#new chap...eventually?
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wafflesandkruge · 2 years ago
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hello lrpd fans!!! (if yall are still around lmao)
not a new chap, but @/barodeus on ao3 has written a lovely (au-canon compliant?) little drabble for lrpd featuring a sick nikolai and zoya reluctantly taking care of him 😌 go read it!!
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timingmatters · 1 year ago
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Re-reading tales from the shadowhunter academy and oh my god mark and Kieran!!! But most importantly!! Kieran!!!! My little baby boy i love him so much!!!!!
Like if i could rate all characters i think it would be (and this is a v unpopular ranking i think btw):
1- all the malec family. Including the kids. They all take the first spot.
2- KIERAN MY BABY
3- Jace and Isabelle
4- lily (i just love her shes so fun!! And yet so complex, full of longing and tragedy and yet so much live and fire and a will of iron. So brave. So gay. My beautiful girl).
5- cristina my wild baby
6- mark! (He would be so much more up if i didnt get a little annoyed every time i think on how he manipulated kieran with his love while simultaneously persuing cristina as if kieran didn’t matter. Ik he made up for it, and i adore him, but i will always be a little annoyed at him).
7- emma and julian!!!!!!!!!!!
8- clary and simon!!! (I swear i do love them, they just tend to annoy me more than the rest lmaoo)
9- the other blackthorn kids!!! Altho i feel like once the last series is out Dru and Ty (and ash + kit) will all go up in the rankings tbh.
Everyone else regardless of how i love them doesn’t really call to me. Like these are all characters i would read books based on. Everyone else i wouldn’t read a story solemnly on them so no spot number 10. Maybe Helen and Aline take spot number 10 because i could read a story about them???? But I’m genuinely not too sure i would. I tend to like really angsty characters trying their best and i just feel like Helen and Aline tend to be written as very stable people shhdhn so i’m not too sure i would jump to read a story about them immediately as is out, but i would 100% read it with time.
I might as well also rank my fave ships tho:
1- malec (obviously)
2- KIERARKTINA MY LOVES EVERY DAY I PRAY FOR THEIR HAPPY ENDING
3- Sizzy tbh altho half their written time has been spent with me vocally threatening simon (me talking to the books) whenever he hurts izzy bc thats my baby angel girl
4- jace and clary!!
5- emma and julian!!!!!!! They could honestly go up jace and clary, is just that jace and clary have nostalgia on their side
6- Helen and Aline!!!!!!!
7- Jem and Tessa. I do waver sometimes because (VERY UNPOPULAR OPINION!!!) i didnt like the love triangle with will!!! Those books fill me with anxiety more than enjoyment lmao. I do prefer jem and tessa. I like the peaceful love they have so much more. I like the idea that the one you love gives you serenity and peace over the PASSION!!! ANGST!!! Tropes. BUT I understand the love triangle is complicated, that she loves them both equally but differently (or thats what Cassandra tries to write at the very least, didnt feel like that because she disregarded Jem’s pov but whATEVER). Nonetheless i do really love the jem and tessa dynamic. A love that waited thousands of years but never weakened or hesitated.
Again, i have the suspicion ty and kit will go up a lot in rankings once the books about them are out. I also have my eye on Dru and Jaime, but with the age difference i put a stop. I know the books coming up will have a time skip and Dru will be like 18 or close to it, but i hear people say her love interest might be ash and the idea of that actually calls my attention so much???? So they could potentially go up too. Although mostly I’m excited to see how the time skip changed the kierarktina dynamics (Hopefully they still see each other like montly at the cabin and are very domestic by now. Hopefully someone has given kieran a cat by the time skip). And how the time skip and made the lightwood-bane family grow🥹 (the kids hopefully will have more scenes on their own and with malec).
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dr-lizortecho · 2 years ago
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#save a horse ride a cowgirl
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madamechrissy · 9 days ago
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Would you come with me?
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Pairings: Satoru Gojo x F! reader
Summary: You have been Satoru's best friend for such a long time, and one day he asks you a really big favor- marry him. What!?!? Well, Satoru has to take a wife as he's running the Gojo corporation, and what better way to get them off his back than 'marry'? In name only, just best friends living together for a year to calm them down, sounds so perfect and uncomplicated, right!!! Well, living with Satoru Gojo makes you both question everything, is this fake marriage feeling... real? and can you just be friends after this?
CW: NSFT-MDNI- So much mutual pining and longing, not sharing feelings. This chap- making out, masturbation (toru hehe), teasing and some very kinky ass thoughts, but mostly TENSION. Eventually - Explicit sex, oral sex, it's me so a breed kink. Gonna be a miniseries, Satoru is a lil sweetie and a lil freaky ass- falls hard, ya'll both down bad. WC this Part- 7.5k
Songs for this - Lose Contol // My Boo // Friends
This was supposed to be a oneshot but it's going WAY too long, so I'm separating it into three parts! (Also ty for 5k hehe) Comments and reblogs appreciated <3
Masterlist - Part Two>>>
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Part one
“You love me, right?”
You blink a bit, as you stare at Satoru Gojo, he’s been your best friend all throughout high school and even before you’ve known him. You’re sitting across from him, while he’s sipping boba with you, his Gucci shades perched on the bridge of that straight nose, a smirk on his glossy lips. You tilt your head curiously at him, of course you love Satoru, but he only pulls this when he needs a favor.
“What’d you get into this time, Toru?” You demand, he gasps then, affronted, a hand to his chest.
“Excuse me, missy? I’m just asking if you love me.”
You roll your eyes, leaning back in your seat in the little cafe. “Of course, you know I love your goofy ass.”
 Satoru takes off his glasses, those swirling blue eyes wrecking you as they have all these years, usually you can put up enough of a barrier not to let them consume you, but apparently you haven’t today. You watch those snowy lashes lower when his eyes bore into you, swirling storms of bright blue, you have to snap yourself out of it.
Being Satoru Gojo’s best friend wasn’t for the weak.
“How much you love me, hmm?”
“What is it you need, an alibi?” He snorts then, shaking his head and wrapping his lips around the straw.
“M’not Suguru, shit… no, I need a really big favor. Like… the biggest favor, but if you agree, I can really make it worth your while.”
“Okay this isn’t a mobster movie, Toru, what is it?” Satoru looks down then, long fingers swirling around the top of his cup, before his eyes snap back to yours.
“What if I said I’d help you with all that student loan debt, and buy you a shiny brand new car?”
“Satoru, I don’t want your money, I do fine okay?”
“Your car is old enough to drink.”
“Fuck off!” Your glare makes him snort in laughter. “It is not, it’s like… not even old enough to vote… I don’t think.”
“It’s old, sweets. Say you also had a place to stay, for free?”
“Satoru this isn’t Pretty Woman-”
“I love that movie!”
“Satoru! What are you getting at!?” You’re crossing your arms then, raising a brow at the lanky man across from you, whose legs are spread wide in his dark blue dress pants, he’s pulling just a bit at his silky black tie.
Satoru has taken a huge role recently in his family business, the conglomerate that owned a million different things, you know how much he detests it, but once Satoru graduated college his family pushed it more and more. At this point he was thriving, doing most of the work with his father taking much more of a back seat, his health starting to deteriorate.
You and Gojo spend more time together than ever, you know he needs his friend, especially with Suguru having left for some time, the two of them not together was always hard on him. You’d been friends with both of them, but Suguru seems to have left and found his own calling, swinging through to see you both from time to time, but much is different since those days at Tokyo high.
Not you and Satoru though.
For the longest time you pined away for him, but you never made that move, aside from one stolen kiss in a closet during seven minutes in heaven, and Satoru had it bad for you all of Junior and Senior year, but the two of you never risked it, your friendship. And now you’re glad to have him in your life, but it’s hard to even think of someone serious when he’s so brightly and firmly in your life.
“This is a huge favor I need, it’s… a lot to ask.” Satoru murmurs softly, you tense a bit, brows drawing together.
“What’s wrong, is everything okay?” Your voice is a low hum as you murmur, he nods just a bit.
“Yeah it’s fine just… I’m being forced to choose a bride, and they have many candidates.” He laughs humorlessly, and your heart breaks for him.
“Shit, I’m so sorry, Satoru. I thought you’d have longer?”
“Yeah, I wish.” He runs a hand through his silky white locks, looking down for a moment, lips that always smirk or maybe pout actually frowning. “I need to just get it done, get em off my ass.”
“That doesn’t sound like you, why not tell em to fuck themselves, hmm? Where’s my Toru!?”
“He’s exhausted.” He swipes a hand across his face, and you lean closer, hand on his leg, his eyes sliding back to yours.
“Do you want me to help find someone? I have a lot of good friends in high families… find you someone not money hungry, not a psycho? How much time do you even have?”
“That’s not what I'm asking.” He puts his big hand over yours now, sighing, leaning closer to you. “I’m asking if you want to.”
“If I want to, what exactly?”
“Marry me?”
“What!?” He chuckles then, but even that sound is exhausted.
“You forget you’re from a top family, nah it’s not the Gojo clan but…”
“Satoru…”
“Just for like a bit? To get em to leave me alone, let me gain some more power. All for show, and I’ll help you with anything, I promise.” He’s clutching your hand, and suddenly the room feels like it’s spinning.
“Wh-why me? We… you… I…”
“You’re my best friend, it would be like being roommates damn near. You could… do your thing as long as you’re discrete.” He murmurs, you want to laugh then, as if you’ve done anything in a couple of years now. “And I would be discrete, respectful, we’d just be in name, appearance. We’re best friends, it will be a piece of cake, and most of all… I trust you.”
You try to digest all the information, blinking and trying not to think the insane thoughts that come with it, but you fail. “But won’t they want… an heir?”
Satoru’s cheeks flush bright pink now. “We don’t need to… I’d never ask you to do that, ever I swear. I’d never be an ass like that.”
You feel your heart racing as you shove back all of the images you should not have for your friend. “I know, I know. But… they’d-”
“That’s the thing, a year or so and they’ll back off. Give me time to fix some mistakes, with dad being sick… I’m not saying I won’t miss him, but how he is running shit? No, I know I can make things better, take down these shitty higher ups who are so greedy. You just could give me more time, and I promise I’ll do anything I can to help you too.”
“It’s insane, this is marriage!” You blink a bit, shifting, his hand now brushing back a lock of hair from your forehead, a familiar gesture that now takes on something more intimate.
“It can just be for show, we’ll be the same best friends as always. I have no one I can imagine even living with but you, maybe Suguru but… he’s not a girl.”
“He has that long silky hair?” You both laugh a little, softly then.
“He sure does, but… you’re prettier to look at.”
“Flattery? Stop that. It’s insane, and… how would we even explain it in such a rush?”
“We’ve been friends forever. Who wouldn’t believe that we got together? It’s even easier. I mean, maybe a couple kisses and things for show, but… you’ve kissed me before, remember?” He’s grinning wide then, you shove at him playfully. “That closet was cramped, hmm?”
“Oh shut it, that was so long ago. I mean, if you really need me, you know I’ll do this for you. I don’t expect you to go all out on anything for me in return.” Satoru pauses now, watching how the light streaming in through the large cafe windows hits your pretty face, as you explain to him that you’d want nothing in return for this!? For this huge imposition on your life.
You have always been the sweetest, best friend he has had, so important to him he’s never dared to cross that line, and he knows it will tempt him to no end to do this, but he also knows he can trust you. “Let me just take care of a few things for you, you can almost see it as a job. There will be events, meetings with the other leaders, trust me. Like anything I can do, you’ll be helping me so much.”
“Alright.”
“What!?”
He’s hugging you tightly to him, you giggle a bit, breathless. “Yeah, I’ll do it… I need a nice car though, Toru. A BMW?”
“I’ll get you ten BMWs.”
“Jesus, no. Silly boy.” You giggle as you look up at him, your best friend, but then your heart falters when he’s just a bit too close.
“Should we practice kissing now?” He teases, voice husky.
“Satoru, you're insufferable.”
He pouts now, and you swallow down the fact that you don’t know if you can even handle kissing his lips. “Aww you’re still such a brat, since middle school.”
“You’re the brat here.”
“Meanie.” You both stick your tongues out, and when he’s walking you over to your shitty car, he wraps you in a big hug in his strong arms, making you melt against him. “Mwah, mwah, mwah you’re the best friend ever.”
“Oh, stop.” He’s smacking kisses on your head as you inhale his cologne, sighing as you contemplate just what the fuck you’re doing. “When do we do this?” You ask, pulling back a bit and looking up at him.
“I can have things going in a couple weeks, something super simple, like I said we’ll just live our lives, just be friends, it’ll be fine. Like a really long sleepover, hmm?” He teases, grinning now, putting back on his shades.
You figure, what’s it hurt? Your apartment is shitty, your car is old, Gojo is your best friend, and you’re down to help him avoid a miserable marriage for as long as he can. You nod then, smiling. “A long sleepover.”
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One week of being ‘fake married’ to Satoru Gojo, your best friend
Satoru Gojo thought he would control himself decently living with you, considering how many times you’ve slept over, how many movies you both have crashed out on the couch together. He’s seen you in bathing suits over the years, he’s caught glimpses of your pretty body of course, he knows how beautiful you are and he’s always maintained himself.
Satoru treasures you far too much to fuck it up in any way, despite the amount of times he’s almost lost it. Aside from Suguru, you have been the most important person in his life, and perhaps you’re closer now. But he can’t help but compare other girls to you over the years, and he usually makes quick work of the small relationships that he has with them.
However, what he hadn’t anticipated? Living with you walking around in your fucking panties and a crop top.
You nearly took him out the first morning you were here, when he went to brush his teeth, he has a huge house but of course you went to the main bathroom that divides his room and the room he set for you, it’s the bathroom you used when you stayed over. So he should have maybe anticipated it, but nothing prepared him for you bent over the sink, washing your face.
Your ass looked far too tempting in those damn boyshorts, half of each cheek tempting him to smack it, grab it, fucking lift you by it and slide into you. He was shocked when he was hard from the sight of it, he’s not inexperienced or not used to women, and he’s used to you, but something about the sight made him fucking feral, and he had to literally run to one of his guest bathrooms.
He now was almost used to you walking around in almost nothing, but this morning you’re in some little white tank top and he sees the outlines of the curve of your pretty tits, sees your nipples perked up, begging for his mouth. You’re wiping your eyes, yawning, using his Keurig to make coffee, smiling at him as if this is in any way normal or okay.
He gulps as you turn your attention to him, hair in a messy bun, his eyes struggle not to just stare at your body, he has to shut his mouth because it’s just slightly ajar. Satoru, a man who sees women naked frequently, fuck he has business meetings at strip clubs, nudity is nothing. But he can’t take it, take how your breasts are calling for him, how your thighs shift.
“Good morning, Toru! We have that event tonight, right?” You say sweetly, as his heart hammers in his chest, and then you feel his gaze on you, making your nipples tighten, more apparent as you look where he is now, biting your lip. “Shit, white isn’t the best color huh? How embarrassing… it’s kinda cold…”
“Yeah, cold.” He clears his throat, stepping closer, and your eyes drink him in, shirtless and built so perfect. You’ve seen him this way of course over the years, Satoru had no issue pulling his top off to work out, play a game of ball, but something about him in his soft sweats that show too much makes your brain run awry.
You should be immune to it, the god-like body Satoru Gojo has, how fucking perfect he is built, how pretty he is, but something makes your tummy heat up lately, especially when he comes closer, blue eyes lidded. “Um, I’ll make coffee?”
“Yes please.” He smiles sleepily, far too pretty, and you have to remind yourself, as you have all week, that you’re not with him, not truly.
It feels too easy, too comfy.
That was the point though.
“Got it.” You turn now, setting to put the pod in, tiptoeing to get his sugar, he chuckles deeply, reaching above you now, far too close to you, his bare chest pressing against your upper back. Your fingers grip the counters, feeling the cool granite of them, your breath catching.
“I’ll put them a little lower.” He teases, smirking as he sets them down, leaning a hip on the counter, and you smile, pretending to be calm, like your heart didn’t just beat out of your chest.
You’ve literally hugged this man every time you’ve seen him, you’ve even crashed next to him, why is he fucking with you so badly!? You suppose his presence in pieces was just easier to cope with than anything, but now your brain keeps having ridiculous images. Him having you up on that counter, your thighs spread, so intense you drop the spoon, it clatters to his tile floor.
“Shit, sorry.” You bend down, and your breath is right against him, over his thin sweats, and you look up at him, creating the worst images of his best friends he can ever imagine.
“It’s… fine.” He clears his throat, turning so you don’t see the clear evidence of what you’ve done.
“You okay, Toru? Tons of sugar, like usual?”
“Yeah.” His voice is gruff, as he glares at his cock, willing it to go down, you blink curiously at his back, wondering what’s wrong. You clear your throat again and hand him the cup, stepping next to him, he takes it, having put his cock up in the waistband of his boxers now, smiling nonchalantly. “Thanks sweets.”
“Of course! Can we go over a few things later today, before we go? I don’t wanna fuck anything up.”
“Of course we can. I also ordered you a dress and some jewelry, that cool?”
“Oh what? I have dresses, pretty ones!”
“I know, it’s really uppity bitches there though, you need something top notch.”
“Oh…” You trail off, a blush decorating your cheeks now, making you look even more tempting. “But you don’t know my size?’
Satoru brushes a tendril of hair that’s come out of your bun then, smirking just a bit. “Think I don’t know your size, sweetheart?”
“I… um…” Satoru has you flustered, dammit. “Oh?”
“Mhmm.” As if he hasn’t eyed your body a million times over. “It’ll be here later, I have to go to work for just a couple hours.” You nod then, for some odd reason wanting to kiss him, but you bite your lip instead.
“Sounds perfect, I have the day off!”
“Even better, go take a nice bath and relax before we deal with the snobby old fucks.” You giggle at him, you have always loved how he speaks of rich people, when he’s filthy rich, but Satoru? He’s very different.
He’s just…
Satoru.
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Satoru’s heart doesn’t hammer in his chest, it almost falls out after he’s got his three piece pinstripe suit on, adjusting a skinny silk tie and peering at his silver Rolex, seeing what time it was, as you appear in front of him. The dress he picked out was a lacy black one, perfect for evening, but the way it hugs your every curve, the way your breasts are pressed up in that top?
You do a nervous spin, revealing your pretty back, the curve of your spine, the v neck so deep he sees hints of the dimples on your back. You turn back around, eyes glittering, enhanced with a little mascara and eyeliner, your lips the prettiest shade of red he can imagine. You look…
Beautiful.
Is that even the word?
How does he even explain it, when he’s speechless, when he feels his ears heat up at just how nervous he is to be in your presence then, eyeing a delicate gold necklace that hits just so in the hollow between your collar bones. You’re tilting your head to the side, hair falling softly in curls you’ve put it in, clutching your pretty little evening bag.
“How do I look, Toru? You look so handsome, but when don’t you.” You tease, and he tries not to look at the slit showing far too much of your pretty thigh, so tempting to slip a hand up it, find your surely pretty little pussy.
“You look…” He takes a breath, trying to act somewhat normal, smiling then. “You look… hot as fuck.”
You giggle then, rolling your eyes. “Oh whatever!”
“You look… amazing. Really.” He steps to you, giving into the temptation to brush the backs of his finger across the apple of your cheek, then across your jaw line, watching your breath catch, your red lips part, showing a hint of your little bottom row of teeth.
How would that pretty face look so fucked out?
God, it’s been a week, he needs to stop.
His hand falls, and you barely hold yourself together, breaths coming quicker and quicker. “You look beautiful, sweets. Gonna make quite the impression.” His husky admission makes you blush further, looking down and eyeing that little knot on his tie, as it’s like the entire room is holding its breath, everything so overwhelming, his nearness, his scent.
“Thank you, really for this dress. It’s so beautiful, and this.” You touch the pretty gold necklace, just making his eyes watch your pretty breasts rise and fall.
“Of course, it’s part of this, you know.” His little admission breaks you just a bit, for some insane reason, you felt like this was some date? You rein yourself in just a bit, smiling.
“Yes, but thank you. Shall we go, hubby?’
“We sure can, wifey.” You both laugh, the friendship of years prevailing finally, when you slip into the back of his limo with him, trying to ignore the feeling of his strong thigh pressing against yours, burning through the silky layer of the dress. “So remember the story?”
“Yeah, it’s easy to think of it happening, friends falling.” You then panic, as his blue eyes catch yours in the dark of the limo. “I mean-”
“No, of course it is. I’ll say that… I started falling in high school.” Because he did, god he did. After you all are about to be at the event, he notices it, your nerves, this just wasn’t your scene. “You look perfect, really.”
“Oh no…” He leans close, cupping your face, but it feels too good, your lips are too close.
“You do, gonna knock 'em dead, yeah?”
“We both will.” You smile tremulously, inhaling the night air greedily as you both walk up to the event, being ushered in. You’re clinging around his elbow as he casually goes about it, going into Mr. Gojo mode, you’ve seen him do it plenty over the years, still keeping his charm and sarcasm, but he’s just a force, the way he plays them all.
Knowing Gojo wants to take most of these people down is thrilling in its own way, you’ve always been enamored with how he fights for his principles, how real and raw he truly is with you about it. How humble when he’s come from everything, but still he knows that role he must play, and play it he does, his hand pressing on the small of your back as you two make small talk.
“I always thought of you two falling for each other.” Says your mom now, yes even your parents had to think it was true.
“I did too… so sudden though? Young love.” Gojo’s mom says, tossing back her silky long locks with a smile.
“What can I say? Your son is hard to resist, he’s so persistent. Like a cute little puppy.”
“A what!? Brat.” He’s glaring, but your parents and his mom are laughing, and you know it works, being real.
“Aren’t you two so in love?” Another person says later, as they observe Satoru placing a little peck on your temple, and he smiles with ease, not realizing the entire mess he’s making you.
“A beautiful couple. Gojo, you chose well.” One of his work friends says with a grin.
“We’re very lucky, both of us.” You say softly, stopping Gojo’s heart, when you peck a little kiss on his neck, tiptoeing in your heels, he turns then, your lips far too close, so close you taste the sweetness of his breath, and your eyes lock. “Aren’t we, Satoru?”
He blinks, realizing… you’re just helping him, and you’re nailing it. He tries to shove back the odd fluttering in his tummy, tilting your chin up. “We are lucky.”
The night ends up with plenty of dancing, plenty of schmoozing back and forth, and plenty of both of you being the perfect team. It was so easy, you both knew each other like no one else, the answers flow, the dancing flows, you’ve both danced in school before, you’ve partied together. You’ve been a plus one even as a friend.
Too natural, too perfect.
You soon need a breath, as you feel far too much as Satoru dances with a lovely girl, you recognize her, Gojo dated her and she’s a family friend. You assume she was a candidate for marriage as you recall her family ties, but seeing someone in his arms suddenly makes your heart break.
It’s only been a fucking week!? Can’t you keep it together!?
Later as you both get home, you’re taking off your shoes, wincing as the heels are off your feet, and Satoru looks at you curiously. “You okay, sweets? Kinda a long night of assholes, huh?”
“Oh it’s fine, Toru. Truly. Um… I recognized a couple girls there.”
“Yeah, they run in the same circles.” He takes off his jacket, rolling up his sleeves of that crisp white dress shirt, revealing the veins of his strong forearms, addling your mind further, how fucking attractive he is when he loosens that tie.
“Um, I know you said discrete, will you be… bringing them here?”
Satoru blinks at you, head tilting, soft white hair falling just so. “What? Bring who here?”
“Um, her, or any of the girls there really. If so I think I’ll probably… wanna know if you don’t mind? So I can make sure I’m in the room or whatever. A little notice?”
Satoru walks to you now, your head is tilted back when he hooks two fingers under your chin. “You think I am interested in them?”
“They’re beautiful. And we’re not together, so it’s fine! Just… a little notice would be cool?”
“And you, what if you bring someone over.” His jaw tenses, his words surprisingly sharp. “Will you tell me?”
You laugh softly. “That won’t even be a thing.”
“In a year?”
“It’s… never been a thing really.” You realize then, that you are almost spilling it, the fact that the entirety of your experience is one fuck in college, a two pump event that involved nothing really.
His brows draw together in disbelief. “Never? You don’t…”
“Listen, we’re best friends, but that’s private. Okay?” He nods, stepping back and rubbing the back of his neck, looking down.
“Shit I mean you date a bit though?”
“Yeah, I do. But… it’s… I need to get out of this dress.” You say then, suddenly rushing to your room, leaving Satoru’s mind whirling.
How do you think he wants anyone when you’re here killing him.
“Toru?” You lean your head out from the bathroom a few moments later.
“Yeah?”
“This is embarrassing, but the zipper is stuck, and it’s so expensive… I don’t wanna fuck the dress up.” You murmur, he smiles, feigning ease as he steps into the bathroom, peering at you in the golden gilded mirror.
“No worries, got ya. Huh it is a little stuck…” He gently tugs at the zipper, humming a big. “Um… hang on I need to pull it up a bit.”
“Sure. Be careful!”
“You’re worried about this when I could buy you ten more tomorrow.”
“Still!”
He smiles at your reflection, hand palming your bare back then, making you bite back a gasp, body shifting in desire at just the touch, your eyes shut so he can’t see them rolling back, but he sees those goosebumps everywhere. He unzips it then, revealing lacy panties that make him pause, letting the dress fall, you’re catching it at the front, gasping.
“I think I got it.” He says huskily, unable to stop his fingers from trailing up your delicate spine, blue eyes so bright in the mirror they wreck you, while you barely hold the material on. “Need any more help?”
“No! I mean… n-no.” Shit shit shit.
You’re soaked from a brush against your back!?
“Got ya.” He smiles just a bit, leaving you now, resting his back on the door, hand running across his face, curious how he’s throbbing with precum from seeing your fucking back.
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Two weeks of being ‘fake married’ to Satoru Gojo, your best friend
You arrive at his work, the coworkers all greeting you so friendly, as his assistant Miwa escorts you, giving you both soft smiles. “Your wife is here Mr. Gojo.”
Satoru looks up in surprise, you’re in your pretty work dress, looking all cute and professional, holding a bento box in one hand, a boba in the other. You’re smiling brightly, as his lips part in surprise. “I had an early day and I thought I should bring some lunch?”
“Oh… oh thank you… Miwa if you could?”
“Of course, I’ll give you some privacy.” You hear her giggle and you smile at Satoru, looking as he’s leaned back in his big leather seat, smiling softly back at you, eyeing your hands.
“I get lunch made for me, shit I am lucky with my fake bride.” You snort, rolling your eyes and walking up to him, setting them on the desk.
“It seemed wifey to do? But also I really do have a short day, figured you might be hungry?”
Fuck you’re sweet.
Fuck you’re pretty.
God, you’re looking at him like that, leaned over just a bit, his eyes darting over your body that tempts him every day more and more, but your sweetness ruins him, the thoughtful nature you’ve always had, but now so geared to him. Is it all for show, he can’t believe it is when you open the bento and show him sushi, onigiri and greens placed so prettily his mouth waters.
“You ordered this, yeah?”
“No silly, I’ve been practicing. You helping me have some time off work has literally given me so much time… I hope they’re yummy? Oh, I didn’t make the boba though.”
“Why didn’t you get anything?” He asks, frowning.
“Oh I’m good, I just was dropping it off. You’re probably busy, taking down the villains huh?” Satoru’s words catch in his throat, looking you up and down again, before looking back down at the food in front of him.
“Stay a bit, it’ll… look good you know, us having lunch together.” He murmurs, lying out of his fucking teeth, as if he didn’t want to eat you then and there.
Your thighs spread, panties to the side, lapping you up?
Yummier than this. Killing him to imagine.
“Oh, um… where do I sit, over here?” You go to scooch a chair over, and he stops you.
“Nah those are heavy, come on.” He pats his thigh, earning your eyes widening, pulse fluttering as he smirks. “You’ve sat on my lap at parties plenty.”
“Y-yeah… but it’s… I…”
“C’mon, have a couple bites please, I’ll feel bad if you did all this for me and didn’t eat.”
“Satoru, you have bought me a new wardrobe and a car, can’t I make some sushi?”
“Sit.”
You sigh, it’s true you’ve sat on his lap, but the past two weeks of constantly being wet around him are taking their toll. You smile brightly, sitting on one of his thighs, praying he can’t feel it, the heat from your pussy as you’re pressed on a muscled thigh, and he’s picking up sushi with chopsticks, popping one in his mouth and moaning, rolling his eyes.
“Fuck that’s yummy. You made it for real!?” You giggle, nodding and trying to be more comfortable, it’s your Toru, right?
“It’s pretty easy once you get the hang of it. That’s got eel sauce on it, this one is the spicy crab.”
“You like spicy crab, here.” He pops one to your lips, and something feels too intimate, on his lap like this. “Open.”
Open.
Open!?
The pictures of you hearing him that while on your knees makes your cunt dribble, you shift nervously, clearing your throat.
“Open, silly.”
You do as he says, as he pops the roll in your mouth, and you chew, feeling the flavor hit your tongue, he grins now, popping another into his mouth, and you wonder if it’s easy for him to be this way. He’s so natural at it, sipping his boba and humming happily, all while his thigh presses where you’ve been aching for him, forcing yourself not to touch your pussy to the thought of him.
You can’t do that, it’s fucked.
You try to get up, and he presses you down, big hand on your waist, far too close when he leans the thick straw to your lips. “Take a sip, it’s so good.”
“Oh… um sure. Thank you.” You take a sip, lips pressing where his had, and he can’t stop focusing on how good your lips look, wrapping as you suck, cheeks hollowing and making his cock twitch.
You both sit there then, staring at each other, breaths coming just a little too quick from you, as he sets the drink down, but you stay on his lap. “Y’know… the event tonight, we should probably actually kiss? There will be cameras all over.”
“Kiss!?” He laughs then, shaking his head.
“Yeah, I mean it’s kind of part of it. You’re comfy with it right, not gonna fall head over heels.”
“Psh.” You already have, long ago, it’s all fucking hitting. “You’re so cocky, Toru I swear.”
“I can’t help it, my lips are so talented, you know. Makes girls fall.” He brushes his silky hair back, winking at you then, and you swear you can hear your heart in your goddamn ears.
“I remember you were pretty good.”
“Yeah, you remember?”
“Yeah it… was my first kiss.” You mumble then, looking away, sipping his boba nervously, he blinks rapidly, blue eyes wide in shock.
“What now!?”
“No biggie, we were like seventeen…”
“But you… never told me?”
“It was embarrassing.” Satoru’s mind races to that night, as does yours, as you sit in his office, just the hum of the fan and soft music playing from his little device, staring at each other, both in a haze.
You and Satoru Gojo were thrown in a closet together, you’re sighing as you’re pressed against him, peeking at your phone in the dark to see the time. Being too close to Satoru wreaked havoc on your brains at times, though you have known him so long, you couldn’t lie and act like you didn’t think of things… kissing him, maybe dating him? But you know they’re silly thoughts.
“Don’t freak out, we’ll just let 'em think we made out.” He says now, and you turn your eyes up to him, adjusting in the dark, but even here you can see the glint of those bright baby blues.
“Y-yeah. You’ve kissed plenty, though.”
“You haven’t really?”
“Um, no.”
Satoru’s gently turning you to him now, tilting your chin up while his eyes adjust to see your pretty face, you’re thankful it’s so dark that he couldn’t see your blush. “We could practice, you know.”
“Satoru!”
“What? A little practice between friends? You know you wanna kiss me.” He taunts, teasing tone as he grins.
“No way!”
“Not at all? I’m hurt, sweets.”
“Oh whatever, it'd be weird, we’re too close. Do you kiss Suguru?”
“Oh yeah, have you seen him?”
You both laugh then, when he leans down just a bit. “Well, if you kissed Suguru, I feel left out now.”
“We can’t have that. Show me what you do know, I’ll advise.”
“Kissing expert, hmm?”
“Mhmm.” You lean up then, as he bends down, your arms wrapping around his neck, you pause as his hands press against your waist, making your heart race. “Ya scared?”
“No! Goofy ass.” He’s chuckling until you lean up, pulling him down for a kiss, and your lips meet for the first time.
Your first kiss.
He pauses, your lips connecting just do something. Satoru at seventeen had done plenty of make out sessions, but they were fun, something to do, exciting at times, but nothing prepared him for it. For your sweet lips on him, tingling them, his heart beating in his chest.
Satoru falters, and he never falters.
He doesn’t slip his tongue in, he doesn’t pull you close, he freezes, so in shock at how good it feels, how right it feels. You ease back, nervous then, clearing your throat, as he hasn’t moved his lips. “I’m sorry I’m not…”
Satoru yanks you against him then, pressing your body on his, kissing you over and over, so deeply, taking your breath away, you’ve never felt something like this, you’re trembling as you feel his tongue slip against the seam of your lips. “Open them up for me.”
This isn’t silly Satoru, goofy ass friend, his husky declaration destroys you, and he uses the gasp to slip his tongue inside, swirling with yours, igniting something between you that night that you will both avoid talking about for years. When he presses you against the closet door, sighing into your lips, and you’re being picked up in his arms, as your mouths move over each other.
You both pull back, gasping as the timer goes off.
What was that!?
“If I’d known it was your first kiss, maybe I wouldn’t have… gotten so excited.” He says with a little pink on his cheeks.
“No, you didn’t cross any lines, Toru. Don’t worry.”
He wants to laugh, because oh, he wanted to.
If he’d had more time he’s sure he’d have lost it, whatever control he has now he did not have as a seventeen year old. “Was it a good one at least?”
“The best a girl could have.” You say softly, smiling at him then, making his heart race when you both sit there, far too close, and he swears he can feel your heat against the hand that’s on your thigh.
“I know I’m pretty amazing hmm?” He teases, trying to hide the raging storm inside of him, you giggle, shaking your head and standing finally.
“You’re a conceited little shit.”
“Hey!?”
You’re both back at ease, as he stands now too, looming so tall over you, his presence making it hard to remember why you’re here. “I should go.”
“We should practice, though, yeah?”
“I mean… you think we’re that rusty?” You try to feign ease, he smiles then.
“Yeah, we gotta be. We’ll bump our heads together or some shit.”
“Okay… um…” You take a sip of his boba then, clearing your throat and smiling up at him. “Let’s practice.”
Satoru brushes his thumb across your chin, your ass pressed against his desk and you’re pinned between it and him, your hands sliding up his starch white dress shirt slowly, eyes lowering to his glossy lips. He presses a kiss against your lips, and you then know it, more than ever.
Nothing is like kissing Satoru.
Nothing is like his lips making contact with yours, as your eyes close, the feeling of him working his lips over you so gently, making you tremble, making you ache in ways you have tried to hide, to avoid. He pulls back, cupping your face and exhaling, his snowy lashes low over cerulean eyes, his lips parted just so, as you both stare at each other, speechless.
You don’t know if he’s as affected, and neither does he.
“How’s that?” He asks softly, and you lean up, your fingers enwrapping in his hair, as two of his hands bar you on either side.
“Maybe one or two more? To look natural.” You whisper, and you expect a smirk, or something cocky, conceited, but he slams his lips on yours now.
His tongue is swirling against yours in moments, as you both devour each other, hungry and needy, kissing each other desperate, messy now. A kiss like you’ve never had, as his hands press against your hips, then he lifts you on the desk, your thighs around his hips, making you cry out. The sound causes him to lose any semblance of control, he’s biting your lower lip, moaning into your mouth.
“Mmm!” Your hands pull his hair now, as his slip up your bare thighs, and then you feel it, the hardness under his slacks against your heat, your panties already sticky and damp, and you pull back with a gasp.
Your eyes shoot up to his when you break apart for just a moment, and Satoru’s breath is coming in little pants, his fingers scrunching your skirt up your hips, yanking you closer. You whimper now, head falling to the side, and he’s kissing down the side of your neck, your breasts pressing against his chest, dying for him inside you, as he’s ready to fuck you right on his desk.
“Satoru… what are-” You’re trying to whisper when his lips find the shell of your ear.
“I need-”
Knock knock knock.
You both pull back, his eyes dilated to the point they’re dark, his hands still on your bare skin, as his eyes dart down your body. “Yes?” He manages gruffly.
“Twenty minutes until your meeting Mr. Gojo.” You hear, and he curses softly, turning away, trying to calm his nerves, his racing heart, all while you’re hopping down, trying to pull yourself together.
You’re almost darting out of the door when he sees you. “Shit, please…”
“No, no. We um… were practicing?” You manage to whisper, as his hand is over yours on the knob. “I got carried away.”
He laughs, without humor. “You did?”
“I did. I’m sorry I don’t even do this.”
“Just how… inexperienced are you?” He asks softly.
“A lot.”
Because she can’t help but compare every man to Satoru Gojo.
“Well, you can’t tell, you’re an amazing kisser.” You blush furiously, looking down, biting your lower lip.
“You don’t have to say it.”
“You are, shit. My god.” He brushes your hair off the side of your neck, exhaling, breath tickling you, setting your body on fire.
“Thank you, so are you. We will be good to go tonight, you think?” You whisper, so nervous to say what you want to, and he pauses, clearing his throat, his hand falling off your shoulder now.
“We’ll kill it. Thank you again for lunch.”
“Of course.” You brightly smile, trying to remember.
It’s fake, it’s fake, it’s fake.
As you’re repeating it in your head, Satoru is struggling to not lift your skirt up and fuck into you right on this door, he wouldn’t care if the entire office heard you scream his goddamn name. When you slip out the door he rests his head on it, the cool wood doing nothing to his overheated skin, hands clenching into his fists as he tries to calm himself.
What was that, what is that with you both?
He promised he would be respectful, he has to try to rein it all in, he has to make sure your friendship isn’t ruined because he can’t stop himself. Satoru tells himself that as he wills his cock to go down, but he can’t stop himself, soon he’s stroking it right in that seat, remembering feeling your pussy pressing against his length.
God he needs you, he shuts his eyes, imagining sinking inside you while he twists his hand up and down his length, desperate for any relief. He had some regulars he would call back in the day, but not only does it feel so wrong to do so, he doesn’t want anyone but you, he can’t even put a vision in his mind but you.
‘It’s fine, baby girl you can take me’ he murmurs softly, snowy lashes shut as he imagines fucking into you, stretching you god he bets you’re so tight, and he could feel that warmth, imagining you as he spits down on his pretty cock.
His pink tip is oozing precum while his head rests back in his office chair, he can still smell your scent, that shampoo you use, the body spray you have worn since high school, it’s you. He’d kiss every inch of your body, have you so ready you beg for him, fuck you so good tears pool in your pretty eyes, he can damn near feel is as his hand strokes faster and faster.
He lets out a soft groan, muttering a ‘that’s it, you’re so wet f’me, huh?’ to the very image of you on that desk, tasting your sweetness on his lips, while he pinches his tip, the precum and spit wetting his cock enough that the sound of him stroking fills his office. His breath quickens as he thinks of shoving your thighs up high, slamming into your cervix, ruining you.
As he cums white hot spurts all over his palm he cries out softly, the release feeling so good, he’s fought it, touching himself to you, but he can’t anymore. He quickly cleans up, panicking as he sees what he’s done, jerked off to one of his best friend’s in the world, someone who trusts him, and he’s not even holding himself together for shit now.
He exhaustedly leans his head against the desk as his alarm for the next meeting starts, struggling to remember this isn’t real, but his cock sure didn’t fucking realize that, and by the time he’s home and he sees you all dressed up for the next event? He almost has to go jerk off again.
You’re smiling all nervous in this beautiful glittering gown, and he’s once again speechless, trying to pull together his usual charm, but it falls flat. You look at him, concern clear on your features. “Everything okay Satoru?”
“Of course it is. Look at you.” He smiles, putting on the best show he can, as you wonder if you’ve over thought that kiss, he just seems so normal really.
Maybe he just got carried away, should you act normal too?But how can you, when just the brush of his hand on the small of your back shoots desire straight through your body. It’s only been two weeks, how could you hold out an entire year?
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Sooo to have written this in a oneshot would have been INSANE but expect the next two parts very quicklyyy ;) Gojo is DOWN BAD my god- smut in the next hehe.
Part two
taglist #1: @plaggi @baepsays @victoria1676 @flwerie @luringfantasy @moncher-ire @allonyyourmom @kindablackenedsuperhero @evelynxxo @jkslaugh97 @sugurusfavemonkey @ninikrumbs @s4ikooo1 @bunheadusa @twinkling-moonlillie @chameleonsoul111 @nina-from-317 @naammiii @whippedbyikemen @alygator77 @uarmyhopeworldwide @1satoruu @theclassbookworm @jud3thedude @isleqt @mcromer2999-blog @silvarys @orikixx @jiejies-corner-store @assbutt-inlove-with-koreans @lordbugs @ari-sa @blue-musingss @minaa-06 @uhnosav @cvixmei @seeiin @indiewritesxoxo @loafteaw @moonlitwitchdaisy @beachaddict48 @miizuzu @honeybunnnnie @honeybunnnnie @gojosukuna2268 @haruhatake @strychnynegirl @jinjen @give-em-hellkid
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skyedancer-system · 6 days ago
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Going into Poppy Playtime Chap. 4 I was not expecting to get halfway decent plural rep but here we are????
Spoilers for the new chapter under the cut, and also cw for all the general Poppy Playtime stuff (child death + experimentation, body horror, if you know the game you get the gist)
SO THIS GUY HUH
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Doey the Doughman, the surprise character revealed just days before the chapter dropped and who finally answered the question of the red/orange/yellow hand imagery we’ve been getting teased with for so long
In the chapter himself he’s pretty important to the plot and is an ally to the player, Poppy, and Kissy for (most of) the chapter, and he’s a pretty nice guy just with a bit of a temper, and very overwhelmed by having to keep the Safe Haven together and protected in Poppy’s absence.
But his personal story? How he was created via Playtime Co.’s Bigger Bodies Initiative? Oh god it’s honestly one of the most messed up ones yet other than Yarnaby (and that’s saying something considering this is child experimentation we’re talking about, and Yarnaby lost his entire self and was treated like a straight up animal, isolated so he would love and obey Harley and only Harley)
Where most of the living toys were made from one child, Doey was made from three. Jack, a visitor to the factory that got caught in a freak accident and was taken into Playtime’s care for his medical recovery. Kevin, a problem child in the Playcare known for his anger issues. And Matthew, an extremely kind boy who tried to keep hopes up among all the orphans in the Playcare, and was a sort of leader to them.
And all three of them are still present in some form; at various points in the game you see them switch, speaking and thinking differently, with varying opinions on everything happening. And from the tape of the Jack’s parents seeing what Playtime did to their son, we see that the three have separate memories as well, at least they did when they were first put together.
And this plurality that was forced onto them isn’t played for scary points like you’d expect from a mascot horror game. Yes it is part of Doey’s monstrous design once they get upset, but them being upset is because everything they had worked to protect was destroyed by the Prototype. All of the other kids turned toys that had kept their consciousness and relied on Doey for protection, mercilessly killed. Anybody would be horrifically upset in that situation. And one of the three boys - Kevin - lashes out at the player, the other two trying to calm him down only for all of them to fall into anger and emotion.
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You can clearly see the three kids; one angry, two sad, all of their emotions coming together into a grief induced rage, with physical pain only compounding it. And when you eventually have to kill them and put them out of their misery, their last words?
“I’m sorry.”
They were just kids; three kids forced into a horrible situation and having to learn to live with it. And for a long time it seems that they did, working together rather peacefully until their lives were upheaved by the arrival of the player and Poppy’s reappearance.
Kevin’s anger at everyone and the world is completely justified; I mean he and the other two were experimented on and then kept caged like animals, being practically forced to kill! He wanted to protect them; to avenge the countless others that had been killed by the Playtime scientists and the Prototype! And considering things only went to shit after the player and Poppy showed up? Well it’s no wonder that anger got directed at them
It it a super good depiction of plurality? No, not by a long shot. But it’s definitely way better than I would expect from a game like Poppy Playtime.
I was not expecting this post to get this long whoops fbsnbdns; if anyone else has anything they want to add though we’d love to hear it!
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writeroutoftime · 6 months ago
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our family
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pairing: tyler owens x fem!reader (requested by: @piratejakesgf)
summary: it's the first morning tyler is going back to storm chasing after the birth of your daughter and he finds he needs some reassurances in the nursey.
warnings: none (though not proofread lol)
words: 0.7k
a/n: oh my goodness, thank you for this request!! it was so sweet and fun to write! imagining this man as a father truly made me swoon! please enjoy!! 💕
oOoOo
The sun slowly began peaking over the skyline - a gentle nudge to those still asleep that morning was soon arriving. Not included in that group was Tyler Owens. Instead, he stood in the baby pink nursey, staring down in the crib at his seven-month-old daughter. His finger stroked over her soft cheek, memorizing every breath she took.
Tyler thought the moment he met and fell for you that his life was changed forever. But it changed all over ago seven months ago when he held his daughter for the first time. It was then that he knew nothing in his life was more important than being there for his two girls.
He could feel the anxiety building in his body the longer he stood and simply watched. Tyler knew that eventually he was going to have to tear himself away from her, from you, and get back out to chasing. And dep down, he truly was excited. To be back with his team, doing what he loved. But it all felt so much more complicated now.
He went through a similar spiral once 'I love you's' were shared between each other. It was so easy to go out in the middle of a damn tornado when there was no one waiting for him. And now there were two people who would be waiting to for him to make it home safely.
So wrapped up in his thoughts, Tyler didn't hear you shuffle into the nursey. It was only when you wrapped your arms around his frame and pressed your cheek against his sturdy back that he found himself relaxing the tiniest bit.
"Morning, darling." he whispered, letting go of the crib railings in favor of grasping your hands with his.
Your response of incoherent mumbles brought a much-needed smile to his face. Carefully, he untangled your limbs and turned you until your sleepy face met his green eyes. He titled his head forward so his forehead could rest against yours, soaking in this quiet moment.
"How you feeling today, cowboy?" you whispered, not wanting to shatter the bubble that encompassed you both.
Tyler sighed and stepped back so he could pull you into his chest. "I, I don't know if I'm being honest." he confessed. "Don't get me wrong, I'm excited to be back out with the team again, but..."
"But?" you prompted, offering Tyler a space to just think and talk with zero judgments.
"But, I also don't want to leave the two of you. I mean what if something happens here while I'm gone? O-or what if something happens to me while I'm out there?"
You took a moment to carefully craft your response. "I can't say that I won't be worried while you're out there. But that's nothing new. I know you're going to do everything in your power to come home to me - to us." you said, your voice firm.
"Of course I will." Tyler vowed
"Well, we'll be waiting for you when you come home. And that'll just mean the reunion is that much sweeter." you told him with a sly smile.
Greedily, you pushed forward until your lips met Tyler's chapped ones. He responded immediately and held you impossibly tighter. The kiss was long and full of passion, both of you expressing everything that couldn't be said. Love, passion, and promises of more early morning kisses to come.
You eventually pull away and swayed slightly in the nursey as Tyler still held you tightly. Though he felt more relaxed, you could tell there was something he was holding back. As gently as you could, you grasped his chin in your fingers and forced him to look at you.
"And, when you come back home, if it still doesn't feel right - we'll figure it out. We're always here for you, whatever it is you're going to do."
Tyler nodded, teeth caught on his lips as he tried to hold back his tears. "What would I do without you both?" he asked with a small laugh. And when he got into his truck and turned back to see you and your daughter waving goodbye to him, he knew he'd make it back to you whatever mother nature threw his way.
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alexanderwales · 4 months ago
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Everyone is born into a Genre, except for those poor souls who are destined to be side characters and bystanders, or occasionally taken hostage.
You were born to parents of different Genres, which was unthinkable a generation ago but now only raises a few judgmental eyebrows. Your father was a spy and your mother was a ninja, which is one of the more acceptable Genre pairings. There's crossover there, people understood it.
But when you were four, you first put on a cowboy hat, and it just felt right. Your parents were appalled. They didn't even know where the cowboy hat had come from.
You'd think, given the struggles they had in their own marriage and the prejudice they faced from the rest of the world, that they would be more understanding, but your father yanked the lasso you made from bedsheets away from you when you were eight years old, and your mother made you do throwing star drills in the family dojo for hours. You were horrible at it, and she blamed your father. Granted, you weren't any better at dodging laser tripwires.
Eventually you settled into dressing "normal". Dad and mom could pretend that it was a disguise, and it sort of was. Dad didn't wear his tuxedo everywhere, and mom only wore her shinobi shozoku when things were getting serious.
But then when you went to college you saw her, a coed walking across the quad in boots with spurs on them. Her blonde hair was in braids that stuck out from beneath her ten gallon hat. She was wearing chaps, and you followed after her like a puppy dog, trying not to be obvious about it but in retrospect being very obvious about it.
It was a rocky start. You made an awkward introduction, then she thought you were making fun of her when you started asking all kinds of questions. Western wasn't a popular Genre. It's time had come and gone. And even when she realized that you were serious, she was skittish, worried that you were interested for the wrong reasons, a Genre seeker.
Eventually she understood where you were coming from, that you were Western too, even if you didn't look like it, even if you didn't speak the language or have the skills.
One night, a week after you'd met, you asked her some innocuous question and she gave you a playful shove and called you a greenhorn. You felt your heart soar and a frission go across your skin. "Aw shucks," she said as you wiped away a happy tear, "Weren't nothin' but the truth."
From then on it was a blur of rodeos and saloons. You bought new clothes from the one general store they had in the city. You learned how to hogtie and cattle call. You ate beans around a campfire and then went to class the next day smelling like wood smoke and yearning for the wide open plains.
Going home felt itchy. It was too difficult to ignore how the clothes didn't feel quite right, and you wore flannel and jeans, on the edge of acceptability, flirting with the line. But you carried yourself differently too, and that was harder to disguise, especially since it was hard to remember the mask you'd been wearing.
One of these days you'll tell yours parents who you are, but there's a nagging feeling that they should have known all along, that they deprived you of a childhood that could have been happier if they hadn't tried to mold you into a version of them.
But until then, you'll guide your horse through town, moseying along, eating your vittles, and maybe with a cowgirl by your side.
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notiddygothgf · 1 year ago
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2/2
★ pairings: choso kamo x f!reader
★ synopsis: Yuuji Itadori truly was the best friend a girl like you could ask for, but he wasn't the only reason you came to visit. (His older brother, the devilishly handsome Choso Kamo, had always been the apple of your eye).
★ c.w.: slow burn, friends to lovers, eventual smut, childhood sweethearts, kinda, mutual pining, choso with a tongue piercing, rough sex, cunnilingus, backshots, unprotected sex, regular people au, two year age gap, PWP.
★ a/n: part two! its all smut lol. anyway, like I said, this one shot is finished (just split btw two chaps bc theres 11k words). but if u comment and persuade me who knows! I can always do another. im a whore for ur validation.
★ w.c.; 5k
best friend's brother ; chapter index
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YUUJI COOCHIE &lt;3
|  come over tn?
|  i got smth i wanna run by u first
YOU
|  omw.
You stood on Itadori’s porch, finger poised over the doorbell a month after your eighteenth birthday. You had been anticipating to see your best friend, Itadori. But as the door swings open, what you don’t expect is to come face to face with Itadori’s older brother.
Your heart drops, and your breath catches in your throat as you take in his appearance. It felt for a moment as if time had stood still since you last saw him. He had only grown more handsome during your time apart. His dark hair was done back into two messy buns, deep bags residing beneath his deep eyes. 
Choso looked absolutely breathtaking . His fitted black tee clung to his chest and arms, showing off his toned physique, while the baggy black sweats he was sporting gave him an effortlessly cool appearance.
His presence exudes a magnetic charm that takes you back to when you were 17. His half smirk sends a wonton shiver down your spine.
“Hey there,” He says, deep, rich voice sending ripples of familiarity throughout your body.
When his lips pull away from his teeth, forming syllables and words, you couldn’t help but notice a small glint of metal near the tip of his tongue. You realized immediately what had seemed so different about him, and your eyes widened in surprise.
“You pierced your tongue?” You blurt out, unable to hide your shock.
Choso nearly snorts, though his eyes never leave yours. “You’re not surprised to see me?” He teases.
“I am,” You retort quickly, trying to regain your composure. “You’re home for the holidays?”
He nods, gaze still fixed on your red face. “Just came home last night.”
That would explain why I didn’t see you, you thought.
“I’m glad you came, though, I’ve been holding onto your birthday gift for a while now,” He sighed, stepping aside to let you into the house but keeping his arm braced on the doorframe. 
You slide under his muscular arm, doing your best to ignore the way your body bristled with electricity when you brushed up against him.
You set your bag on the ground near the door, kicking off your shoes and neatly pushing them aside while Choso locked the door behind you. 
“It’s in my room,” he said, passing you.
You followed him nervously up the stairs into his bedroom, heart pounding a little louder with every step. This would be the first time you would find yourself alone in Choso’s room, and you couldn’t help but let your mind wander.
As you enter his bedroom, you drank in your surroundings – a rare sight. The room was a reflection of Choso’s personality; band tees all over the walls, sheets laid flat and clean, laundry sitting in a basket in a neat, folded pile – a subtle hint of organized chaos.
It felt both familiar and new at the same time. The air was thick with anticipation, and memories of your whirlwind summer fling with Choso came flooding back.
You brace your hands on the door. “Is Itadori home?” You ask him, hands tracing the doorframe while Choso rummaged through his drawer. You sat on his bed.
“Nah,” he replied casually.
Furrowing your brows, you tried to make sense of the situation. But told me to come over…
“Is he coming?” You tried again, voice tinged with uncertainty.
Choso rose up from the bedside drawer, extending a small box towards you with a slight grin. “Nope,” he said.
The realization hit you like a freight train. This was a fucking setup, and Itadori was the mastermind behind it all.
He wanted you alone with his brother. He knew about your fling with him. 
He didn’t notice when the two of you had disappeared to the pantry for ten minutes. 
Though the moment you returned to see him glancing at you with a curious brow raised, you knew he had finally caught on. Even if he didn’t say anything about it.
He knew.
He had set you up.
Your face was on fire. Still, you took the small box from Choso, an awkward smile on your face, and carefully undid the little bow. As you opened it, you revealed its contents – a tee shirt with Choso’s University crest on it, a glace pendant on a fabric necklace, and a box set of your favorite film saga.
Choso had never given you a gift for your birthday before, at least not anything beyond a card. Briefly, you wondered if it was his way of making up for your 18th birthday party, the one he had missed.
“Choso…” You began, a humorous grin on your lips. “Merch?”
He shrugged playfully, his gaze locked onto yours. “In case you miss me,” he replied, tone teasing yet sincere.
With a genuine smile, you leaned over and hugged him. “I love it,” you had told him.
Choso reached into the box for the necklace, gesturing for you to come closer. You leaned in, allowing him to loop the fabric over your head. His fingers brushed against your skin, your neck as he adjusted it.
He froze. You froze.
For a while, the room was quiet. There was an intense stare-off between you two. Choso cleared his throat, seemingly about to break the moment, but you had other plans. Gently, you gripped his chin between your index finger and your thumb, turning his head back to you. 
Gently, you tugged his lower lip down. He stuck his tongue out to wet the corner of his lips in return.
Your breath hitched as your gazes locked, and the air in the room shifted. Choso’s dark eyes shifted beneath your gaze, and you found yourself drawn closer to him.
You swallowed. “How bad did it hurt?” You asked, eyes fixed on the sliver of metal you had caught a glimpse of inside of his mouth.
Choso raised a finger towards his mouth, bringing your attention back to his tongue. “This?” He asked. “Hurt like a bitch, not gonna lie, but it healed up real nice.”
Wordlessly, he stuck his tongue out so you could see it up close. You examined it carefully – it really had healed up rather nicely. There was a small, silver ball wedged into the pink muscle. You wondered how it would feel on your lips, your neck, your body .
Choso closed his mouth. “I got it the first weekend after move-in day,” He explained.
“Why?” You inquired, curiosity finally getting the better of you.
He shrugged with a smirk, “Thought it would look hot. What do you think?”
“I think it looks like a pain in the ass,” You retorted. “Don’t any of the girls you kiss complain about that thing?”
“Quite the contrary,” he remarked, licking his lips. “Why’d you ask?”
You tried to ignore the jealousy that bubbled up inside of you, deep inside of you at the thought of him kissing other girls. You had to remind yourself who you were talking to here. You would have been naive to expect loyalty from a college freshman.
“Looks cold,” you commented instead. “I don’t imagine that would feel very good.”
And his eyes, those dark, beautiful cesspools of emotion, dropped down to your lips, lingering for a moment too long before returning to meet your gaze. “You wanna find out?” He asked.
“Piss off,” You scoffed, hitting him playfully on the shoulder. But the blush on your cheeks betrayed the effect his words had on you. “Fuckin’ tease.”
He didn’t move back. No, instead, he leaned in a little closer. “You sure?” He whispered, warm breath grazing the shell of your ear. “I can show you how good it feels, if you want.”
And that’s how you wound up here, with his face buried between your legs. He kissed his way up and down the skin of your thighs. You made quick work of his twin buns, tugging the ties out of his hair.
His lips curled into a knowing smirk. He lifted one of your legs onto his broad shoulder, running his tongue along the length of your inner thigh, pressing a kiss right where your ass met your legs. The metal ball on his tongue felt odd against your skin, but not necessarily unpleasurable.
You had never gone this far with him before. You were turned on beyond comprehension, hungry eyes drinking in the rosey hue that dusted his pale complexion while he sucked on your skin – hard enough for it to hurt, hard enough to leave a mark. 
Tenderly, Choso reached for your panties. He appeared to be on the precipice of a decision. 
“Can I…” He panted, trailing his thumb over the thin piece of fabric that separated the two of you. “Can I take these off?”
You nodded quickly, lifting your hips up for him while he guided the panties off of your legs. 
He licked his lips and parted your legs a second time, fully exposing you to his ravenous gaze. 
“You look like heaven,” He breathed out, voice trembling. He took a moment to admire you, smiling at the way you tried to hide your face. “Wanna taste…”
You had never done this before. The one man you had ever dared to hook up with hadn’t bothered. So you swallowed the lump in your throat, watching him get down on all fours and dip his head down between your legs like a man with his head bowed in worship. 
Though you were far from holy, in that moment, you felt like you were God.
His tongue was hot and wet against your skin, licking a stripe from bottom to top. The metal ball of his tongue piercing caught on your puffy clit, eliciting a quiet gasp. 
“Feel good, baby?” He teased, relishing in the way your thighs tensed around his head. His eyes flitted between you and your pussy – spread open for him like a buffet – pupils blown wide with desire. His pink lips parted around his tongue a second time, and this time you watched him.
Watched him press the metal ball against your clit, rolling over it in slow, steady circles.
You felt like you could die here. 
He adjusted his grip on your hips, pulling you down on the bed until you felt his nose pressing in between your folds. He kissed your heat, moaning into you.  Then, without so much as a warning, he began to eat you out like a starved man.
“Fuck, Cho–” You cried out for him, reaching down to tangle your fingers into his inky black tresses. You had never felt so good in your life, like he had been waiting for this as long as you had. You were sensitive, far too sensitive to comprehend the way your body felt, the way his tongue piercing felt as it glided over your hot flesh.
He didn’t slow down. He licked, slurped, and kissed your swollen clit, keeping that unforgiving pace up until your hips began to jump against his tongue.
“Shit,” You hissed,
He moaned into you in response, meeting your gaze with an intense fire burning behind his eyes. His tongue massaged you up to what you know would be the hardest orgasm of your life – that damn piece of metal made for one hell of a stimulant. It felt like it was pressing right up into your pressure points, deeper than his tongue was able to reach.
You felt yourself come apart at the seams, reduced to a moaning mess in a matter of minutes, riding his tongue like your life depended on it. He stopped moving for a moment, letting you grip him by the hair and ride his face. 
You couldn’t look away.
He looked amazing, fire burning behind his eyes, fingertips biting into the skin of your thighs, brows furrowed with concentration. His eyes never left yours, not even once.
You dropped your head onto the pillow, sitting back and allowing him to resume what he had been doing earlier – that thing with his tongue. 
And resume it he did, assuming a more demanding pace this time. It almost made you want to cry – the pace, the ball on his tongue – it was almost too much to bear. It felt so good.
You felt that familiar coil in your abdomen, almost like you were about to cum, then in a moment’s width he had pulled away. 
You struggled to regain your surroundings, vision cloudy and hazy with pleasure. You could hear your rampant heartbeat racing in your own ears. 
Choso leaned back with a stretch, cracking his neck and licking his lips. The entirebottom half of his face was drenched, dripping with an obscene mixture of your slick and his spit. 
He looked gorgeous, even when his face was tinted red. 
“Choso…” You breathed, letting a breathless chuckle slip between your parted lips.
He grinned back at you. “Any complaints?”
You didn’t glorify him with a response, gripping him by the fabric of his shirt and tugging him up and over you. You searched for his lips, locking them between yours in a messy, heated kiss. The taste of you lingered on his tongue, tangy and a little sweet.
“Shut up and fuck me, Kamo,” You panted with a grin of your own.
That was all he needed to push you onto your back, diving back in to ravage your lips again. It was all a rushed, passionate haze – he tugged your tee shirt over your head, you shoved your skirt down to your ankles and kicked it off the side of the bed. He leaned back with a stretch to reach for the back of his shirt, tugging it over his head and flinging it to the side. 
Your mouth nearly watered for him. He was everything you had dreamed of and so much more. Well defined arms, pecs, abs – a few tattoos littered the broad expanse of his chest. His torso tapered down into a thin, slutty waist. You let your hand slide down his abdomen, eliciting a quiet groan from him as your painted fingernails caught on his toned abs, ghosted over the large tent in his sweats that left nothing to the imagination. 
He was big. Bigger than you had anticipated. The last man you were with was about 3 inches (which was probably for the better, because it had been your first time). He felt about three times as big as that. Maybe more.
It didn’t take long for him to flip you onto your stomach, pulling your ass flush against his navel. He reached for a handful of your hair, jerking your head to the side, then uttered against your ear, “G’nna fuck that attitude right out’ta you.”
He left you for a moment while he undid the strings of his sweatpants. You couldn’t watch. You knew if you saw it, you would have doubts. 
But you found yourself looking back anyway, right as he had told you. “Wanna reach into that drawer and grab me a condom?”
“Are you um…” You swallowed. “You don’t have any diseases, do you?”
You knew you were clean because you were so disgusted by the man you had hooked up with before Choso that you’d taken yourself to the planned parenthood in town the day after to be tested. Even if you had used a condom.
Choso’s brow quirked up at that. “No, I don’t have any STDs. I get tested twice a year.”
Oh. Okay.
Again, you didn’t want to think about how many women had taken his dick before you. 
“Never gone raw before, though,” He mused quietly, hand rubbing mindless circles over the skin of your ass. 
“Really?” You asked.
“Is that a surprise?” He retorted, though he didn’t seem very hurt by your comment. “Can’t babytrap me.”
You thought about definitely didn’t think about Choso being a father. 
“Is there any way for you to, like…” You hummed, trailing off. Your inexperience had never been more disgustingly apparent. “Pull out?”
“You’re talking like this is your first time,” he laughed breathily.
You paused. His eyes widened.
“Is… this your first time?” He asked again.
“I had sex with this one guy from my class a while ago,” You said after an awkward silence. “He was small and, like, really bad at it.”
Choso seemed humored by your honest admission, though it came at the expense of your own embarrassment. “Why’d you go through with it, then?”
“I only did it to get back at you,” You turned your head back to the pillowcase below you. With a pout, you admitted, “Thought for some reason that by me having sex, I was proving something. I was younger and stupider, okay?”
“So… you’ve only had sex once?” He asked. You didn’t realize this was an interrogation. 
You nodded embarrasedly. Somehow this was more humiliating than being spread open for him like you were right now.
“You sure you want this?” He hummed, roaching forward to tuck your hair behind your ear. It was strangely intimate. When you nodded, he sighed. “We’ll go slow, then. I don’t wanna hurt you–”
“Don’t treat me like I’m fragile,” You cut him off, finally turning back to look at him. “I can take it, okay? Just answer the damn question.”
Choso leaned down over you, pinning you into the bed, kissing down your spine. “We can… do backshots,” he murmured against your skin. “Want that?”
“Mhm,” You sighed, easing into his touch.
You had waited far too long for this for something like a condom to get in between the two of you. You wanted to feel him. All of him. 
Choso rolled back, slipping his tip between your fold and swiping it through your slick. You watched him, watched the way he bit his lip at the sensation, eyes glued onto the place where you met him . 
He pursed his lips, letting spit fall from his lips. You watched it dribble down, landing right onto your twitching hole. 
That was so fucking hot .
Then, without a word of warning, he pushed the tip in. You gasped at the sudden intrusion, feeling the burn, the stretch of his girth inside of you. He paused for a moment when the tip was the only thing inside of you, brows drawn together, breaths shallow.
It took everything you had not to cry out in pain. You had been waiting your whole life for this.
But, shit, it hurt. He was big. You felt your body struggle to accommodate him.
Maybe some prep should have been in order…
Oh well, gotta see it through.
As if sensing your internal dilemma, Choso reached down, intertwining his fingers with yours. He placed a soft kiss to the back of your neck. 
“You okay?” He asked you.
No . Yes.
“Yeah,” You bit out. “Just… I ‘jus need a minute.”
“Just tell me when,” he pressed another kiss to your hot skin. “You’re doing so good.”
It took you a few more minutes to adjust to him. Every minute, he would slip in a little further, just enough to make your skin hot and flushed. You could feel him throbbing inside of you, throbbing against your spongy walls.
Eventually, you gave him the green light. And, fuck, it was like something inside of him had snapped. He slid the rest of the way in until his hips were flush with your ass. He drew out, slowly, then thrust back in again.
It felt like he was pulling you apart over and over again, snapping his hips against yours in a progressively harder fashion. 
Choso whimpered quitedly, pausing his harsh movements to change pace. You clenched around him in response, something that made him double over. “Ah, fuck,” He gasped. “You feel so fuckin’ good.”
He drew back, thrusting into you once more. You felt your whole body jolt forward with a loud moan of your own.
With wild, passionate eyes, Choso pulled out again, leaving just enough room for the tip. Then, he slammed back into you. Again, again, again – he was relishing in the way you cried into the pillow.
“Fuck, fuck,” You chanted, like some sort of sinful prayer. “ Fuck me, Cho– ”
“Might not last long if you keep callin’ my name like that,” He gasped, tangling a large hand into your messy tresses and gripping it tightly. 
You drew your brows together, allowing yourself to be lost in the pleasure, the attention he was giving you. What would Itadori think, you wondered, if he walked in on you like this – face down ass up in his big brother’s bed?
“Choso ,” You groaned into the pillow. It felt like he was scratching an itch deep inside of you – not your coochie, but your soul. It felt like you were made for this. “ Choso, Fuck. ”
Itadori slipped into his house with a quiet sigh. He kicked his shoes off, set his bag down on the floor, and then reached for his scarf. It had been one long, hellish day. He felt bad making you wait for him, but he didn’t doubt that you would have made yourself right at home in his bedroom by now. You were probably sprawled out over his bed, passed out or playing with his PS5.
He froze when he heard something come from upstairs. It sounded like furniture being moved around, or something like that. There were voices, too.
With knitted brows, he walked hesitantly towards the stairs. Was it coming from up there?
“Fuck, Choso,” He heard a vaguely familiar – albeit very muffled voice – moan. 
It was you. You and another muffled voice.
“Choso, Choso!” 
“Right there?”
“Fuck– yes! Don’t stop!”
He quirked a brow. Then, with a sigh and a dejected shake of his head, he hid away in the kitchen.
“Please!” You gasped, you fumbled around behind you in search of his hand. He grabbed it, pinning your arm behind your back and thrusting into your sore pussy from a new angle – one that made you feel dizzy. You didn’t know how long the two of you had been going at it. All you knew was that you never wanted it to end, that your mind was a blissful haze.
Your body slid up against the bedsheets – up and down, up and down, clenched fingers leaving wrinkles in their wake. 
“Fuck me harder,” You pled.
And fuck you harder he sure did. His chest rolled against your backside, pinning you into the mattress and holding you right where he wanted you. Then he fucked you a little harder.
You were all but screaming his name at that point. “Choso–” 
The head of his cock was bullying into you, beating against that spot deep within you that made your feet fly up, rubbing the back of his thighs as if to tell him ‘ keep going’.You gripped the sheets with unwarranted strength, feeling yourself drip and clench around him – hearing the obscene squelch you made when the two of you met in the middle. 
“ Fu-u-uck ,” You cried, voice high and weak.
“Quit suckin’ me in like that,” He chuckled, though it was cut short by a deep, guttural groan as you did it again. “ Shit , you want kids or somethin’?”
There was a knot in your stomach. A vaguely familiar warmth that seemed to only grow hotter by the second.
“ So perfect, so wet ,” Choso commended you, licking the shell of your ear, peppering butterfly kisses to the back of your neck. Your name fell out of his pretty lips between a cacophony of sinful noises.
You felt yourself get lost in him, craning your head around to take another look at him. His angelic face, scrunched up with pleasure, mouth hanging open just slightly, pale face dusted with pink. Inky black hair plastered to his forehead and neck with sweat. The muscles in his chest and torso rippled.
“I’ve wanted you…” You gasped, trying your best to articulate despite the stimulation he was giving you – it was almost too much. “Since I was young – fuck .”
His hips stuttered. He pulled your hair away from your neck, kissing the junction where your jaw met your neck. 
He gripped your hair to crane your head back, slowing his thrusts to long, deep strokes that had you trembling. 
“The feeling was mutual,” Choso grunted, trying to keep himself together.
You felt your eyes roll almost all the way back into your fucking head, mouth hanging open, drooling shamelessly on his pillow, his sheets.
You were close. So close.
Those deep, lust-filled eyes of him weren’t doing anything to slow the train that was coming. Each thrust, each slide of his cockhead against your g-spot brought you closer and closer to the edge.
“You feel even better than I imagined,” He growled, and you nearly came right then and there. 
He moved his hands so that your hips were up in the air for him, bringing his other arm around your neck to pin you there. When he picked up pace this time, you felt yourself drip – like, actually drip – all over him.
I wanna have his kids .
Your moans and pleas matched the pace of his sloppy thrusts. He was getting close, too. You could hear it. No, seriously, noises like that should have been criminal.
The feeling of being filled by him was driving you up the wall – almost as hard as he was currently driving you into the mattress. You never wanted it to end. 
But, shit, it was about to.
“Choso,” You whimpered. He didn’t slow down. “Think ‘m g’nna cum.”
“Yeah?” he gritted out, breath fanning over your neck and your cheek. He reached a hand down, releasing your neck to rub slow circles on your puffy clit – a speed that felt foreign compared to the harsh strokes he was giving you, but not entirely unwelcome.
That was all it took to have you hurling towards the edge, ass jumping up and down to meet his thrust in the middle, to take as much of him in as you possibly could.
“Yeah, shit,” He gasped. He was trying to hold on for you, but you were making it realhard. “G’nna cum for me, baby? Lemme fuckin’ hear it.”
You were all but throwing it back on him, mindlessly chasing your release like a bitch in heat. The moment you got the green light, your orgasm snapped. You cried out his name one final time, arching your back all the way into the sheets, spasming wildly around him. The shock tore through you in waves.
Your hips jolted with hypersensitivity while he fucked you through it.
Choso’s hips stuttered. He twitched, like he couldn’t take another minute of this, then he remarked, “That was so fuckin’ hot, holy shit – fuck, wait–”
He slid out of you rapidly, leaving you to gasp at the sudden loss of him. The next thing you know, he was stroking himself to completion. He came with a broken whimper of your name, spurting ropes of warm cum all over your back.
You took a moment to catch your breath. He did the same. A few moments, actually.
The silence that followed was deafening. He groaned, running a shaky hand through his hair. You collapsed into the bed.
He had left the bedside at one point, though only for a moment before he returned with a warm wash rag. He cleaned his love paint off of your spine.
Then, tossing the rag into his hamper, he collapsed next to you.
You chuckled breathlessly, throwing your arms around his neck and kissing him with all of the strength you had left in you (not much). “Shit…” 
“Shit,” he agreed, licking his lips. “You were great.”
“You were better,” You said. “I don’t think I’ll be able to walk home tonight, though.”
Choso shrugged. He reached down, pulling the covers over the two of you. “Sleep here, then.”
Sleep here.
You recalled many nights of him walking girls to the door. Choso never let girls stay the night.
He wants me to spend the night with hiim.
You laughed, reveling in the irony of it all. Years and years of pining led you here, to this. “What would Itadori think?”
Choso threw an arm over your waist, pulling you closer to his side. “Fuck what Itadori thinks.”
Your world went black a moment later.
Your eyes fluttered open as you lay in the aftermath of a steamy evening with the man of your dreams. Choso, your best friend’s brother. The one you had fucked.
His lips were pressed into the slightest pout. You watched him snore, taking note of how peaceful he looked while he slept, taking note of the way his tousled black hair fell into his pretty face.
With a contented sigh, you reached for a shirt that lay nearby – his shirt. The one he had taken off yesterday. You slipped out from beneath the covers, padding quietly out of Choso’s bedroom. Your feet were quiet against the wooden steps.
As you entered the living room space, you contemplated sneaking into the kitchen in search of some much-needed sustenance. It had to have been later in the afternoon at that point – you assumed that you and Choso had been sleeping for a few hours, at least. Your stomach grumbled in agreement.
Just as you were about to step into the familiar kitchen, however, you froze. There, sitting at the table, munching on a Kit Kat bar like it was no one’s business, was her best friend. 
Itadori.
“Hey…” You said rather awkwardly, heart racing. “You’re… you’re home.”
Itadori quirked a brow, looking you up and down curiously. His eyes noticeably lingered on your neck, right were you had a sneaking suspicion Choso had marked you with his lips and teeth. 
“Hey,” He finally said. “You two finally done up there?”
“You heard that. Of course you did,” You sighed, dropping your stiff arms and plopping into the stool next to him at the kitchen island. You faceplanted into the cold surface, groaning, “How much did you hear?”
“Enough to know my brother’s good in bed,” Itadori took another bite. He placed a heart over his chest, feigning an exaggerated cry of, “ Choso– oh, Choso, don’t stop, I’m cu–”
“He told me you weren’t coming home,” You groaned, even louder this time. You were glad that Itadori couldn’t see the nasty shade of red that had painted your features.
“He lied,” Your best friend chuckled, crumpling the wrapper of his Kit Kat bar and tossing it in the trash bin. He stood off, dusting his hands on his pants, reaching for his phone. Then, like nothing had happened, he said,  “I’m ordering Chinese. You want?”
You raised your head at that, taking a slow glance at the room around the two of you. “I could go for some beef and broccoli…”
You loved the bond you had with Yuuji. Unbreakable, truly. Sometimes a little toocomfortable. This was, undoubtedly, one of those times.
Itadori dialed a few numbers into his phone. He paused, raising his brow again, “I think you’ve had enough meat tonight, don’t you?”
“Shut the fuck up,” You sighed, though you laughed a bit at his joke. 
Images of Choso flashed through your mind. The image of him spitting on the tip before slipping it in. The image of him tangling a fist in your hair, craning your head back to look at him while he pounded you into the mattress.
With a faint smirk of your own, you remarked. “You’re probably right. I should save room for all of the meat I’m gonna be eatin’ tonight after you go to bed.”
“Please shut up,” Itadori sighed, running the palms of his hands over his exasperated face. With a shake of his head, he held the phone up to his ear. “I really don’t want to think about my brother putting his dick in you. Not while dinner is also in the question.”
You shrugged. Your phone buzzed. Turning it over, you read the new message you had received.
CHOSO    just now
Whered u go beautiful
Your phone chimed a second time.
CHOSO    just now
Steamed dumplings n fried rice plz
You turned the screen over with a grin, telling Itadori. “Your brother wants steamed dumplings and fried rice.”
“I’d say fuck my brother, but tonight’s game night and I don’t want you taking that literally,” Itadori sighed. Still, he unmuted himself, telling the woman on the other side of the phone, “Another order of fried rice and dumplings, too, please.”
Yuuji Itadori really was the best friend a girl like you could ask for.
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a/n: hi there my little steamed dumplins <33 lmk what u thought!!! I love reading ur comments and dms. again, this is a one shot, but I would totally drop another part if yall would like -- gotta show papa choso some love. comment and lmk what u think pookiesss
comments + reblogs are greatly appreciated!!
I obviously do not own jjk or anything related to it. please do not reproduce, copy, or translate my works anywhere. dont fk w me im a bruja.
taglist: @missphanosaur18 ,
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userlando · 1 year ago
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call me your fool — oscar piastri
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oscar piastri x fem!reader [1.7k] summary: he's pretty good at making your legs shake, but he's even better at taking care of you in the aftermath. warnings: 18+ implied smut & explicit language, aftercare and fluffy banter a/n: wrote this initially as a blurb, but it took on a life of its own and I just kept expanding on it until I got this. thank you for all the love lately, it means the world to me!! please don’t hesitate to leave feedback <3
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It feels like your breath has been stolen from you, sucking in air through your mouth because simply breathing through your nose isn’t enough. The ache in your lungs remind you of when you go for those intensive runs with your boyfriend, where your ten kilometre jogging makes you tap out as your side cramps, whining until he eventually leads you to the nearest shop to treat you for an ice cold drink.
The sweat on your skin lays like a film, clammy and warm and it takes a while for you to blink the spots away from your eyes. It takes even longer to turn your head where it lays on the pillow, finding brown eyes staring back at you with a smile dripping with so much amusement that you would’ve laughed if you had the strength to.
“You alright?” Oscar asks, like he hadn’t just rocked your world and simultaneously turned it upside down fifty times over.
There’s a lot to be said with the way your legs are shaking, splayed out in front of you on the bed. He eyes them up appreciatively before reaching for the covers to cover your lower half as best as he could. It makes your chest expand with adoration for him, a smile playing on your lips when he scoots closer to you.
“It feels like I’ve ran a marathon.” You reply after a beat, throat dry as you swallow. “Your stamina is on a whole new level right now.”
It makes him laugh when your eyes widen in amazement, reaching a hand up to smooth your hair away from your face. He watches your skin pebble at the touch of his hand, trailing a finger up the side of your throat to your jaw.
“The perks of being a formula one driver, I guess.” He says it so modestly that you laugh, your warm huff of breath hitting his finger when he thumbs your lower lip lovingly.
You accept the kiss when he bends to give it to you, a little chapped from the previous activities but you lick into his mouth like you’re starved. It makes Oscar’s stomach turn, how needy you always are for him. It makes him feel good. Great. Like he can conquer anything if he has you by his side.
He can’t help but trail his unoccupied hand up to grasp your throat, hearing you whine and feeling you swallow against the palm of his hand. You press into his hold, almost urging him silently to put pressure on it but Oscar knows that you’ve reached your limit for tonight, you’re way too sensitive and he’d hate to cross the line even though you’re asking for it so prettily. But he can’t resist his hand travelling down your sternum, feeling the pudge of your stomach and the way it dips when you suck it in, in anticipation. Like you’re waiting for him to touch your centre and bring you to the fifth high of the night.
He stops right over your bellybutton, smiling against your lips when you stop kissing him to glare. Your faces are too close and it makes the both of you go almost cross eyed. Oscar pulls back a little to get a better look at you, breath hitching in his throat at the way your eyelashes frame your eyes so prettily; How kissable your mouth looks. You look well and truly fucked, and Oscar’s chest inflates in pride because he did that.
“You’ve really missed me, huh?” He bites his bottom lip to keep the smug smile at bay, and you roll your eyes even though your mouth is twitching with a held back smile.
You act like you hadn’t missed him, but you really had. Granted, you’d only been away from each other for two weeks but they had felt like years. There was only so much video calling and texting you could do before you grew tired and sad, wishing that the distance between the two of you could lessen and you could touch.
Oscar knows how much you had missed him, not only because you’d voiced it out loud, but because he’d missed you just as much; If not more. That’s mainly why he’d skipped the dinner with the team in Singapore in favour of locking the both of you in his hotel room, determined to make the most of this night before the race sucked every ounce of energy from his body.
“Only one part of you.” You grinned as you palmed the top of his thigh, watching him squirm at your touch as you got dangerously close to where he was sensitive and spent.
He needed at least half an hour to recuperate, but there was no stopping the slight twitch in his groin when your thumb nudged him.
“You’re a shit liar.” He leaned his head down far enough to bite your shoulder, making you squeal with laughter. He always loved how ticklish you were.
“You’re a shit boyfriend.” You said with no heat behind it, the smile on your face defeated the purpose of it. “You’re supposed to be carrying me to the bathroom and draw me a bath. Where’s my bottle of water and the tiramisu you promised me, Piastri?”
Oscar’s smile grew wider the longer you rambled, watching you silently. He loved when you got into these moods, playful and teasing after sex. Especially when he’d wrung you dry of orgasms and could get his fill of you by looking at you, letting you playfully jab at him when just moments ago, you were begging for him to be nice to you. To let you come.
“You’re not allowed to leave this bed.” He said lastly and your eyebrows shot up in amusement.
“Oh really?” You sat up in bed and stared him down. “What if I starve to death?”
“Then you’ll just have to resort to cannibalism and eat me. I hear it’s a trend these days.” He offered and you stifled a giggle.
“That’s a generous offer, I’ll take it.” You said with a nod, scrambling to swipe away the covers so you could swing one leg over to straddle him.
Oscar’s hands immediately found your hips, placing them there as you palmed his chest for support. You almost got lost in his beauty, how he managed to look as gorgeous as he did beneath you. The pink of his cheeks and the redness of his lips, it was all too breathtaking.
“Now, where to start?” You posed the question to yourself, bending down and making a show of inspecting his body. Like you didn’t know every inch of it already.
Oscar suppressed laughter as you hummed.
“This looks like a good place.” You said, touching his collarbone. “But this does too.”
His breath hitched in his throat when your fingers stroked the delicate skin of his throat, right over his pulse. It jumped in excitement under your fingers, and you must’ve felt it but he didn’t have time to analyse your face before you bent down completely to mouth at his neck.
The way you licked and sucked was way too aggressive not to leave marks, but his nerves sang with pleasure and excitement because a big part of him wanted you to mark him up. It would make things more fun when the both of you arrived at the paddock tomorrow, and he’d surely go for a shirt that did fuck all to cover it.
Oscar stroked his hands up your naked back, mouth falling open in wordless pleasure as you found his sweet spot; Right under the lobe of his ear.
You were so into it, his heavy breathing in your ear and the taste of his sweat on your tongue that you barely noticed when one hand left your body. What you did react to was when his palm made contact with your asscheek, a resounding sound echoing in the room and you jumped at the contact.
Oscar was grinning when you sat up, eyes wide and mouth gaping in shock and he didn’t dare to blink as he gripped a handful of flesh in his palm; Watching your eyelids flutter in pleasure.
“No funny business.” He warned you and you opened your eyes to pout at him. “Don’t give me that look. I’m fucking spent and you are getting in the bathtub.”
“Aren’t you getting in with me?” You frowned sadly, finding one of his hands to grab.
He pulled it closer to his mouth and separated each finger to kiss the tips of them. The little loving gesture made your stomach tighten.
“I’ve got some room service to order, don’t I?” He smiled. “You wanted that tiramisu, no?”
You gave him a slow smile as you slid off his body, swinging both your legs over the edge of the bed and Oscar took a moment to stare at you. His eyes flitted from head to toe and you squirmed a little under his attention when he sucked his lips into his mouth; Like he was holding back on saying something.
He didn't have to say it though, everything was showing in his eyes and the flush that was creeping up his neck and blossoming gorgeously over his cheeks.
"I think I want a different kind of dessert." You said, stretching a hand out and wiggling your fingers dramatically.
It made your boyfriend smile, and eventually grab your hand so you could pull each other up. It was a struggle and your legs were still shaking like your legs were bambi on ice, which was a little embarrassing. Oscar placed both hands on your naked hips in silent support, guiding the both of you into the vast bathroom of the hotel room.
"What am I gonna do with you?" He asked the question in your ear, voice low enough to send shivers down your spine as you craned your neck to peer up at him over your shoulder. "So insatiable."
The grin that you were working to keep off your face finally broke out, and Oscar leaned his head down to press a kiss to it.
"With you? Always."
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xileonaaaa · 7 months ago
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What if you were mama-gumi?
Toji x reader | High school Trope 💕
*He’s not some hyper sexual animal, nor is he some brain dead killer. Sorry not sorry 😐
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Toji!Zenin who never showed up to school, and when he did, he’d almost always appear with nasty looking bruises all over his arms, and neck.
Toji!Zenin who happened to be your desk mate, but never seemed interested in working with you-on the days he would show up to school. (All he would really do is sleep through every single class.)
Toji!Zenin who never really made the effort to make friends with anyone, and always kept to himself. He was a real loner, and to you, he seemed content to be like that. Anyone who tried to converse with him would just get ignored, and if they persisted he’d just scoff and walk away. (This wasn’t exactly true, he just wasn’t the best at socializing, and couldn’t exactly be bothered trying to learn how to, either.)
Toji!Zenin who was a literal pain to work with. You both were assigned a big project and all he did for the most part was sleep, and on the occasion he was awake, girls from completely different classes would be asking him out. (You had to admit, it was funny to watch them read out their long, drawn out confessions of love, just to get told off by a grumpy Toji that had only raised his head because he had to use the bathroom.)
Toji!Zenin who began to feel a semblance of guilt as he watched you try and struggle to put together the project all on your own. (You’d tried to ask him a few times to help you, but like always you were ignored.)
Toji!Zenin who let that lingering feeling fall to the back of his mind, as his exhaustion overtook him, and he fell back asleep.
Toji!Zenin who secretly watched you through his bangs day, after day, as you tried your hardest to construct the model that the teacher had assigned to the two of you.
Toji!Zenin who let a chuckle escape his chapped lips when everything you’d built thus far came crashing down right before your very eyes, and it was all because you kept tampering with it.
Toji!Zenin who quickly stopped, and bit his tongue as he saw the tell-tale signs of you beginning to cry.
Toji!Zenin who abruptly stood up, and walked off the minute you began to bawl. You were so frustrated with him, and yourself you didn’t even know what to do anymore.
Toji!Zenin who returned not even a minute later, lightly tapping your cheek with some paper towels that he’d gotten from the teachers desk.
Toji!Zenin who didn’t even bother to look at you as you gazed up at him in awe, before taking the paper and hastily wiping away your tears.
Toji!Zenin who’d never admit it, but actually despised the idea of seeing you all sad, especially over something that was his own fault. You were a sweet girl, and in his opinion, a smile always looked best on your face.
Toji!Zenin who cleaned up your failed mess of a project all by himself, before taking his seat, and putting his head back down. (To you, it looked like he was just going back to sleep, but it was actually quite the opposite. He simply returned to silently watching you from behind his overgrown bangs.)
Toji!Zenin who couldn’t help but smile at your determination as you wiped away your tears and got up to get another board to restart the model.
Toji!Zenin who stayed with you even after the bell rang. The two of you hadn’t spoken a word to each other, as it kind of felt like you didn’t need to. The silence, and the sounds of you mapping out your new design were almost comforting to him. He really could stay here all day.
Toji!Zenin who listened as you kept on letting out deep puffs of air when you couldn’t get an angle right. Eventually, you got frustrated, and ended up storming off in the direction of what he guessed was the bathroom.
Toji!Zenin who chuckled to himself, before lifting his head, and carefully examining the piece you’d managed to build all by yourself. His eyes honed in on the piece that you couldn’t get to fit, and he took it upon himself to nudge it in place, stabilizing the entire structure. As much as he wanted to stay, and see your reaction, he’d get in trouble if he didn’t get home soon, so he left. (When you returned from your bathroom break, you were shocked to see that the structure could stand up all on its own. Toji was nowhere to be found, and you wondered if he was the one who fixed it for you.)
Toji!Zenin who continued secretly helping you whenever your back was turned, or when you’d leave the room entirely. He wished that he had the confidence to keep his head up whenever you were around, but he couldn’t help it. However, after your bathroom break one particular day, you were about to open the door to the classroom, but ended up pausing when you saw Toji completely focused, and honed in on adjusting your structure for you.
Toji!Zenin who knew you were watching him, and chose to let himself be seen. It had been hard keeping his head up, but he did it, because in all honesty, he felt like you were different. You radiated this sense of warmth, and comfort, something Toji had never felt before. He felt he could trust you, and who knows….maybe you’d be his first friend.
Toji!Zenin who couldn’t help but begin to bounce his leg when he heard the classroom door slide open, and your footsteps near closer, and closer to him.
Toji!Zenin who didn’t dare to look at you as you took your seat across from him, his hands shakily leaving the structure to fall beneath the desk.
Toji!Zenin who was grateful when you didn’t freak out, or start some overly sarcastic nonsense about his head being up for the first time ever. Instead, he watched as you slowly spun the figure around in awe, switching your gaze from him to it, then back to him again.
Toji!Zenin who nearly choked on his spit when he saw your smile directed at him as you thanked him, even praised him on his (hard??) work.
Toji!Zenin who went home feeling all bubbly inside, and for once not cursing his superhuman abilities.
Toji!Zenin who, after that day, started actively working with you after class, after everyone had long gone home. He felt the most comfortable when it was just the two of you, and from the looks of it, you seemed to catch on.
Toji!Zenin who, you noticed was really good with his hands. While you were clumsy, and barely paid attention to detail, Toji did just that. He was very perceptive when it came to pointing out faults in the structure, and you were better with putting every adjustment that was made to it into writing than he was. The two of you made a really good team, and it wasn’t a surprise when you both finished the project a week before the due date.
Toji!Zenin who felt a little bummed when the day came after the finishing touches, when you both turned in the project, and the report. (The ending grade was an above average A, so like a 102%)
Toji!Zenin who did his best to not let his sour mood show, as he ignored your attempt at a high five, and made his way back to his desk. It was over, the stupid project was over, so now you could leave him alone. Right? But, he didn’t want you to leave him alone. He didn’t understand why he was feeling so conflicted. He got an A, the highest grade he’s had this entire school year, he should be happy. But Toji wasn’t, in fact, he was afraid that the ending of the project meant the end of your little friendship.
Toji!Zenin who dwelt in his guilt for leaving you hanging with that high five, before he heard the lunch bell ring. Normally, he would’ve been the first one out of that class, but this time, he didn’t even bother to get up. He was missing his only meal for the day, but that was okay, he could just sleep the hunger off. He was used to it by now-
Toji!Zenin who nearly leapt out of his seat when he heard something clatter right next to his hypersensitive ear.
Toji!Zenin who raised his head to pitch the meanest glare he could muster at the culprit, only for his face to loose all tension, and mold into one of regret.
Toji!Zenin who didn’t even get to mouth an apology, before you shoved your tray in front of him, taking an apple off the side, and motioning for him to eat.
Toji!Zenin who felt his stomach rumble when he looked down and saw his favorite food on display for him. (He devoured said food in less than a minute.)
Toji!Zenin who listened as you told him about the teacher’s comments, and what she’d said about him actually participating in class activities for once. (He could only chuckle a bit at that.)
Toji!Zenin who felt a bit relieved that you didn’t hold his behavior towards you earlier, against him. (He still apologized, though.)
Toji!Zenin who nearly choked on his carton of milk when he heard you ask him if he wanted to hang out with you. (You quickly tried to rephrase your question when he didn’t answer right away, probably thinking that he took it as some sort of advancement on your part. But he didn’t, and inside his head, Toji was literally doing flips. He’d been hoping you’d ask him, but he never really thought you would. For all he knew, you only associated with him because you both had a project that was due, and you needed his help, but to see that you actually did want to be around him made Toji genuinely happy.)
Toji!Zenin who couldn’t even try to hold back the cheek burning smile that appeared on his face as he listened to you still trying to rephrase your question. (It was cute to see you flustered. You were cute.)
Toji!Zenin who, from that day forward, was attached to you by the hip. Wherever you went, he went, and vice versa. (There were many times people thought the two of you resembled a married old couple.)
Toji!Zenin who looked out for you, just as you did for him. (The two of you became best friends almost instantly.)
Toji!Zenin who would wait for you at the end of each class, just to walk to the next one together. (Sometimes you’d have to go to the bathroom, and he’d pack your bag, and wait outside for you.)
Toji!Zenin who started to adopt your habits the longer he spent with you. (For example, he actually started paying attention, and doing his work in class, even going so far as to studying with you.)
Toji!Zenin who became a totally different person, and rose to the top of the student ranks in record time. (He got pretty popular, even more so than he already was, but no matter how many people asked him to hangout, he turned them all down. After all, he didn’t need anyone else but you.)
Toji!Zenin who joined the wrestling team, and would always perform his best whenever you came to watch his practice, and do your homework while you waited to walk home together.
Toji!Zenin who genuinely cares for you, and can’t help but dote on you. (He’s had the biggest crush on you for ages, ever since you first smiled him.)
Toji!Zenin who stands a little closer to you in crowded assemblies to make sure the two of you don’t get separated. (If it’s outside and it’s sunny, he makes sure to always use his body to cast a shadow over you, allowing you some semblance of shade.)
Toji!Zenin who spends his free time over at your house, silently reading or playing games while you studied and did homework.
Toji!Zenin who is confused when you ask him why he never goes out partying with his teammates after a tournament one night. (He doesn’t really care about them, he prefers having dinner with you while watching some infuriating romance anime. He tells you just that. Spending time with you is more than enough for him.)
Toji!Zenin who is like a brick wall when it comes to temperature. He doesn’t get cold, nor hot very easily, but he always makes sure to bring a jacket or a scarf that he bought, just to keep you warm when it gets a little chilly.
Toji!Zenin who always goes to you seeking praise whenever he accomplishes something. (He’d never show it, but he’s always excited to show you something good that he’s done. He loves receiving praise from you.)
Toji!Zenin who is able to forget about how shitty his home life his whenever he’s with you. (You literally bring the light into his life, and he doesn’t know where he’d be if it weren’t for you.)
Toji!Zenin who vows to marry you when you both finish high school. He wouldn’t let you work a day in your life, and the two of you would have a nice family. (He often thinks about what life with you would be like. His closest, and only friend.)
Toji!Zenin who considers himself to be a pain in the ass, and someone who is selfish and cruel, but you make him feel good, you make him feel like his life is worth living, you bring out the utter best in him and for that, Toji will always love you.)
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potatomountain · 1 year ago
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"Case: It's You" Masterlist
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Pairing: Detective Reader x ot8 detective ateez
Genre: enemies to lovers, romance, eventual smut, dark themes, angst.
Synopsis: As a headstrong detective- forced to transfer to another Precinct after pushing your team, and superiors too far- your new unit is less than pleased by your presence. In fact, they are down right hostile, resulting in more time butting heads than doing your job: taking down the organized crime 'gangs' of your city. Once you finally get your foot in the door, into their circle, you realize you bit off more than you can chew- or maybe it was the perfect place for you.
Completed word count(excluding spinoff chap): 97,875
Chapters:
One | Two | Three | Four | Five |
Six | Seven | Eight | Nine | Ten |
Eleven | Twelve | Thirteen | Fourteen | Fifteen |
♡15.5- Spinoff bonus |♡ {wc: 1,824}
Sixteen | Seventeen | Eighteen | Nineteen | Twenty |
Twenty-one | Twenty-two | Twenty-three | Twenty-four | Twenty-five |
Twenty-six | Twenty-seven | Twenty-eight | Twenty-nine | Thirty
This book is finished! Book 2 coming early march!
Big shoutout to my beta readers that are currently the soul motivation for this fic and remind me to edit: @flurrys-creativity @candypop1611 and @daemour
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councilofcastamere · 9 months ago
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ADORNMENTS | AEMOND TARGARYEN X DAERON’S TWIN!READER
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a b r i d g e m e n t : your older brother Aemond loves to shower you with gifts. one day, you’ll pay him back.
TW: smut, targcest, oral (f receiving) penetration, riding, missionary, childhood love,
A/N: reblogs but most of all comments are immensely appreciated!
Aemond couldn’t remember the day when you drew your first breath alongside your twin brother, Daeron. All he knows is that the Gods had shined light upon him that day.
He had gotten blessed with the only one that could have ever drawn his attention like it did.
Like you did.
4-year-old Aemond witnessed the sunlight shining upon your face as Queen Alicent flaunted you in her arms, Daeron held in the King’s arms.
Your laughs could only be translated into melodies as they entered the prince’s ears. Your skin was almost porcelain and your eyes were peacefully closed. You were wrapped around the purple blanket as if you were a present.
His thoughts felt overpowered by a desire to hold you. He climbed up next to his Queen Mother and tugged on your blanket, signalling to hold the new blessing that came into his life.
“Aemond wishes to hold his new sister,” Alicent remarked, smiling as she looked down upon him. She very carefully positioned you into his small arms, staying close as to keep an eye.
“A family man, he will be.” the king laughed, very carefully swinging Daeron in his arms.
Aemond, ignoring the speaking of his parents, wrapped his small arms around your small body, regarding you as if you were a gem to keep in his palm. He held you closer to his chest, and brought his lips to your forehead, before hesitantly returning you to your mother.
And as you turned older, you grew only closer to him. It was as if he were your shadow, and you were his. You would do everything together.
He was infatuated with you, always opting to bring you your favourite pieces of jewelry, your favourite silk dresses and your favourite flowers.
Eventually, you shared your first kiss with him.
It was the hour of the owl, and you were holding a candle to your chest, waiting for the prince to sneak into your chambers. Your hair was tied up into braids, which made for a beautiful updo.
“Sister.” you heard a voice. it was Aemond’s.
But it didn’t sound all too delighted.
“Aemond?” you ask softly, observing him sitting on the edge of your bed. “What happened?”
He didn’t wish to tell you, but your angelic voice compelled him as if he was answering the gods.
“…they gave me a pig.” he murmured, passionately angry. his fists clenched at his side and he didn’t dare look you in the eye.
You knew what he meant. You always pitied having him watch you ride starfyre. You only prayed he could get one of his own.
You crawled over to him, his back facing you. You delicately rested your chin on his shoulder, placing a kiss on his cheek.
“If a dragon doesn’t like you, I don’t like a dragon,” you murmured, whispering into his ear. “You over any dragon, big brother.”
Just then, his head turned to you. His eyes flickered from your eyes to your lips. You felt your throat go dry, and you liked the feeling. You liked having him look at you like that.
You closed your eyes, and the second you did, you felt his slightly chapped lips on yours. You savoured the feelings for a couple of seconds, before attempting to brush your hair out of your face. His hand eventually came up to your rosy cheeks, cupping at your jaw, while your hands settled themselves on top of his unoccupied hand.
You very gently pulled away, smiling at his lips.
From that day on, it was sealed.
He was infatuated with you, always opting to bring you your favourite jewelries, your favourite silk dresses and your favourite flowers.
You loved it, and as you blossomed into a woman of age, you remained appreciative of his efforts.
But you wanted more. You wondered if he loved you so much, why hasn’t he bedded you yet? It made you insecure. What if the kisses mean nothing, and he only sees you as a sister, not good enough to bed?
You didn’t wish to come to conclusions, or accuse him of anything, but you only prayed you were able to ask him without feeling humiliated.
After all, what if he felt pressured after you asked him, and it won’t be as good?
You wrote all of your concerns down on a small paper, your quill clumsily spilling over some of the characters. You carefully folded it into a heart and left it under your pillow.
Which was a mistake.
Imagine Aemond’s shock when he came into your chambers to place your newest present under your pillow, only to find the paper.
Imagine his guilt as he reads how his little dragon has been feeling neglected.
And imagine his lust at your words, having everything you wished he’d do to you written down on the little paper.
You were inexperienced and some of the things made no sense, sure, but he got the idea of what you wished for.
So he did the only thing he knew how to do. Wait for a better time. He carefully stuffed the paper back under your pillow, and the present back in his hand.
With a swift turn, he departed your chambers, his golden locks cascading behind him. He’d have to make you see his love, sooner or later.
And that evening, you did not notice anything amiss when you strolled inside, your handmaidens at your side.
You opted for a pretty green dress, your hair beautifully done into a loose braid. You wore your green earrings to match your gown. Your nails were washed and clipped thoroughly, and you insisted on a clean bath before all of it.
“I’ll speak to you later!” you called out to your handmaiden as she left you in privacy. you always knew where Aemond would be waiting for you. you loved times like these, where you could dress that gorgeously only to be with your pretty big brother in your chambers.
You quickly settled on your bed, reading a small book Aemond got you from the Vale about different mountains. Aemond always knew what you liked, to your delight. You’d even wondered if he had any hidden presents here.
Time felt like an eternity as you waited for Aemond, and you began to doubt his arrival. Your eyelids began to close but you were insistent on waiting some more moments.
You tried to, but your slumber overtook you, and you ultimately lost yourself to the night.
Only then had he come in.
You had drifted up to slumber, your beautiful gown lifted past your hips. Silly girl, he thought, watching your glistening cunt spread out into the cold air. Your beautiful eyes were closed, hair sprawled all through your silken pillows, and soft sighs leaving your lips.
You looked so beautiful, the true image of Valyrian beauty.
His footsteps just forced him to close the proximity. It was out of his control.
And as you lost yourself in slumber, you missed the way his hands slid up and down your beautiful legs, lifting one as he pressed a kiss to the heel of your foot.
No, that wasn't enough. A kiss on the ankle will do.
Perhaps a kiss on the calf.
And he couldn't make any excuses any more, his lips hastily trailing up to your upper thighs, his hands hastily thrown over his shoulders. His mouth pressed an open kiss to your cunt, losing himself in the heavenly taste of your confined flesh.
You shifted slightly, your beautiful back arching as you let out a sleepy moan. Poor girl, you probably thought it was a dream. A mere reflection of the desire that occupied your mind.
Aemond was well aware of your feelings. Your beautiful gaze always drifted onto him, sitting on his lap as he read you a book about Valyrian gods, his clothed cock rubbing against your pretty clothed cunt every time you tried to read for yourself.
So, who was he to not reward you for your patience? His tongue gently penetrated your hole, licking all around the throbbing beauty. Your beautiful lips made the sweet melodic noises he'd soon become addicted to, his tongue poking your hole faster, causing you to squirm and your hips to buck into his face.
"Ae-amond?" you groggily whispered, gasping at the sight of him between your legs, his lips glistening with your juices.
"Hush, sweet sister," he replied, kissing all around your thighs and the lips of your cunt. "It feels... pleasurable, does it not?"
All you could do was nod, too tired and too riled up to fight your common sense. You cracked a smile, your feet gently pulling him closer as he kept ravishing your swollen hole.
"Aemy.." you whisper, bucking your hips. "What if mother comes to bid me goodnight?"
He hummed, his tongue working on devouring your pink delight. His hands squeeze both of your thighs.
"How much I do not care," he uttered, a hand rising to grope your soft breast. "I could die a happy death in between these legs."
"But then you wouldn't see me again." you chuckled, bucking your hips into his face. his smirk widened as his one eye trained on yours as if it was a hypnosis.
you cried out as his tongue lapped at your folds, quickly flipping the two of you so you could do it at a pace of your own. your hands gripped the headboard, and you brought yourself to move your hips as if it were a swing.
his eye was still on yours, and under your folds, you could still feel his smirk.
"ae-aemy." you pant, moving your hips in a circular motion. "I-I..."
"I know, sweet sister," he replied, gently lifting you off him. you whined at the loss of proximity and felt the cold air on your bare skin. "The best thing hasn't happened yet, however."
you could only manage whines and moans as he guided you backwards, your cunt moving from his mouth to his cock. your hands held on to his shoulder, your thumbs slightly pressing into the sides of his neck. you felt the warmth of his hands on your hip.
"Careful..." he warned, slowly easing you down on his cock. you felt the thick length slowly opening up your virgin hole, your face red with unease.
his eye flickered up to you, and he let out a smirk as you attempted to sink to his cock, his tip kissing your cervix.
his hands slid up from your thighs to your round ass, firmly massaging the skin. you looked at him, and pressed your lips to his as you let the feeling sink in.
“Do I start to move?” you murmured against his lips, face uneasy with pain. “It hurts, Aemy.”
“I know, my sweet.” he whispered against your lips, lips trailing across your jaw. “It hurts for a maiden’s first time.”
You nodded, and could only bite your lip as you slowly moved up, with his hands shifting to your hips, massaging circles into them.
Aemond only wished he could take it faster, to finally feel himself marking your womb as his. He had loved you for years and absolutely hated the fact you did not feel loved. At the end of the night, he decided, you would feel loved.
You slowly moved yourself back down, and you winced in pain. You locked eyes with Aemond, only to find his eyes closed. He pulled your body down to press your lips against him, your moans of pain muffled.
Your agony slowly began to dissipate into pleasure, and you could feel the prince’s soft moans as he thrusts his hips up, filling you up. You moaned in pleasure as you bounced, your hands on his chest.
His veiny hands reached up to your hair, undoing the hair your handmaidens had spent an eternity on. It allowed for your beautiful locks to cascade down, covering your pink nipples.
“Aemy…” you moaned, breathless gasps leaving your mouth as his skin slapped against yours, your round breasts bouncing a sight for sore eyes. “I-I love you. Too much. Only y-you.”
His eye snapped open at that, and he quickly flipped you two over, towering over you. His lips marked your neck as you writhed and arched. His hands groped your breasts, moving your hair out of the way.
“Shh, sweetness,” he whispered, his nose brushing against yours. “I know. I know.”
His large girth split you in half and had you gripping the sheets, your legs widening even more open.
He could only let out moans and groans, concentrating on filling you and making you feel pleasure.
“One day, we will do this to bear children,” he tells you, kissing along the side of your face. “You will become my wife, and always stay at my side.”
You could only smile, rolling your hips up.
“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” he asked with a slight grin, kissing your chest and collarbone. “Waiting on me each day, each night. Wrapped in my sheets and eager to welcome me.”
You nodded eagerly, his hands pushing your knees to your chest. Your face was red, with tears streaming down your beautiful eyes.
You panted and kept panting as you felt a knot tighten up in your stomach. You breathed heavily, your walls clenching around his length.
“Aemy!” you cried out, thrown between the sheets as you wildly threw your head back, hips bucking ferociously against him.
You bit your lip, face red and teary as you came close, holding him closer to you.
“Let it out,” he murmured, nose rubbing against your neck. “Listen to me.”
You obliged, and as the knot in your stomach snapped, sticky white juices came sprawling out, clenching around and milking his meat.
His eye rolled back at the feeling, and he let out some more thrusts, before slowing down immensely and pulling out, frowning at the loss of proximity.
“Sit still,” he ordered, and you did as he asked, while you felt your chest being painted with his creamy juices.
“Now…” he panted, pulling you to lie against his chest. “Do you still doubt my love? Do you still wish for me to prove my love?”
“Hm?” you shot up, heart jolting at his question. did he read the paper under your bed? gods, you could have died right there.
“Hm?” Aemond mimicked you, placing a finger under your chin and lifting it to make you look at him. “I don’t wish for you to ever doubt my love. Ever.”
You only nodded, kissing down his chest causing his heart to soften.
Aemond had finally bedded you, and you couldn’t wait to repeat it all.
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ohcaptains · 2 years ago
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don’t you dare fall in love. 
pairing. dealer college student! ellie williams x f! reader. 
synopsis. ellie tries her hardest not to mix business with pleasure. or, ellie gets a new customer and unfortunately falls in love with her.  warnings. 18+. drug dealing, references to anxiety, sexually explicit descriptions. eventual: smut, stalkerish behavior, violence, drunk/high kissing, homophobic behavior & slurs. 
an. trying my hand at dealer!ellie and it turned into a near eight thousand word fic. planning for this to be multi chap because i’m insane. please comment and reblog, it really makes the effort worth it<3 i hope u enjoy.
Mid-lecture, Ellie’s phone buzzes.
The girl next to her snaps to her in disgust, as if Ellie had smacked her with the device. The lecture hadn’t been all that interesting, anyway. Lord knows why this girl was so infuriated by a break from Johnathan Bailey’s spiel on eighteenth-century food prices.
Ellie hated this class. Professor Bailey had the innate ability to make History boring, when in High school, it had been one of Ellie’s favourite subjects. She was just thankful that she hadn’t picked it as her major, or she’d be gunning to change it.
Ellie leans forward towards the shared desk, and raises her eyebrows at the girl, as if to say, dude, before picking her phone up and unlocking it to a text from Dina.
Hey, expect a text from someone. I gave her your number.
As if on cue, the second phone she kept at the bottom of her bag buzzes. The girl shoots her another glare. Ellie chooses to ignore her. Glancing at the lecturer, she puts the phone under the desk and texts Dina back.
She cool?
Ellie only dealt to a select trustworthy few.
Three dots pop up, followed by: Yeah, she’s in my social studies class. She’s cool.
Then, almost immediately, another text, reading just: gay.
Ellie scoffs. The girl beside her flinches, and she nearly twists to her, asking what her problem is.
Thanks, she texts, deciding against it. She does glance up to the lecturer again, though, but he’s too busy talking about the famine to notice Ellie texting.
Not that it matters, she types.
Though, it sort of did. Ellie always had a weakness around pretty girls, which was incredibly bad for business. She always ended up with slashed prices and a broken heart. She wasn’t looking for new customers, especially pretty gay customers. Though Dina never usually did this, so she guesses the girl must be desperate. Ellie was a generous type. (Especially around pretty gay girls)
No? Dina responds, followed by a slew of side-eye emojis. Well, at least you’re supporting the community.
I supply to multiple communities Dina; my shop is very inclusive.
Whatever, she’s cute. And she’s single.
Ellie rolls her eyes, typing, Why don’t you get with her? and the three bubbles stay moving for a while, as Dina types and re-types her response. Finally, she settles on, Jesse and me are a thing again.
Ellie’s thumbs smash into the screen, When did that happen?
Last Ellie heard; they were on a break.
Last night, at the party you decided not to go to.
Dude, I had an essay to finish.
Whatever – anyway, this girl is cool, so be nice.
When the lecture ends, Ellie shrugs her laptop into her backpack, followed by a half-finished, bitten biro and her battered notebook. She slides the spare phone out, thumbing the smashed screen and slipping it into her back pocket. When she leaves the hall and starts walking through campus, she pulls the phone out.  
Hey! Dina gave me your number. She said I can buy from you?
Then, a minute later. Or we can go through Dina if you’re more comfy with that, idm !!!
Ellie sniffs a smile. She always preferred selling to girls – they were nicer than the gross frat boys she used to sell to. Even if she did grow attached. In first year, she used to sell out of her Dorm. Used to sell to anyone, really – nearly got caught by campus security. If it wasn’t for Dina stashing her shit, she’d probably still be in jail right now. Now, she kept a low profile.
She trusted Dina’s word – if she said a customer was cool, they were cool.
No, she types. This is cool. Who sold to you before? Then, or is this a first?
About a minute later, her phone buzzes again. No, you’re not my first lol.
Ellie scoffs a laugh, shaking her head at herself. She makes her way to the library, pushing her headphones on. Another buzz, Guy I used to use started getting weird.
She frowns, typing, From campus?  
Yeah :/ think he fell in love with me or something.
Ellie slots her ID over the gates of the library and pushes in.
Mindlessly, she types, Promise I won’t fall in love with you. Bad for business.
In the back of her head, she thinks, please don’t be really pretty and funny. Please don’t be really pretty and funny. She reaches her usual table – hidden away under a closed-off stairwell in a quiet subsection – and dumps her bag on the desk, pulling her jacket off. Her phone buzzes again.
Lol, please don’t. Too much hassle finding someone new to buy from. Everything was cool until he started putting love notes in the bags.
She’s typing immediately, Whaaaaaat?
She suddenly feels bad. This girl didn’t need another creepy dealer falling for her.
Yeah:/
Sorry that happened, that’s not cool.
Thank you:) Anyway, yeah – is it cool to pick up?
Ellie pauses. She chews on her bottom lip – a nervous habit she’s yet to break – and types, I don’t have anything with me.
:(
Pushing her lips together, Ellie thinks to herself. She comes to a quick conclusion, hoping and begging that it doesn’t blow up in her face.
You on campus? She asks.
Yeah.
Meet me at the library if u wanna.
Yeah? Three good?
She checks her watch – 1:30. Enough time to finish the history assignment she was procrastinating.
Yeah, she types, throwing her battered phone to the table before pulling out her laptop. The device buzzes again. She glances at it.
You’re a lifesaver<3
 At three, Ellie texts back.
Coming now, lmk when you’re there.
Already here:) on the benches. Pink backpack.  
Ellie spots the backpack, and then spots you. You’re sitting on the bench, leg over the over, and scrolling on your phone. Casual black pants cling to your legs, riding up your thighs, resting tight around your hips, where you’d haphazardly tucked in a blue loose tank. The arm holes are jagged, and as you move, Ellie sees the band of your black bra, and the smooth skin beneath.
She pauses in the doorway, getting a good look, but also getting in the way of a guy trying to get in.
“Dude—” he juts, and Ellie spits a curse, hands up in apology. When she turns back to you, you’re already looking at her. Curious eyes take her in. Down-turned brows, pursed lips, and you lick them, smoothing your hand over your knee. You scan her, trying to figure out if it's her, Ellie guesses, and she goes hot under your gaze, all too aware of her limbs as she walks towards you.
“Ellie?” you ask, squinting up at her. Your hand comes up to shield your eyes from the sun. Ellie ignores how cute you look with your features scrunched together. Professional, she tells herself.
God, she is pretty.  
She tries to look casual. Throws in a nonchalant shrug. “Yeah, that’s me. “ She nods to you, managing to school her features. “Dina didn’t tell me your name.” “Oh yeah,” you say, introducing yourself. You get up from the bench, slinging your bag over your shoulder. Ellie sees the baby blue water bottle peeking out of the side pocket. She registers that you’ve matched your water bottle to your outfit and decides it's best to ignore the resulting fizz in her belly.
As you move, she’s cloaked in a cloud of citrus. Jesus fuck okay. She breathes in deep through her nose, getting another whiff of your perfume. She steps back, trying to get away from the intoxicating scent. Jabs a thumb in the direction out of campus. Thinks, let's get this over with.
“I gotta go to my apartment to get it, you cool with that?”
You nod, seemingly agreeing, but she notices you picking at your nails. The air changes a little, humming with electricity as nerves suddenly wash off you. She doesn’t know why – she isn’t all that scary. Though, she guesses, she is when she’s trying to be serious. She unclenches her jaw.
She turns to go, but you don’t move. “Err, your apartment far?”
Ellie pauses, “Ten-minute walk.” You stay planted to the spot. She raises a brow, “Or we can meet later? If you’re more comfortable with that?”
You smile softly, thankful. Still, you shake your head – “No, got work to do. Kinda need it now.”
Ellie looks you over. Her eyes are curious – she takes in the anxious rubbing of your palms, and the chewing of your lip.
Her eyes turn to slits, and she nods to you.
“You okay?” “Yeah – “you burst suddenly, laughing. “Sorry. Um. Not trying to spook you, I’m not a cop.” “That’s what a cop would say.” “Yeah, figured you say that” you laugh, taking a shaky breath in. Ellie watches you splay your hands out, “I get anxious around due dates. Got a few soon, so need something to calm my nerves.”
A small smile plays on Ellie’s lips. “So not a cop then?” she jokes, and you lose that nervous frown for a split second. She watches your whole face change, and Ellie’s two seconds away from telling you where her stash is, just to permanently rid you of that anxious dip in your brow you once wore.
Whoa there, Ellie. She thinks, reigning herself in. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. She looks around, itching her neck, “Err, so what did you need?” “Just an eighth, I have my own skins and stuff. You got purple Kush?” “Yeah,” she nods, turning to leave, “follow me.”
You trail after her, catching up with a bounce.
The beginning of the walk is quiet. Not awkward, but not comfortable, either. Ellie’s too busy fighting the urge to glance down at you. When you finally leave Campus and get onto the main road, she turns to you.
“So, when’d you mean Dina?”
You glance up, startled out of a daydream. “Um,” you hum, thinking back. “Last year, at the LGBT society.”
Your eyes flick curiously to her, and Ellie wonders if Dina told you that she liked girls, too. She feels the sudden need to tell you.
“I went to a few of those meetings,” she tries to casually add, feeling her heart pick up speed, that familiar nerve of coming out swelling in her chest. Didn’t matter how many times she did it – pushing herself over that hill always made her palms sweat.
You smile softly, and Ellie tries to decipher it. Interested? Curious? She feels suddenly too close, like she should step away. She speeds up, and your arm brushes against hers as you catch up.
“Oh yeah?” you ask, this new shared thing dispelling your anxiety. You walk backwards, a little excited. Ellie likes this new bouncy you. You’re too pretty like this to waste time being anxious. You cock your head to the side, “Maybe we saw each other there.”
Ellie shakes her head. “I only went to a couple, plus if I saw you, I think I would have remembered.”
Your eyes widen an inch, mouth opening, features twisting in surprise. Ellie’s cheeks bloom red.  
“Fuck, sorry –,” she starts, shaking her head, “--that was inappropriate.” Your arm brushes against hers again as you move to walk beside her, and a metaphoric, cliché flicker shudders through her skin. You hitch your backpack up, “I’ll choose to believe you’re just very friendly.”
A laugh sparks out of her. She itches her forearm, and she notices your eyes flick down to her tattoo. “So, err –“she starts, tugging her jacket back down, “Dina?” “Yeah. We met there and had a few classes together. Only really spoke properly this year. She’s cool.” “She is.” You smile, “Said you were cool, too.” Ellie nods, “I am, not as cool as her though.” “You two used to be a thing or?”
Ellie glances down at you. You put your hands up. “I get to ask something inappropriate after your comment.” She rolls her eyes, but burgundy silently agrees. “No – we didn’t. Nearly. But it was silly. Think we just figured that cause we were the only queer girls we knew that we should be together.” “Jesus, I know all about that.” “Yeah, confusing.” “Now she’s with Jesse, no?” “Yeah – back together. But we’ll see how long that lasts.”
Ellie hears herself. She snaps to you, “don’t tell her I said that.” You pull your lips into your mouth, smiling. Why did she say that? She loves Jesse and Dina together. 
The fuck is happening? Why is she vomiting the truth like you’ve put some sort of spell on her? She just found out your name, for Christ’s sake.
“So, you don’t go to any more meetings?” she quirks, squinting into the distance. “No, it fizzled out. When I went, everyone kinda knew each other, now it’s just freshmen. At first, I thought it would be an easy place to find a girlfriend, but—” you shrug, “—turns out they were already with each other.”
Ellie laughs softly, silently agreeing. She had thought the same at the beginning. Newly out after the hell of Highschool, she was ready to meet the girl of her dreams. Ended up getting the worse heartbreak of her life.
Well, second worse.
“So, no girlfriend?” You shake your head. “Too busy, anyway. As much as I’d love a cute girl to cuddle with at night, my plates kinda full at the moment.”
Ellie briefly imagines being the cute girl you cuddle with at night. She’s too busy thinking about it, that she nearly doesn’t hear you when you ask, “So, what’re you studying?”
Small talk, Ellie can do this.   “Physics.” Your eyes widen, “Physics? Christ.” “Yeah,” she laughs, knowing that would be the response. Ellie’s casual demeanour and tatted state didn’t really scream, Physics student with a minor in Astrophysics. Plus, she sold weed out of her apartment. Smart girls didn’t do that. Or they did, and Ellie wasn’t giving herself enough credit.
“But I have to take a lot of elective classes to keep my scholarship.” “Scholarship?” you ask, glancing at her. “Smart girl then.”
Ellie goes beat red. Her palms go tingly. You must be a mind reader.
“Er, I guess?” she manages. “Um – what about you? What’re you studying?”
Ellie listens to your spiel. She didn’t think finding out about someone’s academics would be so interesting, but Ellie hangs onto every word. Finds out you work at the campus bookshop, and she’s already planning her next trip. 
She watches your mannerisms, watches you speak with your hands – watches your smile build and change, face squinting from the Jackson sun.
When she gets to her apartment, she’s filled with sudden disappointment.
“This is me,” she signals, pulling out her key. “You want me to wait down here?” you ask politely. Ellie looks over her shoulder, shaking her head. “You’re good. I trust Dina.” “So, you trust me too, then?” you grin, winking, and Ellie’s so blinded by it that she misses the lock. She huffs a laugh, “funny girl.” “I know – “then you grin, teeth chewing on your bottom lip. “Cute, too.” Ellie chuckles, still trying to put the key in the goddamn lock. “Confident as well.” “Confident, polite,” you list, hands behind your back, bouncing from left to right. “Anxious?” Ellie jokes and your eyes widen, mouth open. “Hey!” you scoff. “Don’t make me give you a bad review.” “Wouldn’t want that—fuck sake, why can’t I…” “Need help?” “No, thank you. I can unlock my own door.”
Can she, though? Her hands are so sweaty that the key keeps on slipping. Finally, she unlocks it. “Fucking finally.”
She pushes the door open, motioning for you to walk in front of her. You pass by her with thanks, and Ellie watches the back of you as you start climbing the stairs.
What was it Dina said? Cute, cool, and single. Ellie’s add nice ass to the list.
Don’t be gross, Ellie, her subconscious suddenly sneers. She tries to look away. Eventually, she does, but you stop moving, and Ellie’s nearly colliding with it.
“Which floor is it?” you ask suddenly, turning over your shoulder. You glance down at her, and Ellie blinks up at you, cheeks red, hoping and begging you didn’t notice where her eyes just were.
“Er, two,” she mutters.
You carry on climbing. Ellie feels a little like a gross dude, and she spends the entire journey trying to rid herself of that sickly feeling. After a few minutes, you get to her apartment, and Ellie manages to unlock it on the first try. But when she opens the door, she panics. Her apartment is a state. She turns suddenly, meeting your confused eyes.
“Um, stay there, I gotta sort some shit out,” and she ducks behind the door. Your voice calls out from behind the door, “I’m not gonna judge, mines probably worse.”
Ellie starts throwing stuff around, hiding it under tables and in cupboards. Thankfully, her living room isn’t as bad as her bedroom.  
Ellie’s speaking. Doesn’t know what she’s saying until she’s said it, “that’s probably incorrect; your water bottle matches your outfit.” There’s a pause before you quirk, “You noticed that?”
Ellie pauses. She scrambles for an explanation, “Er, yeah. I have really good eyesight.” “Right.” “Yeah, twenty-twenty--“she throws an Overwatch plushie behind the sofa, finishing her sentence, “—vision.” Ellie yanks the door open. She finds you patiently leaning against the wall, playing with your nails. Your backpack is on the floor between your legs, and you curiously glance up at her.
“Done?” you ask politely, voice soft.
Ellie’s cool. Well, she likes to think so, anyway. Likes to think that she’s chill. Laid back. Cool as a cucumber. However, there is nothing chill about the sudden panic that blooms in her chest upon the mere idea of you walking into her apartment. Ellie nods, cool and chill and so laid back she’s boneless. “Yeah – just don’t look at the kitchen.” “Course,” you giggle. You sling your backpack over your shoulder and follow her in, arm unintentionally brushing across her chest. Ellie leans back, ignoring the weird warmth that buzzed from your touch. She closes the door, turning to find you standing in the middle of her living room, looking around.
“Um—” she starts, grabbing your attention. She walks towards the small hallway, rubbing her sweaty palms on her jeans. “--take a seat. Lemme –” and she jabs a thumb behind her. You nod, smiling – always with that soft, polite smile – as you plop down on her sofa.
Ellie basically runs away.
When she reaches her bedroom, she leans against her closed door, facing the ceiling. She takes a few rescue breaths. Suddenly warm, she shrugs off her jacket and dumps it on her bed as she fumbles for her secret stash. 
Just a girl. She mumbles to herself, looking through the pre-made bags. Just a girljustagirl, justagirl. 
She’s itching to call Dina. Pick up the phone and tell her that she can’t see you again. That she’s made a grave mistake. Actually, this isn’t gonna work out. You’re cute and all but. Ellie stops. She pinches the brim of her nose. That’s it. You’re just cute. Why’s she being so silly?
When she walks into the living room, you’re sitting snugly on her sofa, scrolling on your phone. Ellie wants to run away again.
You see her and lock your phone, smiling. “Hey.” “Hey – eighth, right? Purple kush? You don’t need it rolled?” “No – I’m okay. Thank you, though.” “Yeah, no worries.”
Immediately, you reach for your purse. Ellie realises that you have to pay. How the fuck has she forgotten the most important part of this whole deal?
She mentally smacks herself in the face.
“Dina didn’t tell me how much,” you smile, expectant. Ellie rattles off her prices, and you swap. She shoves the money into her back pocket and sees you opening your backpack. You pull out a medium-sized white case. Ellie thinks nothing of it – probably somewhere you store your weed, so your bag didn’t end up stinking of it.
But when you pop the box open and stuff the bag inside, she sees the faded imprint of Hello Kitty on the side.
“Oh my god,” she laughs, and you put your hand up, knowing exactly what she’s laughing at. “No judgement, okay? It does the job.” “No, it’s –” she rubs her chin, “it’s cute.” You make a face at her, “It is cute, actually.” “It’s sweet. I’m sorry I laughed.”
You push it into your bag and zip it up, throwing it on your back. You grin, and it’s God Damn adorable, “You’re forgiven.”
Ellie flicks her gaze to your mouth and slowly loses all sense of reality. There’s a moment where she registers that she has to say something, you know – speak. But watching the way your teeth tug at your bottom lip seems far more interesting, and useful, too.
“Um – I should,” you start, motioning behind you. “Yeah fuck, err,” Ellie stutters, snapping out of it. She laughs to dispel the nerves, and you’re both awkwardly laughing, flushed and nervous.
When you’re out of the door, Ellie watches you leave. She leans on the frame and finds herself fighting the urge to say something. Turns out she doesn’t have the energy to fight very hard.
“Better than the last guy?” she quirks, pulling her arms under her chest. You twist, beaming, “Oh – you have no idea. He dealt out the back of the cafeteria, smelt like old socks and cabbage.” Ellie frowns. “Mike?” she asks, knowing exactly who you were buying from. Your features widen in recognition, “Yeah! You know him?” “Yeah – he’s fucking weird. Creepy. Doesn’t surprise me he was leaving notes in the bags.” Ellie shakes her head, then nods to you. Her smile goes friendly. Twists into her cheek, “promise there’s no love notes in that bag, only weed.” You walk backwards, grinning. Suddenly, your features turn playful, and you chew on your bottom lip, squinting, “Awh, think I was kinda hoping for a love note.” Ellie's heart stops. Her eyes widen, and a rush of adrenaline hits her. She wonders if she heard you correctly, then yeah – you definitely said that. She goes to respond – reaches for something witty and cute to respond back with, but when she opens her mouth, no words come out. She manages to make a small, pitiful choke, and you giggle at her.
Ellie melts. “See ya,” you call out. Your voice echoes through the hallway as you descend.
The puddle that is Ellie rests in the frame for a second before she finds the willpower to scoop herself off of the floor and scramble inside, grabbing for her phone. Dina answers, voice groggy.
“Hello?” she groans, a serious attitude in her tone. Ellie ignores it -- doesn’t hear it, really. Too busy hearing the echo of your giggle as you turned her into soup. “Dina, what the fuck,” she spits.
The ghost of your perfume is still in her living room -- orange and grapefruit. “What?” Dina sneers. “You didn’t tell me she looked like that!” There’s a beat where Dina catches up, “Like what?” “Cute!” “Oh,” she pauses. “Wait, yeah I did.” “Yes but, like -- fuck.”
Ellie can’t think. She must have left some of her brain cells on the hallway floor. “Really cute,” she manages. She starts to spiral.
“She was really polite, too. Like, smiley and polite and was like, no worries! And I literally – I literally forgot that she had to pay, Dina. She pulled her purse out and was like, oh yeah.” “Jesus Christ.” “Then she started talking about her old dealer who was really weird—” “Yeah, Mike. She told me about the love notes.” “Yes! Yeah!” she nearly yells. “When she left, I jokingly went ‘don’t worry, there’s no love notes, only weed.’ And she fucking—” she smacks her forehead, “--fucking said, Awh, I was kinda hoping for a love note.”
There’s silence on the other line. Then a resounding, “Oh.” “Yes,” Ellie agrees. “Oh, exactly. I nearly pissed myself, Dina. I stood there, completely silent, staring at her like a weirdo. Please tell me she’s like that with everyone.” “No, she’s quite reserved, actually. Quiet – Ellie, what have you done to my sweet, innocent girl?”
Ellie paces in her living room. The speed makes your perfume swirl, and she has to open a window to think straight. The cool air hits her flushed face, settling her swarming nerves. She breathes in the fresh scent, heart rattling. Her fingers are numb.
“I’m having a gay panic attack and it’s all your fault.” Dina barks a laugh, saying, “If it’s that bad, just say you can’t deal to her anymore,” and Ellie’s silent. Contemplative. Dina knows exactly what she’s thinking. “But you won’t do that, because you’re basically in love with her already.” “Din, she had a Hello Kitty weed box. Like – “she closes her eyes, and whispers, “what the fuck?” Dina turns sarcastic, “Oh no, not the Hello Kitty weed box.” “Not funny, Dina. Really think she’s the love of my life.”
She plops onto the sofa. Dina speaks, “Should I start calling the U-Haul?” Ellie scoffs, “Shut up.” She fiddles with the fabric of her couch, running her fingers across the seams, and then slipping them between the cushions. She encounters something small and hard. “—the hell?” she mutters, pulling it out. She blinks at it. “Oh my god.” “What?”
Ellie holds the stick into the light, reading the bright label. “She left her lip-gloss here.” “Oh, would you look at that. She’s moving in already.”
The lip gloss sits on Ellie’s coffee table for days before she plucks up the courage to text you.
Holding the stick to a particularly clean part of her living room, she takes a snap of it, before sending it to you with, Hey, this yours? and throwing her phone at her sofa cushions, rushing into her bedroom as if it were a bomb.
When she thinks it’s safe to come out, it’s been an hour. 
She’s even managed to forget that she’s texted you, so when she picks her battered phone up and sees a response from you, she thinks, Oh my God, she’s made the first move. Disappointment and a tinge of shame flood her when she realises.
LOOOL, yes, that’s mine, you text, then, Imagine if it wasn’t.
Ellie goes to say, oh no, apart from Dina, you’re the only girl I’m dealing to, but it would be easier if she just wrote I AM SINGLE! on a flag and planted it outside her apartment.
She manages, lol.
Sorry, must have dropped it. Kay if I get it next time I pick up?
Ellie’s heart clenches. She has to start taking turns of her apartment like an Austen protagonist to stop herself from short-circuiting from energy overload. She texts, Yeah, that’s chill.
You sure you don’t want it? think that colour would suit you:)
Ellie smirks, more of a ChapStick girl.
I guessed that.
Her face twists, pausing. What does that mean? She responds.
I wasn’t trying to insult you!!! Just. The baggy clothes. Flannel shirt. Ellie’s texting, thumbs smashing as she responds with, It’s not flannel, just a shirt. Your three bubbles pop up, ohhhh right right, sorry sorry.
Ellie should have left it. Should have gone, well, that’ll be the extent of our flirty banter. But she’s writing, I can’t believe you’re calling me a chapstick lesbian rn. Your response is immediate, Nah uh, you said that! I implied it. No weed for you, Ellie lies. Nooooooo, pls don’t make me go back to Mike. Your own fault. Hope you like ravioli cause that’s what the cafeteria had for lunch! :((((((((( don’t be a meanie!!!!!
Okay, maybe you’re forgiven.
Weeks pass, and you come, and you go. Ellie tries to keep things casual. Professional. Still, she cannot help the excitement that floods when she gets a text from her busted phone.
Hey:) you’d text, I’m tryna buy tonight if you’re available!!
She reads into your messages, thinking, she must like me, she used two exclamation marks. Two!
She gets silly and dumb with it. Overthinks your interactions. Overthinks the brush of your fingers when you took your Lip-gloss from her.
Usually, she’d have the stuff ready at the door, but now she’s finding herself inviting you in, and then sorting the bag, so she could be around you longer.
She starts remembering your outfits, for fucks sake.
Holds onto every little comment you make.
Overthinks every time you brush past her, or every time she opens her front door to you.
Sometimes, she dreams about it -- just the revolving images of her door opening, revealing you behind it. You’re wearing the same bright, excitable smile, every time.
In a particularly low moment, she found herself in CVS at the perfume counter, smelling different samples, trying to figure out what scent you were wearing when you first met.
She doesn’t tell Dina that. She does, however, tell her everything else.  
When she sees you around campus, her day is immediately made. She doesn’t ignore you like she does with her other customers, no. She says hi. Sees you at a coffee shop, waiting for your order, and says, “Hey.”
You grin, genuine happiness on your face from seeing her. “Hey you.”
Ellie thinks about it for weeks. Dina hears about it for days.
“She said hey you, Dina.” “I know, Ellie. You told me yesterday.”
You’re polite, a little flirty, but Ellie thinks it’s just…no. She does think you like her, but she won’t let herself think it’s anything more than friendly. It’s just business.
Then she gets a text.
Ellie’s at Dina's, half watching a movie, half dozing off. 
Dina’s already asleep and has been for the last hour. She promised she wouldn’t, then was out like a light. Ellie’s nearly blacked out, too, and she’s about to pass out when the sound of her phone pinging makes her flinch. 
She’s groggy, so she’s slow to pull it out of her bag, but when she does, she’s wide awake.
She freezes like a deer in headlights. Then she snaps to Dina, needing to tell someone. She grabs her arm and shakes it violently. Her friend goes to smack her.
“Jesus Ellie! Get the fuck off of me!” Dina bats her hand away. Ellie grabs at her friend's palm, squeezing. “She texted!” she squeals, giggling like a schoolgirl. Dina yanks her hand away, “Okay, but you don’t have to abuse me.”
Saw you in the Library having a serious study sesh.
Then, wanted to say hi, but wasn’t sure if we were cool like that.
Ellie collapses back onto the sofa, “I’m gonna piss myself.” “Lemme see,” Dina goes, yanking the phone from her. She blinks at the busted screen. Her eyes widen.
“Oh fuck, Ellie,” Dina whispers. “This is the moment. This is the make-or-break moment.” “What do I say!” Ellie nearly shouts. Dina leans back on the sofa, pushing her black hair back. She shrugs, “depends on what you want.” “I want to curl up in a ball and live in her backpack is what I want.” “I dare you to text that.” “Dinnnnaaaaaa,” Ellie whines, falling back onto the cushions. Dina pushes Ellie’s feet away from her. “Elllllieeeee, you just pulled me from a deep sleep. My ability to flirt with girls is at a minus two right now.”
Ellie stares at the text. She drafts a response, and then edits it, taking out some prepositions and adding some dashes to sound more casual. She comes up with:
Hey, you shoulda said hi! It wasn’t all that serious – spent most of it watching old episodes of the x files.
Dina leans over. Her thick brow quirks. “That’s you flirting?” Ellie purses her lips, “No, this is me being friendly.” Dina pulls back, “I thought you wanted to fuck her,”
Ellie looks at her as if she’s silly. “Of course I want to fuck her, but I can’t just say that.”
“No, but you’ve just spoken about Aliens. My dick is limp right now.”
Ellie throws a pillow at her, “I’m gonna punch you in your limp dick.”
Ellie’s phone beeps. She scrambles to read, Oh my god, which season? I started it from the beginning again a couple of months ago.
The phone is brandished in Dina’s face.
“See – a common interest.” Dina huffs, “whatever, if you wanna go the whole slow burn route, that’s fine with me.”
Ellie sits back against the sofa, readying her thumbs to respond, before feeling a warm flutter of breath tickle her ear. She turns, and Dina’s right there, peering over her shoulder. She hides the phone.
“I can’t flirt with you watching me!”
“You just said you were being friendly!”
“I’m about to start flirting!”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” her friend sarcastically drags, “I didn’t hear the starter pistol to know the race was starting.”
“You’re an asshole, you know that?”
“Yeah, I know,” Dina sighs, resting her chin on Ellie’s shoulder. “But I’m also hilarious.”
We should hang out and watch it if you want, Ellie texts. Then, quickly, totally cool if u don’t wanna tho!
Dina hisses, “Fumbled the bag.” “I’m being nice.” “Yeah, too nice.” “It’s cute.” “It’s booorrrrringgg. Just write, Netflix and chill? With a winky face.” “X files isn’t on Netflix anymore.” “Not what I meant.” “I know, I’m choosing to ignore what you meant.”
Yeah, I’d be down:) lemme know a time, and I’ll be there.
Dina pulls back with a sigh, “The ball is in your court, Els.”
  Ellie doesn’t let you know a time.
In fact, she doesn’t respond at all. She gets busy with schoolwork, due dates, and her uncle, who’s visiting for a few weeks. She always means to respond, but days pass, and she thinks it would be awkward to message now.
Desperate, even.
The cracked screen of her busted phone mocks her. Ellie tries to draft a message, Hey, sorry for going quiet. Been busy.
But she deletes it. Thinks, she’s only being nice to me for a deal. Only wants to hang for free weed.
It’s happened before – it’s destined to happen again.
She’s so overwhelmed with these sudden self-deprecating thoughts, that she starts thinking them in her sleep.
You’re desperate, you’re needy. Why would she want you?
She goes somewhere dark. Cloudy. Starts getting restless but can’t sleep. Starts crashing during lectures, and seminars – in art class, brush still in hand.
One day, Dina grabs her shoulders, just message her. Why are you torturing yourself?
Ellie doesn’t text.
You text her.
Hey!! okay if I pick up?
But she’s asleep when it comes through.
She wakes, three hours later, with the keys of her laptop indented on her cheek. When she reads your test, she jerks up straight.
Yes! She writes, inhibitions suddenly gone with the wind. Soz, crashed mid-essay.
She stares at the message screen for a second, waiting for your response. When it doesn’t come, she locks her phone, rubs her face and gets up to get a drink. But when she stands, she pauses and taps her phone again. 
She even unlocks it, wondering if maybe your response didn’t reach her home screen yet.
The thing about Ellie is --she’s eager.
She pretends to be nonchalant about things. Pretends that the little grin you gave her at the coffee shop didn’t affect her, or the small, smiley faces in your texts don’t give her pause. She tries to convince herself that she doesn’t fall easily. With herself, she’s a little liar. With you, though…
She types if u went back to Mike I’ll die.
The whooshing sound of the text sending fills her ears, and then she pauses, realising what she’s said. “Jesus, Ellie,” she mumbles, shaking her head at herself. She locks her phone, dumps it on the table, and then drags herself into the kitchen.
You don’t respond for an hour. She’s making dinner when her phone buzzes, and she flinches like a startled animal. She manages to stir her pasta again a grand total of once before she reaches for her phone.
Would never!! I’m a loyal customer, would never cheat on u.
Ellie’s belly flips. She stares at your big watery eye filled emoji for far too long. You’re still texting.
Tho you didn’t text me about x files:(
Ellie’s thumbs smash into the screen, I’m sorry!!! classes picked up, I’m swamped.
Your response of, awh, okay. I was waiting near the phone for your message:( fills her with so much glee that it makes her sick. She’s about to write, you’re so fucking cute, when your message comes through.
Okay if I pick up now? No worries if ur doing something.
Ellie looks down at her baggy sweats and coffee-stained tank. She’s rushing into the bedroom to change as she texts, Nah, It’s chill. Lmk when ur here.
When she opens the door, you’re standing on her welcome mat, wearing a pretty, flowy summer dress.
She thanks the lord she changed.
Still in sweatpants – though, cleaner ones, -- she’s wearing her favourite top, the one that’s a little too tight, and sits just above the band of her trousers, showing a strip of muscular skin.
She was so nervous waiting for you to come, that she’d smoked beforehand. She’s got the familiar tingle in her limbs, but she’s pretty sure it’s from seeing you in this dress.
She gives you a quick once over, or at least, she thinks it’s quick, but when she glances back at you, you’re looking up at her with a raised brow. She flushes red and clears her throat.
“Hey – “she smiles, then nods to you, “--you look nice.”
Nice doesn’t cover it. She’s never seen so much skin. The dress is fitted, and it clutches your waist, sinching under your breasts. She looks at the bloom of your chest, then immediately glances away, trying to hide the flutter in her lower stomach.
You grin, “thank you,” and you splay your hands out at your waist, shaking them, as if to say, look at me!
Ellie nearly faints from the cuteness.
“Dinner party later,” you explain. “Right.” “Yeah – s’on the way.” She nods, lost in looking at you. You’ve got a splay of glitter in the corner of your eyes, making the bloom of colour pop. There’s shimmer and blush on your cheeks, too. Your lips are the colour of ripe cherries, and she wants nothing more than to lean in and taste.
She breaks out of her trance, shaking her head and widening her eyes at the floor, “right – er, fuck. Sorry.”  
You giggle at her, licking the corner of your lips. “s’okay.”
“I haven’t sorted your shit, gimmie a minute. Come in.”
You brush past her, and a cloud of sweetness follows you. Candyfloss, Ellie thinks, and apple.
She closes the door and turns to you. The dress is tight at your hips, too, bursting out over your thighs. You’re wearing a simple heeled sandal. Ellie stares at your lavender-painted toes.
You spin, dress swirling, “you should have told me you were cooking.” Her pasta simmers happily. “Oh no! it’s fine -- Making pasta, not really cooking.”
She shrugs, “This won’t take long anyway.”
Depends on how long I can drag it out for.
“Eighth, right?” she asks, walking towards her bedroom. When she turns over her shoulder to look for your answer, she swears she catches you looking at her ass. You glance up, caught. It’s her turn to raise her brows at you.
“Er, yeah,” you stutter, “You got any pre-rolled? My friends wanna smoke, too.”
She taps her hand against the doorway, thinking. “Ah, shit. No – I can roll it for you, though?” You nod, and she disappears into her room.
When she comes out, you’re stirring her pasta.
When Ellie was younger, people would talk.
They noticed her lack of boyfriends and her inclination towards girls. She’ll grow out of it, they said. Ellie had never seen her sexuality as something she could ‘grow’ out of. Years later, when she didn’t grow out of it, she started imagining what her life would look like. Imagined a wife and a house that would home her.
Imagined walking into her kitchen, and finding this very sight.
Ellie pauses. Catches herself in the daydream of resting behind you, placing her palms on your waist and kissing the back of your head – thanks for making dinner, baby.
“Oh, sorry,” you sheepishly apologise, grabbing her attention. “It was boiling over.” Ellie holds her palms up. “No argument from me.”
She pads to her coffee table, and sits down on the sofa, leaning over to start rolling for you. Seconds later, she looks up and catches you cracking pepper and salt into the pot. Jesus fucking Christ.
You pad around, dress swaying as you open cupboards, looking for something.  
When did you get so bold?
“You got any chilli flakes?” “Hm?” Ellie hums, a little dazed. You spin to her, your features anticipatory, “Chilli flakes.” “Oh, err. Yeah. In the bottom cupboard to the left.” The nervous tilt of your brow is back, but there’s a small smile there, too. “Can I put them in?”
Ellie opens her mouth in pause. You rush, “Just a bit, just a teensy bit. I’m telling you, it turns quick cook pasta into a gourmet meal.”
You can do whatever you want.
Ellie nods, not trusting her voice. You hurry around excitedly.
“What’re you putting it with?” “Just. Bought pasta sauce.” “Where is it?” “In the cupboard.”
You reach for it.
Ellie goes to tell you to stop, but fuck, she’s mid-fantasy now. She’s saying Honey, I’m home, and walking into the kitchen, finding you cooking for her in a pretty dress.
You leave the pan on the stove.
“Just heat the sauce, okay? I’ve put some herbs and spices in it.” Ellie feels cosy – feels taken care of. The feeling sits low in her belly, oozing into her bloodstream. “You didn’t have to do that.”
You shrug, near swaying towards her. Ellie’s making sure the roll-ups are neat and tidy looking -- taking her time for you.
“How much for the papers and your services?” you quirk. She glances at you from beneath her lashes, then drags her tongue over the paper, and swears she sees you follow the trail of her mouth. The high is there, pulsating in her veins.
“So professional,” she jokes, tone teasing, earning herself a giggle. You walk over, plopping yourself down on the carpet near her table, dress fanned out around you like a peacock. “I’m a professional lady.”
You reach for the bag, starting to roll one. Ellie watches you. Watches you lean over, breasts jostling as you reach.
“Helpful, too,” she comments, and you beam, smiling as you spread the weed over the paper.
Ellie wants nothing more than to see that smile forever.
She’s calm now, the weed she’d smoked making her bold. It gives her the courage to look at you, no holds barred. Her red-rimmed eyes flick over your soft features. 
The balmy air outside has caused a light sheen of sweat to build over your clavicle. A small bead of liquid slides down, and Ellie watches it descend, imagining reaching over and licking it off of you, tasting salt and the apple of your perfume.
Her body warms, tense with anticipation. She doesn’t snap out of it.
You’re too busy rolling to notice, but she does see you straighten your back, perking to attention.
“Um’ being serious,” you comment, consciously rubbing where she’s looking. Ellie catches your eyes.
“Consider making my dinner and seeing you in that pretty dress as payment.”
There’s that grin again. You beam at her, tongue gliding over the paper, and fuck, Ellie’s chest clenches. Her lower belly pulsates, pushing lower. “Does this dress also get me a discount?” you quirk. Yes, Ellie thinks. Fuck, do that again and you can get this shit for free. But she manages to catch herself. “Don’t push it, babe.”
Your smile twists, suddenly a little flustered. Ellie hears the echo of the endearment in her ears. If she wasn’t high, she probably wouldn’t have said that. Still, the word fits on her lips, and it seems that you like it as you reach up to nervously itch your shoulder. You shrug at her, the movement pushing your tits together, “can’t blame a girl for trying.” “No,” Ellie grins, and she catches your eyes. “I can’t.”
Ellie ends up giving you the discount anyway. There’s a voice in the back of her head saying, told you so. But then she’s seeing the knife and fork you left out for her on her countertop. Sees the napkin you folded, then rested on top of a plate.
Wife, she thinks. Wife wife wife.
“Thanks for this,” you smile, putting the roll-ups in your case. Ellie does not look at your tits. She does not look at your tits. Instead, she shrugs, “thanks for cooking for me.” Your smile coils into your cheek, warm and inviting, “Any time.”
When you leave, Ellie leans her head against her closed door, the wood cooling her warm body. Her stomach clenches. The ache that built there holds strong, and there’s a funny fuzz in her head, drunk on the remaining perfume that lingers in her living room.
She reaches down, mindlessly sliding her hand between her thighs. Her nerves spike, causing a shudder of breath to shake through her.
“Fuck sake, Ellie,” she groans. She clenches her fingers tighter, pushing up into the warm ache, and finds herself whispering your name.
She starts to realise why your old dealer fell in love with you.
PART TWO. 
6K notes · View notes
ruershrimo · 9 months ago
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down bad fr | f.megumi x reader
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@takumifujiwarastan remember how a while back you said here that it sucked how there weren't enough introverted girls, reserved girls etc. SO I did try writing this please enjoy their (gn reader woooo) emotional constipation even though the reticence of their personality isn't really highlighted eurgh
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having a crush on megumi is so fucking stupid. it’s driving you insane. 
you can’t even talk to him. everything he does, everything he says— your heart leaps like a rabbit he casts, and your emotions soar into a terrifyingly messy mishmash of confusion and yearning and infatuation, and then everything in between. 
you feel helpless, vulnerable like this— rendered out of control of your feelings after years of emotional constipation and a harsh strictness on yourself to rein them in like a rowdy horse being whipped during derby matches. you’re a climber, you’re hanging precariously from a cliff with every interaction, a child standing before a blueprint with nothing but toy blocks and a kiddie hammer, a roomba with its sensors malfunctioning— you get the point. those were enough metaphors to delineate your predicament.  
well, he doesn’t even like you anyway, right?
but you want him so badly. 
you just want to hammer it into his thick skull. to just go, ‘hey, I like you even if you may not like me! just go out with me anyway!’ 
yet with each interaction you struggle even more. because how the hell do you confess to fushiguro megumi, much less go out with him and become his partner?
for years romance had remained nothing but a velleity, a nice fantasy you could slip into when your mind demanded respite in the form of escapism and jejune daydreams. but now that your adoration for him has made it all somewhat possible, you don’t know what to do— your control is being tended away from you, and the worst part is that you don’t even mind it that much. 
spiky black hair and eyelashes of silk pass you by, his scent as clean as freshly laundered sheets in hotels. at the start you had thought little about him beyond him being your classmate and eventually just your confidante. yet gradually, you surprised yourself. and everything about him is attractive nowadays: his hair, his pearlescent teeth, the viridian hue of his eyes— hell, he made even the way he drank coffee look like a model of a man in an antediluvian monochrome film of the sixties. and it was so normal, so average, that you were about to slap yourself for the fact that an everyday trait  of his had become something so lovely to look at just because it was him. megumi would hold the cup securely by his lithe fingers, the same one he spouted cursed energy from when summoning his shikigami, before lifting the cup up and bringing the brim to his mouth, his lips that never chapped. 
nobara asks whether he’s drinking black coffee to look cool around and attract people. needless to say, at least you were attracted. 
you hoped he didn’t see the way your face must have blanked out, gaze transfixed on his eyes as he took swigs from his mug. 
why’d he have to be like that?!
megumi continued looking at ozawa, the girl who had a crush on itadori— she was just like you for real, but with double the courage and half the emotional constipation. 
you hoped it would work out for her. that way, perhaps you could muster the strength and bravery to do the same, too. 
you take another look at him. he’s really pretty. had you kicking your feet in the air and all and then screaming in horror because of it, had you wrapped around his finger without even knowing. 
with the help of kugisaki and megumi, ozawa and itadori, the two of them are cajoled to go around tokyo together. it’s the best ‘date’ that the two of them can help the other two have, especially since itadori is dense as rocks (megumi’s probably worse based on your experiences, then) and ozawa is as shy as a touch-me-not flower. 
“oh, and [name],” megumi starts while nobara strolls ahead, all set to begin a new shopping spree. 
“ah— uh, yeah?” you stammer. 
“do you like me? romantically, I mean…” he scratches the back of his neck. 
what the fuck. is this seriously happening? right now? 
“huh? what? I—” 
“no, it’s just that— seeing ozawa made me think. I guess I never considered it an option, but I suppose I have had… feelings for you for a pretty long time…” 
“woah. ah, sorry, I meant— sorry, I’m just very surprised…” you scramble, your hands gesticulating all kinds of things in an exaggerated way of taking it back because yes you like him, you like him a lot— “I mean, I do like you! it’s just, fuck— uh, what do I say— I’m really scared. I thought you didn’t reciprocate at all.” 
“I could tell. but I…” he hesitates, “I overthought everything,” then with a frown, he goes, “gojo would have teased me if he was here.” 
“well, I– uh. we’re lucky he isn’t, I guess?” you pause, “...so what do we do now? are we a thing? are we dating? wait, am I going too fast? I, oh my goodness, I—” 
“would you like to?” he asks. your knees are about to buckle with every second he keeps his eyes on yours. 
“I…— well, I would.” 
“then it’s settled. can I— can I hold your hand, please?” 
“...okay.” 
with trepidation in your hands and your heart pounding in your chest, you inch your hands closer, saline sweat on them as if you’d dipped it into the sea. he keeps his gaze on yours— they’re as unsure as you are, his cheeks a slight scarlet, his eyes swirling with nervousness but a sliver of anticipation, of joy and relief. so he feels exactly the same as you do, then. 
his fingers find yours after a while, tracing along the lines of your palm like a blind man touching something for the first time. you want to learn to love and to memorise each nook and cranny of him starting with his palm, and for once emotional vulnerability is not that bad. 
kugisaki’s in for a shock as soon as she turns around. first it was itadori potentially having a partner before she does, and now megumi? 
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imagine writing this because of being delulu abt an irl crush (i should be studying for my exams.) haha couldn't be me right (i'm so cooked)
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roses-for-rosalyn · 11 months ago
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Cowboys
Ellie x reader (for now)
Part 2
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summary: A stranger comes to your door- it turns out it's not one of your usual encounters cw: guns, cowboy lingo, fem! reader, cowboy crossdresser Ellie, eventual smut, blood, injuries, your average confusing lesbianism, eventual smut, no use of y/n wc: 3.6k
for those who prefer ao3 <3 gotchu minors DNI (I will steal all you pillowcases)
LINKS TO HELP PALESTINE l DAILY CLICK
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Nothing could beat the beauty of the sunset in the desert. Purples, blues, oranges, and yellows swirled together to paint a new masterpiece every night. And every night you would sit on your small, wooden porch with a cup of tea and watch as the sun slowly sinks into the horizon. Tonight was no exception. 
The sky becomes darker and darker until the moon and the stars come out, bathing the desert in a silver light. You struggle with the stubborn, old front door for a moment before you step into your little ranch house.
A chill runs through you as the temperature outside rapidly declines. You kneel in front of the fireplace and use the little kindling you have for a fire. It was enough to keep you warm for a few hours while you read yourself to sleep. Sometimes you felt lucky that it was a small enough house that the small fire would warm up the whole place. Your bed was just a few paces away from the mantle. 
You stand up and dust off your hands before starting to undress for bed. As you begin to unbutton your bodice a knock sounds from the front door. 
You scramble for your rifle by your bedside and check to make sure it’s loaded. You peek through one of your front windows to catch a glimpse of the mysterious stranger. At this hour and on the edge of town, your visitors weren’t usually friendly. 
It seems a cowboy has paid you a visit this evening. Haven’t seen one of those in a damn long time. A gun is proudly holstered on his hip next to a lasso, and his black large-brimmed hat keeps his face dark enough that you can’t quite make it out. 
He knocks again, louder. You creep up to the front door and slowly open it. Before he can process who opened the door you aim your rifle right at his chest. 
“Hands up.” You demand, your voice is surprisingly steady. 
“Woah there, I just stopped to ask for some directions.” A deep, yet feminine voice replies. It sounds like she was all too sure you weren’t going to be using that weapon on her, she didn’t even bother to move. You cock the gun, trying like hell to keep your expression blank, unphased while your entire body fills with adrenaline. She takes a step back and puts her hands up. Her hat still covers her face in shadow, it’s like confronting a ghost. 
“You should have stopped somewhere else.” You take a step towards her, closing the door behind you while keeping your vision trained on the woman. 
“You’re much different than the other women I’ve run into out here.” She looks up slightly, the moonlight illuminating pink, slightly chapped lips forming a smug smirk. “Where’s your husband, miss?”
“I swear if you don’t get back on your goddamn horse I’ll put a hole right through your chest.” she steps towards you, the muzzle of the gun pokes right under her collarbone. 
She finally looks at you, silver light exposes a sharp, feminine face dotted with freckles darkened by days in the sun. The sight of her face catches you off guard for just enough time, allowing her to grab the barrel of the rifle and pull it right out of your hands. She drops the gun and it clatters loudly to the ground, echoing through the empty desert landscape. She grabs your wrists before you can start fighting back and pins them above your head against the door with one hand. 
“There,” she grunts as you struggle against her grip, she’s surprisingly strong, “now we can have a conversation.” 
“Go to Hell.” You say, seething with rage and frustration because she was able to overpower you so easily. She shakes her head and laughs for a moment, saying something under her breath like all this trouble. 
You were just about to spit in her face when she said, “Where’s the nearest hotel darlin’?” Your eyes widen at the innocent question, slightly embarrassed. This was a first, she really just needed directions. She uses your stunned silence to talk some more, “I’ve been savin’ up so I could have a bed for the night. And I could really really use a bed tonight, miss.” You stop struggling against her grip and she lets go. She still has that stupid smirk on her face. “So if you could point me in the right direction it would be much appreciated.” 
“Head southwest, you’ll hit a trail that will lead you right into town.” You dust off your dress and straighten it out. 
“Much appreciated, darlin’.” She tips her hat and walks off toward her horse. You watch in shock as she mounts her horse and before riding away she says just loud enough, “I’ll be seein’ you.” And with a nod, she was off. 
You slowly bend down to pick up the Winchester, cradling it against your chest as you watch the stranger disappear into the night. As you head inside you wonder if you ever will see that strange woman again, and fall asleep debating whether or not you would want to.
**  **
The next morning you head to the school house. The steady feeling and sound of your horse trotting along the dirt path always forced your mind to wander elsewhere. Right now you couldn’t stop thinking about the woman from last night. The schoolhouse was right in the middle of town, would you see her again? Would she even recognize you? If she did, would she even try to talk to you?
The interaction was a bit embarrassing for you, but to be fair you had your fair share of vile men looking for trouble and hostile groups of Apache knocking on your front door. Your father had taught you how to use his Winchester rifle, the very same rifle you use now, and you mentally thanked him for it every night. You had only used it to kill one man, he wouldn’t take no for an answer and you gave him plenty of warnings. He didn’t believe your threats so now he was buried about 500 feet from the house in an unmarked grave, you were sure no one would miss a man like that. Most of the time the Apache would just come to ask questions about men passing through the area, they never tried to attack you, thankfully, but they would always come at the most ungodly hours and were quite impatient. 
Last night was a first, you had never had a cowboy knock at your door, and then she ended up being a woman. The idea of her was so intriguing and you couldn’t figure out why. For some reason, she shook you more than anyone else had since you lived out here. And you’d seen quite a lot.  
Your thoughts are interrupted as you reach town, the sound of rickety carriages, hooves against the packed dirt road, and the chatter of men in front of the Sheriff’s Office make it hard to focus. 
“Hello there, sunshine!” you hear a male voice call out. You turn towards the voice to see Jesse making his way past you on horseback, lugging today's newspapers to the apothecary. He made the trip from Sante Fe every morning. He was nice enough, you liked talking to him, but not as much as you felt like you should. The ladies at the apothecary, Dina, and Maria, would always encourage you to talk to him. They desperately wanted you to move on from your husband. He was long gone and you knew that, you were even thankful for it, which is why you were nervous to start again. You didn’t want to have to go through anything like that again. 
You wave back and smile, “Hi there, Jesse.” You decide to be polite, “Hear anything good today?” He tightens the reins of his horse and stops right next to you. 
“They struck gold in Elizabethtown, and there’s gonna be a shortage of tobacco ‘round these parts within the week because of a dust storm over in Tennessee.”
“Well, I’m sure they’ll have a panic on their hands pretty soon then. I don’t know a man here who can live without their cigars.” You smile and Jesse laughs politely at your attempt at a joke. 
“Alright, don’t want the kids to show up before I do, I'd best be headin’ to the school.” You yearned to leave this awkward conversation through any means possible. Today was not the day for small talk. 
“Ok, I’ll see you tomorrow then, miss.” Your head snaps towards Jesse. You’re suddenly transported to last night and listening to the way the cowboy’s words would drip from her lips, smooth as honey “Miss”. Calm and sure even with a gun pointed right to her heart. 
You quickly snap out of it and nod politely at Jesse as you begin to part ways. You head to the schoolhouse in a hurry, the kids gave you hell if you were late. 
** **
You’re beginning to lock up the schoolhouse when you hear footsteps approaching. “Well hello there, miss.” You recognize the voice all too quickly, you don’t even need to turn around. “Was really hopin’ I’d find you here.” 
As you fish into your pocket for the key you respond, “And how exactly did you find me here?” you turn around and begin to walk past her toward your horse. She follows you. From a brief glance at her, you can see she wears a bandana to cover her face, you could only see her eyes. “You don’t even know my name.”
“I just asked those nice ladies at the apothecary if they knew the women who lived just outside of town, they were more than happy a “nice gentleman” took interest in you. They told me just about everything they knew, your name, some snippets of gossip. I’m sure if I stayed they would’ve told me your life story” You finally turn to face her, your expression unamused. She took her hat off at some point when she was talking to you, her eyes are green, radiant in the unrelenting desert sunlight. You were almost jealous. She wore a dark blue button-down that sat surprisingly flat against her chest and suspenders. She could pass for a man if she wanted to. “So, I take it you don’t have a husband then?” 
“What’s it to you?” you cross your arms, defensively.
“I was just curious, I asked last night, but you weren’t exactly in a talking mood.” You swear you can make out her smirk under the bandana. 
“No, I haven’t had a husband for quite a while. Is that what you came all the way here to ask me?” She lowers her bandana and steps towards you, backing you into your horse. 
“No, I came to ask a favor.” She hesitates for a moment, “No one here can know that I’m, um, well you know..”
“A woman?” pretty easy to piece together after seeing the bandana. 
“Yea,” She backs away from you a little. Seems like someone is embarrassed to ask a favor. “It’s just easier for me to get things this way and it’s lookin’ like I’ll be staying later than I planned so..” 
“Alright, I won’t say anything.” She opens her mouth to begin to thank you, but you weren’t about to let an opportunity like this pass you by. “But, you owe me a favor then.”
Her excited expression disappeared as quickly as it came, if you weren’t looking you could have missed it, “Um, alright, what do ya need?” 
“You know your little visit last night?” You had been cooking this proposition up all day, hoping she would run into you again. 
“Yes.”
“Well, that happens to me about every other day. I don’t want a husband, but I do need a guard dog of some kind.” You didn’t want a man in your home, but you did want the protection of one, this was the perfect opportunity, almost too perfect. 
“A guard dog?” She seems mildly offended by you comparing her to a dog.
“I’m tired of not being able to sleep because of surprise visitors. And I’ll pay you in two square meals a day, tea, and my homemade moonshine.” She does not look amused. “And I won’t tell anyone you’re a lady.”
“I don’t know-”
“I know you’re almost out of money, I’m sure Tommy is bleeding you dry as an outside visitor. I won’t charge you anything.” Something in her loosens, you can see it.
“So do I sleep on your floor?”
“Or outside if you’d like, makes no difference to me. There’s a fire pit out there for ya” You turn around and mount your horse, eager to get home. “We got a deal?” You reach your hand down towards her. She hesitates before shaking it. 
“I’m Ellie by the way.” You nod
“Alright Ellie, I’ll see you at my house then. I trust you’re familiar with the address” She just nods, slightly shocked. You smile and then head off, the comforting sound of hoofbeats clearing the thoughts in your head. On the way home you tend to just listen to the sounds of the desert. After a day of loud, squealing children it was healing. You’re sure you’d go crazy if you lived in town. 
** **
You had just finished making your evening tea when you heard a knock on your door. For the first time in a long time, you don’t go into fight or flight mode. You open the door with a smile, part of you is surprised she even showed up. Your proposition was a little ridiculous, but that truly shows how desperate you are. 
“Hello there stranger.” You are really pushing it with this attitude, you can tell, but something in you likes it when she gets annoyed. 
“Hi.” She takes off her hat and lowers her bandana, something you’ve observed as a habit of hers, one of respect possibly. “So am I sleepin’ with the rattlesnakes or on your floor?” 
“You get bit by a rattlesnake come to me and I’ll suck the venom out myself. Until then you best set up camp before dark darlin’.” You smile at her sweetly. 
“Figured as much.” She smirks and walks away to set up camp.
“Dinner’ll be ready in 20 minutes. I hope ya like stew.” You call out to her. “Oh, and there’s a spring out back if you need any water!” 
** **
The stew finally thickens up to the way you like it, you pour it into two bowls and quickly slurp up your serving. Didn’t taste amazing, but it was food. 
You open your front door to bring Ellie her food and see that she’s already started a fire, she’s sipping from a silver flask just staring at the flames. 
You approach and wordlessly hand her a bowl of stew and a spoon. She looks up at you “You gonna eat?” 
“No, I- uh already ate.” More like inhaled but she didn’t need to know that. You point at her flask. “What’s in there?” 
“You’re tellin’ me you don’t know what’s in here?” She raises her eyebrows.
“I know it’s liquor, Ellie, I’m just askin’ what kind.” Her confused expression drops.
“Whiskey.” She looks at the flask in her hand, then at you. “Want some?” She clearly did not want to offer it to you. But you sit down next to her and reach your hand out for it. 
“Hand it over.” She hands you the flask. The metal was cool to the touch, almost shocking after the desert heat all day. You take a sip and the liquor burns its way down your throat, and your face scrunches a little. You were used to shooting whiskey, but this was particularly terrible, even worse than your moonshine. “Wow, that’s pretty awful.”
Ellie laughs between bites of stew, “You’re stew isn’t the greatest thing I’ve tasted either.”
“Hey!” You lightly punch her shoulder. She giggles even more. “You’re welcome for the food by the way.” You take another swig of whiskey and then hand the flask back to the cowgirl. 
“Thank you,” she takes the flask, “for the meal.” she hands you her empty bowl. “And a place to stay, even if it’s outside.” 
“We’ll see, maybe you’ll earn your way inside.” You take her bowl and turn to head inside. 
“Is that a challenge?” She calls after you. 
“Maybe.” You call back. 
You step inside and immediately undress for bed, the whiskey making your eyes droop closed. You can barely get your buttons undone before you fall into bed, for the first time in a while, not having to worry about dangerous strangers knocking down your door.  
** **
You wake up to a hasty knock coming from the front door. It’s still dark outside. You weren’t supposed to have to deal with this anymore. You grab your rifle and don’t even bother checking who is at the door simply out of annoyance. Would have bit you in the ass later if it was a surprise visitor. You open the door and cock the rifle. To your astonishment, you open the door to Ellie, holding her side. There’s a dark stain forming under her hands, her face is bloody and bruised. And yet she’s got a smug yet pained smile on her face. “This how you’re always gonna greet me?” 
“Jesus Ellie,” you usher her inside quickly. “What happened?” 
“You got some visitors, a group of Apache men.” She sits down in one of your wooden dining room chairs. You rush over to grab the small medical kit you had managed to fashion over the years. “They wanted to see you in particular, when I told them you weren’t accepting visitors they sort of attacked me. It was one versus six” 
“They don’t trust many people.” You undo Ellie’s suspenders and begin unbuttoning her shirt without even thinking. “Most folks round here shoot first and ask questions later, they don’t have any respect or patience for a stubborn cowboy.” You walk over, grab a candle and some matches, and light it so you can see. “Can’t say I blame them. I am sorry though I’d thought they’d see your gun and back off” 
“That is real optimistic of ya.” You remove her right arm from the sleeve of her shirt. She is wearing some sort of binding around her chest- so that’s how she’s managed to pass for a man. 
“Wow, that’s a big word for you.” You smirk at her as you clean your hands with some moonshine. 
“Really? I’m bleedin’ out and you’re making fun of me?” You press gauze to her wound, she hisses through her teeth. 
“Please, you’re not bleeding out. Shouldn’t even need stitches, just some cleaning and dressing.” You look up at her, you’re not quite sure, but even in the dim candlelight, you could swear she was blushing. You wouldn’t dare mention it when she’s already made herself so vulnerable. 
“Now for the hard part.” You take out a small bottle of vinegar. 
“Alright.” Ellie leans back in the chair, ready for the sting of the vinegar. 
“Here.” You take her left hand and place it on your shoulder. “Squeeze if you need to.” She nods and you take that as your cue to begin. You pour the vinegar on the wound and you watch as her abs contract, her hand squeezes your shoulder, pretty hard, but you know she was trying not to hurt you, even in pain. 
You stand up and gently wrap a few layers of gauze around her mid-section, just in case it starts bleeding again during the night. You were so, so close to her, you could feel the heat radiating from her skin. “You always wear that?” 
“Wear what?”
“The-the bandages, round your chest.” She looks down at them like she almost forgot they were there. Suddenly you realize how personal that question must be. “Sorry, I shouldn’t said anything. You don’t have to answer” 
“No, It’s alright. I don’t mind. Yes, I’ve worn this for a while now, easier to get around when you look like a man.” You nod and finish wrapping the gauze around her and pin it in place. You put a bit of vinegar on a piece of gauze and begin cleaning the cuts on her face. “Oh, you don’t need to do that, miss.”
“Please just let me clean off your face. Were you planning on walkin’ around town tomorrow with dried blood on your cheeks?” She opens her mouth to say something but closes it. She’s quiet as you gently clean her face, you can see every freckle, every scar, her eyes shining in the candlelight. It was odd being this close to her. You had never felt comfortable being this physically close to someone. Her warmth almost invited you in, made you want to press your nose to her neck, run your hands across her skin, feeling along all the freckles and scars, memorizing the spot of each one. you wanted to know her in a way you have never wanted to know anybody else.
“Hey,” a gentle voice grounds you back into reality. “I think my face is clean.” She smiles softly. She was right, at some point, you had gotten her face completely clean, you’re not sure how long she let you drag the cloth across her freckled cheeks before she said something. 
“Yeah, sorry.” You back away and put the blood-soaked gauze in the burn pile. “You should sleep in here. Don’t think anyone else will be coming tonight. I’ll go get your bedroll.” Ellie just nods and you go out to grab her things. 
You hurry back and set up her bedroll on the floor right next to your bed. She makes her way to it and sits down on the floor with a thud, careful to not contort her body in a way that could re-open the wound. She collapses onto the wool blankets. When you’re sure she’s settled you place your rifle back next to your bed and fall into your mattress, knowing you’ll be exhausted tomorrow.
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tavolgisvist · 3 months ago
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Paul about the breakup of The Beatles in The Lyrics, 2021
The four of us just knew how to fall in with each other and play, and that was our real strength. That made it all the more sorrowful to think that our breaking up was almost inevitable. So there’s a wistful aspect to ‘Get Back’. The idea that you should get back to your roots, that The Beatles should get back to how we were in Liverpool. And the roots are embodied in the style of the song, which is straight-up rock and roll. Because that was definitely what I thought we should do when we broke up – that we should ‘get back to where we once belonged’ and become a little band again. We should just play and do the occasional little gig. The others laughed at that – quite understandably – because by then it was not really a practical solution. John had just met Yoko, and he clearly needed to escape to a new place, whereas I was saying we should escape to an old place. Reviving the old Beatles just wasn’t on the cards. It was too late to be recommending that we not forget who we were and where we once were from. If my dream at the time really was to get back to where we once belonged, John’s dream was to go beyond where we once belonged, to go somewhere we didn’t yet belong. I’ve already mentioned how in September 1969 we were in a meeting and talking about future plans, and John said, ‘Well, I’m not doing it. I’m leaving. Bye.’ In the ensuing moments, he was giggling and saying how this felt really thrilling, like telling someone you’re going to divorce them and then laughing. At the time, obviously, that was wildly hurtful. Talk about a knockout blow. You’re lying on the canvas, and he’s giggling and telling you how good it feels to have just knocked you out. It took a while, but I suppose I eventually got with the programme. This was my best mate from my youth, the collaborator with whom I’d done some of the best work of the twentieth century (he said, modestly). If he fell in love with this woman, what did that have to do with me? Not only did I have to let him do it, but I had to admire him for doing it. That was the position I eventually reached. There was nothing else I could do but be cool with it.
(Paul McCartney about Get Back (1969), The Lyrics, 2021)
That was coupled with the business problems at Apple Records, which really were horrible. The business meetings were just soul-destroying. We’d sit around in an office, and it was a place you just didn’t want to be, with people you didn’t want to be with. There’s a great picture that Linda took of Allen Klein, in which he’s got a hammer like Maxwell’s silver hammer. It’s very symbolic. And that’s why we have the little nod and a wink in the middle section to ‘You Never Give Me Your Money’, in the lines ‘I never give you my pillow / I only send you my invitations’. That whole period weighed on me to such an extent that I even began to think it was all tied in with the idea of original sin. Even though my mum had christened me as a Catholic, we weren’t brought up Catholic, so I didn’t buy into the concept of original sin on a day-to-day basis. It’s really very depressing to think that you were born a loser.
(Paul McCartney about Carry That Weight (1969), The Lyrics, 2021)
The Beatles stuff all got too heavy, and 'heavy' at that time had a very particular meaning for me. It meant more than oppressive. It meant having to go into meetings and sit in the boardroom with all the other Beatles and with the accountants and with this guy Allen Klein. He was a New York spiv who had come over to London and talked to The Rolling Stones and persuaded them he was the man for them. Prior to that, he had persuaded Sam Cooke he was the man for him. I smelled a rat but the other chaps didn’t, so we had a fight over it and I got voted down. I was trying to be Mr Rational and Mr Sensible, and it all went haywire. It was early 1969, and The Beatles were already beginning to break up. John had said he was leaving, and Allen Klein told us not to tell anyone, as he was in the middle of doing deals with Capitol Records. So, for a few months we had to keep mum. We were living a lie, knowing that John had left the group. Allen Klein and Dick James, who sold our publishing in Northern Songs without giving us a chance to buy the company, were both hanging around in the background of this song. All the people who had screwed us or were still trying to screw us. It’s fascinating how directly we acknowledged this in the song. We’d cottoned on to them, and they must have cottoned on to the fact that we’d cottoned on. We couldn’t have been more direct about it. ...
Contracts were written on funny paper. Lying behind the song is the idea of the contract as a relationship between two people. The negotiations are at once business negotiations and romantic negotiations; I’m thinking of the lines ‘And in the middle of negotiations / You break down’. The breakdown in negotiations is also a kind of nervous breakdown. The problem was that, by this stage, everything was up for negotiation, and miscommunication was the order of the day. We weren’t really writing together anymore. Each person was bringing in little bits of this and little bits of that. And we all knew that phase of our lives, of being The Beatles, was coming to an end. We were working towards an album, knowing it was probably going to be our final fling. Though Let It Be was released later, Abbey Road was indeed the last album we recorded in the studio. There was an upside, however. I’d got married to Linda, and our relationship offered some respite from the dreary infighting and the financial stuff. The lines ‘One sweet dream / Pick up the bags and get in the limousine’ were a reference to how Linda and I were still able to disappear for a weekend in the country. That saved me.
(Paul McCartney about You Never Give Me Your Money (1969), The Lyrics, 2021)
This was just after The Beatles broke up, and I was trying to establish myself as a solo artist with a new repertoire. If it was going to work like the Beatles repertoire had worked, I had to have a hit. One in two songs had to be a hit. So, this was a conscious effort to write a hit, and Phil was very helpful. We knew that if we had a hit, it would cement our relationship and we would keep working together, which we did with the RAM album. It would prove that we were both good – he as a producer and I as a singer songwriter. Releasing my first solo song after the breakup felt like a big moment. Thrilling, though tinged with sadness. It also felt like I had something to prove, and that kind of challenge is always exciting. The song went to number two in the UK singles chart and number five in the US Billboard Hot 100, so it did pretty well. Of course, this was still a time when there was a bit of tension between John and me, and this sometimes filtered into our songwriting. John made fun of this song in one of his own, ‘How Do You Sleep?’The only thing you done was yesterday And since you’ve gone you’re just another day One of his little piss takes.
(Paul McCartney about Another Day (1969/1971), The Lyrics, 2021)
This song was written a year or so after The Beatles breakup, at a time when John was firing missiles at me with his songs, and one or two of them were quite cruel. I don’t know what he hoped to gain, other than punching me in the face. The whole thing really annoyed me. I decided to turn my missiles on him too, but I’m not really that kind of a writer, so it was quite veiled. It was the 1970s equivalent of what we might today call a ‘diss track’. Songs like this, where you’re calling someone out on their behaviour, are quite commonplace now, but back then it was a fairly new ‘genre’. The idea of too many people ‘preaching practices’ was definitely aimed at John telling everyone what they ought to do – telling me, for instance, that I ought to go into business with Allen Klein. I just got fed up with being told what to do, so I wrote this song. ‘You took your lucky break and broke it in two’ was me saying basically, ‘You’ve made this break, so good luck with it.’ But it was pretty mild. I didn’t really come out with any savagery, and it’s actually a fairly upbeat song; it doesn’t really sound that vitriolic. If you didn’t know the story, I don’t know that you’d be able to guess at the anger behind its writing. It was all a bit weird and a bit nasty, and I was basically saying, ‘Let’s be sensible. We had a lot going for us in The Beatles, and what actually split us up is the business stuff, and that’s pretty pathetic really, so let’s try and be peaceful. Let’s maybe give peace a chance.’ The first verse and the chorus have pretty much all the anger I could muster, and when I did the vocal on the second line, ‘Too many reaching for a piece of cake’, I remember singing it as ‘Piss off cake’, which you can hear if you really listen to it. Again, I was getting back at John, but my heart wasn’t really in it. This is me saying, ‘Too many people are sharing the party line. Too many people are grabbing for a slice of the cake, a piece of the pie.’ The ‘sleep in late’ thing – whether that was accurate, whether John and Yoko actually slept in late or not, I’m not sure (although John often was a late riser when I would drive out to Weybridge so that we could write together). They were all references to people thinking that their own truth was the only truth, which was certainly what was coming from John. The thing is, so much of what they held to be truth was crap. War is over? Well no, it isn’t. But I get what you’re saying: war is over if you want it to be. So, if enough people want war to be over, it’ll be over. I’m not sure that’s entirely true, but it’s a great sentiment; it’s a nice thing to think and to say.
I’d been able to accept Yoko in the studio, sitting on a blanket in front of my amp. I’d worked hard to come to terms with that. But then when we broke up and everyone was now flailing around, John turned nasty. I don’t really understand why. Maybe because we grew up in Liverpool, where it was always good to get in the first punch of a fight. The whole story in a nutshell is that we were having a meeting in 1969, and John showed up and said he’d met this guy Allen Klein, who had promised Yoko an exhibition in Syracuse, and then matter-of-factly John told us he was leaving the band. That’s basically how it happened. It was three to one because the other two went with John, so it was looking like Allen Klein was going to own our entire Beatles empire. I was not too keen on that idea. John actually had Allen Klein and Yoko in the room, suggesting lyrics during writing sessions. In his song ‘How Do You Sleep?’ the line ‘The only thing you done was yesterday’ was apparently Allen Klein’s suggestion, and John said, ‘Hey, great. Put that in.’ I can see the laughs they had doing it, and I had to work very hard not to take it too seriously, but at the back of my mind I was thinking, ‘Wait a minute, All I ever did was “Yesterday”? I suppose that’s a funny pun, but all I ever did was “Yesterday”, “Let It Be”, “The Long and Winding Road”, “Eleanor Rigby”, “Lady Madonna”, . . . – fuck you, John.’ I had to fight them for my bit of The Beatles and, in fact, for their bit of The Beatles, which many years later they realised and almost thanked me for. Nowadays people get it, but at the time I think the others felt they were the ones who were victims, who were being hurt by my actions. Allen Klein already had a history with The Rolling Stones. I just thought, ‘Oy oy oy, no, this guy’s got such a bad reputation.’ And good old John says, ‘Oh, if he’s that badly talked about, he can’t be all bad.’ John had this kind of distorted thinking, which was amusing sometimes. But not when someone was going to take everything that John and George and Ringo and I owned and had worked really hard to get.
So, I stood up as the sensible one and said, ‘This is not good.’ Klein wanted twenty per cent, and I said, ‘Tell him he can have ten, if you have to go with him.’ ‘Oh no, no, no,’ they came back. ‘No, he wants twenty.’ It seemed to me they were just fucking out of it and making no attempt to do anything sensible. A lot of hurt went down during that period in the early 1970s – them feeling hurt, me feeling hurt – but John being John, he was the one who would write a hurtful song. That was his bag.
(Paul McCartney about Too Many People (1971), The Lyrics, 2021)
Towards the end of 1969, John had quite gleefully told us it was over. There were a few of us in the Apple boardroom at the time. I think George was away visiting family, but Ringo and I were at the meeting, and John was saying no to every suggestion. I thought we should go back to playing smaller gigs again, but the answer came back: ‘No’. Eventually John said, ‘Oh, I’ve been wanting to tell you this, but I’m leaving The Beatles.’ We were all shocked. Relations had been strained, but we sat there saying, ‘What? Why? Why? Why?’ It was like a divorce, and he had just had a divorce from Cynthia the year before. I can remember him saying, ‘Oh, this is quite exciting.’ That was very John, and I had admired this kind of contrarian behaviour about him since we were kids, when I first met him.
He really was a bit loony, in the nicest possible way. But whilst all of us could see what he meant, it was not quite so exciting for those left on the other side.
(Paul McCartney about Dear Friend (1971), The Lyrics, 2021)
This is one of my favourite songs. It's a ballad with a brass section, but it’s always felt Victorian in style to me. It’s very heartfelt. ‘A love so warm and beautiful / Stands when time itself is falling’. I like that idea, instead of just saying, ‘It will go on forever.’ I got a good feeling writing this song, and listening to it now, I still do. ‘Love, faith and hope are beautiful’. The brass solo is lovely for me because it harks back to the brass bands that were so common when I was a kid; there would often be brass bands in the park or in the streets. My dad played trumpet, as I never fail to mention, and he had his own little band – Jim Mac’s Jazz Band. The first instrument he bought me was a trumpet, and he taught me the scale of C which, when you go on the piano, becomes B-flat. It’s all very complicated. That’s why we didn’t even bother learning music. I realised that I wanted to swap the trumpet for a guitar, so I asked his permission, and he said, ‘Yes, okay.’ ‘Warm and Beautiful’ was written well after the demise of The Beatles, and at this time we knew sadness. I knew about delving into your mind to look for help and looking for some sort of solace in a song. I liked the idea of writing a song in a universal way that dispels the sadness. You write about the wonderful things you know in the world, and you try to write so that it will sing well and be well received by people dealing with grief something that inevitably surrounds all of us at one time or another. On a more personal level, the main inspiration for the song was Linda…
(Paul McCartney about Warm and Beautiful (1976), The Lyrics, 2021)
After The Beatles thing became so depressing, Linda and I decided we’d get out of London and start living full-time on our small holding in Scotland. It was quite a difficult period because of the band’s breakup but it allowed me to see another side of myself. First and foremost, we did everything for ourselves, and at this point it was Linda, Heather, Mary – who was still a baby – and me. If we needed something to eat, we’d go into town in the little Land Rover, come back up, and cook it. We didn’t have anyone helping us, except for one guy, the shepherd, because it was a little sheep farm. It was an experience that allowed me to be a man. <…> I’d grown up in Liverpool and gone on the road with The Beatles around the world and then around again, and now here I was on a farm in the middle of nowhere, and it was sensational. <…> This was the kind of thing I’d never done, ever, in my life, and it was amazingly liberating. I got to do all the things I think a lot of young people still dream about today – the famous ‘gap year’. I sense a lot of people want that freedom, escaping the rat race…
(Paul McCartney about When Winter Comes (1992), The Lyrics, 2021)
After the breakup of The Beatles, I wouldoften just sit around a lot. Sometimes I sat in the kitchen while the kids were playing. Maybe they were drawing. Maybe they were doing bits and pieces of homework. In this case, I came across the chords and I just felt optimistic, and I liked the idea of a song saying that help is coming and there’s a bright light on the horizon. I’ve got absolutely no evidence for this, but I like to believe it. It helps to lift my spirits, to move me forward, and hopefully it might help other people move forward too.
(Paul McCartney about Great Day (1972/1997), The Lyrics, 2021)
Wings, which we began in 1971, was in many ways an experiment to see whether there was life after The Beatles, to see whether that success could be followed. It was the result of asking myself, ‘Am I going to stop now?’ The Beatles were so wonderful and all-encompassing, so successful. Now, should I stop and look for something else to do? But I thought, ‘No. I like music too much, so whatever the something else is, it will be music.’ <…> But it wouldn’t be The Wings, like The Beatles. Just Wings. My problem after The Beatles was, who’s going to be as good as them? I thought, ‘We can’t be as good as The Beatles, but we can be something else.’ I knew that if I were to go ahead with this project I’d have to tough it out, but I had reserves of courage from being part of The Beatles when pennies were thrown at us at the village hall in Stroud, when we were still starting out. <…> Starting off a new band is always a lot of fun, but it’s a lot of hard work too; you have to establish yourself. Following The Beatles was one of the most difficult things for me, just trying to live up to those expectations. It was even more difficult for her [Linda]. I started to write songs for Wings from 1971 onwards, when we got started, and I tried to keep them away from The Beatles’ style. There were avenues I could go down that I wouldn’t have gone down with The Beatles, like bringing in the influence of reggae, which Linda and I got into in Jamaica. I fancied doing something crazy, and Wings allowed me a little bit more freedom. So, this is a love song in which Cupid’s arrow is referenced, but it’s a malevolent arrow. It’s possible I’d seen an illustration of Cupid and thought, ‘Cupid fires a bow, but I’ll switch it. It won’t be love; it will be the opposite.’ The character in the song has been wounded. He’s been cheated on. And it could’ve been a great relationship, could’ve been fantastic. As things stand, you couldn’t ‘have found a more down hero’, because there was nobody more down than me at that moment. So, get it together and bring your love. I have always had a soft spot for this song. There’s a nice horn riff in it, and it’s funky. Sometimes you write to get a sort of feeling rather than a perfectly ‘correct’ lyric. Sometimes the lyric can be secondary to the feeling. This one has as much, or more, to do with the feel of the song, the groove.
(Paul McCartney about Arrow Through Me (1979), The Lyrics, 2021)
John described ‘Coming Up’ somewhere as ‘a good piece of work’. He’d been lying around not doing much, and it sort of shocked him out of inertia. So it was nice to hear that it had struck a chord with him. At first, after the breakup of The Beatles, we had no contact, but there were various things we needed to talk about. Our relationship was a bit fraught sometimes because we were discussing business, and we would sometimes insult each other on the phone. But gradually we got past that, and if I was in New York I would ring up and say, ‘Do you fancy a cup of tea?’
(Paul McCartney about Coming Up (1979), The Lyrics, 2021)
It’s very possible that I’d been feeling down in London. I was back in the solace of family and Liverpool, and what with the Beatles troubles down south, I was likely thinking, ‘Wouldn’t it be nice to get home and have that comfortable feeling again?’ So, there may have been some of that in the background. I wouldn’t rule it out. When I wrote the song, I hadn’t been back home to Liverpool for a long time. But now I was at my dad’s house, which wasn’t quite home because it was a house I’d bought him when I got some money – a five-bedroomed mock Tudor place in Heswall near the River Dee. But it was still Liverpool, and it was ‘homeward’. So I added, ‘Once there was a way to get back homeward / Once there was a way to get back home’. The song turned out to be quite soulful, and I think that’s what attracted me to those lyrics in the first place – that notion of consoling a baby or reading kids a bedtime story. ‘Sleep, pretty darling, do not cry / And I will sing a lullaby’. Those are lines – or something with a similar sentiment – that most parents probably say to their children to soothe them when they’re growing up.
(Paul McCartney about Golden Slumbers (1969), The Lyrics, 2021)
It became a refuge of sorts, and it was nice to get away from London and everything – both the good and bad – that comes with the city. I would drive a Massey Ferguson 315 tractor and mow the hay, and I loved that because I’d been a nature fiend as a kid, and this freedom just gave me time to think – ‘Down to Junior's Farm where I want to lay low’. It was such a relief to get out of those business meetings with people in suits, who were so serious all the time, and to go off to Scotland and be able just to sit around in a T-shirt and corduroys. I was very much in that mindset when I wrote this song. The basic message is, let’s get out of here. You might say it’s my post-Beatles getting-out-of-town song.
(Paul McCartney about Junior's Farm (1974), The Lyrics, 2021)
The context in which the song was written was one of stress. It was a difficult time because we were heading towards the breakup of The Beatles. It was a period of change partly because John and Yoko had got together, and that had an effect on the dynamics of the group. Yoko was literally in the middle of the recording session, and that was challenging. But it was also something we had to deal with. Unless there was a really serious problem – unless one of us said, ‘I can’t sing with her there’ – we just had to let it be. We weren’t very confrontational, so we just bottled it up and got on with it. We were northern lads, and that was part of our culture. Grin and bear it. One interesting thing about ‘Let It Be’ that I was reminded of only recently is that, while I was studying English literature at the Liverpool Institute High School for Boys with my favourite teacher, Alan Durband, I read Hamlet. In those days you had to learn speeches by heart because you had to be able to carry them into the exam and quote them. There are a couple of lines from late in the play: O, I could tell you But let it be. – Horatio, I am dead I suspect those lines had subconsciously planted themselves in my memory. When I was writing ‘Let It Be’, I’d been doing too much of everything, was run ragged, and this was all taking its toll. The band, me we were all going through times of trouble, as the song goes, and there didn’t seem to be any way out of the mess. <…> Around the time we recorded ‘Let It Be’, I’d been pushing the band to go back out and play some club dates – to get back to basics and just bond again as a band, end the decade like we’d begun it, just playing for the love of it. We didn’t get to do that as The Beatles, but that idea did inform the direction of the Let It Be album. We didn’t want any studio trickery. It was supposed to be an honest, no-overdubbing album. It didn’t exactly end up that way, but that had been the plan.
(Paul McCartney about Let It Be (1969), The Lyrics, 2021)
This song is also an analogy for when something goes wrong out of the blue, as I was beginning to find happening around this time in our business dealings. Recording sessions were always good because no matter what our personal troubles were, no matter what was happening on the business front, the minute we sat down to make a song we were in good shape. Right until the end there was always a great joy in working together in the studio. So there we were, recording a song like ‘Maxwell’s Silver Hammer’ and knowing we would never have the opportunity to perform it. That possibility was over. It had been knocked on the head like one of Maxwell’s victims. Bang bang.
(Paul McCartney about Maxwell's Silver Hammer (1969), The Lyrics, 2021)
In much the way that Linda wanted to flee from New York society– the constrictions of Park Avenue and Scarsdale – I wanted to flee from what The Beatles had become. I was hoping to escape, she was hoping to escape. So we had this feeling that we had each pulled the other ‘out of time’. Though the song was written immediately after The Beatles’ breakup, it was somehow included under the Lennon-McCartney rubric, where it doesn’t belong. It was one of my first solo songs, but because of the deal, it got caught in the publishing net. That was very annoying. <…> …the central idea being that there’s so often a split between the inner and outer. <…> The elements of fear and loneliness are very much to the fore. ‘Maybe I’m afraid of the way I love you’ is itself a troubling idea. While it’s true that Linda is the person I’m addressing, it’s also true that I’m dealing in fiction. Starting with myself, the characters who appear in my songs are imagined. <…> In any event, this song isn’t the conventional way of presenting a relationship, or of some of the contradictions that can arise from being in love. <…> It shows the fragility of love.
(Paul McCartney about Maybe I’m Amazed (1970), The Lyrics, 2021)
John went to the exhibition, and I think that was when he and Yoko met, towards the end of 1966. He climbed up a ladder to see what she’d written on the ceiling, and got close enough to it to read it, and it said, ‘Yes.’ So he thought, ‘That’s a sign; this is it,’ and they fell madly in love. Once they were an item, there was the whole Beatles recording thing, where she would be there too. I think this started at the beginning of the ‘White Album’ sessions – so, around the end of spring in 1968. And at first we all – all of us except John – found it pretty intrusive, but we went along with it and worked around her. And eventually I came to the realisation that, look, if John loves her, we’ve just got to let it be, and we’ve got to support this relationship. That was basically my feeling. Then, a year or two later, The Beatles broke up, and it was a bad period, a real low point, where everyone was taking potshots at everyone. And I felt that John and Yoko were particularly good in the potshot department, saying things in interviews, or comments that would make their way to you. They would say not always very pleasant things, and looking back on it, I sort of think, ‘Why? You’re annoyed, so say something unpleasant?’ Over time, the situation eased off and my relationship with John got better, and I used to see him in New York or speak to him on the phone.
(Paul McCartney about Golden Earth Girl (1993), The Lyrics, 2021)
I’m not sure I thought of it at the time, even though this was well after The Beatles disbanded, but I can’t help connecting the oppressiveness associated with that phrase to the oppressiveness that coincided with the end of The Beatles. Not that The Beatles are over exactly. It’s not like we were some little band that never had another record; even though half of us have died, the phenomenon continues stronger than ever. Everything I do seems to be painted with ‘Beatle’…
(Paul McCartney about Put It There (1988), The Lyrics, 2021)
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