#nervous breakdown hat

[hellotailor]

In IWTV, Lestat wears several pairs of trousers where the belt loops are below the waistband. I've never seen/noticed that in anything else before. Is that a historical style? What is it called? Google is giving me nothing and I'm dying over this detail.

these are known as "drop-loop" trousers! i love this detail - it's very distinctive, although i'd associate it a bit more with the 1940s/50s than the earlier decades of IWTV season 1.

IWTV's costumes really embrace the high-waisted silhouettes of menswear in early/mid-20th century america, something that some historical dramas tone down to fit in with modern tastes. (21st century suit pants tend to be tighter and sit lower on the hips, aiming for a "swimmers build" aesthetic.)

sam reid has the perfect figure for 1930s/40s fashion: a narrow waist and wide shoulders. pleated suit trousers have extra fabric around the hips/ass and are cinched in at the natural waist, which a) is comfortable and b) makes the waist look narrower, creating an almost hourglass shape depending on the cut. to modern eyes it can look more feminine than contemporary men's suits, which plays into lestat's Whole Deal.

one pair of lestat's drop-loop trousers (i wish i could find a better pic!) create even MORE emphasis on the waist by leaving a cummerbund-like waistband of fabric above the belt. it's the kind of finicky tailoring detail that makes it obvious that lestat is a real clotheshorse. he and louis clearly spend a ton of money on tailoring.

i also suspect that lestat's american wardrobe was influenced by the fact that he socialized with and lived alongside black people in the new orleans jazz scene. the most exaggerated styles of drop-loop trousers are something i'd associate with Zoot Suits, which were not a white/anglo style and would presumably have been worn by young black men in early 1940s new orleans. (in ep 1, louis is extremely fashionable and accessorized to the hilt, whereas lestat looks like he's wearing a historical costume.)

on a final note, i love that louis continues to wear high-waisted trousers in the present day. his modern outfits are quite soft, vulnerable and minimalist - close to the kind of simple-but-expensive clothes we'd expect to see on one of the cooler young tech billionaires, but with a silhouette that calls back to his youth.

[ftcatv]

drawing is such an ungrateful process, you sketch something and you're like omg omg i can draw it happened and then you start refining shit and it looks worse and worse and you want to give up

but you DON'T anyway, Piper

[piplupod]

epic win at old lady group today: the group leader was struggling with a tangled up loose skein of yarn, so i scampered over to the other end of the table where was sitting and offered to untangle it and wind it into a centre-pull yarn bal for her since I remembered how to do it from just the other day fjdkdl and she was very confused why i would WANT to do that but she let me :3

so i got to untangle yarn AND wind a yarn ball AND help someone i appreciate, three things i love doing - YIPPEE !!!

[yeojagroup]

i've had a BAD three days ...... bad . i won't go into it but i will promise to do something nice for myself tomorrow. self-care. for current me and future me. i do mean that in the more juvenile "buy yourself a six dollar drink as a treat because it makes you feel better in the moment" sense but also the thinking about hard things that make u momentarily uncomfortable but are necessary to confront sense

[irafook]

Ok, but listen. Harry goes back in time and decides to get rid of Tom Riddle AU, but the sorting hat goes like ??? when it reads Harry's mind. Idk it just irks me how the sorting hat is so understanding in most time travel fics, at best it puts Harry in a house he didn't want to be. But just imagine if it actually tells on Harry, full great hall drama with the hat going like "HE'S HERE TO MURDER SOMEONE"

And ofc Tom is instantly obsessed with the murder boy.

Extra:

(ofc the poor hat is not broken, it's on the verge of a nervous breakdown)

[violetrainbow412-blog]

Tangled Dreams [W. W]

Willy Wonka x fem!reader

word count: 3.7k

[Timothée masterlist]

note: I decided to combine these two because they are quite similar! I hope the ending doesn't seem rushed, I really appreciate your patience and please tell me if you liked it.

Special greetings to @kpopgirlbtssvt and @broadwaybaby123 ily pretty!

As you fell towards an unknown place through a stone tunnel, you thought that there were two things you wished you had done the day before: check the hole in your bag to avoid losing all your money and have read the small print of the contract you had signed.

If you had done both, you would have avoided ending up in the mess you were in, with the seemingly kind woman who had greeted you telling you that you owed more than ten thousand sovereigns for charges you weren't even aware of. She had said that you would work for a sovereign a day, however, she hadn’t said what that job would be and before you could ask, Bleacher had already pushed you through the hole in the wall.

You hit yourself when you fell on a wagon full of white fabrics and quickly got up to understand where you had arrived. There were fumes, water, and everything smelled like detergent, so you knew it was the laundry room, but the place was desolate.

Would you have to do everything alone? How was it possible? Suddenly you felt very scared thinking about how long you would have to be there to pay off your debt. You had left your home to look for better employment opportunities so that you could develop all your artistic skills, since living in a small town it was almost impossible to practice with your brush. You were supposed to meet other artists, learn from them, buy new materials... you didn't have to end up where you had.

As the minutes passed and you had more time to think about things, the situation was getting worse. You had no one in the city who could help you, you were completely alone, without money, with debts, without food... between all of this you felt your breathing starting to accelerate and you knew you were about to experience a nervous breakdown.

That happened when you were in high-stress situations and, honestly, you hated it. Your heart began to beat like crazy with no way to stop it, you felt like you were sweating and everything around you seemed to start to suffocate you. So when you felt a couple of tears forming in your eyes, you thought that you just wanted to disappear into the wagon full of sheets where you were.

The shock didn't let you think properly and that's why you couldn't even hear the voices coming from the other room, which suddenly turned into the presence of a group of unfortunate workers.

"Oh, hello?" muttered an older man with glasses. He was accompanied by a woman dressed in blue work overalls, another lady, and a curly with a flashy suit “New here?”

Even though she seemed kind, you couldn't take the words that way. You were scared and soon everyone realized that.

“Girl, are you okay?” the woman with overalls was quick to say, with the same kindness as the man, and after that everyone approached your direction.

You wanted to talk, but you couldn't, and apparently the proximity of the group only made you more nervous. While you were trying to contain your sobs they were looking for ways to calm you down, to no avail.

After a few seconds another couple of people appeared in the place and from the corner of your eye you could observe them: she was a pretty little girl and next to her was a young man wearing a coat and hat. He noticed right away that something wasn't right and he walked in your direction to find out.

“Well, hi,” he greeted you. Everyone looked at each other with a combination of pity and concern, as if you were a helpless kitten in a box “How about we give her some space? She looks scared”

The group did as he told them and then the only one left near you was that man. He didn't say anything for a moment, as if analyzing your behavior, and then he leaned slightly against the box to watch you.

“I'm Noodle,” the girl murmured now, still keeping her distance from you. “What's your name?”

“Y/N” you managed to say. You were still looking into the green eyes that were also watching you carefully.

“It's a pretty name,” he complimented. You were still struggling to breathe a little when he held out his hand to you. “Do you want me to help you out of there, Y/N? So we can talk. We are all here to help you, don't be afraid”

Willy misjudged your appearance and thought that you were quite young, even though you were the same age, which is why he allowed himself to speak to you so cautiously.

You carefully took the hand he was offering you and then the man helped you out of the wagon, practically carrying you outside. Once you were outside his arm carefully wrapped around you and guided you to a couple of chairs, where you sat down and he sat down too.

“Breathe,” the boy urged you, realizing that you were still sobbing a little. He wasn't touching you anymore, but he was watching you carefully “Can you get some water, Piper?”

You realized that the first woman who had spoken to you was named Piper, and while you were working on regulating your breathing she disappeared down the hallway. The boy whispered soft instructions: inhale, exhale, and with that you managed to calm down until she returned with the glass he had ordered for you.

"Here you have"

You took it and drank slowly, being careful not to choke, until you felt better. You were suddenly aware of everyone's expectant gaze and you shrank in on yourself with some pity.

“I'm sorry for all this,” you murmured, now that you were more composed. “It's just that when I fell here, everything was alone and I felt very… scared.”

“That's how we all felt the first time,” said the older man, to reassure you. “I'm Abacus Crunch.”

“Y/N,” you repeated, even though everyone had heard it the first time.

“This is Piper, Lottie, and Larry,” the boy next to you murmured, smiling gently at you. “And my name is Willy Wonka.”

That last one was the one that settled in your mind the most. Willy Wonka.

“How did you end up here?” Lottie asked kindly.

Everyone listened to your story carefully, now that you had managed to calm down, and a couple of sympathetic grimaces appeared on the faces of your new companions as you spoke. They told you, in broad strokes, their own reasons for ending up there and it turned out that these weren’t very different from yours.

“We were all fooled just by not reading the small print,” Larry said bitterly, even though he was supposed to be a comedian.

“For now we will just assign you a room and… you can rest, okay?” the little girl named Noodle murmured, trying to be as friendly as possible.

“Mrs. Scrubitt told me that I would have to work here every day to pay off my debt, is that true?”

They all shared a knowing look, debating whether or not they should tell you about their recent escapades to sell chocolates, and then Willy made the decision for the rest.

“You don't have to worry about anything. We'll be out of here soon, all of us. Just sleep and tomorrow we will explain to you, okay?” he murmured gently.

There was something about his smile that calmed you greatly and you were grateful that there was someone like him in that place. They all seemed to be good people, actually, so at least that was one less thing to worry about.

Noodle took you to an empty room where you could settle in along with your few belongings and right or wrong, you thought that at least you had a roof over your head that night.

Once you slept for a few hours and when morning finally arrived, they took care of updating you on the activities they had been doing to settle all the debts that existed with the cruel woman who had deceived you.

“We move through the sewers and come back here before Scrubitt does the roll call, at night,” Abacus explained to you. He was something like the leader of the place, probably because of the years of experience he had “If you help us with sales, then you will enjoy the benefits too.”

“You mean I can leave here?” you wanted to corroborate. Willy nodded enthusiastically.

“You arrived at a fairly opportune time, the business seems quite prosperous and if we continue like this, we will be gone in… a month and a half, maybe two months,” he estimated. It all sounded pretty good and at least they had the decency to tell you, so they could include you in the plan “Are you in?”

You thought it was risky, but if it meant a chance to leave, of course you'd take it. After all, those people had been trapped for years, what assured you that you wouldn't have the same fate? As you saw things, actually agreeing to help them was your only option.

"Of course. Just tell me what to do, I'll learn quickly” you exclaimed and everyone was happy with your response. Especially Willy.

“I'll take care of it myself, take it for granted.”

You took the hand that the man was offering you, as if you wanted to formally close the deal, and then everyone rushed to get the things you needed for the day's sale ready. As you watched them go from here to there you thought that you would have to get used to that hustle and bustle, but somehow it comforted you to know that now you were no longer so alone.

“Thank you for helping me,” you exclaimed in the direction of the light-eyed boy, who had stayed next to you. “At this time and yesterday too. I was quite worried and I just… panicked”

“Oh, you don't have to thank me for anything” he smiled at you sincerely “I know how ugly it is to be scared, so if another day you feel like that just tell me. I am always happy to help”

For a man who had only known you a day, he turned out to be quite the gentleman around you. Or maybe it was just that he behaved that way naturally.

“All ready?” Piper spoke and you knew it was your cue to leave for wherever your destination was that day.

And of course, just like everyone else when Willy came into their lives, from that moment on your whole world turned completely upside down.

Becoming friends with Willy Wonka wasn’t a task that required much effort, so after a few weeks the two of you were practically inseparable. To this we had to add that when he discovered that you were the same age, his sympathy towards you only increased, to the point of turning into a clear interest in you, although not in the way that most would expect.

Maybe he was rushing, but he had started to like you in a… romantic way? Maybe. He didn't know much about what it was like to be in love, but he knew that he had begun to feel something different in his chest for you. After all, you saw each other every day, at all hours, so it had been inevitable to know a lot about you.

You had talked to him about your life before arriving in the city, living in a modest village, about your dreams and the skills you hoped to improve with time and practice. Willy, in turn, had told you about his mother, the story of him making chocolates, the aspirations and desires he had to become the owner of a shop in the gourmet galleries... in short, everything that was truly important. Sometimes you spent entire hours, when you weren't working outside, talking and so you already knew a lot about each other by that point in your story.

That was why when, after a few weeks, your sleep was interrupted by a nightmare, the first thing you thought was to run and seek comfort in the arms of your friend. It was no secret that Scrubitt had been being particularly harsh with everyone there and although most of them were already used to it, you and Willy were the ones who suffered the most from those verbal attacks. She was quite trained in the art of being mean.

So maybe it was that he yelled at you a little worse that day, or it was just that you were too sensitive because the police almost caught you when you went out on the streets to sell the chocolates, but either way your mind had taken care of shaping everything that happened to create that bad dream.

When you knocked on his door you feared the thought of bothering him with your presence, however, it was too late to chicken out because almost immediately he had already peeked out of the room.

“Y/N?” he asked, slightly confused. From the lucidity with which he spoke you knew that he probably hadn't even been sleeping “What's wrong?”

“I had a nightmare,” you explained “Can I stay with you for a while?”

It didn't take Willy more than half a second to move to the side so that you could go inside and once you were there he invited you to sit on the deteriorated bed, where he also took a seat. The next thing he did was stretch his hand open on the mattress, offering you the option to take it if you needed it. You did it, partly to feel something to anchor you to reality and partly because you loved the feeling of his warm skin against yours.

“Do you want to talk about what you dreamed?” he asked softly.

“It wasn't anything too terrible, but it's just… Aren't you going to laugh?”

"Of course not. I would never do it,” Willy assured you, moving a little closer to you as if he wanted to keep the matter confidential. “What is it about?”

“It's just… I don't know, it was a strange dream. I dreamed that things were getting complicated with this whole business of selling chocolates and that's why I stayed here for years like Abacus or Piper. I mean, I really appreciate that you're trying to help us all and I know I'm the one who's been here the least and maybe I can't even complain, but… I've been afraid of something bad happening since I got here. And I dreamed that the chocolate cartel was hurting you, that's why I got very scared and I..."

“Hey, hey,” Willy murmured as he extended one of his arms to you, when he saw that you were about to burst into tears.

He hated seeing people cry, perhaps because of his compassionate and kind nature, but he hated seeing you cry, especially you. The first time you guys met he didn't want to be too invasive in terms of personal space because he didn't know how you were going to react, or he didn't even know if a hug would help you calm down. But now that you knew each other better he had also learned a few things about you, so he felt confident in holding you down if you were feeling bad. Like right now.

“I'm sorry, it's just that with what happened today with the police I feared the worst. It's not that I just love you because you're going to help us get out of here, it's that I really appreciate you and I don't want anything bad to happen to yo... to all of us, I mean”

Willy smiled moved at your concern and let go of the hand he was holding yours to hug you properly, without you objecting at all.

“But nothing bad is going to happen, dear. It was just a bad dream”

He calling you that pet name warmed your face, so you just let yourself be sheltered by his kind arms and nodded against his chest, a little less worried now that you had spoken it out loud. You stayed in that position for a few minutes, with you listening to the constant beat of his heart and with him enjoying the pleasant weight of your body against his.

“Were you making chocolates?” you asked quietly, noticing the ingredients spread across the table in his room. He loosened his grip on him slightly so you could get a better look.

"Yeah! Do you want some? Maybe that will make you feel better. Chocolate always makes me feel better” he smiled.

When Willy saw you nodding he rushed over to grab a couple of the treats and then shoved them into your hands, hoping you could enjoy them as much as he did. He was definitely right when he said that chocolate would make you feel better.

“Do these have nuts?” you asked, feeling the crunchy bits between your teeth.

"Yeah"

“I love nuts” you confessed. You had already told him before and he had made sure not to forget it, so a little smile crossed his face when he saw that the candy was to your liking. “Thank you for the chocolates. And thanks for listening to me, I… I definitely feel better”

“I'm glad to hear that”

“You're so sweet, Willy. I'm serious"

“It's no wonder. You deserve all the sweetness in the world.”

Your gaze fell on him immediately and you gave him a couple of seconds in case he wanted to take back those words. However, he didn't do it.

“Well, it's nice that you think that. Not many people are nice these days.”

“Like Scrubitt, for example?” he joked and you laughed.

“At first I felt very angry, you know? But at least now I'm happy to know that despite all this bad situation, I was able to meet someone like you."

Suddenly the urge to tell you what he felt appeared in his chest and he was honestly surprised by the impulsiveness of his thinking. There hadn't even been anything that triggered that desire, it was just his brain together with his heart that were asking him to say that out loud.

Were you going to be scared? He hoped not. Maybe he should just refer to his feelings in the hopes that you'll put the missing pieces together, or maybe he should just stay silent, or maybe...

“I have never met someone like you. You are very special to me"

You couldn't help the shy smile on your mouth and Willy settled for the excited gleam in your eyes.

“Ow, are you serious?”

"Yeah. And I think I like you a lot.”

You assumed, like everything he did, that this was just another courtesy on his part and so you responded as kindly and friendly as you could.

“I like you too, Willy.”

“And I think you're very pretty. In every way” he continued.

You didn't know if he was trying to flirt with you or if he was just being nice, so you just laughed with flushed cheeks and shoved another chocolate into your mouth to try to calm your nerves. You wanted to tell him that he was handsome to you too, but instead you murmured:

"Are not you sleepy? I can leave if that's the case, I didn't even think about…”

“No, you can stay,” he said quickly. He really seemed to want you there with him “Did I say something wrong?”

Of course he hadn't said anything wrong, how could he?

"No. I just thought you were tired and I didn’t want to bother you,” you admitted. “And I appreciate that you think I’m pretty”

The way he was looking at you and the question he had just asked you made you think that maybe what he had told you about liking you was something like he really liked you. In the romantic, cheesy way you swore wasn't possible.

“I like that you are here, but I don't want to keep you if you are tired.”

“No, no” now you said. You were acting so awkwardly that your brain was screaming at you to do something to fix it, but your thoughts were interrupted by his eyes landing on your lips “What?”

There was something different in the atmosphere that had settled in from one moment to the next and could be felt with the fingers on your hand.

“Can I confess something to you?” he asked in a whisper. “And you promise not to be scared?”

“That depends,” you said nervously. Those kinds of secrets could range from the illegal to the wildly strange.

Luckily, what he longed to tell you was nothing on that spectrum.

“I think I like you a lot,” he repeated. But this time you understood perfectly what he meant.

You were burning with shame at the direction the conversation had taken and you looked at your friend with fear, not knowing how to respond to his confession. You knew you reciprocated those feelings, but you didn't feel the courage to say it. Fortunately you did have the courage to lean towards him and press your lips against his, because of course, from your strange logic that would be less embarrassing.

Now it was Willy who blushed noticeably and using the same reasoning as you, decided to mask his nerves by kissing you back again. Although he didn't say it explicitly, it was notable that he had never kissed any woman and the thought of it being his first kiss made you feel touched. He tasted like chocolate and inexperience, but he was perfect.

“I like you too,” you admitted between his lips, just as if you wanted to make it clear to him that the feeling was mutual and that he shouldn't have any fear about it.

While you were kissing him, your mind kept thinking that all that had happened thanks to one of your nightmares and, for the first time in your life, you felt grateful for that bad dream.

taglist: @dyieying @reallysparklychaos @silverchainbee @amethyistheart @shadowygladiatorlight @lavendarhearts @lou-multifandoms

[fairyhaos]

how seventeen respond to their s/o apologising unnecessarily

requested by @dandycharmer : "So, I was wondering if you could make an svt reaction to reader being maybe concious of how they speak or apologizing a lot without reason/need."

notes: ah i understand this so well. i hope this can provide some comfort to people who feel this way too <3

masterlist

seungcheol, joshua, vernon

"why are you sorry, baby?" is trying to slowly, gently, coax you out of that habit. your habit of constantly apologising appears often when you're nervous, so he poses the question to you, holding your shoulders, looking you in the eye, trying to help you calm down. he knows it stems from your own nerves, your anxiety that people will think worse of you for something you did, but by constantly asking why you have need to be sorry, he's hoping that you'll realise, one day, that there's no need to be sorry, that there's nothing to apologise because everything is perfectly okay. the genuine way he asks the question has led to breakdowns during your most vulnerable moments, and he holds you through them, hoping that you really can understand that everything you do is precious and doesn't need an apology at all

jeonghan, woozi, seungkwan

"stop being sorry, you didn't do anything wrong." he always frowns, upset, when you start apologising. you don't have anything to he sorry for, so why are you apologising? he may get frustrated sometimes, but he knows that this will take time, that it's difficult for you to break a habit formed by your own securities, and he hates that, hates how you feel like you have to apologise for every little thing you do and wants to let you know that you don't have to. that you don't need to be sorry. not even to him. especially not to him. because he gets it, understands and accepts everything you do at the drop of a hat, so you don't need to say sorry because there's nothing to be sorry for, okay? 

junhui, mingyu, dokyeom, chan

"that's okay, take all the time you need." you're rambling at this point, only half on track with what you'd originally started talking to him about, and the apologies blurring with what you're saying like you don't even realise you're saying sorry over and over again, but he just smiles softly, reassuringly. he takes your hands, rubbing his thumb over your knuckles, taking in deep breaths and encouraging you to do the same. he knows that you're frustrated yourself at your own nervous habit of always apologising for everything you do, so instead of telling you what you already know, he tells you what you need to hear. that it's okay, that you can take your time, that he's still listening and that everything is perfectly alright. 

hoshi, wonwoo, minghao

simply goes "there's no need to be sorry, baby, it's okay" before carrying on with whatever he was doing before. you're apologising for something that happened that morning, but he just shakes his head, carrying on eating his lunch, telling you that it's okay. he tells you it's alright without even batting an eye, without even having to look up at you, so calm and casual and it makes you think that, maybe, it really is okay. it's a difficult habit to break, and he understands, understands how sometimes there's a desire to explain every action you make and apologise for them in case you get judged, but he wants to help break that. he might not look at you when he says it, simply carrying on with what he was doing, but when he does look up there's warmth to his eyes, reassuring you that it really is alright. 

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[basmentdwealer]

Here you guys go!! As I said in my last blog, my Pomni redesign and personal headcanons for her

I will have to apologise that the colours aren’t as bright as her og design because I personally don’t like bright colours that much

Here are the lists of headcanons (and ones I forgot to add) in case you can’t read my handwriting

-Has breakdowns everyday until her 2nd month at the circus

-Very cautious about EVERYTHING

-Does not like being “surprise touched”, or just being touched in general

-Everyone has different sound effects for their censors; hers is various clown-ish sounds like jingles, honking, squeaks and cartoon bonks

-purrs with a low chittering jingle

-absolutely hates the many bells on her outfit but she can’t change it nor take it off

-curls up like a cat when sleeping

-barely eats the digital feasts

-Her eye twitches involuntarily sometimes; mostly when she’s stressed

-Goes to sleep with Ragatha sometimes because her room is close and she (Pomni) trusts her (Ragatha) -Has breakdowns everyday until her 2nd month at the circus

-she tightly grips and squeezes her hat when anxious (it slowly became a nervous habit of hers)

[sister-cna-reader]

DC x DP

“Do you know anyone willing to date a ghost-touched woman over 6ft tall?” 

Barbara Gordon blinked slowly at the lanky teenager who asked the question. His arms were full of astronomy books and he was leaning in close as if it was a serious question. 

“It depends? I’m a librarian, not a matchmaker.” she replied, holding her hands out for the books to scan. “Why are you asking? It’s an awfully specific criteria.” 

Daniel Nightingale was the name of the boy before her. Just registered in the library system a little under 3 months ago. 17 years old and with that black hair, sky blue eyes and scars on the hand partially covered by a fingerless glove- Wayne adoption bait. 

“My older sister is great and all.” he said, fidgeting with his sleeves, “But I think she needs to live a little you know? She’s so.. So….” he made a compressing motion with his hands, like packing a snowball. 

“Repressed?” Barbara suggested, scanning the book on the Hubble Telescope. 

With a snap of his fingers he grinned. “Exactly! Now if only I could find a guy for her that is ghost-touched…” he muttered under his breath.  

“What do you mean by ‘ghost- touched’?” 

“Oh you know,” he mimicked the paddles of a defibrillator, “Clear!” he chuckled. 

Did this lady have a heart attack? Heart problems? 

“I died but it didn’t stick, so someone who is like me would be good. Then we wouldn’t have to explain the whole thing.” 

“Oh, I see.” the redhead said, not understanding much at all. “Due date for the books is in one month. I’ll keep an eye out for your sister?” 

Danny nodded and gathered all the books into a beat up backpack. “You can’t miss her. Long red hair, super tall, looks like she’ll either have a nervous breakdown or murder someone if you bump into her.” 

Barbara could only nod in agreement to the boy as he seemed to float out of Gotham Public Library. 

~~

Jazz was ready to shove her little not-quite-dead brother into the Fenton Thermos. She was doing well at her counseling position at the University, but Danny had insisted that her newfound hours of free time should be used in romantic pursuits.

“If you had friends you hung out with I won’t pester you. But Jazz! You need to do something fun!” He had said from the kitchen counter, hair glowing and eyes like two green beacons. “Live a little! We’re already part dead! Let go!” 

So she trudged her way to the Public Library. If she had to get out of the house to shut her brother up, she’d at least be an introvert about it. 

Jazz put on her best pleasant face and made her way to the librarian’s desk to get registered. 

The woman behind the counter was like looking into a warped mirror. Glasses, hair just a shade brighter, and eyes the wrong color looked back at her in mirrored surprise. 

“Bad hair day?” the mirror image guessed, pointing at the slouchy hat and messy bun that contained the mass of copper hair that Jazz hadn’t cut in the last year. 

“Uh yeah. Little brother was pestering me about going out, so I’m here for a library card.” Jazz rambled, doing her best to not play with the strap of her purse. 

“I’m Barbara, and welcome to Gotham Public Library!” The woman smiled warmly. 

When Jazz handed over her ID for Barbara to input the required information in the database the lady smirked. “I met your brother a few days ago actually. Tall, scrawny, likes space?”

Jazz groaned. “I’m so sorry about him.” 

The librarian’s glasses were white from the monitor. “Oh don’t worry about it, I know how younger siblings are. They mean well, they’re just annoying about it.” 

Card squared away, Jazz went in search of a quiet corner to read a trashy romance novel in. 

~~ 

Jason took his rare day off to visit the Library. He was also going to drop off a coffee for Barbara, and maybe sweet talk some info out of her. 

He needed some blackmail to lord over some birds. 

“Jason! How good to see you in the daylight! Oh! Coffee! Gimmie,” his favorite tech person greeted. 

Coffee offering made, Jason and Barbara traded information. 

“You should take a load off.” She suggested, waving him away towards the adult fiction shelves as some patrons came to check out. “See you at dinner Sunday!” 

The building was warm today, rare sunlight coming through the skylights and windows, making his leather jacket too hot to wear indoors. And there was nothing else pressing on his schedule today, so why not read a bit? 

Austen novel in hand, Jason made his way to his favorite reading nook. Instead of the two empty armchairs he’d push together into a lounge, there was a woman already there, firmly in the ray of sun that made her red hair look like fire. 

Her long legs were stretched out, boots cluncking together in a slow rhythm as she read. 

“Oh,”  

Bright green eyes startled and looked at him dead in the eyes. He blinked, and they were no longer green but a calming ocean blue.  

“Sorry,” she said, folding her legs back to let him pass. 

“Nah, it’s okay, I kind of want to soak in some sun too. Mind sharing?” Jason offered, fully prepared to leave the tall amazon alone.  But deep down he felt something warm and grow fuzzy. 

“Sure,” she scooted her chair over and pulled the other closer so they both shared the spot of sun. “I’m Jazz.” 

He sat down next to her and the scent of her shampoo reminded him of the herby bread that Alfred made with soup. She stretched out again and he realized that her legs were much longer then his. 

“I’m Jason.”

Inside the pit barely rippled. 

Her phone beeped and she opened the beat-up thing to scoff. “Danny for Ancient’s sake,” she typed something out only for another beep to immediately reply.  

Jason frowned. “Danny your boyfriend?” 

Blue eyes met him in an exasperated roll. “No. He's just a little brother who can’t mind his own business. Now he wants a selfie to prove ‘I’m not alone being a cave troll.’ Just a sec.” 

She started to angle away to send a picture of her flipping off the phone, but Jason pulled her closer and let his arm be visible around her shoulders in the selfie. He hadn’t thought, just acted. 

There was a surprising amount of muscle under that sweater.

The pit purred in pleasure and Jason wanted to melt into the floor. 

Jazz giggled, her smile showing teeth that were just a little too sharp. “Oh he’ll be happy with this I think. Only thing that would be better is if you had a big black motorcycle. That’d send him through the roof.” 

His breath hitched. The sun must’ve been too hot, and he felt himself grow warm under that bright smile. 

“Would a black and red motorcycle do?”  Was this flirting? Was he flirting? Was it working? He hoped it was working.

Those eyes lit up again and she tossed the book onto the chair, towering over him. “That’s perfect. He hates the idea of me on a motorcycle with a biker boyfriend.” 

Jason stood up and tossed his jacket to Jazz with a feral smile. “Let’s get you some pictures riding a motorcycle my lady.” 

The pit crowed in happiness, a rare thing when not caused by blood or murder. He made sure to get a few pictures of her on his bike with his own phone before remembering it should really be on Jazz’s phone, to send to Jazz’s brother. 

Not wanting the fun time to end, he put his helmet in her hands. “I know a good burger joint. Want to stay out late? See some sights?”

He was so focused on the redhead woman in his leather jacket straddling his bike, he forgot about the other redhead with access to the security cameras.

[cocoreallylovesraiden]

jian dui (煎堆)

(smoke) tomas vrbada x chef!reader

this is a longer more in-depth fic, completely self indulgent (no one is surprised) this is for all the overthinking thought daughters out there!

mentions of overwork and stress; comfort and fluff fic

4.5k

12 o’clock, midnight. You fight to keep your eyelids open, your grasp on the ratty broom constantly slipping like your will to continue sweeping the floor. There had been some form of celebration in the dinner rush, one of the village elder’s ninetieth birthday if you recall correctly- you could only tell because of the long-life noodle soup and fish orders that piled in your kitchen. 

That and the sound of vivacious chatter that rang damp and faded by the time it reached the kitchen, muffled out by the popping of hot oils and staticky songs that eked out your handheld radio. But the service floor was dim and empty now, the lingering smell of leeks and alcohol the only reminder of the hectic rush hours ago.

Seeing as the teahouse had officially closed hours ago, Madam Bo and the servers left long ago- the former only leaving after promises that you wouldn’t stay up too late and would lock everything up properly. Now, you had regretted not letting her stay, the silence and darkness culminating in a rather lethargic and lonely feeling. 

Deeming the floor clean of scraps, you set the broom and dustpan to the side and sit yourself down at a large, round table. The exhaustion of working a full day seemed to hit you all at once the moment you hit the chair, a strained sigh leaving your lips. The soft sound echoed throughout the airy building, sending chills down your spine. 

You spent many nights at the teahouse, finishing up closing- but usually it was not alone. Oftentimes, it was Madam Bo who accompanied you; with one last pot of tea brewing and ready to greet you once everything was done. The two of you would sit by the entrance, looking at the stars and quietly planning the next day’s quotas. Some nights Raiden and Kung Lao came by, usually by the latter’s plan, eager to annoy you into closing up faster. Raiden would sit at the smallest table, hat hung up neatly with some water while Kung Lao followed your every footstep, criticising for every speck of dust you left in your wake.

He’d pinch your waist, you’d kick him in the shin, and Raiden would laugh. It, ironically, often pushed you back to doing an extra hour of overtime, but the two’s company was more than welcome, even if you pretend like they were burdensome. 

Somewhere in the distance, you hear the sound of a dog barking. It’s far away enough that the sound doesn’t make you jump in your skin; you rest your head on top of your sprawled out forearm, strands of hair spilling onto the table. It was that time of night, where even the hardest of workers reached their homes and were greeted with dogs barking, warm dinner and naggy housewives. But you were here- at the teahouse, alone and stuck with a pile more chores before you could even think about going home. 

Once you did get home, everyone would probably be asleep and the house just as quiet as here. Then you’d leave at dawn, before anyone would have woken up. You turn to bury your nose into the crook of your arm, trying to bury the small feeling of dread that bubbled within you. 

You were tired, hadn’t had a day off in three weeks, and honestly couldn’t tell if a nervous breakdown and nervous breakTHROUGH was coming your way. In fact, a server had told you to try and take the next few days off, claiming to be sick or something rather. But if you were sick, who would man the kitchen? You still had that delivery of spices coming tomorrow, but then the meeting with the butcher on Tuesday, and…

Tears pool in the corner of your eyes. You pinch the nape of your neck, stifling a bitter laugh. Really? The butcher was the straw that broke your back? The laugh turns sour, and you sniff like a child ready to engage in full cry baby mode. But before you can indulge in a well-deserved cry, you catch a shadow in the corner of your eye. Human-shaped, moving at a slow speed.

A thief? You hadn’t had to deal with any thugs in a long time. Your body stiffened as adrenaline filled your arms, holding your breath as you waited for the right time. Maybe this was a sign- and you could take out your frustration with some good old combat. The moment you catch a foreign scent of leather you know the assailant’s close enough to strike, so you lash out first.

Twisting your torso you kick out the chair in front of you, knocking them back as your other leg coils back for a high kick. The trespasser is decidedly male, wearing all black, and in the blur you managed to catch of him, looked to be unarmed. You want to be confident in ending the confrontation soon, but he effortlessly catches your leg before it reaches him, gloved hands against your thigh and throws it down. The movement trajectory just about sends you to the floor but you catch yourself right before your chin collides with the table edge, nails uncomfortably jutting into the wood. 

He holds onto the back of your singlet, far too dangerously close to bare skin. Blood rushes to your ears, draining out the distant sound of the man yelling- you barely grab onto your tang jacket that had fallen onto the ground, whipping it behind you. The heavy fabric hits him in the face and has him let go of you to grasp at it, giving you precious time to regain composure and wind back a nasty cross punch. It lands beautifully, backed up with your weeks of unspoked upset, and the man falls flat on his rear, jacket slipping off his body and back to a puddle on the floor.

You stalk forward with all the intent of beating this man to a pulp and asking questions later. But sobriety shocks your limbs like cold water when you see who’s in front of you; straight nose, short silver hair-

“Tomas!” You cry out, dropping to your knees and gripping onto his shoulder. He offers a strained smile, holding onto his neck. “Oh my gods, are you alright? Why didn’t you say anything?” 

Your words are accompanied by a string of apologies and frantic, fleeting hands ghosting over wherever you thought you’d hit him. Right by his jaw, where you’d landed the punch, had a patchy red mark clear as day even in the midnight darkness. You cringe looking at it; why had you gotten him with your good arm? It would turn puffy and dark by the morning.

“I mean, I did say several things, but I don’t think you were listening.” Tomas peers up at you with wide, unblinking eyes, mouth quirked in a frown. 

His words were well-meaning; and you knew that being a part of the Lin Kuei meant that he got throttled around ten times worse for breakfast, lunch and dinner- but the idea that you’d so blindly struck a friend without rationalising the situation left you feeling like an angry, primitive caveman.

Tomas got back on his feet long before you did, his shadow offering a comfortable shade from the world. He offers you a large hand, fingertips just peeking into your field of vision.

“You hit pretty hard for a chef, by the way. What are you fighting in that kitchen?” You groan, letting your forehead unceremoniously clash onto the cold floor. Tomas laughs above you, and you feel him dragging you up to your feet. “Sorry, my bad.” The words come out between the occasional giggle.

You let him sit you down on the very chair that had been launched at him not a minute ago, and he settles for standing in front of you with his arms crossed. How he can laugh so brightly with that bruise on his face, you can only wonder; maybe you ought to take a couple notes when it comes to smiling in the face of adversity. You must’ve sighed again subconsciously, because Tomas shoots you a pointed look, his once full grin mellowed into a half-pulled awkward sort of baulk. 

A brief moment of silence passes you both, neither quite sure of what to say. The gape in conversation is emphasised by a hissing wind passing by, uncharacteristically cool for the July temperature. Tomas is looking somewhere directly behind your shoulder in an effort to make eye contact, and you aren’t sure how to react; he had always been the more outgoing, conversational one, and it seemed like his energy whether sheepish or cheerful was contagious.

You crack the knuckle of your ring finger in a moment of habit, and cringe when his eyes dart to the sound with mild alarm. 

Tomas, this time with a noticeable amount of surprise, asks you if you’re going to hit him again. You debate your answer, deciding to forgo one entirely for a new question. 

“Why are you here? You know our opening hours.” Tomas scratches the back of his neck, standing with his head down like he’s being scolded. Which he wasn’t, for the record. You just happened to have a stern way of speaking, is all. He begins several sentences, always halting and rephrasing himself before any of them could come to completion. And despite the smile on his face, his hands gestures in a way that you knew meant he was uncomfortable; before he can continue, you nod sympathetically. Even without big details, once you heard the words ‘brother’ you had a decent idea of the bigger picture. 

Tomas scrunches his nose in a way that is small and meek but genuine, sitting down amicably at the chair you pat the surface of. His pale eyes follow you as you stand up, and before he can ask where you’re going you speak first. 

“ I’m coming back, with tea. Want anything else?” 

“Don’t trouble yourself for me.” 

The sound of grumbling is more honest than his words, evident by the way his cheeks flush. You let out a laugh, a first proper one in what feels like days. He rolls his eyes in an attempt to brush it off, but he looks right back at you with a new purpose- hoping you’d listen to the not-so-subliminal subliminal messages he was sending you. A promise in the form of “i’ll see what i can do” is enough to satiate him (for now), and you’re free to shuffle to the dark kitchen, only able to find your way from the dim glow of moonlight. 

As the water boils, you scavenge about for anything that might qualm the bottomless pit that was Tomas’ appetite. Having cooked for him for- how long had you been working as a cook here? Four years? Four years was enough time to know that Tomas, who you lovingly refer to mentally as big-boy, could eat as well as he could fight. There wasn’t much to offer, though. Most of the stock was fresh produce, sauces and grains, though there was a little wrapped bamboo steamer nestled in the corner behind some baskets. 

You sigh, gingerly pulling it out. Raiden had gifted them to you, from this morning, homemade sesame balls made by his mother or grandmother- the maker not as important as how delicious they were as a sweet you fell in love with, even back when you had them for the first time at ten years old. The original plan was to eat them hot during the mid-afternoon lull, but you had been so busy the entire day they’d been neglected and turned cold. Well, now was as good a time as any, you guessed. 

Once the water boiled you prepared two large mugs of… passable tea (you were a chef, not a server) and balanced it carefully along with the bamboo steamer. You only almost dropped the ensemble twice, which all things considered was pretty impressive; even if Tomas’ gleeful snickering made you feel like it was your first day on the job.

Speaking of which, from the moment you exited the kitchen, the man had been observing you like a wide-eyed owl, knees tucked to his chest and two very capable arms hanging by his sides, neither of which made the smallest move to assist you. He watches you set the mugs and steamer on the table, having the nerve to ask where the teapot was if you were going to drink tea. 

“No fancy service after hours. Be thankful I didn’t just throw the leaves into lukewarm water.” Tomas snorts at your very real threat, and you let him think you were just joking. 

You take a sip of the tea while he enthusiastically blows on him more times than necessary, and you don’t miss the way his eyes dart to see if he’d gotten a reaction out of you. It earns a shake of your head, but you find yourself smiling behind the lip of your mug. 

He was trying to lighten the mood. Even after you’d been the one to deck him in the face- though to be fair he had snuck up on you. As a repayment of kindness, you nudge the steamer he’d been eyeing over to him. It’s comical, the way the mere thought of a snack could make his face light up. 

“As payment for rocking your shit.” He scoffs at your statement.

“I’ll have you know I let you ‘rock my’- Ooohhh, these look good. Are they jian dui? Do you have chopsticks?”

You laugh at how he eagerly rubs his hands together, even harder when you pass him the chopsticks you keep in your apron only to find him wrist-deep in the bamboo steamer pulling out two sesame balls. He lets out an incredulous sounding ‘What?’ before indulging himself in a hearty bite, eating the entire sweet in one fell swoop. The second one, squeezed between his middle and ring finger, is demolished right after he swallows the first bite. The only sound that comes from him is a content hum of appreciation, and then a muffled, food-filled offer of one the sweets; where you take out a single ball. 

With an amused huff you lean back in the chair, satisfied for now to watch Tomas eat so passionately. Seeing the way his previously tense face melt into genuine happiness was the kind of reaction every chef loved to see; it was also a reaction he gave you whenever he ate your food as well. It was probably why Tomas was one of your favourite people to cook for- you could even look past his shady Lin Kuei business and strange affinity with smoke bombs.

In between wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and taking a drink from his mug, Tomas asks you a very loaded question in a manner only describable as unceremonious.

“By the way, are you okay? You looked upset when I came in. ”

The question stunlocks you into speechlessness, and your change in posture was enough for him to flinch in his seat, quickly apologising if he had been insensitive. He hadn’t been, you make sure to tell him that, but you just weren’t really used to people asking you for a change. You stare lamely at your still untouched sesame ball, trying to find the right words. 

This wasn’t the first time you’d try to talk about your feelings- but you never wanted to burden your family or Madam Bo, and god knows that seriously talking about things with Kung Lao would just feel… weird. 

“I think…” You chew the inside of your cheek. “I’m tired? Not from work, I can do that fine; but- maybe it is work, and I’m lying to myself- I don’t know, I’m not making sense and it’s just complaining, probably.”

Tomas props his cheek against the palm of his hand. 

“Sometimes after training I cry.” 

The sentence, as much as it shocks you into sitting straight, comes out of Tomas like it’s nothing. Your face must’ve looked obviously surprised, because he offers you a half-shrug. 

“Not everyday, just when it gets hard. But I never know which part of it is making me miserable, so I end up crying like a kid in my room.” 

You look at him wordlessly, trying to find a response. He apologises again, saying he wasn’t the best at comforting people. And you understand- it must be hard, especially when his two older brothers aren’t exactly the role model of loving communication. But despite the blunt phrasing of it all, Tomas’ words helped you feel a little better. Knowing that someone with a lifestyle as different as yours, and one where he had to be tougher than you did, that he also felt the same way made you feel much less alone. You put your sesame ball back in the steamer and roll it amongst the sparse remaining ones. 

“I stuck my head in the icebox this afternoon so I didn’t freak out. Madam Bo came in to rush an order, and I got so scared the lid closed on me.” 

You still remember the nauseating smell of chilled meat that permeated the ice box, a scent that didn’t leave your hair for hours afterwards. Tomas laughs when you share that, and mentions how Bi Han does something vaguely similar with his ice affinities; it’s a strange image that you have trouble believing. He seems to have an equal anecdote to share for everything you tell him, which both helps you feel less ostracised for your more vulnerable moments and tells you a little more about the enigmatic character that is Tomas. You both talk idly until the mugs of tea had run dry, which seemed to give Tomas the encouragement to speak up,

“My brothers and I were in the area to meet Madam Bo, for a meeting, but I’m not sure what kind of business they had with her.” You raise your eyebrows at the change in his tone; a little more quiet and forlorn; and asking him why he wasn’t in the know only made his shoulders sag further down. “They don’t… tell me about these details. I just know when to show up and what to do.”

Tomas had always walked shoulder to shoulder with Bi Han and Kuai Liang, so for him to say that was a surprise. “I asked too many questions, and it pissed Bi Han off- you know how he is. He went on another one of his… tangents. I didn’t want to hear it, so I left, and came here.”

By the end of it he’s half-speaking and half chewing on the already raw nails of his thumb. He sounds incredibly downtrodden, but in a way where he’d been acquainted with the feeling for a while now; and even gives you the same half-hearted smile you give Madam Bo when she asks you about how you are. Bi Han’s ‘tangents’ weren’t too familiar to you, but you’d heard him angry once. Of course behind the safety of the kitchen walls you were safer than the two brothers actually speaking to him, but the boom of his voice still made you want to duck for cover. If you remembered correctly, he had slipped out something about Tomas not really being his brother- something of the likes. With how much Tomas admired him, you could only imagine how much that would hurt.

Gingerly, you pat his other hand, one that’d been fidgeting splayed out on the table. He takes your thumb, squeezing it in return. You study his hand, faded scars littering where his gloves could not cover. They vary from white to angry red, and there’s one on the joint of his thumb that’s circular, similar to an old oil burn below your knuckle. 

“We match!” Tomas seems suddenly overjoyed at the mundane discovery, bringing your smaller hand closer to him and looking over it with much precision. He even puts your hands side by side, smiling to himself when he sees that they really do line up. The warm sight is doing something to your already fragile heart, seeing him handling you so delicately- an experience you’ve missed from anyone in god knows how long; you begin to feel your throat clog up. 

He looks up at you, and instead of frantically apologising again, or trying to prevent it, he just takes your hand in both of his, soothingly running his thumbs along your fingers. 

And just like that, months of emotional suppression goes down the drain.

When the waterworks finally do turn on, you feel utterly embarrassed to be crying in the presence of a Lin Kuei member, even if he was patient in letting you pathetically gather up your thoughts in snotty blubbering nonsense. You tell him everything- or at least as well as much as you can without making yourself cry harder. Tomas doesn’t say much, only nodding and periodically affirming you when you make the odd negative comment about yourself. Right when you’re coming down from the bulk of emotional distress, you make the mistake of mentioning how upset you were that as a chef, you often went hungry and forgot to eat in favour of work. ‘

By the end of the thought you’re up and ready for another bout of tears until Tomas picks up one of the last sesame balls and feeds it to you. Well, it was more an involuntary feeding- the kind that you did to zoo animals like giraffes or gazelles, but the strange scenario of being hand fed a cold sesame ball is enough to stop the tsunami wave. You tearfully eat the sweet like a child, and everything seems to calm down until you accidentally bite Tomas’ hand and he mentions how even though you were hungry, you couldn’t eat him as well. You knew it was a light-hearted joke, but for some reason, it makes you cry again. He picks up the last one, having the gall wave it in front of you like a parent feeding their child mashed peas; it’s effective in ceasing your tears, but the offence you take from the action takes over an equal amount. 

You smack his hand away too hard by accident, sending it tumbling onto the floor and under the table. You yelp, and Tomas immediately ducks to try and pick it up, hitting his head on the table’s underside. 

A series of ‘ow, ow, ow, ow’ emits from him like a mantra as he slides off the chair onto the floor, clutching his head for dear life. You burst into watery laughter that grows in strength as he turns to side eye you from his awkward position. 

“Are they really that good?” Is a rhetorical question from you because- yes they were- but it’s one you ask to chide the silver haired man. He groans in response, ungracefully slumped over to a cross legged position, still scratching his patch of hair like he’s expecting a miraculous bald spot to have formed. “Don’t… even. Bullying me from the high ground.” he mutters. 

You then join him on the floor, knees bumping as you get yourself comfortable. Tomas scuttles momentarily before he turns over with the sesame ball, successfully retrieved, delicately held between two fingers. He blows on it once to get all the dust off, then presents it square in front of your face; you roll your eyes and make a show of blowing air on it like it’s a pinwheel. 

“Good as new!” 

“You are ridiculous.” 

Tomas sticks out his bottom lip and shrugs, and you find yourself feeling somewhat lucky to catch such a candid and free side of him tonight. You both split the last sesame ball and eat it under the table with the secrecy of children sneaking halloween sweets after bedtime, and you giggle when a dollop of the filling drops off of his half and splats right onto his shoe. He shushes you when you snort by accident, as if there were metaphorical adults downstairs ready to catch you red handed. It’s only half way through the motion he notices his own ridiculousness and relents, joining you in the delight of it all. 

Once the two of you wipe your hands, finally finished with all the sweets, you stare at the sky above you. Craning your neck to see it under the table, it looks different than it usually does- more daunting, mysterious, like it felt stargazing as a child. You’re not sure what mood overtakes you, but you lean to rest your head on Tomas’ shoulder, cheek squished against the fabric of his Lin Kuei uniform. It’s promptly followed by the feeling of him mirroring your actions on the top of your head. He radiates more body heat than you’re used to- and in the summer heat it borders on being clammy, but the feeling of his shoulders rising and falling is one that so perfectly cures your recent lack of simple human touch.

 You stay like this for a while, not moving much aside from Tomas occasionally nuzzling into you for a more comfortable position.  He suddenly speaks. 

“Sorry for scaring you.” 

“...Sorry for punching you in the face.”

“Apology not accepted.”

His voice is soft and cheeky- his usual tone. You elbow him sharply, and he doesn’t even budge. Soon, drowsiness overtakes you, the adrenaline from before melting behind the exhaustion of your work day. You let your eyes close, settling into the crook of Tomas’ neck with the intent of only resting your eyes for the time being. He huffs airly in response, sounding half-asleep himself. It’s incredibly peaceful- in a way that you haven’t felt since sneaking naps during a family reunion; and what was meant to be quiet relaxation turned into the best sleep you’d had in months. 

You wake up at the crack of dawn, to the feeling of Tomas being dragged out from under the table. He lets out a string of complaints and frantic this and that, begging the other person for mercy. The other person, as it turned out, was Madam Bo, coming in to open the teahouse. You watch in groggy amusement as he’s whacked in the head with the broom you left by the table last night; as the elderly woman goes on about Tomas being a stupid boy, and for him to leave her precious cook alone. 

Before he’s shooed away, he gives you a closed-eye smile and wave, telling you to have a good day at work. You barely have time to raise a hand in acknowledgement before it’s your turn to be dragged out by Madam Bo, thankfully with no broom this time. 

[vickriarts]

someone compliment his hat before he has another nervous breakdown

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed, Episode 40 part two

(Masterpost) (Pinboard)  (whole thing on AO3)

Warning! Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!

What a Relief

After spending a few weeks in Gusu doing...stuff, our trio comes to Jinlintai for the discussion conference. Unusually for a CQL stair-climbing scene, nobody is planning to murder anyone once they get to the top.

Our crew walks up the stairs past 3 massive sculpted reliefs featuring Jin Guangyao.

First and most important, I have to point out that the sculpture version of Lan Xichen [edit: Nie Mingjue actually, whoops] is wearing a sash that looks like this:

*cough*

Meanwhile, for the picture with the sword and flames, qhanzi.com tells me that the written characters are 伏殺, fú shā; Google translate tells me this means "ambush." Specifically Fu=conceal, Sha=kill. Ballsy to have a monumental artwork on your front steps announcing that you're a backstabbing turncoat, Jin Guangyao.

Speaking of balls, Jiang Cheng jumps at the opportunity to bust some when the Lan bros arrive with Wei Wuxian in tow. He pretends not to know who Wei Wuxian is, but obviously does know something, given how bitchily he asks to be introduced. Lan Wangji continues his 13-year-long silent treatment of JC while Lan Xichen tries to figure out which bland smile he's meant to be deploying in this situation.

(more after the cut!)

They're all rescued by the appearance of Jin Guangyao 3.0, who has discarded his Nie braids and his Wen hotness in favor of Jin ostentatiousness.

He's no longer wearing the v-neck robe and topknot crown that we associate with the cultivation sects. Instead he's wearing a hat and a round-necked robe with a big embroidered design on the chest, that resembles the clothing style of a court official.

Some people see JGY's bureaucratic wardrobe as signaling that he's an unassuming administrator, someone who is not threatening to the power structure or is not ambitious. I see it more as conveying that his ambition reaches beyond the cultivation sects into the realm of dynastic/imperial politics.

Anyway, Jiang Cheng turns his ire towards his nephew, and Lan Xichen relaxes again. Possibly he is a little too relaxed, judging by how he's ogling Jiang Cheng.

I'm high as a kite, I just might stop to check you out

Party Monster

Fanfics are often accused of giving us an out-of-character (OOC) Wei Wuxian, but no fanfic Wei Wuxian is as OOC as the Wei Wuxian who attends this banquet. Normally Wei Wuxian is a mildly annoying flirt, but as soon as soon as he arrives in Koi tower he is (presumably) possessed by the spirit of Jin Guangshan, and becomes a gross sex pest.

He goes out of his way to hit on the wife of the clan leader and make googly eyes at all of the maids, whose social status doesn't allow them to be rude to him. And he does it in front of his date! What the hell, possessed Wei Wuxian.

While oblivious to Lan Wangji's jealousy, Wei Wuxian does check in with him to make sure it's ok to put on his "crazy Mo Xuanyu" act. LWJ replies with a certain amount of salt, but once Wei Wuxian makes it clear he's thinking about Lan Wangji's public face, LWJ chills out and answers him normally.

Side note: in no universe would this cute lil maid be making eyes at heavily-masked Mo Xuanyu when unmasked, radiant, filthy-rich Lan Wangji is right there to be smiled at.

Jin Guangyao greets everyone and some dancers start doing their thing; mercifully, possessed Wei Wuxian refrains from hitting on the dancers. As soon as Jin Guangyao starts to circulate through the room, Nie Huaisang has an epic nervous breakdown all over him, which is even better entertainment than the dancers.

This gives Wei Wuxian the cover he needs to slip out of the hall unnoticed. Well, as long as nobody notices Lan Wangji's obvious pining.

Fight Club

The prophecy foretells that into each generation of Jins will be born one douchebag cousin. Jin Chan is the douchebag cousin of his generation.

Jin Chan accuses "Mo Xuanyu" of being a sex pest, and Wei Wuxian suddenly understands why the plot made him act so OOC at the party. Mo Xuanyu wasn't really a sex pest; he was a regular pest, trying to get information out of Qin Su, not trying to seduce her. But he doesn't know that yet. In other adaptations Mo Xuanyu is gay, but CQL exists in a strange censorship-created realm in which gayness is pervasive but never mentioned, and therefore there is no homophobia. So nobody would care if Mo Xuanyu was gay.

When Wei Wuxian realizes what Mo Xuanyu did, he thinks "Mo Xuanyu, do you want to die?"

Nice choice of idiom, Wei Wuxian. I believe we have firmly established that yes, Mo Xuanyu absolutely did want to die.

The show is kind of vague, verbally, about whether Wei Wuxian 2.0 has a golden core. But there are a lot of moments that strongly suggest he does, at this point, have a functioning core.

This rock attack is, I hope, one of those moments, or else Jin Chan is a total pussy, getting knocked back by landscape gravel.

Next, Wei Wuxian shows Jin Ling the super-secret move known as "arm twisting," which Jin Ling, as an only child, has never encountered before.

Anyone with siblings is very familiar with this move.

Because this is The Untamed, this move should be executed with extra spinning whenever possible.

Jin Ling learns the move right away, and uses it to win the scuffle.

Avuncular

After the fight, Wei Wuxian sits with Jin Ling for a chat, and gives him the classic uncle advice "have as many fights as possible while you're young, because when you're older you'll have to be mature and get along with people."

I love Wei Wuxian so much.

For contrast, Jin Ling says that Jin Guangyao tells him not to get in fights. This makes Wei Wuxian seem like the cooler elder, but it also has a more sinister element, of Jin Guangyao holding Jin Ling back. Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian grew up constantly fighting with each other--sparring as well as informal fights, presumably. And their cultivation was super strong, partly as a result of that.

Wei Wuxian takes the opportunity to tell Jin Ling that he's not in love with Qin Su any more, because he's transferred his affections to someone else. Obviously Hanguang-Jun is the someone else, given that they've been inseparable for weeks. To keep Jin Ling from yelling while he explains, he clamps his hand over Jin Ling's mouth.

The thing is, in order to effectively clamp your hand over someone's mouth, there has to be something behind them--a wall, the mattress, your own torso, or something else solid. Otherwise they can just jerk their head backwards to get away from your hand. Or they can stand up and walk away, even.

Jin Ling, hilariously, does not realize this, and spends a ridiculously long time sitting still and making angry faces while Wei Wuxian rests his hand on his face.

Spy Game

Later that night, Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji get ready for some shenanigans.

Not the sexy kind, alas, just some paperman snooping.

Wei Wuxian, because he's facing serious danger, is feeling extra playful and cute, and he takes time to goof around with Lan Wangji before getting down to business.

In paperman form, he's able to do some things that the censors overlook, including tugging on Lan Wangji's headband and apparently blowing him a kiss. In the book and the donghua, he catches onto Lan Wangji's lip on his way down his face, too.

One thing that's kind of muted in the live action as compared to the novel is how much Lan Wangji enjoys Wei Wuxian's childish and playful behavior. Lan Wangji never got to be playful as a child, but with Wei Wuxian he can cut loose--which he does mostly in the sack or when they're drinking together. But even when he stays in control of himself, he likes Wei Wuxian's silliness.

He tells Paper-Xian, tenderly, to be very careful, before he sends him on his way.

The Adventures of Paperman

The CGI department outdoes itself with paperman, making an animated character so adorable I'd be happy to watch a whole episode of him.

Paper-Xian sneaks into JGY's study and pokes around, finding an empty envelope. Then he listens and watches while Qin Su stumbles in, retching.

She's followed closely by Jin Guangyao; they proceed to have an absolutely fucking endless argument in which the words "sister," "brother," "incest" "rapist dad" are never said, instead using vagueburger phrasing like "this matter."

Jin Guangyao does freely admit to killing their kid, though, and wants to know who told Qin Su about it so he can kill them, too. She won't tell him, shockingly.

Jin Guangyao ends the fight by putting a paralysis spell on his wife and then making her go to sleep with another spell, which is the cultivator equivalent of saying "I've said what I had to say and I need some space."

He takes her into a secret room where he is also keeping a bunch of talisman-protected stuff and a shockingly small number of books.

Seriously, as a person who has way too many books, I am personally offended by the way Jin Guangyao wastes shelf space in his secret room.

As Paper-Xian sneaks around the room, Jin Guangyao helpfully pulls aside the curtain covering the shelf with Nie Mingjue's head on it, so he can grouse at NMJ for (figuratively) haunting him. Seriously? Dude, you keep a guy's head on your bookshelf, he gonna haunt ya.

The episode ends with Paper-Xian bowing (adorably) to Nie Mingjue, and then sitting laying on his face, which would make BOTH Lan brothers jealous if they found out.

Soundtrack: Ring the Alarm, by Beyonce; Blister in the Sun, by the Violent Femmes

[hetrosjistin]

All of you talking about how Alastor is bound to Lilith are sleeping on Zestial.

Seriously, all of you are ignoring ALL the signs. Been talking this over with a friend several nights in a row, and it's such a better theory than assuming that Lilith owns him (that's not to say that Alastor and Lilith aren't in cahoots SOMEHOW, but that's something for another post)

Now there's not a large sample size, but let's start with this one. Alastor's contract chains do not match his emissive colors at all, nor the colors of his magic. He has red and black as his demonic magic motif. Why does this matter? Well the only other sample we have for contract magic is Valentino with his smoke chains on Angeldust, which is identical to his magic.

Above you can see Valentino's emissive color, the color of his magic in full force, and the color of his contract magic. Now let's do this with Alastor

Emissive colors, magic colors when he's personally about to fuck someone up without calling on his shadow minions... and... his contract magic... huh...

Extra ones of him doing deals with charlie as a bonus:

So a bit of wild theory crafting now.

What happens if you are bound to someone else and you go around and get someone to sell their soul to you? What if your soul contracts roll up to the guy who owns your soul? So your contract magic uses THEIR colors?

Okay, then who DOES have the same emissive colors (those used for magic in almost every case).

Zestial is the only one who comes close, even if he's more yellowy, I blame that on the overall lighting of the scene.

Further evidence?

The ONLY time Alastor looks even REMOTELY frightened is when he's speaking with Zestial. Even when he's with other overlords he's irreverant and playful, NOT with Zestial, he's cagey, he's polite, he's watching what he says.

Further, during this conversation the subtext is CONSTANTLY on a back and forth of 'oh I know where you've been, and YOU know where you've been, but we're in public so we have to speak in code' plus the scene CONSTANTLY focuses on the fact of how they are under observation either by direct persons or through electronic means (but stealthily elides this by implying it's just the impact 2 overlords walking around in public would have on society)

Oh, and did you notice? The demonic stitching that appears on Alastor's body? Same style as the stitching we see Zestial's hat and other bits of clothing.

Then there's the fact that he's one of the only characters with consistent COLOR THEMING to his songs, whenever he does songs, (ESPECIALLY those having to do with deals or trying to maintain his deals), he's got green and... purple?

Why the fuck purple? Purple doesn't turn up anywhere. This is where the theory falls apart a little, but if I had to guess? It's an allusion to something. What could it be?

But why then is his contract magic showing in these songs? Does Zestial have some deep interest in the hotel?

I think not, but Alastor has very DEEP contract related reasons for his interest.

Let's take a quick aside to another of Alastor's song pieces. Let's consider the pit as Alastor prepares to leave his tower during his breakdown song in the season finale. The center of Alastor's power is his broadcast tower, it's painted everywhere in his colors, from top to bottom. The last time he sang in here, all of his emissive colors were black and red... hell, even when he ENTERED it, it was HIS colors.

but now with him beaten, broken, and focused on the deal he so desperately wants to escape...

Oh look, Zestial's colors again.

Alastor's power is a shadow cast by Zestial's light. He is chained to it, it's what keeps him alive and gives him his power... but all the same, he wants out.

He's looking for a loophole. A way out of the deal.

If you get to heaven, can a Overlord still own you soul?

This helps explain why Alastor was willing to come out of hiding fo the hotel, why he's so nervous around Zestial, why Zestial is poking for reasons, subtly, about what the fuck Alastor is doing in their conversation with one another going to the overlord's meeting.

So smart money says that Alastor made a deal with Zestial before he died, and became Zestial's catspaw. How was he able to fuck up everything and everyone he came across the moment he turned up? Because he had a tutor and a big old battery backstopping him. Zestial is the most subtle of the overlords, he wants to remain in the background, he wants to play things safe and is always happy to be underestimated and underrated... so he comes along and takes the hammiest, loudest, most attention grabbing soul he has in his portfolio the moment they get down to Hell, and puts him to work CLEANING HOUSE.

[quitealotofsodapop]

I had an idea, but idk enough about the Camel Ridge Trio in the book to actually consider if it's a feasible idea or not. This ties into the various asks about Wukong revealing to the Pilgrims that Macaque is his mate and he was effectively abandoned by his friends and family without being aware he had done so.

So... like I said, I'm not sure when the Camel Ridge trio come into the book or even how their interaction with the Primgrims went... but I like the idea that perhaps it initially started out as seemingly friendly. Perhaps, despite them believing Wukong to be a traitor, they were initially willing to give him the benefit of the doubt and introduced themselves as Wukong's sworn brothers and 'real family.' Wukong, more aware after all this time, is seeing red flags but tries to wave them off because he's just so happy too see his brothers again after all this time, even if the way Azure seems oddly possessive with his interactions with Wukong and Wukong is visibly a hit nervous because alarm bells are going off but he's not sure why because that's Azure, his brother!

The first pilgrim to notice this and become sus, however, is Zu Baije. He is, by far, the most emotionally mature and experienced person when it comes to matters of romance, and he can recognize what's happening a mile away. Mainly because once upon a time, he'd been in Azure's shoes and had sworn to never let himself get that low again. He keeps quiet, silently watching the two interact, noticing how Azure likes to put his claws on Wukong's shoulder in a possessive manor or how his smile seems a little too false and strained when talking.

Things come to a head when it's time to leave, and Azure is not willing to let Wukong go, even going so far as to grab at his arm and make him flinch, yelling that he belongs with them, his brothers, and not as a Divine Pet! At that point, Zu Baije has had enough. If anything can make Wukong, of all beings, flinch in fear, it's got to go! He forcibly puts himself between Wukong and Azure, demanding Azure keep his paws off his brother and just what makes the giant lion think he has the right to force Wukong to do anything!

"He already told ya he needed to go on this journey for his freedom and redemption and why that's important. You've got no right to deny Brother Monkey his autonomy like that!"

"Cute words coming from a Marshall who is holding him prisoner on a divine leash!"

Afterwards, Wukong will probably have one of his rare breakdowns and confess that the whole "coup against the Emperor" thing Zu Baije had been holding over his head since the moment they had met had been Azure's idea and Wukong had been the figurehead to the rebellion, the person they rallied behind, while Azure pulled the strings from the shadows. And that means Zu Baije and Sha Wuking both have a sudden epiphany that Wukong, while not innocent, had not been at fault for the war!

It takes them a long while to convince Wukong that he'd been deceived and molded into a scapegoat by Azure before he was abandoned

I just want some protective Zu Baije stamding up to the Lion Man because Wukong is most definitely in turmoil

ohoohohohooh

Protective Zhu Bajie my beloved

The LMK Camel Ridge Trio deciding (mostly from Yellowtusk and Macaque's suggestion); "Hey this monk guy sounds cool, lets hear him out for a dinner" and letting the Pilgrims into their city with open arms.

Tripitaka is super on edge, cus in the book; Lion Camel Ridge is a literal city of man-eating demons decorated like the house from Texas Chainsaw Massacre. This monk hyperventilating, using his hat like a paper bag to breathe into.

Dinner goes smooth enough, but convo quickly gets heated especially when the Trio start speaking as though Wukong is there to stay.

Wukong himself, although initially touched that his sworn bros seem to have forgiven him, politely explains that the reason he's on this Journey in the first place is so he can grow as a person. He can't see himself growing if he's in the shadow of his past.

Azure does not like this.

Azure: "But brother! You need to stay! With the heavenly host you will forever be seen as no more than a convict. Here in Camel Ridge you are so much more! A hero, a warrior, a revolutionary, a paragon for our kind!" Wukong, uneasy: "Gee, I'm really not sure I should-" Azure, gets on one knee and clasps his hands over Wukong's: "Not only that. You can be our King. Forever more." Wukong, oblivious to Azure's implications: "???" Zhu Bajie, sus from the start: "OKAY THAT'S IT! WE'RE LEAVING!" (*picks up Wukong like he weighs nothing*) Sha Wujing, trying to be polite: "Thank you for the meal Mr Lion sir! But we really have to continue on to-" Peng and Yellowtusk: (*move to block door*) The Pilgrims: (*share looks of "oh sh-t"*)

Azure: "I'm afraid I have no intention of you leaving with our brother leashed to your hands."

And ofc a huge verbal and physical altercation occurs over the matter.

Depending on the AU; this could be when Macaque gets involved with the Pilgrims and tries to mediate, only to agree with his brothers that Wukong's travel companions do have an unfair incentive on him (the circlet).

In Post Jttw Stone Egged Au; this is def the point where Macaque decides: "Man, screw y'all. I'm going with these guys. I ain't hanging around another half-millenia without my mate." And Macaque is sick of seeing Azure treat Wukong like he owns him! At least the monk gave him the option of leaving (even if the weenie almost immediately got eaten).

Macaque and Azure 100% have their own Kaiju battle over the matter.

[flowerandblood]

Sweet kiss, sweet blood (8)

[ dark vampire! • Aemond x female ]

[ warnings: sex content, angst, smut, masturbation, fluff ]

[description: A centuries-old vampire lives in Victorian England, bored and discouraged. His old friend sends him a letter, inviting him to his new country house. Aemond arrives there to rest. Next to the property, there is a small chapel, visited by the faithful. It turns out that at night, a young lady prays in it. Slow burn, sexual tension, profanation, murder, blood drinking.]

I owe the idea for this wonderful series to: @qyburnsghost

* English is not my first language. Please, do not repost. Enjoy! *

Previous and next chapters: Masterlist

_____

After two days of traveling they were in London. She pretended not to notice him taking a few sips once in a while from the bottle that he had hidden inside his coat. She knew it wasn't alcohol.

As they entered the city she couldn't believe it was really happening. She ran away, abandoned her family, started a new life. From hour to hour she experienced a nervous breakdown, then felt joy again.

She even cried into his shoulder a few times, but he sat beside her, calm, his arm around her, kissing her hair, wiping away her tears with his leather-gloved hands.

"I will not hurt you. I promise." He repeated it like a mantra, and for some reason she believed him.

She decided it was pointless to bring someone from so far away and hide them for the sake of blood. He could find plenty of women like her in London where it was easier to disappear in a crowd.

He told her on the way about how he saw it. He said he'd help her find a job. He wanted her to live in his townhouse where he'd give her a room of her own, at least until she got used to the situation and earned enough money to rent. He immediately proposed that she just live with him, but she refused to agree.

That was not the deal.

They arrived at his house late in the evening. His townhouse was beautiful, brick, all white with blue details, large windows with many quarters and a navy blue door with a knocker.

He opened the door and let her in first, taking off his top hat. The coachman helped them carry their luggage inside, then left them alone, closing the door behind him.

They undressed slowly and looked at each other, an awkward silence between them. Aemond knew she was still afraid of him, and he decided that he shouldn't touch her just yet to try to regain some of her trust.

He motioned for her to come upstairs with him and lead her to the room that he thought would be most suitable for her. It was light and airy, with a wonderful view of the busy street and huge windows.

It was the main bedroom in the house, but he didn't sleep in it because too much light came in through the windows. He thought it would be perfect place for her. He said he would order a dressing table for her in the coming days, and until then she had been able to use the mirror that was in the bathroom. He told her to make herself comfortable and leave her alone, wanting to let her get used to the situation.

Miss Whaterfield closed the door behind him, sighing heavily. She sat on her bed and lay on her back.

She did it.

She ran away.

She was with him at his townhouse.

With a vampire.

She thought she was a stupid idiot, feeling somehow happy and excited at the thought. She decided that even if her life were to end quickly, at least she would experience something interesting, intense. She sighed softly and began to unpack slowly.

She put her books and things on the shelves, hung her gowns and chemises in the wardrobes, although she had few of them, so as not to arouse suspicions of her parents.

She thought that she had no maid here and would have to do everything herself. Fortunately, when her sister still lived in their family home, Mathylda could not keep up with her duties and she was able to take care of herself. She felt there was something liberating about that independence.

When she was done, she locked the door and checked to make sure it didn't open. She sighed softly as she decided that it did, though she thought that if he wanted to it probably wouldn't have stopped him anyway.

She stripped off her gown and let her hair down as she changed into her nightgown. She slid under the sheets, covering herself tightly with it up to her head and stared at the view from the window. She felt very tired and excited at the same time.

She turned from side to side, but she couldn't sleep. Every creaking of the floor made her jump up and look towards the door. She heard him going up and down. She guessed that this was the time of his greatest activity and as long as she was with him she had to get used to it.

She sighed, laying back down, closing her eyes. Even though it was quiet at last, she couldn't sleep. She could still feel him kissing her hungrily. How willingly she responded to his tenderness, with what devotion she threw herself into his arms. She didn't know what had happened to her. The thought of having him at her fingertips made her want him.

She pursed her lips and lay down on her stomach, her hand hesitantly slipping between her thighs. A pleasant shiver went through her as she began to massage herself as he had done it in the chapel. She came this way many times since, getting a little more familiar with her body and how it reacts. The relaxation she felt after such caresses was indescribable.

She wondered if she would go to him he would touch her like that again. Would he give her pleasure again and then drink her blood. A cold shiver ran through her at the thought, but she also felt a throbbing between her thighs.

She sped up her movements, moaning, breathing quickly into the pillow, imagining him coming to her and touching her again. She was surprised at how quickly and hard she came, a soft, sweet moan escaped her lips. Only after she calmed down did she fall into a blissful sleep, her hand still between her thighs.

She woke up in the morning and looked around, wondering where she was. She sat up and looked around her new room. She thought it was really beautiful and airy in the daylight, lovely floral wallpaper all around her. She pursed her lips, listening carefully to the sounds of the house, but heard nothing.

She got up slowly, walking over to her wardrobe, taking out her simple home dress which consisted of a nice white shirt and a long black skirt. She braided her hair back, leaving some loose. She couldn't have gotten a prettier haircut until she had her dressing table with a mirror, but she figured she could walk around his house as she did now.

She quietly turned the key in the lock and peered through the door, scanning the corridor. She imagined his house as a spooky castle, but everything around her was bright and tidy. She decided that with a little dusting this property would be really beautiful.

She walked slowly down the stairs towards the kitchen. She saw on the table by the stove a package with a piece of paper on which she recognized his handwriting.

"Eat something from what I bought."

She looked inside and saw lots of different fruits, breads, eggs, hams and cheeses. She decided that it was too much for one person and probably some would be wasted. She wondered if he ate human food, but looking around the kitchen and seeing the complete emptiness she decided that probably not.

She sighed softly, taking the apple in her hand and began to eat it, looking around the room. She could cook a little, she thought if she read a few books she might try to make some simple dish.

She went up the stairs to the ground floor, continuing to eat her apple, looking around. She decided that she would spend the day acclimatizing and thinking about what to do next.

She was grateful that he didn't knock on her door at night, giving her at least a minimal sense of security and privacy. She thought that whoever he was, he had done her a huge favor. She felt that she should repay him in some way.

She figured that she'd clean up as much as possible. She'll wash the curtains, dust, wash the floors. She'll show him that she's really was capable of living on her own, so he won't keep her by force for long. She knew he would prolong her stay with him, not wanting to hear of her renting anything herself.

He told her not to go out without him just yet. She was afraid to walk around the city alone, so she decided that maybe it was the smartest thing to do.

She was just putting the books back on the big bookshelf she had wiped down, when she heard footsteps on the stairs. She turned and met his surprised gaze. She thought he couldn't help but be curious about the noise downstairs and came to see what was happening.

"What are you doing?" He asked in surprise, walking down to the room, looking around, seeing that something had changed, but he wasn't quite sure what.

"I'm cleaning your house. In gratitude for your favor." She said, going back to arranging his books. She wiped the thick volumes covered in dust and slipped them in back one by one. Aemond approached her uncertainly, keeping his distance.

"I'm not going to make you my servant." He spoke hesitantly, as if he was afraid that she thought that as long as she was with him she had to serve him in gratitude. She looked at him gently and smiled.

"I know." She said calmly, as she continued her work.

She shivered as she heard him walk closer to her. He avoided the sunlight that streamed through the windows, walking in the shade. She didn't look at him, but she could feel him standing behind her, looking at her intensely. She felt her heart pounding fast, a pleasant squeeze spread through her lower abdomen.

Her whole body shivered as he placed his cold hand on her shoulder. She felt him rest his forehead against the back of her head, his nose in her hair, inhaling her scent. She slowed her movements a bit, pretending not to feel anything as she grabbed next books. His other hand cupped her waist, his fingers on her stomach. She inhaled sharply at the feeling.

"I desire you." He whispered low, hesitantly, his voice trembling slightly. She inhaled sharply at his words. She wondered what he meant.

"How do you desire me?" She asked indifferently, sliding the small book back into the slot from which she had pulled it.

She felt his hand on her stomach pressing her against him. Even through her gowns she could feel his manhood all hard. She swallowed at the sensation, feeling the wetness between her thighs.

"In every way." He whispered, his face sliding down to her neck, planting wet, sticky kisses on it. Her body tensed, wondering if he was going to bite her and drink her blood again. She flinched as his nose moved to her ear.

"I still want to marry you. I want to live with you as with a wife." He whispered.

She felt her throat go dry at his words. His hand from her stomach slid down her skirt, between her thighs, starting to massage her through the thick fabric.

Despite the physical layers that separated her from his hand, her body responded with a strong thrill of pleasure. She rested her hand on the ledge in front of her, breathing uneasily, his pulsing manhood beginning to rub against her buttocks.

She thought that her parents were no longer with her to moralize her. She was responsible for her actions only to herself and God. She decided that she had never wanted anyone in her life as much as him. That she wanted it to be him, just this once.

"Take me to your bedroom." She whispered helplessly, and he moaned low, surprised, a strong shiver ran through his body at her words.

He spun her around to face him and grabbed her hips, lifting her up, heading for the stairs. She hugged him tightly and buried her face in his neck, feeling how her heart was pounding.

How badly she wanted it.

He opened the door with one hand without even closing it. His bedroom was smaller and darker, curtains blocking out the light completely, everything was in semi-darkness.

He laid her down on his bed, staring at her with his mouth slightly parted. He pulled his nightgown over his head with a confident movement, leaving him in only his boots and trousers. She swallowed hard at the sight and looked away, ashamed to see the naked body of a men before her for the first time in her life.

She thought that he was impossibly handsome, her thighs clenching tighter at the sight. She heard him take off his boots and climb onto the bed, straddling her without crushing her with his body.

His pale, cold fingers began to slowly undo the fabric of her white shirt. He looked at her, his gaze black and uncertain, full of something that made her shiver pleasantly.

"Are you sure?" He asked softly, as if he didn't believe this was happening and was hesitating himself whether they should do it. She nodded at his words.

"Yes. I can't stand it any longer." She whispered. He moaned softly at her words and pressed his lips to her mouth hungrily, parting the fabric of her shirt, exposing her breasts to him.

He broke away from her with a sticky click to look at her soft, pale breasts, his hand involuntarily grabbing one of them, squeezing it gently. She moaned loudly, squirming under him, looking away, surprised by this obscene gesture, feeling juices leaking from her thighs. His other hand grabbed her jaw, forcing her to look at him.

"No. Look how I caress you. What can I do with your body if you only wish." He hummed low as he leaned over her, his tongue brushing over her nipple, making her arch back in pleasure.

His mouth tightened on her breast, sucking her intensely, once in a while teasing her nipple again with the tip of his tongue. She moaned helplessly beneath him, stunned by the wonderful sensation that sent heat through her body, her hands clenching tightly against his hair, holding him close.

They both gasped as her hips began to rub against the bulge in his trousers, throbbing hard beneath her. Aemond lifted up the fabric of her skirt and nightgown impatiently, exposing her naked thighs.

He pulled away from her breasts, licking his lips, kneeling between her thighs, his misty gaze at her entrance dripping with lust. He ran his thumb over it, and she moaned loudly, red with embarrassment, looking away again.

"Look at me." He said dangerously and low, looking at her expectantly.

She swallowed loudly, glancing up at him, her body convulsing as his thumb confidently and painfully slowly spread her juices over her pearl, massaging it in circular, precise motions. She threw her head back and moaned helplessly as she felt his finger inside her again, slipping in and out of her with slow, gentle movements.

"You're so tight. Don't be afraid, we'll take it slow." He whispered, looking at her with a twinkle in his eye that both terrified and aroused her at the same time.

He slid his finger out of her and unfastened his trousers quickly, letting them down just enough to reveal his swollen, throbbing member.

She pursed her lips seeing how big he was, not knowing where to look, her body a complete mess, trembling all over. He smiled in satisfaction at the sight, taking her thighs in his hands, spreading them shamelessly in front of him. She pursed her lips, stifling a moan as his manhood began to rub against her entrance, sticky all over in her juices.

"Fear not, Miss Whaterfield. I'm sure all of it will fit inside you. Would you like to try how it feels?” He purred, his lower lip parted in desire, she felt his lenght throbbing against her skin in desperation to feel her.

She swallowed hard, disbelieving what she was doing, and nodded, her hands clasping the sheets at the sides of her head.

He grunted in satisfaction at her agreement, his gaze returning between her thighs. His hands parted the skin of her entrance slightly to the sides, as he tried to insert the tip of his member into her.

She sobbed softly, closing her eyes as she felt it. She opened her mouth wide in a silent moan as she felt him enter her a little, filling her to the limit, stretching her throbbing, wet muscles. He groaned low feeling it, and squeezed his eye shut for a moment as if to remember the moment.

"Just like that. Such a good girl." He whispered in delight, feeling her clench tighter around him, her greedily wet, hot walls pulsating around his manhood.

He licked his lips at the feeling, his hands gripping her thighs again, spreading them even wider. With difficulty he slid deeper into her, pushing apart her fleshy walls. She squealed softly under him in pain.

"He's too big." She sobbed softly, turning her head to the side, breathing quickly. She felt like he was about to tear her apart.

"Shh. Just a little more. He's almost in." He whispered tenderly, pushing his lenght deeper into her, to the very end, sighing with pleasure.

They were both panting, squirming beneath each other. He leaned over her, looking at her gently. He kissed her softly, comfortingly, soothingly. He brushed her lips, trying to calm her down, not moving an inch inside her, her walls pressed against him desperately. He tried with the last of his strength to simply not cum inside her.

“Look how wonderfully he fits. How well you did." He purred contentedly between sticky kisses, her fingers tightening on the bare skin of his back.

He slid out of her gently, then slid back in again, slowly, all the way. He repeated this simple, deep movement unhurriedly as he looked at her face. Her lips parted helplessly, she panted with him, her walls loosening slightly, allowing him to accelerate.

His hands tightened on her buttocks, thrusting his member inside harder and faster, rubbing her where his finger had touched her before.

"Just like that. Look how delightful it is. How wonderful it is when a men and a woman fuck like that." He gasped, losing control of himself, unable to bear the way her hot, wet womanhood pressed against him.

She moaned under him at his words, involuntarily spreading her thighs wider in front of him, feeling the tension in her lower abdomen reach its zenith.

They were both panting and moaning loudly, the wooden bed creaking beneath them from how brutally and quickly he fucked her. His movements were sure and fierce, his lenght thrusting into her with a wet, perverted slap of her juices.

His thumb teased her clit once in a while, making her lean back in pleasure. He looked at her dreamily, her hair scattered around her face in disarray, her cheeks red, her moist, shiny lips parted in pleasure.

"I'm going to cum in you" He whispered, looking at her with black eye. He was on edge already, his slaps chaotic and loud, fast and animal, her nipples sticking out painfully hard, her hips responding to his every thrust.

"Yes, please, please" She sobbed helplessly, unable to bear the tension in her lower abdomen anymore.

She knew it wasn't wise, but that was all she wanted. She moaned loudly as his thumb sped up, both of them tensing as they felt the impending fulfillment. She saw him squeeze his eye shut as his semen gushed deep inside her.

"Sweet God, yes" He gasped loudly as he cum inside her, his finger massaging her quickly and intensely. Feeling it, she leaned back, mouth parted wide as she mewled loudly feeling a wave of pleasure that she had never known before in her life.

She gasped as she said his name again and again, and he moaned softly above her, feeling her walls pressing against him so tight he couldn't breathe.

He just laid on top of her, crushing her with his body. They were both breathing heavily, trying to calm themselves down, his nose pressed against her cheek.

"Stay with me. Stay with me for eternity."

_____

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(bold means I couldn't tag you)

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[sturniololuv08]

Matthew Sturniolo Short. (Rated R)

"Please, I'm begging you." Chris was in fact on his knees begging me to help him. Normally, I would jump at the chance to help any one of my brothers but this time was different.

"No, I'm not going to help you cheat." I wasn't a cheater myself. So if I helped him cheat wouldn't that make me one?

"I will do anything." Chris was serious about it.

"Why do you even date both of them?" I didn't understand. I don't know if him telling me why would make me understand either but it was worth a shot.

"Aubrey helps me pass my classes and Alexis is like hot." Chris had a smug look on his face. I sighed. As his triplet brother, I knew I had to help. "Hell yeah." He knew by my big sigh he won.

"Which one am I going out with?" I asked. I regretted this so much already but I couldn't let Chris fail his classes and in his defense, Alexis was actually pretty hot.

"Are you gonna change your mind if I say Aubrey?" Chris' face changed to concern.

"I mean no but -"

"Okay, good. Go get dressed." Chris was walking away to do the same but I stopped him.

"Where am I going?" I needed more context to my last-minute booked evening.

"Aubrey loves sushi so I booked us a reservation at Hana Yori."

"I hate sushi." I stuck my hands out like he should know that.

"Then take her to a movie instead." Chris really only cared about passing his classes. Now that I think about it he probably just copied her homework when they were together anyway. I went upstairs and started going through my closet trying to find the most Chris-looking outfit I could. I took off my comfy clothes and started shifting through everything I had. Nothing looked like Chris to me. I wanted to play it safe and chose all-black everything. I had a bad feeling this wasn't going to work. When we were younger we looked alike but since we have grown up we have differences now. I took off my favorite necklace and tucked it away safely. I sat in the mirror and started fluffing my hair to the front of my forehead. It wasn't curling enough to look right. I stared at my reflection getting nervous. I didn't like going out without my brothers. They were my safety net in case I had a literal mental breakdown. Now I was dreading this. I grabbed a hat and lifted my hair back before slipping it on backward. I nodded at myself in the mirror and crept out of my room.

"Going out Chris?" Nick asked. "Woah what?" He noticed his mess up.

"Chris double booked his girlfriends so he needs a fill-in." I rolled my eyes.

"That's crazy." He started laughing. The sound brought me comfort. I laughed a little too. We both went downstairs to see Chris dressed and ready to go. He was dressed less fancy than I was. I gave him a look.

"Alexis and I are Netflix and chilling." He said it humorously.

"Let me get a picture of this." Nick fumbled his phone out.

"No!" Chris and I yelled at the same time. I did not want this coming out to anyone that I purposely dressed or was acting like Chris.

"What if Alexis or Aubrey sees it?" Chris was trying to go undetected. Nick put his phone away.

"Fine but you should probably wear a hoodie and cover those tattoos." I looked at Chris and then myself and saw my ink as the most noticeable difference. I just forget I have them sometimes.

"It would be cool if you didn't mess this up." Chris did pow pow with his fingers at me. 

"Good luck with that." Nick left to go edit the last video we just recorded. I rolled my eyes just regretting all of this deeply. Being Chris' brother was taxing. I grabbed a jacket on the way out the door behind Chris. I drove and dropped him off at Alexis' house. I pulled up the directions to Aubrey's and started feeling my heart race. What do I do if she can tell? Am I supposed to out Chris? This was hands down his worst idea yet. He owed me big time for this. Alexis would have been more fun because she is hot at least but I know that's why Chris wanted to hang out with her. Come to think of it, I have never seen Aubrey. They "study" after school and go on dates every once in a while. Chris just happened to book them both for today like an idiot. I wish Nick still had his dark brown hair then he could do this. That would be some comedy. I smirked to myself at the thought of Nick acting like Chris. I texted Chris and told him to text her he was there. After a few minutes, the front door opened and Aubrey came out to the car. I reached over and opened the door from the inside for her.

"You never drive, this is cool." Fuck. I didn't think about that.

"I wanted tonight to be special." I cringed knowing Chris would never say that. Once she was buckled she turned to look at me and I locked eyes with her. Since this was the first time I had ever seen her I studied her face. She had light brown eyes with tan skin. Her cheeks and nose were dotted with freckles and her hair was falling over her shoulders in little curls. She smiled at me and I instantly felt guilty for lying and helping Chris cheat.

"So where are we going?" Her voice was like honey. Sweet and thick. It swirled around in the air I was suffocating in. "You okay?" She asked me.

"Yeah, I just - wow, you are beautiful," I said. I was sort of speechless because of how good she looked.

"Thank you." She started blushing a little. I shook my head getting back on track to the date.

"We are going to Hana Yori." I decided she deserved a good night and a plain movie date wouldn't be fair to her.

"You are so sweet." She grabbed my hand and held it. I let her. We arrived at the restaurant and were seated fast. I almost said 'Matt' when checking in but she was playing on her phone so it went unnoticed.

"What sushi are you getting?" I asked her. I hated sushi and didn't know anything about any kind so I was probably going to copy her choice.

"Would you find it cliche to get the California roll?" She did a little giggle.

"I think I'll get that too." I smiled. All I could think was how could Chris justify cheating on her she was so beautiful and she was clearly smart if she could keep Chris from failing his classes. The dinner passed and I casually hid little pieces of sushi all over the table and even dropped a couple on the floor to be extra discreet. She talked most of the time but I liked listening to her. I was learning about her family and her pet cat. She told me about how she was nervous for a test because if she failed she wouldn't be able to apply for a certain college she wanted. She talked about her parents fighting and how she couldn't wait to leave the house for good. She was a real person and it was cool to see her emotions change while going through the ups and downs of her week.

"Chris?" I snapped back to reality.

"Yeah?" I asked back.

"Are you okay? I usually don't do all of the talking."

"I'm good. I just like hearing about you. It's dope." I don't know why I kept thinking Chris talked so weird but I was nervous and that's what I was blaming it on.

"Dope?" She laughed. Her laugh was a little ugly but it was defining which was cool.

"You ready to go?" I asked looking at her empty plate. She nodded. While paying I made a mental note of how much it cost because I was definitely making Chris pay me back for helping him out.

"Are you sure you are okay? You are a little quieter than normal." She grabbed my hand and started swinging it back and forth with hers as we walked to the car.

"Yeah, I'm just enjoying my night with you." That wasn't entirely a lie. I had heard some things about her from Chris before but he failed to mention how perfect she was. It did make sense though with some extra thought. Chris and I don't like the same girls. Alexis is hot but I find her very bleak and dumb. I just assumed Aubrey was ugly because Chris never described her as anything other than smart. I wasn't sure what I was expecting but Aubrey wasn't it. She was quiet in the car ride to her house. I played some random rap over the Bluetooth hoping it was something Chris would normally vibe with her. I saw her looking at me a lot; it was making me nervous I was caught. We might be triplets but growing up in that scenario you try to be your own person every chance you get. If you knew one of us well it wasn't hard to tell the other two apart.

"Do you want to come in?" She was a little shy in asking. This is where it got tricky. I knew what going inside meant. The hardest part is Chris wouldn't say no. Chris was a lot more open with girls. He was himself and girls just gravitated towards him. It made me so envious he never had to try. "Chris? Do you want to come inside?" I had to make a choice.

"Yeah, sure." I sighed hard after she stepped out of the van. I turned the key and stepped out. She opened her front door and looked back at me before entering.

"We have to be quiet, my parents are upstairs." She whispered. I nodded letting her know I understood. We shuffled through the house. It was dark and since I had never been here before I held her hand getting tugged along. She opened a door and clicked a light switch showing stairs. We took the stairs down to the basement where she flipped another light on. The basement was completely finished with carpet, furniture, and a mini movie theater-looking living area. "You can take your shoes and jacket off." She said doing the same.

"I'm a bit cold so I'll keep the jacket." I couldn't take it off because of the tattoos Nick pointed out earlier.

"Well, at least come sit down." She chuckled. She grabbed my jacket and pulled me on top of her.

"Woah," I said holding myself up to create some space between our bodies. "I shouldn't -"

"Come on. What is with you?" She slapped my chest playfully. I sadly only had one good excuse which was the truth but that would cause problems for Chris and I didn't want to let my brother down. I looked into her eyes and saw the little twinkle pleading for me, well, Chris technically. Her freckles were even cuter up close. She was looking all around my face waiting for my response.

"Nothing," I said going for it. What was the harm in one kiss? I closed the space between us and connected our lips. She immediately engaged with my motions and kissed me back. She started tugging at my jacket trying to get it off. Instead of taking it off, I started tugging at her daisy-printed dress to divert her attention. She slipped out of her dress and pecked me once.

"Are you going to -" She was blushing. This was it. We were caught. Instead of answering her, I started sucking on her neck to buy time. I had to think of a good excuse to leave before things got too serious. She grabbed my pants and unbuttoned them. I tried to keep them held up but she had both her hands tugging them off. Once I was down to my compression shorts she didn't hesitate to slip her hand down my chest to under the waistband to my boner. In my absolute defense, I haven't had a girlfriend in a long time so this kind of touching and kissing hasn't happened to me in a while. "Take your jacket off." She whispered in my ear before kissing my neck. It was when she lightly bit me that I lost all regard for Chris in this situation and fell into the moment. I threw my jacket and shirt on the floor in one big heap. She slipped off her bra and I kissed her breast for a second before making my way back up past her jaw to her mouth. While our mouths were connected I carefully moved us to the chaise lounge part of the couch so she could lay down all the way. She reached for a blanket and tossed it over us. Once I was covered from the waist down I felt more comfortable taking off the rest of my clothing. Aubrey did the same. I looked at her one more time trying to get permission. She smiled and rested her hand on the back of my waist and pulled me into her. I held myself on my forearms and slowly rocked my hips into hers. She was moaning and scratching my back. Nothing about this felt wrong. When she was getting too loud I kissed her so she wouldn't alert her parents.

"I'm close." I realized my reckless behavior by not using a condom. I lifted myself so I could pull out in time. She reached and gripped my arms. I visually saw her face change to question when she noticed the tattoos.

"Nick?" She questioned.

"Matt," I said still moving on top of her. I was caught and not sure how she was going to take it.

"Oh my god Matt." She involuntarily curled into my chest and I felt her orgasm. I wasn't expecting any of this to happen and I too was suddenly orgasming. I laid down next to her on the couch and looked at her. I stared into her eyes as they darted all over my face. "You're Matt?" She finally asked.

"Yeah." The truth was out. I was waiting for her to freak out or something but she didn't.

"Where is Chris?" I had to give him up now.

"I didn't want to tell you this but I kind of have to now. He -"

"He is seeing Alexis." She interrupted me.

"He is, yeah. Wait. You know?" I was caught off guard by her nonchalant tone.

"I had a feeling. At school, they were always hanging out. I just put it together."

"Why would you stay with him?" I leaned up on one elbow.

"Chris is like super popular. I just wanted to be considered cool." She wasn't showing confidence anymore. She looked nervous being honest with me even after the moment we just shared.

"You are cool," I said excitedly.

"I've never met you before today." She was being skeptical. "You are just saying that because we fucked." She gripped the blanket that was covering her up tighter. She stared up at the plain white ceiling.

"No, no, no. That's not it." I felt so bad for everything tonight. This poor girl has been used by Chris for months and she just put up with it because she wanted friends. And now she probably feels like I used her too. "I had so much fun tonight."

"Really?" She looked back at me. Her big puppy dog eyes were looking for approval.

"Yeah." I smiled softly. "I hate sushi though." She giggled.

"But you ate it?"

"No, I threw it under the table." She full-on laughed again and I knew I was making her feel better.

"Why did you pretend to be Chris?" My heart leaped a little.

"Honestly, I don't know. You might not believe this but I am not like this. I didn't want to do it. He begged me to."

"And he's your brother." She was understanding.

"Yeah." I sighed. I was super mad at myself for going along with Chris' stupid plan. I should have known immediately because it was Chris that nothing was going to go well. There was an uncomfortable silence. "I'm going to get going." I couldn't tell if she wanted me there anymore. I wouldn't blame her for wanting some space to think about everything. I started getting dressed again.

"Matt?" Her voice was hesitant.

"Yeah?" I stopped tugging my jacket on to give her my full attention.

"I had fun tonight too." She played with her hair and looked nervous.

"I'll call you soon Aubrey." I felt better at flirting since I was being myself. I snuck out of the house fast and got into the van. I was smiling super hard and I couldn't stop. Aubrey was amazing. She was beautiful and smart and her life wasn't crazy. She was a lot like me I learned over dinner tonight. I hope Chris isn't mad at me but I think I like her. I didn't think I could because Chris likes her too. At least, I think he does. I got home and instantly ran into Nick and Chris in the kitchen.

"How was it?" Nick asked first.

"Did she figure it out?" Chris looked a little worried.

"She did." I had lied enough tonight. It was exhausting.

"Fuck." Chris started pacing the kitchen floor. "Was she mad?" He ran his fingers through his hair stressed.

"I don't think so?" I ran my fingers through my hair in thought about everything that happened and what was said between Aubrey and I.

"What does that mean?"

"She like already knew you were seeing Alexis."

"What? Then why would she not say something?"

"She was using your status to be cool." I tossed my jacket on the couch.

"That's crazy." Nick finally chimed in.

"Yeah, so it's all fair. You used her for good grades and she used you to be cool. I am going to go shower." I started walking away but Nick stopped me.

"Why is your shirt inside out?" He had a silly look on his face.

"I... uh... um..." What was I supposed to say?

"Matt?" Chris came closer to Nick and I.

"Look she thought I was you the whole time until..."

"Until what?" Nick and Chris said at the same time.

"Until we had sex... and she saw my tattoos." I just needed to be out with it.

"What?" Chris yelled. I couldn't tell if it was an angry one or just disbelief.

"Matty, Matty, Matty." Nick shook his head back and forth.

"She thought I was you." I was getting defensive.

"I told you to take her on a date not fuck her," Chris yelled back.

"It was fine until she saw my tattoos." I wasn't sure what else to say. Chris finally showed his true feelings about the situation when he started laughing. Nick was lost along with myself.

"This is insane." Chris kept laughing. I couldn't explain why but my nerves were at an all-time high. Even though Chris didn't seem upset in the slightest I felt like I was in trouble. I think Nick took notice of this and wrapped an arm around me.

"How do you feel about your date?" He asked.

"It was fine. We got sushi." I wasn't hungry even though I didn't eat yet.

"Do you like her?" Chris composed himself.

"I don't... I mean... I could." I stuttered.

"Look bud it's okay if you do. You said it yourself I was only using her to pass a few classes."

"I really just want to go shower." I wanted some time to think about it all. This was going to be a hard thing to resolve.

"Don't take too long, I wanna talk more about this." Chris shook my shoulder and I shrugged out of it. I escaped upstairs but still heard Chris and Nick laughing about it. How could they be laughing and calm? I finished showering and took notice of the silence in the house when I got out. I felt better. I think for this situation to make any sense at all I just have to admit I like her to her and Chris. I slipped into bed and got comfortable. I sighed. "So you like her?" I jumped.

"Jesus, what are you doing?" I rolled over to see Chris cozy shirtless in my bed.

"I told you I wasn't done talking about it." He was unreadable.

"What now?" I rolled my eyes as a reflex even though it was dark in the room and he couldn't see it.

"So tell me more about the date."

"Chris." I groaned.

"Pwease tell me." He asked in a baby voice.

"We went to eat. She talked the whole time. I was nervous I would say something wrong. I went to drop her off and she asked me to come inside. I figured you would so I did."

"Go on."

"We were talking in the basement and she just jumped me. I didn't think you would say no so I didn't."

"But you wanted to?"

"At first yeah. Then it got serious and it wasn't -"

"Wasn't what?"

"Nothing. I can't believe we are even talking about this. It's late. Go to bed." I rolled away from him. I didn't care if he slept in here I just wanted him to shut up. I didn't want to tell him about how nice it was or that I enjoyed it.

"If you like her, and I mean genuinely like her, I want you to know you have my blessing." I felt him shifting in the bed. We went to bed in silence.

In the morning I woke up alone in bed. I heard everyone moving downstairs. I wasn't ready to have an awkward day with Chris. I sulked downstairs to see everyone in a good mood.

"Morning." Nick ruffled my hair and I swatted him away.

"Morning," I mumbled. I avoided looking at Chris.

"Any plans today guys? Let's film the jello video." Nick suggested right away. He always kept us on track for videos. We weren't blowing up or anything but he was going to make sure we did.

"I can but not until after five I have a date with Aubrey." Chris sipped his soda. My head shot in his direction to see if he was serious. "She messaged me last night wanting to hang out." He shrugged.

"Wow. Okay." I sighed. I was actually mad at him. I couldn't tell what game he was playing but I was not too fond of it. I was jealous.

"Can we film it after five then?" Nick was playing oblivious to what he just said.

"Yeah, sure." Chris smiled. I couldn't help but stare at him. My brain was trying to analyze what could be going on. Did he suddenly want her because I liked her? Though that wasn't like Chris at all maybe he rethought what he had said last night.

"Matt?" I looked at Nick finally.

"Yeah. I can do the video." I couldn't let him know how bothered I was.

"Great. Meet back in the kitchen around 6:30," Nick instructed. I grabbed a bowl of cereal and escaped into my room. I sat down at my computer table and started journaling my issues with this situation. I couldn't help but feel like it was entirely my fault because I said yes to going on the stupid date. But the more I thought about my night with Aubrey the more I didn't regret it at all. She was so awesome. I wanted to see her again and talk to her and make sure she was doing okay after everything we did. As enjoyable as it was to be intimate with her I felt bad for using my position as Chris to do that, even though it was unplanned entirely. Since I was in my gaming corner I started Twitch streaming out of boredom. A few hundred people started watching and messaging me questions. I was answering some of them for fun as I was shooting zombies.

"I'm fine guys. Just having a really bad mental health day." I answered someone. Everyone started blowing the chat up with sorrys and questions. I silently shot more zombies and relieved my stress. Nick was requesting to be added to the stream. I accepted. Everyone freaked out. I smiled. It was always fun to see the pull we had on people.

"Hey guys! Sorry, but I have to steal Matt. We have a top-secret mission to complete." People started guessing what they assumed it was. "It's just filming Wednesday's video." He gave it up quickly.

"What time is it?" I looked at my phone and saw it wasn't after 5 yet. Chris was still gone. "I guess I have to go now. Bye, everyone." I'm sure Nick had a good reason. I stopped the stream. Nick came into my room unannounced. "Is Chris back?" I asked taking my headphones off.

"No. I just wanted to say something before we start the jello video." I stood up.

"Alright."

"I don't know what Chris is up to but he usually has bad actions for good intentions. So maybe give him the benefit of the doubt on this one."

"Nick, he took her on a date after I made it clear that I liked her."

"Did you make it clear?" He asked.

"I mean it was pretty obvious." I rolled my eyes.

"Either way. I don't think Chris wants to hurt you." He explained.

"Whatever. I'm done talking about it." I shrugged and walked downstairs. He followed me. I turned around and glared at him.

"I have to set up for the video." He raised his hands in defense. He went to the kitchen and started grabbing all the utensils needed. Both of us perked up when the door opened. Chris came inside. He wasn't smiling or frowning. It was weird. "Ready for the video?"

"Yeah. I wanna change quick." He wasn't wearing anything fancy or too cozy so it was hard to decide what kind of date they had. I stayed sitting on the chair in the corner. I scrolled my phone as I felt Nick sneaking glances at me every once in a while. Chris' feet came pattering down the stairs and I looked up. He was wearing pajama pants and a white tee shirt.

"Okay, so this video is gonna be dangerous," Nick said enticingly. I moved to sit at the kitchen island. "We are going to make jello, deaf, mute, and blind." His enthusiasm was over the top for such a bleak idea.

"I'd rather just do a car video." I sighed.

"Same." Chris agreed with me. It annoyed me he was agreeing with me.

"Oh. Okay. Let's do that instead. Get ready." Nick looked disappointed his idea was shot down so quickly. I grabbed a power bank for my phone and the car keys and went to wait for them. Nick was first out hauling the camera bags and snacks. Chris came out with nothing in hand and no visual difference. Probably took a long time doing nothing to avoid me. We set up the camera once we were parked across from CVS. I went to push record but Nick yelled stopping me.

"What?" I looked back wide-eyed.

"What is our topic about?"

"I got one," I said. I wasn't sure if it was a good one but it could get interesting. I pressed record.

"Yippity Yak we are back," Chris said immediately.

"No." Nick was straight. "Matt, since you have the topic you can introduce it, and please hurry so that doesn't happen again." Nick motioned to Chris being weird.

"So, I recently had this happen to me and I thought maybe you guys have gone through the same thing too so talking about it could be -"

"Oh great a mental health video."

"Chris shut the fuck up!" Nick yelled at him.

"Talking about it could be beneficial to you guys."

"Get there." Chris was being extra rude for no reason.

"He's fucking trying!" Nick was in the middle of us, literally and figuratively.

"Alright, so ignoring them, today's topic is what to do when someone close to you stabs you in the back." Nick's mouth dropped. Chris just looked at me as solid as a rock. After a long silence, I opened the conversation up.

"Any thoughts Nick?" I looked in the rear-view mirror to see him.

"I guess it would just depend on how close this person is to you." He was hesitant.

"Let's say a sibling." I sneered.

"Maybe their intentions weren't to hurt you." Chris finally spoke up.

"But if they were -" Nick started.

"And how would you know that?" Chris interrupted to defend.

"Pretty easy to tell if you are close to them." I was looking at Chris but avoiding eye contact. I knew if I made eye contact I would probably just get even more upset.

 "I think talking to them is the first step." Nick was trying to stay neutral.

"Yeah, just talk to them." Chris looked at the camera and smiled. It wasn't what he said that made me boil over but more so the way he said it along with the fake smug smile at the camera like he didn't do anything wrong.

"How could you go on a date with Aubrey after I told you I kind of liked her!?" I yelled.

"There it is," Nick said sitting back.

"She texted me," Chris yelled back.

"So?" I wasn't sure what to say.

"So, she wanted to talk about last night." Chris wasn't looking at me which was making me more mad. It also made him harder to read.

"Okay, well, I needed to talk to her before you did." I don't know if that was true but I wanted to talk to her so badly. I wanted a chance to really be myself and explain everything without Chris fucking it up.

"She told me she wasn't upset about last night and she likes you and wanted to make sure I wouldn't be upset if she started talking to you more."

"What?" Nick leaned forward. I went silent.

"What?" I asked again after Nick.

"We were basically agreeing to break up with no hard feelings because she wants you." I stared blankly at him.

"Get it, Matt!" Nick shook my shoulder. I couldn't help but smile a little. She liked me.

"Now can you stop being mad at me?" Chris sounded genuine.

"I.. uh... yeah." I stuttered.

"Did you honestly think that I would fight with you over a girl?" Chris folded his arms. His smug smile was annoying me this time but only because he was right.

"I told you." Nick yelled from the backseat.

"You guys were talking shit about me?" Chris whipped around to look at Nick.

"I wasn't." He threw me under the bus. Chris looked at me.

"Don't act like you were some holy angel. Begging me to tell you how I felt and then taking her out was sus." I rolled my eyes avoiding his eye contact.

"She called me wanting to meet up. By what you said last night I had a feeling she was feeling you. I've never slept with her." Chris started giggling.

"You never -?" Nick put a hand on Chris' shoulder.

"No, I just copied her notes and homework and then we hung out." I started feeling my cheeks flush red.

"Now I'm just confused." I shook my head back and forth. Why would she choose to sleep with Chris the one night he and I switched places? Either she knew I wasn't Chris or she just chose the absolute worst time to get frisky.

"Well, you must be good at -" Chris started.

"Shut the fuck up. Don't finish that." I said seriously. I was a little embarrassed about everything coming to light.

"You already did," Nick mumbled from the back seat. Chris lost it. He was rocking back and forth with his face covered while his laugh permeated through the car. Nick was smiling super wide but not contributing to the sound. I was fighting a smile.

"Can we just not do this, please," I said more annoyed than begging. They simmered down.

"So what are you going to do?" Nick was bringing the conversation back to serious.

"I -" The timer went off for us to reset the camera. "Did we just film that whole thing?" We all looked at the camera forgetting it was there.

"Nick you better delete all of that," Chris said.

"I will." He reached into the bag for another battery. Chris disassembled the SD card and battery while I scrolled my phone. After they had the camera settled I put it back up.

"So what are we actually filming?" Nick looked at me specifically.

"I don't know. I don't have anything." I shook my head no.

"Do we have to do one tonight?"

"No."

"I want to get home and see if I can talk to Aubrey." I quickly drove all of us home so I could disappear into my room. I left them behind in the garage and ran up the stairs skipping steps. I was nervous and eager to talk to her. I'm glad Chris didn't fuck it up for me. I wish I could say I believed in him the whole time but there was a moment of doubt for sure. I messaged her my phone number through Facebook and stared at the little circle waiting to see if her picture appeared showing she saw it. After a while it did. She was typing.

I'll call you in 5 (:

 I stopped biting my thumbnail to respond.

Okay

I immediately started biting my nails again waiting for her to call. Five minutes passed and she wasn't calling. Maybe she didn't want to call me. I sighed at myself. I try to not let things like this get to me normally and here I am freaking out over small details. I laid back on my bed. I felt my phone vibrating. I shot up to my feet and answered the phone.

"Hey." I said rushed. I cringed.

"Hey, I don't have long to talk. I'm at a party."

"Oh." My true emotions were showing. Nick, Chris, and I don't drink or smoke. We are pretty chill. We go to parties but usually end up leaving when things get uncomfortable.

"It's a study party." She giggled.

"Oh." My voice raised with realization. "I just wanted to ask if you wanted to go out on a date."

"We already did." She laughed. I smiled at her little joke.

"I meant with me." I specified.

"I would love to Matt." She answered the question.

"Cool."

"I gotta go. I'll text you."

"Study hard." Her laugh was cut off by her hanging up. "Study hard? What the hell is wrong with me?" I said aloud to myself. I opened my door to find Nick and Chris right there.

"So, how did it go?" Chris pressed.

"I got a date."

"Let's go Matt." They jumped me and started hooting and hollering approval at me.

"Just gotta wait until she texts me now." I looked at my phone.

"What are you going to do in the meantime?" Chris asked me.

"I don't know. Wait I guess." I shrugged.

"You could study hard." Nick made fun of me.

"You heard that?" I smacked him.

"Hey, maybe you guys could "study" together." Chris put his joke in there with air quotes.

"I hate you both." We all laughed. Even though being a triplet was complicated at times it was nice always having the support from my two brothers. Having Chris' support meant a little more to me because of the current situation. I wasn't nervous about pursuing Aubrey but instead, I felt confident and excited.