#never doing that shid again-

[frenchfry99]

💥💥

Behold the most terrifying mobster-

Some scribbles below

(Her existence in this au is 99% a joke)

Lilly dislikes being called Lillian, seeing it as boring and too serious, but is still sometimes called that by her father and oftenly by other mobsters

Same as her original version she loves animals, but can get her paws on more obscure or dangerous ones-

I'd say Lilly is pretty much fearless,to some comedical levels,which gets her in trouble quite often -

(Despite being little there's not much people in the mob who can handle her overly energetic and stubborn personality, but there are still few exceptions)

Literally fighting my demons to let myself post dumb doodles and not only finished pieces-

Just realized I always forget to add the clown nose on her human ver lol

Also og Lilly doesn't know what a dad is but in this au she has two smh (this ver is from mob au where Wally is not the boss). How did she get into the mob? Well it all started whe-💥💥💥💥

[bangcakes]

.

[inkyquince]

another miguel thing?

yeah.

content warning. blood play, anal, a bit feral at times miguel, praise sorta, biting and scratching and general asshole miggy. 2.8k lol.

A SPECIAL thank you for @thelittletoadintheroad and @dokidokirozz for the spanish lessons, on gOD, i would be crying and shidding rn without them right now!

you're not his. He knows that. You were never his, not connected to him in any way. You belong to a different spiderman, another Peter. You. Are. Not. His.

But he wishes you were.

Your Peter refused to join unless you were with him. He didn't fully understand until later. You were that fucking addictive. Miguel was as bad as your Peter at times, seeing him when you were with him, and getting all mopey and fucking annoying when you were gone. Except your Peter wasn't as bad as him. Maybe because he actually had you.

Miguel didn't know when he got so bad. He.... He wasn't bad, not like the villains they were keeping contained, ready to be sent back to their own dimension. He wasn't evil. But at one point, something switched in his brain. You were so fucking good, and he didn't deserve you. Not after what he did, to an innocent girl, to a world of civilians.

He didn't deserve the goodness that came with being with you. You weren't universally beloved, not like the MJs and the Gwens usually are, but Miguel sees you. He sees why someone could rely on you. Sees why someone would go to pieces if they can't return home to you.

Trying to be friends with you doesn't fucking work. Miguel doesn't have proper "work friends" just people he gets along with and people he wants to stay quiet and go do their job. He struggles to remember a time if he actually did have people close to him. Other than...

Fuck.

He wasn't getting any closer to you by trying to be friendly. Not when your Peter was constantly hovering. Miguel was starting to taste blood in his mouth more and more, from dragging his tongue over his canines over and over again whenever he was around. It was worse when you were around.

Soft little thing. He always fucking towered over you. Blood in his mouth, hot and slippery on his teeth as you dropped by momentarily to talk to one of the Spideys. You were always out of reach, tantalising and distant and perfect... And not his.

"Late night?" Miguel was startled, but he didn't show it. His fingers barely even twitched as your voice.

"... Every night is a late night." He didn't turn around to look at you, but his senses were screaming at him.

You were coming closer, gait easy and unafraid, when you really fucking should be.

"That probably sucks for your sleep schedule. You're like a college student hopped up on energy drinks and coffee." You replied easily, leaning against one of the panels just to peer at him.

Miguel's fingers paused for a second, almost feeling the heat radiating off of you.

"... I don't need much sleep." He finally replied, before continuing his work, fingers flying over the keys.

"You could use some."

"What?"

"Sleep, Miguel. You could use some. The bags under your eyes are designer at this point." You continued, at complete ease.

He just gave an unimpressed snort, pausing to rub at his eyes momentarily. Copper. He could taste copper again.

"Or go do something relaxing. Get a drink with the others. Take a spa day. Ever wanted to take up dancing, I kn-"

"Why are you here." Miguel finally snapped. Blood coated his tongue, seeping through his teeth. It wasn't a question, it was a demand for you to fuck off. A plea. "You shouldn't be back here."

"I shouldn't? Was there a sign-"

"Because I'm telling you." Miguel sharply turned around, gritting his teeth and stepping closer to your smaller form. "And you should do what I say, little thing."

The last part slipped out by accident. You would always be tiny compared to his 6'7, broad, muscular frame. He could fucking manhandle you, and he should. Grab you by the neck, drag you out. Grip your upper arm and make you leave. Take both of your wrists in his hand and pin them down and-

"Fuckin hell, Miguel. I'm trying to be your friend and-"

"My friend? I don't need any friends, especially someone like you." Someone like you, who should be kept at home, warming his bed, climbing into his fuckin lap. He doesn't want to be your fucking friend, he wants to be fucking you, licking into your mouth, getting to have you fully and wholly.

"What does that mea-"

"It means that your man should keep a closer eye on you." Miguel hisses, something in his stomach growing. "It means that if I was him, I wouldn't let you wander around, like a little puta perdida."

You stared at him, mouth agape, soft, wet tongue peeking out. On instinct, he dragged his own bloodied one over his white front teeth. Your eyes followed the movement. If you didn't fucking cut it out, he was going to... He was going to...

He was going to sink his claws into your back. His fucking teeth into your throat. Miguel was going to lose it, and become some sort of beast. Some sort of fucking monster.

He licked his canine again. Your eyes flicked to his mouth before focusing on his throat instead.

"... Are you talking about Peter?" You finally asked, feeling his dark eyes burning into your face.

"Who else?" Miguel sneered.

"Peter isn't... He isn't "my man", he''s my friend. So-"

He could hear nothing but static in his ears. Your mouth was moving, words were coming out, but he could only block it all out to focus on that mouth.

"- So no need to be a fucking asshole about it." He clued back in to your words and fixed you with a piercing look. "Got it? Good. I just won't fucking try with you next time."

You turned away from him. You were walking away from him. You didn't get to do that.

One moment you were heading towards the only source of bright light in the room, the door, the next you were slammed up against a console. Thick, tight fingers were gripping the back of your neck, sharp claws digging into the skin and piercing through enough for blood to start seeping from the cuts.

"Migu-"

One palm left its harsh grip on your waist to come around and cover your mouth, his hand big enough to cover over half your face, also covering your nose.

"Déjame sentirte." His broad chest rumbled behind you, voice rumbling like a purr.

All the simmering anger had been replaced with something else... Something that felt far more dangerous. From a snapping predator, on edge, to a playful beast, at ease enough to play with his food.

"Not with him, hm." Miguel was just holding you, down and close, but not doing anything, not yet. You couldn't even reply to him, not with his cool hand pressed against your lips.

You felt his entire body shift, his sharp hips coming to fully rest against your ass, chest pressing tightly against your back, and the tip of his nose resting against your nape. You could hear him inhale deeply, dragging his parted lips over the skin of your neck, breathing you in until his mouth came to rest just behind your ear.

"Quédate quieta por mí ." His voice was hoarse, breath hot against the shell of your ear.

You froze up fully. You had been kinda crushing on the loner, the only Spidey without a sense of humour. It's why you had been bugging him, trying to get him out of his damn shell, but fuck. This situation had fucking escalated so fast, from Miguel being an asshole, to manhandling you over the consoles and his hand slowly drifting from you mouth, down to your stomach. Just carressing slowly, pinching the soft skin a bit, like a lion preparing to claw open the belly of its downed prey.

"Miguel-" You started to whisper, not entirely sure what you wanted to tell him, maybe to stop, maybe to continue, but he hushed you again.

You were half sure that if you actively fought his grip, he'd... He'd let you go. But you stayed still. Let him touch from your stomach, up, to drag his palm over your chest. You began to squirm, the sharp fingertips starting to tickle instead of nick your skin.

"Didn't I tell you to keep still?" Miguel murmured, his lips dragging slowly over your skin before pressing his mouth against the side of your neck.

His tongue drags slowly over your pulse point, tasting the... The fear? The arousal? The exhilaration that ebbs from your skin, the blood beating quickly through your body. The vein underneath the flesh thrummed against his tongue, closing his eyes at the feeling of your fragile little heart pumping your warm blood as fast as it can. He could only sigh before rearing his head back like a cobra and sinking his broad fangs deep into your neck.

You gasp out, breath hitching, ready to let out a scream. But it never comes. It sits underneath your tongue, thick and struggling to slip free. Something cold slips from his fangs, shooting through your veins. Your body totally freezes up, but not from fear.

Miguel had paralyzed you. His venom sinks into your muscles, leaving your skin tingling and everything from your hear to your lungs slowed.

"Better." He murmured, more to himself than you, his other hand finally letting go of you to join the other in exploring your body.

Eventually, he gets sick of feeling you up over your clothing. With just a flick of his thumb, he slices through your shirt, and makes a sizeable opening of your trousers. Miguel simply drags his large hands over your chest, down to your stomach to your hips, but he focuses on getting your trousers down to your ankles.

"Nice underwear." He sounded more amused than you had ever heard him. Like the person he used to be.

The pros of wearing plain, bland underwear, you guess.

Hooking his thumb under the side of your underwear, he easily dragged it down to your thighs, and left them there. As he dragged the tip of his nose over your freshly freed legs, he parted his lips slightly, just to inhale your scent slowly. It was embarrassing, the way he was practically breathing in your taste and smell.

"You're getting excited." Miguel dragged his tongue over his canine, eyes fixed on your crotch. He could fucking smell it. The sweet slick slipping past your cute slit. Like pearls.

He wants to have a taste.

Swiping his thumb over the opening, he gathered enough to get a tangible taste when he stuck it into his mouth, sucking it clean.

"Deliciosa." Miguel murmured, mostly to himself. "Pero no tanto como tú sangre."

He dragged his thumb over you again, tasting a bit more but seemed to lose interest after a while, taking a keen interest in something else.

"This is too tight for you to not be a virgin here." His wettened thumb dragged over your untouched asshole, digging in his nail enough to slip past the tight ring.

A whine slips from your throat and you can feel Miguel's thumb flex inside of you, as if on instinct. He slowly pulls his finger back out, instead squeezing at your ass to part them. You could only feel his hot breath at first, before his tongue dragged roughly over your rim. You sounded so good to him, making those soft noises, slipping past your paralyzed lips. After a few more licks, he finally pressed the tip of his tongue inside of you.

He was always more of an ass man, and getting to roughly tongue fuck your hole was doing things to him, thing he hadn't felt for a hot moment. His cock strained against his spider suit, precum leaking through the material. God, he always wanted to fuck you. He wanted you so badly, but of course his thoughts would lead to him imagining how exaclty he'd have you. You'd be the reason he finally goes back to a shitty apartment, to lie down on top of you and finally rest. Let your thighs take care of his hard cock, before he presses his cock inside of you to cockwarm until he woke back up and got to fuck you properly. Miguel always supposed he should feel guilty to think of a Peter's partner like that, but now? It didn't fucking matter. He'd have taken you eventually either way, but now he doesn't have to banish one of his Spiderpeople to their dimension and strand you here.

Here with him. Making those cute little noises as he sucked on your puffy rim, teasing the poor nerves. Some part of him thought they he should wait till you're unparalyzed, so you could tell him if you even wanted to fuck your asshole open. But he waited too long.

Miguel dragged his claws over your cheeks, creating raised, puffy red lines, small dots of red seeping through. He needed to mark you. He wanted to have your body covered in bites and scratch marks, hidden with your clothes, but he would know. He would fucking know every inch of skin, every part you would deem too embarrasing for him to see, and every part he'd demand to explore.

It was getting too much. His cock was hard and aching and needed to be fucked into you until you could only take him.

"Relajate por mi." Miguel finally straightened up, a ghost of a sarcastic smile dancing on his lips.

Sick fucker.

"No voy a dejar que te vayas." He whispered, voice throaty and low. "No hasta que conozcas la forma de mi polla dentro de ti. Understand?"

He wasn't really listening for a confirmation. You listened to the sound of his suit shifting, an appreciative hum as his fat cockhead tapped against your hole.

"Take a deep breath." Miguel ordered you, the tip of his cock already slowly pressing in. "I'm not going to stop. Not now. So relax."

His cock was too fucking big, even with the tongue job he gave your ass. He drank in the sight of his fat erection, already stuffing your hole, even with just a quarter of it pressing in. You couldn't even hold back the moans, the heat in your stomach numbing your brain. Everything so fuzzy, with the only thing keeping you grounded being your ass being stretched wide open.

"Fuck." Miguel breathed, pressing into you all in one go, the only resistance coming from how tight you were.

He finally bottomed out, his balls pressing against your crotch. You could even feel how full and throbbing they were, ready to be spilled into you. Going to ruin you for any other man. Get with anyone else, and you'll be thinking of him as they try to fuck into you.

Miguel didn't wait. Immediately, he was fucking into you, balls slapping against your sweating skin, your mixed precum dripping down your thighs. You wanted to cling to him. You wanted to call his name. You wanted to let him pick you up and pin you down and fuck into you like a beast. Scratch and bite and breed your poor ass till you couldn't feel anything but the shape of him ingrained within you.

"Mine now." He breathed, digging his clawed thumbs into the small of your back, letting blood seep out and slither down, towards where his cock was fucking into your ass roughly.

A dark red rim begin to form along with the creamy white precum around his cock. It was fucking beautiful. His hole. All for him. He didn't even care if you did have someone, even if that someone wasn't Peter. He was going to steal you away from the world, keep you locked away if he had to. The outside world had already taken enough from him, and you weren't going to be another thing.

Poor you. Miguel hadn't been intimate with someone else in a long fucking time. He had you in there for long enough that the next shift of people started, but no one dared to intrude in his space. He'd maul anyone who stepped through that door. You were all his now, as the poison wore off, and you let him carry all your weight when you slumped against him. You could feel the stretch in your ass, you could feel all the marks from his claws.

The most distracting, was every time Miguel sought your lips out with his, languidly pressing his tongue in, just to taste you.

You weren't going to go anywhere, not when he would always be three steps behind you.

puta perdida- lost bitch

Déjame sentirte- let me feel you

Quédate quieta por mí- stay still for me

Pero no tanto como tú sangre- Not as tasty as your blood

Relajate por mi- Relax for me

No voy a dejar que te vayas. No hasta que conozcas la forma de mi polla dentro de ti- I'm not letting you leave. Not until you know the shape of my cock inside of you.

[minquiec]

The Grim Reaper and The Swallow Au

- unproofreaded unchecked everything I wrote this at 1 am yall

(The grim reaper idea is inspired from goblin hahshahsh)

---

Basically the concept of grim reaper is that they used to be people but died and became reapers (idrk why yet)

They retain some of their personalities and stuff but they essentially cannot remember who they are and can't/or unable to question who they used to be

They're also wired to focus on their sole purpose which is to take things who have died into the afterlife (includes animals)

But hb is an exception while he does do what he's supposed to do, he isn't fully committed to it (so that it's still somewhat movie accurate personality with the whole not following order thing HAHSHA)

So essentially the afterlife entities don't exactly like him and humans (that r on verge of death) don't like him cause uknow no one wants to DIE (minus those few exceptions where it's like a nice old grandma dying of old age ueueu)

In terms of what jia is she's like,,,idk a swallow that can shape shift (some magic bs and animal spirits and stuff)

In this world, there are like a select few animals that can shape shift/are sentient (BECAUUUSEE they also used to be humans but we're reborn. The idea is human --> died unfairly --> given a second chance to turn into a shape shifter --> if they do good/don't do anything outrageously bad in the shape shifter life then they are able to be reincarnated into humans in the next life [the bar isn't very high bc they died unfairly in the previous life.])

The animals are primarily animals and can't maintain human forms for that long and generally takes alot of energy to do so

They can also see other supernatural entities but doesn't mean they are necessarily friendly with all of them

So one day hb and jia meet cause yknow Heeheehaahaa

And bc hb is used to other things being scared of him (grim reaper stuff) he's a little confused why she hasn't run/flown away yet.

"aren't you scared, little dove?"

ASKKSKDKDKDK

And jia just like IM A SWALLOW 😨

But basically jia isn't scared cause generally swallows r optimistic and all around good vibes all the time becaaauuusueee swallows, as google says, represent good luck, safe travels, happiness, and positivity.

And she's like haha that's cause ik it's not my time to go yet!!

And he's like well how would you know that

And she's just cause I have good luck

(she's so dumb istg I love my daughter)

So now they start an odd friendship between the grim reaper and a swallow 🔥

And then to the angst bits

Basically it's probably at the very end of their time tgt

And it's approaching winter and jia is supposed to migrate

But she doesnt

Cause she wants to stay here beccccauuuuuuussssseeee she's on her last legs

She dying brouh so it means if she migrates she'll never see him again

But hb doesn't know this cause grim reapers are only told of the few minutes before the exact moment someone dies

And some other shid I haven't figured out happens and basically how they end is like two ways

One is the reincarnation pathway woohoo where jia dies as a swallow and hb takes her to the afterlife (sadly) and after a couple of hundred years probably she is reincarnated but he can never approach her again like he did before

Oorrrr we can go with

Hb essentially refuses to take her into the afterlife (cause he doesn't rlly follow his duties like I said) and both of them are by other grim reapers

At least they die tgt amirite 😄

[sparkles-and-trash]

It’s 3 am, Zelder just shidded all over my living room floor bc she’s having a stomach bug

Then when I finally finished cleaning it with toilet paper and bleach it CLOGGED MY TOILET, so I had to clean my entire bathroom with bleach as well bc EW and had to take the garbage out at 3 am in the rain

When I came back in the toilet was good again thank god but I had to go over the floors once more to be safe and I’m FINALLY back in bed and I just know it’ll probably happen at least once more tonight and there’s nothing I can do bc if she doesn’t make it, she doesn’t make it and that’s not her fault but like DAMN

And now, bc she had the accident, she keeps wanting to go out every 10 minutes bc she thinks she MIGHT need to, but never actually do, but I can’t find it in myself to not take her out just in case, so that’s it all night ig

[femmikoto]

zombie au 0909-centric fic that im currently working on the third part of

amidst the end of the world, the winds of change never stop blowing; and yet, some things remain eternal.

---------------------------------------------------------

When Mikoto comes to, it's only him in front.

It takes him a minute to realise he's conscious, a dull headache making it difficult for his eyes to focus as he rubs his forehead and hazards a glance at his surroundings. He's sat on the floor of someone's living room, his back against the couch of a long-since unoccupied apartment, based on the layout and the way former possessions have been left broken or gathering dust. Anxious, Mikoto's attention immediately shifts to the front door, panic soothed when he sees that John's already blocked it using old furniture to prevent any unwanted intrusions.

... John. He must have taken over for a while.

Through the fog that clouds his brain, Mikoto tries to remember where he was before waking up here, what he was doing before his headmate stepped in.

He... He thinks he was scavenging for painkillers at a trashed pharmacy. There's a vague recollection of him knocking over one of the displays and making a ruckus, alerting the undead outside to his presence. A few of them had shambled into the store- Mikoto can't remember exactly how many, maybe three or four- And amidst the tall and narrow aisles, he'd ended up cornered with only his rucksack and baseball bat in hand. He recalls the onset of a panic attack, the fear that this was how it was all going to end...

... So that's when he must have...

Glancing to his right, Mikoto looks at the bat in question- It's never strayed far from his side since the beginning of the outbreak. Fresh viscera paints the dulled metallic surface, coagulating as it dries and confirming his suspicions.

John saved them again. Like he always does.

Mikoto doesn't understand how he keeps doing it, and he suspects that he's happier not knowing, but every time he's made a life-endangering mistake it's been John who's swooped in and done the cleaning up.

... It's only been them since the start of this.

There's not many solo survivors left from what he understands, but that was the thing; even if he outwardly appeared to just be one person tackling the end of the world, Mikoto had never been alone. Where he had once feared John and everything he represented, nowadays he was closer than ever to the man in his head, even unexpectedly enjoying his company within the inner world or whenever John joined him in co-fronting. You'd think there'd be little that could put a smile on your face during the apocalypse, but his conversations with John really did make existing in a world like this far more bearable. Who would've thought this guy had such a good, albeit snarky sense of humour?

All that time and effort Mikoto had sunk into perfectly assimilating into society had been for nothing once it fell apart, but John had remained. Never tried to cause him harm. Never faltered in his feelings, and never expected anything in return.

... John's feelings...

He still remembers the matter-of-fact way in which John expressed his affections back when Mikoto had first begun acknowledging his existence, like it was as natural as breathing or sleeping. He's never understood how John could feel that way in the first place, knowing Mikoto's heart so thoroughly- Every bit of anger he refused to admit to, every curse he secretly wished upon others, all of the ugliest parts of him- How was it that the one person in the world he couldn't hide these things from could love him regardless?

... Love.

He's known John loved him since before the world became a living hell.

So then... At what point during this train of thought had his face gotten so hot, and why...?

----------------------------------------------------

"If your method of combat is one that requires so much physical exertion, at least let me give you a once-over. For his sake, if not your own."

It seems Shidou's words had given John pause, and he'd ultimately relented to letting the stranger give their body a partial checkup- That is, the best Shidou could manage with a lack of equipment and medical history to refer to. When he's finished, John puts some distance between them in the trashed gas station they and the others have taken refuge in; John keeps claiming he's not joining their little group, but it's been a few days since their paths crossed and he's yet to go anywhere. Near the back of the store, Amane, Haruka, Mahiru and Kazui sleep on the floor whilst the two men continue the night watch.

The former surgeon sits on an empty wooden crate that's been turned upside-down, while John perches on the counter next to the register. Silence hangs over them for a while; neither of them are particularly good conversationalists.

Well, Shidou was, once. But it seems grief has a funny way of taking that from you.

"... l've never met anyone with your condition before."

"Wowww. First time I've heard that one," John quips sarcastically, digging in his pocket for a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. In comparison to Kazui, who seemed to value Shidou's company whenever the two of them shared a smoke break, John's engagement in the habit is wholly anti-social.

Shidou continues, patience unwavering. In the few days they've known each other, he's discovered the best way to get this man talking is bringing up one of two subjects- Survival, and Mikoto.

"Have the two of you been together for some time?"

John lights his cigarette silently, but Shidou notices the slight change in his posture, the way his usually intimidating gaze becomes just a bit softer at the mention of his host. Though with how John had been fronting most of the time, the group had only encountered Mikoto himself with in the last day or so; a friendly, cooperative young man, so different from the person Shidou's currently talking to despite sharing the same face.

"... I was around before things went to shit, if that's what you mean."

"I'm referring to your relationship."

Another pause in the conversation. John always seems reluctant to talk about himself, but if Mikoto's attached to the topic, it seems to come a little easier to him.

"... He knew how I felt about him. But he's the awkward type about that sorta thing. Not that I cared. I just want him to be happy." He takes a drag of his cigarette, holding the smoke on his tongue for a moment before exhaling.

Shidou waits for him to continue.

"But after the world fell apart... After all the times I saved our ass, he started returning the feeling. Decided that life was too short not to give it a shot." Never thought the happiest day of my life would occur during the fucking apocalypse, he thinks to himself.

"He told you his feelings had changed?"

"He didn't have to. I felt it." John smirks a little, almost sounding smug about the fact- The way he knows Mikoto's heart better than anyone could ever hope to.

"... I see. So happiness can be found even in a situation like this."

"It's more than happiness. It's love."

Shidou can't help smiling at how nonchalantly John says that. How proud he is to love Mikoto, and to be loved in turn.

"You sound like Shiina-san."

"Shut up."

[thenames11037]

FUCK ME I FINALLY FINISHED THIS

I am shidding and crying this is 42 fucking characters from every magical girl roleplay I've ever done. OCs? Canon characters? Self inserts? TF2? Who cares? They're all fucking here!

Starlight Precure (2017), Precure x OCs

Ahni's Wish (2018-2019) Madoka Magica x Aphmau + OCs

Spirit (brown-haired hot topic angel) created by my friend Ryan

Poptart (Cotton candy catgirl) created by blue ink#7005 on discord

Gris and Pop's AU hopping adventures (2020) Original story

Poppy (Strawberry blonde catgirl) created by blue ink#7005 on discord

The Mahoutantei Games (2023) Madoka Magica x Danganronpa + OCs

Haruhi (Green-haired magical girl) created by jadetheidiot#3991 on discord

MARS Mystic (2023) Original Story

Big Hero Magica (2023) Madoka Magica x Big Hero 6 + OCs

Aimi (Girl with sweater and white bow leaning against Hiro) by 𝓌𝓇𝑒𝓃#8257 on discord

Silas (Cowboy) by goose love bot#8051 on discord

Aika (Heterochromia magical girl wearing blue and gold) by 𝓌𝓇𝑒𝓃#8257 on discord

Kurimi (Purple-haired magical girl with blindfold) by 𝓌𝓇𝑒𝓃#8257 on discord

Quick sidenote: I'm super proud of how Clara (dark red-haired witch) came out. I studied so many of those fucking "how to tell AI from real art" things just to convincingly make her look AI generated because her labyrinth theme is AI generation.

And yes, here's the sketch as proof that she was actually drawn by me and not Craiyon or some shit.

TF2 characters I was dared to add by my friend MangoPineapple3#4111 on discord

THIS PROJECT WAS HELL AND I HOPE TO NEVER DO IT AGAIN

he lied

[justbeeemojicoz]

I've been hunting this LITTLE SHID for the past week, I swear I am never doing full odds shiny hunting ever again. I don't care if it's too easy, just give me my sandwiches back.

[lokahjarta]

Ik I really don't go crazy abt fandom on this blog but holy fuck if I am so deep in AOT's pussy i'm actually unstable abt it.

under the cut for the insane ramblings of a madman

Two tattoos and I already know what happens and I'm still here not watching the last ep bc I know I'll be crying/shidding/throwing up/removing my skin with a potato peeler/eating the drywall/snorting fiberglass/etc. etc. It's just it's them it's them it's them it's them it's always been them I knew it was him I would know him anywhere in a thousand lifetimes in a thousand stories I would know you anywhere/anywhere/anywhere.

Ten fucking years and I REMEMBER . I REMEMBER the moment i SAW him and my blood went COLD I KNOW YOU. I KNOW YOU. HOW CAN I KNOW YOU? how is that possible - why here? Why you? I was too young and inexperienced to put together the reasons for the feeling but I chased it because it sat in me so uncanny, so strange, so horrifying - like coming home. Coming home to a place you saw in a dream. Unfamiliar and deeply personal all at once. Yes, I know you, I've seen you before -

And TEN YEARS my story unravels and so too do those parallels become crystal fucking clear -

It has always been You.

A thousand stories. A different face. A different name. But I'd know you anywhere

You Could Never Hide From Me!!! I will find you!! I promised!

Now everyone knows. They should know who you really are. Toothy grin. One eyed suicidal bastard. Roarer. Hveðrungr. Screamer. Devourer. Destroyer. Worldbreaker. Naglfar. The beginning of all things. And the end.

I'll see you again.

[airadam]

Episode 182 : The People's Music

"I never did a dance for a dollar..."

- Buckshot

This month we don't shift into high gear in terms of tempo at any point, topping out at around 90, so those of you experiencing actual summer don't overheat! We've got some absolutely fire new releases in the mix alongside some versions that you might never have heard, plus some deep album cuts. We start things off with just such a track - if you don't own the album, I'd be willing to bet you've never heard it...never let it be said this is a show that leans on the obvious records!

Still a few tickets left to see Phat Kat at The Hip Hop Chip Shop on August 4th, plus me playing a special Detroit warmup set!

Mastodon : @airadam@mastodon.me.uk

Twitch : @airadam13

Playlist/Notes

Above The Law ft. Kokane : Rain Be For Rain Bo

RIP KMG, who passed away twelve years ago this month. In a season where we maybe haven't had the sunshine we expected, this seemed like an appropriate choice - a downtempo but funky piece from the well-respected LP "Uncle Sam's Curse", Above The Law's third. Cold 187um not only produced the track but also provides the scene-setting first verse, while his cousin Kokane is on the hook, and KMG's second verse builds on the perfect setup. A lot of people were not ready to digest this LP fully when it came out, but if you have time to take a front-to-back listen, especially if you appreciate the West Coast sound, then do - you'll be rewarded.

Tavaras Jordan : Change, Pt. 2 (The Last Thing)

A beautifully smooth instrumental from this talented Hip-Hop and R&B producer out of North Carolina, taken from his short - but very sweet - 2019 "Manifest Destiny" album. Anything with this man's name on is worth a listen!

GZA : Animal Planet

The streets are a jungle, and nature is gangster. Another in GZA's series of themed tracks that started with "Labels" on "Liquid Swords", this grand-sounding Bink and Tyquan Walker-produced cut from "Legend Of The Liquid Sword" allows the Genius to demonstrate once again how he can build a concept track like few others. 

Jay-Z ft. Damian Marley : Bam

One of my good friends always plays this track before job interviews, because these people have to "know who they F'in with", to quote Jay-Z! This collaboration with Damian Marley from the "4:44" LP is one of my personal highlights of that release, and the producer No I.D. goes straight to a reggae classic to provide the raw material, the mighty "Bam Bam" by Sister Nancy. 

Black Moon : General Feva

The "Rise Of Da Moon" album, Black Moon's first after a sixteen-year layoff, seemed to go under-appreciated by many, but I for one was very pleased to see the Brooklyn legends release that LP in 2019. Da Beatminerz on production of course, for some slow, loping boom-bap that is a little dark for summer perhaps, but perfect for this slide towards some sandpaper-type roughness.

Cut Beetlez x Bronx Slang : I'm Not Chillin

If the last track was raw, this is the cow still wandering around in the field! Finland's Cut Beetlez production team linked up with the always-NY Bronx Slang for a brand new EP, from which this is the title cut. As soon as Jerry Beeks told me it was out I had it in my headphones and even after repeated listens, I knew this was the track to go with right here! The sonics snarl, thump, and grind, and yet you can hear every word from the MCs, who just seem to keep getting better with time and can give you the business regardless of the pace of the track.

[J-Zone] Al-Shid : Fight Club (Instrumental)

He may be a full-time and high-quality drummer now, but I'll always remember the originality J-Zone brought to Hip-Hop production for so many years. There's no-one who sounded quite like him, and this instrumental of a track from Al-Shid's debut single is a great example - some might say quirky, but in terms of quality, very serious.

Conductor Williams & Boldy James : Flying Trapeze Act

Too many people think that street rap and lyrical creativity can't go together, but this song from the "Across The Tracks" LP by Kansas City producer Conductor Williams and Detroit's Boldy James, thankfully still with us after a serious accident, have both in spades. The Conductor's track clearly treats its original sample in a pretty extreme fashion (you can hear the warbling which the processing likely introduced) but then adds the subtlest of kick-snare to quietly drive it along, and the vocals left in just add extra soulful flavour beneath Boldy's voice. As he moves between straight description, metaphor, and simile - especially the last punchy one in the hook that gives the track its title - Boldy James puts in excellent work.

El Michels Affair ft. Raekwon : The PJs (Instrumental/Vocal)

I needed to lead with the instrumental just to provide a nice bridge in, but it's always a pleasure to hear the brilliant El Michels Affair play! This is a re-recording of the track "The PJs" from Pete Rock's 2008 LP "NY's Finest" - no Masta Killa this time, but Raekwon returns to do his verses over with some small changes. El Michels Affair, in turn, base their instrumental performance around the way Pete Rock worked the original sample, but with some subtle flourishes. "The PJs...From Afar" is a 12" single well worth adding to your collection.

Da Beatminerz ft. Black Moon : Anti

Black Moon again, because why not? This time we go with their appearance on the new Da Beatminerz project "Stifled Creativity" (bearing in mind that Evil Dee of Da Beatminerz is also an actual member of the group) for one of the highlights of the LP. Over a slow, reflective, almost funereal take on the groove best known from Souls of Mischief's "93 'Til Infinity", Buckshot speaks on his journey as an independent artist and label owner (Duck Down) in a straightforward manner while maintaining that trademark flow. To maintain a thirty-plus year independent career through the changes in the industry is quite a feat - salute.

O.C. : This Is Me

This is a track I've always enjoyed, but which I think escaped a lot of people's notice. A selection from the overlooked "Smoke And Mirrors" LP, O.C.'s fifth, it's a track where he speaks on his career-long determination to follow his own path and ignore the trends - in fact, it's spiritually very close to the Beatminerz/Black Moon track that precedes it here. Mike Loe takes a late-70s soul sample, turns the speed up a touch and provides an excellent musical backdrop for the lyrics.

MF DOOM : Dead Bent (Original 12" Instrumental)

If you know the "Operation Doomsday" LP but not this, it would sound like an overstatement to say that the version of "Dead Bent" on the album is a "refined" version of anything, as rough-and-ready as the whole release is, but you can hear that this original is even more beautifully unpolished. Self-produced by the late great DOOM, you can find this not only on the original 12" mentioned in the title, but also on some later reissued versions of the album, containing alternate versions, B-sides, and instrumentals - essential for the DOOM fan.

Dubbul O & Cutterz : Stay Gold

Stellar new release out of Manchester, with this familiar duo (and half of Voodoo Black) headlining their new "Stay Gold" EP with this title track. If you've lost someone close, this one will hit you hard, with Dubbul O's deeply personal lyrics coming through strong over Cutterz' production which is somehow both optimistic and moody at the same time. Definitely check for that five-track EP.

Mecca:83, Phat Kat, and Guilty Simpson : Don't Stop

Exclusive! *Sounds airhorn* Manchester's own Mecca:83 blessed me with a copy of this as-yet unreleased track, with his warm and bumping production backing up two giants of the Detroit scene, Phat Kat and Guilty Simpson. Two cities famous for their industries come together for a great musical union!

Dilated People : The Main Event

I'll be honest - of the three tracks on the classic underground "Work The Angles" 12" single, this is the one I play the least, but the Alchemist-produced middle track on the release (also on 2000's "The Platform" LP) definitely deserves respect. Rakaa Iriscience steps all the way back here and makes space for Evidence to get busy on both verses. The samples of some of the Hip-Hop greats for the hook rounds off the whole package nicely.

Nas & Statik Selektah : Dead Presidence

(That's not my spelling, it's what they printed on the labels of "The Prophecy EP"!) Jay-Z and Ski famously sampled the "presidents that represent me" line from Nas' "The World Is Yours" for "Dead Presidents" on the classic "Reasonable Doubt", but on this track Statik Selektah reverses the game and blends the vocals from the Nas track with Ski's instrumental, and while the original is a flawless cut, these two pieces do fit together beautifully as well.

Marco Polo : Ps & Qs (Remix Instrumental)

MPC magic from Marco Polo, from his entry in the "Baker's Dozen" producer series, with clean drums, a live-sounding bass, and guitar licks placed to perfection.

Camp Lo ft. Jungle Brown : Hold On

I've always loved the way this track ends, and as such thought it needed to be played in a position where that portion can be heard uninterrupted. It's not just the closing track here but also the finisher on the 2009 "Stone And Rob : Caught On Tape" album. Jungle Brown is one of the few MCs to make repeated features with the Lo, and he does his thing alongside the legendary Sonny Cheeba and Geechi Suede while also co-producing it with Apple Juice Kid. If you're a fan of the group, definitely seek out this release as there are some absolute heaters on there, including the back-to-back of "On Smash" and "89 of Crime".

Please remember to support the artists you like! The purpose of putting the podcast out and providing the full tracklist is to try and give some light, so do use the songs on each episode as a starting point to search out more material. If you have Spotify in your country it's a great way to explore, but otherwise there's always Youtube and the like. Seeing your favourite artists live is the best way to put money in their pockets, and buy the vinyl/CDs/downloads of the stuff you like the most!

Check out this episode!

[frenchfries02]

(1) I then started.

I dreamed a lot while sleeping, before waking up. The day's too cold this time. Dreams activate for me whenever I sleep for the 2nd time. First thing that came to mind, going out of bed, was to finish my rough drafts for our upcoming report in college. But our freaking potato shid PC sucks, it died 2 times while writing for my stuffs. Thank goodness my brother was a geek in fixing that PC of ours, cus he was using my laptop for his classes as well. I waited for him for like 30 min or so. He decently plugged out & in the ram stick and brushed off some dust inside the CPU.

Then tenen, it was fixed, it doesn't die anymore. In the middle of doing it, Goddamnit, I felt something. It came * facepalm * my freaking ketchup days ( basically red days for gurls, u know what I mean * wink * ). Thankfully after that, me and my partner for the report finished the drafts that were going to put for the PowerPoint.

It was decent, and thank thy thee's I will be able to take a breather, my pending works wouldn't be that much because I was already getting dizzy from low blood and migraine because of the ketchup volcano and my blurry vision. Then my bf dm'ed me uwu hoho. What a motivation for me. We talked ofc and I am going to keep those momental gems huehue. Then I washed the dishes, my mom asked for me to chop the recipes for our upcoming dinner, and then I took a nap.

I got interrupted again from the cold, slept in 5pm - 7pm and got woken up by cold. It was a climate change from our country. The cold that was supposed to be in December, got delayed and moved to January to February haha. Crazy. I know.

Then I saw my favorite author, posting the promotion of his book 2 collector's edition. Even though I still wanted to sleep, I watched it because I love his book. It was also illustrated from amazing artist that's why I was also entertained. I love art. My sleepy head got away because of it but I'm so sad because I don't haaavveee enoughh money huhu. To buy that edition :< .

My boyfie chatted again, welp ofc. Babe time again. Omo. He really wanted to date again but I am having my ketchup days and I'm so very not in the mood and I have class tomorrow. But still.. I agreed, we're all gonna die anyways haha why not spend the time right, we never know what comes after some days. I told him as well this time that I dreamed about him us riding a bike something etc.. we nearly got into an accident in that dream. He compared it to his dream as well before, same thing happened and same place. He said that dreams are indeed weird. I agreed.

It was an exhausting day. I am still badly craving for sleep and french fries. Life is short. I hope mine would be shorter tomorrow XD.

[kaay-hoop-blog]

Yeaa I’m never doing that shit again and it may be shallow but shid none of them bitches look better than me, fwm on any level, never will be. Just gotta remember that

[minquiec]

stupid jipunk highschool things

Mostly prior getting tgt cause they're so fxking dumb and ARHGGG

- there's this one time where jia went and did her nails as red and white for fun but secretly it was to match his hair and so she's like walking around school w her new nails and hb pulls up like 'omg love ur candy cane themed nails 😆😆' but the problem is it was the middle of like july. people around them were like r u deadass rn 🗿 and jia kicks him like 'U IDIOT 👹' CAUSE SHES EMBARRASSED HE PERCEIVED HER (she was gonna get embarrassed either way cause when it comes to him she acts a little unwise and silly) and so she like walks off and he's just ???? but afterwards someone probably spells it out for him 😮 ohhhh 😳🤯 cause he's so dumbwbdjwndnw and then later that night she probably posted a insta story w her nails showing AND ITS RLLY DUMB CAUSE SHE DEFINITELY POSTED IT TO LONDON BOY LIKE GIRL UR SO OBVIOUS ATP PLEASE but he probably sees it and starts being dumb and doing that thing where u kinda go insane in ur bedroom and screaming into ur elbow EITHER WAY THE BOTH OF THEM ARE DOING THAG CAUSE RHEYRE SO DUMB AND SO STUPID AND I HAGE THEM he probably took a screenshot

- speaking of her insta, reiterating the fact he probably stalks it, he does this thing where like he'd click on a post and then immediately throws it across his room cause akdnksjdja@)#!# so his phone has a shit ton of cracks in it I doNT CARE THIS SEEMS OOC IM ALLOWED TO MAKE SILLY CONTENT ABT HIM ITS WHAT HE DESERVES HE NEEDS TO BE SILLY SOMETIKES TOO

- they're that type of like couple u see in manga where it's really fuqqing obvious they have the worlds biggest fattest crush on each other to absolutely everyone and everything except for themselves because dumb teenage crushing which is so dumb and so stupid and they're so dumb and so stupid and I hate them so. muchj

- they're in the same class and he sits behind her unfortunately (or fortunately depending on how u look at it) so he's 90% always like sprawling across his desk or he's leaning reaaaally down his chair cause his lanky ass could reach her desk cause he's a little shid and always pestering her 😬 like if he's leaning forward he'd poke her with the back of his pen and if he's leaning back he'd be tapping on the leg of her chair cause he's so dumb and annoying and has such a big fat funking crush it's a little ridiculous at this point I hat e thhh em (x2)

- both of them are actually equally popular cause they don't rlly hang in cliques and are just nice to everyone but her version of nice is different from his version 😭❓❓ idk how to word it SHES LIKE A ☺️👌✨ NICE AND THEN HES JUST A 💥💥😆🔥🗣️🔇🔊🔇🔊🔇 NICE ??? he's a hypeman that's what he is

- there's literally no rhyme or reason for why she started liking him bc it's y'know that situation in highschool where ur literally minding ur business and then you see this one person in ur class too much and ur like okay no hang on. 🛑 but yea it's she literally went like "okay there's this guy in my class who's kinda loud okay whatever 😑" and then a week passes and she's like "omg he's so annoying isn't his face just so annoying like I hate the way I have to break my neck to talk to him omg I just never wanna talk to him again cause he's so annoying" and then flash forward again and this time she's like "ugh I hate his stupid ass stupid face stupid laugh stupid stupid stupid

wait.🧍

Like it's actually so dumb.

And the thing is he wasn't even initially trying to annoy anyone or whatever he's just like that but after he caught feels he started being the most intolerable idiot ever to her half on purpose half not

- actually going back on the 'everyone knows they have a crush except for themselves' thing I think at one point they probably did suspect the other also returned the feelings but they just never said anything cause awkward teenage shids

- so. So much of vague highschool flirt tactics it's dumb. Like it's the kind where like you ask to compare hand sizes or smth or otherwise it's she 'accidentally' squeezed too much hand lotion and smears some on his hand or buying extra snacks LIKE they're. Just so

So

So stupid I can't

They r just rlly silly and give me a lot of cuteness aggression and I kinda wanna squeeze them to death silly silly goofy teenage crushing argh

[kutputli]

Episode 3 -

Oh my heart. I was going to just watch this for Armand you guys. Like, ironic watching. But Louis going to just going to piece me to the bone there. ( For people smugly gloating about how they have been raving about the show for eons yes sure ok, but also - this is more gore than I'm confortable with. I've been using the subtitles to keep my eyes from fully watching things, so if people are on the fence about it, might be helpful to provide gore trigger warnings.)

It's a bit hard to liveblog such lovely meaty episodes because I feel like going back to review everything that happened so I can go scene by scene. And its already 1 am. I'm vastly enjoying every Dubai interaction, but I wish I knew how I would feel about it if I wasn't spoiled to the gills with knowledge of where these people will end. Louis chides 'ruh-sheed' (so weird, like, living in Dubai with an almost entirely South Asian serving staff, to not pronounce it Raa-shid?) and Rashid does a pert little moue. He definitely comes across with a weird little vibe that is very different from the human staff. And canny old Daniel picked up on it in the very first episode with his ' so is he just a secretary or are you also fucking him' needling.

I do not think that those voice recordings are erased, especially because Daniel digitised them at home before he flew to Dubai.

But moving back to New Orleans.

I'm copying what I said in another reblog of this to quark -

I think I find Lestat's reaction weird because by now I too find Louis very attractive, but its his kindness and gentleness that engages me. Him with Lily moved me to so much affection. Whereas Lestat got turned on when he saw Louis snapping under stress and getting mad at his brother. That moment is not how Louis would want to be defined as, and it is not a characteristic enough moment to be representative of him. One could say that Louis was decieved, but I would rather say that he saw something desirable without bothering to find out if it was real. Oh, the angry Black man being physically violent to another Black man was what attracted you Lestat? Really? And you expect us to praise your discerning eye and sophisticated loins?

(The perceptive reader here will observe that I enter this viewing with a lot of preexisting animus towards Lestat. This is not a feature that will be changing in any way.)

And this episode cements this. Underlines it brutally. Lestat fell in lust with an entirely constructed image of Black masculinity, and at every fucking turn, Louis chooses gentleness. (aaaaaaa my heaaaaart)

I see you shoutout to Moonlight, but also - what a fundamental misunderstanding of even Louis' sexual desires, for Lestat to think he is attracted to loud, rough white soldiers, when what Louis was desiring was Black, familiar tenderness. That encounter was so gentle, so consensual, Louis even letting his friend know that he had a partner, that this was a negotiated infidelity. And then in some ways the even larger betreyal of not seeing what the Azalea and the business meant to Louis, how he is constantly thinking in terms of a community, how he keeps again and again aligning himself with using power for reform. (One could argue that one of the many betreyals that Armand did to Louis was to keep him numb in rarified Dubai when he could have channeled his grief in organising. Unless Louis is out there funding Hamas and Greta Thunberg... but even then, he clearly thrives in hands-on community work.)

Truly Lestat is the perfect modern white liberal, who never sees race, and only individualises every love, and therefore is incapable of achieving any soul-deep connection with a person of colour.

(You guys, this is why I didn't want to invest in this show. I have no desire for season 3 redemption of the brat prince.)

Does the show have Black writers? I'd love to read meta about how Black USAmericans feel about its portrayal of the time and place. It feels well done to me, and authentic without being trauma porn, but obviously I'm not the best judge.

Louis even places the gift boxes down so gently. Oh babe. It hurts my heart.

I have been bullied, outright bullied, I say, into finally watching Interview with the Vampire. Apparently Delhi boy Arun is the way to persuade me over my gore squick.

So three years late and several hours after the train has passed - my episode by episode live-blog. (These will probably be shallow reactions because I know all the meaty meta and analysis has already been written. I remember reading it back when I was an innocent parasocial of your gifsets.) Also, I am coming into this with a series of biases; I've been completely spoiled by way of seeing gifs, reading meta and going through the book summaries. This is also not my genre; I don't enjoy gothic or horror, I was never into the vampire mystique, and I learned vampire lore via Buffy and Angel fandoms back when. So I am predisposed to watch this for the specific angle of how to intersect with my friends' interest in the characters. Disclaimers out of the way...

Season 1 Episode 1 - Mmmm, I see what people say about the art direction. This is a very very beautiful show. Very deliberately staged historicity, very artfully selected colour palattes and design. I imagine watching it on a big TV would be rewarding (I'm on a laptop.) But actually, more than the quality of the design, I think what I am enjoying is the quality of the actors. Because I have been forewarned, I realise all the cast is serious scenery chewing theatre rats. But the energy they bring to their scene work is palpable even through the screen.

Louis for instance, is oddly not beautiful. I can think of several other actors who would look far more physically arresting. To be frank, I don't see what Lestat saw in him, that moment did not have an impact on me. But what Louis is, because of Jacob, is intensely watchable. He brings such commitment to the character that my admiration for the actor translates into sympathy for the character. And of course, the Theatre Voice. Absolutely A+ choice to choose Shakespeare trained actors to deliver what I imagine must be quotes from Anne Rice's original florid prose?

It's a dangerous risk to use that sort of of heightened textual narration, which can work on a page, to sit against the visuals we are already seeing. I remember how Good Omens season 1 did so much quoting from the book to disasterously flat effect. But it works here, and that is, I think, because Jacob delivers the lines with so much integrity to bringing us back to the Dubai penthouse as we watch the New Orleans scenes.

I really enjoyed Daniel Molloy, who I remember finding rather delightful in the gifs even before we all knew his importance and where he was headed. I love grumpy irascible characters and he's lovely at being surly and sardonic. And physically deteriorating and mundane and ordinary, which makes him such a good foil to -

my precious little murderboy Armand! I really do want to watch things unspoiled, so I carry some regret about going into this so very equipped with hindsight. But I did giggle as the very first vampiric contact we see is a cup of tea being placed by Unnamed Brown Guy hand in front of Daniel. That's the love of your life, dude! Give or take a few divorces and deaths. I was watching Assad very closely to see what choices he was making - if there were any clues to pick up on. He was pretty stoic during the hand burning.

But that silent service thing going on - that's definitely something that packs more of a punch if you imagine him learning that from childhood as a human. I've got all kinds of headcanons going on for him, which I've been discussing with @quark4561 and I think his backstory can be a heartbreaking foil to Louis's, in terms of service, and sex work, and segregation.

Speaking of race, I know much of the fandom adores Lestat, but I thought the great thing about casting Sam Reid, is that he isn't the kind of drop dead gorgeous version that Tom Cruise might have been (never seen the film) and so he comes across right from the very beginning as ordinary except for the priviledge of his power. We know already that his power is vampirism, but because of the casting choices, it also becomes the power of whiteness. Lestat isn't some idealised homosexual awakening for Louis, or at least, that wasn't the way I read it. Lestat uses money, whiteness, physical force and vampirical power to get to Louis, and that sets their relationship on a dark, abusive path from the get-go.

In contrast to this was Louis's relationship to Lily. I loved her and the gentleness of their bond. The needless cruelty of Lestat killing her (thankfully offstage, I do not need to see Black women murdered any more), hammers in that this is a person who is selfish and cruel (beyond the ordinary carnivorous murders that one expects of the vampiric genre).

I'm not sure I understood why Louis's brother killed himself. Were we supposed to believe Lestat fucked with his mind? Were the voices he heard a sign of suicidal delusions?

But seeing both of them hoofing together - and I am so glad we didn't see Lestat lurking about then, it was a Black wedding and needed to be closed to the community - was so moving. It made me feel Louis' love for Paul more than his monologue narration. I'm not Black or USAmerican, but I did feel that the Black experience of these characters was respected and integrated into the storytelling choices, from writing to casting to design to cinematography, in a way that really worked for me.

I'm looking forward to spending time with Louis and his assistant, and the grumpy old fart interviewing them.

[ziggy-starman]

La Squadra constipation comfort. my ibs is making it hard to shite :///

I know this was satire but istg just seeing this gave me fun ideas for hcs, so here they are!

La squadra with a s/o who is constipated

♤-----------------------------------------------------------♤

Risotto Nero

Risotto really has no problem shitting so he doesn't understand your struggles.

He somehow makes it really awkward if you call him to help(idk how) like he comes over assuming you ran out of toilet paper but hes met with a "ris..i cant shit" from you.

If you're a shy pooper then hes probably just concerned on why you're taking so long. He'd go to the door and knock..oh boy what a mistake. Now you have to start the whole process of trying to shit comfortably again. You say some "Go away im shitting!" And he complies.

He tries to bring you a prune yogurt drink *as* you shit. Its not gonna help now tf

Prosciutto

This man istg. If you complain to him whilst *in* the bathroom and shitting he will nag to you and lecture you about your diet.

"This is why you eat your vegibles,cara! Next time you dont want those green beans dont come crying to me that you cant shit!"

If you're lactose intolerant its gonna be worse.

"Why would you eat from the cheese platter anyway?! Tesora,you need to stop doing this to yourself! It just hurts you!"

Hed go on and on and you're not paying attention to a damn word he spewed out. You're just trying to push the fucking log of a shit out your ass.

Pesci <3

Tbh this man isnt much of a help. But he tries!

He wouldnt know what to do he'd offer random things that make you happy but none of them can help you push out a fucking child sized dump.

If you start moaning and complaining while hes outside the door it'll just worry him more.

"Uuh- uhm oh! Do you want some music,amore? I know that makes you happ- AHH ARE YOU OKAY!?!" And you reply with a choked out "no.."

He'd sit with you till youre completely done. Or he wont if it makes it harder for you. He just wants you to shit comfortably. (10/10 bf fr)

Melone

Melone kinda got excited when he heard you calling him to the bathroom (if u do) he thought you'd want to take a bath with him and maybe bang who knows

Only to be met with you struggling to shit. He'd be disappointed but still try and come in to the toxic waste room. He just want to see you with your pants off.

He'd wanna come in more if you're a naked shitter. He uses excuses like "babe...you dont want me to come in? I can hold your hand"

Even if ur a shy pooper hed forget and stick around till you're done. Really he just sits around the door talks to you about random stuff and you'll never hear the end of "are you done yet?"

Whenever he says something his face will always be pressed against the door. So..good luck?

Ghiaccio

Ghia would be confused on why tf you yell for him but he goes to check either way. Like ris he expects that you ran out of toilet paper.....You cant shit.

"....what the fuck do you expect me to do about that?..DO YOU WANT ME TO FUCKING PULL THE SHIT OUT OF YA!?"

Hed stomp down the hall way mumbling out complaints, leaving you alone to shit.

No he wont hold your hand or take a shit in the double toilet with you :(( its "gross" to him..what a looser

He doesnt wanna experience the togetherness of smelling each others farts while shidding here with you...

Illuso

So you call him over.....now what? He comes to you but he has no idea what to do.

Hes like..."okay you cant shit...wtf do you want me to do about that? I cant just use magic,babe." He'll be very blunt and make it obvious that he doesnt wanna talk to you while you're popping a squat.

He leaves you with no words Alone,constipated and sad.

It doesn't make him exactly uncomfortable but he finds anything regarding hygiene and..like toilet stuff gross. Like "no i will not help you eject the fecal matter in your rectum out of your anal canal...nasty."

Formaggio~

Formaggio also has ibs..like he feels your pain so he knows. Hed also be very willing to shit in the together toilets while holding hands in agony with you.

Lets say if you did end up with double toilets and both of you having to shit really bad. He'd try and crack jokes to make you laugh and distract both of you from the pain. Énfasis on *try*

"Hey babe- why did the chicken cross the road?"

"Idk..why"

"...." "uh....to get away from kfc...?"

The joke was ass ofc.

This man is having a harder time than you. Hes sweating bullets while practically crushing your hand and screaming.

Sir looks like this:

[clownsuu]

how does your obsessive version of djmm feel about sun? would he see him as a threat or distraction to his relationship with moon? or honestly, if he's looking for a nurturing and child loving nature sun is also a prime choice.

Oh shid-

(long-ish post cause I like spooky)

So realistically speaking- no he wouldn’t be threatened by Sun since sun is somewhat gullible- if anything sun would be helpful in persuading moon- cause yknow- Dj isn’t the type to make brash and suspicious things, he would be really good at hiding “suspicious“ behaviors. He would be extremely envious of Freddy tho since he has heard moon always talking about their love and admiration for freddy- specially when he’s more keen in listening in to every single word and movement moon does, possibly even removing his headphones, risking being over stimulated, just to hear every little detail-

Also although Sun would be perfect, it also comes down to the little plot that iv made too with them lmao- ever since dj got blinded, his therapists were Sun and Moon- sun taking care of Dj during the day, and moon taking care of Dj during the night. Sun was helping him with physical therapy, helping Dj get back on his feet into the world again, teaching him tips and tricks on how to get through being blind, and assisting with new implements into Dj’s job- while moon helped him during the night- with heavy emotional therapy. The strongest and heaviest moment’s of his emotions strikes at night- where he’d sob uncontrollably with the realization he will never be able to see (properly) again- making him suffer great insomnia, panic episodes that gave him horrible migraines, sever depression and be severely malnourished --- or at least he would have been sever- if it wasn’t for moon.

Sure- moon was doing their job as a therapist- but it felt so much more to Dj- right as moon would come in after sun left, the room shifted from bright, loud and cheery, to calm, slow and warm- Sun’s bright and sorta loud happy tone was replaced by a soothing calm voice that talked slow and caring. A mysterious slender hand gently guiding Dj throughout his home- Moon aiding him with his shower (yeah moon saw him like that it’s his J O B-), brushing his teeth, doing other personal hygiene stuff, and then- being there to help dj sleep. While in bed, moon would hold his head and gently play with his hair, as if Dj was a baby- gently talk to him saying he will be ok and everything is alright- and just say sweet words that helped calm him down tremendously. That would have been it, but since this is obsessive dj, it’s a little more than that lol- like getting addicted to the gentle gestures and soft touches, being mesmerized to the gentle and soft voice that talk such sweet loving words, getting drunk to the soft lavender scent moon always had, specially when moon was holding his head and his face was pressed up against moon’s chest and body- really intoxicating stuff smh- definitely was not happy when the therapy sessions were over- he was only able to sleep somewhat after with the remaining lavender smell that was on the bed where moon would lay- and soon after got a moon doll for extra sleep therapy, since moon has other things he must do- at least they are work colleagues now and dj can basically track everything moon does in the building