#never enough wholesome queer writing

[lastweekscoffee]

Someday, I want to make a wholesome LGBTQ+ comic that's about people just existing and figuring themselves out.

About falling in love with someone, yourself, and no one at all. Healing from mental illness/working with it. Making friends that love you for you and don't care how you're different. Seeing yourself for the first and falling to your knees out of grief, love, and euphoria.

I want to make something little me would have found comfort in seeing. Something that says, "No matter what, you'll be okay." And, "You don't have to change yourself for others." And "You aren't a monster for your pain."

That's for the future, though. I have so many other unfinished queer writing that I have yet to finish. For the future, though

[sk-touchthesun]

It has been a bit over a month since the first time I watched Dead Boy Detectives and I now have watched it from start to finish four times. Oops. I don't know how that happened—I certainly wasn't prepared for this level of love for a series.

Since I haven't really been in any fandoms or tumblr in, like... ten years or whatever, I wanted to write about why I fell in love with Dead Boy Detectives when I saw the series for the first time. I don't know if anyone's interested in reading a long-ish post, but in case you are, buckle up because this is going to be pure love and positivity from start to finish. It's mainly about Edwin and Charles, though.

I started watching the show without any background information and never having seen the Sandman either. I rotate streaming services and it was Netflix's turn. I read queer fiction quite a lot and watch queer movies and series as a hobby, and remembered someone mentioning Dead Boy Detectives.

The beginning on the series was intriguing enough already, but it was during this scene that I knew I was going to watch the entire thing:

This leads me to the reason I love the series so much: the carrying force of the story is the love Edwin and Charles have for each other, be it platonic or romantic. I'm a sucker for themes like found family and being loved as your authentic self because that's something I crave. I have always been more or less lonely because of social anxiety and struggling with social situations. Perhaps that's why stories containing those themes have such a profound effect on me each time.

Of course, the way the series combines elements of horror and comedy with heartwarming and wholesome sweetness is delightfully refreshing in itself. Dead Boy Detectives kept me glued to the screen so that I finished it in a day the first time I watched it. However, the characters are what makes the show so brilliant. I think the cast in general is phenomenal, but it's the love between Edwin and Charles that I felt most while watching.

This obviously is where I have to praise George Rexstrew and Jayden Revri for their acting. I think it's largely thanks to them that I love Edwin and Charles so much. Their characters' chemistry and the fond way Edwin and Charles interact with each other in the series is something I felt viscerally right from the beginning. It's obviously ingrained in the overall plot, but the love can also be felt in the smallest gestures. How many shows do you have where your favorite character dying is one of your favorite moments in the series because it's so sweet? (I'm sure you can deduce my favorite character from this...)

Personally, I also think that George Rexstrew and Jayden Revri's acting is particularly spellbinding during the moments their characters break down and show raw emotion. In an odd way the characters' suffering is what makes episodes like The Case of the Devlin House and The Case of the Very Long Stairway so brilliant. The characters' emotions during their most vulnerable moments are so tangible.

I know there has been talk about how season two would look like if the series was revived, and honestly, I think there's one crucial thing that should be kept as it is or the entire thing would be ruined: the carrying force of the show being that Edwin and Charles are willing to do anything to not to get separated.

I can't see any universe where someone becomes more important to the two main characters than what they're to each other. Charles says that Edwin is the only person he'd go to Hell for. We know how Edwin feels. The love is there already. If either of them had a long-lasting romance with someone else, the love interest would get two with the price of one. Equally important? Well—possibly. Love isn't finite. More important? Never.

I'd like to see Edwin and Charles get together, though. They're like an old married couple already and I can't imagine them being together with anyone else in the long run. At least the first season left things open enough for interpretation, with the cancellation and all.

Last but not least, it's a bit crazy that I only saw the show for the first time a bit over a month ago and was ready to splurge on a cameo. It was my birthday during the gameoden week and I got a birthday message! It was very sweet and has cheered me up ever since. I'm not sharing it here because I feel it's a bit personal with my birthday and all, but I loved it.

In case you ended up reading all this, thanks for reading my love letter for the show and the characters and the actors!

[olderthannetfic]

https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/750687200796164096

Don't know if anyone cares about this, but I'm here to report on unfortunate changes to the "Kamishiro Rui gay coding" discourse. The argument is now "even if he was actually gay coded, it would still be homophobic because they're queerbaiting." Seen with my own two eyeballs. Written by queer teens.

For context, the discourse's trajectory (perpetuated by the same group of people btw, which means that yes, queer teens also used point 1 to argue in favor of their M/F ship) so far has been such:

-> Rui isn't gay coded. Y'all are just trying to push your gay ships because you can't let anything be wholesome

-> Rui isn't gay coded. Everything you guys claim to be "coding" are just gay stereotypes, which is homophobic and disgusting

-> If Rui was gay coded, then gay coding is homophobic because it uses gay stereotypes. If they want to write a gay character, they should just say he's gay

-> Even if the writers' intention was to gay code Rui, it would still be homophobic. It's queerbaiting because they would never give him a gay relationship. (As if a gay character existing on his own isn't good enough)

Please keep in mind that, in the background of this discourse, there is the assumption that Sega would never allow a gay character to be created for their family friendly game. Which is funny because Akiyama Mizuki, Rui's only middle school friend, is literally trans

(There's also the fact that several female couples have extremely obvious romantic undertones - as in An explicitly said she was going on a date with Kohane, but since it can be read as shiptease, or platonic if you're really determined, I'm not accounting for it.)

--

[sorcerous-caress]

You're right and I know you are but I actually got so upset that I am now violently sick. I am literally only sharing this because I am fairly certain you're also autistic and BPD but I hate so much that like the one time in mainstream media we are given a bi/pan man who is effeminate and prefers men but isn't a derogatory stereotype but every post about him is like He’s The Most Masculine, Actually and actually the reason we don't see him express attraction to women is because he's so shy actually ignore that he can hookup with Laezel who would not stand for that and is main character trait is confident (and I don't think I've started fights so at least there's that)

I used to not understand the problem with the Astarion fandom but then I came to painful realization he has straight fans who actually seem to hate his canon character

Anyway sorry for all the Bobstarion… gay bpd bitches are gay bpd bitching. You're the best for reading this tho 😭💀💚

I know this feeling very well anon.

You've completely summed it up, he is finally a non-derogatory representation of an effeminate queer man and straight fans burnt his canon to the ground so they can make their dream masculine babyboy shy twink.

God it fucking stings doesn't it? It literally hurts just to think about how much Larian risked by even putting Astarion in the game. A western game at that too where forum after forum are full of incels complaining about women not being inflatable sex objects in their game.

Baldur's gate 2 and 1 never was this inclusive, it was strictly hetro except for the remastered npcs. Astarion by himself probably made them lose half their "old-school" homophonic demographic.

And the fandom takes all of that and makes him another fucking joke of a character? All the people who have never played the game would search up the Astarion tag and get a completely wrong impression of him.

Not once did a character before him made me leave a game because I was disgusted with myself. His storyline and writing is phenomenal because I too objectified him at the start then the game called me out for it in act 3 and it changed my world view so much.

God did you know early access had Gale and Wyll be awkward if a male Tav hits on them? That only Astarion was the always accepting person regardless of gender?

Even now he is still the only male character between the two who openly expresses his interest in men! Who embraces being flamboyant and doesn't try to fit into a narrative.

I completely understand anon, and I know how much bpd and autism highlights these feelings and make them dig like nails at your brain. Yes I have them too. And I'm glad you feel comfortable enough to share your thoughts with me.

It must be more frustrating for you tho, for liking Astarion and being lumped in with the rest of his weird fans without your consent. You can't even filter their posts out because they treat their takes as "normal" and how it's not them belittling a queer character no! They're just being "wholesome"

Fuck the batstarion shit still gets on my nerves. I saw one with a baby bottle feeding him??? It just feels so infantilising because he isn't some cute animal he is a fully grown and matured person. If it's just a kink then sure idc but please tag it at least.

Then they make him "shy" around women. You know why that god awful take was probably born? Because most of his straight fans picked women and went into his romance. So they think that his clumsy personality in act 2 is because they're a woman and he is so used to men.

It's fucking disgusting, Astarion would treat both men and women with the same clumsy romance, all my Tavs were nonbinary and he never treated them differently.

You have every right to feel this way, you have every right to be furious at this. Especially with a character you care about so much.

But people will take advantage of that, people who want to start fights for the sake of fights or drama blogs who are itching to make a callout post. People don't like others poking holes in their logic no matter how good your intentions are.

Homophobia exists, racism too, look at how ignored Wyll is by these supposed fans. Look at how popular Gale x Astarion is than x Wyll because both of them are white.

It's okay to vent and it's okay to feel frustrated and stuck. God knows during some bpd episodes I come very close to deleting this blog bc of the smallest of reasons, so Imagine actually having a valid reason to be mad like you.

Take a step back, fuck those people honestly. Fuck anyone who ever did this shit just for their own self indulgence, who left all the media that panders to straight people and came and took Astarion too just to strip him of all of his traits and put him in the hetro box.

So leave them be, they suck, they're shitty and never willing to listen. Don't waste your frustration on them, it's better to yell at a wall, at least, unlike them, it might reply back with something productive one of those days.

Again, I hope you feel better soon. I genuinely do, these feelings suck beyond words can describe. Do something you like or revisit your favourite works that stay true to Asterion's character. Ground yourself with anything that might help.

Don't feed them or reply to their arguments, please. hopefully, they leave the fandom once the new manufactured tumblr sexyman is released and the Asterion tag.

[count-von-kit]

I'm never really sure how to sell myself, or rather garner interest to a fandom that has yet to really be established. But it's a small and wholesome group that I adore regardless. And I hope one day it will grow, because these goons have been the serotonin ride that's gotten me out of many tough spots time and time again. I'm finally in the position to slowly migrate my stuff from KoFi onto Ao3, and the reason I'm doing so is because KoFi outside of just being tipped doesn't really assist much for writers. I've lost many one-shot series because their blogging system does not allow to track posts by calendar dates like other spaces. But that's a personal rant for another time. That said, while I migrate my works to another site I still struggle to garner interest for some things I worked hard to write, even with having created a fandom tag for my very own family. And I know some things take time, but on the same token it still feels discouraging to a lesser degree. Namely because I'm not really sure just how to get people interested? If you're looking for wholesome and queer to read, I would be happy to present the following:

"Happy Birthday, Rose!" is a piece dedicated to Camp Boolieve's very own plant-loving gremlin. It's short, and to the point. More or less a birthday present I wrote for Rose's player. Some minor revisions were done to this when migrating it from my KoFi page, seeing as this was written before the series concluded. Now it holds a bit more accuracy. I would recommend this one specifically if you've listened to our playthrough, as there is a reference to a very specific episode.

"Hoodie" is a canonical piece written for the sake of gay fluff. It was written either right as Camp Boolieve was ending or immediately after? Or like right before our last episode? I can't quite remember exactly, but I wanted to write an important bit of how Abel likes to take Willy's hoodies. I did have to edit some things as I was nowhere near where I was when this got written. And while it's not perfect, it's still cute enough to sate those looking for fluff. Because we do love fluff.

A more spicy tale. "Merry Christmas, I Could Care Less [Unless]" is the Christmas piece I was posting about back in November/December. My group finally helped me deliver this live back in January. They also convinced me to put it up on Ao3. So with that, I added in some spicier bits that we could not deliver on Twitch. :) This canonical piece does have some trigger warnings to it, but I'm really happy with it. It was not fun to format when transferring it over there, but it's still something I'm proud of. And it's only part one! The rest of the tale will not be delivered until later this year. I had to split it into two parts as there was no way we'd be able to read the whole thing otherwise.

So if you're looking for a longer piece with a little bit of spice, then I would gladly suggest this one. Also if you're able to count all the FOB references in this one, then I will virtually give you a cookie. If you want a slightly less spicier version, you can listen to the stream on our VOD channel below [I am sorry in advance for the audio quality...]. But I am uh... trying to cater to getting those hits on my Ao3 stuff...

And heck. If you like the series that much and want to check out where it all began, then boy howdy do I have a Playlist for you!

Anyway, thanks for taking the time to read through this. Likes and reblogs are always appreciated. I'm always so nervous to share my stuff with people outside of my comfort zone, but at the same time I'm also very eager to share it and always hope folks like what they read. So if you do take the time to read through pieces I've invested so much of myself into, I want you to know that I super appreciate you and the time you've given me. Thank you, and I love you.

-Alexander

[sharpth1ng]

Hey do you have any transfem Billy headcanons

I know you’re transmasc but I feel like transfem representation is really low compared to transmasc representation

So do you have any headcanons you might have for transfem Billy

Yeah feels like there's more transfem rep in mainstream media but less in fanfiction, which sucks. But there's never enough trans rep in general, we need more of everything.

In terms of transfem Billy honestly I have a hard time coming up with anything because the characterization of this character is very rooted in masculinity and a relationship to masculinity. Billy is a gay man in my mind, so I'm not really sure how to conceptualize of a non-male Billy. Once I have a characterization in my head it's hard for me to step out of that.

To be honest I'm also not always sure what folks are looking for with trans head-canons. For the most part hcs for trans characters don't differ from their cis counterparts, unless we're talking about what steps they took to physically transition, and I feel kind of weird making a list of trans hcs that are just about physical transition.

ALL THAT SAID, I want to give you something, even if I can't give you quite what you asked for, SO:

Transfem Tatum hcs

Tatum was a pretty shy and reserved kid before she came out, didn't talk a lot, didn't have a lot of friends. She became a lot more social and bold post transition

She and Sid have basically been friends since they were babies because their moms went to the same maternity class while they were pregnant. She never really had to come out to Sid, Sid was just there the whole time

Her mom always wanted a daughter so Tatum got to do a lot of shopping and dressing up with her. There's a bunch of cute/cheesy 80's mall style portraits of her and her mom dressed up from when they went on shopping trips

As an adult Tatum wants to work in fashion, partially because it was such an important and early part of her gender expression

Stu was the first dude she came out to. She was understandably nervous because he's an idiot, but he really doesn't give a shit and it doesn't change much of anything for their relationship. He's just horny, he doesn't care what parts you have

When she's older, out of Woodboro, and able to go to bars and stuff she makes an effort to connect more with the queer community that she didn't have access to when she was younger. As a result she ends up sewing costumes for the drag queens at her local gay bar. She is beloved.

Tatum's the first girl Sid ever had a crush on

When they're older her and Sid become that one extremely wholesome (but also not to be fucked with) lesbian couple that adopts all the local queer kids who aren't safe staying at home

So yeah, I know that's not exactly what you asked for, but I'd rather give you something that feels in character than force hcs that my brain can't quite wrap around. And by the way I'm not saying transfem Billy shouldn't exist, if anyone has that in them please feel free to write it!

[drones-of-innocence]

✨, 🏷, and 📚 for the fanfic writing game! 😊

From this ask game:

✨️ Out of the comments you’ve received on your fics, what are two or three of your favorites?

I've gotten more than a fair share of comments in my time which is actually amazing haha, though it's usually the very long ones that stick with me and make me feel like I've written something impactful. The more detailed and invested in the little parts of the story a comment is, the more likely I am to remember it. Recently @keylovesstuff left a very long comment on I'll Never Let You Go on the most recent chapter. Another comment that comes to mind is @lotsofdreamb0ats comment on Fresh Air a couple of years ago that just completely blew me out of the water with their insight 🥺 Also you've actually left me many comments too and I always get very happy when I see your name in my notifs! In particular I remember this comment from you, also from Fresh Air 😆

I really do appreciate all the comments I get 🥹 It's such a pure form of kindness to leave a comment on any fic for an author and for so many people to take the time, especially multiple times, to let me know they liked something I wrote never gets old. Sometimes it is a little overwhelming, so I hope you'll forgive me if I've ever not replied to your comment. Just know that I probably speak for most authors (unless they explicitly say otherwise!!) that comments are always a welcome form of interaction, especially with developing stories as well as stories that are years old 💕

🏷 Is there a tag you like to search for when looking for fanfics to read?

I usually isolate fics with the romantic pairings I want to read about, and usually I stick to the canonical or almost canonical ones😆 I love Mario/Princess Peach (in case you couldn't tell), but I also enjoy various other ships as I interact with the media! Link/Zelda is one I come back to a lot (and have one or two fics partially written for) but I've had to stay away from the tag until I eventually finish TOTK to avoid spoilers 😩 I'll also read Adrien/Marinette from Miraculous Ladybug just because the secret identity dynamic is so fascinating. Sheeta/Pazu from Castle in the Sky is one I'll read for and have also written for. Pretty much any Ghibli pairing haha, the dynamics are always so pure and wholesome. Besides that, any media I consume with an interesting enough pairing is what I'll explore. I know these listed pairings are very hetero of me lol I do love me a good (healthy) masculine/feminine dynamic but I am actually in search of more queer pairings to explore. I have been slightly getting into podcasts and enjoying the queer representation in the Magnus Archives and Welcome to Night Vale.

📚 Is there a fanfic or fanfic writer you recommend?

I think the most fascinating author I've ever come across goes by YarningChick on Ao3 and FFN. They primarily write for The Cat Returns and the pairing of Haru/Baron Humbert von Gikkingen. The stories they write are so intricate and tied deeply into their other interests, essentially transforming the pairing into more or less their original characters in a sense. Some of the crossovers I never would have dreamed of, but the writer makes it all very compelling. I would 100% read any original story they wrote as well. I hope to be a writer like them one day.

Thank you so much for the ask!!

[bookishthoughst]

THE SONG OF ACHILLES by Madeline Miller

So, believe me when I say I tried to like this, I really did, because queer love stories and greek mythology are both so high up my ally it's ridiculous. Nevertheles, this book fell so flat for me. I can't help but believe that the only reason so many people love it is purely because of the greek and the queer. And I get how that also just is the story, but I think possibly people put it on too high of a pedestal just because of this fact, and because it is one of the first of it's kind. Like everyone had been waiting for something like this for so long they refused to accept the result wasn't all that good.

I know my share of greek mythology, but I won't go into how and what about this book was incorrect in that aspect. I simply don't know enough about it to not make any mistakes myself.

My biggest issue with this story was that I did not feel any of the chemistry between Achilles and Patroclus. I feel like it was all nicely put in place so that on paper they would be compatible, and they would become friends, and they might even fall in love. Except to me, that last part never happened as far as I could tell. Yes, it was written in the literal pages, but no interaction or conversation really made that true for me. I missed all the depth and chemistry.

I also feel like Madeline Miller made a mistake in making pretty much the whole story about Achilles, and what Achilles does and allegedly thinks, but then write it from Patroclus's point of view, who therefore is only in the story to think of Achilles every second of every day. She uses Patroclus as the narrater she herself was supposed to be, and I don't think it works very well.

I'm a fan of mean and fickle gods, I'm a fan of unhinged behavior and characters who make questionable decisions, yet I failed to like almost anyone in this book, everyone felt so 2D. The only people I did like were Odysseus and Chiron.

I'm being negative, but I didn't hate this book, it had it's moments. What made me so sad to read this was that those moments were fleeting, they grazed the page but nothing ever materialized, or it did, but only for a moment.

I did think their life on mount pelion was quite wholesome, and I held back tears at the end during the conversation between Patroclus and Thetis. I enjoyed the beginning and the end, apparently, everything in between just wasn't it for me.

All together I thought it was very repetetive, the exact same things with the exact same descriptions in every chapter. There was too much said without actually providing much information.

I know a lot of people like this book and bawled their eyes out, and I want to make it clear that I don't mean to judge anyone who adores this book, this is only my personal opinion.

[the-official-account]

Three of Hearts episode 17 live blog

(this bitch has spoilers)

On sabbatical from my impromptu career in marketing, and also (sigh) life, here's another liveblog! The first one on tumblr, the platform where I am somehow even more unapologetically long winded

@threeheartscast

OOOH another flashback I love these. Getting to know spar before clovenheart is <3. Of course it's malicious compliance that's the best type of compliance.

Ooooh I gotta love a seedy literal underbelly. I'm excited to listen to that quiet year series omg.

Okayyyyy I see that moody lighting we've got going one 👀👀👀

ALL THREE AT ONCE IF YOU ARE EXTREMELY SKILLED

Invite only altered people club is so rad.

Scales and tails notes for future me writing a very particular sort of fanfic

Note to find out how to spell yaccab's name right for that fanfic LMAO

GOD I love spar. The puring for the table, the going out to have fun and going it by acting like a host. He's such a people person in a way that's like....Shepardly? OH like a herding dog! Not so much that he's forceful but so much that when he's got you marked as a friend he's gonna make sure you're ok make sure you're okay make your you're okay, your good? OKAY GREAT!!!!! :D

And it's so lovely and wholesome and warm and I'm glad it's a dude filling that sort of role. As much as I love my sexy hostess with the mostest trope, accommodating individuals come in many flavors and genders!

OMG YACCAB IS SO NICE IM SO GLAD SPAR HAS A FRIEND LIKE THAT

Okay writer brain is telling me that while I don't think vellum is TOO straight laced to go here...... hmmm these notes will NOTE be posted yet

(I would've listened to more of the episode by now and maybe gotten to 18 if my brain didn't go on a HARD left turn after that. Know that the live in liveblog means "with many, MANY pauses")

Spar is like "hmm. I moved away from my tribe of people like me. Unacceptable. I'm gonna adopt everyone in this shady ass establishment" and yk what I respect that. Queer life goals.

Let a man get drunk without interruption, oh my god!

I realized "Yaccab" might be "Jacob" and I am... a perfectly intelligent English speaking person! But monolingual.

I don't like this dude for ruining the party. He's probably fine but. Still.

The dynamic I'm imagining between Spar and Jacob is like...Not friends with benefits, but not NOT friends with benefits. Sex-positive, queer, and close enough to where they're super physically comfortable (he was literally on his lap lmao) and they may have kept eachother company once or twice! But like. I'm thinking of that dynamic that is sort of "our relationship is neither platonic nor romantic not queer platonic but between all of those things, and I want you to find somebody but I consider it my responsibility to decide if they're good with you" type beat. Yes these posts are very often me taking notes for myself later. Ah to be free of the twitter character limit.

"....that's fucked up." THE WAY I HOLLERED. Yacob (final awnser) is so confused and spar is so drunk lmao.

OH WAIT IS YACOB AN EX? idk I mean previous statements still mostly count.

I'm too aro for this shit— I don't care how much characters kiss I deadass forget traditional romantic situations are like. Possible.

Why does spar keep giving YACOB responsibility 😂😂😂😂 narrative brain is saying "Setting up to spar trusting vellum with Anya or sorrel n them/paralleling when he sort of did fighting jasper" the part of my brain that wants to put my blorbos in my mouth and chew on them like the word "intellectual" was never invented is going HAHA. SHEEPDOG!

Ah yes the classic Italian stereotype: possessing fancy hats

Jordan introducing the folks in this room as "two women and a man" is THE most gendered sentence that I think exists in this podcast and that is VERY funny to me

*fanning myself* There is something SO admirable about a man with convicti— HES GOING FOR THE DOOR LMAOOOO

"I know what I wanted to know now" my deeply embedded distrust of gms (as a runner-of-games who also loves to get up to nonsense at the first opportunity)has alarm bells going off a bit

OMG VELLUM IS HERE NOW HI HI HI!!!!!

OH MY GOD I love little cute scenes where characters met before they like met, if one or both parties forgets it I call them "meet moots" because they meet and nothing happens JFKSVSLDVSKDVKZ

I mean yeah timbleton has gotta pursue hell lose his job and probably get arrested.

I was about to be like "vellum fuck your bosses stop staying late RISE RISE RISE!!!" and then I remember vellum kinda owns the place dushdgoddb SO DO SOME SELF CARE AND SLEEP, DUMMY.

"yeah I'm fine are spars first words to vellum" oh ouch but cute

NO AGENTS HERE DKSVSODVSOSVSO OH MY GODDD this. This is. This is very cute. NOT SPAR INTRODUCING HIMSELF AS GAMBLER. vellum sounds. Confused but endeared (BECAUSE WHO WOULDNT BE) but ENDEARED!!!!

Vellum is so cool. WOULD IT BOTHER YOU IF I STAYED WITH YOU. AWH.

Bestie if he pushes the key under the door anybody who comes past can open the door.

Spar said "idgaf I can fuck I fucker up, do it all the time, try me"

VELLUM WAITING WITH HIS SWORDCANE AFTER GAMBLER HAS PASSED OUT ON THE FLOOR IS SSUUUUUUCHHHH A GOOD MENTAL IMAGE

OH THEM FLANKING THE DOOR WITH TWO SWORDS IS GO GOOD ALSO

BUT THUNBLETON MY MAN WHAT THE FUCK

YACOB IS HERE!!!! OMG FRIEND! Oh my god I love him.

OOOOOH AND VELLUM IS HERE TOO TIMBLEICBDMD IS SOOOO FUCKED.

POV: you're thinininininnton and vellum is pointing his rapier (I imagine that when he presses the button to unsheathe it an intricate collapsible golden guard springs out) at you're throat is something I wanna draw SO bad that is SOOOO cool and sexy and rand but wayyyy out of my ability right now. It will live forever in my brain (also my list for 3o♥️s stuff to draw is sooo long )

(also I shouldve guessed those people were shady they had one-word genders)

Yacob saw spar running and was like "guess this is my life now!" What a real one.

HE PULLS OUT A FLASH. KIIIIIING SHIT. Spar kisses him...but...but are they.....whatever dlegdkvdskdvd

Also I feel like grey for sure has that eye. Or diamond had the eye and grey has the gem now.

Efficiency-opsec brain getting really excited about the idea of vellum adjusting security protocols....I fucking love protocols.

Oh Vellum honey maybe don't go interrogating the single most secretive person with the most open desire to kill you.

"do you need somebody to take you there?" 🐑🐕

OH SHIT CATS. I miss destiny

I feel like Arabella is for sure in that lighthouse

YOU TURN TO LOOK AT THE WIGHTHOUSE AND YOU SEE THE PRESIDENT JXOSGSODHSODHDIDH

OH. AWH. VELLUM GETTING FLUSTERED WHEN HE'S APPRECIATED THATS CUTE BUT HE DESERVES ALL THE APPRECIATION AND TO BE USED TO THIS!!!! BUT ITS STILL CUTE!!!

BFKSGSKDVS VELLUM GIVING THIS TEEN AN EVEN SAFETY LESSON ♥️♥️♥️

Look like I Respect Meraphina's biomancy, and I respect her ability to use it for healing while also being very skeptical about the role of magic but like .... I disagree with the "don't bring magic back" thinking. If YOU have access to it it's clearly still there. Better for the world to recon with it as a whole then to have it available to some mysterious small number of folks only. Idk. Maybe my opinion on that will change but :\

OH. OH MERAPHINA LIKES HIM NOW? ....COOL!

They're still in cloven heart...hmm. in the lighthouse? This is probably related to preparing something big for bridge since they were all jacks.

"you dont just give things freely" somewhere in town Brunhilde has started frowning

OH. OH THATS A DAMN GOOD JOKER PLAY. WOW. WOW!!!! THOUGHTS. IMPLICATIONS. WOW! Now she can't kill him lmao

Anti-thaumatera is wearing Mayor Thorne as a glove puppet

"everyone in cloven heart at the time the spell was cast" diamond? Didn't diamond arrive soon after?

LOL ok so she'll still kill him

Midtro dance midtro dance

[ID: several repeats of the same very low quality image of a strange silhouette, humanoid but with a head that is too long from nose to ear, feet planted apart, arms out, and butt back, almost as if halfway through a squat. It is black on a white background. End ID]

Ooh Arabella can't do magic. Good to know.

"diamond took care of that" ALSO good to know

Okay but like...jasper...I can see where they're coming from

"he is posted up scanning the river and trees for potential assailants" the sheepdog joke will stop being funny when it stops being relevant and that is no time soon.

DESTINY WITH BRUNHILDE, THE TWO CUTEST CHARACTERS TOGETHER MY HEEEART

"that is definitely where I would be sneezing" 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

"they are both committed to this...to this Investigation"

OKAY BUT TATI AND ANYA COULD BE SOOOOOOOOOOO CUTE. I'm glad I'm not the only one that hears this. Tatianya....though I prefer Anyati

I didn't know tati was altered!

Edit: yes I did, what? Just forgot

...hmmm stowaways.....Arabella would probably be a much stronger presence probably. Xoechi and Joaquin maybe????

VELLUM NOT THINKING ABOUT THEM BEING ALONE BUT I FOR SURE WAY

JOSEPHA DID FUCKING NOT.

BEZTIE LIKE FUCK OFF

If you're trying to get money from the Harrington's for a good reason you could consider just ASKING

ABNFOEVDMD OHHHHH IT WAS TATI.

Girl I love you so much but you are like one week from the world's best full time jobs with the world's most eccentric investor like you'll be fine.

VELLUM'S FLIRTING LMAO

to protect him...

IT WAS GREY!!!! I FUCKING KNEW IT.

Still bestie it is NOT hard to guilt your niece into going to a blood drive you're setting up and like yoinking that shit. The drama! Unnecessary!!

Unless she's doing something super secretive and vellum might suspect that the blood being related to grey at all makes his behavior weird........HMMMM. HMMMM!!!!

I just KNEW tati was about to make that joke

Maybe grey is being Ransomed by a third party who wants vellums blood for some reason and she can't ask him for it because she knows the third parties goals go against vellum's morals and that the only way for them to be happy together after the third party does whatever thing with vellums blood he disagrees with is for her to pay for other people to get the blood so vellum assumes they were involved at all?

Like protection and ransom feel like good grey motivations to be but idk

BLOOD MAGIC?

okay okay maybe not.

Yeah because if grey was REALLY their employer it means that she doesn't have working for him as an out anymore really ...

Spar it might buy you time but it might also put you in danger. And there are possibly worse forces looking for the blood of altered people for expiriments!!!!! Though....well supplying it to them isn't actually doing any harm it's it's conventual since their goal isn't harmful? Well arabellas isn't but....UGH!

This blood drawing scene feels...intimate?

I was right!!!! Just some teens having fun going on an adventure.

BDJSGSJDGDKDBim imagining spar doing full manly-frown lean-on-the-banister stern older brother, vellum starting to smile when he sees the teens (because they're NOT Arabella!) Looking at spar and then going ahem yes. Serious. I am serious now.

Okay yeah but your mom's said no because diamond is a person of interest in a fucking KIDNAPPING

Ah yes the feeling vellum will feel upon spars death is surely "disappointment"

I really hope there's some really crucial information in the couples party djdgskdbd.

THE EYE?????????????? OH DAMN.

That was a really good one. No conclusions I am very tired now. Lots of love goodnight

[frinsstudios]

MEET THE WRITER

Things you need to know about Friyn:

-Tallest in their family -considers themselves to be a bad bitch when she’s introverted, lowkey wholesome, and a huge weirdo -Loves dark colors as well as pastel -their comfort show is BoJack Horseman and it's also their fixation -Despite being bitter about love, they are quite romantic -Mostly write queer stories to let people know they are very queer -Proud of their jokes and will defend their sense of humor -Is quite talkative that they don't know how to end conversations sometimes

But lastly, it's them, their awkward smile, writing, coffee, ice cream, rock music, and their beloved stuffed toys against the world.

-----

Friyn was 6 when they find diaries and journals interesting, 8 when they start to make up stories in their head, 10 when they start to jot them down in their notebook, 14 when they realized that this can be their thing, and not stop their passion ever since.

Their first story includes gay characters, which could've been a sign that they are not straight but they are dumbfounded enough to figure it out at 16.

Now 20 and studying college, this never stops Friyn from creating endless stories filled with gayness. They now have a collection of one-shot/short stories on Wattpad and is now working on more Wattpad novel projects

For now, their first-ever coming-of-age YA story The World Only We Exist is out on platforms like Goodnovel, iStory, Moboreader, and more~!

To know more about Friyn, give them a chat but be careful because they are an alien who is very shy but also loud once they get comfortable

check out their other platforms and their story below:

https://www.goodnovel.com/.../LGBTQ/The-World-Only-We-Exist

[bartletslesbians]

any of 1, 2, 19, 20 (they’re v similar so please feel free to answer them together/ pick whichever you want to answer!!)

Femslash Shipping Questions!

Thank you for these!! and omg this got a little more personal than I was expecting lmao here you go

1/2: What was the first time you encountered canon/fanon femslash? How old were you? How did it make you feel?

Canon wise, I was a Pretty Little Liars girly. I was SO in love with Emily Fields and her girlfriends, and 10/11 year old me was smitten. Even then, it never occurred to me to seek out more content online? I was reading PLL fanfiction, but it was all ezria (Ezra Fitz/Aria Montgomery, a teacher/student thing that I thought was so romantic). I didn't actually see much fan content around wlw except some background ships in the drarry fanfic I read. I took a step into femslash fandom when I added past Narcissa/Lily to my lucissa fics at.. 14? but never really engaged much with other wlw content bc it made me feel Weird (even though I identified as bi at the time and was fine with that, the internalised homophobia was Strong) and I hated lesbian headcanons for a long time... not a good time. Then around 17 or so I found Extinction by @rubikanon which got me into cissamione overnight, and I think that is really what jumpstarted my love for femslash as a fandom section?? But even then, it's taken a while from then until the time I started really writing femslash fic regularly.

I'm about to turn 22 now, and I love femslash fandom with all my heart. But I'd say it's honestly really been the last? two years? That I've also let myself enjoy that wholeheartedly without feeling icky or ashamed around it. It's been a blast.

19: Thoughts about lesbian tragedy and bad endings?

Okay so I know that as a general trend, they're bad. I know the history of them, and I do very much oppose the idea that in order to tell an interesting lesbian story, the lesbians gotta die and be miserable. I wish we had more content where we lived and weren't hidden away while married to men, you know, absolutely. In terms of mass media, 100%.

That said.

I love it.

I love tragedy, I love tear-jerk stories where people die and can't be together, I love forbidden love, I love stories with infidelity. I love it regardless of if it's femslash or not. I think here though, my condition is that I love these stories, if they're about queer women being miserable, I want them told by queer women. Let us indulge in the stories of our own suffering when it's not a condition for our stories to exist in the first place.

Yes, mass media telling us our stories are worth telling only if we die, terrible and should not be a thing, I hate it. But god do I love a good tragedy.

20: Thoughts about (purely fictional!) lesbian unhealthy relationships?

All in favour of this, honestly. A lot of the femslash I personally write is actually quite wholesome compared to other ships I write? And I think part of it is that I'm legit kinda scared to indulge in darker content with femslash bc it feels like there's this Thing around femslash that it's supposed to be cute and wholesome to offset the mean evil dyke stereotypes around wlw. The darkest I get between women is a consensual age gap, whereas with ships like Sirius/Narcissa, I love exploring how genuinely fucked up a relationship can be. I'm more hesitant to do that with femslash, even though there's plenty of ships it could work for.

I like to read darker femslash, though, and I love the authors providing us with it. Maybe one day I'll actually be comfortable enough to let my sapphic characters be less than good and sad-at-worst.

[gnomebinary]

I've known about the omegaverse for as long as I can remember, but I first read it as written for The Magnus Archives I think. It being written for tma speaks to me especially because it frequently features an asexual character. I'm asexual, I don't have a sex drive (which I think would surprise the majority of the beta public) and the way that writers in the fandom deal so delicately with being asexual but having a body that is capable of being horny quite without your mind's involvement really speaks to my experience. It can be happy and wholesome or it can be super gross and make you feel like your body isn't your.

I also really enjoy super mundane world building. Honestly the sex is my least favourite part, I think it's the part that varies least between works. Here are some of my favourite worldbuilding moments:

"[Name] is an adult. He's called a heatproof taxi before."

Being late because you were stuck in a queue at the pharmacy waiting for your heat suppressants

A millenial alpha character trying to build a nest for his omega partner who is unable to (omegas usually build the nest and are led by instinct), looking up tutorials on youtube and being intimidated by all the gen-z nest tutorials. Gen-z aesthetic wellness culture is perfectly encapsulated in an omega sitting in front of their perfect nest in shades of periwinkle saying "Remenber, there's no shame in nesting, above all it's about honouring your natural cycles!"

I avoid works that make the characters' personalities change drastically as a result of their hormones because that defeats the whole purpose for me, and works that make the omega excessively feminine without engaging with the expansiveness of gender in an interesting way.

I think I was originally intrigued by grim curiosity. I'm ashamed to say I thought it would be weird but funny. I don't enjoy any similar tropes, I don't even like AUs beside fix-its, and I don't gravitate towards fantasy or sci-fi in original fiction. I do, however, enjoy queer media (consider me holding space for mpreg rn) and I think at its best, the omegaverse is some of the queerest media out there.

I think a major change in omegaverse works has been a tendency in some fandoms away from angst stemming from a state that's oppressive to omegas. Honestly I don't think I'd enjoy those stories because the government is bad enough, but that hardly explains the change bc it's not like the general feeling around politics was any more optimistic ten years ago. In fact, I recently read something where an alpha had time off work no questions asked, as heat leave for his partner's heat, just so he could look after him. That got me thinking, if we had people with heat cycles in our society, would we do that too? But then I realised that we DO have people with bodily cycles that affect them quite significantly, and my boss would laugh in my face if I asked for time off for my period. Capitalism can't even prioritise my wellbeing over my work, while the omegaverse is out here recognising by default that a person's partner comes before work. In some ways, these days the omegaverse is the dirty fantasy of a caring state.

I spent much of my undergrad writing about how supernatural bodies can create space for expansive sexualities, both pleasurable and uneasy, and am currently in the early stages of an essay collection about the omegaverse. I've never seen an omegaverse summary that's sufficiently nuanced, but if anyone can do it it's you. Let me know if I can help further in any way. Please censor my url lol

Omegaverse readers & writers!! I want to hear from you!!!

Firstly — Yes — I have already done a lot of research. I don’t need the basics explained to me or the fact that it is an incredibly diverse genre with examples good writing, bad writing, good social commentary, bad social commentary, expansive thoughtful worldbulding, raunchy porn without plot, and everything in between.

What I’m looking for with this post is personal experiences and opinions from people who read/ write this content since I am not one. Feel free to link any fics that exemplify what you’re talking about.

you can write as much or as little as you like, answer as many or as few of the questions as you like:

What fandom introduced you to omegaverse?

What trends and developments have you noticed as the genre has grown over the past 14-ish years?

what initially intrigued you about it?

Are there similar genres, tropes, etc, that you also enjoy? (ie. werewolf or other supernatural romance, science fiction which explores alternative biology) basically, how does omegaverse fit into your wider literary tastes?

what do enjoy most about it?

what are some elements you avoid or are critical of?

Any specifics or nuances you want the non-omegaverse reading public to know about

In case anyone is coming across this post without knowing who i am — Hi! I’m a youtuber and I make videos about online subculture, fandom, and such.

Your comment on this post may be read aloud in an upcoming video!! Please specify if you would like me to censor your url or leave it visible.

[awiola]

Normal update, winter XXIV

BUT IT'S NOT WINTER ANYMORE HA! Happy after-equinox to y'all. I planned to write the update in march and it's still technically march but, like, y'know, it's the first day of spring so it feels kind of late, ig? Not that it really matters here and I drew Morana on fire so all is good.

This is not completely [un]related but I'm trying to complete the 'draw sth for 100 days straight' challenge and rn it's going okay though I have to admit I'm being a lazy ass. But hey, a bad sketch a day is still a drawing. Not sure if that's the reason I wasn't able to complete my easter sketch dump but knowing me it wouldn't be finished anyway so whatever ig. AND YES, I WILL DRAW FATHER DAKI ON TIME. I planned to do it when I was drawing Agatha for thug in PE's style but oh well... You'll see both ot these pics on the first of april.

Also, like, in case anyone was interested, I finally decided to learn how to adult and might open comms this year? I tell myself I'll open them since, like, 2020 so yeah. Maybe. I think I will, tho.

Current game stuff

Mushroom game... Yeah... It exists and I technically haven't dropped it but yeah... Yeah... Tbh I even hid the link from my page but it's still public and all... But yeah... It goes into the "finally finish it in 2024, you stupid fuck" list - which, incidentally, is a mouthful so from now on it's gonna be "24 >:C" - together with Enmity and all.

Remember the golem game? Yeah, we don't see its non human form but I did technically draw it. Humanoids are, like, so last decade. It's called Sorcerer's golem and because I was not the lead, we managed to nicely finish it on time ✨ [Unrelated but I wonder what happened to the old unicode emotes, I need to look into it]. There's not really a lot I have to say here, tbh. It's short, it's wholesome, I'm totally not gonna go almost fully lineless again. I almost died and it was only two sprites. Never again proceeds to do that again later anyway.

Some time after, or maybe during, I can't really remember, I heard of Queer Vampire Jam and ofc had to join because I wouldn't be me if I managed to stop myself from joining yet another jam. It just so happened I both felt like shit and read something from my SF gods at the time so I commited this open ended 3k long story and it's, like, really obvious how I felt and what I was reading but then I decided to go yolo and publish it anyway, especially since I got an editor and made laby draw for me. Just had to publish it at that point. Enough about that, though - let's see what is it all about. Vani vani, because Tas tatum was deemed too lame of a name is a story about a [queer obviously] vampire who's kinda dead inside and it shows. I did say it was obvious I felt like shit. I'm not sure if it ended up being too edgy or not... I mean, I made it really obvious it's, like gestures vaguely y'know? I don't wanna spell it out but, like, the theme and everything there was so obvious I'll be disappointed in you if you didn't get it based on the pun title [the other two layers of puns there aren't as obvious] and the page/thumbnail. Unless, of course, you never heard about it at all which might be the case for people from other continents, I wouldn't know. I realise that doesn't say a lot about the contents but I mean, it's more of a progress update, I'm not actually trying to market anything here lol So whatever. It might be the only game ever where I put a whole nsfw scene of a sexual nature... Or it might just be the beginning of my unsexy h scene adventures. I even asked others how to make it as unsexy as possible and I hope I succeed. Going into gore or kink migh be sexy for some but boredom? Probably to no one who actually reads it. And, as is the case with my other personal games, not a lot of people read them. So I think I succeed at that. It's just the beginning of my SF adventures, though. Be prepared.

Now for the thing that might interest the potential reader the most because I saw the statistics and I bet all the follows are alse due to that - Impostor Syndrome. I know the page is pretty much silent but we are working on this. The common route received a lot of notes to make it longer, more cohesive, funnier and possibly better for all the gremlins that wanted a troll mode. Or at least that was the plan. Route wise we had something but after some consideration, it had to be basically scrapped. I won't go into all the details here as for why, but the rewriting of the outline is proceeding. Slowly cause it's kinda hard to find the best time to talk when you have multiple people from different timezones to consider but I think it's looking good. There's a sliiight possibility it might be a bit less vanilla than, like, your typical sfw otome but I don't think any vanilla lover would think it's too much or anything. Not nearly kinky enough for that. I think labelling it as having a soft dom MC might even be false advertising. Maybe. Hell if I know, I suck at tags. But yeah, it's proceeding. Obviously it won't be out during winter but I do think it will be finished this year. Most likely.

From other game stuff... I might have a monster type project made with Ameena for you. Or I might not. The designs are done but is anything gonna come out of them? We'll see. Leaving the possibility open.

I helped Doibats [who I helped with Cool Days before] with some art. This time it's an rpg, currently still in development. The cool art direction is still there so I think it would be worth a play when it's out. I think I'm more of a guest artist than an actual member of the team, though lol But yeah, check it out when it's done, I'll link it then.

Yet another game where I didn't do much - The Villainess Just Wants To Eat!! had its full, official release 🎉 Congrats to the team [check out their gui, btw]. I was mostly helping with this or that due to the usual jam team stuff that happens but yeah. Syd wrote afterstories for the charas, too. They're technically linked on the game's page, too, but you can read them on her tumblr, too.

I kind of forgot to mention, which also ties with my next point, but she hosted the Ossan jam again which I planned to join with my nano project about Wedding crashers but I overestimated my ability to write energetic chaos so... umm... Well, it's not dropped and while it won't get done in time for nano, I think I'll manage before Ossan jam ends. It started as a loose idea that kinda parodied romcoms and then the protag became an AAA battery but also aplatonic and then I got some concepts from tea[? - dunno how they want to be called 'officially' and this one seemed safe but?] and yeah. I'm trying to work on this, though. Even though I feel so stupid attempting to write an anthropologist. Should've stuck to writing mostly what you know like with Vani vani, eehhh... Wish me luck o3o

The last thing, or two, probably, is more of a... forecast? I happened to help with the editing of a certain 18+ otome game but I'm not on the team or anything so I can't really tell you more since I don't know how much should I reveal to the potential player but from what I've seen, the development goes well since they started making it for nano and might actually be finished before Otome jam ends so I'll link it then.

The other thing is that in an unspecified future I might have a yet another AAA battery protagonist, this time replacing the MC of an otome isekai story. I'm not sure how much I'll help with [maybe just editing, maybe we'd become a two person team, who knows] but it has a hight possibility of being developed eventually. No set dates or anything, though.

Pariiish noootiiiceees

Remember Tentacle jam and Insect [adjacent] jam? They're still happening, I'm just being lazy setting the pages up. The working date is from around the middle of august to the middle of october due to all the other jams happening at the time. I think it's the final date, though. It's come to my attention there's also the Monstrous Desires jam that also shares the timeframe almost perfectly so, y'know, why not make a game that lets you join all three of them? Just a thought.

---

My god, this thing became so long. Like half the length of my typical personal project orz I had to add all the Ps and BRs manually. Damn you, html shakes fist

Over.

[yippeecheapdvds]

Last month I read “Fated Mates and Where to Find Them” by AJ Sherwood. Vampire Romance/Queer. Published 2023.

I didn’t enjoy it. It was boring. I wasn’t engaged. The prose were bad, very amateur. The book reminded me of mediocre fanfiction, or my own writing when I was 17. I got about halfway through (page 52/122) before deciding to DNF. I checked the epilogue and gleamed I wasn’t gonna miss anything.

There was to much telling and not enough showing. Zander goes on and on about how cute Max is, and Max talks about how attractive Zander is, or how intimidating he was when he subdued these two thugs, but I absolutely didn’t buy it. The author tells me these things instead of making me feel it through prose. My description of how the characters are feeling in this paragraph is just as provocative as the actual writing.

The characters were so boring. The wealthy vampire Zander is way to perfect. No quirks or flaws. No personality other than “nice”. Same with Max, who was only slightly more interesting. They were not cute or sexy.

None of the vampires felt like vampires to me. They spoke, dressed and acted like bland 20 somethings. All of them. The powers of the vampires weren’t interesting ether. They are fast, strong, drink blood. If they drink to much blood they go crazy and die. Some of them can compell people. That’s about it. No weaknesses, no turning into a bat, no angst, no sparkling in the sun.

Have you ever read one of those “sold to one direction” type fanfics? Where the main character is poor and is sold/sells herself into slavery and then is purchased by some hot rich guy who doesn’t treat her like a slave but instead is a flawless boyfriend who showers her with gifts and falls instantly and wholesomely in love with her despite knowing almost nothing about her. And after the initial phase where the main character is suspicious of her new owner, the slavery part is dropped and barely mentioned again and the story is just a normal romance? Change the girl’s gender and that’s this book.

Max was selling himself into slavery to get money to help his sick father. I got almost halfway through the book before giving up and the father never appeared on screen or was mentioned by name. I feel it was a serious missed opportunity to not show the father earlier, maybe even right at the beginning, to show Max’s love for him and his decision to sell himself rather than having this information be blandly exposited.

There was no connective conflict, internal or external to keep me interested. Things just kept happening. When I read the epilogue it was explaining that some evil lady and some business thing that were never mentioned in the first half of the book were delt with.

I didn’t really want to talk about this but… this book feels fetishistic of gay men. I don’t have hard evidence to point to but a lot of little things gave me this impression and contributed to my decision to DNF.

The one thing I liked was the vampire social system. There’s an original vampire (gen 0) who is super powerful, and the people who he turns into vampires (gen 1) are also very powerful. The people those people turn (gen 2) are slightly less powerful, and so on down until you reach gen 32 who are basically human. It’s a cool idea and not one I’ve seen in vampire media before. Vampire society is also like a family, with the vampire who turned you being your “Sire” and the people you turned being your “children”. It’s a cool idea and one I wish was in a better book.

The book itself was bad. It was boring. But it wasn’t abysmal. And i didn’t hate it.

But I did hate this; When you open the book, after the title, this is the first thing you read.

I mean… come on. This is so amateur. It reeks of immaturity. This author can’t be professional and take her work seriously. It feels like she got her start writing fanfiction and moved to self publishing, but never shook off the fanfiction habits.

If you are AJ Sherwood reading this, and you want to improve, take a writing class, look up writing advice on YouTube, get a writing buddy and/or some beta readers. And most importantly, take yourself and your work seriously. Mature readers pick up on insincerity and it’s the quickest way to make them disengage. This stuff may be fine on AO3 but it doesn’t fly when you’re selling published books.

3/10

[soulbound-central]

I realise I've never actually introduced myself on here, so hey there, welcome to my blog :)

My name is TRees, I go by she/her pronouns, I'm queer and autistic, and I'm writing a book!

The book is called Soulbound! It's my current pride and joy (despite me being only about a quarter of the way through TvT)

I'm not quite sure what genre it falls into, but it has a bunch of fun tropes like enemies to friends to lovers, opposites attract, and a shit ton of warm and wholesome family vibes with flower imagery plastered across the place!

Ironically enough despite being a writer I have no idea how to word this intro TvT so I'll let the summary speak for itself

"28-year-old author Laurel Alderidge is murdered and buried in another man’s grave by his murderer. In the afterlife, the two are now attached to one another by an unbreakable thread. They’ve also discovered that they really don’t like one another. Their solution to this problem? Go back as ghosts, for the sole purpose of convincing the murderer to dig up and re-bury his victim’s body in another place, so that they’re no longer stuck together for all of eternity. But by the end, will they go their separate ways as they planned, or will they stay together for the rest of eternity, this time out of choice?"

Feel free to follow my blog to follow along with the utter nightmare that is writing a book full of dialogue and relationships when you're autistic and cannot communicate with people to save your life!

[crimeronan]

yeah, we don't need to do that anymore!!

i think you're a few years older than me but the feeling is the same -- for me what i remember most is when teen shows in the late aughts would imply a character was gay (derogatory) through homophobic jokes & the character would always deny it like it was The Worst Thing To Be, and i found it funny and validating for gay people's existence to be acknowledged. and then in the early 2010s when i was actually Out, i got attached to SOOO many queerbait relationships that were, like, traditional queerbait -- two straight guys who had constant jokes made about how they were boyfriends, but who would never ACTUALLY be boyfriends, you know. and at the time, that felt like the kindest way i'd ever see gayness represented. when homestuck canonized a gay relationship and a gay character that people had been begging for for Months, only to kill the relationship pages later bc the author really didnt feel like writing it, i REJOICED. that was as good as it was ever gonna get!! that was a high i'd be chasing for the rest of my life!!

and it's not.... like that anymore. i can find thoughtfully-done queer narratives all over the place, i can find queer people discussing their experiences and their art Everywhere. there's such a saturation of three-dimensional gay characters with dynamic arcs that i can find well-done and not-well-done fantasy, sci fi, horror, comedy, coming-of-age, adult literary, etc. i can find stuff where the queerness is a main focus and stuff where it's in the background. i can find stuff where the tropes and the characterization drive me absolutely fucking CRAZY -- hell, i can find stuff that BORES me.

and it is wonderful!

i have a lot of trauma wrapped up in being gay around this time period even without the media stuff -- i came out almost immediately before the gay teen suicides in the US began being publicized in 2010-2011. and that was a point where my hometown was still homophobic enough that the discourse in my classrooms was basically just, "bullying isn't real OR that bad. if you're gonna kill yourself you had something chemically wrong with you in the first place. stop blaming these deaths on people's bad/wrong sexual choices"

i CAN'T live in that world anymore. i'm not going to. oftentimes i'll see the latest wholesome sweet gay thing that the tumblr teens are into and i'll be like, you know what?? i think i'm too old for this now and i want different stuff from the stories i read, so i don't plan to read/watch it. but i LOVE that so many of you guys get to have this when i didn't.

we are all individuals with different tastes in media! there's a lot of media out there! we can consume whatever we want! it's okay!

basically my standards for gay/trans media these days are that it has to be something i'd still enjoy even if none of the characters were gay or trans. bc otherwise the whole thing is a waste of my fucking time. in 2012 i was so starved for gay representation that i'd consume anything that so much as mentioned queerness just to feel less alone but that's not the world we live in anymore and i don't want to go back to that world and i would be miserable continuing to pretend that gayness is the pinnacle of good writing in 2023 it feels so.... gross. i like being spoiled with a rapturous amount of gay content to choose from and plenty of the gay content i DON'T like is beloved by other queer people and i don't have to love every gay narrative or pretend to. so i'm no longer touching any shit that doesn't do the kind of cool storytelling that compels me. i did my years in the trenches.