#i liked the twilight books

[writingblueefurfire]

Show don't tell only works when you balance it with tell don't show. Telling me a character is in love doesn't do much, if they never show their love. And likewise, I ain't a mindreader, no amount of Acts of Service, or Physical Affection is gonna make me think a character loves someone beyond the platonic, unless it is also stated. One of my favourite book series shows rather than tells. With everything. To the point that if I hadn't read spoilers for it, the fact that one of the characters asked an other to marry them in the epilouge would have come completely out of the left field. If I remember correctly, even with that foreknowledge, no amount of shipper goggles had me shipping them up until that point. I can't read between the lines if there is no lines in the first place.

[anotherpapercut]

genuinely it will never stop baffling me how people will wear twilight shirts and talk about team Edward vs team Jacob and then the same people will be like "I'm not basing my personality off of a piece of media (harry potter) made by a transphobe 😌" like good that's great! so you can excuse racism but you draw the line at transphobia? good to know

[somnimagus]

My page for @sheikahzine; about Impaz's duty to her village, empty of people and full of memories.

[id in alt text]

[rapidhighway]

i have to listen to an audiobook before tomorrow im working im workingg i swear, more knuckles gijinka cause apparently, i love drawing him

[motherjanerainy]

booktok cannot handle unfriendly or emotionally complex female characters. show them a woman who’s a little problematic and they start shaking and shitting themselves. women can be either be martyrs or victims, anything else and ppl short circuit. men can be fucked up emotionally manipulative mass murders but if women have one unpalatable emotion they’re drawn & quartered.

if booktok bitches saw the female characters i liked they would piss blood for a week !!!!

[2deadboys]

one day Charles says something about still being 16. and of course Crystal has to look at him and say all breathy serious

"how long have you been 16?"

and you can hear the audible thud of Edwin putting down his book to give her a look of Disgust.

And she just gives him a look back like 'ah yes, but you knew what i was referencing...'

meanwhile Charles who only kind of paid attention to the twilight movies (when he and edwin watched them once) is looking confused like "since 1989??? when i died?? Crystal you know this"

[animangalover-writes]

What's one of your favorite Zelda songs? I have so many but my top 3 are lost woods(tp version), snowpeak(tp), and minish village probably. PROBABLY. THERES SO MANY GOOD SONGS.

[universalheart]

im one of those witches babe!

[artbycats]

💎✨🦁🐑

[queerstudiesnatural]

i'm gonna say it i genuinely believe that harry potter taught way more harmful messages to girls and young people than twilight ever did, and i'm being 100% serious like this is something i've thought about at length and have also experienced firsthand

[twilight-zoned-out]

Edwin Payne is a dweeb who gives terrible weak comebacks, who can be unnecessarily petty, or overly smug, who is inordinately pleased with himself when wearing detective gear and using scientific gear, the thought never crossing his mind that he might not look as cool as he thinks he does, who carries a continual and utter absolute delight at acting like the characters he loved to read about, who was enthralled by his magazine detective and adventure stories and who wears a similar smile when he sits on the bed watching Scooby Doo with Niko, 'these detectives are terribly clever,' whose board game collection is mostly variations of Clue, who requires payment (because any good detective is worth some kind of payment) but whose idea of payment is whatever interesting object the client offers to add to his collection, who has encyclopedic intelligence he clearly dedicated hours to learning, who has a particular way of acting and speaking like everything is of vital importance, because to him, it is.

[cto10121]

Book Bella vs. Movie Bella: Or, Yeah, Let’s Do A Ginny Weasley and Remove ALL Her Personality, Shall We?

Today’s post is brought to you by:

Because clownery is clownery, even if I do like Kristen Stewart as an actress. But Book Bella, she wasn’t. At all. And I just happen to have receipts.

Twilight

Book Bella is described as slender, though not in an athletic way, with brown hair and eyes, a heart-shaped face, full lips (the top lip a little fuller than the bottom one), and very pale, translucent skin. Edward describes her as “fragile-looking” and “silk in glass”; all in all, a very classically feminine description. Much of her big dick energy comes from her interests than her appearance. Movie Bella is indeed beautiful, but in a statuesque, angular, and yes, athletic kind of way. She is way too tough-looking and stoic, and most convincing during the action sequences

For that matter, Book Bella is much more emotionally expressive. She cries when she gets angry, she’s sassy and sarcastic, she has tantrums on the while, she has the fiercest temper when her loved ones are threatened…it’s never-ending. Movie Bella is either stoic, sullen, or a nervous wreck, there is no in between

Book Bella did not have that many physical tics!!! She bites her lip. That’s literally it. Calm tf down, Stewart

For that matter, Book Bella isn’t as socially awkward, she’s just introverted!!!! She is shy on her first day of school. She gets tongue-tied when she first meets Edwards. But her dialogue is consistently assured and eloquent, to the point where Edward complains that she takes everything so coolly. Movie Bella is awkward from start to finish

Book Bella cooks and cleans for Charlie. Before that, she took care of her mother, even paying the bills and running the household. She is a parentified teen used to taking care of her own parents. Movie Bella tags along with Charlie to some diner and cooks only one time in the whole series

Book Bella: *in response to Edward’s “Shame about the weather”* “Not really”>>>>Movie Bella: “oh, N-NOO, I don’t—any cold or wet thing, really—” 🤮

Book Bella *to Edward in the hospital*: “You owe me an explanation, tell me how did you stop the van, and don’t lie!!!!” 😡 >>>>> Movie Bella: “Edward, how did you stop the van? You were so fast. Pretty please, I won’t tell” 🥺

Book Bella: *sings along to boy band songs with Jessica and Angela, enjoys shopping with them, and helps them get dresses*>>>>Movie Bella: *reads a book throughout and is just uninterested*

Book Bella: *figures out on her own that Edward is a mind reader and tells him so*>>>>Movie Bella: “You can read minds????” 🤯

Book Bella: “Everyone, shut tf up, YES, INCLUDING YOU, EDWARD, I have a plan to stop James”>>>>Movie Bella: “What do you MEAN, James wants to kill me????” 🤯

New Moon

Book Bella never jokes about Edward’s age. In the books, of course, he is emotionally 17. Meanwhile, Movie Bella has this ~tease: “Maybe I shouldn’t be dating such an old man. It’s gross” 🤮 RIP Stewart

Book Bella: *didn’t start being friends with Jacob until after Edward left*>>>>>Movie Bella: “hEY BICEPS.” RIP Stewart

When Edward asks Bella why Jacob and others are allowed to give her gifts, Book Bella and Movie Bella have different responses. Book Bella says explicitly that Edward has already given her so much already—himself. Anything else just “throws us out of balance.” Movie Bella says she "has nothing to give back to [him].” Which is so non-canon, I must cry

Book Bella: “[The actress] is very pretty”>>>>>Movie: “Juliet is perfect, if you like that obviously beautiful sort of thing” why, movie

Book Bella: *horrified and furious over Edward admitting he contemplated suicide and forbids him from ever contemplating that again*>>>>>Movie Bella: “What’s the Volturi?” 😑

Book Bella: *went into a coma for a week, flew into a towering rage when they tried to get her to go to Renée, but then actually went through the motions for Charlie, becoming a straight-A student*>>>>Movie Bella: *sulks on her chair and staring out the window 🎶 THERE’S A POSSIBILITIEEEEEE 🎶*

Also, Movie Bella writing to Alice for no reason. Why would the Cullens even have email? Not that I think Book Bella would write to them even if they had.

Book Bella approaches the men on the street, thinking they are the ones who almost raped her, but then returns to Jessica when she finds out they aren’t. You know, like a normal person. Movie Bella rides with the guy on a motorcycle because she is that idiot

Book Bella changed drastically after Edward left. She couldn’t listen to music, threw out her books, avoided TV and movies. More importantly, she would hug herself whenever she thought of Edward because of a figurative hole in her chest. Jacob would go to mention how awful she looked. Movie Bella also has nightmares, but otherwise she is pretty much her normal self. She doesn’t even hug herself, looks presentable, and barely reacts when Edward and the Cullens are mentioned. That’s because the film never establishes her interests and even her personality, ha, oops

Book Bella: *only vaguely notes when Jacob took off his shirt because, y’know, she is bleeding everywhere*>>>>>>Movie Bella *gawking*: “You’re sort of beautiful”

Book Bella *figures out Jacob is a werewolf and goes to confront him about it, she then meets the rest of the pack with him*>>>>>Movie Bella punches freakin’ PAUL in the face and tells Jacob to run just before he changes

Book Bella comforts Jacob when he talks about Sam’s supposed cult. Movie Bella: “Well, maybe you should just avoid him” 😑

Book Bella: *nearly screams when Jacob appears at her window because she is frightened of Victoria* Movie Bella: “You scared me. The hell are you doing?” 😑 Also, Book Bella initially refused Jacob’s apology and tried to push him out

Movie Bella: “You can’t really run with vampires. ‘Cause they’re fast.” RIP Stewart

Book Bella could not stand Sam/Emily because they reminded her too much of her and Edward. The hole in her chest would literally begin to ache. Movie Bella has no discernible reaction

Omfg, Movie Bella was really going to kiss fucking Jacob!!! Book Bella was literally paralyzed with indecision and was only contemplating passively accepting. The films were so Team Jacob, it’s disgusting

Book Bella excitedly telling Alice to bite her and turn her into a wholeass vampire in the middle of an airplane full of humans. Movie Bella doesn’t, but y’know, time

Movie Bella *to Edward*: “I can let you go now” What. the. Fuck. Book Bella never even had the desire to let go of Edward. She even mentions that if she became a vampire, she could follow him wherever he went. When she went to rescue him, it was because of her love for him. Not because this shit would grant her closure!!!! Fuck you, movie!!!!!

Book Bella had to be RESTRAINED by ALICE to prevent her from going to Edward when he was being tortured by Jane. Movie Bella went into hysterics (not at Jane’s torture, but at the Edward vs. Felix scene) and offered her life in exchange. Which isn’t at bad or OOC per se, but c’mon, Book Bella being ready to go was superior

Edward: “I lied when I said I didn’t love you” → Book Bella: “I knew it, I KNEW I was dreaming” 😭>>>>>>>Movie Bella *believes him almost immediately and makes out with him*

Technically Movie Bella forgives Edward. She kisses him and still wants to be a vampire. So it’s heavily implied. But she never says the words. Book Bella not only tells Edward explicitly that she still loves him, but is flabbergasted that he even needed to ask

Movie Bella tells Edward to shut up during the vote scene. She is officially a different character. Fuck you, movie

Book Bella *to Jacob when he says he doesn’t want her to be a vampire*: “That’s NONE of your business!!! 😡”>>>>>>Movie Bella: “It’s not up to you” 😕

Movie Bella *to Jacob*: “I love you. So please...don’t make me choose” 🤮 Book Bella was very much up the river in Egypt when it came to her love for Jacob, so this is OOC to the extreme

Eclipse

Book Bella has a much more visceral reaction to the idea of marriage than Movie Bella. Incredulity, disgust, fear, shame—the works. Movie Bella just…doesn’t. She looks more amused than anything else

Book Bella is also much, much angrier at Edward for taking out her car’s engine. She didn’t even speak to him, just slammed the car door

Movie Bella admits to Renée that she is going to miss the sun. Book Bella by contrast claims that she is used to the cold. She also handles Renée much better than Movie Bella. It doesn’t help matters that Movie Renée is a regular cool mom who actually gives Bella a graduation gift (a quilt of their old road trip T-shirts...Book Renée would never) and not a lowkey narcissist who let Bella raise herself

Movie Bella gets on the motorcycle with Jacob. Book Bella stays with Edward at school to demand an explanation. This change even had Meyer calling it out for being OOC. The film does it to a) save some precious film time by combining the two scenes and b) to give Movie Bella more agency (I also suspect the filmmakers are mostly Team Jacob). My take? Bella would not and should not have gone with Jacob at this point in the story, especially since she needed to find out about Victoria returning, which is a priority

Jacob: “I’d rather you’d be dead than one of them” Movie Bella: 🥺 Book Bella: 😡😭

Movie Bella: “Stop! I’m tired of this. From now on, I’m Switzerland, okay?” 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮 Book Bella, honey, I’m sorry they did you so dirty

Book Bella being so furious at Jacob kissing her without her consent was everything. So of course they robbed Movie Bella of her fury and had her spend the sequence placating an angry Edward instead. Of course. Fuck you, movie

Not Movie Bella liking Jessica’s speech about making mistakes and changing your mind because "nothing is permament"...when she is about to become a vampire, a literally permanent change. 💀 Book Bella would never

Movie Bella is worried about people getting hurt because of her. Book Bella is more than worried, she was going prematurely gray

Book Bella connects both the intruder, Victoria, and the newborn army while Alice is giving her her blouse. Movie Bella gets a prophetic dream about Maria and Jasper and that...somehow...makes everything click into place. 🫠 Even when it’s following the books, the movie manages to fuck it up somehow

Book Bella guilt-trips Edward into staying with her and away from the fight. She feels guilty, but it was still her idea. Movie Edward suggests it first, and Movie Bella is resistant.

Book Bella was happy to be alone with Edward in the house. Movie Bella...is Movie Bella. Very 😑

Book Bella was so sad when Edward rejected her advances. As in, she cried, poor bby. Movie Bella “understands,” though, and is barely fazed

Book Bella barely and I mean BARELY accepted marrying Edward, and almost didn’t let him put the ring on her. Movie Bella did not even put up the semblance of a fight. Awful, movie, ten points from Gryffindor

Book Bella did not wear Edward’s ring because she has a fear of marriage and rings. Movie Bella did not wear his ring because she did not want Jacob to know

Book Bella doesn’t get at all angry at Edward for letting Jacob know of their upcoming marriage. Movie Bella, however, does, snapping at him and leaving immediately. At this point, does she even like Edward?

Movie Bella finally gets emotional when Jacob threatens to join the fight. A little too late, and of course it’s for Jacob.

Book Bella gets manipulated by Jacob into kissing him. Movie Bella tells Jacob to kiss her out of her own volition. Movie's Team Jacob stance is as obvious as it is sickening

Book Bella was so devastated by her cheating that she begged Edward to be angry at her. She couldn’t even look him in the eye. Movie Bella is just mildly upset. Fuck you too, movie

Movie Bella actually piercing her arm and successfully distracting Riley and Victoria vs. Book Bella about to do it, but then Edward interferring is indeed a big change...that I actually don’t mind. Rare W on Movie Eclipse’s part. 🎉 Or it would have been a W if the movie didn’t do Edward so damn dirty in the process. What do you mean, he was getting wailed on by Riley AND Victoria???? Book Edward had the fight in the bag. The fight scene was much more interesting in the book, and it showed Edward and Seth’s teamwork brilliantly

Book Bella literally faints at just having Jacob’s injury confirmed. Movie Bella is, once again, only concerned

Movie skips Book Bella’s breakdown and recovery of losing Jacob, I see. Fuck you too, movie

Movie Bella’s mini speech about choosing between Jacob and Edward was really the choice between two different life paths is not just Meyer’s notes to the director fortuitously making it into the script. It’s something Book Bella would not say because it’s something she already knows AND something Edward already knows

Movie Edward: “So it’s not just about me?” Movie Bella: “No, sorry.” Movie Bella being a completely different character #454545454543. Once more, fuck you too, movie

Breaking Dawn (Parts 1 & 2)

Not Movie Bella looking longingly at Jacob's dreamcatcher the night before her wedding. 💀At this point she loves him more than Edward

Movie Bella’s pre-wedding dreams are fears about her losing control as a vampire and drinking human blood. Book Bella’s pre-wedding dreams are about the immortal children, foreshadowing Renesmee. I honestly prefer Book Bella’s, since she is never truly afraid of losing control—she thinks Edward and his family would prevent her should that occur. Also, Movie Bella’s dream wedding dress>actual wedding dress. Not by much, though; they’re both nice

Movie Bella looked glad to marry Edward and their kiss was nice. Actually, she just seems much more happier in these last two films. But just a reminder: Book Bella literally threw herself at Edward and they kissed for an uncomfortably long time. Definitely much less restrained

There were some Bella/Jacob clowns that tried to claim Bella didn’t enjoy her wedding and was only happy when Jacob showed up. No idea where that came from, because Movie Bella was laughing with Movie Edward all throughout the speeches and Book Bella was happy as a clam and only happier when Jacob showed up.

That said, Movie Bella did look much happier at Jacob’s arrival. Their reunion is framed as romantic. She clearly loves him more than Book Bella and for that I say, nope

Book Bella was much angrier at the “real honeymoon” conversation with Jacob than Movie Bella. Again, Movie Bella seems to love Jacob so much more. That said, she does manage to shake him off, whereas Book Bella could not escape Jacob’s grip

Book Bella *remembering her wedding night*: 🥰🥳🤩>>>>>>>Movie Bella: *remembering her wedding night* ☺️

Movie Bella: “Why can’t you see how perfectly happy I am?” Because you literally looked happier seeing Jacob than you were remembering sex with Edward, maybe. God, who directed Stewart? Why did she choose this

I will give Movie Bella this, though: She is more deliberate or at least more obvious in her seduction of Edward. Book Bella was more *gives passive-aggressive hints in the hopes that he’ll give in and bang again*

Movie Bella cries at the good sex dream!!!! Finally!!!! Meanwhile Book Bella was downright sobbing

Movie Bella cooks something!!!! Finally!!!! This film is really giving Book Bella

Movie Bella ate chicken, barfed it up, remembered her late period and boom, she knows she is pregnant. Meanwhile Book Bella had been wrestling with symptoms for at least a few days

Movie Bella: “It’s a miracle, I guess” You guess, Book Bella knows

Also, it must be said. Even while visibly dying, Book Bella was still cracking jokes and diffusing the tension. Movie Bella...doesn’t

Book Bella is explicit why she is carrying the half-vampire hybrid: Because it is Edward’s child. It is not because she has suddenly become baby-crazed. Movie Bella offers no explanation whatsoever. We are left to infer only her love for the kid, no more

Movie Bella: “You can hear him?” Meanwhile Book Bella: “HOLY CROW, YOU CAN HEAR HIM”

Movie Bella: *when she first sees Edward post transformation* ☺️ Book Bella: *when she first sees Edward post transformation* 🥵

Book Bella 🤝 Movie Bella: “You nicknamed my daughter after the Loch Ness Monster????!!” That said, Book Bella didn’t hurt poor Seth deliberately! Movie Bella was awful for that

Movie Bella likes Renesmee, but she is much less motherly overall than Edward. Meanwhile Book Bella was obsessed with Renesmee, she practically took over the whole half of BD

Not Movie Bella wearing a sleeveless black tunic dress during her meeting with J. Jenks while Book Bella wore an oyster satin cocktail dress beneath an ivory trench coat. 💀 The one time Book Bella chooses to dress up, and the movie squanders it

Movie Bella *to Edward*: “I can undress myself, you know” Fool, that’s not the point. The point is the Volturi are going to murder you all, and you and Edward have only a month to love each other while you still can. Book Bella took full advantage, why can’t you? Oh, right, because you’re a #girlboss Hollywood protagonist now

Book Bella was the one to order fake documents for Jacob and Renesmee, quickly deducing Jenks’ side hustle. In the movie, however, Jasper was the one to place the order with Jenks, and Movie Bella merely picked it up. The movies are still continuing that ~fine tradition of removing Book Bella’s agency, I see

Book Bella protected their entire group with her shield and was instrumental in the Volturi’s retreat. In the movie, while Bella does use her shield, it is Alice who shows Aro her vision (which breaks canon, since she wouldn’t have been able to see hybrids or werewolves) and that led Aro to back off.

And finally, after the Volturi left, Book Bella embraced Renesmee, with Edward embracing them both. She kisses Edward with so much passion the forest could have been on fire and she wouldn’t have noticed. In the movie they all embraced each other, but with Bella making eye contact with Jacob as Edward and Renesmee hugged each other. For the last time, and I cannot say this enough, fuck you too, movie

[tennessoui]

I'm begging on my hands and knees for more Twilight au, and those are words I never thought I'd say! Anakin being able to resist compulsion, and Obi-Wan seeming instantly obsessed, and poor Shmi! Pretty please 🥺🙏

hey!! sure! here's some more!

(2.5k)

Having a sheriff for a mom sucked a lot when he was a kid growing up in a small town. There was probably nothing Anakin was rebelling against more at eleven, at thirteen, at seventeen than the rule of law his mother represented. 

All things considered, she was pretty good at separating her home life from her worklife. It was Anakin who was bad at respecting the separation, Anakin who couldn’t keep son out of delinquent.  There’s only so many times he could be pulled out of wreckage and bars and buildings with Keep Out No Trespassing signs on them before he got The Sheriff at home and out in public.

He’d hated it growing up and had come to grudgingly respect it later and in fits and starts. His dad dying had, terribly and ironically, helped a lot. His mother had had a stroke just before and then Anakin had been faced with the possibility of being an orphan, and the terror of that had mellowed him out.

Sorta.

He still hates a lot of things about his mother’s job. Especially the fact that she’s the sheriff of a very small town.

And when people talk, she listens.

The thing about small towns is that everyone’s always fucking talking. And other people are always fucking lsitening so they can talk later. One big fucking community, which means when Anakin comes home from his weird doctor’s appointment with Dr. Kenobi, a few hours later because he took a detour biking along the edge of the seaside cliffs just to spit in the good doctor’s metaphorical face, Shmi Skywalker already knows more than Anakin ever planned to tell her.

Like, for instance, “Sheila says that Dr. Kenobi thought it would behoove you to spend some time at the local library volunteering.”

Anakin pauses, backpack half-slung off his shoulders. He hangs his stuff up slowly, careful to keep his tone very light. “Did Sheila say what I told him after he said that?” 

His mom’s silence is very loud.

“I don’t want to do i—”

“I asked the new librarian about it on my way home from the station. She thinks it’s a wonderful idea. Apparently we used to have a program like that in the forties but it died out during the war.”

“Mom, come on—”

“It’ll look good on resumes, saying you created and supported a local reading program.”

“Yeah, but I’m a bit too old to be applying for babysitting positio—”

“It’ll look good for me as well,” Shmi says in her sheriff voice. “Elections are coming up soon. It’ll be good, if my kid was involved in the community.”

Anakin’s glad that his back is still turned to the living room, where his mom is sitting. “Are you gonna run again?” he asks, paying special attention to his tone this time.

“Why wouldn’t I?” his mom replies. “I’ve been sheriff for a decade and a half.”

Anakin lets his eyes fall closed for a second, knowing that his face can’t be seen. This is how they end up half the time: Shmi’s ardent belief that she is invincible, going up against Anakin’s desperate desire for her to be so.

And they just don’t talk about it. As if they’re actually in agreement.

He knows how this is going to shake out.

“Do you have any plans tomorrow?” His mother asks.

Anakin’s eyes remain closed. “I guess so,” he says.

—--------

Mrs. Kenobi—call me Satine—is sort of scary up close. She’s tall. She glides between bookshelves. Anakin’s never met someone who glides before. And she’s so intensely, incredibly, blindingly perfect that Anakin would rather be anywhere but in her vicinity. There’s something incredibly unnerving about the symmetry of her face, the sharpness of her cheekbones. She’s obviously an absolute knock-out, just drop-dead gorgeous, but it makes Anakin’s skin crawl and his heart beat fast, but not in a good way or a normal teenage boy way.

Anakin tries to keep the unease off his face as Satine leads him through a tour of the library, a gentle hand on his forearm. That’s another thing Anakin doesn’t really like. She’s wearing satin gloves. He doesn’t know anyone who wears gloves anymore.

It’s just all a bit…unsettling.

“I put in a few words around the school yesterday afternoon,” Satine tells him. They pass by the mystery section, the fantasy section, and take a hard right into the young adult section. The shelves are smaller here, and Anakin feels rather stupidly gigantic as he and Satine walk through them. “To some parents picking their children up after school. They agreed it would be good exposure to bring them to the library for an hour or so of reading before supper.”

Anakin highly doubts it will be, but Satine hasn’t really asked him.

She sweeps past his figure and pushes open a pair of double doors with a flourish better suited for a Russian tsarina hosting an elaborate ball than a small town librarian showing off a small, cramped, and dusty room filled with padded seats and threadbare rugs.

And then, as if she has been waiting to put the last nail in the proverbial coffin, Satine adds, “A few students from the local high school will be here as well.”

“Sorry,” Anakin says, “are you saying I’m going to be reading to high school students? Can’t they do that themselves?”

After all, Anakin went to high school here. Academics hadn’t been too rigorously challenging, but they’d taught the fucking basics.

Satine raises one perfectly plucked eyebrow in his direction. “They’ll be volunteering as well.”

Oh. Right.

“It looks good on their college applications,” Satine waves a hand through the air and the words linger there. Anakin looks out the rather dirty window, jaw clenching. “I’ve already chosen a handful of books I think the young ones will enjoy.”

Anakin, committed to his fate, pads over to the titles placed carefully ontop of a short, stout side table. 

“Peter the Rabbit,” he reads off the top. “Peter Pan. Alice in Wonderland. Treasure Island. The Prince and the Pauper—look, you’re the librarian here, but don’t you have anything written this century maybe? Harry Potter, even.”

“These are classics,” Satine tells him, her nose raised into the air as if she has encountered something particularly foul-smelling. She turns away, presumably to return to the front desk so she can welcome half the fucking town inside the library so Anakin can read them fucking Anne of Green Gables and become a better person.

“These are fucking boring,” he mutters to himself, flicking the cover of the first book, The Wonderful Wizard of Oz open. Publication date: 1900. “I’d rather be in Kenobi’s office getting lectured at.”

There’s a sharp noise of disapproval from the doorway, and Anakin’s head snaps up to see the tail end of a very heated look from the librarian before the door closes behind her.

He shivers, alone in the emply room, and it takes several long minutes for his heart to settle back into its normal pace. 

—----------

After the fourth kid sneezes, Anakin closes his book with a snap and stands from the very small chair they’ve got him sitting on. “Come on,” he tells the cluster of children he’s been assigned to. “We’re getting out of here.”

“Are you kidnapping us?” One of them, a snot-nosed kid who’d started the sneezing says, rubbing at her cheek beneath her glasses. “Cause mommy says that’s not allowed.”

“I’m not kidnapping you,” Anakin snaps back, barely holding in his natural follow-up to the sentence which is of course, I don’t want to be around any of you in the first place. “Also, just for future reference, you shouldn’t ask if someone’s kidnapping you after you already start following them.”

The girl scowls and reaches up her hand to hold onto Anakin’s. 

For the love of Christ.

“We’re just going to go into the main part of the library,” Anakin tells his children, all six of them. “They have windows out there.”

They have windows out there and they also have parents. Parents who absolutely should be doing other things with their lives and precious hour of extra freetime.

Parents who are clustered instead around the library’s front desk as the town’s newest librarian holds court.

“Is reading time over?” one of the kids asks him, turning his head to look up at Anakin.

Anakin thinks about it. “Do you want reading time to be over?”

The kid thinks about it back. “Yeah,” he decides. “You don’t do the voices good.”

“It’s a boring book,” Anakin tells the kid. “Voices aren’t going to make it better.”

“Voices always make it better,” another kid says. “They make everything better.”

“Oh look,” Anakin says. “Is that your father?”

He gestures vaguely towards the cluster of drooling middle-aged somethings focused on Satine.

The kid peeks around his thigh and then shakes his head. “No,” he says. “That’s Dr. Obi.”

“Dr. Obi!” The kid holding Anakin’s hand says, and she lets go.

Anakin gets a bad feeling about this, a feeling that only doubles when he turns around to see Dr. Kenobi sauntering towards him, hands tucked into the pockets of a long dark jacket that makes him look even more pale than he already is.

He scowls automatically as the man gets closer. “Dr. Obi.”

Dr. Kenobi spares him a look that’s far too amused for Anakin’s pleasure before he crouches down to the level of the kids. “Hello there, young ones,” he says, opening his arms to accept a hug from the traitor of a girl Anakin’s just spent thirty minutes reading to. “Are you eating all your vegetables? Even the brussel sprouts?”

“I like brussel sprouts,” one of the kids reports sounding proud, and that starts a cacophony of opinions about brussel sprouts from all around Anakin.

“Wow! One of mine just absolutely hates them,” Dr. Kenobi says. “She refuses to eat them, so you’re very brave, Michele.” He lets go of the girl and turns his golden-brown gaze up to Anakin. “And what does Mr. Skywalker think?” he asks, raising a hand for Anakin to take. It’s very obvious he’s asking for a hand up and Anakin is obeying before he thinks about it. He snatches his hand free almost too soon, but Dr. Kenobi doesn’t even have the grace to lose his balance and fall over. 

His hand is like ice in Anakin’s, and Anakin stuffs his fingers into the pocket of his jacket automatically a second later.

“Do brussel sprouts help with circulation?” he’s biting out before he can stop himself. “Cause you may need some then.”

Kenobi’s head tilts very slightly to the side as his eyes catch and hold onto Anakin’s. “Oh?” he asks lightly. 

“You’re cold,” is all Anakin mutters in return. He swipes his other hand against the back of his neck. “”S poor circlutation, isn’t it? Something in your diet maybe?” Dr. Kenobi blinks at him and then breaks into a wide smile. “I can assure my diet is very…circulation-mindful,” he says. “Blood health positive.”

Anakin’s mouth thins into a line. He guesses that’s what he gets for trying to give health advice to a doctor, especially a doctor like Kenobi who just so happens to be devastatingly attractive and also smart.

And also an asshole. And also married.

Speaking of which. “Are you here to fend off your wife’s admirers with a scalpel?” Kenobi’s eyebrows raise. “Young ones,” he turns his head away from Anakin, down to the children.

The strangest feeling breaks of Anakin the second Kenobi looks away, almost as if a strange pressure he hadn’t even realized had been building was suddenly dissolved.

The very small beginnings of a headache begin to thrum in his temples.

“Young ones, it’s time to find your parents, isn’t it?” Kenobi says, and like fucking magic, the crowd of six children around Anakin disperse, children swarming away from him towards the group of adults surrounding the front desk.

“Can you teach me how to do that?” Anakin blurts out, even though he’d meant to ignore Kenobi now that he doesn’t have to make nice in front of small kids. Not that he was really making nice in the first place. But now he definitely doesn’t have to.

Kenobi gives him a half-smile, eyes heavy-lidded. “It’s a special sort of skill that takes, above all else, much practice.”

Anakin scowls. “What’s that supposed to mean?” Does Kenobi think he can’t commit himself to something even as mundane as a fucking commanding persona? Does he think he doesn’t have it in him to be–-

Kenobi’s eyebrows go up again. “Has anyone ever told you that you are exceedingly defensive?” 

“You’re extremely nosey,” Anakin snaps back, crossing his arms over his chest. “Don’t you have better things to focus on right now anyway?”

He gestures loosely towards Satine, who has started playing with one of the mother’s bracelets as the other woman stands and looks at her rather dumbfounded.

Kenobi follows his gaze and then lets out a huff of laughter. “Satine can take care of herself,” he says, even though it hadn’t really been Satine that Anakin was worried about.

He’s about to open his mouth to say so when Kenobi turns back to him. His eyes are piercing, a dark, captivating sort of gold. 

“Do you find my wife beautiful, Anakin?” he asks.

Anakin blinks. His headache is getting worse, which is probably down to what can only be a trick-question fashioned to look like a grenade lobbed at his feet. “I don’t think there’s a good answer to that,” he mutters, rubbing absently at his forehead. “What the fuck.”

“An honest answer is a good one,” Kenobi says lightly. “Tell me honestly.”

The words feel pulled from Anakin’s stomach, and he’s opening his mouth before he realizes it. “No,” he says. 

Kenobi’s eyebrows crinkle together. “No?”

Anakin curses his stupid impulse control. “She’s beautiful,” he adds quickly. “Really. But…it makes me uncomfortable.”

Kenobi’s lips purse, and then there’s something like disappointment in his eyes as he examines Anakin. “Ah yes,” he murmurs. “I’ve been told my wife can make countless young men feel rather uncomfortable. It’s normal in men your age, Anakin. Sexual ar—”

“Uncanny,” Anakin blurts out. He doesn’t mean to, but he also doesn’t want to listen to  Kenobi trying to lecture him on fucking arousal in the public library. When it’s not even relevant. “She’s so beautiful, it’s uncanny.”

“Uncanny.”

“Yeah, like. Monstrous.”

Kenobi’s mouth falls open, pink lips parted in what looks like honest surprise.

Anakin’s own eyes widen as it hits him that he’s just called Kenobi’s wife a monster to Kenobi’s face.

“Shit,” he says. “Sorry. I didn’t mean that. I’m going to go.” 

He throws a look at Kenobi, whose eyes are lit with something a lot like interest and then across the library to where Satine’s head is turned, cocked, and eyebrows up high on her forehead, as if she’s just heard everything he’s said.

He decides rather immediately that he’s going to take the backdoor exit.

[transannabeth]

you will never get these two to play baseball

[greenerteacups]

Hi GT,

Forgive me if this is a stupid question, but I absolutely love the recs you've given (you've introduced me to tomione, and I love it!) and I was wondering if it's possible to give you some recs in return? There are some books and fics that definitely have dramione / got vibes, and I was wondering if I could share them with you!

So glad you've enjoyed them! Feel free to rec me anything you want. I've read most of the classic recs in terms of fic and adjacent content (Cruel Prince et al), but I'll try anything that's well-written. My tastes run towards weird and/or audaciously creative stuff, and I can forgive a lot of weaknesses in plot on the grounds of (1) ambition or (2) character work. My turnoffs are instalove, protagonists who can't fail, and most Y/A (I'm not a hater, I swear, I just need characters who can say "fuck" when their leg gets chopped off.)

I'm also a fan of weird and fucked-up dynamics.(Wuthering Heights was my favorite book for a while, and as a teenager I wrote an AU in which the book ends on a long sex scene where Heathcliff fucks Cathy's ghost and then immediately gets murdered by Catherine 2.) Obviously, I am very normal.

[throwawayasoiafaccount]

question: how can you adore elia when she’s barely a character?

we do not know enough about this character for her to even have stans.

stanning elia is illogical at best, completely delusional and very concerning at worst.

because what even is it that is being stanned and adored? your self insert?