#new mission is to try this IRL

[green-eyes-and-orange-ties]

Okay so the thing is ...

I love her.

Week 1 - People of Echor

Someone I have questions for ... Pistachio latte person! (Ellie Mae Ep1.08)

Why is that your go to drink? What even is it? Is the milk made from pistachios? Like almond milk but pistachios? Is it green? Because I am fully imagining some green eggs and ham style drink right now! Also do they know how to make it? Is it a staple of Echor? Or a night shift special? Who orders that? Are you a regular to order it so nonchalantly mid city wide crisis? Is it a comfort drink from your childhood? Who are you?!! And how come we don't hear from you again?!!

Who do you have questions for Beans?

[gloomwitchwrites]

You send him a text "Thanks for the flowers, babe" attached with a photo of a bouquet as a prank. Obvs, he gets jealous/possessive.

Anon, I love this. I cackled the first time I read it, and I've been wanting to get to it for a while. There are so many requests (and I will get to them all), but with my health being shit, I'm trying to select from the pool where I'm not overworking my brain or stressing myself out trying to come up with something. This prompt came very naturally to me.

These are all spicy. Period. I didn't hold back with this one. Maybe I'm ovulating or some shit but I literally couldn't write anything but smut for this prompt. I had a lot of fun with this one, and I hope you enjoy.

Task Force 141 x Female Reader

Content & Warnings: swearing, dirty talk, praise, spanking, oral sex (female & male receiving), face fucking, restraints, vaginal fingering, unprotected piv (wrap it up irl), creampie, jealousy, possessive behavior, orgasm control

Word Count: 4.4k

For the masterlist and how to submit your own request, click HERE

ao3 // taglist // main masterlist // imagines & what if masterlist

Simon "Ghost" Riley

Simon’s phone buzzes in his pocket. He ignores it, attention stuck on Price who stands in front of a large map of Europe.

There are pictures—some have a red “X” through them while a couple others have black question marks. The mission isn’t done, but that isn’t surprising. This has taken months to complete. It’s been slow, and entirely too complicated for Simon’s liking.

His phone buzzes again, the vibration pulling his attention away.

When the third buzz comes in, his agitation turns to worry. Simon never allows messages to come through at work unless it’s from very specific people. To have three come through in less than two minutes stirs something in his gut.

Price starts talking again but Simon’s brain is melting. He reaches into his pocket and fishes out his phone. Keeping it next to his thigh, Simon awakens the screen.

Your name is there and 3 new messages.

Simon glances up, but no one is looking at him. Silently, he unlocks the phone and clicks over to his messages, tapping on your name.

At first, Simon doesn’t understand. His brain short-circuits, and then unbridled jealousy comes roaring forward.

The first message is a photo of a beautiful bouquet sitting on the kitchen island. It’s fucking large, taking up most of the space. The flowers are different shades of pink, yellow, and orange. It looks like spring.

Beneath the picture are two texts.

Thanks for the flowers!!

I love you!

But Simon did not get you flowers. He didn’t order these, and he certainly didn’t have them delivered to the flat.

Fuck. What the actual fuck.

Someone else did this.

Simon’s first thought is that Johnny did it to prank him. But Johnny has been a bit subdued today, and his attention isn’t on Simon at all.

No. It’s likely not him.

Simon locks his phone and stews. He can’t just leave this meeting. It’s important, but he’s going to get to the fucking bottom of it.

By the time Price dismisses them, Simon is already out the door, charging toward his locker to grab his stuff. It usually takes him a half hour to arrive home, but today he does it in twenty. When Simon bursts through the front door, he’s ready to toss those flowers right off the balcony.

But then he sees your face—how happy you are—and Simon melts. You throw yourself into his arms, and Simon instinctually responds, embracing you tightly. He presses his face into your hair and inhales.

“Missed you,” you say, grabbing both sides of his face and kissing him. “Thank you for the flowers.”

I didn’t get you any flowers.

Simon smiles because it’s all he can manage. That jealousy from earlier starts to curl back up, twisting around in his ribcage.

“Did you like the note?”

You frown. “What note?”

The way you ask is…odd. It’s far too innocent in the presentation. Simon knows your cues and this seems forced to him. But the sender didn’t leave a message. That doesn’t give Simon much to go on if he’s going to track down who sent them.

“Maybe they forgot,” he replies, kissing your forehead. “Show them to me.”

With a bright smile, you take his hand, guiding him into the kitchen. They’re much more stunning in person and Simon momentarily freezes. Did he forget your birthday? An anniversary? An important event?

Simon recalls nothing for today’s date.

The jealousy rises again but he clamps down on it. Anyone could have sent this, especially a friend of yours or a family member. Doesn’t mean there is someone out there with predatory intentions. And for all Simon knows, you’re having a laugh, riling me up. You’ve done it before.

“They’re lovely,” observes Simon. “Better than the picture.”

Your grin is gorgeous, a thing Simon wants to bottle up. You open your mouth to answer him but the dryer goes off. “Hold on,” you call over your shoulder as you dash away. “Let me change over the loads.”

When you disappear, Simon goes for the bouquet. He quickly checks through every flower and between the stems, even sticks his fingers in the dirt. Simon doesn’t know what the fuck he’s looking for, but he’s grasping for anything.

The only thing of note is the business card which Simon quickly plucks from its holder and tucks into his pocket. Simon steps away from the bouquet when you appear again.

Jealousy is stewing, showing its fangs, curling tighter around Simon’s ribs.

When you reach for him, Simon sweeps you off your feet, planting you on the kitchen island. You giggle, but Simon cuts it off, drawing you to the edge to seize your lips in a fierce kiss.

That jealous viper between his bones tells him to possess you.

Simon’s hands drop to your waist and then your hips. He settles himself between your legs, hands moving down to your bare thighs.

You’re flushed with embarrassment, attempting to hide your face from him, giggling his name as you fist his shirt.

“I’ve been thinking about you all day,” rasps Simon.

Your lips part and Simon slides his tongue inside. You moan, suck on his tongue, and release him. Simon’s grip on your thighs tightens.

“All day?” you ask softly.

Moving his hands to beneath your thighs, Simon tugs you into his arms and carries you over to the dining room table, but doesn’t place you on top of it. He brings you to your feet, and then his fingers curl around the shorts that are little more than underwear.

“Take these off.”

“Simon—”

“Do it,” he growls, releasing them and bringing his hand back to his side.

Slowly, you do as he says. You bring them up so that Simon can see them before tossing them to the side. That viper in him hisses, the venom leaking into his system.

Simon slides his hand between your thighs. You lean back against the table, hands resting on the edge as you part your legs. What his fingers find only makes him groan.

Withdrawing, Simon licks his fingers clean. “Turn around. Bend over the table. Show me what I want.” With a smirk on your lips, you face the table, and bend forward, going up on your toes.

Fuck the flowers and whoever sent them. You’re his.

Simon unbuckles the front of his belt, undoes the zipper of his pants, and frees his aching cock. He needs to be inside you, to hear you say his name, to feel you come around him. He needs to possess because it’s the only thing he can do right now.

Guiding with his hand, Simon rubs the head of his cock through your slickness. You’re already so wet for him—so fucking needy, and he’ll devour it all. Give you exactly what you want while taking something for him.

As he starts to slide in, you whimper. Reaching back, your hand grabs your ass, opening yourself a bit wider for him.

Bloody hell.

Simon doesn’t want to go slow. Using his grip on your hip, he slides all the way in, making you take him to the hilt with one forward thrust of his hips.

Your gasp is choked, and then Simon is lost, pounding into you as if this is the last time he’ll ever fuck you. It’s only your tightness, your breathy moans of pleasure, and the desperate why you say his name. It wraps around him, satiates the viper, calms the rising jealousy until it’s only you Simon can focus on.

Through the haze, Simon finds your clit, plays with it, slows his thrusts until your orgasm arrives, squeezing him so tight he almost finishes right then and there. But once that wave crests and crashes, Simon is back at it. Planting both hands on the table on either side of your waist, Simon stutters out, his lower back tensing, everything draw up.

Simon’s orgasm is an unraveling. All the tension melts as he finishes, and even then, he continues to thrust, pushing his cum deeper inside you. His chest heaves, body shuddering as he draws back a bit. Your breathing is just as labored.

Easing out of your body, Simon admires the bloom of cum at your entrance. He presses it back inside before helping you unbend from the table. Turning you around to face him, Simon claims your mouth in a deep kiss, his grasping the back of your head.

You form to him, and Simon’s hunger flares.

“To bed,” he says, drawing you away with a tug on your hair.

“To sleep?” you ask, smirking.

Maybe you did all this. Planned it all from the beginning.

Naughty girl.

Simon shakes his head. “Not yet.”

He releases you, and then smacks your ass for good measure. Squeaking, you scurry away toward the bedroom. Simon stands there for a moment, composing himself. Reaching into his pocket, he withdraws the business card. There is an address and a phone number.

Glancing over his shoulder at the bouquet, Simon comes to a decision. Stalking toward his duffle, Simon secures the business card in a side pocket. He’ll deal with this at work.

Right now, you’re getting undressed.

And Simon is much more interested in that.

Flowers can wait.

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick

You send the final text and lock your phone, leaving it on the coffee table.

It’s just a little prank. A tease.

Kyle is always a gentleman even when he makes your toes curl and pulls unseemly sounds from between your lips. But riling him up can be just as fun. Kyle isn’t one to be jealous or even possessive of you. He’s certainly protective, and his presence always makes you feel safe, but you’re aching for something else right now.

The flowers weren’t all that expensive. And they are pretty.

Your phone buzzes. You ignore it.

It buzzes again.

When you check the screen, you see two new texts from Kyle. You stare at it, and set it back down. You’re going to let him stew and question. If anything, Kyle might think the flowers innocent.

Tapping your fingers against your knee, impatience stirring in your belly, you stare out the patio door. You need to distract yourself, but the urge to look is too strong. Snatching the phone back up, you glance at the messages.

That’s sweet, love.

But I didn’t get you flowers.

Honesty. This man is terrible at lying or hiding his feelings.

You tap out a reply.

Of course you did! Loved the note you left with it!

Kyle’s reply is instant.

Note?

You nearly cackle at the ceiling and when you hit send.

I want you tonight. You know you can have me whenever lol. No need to send flowers about it.

Within seconds of you hitting send, you phone starts to vibrate. Yelping, you nearly drop the thing. Kyle’s name and a photo of him at the beach pop up on your screen. You stare at it, allowing it to go to voicemail. He calls again immediately.

You launch off the couch, pacing as the phone falls back into voicemail. It’s a bit thrilling knowing that Kyle is likely worked up on the other end.

Answer the phone, comes Kyle’s next text, and then, I’m coming home.

Oh shit.

You are all nervous excitement waiting for him. And when he does come barreling through the door, you’re a bit shocked at the sight of him.

Slowly, he shuts the front door, striding into the kitchen where the bouquet is. He stares at it for a long moment before turning his gaze on you.

“Kyle,” you say brightly, walking toward him.

He holds up a finger and walks past you. You hear the opening and shutting of doors, of drawers being opened, and items moving around. Kyle returns, hands on his hips, concern on his features.

“What’s wrong?” you ask.

“I didn’t send you those flowers.”

“Didn’t you?” you reply, innocently, moving toward them.

Kyle shoots forward and begins digging through the stems. “Where is that bloody card?” he mutters.

There is no card. No note. You made it all up.

“Kyle,” you say, but he ignores you.

“Un-fucking-believable,” he says, ripping opening the plastic to see inside.

“Kyle,” you repeat, adding a bit of volume behind your voice.

Again, he ignores you, scattering the flowers across the countertop.

“When I find the fucking wanker that—”

“Kyle!”

He turns, eyes a bit wild. Kyle looks ridiculous, and you suddenly feel terrible. You reach for him, placing both hands on either side of his face. “There’s no note.”

Kyle blinks like he didn’t hear you correctly. “What?”

“There’s no note,” you repeat. “I bought the flo—”

Kyle groans loudly and places his entire hand over your face, muffling the last few words. “Bloody hell, baby girl.” He lightly pushes off, dropping his hand, and stepping back.

You grin sheepishly as Kyle crosses his arms over his chest.

“What was the goal?” he asks, leaning forward a bit.

You shrug your shoulders. “To rile you up?”

Kyle laughs, short and clipped. “Rile me up?”

“Yes,” you say slowly.

He leans in a bit more, a smirk on his face. “And what do you think was going to happen once you riled me up?”

You know that Kyle already knows the answer to this question. But he’s indulging you. As he always does.

“I didn’t think that far,” you reply, but it’s far from the truth.

You wanted to rile him up so that he’d come home and fuck you like a man possessed.

Kyle bites down on his bottom lip and you track the movement. “No, love. You did.” He straightens. “And I know what you want.”

Kyle steps into your space, his head dipping as if to kiss you but pausing just before. “You need a good throat fucking. I need an apology. And then I can give you what you want.”

“Kyle,” you breathe.

“On your knees, love. Present your mouth.”

You obediently drop to your knees, and part your lips.

“Wider,” he almost growls.

You do so just as Kyle reaches down and undoes the front of his belt. He doesn’t even look. Doesn’t flinch. The belt is gone and the front of his pants are open by the time Kyle grabs your face and brings you close.

“Tongue out.”

You do so, and Kyle taps the head of his cock against it before sliding it back and forth over your tongue. His hold shifts, falling to the nape of your neck.

“Take it like a good girl. Got it?”

You nod, and Kyle draws you forward, forcing you to take all of him. Holding you in place for a few seconds, Kyle only eases you back once your gag reflex kicks in. Kyle adjusts his stance, and your hands grasp the sides of his thighs.

Kyle’s hand on the back of your neck tightens as his other hand tangles in your hair. Keeping you in place, he starts to thrust, fucking your mouth like he would your pussy. All you can do is cling to him, to hold on as he grunts above you.

There isn’t any anger there, just a stern brow and a need for control. It’s delicious. Entirely mouth-watering. Your core warms, a slickness blooming, indicating just how much this turns you on.

To bring Kyle toward his end, you make little sounds in your throat. It makes him stutter. It makes him moan. Beneath his pants, you feel the muscles in his legs tighten. And then he’s forcing you down his length, throating him entirely as he comes down your throat.

Breathing through you nose is the only thing holding you together. And when he slides you off, you cough, wiping at your lips.

Kyle’s hand caresses your cheek, drawing your gaze to him. He arches a single eyebrow.

“I’m sorry,” you say.

Reaching out, Kyle draws you up to your feet, bringing you close. His smile is soft, and when he comes in for a kiss, it is consuming.

“Now that you’ve riled me up,” he murmurs against your lips. “I’ll give you what you want.”

Kyle pulls away, his thumb pressing on your bottom lip.

“Take off your clothes. Kneel on the bed. And bend over. Got it?”

You nod, and Kyle drops his hand.

“That’s my good girl.”

John "Soap" MacTavish

Johnny’s ears are ringing.

“You better be bloody joking,” he growls at his phone.

On the screen is a beautiful bouquet of flowers. Flowers that you’re thanking him for. Flowers that he didn’t send.

And the card? Bloody fucking hell. That card is going in the shredder. Johnny will tear it apart with his own teeth if he has to. Some fucker had the bright idea to send you flowers like he’s the one you’re dating.

No. Fuck that.

Johnny might be the demolitions expert, but he knows Ghost could dig around for him if he asked. Scratch that. Johnny is asking right fucking now.

“Hey, Lt!” Johnny jogs over to Ghost and turns his phone around. “Can you trace who sent these flowers?”

Ghost’s expression behind the balaclava remains flat. “It’s a fucking photo, Johnny.”

Cursing under his breath, Johnny forwards the image to Ghost. Ghost checks his phone, enlarging the image.

He grunts. “Should be easy.” Ghost glances up from the screen. “Why?”

“Someone making a move on my woman,” replies Johnny, holding back a growl.

“Done,” says Ghost. “Give me a couple hours.”

It doesn’t take Ghost long, and Johnny has to laugh out loud.

“You fucking naughty thing,” mutters Johnny as he unlocks the door to your flat.

When he enters, you’re nearly on your toes, eager for him. It’s cute, but you need to learn first. Sure, the prank is harmless, but you were wanting a rise out of him.

Punishment is needed.

“Johnny,” you say brightly, coming around the counter to greet him.

As you arms reach for him, Johnny removes his belt. Your gaze drops, but he is faster than you. Johnny has the belt around your wrists and secured before you can even protest.

“What are you doing?” you ask breathlessly.

“Thought I wouldn’t find out?” Johnny tuts. He yanks you forward, bringing the two of you almost face-to-face. “Bought those flowers yourself.”

Johnny tugs on the belt again. You stumble into him and he spins you around. With another quick tug, Johnny has the belt looped onto one of the coat hooks embedded in the wall.

Reaching down, Johnny palms your ass, his lips pressed to your ear. “Got me all jealous at work. Had Ghost stalking the flower shop and everything.” He squeezes, and then smacks your ass. Hard.

You whimper. “Johnny. I’m sorry.”

“No apologies, love.” He kisses your throat. Your skin is soft and he inhales, savoring your scent. You’re freshly showered, and the smell of your shampoo invades his nostrils.

It doesn’t take much to rid you of your underwear. It’s just you in an old shirt and your bare ass on full display. Johnny slides his hands between you clenched thighs.

“Spread them.”

You do so obediently and a primal part of him simmers with pleasure. Johnny slowly drops to his knees behind you. He savors the view, taking his time to enjoy the sight before him. Even from here, Johnny can see how slick you are. How wanton.

He’s going to devour you. Make you beg. Deny you what it is you most want until you’re a fucking mess for him. That’s punishment enough.

Johnny tests by running one finger over your pussy. It comes back glossy. He pops it into his mouth, groaning at your taste.

“Want me to eat this pretty pussy?” asks Johnny, running his finger over you again.

You nod frantically. “Yes. Please.”

That’s a start.

Johnny leans in, the tip of his tongue playing with your entrance. He traces it with his tongue before slipping inside, slowly fucking you with it. It’s not enough, but Johnny knows this. He needs to suck on your clit and give you his fingers to make you come.

But even then, you’ll have to wait.

You’ll have to beg.

Johnny trails upward, swirling his tongue, finding your clit. He teases it. Flicks it back and forth in a steady stroke. You’re already growing wetter. You’re already moaning above him. Too bad you don’t know what’s coming.

Johnny slides one finger inside of you, pumping twice before inserting a second. You’re tight around him. He can feel the stretch.

He works you slowly, lightly thrusting his fingers in and out of your pussy as he teases your clit with his tongue. Above him, your moans come unbroken and loud. It’s sweet. He loves the sound. But Johnny knows your tells, and when your muscles begin to clench and unclench quickly, he ceases all movement.

“What the fuck,” you gasp, glancing down.

Johnny chuckles. “You have to earn it love.”

“Johnny, please,” you beg.

“What’s that, love? Didn’t hear you?”

“Please,” you say, drawing it out.

“Please what?” he prompts.

“I want to come,” you murmur.

Johnny smirks and starts fucking you with his fingers again, but doesn’t put his mouth back on your clit. It’s not enough for you. You’re squirming. Wiggling. Needing more.

“You pull another stunt like this again, love, and this,” Johnny smacks your ass with a sharp thwack, “will be red.”

“I’m sorry, Johnny. Please. Just—please.”

Johnny teases your clit with a quick swipe of his tongue. “Beg some more.”

You do. All sorts of obscene things fall from your lips. When tears form in the corner of your eyes, Johnny finally gives you relief.

He fucks your gorgeous pussy with his fingers. He tastes and teases until you’re crying out, clamping around him as you come undone.

Johnny withdraws. Straightens.

You’re still hanging on the hook.

He frees you from it, but does not remove the belt from around your wrists. Johnny presses you against him with a flat palm upon your stomach.

“Don’t do that again,” he murmurs.

“I won’t.”

Johnny kisses your throat. “To bed.”

You frown, holding up your bound hands. “But the belt.”

“Stays on,” he says, fisting the tangling leather. “Until I’m done with you.”

John Price

John isn’t one for texting.

You’ll send him a barrage of texts only for him to call you hours later asking what you were texting him about.

Which is why you didn’t think this plan would work.

But then it did, and now you’re bent over John’s lap, bare ass in the air.

John told you that he was working late to catch up on paperwork. Whenever that happens, he always gives you a call to check-in and hear your voice. It’s routine at this point. A comfort. Most of the time, he just wants you on the other side, to have you talk about the day or whatever you want while he’s working. John will usually remain silent, listening, basking in your voice.

You planned it perfectly, knowing that he’d check his phone before giving you a call. You sent the photo of the flowers. A beautiful display really. And they were on sale. You also sent him a picture of the makeshift “note” that you made for it. All it said was “thinking of you” with no name. All of that was follow up by a “thank you” and promises to please him later.

John was calm when he called you—almost eerily so. When you thanked him from the flowers, he didn’t reply. He simply pushed past it. The thing is, John saved all of that energy up for when he came home.

Your ass stings. John rubs the spot he just smacked before squeezing.

“Now, love. Tell me the truth.” He says it so sweetly, like it’s such a simple thing.

And you don’t know how much longer you’ll last under this barrage.

“You bought them for me,” you whimper, keeping up the façade.

John shakes his head. “We both know that’s not true.” He squeezes your ass again, the sting burning slightly when he let’s go.

“I’d guess you’re seeing someone else but that would be lie. Wouldn’t it?”

He punctuates this statement by slipping his hand between your thighs, his fingers running over your pussy, parting your slickness. John dips one finger inside and then another, only to retreat and grab your ass cheek with the same hand.

“I know just how to make you wet, love. You have no one else to run to.”

“I told you—Fuck! John!” You jolt in his lap as his palm comes down on your already throbbing cheek.

“Be honest, love. Or you’ll get a few more.”

You swallow down your pride. You wanted him riled up, but you weren’t expecting this. Not for John to come home, strip you down, and bend you over his lap.

“I bought them,” you grumble.

John’s hand eases. “You what?”

“I bought them,” you snap.

“I knew you did.”

Before you have the chance to form a retort, John guides you up and into his lap. He grabs the front of your throat, bringing you close to him. He does not kiss you. He simply hovers.

“You’re going to straddle my lap and bounce on my cock until I fill you up. You understand?”

You nod, and Price let’s go of your throat.

“Get to it,” he purrs.

John is fully clothed, and you’re wearing nothing at all. You undo the clasp of his belt, pull the zipper, and he flexes his hips enough that you can work his pants down a bit. When his hard length is free to you, you straddle him, lining yourself up.

He remains impassive as you start to sink down. The stretch is perfect—as it always is, and you groan as you seat yourself entirely on his cock. Gripping his shoulders, you roll up and back down, rocking when you can to give your legs a break.

John still stays quiet but his gaze is assessing. Slowly, his hand comes around your neck again, and this time he squeezes slightly. It’s not to hurt. It’s to dominate and possess.

“Who do you belong to, love?” he asks.

“You,” you murmur, sinking down on him.

“Say it again,” repeats John.

“I belong to you,” you gasp, coming up and then back down.

“Again,” and this time there’s a growl in his tone.

“I’m yours, John.”

“Fucking right,” he says, crashing his mouth to yours.

The kiss is a claiming, one that shoots through your body and consumes your limbs and control. You shudder, pussy clenching, and then John is fucking up into you, his hands on your hips.

You’re no longer in control. It’s just John, and his need to possess.

taglist:

@km-ffluv @glitterypirateduck @tiredmetalenthusiast @cherryofdeath @sapphichotmess

@saoirse06 @ferns-fics @unhinged-reader-36 @miss-mistinguett @ravenpoe67

@tulipsun-flower @sageyxbabey @ninman82 @lulurubberduckie @leed-bbg

@yawning-grave81 @azkza @haven-1307 @voids-universe @itsberrydreemurstuff

@cod-z @littlemisscriesherselftosleep @statixx-x @umno-yeah @blackhawkfanatic

@talooolaaloolla @sadlonelybagel @iloveslasher @sammysinger04 @suhmie

@ash-tarte @eternallyvenus @spookyscaryspoon @vrb8im @enarien

@nishim @lovely-ateez @thewulf @certainlygay @miaraei

@spicyspicyliving @kidd3ath @no-oneelsebutnsu @beebeechaos @lxblm

@jackrabbitem @jaggersinclair @dakotakazansky @daemondoll @keiva1000

[roturo]

⋆⭒˚｡⋆₊ ⊹ CHAMPAGNE CONFETTI

₊˚⊹♡ I WANNA SEE IT IN MOTION! IN 3D! gojo satotu, geto suguru, nanami kento, yuta okkotsu, megumi fushiguro˖⁺｡˚⋆˙

tags: sexting, degradation, some of them have sub/dom dynamics, semi public arousal (?), sex videos (do not practice this irl), friends with benefits, established relationships, and more idk.

A/N: such a weird combination of jjk men lol

gojo satoru

he was tired and annoyed once he got to the hotel after killing some stupid curses that easily a grade 2 sorcerer could do the work– but oh how they have been insisting on him to continue doing missions this days. he swears it’s utahime’s fault to finally take control over the tokyo students and make them move to kyoto.

but the true thing is that he was also so pent up after spending a long time without you beside him, he would call it a day after taking a shower and lay in bed– but a notification on his phone stopped him before doing so.

1 attachment sent

i bought this new pair, it reminded me of your eyes, i miss you:(

and holy fuck- he swears if he wasn’t in just a pair of black briefs his cock would suffocate because of how fast he got hard– his hand immediately traveling trough and start working nicely to release the feeling. the pre-cum being more than enough to lubricate his cock and make it easier to jerk off– with one hand he opened up the camera and took a video before sending it to you.

sounds of whines and whimpers coming out of the video, making you immediately wet– a visible wet patch forming in your panties, he sounded so pretty– pretty enough to reply to him with another video of you coming –still with your panties on– by just rubbing yourself in the pillow.

“ah fuck it– someone else can take care of this mission”

geto suguru

he’s not a fan of it– he prefers having it in real motion in 3D– and he knows that because when you do send him some risky text or picture is just to piss him off– or maybe he likes to think you’re just a horny slut for him. 

but fuck it, why he couldn’t be the horny slut just for once this time? just one time –that’s what he promised himself– the idea of you going out with your friends today, the dress you were wearing being a lil bit too much short for his liking –not wanting to be the type of boyfriend he wouldn’t let you wear whatever you want– and he knows other men will be seeing you and get hard just at the thought of you, so that’s why he needed you like right now.

1 attachment sent

wouldn’t u be so nice to come back home and help me relieve some stress? pls baby, i need you.

and this was surprising as fuck because geto was always so dominant, making you the needy one in the relationship, so this wasn’t an opportunity to waste.

send a video of yourself to show me how much you want me.

1 attachment sent

fuck, i’m typing with just one hand rn, all i can think of is your pretty lips around my cock.

you were in the restroom of the bar you decided to go out with your friends, core pulsing, surely there was a wetness coming out of you, trying to release some tension, you tried to find some friction by rubbing your thighs together.

i’m going back home baby, do not cum.

nanami kento

“you fucking horny needy slut.” 

he exhaled, the words barely hearable– he had to re-adjust in the chair he was sitting on, pants suddenly too tight, tie not letting him breathe and time going lower this time.

“Nanami-san, are you feeling okay?”

he wouldn’t admit it outloud but he’s a fan of the risky texts you send him, edging him and make him eager to go back home as soon as possible– but right now, it would be nice if you didn’t send this in the middle of a fucking reunion he had with some clients. this time you wouldn’t be the only one playing silly games– he would take a quick photo of his growing erection in his pants, with no text, no emoji, no nothing. and the reunion was stressing him out, he was so pent up that he’s a millimeter from standing and leaving.

you knew that, you fucking knew he was in a reunion, but you still decided to desobey him and be a needy brat just to be fucked stupid. and ohh he wouldn’t fall for your silly games, he’s not angry, he’s actually pretty excited to get back home and just edge you till you fall apart in his arms begging for release.

he couldn’t wait.

yuta okkotsu

he’s BRIGHT RED. he was supposed to be focusing on whatever gojo-sensei was talking about, but the moment he opened up your message he expected everything else but this. 

and he thinks this was an accident, but no way– the way your body looks, how good your tits looked, damn. 

1 attachment sent.

why won’t you come and play with me instead yuta~ ;( 

shit, he felt his cock throb and start growing inside his pants– it was so painful to see you like that and can’t have the real thing in 3D to touch, he swears he could just cum if you showed up in front of him like that-

“Are you okay Yuta?”  Maki’s voice brought him back to reality, the sudden pain of his cock searching for release becoming a little bit too much to bear– he needed to do something right now.

He excused himself to the restroom, clear erection showing on his pants– praying to god no one saw it, a wet patch forming in it thanks to the amount of pre-cum he was leaking right now.

1 attachment sent

lewd sounds came from the video; panting, whimpers, and moans saying your name– you never thought he would answer back, fuck- you even thought this was going to ruin your relationship with yuta, but holy fuck. 

there he was, fucking his fist in the bathroom at the image of you, sudden cum painting the mirror, loud whimpers came out of him, telling you how much he needed your little pussy wrapped around his cock–

I’m going to your dorm rn, cant wait anymore

megumi fushiguro

okay. you were supposed to be only friends but god damn. he swears it was the time– suddenly the texts turned more risky and now you’re sending him a video of rubbing yourself with your pillow with his shirt. 

and he was never this eager to cum, biting the lower part of his shirt so he could keep his moans back and not wake up Yuuji in the other group (plus he was way too needy to take his shirt off), phone on the other hand on a video call with you while he shows the lewd image of himself fucking at your own movements between a screen.

fuck gojo-sensei, why did he had to send him on a mission? he needs to see you like that but instead of a pillow being the thing you’re rubbing your pussy into, it needs to be his cock instead.

“Ah- ffuck…” small sounds calling out your name came from megumi’s mouth, almost audible thanks to the shirt preventing him from moaning out loud, “sshit, i just wanna be back to see you and touch you baby, i know you won’t regret this.” strips of cum coming out of him, the view making you dizzy and helping you reach your own high too.

[chososcamgirl]

CLUBBING TOPS! - yeah this bitch goes partying EVERY weekend. also most weekdays bc sjap yn has a high alcohol tolerance. alcohol poisoning? never heard of her. these tops do it every. single. time. without fail. she wears any one of these slutty tops and she’s going home with a man. this girl has a mission! (and no it’s not to sleep with every dj that plays ayesha erotica for her. looks at megumi) don’t be fooled though she’s always down to share her clothes with maki or nobara bc she’s a girls girl (not rlly but she just loves her friends so much) she once caught panda trying to put her tank studio top one once and LOST IT. she started screaming at him that he already stretched it and he needs to buy her a new one… whole time the material was just stretchy she just wanted another one in a different colour (bc why would she pay $120 for a top when panda can!)

ACCESSORIES! - yn is a silver girl BY FAR. you’ll always catch her leaving with one if not all of these. she basically lives in hoops. showers in them, sleeps in them (i know that back piece is smells NASTY) she lives off the quote “the bigger the hoop the bigger the hoe”. MARC JACOBS FRIENDSHIP NECKLACE!!!! (yes i might’ve based this off me and my bff irl ok burn me) she has one on but the real question is who has the other? hint starts with p and ends in anda. but don’t be silly there’s no duos or trios cough yes cough in the group. they all have matching necklaces for eachother bc they couldn’t find a 4 friendship way necklace laugh out loud. she just prefers the marc jacobs one bc it makes her feel superior. CLIPS!!!!! yes she’s a sucker for cute hair clips arrest her. you will never see her with flyaways nah uh.

WHATS IN HER BAG! - her most prized possession… miss miu miu… she got it from the group for her 19th birthday (yes they all were broke afterwards and dine and dashed dinner but hey! can u blame them, that shit is expensive) and in so called expensive bag is ALWAYS a sonny angel. yes he does bring her good luck. the only time she forgot to put a sonny angel in her bag was when she got harassed via imsg.. sound familiar? this bitch vlogs EVERY MOMENT of her life. she has a secret youtube account where she posts her cute little city vlogs of her and her friends. she doesn’t expect it to go viral but it does shortly after she debuted man eater. one time she was at dinner and forgot her handy cam so she called her friend at home to come pick her up, drop her at home to grab her handy cam and then drop her back to dinner which she arrived shortly after her food did (wdym this isn’t a personal experience… heh… i lied sorry bff) and lastly her infamous pink hello kitty lighter. for blunts. and cigarettes occasionally. but mainly blunts.

TEES! - these are just some of the tops she would wear on air. the listeners can’t see her anyways but she loves to dress cute because it makes her feel good doing so. she was always so expressive via fashion because it’s illegal to kill somebody you hate crowd boos

BOTTOMS! - yeah so this bitch basically lives in mini skirts and booty shorts. no mind that her ass is out she refuses to wear pants. on the rare occasion she DOES wear pants it’s usually just bootcut jeans that flare at the end because it makes her ass look good.

OUTERWEAR! - she loooveesssss her jackets like she adores them. cold? putting on a jacket. being harassed? putting on a jacket legs are freezing due to said mini skirt? putting on a jacket. such a multi use piece of clothing! also comes in handy to choke out roommates when they eat your leftovers from the night before! oops!

SHOES! - this girl only wears two types of shoes. heels or knee high boots. nevermind that we are going to the beach she WILL pull up with kitten heels. but who needs the beach when clubbing is just as fun right? she does everything in heels. cook, work, griddy, kick a guy in the dick for groping her? you name it. put this bitch in 5 inch stilettos and she would still would NOT falter once not even stumble. she is a pro and actually needs to be considered for the olympics because that footwork technique is impeccable.

masterlist

taglist: @shokosbunny @luvvmae @catobsessedlady @satoryaa @prozacprinc3ss @essjujutsu @therealsatorugojo @yeehawslap @gojodickbig @dawnisatotalqueen @j2upiters @nappingnai @lalalasillybilly3000 @totallytatum @3cst4syy @lysaray @saltypuffin1040 @aozui @noodles-icetea @makeshiftproject @kurtcobaingirlie @kokoiinuts @renbittt @dashingaurries @slvttycorpse @cuupidsss @mochroialainn @tenjikusstuff4 @oroborosttheiii @ichcocat @iiwaijime @drugzforyou @sugurubabe @allthestarsarecloserrrrrrr @tyigerz @yoyo-yui @megoomies @yizmiu @jasminasblog22 @yomamablazeit @marst4rz @guitarstringed-scars @qtnfer @kalulakunundrum @lovefrominaya @beepbopzlorp @iheartlindz @itsdragonius @meguemii @chilichopsticks @7kn0wn @starantulas @1l-ynn @bonitoflakez @rcveriees @solaqes @starrysho @sukunaspillow @evry1luvssm

*if i can't tag you please change your tag settings otherwise i will remove you from the list!

[cowboybeepboop]

Please please please write something angsty with Hangman that ends with smut, it doesn't have to be too angsty but I really like how soft you write him

Pairing: Jake “Hangan” Seresin x fem! Reader 

Genre: Smut

Word count: 6.6k 

Summary: You’re a psychologist who is currently working with Maverick which means that Jake Seresin is back in your life. The two of you used to be friends but things changed between you during senior year. Seeing him again brings back memories, and feelings you thought you’d suppressed.

Warnings: not even slightly accurate to irl navy experience (I feel like that would be an assumption but nevertheless), mentions of bullying, Jake being a horrible person in the past, hand stuff, oral fem receiving. 

a/n: lowkey this was rlly fun to write, I'm not so great at angst so I hope this is good. Again, as always, I hope you enjoy and please send any requests you might have <3 I love to write requests so feel free to send anything! Also also, send me a message if you want to be tagged in future Glen Powell/Hangman fics.

You and Jake went to the same highschool and were great friends yet both late bloomers. You grew into yourself during your sophomore year of college whereas Jake did in Senior year of high school, when he got his big growth spurt and lost his braces. Something about him entirely humiliating you by standing you up on Prom night, something you were looking forward to, simply because of how much you liked him has you holding a grudge. 

So when you ran into him during your new position as a clinical psychologist for the Navy, your heart quite literally stopped. You thought that pretending you didn't see him would suffice, but, unfortunately the universe has a completely different plan. 

Your boss had introduced you to Maverick, they planned to have you check out his new team in order to make sure they are competent for the missions the government plans for them to complete. That's how you ended up in the gruff man's office every morning, despite his obvious disdain for your presence in their team. 

The evening sunlight beats down on you as you stand next to Maverick, watching the team go through their training drills. You notice him glance over at you, before focusing back on the team in front of you.

"How's that observing going for you?" He asks with a hint of sarcasm in his voice, never taking his eyes off the team performing push-ups.

“Honestly Sir,” you glance over to him, “You’re really good at training, but I think you should be flying missions. You’re too good of a pilot to be stuck on teaching duties.” 

Maverick pauses for a moment, caught off guard by your unexpected compliment. It's clear he wasn't expecting you to say that. He huffs, shaking his head as if trying to dismiss what you said.

"Well, aren't you just full of surprises, sweetheart." He smirks and turns to look you in the eye. "I take it you read up on my file, huh? Got all the dirty little details on Mr. Top Gun himself."

“Of course, but my father trained here a couple years after you.” your gaze returns to the aviators, “He’s always looked up to you, says you're one of the greatest.” 

Maverick's smirk falters for a second, his expression unreadable. He shifts his weight and adjusts the collar of his shirt, suddenly looking a bit uncomfortable.

"Your old man, huh?” He clears his throat. “I had no idea." There's a brief pause before he speaks again, his voice taking on a slightly softer tone. "What's he doing nowadays?"

You reply with a shrug, “Not sure. He wasn’t so keen on having a *shrink* hanging around. Said it cramps his style.” Maverick snorts, that sarcastic smirk returning to his face. 

"Yeah, that sounds like a pilot, alright." He says with a chuckle. His gaze flicks over to the team, currently going through flight drills. He lets out a deep breath before speaking again, a hint of contemplation in his voice. "Did you ever think about becoming a pilot?”

“I did, but I don't think I meet the height requirement.” you smile up at him. Maverick chuckles at your joke, a rare glimpse of genuine humor in his expression.

"Ah yes, the height requirement. The bane of many short people's existence." He teases, his smirk widening. Before you can respond, both of you turn your attention to the sound of the aviators approaching. They look exhausted but pleased, clearly proud of a job well done.

Jake walks towards you, sweat dripping down his forehead from the strenuous training. He stands a little too close, his eyes fixed on you and his breathing heavy. "Hey, Y/N." Jake says, his voice strained from the workout. "You got a minute?” you shift your gaze to the older man at your right, clearing your throat before speaking. 

“No, I’m quite busy.” your usual playful tone is replaced with a distant and cold one.

Maverick picks up on your plea immediately, his expression hardening at the sight of Jake's attempt to speak with you. He steps forward slightly, creating a small barrier between you and Jake.

Jake looks taken back by your cold response, his cocky demeanor slipping slightly. He glances between you and Maverick, clearly confused. "Ah, come on. Just a quick minute." He presses.

“There’s time to talk later.” Maverick interrupts, making you sigh in relief. Jake's cocky smile falters at your cold rejection and Maverick's intervention. He glances at the older man, clearly annoyed by his interruption. 

"It's alright, Maverick," he says, trying to shrug off Maverick's protective stance. "I just wanted to talk to Y/N for a second. It won't take long."  you cower behind Mav, unwilling to face Jake alone again.

Rooster interrupts the tense situation, “Mav, should we hit the showers? Or is there more training to be done?” Jake’s face darkens at Rooster’s question, clearly frustrated that his attempt to speak with you is being constantly interrupted. He clenches his jaw, his irritation palpable.

Maverick, however, remains calm. He gives you a reassuring look before turning to face his team. "Yeah, you guys go ahead and hit the showers." Maverick says, his hand still on your shoulder. "I’ll take care of the situation here." The team nods, sensing the tension in the air, and starts making their way towards the showers.

You avoid Jake's gaze, biting down on your lower lip as you sigh with the tension between the three of you. As the team heads off to the showers, the tension in the air still hangs heavily. Jake stands there, hands on his hips, as he stares at you with a mix of disappointment and anger.

Meanwhile, Maverick's hand goes to your shoulder, a silent show of support. "You really going to keep avoiding me like this?" Jake finally blurts out, breaking the silence.

“If I can.” you say, voice barely above a whisper. “You’re like a damn hawk.” Mav gives you a quizzical gaze before you sigh. “It’s okay Sir, I’ll talk to him” he gives you a soft nod, heading off toward the buildings. 

Once Maverick leaves, Jake's attention refocuses on you, his gaze narrowing as he steps closer. "You’ve been avoiding me all week. We need to talk." His voice is firm, his frustration evident.

“It’s only been a couple days,” you protest, Jake's annoyance only grows at your words, his jaw tightening as he steps even closer, closing the space between you. 

"A couple of days?! It's felt like an eternity. And yeah, I remember our last conversation. It didn't exactly go well." He crosses his arms over his chest, his eyes narrowing as he looks down at you. "You can't keep brushing me aside like this." 

You take a few steps back, sighing with defeat. “Jake, why do you care so much now?” Jake's eyes flick down to the space between you, watching you take a few steps back. His expression softens slightly as he hears the resignation in your voice.

He runs a hand through his hair, frustration etched across his features. "Why do I care?” he repeats, as if the answer should be obvious. “Because I..." He trails off, his own emotions catching him off guard. He pauses, grappling with the words he wants to say, before finding them again. 

You gulp, brushing past him heading toward the buildings. Jake turns, his eyes following you as you try to brush past him. He reaches out, his hand encircling your wrist, stopping you in your tracks.

"Hey, wait." His voice is softer now, more pleading. "Please, just stop and listen to me for a second."

“Okay, fine.” you pull your wrist from his grasp. Jake's hand hangs in the air for a moment after you pull away, your sharp movement surprising him slightly. But he quickly regains his composure and drops it back to his side.

He takes a deep breath and steps closer to you. He wants to reach out and touch you again, but he restrains himself. "I just... I can't stand this. This constant avoidance." 

“Worked well for you when it was you avoiding me.” you bite back. 

Jake's face flushes slightly, guilt flashing across his features. Your words hit him like a punch to the gut, reminding him of his own past behavior. He lets out a frustrated breath, his gaze dropping to the ground. "That was different..." 

“It’s not and you know it.” your head lowers as your mind goes back to your previous conversation, where you confessed your feelings for him and he shut them down quickly. Jake looks at you as your head lowers, regret in his eyes. He instinctively reaches out, gently placing a hand on your shoulder.

"Baby, please." His voice is soft, almost pleading. "Just let me talk for a minute." His touch is tentative, as if he's afraid you'll brush him away again. He wants you to hear him out, but he doesn't want to push you further away in the process. 

You’re taken aback by the pet name, allowing him time to speak. Jake notices the effect his words have on you, a flicker of hope sparking in his eyes. He realizes that he might have a chance to explain himself now.

He takes a deep breath and begins, his voice steady but sincere. "When you told me about your feelings, it took me completely by surprise. I didn't expect it at all. And, honestly, I didn't know how to handle it." His gaze drops to the ground for a moment, his hand lightly squeezing your shoulder. 

You take a deep breath, “Jake,” you move his hand from you. “The only reason you care now is because, because I’m finally *decent* enough for your attention.” 

Jake's expression darkens at your words, a mixture of anger and regret in his eyes. He knows your words carry truth, and it hurts. "That's not true." he protests, his voice tight. "If I'm here now, it's not because I suddenly think you're *decent enough*. It's because..." 

“Because what?” your eyes scan his face. 

Jake runs a hand through his hair, struggling to find the words to explain himself. His eyes lock onto yours, as he tries to convey the depth of his emotions.

"Because I realize now what an idiot I've been," he bursts out, his frustration and remorse clear in his tone. "But... something changed and I..." 

“What changed?” you sigh, Jake's eyes drop to the ground as he grapples with how to answer. He runs a hand through his hair before looking back up at you.

"I don't know," he admits, his voice quieter now, "maybe it was time, or realizing I'm not a kid anymore, but..." He takes a deep breath, steadying himself. "You're different now. You've grown, you've become this..." He gestures towards you, struggling to find the right words. 

“Jake stop..” you look up at him with wary eyes, “That's not fair,”

Jake stops, his eyes widening at your words. "What do you mean it's not fair?" He steps forward, confusion and frustration etched in his expression.

"I'm trying to explain myself, to make you understand why I care now," he says, his voice straining to remain calm. "How is that not fair?"

“Why? Why now?” your voice becomes louder with your growing frustration. Jake's own frustration flares up in response to your growing anger. His hands clench into fists at his sides as he tries to control his emotions.

"I can't explain why now!" he snaps, his voice rising to match yours. "I don't know why I didn't say anything before. I was a dumbass, and I'm sorry!" He runs a hand through his hair, his eyes never leaving your face. "I... I just wish I could go back and fix everything.” 

You open your mouth to speak, yet nothing leaves your lips. Jake notices your hesitation and his expression softens slightly, hope flickering in his eyes. He takes a step closer, his voice quieter now.

"Please. Just... say something. Anything." his hand snakes around your waist, pulling you closer, his hand pressing into the small of your back. You stay silent, unable to process his words and find a response. 

Jake's touch on your waist is firm but not overpowering. He pulls you closer, his eyes searching your face for some kind of response. He notices your silence, the way you seem to be frozen in place. His brow furrows with concern. "Please, talk to me," he pleads. "Don't just stand there." 

You cover his mouth with your hand, needing a second to think. Jake freezes as you place your hand over his mouth, preventing him from speaking any further for the moment. He instinctively responds to your touch, however, pressing a soft kiss against your palm.

His eyes fix on yours, full of hope and anticipation, waiting for you to speak. You feel your guard dropping with his affection, leaning into his body. 

Jake pulls you closer as you lean into him, his arms wrapping fully around you. The tension in the air eases slightly as he holds you tight against his body, his heart racing against your chest. He takes a deep breath, his chin resting on the top of your head. "Please, just talk to me," he whispers into your hair, his voice gentle and desperate. 

“Jake…” you press your forehead against his shoulder, “I..” Jake feels your forehead press against his shoulder, and he holds you a little tighter, his arms encircling you like a protective veil.

"Please," he repeats, his voice barely a whisper, "tell me what you're thinking." He gently tucks a finger under your chin, gently tilting your head up to meet his gaze. His eyes search yours, desperate for some kind of response. 

Your eyes glance to his lips, hands grasping his sides. “I, uh. I don’t know what to say,” your tongue flicks out to wet your lip. Jake's body tenses as he leans in towards you, his breath warm against your lips. He holds you tightly, his grip firm but gentle.

"You don't have to say anything," he murmurs, the corners of his lips barely brushing against yours, "Just... just let me show you." His eyes search yours, filled with a deep mixture of desire and vulnerability. Waiting for your response, for any sign that it's okay to proceed. 

“Jake..” you murmur, his breath hitches at the tone of your voice, the sound of his name on your lips sending a shiver down his spine. He leans in even closer, his lips mere millimeters from yours, his eyes locked on yours.

"Say it again," he whispers, his voice low and rough. "Say my name again." you shake your head in response,  pressing your lips to his. Jake's heart stutters at the touch of your lips against his. He responds immediately, the tension between you snapping as he kisses you back.

He molds his body against yours, one hand gripping your hip to pull you tighter against his chest. The other hand moves to the back of your neck, his fingers tangling in your hair. He kisses you deeply, a thousand unsaid words translated through the contact. 

Your desire momentarily outweighs your grudge against him. Your resistance fades further as Jake's hand slides down your back, his touch igniting a fire within you. He caresses your body with a combination of firm desire and tender finesse, as if he's both demanding and reverent.

His hand cups your ass, his touch a combination of possessive and loving. He pulls you even closer, pressing your body fully against his, his tongue delving deeper into your mouth. He kisses you hungrily, his body craving more, but his hands remain gentle and careful. 

Jake pulls back from the kiss, his forehead resting against yours. Both of you gasp for air, chests heaving as you take a moment to catch your breath.

His eyes remain locked onto yours, a mix of desire, hope, and something else - something deeper - swirling within them. His hands remain on your body, his touch possessive but tender. He runs his thumb over your cheek, a soft gesture of affection. "Say something," he murmurs again, his voice gruff with need. 

“I think,” you take a deep breath, “I think I should leave Jake.” your hands fall from his sides. 

As you speak, as those words leave your lips, something flickers in Jake's eyes. Fear, regret, desperation, all battling for dominance within him. He feels your hands fall away from his sides and his own hands tighten slightly on your hips, as if reflexively trying to pull you back.

"Please, don't go." His voice is thick with emotion, his grip on you bordering on pleading. "Please." your hands cup his cheeks, pulling him in for another deep kiss. Your brain constantly fighting the way your body clings to him. 

As your lips meet in another deep kiss, Jake melts into your touch like a man starved. His hands move to your waist, pulling you flush against his body, his touch firm and possessive.

He kisses you hungrily, his tongue delving into your mouth, seeking connection and reassurance. His heartbeat thuds against your chest, his body reacting to your touch with a mix of need and desperation. 

He doesn't want to let you go. Not now. Jake's body presses even closer against yours, his leg slipping in between yours, creating a tantalizing friction as he wedges himself between your thighs.

His hands roam your body, his touch both rough and tender, a manifestation of the emotions he can't quite find words for. His mouth moves down your neck, his kisses becoming more insistent, more possessive, like a man marking his claim.

He needs you, and he's making it painfully clear. You moan softly, your head leaning to the side to give him better access. Jake's hands grip your hips as he kisses your neck, his lips tracing a path of fire along your skin. The sound of your soft moans only emboldens him, his own body responding to your noises in kind.

You feel him harden against you, a physical reminder of his desire for you. His kisses grow more intense, his teeth gently nipping at your skin as he tries to reign in his self-control. 

He wants more. He needs more. He growls against your skin, his hands moving under your shirt, his fingers tracing up your sides. He nips lightly at your collarbone, his own need growing with each sound that leaves your lips.

“Mm Jake,” you push against his chest, “Wait.” Jake's body stills as you push against his chest, his mind still clouded with desire. He pulls back just enough to look at you, his eyes hazy and dark.

He tries to process what you're saying, his breath coming in short, ragged bursts. He swallows hard, trying to control his racing heart. "Wait... what?" His voice is low and hoarse, his body still pressed against yours, his hands gripping your hip. 

“Take me home,” you murmur, intoxicated by his body on yours. Your lips press to his with hunger, arms wrapping around his neck. Jake's brain struggles to process your words, his body still caught in the haze of desire that surrounds you both. But as your lips brush against his again, the sound of your voice, filled with need, cuts through the fog.

He responds to your hunger with his own, pulling you even closer, his arms wrapping around your waist. He deepens the kiss, his tongue sliding against yours, his body pressed completely against yours.

When the kiss finally breaks, he rests his forehead against yours, his voice a ragged whisper. "Yes. Anything you want." you nod against his head, pulling him closer as you’re unwilling to let him go. 

Jake holds you tight as you nod, his arms encircling you possessively, not wanting to let you go either.

He takes a moment to compose himself, taking a deep breath and trying to gather his thoughts. But the feeling of you in his arms, the sound of your voice, the scent of your skin, they all cloud his mind and make it difficult to do anything but touch you.

He nuzzles his face into your neck, his voice low and rough. "We need to go." 

“Mhm,” your hands wander down his chest, to his lower abdomen, moving to his belt. “We really need to,” Your touch on his body sets his nerves on fire, his muscles tensing under your hands as you move them lower. The feel of your fingers on his belt sends a shiver down his spine, his breath hitching at the contact.

He swallows hard, trying to maintain his composure, but your proximity and your touch make it difficult. He grips your hips tighter, his fingers digging into your skin as he tries to control himself. His voice, when he speaks, is a rough murmur. "Not here.”

You reluctantly pull away from him, handing him the keys from your pocket. Jake takes them from you, his fingers brushing against yours, the contact electric. He watches you pull away, his eyes following your movements closely.

He clenches the keys in his fist, the cold metal a stark contrast to the heat in his veins. His body thrums with need, the need to touch you, to hold you, to *claim* you.

He takes a deep breath, trying to compose himself. "Lead the way." you slide into the passenger seat of your car, putting your address into the gps, restlessly waiting for him inside. Jake slides into the driver's seat beside you, his movements quick and urgent. The sight of you in the seat next to him, the knowledge that he's about to take you home, only serves to heighten his desire.

He starts the car, his hand gripping the gear shift tightly, his knuckles turning white. He glances over at you, taking in your restless demeanor, and a smirk crosses his lips. He knows exactly how affected you are, and it only makes his own need surge. Your hand falls to his lap as you squeeze your legs together in anticipation of what's to come. 

Jake's breath hitches as your hand lands on his lap, the touch sending a jolt through his body. He can tell how tightly you're holding yourself, how the anticipation is affecting you, and it only adds to his own desire.

His eyes flicker down to your hand on his lap, and he has to fight the urge to pull the car over and take you right then and there.

He keeps his eyes on the road, his grip on the steering wheel white-knuckled. "We're almost there." His voice is hoarse, filled with tension. 

“Almost,” you whisper in response, moving your fingertips over his bulge, teasing his body. 

Your fingers brush over his erection, and he lets out a strangled gasp. His hand flies to yours, pressing your hand against him, as if trying to both stop you and encourage you at the same time.

He clenches his jaw, his body tensing at your touch. "Tease," he mutters through clenched teeth, his eyes darting from the road to you and back again. He groans, his body aching for release. You move closer, using your free hand to unbuckle his belt. 

You successfully remove his belt, fingers fumbling with the button and zipper. Jake's breath catches in his throat as you move closer, your hands working on removing his pants. His body tenses, both in anticipation and because he's trying to focus on driving.

He bites back another curse as you unbutton and unzip his pants, his eyes flickering between the road and your hands. He grips the steering wheel tighter, his knuckles white with tension. "We're almost there," he repeats, his voice strained. "Just... just hold on a little longer." 

“Fifteen more minutes,” you groan, hand sliding into his pants. Jake's body jerks at your touch, his hips lifting involuntarily, seeking more of your touch. He lets out a low, ragged groan, struggling to keep his focus on the road.

He looks at you, his eyes dark and intense. "Fifteen minutes," he repeats in agreement, his voice gravelly and rough, "that's it. I can last fifteen minutes." He reaches down, his hand covering yours, but not pushing you away, his touch firm and possessive. 

“Mm, but I can’t.” you murmur as you free him from his boxers, his erection standing straight up. Your words and your touch send a shiver down Jake's spine, his body responding to your every move. 

He closes his eyes for a moment, your touch like fire to his skin, the air in the car suddenly thick. "Jesus," he breathes, his head falling back, "you're going to make me crash."

As you stroke him gently, Jake's eyes fly open, his grip on the steering wheel tightening. "If you keep doing that, I'm not going to be able to drive," he warns, his voice strained with desire.

Ignoring Jake's warning, you lean in and press a soft kiss to his jaw, sending shivers down his spine. His body jolts with surprise and pleasure. Your hand continues to stroke him as your mouth moves closer to his erection, and with a strangled groan, he abruptly pulls the car over to the side of the road, the tires screeching against the pavement. 

His eyes lock onto yours, a mix of desire and alarm, but he says nothing as you wrap your lips around the tip of his cock, the heat of your mouth enveloping him. His hands fly to the back of your head, his fingers tangling in your hair as you begin to suck, the rhythm slow and tantalizing.

His hands grasp your shoulders, gently but firmly, and he pulls you away from his lap. "Wait, wee can't do this here," he says, his voice strained with need and concern. His eyes are dark with desire, but he's visibly fighting to regain control. "Not here, this wouldn’t be right." His words hang in the air, and for a moment, the only sound is the heavy panting of your breath and the pulsing of his erection against your hand. 

You reluctantly pull back, your own desire warring with the understanding in his gaze. "Let's go to your place," he suggests, his voice still thick with lust. "We can... talk things out properly there." He releases you, his hands dropping to the steering wheel as he takes several deep breaths, trying to calm his racing heart.

He speeds to your place, rushing to get you inside. The tension in the car is palpable as Jake shifts it into park, his eyes never leaving yours. You both exit the vehicle, and he takes your hand in his, his touch surprisingly gentle given the fiery passion that had flared between you moments ago. As you enter your townhouse, the urgency from the car seems to dissipate slightly, allowing for a brief moment of awkwardness to settle in. 

You unlock the door and lead him inside, the cool air conditioning a stark contrast to the heat that still simmers between you. Once the door is closed, Jake turns to you, his gaze searching your face for any hint of regret or hesitation. Seeing none, he leans in, capturing your mouth in a kiss that's both desperate and tender. 

Your arms wrap around his neck, pulling him closer, as if trying to erase the years of hurt and distance. His hands roam over your body, reacquainting themselves with your curves, and for a moment, it feels like no time has passed at all.

The kiss deepens, and Jake's hands move to the button of your pants, his fingers deftly undoing it and sliding the zipper down. You gasp into his mouth as he breaks the kiss, his eyes never leaving yours as he kneels before you. He hooks his thumbs into the waistband of your pants, pulling them down along with your underwear, exposing your bare skin to the cool air. 

His gaze travels downward, taking in your wetness with a mix of hunger and awe. "Fuck," he murmurs, his voice thick with desire, before pressing his mouth to your inner thigh, kissing and nipping the sensitive flesh as he moves closer to your center. His tongue traces the line of your pussy, eliciting a moan from deep within you. His hands grip your hips, keeping you in place as he kisses and licks you with purposeful strokes, the heat of his breath sending waves of pleasure through your body. 

You lean back, falling into the couch, your legs spreading wider, giving him full access to explore and taste you. The tension of the day dissipates as he worships your body, his mouth working magic on your clit, his hands exploring and caressing you as if trying to make up for lost time. The air is thick with the scent of arousal, the only sounds in the room your muffled moans and the wet sounds of his tongue against your skin. 

Jake's eyes meet yours again, and you can see the need in them, the raw desire that matches your own. You reach down, threading your fingers through his hair, urging him closer, whispering his name as you feel yourself getting closer to the edge.

As Jake continues to kiss and suck on your clit, you can't help but squirm against his mouth, the sensations building to an unbearable peak. You grab onto his shoulders for support, your moans growing louder with each passing moment. 

Suddenly, the dam breaks and you cum hard, your body shaking with the intensity of your orgasm. He doesn't pull away, instead, he laps up every drop of your release, groaning with his own pleasure at the taste of you. 

As the waves of pleasure subside, you collapse onto the couch, panting and trembling, your eyes fluttering open to meet his intense gaze. He stands, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, a smug look on his face. "See, we can still get along," he murmurs, his voice thick with lust. 

The sight of him standing there, looking so confident and desperate for more, makes your heart race. You can't deny the pull between you, the undeniable chemistry that's always been there. But as you look into his eyes, you know that this isn't just about sex. 

Jake's kisses slowly travel up your legs, turning from hungry to gentle pecks that make your skin tingle with sensitivity. His eyes never leave yours as he shifts his body, moving from his knees to the couch beside you. He wraps his arm around your waist, pulling you closer to him, and you can feel his heart racing in sync with your own. 

His other hand continues to trace patterns on your bare thigh, the softness of his touch a stark contrast to the fervor of moments ago. His eyes are filled with a tenderness that you never knew existed within him, and it's this that has your chest tightening with a mix of emotions. 

With trembling hands, Jake fumbles with his zipper, the metal teeth parting with a low hiss. His eyes never leave your face, the intensity of his gaze setting your skin alight. He swiftly pushes his pants down to his thighs, freeing his erection. It stands tall and proud, a testament to his desire. The room feels like it's closing in, the air thick with anticipation.

You pull him to you by his collar, kissing his lips hungrily. The fabric of his shirt is rough against your skin, but the heat of his body underneath is anything but. His tongue meets yours with an urgency that mirrors your own, your kisses deepening as his hand slides up your shirt, palming your breast. You arch into his touch, a soft moan escaping your lips as his thumb grazes your nipple.

He pulls you onto his lap, your legs straddling his thighs. He kisses you again, his tongue invading your mouth with a passion that leaves you breathless. You can feel him, hot and hard, pressing against your wetness, and it's all you can do to not grind down onto him immediately.

Jake's hands are everywhere, exploring the curves of your body as if he's worshiping a sacred relic. You can feel the heat of his breath against your skin as he kisses down your neck, leaving a trail of soft, sucking marks that make you shiver with pleasure. His teeth graze your skin, not hard enough to break it, but enough to leave a sting that makes your pulse race.

As your moans fill the quiet room, you can't help but move your hand to wrap around his erection. Your grip is firm, your strokes measured as you watch his face contort with pleasure. His eyes are closed, his head thrown back, and the noises he makes are pure, unadulterated ecstasy. You stroke him faster, your hand moving in a rhythm that matches the beat of your racing heart.

His hips buck upward, meeting your hand with each stroke, his breath coming in short, ragged pants. You can feel the tension in his body, the coiled spring of his muscles ready to snap. And when he's right there, on the precipice of climax, his head falls forward into the crook of your neck, his mouth finding your skin.

The feel of his needy moans against your flesh sends a shiver down your spine, your own body responding to the raw, primal sounds. You tighten your grip, your strokes becoming quicker, more erratic, your own breathing syncing with his. Each moan that escapes his lips is like a command, urging you to bring him over the edge.

His body tenses beneath you, his muscles tightening like a bowstring about to snap. And then it happens. With a guttural moan, he cums undone in your hand, his release hot and sticky as it coats your palm and fingers. His hips jerk upward, his cock pulsing in your grip as he rides out the waves of pleasure. His eyes squeeze shut, and his breath comes out in sharp gasps.

For a moment, there's silence, save for the sound of your own racing heart and his labored breathing. You sit there, still straddling him, watching him come down from the high of his orgasm. His chest is heaving, his eyes still closed as he savors the feeling.

You slide from his lap, relaxing into your couch as the weight of your actions crashes over you. You turn your back to him, biting your lip as you think about what to do next.

Jake watches you, his eyes tracing the curves of your body, still trying to regain his breath. He reaches out, his hand brushing against your arm, his touch gentle but insistent. "Look at me," he murmurs, his voice raspy and rough.

You turn to him with a breathy sigh, avoiding his gaze. Jake notices your averted eyes, his fingers moving to your chin, gently lifting it until you're forced to meet his gaze. 

"Don't look away," he whispers, his eyes searching yours. "I want to see you."

"Jake," you whisper his name, eyes softening at his expression. You knew it wasn’t a mistake, it couldn't be, not on your part. You've been in love with him your whole life, but what if it was all lust for him. 

Jake cups your face in his hands, his thumbs tracing the lines of your cheekbones. He can see the mixture of emotions in your eyes - love, lust, fear, and regret. He gently shakes his head, his gaze intense.

“Jake, is this really what you wanted?” you take a deep breath, “Not just some game to you?” 

Jake watches you intently as you withdraw, his hands falling to your waist, his touch firm yet gentle. "This isn't a game to me," he says, his voice serious. "It never was." 

He pulls you closer, his eyes locked onto yours. "I've always wanted you, more than anything else," he continues, his fingers tracing patterns on your skin. "But I thought I lost my chance with you a long time ago." he presses a soft kiss to your chest. 

The tension in your body vanishes the second he speaks, you relax into his touch, audibly sighing. “Always?”

Jake smiles, his hands roaming your body as if trying to memorize every contour. "Always," he confirms, his voice a whisper. "Since we were kids." He pulls you onto his lap, cradling you against his chest. He can feel your tension melting away, replaced by an air of comfortable intimacy.

“You’re confusing,” you sigh, feeling his hands pulling you closer to him, his chin resting on top of your breasts. 

Jake chuckles, his breath warm against your skin. "I know," he replies, his arms encircling you possessively. "I've always had a habit of making you scratch your head, haven't I?"

He nuzzles his face against your chest, his tongue tracing a gentle line between your cleavage. "But that's nothing new," he whispers, his voice husky with desire. "I've always gotten a kick out of confusing you."

You gasp in response to his tongue, hands squeezing his shoulders. “Mm, fuck.” Jake feels your hands clenching his shoulders, and he grins against your skin, his tongue continuing to explore the valley between your breasts. 

"Language, princess," he teases, his voice laced with amusement. "You know how I feel about filthy mouths."His lips move up to your neck, gently nipping at the sensitive skin. "Makes me want to shut you up."

“Are you going to be able to be professional at work?” your murmur, hands tangling in his hair as you force him to look at you.

Jake chuckles, his eyes meeting yours. "Are you kidding me?" he counters, his grin widening. "When have I ever been professional when it comes to you?"

He shakes his head, pulling you closer until your bodies are flush against each other. "I've been trying to hide how I feel about you for years. Do you really think now that I've finally got you in my arms, I'm going to play it cool at work?"

“Jake,” you purse your lips at him, pressing a quick peck to his. “You know that I already have a problem with your coworkers…I don't want to make it worse.”

Jake lets out a groan of frustration, his hands moving to the small of your back, pulling you even closer. "I know, I know," he mutters, his lips returning to your neck. "But can you blame me for acting like a possessive jerk? You've got all those guys drooling over you, and it drives me insane."

“They only drool over me because of how form fitting my uniform is,” you reply sweetly, “Now imagine if they saw me in a bikini.” you whisper against his ear teasingly. 

Jake's grip on you tightens, his breath hitching at your words. "A bikini," he repeats, his voice dropping an octave. "Now that's a mental image I'll have trouble getting out of my head."

He pulls back slightly to look at you, his gaze dark with desire. "You like teasing me, don't you?" he accuses, a smirk playing at the corners of his lips. "You know what that does to me."

“I think we need to take a beach trip one of these days,” you smile innocently.

Jake's hands continue to roam your body, his touch growing more possessive. "A beach trip?" he echoes, his mind already filling with images of you in a bikini. "That's a dangerous idea, princess."

He leans in, his lips moving to your ear. "But I like how you think," he murmurs, his voice low and seductive.

[thepixelelf]

Oh Baby, You - svt smau

The birth of your son three years ago was what caused your breakup with Wonwoo, your longtime (and at that point, long distance) partner. Now, you're getting concerned that Orion is starting to look a lot like his dad, but that's not your only problem. Wonwoo is back… and he's living across the hall.

Genres: smau, romance, drama, comedy, angst, single parent au

Pairing: jeon wonwoo x afab they/she reader x mystery member(s)

Warnings: coarse language, conversations about sex, mentions of pregnancy, mama/mom/mother is used to refer to reader's parental status sometimes, infidelity, light alcoholism, miscommunication as a plot device, some of the teenies are not so nice at times, slut shaming, angst, everything is unrealistically dramatic because this is basically a kdrama in text/twitter form. warnings may be updated as they come, but I will label chapters properly if it's anything major

Note: unfortunately, I did have to make the mc for this series have female reproductive organs because, well... that's the plot. I couldn't find a good way around it :( if anyone reading this is discouraged, please know that pretty much every other fic I've ever posted is gender neutral. So, if you think you might've liked this smau, please check out my masterlist! hopefully there will be something you like there :) ALSO! if anyone makes fun of Orion's name just know that it's the name of a precious baby cousin of mine and if you bully smau Orion you are bullying irl Orion!! do not touch him!!!

(new!) Updates will post when I have the time and motivation

The taglist is full! Leave a comment under the post linked here if you're not on the main taglist to be notified when Oh Baby, You is completed.

Profiles I: Orion's Prettyboy(gn) Posse

Profiles II: Wonwoo's Famous Friend and the Other Guys

Profiles III: Gyu and the Rise of Capitalism

1. Everybody Loves Vernon

2. Tens Among Tens

3. Grown Ass Men

4. I Hate This FUcking Family

5. The Ones Keeping Secrets

6. A LITTLE Curious

7. You Go Girl Get His Ass

8. The Calm

9. The Storm

10. It's Been a While

11. Fucked Up Coincidences

12. Not... a BAD Guy

13. Still So Affected

14. Just My Type

15. Nothing to Hide

16. Fists Up

17. Act Natural

18. Girl, They Blocked You

19. Plot Relevance

20. Actually it is a Date

21. It's All Pretty Confusing

22. Scripted

23. All it Takes is a Smile

24. Yoon Jeonghan is Watching

25. Completely Surrounded

26. No Such Thing

27. What Does That Mean

28. A Name I've Heard Recently

29. Can't Risk It

30. Errand Day

31. One Day at a Time

32. Confrontation

33. Not Looking to be a Parent Any Time Soon

34. What if I

35. For This Little Guy

36. Get Blocked

37. I'll Take Care of You

38. Messed Up, Stupid, and Jaded

39. You Fucked Up

40. That's For You to Figure Out

41. Need to Try Something

42. Recovery Mission?

43. Your Everything

44. You're Cute When You're Like This

45. Not Sponsored

46. This is Nothing

47. Promise? Promise

48. Hhrk

49. A Busy Afternoon

50. Cherry

51. Don't Freak Out

chapters loading...

52. Bad Guys

53. Everything is Fine

OBY Ask the Characters Game

[bluesylveon2]

Ortho vs a Teenage Girl and a 5-year-old Prince

Summary: When Ortho's hard work of trying to set up the Prefect with his brother is about to go down the drain by two kids. Disaster ensues! initial post

Notes: This is my first time writng for Twisted Wonderland so I hope that you enjoy! I used Yuu but this can be read as a x Reader too! Yuu/reader is a female!

Word Count: 4835

Disclaimer: I do not own Twisted Wonderland and its characters. Those belong to Aniplex, Walt Disney Japan, and Yana Toboso.

Warnings: possible ooc characters, not beta read, slight book 6 spoilers, references to the yasamina and sunset savanna events, irl references, Lilia wanting to be a grandpa, and some alcohol mentioned (Papa Crewel drinking wine)

Edit 7/31: sequel announcement post here! Now with Lilia vs Eric Venue, Marja, and Dylla!!

Family Day is the one day in Night Raven College when families are invited to tour the campus or visit their loved ones. The event itself was big since most students come from well-off families. However, sometimes some parents were too busy to show up, which was okay. One example is Idia and Ortho's parents. Both siblings didn't mind them not showing up. Idia preferred playing video games in his room but not Ortho. Ortho had a different plan involving the Ramshackle Prefect, Yuu. The Prefect has to be the toughest girl Ortho has ever met. Ortho has never met a girl who can defeat six overblots (one of them was his brother), wrangle a cat monster, and deal with Crowley's (bs) demanding jobs. 

Now Ortho was not dumb. He might be more human-like, but he could sense how much his brother's heart races when the Prefect talks to him or how his hair turns slightly pink when they play video games together. Ortho thinks Idia's feelings towards the Prefect grew after she and a few others broke into the Island of Woe to save their friends. Sadly, Idia has never acted on his feelings and prefers to stay on the sidelines and admire Yuu from afar. 

On the other hand, Ortho was not having it. He can see just how happy his brother is around Yuu. Plus, Ortho would gladly accept her as his sister-in-law. It's like hitting two birds with one stone!

Ortho made it his mission to mention his brother whenever he hung out with the Prefect. It can range from "Big Brother made a new invention" or "Big Brother wants to play a new game with you!" If Ortho can have some of Idia's friends play video games with him, he can surely set Yuu up with his brother. 

Of course, the Fates must have heard him and introduced two rivals during the school's annual Family Day. 

Who are his rivals? A teenage girl and a 5-year-old prince. 

---

Rival 1: Najma Viper

Ortho hummed as he glided down the hall of different families, searching for the Prefect. Luckily he had the whole day to put his plan in motion since his parents could not attend today's event, and Idia stayed in his room. According to Ace, who took Grim so they could prank his older brother, Yuu was handling different errands assigned by Crowley for Family Day. What would be the perfect way to spend Family Day with a (potential) sister by helping her and inviting her over to hang out with his Big Brother?

Ortho turned around a corner but stopped when he saw the Prefect occupied with a young girl. He moved closer to get a better look. 

"Jamil is very talented. He is smart, can cook, sing, and is a great dancer! You should see how happy he gets when he dances. He is the perfect guy!" The girl exclaimed with excitement in her eyes. 

Ortho froze. Jamil? The perfect guy? What in the Twisted Wonderland was going on here? He had a bad feeling about this. 

"He would be a great boyfriend for you. You should've seen how he kept staring at you when you visited the Scalding Sands," the girl adds, causing Yuu to blush. 

Ortho felt as if Tartarus froze over. "NO!" He suddenly yelled and flew out of his hiding spot.

Yuu and the other girl turn to Ortho. 

"No?" 

"I mean, no way! Jamil is so cool!" Ortho said in an attempt to save himself. Yuu and the girl both smile, causing Ortho to kick himself internally. He should be hyping his brother up, not Jamil! Ortho turned to the other girl. "I'm sorry. Let me introduce myself. Hi, I'm Ortho Shroud, a first-year, and Yuu's friend," he extended a hand to her. 

The girl shook his hand and had a pleasant smile on her face. "Hi Ortho, I'm Jamil's sister, Najma." Najma seemed kind, but Ortho was not buying it. If Ortho knew anything about Jamil, Najma must be good at hiding her true feelings. "Say, Ortho, since you seem to know my brother, would you agree that he is talented?"

"I guess I can agree with you there," Ortho said while reflecting on Jamil's performance at the VDC.

Najma's eyes furrow slightly, "You guess?" She turned to Yuu, "What do you think, Yuu? Don't you think that he is talented? Or handsome? Or both?" she smirked.

Yuu hesitantly laughed, "Well-" her eyes scanned the hall until she spotted a familiar mop of white hair. "Kalim!"

Kalim turned to the trio and smiled brightly, "Yuu! Najma! Ortho! What are you all doing here?"

"Just catching up," Najma replied instantly and turned to Kalim with a devious look, "Say, Kalim, what do you think are my brother's best features?

Kalim hummed in thought before responding. "Well, he is a good dancer, can cook, and is very strong! He once told me he is as strong as ten men!" 

"Whoa," Yuu replied with awe, and Najma smiled proudly. 

"Give Big Brother a day, and he can be stronger than one hundred men with an invention," Ortho muttered. The others were too busy to notice Ortho float off to search for his brother. Jamil may be talented, but his Big Brother is that and more! He had to drag him out of his room first to show it. 

Ortho was at the Mirror Chamber when he noticed someone enter from Scarabia's door. He saw the frantic look on Jamil's face and made his way to him.

"Jamil! How are you?'

"Fine," the boy replied, searching the room for something or someone.

"Are you looking for someone?" Ortho asked and innocently tilted his head to the side. 

"In fact, yes. I'm looking for Kalim and my little sister, Najma. She looks a little bit like me but shorter."

"Oh, that was your sister! I saw her with Kalim earlier! They were talking to Yuu, nearby one of the first-year classrooms. I can lead the way for you if you want." Vil would be proud of his acting skills if he could see him now.

"Great Sevens, those two," Jamil sighed out of relief. "Please."

The two trek through the school with Orthro leading. Jamil could not see the glee in the boy's eyes. If he removed Najma from the picture, he could have Yuu all to himself and use the time to praise his Big Brother! Ortho mentally high-fives himself for the genius plan.

"Jamil is also really good at basketball. You should have seen when he made the winning shot against RSA," Kalim's voice echoed, causing Jamil to walk faster. 

"NAJMA! KALIM!" Jamil called out once they were in his sight. "Stop annoying the Prefect. We need to get back to Scarabia for the party."

Najma's face lights up with an idea, "We can invite Yuu!"

Jamil rolled his eyes and grabbed the two by the back of their shirts, "No, this party is for both our parents and Kalim's siblings. We will be late if we do not leave right now." Jamil stopped his scolding and turned to Yuu. "I'm so sorry about them, Prefect. I don't want them to interrupt your day."

Yuu laughed, "It's alright. They were telling me some things about you."

Jamil's eyes widen in horror, "WHAT?" 

"I didn't know you once faced a hundred bad guys with swords before."

Jamil turned to the duo in his hands, then Yuu, then back at them again. His face became red as Riddle's hair as the seconds passed, "We are leaving!"

"But Jamil!" Kalim and Najma whine.

"NO BUTS! We are leaving before you feed Yuu more lies," He dragged the two down the hall and back to Scarabia.

"None of that were lies though!" Kalim's voice echoed.

"I've see the way you look at her and it is sad to watch. You needed the help anyway!" Najma added.

"No, I don't!" Jamil replied. The trio's voices became quieter until they were out of sight. 

Ortho and Yuu stood in silence. After some time passed, Ortho glanced over at Yuu.

"Big Sister, based on the changes in your heart, I can tell you are feeling sad. Is something wrong?" Ortho asked and noticed the sad look on the Prefect's face. The Prefect's eyes widen from getting caught. 

"Yeah. It's just…watching Jamil and Najma interact reminds me of my younger siblings back home. Sometimes I feel lonely watching everyone interact with their families." 

"How many siblings do you have?'

"A younger brother and a younger sister. You know, Ortho, you remind me of my little brother." Yuu smiled and ruffled Ortho's hair. Ortho's eyes became bright with joy.

"Thank you, Big Sister. You might feel lonely now, but most people here consider you family. For example, Ace and Deuce."

Yuu laughed, the corners of her mouth turning upward slightly. "They are like brothers to me, always getting into trouble but loveable at the same time."

"See!"

"I can't forget the Ramshackle ghosts, the rest of the Heartslabyul guys, and the professors!"

"Yeah, so you may miss your family sad, but you still have people around you who consider you their own. You won't be lonely until Crowley finds you a way home!"

Yuu smiled, "You're right, Ortho. Come here." she opened her arms to him in a hug that Ortho immediately flew to. "Thank you, Ortho, for cheering me up." She lets go of the boy and looks around the hallway. "By the way, where is Idia? I haven't seen him all day."

"Oh!" Ortho replied, unaware of the pitter-patter of the child's feet getting louder and louder. "He wanted me to tell you about the new Star Rogue game that just came out. Big Brother wants you to"

"Auntie Yuu!"

----

Rival 2: Cheka Kingscholar

Ortho wished that kicking a 5-year-old kid across the island would not be a high-risk thing to do. His parents had already dealt with the damage caused by him and his big brother on the Island of Woe. The last thing his parents need is to deal with the royal family of Sunset Savanna.

Still, Ortho has got to be one of the few people who can say one of his rivals is a kindergartener. A child, for crying out loud! An annoying child who has been clinging to the Prefect, talking her ear off about how great his Unca Leona is, and is using his big brown eyes (that reminded Ortho of the toddler's eyes from a popular babysitter's anime Idia loves) to increase his cuteness by 100%.

"Give me five seconds, and I can increase my cuteness by 1000%. Big Brother recently installed a program to do that," Ortho muttered to himself while glaring at the newest addition to the group. He could use that feature to his advantage. Still, the child will not give him the opportunity by choosing to wrap himself around her waist and staying there like a koala. 

"Cheka! What are you doing here, and where are your attendants? Yuu frantically asked and looked around for them. The last thing she wanted to do was get on the royal family's bad side. 

"I couldn't wait to see you, Auntie, so I left them all behind! Hee hee!"

Yuu's mouth opened from shock. "we need to find them right away!"

Cheka didn't share the same feelings as Yuu and instead just laughed it off, "We could find Unca instead. Did you know that he is very cool and strong? He has so many friends that we all played together once. He even made me fly!"

Yuu could only respond in a confused tone. Ortho felt his patience run thin from the young prince. 

"I'm sorry, Prince Cheka, but Yuu is busy right now." Ortho tried to pry the cub off Yuu, but Cheka refused to let go. He could try to use more force, but it can lead to a torn uniform and an unhappy Professor Crewel. 

Ortho's words fly past Cheka's ears, "Not now! This is an emergency!" the young prince turned and glared at Ortho.

Oh, he is going down! Give him a few seconds, and he could blast the child out of existence!

"An emergency?" Yuu asked, unaware of Ortho's hair looking Idia's when he gets angry. 

"You must marry my Unca because he loves you and wants to be with you forever!"

Yuu laughed and moved her arms around to carry Cheka, "Did your Uncle tell you that?" she asked while imaging the grumpy lion down on one knee and asking her to marry him. 

Cheka nodded his head so fast. "Of course! He wants you to be his princess! If you marry him, then you can be my Auntie. Then we can all spend each day playing!"

Ortho, who was starting to get annoyed, immediately butted in, "Big Sister! If you do that, then your other family will miss you! Big Brother will miss you too!"

Cheka glared at Ortho again. He turned to Yuu and increased his cuteness by pouting his lips, "Unca Leona loves you, Auntie! He can die from heartbreak if you're not with him!"

Ortho rolled his eyes, "Your uncle won't die."

"You don't know that! You're the only one who can make him happy! Auntie, Unca Leona is so sad without you! We can't let Unca cry!"

Yuu hesitantly laughed, "I'm pretty sure your Uncle has other things that make him happy."

"But would you consider marrying him to make him happier?" Cheka asks, his eyes glistening with tears. Ortho rolled his eyes again. 

"I think we are too young to get married?"

"In the future, then?"

Ortho had enough. "That's it! Prince Cheka, Big Sister is busy right now, and she needs to go." He flew over and grabbed one of Yuu's arms to pull her away. 

Cheka leaped out of Yuu's remaining arm and grabbed it to pull, "No, she is going with me!"

"No, she needs to see my big brother!" pull.

"No, she must see my Unca! He will cry if he never sees her." pull.

"He. Will. Not. Die!" pull.

"Well, I bet my Unca is cooler than your brother. He can drive his car through land and sea*!" pull.

"Oh yeah? Well, my brother can take apart a blastcycle, customize it with a functional value, AND drive it!" pull.

"Oh yeah? My brother can fly a flying carpet! That takes a lot of skill to master." Najma added, materializing out of nowhere after she escaped from her brother. She pulled Ortho and Cheka's hands off of Yuu and glared at them.

Ortho groaned, "Not you again!"

The three began to argue about which of their family members was better and left Yuu off to the side.  

Yuu's arms were now sore from all the pulling, and she could feel a headache forming. Despite this, Yuu could not stop a small smile from forming on her face. She blinked once and saw her younger siblings arguing instead of her friends. The argument was both cute and an annoying thing to watch. 

 "ENOUGH!" Yuu yelled, causing everyone to stop arguing. "You all need to stop arguing because it is not helping me pick a side."

"Exactly. You three are causing a ruckus on school grounds," A stern voice added. Everyone turned around to find Professor Crewel glaring at them. Najma and Cheka tremble from the professor's gaze. "You pups need to apologize to Yuu for the incoming headache and disrupting the school."

Ortho, Najma, and Cheka give each other a look and nod, "We're sorry, Big Sister/Yuu/Auntie."

Yuu smiled, kneeled, and opened her arms for a hug. "I forgive you," she says, and the three children join in on the group hug. Crewel smiled at the sight before clearing his throat to get their attention.

"Yuu, can you help me sort the potions in my office?" He asked and tapped his pointer three times against his palm. 

"Of course," she stood up. "You three be good now," Yuu ruffled the children's hair and headed towards Crewel's office. 

Crewel turned towards Ortho, "Shroud. I want you to bring these two back to their respective dorms. You can help guide them back."

Ortho sighed, "Yes sir," he replied, looked at the other two, and flew off towards the Mirror Chamber. "My brother is the coolest, though," he whispered to himself, but Cheka, having enhanced hearing, heard it all.

"My Unca is cooler plus 100."

Najma rolled her eyes, "You mean times 100? Anyways, my brother is cooler times 1000."

The three could not help the laugh escaping their lips. They will cease fire for now. The winner can be chosen another day. 

----

"-uu. Yuu." Crewel called out and shook Yuu's body to wake her up. 

Yuu groaned but opened her eyes to the bright light of Crewel's office. Her body was on his red leather couch, Grim snuggled beside her, and his thick coat acted as her blanket. 

"You need to wake up. The sun has already set, and I want you to get some sleep tonight," Crewel said softly and stood up to walk to his desk. The campus sounded quiet except for the crickets chirping outside. 

Ah, so Family Day is over. 

"When did Grim show up?" Yuu asks through a yawn. She sits up, picks up Grim, and places him on her lap.

"About an hour ago. He was already knocked out when Trappola brought him here," Crewel picked up a neatly wrapped box on his desk and walked back to the Prefect. "These are for you." Yuu grabbed the box and immediately opened it. Inside was an assortment of cookies and chocolates that looked too expensive for Yuu. "Since your actual family is not here for Family Day, I wanted to give you this to celebrate it. Feel free to share it with your friends,"

Yuu could feel tears forming. She used to feel alone after she crashed the entrance ceremony, but not anymore. Yuu now has people who love her despite the possibility of her leaving. She appreciates all he does as someone she views as a father figure in Twisted Wonderland. Crewel's gift may not be as grand as her whole family showing up, but the small things count. 

"Thank you so much," she placed Grim and the gift down and stood up to hug the man. 

Crewel smiled, "You're welcome, Yuu." he pulled away. "Now get some rest, or else you might give the Pomefiore students a heart attack if you show up with eyebags."

Yuu laughed, "Of course," she grabbed Grim, the box, and headed out the door. Yuu smiled at her memories from today as she walked back to Ramshackle. She enjoyed reuniting with Najma and Cheka despite their arguing with Ortho over who she should hang out with. 

Why were they so persistent about it? Yuu thought to herself when it suddenly hit her.

"I forgot about Idia!" Yuu exclaimed. Her movement caused Grim to mumble something in his sleep. Yuu tucked Grim over her shoulder and ran toward the Mirror Chamber when she saw the guy in question heading her way. 

"Idia!" Yuu called out with glee. It had been a long day for her, so seeing him made her smile. "Where have you been all day? I wanted to hang out with you."

Idia blushed and started sweating, "Y-you did? I was in my room since my parents did not show up today. I was actuallywaitingonyousowecouldplaythisnewgametogether." Idia mumbled the last part so fast that Yuu could not understand it. 

"I'm sorry. I missed the last part?" 

"I said I was waiting for you to play the new Star Rogue together. I asked Ortho to get you, but he returned without you."

Yuu laughed nervously, "Ah, that. Yeah, a lot of stuff happened, and Ortho was busy." She replied, unaware of Idia's increasing heartbeat caused by the Prefect's adorable laugh. 

Idia imagined there was a meter beside him, and it kept growing every time the Prefect did something cute (read: that is a lot of things). There's a limit that could cause it to explode. 

Idia avoided Yuu's stare by looking at the fancy box in the girl's hands. His eyes lit up in excitement. "Where did you get the sweets from?"

Yuu smiled. "Professor Crewel!" Saying his name made his earlier words replay in her mind. Suddenly, her face lit up like she had an idea. "Hey, Idia. Why don't you and Ortho come over to Rhamshakle for a sleepover? We can play Star Rogue and eat these sweets together."

Cue the meter beside Idia, exploding into a million pieces. Now Idia was red, frozen, and unsure about what to do. 

Yuu waved a hand across Idia's face. "Hey, are you okay?"

"YES!" Idia squeaked out and cleared his throat. "I mean, yeah. I don't mind having a sleepover at Ramshackle tonight."

Yuu squealed from excitement. "Yay!" She jumped with glee. Suddenly, she tucked the candy box under one arm, used her other arm to grab Idia's shoulder, and tiptoed to kiss his cheek. 

Idia.exe has stopped working. Oh yeah, Idia was VERY red now, and his hair turned a bright shade of pink. 

Is this how the MC feels when they get kissed by a love interest? Idia thought to himself like he was in an otome game. He could see the intimacy meter between him and Yuu go up.

"I'm so excited! I will go ahead and set up the lounge. You can grab Ortho and whatever else we need for the sleepover. We can meet up in my dorm after we get everything."

"S-s-sounds good," Idia gave a tiny thumbs up, which was the best he could do then. 

"See you then!" Yuu called out and headed back towards Ramshackle with a pep in her step. Once Yuu was out of sight, Idia pulled out his tablet to connect to Ortho. 

"Hello, Big Brother! Do you need something?" 

Idia could not articulate anything. First, his crush invited him to her dorm, and then she kissed him. The Prefecf actually KISSED HIM on the cheek. 

"THEPREFECTKISSEDME!!" 

"What? Did you say that Big Sister kissed you?"

"Just on the cheek, but it still counts! The UR character actually took an interest in boring old me! Ortho, I need you to get things for our sleepover with the Prefect…."

Ortho chose to not listen to his brother rambling. All he could hear was that he was victorious. 

"Oh, Big Brother," Ortho smiled after Idia was done. "I am so happy for you."

Score: Ortho: +1, Najma: 0, Cheka: 0

----

Earlier in Savanaclaw: 

"UNCA!!!!" Cheka yelled as he barged into Leona's room, left the door open, and pounced on Leona's stomach. Leona let out an 'oof' and glared at his nephew. He sat up, let his blankets fall, and allowed Cheka to sit on his lap.

"Why are you in my room? You're interrupting my nap." 

"You need to marry Yuu, or you could die!" Cheka exclaimed while jumping on Leona's body.

Leona rolled his eyes, "I will not die, kid."

Cheka stopped jumping and leaned toward Leona's face, "You don't know that, so you need my help to impress her!"

Leona pushed Cheka's face away, "Look, furball, I do not need any help to impress Yuu. She can take one look at me and realize that is all she needs." Leona was too prideful to say it aloud, but he grew to like the herbivore. Has she been clueless to him affections her? Yes but he refuses to ask his nephew, of all people, for help.

Cheka blinked and stared at his uncle's face, "You need more than that, Unca!"

Leona groaned in annoyance. Cheka was too stubborn not to give up, and Leona was tired. Leona contemplated his next step when he heard familiar footsteps approaching his door. 

Ah, it is about time for Ruggie to come to pick up his laundry. 

"Hey, Leona! You better have your laundry somewhat neat." His voice called out, slowly getting louder as he got closer.

Leona grabbed the back of Cheka's shirt, "Hey Cheka, I'll let you help me if we play a game first."

Cheka's eyes lite up in glee, "Oh! What game?"

As Ruggie walked into Leona's doorway, Leona picked up Cheka and threw him at Ruggie's face.

"What the" Ruggie exclaimed and managed to catch the laughing Cheka. Leona quickly jumped up and walked to his balcony. 

"I'll leave him to you. Don't go looking for me." Leona called back. 

"Hey!" Ruggie runs after him, but it is too late. Leona already jumped off and gracefully landed on the ground. He walked out, leaving Ruggie and Cheka alone in the dorm room.

Cheka turned to Ruggie with a bright grin, "Let's do it again!"

Ruggie could only sigh. This will be a long day.

Bonus: 

"Father, when you said there was an emergency, I did not think makeup would be the reason." Silver's legs started to feel numb as Lilia rubbed some eyeshadow on his eyelids. Earlier, Lilia was adding different makeup powders to the boy's face, so he had to resist the urge to sneeze. 

"Hush, Silver! Master Lilia requires us to sit here for hours getting for…what is it for actually?" Sebek's face contoured in confusion despite his eyes being closed for his eyeshadow. 

"Fufufu the Prefect needs to be starstruck by your looks that she will say yes if either of you asks for her hand in marriage."

"MARRIAGE?!" Silver and Sebek exclaimed at the same time, their eyes opening wide. Sebek's scream caused some of the photos on Malleus' wall to shake. 

"Hush, you two. You will ruin the hard work I spent hours on." Lilia replied and threw some glitter at his son's faces as a finishing touch. Malleus opened his eyes and glanced at Lilia.

"I understand why you want to dress up and use makeup to impress the Child of Man, but are three people required for this?" 

"Of course! The more people, the better, and I need only one of you to succeed. Now look at yourselves." Lilia stepped away so the trio could look at themselves in the mirror. "Do you or do you not feel bonita?"

The trio gave each other a confused look. None of them heard of that word before. Lilia may have picked up some of Rook's weird language.

"We feel bonita?" They replied, sounding more like a question than a statement. Lilia clapped his hands together and smiled brightly. He heard about the multitude of people with similar goals as him. He needed to act fast, or else it would be too late. If there's one thing the fae learned from his gamer friend, Gloomurai, is that otome games have multiple suitors for the MC. From Lilia's perspective, throwing all three of his sons into the competition for Yuu's heart would lead to a good ending for him. Lilia finished his plan by walking over to the vanity and handing them all a ring box. 

"Wonderful because you look bonita!" Despite his small stature, the man stood behind his sons and pushed them out the door. "Now go and woo the Prefect! Don't return until I see a ring on her finger and a promise of future grandchildren!" Lilia called out before slamming the door in their faces. 

The trio stared silently at the door, trying to understand what had happened. Luckily, Malleus decided to break the awkward atmosphere.

"Now what?"

Additional Rivals: Malleus, Silver, and Sebek

---

Professor Crewel cannot believe he is saying this, but he understands Professor Trein's stress in raising children. Who knew that caring for (more like adopting) a magicless human would attract so many mutts to her? Crewel had to admit that his daughter was beautiful (thanks to his hard work), but couldn't it have been from someone who was not as horrible as them? The man could only count a few decent guys with one hand, but they were not enough for his pup. His pup deserved the best. 

Crewel sat on his sofa and snacked some crackers topped with raisin butter. Earlier, he had to save his pup from a group of children using their secret code. Then, he saw the older Shroud boy speak to his daughter as she walked back to Ramshackle.

The man sighed. He opened his wine fridge to grab a bottle of red wine, a glass from the cabinet behind him, and poured himself a drink. Whoever his pup picks better be the right one for her. Until then, he will watch the lovesick mutts fight each other for her attention. Crewel swirled the red wine around and drank it all in one go. He could feel the stress already forming from the imaginary image of the mutts fighting on school property, Crowley barging into classrooms, and the overblots were already making a dent in the school's budget. Teenage boys and property damage would make it even worse. 

Crewel eyed the bottle one more time before making a decision. He may need a stronger drink. 

©: This story belongs to bluesylveon2. Do not modify or republish

Sorry for the wait but the fic is now here! I hope that yall enjoyed it :)

* - the "sea" Cheka is referring to is a giant puddle Leona drove through during his Sunset Savanna event card vignette

Taglist: @nanograms, @krispyenthusiastkitten, @strawberrycaramelcapybara, @mochiclouds, @kitty-page, @fancyhawk45, @xxoomiii, @kiyoyachisimp, @arisdelssy, @rainbowcake1212, @forgwater, @justyoureverydaytwstsimp, @savanaclaw1996, @shrimpsterprefect, @that-creepy-girl-000, @penguinmilo, @tingerines, @julessketchbook, @i-am-the-avatar-of-idiocy, @booming-spam, @nekanecorvus, @glacticrose, @the-dumber-scaramouche, @imakeeggswet, @hatshroom, @lunarapple, @simp-simp-no-mi, @the-hearteater, @aroseyhyena, @vitaniangel-blog, @nxyll34, @everettelz

[rainbowchaox]

Pissa Reunion Masterpost: (Literally there’s so much content we got this is gonna be hella long pls help me)

FIRST OFF YA DONTCHA SEE WHY THE PISSA NATION IS LOCO OVER THIS DUO? WE HAVE BEEN STARVING. PHILZA ALWAYS BEEN LOYAL TO ONE WET CAT! And that is Missa. And secondly I got most of the earlier half of stream information from the lovely @pepper-mintzyy. Give your liveblogger some love and care.

First off the scene where Missa comes online and Phil is all “WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN?!?!” And Cellbit immediately saying “Oh this your husband?” And Phil immediately saying yes without the platonic. THEN THEY PROCEED TO HAVE A FULL BLOWN BOAT DATE with legit felps being such a third wheel he legit says “Continue on forget I’m here”. Also the fact Cellbit pointed out “OH that’s why you have a skull on your backpack it’s because of your husband” and Phil immediately agreeing and Missa whimpering.

They literally like lowkey forgot they were on a mission and immediately was smitten with each other they high-key forgot the mission and people around them. The fact our wet cat almost dead rushed in to save Mr hardcore himself. The amount of times Phil has to save his husband. The fact Missa bought gifts for Philza IRL.

The fact when catching up Phil was all like “Oh we have another egg” not even thinking twice about accepting his husband as Tallulah second adopted father. The fact Missa was like “You are such a good father” in the down bad voice he is always in.

Literal highkey their cubitos flirting saying smooth shit like “Like the good old days" "nothings changed” and "the one thing that made you stand out". Like full on giggling and laughing and just chilling in each other company. The amount of time they were distracted by the actual major lore by each other just being there after so long is insane. Honestly believe not for others present they would not have reached the objective.

Phil being so sweetly protective of Missa and always making sure he is right next to him. Also the amount of soft showing off he did towards Missa is insane. The fact Phil numero uno priority is Missa and chayanne always. That has never changed despite Missas absence. The fact Missa never left his simpage for Philza and immediately seeing Phil be awesome and is “I c-can see your PECS”. Like bruh he is so down bad.

The fact Philza immediately seeing his husband getting wrecked by mobs decided then and there to give him SO MUCH GEAR LATER. Philza lanuage of love Definitely is Gift Gifting and Acts of service. The fact during Philza introduction to the new players Missa kept saying stuff like “That’s my love! that’s my love!”.

Missa soon had to leave to be a part of a Minecraft event of sorts. But right after he got back online because he wanted to se his husband and son. (Sadly chayanne already went to bed). The amount of miscommunication the death duo went through (With mainly bad being a third wheel and trying to cause problems in their relationship). Landduo was legit preventing poor Missa to go and see his man.

Missa literally only escaped because dapper told him just ask and he will kill LOLOLOL. He went home and forever and him had a whole conversation and apology. That they are friends now. Missa saying stuff Philza is not someone to be won etc. and Philza literally ditched tubbo and Cellbit was like “Your husband needs help? Understandable” and yet again no corrections from Phil.

THEN THE MOST SOFTEST ROMANTIC LATE STREAM STUFF I HAVE EVER SEE HAPPENS. They met again and literally it’s like nothing has changed. Phil immediately showing off the baby skeletons because he knows Missa will enjoy the skeletons. Phil FINALLY giving Missa the slime armor he made for him ages ago.

I won’t lie watching it live gives off major date vibes (obviously about their cubitos in rp). Phil and Missa legit did that trope of someone good at archery teaching their love interest at the exp farm. They legit shared exp as well. The fact they keep giggling so much.

Philza seeing how bad the gear Missa has literally have him 20 upgrades including giving him a full bar of exp on his backpack. Again gift giving and acts of service is clearly Philza love lanuage. LITERALLY MISSA STARED AT THE SKULL AMD NODDED QUICKLY TO HIS CHAT. The amount of avocado toast Phil keeps throwing at Missa and putting in his backpack. Gotta know his husband is eating well I guess. Philza casually saying that the “Wall is ours” to Missa.

The fact Missa immediately wanted to have a hat like Philza on his backpack then a player head of his to match his beloved husband. Earlier he tricked the translator and said “I speak weird so the translator won’t pick it up- I love you”. Casually like that sentence didn’t break all the pissa enjoyers brain for 24 hours.

Dapper casually saying “Glad to see the love birds are on the mend” about them. Literally one of us. Iconic king. THE FACT Philza while talking about Tallulah said she was “Our Daughter” to Missa. Bad trying to cause drama meeting the brick wall of Missa adoration. Aka him screaming “Philza the best!!!!”. The fact they both tried to go offline the same but Missa felt bad and had to said bye to everyone. The fact Missa went offline right next to the house.

WE WERE FEED. PISSA NATION STAYS WINNING! And we are gonna continue to get food. As Missa promised to try to stream four times a week. So maybe maybe….second gay Qsmp wedding-

[lowkeyrobin]

Think you could write about quacks and his s/o bonding over qsmp? Like they start as friends and then as their characters bond they realize not only the avatars are catching feelings but themselves too? So when qsmp meets up irl it’s all tense because of their obvious crush

ooooo yes of course!! ; thank you for the req !! ; present/future robin here I failed the mission I got totally sidetracked w this I'm so sorry LMFAO

QUACKITY ; platonic romantic partners

summary ; you and Alex meet on the QSMP and develop weird feelings just before the Brazil meetup

warnings ; language

genre ; fluff

word count ; 1.2k

masterlist

You'd been invited to the QSMP a few months ago, joining with Tubbo, Niki, and some other content creators you didn't know. You were a fairly small streamer, having a few thousand Twitch followers and a couple hundred subs.

Quackity decided to allow you on the server because some of the eggs were begging him to add you because Charlie Slimecicle had made you canon in lore. They wanted to meet the God by the name of Y/n terribly, so he sighed and reached out to you asap. He'd been planning the prison lore and had been working hard, and did a lot of research on you.

You'd been friends with Tubbo and Niki for a long while, and streamed with them here and now. You often did trio streams on Minecraft or did method acting streams for the laughs. Once they heard Alex might let you in to the SMP with them, they were jumping with joy.

But, thankfully, you were allowed in.

You'd started working on a weird star-crossed lovers / slowburn romance storyline with Alex, corny and cheesey, but thankfully contrasting to many of the other romance storylines on the SMP so far.

As your character arcs grew and progressed, so did you as people. You both began to realize that there was very undeniable romantic tension in the room and at the perfect timing, considering the Brazil meetup was right around the corner. You noticed not long after both Niki and Tubbo called you out on the "symptoms of loving Quackity" that Twitter and Tumblr had created the y/s/n tag. You were opened to a whole new world of fanfiction and fanart, which was no doubt adorable.

But, again, that meetup was right around the corner. You couldn't wait to meet your new friends, yes, but you were scared and worried that you'd make everything awkward with Alex. But, hopefully, it'd be a fun ride meeting up with your platonic boyfriend for the first time, and you'd make some amazing memories with all these people you'd met on the way here.

Quackity posted a tweet!

You quickly click on the notification, revealing the post already gathering hundreds of likes.

"Meeting my partner in Brazil soon ❤️"

You smile, quickly typing a response.

"what partner? 🤨🤨🤨"

🪼⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🪼⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🪼⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🪼⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🪼⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

You wrap Quackity in a tight, warm hug, both of you bouncing off the walls at the mere sight of each other.

"Hi, platonic partner!" He giggles, jumping up and down as you two bounce in circles.

"Hi, platonic boyfriend!"

After that, the meetup was totally awkward. You both were obviously crushing on each other, but in an oh-so-typical fashion, didn't realize the others' feelings.

Tubbo stares down at you, trying to either catch your attention or intimidate you as you sit on the couch with Jaiden and Niki. You look up, seeing the brunette boy staring into your soul.

"Hello, Tubbo"

"Y/n. Go flirt with Quackity. I'm delivering a message"

"What?" You blink, glancing over at Alex standing with Roier, Cellbit, Etoiles, Foolish, and Tina across the room. "Why?"

"Because you've both been very awkward this whole time and it's obvious there's lingering sexual tension and it's annoying everyone that he won't make a move so I'm trying to get you to do so" He quickly speaks, hands heald behind his back.

You slowly look over at Niki and Jaiden, looking to you with wide smiles, like they were begging you to do it. You roll your eyes and groan, standing up with the help of Tubbo's outstretched hand, accepting the challenge.

"Hell am I even saying to him?" You question, running a hand through your hair due to the nerves.

"Ask him out." The three speak in unision.

"Oh, yeah, it's as easy as that," You sarcastically remarks.

You catch his gaze across the room, his sunglasses resting on top of his hat. You lightly wave with an awkward smile, which he sends right back, a little bit of red dusting his face. You feel your face warm up as you quickly look away, staring daggers into Tubbo's eyes.

"Nevermind, pal" You speak, sitting your ass right back down as you were to embarrassed after that interaction.

"Shit!"

🪼⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🪼⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🪼⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🪼⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🪼⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

The following day, you were out on a walk near the beach with Alex, Cellbit, Tina, Niki, and Roier. Tina and Roier were picking up damn near any seashell they could find, hosting a contest of who could find the better shells for Cellbit. Both of them were basically racing down the sand, yards ahead of the rest of you.

Niki and Cellbit chatter with Quackity about God knows what. Meanwhile, you were taking pictures of them and the beautiful scenery around you. You select about four or five to post to your Instagram, and title it 'platonic boyfriend made it awkward /hj. I don't wanna leave this beautiful place'. You click post and go to the QSMP Brazil Meetup Discord, and send the pictures to the photos channel for anyone in the pictures who wanted to save them.

You put your phone away for a while, drifting behind the trio as you slow your pace, having found a crab and wanting to look for some buried shells in the sand. You feel your phone buzz a few times, either being Instagram or Discord notifications. You ignore it, wanting to soak in the fresh, salty ocean air and the feeling of sand sticking to your hands and falling into the crevices of your shoes and socks.

While you catch up to the others about a football field away at this point, you take your phone out, wanting to check what those buzzes were. Instagram, not so surprisingly. But what was surprising was them being comments from Quackity.

'what if I didn't want you to only be my platonic partner 🤨 what then???'

'y/n please catch up to us they're bullying me now'

You read Niki and Roier's replies, smiling as you do so.

'y/n/n he's crying because he wants to be with you so bad'

'make the suffering end already, y/n'

You shove your phone back in your pocket and begin to jog down the shoreline, attempting to catch up to the five as the sun begins to slowly set over the water.

Once you reach them, you notice Alex's clammy hands on your shoulders and how fast he was speaking, cheeks red as ever. The other four stand off to the side, not directly watching but definitely listening as they look over the shells that Roier and Tina had gathered.

"Y/n I am so hopelessly in love with you and I wanna be your romantic boyfriend, not just your platonic boyfriend, because it's been driving me crazy for months. And everyone keeps telling me you feel the same way, so if I did this for nothing I might actually cry"

"You literally just asked me out on a beach, I don't even know if I'm dreaming-"

Quackity cuts you off by lightly pinching you. "You're awake! Sorry, fuck. I'm just, shit, if you need time, it's fine. This is just really embarrassing"

"How do you think I feel?" You joke, lightly smiling.

"You're a dick" He laughs

🪼⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🪼⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🪼⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🪼⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🪼⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

"I changed my Instagram bio to 'quackitys platonic romantic partner"

"Wait, hold on, lemme match yours!"

"Wow, stealing my heart, and now my ideas?"

"Shut up!"

[auntie-venom]

Fan Fiction Recommendations

I figured I’d take the time to put down some of my favorite fan fictions for anyone who wants them. I am only putting up completed series, with a few exceptions. And I’ll add more as I think about it. Make sure to give the authors lots of love! They deserve it!

Also, let me know if any links do not work.

Star Wars

✶ Alpha-17 ✶

➤ Alpha-17/Female Reader

Yours

By @wanderinginksplot

Rating: Teen and Mature Reader was assigned to Kamino to do some administrative work for the senate, and when her presence draws some of the clones to try their inexperienced flirting with her Alpha volunteers to scare them away. This story single-handedly turned my attention towards Alpha works. It is a slow burn filled with great banter and I really enjoy Alpha’s characterization here.

➤ Alpha-17/Female Reader

Alpha & “Doc”

By @wings-and-beskar

Rating: Explicit Reader attempts to have a peaceful shower but has to deal with Alpha-17’s presence and persistence to be around her. Absolutely sexy series that I hope gets more fics added to it! Just Alpha’s begging alone in the second story had me faint.

✶ Rex ✶

➤ Rex/Female Reader

Hierarchy of Needs

By @zinzinina

Rating: Explicit Reader is a Jedi on a mission with Rex when a toxin affects them both causing them both to seek relief. Fuck-or-die? YES, PLEASE! I love this trope, ESPECIALLY when it is written as well as this. It is sexy, passionate, filled with yearning, and we end on a sweet note, which I love. 

➤ Rex/Original Female Character

Stories

By @aggy72

Rating: Explicit Cori is a documentarian and follows the adventures of the 501st where the Captain unexpectedly falls for her. Filled with great relationships, banter, and found family, this is a truly beautiful saga of love and perseverance

✶ Wolffe ✶

➤ Wolffe/Female Reader

A New Tomorrow

By @enigmaticexplorer

Rating: Mature and Explicit Reader does a favor for Plo Koon where she ends up as Commander Wolffe’s assistant and they do not like each other. This is a slow-burn, tension-filled, antagonists-to-lovers series that had me in a chokehold for a week while I read it. I laughed, I cried, I stared out a window and thought for hours about it. Alli writes Wolffe so well and I can’t recommend her enough.

➤ Wolffe/Female Reader (Original Female Character)

No Strings Attached

By @cyarbika

Rating: Explicit Reader/Cherise is the owner of 79’s and Wolffe is a cocky asshole that just pisses her off. This series has made me cry and text my IRL friends to rant and rave. Phenomenal Wolffe characterization and beautiful writing. Has antagonists-to-lovers where he falls first she falls harder. Please read it so we can talk about it.

➤ Wolffe/Original Female Character

I Need You

By @ulchabhangorm

Rating: Explicit Sadhbh struggles to keep her growing feelings with Wolffe hidden after they originally agreed to be just friends with benefits. This fic is filled with yearning and passion and completely hooked me! The whole series of one shots have me eagerly waiting for the full Sadhbh/Wolffe story that Maia is writing and I cannot get enough!

✶ Wolffe and Fox ✶ (No Clonecest)

➤ Fox/Female Reader, Wolffe/Female Reader (No Clonecest)

I trust him, and he trusts me

By @enigmaticexplorer

Rating: Explicit Reader is in a relationship with Fox when Wolffe interrupts an intimate moment and it sets in motion a new dynamic. This sexy oneshot explores the way trust translates into intimacy and I related to it on a molecular level. Hot and sweet, just how I like it.

✶ Fox ✶

➤ Fox/Female Reader

Shadow Play

By @wizardofrozz

Rating: Explicit Reader is a senator and is in a secret relationship with Fox, and they have a pretty public fuck. This is just such a hot oneshot.

➤ Fox/Original Female Character

After a Fashion

By @aggy72

Rating: Explicit Sylvi is the designer who makes all of Senator Amidala’s wonderful gowns, and she keeps running into the very stern Commander Fox. This story, as with most of Aggy’s fics, has a chokehold on me. The fic is beautiful story of love filled with banter and phenomenal characterizations.

✶ Gregor ✶

➤ Gregor/Original Female Character

The Deal

By @aggy72

Rating: Explicit Ashla is the chosen medical carer for Skirata’s commandos and is lovingly set up with Gregor by her new chosen family. this story is filled with love, angst, and family that warm my soul! Aggy really has a way to my heart with her stories.

✶ Kix ✶

➤ Kix/Original Female Character

Martyrs and Kings 

By @dystopicjumpsuit

Rating: Explicit Dr. Maree Finnall helps Kix find answers to what happened to his long-lost brothers after he wakes fifty years into the future. While it is a love story, Kix is rightfully filled with angst. Seeing him work through his grief of losing his brothers while being the last clone standing is heart wrenching. 

✶ Fives ✶

➤ Fives/Female Reader

Heartbeat

by @ariadnes-red-thread

Rating: Explicit Reader and Fives are trapped with death coming for them and they take to opportunity to die without regrets. The passion and tension of this oneshot is delicious!

✶ Tech ✶

➤ Tech/Female Reader

Scientific Purposes

By @doublesunsets

Rating: Explicit Reader discovers Tech accidentally recorded a private moment of hers and when confronted she challenges his claim that it was for scientific purposes. Author plays into Tech’s curious nature and uses reader’s body for discoveries. It is hot and has great back and forth between Tech and Reader.

➤ Tech/Female Reader

the beast against the wall

By buryustogether

Rating: Explicit Tech is exposed to a toxin when he protects Reader that makes him lose his inhibitions. Phenomenal sex pollen story that leads to a feral Tech, and I am OBSESSED.

➤ Tech/Female Reader

The Quarry

By Littlelady1121

Rating: Mature Reader is a target to bring in to Cid, but there is more to her than it seems. Minor slowburn with a wonderful found family story with great characterizations. 

➤ Tech/Female Reader

Nighttime Variations

By @bring-backup-99

Rating: Explicit Reader meets Tech when he stays at her inn, and they hit it off. This is a great balance of sexy and sweet! She does a great characterization of Tech and if you like her work and want to get kinkier I’d recommend her Bad Choices series as well. 

➤ Tech/Female Reader

Quick And Dirty

By @eyecandyeoz

Rating: Explicit Reader helps Tech do repairs, and clean up afterward. Sexy one shot with some fun back and forth between our favorite info dumper! Candy has a bunch of hot one shots and gorgeous artwork as well!

✶ Howzer ✶

➤ Howzer/Female Reader

Doctor’s Orders

By @grampsoninspace

Rating: Explicit Captain Howzer is a cocky flirt to the Reader Medic, and it goes his way. This was fun to see a lee burdened more flirtatious Howzer and had some great tension building with some hot smut!

✶ Cassian Andor ✶

➤ Cassian Andor/Original Female Character

Starlight

By @joeybelle

Rating: Explicit While on a mission Cassian gets strong-armed into helping a medic escape the Empire, and it doesn't go to her plans at all. Slow burn and tension galore, along with angst. The sequel is unfinished but I hope upon hope one day she will continue it!

✶ Din Djarin ✶

➤ Din Djarin/Female Reader

Rough Day

By @no-droids

Rating: Explicit Reader signed up to be Grogu’s babysitter and got involved in a fuckfest with the kid’s father. The tiktok famous porn with plot, Mando fic everyone talks about. It truly is a well-written story amongst the smut!

➤ Din Djarin/Female Reader

Be-all and Endor

By: @djarins-cyare

Rating: Explicit Reader is a technician on Endor when the Mandalorian crosses her path and she decides to help him Insanely well-written saga that explores culture and the universe of Star Wars.

✶ Poe Dameron ✶

➤ Poe Dameron/Female Reader

Nine

By @foxilayde

Rating: Explicit Sexy oneshot of a boiling point moment between friends Poe and Reader and then it's just smut central. Love the banter and the idiots-in-love so much.

➤ Poe Dameron/Female Reader

The Bet

By @no-droids 

Rating: Explicit Poe and Reader make a bet on who can stay abstinent the longest, when they try to get the other to fold the tension begins to snap. One of the hottest smut fics I’ve ever read. I use this as a way to convince my IRL friends to start reading fanfiction.

➤ Poe Dameron/Female Reader

Directions

By @zinzinina

Rating: Explicit Reader admits shes never climaxed with a partner before and Poe is determined to change that. This is a beautifully written friends to lovers smut oneshot that I just love to bits.

Moon Knight

✶ Steven Grant and Marc Spector ✶

➤ Steven Grant/Female Reader, Marc Spector/Female Reader

Red Flags

By @astroboots and @thirstworldproblemss

Rating: Explicit Fantastically written story about dating Steven while not knowing about Marc (and Jake) and all the red flags with dating someone hiding a part of themselves. Full stop my favorite Moon Knight fic to date, and I even make my non-fanfiction reader friends read it.

➤ Steven Grant/Female Reader, Marc Spector/Female Reader

fallen from heaven, grown on earth

By davosmymaster

Rating: Mature Marc asks his long-time friend to watch over Steven as he lets him be the primary front. Reader falls in love with Steven after pining over Marc their entire relationship and it causes some ANGST. Lots of yearning and a happy ending.

➤ Steven Grant/Female Reader, Marc Spector/Female Reader

Stuck

By @zinzinina

Rating: Explicit Reader stops by Steven’s place to bring him his lost badge when Marc answers the door and seduces her. Just a sexy little two-shot that I like to reread a lot.

✶ Steven Grant, Marc Spector, and Jake Lockley ✶

➤ Steven Grant/Female Reader, Marc Spector/Female Reader, Jake Lockley/Female Reader

Gift of Min

By @astroboots and @thirstworldproblemss

Rating: Explicit An ancient aphrodisiac spirit is released and reader has to help Steven through it. Another fantastic piece of work form these two, and it is in one of my top five tropes! Absolutely so hot and passionate.

Triple Frontier

✶ Francisco "Catfish" Morales ✶

➤ Francisco "Catfish" Morales/Female Reader 

Something New

By @prolix-yuy

Rating: Explicit Reader hires a sex worker after a period of loneliness brought on by divorce. This whole series is absolutely soft and wholesome while being so sexy.

Kingsman

✶ Jack “Whiskey” Daniels ✶

➤ Jack “Whiskey” Daniels/Female Reader

Whiskey & Westworld

By @prolix-yuy

Rating: Explicit A universe where the Kingsman characters are robots in the Westworld Theme Park when Reader comes to visit. This story is so well written and the tension build-up is delicious.

➤ Jack “Whiskey” Daniels/Female Reader

Harder to Hold

By @brandyllyn

Rating: Explicit Reader becomes the seduction target of Jack Daniels and she doesn’t understand why. The sexiness and espionage in this fic is so fun!

Ghostbusters

✶ Egon Spengler ✶

➤ Egon Spengler/Female Reader

Masters of Sex (The Mood Slime Experiments)

By @psychokinetic-ectoplasm

Rating: Explicit Reader helps out Egon with the mood slime experiments. Just gloriously filthy smut that develops into feelings.  

Dragon Age

✶ The Iron Bull ✶

➤ Iron Bull/Original Female Character

Gina and the Iron Bull

By Lexi Banner (jinbaittai)

Rating: Explicit After an accident in another universe, a woman ends up in Thedas during the time of the Inquisition. I am a SUCKER for someone falling into another universe, and this is a long hot romance.

✶ Cullen Rutherford ✶

➤ Cullen Rutherford/Female Commander Shepard 

The Two Commanders

By Katieee

Rating: Explicit When Commander Shepard destroys the reapers, she wakes up to find herself in Thedas where her biotics are mistaken for magic. Again, I love fish-out-of-water stories where someone from a different universe ends up in another, and I also love to see Shepard be a badass. Takes place over a series of years and is just a fun read.

[kerubimcrepin]

LIVEBLOG: Wakfu Season 4, Episode 13 [PART 1]

I wonder what Joris's opinion on Tristepin abandoning post is. It'e either "thank god I don't have two Iops to wrangle" or "well at least the the one that's less likely to be killed is here" or "FOR FUCK'S SAKE NOT THIS FUCKING GUY"

Stealth mission with an iop by your side sounds like a whole new type of hell on earth.

It's very brief, but at this moment (5:50 in the episode), we can see Joris and Goultard going up the stairs.

The demons in my head are, once again, telling me to keep screenshotting him.

Trying to get her out is a pretty delicate balance, considering his strength. Joris is probably quite aware of the possibility that he might accdentally hurt her.

There's no fucking way Joris doesn't want Goultard to die a gruesome, violent death.

He's imagining Goultard's face instead of the rock... Seething and malding in silence.

GET SCARED.

DIDN'T EVEN HAVE THE TIME TO DODGE. HEHEHEHE

at least he's a good teammate, when he's not calling Joris slurs as a joke.

Not him looking down at them. BITCH WORK!!

Once again, I am compelled to take screenshots. It cannot be helped.

I will be honest, the sudden influx of content where Joris and Goultard are portrayed as friends — like drinking together, or going on missions together — in the fandom has been very weird, because I think what became very clear in this season is that Goultard is an iop who treats people in an iop way (for iops it's just normal to roughouse each other) while Joris is a man who has been infantilized for 600 years, doesn't want to be friends with anyone except people who never question his intelligence (like Yugo and Amaliaa), and wants to kill himself whenever his height is pointed out. and also has 2 drinking buddies already (who shower him in praise at how righteous and heroic and smart he is).

Literally fundamentally incompatible personalities. Joris can barely stand to be here, and the only thing uniting them is "we're immortal and don't want the world to end". If he could, Joris would slip rat poison into whatever Goultard is eating or drinking — because he knows that while it will not kill him, it will make him feel Bad. 😭

Maybe I'm weird, but I don't really like it when characters' discomfort of being treated cruelly is taken as something cute or funny or a Friendship thing...

(Attention: I am not bashing anyone, but expressing my personal opinion)

DFGJSDFKLGHSDKJFGHDSFKJG

you can tell that Joris is not having a good time. he's at his fucking limit. first he let loose with a "if you only knew :) how many people :) have degraded me the same way :) for all my life :)" and now an explicit "SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!"

I really do think he's imagining Goultard's head here.

:)

As someone insane enough to have drawn maaany comparisons between Nora&Efrim and Joris this season, I think he has a soft spot for her by now. She's been through a lot...

And I think Joris understands what it's like, to feel guilty, because of something horrible happening — even if it's not necessarily your fault; besides that, I think they both have very closely matched temperaments — they're both introspective and a bit embittered.

In a kinder universe, Nora and Joris could have been besties. And Nora could have gone to his house for tea. The two of them could probably speak very quietly to one another about some interesting, sad things.

And then Kerubim could have a post-divorce stress disorder-related heart palpitations due to seeing a pink haired woman IRL inside his house unannounced.

Basically, I NEED NORA&JORIS FRIENDSHIP FANART HI?!

Basically: I have crazy levels of brainworms about this (and about Eva trying to sacrifice herself for her family, but there are so many screenshots in this post already...)

Of COURSE he'd stand guard for her.

I'm fucking CRAZY and INSANE.

HIS SMILE HERE!! HE'S SO PROUD OF HER!!! HE BELIEVES IN HER!!!!!!

[sparklepirate]

I love the batshit storytelling power of tabletop games.

Things my players have done in our campaign so far:

- Left Glaedr's eldunarí to freeze outside because they used him as an eye for their snowman and then forgot about him while they ran off to do their mission

- My werecat player traumatized the thirteen year old dragon rider student by giving him a "prophecy" about how he is destined for great things, but he was going to be betrayed by the person he trusts the most (he pulled that completely out of his ass).

- My dragon player has made a pact with the weird groundskeeper/janitor around campus to fuel her kleptomaniac tendency, and steal a gem from my blacksmith player. More on that to come.

- They did some absolutely heinous things to a pack of Shrrg in their first combat encounter. RIP.

- They adopted one of the Shrrg after they doomed him to a slow death of starvation by shattering his teeth (horrible). They healed him, and charmed him into being a friend, and then forged him a new set of magically enchanted steel dentures, so now he is going to be a permanent party member!

- They essentially ignored the main quest (a mysterious circle of destruction and mutated Shrrg that suggest a magical detonation in the same vein of the Vroengard explosion/the Galbatorix explosion only a few miles from the school) in order to go on a new self imposed sidequest of... Well.

- First the party cajoled Saphira into dragging back a Christmas tree.

- The bard (my boyfriend irl) has an antagonistic love-hate relationship with Glaedr (somehow) and spontaneously invented the holiday Christmas in universe while trying to convince Glaedr to sub in as a Christmas ornament. Glaedr refused.

- The whole party, now on board, convinced all the other eldunarí to be Christmas tree ornaments. Glaedr eventually caved and agreed to be the tree topper (the most prestigious position for the most important eldunarí, of course, they told him).

- They decided to name the holiday Gladmas in his honor.

- They came up with the (completely original) idea of a Gladmas icon- a man on the back of a beautiful glittering red dragon, who visits all the little children and leaves them presents. They came up with a plan to use all the eldunarí to power a hasten spell to get them around the world in one night. And they know just the perfect duo to pull this off! The only rider around with a red dragon who would fit the bill!

- So next session is going to be a side quest to convince Murtagh to become Santa Claus.

[cattimeswithjellie]

Server Tour Stream Recap (Gem POV) 6-13-2024

((It's finally done! It's 13,000 words long! It is also available on AO3 (as are all the other recaps) if you can't read it here, just look for my username Etraytin!))

1:55 Gem opens the stream and greets the chat. She’s inside her base, grabbing rockets because today is a special day! She’s streaming a Hermitcraft meeting, which is weird, but this meeting is actually a server tour where everyone will get a chance to see one anothers’ bases. The tour was Joe’s idea and some people will be streaming, some recording. Gem already recorded today, so here she is!

3:00 Gem joins in on the server tour voice group, where the Hermits are complimenting each others’ weird outfits. Ren is showing off his new skin, a Gigacorp space suit. Cleo tells him he no longer looks like a kid who dressed himself. Ren tells them that was the mission, to regain some semblance of dignity. Cleo would not go that far. Gem adjusts the sound levels to make everyone more audible, just as Cleo asks everyone who is streaming to mute for a moment. Apparently she has more to say about Ren’s outfit. Joe and Gem both confirm that they will not be deafening. Cleo tells Ren she will talk with him later about the thing she just noticed about his outfit. Ren doesn’t like the sound of this. Bdubs asks Ren where exactly the pink stripe is on his outfit. Ren, somewhat defensively, says it’s on his belt buckle. Cleo is still laughing. Joel crouches for a good look as Bdubs decides he knows everything he needs to know. Joel makes a comment about something peeking just a little bit. He could be talking about the microphones, sure. Gem scolds the Hermits, reminding them that Cleo wasn’t even going to say it! Cleo admits that wasn’t what she was going to mention. Ren admits that he’s just sen what the other Hermits are seeing, and he hates his life. He tells everyone he’ll see them next season and leaves the game.

5:20 Gem checks volume levels with Chat, just as Jono raids into the stream. Chat is real distracted by Ren’s outfit, but they attempt to participate in the volume check. In the background, Joe explains that he has four shulkers of lava to represent the lava pool from the start of the season, where they’d once intended to meet to kick off their world tour. The Hermits begin digging a new lava pool. Ren comes back and says this reminds him of 1.7, just flat grass and lava. Gem has missed Joe’s explanation of why they are digging the lava pool, but she has to resist the temptation to knock her friends into it. She punches Joel instead, who tries to shoot her with an arrow. Cleo really hopes that Hypno, whose yard the new pool is in, chose this exact spot to log out.

7:30 The question is raised, whose base to visit first? Xisuma is the obvious choice, being as how it is literally right there, but he claims to be “wildly unprepared.” Joe suggests that this will just make the other Hermits feel better about their own bases. They wait for everyone to join who is coming, while Ren appreciates the Eye of Sauron (Cub’s glass firework) staring down upon them all. While they are waiting, the group resumes teasing Ren. Cleo jokes that if Ren thinks eyes look like that, he should see an optician. Xisuma asks Ren how many fingers he’s holding up. (“One stump,” Ren answers accurately.) Gem comments on Ren’s brand new facial hair. Gigacorp Ren has been working hard and has had no time to shave.

9:20 Gem thanks subs and donos, then authorizes her mods to ban a chatter who is misbehaving. Ren wishes he could grow a nice beard IRL like Bdubs. Bdubs is of the opinion it is as much a burden as a blessing. He is clearly trying to make Ren feel better. Bdubs and Cleo debate whether Johnny Depp is still a sex symbol. The guys jump in on the side of Johnny Depp. Joel claims that his granddad is a sex symbol and he’s 80. Joe guesses that Joel’s grandfather is Mick Jagger. Cleo doesn’t want to hear about anybody’s grandfather being sexy. Gem is visibly rebooting on her facecam, trying to figure out what has happened to the conversation during her thirty seconds away. She demands to know what they are even talking about. Joel tells her nothing, it’s fine. She begins punching him in the direction of the lava. He sets her on fire. She scolds him for being violent. Chat says nobody should set Gem on fire during pride month.

10:50 Cleo demands to know if there’s actually a way to stop Gem from punching people. Joel says sure, just hit her back (with a fire aspect sword, apparently). Gem says that Joel can, with the heavy implication that she doesn’t believe Cleo has Joel’s skill in hitting back. Ren says this is all a very wholesome start to their evening of base tours. The Hermits gather around the lava pool and demand Xisuma jump in so things can be just like they were in Episode One. Xisuma welcomes everyone to the first mini world tour of the season and jumps in the lava. He catches on fire and is extinguished by the others. They all feel very nostalgic about it. Cleo asks if this means Demise is starting again. Joe says it’s time to go trap Bdubs. Bdubs is unenthusiastic. Gem punches Joel one more time to show she will not be intimidated, and then it is time to go!

11:50 Joe asks what inspired Xisuma’s base design, he says “Stuff I saw on Google.” It’s a loose interpretation of Aztec building design. The garden is the first stop, Gem loves it. They discuss his garden design, which makes use of cherry leaves to drop petals and the new tuff blocks. Cleo critiques the sinister aesthetic of X’s villager farm, but Gem is distracted by a palm tree made of diamond blocks. This was a payment from Keralis, who has too many diamonds. Joel is jealous and complains that nobody is buying his honey, still. He doesn’t have the honeycomb permit and nobody wants honey blocks. Cleo says that they will all buy honey from him now just to stop him complaining about it. Gem does not mind the complaining and heckles Joel about how much better honeycomb is than honey. Bdubs asks why anyone would ever need a whole stack of honey blocks and asks if Joel sells individual blocks. Joel says sure, but they’re six diamonds so you might as well buy the stack for the same price.

14:30 Gem wanders into the storage room and exclaims over the massive wall of brightly-colored shulker boxes. The group has broken up by now. Xisuma leads everyone into the storage room, where they agree with Gem’s initial impression of “_so many_ shulker boxes.”Xisuma explains that behind the extraordinary number of shulker boxes is an extraordinary amount of redstone. He has a shulker unloader and all the boxes are filters to sort into. He also has a shulker box mod that puts a picture of the item on each shulker box, rather than being an enormous blank wall of shulkers like it is to Gem and Chat. He explains a bit more how the system works while the Hermits make an enormous racket opening shulker boxes. Joe asks what a potion of strength is for and why Xisuma is making them. Xisuma has no answers for him.

16:20 Gem wanders away again, down a labyrinth of underground tunnels. Xisuma explains that he wanted to connect the two halves of his base, but he decided to make a twisted and turning tunnel rather than a straight shot. Bdubs appreciates how mazelike it feels. Gem slides down the up side of the honey elevator amd gets stuck, losing track of the others in the process. False and Doc are also stuck, so at least she has company in the claustrophobic space. They figure themselves out and rejoin the group, except for Joel who is stuck in a spiderweb and Doc, who is stuck in the elevator. Now that Gem has figured it out, she loves the honey elevator. Bdubs finds a horse named “Nametag.” Cleo gets stuck in the elevator and declares it broken. The other hermits gather on the roof while Xisuma coaxes Cleo out of the elevator. Gem punches Joe into the elevator shaft but he has figured it out and doesn’t even lodge a protest as he climbs out.

20:10 Xisuma gives up on Cleo and wishes them the best of luck before leading the group on the flying portion of the base tour. Someone, probably Joe, is flying with explosive rockets. Gem exclaims that she has never been to this part of the base before and it is way bigger than she thought it was. It is indeed very large. X says this part is not decorated yet, but it’s for all his autocrafting and tree farms. His combination tree farm/autocrafter can make every different type of wood block. Gem is on the other side of the large space, but the Hermits near the tree-farm area begin uh-ohing as Doc (proprietor of Big Wood) unsheathes his sword. X also shows off his bamboo autocrafting area where he makes mosaic blocks to Bdubs (holder of the bamboo permit) just so he can bother all his friends equally. Bdubs is not impressed, partly because he has a setup like that already and partly because nobody will buy mosaic blocks. Cleo, fresh out of the elevator, says she’s bought some, that she’s been trying to buy stuff off everyone. ((Cleo, the owner of the S-Tier enchanting books permit and the hay bales permit, is somewhere in the top 3 of richest Hermits.)) Bdubs thanks her graciously and says she’s doing a wonderful job. False suggests the reason Xisuma has a diamond block tree is because he doesn’t need to buy anything. Doc heaves a sigh.

22:10 Xisuma wants to make sure to mention that the permits are for selling materials, but if people just want to be given items for free, they can come over here and take what they need. Reactions to this are very mixed, mostly based on who is selling what commodities. Cleo is laughing pretty hard. Doc threatens a lawsuit, which of course segues back into the pig murder saga. Joel interrupts this by killing the horse that has been down in this hole for ages, much to Xisuma’s chagrin. Joel claims it was unavoidable because he got stuck in the water, but Joel’s penchant for horse-murder is well known. Doc tries to use this as proof to Cleo that killing nameless animals in people’s bases is totally normal for this server and they can’t be mad about it, Cleo tells him to come back and say it to their face, see how it goes. Doc decides not to press his luck and demurs, saying Judge Bdubs will decide. Joe has been preparing his arguments and is ready for court! Doc smugly tells Cleo that he’s lawyered up, what do they think about that? Cleo thinks that Doc’s lawyer is very punchable.

23:40 This seems like a good time to move on with the tour. Ren seems like the next closest for a base tour. Ren insists upon full immersion and makes everyone land at X’s base so they can go in through the back door. Cleo says “I don’t want-” and makes some kind of horrible strangled laughing noise even as Bdubs hisses “stop it!” at them. Gem insists that Cleo keep it together, and if they have to say it, they had doggone well better mute first. The whole group is clearly thinking the exact same joke, but nobody else was brave enough to voice it. Ren sighs. Cleo insists that anybody else in the group is allowed to sigh, but not Ren, presumably because this is all his fault and also usually he’d be the first one making the double entendre joke.

24:45 Ren leads the way into the immersive experience of his research base, which is best experienced on foot and with gas masks on, on account of the many extremely toxic gases in the air. Most of the Hermits ignore this warning but Xisuma, the only Hermit who literally has a space helmet as part of his skin, puts on a wolf mask for safety. Ren escorts everyone through the bioscanner that is supposed to detect hostile aliens. Doc plays at not being able to get through the scanner. Cleo suggests killing him and Gem helpfully throws a few punches in his direction. Doc notices Ren’s beard, which he grew during many sleepless nights of researching. Gem admires the many pickles being used in the terraforming, but Cleo points out that Ren will definitely have some kind of alien, non-pickle name to call them by.

25:40 Ren explains that the lore of his base is that it is a pop-up prefab dome placed on many planets and powered by liquid sulfur that is produced by the weird toxic plants that grow up around it. He leads them into the decontamination chamber and shows off the HC10 Lore Capsule, which is full of artifacts from the first stream weekend of the season. He describes his build palette and everyone is actually quiet long enough to listen, up until Gem notices her own heads mounted on the wall of the chamber. Ren is proud of his fighting prowess. Gem admits he is surprisingly good with a trident.

27:50 Ren leads the way to the hangar bay, which doubles as his storage room. Gem is surprised to notice how empty it is, and Ren admits he hasn’t got much stuff in it yet. She is disappointed and says she thought he was so organized. Bdubs points out that it’s easy to organize nothing. Ren shows off the nicely decorated command center and gets a little heckling for his stuffed mailbox. Joel would hate to see what Ren’s email inbox looks like, Ren doesn’t want to talk about it. Everyone admires the computer screens False worked out for Ren’s walls, made of rotated banners on armor stands. Ren apologizes that there is no way out of the hangar bay without flying, so Gem helpfully leaves a scaffold ladder on her way out.

29:50 Ren shows off the microbiomes within his big custom biome, including the fungus-treed Mytreelium Biome. He shows off the “liquid sulfur” lake made of honey blocks. Joel approves heartily and begs people to buy more honey. Gem gamely points out that she can see dirt beneath the honey blocks and it ruins the effect. A deeper lake of honey, maybe even several layers, would surely help. Xisuma finds a little honey-lined cave and jumps in to investigate before realizing he can’t get out. He warns the others not to jump down there. Gem instantly attempts to punch Joel into the honey. Ren points out his mud farm and his stonemasons. The Hermits are very upset about the living conditions for the stonemasons, who do not have gas masks. Ren admits that the civilians here do not have a very long life expectancy. He points out the outer wall and explains that it exists to contain the infection of alien biome on the outside world. “Please come and visit The Infection!” Cleo quips.

32:30 Ren’s favorite part of his base is the exploration truck, which has featured in many of his livestreams already. The Hemits really like the truck. Gem and Joel immediately hop into the cockpit and pretend to drive it, complete with engine noises. When they try to rejoin the tour and see the lounge, Ren scolds them for not driving. Getting out of the truck is harder than getting it, and Joel and Gem both plaster themselves against the door thanks to Doc fiddling with the lever. Everybody likes Ren’s base.

35:00 False is suggested as the next base for touring. She starts her tour at the bridge, where her own severed head is welcoming people. Joel says it’s creepy, she points out that it’s fairly tame compared to what was in Ren’s base. Skizz joins the tour a bit late and tags along. Gem appreciates the decorative melons. False remembers to ask Joel to please not kill her rabbit. She shows off her armor stand work, which Joel interprets as “a child who is also a blast furnace” but is actually a small robot interacting with a potter. Doc makes a reference to the movie Ghost that is enough of a reach that even the Hermits old enough to remember Ghost (1990) don’t get it until he explains it. This is going to be a market area with more armor stand work on the way, according to False.

37:10 It turns out False’s base is much bigger on the inside than it appeared, with multiple layers full of storage and farms. Gem is impressed by the size of the place, though False points out that it’s less impressive after seeing Xisuma’s monstrosity. False’s base does have the advantage of looking less like an enormous hole in the ground, though. Her farms are nicely organized and separated by catwalks. The Hermits are impressed. Doc tries to beg a torchflower off False, but she is firm that he should buy them at the flower shop. Bdubs, obviously familiar with the medium, asks False if she regrets using so much copper in the build. She admits she has had to call Xisuma a few times in a panic because she doesn’t have enough copper blocks for her roof. Bdubs understands completely, but also agrees copper is worth it because it is so beautiful. Joel falls off a catwalk with a scream, Gem is immediately inspired to try and punch Doc in as well. Gem just does, like, so much punching when she is in a group.

39:00 Gem adjusts the volume on Skizz, who is nearly inaudible in the continuing vocal scrum. Xisuma realizes that Skizz is wearing the arrow-through-the-head hat and is amused and impressed. False leads the way to her next building, with Joel and Bdubs passing judgment on her excessive use of copper trapdoors (a judgment clearly motivated by envy). False admits to transitioning to jungle wood for part of the build to save on copper, but it’s still a lot of copper. Joel sounds like he’s about ready to cry, imagining all the copper blocks sacrificed to make what is admittedly a very large amount of copper trapdoors. Chat is worried because they can’t hear Skizz, but Skizz is not talking and there’s nothing Gem can do about that. ((Skizz addressed this in his own stream later, saying he was mostly quiet during the base tour because he likes watching other people interact. He does the same thing at parties.))

40:30 Gem loves all the nooks and crannies in False’s base. False intends to add more paths and bridges, and that she hopes people will be able to get lost in her base. Joel says a lot of bases are like that this season, especially Ren’s once he expands that honey river (hint, hint.) False tells him to wait til he sees the new river she is going to install there. Chat is still hung up on the fact that Skizz’s voice chat icon keeps lighting up when he is not talking, and they are not taking “noise gate issue” for an answer. Gem begins punching him to try and get a verbal reaction from him. He fast-crouches at her instead, which is unhelpful. She asks him flat-out if he is talking and he says no, he’s just listening. Chat is appeased, for now.

42:10 Cleo’s base is next on the tour. Before they go, Xisuma asks Joe if today’s date for the tour is significant in any way, like the server being however many months old or something. Joe says no, it’s just a summer kickoff base tour to see progress. Watchers who have been busy with school exams or joining up for summer can see what’s going on. Cleo once again starts their tour on a bridge, but unlike Ren’s toxic air or False’s severed head, this one’s got a gun! The hermits want to know why Cleo’s got a gun, but Cleo says it’s very important to be prepared. The Hermits declare Cleo to be a doomsday prepper. Cleo leads the way down into their mine, a place Doc obviously associates with unpleasant memories. ((Doc and Cleo are embroiled in a court case over an incident where Doc killed Cleo’s special pig down in this mine.))

44:00 Xisuma asks if they’ve gone past the part where the big hole was. The group arrives at the big hole. Gem immediately punches Cleo into the big hole. Why is Gem like this? No one knows. Joel asks Cleo why she has a big hole. Cleo begins “Well, Joel…” and is immediately shouted down by the other Hermits. Why are any of them like this? No one knows. Cleo says there will eventually be a monster down at the bottom of the hole, when Sodium pulls itself together and fixes its glass lighting bugs. The monster will have huge glowing eyes. Joel asks why the guns on the bridge are pointed at Iskall, rather than down this hole. “Wouldn’t you point a gun at Iskall?” Cleo asks reasonably. Gem agrees that Iskall does seem more dangerous. The others agree. Joel is new, he will learn. Xisuma asks Cleo if they didn’t build a huge monster at the bottom of a hole back in Season II. Cleo’s answer amounts to “what are you, a cop?” but basically there is no connection. Bdubs theorizes that it speaks to something psychological. Cleo admits that big holes are their brand and have been for the past thirteen years.

45:15 Cleo gives everyone permission to leave their hole. Joe is still flying with explosive rockets, which seems painful. Joel sets Gem on fire again but does put her out with a bucket of water. Cleo advises anyone staying behind to watch out for wardens. Ren likes the mineshaft. Joel compliments the length of the shaft, then takes refuge in context. Chat is not fooled, but they are amused. Cleo leads the way into the Engineer’s House which is the heart of their base at the moment. Gem loves Cleo’s corkboard-backed workbench a lot. Bdubs wants to see it real bad, but he is still stuck in the mine. Skizz wanders off into a protected area and is hauled back, but he’s not streaming so no one sees anything.

46:50 Joel notices Cleo’s shop trophies and is impressed and appalled that anyone has made 750 diamonds from their shops. Cleo tell him she has made 2272 diamonds from her shops. Cleo has the S-Tier Books permit and the surprise hit Hay Bales permit and has been doing extremely well for herself. Joel remarks that this is 27 times the amount he has made from his shops. False asks if this means they are getting paid to go on this tour. Cleo asks if she wants some pity diamonds because she will give her pity diamonds. False will always accept pity diamonds. Cleo shows off the storage area. Ren spends a lot of time in here, both because he likes the way running on copper grate floor sounds and also just to steal stuff. Cleo’s armor stand work and decoration in the engineer’s house is on-point, as always. The other Hermits are visibly and audibly mining the house for ideas.

49:00 Bdubs wants to ask a question. He wants to know if Cleo does kitbashing stuff at home. Cleo does not know what kitbashing is, but agrees that it sounds right once it is explained. They lead the way to the wizard’s tower, where a demon may or may not be being summoned. Being Hermits, Gem and the others are unable to resist the lure of trapdoor floors and get stuck in the crawlspace for a moment, but are quickly distracted by the very unearthly-looking creature Cleo has put together in the demon-summoning circle. It is mostly made of skulk, with large flint-and-steel claws, and has a skulk sensor for a mouth. The skulk sensor’s fronds are still gently waving, which makes everything ten times more disturbing. The Hermits are full of delighted disgust for the creature and admiration for the twisted workings of Cleo’s mind. False is not visiting Cleo anymore. Someone asks what its name is, and a brief workshopping session yields “FredJeff.” Gem’s more reasonable suggestion of Jeffred is ignored. Everyone also likes the eyes and parts in jars on Cleo’s shelves. It’s really a very disturbing room. Skizz asks why the compass on the wall is going nuts (It is a recovery compass, labeled a “Magus Reality Compass”) and Cleo tells him it is a reality compass and reality is very thin here. Everyone mocks Skizz for not knowing what a magus reality compass is.

52:50 Gem sees people going onto the balcony and immediately punches Joel off it. They fight briefly and are distracted by the cake-juggling robot on Cleo’s roof. Joe injures himself with another explosive rocket. Gem runs back and forth along the rooflines until finally she sees someone standing close to an edge. She punches False off the roof and is momentarily satisfied. Ren is disturbed by a terrible noise, it is Joe drinking honey because flying with exploding rockets and recovering by drinking honey is all part of the Joe Hills Difference. Joe does specify that he bought the honey from Keralis, probably just to rub it in for Honey-Block Joel.

54:40 Skizz’s base is the next spot on the tour, so the group heads off to his ominous partial-pyramid and mouth-shaped base. Someone notes that it’s Pearl’s birthday. Ren asks if it wasn’t Pearl’s birthday yesterday? Gem explains that both things are true because Time Zones. The group agrees that if Pearl joins the group, they must sing to her. Joe immediately invites her to join the voice group. Pearl messages back that her inventory was a mess, but she is heading over. Skizz lands the grounp in his front yard and explains, somewhat wearily, that it has become a whole thing for him that he saves any gift he is given, including bizarre lawn art. He also has a wall of presents in item frames inside his base. Impulse gave him poop to put on the wall. Chat jokes that Gem is trying not to fangirl over the Eefo (Skizz’s guess-the-build Etho) statue on the lawn.

55:45 Most of Skizz’s efforts so far have been on the pyramid, trying to make a near-impossible maze to challenge their ability to survive. He invites anybody who wants to to strip naked and try to survive. Joel is interested, but intimdated. Skizz says he’s very forward on his dates. Chat has seen Pearl join the voice chat and is very excited to wish her happy birthday again. The other Hermits encourage Joel to strip down and get on with it. Joel asks if he’s going to die, Skizz tells him “Most definitely.” That’s okay, Cleo brought a bed along.

56:30 The next section of the tour is a radio play, with Gem wandering through the exterior of the maze and listening as Joel and Ren try to navigate the dangerous maze. Ren dies almost immediately. Joel lasts a bit longer, but they both die to the magma blocks. False didn’t enter the maze but still somehow falls in a hole and gets stuck. With both contestants dead, Skizz explains a little bit of the maze, how this layer is just about physical survival and getting to the next level. Gem finds Pearl and, of course, punches her. Everyone wishes Pearl Happy Birthday. There is a truly horrifying rendition of the birthday song from all the assembled Hermits as Pearl dodges more punches and probably reevaluates some life choices. Chat is amused and horrified all at once. Pearl gamely declares it beautiful.

59:50 Because it is her birthday, Pearl decides that the next activity is hitting the fish block. The other hermits join in except for Gem, who prefers to punch Pearl some more. Joel punches Gem and tells her that it’s Pearl’s birthday, let her slap the salmon. Gem thinks it sounds weird when you say it like that. Bdubs tells Skizz he should call the pyramid Decked Out 3. Everyone laughs as Skizz vehemently says he would never do that. He asks Pearl if everyone has seen Wordle. Joe points out that Pearl might well be the next stop on the server tour! Pearl demurs, saying she’s just waking up, and Bdubs tells her it’s her birthday so she doesn’t have to do a tour if she doesn’t want to. Gem sneaks away from the group and posts a sign saying “dECKED OUT 3” over the door to the pyramid.

1:00:40 Cleo points out that what Pearl seems to want to do is jump into fire and berry bushes, based on her current behavior. If no Pearl tour that means Gem is next, being Skizz’s next-door neighbor and all. ((It is not entirely clear whether Skizz started talking Wordle to avoid having to show off his massive and embarrassing chest monster next, but nonetheless it worked really well.)) Gem is glad to do her base tour before Joel’s. Joel asks why but she doesn’t want to have to pay him a compliment out loud so just says her base isn’t quite finished. She leads the group into the Collector’s House and talks about how her base is inspired by the video game Dredge.

1:01:20 Gem shows off her fighting arena, but admits she hasn’t fought anyone in awhile. Joel asks if she wants to fight and she says no. This is clearly a lie since at one hour into this stream her Hermits Punched count stands at 13, mostly Joel. “She’s hungry,” Pearl observes. “Back out,” Bdubs advises. The other Hermits back up rapidly into the viewing area, leaving Gem alone in the middle of the arena, laughing. False notices that Ren has not left the sands and is in fact standing there with no armor. “Ren’s volunteered!” she observes. Ren agrees, saying that he will fight Gem, but the weapon of choice will be fish. Gem is unsure about all this, but agrees to fight so long as Ren gets her a fish too. He dives into the water, presumably to collect some fish. Gem sets her spawn.

1:02:00 Ren comes back with fish and sets his spawn as well. Skizz asks if this is going to be a thirty minute battle, then? Joel insists Gem remove her armor. Armed with raw salmon, Gem and Ren engage in a fish-slap battle to the death, witnessed by a third of the server. Gem starts very strong but her usual tactics don’t work too well in a fight without critical hits or weapon damage and Ren defeats her after a protracted battle. It’s an upset, Chat and the watching Hermits are all stunned. Ren admits that the whole thing was a Mission Possible quest. He needed to fish slap someone to death. Ren offers to let Gem kill him and she does not hesitate to do so, plunking his head-trophy down onto the sand.

1:03:40 Gem decides it is time to move on with the tour. Chat is teasing her about being as washed up as Etho, but they are also pleased to have acquired a rare Gigacorp Ren head for the collection. She shows off the anglerfish-shaped fish market and the horsin’ tunnel. False and Cleo have a low-voiced conversation in the background over whether a fixture in the shop is a toilet or just a box. Gem admits she doesn’t have many of the spooky organic elements added to her build yet, those will come later, but Chat wants her to show off her pineapple farm. She leads the way to her decorative patch of “pineapples” that are all Tango heads with armor-stand ferns on them. The Hermits are impressed and creeped out. Bdubs admits he didn’t know pineapples grew out of the ground. Gem shows the group down to her storage room, then shows off her power lines. Pearl plays the “That’s amazing!” horn. Gem demands she put it away, Pearl absolutely refuses.

1:06:00 Gem shows off her new mangrove trees, along the path that will one day lead towards Etho’s base. She explains the strange red rune that will one day play a creepy heartbeat when approached (and explains that this is also not Decked Out 3), and then it is time to go see Joel’s base. Joel’s base is extremely impressive from the sky and the Hermits are exclaiming over it before they even land. Skizz mutters that it feels just great living right next to him. Joel has somehow never noticed the sign left over from the Permit Trials on the chest of his Joel statue, but he sees it now.

1:07:00 Joel stands under his front gate and welcomes everyone to his Japanese cyberpunk-inspired base. He’s terraformed “a bit” of the mountain to make it look better. The first thing everyone needs to see is definitely his little shrine to the Ocean Goddess and her consort, which is of course a statue of Ocean Queen Lizzie and King Joel of Mezalea from Season One of the Empires SMP. Joel’s internet is terrible but his armor stand work is excellent and the statue is quite impressive. Cleo tells him the statue is very cute, and he agrees and says it is because he is adorable. He leads the way up into the city, where a beautiful facade conceals a very utilitarian villager breeder. Gem begins flipping trapdoors. Joel’s city aesthetic is cute little buildings separated by very narrow alleys, so the place is soon full of disoriented Hermits wandering around and trying to find the group. Joel shows off highlights like his mailbox and a fishtank that doesn’t have any fish in it yet. In a little restaurant off the beaten path, Bdubs finds a horse head and gets very upset about Joel’s continuing history of horse murder. Joel says it wasn’t him.

1:10:00 Xisuma asks how many rooms are in this build, Joel can’t even begin to guess. He says probably quite a lot, which seems accurate. Ren wonders, of all the blocks in Minecraft, how many of them have already been incorporated into this city. Joel says he’s trying to use as many as possible to add color and life to the city. He shows off his axolotl tank and the office where he grows his glowberries. He tells the group that, for the benefit of whoever bought out all his glowberry stock, there is more available now. Skizz cheerfully admits he did it for a Mission Possible. Joel thinks that’s a great mission and tells him he should do it again. He has a squid tank and a cactus farm and a tiny little storage room that he is already outgrowing. Pearl doesn’t understand how he can stay organized in such a small storage room. Gem theorizes that he uses every block he acquires so he doesn’t have to store it. Joel admits that there are blocks stored everywhere in random decorative barrels, completely disorganized. Pearl groans in disappointment. Ren and Skizz have found the jacuzzi bath and jumped in for a soak, which is entirely against base tour etiquette. Joel tells them that the water in that tub hasn’t been changed since episode 3, so maybe they shouldn’t be bathing in it at this point.

1:12:00 Ren tries to eat a carrot and accidentally steals a plant from a pot. False yells at him about it. Gem flips a bunch more trapdoors, apparently because she likes the noise. Someone pushes a button and activates the doorbell that Cub made for Joel. Joel shows the way to his honey farm, musing aloud about how awesome honey is and how great it would be if the Hermits decided to buy a lot of it. Ren asks how Joel manages inventory without losing his mind, given his massive build palette. Joel cheerfully admits he loses his mind. Gem confirms this by finding the walls covered in signs reading “BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ.” Bdubs says it’s like A Beautiful Mind. Joel hates the bees, they are annoying, they produce honey and it doesn’t sell. More Hermits should buy honey. “Good job making a sucky product!” Bdubs tells him (or possibly the bees, it’s hard to say.) Chat points out that Xisuma has taken off the wolf mask and is now wearing Gem’s head.

1:13:30 Joel shows off a few more buildings, all of them empty, and admits that’s basically it. He is roundly mocked for that phrasing after showing off his massive and intricate build. He remembers one more thing he wants to show off and leads everyone to the bar. Bdubs asks if there are more horse heads down there and Joel says definitely not. The Hermits are very impressed by the bar, which includes lava walls covered by trapdoors that create glowing designs. Bdubs finds a horse head and starts yelling again. Joel says that’s not his. Pearl points out that Bdubs has murdered plenty of horses this season and Bdubs claims he would never murder a horse. Pearl demands to see his statistics. He says his are broken. Everyone agrees that the build is amazing. Pearl is glad Joel used purpur. Bdubs and Ren ask about the beacon beam, which is candy striped; Joel came up with the idea himself and it is made of stained glass.

1:16:10 It’s Pearl’s time to shine! Joel wants to get a look at Wordle. Pearl points out it’s not at her base, but they can visit it after. She leads the way to her base and starts everyone at her little truck, explaining the lore of her solarpunk base for the season. This truck in particular crafts a button every day and every night, letting her know how long her chunks have been loaded. Etho signs on. Chat is _very_ excited. Pearl leads the way over to her enchanting area while Gem hisses to Chat to stop being such fangirls. Chat will never stop. Pearl shows off the maps on the walls, Ren points out that the maps are not accurate to current time. Pearl explains that they are to show off the history of the neighborhood as it gets built up, and the other Hermits roundly heckle him for not getting that. Bdubs tells him to “Go back to your sulfur mines, you freak,” then apologizes for going too far. Pearl is stunned that everyone used her doors correctly for the first time. Abashed, Gem goes back and flips all the trapdoors.

1:18:30 Pearl shows off her farming, complete with solar-powered irrigation system. Nighttime is coming, so Bdubs deploys his bed, only to have Pearl mine it out from under him. He graciously forgives her because it’s her birthday, but someone else picked up his bed and he needs it back. Ren deploys the bed and sleeps on it, stealing the night while Bdubs sputters. Pearl next takes the group to her starter base and its horrifying doorbell. Pearl has been doing some armor stand work in here and is happy to show off to Cleo, who declares it adorable and cute. Pearl leads the way down to her storage room and its pillager-head-on-a-noteblock that quickly overwhelms everyone’s audio. Etho has joined up with the tour now and Chat is begging Gem to punch him. They believe he came late to avoid obsession allegations at Gem and Joel’s bases.

1:20:30 Cleo tells Pearl she’s going to steal the idea of leather helmets for stools because it is so good. Pearl shows the group her bedroom and Gem attacks the many available trapdoors. Bdubs likes the scale Pearl is using, with three block ceilings that make a more naturalistic environment for people used to nine foot ceilings IRL. Cleo agrees they would like it if there were less of them in there, because having so many Hermits in one bedroom is definitely turning the vibe from coziness to claustrophobia. Pearl shows off her stables and mailbox and some more farming stuff, Gem flips more trapdoors. Pearl acknowledges that she sees what Gem is doing. Pearl is building a solarium for her sniffers and allay, then takes everyone to the purpur farm. It’s very cool-looking and everyone is impressed. Pearl insists on stopping in the middle of the tour so she can collect up the arrows and replant the farm. Bdubs says that is very rude and Joe scolds him for it because it is Pearl’s birthday. Bdubs reluctantly agrees.

1:24:50 Pearl shows the furnace array/bamboo farm Tango helped her build. She points out that her farm makes bamboo planks to put in the furnaces, so she still buys her bamboo from Bdubs. Bdubs is quite pleased about this, but Etho scoffs and says that’s much too expensive, she might as well be burning her diamonds. Pearl also shows off her casual-flex chandeliers, which are made of beacons she bought at Ren’s shop. Etho asks if there is a discount for beacons bought solely for lighting, Ren says there is not. Doc, who has so many diamonds this season that he is using them for redstone building blocks, mocks Etho for being a cheapskate. Gem asks Pearl to show off the pickles in the trees and advertise her shops too. Pearl is pleased to show off her pickle-festooned trees. She has six or seven stacks of pickles spread through her trees for lighting purposes. Joe asks what the white rocket-shaped things are, Pearl explains they are wind generators for a solarpunk world. She also has a copper and cherry watermill generating more imaginary power. Bdubs mentions how much he likes the “apple trees”, custom trees built with berry bushes in them to simulate fruit trees. Joel mentions there are a ton of beacons in this base, and Ren must be really rich. Cleo laughs and suggests maybe Ren should buy honey. Joe says he also buys a ton of beacons, so Ren must be doing really well. Ren thanks him for his patronage but is noncommittal about buying honey.

1:29:30 The Hermits debate who to visit next. Etho is the closest, Gem celebrates this fact by punching him. Etho suggests Tango, but Tango is not participating in the server tour. Etho protests that he shouldn’t be asked to follow Pearl’s beautiful base. Nevertheless, he is next (Wordle has apparently been forgotten for the moment) and he insists everyone must walk up the path to his base instead of flying. He needs to stretch this out as much as he can because there’s not that much to look at. In that spirit, he narrates the whole walk along the path, including the broken guardian farm, the sheep farm, the trident farm, and a nice view of Pearl’s base. He asks Gem to demonstrate the trident farm. She does so, impressing the assembled Hermits who have no idea how Etho isolated trident drowned. Joel nearly dies to the farm while Gem harvests two tridents in less than a minute. Etho offers to show everyone how it actually works, but that’s a lot of hermits to stuff into the redstone of a farm. They move on instead.

1:31:50 Etho leads the way to the main house as Gem cheerfully asks him if he’s put the roof on yet. Cleo can see the sky through the windows, so probably not. Etho admits that the roof is not quite exactly finished yet. He disappears into the house, leaving the Hermits outside. Doc asks if he’s quickly building a roof before he lets everyone in. Cleo and Gem both admire the exterior decorations, full of pink glazed terracotta and potted plants. Gem tells him he’s so cottagecore and it’s really nice. Etho lets them into the house, still roofless. Cleo asks what all the books on the chiseled bookshelves are. He explains that he keeps every book he gets and puts them on the bookshelves. Gem flips a lot of trapdoors and finds a fox named Sly in the back garden. Etho shows off his high-tech storage system, which is wired to show more or fewer bookshelves based on what enchanting level is wanted. Pearl correctly susses out how the redstone is done and is congratulated by Cleo for being officially a redstoner.

1:33:53 Etho leads the way down into his storage system, which is accessed by a drop chute elevator built into the grassy ground. Bdubs says that Joel will be very pleased by the décor, which is chock full of honey blocks, but Joel bitterly complains that Etho didn’t actually buy any from his store. Etho protests that Joel _gave_ him those honey blocks, sent them to him in the mail and everything. Joel reluctantly admits he did do that, yes. It’s more than he sent, though. Etho quietly admits that he does have a honey farm. Pearl comments that Etho’s ceiling has a lot of items in it and he says yes, it’s part of his storage system. He pauses for a moment, obviously trying to decide if there is any way to explain even the basics of his complex but understated storage system to the assembled group, then tell them that it’s too much to explain right now. “Too complicated for us simple-minded people,” Joel translates. “Too complicated for a tour,” Etho offers diplomatically. He shows his dispensing stations for common items like rockets, then leads the way down a plain stone tunnel to his moss farm. The drop is a little more extreme than advertised and Ren dies from the fall. Fs in the chat for Ren. Ren asks “Why me” and is reminded that he’s not wearing armor and thus lacking useful thinks like feather falling.

1:35:40 Etho’s moss farm is a big operation. Bdubs insists they should all go down into the farm, it’s cool down in there. Bdubs is clearly missing his moss shop this season. Gem gets a quick look at the farm before going back to the viewing platform to help Joel collect Ren’s bits and pieces. Pearl complains that huge farms like this are the reason she is not selling any bone blocks or bonemeal this season. Etho asks Gem if she wants to see how fast he can get moss with this farm. She says no because it’ll just make her mad. Joe eagerly chimes in that he wants to see Gem get mad. Etho shows Gem where to stand to catch moss from the farm and pulls the lever to convert away from bonemeal collection. In less than a minute, Gem’s inventory has more than ten stacks of moss in it. She mutters “Oh my god” a bunch of times in despairing disbelief. Cleo tells her it’s okay to cry. Gem’s pockets overflow and she starts yelling at Etho to turn it off. She has two moss farms and neither of them work anything like this. Etho generously asks if anyone else needs moss, Gem yells that nobody needs his moss! Chat is fangirling hard again, as per usual. Several Hermits ignore Gem’s warning and go for the moss; she sets them on fire with her sword. Joe dies of it, though it is not clear whether he was actually trying to get moss or just an unfortunate bystander to a sweeping edge sword.

1:38:00 Joe respawns, apologizing for the mess and explaining that somebody stabbed him to death. Gem defends herself saying she said she would get mad. Joe sighs and agrees that was probably on him, Cleo protests that moss-collecting is not an appropriate motive for murder. Gem is glad that Joe is taking responsibility for his actions. Joe points out that he is the one who said he wanted to see Gem get mad. He got to see with more than his eyes, he saw with his own burning flesh and that’s on him. Chat feels sorry for Joe. Ren is trying to collect his lost bits and pieces, he collects a sword called “Friendship Blade” that is not his. Joe confirms that is his sword, a gift from Cleo. Cleo remembers giving Joe that blade because he was fighting monsters with an iron sword inappropriately late into the season, she is surprised he still carries it. Bdubs, Joe and Doc remain in the list of bases to tour. Joe arrives and collects his own scattered items.

1:40:00 Leaving the moss farm is almost as dangerous as entering it, since the only way in is “Rocket onto a ladder.” The Hermits manage the feat one by one and land on the grass outside. Gem asks Etho to work on that. Cleo asks what is wrong with him. Etho smugly claims that the best thing about his base is that it teaches one how to play Minecraft. Cleo insists that she doesn’t need to learn Minecraft, she does it professionally already. Etho suggests that if someone is unable to get up the ladder, it may be a skill issue. Cleo wants Etho to know that she hates him. Chat loves sassy Etho. The group heads for Bdubs’ base, aiming to land in front of the forest. While they go, they complain about the price of ender chests and everything in the shopping district. Everything is so expensive this season. Gem insists that pickles are cheap. It is unclear why Gem is shilling pickles so hard when she hates Pearl buying them so much. Joe still can’t find his pants. Gem approaches Bdubs’ forest and exclaims over how beautiful it is. She is not wrong.

1:41:40 The group lands in front of the bridge onto Bdubs’ base. Ren asks if they need to change render distances or other visual effects since Bdubs’ base, more than any other Hermit’s, is designed as a visual spectacle. Bdubs recommends setting render distance to 28, so it’s a good thing there are some powerful computers at work here. Brightness also needs to be down to get the real atmosphere. Bdubs leads the way into the forest as he explains he’s trying to focus on terraforming and atmosphere rather than only on buildings this season. Gem coos over a rustic picnic table made of trapdoors. Pearl plays the “That’s amazing!” horn. Gem punches her several times. Xisuma laughs over the fact that Bdubs’ trees are massive, bespoke pieces of art and the Hermits are still drawn to the picnic table first. Gem is so impressed by the picnic table that she doesn’t even flip the trapdoors.

1:43:00 The tour continues into an open space that Bdubs plans to fill with additional forest eventually. Gem tells Bdubs it’s very cottagecore, Bdubs decides he will allow it. He was fighting it at first, but finally he’s accepted it. Joe points out that the actual cottage he built pretty much sealed the deal. He takes the Hermits to his initial starter base, which he only uses for cooking anymore. Cleo finds a memorial marked February 16 and asks what that’s about; it is the date of Bdubs’ Demise death. He says “they” exploded him, Ren corrects him saying “technically you exploded you.” Bdubs has to admit that this is true. He shows the group the silos with his moss farm and bamboo farms. Doc asks if there’s a reason that Bdubs has the most uncomfortable pathways known to Minecraft. (Bdubs’ current paths are rudimentary at best, scattered path blocks and no slabs to soften height changes.) Cleo says it’s obviously for the aesthetics, Bdubs agrees it’s all form, no function. Everyone takes a quick look at the redstone farm inside the silo and then goes back outside to debate the aesthetics involved in putting wood blocks or dirt blocks under wooden path slabs. Gem says she gets yelled at for her slabs all the time, both in the comments and from her own mod team. The mods give themselves mod hearts in the chat.

1:45:40 Bdubs takes everyone into the silo and shows off his bamboo-item-creating machine. It is a structure made entirely of Bdubs’ Perfect Redstone, so while it does work as intended, it has no labels and is somewhat difficult to understand. The cottagecore cottage is actually Bdubs’ mailbox, and Gem declares it gorgeous. The terracotta production area is up next, immediately drawing a “Booooooo” from False and heckling from the others. ((Bdubs holds the plain terracotta permit and is part of the Short-T Alliance, working with Scar and his six terracotta permits to undermine and counter the activities of “Big T,” the Hermit consortium who control the other nine terracotta permits. False, Ren, Cleo and Xisuma are all members of Big T.)) Bdubs tells them to shut up and shows off his organic terracotta production facility where he turns dirt into mud and then dries it on dripstone into clay, then smelts it into terracotta. Even his enemies are impressed by the sheer amount of effort Bdubs is putting int when he could just be digging up terracotta. He explains that his autosmelter is powered by half-slabs generated by his bamboo farm. It’s very inefficient and he does not recommend it. The same could undoubtedly be said of the whole operation, but everyone is too polite to mention that.

1:48:50 Bdubs decides that’s everything he has available to show right now. Cleo loves how everyone is ending their tour with “And that’s just it, I guess!” Xisuma is impressed about the difference in tone and texture keeping brightness at 30 causes. He feels like he’s been missing out and wants to look at other builds in the dimness now. Etho says his build is five times bigger when viewed at brightness 30. Gem asks if it gets a roof as well. He says yes. Chat is going nuts because Bdubs didn’t show everyone his waterfall. Xisuma asks if keeping brightness at 30 makes caving difficult. Bdubs says no, because he doesn’t do that sort of scary thing. Gem gives in to the overwhelming will of Chat and asks Bdubs “Where’s your waterfall?” Bdubs leads the group back to the bridge while explaining about the glass waterfall he built while testing whether it was possible to simulate water textures without water. This waterfall is not meant to be viewed close up and should be looked at from the bridge. Doc, who is already standing on the bridge, claims to be the only Hermit who watches other peoples’ videos. The waterfall really is very striking when viewed from the bridge. The Hermits are very impressed. Chat is pleased. Etho hypes Bdubs up a bit by pointing out that the grass in the forest is not bonemealed, it was harvested and hand-placed by Bdubs while he was building. Cleo says yeah, but that’s because Bdubs is a nerd. Bdubs makes fun of the way Cleo pronounces “nerd” but does not deny it.

1:51:00 Now that Chat has seen the waterfall, the group is free to fly up and over the forest towards Joe’s base. Joe is easy to follow because he is still flying with exploding fireworks and has a big green eruption behind him every few seconds. He does have his blast protection pants back (Cleo had them) so he can survive the flight. They pass Mumbo’s witch farm on the right (or starboard, Joe adds, for people like Gem and Joel who prefer flying spacecraft) and begin to approach the base. It’s spawning in slowly for Gem, but it is clearly massive. Joe explains that what he is building is a 1:1 scale recreation of the Bell Laboratories Research and Development campus in Holmdell, New Jersey. As Joe explains some of the technical specifications of his very specific building plans, Gem and the other Hermits fly around and take in the enormous scope of the area Joe has dug out and is terraforming. Gem apologizes to chat for the Bobby Mod taking its sweet time; she has not been out to Joe’s base in quite awhile and it is very different now. Joe has a lot of beacons up (he tells Ren he’s welcome for the business) and has mined up over a million stone blocks to turn what was once a mountain range into a canvas for development. He has been learning a lot about geometry and also a lot about reading out loud, since he’s been reading Moby Dick on stream for the benefit of his chat while mining on stream most nights. Gem’s chat is impressed by the massive scope of the project unfolding. Joe explains that he doesn’t have any proper buildings yet, and for the moment his storage system consists of themed groupings of chests set up around each beacon. It is easy to find each beacon when he needs something, so long as he can remember what stuff is stored where. Gem lands for a moment and gets punched by Pearl. She punches Pearl back and they both start flying again.

1:52:50 Joe explains that his build is not nearly as detailed as many of the other Hermits’ builds, but it is very large and he hopes it will be useful as a canvas for other Hermits as well as himself. He’s noticed in previous seasons that as the season goes on and Hermits get locked into their base projects, there is less room for creative projects that do not fit within the scope of whatever they have decided to build. The Holmdell campus has plenty of room for Hermit projects of all different types and sizes. Cub has already marked out a place for a labyrinth that he’ll be starting work on soon. Joe also wants to hold workshops where Hermits can teach one another specific skills like creating vehicles or building facade techniques. He suggests that maybe Cleo will teach armor stand classes because she keeps saying she wants people not to have her build every armor stand on the server. Cleo points out that a lot of Hermits are already doing much better on that front this season. Joe agrees with that and says he is hoping his base area will be a community center in the mid to late season. Chat is very on board with Joe’s ideas and wants to subscribe to his newsletter.

1:55:20 By the end of Joe’s speech, most of the Hermits have settled onto various perches near one another, twenty or thirty blocks off the ground. Etho asks Joe if he regrets doing this project in a mountain biome, now that he’s dug it out. Joe says no, but only because he’s decided to not have regrets. Cleo cackles. Joe explains that this region was the closest area to spawn he could get at the size that he needed, and he will just continue doubling down on that decision until he has octupled down on it. Etho notices the froglights and says they look absolutely incredible. People should not be sleeping on froglights. (Etho, of course, holds the froglight permit.) Joel chimes in saying that all the water around here might turn into ice, but you know what doesn’t turn into ice? Honey. Joe agrees and says he surrounded the entire central lagoon with stairs so that it won’t freeze. Etho is impressed. Gem bets some pickles in there would help. Joe says he was kind of hoping a few Hermits might volunteer to do some terraforming around the lagoon, and that rather than being entirely an area for people to do solo projects, people might have fun working in groups or doing terraforming and landscape lessons. Etho listens patiently to all this and then asks “So you’re telling me that if I put a single block in this lagoon, the whole thing will turn to ice?”

1:57:00 Joe confirms that this is true, leading to laughter and calls for the pranking to begin. Joe goes on to point out that even removing or changing one of the source blocks in the lagoon could trigger an icecapade. Chat is terrified at all the potential here. “And you really don’t regret building here?” Gem asks again. Joe is cool with it. He’s living his best life out here, it’s just that his best life looks terrifying to a lot of people. Bdubs asked if Joe knew already that stairs would stop the freezing, or if he had to do the science on that. It seems like very obscure knowledge. Joe describes the rather arduous-sounding process of figuring out how to ice proof a lake, and is interrupted by Cleo asking if they put a block into the lake, how would the ice actually generate? Joe, in true best-life-Joe-Hills fashion, offers to show everyone how it looks. He and Etho both place blocks into the lagoon. Cleo is clearly very disappointed that the ice doesn’t appear and spread instantly, instead generating slowly from the place where the source blocks were disrupted. But eventually, if the blocks are left in place, the whole surface will freeze. Joe tells everyone that he hopes to have the campus open in a month or so, then admits he’s been saying that for the last couple of months. He justifies himself by pointing at a cluster of pumpkins floating high overhead and explaining those are where the surface of the mountain used to be. He’s had a lot to do.

1:59:40 Joe is finished with his tour, so he goes to pass the reins over to Doc. Bdubs interrupts by mentioning a visual glitch he is seeing where things far away are rendering strangely. Xisuma immediately wants to know more. Other Hermits report seeing the same thing, but Gem does not see it with her particular mod combination. As the sun sets, Joe invites the Hermits to take a look at the base from the sky, with the froglights illuminating all the roads. It’s a beautiful sight, looking a little bit like an airport at night and going a long way to highlight what an enormous project this is and just how much work Joe has been doing. Joe is also lucky that Etho has the froglight and stone permits, and has traded massive amounts of froglights for Joe’s massive amounts of stone.

2:02:00 The group head for Joe’s portal to make the long trek to Doc’s base. Joel mentions that the brightness of the froglights looks so much better at lower brightness and that he needs to start keeping his own brightness down. Bdubs agrees, but warns that his own brightness level is the result of years worth of acclimating his viewers to accept the dimness. Last season he was only at 50%, this season he has gone full mood lighting. Joel says he’s just going straight in, cold turkey. Gem points out that Joel does not have a history of being particularly nice to his chat, if one has watched his intros. It takes awhile to get everyone through the portal, due to too much pushing and shoving, but eventually they all make it through and follow Doc north through the nether. They arrive at Doc’s portal, which is surrounded by ominous-looking machines. “Why do I feel like you have a plan for vengeance right now?” Bdubs asks plaintively.

2:03:00 Doc insists her is not planning anything, this is just a bunch of random machines. Here is the honey farm, here is the cannon that shoots people to the world border, here is the warden transport system, etc. The other Hermits are giving the machines a very respectful distance. Doc’s portal is literally on fire so there is less pushy-shovey on this trip through. They emerge in the main area of Doc’s “home,” an open cobblestone platform high above a swamp biome. Xisuma warns everyone to watch their step. Gem immediately attempts to punch Joel off the platform. He punches her off the platform instead. She and the other Hermits begin flying around to investigate the area as Doc explains what is a massive cluster of superpowered farms and indecipherable redstone. He shows off his massive storage system, making Joe laugh at the idea that people need bulk piston storage for their five shulkers of pistons. Granted, given the farms around here, five shulkers of pistons seems like it might be an average afternoon out here in the swamp. Below the storage area is a supersmelter with 160 furnaces, and next to it is an autocrafter system designed to mimic a crafting table on an enormous scale and that will craft any item the user desires. The Hermits think this is very neat. Etho remembers that Doc did something similar to this in Sesaon 9, but Doc explains that having autocrafters in the game has made the whole business a whole lot easier.

2:05:30 Doc says that’s pretty much it as far as his base goes. It’s clear that his base is very large and incredibly complex, and that there’s enough to keep a tour busy for days, if only that tour group was made up entirely of high level redstoners who know better than to stick their fingers into every chest and punch one another into the complex machinery. Bdubs asks for a demonstration of Doc’s dark oak farm, which produces truly insane amounts of output when it’s up and running. Doc says sure and leads the way over to the massive redstone contraption that is his wood farm. Gem asks if there’s anything they shouldn’t touch. Cleo and False immediately and simultaneously say “everything.” Doc tells them to stand out of the way and don’t touch any levers, and that this machine will do 160k saplings per hour. He explains that there is a llama that is a critical part of the infrastructure that will allow him to place the saplings properly. Etho warns everyone not to place anything accidentally into the huge stacks of clay pots running along the sides of the farm. The Hermits are clearly intimidated but fascinated. Gem is happy to know that the farm is llama powered. Doc turns on the farm and TNT starts exploding. Dark oak is being created and pulverized at a phenomenal pace. Chat is awed.

2:08:00 Gem goes down to the staging area briefly, looks at the lever, then runs back to the safety of the upper platform. Doc is explaining that he hasn’t started any non-machine building yet, but that he does intend to eventually terraform this whole area, make a real exploding volcano, etc. There’s plenty of stuff to do, he just started with the machines. Etho asks how far Doc has gotten with actually doing the item filters in his storage room, the most tedious part of the process. Doc says he is about 80% through with it. It’s a multi-filter system, so while it will handle all the items in the game, some items will be filtered in groups and some with their own filters. And that is all there is, Doc tells them, they can all go home now. “Get out of here before you break something,” Gem translates easily. Everyone agrees that Doc’s redstone work is incredibly impressive. Chat doesn’t even understand what they’re seeing but they know it’s a lot. Ren says it’s like looking into the heart of a CPU. Made of diamond ore, Joel adds.

2:09:10 Doc shows them the way back to the portal and into the nether. Gem punches Joel in the back and then runs away when he chases her, insisting desperately “It was Cleo, it was Cleo, it was Cleo!” The Hermits do a short debriefing and decide when they should do another server tour. Joe thinks that 2-3 server tours per year would be good, let people see new stuff without the tour idea getting stale. While they talk, Gem runs around on the nether roof until Joel successfully potshots her for half her hearts. He gives her a distinctly “come at me” fast-crouch until she runs at him, then he punches her. They punch each other, then disengage as everyone heads back for the nether hub. As they fly they pass over Joe’s 1/8th scale map of his actual base, and even that is large enough that it took seventeen hours to place all the blocks on the nether roof. It’s a big base.

2:11:10 Gem and the others take the portal back to the shopping district. Joel suggests that this would be a perfect time for everyone to go buy some honey. Cleo asks how much honey he would need to sell in order to stop complaining about it. Joel says he wants to hit 100 diamonds in sales. The others are incredulous that he hasn’t even hit a hundred diamonds yet, which probably just makes it worse. Etho comments that’s a tall order for a smallish bean. “You just got called short by Etho,” Gem tells him. Doc says his armor trim shop should be open in the next week or so. Joel says everyone knows Etho is tiny. Joe remembers that Cleo promised everyone pity diamonds to buy honey with if they behaved themselves on the tour. Cleo confirms that pity diamonds are indeed on the table. “Sugar Daddy Cleo!” Gem cheers. She goes into the shop and finds the music button, then asks Joel if it works. He says it does but asks her to please not play it because it can’t be stopped. She protests that she hasn’t even heard it yet. She pushes the button and begins shrieking with laughter over the honey song. Chat is jamming along.

2:12:20 Cleo has 100 diamonds to pass out so that the Hermits can buy honey and make Joel stop whining. Gem gets enough to buy four stacks of honey that she will now need to figure out a use for. Doc asks if Joel is ever going to detail the back of this shop so it’s not just a brown cylinder on the side that faces the hourglass. Joel says he could, but he’s very poor and very busy just trying to make sales right now. Xisuma and False barely got any diamonds, Cleo does not know who took most of the diamonds and does not particularly care. Joe got 43 diamonds and passes a few out to the others. Bdubs suggests that some of these diamonds could also be used to purchase terracotta! Doc needs to get going, so they decide to head back to the new lava pool to end the tour.

2:14:00 The Hermits fly back to spawn, explaining the lava pool to Etho, who was not around for that part. He asks if they went ahead and moved the world spawn. Bdubs asks if anybody wants to sue anybody real quick while they’re all here. Ren asks about moving the world spawn and whether anyone would be cross if they moved it. Gem points out that this is a Hermitcraft Meeting topic and now they’re just streaming an actual meeting. A very confusing discussion ensues over where the spawn chunks actually are, where they will be after 1.21 drops, and whether they ought to be moved and why. Gem narrates for chat and says this is how an actual meeting always goes, with miscommunication being the first order of business. Apparently Xisuma believes the spawn chunks are not currently at 0,0, they are behind the courthouse where a bunch of farms are, but after 1.21 drops, they ought to be moved to an area just outside Ren’s base perimeter. Etho asks why, if spawn chunks are elsewhere, they always respawn by Hypno’s base when they die. Xisuma, obviously ready for an object lesson, tells him to take off his armor. Etho, resigned to being an object lesson, sets his spawn and breaks it, complaining all the while about how he’s going to have to hike back from Hypno’s house, which is about 40 blocks away.

2:16:00 While Etho is complaining and stripping down, Gem explains to Chat that this madness is how all of their meetings look and it’s a miracle they ever get anything done. Sometime during the process False gets bored of waiting and shoots Ren dead. As promised, Ren respawns next to the lava pool. Xisuma is obviously surprised by this. Bdubs is still calling for Etho’s head. Etho’s already naked and ready to go, so he suggests another test where they kill him in the hole. Chat is uncertain about this phrasing but False is more than happy to commit another murder act. Etho did not empty his inventory so his belongings fly everywhere, but Etho himself respawns next to the lava pool, same as Ren. Xisuma says he stands corrected, that the spawn chunks are indeed still at 0,0. Joel confirms that when one comes back through the nether portal for the first time or without a bed, they end up at the same place. The Hermits agree that this is why they never get anything done at meetings.

2:17:00 Xisuma circles back around to the original proposal: that when 1.20.6 comes out, to move the spawn chunks three chunks away from their current location to allow for development of the fairly prime real estate that the spawn chunks now occupy. Xisuma has a couple of proposals for locations but would like to hear from anyone else first. Nobody has any strong feelings and the general consensus is that Xisuma should put them where he wants. Pearl does suggest putting them near the post office, but it’s unclear if there’s any reason for that or if it’s the postal worker equivalent of “you should buy more honey.” Xisuma points out a small squarish island between his own base and Hypno’s and says that might be a decent space for the spawn chunks, or they could go the entire opposite direction and plunk it down in the middle of evveryone over in the direction of Magic Mountain. Space is very tight over that way though, so it might not be a net gain. Pearl reiterates the post office suggestion, in an empty area between the post office and Xisuma’s base. Everyone flies over for a look and Xisuma agrees it’s a great spot. Nobody else cares so long as the new spawn chunks contain a portal and an ender chest for all those wild nights when somebody inevitably winds up naked and wingless at spawn. Pearl offers to decorate it. Gem congratulates her for giving herself work on her birthday. Ren calls for a voice vote; the “yays” are unanimous and enthusiastic. Ren declares the order of business complete and Cleo adjourns the meeting. The Hermits’ grasp on Robert’s Rules of Order are about as complete as their grasp of jurisprudence, but the issue is solved and everyone is happy. Gem admits that they usually don’t even call for a voice vote and this was very official today. Chat is not sure that any Hermitcraft meeting is official without Impulse there to write things down, but mostly they are busy saying “yay.”

2:19:00 The normal procedure for reaching accord during meetings, Gem explains further, is that someone will ask a question, three people will say “yeah, I guess,” and everyone else has their mics muted because they are eating. Pearl is usually half asleep and trying her best, sometimes in bed and with the phone on speaker. The Hermits congratulate themselves on an excellent meeting and give themselves a round of applause. Chat has always wanted a streamed Hermitcraft meeting and now they have gotten one. Chat is pleased. Everyone wonders how they ever get anything done.

2:20:00 False suggests that they all go jump in on Impulse, since he’s online and not at the meeting. Impulse did not join the tour because he doesn’t want to spoil the huge minigame he’s currently working on. Xisuma moves the spawn chunks and tells Ren he’s free to use the old space now. Ren mutters darkly about how the sulfur will expand. Xisuma suggests a group photo. Etho is busy setting fires and Gem is punching Cleo, but everyone agrees a photo is a nice idea. They all gather together and gaze into the future, at the new spawn chunks. Joe demands to know how long he’s had a fish head on and why did nobody tell him. Cleo and Bdubs assure him he’s been wearing it the whole time. Screenshots are captured, Joel punches Gem again, and Bdubs laughs because his specially modded skin actually blinked during photo time. Everyone agrees that this was a good idea and they had fun on the tour. Now they are all going to go and look at their own bases at 30% brightness.

2:21:50 Gem says goodbye to everybody and heads back to her base, asking Chat how they liked that. Chat approves greatly, they had a great time. Gem will post the VOD soon. Gem’s base actually looks great at 30% brightness, this may be the vibe she goes for. It does make the palm trees a little dark. Gem promises she’s working on her next episode and that it will be full of new interiors. She’s going to bring lots of immersion into the base very soon. Everybody’s bases were so cool to see, and it was great to have a visit with so many Hermits! Gem has had a lot of IRL stuff, good and bad, going on lately, but she hopes things are evening out and she’ll be back to streaming soon. She thanks subs and donos as a group and decides to wrap things up. Chat really, really, really wants a Skizz raid. Gem raids into Skizz and ends her stream.

[gatitties]

So how about this.... some king, saitama, genos and tatsumaki (Separate) headcanons with a reader who's an A class hero and their power involves video games physics. An example of that would be where reader had the power to interact with the world as if it is in a video game which as you may know has these:

The System

Video Game/Game Mimicry

Video Game Imitation/Mechanics

Virtual Reality Mimicry

The user can alter the laws of physics to mimic any and all video games. This power can give the user a wide variety of abilities like he can use a cheat code from a real game to trick his foes and avatar manipulation that creates modulate personality character identities (Think of it as a character customization except irl). Reader also has an instant learning ability so anything reader sees or wants new information they acquire, they can immediately learn and master any form of knowledge that can comprehend with ease. There's also a dimensional storage ability that reader can store anything inside their item box and can summon them back with relative ease. Actually just to make this quick I'm just gonna have to send this link so it would better explain everything: https://powerlisting.fandom.com/wiki/Video_Game_Physics anyways for personality I imagined reader to have a more laid-back attitude and relatively has a lot of patience when it comes to dealing people that can anger others quickly yet he's also confident and outgoing that likes to hang out with people no matter what you are as long as you don't try to harm him. Reader works a bartender and tends to meet other heroes (or villains who happens to visit that place) they always put on a polite behavior despite the mistreatment they'd often receive from other customers. also they never lose to a single game match like ever! No matter how professional you are at a video game or how much you do speedruns. reader is always one step ahead of you and even if you cheat they would immediately spot it. and speaking of speedruns, they also have a streaming channel on youtube in which they do all sorts of challenges. Other than that reader is pretty much the person you'll love to hangout with.

─King, Saitama, Genos & Tatsumaki x hero!reader

─Summary: just a few headcannons of your relationship with these heroes

─Warnings: none

King

─ He probably met you from one of your streams early on, then you saved him from a monster he was completely terrified of, only taking a quick look at his 'character' stats to detect the terror behind that straight face.

─ You found it so amusing that you indirectly encouraged him with a drink at the bar where you worked, after which he became a regular customer.

─ Although you had to change the meeting place because there were many King fans who came to ask for autographs, there were only a couple of people who wanted your autograph, and it was not even because you were a hero, but because of your streams.

─ Anyway, you found yourself at his house every time you had free time, when you found out that he played video games and watched your streams he desperately tried to deny it, you didn't give it any importance and now he's one of your most competitive rivals.

─ Luckily you can give more life to the games you play, King is used to playing against npc or Saitama and it's always very easy to win, so his mission right now is to beat you.

─ He will definitely run towards you if there are monsters nearby, you have incredible power and despite being A-class, he thinks you can eradicate any kind of threat or at least aspire to more than A-class.

─ Your relationship is based on a constant fight to break records in any game, whether it is the best streak in Valorant, speedruns in Mario 64 or winning in Mortal Kombat, although the rivalry increases much more in Mario Kart, peace was never an option.

Saitama

─ He met you in the middle of a battle, completely fascinated by being able to change your 'character' and appearance, he asked you if you could change his appearance too, although you could 'program' reality in a certain way, his change would not last forever.

─ After that silly situation, he found you at work and stayed for a while chatting, which made him visit the bar more when he needed to get away from Genos for a bit.

─ He takes care of all the people who have a bad treatment towards you when you work, although you simply don't care, he insists that you should not let disrespect pass.

─ He encourages you to change some parameters of reality to play some jokes on bad customers, you only get carried away sometimes changing the appearance of those people to something ugly.

─ Smoke comes out of his head whenever you play games because you are unbeatable, more than once you let him win to see his happy face, although if he rubs it too much in your face you will not let him win again.

─ You feel a little envious of his great power, it's not that you complain about yours, but sometimes it's tedious to have to think of a video game mechanic to transfer it to reality and fight, it's not so easy to change weapons from a shooter to sorcery from a fantasy rpg and he just has to throw a punch.

─ You are somewhat similar so when you both need calm or are saturated you get together to have a tea or coffee without the need to start a conversation, you just enjoy the program that is on television.

Genos

─ You became a Saitama 2.0 for this boy when he saw you fight, you will have him as a puppy in your work until you agree to train him once and for all.

─ However, no matter how much you explained to him that you only had powers by copie stats from video game characters to use them to your advantage, you couldn't help him much for that, so you simply supported him in the silly ideas that Saitama invented.

─ He didn't care that you were a class lower than his, after all Saitama was C-class and was his trainer, he thought that having two would only make him stronger.

─ He's not that big a fan of videogames, so unfortunately you spend more time having small battles against him in your free time, you weren't as good in combat as you were in videogames but luckily Genos was easy to read and distract with reality bending.

─ He won't tolerate a single disrespect towards you when you work, even though you don't care about the bad comments, you don't even have time to blink and those people are kicked out.

─ He'll put on your streams in the background while he cleans house, he's probably subscribed and donates from time to time to ask when you're free for a rematch.

─ Probably you will lend him some robotic parts or weapons from some games like Metroid, Megaman, Metal Gear Solid or Call of Duty, although they will not last infinitely in the real world.

Tatsumaki

─ She started a rivalry with you because you started to get the attention of some of the administrators of the hero association, you were just an A-class, you weren't that great.

─ You decided to ignore her silent threats during meetings, although when it was your turn to battle together she always did something to stand out from you, you really didn't care, it's not like you put in that much effort in battle.

─ After a while she left the childish attitude and found herself frequenting your bar, at first it was to follow you closely, then for chat with you.

─ She will begin to admire your fighting method because it's never the same and you learn quickly about your opponents, coming to imitate their attacks, you always change the game mechanics to your liking, although she will not admit it out loud.

─ At a certain point she offered you a class upgrade because you really were much better than a simple A-class, but you turned it down, you had enough work already and being a hero was only an occasional thing, she got mad at you for saying no.

─ She doesn't like to lose so she won't waste her time playing games with you, nor will she admit that she watches your streams and that's why she knows that she won't be able to beat you in any video game.

─ She makes a competition for everything she can think of in what she can beat you, you don't give a shit about her tsundere attitude and you just flow with it, if she wants to compete, it's never a bad thing to have a healthy rivalry with someone.

[preposterousjams]

Girlhood and Cassandra Cain: a messy analysis

I love how through Batgirl (2000) we just see Cass learn to be a semi-functioning "normal" girl and how she slowly goes from a life centred around justice and violence to a girl with so much wonder in her heart

Like girl starts out only knowing that she can be one thing: A good fighter. So obviously, to her, her own life outside of that means nothing if its non existent.

And at the same time, she doesn't really know what being a "regular person" means. She's had 2 identities: Weapon and Batgirl. In between both she was just surviving and it probably sucked rlly bad. She used to not picture a life outside of Cain, and now she cant picture a life outside of Batgirl. She literally has met like a total of 30 ppl in her life and talked to like 4.

But even with her very limited idea of normal social interactions she is unafraid of trying to show ppl love. She sees through their body language that the opposite of pain is love. But that kind of love requires an interaction outside of fighting.

She can't understand english much at the beginning but her initial drive to learn is not to be a better detective or batgirl related, its her love for people. For them to be happy. Its like a way of being useful.

But when others treat her in the same way, when others show her affection, she wants so bad to experience those connections over and over again. Mutual loving relationships are a new experience to her and she can't get enough of it.

She needs help on a case so what does she do? She breaks into Stephanie's room after meeting her like a single time because who knocks anyways?

wdym its not normal to knock ppl out when they're annoying? Like its convenient so y not?

She quickly makes her first friends but doesn't really know how to act or communicate but still manages to joke around in her own way. But they're happy, and she's happy, so it works.

She even watches crime shows and reality tv like guides on how to interact with people on missions and irl.

But gradually, all these small interactions let her become a person, for her to share small things about herself with others. Relationships let her be someone. Sharing thoughts, having conversations, working together, and anything that involves the small human pleasure of company become things she looks forward to.

And little by little, she starts doing things for herself. Like bro runs around Gotham, night into morning, holding onto a rose because its something thats hers and its pretty but she doesn't even know how plants work, but she's got the spirit. (yes ik that the rose is a randomly placed metaphor for cass having a bad work life balance but its so cute)

She starts going outside as a normal person instead of only for missions. She does normal girl things like going to restaurants but kind of not really cause wtf is a balanced diet.

Being able to share something about herself with someone and to sit in a mutual understanding of each other becomes easy. She lets herself be open to change and finds herself looking forward to living.

Wanting something for herself and being her own person is such a foreign concept to how she was raised but she loves it.

She experiments with everything to see what feels right. She starts flirting with boys, going to parties, dressing up in different styles of fashion. She wants to experience everything that girls do

She also learns that being a girl is different from what the other bats experience

Which sucks especially when she can read people's body language. As batgirl, in her scary ass outfit she was only terrifying and strong. But as a normal girl, people sometimes objectify her which has to be the oddest experience when u could kill someone with the blink of an eye.

Even her new father and brother see her differently than she sees them. Theres a weird social thing that comes with "girlness" that she doesn't understand, where girl things are supposed to be weak and have to be protected. But logically, shes like, yall gotta be protected from me be so forreal.

She dont gaf. Shes got bigger things to be ashamed about and being a girl is not one of them.

As she experiences the downsides of girlhood, she learns of the social expectations that come along. And instead of playing along blindly, she uses them to mess with ppl (and bruce). Cass understands more than anyone that social expectations and behaviours are just created performances that bring ppl together. So she chooses the ones she likes and completely rejects what she doesn't like.

and in the end she picks girly things like bold lipstick, fancy dresses, fashion, because she loves pretty things not because its whats expected. Social norms are like toys she can play with and put aside when they aren't fun.

Like she'll still get into a bar fight after eating the entire menu cause she can. Anyways ted talk over

[sharp-silver4795]

Hello!! So I’m pretty sure you haven’t answered a question like this,, (I haven’t read that much of thine content .I’m sorry😔) so I’m just gonna ask

The goggle boys (Cody & Toby)(& yes I’d rather pull my own hair out than type ‘bois’ just seeing the word fills me with a kind of rage ) have more in common than their name; they both have incredibly, vastly different to each individual person, although it is much more common to see for Toby..😅

So uhh could you share with us their personalities in your au/headcanon please

🙏

Toby + Cody Personality HCs

Omg! Ofc! I haven’t gotten a lot of asks, and I don’t have many actual posts- most of them are reblogs XD

And uhhh sorry to break this to you, but I say “boi(s)” all the time 😅

I don’t think I need any warnings here-

Sorry if this isn’t great lol I suck at personalities

Cody

A cocky little shit, but not in a completely bad way-

He more just likes to humble people.

He’s a field proxy and tends to go out in more missions than the high proxy himself (Toby).

He has enough experience to make people look stupid, and he loves doing it just to have those embarrassing and awkward moments (for them).

If you’re on his good side, he’s a big goof.

His sense of humor doesn’t make any sense and that’s why it’s funny

He isn’t too short-fused, but if you push him too much get ready for the biggest verbal beat down of your life.

He’s really smart, ofc.

He is good at manipulating people. Whether he uses it for good or evil is up to him. He really doesn’t do it often tbh

He got the name X Virus from the first concoction he made that he called “Virus X.” It would late be called “the changing death” due to how it changes based on how people react to it and how it is administered.

He thinks he’s slick, but he never is- he’s clumsy as hell.

He’s really easy to get along with, but not in a boring way.

He’s an ok listener… he’s a little scatterbrained at times, but if you catch him on a good day or really drill to him that it’s serious he will give you his undivided attention.

Bud is a gentleman. Whether the other person is a man, woman, or anything in between he drinks all the respect juice.

Despite his charm and humor, he is socially awkward. He can’t talk to new people without making himself look like a whole entire fool.

Man likes to try to be an edge lord but will cry if he actually offends you

He is secretly a sweet summer child…

Toby

He is the happy medium between knowing what he’s capable of and humble at the same time.

Toby is surprisingly serious. His humor is either really fucking hilarious or just dry as hell.

He just isn’t good at making jokes verbally.

But he is good at making jokes when it requires action.

For example, he was practicing accuracy and precision with Kat (Kat uses a gun and he uses an axe- duh). Kat got full bullseye. Toby’s response was to hit the tip of the axe blade in the exact place that the bullet hit. He then comically bowed to him.

It was a good laugh for everyone. No one’s feelings were hurt.

He can’t read the room very well, so he has friends do it for him (namely Jeff and Clockwork) and explain it in simple words.

Before I say anything else, I do this IRL with my friends bc I can’t read the room. I don’t see this as calling Toby stupid or infantilizing him at all. This is something that I feel he would do just cuz… head cannons 🤷

Ok, back to head cannons-

He is chronically sleep deprived.

He’s a great listener. If you need to vent, he’s the perfect person to go to. (This is the main reason him and Cody are so close)

He takes shit from no one

While he’s on the job, he seems very cold and rude at times, but he just takes his job kinda seriously.

He is the kind of person that starts something, leaves it on the desk or smthn, and never comes back to finish it and then randomly in the day with just be like: “OH SHIT-”

Sorry if it’s not great, when ppl ask me for personality shit I’m always confused as to what to fucking say. Anyway-

Hope this was ok!!! Have a good day/night/whatever the fuck it is for you! 💜