#new game+ is WILD i feel like a god from the very start who gave me this amount of power it's not a good idea | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

stwaidwen · 1 year ago

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HIIII im new to this sideblog so i actually dont know ANY of ur ocs yet!!!! do u have a crash course for them pretty please

I should REALLY have an OC page oh my god. Absolutely tho! Putting it under a read more bc it's so hefty.

BG3

Serendipity, or Sera for short, is a tiefling druid about to turn 30 during the events of the game. In my setting, there's a hidden city in the desert outside of Faerûn called "Gate" which functions as the 0th circle of hell. Tieflings in this city are subjugated and oppressed by higher and more powerful devils. Sera's parents conspired for almost a decade to orchestrate their family's escape, and when she and her twin brother (Ty, short for Unity) were 15, Sera's family finally managed it. They have been functionally on the run through Faerûn ever since, alternating between living in the wilderness and stopping in large cities, where her father taught her the basics of druidic magic, being a druid himself. Sera and her brother are best friends, and for a significant part of their lives, were incredibly co-dependent. They would go everywhere together, and Ty went through a period when they were still living in Gate where he couldn't sleep unless they were sharing a bed. When they hit about 22, Ty had reached a point where his mother had imparted all her skills as a rogue, and as Ty's affinity lay more with ranger-focused abilities, he decided to leave home, and join the Harpers. Sera initially took the decision very badly, but came round to the idea, and she gave him one hell of a send-off. The space enabled both of them to grow and develop, and to discover who they were without the other. They remained incredibly close, writing to each other regularly and aiming to meet up once every couple of months. Sera's parents eventually moved to Waterdeep, because the large city held great opportunities for them, both as a diplomat and assassin respectively. Sera decided to stay in Baldur's Gate, in a small house-share in Rivington. She enjoyed her life there immensely, but the wilds continued to call to her, and when she got picked up by the Nautiloid, she was on her way to the Emerald Grove, eager to continue her druid training. Sera is autistic, wears her heart on her sleeve and has a very strong sense of self. She is confident, passionate, and makes a great effort to choose kindness wherever possible. She can also sometimes be very immature, after essentially having her childhood stolen from her. She relishes in causing mischief, has very little regard for authority and has absolutely no qualms about speaking her mind, even - or especially - when it is likely to cause trouble. Whilst on the run, her family evaded capture because they relied on the goodwill of strangers to not give them up, and as such, she values allies more than anything in the world, and considers turning on your allies to be the ultimate betrayal. After a somewhat rocky start, Astarion grows to love her deeply, even if her penchant for altruism gets on his nerves. She teaches him that world is not inherently cruel, and he teaches her that being selfish sometimes is okay. She eventually proposes to him and they are married under the full moon. Her main party is Gale, Shadowheart and Astarion.

(Dark Urge spoilers ahead)

Aviv is my Dark Urge Paladin. When she wakes up on the nautiloid with no memories, covered in scars she doesn't have any context for, Aviv is absolutely terrified. She focuses on getting off the ship, and greatly appreciates Lae'zel taking the lead. When she wakes up on the beach, still with nothing, she frantically searches her pack for something; anything. This is when she finds the written oath she swore as a Paladin. She recites it over and over, until she feels a little less alone. This becomes something she does regularly over the course of their adventures. It becomes something to cling to. A fraction of a life lost. When she does finally remember who she was, it went a little like this: Aviv was the head of the cult of Bhaal in Baldur's Gate. She was revered and worshipped, trusted with only the most secret of missions and marks. She also despised most of the ritual and ceremony, because she believed it childish, tacky and unnecessary to venerate her father, but Bhaal's followers needed performance. However, she was not a wholly willing participant. Bhaal's hold over her was incredibly strong, but wavered, and during these periods of clarity, Aviv would attempt escape. It was during one of these spells that she found her way to an order of Paladins and swore an oath of vengeance, so that she could at least attempt, on some level, to combat some of the evil she was putting into the world. She was also, during this time, tasked with infiltrating the high society of Baldur's Gate and spreading terror amongst its members with some very strategic murders. This is where she met Enver Gortash. Their attraction to each other was instant, though Aviv made him work hard to woo her. He came to accept that she would often disappear for a month or so, and then return. He did not ask for an explanation, and she did not offer one. He was furious after Orin attacked her and left her for dead, and elated when he discovered she still lived. When Aviv finally battles Orin in the temple of Bhaal, she rejects him, willingly accepting her death. But Jergal has other plans, and she rises anew, free of her father's chains. Aviv is mostly very gentle and soft spoken, and people often underestimate her, or outright dismiss her as an opponent because of her quiet demeanor. She uses this to her advantage, particularly in high society politics - Enver always affectionately referred to her as a viper - but this is largely a performance, and on the battlefield, she transforms into an unstoppable, unforgiving force. During Act I and Act II, her friendship with Gale develops into a romance and by the time the party reaches Moonrise Towers, they are hopelessly in love. Act III however, complicates things. Gale's desire to pursue godhood, and Aviv's past catching up to her at the speed of a freight train both put extraordinary tension on their blossoming relationship, and I still haven't decided if they will stay together or not. Her main party is Gale, Lae'zel and Karlach.

Pillars of Eternity

Shachar is an 70-year-old (about 35 in human years) elf rogue from Old Vailia, who sought to rebel against a tyrannical ruler that held her state under martial law. The rebellion was crushed and she barely escaped with her life, fleeing through Aedyr to the Dyrwood for safety. Initially she thinks becoming a Watcher is awful, and she spends half the first game desperate to cure herself and return to her old life, but by the end, she's much more at peace with herself. In the intervening five years between 1 and Deadfire, she's very happy at Caed Nua, and thrives as leader of the new settlement. She's sarcastic, happy-go-lucky, and does not suffer fools. She doesn't enjoy violence but will not hesitate to take life ruthlessly to ensure her and her friends' survival. Very early on, she develops a deep, romantic attraction towards Edér, but does not act on it, and does not tell anyone about it. Her best friend is Hiravias, as both of them have a very similar sense of humour and outlook. During Deadfire, she's even quicker to temper, furious with every God, and absolutely HATES boats. She very quickly makes an enemy of the Royal Deadfire Company, and Maia is only on her ship for a month or two before Shachar demands that she leave. She and Tekēhu form an intense bond, and in the moment they meet, are absolutely perfect for each other. They share a bed, and their burdens, and believe the other to be a soulmate, but are very content to go their separate ways at the end of the game, their time together and needing each other now at an end. It is only by watching her and Tekēhu together that Edér realises he's in love with Shachar, and upon hearing they have split up, makes his move on the way back to the Dyrwood. Her main party in game 1 is Aloth, Edér, Pallegina, Hiravias and Sagani, and game 2 is Aloth, Edér, Tekēhu and Xoti.

Ziva is a human priest of Eothas, who was a slave in the Deadfire Archipelago as a child and freed by the Children of the Dawnstar. She is VERY young, barely pushing 20 at the start of the first game, and really struggles with the expectation and pressure put upon her by becoming a Watcher. Edér steps into the role of big brother, which helps him heal from his conflict with his own older brother. Aloth as well, and Iselmyr especially, also step into a role as her protector, and by the end of the first game she has really grown into a confident young woman. She is deeply religious, and still takes time to pray to Eothas every day at dawn, even though it could get her killed. The second game is very complicated for her, and a lot of the confidence she found in the first game is stripped away, as she is essentially forced to go back to the place where she was enslaved. She finds a very close friend in Serafen, however, and he always finds ways to make her laugh. She is very quiet and soft spoken, is very squeamish and has a strong affinity for dogs. Her main party in game 1 is Aloth, Edér, Grieving Mother, Kana Rua and Sagani, and game 2 is Aloth, Edér, Serafen and Tekēhu.

D&D

(art by my fabulous bestie @glamfellens)

Nina Riordan is my current main character. She is a human artificer, homebrewed subclass, in her early 30s. In our setting, all magic use has to be registered and practiced with the permission of The Dimensional Eye (or just The Eye), including healing, which means many common folk could not afford those services. In the small town where Nina and her husband lived, she defied the eye by recreating magical healing with both science and herbal medicine, and this pissed a lot of people off. One day when she was collecting herbs in the woods, the Eye killed her husband and burned down her cottage and she's been on the run ever since. She made her way to a city called Fortune's Cove, where she ended up apprenticing under a famed artificer, Slim Chance the tiefling. After about two years, they had a very amicable parting (and keep in regular contact) whilst Nina moved on. She made her way to Okovo Bay, the biggest city in the region, and set up a small, free underground medical clinic in the poorest district of town, living off of donations and bartering for favours. We've just finished up the first arc of our campaign, and her clinic has grown into a small community centre and soup kitchen as well as a medical clinic, but Nina has drawn too much attention and now has to make the decision between taking a stand and systematically dismantling the Eye, or leaving the party and going on the run again. She's fiery, blunt, pragmatic, scarily intelligent and often very vindictive. At the moment she's at the start of a long, bloody path of vengeance that she has the arrogance to believe is not going to corrupt her, and will also not fix the aching void of grief inside her, no matter how much she hopes it will. Her greatest fear is that her husband is still alive, that the body she saw was not actually his, and that they will reunite but he will reject her. She would rather be dead than alive in a world where he is also alive but not with her.

Fallout New Vegas

Ari Schultz is a deeply religious Jewish woman from the Boneyard who is trying to leave the post-apocalypse better than she was born into. She believes firmly in the power of community and will not hesitate to remove anyone who threatens that, be it raiders, Legion slavers or Mr House himself. She helps as many people as she can in the wasteland, in return for a little food, a good story, and if possible, a place to sleep. She gets on really well with Veronica and Raul in particular. She and Boone eventually start a romantic relationship, as Ari's explicitly Jewish outlook helps him overcome a lot of his guilt for Bitter Springs and forge a path forward (she asks him what purpose self flagellation has beyond attempted alleviation of his own guilt and it rewires his brain chemistry a little bit lol), but this relationship is very slow burn, and takes about 3/4 of the game to come to fruition. Their first kiss is in Caesar's tent after their successful assault on the Legion Camp (this is in front of Benny who interrupts them and asks to be untied). Her chosen weapon is a baseball bat, and she takes great pleasure in using it, and spends a lot of time maintenancing it. She's a fantastic cook, especially around a desert campfire, but doesn't really trust or use technology unless absolutely necessary. She can fix pretty much any vehicle or machine, and if she hadn't chosen to be a Courier she probably would have become a mechanic, but hacking and robotics are beyond her skill. When she travels to Zion Canyon she's really mad to find it full of Mormons and kills Joshua Graham without even really blinking, tells the other missionaries to get the fuck out or die with him and encourages the Dead Horses and Sorrows to talk with each other to find peace. She and Boone go to investigate a mysterious radio signal talking about the Sierra Madre, and when she wakes up with a bomb round her neck with Craig nowhere to be found, again, she's furious. It isn't as traumatising for Ari as it might be for some couriers, because she's a proficient melee fighter and is able to brute force her way through a lot of the toxic clouds After killing Father Elijah and staggering out of the bunker and across the desert, Ari collapses near Folorn Hope and is discovered by NCR Rangers. She is taken to the medical tent there to receive treatment. In her ramblings, she mentions the Lucky 38, and so her companions are contacted to inform them where she is. The truly traumatising experience for Ari is being transported to the Big MT. Surrounded by technology she doesn't understand, killing other patients and dealing with the loss of her autonomy, leaves her feeling incredibly vulnerable, and she is absolutely terrified of all the talking amenities in her room. She refuses to use the Auto-Doc because of this, and by the time she reappears in the Mojave, she's close to death. Crimson Caravan traders pick find her unconscious in the dirt, and luckily, manage to safely escort her back to the Fort so Julie and Arcade can patch her up. She slides in and out of consciousness for almost a week, and when she does wake up, she's so terrified of being in a medical environment that she has a full breakdown and ends up being sedated. She is incredibly touch averse for a long time afterwards, and is especially self-conscious of the scars she accrued from the surgeries. It takes about a year before she allows anyone except Boone or Arcade to tend to any injuries she gets. She spares Benny, saves him from the Legion, and invites him to come and help her run the Strip post-game because she has no idea how to run a business, and they eventually become very close friends. She chooses the independent route and invites the Followers of the Apocalypse to set up inside the Strip in the old NCR base. She and Boone move into the Lucky 38, and she sets up a Synagogue in Freeside. She has a dog called Kafir, so named because Ari in Hebrew means "lion" and Kafir means "lion cub". He is her best friend and whole world, and he is mostly a mix of Blue Heeler and German Shepard.

#my ocs #wow this was a lot of typing THANK U

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jessjustplay · 2 months ago

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I finished (the main story of) God of War!

September 22, 2024

I saw the credits roll after I wrapped up the main story of God of War last night. I wanted to see the story play out so I focused on the main story tasks list. I'm glad I did because now I feel like I have "freedom" to just wander around completing side-quest stuff. Which I plan on doing, eventually.

God of War is definitely a good game. I had a lot of fun with the battles, they were fast and chaotic (in a fun way). Aiming Atreus's arrow was hard at first, but you get used to it. Fighting with the ax, barehanded, and then with the blades was beyond cool.

The one battle-related thing I regret is activating a skill that stopped me from recalling the ax over and over. It was frustrating when Kratos would start attacking with the ax instead of staying put. That's not what I want! Before activating the skill (I have no idea which one it was), I was able to stay in the same spot and throw the ax then recall it without issue, over and over. The good ol' days.

Mimir was a great addition to the team. I liked his accent and his funny comments. I liked that he called Kratos "Brother" and Atreus "Little Brother." The dwarves were funny, but at the very end I noticed this was very much a "Bro" game. So many guys, with the exception of one woman (Freya) who is portrayed as a mad woman at the end. Fun. So cool. We love to see it. [sarcasm]

Endgame stats!

There isn't any EXP in this game, so it seemed like the only way I was "leveling up" was by crafting and upgrading equipment. Which is fine, I guess, but I definitely prefer EXP or AP or some sort of system where fighting = leveling up.

Commentary/Thoughts:

After Freya saved Atreus, he was giving Kratos a bit of the silent treatment. I like that Kratos acknowledged the silence.

Nice little detail here.

And this was just silly. Very cute.

Shout out to the game devs for giving me anxiety with these puzzles.

Atreus lost his mother's knife saving Kratos, so it was nice that Kratos gave him a new one. One that he made for himself and for his son. Cute.

After Atreus learned he was a god, he got a major attitude! It was really interesting to see himself get such a big ego from learning what he is. I think even Kratos was shocked and worried about the attitude change. It was quite touching to see Kratos attribute Atreus's goodness to his mother, saying something along the lines of "You will honor your mother" when telling him to be better.

It was cute to see Sindri and Brok back together. Sibling love is interesting!

Same, Mimir. Same.

This part reminded me of being inside that whale in Kingdom Hearts. lol

This dude's whole story is about "feeling" anger that he can't feel anything (except anger, I guess!). Which I find very interesting. Reminds me of Tales of Berseria and how Velvet would say that feeling pain is a sign you're alive.

Also! I'm glad the green arrows finally came into play. Ever since Freya took them from Atreus and called them wicked, I was like, "What the heck?? WHY? I need more info!?" Sindri gave them to us, which made me distrust him for awhile. It makes sense now that she didn't like them because she knew they could break the spell on Baldur. Smh.

Not a fan of Freya being portrayed as a mad woman at the end. I mentioned at the beginning of this post that this game is very much a "Bro" game, as in, there are a lot of male characters. So to see the one woman in the game get overwhelmed and overcome by her emotions sucked.

However, Kratos said he understood her behavior and that he would also do the same (choose to die if it meant to save Atreus) which I think was a good detail to include. If this declaration from Kratos had not been included, it would have been too easy to dismiss Freya as a wild woman full of uncontrollable emotions, but having Kratos say that he would do the same makes her actions seem understandable, but I still think unreasonable.

Atreus is a good kid right now, so if Kratos died to save him, it would make sense. But Baldur was not a good person, and if Atreus turns "bad", then it also would not make sense for Kratos to save him either. I think Freya was in the wrong for wanting to save Baldur, yes even though he is her son. He wanted to kill her! Surely that is a sign there is something unhinged in your child's brain, heart, soul!? (shrugs)

I'm interested to see if she shows up in the next game.

At least Mimir seems to agree with me that it doesn't make a lot of sense.

So as far as the ending, I like the reveal of the mom actually being a Giant. Atreus is both god and Giant... interesting! This quick look at this mural in particular is also intriguing. To me, it looks like a snake coming out of Atreus's mouth and possibly connected to Kratos. Maybe it represents a circle or never-ending cycle, but who knows.

When Kratos killed Baldur, he said the cycle ends there. Kratos killed his father, and apparently this happens a lot with the gods lol. So it'll be interesting if this is Atreus killing Kratos or just him holding a dead Kratos, or if this even happens at all? I DONT KNOW. (I'm also not a pro on Greek or Nordic mythology.)

Cute little moment, he called him "Son" directly.

And this was interesting. Atreus is Loki??? Not sure how that will play out. They don't seem to like Odin or Thor in this world, who are portrayed positively in the Marvel universe while Loki is portrayed as a mischievous god, so... will Loki have good qualities in this game? I mean, so far he does. But again, I DONT KNOW.

Yeah I'm not doing a New Game+ any time soon, but like I said at the beginning of this post, I would like to revisit this game to do some of the side stuff that I didn't finish. I did fight one Valkyrie, but I kept dying at the very end each time. Maybe Kratos needs more HP because I got really close to killing the Valkyrie, I just couldn't find any green heals to stay alive.

Overall, a good game! I'm counting this as a "Finished" game because the credits rolled. I do not Platinum games because I do not care about digital trophies lol.

#finished #god of war

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alexilulu · 1 year ago

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GAMES I PLAYED OF THE YEAR 2023, #1

(Next: #2)

OR: How I Was Let Down By AAA Dogshit

Razzies Award for Most Baffling Game of 2023 Winner: Final Fantasy XVI (Square Enix, Creative Business Unit III)

Or: The Aristocrats, by Way of D & D (the Game of Thrones TV writers, not the tabletop roleplaying game)

Playing Final Fantasy 16 was an exercise that began as farce, then kind of morphed into tragedy, for me. This might be because of how I played it (my girlfriend played until the first Kupka fight, stopped playing when she saw the volume of sidequests that spawned after that, and I played the rest), or how thoroughly I felt that the game was doing something that was making me thoroughly depressed to see go where it did.

I think mostly I was hoping that the AAA, ultimate budget and engine that they gave CBU3 to run and play with, the indulgence from corporate masters to let them experiment and make something new that still rings with the Final Fantasy name, gave me Final Fantasy 14 with better skin shaders and shit.

I didn’t go into it expecting much on the politics; the magical underclass is ruinously powerful (they literally control the means of production with their bodies, villages are reliant on them for water because they don’t dig wells anymore) and simultaneously reviled, beaten and ultimately killed by their own power via crystallization. The world is divided by kingdoms…that all have agreed to a central banking standard that a merchant’s guild set and not a single one of them is doing wild debasement to? The planet’s dying, Cloud, but everyone’s way more focused on watching gay Bahamut cross cocks with Odin twice and then leave in the skies over another pointless battle?

All of which is out the window by the time Titan’s dead in the ground, btw. The plight of the Branded is wholly forgotten the moment the plot really wants to be about the world-ending god who wants Clive’s body, and doing things about free will and predestination without even a look back at how those themes play into the abject chattel slavery that a significant portion of the world lives under.

But somehow, it’s bizarre, disappointing and ultimately confused middle to final third aren’t really my biggest problem with the game, even if the finale was quarter-baked and vaguely infuriating. I can accept a fully vibes-based plot, even when it has pretensions towards a grand scale of movement and war (they really brought in a historian into the plot after the timeskip so they can pretend they have any cohesive idea of geopolitics going on outside of when you show up and the world starts ending somewhere immediately). I can even except the ‘fuck yeah humanity’ ass boring ending that’s supposed to make you feel like you read a fairy tale about the hero who saved everyone.

The combat brutally, terminally killed any semblance of care I could ever show for this game by the time I had all the eikons unlocked.

See, this is a thing that’s been a long time coming for final fantasy, ever since the first 13 game, when they introduced the idea of stagger and magic/physical damage, the idea of a high-damage state you put the enemy in and extend the duration of by applying elemental weaknesses that allows you to hammer them with physical damage. This was how FF13 worked and was designed around the 13-style turn-based ATB system, stacking up multiple moves on a bar, and it’s a little bit of how FF15 worked by way of Kingdom Hearts with a teleport button, but by FF16 the plot is lost completely.

You put enemies into stagger…by hitting them with anything. You get elemental-themed bursts you can intersperse between your sword strikes by learning a very basic one-two rhythm that speeds it up (because magic abilities do more stagger than physical damage, natch), and you have big flashy super abilities that are on a cooldown and are based on your eikons equipped. So you’ve got a pretty easy one-two of hitting them with basic combos and using your specials to tip them over the edge…

But wait. Your specials are also your biggest routes to high damage in the game. That’s where the big bad Phoenix wing swing is, one of the most simply effective damage moves in the game that isn’t Literally Gigaflare Beaming Their Ass. Do you want to use that for stagger…Or do you want to clear the fight in less than 20 minutes?

The stagger mechanic in 16 perfectly recreates the feeling of being in a DPS window in Final Fantasy 14 (for the luckily uninitiated, this is when you would all pop your party buffs at the same time, so that you all benefit maximally from damage amps and do your highest potency skills during to maximize your damage for the 20 or so seconds it happens during), to the point where it feels like they did it on purpose.

So, you get them in stagger, and the dance of holding R2 and cycling through your special abilities begins. You can have 6 of them at a time, so there’s a real flair to chaining them together, and it can feel great to just go through your rotation perfectly and end the stagger window with some light chain comboing for good measure. It even pops your damage up at the end so you can be like yeah! I did that much damage! I’ll only need to do that 3 more times to finish fighting this interminably slow dragon!

It’s fucking boring. It has the feeling of feeling good. It’s a little dopamine hit for you to just optimally nail things down, but there’s literally nothing to it. It doesn’t feel like anything. The rhythm to hit so that you get a full 8 hit combo of sword and burst attacks numbs the senses. The extraordinarily forgiving dodge that rewards precision with bonus stagger damage on your next hit feels like a single Skittle thrown into my mouth for doing a trick right.

I think that might be where I’ve landed on the game. Final Fantasy 16 doesn’t feel like anything. A moodboard of a video game, designed to death by a team that didn’t know any other way to make a game than to make more of what they made before (CBU3 are the primary minds behind Final Fantasy 14 before they split to work on 16 around 2020, with various parts of the team cycling in and out of Final Fantasy 14 in the ensuing years). Final Fantasy 16 is Final Fantasy 14 wearing Game of Thrones’ skin.

I do mean that somewhat literally; Non-primary cutscenes are shot and directed in the precise manner that Final Fantasy 14 non-voiced cutscenes are produced, down to the angle of the camera above the player model and the semi-canned animations that you will see a hundred times throughout the story. It feels uncanny, especially after they stated directly that during development that they specifically abandoned plans for a PS4 version that would ‘not limit the team’s ambitions’. It feels like the scope was crushed down to something they could complete in the 3-4 years they had afforded themselves for development.

Ultimately, it feels like a game that was built inside a box. I keep seeing all the ways they wanted to produce something grand, but I can feel how shoddy the set the actors are standing on really is. Final Fantasy 16: the off-Broadway production, coming soon to your Playstation Five Home Entertainment Console.

#Alexis Plays Games 2023

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nevermore-grimes · 7 months ago

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I just saw @parasafterdark do this and I wanted to do it, too, so…

OC Ask Game - RED by @/isabellebissonrouthier

Let’s talk about Nevermore!!!

TW: Mentions of depression, suicidal ideation, trauma, death, killing, and sex under the cut

CRIMSON - What would it take for them to kill someone they know?

Depends on the someone. If it's someone she hates, she'd kill their ass for free. If it's someone she loves, not even the hand of God could make her ever even consider it.

SCARLET - How do they grieve?

*Counts on fingers* Drinking, refusing to cry, avoiding her feelings, contemplating ending it all. Just girlie things, ya know?

WINE - How do they act when drunk?

DO NOT GET THIS WOMAN DRUNK!!! She's a literal wild card when she's drunk, okay? Anything is possible. She could end up horny, angry, hungry, homicidal, sleepy, etc.

CHERRY - Why did you create them?

I wanted to be cooler, so I made someone cooler than me. Then, I gave her trauma for funzies!

STRAWBERRY - What part of them is most like you? Was this intentional?

Methinks you should refer to my answer to the last question.

RASPBERRY - Are they a virgin?

Ha!

WATERMELON - What is their greatest reason to get out of bed?

That changes with the "saga" of her life. Lemme break it down:

The Origins - A sense of duty The Macbethian Saga - Aerith The Hero Saga - A new sense of purpose The Inter-Dimensional Rift Saga - The excitement for a new lover The Pre-War Saga - All hell is slowly breaking loose. Fix this. Now. The War Saga - Desperation to protect her loved ones

APPLE - Messy or clean?

She's surprisingly clean! But that's probably because she's a minimalist. Constantly running from the law got her accustomed to packing light.

POMEGRANITE - Which myth would they relate to most?

Uhhhhhhhhh... I'm not very good with my myths, so I'm not sure how to answer this one.

JAM - Can they cook?

She can cook. She's no pro chef (*ehem* Chase *ehem*), but when it comes down to it, she can make some decent meals.

CANDY - Do they have a sweet tooth?

YES!!! ALWAYS!!!

BLOOD - What would they do if they saw a stranger's corpse?

This is the norm for her. She's so desensitized to death, it rarely fazes her. So, she'd just go about her day. If she didn't kill them, that's not her problem.

GORE - If they were asked to fight in a war, would they fight or run away?

Nevermore's been fighting the same war for about three years now (in Thisverse time), so I think it's safe to say she's not running away any time soon...

RUBY - What do they consider most precious/valuable?

Aerith, Loki, Michael, and Peter. No hesitation. Nevermore holds them so close to her heart that even the idea of parting with them makes her stomach churn.

GARNET - If they had to kill someone, what method would they choose?

Had to or wanted to? Mwahahahahaha! If Nevermore had to kill someone, she'd just use her goddess-given Elemental powers. If she wanted to kill someone, she'd get creative. That's when she's bringing out the big and flashy spells, or she's using close-range manmade weapons to make her kill more... "intimate". And don't even get me started on when she incites her Bloodlust!

BLUSH - Who flusters them most?

Loki. It's always Loki. There's just something about him that makes Nevermore blush like a fool and basically lose all brain function, lmaooo!

LIPSTICK - What is their love language?

Physical touch. That, and suffocating overprotection. Girlie does not know when to let go.

KISS - Who did they last kiss?

*Sighs in disapproval* Peter Quill... This was to the knowledge and comfort of her boyfriends, of course! We don't do that cheating stuff here, especially because Nevermore was once cheated on. She'd never do that to someone else, let alone someone she loves.

ROSE - What gift would they most wish to receive from a lover?

Nevermore actually hates receiving gifts. She was never comfortable with the idea of people she cares about going out of their way to spend resources on making her happy. All she needs to be happy is them. That, or sex.

POPPY - Do they believe in a god?

The Macbethians actually have their own goddess. La Tierra Madre ("The Earth Mother") is worshipped as the creator of the first Elemental Four. (Named Andrix, Nash, Alek, and Archer, if you were curious.)

That being said, Nevermore is an athiest through-and-through. No gods for her!

#parame: nevermore #madd #maladaptive daydreamer #maladaptive daydreams #maladaptive daydreaming #paracosm #para portal #paraportal

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thessalian · 8 months ago

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Thess vs Horizon: Forbidden West Prologue

So a few notes from various bits of prologue. I'm not in the eponymous Forbidden West yet, mostly because one of the things I'm finding is that the low-level anxiety of jumping puzzle hits a little different with the fibro. I get tense, and lemme tell you, I feel it these days. So this is going to be a long, long game. But here are the notes from the Horizon: Forbidden West prologue ... more or less spoiler-free.

Ah, stealth kills, I have missed you. And I've very, very nearly hit the first achievement for those already. Not to mention the "knocking components off" achievement. Not there yet, but ... getting there.

In checking whether I'd actually reached any achivements yet, I note that various friends have got a lot farther than me in this game. Fucking fibro.

See ... this whole deal where it guides you on what actions you need to take to climb or grapple or whatever could be seen as annoying? But I honest-to-gods need a reminder if I'm taking it this slow. So it is annoying but it's also really helpful, so thanks for that.

Some of the new designs on these beasties are lit. Still hate being forced into armed confrontation with these things. Just let me hide and shoot them from the next post code over, damnit!

What's this thing? Can I scavenge it? ...Oh. I was supposed to kill Big Beastie with this. Sorry; I prefer precision. kthxbai.

...Well, if that isn't commentary on tech 'geniuses' and their bullshit, and on corporate greed. Also, it's actually a real shame that so many of the effective antagonists of both games have been dead for so very, very long, because they are all so very, very punchable and apparently they haven't worked out hard light hologram technology so I can't literally punch that smirking shithead in the face.

Aloy, you were raised agnostic and found proof of atheism. Varl has not. Chill the fuck out. You're equipped to see things as they are; your people view everything through a religious filter. So long as they're not exiling people or some shit, why do you care if they worship an AI construct?

Aaaaaaaaaaand we're back to Meridian. Cool. Wait, what the fuck now?

So ... why didn't we double-check the Spire before we went heading off on wild goose chases?

SYLENS YOU DICKWAFFLE. (Sorry, Lance Reddick; you gave really, really good dickwaffle.)

Not sure what to make of this "workbench" mechanic. It'll probably be better when I can fast travel to places.

Please, please tell me I can dump some of the vendor trash while I'm in what passes for civilisation in Horizon-world. Please? I have been so good.

Somebody want to please explain to me why those neckbeard arseholes think Aloy's ugly? Okay, sometimes they do not get her best angle in cutscenes, but mostly she's, like ... a realistically beautiful woman. Ah, right - it's the realistically part they object to. They want doe-eyed skinny waifu. Well, they can get stuffed, because I'm already struggling with how she manages to get the less dreadlocked bits of her hair moving like a shampoo commercial when she has no shampoo. Plus, those neckbeards are not exactly looking at the cover of GQ themselves, y'know?

I'm kind of interested in how they've set up this prologue. Both HZD and HFW start us with where Aloy has been and what she's done, but I guess you can't really turn "killed an invasion of war machines" into an easy prologue the way you can "finding a focus and training for Big Event". Plus, the whole thing makes me wonder exactly how many friendly faces from home we're going to have as companions. I mean, I know two - hell, even if I hadn't seen both in trailers, one I've already had as a companion, and when you get that many Oseram scattered around the place, you know who's going to show up in Horizon-world eventually.

No, seriously, let me offload vendor trash I HAVE BEEN SO GOOD.

So I stopped in and around Meridian before having to tell everybody, "Hey, I'm going to the place named in the title of this game because that guy you told me to look for is a dickwaffle but he could conceivably be a helpful dickwaffle if I help him with the problem he willingly dove into head-first by ... well, being a dickwaffle". I am at least supposed to be finding a workbench and hopefully someone I can throw vendor trash at, but I more or less stopped there because I do have some shit to do today. Not much shit right away - I mean, I do have D&D later this evening and we're still running a little earlier than usual because of Daylight Savings being weird this year, but that's still way later - but some shit. Specifically I need to go out for ground cardamom. Look, I need it to make apple pie spice, and all of my cardamom is in pods. Kind of wish that the recipes for apple pie spice I have looked up specified what colour cardamom needs grinding. I guess I'll just hope I get it right. I need this because I'm baking apple bread. I got buttermilk and everything! Also I want to make more apple turnovers and the homemade filling with only cinnamon ... well, it needs something. Maybe apple pie spice instead of just cinnamon is that something. Anyway, also means I need apples. So that means a shopping trip. So I guess I'd best prep for that.

And then home and more video games. Not sure if I'm going to do my shopping / crafting in HFW or if I'm going to go back to the Shadow-Cursed Lands in BG3 so that I can earn a whole lot of easy approval with Astarion and Lae'zel by making big lumpy bag of poison explode. I'll think about it as I do errands, I guess.

#Thess plays video games #Thess liveblogs Horizon Forbidden West #Thess cooks

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machinegunrobotboyfriend · 2 years ago

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so. alice in borderland season 2. i have a lot of thoughts. spoilers ahead, obviously.

so to start off, i’m coming from the perspective of someone who read the second half of the manga and a few extra bits - so i know i am missing some of the characterization, but not all of the characterization. that said, while i like the inclusion of new games unique to the show, i’m not really wild about them cutting dodo’s inclusion in the plot to make it work - i think the dodo-heya-agni storyline serves a bit more than throwing arisu briefly in dodo’s spot (though i do love that they just fucking yeeted arisu off a cliff, that was fun lmao). but yeah, they showed heya’s seven of spades game, they could just have easily shown dodo in four of hearts.

or even better yet? give us a second season that’s starts in with the first few episodes being introductions to the newer characters and how they ended up in the borderland: give heya the full episode to be introduced in seven of spades, an episode for dodo to show off four of hearts, maybe let chishiya play six of diamonds and do his backstory there, and then start into the festivities for four episodes. Then, for funsies, since saori’s already dead and we don’t need to do much with her character, let banda do two of hearts in saori’s place, and then end season 2 with banda walking up the stairs to the penitentiary, so they have more basis to alternate narrators (or just pull chishiya out entirely as it is in the manga) for jack of hearts. why am i so insistent on taking more time instead of less? BECAUSE GOD DAMN THAT KUINA-ANN MONTAGE SHOULD HAVE BEEN AT LEAST TWO EPISODES OF “KICKASS LESBIANS: THE SERIES (ALSO ARISU IS SOMETIMES IN THE BACKGROUND)” seriously they put so much into such a short time that i WISH they would have let their relationship flourish more meaningfully, and explain the games they played together a bit - even if they’re original games, it’s fun to see more happening and more thought put into the universe!

with those thoughts out of the way - there were some absolute fucking knockout games this time. the fact that they got fucking YAMAPI to be kyuma literally dropped my jaw in disbelief, and he did a fantastic job carrying it. king of diamonds was similarly absolutely fucking NAILED in the emotion of the performance - two very logical and calculating characters having subdued, but incredibly emotional moments as they play the game. queen of hearts? chills down my spine - it’s such a hard game to translate from the manga, but the choices they made really were fantastic. also mira is gaslight gatekeep girlboss and i love that for her. jack of hearts was an interesting choice to bring in chishiya, but i think it was smart to keep a character involved to keep us interested in the action based on the cast we already know and love.

king of spades sort of fell in the middle for me. as referenced for the entire first half of the post here i’m not really happy that they excluded dodo, but man they handled the rest of the main crew so well through the finale of it. not only allowing his inclusion be a believable driver for a lot of the relationships (kuina and ann, heya and agni,) showing off just *how much* power shirabi has - the fact that a 5 v 1 confrontation ends with 1 dead and 4 wounded, and even a concentrated explosion leaves him still clinging to life. but for all the work they put into showing how strong he is, it felt like they rushed through his backstory too quickly, and his death doesn’t feel as impactful as the manga.

speaking of rushed through! queen of spades. i know this was a show original but damn they really just sorta. rushed in a whole bunch of plot that didn’t really make sense, then threw us into the game, gave us the rousing speech, and then fun cool shot of risa getting nailed midair by the laser. i think with more time for the plot setup this would have been more meaningful, but i already belabored that above as well.

overall? solid fucking season despite my qualms, and i'm hoping we get a prequel/retry/border road series in the future, cause damn the joker on the table ain’t quite the same as joker in the manga lmao

#alice in borderland s2 #alice in borderland

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lairofdragonagelore · 2 years ago

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Frostback Mountains: Somewhere North Skyhold

Main Quest: Doom Upon All the World

This is the end of the main game. Corypheus attacks creating another breach and the Inquisitor has to face him alone because their armies are still travelling from Wild Arbour .

[This is part of the series “Playing DA like an archaeologist”]

[Index page of Dragon Age Lore]

I really don’t know where this happens. According to the map, it’s in the very north of the Frostback Mountains, but along the quest we realise that this place had an enormous fortress with a lot of Chantry decoration that came out out of the blue. The wiki says it’s Sacred Ashes Valley, which location is quite different to any place around the Temple of Sacred Ashes [which is closer to Haven]. So, I think I missed something along the game or this was a bit carelessly located.

Anyways, the Inquisitor follows Corypheus. There are some cool shoot like this one, where we see Corypheus a la Hamlet, talking about the absence of gods, with Andraste’s head on the background and red lyrium growing wild around. He taunts mortals to bring the Maker to him, knowing there is none.

It was never clear to me where exactly this happens, but at the north of Skyhold, on the Frosback Mountains, there is a town or hold that starts to float as Corypheus’s new breach breaks the mountains and make them levitate. I like to highlight that this scene makes the landscape look very similar to the Fade’s, or even similar to the vague shape we usually see of the Black City.

Again, it’s not clear what this place is. It’s a big fortress, as big as or even bigger than Skyhold, which contains a lot of andrastian images.

It’s so big that almost looks like a castle-fortress surrounded by a city. Somehow, there is a lot of red lyrium in this fortress/town.

Probably I should not think this part too much, specially considering it’s the last quest of the game and Gaider always complained about how bad Bioware is when it comes to endings, leaving them always for the last moment, and rushing them without much time to polish or justify. But it’s strange. The fortress, as we explore it to reach Corypheus, shows some avvar and Ferelden decorations. In here we find the Dwarf with long limbs.

Then, The fereldan version of Maferath crying, Havard carrying the ashes, and Andraste as a Warrior.

Of course, we find once more the Maker, that I called Faceless figure holding a crown in the past.

The decoration in general speaks mostly of Ferelden elements.

During the combat, Corypheus has taunting lines that show pieces of truths we had been suspecting or we learnt along the game.The most interesting ones are for elves:

“Look at you, weating slave markings on your face with pride.”

"In my time, we call your people rattus, you are nothing. A race of snivelling cowards that shrank before Tevinter power"

"What do they call you? A qunari? Your blood if engorged with decay. Your race is not a race. It's a mistake."

This reminds me a lot what Kieran says to each inquisitor if they have a piece of Urthemiel inside him [video]:

To an elf: I just don't know why your people want to look like that. [The ears gave me away, didn't they?] No. Your blood is very old. I saw it right away.

To a qunari: I noticed your blood. It doesn't belong to your people. [...] I just feel bad about what happened to your people.

From Corypheus' lines and Kieran’, we can conclude things we already were hinted along the games:

Elves had a different shape before, if any. This reinforces a lot the suspicion we had when analysing the Ancient Elven codices; Vir Dirthara. The elvhen were something more complex than a mere spirit, but their shape was a lot more fluid than what it is now. Their immortality maybe was related to their shapeless form.

Elves’ blood is old. This could mean dragons or Titans.

Qunari is a crafted race. It's not clear who made it; if it was the Tevinters or the Elvhen. Due to the Tevinter Mosaics, I’m inclined to think that they seem to be the ones who created them to be the perfect sacrifice victim to fuel blood magic. Corypheus speaks of a blood engorged with decay, which makes me suspect that they were created based on an “extinct” or “decaying” race. This suits the idea of Dragon, since they were considered extinct in the past for many centuries until the end of the Blessed Age. If this is the case, it makes sense for Kieran to say that the qunari blood doesn’t belong to their people.

By the end, Corypheus uses all the power of the corrupted orb

When we reach the highest point of this strange fortress, we find Corypheus charging the orb with his corrupted power. I guess he is trying to enter the Fade by making the breach bigger? it’s not clear for me. The floor on this part is the most interesting thing of the whole fight:

It portraits the head of the mosaic of Mythal inside a Golden Ring from which bits of red lyrium sprout.

This arises so many questions that I’m not sure if they are meant to be there or this is merely more careless mistakes: A nameless Ferelden fortress, decorated with andrastian and some avvar/alamari statues, placed at the north of the Frostback mountains, has on its highest point an elvhen mosaic. If this were an Avvar Hold, we could be guessing about how much the Lady of The Sky can be related to the elvhen. But... this is a bit of a mess.

By the end of Corypheus, we can see his eyes completely consumed by the red lyrium power, corrupted in a similar way as the mad black wolves in Hinterlands, which are affected by the Fade power of the rifts.

In his despair, he calls once more to Dumat, showing how much “human” minds need gods to reach in the worst times.

With the last words of Corypheus, asking for the gods to help him, the Inquisitor closes the breach and shows Corypheus once more that the gods do not exist.

When the inquisitor with their anchor touches the orb, its red energy changes to green one. With it, we can close this new breach in the sky, but it consumes all its energy and remains inert,

Then, the inquisitor makes Corypheus jump into the Fade. Which is something I personally don't understand and I think it’s a gross narrative mistake. We know the anchor allowed the Inquisitor to cross the veil and enter the Fade without much trouble, but sending the enemy who wanted to reach the Fade so they could harness godhood... seems stupid. We can assume the Fade will hurt Corypheus? I don’t know how we can be sure about it, since it was not hinted anywhere. Still I think that this last confrontation with Corypheus was disappointing in many narrative ways, beyond the lack of difficulty and making him look like “he was not big threat” by the end. Which in a sense, it is true, Solas is in fact the biggest one.

When everything finishes, and the fortress that was floating in the air falls on earth once more, we see Solas gathering the fragments of the orb, broken and spent.

Solas confesses that "it was not supposed to happen this way" meaning that his plan of giving Corypheus the orb had not contemplated any of these events. He probably knows that now he will need this power from the person he respects deeply: Mythal.

The sky heals leaving a green scar only.

By the end of the game, we know that Solas left the Inquisition and can't be found. We know he has access to the Eluvians since the beginning of the Inquisition, so he probably left Skyhold via Eluvians and he will be travelling through them from now on, as the book Tevinter Nights seems to show.

#main quest #Corypheus #andraste #andrastian design #orb #elven orb #Dwarf with long limbs #Faceless figure holding a crown #elves #elvhen #qunari #Evanuris Mosaics #mythal #mythal mosaic

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poetandwolf · 1 year ago

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cw-abuse, spiritual abuse, ect.

some bullshit that had happened to me, and I kind of feel like sharing it may help someone else and let them know they aren’t alone.

In 2000 - there are so many fucked up layers to this shit show. But we will just call the main abuser E.

She was convinced I was casting spells on her and that Alhazad was out to kill her (I mean... well. No wait, at that point he wouldn't be trying to do anything and anything he did do after the fact she brought on herself.) But she had no idea who he really was. No one did. They just thought he was this black haired witchy dude.

But she HATED me and I have no fucking idea why she loathed me. She basically copied my identity. When we first met she was this Straight Christian Girl who listened to R&B and Country. She wanted Trystan to love her- and she saw how much Trystan loved me (major love triangle here) So slowly but surly she was this weird copy of me. She dressed like I did, all of sudden believed in the spirits and was obsessed with Wild ARMs. She started listening to the same music, then started drawing furries it was so fucking bizarre looking back. I didn't see it when I was a kid.

Back then I was on the fence about being trans she she fucking attacked that- claiming I astrally did this, and did that, and ect. I'd get calls from her pretending to be Jack/Garrett yelling at me for attacking her--- like.. what? lmao. Jack was my f/o-dad :c and honestly the relationship never recovered.. But I just wanted to hang out with Trystan and gain Garrett’s approveal and so I had this idea I could just pretend I was a new spirit.

and let me tell you.

if I showed any signs of being the real 'me' she would drill me. I had to follow a script. I had to act like various cartoon characters or else I'd get my ass beat. People call Alhazad sadistic and a horrible person- this bitch.

”Why didn’t you leave?” don’t you dare victim blame me. I believed the gods were going to *kill me* at this point in my life. I was so alone and brainwashed, and loneliness will fuck up your better judgement.

On June 9th in 2000 some coward ratted me out to her, that I had been me all along, and she flipped the fuck out. And... that seriously gave me some ptsd I always get scared on that night that the knife will come back into my back. It’s just... someone I trusted so deeply put me in what I perceived to be a great danger.. and I never got over it. Just trusting people unconditionally and then having your whole world ripped out from under you. Never knowing when it can and will happen again. Humans commit some of the most abhorrent things to one another.

This psychopath makes in-game Alhazad look like a saint. I was 16 at the time, and very autistic and YOUNG and just so badly wanted a found family because my real one was in pieces.

#personaltalapuffs

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eddieswh0r · 2 years ago

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Hello! I saw you just followed me and that your requests are open so I figured I'd ask for something if it's alright! I'll admit, I don't know much about the main plot of Stranger Things (horror media makes me paranoid) but I've somehow managed to hyperfixate on a man from a show I've never even watched lmao - in my defense, I've watched a ton of compilations about him so I know the basics ;-;

Could you please write something about Eddie with an anxious reader who's really into D&D? Maybe she wears a D&D shirt that says like "Carpe DM" and he's already kinda been crushing on her so he invites her over for Hellfire? And then he sees her fun side because she's way more wild when playing D&D and he just falls completely in love. Whether or not you want to make it spicy is up to you!

Thanks so much, and don't feel the need to make it too long if you don't want to! Just some headcanons about this is fine but really it's up to you! Have a wonderful weekend, I wish you the best of luck!

Oh the Carpe DM shirt is just THE cutest thing Eddie has ever seen, that's when he knew she was the one for him!!

Eddie would 100% purposely skip class just so he could stare at you through the window in the door of the class you're in

Eddie would absolutely have a new interest in the school library, not to learn or read but because that's where you went on free periods and after school, he'd sit across from you but a few chairs down with a book upside down because he just wanted to stare

You'd notice him subtly following you around for weeks and it literally made your anxiety through the roof because the look of him terrified you, you took on a panic attack and heard "Hey, you 'Kay? There's nothing to worry about, you're safe, breathe with me" as he had his hands on your shoulders

He took you outside for air and you both sat on the grass, under a tree and ate your lunch together, he explained how much he loved your shirt and told you about hellfire

The next few weeks were nothing short of perfect, after some convincing on Eddies part, you'd meet under the tree every day to eat lunch together, you never smiled this much. Ever

God can you imagine when the day came to ask you to come to Hellfire? How excited he'd be? Literally bouncing around like a fucking golden retriever

You'd naturally be so nervous turning up, wearing another D&D shirt with some pun on it that Eddie found absolutely hilarious

A hellfire shirt already awaiting you, Eddies big brown eyes so full of love and pure happiness as he gave it to you

Picking the skin around your nails, you anxiously waited for the campaign to start, Eddie noticed you looked lost so with a whisper to your ear "I've got you, everything is okay" you pushed your hair behind your ear smiling coyly, blushing at his breath on your face

The campaign started and you didn't interject much because stepping on anyone's toes at this point wouldn't be go down well at your first campaign with them

As the game went on, you spoke a little more, you cheered, huffed and even slipped a curse word much to Eddies joy

God, he couldn't take his eyes off you, watching how you rolled the dice, the loud belly laugh that fell from your lips, waving your arms around

What really got Eddie going, hard, is when you stood your ground wanting to take action and not run away from the villain Eddie had created and "Kill the son of a bitch" as you slammed a fist on the table. His dick literally jumped when your fist connected with the table

Eddie grinned like a Cheshire cat, leaning back into his chair as you all cheered for the win you got, jumping up and down in glee you glanced at Eddie who was just simply admiring you totally head over heels by this point for someone who loved D&D as much as he did.

You very shyly accepted his offer of going to his trailer with the rest of them for a movie, horror didn't really scare you but Poltergeist did

A few jumps and squeals later, Eddies arm found its way around you and you moved yourself into him, burying your face into his shoulder

All the boys left together but Eddie had offered to drive you home, you tried to politely decline but he wouldn't take no for an answer, fuck that boy is stubborn as shit!

Eddie even walked you up to your door like a real gentleman, that's if gentlemen have shaggy hair, a chain on their ripped jeans and a hand full of rings.

He gushed about how he'd had the best time with you and your cheeks instantly turned fucking crimson, looking up through your eye lashes you started to pick your fingers again, something you did out of being anxious and nervous.

Eddie took your hands in his ever so gently and moved a few steps closer "You don't need to be nervous around me, I told you, you're safe. You're always safe with me sweetheart"

Fuck the literal fireworks you felt when his hand brushed your hair behind your ear and he fucking kissed you, Jesus Christ, you melted, you'd never been kissed before, not that Eddie knew. It wasn't something that cropped up in conversation

"Night sweetheart" ughhhh. Eddie fuckin' Munson. I love you.

please this was so rushed bc im so behind with asks 😭

i hope its okay, if not i will re do one for you i swear❤

#eddie x y/n #eddie munson #joseph quinn #joe quinn #stranger things #eddie stranger things #eddie munson smut #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #stranger things x y/n #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson imagine #eddie smut #headcanon #thanks for the ask!

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bratkook · 4 years ago

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almost. (m) jjk.

not yet, almost, right now

pairing. jungkook x reader genre. fluff, baby angst, smut word count. 6.4k warnings. two idiots!!, pining, masturbation (m. and f.), use of vibrator, accidental voyeurism?, more feelings come to light!! summary. jungkook tries to be the best wingman he could be in your new venture after your breakup. he could do it, right? note. part two of not yet, some more feelings are exposed, please don’t hate oc she is but a pendeja that doesn’t see the obvious feelings jungkook has but she has good intentions i promise<3 there will most likely be a final part,,if you guys are into it lmao okie bye

The cool summer breeze flows around you as you’re sitting under the shade, eyes focused on the chaos of runny yolk and hashbrowns that is your breakfast. Jungkook on the other hand, is focused on you. His signature yellow shades block out the sun reflecting from passing cars, concealing his eyes just enough for you to not see him blatantly staring at you while you stuff your face.

The charmed smile he has falters slightly when you look directly at him, hashbrown lingering by your lip as you repeat his name. “Sorry, what?”

Your brows come together as you smile at his zoned out state, something you had grown fond of in the years of knowing him, always enjoying the small dazed look that graced his face whenever he was lost in his thoughts. His lips push out slightly in question, curious eyes wondering just what you could have been asking him.

“I was saying that I think I’m giving up on crushes and love.” You say it so easily, mind made up as you grin at him before continuing to shovel hashbrowns into your mouth, only pausing to take a sip of your iced coffee.

Jungkook tries his best to seem unaffected, nodding along in interest as he takes a steady bite of his own food. “Really?”

“Yeah,” you sigh, taking a look around at the people surrounding you: friends having breakfast together and snapping photos, couples feeding each other food with smiles on their faces, a lone man with his dog perched on the seat across from his while he worked on his computer. You briefly wonder if all of them, even the dog, have better luck with love than you do.

“I think I’m cursed,” you continue. “All of my exes have been assholes, and I’ve always been too blind to see it until it’s over and I’m left crying over Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams.”

“Maybe you’re just looking for love in the wrong places,” Jungkook shrugs, internally screaming because he’s who you should be looking at if you wanted love.

Not to toot his own horn, but Jungkook liked to think he was a good guy, a great boyfriend even. His previous track record of relationships could attest to that, all of them ending on mutual terms, still friendly and civil with each other. He’s almost certain if there was a Yelp page for him it would be at least 4.5 stars with comments raving about how great he is, even little anecdotal touches about how he always gave away his hoodies or offered to cook breakfast.

He was a god damn catch, why couldn’t you see that?

“Maybe prince charming is a lot closer than you think,” he grumbles out, stabbing his omelette with a little more force than necessary, fork clanking against the plate. And when you gasp in realization he freezes, slowly looking back up at you and seeing the way your eyes widen.

“Wait, maybe you’re right!” Your hand shoots across the table, gripping onto his forearm and it sends a shock throughout him, skin tingling at your touch. “You know that coffee shop below our building? That cute barista always puts a heart next to my name. Do you think I should ask for his number?”

Jungkook blinks once, slowly twirls his fork in his hand and blinks again before staring up at the sky, mentally asking why he couldn’t just go out and say it. “Hm, I don’t think you should.“

With a defeated sigh you retract your hand, slumping back into your seat and grabbing your iced coffee once more, stirring the straw and ice around as you nod. “True. What if he feels obligated to give it to me just because he doesn’t want to get fired in case I go all Karen on his ass.”

That wasn’t why Jungkook had said not to, but sure, that works too, so he hums along.

“I bet he draws hearts on all the other girls cups too.” You huff, playfully wiping a tear under your eye with a smile.

“I’ve actually—“

“You know what I—“

You both freeze mid sentence, Jungkook’s cheeks tinted a light pink as he stutters on his words, wide eyes staring at you as if he had caught himself before you cut him off. But as you’re about to tell him to go on, he waves you off and urges you to speak first.

“I was just gonna say that maybe I should go through that wild phase people usually go through after breakups.”

He sets his silverware down on the plate and sips his water, giving you an odd look. “Wild phase? Like you wanna dye your hair red and get bangs?”

“No,” you cackle, ruffling a hand through your own hair as you picture yourself with that combination. “I should just go out and hook up with people. I feel like I’ve either been in a relationship or entirely single, so it could be fun right?”

“Uh, maybe...” he trails off, rolling his lips together in thought, not exactly fond of hearing you say that when he had felt the confession about to roll off his tongue. He takes a slow breath, trying to see this from a neutral point, the point of a supportive friend wanting to help you get over a breakup.

“How do you go about it?”

“Me?” he chokes, pointing at his chest as if there was magically some other person you could be addressing.

“Yes, you. Need I remind you, we share a wall between our beds.” You roll your eyes, but the smile on your face shows that you’re speaking of this lightly, not entirely annoyed by the fact that you had heard Jungkook during his own fair share of hook ups.

He’s not ashamed of it, but considering he never really brought up being able to hear you, he thought you’d pretend to never hear him. It wasn’t too often that he had a girl over, the number of hookups only increasing after you got with Hajoon and loosely cut ties with Jungkook. But from what you had heard—and seen thanks to your nosey self looking through peep holes once they left—it was very rarely the same girl.

So to you, Jungkook was a pro at the art of hookups.

“Right, sorry,” he grimaces, a sheepish smile on his lips as he wonders just how many times his activities kept you up at night.

“It’s fine, consider us even.” A teasing laugh follows your statement, enjoying the flustered look on his face, how his cheeks get even darker in embarrassment. Jungkook was used to the two of you talking like this, neither of you having a filter especially when it came to sexual aspects, but he hadn’t had a conversation like this since before you got with Hajoon. It would take some getting used to again.

“So, give me the tips. Where do you find people?”

Jungkook leans back into his chair, arms stretching out on either side of him, short sleeves of his black tee bunching up and revealing more of his tattoos and the rippling of his muscles. With a small laugh he rakes his hand through his fluffy hair, giving you a small smile. “Honestly? Anywhere. I’ve gotten girl’s numbers at the gym and at coffee shops, but bars are the best bet for something quick.”

“Ugh, fuck you and your pretty privilege.”

“What?” he guffaws, smiling wide and showing you his adorable smile as he laughs loudly, not caring about the attention he draws to your table. He doesn’t even realize how the table full of girls is now trying to discreetly stare at him, because his eyes are on you. You see it though, and it further proves your point. “What the hell is pretty privilege?”

Your wild hands gesture towards him, a look of disbelief on your face as you do so. “You! Of course girls line up to hand you their number, have you seen yourself? Pretty privilege,” you jab your fork at him in time with your final words, a smirk on your glossy lips.

Jungkook feels his confidence grow at your casual compliment, tongue prodding at his cheek as he stares down at his food, trying not to smile too hard. You thought he was pretty, that was a win in his book.

“C’mon,” he teases, foot gently nudging your leg underneath the table. “You could totally score someone's number. Plus there's always apps if you just wanna test the water.”

You give your plate a contemplated stare, “Sure, how hard could it be?”

Admittedly, the answer to that question was: not hard at all. You had met all your previous boyfriends in person, through mutual friends or shared classes back in college, never once dipping your toe into the world of Tinder or Bumble. Who knew all it would take was a couple of selfies and the strategic body shot to have boys circling around you like some new-age, slightly filthier version of rapunzel.

Jungkook knew though, not at all shocked by how quickly you get a match the following day when he’s at your place. His eyes are focused on the screen in front of him, helping you beat a level in your favorite game that you had been stuck on. But the second you gasp as if you’ve won the lottery, he pauses the game entirely and gives you an odd look.

“What?”

His answer comes in the form of your phone thrusted in his direction, lit up screen displaying your profile picture and the one of the boy you had just matched with. Jung Hoseok. Jungkook’s eyes narrow as he reads the name, trying to remember it in case he somehow had a friend in common that knew all the dirt on him.

He has a similar pair of yellow shades on his own head, thicker black rims around them and a charming smile on his face. Jungkook chuckles to himself. Yellow shades? How original.

“What do I say?” you question, eyes looking nervous as you wiggle the phone in his face. The small white bar beneath your match urges you to start a conversation, and coming up with the right words to say makes you overthink it all.

“Just say hi and tack on some cute emoji. It’s not that hard,” he laughs, pushing the phone back at you. Jungkook knew you could start the message off any way you wanted and this Jung Hoseok would eat it right up. How could he not, the alluring smile in your profile photo would draw anyone in.

“Okay, I did it.” Your phone is instantly locked and chucked aside in an attempt to be forgotten, choosing to grab the remote out of Jungkook’s hands for another distraction. It only lasts a brief second before you’re killed by the boss Jungkook was trying to defeat.

“Really?” Jungkook huffs, yanking the remote back into his hands, needing a distraction himself. He was still trying to wrap his head around the fact that you were searching for a fuck buddy while he sat beside you. How crazy would it be if he suggested being your fuck buddy, offered to help you through this so called wild phase you were searching for.

No. That’s not what he wants.

Would he enjoy it? Sure. But he could already imagine how much worse his heart would hurt if his feelings came to light and yours were non-existent. That is if you’d even agree to it.

“Relax, he’s probably thinking of what to reply.”

You make a noise of disagreement, fingers itching to unlock your device to see if it was true, slowly inching towards it until you finally grab it and go back onto the app. Jungkook just chuckles as he goes back to helping you with your game, not wanting to look at you as you giggle at your device. He could already imagine what this guy was telling you for you to turn into a giddy mess not even two minutes in.

He tunes it all out, eyes focused on the screen, fingers gripping the remote with a little more force than needed. His concentration helps him though, finally passing the level you’ve been stuck on for the past two weeks.

“You’re welcome,” he sighs, making a show of stretching out and sending you a smile, having it falter slightly when he sees your eyes still focused on the screen of your phone. With a frown he looks back at the television, saving the game before turning it off altogether.

Once he gets up from the couch, making his way over to the media console to store the remotes, is when you look up at him. “You’re right, this is easy!”

Jungkook doesn’t feel the usual pride that comes with being right, but the cheerful look on your face prevents him from feeling salty. Coming back towards the couch, he sits beside you once more, facing you as he rests his elbow on the back cushion to lean on. ��Told you so.”

He keeps that same smile on his face as you mention how quick Hoseok was to ask you out on a date, even as you bring up the fact that this date would be at his place, and Jungkook could decipher netflix and chill any way some greasy boy tried to conceal it.

“I hope he knows I don’t want anything serious,” you mumble, chewing on your fingernail as you scroll through the messages.

Jungkook could almost laugh at how blissfully unaware you were of the piranha infested water that was the great sea of Tinder. Of course this yellow sunglass wearing wannabe version of him knows you don’t want anything serious, why else would he be so quick to invite you over with the cheeky excuse to watch movies.

All he can do is shrug as he stares at you, lips pressed together in an effort to not say something that would totally ruin everything. Instead, Jungkook does everything he can to be the best version of a wingman you could get. He tells you the ins and outs of hookups, how you should definitely not text him the minute you leave his place and tell him you had fun, don’t talk about anything super personal involving family or your work, and if he doesn’t offer to go down on you but expects a blowjob he’s a loser.

It’s solid advice that you mentally jot down, subjecting him to further questions your mind comes up with and even asking him for help on an outfit via text the night of your hangout with Jung Hoseok.

Jungkook stares at the photos for a little too long if he’s being honest. They weren’t spectacular selfies that you had taken much effort for, their sole purpose being showing off the outfit, but the way you look so focused as you snapped the shot had him zooming into your face and smiling like an idiot. When you double text him with a long line of question marks he snaps out of it, deciding on the second option you picked of mom jeans and a cropped shirt. Cute and casual, and definitely something Jungkook preferred, but he’d never tell you that.

When you finally text him a thumbs up and tell him you’re on your way out he just hearts the message before locking his device and trudging to the living room. It’s not often that he wallows in self pity, spacing those days out so far he barely remembers them. But they usually went exactly like this, ordering a large meat lovers pizza with extra cheese, drinking far too many Mike’s hard lemonade—because despite how much they made his stomach hurt they were tasty so he didn’t care—and binge watching his comfort show: Modern Family.

But even as he sulks on his couch, practically sinking into the cushions with horrible posture and a slice of pizza resting on his chest, he can’t find it in himself to chuckle at Cam and Mitch’s usual banter. He’s too busy thinking about which movie you’re currently watching, if you were watching it. Who’s Jungkook kidding though, you were totally getting your guts rearranged right now.

Taking an aggressive bite out of the crust he frowns and raises the volume up on his television, attempting to drown the mocking voice in his head calling him a loser for not admitting to his feelings. He knew this, knew he should have said something when he wanted to at breakfast, but Jungkook was afraid that if he confessed as you were talking about hooking up, that you’d see him as taking advantage of a situation instead of being genuine. I mean who wouldn’t? You say you want something casual and suddenly he’s spilling his heart out and you’re supposed to believe he’s not some pig trying to butter you up. He didn’t want to get labeled as a creepy neighbor after the good times you’ve had.

“So stupid,” he grumbles to himself as he takes another swig, the last drops of the alcohol hitting his tongue with a tangy aftertaste. As he sits up to place the empty bottle onto his coffee table his muscles ache, neck stiff from the unfortunate position it had been subjected to for the last three hours. With a small huff he’s rolling his shoulders, reaching for his discarded phone to see the time—and also check if you’d sent him some SOS text—but he finds nothing besides the bright numbers indicating that it was nearing midnight.

In true pity party day fashion, he doesn’t even bother cleaning up after his mess, just tossing the dirty dishes into the sink to be washed tomorrow when he would force himself to be in a better mood. Instead, he grabs a water and his phone and waddles into his bedroom.

The moonlight illuminates the space enough for him to keep the light switch off, undressing from his crumb covered sweats and shirt, choosing to remain in his boxers as he slipped under the cold duvet. The sheets feel fresh against his hot cheeks, flush from the alcohol, cooling him down and making his body relax.

Jungkook knows he should sleep, needing to be up early tomorrow for work, but he can’t stop his mind from wandering into dangerous territory. His buzzed brain has no qualms imagining exactly what you were doing right now, wondering if you’d be the type to act shy at a guy’s house for the first time, if you’d initiate the first move or not. Jungkook had only seen it up close once under the flash of strobe lights and the haze of alcohol, but he can still picture the soft smile on your face before you go in for a kiss, and he grumbles under his breath when he realizes that he wouldn’t be the one kissing you tonight.

What he doesn’t know, is that you wouldn’t be the one getting kissed tonight either. The Jung Hoseok you had perceived through Tinder, assuming he was all casual and DTF with his netflix and chill suggestion, had been anything but. What you thought would be a steamy night, ended up becoming a nice dinner and comedy watched, morphing into some version of game night where you discovered he was a little too competitive than you were used to. The only action you got was a kiss to your cheek as he walked you to your car and a promise for another date. A promise you would not be keeping.

So as Jungkook lays in bed while his thoughts turn into some fantasy of you moaning out his name, you shuffle into your bedroom and slip into your pajamas with a defeated sigh. You had already texted your best friend telling her what a bust tonight had been, deciding to just tell Jungkook all about it tomorrow because you knew he was most likely fast asleep now. And as you settle under your own covers, inches away from Jungkook with only a wall seperating you, you decide to just call it a night and pretend it never happened.

Just as you shut your eyes, nuzzling into your pillow, you hear the first moan come from behind the wall. A small cry of despair escapes you as you bury your face into your sheets, tugging them up and over your head to block the sound of Jungkook getting some action the same night you had been left high and dry. Of course he would, assuming you’d be getting the same treatment at your date's place, why wouldn’t he take advantage of your absence and not have to muffle his partner’s moans the way he usually did.

You’re just going to ignore it, until you hear a moan that sounds strangely like your own name. Maybe it's wishful thinking on your part, your horny brain deciding to pretend that Jungkook was calling for you instead of whoever he was with. It might be a little wrong for you to have that fantasy of your neighbor, but you aren’t blind. He’s hot, and adorably sweet, the perfect package for any girl he tried to swoon. And judging by the cries you’ve heard of lucky girls prior, you know he was good in bed.

You’re just desperate now. That’s the excuse you tell yourself as you slowly settle onto your back, feeling your body warm up when you focus on his muffled groans, desperate and needy. As your hand slowly slides down your shirt, you shut your eyes, biting down onto your lip to muffle any sound you could make when your fingers slip underneath your pants and past your underwear.

Jungkook on the other hand doesn’t care about his volume. His boxers are tugged down his thighs, knees bent as he slowly ruts into his sticky palm. His hand is tacky with the lube he had messily squirted on, thick cock glistening in the light coming in from his window. He can’t look away from it, mouth dropped open as he groans, imagining it was your hand tightly wrapped around him, your spit covering his cock instead of that strawberry flavored lube.

“Ah fuck,” he moans, shutting his eyes and throwing his head back onto his soft pillows when his thumb rubs along his slit. It continues to leak beads of precum, quickly wiped away to join the mess on his cock when his hand slides back down and squeezes along his base.

You hear that loud and clear, and when the female voice you’re expecting never follows, you realize he must be taking care of himself. It makes you feel a little less guilty now as your fingers trail along your slit, collecting the slick coating your folds before you softly circle your clit. A choked gasp fills the air at the small sensation, your body already wired after having expected to get some action tonight; it totally had nothing to do with your hot neighbor jacking off inches away from you.

With your eyes fluttering shut, you strain your ears to make out any other noise, muffling your own groans with a hand pressed against your mouth. The bed creaks lightly underneath you as you roll your hips into your hand, getting into a smooth rhythm that makes your body buzz.

Slowly, your imagination runs wild, and you wonder just what Jungkook was thinking of as he did this. Was he watching some porn as he did it, using his own filthy thoughts to push himself to ecstacy, or was this just something he needed to do to be able to sleep?

“Shit, so good,” he groans out, voice raspy, but you can sense his desperation through the drywall. It’s what has you sinking a single digit into your drenched entrance, biting down onto your lower lip when you feel the glide of your walls as you start to thrust into yourself, easing in another and mewling at the slight stretch.

Jungkook would absolutely give his left leg to know what your pussy felt like, he didn’t even care how disgusting he sounded by admitting that to himself, it was true. Blame it on the hard lemonade that made his stomach ache and his mind unfiltered, but he could almost visualize how you’d look above him, could practically feel the warmth of your core wrapped around him, dripping down his length as he fucked into you.

He knows you’re loud in bed, never being one to conceal your cries of pleasure and he would die happy to hear his name come out of your mouth as you creamed his cock. But for now, his hand would have to do.

His lids feel too heavy, jaw slack as the pleasure flows through his body. The wet squelch of his palm fills the room, mingling with his pants and groans, air growing thick around him. It’s been a while since Jungkook had jacked off, and even longer since he’d been able to do it shamelessly in bed without the fear of you hearing him, but now that he thought you were gone he can’t find it in himself to cover his mouth or groan into his pillows like he usually did.

The pent up frustration fogs up his mind, cranks the lust up to 11 until his free hand is gripping his sheets beside him, bed frame creaking as his thrusts speed up. The thuds of his headboard hitting the wall come from behind you, a choked moan blending in with it, and it has you scrambling for your bedside drawer.

The pajamas you wear get yanked off your legs and tossed aside after you grab your trusty vibrator, settling onto your back once more with huff. All it takes is a press of a button for the device to come to life, buzzing in your hand as you trail it up your thighs. A gasp escapes you when you pass it over your mound, brushing against your clit and sending a jolt of pleasure through you.

“Oh my god,” you whimper when you finally press the vibrating head directly onto your sensitive clit, legs spreading further apart as you increase the intensity. You could clearly hear the raise in Jungkook’s moans, and that's when the first irrational thought pops into your mind.

How easy would it be for you to head over to his place and deal with both of your problems. Surely Jungkook wouldn’t have an issue with you offering to suck his dick, wouldn’t mind letting you sink down onto him if it was just a friendly favor.

The little devil on your shoulder tells you it would be mutually beneficial, urging you to get up and walk to Jungkook’s with the vibrator still in your hand, but you can’t. This alone felt like enough of a dirty secret, a secret you’d have absolutely no problem keeping because although you feel slightly ashamed, you couldn’t deny how turned on you are.

The flashes of all the times you’ve heard Jungkook with other people play in your mind, the screams of his name that he tried to muffle, pleas for him to go faster, the resounding smack of his palm on flesh that always left you wide eyed when you heard it. And you start to wonder if maybe you’d be into that, the feeling of his large tattooed hand connecting with your ass, gently tapping against your cheek for you to open up for his cock.

That fantasy is like the first ember needed to start the fire inside of you, spreading uncontrollably until you’re bucking into your vibrator, teeth biting down on your lip to keep any potential moans of his name from slipping out.

“Fuck, fuck,” he chants, the same fire burning within him. Maybe your minds are linked telepathically, his thoughts gravitating to the same filthy fantasy you had. Jungkook was very much an ass man, knowing very well how good your butt looked in jeans from how often he stared at it, he could only imagine how good it would look as he fucked you from behind. Picturing the way it would bounce back from the force of his thrusts, eyes glued to the way you’d soak his cock, mimicking the tightness of your walls with a firm grip of his palm.

Jungkook can sense his orgasm approaching, leaves his chest feeling tight as he pants, legs gliding along his sheets for leverage to continue fucking into his hand. You’re not far off either, vibrator set to the highest setting you can practically feel your bones rattling, free hand slipped under your shirt as you pinch at your pebbled nipples. You’re both on the brink of falling over the edge, the same question playing in your mind: where would you want Jungkook to cum?

As his moans get breathier, whiny in a way you’d never imagine them to be, you mentally decide that you’d want him to cum inside of you, wanting to see the way his cute face would twist up in pleasure as he filled you up. Jungkook hopes you would, throwing all responsible thinking aside for that sweet moment of ecstasy and the mental picture is enough to finally push him over.

“Ah shit, baby,” he cries out in his room—thankfully having half the mind to not cry out your name as he came—eyes rolling back as his cock twitches in his palm, ribbons of cum splashing onto his stomach and chest. The warmth hits his skin, more droplets continuing to leak out as his palm milks his orgasm, stomach hiccuping and back arching from the stimulation.

The choked moan is what has your own orgasm washing over you, your palm slapping over your mouth so hard you know you’ll feel the ache later but you don’t care. A muffled gasp blends with the buzzing of your toy, thighs tensing up as your body tingles and writhes around on your sheets.

The only thing you can think of is Jungkook, the charming smile he’d give you when he listened to you rant about anything, his annoying habit of rolling up his sleeves to show off his muscles, the cute scowl on his face whenever you managed to beat him at Mario Kart, and the soft feeling of his alcohol coated lips on yours. It leaves you feeling warm as your orgasm flows through you, lying limp on the bed as you mewl at the sensitivity.

When you realize your thoughts have strayed from ‘pure sexy Jungkook fantasyland’, and switched over to ‘Jeon Jungkook your adorable neighbor’, your eyes go wide, finger immediately going to turn off the vibrator. In your haste to shut it off, you click the wrong button, changing the pulsing settings and nearly screaming when the device starts to buzz erratically against your overly sensitive clit.

With a strained gasp you yank it away from yourself, turn it off and throw it aside, horribly miscalculating the size of your bed and watching in horror as it lands on the floor with a loud thud. The complete silence from both sides makes the noise sound deafening, and all you can do is sit on your bed, half naked, and hope Jungkook is still too busy basking in his post orgasm bliss to hear the bang.

Although the blood is still pumping in his ears, he heard the thud clearly. His heart stops in his chest as he lays there, too scared to breathe in case he’d somehow make too much noise, suddenly afraid of being too loud after he had just made a show of himself. Jungkook slowly sits himself up, grimacing at the stickiness on his stomach before pressing his ear against his headboard to try to hear anything else.

All you want to do is yank the covers over yourself and go to sleep, pretend your horrendous date and your dirty thoughts about your friend never happened. The sobering mentality that comes after an orgasm settles into you, leaving you staring at the floor with a crease between your brows as you wonder what the hell came over you.

When Jungkook hears nothing else, he sighs in relief, hauling himself out of bed to grab another pair of underwear before entering his bathroom to clean up. As he stares at his own reflection in the mirror, he frowns at how pathetic he feels. The throbbing headache of his earlier drinks is already starting to kick in, body now sweaty from exertion, stomach covered in his cum.

“Such a loser,” he grumbles out, grabbing a wad of tissues to wipe away the mess on his skin before walking back out. Here he was, getting off to the thought of you, while you were out having your post-breakup wild phase.

His hands grab his phone as he reaches his nightstand, flopping back onto the bed and unlocking the device. It’s now one in the morning, and you still hadn’t text him, which either meant you were having the time of your life, or Jungkook had to track down this Jung Hoseok. The slightly protective side of him won’t allow him to sleep until he hears back from you, fingers already typing out a message and hitting send.

Jungkook 1:23am : you safe or am i gonna have to go all Liam Neeson on this guy?

When your phone vibrates on your nightstand you gasp, grabbing it before it could make any more noise. Seeing Jungkook’s name flash on the screen makes your blood run cold, already imagining what the text could be: calling you dirty for getting off on him, making fun of you, telling you to come ove—no stop that.

Finally mustering up the courage, you open it up, a small laugh spilling out as you read his message, relief flooding through you as you realize that meant he thought you were still with Hoseok.

Y/N 1:26am : oh yeah, you gonna show him your very particular set of skills? lol

Y/N 1:26am : i just got home though

Y/N 1:26am : like right now

Y/N 1:26am : still sitting in my living room

Y/N 1:27am : haha

He laughs at your string of texts, something you hear as he settles into bed. Jungkook ebbs away the small feeling of jealousy in his chest, trying to see the silver lining of this. You weren’t rushing to tell him anything about your date which meant it either went so good you wanted to keep it to yourself, or it was subpar and you wouldn’t be seeing this yellow sunglass wearing copycat again.

Jungkook 1:29am : glad you got home safe, goodnight y/n!

Sending back a goodnight text, you lock your phone and slide deeper into bed, pulling the sheets up to your chin as you stare at the ceiling. You already know the only thing you’ll be dreaming about is your cute neighbor with a bunny smile and body proportions that contradicted it. And as Jungkook lays in bed, wondering if he’ll have to push the crush aside, you’re barely coming to terms with the fact that the small glowing feeling that came with being around him might be something else.

Every single one of your interactions gets rewinded and played back like a seamless montage, remembering just how many almost moments there was between you. The way his eyes would flash down to your lips whenever you playfully argued on your couch, hands yanking the remotes from his in a game of tug of war that left you way too close in the heat of the moment. How he’d let you braid his hair anytime you found a new youtube tutorial, his starry eyes staring at you with so much adoration it made your stomach flip, brushing it off as love for a friend.

Then came the jokes from your friends, constantly teasing you about Jungkook, playfully saying they would try to sleep with him just because they liked the scowl on your face, and how quickly you tried to play it off. How the sweet old lady from the convenience store downstairs always assumed you were dating when you came in together, the low jab she sent when you walked in with Hajoon and she said she preferred you with Jungkook. That argument had been one of the ones that left him bolting out of your apartment with a nasty slam of the door, spewing nasty words at you, calling you blind for not seeing it and dumb for acting like you had no idea what he was talking about.

And for the first time, you come to the sudden realization that Hajoon was right. His deep set insecurities about Jungkook had stemmed from scraps of the truth, not just from him but from you too. The amount of times you’d find a way to slide Jungkook’s name into a conversation about anything, telling him funny stories about him, too lost in thought to see that while you were giggling as you reminisce, he was staring at you in disbelief.

The final thought that makes you want a blackhole to swallow you up, comes in the form of you, grabbing Jungkook’s face before planting a kiss on his unsuspecting lips at the club. You want to scream into your pillow as you recall it, how he had almost leaned back in to kiss you again before you had sobered him up with your dumb question rooted in revenge.

“Oh my god, I’m such a bitch.” you whimper. Subjecting Jungkook to be your wingman, jokingly telling him he should be your fake boyfriend more often, asking him for tips with hook ups. If everyone else could see it but you, he probably thought you were purposely friendzoning him.

The guilt piles on top of you as you start to piece together every moment that flew over your head, only making you bury yourself deeper into your sheets. It makes your heart twist, taking note of how Jungkook was always so quick to put a smile on his face despite how naive you were to it all, wondering if maybe it was too late to try to make something of this now. How many times could you call Jungkook ‘bro’ and treat him like you didn’t see him romantically, before he decided there was no hope for him anymore.

So as you force yourself to sleep, nerves and uncertainty weighing heavy on your mind, Jungkook snores away as he dreams of the almost moments that could have been.

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