#nervous because I worked really hard on this and don't want people to dislike or ignore the thing I made!

[gay-ppl-real]

Coming This Sunday, 4am BGT

I haven't been subtle about it but I've been making an

!

And now!! It is finished! So I am going to put it on the internet! At the time at the beginning of this post!

That's when it'll go up on my art YouTube, and then when I wake up later that day I'll either embed it or upload the MP4 to Tumblr too :)

Remind me if I don't

[plusultraetc]

@livelikeheroes sorry to snatch your tags but omg mood. Hater Aizawa is so important to me. He'll really say "nothing grates on my nerves like wasted time" and "I make a point of living my life rationally in other words cutting out all that is unnecessary, extraneous, or wasteful." And then he'll say "anyway that's Yamada 'utterly extraneous' Hizashi we've been attached at the hip for fifteen years. But if All Might so much as wastes a second of (his own) time it's on sight."

I will definitely make a longer post when I'm further into the book but I cannot tell you how hard I laughed at this

[ochrearia]

A Nice Start

Oh no, Ochre's own emotions and thoughts, leaking into another RGBFverse one shot via how YS thinks and acts? Not a single fucking person is surprised

I don't know how Bash works I've probably derailed off at the end there but. I'm sleepy

BFs in this one-shot: Mixtape!BF (Bash, Soul's), Yourself (YS)

YS hadn’t felt this nervous around another self of his since getting off on the wrong foot with Boyf. In his defense, being nervous around him had been justified, YS wasn’t good at being around people as it was, much less people who actively disliked him. He was glad that Boyf didn’t seem to hate him anymore. Every once and a while he’d remember the original hostility and then tank his mood because of it. Despite it being in the past, it didn’t seem like time would make it hurt any less.

But that wasn’t the case here. Bash hadn’t even started out hating or disliking him. Actually, their first meeting was… strange. Bash had mistaken him for, someone else? Not really sure. He hadn’t yelled, or looked at him like he was disgusting, no, he’d offered comfort almost immediately. Comfort for something that didn’t happen, but supposedly was important enough to try and account for.

Bash seemed like a shy kind of guy just on the surface. Which somehow made it even more nerve-wracking, because shy people were usually the sweetest people on Earth, and it was terrifying to fuck up an impression with those kinds of people. And for once, YS wasn’t actually the oldest here.

So that whole ‘big brother’ shit? Definitely wasn’t going to work here.

Or at least that was probably that case. That wasn’t going to stop YS from trying. He was good at being a big brother figure, he thinks, everyone else seemed to be satisfied with his role. There had already been a few cases of selves that surprised him by wanting to take on a role of caring for him before he could even insist on being the one who cared. Bash was one of those, and coupled with the advantage of age, he wasn’t budging on this.

Two immovable objects. More like two stubborn idiot morons who refused to back down on stupid insistences.

“Hey man.” Bash’s voice was gentle, snapping YS from his thoughts. “Don’t think too hard, you might pull a muscle.”

“Pull a muscle… in my brain.” YS raised an eyebrow.

“You know what I mean.” Bash chuckled, though embarrassed.

So many nerves were flying around in this room. This was hell. So many selves by now and YS was still just as shit at beginnings compared to how he was with Biff of all people. Suppose some things never changed. Maybe he simply wasn’t used to this- a self that didn’t hate him, didn’t scream at him to go away. Wasn’t automatically disgusted by him.

Maybe that made it even more stressing to think that he could fuck it up by accident and make a self who was fine with him become disgusted by him. So many risks. YS felt like he might’ve pushed himself waaaaay over the edge. Why the hell did he keep doing this?

“You actually are thinking too hard now. I can see it on your face.” Bash spoke again, concern clearly laced his tone now. “You alright? Do you… want to talk about it?”

Something about that just… set him off.

“...Why?” The question tumbled from YS’s lips before he could even think to stop it. “Why do you… care? We’ve only really just met, why do you already care so much about my well-being? Why do any of you?”

Bash sighed, giving him a pity smile. “Why not?”

God dammit. What the hell was with this guy? How the fuck was YS supposed to get anywhere with this when the smallest sentences out of him could knock the breath from his chest so easily? He was supposed to be the one to help everyone else have those types of realizations. He was supposed to be the helper, not the one being helped.

“I- don’t understand.” YS admitted, against his better judgment. “I don’t understand, I can’t understand. I don’t get it. I wouldn’t even be upset if you or the other recent ones didn’t give a shit, that’s probably the reaction you should be having. And everyone else, It’s been months but I still don’t understand why they’d care about me.”

He was going to cause himself a goddamn migraine. He did that a lot. Stressed and depressed, not eating, not drinking anything actually helpful considering his stupid soda addiction. YS was prone to them of his own accord. The consequences of his actions. He was going to stress himself into another one in the coming minutes, he was sure of it. Then his poor guest would have to deal with his irritability.

Bash, though, kept regarding him silently. The small smile had dropped, but the pity was still there. Maybe not pity. Sympathy? Something else mixed in, unfamiliar. Eventually the older man opened his arms, stretched out towards him as an invitation. Oh…

“Sounds like maybe you need a big hug, bud.” Bash said instead of answering his hypotheticals. “If you’d like.”

YS stared, the shadows over his eyes coming in handy for once to act as an anxious guard. Things were exponentially harder to think through when you were madly unsure. No, he wasn’t the one meant to be helped, he was supposed to be the helper… but…

“I can’t stop thinking that every time someone shows they care about me.” YS continued, buried feelings spilling from his lips. “Every time. Just… why? Why, why, every time, every showing. It’s always the same. That’s… that’s not good, is it?”

“No, not really.” Bash replied. “I haven’t talked to many of the others. I’m not really sure how to approach them. I wasn’t really sure how to approach you, either, sorry. I’ve been so distant instead of trying to mingle in. I just haven’t figured out a path forward.”

“That’s that thing. You’re acting like a normal person should when presented with all this ridiculous nonsense. Anyone with a brain wouldn’t just immediately accept this. Or accept it at all, and I don’t understand why everyone else has. Everyone accepting… me.”

Bash looked at him almost expectantly. His arms were still outstretched towards him, inviting. YS kept looking, staring between both arms, trying to stick to his guns. But something had crossed a line, blurred it, and dismantled a wall. With an air of shyness, YS scooted over and all but collapsed into the awaiting arms of his brother. Brother, his… big brother.

“I think you’re such an interesting case. Maybe this is all a little confusing, and shouldn’t make sense, but who ever cared about rules anyways?” Bash offered, giving the other a gentle squeeze. “Like I said, I haven’t talked to many of the others, but I have talked to a few. Brooke and Beef. Brooke, well, I don’t know much. Beef, man, he loves you a lot. Talks a lot about you. Don’t tell him I told you that.”

YS snorted a laugh, shaking his head against Bash’s shoulder. “Little bastard. Can’t get that guy out of my damn apartment even if I tried. As if I really tried to get rid of him…” He mumbled that last part under his breath.

“You know you’re allowed to be cared about, right?” Bash asked. “It doesn’t seem like you do. That’s why you keep wondering. Keep failing to understand. I wonder how many of us it will take to change that?”

YS sighed. “A nice thought, but, no. I don’t think so. Not supposed to. I’m supposed to be helping everyone. Fuck, I’m supposed to be the big brother and I can’t even do that in this situation. I’ve caved.”

“Knew you’d come around!” Bash said happily, letting some of the nervousness melt away. “You’re still young compared to me. Like hell I was going to let you have to be responsible for me entirely. I can’t stop you from trying to help, though I don’t know how much you’ll find. But from what I heard from Beef, you don’t seem to let anyone just, take care of you. You’ve earned some rest.”

YS grumbled, finding that he had no words left to argue. But his head was proving to hate him regardless, because that migraine he thought might end up coming around actually started. Stupid, painful brain headache. “I guess… If I really earned rest then the universe wouldn’t be sending a shitty migraine my way right now. Sorry, by the way, I’m going to be very unpleasant to hang out with. You’re free to leave, honestly. Nothing fun to be doing like this.”

“Hummmm… Nah, I think it wouldn’t hurt you to have some company still.” Bash decided, letting one of his hands roam up to his head, scratching gently through his hair. “I just told you, you deserve some rest. Deserve to be cared for instead of doing all the caring. It’s not good to run yourself into the ground. You’ll burn yourself out that way. I don’t know much about you, but I know that for certain.”

Hah. This was so unfamiliar, he wasn’t used to being the little brother in this situation. Was this how he made his brothers feel? Heard, safe, cared for? Happy?

Don’t get your hopes up YS.

“That… feels nice.” YS breathed quietly. He felt small. Funny, it was a good small for once. Oh, well, there goes his damn shapeshifting again. It really was a hazard more than a power. “Fuck. Sorry. Sometimes this just happens… Automatic reaction to some of my feelings.”

“You’re alright man.” Bash chuckled again. “Pretty neat ability all things considered. Look, now I’m really the bigger brother. You’ve become shorter than me!”

“Shut up…” YS whined slightly, pushing his head more into his shoulder. “We’ve barely talked, it’s far too early for you to be so teasing already. You’re clearly hanging around Beef too much. That little shitter gets away with everything…”

“He does?” Bash asked, innocent tone full of underlying mischief. “And who’s fault would that be?”

“...Mine.” YS admitted with gritted teeth. “No more teasing. Head’s hurting like a bitch.”

Bash shook his head, amused, but let the subject drop. He didn’t let go, though. The hand in YS’s hair continued the gentle scratching movements, solely because the other had confirmed to be enjoying it. Probably wouldn’t help in the long run to fight a migraine, but any small comfort he could offer to the other he’d take.

It was a nice start.

[printeroo]

Star Trek TNG 3×21 – "Hollow Pursuits"

Little commentary from someone that found themselves in Barclay and cried over this episode (I can explain myself, swear).

As soon as I started this episode, I disliked how Geordi spoke of Barclay – and then how literally everyone else spoke of him. Considering he hasn't done anything wrong other than be akward (and being late to work – which is something to be criticised for but that's not the biggest issue certain members of the crew have with Barclay) it felt just plain mean to me to talk about him the way they do. Especially behind his back.

Now, I don't want it to seem like I think everyone's evil and bad for being unkind to Barclay because I understand that people like him (myself included) are difficult to work and interact with. It's okay to be frustrated with the kind of person he is, but I think they were doing too much.

Also, when I started the episode, I was immediately put off by Barclay's holodeck fantasy. Not the part where he assaults LaForge and Riker – it's very common for someone to feel hatred towards their boss, I think this is just that – but more so his interaction with fake Troi. I definitely found it creepy and figured Troi would be at least uncomfortable if she were to find out. But further on in the episode I realized that that, along with beating up his superiors, is very important to understand Barclay's character. His holodeck adventures with Troi are more than just having a crush on someone and fantasizing about getting with them. Because, despite how it might be presented, the biggest focus in these scenarios is not Troi but the concept of Barclay being confident enough to get a girl and enter conflict when he deems necessary. When he's in the holodeck, alone – despite the simulations, he doesn't stutter. He's not nervous. He can relax. This is all opposite when he's at work or with Troi (the real one) because he's interacting with real, sentient people capable of judging, hating, and bullying him. And that's what's on his mind, causing him to be the way he is.

Like Guinan said: "If I felt that nobody wanted to talk to me, I'd probably be late and nervous too." (I just wanna say how much I love Guinan for everything she said to Geordi in this episode. She's genuinely very kind, and doesn't judge Barclay for being a difficult person.)

I was going to put videos just for comparison between him in the holodeck vs him in real life, with Troi, but there's a 1-video-per-post policy. Hate that. But I'll explain – in the holodeck he's easily speaking without stuttering and his movements are smooth and look effortless (he can even make eye contact with her.) Unlike him with the real Troi, where he's struggling to form a sentence and tries really hard to look relaxed and casual. It's like a Clark Kent/Superman contrast except Barclay's not faking the akwardness.

The scene after Geordi catches Barclay in the holodeck, where they're talking in Ten-Forward, was my breaking point. Barclay talks about how he's always scared of forgetting someone's name, never knows what to with his hands which causes him to always fidget nervously, how he's so terrible at social interactions he has to practice what he would talk about at a function beforehand, but when he gets there he can't find the confidence to let one word out. And then Geordi says he's "just shy" and Barclay acts as if he's been described that way a million times and it just isn't that simple. And he tells Geordi he doesn't understand, no one around him could ever understand.

(^I just really like this piece of dialogue lol because like.... yeah man I get it)

Geordi tries (and in the end succeeds) to help Barclay be more confident. These scenes did make me cringe while watching, though. As you could guess, I'm very shy. So shy in fact that working on the Enterprise sounds like a nightmare. There's so many people and your job is so important and the consequences of messing up could be catastrophic. So, seeing Geordi bring Barclay on THE BRIDGE (aka the most important place on the ship) with THE CAPTAIN (aka the most important person on the ship) made me very nervous because I for sure wouldn't be able to handle the situation. If I were Barclay I'd be tearing up the whole time and when Picard calls me "Broccoli" I might just run to my quarters and cry so hard I throw up and scream till I pass out. I sound dramatic (and I might be) but it just really is that big of a deal for some people. But despite that, I can understand that this helps Barclay build confidence, which is exactly what he needs.

And in the end it's Barclay who saved the day. By being confident enough to voice his opinion. Something that I am very proud of him for because I still find it extremely difficult. And in the end he doesn't get a "thank you" from a superior. Geordi does, from Riker. And when Riker hears that Barclay was involved he doesn't think about thanking him as well, but it's okay. Because Geordi tells Barclay he's glad he was there to help, which is enough validation and assurance to get Barclay started. At least, it would be for me.

This is an odd episode because the main plot is that there's just this guy who's kinda weird (has social anxiety) and no one likes him. But at the same time, I really needed to watch it. For better or for worse, it felt like it was made specifically for me.

(after typing this out I found out that reg will be a recurring, and I think important, character which i am actually very glad to hear. it also means someone might care about what i have to say about him)

[fishedeyelenz]

Billy Lenz headcanons

Fuck it, it's 1AM, I don't want to go to sleep, let's overthink this dumb attic man. Most of these are from the vault I use for reference when writting for him

Generally has a very musky, dusty scent to him. He likes feeling clean, though he has trouble keeping up with his hygiene. He bathes when he can/remembers, but most of the time he will be smelling of sweat, dust, mildew and sometimes cat food. So best case scenario -he smells like an old man. Worst case scenario -he smells like something died in a bowl of cat kibble.

Has very chapped lips, chews on them out of nervous habbit. I'd a bit better with keeping up with his dental hygiene, but it can happen that he forgets to brush his teeth for a day or two. His teeth are naturally kinda yellowish though. Has a gap between his two front teeth.

Has a staring problem (no shocker there) he has very wide hazel eyes which have an ability creep people out even in normal circumstances.

Likes to keep his hair relatively longer, going under his chin to shoulder length. Likes playing with his hair, twirling it and scratching his scalp to calm himself down. Doesn't like it too long though, it irritates him when he has hair brushing over his back. Has soft curly hair, thick but most of the time it's greasy and tangled and matted up like a rats nest. Can clean up nicely though.

Has a decent amount of body hair, and has a very patchy stubble. He shaves with stolen razors, so he probably doesn't have the sharpest materials to work with. He does have sideburns though, which he likes to take care of

His green sweater is his comfort item, and he has a very hard time parting with it, even when it reeks like something died in it. Probably buys multiple pairs of the greens sweater if/when he has the means for it.

Near constantly has a cold, doesn't layer up at all when the weather gets cooler. His hands are cold and dry. If he's lucky he has an absolutely damp and snot-filled handkerchief in his pocket, but he usually wipes his nose into his sleeves. He's fucking gross like that.

Drools a lot, spits while he talks, most likely has some disorder that makes him salivate in large quantities, but he isn’t gonna get it checked out.

Is afraid of needles, doctors and dentists. just being in a hospital-like environment makes him anxious, it reminds him too much about his stints in psych wards and asylums. Doesn't like receiving any sort of injections. Dislikes taking pills as well, but he can put up with that at least.

Very messy eater, not only chewing really loudly, he also manages to spill just about everything over himself. Can cook simple meals, and can help assist in making more complicated meals, but the process will be messy. Most of the time he is not capable of cooking, and so he steals food from the residence he is squatting in. Doesn’t eat a lot when in survival mode, but if he's in an environment he is comfortable with/is being taken care of, he will eat ravenously and a lot too. Has a fast metabolism when he's young, so he doesn’t put on that much weight, but when he starts approaching middle age it will slow down. In his forties he will develop a dad bod if his circumstances allow (DILF Billy supremacy).

Sensitive to light, prefers being in the dark. The darkness is safer and familiar to him, he feels very exposed in light and open spaces. Also prefers stuffier and more claustrophobic environments, and he most likely has mild agoraphobia. Lights also sometimes hurt his eyes as well.

Sensitive to loud noises, ironically enough. Is easily overwhelmed in noisy environments. Likes to repeat things he hears, very good at voice mimicry, likes words with pronounced "t" sounds in them. Has echolocalia.

If he weren’t an unstable murderer I could see him becoming an actor or a voice actor. Depends if he wants to be seen or not, because I think he would gladly take on roles on TV if they wouldn’t credit him. This man craves attention but is at the same time afraid of receiving it lol. Attention can overwhelm him easily. Could see him becoming a theater actor as well.

Has a big oral fixation problem. Chews on zippers of his jackets, pencil tips and just about anything he could stick in his mouth. Chews on his nails and bites down on his fingers when he's nervous/thinking.

Also stims with his hands, claps when he's excited. Imitates playing a piano when listening to music. Twirls his hair, fidgets with loose threads of his sweater. Sadly when he's overwhelmed/having a meltdown he grips and pulls on his hair, sometimes punching the sides of his head. Likes to rock himself as well.

Near sighted and in desperate need of glasses, but he doesn’t particularly like wearing them and continuously loses them. Needs them only for reading, but as he grows older his vision will get worse and he will have to get a standard pair. He thinks he looks like a nerd when he wears them-he is right (🤓<-Billy)

Loves movies, loves Kubric especially, but watching a film with him can be a grueling experience if you don’t enjoy somebody talking over and narrating the whole film. Especially if there's food like popcorn involved, he will talk with his mouth full, chewing loudly.

Has a sweet tooth. Will eat just about any cakes, candies, treats and fruits. Loves strawberries in particular.

Can't stand cigarette smoke and alcohol. Is very judgmental of people who partake in them. Is kinda a judgmental and mean person in general lol.

I’m sorry folks but this man does not like Christmas lol. Probably has some very bad memories related to the holiday that cause him to burst mentally during that time. Doesn’t care for other Holidays either, except for maybe Valentine's day if he happens to have an object of affection at the moment.

Has eaten cat food

Raised rats as pets before he stole Claude for himself, who proceeded to eat all of them.

[fireemblems24]

Scarlet Blaze Ch 12

Spoilers below for all Hopes routes up to Ch 12.

MAIN STORY

More backtracking.

I had Shez say we shouldn't return because I'm sick of backtracking. Hubert got mad at me. Ugh.

I also don't get why TWSITD wouldn't want Edelgard do take over. Isn't that like their plan? She does all the hard work then they kill her? Isn't Rhea's death #1 on TWSITD's Christmas list??

SIDE MAPS/CAMP

Ashe is still miserable, but no special words for Annette. I hope Mercedes does.

Marianne is actually motivated to fight this time. She actively dislikes fighting the Kingdom though. (Dimimari still alive)

Lamo, Linhardt doesn't give two shits about Edelgard's war, he just wants to go back to Enbarr and take a nap.

Petra also seems relieved she's fighting rioters and not Kingdom soldiers.

Everyone else - there riots, hung. This one random dude - so there's this dance competition

Mercedes wants to be left alone and pray for Annette. She should've known though that the Empire's actions are sentencing a sizable portion of Faerghus to death, right? I have less sympathy for her than Ashe, who was just following Dimitri's direct orders.

Hubert looks like such a try-hard with this new design. Sometimes I forget.

Hubert doesn't trust Shez. This is such a stark contract to AG, because Hubert thinks Shez will lose control and kill Edelgard and is threatening to kill Shez.

So there's another cut scene where they say TWSITD doesn't want Fodlan unified, but don't they in 3 Houses? Isn't the whole point of the experiments on Edelgard so she's strong enough to kill Rhea and take over Fodlan? Like, I get why they'd be mad that Edelgard kicked them out, but if they were smart they'd let her do all the dirty work and then just take her out and then profit without losing anyone. This whole, "TWSITD doesn't want us to unify!" really smells like bullshit bc of the backlash Edelgard got for siding with them in Houses. Now they're retconning it into "oh, no no, they don't want her to succeed!" Uh, yes, they do, that's what they spent years planning on. Makes no sense.

SHEZ & CASPAR B SUPPORT

They talk about training and how Caspar wants to surpass Shez in fighting ability.

Really the only thing of note is Caspar's persistence.

SHEZ & LINHARDT B SUPPORT

Linhardt is still investigating Shez's power, who has mixed feelings about it.

The problem is the power woke up when Shez was facing death, making it hard to recreate. So Linhardt just commits to studying Shez on the battlefield.

Linhardt is stone cold. After realizing he may not be able to study Shez's power he says he'll need to revaluate the value of their relationship.

SHEZ & BERNADETTA A SUPPORT

Their plans to help Bernadetta is not going well. Everything ends in chaos.

There's moments Bernie's anxiety is treated seriously in this support at the very least.

It ends with Bernie realizing Shez doesn't scare her anymore and that the way not to be nervous around people is spending time with them.

SHEZ & PETRA A SUPPORT

Petra tells Shez he can come to Brigid once it's over.

She hopes to increase trade once the war is over and thinks having Shez around will help.

It's pretty fucked up that Petra thinks the best way for Brigid to stand out is to comply with their oppressors until they "earn" their power or whatever. Recruited Petra is always better.

Shez tells Petra she's "every bit the leader the Fodlan ones are" like fuck off, we know that. Petra just owns it though. She's like, "no, I'm Brigid's queen." We love that for her.

I'm having Shez be as much of a dick as I can though right now (fuck this route for making me kill Annette, Gustave, Rodrigue, and Ingrid - the Black Eagles deserve worse), and this was the first time I felt bad.

HUBERT & MONICA A SUPPORT

The battle of the simps.

I really wonder what the writers were thinking. Oh, I know what the Black Eagles needs, another mage and another character who wants to suck Edelgard's toes! We don't have enough of either yet.

Monica insulted Edelgard's painting without knowing it was Edelgard's. This is probably the hardest trial she's ever faced (yes, it's probably worse than kidnapping and imprisonment for her)

Edelgard got offended. That girl can't take any criticism.

Monica aspires to be Edelgard's servant and is happy that the war she's causing may make that possible. Question is, does Edelgard want to put up with a stalker?

FERDINAND & DOROTHEA A SUPPORT

Dorothea has realized that she owes Ferdinand an apology. Finally.

Ferdinand really rides that line between cringe and endearing and right now I don't know what side of the fence he's on right now. He's shouting at Dorothea so he can keep a distance and giving her the chance to laugh at him if she wants.

Dorothea's embarrassed because everyone is overhearing this lamo. And people are assuming they're dating.

Poor Ferdinand is like Dorothea's still annoyed with me. Then Dorothea tells him he doesn't need to apologize, which makes him think she'll never forgive him, but it's actually because she has too.

They both get embarrassed when she tells him what's going on.

Honestly this is a WAY cuter version of the same story and a lesson in how much execution matters. I was all team Petra/Dorothea (and Ferdinand I didn't really ship with anyone), but now I like Ferdie/Doro too.

While I'm kind of bummed we basically got the same conversation, a rewrite really helped in this case so I get why they went that route.

MONICA & DOROTHEA C SUPPORT

Why did they have to do my girl Dorothea like this? Wasting one of her supports on Monica.

Monica is upset she didn't realize Dorothea was the songstress sooner.

So, Monica is a fan of Dorothea too.

Also Dorothea finds Monica unsettling. Same.

But hey at least Monica got through a conversation without saying Edelgard.

LINHARDT & CONSTANCE C

So is this about Constance being mad that Linhardt doesn't care about his noble status or about him investigating her condition?

Linhardt calls her for siding with the church over the Empire for a bit, but it was only for survival.

Man, Constance just makes no sense fighting for Edelgard. She wants to glory of nobility so awkward.

These two aren't having the same conversation. Linhardt is curious about her crest situation and Constance is going off about wanting to revive her house.

He just walks off after getting annoyed by her lol.

JERITZA & EDELGARD A SUPPORT

Jetiza likes the war because without it he'd be killing someone "less deserving" because Fuck You random Faerghus citizen. I guess they "deserve it"

Also, holy shit, dude acts like it's just inevitable that he murders

At least he wants to get arrested. Edelgard doesn't want him to get arrested.

My question is, did Jeritza go around killing willy nilly or just House Bartels? Because he makes it sound like he can't resist killing and just went and ganked whoever was unlucky.

Or was it that Edelgard recruited him right away and made him her personal guard dog?

MAIN BATTLE

Hanneman and Leonie, not who I expected.

I love how we only see mothers crying over their dead kids when it's TWSITD's attack that does it and not Edelgard's.

Edelgard says no more innocent lives lost today, which may actually be true since we're attacking TWSITD and not commoners from Faerghus.

Is there anything you can do about Leonie? She died of poison, but since it's related to Jeralt stuff, I'm guessing it's because I didn't recruit him? If I did, would she have gotten recruited?

Solon retreated. Annoying.

Hubert, who was a dark knight the whole battle, claims he doesn't know the magic TWSITD uses.

I forget how anime magic girl Edelgard's design is in this game. It's kind of weird.

I keep earning reknown, but I don't know what it does.

Duke Aegir and co seized a fortress. Time for Ferdinand to do something cool?

Caspar's brother is a prisoner.

Does this mean I get to put off fighting innocent citizens of Faerghus for another level? Because I prefer SB bored out of my mind than upset that I had to kill Ingrid, Rodrigue, Gustave, and Annette.

Leonie's dead too now. Geeze, SB is a bloodbath.

xxx

[bookwyrminspiration]

Call me out if I’m wrong here, but I feel like sometimes, when you’re in this fandom, there’s a lot of contradictory?

I feel like not that long ago people were upset that others were saying they didn’t like something, so wording changed.

I do believe that we should be honest on whether or not we like something (while being kind/gracious about it), but that might be the reason why some people are more nervous to just come out and say it?

Again I may be so incredibly wrong; I’ve been dipping my toes in and out of the fandom for a while now.

I think you have a valid point. There's a lot of people in the fandom, and we have different opinions, some of which contradict each other. Sometimes one view dominates, then the other. We vacillate and change, which is only natural.

Regarding the recent wording change, I'm not sure what specific thing that was in response to--there was some conversation in the vein of "if you don't like it, why are you here?" Which was more in response to the overwhelming negativity the series has started to accrue with the long interims, its current direction, and fans getting older. The sort of "people don't want to hear about how much you hate the thing they love." Even if you've established yourself as a fan of it previously.

Which I think can coexist alongside simply saying you don't like something. I can say the new cover isn't really hitting for me without tearing it apart and making those who really enjoy it feel bad, you know? I don't mind it, understand why it's like that, and appreciate Jason Chan's artistic prowess, but that doesn't make it interesting to look at.

But you're right, there's been this push to justify why you dislike things, at least in online spaces. So it's harder/makes people nervous to say "I just don't like this." Myself included. Instead it's "this was rushed" "this was last minute" "Shannon's publishers are pressuring her" "her editor's are pressuring her" etc.

Which, again, is entirely possible. Writing and publishing is hard; it takes a lot of work and pleasing the industry isn't easy. But there are points where--I think--people approach it with bad faith.

To use the cover as an example again, a lot of people are saying it's rushed. Possible. But is there a history of rushing covers? Not that we've seen, all the others have been spectacular, detailed, and thorough. What would they gain by rushing it? They could meet deadlines sooner, have something to share with the audience since we're in a weird period. But they could also damage their marketing with a subpar product, especially given the series' popularity. Why do we think the cover looks rushed? Its simplicity, its different mood. But, again, Shannon said that was intentional. There's Keefe's appearance, which is really hit or miss for people. I don't think Keefe not looking as attractive as people imagine/want is a result of rushing, but because there's an impossible standard for him as The Boy of the series. And so on and so forth.

The point of that being we've come to this conclusion, I think, hastily. While book 9.5 wasn't the original plan so of course timelines change, I don't think S&S has a history or motive to rush. There's already an established precedent for delays when necessary, the cover came out later than others, and there's (i think) a solid, purposeful reason the mood is different.

Could I be wrong? Absolutely. But the rapidity of the conclusion and with how much it feels we've been outsourcing our dislike the past few years I'm started to feel a little skeptical. Boy who cried wolf kinda thing. Was it rushed again, or do we just not like it? Feels like a slapstick explanation without further examination

And of course you don't have to analyze everything, but some things are a bit more complex, you know?

Point is: I think we're overusing these explanations (pressured, rushed) and at this point if we don't delve further into it it starts to lose its meaning. There is an argument for being rushed and pressured! But without getting into it, I can't tell if we're thinking it through or just avoiding saying we don't like something for fear of judgment/reprisal.

[writteninlunarlight-years]

Hi, I hope you are having a great day! Could I have a matchup if it's not a problem? Thanks in advance!

Fandom: Hazbin Hotel

Gender: Genderfluid (AFAB)

Pronouns: Any pronouns

Sexuality: Asexual-Biromantic

Appearance: My hair is around shoulder length and dyed constantly (currently purple). I am 5'1 and chubby. I always wear glasses be it regular ones or sunglasses.

MBTI: INTP

Personality: I am a little awkward and shy when I first meet new people but if I get used to someone I basically become a chatterbox. I believe myself to be funny and a bit sarcastic. If I like someone enough I'll be constantly talking to them about my interests or tell them a fun fact that I learned recently. I am good at comforting people even if I am a bit awkward about it at the start. I am a professional procrastinator and would do most of my task at the last minute. I tend to be a perfectionist and stress out if something doesn't go as I wanted it to. Sometimes I have days that I hate being touched, no matter the person. I love animals, no matter if it's a typical house pet or a wild animal.

Likes:

- Studying history (the cultural parts mostly, I hate learning dates or military history)

- Listening to music (literally any genre I vibe to pretty much everything)

- Playing video games (I don't really care about genres as long as the story and/or graphics are nice)

- Reading books, mostly non fiction (books about history and also paranormal stuff)

Dislikes:

- Taste of alcohol and the smell of cigarettes

- When I am late to something

- Parties, mostly because of how loud they are how many different noises there is. My sensory issues can't stand that.

Extra fun fact:

- I do embroidery when I am bored

~~~~~ MATCHUPS ~~~~~

Hazbin Hotel

Lucifer Morningstar

~~~~~ HEADCANONS ~~~~~

Lucifer enjoyed your company the most when he joined the hotel.

He sought you out for comfort regarding his past and his relationship with Charlie.

He was always really hard on himself after what happened with Lilith, making it hard for him to want to move on.

However, with your advice and care, he overcame this fear.

However, every date he went on with another was never fulfilled, so he stopped altogether, just happy to have a good friend in you.

He loved your passion for embroidery and liked to make different ducks for you to stitch.

When he realized why everyone felt off except for you, he was a total mess.

He was awkward and would spit out weird historical facts to try and impress you.

Once his little Charlie caught wind of his affections, she quickly assisted him in confession.

Charlie had millions of ideas, all of which Lucifer shot down, though, because he did not want to overwhelm you with parties or extravagant ordeals.

Finally, the two decided to make a simple confession over dinner.

He had your favorite music playing and a bunch of fun activities set aside for after he confessed.

Once you confirmed your relationship with him, you will see that he is the happiest man alive.

~~~~~ BLURBS ~~~~~

You had been holed up in your room for hours, working away on your gift for Lucifer. You always found it weird that even though you were in hell, everyone still celebrated Christmas. As Angel put it, 'Who would turn down free shit.' He had a solid point. You had spent weeks making everyone's hand-made gifts but really struggled with Lucifers. You wanted it to be perfect as it was your first holiday as a couple. You had placed the last stitch on your fabric and looked at it proudly. In the center of a small handkerchief were two ducks with a ring of apples. One duck looked strikingly similar to Lucifer, while the other looked a lot like you. Smiling, you boxed up your last gift and snuck downstairs to place the final present under the tree.

When morning broke, everyone was so excited to open their gifts. Each handmade gift you made for everyone was taken excitedly and used accordingly. When it got to Lucifer, you were the most nervous. Tears formed in his eyes as he opened the box and looked at the design. He was so happy and felt so seen in that moment. He folded up the object and placed it in his suit. He looked at you with a warm smile. Gently, he took your hand and placed a chaste kiss with a simple 'Thank you.'

[misc-obeyme]

CIARAN O'MARA

CC's Obey Me MC

short, chubby human

likes: painting, plants, animals, and the ocean

dislikes: being bored, cooking, heat, and being teased

more below the cut (ETA: I will update this profile soon! You can also find a few picrews below the cut as well as some excellent art.)

Okay, here is Ciaran's moodboard, finally. All images were found on pinterest.

Basic Info

Ciaran is a short, chubby human with blue hair and green eyes. They are amab and use he/they pronouns. They're in their thirties. They're somewhat pale with a light scattering of freckles. Their natural hair color is black, but they're pretty good about keeping up the blue hair color. They like to wear sweaters and light colors, but sometimes will go really crazy with their fashion choices. Most of the time, though, they like to be cozy.

The name Ciaran is Irish and while the moodboard says it means "black," I think it really means something like "little dark one" or "dark haired." This has nothing to do with their name, I just chose Ciaran because I like it. The common English spelling is Kieran and it's pronounced that way, with the hard K sound.

History

Ciaran was born in some fictional New England town in the United States of America. They are the youngest of two with an older sister named Fiadh (pronounced fee-uh). Their parents moved to the US from Ireland before they had the kids. Their father died when Ciaran was very young. Their mother is a devout Irish Catholic and has no idea that Ciaran is in the Devildom because it'd probably kill her if she found out. (Despite being Catholic, she's very kind and accepting. It's just that finding out Ciaran lives with Lucifer might be a little too much.)

Ciaran is a painter. They like to paint with oils on large canvasses, but they will also do watercolor. They really enjoy doing small paintings on the go and for that, they use a little watercolor kit that they carry around with them. They mostly paint landscapes, occasionally abstracts. They used to do portraits, but they haven't in quite some time.

Before coming to the Devildom, Ciaran lived in an apartment with Fiadh and worked at an art gallery. They generally spent their time putting together art shows, but would occasionally sell one of their own works. When they were brought to the Devildom out of nowhere, Fiadh spent quite a bit of time tracking them down. She was unable to afford the rent on their apartment without Ciaran's contribution and had to move back in with their mother. It takes some time, but eventually, Fiadh finds her way to the Devildom just so she can complain to Ciaran (though it's also because she wanted to make sure he was okay).

Relationships

Ciaran is outgoing and likes people, but they are also feisty and have a short temper. They get into arguments with Lucifer and Satan a lot. They're nervous around Belphie for quite a while. They get into trouble with Mammon all the time, try to get Levi to go outside with them, love to do makeovers with Asmo, and is always up to go get food with Beel. They generally get along with all the brothers, they just have a slightly more rocky relationship with some of them.

They love Diavolo, feel comfortable with Barbatos, slightly intimidated by Simeon, and start out being annoyed by Solomon until they get to know him better.

Ciaran also finds Arsenios to be suspicious until they get to know him better. Then it's definitely a situation where they get annoyed with him because he tends to tease them a lot.

Ciaran's sister is their other main relationship, as detailed above. There are a couple other human world ones, but since Ciaran is mostly in the Devildom now I don't feel the need to write about them here lol.

Etc

I feel the need to mention that the cow in Ciaran's moodboard is because Ciaran likes animals, especially farm animals. Not because they love Belphie or anything lol! Though they eventually come to love Belphie, they're wary of him for quite some time after Lesson 16.

This is a general summary of the things I've talked about in the asks I've received about my MC. You can find them and all related posts under the tag "misc mc ciaran."

Ciaran isn't me or even really a self insert. I definitely gave them a lot of things that I wish I had, but otherwise they are their own person! Though I suppose one could argue that I put a little bit of myself in every character I create lol.

As with Arsenios, I love talking about Ciaran, so anyone is free to send me any asks they like about them! And as it's been asked before, you are also welcome to draw them if that is something you're interested in doing. I'm happy to answer any asks about their appearance or you can just interpret what I've posted how you like!

Thank you for showing an interest in my MC!

An adorable holiday chibi of Ciaran by the incredible @/starry-miki!

This amazing artwork of Ciaran by the talented @/opal0684!

Just a couple of picrews I felt like adding:

The middle one with Arsenios is probably most accurate, especially the height difference lol. I might add more in the future.

[strangertheories]

The Stranger Things Q&A panel at a convention today (actors of Chrissy, Alexei and Karen)

I was not able to ask any questions, sorry guys! The queue was long and I dislike crowds a lot so I avoided it. However, the panel host pointed at me when talking about the cosplay in the fandom and complimented my cosplay- people clapped! Except she said "oh my goodness chips ahoy!" (I am a Robin cosplayer) and I am in fact not cosplaying chips ahoy.

I've included most answers here, nothing really about S5 though except confirmation that filming begins in June for Cara, what they'd like to happen and no Byler. There was a lot for the Hellcheer shippers as well since Grace got asked about that. There were a few questions they refused to answer, most of which were about their fellow cast members. Except for when the crowd wanted to kill Mike when asked which of the party should die (bit harsh). One person said Will and Grace was outraged.

Cara (Karen)

Her daughter cosplays anime

Audition - started in 2015, in person followed by a series of auditions, only one to meet Duffers before set

Huge Walking Dead fan, loves Star Trek, anime vicariously through child, Genshin Impact

Likes the nostalgic bits - happy it's introducing 80s music to younger generation

Favorite part to act was the scene where she first met Billy as it was fun to shoot and they were laughing between takes

Cara never learnt to swim so had to get lessons to film a shot of backstroke in S3

Sad that Benny died, as well as Eddie and Chrissy because she wonders what could've been

Her daughter was 2 when she started stranger things so she grew up with the cast and it's bittersweet to see kids grow

Thinks pineapples DO belong on pizza

Wants Angela to die in S5 (because she's mean) with a whack to the face from another roller skate

S5 shooting begins in June!

She was surprised at how gruesome Chrissy's death was even though she'd read it in the script but thought it served as a good departure from previous seasons

Carnival scene was best location to film on as they built a carnival and you could go on the rides when it wasn't being filmed

Grace (Chrissy)

Audition - sent in a tape, only had to try once because she was the only one to play her nice

Grace is a big Doctor Who fan, particularly number 10

Would be a demodog if she could play anyone else

Favorite part of shooting was working with Joe Quinn as he's super talented and fun

Most stressful scene to shoot was running from Vecna (crying, screaming, running, etc was exhausting) especially since Jamie Campbell Bowers walks super slowly

Would kill Vecna to save Eddie

She thinks Eddie and Chrissy would've been together but says that "they are [together] now" (💀💀) which got a huge laugh

Says third season is the best

Would be a potato if she could be a food

Not tired of Chrissy Wake Up. Was asked to sing Chrissy Wake Up but she didn't

Was nervous people would be glad she died so she'd be out of the way so was pleased people love Chrissy

Dear Billy (04x04) is the best episode in her opinion

Thinks pineapples don't belong on pizza

Enjoyed dying for the first time but actually found it hard to watch. They wouldn't let her keep snapped Chrissy to hang from her ceiling

Alec (Alexei)

Audition - just generic scenes, wrote the character around him

Big anime fan (Demon Slayer, Hunter X Hunter)

Says the 80s nostagia shows the power of music (and marketing)

Favorite people to work with were David and Winona (mother and father figure of set)

Favorite part to shoot was the scenes with the slushies. It was cherry "because it was in the script" (he was asked why he chose a cherry slushie)

Would be "Cool Dustin" if he could have played anyone else (he is his favorite character, loved Gaten's performance from S1 as he's unique)

First shot outside of Murray's house was very scary to film as he wanted to impress the cast

He says the first season is the best season

It was unexpected that people clung on to his character and the reaction from social media although he did anticipate people would be sad from the death

Doesn't want Eddie to come back, says more main characters should die

So that's that! I got to speak to Cara as well and she was lovely, I'll be seeing them later today as well for photos/autographs (:

[viatagrinner]

Gilbert von Obsidian. I want to know the secret you're hiding. Chapter 2.

MC is on Gilbert's assignment to look for a man.

She uses the portrait the prince gave her to look for this man.

Everyone who has seen the picture praises it A saleswoman says she saw this man outside the bookstore where MC works.

Some old man pointed to a bar where stranger from the portrait frequent.

━━━━━━━༻❀✿❀༺━━━━━━━

Cafe.

The heroine calls Gilbert's drawings "cute."

Gilbert: ....Hey, Miss Bunny. Are you trying to pick a fight with me?

MC: No! I just gathered the evidence and laid it out based on facts!

The girl meets the prince at the cafe.

On the table are the sweets and tea we ordered, as well as an impromptu portrait of the man she was looking for, drawn by Gilbert.

Gilbert: ...Thanks to you, I can get rid of him. Thank you for your hard work.

MC doesn't understand why he needs help. None of the citizens know that he is an enemy prince. He is a young man with a cheerful smile, there will be people who want to help him.

MC: What kind of man is that?

Gilbert: A secret.

Gilbert: I won't tell you, even if you look at me like that. I won't tell you because you will never be involved.

(I lent a hand without thinking, but I wonder if it's okay.)

The waiter walks up and brings a snow-white cake.

Gilbert: ...I knew you secretly ordered something.

MC: It's your birthday, isn't it?

Gilbert: You remembered.

MC: In many ways, it's unforgettable.

The celebration was different this year. There was less anger.

He's still an enemy prince, but beyond that title, he has a mysterious charm that makes it hard to dislike him.

Gilbert: You never learn, do you?

Gilbert: Just like last year, I can betray/deceive you, right?

MC: Then please don't betray me. This cake is a masterpiece, right?

Gilbert: Ahaha, are you going to use it as a bribe?

MC: That's not what I meant, but... at least let me celebrate your birthday in an honest way.

Gilbert: Hey, I'm sorry for you, partner.

Gilbert: But I will accept Miss Bunny's good will.

Gilbert holds his own fork in MC's hand. He wants the girl to feed him.

MC: What's that for?

Gilbert: Just wait for "Yum"?

MC: ....I don't like it.

Gilbert: Oh, I have to tell you again, don't I?

(I'll do it myself or they'll make me do it...)

There are a lot of people around. And because of Gilbert's conspicuous appearance, she feels like everyone is looking at them.

Awkward. But how can she say no to the birthday boy?

MC: Well, how?

Gilbert: One more piece.

It looks like another gift from the girl: a chance to tease her.

MC feels her face burning as if she were on a date, but the prince was calm.

Gilbert: I wasn't interested in sweets before, but I tasted them in Rhodolite.

Gilbert: Now I like sweets. It's your fault, isn't it?

MC: ...I'm glad you liked it.

(I wonder why Master Gilbert's jokes are always bad for the heart.)

The prince was smiling and cheerful, but suddenly he shifted his gaze to the window.

The atmosphere had changed. The man from the portrait entered the bar.

Gilbert: ...If you've finished your meal, let's go somewhere else.

━━━━━━━༻❀✿❀༺━━━━━━━

Bar

The man was drinking alone.

Gilbert and MC watched him. The girl was drinking juice.

Gilbert: Hey, Miss Bunny. Have you noticed anything unusual around you lately?

The heroine wondered. She also wondered. How did the prince know about this?

Gilbert: If you have something to say, then say it.

Gilbert looked the same as when they were at the café, but she was strangely nervous.

The girl dares to tell the prince that she thinks she is being followed.

Gilbert: Hey, is that a stalker?

MC: ... What do you think?

Gilbert: You really are adorable, aren't you?

MC: What?

Gilbert: Yeah, probably the kind of person who subconsciously puts all men down.

(....I wonder if he's teasing me again.)

Gilbert: It's okay. I don't think you'll ever feel the gaze again.

MC: Why? .....

MC: ....Oh....

(....This is weird...)

(I didn't drink alcohol...)

(I suddenly felt sleepy...)

Gilbert: Because you're my only catch/prey.... right?

Gilbert's Masterlist

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #242

What feeling do you have the most difficult in expressing? Jealousy. It's not something I experience often, and I think because it's rare, I have NO idea how to handle it.

Do you make your bed everyday? Why/why not? Only roughly. I just straighten the cover a bit.

Does any particular season make you happier than others? Why/why not? Autumn. I just love this time of year.

Do you give money to homeless people/beggars? Why/why not? No because I literally HAVE no money. I do not own a dollar. I'm also very afraid of people, but if there ever is a time I finally have my own income, I would like to. My mom is the friendliest person to homeless people that I know and she inspires me a lot.

What do you feel is your number one flaw? Are you doing anything about it? When it boils down to it... maybe that I have zero faith in myself and my abilities. That causes a lot of problems in my life. And I mean yeah, I'm in therapy and I've worked very hard on being kinder to myself and just trying to learn to believe in me.

Do you see yourself as worthy of love? Why/why not? I... struggle with this. I'm working on it.

Do you think you are competitive? Do you really dislike losing? No, and I really don't vibe with competitive-ass people. Everyone wins some, everyone loses some. That's the way of life. My mama raised me to believe everyone has their turn.

On which topics do you feel qualified at giving advice? I dunno. I'm too self-doubtful for this.

Will you be single over winter? I don't see the future. I wouldn't think so though, Girt and I are doing great.

Do you add random questions into surveys when you take them? No. I only ever delete some for a variety of reasons.

Would you get married if you could right now? I'd prefer not to right now.

Do you consider yourself spoiled? It depends. I am REMARKABLY lucky that my mom still takes care of me when I'm pushing 30; she understands that I'm a mentally ill person with a lot of struggling points and is being a true mother in never giving up on me. She does what she can, but I'm going to take the phrasing the last person used: I don't think I'm spoiled in a bratty sort of way. I don't get everything I want and stuff. I'm just very lucky to have a mom who didn't kick her chick out of the nest before she was ready.

Do you remember the first time you kissed the last person you kissed? I do.

Have you ever slept on a couch with that person? Not a couch, no. I'm a big person, we ain't gonna be comfortable enough to sleep cuddling on a couch lol. Or rather, I wouldn't be, no way in hell. I already struggle to sleep in bed.

Have you written a letter to a soldier? Not that I remember. I suppose it's possible from elementary school, but I don't remember it.

Where are the majority of your clothes from? Probably Walmart.

Does being in love make you nervous? Yes, because I've been hurt so badly by love before.

Would you do your own surgery to keep yourself alive? (ex. stitches) I have no idea. I would have to be in this situation to know.

Have you ever had any really infected injuries? I've had two infected piercings and those sucked. The cyst I had got BADLY infected, that was hell on fucking earth.

Is racism for losers? It sure fucking is hunny!!!!!!!

Is there any band out there that you like every song by them? No, not even Ozzy or Rammstein.

Are you popular on any websites? No.

Have you ever cussed/swore in front of younger children? Accidentally, yes. I try not to do this in respect to however their parents are raising them. Most don't want their kids hearing words like that.

Will you go to your high school reunion? No. I have no desire to go back there.

If you could meet one famous person, who would it be? Markiplier, probably. I'd love to hear some motivational talk from him.

Do you hate it when people look over your shoulder? Dude it doesn't matter WHAT I'm doing, how innocent it is, don't fucking do this, it makes me insanely uncomfortable.

Would you consider yourself hypocritical? Everyone is a hypocrite to some degree, I think everyone knows that.

Do you know anyone who had had a heart attack under 30 years of age? I don't believe so.

Are you considered popular at school? I wasn't.

If you were starving would you eat food out of a garbage can? Ugh fuck this question, it makes me think of my worst fucking fear in the world, being homeless and having to live like this. If I was LITERALLY STARVING, I'm sure I'd probably eventually look, because it's that or fucking die. I mean, look at the food we sometimes throw away, it's oftentimes fine, we're just being picky. I would never do this if I wasn't in this exact situation though.

When you last watched a movie, did you watch it alone or with someone? With someone. I never watch movies alone.

Does your job allow piercings or tattoos? No bullshit, I wouldn't work somewhere that didn't. Get with the fuckin' times.

Ever had a caricature done of yourself? How much was it, and were you satisfied with it? No.

Do you like peanut butter and fluff sandwiches? I haven't tried this since I was a child, but I remember I didn't as a kid because the texture bothered me.

Ever been to Gaia Online? Do you have an account? No, I've only heard of it.

If you got married and then got divorced, would you want to re-marry? I don't know.

Would you ever enlist in the army? I'd rather diiiiiiieeeeeee <3

Last time you were at a job interview? How did it go? Maybe like... 2019. I got the job. Didn't last long.

What’s one place you’d NEVER want to work at? I would never, EVER work in food, especially fast food. Hungry people are fucking mean. I also write super slow so would write down orders too slowly but more importantly than that, my memory is actual garbage and I KNOW I'd often fuck up, and that pisses people off.

Do you use Tumblr? What do you normally post? Yes, my main blog focuses on Rammstein.

Did you tease freshmen in high school? No, because I found it remarkably immature. Like, you were once a freshman too and didn't want to be picked on.

Have you ever been to Las Vegas? Nope, that's farther than I've ever traveled.

Do you like Taylor Swift? I don't like any billionaire, thanks.

What’s your favorite Disney Channel movie? Disney Channel movie? I dunno.

Do you ever have to do yard work? No.

Do you have any live versions of songs in your music software? Yes.

Does your favorite band have a male or female lead singer? For both, male.

Do you prefer group or individual work? Individual. I fucking dreaded group work when I was in school. Thankfully most of my teachers trusted me to work alone.

Do you have a key to anything besides your house? No.

Have you ever been to any sort of convention? I went to the country's most popular NARBC with Sara.

Is your mom or dad the older parent? Mom.

Last thing that pissed you off? Seeing a video of pet meerkats. I struggle to understand why it's legal in some countries.

What about kids on leashes? What do you think about that? People overreact immensely to this. Like what, would you rather your kid be snatched? Or have them wander off? "Well teach them to stay by you!" That doesn't always work. What about kids with mental issues that are more inclined to wander and stuff? I'd rather your kids be safe.

New tats in your near future? How about piercings or re-piercings? Tattoos, no, not in the near future. I want loads more, but they're not a priority right now for whenever I am gifted money. Perhaps I'll get my nose repierced for Christmas, but I don't know.

Would you ever visit a psychic medium? If you would, what would you wanna know? I don't fuck with scam artists.

What’s something you have a very strong opinion about? Abortion rights, to name one thing. I have a lot of very strong opinions.

Are you family-orientated in everything you do? No.

Do others consider you to be stuck up? I can't see how anyone would think that.

Would you often call yourself a moody person? I know I am.

Are you self-sufficient? Honestly, no.

Sleep position? Side or stomach. I physically cannot sleep on my back.

Who is your best friend? My boyfriend.

Do you have an online best friend as well? My closest online friends are Tez and Mazzy.

Who is your favorite person to spend time with? My boyfriend.

Have you ever had tendinitis? No.

Do you know how to grill a steak? Sure don't.

Do you mosh when you go to concerts/shows? I never have and wouldn't. Mosh pits scare me.

When’s the last time you went to a nightclub? Never been to one, don't want to.

Are you good at playing darts? I wouldn't really know, but considering I'm really uncoordinated, most likely not.

Are “school friends” and friends different to you? Yes. They can overlap, but not all "school friends" are true friends, y'know?

Do you like breaded chicken sandwiches? Love 'em.

Ever been friends with someone you didn’t expect? Yes.

The last time you kissed someone, were your arms around their neck? No.

Have you had any form of exercise today? No.

Do you know anyone who is pregnant right now? Yes.

Your first dog? I was born into the family with a collie named Trigger, but I have no memories of her, she died when I was young. Who *I* consider to be our first dog was Angel, because I remember her. She died of parvo when young, though. She got quite unlucky, she also had her leg run over by a car... Don't ask me why she was outside unleashed.

Is it easy for you to pretend everything’s okay? No.

Do you prefer mint, citrus, or cinnamon toothpaste? Mint.

What’s your favorite color out of these five: Green, Yellow, Blue, or Purple? Purple.

Have you done anything sneaky lately? No.

Do you keep notes, drawings or letters that people give you? Yes, I have a box for that.

Have you had a significant other that you never kissed? I've dated people I've never kissed. "Significant other" sounds more serious.

Do you depend on people at all, in any way? Quite a lot. I've already sorta covered how much I depend on my mom. I live with her, don't work, don't have some other stream of income. I don't drive because I panic behind the wheel and it makes me unsafe.

Have you written or drawn anything for somebody else? Yes to both, many times.

Do you have any pictures of yourself with the person you like? A few, but not many. Neither of us are picture people.

[randomestfandoms-ocs]

How do you do ships with other people’s ocs? Like, developing through roleplay or?

in my case, a lot of it comes from crossover ask games that help develop ideas, sometimes if I make an OC and know one of my friends has ocs in the same fandom I'll just send them an ask to basically say heyyyy here's a new oc any thoughts if any of your ocs would make a good crossover, hey any vibes/headcanons on crossovers between these specific people, hey this crossover thought just hit me like a train what do you think, etc

(i have a crossover ask tag here for some examples of how those conversations look – though those are mostly people sending me the asks not ones I send – and a general crossover tag here for more examples!)

it's also very helpful for me that 90% of the time I only talk to the same small handful of people and they're all people that I've talked about crossovers with before so talking about new ones isn't hard – talking to new people about crossovers is definitely more intimidating haha! always worried that they won't like me or my oc or the vibes etc – and then it's mostly just sporadic conversations when we have ideas

I haven't done a lot of roleplay at all (I do have an rp blog but kind of forgot about it whoops 😭), especially with crossovers, but it's definitely not something that I'm against either

I definitely think the best starting point is just to ask! (i say, being terrible at starting any conversations) if you have a specific crossover that you're interested in with someone you can always start with like "hey, i'm super interested in a crossover between these ocs, this is sort of the vibe i can see, you interested?" or if you just want a crossover (or want to give them options in case they aren't feeling the same specific vibe) you can always go with a "hey, i'd really love to talk about crossovers, do you have any ocs who might work with [your oc]" or "hey, i'd really love to talk about crossovers, do you have any ideas on crossovers between our ocs" – just in that case make sure it's easy to find your ocs lol! I've gotten that ask in the past when people don't really have lists of ocs or any easy to find information (consistent tags help the most imo, masterlists are good, really just anything that helps them actually find your ocs/get an idea of them to think of ideas) and it's really hard because you want to make good suggestions but if you can't find the ocs, you can't really figure out where to start

It's also obviously different starting the crossover conversation with someone you already talk to, whose ocs you know and who knows yours, and where you probably already have a bit of an idea of each other's vibes and likes/dislikes with ocs compared to someone you've never talked to. Both can go very well and be very fun, but if you're nervous you can always start with just sending some asks about their ocs or a "hey are crossovers a thing you're interested in?" and building a bit of a connection first, but that's really a personal preference/level of social anxiety decision imo!

i feel like this was a lot of rambling without a lot of useful info so if anyone else has thoughts, drop them in the replies to help anon out <3!!

[fnaffersblog]

Alright take two.

Spoilers for the sun and moon show episode

the sun and moon episode RUIN Sun TRAPPED Moon in VRCHAT LOLOLOLOL See link above

It's late and EVERYTHING is funny

(Trigger Warning Below Cut for: discussions of violence [Bloodmoon, Jigsaw], discussions of mental health [Sun], swearing, [because I'm incorrigible])

I'll be honest I do NOT like the name Jigsaw. I just simply do not like it. It's just not clicking with me for some reason. It sounds like the name is still up in the air in the show as well, but I hope I settled with it real quick if it does become the canon name for this dude.

I couldn't tell you WHY. It's just not sitting with me yet, which is bothering me because it's such a silly reason to dislike the appearance of a character. Especially since I REALLY like this guy.

yeah ya'll are right. Moon's concern for Sun's wellbeing is endearing

More of a gripe with Security Breach, but they missed an opportunity to call the game Glampire. I mean, come on. It's right there!

I try very hard not to be someone who nips about stuff on the show but the 'watch to the end to see...' is... really annoying. I've had to click off a couple videos because I was just... I dunno, they struck me the wrong way? Like, I'm already watching the episode? I want to watch the episode? I don't want to watch the episode when that thing pops up, makes me feel like I'm being told my attention span is not long enough or something. It feels kinda... insulting? But it feels dumb to call it that. It's just something I'm perturbed by. :/ I feel like I saw someone else mention this somewhere, maybe here or in the comments of a vid. So I hope it's not just a me thing.

I wonder why they started doing that? Maybe people were only watching so far into the videos? I'd be genuinely interested in seeing the analytics of the channel. I know that's not an option lol, but I just like data and looking at data. Correlating it to decisions and stuff. ANYWAY

I've also never understood peoples, like, people point out the cameras a lot as being shorter than normal or taller than normal or shakier and ascribing that to being a character when it just always felt like camera work to me. Cause, you know, it's VR CHAT, they gotta work with what they got.

But I did kind of understand this episode, because all I could imagine as Moon was walking through the Arcade back area was Ruin/Jigsaw/'whatever their name is when it's cemented in the future' doing that goofy, like, long legged cartoon walk where someone's sneakin' around in like tom and jerry or loony toons.

or Sims 4 because this is the closest gif I could find lol

THEY'RE SO GODDAMN MENACING RRRRRRRRRGH

They make me genuinely nervous when they TALK it's so GOOD

Like, my heart clenches up you know what I mean?

"THERE'S NOTHING TO SEPERATE" SLAPPIG MY LEGS SLAPPING MY LEGS YESSSSSSSSSS

BOP IT TWIST IT BREAK IT BEND IT KILL YOUR FAMILY FUCK AROUND FIND OUT SPIN IT

LOL THEY DID IT RIGHT AFTER I DID IM WHEEZING

This guy is so. They're SO interesting to me. They're

They remind me of Bloodmoon. But only a little bit. In, like, a similar but opposite way.

so Bloodmoon, like I've said before, was built for killing. It was weaved into their code from the get-go to be violent. But they also enjoyed it, killing people was something they relished in.

This guy also seems to enjoy killing people, but unlike Bloodmoon, if they are to be believed, they are a fusion between Sun and Moon. As far as we know Sun and Moon were not programmed with any sort of penchant for violence. There was Killcode, but Killcode was a virus before he gained sentience, and if New Moon is anything to base off of, those violence urges were not hard coded into him. And if the AI is to be believed the only two folks in this particular robot are Sun and Moon.

Which seems to me like wherever this want for torture came from, they developed it on their own. Whether that be because of the events of the Ruin DLC or what, I don't know but I'm super excited to see all that unfold.

They also seem to enjoy it differently. Bloodmoon killed his victims, violently. They seemed to enjoy the viscera and gore of murdering people more than the lead up. After all they liked blood.

This guy is much more patient, all the way down to how they speak. They enjoy causing PAIN. It's a game to them, because it's fun. Their enjoyment comes from the torment before the kill. It's why he describes what he's going to do to Moon, I don't even think they mention killing at all, THAT'S what he enjoys.

"Moon suggest a different game! Moon suggest a different game!" Lol

"Rock a bye baby *doge w/dolphin sounds*" Had me crying.

As Jigsaw was following Moon back out of the arcade, they'd pass into a more shaded area and his eyes glowed which was Really cool and also Really unsettling.

"We can make them count as limbs" fuck me he's so unsettling

STOP DOING THE POOR SINNERS HAND BIT STOP IT STOP IT

PUT IT BACK ON THE SHELF

WE'RE PUTTING IT THE CABINET

" I don't owe you anything."

"Yes you do! You owe me a game!" Pouty face. (:(

Should have suggested, like, a vocal rendition of Rush E or The Diva Dance from The Fifth Element or something.

I guess... they're robots though. So maybe notes like that wouldn't affect them. Might have set them on fire thought maybe?

Moon's performance was very nice! It really is a good song for his character. It takes a lot of confidence to sing in front of ANY type of audience.

Jigsaw really takes everything in stride. Moon insults him and he doesn't even respond at all.

The lil' nose boop.

The little head bonk.

"I'm yOU remember?"

OOOHHH He does NOT like cheating OOOOOOHHHHHHHH EFFFFFF

I was wrong there are something's he does not take in stride

I

LOVE him. He is shooting way up on my list of characters I look forward to seeing in episodes.

"Well I'm still standing here!" "And I'm way better than I ever was." LOL

You know I can see no cons of creating a portal gun. I think that would be highly beneficial and there would be no terrible outcomes that ignite from the building of a piece of machinery that allows instantaneous travel between two designated locations via breaking the very fabric of space time. Not a single bad thing could come from making something

Yeah okay never mind

(Sorry I gotta poke a leettle bit of fun at the guy who decided making the Newton Star was a good idea thinking making another high-tech piece of equipment is a good idea. I'll make fun of the satellite too, probably, when it comes around don't ya'll worry)

"Ohhhh NOOOoooo DOn't LEEaave ME MOOOnnn PLEEEeaase." As Moon just turns around and walks away

Followed immediately by a fucking jump scare Jesus Christ

But it worked right? It fucking worked, it lulled me into a false sense of security. Like, this guy who was threatening Moon's limbs not seven minutes earlier went into goofy silly clown mode and I fell for it sooooo, like. It worked.

It sounds like this was the first time Moon actually said anything about his trip to another dimension to Sun. So this is being dropped onto Sun with almost no warning.

Sun learned Moon would be gone for a week, and immediately went 'can we hang out?'

He very much needs some support right now. We're, what, a week post-hallucination episode? He needs his support group with him right now, it is a critical point, but he's too afraid to ask for it straight up so instead he's asking around it so to speak.

Instead of asking Moon to stay or telling him what the problem is, he's asking if Moon will play a game with him instead. Hang out. Be in his presence.

There are so many reasons this could be. Perhaps he would feel selfish asking Moon to hold off on completing this satellite to stay with him, especially if he's not comfortable with telling Moon WHY just yet, because if he doesn't offer a reasonable explanation then there's no justification for Moon staying, at least in Sun's eyes. It could be embarrassment over the issues, maybe he feels like he's blowing it out of proportion. Maybe he feels like he's asked or taken too much support already, and outright asking for more will end in not having any support at all.

Any number of things. It's easier to ask now when he knows Moon is 'not busy', maybe even more likely to say yes. And he's grasping for it too, "any random game" he just doesn't want to be alone because he just found out he's going to be alone very suddenly in a time when he should not really be alone at all, whether he knows that or not. He certainly doesn't want to be.

I see people often say that 'the worst thing someone can tell you is no'. They generally mean it in a positive way? I guess? I think Sun is at that point where, yes, one of the worst things you could say to him is no. So even an unenthusiastic 'I don't REALLY want to hang out with you' yes is better than a 'no'. Because a no means he'll be alone for sure, while a unenthused yes still means he won't be alone. Does this make sense? It feels clunky, did I explain this right?

Yeah the demeanor change from after asking Moon about the satellite, to finding out he has to leave for it, to finding out he's not leaving right away, to finding out Moon is going to hang out with him despite not sounding enthusiastic about it (because at least its something, you know?) was a trip.

I know Moon's probably stressed right now too, but the 'isn't there something you wanted to drag me along with' was unnecessarily hurtful.

I feel like we're slowly leaning back into past cycles with these two. Like, Moon not telling Sun about something big and important like that. Sun pushing down problems into something else. We'll see. It's just hints at it for now.

Sorry for the downer boo boo ending to the post ;-;

Maybe the next one will be a bit cheerier?

[llycaons]

came to the conclusion as I have several times before that I am simply not cut out for my job. I am bad at it, slow and a poor communicator and passive and easily overwhelmed. they said it would take about a year (from hiring? or from being on my own? either way) but whatever makes people slip into the flow and anticipate needs and Know The Supplies, maybe I would have gotten it had I gotten the normal training. maybe I wouldn't have. its easy to say 'oh I'm struggling because I'm in a unique situation' and maybe that's true, but I had trouble long before we got the Unique Training part, and then since the training was so different I had trouble with that, to the exasperation of my trainers and co-workers. and it really didn't feel good every day to know you're not living up the expectations and standards of the people around you, to know without a doubt they're all smarter and more adaptable and quicker-thinking than you.

I'm doing okay now since I'm one of the very few people on my unit and they desperately need me, and leadership is covering for my inadequacies by sending me to do easy stuff when I need to get floated, but like...there are team members who are extremely hostile to me and its for good reason! and it makes it worse to know THEY'RE not the ones in the wrong. maybe they could be nicer, but if I truly had confidence in myself, it wouldn't bother me so much.

but I don't know what to do. there is no other job I can do with these qualifications and skills, and no way to leave this city until late next year. and I need this income. I'm going to limp along until I can safely extract myself, but until then, we'll all have to bear it. and it's a terrible thing, to know you're a burden on your team and that you're only here because everyone else has quit. if I thought I would ever actually put someone in danger, I'd of course leave immediately. but I'm doing relatively straightforward cases with very qualified people all around me, and I know the basics to keep people safe at least

I find myself thinking about my strongest critic, who quit a few months ago, and how much my failure to adapt may have led to that decision. maybe it's self-centered; there were many issues far before I came along. and they haven't spoken to even their closest friend here in months, so I think they probably resent this place a lot and want to leave it all behind, and I don't blame them

things have gotten so much better recently because of those staff members quitting and my manager waking up to realize she has to actually support us, and I don't dread going to work anymore, even to float. tho we haven't been canceled in ages 😔 I don't know, I think the true issue is that I just need more predictability and stability in the things I do on a day to day basis. I learn slowly, and I have trouble remembering things. ideally I would find a job where we do a limited type of low-acuity cases every day but still....pays as well? I don't know, I don't know. give this another year then I'm sure everyone will be happy to see my back.

it's difficult to see yourself as incompetent, disliked, and unwanted in your job, and not have that bleed over into your personal feelings about yourself. it's really hard. I think of my failures and the anger, contempt, and aggression that came to me as a result, and it really makes me nervous. we're doing cases in another part of the hospital soon, with different people. it was such a mess last time! why was I so overwhelmed?

it's frustrating. I know I can do some of these cases - even difficult ones like livers and kidneys- and do them perfectly competently. I'm fine in any belly case. I even enjoyed neuro. I just freeze up when I don't have confidence. I don't know what to do all the time! and I need to be in a situation where I do. I don't know how much work I can even do on my end to Not Be Like This. studying didn't seem to help, and I can't study from the internet anyway since every place does things differently.

I've always thought I'd either leave here and then go back home, or stay exactly in place, but I could still stay a year and then just get another job in the same place.

I've always wanted to get higher certification, but knowing the people around me are way more competent without having that, it feels like a joke. a slap in the face. I dont have anything neat to wrap this up with it's just. I've always been so good at school and so proud of that even when I don't have much else to lean on. so this feels really bad. I should contact my EAP counselor today

[ninelivesastrology]

Whenever someone treats me nicely after attacking me, sometimes I remember my abuser and I am reminded that I don't want to be on that rollercoaster with a single mf soul ever again. It couldn't even really be that situation, but still... I'm gone mentally in an instant. I don't need to revisit that.

I can't even make it about a present person, like this is me versus me, this is about me understanding what makes me feel uncomfortable and not falling into familiar dynamics. This is about me going where I'm respected and valued, never trying to be where I am not. I don't chase waterfalls or pots of gold.

I really try to honor my choices and a part of honoring those choices is realizing that I have them in the first place.

A big part of self-awareness is just knowing you don't like certain shit and moving accordingly. In my experience, a lot of people take it personally when I move accordingly, like I'm too good for them or better than them or some shit and the whole time I'm respecting the fact that they dislike me and letting them do that. I don't know why it ever has to be more than that. I don't know why indifference comes across as an offense. Indifference is the best response.

I'm not here to impress a single soul and I'm not jumping through hoops in any relationship but the one with my child. I don't need to be liked by people, but I feel like people feel as if I should be stuck in that emotion, stuck wondering, "Why am I not good enough for this relationship/friendship?" That's so fucking tired.

And I guess it's off-putting when people flip flop on me because they're not being true to themselves. It's not about me, it's about them. Like if someone doesn't like me at first, honor that, don't think I'm owed a second or third chance. I had sooo many weird interactions, "I bet you think you're better than me" like literally at the start of a fake 2 year friendship and I swear, looking back, it was like she was holding the hoop for me to jump through and the worst part is that I did... Never take the bait.

If someone already decides who you are, it's not your place to prove it. Prove nothing. Just be sorry they feel that way because they confess in interactions like that.

I faced a lot of rejection in my life, so when someone dislikes me, I read that for the blatant NO it is and I feel like people get so angry at me for reading the room when they wanna spin the block. I'm trying to figure out what changed and when and if I think too hard about it, it's not worth it. Confusion isn't worth it and I learned that the hard way. Me versus meeeee. Like don't do it anymore.

I am never around people I don't like, people I don't care for. I don't need to prove my worth and it's so off-putting to people. I feel like there's this social cue I ignore... It's a catch 22 and I do think it's racially related, like people needing me to be mean so they can start shit with me. I used to be so complimentary and when it was just misconstrued as me being fake or weak, I gave up. And that was when I was really trying to get over my social anxiety and I did probably come off nervous or tense.

And with my physical illness was the constant muscular tension and resulting chronic pain, the stiffness that affected everything, the way I talked, the way I walked, god, even the way I laughed. Maybe it seemed like I was forcing things because my body was forced into working harder.

Once I was on medication, the tension and pain left. Can't say it doesn't hurt to think about all the times people treated me like garbage. Yeah, they didn't know, but they didn't care either. If anything, my physical illness just makes me want to move accordingly even more. There is no choice for me there.