#never did i have anything to complain about throughout its whole run

[hoziersong]

young royals is the perfect example of a tv show that a) knew how to handle several plotlines without any of them feeling pointless, b) pulled off such a devastating romance that it had me crying or yelling nearly every episode, and c) knew exactly when to stop to wrap up their story perfectly and on their own terms

[stingrayloveblog]

More side order criticism and complaining that you are under no obligation to read

I get that side order was a roguelike which apparently tend to be short? Idk ive never played one before but anyway that still doesnt justify the initial hype, the blatant change in aesthetics and plot (remember the first trailer? And the second trailer i think with the lobby doors looking VERY different and matching what we saw in the concept art trailer) almost last second fnaf security breach style, and the amount of stupid shit that happened throughout most of splatoon 3s lifespan since SUPPOSEDLY the games only gonna be getting updates for like, what, 2 more seasons? And its like wow we waited all this time and went through so much shit for a story thats hardly even a story. Once you unlock everything its just. Prlz grinding for gear to get.

It was fun! It was enjoyable! But it sucked and it wasnt worth all of that. Unfortunately i care a lot about splatoons lore and they didnt really go anywhere with what little lore they did have. They also contradicted themselves multiple times for a net zero lore gain anyway. This is about the whole memories """subplot""", if you can even call it that. It really was just "pearl and marina and also this other random irrelevant character talk to each other while you stand there and stare at them from the background" simulator and its like. Thats it? Thats the story? Thats what i waited through all the bullshit for? And then they make you think that there is more, actually, because they keep leading up to something, and then nothing happens. Like okay what was that for.

The gameplay was quick and easy because thats just my skill level. I didnt find it difficult. If youre good at salmon run then chances are youre good at side order. Theres nothing else to be done about that. Im not gonna play bad on purpose for a chance at a challenge. That isnt fun. I just wish the game was rewarding and to me the lore is the reward but... when you think about it literally at all nothing that marina did all this for shows any proof of having worked. She still has to hack her own vr world to do anything with it. Order, now smollusk, is still very much in control. They dont show you anything memory-related actually changing or being affected. They just say it happened and act like thats all there should be to it. And if they were gonna focus on memories, why did they make this whole thing about how bystanders can accidentally be sucked in and then do literally nothing with that? Why not show an actual change in the actual inkopolis square? Why murch of all characters to get a pallet. Why not involve iso padre, whos in inkopolis square now (im very happy about that), who had also lost his memories and was an established character that we could actually interact with in the previous game? It just doesnt add up. Like sorry that i expected good storytelling, its just this is the same people who made octo expansion and they keep trying to one-up octo expansion and they keep falling flat on their face because they keep thinking the gameplay is what made octo expansion so good when it was also the plot and the lore and the worldbuilding that added so much to it so i thought "this time for sure" especially with everything they showed us in the first trailer.

Again, i know it was all concept art, but surely it wouldnt be fair to show off so much only for the final product to be almost nothing like it? Surely if they werent set on the story then they wouldve waited longer to be realeasing trailers and announcing dlc in the first place? Surely it makes sense to expect what was shown. I dont get why theres some people who think everyone had too high expectations. Like its literally just a matter of if you think about any of it literally at all and actually care about it any way more than barebones surface level stuff literally at all then its natural to expect more.

[adarkermiserablecrow]

I finally watched 6x11, 'In another life' and boy did some writer put their whole pussy into this one.

And I have Thoughts about this which I am gonna share with the class, because I have been crying/yelling at my tv/hysterically laughing for 45 minutes now, and if my neighbours are going to hate me, the least I can do is hop on here and be annoying.

It got really long and ramble-y so I'll put it under a cut.

1. Coma Buckley family: I think it's really interesting that, in the beginning, it's implied that the buckley parents dote on evan to daniel's detriment (''oh i didnt know you remembered he had a brother") but not neglecting him like they neglected Buck irl. Daniel seems well-adjusted, implied to be a caring doctor ("maybe you should listen to your patients") but also a bit aloof, oblivious (not noticing anything weird about doug - a bit more on that later). It does seem like a picture perfect family, on its surface, with bickering siblings and family dinners, but it sets up a very important theme that runs throughout the episode: this dream life, buck being a teacher and on good terms with his parents and having his brother be alive, comes at the expense of his ability to help. First and foremost, his ability to help his sister escape, offer safe haven, because in this reality he never left PA. And later on in the episode, people insist that he has the ability to fix anything in the coma, but that was disproved at the very beginning when he tried to help maddie and failed, and failed to get daniel to help. From the get go, we see that even in here, not everything is fixable, and we're told this later on as well, when bobby says 'you cant bring me back to life in this dream'. The point here is that at the beginning we're dealing with buck who wants the happy family he never knew as a child, the neglected kid who wishes his parents would be the kind of people that they were in the dream, happy and involved in his life. But at the end, having been through the rest of the dream, it's his parents in their new shiny caring version that try to hold him back, it's his parents dragging him down. But, this is his subconscious, so in reality, it's that wish of having a happy family and the resentment towars his parents that is dragging him down, and he recognises that, and he forgives them, because thats the only way he can move on, return to life. Many people complain about the parents' redemption, and maybe ill change my mind when i watch the rest of the season, but I dont think it was a redemption for them. It was all on buck, he forgave them, he chose to move past it, and let them into his life. In the end, back in the real world, his parents still don't really listen to him, when he says his apartment is fine, he does not need a couch. Buck tells maddie he doesn't mind them. That doesnt mean they're meant to have changed, Buck is the one who changed. And, the choice to go hard on the father/son dynamic with bobby, and buck telling daniel his family is different out there, adds a layer: he doesn't really view them as his parents anymore. He doesn't get hung up on it now, but he lets go of the idea that they would ever be the doting family he needed as a child, and recognises that he found that family elsewhere. He accepts them as people in his life, and rejects them as parents. It ties into Chimney's storyline with his own father, how Chim and Buck both move toward forgiveness, and it also ties back to the sperm donor storyline and the argument between chim and buck's fathers. The point of the buckleys' 'redemption' is that buck forgives, even if he does not forget.

2. Buck's other fixes: it has been established that this all happens in buck's subconscious. The way he slowly realises the impact his life has had on others is just... The starting point is maddie and yeah I said that already, but then he finds chim and hen pretty much the same, and he assumes the only person he's ever helped is maddie. But then he finds out about bobby and eddie, and it occurs to him for the first time ever that he helped them too, got them out of a tough spot. It's not a sure thing that things would have turned out that way in buck's absence, but the point here is for him to realise that he helped, he was needed. It's particularly strong with Bobby, who appears like a little psychopathic gremlin in the dream, drinking here and there and guzzling down pills, and essentially tells buck that, in the dream, he can fix almost anything. And it all snowballs into buck realising he helped bobby, essentially by annoying him. And it's so important that at the end of the 'i made you mad and i made you laugh sometimes' speech, bobby calls that 'being buck', because it's essentially saying that buck helped bobby just by being himself. Again, this is the way buck's mind conjures it up, but it's no less important that he comes to the conclusion that being himself was enough. That he doesn't need to be someone else to help the people he loves (and to me that sentiment calls back to s4, him climbing that crane to protect everyone, and bobby saying that's who he is - not a compliment).

3. Eddie. This part may be the buddie shipper in me getting high on copium, but I think eddie's absolute absence from the dream was connected to him never stepping foot in buck's room irl, except to bring in chris. I mean, in the coma buck was with chim, irl chim is by his bedside. Coma, he's talking with bobby, irl bobby has busted out the rosary beads. It wasnt a hard rule as far as I can tell, though we know buck had some awareness of the room and the goings on, he could hear them (thats why i think the copium might play a part in this paragraph). But also, it feels so important that the people who tell buck explicitly to come back and get better are essentially proxys. Athena on behalf of bobby and Chris on behalf of eddie. And, in the coma, Eddie does not physically appear, but he is the first flash of irl buck remembers (not chim, but eddie's 'go get em') and also, of course, the last 'fix' of buck's, bringing the total of people he helped in a big way to three: maddie, bobby, and eddie. Doesnt really tell us anything about buddie, but it does reinforce the strong relationship between the characters, platonic or not. (Also, eddie 'pain is weakness' diaz crying even a single tear in public feels like a Big Thing).

4. Daniel. Honestly? The chase in the end of the episode and the subsequent argument between buck and daniel (who, yes, is also buck, but ill keep calling daniel to avoid confusion) might be one of my favourite scenes in the entire show. Maybe one of my favourite scenes in any tv show ive watched. First off, that part of buck represents essentially every self worth issue he has. It's the part of him that is the most broken, tells him he isn't needed, isn't wanted, he's spare parts that turned out defective (a sentiment buck has expressed out loud in s4 and it was the 118 reassuring him he is much more than spare parts). And all of this stems from buck's childhood, so it makes sense that it took on the appearance of daniel, since daniel was the source of it all, through no fault of his own, even long before buck knew of his existence. It's daniel's death that brings on the grief that swallows the buckleys and leads to buck's childhood being the way it was. Things would have been different had daniel survived, or so buck believes. Beyond that, daniel's ignorance of maddie's situation reflects on buck blaming himself for not seeing that his sister was suffering (which buck even says out loud in the kitchen scene in this episode). And, when the switch flips, daniel becomes buck, the part of buck that is broken and hateful not to others but to himself, buck borrows a lesson from bobby and manages to break free of his own low self worth. I dont think thats the end of that, but buck's jourmey this episode was all about realising that he is needed, so he could look in the mirror in this scene and say no, you're wrong, they don't want me gone, they care about me. And, as someone who deeply relates to having that voice in your head, and to buck in general, it's so powerful to see a character manage to overcome that. It's so powerful to see buck, textbook people pleaser that he is, realise that he's talking to himself and say 'oh you're me. I dont have to feel bad about not listening to you', and use the first real artifact of firefighting we've seen in the coma dream to break free and return to his life, his real family. And, oliver stark's acting in this scene, whew - buck being confused and emotional but still relentless in pursuing his goal, and the other buck being cold and cruel and also relentless in his insistence that he is just not worth it, not needed. Just - chef's kiss. I cant really explain how much that scene spoke to me, because it is tangled up in how much I relate to buck as a character, and thats a whole other can of worms.

5. Random things. I appreciated that the traumatic events that happened to buck over the course of the show were at least acknowledged. Given that most of the other characters (barring chim, I think) have had storylines about dealing with trauma, it's a bit glaring that buck never really did. Sadly, I think it's too late for that now, aside from if they do something with the lightning going forward. But I am glad they were mentioned, because the man went through a bombing and a tsunami within six months of each other, and it was never really talked about. The bombing led into the lawsuit plot and then was resolved, and the tsunami trauma storyline was about chris (not complaining, it's just how it was). I do wish those traumas had been explored, but I really do think we're past that point and am happy we're at least acknowledging them. (Also, the implication that the tsunami left him so deeply traumatised that it's present in his parents' coma house, supposedly a safe haven from everything real, as a ferris wheel that 'doesnt fit with anything' because trauma stands out in your mind, im-).

Another thing is the lighting, the cold, grey hues of the real hospital, versus warm colour in the coma dream which gradually gets colder the closer buck gets to waking up, and the return of warm lighting in the end, when buck wakes up in the hospital and his family is there to see him. Also, people irl dressed in drab, muted colours, vs. the characters in the dream being more vibrant, esp buck in that green sweater which btw was a gold star choice from the costume department.

Basically everyone put their whole pussy into this, from the writers to the crew to the actors, and while it's not the only time this has happened, I'm really glad it did.

The end. Pretty much. Ive probably managed to forget some things, and maybe I was Captain Obvious abour others, and wrong about some, but this episode made it right to the top of my list of favourites right away, and it'll probably keep me up tonight lmao. Thanks for coming to my TED talk, hope it made sense.

[haadeswrites]

Elysium

god this fic took forever i’m so sorry!! but hey, first fic on the new blog! <33 also y’all should really thank @iwaasfairy who listened to me complain about this fic for a solid month, she’s the reason it got finished

Cult leader Oikawa Tooru x female reader

tw: indoctrination, extremely dubious consent, blood, yandere themes, religious themes, minor character death, implied abuse & drug use, mild smut, nsfw

The island itself is breathtaking

Pristine beaches with gleaming white sand, vast swathes of lush, green rainforest and waterfalls that cascade into shimmering pools of crystal clear water. Untouched, undisturbed; a paradise. At least, that’s how Ryuji had described it. 

Paradise, but only in the sense that a gingerbread cottage in the middle of the woods is paradise to a lost and hungry child. 

He hadn’t been wrong. Bare feet sink into soft, white sand as you climb from the boat - the warmth just toeing the line between pleasant and burning. Gentle waves ebb and flow behind you, and there’s a light breeze that kisses your skin, the taste of seasalt carrying in the wind. Home, it seems to sing.

A laugh sounds somewhere in the distance, yet the only other figure on the beach is a man walking steadily towards you. He smiles when he sees you’ve noticed him; friendly, non-threatening. It’s a far cry from the swarming welcoming committee you’d been dreading, and you wonder if that’s somehow intentional as well. 

As the boat pushes back out to sea he comes to a stop before you, “I’m Makki,” he says, pushing the fringe of his hair back and giving you a not-so-subtle once over. Whatever he sees must meet approval, because his grin only widens, “Welcome to the Commune.”

Ryuji wasn’t wrong; the island is a beautiful, deadly thing.

—

You’d never heard of the Commune before the phone call. 

And maybe that shouldn’t be so surprising. You’ll be the first to admit you’re hardly an expert, but from what you do know, groups like the Commune – cults – don’t spring up out of thin air and start broadcasting their mistreatment and systematic abuse. 

They’re not the kind of people that have sweet old ladies clutching their pearls and mothers shepherding their children away – at least, not in the beginning. Not entirely. They’re not out to recruit extremists to further their cause, they choose to prey on the vulnerable, the lost and the disillusioned. Those easily manipulated. You suspect that’s why when you google the Commune, all you find is a website for what essentially looks like a long term luxury wellness retreat.

‘The Commune is about healing and harmony, about returning to nature, supporting one another to forge a brighter, more holistic future together… a self-sufficient community living apart from technology and other evils of modern society.’ 

You fight the urge to roll your eyes as you scroll through. There’s a whisper of philosophical teachings woven throughout, a page dedicated to their founder, Oikawa Tooru – smiling handsomely in every single picture, because what would a burgeoning cult be without a charismatic leader – but there’s not enough.

So here you are, on an island hundreds of miles away from home living amongst strangers; because Ryuji wouldn’t have sounded so terrified if this was just some alternate, free-loving bunch of hippies.

And even with all that he’d told you, everything you thought you’d be prepared for, the Commune is like nothing you could’ve imagined. 

Makki introduces you to Asuka, a woman only a few years older than yourself, dark haired and stunningly beautiful, and winks as he tells her to take you under her wing. She smiles brightly, eyes twinkling, and pulls you into a heartfelt hug – as if you’ve known each other your whole lives.

“We’re so glad you’re here!” she beams.

You’d like to hate her. 

It feels like you're supposed to, sometimes; when she gets that dreamy look in her eyes and starts talking about Oikawa and the Commune and how lucky everyone here on the island is. Yet there’s something about her – the genuine warmth she emanates maybe, or the kindness in her eyes – that makes it difficult for you not to like her.

“You should come to the gathering tomorrow,” she hums idly one afternoon, maybe a week or so after your arrival. The two of you are sitting on the edge of the pier, legs dangling down into the water, tangled fishing nets to be repaired strewn between you.

“I always go,” you reply.

She laughs, fixing you with a knowing look, “And sit right at the very back, all but running off the moment we finish?” 

And your traitorous heart skips a beat. 

“It’s okay to take things slowly,” she says. “We understand that being a part of the Commune is a big change from the life you knew, and that not everybody is able to see what we see and embrace those changes.” 

Asuka sets down the knot she’s working through and reaches for your hand, a gentle smile on her face, “But you shouldn’t be afraid. You’re meant to be here, I can feel it. You just need to stop fighting against it; surrender yourself to us, to the island, and everything’ll make sense, I promise.”

It’s dangerous territory. One wrong word could set off alarm bells, yet you can’t help pressing just a little.

“Do you ever miss it, then? Life outside the Commune?” 

Your family. Friends. The life you left behind before you came here to be brainwashed like all of the others.

“Why would I?” she answers without missing a beat, and it’s hard to ignore the bitter flicker of disappointment you feel at her answer. “The island provides for us, we don’t have to spend our days selling off tiny pieces of ourselves just to make ends meet. It’s paradise here, and we have Oikawa to thank for that. Why would I ever want to go back?”

Silence falls between you as you struggle to think of something to say to salvage the situation. Yet Asuka isn’t even looking at you, instead staring out at the water with a strangely pensive expression. 

“Did you know I was married once?” The words seemingly out of the blue, you can only shake your head. For a moment, she doesn’t reply, watching as the waves rise and crash offshore. And then;

“I was young, eighteen or so, fresh out of high school and he was a small town cop.” Her eyes flicker to yours, and your heart clenches at the sadness and pain echoing there. “I thought he was a good man, once upon a time.”

A chord strikes deep, your chest tightening involuntarily at her words. It’s not the same, of course it’s not the same, and yet… 

No. You stop the errant thought in its tracks. Groups like the Commune prey on the vulnerable, you know this. People like Ryuji, like Asuka, like–

Her fingers squeeze around yours, pulling you back to the present. “Come to the gathering tomorrow. Listen to Oikawa, it’ll help.”

—

She doesn’t give you a choice in the matter – dragging you by the hand to sit right at the front of the gathered crowd that very night.

Oikawa’s handsomer up close; tall and dark haired with pretty eyes and long, sweeping lashes that frame delicate cheekbones, it’s not hard for you to see how a man like him has amassed such an impassioned following. 

Once he starts actually speaking, however, you realise that his good looks and charming smile are just the tip of the iceberg. Oikawa’s utterly captivating as he preaches about the cycle of life and death and the paradise that awaits his faithful. Passionate and engaging, he speaks like he truly believes every word of the lies he’s spreading. 

And Asuka, her friends, the others gathered, they eat up every word like it’s gospel truth, resounding cheers and thunderous applause deafening around you. In the midst of the rapturous din, Oikawa’s eyes flit to yours.

Slowly, he smiles – a dazzling grin that makes your stomach flip – and everything; Asuka, the noise, the others swarming around you, it all fades away.

For one electrifying heartbeat, you’re frozen in place. Just you and Oikawa, trapped in the pull of each other’s gaze.

—

You can’t forget the reason you came.

But it’s… difficult, in a way you struggle to understand. You only have one purpose for being here, one goal; find Ryuji and bring him home. 

And yet, some days it’s like there’s a fog in your mind, and you have to focus to remember why you’re here at all. You catch yourself laughing with Asuka and her friends, the days passing by in a blur of endless, easy distractions. 

It barely feels like work when you’re sitting under the shade of the trees, eating the fruits you’ve picked by hand – ripe and sweet, unlike anything you’ve ever tasted – diving off waterfalls into the crystalline water and meandering down the shore collecting seashells. Even when you are working, mending clothes or cooking with the others, it fills you with a sense of contentment you can’t quite explain. 

Like you’re a part of something bigger. Like you’re doing something that matters.

Ryuji becomes a distant thought. A whisper in the back of your head, a niggling in your gut, easily brushed aside and ignored until there’s a moment of quiet. In the dead of night, the balmy summer night’s breeze kissing your bare skin, you lie awake, lost in memories of the last time you’d seen him. 

Fists angrily pounding at your door, the yelling that gave way to sobs and the hoarse, desperate pleas that followed. Ryuji’s face; pupils blown wide and eyes rimmed in red, darting restlessly around as he held you too tight and begged–

Rolling over in bed, you gaze out your window at the star flecked sky, the shadows of the forest that lie at your doorstep, and wonder what it is that scares you more; that you’ve lost track of the days you’ve been here, and saving Ryuji is starting to feel like an afterthought, or that you could so easily forget all of it, find a place here in the Commune and be happy.

‘The island, it–it fucks with your head.’

Ryuji’d told you that, and you’d brushed it off as paranoia. You need to find him. Find him and get the hell outta dodge.

You can deal with the fallout later.

—

Kiyoshi. 

He’d mentioned the name a few times amidst his rambling – a friend of his on the island. You’re annoyed with yourself for not thinking of it sooner, however much like Ryuji himself, trying to focus and remember the name is like wading through thick mud.

Once you do, though, finding him amongst the hundred and fifty or so inhabitants is the easy part. 

There’s no strict division between genders within the Commune, however Kyoshi, despite his somewhat lean stature, is among the builders of the island and his path doesn’t often cross with yours. 

From Asuka you find out that he’s been a part of the Commune for years now, before even she joined, and that he mostly sticks to himself, though you’ve seen him chatting quietly to a few of the other men, a perpetually angry looking blonde in particular.

It’s the last part that piques her interest, “Why’re you so curious, anyway?” she asks, her face lighting up as a sudden thought occurs. “Do you want me to introduce you two? To be honest, I didn’t think he’d be your type, if you’re interested, though…”

Cheeks aflame, you’re quick to shut her down. “No, no, nothing like that. I’ve just… seen him around and we’ve never really spoken, I guess.”

A lame excuse, though mercifully she lets the subject drop without too much prodding.

Therein, of course, lies the problem. Walking up to Kyoshi and casually trying to drop Ryuji into the conversation without raising red flags is risky, but what other options do you have? You’ve already spent too much time on this island.

Although, maybe Asuka has the right idea. 

While you hadn’t been lying when you said you weren’t interested in Kyoshi in that way, nobody else knew that. Who would really look twice at the shy newbie striking up a conversation with the quiet, easygoing man? He wasn’t unattractive per se, and from the brief interactions you’d seen of him, he seemed kind enough.

You have enough patience (barely) to wait for dusk the following night. There’s a celebration, something about the full moon and a blessing on the island and the Commune– you hadn’t really been paying attention when Oikawa had spoken about it. Still, it’s too good an opportunity to pass up. With the fire pits crackling, and the dancing and music and the sweet honey wine flowing freely, nobody will be paying too much attention to what you’ll be doing. Hopefully, the alcohol will also serve to lower Kiyoshi’s guard, and perhaps if you’re really, really lucky, loosen his tongue as well. 

Of course, you’re not banking on him telling you exactly where Ryu is or what happened to him– and that’s assuming he actually knows – but at this point you’ll take anything over the nothing you currently have. A tiny slip up, that’s all you’re asking for. 

As the sun descends beyond the horizon, you play your role well, laughing and chatting amongst friends, sipping carefully at the cup of wine in your hand as you wait for an opening. And perhaps it’s your nerves working against you, but you find that it’s not just Kiyoshi your attention is drawn to. 

Up on the shore, away from the rabble, Oikawa lounges back with a cup of the same honeyed wine you’re pretending to drink. For the most part he seems deep in conversation with Iwaizumi, his right hand, but every once in a while he glances up, letting his gaze roam over the crowd of his followers.

Every inch a king and his general.

And it would seem benevolent, if not for the strange smile he wears – the one that widens when his eyes catch yours.

Swallowing tightly, you force yourself not to dwell on it, to ignore the odd sensation curling in your gut and the way your skin prickles under his attention. Now is not the time to lose focus.

Pushing all thoughts of Oikawa aside, you subtly scan the beach once more, only to find that Kiyoshi’s moved, sitting now on a piece of old driftwood near the bonfire. Alone for the first time tonight. 

Your legs are moving before the thought even fully registers. 

“Do you mind if I sit?” you ask, gesturing to the empty space on the log beside him. 

Kiyoshi smiles, the laugh lines at corners of his eyes crinkling pleasantly, and shakes his head, “Not at all.”

“Thanks.”

Taking another sip of your wine, you will your shoulders to relax, your racing pulse to slow. This has to seem natural, and so you force yourself to hold your tongue, let your head loll back and breathe deep, soaking it all in. You can hear the others in the distance, the music and the dancing, the happy laughter and shouts that beckon – you want to go join them. Even your blood seems to hum, a call of something other pulsing through your veins.

But you pay it no mind. There are more important things to worry about tonight. 

Indeed, steel blue eyes have been appraising you curiously for a while now. “This is your first Lunar blessing, isn’t it?” Kiyoshi asks after a moment.

You nod, humming in agreement. Less than a month; you’ve been here less than a month. Is that a good thing?

“Are you enjoying yourself?”

A harmless enough question, and again you nod your head. “Yeah, it’s…” you pause, searching for words that won’t sound hollow. “It’s paradise. I feel like I need to pinch myself just to make sure it’s real.”

He smiles gently. “But?” he probes.

Grimly, you wonder whether Kiyoshi’s usually this perceptive, or if you’re just a really terrible actor. In a way, you suppose it really doesn’t make a difference; you’ve come too far to turn back now – at least not without raising suspicion. 

So you lie with a truth, and pray that it works.

“I had a friend I was supposed to meet here,” you confess quietly, gazing not at him but the crackling flames of the bonfire, the burning embers carried off into the night. “He was the one who said I should come, but now I’m here and he’s not and every time I catch myself enjoying this–”

“You feel guilty,” he surmises, cutting you off. “Because he’s not here to enjoy it with you.”

Wordlessly, you nod – and maybe it isn’t so much of an act when your eyes begin to glisten, your smile wavering. 

Kiyoshi’s silent for a moment, and you take another sip of the honey wine to hide your nerves. “You shouldn’t, you know,” he says eventually. “Feel guilty, I mean. You belong here, with the Commune. You’re happy here. Paradise… isn’t for everybody.”

He doesn’t say it to be cruel, more like he’s simply stating a fact, and somehow that makes it all the more unnerving. And it’s nothing you haven’t listened to Oikawa preach about time and time again. The Commune is for the devoted, the faithful – the lucky few – and you’ve never thought too hard about what he’d meant by that.

The Commune’s small, maybe a hundred and fifty or so people on the island. There’d been no initiation, no test of faith or trial period you’d had to pass when you arrived – at least, none that you’d been aware of. You simply stepped off the boat and they’d welcomed you with open arms. 

An uneasy sensation settles into your gut, goosebumps prickling at your skin despite the heat of the midsummer night. 

That… doesn’t make sense. It can’t. Absolute control’s too important in groups like this, they couldn’t just let anyone–

Kiyoshi speaks again, his calm voice pulling you from your thoughts. “What was his name?” 

You blink at him slowly – stupidly. “Sorry?”

“Your friend,” he clarifies. “What was his name?”

“Oh, um- Ryuji.”

Kiyoshi’s brow furrows in thought for a moment, but he merely shakes his head, “Doesn’t ring a bell, but like I said, not everyone who arrives stays with us for long.”

He looks you right in the eye as he says it.

You don’t understand the cold, foreboding that seeps through your veins, because he’s lying. He has to be. 

Ryuji was here. They were friends, Ryu’d told you that–

Why did you think this stupid plan would work anyway? That he’d tell you anything, much less the truth when this whole fucked up island is full of liars and those too indoctrinated to know the difference?

“You alright?” he asks when abruptly, you shoot to your feet beside him.

And it takes every ounce of willpower you have left to force an easy smile to your lips, raising your cup just a fraction, “Yeah, just gonna go get a refill. Thanks for the talk, Kiyoshi.”

Whether he notices that your wine’s barely touched or not, you don’t care – not as you turn on your heel without another word and head back up the beach. 

Your head is pounding, your body trembling – you don’t hear the call of your name until a hand reaches out and grasps at your wrist, spinning you around.

Asuka greets you with a wide grin, Makki and a tall, broad shouldered man you think is called Mattsun standing either side of her – the former’s arm slung casually over her shoulder. “There you are! I’ve been looking for you,” she says. “Come on, we’re gonna go swimming, it’s so pretty out there!”

You glance out towards the ocean. Moonlight bathes the inky blue water, light shimmering off the rippling tide; some of the others are already out there, splashing amongst the waves. 

“Clothing optional, of course,” Makki laughs, and Asuka tugs on your wrist once more. 

“C’mon, it’ll be fun!”

But you shake your head, slowly pulling your hand from her grip, “I’m not feeling great, I think I’m gonna head back.”

Asuka frowns, concern marring her pretty features. “Are you okay? Do you need us to call Mizo–”

“No,” you say, cutting her off. Healer Mizoguchi is the last person you need to see right now. “I just– I just need to go lie down for a bit. You guys go have fun – enjoy the blessing, I’ll be fine.”

Makki and Asuka share a fleeting look, but it’s Mattsun who interjects before either one of them can speak, “I’ll walk you back, then.”

Your stomach churns. It doesn’t sound like a suggestion.

And the smart thing to do would be to accept his help; the walk from the beach to your villa isn’t far, and while you’re not as familiar with Mattsun as you are with Makki or Asuka, it’s not like he’s going to hurt you or anything, but–

“Really– you don’t need to, it’s fine,” you smile weakly, shuffling back as he reaches to offer you his arm. “Go swim, I’ll see you guys in the morning.”

Mattsun shrugs easily enough, falling back into line with the other two – yet there’s something in the way he grins and holds your gaze for a beat longer. A glimmer of amusement, as if there’s some joke you're not a part of. “I’ll hold you to it, sweetheart.”

The heat that floods your cheeks clashes uncomfortably with the cloying heaviness in your stomach, but somehow you manage to stutter out one last goodbye before turning back to scamper off in the direction of your room.

–But not to lie down.

There’s not a cloud in the sky, and the full moon’s bright. No need for a torch, not unless you decide to venture into the heart of the forest.

You’ve been a fool. Kiyoshi, Asuka, Makki, Mattsun; you can’t trust any of them to help you, even unwittingly. Ryuji’s here on the island – somewhere – and every second that slips away, every second that you allow yourself to forget puts him in further danger.

And so you cling to your discomfort, ground yourself in it. The prickling sensation at the back of your neck, the tightness in your chest as you slip past your villa, keeping low and quiet – they’re a reminder that there is something insidious here on the island, that you have to get out.

You and Ryuji.

He’s here. Away from the others, kept under lock and key as punishment, or maybe being forced to undergo whatever kind of glorified brainwashing they’ve got going on, but here. You need to be smart about this, because while you don’t intend to stop until you find him, tonight will be your best shot – while everyone’s distracted down on the beach. 

For the first time in a long time, it feels like you have a clear head. 

Creeping through the underbrush, you steer clear of the well trod pathways that lead towards habitation. You’ve been there, and to the docks, and the river. 

If they’re still keeping him here (and they are, you refuse to entertain the possibility that it could be otherwise) then it’s not somewhere out in the open. A bird cries out in the distance shattering the calm of the night, and you flinch – but it only serves as another reminder that your time tonight is limited; you cannot afford to delay. You wrack your brain, trying to dredge up memories of the last few weeks, surely you must have seen something–

“Lost?”

The single word, spoken in a deep, gruff voice has your blood running cold.

Slowly, you turn. 

Iwa stands behind you in the thicket, his face utterly impassive. Briefly, you contemplate whether it’s worth trying to bluff your way out of this, but Iwa’s eyes narrow, flashing in the dim light and you think better of it.

A sigh escapes you, your shoulders deflating. “Where is he– Ryuji?” you ask; a whisper rather than a demand.

Iwa’s expression gives nothing away. Did he know, or have you handed him the smoking gun of a crime that’d fallen through the cracks? Does it even matter anymore? You’re just–

You’re tired. 

Exhausted. In the space of a few moments all of that shining determination and resolve; it fled, leaving a gaping hole in its wake. This has to end, you can’t keep fighting against them forever. You can’t keep drowning in this guilt, feeling torn every second that you spend here on this stupid island. You just want to find Ryuji and go home.

… Right?

A tense beat passes as Iwa appraises you, and then; “Come with me.”

The hand he places on your shoulder doesn’t give you much choice. His grip isn’t what you’d describe as gentle, yet he’s careful enough to make sure you don’t trip or stumble as he marches you north. 

In the thick of the forest away from the beach, it’s eerily quiet. Every twig that snaps underfoot, every ragged breath you draw; it feels too loud. Out of place amongst the stillness of the midsummer night. 

And isn’t it ironic, that for the first time since you set foot in this paradise, you feel like you’re trespassing?

A bead of sweat trickles down from your temple and your mind unwittingly drifts back to Mattsun and Makki. Are they still swimming with Asuka? Probably, you reason. It’s hard to pinpoint exactly how long it’s been since you left them on the beach, but surely no more than an hour.

And strangely, like water drawn from the depths of a well, an image comes to mind; the four of you standing in the waves, you perched atop Mattsun’s shoulders, screaming and giggling in delight as Asuka tries to knock you down again, two sets of eyes watching from the shore… 

You should have stayed on the beach.

“Can I ask you something?” 

“You can ask,” he replies drily – humouring you, you suppose.

Your lips quirk upwards for the briefest of moments. “What happens on the Lunar blessing? Asuka, the others– no one told me what it was.” 

Iwaizumi doesn’t answer you immediately, but you feel his fingers reflexively tighten on your shoulder. Likely it wasn’t the question he was expecting; surely there were others that you could have asked – but you don’t really want the answers to those.

If you’re being led like a lamb to proverbial slaughter, what good would it do you to know it? 

And yet as the seconds pass and no answer seems forthcoming from your captor, you resign yourself to the fact that your curiosity will remain unsated. You don’t even know what prompted you to ask in the first place; knowing Oikawa it’s probably some grand, meaningless spectacle. Pretty, hollow words spoken only to–

A heavy sigh draws you from your thoughts, and you falter in your step, almost tripping over your own feet in the process. Iwa’s quick to right you, urging you forward with a less than gentle nudge. “Walk straight,” he grunts, yet it lacks any true heat. Anticipation flutters through your veins, and he mutters a soft curse behind you. “Fine. It… it’s an exchange.” 

An exchange? What the hell was that supposed to mean? Your eyebrows draw together, mouth opening to press the matter, but Iwa beats you to the punch.

“You’ll find out for yourself soon enough, now shut up.”

You have no response to that, so you do.

—

The two of you walk in silence for what feels like hours. Eventually, the terrain becomes steeper, the worn path you’re treading twisting and winding, and you realise you must be close to the mountains at the heart of the island. 

As your breath comes in heavy pants, your legs beginning to ache, you can’t help but be lost in the beauty of it all.

The flora’s different here, unlike any you’ve seen before. Flowers bursting from the bark of towering trees, blooms of vibrant hues; reds and purples and soft, baby pinks. Even the vines at your feet curl amongst pretty white buds that gleam invitingly under the moonlight. Your jaw falls open as you gaze around in wonderment. 

You forget why you’re walking, where it is that you’re heading. Iwa’s grip relaxes as a quiet gasp escapes you, and he doesn’t stop you when you stray from the path to take a closer look. You can’t resist reaching out to touch the silken petals, leaning in to smell their perfume. Soft and light and sweet, your eyes flutter shut, a smile creeping across your visage. 

It reminds you of home. Not your actual home – the rundown, tiny shoebox apartment you gave up before you came here – but something deeper.

Home, like the long summer days spent playing in your parents’ backyard. Home, like afternoons curled up by the window, watching the rain come down in sheets outside. 

Home, like the comfort of arms wrapped around you; two hearts beating in sync.

“C’mon,” Iwa interrupts after a minute or so, his voice a touch less gruff. “We’re almost there.”

Dazed, you find yourself nodding, allowing him to guide you back to the path. This time, he doesn’t grab you by the shoulder, seemingly content enough to walk by your side. 

True to his word, it’s only another few minutes before you see it; a wooden villa, four times the size of your own and far, far grander, set amongst a clearing of trees on the mountainside. Confused, your eyes flicker from the villa to Iwa and back again. Gossamer curtains billow lightly in the breeze, a warm, inviting glow spilling from the open windows. Surely this cannot be where he meant to lead you… and yet he merely stands at your side, arms folded across his broad chest, watching you expectantly. 

“You gonna make me carry you up there?” he asks, not unkindly.

Swallowing tightly, you shake your head. 

Another glance, and you catch a shadow lingering by the window. Your heart skips a beat, apprehension curling in your gut as you begin to walk, every step feels less steady than the last. You’re almost glad when Iwa takes you by the arm; if only so that you have something to focus on other than the growing tightness in your chest. The villa, with its pretty flowers and airy, elegant grandeur is far from the isolated cell you’d been afraid of, yet the uncertainty of what you’re walking into eats at you all the same.

Is this where they’ve been keeping Ryu, or has he brought you here for another reason?

Nothing, however, can prepare you for what you find inside. Warm light emanates from lanterns that bathe the room, and your eyes widen as you stare around you.

Strange, gold carvings inlaid with mother of pearl decorate the thick, woodens support beams, a pot of incense burns on a table overflowing with fresh fruit. There’s a jug of the same honeyed wine you’d drank earlier in the night and two cups set on an ornate stand nearby – just within arms reach of one of the chaise lounges.

Iwa affords you little time to gape, drawing you further in. Silken tapestries hang from the walls – you’re pulled along too quickly to truly take note, but the brief glimpses you get hint at a story; a divine being cast from his home, lost and wandering.

It tugs at something buried within you, and uncomfortable, you tear your eyes away.

The two of you reach a closed door at the end of the hall, and Iwa pulls you to a stop, knocking once.

“Come,” a familiar voice calls.

You stiffen, though perhaps you should have foreseen this outcome. Who else would Iwa bring you to but to him? Distantly, you register his grip relaxing, the sound of the door sweeping open and his voice at your ear.

“Go on.”

And it’s funny, you think, how two halves of yourself can be so at odds with each other. Because while your stomach twists itself into knots, goosebumps prickling at your skin, your legs stumble forward of their own accord.

Two steps forward, and your breath catches in your throat.

It’s a bedroom, that much you can deduce from the decor, but that’s not what captures your attention. Nor is it Oikawa, leaning against the bureau with a genial smile – at least not at first. 

No. In place of a back wall, there’s open space, not so much as a panel of glass obstructing the view before you. And what a view it is; from this height you can see the sprawling forest below, the coastline dotted with bonfires and the moonlit ocean shimmering beyond. Where the floorboards end, there are steps, you realise as you unwittingly inch closer, leading to a cascading spring – likely fed from the waterfall you can hear rushing nearby.

How easy it would be to brush aside your worries, you think, to shed your clothes, slip into the cool, calm water and lose yourself entirely. Even amongst all you’ve seen and experienced on the island so far, this is incomparable. 

“Stunning, isn’t it?” Oikawa murmurs, coming up behind you.

His voice startles you, yet when you turn, you find him not gazing out at the scenery but rather at you, that same strange, knowing smile curling at his lips.

“Some days, I admit, it’s hard to tear myself away,” he continues, unbothered by your stunned silence. “But even I can’t neglect my duties for too long.”

You swallow, tongue darting out to wet your lips. Confusion twists through you at the conversational tone, surely he hasn’t brought you here just to chat about the impressive views, yet there’s no hint of disapproval on his face, no indication that he’s anything less than pleased with you.

It’s unnerving to say the least, but you’ll play along with his game if that’s what Oikawa wants.

“Beautiful,” you say, though the words feel woefully inadequate even as you speak them.

He hums in agreement, something akin to pride flickers in his eyes at your assessment, “A labour of love, I suppose. But… everything you see here, everything I’ve built, it comes with a price. You understand that, don’t you?”

“I-I’m sorry?” you stutter.

“Paradise,” he elaborates, his smile widening. “There’s no give without take. Those people down there,” he nods down at the beach, the tiny, ant-like figures still milling about, “the lost, the beaten, the abused – I gave them what they so desperately sought; a sanctuary. A life without struggle, without suffering.” He pauses for a moment, reaching forward to take your hand. You almost flinch, almost skitter across the room to put as much distance between you as you can, but you don’t–

His palm is warm as it envelops yours, a pleasant heat that seems to spread through your veins, easing your tense muscles. There’s nothing to fear from him, you’re safe with Oikawa.

“Aren’t you happy here?”

Yes.

“What about the price?” you ask instead, though it takes more concentration than it should to force the words out. 

Oikawa’s thumb sweeps along the back of your hand. “I never said it was your price to pay,” he soothes. 

There’s something wrong with that sentence, but another sharp knock at the door draws your attention before you can think too hard about it. You turn out of instinct, barely aware of the way his hand tightens fractionally around your own.  

A single finger at your jaw coaxes your attention back to him. “If you built a paradise, wouldn’t you give whatever necessary to ensure it flourished?”

Oikawa stares at you expectantly, deep brown eyes searching your face as he waits for an answer. Agreement would be the logical choice – the one he seems to want from you – but even as your lips part, the only sound that escapes is a breathless, confused noise. 

When you were a kid, maybe six or seven, your parents took you to the beach one day and you waded too far out into the water. The waves were bigger than you expected; all it took was one mistimed jump and you were dragged under.

It wasn’t for long, probably only seconds, and ultimately you were fine – but you remember those few seconds so vividly. The feeling of helplessly tumbling through the water, fighting to break the surface but not knowing which way was up. Your lungs crying out for oxygen, the disorientation and dizziness, the panic.

It feels like that now – like the floor’s dropped out from beneath you and you’re just hurtling through empty air, desperately trying to slow yourself down with nothing to grab onto.

None of this makes any sense. Your emotions are shot to pieces, too many parts of yourself being pulled in different directions and you’re not sure which ones you can trust anymore. How can you be? Oikawa’s still holding your hand, smiling at you, and you just want everything to stop for a second so you can right yourself and breathe–

The door opens.

Iwaizumi appears in your field of vision, dragging a bound, hooded figure behind him. And because this is all some big, cosmic joke, you get your wish. Both of them, actually. 

Time slows. 

Even with a burlap sack pulled over his head, you recognise the man Iwa shoves to the floor and sneers at. 

Hundreds of miles, weeks of uselessly traipsing around this fucking island, and finally– 

Finally, you’ve found Ryu.

There should be relief. Fear, considering his current state, yes, but Ryuji’s here and he’s alive and as the hood is ripped off his head Oikawa squeezes your hand and the only thing you feel is… anger.

Not a heated flash that surges through your blood. It’s slow and seething, insipid. You look at him, locked in place as empty, pleading eyes meet yours and all you can think is that all of this – everything – is his fault.

“Asuka told you why she came to me, didn’t she?” Oikawa asks.

Your brow furrows, why–why is he asking you that now, how did he even–

He slips closer behind you, letting your hand go in favour of your shoulder, his spare dragging lightly along the bare skin of your arm. “She was lost, in so much pain. The physical wounds, they heal after a while,” his voice is right in your ear, a low murmur that sends a shiver rippling down your spine.

It isn’t an unpleasant feeling.

“But the scars inside, well… sometimes those fester.”

Gagged and bound, kneeling at your feet, Ryu doesn’t even try to make a sound. 

He’s thinner than you remember. Face gaunt and bruised; there’s a half healed, mottled yellow one painted across the left side of his jaw, one eye purple and swollen. You glance at Iwa, standing stoically behind him, muscular arms folded across his chest. His work, you wonder, or others as well? You notice the tear tracks running down his face, catching the light of the lanterns, but it’s as if you’re seeing it all through a thick pane of glass. None of it reaches you, there’s nothing but that simmering, ugly feeling in your gut.

Oikawa hums, “I told you that Paradise wasn’t for everyone. It’s a haven, yes, but there are those who simply… don’t belong.”

His body’s so warm, pressed up against yours. Fingertips graze along your side, and this time you don’t bother biting back that tiny, breathless moan. Iwa briefly smirks at it, but there’s no embarrassment. Why should there be? Your eyes flit back to Ryu, bowed on the wooden floor.

Another memory resurfaces; A sharp crack and a ringing in your ears, Ryuji, eyes bloodshot and glazed, falling to his knees, clutching frantically at the leg of your pants as endless apologies spill from his lips. 

It wasn’t him. It was never him. 

“He hurt you,” Oikawa purrs. “He kept hurting you, I saw it.”

The words wash over you like waves breaking on the shore, but you find yourself nodding anyway. It was the truth, wasn’t it? A thousand tiny hurts, piled up on one another until you finally broke.

And you’d still come when he’d called.

Listened to him when he’d begged you not to hang up the phone.

“Iwa.” 

The brunet moves towards a grand chest of drawers pushed up against the western wall. An ornate dagger sits atop, strange and beautiful; the blade isn’t steel or any metal you’ve seen before, but some kind of black stone, the handle intricately carved ivory. You hadn’t even noticed it before, Oikawa’s room filled to the brim with odd trinkets and treasures, but now that you have, it’s hard to tear your eyes away.

Iwa takes it and carries it over towards the two of you, holding it with the utmost care. 

“Obsidian,” Oikawa informs you as he accepts the blade from his friend, bringing it in front of you both to show it off. “Pretty, isn’t it?” And while you can’t see his face, you can hear the smile in his tone.

He isn’t wrong though. 

Ever so carefully you reach out, the soft pads of your fingertips running along the obsidian surface, surprisingly cool to the touch. The razor sharp edges – wavy and asymmetrical, leading to a tapered point – you’re careful to avoid, almost positive you’d draw blood with the slightest touch. 

“Take it,” he urges, his breath ghosting over the shell of your ear. 

Obediently, you turn your hand over, your fingers wrapping around the hilt when he presses it against your palm. And as long fingers curl around yours, you idly wonder how old the dagger is – there’s not so much as a scratch on it, yet there’s something about the weapon in your hand that feels ancient. It thrums under your combined touch.

Oikawa jerks his chin at Iwa, and with a short nod and one last, lingering glance cast your way, the latter exits once again. 

Leaving you and Oikawa alone with Ryuji.

“It’s almost time,” he remarks – though time for what, you’re not entirely sure. His lips press against your hair, his arm dropping from your shoulder to your waist, drawing you flush against him. “I know why you came to me, the lies that led you here.”

Both of you turn your attention back to Ryuji at that, the bound man now shaking with the force of his muffled sobs, snot dripping from his nose. That bitter resentment rears its ugly head again, soothed only by Oikawa’s pacifying hum, his thumb now rubbing slow circles at your side. “Shh, I’m not angry – none of that matters now. You’ve found a home here, no? You want to stay on the island with me.”

You swallow, nodding your head rapidly. The thought of having to leave now, of being forced out after everything you’ve seen and felt and experienced here, you– you can’t fathom it. You don’t want to. 

Ryuji’d wrought so much damage, but even before he’d swept through your life… had you ever been happy? Were you ever truly accepted – or loved, for that matter?

You can’t go back to that life. You won’t; he’ll have to drag you kicking and screaming from the shore. The Commune is your home, this is where you belong. Here, with Oikawa.

“Good girl,” he croons, another kiss pressed to the crown of your head. You beam at the praise and Ryuji crumples a little further. “Death begets life, you understand now, don’t you?”

You glance at the obsidian dagger in your hand and then at Ryu, beaten and bruised, bowed in forced supplication before you, and nod.

His fingers tighten around yours, “Then do it.”

Leaning forward, you reach for Ryu, fingers lightly trailing down his ruined cheek, curling at his chin to coax his head upwards. He squeezes his eyes shut, pain and regret etched over every inch of his face, but he doesn’t fight you. 

Baring his throat to your dagger, Ryuji’s pleas take the shape of your name.

Muffled, thanks to the gag, but unmistakable. And for one single moment, you falter. 

This… this is wrong; for all his faults, and god knows there were plenty, Ryu didn’t des–

A wave of calm washes over you, allaying your fears, your doubts. Your breath leaves you in a heavy gust, taking with it the tension in your shoulders, and Oikawa’s voice, smooth and honeyed, reaches your ears once more, “Nothing comes without a price, doesn’t he deserve to be the one to pay it?”

With your hand still tucked inside of his, your arm moves with a will of its own; slashing with inhuman grace.

The dagger cuts deep, Ryuji’s eyes snapping open in shock as a spray of warm blood hits you both. He chokes – a horrid, wet, gurgling sound – wide, pleading eyes frantically shifting between you and Oikawa. Every beat of his failing heart sends fresh blood spurting from the gaping wound. It drenches his front, splatters across your dress, your face, crimson pooling at the wooden floorboards at his knees. His mouth falls open and shut, trying and failing to form coherent sounds and you just stand there and watch, the dagger hanging limply at your side.

It doesn’t take long; seconds at the most. 

Ryuji’s slumps to the floor, his body finally growing still as the light fades from his eyes. There’s a beat of absolute silence, and then–

Oikawa shudders behind you, a strangled, drawn out moan leaving his lips. You try to turn, but his arms lock around you, every muscle tensing, his back arching. The dagger in your hand grows hot, burning the soft skin of your palm, but with his fingers still tightly entwined with yours you can only whimper and endure it.

With a hoarse, guttural roar, a pulse of pure energy surges through the room like a shockwave. Every cell in your body lights up, electrified, buzzing; a dizzying euphoria unlike any you’ve felt before coursing through your blood. 

Across the island, voices cry out in delight, a symphony of life. The trees tremble and shake, invigorated and renewed, fresh buds bursting from the forest floor, blooming under the light of the full moon.

The harvests flourish, even the river swells in response to the call.

Death begets life, just as he promised.

And with every inch of your body alight and singing with pleasure, you can barely think much less protest (and why would you want to?) as Oikawa roughly yanks you around, hungry lips crashing against your own as his fingers pull and tear at your bloodstained dress. He wastes no time with foreplay, and you suspect only begrudgingly takes a moment to hoist you up against him and carry you to his bed.

There’s nothing gentle about the way he hauls your hips to his, sheathing his cock inside of your warm, tight cunt with one savage thrust, but you don’t care.

Not as you cling to him, fingernails raking along his shoulders as he presses your thighs further apart so he can fuck you deeper. It’s hard and rough and brutal, yet you moan for him all the same, his name a prayer swallowed up by feverish, claiming kisses.

Tonight, bathed in blood and the soft glow of moonlight, you offer your god everything.

—

“Look, look!” 

A small hand tugs at your skirt, and you glance down to find a little girl with pretty, dark curls holding up a crown of woven flowers.

“Do you like it?” she asks. 

Carefully, you take it from her, bringing it closer to examine. She watches you intently as you study it, lifting it this way and that to appraise her work, humming thoughtfully for good measure. “I think it’s beautiful work,” you tell her after a long enough pause, and you can’t help but smile at the way she lights up, preening under your praise. “Why don’t you go show your mama? I’m sure she’ll be very impressed.”

The girl nods rapidly, thanking you before skipping off in the direction of her parents. The sun’s hanging low in the sky, the fires already being readied for the night ahead. You’re not unaware of the watchful gaze that carefully monitors your every move, and the moves of anyone who ventures too close by. Soon enough, you’ll return home to the heart of the island – anticipation fluttering in your belly at the thought of what awaits you – but for now, you let your feet sink further into the sand, closing your eyes as you bask in the lingering warmth of the setting sun.

At least until the sound of your name being called draws you back to the present. Yet it’s not Iwaizumi approaching, but rather Makki, two strangers trailing along behind him. 

“Thought I’d find you here,” he grins, throwing a casual arm over your shoulders. “This is Kaneo,” he gestures to the man, “and his wife Manaka. They arrived this morning, I’ve been showing ‘em round.”

You turn to the couple, smiling sweetly as you extend a hand, “Welcome to the Commune.”

[purplekiwis]

OMG YES! Damaged goods blurb! Can you do a fluff one where one of them is sick with seasonal flu and the other has to take care of them, but they're being stubborn about it because that's just what they do and how they are 🤧

Okay, okay... here she is! It's a bit meh I think, but I hope you like it! 🥰

*

Harry is sick and grumpy, and Y/N takes care of him (from the Damaged Goods AU)

Harry feels miserable.

He’s worse than miserable, really,

because he has a cold… or is it the flu?! He has never known to spot the differences between the two, but he recognized all of the early signs, of course...

As per usual, it started with nothing but a sore throat one morning when he woke up, that ended up lingering throughout the whole day, then came a headache, and the tiredness, and the chills…

It wasn’t so unbearable at first… but the symptoms only kept getting worse and worse as the hours went by, to the point of leaving him with no choice but to skip his classes in favor of staying in bed… suffering.

The worst part about it? He wasn’t even suffering at home – where his mom could be taking her lips to his forehead every so often to see if he had a fever, and bringing him bowls of soup and fruit cubes on that same familiar bedtray that had accompanied him throughout all his periods of sickness.

Mom would also be making sure he stayed hydrated and took his medicine in time... which by the way, he wasn’t taking any. Logically speaking, Harry knew he should have gone to a pharmacy by now, to get something to make him feel better, but how? When he couldn't even muster the will to get up and go downstairs to fill the empty water bottle perched on his nightstand.

He couldn’t move.

Every single inch of his body hurt.

And now he was starting to get shivery under his bedclothes... for fucks sake.

If only he had Pepper, his spaniel mutt puppy, around to snuggle and keep his body cozy and warm like a hot water bag... then perhaps Harry would've been in a better mood. Yeah, definitely. Pepper would've let him bury his snotty face into its soft fur, and not even think to complain if its owner left a puddle of guck all over said fur.

But well, Pepper isn't there.

And being sick sucks.

Especially because Harry really wants some cuddles... and it hasn't been helping his case whatsoever that in this trying day of illness, his mind has done nothing but think of Y/N.

Pondering over what outfit she must have worn that day and what she might be up to while he’s laying there on his deathbed. He also wonders if she has noticed his absence, and if so… if she’s worried about him.

He huffs once he checks his phone again and realizes there are still no messages from her. She doesn’t have to check on him. He knows that, but he can't help that he likes to be cared for sometimes… and as it turns out illness has a tendency to turn him into a big, needy baby... who really wants to have Y/N taking care of him. It would be so good. She could play with his hair the way he likes, give him forehead kisses, hold his hand…

Harry sighs out loud. Her company would be even better than Pepper's, he believes... although Harry isn't so sure Y/N would enjoy having his snot on her as much as his trusty pup would, but that’s beside the point.

It’s even more beside the point because he knows she's not coming to see him.

She’s mad at him, he recalls now. Stupidly so, if he's allowed to think that - he did nothing wrong, after all. She asked him for a “brutally honest opinion” on a design work she was doing for one of her classes, and he simply gave her what she asked for, plain as that. But of course, then she didn’t like what he had to say and got sulky. Just girls being girls, he guesses…

Harry should've known better than to think that would stop her from coming to see him, though. His girl was a little box of surprises, after all... a true master in the art of keeping him on his toes.

She showed up only half an hour after she was done with her classes... softly knocking on his door before poking her head inside with a smile, only for her jaw to drop in shock at the absolute misery that oozed from his pores.

“Y/N…” His voice cracked sickly, almost comically. Harry could have laughed at it if he wasn't so utterly lethargic. “What- what are you doing here?”

“Well, what do you think?” The girl huffed, shutting the bedroom door behind her and heading towards the end of the bed to get a good look at him, hands on her hips. “Why didn't you tell me you were sick? Here I was, going about my day thinking you had slept in for being a bum, only to find out through your friends that you were unwell.”

Harry bit the inside of his cheek, trying to hide his downright amusement at her worried state. Y/N was worried about him? Well then, perhaps her irritation had passed and she had forgiven him… which meant maybe he’d get to have those cuddles he wanted so bad. “I thought you were mad at me?” He poked, eyebrows arching teasingly the best they could with the little energy the muscles on his face could muster.

“Well, I was and am now even more.” She punctuated. “But I still care, obviously. How am I supposed to leave you by yourself when you look like that?” She put down the bag she was holding at the edge of the bed and kneeled next to it on the floor.

“Look like what?” He frowned again. “All snotty and gross?”

“Precisely… and an awful lot like Rudolph the reindeer as well.” Y/N added, with a soft pat to the tip of his swollen, red nose.

Harry smiled at that, right before his eyes fell on the bag over his bed. “Did you go to the store to get those creepy sheet masks you wanted?”

“Huh?” She muttured confused, before noticing where he was looking at. “Oh no, um… these are just some things I got for you. Just vitamins and those gummies for when you have a sore throat, and also uh…” Y/N's cheeks went a little hot. “I got some chicken soup from the buffet restaurant as well, you know… the one next to the drug store. I thought it might do you good…”

“You went to get all that stuff for me?” Harry asked, Y/N hummed happily in confirmation, her eyes gleaming with tenderness. “Y/N... you shouldn't have. That shit is so expensive, and I'm fine, really. It's just a cold. You dont have to worry, let alone take care of me.”

“No offence, but I think I do.” The girl challenged his statement, picking up the halfway used toilet paper roll placed on his nightstand. “For a start, you shouldn’t even be using this to blow your nose. It’ll only irritate your skin and make it more sore.”

Harry rolled his eyes playfully. “That’s such a mum thing to say…” He grumbled in attempt to mask the fact that the secret big, needy baby in him was loving every single bit of the mom talk, and the same applies to when Y/N clicked her tongue chastisingly once he stubbornly snatched the roll off her hand and pulled out some more paper.

She took the chance that he had moved his arm to move a bit closer, sitting on the edge of the bed next to his pillow. “Is there anything else I can do to make you feel better?” She asked, lovingly running her digits through his unwashed curls. They felt a little waxy and knotty in her hands, but she didn’t mind it in the slightest. She just wanted to make him feel better in any way she could. So she kept playing with his hair, scratching at the roots and combing her fingers through his strands just the way she knew he reveled in - only breaking contact once she was almost certain that he had fallen asleep on her... However, as soon as Y/N began to pull her hand away to check her phone, Harry let out a whine and bumped his forehead against her wrist, in a silent request for her to keep going. “You're such a baby sometimes…” Y/N whispered, proceeding to fulfill his wish.

“Mhm... your baby.” He sighed happily.

Y/N smiled to herself at the state of pure bliss Harry was in. So utterly distracted by the slow puffy nature of his breaths, that she almost didnt notice that his droopy eyes had opened and were now fixed on her. He cleared his throat painfully. “Y/N... can I have one of those gummies you got? My throat hurts and I really want to try one.”

Y/N let out a tiny chuckle at the pleading tone he'd used, nodding as she got up to grab the bottle from the bag. She threw it at him playfully to catch midair, knowing that his reflexes were outstanding. “Ohh these seem nice. I love lemon and honey flavored shit.” He told her whilst inspecting the label.

“Yeah?” Y/N couldn’t help but to grin, feeling quite proud of herself for picking the right flavor. But her smile quickly melted into an expression of concern once she watched Harry crack open the bottle and carelessly throw a bunch of gummies into his mouth. “Harry! What are you- that’s not candy! You can’t eat them by the handful!”

“Oi, chill out… it’s just gummies. What wrong could it do?” He asked as he blithely chewed them. Words coming out garbled since he was speaking in between a mouthful.

“Oh, I don't know, perhaps there could be anesthetics in them... but who knows? It was just a thought.” Y/N ironized.

“Really?” He made a wry face similar to hers, inspecting the label closer. “Do you think we can get high on this shit?” He smirked, still chewing as he rolled the container around to check the ingredients in the back. “Cause I'm not gonna lie, that sounds like a pretty good afternoon plan to me...” He half joked, cracking the bottle open again and dropping a couple more gummies in his palm.

Y/N heaved at the suggestion. “I think it’s more likely that you get a terrible bellyache, and we end up in the ER...”

“You really think so?” Harry asked teasingly, taking another gummy to his mouth.

“Okay, that's enough. Give me that.” Y/N demanded, pushing for him to pass the container, but all he did was shake his head with a mischievous, defiant smirk. The girl rolled her eyes at him. “You know what? Fine.” She shrugged. “Eat as many as you want. Can't wait to watch you shit the bed once those anesthetics give you a loose bottom.”

He chuckled at the warning, amused. “If you’re so bothered, why don’t you come get them from me?” He questioned, but before he could prepare himself Y/N jumped on the bed to try and take the bottle away from his hands, what forced him to abruptly sit up and hold it over his head just so she couldn’t reach it from where she sat. “That was... real cute. Is that all you got, hm?”

Y/N huffed and crawled over his legs until she was practically on his lap. Seeing right through his facade once he happily handed off the gummies without putting up a fight and wrapped his arms around her middle to pull her in for a hug instead. “You must think you're so sly, don't you?” She mumbled in question, going back to petting his hair. “If you wanted a cuddle, you could’ve just said so… I don't mind your germs.”

“I was trying to behave to avoid getting you sick, actually…”

“Yeah right...” Y/N grumbled, dropping her head on his shoulder for a moment. “But I guess, since you've already passed me the germs and all... might as well just give me a kiss, no?” She proposed shyly, waiting for Harry to make the move. He did, pulling away slightly and placing his lips in hers softly. “Mm, more.” She pouted.

“Greedy.” He joshed, pecking the girl's lips again, and again... and once more for good measure. The damage was already done, after all... they might as well just keep doing it. “I feel disgusting, though. If I knew you were coming, I would’ve at least taken a shower and brushed my teeth. Can’t believe you still want to kiss me when I am like this.”

Y/N scratched at the frizzy hairs of his nape. “I promise you don't smell or look nearly as bad as you think you do… and you taste like lemon and honey so, that’s nice.” Harry distrustfully scrunched up his nose at her allegation, sniffing up some in the process before his digits rushed to grab some more toilet paper. He took it to his nose, blowing noisily. “Alright, snotty boy…” Y/N laughed, swiftly crawling off his lap. “How about I go downstairs to plate up our soup while you pick a movie for us to watch as we eat? It can be one of those “guy movies” and all, I promise I won't complain... today only, cause I'm giving you privilege for being sick.”

His eyes strayed towards you with interest, the lower half of his face still covered behind the poorly ripped toilet paper sheets. “I was actually thinking more like a musical or a pixar movie, maybe?”

“God, Harry.” Y/N gasped in awe. “I swear I've never felt more attracted to you in my life. Snot and everything.”

[belphies-cuhm-sluht]

Hello! I saw your asks open and i wanted to request some angst headcanons with dad!Asmo. I just read Luci's and oh man that sure hurt my heart, you write angst so well!

Unwanted (Dad!Asmo x F!Reader) ANGST

A/N : Mammon plays a really big part in this, just as Beel played a big role in the dad!Lucifer fic. It's never hinted whether they're together or not, it's kind of up to the imagination... but if you'd like, I can write a part two to this??? (I will also, to anyone who might want it, write a part two to the dad!Lucifer fic)

Word Count : 2.3K Warnings : pregnancy ; children ; maternity ; babies ; hinted abortion ; angst ;

He never wanted children, he didn’t want anything that would actually tie him down to anything or anyone. It wasn’t his “thing”, and you both had done everything to prevent it from happening. Up until now, everything had worked, there had never been one mistake, but the both of you got sloppy. There was a party, and… well, you loved him, and he had said that he loved you, and precautions weren’t a “thing” at that moment. One slip up, one mistake, and now everything was falling apart.

“I didn’t want this. I don’t want that.” He spat the words at you, pointing towards your stomach. He had only stopped pacing long enough to say it before starting again, walking the length of his room as he gnawed at his perfectly manicured fingers. You hadn’t expected anything different from him, but it still hurt that he was blaming the whole thing on you, as if it didn’t take 50/50 participation to make something like this happen. “It’ll completely ruin my image. A child with a human! It’ll be all over the tabloids, in every magazine… I can’t have that.” His behavior shouldn’t have been that shocking to you, but to hear just how selfish he really was, to know that he thought so little of you, it hurt way worse than you ever thought it would. One moment he was professing his love to you, and now he’s disgusted with you. It could have been that your emotions were running high from the situation, or maybe the hormones had just taken over completely, but you wanted to scream, you wanted to cry, and you wanted to fight him. “Your image?! This thing could kill me and all you care about is your stupid public persona… Screw you! I wish I never fell in love with you.” His eyes went soft, and for a moment you thought that maybe he’d apologize, maybe he was rethinking his own words, his actions, that maybe you’d be able to be a team to work through this mess. You were wrong, you were so wrong. “Wish all you want, we both know you’d have never been able to resist me.” Narcissistic, selfish, he was just awful. You closed your eyes tightly, trying to fight back the tears as you walked past him. He didn’t deserve your last words, he didn’t deserve anything. He didn’t deserve you.

The twelfth week was supposed to be the most exciting. It was when most couples would finally make their announcements, happily tell family and friends that they were expecting. Your twelfth week was a nightmare. You were trapped in the Devildom, human doctors wouldn’t know what the hell was going on if they delivered a child with horns, a child so angelically demonic that they’d probably call the hospital priest to your room as soon as they saw it. The only place where you’d be able to safely deliver a child like this and live through it would be in the Devildom. It’s not like you hadn’t tried to relieve yourself of the problem. You had gone to Lucifer, Satan, Barbatos, even Lord Diavolo, asking them if there was any way that they could just… get rid of it. Sadly, Asmodeus wasn’t just a narcissistic, selfish prick, he was also sadistic. None of them could do anything without Asmodeus’ approval since it was his child too. Every time one of them asked him, he would refuse. He didn’t even give a reason, he just wanted to see you suffer. Strangely, you had found comfort and solace in Mammon. You were pretty sure he was only helping because he still had a crush on you, but he became your emotional, mental, and physical support throughout everything. You had told him many times that he didn’t have to basically “fill in” for Asmo, but he insisted that it was the least he could do considering his little brother was being a dick. He wasn’t just your support at the house, he was… invested in the child that Asmo hadn’t wanted. He took you to doctors appointments, sometimes even getting in the way of the doctor as he pointed to the ultrasound screen. He was so excited that most people just assumed it was his kid, and he never denied it either. It was just easier that way, to go along with whatever the other demons said because he knew that any mention of Asmo would upset you and that was the last thing he wanted to do. Some days the both of you would sit on the couch in the living room, flipping through the pages of maternity books. He’d really try to understand the diagrams on the pages, but you could tell that he was confused and sometimes he’d even look up at you from the pages, and then down at your stomach, and then up at you, before looking back down at the pages. It was cute, and you’d giggle lightly, resting your head on his shoulder as you continued flipping through the pages. He had become the only person in the house that you felt like you could fully trust and rely on. Everyone else wanted to stay out of the drama, nobody wanted to get involved, but Mammon wasn’t there for the drama, he was only there for you, he was there when you needed him.

“Can you believe him? Can you believe both of them? We haven’t even broken up and they’re sleeping together, she’s even wearing his clothes. It’s ridiculous, and Mammon is out there playing dad with my kid.” Asmo sat on the edge of the counter, voicing his complaints to anyone who would listen. Sadly it was Beel’s turn since he was the only one in the kitchen right now. Most of the time the other brothers would just hide themselves away, not wanting to deal with Asmo right now, but Beel had gotten hungry and he really thought he’d be lucky enough to avoid his brother. “I don’t know what the big deal is… You didn’t want the kid anyway.” He wasn’t going to walk on eggshells around Asmo, he wasn’t going to lie to make anyone feel better. In Beel’s eyes, Asmo was completely in the wrong. “If Y/N is finding some sort of happiness in spending time with Mammon, who are you to complain? It stopped being your place when you said you didn’t want it.” He shrugged before grabbing his plate and going straight back to his room. He wasn’t going to continue listening to it, but he hoped that he had left Asmo with something to really think about. He walked up the stairs, going straight to the bedroom door, knocking loudly. He wasn’t going to stop until someone opened the door either. Mammon got up from the bed that you both had been propped up on, rolling his eyes as he walked over to his door, groaning loudly when he saw Asmo standing there. “Whaddaya want? We don’t need ya here… yer just gonna stress ‘er out.” He was trying to talk quietly, not wanting you to hear him or even know who was there. He was so protective of you, he wouldn’t let anyone else serve your food during meals, he’d even stand outside the bathroom door whenever you were in there just to make sure you didn’t fall or hurt yourself. Asmo pushed his way into the room much to Mammon’s annoyance. “I don’t care, Mammon. Y/N isn’t yours, and neither is the child. They’re both mine, and I’d like to have a word with her.” He said snidely, but Mammon wasn’t going to have it. Brother or not, he cared too much about you, he had worked so hard to help you get over what Asmo had done, and he wasn’t going to let him waltz back in and ruin everything. Mammon wasn’t weak, he was way stronger than he looked, and right now he was showing his strength, grabbing Asmo’s arm and practically throwing him out of the room. His teeth were barred and the growl that was coming from him sounded feral, animalistic, it was terrifying. “Neither of them are yers! I’ve been there fer everything, every doctor visit, I even bought a damn room fer the kid and she’s sleepin’ in my room, next ta me, and a next ta Y/N. Ya know why?! ‘Cause ya don’t jus’ get ta come back when ya fine’ly realize that ya fucked up! Now… leave us alone. We don’t need ya here.” He left Asmo out in the hallway, crumpled against the wall as he walked back into the room. “She…” Asmo kept repeating the word as he pushed himself up off the floor. He was having a daughter, and he hadn’t even known about it, he wouldn’t have known about it if Mammon hadn’t screamed at him. It was strange how knowing made things more real, it made him care more, and the worst part was that he knew it wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair to you. He didn’t know how to fix what he had done, but he knew that he had to try at least. “Lucifer…” “I don’t want things to be like this when she gets here. It’s not going to be long either.” You sighed, finally relaxing once more in the bed once Mammon got in next to you. “Why was he here anyway?” Mammon shrugged, focusing all of his attention on your stomach trying to calm himself. He liked watching it move, he thought it was neat.

The delivery was smoother than you thought it would be, and Mammon only fainted twice during the whole thing, so he did pretty good. Delivering a child in the Devildom had its perks, the main one being that you didn’t have to stay more than one day in the hospital to recover. They did some spell and you were completely fine. It was strange, but you appreciated it greatly. The only issue with the perk was that it meant you were going back home and that meant you’d have to face Asmo. She looked so much like him, and you could tell that Mammon was upset by it. Even though he knew she wasn’t actually his, he wished that she didn’t look so much like her father. Her eyes were his exact color, and it left you speechless when she first opened them, gazing up at you with wonder and curiosity. She was precious, and she was yours. As you walked through the door you were met with balloons and streamers, and Asmo. You heard Mammon growl quietly, and you quickly held your hand out to him, silently begging him to stop. He was holding the carseat and you didn’t need him to lose his temper right now. “I just wanted to welcome her home, welcome you home. I bought some things for her, they’re outside of Mammon’s door.” Asmo said nervously, and for once he was terrified of being rejected. “We don’t need noth-” Mammon had started, but you quickly shook your head, pleading to him with your eyes to just stay calm. He groaned loudly, eyeing Asmo angrily before walking past him to the stairs. “Fine. She’s prob’ly hungry… I’m gonna feed ‘er. Ya comin’ up?” You nodded quickly, making sure he got up the stairs alright before turning back to Asmo. “What are you doing, Asmo?”

He moved into the living room, waiting for you to sit down before he did, and he looked scared, he looked sad. Of course you didn’t like seeing him like this, but it was his fault, he had caused all of this. “I don’t want to be alone. I know that sounds selfish, that I’m making this about myself again, but I’m not trying to. When Mammon told me… he said she… It's a girl?” You nodded slowly and you saw his face light up for only a second before it left once more. “I was scared, I am scared… I didn’t know if I’d be a good… father. I never saw myself as one, but seeing Mammon, and he’s doing so well… I never saw him as a father either… I thought that maybe, since he could… that maybe I could too.” He sighed, bringing his hand back up to his lips to chew at his fingers again, his orange eyes glistening with the tears that hadn’t fallen yet. “I know that what I said was wrong… I was rude. I didn’t think I’d have a problem finding someone to take my mind off of everything, but I was wrong. I love you, and nobody else is going to take your place, nobody else can take your place.” You both sat on the couch in silence, his tears finally falling as he waited for you to say something, and yours building up as you tried to think of something to say. “This isn’t fair… You know this isn’t fair. You can’t… you can’t pick and choose when you want to be a dad. You weren’t there… and you made it very clear that you didn’t want her. I… I can’t do this Asmo… I’m sorry… They’re waiting for me… I-I have to go.” You took a deep breath as you stood from the couch, wiping your tears with the back of your hands as you started walking to the stairs. “Y/N…” He walked up behind you, grabbing your hand to stop you. You didn’t turn around to face him, you couldn’t bring yourself to do it, but he didn’t mind. He was actually thankful that you didn’t look at him, because what he was about to say was the hardest thing he’d ever have to say in his life. “I know that I’m unwanted… But… If I may… Can I meet her? Just once? Please?”

[heartfulofsighs]

Nice Things…

Hello All! Coming back with little writings here and there as my inspiration comes along. A little episode inside of the Something to do with Jackson sphere (1, 2) 

Let me know what you think! @negrowhat you know I gotta tag you in everything lol

Jackson decides you both are in need of a little rest and relaxation. Nothing is better then a nice beach house complete with a gigantic bath tub. 

About 4k words; Warnings: Very light smut like its super light, but I’m obligated to say it includes fingering a praise kink and a bathtub. 

Laundry shouldn’t be difficult. Well in retrospect it wasn’t difficult at your old apartment. The laundry room there was stocked with 5 very old very worn washing and drying machines. They were faithful and predictable. They only had about 3 options and 2 dials. Simplicity at its best. You missed them every time you had a load to wash and dry. You had been living in Jackson’s apartment for months and you still couldn’t figure out his machines. For one thing they were sleek and black, very modern, apparently super efficient. They worked via a touch screen and the breath of options that appeared every time you fired them up made you nervous. Twice you had shrunk a favorite article of clothing. You had also ruined your running shoes, the washing machine seemed incredibly aggressive to you. But today was going to be different. This was your only task. You could do this. The touch screen lit up, you took a breath, the beeping started and an array of options appeared. Water temperatures, agitation speeds, your finger hovered over the first option- “BABY, THIS IS WHERE YOU WERE!?” Jackson’s voice boomed in the laundry room. You turned, frantic that all his noise would upset whatever fragile understanding you had. “Jackson!” You hissed, “shush!”

  His hands snapped to cover his mouth. He looked around his brows knitted, “what’s going on?” He whispered. “I’ just,” you turned back to the machine but you didn’t feel the same confidence, “I’m trying to figure out your stupid space aged washing machine.” You confessed, “everytime I put something in here I ruin it.” “Maybe you’re thinking about it too hard.” He walked up behind you and looked down at the same screen. “Baby?” He began slowly, he touched the screen flicking left twice until he got to a place that said ‘presets’.  “Why don’t you just use these instead of trying to pick through all those other settings? This is what I use.” “You’ve got to be kidding me.” You muttered softly. There were easy to understand presets displayed proudly.   “You didn’t know about these?” He asked, “I could have sworn I showed you the last time you shrunk your sweater?” You rubbed your face in continued disbelief. All this time. “The dryer has presets too, did I show you those?” He kept talking because of course to him this wasn’t a big deal. You had made it one, once again, something tiny had become huge to you.   “You want me to help you with your laundry? Since I’m home today I wanna spend it with you ok?” When you took your hands away from your face he was beaming like the sun at you. You wondered how he could look so worry free. His job was so stressful, he barely got time for himself or you yet he was always beaming. You wanted to be a bit more like him. Just enough so that inanimate objects stopped irritating you for no reason.            “If you want to help sure, but this stuff is kinda boring. You sure you don’t want to nap? Or I could make you something to eat?” You offered.          “We can do that after, this won’t take long.” He pointed out. He wasn’t wrong. You selected the ‘delicates’ option since you wanted to wash your undies and bras first.          “Ok, delicates first then.” You looked in his direction expectantly. The two baskets of laundry were already separated.            “Just pass me the stuff in the blue basket.”  You instructed, “I’ll do them first.”   He dutifully began to hand you clothes. Some things he stopped to look at. “When did you get this bra?” He asked holding up a flowery bra that you had bought a few weeks ago.   “Like two weeks ago?” You guessed, maybe three. Your hand was outstretched waiting for it. “Oh,” was all he said before he handed it over, “I haven’t see you wear it.” He said softer. “Well, it’s a bra Jackson…” You tried. He handed you a few pairs of underwear which you put in. He was a touch less cheerful as you finished loading. He helped with the detergent and softner before he got the machine started. “I feel so dumb,” when you turned to him he frowned. “I really wish I had remembered about the presets. I’ve been having a battle with this machine since I got here.” You confessed. “Baby...I really don’t think it’s a big deal.” He leaned down and pecked you. “You can ask me questions you know? Before you make a mountain out of a molehill.” “But I’m so good at that.”  You pointed out. He kissed you again. His hands trailing down your arms. When you pulled away he pouted. “Let me at least finish the chores, I have a few things more I wanna clean.” You complained. He accepted this and let you go, “I’m gonna have two weeks off...do you have a lot of work?” He asked. It took you a moment to think about what you had to do, some things could wait and really only one required you to finish immediately. “I just have to finish one job then I think I can take some time off.” You stretched and looked at him with curiosity. “What did you want to do?” He pushed some of your hair behind your ear, “can we go on vacation?” “Where did you want to go?” You spoke as you tied your hair up. “Someplace warm?” You asked. He nodded, “an island!” It seemed like a solid idea. You thought it over, Jackson in his usual fashion grew impatient. He tapped his feet and poked out his lip, “we can have a private beach house…” He edged closer. “That sounds...isn’t that a little extravagant?” You often wondered when you would be able to accept Jackson’s penchant for spending on you. There was something that always made you cringe. “I don’t want you to spend too much-” He frowned and you snapped your mouth closed, “you deserve…” He began. You sighed, “nice things.” He accepted you finishing his sentence quietly before he went back to trying to convince you. “It’ll be private...no cameras...just you and me.” He had basically backed you against the machine. He leaned forward and set his hands on it, caging you in. You couldn’t look away. “We live together but I always miss you,” he kissed you and it was mostly soft. “I’m gone a lot and I feel horrible about it,” he kissed you again nibbling on your bottom lip. “Do you miss me when I’m not here?” “Like crazy.” You whispered. His eyes were on yours, pupils wide. His breathing picked up as you snaked your arms around his neck. “So let me take you to the beach, let’s spend a week....please.” His kiss was less soft more insistent. He pushed until your back was pressed to the machine, the hum seemed to burn through your blood. You kissed him back, hands gripping the hair on the nap of his neck. The time apart always made the time together feel like a single point in the universe. There wasn’t a whole apartment, a whole city, there was just you and Jackson. Starved for each other, hungry to touch and feel. He was so good at making you melt, so good at making you desperate for him. You tasted him and whimpered. The beach was suddenly a fantastic idea, more time alone for more of this. He ground against you and his moan made your knees weak. “Ok,” you managed to say against his lips. He pulled away and beamed at you. The unmistakable look of getting his way. “So we’ll go the day after tomorrow...I actually may have set it up already.” “Jackson.”

You had never been swept away before. In past relationships you had lacked the time and your partners seemed to lack the motivation. It hadn’t bothered you truly because how can you miss something you didn’t have to begin with? You thought about it as you packed and he buzzed around the room with excitement. “Don’t forget bathing suites!” He warned, “and sunscreen!” “I have both.” You answered slowly, “and something nice for dinner...right?” When you looked up he was zipping his bag up. “Yes, and then...not much else…” He raised his eyebrows quickly suggestively and you giggled. He stopped to touch his hand to your leg, “I love you in anything.”   “If it was up to you, I’d just walk around naked all the time.” You said slowly. He considered this then said, “only if you want.” Then he was moving again, his energy nervous all throughout the room. “Are you almost done?” He asked. “The car will be here soon.” You just needed to decide on your one nice outfit. It had been a while since you had really gone out. He had seen you in just about everything you owned...except.... At the back of your closet you had hung a tropical print skirt and top set. It was out of your comfort zone but the print would really work. “Hurry hurry baby.” He chided. You had just enough time to grab it from the closet and stuff it into your bag. He took your hand and led you. The smile on his face relaxed yet you could feel the excitement bubbling out of him. He kissed you in the elevator before the doors opened, then led you to the long black car idling at the apartment building’s entrance. He opened the door for you and waited till you were settled before he put the bags in the trunk and got in next to you. Then his hand was back in yours like it belonged there. “Do you think you’ll get recognized at the airport?” You tried your best not to sound nervous but the thought of screaming fans made your stomach heavy. “I don’t think so, we’ll be in then out.” He brought your linked hands up for a kiss. “Don’t be nervous, it’ll be fine.” You settled into the seat and tried your best not to worry. The media in a way wasn’t very interested in you and Jackson’s story anymore. When they did happen to catch photos of you two together it wasn’t big news but most of the comments were still pretty awful. It was better for your mental health to not read them but every so often you saw yourself online and couldn’t stop yourself from looking. The general take was that you were literally a weight dragging him down. It never seemed like a good idea to comment back, better to just read it all in silence, and really it wasn’t all bad. There was a spattering of people who liked you. Who said nice things and said they were cheering on the relationship. People who pointed out that Jackson was happier with you in his life. You weren’t sure if you would give yourself that much credit but you hoped that he felt how you did. He leaned over, “what are you thinking about so hard?” He planted a kiss on your cheek startling you out of your own head. He had a way of knowing when you were thinking yourself down a rabbit hole. He redirected you gently and patiently. His hand squeezed yours again.   “Nothing, just the work I left...hopefully I did enough.” You said. He knew it wasn’t that, but he didn’t push.. He kissed you on the cheek again, “don’t worry about it, just try your best to relax.”  He whispered. It took you a moment of second guessing, but there was no real use in fighting with Jackson. Especially since you actually did need a relaxing vacation. There would be no worries on the beach, that’s all you had to tell yourself over and over and over again.  

There weren’t any cameras, no reporters, no mobs of fans. He had his mask pulled up and dark sunglasses on. You were wearing one of his caps and your own mask pulled up. The two of you looked like any couple on their way to a romantic trip. He only let go of you to pass through security. Once his hand was out of yours there were new worries. An airplane. The last time you had flown you were forced between a grumpy office worker and a woman who seemed to have bathed in perfume. You remember distinctly how the office worker had complained about her perfume and how she called him lonely and sad. It had been for the most part very unpleasant. Suddenly all you could think about were all your worse flights.  You fumbled through security, including the awkward second search. Taking his hand on the other side calmed you down a little bit. “You’re making a mountain again.” He said into your ear. “I can’t remember ever having a good flight,” you squeezed his hand and almost missed a step. “Every flight that lands safely is a good flight baby.” He chimed happily and just like that you relaxed a bit. He was right of course. Bad seatmates didn’t make a bad flight. Small things didn’t have to be big. Once again you tried to calm yourself, to convince yourself that you were on vacation. You were being swept away and it would be great if all your extra thoughts could be swept away too.

“This is the house?” After a flight you slept through, and an ok trip through the airport that involved a car rental associate who was star struck, here the two of you were. The house was directly on the beach. From the outside it didn’t look like much which made you feel a bit better. If he had rented a beach mansion or something along those lines you would have worried the whole trip about how much all of it had cost and...and if you were really worth all the trouble. But this,...this was so quaint and so cozy. “This is it.” He pulled into the driveway and then put the car into park. You got out admiring the house’s slightly cracked white paint, the green ivy underneath the two small windows on either side of the weathered wooden door. The waves sounded incredibly close and you guessed the beach was literally right in your backyard. Jackson was behind you with your bags. “Here,” when you turned he was holding the key towards you all smiles, “open her up.” He instructed. The key got stuck for a moment in the lock. You panicked per usual but it gave when you pushed your shoulder against the heavy wood. “Be careful,” he clucked his tongue at you but you ignored him. You were stuck looking at the inside. Everything was so bright. You sucked in a breath because of all the light. There were huge skylights all throughout. The entryway was neat, a small blue weathered table held a bowl where Jackson dropped the car keys. He pressed his hand to the small of your back and your feet automatically started to shuffle step forward. The entryway opened into a small kitchen with white tile and teal cabinets. The appliances didn’t look new aged or terrifying like Jackson’s. The big white well loved looking stove was comforting. Through the kitchen There was an open airy dinning room and living room. The living room ended in two gigantic glass doors that opened onto a hedge enclosed patio. The bricks were weathered but still a good red. There was a round picnic table with a few shelves, a rack with two surfboards, and what looked like a hot tub. He wrapped his arms around your waist and kissed your cheek, “let’s look at the bedroom.” It was through a doorway off the kitchen, past a half bathroom. The bedroom suite seemed to be all windows. There were three huge windows with breezy white curtains. The bed was gigantic four poster deal, piled high with pillows at the head. The comforter was white like everything else. “There’s one of those clawfoot tubs,” He led you a little further in, towards the doorway of the bathroom. The tub was huge. There was a shower head on the wall above it. Another two windows, more light. “This place is beautiful.” You finally got out. He squeezed your hand, “I know you like simple things and I thought this place would be nice. The beach is right down a back path and-” You tipped your chin up lips pursed asking for him to dip and kiss you. “Thank you so much for bringing me,” you spoke against his lips. He wrapped his arms around your waist. “You’re welcome.” His smile was triumphant. He only let you go to help unpack but beamed the entire time like a happy child. You knew this look, his eyes were centered on yours. He licked his lips before he kissed you. “I picked this house because it’s cozy and…” He trailed off to kiss you again. “And?” “And you never wanna have fun in my bathtub so I made sure that this house had one that was so big you couldn’t argue with me about soaking together.”  He explained. “Jackson.” He beamed again his face back to innocence, “don’t you want to soak with me?” He asked. “You don’t just want to soak,” you pointed out. He shrugged, “humor me.”  In truth he had begged to soak with you plenty of times but the tub in his apartment made you nervous. You had this vision of the two of you settling in and getting stuck or getting in and overflowing the tub in an embarrassing splash. Well maybe it wouldn’t be embarrassing to him but in your mind it was motifying.  You bit your bottom lip and considered the big claw foot tub in the house again. “I guess there’s no harm in a nice soak.” You said softly.  He could barely contain his excitement, he moved deliberately trailing his hands down your waist then squeezing. He searched your face before he broke out into a grin that made you laugh.   “Jackson,” it was hard not to laugh at him. “Jackson right now? You don’t want to eat first?” He cocked his head, “I do, but let’s do that later, my back hurts from the flight.” You made a ‘sure’ face but didn’t argue. It was better to humor him, he gave your bottom another not so gentle squeeze before kissing the top of your head. “So a nice bath, then I’ll make you food,...” he trailed off and took your hand.

The fragrance from the bubble bath he found was making your head feel dreamy and relaxed. His back was against one side of the tub and yours was on the other. He insisted on massaging your feet and there really wasn’t any huge point to arguing. He rubbed away while you sighed slowly to yourself. “You have the cutest little feet.” He murmured. “They’re so gross.” Your response was automatic, years of having being told they were flawed in some way meant that you were use to parroting back the words when you were complimented. “They’re perfect on you.” He dug deep into the sole of your foot and you couldn’t help but groan. “Always say nice things about yourself.” He murmured. “Yeah I know.” You sunk lower into the water and he took the invitation to work his hands up your leg. It was hard for you to say nice things about yourself all the time. You were use to your self deprecating jokes. But he was quick to redirect them, he always told you to make it nice instead. His hands were steady on your body focusing your mind back into the moment.  It was never gonna be just a soak, but you didn’t do anything to stop him. He felt the back of your knee and a shiver ran up your body. His eyes were focused on your skin, “you’ll let me do this at home now right?” He pulled himself a little closer so his hands could go further up, “a nice hot bath, foot massages.” “You’re very good at them,” your voice was barely above a whisper. His eyes seemed to darken. He leaned farther forward, upsetting the water and bubbles so he could kiss your forehead. Under the water his hand had made it all the way up which meant his fingers were in a prime position to rub you where you were most sensitive. He kept the pressure light, teasing you. A whine broke past your lips. He ducked his head and kissed you. “I want you to relax,” he said softly against your lips, he dipped his fingers inside of you. It was so hard not to squirm, he pulled them back and forth slowly before he stopped. You gripped the sides of the the tub and tried to urge him to move. His eyes were mischievous. “Jackson,” You tried to roll your hips to get him to do anything but tease you. He cocked his head, “say something nice about yourself.” The command confused you. Your brow furrowed and for a moment you were confused, “what?” He pulled his hand completely away and touched your face instead. “I read that it’s nice to hear compliments from others but reinforcing it with words you say to yourself is even better.” His voice was earnest his hand dipped into the water again and found your breast. “Something nice…” He played with your nipple and you whimpered. Your mind was reaching for something, any sort of compliment that would make sense. “I like my thighs.”   He beamed, triumphant, then pinched your nipple lightly, “what else baby? You’re so beautiful there’s a million things to compliment.” You were so use to his praise that it was hard to give yourself the same attention. He switched to your other nipple and kissed your forehead again. “One more.” He encouraged. You swallowed, his hands sending pleasure and want all throughout your body. You willed your brain and your mouth to talk, to say something so he would give you what you needed. “I have nice skin...the cream you gave me makes it so soft.” You admitted. He liked that, he kissed you harder. He had both hands involved now, tickling the sides of your tummy. The giggle that escaped your mouth made his smile even wider. “The most perfect skin.” He spent the rest of the bath praising you. Cooing all his favorite compliments while he played with your body. It didn’t take long before your hands gripped the side of the tub and you called his name. Your body locked and then the pleasure ripped through your limbs in what felt like a blaze. Dimly you knew you had splashed water and maybe that would have embarrassed you, but there were more important things. Like the way you still shook while he kissed you everywhere he could reach. If you felt dreamy before your mind was downright foggy now. “You liked that baby?” He asked, finally pulling away to look at you. Your bones felt like jelly, thank god the tub wasn’t too deep. There was no doubt in your mind you would have melted further into the water. It took you what felt like hours to barely nod your head and indicate that yes you had indeed liked it. “It’s so cute when you say my name like that.” he went back to sitting across the tub from you, a smug smile on his face. You didn’t know what face you were making but hopefully it was satisfied. “Let’s just spend the rest of the time here.” You finally got out. He didn’t argue with you, just rested his head on the rim of the tub, “as long as you’re happy that’s all I care about.” You sat up a little, “I’m the happiest I’ve been in forever.” “Perfect.” He spoke softly and maybe it was more to himself than you but he was right. The feeling was perfect.        

[castiel-left-his-mark-on-me]

Hi, Ary, very inactive ex-mutual(i think???) here. Good to see you thriving! ♥ It's been a while since I've dipped my head into cockles stuff. Could I perchance maybe ask uuuuum tf is going on??? lol I see Mish apparently confirmed he used to stay over at Jensen's in Van, and heard newbs were apparently freaking out about it and getting a bit messy, which I get that, business as usual. But I'm also seeing shit about spin-offs? And Jared getting in a twitter fight with Jensen, causing/resulting in stans to going feral and sending hate?? I know you're not as big a fan of Jar, but that's part of why I figured I'd ask you, you usually have a really level head about this kinda stuff. If you don't wanna answer publically, or at all, that's totally chill!

Hey, Rhi! We're still mutuals! Of course we're still mutuals! When I saw the notification of your ask, I was like "Hey! I haven't seen you in a while!" and my husband was like "???" and I said "Tumblr" and he said "Oh."

It was a wild time haha.

In any case, welcome back to the dumpster fire! We are obviously still a mess. So to catch you up, I guess I will start by summarizing both before and after the finale (not sure where you left off so this might be redundant for you) ... basically, it became obvious as the end of the show neared that Jensen was not on board with the plan for the finale; although Jared never stopped singing its praises.

We got confirmation of this during a zoom interview where Jensen said that he actually went into the writers room as well as called Kripke to basically voice how he didn't agree with the direction the final season was going, but he was shot down on all fronts. In another interview, he was asked "What would you tell your younger self going into this career?" And Jensen responded with: "I would tell myself to just keep your head down and do the work" meaning, "Don't try to change things because you can't." I also think that this whole situation is what he wrote "Let Me Be" about for his first Radio Company album, but that is just my own speculation. All of his reluctance, even though he always followed it up with "But I eventually saw the value in the script" or "I came around in the end" (which never sounded sincere, and I don't think he was really trying to sound sincere) made us all very nervous about what was to come for 15x20; and of course, when the last two episodes aired, we saw just how badly they fucked it up.

After the awful finale, the entire fandom became aware of the CW's heavy handed role in the thing, basically squeezing all the life out of SPN to shape it into a ramp from which Walker could launch itself. They not only erased all the love and joy and representation that Cas's love confession gave us, they also tore apart the things that made sense about the bond between Sam and Dean, making it really just about Sam-- and therefore Jared, which of course, Jared seemed to be fine with ... even though no one else was. Misha barely said anything during the finale, and a few of the other actors talked about the show ending in various posts, but Jared tweeted up a storm ... and Jensen? Jensen just sat in sexy-silent resentment of the whole thing. He didn't tweet, he didn't post, he didn't say a word once he no longer had to, and I think that's because he was already going full-steam-ahead on his plans for redemption.

Which brings us to Chaos Machine-- Jensen and Danneel's new production company that is being run by a queer creative director and has a mantra of inclusivity and representation woven throughout it's fabric; and apparently, the first story that Jensen wanted to tell through this new platform is the origin story of Sam and Dean's parents; so last week (?) he announced the upcoming production of "The Winchesters" -- the untold love story of John and Mary. Obviously, John is not the most likable character from the show, so the idea was met with a lot of resentment when it was first announced, but Jensen has gone on to say that he is excited to take on the task of telling the "true" story behind these characters-- the one that makes sense with the pre-established canon and doesn't reject it. So, given that, the idea is being mulled over with a bit more optimism from the fandom.

Who isn't being optimistic though?

Jared Padalecki.

When Jensen made this announcement on Twitter, many of his friends and coworkers congratulated him, but not Jared. Jared responded with a passive aggressive: "I'm happy for you, man, but I wish I didn't hear about it through Twitter." This of course, sent all the die-hard Jared fans into a tizzy and they immediately began asking him if he was serious (hoping it was just a joke-- we all hoped it was because there would be fallout no matter what one's opinion on Jared is). Instead of leaving it there though or just deleting that tweet, Jared went on to tweet some more, saying that he was being serious that he didn't know about the plans for the prequel, and that he was "gutted" that Sam apparenlty wouldn't be included (mind you, this a prequel to SPN... meaning BEFORE Sam and Dean were even born, so how could Sam be included? But Dean is apparently narrating this story so maybe Jared thought Sam should be helping to narrate it? I don't know). But Jared being Jared couldn't just leave that there, he then went on to tweet at Robbie Thompson who was announced as a writer for "The Winchesters" so then Jared went off on him too, calling him "Brutus" and a "coward" acting like Robbie betrayed him (speculation is-- Robbie refused to write for Walker, so Jared is pissed that he essentially chose Jensen over him). He did fairly quickly, remove that tweet attacking Robbie, but of course the damage was done at that point. And it truly only took his first tweet calling out Jensen for some people to be like "Jared-- that sucks if you didn't know but why are you saying any of this publicly?"

As you might know, Jared has had issues in the past with posting hurtful things on social media, and has even used it as a tool for attack before-- calling out customer service agents and public workers that he felt have wronged him, which is bad enough ... but for him to then do the same thing to his best friend of well over a decade? Many people who had once liked him or at least gave him the benefit of the doubt (I used to ...) stopped after this latest twitter tantrum.

However, some people have suspected for some time that J2 had a falling out either shortly before the finale or just after. Their public/social media interactions have seemed awkward, stilted or even non-existent in moments that they normally wouldn't be. In the past year, when Walker premiered, Jensen didn't say much about his friend's new venture other than a "Congrats. buddy" here and there. Later, we learned that Jensen refused to work on the show ... Jared said he make him do it, drag Jensen to the set "kicking and screaming" which made many fans quirk up an eyebrow because, why would Jensen put up a fight unless the two weren't as close as they used to be? And then Jensen moved his family to Colorado (either permanently or for an extended period at least) which is notable considering how he moved to Texas seemingly to be closer to Jared, even buying a house that was near his. All this was just speculation though; but it wasn't until Jared's tweet complaining about not knowing about the prequel that the theories behind them falling out, became less theory and more fact.

The day after his twitter tantrum, Jared tweeted again-- not retracting his statements or apologizing, but instead saying that he and Jensen "talked" and were "all good". Jensen then tweeted too, parroting this statement to some degree, which only made the whole thing even more sour in the mouths of the fans. The fact that Jared didn't apologize for his outburst and throwing his friend under the bus, and also the fact that Jensen-- Mr. Sexy Silence, Mr. Never Tweets, Mr. Tech-Ignorant-and-Proud, actually had to POST SOMETHING saying that he and Jared made up, it just screamed OPTICS. It was obviously the work of agents and PR firms and lots of people going "Look, if you two keep beefing, that will mean the death of both of your projects. Even more people will stop watching Walker, and this SPN prequel will never get picked up due to the scandal." So, the two "made nice" publicly to quell the chaos, but in my opinion, it's all too little too late. Jared started a storm that he can't contain now with a little tweet, and it seems like he knows that too because before he talked about him and Jensen making up, he asked that people "not send threats". He could have just as easily said that he shouldn't have made this a public issue and that he's sorry, but instead, he continued to play the victim and stoke the flames by alerting us all to the damage he's done.

Now, like I said before-- I used to give him the benefit of the doubt. I don't think he's an awful human or that he deserves to be attacked or anything, but he is an adult man with very poor judgment and an obvious selfish-streak a mile wide. He should know better, and he should have more respect for his so-called "friends" and "brothers" than to make them targets to public ridicule. I have a hard time believing that Jensen still sees Jared the way he used to, and I wouldn't blame him a bit for wanting to pull away-- especially when he's moving on to so many new and exciting things. Jared certainly deserves happiness just as much as anyone else, but he went on twitter and basically asked for a scandal, and he got one.

The question is now-- was there a motive behind it? Was just looking for a reason to bring his and Jensen's falling out to light-- while making himself looking like the victim in the process? Or did he genuinely not know about the prequel and just decided to go about "not knowing" in the most toxic and hurtful way he could manage?

In any case, that is the drama ... that is the J2 insanity in a rather lengthy nutshell ... that is the tea ... and I hope it all makes sense.

But the good news out of all of this is, Cockles is thriving-- they are happy and in love and Jensen calls Misha "Babe" and Misha misses waking up to see Jensen in the morning, and they are just as cute and wonderful as can be.

So, I will end that there. I am so glad to see you back, and I hope I answered all your questions in a way that made sense ... I tried anyway!

💖💖💖

[dylanobrienisbatman]

The main problem with the whole mal vs the darkling thing in regards to being possessive (or really when it comes to any of their traits) is the fact that throughout, the darkling is clearly framed as the villain and his actions reflect that, whereas Mal as supposed to be the good guy and best romantic partner for Alina, and yet he has all these awful character traits and tendencies. So its less about how awful the Bad Guy is (since he's supposed to be), and more about how awful the person that we're supposed to believe is the best option for Alina is. I don't ship either, just my two cents.

Okay well... two things. First, your comment about "its less about how awful the bad guy is, since he's supposed to be", takes every comment I've made about Darkles out of context, which seems fitting since everything Darklina's spout about Mal is out of context. Him being the Bad Guy is fine, and if you like him AS A VILLAIN, and acknowledge all the bad shit he does, then my posts aren't for you. I think he's a very interesting villain, and a lot of the terrible shit he does that I have to keep making posts about make him a good villain, the problem is when the terrible shit the "Bad Guy" does is romanticized and viewed as the reasons why Alina SHOULD have picked him. So, don't assume everyone gets that "hes supposed to be awful". The point my post was making is that Darklina's love to call Mal possessive, but then turn around and act like Darkles literally enslaving her in somehow sexy and romantic. It's fucking not, and it's transparent as hell that y'all romanticize and sexualize the actually possessive character, and then project false character traits onto Mal. It's so transparent, it's almost funny.

But, more importantly, to your second, very wrong point, I wonder how much of the narrative about Mal having "awful character traits and tendencies" is actually a commentary on Mal as a character, or is it just Darklina's lying about things Mal has done and everyone accepting that misinterpretation as canon. Because, if were making a list...

Fuck boy - False! Mal was not a fuck boy! He was an attractive teenager who hooked up with consenting girls his age when he could, and he was not in a relationship during that time. Alina had never told him how she felt, so he is not beholden to her. (Also, nobody seems to have an issue with the fact that Darkles hooked up with Zoya in the show, that doesn't make HIM a fuckboy... interesting) (also also, nobody seems to discuss Darkles literally sexually assaulting Alina, and lying and manipulating her to get her to be physically intimate with him so he can use her... double interesting).

Slut Shames Alina - FALSE! The ever favourite callout line from Darklina's "He's all over you" isn't him slut shaming her. First, he has no idea what their relationship is like at that point, but more importantly, he is making an observation of her status in the little palace and how she has become his tool. He has dressed her up in his colors, made her put on a show for his benefit, and has created a situation where Alina appears to be his. Mal is noting that after months of searching for her, believing she was being hurt, tortured, or worse, when he arrives to save her, she looks like the Darkling's pet. (and, even if he WAS angry because he perceived them to be romantically involved, boy just spent months fighting for his life, lost multiple friends, and almost died to find her, all while coming to the realisation that he was in love with her, and then he shows up, after not hearing from her for months... I'd be pissed as hell too.) Important Note: He even acknowledges that what he said was wrong and tries to apologise, before Alina tells him that he was right. (Shadow and Bone, pg. 286). He also then apologizes, completely unprompted, for what he said. (Shadow and Bone, pg. 297).

Fat Shames Alina - False! This one is particularly laughable to me, because its one of the Darklina arguments that falls apart the second you actually read the scene. They are running for their lives in the forest, and Mal has to hunt and gather to feed them. He is noting that Alina's appetite has increased since he last saw her, and he makes a joke (ya know, how you do with friends) about how it would be easier to keep her fed if she still had her more meager appetite from before. He makes no comment on her weight, or her size, and he is not actually commenting on her appetite in a negative way, he is just acknowledging that it's a lot more work for him now that she eats more. Right before he says the line, the quote even proves that he isn't shaming her or thinking badly of her: "With a bemused expression, he watched as I gobbled down my portion and then sighed, still hungry". He is noting a change in her, and complaining that its made more work for him. If you think thats the same as fat shaming, well... thats a you problem.

Hates Alina's Powers - FALSE!!!! How to begin... do we talk about it was Mal's idea to hunt the stag in S&B, because he knew she needed it to be more powerful so she could stop the darkling? Do we talk about how he vowed to find the firebird for her, even though he was terrified of what all that power would do to her? Do we talk about how he literally died so she could achieve the power she needed to save the world? Or maybe we could talk about how he believed in her power more than anyone else, like when everyone was making bets about her abilities with the Cut and he knew she'd go further and better than anyone else expected her too, or when he tells her that he was never afraid of her powers, only what seeking all that power would do to her (which is literally the theme of the books, that power corrupts and seeking unmatched power can destroy you)? Mal being afraid of what is going to happen to Alina, being protective of her and worrying over her, is not the same as him hating her powers. He exists to help remind Alina of the themes of the story, and to guide her into maintaining her humanity.

Abusive - ... Do I even need to explain this one? Must I deign an explanation as to why this favourite Darklina lie is so fucking stupid, and also totally hypocrisy? No? Because we all know Darkles is actually the abusive one and they're trying to project their own shit onto Mal to further their abuse apologist agenda? Cool. Moving on.

Possessive of Alina - False! Throughout the entire series, Mal is quite literally the opposite of possessive, but yall just cant read. Not only does he quite literally step out of the way and allow Nikolai to court Alina without argument, which is the most direct example of him not being possessive, he also spends two full books believing, and repeatedly saying over and over and over, that they can't be together because he is not good enough for her. Mal believes, fully, that Alina deserves more than him, better than him, because he's just a tracker and a soldier, just a regular man with nothing to offer her but his love and his protection, and she is a Saint and should be a Queen. Possessiveness is the wish to own and control someone, it is literally the opposite of Mal believing that he's not good enough and doing everything he can to ensure that Alina achieves everything and gets everything he believes she is owed. A possessive character would not tell her to tell him to leave because he has nothing he can offer her, no title or land or country or crown. A possessive character would not promise to be the blade in her hand, because he believed he had nothing but the blood he could spill to offer her.

Angry - True! Yeah, omg, you caught us, Mal is ANGRY! Heaven forbid a teenager who is traumatized beyond belief and has to give up everything in his life, his position in the military (he deserted for her), his friends and the job he loved (Mikhail and Dubrov died for him, and he can't be a tracker in the army... because he deserted... for Alina), and, most importantly, he has to give up Alina (she should be Queen, he believes, and he has to give up the future he imagined with the girl he loves, who he was pretty sure loved him back, because she's a saint and queen and he's just a man), and more, is ANGRY. He has to be the one to find the amplifiers that he knows will end up hurting her, because thats what she needs to save the world. He has to sit by while Nikolai treats him like the dirt on his shoe and tries to woo Alina for his own personal gain (because Nikoalai did not love Alina. Maybe he came to care for her, but he proposed and spent all of S&S trying to get her to marry him when it was obvious they were not in love. He straight up says its so that the next King of Ravka can be married to the Sun Summoner. It's a power grab.) and he can't do anything about it. So yeah, Mal is angry. And yeah, sometimes he's even angry at Alina, just like sometimes she's angry at him. But they always find their way back, always apologize and try to be better for each other, and if you think anger is a toxic trait, and not simply a natural human emotion, might I suggest touching some fucking grass?

Idk why you thought I'd stand for Mal slander on my blog, cuz I will not. So, I'm gonna stop there, because I have shit to do today, but I really do wonder how much of Mal's 'toxic' or 'terrible' traits, that make him such a 'bad' love interest for Alina, really comes from Darklina's who refuse to actually read the text critically at all, and instead take everything he does and says out of context to further their agenda that Alina should have ended up as the Darkling's fucking slave forever, because thats the "girl power feminist" ending somehow. Mal supports her, loves her, sacrifices for her at every turn, and does everything he can do, to the point of literally dying for her, to ensure that she can defeat Darkles and save the world. He protects her, and when they end up happy and safe together on the orphange that they've rebuilt to help the children that were victims of Darkles war and genocide, he spends his days bringing her tea and cakes and flowers, kissing her silly under the stairs in the view of all the teachers, and calling her names like beauty, beloved, cherished, my heart for the rest of their ordinary life together, if love can ever be called that.

[crystalirises]

Phil is a famous and powerful Vampire Hunter with three sons, Wilbur, Tommy and Techno. One night Wilbur gets kidnapped by a vampire, he gets turned into a vampire but for years he has hope his father or twin would come to save him. His family never comes, he eventually gives up on hope and around this time he falls in love with another Vampire named George. They want to have a kid but they can't make one themself, so they surprise adopt Fundy. One of the vampire hunters SBI comes to help and everything goes downhill from here.

also thanks for the great writing

Y O U

I don't know who you are, but I love this prompt so much. Like, I want to confess right now that I actually have like... four (???) vampire AUs that all concern Georgebur + Sondy. I just haven't written them cause well, I just talked about them with a friend and 'm lazy to write XD.

But this prompt. YESSSSSSSSSSSS.

It literally just has everything. Wilbur's daddy issues and abandonment issues. Georgebur. Fundy. Surprise Adoption (Kidnapping). Vampires.

Love it.

Anyway, warnings: Blood, Violence, General Vampire Warnings, Possible Kidnapping, Mentions of Death, Abandonment Issues, Grief, and Suicidal Themes

Hope you like this!

“Eret? W-wha…? It’s the middle of the fucking night, man!”

Wilbur rubbed at his eyes, his friend’s hunched silhouette illuminated by the window.

They didn’t respond, and Wilbur could hear alarm bells ringing in the back of his mind.

He climbed out of bed, taking quick notice of the empty bed on the other side of the room. Techno and Phil must be out. Wilbur tried not to let it hurt him as much, his attention focused on his best friend who hadn’t made a single twitch or move ever since they’d climbed through his bedroom window. Worry settled in his gut, a heavy weight settling over his throat, making it hard to breathe. He stepped closer, the faint scent of metal piercing through the air. Wilbur nearly gagged, pressing a hand to his mouth and nose. Blood. He glanced down at the carpeted floor, goosebumps running down his skin as he gazed at the dark pool that was forming beneath Eret.

“ERET!” Wilbur gripped his friend by the shoulders, “What happened?!”

“Wil…?” Eret practically collapsed against him, hands clinging to the back of his shirt like their life depended on it. Underneath the darkness of the room, Wilbur could hardly look Eret in the eyes. Eret shook within his hold, almost like they were struggling against some force. “N-n-no!”

“Hey, hey, what’s wrong?! Who did this?!” Wilbur pulled Eret away, but their head was leaned against his shoulder, their breath cold against his neck. It was difficult to see, but after a moment, he found the source of Eret’s pain. There was a dagger lodged against their back, just a few inches off Eret’s heart. He felt a panic course through him. Should he fucking pull it out?! He wasn’t a fucking healer, what the fuck was he supposed to do?! “Shit, shit, shit, fuck, um… I…”

His fingers grasped at the leather hilt, his mind screaming at him to do something, anything! Wilbur took a moment to listen to Eret’s breathing, their shallow breaths were mere puffs against his skin. He could feel Eret’s blood between his fingers, somehow, the blade hadn’t stopped the bleeding. Wilbur made a choice. He wouldn’t let his best friend bleed out. “I’m so sorry, Eret.”

Wilbur pulled the blade, wincing at the squelch of flesh and blood that resonated through the room. It was easy to ignore, since Eret let out the most unholy screech that Wilbur had ever heard in his life. He shuddered at the scream, the pain within its shriek. He swore that it sounded like— Eret collapsed against him, unconscious, but their breath had regained normalcy. Wilbur hesitantly held onto them, attention turning to the blade that he’d pulled from his best friend. Their village wasn’t the safest place, but one could usually walk around without being stabbed.

He held the dagger, blood still sticky against the skin of his palm. Wilbur brought the blade closer, eyes narrowing. It was a blade made of pure silver, the hilt dyed pink with a pink ribbon tied to one end. A chill ran down his spine. He adjusted the dagger, looking at the bottom of the hilt. A silver crow stared back at him. It was his dad’s symbol, but it was Techno’s blade.

He dropped the blade just as a searing pain tore through his throat.

He screamed, sharp teeth biting deeper into his skin.

Jagged claws gripped at the back of his shirt, an inhumane growl tearing through the air as Eret suddenly pushed him to the ground, holding him still as they continued to feed on his blood.

His mind turned to fog, but he could hear the slam of a door in the distance… 

“WILBUR!” Someone screamed. But he was dragged away. And then there was nothing.

---

“I’m sorry…”

It was the first thing Eret had told him once he’d woken up, and they’d been saying it ever since.

“Sorry doesn’t change me back, Eret. Sorry doesn’t make me any less of a monster than you!”

“I didn’t mean to, Wilbur!” Eret wrapped their arms around themself, “I was tired and injured.”

“Of course you were fucking injured!” He hissed out, “You deserved to be!”

“I know.” Eret hung their head, “I know, Wilbur. I’ve known that all my life.”

“Then you should have given yourself the mercy of death the moment you first turned!”

“You don’t think I tried?!” They both took a breath. They stood in one of the many great halls of Eret’s home, a castle hidden deep within the forest, far from the prying gaze of any mortal. Eret gestured to the portraits of vampires before them, vampires that were absent from the castle. Wilbur and Eret were the only ones in the castle, and in the past few months, Wilbur wondered where Eret’s servants were. Where were the butlers? The maids? The human bloodbanks? “I’m not ancient, but I might as well be. I come from a long ancestry of vampires, but it wasn’t by choice, Wilbur. My… sire… he was cruel, but he cared for me too much to let me go and die.”

“Where’s your sire now?”

“I don’t know.” Shame danced across Eret’s face, “But I know that I fear death to try again.”

“So you’d rather drink the blood of the innocent? You’d rather be a monster?!”

“It’s been so long, Wilbur. I don’t recall what it is even like to be human.” It was an odd confession, one filled with so much heart that if Wilbur didn’t know that vampires didn’t have beating hearts, he might have fallen for the trick. He scowled instead, disgust ripping throughout his whole being. To think they’d been his closest friend. Instead, they’d turned and betrayed him by turning him into a parasite like them. “I don’t want to hurt anyone. But I get so hungry—”

“Then fucking control it!” It was unreasonable, and they both knew that. Wilbur should know, in the first few days since he’s turning, he kept attacking Eret since his new stomach needed his sire’s blood. He’d gotten better control… but sometimes the hunger would take over him again. Eret never complained. Not like they had any right to, after all, this mess was their fucking fault.

“My dad will come for me.” Wilbur spoke softly, “And when he does, I hope he kills us both.”

“I hope not.” Eret shuddered, “In truth, Wilbur. I don’t want to die.” Wilbur didn’t care.

---

“You’re new. Intriguing, but a bit too humanlike for my taste.”

He groaned, burying his head in his hands. Eret had apologized, but for the evening they were meant to host a gathering for the renowned vampire families within the continent. Wilbur had been forced to wear a yellow suit that had a collar that scratched and irritated his neck. After an hour of being gazed and prodded at, he’d had enough of the gathering and had snuck away to a secluded balcony. Fuck Eret’s reputation. Unfortunately, a nuisance had followed after him.

“What, and humans are as good as livestock for you?”

“What of you? Do you understand that not all vampires kill those that they feed upon?”

“Doesn’t change that you’re all bloodsucking leeches.” He huffed, turning away to gaze into the distance. In the forest, one could see the stars of the night, but the only lights Wilbur wanted to see were of a village far, far away. It’s been years. Phil wasn’t coming for him. Neither was Techno. He rubbed at his wrists, the silence felt nice… but he knew the other vampire hadn’t left.

“That’s your issue. You still act human when you’re no longer one. Haven’t you understood that you’re trapped just like the rest of us… well, the rest of them?” The stranger moved to stand next to him, placing their arms against the cold stone banister. Wilbur took a moment to glance over, his breath catching in his throat. A pair of warm chocolate eyes stared up at him curiously. The stranger wore a light blue suit, and despite Wilbur’s assumption that all vampires were tall, this stranger was short… shorter than Wilbur. He was dressed finely, carrying himself with a strong elegance that only years of nobility could give. The only oddity was the goggles around his neck.

“...what do you mean?”

“I’ve been alive for centuries.” The stranger sighed, “I’m one of the ancients.”

“So you’ve turned many innocents into monsters.” The stranger let out a low laugh, mirthless and tired. It sounded like they’ve been told the same accusation before. Wilbur squirmed right where he stood. In truth, the stranger was far from what he expected an Ancient Vampire to be. Phil had told them that Ancient Vampires were powerful, and that they barely even looked human at all. His dad had never been wrong… and he would never lie. “But you look… normal.”

“Humans and exaggerations.” The stranger rolled his eyes, arching a brow at Wilbur. “Why do you cling to human beliefs? In the end they are inferior… and some are monsters themselves.”

“That’s not true.”

“What? Do you believe that all human misery stems from the existence of vampires?”

The stranger sighed, casting his gaze to the heavens. “Think. Aren’t we all monsters in our own ways?” He paused, catching Wilbur’s eye. “Vampires, humans… we all are monsters. A vampire who kills for the sake of killing and a father who abandons his son to die… both monsters, hm?”

He stayed silent for a long while, letting his heart finally crack under the truth. “I’m Wilbur.”

The stranger scoffed, a smile playing on his lips. “I’m George Lore. A pleasure to meet you.”

---

“He’s an actual angel.”

Wilbur watched his husband cradle the human boy that they had taken from a nearby village, the poor baby looked pale, his breath coming out in short huffs. George had wrapped an orange ribbon around their son’s neck, concealing the bite marks that would begin their son’s transformation. He had wanted to turn the boy himself, but George had intervened. Wilbur had only been a vampire for ten years, he wouldn’t have the self-control to simply bite and not feed.

“He bumped into me.” Wilbur chuckled, “I just knew he was perfect.”

‘It had been odd. His father had stated once before that vampires couldn’t walk underneath the sunlight, but that had been a terrible misconception, one that Eret and George had both laughed at. The idea had stemmed from - actually, they were an ancestor of Eret - a vampire who had had a very dramatic reaction to the sun after decades of being chained inside an underground vault.

Wilbur laughed mirthlessly. Another lie. Maybe vampire hunters were just full of shit.

He walked through the bustling streets of the city, his pace slow and relaxed. He’d gone with Eret to procure a few fruits from the village market, but while Eret’s back was turned, Wilbur snuck away to have a morning stroll around the wooden buildings and through the small alleyways.

Wilbur had slipped into an alleyway when a bright orange blur bumped right onto him. If he had been human, he would have continued on, slightly irritated but unaware of the crime that had just been committed. But he hadn’t been human for so long, and the world to him was a swirl of motion and color. Slow, the present quickly melting into the past. He gripped the hand that had snuck into his pocket, his vice-like grip nearly bruising as he pulled the orange blur to face him. A pained whine escaped the thief, small and so childlike that Wilbur had nearly let them go then and there. He kept his mercy at bay, eyes narrowed dangerously at the cretin who had dared to—

Wide brown eyes flecked with gold stared up at him in fear. The child had collapsed completely in Wilbur’s hold, practically hanging against the hand that was curled around his wrist. Wilbur adjusted his grasp, easing up so as not to hurt the poor child. But he’d been a bit too late. A river of tears cascaded down the child’s cheeks, small whimpers piercing through the quiet air.

“I’m sorry!” The child continued to cry, “Please don’t hurt me! I just… I was so hungry…”

“You were hungry?” The question only made them cry even louder. “Oh no, it’s alright. Shhhh.”

He kneeled so that he was at face-level with the child. “What’s your name, champ?”

“F-Fundy…” The boy sniffed, wiping his nose on the tattered sleeve of his black jacket. Wilbur took in the child’s clothes, the dirt that clung to pale skin… Wilbur didn’t need to ask to know. He gently let go of the child, careful to keep a hand on the child’s back so that he wouldn’t immediately try to run away. Fundy didn’t move, his bottom lip trembling. Wilbur continued to shush him, moving the child so that he was closer to him, enough for Wilbur to catch him in case he tried to run away. Fundy was hungry. Wilbur knew a thing or two about hunger. The boy was still staring at him. He made a quick decision. Wilbur smiled. He and George did want a kid…’

“He was hungry. I couldn’t just leave him, love.”

Wilbur approached George, his husband had placed Fundy back on the huge bed that seemed to swallow him. He was so small. He ran a hand through their son’s curly hair, catching George’s eye as his husband bit into his wrist. Newly made vampires needed their sire’s blood to survive.

“Well,” George placed his wrist above Fundy’s lips. “He won’t go hungry now that we’re here.”

---

Techno sharpened his dagger.

The glow of the fire illuminated the monster’s face, the dark blood that pooled against their pale skin a constant reminder that the person before him was nothing more than a bloodsucking leech upon humanity. He sheathed his dagger, a part of him eager to pierce through the vampire’s skin and tear out their heart. He couldn’t, not yet. They were bait for the Ancient. His actual target.

“He won’t come,” the vampire muttered. “Not for me. We aren’t kin… o-or are you—?”

“I’m here for Lore.” Techno huffed, “Not Brine.”

The beast raised their gaze, the warm fire somehow weaker against the light of their pure white eyes. It was the mark of the Brine Vampire Clan, powerful ancient vampires that once brought chaos upon the world. But to Techno, this particular vampire was more damning than any other vampire in existence. He knew their face, he knew their name. Wilbur had trusted them once, and look where that had gotten him. Mutilated somewhere, a decomposing corpse that would never find its way back home. “You haven’t killed me yet. I would have thought that you…”

“I wish I’d killed you those years ago.” He had been so close. A few inches off the heart. If only his aim hadn’t been so shaky back then, then maybe Wilbur would still be… “I wish I did.”

Tommy had hated him for being late. Their relationship had never recovered after that fateful night. If Techno hadn’t hesitated. If Techno hadn’t froze the moment he realized where the vampire had run off to. If Techno had run just a bit faster. By the time he reached their house, Tommy had collapsed by his and Wilbur’s bedroom door, skin so pale that Techno worried that the vampire had gotten him too. He’d taken one look at the empty bedroom, the white curtains billowing as the night air came from the open window, dark blood left to dry on the carpet. He’d known. He’d known back then. His twin was gone. Devoured by a beast that he’d failed to kill.

“Techno, I am sorry. I can’t help what I am. You injured me, I was injured, bleeding, and scared. My instincts took over. I never meant to hurt anyone. I never meant to hurt Wil.” His hand clenched against the hilt of his blade. He would not listen to such lies. Twenty years. Twenty years since the monster before him took away his twin brother. Twenty years of blaming himself for failing. Phil never blamed him, of course his dad would never blame him. But on bad days, Phil would confuse him for Wilbur finally come back to them. That’s why he’d dyed his hair.

“Senseless apologies do not bring the dead back to life. It does not mend the frayed relationships of a broken family. It does not erase the years of guilt and sorrow. It does not erase the hurt that you caused. You took away a life, and I should take away yours. Wilbur wouldn’t have wanted me to. He was our family’s poet, the one who could see the beauty of the world despite the monsters that lurked within it. I should kill you for the pain you’ve caused my family.” Techno’s hand trembled. The beast stared at him through the orange flame, a perplexed look crossing their face. Of course, they wouldn’t understand human grief. “I’ll have your head after I have Lore’s.”

He took a deep breath. If there had been any other vampire that could bait the Ancient, then Techno would have gladly used them instead. Being around this particular vampire brought forth emotions that he’d buried years ago. There was still a question that was poised at the tip of his tongue, an urge to ask what Eret had done to his twin’s corpse. Had they buried him? Or had they left Wilbur to rot until nature consumed every piece of his body? He wanted to know, but he feared that the vampire would mock him. So, he kept his question unasked. Ignorance was bliss.

---

“Techno.” He froze, hands poised over the silver-lined ropes that kept Eret’s hands tied behind their back. Wilbur had snuck closer into the empty camp, ears desperately trying to catch every little noise, but the fire had rendered his efforts useless. Techno had used the crackle of wood to disguise his footsteps, using it to sneak behind Wilbur, a familiar blade pressed to the side of his neck. The dagger wavered, but it stayed where it was. He took a chance to look behind him.

It was like looking at a mirror, except he didn’t have pink hair. “Wilbur…?”

A flicker of disbelief danced in those emotionless eyes, it surprised him. A part of him looked at his twin, and he could almost feel his old human heart beat inside his chest. He wanted to reach out, pull his brother into a tight embrace. Techno had grown up… and Wilbur knew he was the same age he was when he’d been turned. He was happy to see Techno again, but… the blade lowered from his neck. Yet Techno hesitated. Suddenly, all the bitterness and pain came surging back. Techno didn’t care for him. To his twin brother, he was nothing but another beast to slay.

He gripped the hilt of the dagger, twisting it away from his brother’s grasp before Techno could even fight back. His family had left him for dead. And now Techno was here to kill Eret and George, maybe he’d end up harming Fundy too. Wilbur can’t have that. He won’t lose his family.

Wilbur bared his fangs, “I’ll kill you. Take a single step, Technoblade, and I will tear you open.”

=============================================================

I didn’t mean to... but like, midway while I was writing this I suddenly decided “nah, don’t make the vampires so one-dimensional.” So yeah, a lot of misconceptions on the side of vampire hunters regarding vampires but some vampires still do kill people and most still see themselves as superior to humans. 

Also, yes. Eret is the vampire who took Wilbur because I wanted a bit of angst and I was like: “Hey, make Eret’s betrayal here be the fact that he and Wil are best friends but turns out Eret is a vampire.” Eret never meant to turn Wilbur, but it ended up happening anyway.

Now... about Fundy’s turning... I will leave that ambiguous. While he is in fact an orphan and lives in the streets, it was never mentioned here whether or not he agreed to being turned into a vampire.

Also also, I wasn’t gonna add Techno’s pov but like... “I Didn’t Say Goodbye” from The Mad Ones started playing and I was just: okay, Techno angst time.

I apologize for not adding Tommy but I didn’t know where to put him XD

So yeah, hope you guys liked this!

[robininthelabyrinth]

What if nmy, jgy and lxc can hear each other thought after they became brother?

ao3

1

Lan Xichen was dreaming.

He dreamt that he was walking along a road, dust on his feet, a small pack on his back, and bruises on his face from where he’d fallen; it felt as if everyone was looking at him, gawking at him, every one of them acting as though they knew everything about him just by looking at him and he hated them –

Do not succumb to rage, Lan Xichen thought, the familiar rule popping into his mind at once.

Rage isn’t the problem, some part of his mind thought back at him. The problem is – why do you care what they think? They’re always going to think something.

They were judging him. How dare they judge him? He’d made something of himself, made himself smart and tricky and capable, but no one cared about that, they judged him, they sneered at him –

Sneering for no reason is prohibited.

Oh for – he just said that they were sneering for a reason.

He did not! The whole point of what he said was that they were sneering because they were unfairly judging him, Lan Xichen argued, and was momentarily amused at himself for arguing with himself in a dream. He would have to write down this dream in the morning and see if he could explore whatever internal strife within him was the cause. And that they weren’t worthy of judging him.

I thought ‘Arrogance is forbidden’?

Are you quoting Lan sect rules at me?

Excuse you both, he was trying to think here!

I’d say brooding rather than thinking.

Lan Xichen agreed with that. It really was mostly brooding, brooding on all the wrongs that had been done to him and paranoia against the whole world. Brooding and walking, walking and brooding –

Like a chicken.

He was not like a chicken. What the fuck. Who the fuck compared lusting for revenge to chickens?

I’m just saying, if you’re going to be brooding, you may as well have some eggs –

Lan Xichen woke up laughing. He still wasn’t sure what the meaning of the dream was, but he did meander down to Caiyi town in order to have some eggs.

He passed it off as a craving.

2

Lan Xichen knew from the first sight of the jingshi how this dream would go.

He would be walking, slowly and gravely, knowing already what he would find: the sight of Wangji kneeling in front of his mother’s house. Only six years old, too young to understand, and yet faced with such terrible loss.

He would go up to him and take him by the shoulder, seeking to comfort him, and he would turn and that would be when Lan Xichen would see his face – dead eyes vacant, blood spilling from his mouth, thirty-three whip marks tearing his back apart and yet that did not seem to be the greatest blow…

The dream never changed.

And so Lan Xichen walked.

He walked, slowly and gravely, and he saw little Wangji, and he –

He’s like a little figurine!

Lan Xichen paused. It was true, of course; he’d had that thought a dozen times before when thinking of his younger brother in his youth. Just not usually in this dream.

One of the expensive ones, his bizarre train of thought continued, utterly nonsensical. The ones you can only get in the shops in the city, all pudgy-faced and red-cheeked with eyes half the size of their face. I always thought those were dreadfully unrealistic.

Perhaps a little.

They’re scary is what they are, another part of his brain thought. Can we get to the part of the dream with all the blood instead?

Seriously?

At least he’s an adult when that happens.

Fair enough.

Wait, hold up, go back, since when am I scared of dolls? I’m not scared of dolls.

Neither was Lan Xichen.

Not dolls. Creepy unliving mannikins in the shape of dolls that are almost but not quite human, that move in stuttering motion that is almost but not quite right, that smile and look at you when they shouldn’t be able to move...

Huh. Apparently I am scared of dolls, the first part of his mind thought, bemused, and Lan Xichen agreed. He’d never known about that particular phobia of his before before, but now that he thought about it, it sounded pretty awful.

He really hoped such dolls wasn’t going to be making in appearance in this dream. It was bad enough as it was.

He sighed, and lifted his foot to continue walking.

Couldn’t you just not go up to him?

What?

That’s a good point. If you already know you’re dreaming, there’s no point in just walking through it.

But…Lan Xichen always went. It’s his brother!

Maybe it’s a creepy doll. Can you really tell the difference?

Wangji was not a creepy doll. How did they get on the subject of creepy dolls, anyway?

No idea. But it’s definitely about as stupid as chickens when it comes to stupid dream thoughts.

Great. Now Lan Wangji – sitting there in all his Lan white – has transmogrified into a chicken, plump with white feathers.

Lan Xichen hoped his subconscious was happy now.

No, this is great actually. No killing livestock within the Cloud Recesses, right?

What?

If he’s a chicken, he’s immune from –

Lan Xichen woke up out of sheer frustration.

(Still better than the usual dream, he supposed.)

3

He was walking through a forest, big loping steps that ate up the ground almost like a run. There were so many things to do, and never enough time to do it in – everything was always a rush, and only the dead had time to sleep.

He was walking through a forest, and the moon was big and bright above his head, shining a dull red in the night sky, a killing moon that boded ill. He could feel the pressure of it on his shoulders like a weight, like an extra presence that never left him; it was both friend and foe, loved and hated, for it would show him the way and rob him of it at the same time.

He was walking through a forest, and he wondered to himself why his dreams recently always featured so much fucking walking.

Oh, no, now you’ve ruined the mood, some part of Lan Xichen’s brain complained, and it might actually be him, come to think of it. I was enjoying that. We were going so fast, it was almost like running.

It wasn’t anything like running.

How did you manage to stop the dream, anyway? Some other part of him thought, sounding almost wistful. You barely got five steps into it before you were making unwarranted comments.

Lucid dreaming.

Was it the moon that gave it away? I’ve never seen it hang so low or so threatening.

It’s not a moon, it’s a metaphor.

All dreams are metaphors, really, Lan Xichen protested, but he was snickering. But also, hold up, look up a second – is it just me, or doesn’t it feel like the moon looking at us?

The moon doesn’t have eyes, the smart voice said immediately. It doesn’t have eyes, so it can’t be – okay, never mind, the moon is definitely looking at us. Also, it’s angry about it.

That was because it wasn’t a moon. He really wasn’t sure what was so hard to grasp about this.

The moon is growling at us! That’s pretty hard to grasp!

If this dream is lucid, can it be changed? Lan Xichen asked, trying to force his dream self to move or dodge or something without success. The moon was getting larger in a threatening sort of way that suggested that it was coming closer. Rapidly. A change would be good right now, really –

I don’t want to be eaten by a moon! I don’t want to be eaten by a fucking moon!

Stop saying it’s a fucking moon already! It’s not a moon! It’s just Baxia!

Lan Xichen opened his eyes and sat ramrod-straight up in bed in a single movement.

“Oh, no,” he said.

4

They met in Qinghe, which had the virtue of being Nie Mingjue’s sole domain in a way Gusu wasn’t yet, for Lan Xichen, and which Lanling was likely never to be for Jin Guangyao.

“All right,” Jin Guangyao declared, stalking in through the doors looking more upset than Lan Xichen had ever seen him. “Which one of you was responsible for the chicken comment?!”

Nie Mingjue coughed.

“I knew it!”

“I wasted a great deal of time on dream analysis after that,” Lan Xichen said, because apparently they were going to be discussing this rather serious issue  affecting both himself and his two sworn brothers in the stupidest way possible and he was oddly all right with that. “I even consulted Uncle.”

Nie Mingjue coughed again, except this time it sounded less embarrassed and more like he was (badly) trying to hide laughter.

Even Jin Guangyao stopped scowling and started having to fight a smile. “Really?” he asked. “You told – about the chickens?”

“He thought it suggested a desire to settle down,” Lan Xichen confessed.

“The man wants grand-nephews,” Nie Mingjue said dryly. “You could dream of anything and he’d interpret it as wanting to settle down. Speaking of settling down, would you both like to do so? There’s calming tea.”

Qinghe had a very specific brand of tea they meant when they referred to ‘calming tea’, imported from the west and south for its reputed use in subduing even the most vicious temper, and it was most definitely not made of flowers. However, as mild intoxicants went, it didn’t have quite the same crippling effect on Lan Xichen as liquor, and he was happy to accept a cup.

“So,” Lan Xichen said after a while. “We’ve been sharing dreams.”

“It certainly appears that way,” Nie Mingjue agreed.

“How do we make it stop?” Jin Guangyao wanted to know.

“I don’t know how it started,” Lan Xichen said. “Much less how to make it stop. Unless this is familiar to either of you…?”

They both shook their heads.

“Could it have had something to do with the sworn brother ceremony?” Jin Guangyao suggested.

“Improbable,” Nie Mingjue said.

“There have been plenty of sworn brotherhoods throughout history,” Lan Xichen agreed. “Someone would have mentioned dream-sharing if it were a side effect, if only because it would be so useful.”

“Dream-sharing?” Nie Mingjue said, frowning. “That’s your problem?”

“It’s useful, but intrusive,” Jin Guangyao said. He was frowning, which he rarely did in public – or even in front of Nie Mingjue these days. The revelation had clearly shaken him deeply. “Dreams can’t be controlled. What if one of us started dreaming about, I don’t know, killing each other?”

“We would agree in advance not to take offense,” Lan Xichen assured him. “As you say, dreams cannot be controlled –”

“I don’t mind the dreams,” Nie Mingjue put in. “It’s hearing your thoughts that’s getting to me.”

They both turn to look at him.

“What?” he asked. “Oh, that hasn’t started for you two yet? Something to look forward to, because it’s a pain.”

5

They ultimately concluded that it was a curse.

A curse gone wrong, of course, but it had the markings of one, and after some research they were even able to narrow down to which one it must have been at the start.

“Why did it go so wrong?” Lan Xichen wondered, looking at the historical records they’d dug up in Qinghe’s library. “Whoever it was surely wasn’t planning on us having this sort of connection.”

“Baxia deflected it, I think,” Nie Mingjue said, and Jin Guangyao and Lan Xichen shared unnerved looks.

It was one thing to know that your sworn brother had a spiritual weapon to which his soul was tied and which he sometimes spoke of as if it were a person; it was yet another to feel that bond, the foreign energy that seeped into his skull at all times, to know that his lucid dreams were due to his persistent awareness of that extra being, to be able to sense the personality that was Baxia lingering on him like a ghost. Or a guai, more accurately.

“It must have happened during or very soon after we swore our oath,” Nie Mingjue continued, oblivious as always to their disquiet. “Our qi was in parallel at that time, binding us together, and she would have been able to spread the attack between us all.”

“The ultimate goal of something like this is to drive someone mad – specifically you, da-ge, since it seems to be hitting you first and hardest." Lan Xichen said, grimacing. And given the Nie sect’s infamous tendency towards qi deviations, they might have thought they could get away with it without anyone finding out…how utterly vile. “Whoever did it must have a great deal of hatred.”

“Or not a lot to lose,” Jin Guangyao said. His hands were gripped tightly behind his back, thumbs digging into his wrists. He seemed to be thinking the word vile, vile, vile on repeat – possibly he was agreeing? Lan Xichen couldn’t quite tell; the curse was affecting him a little more slowly than his two sworn brothers. “Desperate people do desperate things.”

Nie Mingjue looked up with a frown. “Meng Yao, what do –” he started to say, then frowned, having clearly been sidetracked. “You think it’s an insult when I call you that?”

Jin Guangyao, equally distracted, stared at him. “You mean it as a compliment?”

“I don’t exactly like your father,” Nie Mingjue pointed out, sounding a bit puzzled – which, in fairness, he had never been anything but extremely obvious about his disdain for Jin Guangshan. “Why would I think adding his name to yours is a good thing? I’d rather honor the side of your blood that gave you that brain, since it isn’t the Jin sect.”

Jin Guangyao looked flattered – or, no, he didn’t look anything, but Lan Xichen was getting that distinct impression from him nevertheless. It seemed he’d reached the sensing-feelings stage: Nie Mingjue felt a little embarrassed at the reaction, and they were both feeling warmer towards each other.

Maybe they should postpone curing this thing, Lan Xichen thought briefly. If it could help them repair –

“Absolutely not,” both of his sworn brothers said together.

“We’re fixing this at once,” Nie Mingjue insisted, glaring at Lan Xichen.

“Immediately,” Jin Guangyao agreed.

Lan Xichen made a gesture of surrender. “I already have some ideas on how to cure the problem,” he said. “I won’t drag my feet, I promise.”

“Good,” Jin Guangyao said. “I would kill to get rid of this.”

“Speaking of that,” Nie Mingjue said, and he looked like he was starting to get angry, “let’s go back to that discussion of desperate people and how you were thinking about how to kill me –”

6

Lan Xichen had always respected Nie Mingjue – as a man, as a leader, as a friend – but his respect had recently reached new heights when he realized exactly how much the man wanted to murder just about other every sect leader out there, and yet didn’t.

Baxia’s unstinting support for this idea didn’t exactly help.

Jin Guangyao – who Lan Xichen was discovering to be far more vicious than his pleasant smile might have suggested – found Nie Mingjue’s grudge-bearing pettiness to be absolutely hilarious.

What about that one? he asked gleefully. Do we want to kill him?

yesevilkilldestroy, Baxia murmured. doitnow.

Please do not murder Sect Leader Lu, Lan Xichen said. He didn’t think Nie Mingjue actually would, but he felt the need to put his views out there.

I don’t know, Nie Mingjue said thoughtfully. He tried to flirt with me once.

That’s not a crime –

I was ten.

killevildestroy

I’m with da-ge on this one, Jin Guangyao chimed in. Just murder them all. I can provide an alibi.

He could provide six, in fact, each one of them smoothly unrolling like crisp paper in their mutual mind-space – they’d figured out a way to get some privacy – and Nie Mingjue huffed a mental laugh even as Lan Xichen sighed.

It would just figure that his two sworn brothers liked each other much more now that they had access to each other’s secret vicious thoughts – thoughts Nie Mingjue would never act on, given his principles, to the point that Jin Guangyao had once doubted he even had them; thoughts that Jin Guangyao thought would disgust them both, but which Nie Mingjue seemed to rather enjoy as long as Jin Guangyao never took any steps to actually execute them.

What disasters they both were.

“No murder,” Lan Xichen said sternly, futilely trying to conceal the warmth of his affection for them both.

His uncle turned to frown at him. “Xichen?”

Lan Xichen realized he’d spoken aloud by accident and flushed. “Forgive me, Uncle. I was –”

Reciting Lan sect rules!

“– contemplating the obligation not to take lives unnecessarily,” Lan Xichen said, finishing the lie almost smoothly. He’d gotten much better at it ever since the curse began.

Somewhat worse at self-restraint, though, which was a problem because he was apparently the only one of them with a functioning moral compass – Nie Mingjue had principles, which were most emphatically not the same thing (the concept of unearned mercy seemed to puzzle him, as did sympathy for people forced by circumstance), and Jin Guangyao…

Well, he tried.

Sometimes.

Mostly he faked his way through it.

Which was about what Nie Mingjue apparently did most of the time, too, so…

Lan Qiren was giving Lan Xichen a doubtful look, but seemed to accept the explanation and returned to his own meditation. Which was Lan Xichen was supposed to be doing, but Nie Mingjue was dealing with some minor sect leaders in his district with accompanying commentary by Jin Guangyao (supposedly supervising something in Lanling but actually bored out of his mind), and it was just so much more interesting…

You can meditate later, Nie Mingjue thought at him. I appreciate your level-headedness – as do my advisors. I’ve been getting compliments on how well I’m keeping my temper.

Thank A-Yao for that, Lan Xichen said. He’s the sneaky one.

I am, Jin Guangyao said, utterly shameless. And da-ge’s the straightforward one who punched my father in the face.

They all had a collective moment of gleeful bliss at the memory.

Do not damage others, Lan Xichen finally reminded them, albeit reluctantly.

Do not keep company with evil, Nie Mingjue shot back.

Do not act impulsively!

Do not argue with your family, Jin Guangyao interjected. For it does not matter who wins.

…ouch.

He got you there, Nie Mingjue crowed. A-Yao – mark your words.

Yes, yes, Jin Guangyao grumbled. I acknowledge you both as my real family now; will you stop holding the attempted murder thing over my head?

No, never, since it was quite possibly the only way to squeeze any empathy out of his (charmingly) self-absorbed sworn brother.

Anyway, it turned out well in the end, didn’t it? Nie Mingjue added. He thought I hit him because it turned out that he’d instigated the curse to be set against us.

Only you would end up getting a confession out of punching someone, da-ge, Lan Xichen said, amused. It’s positively unfair to the rest of us.

Yeah, da-ge. Leave some luck for the rest of us.

You’re acting sect leader of Lanling in light of your father’s imprisonment, Nie Mingjue reminded Jin Guangyao. How much more luck do you need?

I got that through hard work, thank you.

killevilliesLIES

…I retract the statement and request that Baxia stop glaring at me. Please.

Nie Mingjue snickered.

Lan Xichen laughed.

“A-Huan,” his uncle said. “What on earth is so funny?”

Lying was forbidden, so Lan Xichen was just – not going to explain.

Ever.

[twinklelilstarkey]

Second one - Frederik Andersen

Words: 1.6k+

Type: Fluff

Summary: After a lot of trying for your first baby, your second pregnancy happens to come by surprise.

Warnings: Female!Reader. Dad!Freddie, a whole softie for his family. Unplanned (second) baby. Mentions of pregnancy symptoms.

It has been a little bit over a year since you had your son. You still remember how happy you felt when you discovered that you were pregnant. You and Freddie had been trying to have a kid for months, to the point that, quite honestly, you had started losing hope.

Truth be told, all your friends that are planned parents did say that whenever you stop worrying about the whole thing, it ends up happening. Which it is true, in your case. Yet it was still a surprise that made the two of you hysterical.

And now, you got a giggly redhead one year old running up and down the house with a miniature hockey stick in hand, which he uses to destroy the stuff on your hallway - that’s at his reach.

Freddie is absolutely obsessed with his son. But due to his job, he can’t be present all that much. So, he always tries to overcompensate for his lost time. And that means: doing absolutely everything that he asks him to, always holding him and cuddling with him, buying him all sorts of stuff. 

Just overall being a whole softy with his kid.

Whenever he’s in a roadie, you can tell he’s suffering a bit. He continuously tells you that he misses you when you call, as well as how he can’t even sleep sometimes because his brain has grown accustomed to how chaotic your house is - a joke he loves to say just to see/hear you scold him for it.

When he does come back, he does not leave your side. He always has his arms wrapped around you. Whenever he’s laying down, he has to have you on one side and the baby on the other, or over his chest. Even when he’s sleeping, he just has this kind of iron grip on you.

He has just become the biggest family man ever and you honestly can’t even complain about it.

You’ll never forget how when on a facetime call, which is almost everyday before he goes to sleep or into a game, he just has this soft look every time his eyes land on the baby boy crawling up your bed and laying beside you or over your chest. 

You just can always tell he misses you two but doesn’t really say it.

Freddie’s coming back today from a roadie that wasn’t all that long, just a week, but you can tell that he’ll make as big of an entrance in the house as any other roadie.

Now, here’s the more interesting part. 

You’ve been feeling weird lately. Every morning, your lack of appetite due to slight nausea has grown massively. You’re not one to have any breakfast in the morning ever since you were younger, because the idea of food never sounds all that well - kind of depending on the night, to be quite honest. But now, you can’t even drink coffee. Which is weird.

You also have been peeing a lot. But again, not that weird, you always assume that you probably just drank more water than normal.

And lastly, your sense of smell has been on its highest, making you sensitive to strong perfumes and colognes, and, specially, when changing a diaper.

You grew tired of those symptoms rather quickly, even though you felt more confused than anything. But everything seemed to start making sense when you got a notification on your phone this morning.

PERIOD LATE. 3 weeks

You swear that your eyes almost jumped out of their sockets right as you read it. 

You look over at your son, playing in the center of the living room, before you stand up and run full speed to your bathroom.

Could it be?

You leave the bathroom door slightly open, just so you can hear if anything goes wrong with the child you just ‘abandoned’, and practically dive into your cabinets to look for a pregnancy test. 

And God, the urge to go back in time and kiss the past-you is just too big. There’s two tests. Two!

After a big deep breath, you open the boxes and start doing what you got to do.

Destiny must be on your side because you didn’t have a toddler pushing the door open mid-peeing - something that happens too often for you to not find slightly weird.

After doing the two tests, you put the caps back on and flush the toilet. Reopening the bathroom door to hear if everything is normal back on the other side of the house.

Right as you’re washing your hands, you hear a very familiar voice down the hall.

“Oh, I missed you so much, my baby boy!”

Freddie’s home.

Your eyes widen again and you stare at yourself in the mirror for a bit. It will still take a few more minutes for the tests to be done, so, you can just act like no suspicion as happened in your mind until you’re sure.

“Where’s mama, uh?” You hear him ask.

Your breathing heavies as anxiety starts to intensify and your heart also begins to speed up. You hear Freddie’s footsteps down the hallway and you act on impulse, standing by the door and leaving it slightly closed so he can’t see what’s on the counter.

“Y/N?” You hear him call out.

“Bathroom!” You answer back.

You put your actress mode on and act as if you’re just walking out of the bathroom and soon Freddie appears on the bedroom door. Your son is being held against his chest as he grips onto his dad’s hoodie and lays his cheek over his shoulder.

“Hi!” He says with a sweet smile.

“Hi.” You say, mimicking his smile.

“You okay?” He asks while walking towards you and you nod, “You look a little... uneasy.”

How in the hell? Are you that bad of an actress?

“No, I’m okay. Just didn’t expect you to come home so early.”

He finally stands in front of you and leans down to give you a kiss. You smile at him brightly and he wraps his arm around your waist, making your son lift his head from his dad’s shoulder to look over at you.

Freddie lays kisses on your head, over your hair, continuously and you wrap one of your arms around him to welcome his tight hold.

“What have been up to today?” He asks against your forehead.

“Not much. Just watching over him and preparing stuff for lunch. Saturday things.” You tell him with a shrug and his beard tickles your skin as he smiles against your forehead.

“And work?” He asks.

“Like I told you throughout the week,” You start and he chuckles, “It hasn’t been too bad. Quite calm, actually.”

As you continue to exchange words and information that you already know about each other’s weeks due to Freddie’s infinite calls, something stops you mid sentence.

Your alarm (!).

It’s already been the few minutes. How in the heck?

“Give me just... one second.” You say to Freddie, holding up a finger at him.

Freddie gives you a confused look and lets you go back into the bathroom by unwrapping his arm off your waist. He then looks over at the toddler laying over his shoulder as if he could give him any answers, but no, just a babble.

Not very informative, but it’s the intention that counts.

You close the door, and almost trip over the carpet to get to the other side of the counter. Your hands are shaking already, yet they snatched the tests back perfectly.

Before your eyes could even focus on what’s in front of you, you hold the tests up close to your face.

Pregnant and Pregnant.

“You okay in there?” Freddie asks and you hold your breath.

“Uh- uh, yeah.”

You walk back to the door and hold the tests behind your back. He needs to know. And you are going to tell him about it right god damn now.

Freddie looks back at you as you reopen the door and he notices your hand behind your back.

“I have something to show you.” You whisper at him and he frowns.

“Okay...?” He says, “You’re not going to show me like a dirty diaper, right?”

You chuckle through your nerves at him and you shake your hand.

“Why would you think that?”

“I don’t know. You did that to me when he was younger. And surprises that come from a bathroom can’t be much different.”

He has a point.

“No. It’s not a diaper, babe.”

Freddie feels a little bit of relief run through him and his heart stops as he sees you bring your hand to your front and he notices the very recognizable blue and white stick.

“No way.” He says before snatching them from your hand.

You giggle at his reaction and he turns them around in his hands so quickly to the point where he almost lets them fall, almost unable to stare at the word in them. Your son lays his hands over his dad’s cheek as he notices his shock and you smile at him.

“You’re not kidding, right?” He asks and you shake your head. “Oh my God.”

Before you could register it, Freddie wraps his arm back around you and pulls you into a hug. You laugh at how quick he is and he starts littering kisses all over your shoulder, to your neck and cheeks, meanwhile tickling you with his beard.

“Oh, I love you so much.” He says when he leans his head back to look at you.

“So, you’re excited about it?” You ask teasingly.

“Of course, I am. Are you kidding me?” He asks and you smile at him, again. “We’re going to have another kid, baby!”

He lays a peck on your lips and you kiss him again when he pulls away.

Freddie looks down at the kid still holding him, obviously finding your excitement very confusing, and he smiles down at him.

“You’re going to be a big brother, buddy!” Freddie tells him while making him move up and down on his hip.

The toddler smiles at his dad and lets out a giggle before snuggling back into his chest. Freddie kisses his red hair and looks over at you.

“Thank you.” He tells you before pulling you into another kiss. “Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you...” He says by each kiss he lays on your face.

Hope this was good. This was kind of a random idea that came up randomly, so I really hope it doesn’t seem rushed or something like that.

[mistress-and-servant]

Just a Tear

“Go change,” she said to him, sternly.

She was sitting at her vanity, powdering her face when he walked in. She didn’t even turn around to say that, merely glanced at him through the mirror. Charlie was momentarily shocked, but then nodded to her and quickly made his way back to his room to put on his maid outfit. This was a common occurrence for him. Sometimes she’d demand to see him in his maid outfit, while other times she didn’t mind the butler one. But he would gladly change for her whenever she asked.

The maid outfit was slightly more revealing. The skirt portion didn’t even go past his mid thigh, and there was a cat head hole right where his chest was. It showed off a bit of his cleavage squishing out against it. The sleeves were tight right below his shoulders. It was a bit more difficult to move around in this outfit, but he’d never complain to his Mistress. He quickly made his way back to her door and knocked.

“Enter.”

He opened the door and shut it behind him as he walked in. He stood behind her, just like earlier. This time when she glanced up, she smiled and slowly turned around in her seat. There was a spark in her green eyes.

“That’s better. Now, Charlie, do me a favor and do not take that outfit off till you burst out of it.”

Charlie paused, and blinked a few times to catch up with what he heard. His maid outfit had started to show how much he’s grown, but even with how ill fitting it had become he wasn’t sure how long it would take for him to completely outgrow it.

“Do you expect me to even wear it while I sleep, Mistress?”

“Oh heavens of course not-“

He sighed in relief.

“- I expect you to do it today kitten.”

His eyes widen and a blush began to form on his chubby cheeks. She giggled.

“Oh stop. I know you can do it. I would suggest you sit around and just stuff your face till it happens, but I know how much you don’t like ignoring your duties.”

He nodded, he hated the idea of not doing anything at all. He was her butler after all. And if he did nothing at all, then how was he ever to keep his worth?

She continued, “ Yes, so since you need to be doing something, I suggest that as long as you are working, you are also eating.”

She got up from her seat and walked up to him. She placed her small hand on his tum and patted it. It gurgled, reminding him that he had yet to eat today. “I want to see you eating something all day, no matter what. I’ll make sure of that.”

｡◕‿◕｡｡◕‿◕｡｡◕‿◕｡｡◕‿◕｡｡◕‿◕｡｡◕‿◕｡｡◕‿◕｡｡◕‿◕｡｡◕‿◕｡

Breakfast was the easiest. She didn’t add anything to his simple meal of eggs, bacon, toast and a cup of whole milk. He was sure that she would add a pastry of some kind, but she just sat there with her own portion and smiled. After taking and cleaning their dishes, he got started on making a list of things that needed to be bought for the home. He would receive lists from the head chef and head housekeeper, and he would then in turn check the stock room and pantry to make sure everything was listed off.

It was in the stock room that he heard someone come into the room. He looked and saw his Mistress come in with a plate of cookies. When she got to him, she immediately shoved a cookie into his mouth. He had no choice but to eat it, and it was delicious. It was still warm, and it was crunchy on the outside but soft on the inside. The chocolate chips were gooey, coating his mouth as he chewed. As he finished it, a second one was pushed into his mouth. This went on as he continued to check the stock. Cookie after cookie would pass through his lips with no room in between them until finally there was none left. She smiled at him and finally left him alone again. It wasn’t till then that he noticed a slight bit more pressure in his tummy. He rubbed his belly and burped into his fist before continuing on with his work.

｡◕‿◕｡｡◕‿◕｡｡◕‿◕｡｡◕‿◕｡｡◕‿◕｡｡◕‿◕｡｡◕‿◕｡｡◕‿◕｡｡◕‿◕｡

This continued on throughout the morning. Treat after treat would make his way to him, and his Mistress would happily feed him as he worked. She fed him slices of cake, batches of brownies, plates of cookies, and other such desserts until it was finally time for lunch. He had just finished a plate of scones and was now slowly making his way to the kitchen. He was full, his belly now pushing against his maid outfit. He could have sworn that the fabric was slowly inching its way higher up his legs, showing more and more skin as it went. The end of his skirt was barely covering the top of his thighs, and soon would start showing the very bottom of his belly. Yet there wasn’t a tear yet, he was afraid that he wouldn’t burst out of the outfit and it would simply no longer cover his body.

He held his belly as he walked, trying to stop it from sloshing around and causing more discomfort. He hiccuped and burped softly as he got closer. But before he could enter, his Mistress came out and blocked him.

“Oh no no no. You are to sit at the dining room table. I will bring you your meal.”

He was about to protest, but she began to push him away. “Go on now. I know how hungry you must be,” she teased. He relented and made his way to the table. As he was slowly lowering himself onto the seat, he felt something give, and his belly expanded a little with the extra room. Upon inspection, he found that the bow to his apron had come undone, and now the flaps were loosely on his sides. It didn’t count, but it gave him hope that maybe he’d be able to stop soon.

He inspected his clothing further and found that, when sitting, his skirt barely covered his legs at all. The ends of the fabric were just shy of exposing his belly. He patted his tum, causing it to gurgle. He was so full already, but he knew his Mistress would not stop till he burst out of his clothes. He hiccuped, causing his belly to wobble, and he groaned. He hoped he'd be able to get up after lunch.

Half an hour passed before his Mistress entered the room. With the little time he was given as a break, he was starting to breath a little bit easier. His tummy was still full, of course, but he was finally relaxing, until he wasn’t. The Mistress brought in two plates with her. One with a bowl of creamy potato soup with bits of bacon in it, the other with a sub cut in half with cheese and tomato sauce oozing from the sides, a classic chicken parm sandwich. They both smelled amazing. Even with his full tummy he began to drool at the thought of eating them both. He rubbed at his belly, momentarily forgetting his fullness.

His Mistress sat the two meals down and motioned for him to eat, which he did with no hesitation. He began with the bowl of soup. It was warm and creamy. The bacon was salty, and as he lifted up his spoon he saw that there were globs of cheese and chunks of onion and carrots mixed in. He savored the flavors, and before he knew it the bowl was empty. He stifled a burp in his hand and began to rub his tummy. Not only did he feel how stretched his belly was, but also the fabric of his dress. He didn’t understand how it could still contain him after everything. He swore that he could hear creaking, he just wanted it to tear already. His belly gurgled and a burp slipped past his lips. He blushed as his Mistress pushed the next plate in front of him. Charlie picked up the sandwich and began to eat again.

Slowly he made his way through it. Bite after bite of cheesy, saucy chicken and bread slid down his throat and expanded his tight gut. He groaned as he felt his stomach grumble even more. He tried to push his belly out in hopes that the dress would finally give but it just held on. Even after the last bite joined the rest in his packed gut, not a single thread had given out. He let his head fall back and didn’t try to hide the burp he let out. He was just so tired from the heavy weight in his belly sitting on his lap, still covered by his maid outfit. He barely registered the hand slowly rubbing circles into his belly. His Mistress pushed a finger against his stomach and felt how tight he felt.

“I really thought for sure you’d rip through this by now.” She placed both hands on either side of his wide expanse and gave him a gentle squeeze that still made him groan at the discomfort. She stopped and continued with her rubbing circles. After a few minutes of caressing his stuffed midsection she got up and stood beside him, grabbing his right arm.

“Come, it probably isn’t too comfortable sitting like this. Let's get you to a more comfortable spot.”

He moaned at the thought of moving, but after a moment's hesitation he began to slide himself closer to the seat edge. He used one hand to grip the dining table, and the other to support his tum to prevent any unnecessary movements. Slowly but surely he got onto his two feet with the help of his Mistress, his belly wobbling as it was pulled down by gravity. The weight making him have to arch his back to give his belly more room. He hiccuped and groaned and clutched at his middle, his Mistress leading him towards her personal Reading Room. She led him towards the plush coach they’d both use to sit next to each other during lazy days. She made sure that he slowly and carefully sat on the cushions and then pushed him into a lying position. With laying on his side his belly was no longer pulling at his back, now being supported by the soft pillows. He was both more comfortable and still in pain by the sheer volume in his tummy. His Mistress sat down next to his head which then made him want to pull himself closer to her to put his head on her lap. He struggled a little before she granted mercy on him since all this began and shimmied closer for him to snuggle into her. She began to run her fingers through his hair.  With now being close to his Mistress, he began to purr softly and gently fell into a food coma, his tummy slowly digesting all the things he’d eaten .

The last thing he heard before slipping into darkness was, “Maybe when you wake up we can continue working on tearing this outfit.”

[simpsiren]

jaehyun x reader

description. With my mother forcing me into a relationship with the son of a rich man to open my gates of a promising future, I was successful in having Jung Jaehyun wrapped around my finger. But none of my feelings for him were real. I didn’t know how he found out, but when I came back from London after two years, he completely changed. And I didn’t know what he planned to do. But I knew one thing for sure. He’s torturing me for not having true feelings for him in the first place.

genre. angst!!!, fluff in the end i guess(?)

word count. 14.5k~

warnings. really just bunch of angst and play of feelings 

“You’re coming back tonight.” Jaehyun said for the hundredth time. And maybe more or less, I’ve lost track. I plopped myself onto the silk sheet bed and rolled over for my stomach to be pressed against the mattress. I placed my phone in front of me with Jaehyun being annoyingly up close to the screen like he always does whenever we video call. Though, I so hated doing this.

I forced a smile, trying my best to keep up with the good image of a loving girlfriend in front of him. “How many times do you have to say that, Jae?” I giggled, so desperately wanting to roll my eyes in disgust at how high pitch I sounded. Jaehyun looked away from the screen for a brief moment while humming, eventually adverting his gaze back to me with a cheeky smile. “Well I don’t know... Until you come back.” Jaehyun chuckled lowly and ran a hand through his hair. I breathed out a light laughter in response and sighed. “Babe I’m gonna walk around London one more time before I head to the airport. Can I call you later? Maybe before I depart.” I suggested, already wanting to throw my phone away for me to faint off to sleep.

Jaehyun hummed in agreement, his smile still as bright and happy from the time we started video calling two hours ago. “Have fun, alright? I’ll be waiting at the airport for you.” Jaehyun whispered, leaning in to give a quick peck to the camera and giggling after. I simply responded with a light smile and nodded before lazily waving goodbye and finally ended the call. I placed my phone screen down on the bed and turned over, my legs and hands spread out widely like a starfish. I never intended to the walk around London. I’ve done that for the past two years here. Sure this place was a breath of fresh air, being away from Jaehyun. But just when I hoped to explore another country, my mother decided it was a good time for me to reunite with my boyfriend.

I turned my head to the side, eyes making contact with the wide window that revealed the sunset with streaks of orange and pink casted in between the clouds, light from the bright sun lowering itself dawning into the room with a orange hue. I sighed. I didn’t want to go back to Korea. I would never do that if I wasn’t forced to. I didn’t want to see Jaehyun. I didn’t like how my mother forced me into this relationship with him just so he could provide me a bright future. I groaned and sat up, shaking my head from all the stress I’ve collected just from thinking about having Jaehyun’s arms around me.

I shivered in disgust and even gagged from the thought. I wrapped my arms around my chest, instantly widening my eyes as a idea popped into my mind. I quickly grabbed my phone from my side and searched my contacts, instantly clicking on the one person I could trust in the whole country. And practically the only friend I ever had here. “Taeyong! Cafe, thirty minutes. Emergency.” I didn’t give him time to respond nor time to explain. Though I heard him let out a confused hum on the other end, I ended the call and bounced out of bed, running for the showers to get ready.

I waited at the usual table, the one that was seemingly always vacant whenever Taeyong and I went to the café that we’d call it our own spot at this point. I had my head tilted down to look at my phone that was on the table, occasionally switching between social media apps and eventually ended up scrolling through Titkoks out of pure boredom while waiting. The bell above the entrance’s door sounded, making me shoot my head up so fast I could have possibly given myself whiplash.

As if the whole world had gone dark, Taeyong made his way through the door. All the sunlight seemed to be captured by his bright pink hair, keeping all of it for itself. And I had to admit, it felt as if only he could rock such a colour. He only came wearing a loose white tee and black jeans, but it accentuated his perfectly proportional and lean physique. It was the simplicity of his that had me staring throughout the time he spotted me and came walking over. “So what is such an emergency that we had to meet hm?” Taeyong questioned, already sitting opposite from me.

I blinked my eyes and shook my head in rapid small movements before clearing my throat. “You being a doctor could actually be of use right now.” I leaned in, arms crossed on the table with my shoulder naturally lifting itself up and I got close to Taeyong. A slight smirk unintentionally crept up my face, resulting in Taeyong giving off an utterly confused expression with his eyes narrowing down on me with his brows raising just a fraction and a tilted head. “Wait what? Are you injured or something? Is that why it’s an emergency?”

I groaned, proceeding to let my body fall back into the seat and slamming a pal to my forehead. I shook my head vigorously and ran a hand down my face. “Look. You know I’m going back to Korea soon. But the thing is, I don’t want to.” I quickly explained to Taeyong, hoping he’d catch on. Taeyong let out a soft “Ah” while nodding his head. “Is your mother forcing you to go back just to be with Jaehyun?” I downshifted my head as an answer. Taeyong glanced sideways, rubbing his jaw thoughtfully. “Then what? You want me to pretend you’re sick just so you don’t have to see him?” I bobbed my shoulders, the evil smirk making its way back to my lips.

Taeyong had his lips form a thin line, somewhat in a unsure and having second thoughts manner. He’d normally agree to whatever I asked him to do. But this clearly had him thinking twice. After awhile, Taeyong hissed in uncertainty and smacked his lips. It was now his turn to lean in, eyes so fixated on mine as if he was trying to hypnotise me. “I don’t even get why you don’t like him. He seemed nice through the phone, not to mention he is deliciously hot.” Taeyong commented, practically fawning over Jaehyun as he looked out in a way to picture Jaehyun in his mind. I snapped my fingers in front of him, resulting in Taeyong to chuckle in suspicion and shaking his head to clear slate of Jaehyun.

“How many times do I have to rant about him?! I practically do that 24/7, Taeyong!” I scolded him, a upsetting frown settling on my lips. And indeed it’s true. I’d always mention Jaehyun during our outings and meetups, that was due to the fact that Jaehyun would be blowing up my phone with texts and calls, which is why I always had to switch my phone off every time I went anywhere with Taeyong. But either way, I’d never pass up an opportunity to blow my head off in anger and annoyance when Taeyong unintentionally brought up Jaehyun. “Honestly I can’t do anything. You know your mother would come looking for you anyways.”

With a shrug Taeyong laid back into his seat, resting both arms on the armrests, a teasing smile cracking up. “You think I don’t know that? No matter how much I want to run, being here is the furthest yet I’m still trapped.” I complained with a whine of a little child. “I don’t like how my mother’s forcing me into this. I never liked Jaehyun. He disgusts me on levels I never knew existed. He’s just too clingy and...” I shivered just like how I did in my room to physically show my thoughts of Jaehyun. Taeyong sighed and shook his head. “Sucks to be you. But you still have to go back. You can call me whenever, you know that right?” Taeyong flashed a smile of reassurance, one that never failed to make my heart flutter ever so slightly and bring warmth to me in a matter of seconds.

I hummed and nodded. “I’ll miss you.” I whispered, looking at Taeyong straight in his eyes. He closed his eyes for a moment and when his eyelids fluttered back open, his eyes formed a thin line, showing that he was smiling so wide that his eyes could disappear. “I’ll be sending you to the airport, love. Miss me then. Taeyong stood up and leaned forward to pat my head with his hand. “See you later, okay?” Taeyong reassured me once again before he flashed his boba eyes to me one last time before turning around and making his way out of the café. As he walked past, he glanced at me through the window and downshifted his head in a silent greeting with me doing the same till he was completely out of view.

Later that day, it’s as if I blinked my eyes once and I’m already here at the airport with Taeyong. I kept wishing for this day to never come, wanting it to be further into the future so I’d have more time to spare here in London. But of course, everything had to come to an end, that includes my freedom. I had a slight frown on my face as I looked up to the board stating the flights, seeing the flight to Korea being the first at the top. I turned to Taeyong, instantly pulling him into a hug with my arms around his torso. “Thank you, for making my two years here an amazing one.” I said, words getting muffled as I snuggled my face deeper into his chest. Taeyong gently combed my hair through his fingers.

“Glad to know you’ll miss me. I’m unforgettable after all.” Taeyong teased, which only made us let out breathless chuckles. “Quit flattering yourself.” As if on cue, the announcement for my flight to Korea was made like a bell toll in my head. I looked up to Taeyong one last time, placing a friendly peck on his cheek before finally letting him go and walking away. I could feel that his eyes never left my back but I was too scared to look back, afraid that I’ll miss him more than I already was.

On the plane, I slept through most of the time. I didn’t even bother eating the food provided. Luckily for me, I had the my favourite seat of being right by the window. Though it was night and I could practically see nothing but my very own reflection, something about sitting at the window gave me a sense of calm and peace. Though I wasn’t feeling it right now as I tried to sleep off the fact that I’ll be seeing Jaehyun in an hour’s time.

The moment I landed in Korea, the first thing that caught my eye was Jaehyun, who was already standing right there, just for me. Don’t get him wrong he is attractive with his all back outfit and ashy grey hair that stood out the most. I just never saw him being my potential lover. I actually felt bad for him, as I walked up to him. But something about how he stood— with his arms crossed and a lazy posture— that had me somewhat worried. He seemed out of place, not the usual all rainbows and sunshine like I knew him to be. From a far distance, I could already tell something was off. And that sent a unnerving shiver throughout my body.

The closer I got, the more Jaehyun’s eyes were locked on mine, his gaze trapping mine in a matter of seconds. I finally stood in front of him, no words exchanged. We simply stared at each other. The air around us growing uncomfortably thick in the scariest ways possible. Deep in his eyes, there was something negative lodged in his pupils. His aura was hitting me like a huge wave of unknown feelings. I hated it. Something’s wrong, and I couldn’t figure out what. “Hey.” I finally said to break the silence, a smile forming on my lips in an attempt to look happy, even after whatever staring contest went down.

Jaehyun cleared his throat and straightened his back, me doing the same to rid the thoughts of him until later. “Hi.” He simply said. Funny, he would’ve talked a lot more like he did on the phone. Now that I’m here, I expected him to bombard me with whatever I missed out on his life. Seemingly enough, he’s silent. And it was giving me a vibe I deeply disliked. He bent down to grab hold of my suitcase beside me. It took me a split of a second to find his face so close next to mine, and his eyes gave a glance that could make me shudder if I didn’t stay still and held my breath to keep my composure under control. What even was that...?

That short motion of his had the impact of a meteor on me, but he was just fine. He stood up normally, his fingers wrapped around the suitcase handle, and he simply began walking, not another word said. I wanted to stand there and get my mind gears going, my calculative instinct begging to kick in just to know what’s with Jaehyun’s odd and out of place behaviour. But I knew it wouldn’t do me any good. I was tired from the flight and what I needed most was sleep, a whole day’s worth of it.

And so I quickly followed behind to catch up to Jaehyun, eventually ending up on his side. But with the long strides he made with his long legs, I fell behind a couple of times and I was getting irritated at how I needed to constantly catch up. “Slow down.” I muttered to him, swiping strands of hair that flew into my mouth away from my face and behind my ear. Jaehyun didn’t respond at all, keeping his head and eyes straight for the exit to the parking lot. The silence was unbearable and I knew it’ll only get worse when we enter the car.

Once we reached the parking lot, Jaehyun took his key out from his pocket, unlocking the doors. Without giving a glance or any form of eye contact whatsoever, he went straight for the trunk to put in my luggage. Jaehyun would always open the car door for me. But I knew all too well he wouldn’t be doing that now he had that attitude of his, so I opened it myself and entered the car, getting myself settled in. Jaehyun eventually came in as well. One thing I noticed while he got ready to start up the car was the fact that he tried to keep his actions as calm as possible. I could see the urge from his veins popping out of his forearms that there was a form of anger he was desperate to let out, but he was compressing it as much as possible.

Beford Jaehyun could turn the key to start the engine, I placed a hand on top of his, right where the keys are. “Jaehyun?” I called out in a whisper, my eyes trailed from his tensed hand to his face. He was clearly avoiding eye contact, looking away and out the window. “Baby...” I said again, this time lowering my voice much more. “Are you okay? Are you mad? What happened?” I felt like I was asking too many questions at once and I was scared that he would explode into rage. But he didn’t. Jaehyun instead flashed a smile. But I knew this smile. It was fake, forced. I knew him long enough to know his habits, obvious and not so obvious.

“Don’t give me that look. Why are you like this? I thought you’d be happy to see me.” I gave a frown, acting desperate while I tried to register his every move and expression change, down to the little fraction change of his features. He raised one brow up, and the side of his lip quirked up. I widened my eyes and my expression was slowly turning to a shocked and confused one when he scoffed. “No I was happy. But whatever. Everything’s fine.” Jaehyun gave out the forced smile again. But this time he did it so well, it could have covered whatever amused face he had on moments ago if I wasn’t observing.

“Reminder that my parents and yours wants us to have dinner with them tomorrow night. Get settled by then. And I’m picking you up at six.” Jaehyun’s voice was monotonous, so monotoned that it was creepy. He was giving out every information I needed to know, not giving me a chance to question him in a way to start a conversation. He was full out blocking up and giving me the silent treatment. I would have had an interrogation on him just to know what was going on in that pretty head of his. But I was nothing but tired and would fall asleep instantly on any bed.

Once the sunlight hit my face as we exited the underground parking lot, I instantly squinted my eyes closed on instinct, head tilted in wards and looking down. I relaxed my eyelids soon after. But before I drifted off to sleep, I opened my eyes just a few fractions, seeing Jaehyun having his hand on one thigh and the other on the steering wheel. He had his eyes on the road as if driving was all that mattered to him at that current point. I closed my eyes back fully and went to sleep.

It felt like hours had pass by the moment I fluttered my eyes open. Still half-asleep and in the motion of trying to fully waken my mind, I looked around to take in my surroundings. I squinted my eyes in the pure darkness to clear my vision even the slightest bit. I was in my apartment. But something felt off. I tilted my head down, my eyes meeting with my outfit from the airport now changed to merely a short silk black nightgown dress with thin lace straps. I touched the silk between my fingers and gasped to myself crawling backwards and having my back make contact with the headboard of the bed on impact. I winced and placed a hand to the small of my back, shaking my head.

I took a second look around my room. My luggage was at the door, my valuables were taken out of my purse and placed on my night stand. And the door was barely opened. I turned to my night stand, my hand having to slam it mindlessly to find my phone in the complete darkness. The light from my phone almost blinded me and I quickly adjusted it to lower the brightness. I then looked at the time on the lock screen. “Five?” It was 5:34AM. I grunted softly and moved my body to sit at the edge of the bed. I had my eyes at the opened door for awhile, suddenly realising that there was a sliver of light that shined in the space between the ever so slightly opened door.

I gathered my energy to rise myself out of bed and took small lazy steps to the door. I placed my free hand on the handle, that was cold to the touch and pulled it for the door to swing fully open. I was greeted with more light. This time, the light came from the living room, illuminating the hall in front of me a orange hue. I had to bend forward to strain my ears, but I could hear a faint audio coming from the living room. I glanced at my phone that was lazily wrapped between my fingers for a moment before adverting my attention back to the living room. I took long strides to get there with my head hung loose.

As the living room came to view, the orange light was now brighter as the source of it was the lamp beside the tv. And in front of the tv sat a shadowy figure that would take me no time to notice. Jaehyun was laying on the couch, his head on the side of the couch where he could see me the moment he noticed my presence. He had his phone close to phone face but before I could even process more, he already had his phone tilted away and down from himself and had made eye contact with me almost instantly. “You’re awake.” Jaehyun said in a low tone.

I hummed and ran a hand through my hair. I felt uncomfortable walking around wearing something this revealing. Especially in front of Jaehyun. I made an attempt to clear my throat to get his attention, which I now wondered why I did so since he already had his full attention of me, eyes scrutinising my every move. I stood in front of him, arms wrapped around my body as if I was exposed of my bare body. “D-Did you have to change me to this?” I specifically raised my tone slightly on the last word, downshifting my head to the dress before looking back at Jaehyun.

“It’s not the first time guys have seen you wearing that, I’m sure.” Jaehyun eyes were locked on mine, but it slowly began to trailed down my body. They were keen and focused on my dress, the way it cupped my curves elegantly and also the exposure it has made. I was thinking about how he kept staring too much that I didn’t fully digest what he just said, absentmindedly letting out a “What?” in question. To which he responded, without an answer at all. Instead, he added another sentence. “It’s not the first time i’ve changed your clothes either.” Jaehyun shot his eyes back to mine instantly at his word, a cunning smile appearing on his lips as he licked his lower lip. He jolted himself out of the couch, which got me to take a step back in response.

“My mother asked me to stay here till you wake. And now that you are, I’ll get going. Don’t forget about the dinner.” Jaehyun began grabbing his wallet and other necessities off the coffee table. And just before he could take a step to the door, I grabbed hold of his wrist. “Baby why are you like this?” He was doing it again. He was being straightforward. He was leaving no room for us to converse. The tension he gave off was high and obvious. Jaehyun smacked his lips and flatten them into a line. “I’m playing a guessing game with you, if you have yet to catch on. Think long and hard.” Jaehyun grumbled lowly under his breath, almost a whisper when he turned his head to me to answer.

Jaehyun jerked his wrist free of my hold and sauntered off, sliding his wallet into the back pocket of his jeans in one swift motion. He opened the door. And when I thought he wouldn’t even bother to look back, he stopped in his tracks with one foot out the door. He didn’t bother turning around completely, simply looking at me over his shoulder and saying, “Oh. And you can stop calling me baby. It disgusting to my ears.” I narrowed my eyes on his back as he disappeared. I still had them on the closed door, Jaehyun’s actions and words replaying in my head one more time which made my eyebrows furrow and creases to form on my forehead. “What did he mean by that?”

That question had been on my mind the whole day. While I unpacked, did my laundry, ate breakfast and lunch at home with ordering takeout. I lost count at how many times it kept resonating. Along with that, I kept thinking of whatever possible meanings his words could have. “Jaehyun couldn’t be acting like this without a reason. I know him. He doesn’t act carelessly.” I muttered to myself as I played my food around with my fork. I eventually grew frustrated and stuck my fork into the chicken breast with force and groaned, tilting my head back.

From the time I knew Jaehyun, despite me disliking him, I never failed to take note of his actions and behaviour like I do with everyone else around me. I was always calculative in that sense. I took time to mentally note their habits, attitude, know when are the times I should keep a distance or if they’re in need of comfort. But right now, I couldn’t tell any of that about Jaehyun. I recalled every single thing Jaehyun has said to me. I knew for a fact that he never did anything without reason.

“Everything had meaning. But what the fuck is it?” I grunted and placed my palms on my cheeks, leaning forward and resting my upper body against the table. The longer I thought and tried to form a map in my head, I realised that it had something to do with me, or something I did. And that’s the very thing. I didn’t know what. Time felt as if it flew by fast like the wind when I saw that I needed to start getting ready for the dinner. I quickly cleaned up my food and headed for my room, all while thinking about just how much time I wasted having to wrap my mind around Jaehyun.

I was on my couch, laying around while waiting for Jaehyun to come pick me up. However, as time went on and I began to realise he might me late, I tried to spam him with text messages, hoping he’ll receive them and reply immediately like he always did. He didn’t. I gazed my eyes to the clock on the wall and I began to panic. My heart began to pick up its pace as I realised that I was going to be late. And my parents had a thing for being punctual.

With no options left, I went to the Grab app to try and pick up a ride. Luckily I was able to get a ride. But I had to ride it with strangers. And that wasn’t the best thing ever. I felt uncomfortable in the sense that I was overdressed in a car with people wearing regular home clothes. The amount of times the woman beside kept staring at me was unbearable but I tried my best to keep my eyes to the window. The restaurant finally came to view and I quickly paid the driver and got out to get rid from the prying eyes from the passengers.

Of course the restaurant had to be a high class one. The outer was all nothing but gold with wide windows to show off what it had to offer inside. The bright sign above the door had never flickered once each time I came here and it’s no surprise that I still see the restaurant as new as it first opened. I could already see my parents and Jaehyun’s at a table near the inner corner of the restaurant. I squinted my eyes and tiptoed in an attempt to spot Jaehyun, but he was no where to be seen. I took in a deep breath and straighten my back and shoulders. And with confidence and not a single look of weariness, I stepped in.

“Mother.” I greeted once I arrived to the table. Mother offered a kind and sincere smile as I downshifted my head to greet the rest. My mind was still at where Jaehyun could be. “Where’s Jaehyun?” Father questioned me and I instantly came zinging back to reality. I shook my head to clear the slate of Jaehyun. “Um I’m not sure...” I trailed off, an unsure expression on my face but I quickly remove it to replace back my kind smile. Jaehyun’s parents were at my surroundings, as if trying to find Jaehyun. In the end they shrugged it off and I took an empty seat next to Jaehyun’s mother.

“How was London, dear?” She placed her utensils down and turned her head to me. I immediately adverted my gaze to her to reciprocate her attention. “It’s been amazing. It’s such a beautiful country.” I said with an amicable smile. Jaehyun’s mother was the only one who practically showed the most genuine love for me other than my parents. I favoured her more and I liked talking to her instead of seating there in silence. She and I chatted about my whereabouts in London and after awhile, my food came. Yet Jaehyun didn’t.

I was slicing at my steak with my head down when I suddenly spotted pointed black polished shoes right beside, a large shadow looming over me. Everyone turned their heads, including me in unison. Jaehyun was here, in a all black suit and tie. His hair was slicked back and he looked professional. That in itself made me swoon over his attractiveness. He didn’t bother to even take a glance to me, he simply had his attention to my parents. “Sorry for being this late. I had an urgent meeting and I had something private to take care off right after.” Jaehyun explained. I could tell he was panting from the way his chest went up and down in rapid motions, but thsy were so small it might have been invisible to the parents. Hus voice was able to cover his up well too.

Jaehyun took the only empty seat next to me and adjusted his blazer, moving himself closer to the table as his food came to be served. “Where the fuck were you?” I whispered in a hushed tone, leaning in to his neck. One thing was different, I noticed instantly. His scent was the first thing I noticed. But what came along with it was a strong scent of a woman’s perfume. And it would never be one of mine. Lines formed between my brows and I eased myself away from Jaehyun when I didn’t get answer. He wasted no time to dig into his food to avoid my questioning.

Some hours have passed and now it was mostly our parents talking about business and other nonsense I wouldn’t have a care in the world to hear. Jaehyun and I ate in silence for the longest time. And what made it worse was the fact that they’d try to pull us into the conversation once in awhile to get us to talk. We simply nod, flash a smile and went on to eating. The air between Jaehyun and I wasn’t to my liking. And Jaehyun looked relaxed and calm. Something about it was chilling and unsettling.

“Am I able to excuse Jaehyun and I? I need to have a private chat with him.” I finally let out after thinking it through my mind this entire time. I had to confront him one way or another. Better now than later. I pushed my chair back and rose up to my feet. I looked at the parents for their approval.Everyone nodded their heads. “Don’t worry dear. You two can go home. We’re leaving soon anyways.” Jaehyun’s mother informed, cracking an amicable smile to her lips which I greatly admired. I smiled back and bowed in respect before gripping Jaehyun’s wrist, shooting a glare to him and dragging him out.

Once we were out of sight from the restaurant, I let go of his wrist and folded my arms, raising an eyebrow high. “Why were you late to pick me up?! You know my parents hate me being late. I’m about to get an earful through the phone soon.” I ran a hand through my hair and let out a huff. Jaehyun was nothing but motionless. He stood with his legs rooted to the ground and he stared at me with folded arms as if none of what I said went into his ears. “Jung Jaehyun!” I quietly shouted, the anger that I tried to hold in now seemed to be bubbling.

“I had somewhere to be.” Jaehyun said in a way where he thought it was obvious. Technically it was. I knew it from the get-go. “Okay where?” I specified further, shifting my weight from one leg to the other. Jaehyun took one step closer, that step was enough for him to be so close our bodies were barely touching. I had to look up at him, my eyes now filled with fury. What angered me more was his calmness. “I’m pretty sure I don’t have to say it out loud.” This whisper was low and his breath lightly brushed against my neck. I would have melted but I tried to keep my stern posture. “Ah. But you wouldn’t feel anything even if I did, right?” His question had me clueless. I was asking more in my head and I stared him with a calculating gaze.

Jaehyun must have noticed the gears turning in my head. And with a smirk as if wanting to plot a plan to ruin me whole, he takes a step back and left a gap of thick air between us. My lungs were clenched and no air would enter. “You’re fun, really.” Jaehyun slides his hands into the pockets of his dress pants with one swift motion, glancing down to his shoes with a strand of hair falling on his forehead that he chose to ignore. “Shall I take you home now?” Jaehyun grinned widely, as if whatever happened left no trace in his memory. I thought long and hard, but in the midst of all the anger and rage, I scoffed loudly and shook my head, showing attitude. “No.”

Jaehyun copies my expression, this time it was sarcastic amusement. “You’d rather take the train home? Never seen you do that in a long time.” Jaehyun breathed out. He was right. Ever since I dated him, he’d always offer a ride in his expensive cars. I never had to ride public transport ever again. I thought about it again, how I’d stand out in a crowd of regular people in an outfit this divine. “You showed attitude and now you want to offer me a ride? What sick game are you on?!” I pinched the bridge of my nose and shut my eyes. I couldn’t handle it. He’s been acting arrogant and had been nothing but rude ever since I landed here. He was making me run around like a blind mouse trying to find the reason for his sudden personality change.

“That’s the thing. If you want to know, you have to play the game.” Jaehyun slid out his car keys from his pocket and threw it in the air only to have it catch in his palm with much skill and fast paced motion. He let out a sly smirk in the process and turned on his heel and walked to his car. I swear I could see him bouncing on his heels ever so slightly as if he’d succeeded in playing me. And the sad truth was, he did. He had my mind messed up and I haven’t even been here for long.

I had just finished my lessons for the day at my University. I was able to catch up quick in the past few days. But although I had my mind now set on my studies, there were moments when I’d spend even the faintest of times on Jaehyun. I didn’t get into contact with him after that day. And I felt like that was the best of it. I never liked him. So why should I bother? We’d only have to act like a couple in front of our parents. So whatever he does shouldn’t be of any business to me, right?

I was on the phone with Taeyong. My one and only listening ear. I wondered if there was even a time he had never not been able to answer my calls. “Do you see what I’m saying now?! It was just so-” I balled a fist with my hand that was below the stack of books I was carrying. I groaned silently to keep my composure as I walked through the hall and out of the entrance. With people walking by, I wouldn’t want to make a fool of myself by acting like a total maniac. “He said to play the game. Then don’t play it. Don’t do what he wants you to do.” Taeyong suggested freely. I rolled my eyes and shook my head. “Easy for you to say. I actually want to know what he’s been up to.”

I could hear Taeyong whining over the phone like a child, a loud groan piercing my ears as he huffs into the speaker. “Then be some undercover agent and find out! Act like you aren’t when you actually are!” Taeyong shouted and I swear if I was able to slap him through the phone to quieten down, I would. “Wait why do you even care? Thought you hated to this guy to the bones. Isn’t it good now that he hates you too? It’s not like he’s bothering you by being the perfect sweetheart you despise.” Taeyong’s words resonated in my mind. He’s right.

“There’s nothing wrong in being curious, okay?” I retorted to bounce back quick from the long pause of silence. I could almost feel Taeyong shrugging when I heard shifts through the speaker. “I have to go now. Call you soon? And do what I say. I want to know what Jaehyun does!” Taeyong giggled like a tease, making me huff loudly. “I swear you’re cutely annoying and I hate it.” I breathed out a chuckle. Taeyong said his last goodbye and ended the call. And the moment I looked up, something caught my eye.

I instantly ran into the shadows of the hallways to hide myself. I slowly but surely crept my head out to take a peek. I didn’t need to squint my eyes for confirmation. It was as clear as day. And he wasn’t even trying to hide it. “Who the fuck is she?” I muttered, my mouth gaping ever so slightly at the sight. Jaehyun had his body close to a girl, and needless to say she had her hands all over him. I exhaled sharply. After a moment of confusion, my feelings quickly flickered from being surprised to pure amusement and annoyance.

I kept my eyes on them, fixated and direct. I couldn’t tell how Jaehyun was reacting to be very honest. There was something to him. Like he was being stoic and I wasn’t able to recognise any emotions through his actions or facial expressions. He was standing there like stone with his hands in his pockets, sometimes offering a smile for a brief moment but quickly changing his expression to a stoned and cold one. But the more I stared, the more I had this feeling in my chest. A feeling I thought I’d never feel towards this man.

I breathed a sigh and slapped a palm to my forehead, shaking my head slowly. “Why are you even feeling this way?” I scolded myself quietly. I swallowed and stood up straight from my peering posture, face fierce and on front. After throwing those thoughts out of my head, I turned around and walked away. I had to get out of there before those thoughts swallow me whole. But that attempt didn’t work. The moment I went home, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. How whoever that girl was had her hand brushing against Jaehyun’s arms. The way Jaehyun stood there as if nothing she did had any affect on him. I had to say, that was attractive on some level.

I slammed my pen down on the table and frowned deeply, pressing my palms against my cheeks as I leaned forward on my study table. I stared down long and hard, seeing my papers of assignments scattered and in disarray. I wasn’t able to get anything done properly with Jaehyun blocking my way of thinking. It was driving me insane at how he could possibly keep me up for hours on end if I don’t stop this. I groaned and pulled the hood of my hoodie over my head, rubbing my eyes. I took my phone from the top right hand corner of my table and headed to Twitter, the only place I could let out my steam.

I had already posted the tweets. The tweets where I talked about how stressed I was about Jaehyun. I didn’t even bother to censor his name I was that angry. I hated how he was causing my head to spin, making me feels things I never thought I’d feel. But it was only when I read over my bursts of anger that I realised Jaehyun could have seen them. He does follow me on Twitter. I widened my eyes and threw my phone out of my hands, letting it land hard on the table. “Shit.” I muttered under my breath. My chest was going up and down as my breathing quickened its pace. I picked up my phone and in frantic motions, tried to get into Twitter to delete them. But just when I turned on my phone, the doorbell rang. And I shivered in shock.

I shot my head to my room door, as if I got a sight of the front door. I placed my phone down on the table, trying to get my breathing back to normal as I made my way for the door. Thinking it could just be a delivery man, I didn’t bother to check through the peephole and simply opened the door. I could’ve jumped out of my skin at the sight if I wasn’t trying to keep my composure. “Saw your tweets. You seem pissed.” Jaehyun breathed out, raising both brows and bringing his phone up beside his face, showing me the thread tweets I posted before shoving his phone back into his pocket. “Why are you here?” A lot of questions were running through my mind at that very moment, but the only thing I could let out was the obvious.

“Want ice cream?” Jaehyun’s question had me stunned to the point where I wanted to reply with anger but instead had my voice left my throat. My mouth was moving yet no words seemed to be coming out. “W-What?” I asked, still utterly confused. Jaehyun exhaled sharply and glanced down before meeting my eyes again, this time he was looking at me different. His eyes were soft and gentle. It looked genuine. And I was genuinely surprised. “Your tweets are telling me you are stressed and you seem to be in need of ice cream.” Jaehyun tilted his head just a fraction. “It’s late and last minute but-”

“Sure.” I didn’t even know how I was able to let out that word. It’s as if I had no control of what to say and it simply fell through my lips. But hey, free ice cream was certainly what I needed. That was one of the few reasons why hanging out with Jaehyun was even the slightest bit bearable. As long as I had free food and had no worries, it wasn’t actually the worst thing life could offer. We went to our the ice cream shop. It was late at night and we were sitting on the road pavement. The stars were shining bright and the moon was shining brighter with its light radiating down on us. The cool breeze that swept by softly made the air between us unexpectedly lighter.

The silence wasn’t terrible either. It took us no exchange of words for us to have a calming night. Needless to say I needed this breath of fresh air. “I saw you.” I finally let out out after looking up to admire the ink black night sky for so long. “I know. I planned for you to see it.” I slammed my now empty cup of ice cream on the road in between my feet, shooting my head to him so fast I almost gave myself whiplash. “You fucking planned that? And for what?! The fuck’s been going on with you lately? Why are like this? This is why I’ve been-”

Jaehyun leaned in, so close that I could feel his breath on the skin of my face. And for some reason, there was a brief spark of electricity that was begging to have him go closer. “Be honest. Do you like me?” I blinked my eyes rapidly. Why would he be asking that out of the blue? We sat there in silence for the longest time. I didn’t know what to feel, nor what to say. My mind just went blank for a moment. Jaehyun raised his eyebrows and I forgot the fact that I needed to answer him. I guess my expressionless face had him thinking I didn’t hear him the first time. “Um...” I trailed off, not having an exact answer.

“If you don’t like me, say so. If you do and don’t mind my presence, say so.” Jaehyun’s voice was low and monotonous. I felt my breath abandon ship like its saying “Good luck to you, you’re on your own.” I had to look him in the eye— something that made me even more uncomfortable than this conversation. “It’s confusing.” I began, not knowing where to start and how to string my messed up feelings into words. I swallowed a huge lump to get my throat to clear, but I already knew I’d be slurring through my words. His face was still close to mine and it really had my breath hitched for the longest time.

“I don’t know, okay? It’s not that I don’t like you. I just don’t like how my parents are forcing me to marry you. I mean don’t you hate it? You know we don’t see each other that way. And to be honest, I have no control on who you hang out with anyways so I don’t even know why I feel-” Jaehyun’s chuckle caused me to stop my rambling. I had my eyes wide opened at his reaction I didn’t see coming at all. I was again at a loss of words. “Where are you getting at?” Jaehyun questioned me. I couldn’t keep my eyes on him, and so my gaze slowly trailed down to his face, unintentionally stopping at his pink, smooth lips. That wasn’t helping my fast beating heart at all.

“Who said I hate it? And who said we don’t see each other that way?” Jaehyun’s questions were left hanging in the air for some time. I could feel his eyes on me, observing every inch if my face while I simply had my eyes stared down on his neck and collarbones that were peaking out of his shirt. “Wait you...” I was left speechless yet again. But Jaehyun didn’t bother and proceeded talking. “You’re getting late at knowing what I’m trying to do. Which is a shame since I wanted to make this fun but now it’s annoying.” Jaehyun licked his lips and smacked them against each other, the pop sound that came out of it sent a shiver down my spine and my eyes never left his lips for the whole second of that action.

Jaehyun exhaled as a smirk rose up his lips. “I’m making you regret that you don’t like me the way I liked you.” My eyes went up to him quick as the words took no times to sunk itself into my mind. The realisation hit me but it put my frozen in my spot. Well he had me stuck since the very start, but now it felt as if I wasn’t able to move an inch. “I know you never liked me. And it grew annoying that our relationship’s entirely staged. I liked you once, but never again.” Jaehyun smiled with the intention of wanting it to hurt right at the perfect spot of my heart where it’d have the most effect. And his arrow of words didn’t miss even a spot away.

“How can you not believe me?!” I shouted to my iPad that was propped on my kitchen counter. I took out two slices of bread with frustration and shoved them into the toaster, pushing them in and closing the lid for it to begin toasting. I huffed and turned my head to the iPad, seeing Taeyong sitting on his gaming chair and happily dancing to songs as if I wasn’t even there.

“Because you hate Jaehyun and I refuse to believe he’s that bad.” Taeyong replied casually with a shrug, glancing down to adjust his pyjamas before going back to his computer. My mouth gaped open so wide my jaw could’ve reached the floor. “What?! Excuse me but Jaehyun just turned into a demon and he’s out to get me. He’s torturing me, Tae!” I wanted to simply drop and let my soul leave my body. But just when my legs gave in, the toaster sounded and I had to take out the bread.

“Torturing because he’s making you regret that you didn’t have feelings for him in the first place?” Taeyong questioned, I didn’t answer. Taeyong laughed for moment and sighed out loudly. “Well hope you’re starting to regret because he really is a catch.” I shot my head from the fridge and to him at his words, taking out the butter and slamming the refrigerator door shut. “I don’t know how but Jaehyun became ten times hotter and it’s driving me insane.” I grumbled, forcing the lid of the butter open and beginning to spread some on the toasted bread.

“Not surprised.” Taeyong clicked his tongue and chuckled. I rolled my eyes and narrowed my eyes down on Taeyong, which made him jerk back at the sight. I guess I looked scary. “You aren’t helping.” I growled like a dog that was about to attack. Taeyong shot his hands up in defence. “I don’t know, okay? You just need to do something. If you don’t, he’s going to keep playing you around like a toy.” I stood there in silence. He was stating the obvious. But hearing it out loud, it affected me in a way I couldn’t describe. “Yeah whatever. I’ll think of something. Text you later.”

“Aight.” Taeyong ended the call. I lifted up my toasted bread very slowly, deeply in thought. As I took the first bite, it was as if a light bulb that hovered over my head switched itself on. An idea popped into my mind. I grabbed my phone and pressed Jaehyun’s contact to call him. Long beeps pass. And finally after the fifth one, he picked up. “What do you want?” Jaehyun’s voice wasn’t welcoming, but didn’t sound bad either. “I want new books. Can you pick me up and we can go book shopping?” I tried my best to sound lively to bounce back from his dark and low tone. There was no answer, merely his breathing. It felt as if I was waiting forever till he breathed in and finally said, “Okay. Thirty minutes.” I smiled softly and ended the call.

“What’s with the sudden book shopping?” Jaehyun asked as we walked into the bookstore. Eyes settled on us instantly, but it was more to Jaehyun. I clicked my tongue and slid my arm to wrap around his smoothly, swiping all my hair to fall on my right shoulder and revealing my collarbones. “What’s wrong with it? You know I love reading. And I need new books.” I tilted my head up and flashed a smile to his expressionless face. Jaehyun’s eyes scanned the place. He knew he was being watched by the eyes of public. All attention was on him. It’s something normal to him anyways with a face like his.

Jaehyun hummed as I dragged him to the fiction fantasy section of the bookstore. My eyes lit up with joy as I saw the spines of all the books on the rows of bookshelves that went on. My arm let go of Jaehyun’s, but I intentionally held his hand and interlocked my fingers with his, pulling him to stand beside me in front of one of the bookshelves. “Should I try to make you read too?” I asked after I glazed my eyes over the books for a long while. Not getting an answer, I looked down to Jaehyun, seeing that he had his gaze down. I trailed my eyes along his line of vision, realising that he was staring at our interlocked hands. I smirked and called out to him, to which he responded with a quick snap of his neck to look at me. “What?”

“Do you want to try reading with me?” I rephrased my question to make it sound more personal. To make things better, I leaned in to lower my voice to a whisper. Jaehyun’s reaction was unrecognisable. I couldn’t tell what was going through his mind, whether he noticed my attempts at getting him to like me, or that he simply had to affect to them. “We read together?” Jaehyun asked back, somewhat with a tone of needed confirmation to what his ears have heard. I pursed my lips for a moment, quickly changing it to a bright smile and nodding my head. Jaehyun kept silent for awhile as I impatiently waited for his answer. “Okay.”

I reached my hand out to the bookshelf, hovering my fingers over the spines of the books as I slowly walked down the aisle. I could feel Jaehyun’s presence behind me, but I could hear him keeping a distance with his footsteps being far away from mine. It’s as if his eyes were observing me, down to my every detailed movements. His eyes were drilling deep into my back but I ignored it. Once I found a book that seemed to have an interesting title, I placed my hand firmly on it. But I soon realised I was on my tippy toes. Looking up to the book, it was only then did I notice that the book was placed so high up on the bookshelf.

I stood back normally from my reaching posture and turned to Jaehyun. He simply had his arms folded and eyes darting to me like it was nothing. But it felt like I was being exposed just from his stare alone. “Don’t you see I need help here?” I asked, copying his posture with a tilted head and a raised brow. Jaehyun stared at me, but flickered his eyes to the book I wanted and back to me again, a laugh escaping his lips. “Shortie.” I frowned deeply. It’s not the first time I’ve heard that comment. But something about the way the word rolled smoothly on his tongue and left his lips. It gave off a different feel. One that got the hairs on the back of my neck to stand up like soldiers.

It was only made worse however when Jaehyun took a step closer. So close that I stumbled back out of shock and hit my back against the bookshelf. I sucked in my lips as I felt my lungs clenching. My eyes didn’t move. In fact, in that one brief moment, my whole body was frozen, and it felt like it’ll stay that way forever. His height in comparison to mine caused his neck to be right on my face, his chest just slightly lower. And the thoughts of his body suddenly became appealing. I wanted to slap myself in the face for even thinking of such things, but how could I not when I could smell his perfectly scented perfume right under my nose?

I gulped, wondering just how long I had to stay in my tensed up position. I didn’t want to look at him, but my eyes were slowly trailing from his neck up, till I saw his face. I widened my eyes. Jaehyun was looking right down at me. He already had a grip on the book, but he wasn’t pulling it out of the bookshelf. And I don’t think he intended to do so for long as the smirk from his sly action slowly appeared on his lips. I exhaled sharply and mentally shook my head, proceeding to gaze up at him and intending to hold the eye contact. I furrowed my eyebrows in an attempt to seem annoyed. “Aren’t you going to bring down the book or will you stay there till your body gets sore?” My words were added with a hint of having the desire to fight back.

Jaehyun quirked an eyebrow up in a questioning manner, his lips forming an ‘O’ while his eyes were filled with surprise and perhaps even admiration? “Oh really now?” I could feel Jaehyun’s breath on my skin as he spoke. His face was inches away from mine that one movement from either of us could land with our lips touching. I cleared my throat and rolled my eyes, attempting to reach my hand out past his face to grab the book. However, due to his advantage of having way quicker reflexes than me, he grabbed a proper hold on the book and brought it down. He stood in front of me, confidence and arrogance being radiated off him. I really had the urge to punch that cheeky smile off his face.

While I envisioned myself letting my anger out on Jaehyun, I didn’t notice that he actually bothered to read through the back synopsis of the book. “Seems interesting. You picked a good one.” I blinked my eyes rapidly once his voice registered into my mind and I came back to reality. I turned my head to the side, realising I still had my body stuck to the bookshelf. Jaehyun chuckled and I shot my head back to him. I’m feeling my cheeks burning and I knew it was glowing a bright shade of pink. I really wished he would never see me in such a state. “Let’s go. I’ll pay for it.”

Jaehyun swirled around on his heels and sauntered down the aisle. As his back grew smaller and smaller, I couldn’t help but have that scene replayed in my mind. And with each time it resonated, my heart seemed to speed up its pace and Jaehyun was running in never ending circles in my memory.

I was on my bed tonight. I decided that today would be one of the very rare days I would allow my brain to rest from all the work I had to complete for Uni. I’ve spent the night watching Netflix and took a nap. I missed days like these, when I could simply shut my brain off and do whatever. I’m treasuring every second of it. But the thing that keeps obstructing me from doing so with utmost happiness was Jaehyun.

Just when I was at the kitchen to cook up some popcorn for myself, planning to watch a movie, I got a call from the one person I didn’t want to think about. “Why’re you calling out of the blue?” I questioned, a hint of annoyance shining through my tone. I could hear Jaehyun laugh in response and my face scrunched up at his voice. “You sound annoyingly cute.” Jaehyun teased, letting out a breath at the end that for some reason caused goosebumps to appear on my arms. “You didn’t answer me.” I grumbled, fidgeting with the popcorn packet I was just about to open with my free hand.

Jaehyun hummed, a cheerful one as if he wasn’t interrupting my valuable time. “I’ll send you an address. Come by at five evening?” I didn’t know what to think about his suggestion. It was so sudden, and skeptical. “Will I be in danger at the address you’re about to send?” I smiled to myself when I heard Jaehyun laughing out loud. I gaped my mouth and hovered my free hand over my mouth, shocked that even his laughter was having an effect on me. “What’s he doing to me?” I mentally questioned myself. But Jaehyun was quick to butt in and answer my previous question. “No it won’t. I’d never put you in danger anyways.”

Jaehyun’s sweet words which I couldn’t decide if they were whispers of nothingness or not, rang through my ears. Why did it feel like I was being put under a spell? His spell, that’s making me attract to him a whole lot more. But I knew that’s what he wanted. He wanted me to fall for him as a way to get back at me since I never had feelings for him. Our relationship was like playing with fire.

Despite all that back thinking and careful calculations, my mouth was still able to mutter the words, “Alright, see you there.” I ended the call quickly and slammed my phone down on the kitchen counter, groaning to myself as I balled fists into my hair. “How are you so dumb!” I whined loudly, practically having a mental breakdown right then and there as I caught myself falling into Jaehyun’s plan. I rolled my eyes and shook my head that was hung low. I covered my eyes with my fingers and took in a deep breath. “Whatever.” I finally said to myself, looking at the time and heading out of the kitchen to my room.

I looked at myself in my full length mirror one last time. I have yet to see the address he sent so I decided fo wear something casual, a simple oversized sweater and wide legged jeans. I grabbed my purse with all my necessities. I slide my phone off my desk and went to look at the address Jaehyun sent. I squinted my eyes. It’s not a restaurant, or a hangout spot. I would’ve expect anything else but a childcare. “Why would he want me to go there?” I asked myself in a low whisper under my breath. I sighed and shrugged, looking up from my phone and going out.

On my way there, I couldn’t stop thinking about the countless reasons why Jaehyun would ask for my presence at such a place. I searched it up. It was a childcare. Of all places, a childcare? It was a place I’d never expected to be headed, especially on Jaehyun’s request. My calculative mind wasn’t able to come up with a possible reason and it frustrated me to the core. But in the end I gave up, not wanting to waste my mental energy trying to find out a reason I’d soon get to know once I met Jaehyun.

I arrived at the childcare. And the moment I entered, I could already hear the happiest screams and laughter of the children in each room. The receptionist seemed busy as I slowly walked up to the counter and tapped my knuckles against the hard wood. “Um excuse me? Where can I find Jaehyun?” I asked, unintentionally letting my uncertainty surface through the opened cracks of my words. The woman looked up from her computer at the instant of my voice and flashed an amicable smile. “Oh he should be done with his class soon. You want wait for him in the staff room.” She gestured her hand out to the door just behind me. I gaped my mouth open and breathed out, turning back to her and reciprocating her smile before downshifting my head and heading into the staff room.

There wasn’t a lot of people there. There weren’t a lot of office cubicles either. I already knew at first glance that this childcare seemed to be a private one. I guess the working staff would be limited. Although I thought I’d feel uncomfortable at the awkwardness I’d meet when I step in, it was quickly eased when I realised that none of the teachers took notice of me at all and were simply minding their own business. I kept my presence as low key as possible by taking light and brief steps to the sitting area on the other end corner of the room. I sat down on the couch and didn’t take long to sink my body into it. If people weren’t going to notice me, I might as well make myself comfortable. I assumed they wouldn’t be able to see me due to their cubicles unless they stood up so I didn’t bother looking too professional.

I took out my phone from purse, playing with it for awhile till I heard the door swing open. The door wasn’t opened in a harsh manner till the doorknob would slam against the wall, but the swoosh of air from the force was what caused me to lift my head up in mere seconds. Jaehyun walked into the room, and suddenly all the woman staffs were exchanging whispers and murmurs that filled the air in the room almost instantly. Jaehyun was wearing his blazer and dress pants, hair slicked back with just a few strands of hair falling out of place. It’s something he’d wear to the office. But my biggest question is, what was he doing here wearing that outfit?

I guess I was too in my thoughts that I didn’t even notice Jaehyun standing right in front of me and I had to tilt my head higher to meet his face. “Why did you invite me-” “I’ll explain if you stand up and follow me instead of straining your neck like that, baby.” Jaehyun taunted with a vicious happy smile. I stood up, quickly noticing that my force from doing so caused my chest to bump into his. He didn’t stumble back an inch as if he had his feet rooted to the ground. I guess I stood up too hard, I almost fell back when Jaehyun swiftly held my elbow to keep my stability.

Jaehyun jerked his head to the door and moved himself aside, that smile of his still stuck on his face. i furrowed my eyebrows at him as I walked past, glancing to the office cubicles for a moment and I instantly felt a hard whack of jealously and suspicion going right at me in that brief moment. I blinked my eyes rapidly that shook my head almost in an invisible manner and walked out quickly, Jaehyun following a few steps behind. Once I was walking down the hallway, not even sure if I was on the right path, I heard Jaehyun closing the door behind up and taking few large steps to walk beside me. “Explanation still needed.” I said.

“Well. I work here. On my free days from working in the office.” I widened my eyes so much that my eyeballs could have possibly dropped out of my eye sockets as I turned my head to meet his eyes, searching for even a single bit of lie. I didn’t see anything but the truth as he bored his eyes into mine with seriousness. “You? With kids? That’s the most unexpected combination I’ve heard yet.” I commented, my mouth still wide open from being shocked. Jaehyun chuckles, glancing to my mouth for a moment and placing two fingers under my chin to close my mouth shut. That touch alone sent electricity throughout my body and giving me the shock of a different kind.

“I’m working here because there’s this girl I saved one time. Her mother suggested I look over her here.” Jaehyun slid his hands into the pockets of his dress pants, bobbing his shoulder and shifting his head slightly. Questions sprouted in my mind with each word of explanation was being registered into my mind. I would’ve asked what happened to the girl, why he saved her, since when he had a kind heart to do such a thing, and many more. But the only words I could let out were, “I’ve never thought of you like that.” Jaehyun stopped in front of one door, making my clumsiness almost bumping into him from his abrupt stop of motion. He swirled around till his body was completely facing me. “Thought of me like what?” Jaehyun echoed, a brow of intrigue and surprise raising high up.

I licked my lips, avoiding his searching eyes for a moment before shakily meeting his gaze. “Just didn’t think you’re the kind of person to do that.” I swallowed and shook my head vigorously, waving a hand at him loosely. “You know what? It’s nothing. Just my perception on rich people.” Jaehyun opened the door and made way for me to enter. I smiled softly at him for a second and went in. It was a classroom. All the chairs and tables were small, the walls covered in lots of artwork that the kids have done. There wasn’t anyone else, except for a little girl sitting at one of the tables.

Her head lifted from the table and her eyes didn’t even bother to flicker to mine, it went straight for Jaehyun. The moment she saw him, her face lit up so much it could possibly light up the whole world. There were stars sparkling in her eyes and her smile was wide it could blind everything around her. She slid off her backpack from her shoulders and ran with much speed towards Jaehyun. She wrapped her arms around his legs and tilted her head up to look at Jaehyun. “Jaehyun!” She squealed, the high pitch voice of a cute child ringing through my ears.

Jaehyun laughed loudly and squat down to even his eye level with hers. He smiled bright at her. A smile that was genuine and true. A smile that felt like a promise to protect the girl from the world that have his love wrapped around her forever. “I wasn’t even gone for long, Lily.” Jaehyun said, his hand lifting up to stroke her hair. It was only now that I realised just how small she was when Jaehyun’s palm held her tiny head. “Lily, I want you to meet my girlfriend, _____.” I wanted to turn to him and give him a confused look. But I knew that if a kid were to see that, they’d immediately start questioning like curious cats. And so I simply played along, waving a hand at her and smiling widely.

“Hello, Lily.” I greeted, trying to sound as kind and bright as possible. Lily went up to me and had her hands held out. I blinked my eyes and picked her up in my arms on instinct. Luckily I didn’t need to try so hard to carry her. She didn’t feel too heavy. She wrapped her arms around my neck, causing me to let out a “Oh.” I took a close look at her as I saw her doing the same. She was extremely cute. Big eyes and chubby cheeks. Anyone would be charmed by her cuteness. “You’re very pretty.” Lily complimented, which only made my smile grow so much wider for her. “You too.” I said with a giggle.

I shifted my head to see Jaehyun behind Lily in my sight. He had his arms folded and there was a smile of admiration on his face for a split second but it disappeared into nothing when my eyes met his, as if to hide the fact he even made such a face. “Where’s her mother? Shouldn’t she be going home now?” I asked Jaehyun. He took a step closer and gestured to Lily. I raised my eyebrows and passed her into Jaehyun’s arms. He was strong enough to carry her on one arm. I wasn’t at all surprise. “Her mother’s running late at work and she asked me to take care of her in the mean time. I was hoping I could use some help.” He flashed his signature smile. And though I would have refused in the midst of not wanting to see his face, I couldn’t help but swoon at how Lily was practically begging me to stay.

We did a lot of things in the span of a short few hours. Jaehyun offered to take Lily to an ice cream shop nearby for a treat. I never thought Jaehyun would be so good with children. The way his touch was so gentle and soothing, the way he was always attentive to whatever Lily would say and had no trouble carrying a conversation with her. He somewhat took care of her like his own child. We went to everywhere she wanted to go. I did have fun, surprisingly enough. Perhaps it was because Lily was there to entertain me, or maybe I couldn’t stop watching the way Jaehyun was taking care of her. Either way, a long night had now passed and Lily was strapped in the front passenger seat next to Jaehyun, her sleeping figure letting out subtle snors as we drove to take her home.

“That was fun.” I said out of the blue, the silence in the car was staring to get a little unbearable when all I could do to soothe myself down was staring at Lily. I looked to the mirror above, seeing the reflection of Jaehyun’s eyes looking right at me for a split second before adjusting back onto the road. “I’m glad you had fun. She definitely did too.” I chuckled, nodding my head. “Of course she did. Look at all the stuffed toys you got her from the arcade.” I jerked my head to side where the pile of stuffed toys were placed in a hug bag. Jaehyun turned his head to the back to take a glance at it, briefly meeting my eyes and turning back front. “You still suck at arcade games.”

“Shut up.” I grumbled, a smile unconsciously forming on my lips as I smacked Jaehyun’s shoulder lightly. That action seemed to have some effect on him, one I didn’t intend to make, with his frozen form for a split second before relaxing back his body into the seat. We’re now where I assumed would be the neighbourhood, with Jaehyun slowing down the car and looking around to find the correct house. The car was halt to stop in front of a house. I grabbed hold on the bag of stuffed toys while Jaehyun stepped out to go to the other side and pick up Lily. I exited the car and waited for Jaehyun. Jaehyun carried Lily as if she was a little baby, both his arms wrapped around her like she was the most precious thing in the world. I frowned at the soft thought.

Jaehyun and I went to the front of the house and I knocked on the door. There was a brief pause before the door opened, revealing a happy woman at the doorstep. “Jaehyun! Glad you’re here.” She exclaimed with glee. Jaehyun smiled amicably and took a step closer to her to pass Lily into her arms. “She seemed to have a good time with you. She’s sleeping so soundly.” The mother lowered her voice to a whisper as she brushed strands of hair off her daughter’s face. “You must be the girlfriend he talks about too much.” The woman acknowledged me and I quickly straightened my back to offer back a kind smile. “Um yes, I am.” I replied. She sighed peacefully and nodded her head. “Alright. I’ll put her to bed now. Have a goodnight you two.” She smiled widely till her eyes formed thin lines as the two of us downshifted our heads and the door closed.

“What do you think you’re doing?” I asked, my attitude changing in the blink of an eye. So fast that Jaehyun turned to look at me with a quizzical expression as we walked back to the car. “What?” He echoed. “You have no intention with taking me out with Lily today?” I asked again, hoping he’d catch up to where I was heading with the conversation. Turned out he wasn’t, or maybe he was just faking it. He still had a confused look. “There’s nothing wrong in wanting to take you out, is there?” There is. It’s your stupid game I’m worried about. “Besides, it seems like you could use some time off from Uni.” I was shocked that Jaehyun even cared. Now I was doubting if he meant any of that.

I cleared my throat, throwing away my furious aura. “Oh well, thanks.” I simply said, and no words exchanged between us from that moment on all the way till he sent me home. It was calmly quiet and the scene of the night was able to relief some of the awkwardness as I got lost in the way the lights dimly lighted the streets along with the blank dark sky. But the moment I got home, I had to call Taeyong. “Help!” I screamed the moment he picked up. I propped my phone a stack of book I had on my study table and took a seat. Taeyong had a brow raised questionably. “What your emergency?” Taeyong said with much sarcasm, as if he already knew what I ranted about wouldn’t be important.

“Jaehyun. It’s Jaehyun. He’s making me fall for him. I’m going insane.” Taeyong scoffed loudly without a single care for my feelings and looked me at through the screen. “What did he do this time?” Taeyong asked, ruffling his hair as he adjusted himself on his bed. “He took me out, but with a child.” I replied, my words being spoken out at a slow pace to try and make Taeyong realise what I’ve been thinking. “So? You like kids don’t you?” I blinked my eyes rapidly. “I do! But don’t you know what I like better is when I see fathers taking care of their kids!” I screamed, wrapping my arms around my balled up body.

“Ah so he’s using that against you?” Taeyong questioned again and I nodded my head aggressively. Taeyong frowned and rolled his shoulder in a couldn’t-care-less kind of manner, which made me wish I could reach my hand through the screen and slap him in spite. “I’d say just lose. You know you liked him. Even before he started this. Can’t deny any of it.” Taeyong advised, his words lazily rolling off his tongue. “Yeah then what about Jaehyun? He doesn’t have feelings for me anymore.” My voice slowly lowered and softened, eventually becoming inaudible at the end.

Taeyong groaned and rolled his eyes, placing his face closer to the camera. “That’s what he wants you to think, _____. Use your brain a little. He still likes you and it’s obvious. You two should stop the games already.” I sighed and rubbed my forehead, now deep in thought as silence made itself comfortable. The video call was still left on with Taeyong getting out of bed to do some work while I sat there as if I’d never be able to sleep if I kept thinking of Jaehyun.

It’s been like this for awhile. Days and weeks of my head inconsistency thinking of Jaehyun. Some days I was mentally strong enough to push him away and did my assignments like my life depended on if. And other days, I’d be thinking too much to even function. There was something to Jaehyun. No matter what he did, whether it’d be taking me out on spontaneous dates, or reminding me of his game, he left impressions on me I’d never be able to describe in words. I was getting sick of it. This to and fro pattern. I hated how he’s been playing me. And I seemed to always fall in his trap.

Today I was reminded of the conversation I had with Taeyong. About how I had buried feelings for Jaehyun, and how he was trying to bury his but it seemed impossible. Or at least that’s what I would assume. I’d never know what’s going through that head of his. I had to do something soonee, right? I’ve had enough of us not having a clear direction in our relationship, if we even have one at all. I slowly reached my hand out for my phone that was hidden under my pile of papers that were scattered my study table. My hand was reaching out, and with bits of hesitate in the process, I finally picked it up.

“Oh.” I let out unconsciously, seeing a notification from Jaehyun asking me to meet him at a park. The park. Specifically the one I’d remember to be the most vividly beautiful park. It was perfect at night, to watch the city skyline. It was the one trip I didn’t care if I was with Jaehyun, since I had the scenery to admire. When I realised the texts were sent thirty minutes ago, I sprang up from my chair, exerting too much force that it was practically flying away from me. I quickly grabbed a coat, not exactly caring about what I currently wore and rushed out. “He still has to be there.”

I was so stupid for not thinking of wearing any thicker coat. It was the cold season, something I didn’t even bother to take into consideration when I ran out. Was this what Jaehyun was capable of doing to me? Something simple like that had me realising that he really has taken over me. I lost myself, my safety, for him. Or at least I can hope not entirely. I entered the park, sprinting my way through the cold winds of the night to head to where I knew Jaehyun had to be waiting. He had to.

My heart sank. No one was there. No voices heard, no sight of Jaehyun to be seen. I stared at the bench where I hoped to see Jaehyun sitting on. But it was empty. I stepped close to it, letting my fingertips touch the wood. It was cold. Jaehyun was never here to begin with. I swallowed back a tear, wondering why my body was even reacting like this. Why my emotions were clouding my way of thinking. I wanted to hate Jaehyun. But why is it so hard to do so? I turned around and sat down on the bench, digging my hands deeper into my coat. I took out my phone to check, no more texts. Did Jaehyun lie?

I wished I could slap myself at how ridiculous I was looking right now. Waiting in the freezing night for someone who’ll never come. Again I fell for it. I fell for him. Any exposed part of my body was bit with the cold. But if anything could ease me right now in the wait, it would be looking up at the dark sky, ink black canvas freckled with a million droplets of white paint that shined over top. The moon was glowing and had its moonlight shining on everything. I closed my eye shut after getting a good look at the view that the bench provided, my head dropping down and having it hang loosely on my neck for the longest time.

But that was when I heard footsteps. Specifically two, right in front of me. I still had my eyes closed, thinking it was just someone who was walking by. Until I heard the leaves rustling under their feet. I fluttered to my eyes open, bringing a hand up to rub my eyes to clear my vision. I didn’t need to. I knew who it was. And it was Jaehyun. “You idiot.” Jaehyun’s voice was a faint whisper, but a sharp one. When I was about to stand up, he had a firm grip around my waist, pulling me up till our bodies touch and I felt his warmth instantly. With his grip still on me, he brought me closer, pulling me into his embrace. I let myself melt into his touch and bury my face into the crook of his neck. All to feel the warmth, or maybe not.

The tears were beginning to well up, and I eventually let it fall, drying it with the sleeve of Jaehyun’s shirt. “Why weren’t you there?” I cried out, my voice muffled. “How long have you been waiting?” Jaehyun questioned, making me look up to have a proper thought. I shrugged. “Fuck you.” I muttered under my breath, but of course I did it for him to hear. The tears that were falling and making its marks on my cheeks one by one fell. But Jaehyun was there to brush each and every one away expertly with his thumb. The warmth of his palm rest against my cheeks, and I closed my eyes yet again.

“I’m sorry.” Jaehyun finally said after a long silence between us. I furrowed my eyebrows. “Sorry for what?” “Everything.” Jaehyun answered almost instantly, upfront and out there with nothing to hide in his tone. I rolled my eyes, making an attempt to pull away from him but his strong hold prevented me from doing so. “Why would you wait for me?” Jaehyun asked, and I had no energy to answer. “I’m sorry, baby.” That shocked me. Everything about it did. His words were soft and gentle, as if not wanting to harm me a single bit, wary of what came out his mouth. The eyes that looked into mine was genuine, true. His hold around my waist got came loose slightly.

“So? I mean you succeeded. You really did play me. I like you. And if you don’t, please don’t be like this. Right now.” That was my denial talking. Wanting all of this to be unreal. For this to be a dream. “It wasn’t fake. None of it was. Except for that one time I said it.” I knew what he was referring to. “Please. All this while. I never let go of my feelings for you. I’m sorry.” With each word making me feel like I could crumble to my feet, it was as if Jaehyun was still holding me there. Still making me stand. Jaehyun brought his face closer, so close that they were brushing against mine.

“Forgive me.” Jaehyun slowly landed his lips on mine. We didn’t move, and so did the world. His lips were warm against mine, soft and slick to the touch. Mine must’ve been rough from the cold, but it didn’t seem to bother him one bit. I slowly went closer as I got comfortable, pulling myself to him and resting my body on his. The world froze in its place and it seemed that nothing else mattered but me or him. With everything I went through, I was still shaky in my feelings for him. But for now, just for now, I think the two of us had the same thing running through our minds, the same heartbeat and the same love.

[lepusrufus]

Lil' Mia and Miranda thing since I dragged you guys down the rarepair hell with me~

---

Lab equipment was really not meant to blend well within a lived-in home. And it didn't. The plush carpet on top of wooden floors giving way to the smooth lab flooring that squeaked under boots not appropriate for the setting created an odd contrast. Not that that was uncharacteristic for Miranda, any of her workspaces falling perfectly under the description of an organized mess, with particular emphasis on mess.

With Rose sleeping peacefully in the room generously, suspiciously so, provided by Miranda, Mia decided to stretch her legs by walking around the manor, the baby monitor connected to her phone. The building was relatively big, albeit quite old, tucked in the woods somewhere between the Beneviento house and the factory, with a tunnel conveniently connecting it to the labs running under the town. It had close to no spatial organization, bedrooms and labs and storage rooms alternating by patterns known only by the so-called goddess, or most likely not even by her.

Mia did not trust the woman. Not with the memories of the prison cell and the kidnapping of her daughter for experiments still fresh in her mind. But, the tiredness of motherhood and the odd loneliness that came with being the only two inhabitants of the house that were capable of coherent speech as of now, had her longing for some company.

It was an easy task finding Miranda, the soft cries of Eva guiding her down a short hallway to a lab door left ajar. Inside, the woman was sat at a desk, a laptop with half written reports and notes in front of her, pushed out of the grasp of the fussing infant in her arms. Miranda was far too busy trying to calm her daughter down enough to fall asleep to notice Mia leaning on the doorframe, curiously observing the scene. Oddly human, in her failing attempt to get her child to stop crying, when at any given time she could get anyone to kneel before her and bend over backwards to her every whim. Yet a small infant was giving her so much trouble.

"Need a hand?" Mia offered with a small chuckle. Should she even offer her help?

"I am fine thank you." But a slightly louder wail from Eva came with perfect timing to disprove her words.

Miranda's shoulders seemed to slump ever so slightly as her eyes closed slowly, the usual makeup replaced by dark circles, testimony to the long hours spent going through decades of research and reports while also caring for her newly reborn daughter. It was oddly bittersweet, to see a woman so dignified otherwise all but beg the small child to go to sleep so she could finish her work.

Work, Mia concluded, that was rather essential for the whole place, and also her home for now, to continue existing the way it was. With a sigh she walked up to the desk and gently stoked Eva's short brunette hair. "Here, let me hold her. At least until you finish typing whatever it is you're doing," she said waving a hand in the direction of the forgotten computer, who's screen had turned black by now.

There were a few long seconds of hesitation, but a weary glance at the mountain of files on the other side of the desk that she was yet to go through convinced Miranda to finally allow her daughter slip into Mia's arms. It took maybe five minutes of cooing and a one sided conversation made in silly voices to turn the cries into giggles, small hands trying to grasp at Mia's finger that was ticklishly caressing puffy cheeks. Exhausted from crying, Eva's eyes slowly fluttered shut and she was gingerly lowered into a crib set by the desk, one of the many scattered around the house.

Miranda watched the scene unfold with uncharacteristic softness slipping by the icy mask of her steely eyes. Even goddesses can be caught by surprise it seemed, and whether it was due to the apparent skills that Mia had with calming Eva down or at how she was willing to help despite their precarious position was up to debate.

"Shouldn't you be better at this," Mia asked, pulling one of the chairs closer to sit in. "I know it's been, what, two or three centuries or something but haven't you done this before?"

Her question was obviously poking fun for the most part, but Miranda couldn't help the tired sigh that crawled its way from the depths of her now useless lungs.

"No, actually. I haven't," she responded curtly as she grabbed one of the files and opened it in order to transcribe its contents in a digital file. "At least not on my own," she added upon remembering the numerous subjects she helped raise during her time working with The Connections.

"Oh? Did you have a sweet loving husband once upon a time? Do tell me more," Mia said leaning her chin on her palms as if she were a teenager at a sleepover talking about crushes, although the memory of Ethan clawing its way to the forefront of her thoughts made her grimace slightly, until she pushed it back down in the depths of her mind.

It was foolish perhaps, acting like that around a woman that could, and would with the right motivation, kill her in the blink of an eye. Truth be told though, Mia was bored out of her mind, so what better way to pass the time than push Miranda's buttons, especially when she seemed too tired to retaliate.

The so-called goddess grimaced, at least ten different reasons to find the thought outrageous flashing through her mind and, settling on the most obvious one, looked at her, one eyebrow raised. "I was a nun."

Mia leaned back in her chair, looking at the black head covering hanging from a hook behind the door, together with black robes. She had to wonder if they were the same ancient ones or if she replaced them every once in a while.

"Yeah, I couldn't tell," she chuckled. "A nun turned goddess. How ironic don't you think."

"Worshipping was never quite up my alley. And neither were men," she replied flatly, turning the pages in front of her and typing the relevant information in the file she had open on the screen.

Mia's eyes widened slightly with an amused oh. "So was she raised by the convent then?"

Was this information really to be given out? Mirada did not like talking about her past, or personal information in general. Gods did not need backstories, they simply were.

She sighed. "No, no. Her parents died when she was four and with nobody else to look for her, she was brought to us." Miranda gave a small shrug, pausing to type up decades old results on lycans. "I was the newest there, so the nuns dumped her on me. I was so mad at first, but she's always been such a brilliant little girl, even back then. She would ask for a bedtime story and did not complain when I'd start reading from one of the medical books I stole from the merchant. There was just something about her that made her grow on me."

With the paragraph done, she pushed her chair back, quietly so as to not have its legs scratch against the linoleum floor, and walked to another, smaller desk pushed against a wall. From there, she walked back to the crib where the small infant was sleeping peacefully, a small doll in hand. Doll that Mia recognized immediately, as an identical one was by her own daughter's sleeping form, back in their room. It was a small replica of Angie, plush and soft to the touch, unlike its real life wooden counterpart, the white dress made of delicate silk. Both toys had been made by Donna herself as gifts.

"But as you can guess, she was well past a toddler when she was placed in my care," Miranda finished, leaving the doll just by her sleeping daughter's side.

"So you suck with babies," Mia concluded with a grin. She would have laughed, but had enough clarity of mind to be quiet.

Miranda simply gave her a tired glare before rolling her eyes. She went back to her desk and opened a new file to be transcribed, this one on the reservoir's structure.

"I can care for them," she started, an odd almost imperceptible strain in her voice. "It just gets trickier when it's my own daughter and not an act."

Mia nodded absent mindedly, eyes darting to Eva. To see a woman with such power and ruthlessness, who could level the whole town to the ground if she so pleased, show such raw genuine affection towards the child made some of the notions in her brain crumble to the ground. Miranda was still the same woman who, ironically enough, experimented on more children than she cared to count, but then again Mia was also a willing participant in said experiments so was she really that much better?

She definitely was, Mia concluded, choosing to ignore a small pang at her heart when she watched all the ice in those gray eyes melt into tenderness while looking at her daughter. Instead, she started toying with one of the many pens scattered on the desk.

"Since I'm staying here, I don't mind helping you out with her," Mia said quietly, keeping her eyes on the small giraffe doodle she was doing on a napkin.

It wasn't for Miranda's sake really. She simply wanted the best for Eva, the child completely innocent unlike the atrocities committed by her mother throughout the last few centuries. Besides, it would be nice for Rose to have a friend not unlike herself, given the yet to be understood power both girls possessed.

"There's no need-"

"Consider it a thank you for letting us stay here, without a sniper pointing at my daughter's head at all times," Mia finished, a slither of ire slipping into her tone on the last words, the memory of a rookie agent panicking and pointing his gun to Rose for the unforgivable crime of being a hungry crying child seared behind her eyelids.

Miranda sighed, an odd sense of relief washing over her. After centuries of trying to bring her back, you'd think the she would do anything to spend each and every second with Eva, not letting anyone else care for her in any capacity, but truth be told, the prospect of not facing motherhood completely alone, even if Mia was helping her solely out of some sense of obligation, did not sound half bad.

"As you wish," she finally said, going back to the half written paragraph her mind drifted away from minutes earlier.

[cursedwriter]

Cursed! Part 3 - Gojo Satoru

Part One // Part Two // Jujutsu Kaisen Masterlist 

Synopsis: After running some errands you’re caught off guard by a curse user. Unbeknownst to you, he has something up his sleeve that would mean a fate worse than death to you. How will you get out of this? And what role does your boyfriend - the Satoru Gojo - play in all of this?

Words: 1.3k

Author’s Note: Feedback is appreciated! Thanks for reading! 

Gojo was already running in the direction where the maniac had disappeared to. Upon hearing you scream he had been momentarily distracted which had given the culprit the opportunity to slip out of his sight. No matter, though. He was no match for him anyway. When Gojo reached the end of the park, though, the veil you had cast sent a jolt of energy through his body, pushing him back and not letting him through. Ugh, not that again! Looked like he was trapped here. That bastard! I swear to God if I ever come across you again, you won’t be laughing anymore, Satoru thought. A sick grin spread across his face as he thought of all the ways he could make that pathetic excuse of a man cry and beg him to show mercy. He wouldn’t though. That thought made him smile even more until…

Something shattered against his limitless technique. Well, not just something. It was a surge of pure cursed energy perfectly aimed and concentrated. The sheer force of the blast had his feet slipping slightly and any normal opponent would’ve been swept off their feet completely. Gojo turned around to see where the hit had come from, but the sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach already told him everything he didn’t want to know.  The flowing cursed energy in the air, that perfectly aimed hit… it all led to one person and person only. You.

Another hit. This time he saw the bright flash of a glowing arrow connecting and disrupting on the outside of his protective infinity shield.

What the hell were you doing?

Another hit. The force of the blasts was increasing and Gojo sucked in air through his gritted teeth.

“Y/N, what the hell?! Stop hitting me!” Gojo complained, though, dread was spreading throughout his whole body. He could only hope that his suspicion was false. No, he forced himself to think it was false.

No way in hell, no way, no way. No. Fucking. Way.

“You should’ve run when you still could.” Your voice echoed off the trees in the confined space. Gojo had his back turned to the veil, trapping him like a mouse. He had yet to see your face. Your cursed energy was concentrated in a tree to his right. You must’ve climbed up there when you last hit him with one of your arrows made out of light and cursed energy. As if to prove him right – though, of course he was right – multiple arrows flew out of the tree crown, hitting and exploding upon impact. “I can’t stop, Gojo. I’m sorry, but I can’t stop.” Your quiet sobs reached his ears and he could feel his heart dropping to his stomach, slowly and painfully being digested by his stomach acid.

Finally, you jumped off the tree branch you’d been sitting on, landing on your feet gracefully and even in a situation like this, Gojo couldn’t help but admire you. Your eyes were bloodshot, red from crying so much. Your whole body shook with the force of you weeping and sobbing as a glowing sword materialized out of thin air, perfectly fitting in your hand.

Gojo didn’t say anything, he already knew what was going on. A bitter laugh escaped his parted lips. That fucking bastard. He had to hand it to him, though. It was one hell of a plan. Having you kill him or forcing him to kill you. Either way, it was a fight without victory.

“Satoru,” Your voice was earnest, pleading. “You have to do it! Please, you have to!” Your mouth was telling him one thing, but your body was acting on its own accord, swinging the sword with murderous precision at your sides. “It’s okay, I promise. Please! It has to be you!”

Were you seriously asking him to kill you?

“It’s fine, as long as I have my shield, you can’t touch me anyways. The veil won’t hold forever, that’s impossible. We just have to wait until someone from the college notices and helps with backup, then we’ll kill that sleazy bastard and the curse will be lifted. Simple, right? So don’t panic, it’s going to be alright,” Gojo tried to reason, voice calm and collected despite him being more anxious than he cared to admit.  Even to himself.

But it wasn’t going to be alright. Of course not. The curse user had planned it all out to the latter. He anticipated his own death already, but not before one of you would die as well.

“No, no, no,” you shook your head as if you could shake the impending words out of your mind. “I – I won’t. No. No!” Your eyes met Gojo’s which were blown wide in horror upon seeing you like this. The sight hurt more than any physical attack ever could.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, though, he doubted he wanted to know.  

“The… The trump card. Do you remember my trump card? The one I was never able to master?”

Of course he did. He was the one who egged you on to perfect the technique after all. Gojo nodded slowly. A big lump already forming in his throat, while his mind raced a thousand miles per minute, already planning out different scenarios.

“Well, he wants me to use it.” For a brief moment your eyes seemed to lose their murderous intent. “Please, Gojo, you have to do it. Now! I don’t know how much longer I can fight it!”

You lifted your sword in the air, pure cursed energy surging through your body, concentrating at the very tip of your sword. Though, everything within you willed you to strike him in the heart or cut his head off, you forced your arm to aim for his leg instead. It wouldn’t make contact with him anyway… or so you thought.

“Gojo! Gojo, what the hell?!” You screamed at the top of your lungs. Did he really just release his cursed technique? Why?! Why would he do that?! “You idiot! You idiot!” The sword in your hand shrunk down to a small but deathly dagger as you watched the blood spilling from the wound in his leg. Gojo stumbled and fell to the ground, grunting in pain, but he tried to keep his expression as neutral as possible. For your sake, you knew that. He must’ve been in tremendous pain right now. Your body moved on its own, hovering above him, dagger slightly raised above his heart. Tears spilled from your waterline, blurring your vision as you saw the adoring smile on his face. “You idiot! Put it back on! Put it back on!” You screamed. This wasn’t how it was supposed to end. No. He wasn’t the one who was supposed to die.

It should be me. It should be me! Dammit!

Your body shook with your sobs, hand with the dagger inching closer to where it wanted to connect. You forced ever fiber of your being, ever cell in your body to stop, but nothing worked. Your body didn’t listen to any of your commands. All you could do was watch as the dagger inched closer and closer. “Gojo, please!” You begged. What was he doing? Why wasn’t he doing anything?! “Do something!!!”

Unexpectedly he reached forward, thumb brushing over your cheek affectionately and wiping away the tears from under your eyes. “I promised to protect you, didn’t I? This way I’m dying willingly. You don’t have to feel bad about it. I won’t force you to use your trump card and feel guilty for it for the rest of your life.” His hand still lingered on your cheek, the warmth of it flowing through your freezing body. “It’s okay, Y/N, I promise!”

“No, please don’t!” But you couldn’t keep your hand from moving forward…