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kchasm · 1 year ago

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Ryu Number: The Sengoku Period/Romance of the Three Kingdoms characters of Warriors Orochi 4 Ultimate, Chapter 2, Part 2

The Fierce Tiger of Jiangdong

Hōjō Tsunashige

Hōjō Ujiyasu

Inomata Kuninori

Ishimaki Yasumasa

Lady Hayakawa

Ogasawara Yasuhiro

Ueda Norisada

Sanada Yukimura

Gracia

Ii Naotora

Guan Yinping

Sima Yi

Zhang Chunhua

Da Qiao/Daqiao (Historically 大橋, in Romance of the Three Kingdoms 大喬, Dai Kyou): One of the famous sisters known as the Two Qiaos of Jiangdong. Her name is historically lost; “Da Qiao” simply means “older Qiao.” In 199, she and her sister were taken captive by Sun Ce’s army; Da Qiao subsequently married Sun Ce. In Romance of the Three Kingdoms, part of what presses Zhou Yu to convince Sun Quan to ally with Liu Bei against Cao Cao is Zhuge Liang convincing him that Cao wants the two sisters for himself.

Ding Feng

Lady Sun (孫夫, Son-Fujin; her name is unknown, but Chinese opera often gives her the name Sun Shangxiang/孫尚香/Son Shoukou, as does Warriors Orochi 4): Daughter of Sun Jian. In 209, she was married to Liu Bei as part of an alliance. She was known for her arrogant behavior. When Liu Bei left Jing Province in 211 to attack warlord Liu Zhang, Sun Quan fetched her back to Wu; she attempted to take Liu Bei’s son Liu Shan (who wasn’t even her son) but was stopped. In Romance of the Three Kingdoms, she’s called Sun Ren (孫仁, Son Jin) and commits suicide when she hears that Lou Bei has been killed at the 221-222 Battle of Xiaoting (which he hasn’t).

Lianshi

Liu Ping (留平, Ryuu Hei): Served under the third emperor of Wu, Sun Xiu, and the fourth, Sun Hao. Unfortunately, Sun Hao was a real jerk. In 271, he launched an attack against Jin, but also brought his wife, mother, and harem along, which created real work for the army so much that grumblings of defection led Sun Hao to abort the deal. For this, Sun Hao began to bear a grudge against one of the generals there, Liu Ping. He tried to poison Liu Ping, which failed, but Ping ended up dying of stress anyway in 272.

Lü Fan (呂範, Ryo Han): An official under warlord Yuan Shu who served under Sun Ce, both when Ce was a general under Shu and also afterward, when Ce became an independent warlord. Father of Lü Ju. Requested a low-ranking position so that he could more effectively manage and train troops. Served Sun Quan after Sun Ce’s death. Died of illness 228.

Pan Lin (潘臨, Han Rin): The Shanyue were a collection of Yue hill tribes (and bandits) known for resisting Sun Ce and Sun Quan; Pan Lin led a group of them. Lu Xun defeated him. Some webpages say that Pan Lin subsequently served Wu, so assuming that’s true, I guess that’s why he’s here?

Sun Ben (孫賁, Son Hon): Nephew of Sun Jian. After Sun Jian’s death c. 191, Sun Ben served Yuan Shu as Jian had. He broke ties with Yuan Shu after the latter declared himself emperor, and joined Sun Ce. Served in the 208-209 Battle of Red Cliffs, then died of illness.

Sun Ce (孫策, Son Saku): Born 175. Warlord who laid the foundation of Wu. Oldest son of Sun Jian. Originally worked with Yuan Shu, but broke away from him after he declared himself emperor. He was assassinated in 200 by subordinates of a man he had had executed. In Romance of the Three Kingdoms, his death is a lot more dramatic; after being badly wounded in an attempted assassination, he has a Taoist priest executed (unrelated to the assassination thing), and is subsequently haunted by the man’s specter to the point where basically a combination of the stress and the wound kill him.

Sun Huan (孫桓, Son Kan): Born 198. Participated in the successful 219 invasion of Jing Province against Guan Yu’s forces. During the 221-222 Battle of Xiaoting, he was besieged by Liu Bei’s forces at Yidao and held out until Bei’s forces were defeated elsewhere and the siege was lifted.

Sun Jian (孫堅, Son Ken): Born 155. Minor warlord, but influential. Father of Sun Ce and Sun Quan. During the Campaign against Dong Zhuo in 190, Sun Jian joined and became a subordinate of warlord Yuan Shu, accomplishing major success in his operations. In 191, he was sent by Yuan Shu to attack Liu Biao, the governor of Jing Province. His date of death is unclear; one source says he was killed in an ambush by Liu Biao’s men; another source says that he was killed in 193 by a different individual under Liu Biao.

Sun Jing (孫靜, 孫静, Son Sei): Youngest brother of Sun Jian. He aided Sun Ce, and his knowledge helped defeat warlord Wang Lang. Afterward, he refused an important position in favor of being assigned to the region of his family home, where he spent the rest of his life. In Romance of the Three Kingdoms he is mistakenly referred to as Sun Quan’s brother.

Sun Kuang (孫匡, Son Kyou): Born after 184. Fourth and youngest son of Sun Jian. When Sun Ce began to consolidate power between 194 and 199, Cao Cao, who was wary of Ce’s growing influence, sought to arrange marital ties between his and Ce’s families; Cao’s niece (a daughter of Cao Ren) married Sun Kuang. However, Sun Kuang died in his early twenties before he could hold any of the offices he was nominated for. Some sources have him be the one who disastrously almost completely ruined the defense of Wu against Wei in 222, but that was most probably actually Sun Lang.

Sun Lang (孫朗, Son Rou): Son of Sun Jian and half-brother of Sun Quan. In 222, when Wei attacked Wu, Wu military general Lü Fan prohibited fire attacks on account of unfavorable weather. Sun Lang sprung for one anyway and accidentally set his own camp on fire, and much of Lü Fan’s naval fleet ended up destroyed, which nearly spelled disaster for Wu as a whole, though it was all salvaged in the end. Sun Lang subsequently had his ranks stripped and spent his life under house arrest.

Sun Quan

Sun Tai (孫泰, Son Tai): Son of Sun Kuang. Killed by an arrow in the 234 Battle of Hefei Xincheng (when Wu attacked the Wei city of Hefei).

Sun Xiu (孫休, Son Kyuu): Born 235. Son of Sun Quan and third emperor of Wu. When the second emperor, Sun Liang attempted to get state power from his regent Sun Chen, Chen stopped the movement, unemperored Chen, and replaced him with Xiu in 258. Sun Xiu then had Sun Chen killed in 259. With incapable and corrupt subordinates, he was not an effective emperor. He died in 264 have designated his son Sun Wan as his heir; however, his wishes were ignored and the adult Sun Hao was emperored instead of the still-child Wan.

Quan Cong (全琮, Zen Sou; sometimes mistranslated, as in Warriors Orochi 4, as Quan Zong): In a notable event, he gave away grain for free to hungry people instead of selling it. Began his career under Sun Quan. When Sun Quan ordered his crown prince Sun Deng to lead troops into battle, flouting custom, Quan Cong diplomatically advised him to do otherwise. When he led troops to attack Wei-controlled land in 233 and civilians fled, he refused to use his men to hunt them down. He became embroiled in the succession struggle between Sun Quan’s sons Sun He and Sun Ba, supporting Sun Ba, but died before the drama concluded in 250. He was either born 196 and died 247, or was born 198 and died 249.

Quan Xi (全熈, 全煕, Zen Ki): When disastrous Wu regent Zhuge Ke was ousted in 253, Quan Xi was one of the ones ordered to go and arrest Ke’s relative Zhuge Rong. When Wei general Zhuge Dan revolted in 257, Quan Xi was among those sent by Wu as support. At some point his family tried to leave Wu for Wei but the plan was found out and Quan Xi was killed. If this mini-biography is weirdly vague it’s because there is like, one Wikipedia article in Japanese about this guy and I trust machine translation as far as I can toss it.

Taishi Ci

Tang Zi (唐咨, Tou Shi): In 225, a rebellion broke out in Licheng Commandery, with Tang Zi nominated to became the new leader, but Wei emperor Cao Pi suppressed the revolt and Zi fled to Wu. He was one of the ones sent by Wu to support Zhuge Dan’s rebellion in Wei in 257, but when the rebellion failed Tang Zi was captured by Wei and agreed to serve them.

Wang Dun (王惇, Ou Ton): In 256, He conspired to kill Sun Chen, the cruel regent of Sun Liang, but the plot was discovered and Wang Dun was killed.

Wu Jing (吳景, 呉景, Go Kei): Brother of Sun Jian’s wife. Served Sun Jian, then (after Jian was killed in 191) warlord Yuan Shu, then (after Shu declared himself emperor) Sun Ce. Died 203.

Xiao Qiao/Xiaoqiao (Historically 小橋, in Romance of the Three Kingdoms 小喬, Shou Kyou): One of the famous sisters known as the Two Qiaos of Jiangdong. Her name is historically lost; “Xiao Qiao” simply means “younger Qiao.” In 199, she and her sister were taken captive by Sun Ce’s army; Xiao Qiao subsequently married Zhou Yu.

Yu Fan (虞翻, Gu Hon): Born 164. Originally a served under Wang Lang, the Administrator of Kuaiji Commandery. After Wang Lang was defeated by Sun Ce, Yu Fan ended up working for Ce. After Sun Ce’s death, he served Sun Quan. Though he was accomplished, his straightforward nature and habit of insulting people eventually caused Sun Quan to exile him to Jiao Province. Died 233.

Zhang Cheng (張承 Chou Shou) This Zhang Cheng had the courtesy name Zhongsi (仲嗣, Chuushi) Born 178. Served under Sun Quan. Said to be a good judge of character, forseeing Zhuge Ke as headed for nothing good. Two of his children were purged in the aftermath of Zhuge Ke’s downfall. Died 244.

Zhang Shao (張紹, Chou Shou): There was a Zhang Shao with these characters who was the son of Zhang Fei and surrendered to Wei after Shu collapsed, but this is supposed to be a member of the Wu forces, so it shouldn’t be that guy, right? There’s a possibility that this is supposed to be Zhang Zhao (張昭), whose name uses similar characters and is also pronounced “Chou Shou” in Japanese, but this is speculation. Or of course, perhaps there was an unrelated Zhang Shao who did serve Wu that I’m just not coming across. If this is supposed to be Zhang Zhao, suffice to say: Born 156, became an advisor to Sun Ce, significantly supported Sun Quan after Ce’s death, suggested in 208 that Quan surrender to Cao Cao because he felt Quan wasn’t going to win (Quan totally did), died 236, known for a stern and uncompromising personality.

Zhou Yu (周瑜, Shuu Yu): Born 175. Strategist who initially served Sun Ce. He accompanied Sun Ce when Sun Ce still operated under Yuan Shu, and continued to follow and assist Sun Ce when Sun Ce broke ties with Yuan Shu after Shu declared himself emperor. After Sun Ce was assassinated in 200, he was succeeded by his younger brother Sun Quan, and Zhou Yu began to assist him. He was influential in convincing Sun Quan to fight back against Cao Cao when Cao Cao began to threaten him in 208, and helped defeat Cao Cao’s numerically superior force at the Battle of Red Cliffs. Died of illness 210.

Zhu En (朱恩, Shu On): Subordinate of Zhuge Ke; served in Ke’s personal police force. When Zhuge Ke was killed by Sun Jun, Zhu En died in the subsequent purges.

Zhu Ran

Zhu Zhi (朱治, Shu Chi): Born 156.Served Sun Jian and participated in the campaign against Dong Zhuo, then served Sun Ce, then Sun Quan. Known for his modesty, including politically. Retired to his hometown. Died 224.

Sima Yi

Zhang Chunhua

Protecting the Bracelet

Asano Nagaakira (浅野長晟): Born 1586. Served Toyotomi Hideyoshi, then, in 1594, began serving Tokugawa Ieyasu, and was allied with him in the 1600 Battle of Sekigahara and the 1614-1615 Siege of Osaka. Died 1632.

Ii Naotora

Ikeda Shigeyasu (池田重安): He originally served vassals of the Takeda clan, but by the 1600 Battle of Sekigahara, he was under Sanada Nobuyuki (in the Eastern Army). Though Shigeyasu appears as a dot on the map, it’s not really possible to see him before he’s defeated by Nezha and disappears, so this may not count as an appearance.

Naitō Tadaoki (内藤忠興): Born 1592. Served Tokugawa Ieyasu. Rode out against orders to serve Tokugawa Ieyasu directly during the 1614 Siege of Osaka. Died 1674.

Sakakibara Yasumasa

Yūki Hideyasu (結城秀康): Born 1574. Second son of Tokugawa Ieyasu, he was adopted first by Toyotomi Hideyoshi and then by Yūki Harumasa. During the 1600 Battle of Sekigahara, he helped prevent the western advance of Uesugi Kagakatsu. Afterward, he returned to his father’s original surname, Matsudaira. Died 1607. Though Hideyasu appears as a dot on the map, it’s not really possible to see him before he’s defeated by Nezha and disappears, so this may not count as an appearance.

Sanada Yukimura

Fūma Kotarō

Akechi Hidemitsu

Akechi Mitsuhide

Gracia

Hachisuka Koroku

Kuki Yoshitaka

Mori Ranmaru

Nakagawa Kiyohide (中川清秀): Surrendered to Oda Nobunaga in 1571 and began serving him. When Araki Murashige rebelled in 1578, Kiyohide also rebelled, but then surrendered to Oda Nobunaga and went back to serving him. In the Oda succession crisis, Kiyohide sided with Toyotomi Hideyoshi and Oda Nobukatsu; he died in the 1583 Battle of Shizugatake against Shibata Katsuie and Oda Nobutaka forces.

Nō

Ogawa Suketada (小川祐忠): Born 1535. Served Oda Nobunaga, but went to Akechi Mitsuhide’s side after the 1582 Honnō-ji Incident. Afterward, he ended up serving Toyotomi Hideyoshi. He joined the 1600 Battle of Sekigahara on the side of the Western Army, but defected to the Eastern Army. Died 1601.

Oda Nobukatsu

Saitō Toshimitsu

Yamauchi Kazutoyo

Yasuda Kunitsugu (安田国継): Born 1556. Served Saitō Toshimitsu and Akechi Mitsuhide. Participated on Akechi’s side at the 1582 Honnō-ji Incident; some say that he was the one who killed Oda Nobunaga there. Died 1597 on the same day that Oda Nobunaga died; it’s said he committed suicide due to a boil on his cheek and that he was cursed for killing Nobunaga.

Guan Yinping

Hu Ji ( 胡濟, 胡済, Go Sei): General of Shu. He was unable to meet up with Jiang Wei’s forces in a 256 campaign against Wei, leading to Jiang Wei’s defeat.

Liu Bei

Shi Bao (石苞, Seki Hou): A minor government official who got by by selling weapons. His talents were recognized and he was made into a governor. Helped defeat Zhuge Dan’s rebellion in 257-258. Continued his service when Wei became Jin in 266. Was suspected of Being Treasonous for some time but was cleared. Died 273.

Sima Fu (司馬孚, Shiba Fu): Born 180. Brother of Sima Yi. Notably loyal to the Wei emperors despite the machinations of his family; when Cao Mao died in 260 trying to seize back power he was one of the few who wept at his funeral. When Sima Yan, his grandnephew, finally made himself emperor of Jin, Sima Fu refused any title of nobility. Died 272.

Sima Jin

Sima Shi (司馬師, Shiba Shi): Born 208. First son of Sima Yi, who he assisted in removing Cao Shuang from the picture in 249 so that Yi should have all the Wei regency powers for himself (some sources say Sima Shi was the only one Yi planned it with). He became regent after Sima Yi’s death in 251. Nominal emperor Cao Fang sought to get his power back in 254, but Sima Shi got an inkling of discontent and made him step down in favor of Cao Mao. She died after putting down another rebellion, in 255, from complications from an operation that removed a tumor from his eye.

Sima Yi

Sima You (司馬攸, Shiba Yuu): Born 246. Second son of Sima Zhao. Sima Yan, emperor of Jin, wanted his developmentally disabled son Sim Zhong to be the next emperor, and was concerned that people favored Sima You, so he had You sent away from Politics to his fiefdom in 282. Died in 283 of stress.

Sima Zhao

Wang Yuanji

Xiahou Xuan

Xin Chang

Zhang Chunhua

The Young Dragon Obeys the Goddess

Kunoichi

Sanada Yukimura

Takeda Shingen

Fūma Kotarō

Uesugi Kenshin

Sanada Nobuyuki

Bao Sanniang (鮑三娘, Hou Sanjou): Fictional wife of the fictional Guan Suo. In folklore, she’s a warrior who Guan Suo hears tell of and challenges to a spar; when he defeats her, she proposes. After her husband dies in battle, she guards Jiameng Pass until her death. Or maybe dies defending it. Or dies of illness there. That’s folklore, my dudes.

Chen Dao (陳到, Chin Tou): Served Shu. Little is known about him, but he was the leader of one of Liu Bei’s elite units. Active from the 190s to the 230s.

Guan Ping

Guan Suo (關索, 関索, Kan Saku): In Romance of the Three Kingdoms, a fictional son of Guan Yu who served Shu. He is often folklorically described as being handsome and having many wives.

Guan Xing (關興, 関興, Kan Kou): Son of Guan Yu and younger brother of Guan Ping. When he became an adult, he became an official in Shu, but died some years later. Romance of the Three Kingdoms gives him a larger role and has him in more of a warrior role; he kills Pan Zhang (the Wu general who captured Guan Yu) and kills two former Liu Han whose defections to Sun Quan led to the event.

Guan Yi (關彝, 関彝, Kan I): Grandson of Guan Yu and son of Guan Xing. Some sources say he died after Shu’s 263 fall; in Romance of the Three Kingdoms he’s killed by Wei soldiers during Zhong Hui’s attempted rebellion in 264.

Guan Yinping

Liu Bei

Liu Ning (劉寧, Ryuu Nei): Shu General. In the 221-222 Battle of Xiaoting, Liu Bei’s attempt to take back Jing Province from Wu, Liu Ning was defeated and forced to surrender.

Wu Lan (吳蘭, 呉蘭, Go Ran): Served Shu. Killed during the Hanzhong Campaign in 217, either in battle by Cao Hong and Cao Xiu’s forces, or after fleeing by the Di leader Qiangduan (the Di were an ethnic group of western China).

Xingcai (星彩, Seisai):Empress Zhang (張皇后, Chou Kougou) was the daughter of Zhang Fei, who became an Imperial Consort of Shu emperor Liu Shan. She became empress in 238, after the previous empress, her elder sister, died. After Shu was conquered in 264, she joined Liu Shan in Luoyang. Koei gives her the fictional identity of Xingcai.

Zhang Bao (張苞, Chou Hou): Son of Zhang Fei who died early. In Romance of the Three Kingdoms, he fights Guan Xing because he wants to lead forces into the 221-222 Battle of Xiaoting and Liu Bei has to break them up. In Zhuge Liang’s Third Northern Expedition (in 229), he dies of injuries from falling into a gully.

Zhao Yun (趙雲, Chou Un): Served Shu. Originally served warlord Gongsun Zan, and there met Liu Bei, who was sheltering under Zan at the time. Continued his service under Liu Bei’s son Liu Shan and participated in the first of Zhuge Liang’s failed northern expeditions in 228. Died 229. In Romance of the Three Kingdoms he is one of the Five Tiger Generals of Shu. A popular folktale says that he was never scarred in battle, but died of fatal hemorrhage when his wife playfully pricked him with a pin.

Showdown with the Demon King

Sanada Yukimura

Ii Naotora

Sanada Nobuyuki

Akechi Mitsuhide

Gracia

Ishida Mitsunari (石田三成): Born 1560. Served under Toyotomi Hideyoshi. After Toyotomi Hideyoshi’s death in 1598 he was in a very politically unstable position, not helped by Tokugawa Ieyasu’s willingness to ascend to power himself despite being nominally one of the regents of Hideyoshi’s heir. Mitsunari formed a coalition to stand against Tokugawa Ieyasu, culminating in the 1600 Battle of Sekigahara, with Mitsunari’s Western Army against Tokugawa’s Eastern Army, but Mitsunari’s unpopularity with potential allies saw his loss. He attempted to escape but was captured and killed.

Kuki Yoshitaka

Yamauchi Kazutoyo

Mori Nagayoshi (森長可): Born 1558. Older brother of Mori Ranmaru. Served Oda Nobunaga, then Toyotomi Hideyoshi. Shot and killed at the 1584 Battle of Komaki and Nagakute.

Mori Ranmaru

Niwa Nagahide

Nō

Oda Nobunaga

Saitō Toshimitsu

Shibata Katsuie

Takigawa Kazumasu (滝川一益; possibly Takigawa Ichimasu): Born 1525. Served Oda Nobunaga. After Nobunaga’s death, he opposed Toyotomi Hideyoshi alongside Shiba Katsuie, siding with Oda Nobutaka, but was defeated and submitted to Hideyoshi in 1583. After performing suboptimally at the 1584 Battle of Komaki and Nagakute, he retired and became a monk, and died 1586.

Toyotomi Hideyoshi (豊臣秀吉; also “Toyotomi no Hideyoshi”, i.e. Hideyoshi of the Toyotomis): Born 1537. Rose from a peasant background to become one of Nobunaga’s most prominent retainers. Famously built a castle on the edge of enemy territory in a very short amount of time in order to gain an advantage in the 1567 Siege of Inabayama Castle against the Saitō clan. After Nobunaga’s death in 1582, Toyotomi was in a strong position politically. He came into conflict with Shibata Katsuie and Oda Nobutaka when it came time to determine Nobunaga’s heir (being allied with Oda Nobukatsu instead), but prevailed. He completed the unification of Japan under a single rule that had been started by Oda Nobunaga. Later, he attempted a Japanese conquest of China through Korea, but this turned out to be a failure that lost him political strength. When he died in 1598 the invasions were called off. He declared his son Toyotomi Hideyori as his heir and entrusted his care to a Council of Five Elders, but that Didn’t Work Out and Tokugawa Ieyasu (one of the elders) ended up rising to power instead.

Guan Yinping

Liu Bei

Cao Pi (曹丕, Sou Hi): Second son of Cao Cao and first emperor of the state of Wei. He succeeded his father when Cao Cao died in 220. In the same year, he deposed Emperor Xian, finally making the Cao explicitly emperors. Though Sun Quan was nominally one of his vassals, he broke ties with Wei, declaring independence in 222. Died 226.

Cao Zhen (曹珍, Sou Chin): Wei general who worked with Zhuge Dan (back when Dan was still not-rebelling). In 255, he was killed in Gaoting in a clash with Wu forces who were receiving the defecting Wen Qin.

Guo Huai

Lady Zhen (甄夫人, Shin-Fujin; referred to in Warriors Orochi 4 as Zhenji/甄姬/甄姫/Shin-Ki, which means approximately the same, unless you count that second 姬/姫 character as a forename instead of an affix, which I cheerfully refuse to do because that means I can’t connect this Lady Zhen with other generic non-specific Lady Zhens): Born 183. Well-read and socially adept from a young age. Married Yuan Xi, son of warlord Yuan Shao, though Zhen lived apart from him in the administrative center of Shao’s territory. In 204, after Yuan Shao’s death, Cao Cao’s forces were able to take control of this territory, and Cao Pi met Zhen and married her. She kept the peace among the other wives and encouraged Pi to take more concubines. However, after Cao Cao died in 220 and Cao Pi became emperor, his favor toward other concubines led Zhen to complain; for this or some other unknown offense, Pi responded by forcing her to take her own life in 221. Her son Cao Rui would become the next emperor of Wei.

Wen Hu (文虎, Bun Ko): Son of Wen Qin and brother of Wen Yang. After Sima Shi deposed Wei emperor Cao Fang and replaced him with Cao Mao in 254, Wen Qin started a rebellion, but this was quickly suppressed and he and his family were forced to defect to Wu. When Wei general Zhuge Dan rebelled against Sima Zhao in 257, the Wen family was among those sent to support him. However, the relationship between Wen Qin and Zhuge Dan deteriorated, and when Zhuge Dan had Wen Qin executed, Wen Hu and Wen Yang fled back and surrendered to Sima Zhao.

Wen Yang (文鴦, Bun Ou): Born 238. Son of Wen Qin and brother of Wen Hu. After Zhuge Dan’s rebellion was defeated, Wen Yang went back to serving Wei, and after its formation, Jin. However, in 291, he was falsely accused of being involved in a failed rebellion by Sima Yao, Zhuge Dan’s grandson (not the emperor Sima Yao—different hanzi), and was executed along with his family

Yang Xin (楊欣, You Kin): Served Wei. Assisted Deng Ai in the 263 conquest of Shu. Continued serving Jin. Died in 276 fighting against the nomadic Xianbei people.

Zhuge Dan

#ryu number #sengoku period #romance of the three kingdoms #warriors orochi 4 characters

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jiminrings · 3 years ago

Note

BALLOON ANIMAL ARTIST JK I JUST FEEL LIKE HE WOULD BE REALLY GOOD AT IT AND MAKE YOU A FLOWER THEN ASK YOU ON A DATE

baby i love u and your big sexy brain <3 welcome to waikiki meets hospital playlist dynamic ft. balloon artist!jk

“who’s a good baby? is it you? iS IT YOU????”

you’d be the first one to admit that you had an exhausting horrible night

being a nurse sUCKS the life out of you and as much as it’s fulfilling, you almost always feel the urge to admit yourself to the ER for being extremely fatigued

it’s all worth it!! it should be

after all, paying for a mansion in an exclusive village and sharing it with your friends doeS warrant some elbow grease

seokjin works in wall street and sometimes he comes home crying but it’s okay because you do have an expensive fridge that everyone worked overtime for <3

hoseok’s a veterinary assistant and is your trusty friend who always sends in pictures of the animals that come in to cheer you up while at work

namjoon’s a painter by passion and accountant by profession!! he does only come out with a few pieces at a time but mAN does it rake in the money

jimin’s a flight attendant and does everyone the pleasure of securing either free or discounted tickets, and bringing home unused airline towels to dry off the dishes!!

lastly, taehyung’s someone you can call a former trustfund baby or somewhat :O the last big chunk of money he spent from his fund was the downpayment and security deposit for this mansion!!!

it’s a long story and he’s currently all over the place but he’s finding regular jobs!! his latest gig was working at a high-end ice cream place but he immediately quit once he learned that he needed to put his back into it and not just scoop up ice cream like he did in his dreams :((

most importantly, taehyung has a baby :-)

he’s a dad!! a single one at that

it’s truly a LONG story but the bottomline is that he has nabi, his cutest little dumpling!! and he has all of you, his friends who didn’t hesitate to step up as nabi’s parents in a way too even if he didn’t ask any of you

you all love the chunky monkey so much that you’ve all taken the liberty to call him your baby at times and tae doesn’t even mind!! nabi’s so lucky (he hopes) to have him as a dad and his friends as his cool uncles and aunt

nevertheless, you indeed had a bad night working the night shift and came home to nabi’s birthday party just in time!! :D

he turned two years old at midnight and even if you weren’t physically present at the mansion like the guys were (they requested their leaves two months earlier) because of being understaffed, you were able to see him and tae blow out multiple cakes that each one bought him

seeing him giggle at your arms just by doing the bare minimum makes you full already <3

all your exhaustion is melted away because it’s your favorite toddler’s birthday party!! the party that you all insisted on shelling out for that made tae almost cry bc of how much you all love his son

“jimin i am not sewing your forehead up when you end up falling in the wrong angle,” you roll your eyes at him who’s currently doing backflips in the bouncy house that managed to fit in the mansion

“hoseok can!!” he yells back and backflips twice in a row, much to the actual children’s amusement and your worry

“i will NOT stitch you up! the thread i have is for the pregnant dogs only!!!”

everyone’s entertaining guests left and right, including taehyung who’s the dad of the little man of the hour :D

he keeps pointing at nabi who’s currently in your arms every ten seconds and it’s now your job to make him giggle every single time to wave at the people

“what do you want, monkey? do you want some ice cream? i won’t tell your dad,” you eagerly ask the wide-eyed baby in your arms, pointing at the ice cream cart that namjoon probably ordered

“no thank you!” nabi cutely aND politely declines, his head shaking no and his speech and pronunciation getting clearer day by day

most of the time though he says it like tHANK YEWWWW and you would immediately grin every time because it’s the cutest thing ever

“hmm, look at that!! face painting!! do you want some butterflies?”

you point at yet another station that you guess seokjin arranged, knowing that at some point into this party, he’d all drag you in here to get matching marks or something lol

nabi once again declines, his eyes searching around that makes you do the same on what you could do to entertain him

he has the same habit down like taehyung and loudly gASPS, pointing his finger and almost shrieking in excitement

“bawoo — balloon!!! balloon!!!”

it is now your life purpose to walk as fast as you could to this balloon station with nabi bouncing up and down your arm in excitement

jungkook’s having the time of his life here :D

normally he’s mostly called in the holiday season and occasionally at big birthday parties (the one where like two sides of the family share every baby’s first birthday party lmao) throughout the year!!

but he’s never had a client who requested him for a singular birthday party!! let alone at a hOUSE

ok maybe that was an understatement

he means a mansion

if he’s being quite honest, the mr. park jimin he spoke to on the phone sounded too kind that he just mistakened him for a party planner or something

he immediately said yes because he had no on-site bookings for that day, or even the week perhaps, and expected to stroll into a carnival in the middle of an executive village

aha :D jungkook is wrong :D

jimin met him by the front door wherein a lot of people are already crossing paths such as catering and not to mention the bouncy house you cAN’T miss, and just briefly touched in on the situation

“oh no, i’m not the dad, man — but thanks!! i’m his uncle. nabi’s dad is my friend, taehyung. and me and my friends, including taehyung, all live here. we’re all like family, basically.”

jungkook saw the other stations invited and he expected that his would have less children y’know?? bouncy house, ice cream station, facepainting, hotdog cart aND magic show???? yeah <3

but god is he wrong

the children are in a single-file line for hIM and his balloon artistry!!! the requests range from pretzels to pirate hats to chandeliers with the bulbs as smiley faces!!!

he’s managed to do all of them so far and he’s now made a decent dent on the line of children waiting for him

jungkook is a happy and content balloon artist :D

“EXCUSE ME! BIRTHDAY BOY COMING THROUGH!!”

oh my god what was that

you’re walking at full-speed and holler out, making sure to emphasize birthday boy because nuh-uh you and nabi will nOT line up for his own party <3 thank you very much

the children coo and the older kids coax the other ones to make way for the both of you to the front of the line, immediately plopping to a mini chair in front of the guy

“hiiii!!”

nabi drawls politely and waves his hand, making you do the same

“what a cute little thing,” the guy in front of you coos and it’s his voice that perhaps makes you melt a little, just seeing the top of his hair for now because he’s crouching down to be eye-level with nabi, “what can i do for you, little buddy?”

he toothily grins and straightens his posture, raising his eyes to look at who’s holding nabi in place and-

???????????????????

jungkook literally stops breathing for a second

“h-hi!! what can i do for you today?” jungkook squeaks, his eyes even more wide and curious to look at the prettiest girl he’s ever seen in his life

you’re sure that you were gonna stammer once you open your mouth so you don’t at all, instead focusing on nabi who’s on your lap

“what do you want, monkey?”

“nabi please! i want nABI!!! nabi nabi nabiiiiiiiiii-“

“yes. he wants nabi, please.”

jungkook nods fervently, his hands about to pluck ballons from his kit before he realizes to ask

“does he want his face? or like, his name? what colors do you want, bud?”

he’s not the least bit bothered at the choices in his head because you’re widening your eyes on what could this guy dO with just balloons, knowing to yourself that even pumping one is difficult work already

“oh! he wants nabi,” you clarify and jungkook tilts his head, mouth slightly agape at to what you’re trying to get at, “butterfly, i mean. nabi knows that his name means butterfly and he likes them a lot! don’t you, monkey?”

nabi nods so hard that it almost gives him a headache and jungkook wants to facepalm himself to the grave

“r-right! why didn’t i think of that?? because nabi means.... nabi....... right!! sorry, oh my god. o-oh! i meant oh my gosh. i uhm-...”

he’s a mess and he knows it, letting his hands take over and grab the same theme colors of blue and lavender from his bag to start on his work

kook tries not to lift his head up ever so often because you’d find him out instantly that he’s looking at you

so what he does instead is peer and coo at nabi every few seconds and tHEN look up at you because you also giggle whenever he giggles

he’s probably feeling pressure with the way your eyes are set on him too and what he’s doing that he pOPS a balloon right with his hands

“sorry, sorry! did i spook you?”

jungkook’s worried because he heard a collective gasp from the kids around him but his main priority is the birthday boy AND you

nabi’s shoulders rose and that’s about it

he shakes his head to himself, looking at you who’s carrying a curious gaze on your face that looks amused

“sorry. i-it’s just you’re so pretty and-“

he’s embarrassed himself in front of a pretty girl and her son and-

wait a second

the color just dRAINS from his face and he’s about to quit at the second

“oh my god i am so sorry. y-you must be nabi’s mother. you’re mr. taehyung’s-“

“friend!! i’m y/n, i’m just taehyung’s friend,” you interject quickly because you cannot believe that pretty boy called you pretty, and at the next breath thought you were taehyung’s wife, “and nabi’s my nephew. we’re all just friends who live together!! i have no boyfriend, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

...

....

yeah maybe you embarrassed yourself this time

you may have said too much information to the balloon artist but jungkook’s just staring at you fondly

and nabi’s switching his gaze between the two of you and claps his hands to snap the two of you out of it lmao

kook chuckles to himself and he cannot stop smiling, even when he’s tying the last balloon to nabi’s butterfly

“there you go, cutie. happy birthday!!” he hands nabi the hUGE butterfly he just made but the sheer difference of how big it is makes the toddler even more happy, hugging it to his chest

jungkook watches you pepper kisses on nabi’s cheeks and that launches him into quickly pulling out balloons while your eyes are deviated from him, hands twisting and turning like his wHOLE LIFE depended on it

“my name’s jungkook, by the way,” he calls you when you’re just about to stand up, smiling giddily at you, “thought you should know.”

cute :-)

before you could thank him, he extends his arm and your mind recognizes the familiar shape which makes you smile instantly

jungkook made you a flower balloon <3

“i think i’ll remember you, jungkook.”

you laugh as the only thing you can smell from it is latex, the huge flower staring at you right in the face

jungkook sheepishly blushes, pursing his lips in happiness

“i’m free whenever you’re free — f-for a date, y’know? just so you could remember me more.”

bonus: dilf taehyung has his own drabble!!

bonus bonus: bestie anon brought my attention to these tiktoks below and gAWD i’m so happy <3

first, second

#drabble nights #jungkook imagine #jungkook oneshot #jungkook oneshots #jungkook drabbles #jungkook x reader #jungkook x y/n #jungkook au #jungkook scenario

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reluctant-mandalore · 4 years ago

Text

The Boba Fett Babysitting Archives: An Unexpected Start

Boba Fett has been tasked with babysitting the child for the first time—and of course he somehow manages to lose him in a matter of minutes.

Warnings: I don’t know what to really tag tbh. It’s mostly just Fluff with an uncle boba babysitting. Domestic fluff (?). Not a reader insert. a lil bit of canon divergence (Boba fett babysitting au anyone?)

Word Count: 2,021

Pairing: No romantic pairing.

a/n: Hey everyone! Here’s the first of many fics to be put in The Boba Fett Babysitting Archives (a boba fett babysitting series basically). The series isn’t completely going to be in chronically order, but I thought it fitting to start with the first time he babysat. So enjoy a concerned uncle searching for the kid he managed to lose in a matter of seconds - because of course this happened the first time Boba Fett was babysitting. (also a brief scene with a worried din).

Translations: Buir - Parent/Father/Mother || Ret'! - Bye/See you

When one heard the name Boba Fett, they usually thought of the legendary bounty hunter with a fierce reputation. A fearsome foe who many wouldn’t even dare to cross paths with. A man who was known for his vicious and nearly flawless execution of bounty hunting. The idea of such a person babysitting never even crossed their minds. He was Boba Fett—a deadly man with even deadlier skills—he was not a babysitter.

No, Boba Fett was not a babysitter by any means. Although, that knowledge didn’t seem to stop the other Mandalorian from requesting his services as one. In his defense, Boba did agree to the arrangement, regardless of everyone's surprise and shock. The man himself didn’t see any issues with accepting such a task. A job was a job after all. Whether it was hunting down quarries, or looking after a small green child for a friend. He really didn’t care what the job entailed as long as he was getting paid accordingly. Actually... Was he getting paid?

The sound of movement had pulled Boba from his thoughts, and he found himself locking his gaze with that of the child currently in his care. The child in question of course being Grogu, the son of his friend and newly appointed ruler of Mandalore, Din Djarin. They were travelling aboard the Salve I for the moment, and were on course for his own recently acquired palace on Tatooine. He had just picked up the little one from his father, and was trying to figure out what exactly he should be doing while babysitting the child.

“So… what do kids your age like to do?”

Silence was the only reply he had received. The child’s head tilting slightly as he peered up at the man with his wide pools of wonder. The small creature hadn’t said a word in response to his question, and honestly he wasn’t even sure if the child was capable of proper speech by this point.

In his time around the child with Din, other than the odd babble or baby gibberish, he hadn’t heard the little one say a single word. He had however, seen the child use his force abilities. He even knew that the child was undergoing some training as a Jedi when he wasn’t staying with his father. Something which had made him second guess wanting to spend any alone time with the little creature.

Boba knew that by accepting the job from the other Mandalorian, he was technically looking after a jedi—or at least a future one. It was a thought which had made his stomach churn with displeasure, so he tried not to think too much about it. He adored his little nephew after all—jedi or not—but that didn’t change how he felt about the jedi as a whole.

The bounty hunter had ended up looking away from the child again thanks to his wandering thoughts. Still finding himself feeling tense and unsure of what exactly he was supposed to be doing. In all honesty, he had no idea how to look after a child, and out of everyone he was probably the least qualified to do so. It wasn’t as if anyone had taught him how to care for one, and his own childhood was definitely not the greatest reference to go by. Then, with adding in his own distaste for jedi on top of all that—it had been made clear he was probably the least suitable choice. Even so, Din had chosen him anyway.

“You know I was only a little older than you when I started to learn how to hold a blaster,” He had commented absentmindedly, the fond memories he had of his own father filtering back to him. A smile now crossing his features at the thought, his gaze briefly locking with that of the weapons cabinet he possessed onboard, “I feel like your buir would kill me though if I let that happen.”

The Mandalorian had let out a chuckle to himself, shaking his head as he turned to face the child once more. Though, he had soon felt his heart drop at the sight before him. His smile morphing into a frown and worry beginning to consume him, as he quickly began to catch up to speed with what he saw—or rather—didn’t see.

The child was gone.

Instant panic had flowed through Boba at the realization and he stood quickly from his spot in the chair. His head whipping around in a desperate attempt to locate where the little one had gone, looking around the room in a hurry, “kid?”

Once again there was no reply, only the sound of the ship’s engine could be heard echoing off the walls. Another wave of worry had washed over him then, soon pushing for him to begin searching anywhere and everywhere he could think to look. In the crates, under the control panel, in the hatches—it didn’t matter where or what it was—Boba checked each and every place he could. Though no matter how hard he looked, he couldn’t seem to find any trace of the child. It was almost as if he had completely vanished.

“Kid this ain’t funny!” He had shouted, his voice laced with frustration and undeniable distress.

Not many things could scare Boba Fett, but losing the child was devastating for him in the moment. Yeah he didn’t like the jedi, and yes he was definitely not a babysitter, but he still cared for the little womp-rat.

Boba continued to take a look around the ship—still making sure to check every nook and cranny as he did. The more he had looked though, the more concerned he had become. His search only becoming more desperate the longer it went on. He had never felt so hopeless in his life, not even when he was on brink of death.

“Grogu!” He had called out again, wondering briefly if maybe the child would answer to his name, “Grogu where are you?”

Only silence was his reply again and by now some hours had passed with no sign of the child. This wasn’t good at all. Even worse, he knew he’d have to contact Din.

Boba had paced back and forth, checking a few new spots for the child as he did, while waiting for the other Mandalorian to answer his call. Din was going to kill him and honestly he might just let him. Today could be the day that Boba Fett officially died.

“Hey Boba!” Din had said rather cheerfully, clearly not having been to one of his important mandalore meetings yet, “If you’re looking for the metal ball it's in the front pocket of the baby bag.”

Boba’s gaze had shifted over to the overstuffed bag at his friend’s words. He wished he was calling for such a simple thing. He honestly didn’t know how he was going to break this down for the single father. How do you tell someone you lost the most important thing to them in the universe?

“It’s not that Din.” He had said, trying to keep his voice steady as he spoke, not wanting to raise too much concern in the other man. “It’s… Well honestly you might want to sit down for this.”

A long drawn out pause had followed after Boba’s suggestion, “Boba is something wrong?”

“Yeah you could say that.” Boba had muttered, more to himself than to Din, looking away at the sudden feeling of not being able to look the other man in the face. An odd sense of guilt blossoming inside his gut—something he wasn’t used to in the slightest.

“Did something happen?” Din had asked, concern evident in his voice as he spoke, “Is grogu ok?”

“Din…” Boba had trailed off, still unsure of how he was supposed to tell the man before him that he had lost his only child. “You see... it’s just a bit complicated and Grogu he-”

A sudden shrill of giggles had cut off Boba's words, the sound making his head snap to the direction it had come from. His eyes widening underneath the helmet at the sight of a small shadow with large pointed ears dashing by the opened hatch which lead back into the hull.

The child.

“Boba! What’s going on?”

Hearing Din’s voice had brought him back to reality and he quickly replied to the worried father, “Nothing! Everything’s under control. Ret'!”

Before the other Mandalorian could reply, he had shut off the communicator and made his way back to the hull. Nearly tripping over himself in his hurry, as he made his descendant into the other room, and followed the distant sounds of the child’s laughter. Ignoring the beeping of his comlink as he made his way closer and closer to where he’d hopefully find the child.

Luckily, to his undeniable relief, he did in fact come face to face with the child once more. Only this time the little one sat by an open crate—one where he usually stored some necessary rations onboard—snacking on some cookies he had taken.

Boba blinked in surprise at the sight before him, not expecting to stumble upon it and unsure of how exactly to react. Had the little one been here the whole time? Unlikely. Seeing as the man had looked here earlier in the day and he had literally just followed him here. The child had most likely come looking for something to eat—considering most of his time before was spent avoiding and hiding from his bounty hunter uncle.

Another sound from his comlink had made him check it once more, an irritated sigh leaving him from the list of missed calls he had recently received from the child’s father. Din must be in a worried state now from how the call ended. He'd have to call him back at some point, though right now all the older man wanted to do was sit down and relax. Besides—the other Mandalorian would be in an important meeting soon anyways—the callback could wait.

Boba had ended up looking down to the child again. Who had giggled up at him happily at seeing the man’s attention brought back to him once more. A small huff of a laugh had left Boba at seeing the little one’s excitement and he shook his head in disbelief at the scene before him. Soon muting the comlink and settling himself next to the child on the floor, as another tired sigh had left him.

“This definitely did not start off as planned.” He had hummed tiredly, a reminder of his age beginning to catch up on him, as he began watching over the little one snack on his acquired cookies. Not having the heart, nor the energy, at the moment to take them away and scold him for taking them.

The sight of the child had soon brought another smile to his face anyway. Leading him to fondly rub the child’s ear the same way he had seen Din do so many times before, “You’re quite the little trouble maker alright, aren’t ya?”

A soft coo had left the child from the man’s gesture, and he moved to hold up one of the cookies towards him. He had stared at the cookie and the child for a long moment, surprised by the little one's gesture. Soon though, he had felt another laugh rumbling in his chest, letting it escape him loudly and brightly. This laugh of his being deeper and more joyful sounding than his usual chuckle. Making the child practical bounce with glee at hearing it for the first time.

Boba had removed his helmet then with an audible click, setting it to the side, before looking back to the kid. A wide grin spread across his features as he leaned forward and accepted the cookie from the child. Taking a bite and watching as the little one babbled in delight at being able to share cookies with his uncle. The sound of his cheerful giggling making all the man’s earlier worries melt away.

“You know what kid? I think we’re going to have a swell old time together.”

----

#the mandalorian #boba fett #din djarin #The Boba Fett Babysitting Archives #grogu #baby yoda #the mandalorian fanfic #star wars #star wars fanfic #mandalorian #mandalorian fanfic #Fic: An Unexpected Start #my fics #fanfic

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veliseraptor · 4 years ago

Note

Hi! Can you give a brief spoilery summary of the Untamed? I just read [the pretties from your posts] died? Oh no. I tried getting information through google but it’s confusing for someone who doesn’t know the characters.

oh lord. there are all kinds of ‘brief summaries of the Untamed’ out there but I’ve always found them vaguely irritating so...I guess that means it’s time for my comeuppance in the form of having to do it myself? I’ll do my best.

I didn’t know how detailed you wanted me to get so I decided to get pretty detailed, since you did ask for spoilery. so this is like. entirely spoilers. spoilers for everything.

also, you can use, if it’s helpful, my brief character overview (‘brief’) which includes some plot information, and could be useful as cross reference also. I’m playing pretty fast and loose with a lot of terminology for the sake of intelligibility, because otherwise this would get even longer and have a lot more links.

also, because you asked me specifically for this, it’s going to have some bias. I tried to keep my interpretive commentary to a relative minimum? but. uh. yeah.

the briefest basic plot overview is (going off The Untamed canon, which you will also see abbreviated as CQL from the pinyin transliteration of the Chinese title (Chen Qing Ling)):

Wei Wuxian, a cultivation (think, loosely, magic) prodigy and creator of his own particular style of cultivation, dies reviled by most of the known world. Sixteen years later he’s raised from the dead by Mo Xuanyu, an outcast and the bastard son of one of the leaders of the main sects of the cultivation world, in order to take revenge on Mo Xuanyu’s enemies (specifically his abusive family and ~an unknown person~).

And here is where we get into the details.

Pretty much immediately upon Wei Wuxian’s resurrection, people start dying at Mo Manor, before Wei Wuxian has even done anything, because of (it turns out) a very angry spirit of a semi-sentient weapon. Wei Wuxian books it out of town after his old best friend/crush Lan Wangji shows up to help the Lan ducklings he’s shepherding (including most notably Lan Sizhui and Lan Jingyi, the only named characters of that bunch), only to wind up running into him again on the road - and not only him, but his orphaned nephew (shorthand, go with it) Jin Ling (Wei Wuxian was responsible for his parents’ deaths) and Jiang Cheng, his martial brother who (at least according to rumor) killed him sixteen years ago and still bears a hell of a grudge. In order to save Jin Ling, Wei Wuxian summons the “Ghost General” Wen Ning, who was supposed to be destroyed and whose presence confirms his identity to a very pissed off Jiang Cheng. Lan Wangji recognizes Wei Wuxian as well. Wei Wuxian passes out.

followed any of that? no? that’s fine, because now we’re heading into a thirty episode flashback that’ll clarify some things. (but not before you forget a whole bunch of things from the first two episodes.)

I’m going to split this into arcs. I’m also going to put this under a read more, because...yeah, this came out to just a little over 10,500 words. I’m...sorry.

have fun?

Cloud Recesses Summer School Arc

The time card says “sixteen years earlier” but it isn’t sixteen years earlier because that would make no sense, but it’s better to give up on timeline now or you’ll just drive yourself nuts.

This is the part of the show where you meet the main characters, some of whom you saw earlier (notably Jiang Cheng, Wei Wuxian’s younger sort-of brother), and some of whom you only know from reference (Jiang Yanli, Wei Wuxian’s older sort-of sister) and some of whom are significantly important (Lan Wangji). You also meet Jin Zixuan, the snotty heir to the Jin Sect, who will be important later. Jiang Yanli is clearly into him and he seems to very much not return the feelings.

At this point, there are five main sects that the characters belong to. They are (with the characters you’ve met from them so far: the Jiang Sect (Jiang Cheng, Wei Wuxian, and Jiang Yanli), the Nie Sect (Nie Huaisang, a flighty and sort of feckless fellow), the Jin Sect (Jin Zixuan, his social skills translator Mianmian), the Lan Sect (Lan Wangji, his brother Lan Xichen) as well as the Wen Sect (more on them in a moment). Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian meet and immediately...something. Wei Wuxian wants to make friends, and Lan Wangji seems to emphatically Not.

You also meet Meng Yao, who is Nie Huaisang’s brother Nie Mingjue’s right hand man, and also the bastard son of Jin Guangshan (the leader of Jin Sect). He is also the son of (using the words of literally everyone) a prostitute, which people remind him of at every possible moment, in case he was in danger of forgetting, or something. He and Lan Xichen have kind of a moment.

Later on, members of the Wen Sect, led by Wen Chao storm in, posturing disrespectfully, and drop off Wen Qing to “learn” (but secretly she has a mission looking for the Yin Iron/Metal). The Wen are ascendant in power and seem to be flexing their muscle looking for trouble.

Wen Qing comes as a set with her brother Wen Ning - the pair of them are from sort of...a secondary branch of the main Wen family, and she’s being coerced into supporting Wen Ruohan despite being not thrilled about it. Wei Wuxian bonds with Wen Qing’s younger brother Wen Ning, who has a weird situation that makes him vulnerable to possession (this is important later).

At one point Wei Wuxian proposes - in response to a question! He’s just being innovative! - to put it simply, necromancy, which is, to say the least, not a hit. Remember that for later!

Eventually, Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian end up falling by accident into some ice caves, where they learn from one of Lan Wangji’s ancestors (Lan Yi, she’s cool) about the Yin Iron, of which she has a piece. It is an spiritually corrupted metal that can’t be destroyed so it was broken into pieces and hidden in different places. Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji resolve jointly to find the other pieces.

Wei Wuxian, Jiang Yanli, and Jiang Cheng (henceforth “the Yunmeng siblings”) are picked up early by Jiang Yanli and Jiang Cheng’s dad (Jiang Fengmian) because Wei Wuxian causes problems both on purpose and not. Wei Wuxian, however, puts together that Lan Wangji is going off on his own chasing the Yin Iron, and ditches the rest of his family to go help.

Yin Iron Hunt Arc

Wei Wuxian meets up with Lan Wangji, who is not thrilled to see him (at least, apparently). They run into Nie Huaisang, who joins them. They come to a town where everyone seems to have vanished and there is nothing fishy going on in the cave with the statue that looks like a dancing lady at all. Meanwhile, Jiang Cheng leaves home to go track down Wei Wuxian and bring him back.

The statue comes to life, Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji fight together to defeat it, and then a bunch of...undead villagers (sort of, they get better) attack them, only to be lured away by Wen Qing playing a flute (this ability will never be brought up again). Jiang Cheng reveals himself as having been hanging out watching this go down. Ultimately, by killing the Stygian Pigeon that belongs to Wen Chao, the villagers are freed and they move on.

After a brief stopover in a village, they hear some rumors about a haunted house and take off to go check it out. When they get there, everyone is dead and Xue Yang is on the roof just kind of vibing. Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan manage to get him pinned down and taken captive. This is important and not just because I said so.

Nie Huaisang, who Wei Wuxian, Jiang Cheng, and Lan Wangji ditched in town, arrives here with Meng Yao, who proposes bringing Xue Yang to Nie Mingjue for justice purposes (which when I write it like that sounds...um. moving right along), which is where everyone heads next, less Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan who have their own things to do. Wei Wuxian realizes that Xiao Xingchen had the same master as his mother, and gets really excited about it; it’s adorable.

They go to Nie Mingjue, who is talked out of executing Xue Yang because they’re trying to find out where he put the Yin Iron (which they figure he has, because reasons. there are reasons, I just don’t feel like going into it.) Lan Wangji leaves in the night without saying goodbye, and then Wen Chao arrives. He is accompanied by Wen Zhuliu, who is called the Core-Melting Hand for reasons that will be important later. There’s a fight, Xue Yang gets loose, and Nie Mingjue finds Meng Yao in a very compromising position (killing a captain of the guard and among a bunch of other dead bodies). He kicks Meng Yao out of the Nie Sect.

Meanwhile, the Wens attack Cloud Recesses. Lan Xichen’s uncle makes him leave to preserve himself and the most important texts. Everyone retreats to a cave that’s hidden and walled off; Su She (who was introduced briefly earlier) caves to threats to his life and tells the Wens how to get into the Lan’s cave sanctuary. Lan Wangji returns with Lan Yi’s Yin Iron and gives it and himself up to Wen Chao’s older brother Wen Xu to spare everyone else.

Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian leave for home (Lotus Pier). We witness family dynamics, which are terrible. The Wens want everyone to send their kids, specifically their heirs, to be reeducated in Wen territory, but they’re not hostages, we swear. No, really.

Reeducation Camp Arc

To reeducation camp with the Wens we go! Where Lan Wangji is not looking so hot, and Wei Wuxian rapidly causes problems on purpose to try to get to talk to him, but mostly just ends up getting himself tossed in a dungeon where he gets attacked by a very bad puppet of a dog. Wen Qing has told Wen Ning not to associate with Wei Wuxian because they’re on thin ice with their boss (Wen Ruohan), but Wen Ning sneaks him some medicine against Wen Qing’s orders anyway.

They go on a hunt, with the non-Wens featuring as bait. Here is where you meet Wen Chao’s main squeeze Wang Lingjiao, who was formerly a servant. Everyone ends up in a cave that contains a creature whose name is unfortunately translated as “Tortoise of Slaughter.” we’ll go with “Xuanwu of Slaughter” instead, it feels better. Wen Chao and his accompanying entourage make a run for it and ditch everyone else in the cave; they manage to sneak out but Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji end up trapped with no way out. They team up and kill the Xuanwu, partially because Wei Wuxian acquires a very cursed sword. Afterward, he is feverish and asks Lan Wangji to sing - enter Wuji! their theme. You see Lan Wangji mouth that it is called “Wangxian” before Wei Wuxian passes out. (Yes, he did name his composition after their ship name. Aww.)

I’ve skated through that very fast but it is important because it’s like...the point where they seriously bond in a major way and it’s all very...like, there was only one bed only they’re trapped in a cave and injured and forced to rely on each other. So not actually really like that.

Wei Wuxian comes around outside of the cave with Jiang Cheng and Jin Zixuan, who brought help to rescue him and Lan Wangji; Lan Wangji, however, is gone.

Oh Shit Things Went Downhill Fast Arc

Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian go back to Lotus Pier, where Wei Wuxian is in big trouble with Jiang Cheng’s mother (Yu Ziyuan, seen later emotionally terrorizing all her children), who already doesn’t like him and accuses him of bringing trouble down on them by defying the Wens. Jiang Cheng’s dad is terrible, Wei Wuxian reaffirms that he and Jiang Cheng will be Together Forever, you, the viewer, know that is absolutely not how that’s going to go.

Word comes that the Wen have attacked one of the smaller sects, and Jiang Cheng’s dad (Jiang Fengmian) goes with Jiang Yanli to talk to Jin Guangshan about how to deal with the Wens.

Then Wang Lingjiao arrives with word that they’re gonna be in big trouble if they don’t punish Wei Wuxian right now. Yu Ziyuan uses her lightning whip to beat the shit out of Wei Wuxian, but Wang Lingjiao wants her to cut off his hand. Then she makes the mistake of saying that they’ll be making Lotus Pier a supervisory office of the Wens, thank you.

Yu Ziyuan reacts...poorly, Wang Lingjiao calls on her backup Wen Zhuliu (and everyone else); seeing the writing on the wall Yu Ziyuan grabs Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng, puts them on a boat, and sends them away, bequeathing her sick-ass lightning whip (Zidian) to Jiang Cheng. They run into Jiang Fengmian and Jiang Yanli; Jiang Fengmian adds Jiang Yanli to the boat full of crying children and goes to sail back to Lotus Pier.

Lotus Pier falls, everybody dies, Jiang Cheng goes semi-catatonic and then disappears, having been captured by the Wens after going back for his parents’ bodies. (Which is more important than it probably sounds, from a Western perspective.) Wei Wuxian follows him and finds Wen Ning, who smuggles Jiang Cheng out and takes him, Wei Wuxian, and Jiang Yanli to Wen Qing for safekeeping.

Jiang Cheng wakes up; his golden core (the...thing that lets him do superpowered things, let’s go with that) was destroyed by Wen Zhuliu. Melted, if you will. And it’s not the kind of thing you can just, you know, fix. He descends into absolute despair as Wei Wuxian looks frantically for a way to fix it - and finds one! Though Wen Qing is not happy about it, she still agrees.

at this point we see the return of an old friend! Song Lan, who has a bloody bandage over his eyes, but has eyes that work, despite the fact that he was blinded by Xue Yang who also killed his entire temple. He explains that Xiao Xingchen said that he was taking Song Lan to his master Baoshan Sanren, the immortal who can cure anything, and doesn’t remember anything else.

Wei Wuxian takes Jiang Cheng to Baoshan Sanren to get his core back. Psych! It’s a lie that he totally made up to explain the fact that he’s actually getting his own core transplanted into Jiang Cheng in a highly experimental procedure. Importantly, Wei Wuxian does not tell Jiang Cheng this.

Post-surgery, rather battered Wei Wuxian gets caught by Wen Chao and Wang Lingjiao, who torture him and then throw him into a place called the Burial Mounds, which is more or less what it sounds like, is Very Cursed, and from which no one has emerged alive. Then this happens:

(I want you to appreciate how hard I’ve tried to not put any screencaps in here. but I had to do this one. I just had to.)

and you go oh shit and also well that’s sexy.

Jiang Cheng, delighted to have his core back, descends the mountain only to find that Wei Wuxian is...not there.

Cool! That seems fine.

Sunshot Campaign Arc

Timeskip to three months later! The rest of the sects have allied together to take down the Wen Sect (this is what ‘Sunshot Campaign’ refers to, because the symbol of the Wens is a sun). Things aren’t looking good for the Wens, including Wen Chao and Wang Lingjiao. Wang Lingjiao hallucinates to the sound of a flute and ends up killing herself. Meanwhile, Lan Wangji and Jiang Cheng have teamed up to look for Wei Wuxian. On their way, they start finding piles of Wen bodies killed in a mysterious and grotesque manner involving an unfamiliar method of cultivation.

(Side note: around now is where Jiang Cheng frees Wen Qing from where she was imprisoned by the Wens for being a dirty traitor during the war and gives her the comb of pining he bought way back in the Cloud Recesses arc, telling her that he will help her if she asks. This isn’t...exactly important, except I wanted to note it.)

Eventually, they find a house where Wen Chao has holed up with Wen Zhuliu, and watch as it’s revealed that he has gone through some nasty shit, is terrified and traumatized and badly injured. Ominous signs: begin to happen! Flames going out: happen! Shots of someone climbing slowly and menacingly up stairs: happen!

Yeah, it’s Wei Wuxian. New and improved, darker and meaner and very sexy about it, and with a new sick-ass flute. He starts attacking Wen Chao, and when Wen Zhuliu moves to attack Wei Wuxian Jiang Cheng jumps down and hangs Wen Zhuliu with Zidian. Lan Wangji confronts Wei Wuxian about this darker and meaner version and Wei Wuxian breaks up with him; Lan Wangji leaves Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian to kill Wen Chao because the family that murders together stays together!

(They won’t, but.)

The war goes on, but the tides have turned, and the Wens are losing. Both of Wen Ruohan’s sons are dead. Soup drama happens here, which I don’t need to explain fully but it is clear that Wei Wuxian is extremely emotionally unstable, and also will no longer carry his sword despite everyone telling him he needs to carry his sword. All is not well with the Wei Wuxian! But nobody knows why. Lan Wangji’s repeated “LET ME FIX YOU” overtures are not well received. Lan Wangji also has a nice conversation about how the Lan rules did not prepare him for moral complexity.

Eventually Nie Mingjue proposes going to attack Wen Ruohan on his own while the others move on the Wen stronghold at Nightless City (at this point, they have received a map of Wen defenses from a ~mysterious spy~). Nie Mingjue is captured, and it is revealed that Meng Yao decided that after getting kicked out of Qinghe he could find a better boss somewhere else. Outside, an undead army shows up to kick everyone else’s ass. Things don’t look good for our heroes!

Wei Wuxian brings out his secret weapon the Yin Tiger Seal and...takes over the undead army. This is very troubling to everyone involved, but it does bring Wen Ruohan out to see what the deal is. Wei Wuxian delivers one of the sickest lines in the entire show:

(i’m restraining myself! trust me! i am!)

so yeah, that’s a normal and reassuring thing to say.

And then Meng Yao stabs Wen Ruohan in the back. And that’s it for Wen Ruohan! Our major antagonist is dead! Surely everything will be fine now.

Well We Won the War, Now What Arc

[cracks knuckles] and here’s where the politics starts.

Ready and totally psyched to step into the power vacuum left by the fall of the Wens is Jin Guangshan! Leader of the Jin Sect, least impacted by the war by vitue of joining up late. He recognizes Meng Yao as his son now that he’s, like, someone that is valuable to him politically, and Meng Yao gets a commensurate name change > Jin Guangyao. Pretty much immediately Jin Guangshan starts manuevering to consolidate power - pushing to marry Jiang Yanli and Jin Zixuan, pushing to get access to Wei Wuxian’s Yin Tiger Seal, subtly undermining everyone else...the works.

Jin Guangshan is the worst, is what I’m saying here.

Meanwhile, Nie Mingjue is very unhappy about the whole “Meng Yao helping the Wens and fucking with him when he’s captured” thing, but then Lan Xichen (remember, Lan Wangji’s older brother) steps in and reveals that Jin Guangyao was a spy delivering information, actually, and also saved his life when he was on the run from the Wens, so don’t hurt him please. Nie Mingjue is still very suspicious, but he backs off. Subsequently, after agreeing to place the Wen (civilian) captives in a holding camp, Jin Guangyao has them killed (impliedly at the order of his father).

We are given cues that Jin Guangyao is bad news. Like, heavy cues. If you are me this makes you love him.

This is also where Lan Xichen, Nie Mingjue, and Jin Guangyao become sworn brothers, which is a big deal.

Meanwhile, back in Lotus Pier, Wei Wuxian is...not doing so hot! He’s drinking heavily, shirking his responsibilities in a way that is making Jiang Cheng particularly very upset with him, generally being weird and traumatized but nobody knows how to deal with that, or him. Then Jin Zixuan arrives to invite everyone to a special hunt being hosted by his father including Jiang Yanli because he, he means his mom, really wants her to be there.

The hunt goes great! By that I mean Jin Zixuan is a spectacular failure at expressing his feelings to Jiang Yanli, Wei Wuxian almost starts a fight with Jin Zixuan, Jin Zixuan’s enormous asshole cousin gets nasty until Jiang Yanli makes him apologize, in a seriously badass moment. The whole thing comes off with Wei Wuxian really not looking good, including his decision to ditch the celebratory banquet. But also Jiang Yanli getting a liiiiittle closer to something she wants (i.e. Jin Zixuan). Jiang Cheng is like “dude what the fuck” at Wei Wuxian and gets zero percent explanation. Meanwhile everyone in the vicinity pokes at his massive insecurities, because the cultivation world’s favorite activity is actually gossip.

Things only get worse at the very bad after party. This is where we meet Su She again, who has gone and founded his own sect! Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji are sort of bitchy about it. But the real issue comes when Zixun peer pressures Lan Xichen into drinking despite the fact that it’s pretty solidly against the rules of the Lan Sect. Lan Xichen does it with a very “fuck you” smile, despite Jin Guangyao’s attempts to forestall the situation.

(I feel like I have not expressed the relationship between Jin Guangyao and Lan Xichen? It’s a whole thing. Let’s just say that it’s a fairly popular ship for a reason.)

Lan Wangji, however, is not as diplomatic as his brother.

And then Wei Wuxian arrives! To ruin another party. Because he found Wen Qing wandering around in the streets and turns out that Wen Ning was taken prisoner by Jin Zixun and friends and removed to whereabouts unknown. Wei Wuxian proceeds to give the sexiest countdown ever to annihilating Jin Zixun if he doesn’t tell him where Wen Ning is.

Wen Ning, unfortunately, is in a pile of bodies. Because the Jin have been...well, experimenting on Wen prisoners, basically. Wen Ning is...not dead in this universe because censorship, but everything makes more sense if you just say “he’s basically dead and Wei Wuxian resurrects him to fuck up everyone in the vicinity who was responsible for his death, which is...everyone other than the other Wens. Eventually Wei Wuxian stops him by yelling his second (courtesy) name that no one else has used for him in speech up to this point (Wen Qionglin), because love is stored in the name. Wei Wuxian gathers up the survivors and takes off only to run into Lan Wangji standing in his way.

They have a point of no return moment. Wei Wuxian basically says “let me go or you have to kill me” only it’s better than that because what he actually says is like “if I’m going to be killed I should be killed by you, then I would know it was right” and it’s a whole fucking thing and anyway Lan Wangji steps aside and lets them all go and it is quite literally “I’m not crying, it’s just raining on my face” except he is also crying.

So...fuck.

Burial Mounds Arc

Wei Wuxian takes the Wens to the one place nobody’s probably going to follow them: namely, the Burial Mounds. Home sweet home!

Outside in the main world, rumors are flying about the army Wei Wuxian is building and the sect he’s planning to found and how ambitious he is and how he’s disrespecting Jiang Cheng and actually Jiang Cheng he probably never loved you anyway and is better and stronger and what are you good for, but I’m saying this out of concern and to be helpful (paraphrased from Jin Guangshan).

Accordingly, Jiang Cheng agrees to go and check things out and see what’s going on in Chez Burial Mounds. What is going on is basically a bunch of civilians eking out a very depressing living. There is also a child, a-Yuan, who is adorable. This will also be important later.

(are you keeping track of all this?)

Jiang Cheng also goes to see Wen Ning, who is...recovering from being dead/undead and Wei Wuxian is working on fixing him. Jiang Cheng says he has to die, and Wei Wuxian has to come home, and things are really bad, man, so stop worrying about these losers and avoid the entire cultivation world being really pissed with you, maybe?

Wei Wuxian isn’t going for it, and tells Jiang Cheng to cut him out of Jiang Sect in order to protect Jiang Sect’s reputation. It’s upsetting. They stage a very dramatic duel and Jiang Cheng announces that friendship ended with Wei Wuxian, he has no new friend actually.

This is also where Wen Qing significantly returns the comb of pining that Jiang Cheng gave her way back (remember that?) and is like. so you wouldn’t’ve helped me and Wen Ning actually, would you. And that is the end of Chengqing as a sidebar ship that never really sailed. Well done, you two.

Meanwhile, Jin Zixuan gets his shit together and proposes to Jiang Yanli by way of making her a lotus pond at Jinlintai. So that’s nice!

A bit later Lan Wangji comes to visit! Only it’s totally coincidental, he was just passing through, that’s all. He and Wei Wuxian hang out for a little while, pretending things are sort of normal, but they have to rush back to the Burial Mounds because the Wen Ning is out. They manage to get him under control and awaken him to proper consciousness again, though! Great! Things are looking up. :)

Lan Wangji does not stay for dinner, though. :(

In my notes I have written “meanwhile...political shitshow” and that is basically a summation of what’s up in places that aren’t the Burial Mounds. Specifically, Jin Guangshan, who seems to have deputized Jin Guangyao to do his dirty work generally, is making noises about how something needs to be done about that Wei Wuxian, and what about that Yin Tiger Seal anyway, doesn’t it seem Yin Iron-like, shouldn’t something like that not be in the hands of a random person? Probably it should be in someone else’s hands instead. Someone responsible with no ulterior motives. You know.

Also in here...somewhere, Mianmian tries to stand up for Wei Wuxian being maybe right about some things, gets shouted down, and decides to leave the Jin Sect entirely. Like...just walks out. Several people look at her like ‘you can do that?’, Lan Wangji is jealous, it is a total boss move. Mianmian hasn’t been a major character but this is important enough and cool enough that I had to mention it.

Jiang Yanli and Jiang Cheng come to Yiling (by the Burial Mounds) for a very secret rendezvous where Wei Wuxian gets to see Jiang Yanli’s beautiful wedding dress and eat some of her famous soup and it is very sweet and nice and Jiang Cheng is like “so do you have a plan for if everyone attacks you” and Wei Wuxian is like “absolutely. I will kill everyone is my plan.”

also possibly Jiang Yanli is already pregnant at this point??? she and Jiang Cheng are certainly exchanging a lot of conspiratorial smiles when she tells Wei Wuxian to give her future son a courtesy name.

She is for sure pregnant later, because there is a baby named Jin Ling who shows up! (Remember that name? No? He was the bratty teenager from episode 2.) Jin Guangshan does not allow Jin Guangyao to hold the baby, for which he deserves what he gets. For Jin Ling’s 100 day/three month (again! timelines, fuck em) celebration, Jiang Cheng, Jin Zixuan, and Lan Wangji tag team to get Wei Wuxian invited, where he will come and it will be nice and everyone will discuss this Yin Tiger Seal issue like civilized people.

An invitation is sent for Wei Wuxian to come to the celebration! Wonderful! This is in no way going to go horribly wrong.

Oh Shit, Things Went Downhill Fast (Take Two) Arc

It goes horribly wrong.

On the way to Jinlintai to greet his new baby nephew, accompanied by Wen Ning, Wei Wuxian is confronted by - surprise! - Jin Zixun, accusing Wei Wuxian of putting a curse on him. Wei Wuxian denies it, naturally, since he didn’t. Jin Zixun decides the best way to deal with this situation is to kill Wei Wuxian, which will definitely break the curse that Wei Wuxian definitely cast on him.

He attacks, and Wen Ning goes Ghost General on everyone’s ass, and Wei Wuxian brings out his flute. Things are looking pretty hairy when Jin Zixuan shows up to call off the fight, trying to get Wei Wuxian to back down; he does not back down, because that would just mean getting shot full of arrows.

Wen Ning, who seems to have completely lost his mind, fists Jin Zixuan. Through the chest. This does, in fact, kill him.

His dying words are to say that Jiang Yanli is still waiting for Wei Wuxian to show up, just to make everything worse. Wen Ning kills Jin Zixun as well. This is not actually what Wei Wuxian wanted to happen.

Back at the Burial Mounds! In the wake of Jin Zixuan’s death, an ultimatum has been issued to give up the Wen siblings or else. This is pretty clearly (in my opinion) a pretext that doesn’t mean anything, but Wen Qing and Wen Ning have already decided to sacrifice themselves. Maybe they’re hoping it’ll work? Or at least that it’ll give Wei Wuxian some time? Wen Qing knocks Wei Wuxian out so he can’t stop them. The whole thing is really fucking heartbreaking.

Wei Wuxian comes around and goes to Jinlintai, where he sees Jiang Yanli, who is mourning her dead husband who got killed by her baby brother! Cool! She sees Wei Wuxian but he runs before she can say anything, partly because guards have been sicced on him. He is pretty clearly having a mental breakdown, hallucinations and all!

Cut to a gathering of...pretty much everyone important and all their followers at Nightless City, for a combination commemorating the dead/affirming the deaths of Wen Ning and Wen Qing/gearing up to kill Wei Wuxian.

Who spares them the effort of coming to find him by showing up on the roof! He proceeds to sic dark magic on everyone there except, conspicuously, for the Jiang Sect. Lan Wangji arrives to defuse the situation and fails to defuse the situation until Wei Wuxian hears Jiang Yanli calling for him.

Because she’s arrived on an active battlefield! Not her best idea but it’s not like I can actually blame her considering the week she’s having.

Wei Wuxian goes to look for her, as does Jiang Cheng who also heard her, and...suddenly loses control of his dark magic. Cool! One of the...undead? people there wounds Jiang Yanli. Even better! Jiang Cheng pleads with Wei Wuxian to get things under control, which he can’t! They have a moment while a lot of people around them are dying but you know what, they deserve it.

because like literally a second later Jiang Yanli pushes Wei Wuxian out of the way of a sword meant to stab him in the back and instead takes it herself. And dies.

So. Yeah.

Wei Wuxian loses the last threads of his sanity and destroys the Yin Tiger Seal. While everybody is fighting over it, he goes over to the edge of a cliff, and now we’re back here where we started! With Lan Wangji clinging to Wei Wuxian’s hand as he dangles over the edge of a cliff and tells him to let go.

Jiang Cheng arrives to defuse the situation, by which I mean “he tells Wei Wuxian to go die and stabs down.” He only hits rock; Wei Wuxian breaks himself loose of Lan Wangji’s grip and falls. You are left on the image of Lan Wangji’s absolutely devastated face.

nice! great. well, that brings us up to speed for the flashforward to the future, where you have probably completely forgotten what happened in the first two episodes.

For instance: remember how we saw Wen Ning despite the fact that he’s supposed to be ashes? Yeah.

And We’re Back in the Present Now Arc (Good Times in Qinghe Arc)

For some reason this is the part of the show where I remember the least and it all kind of blurs together with the exception of one scene? so I had to go look at Wikipedia episode summaries to make sure I was putting things in the right order.

Back in the present at the Cloud Recesses, Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji discover that the very angry sword spirit last seen killing people at Mo Manor (remember that?) is pointing them in the direction of Qinghe (the Nie Sect territory). They leave to go there and run into Jin Ling, who semi-accidentally terrorizes Wei Wuxian by way of dog.

By asking around, they also learn that there are rumors of a man-eating fortress in the woods, and that it hasn’t been dealt with because the leader of the Nie Sect is absolutely useless. The leader of the Nie Sect who is now - hey, been a while! - Nie Huaisang, since his older brother disappeared under mysterious circumstances after losing his mind years ago.

The dynamic duo go off to investigate the man-eating fortress, naturally, and what they find is a tomb full of swords and a wall full of skeletons, and also Jin Ling.

They remove Jin Ling from the wall, Lan Wangji goes chasing a mysterious attacker, and Wei Wuxian takes Jin Ling to safety only to end up running into - oh boy! - Jiang Cheng.

They have a calm talk about their feelings and address their dysfunction in a reasonable manner.

Nope! Jiang Cheng corners Wei Wuxian with Jin Ling’s dog, throws a cup of tea at a wall, and yells at Wei Wuxian about how he both didn’t come home right away and also how he should die ten million times (no, like, actually). Fortunately, Jin Ling arrives, lies out his ass about how he saw Wen Ning to get Jiang Cheng to leave, and lets Wei Wuxian go.

Back to that mysterious figure Lan Wangji went running after! Turns out it was none other than Nie Huaisang, who confesses - reluctantly - that the man-eating fortress belongs to his family and is a safe home for bloodthirsty swords after their owners die, which is a normal thing to get as a family heirloom. This is also where it becomes increasingly clear that (a) the sword spirit is Baxia, Nie Mingjue’s sword, and (b) Nie Mingjue is most likely hella dead, specifically murdered.

With this new information, Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian move on, tracking the directions of the angry sword spirit. They overhear some very depressing story about Song Lan, Xiao Xingchen, and Xue Yang, specifically how things turned out horribly for them (though without details), which drives Lan Wangji to drink.

Lan Wangji cannot hold his liquor, at all. Wei Wuxian takes his unconsciousness as an opportunity to flute Wen Ning to him again, and removes a massive metal needle from his skull, which fixes the whole “unconscious zombie” issue. Unfortunately, Wen Ning remembers nothing about what happened to him between going to Jinlintai with Wen Qing and when he heard Wei Wuxian calling by way of flute.

And now we have Drunkji, who is the most adorable, hilarious thing ever. He gives Wei Wuxian chickens, with utmost sincerity. They are wedding chickens. It is very important that Wei Wuxian have these chickens.

This interlude is not important to the plot but it is hilarious. There is also a not hilarious interlude of Lan Wangji being very sad about how he didn’t help Wei Wuxian before, and also admitting that he likes rabbits. Again: not plot important. It is adorable.

Wei Wuxian herds Drunkji back to the inn, where a mysterious masked man attempts to steal the pouch holding the angry sword spirit, but is driven off and teleports away. Remember this guy! He’s important.

The next morning, they set off and hit the road for a place called Yi City, which if you’ve spent any time on this blog you know is deeply important in my heart if not, like, in terms of show space.

Yi City Arc Yi City Arc Yi City Arc

yes this is three episodes but this is my summary post so I get to give it its own section if I want to.

Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji arrive at Yi City, which is empty, and very spooky. They run into the pack of juniors (Jin Ling, Lan Sizhui, sassmaster Lan Jingyi and consummate romantic Ouyang Zizhen are the named ones), and shortly thereafter into a whole bunch of undead. They also run into a ghost (???) girl who is blind and has no tongue. They also also run into Xiao Xingchen, severely wounded.

Psych! It’s Xue Yang in disguise and he has an undead Song Lan under his control. what a fun twist this is! and he wants one thing specifically: for Wei Wuxian to help him bring someone back to life. Problem is that their soul is in need of some serious super glue and super glue doesn’t work on souls.

Xue Yang informs Wei Wuxian that his consent is optional and he will be participating in Xue Yang’s necromancy experiment fantasies whether he likes it or not. Lan Wangji objects strenuously to this idea. While Lan Wangji is fighting Xue Yang and Wen Ning is fighting Song Lan (corpse fight! corpse fight!) Wei Wuxian herds the juniors into a safe courtyard where the corpses won’t go, led by the aforementioned ghost girl, who shows them a coffin.

the coffin has Xiao Xingchen in it. The actual real one. There’s a bandage over his eyes, because he doesn’t have any.

Wei Wuxian goes into the ghost girl’s memories in order to find out what happened using a technique called Empathy, and the next chunk of things I’m just going to tell in full chronologically even though there’s a break where you don’t see all of it until an episode later.

The ghost girl, a-Qing, is a con artist who pretends to be blind; she runs into Xiao Xingchen (who is actually blind) when she steals his money, and he just gives it to her after stopping someone else whose money she stole from beating him up. A-Qing decides they’re friends now. They’ve been traveling together for...some amount of time when they stumble on a badly injured man on the side of the road. Xiao Xingchen picks him up and takes him home with him (to an abandoned coffin house in Yi City). You get one guess who he’s rescued and who is totally psyched to discover that his life has been saved by Xiao Xingchen, who doesn’t know who he is, because he’s blind.

So you know, everything is coming up Xue Yang.

What follows is three years of domestic bliss, including hits like “entire villages dying by Xiao Xingchen under sort of suspicious circumstances” and “threatening grocers.” And then who should show up but Song Lan! Looking for Xiao Xingchen and he’s so happy to have finally found him.

Only he notices Xue Yang first.

A fight ensues, in which Xue Yang...sort of talks Song Lan to death by digging into the fact that Xiao Xingchen is blind because he gave his eyes to Song Lan, actually, and Song Lan hurt him so bad when they broke up, and because Xiao Xingchen is blind Xue Yang has been able to trick him into killing living people when he thinks he’s killing undead ones, and oooh do you feel bad now, well, guess what, you’re gonna feel worse when I poison you into becoming undead and cut out your tongue. :D

And even worse when this means that Xiao Xingchen stabs him because, you know, undead monster.

Cool! Things are going great.

Or they would be only a-Qing saw everything, reveals it to Xiao Xingchen, who puts it together and greets XueYang coming back from grocery shopping with a sword (rude). They break up, and by “break up” I mean “Xue Yang reveals his tragic backstory, Xiao Xingchen is not convinced that his tragic backstory means all the murder was justified, Xue Yang decides it’s time to make this all go nuclear.” So tells Xiao Xingchen about how he’s been killing people actually! And guess what, bonus, one of those people was your BFF/life partner/whatever, Song Lan. isn’t that amazing, Xiao Xingchen, isn’t that so cool--

Xiao Xingchen kills himself and this is, it turns out, Not What Xue Yang Wanted. So guess who’s in the pouch Xue Yang was hoping to resurrect? Yeah.

Back in the present, with help from a-Qing directing Lan Wangji, Xue Yang gets...hella stabbed, but not before he kills a-Qing. Song Lan, freed from Xue Yang’s control, kills Xue Yang.

Oh yeah, and then we see Xiao Xingchen tenderly laying pieces of candy on a bed, which is symbolically important, and also Xue Yang dies looking at the last piece of candy Xiao Xingchen gave him, and now I’m going to cry. anyway Yi City Arc, you’re welcome. Where the only person who survives did not, in fact, survive!

Oh, yeah, I guess it’s also important that there’s a headless body buried here and it gets...pretty conclusively identified as Nie Mingjue because the sword spirit (remember that?) takes the shape of his very distinctive large sword (Baxia). Also Xue Yang recreated the Yin Tiger Seal but it gets snatched away by the masked man from earlier. There’s also a bunch of stuff about the Yin Iron plot but you can ignore it, it doesn’t actually really matter that much.

Honestly at that point I was crying too much to pay a whole lot of attention to the whole point of them being in Yi City to begin with. So sue me.

The Plot Thickens, and Secrets Are Revealed Arc

Exeunt Yi City, rendezvous with Lan Xichen to discuss, obliquely, who could be responsible for Nie Mingjue’s death. Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji delicately imply that maybe it was Jin Guangyao; Lan Xichen is unconvinced and informs us that there are no curse marks indicating that he’d teleported on Jin Guangyao’s body, he would know, and also they’ve been together every night so he wouldn’t have time to get up to shenanigans anyway.

Hm.

Still, they go ahead together to ruin another party/investigate at Jinlintai, with Wei Wuxian safely in disguise (barely), unfortunately as Mo Xuanyu, who is not exactly welcome in the Jin Sect because he got kicked out of it earlier. Mo Xuanyu is a whole...thing that I’m not really going into here because the show doesn’t really get into it either.

Wei Wuxian ducks out to investigate, and in the form of an animated paper man, to the tune of music we have never heard before in this show and will never hear again (look, it’s just weird to me), goes sneaking into Jin Guangyao’s rooms to do some poking around. His investigations are interrupted when Jin Guangyao’s wife Qin Su, in a state of severe distress, returns, followed shortly by Jin Guangyao. They argue about an unknown revelation in a letter Qin Su received that has resulted in her being disgusted by...something, we don’t know what, and angry with Jin Guangyao. She accuses him of killing their kid.

Eventually he paralyzes her and removes her to a secret room through a mirror, which is a thing everyone has, especially one with a bunch of torture instruments and a body sized table with dried blood on it. Normal!

Remember how the body in Yi City was headless? Yeah, we found the head now.

And it’s time for another Empathy flashback!

Empathy Flashback feat. Nie Mingjue and Jin Guangyao’s Bad Relationship Mini Arc

This time with Nie Mingjue (and Jin Guangyao). We see Jin Guangyao very quickly elevated from a servant who is spat upon by the other Nie cultivators to Nie Mingjue’s right hand man, like, literally in two seconds. Flash forward to episode 10 - remember that? - where Jin Guangyao has just been caught in a compromising murder position. Nie Mingjue accuses Jin Guangyao plotting all along and is a conniving little snake who was in league with Xue Yang (which is a thing that does not make sense, actually), and kicks him out.

We next see Nie Mingjue in Nightless City, having been captured and currently being taunted by a very sexy Meng Yao, who kills some other Nie cultivators and threatens to fuck up Nie Mingjue by shattering his sword (which would be catastrophic and is, we are informed, how Nie Mingjue’s dad died). Nie Mingjue is understandably rather displeased by this to the point of probable murder, though Lan Xichen reminds him (as he did in the previous scene) that Meng Yao was acting as a spy and Meng Yao argues that he needed to play his part.

The relationship between the two of them continues to deteriorate as Nie Mingjue becomes more unstable (something that just happens to the Nies by virtue of their cultivation style). That deterioration is being delayed by healing music from Lan Xichen. Lan Xichen teaches Jin Guangyao the healing music. Jin Guangyao seems to be possibly doing something not healing with the healing music.

This all escalates into a confrontation at the top of the stairs of Jinlintai, where Nie Mingjue and Jin Guangyao argue about class politics and justifiable violence (no, really) until Nie Mingjue explodes and kicks Jin Guangyao down the stairs.

And then proceeds to, as Jin Guangyao looks on, have a qi deviation, which is...well, let’s just call it both a physical and a mental breakdown. Nie Huaisang arrives to see this happening, and while we saw this before and it looked like Nie Mingjue was threatening Nie Huaisang because he didn’t recognize him, this time it is more apparent that he’s directing it at Jin Guangyao.

Next we see, Nie Mingjue is chained to that body sized table in the secret room. Xue Yang is there, and uses Nie Mingjue’s sword to behead Nie Mingjue. He’s psyched as hell about it. If you’re me this is adorable.

And Now Back to Our Regularly Scheduled Programming Arc

Flashback ends! And we are back in Jinlintai. Wei Wuxian goes to get Lan Wangji and Lan Xichen to storm Jin Guangyao’s bedroom, to which Su She objects, but Jin Guangyao eventually allows. They all file together into the secret room and look around, but there is no longer any severed head where Wei Wuxian left it. Whoops.

Then Qin Su kills herself, Jiang Cheng arrives to defuse the situation while Jin Guangyao pleads innocent, and Wei Wuxian, by way of drawing his sword that nobody else could draw before now, reveals that he is, in fact, Wei Wuxian. Everyone in this room actually already knew this information except for Jin Ling, who is not thrilled to discover that his cool uncle is the guy who murdered his parents. Nobody else does a very good job of faking surprise.

Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian make a run for it only to be cornered on the stairs. Extreme romance ensues where Lan Wangji announces his intent to stand by Wei Wuxian forever against the world.

This is where the “I was like, SCREAMS” meme kicks in.

Anyway, after that love confession (look, they can’t say ‘I love you’ but basically) in front of everyone, Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian fight their way out together and are well on the way to freedom when Jin Ling stabs Wei Wuxian.

Nobody is happy about this, including Jin Ling.

Wei Wuxian is okay overall, though he does faint and have to get swept off to the Cloud Recesses and undressed and redressed in Lan Wangji’s underwear. Don’t worry about it. And now it’s time to talk to Lan Xichen, who is currently feeling very “what the hell is going on, you have no proof and are accusing a person I trust completely of something horrible without any proof.”

They still don’t have any proof, but Wei Wuxian reveals that in the flashback he heard Jin Guangyao playing the soothing music but different, and it comes out that there is evil Japanese music that can kill people and be used to poison someone slowly over time. It’s literally this post:

Lan Xichen is not entirely convinced but agrees to investigate; Jin Guangyao comes to Cloud Recesses and has an absolutely heartbreaking conversation with Lan Xichen about how is our friendship over, Zewu--jun :( while Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji eavesdrop.

That conversation isn’t plot important either, I just personally find it very upsetting.

The Burial Mounds, Take Two Arc

Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji leave the Cloud Recesses, heading toward the Burial Mounds because Jin Guangyao mentioned something being up there. But they end up meeting - surprise! - Mianmian, who is living her best life. This is mostly important because she is literally the only female character who makes it out of this show alive.

She mentions that there’s been some trouble around the Burial Mounds, so they head in that direction, running into Wen Ning along the way, who has been following them around because he loves Wei Wuxian. The Burial Mounds are indeed full of active undead and they fight their way up to the old farming commune location, which is less empty than expected because there are a bunch of kids tied up in Wei Wuxian’s old lair/cave/house. Like, all of them. Including Jin Ling, who really is having a terrible time lately, and I just feel the need to note that sometimes.

As they free the children and start to leave, everyone else arrives with the plan of killing Wei Wuxian again, because once wasn’t enough and obviously he’s Up To No Good, where else would these corpses be coming from, huh?

Speaking of corpses.

A small army of them shows up! All the cultivators who aren’t children lose their powers! Everyone has to retreat back into the lair/cave/house where they’ll be safe! So this is all...going well.

Fortunately, everyone being stuck in one place gives Wei Wuxian the opportunity to get his Hercule Poirot on and walk everyone through a series of deductions to get them to a place of realizing that (a) they were poisoned by evil music, (b) the evil music came from Su She, (c) Su She is working for Jin Guangyao who (d) planned all of this whole ‘everyone is going to the Burial Mounds to get killed’ thing.

Su She panics, inadvertently reveals that he alone still has his powers, and teleports out. Wei Wuxian decides that a reasonable solution to all these problems is to make himself bait for all the undead so everyone else can make a run for it, because Wei Wuxian is kind of like that.

It’s okay, though, he and Lan Wangji make a spectacular battle couple.

(Oh, yeah. Throughout here it is becoming increasingly clear that Lan Sizhui’s identity is Significant and actually we Might Have Seen Him Before.)

Back to Lotus Pier Arc, or Jin Ling Has a Very Bad Day, Continued Arc

Safely out of the Burial Mounds thanks to Wei Wuxian, everybody goes ahead and invites themselves back to Jiang Cheng’s house. To be fair, it is closest.

My notes here say “Wen Ning figures out that Lan Sizhui is a-Yuan, Jin Ling has an emotional breakdown” which is a more or less accurate summation of the situation. Honestly, though, I feel so bad for Jin Ling at this point, he’s had an absolute nightmare of a month and then today happened and like. I feel for him.

But Wen Ning reuniting with the last remaining member of his family! Though he doesn’t...actally tell Lan Sizhui this, and Lan Sizhui doesn’t have any memories of his early years.

Jiang Cheng reluctantly allows Wei Wuxian inside. Wen Ning has to stay on the porch, but Lan Sizhui stays with him to keep him company, because he is a good boy.

This next part...hoo boy. It’s a lot of exposition featuring two ladies who appear to relate their stories about Jin Guangyao, featuring the part where he murdered his father by using a bunch of sex workers (who then were murdered in turn, except for one), also involving necrophilia, and the one where Qin Su was Jin Guangyao’s sister, actually, and he knew it and still married her. Sect Leader Bad Takes says that’s probably why Jin Guangyao killed their kid, because children of incest inevitably have developmental problems? Yeah, sure, buddy.

Anyway, everyone starts shouting for Jin Guangyao’s head, which is very familiar to Wei Wuxian, who leaves in some disgust. While wandering with Lan Wangji, they wind up going to the family shrine (which is, to be clear, a pretty sacred place). Which is where Jiang Cheng finds them! And once again they have a reasonable and emotionally steady conversation.

Nope. Jiang Cheng talks shit trying to provoke a fight that Wei Wuxian won’t have. As he and Lan Wangji attempt to leave, Jiang Cheng pursues because he’s not done yelling dammit, lashing out with Zidian. Wei Wuxian faints, and Wen Ning arrives to stand in between him and Lan Wangji and Jiang Cheng, holding Wei Wuxian’s sheathed sword (remember, the one nobody other than Wei Wuxian can draw). Wen Ning proceeds to initiate one of the single best devastating beatdowns of the show without laying a hand on Jiang Cheng, specifically by shoving the sword at Jiang Cheng and telling him to draw it, because hey you can do that now! Wonder why that is? Wouldn’t you like to know what’s going on there, Jiang Wanyin?

Remember way back when Jiang Cheng lost his core and got it back because Wei Wuxian gave him his core? Yeah, this is when he finds out about that. Psych! Your brother loves you and also the only reason you got to be as strong as you are is because he sacrificed himself for you! Which is also the reason why he took up demonic cultivation in the first place!

Seriously, it’s so good, I love this scene. Probably one of my favorites in the whole show.

Jiang Cheng runs away; Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian have a moment on a lake where Lan Wangji indulges Wei Wuxian by eating stolen lotuses with him. It’s sweeter than it sounds when I put it like that.

Guanyin Temple Arc

oh god, how do I. how do I describe Guanyin Temple. partially this is hard because by virtue of censorship about dead bodies, among probably other things, there are huge gaps that make portions of it make no sense so I’m gonna go ahead and...fill in some of those that are intelligible pretty much only with some knowledge of book plot, imo.

Wen Ning, Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian go to a place called Yunping because Jin Guangyao bought some land there for some reason. There they find a slightly suspicious temple (Guanyin Temple). They come back at night, leaving Wen Ning to stand guard, and spy on the courtyard, where a bunch of conspicuously armed monks are there, along with Lan Xichen aaaaand...Jin Guangyao.

Jin Ling arrives! And decides it’s a good idea to climb over the wall. Wei Wuxian blocks someone from shooting him by using the bamboo flute he’s been using this whole time, so he now functionally has no weapon, and also he and Lan Wangji have been exposed, so now the two of them and also Jin Ling are in the courtyard. Lan Xichen admits he was tricked and doesn’t have any of his powers. Jin Guangyao threatens Lan Wangji into sealing his by threatening Wei Wuxian with a wire. It’s sexy.

Everybody goes inside the temple, where several monks are digging up something ??? under the floor. This is never explained and that is because it is supposed to be Jin Guangyao’s mother’s body, and there are very strict rules I understand about what can be done with dead bodies in dramas like this one. Anyway, Jin Guangyao loved his mom very much and built a temple where she was buried where the statue has her face. He is exhuming her so he can take her body with him when he flees the country, which is what he was planning here. Of course, now he has a bunch of unwanted hostages (and one wanted hostage), which was not actually part of the plan.

The next person to join the party is an unconscious Nie Huaisang, brought in by Su She, who basically says “I have no idea what he was doing here but...here he is” and Jin Guangyao is like. Well, guess he’s here now.

Next to show up is Jiang Cheng! Making an excellent and extremely dramatic entrance. Unfortunately, he still gets injured and taken down as Jin Guangyao starts poking at his very obvious emotional weak spots, including revealing that Jiang Cheng knows about the golden core thing. Wei Wuxian, who did not know that secret came out because he was unconscious at the time, goes “wait, what?” and thus ensues the epic emotional catharsis crying and yelling conversation I was waiting for for 47 episodes. Seriously, it’s really good. They end up in a place where all is not solved but things are...maybe a little better?

Of course, they’re still hostages.

Meanwhile, back at the dig site, something gets unearthed that is not Jin Guangyao’s mother’s body but is in fact a coffin with Nie Mingjue’s body, now complete with head, in it. The reveal also drops here that Su She has the marks that indicate he cast the curse on Jin Zixun that Jin Zixun accused Wei Wuxian of casting.

A very ugly argument ensues where everyone is poking at everyone else’s things that they’re sensitive about, until finally Lan Xichen recovers his powers and turns the tables on Jin Guangyao by putting a sword to his neck.

The next part is basically...explaining how all the bad things that happened were Jin Guangyao’s fault? Or at least that’s the explanation given. I find it personally very frustrating as a narrative choice and sort of unnecessary, but maybe that’s just me. Anyway, Jin Guangyao is pleading for mercy from Lan Xichen, saying he’ll leave and never return, the whole thing is very emotional.

We also find out that Jin Guangshan kicked Jin Guangyao down the stairs. People really need to stop doing that.

And now Wen Ning arrives! Punting Lan Sizhui in ahead of him. He is possessed by a very angry sword spirit (namely, Baxia). Lan Wangji cuts off Jin Guangyao’s right arm, because Lan Wangji likes doing that, apparently. Baxia-possessed Wen Ning then targets Jin Ling because Jin Ling has Jin Guangyao’s blood on him - only for Wen Ning to stop the blade with his bare hand and save Jin Ling’s life, because Wen Ning is both a badass and very good.

Jiang Cheng throws Wei Wuxian his old flute, which he apparently has just been keeping under his bed or something for sixteen years, which is a thing that I will always never be over, and Wei Wuxian flutes the very angry sword into the Nie Mingjue-holding coffin.

Which would be fine, only then Nie Huaisang starts yelling about how Su She totally stabbed him, no, really, look, he’s bleeding. Baxia kills Su She. Then Wei Wuxian manages to put the sword back in the coffin, as well as the Yin Tiger Seal, and locks both away.

Whew.

Everybody’s sitting down and recovering a little as Lan Xichen tends Jin Guangyao’s wounds. He turns around to get medicine from Nie Huaisang, who tells him to look out because Jin Guangyao is attacking you!!!

Lan Xichen runs Jin Guangyao through.

Oh boy.

Jin Guangyao is a little impressed about Nie Huaisang having been plotting this all along. Because he was. He absolutely was. He’s absolutely been planning this for years. Everybody needs a hobby.

But it’s Lan Xichen who he really addresses here, telling him that he’d never hurt him. The actual line really hurts but I’m trying to not reproduce lines here, except I am going to say that he drags Lan Xichen - still with a sword through him! - deeper into the temple and says “stay and die with me” as the temple starts to collapse. Lan Xichen, who was about to strike and presumably push himself away, lowers his hand, and Jin Guangyao abruptly pushes him away and out of the collapsing building.

Romance!

(No, but seriously, it’s a lot.)

Thus ends Jin Guangyao.

Outside in the courtyard, everyone’s taking a breather. Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian stare longingly at each other across the room and say nothing. Jiang Cheng walks away and we learn that - surprise! - the reason Jiang Cheng was caught by the Wens way back when is because he was keeping the Wens from catching Wei Wuxian instead.

Everybody in this family in just a big circle of self sacrifice. In the words of Wen Qing:

(Who misses Wen Qing? I do!)

Anyway, Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian leave with each other, only to be caught on the road by Lan Sizhui and Wen Ning - Lan Sizhui, who has remembered that he was a-Yuan and finally someone tells Wei Wuxian this, and ahhhh, okay, I know what I said about limiting screencaps but I can’t not:

Now that’s what I call a hug!

They part ways again, Lan Sizhui leaving with Wen Ning for some family time and for Wen Ning to find his own way. Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian...seem like they’re going in different directions, but then they’re at Cloud Recesses together, playing music, hanging out, vibing. They talk to Nie Huaisang, but don’t directly confront him about his scheming. Mostly just making sure he’s not, you know, gonna do anything else.

Then Wei Wuxian leaves to go on a roadtrip to find himself. People really do not like this, but I personally really do like this, especially because the last shots of the show are Wei Wuxian playing his and Lan Wangji’s theme song (the one that Lan Wangji wrote, remember, from the cave? It’s come up a lot, I just haven’t mentioned it here), and when he finishes Lan Wangji’s voice says “Wei Ying” and he turns around and just like. Smiles. It’s scrunchy and happy and perfect.

Like this:

aaaaaaand scene! fifty episodes later your life has been ruined and you will never be the same.

and the thing is that this is leaving out, like. a lot, and probably is biased because I focus on different things than another person would, &c &c, but at least it might be a starting point for...the entire plot.

and also congratulations if you made it this far, I am impressed. have a screenshot of wei wuxian as a reward, whose mental breakdown does make him look sexy

you’re welcome.

#anonymous #conversating #HOLY SHIT THAT WENT SOMEWHERE #anon if this isn't what you wanted....i'm very sorry send me another ask and i can link you to someone else's summary #but i started going and then i couldn't stop #and now here we are #the sad queer cultivators show #you know what i am going to tag this because it was kind of a lot of work #the untamed #cql #thanks for reading this and making sure it made any kind of sense james #lise does meta #i guess??????

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searlaitflanagan · 4 years ago

Photo

↪ brief introduction to séarlait flanagan.

BASICS

full name: séarlait maura agnes flanagan. nickname(s): charlie, little bear. age: twenty-six. date of birth: 31 july 1994. zodiac sign: leo. place of birth: manhattan, new york city, new york. ethnicity: caucasian. nationality: american & irish ( she has dual citizenship ). gender: cis female. sexual orientation: homosexual. romantic orientation: homoromantic. religion: she was raised catholic— she had a confirmation and all but in her adulthood she’s never practiced all that much; the most she does is go to confession on occasion. occupation: freelance artist & bartender at the jagged yard. language(s) spoken: english, irish & borderline-fluent french from language courses in high school and college. accent: charlie has more of a new york accent than anything else but her inflections on certain words sound a little bizarre if only because her parents both have very pronounced irish accents and they taught her how to talk.

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE

face claim: natalia dyer. hair color: brown, for the most part; she dyes it blonde on occasion but that’s a sporadic thing. eye color: blue. height: 5′4″. weight: 121 lbs. build: slim. tattoos: she has a tattoo on the inside of her wrist of a bear that fades into a forest near the top ( here ) & the initials ‘KM’ on the inside of her left ring finger in honor of her late fiancée. piercings: she has traditional piercings in her firsts and seconds, a helix piercing in her left ear & and an industrial piercing in her right ear. distinguishing characteristics: the moments when she’s genuinely outgoing, her penchant for flirting with every pretty girl she meets even if she’s not thinking about it, the fact that she’ll rattle off swears in irish when she’s having a bad day and doesn’t do much to contain it.

PERSONALITY

label: the tortured artist. positive traits: capable, clever, compassionate, considerate, creative, curious, daring, dedicated, earnest, empathetic, generous, independent, loyal, observant, passionate, protective, reliable, selfless, warm. negative traits: competitive, irreverent, sarcastic, self-conscious. aloof, anxious, crude, haughty, hedonistic, impulsive, timid. goals/desires: to make art she’ll be remembered for long after she’s gone, to find a way to be happy again, to find love again ( even if that’s something she rarely admits to herself ). fears: autophobia ( fear of being alone ). hobbies: going for walks, people watching for art references, sketching, playing with her cat, taking naps in the sun, playing video games, reading, listening to music, playing piano, painting, learning new things, teaching herself how to use photoshop, practicing new art styles. quirks: she wears her engagement ring on a leather cord around her neck but very rarely tells anyone what it is, when she’s having a crisis and feels like she needs to talk herself through it she almost always does so in irish, she remembers people’s names and faces after meeting them even if she only interacted with them for a few seconds, she has a working knowledge of current popular children’s shows because of her nieces and nephews, she gives the contacts in her phone their names in irish. likes: whiskey ( she doesn’t drink anymore but it was her favorite when she did ), cute girls, sci-fi films, historical dramas, most foreign films, bob ross, trivia shows, horror movies, compliments from cute girls, her brothers, being an aunt, new york city, the anonymity of living in big cities, jazz, classical piano pieces, her cat, indiana jones movies. dislikes: people who treat her with kid gloves because of her life experiences, relapsing, people who don’t take her seriously, blueberries, most sports, how short she is compared to most of her friends.

FAMILY

father: conor flanagan. mother: moira flanagan ( née delaney ). sibling(s): torin, alasdair, casey & aidan flanagan. pet(s): she has a six month old blue maine coon named indy. financial status: lower class.

BIOGRAPHY

( TW: mentions of death, drug & alcohol abuse, rehab )

In a small, cozy neighborhood in Dublin-- Conor Flanagan and Moira Delaney met, for the first time either of them could remember, on a rainy afternoon when they were five years old. Their parents had been friends since long before either of the children had even been a thought in anyone’s mind and it seemed only natural that Conor and Moira would follow in the footsteps of their parents where friendship was concerned. Though it had been expected it seemed to take no time at all for them to become the best of friends and throughout their childhoods and well into their teenage years they were joined at the hip. It was no real surprise to anyone when they began to date or when they got engaged and it was no surprise but an incredible delight to their families when they got married shortly after they both moved to London to attend university-- each of them hell bent on becoming physicians. From the moment they enrolled at university their lives seemed to progress at a breakneck pace— they finished university with top marks, Moira had their eldest son nine months after their graduation and still managed to juggle being a mother and attending medical school.

When their third son was born the ever-growing Flanagan family packed up their belongings in London and moved to New York where Conor had been offered a promising position and Moira’s very own offer seemed poised to follow shortly thereafter. It was during their first summer in the United States that their daughter— Séarlait— was born and the delight her birth brought to both her parents and her brothers could not be measured in any way. She was a perpetually rambunctious child - curious almost to a fault and quick to learn things she hadn’t known sometimes only hours previous. She began walking and talking far more quickly than any of her brothers had and even as a child her parents were aware that she would go on to do incredible things— even if her route towards some of those things might cause no shortage of headaches for those around her. For her part Charlie-- as she much preferred to be called-- delighted in getting into everything she possibly could for the sake of what her mother often called her ‘little adventures’.

Charlie’s little adventures were often conducted with her best friends at her side— Cole McLean and Katie Marsden— children who lived in her neighborhood who Charlie met shortly after they moved to New York and got to know given the fact that they were the same age and attended the same school. It was no surprise to anyone at all that they did nearly everything together and when they were fourteen and Charlie quietly admitted to her parents that she was almost certain she was in love with Katie-- well, her parents-- who had been able to see the adoration in their daughter’s eyes long before she seemed to understand it herself-- weren’t surprised and wholeheartedly supported Charlie being happy above all other things. With her parents’ support bolstering her courage it took Charlie only a week or two following her coming out to make whatever feelings she could articulate known to her best friend. She considered it the happiest day of her life when they began to date-- a day that was only eclipsed by Katie accepting her proposal when they were eighteen and planning to move to California for college.

As far as Charlie was concerned her life was absolutely perfect— she was attending art school as she’d always wanted, she was living with her fiancée with their best friend only a few blocks away because none of them had been able to attend college without one another. It remained perfect until the end of their junior year at UCLA when Charlie received a call from a local hospital that gave her the worst news she’d ever imagined receiving in her life: Katie had been involved in a violent mugging when she was walking home from a lecture and by the time she had arrived at the hospital it had been too late to save her. Charlie was crushed— devastated seemed a better word for it. She only managed to continue her course work for another two weeks before she dropped out of school entirely-- turning to drinking in a quantity she’d never embraced prior and drugs in a way she’d never even thought of in her life. Ultimately it was Cole who pulled her out of it-- Cole who encouraged her to get help: to check herself into rehab, to attend therapy and a variety of other things that-- a year and a half later made Charlie feel almost herself again.

It was at that moment that she made the executive decision to leave California behind. Returning to New York was out of the question if only because it held as many memories of Katie as their apartment had and she couldn’t bear to suffocate under the weight of them when she was still trying to hold herself together. Instead, she did perhaps the most impulsive thing she’d ever done in her life: she picked a spot on a map randomly and two weeks later found herself in Providence Peak, Colorado with a dinky apartment to her name and a job as a bartender to keep her afloat in the mean time. She’s lived in Providence Peak for close to four years but it’s only within the last few months that she’s started to branch out into making friends and meeting people and attempting to, at the very least, make herself feel the slightest bit more whole.

#providence.intro #「 charlie — general 」 » searlait flanagan.

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truthisgoldenau · 4 years ago

Text

Happy Ending AU

So let's start the expanded lore alternate AU posts with admittedly the most mundane one but also the best guilty pleasure one.

I called it a branch AU on the short post and that's because I go by the theory that there are certain points within the AU where if a single thing went differently it would have entirely different outcomes. One such moment is in regards to the argument that caused the downfall of the 80s Freddy's.

In the Happy Ending AU, the conversation between Pierce and Fred in August of 1987 goes a bit differently than the argument that happens in the main timeline.

Everything's still the same. Pierce was out sick with the flu (let's be real, with his constant lack of sleep/overworking habits and a general disregard for his own health his immune system was just like 'okay you're about to have a real tough time with this'), Fred was still on leave because his twins were just born, and the health/safety inspector that came around was still a no-nonsense woman who had never been sent before. Foxy's still declared dangerous.

In the main AU, Fred comes in specifically to tell Pierce about Foxy with his own ideas of what the plan is and due to exhaustion from recently becoming a father and knowing Pierce is going to take the news badly, he's on guard the whole time and both of them end up saying things that escalate the situation.

In the Happy Ending AU, Fred's still exhausted and on guard but instead of getting frustrated when Pierce suggests he can have revamped Foxy plans prepared in advance so that the time Foxy is decommissioned is shorter, Fred doesn't immediately tell him to basically shut up and do as he says and only worry about Spring Bonnie.

Instead he asks how long it'd take to come up with some workable replacements for the too sharp teeth and hook on Foxy and Pierce tells him he could have a rough idea in a month or two because he's gotta test out what could still be construed as too dangerous himself. Remember these are moving machines Fred, all the motion sensors and gadgets in the world won't do shit if they fall or something.

Fred tells him to work on the plans but to not let it take up all his time since he's still got Spring Bonnie to work on. Then he asks how long it'll take to get Spring Bonnie up and running because it's been a long while and Pierce has been working on it like crazy.

"Maybe by the end of the year, but that's if I keep up with all the rest of the animatronics enough to give me time to work on Spring. If they break in a complicated way or if we have issues with programming it'll cut into that time the way it's been doing. How's the search for another mechanic coming?"

"I can't find anyone. I'm doing my best."

"Yeah. Figured. This might be a longshot but the guy who runs the repair shop I take my bike to has a nephew who's apparently got an eye for electronics. Name's Fritz Smith I think. He was telling me about him last time I was there, I think trying to see if he could get the name out there."

"... I'll look into that."

So yeah, the talk ends amicably and with an actual plan, not just spiteful resentment and stress the way it does in the main story. Fritz Smith, at the time barely out of high school, gets an interview at Freddy's based on the offhand mention of his uncle and gets hired in a trial basis and ends up working part time while still in college. It works out well because remember, the reason Fritz was stressed in the main AU is because Fred was constantly on his case about the failing animatronics and having no assistance to figure out the upgrades left by a mechanic he couldn't contact.

Pierce still is the only one working on Spring Bonnie but once Fritz gets the hang of the different daily maintenance checks and small fixes here and there, Pierce has more time to figure out the last remaining issues with Spring Bonnie and by the middle of January 1988, the diner duo is back in action at Freddy's. The only difference being that they never got the actual gold suit bit fixed because Pierce got the idea that it could be implemented as a story element (he's back, he was hurt for a long time, but he's here now and both old and new characters love him). Fred loved the idea and let him go with it, and with Fritz's help the programming of the diner duo return show was executed flawlessly.

Foxy, who was taken offstage after Finn's sixth birthday party (which went perfectly and no one got hurt), returns in early February of '88 after Fred and Pierce are able to show off Foxy with non-dangerous teeth and hook and prove that unless there were an act of God Foxy couldn't hurt a fly.

In late 1989 for the five year anniversary of this location, the First Mate Finn animatronic used as Foxy's sidekick for the special April Fools' Day show beginning in '87 is made an official part of the lineup.

In '91 an extra security guard (Mike Schmidt) is hired on due to the popularity of Freddy's increasing; talks about finding a larger location are serious.

By the twins 6th birthday in '93, Freddy's has moved to a larger building with more variance in shows. Despite now being 11/12, Finn and Marian are still some of the most well known regulars at Freddy's. Finn has also developed an interest in the animatronics and how they work and both Freddy's mechanics know this well.

There's still tragedy. Maddie Fazbear still is diagnosed with cancer in 1996.

In 1997, Pierce's dad Henry still passes suddenly from a previously unknown heart condition, and with Pierce still around to convince, his mom Jamie tells him he needs to keep up with that kind of check since he lost his dad and grandpa that way. Pierce gets lucky and manages to avoid a problem with this advice. (so how'd he survive in the main au if he wasn't keeping up with this stuff well that's something to be explained later 😎)

Maddie Fazbear still passes away in 1998, even with everything that medicine at the time can do. The family is heartbroken of course- not just immediate family but so many of the people who even just knew of her.

Every year following on her birthday the diner duo play her favorite show song from the original Fredbear's, and every year Fred's still surprised it can hurt that much.

Finn's mom still shows the signs of early onset Alzheimer's beginning in the mid 90s. However, since Finn was never bitten by Foxy, his dad isn't stressed to a point of unawareness due to having both a son who can't remember and a wife beginning to lose her memory and avoids the car crash that would have killed both Patrick and Katherine O'Malley. Finn gets to stay with both his parents which is good, because by 1998 him and Marian (at the time 17/going on 17) have started dating.

By the early 2000s, Finn has started apprenticing at Freddy's to learn how to fix the animatronics because that's his dream. Finn picks it up surprisingly fast, and Fritz, who's been looking for a way to duck out without causing issues, takes this time to respectfully leave Freddy's. He wants to go do his own thing, really, and well, him and longtime boyfriend Mike Schmidt really want to know what the world outside of Spring Valley can bring.

In the mid 2000s, Freddy Jr, now in high school, keeps trying to get a band together. The only kid who shows interest is this kid who Frankie knows from his math class that's called Bonnie. Freddy's skeptical, but Bonnie absolutely kills a guitar solo, and frankly, Freddy's heart is stolen from that moment on, even if he won't say it.

On July 23rd 2005, Fred Fazbear Sr is safe at home with his boys for a monster movie night and doesn't wind up in the accident that takes his life in the main storyline.

Marian and Finn get married in 2007 after dating for over a decade. Everyone's mood is "it's about goddamn time". It's one of the happiest fucking weddings that Spring Valley has ever seen though, that's for sure.

And after that, it's just the rest of the happily ever afters.

Somehow, over all those years, the employees at Freddy's wonder how Pierce was ever the intolerable jackass he's known for being when by the 2010s he's just known as the company grouch.

And Fred never misses a beat with being the best he can be. If anything, he throws more into making Freddy's perfect for families after he loses Maddie since all she ever did was encourage it. She may not have been a constant in the building, but without her love and support, well, what would Freddy's be but a hollow attempt and plea for attention?

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the-romantic-lady · 5 years ago

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Hiiiii, if you get some free time today I was wondering if you could tell me about Richard III and why he’s kind of a stand out among Kings? I don’t really know anything about him and yeah I could google it but idk I just like when other people talk about this stuff sometimes, it just sounds better coming from a person 😂

Hi! I can for sure! Get your snack ready because I get a feeling this is going to be long. One of the main things associated with him (thanks to the bloody Shakespeare) is the murder of his nephews and his attempts to marry his niece. Besides, these things being totally unfounded this is what stuck with his reputation.

One thing to note before I start his story is that he suffered from scoliosis(Eugenie had it too!) which is a curve in the spine and it is really painful. Like a back pain x 100. But when he was young he fought alongside his brother Edward IV(during the Wars of the Roses) to keep Edward the king. This is his teens basically. We don’t know much about his childhood other than the fact that he lived with the Earl of Warwick, where he met his future wife. I mean first of all how he fought with armor on a horse despite his condition is kingly strength on its own but he also lead them to victory a couple of times. Later, Edward IV got exiled after the old king back to the throne. Richard went with his brother in exile. Whilst their brother George conspired against his brother. He was a loyal brother right from the beginning. After Edward was able to reclaim his throne and all seemed good. Richard was made the “Lord of the North”. Basically he would govern the north. Lazy as shit Edward didn’t want to do nothing, that’s why.

He did an amazing job and people loved him. Then Edward died. That is when things went downhill. Edward’s power hungry widow, Elizabeth Woodville started messing with the way things were supposed to go. Edward had named Richard the “Lord Protector” who was in charge of managing things whilst Edward’s son Edward was waiting for his coronation. Also keep in mind that Richard was not told of his brother’s death until a few days later. He immediately set out for London and this is where things get a bit shady. He intercepted his nephew’s entourage and then executed his maternal uncle who was traveling with him. Then he took his nephew to London and basically settled him in the tower and took his other nephew Richard out of sanctuary with his mother and send him to the tower as well.

The apparently, the Archbishop of Bath(I think?) told Richard that Edward had been married before and so his children were illegitimate. And so Richard got himself coronated and became king.

And after studies into his reign, historians think he was actually one of the best kings in terms of policy. He made courts into English so normal folks could get justice, he made a court for people who could not afford legal battles so they could have their cases heard, he banned any restrictions on media and/or books and so much more. A King who focused on substance. He did not focus on the vanity of his court or really crap people said about him. His nephews had disappeared during that time and people thought he killed them. I totally disagree but that is a different post all together. A year into his reign, he lost both his son and later his wife. People said he killed his wife. At her state burial or whatever they used to call those, he stood there with a grim expression. Then after balled his eyes out for his wife. After that henry tudor came and claimed the throne. And they fought at the infamous Battle of Bosworth where Richard III was killed due to betrayal. Yes, he was betrayed by I can’t remember who. And last minute, supposedly, he had lost his horse. His men yelled for him to retreat or take one of their horses. But he didn’t. He just kept on fighting and eventually multiple men attacked him at the same time and a blow to his skull killed him at the age of 32. His body was then stripped and paraded on for people to throw things at. This enrages me so much. People who had lived under his role in the North did memorials for him because he had done so much good for them.

All in all, he was such an honorable man/king. He did his duty as best as he could and despite all that was thrown at him he continued doing his best. And I swear things would have been better if it wasn’t for that piece of shit called Elizabeth Woodville.

For me, he is one king who did his duty, cared about his family and people. An absolute King.

Feel free to ask if something didn’t make sense!

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nanshe-of-nina · 5 years ago

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Wizarding Russian Empire and USSR || Nestor Feodorovich Voinov

Voinov was born in what is now the Krasnodar Krai region of Russia, as the fourth of the five children of Feodor Ivanovich Voinov, an ethnic Russian zemylanin farmer, and Melanippe Vardoulakis, a witch of Pontic Greek origins. Feodor, a habitual alcoholic, died in 1881 of drowning in during a storm and afterwords, the household was run by Melanippe and her eldest daughter, Penthesilea, who had become a journeyman healer. Melanippe was determined that her children get the best education possible, as she herself never had. Voinov excelled in his studies at Koldovstortez, much to his mother’s pleasure, though she was less happy that he renounced religion at 16.

In 1892, he and his sister, Antiopa, joined the newly formed Obshchina Ved’m i Volshebnikov and sided with the Bratstvo Koldunov faction in 1897. In 1898, his youngest sister, Mirina, also joined. Afterwards, he worked in both Lysaya Gora and Ledenets. In 1904, he married the Ukrainian and Bashkir halfblood, Sofiya Antonovna Yevtushenko, but they both fled to France in 1908, while she was pregnant with their first child, a daughter that they named Melanippa after his mother. In 1910, they returned to Russia but were promptly arrested and exiled to Siberia. There, they had a second child, Gektor, in 1911.

Revolution

Voinov and his family returned from Siberia to Ledenets in 1917. Like Yefrem Iosifovich Levandovsky and Zaria Kresnikovna Krasavkina, he was of the opinion that the BK should cooperate with the members of the Shabash Volshebnikov and Krug druzey materi Mokosh, though they were overruled by Babushkin and Oksana Iosifovna Lutsenko.

During the Civil War, he proved himself to be a talented administrator, overseeing the basic running of operations and communications. In 1921, he and Lavrentiy Radigostovich Zemlianitsyn shared the title Commissar for Magic, though it was recognized from the beginning that Zemlianitsyn was essentially a figurehead.

In 1922, he became a member of the Sovet Koldunov. He, Anfisa Zoranovna Krupina, and Ustinya Feodorovna Orlova were recognized as the leaders of the moderates, who supported Afanasiy Anastasovich Kostov, Levandovsky, and Krasavkina against the Lutsenkos and their supporters. After the falling out between Kostov with the “twins”, Krasavkina and Levandovsky, Voinov, Krupina, and Orlova backed the former.

After the death of his youngest sister, Mirina, from Black Cat Flu in 1926, he and Sofiya took in her two half-Circassian sons, Dizchin and Discheshu Dzharimov, aged 19 and 16.

Fall From Power

After the collapse of the alliance between Krasavkina, the Lutsenkos, and Levandovsky, Kostov abruptly turned on Krupina, Orlova, and Voinov in favor of pursuing more radical policies. Things came to a head in 1928 when Krupina was caught complaining to Levandovsky and Svarog Svetovidovich Zolotarev about Kostov and his then-most prominent sidekick, Svarog Volosevich Zhelezov.

Though Voinov held onto his position for slightly longer than Krupina and Orlova, he too was ejected from the SK in 1930 in favor of Agrafena Yuliyevna Lebesheva and appointed as the Commissar of Communications.

Meanwhile, Kostov found a brand new reason to hate Krupina and Voinov in 1932, he discovered that his second daughter, Yuliya, had been pursuing a romantic relationship with Voinov’s only son, Gektor, with the connivance of Krupina’s youngest daughter, Aglaya. Though Krupina and Voinov had not known what their children were up to, Kostov firmly believed otherwise.

Great Harvest

As 1934 dawned, things seemed to be improving, but this was shattered in the spring when M.V. Kulchytskaya was assassinated in Ledenets and the Vedmak of the area, D.K. Mironov, committed suicide shortly after.

At the end of September 1936, Zaria Krasavkina and Yefrem Levandovsky were put on trial with nine of their former supporters and three agent provocateurs where they implicated Voinov, among other things, in terrorism, espionage, and treason.

The day after the end of the trial, when it came out that Krasavkina and Levandovsky had both been executed, Orlova hung herself in her home. Voinov attempted to do the same, but was discovered by his daughter, Melanippa, while writing a suicide note and she talked him out of it.

For unclear reasons, Kostov dithered for months about whether to order the arrests of Krupina and Orlova, even though his new protege, Valery Vsevolodovich Medvednikov both wanted them arrested right away. They were both finally on 4 March 1937 and kept in prison for over a year before being tried between 6 – 21 March 1938 alongside the former diplomats, Vlasiy Dariyevich Kravtsovich and Zdravko Vlajković; the former Zhnetsy, Lyudmila Vyacheslavovna Vishnevskaya and Alena Torkanovna Cheremisina; Krupina’s son-in-law, Kiril Spiridonovich Vorobyov; the Uzbek leaders who had formerly been a married couple, Narimon Isfandiyorovich Niyazov and Tomiris Safarovna Karimova; and Lavrentiy Zemlianitsyn’s eldest daughter, Kseniya Lavrentiyevna Zemlianitsyna. Besides the standard charges of treason, espionage, and terrorism, he was also forced to confess to having helped Vishnevskaya poison his sister, Mirina.

All but Vlajković and Kiril Feognostovich Igumnov were executed afterwards. Supposedly, while awaiting their execution, Voinov angrily broke up an argument between Cheremisina and Mircha Perunovich Zelenko, telling them to be quiet so they could die in peace.

Aftermath

After his execution, his wife and two surviving sisters were both executed while his children and nieces and nephews were shipped off to Vyraj. At some point in the 1940s, the sons of Mirina, Nyasar and Vakha Varayev, were both executed because of their Chechen father and Gektor died of exhaustion and malnutrition in 1952. Before his death, though, he’d fathered a son in 1942 with Yevfemiya Rafaelovna Yastruba, the eldest daughter of the Auror, Varvara Grigoriyevna Sarychina. Though Yevfemiya died not long after the birth, their son somehow managed to survive.

Melanippa and her husband, the Polish rozhdennyy zemley Yakov Isaakovich Klimovich, were both released in 1953. She reestablished contact with Anfisa Krupina’s three daughters and they advocated strongly for their overturning of the verdicts against their parents.

#wizarding russia #harry potter worldbuilding #hpedit #harry potter #nanshe's graphics #nestor voinov

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vmheadquarters · 5 years ago

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Fifteen years ago, our favorite female sleuth made her first appearance on UPN (later turned CW) in Veronica Mars. Three television seasons, a Kickstarter-backed film, and two books later, Veronica Mars is being revived thanks to the beloved streaming platform Hulu.

From the get go, Veronica Mars has sparked the conversation on many ‘controversial’ topics – well ahead of its time – that were handled so well and subtly, you never felt like you were being lectured to. Within the first season, writer-creator Rob Thomas tackled topics like rape, slut-shaming, transphobia, racial stereotypes, and the most prevalent theme at hand is the war and divide between “the have and the have-nots”.

Kristen Bell’s portrayal of Veronica Mars and V’s sassy, yet endearing, personality has taken the marshmallow community by storm. The character is one that is efficacious and sharp, but is not without flaws. Veronica allows each of us to resonate with her as a person, with her struggles, with her traumas; she is and remains a grounded, human character.

The Murder Mystery

Set five years after the Veronica Mars Kickstarter film, three young spring breakers and a motel manager are dead after a bomb explodes in the office of the Neptune Sea Sprite Motel. This is the first of more to come, all of which are hurting the Spring Break destination and beachfront businesses. Hired by the Maloof’s, a wealthy and politically rich family of one of the injured victims, Mars Investigations is on the case to figure out who this serial bomber could be.

Meanwhile, Veronica finally gets a Pony, Logan (Jason Dohring) – a navy intelligence officer – returns home into the arms of Veronica, Papa Mars (Enrico Colantoni) is physically recovering from the car accident that occured in the film and reeling through the emotions of a potentially serious medical issue, Wallace (Percy Daggs III) seems to be happily solidified in his married life and career as a teacher at Neptune High, and Weevil (Francis Capra) must face the formidable consequences that occurred between the film and present-day. Max Greenfield reprises his role as Leo D’Amato, except this time as an FBI agent working with Veronica on the case. Even if you’re a LoVer, Leo’s presence back on the screen is one that deliberately toys with our emotions, but leaves us with a happy sensation coursing through our veins.

The plot has a heavy focus on the main mystery in a serialized fashion, so that any newbie can come fresh into this season without even the basic concept and still be able to follow along. The characters are introduced in a manner that subtly recaps their backstory without being overly explanatory, which allows the new faces to scoop in, but gives enough of the nostalgic factors to cater to those long-term marshmallows. Book readers might notice some similarities between this story line and the content of the books, and while some of it seems to be derived from them, this is not an exclusive adaptation.

There is a noticeable lack of mini-mysteries in each episode set within the confines of the larger, long-con mystery that the previous seasons managed to execute so well. A bit of a letdown since those episodic stories also helped provide teachable moments, and without them we’re almost without the moral compass that creator Rob Thomas has perfected in years past. But when you see how twisted this bombing story turns out to be, in hindsight it’s understandable.

The Nostalgia Doesn’t Outweigh the Modernization

Longtime fans are already on the edge of their seats waiting for this revival and eager to figure out what is so “controversial” about it that warrants Bell’s contemplation of falling off of social media during its release (per an interview with E! News). While they will eat up every moment of the new series, Bell is not wrong in that this is arguably the most controversial season of Veronica Mars simply for the arcs in the storyline. With fellow critics having early-screening access and all eight episodes dropping on day one, caution is advised on social media and within articles, as this season is one you do not want to be spoiled on.

Albeit some pandering to LoVe-rs (the acronym for fans who ship Logan and Veronica), which I am all on board for, Veronica Mars isn’t willing to sacrifice its authenticity and realness simply to keep solidified fans happy. Veronica and Logan have been together for a solid five years now and with a particular state of affairs that arise, Veronica must fight a battle within herself and decide what’s more important: the love of her life or protecting herself from her fears? This is not a plot device created in order to cultivate some rundown teenage emotions, but rather to reflect on the characters we have come to know and love.

Veronica desires chaos because that is all she has known; she has found comfort in it and the only way she has learned to cope with life is by fighting that chaos. ‘Classic Logan’ is in reservation as he’s been working with a therapist, but that doesn’t mean we don’t see those sparks inside of him. For what it’s worth, this is the most likeable and stable Logan has ever been. The chemistry between Bell and Dohring on-screen is on fire more than ever before, and they’re much more compelling now that they’re adults with real issues to discuss.

Hulu doesn’t try to recapture the exact essence of the original three seasons and film, which may be somewhat jarring to old fans. This is new, this is different, and this is an emotional roller coaster you need to prepare yourself for in a completely different way. Thomas and Ruggiero-Wright have managed to take the crux of Veronica Mars & Co., encapsulating who she is and what built her to this phase in life, and expand upon it.

We’re no longer looking at a teenage girl whose life is constantly at battles with every rich kid who wants to dual it out, but we still have good ‘ole Veronica Mars. She’s the same in the way that she still has a hard time letting her guard down – both physically and emotionally – and will smack you in the face with her brutal honesty like a baseball coming out of left field. But Veronica is grown up and we needed this version of her. Sure, they could recycle the same character and we’d still love it, but Veronica aging and growing with her original viewers is a great way to give a nod to those fans and simultaneously grow the show.

New Players Pull Up Their Sleeves and the Old Ones Need More Face Time

When Veronica Mars originally aired, there was an overwhelming number of guest stars on the show that later became top notch actors/actresses. Season four’s casting announcements have generated huge buzz, from big names like J.K. Simmons to Patton Oswalt, and Kirby Howell-Baptiste to Clifton Collins Jr as guest stars.

Simmons plays Clyde Pickett, an ex-con who works for Richard Casablancas a.k.a. “Big Dick (David Starzyk) after meeting during their incarceration in Chino. The two are an entertaining pair who receive a huge chunk of screentime but in relevancy to the over-arching story. You know they’re good when they can fit naturally into the Mars world and hold a light to the insanely talented OG casting. A handful of other guest appearances from the original to tease the fandom will leave you with your hands in the air cheering and send your heart racing (good and bad).

Other criminal syndicates include the fantastic addition of Alonzo (Clifton Collins Jr.), who manages to bring laughter and fun to a character that is a literal drug cartel hitman for El Despiadado.

Alonzo and his new partner are in Neptune looking for the at-fault bomber that killed his boss’s nephew. Unfortunately, the El Despiadado storyline is pretty minute and would be a fun side-story to pursue in the next season. If you’ve seen Collins’ other work, you know just how talented he is, and his persona here is no exception. The vicious and brutal pair might give you a chuckle but you know they mean business.

Two other characters that definitely received their fair amount of attention is Patton Oswalt’s Penn Epner and Kirby Howell-Baptiste’s Nicole. Oswalt is a Cho’s Pizza delivery driver (yes, THAT Cho’s), a true crime obsessee and “murder-head” participant. He’s the kind of pain in the arse we love to have around.

But Nicole. What a character. She’s a strong-willed (and seemingly strong-fisted) business owner of the local spring breaker bar, making waves calling out Big Dick and punching douchebag guys in her establishment. Big Dick is advocating for a movement (N.U.T.S) which seeks to remove the spring-breakers and their trash behavior from Neptune, but he also wants to buy up the real estate on the boardwalk, including that of Matty Ross (Izabela Vidovic).

Matty is the deceased motel manager’s daughter and now property owner of Sea Sprite Motel (somehow, even though she’s still in high school). As V’s new protege, Matty seems to have the same lived experiences as Veronica, leading her to the same determined and resiliant personality that Veronica most definitely can resonate with. She’s an entertaining watch when she gets her screen time, but with as much is packed in to this 8 episode mini-series, there just doesn’t seem to be enough time for the characters growing on us and those we remember with a fondness – like Weevil and Wallace.

Wallace is living his best life – married with a son (who happens to be played by Percy’s ACTUAL daughter) – and working at Neptune High. The absolute disappointment here is that we just don’t get enough of him. We spend so much time focusing on the case at hand and the LoVe relationship, it’s like Wallace was cast to the side a bit. While we can all certainly relate to getting older and losing touch with our close friends, it seems odd that Wallace wouldn’t want to extend his help with this case or that Veronica wouldn’t want to rely on him for some advice. This is the biggest letdown in the revival.

And then there’s Weevil (Francis Capra). Why is he one of the most underrated and incredible castings on the show? Probably because he has a deep heart of gold, he’s beyond loyal to Veronica, and Capra knows how to steal the show with a powerful performance. But again, this is another character we needed more of. One of the most beloved in the show and a character that’s still integral to this storyline, Weevil feels underserved and underutilized.

A Girl Needs Closure

There’s no doubt that this is top-tier content from within the Veronica Mars world, a needed step up from season 3 and the film. But if you’re a marshmallow Weevil’s been loving long time, you’ll need to accept what the writers are doing here and understand why.

It’s not sunshine and rainbows. Rob Thomas always desired Veronica Mars be a dark noir and season four absolutely delivers on this principle. It’s a worthwhile investment that most definitely has a clear conclusion, but with enough content and characters that if Hulu were to appease us, a fifth season is a must.

The shocking ending will leave you speechless and have you wondering how Veronica could possibly recover, taking us back to the roots of what makes Ms. Mars the person she is. As V herself said in season one, “Tragedy blows through your life like a tornado, uprooting everything, creating chaos. You wait for the dust to settle, and then you choose. You can live in the wreckage and pretend it’s still the mansion you remember. Or you can crawl from the rubble and slowly rebuild. Because after disaster strikes, the important thing is that you move on. But if you’re like me, you just keep chasing the storm. The problem with chasing the storm is that it wears you down, breaks your spirit. Even the experts agree, a girl needs closure.”

With edgier and more adult content, Veronica Mars is cussin’ back with Mr. Sparky (her taser) in her hand and dusting the wreckage off her shoulders. The private eye achieves her closure, and we are left with enough hope that Mars Investigations will soon be back in business.

#veronica mars #vm spoilers #veronica mars S4 #veronica mars S4 reviews

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