#never OCCURRED to me until i saw people talking about it on tumblr

[ineffablefool]

Could we please be kind to people who don’t come on their own to every common conclusion, or who maybe think they’re interpreting something correctly but aren’t sure of their own judgement?  I was never 100% sure that Aziraphale stayed at Crowley’s until Neil confirmed it in that answer up there.  I thought it was the case, but couldn’t be sure that I wasn’t just reading into it what I wanted to see.

Not everyone’s brains work the same way.  I mean, I saw Aziraphale-as-Crowley walking outside, an anonymous building in the background, the Bentley parked on a nearby curb, and I didn’t know for sure that the building was definitely Crowley’s and that Aziraphale had definitely just come out of it and that Adam had definitely stuck the Bentley there because of it being Crowley’s place.  I understand that other people did know these things for sure!  We interpreted it differently, because that is what humans do.  I’m really hoping that the zeitgeist hasn’t pivoted around so that now it’s cool to question the basic observational abilities of the lucky 10,000, because I frequently miss things that other people find obvious and I’d like to be able to do that without getting judged for not picking up subtext.

Hey Neil I was wondering in the scene where Crowley offers for Aziraphale to stay at his place but Aziraphale declines where did Aziraphale stay that night because he couldn’t of stayed at the bookshop? Also do you have a release date for Good Omens season 2 yet?

He stayed at Crowley's place. (I mean, you see him leaving Crowley's place the next morning.)

[pearwaldorf]

I suppose it is a testament to how viral the Kendrick Lamar/Drake beef is because I saw Tumblr talking about it. I mean this descriptively and pejoratively.

Once upon a time, there were Black people on Tumblr. I remember this because I was there. There were enough, in fact, that there was a regular Blackout day where users pledged to boost Black content and selfies. The site has gotten so much whiter, to the point where you see shit like this. Some white people are absolute weaksauce and I'm genuinely amazed they don't, like, clutch their pearls when they encounter rap/hip-hop/R&B in real life.

There's a now deleted post that talked about how rap has been the most discriminated against music genre because of its intimate association with Blackness*. "Concern" about rap is why we have those parental advisory stickers on physical media. idk if they still do this, but they used to have radio stations that proudly proclaimed "All the music you love, minus the rap!" (I don't remember if they included all predominantly Black genres of music or just rap. Either way it was racist af.)

And until I read Gita's post (full disclosure: they're talking about my tags), it never occurred to me there are people who can go their whole goddamn lives without ever listening to rap/hip-hop. It's like calling yourself a well-rounded reader but not reading Morrison, Delany, or Baldwin. I genuinely do not believe you can say you know about music if you don't have at least a high level understanding of hip-hop. (Or jazz. Or country. But I digress.)

Like. Kendrick isn't exactly new on the scene. He won a Pulitzer, ffs! (Drake isn't either but idgaf about him, for many reasons.) And if people's minds are blown that rap can sound "like that"? If I were gracious I'd say "Welcome to being one of the ten thousand" but honestly it makes me sad it took beef for people to discover how good Kendrick and rap can be, because they never bothered to look outside their little bubble or allowed racist assumptions to color their perceptions of it.

--

* On the flip side, back when Hamilton was a thing, I legit saw people on here say rap should only be made by Black people. idk what they thought Lin Manuel Miranda is, but spoiler, he's not Black. Also saying that displays some real fucking ignorance about rap/hip-hop as a an expression of resistance all over the world.

[velvetvexations]

RE: Lovecraft's racism

I don't have anything meaningful to add, just some personal anecdotes.

I started reading Lovecraft from some selected works books, and I didn't see any issue for most of it. I didn't know his reputation, and also I am European so race is not something that I am actively aware about (because POC here are extremely rare and mostly are rich tourists and exchange students rather than minorities). Up until he described Inuits as "dwarfish creatures who call themselves Eskimos".

Later I have read complete collections of his works and saw some absolutely horrific racist sentiments, and also now that I am tumblr-level socialist I can see all problematic innuendos in selected works as well, so it's in no way defense of Lovecraft. Just my addition.

P.S.: I also think that people calling Lovecraft exceptionally racist just didn't read a lot of popular USAmerican fiction of the time. Burroughs is IMO worse, or at least more obvious about it.

P.P.S.: There was a popular joke some time ago like "Lovecraft would go insane if he met me" that was made by white neurodivergent queer people, and I feel that it's weirdly tone deaf. We don't know Lovecraft's opinion on homosexuality or transgenderism, at all. He probably was at least somewhat homophobic considering times, but we just can't prove that he wouldn't have changed his mind if presented with science-based arguments, and autism is definitely not what he considered scary mental illnesses. His entire deal was being racist, not just generally bad person.

P.P.P.S. (wow): Also, not enough people talk about him describing political system of Great Race of Yig (or whatever they are called) as "a mix of socialism and fascism"

Actually, we DO know how he felt about queer people!

From a letter to J. Vernon Shea:

I guess it is true that homosexuality is a rare theme for novels—partly because public attention was seldom called to it (except briefly during the Wilde period) until a decade ago, & partly because any literary use of it always incurs the peril of legal censorship. As a matter of fact—although of course I always knew that paederasty was a disgusting custom of many ancient nations—I never heard of homosexuality as an actual instinct till I was over thirty…which beats your record! It is possible, I think that this perversion occurs more frequently in some periods than in others—owing to obscure biological & psychological causes. Decadent ages—when psychology is unsettled—seem to favour it. Of course—in ancient times the extent of the practice of paederasty (as a custom which most simply accepted blindly, without any special inclination) cannot be taken as any measure of the extent of actual psychological perversion. Another thing—many nowadays overlook the fact that there are always distinctly effeminate types which are most distinctly not homosexual. I don’t know how psychology explains them, but we all know the sort of damned sissy who plays with girls & who—when he grows up—is a chronic “cake-eater”, hanging around girls, doting on dances, acquiring certain feminine mannerisms, intonations, & tastes, & yet never having even the slightest perversion of erotic inclinations.

Even worse, from a letter to James F. Morton:

Have you seen that precious sissy that I met in Cleveland? Belknap says he’s hit the big town, and that he’s had some conversation with him. When I saw that marcelled what is it I don’t know whether to kiss it or kill it! It used to sit cross-legged on the floor at Elgin’s and gaze soulfully upward. It didn’t like me and Galpin—too horrid, rough and mannish for it!

The idea that this fucking dweep saw himself as the alpha male in the room is dadgum hilarious.

And yet, R. H. Barlow and Samuel Loveman (again) were gay. Did Lovecraft know? He met the aforementioned "precious sissy" at a gathering Loveman had taken him to. R. H. Barlow wrote a story lost to us called "I Hate Queers" which Lovecraft read that certainly sounds psychologically revealing, but his brief commentary on it really tells us nothing about the content and if it made Barlow's closet more transparent or not.

Derleth said Lovecraft "seemed" to be unaware they were gay, but what the fuck does that asshole know? Lovecraft personally explained the ideas behind his stories to him and he still fucked up the Mythos for decades with his bullshit. On the other hand, Derleth was bisexual himself, and I don't know how Lovecraft couldn't have picked up on it from this letter he sent him:

I can understand your detestation of sex irregularities in life as violations of harmony and I here fully agree with you. I had previously misunderstood you to mean protestation from a basis of morals, and on this basis I would have stood squarely opposed to you. I have known and still know many people who are sexually irregular, both homosexual men and women, and except for three cases out of perhaps 21, I have always found these people highly intellectual, fully aware of what they were doing, and in all cases quite helpless. Speaking perspectively and in the abstract, I could as easily conceive myself entering upon a monogamous homosexual relation as a heterosexual one—though perhaps practice would change that point of view. To quibble about mere words, I should not say that perverts necessarily lived inartistically.

As to if Lovecraft would have accepted scientific evidence in favor of queer validity, maybe. He was becoming a full-blown Actual Communist towards the very end of his life and his racial views, while still preferring to keep cultures separate, had gotten to the point where he believed a Chinese baby raised by White parents would be essentially the same as a White person, which is, uh, technically progress?

[pseudowho]

Hello Haitch,

I'm sending this to both you and Mr Haitch, so if you are seeing double that's why. I don't know if I'm looking for advice, an opinion? Maybe just talking to either of you will provide me with solace. Please bare with me as I write this - and you read - as words are not my strong suit.

So, I'm 19 - almost 20 - ( scary stuff ), and I just feel.. well, is there really a word? Alone; regretful; fucking empty. I haven't even lived through a quarter of my life yet, and I already feel as if it's been wasted. I know that there are still so many years with experiences I will remember in my rocking chair, and I don't plan to go down that route by any means. Because I want to live. But, I'm so tired. People need people, but I am not needed by anyone nor do I have anyone to need. I mean, quite literally one of the people whom I care the most for in this world is in my god-damned head. Of course, I have my family but that's different. It always is.

You're not a therapist, so I won't rattle on any more about this and that because it's not fair to burden you with a stranger's issues - this isn't even half of what I want to scream about from the fucking rooftops though. But, I'd like to say: here and now, that I want to change. And, y'know, I saw this quote once - about change ( it's not something I really feel comfortable with ). It went along the lines of: " I want to do this; But, I'm scared; Then do it scared. "

It'd be nice to not be scared of doing it.

I'll make a deal with you, not that you have to agree. I will message again in a month, maybe two, maybe in a year's time - who knows. An update, based upon what I have written and whatever your reply may be. No pressure, eh?

---

And, finally, one last thing: I would like to express my gratitude for both you and Mr Haitch on this platform - your dynamic, companionship ( both seemingly physical and online ); I envy the love you share. Not to just each other, but to us. Strangers through a screen. I never would have found you had it not been for Tumblr, so I appreciate that and you.

Speak to you again soon (I'll be waving at you behind my screen whenever you two post something new ). x 🌻

Hello little 🌻

While it seems you haven't necessarily messaged for advice, and more, someone who cares to whom you can give updates, I shall say this: I will be thrilled for your update, however long it may be until then.

I will gently advise one thing; endeavouring to be needed is often a one-way ticket to forming toxically dependent relationships. One should embrace being needed when it occurs organically, yes. Rather, perhaps, you could want to be wanted? Being around people who want you, and are largely self-dependent enough to need you less frequently, is very satisfying.

Having an absolute rock, upon whom you can mutually lean, want, and need, is a different matter entirely. I find that people who need to be needed often find themselves used.

Remember that being brave is being scared and doing it anyway. Find your fears, examine them, then punch them in the face. I believe in you.

Before the age of 20, you are for the most part, a literal child. Your only 'job' is to grow up. Every single experience is starting to add up to not only who you are today, but the potential of what you may be. You are barely an adult; you haven't wasted a single moment. Stop berating yourself for this. It's meaningless and will get you nowhere.

Seek happiness and growth, wherever they may be. Do not define success by the standards of another, but by your own. Find the fine line between exceeding your limits and overdoing it.

And for the love of god, stop hating yourself.

Thank you for loving me and Mr.Haitch. I know how uniquely privileged I am to have him.

Love,

-- Haitch xxx

[swordsonnet]

idk how to phrase this in a way that doesn't come across as overly confrontational, but these posts that are like "even if you're autistic, you still need to eat lots of vegetables :)" kind of rub me the wrong way. don't get me wrong, i get that eating vegetables is important, but a lot of the time these posts are ignorant to how sensory issues relating to food actually manifest in a lot of autistic people, and end up sounding... honestly quite condescending. sure, most of them are written by autistic people, but usually with relatively mild issues around food that they could just "train themselves out of", and so they seem to assume that every autistic person can do the same, which is just not true. there's a lot of "i guarantee you you'd love this vegetable if you just cooked it the right way!" or "you need to buy better quality veggies, just go to the farmer's market!", but for many autistic people, how something is cooked or where it's sourced from doesn't make a difference. (not to mention that following more complex recipes or going to the farmer's market isn't always possible for disabled people in the first place. many of us rely on food that is easy to prepare and can be found at the local supermarket/ordered online.)

when i say i don't like a certain food item, i don't mean that i find it a bit dull. i mean that it literally makes me feel sick, that it tastes like biting into something rotten. and that applies regardless of how it's prepared or where it's from. i'm mostly sensitive to bitterness, so there's a lot of vegetables i can't eat, and likely never will. i still try to regularly incorporate the vegetables i can eat into my diet, but i'm just not able to eat a wide variety of them.

and that's an experience these posts rarely acknowledge, let alone understand. the thing is, a lot of us have tried everything suggested in them, or have been forced to try it by our parents/guardians/teachers/etc. it's not like those things have never occurred to us until we saw random tumblr user #277379 talk about them! we have tried different ways of cooking the foods we hate, buying different kinds of them, mixing them with foods we like. and they still taste like dirt to us! because we're not just "picky eaters", we're dealing with debilitating sensory issues.

i know the people making those posts mean well. i'm not trying to shame anyone here. but i think it's important to understand that for at least some autistic people, their sensory issues around food can't be "fixed" with a few simple tricks.

[not-made-of-actual-rye]

I'm not done (if you saw my last post). This time, though, I'm not talking about the sick old men who are my band directors. Let's go a little bit younger.

There's this guy I know. His fake name (because his real name makes me feel sick to my stomach) is Aaron. I've never talked about him on social media before, mostly because he's on every other platform of social media I have other than Tumblr (I'd praise god if I weren't atheist)

Aaron always scared me. Immediate red flag, right? 🚩 Well, I met him exactly 10 days after I officially started dating my boyfriend. It's probably a good time to mention (unfortunately) that Aaron is my boyfriend's oldest brother.

If you've seen the other post, you'll know I am in my school's band (this took place before all the shit that made me hate the band directors, mind you, and I still loved band with my entire heart and soul at this point). Unfortunately, my boyfriend comes from a very musical family, and every single one of them is/was an instrumentalist.

On this unfortunate day of December 15th, 2023, our band directors decided it was a wonderful idea to have an alumni game, where all former graduates of our school are allowed back to play again in a pep band game. I'd never met Aaron until this point, and I admitted to my boyfriend that I didn't want to meet him. Again, gut feeling that he was bad news.

That night, he asked his brother to point me out. Me being scared of him (he was also right behind me in the stands) I avoided him as best I could, but being in his general proximity gave me a massive headache that didn't go away for the rest of the night. He was also a very loud player (egotistical bitch) and was bothering other members of my section too

After the pre-game performance, I ended up finding him looking lost in the back hallway that typically only the band members used. Just being kind, I explained to him that most people were out socializing in the Commons, and it would be better for him to wait out there rather than alone in the hallway.

I was unfortunately naive when this occurred, and I didn't realize his intentions when he began using this time with us alone to interrogate me, including questions about where I lived and what my parents did for work. I didn't clock this as creepy behavior until much, much too late, because I assumed he was just being friendly. Even so, when I did manage to escape his questioning, I hid with a group of friends and avoided him as best I could.

As far as I knew, nothing else happened for a couple months (there was actually a lot happening at this time that I'll cover later) until my boyfriend invited me and one of my best friends at the time to a college pep band game that his father led. I had a lot of fun there, and I loved every minute of it (except when my boyfriend neglected to give me literally any important information about this event I'd never gone to despite me begging him to give me details)

At this game and at this college, there's a long-standing tradition where attractive college women will dress in bathing suits and cover up with trenchcoats, only to reveal their bodies whenever the opposing team attempted to score a free throw

Aaron made a comment about my makeup (I like to do more graphic looks including rhinestones around my eyes), saying, and I quote "At least you're drawing attention to your eyes, and not..." and he trailed off but he made it abundantly clear he was referring to the ladies in swimsuits. Especially when he followed his statement up with, "Of course, you're aware of the tradition, right?" He began explaining it to me while I stood there in silence.

For a while, I thought his comment had been funny. It became an inside joke between me and my boyfriend, because, again, I had been naive and not realized it was not only weird but also extremely creepy to be making comments about a 15-year old showing off her body like the adult college students were. (Reminder that he was 25 at the time, and knew my age)

This all occurred on January 20th, 2024. 3 months later (almost exactly) on April 21st, I was visiting my boyfriend's house for the second time. It was going really well, until I forced my boyfriend to show me his phone. I knew he'd been hiding things from me because he would panic every time I got his phone, even if I didn't have any desire to open it. This had been going on for at least 2 months, possibly longer.

For whatever reason, he finally allowed me to see. I looked through his texts when I found they were about me. They were between both of his older brothers. These messages varied between talking about my deepest insecurities (something I'd trusted my boyfriend and only my boyfriend with, not even my closest friends), as well as them berating me for being crazy, psycho, and a red flag. All these insults came directly from Aaron himself, mind you.

I laid on my boyfriend's bed, scrolling through and reading everything they'd ever said about me. He laid behind me, watching. He said mostly nothing, only ever asking if I was okay, to which I couldn't answer by how betrayed and shocked I felt about this whole ordeal.

The texts about me had started back in November, when my boyfriend and I had started talking and falling for each other. He'd gone to his older brothers asking for advice, and they'd given it excitedly, because they'd been wanting him to get a girlfriend for a while before he'd met me. Aaron specifically had been more obsessed with our relationships, even going as far as to make comments about how I better be pretty (his words were "she better not be mid" he then clarified "not attractive")

I cried silently while I read the story of how my boyfriend had told them almost everything I never wanted anyone to know, and even though I knew he'd been hiding something, I never would have assumed it'd be that. I screenshotted the messages (some, not all... I wanted some to remain hidden from anyone who asked to see the messages, because I knew that time would come) and sent them to myself. I sat in his room in silence for a couple minutes just to process everything, ignoring everything he'd try to say to me, and texted his little sister, one of my best friends, if I could hang out in her room for a while because I didn't want to look at him.

I showed her everything, because I figured if I didn't, someone else would, and even though she was younger than I am, she agreed with me that it was messed up and tried her best to comfort me. I stayed with her for longer than I anticipated until I was ready to face my boyfriend again. I went in his room and laid on the bed with him in silence, crying. I said I wasn't sure if I could still love him after that, and even though it hurt seeing his reaction as I broke his heart, he'd broken mine too.

I went home, hiding the truth from my mother when she asked how everything went. I texted my boyfriend and we argued about everything. I officially ended it that night, because I refused to stay with someone who never wanted to be with me forever in the first place.

It was a messy breakup, one that isn't really important to the story aside from knowing about the existence of the text messages and some of the content they contained. Long story very very short, my boyfriend and I got back together after we had a lot of long discussions about the texts.

Essentially, I realized that, aside from my boyfriend telling them things he never should have, he was mostly just asking for advice and answering their questions when the time arose. In the grand scheme of things, it was Aaron (and perhaps the other brother like... once) who was making the nasty comments about me, including not only the creepy comment about my attractiveness, but also sexual things (note that my boyfriend and I never had sex and he knew this).

As if that wasn't enough, the time before my boyfriend and I got back together (we remained friends after the breakup even though we both knew we still had feelings for each other) I learned more about Aaron. A lot of this was from my ex-boyfriend, but some was from his social media (what is with millennials and thinking they should post their every thought online?)

I learned a lot of things about my new enemy Aaron. Some of them included:

His wife, whom he'd married 3 days before my boyfriend and I started officially started dating, was only 3 or 4 years older than me, at the age of 19.

His wife was also homeschooled, never went to college, and had limited social interaction outside of her many siblings and her parents. She met Aaron at either 17 or 18. Aaron, 24-soon-to-be-25, started dating his now-wife as soon as she would've graduated high school at the age of 18.

Aaron has a birth defect (no name was given but I have used this wonderful resource named Google and am making an educated guess in saying it is hypogonadism) which, and I am very sorry to have to type this but it is important, makes it very hard for him to produce sperm.

After only 2 months of marriage, Aaron got his 19-year-old wife pregnant (and I can pinpoint the exact day it was conceived because he told his 16-year old brother, aka my boyfriend, all about it)

Maybe it's just me, but having testosterone issues to the point where you require you're essentially unable to ejaculate (infertility, a common symptom of hypogonadism) and then suddenly being able to make a kid after 2 months as soon as you fuck a teenager? Interesting...

That's all I have to say for now. My hatred for this "man" runs deep, and it will probably be like that for years, but I don't care. I want nothing to do with him

[endst0ne]

in addition...

hi girlies. obligatory "not an avid tumblr user" and "crappy grammar/formatting ahead". i'm here to add onto two very important posts about user cheebs (chibidashie on this website). i'm very briefly mentioned in a post made by cheebs as well as in mick (link) and dapp's (link) statements, so I'd like to give a glimpse of my experience with cheebs as well, especially regarding the vile accusations made towards me in her rant.

i would highly suggest reading the previous two statements first. mick and dapp have gotten the brunt of cheeb's vicious behavior, and deserve to be heard. my statement is here to give my experiences, clear my name, and support the words of my partner, who kindly defended me in his own statement.

tw: grooming mention(s)

my name is fox, referred to as "f", or as mick's partner. i will state that i did not know cheebs very well. she seems to present us as friends, when in reality, we were distant acquaintances at best. most of our interactions were short, either in brief chats about common interests or with my responses to her vents (which is important, and not something i will show here.)

sometime in late june of 2022, i took a glance back into an older server of mine. i hadn't been active in this server in over a year, and it was muted. i was completely unaware of cheeb's actions, of anything that had occured or been occurring between my partner and cheebs, so suddenly seeing message after message about "what a horrible person mick was" came as a complete shock. i do not have screenshots of a majority of these messages, as i noticed a common thread of her believing to be watched or stalked, and did not want to feed into it, even if she wasn't aware of my presence. however, a majority of them followed along the lines of mick "hating her oc", "hating her age regression", and "abandoning her like pink spinel was abandoned by white diamond."

the only screenshot i have is the one that would eventually push me to make a statement about my discomforts with her actions.i believe this speaks for itself.

i watched these comments slowly fill her channel for about a week, until i mustered up the balls to speak to my partner about it. he was… disappointed. to say the least. however, he showed me the proof he's shown you all in his document. i was floored that cheebs, someone who had been so sweet and silly, could say things like this, could lie like this. yet, it continued.

roughly a month after finding out, she would have a major breaking point, where she proceeded to tear into mick (behind his back, of course), about abandoning him. i will not show screenshots of this, as this is extremely personal to her. however, this is where i made my appearance, and where my section in her rant begins.

"snakes" (i will include all quotes in "this format")

cheebs begins this section by explaining what i explained above; the server was inactive and she used it as her ranting space, until i came in.

"However, I did not realize that the inactive people on there were actually snakes as well, when one day, P’s s/o, F (which i mentioned earlier) had suddenly became active, telling me to stop “shit-talking about P”."

i will admit my reappearance was sudden, as i had been lurking for a month at that point. however, this was sparked by her rant. i saw other server members attempting to calm her down, with her angrily telling them that this was her coping mechanism. i was incredibly upset, but worded myself as nicely as i could. i do not have screenshots of this message, but essentially told her that this behavior was unacceptable and incredibly difficult to witness. in response, she spoke to me as if i had never known her. she said that this reaction was because of her ptsd (which i will neither confirm nor deny; i am not any sort of mental health professional), and that this is how she copes. i can understand venting and ranting to get out emotion. but screaming in someone's personal channel, claiming how they abandoned you when they simply established new boundaries is Not It.

she also proceeded to tell me that she age regresses to cope, which "people seem to hate" (paraphrasing). this confused me. if we're such good friends, how did she not remember that i knew about her regression? that i never minded it? why would she talk down to me about a piece of information i already knew? i mentioned before that i would respond to her vents, and that many of our interactions were in vent chats. many of these vents occurred while she was regressed, and yet i still responded. if i had really hated her regression, why would i have done that, or shown her that kindness? these questions remain unanswered.

"I of course asked “who told you about this?” as this was quite telling that F was being a snake and someone was feeding them intel. F played stupid and said something about how nobody told them and was “only checking up on the server”. it was very, very suspicious to say the least."

I was never fed intel. ever. i came back to the server of my own volition, and out of complete chance noticed everything she was saying. a snake in the grass needs to know what it's striking at to be lethal, to be a danger. and yet i wasn't anything close to that.

rereading this part of her statement, even now, forms a pit in my stomach. i am not unused to being called stupid, to being seen as a liar. but to receive this treatment, these words from someone i barely know is a fucking insult. how dare you assume my character when you do not know me.

"Sometime later, F had posted a long rant saying that P “only wanted to move on” and basically mock me, telling me how I used P as a safe space (implying that safe spaces are a bad thing in general, which surprise! is actually an alt-right ideal!)."

The rant in question is this (mick is referred to as gil in this piece);

this rant was posted very early in the morning, before i left the server for good. i had no intention of sticking around to hear the response, i was done. however, i was later shown her responses to my statement.

(the censored section in the channel name is a past name / deadname)

in her response, she accuses me of not knowing about her struggles with a therapist. this is somewhat correct; i was aware that she was in the market for a new therapist, but not the issues she had with her therapist at the time. my point still stands; this should have been taken offline.

she also accuses me of ableism for "infantilizing her", as i restated mick's message of him "outgrowing" her / their friendship. this has nothing to do with her age, her autism, her age regression, none of it. you can outgrow something or someone at any age, it doesn't make the other thing "for babies" or the other person "a baby". you're simply moving on in life, finding new paths and new friends with them. people grow up and move on all the time; why is it such an issue when someone does it to cheebs?

she also briefly mentions how "mick wasn't my safe space", a statement she later uses against me. while she may not have considered mick himself her safe space, she absolutely considered their friendship one. keep in mind that he was her shoulder to lean on for four years. mick words this sentiment beautifully in his own statement: "F did not say that safe-spaces are a bad thing. F said that using someone four years younger than you as a receptacle for your problems is a bad thing." this was… exactly my point. as for me "repeating an alt right ideal"… can someone kindly point out where i said "safe spaces are bad and evil go fuck yourself", please?

"i thought were we friends!!" we weren't. i don't know you, dude.

"everything in here feels so manipulative and gaslighty", "…and basically mock me…" yet another blow. yet another chance to call me a liar and paint me as the evil villian in your sob story. all for attempting to explain my genuine feelings.

overall, my "rant", a message used to voice my genuine discomfort with the way cheebs was speaking out my partner, was used against me. the only thing she paid attention to were the last 3 sentences, the most "controversial" of the bunch, instead of the entire first few paragraphs where i explain myself and even emphasize with her struggles. rather than now being the "concerned boyfriend trying to voice his discomfort", i was now the "evil alt-right snake".

"The thing that made me so mad about F, however, is them weaponizing therapy, telling me to “deal with this with a professional”. I realized all this time later that if I did actually tell a therapist, they would ask me if I communicated with them about this whole mess (I did!) but only got silence in return."

telling someone they need help is not, and never will be, a "weaponization of therapy". cheebs is very clearly someone who needs professional help to properly deal with the emotions she's been going through. this was evident from her messages then, and it still evident from her consistent vents and vagues about all of us today. honestly, knowing now that she lied about her "communication" about her issues with the others involved makes this a bit… pathetic? you're lying about whether or not a therapist would help you, for christs sake.

"F had also treated me like an animal also saying “go to my dms and attack me there lol”. F had left P’s abandoned server right after. i immediately blocked F in case of them harassing me."

this is just common courtesy. if she wanted a private conversation i was willing to hear her out, maybe see if she'd explain everything. not to mention i never said "attack me", i said "scream at me or just chat." pretty big difference, at least to me. but no. in the end, rather than i treating her as an animal, she treated me like one; blocking me when i'd shown zero indication of wanting to continue this fight, treating me like the vicious snake she'd claim i was later on. i will say that i had a much angrier statement prepared for you, cheebs. i could have been a wholeeeee lot meaner. but i wasn't, because i recognized that you were in a fragile state. and yet, you still bit the hand that offered you grace.

other issues

i am also briefly mentioned in this statement; "Meanwhile on P's server, P had abandoned the server but was still present, as did their s/o (we will call F) and one of their friends. Even still on P's server, it still felt like I never existed. F and someone we'll call Dream (not the shitty minecraft guy) would always talk to each other, and I would join in too, but was basically ignored. One day, I asked why I would always be left out to F and Dream. Dream gave me an answer: "we just want our own space". This confused me because if I was on P's server and F and Dream wanted their own space, does this imply that I was no longer welcomed as a friend? I had a burning rage that was building up over time due to the fact that I was being mistreated and had enough, so I made my own server where I have my friends vibe all equally."

this supposedly takes place on mick's second server (the now-deleted one), where dream and i bonded and became very close friends. to be completely honest; i do not remember this happening. cheebs herself was not very active in this server, and was typically only active in the vent channels or her own personal channel. there are very few occasions where i really remember us speaking, and even then, those occasions were simply 1-2 messages at a time. our interactions were extremely limited because we didn't share many interests, and because i myself was shy and nervous around people i didn't regularly speak to. this on it's own isn't a bad thing, but she twists it to be that way.

considering her claims of me "weaponizing therapy against her", i believe that this was aimed (at least partially), towards me. and.. well, she's right! i've never been to therapy, because i do not have the resources, nor the emotional stability, nor the parental support for it. however, i know good and well that no therapist would ever give you "lying about your former moots" as a coping mechanism. no therapist would have you do any of the things you've done and said to us as a "coping mechanism".

additionally, i want to touch on this, specifically the last sentence. "I remembered the time P had said when I was being excluded a lot on how “exclusion is necessary for the comfort of others”, yet I did not know why I was being excluded. did they see me as a shadow of my racist, conservative mom? the fact that i have been actively fighting off the harmful things my mom had attempted to ingrain me for a very long time? unlearning these harmful things takes a very long time. it felt as if P compared me to a nazi, the very same people who sent my babcia to a camp in Poland, forced my dziadek to be a soldier for my people's oppressors (at the time) against his own will, and generational trauma from the horrors of the holocaust that are still felt in the family."

like the others who've commented on this before me, this sentence made my jaw stop, drop, and roll away. i can genuinely think of no other reason to include this rather than to throw a pity party for your family's trauma. i can throw that party too; i am also polish. my great-grandparents and grandparents faced the horrors of war and its aftermaths, my parents faced the horrors of the soviet union, and now i carry the burden of their struggles, their lessons, and their unaccomplished goals. nevertheless, i live my own life. you do too. and we both know that generational trauma has no leg to stand on in this situation. it has no influence here, aside from being used as a ploy for sympathy. surely, someone who wails about being "seen as a nazi" would understand the ramifications of claiming someone else is one too.

in conclusion this is probably the only time i will speak about this publicly, so i want to make the message as clear as i can.

cheebs. i have said it before, and i will say it again. seek. fucking. help. venting and ranting about everyone using our full names isn't coping. making up lies and spinning story after story, evil narrative after evil narrative about how the mean evil ex-moots hate you and want you dead… isn't coping. i can empathise with your paranoia of being watched wherever you go, of feeling like everyone hates you and secretly prays for your downfall. i have been through that as well. i am still currently going that as we speak. however, i cannot empathise with lying, with spreading misinformation every. single. chance. you get. my empathy has bounds, and those bounds have been long since crossed.

we may not have been friends, but i sure as hell know you're better than this.

[feverreaver]

I didn’t really get into ST until season four came out. I saw… two, maybe three episodes of the first season? And as is predictable for me, my attention wandered and I didn’t watch any more. As a side effect of this, I said I liked the show, but I was never involved in any fandom. Didn’t read any fanfiction of it, didn’t look for art, artists, blogs to follow. And since I mostly follow aesthetic boards on tumblr, I was entirely isolated out from ST fandom and all its trappings, both good and bad.

But then season four came out, and like many other people, I was immediately drawn in by Eddie. My friend and I watched season two - four over the course of a week. We both grew to like Eddie, sure, but ultimately it was Billy who drew me in, and eventually my friend, too.

I grew up in a broken home. My father was incredibly similar to Neil, and it’d be fair to say that I lashed out in ways very similar to Billy. And as can happen with abuse survivors— I internalized a lot of my father’s prejudices in a vein effort to protect myself; surely, if I became what he wanted, he would no longer hate or hurt me. That never turned out to be the case, but that’s a bit besides the point.

The point is, I nearly immediately sympathized with Billy. I had the benefit of being able to watch seasons two and three back to back. I got to see the things he did in season two, then almost immediately was provided the context for them in season three. It never occurred to me to hate him. How could I, when he resembles who I once was as an abuse survivor? Hell, how could anyone hate a teen who was clearly lashing out in pain, with no support system or care?

It never occurred to me, isolated as I was outside of the ST fandom, that Billy was a reviled character in at least some parts of fandom. Took me a bit by surprise when I finally dipped my toes in, honestly. A part of that may be because a fair amount of the fandom space watched season two without the immediate further context of season three. Even still, season two let us know, without question, Billy is abused.

Then Runaway Max came out, and it was another glimpse into just how badly he was.

Since watching two through four, I got to talk about the show and its characters with friends offline. We’re all in our late twenties to mid thirties-forties. About half were apathetic to Billy as a character; they thought he didn’t deserve what happened, but they weren’t upset when he was killed either, because he wasn’t their favorite. The other half was vehement that Billy was a tragedy, and deserved to have a home that cared for him, and people who loved him. None in this group hated him.

Online fandom is typically a younger space. And younger me was certainly more black and white in how I judged people. And the online fandom is in the habit of seeing Billy for older than who he is; they forget he was a teenager, barely out of high school— their age.

Maybe that’s why it makes sense that a lot of Billy fans are older. They remember that Billy was, in the end, an abused teen, lashing out in pain, and how young and fragile being eighteen actually is.

Billy deserved kindness from the adults in his life. At least he gets it from a good amount of the adults in fandom.

[aceofwhump]

A thought just occurred to me. I was looking through the Tumblr trending page today and saw "bisexual" was trending. I scrolled through and saw an interesting infographic on what % of LGBT adults identify as, like 58% bi, 1.3% ace or something, whatever.

I identify as asexual. Way back when, I thought I might be bi because I didn't know what asexual was and, as Jaiden Animations says: zero = zero. I guess I like both, but also neither at the same time?

Anyways, I kept scrolling down on "bisexual" and I start to see like sexy bunny drawings and half naked girls and blah blah. "Sex sells" is completely lost on me. The appeal of boobie pictures or muscular dudes is completely over my head, always has been. I think you, Ace, probably get what I'm talking about here. So, I keep scrolling past thinking "who cares about this shit, literally who would want to look at this? .... Well I guess according to that infographic, like 98.7% of people probably understand this sexy lady crap more than I do". Then I think "whatever, I'm going to go back and look at some whump. There are some LOTR gifs that Ace posted recently that come to mind as well as some super whumpy fanart in my likes. Good shit.

All of this to say: Is how I like to look at, read, watch whump kind of like how people like to look at sexy bunny art? Is "sex sells" kind of like how I watched all of Graceland because you posted a gif of Mike handcuffed on the bed going through withdrawal? I completely understand "whumperflies" I caught the whumperflies from a single gif enough to watch that entire show, which I had never even heard of until seeing that gif. I got completely sucked into the Sonic fandom because of a collection of screenshots of Sonic carrying Tails. It happened to me with Teen Wolf, Outlander, others? (Now that I think about it your blog got me to watch a bunch of shows I don't think I normally would, so thanks!)

Is this somewhat what allo folks experience? Is whumperflies akin to sexual attraction in a way? I do wonder and I never thought about it this way until today.... I'm curious of your thoughts on this, Ace?

I also know that a large chunk of the whump community also identifies under the asexual umbrella so if anyone else has opinion?

Hi nonny!

Lol yeah I too do not understand the sex sells thing in society. I look at commercials like that one Rally's burger one where it's just a half naked woman sitting on a car eating a burger and I'm like "how does this shit work on anyone? Why would this make anyone want to eat a burger??" It genuinely makes no sense to me. But this is actually a theory I've seen once before on here! That our interest in whump/whumperflies is our version of "sexual attraction" which is definitely very interesting. I can see the connection very easily and there definitely are a lot of similarities in the feelings. I do wonder if how we feel whumperflies is how allos feel when they experience sexual attraction but who knows lol. Personally in my brain the two things are separate and I like to keep them separate. I don't like thinking of my whumperflies or my interest in whump as a sort of replacement for sexual attraction. Just feels super weird to me to think of it that way. I don't feel sexual attraction so I don't know what that feels like but I do have a sex drive and feel arousal and it's never happened with anything related to whump and it feels physically different to me than my whumperflies so it's all been kept separate for me. Just my own feelings though!

The sex sells/whump gifs thing is SO INTERESTING! I never thought about that but yeah you're right! For us it's definitely "whump sells" and not "sex sells" lol. Nothing gets me to watch a show faster than a good whumpy gifset lol. Sex? Sexy poses? Absolutely nothing for me. Actually it's much more a turn off than anything. Whump? Hot damn sign me up. I'll watch the whole damn thing for whump. Sidenote I love that you watched all of Graceland because of my mass posting lol.

It's fascinating and a very interesting theory for sure! Totally okay if others feel differently. Like you said there are a lot of aspec whumpers so I think there's definitely something to the theory. I don't know though! Very interesting idea!

[carolrain]

Fic Origin Story

Thanks for the tag, @mostlyinthemorning!

What was your first fandom (reading and/or writing)?

Schitt’s Creek for both. I was vaguely aware that fanfic existed and had heard about AO3 winning an award, but it didn’t occur to me to look at it until I was starved for more Schitt’s Creek content and tumblr walked me over there and pointed at it.

Although in retrospect, I've realized that I was writing RPF about my friends, classmates, and teachers when I was 13-14. And I think some things I wrote in my twenties qualify as Flannery O’Connor fanfic.

What was the first story you ever wrote (even if it was never posted) and what made you decide to write it?

First story ever? I do not know. I began reading at three (my mother was a reading teacher and decided to bring out the flashcards and see what I could learn) and never looked back. I have poems that I wrote at four, and I moved on to stories as soon as I could manage a pencil.

When I started reading Schitt’s Creek fic, I was struck by the amnesia fics. I have always been interested in memory (dementia runs in my family and my grandmother’s dementia was a big presence during my teenage years) and it’s been a theme of my writing forever. So I read all the SC amnesia fics and started thinking, well, if I were to write about amnesia, I would . . .  I was still turning it over in my head a bit when Houdini posted the Periodic Table of Schitt’s Creek Fanfic. I saw all the writers’ names in the background and felt extremely envious. And I looked at the amnesia trope and thought, wow, there are really so few of those compared to all the others—there is definitely room for one more. So I started writing! And I . . . um, haven’t finished it. Feel free to yell at me.

What’s a piece of advice you would give to your younger fic-writing self?

Perhaps you should start small? Maybe if you’ve never written something more than a couple thousand words and you’re trying something new, you should just get something written and posted before taking on A Project.

But mostly I would tell my much younger writing self to just get some words written, to just keep writing about anything and keep gaining experience, not to get sidetracked by life and lose momentum. I would also say, Lovey, you have ADHD and maybe if you addressed that, this would all be a bit easier.

What’s an early fandom interaction that stuck with you (be it a nice comment, a friend you made, a fic that got a lot of feedback etc.)?

The first fic I commented on was “Fine”—I just felt like I had so much to say about it, so I pushed past my shyness and did it. And @walnuts-and-berries responded and seemed interested in actually talking about it to me! I was so nervous, but it was such a positive and pleasant interaction. So I thought, okay, well, I can do this, I know how to tell people what I like about their writing, and people seem to like to hear it. I felt like I could find a role for myself even though I wasn’t going to write my own fic (yet).

Post a sentence or two from one of your older fics, and a sentence or two from a newer one (if you want).

I don’t know if this is considered older or newer (let’s hope that when I look back in five years I classify it as older). The first complete thing I shared was a drabble on tumblr, but it was only a few months ago.

Patrick sits back and looks up. His husband is striking—dark hair, bright eyes, framed by a cloud.

I am so proud of that “framed by a cloud,” I can’t even tell you. I feel like maybe someone else wrote it and I accidentally stole it. If you want to praise me for it, it’s also on AO3 (and I swear, I’m going to respond to comments now that I have gotten over the shock that people have made them).

If you want hints about my amnesia fic, I have been good about tagging pieces of it here. If you want to yell at me, you can do it wherever you want. I can take it.

Tagging @lizzie-bennetdarcy @statueinthestone @chelle-68 @five678patty @ramonaflow

[raviosprovidence]

Hi, here's my experience. Buckle the fuck up, because you're getting part my life story and this post is incredibly dismissive

I was one of those kids. Identified as ace from around 13/14 to 18/19. Dates are a little off and a little fuzzy, due to me identifying as ace but not aro, having a private crisis as an adult, and then later officially casting off the label, but it was around 5-6 years.

I grew up as a very awkward kid who probably had some kind of neurodivergence and sought refuge on Tumblr. Yes, this opened me up to all sort of identities and taught me a great deal, but it also taught me "if you don't experience sexual attraction, you're ace!!" (same with romantic attraction) and i did! I was happy as aroace! I ignored all the naysayers saying i was too young. I didn't need romance in my life! Life was great! And besides, no one could have a crush on me and I could never feel that sort of rejection if I just didn't feel attraction. We'll come back to this later

ironically, while browsing for exclusionists to harass (yes, i was deep in ace discourse on instagram), I saw something that gave me pause: the idea of a late bloomer. This never occurred to me. I had already been a late bloomer developmentally, due to me not talking until I hit 4 years old, but i didn't know that sometimes, sexual attraction didn't hit until until one was in their late teens or early 20's. And even the concept that stress, weight, and other factors outside of one's direct control could have an impact on someone not feeling sexual or romantic attraction.

But I was 17 and thought I knew everything, so I disregarded that.

I ignored all those feelings I had where I'd get blushy around women. i would brush it off and say I was just admiring them. After all, couldn't I, as a woman, admire other women? Meanwhile, everyone online was encouraging me being ace, despite my friends in real life questioning my sexuality. My friends didn't know what they were talking about!

Until I had a crisis in college. I realized i did want a relationship! I wanted to have sex with women! I was just suppressing all of those feelings and covering them with an ace flag colored band aid. If I had actually wizened up and talked about this earlier, i could have identified as a lesbian WAY earlier than months before I turned 22.

So, you may ask, why was I hurt?

I closed myself off from dating. Ever, because I didn't feel that attraction. At the prime time when you're supposed to experiment with that. And further on, in college, while all my friends were dating and fucking, as someone who didn't even know their sexuality, I didn't want to hurt anyone by getting with someone while I wasn't attracted to them. I completely and utterly shut myself off from gaining experience during the very prime years when one typically gains experience. I don't think most of the people reblogging this understand how difficult it is to date when you have ZERO experience. It's hard on you/ It's hard on your potential partners. You will face challenges and hurdles most do not have to face, because they were out having fun while I had mentally decided since I'd never experience sexual attraction, I didn't need that

Seeing all your peers be leagues ahead of you in terms of romance/sex because you were an idiot 14-year-old who believed people on the internet is damaging, contrary to what you're saying. Could this have still happened even if I didn't identify as ace? Maybe, maybe not. But if I didn't, I could have worked through the issues that I refused to deal with due to identifying as ace (weight gain, internalized homophobia, etc.). Ironically, I had a friend go through something similar, but they were ace for a much shorter time than me and was able to have that experience during her teenage years. I'm happy it worked out for her.

This isn't wholly an ace problem. I recognize that. it's why I am very critical of labels and asking people why they identify as something (when it's appropriate, ofc. I don't go around asking people unprompted). People always give me shit when I tell them that you can absolutely use a label as a bandaid for your problems. Thats why it is important to ask questions and unpack shit. I do not doubt that asexuality is a real identity. I have met plenty of very happy ace people who understand themselves and still came away with that conclusion. But there is this idea that no sexual attraction = asexuality no matter what, when sexuality is a lot more complex than what you think. And if my story helps out some other kid in a similar situation, then it will have been worth it.

So yeah, OP. Maybe don't be dismissive of other people who have had similar experiences.

tbh it doesn't rly hurt teenagers to incorrectly id as ace like... what's the worst than could happen? they don't have sex till they're older?? lol

[reigning-kingof-ithaca]

I'm not in the fandom, so I don't really have a stake in this (I saw your post through the otherkin tag), but - FYI, it's considered very rude to put hate on a ship in that ship's tags. You're totally within your rights to feel weird about a ship, especially since it doesn't sound like you're like. actually trying to argue people should stop because you're uncomfortable with it (which /would/ be uncool), but putting that opinion directly in the spaces of people who enjoy the ships and AUs you're talking about is - it's like how disliking Twilight is fine, but walking into a Twilight fan club explicitly to insult Twilight would be rude as hell, y'feel? (Like - you said "if this makes it to the E:TM side of Tumblr somehow", but you then put the E:TM tags on it, thereby putting it in the E:TM side of Tumblr. That's how tags work.)

(Not personally mad or anything - like I said, I'm not even in the fandom, I don't really have a stake in this - but figured it'd probably be polite to let you know about a piece of fandom etiquette it seems you may not be familiar with before it *does* hit people it's likely to upset. If you are aware and this is a choice you made anyway, feel free to disregard. o7)

Aaa thank you for letting me know! I've never posted on here until recently, so it never occurred to me. I appreciate it!

[may-bonne]

Lmao I'd never give you a virus I prommy 👉👈 I found that site through another tumblr post ages ago

I'm gonna wait until I finish Bloodrayne to send another long anon with all my thoughts 🫀 But I will say that I want to put Katarin and Holga Kilgore in a room together. Have you ever seen either of the Machete movies? They're both dumb fun. The first is way better than the sequel imo though

SOMEBODY should have ripped that fake mustache off. Thinking about that one interview where Mrod talks about how bizarre filming that sex scene was for her. She says something like "Frank has a very different idea of that than I do" lol. Since that was definitely the first time he got laid without coughing up hit money first, I doubt he knew that you don't want a girl looking at you like that before you fuck

I'm hard pressed to think of a single decision made by any character that makes sense. By the end of the movie, it feels almost pointless? Nothing really changed. Frank came away with a dog and gender dysphoria. He shot a bunch of dudes like he always does. Got the revenge. But there should have been forgiveness for Johnnie. He couldn't bring himself to shoot her and for a cold blooded assassin, it feels like that should have gone somewhere more significant than just sending her away

"Buddies" activated the dog part of Frank's brain. He's like a sad street dog that got out of a shelter and won't let people approach him

Idk anything about writing a screenplay either so you won't hear any complaints from me. It sucks that the only other person I've seen that likes The Assignment doesn't have anon turned on. I found your blog through theirs though so can't complain

i want to watch machete!! resident evil is the next thing on my list but then i def will. i gotta finish season 2 of lost, too. i kind of go back and forth between mrod and jordana brewster and i'm really swinging back towards mitchie right now lol

in the interviews i read she said that to get into character she went on tinder as a man and i would fucking love to see what that profile looked like. (also this just occurred to me but i feel like frank should definitely be jerking off in the shower pre-op. i'm gonna go add that in right now)

frank has major runt-of-the-litter energy. i saw a post on here the other day that was like "he's got that abandoned shelter dog rizz. he looks like he wants to sit quietly beside you on the couch while you watch tv" and immediately thought of this pic:

very much frank's vibe. i want to towel him dry and pinch his nose until he stops trying to spit out his estradiol

mrod plays all these tough chicks and then i am immediately seized with visions of them rain-soaked and shivering with sweet little kitty ears. holga is the lone exception and i think it's because she's the only one of them who doesn't seem like she's on the verge of a massive sexuality crisis. i guess katarin's would be more along the lines of "my people need me! i can't fuck this vampire!" i would love to see her talk to holga. my personal dream is a d.e.b.s. sequel where mrod plays some kind of european villain doing that exact same accent. or she could just be a jersey mobster. i'm not picky

while we're exchanging mrod media i feel compelled to share this spoken word piece she posted on tumblr in 2014 because i feel everybody should know about it

this reply is already too long but whatevs i'm going to ramble about the rewrite now. i wrote dr. jane's big villain monologue yesterday and it was fun as hell. i've changed her motivation for doing the surgery on frank to wanting to prove that she was such an incredible surgeon that she could create an altered body so perfect it would triumph over the mind and he would eventually come to see himself as a woman. but she tells dr. galen she failed because frank was never a man in the first place insofar as he never formed any sense of self beyond being a killer so it was like trying to perform surgery on a gun. meanwhile we see frank slowly starting to realize other people have lives by clumsily expressing sympathy for prostitutes etc. i also had johnnie give him some ace bandages after watching him almost take his nips off with tape 'cause good lord. in the last scene he's in a sports bra. character development!!

i cut all the shakespeare and poe and just have her quoting the hippocratic corpus and stuff. i was talking to myself in the shower yesterday (in my dreams i am invited to appear on national television to share my opinions on mrod movies while america watches raptly) and had more thoughts about the literary allusions but i'll save those for later

also if you're talking about who i think you are, her mainblog is missin-you-already and she has anon on there! i haven't talked to her that much about the assignment, though, so i dunno if she has thoughts. although it's hard to imagine anyone wouldn't

[hauntingcryptids]

Prank War

Tennant!Doctor x Reader

Summary - After learning of the loss of The Doctor’s old friend, you try to cheer up your new friend.

Based On This Request -

Warnings - a slight innuendo towards the end, mentions of The Doctor’s trauma

Word Count - 1128

A/n - Gender Neutral Reader. Requested on my old Tumblr account by a lovely anon, just wanted to reupload it onto here. I hope that you enjoy it.

---------------------------------------------------------

The Doctor grew bored and angry one day after the events of The Year That Never Was. You had met him after that event and, even though you did suspect a stranger you met randomly who then revealed himself to be a time and space travelling alien to act abnormally, you were not accustomed to The Doctor’s constant mood swings. Even though he was an alien, you felt red flags go off and you knew that the two of you needed a change. You eventually demanded him to tell you why he was acting so strangely, or you would leave. With this threat, he revealed what he had experienced during The Year That Never Was and how he not only lost the only other remaining member of his people but also forced his previous travelling companion to leave because of his attitude. He apologised for his strange behaviour, but he explained that he worried that you would be overwhelmed by his life and leave him just like everyone else.

You gladly explained to him that you did not care about his past, you cared about his safety and mental health. You were unaware of anything that occurred to him, you just saw him suffering and you wished to help. He opened up more and more but still remained upset. The Doctor had taken you on some more adventures, but even after he revealed his secrets, he continued to be troubled by his past. You had a plan to cheer him up, however.

“A prank war?” You nodded cheerfully to The Doctor’s enquiry.

“Yep. It will cheer you up, sourpuss!”

“How is you randomly doing things to me, and my ship is supposed to cheer me up?”

“Because you will also get to randomly do things to me. That's the essence of a prank war until one of us taps out.” Eventually, The Doctor agreed after some convincing from the TARDIS saying that it would be healthy for him to have some proper fun.

The next couple of weeks had been riddled with an intense battle of pranks. You, frankly, did not think that The Doctor would be this great at pranks when you first suggested this, but, of course, The Doctor was a lot older than you and he could easily have extensive pranking knowledge that you would not have. 

One day, The Doctor put glitter in your shampoo, so you retaliated and put hair dye in his. It was a nice delight seeing a very serious Doctor in his brown and blue pinstriped suit paired with hot pink hair. The Doctor told his TARDIS to hide your room from you in the future. 

You then glued The Doctor’s fingers to the TARDIS console. The Doctor hid all of your clothes from you. You attacked The Doctor with silly string. The Doctor put slime in your shoes. You put worms in his spaghetti, and so on. 

Now The Doctor remained silent for the past couple of days causing you to sneak around the TARDIS. In a burst of bravery, you ventured out to the console room to see what The Doctor was up to. 

“Ahh, Y/N! Come here, please.” The Doctor said as soon as you entered the console room.

“Why?” You drew put your word, hesitant.

“Just come here.” He waved you over calmer than usual compared to how he acted on an adventure day.

“No! You’re going to do something, I know it!”

“No, I just want to talk to you.”

“What about?” You crossed your arms indignantly.

“Come here.” The Doctor whined. You sighed but relented to his demands and slowly walked over to where he was leaning against the TARDIS console. His arms were behind his back, and he was tapping his foot repeatedly. You stopped in front of The Doctor with a hop.

“I think that we should stop this prank battle, I’m a lot happier thanks to you.” The Doctor stated, surprising you.

“Are you calling a truce, Doctor? That means that I win the war.” You smirked at the idea, for a bit of time, you didn’t think that you would win because of The Doctor’s natural ability for pranking.

“Well, I think you are going to be the one to call a truce.” You glared suspiciously at The Doctor’s accusation and wondered why he had a growing smirk on his face.

“What are you ---” You were cut off by The Doctor pulling his water pistol out from behind him and began spraying you with the water. You tried to cover yourself with your arms, but The Doctor still managed to cover you in water from head to toe. It was apparently an alien water pistol. You eventually ended up falling into the TARDIS chair, calling for The Doctor to stop.

“Do you call ‘truce’?” You could hear the laughter in his voice.

“Yes, Doctor, you win! You win!” You screamed.

He pulled back and placed the water pistol back into his breast pocket, smirking down at you. The Doctor did that thing that you always found attractive, his little quirk of placing his tongue on the back of his top row of teeth when he smiled. You tried to remain disgruntled by your now ruined outfit, but you couldn’t stay mad at The Doctor when he made that face.

“Are you happy now, Doctor?” You tried to dab some of the water out of your shirt with a towel The TARDIS supplied for you. His smile widened before he clicked his tongue and winked at you.

“Of course, I’m happy! Can’t you tell?!” He stuck his hands into his pockets before rocking back and forth on the balls of his off-white, Converse-clad feet.

“Why was this a necessary way to win the prank battle? You grabbed another towel and wrapped it around your shoulders.

“Well, I was bored with the other pranks, and I wanted to end this in a fun way, and I thought that that was the point of this prank war, to prank and have fun. Also, you’re wearing a white shirt, I just couldn’t resist.” You looked down at your now completely soaked shirt, now see-through.

“I’m going to kill you.” You deadpanned and tried to glare at The Doctor again, but he was still grinning like a maniac, and you loved seeing him this happy.

“No you're not!” He exaggeratedly spoke, dramatically getting in your face.

“Now! Go get changed so we can go on an adventure!” You continued to glare as The Doctor circled the TARDIS console, pulling on his ear lobe while thinking of a place to take you. Eventually, you managed to drag your feet toward your room, mumbling along the way. 

“I’ll get you back, Doctor, one day. I swear.”

[nothingenoughao3]

I have been visited by royalty! Let me put the kettle on for you, @the-dr-herbert-west.

I appreciate that another theater person has picked up what I put down initially. However, I've seen posts going around about the Laid To Rest Allegations, and my thoughts were percolating before you showed up and made them boil over. I'm therefore doing this as a reblog to contain all my obsessive typing. I hope that's okay!

Every version of "Re-Animator" I acquired had subtitling, because I'm HOH, and every version rendered that line as "Laid to rest!". It never occurred to me that it could be anything else until I saw people circulating GIFs on Tumblr where he's seething out the line "Plagiarist!" instead. I was immediately on board with this line change, and just as disappointed as everybody else when it turned out I was right the first time.

Our collective struggle has to do with how this scene is structured. (This is the last time I ranted about this scene, and features a video clip of everything up to Hill talking sarcastically about looking at "his" discovery.)

Hill calls out West for stealing lab equipment. West calls out Hill for stealing his preferred title of "scientist". Hill straight-up says he wants to steal West's work for his own. The majority of Hill's dialogue after he 'mesmerizes' West focuses on plagiarizing West, and by extension, Gruber. (Who Hill was also accused of stealing from earlier in the film.)

Then Hill verbally structures his plan to plagiarize West, and then reiterates this plan indirectly with the "I--will be--famous!" line.

Their entire interaction is about theft and plagiarism. So when Herbert grits out a line that almost sounds like "Plagiarist!", we want this to be what he's saying. It's satisfying. It's a solid conclusion. It takes the throughline of all their dialogue, the spine of it, and caps it off (with, I guess, hipbones and a skull? I didn't think this metaphor through).

Unfortunately, what the writer(s) seemed to be going for was not a thematic capstone, but A Funny Peri-Mortem One-Liner. Which are, to be clear, cool and good! And apparently something to which West is susceptible!

Structurally, the "Laid to rest!" line is written about in the novelization as Herbert making a funny. He enjoys making 'private' jokes about the death and mayhem he causes and doesn't care if anybody else is laughing. In that sense, it's comparable to him going "Look out!" and cackling/wheezing at Dan's panic after they kill Rufus. As well as the cut line "He didn't have the guts" from BRIDE's script--he's making a pun, and laughing at his own pun, while Dan is having a meltdown about The Horrors.

For why it sounds like it does, and relating this back to the original post topic, Combs does something different with the line delivery here than he normally does in the film, which is gritting his teeth while saying it.

Gaze upon his jawline and his overall stance here in the morgue, where he's stage whispering and making a great duck face:

And contrast with this tragically-blurry moment where he's directly in the middle of delivering the "Laid to rest!" line:

The full-body tension is evident in the second shot. So is the shadow on his jawline revealing just how hard he's clenching his teeth/jaw. Broseph is putting his whole pussy into sounding like he's using a spade to cut off Hill's head.

If he were in a stage production, he wouldn't have done that, because you're right--there's no way the folks in the back could hear him properly. Much less a film audience! I can picture him, instead, biting out each word individually, perhaps wrenching the spade-handle to and fro with each word to really drive it home, and then cacklewheezing as Hill's head rolls away.

I assume he was directed to do what he did by Gordon because it looks better on camera and it emphasizes the physical struggle of the murder. Which it does. So, fair enough.

With all of that, it's pretty clear that West is saying "Laid to rest!" and always was, astronautwithagun dot jaypeg. But, no disrespect, it's really unsatisfying.

It's the least funny of his one-liners. It's coming at a really tense and plot-changing moment, and so is less likely to strike the audience as funny, even by accident. You can't half-ass a joke in these circumstances. It's gotta be good, and this ain't it, jefe. (Contrast with "Shaun of the Dead--which had great Peri- and Pre-Mortem One-Liners... until that one scene towards the end where they completely ditch the jokes.) Finally and importantly, it doesn't follow through with the theme of the scene, which is all about Hill stealing everything that isn't nailed down.

In short (too late for that!), we hear the line "Plagiarist!" because that's actually a better line.

So y'all know how Jeff Combs was doing a theater production which someone involved with Re-Animator saw him in, and how he's suggested that the character he played there influenced how he played Herbert West.

I relayed this to @andalusiapunk and they were like "Oh! That explains it! He's theater-acting!"

I am not an expert by any means, but I did misspend my teenage years in a magnet school as a theater student. I understood immediately what they meant by theater-acting and I'm mad I didn't come up with it.

A lot of this has to do with Herbert's overall physicality. We all love talking about how he's hyper-dramatic, right? How he moves in a particular way that is extremely precise and sharp and, to be on point, theatrical. How he spins the tape recorder in his hand; how he offers Meg's heart in BRIDE; how he fumbles or manipulates syringes in various scenes.

None of that's in the script and it's not necessarily justified by what's happening... unless you're trying to make sure the audience in the backass end of the theater can see you're holding something small, like a tape recorder or a syringe or a human heart. As I observed elsewhere, you can trick the audience into 'seeing' or 'hearing' things that aren't present onstage or screen if your body language insists on its reality.

And, not to get into super-nerdy film history, but: originally theater-acting and movie-acting were one and the same. Early films are blocked like plays, they have extended sequences without constant cutting between shots (like an audience watching a play), and the extremely clear, over-enunciation of a play-actor trying to make sure those poor bastards in the back can hear what they're saying. And like a play, all acting was heavily rehearsed and expected to hit the same points and produce the same results every time.

What changed this was Marlon Brando introducing the idea of improvisation into movie-acting, a choice which also led to a greater flexibility in movie-acting... including delivery of lines. A more "natural", verisimilitudinous delivery became acceptable for films. This doesn't make either style bad, to be clear: each serves its purpose.

Bruce Abbott (to name the most obvious example) is doing movie-acting. He's got some Protagonist Accent going for him, but he has a clear variety of tone and a great deal of subtlety with his facial expressions and delivery. The same goes for the rest of the cast, although David Gale kind of straddles the line between these two styles.

Herbert's delivery is pure theater-acting. When he and Dan invade the morgue, Dan is whispering--but Herbert is stage whispering, which is why he hisses so much. I've made jokes on here before about how Herbert was born on Skid Row in Little Shop of Horrors-verse, and he thinks he's supposed to be in a musical... and, you know, LSOH is a film based on a play, only in that movie, EVERYBODY is theater-acting.

Anyhow, lotta words to find a different way to compliment Combs and the rest of the REANI cast on their acting, because I live for sorcery enjoying these damn movies.

[teamironmanforever]

HIGHLIGHT TRANSLATION OF THE SPANISH DUB ACTOR GUILLERMO ROJAS

Guillermo Rojas - Spanish Dubbing actor for Dean since season 12 until 15x18 (he contracted Covid and was unable to record 15x19 or 15x20 - he has yet to record those) 

INTERVIEWER: “Memo (nickname for Guillermo), I am not sure if you knew, but you broke the internet” 

MEMO: “Yes, a lot of people sought me out when this happened. I am so sorry I wasn’t able to answer at length all of your questions, but I was right in the middle of dealing with Covid. I couldn’t speak without feeling like I was drowning. Right now I am going to (voice) therapy. While it is not too dreary, there are 2 continued effects, so I couldn’t answer everyone who contacted me through various ways - through FB, instagram and an old youtube channel that I haven’t used in years - with respect to the situation that occurred between Dean and his friend (Cas). 

MEMO: “We try to follow (our lines) in what we see of the acting. Remember that dubbing is something where we must make a parallel alignment in our own language. Under the guidelines given to us by the client, we try to expand on all possibilities and all the alignments and - as actors - they permit us to give 100% of ourselves. So there isn’t a limit per se, so long as you don’t go off track (from what was requested from the client)” 

INTERVIEWER: “What were the guidelines for the line that broke the internet” 

MEMO: “It’s curious because neither the director nor us the actors knew much about the tendency that existed. Because we didn’t have much previous information that suggested that something like this would happen. To be honest when we recorded it, we were asking wait what’s happening? I mean we did it, but no one knew this was coming neither in the production studio nor amongst the actors.” 

INTERVIEWER “I need to ask for a clarification here. I mean we are talking about the love declaration Cas made to Dean after 12 years of intense eye-contact. But the big question is Dean’s answer. Because EVERYONE heard in your voice that clear “And I you, Cas”

MEMO “And I you, yes.” 

INTERVIEWER “Where does that “And I you” come from? Was it you? What happened there?” 

“The adaptation came entirely from my director (Adrian Fogarty). He adapted it and gave us our acting guidelines, and I performed accordingly - I gave what he asked of me. We all loved it. We never saw it coming so overtly.... If you remember across all seasons, we rarely see Dean get involved with any women. It just didn’t happen, unlike his brother. He just never got involved. It wasn’t his thing, especially because we have his brother to compare him to. We saw (Sam) in a relationship in the past 2 seasons with Eileen which was a very intense relationship, and very painful in the end. Dean never had to suffer through that. They tied Dean’s pain to the loss of his mother since he lost her more than once.” 

FB question: “So It wasn’t a rogue translator, it was a rogue director”

MEMO: “Look, Fogarty has some really intense abilities and one of them is to adapt the dialogue. When you see him translate a script, when he has the time to do it - even when he is not the one directing - and he leaves it in Spanish. The dialogue said, if I remember correctly, “me too” or something like that and then we switched it to “and I you” due to effects of lip movement, rhythm, etc... We don’t all have the ability that Fogarty has, that speed which he has, to think and translate immediately. We are a team and we work together, and pool our collective abilities, and of course Fogarty does his part. You need a Fogarty in every company.” 

(The interviewer mentioned that her cat hates Sam Winchester and loves dubbed Dean’s voice). 

INTERVIEWER “Do you know what Dean said in the original script before Fogarty got his hands on it?”

“Yes, of course. It made allusions to that. (Fogarty) made the right translation. It said and so do I or me too or something like that. It said it in the (original) script.” 

INTERVIEWER: “When you heard the english version while you recorded yours, did you hear Dean say I love you too?” 

MEMO: “No. If I would have, I would have taken the earphone out and gone what the fuck? *laughs*” 

INTERVIEWER: “What was your favorite episode to film?” 

MEMO: “With my short-term memory, I would say this last one (15x18), because it says so much. In one scene, it says it all. It was impressive, and so beautiful. I never saw it coming.” 

Interviewer “Well you have broken tumblr again.” 

MEMO: “Okay *Laughs*. Well, that’s good. Thank you very much.” 

MEMO: “I think it’s clear to everyone that the fact that he (fogarty?) broke the internet, with this information was a surprise for everyone. Absolutely everyone. Because we all say that if someone wants to be a “real man” we have to be like Dean. In fact it’s something very beautiful for me because it has nothing to do with gender and everything to do with feelings. It was a play by the writers that was marvelous. You didn’t see it coming, but damn do you like it.” 

MEMO: “Nothing was left out of the translation... No I was not called to re-record the “and I you”. I have not been asked to remake the dubbing. My director perfectly understood the texture of the text.” 

INTERVIEWER “Do you know if Supernatural has a quality review for the dubbing through Warner Bros?” 

MEMO: “I would be lying to you if I said yes, but I have been working for WB (LatAM) for many years as both an actor and director. And there is some specific material where they do have “filters”, but with something like supernatural I doubt it. I would assume the one left in charge of all decisions was our director (Fogarty).” 

INTERVIEWER “Have you been interpreting Dean as in love with Castiel this entire time or was it a surprise for you?” 

MEMO: “No, never, it was a surprise. In fact, to be entirely honest, to my closest friends - of the same gender - I do use the phrase “te amo”. I don’t have any issues with that. So I actually thought it went that way - but then I found out it was romantic.” 

INTERVIEWER: “Guillermo, what is your opinion, of destiel now that you know the nature of their relationship.” 

“Well it was a revelation for everyone - including me. I love how they handled it because we didn’t see it coming. And I think, of our understanding of the character’s traits and psychology, we know that if someone knows how to repress their feelings, it’s Dean Winchester. *laughs*” 

INTERVIEWER: “What would you say to Cas if he came back from the empty?” 

MEMO: “He came back?! (he hasn’t seen 15x19 or x20)

INTERVIEWER: “No I am saying what would he say IF he did” 

MEMO: “Oh, okay. I was under the assumption that I said I loved him so long as he wasn’t planning on coming back! *laughs* Well if he returns I guess I would say “Hello, Cas”.  

INTERVIEWER: *Tells MEMO about the not for nothing cas but the last person who looked at me like that I got laid” 

MEMO: OKAAAAY *laughs* That was too much. *laughs* 

INTERVIEWER: Would you be this fandom’s Godfather? 

MEMO: But of course *smiles* This was a big thing, from what I see. 

INTERVIEWER: “What message would you give to the fans who are descovering the spanish dub?” 

“first, thanks a lot of being part of the mexican dubbing. We do this job with all the heart and all the passion that we have. And I think I speak for all involved in this industry. We are glad to note that there are so many people from other countries that are watching these new projects in another language. So I have no words but thanks a lot.” 

INTERVIWER: “What would be your ideal ending for Dean Winchester” 

MEMO “I think, for all of them, they have sacrificed their lives and that of their loved ones for the safety and well being of everyone else. I think if anyone deserves to be well, happy, and calm, at least it’s those three (Sam, Cas, and Dean).” 

INTERVIEWER: “What about jack?” 

MEMO “Jack did attach himself to them, but I think he could find happiness in another nest.” *laughs*