#never made it past halfway of s4 ever

[bingus-bing-bong]

Finished series 3 of wolfblood :( and it reminded me that kid me had the best habit of rejecting cannon

Theres a Big villian speech about his reasons for doing The Bad Things and i straight up as a kid went "oh he must be lying" as it sounded like utter bullocks to me at the time.

And honestly bringing this back. Characters lie whenever i dont like them of think its bad writing <3

[anxresi]

I Beg To Differ.

Okay, now just because I'm about to embark on an epic rant does NOT mean I think anything bad about you as a person, OP. It's just on this one teensie-weensie most minor of points, I happen to think you're 100% wrong. Just thought I'd clarify that, so no offense intended. Anyway, on with the show...

Nah, they did us SO dirty with Chloe. I hear your above argument a lot, and it WOULD be a fair point… if it wasn't for the fact that there are SO many clear signs this wasn't what was intended from the beginning that it makes your reasoning completely null and void. Chloe's 'arc' was the most blatant case of in-show character assassination I've ever had the displeasure of witnessing, and I'm about to explain why. Read on! (If you want to, that is.... no pressure).

They strung us along for at least three seasons with various hints about her 'traumatic past', her problems with her often absent mother (which Marinette didn't help by encouraging them to bond because 'they're both such awful people'), showed her genuinely apologizing to her victims, protecting Sabrina from akumatization and having times when she treated her as a real friend, sacrificing herself to save the day occasionally, hugging Miss Bustier in a moment of genuine emotion, telling Ladybug how 'useless' she felt in a teary rooftop encounter, saving lives both as a superhero and a civilian (check back if you don't believe me), giving Adrien a moving speech on his phone about how 'she'd always be there for him', sharing a really close bond with her father, telling her butler Jean it was time she started doing things for herself, loving Mr Cuddly, adoring Pollen… I could go on. Not the best person in the world, true.... but a promising start. Green shoots, and all that. Her name literally means that.

S4 simply forgot any of this happened, and literally pushed her burgeoning development off a cliff with Sisyphu's boulder tied to it's big toe. There was NO build-up, NO foreshadowing, NO precedent for Chloe suddenly becoming a one-dimensional total-sociopath irredeemable-monster AT ALL, they simply made her that way on a whim. They had her start acting like a complete psycho for the evilz, made her the most stupid person in the show BY FAR, severed ALL of her few close relationships, wrote AN ENTIRE FLASHBACK EPISODE in incrimate her newfound nastiness even more and 'punished' her by sending her off exiled on a plane in tears with her abusive mother to… what else? Get abused, of course. GREAT MESSAGE TO ALL THE VULNERABLE TEENAGE GIRLS OUT THERE. (I won't even get into how utterly useless and blandly boring her 'replacement' of a plot device Mary S... oops, I mean Zoe is).

And we're supposed to believe the former corrupt mayor Andre, the terrorist Gabriel Agreste and Thomas Astruc (you know him) are the GOOD guys here? Well, I'd like to tell you what I'd like to do to them… but for fear of censorship, I'd better withhold that particular information for now.

The upshot of it is… if Chloe had been bad from the beginning and terrible at the end, I'd have accepted it. Heck, if her so-called damnation arc was even halfway well written and gave us an accurate and compelling look at the moral descent a person who's capable of redemption could take to the light but ultimately chose to stay on the Dark Side, this would've been highly disappointing to me but fine from a storytelling perspective.

But they didn't give us anything like that, did they? It was just… 'pretend the last three seasons never happened, develop amnesia, hit yourself repeatedly on the head with a shovel… we don't care. Just accept this is the NEW Chloe without question despite past evidence, because you won't be getting any answers. Now let's go back to what we're REALLY here for… Marichat, Ladynoire, Adrinette and that other stupid ship name. SWOON!'

Thanks, but no thanks. Did I ever tell you how much I HATE this stupid show? Apologies if I didn't make that clear enough.

[idabbleincrazy]

Revelation

Fandom: Smallville

Rating: M

Pairing: Clark/Lex

Word Count: 3010

Warnings: s4 au, crossdressing, corsets, Lex learns the truth, reconciliation, hurt/comfort

Summary: Lex comes to talk things out, and learns Clark has more secrets than he thought.

A/N: prompted by @leatafandom May become a two-parter. Set somewhere before Devoted.

Squares Filled: Boy Next Door, Lying/Betrayal/Secrets/Omission/Exclusion, Coming Out, Lingerie/Garters/Crotchless Panties/Corset/Stockings/Only a Large Shirt ( @julybreakbingo ), "Collect and treasure every memory, and never count the cost" ( @fandombingo - Wonderland Bingo), Corset ( @fandom-free-bingo ), Estrangement ( @hurtcomfort-bingo ),

Coming Out ( @anyfandomgoesbingo ), Coming Out ( @lgbtqbingo )

Lex wasn't sure why he was even here. Well, he was, but he wasn't being that honest with himself at the moment, so no, he didn't know why he was pulling his car to a quiet stop along the dirt path that led to the Kent's barn. He also didn't know why he got out of the car with more than a little trepidation, keeping his steps silent, not wanting to alert the young man he knew would be up in the loft of the old rust red barn he was walking towards to his presence, allowing him a chance to pull off one of those infamous disappearing acts that never actually happened. 

His relationship with Clark had been the dizziest of rollercoasters ever since the summer they'd both gone missing; one by betrayal, one by choice. They'd come back to this quaint, not-so-quiet town and found each other again, their friendship right back where they'd left it; at first. But slowly, deeper secrets and deepened trust issues had worked their way between them, culminating in the discovery of one secret that never should have existed in the first place. 

He hadn't been able to get Clark to speak to him since he'd found out about the room that was and wasn't about him. Three long, miserable months since Clark had shown up at the courthouse and pushed past him without a word, testimony given and gone in the blink of an eye. Three months of realization that life was never so desolate as when the light that followed Clark Kent around was refused to him. 

And so, here he was, trying one last time to reach out, to stand and bask in the effulgence that was a teenaged Kansan farm boy, and hope he would be able to give a good enough apology to no longer be denied the shining beacon that made his life a little less dismal. He didn't care about what Clark was hiding from him anymore, didn't care if the young brunette was a mutant, or something more, or just a normal boy who just so happened to be a little more heroic than the average teen. He just wanted him. However much of him he could get. 

He kept his steps quiet even as he trudged up the stairs ro Clark's Fortress of Solitude, taking care to avoid the creaky step halfway up. Reaching the top, he was glad he had. Otherwise, he never would have learned this secret.

Standing at the top of the steps, Lex had to stifle the gasp of surprise that filled his throat as he looked across the loft, sure that the moonlight streaking in through the open window was causing his eyes to play tricks on him. Surely, Clark Kent was not standing at the other end of the loft, in front of a full length mirror, shirtless. In leather pants. And holding a red and black corset to his chest. 

Blinking, waiting - and dreading - for the image to disappear, he watched Clark wrap the leather corset around himself, muscles straining as he tried to tighten the stays. The image never vanished, and after a minute of watching the impossibly erotic struggle, Lex took pity, brushing aside all the why's and how's, and took a step further into the loft. 

"Need some help?"

Clark yelped in shock, dropping the corset as he whirled around to face the unexpected intruder into his sacred space.

"Lex! Wha-what are you doing here?" His voice was caught somewhere between fear, fury, embarrassment, and indignation, fluctuating from squeaky to gravely and back again. Lex watched his foot out of the corner of his eye as it tried to kick the now offensive garment into the shadows of the room. "Why are you here?"

"Well, you haven't been answering my calls, texts, or emails, Clark, and I figured you probably wouldn't appreciate me giving the town gossips more fodder, so I decided to cancel the skywriting. If Mohammed won't go to the mountain…" Lex trailed off with a shrug, trying to keep his face blank of the arousal he felt coursing through him, thickening his cock. He nodded his head at the pile of fabric on the floor. "Your secret's safe, by the way."

There was enough light in the room to see the deep blush that darkened Clark's golden skin, the flush traveling enticingly from his cheeks to his neck, and down over his chest. Lex's eyes followed the rise of color, down over the expanse of exposed skin, gaze soon distracted by the reminder of the existence of leather pants, fabric stretched so tight across broad thighs they looked like they were painted on. His brain didn't know what to do with the fact that the groin area was bulging slightly out, and so simply refused to acknowledge it. 

Apparently angered by his own reaction to Lex's soft comfort, Clark let out a snort of derision. 

"Yeah, right. Safe. Where is it safe, Lex? In your private little stalker room?" Clark stepped forward, hands clenching into tight fists at his sides, and Lex couldn't help a shiver, of fear, of arousal, not when the evidence of all those surmised muscles were actually bared to his sight. "Gonna take a picture, Lex? Add it to your collection of me? Bet it would make a nice addition to that digital scrapbook you've got going. Or, wait, maybe you could take the corset with you, put it on display front and center, next to that bullet-mobile."

Lex pinched the bridge of his nose, his erection still not deflating despite the beginnings of a headache. This was exactly what he didn't want. He came here to make amends, not start the same argument all over again. 

"Clark, please, just stop and listen." Lex chanced a glance up at Clark's face, letting out a sigh of relief as the brunette heaved a breath but remained silent. The fact that Lex hardly ever used the word please must've given the young man pause, as Lex could see how badly Clark wanted to continue his - somewhat justified - rant. "I didn't come here to argue. I came to give you the explanation you wouldn't give me the chance to voice that day. Look, I get how that room could be taken as an invasion of privacy. I do. But I wasn't lying when I said that room was more about me than anything else."

Unable to just stand there anymore, Lex stepped away from the top of the stairs and carefully sat down on the tattered couch, turning his body to an angle that would hopefully diminish the obviousness of the tenting of his slacks. Clark turned, but didn't step any closer to him, chest heaving out breaths like a well-run horse, no doubt restraining a desire to grab Lex by the throat and toss him from the loft window. 

"Clark, ever since you first rescued me, I've been given so many second chances. I…I just want…I need to know why. And yes, so much of what has happened to me during my time here in Smallville has circled around you, but I can't help that. It's also centered around Chloe, and Lana, and Pete-"

"But none of their pictures are up on those walls, Lex. None of them. Just me, and my parents."

"Nobody's picture is up on those walls now, Clark. It's all gone. Except for the Porsche, compressed into a clump of twisted metal. It's the only reminder I've allowed myself to keep."

That brought Clark up short, his head cocking back, eyes narrowing in suspicious confusion. 

"Why? Why get rid of it all now?"

"Because I realized it wasn't worth it. None of it. The questions, the answers. None of it matters if it costs me the best friend, the only real friend, I've ever had." Lex turned back towards Clark, no longer caring if the brunette witnessed the truth his body revealed. "I'm a Luthor, Clark. Boundaries were always things to be crossed, not heeded, I never fully comprehended what I was putting at risk by satisfying my curiosity. I didn't realize what was at stake."

"Collect and treasure every memory, and never count the cost."

"Have we gone down the rabbit hole, Clark?"

"I think you've finally pulled yourself out of it." Clark heaved a gusty sigh, turning back towards the mirror, and Lex watched his reflection as green eyes fell closed. "I don't want to fight anymore, Lex. I don't want to hold onto that anger. I've missed you, these last few months, but I just don't…I don't know if I can trust you, Lex, not after that. And now, this."

"I meant what I said, Clark. Your secret's safe. All of them. Even the ones I don't know."

Clark's head hung down, chin against his chest, and Lex watched a shudder run through the broad frame. He stood and silently stepped up behind him, gulping down his nerves when Clark tensed, inexplicably alerted to his presence.

"I'm still a curious man, though, Clark. It's just my nature. And, I can't help but wonder about this new mystery." 

"Why don't you sound disgusted?" Clark's eyes opened and met his in the mirror, emeralds shimmering with unshed fearful tears.

"Should I be?" Lex reached out and placed a hand on Clark's shoulder, unable to stop his eyes from fluttering at the feel of warm, golden skin beneath his fingers. "Clark, it's nothing to be ashamed of, it's just unexpected, that's all. You know, Achilles disguised himself as a woman to try to circumvent a prophecy; Joan of Arc dressed in men's clothes just to make life simpler and for better protection in battle. It's not like you're the first person, nor the last, to wear clothes designated to the opposite gender. It's not disgusting, Clark; quite the opposite. I'm sure you look just as stunning in a corset as you do in a t-shirt and jeans."

Lex waited for the last bit of his consolation to sink in, nervous as to how Clark would react. Plenty of men and women crossdressed without even a smattering of attraction to the same sex, simply wearing what they felt good in, what made them feel like themselves. Ed Wood wore angora, but never once sought out the sexual companionship of another man. Clark could still very much be straight. 

"Lex?" 

Confusion and unsurety shone in Clark's eyes, a glint of hope peeking out behind them. Lex took pity once more and bent down to pick up the discarded pile of silk and lace. 

"I'll help you into this, if you tell me when this started."

Clark watched Lex straighten from his bend, calculating. Lex kept silent, trying to keep his heart from thumping out of his chest as he awaited an answer. 

It came in the form of Clark lifting his arms out from his sides, peridot eyes slipping closed once more with a stuttered sigh.

"How long, Clark?" 

"Since Metropolis." The words were quiet, barely discernible. Lex stepped closer and reached around Clark with the corset in one hand, the other looping around his other side to catch the fabric and wrap around his torso, slipping the silky contraption into place from just beneath his armpits down to just above the waistband of his leather pants. Clark's hands lowered to spread flat along his waist, holding the corset in place for Lex to work the stays. "I found out a lot about myself that summer. I was at a club, one night, and I dunno, it just kinda happened. I don't really like talking about those months."

Lex looked up from where his fingers were threading thin silk ribbon in and out of eyelets, catching the grimace on Clark's face.

"I know what you mean. Wasn't exactly my best summer vacation, either." 

Clark's eyes opened and met Lex's in the mirror, grimace softening into sympathy, green and blue sharing their pain. Clark swallowed hard, and Lex watched the movement of his Adam's apple over his shoulder, his cock still painful against his zipper. 

"This, though…this just…felt right. I-I can't…I don't know how to explain it."

"I understand, Clark." Lex wrenched his gaze away from the mirror, refocusing on lacing up the corset. Once he finished threading the laces, he adjusted the corset, making sure the supporting cups and boning were aligned properly to maximize the intended result once the corset was tightened. He could already see how the garment would turn Clark's pectorals into the perfect illusion of breasts. He had to swallow before speaking. "How tight? I don't want to cause you discomfort."

Clark looked back at him in the mirror, his gaze startlingly open. 

"You can't hurt me, Lex. Not physically, anyway. But I think you already know that."

Lex nodded, once, and focused his attention back on the laces, picking them back up, one in each hand, and wrapping the sturdy ribbon around his fingers for leverage. Clark leaned forward and braced his hands against the wall as Lex began to tug. For all of Clark's apparent resilience, Lex was surprised to see his torso conforming to the reworked shaping of the corset as it pulled his waist in. 

Lex continued tightening the laces until the boning tapered down to just above each leather covered buttock, and tied the ribbons into a neat bow at the small of Clark's back. Clark straightened up, took a breath, and turned around to face him, eyes downcast. 

"Told you you'd look stunning."

Clark's gaze shot up from the floor, lips twitching in a small, shy smile. 

"Yeah?"

"Clark, you could wear an empty feed sack and still outshine Heidi Klum. You're…" Lex bit his tongue, afraid to confess too much, too soon. 

But Clark, apparently, wasn't going to let that go.

"I'm what, Lex?"

Lex looked him over again, from the way his chest heaved beneath the sturdy fabric, cleavage created from the ample muscle mass, to his waist, now so narrow that even Lex's smaller hands could span the breadth of it, thumbnail to thumbnail at his navel, and curl around the sides of his manipulated torso. He'd always found the sheer bulk of the younger man to be a comforting thing, something that could keep him safe; now, despite those still brawny shoulders, and bulging biceps, he felt the opposite. This was someone he needed to protect. Someone so fragile, so insecure and vulnerable. He yearned to pull Clark into his embrace, to turn him to face the mirror once more and show him how amazing he was, how…

"Beautiful. You're beautiful, Clark." Lex stepped closer to Clark, hand reaching up to his face, palm flat against a warm cheek. Amazed and encouraged that Clark did flinch back at the touch, he let his fingers creep upwards, brushing through silky bangs that were longer than they had been that awful day. "You're really not quite the boy next door that everyone thinks you are, are you?"

Clark closed his eyes and leaned into the gentle touch, his lips turning down into a slight frown.

"I…I'm not quite human, Lex."

The words were uttered so softly, Lex wasn't sure he'd really heard them. His fingers paused in their stroking for a fraction of a second before he recovered, locking away any of his typical reactions to such a discovery of truth. This was Clark. And no matter how badly he wanted Clark's secrets, he would always want Clark more. He waited for Clark to continue on his own, unwilling to push and break this fragile moment between them. 

"Lex?"

"Hmm?"

Clark's eyes opened, sparkling and wary and so very, very young. Lex wanted to clutch the boy to him and soothe away all that fear and uncertainty.

"Did…did you hear what I just said?"

"Yes. Not quite human. So? You're far from the only meteor mutant in town. You're not even the only meteor mutant in this barn."

Clark pulled out of reach of Lex's fingers, face screwed up in a grimace again. The brunette began trembling, looking so much less than his seventeen years.

"No, Lex, that's not what I meant. I'm not a mutant, either. Lex, I-I'm an…I'm an alien!"

Lex kept his face schooled, and slowly stepped back up to Clark, taking hold of his hands, his thumbs brushing over warm, soft skin in an attempt to comfort him. 

"I had my suspicions, when I found that octagonal disk, but I wrote it off as improbable when there was nothing more conclusive. Thank you, Clark. Thank you for telling me." 

"How can you be so calm about this?! I just told you I'm from another planet, and you're thanking me?"

"Clark, I didn't come here tonight for your secret. I came because I needed to get my best friend back. After everything I've seen since I've come to Smallville, after everything we've been through, is it really such a huge leap from meteor mutant to alien? I'm more shocked that you've finally decided to trust me than to learn that you're from another planet."

Clark stared at Lex, eyes wide with surprise at how the older man was taking the revelation. Four years of worry and fear about what Lex might do if he ever learned about what Clark was, and he hadn't even cracked through that businessman façade. Lex had shown more surprise over the corset, and even that had only rattled him the smallest bit. Clark's heart sped as he took in the whole of the man before him, the way he had accepted the crossdressing, the way he just rolled with it when Clark told him the one answer Lex had been searching for all this time, his thumbs still rubbing soothing circles on the backs of his hands. He could always tell when Lex was being less than truthful with him, and all he saw now was open honesty. Without really thinking about it, Clark leaned in towards the slightly shorter man, and pressed his lips to Lex's.

~~~~~~

@leatafandom

[unpopularly-opinionated]

I’ve been watching How to Get Away With Murder lately and let me just say I’ve had several topics that this fucking show has made me want to blog about that I just don’t wanna spam y’all with so let me bullet point this for you:

Warning: Long AF post about complete nonsense.

1. I never finished Scandal (another series by Shonda Rhimes) but I sure did watch a shit ton of it and I used to genuinely think it was a great show at the time. Haven’t seen it in a while so I’m not sure how exactly I’d feel now, but if watching HTGAWM has shown me anything it’s that god does this woman suck at writing characters. She’s pretty good at writing serialized legal/political dramas, I’ll give her that, but she legitimately only has like maybe 4-5 character archetypes that she just copied and pasted from Scandal onto this show, and boy do the flaws show in this series.

You’ve got the strong, black female lead whose job it is to basically fix problems, ethically or unethically, she pretends to care but doesn’t really.

You’ve got the sociopathic do-it-all guy who does all the unethical dirty work including breaking and entering, kidnapping, killing, destroying evidence, planting evidence, etc. with a troubled past of being in prison.

You’ve got the incredibly basic girl who starts off all shy and cute like she’s an innocent little sunflower, who then falls in love with the sociopathic do-it-all guy which inevitably leads her down a similar road of corruption.

You’ve even got the soft-spoken, ‘dreamy’ white man that the lead has the hots for (as well as the mentally-damaged white girl).

There’s probably more, but honestly that’s all I can remember from Scandal at this point. It’s actually kind of insane to me how it’s literally just the same exact characters just transplanted to a different plot. I don’t know much about her personally, but she strikes me as someone who would probably make bank writing romance novels or Y/N fanfic.

2. Binge watching shows has ruined pacing of older shows, such as HTGAWM, because without that weeklong break in the middle (sometimes longer for holidays) you overlook details because you don’t have time to process them properly, and oftentimes plot points that require time passing (such as relationships, breakups, etc.) can fail completely because it’s not really believable when a couple is together one episode, breaks up to be w/ someone else the next, says “I love you” the next, and is pregnant in the next (yes, this is something that actually happened in HTGAWM).

3. Just in general, the writing for this show really begins to plummet after just S1, but mostly S2. I’ll give them credit where credit is due, a lot of shows that begin with this ‘hook’-like idea--in this case murder and how to get away with it--tend to fail miserably by wrapping up that initial hook in the first season and then winging it every season after that. This show surprisingly doesn’t do that, and every season begins with a new murder that they then have to “get away with” (almost comically-so).

But as I said, this woman doesn’t seem to know how to write characters, at least not likeable or consistent ones. It sometimes feels like I’m watching reality TV or something because a lot of the conflict between characters is incredibly forced. I’m halfway through S4 and despite the fact that these people love to profess how much they love each other, they’re a family, etc. in nearly every episode you’ve got someone “not trusting” someone else, someone keeping secrets “just because”, or someone yelling at someone else for something because it’s “all their fault” when like none of that is ever actually true.

Oliver and Conner broke up because Oliver felt like the relationship wasn’t healthy because, even after he lied to Conner about something really fucking important, Conner instantly forgave him, which yeah sure that absolutely sucks and is a totally valid reason to break up with someone, albeit a sad one because obviously you two still love each other...except in the next fucking episode, Conner is hooking up w/ strangers and Oliver is genuinely considering jumping into another relationship, and also Oliver is changing his story and claiming the reason he broke up w/ Conner was actually Conner’s fault because of like trust issues or something which just isn’t true at all?? It was a wild retcon that came out of nowhere for no other reason other than I guess she needed them to sleep w/ other people that season.

Also I’m sorry but how is Michaela supposed to be even a remotely redeemable character when she’s written to be this huge uptight, racist, homophobic (or possibly biphobic), bitch? I don’t think she ever gets better. Right from the get go in S1, she has this whole ordeal over her fiancé having had one gay experience many years ago when he was younger, and like okay I would understand it if it was just about the fact that he didn’t tell her about it, but she continued to spiral out over it, accusing any man even in the vicinity of him as being his secret lover, and continues to badmouth him as “gay” (I can’t write tone here, but she says it in a very accusing way) to the others including Conner who is literally gay. There’s also never really a refutation to this either, so by the time Aiden is completely out of the picture, I guess we’re left to just assume he is actually gay, despite all possible evidence pointing to the contrary. But I guess all of this is A-OK because she becomes GBFs w/ Conner later for...some reason, I guess.

Then there’s the way she treats Asher which, in the beginning I was like okay fair, he’s the douchey frat boy character. Totally understandable why you’d treat him like an asshole. But when they hook up and eventually get together, she is so unbelievably racist towards him??? She’s constantly going on about “white boy” this and “white people” that, and the poor dude just takes it because he’s super whipped.

The way she also talks about other black people is even off, like if she wasn’t black (and Shonda Rhimes wasn’t black) I would daresay it comes across as fetishistic. In fact, a lot of this show is written like fetish porn of black people. God help if this was written by a white woman which ironically enough, it really does feel like this was written by a white woman. I’m not even joking, if I didn’t already know who Shonda Rhimes was, I would swear to you this show was written by a white woman who really loves black people, to an uncomfortable degree. I’m not even talking about cringy “black empowerment” either, that’s not what bothers me. It’s one thing to promote strong black (female) characters in a show which you know it’s fine I guess, whatever, but this show fetishizes that instead. Black people aren’t just strong and powerful, they’re the strongest and the most powerful. It’s creepy and weird.

At this point, the only reason I’m watching it is because I like Viola Davis and despite her character being iffy at times, she’s still a tremendous actress. And ofc I like Colliver, even though it’s messy a lot of the time. I know I just sat here and shat on the show a bunch, and to be clear it’s definitely not a show I would ever recommend, but it’s not strictly-speaking terrible. It just has a lot of bad moments/elements to it.

[msfcatlover]

Okay, I did my best to trim the list down (believe it or not, this could go on for several more pages—my “to rec” list is very long.) I’ll go ahead and flag the “core to the fandom experience (at least in the circles I was running in, circa s5)” ones with a ⭐️, while my personal favorite-favorites will get a 💖. (Which is not to say the unmarked ones are bad; please keep in mind this is the absolute tops from an already cultivated list of fics I most feel are worth waving in people’s faces, which is clipped from my own personal saved links of fics I loved. I cannot in good conscience not rec any of the fics on this list.)

WARNING: LONG LIST AND FULL-SERIES SPOILERS AHEAD

💖⭐️ The Reverb in These Holy Halls — Reverb is the quintessential time travel fixit for this fandom. Written before the finale, Jon’s memories (and powers) get sent back to the day Gertrude died. He tries very, very hard to change things for the best, to protect the people he cares about, and to not let his feelings for the Martin of the future affect his feelings for the Martin of the past. How much he succeeds is arguable, but it is a great story about reclaiming power & love against the odds. Also has some of the best characterization & worldbuilding I’ve ever seen, hugely influential on my own interpretation of how the Entities & avatars function.

💖 Beholden — [WIP] Another where Jon’s memories get sent back, this time to halfway through s1. Jon tries to not let on that anything has changed while also trying to push things in a better direction, but that’s rather hard when he just cannot bear to be such a prick to everyone again, and also kinda had to burn a blind spot into both his eyes with a laser pointer in order to protect himself from any omniscient bastards who might try to read his mind. (I cannot rec this highly enough, it’s one of my all-time favorites in this fandom with some of the absolute best characterization out there. This is the fic that single-handedly made Tim probably my favorite character with a single chapter.)

💖 where there’s a will, we make a way — [WIP] Jon only manages to send his memories back as far as his coma. He still does his best to make a better future… seriously not helped by the fact he can seemingly only speak in statement quotes.

step in time — S1!Jon gets lost in the tunnels while running from Prentiss. He stumbles out in the s4 finale, just in time to stop the end of the world, and switches places with s4!Jon in an instant. Martin decides to say, “Fuck the timeline,” and just explain everything that’s happened.

💖⭐️ Turning Back to Different Pasts — Post ep.200, Jon & Martin are physically sent back to the early days of the show. Told from the perspectives of the s1 crew, who are all having varying levels of breakdown over the whole situation.

💖 Deja Vu — The s1 crew all have their memories sent back from the moment they died. Due to vastly different levels of information, different priorities, and different assumptions about the situation, they all assume they’re alone in this experience. (This author is one of my faves, and you should absolutely check out their other stuff when you finish this one!)

Awake & Unafraid — [Login Restricted] There is no Head Archivist when Tim, Sasha, & Martin join the archives. There is a spooky voice who records the real statements over them with his own endnote commentary. Everyone has their own takes on this haunting situation, but really, Jon just wants to keep his assistants safe.

💖 The Lives We’ve Shared — Jon finds Gertrude’s secret tapes while recording the very first statement. Elias kills him for it. Jon refuses to die, and proceeds to haunt the archives through sheer force of denial. It takes months for anyone to notice.

⭐️ Something Impossible — Jon & Georgie never have their falling out, so she’s there to tell him how fucking creepy & ominous Elias is being about the promotion. Turns into a rapidly spiraling comedy as they somehow befriend half the avatars in London, and Elias keeps trying to make Jon the Archivist by any means necessary.

⭐️ Fate, or Something — AU where Jon & Georgie never had their falling out, and Martin works for Melanie’s YouTube show. The girls try to set them up together, but it’s not until things start getting Seriously Spooky that they manage to start getting along.

Crimson Honey — I’m a sucker for a decent hanahaki fic with a happy ending, what can I say? Especially if it actually saves a few lives along the way.

💖 Clutching Daffodils — More hanahaki. This time, it’s chronic, and Jon finds out Martin has it in the s1 finale. As a result, Martin’s the only one he feels safe around in s2, because Jon knows full well that Martin wouldn’t hurt him (even if Jon still can’t quite bring himself to trust Martin.)

💖 Full, Riotous Bloom — Martin contracts Hanahaki in s2 from a Leitner. This does not fix much of anything, but does force everyone to be a lot more honest with eachother (and themselves.) . (I want to give this one a ⭐️ so bad, but unlike many other fics on this list, I never saw anyone else talking about it here on tumblr. It was essential to my fandom experience, though.)

💖⭐️ A Home For What Loves You — Jon also goes to do some unauthorized follow-up on the Vittery statement, and so he & Martin end up trapped by Prentiss together. The forced intimacy creates a rapidly amplifying cascade of butterfly effects which ends up changing everything.

💖 paved with good intentions — Martin becomes the Archivist, and tries his best to help everyone he comes across. Unfortunately, this only accelerates his Becoming. (Stand-alone, but intended to have sequels which sadly never materialized. So it’s very open-ended & bittersweet, but still a wonderful read.)

if not for hope, the heart would break — [WIP] An AU by the Jon/Gerry author I mentioned before where Jon became Gertrude’s assistant right before she died, and so knows too much to risk giving the Archivist position. Martin gets pressured into the job instead. (Like I said, I’m not a fan of Jon/Gerry, but I do have a lot of respect for this author so if you like that ship then you should probably give their other fics a read.)

💖 all of us were there — A text-fic (which I normally hate, so you know it’s good) where Jon makes the mistake of going out for drinks with his assistants in s1. The additional closeness turns into a delightful found family arc, while the spookiness ramps up intensity with some of the most creative manifestations I’ve ever seen and excellent use of the medium to convey the dread.

The Magnus Institute vs the 21st century — Crack taken seriously, emails between the other departments of the Institute. What do the HR e-mails over there look like?

💖 Missed Messages — The magic of cloud data means that Martin actually gets to see Premtiss’s text messages once he gets a new phone. (CirrusGrey is back, and while this whole series is delightful, this first one is my favorite!)

Taking a Shot — Martin takes the opportunity, hiding in document storage & waiting to die, to confess his feelings. Jon, reacting totally on instinct, kisses him. This becomes slightly complicated when they then, y’know, don’t die. (Oh look, CirrusGrey again.)

roses, roses, roses — For the record, Martin fucking hates his new boss. Hates him. He’s too polite to say so to Jon’s face (which in Martin’s opinion is Jon’s only redeeming feature) but Martin just cannot stand the bastard. All of which Martin does have to reconsider after the Prentiss incident, when Jon seems to be genuinely attempting to be nice.

💖 A Bit of Hazing — A missing scene from Dreamer, where Jon goes to Tim for help because he trusts Tim more than anyone else down here. (For the record, this author is also amazing and basically any of their stuff is worth taking for a spin.)

💖 See Me Drown — This author has a whole bunch of fics about Jon having chronic health problems where he struggles in his early days as Head Archivist, but Tim & Sasha are too busy being salty about the promotion to notice until things go too far. I like almost all of them (it’s about the reunion & recovery) but this is my favorite.

Relation — Pre-series fluff where Jon sets off all Tim’s big brother instinct, and Tim is determined to become his best friend.

The Breaking Down of Walls — Tim is very, very good at figuring out people’s boundaries. That’s why he teases Jon so much, and why he stops after Jon becomes Head Archivist. He’s still going to look after the idiot, though. (Voiceless_terror is back with the Jon & Tim dynamic I endlessly crave.)

a deeply annoying child — Jon reads a Leitner that turns you back into the version of yourself who first encountered the supernatural. The s3 crew then needs to grapple with having a small child and no Archivist for a while. (Canon-compliant, but anything where Jon brings out Tim’s big brother instincts wins a thousand extra kudos from me.)

scenes and things — Melanie finds Nikola’s “ransom” message. The entire s3 crew is horrified, and immediately launch a rescue mission.

💖⭐️ The Kindness of Strangers — Another serious contender for my favorite TMA fic of all time. Set in s3, Martin finally convinced Tim & Jon to talk about their issues. Unfortunately, Breekon & Hope interrupt them while looking to kidnap the Archivist; not knowing which of them it is, they just take them both. Trauma-bonding ensues, especially when the situation basically forces both of them to revisit their original supernatural traumas and finally get to make the choices they wish they had the first time around. (Mind the warnings. No, seriously, mind the warnings. This one is pretty intense as it points out Nikola wasn’t exactly going to stop her beauty routine at Jon’s face, now was she? And then it describes that.)

a melody played in a penny arcade — Everything takes a hard left turn in mid-s3, when suddenly no one in the archives crew can leave the building.

💖 Open windows — Jon reaches out to Martin in s2, just once. Martin is a lot more forgiving of Jon’s transgressions because, well, the paranoia & isolation? Martin’s been there already. Very recently, too. (Canon-compliant.)

💖 Inseparable (and it’s sequel) — Left very open-ended, but a pre-series glimpse of an AU where Jon & Martin were childhood friends who fell out of touch after Mr. Spider. (Voiceless_terror at it again with their amazing writing!)

The Sky Turns Green — Jon & Martin spent the night together before the Unknowing. Heartbreakingly canon-compliant.

It’s actually a pretty popular headcanon that Jon & Martin confessed their feelings right before the s3 finale. Have one or two more. (All canon-compliant.)

Oh, have some where Tim survives the Unknowing as well.

because light reverses, because the dead return — After the Unknowing, nobody’s paying attention. Jon ends up buried alive.

⭐️ “the Polish fic” — Jon wakes up immediately after the Unknowing, able to understand all spoken language. He finds out about this when Martin starts proclaiming his affection exclusively in Polish (a language Martin knows for a fact Jon cannot speak.)

💖⭐️ Tangled Up In What I’ve Seen — Jon comes back, and Martin can see the strings the Web has wrapped Jon all up in. Martin sets off to personally squish every spider in the Institute.

Quis Terreat Ipsa Terrores? — Georgie yells, scolds, bargains, and assaults various manifestations throughout London to earn her friends a vacation. That’s it, that’s the fic; it’s borderline crack, but absolutely delightful.

💖 the best policy — Midway through s4, Jon reads a Leitner that forces him to always answer questions with complete truthfulness. It’s a nasty wake up call for everyone around him, getting both the unfiltered truth about how miserable Jon’s been and a taste of what it’s like to be able to compel answers with just a slip of the tongue. Needless to say, nobody is having a good time, but it does get them all on the same page with a healthy does of added empathy & compassion. Also, the ending is super cute.

💖⭐️ Family, Found — [Login Restricted] The s4 crew are only as cold, sharp, & mean as they are inside the archives; Basira realizes they’re all being manipulated, and they all set out to spit in the face of whatever wants them to hurt eachother.

💖⭐️ Resigned, Though Not to Fate — Jon asks Martin to gouge their eyes out & run away together. In this world, Martin says yes. It’s not nearly as simple as it sounds (lingering enemies, supernatural side-effects, and the simple reality of adjusting to total blindness all threaten to stop them) but they find a way to make it work. (Once again: Hoo boy, heed those warnings! These are some of the most intense, visceral, disgusting eye-gougings I’ve seen in this fandom, and there are a lot of eye-gougings in this fandom. If you can stomach it, though, please do not let that stop you from reading this masterpiece.)

(I have a whole selection of character studies set in the safehouse period between 159 & 160, but couldn’t actually narrow them down enough to feel comfortable adding them. This list is long enough, you don’t need a whole ‘nother page of just “And here’s Jon & Martin being super cute while discussing boundaries or addressing their traumas with eachother! They’re healing! Ignore that finale on the horizon, everyone else is.”)

variations on a death scene — Everyone gets their turn murdering the worst boss to ever walk the Earth.

💖 A Break in the Clouds — Jon sent his mind (and powers) back to the moment he first encountered the supernatural, and tries to change the past. He starts by heading to the Institute to give his statement about Mr. Spider, and encounters a very young Elias Bouchard on his smoke break. (This is another one that was so important to my own experience I want to give it a ⭐️, but it is incredibly niche and I haven’t seen anyone else talk about it. Written before s5 wrapped up, so a very different Elias from the one whose statement we ended up hearing, but still one of my very favorite time travel fics ever. Jon & Elias basically both look at eachother, go “Is anyone going to adopt this idiot?” and then don’t wait for an answer. Also, the author takes a lot of joy in reminding everyone the brain Jon is working with is very much that of a child. Like, this is not a 30-something year old man trapped in a 9yr old body, this is a 9yr old with +30yrs worth of memories, and also monster cravings.) . (I did lose the link for a while—which is actually what made me decide to start saving those—and have only just found it again, so I haven’t had the chance to catch up now that it’s done. However, I did finish the entire first section back in the day, and I love it enough that I’m willing to risk vouching for the rest. It’s good, please read it.)

💖 See the Line where the Sky meets the Sea — Jon was claimed by the Vast long before he met Mr. Spider. The Fairchilds all adore him, Mike Crew becomes his mentor, and he still gets involved with the Institute in the form of fucking with Elias whenever he gets the chance and befriending the Archives crew along the way.

When No One Looks — Jon is secretly a Dark avatar. Not a terribly powerful one, but he still does his very best to keep Martin safe after Prentiss.

love on a smaller stage — In an Archivist!Sasha universe, Martin’s not the only one who can see through NotJon’s disguise… but he can tell something’s very, very wrong when so many of his most precious memories of Jon run counter to what NotJon’s personality seems to be. (They do get Jon back, and it turns into an unsettling study of trying to return to a life someone has systematically stripped to nothing.)

💖 Hovering Slowly — Look, it probably won’t make you feel any better, but I am eternally salty I can’t find any long form Archivist!Tim fics that actually take the concept seriously. And this is such a good set-up for one, I love it to pieces.

💖 Don’t Let’s Start (This Is The Worst Part) — [Login Restricted] [WIP] I am eternally heartbroken this fic seems abandoned. Tim goes from his death to the morning of the s1 finale. He prepares himself to do whatever it takes to save Sasha this time around… only to find out he’s trapped in a timeloop.

⭐️ The Eyespot Chronicles — After the end of the world ends, everything is different but the survivors are still here. Jon & Martin open up a cute little bookshop and try to figure out how to make their relationship work after Jon’s been transformed into a literal moth. (That sounds like crack, but this fic plays it 100% straight and actually brought me to the brink of tears a few times.)

💖⭐️ A Matter of Diplomacy — The fantasy AU where Jon is a powerful Witch King and Martin’s just a low-level diplomat from the neighboring kingdom who manages to surprise him, insult him, frustrate him, and humble him in that order, all in one evening. All of which earns Martin a standing invitation to come visit whenever he likes. An invite Martin would have liked to ignore forever but there’s a war on the horizon, his country needs all the allies they can get, and Jon is both famously private and a still neutral neighbor, so... who else could they even send? (Get your fantasy politics here! Funnily enough, while both the main characters have zero interest in playing the political game, this fic has some of the coolest, most in-depth politics I’ve seen in a long time. It is a world-swap style crossover, so I might not be able to credit all of that to this writer, but it’s really interesting to look at that delicate political dance from the perspective of one (1) person who’s terrible at it, watching one (1) person who’s very good at it but hates every second of it.)

💖 a tale as old — The fairytale AU where Jon is monster who lives deep in the woods, said to have the answer to any question for a terrible price. Martin goes to him first to cure his mother’s ailments, but for all Jon’s gruff manner & demands for Martin’s deepest heartaches, there is a kindness to him and he clearly takes no pleasure in the pain he witnesses. When Martin’s mother is healed, Martin returns again simply to spend time with Jon.

weave the dull world around us — The fairytale AU where Martin’s a stitch-witch and Jon’s a fae in the woods behind his house. Elias rips off one of Jon’s wings, so Martin goes on a quest to make him a new one.

💖⭐️ dustsceawung — The urban fantasy AU where the fae live right alongside modern humanity. Martin moves into a fixer-upper far from his home, and quickly becomes enamored with two local mysteries: the guy who walks past his house every few days with an armload of books (despite nobody officially living up the road from Martin,) and the very large moth that came crashing through his open window during a storm and keeps coming back after Martin patches it up and lets it go.

💖 even in another time — The urban fantasy AU where Martin moves into a house haunted by the ghost of one Gertrude Robinson, an old witch whose magic library has seemingly gained sentience and is not happy. Martin’s landlord points him towards the town’s resident medium… with a warning that the medium isn’t exactly pleasant company.

let the bitterest god drink ambrosia — [WIP] The AU where instead of supernatural powers, it’s just good ol’ fashioned unethical experimentation. Anyway, Jon is mothman in this one.

uhhh hello tma fandom (first time ever interacting with the fandom I am Afraid be nice to me pls)

I have not yet finished the series but I did accidentally spoil myself on a few things and uh. uh. I just want to ask. does anyone have any fanfics I can read after finishing it that will make me feel better because I can already tell its going to destroy me 💀 like….. idk. I love hurt/comfort fix it stuff…. something like that has got to exist right…….. if anyone seeing this knows a good one that would fit that category pls lmk LOL sorry I am. man. why do I always get into shit that is bad for my mental health like without fail. why

[starlessea]

The Walking Dead - Daryl Dixon

Hello, my amazing readers! 

First, I want to thank you so much for all of your support. Your comments and feedback really mean the world to me. I’ve made so many friends on this platform, and I utterly adore getting to talk with you all.

I post less frequently now because I have a job, but I'll always come back x

(you can also find my work on Wattpad and Ao3 under @pandorahurts)

♡ = favourites

Each section is ordered by oldest to newest

Art Masterlist

General TWD Masterlist

[COMPLETE] Here Comes the Sun (S2-S4)  

Daryl Dixon scares the hell out of you climbing out of that damn creek. It takes hauling his ass halfway across Georgia and taking a bullet for him to realise that you're not half bad. He slowly starts to come around, despite grumbling about how much he doesn't like your singing, or that you can't use a gun for shit - and don't get him started on that ugly yellow tent of yours. It takes him a while before he starts to see for himself that he's found a best friend for life, and that he doesn't actually mind the colour yellow that much, after all.

Step on the Gas (Pre-S1 onwards) ♡

A dishonourable discharge from the military results in you being hauled off to live with your grandparents in the boonies, otherwise known as the middle of nowhere Georgia. After running over a nail on the road, and pushing your grandpa's vintage Camaro to the nearest auto-shop, you meet Daryl Dixon - the local mechanic. At some point, the world ends, but that stubborn man never gives you a chance to slow down. His smile gives you whiplash, but he still insists that you to step on the gas.

Hush Hush (S4, 3 Parts)

You’d always been told that eavesdropping was a bad thing. But in this case, it led to you finding one of the only few good things left in the world.

Foxtails and Rabbit Trails (with @whitexwingedxdoves​​) ♡

Daryl Dixon was a good hunter, but there were still some things that he struggled to find. Such as the patience to deal with you.

You wore a rabbit’s foot keyring, but Daryl thought you were the furthest thing from lucky. After all, you ended up stuck with him, too.

Snow Angels (Between S2 - S3)

Daryl Dixon doesn’t like snow, but you somehow convince him to make snow angels with you.

Puppy Love (Loosely S10)

Bathtime leaves you to deal with a wet Dog and wet Daryl.

Sea Witch (S4) 

You sing just like a siren, and it makes Daryl realise why some sailors chose to drown.

Poker Face (S5) 

You let Spencer teach you to shoot despite already knowing how; and it drives Daryl positively mad as a result.

Sketchbook Confessions (S4)  ♡

You flick through Daryl’s sketchbook, only to discover he’d filled the pages up with you.

Eye For Detail [Sequel to Sketchbook Confessions]  

You try to sketch Daryl in return. Except, you draw his smile a little crooked, and the eyes are wonky... And Daryl completely loves it.

Prom Night (Pre-Apocalypse)  

It was the night of your highschool prom. Except, Daryl had been kicked out a few months back and you didn’t have a date, either.

Hayloft (Pre-Apocalypse) ♡

You see a red-brick barn which reminds you of the days you'd spending smoking in a hayloft with Daryl Dixon.

Last Man Standing  (repost) 

Daryl is haunted by memories of you. But they’re the good kind - so he lets them stick around.

Look Straight Ahead ♡

You are the only person Daryl Dixon will ever let cut his hair.

Peek-A-Boo ♡

The story of Aunt and Uncle Dixon told through the eyes of Judith Grimes.

Inkstains

You spend the night trapped in a tattoo shop with Daryl, and he emerges the next morning with some new ink.

Big Brother ♡

The story of how Daryl Dixon won your heart, from the begrudging perspective of his brother, Merle.

Wildest Dreams

Daryl can’t help but toss and turn under the stars one night, remembering someone from his past who he should have long since forgotten.

Sunflower Fields

In an otherwise dying world, you and Daryl stumble across something living and beautiful.

[NEW] Renegade

A brief history of Daryl Dixon’s run-ins with the law (and how you always bailed him out).

[NEW] Crossfire

Rick Grimes recalls the day his brother almost lost you (since Daryl still couldn’t bring himself to).

Two Sugars 

You pester Daryl about what he did before the apocolypse, but are soon reminded that it doesn’t matter.

Dot-to-dot 

You like to trace patterns, and Daryl Dixon is your canvas.

After Hours 

Daryl stuffs you into a broom closet and you start to wonder if you’re reliving your highschool days.

I’m Daryl 

Captured alongside Daryl by The Saviors, you are used to try and coax the man into submission.

I Ain’t Nobody’s Bitch [Sequel to I’m Daryl] 

You and Daryl escape The Santuary; but mentally, you’re still there.

Sunbeam  ♡

Daryl proposes to you. At least, you think he did.

Magnets  

Daryl Dixon had a crush on you. You could tell.

Love Blindness [Spin-off to Magnets] 

You had a crush on Daryl Dixon. Everyone else could tell.

Hourglass 

You aren’t sure whether you’re the same person you were before Woodberry; Daryl tells you that you’re not.

After The Storm 

Sunshine always follows the rain, just like how you’ll always follow Daryl.

I See Red

You’ll threaten anyone who dares mess with your little brother; and Daryl is left to pick up the pieces when you feel guilty for doing so.

Sleepless Nights  ♡

They say that your firstborn opens your eyes to the world; but Daryl looked at her like she was the world. 

Wear My Heart On Your Sleeve

Daryl doesn’t quite fit in at Alexandria yet - but he still tries.

Caught Red Handed

Even during the apocolypse, you and Daryl experience little moments of domesticity.

Heartbreak Hotel

Daryl had already rejected you once - back when he’d been a little more baby-faced, and a lot less patient.

No Vacancy [Sequel to Heartbreak Hotel]

Rejected once, shame on you. Rejected twice, shame on him - and Daryl Dixon was no fool.

Doctor’s Orders 

Daryl isn’t too impressed when he finds you with a sling on your arm and a smile on your face.

Hey, Good Lookin’

You could count the number of showers Daryl had taken in the last few weeks on one hand. But somehow, he still looked just as good.

Crayon Family  ♡

Daryl loses your daughter, but you end up finding more than you’d bargained for.

Check My Jacket

Even as he’s held prisoner at The Sanctuary, Daryl can’t help but let his thoughts drift back to you.

Welcome Home [Sequel to Check My Jacket]

You and Daryl reunite after he escapes from The Sanctuary, and he finally reveals what he’s been hiding in his jacket pocket.

Barricade

Daryl Dixon makes sure that nobody gets left behind - especially not you.

Two Left Feet

You give Daryl Dixon dancing lessons.

Cross My Heart

Daryl begrudgingly allows you to tie his hair up to help him cope with the Georgia heat.

“Don’t Cry”  ♡

Daryl hates seeing your tears. He’d much rather see you smiling, instead.

Can I Hold Your Hand?

Rather than seeking comfort from God, you turn to one of his angels instead - a man named Daryl Dixon.

Touching Foreheads

Pinky Swear

Bandages

Asleep on his Shoulder

Spooning at Night

Showering Together

Keeping Quiet

Touch Starved

Shotgun Wedding

I’ll Wait

Take Mine

Happy Birthday

Can I Kiss You?

Four Doors Down

You’re Important

Permission

[NEW] Are You Cold?

[NEW] Bonfire

[ravenadottir]

OK so this will never happen in a million years (thanks, Fusebox 🤡) but this would be my ultimate dream scenario for LITG S4. MC is not a day 1. They're either the bombshell a la Priya or a later paired entrant like Lucas/Henrik. This last option would give you the ability to have a friend/villa ally right off the bat if you so chose (or burn that bridge immediately, I'm not a cop). This means though that MC sees it ALL go down before arriving in the villa. The drama, the sneaky kisses, the lies, ALL OF IT! And MCs arrival immediately causes drama in the villa/they know which couples are strong and which wouldn't survive so much as MC blowing a little flirty kiss someone's way.

But! Our MC has a problem: they're still affected by a past relationship. Whether they're not over an ex or they're using the villa as their chance to get back out there in a big way after their disaster of a breakup is up to you via dialogue choices. Your dialogue choices will ALSO influence who your ex is (personality, gender, reason you broke up, how they feel about you now etc.) because surprise surprise: they got cast too.

They arrive just as you're hitting your stride in the villa (maybe even as a shock Casa Amor reveal, idk) and now you've got to choose: someone from the villa or your old flame? They could be after winning back your heart or ruining your summer of love.

I know this wouldn't be everyone's cup of tea as far as storylines go but I would absolutely love it and it sucks knowing Fusebox could never handle writing something like this even halfway well in a billion years.

🙃

wishes for season 4

i took so long to answer this one some people already have access to season 4, and i'm sorry for that anon.

i haven't played it, and if nothing change i won't, but it's fun to speculate with you!

mc being a bombshell. we know that's factual, they finally listened to ONE of our suggestions. whether she's affected by a past relationship or not i have no idea, but i would love for someone to confirm this.

the other half of the failed relationship is cast. I WOULD DIE FOR THAT STORYLINE. bitch, i'm dead, buried and my spirit is floating, this would be AMAZING to happen! i'm all for this if we ever get to have it.

having to choose between her past relationship or a new one. YOU NAILED IT, because that would show so many layers to mc's growth as a person. whether she could forgive or surpass what made them break up in the first place, or get over that relationship and move on. this might be the most interesting storyline we could have regarding mc's past, since we never get anything interesting for her.

but yes, you might be right. even if fusebox took their time to do it i don't reckon it would be well executed. but still, one of the best storylines i've ever read for love island the game, hands down!

[komaedaslove]

do it for her, a sasha braus x reader

jenna's fics ¡ in which you keep your pronise

warnings: aot s4 ep 8 spoilers, death, loss, grieving/mourning death, denial (i think), it's overall quite sad

genre: some fluff, mainly just angst. however you want to view it

pairing: sasha braus x reader (platonic, but view it how you wish)

extra notes: there aren't any pronouns i use for the reader, however the reader does share a room with mikasa and sasha, but that's it mmm yes.

i listened to this (and some sad queen and freddie mercury songs) while writing this

it had taken a bit of begging from sasha, but she managed to get you out of bed at 1 in the morning. excitedly telling you about how she had stolen some meat and wanted you to go outside and eat it with her. you'd disagreed at first, your main concern being captain levi finding out, but the brunette was insistent. telling you she'll take all the blame if levi saw you two.

you knew that was absolute bullshit, but you were really hungry. so you agreed, sasha excitedly clapping and dragging the blanket off of you. she'd tried to get mikasa to go with too, but the girl remained stoic faced, shaking her head and going back to sleep.

that's how you ended up here, sitting on the grass with sasha, eating meat. at past one in the morning.

-

"sasha, do you ever think this will end?"

the brunette cocked her head to the side at your words, cheeks puffed up with meat and brows furrowed. “y/n! this isn’t the time to get all sad please, i really just wanna enjoy my meat,” she replied with a whine, mouth still full as she spoke. you sighed, rolling your eyes as you picked up another slice of meat. “can i be serious with you for once sash? and jesus close your mouth when you eat. you look like a fucking titan.” she narrowed her eyes at you , opening her mouth even wider as she chewed.  

“you’re really killing the mood y/n, pretty sure even mikasa wouldn’t have asked me stuff like this,” she said, and with that sasha swallowed down the remainder of food in her mouth and fell down onto her back with a groan. she turned her head to look up at you, a frown on her face as she clutched her stomach. “my stomach hurts y/n, you’ll have to carry me back inside!” 

“that’s what happens when you eat so damn fast and so much at once! you’ll have to crawl your way back. hopefully levi doesn’t wake up and see you crawling across the grass from the window or something.” you joked, giggling at the way her eyes widened at your statement. “he’ll skin me y/n! y/n please!” you ignored her pleas and stood up, dusting off your pants. before you could even start making your way back inside though, you felt sasha’s two arms wrap around your legs, pulling her body upwards and holding tightly onto you. “please y/n! do you want captain levi to skin me alive? do you? he’ll probably find some way to make me titan fodder! is that what you want?” she shook your legs and gripped onto you even tighter as she pleaded.

you weren’t actually gonna leave here there to crawl by herself, you knew this was gonna end up with you piggybacking her back inside, but it was a little funny to see her beg you to not let ‘levi skin her’.

“fine fine, just grab the plate and hop on my back,” in almost an instant, she unwrapped her arms from your legs and scrambled to grab the plate, waiting for you to get into position before she hopped onto your back, wrapping her arms and legs tightly around you.

“thank you y/n!” she adjusted herself better onto your back laying her head down with a content sigh. you started walking, holding tightly onto the brunette, she wasn’t heavy at all. you’d carried and flown around with odm gear so much by now that this was really easy for you. 

most of the rest of the walk back was fairly silent, and halfway there you could hear sasha’s breathing slow. she was already beginning to doze off. you shook her slightly on your back to keep her awake. you didn’t want her to fall asleep and drop the plate, then you’d have a real huge problem and levi would quite literally skin you both alive.

after a bit of walking you had finally made it to your shared room, sasha slipped off your back quietly, and as you closed the door behind you you breathed out a sigh of relief that no one had seen or heard you two. captain levi would’ve made you run laps right then and there if he did.

you set the plate down next to your bed, making a mental note to take it with you in the morning and wash it out before levi could question you. ‘’sasha don’t forget we have to-” you started, but immediately stopped when you saw that the brunette was already sleeping, her legs hanging off of the bed and face planted into the pillow. you giggled, one thing about sasha was she was that just as much as she loved to eat, she loved to sleep. you were sure that if she had the option she would probably sleep the entire day, only waking up to eat something before trotting off to bed again.

with a quick stretch of your arms you walked over to sasha’s bed, taking off her shoes and moving the sleeping girl’s legs onto the bed. she shifted slightly, mumbling something in her sleep as you pulled the blanket at the edge of the bed over her.

you turned around, just about ready to get into bed and sleep away what little time you still had to do so, but a soft tug and your sleeve stopped you.

you turned back around, humming in response. sasha’s eyes were still closed but now there was a lazy grin on her face, she tugged you forward, beckoning you to come closer. amused by the sleepy girls actions you obliged, leaning forward till you were close enough for her to whisper into your ear.

“one day y/n, i wanna have a picnic with you. a real one. outside these walls. with all those nice things we had when we visited historia, remember? promise me we’ll do that. you have to promise,” she sleepily slurred her words, but you could still perfectly understand what she was saying, and with a small giggle and a nod of your head, you smiled. you weren’t sure when this hell was ever gonna end, or if it was at all, but sasha’s words gave you the tiniest bit of hope. a rather small glimmer of light at the end of this tunnel, but it was still there. and for the first time in what felt like a really long time, you felt happy. like there was nothing else that you had to worry about, you could be truly happy with no other worries for just this moment.

you couldn’t actually remember how you had ever lived before all of this. was there a time when you actually didn’t have to worry about titans, or about whether or whether not you and your friends and comrades would live another day? probably, when you were really young maybe, but again you couldn’t remember.

but right now you got that feeling, that carefree happiness, you weren’t entirely sure how just a few words from sasha did, but you were thankful for it. and you knew you just had to keep this promise, as trivial as it was you wanted that picnic outside of these walls with sasha someday. and you were gonna have it.

“i promise,"

-

“sasha i know its not what you wanted. but its the best i could do,”

two plates were layed out on the ground, each filled with as much food as you could get your hands on. it wasn’t all of the nice things you’d had when you visited historia, but it was the best you could do.

it felt like decades ago when you made that promise, and thinking back on it now you realize how childish it was. were you so filled with hope back then that you actually made promises like this and wholeheartedly believed it would come true? you don’t actually remember, but you did wish you could still have that hope now today. you envied your younger self for it, for being able to have that carefree happiness you were absolutely sure you would never have again in whatever little time you still had left in your life. your light was gone now, and how naive you were for ever for a second believing you could hold on to that light forever. just like everything in this world-no, in this hell, it came to an end. and maybe if you accepted that fact a long time ago you wouldn’t be where you were now, doing what you were doing.

finding some way to cling onto that light-to cling onto her.

you’d told everyone else about your promise, it was a little embarressing to say the least, speaking about something so childish with tears running down your cheeks. you’d also told them the full story, including how she had stolen meat and you had snuck outside in the early hours of the morning to eat it-much to levi’s dismay.

but no one questioned you, not even a little bit. infact, conny had done something similar, he had the habit of filling a plate of food for her at dinner or in the mornings, setting the plate next to him. everyone knew not to sit there, not to question it, because on the inside we were all hoping she would come and sit there. wolfing down her food and complaining after about how hungry she was. you didn’t realize you would ever miss that as much as you did right now.

“armin gave me this seashell from outside the walls, i can’t really go outside the walls right now, there’s not really a way to take you with me, so hopefully this makes up for it. we can pretend like we’re sitting on the beach,” you held up the seashell, showing it off before you set it down on the ground near your plates. you were talking really loudly, but you didn’t actually notice, it was like a part of you wanted to make absolutely sure she could hear you.

“let’s eat!” 

you ate in silence, you weren’t hungry, not at all. your appetite was completely gone. she would probably be asking for your food right now, saying she was done with hers and that she was still really hungry. then you would look at her for a long time, staring into her pleading eyes with a stoic expression before you brought the food to your mouth and ate it, trying to maintain your serious expression as she groaned about how mean you were for that.

how you wished she was here.

once you were done eating you pushed your plate to the side, moving her untouched one as well. you sat up onto your knees, crawling over to the headstone and turning around to put your back to it.

“now its like i’m giving you a piggyback ride, right sash?”

silently, tears rolled down your cheeks again, the salty liquid dropping onto the ground and dissapearing into the earth. you tugged your knees up to your chest, hugging them as you buried your head into your knees. you weren’t sure when, but you started sobbing, cries muffled by your legs as you gripped even tighter onto your legs. you just wanted to hold her, you just wanted her here,

your light was gone, whatever hope you still had in you left the second she did.

after a while you lifted your head up, tear stained face facing up towards the sky. you laughed. with whatever energy you had left in you to do so, you laughed and smiled as you looked up at the sky. up into the clouds. up into where sasha was. she would want you to smile, to laugh, you remembered that night again, where she told you not to say such sad things when she was trying to enjoy her meat. she would’ve said the same thing now. so you forced out that laugh, forced out that smile. for sasha.

“i kept my promise sasha,”

hopefully, she heard you.

[lit-in-thy-heart]

For the hug prompt: 15, merwaine!!

@zykamiliah thank you for the prompt!!! i'm sorry it's taken so long and i sort of made it merwaincelot as well...thanks again, i hope you like it!! 💕💕

(for context, this is set between s3 and s4)

Training sessions, Gwaine had long since decided, were worse than patrol. At least with patrol, he could allow his mind to drift. In training sessions, if Gwaine’s mind drifted for a split second then he would be on his back, winded, before a coherent thought even had time to form.

It was hard enough to keep his thoughts from drifting when Lancelot was beside him in training, let alone when Merlin was also in the vicinity.

Particularly when Merlin was intently watching him. Not that Gwaine really minded Merlin being so close to him; Arthur had recently taken to banning Merlin from the training ground since walking past him, pinned against the back of a target by Gwaine, with his neckerchief woven between Gwaine’s fingers and his shirt halfway up his torso, with Lancelot kneeling down to kiss Merlin’s abdomen. It was a natural reaction for Gwaine: training always made him so aware of his own body and his mind automatically jumped to how it slotted against Merlin’s and Lancelot’s, but Arthur didn’t seem to approve of that particular collision – at least not when he’d been ambushed by it five times in the space of three days. So Gwaine was going to prove that he could finish a training session without making Merlin moan and hopefully persuade Arthur to lift the ban on Merlin watching training sessions permanently.

Merlin, when Gwaine snatched a glance that he promised himself would be the last one, was quietly talking with Elyan, who was sitting out after Percival had accidentally dislocated his partner’s shoulder with the ferocity of his hug after Elyan had escaped, unharmed, from bandits. They looked over at Gwaine at irregular intervals with sly smiles and, judging by the speed at which Elyan’s mouth was moving, Merlin was receiving a summary of all the various references to him Gwaine made when he wasn’t around. Before he turned back around, Gwaine caught Elyan’s eye and scowled lightly at him. Merlin knew that Gwaine had a soft spot for him and Lancelot – which was to be expected when they were in a relationship – but Gwaine was reluctant to expose just to what extent he truly cared for the two of them. Lancelot, of course, knew about how much he cared for Merlin, the two of them having discussed their love for him numerous times on patrol, but Gwaine was always careful not to talk too incessantly about Lancelot when he was within earshot, just in case it became overbearing. Because if Lancelot and Merlin knew that they was the force that pushed each breath out of Gwaine’s body each day, if they knew that every slight touch from their fingertips managed to make the nerves in Gwaine’s skin scream in exhilaration, if they knew that Gwaine would slice his soul into ribbons to bind any wounds Merlin or Lancelot bore, then they would both leave him. The only person Gwaine had ever unloaded his soul to had been his sister, and that bond hadn’t left her any more unwilling to sell him off.

At a call of his name, Gwaine returned to the session and caught Lancelot channelling silent concern in his direction. He shot him a reassuring grin and angled his face towards Leon to demonstrate that he was actually paying attention to what he was saying about the importance of catching the enemy unawares. As much as Gwaine understood that they all needed to be trained to a certain standard, he also had had much practice at catching people unawares throughout his life so far. He himself had been caught unawares, namely by Merlin and Lancelot but in entirely different circumstances, but he could reel off at least nine different methods of a surprise attack off the top of his head, and probably seven more if he had a moment to think about it. Gwaine still had a long way to go, but he wasn’t terrible at the skills a knight required. None of them were, really. Percival had his stupendous strength, Elyan and Lancelot were both light on their feet – though Elyan was comfortable with more weapons than Lancelot was – and Leon, of course, had been a fully-fledged knight for almost two years. And Arthur, of course, was Arthur. They all had their individual strengths, but when they came together they were unstoppable and Gwaine, for the first time in his life, felt like he was part of a singular organism that operated as one. As if he finally had found his settled place in the world.

In his younger years, he had been at the centre of a group, but never part of it. He had been a tool for the bandits he lived with, a means to their ends, a weapon that they could wield whenever they required it. Then, of course, any kinship he might have had with them had been severed when he’d murdered a third of them on his first active mission as an adult. Merlin had been the first person since then whom he had felt a connection with, and Merlin had led him to Lancelot, and then of course the Round Table. There were still moments when he thought Leon could do with being dragged down a peg or two, and moments when Lancelot was far too noble and self-sacrificing to the point where Gwaine had to poke him in the back to check if he still had a spine to stand up for himself (he always made sure to kiss the place he’d touched afterwards just to reassert his love for him), or when Elyan and Percival were too hesitant to attack, or when Arthur was perhaps a bit too harsh on Merlin (Lancelot had held him back from threatening the regent with a knife many times over past treatments that Merlin had flippantly mentioned) but, for the most part, he loved them all. Not that he’d ever dare tell most of them that.

He’d told Merlin that, many times over, in the held breath of the night, in various ways. After that melee, where Gwaine had killed two men and saved Arthur’s life again, when Merlin had been patching Gwaine up as they had waited for Uther’s final judgement, Gwaine had plucked up the courage to tell the servant that he loved him. Not with those exact words, of course, he’d simply said that he had been glad Merlin was safe, but the look in Merlin’s eyes had given him hope. Gwaine had taken that hope and used it as armour against the physical blows that had been dealt between being banished from Camelot and next seeing Merlin. Protecting himself against mental blows had proved to be a bit more of a challenge. And he’d told Lancelot he loved him, many times over too, in the shadows cast by a stirring dawn when Merlin had slipped away in the darkness so as not to get persuaded to stay for a little longer. He’d told Lancelot, one morning, that the Knight’s Code could go to hell and he would live his life by the code that Lancelot and Merlin had written with their fingers across the scroll of Gwaine’s skin. Lancelot had written that down, sliding from Gwaine’s arms, and had said that he should try his hand at poetry, to which Gwaine had murmured something about leaving that to the professionals and enticed the other knight back into his arms.

Shaking himself from his thoughts, Gwaine tuned in again just in time to be knocked to the floor as his legs were taken out from beneath him with a very large stick. Groaning, Gwaine squinted up into the sun and tried to make out the silhouette looming over him. ‘Thanks, Lancelot.’

With a soft smirk, Lancelot offered his hand to help pull him up. ‘You shouldn’t have been distracted.’

‘I wasn’t distracted,’ Gwaine grunted, swinging to his feet.

‘What was the last thing Leon said?’

Gwaine’s gaze slid towards the place where Merlin was stood. ‘That everyone take a moment to admire Merlin.’

Shaking his head, Lancelot grinned. ‘I agree that everyone should take a moment to admire Merlin, but Leon didn’t say that. He said to partner up.’

‘I mean...that makes more sense,’ conceded Gwaine, dusting himself off. ‘So we’re just trying to get people on the ground?’

Nodding, Lancelot spun the lance – Gwaine made a mental note to make a joke about that over dinner – in his hands. ‘Preferably with receiving as few blows as possible in the process.’

‘Alright. In that case—’

Gwaine tied back his hair with the string around his wrist and set his jaw, watching Lancelot intensely. They stood for several moments, neither of them daring to make a move first, and held each other’s gaze, silent aside from laboured breaths. Then, Gwaine launched forwards before making a sharp turn and sprinting towards Elyan and Merlin, who had been quietly talking and not paying much attention to the knights on the training field.

Merlin barely had time to cry out before Gwaine’s arms had hooked themselves around his torso and securely trapped him against the ground. Straining his head, he struggled to meet the knight’s eyes and heard Gwaine’s victorious shout towards Lancelot without seeing the expression on his face. He had been having a very engaging discussion with Elyan about healing spells when Gwaine had rudely interrupted, and he had now completely lost his train of thought. He had a habit of losing his train of thought when he was around Gwaine and Lancelot, or thinking about Gwaine and Lancelot, and it had a habit of driving Arthur slightly insane. Especially when he was asking Merlin about his thoughts on which route they should take and Merlin absent-mindedly suggested taking the route along the prominent vein on Gwaine’s forearm in front of the council. Still, it had been a month since he had last done that and Merlin had been doing remarkably well at not getting distracted by either of his knights during this particular training session.

As Gwaine turned around, Merlin saw his grin melt into the smile that was reserved for him and Lancelot alone and the knight shifted so he was sat on top of Merlin, his hands skimming the latter’s shoulders. ‘Did I catch you by surprise?’

‘You did indeed,’ Merlin said, eyes flickering across Gwaine’s body. ‘Was there any particular purpose?’

‘That was the purpose. We had to practise taking the enemy by surprise,’ Gwaine stated, his hand now pushing a path through Merlin’s hair.

Sitting up, Merlin rested his arms on Gwaine’s shoulders. ‘So I’m the enemy?’

‘No, you’re taking the place of the enemy,’ corrected Gwaine, settling his hands on Merlin’s waist.

‘And why hasn’t Lancelot taken the place of the enemy?’

‘Because Lancelot is a much better fighter than you are and would be prepared for a surprise attack.’

‘Which is exactly the point of the exercise,’ Lancelot warmly interrupted, wandering over with the lance resting across his shoulders. He said nothing for several moments more, staring at both of them sat there on the grass, using all the strength he had in him not to join their loose hug. ‘Come on,’ he murmured, instead choosing to kick Gwaine’s ankle gently with his eyes still fixed on Merlin, ‘what did we make a deal about this morning?’

Sighing, Gwaine extracted himself from Merlin. ‘I know, I know. If we go the whole session without making out with Merlin, then we can spend the whole night making up for it, I know.’

‘I am still in earshot,’ Elyan stated, looking between the three of them. ‘You know that, right?’

As Merlin mouthed an apology in Elyan’s direction, Lancelot turned around to glance towards Arthur. He was distracted by a staring contest with Percival, it seemed, and Lancelot took the opportunity to quickly dart over to Merlin and press a kiss to the skin that was illuminated by the sun as it tentatively peered out through the clouds. At Gwaine’s scandalised look, Lancelot shrugged. ‘It wasn’t making out and I never said you couldn’t do the same. Especially since Arthur is not paying attention.’

Grin transforming his face, Gwaine kissed the same spot and allowed his fingers to linger on Merlin’s throat for a suspended second before drawing away and catching Lancelot’s hand as they discreetly returned to their training spot, sharing a brief kiss. As Gwaine’s tongue made its way into Lancelot’s mouth, Lancelot dropped the weapon and moved instinctively closer to Gwaine’s body.

Gwaine took the opportunity to let his hands sneak down to Lancelot’s waist and promptly threw the other knight over his shoulder and onto the ground with a wicked grin. ‘Gotcha.’

Across the field, Merlin was laughing.

[andmaybegayer]

Last Monday of the Week: 2021-03-01

First Monday of the Month. My boss just quit at work which means I'm now the only formally trained engineer left who has any particular specialization in embedded systems. This week is going to be a doozy.

I also wrote a Very Long set of media updates because I’ve been consuming some stuff that makes me think a lot. Never a good sign.

Listening: I spent all of Saturday playing Minecraft after talking with some friends about it during the week on IRC. Practicing what I preach with regards to my Large Biome Supermacy policy, which does involve a lot of walking. Hence, I started catching up on The Adventure Zone: Graduation again, I'm like ten episodes behind.

https://maximumfun.org/episodes/adventure-zone/the-adventure-zone-graduation-ep-32-by-a-haircut/

I don't really enjoy Travis' DM'ing style. It's very loose and he has a tendency to let players run wild without much structure which is a tricky thing to handle. He does a lot of worldbuilding and character design but doesn't seem to plan much in the way of arcs. That pays off sometimes (returning to the school to realize they broke a promise they made a few sessions earlier and had to deal with consequences, for example) and when it does, it’s really good, but it's finnicky. I know DM's who can do that, but, well, actually I know One Single DM who can do that well and she's absurdly smart.

Reading: Still on Worm, I just got past chapter 8 or so now. It lives in my phone browser so I've mostly been reading it whenever I get some spare time, which is a good sign. If a book doesn't grab me I need to really settle down in a quiet space to avoid getting distracted, but I can read Worm while someone else is on the phone in the same room.

It is a story with a lot of very well-conveyed feelings and events. It's very easy to imagine yourself in it. Characters actually act like they care about what they're doing, I feel like writing this took a lot of care to keep everyone on model.

There's also a certain care given to the superpowers that you'd usually only see in forum posts arguing about an actual superhero story. Everyone always likes to argue about how far you can push a superpower: can you use teleporting to fly? What prevents a speedster from catching fire in the air? Where does the energy for a  pyrokinetic ability come from? Worm takes these and runs with them as a way to make absolutely any fight become a series of gambits relying on whether a power can or cannot be used to perform some high-stakes trick.

The world certainly has some underpinning contrivances to explain why no one gets killed very often but I've always considered nitpicking the base contrivances of a setting silly, because that's precisely what they are: contrived, in order to allow the rest of the story to flow from there. Like arguing about Omega’s abilities in the famous thought experi-*I am dragged off stage by the ratblr police for making a by now extremely stale joke*

Watching: I came and edited this section in like an hour before this posts because I keep on forgetting to put it in. I don’t really like watching TV and with my parents stuck at home in Pandemic Times it’s how they pass the time.

I did finish S3 of the Good Place. It’s very funny. I’m glad I’m watching it and I’m going to have to go find S4 because ZA Netflix doesn’t have it for whatever reason. It feels a little like it was written by Phillip Pullman if Phillip Pullman was a comedy TV writer.

I also really enjoyed the PBS Spacetime video about how time causes gravity. Love when an explanation of concepts is good enough that you drawn the conclusion on your own.

Playing: Visual Novel Hell plus Minecraft.

I spent approximately seven hours in Minecraft over two days. I tend to hop in and out of games for 1-2 hours at a time but there's a handful that can suck me in for an entire day. Minecraft, Warframe, Horizon Zero Dawn, Night in the Woods. Bastion, to a lesser extent. I end up avoiding them because I don't like loosing entire days, but I wasn't really planning on doing anything this weekend anyways.

Minecraft was mostly a long-ass trek to find a saddle, because as previously mentioned, I enjoy playing it with Large Biomes for the sense of scale.

I also completed Act 3 of Psycholonials and Eliza.

Psycholonials is odd. It is doing the thing that Hussie does where it dances around what's ostensibly the story to carry out the actual story. You get used to the trope after your first encounter but it still makes you wonder when the other shoe will drop, and of course, there's no reason it ever has to. The story may remain in suspended animation behind the every growing mess of narrative red tape tying the B-plot together.

Stories about Social Media have no well established norms. I think I might pick up Feed by M. T. Anderson and also perhaps Hank Green's books sometime. See what context they set that in.

Eliza is frustrating to me. It's a game for programmers, by programmers, about programmers. I'm friends with a lot of Capital P Programmers, the types who go to university and get sniped for developer positions at Seattle or Silicon Valley tech companies and who make great and terrible things and then warn you about the deep problems that underpin the slowly rolling ball of venture capital and bloated technology that is the tech industry. But at the same time, it makes me feel like I've burnt out on that conceptually before I even went in. It’s a whole other world that I’m familiar with but very distant from. In fact, that’s kinda how I feel about Psycholonials too. I’m familiar with the social media rat race but I also don’t go there. Parallels!

My cousins (who are halfway to Capital P Programmers, only so much you can do halfway around the world from silicon valley) warned me not to go into CS, because it would bore me, and that's a non-trivial part of why I'm in Engineering. They gave the same advice about Biology and Physics, without that I may have ended up in Microbiology. it’s not my domain, but because of how Engineering is going, you end up a lot closer to programmers than you think. I found out the other day that most of the software developers on my team have no formal tertiary qualifications, which is accepted in CS but of course, right out when it comes to engineering. It’s a whole other world that I kinda expected to skip around. I might go into this another time, since this post is already getting long.

Making: I haven’t done any engineering scicomm posts on here in a while so I started a few blank drafts and finally got one off the ground. With some luck I’ll have that ready this week. What’s it about? Not saying! It might change!

I’ve been doing layout for a custom keyboard, I need to call a laser cutting place and find out what their kerf requirements are so I can adjust the path accordingly. Wouldn’t do to burn a couple hundred rand on an oversized part, I’m paying for this, not my employer like the other times I’ve done laser cutting, so I’m probably not going to spring for getting one of their designers to check my design. At some point I should CAD up a chassis, but at the same time I might just buy some wood and go ham with a router once I get the plates cut.

Computers Slot: I got WeeChat set up properly on my desktop, which technically was just a matter of getting my SSH keys moved over. It’s taking me forever to move in to Cinnabar, in part because Stibnite lost her boot partition and I haven’t bothered to fix it.

So here’s a pitch for WeeChat as a good quality Terminal UI IRC Client. Many of my closest friends live there and it has a good set of tools to help me keep in touch.

WeeChat is very configurable but with perfectly sane defaults, I didn’t configure it for years. The UI is smarter and less arcane than something like irssi, and if you enable mouse support it can be downright modern. Running it remotely like this limits some features but as long as you don’t mind jumping through a few hoops to do filesharing, IRC is really great like this.

One of the big ones is the ability to do that double-pane thing, I can keep an eye on two channels at once (really as many as I can cram on my screen, but usually two) which is great when you want to browse channels while talking in your home channel.

It also has a good array of remote access tools, from what I’m running up there, just weechat running on my server inside tmux connected over mosh for low-latency SSH, to weechat-relay, a relay protocol built in to weechat. At the moment relay only supports android phones and the glowingbear web client, but I’ve never really looked around since both of those cover all my needs. Easily one of the best ways to get IRC on a modern mobile device, barring maybe IRCCloud.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

hello ☺️ would u happen to have any cute proposal fics? like it can be nsfw or not! possibly sherlock proposing to john or anything like that :) thanks 🖤

Hi Nonny!!

AHHH okay so my last proposals fic rec list is REALLY old and in my old format that is gross and ugly and hard to read, so you know what? I’m starting over, and getting a nice fresh coat of paint on these gross cute fics! <3 Hope you enjoy! <3 Promises of Forever and “fake” proposals are included on this one too! <3 I’ve probably missed a few, so check out the See Also lists just to make sure LOL <3

PROPOSALS (May 2020)

See also:

Marriage and Weddings (April 2019)

Proposals

Weddings / Proposals / Husbands and Established Relationship

Established Relationship Pt 2 (June 2019) 

Sherlock and John’s Wedding

New World, Old Words by thedeafwriter (G, 641 w., 1 Ch. || Deaf Sherlock, Sherlock Whump, Pining Sherlock, Marriage Proposal, Fluff, Always John) – It was disconcerting to experience. One second, he was laying on the table, breathing in the gas that would make him sleep, the next, he was dragging his eyes open to look around the bright room, trying to wake up.

This Isn't About the Bathtub by cypress_tree (G, 1,142 w., 1 Ch. || Marriage Proposal) – John and Sherlock go to Angelo's for dinner. In both of their pockets are rings they are going to propose with, but the other has no idea. John proposes first, and Sherlock answers by pulling out his engagement ring.

Our Bodies Bend Light by lovetincture (G, 1,211 w., 1 Ch. || Established Relationship, Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Beekeeping, Retirement) – They got married. Of course they got married. Snapshots in a relationship. There's a jar of bees in the bookstore and a cottage in Sussex. Sherlock's not the marrying kind, and John's tried this once before, but they're Sherlock and John. Of course.

A Metaphorical Gesture by cyparissus (T, 1,578 w., 1 Ch. || Marriage Proposal, Fluff) – "Sherlock, are you--" the words die in John's throat and he has to swallow and start again, "Are you asking me to marry you?"

and yes I said yes I will Yes by Mithen (T, 1,662 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff, Humour, Est. Rel. Marriage Proposal) – Sherlock has deduced that John is going to propose to him, and he's ready to accept. If only John would actually get around to it...

The Marriage Proposal Negotiation by Goddess_of_the_Night (G, 2,161 w., 1 Ch. || Dev. Rel., Possessive Sherlock, Insecure Sherlock, Fluff, First Kiss, Post Mary) – Sherlock hasn't ever really done anything the traditional way, so of course it wouldn't bother him to propose to John even though they're not even dating. And the fact that John is already on a date with someone else when he decides to do it? Tedious.

You Know, The Old Saying by songlin (T, 2,248 w., 1 Ch. || Wedding, Marriage Proposal, Fluff, Engagement) – "Marry me. I need to have you forever." Unrepentant husbands!Johnlock fluff.

Extraordinary by genesius (G, 2,860 w., 1 Ch. || Marriage Proposal, Sherlock Plays the Violin, Established Relationship, Morse Code, Fluff, One Shot) – Sherlock's deduced that John's going to Italy to buy him a violin. Even the greatest detective alive makes a few mistakes.

The General Idea by agirlsname (T, 3,022 w., 1 Ch. || Retirement, Promise of Forever / Proposal, POV John, First Kiss, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Soft Sherlock, Idiots in Love, Crying / Emotional Sherlock, Love Confessions) – After twenty years of friendship, John is used to Sherlock acting weirdly. But the news Sherlock finally brings himself to deliver change the carefully built dynamics between them, and John realises it's time to act.

Engaged by lifeonmars (NR, 3,146 w., 1 Ch. || Marriage Proposal, Fluff, Holmes Family, Song Fic) – Sherlock did not believe in marriage, but he wanted to be married. He found this something of a surprise. Part 2 of Damage

And as the seasons change, I love you more by Teatrolley (NR, 3,219 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff and Angst, Est. Rel., Marriage / Proposal) – A year in the lives of John and Sherlock, essentially.

Bagged & Tagged by Regency (T, 3,339 w., 1 Ch. || Drunken Confessions, Fluff and Crack, Marriage Proposal) – A very inebriated John devises a clever means of proposing marriage to Sherlock. Unfortunately he's forgotten all about it by the next morning.

Rumpled by WhimsicalEthnographies (E, 3,601 w., 1 Ch. || Est. Rel., Insecure Sherlock, Fluff, PWP, Proposal, Bottomlock) – Then, halfway through a documentary on river otters that neither of them was paying attention to--how could John, with a gangly, limp consulting detective practically purring in his lap?--Sherlock suddenly bolted upright, looked at John with a perplexed expression and a crinkle above his nose, and blurted, “Marry me.” Part 4 of Longitudinal Cohort

Bolt Holes by PostcardsfromTheoryland (T, 4,177 w., 1 Ch. || H/C, Angst, Drug Mentions, Pining Sherlock) – John asked, one evening, if Sherlock liked her. To which he grudgingly had to say yes, and John said he was glad. Because John was going to propose to her.

Unforgiven by 221b_hound (M, 4,721 w., 1 Ch. || Marriage Proposal, Victor Trevor, Jealous / Protective John, Jealous Sherlock, Sherlock’s Past) – Sherlock’s latest case is for his ex boyfriend, the brilliant and handsome Professor Victor Trevor. John is not too happy about that. But things aren’t what they seem, an old friend of John’s is involved in the case, and John has a few surprises up his sleeve. Also - a proposal! Part 16 of Unkissed

Applied Linguistics by what_alchemy (M, 4,837 w., 1 Ch. || Possessive / Anxious Sherlock, Introspection, Bed Sharing, Past John Whump, Est. Rel., Marriage Proposal, Sherlock Loves John So Much, Word Play) – “He wants to shake John by the shoulders, wants to open his mouth and swallow John whole. Wants to marry him.” Sherlock searches for the right words.

What Happens in Vegas (is legally binding in the United Kingdom) by  moonblossom (E, 5,051 w., 1 Ch. || Accidental Marriage, Friends to Husbands to Lovers, CSI Crossover, Fluff & Porn, Bathtub Sex, Hand Jobs, First Time) – When a case sends the boys to Vegas, John comes out of it with a bit more than he bargained for. Part 19 of Prompt Fills, Remixes, Works inspired by others

My First, My Only, and My Forever by vintagelilacs (E, 6,220 w., 1 Ch. || Post-ASiB, Virgin Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Sherlock’s Bum, John’s Scar, Sherlock POV, Body Worship, Fingering, Bottomlock, Promise of Forever / Proposals, Misunderstanding, First Kiss/Time, Loss of Virginity, Virginity Kink, Seduction) – Sherlock narrowed his eyes. He was missing a vital piece of data, he was sure. John had been looking at him oddly ever since they left Buckingham Palace, and the ensuing incident with Irene Adler had only exacerbated his erratic behaviour. What was it? Why would he care that Sherlock was a virgin? There was nothing reminiscent of mockery or pity in his gaze. And then it hit him. John Watson was aroused.

A Silver Sixpence by _doodle (NC-17, 16,400 w., 2 Ch. || LJ Fic || For a Case / Case Fic, Fake Relationship, Humour, Romance, Marriage Proposal, Awkward Idiots, Cuddling, Touching, Kissing, Love Confessions, Bed Sharing, Friends to Lovers, Fake Until It’s Not, Schmoop and Fluff, Bottomlock) – “John, we need to get married. It’s for a case, not any romantic notions on my part pertaining to our partnership,” Sherlock said, with brutal honesty, and without even looking up.

Never-Ending Cycle by orphan_account (T, 17,211 w., 1 Ch. || Christmas, Est. Rel., Proposal, Fluff) – Or, four times Sherlock Holmes attempted to propose to John Watson, and the Christmas Party at which he finally did. Sherlock thinks he's a miserable failure, John is confused, Mrs. Hudson and Lestrade provide some unsatisfactory advice, and Mummy is, as always, the solution. All in a lovely, fluffy holiday theme.

About Sleep and Coffee and the Existence of Fate by Atiki (E, 17,426 w., 6 Ch. || Fluff, Marriage Proposal, Humour, 5+1) – Naturally, John was startled when suddenly the ultimate solution occurred to him: Marriage. This was, of course, a bit of a fundamental problem rather than an actual solution. One didn't simply use the words “Sherlock” and “marriage” within the same sentence. Not even in a hypothetical context. Five times John kind of wanted to propose to Sherlock, and one time he didn’t have to.

Permanent Fixture by vitruvianwatson (E, 18,836 w., 9 Ch || Post-S4, Parentlock, Slow Build, Friends to Lovers, They’re Good Parents, Blushing Sherlock, First Kiss/Time, Explicit Consent, Sexual Content, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Mutual Pining, Big Feelings, Crying, First Kiss, Fluff, Anxious Sherlock, Inexperienced Sherlock, Emotional Communication, Love Confessions) – Now, as Rosie sat curled up against Sherlock’s side, John watched and wondered exactly how he had ended up here. Domesticity had never suited him before, not at any point in his life. His disastrous marriage had been proof of that. But somehow, here in the warmth and safety of 221B Baker Street, here with Sherlock Holmes reading medical jargon to his daughter, Sherlock’s bony feet nudging against his leg, John couldn’t imagine anyplace that would make him happier.

The One With the Proposal by kim47 (E, 22,375 w., 3 Ch. || Fluff, Romance, Marriage Proposal) – Proposing shouldn't be this difficult.

Sonatina in G Minor by SilentAuror (E, 22,574 w., 1 Ch. || Case Fic, POV Sherlock, Angst, UST, Sherlock’s Violin, Post-S3, Romance) – John has come back to Baker Street, but Sherlock doesn't understand the strange tension between them, even after he begins teaching John to play the violin at John's request.

a good old-fashioned happy ending by darcylindbergh (E, 32,731 w., 26 Ch. || Christmas, Frottage, Comfort, Est. Rel., Fluff, Insecure Sherlock, Frottage, Nightmares, Sleepy Sherlock, Marriage Proposal, Humour, Fluff, Dancing, Cooking, Happy Ending) – For Christmas this year, Sherlock wants to get John something special: something every fairytale deserves. Part 2 of things fairy tales are made of

Only To Be With You by SinceWhenDoYouCallMe_John (M, 40,768 w., 4 Ch. || Black Mirror / Future AU || Character Death, Future Technology, Sickness/Cancer/Illness, Heavy Angst with Happy Ending, First Person POV John, Pining John, Heart-Wrenching Angst, Promise of Forever) – I tell myself that next time I’ll come near this same place again. Wait around for the mysterious stranger in his coat to dash past me, hot on the heels of a new criminal in black. I think this all the way back to my Exit, planning where I’ll wait and what I’ll say when I see him. Scheming on how to get his name. It’s only once I reach the Exit Point door that I realize two hours and forty-five minutes have passed, and I realize that this won’t be the last time I Visit. It won’t be the last time at all.

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse by SilentAuror (E, 50,635 w., 1 Ch. || Post-S4/S4 Divergence, Case Fic, For a Case / Reverse Fake-Relationship, Conferences, Marriage Equality, Travelling / New York, Pride, Homophobia, Bottomlock, Marriage Proposal, John POV, Sexuality, Love Confessions, Emotional Love Making, Public Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, Passionate Kissing, Needy/Clingy Sherlock, Virgin Sherlock, Touching / Hand Holding, Bed Sharing, Little Spoon Sherlock, Intense Orgasms) – John and Sherlock go to New York to attend a conference run by the National Defence of Traditional Marriage Coalition in order to investigate the potential bombing of the annual Manhattan Pride parade. As the conference unfolds, John finds himself repulsed by the toxic ideology being presented, which becomes relevent to his own unacknowledged issues and his friendship with Sherlock...

Bridging the Ravine by SilentAuror (E, 58,887 w., 3 Ch. || Post S4, Couple For a Case, Bed-Sharing, First Times, Confessions, Awkwardness, Sex Trafficking, Massages, Wet T-Shirt Contest, Group Therapy, Past Loss of Child) – Sherlock and John go undercover at Ravine Valley, a therapy centre for same-sex male couples in an investigation into a possible human trafficking ring. As they pose as a couple and fake their way through the therapy sessions for the sake of the case, it quickly becomes difficult to avoid discussing their very real issues. Set roughly six nine months after series 4.

The Burning by SrebrnaFH (M, 60,658 w., 24 Ch. || Reverse Reichenbach, Suicide, Depression, Hurt Sherlock / John, Separation, BAMF John, Good Big Brother Mycroft, Angst, Implied/Referenced Torture, Fake Character Death, Rescue Mission, Reconciliation / Reunion, Hospitalization, Marriage Proposal, Illnesses, Physical Therapy, Happily Ever After) – Something went very, very wrong. John had seemed, if not happy, then reasonably content with his life. Sherlock had never predicted something like THIS might have happened. Not in his worst nightmares. He was the lousiest friend ever, apparently. At least Mycroft found him something to occupy his mind with, so that he didn't have to go back to 221B and stare at the walls and the chair, where John Watson would never sit again.

The Bells of King's College by SilentAuror (E, 64,019 w., 5 Ch. || Post-S4, Missed Opportunities, Angst with Happy Ending, Fake Relationship, Case Fic, John POV, Jealous John, John in Denial, Travelling / Holidays, Virgin Sherlock, Wedding Proposals) – It's only been two weeks since Eurus Holmes disrupted their lives when Mycroft sends John and Sherlock to Cambridge to pose as an engaged couple at a wedding show in the hopes of solving six unsolved deaths...

The Wedding Garments by cwb (E, 105,390 w., 36 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Alternate Future AU || Alternate First Meeting, Dating / Arranged Marriages, Romance, First Kiss/Time, Heavy Petting, Cuddles, POV Sherlock, Virgin Sherlock, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn / Falling in Love / Dev. Rel., Nervous/Anxious Sherlock, Jealous/Cranky, Hiking, Vacation Homes / Honeymoon, Sherlock’s Family, Horny John/Sherlock, Patient John, Massages, Hand Jobs, Assassination Plots, Hand Jobs / Oral Sex, Case Fic, Emotional Love Making, Bath Time Fun) – This is the story of a young consulting detective who wants nothing to do with marriage and an army doctor who wants to find true love. It's 2020 post-Brexit England and the British government is encouraging arranged marriages. Candidates meet through state-run agencies and date in hopes of finding love (and tax benefits). Sherlock doesn't need or want a spouse, at least not until John Watson shows up. Hesitant to give in to his more carnal urges because of the way they derail his mind, how will Sherlock progress toward the more intimate aspects of a relationship? The answer lies in a very special wedding gift.

Proving A Point by elldotsee & J_Baillier (E, 186,270 w., 28 Ch. || Me Before You Fusion || Medical Realism, Insecure John, Depression, Romance, Angst, POV John, Sherlock Whump, Serious Illness, Doctor John, Injury Recovery, Assisted Suicide, Sherlock’s Violin, Awkward Sexual Situations, Alcoholism, Drugs, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn, Body Image, Friends to Lovers, Hurt / Comfort, Pain, Big Brother Mycroft, Intimacy, Anxiety, PTSD, Family Issues, Psychological Trauma, John Whump, Case Fics, Loneliness, Pain) – Invalided home from Afghanistan, running out of funds and convinced that his surgical career is over, John Watson accepts a mysterious job offer to provide care and companionship for a disabled person. Little does he know how much hangs in the balance of his performance as he settles into his new life at Musgrave Court.

[theheightofdishonor]

S6a is more or less an homage to a character that wasn’t there at the expense of literally everyone else, and I kinda hated it. 

So imma make a list 

Things I hate

The rest of the older Pack don’t have individual arcs. I’d have loved to see what how Scott, Malia, and Lydia’s personalities and situations would’ve changed if Stiles wasn’t there; there’s a strong case to be made that they’d be drastically different people. The show kind of leans into this with Malia losing control without her anchor but considering they did nothing similar with the other two and the fact that Malia and Stiles haven’t even had a proper conversation since their shoddy breakup gave the change little significance. 

Seriously, Scott and Malia get absolutely nothing this season 

The lack of cohesion between the b-plot concerning the kids and the a-plot of getting Stiles back 

seriously, the kids need atleast a slightly stronger connection to the older characters 

how heavy-handed Stydia was and the general undermining of both of their other/past relationships *queue rant about how Stiles’s relationship with Scott was sidelined for this* 

I swear this post isn’t just going to be about hating Stydia’s execution but the fact they made the “moment everything changed” for Lydia to be their kiss in 3b makes me absolutely furious 

Peter in this season felt more like Ian and less like Peter to me, idk

Douglass- the secretly evil professor thing has been done before, and the flashbacks were boring- I skipped them with Marie-Jeanne and I skipped them with Douglass

Lydia’s banshee powers end up being the end-all be-all of everything supernatural related, like yes, banshee, interesting but also, stop connecting her to literally everything that happens in the supernatural world

I don’t think the show even knew what they were doing with Parrish this season

if the show can focus on Stiles without Dylan being there, why can’t they do the same thing with Kira or atleast mention the girl instead of just her sword?

Hayden suffers from Girlfriend Syndrome where she goes from a character in her own right to Liam’s girlfriend- her relationship with her sister, a driving part of her actions last season, is more or less non existent

Malia’s anchor is someone she hasn’t had a proper conversation with since 5a and she still hasn’t learned to be her own anchor 

Despite Theo being brought back from the dead to help save Stiles, Stiles and Theo don’t interact once and I’m bitter 

On a related note, Theo’s turn from I’ll-leave-you-to-die to fight-alongside-Scott felt too sudden, I’d have liked to see more emotional conflict 

Liam’s arc started to pick up in the last episode or so of 6a but in general, it was clumsy and was occasionally  dropped as the plot required 

Claudia’s existence being a means to fill the void in Sheriff’s life was actually a cool concept- except it’s not done with any other character in Beacon Hills who lost someone important to them and the only character in the show that does something similar is a banshee and the situation seemed tied to her powers 

Deaton disappears halfway through the show and it’s never mentioned

I’m aware this show has issues with consistency and I shouldn’t even bother but Lydia and Parrish’s entire death-related-connection thing was shoved in S4/5 but barely exists in this one-ok then  

Now, for things I liked

Mason Hewitt continues to be one of the most enjoyable characters on the show, and his relationship with Corey meant everything to me

I actually liked a lot of what they did with Corey this season, especially the tension between him and Liam stemming from the fact that they have vastly different outlooks on the whole heroism thing. 

The concept of Liam being the alpha-in-training; poor in execution but it’s a cool idea 

Stiles and Peter wandering around the Station figuring things out 

Ok, i’ll admit, the “remember I love you” scene was adorable 

That scene in the last ep where Scott asks if Stiles wants to split up and he says not a chance 

Malia calling Peter “dad”

when Stiles’s red thread appears and the Sheriff remembers Stiles’s room

the whole Stiles’s granddad thing and look into Stilinski Family History 

Theo and Liam at the hospital 

Chris and Melissa have chemistry, (I’d have loved it more if they built up to it a little in 5b and the conclusion to their plotline was kinda weak but i’ll take it) 

Melissa in general is as badass as ever

the scene where Melissa asks if Mason knows what the seven herbs are and he sprouts off the history and dictionary definition- I fucking love him, he’s so underrated 

Stiles being erased from reality was well-done (would’ve been better if they showed this happening with even one other character but alas) 

Stiles giving Mason his baseball bat and Scott his jeep 

You’ll notice that most of the things on the “I love” category are specific moments, and that’s because the only arc I loved in 6a was Mason and Corey.

Now onto 6b I guess 

[mayabishopapologist]

station 19 - season 4, etc

this is long but i want to put down my thoughts before thursday comes and i guess i have A Lot To Say.

honestly didn’t pay much attention to this show until halfway through season two—  always liked maya and was glad that they gave her more to do. going into season 3, i was excited for more character development &stronger storylines. however, by the end of  301 the dip in quality was glaringly obvious. a quick google search revealed that there was a new showrunner and, well, it showed. 

while the show had been going in a really good direction with balancing the screen time between andy and the other regulars, this season, the plot was all over the place. it was uber dramatic and just. so much happened just to happen? seemed like every other episode had a major event(deaths alone; ryan,rigo,pruitt?!!?). they were so frequent, it was hard to process. it was also hard to get invested as the characters themselves moved on(or were shown to have moved on, extremely quickly!) 

i enjoy the show for what it is and i have no delusions about broadcast tv shows (or shondaland productions, for that matter)but the suspension of disbelief.... i mean: a stabbing, a robbery, a shooting and a car crash? all in one episode? please! lmaooooo. drama for dramas sake is always boring and weakens the story.  

& as for the characters... .

everyone felt like a hollow version of themselves this season and it was hard to watch sometimes, actually. characters switched motivations /personalities for the sake of the current episode and i know this show is very ‘monster/emergency of the week’ but. some consistency! please! like—

maya: she’s always been determined and focused but they went so far with it this season, it was almost cartoonish. her competitiveness was hinted at in season 2 but she was always portrayed as self aware. ‘the beast,’ as she dubbed it to andy, was something she knew of and tried to contain, because she knew it could get out of hand. 

yet, in season 3 she suddenly forgets this and just. becomes the most power hungry/singularly focused person, ever. she goes after the captain position behind andy’s back, (citing andy’s emotional state, because of the death of her best friend as a reason she shouldn’t get the job?? huh. since when is maya this purely callous??!) she just doesn’t give af, suddenly, about andy at all, and goes for a job that she is hardly qualified for(she was lieutenant for like, a few months?)

and then after she gets the position, she just. loses all sense of reality? literally she was so unhinged(fun to watch but so much) and it was like. um?? maya has never been the uptight one (they've mentioned and depicted andy as being the one like this, multiple times!) and we know she knows how to have fun, so, for her to all of a sudden just. not know how to read the room? yeah okay. to make her so intense and severe, especially w the drills and training was, a choice. a bad one, on the writers part. like, i get that they needed her start as captain to be dramatic or whatever,  but there were ways to do that. and even the animosity with the team and her went so far, i just think that whole storyline was amazingly lazy, honestly.  

and the friendships!! andy and maya’s friendship is just, a mess. at this point they've spent more time at odds, and the idea that they're supposed to be best friends with this super close bond? yeah, i just... i dont buy it tbh. if they'd spent more time building up their connections and making us understand why they would be friends and showing them being there for each other past a few scattered scenes her and there? maybe. but so far, that hasn't been the case.  making that bond real, solidifying that friendship, would have made this conflict have more of an emotional impact. but doing it now? making maya ‘turn’ on andy, this soon and this drastically just. it made her seem like she was extremely jealous and had been waiting to pull the rug out from under andy all along. and also, why would they stay friends when, so far, maya has showed, time and time again, that she’s willing to let her wants/ambitions leech on her loyalty to andy? (jack thing, job thing, etc). although, it’s not like andy’s a good friend to maya either, she’s selfish and seems to like it when maya is in her corner but isnt always there for her. they went so far with the idea that maya was this coldly calculating asshole that she was almost a villain?? it was so silly to me.

and the traumatic home life plot they gave to maya was clearly their attempt at some adding nuance to her character and trying to explain why she would act the way she did, but to me? it fell flat. it was rushed, and they went from zero to 100(why did her mother come to talk about her divorce/abuse at maya’s job? like she was literally working? idgi. no boundaries lmaoo) 

and i actually relate and sympathize w maya a lot. and while i liked that they were exploring the many ways abuse can present itself, it was very... hm, ham-fisted. just super rushed and then wrapped up so quickly. they have, i think, written themselves into this dark place i fear they have no intention of exploring. 

and while i understand it, i hated how far they let maya go, especially because i don't feel they’ll adequately address it. they move on so quickly( maya was deaf for like half a season and then. she just. wasn't) and i hate the idea of her just being ‘fixed’. a relationship and an apology doesn't undo years of abuse, idc. also will they ever address maya’s um, thoughts about death??? because that was super heavy and not just something someone gets over? going to need for her to get actual professional help. that isn’t her girlfriend, like. asap. 

speaking of carina, i do like her and maya together a lot. big part of why i watch, ngl. but i need their relationship to be a lot more reciprocal. like, lets dial it back on the codependency, maybe. carina cant (and shouldn't have to) hold her up so much ! that’s not love. also maya needs to start being a good girlfriend. they started off that way, i know they can get back there. but like, we hardly got to see them settle into it, we got those cute 30sec clips of sweetness then maya was lashing out and cheating and it was like. wait a minute! what??? 

for s4, i want to see them working at reconciling—im talking, groveling, awkward in-between moments where carina isnt sure she can trust her. okay, tough conversations, hell, even jealousy because let's be real. maya working with jack is a lot for carina to just. take? i know i absolutely would not be happy about that, but i also wouldnt take maya back so... anyway! brushing over that would not just be a missed storytelling opportunity, but it would also be super unfair to carina and do a huge disservice to their relationship as a whole. as cute as they are, having cute moments with no real depth would get very old, very quickly.

carina: what can i say but-perfect, amazing, fantastic, WOW

seriously, carina is almost unrealistically perfect. she takes a lot and has been through the most (can they be nice 2 her this season? like just for fun) going forward, im going to need her to be more than a plot device to calm and soothe maya. i get that she was introduced as a love interest, but in season 4(as a season!!regular!!) that cant be all she is.

speaking of, it was really weird to me that she was promoted to station 19 and not greys because... what is a gynecologist going to do at a fire station? the general consensus seems to be that she’ll join warren’s PRT but like. she’s not a general surgeon so that’s a reach but, i want her around so ill buy it. i just want better and more for her tbh. not just screen-time, but also character development and depth! also friends! tired of carina being isolated, they did it on greys which. a waste! i meaaan, amelia was RIGHT. THERE. just look at the material! for s19, i want her, vic and travis to be friends or even just her and vic, like yesplease! i also want to know more about her and im tired of her being treated badly. like, i think society had progressed past carina being shitted on, thanks!

vic: my fave!!! they did so lazy by her this season ugh. she’s so charismatic and charming and just so good!! yet, her storyline was all over the place. we hardly got to see her sit with her grief  (spontaneous crying aside; barrett doss is so good!) she was just kind of... around. and that relationship w jackson. lol. it was so obviously for crossover potential and well. i didnt hate it or like it. actually, i was mostly indifferent. bored, even when they were onscreen together. i just didn't care and wanted more of vic, not vic and whoever. i know they're up in the air rn but i wouldn’t be torn up if he doesn’t come back. 

i want more for vic past just romantic entanglements. i know we’ve gotten a bit of her past, but i would like to see more! also, what about employment accomplishments? her artsy theatre friends? her family? just. more vic, please!!

she’s so fun and cool and when they let her, she shines. they need to let her! 

jack: my boy! so dumb, but i love him sm. he def needs like. major help, though lmao. and maybe it’s just me but im tired of his sex addict plot. like, we get it, but can we move on now? kthanks. they need to let him work on himself especially, the constant self sabotage. it's getting old. for ALL of them, actually, seriously, how many times can they all get in their own way.

andy: don’t really think about her. the mom storyline seems like it would be wonderfully dramatic, im intrigued. she and sullivan are cute, i guess. hope they make it.

ben: no major issues w his storyline, hardly remember it honestly. i liked the rapport he was building w vic and want them to explore that relationship more, its cute. 

travis: so funny and adorable, let him do more.

dean: loved him in all his entitled first born African son glory. i didnt so much love the baby plot but that always bores me. his sudden love for vic though. lol. since when? it def, came out of no where and while i really enjoy their friendship, to me, there is zero romantic chemistry there so i would prefer it if they just. stopped. lmao. also. the way he treated her because he could get a handle on his emotions? ridiculous. has humanity not like, gotten past the ‘he’s mean bc he likes you’ thing?? like grow up maybe?

and this isnt just about dean but like. are there not more single young people in seattle? why do they all have to sleep with the same 5 people. ik for the sake of plot, workplace relationships are easier but still. i think they should branch out. really. 

overall, i want better for all of them, and i think if the writers would just. take a moment and stop trying to tell so many stories in such little time, they could do better! also, whoever’s out there. please, enough w the crossovers! dont want to be forced to watch greys just to know what’s happening on 19. i get that they're in the same universe. it’s only mentioned every other episode. we. get, it. i liked what they did with private practice, it was like once every few seasons. and i know they won’t do that, but maybe, two a season. 

this is so much. but this how does have a ton of potential and i just really want it . like, get there.

[remsmoonlight]

Title: safety net

Pairing: daryl dixon / original female character

Chapter: one

Summary: In a world designed to test your humanity, a woman fights to keep hers. But she walks a fine line between staying human and welcoming death and darkness. [ S2 - S4 ]

The light coloured gaze that belongs to a lone female almost darkens in frustration as she notices the sky beginning to dull and bleed into beautiful tones that always signified the oncoming approach of the night and the glistening stars that could only be seen more prominently ever since the world had passed its very own death day. Light pollution has become a thing of the past. Cassie hadn’t meant to stay out so late, but she had wanted to prove to herself and members of the Greene family that she was able to survive out in the town as she scavenged for things that would be useful to them.

Maggie had made many trips into town, always refusing Cassie’s help. Now, whether or not that was because she couldn’t trust her friend to hold her own, she doesn’t know but this was something that would only bring concrete proof that she was able to survive. She lets out a sigh at the whole situation, digging into her backpack for the half full bottle of water that she’d managed to ration very well -- you couldn’t be too careful those days. Such as when you lose track of time and end up staying out hours later than you should. They’re so gonna kill me later Cassie mentally remarks to herself, she thought it would be a quick trip but she’d gotten too distracted by trying to be useful.

The woman drops the bottle back into the backpack as she drags her feet along the cooling dirt that had suffered the heat from the punishing Georgian sun. She scans every building in her line of sight, call her a perfectionist but all she can see are the defects with the potential safe shelter. Are you trying to die out here? she asks, as she thinks negatively to herself. Too many breaks in that window, that door looks weak, not enough exit routes. The slow dragging of a pair of feet and snarls causes her to turn suddenly, she hates this part. Cassie knows she can handle herself, she’d done so with those things before she’d found refuge at her old school friend’s farm but it isn’t something she enjoys. It wouldn’t even be the first thing she wished to do, but it had to be done.

I don’t have to like it but I’ll do it.

Gripping the knife, Cassie slowly advances to meet the dead being halfway, studying its movements intently  -- a few seconds and it’s over. She pulls the knife from their head with little less fight than she was used to, I’m getting better at this she comments to herself in her mind, though a heavy feeling soon begins to settle in her heart as she realises that this person used to have life. They used to have friends and family, they used to have bills to pay, they used to have favourite songs to sing along to. They were human. Cassie doesn’t want to believe that she disregarded their humanity so easily in favour of thinking about herself and how well she was able to cope.

This is what you were afraid of. You’re losing yourself faster than you thought.

She pushes herself up harshly with a verbal shudder, tears beginning to build. She rubs her eyes with force to banish them away and sniffs. The young woman needs to collect herself before she finds herself in a situation she can’t get out of. One of the things she has feared ever since killing the first of those things was losing her humanity.. even before the world turned she knew how despicable people could become. She didn’t want to think about who she could become if she survived this world, Cassie didn’t want to lose her light or her life -- the world was dark as it was.

As if planned perfectly, her eyes settle on an aging liquor store.The cobwebs and dried spray paint were visible from the distance she sadly stood. I remember that, she mused fondly. It was when she and some friends were caught trying to convince someone to buy a bottle of alcohol for them as teenagers - before her father forced them to move out of the town to the next one over. It was a strange sight to see, how these places that held so much life now dead and silent.

Still, the stone walls and bars on the windows are perfect and wash a warming comfort over her entire body, it was safe enough to spend the night in. She only prays silently that  trouble doesn’t follow in her path.

A small grunt of effort is dropped into the open air from her parted lips as she dedicates little energy and force to open the doors into the building. People had been there before her, the assumption is only confirmed when she makes her way through the door and scans the area - everything, empty. A disbelieving chuckle erupts from her. The end of the world where the dead roam the Earth and what do people go and do? They leave the shelves bare from bottles of alcohol. When you need your wits about you and they want themselves inebriated, Cassie didn’t want to believe it. Human nature was still a surprising thing.

With a bicycle lock secured to prevent anything or anyone gaining entry into her temporary housing, the woman allows herself some steady breaths before she overturns one of the few chairs from it’s upside down position on the floor to sit down on it. There isn’t much effort when she lifts the bag to the table, not much was left to scavenge. Cassie is happy with what she did get however, smiling to herself when she pulls out dried food that would be beneficial in the long run and the batteries that would be needed soon. There were a few other trinkets that may or may not be of use but she proved something to herself -- and for that, she learnt something about herself.

Despite laying herself on the floor to sleep, it doesn’t come easy. Her mind is too preoccupied with the noises from the outside of the building, sometimes they were too close to be able to tell if they belonged to the living or the dead. She tries, however, to give a mighty fight with her own mind to fall asleep by scrutinising the dust that littered the creaky floors but it’s a fight she’s destined to be defeated in. When she finally spots sunlight beginning to break through the clouds to fill the dirtied room, Cassie makes no hesitation in deciding it is a good enough alarm clock. She swiftly realises that she isn’t  going to be getting anymore sleep and she’d rather be back at the farm anyway.

There’s an energetic spring in her step despite the lack of sleep she had been able to get but that doesn’t matter, she’s happy to be home soon. The nagging thought of Maggie and her family being furious with her lack of notification of her whereabouts lay heavily on her soul -- though she was good with confrontation though, her patience was almost never ending.

Her heart beats rapidly as she spots a group of people she had never laid eyes on in her life, they surrounded one of the wells on the property, standing out against the warm shades of the ever growing grass and oversized bushes that were everywhere. The only solace granted to her weary soul is that Maggie is standing with them and does not appear to be in any distress by their presence. She cautiously steps closer and closer to the scene, mentally placing the pieces to make a puzzle -- yet even then it’s as if her fingers are trying to force pieces that do not fit together.

“ Maggie! What’s going on? “ she calls out to her friend, closing the distance between them with each growing second.

“ Ca- where have you been ?! “ Maggie shouts, ignoring the question put to her. Maggie storms forward to her friend, eyes have been ignited with a growing fire as she sets her sight on the other woman.

“ I went out on a run, I .. I just lost track of time, I guess. “ Cassie shrugs effortlessly with an upbeat tone despite the tense atmosphere.

“ How do you lose track of time? “ scoffs Maggie, she could feel the panic merging with the pain in her veins to form a melted pot of furiosity. “ You didn’t -? We didn’t know where you were! Cassie, Otis is dead. “

The optimistic glow that had powered her journey back to the home is instantaneously diminished until it’s no more than dying embers as she allows the words Maggie had just spoken to her to soak in completely. The bag that she held on one shoulder fell to the hay covered grass with a flat thud as she moves closer to her friend to embrace her. In the time Cassie had known the man, he was nothing more than a gentle giant. She can physically feel her heart break into pieces at their loss, the woman clinging to Maggie as she disregards the others who watch curiously momentarily.

“ Mag’s.. I’m so sorry. “

“ Come on, let’s get you back. “ Maggie speaks, pulling away from Cassie. She tries to paint a lighter image on her features as this. She was grateful that her friend had not suffered a fate that is a mirror image to that of Otis. “ Everyone will be happy to know you’re here. “

“ What happened to him? Who are they? “ she asks with curiosity, as she’s led back by her friend with an arm around her shoulder.

“ They showed up last night, one of their guy’s with an injured kid on our doorstep. '' the two walk up the steps of the large house, facing one another. “ Couldn’t exactly say no. They showed up after. “

A storm slowly battles its through the woman’s features as she tries to come to terms with how inverted their situation had quickly become in the hours she had not been present, she doesn’t want to shed her tears in front of strangers but you never expected to lose your friends or family under such circumstances. She brings both of her hands to wipe her face - as if to wash the pain away until it was no more than a ghost across her image.

“ He died gettin’ equipment dad needed to help their boy. “

Cassie is hardly looking forward to any lecture that every Greene in the household probably had for her absence. She admits to herself she should have told them that she was going but her stubbornness prevented her, to her, it was just a quick trip. However quick trips were not to the corner stores now, but what used to be people’s own homes. Their sanctuaries that now have become their graves.. providing they were not graced with the blessing to escape from one nightmare into another, one they had more control over.

Her knees bob up and down at a brisk pace as she watches Hershel walk into the room from her seated position on the plush couch in the living room.

“ What you did was very irresponsible, Cassie. We wouldn’t have been able to send anyone out after you. Between the boy and Otis.. “ Hershel’s tones are filled to the brim with disappointment, especially as they had the little boy to deal with.

The eye contact shared is broke harshly, she’s unable to hold the connection under the burden of his disappointment.

“ I’m sorry, I mean it. But you guys wouldn’t let me out! Even with Maggie. “

“ You must understand there’s a reason for these decisions. You might not understand now, but down the road. “ Hershel replies gently, his voice is a step above a whisper. He’d known the woman since she was a child -- Maggie and her were both so close as children.

A cynical laugh hangs in the air over those in the room, she hates to be so disrespectful to the family who has handed her security with the seclusion the farm provides. On a rare occasion she would find herself forgetting that the world had collapsed into itself, the serenity providing her a peace that was often a missing part that her soul craved from time to time. Cassie certainly doesn't want to offend anyone but she needs them to realise that she wasn’t naive as she may present herself to be, she knows how the world works.. though his denial would prove a burdensome load on that plan of hers.

“ I understand! I mean it that I’m super grateful for everything, but you need to realise. It’s not what you think! “ she argues, feeling a tingle in the very ends of her fingertips from the emotion she felt.

“ I don’t want anyone in this house getting sick, that was the risk that you took without consulting us and it’s something that I can’t allow to happen again. “

Guilt begins to overwhelm her shuddering body, she knew she did wrong and it was the circumstances that really threw her plan of independence into the deep river of inconveniences but it was a battle she would lose and she knows it’s best not to argue. She truly does feel bad that she had added onto the Greene family’s stress those two days, she prefers not to burden people after all -- knowing there had been incidents in the past that had been out of her control yet she brought down the spectacle from time to time. However, within the dark corners of her mind she yearns to intently to yell at him, to scream they’re not sick but rather they are dead. Hershel was a man in denial, and there was nothing harder to break than a man who cannot confront the truth that is right in front of him.

“ You’re right, I’m sorry. It won’t happen again. “

“ Look -- “ Hershel leans forward, and clasped his hands together. He could see both of her parents in her. “ I promised your father you would be safe here, and if you’re not here that can’t happen. “

“ May I be excused? “ she asks the man, inching towards the end of her seat.  

Hershel simply nods, he’d also rather wash his hands of the situation, especially as they had bigger things to worry about now. The new additions to the farm did not taste so sweet on his tongue and the sooner the boy was ready and healthy, the sooner they could leave.

As Cassie stands before the declining state of the mirror, small particles of dust lining the mirror as a light blanket she washes the cooling liquid running from the tap over her face. She can hear the voices from the unknown new arrivals from the open window, needless to say she was curious of the new situation but, there was also a sense of dread clawing its way from her gut. She had a bad feeling that a storm was on its way.

AN: okay this is the first time writing for twd and im nervous and excited, especially as i'm not used to writing in this style! but i hope this will be something you will like soooo just let me know what you liked or what could be done better! we'll be having team family interactions next!

[haqita-kimoji]

Darts of Pleasure - Chapter 2 - Reel Her In

Pairing: Levi Ackerman x Original Character (Sophie Poulain)

Genre: Romance, light fluff

Warnings: Manga spoilers, s4 spoilers, don’t read when you’re not updated with the latest anime episode

Word count: 1.8k words

a/n: I feel my writing is amateur-ish at best hence any feedback is very much welcomed. Posted on wattpad and AO3 as well.

Chapter 2: Reel Her In

Dinner in the mess hall was meatloaf, a gravy-soaked concoction that did not taste like meat or resemble a loaf, a bowl of mushroom soup, and garlic bread. Levi had speared a slice of meat with his fork and raised them to just below his chin, but then seemed to forget about them as his gaze fell to Sophie. He'd forgotten he was eating, he had yet taken a single bite of his dinner until the meatloaf nearly slides off the fork. Listening to Hange talk on and on while stealing glances to Sophie, he'd watched full of curiously at her interacting with the other Marleyan soldiers.

When Hange would pause in her monologue, she would raise her eyebrows at his fork and lifted her chin suggesting him to take a bite. Levi would merely sigh, rolled his eyes, shoveled them in his mouth and chewed with an expression asking: Why do humans go through the dreary process of digesting food? Hange knew her friend well, she noticed his poor attempt of concealing his glances at the Marleyan table. She crossed her arms beneath her chest and kicked at his shin playfully to get his attention.

"What?" Levi asked.

"You got to reel her in you know, be subtle about it." Hange suddenly said to encourage him, her lips curved into a smile. "It's that bit of nuance you know." Hange began to share her input on the matters of love with a monotonous Levi who stayed silent throughout. Hange insisted that he should strike a conversation with her but talk only about the most mundane things, the weather, the local Marleyan cuisine and culture, anything that would give him an opportunity to communicate while utilizing the silent but deadly language of eye contact.

Levi's face stayed stoic. The truth was, other boys were not as powerful as Levi when it comes down to fighting titans with the ODM gears and hand-on-hand combat, but they were more skillful at asking girls out because what they lacked had taught them persistence. Whereas Levi had never even entertained the infatuation from any pursuer. Levi's skills with the ODM gears had left him dry on tricks, and in misery, he merely sighed at Hange and her advice.

"Levi!" Hange shrieked, awakening him to his senses.

"Yes," Levi replied, swirling the mushroom soup with the garlic bread.

"Wow, you must really like her huh? She got you all tongue-tied," Hange moved her eyebrows playfully, then made a quick glance to Sophie. Oh fuck, Levi thought to himself, even Hange has started to notice how wary he is around the mess halls.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Levi announced, hissing almost.

"Levi, if you want to befriend her, you've got to start by actually talking to her. I think you know what you've got to do," Hange ventured, teasingly taking a slice of his garlic bread she'd hope he won't notice.

"Yeah," Levi looked down to his bowl of mushroom soup, his lips pursed. Hange merely looked to his friend, speechless, indeed Levi was a man of few words. Most people would not know but Levi was a shy person. To even talk to someone he was mildly attracted to would require a lot of courage and planning on his part.

Somehow the stars aligned for Levi that night and the opportunity arose, both Eren and Jean started to shout and wrestle each other in the middle of the mess hall. Jean aimed for a body slam in the midsection whereas Eren went for the crazed punch to the head. At the last moment, Jean reached one hand out and hit Eren by the jaw. Eren spit out the blood and with his leg, swept Jean's feet out from under him. As expected of the other soldiers, both Paradis and Marleyan started to form a circle between the two and cheered them on.

Any other day, Levi would intervene and stop the fight. But that night, he noticed Sophie was away from her squad trying to catch a glimpse of the fight and he figured it was the best opportunity to approach her. Levi stood up and lingered nearby, planning meticulously in his head how to execute his plan. Taking a deep breath, he left his seat and walked to the cheering crowd. Three times his heart jumped at the decoys of other petite girls he walked past.

A few more stride and he saw Sophie on her tip-toes, her eyebrows furrowed curiously to view the fight. Levi found himself staring at her with a concentration so focused everyone else ceased to exist. A fuzzy aura surrounded her, probably due to so much blood draining out of Levi's head. He looked back to his table at Hange knowing she was observing his move, indeed Hange grinned at him while raising her cup of beer to wish him luck.

Levi took a deep breath and walked towards her, his pace slowing as he halted to a stop beside her. Sophie was unaware of Levi and was more enamored of the ongoing action, to her it was Eren, the founding and attack titan performing hand-on-hand combat hence it was a big deal even if everything was in good fun. Even though Levi avoided looking at her, it was no use, he felt Sophie beside him, registered her body temperature, heartbeat and respiration rate. He also noticed hay sticking by the bottom hem of her grey slack, she must have been to the stable that day.

Right then it happened, Jean tried to finish off with a body punch that entered cartoonishly far into Eren's gut. The room rippled louder with laughter and cheering. It was then that Sophie noticed the figure beside him, Levi Ackerman, with a stoic monotonous face, he looked clearly unamused with the ongoing commotion. She swallowed a lump on her throat, nervous at how she ended up bumping shoulders with the infamous Captain Levi.

He suddenly leaned into her and said, "They're both morons."

In response, she merely nodded her mouth agape. He is an Ackerman, the clan Zeke had warned about, and she was in awe. But Levi, who was very much curious leaned in and pointed to her slack, "You got hay on you."

"Hay? Oh, this?" Sophie nervously replied, looking down to her gray slack. "Oh yeah, I visited the stable earlier." The light from the lamps of the mess hall gathered in the dark waves of her loose hair, her cheeks were bright pink and Levi was transfixed.

Levi waited for the cheering to peak before he spoke again, "You like to visit the stables?" Realizing how stupid his attempt was at forming a basic sentence he quickly added, "I mean horses--- You like horses?"

"Yes," Sophie replied, nervously tucking her hair behind her ear. "The horses here in Paradis are super friendly, bitey though."

"Yeah our horses tend to bite," Levi smacked his lips nervously. "In the Marleyan military do you horse ride?" He noticed Sophie's cheeks were reddening, he could smell her next to him, her hair like lavender and the smell of her skin like grapefruit.

The crowd was getting louder and it was harder for them to listen to one another. Leaning in, closer than Levi would ever imagine, Sophie whispered to him her breath hitting his earlobes, "Unfortunately there's no horse riding in the Marleyan navy, but I use to back in my hometown. I live in the countryside back home."

"Oh wow, ok!" Levi blurted out, a little too eagerly. They both smiled nervously in that small amount of time, but nerves got the best of him and suddenly Levi turned around from Sophie and simply muttered, "Yeah well, see you around."

Confused at his sudden reaction, Sophie merely waved him goodbye and stood where she was, overthinking if she had caused Levi to leave. She had heard of Levi's infamous cleaning habits and hygiene standards, she figured maybe the hay on her slack was a turn-off to him.

As Levi walked away, Hange jumped from the side and grabbed him by his arm pulling him to the wall. "Levi, what are you doing?" Hange glided over and inquired to him in a hushed deep voice.

"I--- I got nervous...?" Levi answered, his heart was pounding. His eyes showed signs of regret and anxiety, then he continued, "She loves horses AND she smells great. She's the perfect woman!" Hange pinched the bridge of her nose, suppressing the incoming laughter from seeing a side of Levi she never witnessed before.

"My dear Levi. You must really like this girl for you to act like this," Hange replied calmly. "Listen, approach her again and invite her for tea, somewhere less noisy. In your office perhaps?"

Both of them looked back to Sophie who was pouting and muttering to herself, looking confused. Hange assumed she was probably in distress figuring out what had happened, maybe they'd be perfect for each other in their own way, she thought. Placing her hand on Levi's shoulder Hange leaned down and whispered to his ear, "This is for you Levi."

Impulsively, Hange took a bowl of peanuts from the nearby table and started to throw it to a clueless Sophie, aiming for her back. A naïve Sophie slowly turned around to find Hange, the commander of Survey Corps, throwing peanuts to her back.

"Sorry! I was aiming for the---" Hange paused looking for an excuse but gave up halfway. "The--- Floor! Yes, I was aiming for the floor. But yeah, now that I have your full attention--- Levi." Hange nudged forward a nervous Levi to approach her, Sophie merely stared back at him concerned, her eyes widen. Sophie wondered if she was in trouble.

"Yeah Hange was--- She was trying to aim for the---" Levi tried to explain, English suddenly a second language for him. With one big breath he blurted out the words, "Would you like to go somewhere quiet and have tea?" Sophie looked to him, her face bright red, her wide round eyes flitted back and forth.

"Yes, I'd like that." she glanced to the floor then back to his gaze. Levi could smell the light-fruity sweetness of her breath. "But only if you let me make you Marleyan tea."

Levi nodded and stepped a few steps back, but before doing so leaned back to Sophie. "Sure, meet me at my office quarters. Second floor, turn left, first door to the right," he said and took off.

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh S4 Ep 18 pt 2: Yami Visits Yugi in Hell, California

So, last we left the team, we were running straight into Hell, which is located about where the IRL Costco is.

Everyone except Tea, who is apparently way too scary of a person to run into Hell.

So the rules of the spirit realm are that if you have more than one person too many vengeful spirits will be present, but like...how many vengeful dead spirits does Tea have??? The implications of Tea’s former life here are kind of a lot. Anyway, no Tea’s allowed.

TBH, Yugi saw Tea running after him into Hell to pull out his soul he would probably be too scared of the implied commitment to come out.

So, lets get a rollcall of vengeful spirits going, remember Season One?

holy crap, that’s right, it’s PaniK.

(more dead guys under the cut)

Then we have the twins who only spoke in rhyme and...I checked the notes here..they didn’t die. They were absolutely fine the last time we met them. But I dunno...maybe Pegasus got bored and sacrificed them to the crypt during Season 2.

Then we come across this guy.

So according to Bro, Bandit Keith burned alive in the manga or something, while in the show he got away scott free from that warehouse that was on fire in the beginning of S2. My brother has a lot of spicy headcanons but like...

(bro note: I can’t find any reference on the internet easily so it didn’t happen. I just heard it somewhere. Maybe Pharaoh regrets not mind wiping Keith.)

...I feel like even if he’s dead in the Manga you can’t just have him dead here without me lifting my own Stars and Stripes colored eyebrows in doubt. If this guy were to die, it would have to be by very excessive fireworks, and other than that burning warehouse, we’ve had no other opportunities to do it.

Ah...it’s...this guy. Who never had a name, ever.

Why would you even put him in this montage?

And then we get two people that I know for certain can’t be kicking it.

So it seems to me that everything happening here is probably not real. This is all Yami’s head, Yami’s thoughts, and Yami’s guilt. And Yami is already really, really hard on himself. He lives with a lot of demons basically all the time. So he kind of walks through here and is like “whaddup, demons.” because this is a very been there, done that situation.

Can’t believe that Noah and Gozaburo made so little an impact on Yami, as well as all the Big 5 who we’ve killed at least twice, but I guess Yami was kind of sleeping most of that arc.

Other people Yami has dueled in the past that coulllllllllld be offscreen dead that didn’t make the list: 

-The Rare Hunter twins who did a terrorism and fell into a skyscraper

-Alt-rock Kingdom Hearts Mime

-Bonez (who was Bakura’d so like...he might cease to exist on any timeline or anyone’s memories now)

-Pegasus

-BAKURA (Any version of Bakura, honestly. Where is Bakura?)

Anyway, eventually we get to the middle of California Stonehenge, which is where Yugi is currently hanging out like a Star Trek holo deck.

Speaking of hologram--Yugi’s a card right? Yami could have just played Yugi and been like “hey! Can I tell you something?” (and then Seto Kaiba somewhere would notice on his dueling disk facebook that Yugi just plated Yugi Muto’s soul and would be like “Mokuba, we need to ban Yugi’s account, half of his deck is not even tourney legal.”)

And then Yami spends this precious time to talk mostly about himself. Like honestly, he just went halfway to hell (or Millbrea, or whatever this is) just to vent what he basically already knows.

And what makes this conversation kind of strange is that Yami starts going off about how Yugi’s the “pure” side of him, the “light” side of him, if you will. I’ve already touched on how much I disagree with this since Yugi is a freakin madman all on his own. And, this episode goes out of it’s way to do the same.

Because it’s about this point that Yugi starts getting real uncharacteristically mad. It’s lowkey kind of hilarious because it’s like:

And yes, it’s about time that Yugi went off, but it does make you wonder--so is this what Yugi would be like all the time if Pharaoh wasn’t in there, or does Pharaoh assume that Yugi is mad at him, and so his SpiritJourney!Yugi reflect Pharaoh’s own insecurities?

Like, is this even Yugi?

This might not be Yugi at all, this might be just Yami screaming at himself in a desert, which is also very on key for Yami and has been Yami’s whole deal for about (checks watch)...this entire season.

Either way, Yugi’s REALLY pissed off and tired of Pharaohs 49ersfit.

And so, to take this a step further than just screaming at most likely a hallucination of yourself, Yugi pulls out a duel disk and the two decide to play cards because...

...It just always comes back to cards. Can’t have a heart to heart without doing life threatening card games first.

And so they decide to have a card match. It goes just about as smoothly as a card match would go when you consider that this is Yami hallucinating/possibly dueling a ghost of himself/just crawled out of a train crash/just murdered the hell out of Weevil Underwood.

Basically this duel has a very silly gimmick.

Other than playing a lot of the same cards as during the Raphael fight, Yugi spends most of his time just tearing into Yami, which again...justified.

And for just a little blip of an eye, a little tiny moment--he’s almost a Season Zero Yuugi. Just a nice dark magic Yugi with no ghost, just a real bastard underneath those glowing eyes.

But anyway, much like the duel where Yami lost his mind and went evil, it didn’t last more than a few minutes before the duel was over and Yugi was just instantly better. Of all the duels this season--this is the one I would have liked to have 3 episodes of. Just saying.

Yugi’s whole explanation for why he’s done this--and this is a stretch, but I guess it still follows card logic--Yugi decided to use the Oricalchos so that he would become the darkness inside of Pharaoh’s mind (since they are the same person), and so when he lost the game, that darkness inside of himself was taken by the Orichalcos, leaving Pharaoh now darkness-free

...It’s a stretch. They’re both still ripe with dark magic so I don’t think it did what they think it did, lore wise. But yeah, it did make Pharaoh physically fight all his insecurities until he killed them (who was also Yugi, don’t think about it). It was also very manipulative, and I just want to throw out there you should not do this to your best friends.

How many fireballs now has Tea watched Yugi take straight to the chest? At least 3, right? 5?

Anyway, Yami gets reaaaally upset that he killed his fake dead boy who just used fake (but maybe real?) Orichalcos.

Yami just can’t keep any version of Yugi alive.

And just like that, Yugi leaves the series, again.

Kind of.

Again, this Yugi was...probably not even Yugi. This was probably a grief-onset hallucination.

Sure am glad that Pharaoh can talk to this barely-even-Yugi to work out his insecurities instead of the--youknow--the GIRL he’s been kind of dating for the past 4 seasons. Really glad Tea kind of stood on a ledge and was like “Do you need to talk about it!?” While Yami was like “Not Necessary!” while he sort of dueled the ghosts in his head.

Kind of a marvel that the only person Yami knows how to talk to is Yugi (who as we found out this episode might be a crazy person) and...kind of Seto Kaiba (who is definitely a crazy person). That’s about it.

Yami’s had a hard time, but hopefully now he can talk to Joey without getting punched directly in the face. I guess we’ll find out next episode.

And if you just got here, this is a link to read these from the beginning.

Hope y’all are staying safe and inside. Us personally, are stuck inside until at least May 1st. Please pray for my patience.