#nervous for so many reasons
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There's this charity polo match in Windsor next month that my mate Percy's foundation organizes.
#rwrb#rwrbedit#red white and royal blue#alex x henry#alex claremont diaz#henry fox mountchristen windsor#firstprince#userninz#userveronika#usersteen#chrissiewatts#usernuria#userlang#usermaloune#userclara#mine*#im utterly obsessed with this scene for so many reasons#alexs slightly heartbroken face in the 4th one as if his invite is about to be recinded and wont be able to see him#and then henry just turns around and is a dick about it ajkfks#i love how awkward but sincere but nervous this whole interaction is#alSO how nick lowers his voice hnnggg#the last one...i see u henry i see u
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Party of one (divided into four)
#Fourfold Soul#Thing#QUIT#Ruth#Jolis#Finally I can offer some character names!#digital art#I have been hard at work in the character design mines for nearly two months.#I feel like a parent watching my child waddle off to kindergarten....ah...only yesterday you were a wee little mspaint sketch.#The title of 'Fourfold Soul' comes from the 'party' for this RPG being comprised of parts of yourself!#They all have a delightful array of personalities; and by delightful I do mean 'They are personal demons for a reason'.#It's a story about fighting alongside (and against) 'difficult' aspects of yourself.#This is also a story about redemption and reflection. Many other things too - but that is for another time.#(The clown pictured here is indeed the ignored clown from the last comic. Say hello to Jolis!)#If I had more time I would have added more animation and frames...next time...#I'm slowly getting back into my animation practice and experimentation. I will get more powerful! I promise!#Thank you all so much for all the love and support you have shown this project so far!#I was terribly nervous about posting the previous comic...the kindness it was met with meant a lot B'*)
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IT'S OCTOBER!!!!
I have no idea what's happening out there, I'm living in this isolated semi offline bubble to avoid spoilers and it's killing me, but WE'LL BE PLAYING THE NEXT DRAGON AGE *THIS* MONTH. AFTER TEN. WHOLE. YEARS. HOW FUCKING CRAZY IS THAT. IT STILL DOESN'T FEEL REEEAL.
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#it has been such a long journey...#I can't believe we're here#I'm sorry I swear I have not abandoned this place 😂#it's just that fandom space and internet in general right now is.. a lot#and there are so many voices and opinions and.... I just want to play this game lol#I'm too old and too tired#it's a miracle we're getting this#maybe I'm just too easily pleased and I have my fair share of criticism but.. I'm just so happy it's real and singleplayer story-focused..#if things like anthem and jedi fallen order didn't happen the way they did we would've gotten a *very* different game#and there are a few other very personal reasons why this game means so much to me..#so yeah.. I'm just happy and excited and nervous and emotional 🥹🥹🥹#ONE MONTH
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#hi im j here 2 talk . saw this cow yday so i drew her and now u get 2 say hi#but omffgg my gd i dont know if any of u relate but i feel like my ability to socialize w others#specifically online and speciifically in interest-circles has gotten so much harder for no reason whatsoever#like im just becoming more self conscious ab how i portray myself and its so weird bc like . LIKEE I DONT KNOW like . ok#people r super njce . always super nice and reach out to me and talk w me or i reach out first and they respond and r soo sweet#and something happens in my brain where like . i feel like im suddenly like . inserting myself where i dont belong (not true) but why am i#the bus driver all of a sudden . in all of these situations . me when i just show up like hey#i think i j feel annoying >__< . and i dont want to bother other people but said people r literally never bothered ykwim like Will Reach Out#and im the one that pulls back but 4 no reason . i cant even think ab why i do that .why am i doing this 🧨#so many ppl i want to genuinely befriend in all of these spaces but im self sabotaging soo frwaking bad#literally rn thinking of some dms i left on read bc i panicked or mutuals ive talked w before who im nervous 2 be familiar w . hrmm#anyways . i kind of wish i had the ability 2 just talk to new people and not actually gaf ab the outcome#HELPP .. early tmblr or wcf or devart where u have thirty million friends 2 now where u r too scared 2 say hi to an almost friend .#me problem though . if not alr clear HEJAHHAAHA i think part of my reluctance also stems from the fact that i know i get this way#and so i dont want 2 rope someone else into that insecurity so i try to keep it at an arms length until i fix it#but i think i also know its a longer & more introspective thing to work on so i do need to just try anyways
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casual roxy doodle to break my hiatus
#roxanne wolf#fnaf fanart#fnaf security breach#roxanne wolf fanart#five nights at freddy's#five nights at freddy's security breach#im bad at poses srry#sorry i never draw i just have so many other hobbies and am nervous to share my art here for some reason#im not a specific security breach fan i just love her design
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Pretty clothes for you! ✨ (Patreon)
#My art#Solanaceae#Satine#Ahh!!! Even with this one being done I'm still so nervous about it somehow!! Haha ♪#It's been so so soooo long since I've participated in an Event that I've forgotten everything I've ever learned or done in one haha#But yes! This is an event piece! DCS put out an art call and I wanted to join and I'm very glad I did! :D#I would consider myself a very casual fan of Solanaceae like it's been way too long since I've reread in earnest but I like to stop by#Lovely art and characters and interesting movement and feelings and problems everyone runs into it's quite cool :D#Satine is probably my favourite of the bunch even if it has been too long since I've properly caught up with everyone!!#I remember always feelings very positive and like - mixed-love? They're complex in a way that I really like#Ahh all the more reason to catch up again! So I can properly express how I feel about Satine /now/ not just partially remembered haha#I'm also just generally a fan of DCS' art style and passion and ah <3#I don't think I've mentioned it anywhere but DCS was one of my Very Big - maybe even Main inspirations to make VargasLovingHours#And then I also get to draw their pretty lad in Satine! Yes!!#I have a lot to feel thankful for inspiration-wise haha ♥#This was a fun outfit to design :D I really wanted Satine to feel pretty 'cause they are!#A kind of cool pink and scalloping I will always choose scalloping if there is an option for scalloping to be chosen#And I got to bring back a bit of the rainbow-opal look I used for Winter King a bit back as well! :D#And mirrors and sparklies and just - yes! Many good and fun things!!#I do think it's a bit funny since those were supposed to be thought bubbles but then I just - forgot to make the little bubble tails lol#Remembered them on the flowers! But not the thought bubbles! Haha oh well ♪#Does not diminish the cutes or the pretties ♫
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anyone else into poly pairings?
i wanna draw some pmmm poly ship art and was wondering if anybody would be interested in seeing it :0
#madoka magica#pmmm#puella magi madoka magica#sayaka miki#kyouko sakura#madoka kaname#mami tomoe#homura akemi#mdhm#kyosaya#ive seen so many ppl dog on poly pairings for no reason#which is why im asking#just a lil nervous bc im putting myself out there a bit more
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I love Wonder Woman very much and I love her potential to explore themes of truth’s different meanings and violence against women and what it means for trauma to be passed on or processed in different circumstances but unfortunately all this potential is snubbed by her support of the military vis a vis her solider boyfriend and her origins as a character designed to encourage women to join the war effort. I think if you wanted to give her story real impact and meaning this would have to be completely removed and as such I long for a universe where Etta and the Holliday Girls are an internationally touring band and Steve is their loser friend who manages the finance and Diana follows them all around as the friend who can’t hold an apartment
#dc#my new story Wonder Woman goes couch surfing#which iirc already happened in the 80s but still#the internationally touring aspect would still give her stories a reason to be global instead of connected to a particular city#and would place Etta more centrally in the story I feel like a lot of WW comics aren’t sure what to do with her#and I think it would be fun and whimsical.. imagine Diana sneaking around to prevent#some sort of sinister sabotage at a music festival while Etta is performing onstage and trying to give her clues as to#where to go next and what to do.. classic funny#I have many ideas for this sort of WW rewrite but a lot of them are so divorced from the source material via#the ground up wiping of Steve’s backstory and character so I get nervous about sharing them LOL#Wonder Woman
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hi evie !! how have you been ? :33 i hope you dont mind me borrowing you and moze for something ehehe <3
#🐦⬛🐕 .#彡 nick!#彡 inbox.#evie.ss#omg good morning nick! my stomach literally twisted and flipped seeing this /pos /POS /the most positive gut wrenching feeling in existence#NICK AND THE REASON WAS ? WHY DO U NOT HAVE A KOFI LINK WHERE IS IT …. THIS ISNT OK I NEED TO FIND IT???? U CANNOT BE … BE …. BE UM … YOU K#I NEED TO 😭😭😭 I NEED ….. IS IT OBVIOUSLY IM CRYING WRITING THINSSJSJSN /pos /ULTRA POS THIS IS SO CUTE UR ART IS SOOOO AWESME IM SO IN AWE😭#typos: obvious* <- & barrier* -> amazing work evie#i broke the sound banner with the screech i made seeing this …. YOU … YOU DREW ME … THE EXACT WAY ….. I .. ITS SO SPOT ON I ????? I … IM#FLABBERGASTED . SHELL SHOCKED . GOBSMACKED IM SO OBSESSED WITH HOW U DID MY HAIR …. THIS IS EXACTLY HOW I DO MY HAID … AND THE CURLS ARE LI#LIKE THAT… IM SO OBSESSED WITH UR STYLE JSJSJJD HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I SAID IT???? UR STYLE IS MMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!! 1000/1000!!!!!! in specif#the colors … the colors are gorgeous and sooo nice to gaze at … the little wings … HOW DID YOU KNOW I LIKE- IM SO . (hugs knees and cries#YOU DREW THAT DRESS AWESOME-LY …. IM GENUINELY LOSING MY MIND AND I HAVENG EVEN .. looked at *him* ….. nick …. im complimenting it and i#can’t even see rn HEJSJCKCNITS BLURRY 😭😭 my head hurts so bad from sobbing but ive never been happier /pos IM SO ???? I LOVE HOW U DREW ME#i went to go triple check for the kofilink and found myself browsing through puppetgear tag once again u^u JENDNDKXJ oh my god . PLEASEEEEE#ok…. moze … he’s … so tiny .. he’s so cute … he looks so grumpy :’) /pos AND YOU .. u captured his squishable look omg….. he’s so teeny he’#literally as big as a fingernail on my phone im :’) HES POCKET SIZED I CANT BELIEVE U DID THIS /pos /ETERNALLY GRATEFUL#WHY 😭😭😭😭😭 YOURE SO KIND IM SO . IM SITTING ON THE FLOOR OF MY ROOM SNIFFLING AND HICCUPING AHENDNJXKC AND STARING AT THIS OF COUESE#i just saw the ask 😭 i definitely don’t mind im literally on my hands and knees to thank you and it’s still not enough JSNSNDNMC i have to#dig a dent in the hole and bow inside the hole …… it’s not enough … i genuinely love every square inch of this JSNDNXN i just adore … how u#did me … how u did moze (so— everything) even the circle in the background is a color that i adore 😞😞 sniffle …..#what a treat to see moze in ur style 😭😭 what a HUGE . Nice . AMAZING. TREAT . he looks so good in ur style UGH I WANNA FLOAT AWAY#the physical reaction i had in my stomach & head is unmatched /pos …. it’s vaguely similar to when u get called on in class while nervous .#and ur stomach flips .. but in a positive / EVSTATIC / insanely happy way … thank you so much omfg (link?) (please?) you are so kind ….#i don’t even know how to convey my gratefulness so im resorting to crying-staring-crying-staring-crying#(cries)#oh i never answered ur question haha :’) yea im great! :’) and you? :’)#im gonna put this in queue >/////< URK IM SO …. THANK U NICK ))))))):::: (link perhap?)#edit: OHHHH I SEE HOW U DID MY HAIR COLOR!!!!! that is so cool hello? it’s black- but not? and it fits so perfectly!!!! THAT IS SOO COOL WJ#NO WONDER I WAS ADMIRING THE COLORS EARLIER THIS IS SUCH A COOL THING (nonartist tries to explain how neat something is) NSNDNXKK
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uh yeah also heres something i drew awhile back...im sure it isnt super original or anything but uhh au where asriel dies and chara doesnt, ironically. they want to save asriel from dying which causes their soul to return to their body and they even die, but determination shenanigans. anyway its too late and he crumbles to dust in charas arms with toriel and asgore watching. unfortunate!
#uh idk if i should even tag this cause its so sketch-like#chara#asriel#undertale#undertale au#chara dreemurr#asriel dreemurr#i guess thats enough#i drew this like two months ago but was too scared to post it tbh#i get nervous about having au ideas for some reason even tho i have so many#.png
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#ok finally making a post about meds#I've not ever tried taking medication before. I was sorta raised with that classic 'dont rely on meds you have to learn to manage without'#I mean I was also raised with the idea that therapy is stupid unless you have 'real' trauma. and also like idk.#can't stay home from school unless your temp is over 100 or you're throwing up. etc. very suck it up mindset#so I was just really nervous to start. also of course worried about losing myself or whatever I know that's a silly fear but#it's also a common fear for a reason!!! anyways#so I finally was like 'I need to do something' when I realized I was so anxious I couldnt even get myself to go outside alone#like I just don't want to do ANYTHING alone to a detrimental effect. and it was butting into my ability to do my work...#for various reasons. but then ALSO adhd has been a constant issue with my work as well!#it is SO hard to write and draw on a weekly pace like I am without being able to focus#my whole life I've had these terrible nightmares constantly and I've always woken up constantly in the night#sleep has always been terrible so I've always dreaded going to bed.. ESPECIALLy because it didnt even make me less tired#it was more something that I just did because I had to.#but going to bed was always terrible. there have been times I was too scared to go to sleep for weeks on end...#I've been mitigating this for years of course. and recently I've been taking melatonin which has been helping too.#but I've also always struggled to get up. because I've always been EXTREMELY exhausted#but also anxious of what the day might bring... idk.#anyways it has all hit a point that I was like okay. I am doing as many coping mechanisms as I can. the psych said they were good too#but... it just has never been enough. it's never been enough to make me not tired it's never been enough to make me not scared#so I finally talked to the doc about it. and she was like youve def got smth wrong basically. which yah I know.. but yknow#anyways so I started taking wellbutrin. and I am so frustrated now. because it's WORKING#that constant looming sense of dread is gone. I'm excited to get up. I'm excited to go to bed BECAUSE I'm excited to get up#I feel like for years I've been holding on to the idea that I have to get up because I have to put something good out into the world#and I've been clinging to knowing that if nothing else. I am able to help other people feel better.#but now for the first time in my life I'm like. free of it. I didnt even know it was possible... and I'm so sad how much I've lost out on#and so frustrated how my whole life I've been told to put up with it and push through it. and treated like a failure for it being too much.#and just. It has only been 2 weeks. but the lack of anxiety is SO noticeable I'm so...#I'll never miss it. the adhd is still pretty present but like whatever. I can manage that better.#and I'm just crying because of all this combined.#I just. I hope I get to finally be the best I can be now. for myself but also for you guys!
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#14 - Partner
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☕ Buy me coffee ☕
#yey the awaited name reveal#Agni means fire. i chose it bc it's close to the name Agnis while also being ironic#as you can see on the first panel he doesn't use firefish to heal because he no longer has it with him#and he did use those years between S1 and S2 to learn to be a medic to compensate for it since he wants to be useful for Grace#his lighthouse is special because he tied a contract with administrator so that it has an ability to heal#although not as potent as firefish. and it requires his control and knowledge instead of instant healing#the other reason why he wears many layers of clothing is because he's constantly frigid from being an ice user. thus the irony#anyway Grace and Bam has the same nervous tick if you noticed#also thats a pocket btw. not shinsu orb#tower of god#tog#two sides of the same coin comic#my comic#my art#bam#baam#25th baam#25th bam#the 25th baam#the 25th bam#jue viole grace#khun#koon#khun a.a#khun aguero agnis#khunbam#koonbaam#bamxkhun
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submitting horror stories to watcher with anon off
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#watcher#i was so nervous for no reason like there ain't a fandom url shielding me#anyways fuck yeah too many spirits#too many spirits#ryan bergara#shane madej#steven lim#my story was def too long for selection tho. formative experience of my life
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The fact that I'm supposed to be doing something right now and all I can think about is KYLE ADAMS' GRANTAIRE AND HOW I WAS TOO SCARED TO GO SAY HI TO HIM AFTER THE SHOW BUT I NEED HIM TO KNOW THAT HIS GRANTAIRE WAS THE HIGHLIGHT OF MY TIME IN THE LES MIS FANDOM AND I COULD NOT STOP WATCHING HIM THE ENTIRE SHOW
I need him to know
Later edit cuz I was tired when I wrote this: Kyle Adams plays Grantaire exactly how I imagined him in the brick and listening to the songs. He's that good
#im totally normal about grantaire#i love grantaire so much#actually my favorite character#just#*screams*#when you have a cynic#and he dies with a believer#i cant#its just so#literally cannot put it into words#and ya know i love hadley fraser as Grantaire#but kylie adams was just so amazing at it#its been a while since i went to the show and i am not normal about this#been in a very les mis mood recently too#les miserables#les mis#grantaire#les amis#les amis de l'abc#theres a reason my les mis book fell in half right where they introduced grantaire#i read that part too many times#dang i met a few other actors too after the show but was too nervous to talk to him#im actually kinda upset about that#kyle adams#if i could be in any show or any play as wny character i would want to be grantaire#hes just so amazing
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decided to mash @wisecrackingeric-2’s & @vizishereig’s requests into 1 for conveniences sake. hope that’s ok (^^)b
51 & 54 (washing each other’s hair & running hands through hair) from this list
ship: serennedy
Leon is exhausted, anyone can see that. From the way he holds himself — tense with his shoulders hunched in what only can be described as uncomfortable — to the dark smudges under his eyes. He looks ready to collapse, but for whatever reason won’t let himself.
“Rough mission, mi amor?” Luis asks, making his presence known before enveloping Leon in his arms.
Leon just hums, body going almost lax in the embrace. “Nobody died,” he mutters, a less direct way of saying ‘it could’ve been worse’. Luis presses a kiss into Leon’s temple, hands rubbing down his sides.
“You’re a mess,” he observes, no hint of judgment in his tone. “Let me take care of you.”
…
The shower stings Leon’s cuts, but he forces himself to swallow it down. The water is a muddy brown swirling down the drain, dried blood and dirt making a sickening cocktail pooled beneath him, caked onto his skin and finally getting the chance to wash off.
“The water feel alright?” is what pulls Leon from his thoughts, looking up to find Luis smiling down at him, lathering his hands in shampoo. He forces himself to nod, slouching back down against the tub’s wall.
“Yeah,” Leon murmurs, fighting to keep his eyes open. “Thank you.”
Luis doesn’t respond, ducking down instead to run his soapy hands through Leon’s hair. He hums, scratching gently at Leon’s scalp as he works in the shampoo. He doesn’t miss the way Leon’s head tilts up to meet his hand, eyes drooping shut in an expression of pure bliss.
“Pobrecito,” Luis coos, to which Leon makes a show of rolling his eyes. Deep down however, they both know he secretly loves the gentle treatment. “You poor thing,” he translates, fingers working out any tangles. “You’ll work yourself to death at this rate, and that’s coming from me, cariño.”
Leon just huffs, head tilted back and shoulders finally loose. He could stay like this forever, he thinks. He lets himself be taken care of like that, turning into putty in Luis’ hands. It’s not long before Leon finds himself drifting off, fighting ever so slightly to stay conscious, to feel Luis’ hands on him a little while longer.
It would’ve taken a much stronger man than Leon to succeed, however, soon finding himself half asleep in Luis’ embrace, fingers combing through his still damp hair. Using the last of his waking strength he wraps himself tighter, face buried in Luis’ chest.
“Love you,” he grumbles, voice barely audible.
“I love you too, mi amor.”
#serennedy#serrennedy#why are there so many fucking spellings for this ship bro#i’ll be honest i’ve never actually done one of these prompts b4#so i’m a liiitle nervous abt how this turns out but i think it’ll be okay#i’m not super happy with this but it’s ok#it’s called practice for a reason(ˆ_ˆ)#my writing#fanfiction#resident evil fanfiction#resident evil#leon kennedy#leon s kennedy#luis serra#luis serra navarro
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coworker was going on and on about the importance of regulating your nervous system today and i'm thinking 1) you don't know what that means and 2) if i were a teenager and someone told me to regulate my nervous system i would start throwing things. frankly it's hard not to throw things when hearing that as an adult.
#and i'm being the bad guy saying no actually that's not something we can recommend without issue because that will be 'controversial'#there's also something so weird and bass ackwards about assuming that all children are in crisis right now#it's like saying they're all experiencing trauma. when that is not at all how trauma works#and i piped up and said yeah probably 50% of kids are doing fine right now re: politics and would be annoyed to be treated otherwise#like 'oh you must be so broken over this.' no. not really.#and that doesn't mean we have to bend over backwards to cater to those kids but you do have to keep them in mind#if i showed up crying at work the day after the 2016 election there would have been student and parent complaints#in 2021 my school attempted to adopt a policy requiring pre-approval to teach anything 'controversial'#with 'controversial' defined as anything two people could reasonably disagree on#so walking into a class of 30 kids and saying 'since we're all traumatized let's do some deep breathing to heal our nervous systems' is#not gonna fly. more teachers will come under scrutiny and will get in trouble. that's not something we should be telling them to do#oof sorry. multiple tangents there.#point being. even if learning to 'regulate your nervous system' was totally achievable it still wouldn't be universally accepted#and god forbid anyone have any kind of physical or psychological or emotional difference that affects their 'regulation' 🙃#it just feels like such a trap to say you can fix yourself by self-regulating. because if you fail then what?#oh god i just remembered the convo turning to 'evidence-based practices' and how she said that's bullshit and white supremacy#because you should have practice-based evidence instead...#try something and if it works then it works and it's valid is how she described that. ugh#listen I won't die on the evidence-based practices hill but so many people in my work orbit treat it like a dirty phrase#like it's just some annoying procedural hoop to jump through for no reason#you know you can hurt people by just doing random stuff to them right?!#fuck.#i am so tired. I don't want to talk about my feelings at work. I don't want to 'hold space' for 'difficult emotions'#and i'm getting tired of listening to coworkers dump their shit on me too#but can i say 'hey you are dysregulated and that is making me dysregulated'? nope. definitely not.#because the default assumption is everyone talks through all their feelings all the time. so if you're not then you're doing it wrong.#talking through my feelings is what i have a blog and a notes app and inanimate objects for#and i'm doing pretty well with all that. i just don't want to do it at work#I think i can be my 'authentic self' without blurting out whatever is in my brain at that particular moment regardless of appropriateness#okay. done ranting. sorry. if you read this far goddamn wow congrats. i love you <3 have a good day okay? <3
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