#neurological whump

[justkidneying]

Altered States of Consciousness

I'm going to discuss different types of consciousness, most of which result from brain injury, and I'll also talk about inaccuracies I see in writing. Before we start, I need to give some definitions.

Arousal: this isn't the sexual sort, this is the general term that encompasses forebrain activation and the peripheral physiology (heart rate, pupils, etc.).

Alertness: This is a cognitive state that is marked by forebrain cortical activation. You're typically more alert when focusing on a task. Activities that increase alertness don't necessarily increase arousal, but some can (I could ramble on forever, I love this kind of shit).

Awareness: This means that someone is aware of what's going on. They are aware of a stimulus, they understand that they are processing that stimulus, and they are aware of their output towards that stimulus.

Coma

This is a state of low arousal and low response. This person will have an absence of eye, verbal, and motor response. They also will not have a normal sleep-wake cycle, and will usually need respiratory support. Comas can be medically induced or be due to lesions of the reticular activating system (part of the brain that makes us stay alert) or both cerebral hemispheres.

Practical stuff: people in a coma can sometimes breathe on their own, but I've only seen coma patients with a breathing tube, so I feel like it's less common. Also, if someone is in this state, you should look in their eyes and see if they can move them when you tell them to. That way you know they're not just locked in.

Persistent vegetative state (unresponsive wakefulness)

This person has moderate arousal but low awareness. They'll do things, like respond to stimuli, move/open their eyes, grind their teeth, etc. They also don't need respiratory support. If this state lasts longer than a year, it is very unlikely they will ever return to normal. This state can be very difficult for loved ones, as the person seems there, but they really aren't aware, they are just awake but unconscious.

Practical stuff: the reason that this is such a big deal legally (like whether you should pull the plug or not) is because these people can occasionally look at an object, and that may be misinterpreted as recognition. So even though they are doing things, they don't know why or what is happening. It's pretty sad to see families of these patients, especially when they believe that the person will eventually "just wake up."

Minimally conscious state

This person also has moderate arousal, but will be intermittently aware. Occasionally, they will show external indications that they are conscious. This can be responses to instructions, gesturing, some language use or verbalization (words and even phrases), and recognition of objects. Recovery from this state is rare, but it is possible. It can also be a transitional state after a vegetative state.

Practical stuff: this is a newer condition (like the name for it), but is probably one of the more common altered consciousnesses I've seen in media. I'll get into its confusion with catatonia in a second, but they're very different. Anyway, I want to note that for this condition, the patient may say a person's name when they see them, or gesture that they want something, but this is a fluctuating state. Other times they'll be a vegetable.

Catatonic state

This person will appear unresponsive, and this condition is mostly associated with psychosis and schizophrenia. There is no structural brain damage, and there will be none of the pupil/reflex abnormalities seen in other conditions. There will be resistance to movement, such as eye opening and limb placement, that is described as "waxy." This means that the limb will have some resistance as you move it, but will get easier to bend as you go. The person may also stay in uncomfortable postures for a long period of time (catalepsy) and can be positioned that way. They may also perform repetitive motions or echo words that are spoken to them (it's honestly a bit freaky to see this sort of thing).

Practical stuff: the biggest thing is confusing this with minimal consciousness. Catatonic states are characterized usually by their waxiness and relation to psychosis. People who are minimally conscious will still do things, say things, and be somewhat aware. I think 90% of the time, that is what you're looking for. I think the reason we see everyone being catatonic is because saying "she was catatonic" makes sense to people and rolls off the tongue a little better than "she was in a minimally conscious state." So I doubt this will change any time soon, and I don't even care if it does. I just want everyone to know that they're wrong (lol).

Locked-in syndrome

So in this condition, the person is fully aroused and aware, exactly how they would be in a normal awake state. This is because their reticular activating system is intact (the system that allows us to be alert). However, they are completely paralyzed (except for their eyes - due to area of the brain that allows for eye opening and movement being somewhere else). These people are completely normal conscious, but they just cannot move their body (literally one of the worst things I can imagine). Their senses are also still intact. This can be due to a bilateral stroke and severing of the motor tracts in the pons. It is also permanent.

*Cool note: the book The Diving Bell and the Butterfly was written by a man with locked-in syndrome using his eye movements to dictate it letter by letter.

Writing Tips

The main thing I will say to both writers and clinicians, is to put down the actual symptoms the patient is experiencing, rather than trying to name it a specific thing. So you may say the patient has minimal eyes tracking, is aroused, and can say short phrases rather than saying the patient is in a minimally conscious state. Consciousness is a spectrum, so it's best just to say what the hell the actual patient in question is doing.

Also, dumb it down and lay it out (which works with a lot of medical conditions) because it's easier to write and understand, in my opinion. So don't say "she was catatonic" (because you'd be WRONG), but maybe describe how the character just mumbles words occasionally or sometimes reacts to someone in the room while other times they don't. But, if you wanted to have someone who was actually catatonic, maybe write some weird fucking scene where they can be moved but they'll stay in an awkward position for a while, instead of just saying they're in a catatonic state. Because that means nothing. Describe the signs and symptoms instead of labeling the disease.

I've been reading a book (like a random novel), and they'll say a character has some random medical condition, so I'll have to stop and look it up because even I don't know what it is. So, in my opinion, don't try to sound smart, just say what the fuck you're talking about.

Anyways, thanks for reading my post. I hope to have some more neuro stuff. Maybe I'll talk about the RAS eventually.

[weirdstrangeandawful]

TW: medical

So I got tentatively diagnosed with FND/conversion disorder last week which, to be honest, wasn’t unexpected since I’ve had many seizure-like episodes which are very likely psychogenic non-epileptic seizures. I also had an appointment with my surgeon today wherein she told me to ask my neurologist about how a relatively routine pelvic/abdominal surgery rendered me unable to walk for weeks.

If anyone has or knows about FND, do you know if it’s a symptom to just… be unable to walk sometimes? It kinda feels like my brain’s connection to my legs buffers occasionally like a video on a slow internet connection.

[nightmaretour]

Since people are actually following me for some reason, I thought I should probably make some kind of introductory post I guess.

I'm Zero, I'm a 27 year old visibly disabled trans man with a facial difference living in the UK, and a survivor of meningoencephalitis, septicaemia/sepsis, and a resulting stroke as a teen. I have multifocal right hemisphere brain damage resulting in hemiplegia (including facial paralysis), epilepsy, type 2 narcolepsy, mild anterograde amnesia, and other cognitive issues. I also have arthritis from septic damage, degenerative disc disease, and various mental health issues I'm still waiting for a concrete diagnosis on. I cannot mobilise without an aid (currently crutch and mobility scooter!) and have to live in sheltered housing. I'm open to questions as long as you are respectful.

I post a lot about disability, cripplepunk stuff, trans rights, general LGBTQ+ rights, anticapitalism, etc. A fair amount of what I post is NOT suitable for minors, I guess I can't stop you from following me but I'd really prefer you didn't. My blog runs on a queue, so that I don't spam everyone's feed every time I spend a couple of hours browsing when I don't have the energy for anything else.

I do have neurological problems and am on way more pain meds than one person should have in their body, so you have to be a little patient with me sometimes, my sentences don't always make sense on the first go and I misremember things sometimes. I appreciate it if you respectfully point out if I minced something. I can make my own judgements and form opinions just fine though, so fuck off if you're going to use it as an excuse to belittle and discredit me. Definitely don't just trust me on complex math though, I can barely read an analog clock.

Terfs/radfems, bigots of any kind, eugenics and genocide supporters or apologists, and radqueers (ESPECIALLY "transabled") please interact so I can block you. Forced birthers/anti-choicers, my posts are not and have never been for you, fuck off. If you whine to me about cripplepunk and physical disability spaces being "exclusionist", I will block you. Same if you cannot be respectful about facial differences, strokes, brain damage, visible disabilities, etc, with a zero tolerance policy. I will also most likely make fun of any and all of the above on my blog :)

I am not a free reference for your whump fic, nor am I a subject for your disability fetish. I block able bodied whump writers and disability fetish blogs on sight. No exceptions. Writers wanting to ask RESPECTFUL disability questions are free to do so (although I will not guarantee an answer) but my disabilities are not a fetishistic throwaway trope.

🍉🇵🇸I believe in a free Palestine! 🇵🇸🍉

I will not argue with or tolerate genocide supporters or apologists, my blog is not a safe space for any kind. You are not welcome here.

If any of my image posts are missing image descriptions, please let me know! I do try to add them when I remember but my brain has a very limited capacity, and often things slip through the cracks and disappear. People who make image descriptions I love you, I will paste them into the original post. Please also let me know if you spot any other accessibility issues, such as text not being screen reader friendly.

I also have an art blog over at @disharm0nious ! There's not much on it so far, since I'm dealing with a lot health-wise right now. I do a lot of work with textiles, including screen printing and making my own cross stitch patterns.

(Pfp is by @reflexicon!)

My common tags because Tumblr's blog search function is dogshit (please ignore this post if you're seeing it in these tags):

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hi, do you know some stories or rather a collection of stories that are retelling of the series but John and Sherlock are together since Study in pink? I want to read something like this so bad! Is there a tag for similar stories that I could use on AO3?

Hey Nonny!

Ooo, Uhhhhhhh best I can do immediately are these lists here:

Season 1 Fics

Pre-ASiP fics

Season 1 Fics Pt 2

TGG Related Fics

TGG: Pool Scene

And here are some Pilotverse fics:

Awake by greymantledlady (G, 2,178 w., 1 Ch. || Pilotverse || UAP ASiP Fix It, Dreams and Nightmares, Dreams vs. Reality, Hospital Love Confessions, Getting Together, Awkward John, Coma Dream, Sick Fic) – Pilotverse fix-it in which Sherlock is initially in a coma and the events of S1-4 are a kind of lucid dream. Also, hospital confessions, clearing the air, soft pilotverse Sherlock and John, and John Not Hitting Sherlock.

Ode To Joy : Sherlock Sonata no. 9 by Joaquinbumblebee24 (T, 6,221 w., 9 Ch. || UAP / Alternate Canon AU || Brain Injury, Vulnerable Sherlock, Sherlock is Lestrade's Son, Family Feels, Whump, Autistic Sherlock, Established Relationship) – While working a case in Cambridge, Sherlock Holmes got into a car accident that would change he and his family’s life forever. 

The Pilotverse by astudyinrose (E, 11,548+ w. across 2 works || Series WiP || Pilot AU || Frottage, Hand Jobs, First Kiss, Blow Jobs, BAMF John, Morning Sex, Protective John, Vulnerable Sherlock, Fingering, Rimming, Anal, Sleepy Kisses) – A series of one-shots set in the universe of the Sherlock Unaired Pilot.

The Hopes and Fears of all the Years by Joaquinbumblebee24 (T, 16,567 w., 11 Ch. || House MD Crossover || UAP Divergence, Illness, Medical Inaccuracies, Alternating POVs, POV House, POV John, Medical Professionals, Developing Relationship, Flashbacks, Sports References, Neurology/Neuroscience) – 27 years ago, House became the father of Sherlock Holmes. 27 years later, every father's worst nightmare came true when Sherlock's roommate, John Watson, called in the middle of the night to inform House that his son was ill.

Your Wish Is My Command by phipiohsum475 (M, 20,309 w., 9 Ch. || Omegaverse Pilot AU || Scents, Mating Cycles, Bonding, Alpha Mycroft, Omega John, Alpha Sherlock, Mentions of Mpreg, Mentions of Abortion, Self-Loathing) – The man who stood in the warehouse; he smelt as heady and invigorating as Sherlock, but without the sour, acidic taint. The waves rolled off the man, and John felt himself falter with near every step; the urge to kneel before him overwhelming. This was it; this was what the others described, the urge, the desire to submit, to be claimed. This is what they meant; how you knew when you found your mate. And John had no idea who this man was.

=====

If anyone has some fics that are more what Nonny is looking for, Please let us know!!

[whumpbump]

Nightmares

Gasping, Whumpee sat up in bed, clutching their chest as if their heart would jump out of it. This was the third time this week, and it was Tuesday. Waiting for their heart rate to settle and their breathing to slow, they hung their feet over the side of their bed and slowly pulled themself up. They poured themself a glass of water and got comfortable in the armchair.

The sun peeked through the blinds and Whumpee woke to the smell of eggs and toast. Jumping up, they realized they’d spent another night in the armchair. Their head was spinning.

Taking a long swig of water, Whumpee hoped their dizziness was attributed to the lack of sleep and water.

Making their way to the kitchen, Whumpee’s headache got worse.

“Hey! I’m making dippy eggs and toast! Are you- uh are you ok?”

Whumpee, now feeling sweaty, headache getting worse, lifted their eyes from the floor to try and meet Caretaker’s but as they did, they fell to the floor, head ping-ponging off the table, chair, and then floor.

Lights. They were in Whumpee’s eyes. Why, why was it so bright?

“-umpee? Whumpee, can you hear me?”

Shading their eyes from the light and trying to sit up, the world spun. They laid back down.

Whumpee’s hand was pulled away from their eyes by the paramedics.

“Let me look in your eyes.”

Their head was killing them. The light did not help. They were woozy and just wanted to sleep.

“Concussion. I’m sure of it. Congratulations my friend, you’ve earned yourself a trip to the ER.”

Whumpee allowed themself to be maneuvered onto the gurney and patiently sat in the emergency room with Caretaker.

Their eyes slipped closed. The lack of sleep and concussion were getting to them. Plus, no one likes fluorescent lights.

As they let sleep overtake them, they were shaken awake by a worried Caretaker.

“The paramedics said I can’t let you sleep until we see what the doctor says.”

Squinting angrily, Whumpee huffed and adjusted their blanket.

Waiting for what seemed like forever, a doctor looking rather rushed, entered the room.

Prodding Whumpee here and there, they checked Whumpee for neurological damage.

“When I rub your arm on this side, does it feel the same on this side?”

“Huh?” Whumpee was needing things to be said slowly and repeated.

“When I run your left arm here, does it feel the same when I rub your right arm in the same spot?”

“Um. I think so?”

The doctor asked so many questions and Whumpee was getting tired.

Turning to Caretaker, the doctor shared their concerns. “Definitely a concussion, I don’t like how tired they are. I think I want to do something imaging.”

Speaking up, Whumpee quietly told the doctor about the nightmares.

Nodding, the doctor asked “How much sleep have you had in the past week?”

Thinking hard, they weren’t able to come up with an answer.

“I can give you something to relax you before you sleep, but you’ve got to sleep to get better.”

Whumpe sighed. They wanted to sleep so bad.

“Can I sleep now?”

“I still want imaging but until we get you there, I’d rather you didn’t. Just to be safe.”

Resigning to their fate of wakefulness, Whumpee rubbed the bump on their head from where they’d hit it on the table.

[snaillamp]

Do u have any ideas for whump?

So many and not enough time :(

I have a bunch of oc stuff lined up and won’t even bother starting my leader whump stuff again until it’s done. My wips are getting ahead of me and I don’t want any of them to die

If you have a request I can and will write a little short story for you or anyone!

Thanks for the ask these are gonna get me through my neurology lectures :))))))))))))

[theres-whump-in-that-nebula]

Neurological Sci-Fi Whump

- Whumper uses a mind-reading device on Whumpee when they refuse to answer questions and it leaves them with long-term brain fog

- Passing out after making telepathic contact with a vastly-intelligent alien because of being exposed to a flood of images and other information humans aren’t meant to be able to receive (or just because it’s scary) ST: PIC season one, anyone?

- Multiple parasites or demons with conflicting interests take over Whumpee’s mind, making their body contort in ways it should not

- Nausea, headaches, and dizziness caused by low-gravity conditions in space (the brain floats up in the skull, causing pressure to be placed on it). Source

- Concussions in the aforementioned low-gravity environment and all their horrible complications 👀👀👀👀

- Alien Whumpee losing a sense after an injury to an organ (Like Shran when he got his antenna chopped off with a bat’leth; he lost his sense of balance which ended up making him fall and impale his leg on an icicle 😬 god I love Enterprise… so many people got their legs impaled in that djdjdjdjdjskdjdjsk)

- Alien that slowly feeds off the brain, making Whumpee behave more and more erratically until they die (bonus points if everyone around them notices something is Very Wrong… Also consider the possibilities for emotional whump)

[shion-yu]

Ears Ringing

Cliff can't afford his meds and can't keep anything down anymore. My fill for my @badthingshappenbingo space "Ears Ringing." OC work, 2,816 words. TWs parental abuse, emeto, chronic illness whump, detailed hospital descriptions.

For years now. Cliff's neurological symptoms have been all over the place. Sometimes he's eloquent and polite, echoes of his former brilliance shining through. Other times he can't remember the names of simple objects or can't stop crying. Sometimes he walks fine, and then the next day he needs his wheelchair. It's inconsistent, frustratingly so, and Cliff can't stand it.

He's depressed. He knows he's depressed, but he can't do anything about it because he's already taking antidepressants and he's scared if he says anything they'll stick him in the psych ward. Phoenix always used to tell him he was crazy, and Cliff worries he is. He sees shadows in the corners of his eyes all the time and hears people in the apartment that aren't there. One time Elliot catches him with a knife in his hand in the middle of the night hunting for some unknown threat. It's bad, really bad. He's never hallucinated before but he is now nearly every day. It’s getting increasingly difficult for him to tell the difference between what’s real and what’s not.

Bothering other people with his problems is the last thing Cliff wants to do. Elliot's busy writing his album with Alex, Moira’s got her baby and Matt’s in law school. So Cliff's alone a lot of the time, which he doesn’t really mind but sometimes it’s easier for him to pretend everything is fine when he has someone else to pretend for. He dropped out of law school a year ago and he still hasn't figured out an alternative career path. He tutors people online to take the LSAT, which is enough to pay the rent on his tiny condemned apartment, but that's all. He can't take Elliot out and treat him because it seems his parents have washed their hands of him and he can barely keep up with the copays on all his medications. His parents haven't officially disowned him - yet - but when they found out he dropped out of law school they stopped sending him monthly support checks. 

Cliff's started halving his pills to make them last longer, and the first to go completely are the antidepressants and anxiety meds. After that he cuts out the ones that he knows don't necessarily keep him alive, just feeling better: the antiemetics and pain medications. Eventually all the ones that were giving him any sort of quality of life are gone, but he's still sort of okay until he starts running out of his steroids: it's when he starts halving his prednisone that the hallucinations begin.

He's spending more days in bed feeling sick than not at this point. He doesn't leave the apartment and Elliot seems to be getting increasingly worried despite Cliff's best efforts to put on a good show. He's losing weight by the day and he's vomiting nearly everything he eats up. Elliot tries to coax food into him but it's not working. Even Cliff's favorite Japanese and Chinese comfort foods cause him misery, so it's certainly not a matter of taste. At least he saves money not having to buy groceries. 

Cliff had promised Elliot that he'd never hide this stuff from him again back when they broke up. So he doesn't hide it and he never lies, but he tries to sound casual when he answers like it's not a big deal. If Elliot asks, Cliff admits that he's not feeling well, or that he's nauseous. Elliot starts keeping a journal of Cliff's intake and instances of vomiting, then realizes there's no way Cliff's actually retaining any nutrients. He makes Cliff an appointment with a GI specialist, but the wait is four months out. Elliot is worried Cliff can't wait that long and tries to convince Cliff to go to the emergency room, or at least tell his father and see if he'll order some tests, but Cliff refuses. He promised to communicate with Elliot, not anyone else. Lucky for Cliff, Elliot never seems to think to ask him about bills or voices that aren't there. And his dad is drinking again, so Cliff doesn’t bother talking to him.

It comes to a head when Elliot can't get a hold of Cliff. Their relationship is still young despite all of their history, it feels fragile, and Cliff isn't answering his phone. Elliot worries Cliff's withdrawing and doesn't really want to be in a relationship, but he can't bring himself to think that's true so easily. So he breaks into Cliff's apartment for answers and finds Cliff passed out on the bathroom floor soaked in piss and vomit. He doesn’t respond when Elliot shakes him and shouts his name, but at least he’s breathing. Elliot calls 911.

Cliff doesn't wake up on the ambulance ride to the hospital. Elliot's glad for that because he doesn't want how scared he feels to come out as anger. The scene is eerily familiar to how Elliot had found Cliff on the floor of their dorm room all those years ago, but Elliot tells himself it's not the same. He'll at least give Cliff the chance to explain why it isn't. Still, why hadn't Cliff told him how much he was struggling? He could have reached out and Elliot would have been over there to take care of him in a heartbeat.

"I didn't want you to worry," Cliff mumbled when he wakes up, before lurching forward and dry heaving into the emesis basin Elliot's holding. He has a high fever and Elliot thinks now's not the time to yell at him for being foolish. "I really thought I could manage," Cliff says through a single sob. Elliot's heart clenches in pity. Cliff's never known how to rely on other people thanks to his parents. Elliot wants Cliff to rely on him, but it's not something he can force. 

The doctors come in and ask if Cliff's been taking his medications as prescribed, especially the steroids. Their expressions are almost accusatory and Elliot doesn't understand why until Cliff looks down, face clearly ashamed. "Cliff, why not? Do you want to die?" Elliot asks, aghast.

His heart breaks when he hears Cliff whisper in the tiniest voice, "I couldn't afford them anymore." Elliot's still upset and worried, but suddenly he understands. Cliff starts crying; Elliot holds him close and tells him it's going to be alright, that they'll figure it out. He'll help Cliff pay for his meds as much as he can. When Shu comes by with food for Elliot he offers to let Cliff live with him for a while, in Alex's old bedroom. There's options. But right now, Cliff needs to focus on getting better.

The doctors tell them that Cliff's body went into shock from stopping his prednisone too quickly. He's lucky he's not in a coma. Not only that, but the granulomas on his lungs have grown and he has new ones on his brain. Does he have headaches, they ask him? Fatigue? Hallucinations? Cliff can't bring himself to look up as he answers yes to all of them. Has he ever fainted? Had a seizure? Cliff looks at Elliot for just a second, chest burning with shame. "I think I had one before Elliot found me."

After the doctors leave, grim faced and what Cliff feels is painfully judgemental, Elliot rubs Cliff’s back as Cliff begins to gasp for air and tears stream down his face. Elliot knows Cliff’s having a panic attack and tries to get him through it. “It’s gonna be okay, Cliffy,” he says sadly. “Talk to me.”

“I never lied to you, I swear,” Cliff says. Elliot feels his own eyes fill with tears.

“I know, shh,” Elliot soothes. “I wish you would have told me, but I know you didn’t lie. You’re going to get better and this is never gonna happen again.” Cliff just cries harder until he vomits. Elliot helps him shower while the nurse changes the sheets; it’s not how he had imagined their first time showering together after getting back together might go, but he’d rather be here than Cliff be alone right now.

Cliff's woefully underweight. His nausea is so bad that he can’t keep any oral medications down, either. They force an NG tube into him, which is one of the worst things Elliot's ever witnessed. He has to stand in the hall after the first failed attempt because it's so disturbing. It looks more like torture than treatment. Eventually they get it in and start the tube feeding, but the response isn't what’s expected. They haven't even brought it up to goal rate when Cliff begins projectile vomiting the tube feed all over like the fucking exorcist. The vomit makes him choke and he coughs the NG up less than twenty-four hours after they managed to get it down. Elliot holds him while he sobs and apologizes over and over. 

"I'm sorry," he cries, "I tried to keep it down, I really did." He's distraught and Elliot does his best to comfort Cliff, but he feels like there's so little he can do. He’s never seen Cliff cry this much and it’s breaking his heart.

As a result of the failed feeding tube, Cliff gets more tests and is diagnosed with gastroparesis: paralysis of the stomach. It could be temporary or it could be forever, they say. There's no way of knowing right now, but it explains why he hasn't been able to keep food down for a while. He needs a J-tube that will bypass his stomach to give him nutrition, and he gets that surgery two days later. 

The pain is unbearable. It takes days to get it under control despite finding no issues with the actual J-tube placement. Some people are just very sensitive to surgical pain and Cliff is unlucky enough to be one of them. He's so beat down by then that he just lies in bed clutching a pillow to his abdomen and sobs openly. Nothing really comforts him and Elliot doesn't know what to do. This is scary and he feels like he can't handle it on his own. Milo and his mom give him some support, but it's weird when neither of them are fans of Cliff to begin with. Shu and Alex come by to give Elliot a break sometimes. They sit with Cliff while Elliot takes a much needed rest at home where he can shower and scream in frustration a few times. 

It feels like whenever things start getting better for Cliff, some new aspect of his illness appears and they start over from the beginning. Elliot carries a certain level of regret that he wasn't there when Cliff was first diagnosed. Maybe if he was, he could have fought for Cliff to get diagnosed sooner. Maybe he could have protected Cliff from his father more. He tries to now, when Dr. Barrows comes not to help but to yell at Cliff for being so stupid as to stop taking his steroids. "Were you trying to kill yourself?" He snarls at Cliff, who shrinks back and can't answer. "Are you trying to humiliate me?" 

"Maybe if you guys spent just a tiny bit of your fortune on keeping your own freaking son alive, he wouldn't have to ration out his meds," Elliot spits at him. He doesn't care that Cliff's father is a famous surgeon. He's left his only son to struggle all by himself because of circumstances Cliff can't control, and so to Elliot he's the shittiest quack out there. 

"I don't remember Cliff ever asking us for help," Dr. Barrows points out coolly. Elliot can't argue with that. He doesn't know for sure, but it certainly wouldn’t surprise him if Cliff hadn't said anything to his parents. Even if they would have helped, who could blame Cliff when this was his dad? "And who the hell are you?"

"He's my boyfriend," Cliff says weakly. Something inside of Elliot is mended then. Cliff, who was once too scared to tell even a random passerby that they were together, is telling his father. Then, another piece of Elliot breaks when he watches Dr. Barrows cuff the side of Cliff's head with such force that Cliff's oxygen falls off. 

Cliff yelps in pain and grips his ear in shock, ears ringing. Elliot's horrified and frozen. Who the hell hits their own son while they're in a hospital bed? The pungent smell of whiskey probably has something to do with it. "You are not my son," he hisses venomously, then leaves. His hatred lingers in the air just as strong as the smell of booze. 

"Sorry," Cliff says after several seconds of awkward silence, breaking the spell. 

Elliot shakes his head as he jolts back to reality and rushes to Cliff's side, looping Cliff's oxygen back over his ears. He hugs Cliff close, shaking with anger. "There's no reason to be sorry," he insists. "The only person who should be sorry is your dad for being such a shitty person." Cliff flinches at Elliot's strong reaction, but he knows it's not directed towards him.

“Yeah,” Cliff says uncomfortably. “I guess. Thanks.”

It takes two weeks, but eventually Cliff is discharged: into the care of Elliot and the home of Shu, because the social worker says it’s not a very safe idea for him to live alone. Cliff hates feeling like he requires a round the clock babysitter, but he knows they’re right. He can’t walk more than a few steps and that’s with a walker, he’s not steady enough to use his crutches right now. Cliff promises he’ll keep quiet and not cause any problems, but Shu tells him that he should make himself feel at home. It’s a small two bedroom and Shu can’t help much monetarily, but he promises a safe and comfortable place where there’s always enough food on the table (figuratively, since Cliff doesn’t eat anymore). It’s what he promised Alex when he adopted him, Shu says, and he can promise Cliff that too now.

No matter how much he dislikes needing the help, being in Shu’s home makes a world of difference. It’s warm and homey there and Cliff likes how he can see into the backyard from the kitchen table. There’s a bird feeder and a swingset back there, which Shu says was from the prior owner but he never removed because he had wanted kids someday. Alex was twelve when he came to live with Shu, so a bit old for it, but Cliff imagines him there anyways. Elliot and Alex are around all the time since Shu’s garage doubles as their music studio, and sometimes Cliff bundles under blankets and watches them practice. Sometimes Alex’s boyfriend Ryo is there and he watches too. Elliot drives Cliff back and forth to doctors appointments, PT and OT in the same old car they used to have so much fun in back in college. He finds every co-pay assistance program available for Cliff to utilize, but then money starts appearing in Cliff’s bank account again every month from his parents. Elliot thinks maybe his words couldn’t do much, but they apparently did something. Well, his words combined with Moira giving their father absolute hell when she found out what happened.

It’ll be Christmas soon. There’s snow on the ground and the cardinals that visit Shu’s bird feeder look so lovely and bold against the white. Cliff’s sitting in Shu’s kitchen watching them as Elliot brews tea. “Can I tell you something?” Cliff says.

“Of course. Anything,” Elliot says, carrying a steaming mug over and placing it on the kitchen table. He sits next to Cliff and leans his cheek in his hand. His green eyes are so lovely, Cliff thinks to himself. 

“I miss living together,” Cliff admits. Elliot looks surprised, but then nods.

“I miss it too.”

“Living here reminds me of when we visited that cabin upstate, all the way back in freshman year,” Cliff says. “That was the best vacation ever.”

“Seriously?” Elliot asks, smirking a little. “Even though we both had terrible head colds and spent the entire weekend in bed?”

“Yeah,” Cliff said, smiling fondly. “It felt like a real home, for the first time in my life.”

Elliot stands and hugs Cliff, planting a kiss on his temple. “I’m not sure when we’ll move in together, but we can definitely go on vacation again,” he says honestly. He doesn’t want to rush things this time, like he felt like they had the first time around. 

Cliff nods. “I’d like that.”

Elliot rests the side of his head against the top of Cliff’s head. “You keep getting better and then we can go, deal? Maybe sometime after Christmas.” Cliff hums easily in agreement. He’ll keep working hard to get stronger so they can do the fun stuff they used to do together as soon as possible.

[ao3feed-piltovers-finest]

The Loss of Control

by Anonymous

“Okay, lovely. You’re also getting really stiff,” Caitlyn informs, like it’s just a matter of fact. Like it’s not something that’s sending her into a panic. “I think we should get you on the ground, just in case. What do you think?”

Vi’s eyes shoot open again, and she begins to groan more than speak. But Caitlyn can make out the woman saying, “No, no, no!”

--

OR

Vi developed epilepsy from fighting in the pits. She has a seizure right before her and Caitlyn can get down to business. Caitlyn struggles with their new reality.

Words: 3696, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Arcane: League of Legends (Cartoon 2021)

Rating: Not Rated

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: F/F

Characters: Caitlyn (League of Legends), Vi (League of Legends)

Relationships: Caitlyn/Vi (League of Legends)

Additional Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Epilepsy, Seizures, Hurt Vi (League of Legends), Vi Whump (League of Legends), Whump, Smut, Foreplay, Aftercare, Caitlyn Needs a Hug (League of Legends), Vi Needs a Hug (League of Legends), Neurological Disorders, Disabled Character

Read on A03. from AO3 works tagged ‘Caitlyn/Vi (League of Legends)’

[androcola]

More mike bad mental health whump 🙏

mikes ptsd started to develop as early as 14 years old and it was extremely terrifying and confusing for him, as around this time he was also starting puberty so there was a lot of stress and changes that really took a toll on him very early.

his anxiety however developed much earlier, at only 10 years old, and became severe pretty fast. he would constantly complain to his mom about an upset stomach before going somewhere like school or church, and had a tendency to just randomly throw up in public. his mom just thought he had a sensitive stomach or maybe was getting stomach bugs a lot. he became very timid and sometimes would break down crying in public from stress and anxiety and was very clingy to his mom, never wanting to be out of her sight for a second. he developed terrible separation anxiety

mikes first panic attack was at only 12 years old and he had it at school alone in the boys bathroom because that was the only place he could find that was empty at the time.he came out in tears, sobbing to tne teacher to let him go home and that he thought he was dying, but the teacher didn't let him go home unfortunately and he spent the whole day just crying at random times. it got him made fun of a lot.

eventually his mental health struggles really started getting in the way at school and he spent more time in detention than in the class room for panic attacks, meltdowns or outbursts.

his depression soon followed his anxiety at 12 years old and it was very noticable to his mother. suddenly he just stopped playing the way he used to. when he was little, he liked to run around the neighborhood and hop fences and just go around exploring. he stopped doing that. he would sit alone in his room on his weekends from school. sometimes she'd find him curled up on the floor crying his eyes out, or just lying in bed doing absolutely nothing.

she tried to say something to his father, but he didn't care. he just essentially said he was faking it all for attention and to stop coddling him.

when he wasn't lying in bed completely apathetic and lethargic, he was having panic attacks or strange episodes. his mother didn't know what to do with him. it all only worsened as he got older. he started heavily abusing alcohol to cope, but it didn't do much more him after a while

as he got older, the kids at school really just got meaner but also smarter. they'd catch on to the things that seemed to trigger these episodes in him and so they would purposefully try to trigger him as a means of torment, and also to get him to lash out and then tell the teachers. it really was a living hell for him and it was miracle that he just barely made it thru highschool

but even after highschool, he would be tracked down and tormented by some of the guys who were always purposefully targeting him. they all knew something was wrong with him, mentally and obviously neurologically. they knew him as the crazy kid, the freak of the school, and they'd continue to pick on him even after they were all out of school for good. usually finding him in town while he would be running errands or just out for a walk. they knew just what got under his skin and into his head

it all caused him to develop such a terrible paranoia that he became borderline agoraphobic. he would often have to be Thrown outside just to get out for a while. despite living in such an abusive home, he had become so terrified of the outside as well that he was just screwed one way or the other. either his dad would torment him inside, or those boys would find him on the outside and torment him. it drove him nearly insane

sensitive under the cut

his suicide attempt in 1967 wasn't even his first. he had quite a few back home, but he either never got the strength to follow thru, or when he did, he'd screw it up somehow and just wouldnt be successful. the only relief he ever got from the torment and abuse he suffered on a regular basis was if he'd manage to get so black out drunk that he'd either just forget who he was, or that he would just pass out and sleep for several hour

[brainrotlesbian]

Rare whump moments in cartoons

A lot of the media I like is animated, and as such, there’s not many whumpy moments in such cartoons or movies, but there are some good moments in them, so here is a non-comprehensive list of pretty good whumpy moments in my good Christian (/j) child cartoons:

True Colors (season 2 episode 20 of Amphibia). Not really until the last five minutes of the episode, but it’s well worth it. Sasha and Anne find out Marcy’s lied to and manipulated them, and also that King Andrias has done the same (not really whump but it adds to it I swear), Sprig is thrown out of a window. From a flying castle that’s nearly a mile above ground. Marcy is stabbed through the abdomen with a flaming sword and with her last conscious moments she apologizes then collapses to the ground presumed dead.

A Bug’s Life (idk the last 30 minutes?) Yeah, you read that right. A Bug’s Life. When Flik is beaten by Hopper. Good shit, good shit. The bruises, the groaning in pain, the attempting to push himself onto his feet only for his strength to fail and he falls down into the ground? Beautiful

Save The Cat (season 5 episode idk 2 or 3 of She-ra 2018). Yeah I know I said I don’t really like lady whump but like this is lesbian angst so it’s fine with me. I’m also a huge sucker for brainwashing/mind control especially when paired with said brainwashed person forced to fight a loved one

Yunan and Olivia (season 3 episode 7 of Amphibia). Holy mother of god I was not expecting that level of whump from the silly frog show. The screaming from Marcy as she’s digitally possessed by the core? Horrifying. Haunts my dreams. Oh and also there’s illusions of the three characters’ biggest traumas/fears/regrets and it’s great. If y’all thought True Colors was bad, you were right, but Yunan and Olivia is worse

The Mortis Arc of the Clone Wars (season 3) Yeah it’s kinda cheating to put an entire arc but like c’mon. 1. Lore about the nature of the force and the prophecy and the chosen one and 2. We had two different fights between the trio with one who was possessed (sorta) (Ahsoka vs Anakin and Obi Wan, then Anakin vs Obi Wan). Does this really count as whump? Ehhhh kinda sorta it’s more angst but whatever

I forgot the name of this episode but it’s some time in DuckTales 2017 season 2. Oh yeah. Fucking DuckTales. Donald gets captured by the moon people (it’s kinda funny they have this unique muzzle/gag thing they slap over his bill and he literally does not say an intelligible word until it’s blown off from an anger outburst). After discovering General Lunaris’s plan to invade earth and kill the triplets, he launches back to earth… only to end up on a deserted island for months without contact with the outside world. He kinda goes a little nuts once the family finds him

ROTTMNT movie. That’s it. The whole damn movie. Leo has the living shit beaten out of him. Raph is possessed. Everyone almost dies

The Bad Batch arc of the Clone Wars season 7. Again, cheating, I know, but holy hell, the arc around rescuing Echo and they find him half-dead, emaciated, white as a sheet, and connected neurologically to the computer system so the Separatists can search his memories for republic strategies? That’s good shit. It leaves a lot up to the imagination as to what, exactly, Echo went through.

Season 2 episode I forgot of Gravity Falls: when Dipper gets possessed by Bill. Not the whumpiest but still ok, especially at the end when he’s like “ohhh everything hurts” cause Bill wore his body out

[justkidneying]

A Few Neurotoxins

To talk about how these work and how they differ, I need to give a run-down on how a neuron fires (trust me, it'll be brief). So to generate an action potential (fancy name for neurons firing) you have to move ions around (K+ and Na+). At resting potential (about -70mV), there's a lot of K in the cell and a lot of Na outside the cell.

To do a thing, you need to make the inside more positive. So, you open the Na channels in the cell membrane, allowing the positive ions into the cell (down their concentration gradient) and the voltage will shoot up (to like, 40mV). Then, the Na channels will close and the K channels will open. K fucks off outside the cell (according to concentration gradient), and the loss of the positive ion will cause the voltage to decrease. Eventually, the potential of the cell will become less than the resting potential, the K channels will close, and then you reach the normal resting state.

Tetrodotoxin (TTX)

This is a potent sodium channel blocker. This means that you can't enter the rising phase of action potentials. The voltage will always be too negative. TTX is found in a couple different marine animals (like pufferfish), and in the blue-ring octopus and moon snail (no idea what the hell that is). The most important one here is the pufferfish, as people eat that (TTX is in the fish's organs, not meat). If it is eaten in small amounts, it causes tingling and numbness of the mouth. In large amounts, it causes limb weakness, flaccid paralysis, cardiac arrest, and respiratory failure (due to paralysis of the diaphragm). Symptoms onset can vary from immediate to about 15 minutes. TTX is about 25x as toxic as cyanide.

Saxitoxin (STX)

This also blocks sodium channels, and is found inn mussels, clams, and oysters. It causes paralytic shellfish poisoning. It has similar symptoms as with TTX, with flaccid paralysis and respiratory failure. It is EXTREMELY toxic, about 1500x times as cyanide when ingested. STX can also be aerosolized, and has been researched by the U.S. military in the past for bioweapon purposes.

α-dendrotoxin (α-DTX)

This one is actually a potent potassium channel blocker. This means that the voltage can't decrease and return to resting potential. Therefore, you get extended action potentials and excitability of neurons. This causes seizures, affects cardiac function, and damages the hippocampus (brain damage). It's found in the venom of the Green Mamba snake. which you can actually buy online (it's really expensive tho).

[weirdstrangeandawful]

How is it that doctors are allowed to write prescriptions that are near-illegible to even pharmacists but I have to type this up for my GP because she wouldn't read any of it if I gave it to her as is?

Image description: A lined notebook page listing a timeline of symptoms in cursive handwriting. A hand is holding the page open.

[builder051]

Whumpmas in July 2024 day 13: Niche whump tags

Ok, confession here: I don’t read a lot of fic. After my most recent neurological event, I’ve become extremely forgetful, and reading is actually kind of difficult. Writing is easier. I have no clue as to why.

I used to read fanfic, absolutely obsessively. Between ages 12-24 I would put the protocol into Google searches so it would search a single term on a single site with certain other words deleted…

I no longer have the shortcut memorized. I could probably look it up, but I’ve since learned the AO3 filtering system, and I can prioritize certain tags.

My faves are:

James “Bucky” Barnes

Captain America

Daredevil

Marvel cinematic universe

Vomiting

Sick

Sickfic

Illness & injury

Gore

Angst

Trauma

Flashbacks

Panic attack

Blacklisted tags (things that squick me out):

Overeating

Stuffing

Belly kink

Snz kink

I’m sure there are more in both categories, but that’s what I can think of today. I usually feature at least a few of them in my stories as well. I guess I’m not all that adventurous. I just like what I like, and I read and write for my own pleasure.

[secretbloodloss]

Categories of whump content that I personally enjoy (and why)

Characters who are generally strong and self reliant being stabbed/injured and needing to be cared for—recently I realized this is a trauma thing. I mean, not totally, I also just enjoy the romance (not necessarily romantic romance) of it all. But also as someone who as a kid often thought “would you love me and be soft with me if I was really sick?” I like to daydream about being taken care of without having to ask or feel bad about it.

Characters getting dizzy—yeah this is a disability thing. I have this neurological disability that makes me dizzy frequently, ranging from uncomfortable but hideable to literally cannot walk. And I love giving this to characters but with more immediate and life threatening reasoning because for the longest time I had no good reason for feeling weak and delicate and bad when I should be capable

Blood and blood loss—this one is just hot ok

[steelandblood]

I feel like anything research and hospital labs do could be twisted into some type of whump. I work in a hospital lab as well but I’m not part of the research side. Just specimen processing and testing, and inpatient phlebotomy. I would love to go into the research side though.

What got you into the profession?

Honestly already since middle school I knew that I wanted to go into neurology, specifically psychiatry because I always found this field fascinating, like how electrical and chemical signals translate into our entire personality and behavior. And I knew that I did NOT want to deal with patients, so research it was.

So the moment I finished my mandatory army service I started my bachelor's in biomedical science, and now I'm finishing the first year of my master's.