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v3nusxsky · 2 years ago

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Lunch date

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*A/n~ i was going to write NSFW with this prompt however the fluff works best here it is coming tho. A new story will be released soon ;) this is a bonus chapter I will still update later and for todays fun fact ironically this was written while I was eating cookies*

TW~ eating d!sorder

Prompt~ sleepy fluff just fluff fluff fluff please (I'm going to very loosely continue the one shot body image in this one. So if you read that one shot this one will make more sense, however it can be read alone)

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Since that night in your room, Larissa made every effort to ensure you were getting the correct amount of food. She was gentle but persistent on the subject which eventually broke down your walls. Any information you offered about your eating disorder was eagerly listened to and stored in her brain so she could find the best ways to help you. So when you revelled that you often skipped meals if you were alone due to the fear of eating more than everyone else, well the only logical solution was to have lunch together. These lunch dates were a routine that you grew to look forward too. On the good days, company was amazing and you felt good just sitting in silence, enjoying her company and eating. On the bad days you would sit and anxiously watch how many bites Larissa had compared to yours, picking at your own food and pushing it round the plate. Those days you'd struggle only to be met with comforting words and reassuring touches to your arms or knees. Never in your life had anyone put this much effort into ensuring you ate and were well. It was an odd feeling but not one that wasn't welcomed. Over time Larissa learned your safe foods, and the foods that you couldn't even look at without panicking. When Larissa started to make you both foods that you'd not longer ate out of fear or just foods you'd been too scared to try, you became aware of the part of her desk that had your safe foods safely tucked away in.

The impossibly loud bell rang out as you were mid way through a sentence, signalling lunch was here. Today was definitely a bad day for you, and as the students fled the room to go and have a well earned lunch you debated not going to Larissa. You'd had bad days before which she had dealt with beautifully as always. But this was different. You knew the principal was stressed with the recent events at Nevermore and the last thing you wanted was for your bad day to burden her. In an attempt to protect Larissa, you settled at your desk ready to work through the lunch break. Your lesson plans would provide an excellent distraction from the guilt that was gnarring at your stomach. You felt worse by not going. But it was for the best. Right?

Wrong. Oh how you were wrong. Larissa anxiously waited for you assuming you'd just ran over into lunch. You'd be there soon right? You'd never missed lunch with her since that night. The halls went quiet as the students settled in for lunch and still there was no you. Larissa couldn't explain the feeling but somehow she knew. Something was wrong. And that's what lead her to your classroom. Peering through the little glass window she was met with the sight of you hunched over your desk scribbling notes. With a small sigh she knocked on the door watching as you jumped straight of of the chair in shock. Making her way to you she could see that you were fighting and internal battle here.

"Y/n? Are you quite alright? I was worried when you didn't come to my office like normal dear." Her gaze was unwavering as she observed your reaction and behaviours. She was pretty good at depicting the bad days from the good based on your body language alone. Today was most definitely a bad day. You looked tired, shoulders slouching ever so slightly and your delicate arms wrapped around your middle as if you were holding yourself up. All things easily missed if she were anyone else but herself.

"I-I I'm sorry I just it's bad today and you have so much going on I don't want to make you deal with me I'm sorry I didn't want to worry you I just I can't add more to your already full schedule." You rushed out the panic evident in your tone as you dropped your head down in guilt. You only wanted to take something off her plate. After all she wasn't required to help you at all. The relationship you and Larissa had engaged in was growing more than a boss and employee and maybe even more than friends at this point. This terrified you. How could anyone want to be with you? Negative thoughts continued to swirl round your head in a never ending cycle causing you to miss the reply to your rushed statement.

"Are you still with me little one?" She hummed out eyes softening as she could see you were heading well on your way to a panic and anxiety attack all in one."y/n? Can I touch you please? I'd very much like to take this to my office. It's a lot more private there dear."

You found yourself nodding watching as she took your hand in hers and held it tightly. She motioned to the door as an incentive for you to come with her, however your body was stiff. Her office meant food. You knew that. You really didn't need lunch. She really didn't need to concern herself with this. It was the arm coming round your shoulders guiding you to the door that broke your thoughts. Soon enough you were sat in the office seeing the usual set up of your lunch dates. Panic and guilt made themselves present again. Larissa had gone through a lot of effort and you didn't even show. Tears silently trailed over your cheeks. Why couldn't you just be normal?

Soft pads of the older women's thumbs brushed the tears from your cheeks and she spoke in the sweetest voice it may as well have been angel Gabriel speaking. "Little one, it's okay. I'm not mad. Try to ignore the food for the minute and focus on my voice okay? I'm here. I'm not mad. And I'm not leaving you okay? "

This invoked a small nod as you tried to do just that. Focusing your gaze onto her beautiful sky blue eyes. You could get lost in those easily. The lighter shades mixing with the slightly darker shades swirling together creating its own unique shade that was hers and hers only. They say eyes are the windows to the soul and now sat here like this you could confirm it's accuracy. The women sat in front of you was pure of heart and soul and you could see that in her gentle gaze. Without realising you seemed to have calmed yourself right back down before the attack could reach its full height. The gentle strokes of her thumbs on your cheeks had helped greatly.

"That's it good girl. It's going to be okay. Now do you think you'd like to try what I prepared today?" She questioned you the tone of her voice letting you know you could say no. It was completely up to you. The small nod she received caused her to smile and lead you to where the food was set up. "Little one how many? 3?"

You paused assessing the situation of the food in front of you. They were quite small and looked inviting. How many calories- no no no you wouldn't do this. You were going to be okay. Larissa is here and wouldn't give you more than you needed. You're safe. The next sentence you mumbled shocked yourself and the older women briefly.

"I uh um can I have four?" You whimpered quietly. What had you just done? Oh god. The panic began to rise but being vanquished when you saw the beautiful eyes light up and respond "you can have five little one"

"I only want four" you replied with your voice shaking

"Okay" her voice would solve world wars one day you swear it.

"Okay" you whimpered back watching as she plated your plate before doing the exact same for herself. Knowing this was a big step for you. Especially on a bad day. She was so proud of you, you could practically feel it radiating round the room.

You struggled carefully watching Larissa in a comfortable silence. Her smile was magnificent as she saw the empty plate. Immediately coming round to you and gathering you in her arms.

"Oh my darling girl, you did it. You did amazingly. I know that was hard for you but I'm so proud of you. Such a good girl for me hmm?"she whispered into your hair before absentmindedly placing a kiss to the crown of your head. The bell rang in the distance and it was then that you were glad for planning periods.

You stayed in her embrace just soaking in the comfort she was offering up. "I'm sorry for not coming myself Rissa. I just don't want to burden you're already so busy and everything is so hectic I just didn't want to be extra work..." you trailed off the emotion was thick in your voice letting on just how badly you believed you were a burden.

"Darling, you're never a burden. When you love someone it's never extra work. You did amazingly today little one I'm so proud of you. Remember you never have to face the bad days alone I'll always be here with you."

"I-uh- you love? Me?" You stuttered out not quite sure you heard her right.

"I do yes. You're absolutely beautiful inside and out what's not to love?" Her admission causing tears to fall freely once more. "Oh little one don't cry it's okay you're okay come here." Her arms opened and on instinct you threw your tiny body into her strong arms. You choked back your tears as you whispered "I love you too Rissa" into her neck.

Maybe you we're flawed. You knew this would never go away. But maybe just maybe you could deal with it. As long as you had her.

Word count~ 1754

*A/n~ I never originally planned a sequel but I love how this one could flow from Body image. I hope you're all okay and remember my messages are always open to any of you struggling. Remember to look after yourselves dear readers. *sips water and continues to write more for you all*

#anon answered #v3nusxsky answers #fanfic #principal larissa weems #larissa x reader #larissa weems #larissa x you #principal larissa weems x reader #larissa weems x reader #weems x reader #principal weems #anon requested

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asher-agere · 1 month ago

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Uhmmm do you have more caregiver headcanons for Fyodor... If so please do say them. Even if it's only a few more headcanons I'd like to read them because I'm not very normal about him I fear (and my favorite trope is characters who are normally evil and manipulative having to take care of someone and be kind and caring towards them so I love caregiver Fyodor...)

Hi Anon! Thank you so much for this request! I will absolutely try my best! How could I say no to someone asking so politely after all?

Caregiver Fyodor Headcanons

ִֶָ࣪☾. He will be VERY overprotective. Since he’ll only take on a little he’s very emotionally attached to, it means he is fully devoted to his baby! He’s very cautious about them telling anyone about their regression, he doesn’t want them to ever face the pain of rejection. He’s also very quick to do things for them! Need a new coloring page? He’s got it. Want a different plushy? His little one shouldn’t have to move a muscle

ִֶָ࣪☾. He’ll be very possessive with nicknames I think. “My baby” “My little one” “My darling” He’ll always remind the little one that he’s the one taking care of them. Related to this he wouldn’t like having play dates. He’d think that they’re just to much hassle, why bother if his baby is perfectly happy with him?

ִֶָ࣪☾. I think a caregiver headspace would actually be really soothing for Fyodor! He never really gets a chance to settle down and have a family, so being in a headspace where his only concern is the one he’s closest to? It gives him a nice break. Of course he’s still plotting and scheming, this is Fyodor after all, but his little one will be the center of his thoughts

ִֶָ࣪☾. I can imagine him putting his hat on his little one and chuckling at the sight of them wearing it. He’d encourage them to play with the flaps and he’d love getting to hear them giggle and babble as they play with it. Bonus points that it’s so fluffy! I mean what’s not to love?

ִֶָ࣪☾. Fyodor takes buying things to a complete other level. Some caregivers buy things obsessively, buy too much, etc. You’d think there can’t be more buying than that right? Incorrect. If he gets even the slightest hint that his little one likes a certain brand of toy/gear/clothing whatever it is, he’ll buy the entire store. It now belongs to his baby. He’s more than willing to take them there when they’re regressed, and if anyone even gives a slightly wrong look he’ll take care of that person immediately

ִֶָ࣪☾. I think Fyodor is a pretty picky eater on his own, so he wouldn’t exactly be knowledgeable about cooking many things. However the few things he can make, he makes them perfectly! All recipes are absolutely perfected, only the best for his baby of course!

ִֶָ࣪☾. I don’t think Fyodor would be good at choosing “cute” things for his little one. However he’d very good at showing them all the different options and buying them everything they seem interested in! And as I mentioned before maybe the entire store. Just to be safe of course and make sure they have everything they might need

ִֶָ࣪☾. I think his defined accent would get his little one very attached to his voice! It makes them really enjoy story time or lullabies, and Fyodor enjoys the chance to play his cello while singing sometimes! It makes such soothing music, perfect for setting the atmosphere before nap time

ִֶָ࣪☾. Speaking of nap time, that would be his favorite time! He doesn’t need to put in any energy, he just gets to lay there. Plus he gets to snuggle up with his little baby! I mean what’s not to love there? He likes a clingy little, nap time is the clingiest time of all. After all a sleepy baby is usually also a clingy baby!

ִֶָ࣪☾. He would always make time for his little one! If he has a meeting scheduled and they’re regressed he’ll happily take them with him! He’ll bounce them on his lap and give them a coloring book and toys. He’ll cover their eyes/ears if any big kid stuff is happening, gotta keep a happy baby! If they’re not comfortable with that though he’ll absolutely just cancel the meeting. He’s got all the time in the world, his baby is more important

I hope you enjoyed my thoughts on this! I tried my best! I struggle to write for Fyodor a bit, but I like a challenge! It pushes me to understand the characters better! Thank you so much for the request, it really makes my day, I wish you all the bestest day ever!

#age regression #age regressor #agere #safe agere #sfw agere #agere caregiver #agere sfw #bsd #bsd agere #bsd fyodor

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olinblogin · 10 months ago

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Good morning! I woke to lovely piece of yours with a Yan!Mayor & Yan!LBD with a fem reader. It was a wonderful piece that didn't stretch too long but left me feeling very happy due to the lack of Mayor/LBDxReader content there is here & anywhere from what I can see. If it's not too much trouble, may I please request a reader who can actually fight back against the Yan!duo?

Maybe she gained immortality because the women of her family had witnessed the Mayor's & LBD's powers generations ago, thus building the subsequent generations after the first witness (maybe someone who also caught the two's attention but managed to escape thanks to SWK, his "you should have stayed buried" line has cemented into my head) saw what they were capable of & feared their return. Generational training & horror stories ensue. The day of the ritual arrives & Mayor comes to collect Y/N but is shocked to see her resilience against Lady's call & chains. Maybe she [Y/N] uses the chains against him & he ends up bound instead? Same with LBD (not Bai He possessed tho, pls). I really think they'd be shocked & intrigued about reader's strength & ingrained tactical knowledge added to resistance to both of them... Might be very interesting~.😈

Bonus points if Y/N says something like "I see why you use chains, Chief; you look so darling all wrapped up~!" or "That is a lovely song you sing, but I am not one for such melodies, Baigujing." [<-LBD's real name] Imagine the reactions!

Sorry for the long read, I'm just so curious to see your spin on this if you wish to write it. Thank you for reading!

P.S. Did you notice that Baigujing & Bai He have the same three-letter-start, 'Bai'???

I can absolutely do that! I’m ngl this is the longest req I’ve had before! (Not trying to be mean :])

I may or may not have taken a bit of inspiration from Naruto with this one, specifically with a “sharingan” kind of ability :3

—this is relatively short bc I didn’t know what much to do auaughhhh—

PS, the amount of times I’ve had to rewrite this bc I wanted it to be PERFECT…

(WARNINGS; SACRIFICIAL RITUAL, KIDNAPPING, IDK WHAT ELSE TO PUT BUT YEAH YOU GET IT)

Being part of a family that had gained immortality and power was not always the easiest.

All your ancestors were always present, if they hadn’t been killed.

Your family had gained partial immortality; meaning they would not die of age. But if they were, perchance, given a life threatening wound, they wouldn’t survive.

But that just made your family more careful of how they used their immortality. Every day in your extravagant home you would witness the generations before you, still walking, talking.

It would be eerie to most. But to you, it was normal.

Another good thing that came from your family with immortality, is that among the generations power grew, you being the recent generations, it was strongest for you. It wasn’t very well combat-wise; but it allowed you the ability to deflect an attack and mirror it just as it was performed.

Your family never explained how they harnessed this. But listening in as a child to your ancestors at the alter briefly mentioned a name; Baigujing.

Your family soon brought you with all cheers to the alter, they had dolled you up with traditional robes of white, holding incense sticks and sage.

It dawned on you.

Your family made a deal for immortality. A sacrificial deal. You didn’t know what to feel. You couldn’t feel anything. You were kept in the dark for so long and for what, to be sent like a lamb to the slaughter.

You had no choice but to let it happen.

How else would your family progress.

A cool most wafted around you, a feeling of floating. It was like you were weightless. When you opened your eyes, you were standing, met with two people, a man. He wore a shockingly wide grin.

“My lady will be pleased with this sacrifice. How pleasing you are.” He hummed in an unstable voice.

Chains shot from under your feet, making you reel back briefly, before honing your ability to deflect and conquer the chains, sending them the man’s way; watching as they coiled around him like snakes and held him still in front of you.

The chains were strong, stronger than any you’ve seen; they emitted a soft, ghostly glow. Joining your hands under your sleeves, you kept a blank stare. “I see why you use chains, Chief;” you muttered, watching him stiffen. “You look quite lovely being held by them.” He could hear the coo in your voice, it made him wonder how this was a possibility.

But he didn’t have the time for that, unfortunately,

As the Lady Bone Demon seemed to materialize just behind him. “And what seems to be the problem,” there was a slight sneer in her voice before she laid her eyes on you. “Ah, our sacrifice. What a beautiful one, a shame.” She’d spoke calmly, releasing the Mayor from his own chains you deflected onto him.

“Come now dear, there is no use in resisting. You were chosen to be killed in return for their immortality.” The Lady Bone Demon hummed, walking circles around you, as if she were gliding.

She tried to latch onto you with a chain of her own, letting out a shocked gasp when the chain came back her way and clamped around her wrist. “What a lovely song you sing. I’m not one for such Melodie’s, Baigujing.” There was an eerie silence.

“I see you have done your research on the two of us; but still hadn’t known your family would sacrifice you to my will.” She spoke calmly, releasing the chain from herself once more.

“My dear, how do you deflect my chains so simply,” Baigujing said with a hiss, walking towards you; that’s when you realized how tall she truly was.

“It’s something I was taught..” you would simply respond back to her. She did not seem to buy it, however. But accepted that nonetheless.

“We are taking her back with us. We will hold the family’s end of the ritual; but we are keeping her.” There was a semi-shocked “What?!” From the Mayor, before he cleared his throat and corrected himself when the Lady Bone Demon shot a pointed glare his way, it shut him up very quickly.

“Come now, my dear. Or shall we have to take you by force.” YIU could only respond with a glare. This made the Lady Bone Demon turn her nose up with a huff, before she grabbed your face and tucked you close to her body, so you would not be able to get away. “Come now, let’s start anew.”

You reeled back your elbow hit her in the rib, making her groan in disdain. The Mayor immediately leapt into action. No, literally. He leapt on top of you and held you down. Sliding his hands up your neck and into your hair, he roughly yanked it back, which earned a strained groan from you.

“That was a horrible mistake, dear. For that we will have to discipline you. Since you wish to do this the hard way, we will treat you as you’ve chosen.” Her words were eerie,

And for as long as you would fight back, the more they would break you down.

#x reader #x female reader #lego monkie kid #yandere lady bone demon #lady bone demon #yandere mayor #lmk mayor #lady bone demon x reader #mayor x Reader #yan lady bone demon x Reader x YAN mayor #ask box #writing requests #lmk

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bluelolblue · 7 months ago

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Hiiiii! So, if Santino and John got married, what would that be like? What would they both wear? Would they be excited for a big wedding, or would they want it to be small and private? Would it be on the beach, in a church, etc.? What would the color theme be? Obsessed with their love story! 💖

Ahhhh beautiful! I love talking about their wedding and I have some scenarios for it!

Since I was at the beach today and had a great time, it inspired me to write about wedding at the beach :)

Santino loves going to the beach, he has a nice childhood memory of it. It's comforting to him, the overall vibe there. Ever since John learned that about Santino, he takes him to beach whenever Santino wants, to cheer him up, to take his mind off his work or his worries, on little dates, etc. So, the beach is Santino's comfort place.

Their wedding would be more private with only their families (well, Santino's family, Gianna and maybe some of their relatives) and closest friends (like Winston, Charon, Ares...). Santino doesn't want the High Table to be involved in this, so it's supposed to be a secret wedding. Although, in their world, they won't be able to hide that for too long. But yeah, on the beach, surrounded by people who actually care for them.

Now, I'm not an expert at weddings but it would still be very fancy even though it's on a beach. They would even have tables outside for the celebration after the wedding. I think the wedding would start in the afternoon, so let's say still during day and then the sunset would look beautiful and the party and celebration starts around that time and lasts all night.

Okay, they would be dressed absolutely beautiful like they always are. Any suit they have on look amazing on them. Hmm, either both have the black suits, or maybe Santino would have a blue suit, kinda similar to the one he was wearing in the movie at the celebration. But obviously a suit that's for weddings (idk men wedding suits that much but I love to look at them bahaha). Fancy suits. I hope they won't sweat too much in all those layers :P

For example, something like this, there's so many nice suits on Pinterest it was hard to chose even for just an example

Color theme, hmmm probably like... blue- ish, but during night bc of the lights and everything the more, what I like to call, warm colors such as orange. That's mostly bc of the lighting tho, I think the theme would be with blue color. Or there wouldn't be any color theme lmaoo (depends on Santino's mood).

The lights I'm talking about, example:

Oh they would be both nervous. Like, anxious and just "don't screw this up" mindset. But they literally can't screw it up, it's their wedding, they just want everything to be perfect. Especially Santino. And he tries to remain calm, he looks like he has everything under control to everyone, but he can't fool few people. Ares and Gianna can see right through him. He doesn't want John to see him like this, bc John can also read him easily. However, once he's there with John, he forgets about his fears and anxiety and just relaxes and welcomes the new happy feeling he thought he would never be able to experience.

BONUS, Dog is there with a little bow tie looking adorable and being a great support :3

Overall, their wedding is beautiful and emotional. And well, their honeymoon... wild, but full of emotions. Hot steamy night Yk yk :P

Thank you so much for this beautiful ask! Feel free to ask more :] <3

#santino d’antonio #santino d'antonio #john wick #john wick x santino d'antonio #they would have such a nice wedding #the most handsome husbands #i love them sm i can yap abt this a lot #as you can see i love spending time at beach and i cant wait for summer when I'll be going there more often :3

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artisticbunny · 2 years ago

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Alright Bun— bonus ask before I go to sleep because I think I’m getting Whispering Willow brainrot lol (on top of utdr and fnaf rot ough—) Because tbh I sincerely think it’s really well thought out, with the little tidbits I’ve read about. The first chapter of it was cool Yk? I’m gonna guess that you’re new to ao3 writing? :3c am I right?

But, skipping the rambles, Lemme get to what I wanted to say:

Can you pretty please feed give us me Kat lore? Like I love ghosties and everything, especially ones that hang around. Like how does she hang around? We know she got buried alive (must’ve been terrifying seriously my bros buried me in sand once but not my face…) but how does her spirit hang about?

Also, why’d her adventure friends bury her? Was it for a reason or just them being like plain old toxic? I don’t think they’d have to like, bury her tho if it’s the second option… :( maybe it was a sacrifice??

(Thanks for storytelling tho Bun! I’m totally locked in! It’s very interesting so far! <3333)

UWAAAA THAT IS SUCH A HUGE COMPLIMENT THANK YOU!!! Literally I have no idea what’s more flattering than having someone brainrot over something you made!!! I’m so SO glad you like it so far!!!

I AM new to writing on ao3!!! You are correct!!! I actually just made my account about a month or two ago! I actually attempted to post this on a website I made in the past, but 1: it didn’t get any traction and 2: I didn’t like my writing, this is actually the third iteration of this story! I am much more comfortable with my writing now than back then :3

Anywho, on to Kat ;3

Here’s the ref I made for her for visualization’s sake! :D

You may recall on the post where I gave a brief rundown on each of my ocs that Kat was framed for a crime she didn’t commit. Kat was originally a Part of an adventuring group called The Rogues of Justice, though since her death she can’t remember the name of her group or the people involved, or even their faces. The Rogues of Justice were a chaotic good group of jokesters. They were known for helping wherever they could and for their wacky and often nutty solutions that didn’t seem like they would work, but always worked out in the end. They were very close.

On Kat’s final mission, she was framed for a crime that severely broke her team’s moral code. She was made to look like she’d ransacked and destroyed a nearby town. Entire livelihoods and homes were destroyed and burnt. People were severely injured. She was found with valuables from the people of that town hidden on her being, and thus was the one to blame.

Of course, she didn’t actually do this. She would never. She was most likely the one who believed in the moral code the most.

She was set up and doomed to be buried alive by a member of her team. Someone who, once upon a time, she loved dearly. When things didn’t work out between them, in a fit of rage, her ex was the one to have sealed her fate.

He didn’t exactly expect for it to go this far, but he didn’t dare speak up, even as the dirt was being shoveled onto Kat’s face. He stood on the sidelines, watching her last moments.

She woke up days later, memories missing, with only the feeling of once being part of something, a burning feeling of injustice and betrayal, a fuzzy memory of a single face she couldn’t recognize, and a crippling fear of tight spaces that gives her a horrid sense of deja vu. She had no idea where she was or how to leave, stuck in the middle of nowhere with nobody nearby. She had been stuck in those woods, going in circles, unable to escape, losing track of time until the day she would find a way to leave.

So basically what’s keeping her here is unfinished business that she forgot ;)

It’s honestly really really sad, but she copes with humor and distractions most of the time so she doesn’t have to think about her memory gaps and the extreme distaste for that one person she can’t quite remember.

There are quite a few dark themes hidden in the story beyond the found family and fun fantasy settings, sorry haha!

I should also mention that the main reason she sticks around with Brook and the gang is cuz she’s BORED. Like she has been stuck in the woods and these are the first people she’s seen in GOD knows how long and they’re on a quest??? That’s some high quality entertainment there!!! She also gets pretty attached pretty quickly because again: human interaction!!!! And they helped her get out!!!! It’s honestly the least she can do while having hundreds of thousands of years ahead of her of existing.

Fun fact!!! Ghosts are basically the magic sparks of people who refuse to return back to the cycle just yet for whatever reason. They can last a REALLY long time but eventually they will get re-absorbed back into the cycle as everything continues on. :)

#bun did a draw #bun rambles #kat whispering willow #whispering willow book #I’m sorry for any grammatical errors or spelling mistakes or anything I’m typing this before bed so I’m a bit tired hehe #also Moog i want you to know I’m reading all ur tags on the reblogs and every time I do I get all giddy #laying on my bed and kicking my legs like a schoolgirl <3 #i should also mention that these refs are a year old now- I made them for art fight last year #i think they hold up pretty well tho :)#long post

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doctorofmagic · 3 years ago

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My thoughts on What If... Doctor Strange Lost His Heart Instead of His Hands?

The very title of the episode sends a shiver down my spine. And this is where we’re going to start.

~ long post under the cut ~

A year ago, I wrote this post as an attemp to dive into one of the most important traits in Doctor Strange’s personality: love. Stephen is a being made of love, made to love, no matter which interpretation you have when you watch Infinity War. If you don’t read comic books, you’ll understand the moment you meet Donna. You’ll begin to understand how her death reshaped his entire subjectivity out of fear of failing, being powerless and unable to control everything around him (especially death), thus the arrogant and yet a disaster of a man we all know.

Where do I even start? Stephen loved her sister deeply and felt responsible for her death. And then, slowly, he also lost his parents and his brother. He fell in love with Clea but he also pushed her away. He loved Zelma platonically and lied to her, which was enough for them to break their bond. He felt attracted to Kanna but screwed things up, even though they remain friends. He was forced to kill the Ancient One, the only father figure he had ever since his father died. And lastly, the only person who would never leave his side... also left. Yes, even Wong. Stephen has SO much love to give but he’s also afraid because he’s cursed. He truly believes his love in poison. And would you look at that? What If really delivered a story where this is actually true.

What If Doctor Strange Lost His Heart Instead of His Hands?

The level of understanding when it comes to the character is... inconceivable. What could possibly reshape Stephen into following a dark path but love? The very premise of the whole episode. This is so much more than a love letter. This is literally too much, in all senses.

Fine, let’s begin.

What if the best of intentions has very strange consequences?

No. You used the word “strange” for the pun but this is not the word. Nah-ah. I’d go with ATROCIOUS, for starters. Things are gonna escalate so quickly, my friends.

Seriously, tho? Christine is SO SO SO SO beautiful, they’re so cute together. I have this feeling that MCU!Stephen was quite toxic because of his arrogance and this is why they didn’t work out. But WhatIf!Stephen???????? He’s always praising her, teasing her in a healthy way, respecting her and listening to her. HE TRULY LOVES HER, I’M GONNA CRY ALL OVER AGAIN, PLEASE, NOT THE CRÈME BRÛLÉE, PLEASE

I’m going to leave this shot here because we need to go back to it later. Hold that thought.

And bonus points to “Yeah, well, I would call that quite remarkable.” / “Well, I would say the same about you.”

GODS. THE PAIN. STOP THE PAIN.

So in this reality, Stephen didn’t caused the car accident because he was checking his phone while driving. Also it was not the reckless attempt to pass the truck. Well, maybe it was the consequence of this act? The fact is, the car behind them loses control, which makes them crash. Does it matter? We’ll learn later that no, it doesn’t.

And yep... Christine dies. Have you noticed the shattered heart? Ah, the pain only gets better and better.

Again, Stephen blames himself. More than anything, this is so important because Stephen is all about guilt. We still need to meet Donna so we can add yet another layer of guilt. But the feeling exists. This is what corrupts Stephen’s heart and soul in all his iterations. This is what makes him the character I love so much. I love this SO. MUCH. In addition, his stubbornness to accept his condition. Man won’t take a no. This, this is Doctor Strange in character. Stop complaining about NWH Stephen, it’s pathetic.

Okay, “grief-stricken”, Stephen found the Mystic Arts and became a sorcerer. That’s when he learned about the Time Stone, the Eye of Agamotto and Dormammu. Nothing changes, he saves the universe. But time does not heal his deepest wound.

I love Wong so much. Every time Wong does something, the world is healed. Really. We’re going back to him as well but for now I’ll just leave this shot.

BUT STEPHEN, DOING SOMETHING RECKLESS? HE’D NEVAH

Aaaaaaaannnnnnd then he did.

He goes back in time. It’s been two years since he lost Christine. I think he reacted pretty nicely, despite the circumstances. Now let’s go back to that shot I said I was saving for later.

Stephen is so light-hearted here. Also, during the first time he lost Christine, he had no idea what “The Price is Right” was. He knows now, which means he probably tried to learn more about the show because of her, because of grief. HAHAHA MORE PAIN

AND THEN HE

AND THEN SHE DIES AGAIN

AND THEN HE KEEPS GOING BACK IN TIME

AND SHE KEEPS DYING

AND THE MUSIC

AND HIS VOICE

AND HE TRIES TO CHANGE FATE BUT IT CAN’T BE AVERTED

HE EVEN TRIES TO STAY AWAY FROM HER LIFE BUT SHE DIES ALL THE SAME, WHY

AND EVERY TIME THEY CRASH, HE FEELS THE PHYSICAL AND EMOTIONAL PAIN AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN, WHY

I’M-- *ugly sobbing noises*

Apparently, not.

And this scene when he simply... closes his eyes before she dies again...?

This is where this episode had me in endless tears. It got me the four times I watched it. I’m dead serious.

Okay, so, next the Ancient One appears to Stephen, explaining that Christine’s death is an Absolute Point in time. It cannot be changed. Stephen needs the accident to become the Sorcerer Supreme and defeat Dormammu.

And this is where Stephen starts his journey into darkness. “Nothing is impossible, you taught me that. I only require more power.” Disobeying the Ancient One, Stephen then travels in time, seeking the Library of Cagliostro. Now, if you’re not aware of that, Cagliostro was a sorcerer who studied time in comics, and later became Sise-Neg (there’s a recent post on this because of the new Defenders run). It’s funny to think that Sise-Neg also destroyed the world when he became a god, however he grew past his pettiness and remade reality. Stephen did not possess such power, as we’re about to see.

PS: “Stop torturing yourself, Stephen.” Naur but he should use this line like a mantra. Especially comics!Stephen.

Not gonna lie, tho. This place reminds me of the Temple of the Vishanti from T&T (of course I was going to insert T&T somewhere, it’s me).

And of course they’d go for a pun with his name haha. I don’t know how to feel about this, tho. I feel like the episode is too heavy and dark for comedy. But it is what it is.

Okay but why some books are in cages??????????? And wow, it seems Cagliostro also gathered knowledge about several fields of magic.

And then Stephen learns that, in order to break an Absolute Point, he needs to absorb more power. This is when I went “oh-oh, here we go”.

And for real, is this Shuma-Gorath? Why are they keeping his name a secret? Is this the same creature from the first episode with Captain Carter, right? RIGHT? It has to be Shuma-Gorath.

Of course he tries to be polite and ends up all hurt haha. O’Bengh warns him about love but he will not listen. “Love can break more than your heart. It can shatter your mind.”/ “Is she worth the pain?”. Please, this is Stephen. He eats pain for breakfast.

Also, also, let’s take a break. We’re finally going to get monsterf0cker tentacle-lover Stephen Strange. It will cost us everything but here we goooooooooooo (yes, I went frame by frame for your more obscure fanservice needs)

Gods, I love this sequence so much it hurts. Okay, here we go.

Shmebulock???????????

AND HE STOLE THE CAPE??????????? AND DREW THE LINE ON BUGS??????

The grasp this man is holding on me right now...

Some of you will understand. I’m with you.

And here are the grostesque ones. These are hard to take SS but I had to.

Animation, sound effects, OST? CHEF’S KISS TO ALL

And lastly... the tentacles. Yeah, if you’re new... this is a thing.

Fanservice. Fanservice everywhere. (low-key the reason I also waited to write this review, I wanted to enjoy this part so badly but I was too sad for that lmao)

Okay so. O’Bengh is suddenly OLD and DYING, until we realize that Stephen spent CENTURIES absorbing mystic beings. CENTURIES. WTF STEPHEN. He had nothing in mind but the goal to save Christine. And people wonder why he went insane???? I’m sorry, O’Bengh, but I can’t take you serious when you still call Stephen Sorcerer Armani. Oh, and also because you watched him absorb beings for centuries in silence lmao. But I guess I have to because you said that Stephen is split in two since the Ancient One cast a spell on him, splitting the timelines and making them exist in the same reality before he could travel back in time. I know, it’s complex. Anything for the plot.

And now good!Stephen has an evil!twin who wants to absorb him back in order to become whole and break the Absolute Point. Cool.

I said I wanted to talk more about Wong because I think people are not talking about him enough. Wong is so important in this episode. He’s the one who’s trying to heal Stephen after Christine. He’s Stephen’s anchor.

Also, THEY FINALLY USED A SPELL WITH THE NAME OF THE VISHANTI. HOORAAAAY

So, for the sake of our understanding, I’m addressing the characters as evil and good!Stephen. Let’s go. Evil!Stephen summons good!Stephen and gods, he still holds such a strong grasp on me... unbelievable. THE DEEPER VOICE BENEDICT USES???? PLEASE, DIDN’T WE HAVE ENOUGH?

Imagine his strength to hold so many beings inside him, fighting to control him. BRO, THIS IS TOO TOO MUCH

Fine, I’ll not post SS about the fight because I’d be here all night long but I WILL say this: NOT CLOAKIE!!!!! NAAAAAAAAAAUR

Also if you ask me if I recognize any of the spells? Maaaaybe the Flames of Faltine, the not-so-crimson Bands of Cyttorak and a little trick Magik does with her portals. That’s how far I go.

I’ll not comment on the “seducing yourself to stay in the trap”. I will not. I’ll just say that the first person Stephen thought of when “Christine” was talking about the crème brûlée was Wong. That’s it.

And finally evil!Stephen absorbs good!Stephen and releases... UNLIMITED POWER (I love when the stone goes red as if it was bleeding aaaaaaa)

I can fix him...

This scene here? Poetic cinema. (I love his wings so much)

And when Stephen says her name and the other monsters’ voices echo “Christine”, AAAAAACKKKK

AND OF COURSE CHRISTINE WOULD FREAK OUT, BRO. LOOK AT WHAT YOU’VE BECOME BECAUSE OF YOUR TWISTED LOVE. I’M NOT DOING FINE.

Oh, but it’s too late anyways because Stephen broke reality haha. This scene is interesting because Stephen is the only one who sensed and/or talked to the Watcher until now. I read an interview that the Watcher kinda showed up but it’s also about Stephen’s keen senses. Bit of both, let’s say. Still, man, 616-Watcher is not that cold. 616-Watcher would watch this and say “how about I intervene anyway?”. WhatIf!Watcher is brutal.

The way Christine looks at Stephen one last time also KILLS ME, DESTROYS ME, BREAK ME INTO A MILLION PIECES.

And this is where my soul left my body.

This is how they end the episode. This is how you leave me speechless and with teary eyes. This is how you give me a whole existential crisis.

This... this was brutal to watch. Really.

What can I say after this? I’m used to reading painful things when it comes to Stephen. Aaron’s and Cates’ runs are heartbreaking on so many levels. Hickman’s New Avengers is not easier. Coincidentally, What If? Magik Became Sorcerer Supreme and The End. And now Death of Doctor Strange. And yet, after everything I’ve been through, I’d never expect to watch something so brilliant, so tragic, so heartbreaking and unexpected in the MCU. Never. This is top tier content and this is my favorite character with SO MANY LAYERS and SO MUCH UNDERSTANDING. I can’t put into words how meaningful this whole episode is to me, or how deep it touched my heart and soul.

I’ve been struggling to find the proper words since then, I still can’t. All I can add is, I cried for the 4th time now. This is too, too much, even for Stephen stans. Even for the ones who are used to pain, regardless of which media you’re into: comic books, live actions or animated movies. This is literally more than I can take and yet I’m so, so grateful. The voice acting, gods, how did Benedict manage to create a better Stephen than the one he’s literally playing in real life???????????? HOW

This episode really took the max potential Stephen had to offer as a character, added tons and tons of layers based on his grief, depression, arrogance and need to control everything and created a tragic masterpiece. In 7 years of being a Doctor Strange fan, I've never read or watch something that could go this deep into the character. The closest I can think of is Mr. Misery and the metaphor of Stephen's depression. This is a whole new level of respect and understanding. This is more than a love letter. This is peak maestry. It’s perfect, it’s heartbreaking, it’s... gods, I can’t.

Sorry for dragging you until this far. Before I wrap up this review, I just wanted to remind you all that Stephen will appear again, he will smile again, he will be surrounded by people again. So this is not the end. It was painful but be brave. We still have a few more steps to take.

#what if...?#doctor strange #stephen strange #what if doctor strange lost his heart instead of his hands?#wong #christine palmer #the ancient one #long post #review #he did nothing wrong #so what? he destroyed a whole universe #/j #benedict cumberbatch

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puppy-phum · 3 years ago

Text

#10YearPromise - pingxie blabberings

bc i wasn’t able to answer these questions throughout the week (as i’ve been traveling around while being extremely busy), i decided to just collect all of my answers under one post! i never tire talking about pingxie so this was extremely enjoyable ♥ am also practicing some very shameless self promo in this so be prepared!

thank you for @laireshi for organizing this event (i take it’s you alone? am not sure, sorry for my laziness) and being amazing in general ^^ i won’t be able to join as i am still very busy and summer is always pure chaos for me, so i can only hope that other ppl have fun! if you are not aware of 10 Year Promise Pingxie Exchange, you can find the original announcement post here. join in if you have the time and inspiration ^^

and then to my answers which i will be placing under the cut bc i don’t want to flood anyone’s dash with me going bonkers over these two idiots. enjoy tho if you decide to read this :’D ♥

I. What made you ship pingxie?

Back when I got into Reboot bc of ZYL (as has happened to many ppl probably) and then saw stuff about pingxie once I started going through that drama’s tag on tumblr, my first thought about them was that they had to be a crack ship. The way Reboot portrays them as well as their actors and their huuuge age difference affected this a lot, and I was actually cackling at them bc all their moments in Reboot made me just go “oh, socialist brotherhood at its best” in my head. But then I finished watching Reboot’s 1st season (as the 2nd one wasn’t out yet) and started reading some fics. I learned more about them and the canon storyline. I learned how damn devoted they are to each other, and after that, many moments in Reboot gained new meaning in my eyes. So, I think what made me ship pingxie was a mix of Reboot (especially the hallucination moment where Xiaoge dies and Wu Xie loses it bc that’s my jam as I later on became to notice) and then the amazing fics I dug out during that time. After that the love grew stronger as I watched the other dramas, and these days I’m a lost cause. I feel like I spend most of my awake time thinking about these two and their love. They are amazing. I cry rivers for them.

II. Which pingxie version is your favorite?

After finding pingxie, I fell in love with them properly during TLT2. There is just something about that stage of their relationship for me, the stage where both of them are still very tentative about everything but they have deep down accepted that they’re tied now. Wu Xie is figuring out so many things, coming to terms with being betrayed by his uncle and slowly realizing that something bigger is going on behind the scenes. Meanwhile, Xiaoge is learning how to trust Wu Xie and how to accept that he cannot leave this naïve boy behind. It feels very fragile, and I have so many emotions about TLT2 bc of this. Xiaoge is so soft and feels very multilayered. Wu Xie is still his naïve self but is slowly gaining some sharper edges as he comes to face the cruel world. I like how Cheng Yi and Hou Minghao have portrayed this dynamic. Also, TLT2 is just very extra with all the pingxie scenes, who would be able to resist loving them? So, I have to admit that my favorite pingxie is these two, tho Ultimate Note comes very, very close.

III. What’s your favorite pingxie headcanon?

Headcanons are a bit hard for me as I don’t know enough of the canon. I have not read the novels so most of the story I’ve just patched together from all the bits I’ve read from somewhere (here, on twt, in fics) and through the scenes the dramas have shown me. I feel like the whole world is lowkey made of headcanons for me :’D But hmm, my favorite pingxie headcanon… I’d say there are two and then one bonus bc it’s more a Wu Xie related headcanon than just pingxie. The first one is that the pingxie confession happens after the Bronze Gate. It feels like the only moment when they’re both ready for such a thing. I’d say Xiaoge comes to realize his own feelings a lot earlier and he might tell something to unconscious Wu Xie before leaving for ten years, but he will not actually leave Wu Xie with such a burden. He doesn’t want to ask anything when it sounds like he doesn’t even believe that Wu Xie will be willing to wait for him, and I’d say that for him, his feelings are going to be fine even if Wu Xie never learns about them. He might even wish that Wu Xie never learns about them bc he’s not able to promise much as an immortal and amnesiac being (he outlives Wu Xie, most likely forgets him). For Wu Xie however, I’d say he needs time. He really is way too naïve and I’d say that he needs those ten years to realize that he’s in love with his best friend. I dunno who confesses first after Xiaoge returns but I think that only after that decade their relationship is “mature” enough to hold the weight of a confession (even if I also love to play around with the thought of them getting together during the events of Ultimate Note bc that drama offered many good chances for that). Another headcanon for me is that Xiaoge will find a way to die when Wu Xie does. After learning about them more, I feel like Reboot implies this too. Xiaoge is very accepting of Wu Xie’s death but in the last moments, when he really thinks that this is going to be it for Wu Xie, he hesitates. We see a spark of desperation there, and I’ve come to think that his initial plan, the plan he came up with once he got that call from Wu Xie and knew he would join Wu Xie on his last adventure, was to see this through for Wu Xie’s sake and then leave and die alone. I don’t know how much there would be left for Zhang Qiling after Wu Xie is gone. I feel like this is also what Wu Xie fears. But would he really resent Xiaoge for joining him in death after living such a long and hard life? I’d say no and I’d say that even Pangzi accepts this as one of the most likely outcomes. The bonus one then feels very personal to me. I don’t usually talk about this bc I feel so unsure of even mentioning this but I’ve seen others with similar thoughts so am sharing! I’ve never before gotten any vibes about a character’s sexuality in a drama I’ve watched but Reboot Wu Xie looked at me once in the eye and all I could hear was my brain yelling “asexual”. So, that is just my personal headcanon for Wu Xie. He’s ace and proud of it. He can flirt etc. but sex makes him go naah. He doesn’t need it or want it. He can appreciate beauty and hot ppl without wanting to sleep with them and I think his relationship with Xiaoge fits very well into this. I don’t have any personal experiences with being ace but I feel like Wu Xie has read the name once, shrugged and gone, “guess that’s me” and continued on with his life. He’s badass like that and I love him for it. (take a very relevant meme lol from this post)

IV. What’s the ideal pingxie date?

Ah, christ. I dunno if I’ve ever thought about them going on a date? In the middle of tomb raiding, hospital trips and fighting against powers bigger than themselves, I’ve rarely seen any time for them to do something like that lol. But after Ultimate Note, I’ve thought about star gazing a lot. Just them, the infinite night sky and some lonely hilltop. They would probably take a blanket with them, huddle together and talk about things in hushed voices. Wu Xie would go on a ramble about all the constellations and their meanings and mythology behind them and Xiaoge would just nod at him and watch Wu Xie talking. Maybe he would offer some tidbits in the middle of the rambling, making Wu Xie smile brightly. It would be relaxing and comfortable and loving. They would make out a lil bit. Would maybe lie down and play with each other’s hair. All their worries would feel insignificant. Wu Xie would fall asleep for a moment and Xiaoge would wake him up with a kiss to get him moving again so that they don’t need to sleep on the cold ground. They would return home and drink something warm and then go to sleep, cuddled together and happy. relevant edit x

V. What’s your favorite pingxie getting together scenario?

I guess I already talked about this a bit but let me elaborate then! As said, I’d see it happening after the Bronze Gate. I am not sure if it would be right away (they’re both going through so much trauma at that point) or if it would happen after Reboot (maybe we would still need Wu Xie almost dying for them to get their shit together), but I’d say it happens in a rush either way. It’s one of those “I have to tell you something before it’s too late” -type of moments. Or one of those “Bc I love you, you idiot!” -type of moments. I feel like I keep thinking that maybe Wu Xie would have to confess first bc as said, Xiaoge wouldn’t like to burden Wu Xie with his feelings when there’s so little he can give in the sense of normalcy. But then again, I have written a oneshot where Xiaoge is the first one to confess and that always feels better for me. That at some point Xiaoge feels secure enough to tell Wu Xie about his own feelings. That he feels confident and comfortable enough to say it out loud while still expecting nothing in return bc he knows that Wu Xie won’t abandon him either way. But no matter how that happens, I always see it as this dam breaking. The emotions finally become too strong. Something happens that reminds them that life is too short. Something happens that makes them finally talk it out and ah, Pangzi can finally take a break, what a joy

VI. What’s your favorite pingxie moment?

Every adaptation has its own good moments so let me make a list (like I saw someone else do too):

The Lost Tomb:

Xiaoge rescues Wu Xie from the shibie

Wu Xie worrying over unconscious Xiaoge plus taking care of him in the hotel room

The Pingxie MomentTM aka Xiaoge saving Wu Xie from falling and then cradling the boy to his chest while thumb rubbing his shoulder

The Lost Tomb 2:

Xiaoge revealed to be Baldie and Wu Xie yelling at him about it

Lowkey the whole underwater tomb arc bc holy shit that’s gay

Wu Xie losing it when Xiaoge doesn’t come up from the underwater tomb, diving after him and then almost dying himself + Pangzi getting angry at him for being stupid

pingxie ft. magical skype in the bronze tree cave (and Xiaoge being emo about the 1000yo warrior guy right before that)

Xiaoge rescuing Wu Xie from drowning (they shared air, you cannot convince me otherwise) + Wu Xie giving Xiaoge his watch in the hospital (relevant edits x x)

Wu Xie’s face when he sees Zhang Buxun in the coffin bc I love pain :)

Xiaoge not shooting Wu Xie despite not remembering him in the mountain village

Wu Xie grabbing Xiaoge’s jacket after being kidnapped and the Iron Triangle reunites in that old Chen guy’s cabin, asking, “Is that you?” from Xiaoge to make sure that he remembers again while looking like the biggest puppy (relevant edit x)

also some relevant memes x

Ultimate Note:

The hand over mouth reunion in the Golmud Sanatorium

“Xiaoge will ignore anyone else but you”

Xiaoge pretending he isn’t Losing ItTM throughout the whole time Wu Xie is in the Devil’s City with A-Ning

more hand over mouth with the gigantic snake

“The goddess has ascended”

Wu Xie protecting Xiaoge after he returns from the jade meteorite

“Do you remember me?” “Wu Xie.”

Wu Xie promising to help Xiaoge find his memories no matter what bc Xiaoge’s business is Wu Xie’s business

“Maybe you can return home with a wife today.” Wu Xie: proceeds to stare at Xiaoge, horrified

“Take me home.”

The sword gifting scene (especially Xiaoge denying the possibility of him killing Wu Xie or them harming each other, relevant edits x x)

other relevant edits for ultimate note x x

Reboot:

Wu Xie telling Xiaoge about his sickness and then Xiaoge coming back and promising to join Wu Xie on his trip (relevant edit x)

the death hallucination bc am a masochist

Wu Xie’s death dream where Xiaoge calls to him but then accepts his choice to move forward bc am a masochist pt. 2

pingxie reunion in the Thunder City forest where Xiaoge saves Wu Xie & co. from the poisonous gas

the moment in Thunder City where Wu Xie sits outside at night, eating the peanuts Pangzi gave him and then notices Xiaoge, offering him the peanuts and smiling

when Xiaoge leaves for the last time and then gets reunited with healed Wu Xie against all odds

the train scene and their softest smiles to each other

Time Raiders:

Wu Xie being the best bean and just wanting to befriend this mysterious man while seeing right under his skin and making Xiaoge baffled and fall in love in approximately 0.5 seconds

Xiaoge, catch! *proceeds to save only Wu Xie when they fall into that shibie horror chamber*

Xiaoge’s desperation to save Wu Xie from the crumbling ground

their death waltz at the end of the movie plus Xiaoge’s sacrifice

+ Sand Sea:

“Don’t you dare call him Xiaoge!”

Wu Xie offering his friends and then himself as comfort to Li Cu when he’s scared while smiling very softly at the memory of Xiaoge

“But isn’t his surname Wu?” Hei Xiazi: You have seen nothing yet, you sweet summer child

Wu Xie talking about Xiaoge’s past in the temple (aka the Tibetan Sea Flower story bc I just adore how pretty they’ve made those scenes)

VII. What is the best gift Wu Xie and Xiaoge could give each other?

I haven’t really thought about this type of stuff either bc we have already seen a ton of gifts being exchanged! I love the watch Wu Xie gives to Xiaoge in TLT2 as mentioned (it’s so silly but also so sweet) and I love it that Wu Xie gifts Xiaoge with a new sword in Ultimate Note. Also, I feel like I can count the food Wu Xie leaves for Xiaoge in Ultimate Note and that one moment where Xiaoge offers his knife for Wu Xie as a “pen”. They would give anything for each other as long as the other asked (which they never do) so I dunno what type of gift would matter the most. As it’s so hard to say, let me talk about one more headcanon that I’ve been thinking about ever since the infamous Bazaar photoshoot for Ultimate Note/XYL & ZSX. So, we see them having matching rings and necklaces in that photoshoot. I think jewelry would be kind of difficult for Xiaoge to wear when he needs to fight, as jewelry could be a hindrance in that type of situation But my brain won’t shut up about “pingxie married!!!” when I ask this question from it. To be honest, I do not see pingxie getting married in the traditional sense. They don’t need something like that after everything they’ve gone through. But I like to play around with the thought of promise rings. Just them exchanging rings for fun, for their own sakes, to have something concrete that reminds them of their promise to each other and of their feelings. Maybe even Xiaoge could wear that ring under his gloves idk. But am a sucker for that thought so my answer to this is then simply: a ring. relevant edits x x

if you read this far, thank you so much! I hope this gave you something and thank you once more for organizing this and allowing everyone to share their love for pingxie ^^ ♥

#10yearpromise #pingxie #dmbj #yes i ramble without any purpose #yes i love them a normal amount :)#thank you for organizing this!!#and sorry for coming at you like this #i hope you don't mind #am wishing you luck with the event!!#and hoping everyone has fun #i hope everything in this post #works like it's supposed to #bc oh boy did i struggle

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megglepie · 4 years ago

Note

All the even numbers

bastard. ily

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

lollipops bc im a slut!

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

smart and creative

6. answered!

8. movies or tv shows?

uhhhh totally depends on my mood/attention span atm

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

dodgeball probably

12. answered!

14. answered!

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

like a queer, legs tucked or thrown over the arm, slouched af

18. ideal weather?

~70 degrees F for warm weather and ~40 degrees F for cold weather

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

notes app hehe

22. role model?

jackie robinson. jk idk but i read a bio abt him in middle school and i thought he was extremely cool

24. favorite crystal?

bold of you to assume i know any crystals by name

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

hhhh i don't like to go outside in the heat so uh sleep. which incidentally is also my favorite cold weather activity

28. five songs to describe you?

ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIVE! also aloys made me an AMAZING playlist which im gonna plug bc i love it so so much

30. places that you find sacred?

the toilet, catching praying to god any time i have a tummyache

32. top five favorite vines?

back at it again

i smell like beef

mother trucker dude

peanut butter baby

shawty i know

bonus: when she touches you

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

this one fuckin radio ad for deep vein thrombosis???

36. answered!

38. lemonade or tea?

arnold palmer

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

straight up not gonna answer this unless someone else asks for it bc there’re too many things to choose from

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

pockets is pockets

44. favorite scent for soap?

yardley’s oatmeal and almond soap but lemon soap of any kind slaps too

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

just undies, if that. clothes...not for sleep

48. answered!

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

idk prolly some shit one of my irls said at some point

52. favorite font?

i don't have like an all-time fave but i do prefer sans serif fonts

54. what did you learn from your first job?

how boring and stupid retail can be

56. favorite tradition?

hmm. opening a gift on christmas eve, it’s so dumb lolol i like it

58. answered! soft of

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

maybe a supernatural/mystery like death note, xxxholic, or erased??

62. seven characters you relate to?

watanuki (xxxholic)

bakugou (bnha)

tsukishima (hq!)

present mic (bnha)

haruhi (ohshc)

64. favorite website from your childhood?

gaiaonline (derogatory)

66. favorite flower(s)?

wisteria and honeysuckle!!!!!

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

grape.....it’s not good

70. left or right handed?

i am right handed haha, not special!

72. worst subject?

for a long time i thought it was math but honestly, if given the resources and time, i’m ok at math. science tho..... fuck that

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

like for a headache?? i used to wait til i was around an 8 before taking medicine but now i just pop acetaminophen like candy. rip my liver

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

fries i guess!

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

LOL neither??? i don't really like coffee but i would drink like 7-11 cappuccino over grocery store sushi i guess

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

ugh. earth tones i guess?? i don't rly love either??

82. pc or console?

im not enough of a gamer to answer this definitively

84. podcasts or talk radio?

podcasts! talk radio would be good if i could find a station that wasn’t sports, politics, or entertainment news??? the only talk radio i’ve ever enjoyed is like, those stations that do stories BUT AGAIN I CAN NEVER FIND THOSE?????

85. fairy tales or mythology?

fairy tales i guess

86. your greatest fear?

probably driving but also drowning ig

87. who would you put before everyone else?

what does this mean??

88. boxes or bags?

what does THIS mean?????

89. nicknames?

meg, meggy, meggy weggy, megglepie, mama meg, motor meg, megs, mug, muggy, moog, mag, mague, meg meg, meggy baby, meggle, megatron

90. favorite app on your phone?

none of them, i hate them all *opens safari*

92. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

literally just my own, my parents, and 911. that’s it

#ask game #holy shit WOW that was a lot #garbageyboyyo #ask #long post

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mysticalmusicwhispers · 4 years ago

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HELLO I'M BACK!! GUESS WHO HAS A TERM BREAK COMING IN A FEW DAYS I'M VERY HAPPY :D this ask is Very Long so i'm going to split it up into a few parts

part 1/2

But honestly, it would probably be something like “I’m going to bring a (dead) chicken to class for show and tell and you two need to act horrified and cause a ruckus because it would be fun and it would scare the other kids :)”. (this is probably bullying, so in an effort to make them slightly better kids, an alternative plot is that a stray cat has been coming to their school and in order to make friends with it, they feed it a whole-ass dead chicken Nyo China got from the butchers and was planning to cook for dinner. The teachers are horrified and confiscate Yao’s backpack for fear of germs and salmonella.)

hhhhhh the first idea is SO FUN my gremlin repressed anger eight year old self would've loved it. the idea of bringing a stinking plastic bag to school, opening it, revealing a dead, fly-infested chicken and then maybe playing a small game of lobbing the chicken around for funsies is both simultaneously horrifying and amazing. however the second idea is also amazing, one of my previous schools had stray cats and staff and students would feed and pet them (and i miss it :( ) and it was the Best feeling... or maybe they could do BOTH? but this time they're planning to bring a dead chicken to feed the cat (aw, even if yao probably gets detention. also a lecture from nyo china on what exactly you should feed a cat, including why you shouldn't steal the chicken she bought to feed it.) and the next time they can bring like. a bunch of dead flies to show their classmates but in a not bully way. i went once to this family friend's house in a part of the countryside that had an abundance of flies. (i literally haven't thought of this in years i'm remembering so many childhood things because of this omg) they had this paper covered with glue that the flies would land on and then be stuck on the paper. it was both disgusting and amazing to watch a black mass of bulbous bodies straining with their legs (which were probably thinner than my hair) to escape the paper. i also think that indchuran, being both little sadists in the making and having an abudnace of fascination like many children, would take great delight in watching an unsuspecting fly landing on the glue, watch it still, glancing around eerily similarly to when humans realise they have gotten themselves in a bad situation, and then start struggling with all their might to get out. but fuck the flies tho they landed on our food all the time there and it sucked. they can die :)

THE PROBELM is... how will they get that many flies in what i assume would be a gentrified ass area with frequent fumigation efforts given that nyo china would not accept anything than the best elementary education for her ward?? (i have a solution) maybe indus has friends in the countryside and she goes with aditya to visit them. and while they are talking aditya wanders about and discovers a few pieces of paper filled with flies. because he is a gremlin, he is Fascinated with these pieces of paper, and he takes one out to Further Examine. all the adults yell at him, but he is Fascinated and will not be stopped. and then a Thought occurs to him: who would probably enjoy this as much as he would? duh, his friends of course! good things must be Shared even if they're kind of disgusting! so what he does is he gets a disposable plastic tupperware like container, very gently places the fly paper into it, pokes a few holes for air, sprinkles some sugar because he thinks that'll keep them alive, and wraps most of it up in duct tape he found so indus can't see it. unfortunately most of the flies died on the way home because the container was stuffed into aditya's bag and the paper slid to the side + there wasn't enough air, BUT the dead flies are still a Sight to behold when he visits iran's house (which yao is /coincidentally/ visiting) to show them. then he brings it to school after the weekend, and everyone is Fascinated and thinks it is Very Cool, at least until the teachers see it and start screaming. they throw it away but indchuran get an Idea to put dead flies into the bags of people they hate (this is now just bullying) so that opens up a very few interesting weeks of attempts to collect flies in a fumigated city and Horror for the school. fun times for all!

😔 finding and reading that encyclopedia is probably one of my formative memories now and i wish it wasn't 😔 i bet yao during his teenage years would look back on it and be like "... oh my GOD." but i think he would appreciate her directness even if he didn't absorb all the information correctly or remember most of it lmao because it seems like only a very small percentage of the world has actually good sex ed and i don't think indchuran's school would be an exception. at least nyo china like you said instilled a good sense of consent with them 😔 also the idea of saying fuck in mandarin makes me break out in hives the AUDACITY of saying fuck in your first language but of course he would. he WOULD. nyo china probably wouldn't even have purposely taught him that which is why he doesn't know what it means, just that it's an insult, but once they come up to her to complain all she does is give them a Terrifying Contemptuous Glare and steer yao away from them. yao is her kid and therefore entitled to say fuck whenever he wants.

First things first I hope you had a good term break! this is... very overdue sorry about that :(

Second, ALSK:FJ:SLFDKSFDLKJSLDF the fly infested chicken is disgusting and I want so badly to intervene,,, they need hELP. Please learn about proper sanitation, children, I’m begging you T-T. Also, headcanon accepted: they’re ostensibly bringing it to feed the cats (which is hopefully allowed) but also they want to terrorize (or awe) their fellow classmates with this discovery. Watch the school call up nyo china about this, but she gets annoyed only because yao wasted human food in order to feed cats, not because he brought an inappropriately dead chicken to school that scared the younger kids and fellow classmates lol; what a great value system. Also this scenario def happened: School: your child got in a fight. Nyo China: Oh no! Did he win?

I am both fully revolted and half fascinated by the flypaper thing because on one hand I CANNOT stand flies, and killing them is 178% gross. But also the way you described it is... very compelling and I would like to experience that, gross as it is lol. So yea I can definitely see those three nastily observing the flies getting stuck to the flypaper one by one... they all intently watch the flypaper with round and curious eyes and it really looks very cute from far away, three heads of fluffy hair close together and bent over something, carrying on an animated whispered discussion, until you get closer and see that they’re watching flies on flypaper •—•;; An even more gross scenario would be if one of them accidentally squashes one and they crowd around to see what fly guts look like 😭 bonus points if it happens during school. Also YES to Indus’s countryside friend; I feel like India would have a lot of fun exploring over there and would be able to bring back v cool stories for city slicker Yao, and also Iran (although I don’t know where they’d live precisely. I feel like they’d probably have a medium sized house with very nice art and Classy furniture (they got good taste from somewhere), but they’d also knows a lot about how rural areas work and stuff, so uh.. suburbs? Or something like that?)

“then he brings it to school after the weekend, and everyone is Fascinated and thinks it is Very Cool. . .” O—O sigh... three balls of absolute chaos. At least the other kids are fascinated this time instead of apprehensive ^-^ but the dead flies in lockers AL:KDSLFDSJF PLEASE NO me as an elementary student would have been absolutely horrified and I. really hope they get detention for that lol; Please Tone Down kids 😔 (also do y’all get flies in the lights at school? Because every single classroom I’ve been in has either had flies, wasps, moths, or some other black spots in the lights and they’d multiply as the year went on 😭 I never thought about it too much but... what if they linger around to watch the lights get cleaned? o-o)

“i bet yao during his teenage years would look back on it and be like "... oh my GOD."” YEAH there’s always a select few memories that make you realize “what even WAS that” and I think this is one lol. Yao just buries it in the back of his spacious mental closet and makes India and Iran swear not to bring it up again but inevitably they do :))))) they find it rather hilarious, actually. Also yes at least Nyo China did a good job in that department!

“also the idea of saying fuck in mandarin makes me break out in hives the AUDACITY of saying fuck in your first language but of course he would” lol I wrote that thinking he'd call someone a 王八* (because it could technically pass as a regular noun o-o. Who knows, maybe he was insulting someone for being slow like a turtle but it got out of hand due to word choice lol) but... the second scenario is quite something... I don't know whether I should laugh or cry. RIP the other parents who just have to fervently hope that disgraceful kid from next door grows out of his foul mouth soon (he never does, just gets better at pretending his language is elegant and not at all dirty XD)

*for non mandarin speakers 王八 is literally a soft shelled turtle, but is actually a pretty big insult in mandarin :)

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la-paritalienne · 4 years ago

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Eve!!!! Need your thoughts about Taylor's album!!!! 💓💓💓💓💓💓

i love getting asked :”(((((( :”))))))) thank uuuuuuuu. let’s get to it. as usual, it’s an almost-first impression (normally i write my basic thoughts during the first listen – yeah i’d started doing it before getting this, you know, just in case – and then i review them w a second one, where i also select my favourite passage). sooo, let’s go

♡♡♡♡

the 1 — such sweet yet heartbreaking lyrics... very soft sound, if it sets the mood for the album im 100 per cent in! This one didn’t stick w me after one listen, but after the second i was like wooow! I love how she says waking up alone ughhh. 8

fave lyrics: persist and resist the temptation to ask you / if one thing had been different / would everything be different today?

cardigan — !!!!!!! the sound has that bittersweet something that gets under your skin and makes you nostalgic for something you can’t even pinpoint. it reminds me of the softest lana, especially in nfr (eg bartender!!). i’m in awe. instant obsession!!!! the ending takes you to another plane of existence – ‘cause i knew everything when i was young... i knew you’d miss me... you’d come back to me. also i’m crying. 10+

[it’s hard to choose bc the whole song reads like poetry but i’m especially obsessed w] giving me your weekends; once in twenty lifetimes; tried to change the ending / peter losing wendy; you drew stars around my scars

the last great american dynasty — storytelling on pointttt and sound, too! telling the story of someone she bought her house from?? the genius jumped out. she paints it like a romantic portrait, mad woman pacing on the shore, but then also gatsbian, the crazy parties, dali... and then takes it back to today w the key lime green dog, idk, iconic. i want to know this woman. this song truly takes you somewhere else, i thought it was a bit repetitive but then the bridge came in and the final vocals plus i had a marvelous time ruining everything, i have to stan! 8+

there goes the maddest woman this town has ever seen / she had a marvelous time ruining everything

exile — ok wow, bon iver’s voice is something else!!!! i was kind of ignorant when it came to him, i admit. his depth and rasp paired with how angelic she sounds... heavenly. sound-wise, but also thematically, this vaguely reminds me of tomorrow never came w lana and sean ono lennon. (one of my fave songs of all time maybe?). the way they enunciate i think i’ve seen this film before is literally a work of art all in itself, not to mention – well i’m mentioning it bc it’s worth it! – the you never gave a warning sign vs the way she goes over it w i gave so many signs. god this makes me feel sooooo sad and like, involved. it’s so beautiful. 10

you’re not my homeland anymore / so what am i defending now?

my tears ricochet — ok wtfffff??? everything about this speaks to my soul. the airy voice, the way she sets the scene... sunlit room, the funeral metaphor, you turned into your worst fears. i didn’t have it in myself to go with grace speaks to me more than anything, but just, everything about the lyrics. truly something else, cursing my name / wishing i stayed gives me chills everytime she says it. the beat that gets more insistent towards the end, with the bridge....... the high notes that then fade..... just wow. 10

and i can go anywhere i want / anywhere i want, just not home / and you can aim for my heart, go for blood / but you would still miss me in your bones / and i still talk to you when i’m screaming at the sky / and when you can’t sleep at night you hear my stolen lullabies

mirrorball — love the lyrics, maybe a bit less the sound? i mean i do love the sound, so far i’m loving how softly produced and coherent this album is, but this one i wouldn’t listen to on repeat and maybe there’s something a bit whiny that i don’t love. powerful meaning tho, and who’d use a mirrorball as a metaphor for feeling like you’re fragile, trying too hard to be a people-pleaser and no one sees the real you? 7

i’m still trying everything to keep you looking at me

seven — ah........ i started crying as soon as this one started, pleeease picture me in the trees, i hit my peak at seven....... like ok there’s no need to go that hard??? it’s so dreamy and like... naïf? in a perfect way. the way she says i still got love for you...... and everything else... she mentions folk songs... the purest love described in the purest way. i don’t think i have enough words to descrive the way this song moves me. like i want to listen to it again and again, to be able to feel like that again, but also i’m almost scared to listen bc it touches me too deeply. i still will tho hehe. 10+ (also just realised this is track 7 ok makes sense but my mind is blown. 100)

[this is literally deeper than a shakespeare sonnet so everything literally is my fave but, having to choose] and i’ve been meaning to tell you / i think your house is haunted / your dad is always mad and that must be why / and i think you should come live with me / and we can be pirates / then you won’t have to cry / or hide in the closet / and just like a folk song / our love will be passed on

august — i love the contrast between the lighthearted, happy singing and guitars and the sad lyrics. the story it tells is so simple and yet there’s so much poetry in that... plus it reminds me of fearless or even speak now?? which are like. the taylor that gets to my heart, tbh. the bridge and the outro made the song for me. 8,5

for me, it was enough / to live for the hope of it all / canceled plans just in case you’d call

this is me trying — oh god... lyrically this song is so raw and honest, it gives me chills! i do have to say, i don’t love how she says i just wanted to know (like metrically?? idk, im weird) but these are really just small comments on amazing songs, bc i feel like all i’m saying is wow this is great, lyrics and sound, but it truly is a complete and consistent work of art, easily listened to top to bottom each time. 8-

they told me all of my cages were mental / so got wasted like all my potential / and my words shoot to kill when i’m mad / i have a lot of regrets about that

illicit affairs — ok this goes without saying but i love storyteller taylor, it’s the taylor i grew up loving and singing to in my room. the thing about most of these songs, this one included, is that they probably grow on you after a few listens, bc they’re not made to be catchy, the production and backgrounds are always very soft and some i love more than others. this one musically maybe isn’t my fave but the narration is on point, and the bridge?? the fuckkkk. plus it has one of mt favourite themes ever which is so rarely spoken about, which is the fact that language you only speak w a particular someone you love, makes you miss them even more when they’re gone. or well not exactly this but i can’t put it into words, she did tho. 8+

you taught me a secret language i can’t speak with anyone else / and you know damn well / for you, i would ruin myself / a million little times

invisible string — the color theme!!! the guitar strumming!!! and the idea of an invisible tie w someone special... i do think she outdid herself w this album. again, not my fave soundwise, maybe slightly whiny when she goes meEeeEee? but, lyrically adorable and moving. 7,5

one single thread of gold / tied me to you

mad woman — maam...... this is iconic shit........ how could she say stuff like this w such a dreamy, breathy voice. musically i get huuuge lana’a nfr vibes again (which i mean. goals) but i also adore that lyrically it’s so taylor, no one would say this shit the way she does. adore how she sings to wrap your news around and bonus for women like hunting witches too, i do love me a nod to the fact that some women are so deeply filled w machism that they’re basically men in disguise. 8,5

every time you call me crazy, i get more crazy / what about that? / and when you say i seem angry, i get more angry [isn’t this just womanhood condensed in a few lines]

epiphany — aw! it sounds like a lullaby, maybe it’s slightly ‘boring’ for my taste? meaning i get distracted which is surely a shame bc the words seem beautiful, but it’s so soft i just drift off? but reading the lyrics – for focus hehe – i’m moved. 7+

only twenty minutes to sleep / but you dream of some epiphany / just one single glimpse of relief / to make some sense of what you’ve seen

betty — okay byeeeeeeeeee. this is taylor at her finest! countryyyyyyyy, storytelling, lesbian jdjdfk no yeah I know I knowww, romance went sour. gut wrenching and beautiful, this feels like... watching a sad teen movie but w a sepia filter, idk. i dreamt of you all summer long oh my......... it’s like og taylor from her iconic first couple of albums came back but w all her baggage and growth and experience and better than ever. also why does taylor sing so wel about being in love w a woman????? well. 10+

betty, right now is the last time / i can dream about what happens when / you see my face again

peace — ..........yes yes yes. the high notes, the honesty, the syncopated parts where she says so much so quick and yet it still hits you. it’s not even a short song but it ends too soon, it goes by like that..... a poem. omg it just hit me this has flo vibes! especially from high as hope, for example grace or south london forever?? i mean... taylor doing alt folk country pop...... queen. give you my wild, give you a child?? ok ok. 10

all these people think love’s for show / but i would die for you in secret

hoax — weeeell the lana inspo jumped out w that piano!!!!! and like. mood. and lyrics...... this reminds me of wuthering heights or of lana’s tormented love stories (shades of blue.....). a powerful closer. poetry. 9

i am ash from your fire

♡♡♡♡

okkkkk this was a flattering review, very well deserved imo since the review is mine gjgjhkhk i agree w myself. thank you again and as i always say, feel free to come back w your comments! and have a great dayyyyy! much love

#taylor swift #folklore #also bonus points for the title #fave ever from her #10 #should i tag my reviews #(i think this has now become the tag)

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laemony · 5 years ago

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What I’ve read in 2019!

2017 2018

Hello! Welcome back to the appointment I’m sure every one of you was waiting since last year (heavy sarcasm)! Fasten your seat belts, it’s gonna be a long ride..

THE MASTER AND MARGARITA, Michail Bulgakov - one of the greatest books I’ve ever read, it has become one of my favourites in a few chapters; I loved the characters, out of their minds the lot of them, I loved this Devil, so nice and generous; I mostly loved the completely natural way with which Bulgakov tells absurd facts; a comedy, but much more than that too. 9.5/10

HEART OF A DOG, Michail Bulgakov - I’m in awe at his style, he’s different from other russian authors; it’s problavly the irony, the grotesque characters, the unusual portrait of life in Moscow after the revolution; I don’t know, but I love it; this book was one weird experience, but I wasn’t really surprised. 8.5/10

THE WAVES, Virginia Woolf - is it a dialogue? is it a pure flow of thoughts? sometimes it seems they’re talking to each other, sometimes it seems everyone’s just thinking by themselves, sometimes it seems both and neither; one moment everything is beautiful, the next life is a horrible mess; is it a novel? I don’t know, it all felt like one big poem and I loved every minute of it. 10/10

NORTHANGER ABBEY, Jane Austen - one of the most frustrating books I've ever read, but I really really liked it; the characters are some various degrees of DRAMA and it’s honestly hilarious to watch; for me, it had the bonus of an unexpected final, idk why really, but I thought it would end differently; cute and so aesthetically pleasing as usual. 7/10

THE BOOK OF DISQUIET, Fernando Pessoa - very well written, I love how each sentence is built and the rhytm of it all, but there’s a hopelessness in the background and maybe I was relating overly, but I don’t want to think too much about what this book says. 8/10

THE BELL JAR, Sylvia Plath - I felt angry with every single character and I don’t like feeling so much while I read a book. I liked it tho, even if I honestly don’t know why. It almost feels wrong to like this book. It got me out of the slump I found myself in during summer screaming and kicking, and I can’t forget that. 8/10

FRANKENSTEIN, Mary Shelley - I’m in awe at the fact that she wrote this book when she was 19; it was everything I thought it’d be, and more. I could find no sympathy for the creature, nor for Viktor (he is so stupid); the atmosphere was heavy, dark, and as miserable as every character (except Henry, poor baby boy I love him), it felt absolutely perfect. 9/10

DRACULA, Bram Stoker - where to begin.. the first 12 or so chapters were very, very, slow, and the style was a bit tiring to me, with all those diaries and notes. BUT, except for that and the vague misogyny that comes out at times, IT IS a great book, a great horror. I loved the Count, finally a villain who’s evil just because, and Mina too, when she wasn’t occupied wondering at how amazing men are and how little women deserve them. She’s never the damsel in distress waiting to be saved, she’s almost more the knight in shining armour.. I’ll shut up, I loved it. 8/10

MADAME BOVARY, Gustave Flaubert - I thought only Wuthering Heights could have had characters so unbearable, but turns out I was wrong. There isn’t a single good person in this book, everyone is either an asshole or a hopeless idiot.. it’s a tragedy, it actually reminded me of Shakespeare, in a sense; everything could be easily solved if people would just talk to eachother. I honestly don’t know if I liked it, it had potential but was a bit boring, it mostly made me angry. 6/10

PARADISE LOST, John Milton - I was probabli in the wrong mood for this, it was November after all, and I must say, it bored me to no end. Really, it didn’t leave me anything except a great relief when I read the last words. I liked a lot the parts where the author spoke, I recoiled every time the others had a dialogue (except, maybe, surprisingly or not, for Satan)... growing up as a woman in a christian family does this to one I guess. 5/10

THE BROTHERS KARAMAZOV, Fëdor Dostoevskij - to be honest, I’m posting this without having finished the book, I still have five chapters or so to read, but I don’t have a doubt when I say: I love it. Idk if it’s the AMAZING, INCREDIBLE job the translator(s?) have done but this story goes on so smoothly, not once I felt bored, not once I felt uncomfortable with the style, not once I felt like I wasn’t fully understanding what was going on. It’s so well written that at times I had the impression of being inside the head of the characters, like I was the characters. Idk I haven’t felt like this in a very long time, I knew how he wrote, I’ve read others of his books, but it still caught me by surprise and I can’t say I’m not delighted by it. 10/10

Theatre & Short Stories

THE WINTER’S TALE, William Shakespeare - it was weird, it put me in such an anxious state, at some point I thought everything was going to end in tragedy; my man never cease to surprise me. 8/10

TITUS ANDRONICUS, William Shakespeare - ok..so... I was angry with everyone, I couldn’t feel any sympathy for anyone, except for Lavinia; I honestly don’t know what William was thinking, I don’t know if I should love it or be horrified by it... complete madness it is. 9/10

MEASURE FOR MEASURE, William Shakespeare - let’s say, I’ve always preferred the tragedies, but, as Ju once wisely said, women in Billy’s comedies are simply great; that’s true even in this, Isabella is amazing while everyone else is just.. meh... I can’t shake off the feeling that mr.Duke was bored and decided to cause some useless drama, it’s all very shakesperean. 7/10

THE MASQUE OF THE RED DEATH, Edgar Allan Poe - do you need a short tale to tell at sleepovers? Do you need a horror story for Halloween night? This is perfect. Short, to the point, fast and terrifying.. or maybe that’s just me and my fear of pendulum clocks lol. 7/10

Poetry

Emily Dickinson - at some points it bored me, at some others I had to stop reading to take a few steading breaths; lovely and so powerful. 8/10

Edgar Allan Poe - not a fan of the man himself, but his poetry is just my kind, you know? it’s so full of love and darkness; I love the rhymes, I love the rhythm. idk, I liked it a lot. 8,5/10

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floraone · 5 years ago

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Hi, it's your UsaMamo exchange buddy. Do you have any special requests for your gift? I've read all your stories but am not sure the direction to go on what you'd like to read.

HELLO MY LOVELY GIFTER I AM SO EXCITED! 💋💋💋😊😊😊💋💋🎉

So first of thank you, I love you already, I'm sure anything you'll come up with will be spectacular! (And humbled you read all my fics!!!!!)

But I know it's always nice to have a scaffold of likes so here you have an overwhelming list of things I really love in fic atm. It's so long on purpose tho in the hopes you find something that makes you go ha I like that too! Annyyyway

So in general I am in two big moods: love square (ever since I got into ladybug and since I've seen the POTENTIAL that Tux/Usa/Mamoru/SM had to love square up and now I have a mighty need.)

and canon-y in a way that I want them to definitely have their alter-egos. Meaning it can definitely be AU or canon divergences (love those what ifs!) But no matter what I want them not to be non-senshi AUs at the moment? Their Senshi sides don't have to play a giant role in the fics at all, but I want them to exist!

(As you know I've written my fare share of non-senshi AUs so it's not at all like I don't like them - it's just my current mood on what I am looking for in fic right now!)

☆Sailor Moon and Mamoru / Tux and Usagi dynamics fics. Both pre reveal and post reveal.

☆ Actually ALL FOUR sides pre and/or post reveal I'm not picky here lol

☆ one sided reveals where the person who finds out gets nervous and doesn't tell the other right away instead keeps making hints because they're convinced Mamoru-baka/Odango Atama would never be into them LIKE THAT.

☆Reveals (tho they're hard to get as spectacular as @kasienda does them)

☆ post-reveal pre-relationship fics! That sweet in-between awkwardness we never got because of evil-Endymion and instead a Mamo-chan with his hands in his pockets nervous about what to do NEXT now that Usagi is Sailor Moon and also the princess from his dreams and stuff the next mornings after the reveal.

BUT other than love square I really do have lots of other fanfic dreams lol so here's a big list of things I want in fics so you have tons to inspire you tho of course NOTHING IN THIS POST IS A MUST! In the end I want YOU to enjoy writing it because ultimately that's when it'll be the best!

However. Here it is lol.

☆youma makes a lovespell during S1 (T rated of course here because consent!!! But also of course since the exchange is T rated even tho you know me I'll take sex positive hinting any day lol) Could be a reveal! Could be hilarious!

☆canon break up arc fics where we get more of Mamoru's crying into his pillow POV

☆Mamoru legit went to Harvard during Stars and is writing her and freaking out when he finds out there's been enemies who literally target sailor senshi and she hasn't told him as not to concern him and also Seiya

☆realistic Japanese locations/restaurants/shops or food in my fics. (Like imma be in Tokyo again in late March and early April gimme something I could have visited in time lol!)

☆I love it when they visit each other unannounced at night? Like Tux slipping into Usagi's window at night to come cuddle and fall asleep together and vice versa? Hushed conversations in bed about nothing and everything from conbini snacks they crave to their deepest current fears or concerns for the world?

☆piggyback rides

☆Mamoru's day to day in high school (including asanuma!!!) or university. As a detail (because we never really got to see Mamoru In his school environment outside of like, scarce panels in the Manga and I'm INTERESTED especially ever since Cockpits doujins) orrr...

☆even with Usagi there for whatever reason pre- or postrelationship and pre-or postreveal using the pen to disguise herself as a classmate or student. Think of all the flustered in-school flirting Mamoru would be so confused about and HATE! Bonus sweet if Usagi transforms into a boy - Azabu is an all-boy's school in some canon versions after all?

☆I do really really love the canon-flip fics where it's USAGI with the temporary memory loss and not Mamoru. Like @idesofnovember did.

☆KISSES. breathless kisses, hello kisses, pecks and frantic kisses, secret kisses, heated kisses, forehead kisses, handkisses. you pick.

#fanfic asks #wishlist #fanfic inspiration

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lgbtqareads · 5 years ago

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15 Books I Want To Read That are Releasing in the Next 6 Monthes

Every six monthes, I am excited to see the new LGBTQA+ YA books of the next monthes and while thos December, I was a little weirded out to not find them on B&N Teen previews, I was happy to see that Dahlia Adler posted her lists and opinions at lgbtqreads.com. So, of course I went through and narrowed the list from 72 to 34 to 15, only choosing books that I felt I really wanted to read and not just fall for all the amazing synopses and covers, which let's be honest, are all truly masterpieces.

But enough introduction. Let's get into my to be bought (and read) list of the first six monthes of 2020:

We Used to Be Friends by Amy Spalding - JANUARY 7TH

Goodreads Synopsis: Told in dual timelines—half of the chapters moving forward in time and half moving backward—We Used to Be Friends explores the most traumatic breakup of all: that of childhood besties. At the start of their senior year in high school, James (a girl with a boy’s name) and Kat are inseparable, but by graduation, they’re no longer friends. James prepares to head off to college as she reflects on the dissolution of her friendship with Kat while, in alternating chapters, Kat thinks about being newly in love with her first girlfriend and having a future that feels wide open. Over the course of senior year, Kat wants nothing more than James to continue to be her steady rock, as James worries that everything she believes about love and her future is a lie when her high-school sweetheart parents announce they’re getting a divorce. Funny, honest, and full of heart, We Used to Be Friends tells of the pains of growing up and growing apart.

Dahlia Adler's Synopsis: Relationship breakups may be heavily covered in YA, but friendship breakup stories are still few and far between. Enter the story of James and Kat, two girls who were once beyond close and now watch their friendship unravel as college nears. Things are complicated for both girls: James’s mother has left her and her father for another guy, and she doesn’t know how to talk about it, not even to Kat or her still-too-present ex, Logan. Kat’s discovering that her feelings for her new friend Quinn aren’t strictly “friendly,” and in fact, she’s realizing she’s bisexual and falling head over heels for a girl. It’s a bittersweet story to be sure, and while it definitely has its fun scenes, close moments, painful familial interactions, and tingly romance (what Spalding book doesn’t??), you’ll spend much of the book wishing you could push the characters together and say “Just talk already”…but isn’t that exactly how life goes?

My Opinion: As someone who has been through too many friendship breakups to count, this read is going to be devastating. But I put this book on my list for one reason: the synopsis made it feel so much like life that I couldn't help but feel that the story would pull me into James and Kat's universe and tear my heart into pieces. I absolutely cannot wait to have my heartbroken.

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The Gravity of Us by Phil Stamper - FEBRUARY 4TH

Goodreads Synopsis: As a successful social media journalist with half a million followers, seventeen-year-old Cal is used to sharing his life online. But when his pilot father is selected for a highly publicized NASA mission to Mars, Cal and his family relocate from Brooklyn to Houston and are thrust into a media circus.

Amidst the chaos, Cal meets sensitive and mysterious Leon, another “Astrokid,” and finds himself falling head over heels—fast. As the frenzy around the mission grows, so does their connection. But when secrets about the program are uncovered, Cal must find a way to reveal the truth without hurting the people who have become most important to him.

Expertly capturing the thrill of first love and the self-doubt all teens feel, debut author Phil Stamper is a new talent to watch.

Dahlia Adler's Synopsis: This is a lovely and bighearted debut chock full of space nerdery, big dreams, new beginnings, and social media scandal. Cal’s life is completely uprooted when his dad shocks them all by being chosen for a space mission, something his family had never taken seriously as a lifelong dream. Worst of all, he’s forbidden from documenting life in the new compound, forcing him to leave his massive social media following behind. On the bright side, there’s Leon, son of another astronaut on the program and immediate thief of Cal’s heart. But when things go awry in the program and secrets are revealed, Cal will have to decide exactly what he’s willing to do to get the truth out there, and who he’s willing to lose.

My Opinion: Social Media? Media circus? Texas? NASA? First loves? And a choice that could implode Cal's life from the inside? The name Cal? Other than Texas, a state which I hate, all of this adds up to something good, hopefully so good that I can forget that Texas is involved at all. So, basically, it has to reach Red, White, and Royal Blue levels, which is the only book so far that has made me like Texas at all. But I trust that it will do well. Plus it was reviewed by 4 of authors on my queer bookshelf - Becky Albertalli, Adam Silvera, Shaun David Hutchinson, and Caleb Roehrig. Bonus points for not being a graphic novel like I feared it was.

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Only Mostly Devastated by Sophie Gonzales -MARCH 3RD

Goodreads Synopsis: Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda meets Clueless, inspired by Grease.

When Ollie meets his dream guy, Will, over summer break, he thinks he’s found his Happily Ever After. But once summer’s ended, Will stops texting him back, and Ollie finds himself one prince short of a fairytale ending. To complicate the fairytale further, a family emergency sees Ollie uprooted and enrolled at a new school across the country—Will’s school—where Ollie finds that the sweet, affectionate and comfortably queer guy he knew from summer isn’t the same one attending Collinswood High. This Will is a class clown, closeted—and, to be honest, a bit of a jerk.

Ollie has no intention of pining after a guy who clearly isn’t ready for a relationship. But as Will starts ‘coincidentally’ popping up in every area of Ollie’s life, from music class to the lunch table, Ollie finds his resolve weakening. The last time he gave Will his heart, Will handed it back to him trampled and battered. Ollie would have to be an idiot to trust him with it again.

Right? Right.

Dahlia Adler's Synopsis: Grease goes gay YA in this rom-com about two boys whose dreamy summer fling comes crashing into a harsh reality when our lead, Oliver, transfers to Will’s school thanks to a family crisis-driven move, only to find out Will isn’t Out and isn’t about to be. As Ollie finds his own ways to settle in, he can’t seem to shake Will’s presence. But whether there’s a future for them remains to be seen. This sophomore novel is warmly delightful and delightfully warm, with some tears on the side for the aforementioned family crisis, and some hard-earned queer solidarity is the icing on the cake.

My Opinion: The last musical-ly queer book I read was What If It's Us? so Ollie and Will have a lot to live up to, but it gets points for getting an Instagram shoutout from Becky Albertalli herself. From the synopses, it sounds like a case of strangers to lovers to strangers to maybe friends to maybe something more and hopefully a happy ending, but what I look forward to the most is rewriting Summer Nights as I read this book.

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Super Adjacent by Crystal Cestari - MARCH 17TH

Goodreads Synopsis: Claire has always wanted to work with superheroes, from collecting Warrior Nation cards as a kid to drafting "What to Say to a Hero" speeches in her diary. Now that she's landed a coveted internship with the Chicago branch of Warrior Nation, Claire is ready to prove she belongs, super or not. But complicating plans is the newest WarNat hero, Girl Power (aka Joy), who happens to be egotistical and self-important ... and pretty adorable.

Bridgette, meanwhile, wants out of WarNat. After years of dating the famous Vaporizer (aka Matt), she's sick of playing second, or third, or five-hundredth fiddle to all the people-in-peril in the city of Chicago. Of course, once Bridgette meets Claire-who's clearly in need of a mentor and wingman-giving up WarNat becomes slightly more complicated. It becomes a lot more complicated when Joy, Matt, and the rest of the heroes go missing, leaving only Claire and Bridgette to save the day.

In this fresh and funny take on the world of supers, author Crystal Cestari spotlights what it's like to be the seemingly non-super half of a dynamic duo with banter-filled romance and bold rescues perfect for readers seeking a great escape.

Dahlia Adler's Synopsis: Claire is a superhero fangirl, a card-carrying member of Warrior Nation. And when she finds an unexpected way (with some unexpected help) into winning an internship with the Chicago WarNat branch, it should be everything she’s ever dreamed of. But that unexpected help is proving very difficult to work with; it’s in the form of Girl Power (aka Joy), the newest hero and a pain in Claire’s butt. A very, very cute pain in Claire’s butt. But distraction or no distraction, Claire’s determined to prove herself, especially when she and Bridgette, a WarNat, who’s tired of being “the girlfriend” to an even more famous hero, decides to mentor her and they end up having to be exactly the heroes Chicago needs.

My Opinion: Two words. Super. Heroes.

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Music From Another World by Robin Talley - MARCH 31ST

Goodreads Synopsis: It’s summer 1977 and closeted lesbian Tammy Larson can’t be herself anywhere. Not at her strict Christian high school, not at her conservative Orange County church and certainly not at home, where her ultrareligious aunt relentlessly organizes antigay political campaigns. Tammy’s only outlet is writing secret letters in her diary to gay civil rights activist Harvey Milk…until she’s matched with a real-life pen pal who changes everything.

Sharon Hawkins bonds with Tammy over punk music and carefully shared secrets, and soon their letters become the one place she can be honest. The rest of her life in San Francisco is full of lies. The kind she tells for others—like helping her gay brother hide the truth from their mom—and the kind she tells herself. But as antigay fervor in America reaches a frightening new pitch, Sharon and Tammy must rely on their long-distance friendship to discover their deeply personal truths, what they’ll stand for…and who they’ll rise against.

Dahlia Adler's Synopsis: Talley is one of queer YA’s most prolific genre jumpers, but she seems to be making herself beautifully at home in historical with this follow-up to 2018’s Pulp, again set amid a context of vital queer American history. This time around, it’s 1977, and Tammy Larson would love more than anything to come out of the closet as a lesbian, but that’s a major no-go where she lives. Her only outlet is to write “letters” to the activist Harvey Milk, at least until she’s matched with a pen pal to whom she can write letters for real. Sharon makes for a much better companion than Tammy’s diary, and she can sympathize, given her brother is gay and feeling all the same misery in the wake of Anita Bryant’s leading to a successful repeal of their protections. Together they’ll find their own brand of activism and learn to fight back against a world of hate.

My Opinion: Ever since reading Annie On My Mind by Nancy Garden, I have been craving more historical sapphic girls. With Pulp in my Kindle library and this in my future shopping cart + Casey McQuiston's time traveling book in 2021, I am bound to get a fix for that craving soon. Hopefully, it will also cure heartbreak.

Loveless by Alice Oseman - APRIL 2ND

Goodreads Synopsis: The fourth novel from the phenomenally talented Alice Oseman – one of the most authentic and talked-about voices in contemporary YA.

Georgia feels loveless – in the romantic sense, anyway. She’s eighteen, never been in a relationship, or even had a crush on a single person in her whole life. She thinks she's an anomaly, people call her weird, and she feels a little broken. But she still adores romance – weddings, fan fiction, and happily ever afters. She knows she’ll find her person one day … right?

After a disastrous summer, Georgia is now at university, hundreds of miles from home. She is more determined than ever to find love – and her annoying roommate, Rooney, is a bit of a love expert, so perhaps she can help.

But maybe Georgia just doesn’t feel that way about guys. Or girls. Or anyone at all. Maybe that's okay. Maybe she can find happiness without falling in love. And maybe Rooney is a little more loveless than she first appears.

LOVELESS is a journey of identity, self-acceptance, and finding out how many different types of love there really are. And that no one is really loveless after all.

Dahlia Adler's Synopsis: Oseman’s crossed the pond before with Radio Silence, so this American’s fingers are crossed she’ll do it again with her newest, about a girl named Georgia who’s struggling with the fact that she’s eighteen and has never had so much as a crush. She’s sick of people thinking she’s broken or weird, and it isn’t like she isn’t into romance; she’s just not into it for herself. When she gets to university, she thinks maybe she can “fix” things with her roommate’s help. But what if it turns out there’s nothing to fix, and Georgia’s great and perfectly capable of happiness just as she is?

My Opinion: Alice Oseman has written a-spec characters before, but it's possible that this seemingly aromantic character will be the one that I'll read first. Not to say Radio Silence wasn't amazing, I just wouldn't know. But I can't wait to find out when I read it after I read this one. And then maybe her other books too.

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Verona Comics by Jennifer Dugan - APRIL 21ST

Goodreads Synopsis: Jubilee has it all together. She’s an elite cellist, and when she’s not working in her stepmom’s indie comic shop, she’s prepping for the biggest audition of her life. Ridley is barely holding it together. His parents own the biggest comic-store chain in the country, and Ridley can’t stop disappointing them–that is, when they’re even paying attention. They meet one fateful night at a comic convention prom, and the two can’t help falling for each other. Too bad their parents are at each other’s throats every chance they get, making a relationship between them nearly impossible . . . unless they manage to keep it a secret. Then again, the feud between their families may be the least of their problems. As Ridley’s anxiety spirals, Jubilee tries to help but finds her focus torn between her fast-approaching audition and their intensifying relationship. What if love can’t conquer all? What if each of them needs more than the other can give?

Dahlia Adler's Synopsis: Dugan debuted with one of my absolute favorite queer YA rom-coms (seriously, if you haven’t yet read Hot Dog Girl, do yourself a favor), so I’m thrilled to see her returning with another one, this one an m/f pairing where both halves of the couple are bi (or, more accurately, one is bi and one is still figuring it out). [Jubilee] is an elite cellist with a major audition coming up and a side job working at her stepmom’s indie comic shop. Ridley works at his parents’ comic shop too, only theirs is a big chain, and no friend to the little guy. Which makes it a little difficult when the two meet at a comic-con prom and immediately hit it off, despite their family feud. I’ll take Romeo & Juliet with a much happier ending and heaps of bisexuality any day, wouldn’t you?

My Opinion: Romeo and Juliet retelling + comic convention prom + bisexuality + indie comic shops = a recipe for me to like a book.

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When You Get the Chance by Tom Ryan and Robin Stevenson-MAY 5TH

Goodreads Synopsis: [Edited] Cousins Mark [from the East coast of Canada] and Talia [from the West coast of Canada] go on a road trip to Pride in Toronto as they search for love and adventure and uncover family secrets along the way.

Dahlia Adler's Synopsis: One of the things I’m often asked to recommend is books that feature mlm and wlw solidarity, and I especially love giving answers that show it not just in characters but in authorship. Here, two Canadian rock stars of queer YA come together with a story about cousins named Mark and Talia who are reunited from their respective Canadian coasts after a death in the family and decide to take a road trip together to Toronto so Talia can see her non-binary partner and Mark can get to Pride. The two don’t have much in common, and they’ll have to let Mark’s little sister tag along, but they both know some kind of magic awaits them in TO, and they can’t wait to get there.

My Opinion: There is too much to love about this book. Canada! WLW or WLNB/MLM solidarity! Canadian road trip! Road trips in general! Canadian Pride! PRIDE IN GENERAL! A nonbinary s/o! TORONTO, CANADA! And family secrets! Plus it gives off You Know Me Well vibes, and that's one of my favorites.

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The Extraordinaries by T.J. Klune - MAY 5TH

Goodreads Synopsis:

Some people are extraordinary. Some are just extra.

Nick Bell? Not extraordinary. But being the most popular fanfiction writer in the Extraordinaries fandom is a superpower, right?

After a chance encounter with Shadow Star, Nova City’s mightiest hero (and Nick’s biggest crush), Nick sets out to make himself extraordinary. And he’ll do it with or without the reluctant help of Seth Gray, Nick’s best friend (and maybe the love of his life).

Dahlia Adler's Synopsis: Klune’s doing double duty this year (or maybe even more? Damn, it’s hard to keep up), following up an adult contemporary fantasy with his first entry into YA, about a boy named Nick who happens to be the Extraordinaries fandom’s most popular fanfic writer, and who aims to be even more extraordinary when he meets the hero he’s been crushing on. (But maybe he’s in love with his best friend, Seth? It’s complicated. It’s always complicated.)

My Opinion: What can I say? I'm a sucker for books about fanfic writers. And for best friends to lovers stories, so hopefully this is one, and not a fan-dates-hero story.

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The Summer of Impossibilities by Rachel Allen - MAY 12TH

Goodreads Synopsis: Skyler, Ellie, Scarlett and Amelia Grace are forced to spend the summer at the lake house where their moms became best friends.

One can’t wait. One would rather gnaw off her own arm than hang out with a bunch of strangers just so their moms can drink too much wine and sing Journey two o’clock in the morning. Two are sisters. Three are currently feuding with their mothers.

One almost sets her crush on fire with a flaming marshmallow. Two steal the boat for a midnight joyride that goes horribly, awkwardly wrong. All of them are hiding something.

One falls in love with a boy she thought she despised. Two fall in love with each other. None of them are the same at the end of the summer.

Dahlia Adler's Synopsis: Allen’s been a personal favorite of mine since her subversive feminist debut, 17 First Kisses, and I’m thrilled to see her releasing her first queer YA, which basically looks like a gay Traveling Pants except not all the girls actually wanna be spending the summer together at the lake house where their moms became besties. Most of them can’t even stand their moms right now. All of them have secrets. And two of them…well, two of them are in love with each other, so one way or another it’s gonna be a hell of a summer.

My Opinion: Look, I'm going to be honest, I saw that it was co.pared to Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants and I immediately added it to my list. Plus, strangers to friends to lovers? I love.

Date Me, Bryson Keller! by Kevin van Whye - MAY 19TH

Goodreads Synopsis: What If It's Us meets To All the Boys I've Loved Before in this upbeat and heartfelt boy-meets-boy romance that feels like a modern twist on a '90s rom-com!

Everyone knows about the dare: Each week, Bryson Keller must date someone new--the first person to ask him out on Monday morning. Few think Bryson can do it. He may be the king of Fairvale Academy, but he's never really dated before.

Until a boy asks him out, and everything changes.

Kai Sheridan didn't expect Bryson to say yes. So when Bryson agrees to secretly go out with him, Kai is thrown for a loop. But as the days go by, he discovers there's more to Bryson beneath the surface, and dating him begins to feel less like an act and more like the real thing. Kai knows how the story of a gay boy liking someone straight ends. With his heart on the line, he's awkwardly trying to navigate senior year at school, at home, and in the closet, all while grappling with the fact that this "relationship" will last only five days. After all, Bryson Keller is popular, good-looking, and straight . . . right?

Kevin van Whye delivers an uplifting and poignant coming-out love story that will have readers rooting for these two teens to share their hearts with the world--and with each other.

Dahlia Adler's Synopsis: If this book looks like the cutest, fluffiest, most make-you-melt kind of romance, it’s because it is…at least in the little romantic bubble that ensued when when Kai took advantage of a dare that requires Bryson Keller to agree to date the first person to ask him out every Monday morning for that week. But outside the bubble, the world is still wondering who Bryson Keller’s mystery girlfriend is, the one person not to shout from the rooftops that she’s got the guy. And Kai isn’t gonna be the one to tell them it isn’t a girl at all; his spontaneous request made Bryson the first and only person he’s ever come out to. But when both the answer and Kai himself are forcibly outed, he and the boy he’s come to fall for, the boy who’s only just realized he himself is gay, will have to band together and put their relationship through the ultimate test.

My Opinion: A lot of these books are comparing themselves to Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda, and this one's even comparing itself to To All the Boys I've Loved Before, so it's basically setting me up for disappointment, but I will admit, I am judging this book by it's cover, and that smile is too cute to resist.

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I Kissed Alice by Anna Birch - MAY 26TH

Goodreads Synopsis: For fans of Simon vs. The Homo Sapiens Agenda and Fangirl, I Kissed Alice is a romantic comedy about enemies, lovers, and everything in between.

Rhodes and Iliana couldn't be more different, but that's not why they hate each other. Hyper-gifted artist Rhodes has always excelled at Alabama's Conservatory of the Arts despite a secret bout of creator's block, while transfer student Iliana tries to outshine everyone with her intense, competitive work ethic. Since only one of them can get the coveted Capstone scholarship, the competition between them is fierce.

They both escape the pressure on a fanfic site where they are unknowingly collaborating on a graphic novel. And despite being worst enemies in real life, their anonymous online identities I-Kissed-Alice and Curious-in-Cheshire are starting to like each other...a lot. When the truth comes out, will they destroy each other's future?

Dahlia Adler's Synopsis: Sign me the hell up for literally every enemies-to-lovers f/f rom-com, but especially this one, where the girls who hate each other at Alabama’s Conservatory for the Arts have no idea they’re falling for each other online as they collaborate on a graphic novel for a fanfic site under their online identities. That’s…everything I love in book? Yep, pretty much!

My Opinion: This one is on my list because Alice is basically my favorite sapphic girl name ever after my rewrite of the song, All the Girls Love Alice. Unfortunately, neither girl is named Alice, but it does seem to involve something about Alice in Wonderland. Maybe the graphic novel they're creating is a queer retelling of the classic story? Can't wait to find out.

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Six Angry Girls by Adrienne Kisner - JUNE 2ND

Goodreads Synopsis: A story of mock trial, feminism, and the inherent power found in a pair of knitting needles.

Raina Petree is crushing her senior year, until her boyfriend dumps her, the drama club (basically) dumps her, the college of her dreams slips away, and her arch-nemesis triumphs.

Things aren’t much better for Millie Goodwin. Her father treats her like a servant, and the all-boy Mock Trial team votes her out, even after she spent the last three years helping to build its success.

But then, an advice columnist unexpectedly helps Raina find new purpose in a pair of knitting needles and a politically active local yarn store. This leads to an unlikely meeting in the girls’ bathroom, where Raina inspires Millie to start a rival team. The two join together and recruit four other angry girls to not only take on Mock Trial, but to smash the patriarchy in the process.

Dahlia Adler's Synopsis: Kisner is three for three in putting gloriously queer YA on shelves, and I am in love with the idea of this newest, which takes the famous “Twelve Angry Men” and situates it in Mock Trial with an ace lead. Raina’s killing it at life, until suddenly she isn’t. Millie’s in a similar spot, having just been ousted from the all-male Mock Trial team. When the two pair up to start a rival girls’ team, it isn’t just their opponents they’re gunning for—it’s the whole motherfluffin’ patriarchy.

My Opinion:

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The State of Us by Shaun David Hutchinson - JUNE 2ND

Goodreads Synopsis: The State of Us is the story of Dean and Dre—the 16-year-old sons of the Republican and Democratic candidates for President of the United States—who fall in love on the sidelines of their parents' presidential campaigns.

Dahlia Adler's Synopsis: Tis the year for political YAs, for obvious reasons, and this contemporary romance also does double duty of being a touching demisexual coming out story that happens to take place across the aisle. (The political aisle, that is.) When Dean, the son the of the Republican candidate, and Dre, son of the Democratic candidate, find themselves locked in close quarters, they’re surprised to find that they quite enjoy the company of someone else who knows what it’s like to be in the junior spotlight. Soon, romance sparks, which is a bit of problem considering the whole “opponents” thing, not to mention Dean still trying to figure out how to deal with and discuss the fact that he’s demisexual. But someone out there seems determined to make their problem much, much bigger, and they’ll have to figure out who wants their relationship outed, how they can make it work, and how they can reconcile a future.

My Opinion: While unfortunately this love story has no Prince from England or Wales, this book is definitely in the same genre as Red, White, and Royal Blue, though of course Dean and Dre will be more YA than our favorite international political couple. No matter what, I can tell I'm going to love the angst in this one.

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The Falling in Love Montage by Clara Smyth - JUNE 9TH

Goodreads Synopsis:

Saoirse doesn’t believe in love at first sight or happy endings. If they were real, her mother would still be able to remember her name and not in a care home with early onset dementia. A condition that Saoirse may one day turn out to have inherited.So she’s not looking for a relationship. She doesn’t see the point in igniting any romantic sparks if she’s bound to burn out.

But after a chance encounter at a house party, Saoirse is about to break her own rules. For a girl with one blue freckle, an irresistible sense of mischief, and a passion for rom-coms.

Unbothered by Saoirse’s rulebook, Ruby proposes a loophole: They don’t need true love to have one summer of fun, complete with every cliché, rom-com montage-worthy date they can dream up—and a binding agreement to end their romance come fall. It would be the perfect plan, if they weren’t forgetting one thing about the Falling in Love Montage: when it’s over, the characters actually fall in love… for real.

Dahlia Adler's Synopsis:

Love books that make you laugh, swoon, and cry? Then you are going to fall head over heels for Smyth’s debut, an Ireland-set romantic contemporary about a girl named Saiorse who’s losing her mother to early-onset dementia and is determined never to get involved with anyone as a result…until she meets Ruby, and all bets are off. The girls agree to a no-strings-attached summer of just the good parts of romance, the movie montage where the couple does all sorts of fun things as they fall in love. But when the end of the summer comes, will they be able to let go?

My Opinion: The falling in love montage is my favorite part of love stories and I can't wait to read one set in Ireland! No strings attached? I don't think so Saiorse and Ruby. If they aren't together by the end of the book, I'll be tying the strings myself and writing fanfiction for days. I've only had one relationship that would qualify for a falling in love montage, most likely because I've only been in love once, and that's... ended, so I need something to fill my heart and this book just might be it.

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Check out @lgbtqreads for more recommendations and check out the link at the top of the post for the rest of the list!

#we used to be friends amy spalding #the gravity of us phil stamper #only mostly devastated sophie gonzales #super adjacent crystal cestari #music from another world robin talley #loveless alice oseman #verona comics jennifer dugan #when you get the chance tom ryan & robin stevenson #the extraordinaries tj klune #the summer of impossibilities rachel allen #date me bryson keller! kevin van whye #i kissed alice anna birch #six angry girls adrienne kisner #the state of us shaun david hutchinson #the falling in love montage ciara smyth #2020 reads #lgbtqareads book recs

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ecadiuu · 4 years ago

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my theory on the ending of snk (spoilers)

wow. I can’t believe I’m so knee-deep into the lore of shingeki no kyojin again. right when I thought I was understanding things, I end up retracing and trying to understand the purpose of events and why characters did what...and the like. needless to say, I became infatuated all over again. during quarantine I got back into the series and caught up, spending the last week doing so. I just wanted to list what I think would happen at the end.

I’m fully convinced that the baby in the last manga panel is the og ymir fritz from the paths dimension being reborn into the mortal world and officially “set free”. I also think that the baby is historia’s. people like to argue about who the father is, if its the farmer, some people say its eren, idk. somehow I feel like it could be eren...that would make the birth of new ymir that much more poignant, but at the same time...I don’t know, I still have my doubts. its a 50/50 for me.

I am also set on the idea that armin will be the one to devise a master plan and make something happen in which he “saves humanity”, where it’s been foreshadowed by eren during that erwin/armin dispute. what he’s going to do exactly, I’m not sure. excited to see it though.

that being said, a part of me also has this theory that whatever happens, the one who will “land the finishing blow” or be the one to actually attempt to stop eren will be mikasa. I think this way because she is the only capable person within the vicinity of the main plot who is unaffected by the founder’s powers, being that she’s ackerman and asian. therefore, if something hypothetically happens where eren uses the founder’s power to facilitate his plan of genocide and therefore render eldians incapacitated, stopping even his fellow eldian friends from his initiation of destruction, mikasa is the only person who would be both unaffected and able to do something about it..also worth mentioning that her bond with eren could make that much more of a difference.

but also, I don’t even think eren’s plan of mass genocide can be stopped. truthfully, I actually think his plan might go through. worst case scenario is that the alliance tries to convince eren, and when that doesn’t work, they resort to killing him. bonus points if it’s mikasa that possibly kills him, like I mentioned, because isayama is the king of Suffer. of course not before eren confesses to armin and mikasa that he’s always loved them and he was distancing himself so that they could bear his death better. watch him about to die, be like, “I knew that this was going to happen in the future, and I don’t regret it. To save humanity, Mikasa, Armin,,,...I love you.” bam death. but then it doesn’t matter since the rumbling just kills everyone because the Will has already been initiated and it was all for naught. sadness ensues

jk I don’t think it’s going to be that sad... though we can never be too cautious because all kinds of deaths and sad dialogues are surely on the table. I think that the ideal conclusion would go like this: the rumbling ends up killing some but not all. eren makes the little girl paths ymir biologically modify the eldian race so that they can no longer transform into titans. this won’t erase any of the hatred that the other nations have for eldia, they will still fear them due to the long history that cannot be erased either. the cycle of bloodshed would most likely still continue, but to me this is the most peaceful way...

...this ending is unsatisfying and inconclusive, and it’s why it’s very unlikely. it’s why I think that the rumbling is inevitable. I also can’t trust isayama. he is not kind to us LOL. he can do whatever he wants. so I still think there’s going to be a lot of death and pandemonium and sadness soon to come.

I also wanted to touch on the subject of shipping because lol why not. I was never really a shipper in snk just cause all of my shipping energy is transformed into love and affection for none other than a r m i n the bane of my existence and also my will to live.

eren’s going to die in one way or another. be it in action or in the few years he has left of life. taking that into account...it’s why I don’t see him ending up with anyone. he’s the main character, but just because he’s the main character doesn’t mean he’s going to have a happy ending with whoever it may be. eren doesn’t have enough time to find a wife and have a kid and live happily, and even if he did he’d only have like 2-3 years left. I’d doubt he’d even want to burden a potential partner by having a family just to leave them behind in the next instant. having a totally tragic, sad, but meaningful death is what I 100% see here, potentially, and that includes the life that he will have cut short due to his story. it’s quite sad to think he dies so early with the curse of ymir...but of course, that’s just how the story goes.

mikasa: IIII’m not totally sure who I see mikasa ending up with. what I do know for sure, though, is that her distance from eren was necessary in order for her character development--to prove that she is indeed not a slave to her ackerman instincts. this totally makes me want to touch on the manga of what I saw regarding her and eren’s relationship, so I’m going to right now. oh god.. straight up, I felt sooo bad for mikasa after reading the scene where...omg....the survey corps went to marley woo fun ice cream and that night, eren talks to mikasa alone near the mid-east refugees, being all like, “wHat dO I mEaN to yOU?” ,,,,like I don’t even consider myself an eremika shipper, but damn I was blushing for her. so cut to that part where she responds “family” when he asks between “because I saved you” or “family”... it was here where it was kinda confirmed that she has those kinds of feelings for eren...which makes this even sadder for me to think about. the way I interpreted that scene was that eren wanted to know if she was only so concerned of him because it was due to her nature of being an ackerman to protect, or if it was because he and her grew up together (in my opinion, it was the culmination of both, but maybe more so the fact that they grew up together). what I understood from his question was that the last thing eren wants is for mikasa to be attached to him due to her bloodline and therefore a slave to him because of her own instincts, which is what he believes. I also understand his motive for being so mean to her was because of this. maybe he even wanted to protect her from the pain of his inevitable death and a guaranteed future without him, and so distancing himself is what he finds is necessary for that. and for that reason, I tend to think that their separation is going to be the endgame for them. undoubtedly, mikasa will have to live the rest of her days without eren. it’s one of those sad aspects of love that’s so vividly shown in SNK that’s like, love is sometimes real but not possible due to circumstances. will mikasa end up with armin? I don’t know. it’s possible but I mean...I feel like mikasa would be too pained knowing how deeply involved eren was in both of their lives. someone “new” like jean? seems hugely weird...also jean constantly disrespected eren so...probably not. I’m totally fine with mikasa being single. she can be an independent bad bitch and have her memory of eren deep within her heart.

armin: okay, so armin has 9 years left to live. will he have partner and a potential family? maybe. a lot of these questions are big maybes. I could totally see it happen. with who? no clue. I see that armin x annie is a thing, but like.............I honestly don’t think annie has the capability to love anyone like that. I think her sole concern in life is her father and that’s that. her life is also limited to who knows how many years, she has an even shorter time than eren. and in addition, like...would armin even like annie....? I just hope this king is happy for as long as possible because he deserves it. I Love You Armin.

as for everyone else, I also could see people like connie and jean finding their partners once everything is over, of course if theyre still alive. levi and hange are probably going to be bachelors for the rest of their lives. focusing primarily on levi, I think his whole life he never really tried to get close to anyone or had thoughts of truly having intimate relationships because he would expect the possibility of them to die. levi is king of “protecting myself from hurt by not engaging in intimacy in the first place”. an art I am also soon to master thanks to his teachings. hange...I hope she lives along with levi and both of them can finally live in peace as the old, tired veterans they truly are. speaking of which, I hope she doesn’t die. but for some reason I have a sense in my gut isayama is going to pull something.

^^the above wasn’t meant to bash any ships or anything. it’s just what I thought regarding the characters’ endings in my point of view, all while keeping the themes of the series in consideration, trying to be as unbiased and factual as possible

as we know, snk characters x happiness is....rare. snk characters x life is even rarer. still looking forward to any ending isayama has tho, might just cry into a pillow when I read it

#snk #my theory #lol #this wasnt meant to hurt anyones feelings #probably hurts me more #this was solely for fun ok #i might be dumb

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