#new way to be incredibly annoying unlocked

[nick--knack]

"yeah Die Marschmusikanten's cover of Alte Kamaraden is alright but I prefer the cover by Karl Heinz Loges Marsch Band"

"Denis Bédard was cooking so fucking hard when he wrote Gilbraltar March man what the hell"

"that one part in the latter half of Stars and Stripes Forever and Radetzky March kinda sound simmilar lmao maybe im just going insane"

imagine if i talked about military marches and classical music the same way that i do with regular music

[juniperjelly]

once again minecraft fans be mad for all the wrong reasons

[ashtheketchum]

● Some revenge ●

Daryl Dixon X fem.Reader

Era: Season 11, Commonwealth

Summary: The neighbors in your new home are way too loud. So you and Daryl got revenge. Warnings: +18 CONTENT, , FEM.Reader, unprotected sex, doggy style, handjob, dirty talk, spanking, petnames (like Baby and Babe)

Words: 2.4k

Masterlist!

_________________________________

PoV (Y/N):

We had been living in the Commonwealth for a while now and Daryl and I already had jobs too. While Daryl worked with the other soldiers, I had to work at a bookstore. Although I wanted to work with Daryl, Hornsby said I would be better off with a quieter job. It annoyed me, but I accepted it and worked in that store from morning to night. Sometimes Judith and RJ came by to keep me company, but whenever I saw them, I saw tired faces. And I also knew the reason why.

Although we lived in a small apartment, the walls were incredibly thin so you could hear everything. And the neighbors weren't particularly quiet.They talked way too loudly, had parties, or listened to loud music. And it didn't seem to bother anyone else, because when Daryl and I went to complain, all we got was the statement that the problem would be resolved soon. And that was quite a while ago.

So I sit tiredly in my chair, reading a book while I come up with a plan to solve this problem. Daryl had often suggested solving it in his way, but luckily I was always able to stop him. But then an idea came to me. The city knew that I had been with Daryl for several years now and I wanted to take advantage of that. The knowledge alone didn't even make many men think about looking at me askance. So with a slight feeling of happiness, I finished my work a little earlier and prepared everything for my plan. To do this, I picked up Judith and RJ from school and I made sure that they both slept somewhere other than in our apartment. And after that, I had to discuss everything with Daryl.

That same day I got the apartment ready, I got the bed ready, I put on provocative underwear and I also prepared some food. Of course I still had my pants and shirt on over my underwear, but I was still a little happy. It was becoming increasingly rare that Daryl and I had sex, but whenever we did, it was incredibly good. While I was preparing the meal, I heard the neighbors, who could never be quiet, enter their apartment and prepare everything for a loud evening. But I would be faster and hopefully it would be a little quieter. Daryl would even come home a little early. "Then let's start the plan..." I muttered quietly to myself before I heard our door unlock and Daryl step inside. "I´m back." He just grumbled loudly.

I walked up to him and hugged him tightly, a big smile on my lips. “Hey... How was your day?" I asked as I gave him a kiss on the cheek. Daryl just hummed quietly before resting his head on my shoulder. This was enough of an answer for me and I ran my fingers through his hair. He seemed very tired, I almost wanted to ditch the idea so he could rest. But I could hardly open my mouth before we heard the neighbors laughing loudly. Daryl and I both growled in annoyance before we separated and I went back into the kitchen while Daryl took off his shoes. "Where are Judith and RJ?” He asked as I spread our food onto our plates. "I sent them both somewhere else for the night, to friends' houses to be exact." "Oh? Why’s tha´?” I heard him ask and the next moment I heard his armor being stripped off.

I bit my bottom lip uncertainly before turning to look at him. Daryl only had on his black pants and his black sweater, which he always wore under his armor. The material was a little tighter to his skin than his other clothes, which is why I could see his slight muscles. I unconsciously licked my lips as I studied him. The archer noticed this, of course, and hummed briefly in amusement. He slowly walked towards me until he was standing in front of me, resting his hands behind me on the kitchen counter. “Ya have anythin´ special planned, woman?” His voice seemed a little deeper than it actually was and I had to grin slightly. "Yes… I wanted to take care of the neighbors… and I need your help for that…" My voice also became a little quieter, more passionate and Daryl growled softly.

My eyes filled with lust and I slowly moved my hand up his chest. “What’s on yar mind?” Before I answered his question, I pressed my lips firmly against his. Immediately the archer growled and he wrapped his arms around my waist. I wrapped my arms around his neck to pull him even closer to me. Our lips moved against each other in a quick rhythm until I let my tongue roam his bottom lip. He immediately reciprocated my action by licking my lower lip and then sliding his tongue into my mouth. My tongue immediately received his and I moaned loudly against his lips. His hands moved lower and lower until they were on my ass. He pinched it gently once, making me whimper and jump up immediately. His strong arms immediately went under my thighs and I wrapped my legs around his waist.

Our pelvises were now rubbing right against each other and I rolled my hips against his to feel some pressure against my pussy. “Greedy~?” His voice resembled a purr and I hummed loudly. We broke apart briefly to take a breath and looked deeply into each other's eyes. His hands started massaging my butt and I started kissing his neck. I felt Daryl slowly move and in the next few seconds I was lying on our soft bed. Sadly our bedroom was right next to our neighbors living room, but now it couldn't have been better positioned.

Daryl pressed a gentle kiss to my lips before sitting up and wrapping my legs around his waist again. His fingers ran under my shirt and he slowly pushed it up until he could see my stomach. Grumbling, Daryl leaned down and kissed my stomach gently, his stubble tickling my skin a little, making me giggle softly. While he covered my skin with kisses, his fingers pushed my shirt further and further up until my breasts were now exposed. I wore a black bra that was very simple in design. It wasn't anything exciting, but at a time when you had to fight for your own survival and therefore only wore sports bras, this bra was very sexy. “God, ya look good~…” Daryl growled quietly as his gaze went up. I smiled slightly as his kisses continued upward until his lips brushed over my bra.

My nipples were already hard, but you couldn't see them through the bra. Daryl probably had the same thought I had because the next moment he took off my shirt completely and then let his hands go to the straps of the bra. “May I?” "Of course…" And with those words, he slowly pulled the straps from my arms. The thin material gave me goosebumps and I sighed loudly as Daryl opened the clip on my bra and finally took it off. He simply threw both on the floor and didn't give the material any further thought. He then did the same with my pants and panties. He kissed my clit briefly before sitting up again.

He slowly took off his shirt, his strong chest and his scars slowly becoming visible. Daryl had told me about his life back then, what his father had done to him and what he had to go through. I was sorry, but I also wanted to show him that he could feel safe and comfortable with me. Although it took a really long time, his fear gradually subsided and he now even dared to take a shower with me. “You’re perfect…” I murmured, my eyes all dreamy as I looked at his chest. I slowly ran my fingertips over his skin, over his nipples and then over his scar. The archer shuddered briefly before pushing me back down and pressing his face between my breasts.

He sucked greedily on my skin and licked it too. With his rough fingers he massaged my nipples, making me inhale sharply. I arched my back and I felt Daryl rub his pelvis against mine. A noticeable bulge was slowly forming in his pants and the bigger it got, the faster his movements against my pelvis became. My breathing became louder and louder, I had completely blocked out the noises of the neighbors. "God Daryl~…" "I know, baby~…" His voice made me gasp and I felt him slowly pull away from me. He unzipped his pants and pulled out his member, it was already rock hard and a few drops of pre-cum flowed down his shaft. "So hard for ya…~"

I slowly sat up and kissed his stomach gently. I wrapped my fingers around his shaft and moved my hand up and down. Daryl gasped softly as I squeezed hard a few times. I spread his pre-cum onto his shaft before he pushed me away and pressed his lips to mine again. Groaning, I closed my eyes, but before I could respond to his kiss, he pulled away from me again. “Turn aroun’~” He didn't even wait but grabbed my waist and turned me onto my stomach before giving my ass a slap. I whimpered loudly as I felt Daryl lift my hips. I laid my upper body on the mattress and turned my face slightly to the side so that I could still breathe.

“Ya wan’ tha’?” Daryl asked, his voice growling. His cock rose against my entrance and I just whimpered loudly. I confirmed his question with a nod and moved my pelvis further against him. He slapped my ass again, making me moan louder this time. I could be loud, shout, moan loudly. It was pretty unusual, but finally being able to do it felt really good. “Yes~! I want you inside me, Daryl! Please!” I then whimpered loudly. Daryl growled briefly again before slowly pushing himself into me.

His cock stretched my inner walls hard, making us both whimper and growl loudly. You could tell we hadn't had sex in a long time, my pussy was incredibly tight and Daryl's breathing was very fast. Just like mine. “God, ya feel good~…” Daryl purred loudly before slapping my ass again. Panting loudly, I gripped the bed sheet tightly while Daryl finally pulled back a little, only to then press himself completely back into me. He thrust into me again and again, our skin slapped against each other loudly, but our voices drowned out the slapping noises. “So good!” I screamed loudly. I could only faintly hear the neighbors murmuring something, but I ignored it and enjoyed the fullness that Daryl gave me. God, we have to fuck more often again.

Daryl moved his hips harder and harder against mine, his hands gripping my hips or waist tightly. Sometimes he would massage my ass, then he would caress my sides, and then he would slap my ass again. He kept this process for quite a while and he made me see stars with it. My eyes rolled back as his tip hit my special spot and I moaned his name loudly. “God, Daryl~…! Yes, fuck~!” “Ya like tha´?… yeh, ya like tha´, baby~” Suddenly his hand was between my shoulder blades and he pushed my upper body a little further down. He lightly pressed my face into the pillow and I screamed loudly into it. But Daryl didn't seem to like the fact that my voice was now much muffled, so he pulled me back up so that my back was pressed against his chest.

"I wan' ya, ta scream loud an' nice, 'kay?" He growled softly in my ear and I breathed faster and faster. I felt a little dizzy from my rapid breathing and Daryl's thrusts. He now buried his face into my shoulder, his right hand went to my breast, which he massaged roughly, and his left hand went to my clit. He massaged my clit in circular motions, just as he swirled his finger around my nipple. “Fuck, I’m gonna cum~…!” I screamed loudly. Daryl just growled loudly before I felt him bite my skin lightly. He wouldn't leave a mark, but it was enough to make me whimper. “Good~…cum aroun’ ma cock, yah?” He then growled in my ear.

His voice gave me goosebumps and I nodded quickly again. The pressure in my abdomen increased and my vision slowly became black. I felt that Daryl's thrusts were becoming more and more irregular and his cock was also throbbing harder inside me. Before I could do anything I came around his shaft and I screamed his name loudly. As loud as I was screaming, the entire house probably heard us, but we didn't care at the moment. “Fuck~…! Yes, jus’ like tha’…” After Daryl said this he pulled out of me and he flipped me over. He gently pushed me back into bed and he kissed my lips briefly. As he pulled away from me, he wrapped his fingers around his shaft and he moved them quickly down on us. He put his face between my breasts and he breathed in my scent deeply. The archer growled loudly once before I felt his hot cum on my skin. He sprayed on my stomach and some hit my breasts too.

Breathing heavily, he began kissing my skin as I also tried to get my breathing back under control. “God, that was good…!” I then uttered, with a slight giggle. Daryl just snorted briefly before sitting up and looking at my body. The archer remained silent for a moment before he got up and put his boxershorts back on properly and then got some towels. He gently wiped his cum from my skin before throwing away the towels and placing a kiss on my forehead. “Now the neighbors stay quiet… and if not…” Daryl didn't have to continue, I understood what he meant. A wide grin crept onto my lips before I nodded slightly and gently pressed his lips to mine.

[satanic-foxhole-court]

One of my favourite types of Neil fics is Neil coming to terms with the fact that’s it’s okay to want Andrew. That it’s perfectly appropriate to crave him, think of the what it’s like to feel Andrew’s mouth on his body, to fantasise.

From an asexual spectrum experience I have incredibly rare sexual attraction (and romantic but not the point here), and it’s so relatable for me to read Neil being ashamed, confused and even annoyed at himself that he’s like that because it wasn’t like that before. A level was unlocked, a wax seal was broken, a fire was started and there’s no undoing it. Time for Neil to get used to the new normal of wanting Andrew in a sweaty, sexual, craving, crawl into Andrew’s chest if Andrew let him way.

[queers-gambit]

Lost and Found

prompt: ( requested ) you're just friends, but on your first night at Saltburn, you get lost in the vast halls and accidentally walk in on lover boy after a bath. he wants you to stay.

pairing: Felix Catton x female!reader

fandom masterlist: Saltburn

word count: 3.6k+

note: this SHOULD'VE gotten slutty, but it DIDN'T because i'm back in the hospital and the LAST thing i need is a nurse walking in on me writing fucking smut - oh, my God, can you imagine? new fear unlocked!

warnings: RIP Queen Lizzie, cursing, sexual tension, emotions are hard, Lord's name in vain, depiction of mental illness (anxiety), author throws in a little personal detail cause writing is therapy.

"Honestly, who lives in a place like this? The bloody Queen, that's who. Her and all her fucking rooms! Jesus!" You grumbled, dipping down another winding hallway. "All right, this looks familiar, that's... Encouraging, right?" You frowned, glass of water in hand after venturing to the kitchen to fetch it - but now, you couldn't navigate your way back to your room. "Of course," you growled quietly, opening a door and finding a linen closet.

How silly, in a place like this! A fucking linen closet!

You huffed and shut the door, feeling incredibly awkward and terribly misplaced. You mind screamed that didn't belong here, you never should've set foot in a place like this! How fucking foolish you felt, like a silly little girl who was just excited her crush spoke to her, let alone invited you home with him for the summer holiday.

But it was Felix fucking Catton - certified enigma. He was all man with a boyish charm who smiled at you on move-in day at Oxford and sealed your fate. He was ridiculously nice, so very sweet, borderline annoying with his giving nature and kindness. He was loyal to a fault, intuitive, observant, admirably carefree, and so very happy to give his love to anyone who needed it. For a few weeks, you felt almost offended by his attention, wondering what kind of broken soul he thought you were; knowing he had an affinity for "damaged" or "broken" things.

At least, that's what his cousin, Oxford's registered and certified catty bitch, Farleigh Start, teased you about relentlessly when he noted the way Felix hung around you. Felix invited you out with friends, offered to study together, walked you to and from classes - even if his were in the literal opposite direction. You had no honest idea how the two were related, given Farleigh's constant attitude and Felix's overwhelming kindness, but that wasn't for you to understand. You just relished the attention Felix bestowed in-between your skepticism.

And here you are, your first night in his home, Saltburn, completely lost and totally turned-around! You didn't need water all that bad, did you? Granted, you had a several tablets to take that evening to maintain your health, but you could've used the fucking sink in the adjoining bathroom! You grew frustrated the more doors you opened, finding empty rooms or closets or another fucking library or studies or whatever! As if this home wasn't big enough, there were multiple levels and all you knew was that you and Felix were both located on the same floor with his parents above you and his sister and Farleigh beneath.

So, that helped.

But you still felt so fucking silly.

Seriously, who got LOST in someone else's home!? Fools, that's who!

Okay, okay, okay, you didn't need to be so hard on yourself, but you grew nervous and fearful for a reason you didn't understand. Your anxiety was planted in your stomach, festering, growing, taking over you to the point that you had tears in your eyes when you found yet ANOTHER fucking study!

"Oh, even the bloody fucking Queen doesn't have this many useless rooms, and she's a much bigger family, Jesus fucking Christ," you sneered to yourself - ready to give up and just sleep in one of the empty rooms. But you didn't want Duncan finding you in the morning, asking questions, forcing you to admit you were lost - you felt humiliated enough as it was! And that was without anyone witnessing this absolute mess you had made!

Well, not technically a mess - but you felt like a mess the more you crept around. And now, you felt fucking creepy - like some stalker, sneaking around the halls, trying to spy on this very nice family. You knew you weren't, but the feeling was still there - fucking anxiety would honestly be the death of you.

However, you came upon a familiar (enough) door that had a gentle light emitting from under it. With a sigh of relief, you suddenly remembered leaving a light on for yourself to return to; reaching for the doorknob, twisting it, and darting into the room while swiftly swinging the door close - but halting it to shut quietly as to not disturb anyone in the empty halls.

Yeah, anxiety was a bitch.

"Ohh-ho, evenin', love," a voice greeted, making you gasp, jump, and twist around. "Miss me that much? Heard the drain on the tub, didn't yah, had to come sneak a peek?"

Felix fucking Catton stood at the end of a messy bed in all his glory, running a towel through his wet curls. Nothing obscuring your sight, nothing hiding his manhood, nothing - literally nothing on his body except a shit-eating grin.

"Jesus, Fi! Fuck, I-I-I'm so - um," you gulped, trying not to ogle him, but failing (miserably) when beads of water rolled between the contours of his impossibly impressively sculpted muscles. "I just - you know, this place is so bloody big - um, I'm sorry - I just... Yeah..."

He smirked, nodding sarcastically, "Uh-huh. And you just happened to stumble into my room? Pretty good timing, too, wasn't it?"

You squeaked, "I didn't mean to! I swear - Felix, I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to, um, yeah, you know - uh..."

"Like what you see, sweetheart? Why don't you come in closer, get a better look?"

You adverted your eyes out of respect and fumbled messily for the door handle. "Oh, sweet Jesus. Bloody house is just too bloody big, I got all turned around - just needed some water and I just - fuck, I'm sorry - "

"Hey, hey," Felix chuckled, wrapping his towel loosely around his hips so his V-line was still on raunchy display, "I'm only teasin', love. I know this place can get confusin' t'newcomers. I actually meant to grab you some water, know you gotta take your tablets."

You swallowed your embarrassment, sighing, "I'll just - yeah - no - I'll, um, just go - I'm so sorry, again."

"You know where you're goin' all of a sudden?"

You faced the door, not wanting to make him uncomfortable, shaking your head gently, "Well, no, but I'll figure it out - I left a, um, I left a light on, you know, to help - I don't know - uh, guide me?"

"You've not stuttered this much since we first met," he laughed, tugging a pair of boxers on for your sanity (and to your dismay). "I'm dressed, doll, you can look at me now. C'mon, bit weird talkin' to your back."

"We're not talking, Felix, I'm going to bed."

"Then why haven't you left yet?"

You blinked at the intricately carved door, realizing your hand was still on the knob, but it hadn't turned. "I didn't want to be so rude as to just walk out, mid-sentence!"

"Hey, hey, you're all right, darlin', I'm only teasin'," he grinned, hearing his bare feet pad over the ground before his warm hand wrapped around your elbow. "C'mon, love, hang with me a bit - 's not that late, is it?"

"Oh, so, Duncan can walk in? Make his assumptions?" You whispered, slowly facing him and leaning back on the door with a pout. His big, brown, doe-eyes stared directly into yours, making you feel under his spotlight - something akin to a privilege, since Felix Catton didn't bestow his attention on everyone. "I just needed water, I didn't mean t'get, you know, lost like this. Seriously, this place looks totally different at night."

"Surprised you even got this far, huh?"

"I looked in any room with an open door," you admitted with a small wince. "I felt so creepy, but I was all turned around - and you know, you shouldn't leave other lights on in rooms not being used. Terrible waste of energy."

"Awh, my sweet, environmentally-conscious girl," he cooed, hand raising to gently pinch your jaw. There was a serene moment, the pair of you just staring at one another, becoming acutely aware that he was still practically naked. "C'mon, don't leave yet, we can play cards if you like?"

"I've medicine t'take - "

"Right, right, right," he nodded, letting his hand drift to hold your neck in a gentle grasp. "Tell you what, you stay here, I'll grab your meds, and bring them back? You keep 'em in that li'l pink bag, yeah?"

"I don't know how to feel that you know which is my med bag," you narrowed your eyes playfully.

"Just shows I pay attention, don't it?"

"Maybe shows we spend too much time together?"

He kissed his teeth, grinning at you, "There's no such thing - in fact! I reckon we could double our time together and it still wouldn't feel like enough."

"Well, how's that help me later? I still don't know where my room is - oh, don't laugh!" You groaned, Felix snickering louder. "Fi, c'mon, it's not funny - this place is huge! Like, illegally huge!"

He cooed, "Oh, doll, 'M not laughing at you, promise. Just... You're not the first person t'get lost here, yeah?"

You scoffed with severe discomfort, "I really don't want t'hear 'bout all the other girls you've brought home - "

"Hey, now," he cut you off swiftly, "don't do that." He shrugged meekly, "There's been no others, just friends. Mine, Farleigh's, Venetia's... They've all gotten lost once or twice... Or that time we had to actually draw Reggie a map, poor lad got lost around every bend."

You rolled your eyes, "Truly expect me to believe that, do you?" Then you let your eyes widen a fraction, teasing, "Oh, wow, you really believe it! You really believe you haven't brought home other girls who you're interested in or who are into you?"

He crowded you into the door, shifting the room's energy to something sultry, making you hold your breath as his hand slid into your hair. "You know you're the only one, right?"

"You know that's absolute bullshite, right? Like, what a fucking line!"

He tisked, "C'mon, doll."

"Be honest, Felix."

His head cocked, "Want the truth?"

"That'd be a nice change of pace."

He scoffed lightly, "I don't give a single fuck if any of our previous guests cared for me - only you. Hear me?" He took the last step so he was stood with his feet slotted between yours. "I didn't bring them here for any other reason than friendly entertainment. You've seen the place, as big as it is, can get a bit lonely without anyone to hang with. But I asked you here... For different reasons..." He whispered, eyes jutting down to your lips as he kept a firm hold on you.

"And what reasons are those, Fi?"

He smirked, "Obviously... To kick your arse at cards."

You were flooded with pure disappointment. Raw, unfiltered disappointment that deflated your shoulders. "Yeah, right, like that would ever happen," you covered, nudging him a single step away from you. "Wanna be a gentleman and direct me to my room now?"

"Nope," he grinned, snatching your hand and yanking you away from the door. "You're gonna sit your pretty self right here," he nudged you to the edge of his bed, turning for his desk, then turning back to you to slap a deck of cards to your hand, "you're gonna shuffle these, and mentally prepare to get your arse handed to you at your own game."

You chuckled slightly, "Thought you hated 51 Rummy?"

"Only when sober," he smirked, leaning down to peck your forehead sweetly. "Sit tight, doll, I'll be a moment, yeah?"

You sighed and watched him exit the room, reaching to set your glass of water down and observe the room. In a moment of weakness, you pet over his sheets as if tempted to snuggle into them - and you were! You were cold from the lack of robe you meant to shrug on, and wondering the halls of Saltburn took much longer than you anticipated - now wanting to dive into the warmth you knew was left, the same warmth that Felix left on everything.

You jumped when the door opened again, Felix slipping inside with your little pink bag. His brows pinched, "All right, love?"

"Hmm? Yeah - "

"Your feet are nearly blue," he shook his head, handing you your bag before turning for his wardrobe. "Socks or sweats?"

"Huh?"

He turned, holding up a pair of sweatpants and socks, repeating, "Socks or sweats? Figured you're a bit cold in that." The left side of his mouth quirked up in a smirk, eyeing you in your sleep shorts and loose teeshirt that had the collar ripped out, showing a hint of cleavage.

"Oh, uh, socks, please."

He tossed you the socks, dropped the sweats, and joined you on the bed as you pulled the oversized garment onto your feet. "C'mere, get close, get comfortable," he chuckled, pushing his blankets down to sit in the sheets, waiting until you turned in the bed to yank the blankets up over both your legs. "Didn't shuffle? My naughty girl," he joked, reaching for the deck of cards and opening it. He offered a much softer smile, eyes darting to your medicine bag, and then focusing on the cards - as if to give you privacy to take your meds.

You did so quickly, insecure about the rattling bottles and the amount of tablets in your cupped hand, but never once had Felix made you feel bad about your needs. After swallowing them, you cleared your throat and turned to face Felix as he divided the cards for the game, nodding to his side table, "Paper's over there, doll, for the score."

"Sure you want me to keep score?" You asked softly, reaching for the pad of paper and spare pen. "Last time we played, you lost so very miserably, I was embarrassed for you. We can save your pride a li'l, not keep score."

"It's only polite to let the pretty lady win."

"Oh, tryin' to butter me up, are you?"

"Is it working?"

"I'll let you know."

Felix chuckled, leaning back to the headboard. Then, he asked softly, "You feelin' all right?"

"Hmm? Oh, yeah, all good."

"Sure?"

"Why?"

"Hands are shakin' a bit."

You eyed him for a moment, changing the subject by asking, "How're you not freezing? Seriously, 's like the floors are air conditioned."

"Nah, just not cold."

"Your nipples say otherwise."

"Lookin' at my nipples, are you?" He grinned. "Now you're a very naughty girl, knew you didn't stumble into my room on accident!"

"Oh, don't flatter yourself!" You pushed his shoulder, but he leaned closer. "Felix - "

"You could just stay here," he offered softly.

"You got me for a game - "

"No, I mean, uh..." He chuckled to himself, shaking his head and readjusting so he was supported on one elbow, facing you. "Nah, nevermind, all right, so, back to the game - "

"No, wait, say what you're thinking," you encouraged softly. "Know I hate you doin' that."

"Yeah, you get all anxious," he nodded. "I don't want t'be too forward, all right? But... You know, we sleep together at Oxford. I-In the dorms, you know?"

"Yeah, and?"

"Just thought, maybe you'd wanna stay here? With me? If you want, won't make yah, sweetheart, just thought... You know, in a house this big, you wouldn't get so lost stayin' here... Maybe?"

"Oh, aren't you my hero?"

"I know, I know, I'm just tryna look out for you, my li'l lost love. And, you know, prevent you from finding our secret dungeon," he gasped comically.

"That's not even a joke 'cause I'd believe it in a place like this. Is it a dungeon for torture or sex?"

"Wouldn't you like to know."

"Maybe I'd like to see it. Hm," you considered, "maybe I should stay here, you know - so you can show me around and go get me water when I need it. Save my toes from freezing off, wonderin' 'round here."

He grinned, "Yeah?"

"If it's not too scandalous?"

"'S not like anyone would care... Except me, you know? I'd... I'd like you to stay here. Like havin' you close, sweetheart."

"Well, maybe you could put some clothes on? You're terribly fucking distracting! I'm here to win a card game, and I'll be damned if you win 'cause your abs are... You know, staring right at me, you cheater," you grinned, turning to face him fully with your legs crossed, the space in the sheets open for your cards.

"I think you like me naked," he grinned. "I mean, you stared long enough."

"I was just caught off guard!"

"Oh, I'm sure," his grin turned wicked. "You're still staring, doll."

"Well, it's not as if you're quick to cover yourself!"

"You're not too quick t'look away, either!"

"I was - "

"Caught off guard, yeah, you've said," he chuckled, staring at you with those moony brown eyes that made you feel as if you were the only girl he's ever seen. "Maybe I liked you lookin'."

"Is that so?"

He nodded slightly, "Yeah, not such a bad thing. You're kinda the only one I want lookin' at me like that, anyway."

"You absolute cheesehead!" Your laughter was quiet, trying not to tip Duncan off to your antics.

"You know, they're not just for lookin'," he perked his pierced brow at you. "Feel free to touch whenever you want, too."

"Hm, always knew you were a slut."

He gasped dramatically. "Is that anyway to talk to your host? Especially after giving you refuge from the big, scary, confusing halls?" Your eyes rolled and reached out to pushed his forehead, making him rock back into the pillows and headboard - but he was quick to snatch your wrist as he fell. You were yanked across the slim space, pulled so you were directly resting onto his chest; forearms bracing against his pectorals. He grinned, caressing the back of your head, teasing, "'Ello, love."

"You're a fucking fiend."

"And you're so fucking beautiful."

"I'm already stayin' here, Fi, you don't have to lay it on so thick."

He hummed, "You know... If you were mine, you'd get this treatment all the time. I can't stop - you're just so easy to compliment."

Feeling bold, perhaps from being so close and him being nearly naked, you whispered, "Then maybe you should stop shuffling your feet, grow a pair, and ask me already."

He paused, the moment turning soft as you relax against his body; stretched out the length of him, but still remaining propped on his chest to look down at his sweet face.

"Was a bit afraid to, actually, love."

"Why?"

"Haven't felt like this with anyone," he admitted, "'s just so fuckin' easy with you. Organic, authentic, safe... I was afraid to ruin that, destroy the rapport and friendship we've established. I care about you so much, I just wanted you in my life - no matter what variation that was. Being just my friend, being my girl, just want you with me. Didn't want to jeopardize anything."

"Hm," you considered, nodding slowly, "I get that. Think I felt something similar..."

"So, what do we do?"

"I think we be adults about this," you offered. "If you just want to be friends, we'll stay friends, Fi, but we don't blur lines like we have been. And if you want to give this - us - a try, I think we could. 'Cause you're you, and I'm me, and if things don't work out, we can just go back. Right? Adults do that sorta thing, don't they?"

"Not entirely sure, don't feel like an adult most days," he breathed, petting his fingertips down your cheek. "But I know I want this, with you. I swear, since you came into my life, I've felt - " He paused, shaking his head with a growing smile, "Free? Elated? Light as air?"

"Mhm, I know the feeling," you repeated.

"We doin' this?"

"That's up to you."

"I think it's up to us, actually - "

"I mean, you've gotta ask, Fi, not just assume."

"If you reject me in my own house, in my own bed, doll, I'm gonna be fucking crushed!"

"Oh, my God, just ask me! You fucking knobhead!" You laughed, leaning your head on his chest. His other arm moved behind his head to keep it propped up, looking at you with so much adoration, it knotted your stomach. The hand that had been in your hair drifted down to keep a secure hold on your waist; fingers scratching in soothing motions.

"Wanna be my girl?"

"Hmm, I think you could phrase it better."

He grinned brightly, "Would you be my girlfriend?"

"Oh, that's a little too formal. Maybe try - "

"Oh, c'mere, you," he growled, swiftly using both arms to seize under your arms and literally drag you up his body. "C'mon, baby," he whispered, lips ghosting yours, "be my baby."

"Fuck, no, that's way too cheesy!"

"I thought you liked me cheesy?" He gaped, your hand petting his cheek now; shoulders straining to keep you upright, over him.

"Correction, I love you cheesy," you whispered, lowering your head to press a quick kiss to his lips. He hummed in relief, but you pulled back to promise, "I'd love to be your girl, Fi. Only took you the whole bloody school year, didn't it?"

"Hey, good things to those who wait, right?"

"Don't quote Professor Mercy at me when we're in bed with barely anything on, Jesus fucking Christ," you grumbled, unable to restrain your grin when he pulled you in for another kiss - but this time, stealing the breath right out of your lungs.

Maybe getting lost in Saltburn was more beneficial than you originally thought, and maybe Professor Mercy and ages of philosophy was right because this felt like the absolute best thing, and you'd wait a hundred lifetimes if it meant having Felix in your arms - like he was now, kissing you like it was his lifeline.

How extraordinarily warm, you felt, to be lost in this world, in this extraordinary home, and found, by Felix fucking Catton.

requesting rules and masterlist

Saltburn masterlist

[sp-ud]

And while I'm on my Mouthwashing analysis arc, I had some realizations about how I think Daisuke's character plays into the message Mouthwashing is trying to tell about the cycle of rape culture, inaction, and how workplace environments are a key part of why the cycle is in place.

So my realization started with me complaining about how people often go "If Daisuke had known what happened to Anya he would have-" because we don't truly know what he would have done. Then I realized, actually maybe that's the point of Daisuke in Mouthwashing.

What I mean by that is he's the youngest of the crew, not only that but he literally has no other real job experience. He's incredibly new to all of this, he doesn't know the culture and is looking at those around him, his superiors, for direction and guidance. He's a young adult who still has starry eyes and is trying his best to live up to the expectations everyone around him has even though he feels personally directionless and unsure where he wants to go in life.

Things I think a lot of Mouthwashing's audience can relate to those aspects of Daisuke, or at least significant parts of him. And I think that is the key to understanding Daisuke's purpose in a story like Mouthwashing, to be someone likeable that the audience can see themselves reflected in.

Bringing this back to how I think this plays into the message of Mouthwashing. I think the fact that we ultimately don't know what Daisuke would do if he learned that Jimmy raped Anya is important.

Because we can't 100% say that he would do anything. Because his actions within the story honestly indicate it could go either way in my opinion. Specifically what he does when Anya has locked herself in the medical room.

On one hand, we have the fact that despite him having a better relationship with Swansea and being unsure if drugging him is okay or not, he still goes with it as it's what Jimmy, the current acting captain, is saying to do. He questions it but he doesn't protest or take a different action. He deferred to the highest authority in the situation, even though he wasn't sure if it was the right thing to do, even though it involved tricking his mentor who he clearly looks up to more than he does Jimmy.

But on the other hand, we also see him directly going against what Swansea told him about not going near that vent because he could get hurt, for Anya's sake. Willing to ignore what he was instructed to do just to have a chance at saving Anya. And even after he was hurt he still kept going, he still pulled himself up and unlocked the door.

So, if Anya had told him, what would he have done? Would he have risked his own standing and possibly even his safety with the higher authority figures for her sake? For doing what's right? Or would he be scared? Perhaps see the others inaction and follow their example even if he felt it wasn't the right thing to do?

What would you have done? What will you do if a co-worker/friend confides in you that someone else you know, perhaps even a higher up, sexually assaulted them?

And that's why even though what prompted me thinking about Daisuke's role was me being annoyed at people who focus on "What Daisuke would have done if knew?", I now see it differently. As people reflecting what they hope they'd do if in a similar situation on to Daisuke, and I think that's the point of his character in Mouthwashing and why we aren't given an indication of a clear answer.

To have us acknowledge that no, in reality, it can be hard to do what's right. That sometimes we will play into these toxic and harmful cultures even if we know it's wrong. And sometimes we might do it without even realizing it.

But that doesn't make anyone a bad person. Because we do want to do what's right, we don't want to be compliant in this cycle anymore. And acknowledging that it will be hard isn't saying that we shouldn't even try, it's just acknowledging that it'll be hard.

Daisuke represents the hope that things can improve while not ignoring the uncertainty many people have if it's even possible for things to get better.

[not-magdi]

"Be my Valentine?"

Warnings: none :)

Summary: Lando surprises you on Valentine's Day.

Word Count: 1k

Reading Time: 4min 12sec

A/N

I am so sorry for not updating again, but life has been really stressful lately. I sadly can't promise you that it is going to be better a school is about to start again but I'll try.

Love y'all Magdi <3

February 13th, tomorrow is Valentine's Day, and you just ended a call with Lando, who was currently in Barcelona testing the new car. When he first told you he would be away for the 14th, disappointment and sadness were the only emotions you felt.   

Valentine's has been your favourite holiday since you were a little girl. It didn't matter if you had somebody or not. The pink hearts everywhere, the smell of roses in the air, and people all around being in love made it so special for you. 

And for two years, you got to spend Valentine's with the love of your life, Lando Norris. Although every day was special with Lando, he always made extra efforts for the 14th, such as preparing breakfast in bed, presenting flowers in a rainbow of colours, and gifting sparkling jewellery.

So, him not being here home with you this year crushed your spirits for tomorrow completely. Lando felt incredibly bad when he found out when the tests were, but nothing prepared him for how the spark in your eyes disappeared when he told you. 

Guilt was eating him up the entire trip to Barcelona. Even Oscar noticed and asked what was up. 

------

After you hung up with Lando, you decided to cuddle yourself up on your couch and do some self-care while watching some nineties rom-com. 

You knew it wasn't Lando's fault he didn't have a say in when the testing was going to be, but you were still really disappointed he couldn't be with you. 

------

Your stiff back and sore neck were the result of you falling asleep on the couch yesterday. The TV was still running when you decided to get up and make yourself breakfast. 

The second you unlock your phone, you are bombarded with posts of couples enjoying Valentine's Day together.  

Letting out an annoyed huff, you throw your phone on the couch and decide to take a shower, wanting to escape all that valentines crap for a bit. 

Afterwards, you felt way more refreshed and optimistic for the day. So you decided to throw on some of your favourite jeans and your most flattering top and head outside to the centre of Monaco. 

------

You spend your whole day wandering through Monaco, strolling through a few shops and taking a few breaks in some cafes. And even though you were still a bit mad at Lando, an addition to Lando's Valentine's present made its way into your bag. 

Your mood improved gradually throughout the day, but not hearing anything from Lando made it hard to stay positive. You texted him, "goodmorning ❤️" to show him you were not ignoring or mad at him. 

He reacted to your message, but it has been complete silence since then. You thought that maybe he was too busy, as he told you that today would be the media day, but not hearing anything from him hurt you were not going to lie.

------

And you were indeed correct in your assumption. Lando was incredibly busy today but not giving interviews and making content. No, he tried to convince Zak to let him fly home earlier today so he could spend some more time with you. 

"Oh, come on. Please Zak, I'm done with all my stuff, for what do you even need me here?" Lando begged his boss, quite desperate to let him fly home. 

Zak looked at him with a slightly tired expression. "Do you really have to fly home. I mean it's just Valentine's day."

Lando tried to put on his best puppy dog eyes. "It's really important for Y/N. I can't do that to her." 

That seemed to do the trick, as Lando is currently on a plane home to Monaco. He spent the whole flight on his phone, trying to make the time go by faster. A smile made its way onto his face when he saw you posted a photo of you sitting in one of your favourite cafes, enjoying the sun.

He felt so incredibly guilty after your call yesterday, already forming a plan for how he can make it up to you.

------

The second he touched the ground again, he immediately rushed to your favourite florist to get you the biggest bouquet of sunflowers he could find. 

The friendly old lady who runs the shop smiles as she sees Lando entering. You also visited her today, telling her your dilemma while buying a bouquet of pink tulips. 

So seeing Lando buying your favourite flowers made her happy for you, knowing you weren't spending the day alone anymore. 

------

You just came home from your trip, putting the flowers you bought in a vase and starting to make yourself some dinner. 

You were about to start eating when you heard the doorbell ring. Confused, you make your way to the front door. Looking through your peephole, you rip the door open in excitement.  

You couldn't believe your eyes when you saw your boyfriend standing before you. Well, you could barely see him between all those sunflowers. But what you could see. Was his adorable smile while he held a pink sign saying, "Be my valentine?" 

Rushing over to him, you tackled him in the biggest teddybear-hug, burying your face in his neck. 

"Hi baby." Kissing your head, Lando wraps one arm around you, squeezing you tight. 

"How-when, why are you here?" 

Chuckling slightly at your confusion, Lando answers, "Well I couldn't leave my girl alone on Valentine's now, can I? Besides, Zak couldn't withstand my puppy-dog-eyes." 

Laughing, you tilt your head, giving Lando a loving kiss while murmuring a sincere "I love you" against his lips.

"Mhm, I love you too, baby."  

------

After standing in your hallway like two teenagers, you ushered Lando inside, not letting go of his hand, wanting to have him near you all the time.  

You were now cuddling on the couch, your wrist decorated with a new bracelet, a sparkling "L" adorning its front. 

Lando broke the comfortable silence you two were basking in, "You didn't answer my question from earlier." 

You look up at him, confused. "What do you mean?" 

Wrapping his arms tighter around you, he says, "Will you be my Valentine?" 

Laughing, you take his face to kiss him, "Yes, Lando, I'd love to be your Valentine." 

------

Don't forget to leave a note if you enjoyed it, feedback is always welcome !!❤️

[d34dg1rl5]

Saviour

Opening your eyes you take in your surroundings. You're in Ormond. Quickly you decide to look for a totem since you're running Inner Strength.

After some while of running sround you finally find a totem in the corner of the killer shack. But you weren't alone. Mikaela also just arrived at the shack and started to work on the totem, she probably runs a Boon perk.

"Uhm, Mikaela... Could I maybe have this totem? I have Inner Strength, I could-" She glances at you and grunts. "Why don't you go find another totem?" You tilt your head. She never has been so mean, but maybe she had a bad day. You nod. "Yeah true..." You sigh and decide to work on a gen for now, you're sure you'll find another totem somewhere else on the map.

Just as you work on the gen, Jake rushes towards your gen - he's injured. Quickly you get up and try to heal him, but he backs away. "Don't touch me, I don't need your help!" You raise an eyebrow. "But. You're injured?" He starts to work on the gen and continues to groan in pain. You decide to also continue working on the machine. "Jake, I really hate to bug you, but you really should-" "Shut the fuck up and leave me alone!"

Quietly you let go of the issue and shake your head. What's up with him? Did he also have a bad day? A bad trial? More than one bad trial? Well, you didn't want to push any further... The gen is repaired and Jake takes off, leaving you behind, confused and thinking.

After some time you see a totem behind some crates and you quickly destroy it, unlocking Inner Strength. Well, at least something positive!

After some while the killer had downed it's first victim - Jake. You didn't feel to bad... He didn't want to get healed after all! Soon after Jake got hooked another scream erupted from within Ormond. Mikaela also met her demise. She also got hooked. You didn't meet the fourth survivor yet. Let's just hope they didn't have a bad day aswell...

Just as you were thinking that you run into said survivor. It was David. With a thud you fell on your butt. "Oh David! I'm sorry, I didn't see you-" "Quit the bullshit! Everybody knows you're working with the killer!" Your eyes went wide. "What? What are you talking about? I never worked together with any killer!" How could he say that?? What did he mean by 'everyone'??

He pushed you out of the way and makes his way over to the hooked survivors. You look after him as you could feel hot tears starting to run down your cheeks. "What the fuck..."

You trot over the map. Mikaela and Jake had been saved a while ago but you had lost your fighting spirit for this trial already. And you didn't meet the killer yet.

Let's analyze this! You were friends with some of the nicer killers like Susie, Rin, Anna, Carmina, Trickster and even Danny.

Susie is a nice girl, always listening to you and talking to you about all kinds of stuff. Like the rest of the Legion she is always down for the weirdest shenanigans.

Anna is a big woman, her hugs are almost bone crushing yet she always takes care of you outside of the trials telling you different russian fairy tales.

Even though you were friends with Rin, she is more reserved than Susie or Anna. You love to style her hair and learn more about japanese culture. But most of the time she rather wants to be alone than have any company. In all honesty she is ashamed of how she looks. Poor girl...

Carmina is a nice company. Sometimes you chill in her realm, watching her feeding the crows and paint new pictures. One time she surprised you with a picture of you she drew. You liked it alot and she was happy, letting out a proud croak.

Trickster. A hard case. Yes, you were some kind of friends with him. He LOVES talking about himself, his incredible shows, his murders and everything involving him in general. This man is in love with himself and sometimes it's annoying as fuck but you stick around because you're the only survivor he still kind of tolerates.

And the last person - Danny. Infamously known as Ghostface. He is really something. A deadly and quiet stalker, always there when you need him. He also is narcissistic but not as much as Trickster. He likes to talk about the murders he commited when he wasn't in the entitys world. You couldn't see his face but everytime he talked about this topic you could swear he has a big ass smile plastered on his face. And to admit this you kind of have a weakness for the masked stalker.

Looking around you decide to go for the gen in Ormond. Someone has already started to work on it but the killer has destroyed it. Just as you sit down Mikaela comes running towards you and groans in pain. "Heal me!" You get up and look at her. "You could ask me nicely instead..." Not waiting for her answer you still start to patch her up as she backs away and pushes you back, running out of the house.

You gasp as you fall against a hard thing. Immediately an arm wraps around your neck. "Hey doll... What's up? Didn't see you all trial, it was about time, don't you say?" Danny. Of course. Why didn't you notice that sooner...

"Please hook me. I want this trial to be over." He huffs. "You're no fun." He removes his arm and puts a hand onto his hip, making him look a little bit like a Karen. "Hm... I'll get back to you."

After some time Danny downed Jake, Mikaela and David, having them laying on the floor. You were still working on the gen in Ormond, not able to concetrate. The gen had blown up many times even though you were REALLY trying to make it work. Maybe todays events just got to your head...

Danny comes back and grabs your arm. Without questioning him you follow and see your fellow survivors laying on the ground, whincing in pain losing a lot of blood. David looks up to you. "(Y/n)! Heal- I fucking knew it... You're working with the killer! I fucking knew it!!" Mikaela and Jake look at you with looks of disapproval, annoyance and hate. All mixed feelings, but not good ones.

Danny grins and kneels down in front of David. "Heh.. I'll be right back." He brings Jake to the hook and then Mikaela. They get sacrificed immediately. Like promised, Danny comes back. You were still standing there, not knowing what to do. You WANTED to heal David, but after him being an asshole and just treating you like shit you were starting to question things.

Danny chuckles and hands you his knife. "Now (Y/n)... Why don't you show David what you think about his mean mean behaviour earlier? I think he needs to be punished..." He puts his head on your shoulder. "C'mon... Make me proud..."

You look at Danny and grab the knife tightly in your hand kneeling down in front of David. "David...", you start. David huffs. "You're a fucking traitor... You're the reason we always lose when we're teamed up with you... Sometimes I wish you were fucking dead. Forever."

Those words hurt. Like someone plunging multiple needles in your heart. David was always a guy who loved to brag about his fights but he was there when needed in trials. But now. You despise him. You really do.

You look at the knife in your hand, knuckles white from gripping the knife so hard. David grins. "You're weak... I knew you-" Before the brit could finish his sentence you plunged the knife in his neck, making him bleed even more. He gurgles for a few seconds before closing his eyes. Now he was really dead. Not sacrificed and not mori'd... At least not by a killer.

You slowly get up and look at your now bloody hands. From behind you you could hear slow claps. Slow claps. Just like a villain in a superhero movie. You turn around.

"Damn... I really didn't think you would be able to do that... Yet you proofed me wrong. Interesting..." He smiled and takes the knife from you, cleaning it from Davids blood. Danny sighs. "Saw how they treated you earlier... I couldn't let that go 'unseen'." He sits down on one of the benches, manspreading. Quickly he pats his thigh. Not even knowing what you're doing you sit down on his thigh and let your head fall against his shoulder.

"I didn't even see you.." Danny nods. "Of course. I am Ghostface, I am a master at staying hidden." He sighs and puts his hand on your head soothingly caressing your hair.

"I didn't think survivors could be like this... Y'all are supposed to stick together when a killer is trying to. Well kill you." You sigh audibly. "I was confused and then I thought they were referring to my friendships with some of the killers including you... I didn't even know you were the killer until Mikaela pushed me into you."

"Yeah, what a move."

The wind is blowing and you shiver. Danny notices this and holds you closer to him. "Cold, are we?" He move his free hand to his mask and. Removes it?! You have never seen Danny without his mask and he looks really pretty... You look at him.

"You must trust me a lot to remove your mask..." He smiles a cheeky smile. "Think whatever you want about this. You should get the hatch as a little reward. For killing David and basically doing the dirty work for me." You just nod and get off his thigh. He grabs his mask but isn't putting it on just yet.

After a while of looking for the hatch you finally find it in the killer shack. "I'll see you around. If you want it or not."

With that he pushes you into the hatch grinning. Just before you get engulfed in the black fog, you see him putting his mask back on.

What will the others think?

[chaoticace2005]

Adding onto the last post:

TADC characters playing Sims

Kinger: Left screen unpaused. God is now dead and the world is on fire. Or conversely the sims all gained sentience and were incredibly successful.

Jax: Put them through all horrors. Definitely tested all the different ways they can die at some point. Locked sims in pools/rooms without exits when they annoyed him. Downloaded the violent mod.

Gangle: Spends way too long in character design and then a long amount of time in world design. Actual gameplay takes up 5% of her time because she’ll keep finding things to adjust.

Zooble: Doesn’t give a shit about character design, probably starts a world, gets bored, and starts a new world. Probably makes worlds with people they hate in them to torture them.

Ragatha: Emotionally connected to her sims, been playing the same world for a year. Has an album on their device dedicated to screenshots and photos.

Pomni: A thesaurus for cheat codes. Was confused at first but quickly became a master. Just trying to get all the achievements and unlock stuff. Never actually feeds their sims, just keeps their hunger maxed out because she does NOT have the patience for that shit.

[rusted-fairy-wings]

Ninjago, Kai, and the Subversion of the Chosen One Trope: an analysis

So, I have a lot of thoughts and feelings about Kai's genuinely incredible character arc and how the show subverts the chosen one trope through him. Here's my analysis :)

(Warning: Long)

In the pilots, Kai is completely disinterested in the idea of becoming a ninja/hero. All he wants is his normal life with his sister; he only pursues becoming a ninja after Nya's kidnapping. There's a sense that a huge aspect of Kai---the part of him that loves adrenaline, that wants to fight, that is ambitious to a fault---lays dormant.

Contrast that to season 1 where there's been enough time passed for Kai to cement himself as part of the original team (Kai, Zane, Jay, Cole). After Kai discovers the Green Ninja Prophecy, Kai's ambitious, selfish side rears its head as he becomes convinced he deserves the chosen one title. Granted, all of the original boys react similarly; they all think it should be them. However, the primary focus is on Kai, and watching it gives the impression that Kai is especially desperate for the title.

Already we have these contrasting images of Kai between season1 and the pilots. He's gone from zero interest in being a ninja to developing an obsession with being the chosen one. This obsession develops into a sense of desperation within Kai, a desperation to prove his worth. Kai suggests "contests" like the one to discover Samurai X's identity that will "prove" who deserves the title; it becomes his only focus in the show.

Furthermore, we see the True Potential arcs which heavily emphasize Kai's reckless desperation. Kai watches as the rest of the team one by one reaches their True Potential. They discover and/or remedy inner turmoil, becoming more in tune with themselves and growing as people, allowing them to more fully use their powers. As these arcs come up, it's worth noting every single ninja but Kai seems to have dropped their heavy interest in being the green ninja. Kai grows frustrated because in his mind, his not reaching his potential yet threatens his belief that he is the green ninja.

Note I haven't mentioned Lloyd until now. Let's backtrack a bit to talk about Kai and Lloyd.

At the start of the show, Kai sees Lloyd as nothing but an annoying, bratty nuisance. However, as time progresses, Kai gains new perspective on Lloyd, especially after the team takes him in. Begrudgingly, Kai begins to see Lloyd less and less as the annoying son of Garmadon and more as a younger brother he holds a lot of care for. At first he hates whenever he's stuck with Lloyd, but as the show progresses we see that annoyance begin to be replaced with affection.

Now, flash forward to episode 10 "The Green Ninja." Kai's frustration at not reaching his potential is on full display. Kai is even caught by the other ninja trying on the green ninja gi, further showcasing Kai's conviction in his belief that he is the chosen one even though the others have moved on. Further trying to prove he is the green ninja, Kai picks a fight with Garmadon (who has teamed up to rescue a kidnapped Lloyd), trying to unlock his true potential and show he's the one destined to defeat the dark lord. When they arrive at the Fire Temple to get the fangblade + Lloyd, Kai is the one who draws his golden weapon despite the instability of the volcano and Wu's warnings. He's desperate and ambitious, and that puts every single character present at risk; his desperation literally causes a volcanic eruption.

Then it's just Lloyd and Kai trapped in the erupting volcano with Lloyd and the fangblade both at risk, forcing Kai to choose. But it isn't as simple as choosing between Lloyd and the weapon. Symbolically, the fangblade represents Kai's ambition, his perceived destiny; to Kai, getting it proves that he is the chosen one. Put simply, Kai is forced to choose between the perceived chosen one and the real one. And it is in this moment Kai has his epiphany and finally sees the error in his ways. He realizes that this entire season, everything has circled back to Lloyd: stopping him, taking him in, caring for him, and ultimately saving him. This causes Kai to understand his true role in the prophecy as master of fire--being Lloyd's protector. Kai unlocks his True Potential, finally understanding himself and being the one to realize Lloyd's destiny.

This isn't a choice I personally see a lot of media making. We see a main character (Kai) struggle and fight and overcome his flaws in pursuit of a predetermined destiny only to discover it was never his destiny at all. All of his struggles and growth don't lead to him fulfilling his dreams of being chosen; he doesn't finally reach the point where he's worthy of the green ninja title. The green ninja reveal isn't a triumphant moment where Kai finally gets what he's been fighting for. Instead, it's a moment of tragedy, a moment where a scared child discovers he will have to be in a life or death battle with his father who he once aspired to be just like, who he loves more than anything. Kai's arc ultimately leads to acceptance of his true role and determination to protect Lloyd.

Even though Kai's arc has closed off in a sense at this point, the show further reinforces it as it progresses. In the season 2 finale, when it's just Kai and Lloyd left, Kai sends Lloyd to face his father/the Overlord without hesitation. He recognizes his duty is to protect Lloyd and does precisely that... he stays back to fight so that Lloyd may move forward and do what has been foretold.

In season 4, Chen tries to tempt Kai, tries to persuade him to his side, preys on Kai's old insecurities surrounding being the Green Ninja. Although it seems at first Chen was successful, it is revealed that Kai was working as a double agent, never intending to join Chen and never being tempted by the power offered to him. The only time he wavers in his character growth is when Chen's staff's power tries to overtake him, something out of his control. When of sound mind, Kai refuses to be tempted and is unwavering in his resolve to protect Lloyd and be satisfied to his true destiny.

Again and again, after Kai initially realized the path his ambition and desperation was leading him down, after Kai understood the truth about himself and accepted it, Kai makes the right choice. His character growth is cemented, and without fail, he does everything he can to protect his team and protect Lloyd. He finds peace and acceptance in his own destiny, even if it's not the one he envisioned for himself.

TLDR: Kai's desperation to be the green ninja turn him reckless and obsessed. Ninjago subverts the chosen one trope by not having our lead character earn the green ninja title by the end of his struggles, instead accepting his fate. As the show continues, Kai stands firm in his growth and acceptance.

[allmannerofmalady]

In continuation of my clownery, I started a new DATV playthrough because my beloved Inquisitor looked so jarring I had to remake her and replay like 20 hours of the game. But hey, I made peace with the fact that I am playing DATV to wrap up Inquisition and get an ending scene at this point, I'm not currently foreseeing a second playthrough, so I gotta do it right, y'know?

Spoilers, and me complaining at extreme length, yet again, about my own personal expectations vs reality into the void. Please ignore if DATV negativity is something you prefer to stay away from, protect your peace & what you enjoy.

So I replay HOURS. I'm having fun killing everything as fast as I can - I don't know what it is about playing as a rogue in this game that has tickled my ADHD brain so much, but I'm surprisingly really good at the arrow bonanza and relentless enemy aggro?! This turn based bitch? I digress.

I see my bb Inquisitor Lavellan - she still doesn't look like herself, but I can live with it. She got some ill-advised fillers in Tevinter, she's been through a lot, let her LIVE.

This time around my strategy is pure lore hunting. I'm getting every codex, I'm SQUEEZING this playthrough for whatever lore/easter eggs I can get because idk if I'm going to play again. I got all of Solas' murals early on, got Mythal's essence before Weisshaupt even, I think. BUT WAIT! I have one more treat! The locked room in the Lighthouse! Solas' study! There must be something juicy for all the effort, right? RIGHT? :'D

I know it's been beaten to death, but PERSONALLY, the game still feels incredibly flat to me, jarringly so. If I'm in the Dreadwolf's home, I want to snoop. I want Rook to look through his library, his books, his garbage bin. I even remember the devs saying they wanted being in the Lighthouse to feel an old friends house, or something? I could be wrong, my brain is fried. It's not just a Solas thing - I'm playing this game because I'm desperate for info about the characters I love, but as Rook, we are IN Solas' HQ and I want to rip open the floorboards. I'm trying to RP as much as I can RP in this G.

Anyway, I was so thirsty for something more, something deeper than just these lovely environments I cant do much with, and notes on how Solas hoards raisins - so I collected the wisps and did all the things to unlock the second door in the Lighthouse, forever booboo the fool, thinking I would get some juicy content or something. Trying to stay positive.

No. NO. I got some gear, another empty room Rook has no comments on, and fine, some of Solas' observations on the anchor. It does seem to confirm he kept the Inquisitor’s arm aaaand I love him your honour.

Back to backflipping and shooting arrows in the air, and wanting to grab Emmrich by the beautiful lapels to shake him and ask about the Pentaghast family. Where's my WIFE --

On to the Weisshaupt mission, which was actually ridiculously fun to play - until I was told Weisshaupt is gone haha wow great love that at least the Inquisitor & gang are keeping Southern Thedas safe *subtle foreshadowing* 😃🤞 weeee

I was SO MAD at myself for expecting more like the clown that I am, it was something dumb but just annoyed me all over again and got me all… opinionated 🫠

So, I'm mad again. I cannot begin to articulate my feelings about the incredible amount of storylines and lore we've lost with the decisions made in DATV's writing - they've already been written so eloquently by much greater minds than myself. SO I'm just laughing my way through the pain 🤡

People pleaser that I am, I see other creators I've followed and loved for ages defend the game's choices, tell others they lack media literacy, that your criticisms mean you have rose tinted glasses about the previous games - whatever, your opinion can be valid without tearing others down. So, I genuinely thought something was wrong with me for being so hung up on details. But I can't even engage in fan theories anymore because I'm so jaded at this point. When I see new deep dives into lore-based theories on the game, 99% of the time my mind goes "There is no deeper meaning. They just wanted to wrap it up." Why do you think this thing happened? What do you think that thing is hinting? Nothing. And this is coming from someone who played all the games, owns all the novels, art books, World of Thedas I and II, the bloody Inquisitor lamp from the BioWare store LOL, I was primed and ready to engage in these conversations, but I can't. I have nothing to say that won't end in a cynical answer, and maybe that's because I'm also jaded by working in the game-adjacent VFX industry.

The factions are, yet again, fun but shallow, the logic confusing, and lack much of a backstory for Rook (I think Grey Wardens and Mourn Watchers seem to be the best developed from other reviews and playthroughs, I've only played extensively as a Shadow Dragon, to be fair). Why are you a mage in this one faction? Why are you a rogue in another when it doesn't make sense without a story to support it? It's all this beautiful candy floss that melts away the minute I stop and think about it. And then the cynic in me thinks - these are probably vestiges of the live service part of the game that EA was pushing for. I have to slap myself and stop looking for deeper meaning within corporate decisionsssss there is no swimming pool behind that closed door you needed 7 wisps for 😃

I desperately did not want this to be the case. I was hyped. I preordered the game and organized vacation around it, I'm too old and dealing with way too many crappy personal things to just be a hater for the sake of being a hater. Gaming and Dragon Age are my comfort spaces. But for the LIFE of me, I can't imagine playing DATV again once I finish, let alone more times than I can count like the previous games. Or imagine listening to 4 hours of Youtube videos of party banter to analyze, or even imagine how companions would react to certain things because they feel so stiff. Everything is beautiful, but sterile.

I do love Emmrich - I'm enjoying his storyline and romance, it's like the loveliest most whimsical Vincent Price Pixar romance, but still, something is always missing with the characters even as some do grow on me. I can't imagine anything close to just the party banter ALONE between Solas and Iron Bull. Cole. Fenris and Anders. And to be clear - the whole DA was GRITTY and DARK, DAO supremacy - NOT ME. I love all the games but they have always been whimsical and silly, cringey at times, and did not take themselves seriously. I remember doing the quest where Hawke is running around trying to keep Aveline's date with Donnic from going south, cracking up at how ridiculous it was, and just thinking - gods I LOVE this game.

Speaking of romance, while I'm enjoying how sweet the romance with Emmrich is, when I see others complaining about lack of spice... ahem. I still cannot get over the art style when it comes to characters. This is subjective, and a me problem - I still find it jarring. I don't like the proportions, the bloom, how smooth everyone looks. They still mostly look like cartoons to me, with no body hair and the big heads, and I find everyone's hands so distracting because they look like plasticine. I'm ok with no spice between these characters with their current designs lol let me leave it at that. Ok, except for Felassan and Solas, chef's kiss, no notes.

Solas and story elements directly around him still mostly hold the familiar weight, for the most part. I think credit goes to his amazing VA and the strength of what was likely written for his arc from the very start, before the rewrites and dev hell the game went through. I still have opinions, obviously, but even as a ride or die Solavellan I don't like having the Solavellan angle hijack conversations, so I'm not going to go there. If I'm going to criticize stuff I'll do it as a gamer/DA fan first, egg lover and apologist second.

As I reach the end of Act 2, the game continues to makes me feel like I'm stripped of all agency after a lifetime of playing choice-based games. I talk to companions when it allows me to, then they are relegated to set dressing. My conversation choices all feel the same, or don't match what I'm choosing sometimes. The Lighthouse does not feel like the vibrant hub it was sold as. I am on quests I mostly cannot accept or reject. I cannot interact with my surroundings unless it is gameified (light a candle, move a crystal). The companions abilities are all just - platforming? I know I sound hyperbolic, but it's all I can see currently.

I played Persona 5 from end to end, twice. I played FFXVI. I loved both, had no issues with their linear storytelling, and how the game led you to their end points. Those games are not DA, they did not have the expectations you would have from a BioWare title 10 years in the making. You were not lured in by tales of an incredible character creator, teased about what might be coming from previous games, told this was a sequel to an immersive fantasy RPG series in a beloved fantasy world where the defining studio mechanic was CHOICES MATTER, even when they changed a lot of other things from title to title. In P5/FFXVI you were Clive, you were Joker, you were playing out their story. They were not direct sequels to anything. I'm loathe to be seen as a mindless critic who just wants to shit on things, but a part of me does feel emotionally manipulated for $$$. I still resent how much hype was built for the game by maligning the previous ones (we're fixing Inquisition's mistakes!!).

I'm back to my mission of finishing the game I paid for, enjoy what I can, and get my Solavellan ending scene cause I'm down BAD for literally the only ship I have ever shipped🧍🏻‍♀️I appreciate that it was included. But also - wow does it exacerbate what wasn't included for everyone else's choices.

Something I hate is how everyone immediately jumped on the Baldur's Gate 3 comparisons - BG3 was a life changing game for me, but it's not perfect, and the comparisons are not fair. The one thing I will say is that when I first played BG3, despite its issues and the later criticisms of how Larian reacted to pressure from fans, I remember my earliest impression was - it feels good to be respected as a player. I didn't feel the game was talking down to me, and I got SO much for what I paid for (700 hours baybeee). Jaheira and Minsc were included as companions in homage to the previous games. Yes, they did Viconia dirty, nothing is perfect - but for example, Jaheira would tell you about her husband Khalid from the original games, which came out in 1998 and 2000. There was a lot of world building/easter eggs that not everyone was familiar with or even noticed, because not every player played BG1 and 2, or were familiar with DND 5e - but it was included. Drizzt Do’urden was mentioned ffs, they didn’t overthink about who read those books or not. I’m aware of my biases and I may very well be looking through rose tinted glasses, but I did not feel like the information was presented like I was dumb, or "ah they'll never understand this - SCRAP IT". It just feels like it’s there to honour the past and out of love for the world Larian were playing in.

—> edit to say that I do notice and enjoy the codex entries, callbacks to Tevinter Nights, Masked Empire, the older games. I wish that care and detail was woven into the main story and overall end product and not just background fluff. I know others are satisfied with those additions, wish that were me. I saw a tweet saying that every callback to a previous game or storyline actually pissed them off even more lol, I relate.

I don't feel that respect for the player in DATV, I'm sorry. There is love there, but as hard as I try, it feels like it's there despite of the overall design of the game, not part of it. I keep remembering interviews before the game was released and things that were promised, and I don't see it. At all. No more meaningless fetch quests!! Most companion-focused game! The quests are largely boring or formulaic, but addictive and fun because they are so packed with mindless combat that my brain enjoys. Sometimes it feels like filler - we didn't know what to add here, FIGHT! You unlocked a poignantly named gate in the Crossroads? NO STORY MORE FIGHT! And I'm eating it up, let me not be a hypocrite, I have 80 hours in the game. But personally, it feels designed to pad out this beautiful, sometimes fun, but bitterly shallow game. I can't even go into companion specifics because I have nothing to say, no story I want to analyze. Some have grown on me, but there is no bite or nuance to the writing that compels me and I have no urge to know more. In the previous DA games I would take the long route wherever I went just to get more banter from my companions, and I was instantly interested in them, even if I disliked them. I've seen the comments, I tried, I don't think it's because "I haven't spent enough time" with the DATV companions.

The level design of long narrow corridors, which do remind me of DA2 and FFXVI, has become so predictable to me that I almost always know exactly where I'm going to find loot. So it becomes this admittedly satisfying run of grabbing and fighting to the end point, getting the dopamine hits of collecting pointless stuff, but not really taking in the environments and enjoying the adventure. The level design is not immersive. These do not feel like real cities or real people, and that was intentional. It feels like “levels”, not a World. No one reacts to a single thing you do. Even in the ultra minimalist style of Zelda BOTW, townspeople would react to things you did. Sometimes I walk up to yet another obvious fight arena where the enemies are just chilling, waiting for me while standing still - almost like they're on shift at a haunted house LOL. I can imagine the Venatori stubbing out a cigarette, "C'mon guys, she's here, showtime". The funny part is this has all been seen before in older games, and it never bothered me. My own expectations and overhype might be to blame, but it feels like a big step back when so many games are stepping forward. Me = clown

I keep going back to my first reaction when the disappointment hit me. It feels like being given Persona 5 Strikers or Hyrule Warriors, and told that it's the sequel to the actual RPG. It's fun, it wears the skin of the thing you like that makes you happy, but stops there.

Other things I shake my fist at

Cheap ass The 6th Sense ass Varric death. Yes, yes, Solas villain arc whatever - it was cheap. Way to honour a multi-game beloved character and the player, even if the time had come for him to die in the story.

No, I cannot find a single redeeming reaction from a companion that makes Varric dying make sense in hindsight, except that they are all made of cardboard. I saw comments saying on a second playthrough it's clear Harding is in mourning - sorry, I don't see it.

So. Dorian, the Inquisitor, Charter, Harding, your party, Maevaris, Isabella, list goes on - not a single one of them asks about Varric or mentions his death? Expresses condolences? Nothing? Cheap. Even if Solas was playing with your mind, doesn't it make the overall characters in the game seem even more wooden and unrealistic to the player? It was not the gotcha they seem to think it is.

When the novelty of the cameos and the emotion associated wore off, they were just flat and felt random. Cassandra should have been there, doing Seeker shit (my WIFE). Ok no cameo? Casual dialogue with Emmrich about having a Nevarran in the Inquisition (or as the Divine?!) Lucanis info dumping about Josephine as an Antivan, Zevran as a Crow, nvm, time for a coffee joke. Merrill, eluvian queen, how is she a nonentity? Habibi Fenris should have been in the Shadow Dragons, spitting on the ground after being approached by Solas to join his uprising (lol what uprising amirite). Ok I'm cooking hire me Bioware 🍳 but at least they can remain untainted by the Isabella Treatment (tm)

This leads into the yeeting of the Keep, world states, choices, and hypocrisy around claiming to want to level the playing field for new players. No, all I can see is - it was treated as a buffet that they picked from as it suited. This is the one disappointment I will never let go of. Facsimile's of beloved character cameos were tossed in, you could not really talk to them outside of what limited dialogue you were allowed. Certain world states are now canon apparently - Dorian being recruited in the Inquisition, Morrigan drinking from the Well etc. You want a reboot and you've committed to tossing the choices and burning down Thedas (literally)? Go down with GLORY! Have all the previous main characters/companions alive. Have them all mentioned, even in passing. A portrait on a wall. Say goodbye to them, get your reboot. Honour what you built your business on. But yeah, Emmrich and Harding get to have their picnic in Fereldan fml bye

The argument of: well, the games are old now, it shouldn't matter. Ah - not too old to capitalize on the IP and DA name? Not too old to use some cameos to lure old players? The argument of - it was too many choices to track. Ok cut them down, but don't go scorched earth? 3 choices, mostly irrelevant to those who don't care about Solas (could never be me), and then literally telling you everything else in the South and Weisshaupt is now razed to the ground. But also the illuminati did everything.

FINALLY - the Inquisition should have been in charge of the hunt for Solas, hill I will die on. Fine, have Rook, but Inquisitor should have been the other protagonist. The people... who knew Solas best and betrayed by him... who were in an organization to save the world... Why did we have that cunty dagger stabbed into the map of Tevinter cliffhanger to have the Inquisitor reduced to a pyjama wearing husk BIOWAAAAAAAARE

It's this stuff that builds up, and makes me think - does this game hate its fanbase and source material that much? I very obviously need to go touch some grass 🤠

I keep engaging with Reddit, Tumblr, Twitter - all to my detriment because it makes me feel like there's something wrong with me for not loving it, all over again. I also desperately have a fic in me I would love to write, an ode to the story in my head from years of loving the world of Thedas, a love letter to my Lavellan and others - but idk what to do with the post-DATV world atp. I just want to get through Act 2/3, get my Solavellan smooch, ignore the ~secret Illuminati ending, and be grateful I'm not a Mass Effect fan so I don't have to go through this again 🐣

[yaut-jaknowit]

Hey Hi! I wasn't the one who asked you for this but it really is amazing!!!

It would really be great if you made a second part, and in case you don't, I still just want you to know that I loved it!!!

https://www.tumblr.com/yaut-jaknowit/743233269339914240/gonna-have-to-fly-in-here-on-the-speed-of-light?source=share

Lost Your Mind Part 2

Pairings: Pel (Male Yautja) x AMAB!Reader

Word Count: 2601

Summary: Time to figure your new life out in a different, robotic life. You learn how your new body work while being able to stay up with Pel, working side by side during hunts.

Author Note: Thank you! I really appreciate all the love. I hope this was a great second part.

Part 1

Masterlist

Ao3

Throughout a week, it has taken you time to relearn how to walk. Your mind was programmed how to with organic limbs yet this robotic body was different. The weight threw you off. The legs were longer, feet slightly bigger. Everything was off from what you originally knew. So, here you are, using a hand on the wall for support.

Pel was nervous to let you roam the halls by your lonesome. It took some time to convince the Yautja that you’ll be okay. It’s just walking. If you fall, its not like it would hurt you. Pain was nonexistent now. You’ve learn a notification will pop up on the side of your vision, telling you you had been damaged in some sort of way. But, there was no pain.

That could be seen as a pro or con in anyone cases. In your second chance of life, you took it as a pro. No more annoying aches or headaches or even when you broke a bone while hunting.

Hunting. Now, Pel says, you could easily keep up with him on his hunts. No more choking for air after running for miles or worrying about your scent alerting to prey. You even moved nearly silently. Then, without a heart or lungs, there was no worry about prey hearing you as well. In this new body, you’ve become the optimal predator. All you need was a guiding hand to relearn everything.

Your mate had help turn off the ability where your processor answered every little question. That had become incredibly annoying. It drove you nearly over the edge into a bout of rage and destroying the ship. All you wanted was your thoughts to be your own. Not some of computer in your mind.

With one foot after another, you relearn how to walk. You took the chance to meander to the cockpit and stopped at the entrance. Pel was in the pilots chair and sat crisscross. His head turned over his shoulder to find you now in the room. The Yautja sat up taller, mandibles clicking happily. Your own face lighting.

“Hello, love,” you wobbled over to him without the support of the wall. Once in reach of his chair, you gripped onto the arm rest. “What’s the plans for today?” A week had only passed but fragments of your memories had resurfaced. Not all of them. But the emotions are what you held onto. The love and adoration you and him felt for each other. And, in a life like this now, you needed every last drop.

The Yautja in question chirped and purred then rubbed his forehead against your shoulder. “Whatever you want, little one,” he replied in a smooth tone and found your gaze. His eyes shone brightly in the dim lights of the ship. You used your free hand to gingerly cup his cheek and hold his head.

A thinking expression pondered over your features. There was still much to unlock between the two of you with your new robotic body. To see its limitations.

You leaned down nuzzled your nose against where his own would lay if he were human. “Why not teach me some basics with weapons? I’d much rather learn from you than the internet. From there, I can choose which one fits my hand the best,” you offered and pulled back to stare into his yellow eyes.

He purred and nodded his large head. Dark tresses swaying with the moment. “That is a wonderful idea, mate!” Pel slipped off of his chair and rounded the furniture to stand at your side. His hands came out to steady you but stopped short. The corners of your lips tweaked into a small smile.

Pel was finally learning that you need to do this on your own. That’s the only way you can be able to grow into the new person you’re designed to be. You can read on his face it’s taken a lot for him relent and allow you space. He’s a lot more open with his feelings, desperate to make you feel safe and comfortable in your home.

“I’ve got this, love. Just give me time, I still haven’t fully figured it out just yet.” You pushed off of the chair and stood up.

Standing is easy. That didn’t require movement. The walking portion was fine. When you tried to figure out how move without falling face first onto the ground… that’s where you struggled. Half of you wanted to turn back on the dictionary portion of your brain. But, you stayed strong. Life’s hard. Clearly since you’re in this position and nearly met their god of death in unfair circumstances.

The dark brown and beige Yautja stayed hovering at your side, hands at the ready. His yellow eyes watched carefully as the two of you made your way towards the weapons room.

Many of his trophies sat out on display here. A show of prowess. Some of them, you knew the two of you hunted together. Slowly the memories returned. The only plausible reason was the trauma of the event hiding them away. But if they were coming back, that’s all that matters.

An array of weapons decorated the only wall lacking trophies. Pel mainly wields a Combistick and bow and arrow for the hunts. That doesn’t mean a hunter shouldn’t be prepared. He has everything else on hand for whatever a hunt may call for.

You stopped to stand in front of the wall. Your eyes raked down each meticulously placed weapon, but nothing called out to you. In your memories, they were still hazy. You couldn’t tell which one you used before. Maybe this was chance to choose anew? To choose something that required more strength. The robotics that formed your body offered more strength than ever before.

Heat washed down your back side as two hand rested on your shoulder. The powerful jaw of your mate settled down on top of your head. “What favors the eye of my mate?” he asks. A soft purrs tumbles out of his throat and spills into the air. You reached for one of his hands on your shoulder and carded your fingers through his own. The two of you holding hands now.

“That, I don’t know. Nothing speaks to me.” An idea comes to mind. “I would love to see you wield each one, show me what they can do,” you suggested and brought his knuckles to your mouth for a kiss. Killing two birds with one stone. Figuring out which one was the best for you and to see your mate in action, flaunting his gorgeous body. Oh, you couldn’t wait for the show.

He let loose a rumble that acknowledge of his pondering. Then, he placed his own mock kiss to your head and stepped around you. “Alright, I shall display their uses.” The way he struts up to the walls was handsome. “I’ll show you the Combistick first. Every Yautja has one in their collection as it’s the first weapon that train with.”

Not only does he have one but three. Since it’s part of his main collection, he must have multiple may one break or if he stupidly loses it. At that point, he should let Cetanu take if he does that. Such a unblooded mistake that would cost him his life in the heat of a hunt.

A collapsed Combistick and pulled down from its hold. A single press of a button unleashes the weapon to the world. For such a weapon to be able to squeeze into a small form then grow like it does was amazing. Your eyes flashed with wonder. Then, the brown Yautja began to twirl it as if it was an extension of his own body. The moves fluent and perfect. The alien may be considered young for his species, but this was his life. The way of his people, his culture.

For the remaining hours of the day, Pel showed what each and every single weapon in his collection could do. It was hard to choose. All of them seemed great. Some better than others. You pondered the entire time, raking over each weapon carefully until two finally came to you.

Tiger claws and claymore. A strange combination to work together with. You would use the claymore as your primary then have the tiger claws as your secondary. Of course, the Combistick would also be part of your weaponry. Not that Pel would allow for you to miss that important part of the training.

Despite your slightly larger stature, Pel takes you to a weaponsmith. One he’s known for a long time.

The town around you is bustling with life. Your hand is entwined with Pel’s as the brown Yautja leads you through the alleyways to stay away from the roaming crowds. With another week and a half of walking under your belt, you’re able to calmly walk about without needing support. Not like you could run and sprint just yet. It’s a start though. A good start.

Though, you won’t be able to train with a weapon yet, Pel wants to get the jump on forging said weapons. It’ll take time for them to be crafted. Hopefully, his goal was by the time Vo completed the job, you would be ready. If not… he would just hide them and gift them to you when you were.

Pel swiftly took you through the back ways and knew the perfect places to slip past the crowds. It wasn’t long before the two of stopped in front of a old, clearly worn building. He takes you inside before the two of you could be swept out into sea.

Warmth washes over your artificial skin, warming the circuits underneath. A bell alerts the occupants to your appearance. Pel’s hand on the small of your back urges you forward towards the counter. He leans against the carefully crafted wood and trills a Yautja call.

“Pel?” a voice calls out from the back of the building. It wasn’t a moment later before an unknown species of alien stepped out. A rag in her hands that wiped off the grim that coated the skin. “Look who it is. Long time, no see. I thought you had perished on me.” She stopped short of the counter and crossed her arms. Four eyes met your optics that swiftly analyzed every inch of her.

“And who is this?” she questioned and scans her steely gaze up and down your robotic form. “He almost looks… human but his skin, it’s metal. Has those pesky humans finally created something worthwhile?” Your eyes narrowed on her bulky form. Despite no only being human physically any more, you took offense to her words.

A hand rested on your shoulder and drew your attention away from her. “Vo, this is my mate.” He says your name, easily rolling off of his tongue. “There was an accident that involved some bad bloods. I couldn’t lose him just yet.”

Her gaze softened. “Oh, I heard about that incident,” she trails off, head bowed down for only a moment before she meets his gaze again. “No one deserves what those scums did to all of those humans. Even if I despise the squishies.” Your tense shoulders relaxed at her words but that only got you thinking more about what happened. Pel wouldn’t say.

The brown Yautja dipped his head, understanding her words. “Yes. With my mate, I couldn’t lose them so quickly after we become permanent mates. So… I had their brain and heart transferred into this new body. It’s been a process.”

She hummed and finally met your optics. “My condolences, human. I am glad you didn’t perish yet. But, you better keep ol’ Pel happy. He deserves it.” You didn’t know whether to be offended or just brush off her comment. If only she knew what memories you’ve unlocked held of your of him. All the things you did together. The love you shared with each other.

“He is. More than anything in the universe,” Pel answers for you and tugs you closer to him. You turn to nuzzled against him. “But, I request your service. For my mate.” His hand rubs up and down the length of your bicep.

The unnamed alien snorts and rests most of her weight on one foot. “Of course you do. You never come back just to talk.” A sigh left her. She picked up a pencil and a sheet of paper. “What is it you’re looking for?”

Pel glanced down at you. “It’s for my mate actually. He wants tiger claws and a claymore. I have one of each myself, but they aren’t designed for his size,” Pel explains and returned his attention to her. You carded your fingers through his own on your arm and laid a kiss on the back of his hand.

A brow was raised at you. “He’s kind of small for a claymore. Think that’s gonna work with him.” From the slight kind she offered you in the beginning, your face dropped into a glared. Pel tightened his hold on your hand to ground you.

“My mate can handle himself well enough. Now, will you do it or not?” His voice hardened in the classic roughness of a Yautja. Gone was the easy, laid back Pel you knew.

Both of her hands raised, pencil and paper in the air now. “Now, reel back on the anger. I ain’t demeaning him or anything. I just stating a fact.” She huffed, blowing a stray strand of hair out of her way. “Alright. A claymore and tiger claws for the human.” She writes this down on the paper.

The two of them got into a deep discussion on the specifics. Most of it went over your head as you glanced around the small lobby of the weaponsmiths. It was homey and quite nice if the owner was being such a dick to you. You couldn’t believe she would say such a think straight to your face in front of your mate. Yet, she has the balls to do so.

When all was said and done, the two of you left the little shop and returned back to the safety of your ship. Once the ramp clicked its lock into place and stopped then crossed your arms. “Well, she was quite rude!” you steamed with a huff.

Your mate stopped and his shoulders sagged, your name falling from his mandibles. “She’s… I knew her father when we were both young. I was there the day she was born, by accident. She’s been around Yautjas her whole life.” He about faced and strolled up to you. His hands cupped your jaw. “Many of my species are rougher than I am. Meaner. Ruder. They take what they want, demanding it. I am considered soft, gullible.”

His words soothed you. You leaned into his touch and closed your eyes. “For now, focus on getting stronger, faster. Then, you’ll be ready for your weapons. To go out hunting at my side once more. We’ll be an unstoppable force. No one would dare with us,” he proclaimed and pressed his mandibles to your cheek in a mock kiss.

“I will, love.” Your eyes slid open. His orbs filled with the love the two of you held for one another. “I’ll be beat you in a sparring match when I do,” you snarked off with a grin plastering to your features.

Pel barks a laugh. Not to demean you but at your attitude he loves. “Oh, I can’t wait for the way, my mate.”

[callsignfate]

Valeria x Chaotic wife pt.5

(Hi, I just wanted to say thank you for all of the likes and attention people give this series! It means a lot because, honestly, I'm new to Tumblr, and I started writing (publicly) for a hobby. Thank you, and don't worry, I have no plans to end this anytime soon. Enjoy!)

Part One/ Part Two/ Part Three/ Part Four/ Part Five

Part Six/ Part Seven/

♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤

R/N: I'm tired.

Valeria: I told you to go to bed last night. You don't NEED to sit on your phone for an hour or more before you go to sleep.

R/N: ...I do it's a part of my process to fall asleep.

Valeria: At least it's not bluey anymore.

R/N before you say it, it's not a kid show. It tackles serious topics.

Valeria: for kids sure.

R/N: You watched it too!

Valeria: And if you ever tell anyone that I will deny it, then never let you leave again.

♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤

Valeria: Do you really need another one? You have like a hundred and I'm pretty sure I've seen that exact one.

R/N holding another squishmallow: This one is different it has a hat!

♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤

Valeria: Did you finish the last five books you bought?

R/N: Sort of...

Valeria: READ THE BOOKS YOU BUY BEFORE YOU GET MORE.

♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤

Valeria: Let's go to- what are you doing?

R/N: What?

Valeria: It is almost midnight and you are drinking an energy drink?!

R/N: They taste good..

Valeria: You are either going to kill yourself or me way younger than I want either of us to die.

R/N: ...Want one?

Valeria: NO I DONT WANT ONE!

♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤

Valeria's men: MA'AM YOUR WIFE SHES STUCK ON THE ROOF

Valeria: I left her with your for 5 minutes! How in god's name did she scale the building and get stuck on the roof IN FIVE MINUTES?!

Valeria's men: We don't know we turned our back for like a second..

Valeria: (cursing under her breath in Spanish as she gets up from her desk to go help you down from the roof)

♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤

Valeria: With the amount of trouble and situations you get yourself in.. I'm genuinely surprised you're alive.

R/N: Oh, me too, I think it's like a super power.

Valeria: I wouldn't call it a superpower, but alright.

♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤

Valeria: Why is there a ton of games downloaded on my computer?

R/N: ...

Valeria: What is wizard 101??

R/N: A game where your a wizard.. and you have to go to different towns and do different things..

Valeria: ...tell me.. do you do these things with the intent to annoy me? Or just do it and think 'no, Valeria won't care if I delete files to download A WIZARD GAME'

R/N: I'll take avoiding this question for 500.

♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤

R/N helping Valeria with paperwork: GOD THIS IS BORING AND DRY. Can't their be some hot woman or man in this?

Valeria: It's finance paperwork not one of your dark kink romance books.. which is starting to make me wonder because some are about Mafia or Cartel leaders...

R/N: Intresesting because (R/N sprints away)

♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤

Valeria: I'm trying to work.

R/N: and I'm trying to annoy you while you work to get you to stop working so we can do something.

Valeria: ...

R/N: Anyways as I was saying, then Edward says 'this is the skin of a killer bella' and honestly it's kinda fun-

Valeria: ALRIGHT WE WILL GO GET SOMETHING TO EAT.

♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤

Valeria: Why are my men saying your doing something stupid?

R/N: That's incredibly rude of them, I'm not doing anything.

Valeria: Then unlock the door and let me in.

R/N: We both know I can't do that.

Valeria: and why's that?

R/N: I tried to see if I could do this trick where you get your handcuffed arms from behind you to infront of you..

Valeria: You handcuffed your arms behind your back again?!

R/N: ...help.

♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤

[dullgecko]

Riz's go-to solution when he's angry is to eat the thing making him mad. This is sometimes funny (several times the bad kids have walked in on him biting the fuck out of his spools of red string because his shaky hands couldn't quite grab them right) and mostly terrifying (Sleepy and grumpy Riz has attempted to eat them on several occasions and it is never fun).

-꒰(˶• ᴗ •˶)꒱

He's tired, he just wants to get this last bit of his board done and his old roll of string JUST ran out. He's been trying to find the end of the new roll for ten fucking minutes but he's so exhusted that he keeps critically failing over and over to the point he's CONVINCED this roll doesnt HAVE an end. He threw it against the wall in frustration, miscalculated, and ended up nailing himself in the head when it bounced back at him. At that point he was just done and the switch flipped in his brain to 'bite the shit out of it' mode right as Gorgug unlocked the door of his office to come check on him.

Riz wouldnt ever attack his friends on purpose but if he's sick his fuse becomes incredibly short, especially if he's also sleep deprived. He's forcing himself to get to all his classes and at the very least collect the work he needs to do before sneaking back out again. He makes it all the way to lunch time, where he spends the entire break with his head on his arms trying to get some rest and rally for the afternoon classes but the cafeteria is LOUD and his friends keep trying to get him to join in on the conversation but he's only giving them one-word answers because he's trying to doze and its annoying him.

He's got a fever, he's a little delerious, and he just wants to be left alone for five minutes but one of them realises he's gone kind of quiet and shakes his shoulder to get his attention and he snaps. Literally. Only realising what he's done when someone yelps and he tastes blood. He doesnt even know who he bit but he definitly bit them hard because he felt bone scrape against his teeth. He let them go pretty fast, slid down under the cafeteria table, and fucking ran. He didnt get particularly far though, only out into the main hallway before he had to stop and crouch to stop himself from being sick both from a combination of actually being ill and the realisation that 'oh crap i think i just torpedoed all my friendships all at once'.

His friends are left in the cafeteria in a state of shock, Fabian has a heavily bleeding wound on his forearm that Kristen is healing, and they're all wondering what the fuck just happened. Gorgug is the one that goes to find Riz, and he does so easily because the goblin isnt even stealthed. He's just sitting kindof dazed in the middle of the hallway and doesnt answer when spoken to. The half-orc just scoops Riz up under the arms, clocks that he's WAY too hot to the touch, and marches him down to the nurses office while holding him at arms length so he's not in the clawing-and-biting zone.

[luvrsux]

“Mon Amour”

word count: 4.7k

summary: you’re a waitress at a local restaurant and, needless to say, not the customers or your coworkers treat you like a lady, but someone completely turns that upside down

contents: fluff, minor swearing

After a long, tiring shift at your painfully stressful job. You worked at a local restaurant, which wasn’t super fancy but quite more on the expensive side. You worked as a waitress. Nonstop, you dealt with snappy elders or stuck up costumers. You hadn’t realized your thin patience until you began working there.

Once the building came to a close, you quickly hung up your apron and exhaled in relief. Slight chatter murmured from behind but non of it mattered. Nothing stopped you from getting in between you and your bed.

“Did you hear? We’re getting a new sous chef!”

The sudden news made your ears twitch. You snapped your head to the two other waitresses that discussed the news.

“Yeah, I heard he’s incredible with cooking!” One gleamed as she finished rustling in her locker. You rose a brow. The news was completely newborn to you.

‘New sous chef?’

The previous one had quit due to the amounts of stress that the restaurant built from it. For a few days, you’d had been without a sous chef which only caused more pressure on the other cooks. The news let out a small relief sigh from your lips. ‘Finally, the chefs can stop screaming at us so much…’

You slammed your locker shut once you gathered your belongings. You prepared to leave the somewhat empty building until a hand firmly gripped your shoulder. You couldn’t help but grumble.

“(F/N), I’d like a request” You turned your head to your boss. You hummed in response and cocked your head to the side.

“I’d like for you to come in early to greet the new chef. You’re one of my senior workers” He ordered. The sudden task didn’t make you angry, more so irritated than anything else. Your boss always had you do those sort of tasks simply because you’ve been working here for a lengthy amount of time.

“Alright, no problem” You breathed. You watched him simply nod and turn the other way. You sparked a small glare once you made eye contact with his back before continuing your path.

You quickly unlocked your vehicle and slammed the door shut. It was a daily routine to sigh, groan, reevaluate the entire course of the day and wallow in self pity. Deep down, you didn’t hate your job, just the people on it. You loved serving people with a smile, you’d just wish people treated you with more respect. Who wouldn’t treat a lady with respect?

As a child, your parents always lectured you how boys should always respect you since you’re the opposite gender. Obviously, you didn’t want to feel weak or incapable due to your gender but you’d like a little respect. You wish someone understood your point of view, but seeing the frequency of harsh words and comments by your costumers, that hope was fizzling out.

You finally pulled out the driveway and trailed down the roads to your apartment. Luckily, the fancy restaurant paid well enough for you to afford a decent apartment in the city. At least the pay was nice.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

You decided it wouldn’t hurt to stop by a local market to stock up on some groceries. Mid way back home, you’d realized you were low on milk, eggs and vegetables. You were annoyed at your own self knowing this would chew away at your precious gas.

You found yourself in the field of many different fruits and vegetables. Slightly overwhelmed, you realized you only needed cabbage and tomatoes. Homemade salads with your special dressing was your favorite.

You found yourself fondling each tomato, wondering if they were ripe and ready or not. You grew frustrated, not exactly knowing which to get. Your hands grew sloppy and eventually one tumbled down on the floor. Your cheeks flared up in embarrassment once you followed the round, red ball bump into a pair of clean, black dress shoes.

“Careful”

He said ever so smoothly. He gently picked up the tomato with ease, one hand tucked in his pocket. His attire was quite formal. A blue button up and slacks. You’d think he would have a blazer but none was there. Just rolled up sleeves.

He eyed the tomato while you eyed his features. He had gorgeous golden locks that acted as a curtain over one his eyes. They practically glistened under the lights above. His eyes were dark but also just as dreamy. His goatee was freshly trimmed and well kept. You came to the assumption that this man took good care of himself. His skin was radiating.

“This tomato is no good” He gently placed the tomato back on the pile. He effortlessly grabbed a nearby tomato and squeezed it tenderly.

“Ah, that ones nice” He smiled. To your surprise, he gently grabbed your palm and placed the ripe tomato in your hands. He stared into your eyes with a charming smile.

“A gorgeous girl like you only deserves the best of the best”

Your cheeks tinted pink. No one ever treated you with upmost respect besides your close friends and loved ones. Never a complete stranger. Your expression of pure embarrassment was from the certainty that you’d get a scolding, but that was completely absent. You curved a smile.

“Thank you…” You spoke in a low tone. It only caused a faint chuckle to escape his lips.

“How you know a tomato is nice and ripe is when it’s supple, not too hard or soft” He explained. His soothing voice never shifting out of tone. He held the hand that held the fruit in your palm.

“And also when there’s absolutely zero green spots left” He continued. He shifted his eyes off the red orb and back to you, a charming grin plastered on his face. You nodded with a sheepish smile.

“Right, thanks” You jerked your hand away from his from pure embarrassment. You let out a faint giggle.

“You’d think that working at a restaurant would’ve made me learn that” You murmured. He chuckled.

“Don’t beat yourself up, sweetheart” That nickname. It melted in your ears like butter. You felt your stomach dance with butterflies.

“Enjoy whatever you’re cooking, beautiful. I’m glad I was some help” He strut passed you, that same grin on his face before he disappeared into a different isle.

His disappearance finally caused you to exhale from the sudden pressure of his flirtatious demeanor. Your cheeks couldn’t stop growing in shades of red that matched your skin tone.

“Crap…” You mumbled. You inhaled deeply, exhaling even deeper. You felt your cheeks slowly relax as soon as your nerves did the same.

As you began checking out your small groceries, the whole interaction couldn’t stop replaying. As you were bagging your ingredients, you caught a small glimpse of him exiting the building, completely empty handed. ‘What was he here for anyway?’ You asked internally.

You finally settled on bagging everything and trotted to your car. Unfortunately, the charming mystery man was gone. It was no surprise, though. He had left long before you did.

As you entered your car and mindlessly drove down the road, tons of questions circulated your brain.

‘Why was he so polite to a stranger?’

…

‘Fuck that, why was he flirting with you?’

‘If only customers were as sweet as him’

‘He helped you with a damn tomato! Who does that?’

The cloudiness of your own head blinded you from realizing you had already arrived home. You sighed and melted in your seat once you pulled into that public driveway.

Clearly, the interaction made your entire day, but the sudden realization that it was probably a first and last thing to ever happen for god knows how long bummed you. He was truly something else…

‘I need some sleep…’ You thought.

‘Crap, what if the new guy is a dick?’

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

Your alarm blared through your eardrums obnoxiously. The sound made your head throb and you couldn’t help but grumble in defeat. The pillow you once laid upon was now laying upon you. Your position made it seem as if you fell off the 10th floor of your apartment complex.

You pat around your bed to find the obnoxious sound. The buzzing on your phone didn’t make the sound anymore pleasurable. Once you finally grabbed your device to shut it up, you flickered your eyes to the time. Your vision was blurry and the sun shot through your pupils like a pistol.

‘10:30…’

Your brain flickered to the conversation your boss pulled you aside back at the restaurant. You remember that he’d want you there earlier so you can introduce the new sous chef. It didn’t take long for you to slam your arm back down on the white sheets and exhale. Needless to say, you weren’t entirely stoked on meeting this new employee.

Your previous sous chef, that cowardly quit out of the blue, was strict and ruder to the chefs more than anything. You assumed the power dynamic got to his head a little too much despite the restaurant not even being worth it for that sort of attitude.

You finally rubbed your eyes together to adjust your vision until you were satisfied. As you rose from the bed, you felt your body sting once the wind smacked your bare skin that was once covered in a cozy comforter.

Your shift didn’t start until 12 PM, but considering you had to arrive earlier, you were forced to clock in at around 11. You only had so much time to get ready, but the thought of rushing to get ready irked you. You spent your last few moments in bed praying that today goes smoothly.

~~~~~

“What do you mean he’s late?”

You were immediately greeted by shouting from your boss to your other coworkers. Sure, not everyone got along the greatest but this early in the day was quite unnecessary you thought. You approached the commotion with a raised brow.

“Morning?” You tried not to curve a smile at the sheer amusement from your bosses scolding.

“Morning, (F/N)…” He exhaled. You averted your eyes to the victim of his roaring voice. It was another fellow chef in the kitchen. It seemed as if he’d been waiting to greet the newbie before you arrived.

“The sous chef is running late, unfortunately” You watched him rub his temple in annoyance. You felt your eyebrows twitch, realizing you woke up earlier than you wanted to for absolutely no reason.

“Great first impression” You murmured before turning on your heels to the locker room. You were ready to just leave and at least grab a coffee since your actual shift didn’t start until another half an hour.

Given your luck, your boss ordered you to do some last minute chores like organize dishes and any tidying up to keep the place presentable. You couldn’t object, but oh how you deeply wished you could throw a V.I.P table out the window.

You grabbed a stack of clean plates that weren’t placed back in its designated place from the previous day. You groaned in annoyance.

‘Does anyone know how to clean in this place or what?’

You thought internally and judged everyone’s cleanliness. The stack of plates were a lot heavier than you thought but nothing serious. It was only a few feet away anyway. As you approached it, you heard the front door chime. You tried to peer through the opening that showed the entire front area of the restaurant but there was nothing but your coworkers broad bodies. They all scrambled to get the place in tip top shape before opening.

You felt your foot stomp on another, followed by a shriek of pain. You immediately jolted and averted your attention to whoever you may have harmed. You cringed.

“Sorry! Sorry!” You exclaimed, trying not to drop the tower of porcelain plates. You powerlessly held them and stared up at the guy that was now wincing in pain.

“Watch it!” He spat. You flinched once he seethed his teeth at you. This was the sort of behavior you were dealing with since day one. Other coworkers began to watch the sprouting tussle.

“You watch it, you can’t see a person carrying a tower of plates?” You reciprocated the same energy he was sliding you. Your arms began to grow tired from mantling the tower of plates.

“You had your stupid head turned! Ever heard of looking where you’re walking?” He towered over you with a menacing glare that pierced through your soul, but you didn’t stop holding your ground.

“Look, I already said sorry. If you wanna be a moron then be my guest” You shoved pasted him to continue your current task that was now straining your arms. It didn’t take long for you to feel a hand yank your shoulder.

The sudden movement caused a plate up top to slip and crash onto the white tiled floor. You immediately felt like crashing every last one of the plates into the prick that kept pinching at your nerves.

“Hey! What the hell did you say to me?” His tone grew sinister. He had a hand firmly grip your shoulder like he was ready to rip it off whole. Despite that, all your attention focused on the shattered plate on the ground.

“Look at me when I’m talking to you-!”

“Get your filthy hands off of her”

His once roaring, menacing attitude dissolved in less than a second once the second voice came in unannounced. The voice soothed your body, similarly like once before. You felt your spine crawl and shiver.

“Who the hell are you?” He shifted his blood thirsty gaze from you to the mystery man behind you. You felt yet another hand rest on the shoulder that was practically getting the circulation cut off of it.

In a blink of an eye, the strong grip fizzled away once the man threw it off with great force, only to be replaced by a more gentle, angelic-like hand. You slowly looked from the arm that rested around your shoulders to the actual culprit.

The long, golden locks. The tall, pale, slender physique. His formal attire. A cigarette placed attractively in between his lips. It was pure luck and coincidence. You couldn’t believe your eyes. He looked down at your body and ever so smoothly slid the tower of plates off of your hands and into his own, finally letting your arms relax. He effortlessly held each and everyone with a single palm.

“How dare you treat a beautiful lady with a disgusting attitude” His flirtatious tone made your heart sing. Finally, someone standing up for you instead of just watching from the sidelines. He had a careless grin on his face.

“Why don’t you make yourself useful and clean this mess” He flickered his eyes to the poor, shattered plate that rested on the floor. Your head turned from the magic man to the more so angrier one.

“You piece of-“

“Ah, I see you met our new sous chef!” Your boss chirped from behind. Your heart thumped. Surely he was joking, or playing a prank. There’s no way this guy was going to be your new employee.

The angrier man shifted from anger to pure embarrassment. Considering by his own uniform attire, he was a chef himself. This made goldy locks his higher up. You caught a glimpse of him snake him an egotistical smirk.

“Chop chop, we’ve got work to do” He sang, turning his body, as well as yours, with him. He waltzed to a nearby table to finally set the plates down. Granted, that wasn’t the correct place they were supposed to reside but it seemed as if he refused to let you continue that task.

“Oh and put these plates away as well, I simply don’t know where they belong”

That same, egotistical grin was still plastered freely on his face. He seemed to grow amused as the guy who once disrespected you turn into his own little pawn in less than a few minutes. He was already making a nice first impression on his very first day. Whispers and murmurs were heard all throughout the kitchen.

You were so caught up at his undoubtedly beautiful attractiveness and the whole ordeal that you hadn’t realized he escorted you out the kitchen. You finally broke out of his grasp and collected yourself. With a clear of your throat and brushing your hands along your body, you projected your voice.

“It’s nice to see you again” You smile. Your cheeks were slightly pink. Seeing his half lidded eyes and gentle smile made it worse. He pulled his cigar out his mouth and puffed out a cloud of smoke.

“The pleasure is all mine, beautiful” He cooed. This man was absolutely shameless and completely smooth with his charm. You wondered if he was already spoken for or not. To your surprise, he grabbed your hand and placed his lips on the top side. He held his cigar in between his fingers with his remaining hand. You felt like you were about to explode.

“Vinsmoke Sanji” He greeted.

That gaze he set upon you from above with those half lidded eyes did something to you. You could’ve sworn you could hear your own heartbeat in your ears. You bashfully giggled.

“(F/N)…” You said quietly. He extended his body, his eyes slightly extending at the voice that spoke your name.

“A beautiful name for a beautiful lady” The charm was beginning to get too much, but you took everything within your core to keep things professional.

You still kept your word, though. You showed him around the entire restaurant and even his new locker. The entire time, he made you smile with just his comforting presence. After he stood up for you, you immediately felt safe around him knowing that he’d finally be the person in this establishment to treat you with respect. He listened to each and every word you had to say. You wondered if he’d even be allowed to continue smoking in the building, but as the day went on he went through three or four cigarettes.

Once the evening crept, which is when the restaurant was at its peak population, orders came compiling up like wildfire. You paced back and fourth from the kitchen and front lobby so much, it made your head spin.

One thing, though, that you noticed was the boost of overwhelming comments. Sure, the restaurant was great, but seeing how many people complimented each dish you wondered if you under estimated the chefs cooking or if a certain chef just turned the entire restaurant on its own head.

Most of the chatter of how amazing the food was, and how some people commented that they’ve never eaten food as amazing as this the previous times they’ve dined here.

“Waitress!” One called out. You felt your neck twitch at the rude call out, but you kept it professional anyway.

“What can I do for you?” You gleamed, a peachy faux smile on your face. The table displayed a rather older couple with two younger people, assuming to be their children.

The man that called you over pointed a finger to the dish.

“This is the best soup Ive ever tasted” He had a grin on his face. You felt puzzled. This is the first time a customer was so pleased that they told you personally.

“I’ve been coming here for years and the soup has never been this good, can I send my thanks to the chef?” You paused for a moment. This was completely foreign.

“Oh- Um” You were so shocked that didn’t know what to do or say. You plastered that infamous false smile once again.

“Of course, I’ll bring him out right away” You smiled and turned your body to speed walk into the kitchen, faster than you ironically have before.

The sudden burst caused everyone to stare at you, waiting for another order. You had a perplexed expression that everyone caught onto.

“Who made the soup for table seven?” You immediately blurted. Everyone assumed that it was a customer complaint. Not wanting to take the blame, everyone pointed their fingers to the golden locked man that was in the middle of adding the finishing garnish of a plate.

“Already a complaint on his first day?” Someone blatantly remarked. You snapped your head to the voice. He looked somewhat scared for the potential argument that’ll spew.

“No, no” You snapped your head back at Sanji, who stood tall and puffed a grey cloud of smoke with his lips.

“They loved it…”

Everyone shifted their eyes from you to the blonde that now had a huge grin. It seemed as if this was completely normal, the wave of praise of his incredible cooking.

“They wanna thank him personally”

With that statement, everyone gasped. They all shared the same shocked reaction meanwhile Sanji was just nonchalant. The snaps of his shoes echoed throughout the kitchen as he approached you at the front doors. He wrapped his arm around your shoulders once again.

“Let’s get this over with”

As you approached the table of the couple and their kin, he looked rather impatient. You saw him flinch when he finally saw you and the chef that was wrapped around you. You could see him have an eyebrow raised. You felt a wave of slight embarrassment seeing as how your coworker flirtatiously had his arm rested around you.

“You sure he’s the chef, lady? He’s not even in uniform” He didn’t even bother saying ‘hello’ or ‘good evening’. His wife looked somewhat embarrassed at his demeanor, making it seem like this was no out of the ordinary.

Sanji replied with a raised brow at his remark, still completely nonchalant and his arm wrapped around you.

“He’s even smoking, who is this guy?” He peered at his now completely ashamed family in front of him. You could tell they told him not to follow through with this.

“I asked for the chef of this dish, lady! Not some-“

“I assure you, I made this dish”

Sanji’s hand slammed on the table in front of the stuck up man. That same hand that was previously on your shoulders. Sanji kept a straight, cold face. The sudden smack that practically imitated the popping sound of a firecracker alerted anyone who was nearby.

“Now, are you going to thank me or what? I have plenty of mouths to feed and don’t need to waste my precious time on someone like you” He hissed. The man choked on his words and just watched in defeat.

“Thank you, sir… The meal was delicious” He tripped on his own words as he spoke, completely intimidated by the blonde. Sanji pulled his hand away and winked at his wife from across. His shift in attitude gave you whiplash.

“Enjoy your meal, mademoiselle” He cooed.

He escorted you out the lobby with the same arm around your shoulders. His entire demeanor completely had you swooned, but that was his secret super power. This lover boy completely had ladies and women superior to his own identity. That was nothing but attractive to you.

The shift finally came to an end. As pure usual, you didn’t hesitate to scramble your things to go back home. The kitchen roared in cheer once they realized the sudden tsunami of positive reviews all caused by Vinsmoke’s exceedingly skilled cooking. He sipped a fine cup of wine in pride. He knew he was good. Hell, he knew he was the best. During the praise and the small party, he kept his eyes solely on you as you were cleaning and tidying.

Sanji was quite the charmer, he swooned over women and ladies whenever he could. Women was seen as a higher pedestal than the opposite gender, therefore should be treated as such. Occasionally, he’d sent flirtatious remarks around the other waitresses like nicknames or compliments, but as he watched you simply enter a different room, he couldn’t shake off this urging feeling. Something about you made you stand out. It was probably the way you stood your ground to the previous chef earlier in the day, or your more down to earth demeanor. Sanji didn’t hesitate to follow through with that “urge”.

You hadn’t noticed that he followed you to the locker room. His presence made you fumble on your combination. After many errors from the pure anxiety, you finally turned to him. He seemed to have watched you with a sly smirk.

“Need help, mon amour?” The fact he could speak French so smoothly and sexily made you hate that you were swooning for him more, and more. The way he said each syllable made your body shiver. You moved aside and let his hands take over the padlock.

You were fully capable of unlocking it, but the sheer amount of nervousness he sprouted from you made you incapable of thinking straight. The blonde was all you could think about ever since he helped with the simple fruit at the market the previous night.

“Sweetheart,” His voice snapped out of your own gaze. He didn’t seem impatient when he had realized you were dozing off. ‘Why was he so perfect?’ You thought. You hummed.

“The code. What is it?” He still has a smooth, soft and patient voice. You smiled out of complete embarrassment.

“Right, sorry…”

Sanji comforted you like a soft cloud. You quietly let him know the combination of each number on your padlock. He unlocked your locker with one try and opened it for you, moving aside to let you grab your belongings.

Sanji watched you as if you were an angel sent from Heaven above as you simply slung your backpack over your shoulder and hugged your jacket to keep you from shivering in the cold weather. You glanced at his gaze.

He turned slowly to puff out another cloud of smoke from his cigarette. The smoke didn’t bother you. You worked at at restaurant after all.

You stared at the wall of your locker and finally gathered your thoughts. You had many questions about the charming blonde, but with the commotion of your occupation and your anxiety, it completely shielded you from saying a word. Now, you broke out of it.

“Why are you so polite?” You blurted out, shutting your locker tight. He hummed. Even his hum was smooth and gentle.

“Today, and even yesterday, all you’ve done with cater and help me” You explained. You averted eye contact.

“Why is that? I mean… we’re strangers”

Sanji paused for a moment. His body rose from the neighboring locker and he flicked off his now shriveled cigar only to crush it with his shoe to burn it out. He finally used his hand to tilt your chin up to his gaze.

“A lady shouldn’t have to go through what you have to” He cooed. All you could do was gulp.

“You’re pure beauty, and ladies like you should be set on a pedestal of respect. From now on, no one will disrespect you while I’m here”

Those words roped around your heart tightly. There was no denying it, you were completely in a trance by his charm. Was he doing this on purpose?

“Say, how about I show you to a real restaurant? One that puts this one to shame, mon ange” He snaked his fingers to interlock yours. Sanji inched his face closer to yours. You could smell his vanilla scent from his collar.

“Are you asking me on a date, sous chef?” You grinned. Your remark caused a chuckle from his lips.

“I’d be my pleasure to take you out to a place you deserve to dine in, darling”

Sanji brushed his lips against yours. You fought everything to not clamp your lips against his but considering you had just met, it was too soon. Vinsmoke knew that.

“I’ll be honored”

After those words escaped your lips, Sanji moved his lips to your cheek and pressed his lips there instead, only to tame the urge as much as he could.

He pulled away, keeping your hand within his.

It was like the gods granted you a good luck charm with how sudden your luck just emerged. You snagged a date with a total gentlemen and handsome guy that just so happened to work at your job. It was something straight out of a book.

“I’ll see you tomorrow night, mademoiselle”

Notes !!

✎ Thank you for reading! A few words I wanna say first before I conclude this post!

Translations:

╰┈➤ Mademoiselle - Ma’am // Madam

╰┈➤ Mon amour - My love

╰┈➤ Mon ange - My angel

✧.

I was thinking of making a second part of this where I write the actual date between the reader and Sanji since this wasn’t as fluff-ish as I intended it to be, so I’ll definitely work on a part two and see if it’s worthy on publishing (๑•̀∀- )و

I’m also working on a Trafalgar Law x Reader series as well (I’m loaded with ideas right now LOL) so hopefully I can begin that in the next few days.

Anyway, that’s all! Stay sweet

Licensing and ownership belong to Eiichiro Oda ✩

[the-way-astray]

HEY so I skim read your new Keefe hate post and I have some thoughts I'd like to share (all good ones!!)

As someone who also wrote a very long essay about [a] fictional character(s) while citing the page number and book word by word, you freaking ACED it. I'm always gonna be impressed when people take the time to cite your source and give a in depth explanation about it

You're lowkey not too wrong about Keefe infantilizing Sophie. For something silly and stupid, like "Iggy ate my mallowmelt!! >:( Now im mad!!" yeah I bet Sophie would seem cute lol. But for when she's genuinely angry and pissed?? Maybe lay off a little bit dude 😭 Like cmon she can murder you with her mind- There are moments where he does talk about how powerful she is though, throughout the series, but tbh as much as he does that he probably inhantilize her too *shrug* I need to reread the series, but you are making some sense.

I need Keefe getting mad and someone asking him if he's on his period LMAOOOO

Anyways as someone who loves Keefe you're making valid points. He has his flaws, and sometimes he isn't the best person. In summary

Never post that on pinterest. Those crazy Keefe loving, Fitz hating, Sokeefe shipping 11 year olds will MURDER YOU. I will respect your opinion, but they sure don't.

(your opinion is valid and you have facts *clap and approving nod* you have my respect.)

the post in question

okay, first of all, i need this essay immediately. i literally do not care what it's about but words! lots of words! about kotlc! need.

ooh, thank you so much! i mentioned this in the post itself, but this is a rework. the quotes were originally in one post (copy-pasted from another post) and the explanation was in a reblog, which was hella annoying, so i condensed them. i suppose it does make much more sense now. and my explanation is based in the fact that i don't think people were understanding why this isn't a good thing to be saying, period, when i posted it for the first time. even without context.

yeah, keefe displays a consistent attitude of "sophie is so adorable and small and cute and ditzy and soft". seriously, if you don't believe me, read his perspective in unlocked (or don't, because i'm going to do it for you in my part two keefe rant). it's why i don't buy his accepting sophie as a leader in stellarlune (done in a very, very tell-not-show way, may i add), unless he went through some serious development in unraveled. i may have to dedicate a whole post to that topic . . . anyway, yeah, him calling her powerful and talented feels very, very, very tell-not-show, and when you look at his internal thoughts in unlocked, it portrays her very differently. i'm not a fan of the way he sees her, truly. it feels very dumbed down and uwu-ified. no quotes from unlocked have been put into the post, so i'll have to update it later, but if i included unlocked quotes, this post would be like sixteen times its length. but yeah, you should reread the series before you come to a serious opinion. i'm obviously incredibly biased.

GOODBYE I WAS CITING THAT POST BECAUSE IT GAVE OFF THE EXACT ENERGY I FEEL KEEFE GIVES OFF . . . I DON'T EVEN THINK ELVES HAVE PERIODS (please nobody bring back that cursed discussion again, please, i beg) BUT YOU'RE SO CORRECT. SOMEONE WRITE A HUMAN AU WHERE THIS HAPPENS IMMEDIATELY

yay, a level-headed keefe lover, i love you guys. lol . . . i don't plan to go on pinterest anytime soon, or ever (and i also don't even think pinterest's format even allows for a long post like this . . . ). honestly the thought would have never even crossed my mind, because keepblr is my one true love and i'd never cheat on her. but now that you mention it, it might be funny . . .