#never thought id come back to tumblr tbh

[thetinyboio]

Trying to be more active on here again sicne Twitter is being funky

[noodlemoondle]

You Always Come First

(No matter how upset I am)

Zayne x Reader

summary: you and zayne have a small spat over you neglecting your health. as a result of it, you decide to sleep on the couch, not wanting to bother/upset him even further. randomly waking up in the night, you notice you’re no longer alone on the couch and do everything you can to get the doctor back in bed before he’s sore for his shift tomorrow.

tags: not proofread!, hurt/comfort? (i didn’t rlly include the hurt part of it so im not too sure), fluff, literal sleeping together, caring n sweet zayne (when is he not), self indulgent per usual

a/n: bro tumblr is REALLY testing my patience. why is it so dumb with everything i try to post. it’s literally why i haven’t posted a fic in a while. i can’t take this much longer i may crash out soon. anyway, as always hope u enjoy! (⁎˃ᴗ˂⁎)

side tangent: i actually have been so obsessed with caleb. it’s actually a problem. i have been loyal to zayne this entire time and i’ve been playing since release, but caleb is REALLY testing it. lord i’m a sucker for the protective n caring childhood friends to lovers trope (¯―¯٥) (id expect a caleb fic soon tbh if tumblr wants to stop hating me and making my life so difficult)

the fight was stupid. you were neglecting your health once again not taking your medicine, not resting, and ignoring doctors specific orders. zayne often could never say no to you, he always spoiled you and gave into any of your requests. the only time he was stern and stubborn was when it involved your health, that he doesn’t and will never budge on. you often lacked care for your health, pushing it to the back burners of your mind and often calling zayne dramatic saying “you knew yourself and your limits”. something zayne wasn’t particularly fond of. he confronted you about your recent negligence of your health and both of your stubbornness in your beliefs led to an argument.

it’s been an hour or 2 since it ended though. zayne left to your shared bedroom, most likely to do some work, while you stayed out in the living area, trying to distract yourself from the anger turning to sadness and guilt in your heart. you ended up deciding to just sleep on the couch tonight not wanting to bother him after an argument. you grabbed an extra pillow and thin blanket from a nearby closet and put on a random show so you wouldn’t have to fall asleep listening to your own thoughts. soon enough you were able to relax and fall into a slumber.

you don’t know how long it’s been since you fell asleep. you hear the tv still on as you slowly wake and become aware of your surroundings. once you can see clearly, that’s when you realize you were laying on top of zayne previously using his chest as a pillow unbeknownst to you. he has been peacefully sleeping on the couch with you for who knows how long. as you sat up in a panic you also notice a thicker, softer blanket, one you have preference for, falling off of your shoulders. instantly guilt is washed over you as you look at zayne, who is a somewhat light sleeper, somehow still deep in his sleep. you swallow quickly as you build confidence to wake him up.

you lean closer to his face which was awkwardly propped up by the couch’s arm rest, a position that you couldn’t imagine to be anywhere near comfortable. you lightly tap his shoulder and call his name trying to wake him up. soon enough he does, opening his eyes to see you staring back at him, the faintest smile appears on his face at the sight, almost forgetting of the spat you two shared earlier. before he could even say anything you scold him:

“why are you here? i was sleeping on the couch tonight. you have work early in the morning go back to bed and go to sleep.”

“couldn’t have you sore in the morning” he answers calmly releasing a small yawn in the process.

“neither can you! you have a long shift starting early tomorrow. i’ll be fine just go back to bed.” you quickly rebutted trying to push him off the couch, something that you didn’t have the strength to do, but nevertheless you persisted.

“i can get through a shift with an achy neck, however you can not.” he replies as he softly grabs your hands that are trying to shove him away back to bed.

“i know i’ll be fine. i’ll live to see another day. now go back to bed already!” you say. your voice getting louder as you’re starting to get frustrated trying to break out of his soft grasp.

“will you be joining me?” he asks softly not letting go of your wrists that keep trying to fight against him.

“no, i’m sleeping on the couch!” your voice raising above the tv still playing in the back illuminating the room.

“then it seems like i shall too” he states as he frees your wrists and pushes you back onto his chest, laying the blanket over you both.

before you can even think of a response zayne wraps his arms around your torso and closes his eyes to fall asleep once again, to which you quickly flick his chest to wake him back up. he opens his eyes again and looks down at you with an unamused expression.

“why won’t you just let me sleep here alone?” you ask in a tone he can’t quite place, nevertheless he can hear the slight amount sorrow that came along with it.

“i already told you, i can’t have you go into work tomorrow with a sore neck and back.” he says closing his eyes again despite your wishes against it.

“if you don’t wish to be with me tonight then i’ll sleep on the couch and you can take the bed” he continues. his arms involuntarily tighten ever so slightly around you showing how much he doesn’t want that.

“but i also told you!!! you can’t sleep on the couch, you have a few surgeries to complete, and you have to be in your best shape to do so.” you try to push up against his arms wrapped around you, another pointless action.

zayne sighs and opens his eyes again to look at you before speaking.

“well then you have two options. one, we both move over to the bed to sleep. or two, i sleep here and you sleep over in the room. my job isn’t physically taxing compared to yours, im not allowing you to go in if you don’t have a proper rest.”

he looks tired. you study his features before you respond to him. taking a moment to look at the eyebags under his eyes and a slight frustration growing in his face from this back and forth.

you sigh before answering “then to the bed we go”

a soft smile appears on zaynes face as he begins to get up. his neck slightly sore, but he wouldn’t reveal that to you. although it’s against your wishes, he lifts you up having you hold the blanket and pillow as he carries you back to bed.

he sets you down on your side of the bed, thinking you won’t necessarily want to be close with him tonight. not before tucking you in and kissing the top of your head whispering his love and goodnight wishes. as he gets into bed you turn to face him. once he fully lays down you scootch closer to him and grab onto the hem of his shirt. he instantly understands what you want and pulls you towards him, pressing you to his side as he wraps his arms around you.

he kisses your forehead once more and whispers

“we will continue our discussion after work tomorrow. goodnight, i love you.”

too tired to argue with him anymore you just nod your head against him replying quietly mouth squished against him making your words barely audible.

“goodnight, love you too”

[sharp-rosee]

Hey funny story: I haven't been around Tumblr at all for months, but today someone told me menalez had deactivated or something so I came on here and looked it up. First result was a post by you, i checked out your blog and wouldn't you know it your most recent post had you defending me post mortem lmfao. I sent an anon to the other woman too but it seems she won't post it so to clarify to you: when I supposedly said "studies showing violence suffered by bisexuals are cringe and useless" what I remember thinking about that is that those studies that I've seen are never used to try to understand why bisexuals suffer such insane rates of violence (more than homosexuals) and trying to stop it. I've only seen them be used as battering rams in discourse when homosexuals criticize bisexuals. Which is crazy for such a serious issue and totally trivializes it lol. Also that my explanation for it was that such studies show that many abused people incorrectly id as bi for a time. You can disagree or wtv just those were my points, she made it sound like I'm cheering on women beating if they're bi or something. Also your defense of me (thanks queen lol) is accurate if you were wondering. I used to be sorta pro strict separatism but I outgrew the anger/ denial phase of "most women will partner with men" and reached acceptance. Most people are built for romantic partnership, that's just human nature, I can't be hating het women just because their lot in life in that means they're more likely to be abused. Just because I'm not drawn to men, or even much to romance, doesn't mean I should act like that's everyone else too and judge them on that standard, I accept reality and want women to be safe within that rather than pointlessly hate on them and get all worked up because some women have boyfriends..

Well I'm also a mean asshole, I'm sure you noticed, and I definitely would give the bi girlies on radblr a hard time here at the time lol. I don't have the "one side" sort of takes on this divide on radblr. It was funny but I can't feel the energy to that anymore since leaving tumblr, way too few bis or gays irl to care about that stuff. But at the end of the day these are my actual takes on all that disk horse. Funny to see it immediately on such a causal stroll around here lol

-sleep3r4gent

QUEEN I used to follow you ♡ at least when I was crypto a few years back I did.

Also, I'm glad you clarified because the way some women on here seem to hallucinate things they read almost makes me feel insane as well. Like you sending an ask saying you never thought of a certain perspective is not indicative of you agreeing and obviously one can change their opinions over time.

I really have no opinion either way tbh, I myself am straight and in a relationship, and have had others on my last blog send some anons calling me a "dick worshipper" and other misogynistic BS, but they stopped once I didn't let it bother me much. It's so obviously a group of trolls that it's embarrassing that they still believe it enough to keep bringing back the same users, some like you who aren't even misogynistic, to further their persecution complex.

It even is more annoying because these are the women who made Mena/Moideater leave, the above drama is a big reason why. The way radblr will still reblog posts from very racist blogs and not bat an eye but then freak out over a clique of women who aren't even radfems really does show what demographic makes up this site.

I know it gets exhausting to be involved in arguments, but it's nice to know you're still somewhat around. I hope you, Mena and Moid come back someday. If not I understand. But I'll never forget any of them and I haven't forgotten you 😭😭😭

[xchxsex]

Mending Your Pain: Mark Hoffman NSFW

AN: Ive had this written for a while but I’ve never uploaded on here before and tbh i don’t think my work is up to par with other creators. I thought id give it a shot though. I have more of the series posted on my instagram which is the same as my tumblr.

TW: light blood play, degrading, praise, rough sex, oral (m and f receiving)

I wake up to a rustling sound in my living room. I turn to look at my clock. Jeez, its 2 am, what could be going on?

I get up and begin to walk out my bedroom door. I hear a familiar groan in the hallway. “Mark?,” i ask to the darkness in front of me.

I find the light switch and flick it on. He’s standing there, a gash on his forehead, a busted and bleeding nose and a busted lip. Thats just what i can see.

“Hey princess,” he says as i run to him.

He’s holding his side and is clearly in pain. “What happened?”

“A call didn’t go so well. He had some friends i didn’t know about and i didn’t have backup.”

I go to touch his side and he groans.

“Shouldn’t you be at a hospital?”

He’s breathing heavy.

“I probably should, but my princess always makes me feel better.”

I smile. I still think he should go to the doctor but maybe i can help. Ive been trained in some medical stuff which he probably already knows. “Here ill take a look.”

I take him back to my bedroom and sit him in my chair.

“You look good in my shirt baby,” he says.

I forgot i was wearing it. I put it on the night before because i missed him and wanted to feel comforted by him.

I go and get my first aid kit and my sewing kit incase i need it. I come back in and he’s sitting with his legs spread open, slumped down in my chair, smiling at me. I know he’s trying to get me going.

First, i check his nose and make sure it isn’t broken. When i touch it he grunts a little.

“Its not broken but it’ll definitely be bruised,” i tell him.

I take a wipe and wipe the blood from his nose and put a bandage on it. His lip will have to heal on its own but i can at least clean it up.

As i lean over and wipe his lip, he’s looking me deep into my eyes, his hands working their way up my back. He’s making me nervous.

I swallow back my emotions and continue to clean up his lip. Its his head that I’m worried about. I rinse it out with saline solution and dab it with gauze. I don’t think it’ll close up on its own.

“I think you’re gonna need a few stitches, can you handle that?,” i ask.

I look him in his eyes.

“Yeah, i can handle that. I have a high pain tolerance, go ahead,” he says in a certain kind of voice.

I open up my kit and grab a needle and thread. I get it ready and grab my lighter to sterilize it. As I’m about to loop it through the gash, his hand goes and sits on my ass.

“Just looking for something to squeeze if it hurts too bad.”

I roll my eyes at him. He grabs my throat and forces me to look at him.

“You wanna do that again?,” he says with a look in his eyes that he’ll make my eyes roll in a different way if i keep on.

“N-no… sir” i say.

He releases my throat and i can actually do what i need to. I get it looped through the first part and he’s squeezing my ass. I knew he was going to even if it didn’t hurt.

I continue with the stitches until i get most of it closed. When i get to the last stitch, i pull it all together and knot the end. I cut the thread and dab it with more cleaning solution.

“Okay, its all done,” i say.

I move and turn away from him for a second. I hear him stand up.

“Aren’t you forgetting something?,” i hear him say.

I turn back around to face him. I don’t know why he’s making me feel so nervous, like I’m a teenager facing my crush in a school hallway.

He’s taking off his jacket and lays it on the chair. The shirt he’s wearing is tight and conforms to his figure. Bits around his neck and armpits have sweat stains. I swallow again, holding back the throbbing thats begun below. He lifts his shirt up and pulls it off. I notice the giant purple and blue blotch that contains the pain he’s feeling. I notice other things that keep my eye focused on him.

His pants have slightly fallen to where i can see his v line leading to something i want so badly right now. What i would give to trace it with my tongue. His body is glistening with sweat in the path of my light.

“Aren’t you gonna come look at it?,” he says as he walks towards me.

He’s borderline on top of me, his broad frame making him seem bigger.

“S-sure,” i say, still not looking up at him.

I put my hands on his side and press around. He groans, not in enough pain to have an injury; just a giant bruise.

“I think you’re okay,” i say.

Im still admiring his body, the ways his muscles contort under his skin and thickness when he moves. My eyes move to his waist and hips, a perfect place for my legs to be wrapped around.

“Actually, i think i have some cuts on my thighs,” he says as he starts undoing his belt.

My insides and clit are throbbing like the beat to a metal song. He takes off his belt and steps out of his pants. I do notice some minor cuts on his thighs, but what i really notice is hard to look away from.

He’s wearing tight, dark blue underwear that conform to his hips and thighs and… him, greatly. Him. His cock is hard and going down his leg, twitching every now and then, like its begging to be emptied inside me. Im sure my face is flushed and my legs are shaking. He wants me to give in and break, but i wont. Not now.

“You should be fine, they’re just little scratches,” i say.

“Hm, maybe you should check my back then.”

He turns around like he knows he’s breaking me. He is, but he doesn’t have to know that. His back. God, his back. It’s sculpted and firm. The muscles he uses to carry me and throw me around like a rag-doll. My eyes move further down to his ass which is being held nicely in the underwear. Theres maybe one tiny scratch on his back.

“Your back is fine,” i tell him.

He turns around to face me. He’s looking at me, pondering whats going through my mind right now. He puts his hand on the desk beside my leg that hes now backed me up onto.

“Let me guess… you don’t want to give in and say that you were looking at my body and all of the dirty things it does to you. You think that you’re stronger than your urges for me and you want to try to make a point?,” he says while looking in my eyes.

Theres the nervousness again. I don’t have to respond, my face says it all. He takes my hand and puts it to his chest and slowly runs it down his body, my fingers pressing into his warm flesh.

He keeps going slowly until he gets to the band of his underwear. He starts to pull down his underwear using our hands. I don’t know how much longer i can take.

My insides are begging me to give up and let him take me but i want to hold out. He pulls his underwear down past his cock and it springs out. He lets out a breathy moan in my ear. He has a drop of pre cum dripping down his tip, still throbbing in sync with my insides. God i cant speak anymore, all i can do is stand here and let out little whines like a dog begging for food. I need the pleasure only he can give.

“Hmm, I’m impressed princess. But we both know you cant handle the way i touch you.”

He runs his nails gently up my thigh, his hand spreading to cup my thigh at the top. I cant break eye contact with his cock. He tilts my chin up to look at him, I’m biting my tongue.

“I know, its hard to not look at. Its big and makes you feel so good doesn’t it? You like the way I throb while I empty myself inside you?,” he says as he tucks my hair behind my ear.

It feels like I can’t breathe. I can’t- i cant do it anymore. I can’t think about anything but having him inside of me, releasing the tension thats built inside me.

“Please..” I whimper.

I run my hands up and down his body.

“Please what?,” he says, his hand going up my back. He moves closer so that his cock is resting on my thigh.

“I need you to- to take me,” i say, unable to form my words right.

“Hmm, i don’t understand?,” he says as he brushes my hair away and starts kissing my neck. “Do you want me baby?,” he whispers in my ear.

Thats it. I wrap my legs and arms around him, grinding onto his leg. He grabs my throat and squeezes.

“Tell me that you want me, get on your fucking knees and beg for me,” he groans. He backs off of me and i get down on my knees. He rubs his tip on my lip and i taste his salty pre cum.

“I want you inside of me,” i hear myself say,” i want to trace the dips of your muscles with my tongue,” i add on, hoping that he’ll give me something that will stop me from soaking my underwear.

He looks down at me and licks his lip. “Then go right ahead.”

Sometimes the way he looks at me, it tells me he could never say no to me. He loves the feeling of my mouth around his cock. You know what? He deserves to be teased too. I don’t take his cock in my mouth. I pull down his underwear and kiss on his thighs leading up to his stomach. I lick a streak up the contour of his v line. I look up and his jaw is tense. I’m getting somewhere.

His hand goes on the back of my head and presses me closer to him. I need him just as badly as he needs me.

“I suggest you put it in your mouth before i shove it in,” he says.

I give into him. I take him in my hand and put his tip in my mouth. I swirl my tongue around it, but i have a different plan. I know where his sensitive spot is. I move underneath his cock where his tip meets his shaft. I gently suck on that and his hands instantly grab onto my head.

“Fuck,” he groans before he pulls my head away entirely. His cock throbs. Guess he couldn’t handle it.

“You couldn’t handle me sucking your cock?,” i say in a tone that will definitely come back to haunt me later.

“Oh ill teach you a lesson on not being able to handle something.” He pulls me up by the throat and takes me to the bed. “You’ve barely seen what my tongue can do to you. I already can make you break so easily. I will end you this time.”

He lays me down and pulls off my underwear, pulling up my shirt enough to expose my breasts. He puts his mouth to my hole and i cant even describe what he does.

He starts to suck and lick and kiss and bite all at once it feels like. The pleasure is so intense my back arches, i grab onto him and try to push him away. He’s holding onto me tightly. I cant get away from him. I shouldn’t have teased him.

My hips squirm without me even trying to. My legs are shaking as he holds them down. The combination of how sensitive my clit is from being so fucking turned on and what he’s doing with his mouth is so intense. Im flooding his mouth and he doesn’t stop, he’ll never stop. Every time i cum i get more and more sensitive.

“Please,” i beg and whimper over and over again.

He keeps going for what feels like forever. I’ve lost count of the orgasms just from his mouth. My body keeps reacting to the movements of his tongue, but i feel like I’m going to pass out again. My tight grip on his hair has gotten to me just resting my hands on his head. My body is aching for more. The muscles in my thighs can’t tighten around his head anymore.

When i stop begging for mercy, he finally stops. His face slick and glistening with my juices. He crawls on top of me and makes me look him in the eye with a firm grip on my chin.

“Do you understand me?,” he asks.

I make out a breathy “yes”. I just realized we haven’t even had sex yet and I’m already so worn out.

“Don’t worry princess, ill be gentle.”

I still want him inside me, i just don’t know how much i can handle. He slides into me and i let out a whine. He pulls up my legs to rest on his shoulders. He holds my hips as he slowly thrusts into me. His mouth falls slightly open as small moans escape from his lips. He brushes my hair behind my ear out of my face.

“I like fucking you in my shirt, you look so pretty and ruined in it.” His thrusts start to speed up little by little.

Soon he starts doing that final thrust that feels incredible. The way he curls his hips just a bit at the end drives me wild. I don’t even care if i cum again tonight, i just want his cum inside me. I crave it.

He kisses me and i taste the blood on his lips. It sounds gross, but it only makes me want him more. Soon we’re wrapped around each other, kissing, sweating, begging for each other. I bite his busted lip and he groans. His cock throbs in me. Maybe he secretly likes pain a little too.

I taste his fresh blood in my mouth. His hand goes around my throat and breaks the kiss. He stops thrusting. He wipes his lip off with his thumb.

“Open your mouth,” he demands.

I open my mouth and he rubs his blood stained thumb on my tongue. Maybe I’m as fucked up as he is. I suck the rest of his blood off. He smiles down at me.

“God you’re a dirty girl aren’t you?”

“Only for you,” i tell him.

He kisses me harshly and starts thrusting even faster. “Dirty girls make me want to fill their insides with my cum.”

Im moaning for him again. “Please cum inside me,” i beg.

“Yeah? You haven’t had a load inside of you in a little while. Maybe thats why you’re so fucking tight around me. Your body wants my cum that bad?” His thrusts are getting sloppy. His moans are getting louder.

I want him to cum so badly. He’s holding onto me so tightly. “God you’re gonna fucking make me cum,” he accidentally whimpers.

He’s never made such a noise but it makes my insides quiver. The vein in his forehead pops out and his jaw tenses. He’s so close. I think i know how to get him to cum.

“Cum inside me daddy,” I whisper in his ear.

He groans and throbs as he finishes in me. I squeeze his cock tightly and milk him dry. He paints my walls with his warm seed until he’s empty. His hand goes around my neck.

“Call me that one more fucking time and ill make it the last thing you say before you get my cock rammed down your throat.” He knows he secretly likes it when i do it.

He pulls out of me and his cum pours out, gushing down my ass and off the bed. He grabs his clothes and puts them back on, wincing if something hits his side.

I slide off of the bed and stand like a newborn deer. My legs are shaking so badly and his cum is still dripping down my leg.

“I have some work to do. Ill come back and see you when I’m done.”

I walk over to him and he holds me up by my waist. He kisses me and i feel like i know what work he has to do. Whether its with that john guy or his police work, he always kisses me like it could be our last.

“Thank you for taking care of me princess. I have one request,” he says.

“What?” He grabs my underwear and hands them to me.

“You put these on and sleep in the mess i made inside you.” I listen to him and put my underwear back on.

“Good girl. I love you,” he says as he puts me in bed and tucks me in before leaving.

[l-tora-l-archived]

HELLO CUTIE WHATS UR MAIN BLOG, SHARE PLS XOXO

HIIII sorry for taking like ten centuries to respond to this but like tbh ;; Im quitting tumblr I think. (ALSO UNI PLS IGNORE THIS LOL ITS MAINLY FOR EVERYONE ELSE CAUSE I ALR TOLD YOU ID POST THIS HAHA😭🙏)

Mega explanation under the cut talking abt some of the trashy behaviour I've had to experience on this forsaken app over the years, but mostly how I feel about it so yeah if you don't care that's alr hope everyone has a good life, cause as I said I quit.

I deleted the new blog I ended up making bc this environment has never really been welcoming to me and I can 100% say that tumblr has actively made my experiences with practically everything irl AND online worse than any fruitful goodness it has or could ever bring. From putting my everything into relationships including comfort, support and psychological + therapeutic sessions for people even over ten yrs older than me (at times older) without even getting a single kind thought back, to the genuine rudeness of some people, to the (excuse my language) but half assed and crude responses I receive ... honestly the list is endless.

One thing I'm trying to get better at is to notice when my presence is clearly not wanted and act accordingly. It's just saddening that the one place where it's encouraged to be your true "nerdy" self, as the catchphrase of this site is, I am not allowed to be just that. I really do wonder what part of me is so incredibly intolerable or forgettable, that I am expected to practically grovel for even ten minutes of people's time - and that's with the closest people I know, forget abt ten minutes for regular conversation I can't even get ten minutes from the people I stood with through thick and thin with, even though I myself struggle really hard to be there and yet always am.

From now on I'll just say that no I will definitely not come back, I will also not use this account and if I ever DO come back it would probably just be a call out thread on SOME people who deserve jail time more than silly time on tumblr dot come /hj (but not rlly hj hahejdsj this is so srs and continues to impact my life after almost 2 years ... but ugh what.ever.😀👍). But I'm also a coward ngl so like that would never happen !

I would say "oh btw I have this account you can keep in touch on ! :>" but truthfully, I am so let down by how uninteractive, uncaring and exclusionary everyone is no matter how hard I try to do the best I can to treat others how I'd love to be treated, and how I basically am sweating to keep convos going, bc in truth I don't think anyone rlly likes me enough here or anywhere really to even want to talk to me in general, so I'll spare you all that. The proof is literally in the fact that I've amassed a sizeable following which I am shocked with, yet despite it all I feel so lonely bc nobody even bothers with me at all whilst ppl who just start out get 50 best friends in such a short time frame. I see I am not everyone's cup of tea.

I once thought maybe just maybe I could have a good time online just how everyone suggests that online is better than irl and it is a reprieve for some. Looks like I am eternally unlucky bc how is online on par or perhaps even worse than irl for me ? And make no mistake irl is atrocious to me too.

I do not mean this to be passive aggressive but I just want to communicate my thoughts. If I was being passive aggressive that'd imply that I knew that everyone here was capable of treating me as I wanted, as I have consistently treated my "friends" on here, as a reciprocated effort. But as this thread suggests, that was and can never be a reality for me.

TLDR // not coming back bc :

People genuinely don't care or don't put in any effort at all

Bullies (mean ppl way at the beginning of my account) + I am let down how everyone let TWO whole adults get away with being weird to a then minor (me) right in front of your faces

Very traumatised and uncomfortable being on this app to the point I can barely even socialise at all from the precipitating impacts.

Hope everyone has a good life.

[ryuatewater]

im gonna be honest i feel you. its like, the best things always happen when youre anon and everything goes wrong when you arent anon. and its okay to reveal yourself! but in aorry you havent been feeling included. :(

im gonna be honest i felt the same with you, just another fan liking and liking and reblogging. i actually was so happy when you followed me back i was richocheting off the walls at full speed o was turninf into sparkly pink confetti everybody was eyeing me weird and solemly questioning why i was so estatic but omg. i think thats a moment i will never forget. tbh i was scared of you for the longest time (and still am) bc you just seemed so superior and outstanding. you intimidated me so much in a way thats actually impressive. and now i come to realize that youre actually just this person whos so real, and so amazing and interesting and id even say a bit more gregarious than i thought

you givw me such a positive feeling, and its just so miscellaneous. you feel miscellaneous if that makes sense. but that just makes it all the better actually. youre really talented and exceedingly creative PLEASE dont you ever forget that. you bring so much joy to so many of us actually its ineffable. 

-💟🌐 anon

Reading this is so weird cause I don't feel like Ive done anything that cool to make people intimidated of me, ive gotten this several times my friends on tumblr have actually admitted to being scared of me at first and I was just so confused cause im just a little guy doing whatever though it does feel nice to know ive made people happy, i dont know if im shivering from happiness or if its just cold im glad that ive made you joyous!!

[petewentzisblack1312]

hi i wanted to ask something but also share something personal as well. my q is: do you feel like your relationship w social media has changed? meaning, do you catch / notice when you are on it for too long and you start to notice, and then you say: okay let's take a break. for me, i have been online for a long time ever since i was a kid, and now my relationship to it is i only limit myself an hour to being on my phone. as an adult now i am no longer social media "obsessed". like, when i am in school i am not thinking about online, i am present when im at school. i feel like i am really close to just deleting sm tbh. it does not grant me happiness like it used to. now as an adult i feel this need to live my life freely.

i also wanted to ask what are ur thoughts on content influencers? to me when i see these ppl i think...i could never post about everything about my life, but then again understanding that it is just a highlight reel. no one is posting every sad / frustrating thing that happens in their life as influencer, only the "great" parts.

this is an interesting question! i think ive never really had a relationship to social media where i feel like i need to post constantly or felt pressured to share everything. while im definitely the most online out of my household, compared to a lot of other people im not really very present online. i dont like using twitter, i only really use instagram to look at and post art and occasionally post a picture of my cat or nature or food on my main account, i dont really get up to much and i never use facebook unless i have to. i hate it. even here on tumblr i dont post a lot about my personal life unprompted, and this is the social media site i use the most by far. i do scroll tumblr a lot, i do watch a lot of youtube videos (though almost exclusively video essays on politics and recently also artist vlogs) and i do notice myself scrolling a bit too much, particularly when im overstimulated but instead of doing something less stimulating im anxious and looking for a distraction so i like. scroll harder. but ive never been like doing something else and thought 'man, i wish i was scrolling right now'. i dont really know. i do have trouble putting my phone down, like when i need to sleep, but i have trouble putting ANYTHING down. games, books, art or writing or projects im working on, music im listening to, i dont think tumblr is special, its just another activity for me to be distracted by.

all that being said, i did leave social media for a while. i had a really bad experience in a fandom on tumblr (not the pwams incident. that led me to step away from bandom and move to another fandom) and honestly it made me realise that the problem i had with social media wasnt that i was using it too much, but that i had a toxic relationship with the communities i was interacting with on there. the nature of my relationship to social media was unhealthy, not the fact that i had one that was a large part of my life. i think when i wasnt using any social media i actually wasnt in a great place either, because i was isolated from people id cared about, especially since i had just undergone a very traumatic incident, and because of that became very isolated from my in person friends as well, even before the pandemic pushed me away from even the acquaintances i had made. i was worried about coming back to tumblr, but i think ive grown and learned in such a way that i know how i like to comport myself in cyberspaces, and that its been good for me in a way. which is weird, but. i think id kind of have to go in depth about my life and how the pandemic affected me and the specific nature of coming of age in st lucia and stuff. which i dont want to do haha.

as for influencers. i hate the concept. i understand it, and i dont universally hate influencers as a whole, but like. theres this specific kind of content creator where the thing they are sharing is just their life and there isnt like a specific thing theyre logging, like an artist sharing their creative process and how they manage their life around that, or a chef sharing recipes, and its not like theyre doing it just to do it, they have the goal of growing a following, and theyre not advertising anything but themself, like JUST themself, as a person-brand, and i find that so deeply annoying and repulsive. and like thats strong wording its a dog eat dog world and the girlies of all genders need to secure the bag like i get it. i get it. but its revolting to me. like. the vlogbrothers werent trying to get famous they were using youtube to communicate with each other and as an open video diary and people found them to be interesting personalities to watch. right. do you get it. annoyingly i gotta put myself out there if i want people to find my art and pins and stuff so i have to fuckin. make videos. sell people on me. the idea of making vlogs makes me dry heave bc im not important i dont want to have to sell myself like im important i dont want to put my face on a camera and implicitly say with every quirky performed statement i make 'i matter, pay attention to me, i need to exist so look at me' but unfortunately i might have to. a video essay i could do. thats me saying something. but a vlog? with the goal of people finding my stuff? good god. it sounds like poison.

[lqfiles]

user lqfiles i have no idea what to call you.

see saying "hello tumblr user lqfiles" sounds ominous and it's giving sigma... god i hate that word. i have beef with the gen alpha slang, everytime i hear a reel with "what the sigma" i grow a little closer to throwing that toaster right into the bathtub. ANYWAYS, my point is that i'm going to figure out how to come up with a nickname for you. it'll come, eventually trust. i'll think of one okay. something to do with l & q idk. unless there's something else you want me to call you? ALSO NOOO IM NOT RICH. 😭😭 as i mentioned before i bought like... 3x the amount of pcs i OWNED BEFORE i went on a buying spree. so all i had was just the pcs i collected from albums that were gifts from friends... (i never thought it a good idea to spend money on this stuff for myself.) I was actually traveling abroad which was why i hadn't checked in for a bit, and the prices... were just so much cheaper!! So I decided, why not? fuck it we ball! (my life motto to everything at this point...) and i'm in a decent financially stable point in my life where i can indulge in this stuff, so i bought quite a bit... i tried to focus on buying pcs... cause storing albums in my suitcase makes it a lot heavier.

i definitely have a hand kink its not a joke anymore. IT REMINDED ME OF THIS IMAGE (idk if it's going to work if it doesn't uh.... ignore! cause i've never sent links on anon and tumblr hates making things easier for us.) https://postimg.cc/1gWC0B48 AND IDK IF YOU CAN SEE IT BUT ITS SO FUNNY I COULDNT STOP LAUGHING. they're both me

i also have no idea who louis partridge is BUT HOLY FUCKING SHIT I JUST LOOKED HIM UP AND GOD DAMN. like my taste in men is obviously questionable, and like most people i did have a thing for andrew garfield and theo james... but i think i often find myself crushing on east asians half of the time, mostly because i am eastern asian myself, and it's not like on purpose cause i do find other races hot, it's just the way i grew up finding famiiarity in those faces? does that make sense idk im yapping at this point.

ALSO THE SMAU IS SO FUNNY IM CAUGHT UP NOW.... HAECHAN LITERALLY GOING THROUGH ALL STAGES OF GRIEF. HE WANTS HER SO BAD BUT ALSO THE COMPLAIN ABOUT THE WHOLE PINTREST BROWSING.... LIKE HES SO REAL AND CUTE AT THE SAME TIME I LOVE HIM. (chatgpt is too real AND THE FACT THAT y/n IS EATING IT UP IS SO FUNNY LIKE I WOULD'VE ALREADY BEEN LIKE.... why does this sound like it's written by ai...) holy fuck that's a lot i ranted a lot anyways hello, look forward to the next chapter. love you and hope u have a great day TUMBLR USER LQFILES - 🤠

hejdhskdj sometimes i’m tempted to put my name back in my about me so you guys can put a name to my account but then i remember how don’t wanna be perceived THAT much and rethink #SOZZZZ idk maybe i’ll come up with a new alias that you can start addressing me by, tho if you’re curious you can figure my name out if you find my main blog and check my tags 😭

you’re gonna hate me omgg bc except for the word sigma (cos that cringe) i unfortunately love brainrot content atm… like yess give me the skibidi toilet rizz party, give me the ohio fanum tax, GIVE ME RHE MAXIMUM AURA 😅😂 the effect of living with little boys..

FUXK IF WE BALL IS SUCH AN AMAZING LIFE MOTTO like exactly.. we are ballin.. anyways you not spending any money yourself on albums is sending me lmaooo but at least you were able to use the money you had saved to buy yourself some cheeky pcs. tbh i think pcs are the only appealing part for most part when buying an album anyways so it’s a good thing that you didn’t buy albums lmaooo

THE IMAGE IS SHOWING LMAOOOO i love this pic so bad ughhh he has such nice hands i wish i could hold his hands and play with them.. the perfect mix between girly dainty hands and manly veiny like I WANXTHU SO BAD HAECHAN

MOST PEOPLE MUST NOT INLCUDE ME… but tbh i don’t think i have a specific race i like in men, THO IM IN MY ARABIC BOYS ERA RN… idk if anyone knows slushynoobz but hamza.. i wantchu saaaur bad like GIVE ME THE YEMENI BOY.. also i don’t think it’s weird to prefer your own people!!! its something a lot of cultures have too so don’t worry about it you’re not yapping, my mum is the same 😭

LOLLLL HAECHAN EXPERIENCES THE LOSS OF HIS UNOFFICIAL GF he was probably with his head in his hands when she didn’t respond to his apex request. and ntm he tweaked the letter a bit to make it more personalised!!! a bit of ai here and there but still personal!!!!

I LOVE YOU TOOO COWBOY ANON!!!

[greetings-movie-goers]

Hello Again!! Fun Little Life Updates and Rambles W/ the Mun!!!

// Hello! It’s been a while! I think about three months? Im on desktop rn, I cant really tell... :).

 I’ve been very very busy finishing my junior year, getting ready for my senior year, going on college tours, and I just finished a production of Heathers as Big Bud Dean! Michelle Duffy, the original Ms. Fleming came to see it, and when I went to take a picture with her after the show, she asked my name and said she was in hysterics every time that I was on stage, I am still not over it.

 I’ve been to so many parties this summer, too! Not much time to be on Tumblr for me lol. Hopefully senior year will be much easier than junior year, and I’ll be able to dedicate more time to this blog! To tell you the truth, I also fell out of HHN for a while, got new hyperfixtations, and got writers block when it came to dear Julian. Im getting right back into my HHN fixtation, as it is that time of year again! 

TBH Im not too crazy abt the houses this year. I never got past the beginning of The Last of Us game because the last time I played it, something really awful happened to me and my family a few hours after I shut off the game, and so now it kinda reminds me of that. Im also not a ST fan lol. I tried really hard to be, but it’s just not my cup of tea, personally. Childs play was fine, just not my favorite horror movie by a longshot, (Still waiting for that Scream house I was so adamant about last year). Also Im really waiting on that FNAF house I am hoping and striving for that FNAF house it’s a need. That being said, I probably won’t be able to go back this year, so my opinions dont really matter lol. I think Ive healed enough though, and maybe I can get into The Last of Us before September?

Who knows though? My best friend said that her parents said that they might take her to HHN this year, and if the do go, Id be invited. I kinda dont think its gonna happen, but its a really awesome thought! My parents said that the whole family would have to come, because it wouldnt be fair to my little sibling, who got sick last HHN, and only got through 4 houses, if I went again without them, and I 100% agree. Our parents are friends though, and my sibling and best friend became friends this past year. so if it really does happen, it’ll be the best trip of my life. Its nice to dream. Very nice :)

That’s my little ramble!! If you read this far, wow! Props! And also thank you! I love the sound of my new keyboard, and a lot happened that kept me off Tumblr recently! I mostly now just read posts, and dont post them myself, but as I said earlier, hopefully that will change started as soon as I can! Im def more active on my personals on other socials if anyone wants to trade acc names dm me! Im finally ready for new Julian asks again! Make sure to ask away! 

Id love to hear whats going on in all of your lives too if youd like to share!! I love you!! Im so excited to be back with new inspo for Julian! Much love, Mun!

[a-dragons-journal]

I id as alterhuman/partially human, and I'd love to tell my friends about it but they know next to nothing about this type of stuff, and I'm not sure if I even have kintypes or anything like that. And like, I don't think me being alterhuman affects too much cause I think it feels more like "I'm human but I'm also something else" but I would also like to tell them. What do I do? I think they'd be accepting but I've got anxiety

Yeah, I been there. The advice I've got for coming out to people, as taken from my own experience and that of people I know:

Start with one person, preferably the person you trust the most to not tell people even if they do think it's weird. That gives you basically a trial run to feel out the surroundings, hopefully get reassurance that you've got at least one person who'll support you, and can feel relatively safe that it won't spiral out of your control with people gossiping about it.

If you're like most of us, then if you've been friends with these people for any significant length of time it's very possible they've already noticed something odd about you caused by your alterhumanity, even if they don't have a word for it, and are still around. Maybe I'm more of an outlier than I realize, but the reactions I got essentially ranged from "yeah, that explains some things" to "that seems right for you" to "I'VE BEEN WONDERING THAT FOR MONTHS" - no one was really all that surprised, even though it is, let's be real, a wild concept that probably hadn't ever occurred as a possibility to most of them. Your friends may not be all that surprised either, depending.

If you're really nervous about it, you can start with "hey, have you ever heard of this thing called alterhuman?" (and then explaining the basic concept if they haven't, or asking what they know about it if they have) and see how that goes. That way, if you get a negative initial reaction, you can back out by framing it as "oh nothing, I just saw a weird post on Tumblr and got into a bit of a rabbithole reading about it. Just thought it was interesting, wanted to see what you thought of it" and hopefully let the subject drop. If you get a neutral-to-positive reaction, you can proceed with coming out.

In that same vein, framing it as something you're just questioning, rather than something you're already pretty sure of, is another way to give yourself a chance to back out if things go bad. That way if they bring it up again you can always brush it off with "nah, I ended up deciding it wasn't me" or even "nah, I'm probably just a furry" (if applicable). (With parents, or people who otherwise hold notable power over you, I'll even recommend agreeing with them that it's "kinda dumb" or whatever, but with friends it's probably not a big enough worry to be worth reinforcing that idea - if your friends are really going to make your social life hell about it, they're not your friends.)

On that note - if your friends do end up bullying you about it... they're frankly not very good friends. They may be skeptical, they may be concerned about you at first (which is, honestly, an understandable reaction if you've never heard of the concept before), but if they're actively mean to you about it, you probably need to distance yourself from them - not because of this, but because that says they probably don't actually support you all that much. Coming out (as anything that might be controversial, tbh, not just as alterhuman) is a pretty good test of whether your friends are very good friends.

But you already said you're pretty sure they'll be accepting - I would trust that instinct. Anxiety's a bitch, but it's also a notorious liar. Proceed with caution, but if them knowing this about you is important to you, then do proceed.

[hikari-writes]

Heyyoo,,,

It's me, that bitch Hikari who disappeared without saying a word for two whole years-

Owkdnkwndjw where do i start man-

First of all, I am deeply, truly, sorry for disappearing on you guys like that, really. I owe you guys an explanation but tbh i just think im making excuses at this point. But i just wanna say that Im sorry. Im really really sorry…

I promised myself that i wont be active here again until april of next year (ill explain later as to why) but i thought id just drop in rq to notice you guys that im still here, alive and well, and fortunately not dead yet-

It's been so long since i last wrote any fanfic, and i havent written anything proper ever since 2 years ago, but i rlly miss being able to write,, it was one of my passion, and still is even tho i never wrote anything for the past years,,, id rlly like to come back and revive this dead writing blog once im finally free on april of 2023… I hope you guys will be able to welcome me back at that time with open arms (or just dropkick me for being so inactive i dont mind whichever ahhseilwnekdj)

I have an upcoming big exam next year from february to march 2023, an exam that will carve my path as an adult, which, if any of you malaysians seeing this, yes its SPM. U could say my whole career depends on this, hence why I've been so inactive on tumblr for the past years (and also some other reasons but thats one of it)

I know a lot of my moots have moved on, some still here and some have deactivated or delete their account and all i feel is,, regret. A lot of my moots are what helped me get through my darker moments during quarantine, and the fact that ill probably lose contact with them for forever is horrifying. I wish i had at least contacted them for one last time b4 i disappeared 2 years ago. I wish i was able to ask for their other socmed so that i can still contact them. It's stupid, i know, since I'm the one who disappeared on yall in the first place. I rlly, rlly, am sorry. I just hope you know that. 

I rlly miss you guys. I truly do. Its been so long. You guys are the sweetest people ive ever had the pleasure of knowing and im truly blessed by that fact. I srsly dont deserve you. Thank you, thank you, thank you, for always putting up with my antics and simpings, and always just,,, being the sweetest person ever. I truly dont deserve yall. You guys are the reason i still havent deleted or deactivated my acc. I just cant let go of you guys. Thats why i still keep this up even tho im hella inactive. So that i can still come back here, someday. 

Ive gotten into some more fandoms while i was gone, and I'll add that to my masterlist. I promise when i come back, ill write more for you guys (even tho my writing aint nothing special windijskd) 

Thank you again for all the support youve given me for the past years. I appreciate every one of you <333 I have so many things i wanna say but its all jumbled up and my mind's a mess but just know that im sorry and thank you, for just,, everything 💞💞💞 i hope when i come back, i can still be the hikari you guys remember me as 💓

This isn't a goodbye post, far from it. This is simply a see you later post. I love you guys, stay hydrated, and always rmmbr that ure an awesome person who deserves all the love in the world 💗💗💗

-Signing off for now,

Hikari

[princesssarcastia]

2021 Harry Potter Fanfic Primer

im here to point fingers at the incredible authors that have enabled my new interest in HP content.  im still conflicted and upset about it, tbh, but for now we’re leaning into the curve.  we’re getting out our shovel and finding out just how deep we can make the hole we’re in.  hand in unlovable hand my beloved <3.  anyway, these fics are wonderful, their authors are wonderful, and you should go read their stuff. if there’s a star next to it that means im losing my mind over it and always will be.

Creatively Maladjusted, by elumish on AO3, 101k  (they also have a wonderful writing advice blog on tumblr, @elumish, which I recommend following if you are a writer) 

A very excellent re-telling of harry’s first year at hogwarts if he were sorted into Slytherin, plus some more not!fic or piecemeal re-tellings of his second and part of his third year.  Harry, in this, has a slightly different trauma response to growing up with the Dursley’s.  He’s a bit quieter, and the signs are a bit more obvious to the people around him, and I enjoyed that immensely. 

Honestly, if you’re going to get sucked into something you have absolutely no business getting sucked into, elumish is the way to go, their fic is incredible. their teen wolf fic is also immaculate, if you’re so inclined. 

Dissonance, by ImpishTubist on AO3, 2.5k (@impishtubist on tumblr)

Set during fifth year.  Oblivious!Harry has always been a delightful trope when well executed, and this is well executed.  Plus, some angst between Remus and Harry over what Umbridge has been doing to him.

I would certainly recommend a lot of ImpishTubist’s other hp work on AO3, like Lacuna.

blow us all away, by rexcorvidae on AO3, 23k (@rexcorvidae on tumblr)

In progress (like, updated last week in progress).  Currently in the beginning of Harry’s first year.  Fem!Harry, Indian!Harry.  Hagrid puts Harry in touch with Remus when she has questions about her parents, and they become reluctant, traumatized, angst-ridden pen pals who keep missing each other’s true intentions like ships in the night.  hot DAMN do I love this fic.  there’s hints of the way the dursley’s treat Harry peaking through in her letters, and I appreciated the attention to “hmm, her experience as a girl of indian descent in britain under the thumb of a bunch of white people who like being Normal may not have been gucci”

Definitely comb through the rest of their HP fic, too, I may or may not have gone feral over it.

Where the Heart is, by silver_fish on AO3, 15k (@kohakhearts on tumblr)

Woof.  This one said, “hey, harry was probably SUPER depressed in the summer after fifth year.  like, clinically.  maybe someone should do something about that.”  Fuck yeah.  Then this one said, “that someone was Snape.”  You all know my opinions on Snape; generally, Bad.  But damn if this fic didn’t wholly convince me by the end of it.  I thought it was a very realistic way for Snape to start seeing Harry as a person all on his own, and not a proxy for Snape’s angst over James and Lily, respectively.  The angst is wonderful, the ending is even more so.

*bernie sanders voice* I am once again asking you to read through the rest of the author’s HP fic.  a lot of them have similar themes; there’s actually a great one with Molly that i’m not reccing here, Wonder.

☆Bindings, Bindings, by Quietlemonhush on AO3, 60k (@quietlemonhush on tumblr)

WORDS CANNOT EXPRESS TO YOU HOW MUCH I ENJOYED/AM ENJOYING THIS.  If I had to pick a single fic and say “you, it’s your fault I’m stuck here,” it would be this one.  Anyway Lily in the afterlife is So Very Angry about how Petunia is treating Harry, and how Sirius is rotting in Azkaban, and how Remus is alone, that she literally brings herself back to life and drags James and Regulus with her.  All three of them are there to chew bubblegum and fix everything that went wrong after they died—and would you look at that, they’re all out of bubblegum!  There’s only Fury left.  That inciting premise is very crack, but every moment after that is very much not crack.  Lily and James love harry more than anything, the way a child should be loved; James and Sirius have the epic friendship of a lifetime; Sirius and Remus have staggering amounts of resolved sexual tension and take turns keeping each other in check; Regulus, though he realized that Voldemort and his family were shit before he died, is still unlearning all his racist bullshit and, also, years of trauma.  Actually, they’re all traumatized, but hey: now they have one another again and not a damn one of them seems inclined to let go anytime soon.  Quietlemonhush went, “hey, HP has a lot of Awful people in it, and a lot of Righteous people in it, and many of them are Very, Very Powerful; also, love is the most powerful force in the universe” and i said “hell yes tell me more right now.”  And then they did!

Quietlemonhush writes Sirius/Remus in a way that makes it sooo much fun to devour, so the rest of their HP fic is most certainly worth a look, if that’s your thing.

Rebuilding, by Colubrina on AO3, 113k (@colubrina on tumblr)

Hermione/Draco (*shrug emojis into the abyss* yeah, yeah, like none of us have ever been there before).  Takes place during Hogwarts 8th year, and while the beginning is, IMO, a little unfair to Ron, it gets much better.  Tells the story of Hermione and Draco clearing the air, learning to like each other, having some hormones over each other, and then falling in love.  Also tells the story of Hermione and Theo Nott becoming friends; the story of how every single 7th and 8th year student is fucked to hell by the war and the Carrows; the story of how they start an emotional support group about it and all become friends; and the story of, what the hell do you do with yourself after that kind of trauma?

I’ve been dipping in and out of Colubrina’s HP since before I was even on tumblr; I actually found them in those dark yesteryears when the only fandom interactions I had were on fanfiction.net.  Of such fame as Green Girl, which is an HP fic staple, and has also written a lot of wackier, crackier, and darker things than that.  If you don’t take yourself too seriously, I highly recommend many of their big HP works, though I imagine it’ll press some people’s buttons.  Colubrina’s work really does take up a corner of my mind whenever I’m in an HP mood, and will take up yours if you let it.

☆ all waiting is long, by shuofthewind on AO3, 149k ( @shu-of-the-wind on tumblr)

This is so well written that I can’t stop thinking about it.  It is occupying my mind when I lie awake at night, you know?  It’s one of those.  Hermione messes with something she probably shouldn’t have in Grimmauld Place, so when Sirius is sent through the Veil in the Department of Mysteries, she gets thrust into an alternate universe...in 1975.  Instead of handwaving it away, shuofthewind actually gets into the mechanics of it in a way that makes sense, to emphasize that hermione is never going home.  ever. The world she finds herself is shifted slightly to the left, quite a bit darker, but in a “the author is treating the idea of a society-wide conflict over blood purity much more seriously than JKR ever did” way, not a sensationalist way.  Now, Hermione has to grapple with all her grief at losing everyone she’s ever loved or known, the moral/ethical/magical implications of sharing what she knows about her future in an alternate world, and, you know, a goddamn war with people who want to murder her for being who she is.  This Hermione is smart, and she’s kind, and she’s powerful, and she’s making real friends.  If you hate JKR’s guts I’d go read this right now, because it delivers in all the ways she failed us.  It’s plotty, its got great world-building, and it pulls back the white curtain on the wizarding world to show you that, like real life, it’s multicultural and full of queer people...and the discrimination that comes with both.

shuofthewind write epics, mainly for the MCU, and I’ve read some of them a looooong time ago, so this fic kinda seemed out of left field for me but im SOOOO GLAD it exists.  If you want MCU fic you can sink your teeth into, go for it, but alas, they do not have any more HP fic (.......yet?)

Speak Now [+] Listen Now, by mrsfrizzle on AO3, 33k altogether

Harry reaches out to Remus for support because Umbridge is getting to him with her literal torture.  Remus, being a former professor, former mandatory reporter, person who loves Harry and has since he was born, and all around good man, tells Harry he has to tell someone, or Remus will.  It’s everything any adult looking back on that time in HP canon ever wanted, which is for an actual adult to say “what the fuck, those are literal chidlren” and then do something about it.  Then, a far more dangerous task: Harry trusts Remus enough to go to him about the Dursleys.  Harry and Remus’ relationship develops SO WELL, and there’s a bit of exploration about how Sirius may not exactly be guardian material, because he did in fact spend 12 years of his life getting tortured instead of growing up.  I think I’m actually going to go reread this right now, because it speaks to my id.

they do have some other HP fic which did not appeal to my hyperspecific wants, but may appeal to some of yours.  I think they’re also a published author, there should be a link on their profile page.

chase the stars, by Duskglass on AO3, 101k (@felix-duskglass on tumblr)

When Harry is five years old, a picture of him ends up in the Daily Prophet, and Sirius Black, Terror of Ministry Officials Touring Azkaban everywhere, gets a hold of that issue.  He then, in order: breaks out of Azkaban; crosses the countryside to Surrey; Finds Harry: Kidnaps Harry; Breaks Into Remus’ Apartment; starts processing (or maybe just acknowledging) his trauma from Azkaban, the war, and his childhood; and pines after Remus.  It’s a little plotty, and deals a lot (sometimes through flashbacks) with the specific awful things that happened to Sirius—largely because, after years in the constant presence of Dementors, those are nearly literally the only memories he has left.  It’s a wonder he’s got the strength to love Harry and Remus at all.  But then, maybe it isn’t.

This is a Very Serious Fic, but the rest of Duskglass’s HP work is actually just cracky enough to tickle your funny-bone, while still making you think “okay but why couldn’t we have done that in the first place.”

So!  That’s it for recs, for now.  These are all things I’ve found and read in the last month; if any of y’all are interested in my old HP recs, let me know and I can make a post for that, too.  While I’m still very conflicted about my choice of current fandom, I am not in ANY way conflicted about my taste in fic and authors.  Send these guys some love, read their fic if you’re so inclined, and leave some nice comments at the end of it.

[fixielixie]

look i never thought when i first created a tumblr account back when i was like 13 that id ever reach the point where i would be sitting down to make a post on how a fictional character being a DomTop and indulging his partners noncon kink does /not/ somehow destroy his characterisation but here i am.

so the incense burner chapters... admittedly, i can understand why theyre not to everyones taste but ive seen some wild takes on how it "destroys lwjs characterisation and boils him down to a stereotypical top" and tbh i just wanna defend lwj.

as a disclaimer, i just wanna say that personally, i think porn is one of the hardest things to translate well. like porn is already so hard to write well in the first place, so having it go through a translator is always gonna change the quality. so i feel like we should all take that into account before we start the whole "mxtx cant write porn" shit, because maybe her porn slaps but we arent getting the full experience (if any chinese speakers out there who've read the incense burner chapters in chinese wanna correct me on that, feel free to do so).

okay so the first point i wanna hit is that wwx, in contrast to popular belief, had stated his interest in CNC before the incense burner chapters even happen (i would nearly say that him bringing it up might have influence lwjs subconscious in a way). in chapter 115, wwx has a clear fantasy of what he thinks rape play should be, and tries first to insinuate it with lwj. when lwj makes no interest in being the reciever here, wwx offers himself up to which lwj enthusiastically responds.

what this scene does is basically set up a roleplay scene between two consenting parties that they eventually follow through with. an almost foreshadowing of whats to come if you will.

then we have the first incense burner dream. here we see two different vision, wwxs domestic haven and then lwjs fantasy of him and wwx in the library. now, to be fair, lwjs dream is told in a lot of detail and if youre anyway uncomfortable with noncon at all, of course you would find this a very uncomfortable read. to wwx and lwj its just a fantasy, in the same way that when wx first had sex, wwx told him that he should have just forced himself on him in the first place. its clearly a concept wwx in particular thinks a lot about.

but my point here is that lan wangji fantasising about something like this doesnt destroy his character, for the direct narrative sequence it follows, it actually makes sense that he was fantasising about this. especially when so much of wangxians sex dynamic is wwx pushing and prodding at lwjs restraint until he snaps. its clearly a dynamic they both enjoy and eagerly participate in. anyone is perfectly within their right to not like these chapters, but it also probably means you dont like wangxians sex scenes in general considering nearly all of them hold a similar tone, just not as intensely as the ones in the incense burners.

in the second incense burner chapter with a young lan wangji and an older wei wuxian, you actually see wangxian doing the bare minimum of setting up a cnc scene. wwx teases a younger lwj, unsure if its his one of just a dream one like the pervious dream. he wakes up and finds out lwj was actually playing the role of his younger self. both of them with that knowledge enter the dream a second time and then we have the infamous bichen scene.

idk i just feel like people want to make these moments into something theyre not. personally i think wangxians bedroom dynamic fits them perfectly, gay men are allowed to like topping without it being some hidden hate crime. let wangxian do their cringey role play and be freaky. god bless.

[themistakengenius]

-> The "about me" section is inspired by the one and only @cosmiksims 1.) Do you prefer to be referred by your name or blog name? I don't share my real name online but I answer to both MistakenGenius and Blue,(Why blue? Honestly just because it's my fav colour hehe) 2.) Where are you from? I'm from Romania 3.) Do you have pets? 👀 I in fact do, I have 3 cats and a dog, sadly I don't have any pictures of them on my computer so I can't show you them but trust me, they are adorable <33 They're like my children haha 4.) Tell us about your “dream.” Honestly I just want a stable job that I love (I do not want to wake up complaining about going to work, I want to enjoy it!. Be able to financially support myself on my own without depending on other people or a s/o. I want to have kids in the future and I hope my future includes a loyal s/o <3 5.) Aside from art, what are your hobbies? I used to skateboard before Covid, I would go to a skate park and basically just do crazy shit lmfao. I also edit photos and take photos irl and in sims, it's sort of like a passion of mine. I love capturing the moments :P

6.) Does anyone irl know about your blog? Nope

7.) Do you know anyone from your blog irl? Nope

8.) What are some fun facts about you? I've been playing sims for almost 3 years now. I never broke any bones in my body. I used to have a tumblr gameplay but got bored of it lmfao

9.) What’s your day job? I work as a waitress, and I love my job 10.) What’s your aesthetic? I don't think I have any tbh, I just kinda go with whatever vibe I feel like at the time

11.) What kind of artist are you? I draw by hand on paper. I tried digital art a few times and I liked it but I prefer drawing by hand.

12.) How did you get into your form of art? I still haven't gotten into my form of art but it shall happen soon.

13.) What do you watch/listen/read/anything else while you create? I don't like watching anything while I draw because I get distracted easily but I do listen to spotify while I draw

14.) What is your favorite of your own creations so far? Probably this one: I just finished it today. It's Hinata Hyūga from Naruto (I'm such a big fan of Naruto, if you couldn't tell already lmfao)

15.) How would you describe your art style? So far I'd say anime looking/cartoonish

16.) What is more satisfying to you coloring or outlining? Outlining, because you finally get to see your creation coming together. Something about outlining just gives it more depth and I'm so here for it.

17.) What meme would you use to describe yourself?

I have two, because I'm indecisive as fuck >:) (Also replace sir with miss ^-^)

18.) If you were on the run, what would you change your name to? GeniusMistaken ;) I'm kidding, I don't actually know. Probably a very common name so they would take forever to find me. With no face ID, no DNA, no fingerprint ID and just a name you're kinda stuck so. For legal reasons you did not hear that from me wriowjrgjr lmfao

19.) Have you ever or do you want to change blog names? I have in fact changed my blogs name. If you look back at some of my older poses I used to be called "BlueSkies" but I changed to MistakenGenius because I thought it was more fitting with the theme I wanted to go for so yeah

20.) God forbid Tumblr decides to pull a MySpace and lets us have page songs, what song would you choose? I have so many songs in my mind right now and I'm so indecisive I can never pick just one *sobs*. I would probably go for the song "Chicken Tendencies" Please do not feel pressured to do this but imo it was v fun >:D Now for the tags... @peefarts69 @cherryael

@geeky-simz @asplashofsims @rainypurpleskies @orchidlyhere @amelettes @simlishslurs @kubysim @asimofmanyhats @whitemoonshine98 @insimnious @sunniesimmer

[seijorhi]

asks :))

what i have learned today is that y’all wanna get fucked by some monsters...

What does nostos mean? What language is it in? 🤔 also I of course loved it, mind blown as usual queen

it’s ancient greek! it means homecoming, the idea of a triumphant return home for the hero after a long journey. i found it through looking at the root of nostalgia. in this fic of course it’s kind of a grim tongue in cheek play on it. the reader’s coming back to the mountains, but she’s running away after a bad breakup, and the welcome she gets is... shall we say less than ideal haha

Just read nostos-

First of all as a person who reads monster shit- hell ya. Mhm. That’s some good shit right there. That was DELICIOUS horror. It actually had me a bit nervous and afraid to read what was gonna happen next 😳

Secondly- omg I wanna know what happened next (at the end) 👀 know what I mean??? 😼

ANYWAY AS ALWAYS you never disappoint and your writing is fantastic (if/when you write horror yandere stuff again I’ll be there- frothing at the mouth. A+++++ work ILY💖)

you want me to write the monster porn, just say it bby ghfjdkshgfjkd but ty

Omfg that fic was so good!

Did the readers mom know about monster kuroo?? Or was she just worried because of the previous murder? And did Kuroo somehow manipulate reader into coming back to the forest or was it just a big coincidence? (👁👄👁 there's no such thing as a coincidence)

Looking forward to your future work <3

ty nonnie!! i didn’t have the right space for it, but after kohsuke was ripped apart and eaten kuroo stayed by the reader’s side until late in the night, only disappearing when he heard the reader’s parents/search party approaching. they found her lying in pools of blood (and scattered half eaten body parts), shaking and unresponsive – they knew no animal could’ve done something like that. so they knew something lurked in those woods, but considering the reader had repressed the memories, her mom couldn’t just come out and say it <33

You are an AMAZING horror writer!!!

The uneasiness I got from the conversations with the mom is just *chefs kiss*

A+++++

ahh thank you!! horror is such a hard genre to write because i’m never sure if the suspense and everything’s gonna hit right haha

I read Nostos before going to sleep last night and at the time I was like “sure hope this doesn’t give me nightmares” and thankfully it didn’t lol. But I think I’m willing to take that chance again because it’s so GOOD and I think I’m just going to have to relive it – @ohno-otome

fhdjgbfhjkdfn i’m glad it didn’t give you nightmares bby!! but i also appreciate that haha, i’m an absolute wimp with scary movies and stuff but i just can’t stop watching them haha

I just wanna say that I was listening to "You're a psychotic villain playlist" on youtube while reading Kuroo's oneshot and I can't explain the emotions I felt, but I'd let Kuroo do things to me asdfghjkl – @itishebihime-samaforyou

ooh nice! sometimes the right playlist makes things doubly as fun haha

OH MY GOD!?!?! Nostos was soooo GOOD?!?!? Like it was so creepy (but in a good way), and scary and suspenseful!! And the ending!?!? Omggg honestly one my fav fics from you!! You did my mans Kuroo justice 🥺💖💕

TYYYYYYY i was genuinely concerned i was gonna scare everybody off haha

Ah! The new fic! Chiefs kiss! Magnificent! Bravo!🧚‍♀️✨🧞‍♀️🦖🦭🌹💫

tysm nonnie!!! <33

i’m pretty sure i’m in the same/similar timezone as you? and i do be staying up late to be one of the first to read your fics (i usually stay up late anyways). so imagine my surprise when i see you post in the afternoon. in conclusion, whether you post to align with your european and american readers’ timezone, my gmt+10 arse will still be one of the first to read your fics. also nostos sjdufigyyjf i have to admit, i recently just found out about monster fucking and nostos scratched the itch😫 i feel bad for kohsuke though

bby i always post at like 2-4 in the morning please get some sleep!! the fics will be there in the morning lmao. i kinda low key forget about my aussie/gmt+10 followers because i think there’s like... 3 of you haha

Honestly if i could give u a dollar everytime i got off to your fics, you'd probably be rich by now

lmao the idea that people find my fics hot enough to get off to still blows my mind lol

your newest kuroo fic was so SO good!! its totally okay if you dont want to answer this so you can keep things ambiguous but is monster kuroo planning on killing the reader after he's...done with them

thank you, bby!! but no, monster kuroo isn’t gonna eat her – he’s had plenty of chances to do that if that’s what he wanted, but he has other plans for the poor reader

RHI, I WANT TO STATE FOR THE RECORD THAT I AM OKAY WITH MORE MONSTER FUCKING IN THE FUTURE. i also want to say im not a monster fucker, but that just feels like a lie at this point. okay, now that that's off my chest, i love it. the mystery, the connections of kuroo to a cat. kuroo's probably gonna go and batter around his prey once they're under his grip like my cat does. hopefully the reader will come out somewhat unscathed, if they are ever allowed to leave 😌 love this, love how different it is, the way kuroo just tries to weasel in. very monster and yandere vibes, very you. have i said i love this yet?? id willingly let him get me drunk on his cock, maybe never leave the peace of the mountains again

‘i want to say that i’m not a monster fucker’ bby the denial will get you nowhere haha. just lean in and embrace it hgfjkdlkfgjnkdl ahh but thank you this is such a sweet ask ILY!!!

Omg omg the monster thing kuroo was in ur latest fic is so familiar to me abdhdmfnjfjf. I remember being told abt a monster with VERY SIMILAR characteristics to it (aka the not being able to go inside a house unless invited and using fire to lure ppl out) AND JFC IT TERRIFIED ME. Esp how when i told ppl around me and they didnt recognize what it was, but it was somehow known to the kid that told me abt it.

(Some ppl thought it was familiar but still didnt know what it was)

Do u know what im talking abt? Hopefully u do

-🥚

GHFJDK so the monster in this is kind of based off the nekomata spirit in japanese folklore - they can appear like people, torment victims by reanimating the corpses of their loved ones, they’ve been blamed for forest fires, so it was just fun to use that as a basis and then go buck wild haha. anyway thanks for the ask bby!

Rest In Peace Kohsuke, you would’ve loved Haikyuu season 5😔✊– @joyvstheworld

poor kohsuke deserved better, i’m just mean to the oc’s i throw into fics haha

Monsterfucking ❤❤❤❤❤❤ a little annoyed you're making me simp for yan Kuroo though (a vibe tho tbh). You're so extremely talented!!!! &

This is probably a stupid question, but how did Kageyama react when he couldn't find y/n? How is life with yan Suga? I imagine probably awful BUT yknow maybe the stockholm syndrome set in fast lmao. Sorry, I'm going on a binge reading your stuff. - @oracleofdin

i will not apologise for making you simp for kuroo he deserves it the man’s a snacc. and as far as your second question, suga’s a very caring, very smothering kinda yandere, so i guess in some ways it’s better than what the reader had with kageyama but... pick your poison haha

That was so good. I’m so shook rn I can’t comprehend anything but how good that was and how good a writer you are

TYSM NONNIE!!! <33

Ok, so, I just read Final Girl and the lil' ticket addition to it and just---

Well, ok I've been playing Dead by Daylight a lot lately? And I'm just picturing Tetsu as the newest killer "The Trickster" and I'm positively RANDY.

Your writing is ALREADY thirst inducing and just as satisfying, but this has SENT ME- If you're not familiar, please...

https://youtu.be/iowkiPobYYQ

Understand my thirst. (I'd also like to clarify, I use a different skin for him that gives him black hair and he looks like Kuroo with an undercut.)

~ @the-casual-hedonist 🌸

i love how feral y’all got for final girl kuroo. like bo and akaashi had his fans, but i put a spiked bat in kuroo’s hands and y’all lost your goddamn minds and i love to see it. fghdjkvhfjdkls thanks for the ask bby

idk why but I love preggo reader as long as I don't pretend it's me 😢✋ I hate babies n pregnancy anywhere else other than horny haikyuu fics

i think that’s a valid thing for a lot of fans. the idea of breeding is sexy, the actual getting pregnant and having a kid thing... not so much. but especially with non-con scenario’s, it’s more about the aspect on control than the actual desire to have kids. but yeah, i feel you

Sorry to bother but uh was just wondering in fracture did Osamu kill his wife or was it actually an “unfortunate event” ? Love your work btw!!

he most certainly did :))

LMFAO RHI i totally get not liking cheating/infidelity fics (towards reader) bc IT HIRTS ME SO BAD I CANNOT HANDLE THOSE.

id be reading fics those fics like: tf you mean my yandere aimt gonna baby me and only want me??🤨🤨🤨⁉️‼️

EXACTLY! listen i get that it’s a fucked up fantasy, but in my fucked up fantasy you damn well better have the decency to be loyal smh

Finders keepers is the most beautiful thing I've read by you: I read it twice like I normally do and here's what I figured out the second time (that's when I analyze it and find the little tidbits of things that are much darker than they appear (: )

To start I LOVE THE DETAILS OF THEM NEVER TEACHING READER ANYTHING- at first I assumed "oh they might see her as a little sister or child or something" but realized thAT WAS THE ISSUE!! they infantilize her and isolate her from everyone but her group. the small details like that are what make the story amazing 😎💅

ahh thank you so much, nonnie!! pls this is making me soft 🥺

I just wanted to stop by and say that I love your writing and I hope you're doing well!!! Drink plenty of water and keep up the amazing work :) but seriously you're one of the best fanfic writers I've seen on tumblr! I read your "Imitation" piece about kuroo and i keep coming back to it, it's so good! I did want to ask if you think it'd be possible for the reader to ever escape with the baby (or at least attempt to). Or if Kenma would "help" at all just to put an end to kuroo's antics lmao

kenma would in no way help the reader, and tbh by that point if kuroo did get her pregnant, she’d be far too emotionally dependant on him to actually even want to leave, but thanks for the ask!

You know who I think would be a perfect Yandere in the JJK world? Choso.

🚨Spoilers Ahead🚨

After being locked in a glass jar for however long he was, and all that happened with his brothers, I feel like he would absolutely never let his darling out of his sight. He would be possessive. Obsessive. And Oh So delusional. Sure he’d be your anything - he truly is a softy - but to what end?🤤

choso would make an excellent yandere, ngl 😌

what au/troupe of your fav character(s) that you have written do you like the most?

(rlly hope this makes sense🙏)

i am always a slut for soulmate au’s :))

[lilydalexf]

Old School X is a project interviewing X-Files fanfic authors who were posting fic during the original run of the show. New interviews are posted every Tuesday.

Interview with Tabula Rasa

Tabula Rasa has 8 stories at Gossamer, but there are even more X-Files fics at AO3 and her website. She writes Mulder and Scully in a very lovely way. I've recced 3 of my favorites of her fics here before: Bird in Snow, Fall: East on M St, and Skuamorph. Big thanks to Tabula Rasa for doing this interview.

Does it surprise you that people are still interested in reading your X-Files fanfics and others that were posted during the original run of the show (1993-2002)?

I'm always extremely pleasantly surprised to get kudos (or, very rarely, a comment) on my old fic, but I'm always happy to see it! I did post them all (I think) to AO3. I'm not surprised people are still reading fic, though. It's an iconic show and now with streaming, it's really easy to watch older shows and natural to want fic about them!

What do you think of when you think about your X-Files fandom experience? What did you take away from it?

XF was my first fandom, definitely my first online fandom, and so it will always have a special place in my heart. Also... I had a great time! I stumbled upon and joined the Scullyfic email list by accident, but it was the best thing I could have done. I learned a lot about how to be a writer and how to be in fandom, and those lessons are still important to me. Foundational. Also, in terms of modern fandom drama, XF was more low-key on the drama (although it didn't seem like it at the time!). But I learned something that's always served me well: find like-minded people, and hang out with them. Don't worry about the rest.

Also... you can't control the show, but you kind of can control the canon.

Because of Scully, I ended up taking a forensic anthropology class in university-- and now I have a Master's in a forensic science! Part of the Scully Effect, and proud of it!

Social media didn't really exist during the show's original run. How were you most involved with the X-Files online (atxc, message board, email mailing list, etc.)?

Definitely mostly email list! I never really got the hang of message boards. Posting fic was exhausting, and tbh I never figured out how to work Ephemeral. I checked it every day, though! I loved, after a new episode, everyone sending in their thoughts and reading everyone's experiences together. Fandom was a lot more work back then, tbh!

What did you take away from your experience with X-Files fic or with the fandom in general?

That fic can be just as good, or better, than traditionally published works. There are works of XF fic that have stuck with me for years now, far more than some books I've read. That fan writers can know the characters better than the show writers. The fandom in general was really smart, and mostly more adult than me (I joined fandom when I went away to college, so I always felt at the younger end of the scale. That was good though!).

Also, my first time reading and writing porn. Not gonna lie, I was shocked the first time I accidentally read smut. But I adjusted fast. lol

What was it that got you hooked on the X-Files as a show?

I was still a kid (now we would say preteen) when the show premiered- I think in middle school. But I was already into ghosts, aliens, monsters, solving mysteries, and I'd already imprinted on the dynamic thanks to Square One (really)! I was also just old enough to start developing celebrity crushes. Hilariously, I did not twig to the fact that I'm bisexual the entire time I was in XF fandom, despite having enormous crushes on BOTH Mulder and Scully. Ahhhh!

Also, my whole family was into the show, but I was definitely the one with the hyperfixation. I used to take notes and record the episodes as I watched. It just had the right stuff and hit at the right time. And I've always been obsessive.

What got you involved with X-Files fanfic?

As a kid I also really liked Star Trek, and someone had given my dad a book about the history of Star Trek, which I read. This included mentions of fandom and fanfic. As soon as I had a private-- and perhaps more importantly fast-- internet connection (in college), I went looking for XF fanfic, and that was that. Hooked immediately. Also I shipped them A LOT so that's what I went looking for.

What is your relationship like now to X-Files fandom?

I tend to not go back to a fandom once I have a new fandom, so I wouldn't say I'm in it. I did hang around the edges for the revival, of course, because I wanted to experience that with the same people, but since the revival was mostly not that great (with a few exceptions), I didn't get pulled back into it. But I still think of the people I knew in the fandom a lot, and always hope they're doing well.

Were you involved with any fandoms after the X-Files? If so, what was it like compared to X-Files?

I've never left fandom, and I've been in a BUNCH: Harry Potter, Doctor Who, Bandom, Supernatural, now CQL/The Untamed and other Chinese-media fandoms, with many smaller ones in between or on the side. I feel like at their core fandoms tend to be similar, although where you host the fandom makes a big difference: Livejournal, tumblr, twitter. I think that because fandoms now tend to be bigger and more diverse (which is good) there tends to be more wank (which is bad). In some of them I was close to a group of people, some of them not. Honestly the best thing is when someone you know from an old fandom is in your new fandom. It's so much fun. I have really good friends thanks to fandom, and I've had them for YEARS. Like. 15 years.

Who are some of your favorite fictional characters? Why?

I tend to focus more on ships than characters, but some of my all-time favs: Scully, Hermione, Sirius Black, Castiel, Lan Wangji, Xie Lian. That's just fandom-oriented ones, otherwise we'd be here all day. :D

Do you ever still watch The X-Files or think about Mulder and Scully?

I don't often rewatch episodes any more, although if I come across an ep on tv I might. I definitely still think about them though! For example, I'm a teacher now, and just a couple weeks ago one of my colleagues mentioned he'd heard the students saying they shipped two of their classmates, and he was like "Ship? I don't get it" and I was like "HOO BOY, do I have a story for you!" And I explained how shipping came from XF fandom, and why. That was fun. I definitely still think about Mulder and Scully too-- I mean, they're cultural touchstones, so they do come up sometimes in greater pop culture. Also, I was in Hannibal fandom for a while, and Gillian Anderson is still The Best.

Do you ever still read X-Files fic? Fic in another fandom?

I haven't read XF fic in years, even the ones I remember as being really significant/important to me. I still have my all-time favs saved on an external HD though! Fic in another fandom- every day lol.

Do you have any favorite X-Files fanfic stories or authors?

Blinded by White Light by DashaK has stuck with me. Mr. and Mrs. Smith and the Ruby-Throated Warbler by I forget I'm so sorry -- that's lasted as my ideal post-canon MSR and as an interesting and different way to tell a story.  [Lilydale note: It’s by rah.] I was always thrilled to see fic by Brandon, JET, MaybeAmanda, Syntax6... and, frankly, everyone on the Scullyfic/ Emuse list. So many talented people in that fandom!

What is your favorite of your own fics, X-Files and/or otherwise?

Things Outside, which is the only thing I've ever written based on a dream, and I'm really satisfied with it. It was hard to write but so much fun to revel in the weirdness. I always kind of wanted to write more because I know a lot more about the situation, but otoh, I like the open, ambiguous ending (usually I am very HEA).

In other fandoms, King & Country in bandom (MCR) and in Supernatural I'm very proud of Hope and Clay. I struggle to write casefics even though I love to read them, but that one really worked out.

Do you think you'll ever write another X-Files story? Or dust off and post an oldie that for whatever reason never made it online?

I don't think I'll ever write something new. There is an old fic that may be done but it was smut so I was too shy to post it at the time. In theory if I find it and it's decent, I could post it!

Do you still write fic now? Or other creative work?

I do! I write fic very slowly, but I do write still! I have a million ideas for stories, but I'm so slow at the actual writing part.

Where do you get ideas for stories?

I usually take a jumping-off point from canon, or of course, something I need to fix or expand on. Or sometimes I start telling myself a story as I fall asleep and the idea grabs me long enough I can manage to write it.

What's the story behind your pen name?

I was getting into fandom and realized people didn't use their real names. I flipped through my history book looking for inspiration, and decided tabula rasa was a great name for a writer. I tend to add an X because it's rare to get "tabularasa" as a username, and the X is indeed for X-Files (so I'm something like tabulaxrasa most places). I usually go by Tabula Rasa or Tab, though. And I still use it because 1) it IS a great name for a writer; and 2) it's not fandom-specific so I can keep it in every fandom.

I identify with it so much I have answered to this name in class (oops). I have a "Tab" t-shirt (as in the soda, but I have worn it to Comic-Con for ease of ID-- better than a nametag!). And my mom got me a necklace with a "tab" typewriter key as a charm, which I adore. Yes, I have accidental merch of myself.

Do your friends and family know about your fic and, if so, what have been their reactions?

As you can tell from the above, my family knows (my family being my parents and sister). They are supportive! I think my mom read a couple stories? But obviously she has to know the fandom to get it... I got my sister into fic, and we even wrote a couple fics together (in Gundam Wing). She's a lot more selective about fandoms, but she's joined fandoms on her own, too. She's just not in one constantly, like me. :p

I tend not to tell not-online friends unless I have felt them out and know they're super fannish, or they bring it up first.

Is there a place online (tumblr, twitter, AO3, etc.) where people can find you and/or your stories now?

Most of my old fic is now on AO3 and I hang out on twitter a lot, @tabula_x_rasa

Is there anything else you'd like to share with fans of X-Files fic?

I'm really glad people are still in this fandom! It will always be so important to me. Thank you Lilydale, for this nostalgia trip!

(Posted by Lilydale on March 30, 2021)