#nevermind how unbelievably racist it is as well

[eorzeashan]

lol @ my parents and specifically my dad being so brainwashed by capitalism that every country that didn't subscribe to its system was always poor and deserved to be and the global south was never ramsacked by america or had any cia coups and i'm making it all up and capitalism is a good and pure system and the incredibly skewed and corrupt and incorrect view of communism they have because of traumatic personal experience is the only fact and ONLY type of communism to ever exist which makes them more qualified to talk about it than thousands of authors and teachers who have both experienced and studied it in an unbiased way for decades with entire degrees. I hate capitalism and the way its poisoned my parents minds so thoroughly that the entire idea of capitalism being a system that everyone is born under and forced to participate in with inherently unfair advantages is impossible to fathom. surely america is just rich because the system works and we were only self sufficient! BECAUSE WE PLUNDERED EVERYONE ELSE?

[love-sapphirerose]

Yashahime: Princess Half-Demon Episode 19

https://www.animenewsnetwork.com/review/yashahime-princess-half-demon/episode-19/.169235

Similar to the last time Yashahime gave Moroha something substantial to do, the insidious stupidity of “Princess Aya's Beniyasha Hunting” can only be truly appreciated if I just describe the events of the story in chronological order. Given the crummy vives that the preview gave off, I don't think anyone was expecting much more than a cheap detour from this episode, but I'll be damned of this series doesn't continue to impress with how little of a shit it gives about being good, or even mediocre, or hell, even functional. And before we dig into this post-mortem, I'd like to field any defenses that people might make about Yashahime being meant more for kids, and thus shouldn't be taken seriously. For one, this is a decades-in-the-making sequel to one of the most popular anime ever, so don't act like the show shouldn't have something to offer for fans whose ages can be counted with more than one digit. Also, y'all know that crappy kids' entertainment still sucks, right? It doesn't just get a free pass for being made with younger viewers in mind. Nobody in their right mind is going to argue that stuff like Avatar the Last Airbender or Steven Universe should be judged at the same level as Caillou, for Pete's sake.

Anyway, “Princess Aiya's Beniyasha Hunting” commits the gravest sin that any work of art can commit, in that it is a completely pointless waste of time that takes the precious minutes of existence that its viewers have been afforded on this earth and just flushes them straight down the toilet. I, dear reader, respect your lives much more than Yashahime ever will, so I'm going to dispense with the “twists” and lay it all out in order: Way back in Episode 1/7, when the girls busted into Hiiragi Dango's place to rescue Towa, they brushed by his daughter, Aya, and got a speck of mud on her kimono. Being a literal psychopath, young Aya then hatched an elaborate scheme to trick the girls and get her revenge: She recruited a band of mercenaries and forced Jyubei to sell Moroha's services as well, and then she established the false pretext of recruiting demon slayers to her father's employment to lure Hisui and his two nameless buddies into fighting the mercs in a big, competitive battle.

These mercenaries are cartoonish morons, and one of them, Lady, is a pretty offensive homophobic/transphobic/maybe-even-racist stereotype, but in one of this episode's few saving graces, it's actually hard to get all that mad about it, because these goofs are pointless and don't really do anything. They spend all night building a wooden façade of a castle on the battlefield for…some reason, and then they all sort of disappear once the firebombs start dropping. No, the demon slayers know that Moroha is the only one that really needs to be taken seriously as a threat, so they recruit Setsuna to aid them, leading to a cousin-vs-cousin showdown for the ages!

Except that obviously isn't what happens, because even though Setsuna and Hisui suck, they're not awful enough to be completely on board with burning InuYasha's kid alive in the middle of a field for the sake of some half-cocked job interview. No, we eventually learn that Moroha and the slayers were in cahoots all along, since they figured they could throw the fight and earn enough cash from the not-actually-real job offer for everyone to profit. Sure, the slayers apparently didn't even tell Moroha about the very real volley of firebombs they'd be tossing her way, but who's keeping track of neglectful homicide attempts amongst friends and family, eh?

It's that throughline of “not telling your teammates the most basic and necessary information” that really sinks this episode, which was already a bummer to begin with. Nevermind Hisui and Setsuna almost turning Moroha into barbecue; the big dramatic turn of the story occurs when Setsuna and Moroha both agree to not tell Towa about the fixed battle because…she's a bad liar, I guess? Except Moroha is the one that lets slip about the battle in the first place, and I don't know why anyone would assume that keeping Towa in the dark would be easier than just explaining that the fight is rigged, nobody is getting hurt, and so on. Even if you bought that silly excuse, the episode still doesn't make any goddamned sense, because once Towa predictably gets mixed up in the fight anyways and mistakes Setsuna's “acting” for real aggression, nobody bothers to just explain what's going on then, either! The episode establishes that Aya can't hear anything they say from her little tower, so why keep up the charade? And how is any of this easier than one of the girls just telling Towa, “Hey, we're going to scam the spoiled daughter of that guy who kidnapped you out of some money by faking a battle. If you want in, cool, but if you can't keep up the ruse, just, like, hang out here this afternoon or something. We'll be back in a few hours, tops.”

It's just so unbelievably lame, and it's the kind of plot that is doubly frustrating because it depends entirely on characters withholding important information for no reason other than to cheaply manufacture some consequence-free drama. Also, remember how the whole setup for the battle was a lie, anyways? Yeah, Kohaku shows up out of nowhere to explain to Aya that he knew the whole thing was a waste of time, except he didn't tell his own crew of demon slayers this because…he wanted them to learn a lesson?

To recap: Aya, a character we've never met, goes to insane lengths to deceive Hisui, a cardboard cutout that we do not care about, in order to double deceive (and possibly kill) Moroha, all on account of that one time she got some dirt on Aya's clothes. Then, Moroha, Setsuna, and Hisui attempt to trick Aya, which ends up being a waste of time since they already fell for Aya's initial trick, and there's a bunch of needless drama with Towa because everyone made a conscious decision to also trick her, even though she probably would have been able to allow the secretly useless and entirely overcomplicated ruse-within-a-ruse to go off without a hitch, if only she had she known what was happening in the first place. Takechiyo even gets in on the action by tricking Towa into thinking Moroha got horribly murdered in her arms. Why? Who the hell knows! Maybe it's because Takechiyo just gets off on psychologically abusing teenaged girls. I'd buy it. Just look at the little creep.

Throw in some harmful stereotypes and a hilariously clunky last-minute scene where Towa gets all tearful over Moroha's safety – despite definitely not giving a crap all those times that Moroha was in actual danger – and there you have it: “Princess Aya's Beniyasha Hunting.” No, Moroha does not transform into Beniyasha. Yes, I'm just as mad about all of this as you are. The only reason this episode is getting a two-star rating is because there's a funny bit where Moroha plays along with the bounty hunters' silly entrance-theme bit. I'm giving it one extra start for making me laugh exactly once. That might be damning Yashahime with faint praise, but with nineteen episodes down and only a handful to go, I'm afraid that faint praise is just about the only good thing Yashahime can hope to earn at this point.

[lulawiththesnakes]

The whole way the Amber Heard vs Johny Depp issue has been treated by Tumblr and media in general is straight our UNbelievable. The claims people make hold so little ground it’s mindblowing that you people even dare make them. 

Like, come on!

One, people claiming people believe Amber just because she is a woman. Like, first almost NOBODY believed her, like, you scroll down over post after post of people claiming that one, they never believed her and two, that everybody else did. Like, come on, be self-aware for once. And second, to claim people believe her (they don’t) because she IS a woman. Are you people blind? Do you have any idea of how difficult for a claim of abuse to pass is? Nobody believes women. Never. Women need tons of evidence: video, photos, audios, before their claims are even acknowledged, and you’re all out here pretending her womanhood is the only thing going for her. Smh. 

Like, this is textbook. An abused woman not being believed. Being gaslighted into believeing she is the abuser instead. An abuser claiming he’s actually the abused one because his abusee dared not cowtow to his every wish. Give me a break. An abuser claiming the abusee cheats on or wants to cheat on him. Puh-lease. 

Two, people claiming men’s lives (especially Depp’s) can be ruined by women’s claims. Are you kidding me? Depp got role after role after Amber’s statements (he made 2 movies in 2010, 2 in 2011, 1 in 2012, 2 in 2013, 3 in 2014, 2 in 2015 and suddenly, after Amber’s accusations: 4 in 2016, 2 in 2017,  4 in 2018 --just to make it clear - 10 in 5 years before the accusations, 10 in 3 years after, hardly the career of a “cancelled man”). Yes, they took away Jack Sparrow, but those movies were a trainwreck waiting to happen (On Stranger Tides made little more than half of what Dead man’s chest did, and Dead Men Tell No Tales made even less). Rebooting them is about money, not solely about Depp’s career, and claiming otherwise is completely disingenuous. Women’s accusations against men rarely, if ever, make any dent on men’s careers, and when they do it’s exceptional enough that people seem to believe the world itself has turned upside down and that women should shut up now and stop talking because somehow several women against one man finally having a consequence is “going too far” (80+ for Weinstein and 60 for Cosby. That’s how many women are needed to make a real life-altering effect on a man’s career. Take a minute to reflect on that).  

Three, claiming that believeing Heard is going against male sufferers of abuse. Fuck you. I don’t believe Johny Depp is an abuse victim. That’s it. I think, in fact, he’s a text-book manipulator, who can’t help but try and show Heard who’s in control after she had finally regained some sense of it. I believe he decided, three years on, when he finally started to see that he was not on top of it as he believed, to ground on on her, refusing to let go of his hold on her. 

When they divorced, it was agreed on that “neither had lied”, i.e., Amber had told the truth. They had a settlement in which he agreed to give her 7 million, and she pledged to donate them to charity. Mind you, she didn’t have to, it was her money and it had been given to her. Regardless, in an I’m-in-control-here move, she never touched a penny. Depp donated it, in her name, directly to charity, and nothing screams abuse and being obsessed about control as much as that move. Whether she should or would have given that money to charity is not the point here. What he did is. He took that decision away from her in a very deliverate movement, and claiming otherwise is asinine.  

You know who’s actual career suffered from the whole affair? Amber’s, not Depp’s. From 2010 to 2015 she’d been in 15 movies and 1 TV show. Then suddenly, 2016, she lost movie roles (which were recast),  and has since gotten 5 movie roles and one tv show one. And it wasn’t until now (March, 2019), when she recovered herself with Aquaman and came on top, that Depp decided to counterattack, only three months after she was both upheld as an ambassador of women’s rights, getting positive representation for once and her movie (aquaman) did well in box office and with the critics (kind of). Doesn’t that say anything to you? Doesn’t that speak to you about his need to not let her succeed and make her know she’s under HIS thumb?

Four, people keep claiming she’s a convicted abuser. What? Her ex, as Johny’s (btw, but somehow this only seems to matter when it’s his exes that defend him, nevermind that abusers don’t abuse everyone, just their victims, and that one of their main traits is how charming they can come across as most of the time, while victims are usually the less well-liked party, as they are traumatized by the abuse and can come across as unstable), has come out and claimed it was all a misunderstanding, that they were actually victims of discrimination, since they were a wlw couple. 

Five, well, there’s no five. Just know that your attempts to undermine feminists and the #metoo movement just to defend a racist and downthrodden actor just because he happens to be a man, are transparent to a lot of us, and that you’re being completely hipocritical. Depp is far from the actor he was when he filmed Finding Neverland, the Secret Window and Sleepy Hollow. 

[theabominableblogger]

My Reaction to “The Shape of Water”

Hoooo... my body is ready....

*scats along with the FOX theme*

“A Double Dare You Production.”  Del Toro created a slight breach of ettiquette by skipping the single dare and going right for the throat!

Oh this music is so pretty!

That’s it.  I’m downloading the OST like right now

“A Guillermo Del Toro film”  Wooooo!!

They made this movie with only a $19.5 million budget and holy crap it looks amazing

DOUG JONES!!!

I would love to live in Eliza’s apartment, oh my gosh...

WAIT, IS THAT “THE TEN COMMANDMENTS” ?!?

OK, there’s a timer... oh my Gooodd no way...

I mean, at least they address it in not a negative manner.  You do you.

DO YOU EVER JUST DIE INSIDE AFTER SAYING A THING?!?

“Time is but a flowing river to our past.”

I like how roomy and kinda cozy Eliza’s apartment is.

The dude [Giles] has two different sets of glasses...

Shirley Temple!

*Eliza starts tap-dancing in the hall*  Oh my gosh I love this movie already

Boy, there is only one “s” in “Mardi Gras.”  Do you not know French?

I love how much green there is in this movie.

These sets are great

This movie just used the term “What in the Sam Hill.”  That’s awesome.

Michael Shannon!

*in best Zod voice*  I WILL FIND HIM!

Did they use whale noises for the Asset?

All the old cars!  All of them!

Wait, is the Richard Jenkins character crushing on the cashier at the pie place?  Oh my gosh, that’s cute.

What’s so wrong with the key lime pie?  Personally, I don’t like pie myself but was there a reason it kinda looked off?

Ginger Rogers?

That horse suit looks horrifying

The colors in this movie are great.  I love when movies are color-coordinated.

It’s like del Toro’s been reading my movie wish list.

That’s an odd looking soap dispenser.

Why is Strickland peeing right in front of them?

“A man washes his hands before or after tending to his needs.  That tells you a lot about that man.  He does it both times?  Points to a weakness of character.”  That’s some insane troll logic

“Short people are mean.”  To quote my sister “Well we are closer to Satan”

Is that... Strickland...

WHAAAA DID HE LOSE HIS FINGERS?!?!?

Oh my God, there’s so much blood!

ARE THOSE FINGERS?!?!?  OH MY GODDDDDD

AAAAAHHHH!!!

If everyone’s being so secretive about the Asset, why did they leave him in a tank out in the open for Eliza and Octavia to see?

“It’s not bad, isn’t it, for being shit.”  LITERALLY MY MENTALITY WHEN IT COMES TO DOING ART

THIS MOVIE IS SPEAKING TO MY SOUL OH MY GOD

“That’s the future now:  green.”  Soylent Green?

The prosthetics on @actordougjones look freaking awesome

Did the Asset just fold some of its fins back to look more human to Eliza?

*signs along with Eliza when she says she’s cleaning*

DID THEY SEW HIS FINGERS BACK ONTO HIS HAND?!?!?  OH MY GOD NO WHY?!?!?

“All those scars on your neck...”  They look like gills...

Michael Shannon’s American accent is actually really good, I gotta say.

*The Asset signs “egg”*  Oh my gosh....  :D

Oh my gosh, all the yellow!

Everyone in Strickland’s family is super gravitated toward Strickland and it’s super uncomfortable

Noooooo....... NOOOOOOOOOOO.....

Oh thank God, the scene’s over

Aaahh, he [the Asset] just said hello!

:D

They’re eating lunch together... this is unbelievably cute...

*uncontrollable smiling*

Oooohhh wipe transition!

Wait, is that Russian?

Yellow!  Yellow again!

Why are the Russians interested in the Asset?

So is Eliza always late to her job because she has to spend time with Rosie Palms?  Now that’s commitment.

Shoot, the egg!

Oh crap, it’s Strickland!

*flinches when the Asset gets electrocuted*

Wait, so the Americans want to use the Asset to win the Space Race against the Russians?

Why do I recognize the guy who plays General Hoyt?

Oh, Dmitri....

I really gotta applaud Sally Hawkins here.  She’s freaking fantastic in this movie.

“When he looks at me, he doesn’t know what I lack... or how I am incomplete.  He just sees me for what I am, as I am.  And he is happy to see me, every time.”  That bit of dialogue is amazing.

Oh crap, it’s not key lime pie.  Something’s up.

Oh, the cashier’s both a racist and a homophobe.  He no good to anybody.

Oh, that’s a nice Cadillac...

I like how they made all the cars look super shiny in this movie

*jams out to “Chica Chica Boom Chic”*

Are those pain pills?

“I [Strickland] keep thinking about you [Eliza].”  EEUUUGGGHHH NOO!!

God, what a despicable character [Strickland]

There’s a poster that says “Loose Lips Might Sink Ships” in the locker room

Strickland’s reading a book called “The Power of Positive Thinking”

Is Dmitri gonna help them out?  Yay!

Richard Jenkins freaking out over the Asset is totally me

Ahhhh, not the Cadillac!

The dude at the Cadillac dealership called Strickland a “man of the future” and his Cadillac- the sign of the future- was just destroyed.  I see what you did there, del Toro.

It’s probably just me, but I can tell it’s definitely Doug Jones in the fish suit.

He just has these really meticulous hand movements and the way he kinda tilts his head to look at things is also a give away

Aaawwww, she got him [the Asset] a card!!!!

What does “MP” stand for?

I like that all the drawings of the Asset are done in charcoal when all of Richard Jenkins’ other art pieces are done in color.

How come no one is commenting on how smelly Strickland’s hands at this point?  They sewed the dude’s fingers back on and they already establish that his hygiene isn’t stellar so shouldn’t he be suffering necrosis there already?

SHE TOLD HIM “EFF YOU” IN ASL!  I AM LIVING!

*The Asset finds Giles’ charcoal drawings of him*  That’s it.  You convinced me, movie.  I gotta do some art for this.

Is that Mr. Ed?

Yes.  Yes it is.

DON’T EAT THE CAT!  DON’T EAT THE CAT!

HE ATE THE CAAAT!!!

Crap crap craaaaaappp!!

Wait, the dude that plays Dmitri is also in Doctor Strange!

That movie’s gotta be “The Ten Commandments”

Oh this whistling music!

HE’S PLAYING WITH THE CATS!  OH MY GOD!

LET HIM PLAY WITH THE KITTIES!

What?  He’s glow in the dark?

What is he [Strickland] eating?

Oh my God is this it?

OH THEY CUT?!?

“Why you [Eliza] smiling, hon?”  Cause she went and got it

*Eliza tells Zelda that the Asset has a junk*   AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

OH MY GOD I’M SCREAMING!

ZELDA’S FACE OH MY GOD!

Ooh, is that marble cake?

Let the man enjoy his cake!

Is that Gilligan’s Island?  Nope, nevermind.

YELLOW!

*Strickland tries sniffing his fingers*  OHHHH, WHO CALLED THE NECROSIS?!?

That’s right, me about fifteen bullet points ago!

AAAAAAGGGGHHH!!!

Noooo they’re flooding the bathroom to do it!

They’re gonna be flooding the theater below!

Oh snap, he [Giles] has hair!

They gonna do it underwater?!?

BOY [Giles] NO DON’T GO IN THERE!

Close the door!  Thank you!

It’s raining....

Strickland’s secretary must be putting up with the mightiest of bullshits from him

This movie really likes to foreshadow Strickland dying at the end of this movie

YO HIS [Strickland’s] FINGERS ARE BLACK!  YOU ARE NOT IN A GOOD SITUATION, DUDE!

Why did they sew his fingers back on in the first place?!?

“Life is but the shipwreck of our plans.”

Awwww, he [the Asset] smiled at her!

TELL HIM [the Asset] YOU [Eliza] LOVE HIM!

*jaw utterly drops during the dream dance sequence*

Please tell me somewhere in the production notes, they said “OK Doug, you gotta be able to dance in the fish suit.  Now go!”

My sister:  Definitely an improvement on *in best Guillermo del Toro voice*  “‘Happy birthday, Doug!  We’re gonna string you up by your balls!’“

*claps hands after every word*  THAT IS HOW YOU DREAM SEQUENCE!!

Uggghhhh, that was so good!

PUT HIM [the Asset] BACK IN THE WATER!

The sound design for this movie is really good too.  Like holy crap.

*imitates Michael Shannon saying “Shut up”*

*beat boxes to the windshield wipers*

Wait, did they [the Russian agents] just shoot Dmitri?!?

*Strickland comes to the rescue strangely*  Oh wow, OK.. oh my Goddd!

*Strickland sticks his finger through the bullet wound in Dmitri’s cheek*  AAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHH!

OK, Michael Shannon needs to play villains like this.  Pronto.

*actually screams* OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH MY GODDD!

Did he [Strickland] just leave his fingers on the floor of Zelda’s house?!?

*Giles and the Asset say goodbye*  Aaawww....

*You and me together*   Ohhhhhh my Goddd!!!

*Strickland shoots Eliza*  NOOOOOOOO!!!!!

NOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Boy [the Asset], get back up!

Whoooo, go Giles!

Whaaaaattt?!?!?

*The Asset slits Strickland’s throat*  Whoooooooo!!!!

Oh, wait, this is the scene with the shot!

[The Asset kisses Eliza]  *softly* Damn....

Oh my gosh, that hug!

[slowly melts to the floor] *softly, with feeling*  That was such a good movie!

[invisiblefoxfire]

Gotham Season 3 Episode 3: Look Into My Eyes

Hello, World's Greasiest Hypnotist!

Mr. Tetch.

Tetch.

Mister. Tetch.

Right. Yeah. Fine.

baby brucie is just as unbelievable as a street urchin as he is as a genius businessman/grizzled cop. and so is his fucking wig.

i can't figure out what the fuck alfred is supposed to be. why the fuck is he using cockney rhyming slang out of nowhere in a conversation with his posh american boymaster?

i don't know how much of snobby reporter lady and slovenly bad boy gordon i can take. everything about each one of them is disgusting, and the two of them together is even more disgusting.

random big nostril lady from the dramatic end of last episode is now in the police station and fat boss man is trying to get her to rejoin the force! who the fuck is she? is this gross bachelor jim's ex? ok yeah for sure she is, as is established in the world's most awkwardly-written dialogue ever.

her name is "lee". this show is dogshit garbage about giving you character names at the appropriate time.

greasy hypnotist comin in your mansion to... steal your valuables? nah jk he gonna make you kill your wife and then yourself and then take over your home while he jerks off over a photo of his sister. GRITTY.

who is this girl now? why is racist stereotype yelling at her about rent and trying to rape her? ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew oh okay he died instantly that's fine, i am fine with people who try to rape young girls just instantly dying

what is the fucking system in this city, why is "the politicians should be legally elected" the devious plan of the bad guy?

greasy hypnotist givin slimeboy gordon a lot of money to hunt down his sister

spiky penguin is running for office against richard kind. fuck it yeah, sure, great, spectacular.

nothing like a little teen romance written by people who have no memories of what it was like to be a teenager. oh no it looks like emo clonebrucey is preparing to take over real baby brucey's life! he is training himself to talk like a posh weirdo.

what exactly are the rules in this show about when a blow to the head knocks you unconscious vs when it just gives you a headache? nevermind i don't know what i'm thinking asking a stupid fucking question like that.

did he just nod his head while he was getting his fucking scalp stitched together i... is his wifebeater on backwards...

ah shit racist stereotype didn't actually die he just went crazy. well, he's dead now.

emo bruceclone cut his own hair to look like real life baby bruce! and as a person who cuts my own hair regularly, it is indeed extremely easy to give yourself a perfect, clean rich boy haircut, sure. absolutely.

"when i count down from three you will find me irresistible" *entire crowd laughs, how hilarious to sexually assault a senseless woman, how delightful* well she nearly killed him with a broken bottle, GOOD.

oh no bad boy gordon is getting too close to the truth, better hypnotize him against his will and get him to kill himself which is fully not how hypnotism works

everyone and everything in this series is unlikable and unpleasant. it is going to be worth it. alexander siddig is coming and his character is going to be the best i just know it

[jaewvns-blog]

im spitting and screaming into the mf VOID!!! i cannot believe im out here .. rly out here thrivin and ready to give u all my one Love my one life my jb Voice one Heart . my name is bella n you can call me That Bitch for short, i reside in the pst, & im ready to truly do the most w my extra son jae honestly ? kick me out already. im bout to activity check my own ass! no but really i’m so excited and so ? sorry for the shit im about to stir so hold on tight for the wild mcfucking ride and smash that read more

[ MUSE J ] is that PARK JIMIN? since when was he a class of 2017 penn state graduate? oh, wait, nevermind, it’s just JAEWON “JAE” JEE. he’s TWENTY ONE years old, majored in PSYCHOLOGY, and SAYS HE WANTS DONTTRUSTME BY 3OH!3 PLAYED ON A LOOP AT HIS FUNERAL. he’s a bit RECALCITRANT and STOIC, but also very CONCILIATORY and ADROIT. i heard he’s off to a villa in maui with a group of his friends, but as the resident REVELER, who knows how far he’ll go until his friend vacation turns into total island madness? (cis male, bisexual)

jae was always born from a different breed?? thats so lame to say but its so real bc he was nothing like his family . given that he was an only child, his parents directed a lot of attention and time toward him to give him not only a fulfilling childhood but also live vigorously through him which could get so ugly sometimes. they were, as they would put it, “going to be damned if he wasn’t successful in something.”

he was an introverted kid, so they were always forcing him to be social and forcing him into tons of different sports and performing arts in hopes that he would find his knack. jae was young, but he wasn’t stupid and he knew that their intentions weren’t entirely to make him happy but rather make them feel like fulfilled parents. but luckily, throughout all of this, he ended up finding his passion on his own while waiting for his violin lesson. he could hear from outside a room an adult during their own piano lesson and he was so enthralled and enchanted by the sound of the music that he was like yo what the FUCK!!!!

so, in a very jee family way, they immediately put him into lessons and jae fucking fell in love with it. he was so passionate about it that he would eat sleep and shit fuckin piano it was all he wanted to do ever. and honestly ?? the more he matured the better he became. he was a born natural and it was something that made him genuinely happy, something that he wanted to pursue professionally on his own. he knew that by the age of 12

but by the age of 18 that was all ruined

filling in that time gap, things got progressively more difficult for jae. he ( in attempts to make his parents happier ) let them guide his line of sight towards particular majors that he could take up. his parents saw education as a better opportunity for success than a professional piano player did. it was incredibly ironic considering they had so willingly tossed him into the lessons in the first place, but jae had learned from a very young age that his parents were walking contradictions. they would knock him down, making comparisons to the two on whether or not he wanted to be “a lowlife playing piano in old restaurants” or “be unbelievably successful within a realistic career.” it was cold, but jae was used to it. he had to accept those words in order to stay in lessons so he kept his mouth shut for years.

however, pressure between his parents and peers was something always cracking away at him. as he grew up, his talent growing with him, he wasn’t as introverted anymore and instead cocky. he knew he was good and he knew he was attractive because of he thrived off the attention. 

his father died of cancer when he was 16 which was a cruel reality check. it reminded him that everything is temporary and only lit an fire under his mothers ass to be mean as fuck. she threatened to take away his piano lessons if he didn’t become more serious about schooling because she felt he owed it to his father. so, reluctantly, he accepted his fate and did exactly that. it was around that time that jae started forcing himself to show more interest in school ( i.e. he stopped ditching classes, put forth more effort into his grades, etc ). despite how reluctant he always was to actually attend school and willingly advance, once he actually tried, his grades were impeccable. so impeccable, in fact, that high-end colleges started to take notice of him for not only his schooling but his capabilities on the piano as well.

not only was he cocky, he was getting noticed and it was was infuriating. things didn’t really heat up until the end of his senior year when he aced his audition for juilliard and quickly became the schools golden senior. sure, it infuriated a lot of his classmates out of spite and jealousy, but it didn’t piss anyone off more than it did for a kid named andrew . he HATED jae with a burning passion . he was jealous, he was racist, and he was evil. it didn’t faze jae until one night in particular that andrew and his gang of white devils figured out his schedule after following him around and cornered him

in summary, they beat the fucking shit out of him. he tried to put up a fight of course, but he was out numbered. they broke one of his ribs, bruised him up, but more importantly they took a baseball bat to his hand. multiple times. they destroyed it, and it was the beginning of the end

after being hospitalized, he found out he had to get surgery in his right hand which required a metal rod that replaced a bone entirely because of how shattered it was . it would have been fine, of course, if it didn’t throw piano out the window for him, which obviously, it did. the break in his hand was life changing because it’s a battle he still has to face even years later. about two years after he received the initial surgery, he had to get another one to fuse the arthritis that set in. 

he was fucking miserable and was forced to relive the thought every day in rehab, every painkiller he took, and every moment he spent in his room. at only the age of 18, he was mortified, heartbroken and angry. the reminder was too much to bare, making him sometime later take a baseball bat, ironically, to the piano which rested in the corner of his room. his mother tried to seek him help, the rehab center for his hand tried to sick therapists on him, but he never wanted to talk about it. he became cold and resigned and it changed who he was entirely

eventually, his mother gave up and their relationship went stale entirely. however, it wasn’t much of a loss for jae because he didn’t see much of a relationship between them in the first place. after a summer spent in recovery, he became an incredibly cold and resigned person for about a year and a half. it changed his personality and impacted a lot of his relationships negatively. when he was accepted into penn state, he remained pretty aloof from his classmates, lowkey gaining a reputation among his peers that obviously wasn’t that great. he was a heartbreaker and an asshole, and it wasn’t until he met muses c & k that he began to change as a human being. they were just overall really detrimental in bringing out the normal, functioning and kind human being that was in jaewon originally.

now, he’s honestly??? SO FUNNY SDLFJ like hes such a witty smart ass n he’s just so beautiful and always looking for a thrill and a party in everything he does. this trip is a positive thing for him because it’s giving him an opportunity to be with some of his closest friends and really grow and give him an excuse to be free-spirited. sometimes he .. wylin a little too hard but he means well and he’s just my son Okay

I RLY DID TRY AND MAKE THIS SHORTER HELPPEP im so embarassed but um ... if u actually read all of that ? a saint and if u don’t just tell me and ill try my best to sum it up w/o crytyping but ummmm m im a slut for plots so plot w me before i drop dead n ??? delete me blog