jaewvns-blog

[jaewvns-blog]

grahamfr:

watching his boyfriend with worried eyes, graham’s gaze traveled from the wreck that he was expressing himself to be towards the paper he was filling out in the kitchen. he let the rambling continue before adding in his own words. as he would go to open his mouth, he would reply with a quiet sigh. his replies would be a mixture of expressions,  ranging from knitted brows to his jaw dropping slightly at the misfortune at the others expense. he picked up the papers and walked himself over to sit beside him, “i have a lot of questions,” graham’s eyes focused back on the paper as his pen moved across it once again, “babe, why didn’t you sleep?” his lacking the usual charming tone, “two, who said drinking that much coffee was a good idea?” he paused his writing to look at him now. “god you look like a mess, i mean that in a good way but you look like a mess.” graham reached over to tilt jae’s face to one side to see how tired he really looked. “it happens because you’re out of it and because you don’t sleep, idiot.” he dropped his hand and picked up the pen once more, as he waved it he gave some thought into his stained shirt. “we have those stain removal pods, just go pop it in right now and when you do that, you’re going to give me a solid reason as to why you weren’t asleep.” he lapsed his hand around jae’s thigh and forced a smile to his face despite his look expressing concern.

jaewon’s gaze softened at the sight of graham, a heavy sigh expelling from his lungs as he prepared himself for the plethora of questions that would ensue. with his eyes screwed shut on the couch, he could only peep through one eye at his boyfriend as an invitation to spill before closing them once more initially, jae could only offer a shrug, his own brows knitted thoughtfully as he sifted through the many reasons that sleep couldn’t come to him. “every time i try it just doesn’t happen.” he opted simply, shoulders bobbing in a shrug. “the first cup didn’t do anything, so i tried drinking another, and another, and another ...” his voice droned on, finally opening his eyes to meet graham’s concerned gaze. “you can guess where that took me. i thought the more i drank the faster it would work. guess you can blame getting no sleep on that one.” jaewon teased, his tone airy with his familiar humor. “thank you so much for the reassurance. i don’t think there’s a way for that to be good, but i appreciate the honesty.” he lightheartedly quipped, offering tired eyes as he grinned at the boy who approached. “i’ll do it in a little, i’m comfortable right now.” he insisted, sinking further into the couch as he reached forward to rest his own hand on graham’s, looking down at his shirt with a deep sigh. “how about we ignore the fact that i didn’t sleep, and you tell me about your day instead. please tell me it’s been better than mine.” 

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evangjcli:

“ okay, not gonna lie, i’m freaking out a little, ” she confessed, running a shaky hand through her hair. although embarrassed anyone witnessed her mistake, she was grateful she wasn’t alone. vera knew that if she were on her own, the situation would be even more chaotic. “ r.i.p. chicken, ” she frowned, her gaze glued to what could have been a culinary masterpiece. “ this smoke alarm is so distracting, ” she complained, turning her head in every which direction in order to locate it. “ ugh, how do i shut this off ? ” she asked. “ umm, well, i didn’t really get much sleep last night. i was out til pretty late and like…i didn’t set a timer. i don’t know ! i just fell asleep at the counter, ” she said, pointing to the spot. “ this–this could happen to anyone, okay ? like, you could fall asleep cooking chicken, too, ” vera replied in a lame attempt to defend herself.

" only a little ? i’m freaking out a lot. won’t we get kicked out if we set this stupid place on fire any more ? ” he snorted, his humor masking the evident panic that flushed his cheeks. at her reference to the chicken, he could only place his hands on his hips, letting out a rather theatric huff before expelling a laugh so vibrant it briefly pierced the relentless fire alarm. “ i’d rather the chicken dead than all of us. i know we've made jokes about murdering people in the villas, but this is a step too close. ” jae mused, forehead crinkling in thought as he looked around to locate the alarm himself. “ don’t we just have to press a button on it ? get on top of the counter. ” he insisted, resting his hand on her shoulder to turn her physique toward the alarm while simultaneously pointing in its direction. “ this could happen to anyone, but it’s even funnier that it happened to you, so if you think i’ll let you live this down you’re sadly mistaken. maybe we were better off burning in the fire. ”

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benjamihn:

“that’s even worse!” benjamin exclaimed, eyes widening in shock that, of course, was fake. at jae’s dramatics at being touched, the older boy had to smother back a smile. “you shouldn’t frown like that, your face will get stuck.” he commented dryly, “trust me, i’m a nurse.” benji said before rolling his eyes. “my hair is healthy, just because i don’t spend an ungodly amount of time on it doesn’t mean it’s not.” he mocked in return. “careful,” benjamin hummed then, sighing. “keep getting that attitude with me and i might decide to dump you in the ocean with the other little shrimp." 

"cry about it!” jaewon fired back instantaneously, his own tone mocked in resemblance to benjamin’s. “even if it gets stuck it’ll be prettier than yours. i don’t recall asking for your medical opinion. besides, who says you’re certified yet? i’ll take everything you say with a grain of salt.” he persisted, lips curled in a teasing grin. “y’know, just because my hair is everything you wish yours could be doesn’t mean i spend an ungodly amount of time on it.” he emphasized, flipping his head so that his locks would bounce for emphasis. however, at this motion, he couldn’t help the chuckle that bubbled in his cheeks. “i feel like i should be offended by that, but you use the same old stuff. my height all you got on me?”

[jaewvns-blog]

“i’m running on no sleep and five cups of coffee. i wasn’t sure i was feeling it until my hand started shaking and now i can’t get it to stop.” jaewon mused, eyes blown out as he slammed them shut to regain his composure. he had no idea who he was speaking with, but with his overworked mind already babbling he couldn’t stop the words that spluttered out long enough to see. "but if it weren’t for the coffee i think i would have already had ten breakdowns by now. the highlight of my day was realizing that i lost my punch card for a free smoothie. that was horrible on it’s own, but it only got worse when i drop the money on one and i was too tired to realize i was holding it by the lid so it slipped out of my hand and got all over – and i mean this thing splashed up all over my shit. how does that even happen?” he sighed, looking at the small spots of smoothie that dotted his shirt as he defeatedly collapsed on the couch. “i just hope this doesn’t stain because when i come off this rush that’ll be breakdown number one.” 

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grahamfr:

graham wanted to lie back and focus on nothing but the level of comfort he was feeling. he wanted to pull the covers up to his face and live in the moment forever with the feelings coursing throughout his veins. he reached up to play with his bottom lip, tugging on it as his nerves shot up once again as he repeated boyfriend; how he loved the way it sounded rolling off his tongue. “yeah, boyfriend.” he said shyly, more than he wanted to. “i want to call you that.” again, in a quiet voice he replied. graham, often loud and never taking a second out of time to slow down with his words sat before him rendered to be quiet and lacking in both departments. “hm, but it depends if you’re willing to be boyfriends since you seem confused by the word? want me to explain it?” he spoke up, eyes meeting his once again. his eyes full of nothing but adoration for the other, the way his smile seemed to meet his eyes and how it left his cheeks aching for graham to stop but his presence, the moment, everything in between left his feature lit with the widest grin he could produce in a weeks. “then why didn’t you tell me you liked me? i would have i don’t know…” his voice trailed a bit, giving a little pause before answering fully, “gotten the hint or something and uh.. maybe shut up about the way i was acting?” graham’s finger dragged along the other’s leg, “i wasn’t even being a friend. if i knew that you were into being passive i could have went off of being passive when we met on campus.” he recalled the memory in a flash but as it appeared, it was just as quick to disappear. “god, couldn’t you have watched where you were going? i had a bruise for two hours.” he was making mockery of what could have been the result but instead a friendship blossomed, he was grateful. “let me just get the bottle,” he briefly turned his face but was captured in a quick kiss, graham’s entire body relaxing against the kiss and the absence of his lips produced a pout from his end. his eyes were much more focused on jae than the bottle, “what if i just said ew, don’t kiss me.” graham’s fingers ghosted over the bottle in his hands before grabbing it and holding it instead. “hold on, i know you’re in a rush to drink.” he teased before laughing as he climbed over him and made himself comfortable on his lap. he cupped the back of his neck, looking straight into his eyes as leaned closer, “i forgot to grab the wine bottle opener downstairs.” graham broke contact before glancing down at at the bottle he bought hours before and sighed. “do you have strong teeth?” he twisted the cap open and there was the cork stopper. “so much for romance.” he teased, offering him the bottle once more.

"boyfriend.” he repeated once more, his tongue wrapping around the nine letter word in an attempt to grasp the concept. before he could offer his own bashful reply, his eyes grew wide at the sudden mockery, mouth hung ajar as a scoff exhaled between them. with his own motion now, jaewon reached forward to open-handedly slap his arm, the contact much lighter than he had anticipated for it to be. “depends? you’re just going to hit me with that right after asking me?” jae mused, retracting his hand to place it back in front of him as it pressed down onto the comforter. he was so overwhelmed that the happiness spread throughout his core, the warmth of his affection making the room feel much hotter than it actually was. “your mine and i’m yours, that’s what it means.” he cheekily retorted, features softening once more from the puff of his defensive cheeks. “you would think someone who wants to call you that would be nicer to you, but i guess i want to call you that too, even still.” jaewon said, eyes gazing past graham in a theatric sigh. it wasn’t for long until his eyes dragged back to meet his own again, his lips curling back into their permanent smile. “i was scared.” he admitted, shoulders slumping slightly as his head rolled on his shoulders to rest opposite of it’s previous position, head now cocked to the right as he watched graham trace shapes. “i thought it might change things -- might change the way that you look at me or treat me. i didn’t want to make an already horrible situation more difficult.” jaewon felt that the words hardly made sense out loud, but in the confinements of his own subconscious, they made plenty. at the recollection of the memory when they first met, jaewon couldn’t help but let laughter immediately bubble into the open, throwing his head back in bliss. “that was your fault. stop trying to put things on me. you have no one to blame for that bruise besides yourself. i wasn’t the one running because i was going to be late.” he mustered accusingly. “i hope you cherished that two hour bruise. it could have been worse.” jae insisted with a feign stern expression, his bottom lip instead jutted out adorably. at their new found proximity, his head only cocked to the left as his brow arched, reaching up with his hand to shove his shoulder back slightly. “ew? don’t kiss you? you’re making me question this entire thing.” he chuckled, hands immediately resting on his thighs as he approached him. “if i risk it and chip a tooth, you won’t be able to see me smile ever again, so how about we play it safe and go get a bottle opener?” jae mused, gently guiding graham off of him as he snatched the bottle once more, quick on his heels to scurry towards the door. “who says romance is dead?” he mused, smile the brightest it had been in so many years as he ran out of the room, not so much eager to drink but eager for graham to follow. 

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judewho:

“you wanna know how strong my boredom’s gotten?” jude asked, to whoever would listen, really, as he filled in the stencil-work for a new design of his. “just last night i watched a whole program on late night tv about michelangelo. — the artist, not the ninja turtle.” not that there was any real need to clarify, but in this house he could never be too sure. “and not only did i watch it, but i critiqued the hell outta that shit.” he snorted, still not bothering to look up from his drawing. “they missed a few key points. for one; michelangelo was gay as fuck. had this younger dude… febo di poggio, who called him ‘honorary father’. y’know, sugar daddy, basically,” he snorted. “guy demanded shit like money, clothes… all kinds of gifts. and mikey handed out drawings and verses like chocolates. what the fuck does modern day romance have on that, huh?” he hardly noticed how much he’d been rambling, peering up at the other person as he finished off the last of his linework. few people knew jude to be a chatterbox—but when it came to the things he was passionate about, well, he could talk for days. “never really been for the whole idea, but… definitely wouldn’t mind michelangelo for a sugar daddy.”

without thinking, a mindless acknowledgement had expelled from the back of jaewon’s throat, a mumbled, “mhm” parting his lips as an invitation to continue. however, given that he was lost in his own train of thought, only a few words from his spiel had registered, those of which hardly made any sense together. by the closing of his sentiment, jaewon could only offer a sympathetic and rather perplexed furrow of his brows in response, almost embarrassed to admit his faults. “i’m sorry, but i zoned out through almost half of that.” he admitted, giggling through his embarrassment in hopes that his charm would win jude over from being upset with him. “what i did hear is ... questionable.” he said, sitting up from previously being sprawled across the couch in order to show how attentive he was to understanding what jude was talking about in the first place. “i heard something about a ninja turtle being gay as fuck,” he began, finger extended in a wag as his expression displayed concern, “and for some reason he was at sugar daddy status. i don’t remember that in the cartoons.” jae mused, a laugh escaping his lips given that there must have been some form of miscommunication lost between the lines. “and now i’ve learned you wouldn’t be opposed to having a sugar daddy. tell me i’m missing something.” 

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grahamfr:

graham’s tongue poked out in mockery as jae took ridicule of his own words. his finger traced the neck of the bottle as he smiled to himself. a huge weight had been lifted off of his chest, the same weight that left him unable to breathe for the longest time. the same crushing weight that kept him pinned for weeks on end, unable to move forward and have it off and out in the open. it weighed further whenever he’d come around and even more so when graham thought it was best to suppress it, hoping it’d go away and the feeling would be no more. he was wrong for thinking that and he was wrong about thinking it’d brush off, like anything else. the more they were together, the more his chest would welcome the familiar warmth and the surrounding air around him would be full of serenity that left him feeling lighter than he had felt in a while. he wanted to jump in glee and sing, there were those days but there were the days where he would neglect every inch of him wanting the other. he would remind him again and again that it was going too far but every kiss left him wanting more. every touch left him craving everything that came with his presence. he didn’t want any of that to end, despite neglecting it for so long. his tongue swiped over his, now, dry lips as he fumbled to speak again. “yeah, i like you.” he repeated and then fighting the smile wanting to make its way to his face. “wait what?” graham wasn’t expecting a reply, much so that reply; his chest felt it would burst any second. he gave in, a smile reaching from one ear to the other as he welcomed in the familiar warmth that he was used to forcing away. he relaxed a bit as jaewon’s fingers laced through his and he bit down down on his lip, “friends don’t do that actually, but boyfriends do.” he scooted slightly closer as he put the wine bottle aside now and squeezed his hand. “god i was such a dick to you, why did you let me do that.” he used his other hand to smack his arm, “you were just going to be okay with the idea of being friends? huh? really?” graham was teasing now, leaning forward to throw his arms around his shoulders and pull him into a tight embrace. “i like you too much to be your friend, idiot. i just want to be yours.” he mumbled, nuzzling his face into the crook of his neck. “do you want to be mine?” he whispered, placing a quick kiss to his neck before raising himself upright. “the wine is for celebration actually, well what it was intended for because anyways the point is if you say yes we’re going to drink this.” he said with a soft chuckle falling from his lips. 

jaewon felt that his mouth was moving before the words could actually process, his heart beating erratically in his chest against his ribcage. he was sure that the pink tint had faded into a red as his cheeks burned to the touch, lit up brightly like the smile of pearly whites that adorned his features. he’d been caught in a whirlwind of emotions ever since he’d come to terms with his own feelings, whiplash from the mixed signals he received from graham. however, no matter how much he told himself that he shouldn’t feel these emotions for his friend, the more he realized that the plea was useless, his fingers knotting into his hair was he clung to the idea of being more with graham. “you heard me.” he laughed, voice coated in honey and buttered with affection. if he wasn’t lightheaded already with excitement, graham’s following words were enough to surely knock him flat. boyfriend. rarely had he ever shared titles with another person, and when he did they were more short lived than anything in his life, but for some reason the thought of calling graham all his didn’t seem like such a bad idea. “boyfriends, huh?” he repeated out loud, as if doing so internally wasn’t enough to convince him that this was really happening. “i let you because i liked you too much to tell you to fuck off.” jae chuckled at the sudden contact, wincing playfully with a grin. “i wasn’t going to be okay with it, but i’d take that over not having you in my life at all.” every word that spluttered from his mouth was out of pure honesty, leaning forward into the embrace. he shuddered at the kiss, only letting out a laugh that was nothing short of relieved. he took a moment to rest on his shoulder, turning his head to look at graham to mutter, “i do, yeah. more than anything,” before he pulled away. instead of answering right away, he took another moment to look at graham, eyes smiling brightly with a smile of gold as he shook his head giddily. “well then it’s time to crack it open. we’re doing this, i want to do this.” jae repeated, still not coming to terms as he waited to wake up from the dream. instead, he daringly leaned forward to press a swift kiss to graham’s lips, slowly pulling away to look at him from a closer proximity. “just had to make sure this is really happening.” he grinned before impatiently snatching the bottle from graham to open it himself, every movement coated in happiness. 

[jaewvns-blog]

do you ever wish you hadn't met the group of friends you're with now?

“of course not. i just sometimes wish that it had been under different circumstances. without the sacrifices and all.”

[jaewvns-blog]

if you hadn't been forced to stop playing piano, where do you think you would be now?

“i’d definitely still have been playing at juilliard, probably nearing graduation or graduated and not on this trip with everyone. it’s a weird thing to think about. i’d rather not think about where i could have been – kind of fucks me up, y’know? possibilities are endless.” 

[jaewvns-blog]

who is someone you wish you could start everything over with?

“i’d start everything with camden over. we’d been in a good place before everything happened, and he was one of my really close friends. i just wish that we’d handle things better.” 

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how do you know graham won't pull what he did with camden and teagan? you're going in blind

"i don’t, but his relationships with other people are his own business. i’d rather go in blind and find out what happens rather than never know at all just because i’m scared of one possible outcome. i’m tired of running from shit.” 

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if you had the ability to never have experienced the /incident/ at the sake of never having the friends you've made after it, would you take up the offer?

"oh ... that’s a good question. i’d be lying if i said that i’m not torn on it. piano was everything that i wanted, and if that hadn’t happened i’d be living an entirely different life. in a perfect world i could have both. i wish i could have my friends without having to sacrifice the only thing that mattered to me, there’s your answer.”

[jaewvns-blog]

isn't it funny karma has a way of getting back to those that deserve it?

“i’m not sure i follow. no one that deserves it has gotten bit in the ass if you ask me, so.”

[jaewvns-blog]

talk about the last person you loved deeply and how it ended

"i would if i’d ever been in love.” 

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your biggest dream is shattered, have you given up?

“i mean, up until this point i’ve pretty much given up yeah. i’d be lying if i said the thought of trying it again never crossed my mind, though. too bad fear is a nasty thing.”

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have u ever considered trying to play the piano with ur feet?

"don’t give me any crazy ideas now ... i might wild out when you least expect it.”

[jaewvns-blog]

have you ever kissed someone you shouldn't have?

"probably on more than one occasion.”