#new covid relaxations
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It is interesting how much math comes into even the most basic of like. Making things. Making almost anything. And often not numbers necessarily but proportions and geometry. I think all the time about how castles were built with geometry at the heart of it. And I use the same kind of proportional math to make socks fit. And none of my pieces are ever knit with a prime number of stitches--because you use factors to make neat colorwork and ribbing and different stitches. Idk ! I remember constantly thinking 'how the hell is THIS gonna come in useful ?' But it always does. Math is at the heart of everything, and knowing how to apply it is a tool of critical importance to Thinking Up A Shape And Making It.
#it turns out it is not covid vaccine making me highly fucked up but rather this new med which is fun#um#one of thise 'high but wow. in such a bad way' kinda experience atm#almost fell down the stairs#tripped while just standing#and its like. ok so the thing is i go to pain management to manage my pain right ? makes sense#and then all they have to offer is shit that fucks me up more. the muscle relaxant that seems to have permanently#loosened all my joints so they are WAY WORSE NOW#stupid ssris that make me fall constantly and fuck with my brain#i literally just need a painkiller that works. that is all. we know what was effective from surgery#but they of course will never prescribe opiods. oh the horror. imagine.#i could scream#anyway. uh thinking about the interconnectedness of math in all things is much more fun than screaming#knitting
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#i dunno man#everytime i read some new thing about covid and long covid#i just feel like im losing my marbles#im the only one still masking it feels like#nobody at my drs offices wear them even the soecialists#my therapist acts like this is an irrational fear of mine#so i dont talk about it as much#shes happy im not isolating myself. and not full of crippling guilt when i do go out#which is good#i agree with her on that#but. ive been numbering my bags with my n95s since i rewear them a few times#ive been using n95s since i took this job. three years in october#which is wild the longest ive worked in one place is just over a year--all seasonal work or short internships. not because i leave#or get fired/laid off#but im getting down to the end of the alphabet#i dont know what ill do when i do#literally as far as labels but also like. its a lot you know?#im debating trying new mask styles. i wanted to ages ago but hoped. i wouldnt need to wear them for much longer#now it feels like i always will.#so. second best time to plant a tree and all.#i want to get out and make friends and do fun stuff. but it's so fuckibg hard and scary#how can i make friends when i cant relax in small indoor spaces#when i. cant eat out at restaurants (due to food issues and masking)#when inviting people to my house makes me anxious for days#how can i make friends under those circumstances?#im so lonely. and so envious#of my friends who do stuff and gave partners. i want that for me but i cant have it. before it was because i moved. ecery 3-6 months#now its this. is it realky any wonder that i nearly cried reading that fic the other day#when Etho took off his mask. and it was treated so fucking kindly and like the trust geasture it was? that it would be. for me?#maybe trust is the wrong word. i dont know. comfort? feeling safe in a space with someone who respects me and my health?
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#meg talks#feeling really down and frustrated#ever since i caught covid over the new year ive just been doing so badly#it’s now halfway through may and not only am i having all sorts of weird new pain problems#to the point where i dragged myself to the er yesterday bc my usual meds didn’t do shit for me and i spent seven hours writhing in pain#but also mentally im just. constantly tapped out#before covid i was able to keep up w news and work on research projects and write multiple image descriptions every day and read books#and keep up w friends all while working full time#like even if i was in bed p much whenever i wasn’t at work i could still read and write and carry conversations#now it’s like i can only handle all of these things in small doses before my brain just shuts off#im still keeping up w news and describing what i can and working on my research projects and trying to make connections#but i feel so slow abt everything i do#it’s driving me up the wall#ive been trying for days to get through this one academic paper that’s rlly not even that long#and i just can’t do it. not for long anyway i have to read in small bursts#and then having to take muscle relaxants for these fucking spasms that make me really drowsy and sleep the whole day away…#idk. it might not even be abt covid i might be reading too much into it but it’s just pissing me off. thinking abt how nobody masks anymore#and how every time there’s a covid outbreak i won’t be able to properly protect myself or my brothers from it#bc of this fuckass job#idk im just tired and upset
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“hey so there’s been a bunch of exposures recently but we’re gonna have the volunteer party this week bc it’s outdoors so we’ll be fine. yeah it’s a bunch of people all talking maskless face to face in relatively close proximity but we’re outside so any transmission would of course be impossible” be so fucking for real
#i love this place i love volunteering there. they have air purifiers around the center and tell people in no other words that if they’re#feeling unwell in the slightest they shouldn’t come in. they’re offering free tests to anyone exposed. they’re doing so much more than so#many other places and a lot of times it’s a place im able to relax a bit#but im just. exhausted. a week from tomorrow will be the three year anniversary of my dad dying from covid so im already in a bad place#plus covid in general is a trigger for me because. yknow. i watched it slowly strangle the life from my father until he was a grey#breathless husk who couldn’t walk three steps or say three words without panting. and that was when we made him go to the hospital#and then the next time he came home it was just his ashes in a bag#but it’s been four years. five if you count the early cases that popped up in 2019. and we’re still dealing with this shit#im just tired of it. im too exhausted to have a full sobbing shaking breakdown so ive gone to the other end of the spectrum and just feel#heavy and hollow. i should probably have a big cry but i don’t have the tears or energy#vent tw#im just hoping my n95 and the air purifiers were enough to keep me from contracting it at all. the worry is the n95 could’ve been loose and#sometimes the metal on the nose loosens slightly but the mask was pretty new overall so im hoping it worked to its full capacity and kept#out any covid molecules so that i didn’t contract any#only time will tell i suppose. in the mean time#im just praying a lot bc that’s the only control i have. i will be saying the shema whenever i get too stressed about it
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hey UK followers, go get your covid boosters ASAP before these bastards take away yet another covid protection. jfc
EDIT: ffs can y'all read the tweet and the actual article, not just the headline, it says how it's 'healthy under-50s' that they're cutting access to boosters for and eventually first and second doses. Yeah, most people who would have gotten them would have by now but there's many reasons that some people haven't and these options should still be open regardless.
This bullshit approach of taking away even the vax part of "vax and relax" is going to kill and disable people. It even quotes the fuckign health minister saying "as the transition continues away from a pandemic emergency response towards pandemic recovery". THERE IS NO RECOVERY WHEN SAID PANDEMIC IS STILL GOING!!!
and YES i know the sun is a murdoch rag that's lower quality than used toilet paper but i shared this particular tweet as a) the tweeter is a reliable and staunch anti-covid advocate and b) for once this piece of shit news source is telling the truth
finally, for those saying that this isn't a big deal as "most people are fully vaccinated", think again. Most vaccine immunity wanes after several months so defining "full vaccination" as having had a primary course nearly 2 years ago is outdated and lulling people into a false sense of security. In an ideal, science-informed, non-covid-minimiser world, we'd be having boosters every 4-6 months so that antibodies don't fall below effective levels.
Basically, this post should be a wake up call to those who haven't gotten their booster if they're eligible for it and for everyone to realise how much more fucked the approach to the pandemic is becoming. not only in the UK but everywhere else tbh
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The pharmacy got some of my ADHD meds in!
After weeks!
I took ONE full dose and 20 minutes later was uncontrollably yawning and had to take a nap.
Stimulant meds are the first line, most effective treatment for ADHD, being remarkably effective in 70-75% of people with ADHD.
People with ADHD do not get high from their stimulant meds.
Becoming relaxed after taking them for the first time or after a long time off them is a sign that they are working and is an indicator that we DO have ADHD, though most doctors don't seem to know that this happens. We relax because we are closer to a normal state than we were, initially our bodies literally respond with relief.
Again. That is not what you would call even remotely a "high". Unless you are one of those awful people who believe naps are a crime.
They make our brain chemistry more normal, not less.
For those they help, we genuinely need them. Yes, both children and adults. It's fine to take them. It should not be a controversy (nor should ADHD itself be as controversial as it sadly is).
Medicating us does not lead to abuse. We are not addicts in waiting. Treating us as such is repugnant. (And treating addicts like shit is repugnant as well. People who abuse ADHD meds deserve compassion. From the ADHD community as well. They are not why we can't get meds. It's the FDA limiting how much can be oroduced and not keeping up with increased demand due to new diagnoses during COVID. It isn't other humans.)
Forcing us off medication with no support does, however, cause serious problems and can lead some people to seek them through illegal avenues, which is dangerous. Also understandable. The medical profession blames us and does not take responsibility for their part in this situation, even though they should.
We have every right to use whatever means works best for us free of censure, disapproval, and overzealous gatekeeping. If that's stimulant meds, so be it.
More respect for us please.
Especially now as we are facing rolling shortages of meds for the next few weeks or months. Your ADHD friends are struggling. Be patient.
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[ABC is Australian State Media]
While Australia debates the merits of going nuclear and frustration grows over the slower-than-needed rollout of solar and wind power, China is going all in on renewables.
New figures show the pace of its clean energy transition is roughly the equivalent of installing five large-scale nuclear power plants worth of renewables every week.
A report by Sydney-based think tank Climate Energy Finance (CEF) said China was installing renewables so rapidly it would meet its end-of-2030 target by the end of this month — or 6.5 years early.
It's installing at least 10 gigawatts of wind and solar generation capacity every fortnight.
By comparison, experts have said the Coalition's plan to build seven nuclear power plants would add fewer than 10GW of generation capacity to the grid sometime after 2035.[...]
Smart Energy Council CEO John Grimes, who recently returned from a Shanghai energy conference, said China has decarbonised its grid almost as quickly as Australia, despite having a much harder task due to the scale of its energy demand.
"They have clear targets and every part of their government is harnessed to deliver the plan," he said.
China accounts for about a third of the world's greenhouse gas emissions. A recent drop in emissions (the first since relaxing COVID-19 restrictions), combined with the decarbonisation of the power grid, may mean the country's emissions have peaked.
"With the power sector going green, emissions are set to plateau and then progressively fall towards 2030 and beyond," CEF China energy policy analyst Xuyang Dong said.[...]
The world's largest solar and wind farms are being built on the western edge of the country and connected to the east via the world's longest high-voltage transmission lines.[...]
Renewables have a "capacity factor" (the ratio of actual output to maximum potential generation) of about 25 per cent, whereas nuclear's is as high as 90 per cent.
So although China is installing solar and wind generation equivalent to five large nuclear power plants per week, their output is closer to one nuclear plant per week.[...]
To "firm" or stabilise the supply of power from its renewable energy zones, China is using a mix of pumped hydro and battery storage, similar to Australia.
"They're installing 1GW per month of pumped hydro storage," Mr Buckley said.
"We're struggling to build the 2GW Snowy 2.0 in 10 years."[...]
The China Energy Council estimated renewables generation would overtake coal by the end of this year.
The CEF's Xuyang Dong said despite the country's reliance on coal, "having China go green at this speed and scale provides the world with a textbook to do the same".[...]
"In China they decide they're going to do something and then they go and do it."
15 Jul 24
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The State of Things - and post con report
https://karenjcarlisle.com/2022/11/23/the-state-of-things-and-post-con-report/
Last weekend was the first Supanova since Covid – and one of Adelaide’s biggest thunderstorms (it reminded me of Queensland weather). Not only did we lose power for an hour and a half, but the poor artist next to me copped some drips from a leaking roof (which was sorted by day 2).
I managed to clear all my remaining stocks of the first edition of Eye of the Beholder! Now I can work on edition 2, with the new shiny cover to match books 1 and 2, after I’ve fixed a few typos found in edition 1.
This month’s Patreon Behind the Scenes will get first look at book 2’s new cover, as will newsletter subscribers. I’ll be teasing the new cover reveal later this month.
Watch this space for the upcoming cover reveal!
I’ve directed Ingram Spark to remove the old cover editions from sale. New cover editions will be officially released as follows:
1st Dec, 2022: Doctor Jack andThe Illusioneer
1st Jan, 2023: Eye of the Beholder.
The later release of Eye of the Beholder was to allow for selling my remaining stock. (I didn’t expect to sell out of it at Supanova – so, squee!) Unfortunatley, I can’t change its release date to 1st Dec (as it’s less than 30 days away – and that screws things up in Bookshop/distribution land).
Other convention news:
I’ve posted the con/event video (with a few behind the scenes bits). You can check it out HERE.
youtube
Monday (just after Supanova) I got a notice that one of my fellow authors (from Victoria) has Covid, making me a close contact.
I have a sniffle, itchy skin (not a symptom), and ache all over. Could be fibro flair (neurologist has diagnosed fibromyalgia… finally, a name to all my pains), bog-standard post-con lurgie, or…
First post-con RAT test was negative. (phew)
But I’m stuck at home this week, feeling flat, with multiple RAT tests in my future. Cancelling my acupunture (for fibro pain) was the worst. argh.
This month’s Behind the Scenes video will be coming to eligible patrons soon with a sneak peek of the Eye of the Beholder edition 2 cover reveal.
Patron’s received a sneak peek of this post.
#adelaide event#Adelaide Supanova#adelaide weather#Adventures of Viola Stewart#black out#books#Covid#event video#fibromyalgia#friends#health#live event#new covers#new editions#Photography#processes#publishing schedule#RAT test#relaxing#supanova#thunder storm#video#writing
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oh baby he down bad: charles leclerc x black fem! reader
summary: three times when you realized you truly did have your boyfriend wrapped around your finger
warnings: crying, period mention, swearing
blog moved to @delewlew
author's note: this is the first charles fic i've written so please be kind...i hope you all enjoy it. i'm sick with covid and i was loopy on meds when i wrote this so i hope it makes sense 💀 comments and other feedback are welcome and appreciated!
whoisyn uploaded a story!
you laid in your bed curled into fetal position with your phone mere inches from your forehead. the room was dark but light enough to see half of your face as your eyes welled with tears. you rambled, "a few weeks ago when i was visiting new york i bought a bunch of takis and nerds clusters because they don't sell them over here in monaco and i went to go get a bag of both and i didn't know i ran out! i'm so upset i don't even want to settle for anything else." you wailed loudly, mixing in a few laughs at how ridiculous you probably looked but you had no shame as you hit post.
the entire day had been going pretty shit from the moment when you woke up and bled through your favorite pajamas to nearly passing out when you wanted to have a relaxing hot shower to make you feel better. now you were just laying in bed clinging to your body pillow that had lingering notes of your boyfriend's cologne. it was early in the night but your entire body felt like it was hit by a bus and you were one tylenol away from needing a stomach flush yet it didn't actually feel like it was helping. to make things worse, all you wanted was your boyfriend but he was supposed to be going out right after he got off of work.
you laid stiff in your bed in an obscure position because you found that was the only one that didn't make you feel worse. the door to your bedroom opened and your boyfriend entered wearing pajama pants and no shirt. you squinted through the dim light and mumbled, "babe? thought you were going out tonight? you had that thing." charles placed two bags of your favorite snacks onto your nightstand and responded, "i was but i found out through twitter that my girlfriend was crying at home." you turned your face away from him out of embarrassment because you were literally crying over chips and candy. he turned your chin back to him, "why didn't you call me, mon cœur?" you shrugged and reached for the bag of candy, "it wasn't that serious." he pulled you closer to him and you shifted positions so your head was against his chest. charles pressed a kiss to your forehead, "anything that bothers you is serious to me, darling. but, i am here and you have your snacks so we can watch your movie like we always do, yes?" you nodded and turned on Princess and The Frog which was one of your comfort movies since childhood.
whoisyn posted a story!
replies:
lilymhe WHP IS YOUE DEALER PLS 🙏
↳ whoisyn lemme ask charles
francisca.cgomes feel better bby <3
↳ whoisyn thank you so much ily ily ily ❤️
logansargeant i still have like 3 bags of hot cheetos and those nerds things for you from when you asked me to grab you some when i had a layover in new york
↳ whoisyn omg i forgot abt those! i'll get them next week if u bring em. ty ty.
alex_albon lily wanted me to ask you who your dealer is? she said you'd know what she meant
↳ whoisyn oh my bad pookie i forgot...but charles said he just has a stash of american snacks at his place for me. i'll bring her some next weekend tho dw ❤️
↳ alex_albon THANK YOU OMG I COULD KISS YOU RN - lily
˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗
you cut through one of the alleyways out of street view once you noticed someone had been recording you as you walked through the streets of monaco. most of the time you managed to sneak through the city without being spotted but today you had to make a trip to the mall where a handful of people recognized you immediately. as someone who was never in the public eye and lived as a "regular" person you were still getting used to people recognizing you and following you around. time and time again you'd gone viral for your fan responses when they asked for pictures or autographs, usually a laugh and "why, i'm not the famous one?" you were genuine with your interactions and were known for helping fans get autographs or deliver fan letters to charles at grand prix weekends. although you enjoyed this aspect of his fanbase, sometimes it was too much and you just wanted to live in peace like you used to. so you'd learned every back road and sidewalk to your shared apartment for quick escapes.
the alleyway was quiet and away from the few people that were walking and talking beside you. just as you were to round a corner you heard a soft meow. stopping dead in your tracks you looked around confused to where the sound was coming from. there was silence then another meow, and another, and another until you realized a small orange cat a few meters away was the culprit. the tiny kitten was shaking and wet in some fluid you only hoped was water, but by the smell it was definitely sewage, pipe, or garbage juice. you wrinkled your nose and held the helpless fur ball in your palm, "shit...what the fuck do i do?" the kitten nibbled on your thumb and you stretched your finger away, "don't do that i don't want rabes or whatever cats can carry." you looked over your shoulder and sighed, "well i guess i have a cat now... let's go."
once back in your apartment you put the small kitten in your bathroom tub on an old rag. the small animal meowed and mewed the entire time you rinsed it off with the only soap you had that was safe according to google. instead of drying it's fur with your blowdryer you just towel dried it which he continued meowing. you'd never had a cat and didn't know what it meant when kittens meowed so you just started rambling, "well that's so interesting you feel that way because i literally said the same thing too! like i don't even know why that would make sense because when you really think about it they always want you to think that but in reality the truth is the complete opposite of what they want you to believe." the orange kitten looked at you with its head turned to the side and you sighed, "i don't know what you want from me man i just met you." the cat meowed louder and you mumbled, "that was definitely a cuss word but i'll let it slide."
an hour later you had given the kitten a small amount of some canned tuna and it fell asleep curled into your neck against the towel you kept it wrapped in.
charles entered your apartment with his eyes on his phone as he called out, "i'm home- oh." he usually expected you to be in your room so when you were out in the main room on the sofa he was startled. you sipped from the smoothie you'd gotten from the fridge and looked up from the book you were reading, "hi baby." charles stared at the kitten on your chest then back at you, "hi beautiful." he waited for you to say anything about the new addition and when you didn't he prompted, "what do you have there?" you looked at your hand and held up the cup, "a smoothie." you took a long sip and the straw crackled loudly, "oh yeah i figured out how to make that one hailey bieber has at that overpriced place in LA. it's actually really good i see why people lost their shit over it."
your boyfriend nodded slowly and pointed to the kitten on you, "my love, please tell me why is there a cat on you." for a minute you looked at him as if he was making it up but then you realized you never got around to actually texting him what happened. he waited for you to explain because the story had to be good if you, notorious anti-pet owner, came home with a cat and let it sleep on you.
you told him while looking at the kitten, "yeah, you're a daddy now." charles replied with too much ease, "i know that you call me that but that cat does not." you looked up with an exasperated glare, "can you be serious for one minute please." charles chuckled and apologized, "okay okay you go, tell me why i am now both of your daddys." you raised your hand to throw one of the clean rags you hadn't used at him which he shielded his face from, "okay i'm sorry go ahead." as you retold the entire thing charles just stood there with a fond smile, finding the whole ordeal quite amusing. at the end of your story he reached for the kitten and pulled back his hand, "why is it slippery?" you answered, "i put coconut oil on it so it didn't get ashy." charles started laughing once more and you smacked his shoulder lightly, "hey i never had a pet besides a fish okay! i'm trying my best here." charles pulled you into a hug and pressed a kiss to your lips, "and you're going to be a great cat mom too, you've already done a good thing."
whoisyn
liked by charles_leclerc, f1, and 44,304 others
whoisyn happy birthday son to my son chisme octavius nortorious C.A.T. l/n-leclerc
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username1 WE THOUGHT IT WAS JUST CHISME LMAO WHY WOULD YOU NAME HIM ALL THAT-
whoisyn chisme bc if you pretend to gossip he'll immediately listen and start spilling tea too. octavius because charles said it sounded regal, and notorious C.A.T. for the culture.
↳ username2 LMAO YALL KINDA ATE NGL
charles_leclerc my two loves ❤️
username2 i need limited edition chisme x ferrari merch @/scuderiaferrari
↳ scuderiaferrari 👀
olliebearman i miss my brother
↳ whoisyn he misses you too <3
username3 i remember when y/n first found him, i can't believe he's a year old already :( he's so big now
username4 i thought charles said he wanted a dog
↳ whoisyn well i didn't find a dog, i found a cat. so we have a cat.
˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗
the video had circulated on twitter only a few hours after it dropped and you'd noticed your name trending on the internet. after making the mistake of checking why you were trending once, you'd never really paid much attention to it again. the first time many people were shaming you for dating your boyfriend and making jabs at your physical appearance. rather quickly you realized it would be better to just keep up with silly memes your friends sent to you opposed to stalking every corner of the internet to see what people were saying about you.
this specific instance was charles in an interview and he'd mentioned you briefly while playing a game of this or that:
"do you prefer a weekend getaway to the coast for a snorkeling trip or the mountains for a skiing adventure?" the interviewer quizzed charles on his current vacation preferences. the driver asked, "is this by myself or with people?" the interviewer answered with a small smirk, "you and one other person- can be anyone, best friend, sibling, girlfriend, mom, etc." charles let out a laugh and knew what the interviewer was getting at and chose to went along with it for fan service. he thought for a moment then answered, "i think the snorkeling trip, my girlfriend likes this kind of thing with the fish, sea animals, and the diving in the water. that and she is better of a skier and snowboarder than me so..." out of the frame the interviewer laughed and joked, "a little mermaid moment, i love it."
you looked at the video and laughed when you noticed the small hello kitty band aid on his hand. earlier that week he'd gone with you out to the sea and you'd found a small cove to swim around in. somewhere along the way back charles had cut his hand on a rock and you'd put a little band aid on it from the only stash you had, and he had no complaints over the pink cartoon design. he found it cute and whenever he looked at it he was reminded of you.
whoisyn
liked by charles_leclerc, sanrio, and 53, 432 others
whoisyn oh, he look so cute wrapped around my finger 🎀
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username1 SLIDES 5 AND 6-
alex_albon drop the link for the shirt
username2 CHARLES GOT THAT SHIT AWNNNN 😤😤😤
↳ comment pinned by creator
hellokitty we love to see this 🤩
↳ whoisyn omg pls sponsor me 😍
↳ sanrio check DM! ❤️
f1 i'd play mermaids there
↳ whoisyn we did 🤭
↳ landonorris WITHOUT ME? 😞
↳ danielricciardo X 2 💔
↳ georgerussell X 3 😪
↳ whoisyn my bad...next time we'll send a text
username3 oh baby he's down bad
username4 no way in hell she got this man in hello kitty pants after a long day of playing mermaids 💀
↳ username5 just say ur a loser who doesn't know how to have fun
comment has been liked by creator
˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗
the end.
#formula one#formula 1#f1 fanfiction#f1 x black!reader#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#f1 fic#f1 fanfic#formula 1 fanfic#formula 1 fic#f1 x you#f1 x y/n#f1 x female reader#formula 1 x reader#formula 1 imagine#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc x female reader#charles leclerc x you#charles leclerc x black!reader#black reader insert#black reader#charles leclerc fluff#charles leclerc imagine#charles leclerc fanfic
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one order to be served by lewis carl davidson hamilton please!! oaty slice, english muffin, apple turnover and croissant with a side of tea, cider and pina colada 😁😁 reader is working remotely and having an online meeting but lewis is dying to eat her out and just do it while she was in the meeting 🥵💦
irresistible
order up!
hi lovely thanks for the request, i think this may be my longest story yet, i have been dying to write this and get back to writing after being gone so long, i hate promising to post and then not being able to cause of work, sorry for the late reply <3 your requested prompts will be bolded
pairing; husband lewis hamilton x female wife reader
blurb; working from home while trying to hide the fact that your married and pregnant is hard when your husband can't keep is hands to himself, he's just lucky you love him aka lewis eats his wife out while she's on a zoom call
warnings; oral fem!receiving, thigh kisses, belly kisses, semi public sex, body worship, pregnancy kink. [let me know if i missed anything]
tea; semi public sex cider; body worship pina colada; pregnancy oaty slice; "you smell like me" english muffin; "i could die between these legs" apple turnover; "can you keep it down in there" changed to "can you keep it down under there" croissant; "don't you dare"
words; 3.1k
currently playing; hands to myself by selena gomez "can't keep my hands to myself, no matter how hard i'm trying to"
"oh god dammit, boba no!" you scolded your two year old calico who sat on the stool next to your laptop, swatting at the screensaver you had set, picking her up you stepped out of the little home studio you'd made for yourself during the covid days.
"lew!" you called out waiting for an answer but after not getting one, you wandered down the hall and into the living room, as you carried boba into the living room, she squirmed in your arms, clearly displeased at being removed from her new favorite perch, you sighed, scratching behind her ears to relax her "i know, i know the pretty lights are fun, but mommy needs to work."
as you entered the living room, you noticed lewis sprawled out on the couch, completely engrossed in whatever he was watching on his phone. you rolled your eyes fondly, a soft smile decorating your face as you realized why he hadn't answered your call.
"lew..." still no response as his eyes remained trained on his phone "lewis hamilton" you scolded and that caught his attention immediately, looking up at you with soft eyes as he dropped his phone.
"am i in trouble.." he gulped, looking sheepish as he responded.
"not yet," you said, your tone softening as you took in his worried expression. "but you will be if you don't start paying attention."
you merely dropped boba onto his lap and crossed your arms over your chest "please keep her out of my studio... the album is due at the end of the month and i still have three songs to finish" you groaned.
he nodded numbly which made you feel guilty for scolding him over something so silly and so you lent down and placed little kisses against his lips "i'm sorry i called you lewis" you mumbled as your thumb gently traced over his cheek. "you'll always be my lew"
you left him on the sofa, shuffling to the kitchen to retrieve a bottle of water from the fridge but before you could move and return to your studio, a pair of arms wrapped around your waist, cradling your pregnant belly lightly.
"you smell like me bub" lewis mumbled into the skin of your neck, which sent shivers zipping up and down your spine.
you leaned back into his embrace, savoring the warmth of his body against yours. a soft smile played on your lips as you placed your hands over his, intertwining your fingers.
"i should hope so," you murmured, turning your head slightly to catch his eye, resting it on his shoulder. "i've been wearing your sweater all day."
he chuckled softly, his breath warm against your hair. "i noticed," he said, his arm tightening around you. "it looks incredible on you."
"well i unfortunately have to take it off soon" you groaned "stupid zoom meeting with my producer"
lewis sighed, running his fingers over your bump, the soft fabric of his over sized sweater rubbing on your skin gently. "can't you just keep it on for the meeting?" he asked, already knowing the answer.
you shook your head, a wry smile playing at the corners of your mouth. "not unless i want to explain to my producer why i'm wearing 'the' lewis hamilton's sweater" you giggled.
lewis chuckled, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "but i'd love to see see his reaction." his voice dropped into a whisper, your producer had always been flirty with you mainly because he thought you were single and lewis hated it.
you playfully swatted his arm, trying to ignore the flutter in your stomach at his proximity and tone of voice. "that's horrible lew"
"i hate the way he flirts with you, your mine" he growled against the skin of your neck, goosebumps rising on your skin. "and this proves it" his finger ran over the cold metal of your wedding band.
"your lucky i love you lew, your so possessive and you and i both know you like keeping this private, i like it being just us" you giggled, removing yourself from his grip, pulling his sweater up and over your head, placing it on the counter.
you stood on your tippy toes to peck his lips "love you, i should go" and with that you made your way back to your studio, almost waddling due to the size of your belly.
as you walked, lewis couldn't help but admire you in your white floral maternity dress, he couldn't stop the butterflies from fluttering in his belly or resist the surge of desire that simmered within him.
lewis had always found you irresistible but now that you were pregnant he could hardly ever keep his hands to himself anymore, working on your newest album was the only break you got from his ever wandering hands.
but unfortunately for you, it seemed that not even that would be enough to stop lewis anymore, he made his way to your home studio, feet padding on the hardwood floors as he went.
you wouldn't have even known that lewis was there, leaning against the door-frame had he not accidentally bumped the door causing the hinges to squeak.
"what are you doing lew" you mumbled, taking your seat in front of your mic, lewis didn't answer your question, he merely wandered over and dropped to his knees in front of you.
his head rested in your lap, hands holding your hips as he placed kisses to your swollen belly, each of them filled with love and a gentleness that only lewis had ever shown you, it was part of the reason you'd fallen for him.
"want to taste you bub" his words were mumbled but you understood him well enough, you shook your head "don't you dare even think about it" you softly scolded, hand cupping his cheek.
but lewis wasn't in the mood to listen, he wanted to taste you and he had to do it now, the desire simmering within him was pushing him to do so, you were beautiful and he just couldn't get enough of you.
his hands trailed up your thighs, his touch feather light and making a pool of desire simmer in your own belly or was that just the baby getting hungry again, most likely the latter you thought as a giggle escaped your soft lips.
"why do i even bother" you murmured as his fingers started pulling at the band of your panties, eager to get them off and thrown into the nearest corner as soon as humanly possible.
you lifted your hips knowing if you didn't that lewis would simply rip them off you and you couldn't afford to be down yet another pair of panties all because your husband couldn't keep his hands to himself.
you watched as his head disappeared under the skirts of your dress, hands gently parting your thighs to get a better look at your dripping cunt, the way this man could affect you so easily.
he nuzzled against the soft skin of your thigh, you started to get lost in the feeling when the facetime ringtone rang out through the room causing you to jump in your seat, you were so distracted by your god of a husband that you'd basically forgotten you were meant to be facetiming your producer.
"can you keep it down under there" you asked lewis and when he hummed against your skin, you trusted him, bad choice might i say and adjusted your laptop so that both lewis and your belly were out of view before clicking 'accept call'.
"there's the star i know and love" your producer; thomas's voice rang out, you glanced at the screen and smiled as best you could, with lewis currently between your legs, the last thing you wanted to be doing right now was talking to thomas.
"hey tom" you mumbled, voice quiet in order to keep yourself from moaning as lewis kissed at your thighs, slowly inching his way towards your dripping wet cunt with every kiss.
thomas began to ramble about the new album and the last three songs that were needed and while you tried your best to listen, your focus was quickly pulled away from the computer screen and was put into staying quiet when lewis's tongue licked your cunt from bottom to top, nibbling on your clit which he knew would make you squirm.
you nibbled on your bottom lip, struggling to keep your composure as lewis worked his magic between your thighs. you could have sworn you could taste the metallic tang of blood from how hard you were gnawing on your bottom lip in that moment.
thomas's voice began to fade into a distant buzz in your ears. your fingers gripped at the arms of your chair, knuckles turning white as you fought the urge to moan.
lewis's hands gripped your hips firmly, holding you in place as he continued his relentless assault on your senses. the thrill of potentially being caught only heightened your arousal. you could feel yourself getting wetter by the second, your body betraying your attempts to appear normal.
"taste so good" you heard lewis's mumbled voice and if you weren't so focused on trying to remain quiet and not draw attention to what was really going on, on your side of the screen you would've smacked him round the head.
thomas's face on the screen remained oblivious, still chattering away about chord progressions and potential guest artists. "what about olivia, we've been wanting to work together for awhile" you suggested when you managed to calm yourself enough to speak, your suggestion set thomas off on another tangent.
'good' you thought, that should hopefully keep him distracted for a while but you were once again pulled from your thoughts when lewis's tongue swirled around your most sensitive spots, making your thighs tremble around his head.
you were struggling to maintain your composure as lewis continued his ministrations. thomas's voice once again fading into a distant buzz as pleasure coursed through your body.
"that's actually a great idea," you managed to catch thomas say. "maybe we could arrange a writing session next week?" he suggested to which you merely nodded in return.
lewis's hands tightened on your thighs, pulling you closer to the edge of your chair, the new angle sent a jolt of electricity up your spine, and you had to disguise the gasp that escaped you as a cough.
"everything okay?" thomas asked, his brow furrowing with concern, he was always concerned when it came to you, sometimes a little too much for lewis's liking.
"peachy" you squeaked, perhaps a bit too enthusiastically. "just recovering from a bit of a dry throat" you lied, reaching for your water bottle to make it seem real.
lewis's hands tightened on your thighs, he was going to leave bruises that was for sure but knowing your husband as well as you did, he would also make sure to kiss them better because he hated hurting you, even when you insisted you were fine.
you knew you were completely fucked however the moment you felt lewis's tongue slip inside your cunt, desperate to taste every bit of you that he could.
your breath caught in your throat as lewis's tongue explored you hungrily. every flick and swirl sending shock waves of pleasure radiating through your body, your hips began to involuntarily move against his face the best they could with your rounded swollen belly in the way, thank god it was still hidden from the cameras view.
"oh god, bub" you moaned softly, your head thrown back in ecstasy.
he growled quietly in response, the vibrations only intensifying the sensations you were currently feeling. lewis's strong hands gripped your thighs, holding you open as he devoured you with single-minded focus, you were his top priority in this moment and his focus would remain entirely on you, until you tipped over the edge of your release.
wave after wave of bliss washed over you as lewis worked you expertly with his mouth, you could feel yourself getting close, teetering on the edge of release, just a little more...
"ah y/n, you still with me" holy fuck!, you'd completely forgotten about your producer currently working on a melody on his side of the computer screen, thomas was the most oblivius man you'd ever known and today it was working in your favor.
the fact that he somehow hadn't noticed what was going on almost made you laugh, you bit your lip hard to stop yet another soft moan from slipping past your lips and despite everything that was happening, you somehow managed to croak out a reply to thomas.
"y-yeah, just concentrating," you stammered, struggling to keep your voice steady, thomas nodded absentmindedly, completely focused on the track he was currently mixing. "what do you think of this bassline?" he asked, pressing play.
a pulsing beat filled the room, providing the perfect cover as lewis picked up his efforts, he wanted thomas to know what was going on but you were not about to let that happen, not on your watch.
"it's good," you gasped out "maybe try... ah speeding it up a bit?"
as thomas began to fiddle with the tempo, you felt yourself rapidly approaching the point of no return, lewis's skilled tongue was soon joined by his equally skilled fingers slipping inside your tight hot cunt as his mouth started to suck and nibble on your clit.
all the emotions and sensations that you were feeling was making your head dizzy, you wanted to end the call with thomas right then and there so that you could focus on lewis and lewis alone but you knew that, that wasn't about to happen unfortunately.
as lewis's movements intensified, you were struggling to maintain your composure, your breath quickened as you fingers tangled in the fabric of your dress skirt and hiked it up and around your hips.
as you did lewis looked up at you with mischievous eyes, clearly enjoying the effect he was having on you, his fingers curled inside you, finding that pleasurable spongy spot inside you as his tongue flicked rapidly over your sensitive bud, you swore you could feel lewis smile agaisnt you.
"is everything alright?" thomas asked, finally beginning to notice how quiet you were being on this call compared to all the other video calls you'd shared over these past few months.
"ah.. actually no" you stammered out. "i think i might be coming down with something" you lied to thomas for a second time today.
lewis increased his pace, determined to push you over the edge, you weren't sure how much longer you were going to be able to hold on.
your breath hitched as you tried to maintain your composure, thomas's concerned voice crackled through the phone, "do you need to rest? we can talk later if you're not feeling well."
"n-no, it's okay," you managed to mutter, lewis's fingers dug into your thighs, his tongue and finger's relentless rhythm threatening to unravel you completely.
"are you sure?" thomas pressed, clearly unconvinced. "you sound... strange." panic fluttered in your chest. you couldn't let him suspect what was really happening. "i'm fine, really," you insisted, your voice strained. "just a bit of a headache." you reached for your water once more.
lewis pulled away from your cunt, his fingers slipping out of your warm cunt as well, his breath was hot against the skin of your thighs as he whispered, "tell him you have to go” oh how you prayed thomas hadn't heard that.
you felt a shiver run down your spine at lewis's command. your mind raced, torn between the overwhelming sensations that your husband was making you feel and the need to stay on the video call with thomas and finish the album.
"actually," you gasped out, "i think i might need to lie down for a bit." you had caved, mind you with a husband like lewis, who wouldn't cave when asked.
"of course," thomas replied, his voice laced with genuine concern for you "get some rest. we can catch up tomorrow."
"thanks," you whispered, your finger moved the cursor so it was hovering over the end call button. "i'll text you later." as soon as the call disconnected, a low moan escaped your lips.
lewis looked up at you again "good girl," he murmured, his voice husky with desire for you, his beautiful wife. "now, let me hear you properly."
you finally allowed you restraint crumble and you cried out, no longer having to hide the pleasure coursing through your body. "your a fucking menace lew" you scolded your husband as he went back to work, tongue flicking across your clit with renewed fervor.
lewis chuckled against your sensitive core, the vibrations sending shock waves of pleasure through you once more, his strong hands which you loved oh so much gripped at your thighs, holding you in place as you writhed in your seat.
"you love it," he murmured "no i love you" you replied, fingers tangling in with his twisted braids "my handsome handsome husband"
"don't you dare stop," you gasped, your voice hoarse with need, lewis redoubled his efforts, alternating between gentle licks and firm pressure, he slid two fingers inside you, curling them just so and that's when you saw stars, your back arched as waves of ecstasy washed over you
"that's it, baby," lewis encouraged, your body trembled as he guided you through the aftershocks of your orgasm, his touch now feather-light and teasing, when your breathing finally steadied, he kissed a trail up your body paying special attention to your bump before capturing your lips in a searing kiss, you swore you could taste yourself on his tongue.
"you're so beautiful when you come undone," he murmured pulling away his voice low and husky, his hands rubbed at your thighs soothingly "i could die between these legs" he chuckled.
"i am so going to write a song about this" you teased with a giggle, hand cupping his cheek as you stared into the brown eyes you loved so much, that could be a pretty could be an interesting way to announce your relationship you thought.
he leaned into your touch, a soft smile playing on his lips. "oh yeah? what's it gonna be called?" he asked, his fingers tracing lazy patterns on your skin.
"hmm," you pondered, pretending to think hard. "how about 'the ballad of lewis's talented tongue'?" you joked.
lewis could help but burst out in laughter, burying his face in your neck, "cheeky," he mumbled against your skin, pressing a soft kiss there. "i like it though but i might have to fight you for the rights to it."
you ran your thumb across his cheek, reveling in the intimacy of the moment. "we could always collaborate," you suggested, your voice softening. "i think we would make beautiful music together."
lewis lifted his head, meeting your gaze with a tender look that made your heart skip. "we already do, love,"
#formula one#formula 1#formula one fanfiction#lewis hamilton smut#lewis hamilton x reader#lewis hamilton fanfic#lewis hamilton x reader smut#lewis hamilton#sir lewis hamilton
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The Alchemy
Lando Norris x fem!reader
Two idiots.
THE 2020 SEASON
WINTER BREAK London, England, 2020
Formula 1 might be on a break, but university isn’t. I’ve been studying non stop and working all my free time to get extra credit so I’d be able to graduate early, right at the end of spring so I’d have the rest of the year more chilled out.
But being a 21 year old college student, living alone at an apartment at a college campus meant trouble, obviously, and that’s how after long hours of studying at the library, instead of being in my bed catching up on some sleep, I was at a frat house party.
The music was blaring and I was nursing my third drink of night, but in all honesty completely tired now that the alcohol had relaxed me.
I was sitting on the couch, watching my friends dance around me. I grab my phone to get some pictures of them when I notice a new notification.
Lando: what are u up to on a Friday night as a college student?
Lando and I have been texting non stop since the end of the 2019 season, our friendship solidified. We even hung out a couple of times in between Christmas and new years. And now he has been bugging me that I’ve been working and studying too much.
Me: I’m at a frat house party
He instantly replied back.
Lando: YOURE WHERE DOING WHAT
Me: I’m at a frat house party
I smirk to myself as I texted back the same question then before.
Lando: no way, you’re messing with me
I open the camera of my phone, scratching my arm out as I smile hazily before snapping a picture and sending it to him.
Lando: OMG ARE U DRUNK????
Me: yessss
I expected him to make fun of me, but his answer caught me a bit of guard.
Lando: are u alone?
Lando: who’s with u?
Me: my friends are around here somewhere
There a few minutes of silence from his since and I wonder if our conversation is over. He probably fell asleep.
My phone buzzes again.
Lando: how are u going home?
Me: I’ll walk back to my apartment, why?
He’s typing and typing and typing. I bite my lip anxiously, wondering what he’s going to say. Is he going to ask me to let him pick me up? Like in those romance books where the guy picks up the girl from a party when she’s drunk?
Lando: ok
My face falls momentarily.
Lando: I’m not in London
Lando: be careful and text me when you get home safe
I smile, so he was considering picking me up.
Melbourne, Australia, 2020
The world was insane, and I was going insane with it. I was higenyzing my hand every time I touched something. I was in an alert state of the coronavirus.
“They should have canceled the race.” I say, taking a seat with Lando, Carlos and Caco at the McLaren hospitality. “They are saying there are employees who got infected.”
I squeeze hand sanitizer on my hand, rubbing it.
“You’re talking about as if it’s some kind of zombie apocalypse.” Lando chuckles, draping his arm casually over the back of my chair “Relax, they wouldn’t keep up the race if it wasn’t safe.”
Carlos nods “Lando is right.”
I scoff with a tense smile “Oh, but they would. FIA doesn’t care about it, they care about the money. They always have and always will.”
The boys are silent for a moment before Caco nods his head.
“Hamilton and Vettel said something similar during the press conference.” He says “And they’ve been around the same amount of time you have.”
My phone rings and it’s Sophie calling. I quickly brings it to my ear, listening to what she has to say. My frown only deepens when she says two McLaren employees tested positive for covid and that there are more people around the paddock with symptoms as well.
I hang up the phone.
“The teams principals are gathering together to get FIA to cancel the race.” I tell them, watching as both drivers’ faces fall in disappointment “Two McLaren employees tested positive and there are other people around the paddock who are feeling ill as well.”
We gather our things and start to make our way to the McLaren garage, probably the news will get there first if the race is canceled.
I hang back on the group and Lando slows his steps to walk beside me.
“Can’t believe we just got back and we’re already going to leave and be without racing.” He groans, a whine voice a bit high pitched.
“It’s better for it to be canceled and you getting the chance to race again when it’s safer, then getting sick and ending up in the hospital.”
He sighs, shoulders slumping slightly.
“You’re right. I was just excited to give my all at this new season.”
I smile “I know, and you will soon.”
He smiles back at me, nudging me with his shoulder.
“So, are you gonna be able to graduate this spring?”
“I am! I mean, I’ve been doing everything possible for it to happen and I think it will.”
Lando smiles and for a brief moment his fingers brush against mine in a sweet gesture.
“That’s great. I’ll make sure to be there cheering for you at your graduation.”
And my heart flutters at his words.
PANDEMIC London, England, 2020
“Did I do it right? Are you listening to me?” I ask into the microphone I bought.
Lando’s face show up on the screen of my computer, grinning widely.
“Hiiii! Yes, you did. Now turn on your camera so I can see your face.”
“How do I do it?” I ask, completely lost as I had never used the app discord before. “Oh, never mind, found it.”
“Look at you!” Lando beamed “Are those bunny ears on your hoodie?” I chuckle as I put on the hoodie over my head so he can see the bunny ears “You look adorable! Doesn’t she look adorable, chat?”
I tilt my head to the side, confused.
“Chat? What chat? It’s just the two of us here.”
Lando laughed “I’m streaming, muppet.”
“You’re what?!” I screech “Lando! Why didn’t you tell me we’d be live? I’m in my pijamas!”
He laughs again “You still look adorable and the chat agrees with me.”
I huff, flustered at his words and at the fact that I’m live for god knows how many people while I’m wearing my bunny pajamas. If people didn’t take me serious before, they never will now.
“Now, here’s what we’re going to do.” He claps his hand, a mischievous smile on his face “You’re going to play LOL with me.��
“LOL? But I only know how to play the sims.”
“Yes, you’re going to play LOL. I think it’s the easiest for now.”
As I download the game and start to follow the tutorial, all while sharing my screen with Lando and him judging me at how I can manage to keep dying on the tutorial, I wonder how in the holy hell he managed to convince me to play online with him.
Finally, after an eternity, I finish the tutorial and I start to play with him. Lando keeps instructing me because I don’t even know what buttons to press on my keyboard and he keeps screaming that I’m not running fast enough.
“Oh my God!” I scream “I died! I died!”
Lando laughs delighted.
“My screen is black and white! Why is my screen black and white? Is my computer broken? LANDO!”
That only makes him laugh harder, that infectious laugh of him as I keep yelling questions of what I should do next.
My dad opens the door to my bedroom, peeking his head inside, looking concerned as he calls out my name.
“Are you ok, sweetheart?” He asks, walking further into the room “I can hear you screaming from the living room.”
“Yeah, sorry dad. I’m playing online with Lando and I died.”
My father chuckles, bending down slightly to look at my screen. He smiles at Lando while waving.
“Hello, Lando. Have you been taking care of yourself while quarantining?”
Lando smiles back as he nods “Yes, I have. Your daughter also texts me everyday reminding me what I can and can’t do. It’s like she thinks I will die because I’m living on my own.”
My dad looks amused at me, but he knows I’m right and Lando would have probably set his house or fire by now if I haven’t been instructing him properly on certain things.
My dad pats my head as he stands up straight again “I will leave you kids to it. Take care, Lando.”
“Thank you, Jenson! You too!” Lando smiles. “Now, where were we?”
Later that night, after four hours of online gaming with Lando, I lied in bed scrolling through my social medias. I couldn’t help to read the comments people were making about our live stream together.
Jenson Button worried about Lando I CANT
OMG y/n checking up on Lando daily to make sure he survives
So am I the only one who thinks there’s something there?
She can’t suck on her dads fame anymore bc he’s retired so now she’s going after Norris
I sigh, closing Twitter and putting my phone on the bedside table. People are mean.
Spielberg, Austria, 2020
July and we’re back at Formula 1. The season is being cut short, there won’t be fans attending, but we’re back at racing.
I finished my finals a week ago, just in time to go back to traveling. My dad gave an hour-long lecture about safety and health before finally letting me board the plane.
I haven’t seen Lando and Carlos yet, but I have met uncle Seb who is pissed off at Ferrari for firing him over the phone. I could tell for the way he was talking about meetings and stuff he has to do that he’s plotting something and I couldn’t help but smirk at whatever hell fire he will bring down on Mattia Binotto.
I enter the McLaren garage and I smile underneath my mask as I see Lando talking to his engineer. He turns his head when he hears my footsteps.
He basically bonces on his feet until he meets me halfway.
“Hi!” He says loudly “It’s so good to finally see you in person again!” His eyes are wide “Can I hug you? I want to hug you. I know I probably shouldn’t, but I want to. I haven’t touched anyone in months and and…”
I cut him off with a laugh as I wrap my arms around his middle, resting my head on his chest. Lando brings his arms around me, squeezing me onto his body.
“Hi, Lando. I missed your energetic aura.”
I feel his grin against my shoulder, even with half his face covered in a mask.
“I missed you.” He says back.
He detangles himself from he hug, but keep his hands on my shoulders. He analyzes my face.
“You really do look good with bangs.”
I chuckle, running my hands over the bangs I cut on my hair after a moment of reflection and desperation when I couldn’t leave the house.
“Thank you. It was a moment of… insanity, but at least it looks good.”
He laughs “Oh I know. You texted me like fifteen times saying you did something horrible and it was just bangs.”
I shake my head “Hey, to be fair you called me at two in the morning to ask me how to kill a wasp and I had to wake up my dad to ask him.”
Lando's eyes widened in mock sadness.
“Hey, your dad loves me! I’m sure he was very very delighted to be woken up in the middle of the night to give out instructions on how to kill a wasp.”
I snort out a laugh.
Later that weekend, after the race was finished, I watched as Lando parked his car in p3. It was the first podium of his Formula 1 career. He had been screaming on the radio during the last five laps and I was grinning like an idiot behind my mask.
He got out of the car, helmet still on as he ran to the team, letting them hug him and clap his back. The whole McLaren garage was in a frenzy of celebration.
I’m waiting for him by the parc fermé, to guide him to the podium and then to the press conference room where they interview the winner, second and third place of the race.
Lando takes off his helmet and balaclava and I see his whole face for the first time this year. He has a huge smile on his face as he runs to where I am.
“My first podium!” He yells
I smile “Congratulations, Lando. It was beautiful to watch.”
He wraps his arms around me, jumping around and making me jump with him as I laugh.
“My first podium! Oh fuck! I’m gonna get a trophy!”
I giggle, letting him jump around with me “Yes, you are, Lando, you’re getting a trophy!”
He then stop jumping and just gazed into my eyes, the smile never dropping out of his face.
“Fuck, I’m so glad you’re the one here and not Sophie.”
My heart leaps on my chest.
“I’m glad I’m here, too.”
Silverstone, England, 2020
It was the Silverstone Grand Prix weekend, there were going to be two weekends of races here. My dad had decided to come along since this is his home race and he wants to relive some of the memories.
I walk inside the McLaren hospitality with my dad who is babbling about my graduation to one of the mechanics that have been working here since his driving days.
I hear someone yell my name and I know that voice very well. I turn around and there is Lando, no mask on his face, grinning widely.
“Hey.” I smile back, walking to where he’s sitting
He stands up fast and lifts his hands up, holding a beautiful bouquet of pink flowers.
I gasp in surprise.
“I couldn’t go to your graduation because the attendance was limited, but I couldn’t let it pass by.” He hands me the flowers before enveloping me in a hug “Congratulations, love. I’m very proud of you.”
For some reason his words and sweet gestures make tears gather in my eyes. It’s probably because I was expecting my graduation to be a big even, full of people who I love and cherish and that didn’t happen because of the pandemic.
“Thank you, Lan. This means a lot to me.”
He squeezes me before letting me go. He wipes some of the tears that leaked out to my eyes.
“I know this is a special moment and you wanted it to be a big celebration. We’ll go out to celebrate once things get better, alright? My treat.”
I smile, hugging the flowers to my chest.
“You’re the best, Lan.”
He winked at me.
“Only the best for my best girl.”
My dad stood to the side, watching the scene with a smile on his face. I didn’t know that now, but he took pictures of all of that happening.
Krasnodar Krai, Russia, 2020
Carlos broke the news to the team two weeks ago during our weekly zoom calls. Lando had shut himself out the moment his best friend on the grid said he’s leaving McLaren to go to Ferrari.
He hasn’t been answering my texts or sending me TikToks. He even declined my calls and I was growing not only worried, but annoyed as well.
I knock on his hotel door late at night. My flight had landed an hour ago, I got to the hotel, showered and now here I am knocking on his door.
Lando opens the door, his curly hair disheveled and he’s only in sweatpants.
“You’re not room service.” He says
I glare at him.
“You’ve been ignoring me.” I accuse him, hands on my waist.
“I uh… I’ve been busy…” he stretches the back of his neck “a lot of work.”
“We work together, I know you haven’t been busy.” I glare even harder now “Stop lying to me.”
He stepped to the side and let me inside his room. I walk past him, going to the middle of the room as I stand there with my arms crossed. Lando sits on the bed and looks at me.
“What’s going on with you?” I ask
“There’s nothing wrong with me.” He answered too quickly.
“Lando… you’ve been ignoring me ever since Carlos told us that he’s leaving for Ferrari.”
He grows quiet and looks away from me.
I sigh. “Lando, just because he’s switching teams it does not mean he won’t be your friend anymore. It will be a bit different because you won’t be together all the time like the past two years, but he’s not gonna forget about you.”
He nods. “I know. Carlos already told me all that.”
“Then why have you been ignoring me?” I ask confused. I thought he was isolating because he was sad that Carlos is leaving, but if he’s already on good terms with it, than what’s wrong.
“Because I’m preparing myself from when you leave me as well.” Lando says, he doesn’t look at me, his eyes trained on the carpet floor.
“Wha- What?” I ask completely dumbfounded “What do you mean when I leave you as well?”
He runs a hand through his hair “You’re an intern at the communication department and- and you just graduated from uni. I know you will leave me at the end of the year as well. You’ll move on to much bigger and better things. I’m just… trying to soften the blow of being without you.”
There’s a moment of silence as I process his words. He still won’t look at me and I’m too stunned to speak anything. He’s sad because he doesn’t want to be without me.
Finally, I snap out of it.
“Oh Lando.” I whisper softly, kneeling in front of him and peering up at him. “Lando, no.”
He shakes his head “I know, ok? I’m not dumb…”
I cup his face in my hands to get him to stop talking. He looks at me in surprise and I can see the broken look in his eyes.
“I’m not going anywhere.”
“Please, don’t lie to me.” He whispered brokenly “Just rip the bandaid already.”
“I’m not lying.” I say, catching a stray tear from his eye with my thumb and wiping it away. “McLaren hired me to be their junior PR manager. You would have known that if you haven’t been declining my calls, you muppet.”
He widens his eyes.
“You’re not leaving?”
I shake my head “No. You’re stuck with me.”
Lando breaths out a laugh, resting his forehead against mine as he closes his eyes.
“Oh, thank god. I’m not ready to say goodbye.”
I smile, enjoying our close proximity.
“You don’t have to say goodbye. I’m not going anywhere.”
“Good… good.” He mumbled. “I don’t want you to leave my side.”
We stay like that for a few moments longer, before he helps me stand up from the floor. Lando pats the bed and I soon join him. We lay on opposite sides, he covers us up and we stay in silence, enjoining each other's company as we fall asleep. Right now we don’t need to say anything, everything is understood in the comfortable silence that hugs us.
Abu Dhabi, Saudi Arabia, 2020
It was yet once again the last race of the season.
Lando had a great finish in p5, and although he had a happy smile on his face we took team pictures and toasted, I could see he was sad. This was Carlos's last race as Lando’s teammate. And I could see Carlos was a bit sad as well.
The team principals had gathered together and rented out a club in the city so the party would be just the Formula 1 team and drivers. We had been traveling together all year in the middle of the chaos of the pandemic, so we were all kind of in the same boat, if someone was sick, the odds of everyone else also being sick were extremely high.
I watched from a far as Lewis celebrated his seventh championship. I chuckled as he, Valtteri and Toto started a shot competition between the three of them. Sebastian was chanting chug chug chug and waving his hands around.
I feel the familiar presence of Lando standing beside me as he nurses his drink.
“How was your second year as a Formula 1 employee?” He asks me.
I smile against the rim of my glass. Just one year ago he had asked me the same question, at the rooftop of the VIP lounge at the paddock, hours before the last race of the season began.
“It was weird. My last year as an intern, next year I will have to reinvent myself to be on top of my game.”
“You’re already on the top of your game.” He nudges my shoulder with his arm.
“Yeah, but I still haven’t proved myself here.” I point out.
Lando frowns, turning his body around to look at me. I’m leaning against the wall and now he’s looming over me.
“Have you been getting hate online?”
I give him a weak smile.
“Let’s not talk about this right now. Tonight is about celebrating.”
He’s still frowning and opens his mouth to protest when I cut him off.
“How was your second year as Formula 1 driver?”
He chuckles, probably recalling the same memory from last year. He rests his forearm on the wall right beside my head.
“It was good and weird. I got my first podium ever. I also lost my first teammate…” Lando smiles a bit. “And I got you to be here with me one more year.”
I smile, raising my glass.
“Here’s to another year of Norris and Button traveling around the world together.”
Lando grins, clinking his glass against mine.
“Together.” He repeats.
#fanfiction#f1 imagine#f1 smau#f1 social media au#f1 x reader#lando norris#lando norris imagine#lando norris x reader#lando norris x you
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"Seminario cited the recent report, “Employer-Reported Workplace Injuries and Illnesses,” that shows that the number of respiratory illnesses in the private health care and social assistance sector increased from 145,300 in 2021 to 199,700 cases in 2022, an increase of 37.5 percent.
...
As an industrial hygienist, Seminario was extremely critical that there were no experts in respiratory protection on the committee nor did it include engineers who developed ventilation guidelines. She believes that the HICPAC committee members are likely so opposed to respirators “because once you are into recommending respiratory protection, with that comes a full respiratory protection program from OSHA,” with penalties for violations.
An epidemiologist and consultant, Michael Olesen, echoed this, believing the changes reflect “pressure to remove liability from hospitals.” He added, “I take a very clear position that we should be having respiratory protection mandates in all healthcare settings right now.”
...
Many patients who spoke at the HICPAC meetings said they had gotten Covid-19 when they went to the hospital and that the new policies were keeping them from getting care.
Given that, Dr. Art Caplan, professor of medical ethics at New York University’s Grossman School of Medicine, previously told me that dropping masking requirements in hospitals is “utterly, completely, irresponsible.” Similarly, staff refusing to mask, even when a patient requests it, is a moral failure. “The first principle is, you must do what is in the best interest of your patient,” he said.
...
Several people were asked why they believe HICPAC is determined to water down protections. Consistently, respondents say, “to reduce liability.” Earlier in the pandemic, hospitals regularly tested patients and staff for Covid-19, and you could often tell where and how you became infected. Since staff are no longer masking and continue working when ill, and patients are not being tested on admission, you can no longer prove who infected you. Hospitals are the only ones who win in this scenario, absolving themselves of responsibility and liability."
#healthcare system complicity#this is immoral and unethical#cdc#hicpac#wear a mask#keep masks in healthcare#covid#rsv#flu#masks#respirators#n95 masks
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PAC: what should you put on your bucket list for the summer?
hello beautiful people! i am starting my summer 2024 series right now and i am so excited!!!! i wanted to bring something new to everyone so i am creating specialized playlists for each group. they consist of six songs i’ve channeled during your reading. i hope that the group you chose resonates. i also hope that you all book a reading with me! :)
without further ado, please select your pile.
top left-to-bottom right: (1-4)
PILE ONE:
this pile may be newly single or fresh to the dating scene as a whole. you seem introverted, maybe covid messed up your social skills? it’s time to bring some life back into you! i think the main message here is to be more open to exploration.
cards used: the tower, 10 of discs, king of swords, the star, queen of wands, the hanged man, princess of cups.
learn how to swim
flirt with a stranger at a festival/concert
ride as many amusement park rides as you can
go on a picnic date
join some type of organization, or maybe even create one!
be as comfortable in your skin as you can; even go skinny dipping or to a new beach (only if you’re of age though!!)
go to a metaphysical shop
go on a group/double date with your friends
PILE TWO:
i feel like you’re insecure and you’re trying to work on that. this is the best summer to do so. i feel like this pile gets easily embarrassed. spirit wants you to stop that lmao. i take it that you’re someone who’s probably a loner.
cards used: 9 of cups, queen of discs, ace of wands, 3 of cups, 8 of swords, 5 of wands
do as much shadow work as you can
take up a self-defense class/boxing class
jump off the diving board
conquer your fear of heights by bungee jumping or rock climbing
hypnosis therapy
wear your natural hair in different styles each day for a week (maybe longer 🙈)
embrace family traditions
spa day!
have/go to a bonfire
scrapbook!
PILE THREE:
these are my r&b loversss. i feel like you guys have some pipes on you lol. this pile is kind of goofy too. this pile has to be as free as possible. no relationships, no commitments of any kind (minus a job cause y’know the economy rn is 😔). but anyway, the point is to just relax.
cards used: 6 of discs, the devil, the magician, 2 of cups, wheel of fortune, the sun, princess of cups.
go to a skate park
host an event
meet a special someone at the bar
connect with an old friend
adopt a pet
create an alter ego for yourself and show up as that person
do a good deed for someone, pay it forward.
have a dance battle in public
obtain a FWB (be smart & use protection of course 🤫)
post on social media as much as possible
PILE FOUR:
i can tell this is the pile that likes to be organized. you like to have plans made out before the summer. that might not be the case this summer. focus on being a little more free and spontaneous. flexibility is key, babe. get out of freezeeeee mode.
cards used: 3 of cups, the hanged man, 5 of wands, queen of wands, king of swords, the star, knight of cups, ace of discs.
dye your hair red!
pass the bar exam (for those of you who are future lawyers)
receive a tarot reading from an in-person psychic
flirt a little at the grocery store
get dressed up to go to a department store/chain store
have a girls night in with ur girls!
build a fort!
change up your day-to-day makeup routine
record a song with your friends
#law of assumption#manifesting#neville goddard#hoodoo#tarotreading#tarot#astro notes#pick a card#pick a pile#divination#tarot tumblr#metaphysical#channeled reading#pick a reading#pick an image#tarot pick a card#tarot community#tarot witch#pac reading#tarot pac#occult#tarot pull#daily tarot#tarot reading#tarot deck#tarot cards#tarotcommunity#free tarot#tarotblr#kpop tarot
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{ MASTERPOST } Everything You Need to Know about Self-Care
Take care of your body
Why You Should Take a Break: The Importance of Rest and Relaxation
I Think I Need to Go the Emergency Room?
Run With Me if You Want to Save: How Exercising Will Save You Money
Your Yearly Free Medical Care Checklist
Ask the Bitches: Ugh, How Do I Build the Habit of Taking Meds?
Blood Money: Menstrual Products for Surviving Your Period While Poor
On Pulling Weeds and Fighting Back: How (and Why) to Protect Abortion Rights
Ask the Bitches: How Can I Survive in an Apartment with No Heat?
The Expensive Difference Between Recreation and Recovery
Take care of your mind
Our Master List of 100% Free Mental Health Self-Care Tactics
How Mental Health Affects Your Finances
Ask the Bitches: “How Do I Protect My Own Mental Health While Still Helping Others?”
Kurt Vonnegut’s Galapagos and Your Big Brain
Everything Is Stressful and I’m Dying: How to Survive a Panic Attack
Stop Recommending Therapy Like It’s a Magic Bean That’ll Grow Me a Beanstalk to Neurotypicaltown
Making Decisions Under Stress: The Siren Song of Chocolate Cake
Ask the Bitches: I Know How to Struggle and Fight, but I Don’t Know How to Succeed
Update: I Know How to Struggle and Fight, but I Don’t Know How to Succeed
Ask the Bitches: How Can I Absolve Myself of Financial Guilt Over My Pricey PS4?
The Frugal Introvert’s Guide to the Weekend
Take care of your time
Stop Measuring Your Time in Beyoncé Hours
Help! I’m Procrastinating and I Can’t Get Up!
You Won’t Regret Your Frugal 20s
Actually, Fuck Big Goals
How to Insulate Yourself From Advertisements
I’ve Succeeded at Every New Year’s Resolution I’ve Ever Made. Here’s How.
Romanticizing the Side Hustle: When 1 Job Isn’t Enough
8 Free Time Management Systems To Try in the New Year
My 25 Secrets to Successfully Working from Home with ADHD
I Am So Over Productivity Porn
Take care of your career
High School Students Have No Way of Knowing What Career to Choose. Why Do We Make Them Do It Anyway?
The Actually Helpful, Nuanced, Non-Bullshit Way to Choose a Future Career
Woke at Work: How to Inject Your Values into Your Boring, Lame-Ass Job
Are You Working on the Next Fyre Festival?: Identifying a Toxic Workplace
My Secret Weapon for Preparing for Awkward Boss Confrontations
Freelancer, Protect Thyself… With a Fair Contract
I Hate My Job and I Don’t Know How To Leave It: A Confession
A New Job, a New Day, a New Life, and I’m Feeling Good
Season 1, Episode 9: “I’ve Given up on My Dream Career. Where Do I Go From Here?”
How Abusive Workplaces Mirror Abusive Relationships
Take care of your space
How to Successfully Work from Home Without Losing Your Goddamn Mind (Or Your Job)
Leaving Home before 18: A Practical Guide for Cast-Offs, Runaways, and Everybody in Between
Ask the Bitches: I Want to Move Out, but I Can’t Afford It. How Bad Would It Be to Take out Student Loans to Cover It?
How To Maintain Your Car When You’re Barely Driving It
Take care of your people
How Dafuq Do Couples Share Their Money?
Ask the Bitches: “How Do I Protect My Own Mental Health While Still Helping Others?”
How Can I Tame My Family’s Crazy Gift-Giving Expectations?
Ask the Bitches: I Was Guilted Into Caring for a Sick, Abusive Parent. Now What?
Love in the Time of Coronavirus: How to Protect Your Community and Your Soul from COVID-19
Be Somebody’s Eliza with a Simple Yet Life-Changing Act of Kindness
The Ultimate Guide to Helping a Sick Friend
Learning To Reverse the Golden Rule
I Have Become the Rich Relative I Always Wanted
Take care of your financial well-being
Ask the Bitches: How Can I Make Myself Financially Secure Before Age 30?
How to Save for Retirement When You Make Less Than $30,000 a Year
Ask the Bitches: Is It Too Late to Get My Financial Shit Together?
Slay Your Financial Vampires
Should Artists Ever Work for Free?
Don’t Spend Money on Shit You Don’t Like, Fool
How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Financial Math
Share My Horror at the World’s Worst Debt Visualization
Stop Undervaluing Your Freelance Work, You Darling Fool
A (Somewhat) Comprehensive List of Fun Job Perks that Won’t Pay Your Rent
We will periodically update this list with newer articles. And by “periodically” I mean “when we remember that it’s something we forgot to do for four months.”
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Below are excerpts from the article:
Steven E. Snow, the emeritus general authority and former historian for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, is a bit of an outlier...the St. George native remains a staunch Democrat and a passionate environmentalist.
As the faith’s historian from 2012 to 2019, Snow is widely credited with helping bring openness and transparency to the church history department. He helped shepherd to completion the Gospel Topics essays, which tackled some of the thorniest of the faith’s historical and doctrinal issues.
Snow’s other signature achievements include overseeing the publication of the landmark Joseph Smith Papers and “Saints,” the new multivolume narrative history of the church. With Snow at the helm, the history department also took over supervision of church historical sites, where he placed a premium on education over proselytizing.
His beloved wife of 52 years, Phyllis, died from post-COVID-related issues eight months ago.
I didn’t always see eye to eye with all the brethren on environmental and political issues, but I can appreciate that. I tried to listen and be respectful of their points of view and understand them. I appreciate where they are coming from.
What did you think about the now-abandoned policy of not allowing the children of same-sex parents to be baptized?
I was surprised by the policy and was quite delighted when it was reversed. … I thought it was unnecessary, and I think it caused unnecessary hurt during the time it was in place. I was pleased to see President Russell M. Nelson revoke it.
How do you feel about the way the church addresses LGBTQ issues?
The church is trying. I’ve been really pleased with President Dallin Oaks’ and others’ efforts to try to find common ground. That’s why this recent action they took with regard to [transgender individuals in] the [General] Handbook seemed a little off, based on what they have been trying to do.
It’s a very difficult place for them to be. President Oaks continues to talk about gays in his General Conference talks. It’s as if he wants to draw a bright line that this is the way it is and there is not going to be a relaxing of that policy. It seems to me, that is what he’s trying [to articulate].
I have two gay granddaughters who have left the church. It causes me great sadness that we don’t have a place for everyone. They feel like there is nothing there for them.
How does environmentalism inform your faith?
We are given this beautiful planet upon which to live. As simple as I can state it, we should take care of it. We ought to make it a better place than when we came. We have to leave it in better shape, and we’re not doing that.
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to live, to learn, and to love - d.ricciardo
masterlist
pairings: Daniel ricciardo x athlete!reader
warnings: time jump + talks of Covid + some depression talks + some inaccuracies of Daniels career
a/n: hope this cheers everyone up xx
2018 - to live
“so what do you guys have planned this summer?” you ask. the tiny microphone clipped to your shirt is finally off for good. for the first time in a year, cameras would no longer follow your ever move, microphones would no longer hover of your head, you could go back to a normal life of training and relaxing. freedom at last.
“we are actually filming a new docuseries, ever heard of formula one?”
you shake your head, puzzle look on your face creates a little laughter from everyone’s lips as they agreed to never hearing about it until Daniel. whoever Daniel was, he seemed to be quite popular to the crew.
“I guess I haven’t, but hey I’m all about growing sports.”
“well you wouldn’t believe where we get to go next weekend— you should come! it’ll be so much fun.”
the film crew talks of Monaco and the infamous track that they’ve learned can be brutal but kind. their invitation lingers around the room for a couple more minutes as crew begins to clean up the scene.
“so? you coming or what?”
“when’s the plane leave?”
—
Monaco roars with noise you’ve never heard. so much so, the noise canceling headphones can’t even drown out the cheers for the drivers. you spend all mid-afternoon shaking hands and learning names of the drivers you’re sure you’ll forget by the night. but Daniel sticks out.
you knew right away who he was. by the laughter and his smile, he had a way with the crew that nobody on your team had. the smile on all the crew members for not only Netflix, but his own team were contagious. he had you smiling within minutes.
“congratulations on your season and Netflix series! I’ve got it downloaded for the plane ride.” he engulfs you into a tight hug for a brief second before showing you his car. the mighty Red Bull car, sleek in its red and blue stripes under the Monaco sun, his pride is contagious, you can’t help but grow confidence in his racing skills.
“how’s Monaco treating you?” you look up at him, his tan skin kissed by the sun and genetics, his beautiful brown curls make your fingers itch to run through them. it’s not only his smile that makes your stomach twirl, it’s all of him.
“just about alright, I’ve got a good spot on the grid and I’m ready to kick ass.” he claps his hands mischievously making a laugh escape your body.
“you’ll do great! I believe in you!”
you like to think your words of encouragement solidified his win in Monaco, but that would be a selfish reason. you’d like to hate Monaco for all the reasons why you left completely enamored by Daniel ricciardo.
2020 - to learn
boredom struck. your legs, mind, and rest of your body itch to train while you’re copped up in your parents house; a tragedy as nobody else lives here. you sit alone in the basement that once had become your personal gym, but now only has a treadmill that you’ve become bored of.
you huff out a sigh, looking around the room there’s not one object heavy enough for you to lift. you curse your parents for taking all the things you needed to their stupid summer home, and you curse them for not wanting to spend time with you.
loneliness was at an all time high. you’d become so exhausted of it, that talking to yourself became the only answer. it was the only thing you had left.
you moved from the big city where all your teammates stayed put. you didn’t bother to look back once restrictions were set in place, you needed to be somewhere sane, but rather that was the opposite. you were going insane.
an alert on your phone pulls you away from the five pound weights in your hand. you look down on the floor to see an Instagram notification which was awfully unusual.
danielricciardo: if I show up on a horse in Austin, would that get me laid?
yourusername: depends. who are you trying to get with?
you can’t help but laugh. you hadn’t heard from him in four years. you’d occasional check his instagram, see what he was doing, and even become friends on LinkedIn, but the boredom must’ve been at an all time high for him to message you.
danielricciardo: you.
—
“I’d kiss the chef.” he says almost immediately once your face comes up on the screen. the apron you’re wearing was to prevent spilling or messes to your clothes, it was definitely not an attractive sight. but to Daniel it was.
“you can kiss me right here.” you point to your ass, hearing his laugh erupt on the other side of the screen. it was morning time in Perth, and by morning, you meant way to fucking early in the morning for anyone but him to be awake.
“what are you making?”
“none of your business.”
“well it’s my business when you call me.” he says watching you prop up the cook book that lay beside your phone. you point to the page that had flour, sugar, and all other ingredients across the page.
“ah a birthday cake, and who’s this for?”
“my neighbor. he turns ninety tomorrow so it’s a big deal! it has to be good!”
“and you need my help why?” he reminds you of why you called. you stick out your tongue and your middle finger earning a laugh. you want more of that laughter, you’d do anything to hear it in person again.
“because what do men like? I need to get him a gift.”
“y/n, I’m thirty. I’m not even close to ninety are you insinuating I’m old?”
a blush creeps into your cheeks that’s noticeable on the screen, “I’m kidding! I get why you called, you don’t have to close off.”
in the minimal amount of time knowing Daniel, he calls you out on all of your shit. like how he knows you missed garbage day based off the way your bathroom looks, or how he judges you for not taking the chance to run faster. he’s far worse than personal trainer, but you’d keep him around for his honesty and his kindness.
“I have to go to the store early tomorrow, so what do you think he’d like?”
“you didn’t buy toilet paper again?”
“people don’t listen to the two per person rule! I swear!”
he tsks you so much you can’t even put in a single word. your nervous laughter fills his ears and warms his chest. why did you have to live thousands of miles away? he’s praying they find a cure for Covid fast, he doesn’t think he can live another second without you.
2021 - to learn
a new year, a new set of restrictions, oh and you.
you, in the silly 2021 plastic glasses, sit on the couch in the mixed of his friends and family in his Monaco home. he couldn’t believe the sight, it was a winter miracle you’d made it out alive of the winter storm to his side.
after months of talking, you’d considered yourselves dating. it was different—with not being physically intimate or even having real dates—but the attraction and energy that flowed through you two was undeniable. you couldn’t stay friends, not after every phone call, text message, and filthy instagram dm, Daniel ricciardo wove his way right into your heart.
“what’s your wish for new years?”
“wish? isn’t it a resolution?” you give him a pointed look watching his hands fly up in defense, “we do things differently here. we don’t set goals, we set wishes. so what do you wish for?”
you think long and hard for a moment staring at the man in front of you. his brown eyes full of life and beauty stare into yours. his family and friends wait patiently as you think to yourself.
“I wish for love.”
he scoffs in response almost instantly. he couldn’t help it, to wish for love felt stupid, but Daniels hand clasping against yours makes your heart flutter and skin warm to his touch, “well your wish came true, because I’m here to show you just how much I love you.”
2022 - to love
pregnant.
it’s no wonder doing mundane activities were killing you, and getting up any time before 6am was a threat to your immune system. little did you know it didn’t matter when you woke up, you’d still be pregnant and with a heavy case of morning sickness.
and while 2022 is looking awful to different from the past two years of your relationship, Daniel was changing. you’d noticed how physically unfit he was for training, and it wasn’t because he lost his touch, he looked more sick than you did.
the smile that once reached his eyes and infected a dozen or more individuals, was fading. the light in his eyes barely shined anymore, and while he should be happy his girlfriend is pregnant, the glow on his face doesn’t reflect his words.
you’d talked with zak, asked him how Daniel had been doing and to monitor his health, but little did you know the same man you trusted was the reason for his depression.
“Danny,” you whisper slightly hoping to god he doesn’t answer, but he hardly sleeps anymore.
your touch sinks his body further into the mattress. you mold your body and growing belly against him, fingers drawing all sorts of relaxing shapes, “I love you,” you whisper trying to your best to hold in the sob desperately trying to escape, “but I hate how sad you are. I miss you, I miss us.”
your sudden words ache his heart. he hears your pain, it makes him lift his hand and clasp his hand on top of yours allowing your silent sob to increase in volume, “what’s happening to you, it’s not right.“
“I know,” he whispers back. his words hang in the room for a little longer before he turns to face you, his fingers quickly wipe your tears, “I’m going to get better. for you, for us, and for her. okay?”
“okay.”
—
“can you keep a secret?”
“depends,” lando responds turning on his heel, his adorable smile turning his lips upward, “what’s my reward?”
“a kiss on the cheek?”
he nods in approval, “kiss first, secret later.” he taps his cheek, watching you roll your eyes before you quickly press your lips to his skin and pull away.
“I’m pregnant.”
“old news, what else?” he shrugs it off.
“Daniels leaving.”
“what?” you watch lando’s shoulders fall as he collapses into the chair below him, “please tell me it’s because of the baby and not anything else?”
your hesitation earns a permanent frown on his lips, “I thought I could save him.” he lets out a deep sigh allowing you wrap him into your arms, “I think it’s what’s best.”
“I agree, but you’ll still have cool uncle rights.”
“yes! oh, that’s the best news ever! I have to tell max!”
Daniels foot steps echo throughout the hallway of the private room you were in with lando. not another soul is in the McLaren hospitality, as everyone had seemed to vanish once practice rounds were over, but you’d stayed waiting despite longing for a warm shower and Daniels hands against your belly. god, how much more love sick could you be? it was evident Daniel didn’t feel much of the same right now, and you tried your best to put on a big smile and positive attitude.
“there he is.” you move over to him, wrapping your arms around his neck pulling him downward so you can press a kiss to his lips.
“I have to stay a little later.” he mumbles before pressing another kiss to your lips, “why don’t you head back with lando?”
“but I want to stay.” you frown pulling away from his body. it gives you a chance to look him in the eyes, the dark circles are much more evident, the glimmer of hope and love have seemed to vanish his eyes replaced with sadness. why did this have to happen to him? it’s just not right, you think to yourself.
“will you at least eat dinner with me?”
he shakes his head, “I really have to get back to the car.” he pushes a strand of your hair behind your shoulder, “why don’t you order room service? it’s on me, get whatever you’re craving.”
“I’m craving you, but you’re making yourself unavailable—again, might I add.”
his eyes close for a brief moment. his fingers play with the hem of his bright orange shirt, you can feel the anxiety radiating off of him. it terrifies you what’s next. “y/n, they are terminating my contract. can you just go home with lando?”
the grit of his words are like nails on a chalkboard. you swear you could feel yourself becoming lightheaded you don’t even realize lando was the one to catch you from falling backward. terminate? they were done with him? you feel a sob take over your body, it takes ten minutes for lando to calm you down, as Daniel was nowhere to be seen.
the car ride to the hotel was silent. with lando taping away on his phone, and you staring out the window in a daze there was nothing that could pull you away. well, maybe there was.
danielricciardo: if I do ridiculous side burns would you still sleep with me?
a snort escapes your lips. he knows how to turn a bad day into a good one.
yourusername: depends. how ridiculous are they?
danielricciardo: so ridiculous you might wish I didn’t get you pregnant.
yourusername: now I would never wish on that. we love you Danny.
love. it’s a strange feeling that’s settling into his chest right now as he stares at zak brown, the man he’d been warned about years ago, but he never listened. now hearing it from you, he knew love conquered all of his fears and anxiety about leaving. because in the end, your love made him feel whole again.
to live, to learn, and to love.
[BONUS SCENE]
2023 - living, learning, and loving
“oh my, you’re so big now! what are they feeding you?” lando’s gasp earns a ripple of head turns. he’s rushing his way over to you and your new born daughter, mila.
“whatever it is, it’s clearly working on you too. what’s this you’ve got going on? is it a beard?” you carefully run your fingers over the hair on his chin making him pull away, a blush creeping onto his cheeks, “fine I’ll shave it.”
“take it from me, the minute I got home from Austin I wasn’t allowed in the bed until I shaved it all off.” Daniel rubs his fingers over the stubby hairs against his cheeks, “some women don’t like that down there—“
“Daniel!” you hiss, hands placed against his chest you give him a hard shove.
the roar of his laughter echoes throughout the paddock. it brings a flock of his friends and former colleagues together surrounding you both and your daughter, mila.
she was a happy blessing out of a horrible year. her arrival was earlier than expected, but seeing Daniels smile finally reach his eyes, it was like she knew he needed that.
“I can’t decide what’s cuter, her curls or her rolls. how do you sleep at night with such a difficult question?” Charles looks between you two and watches the devilish smirk lift upon Daniels lips, “actually don’t answer that, I see where your mind is taking you.”
“it’s good to have you back.” the Ferrari driver smiles. before he walks away he says one more thing to brighten your days, “and I mean that. it’s good to have the you we all love back.”
you lived, you learned, and you’re still loving.
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