#nepeta voice acting

[spac3-vinni3]

Homestuck dub in 2024???? more likely than you think!!!!!!!!!!

Closed temporarily.

Hey there homestucks!!!! i am thinking of making my very own homestuck dub!!!!! but in order to have a new dub i am gonna need voice actors!!!! just dm me @ini_vinnie on discord asking for one of these characters with a audio clip of you voicing said character here is the list:

Narrator: Me :33

KIDS BOTH BETA AND ALPHA

John/june: waiting on voice clip

Rose: @mulchergeist on discord

Dave: @Bana_biohazard on discord.

Jade: @sugar_rave_rabbit

Jane: free

Dirk: @nyazzy.wad on discord

Roxy: waiting on audio

Jake: free

TROLLSSS (dancestors included)

Karkat: @chewychows

Kankri: free

Aradia: pending voice

Damara: free

Tavros: free

Rufioh: free

sollux: free

Mituna: free

Nepeta: free

Meulin: @auenknown on disc

Kanaya: @aeroargonic on discord.

Porrim: free

Terezi: me >:]

Latula: @auenknown on disc

Vriska: @sunnyskulls on discord

Aranea: free

Equius: free

horuss: free

Gamzee: @spoopybois903 on disc

Kurloz: @spoopybois903 on disc

Eridan: @spoopybois903 on disc

Cronus: @bardofhope on discord

Feferi: free

Meenah: free

CHERUBS

Calliope: free

Caliborn: free

ALL OTHERCHARACTERS WITH A VOICE I CANT BE BOTHERED TYPING: FREEEEEEE

I will edit this when voices get taken!!!!!

also just letting you know i am a minor and if you aren't comfortable with that do not audition.

Thanks!!!!

[psiimaid]

there is still time to audition for the beta troll roles in the one of our submarines audio drama project :) (+ the helmsmen after that! exciting!) which you should totally do if you are interested in voice acting for a fanfic audio adaptation it's so cool. or go read one of our submarines here on ao3 and then come back :))

[numberonesnarkfan]

did another one of these since I improved my setup. These are super fun.

[abagoflaysclassic]

Welcome to Homesweet Raspberry [16+] !!

Homesweet Raspberry [16+] is a discord server for Homestuck fans who want to try Voice Acting, or just to hang out!! We are a safe space for any shipping and headcanon preferences you may have! Free from toxicity and drama <3

[lavender-teardroplettes]

….I found some edits and art from my old blog from friends I haven’t talked to or seen in years and part of me wants to post them just to say, “Hey, thanks for all the great times guys. Idk if you’ll see this ever, but I hope you’re doing well”- so, I am. Thanks for the support and hanging out with the weirdo I was and still am lol, and thanks for the memories.

[mrslugdemon-voice-acts]

[weirdmageddon]

gimme your case for liking arquiussprite, genuinely curious

he’s just such a weirdo maniac that it’s funny, like i have no words when it comes to that dude he really is a character that just leaves you stunned. i would hate being around him irl but hes so bizarre that i cant help but i appreciate him as a character for that

also side note, i fuckin love how voxus brought his manic energy to life with their voice acting

i think it comes down to the fact that his outlook isn’t miserable, he loves being alive and that alone makes a character more tolerable to me. he doesn’t give a fuck about how he comes off aside from his language, which compared to literally everything else about him seems like such a trivial issue. but that in of itself adds a lot of character. and the way he mixes formal and casual words to create this odd dialect that just tickles my brain. like you cant deny he IS entertaining.

he actually has good judgment and speaks only facts

ARQUIUSPRITE: 100k at me. I needed to merge a sweaty guy who loves horses in order to be happy

ARQUIUSPRITE: Gosh d***** horses Dirk

ARQUIUSPRITE: I think about them all the time while I fle% and it makes me smile

^ this is so awesome. good for him

the equius part of him really still cares about nepeta and its like…aw. also “sir/peon” fucking LOL

dont see this talked about much, if at all but, he gets real important shit done for the session by himself which is pretty cool. the genesis frog needs the grist hoard to grow. everyone say thank you arquiusprite. also the fact that sprites can control the game directly without server/client is pretty damn cool? i dont remember seeing that before this

oh and also this is legendary

basically this post yeah. certified awesome Phreak

[karkapricious]

blogging my first read through of homestuck

on act 6 act 2. page 4455. vriskas the worst, hot take i know. here are me voice head cannons so far:

john: clarence

dave: mordecai

jade: mabel pines

rose: daria

jane: applejack

roxy: sam puckett

terezi: peridot

tavros: morty

vriska: karma jojo siwa

karkat: dipper

kanaya: pearl (steven universe)

eridan: waluigi

sollux: marshall lee

aradia: classic velma

gamzee: jake the dog

nepeta: pinkie pie

equius: mischief (interface webseries)

jaspersprite: bing bong (inside out)

nannasprite: muriel (courage the cowardly dog)

narration and andrew hussie: shaggy

will update with further developments

[catgirl-catboy]

What are some interactions you wish we couldve gotten/seen more of in Homestuck? And if we had gotten those interactions, what do you think they'd be like?

So many:

It felt like John's place in Dave's whole arc was completely forgotten about. Like, Dave growing past a need for John's approval doesn't mean the narrative shouldn't care about it. Maybe this should have gone to Davesprite, but...

More Rose-Jade interaction in general. I love them both as characters, and the lack of the dynamic really hurts the worldbulding in my mind. Friendship is such a big thing in Homestuck... except these two members of the group that talked like twice.

We get some of this with Roxy, but if even half of the narrative attention of John-Dad and Dave-Bro got paid to Rose-Mom, I'd die a happy nerd.

TLDR: I love Rosemary as much as the next sapphic, but I feel like Rose is underutilized as a character outside of it.

Also, more Meowrails. Act 5's pacing as a whole is funky, and its especially clear with these two. My read on them as a whole is "Equius is CORRECT, but he's being toxic about it because he's 13 and has some classism to unlearn." but we can't have them go from "Nepeta is afraid to voice her opinion" to "unproblematic OTP in a pile" in like 2 conversations.

Either some Terezi-Tavros interactions, or a lampshade hung on the lack of them. Either way could work for Terezi's character, but they both say very different things.

[kayforpay]

oh man. would love to see ur take on Karkat arguing that Gamzee should even be allowed to _live_ on Earth C....

It was always awkward to have to ask someone to speak on your behalf. If not for Karkat's wary first approach, Gamzee simply wouldn't have asked at all; what he had done, even if it wasn't entirely under his control, wasn't something he would forgive.

He had liked Nepeta, appreciated Terezi, and tolerated Equius. He wouldn't forgive someone else, even if they didn't have foggy memories of monsters that sounded like his friends, that looked like eels moving under their skin, and the desperate need to eradicate them.

But Karkat was, like usual, better than he was.

Waking up in control of his body was a shock. He had spent days curled on his side, struggling to keep even liquids down and in more pain than he could recognize. How had he detoxed without feeling it? Every nerve in his body was burning for a wipe, and he didn't even try to contact anyone. The fact that he had come through the end of the game wasn't even on his mind until he realized that the hive he was in had windows that didn't have automated shades.

Before that, he had hoped that the entire ordeal was a dayterror.

Then, almost immediately after he was aware enough to realize what had happened, Karkat let himself in. Reddish tears streamed down his face as he collapsed next to Gamzee's pathetic pile, his voice hushed as he gripped Gamzee's horns almost painfully to force him to look up.

"You're alive. Thank the stupid fucking human god. You're alive." He had pressed his forehead to Gamzee's own, had cupped his cheeks, and shook with emotion. "I'm so glad. I was so worried, Gamzee. I was so scared, I thought you were-- I thought you didn't win with us."

Gamzee had put a hand on Karkat's cheek (no way he could have known how warm his skin was in real life, how different it would feel when his body was his own again, how soft) and finally let himself cry.

The next month, since the humans insisted on taking over calendars and the world was more human than troll, consisted of everyone getting their footing again. The ones who had reached god-tier were still there, but he didn't actually know if that counted him or not. He wasn't privy to what he did, in the long gaps when Aranea had smothered his consciousness under a sickening blue blanket. For all he knew, he was faking the entire time, just for her amusement.

After that, once everyone found each other again, since the game had seen fit to mix sessions and revive everyone for, presumably, some kind of fucked-up bonus prize, Gamzee was immediately on the outside. He didn't blame them. Nepeta and Terezi were terrified of him; Equius was disgusted with both Gamzee and himself, and seemed more ashamed than anything when their eyes would meet.

Karkat told him, clearly, that they would start over. That he needed to "get to know the real Gamzee", that they couldn't just step back in now that they weren't wrigglers. It made sense, and Gamzee did his best not to act like they were close (though it was hard, when Karkat would come over and end up in his lap to cuddle). Even so, Karkat tried to defend him.

"The problem wasn't Gamzee. The problem didn't-- He didn't fucking kill anyone until the mind control got to him. Before that, he wasn't hurting people." He said, standing up from the awkward meal they were sharing with Kanaya, her human wife, Vriska and Terezi. "If we're going to punish him for having been mind controlled, are we gonna punish Terezi? Or Vriska, for doing it?"

Gamzee looked at the plate in front of him and swallowed. It was silent, awkward, but Kanaya had brought up the fact that she couldn't blame anyone for being uncomfortable. "Kar, you don't gotta do this. It's okay." He tried to speak more softly than before, not just for privacy, but because he made people flinch when he was too loud.

"It isn't! It isn't fucking okay, Gamzee! I-- I know you! I knew you, and you wouldn't do that. You won't do it again." He turned his entire body, and tried to hold back more tears as he continued. "It isn't fair for just you to be punished. I fucked up too. We all fucked up. Kanaya has a fucking hole in her stomach, Sollux is blind... I don't know what to do about the Beforans."

He moved slowly, putting a hand on Karkat's shoulder. "I'll be okay, bro. I'm okay. I'm just so motherfuckin' happy I got to be in my body again at all." It was a lie, but he was better at lying than Karkat was, and he didn't think anyone noticed.

"I won't." Karkat said, glancing to the table and then back. "I won't be okay without you. I can't do it again. You're not allowed to go before me, so don't be fucking stupid and try it. I'm the mutant, I die first."

Carefully, Kanaya cleared her throat. "I... Don't want to interrupt. But I don't think anything can be decided immediately. Maybe some ground rules?" Her eyes settled on Rose, apparently looking for support.

"I think that would help." Rose said, much more cocksure than most of the humans Gamzee had seen. She seemed like she meant it. "As long as Gamzee can remain sober, and can meet with... Someone, maybe Vriska?" She met Vriska's eyes, and they both nodded. "To make sure that you do, and that Aranea isn't influencing you again, well... That's somewhere to start, isn't it?"

He nodded, and Terezi fake-coughed, loud enough to make Karkat jump. "I mean, I think that's fine. Like Karkat said, we all fucked up. It isn't like we can just let one weird fucking clown go around but not the other. And Gamzee isn't trying to sew anything shut." She cackled, but Gamzee remembered, though it was brief, how she sounded when sincere, and it seemed to match.

Nothing set in stone. Someone probing his mind all the time, but not controlling it, at least. And the chance to be alive, in control, again. That wasn't nothing. That was more than he let himself hope for.

[davekat-sucks]

Thoughts in Solfef?

Sort of bittersweet. When you think about it, Sollux and Feferi got together just after ARADIABOT EXPLODED. Sollux had to watch his girlfriend die again. It didn't help that she was mostly taken/preoccupied by Equius, who built a robot body for her and was using her to smooch on (and god knows that Equius even built a programming chip to to try and force Aradia to have feelings for him). With the voices from the grave as a Doom player, telling him that everyone will soon die. At that moment, Sollux just... gave up. He can't do anything but accepted that things will just go as it is. Maybe to fool himself, he accepted Feferi's comfort despite knowing she will die soon. Any means to fake that small bit of happiness was enough to keep him sane. Some can see Feferi being genuine on feeling sorry for Sollux on losing someone. But another can view Feferi's fondness for Sollux is just as similar to how she wants to care for the cuttlefish, coddling the ill and sick until they get better. She had known Sollux for a moment when he helped her get into Sgrub and was immediately fond of him. One may think she would have cast aside the hemospectrum aside, but it is shown through chats like with Jade and Eridan herself, that she still holds some position of power, even after leaving Alternia and Karkat being the one to mostly lead the others. Maybe she had been genuine once she saw how Sollux was depressed after Aradia died. But after she died, Sollux seemingly just left her for Aradia. They barely had interacted when they died besides that moment where Sollux just get picked up by a Feferi and Nepeta in that ship moment during Act 6. It wouldn't be until as Erisolsprite pre-retcon, that he would have some guilt with Eridan for letting Feferi die. But by Post Retcon, Erisolsprite may have existed, but Fefpetasprite wouldn't be there. So Sollux wouldn't really have that kind of closure with Feferi ever again. By Epilogues and Beyond Canon/HS2, he is trapped in the Candy Timeline thanks to Aradia leaving him. Ghosts from the Dream Bubbles were shown to have traveled over to this timeline, as we see in Epilogues between an Eridan and Feferi having the 'redemption arc' under Gamzee. We don't know if it's the same Feferi we had seen, but a version of her is there. Does Sollux know that ghost versions of his friends are still around? Does he not bother to meet them after going into hiding? Karkat is the only other living friend now and he just wants him to deliver him a Happy Meal? I feel bad for Feferi for being so discarded in that sense. SolFef could probably work, but the way it has been set up like this makes me think it is fucked up that they were together like this.

[iggykoopa666]

i just really do not know how 2 interact with gays under 20 anymore. they all act like 2014 tumblr kinnies except in real life. and i dont know how to pretend to entertain that shit at all i just cannot make myself take any of it seriously. had an interaction tonight with an 18 y/o who said basically gave me like their whole carrd profile introduction but in vocal form. unironically said "haha... people call me (airquotes) 'delulu' when i say i dont belong on this planet...." in like the most cartoonishly rehearsed welcome to my twisted mind ass voice and i immediately checked out of the conversation. also in this circumstance they were talking about kinning nepeta leijon, except wen i was like "haha kinning :)" ghey go no its NOT kinning though it's real (their words). and ok ok maybe im being a little mean cuz truly like. watever yknow its just teenage bullshit its fine.. thats all fine and good. i just do not know how to interact with that at all. it's like shit i did when i was 16 on tumblr but now i have to talk to those people in real life.

[hegoeshardasfuck]

definitely just friends

wordcount: 2.9K

tags: fluff and smut, semi-public sex, living together, crossdressing, biting, highschool bathroom sex, fingering, human/troll society, they're mature in Troll years but in human years they should be in school, porn with some plot

synopsis: Eridan and Karkat are roommates, they go to human school, they share a bed, they're perfect friends, a little bit of spiked punch probably can't change the just friends bit.

note: erikar go brrrrrrrr, i love it when a twink in a dress dominates a short dude, it makes my brain happy. hope ya'll enjoy and if ya do considering dropping a like or checking the Ao3 port.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/42964926

Eridan Ampora and Karkat Vantas have been living together for three months now.

They shared a small apartment, the rest of the Trolls on the same floor as well. It was in the middle of a small city that a lot of Trolls have integrated into. The locals don't seem to mind them at all, some are willing to learn tradition and display it in small ways as well. The four humans that had moved there with them would've acted as ambassadors if not for cousins of Trolls already existing there.

Of course, tension is high as the need for quadrants slowly dissolves for Trolls and desire to learn about it intensifies for humans. Its awkward as the Trolls explain why the quadrants ever existed to the humans, some of them are disgusted, others intrigued. A good deal of them try so hard to find a way to accommodate for lack quadrant fillers for Trolls, and most succeed.

Which resulted in Sollux finding a new partner to be his Kismesis, leaving Eridan behind completely. Eridans flush crush, who he really says he didn't have one for, has also left him behind for Aradia who has flesh again and can forgive and love. His second choice of Kismesis is already out there vacillitating with Tavros, and he can't handle the lack of concuspicent romance in his life. And even he doesn't really hate Vriska, he wouldn't fuck her if he got paid to do it, and his flush crush, well, that one is already taken by someone.

Eridan hasn't been doing very well since joining earth.

And Karkat has to deal with his stupid brooding the entire time he goes through it even as he deals with his own problems. Dave and John have started dating, giving thanks to him for closing the gap and that they could still be friends. His Kismesis and Matesprit alike now lost in an endless romance between each other and hes a third wheel onxe again. His second idea for flush crush and hated rival have also found new partners, flush crush with Equius and hated rival with Feferi. He didn't really hate Nepeta, or flush for Aradia when he thought about it, he just told himself that he did to make up for lack of intense romance.

Karkats life hasn't been treating him very good either.

And Eridan feels he has to deal with his annoying brooding throughout all of it even with his own problems in his life.

But they wouldn't take a different roommate for anything.

All of their friends keep on saying that if its tense they should just get a different roomie and switch with someone. They always say no in a fierce tone, a hiss of protective obsession in their voice as they do so.

They've shared an apartment for so long it would be impossible to just stop at this point.

The soft vibrating hum emitting from gills whenever Eridan sleeps that soothed Karkats insomnia riddled nights. The nubby horns digging into his back because of Karkat being impatient for affection. The sheer terror on Eridans face whenever Karkat starts cooking anything on the stovetop. The sleep talking declarations of loving each other after getting blankets yanked or kicks in the back. And the teasing jokes and jabs at how stupid their crushes are for leaving a Troll as perfect as the other.

Without any of that…

There would be nothing worth waking up for.

And they can't see that.

It took their friends a while, but eventually they noticed the subtle signs even they are ignorant to.

During parties they always idle at each others sides or even go so far as dancing together sometimes in non formal areas. When they all go eat out only one needs to order as they know for each other and get defensive if an order is messed up. If they ever head to a big city on vacation or just for a short visit their arms are always intertwined so they don't get lost.

Sure, it isn't subtle, but they don't realize just how important they are to each other.

Misery loves company their friends supposed.

And they still all had one last year of human school, so they attended it for the last few months. None of them learned anything they didn't already know, except for Terezi who learned about the legal system. It was a very stressful place on earth and their four human friends helped them coast from class to class day to day as the survived.

Then prom was revealed.

A big ass fucking dance that was formal, it had a dress code of something nice and a ruleset of no alcohol, drugs or sex.

All the Trolls where beyond sure that at least two of those rules got broken each year, Dave nodded solemnly at the statement. Dave explained prom to the best of his ability with the help of his human friends and the Trolls all nodded along.

And then Dave explained that a partner was a necessity, that had Karkat and Eridan freezing, the rest already had one, and they didn't. Sure they could go as friends as a last resort, but they were two guys, that still isn't really a thing on earth. They bartered with Dave and the principal and teachers alike as to allowing gay couples into the prom, or a pair of affectionate friends at least, they all said it was unheard of.

Fine then.

Be that way teaching system.

Eridan was a lot more furious than Karkat who was fine not going cause they had no partners, Eridan wanted to go so bad though. They couldn't say they were gay, not allowed, and they couldn't go as friends either. Luckily, Eridan made a very convincing lady, all it took was a change of glasses and a purple dress and he was golden, effeminate already.

Now, shockingly enough despite all the time they spend together, Karkat had never seen Eridan in a dress.

So when the Violet blood walked out of the bathroom, he had Karkat sputtering.

"Well, pretty convincing right?" Eridan asked, this specific dress a deep purple form fitting at his waist but looser everywhere else, especially his chest, which on the dress he had sewn a small amount of fluff into.

Karkat was speechless, he could barely form a thought as his face burned a bright red. By the time was getting close to forming a thought Eridan did a few twirls to make sure it wouldn't start riding up or the streps start slipping down. It took Karkat a whole minute to form a single sentence.

"You have hips?" Was what Karkat said, it had Eridan grinning.

"Of course I do, I just don't show it off like some whore on their nineth sweep," Eridan stated, rolling his eyes just a little bit as he did so.

"Right, right, quick question," Karkat said, Eridan raised a brow between now almost oval glasses, they were a lot less square and more rounded and sharp at the top corners, like cat eyes, "how come I've never seen you in a dress before?"

"You have, I wear them all the time in public, you just never realized it was me," Eridan explained as he began searching for his extremely short coat, it had three quarter sleeves and was black with his symbol embroidered on the chest pocket.

"Ah, ok, do you know where my suit is?" Karkat asked, looking to the floor, noticing Eridan was wearing light purple lace up sandal-esque shoes that had heels at least an inch thick.

"Yes I know where that pathetic item is, look in your closet, it should be there," Eridan said as he slid on his coat, he made his way to the bathroom next to start doing some light makeup.

"Thanks!" Karkat shouted through the walk to Eridan as he changed, thinking real long and hard about that dress, gog he would look amazing in one of Kanayas old skirts.

Fifteen minutes passed full of witty banter and Eridan correcting how Karkat tucked in his shirt and did his hair and so on. By the time they were finished preparing, Karkat was still a scuzzy little fuck with an effeminate friend who was absolutely slaying. Eridan was a bit disappointed he couldn't convince Karkat to use a single layer of black lip stain as it would make his lips pop more.

But alas, time was up and the clock was ticking and they were on their way down, finding a seemingly fine Bro Strider who was freaking out on the inside as Trolls piled into his truck with extensions. Most of them were in dresses and suits, except for Gamzee who found his cleanest shirt and nicest pants and called it a day, Kanaya just wearing what she always did with a different shirt. Five humans and two Trolls sat in the front end of the truck, ten Trolls piled up and compacted in place like Tetris in the back of the truck.

The drive may have been externally short, but the mix of country, ska and punk blasting from the speakers made it feel longer. The entire ride Bro was gripping the steering wheel beyond tight, if he accidentally fucked up, he could he held accountable for how many deaths? More than he could normally imagine being held accountable for, so he tried to silence chitchat with music.

When they arrived, Bro opened the trunk and a group of Trolls fell to the pavement, rebounding instantly. Everyone gave their prompt thanks to Bro before heading inside, Dave leaving with a short squeeze of a hug.

Now, the dance in itself was chaos.

People fucking everywhere, music so damn loud, the amount of movement, oh fuck it was crazy. All of the Trolls stuck together, most of them breaking into smaller groups until they were separated into pairs of two. Their was dancing, and they danced hard, they were what, eight songs in when two headed to the punch table. Eridan and Karkat, they each grabbed a cup and poured one for each other, clinking glasses. They drank swiftly, and it almost burned on the way down, oh yeah, this was spiked. That fact alone had Eridan going for seconds, Karkat as well, it was fun, it was breaking the rules, they didn't care.

And then, at this point Eridans gills were fluttering as a telltale sign he was starting to get a hit tipsy, a slow song started playing.

The two made eye contact, Karkat holding out a hand that Eridan grabbed as they made their way to the center of the room where every other pair was.

"Can I have this dance?" Karkat asked, it was a stupid question.

"Of course, my good sir," Eridan faked a curtsy as he spoke, giving a soft giggle as he took Karkats hands.

Sure, the song was slow, but it was picking up, and with it, so did Eridan and Karkat. Where most stayed slow even as the song called for flair, the two started going faster. Eventually they had their chests flush against each other and were practically sharing breathes, arms splayed out. Then they continued after a short moment, hitting John and Dave who were trying not to get caught, they didn't make a deal out of it. By the end of it all, Eridan had Karkat dipping to the ground, he was burning up, feisty bitch of a Violet blood. Eridan was grinning as he pulled up Karkat, nearly giggling, he was so flustered, it was just a simple move he learned.

"Oh fuck me," Karkat muttered as he gripped Eridans hand tightly, dragging him away from the crowd, the sight of his face peppered in a booze blush of Violet to much to handle.

"We should tell, one of our friends first," Eridan said as they traversed to the exit of the gymnasium.

"They know someones gonna fuck, this years its us, where did the stalls go?" Karkat questioned as he pulled Eridan out the door and into the near vacant halls where they could find Rose and Kanaya chatting, they almost went to speak before seeing the two of them heading for the washrooms.

"Hook a left," Eridan said as though it was fact.

And Karkat did hook a left, he hooked a left so hard Eridan nearly tripped on his sandals. Karkat threw open the washroom doors, finding some poor fool making use of one of the urinals, they saw and didn't say a word about it. It was Eridan who threw Karkat into the stall, slamming the door shut and their backs pressed against either side with a very small amount of wiggle room.

"I'm sorry," Eridan mumbled, this felt so wrong and so right, a mutant with a Violet, he was saying sorry but why, instinct, a reflex, on Alternia both would be culled.

"Fuck me," was what Karkat said, unable to produce much more as he yanked off his suit pants, bulge staining underwear red already, Eridan hiked up his skirt, tying it in place with a belt and safety pins, his bukge also coming undone.

Eridan gripped Karkats middle, gently lifting him off the ground, Karkat pressed his feet to the wall across from him as he was pressed to the other wall. Oh fuck, this stall is gonna be wrecked, his bulge writhes and oozes red that drips to tile floor below. Eridan grips it, claws digging in slightly, and Karkat moans his sweet moan, so, so perfect. Eridan continues to run his claws along sensitive flesh, dipping barely into the nook as he presses kisses and marks along Karkats neck.

Claws threaten to tear open the black tuxedo as they go to undo buttons and get more skin, its smattered in red due to the amount pumping through Karats blood. Karkats hands are pressed against the stall wall as Eridan fondles him and traces fangs along the soft flesh of his neck, biting and suckling to make a point. He'll be covered in bruises by the end of this, he releases another moan as the base of his bulge is gripped. He cums on the spot, a copious amount of slurry escaping him and staining the floor below.

Eridans bulge is writhing, livid it hasn't gotten any attention yet and the Violet blood is panting as he marks his lover in bites. He digs two fingers into Karkats nook, he nearly shrieks as claws threaten to tear but don't. His insides are velvet soft, and they ooze red, Eridan pumps his fingers and more red slips out between them. The scent alone is delectable, so sweet and intoxicating it has his gills fluttering as he presses closer to Karkat until their chests are against each other again.

Karkats panting and hot breath washes over Eridan as he brings his slurry coated fingers to his lips and sucks off the material. The taste is fine to him, rich and fruity with a hint of metal, he supposes not many others would find it delicious as well. He doesn't care, he brings Karkat in for a kiss, one tongue forked the other not, one of his hands keeps Karkats wrist pressed to the stall, the other guiding bulge into nook. Karkats eyes flutter shut for a moment as he moans into the kiss, Eridans bulge thick in his nook and oozing Violet that drips between their legs to the floor below.

Its perfect, all of this.

Sure, Karkats just a little bit tipsy and not thinking along the lines of Kismesis and Matesprit, or any of those. He doesn't really care though, he just knows this moment is perfect. He's sure Eridan feels the same way as well, but Karkat is mentally blanking to much to make a snide remark.

Getting railed by a femboy in a school bathroom.

His life has peaked.

Eridans grinding into him, hitting deeper and deeper into his nook each time their pelvises meet. And the kiss only gets fiercer, Eridan starts giving bits of bite into the kiss as fangs trade tongue and lip. Karkat, he's fine, his bulge is fucking flailing uselessly, unable to find the nook waiting for penetration, or for a bucket. Eridan ends up gripping Karkats bulge again, this time much more gently as he picks up the pace of his thrusting. Eventually Eridan starts panting as well, velvety tightness, beautiful sounds, glorious sights at his face its all to much to handle.

With a strangled moan, even more Violet and Candy Red slurry gushes to the tile below.

Karkats legs are limp, he's panting like a whore as he tries to regain balance in the stall and pull on his pants. Eridan has a bit more class, he takes a wad of single ply and uses it to clean up his thighs, bulge retreating. The two stumble out of the stall giggling a little bit as they make there way to the sink.

As they wash their hands just for the sake of habit and splash water on their face John and Dave walk in. They're flushed, kissing and biting at each other barely able to keep it together as they stumble into a stall. The stall they stumble into is not the one Eridan and Karkat ruined, they stare at gelatinizing slurry and floor and one wall of the stall, that is a janitors nightmare. The two share a quick look of remorse for the poor janitor whose gonna have to clean up that mess before leaving.

They'll have to do something like that again.

After working out what quadrant they're in.

It's gonna be hard explaining the slurry running down Karkats legs on the ride home.

[gender-mailman]

[ 1dk can you talk about ur Homestuck ocs?🙏/silly ]

OMG OMG OMG OK OK OK SO! For me to talk about them i need to tell you about their universe cause it is diferent from cannon

Só basicly, violet blood is the highest blood colors, theres no fushia, they got extemenated after what happend cause they were too violent

(Posting the image again só you remember who they are)

Ok só! Knowing this! Ill start with our only fushia blood *on earth*, thats right, hes not on alternia, he got teleported to earth some how after the humans (my friends ocs but ill probably do some too later) started their sburb, his lusus is a axollot, before going to earth, he lived hiding, in the image he is showing his blood colors but uh, imagine it being like karkat where is all grey ok? He is a sylph of time that sleeps in prospit

Now going to the bottom of the hemospectro! MY FAV OC EVER! FIRAFE MY GIRL!!!!!! She lives in the top of a mounten cause she loves watching the sun rise, and because of that she always wears long dresses with long sleves só it doesnt burn her, her lusus is a fly, she likes sweeing plushes for her friends, one of the first things she ever did was a scarf for her matesprit (olive blood), she is a witch of life that sleeps in prospit

The bronze one, has a garden on the side of his hive, that got destroyed one time by some high bloods só now he is very paranoid that it will happen again, and is also very scared of every high blood troll cause he thinks they will hurt him, his lusus is a big butterfly, his ex-matesprite now moirail is the golden blood one, wich is not that good at being a moirail either, he is a sylph of doom that sleeps on derse

The golden one is a party goer since, well, he is a DJ, hes lusus is a big two headed snake, he met the bronze blood while going back from a party, he saw his garden destroyed só he jumped the fence and tried his best at helping bronze saw that, got scared, but then noticed that hes friendly so he helped too, at the end he wrote his number on a paper and went to his hive, he is a knight of breath that sleeps on derse

Next we have the olive one! He lives at the bottom of the mounten his matesprit lives, in a forest, he is a progremar, that is not seen as very positive for other trols cause like, he is a olive blood! Gold bloods are better at progreming! (/sar), his lusus is a biped bear cat thing, he has a matesprit as i mationed before, and a kismesis that is the blue blood bastard /silly, he is a mage of blood that sleeps on derse

Then we have our jade blood! He is very friendly and loves his friends ALL OF THEM! He has lots of love tô give, his lusus is a big weezel, he is like nepeta in the way that he likes ships, wich he shares with his moirail, the purple blood, being (in this universe) the true middle blood, he feels like he can take care of everyone no matter blood color só hes like the 'therapist friend' sort of, everyone can count on him, he is a heir of heart that sleeps on prospit

Up next we have my second fav girl! The teal blood, she is kind of the voice of reason of the friend group, her hive is basicly a library, she also loves to read the diaries of her ancestor só she can learn more and try to act like her, she loves star gazing and knows every star name and costelation, she knows about earth, skaya and the moons, her lusus is a phonex, she is ex-moirails with the violet blood and is the auspecist for the olive blood and blue blood, she is a seer of space that sleeps on derse

NOW WE HAVE MY FAV BOY EVER!!! The blue blood bastard!! /silly he lives on a cave on a forest near his kismesis só when hes lusus is angry at him and lets him out of his hive (no matter if is day or night) he goes to his hive and disturbes him, making fun when the olive blood makes a typo on his program and saying things like "youL°LL°L never be a good programer i°if you keep doi°ing thi°is" he is also a hacker só he sometimes makes viruses and send them to the olive blood for funsies, his lusus is a big bat and he is a thief of rage that sleeps on derse

Up next we have the indigo blood! She is a blacksmith that make real swords and decorative swords, she also sometimes makes jewlery, her lusus is a deer, everything she makes she gives it tô her friends, she is very friendly and physically strong, as one of the highest bloods of her friend group, she feels like she needs to protect them, seeing the trolls under her as weak without meaning to, she is a rogue of light that sleeps on prospit

Now we have the purple blood! The jokester! The memer! He is up to date with all the memes from alternia and earth, he also likes to juggle active booms and get hurt with it most of the time if he doesnt throw them at time, he loves to joke around with his moirail making pranks on their friends, he want to make violent pranks but doesnt cause his moirails stops him, hes lusus is a lhama and he is a page of void that sleeps on prospit

Now! The last one! The violet blood is the ruler of (this universes) alternia, she loves glitter and shiny things, she doesnt have a lot of time to spend with her friends cause she doesnt know how to manage her time with things, and because of that she lost her (now ex) moirail, she always worry about whats to come, her lusus is a snake squid thing and she is a mage of time that sleeps on derse

THERE! I TALKED ABOUT ALL OF THEM!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

Yeah! I agree with most of this, and I am in fact a Feferi/Kanaya defender, but I am actually going to go to bat for them doing things at least a little out of cruelty/self-interest, because I find the fandom skews too lenient toward them overall.

Feferi is an outright hypocrite around Eridan, and given that she's smart enough not to let the mask slip around other trolls, I have to assume she's aware of it.

With Eridan:

CC: T)(is is t)(e last time I will say t)(is. CC: W-E AR-E NOT B-ETT-ER T)(AN ANYBODY!!!!! CC: GLUB. >38(

With Jade:

CC: I will suspend my neato quirk just for you. CC: I hereby renounce the royal mark of sea dweller supremacy in the interest of INT-ERSP-ECI-ES DIPLOMACY.

[...]

CC: Okay, you win. I have officially humbled myself before you. Entirely glubbing peasant-IFICATED for your pleasure. CC: Shall I clip my fins for you as well, your majesty?

Just to be clear, I agree that the fundamental problem with Feferi and Eridan is incompatability - Feferi just doesn't "get" him or understand his issues. She does make a genuine effort to reach out to him and act like a good moirail, and I believe she's being at least somewhat genuine when she says that she didn't break up with him sooner because she was worried he would hurt somebody or himself.

But, like, let's not kid ourselves here, she IS a casteist - moreso than Eridan by a massive margin - and is able to write off those orphaned kids in a way he can't. Confirmed by Hussie's book commentary, Feferi knew from her mom's prophesying that all the other trolls were going to die because they chose to play SGRUB anyway, which made it easy for her to not give a shit about using them to feed her lusus. Presumably, she shared this with Eridan, who woke up on Derse early and whom Feferi does genuinely care about to some extent, and for SOME REASON it didn't make him feel better.

Both the fact that their failed relationship was mostly due to Feferi genuinely not knowing how to help Eridan with his mental illness, and the fact that she probably did get some kind of ego boost/was deliberately stringing him along for his usefulness, can be simultaneously true. Homestuck is full of lovely nuances like this. Feferi isn't a bad guy, and she's not even particularly wicked to Eridan, but she IS kind of a callous, two-faced, casteist Mean Girl when she's at her worst (she loves to use slurs and mean them lmao), and that affects the way she treats him.

And if the rest of the team wasn't aware of Gl'bgolyb before SGRUB, they were hyperaware of Gl'bgolyb after - her being prototyped turns the underlings skyscraper-sized, and Hussie speculates in the book commentary about how many of her psychic abilities they inherited down the line, which required the psionics of the team to suppress during the Black King fight. I can't imagine, given the logistical threat her prototyping presented, that the topic of her feeding and placation never came up - especially because Feferi and Kanaya actually discuss it before the game:

CC: T)(oug)( I guess it will be a relief not to )(ave to worry about keeping )(er voice down anymore! GA: I Wonder If Any Other Kid On The Planet Has As Many Burdens In The Fire As You

So, even if it somehow never came up while the team was discussing what to do about all these damn enemies suddenly being massive and capable of inflicting psychic damage, the one other person on the team we can say FOR SURE knew about her feeding schedule is Kanaya. (It's also funny you mention Nepeta specifically, as she was actually Eridan's client player, so they actually must've had a ton of conversations offscreen.)

So Kanaya really doesn't have any excuses here. She knew that Eridan was under the exact same pressures as Feferi, but chooses to show him none of the sympathy she offers Feferi. Despite the fact that she's clearly sick of Eridan's ass, she still entertains him when he talks to her, letting him think of her as a close friend, and still makes him that science wand (as a joke) - something Hussie regularly calls her out for in the book commentary as part of her larger problem of being an enabler.

And if you really look back on Kanaya's journey, "enabler" is one of the biggest issues she causes - she enables Vriska, literally refusing to tell her to stop doing bad things & building up Tavros only so Vriska can tear him down again. She lets Rose's drinking problem and their codepedency persist far beyond what would be reasonable to allow. She lets Feferi have a space where Feferi can agree that Eridan is a burden to her, without ever encouraging her to break up with him or see things from his point of view.

And it's not just her enabling habit - she also has a tendency, shared with the story's other Sylph, to just kind of...stop caring about people. When she catches Vriska kissing Tavros, she decides she wants nothing more to do with them, which isn't just kind of unfair to Vriska (who didn't know Kanaya was red for her), but also terrifically unfair to Tavros, who wasn't even a particularly willing participant. She also decides that it's totally chill and cool to kill Gamzee, which is of a more debatable justifiability, but it's still worth noting that she generally places her own desire to kill him over the fact that Karkat is literally the dude's moirail, speaking to a selfishness on her part. And then, just as simply, she decides the moment has passed, and no longer gives a shit about him. And her bullying of Eridan is never framed as anything BUT that - she literally redflirts with Rose by mocking Eridan with her.

GA: He Will Hunt You Down And Goodness And Hope Will Prevail TT: Is it too late to throw myself at your mercy? GA: Yes Its Much Too Late For That

[...]

GA: Wait I Hope That Wasnt Too Emphatic GA: Maybe At This Point I Should Clarify This Is All A Big Joke

[...]

GA: The Gesture Of Hostility In This Case Was The Joke GA: I Did In Fact "Train" This Character GA: I Made Him A Wand To Shut Him Up TT: Wait, you did? Really? GA: He Wouldnt Stop Harassing Me For Your "Secrets" TT: That's incredible. Well done.

Like bro the girls are bullying himmmm 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

The thing is, callousness and casual cruelty from these two, especially as it pertains to Eridan, are in fact character flaws for both characters that add nuance and depth to them. Feferi isn't just friendly optimistic princess troll - she's a hypocrite who pretends to be less casteist than she is, clever enough not to show it around the other trolls, and she's also fully capable of not giving a shit about others dying if it suits her purposes, and genuinely doesn't seem to understand why Eridan can't do the same. And Kanaya isn't just nice all-loving team mom troll - she's actually constantly deciding that some people just don't matter to her, so it's totally cool to string them along and mock them (to their faces, even, as she does to Eridan in [S] Kanaya: Return to the Core), and also perfectly comfortable with others dying if it suits her desires.

This doesn't erase their positive attributes, or the genuinely kind things they do do for others - rather, it shows that people are people, and people are flawed, and that even people that one could broadly call "nice" or "good" are capable of some downright reprehensible cruelty if they believe themselves to be justified enough.

And I think that's beautiful. I love women's wrongs.

Murder, Love, and Destiny: An Eridan Ampora Character Study

Warnings for things from Homestuck, like discussions of child abuse, mental illness, murder, suicide, etc. etc.

Because there's a huge wall of text after this point, I'm going to summarize what I hope to convince you of in bullet point format, and then hope you'll actually read the rest of the text before arguing with me about it.

Eridan is the least casteist highblood, if you ignore all the slurs.

Those are his emotional support slurs.

Pale EriKar was not only canon, but set up to be endgame.

Eridan is incredibly plot-relevant, thematically relevant, and was definitely originally intended to be brought back to life, alongside the other dead trolls.

He's Sad.

The first thing we have to establish is what counts as "canon" for the purpose of this essay. I am only counting the original comic up to Game Over, after which there's a general consensus that Hussie kind of gave up on his original planned ending, and slapped together something that most people hate. So I am immediately disqualifying Pesterquest, supplementary material, fanworks deemed canon, the epilogues, and Homestuck^2.

Moreover, we are taking Hussie's commentaries with a grain of salt, for two reasons. The first reason is that I firmly believe - and will be arguing - that the original plan was to bring Eridan (and the other dead trolls) back; therefore, Hussie (who has a track record of playing coy with future plot twists) can't speak too fondly of him, lest he give it away. The second reason for de-emphasizing Hussie's words is that, post-retcon, Hussie isn't very well going to say that he had plans for a better ending, and then didn't execute on them; to save face, he has to act as though his trashing of several prior plot threads, including but not limited to Eridan, was the plan all along.

Therefore, this essay will not be putting too much emphasis on Word of God, and will instead be relying on textual evidence from the comic itself, of which there is plenty. So without further ado:

Eridan is a Consummate Murderer.

The reason I'm starting with this point is that, far more than any other, this truth lies at the core of his being. Eridan is formally introduced to us with a murder, and he's haunted by an overpowering genocide complex. He outright describes to Rose at one point that "killin is all i evver done practically," and uses "murder" as an expletive (ie "swweet stinkin murder"). With a conservative estimate of 5 kills per week for 4 sweeps (Vriska looks VERY young when she has to start killing, and Eridan was likely a similar age when he began), both Eridan and Vriska easily have bodycounts above 2000 - the real number is probably even higher.

At this point, many raise an objection that Eridan is only killing lusii, but I believe we need to count his kills as troll murders, for three reasons: first, a dead lusus results in the orphaned troll being culled; second, one has to assume he has had cases of trolls trying to defend their lusii, or coming after him for vengeance; and third - and most importantly - Eridan HIMSELF is thinking about the orphaned trolls.

Compare Feferi: Go Home:

That should keep her happy for a while. At least until she dies.

To Eridan: Go Home:

That should keep her happy for a while. And make a freshly orphaned troll somewhere very sad.

So Eridan, to a much greater extent than even Feferi, is thinking about the orphaned trolls he's leaving behind, and considers his own actions to be murder.

Now that we've established the facts regarding his murders - a rough bodycount, and the fact that, by his own admission, he barely had any hobbies outside of it - we can move on to the effect that it's had on him. It's not very good!

Vriska's manipul8tions and murders had to be done for her own sake - if she ever stopped, she died. Therefore, much of Vriska's personality revolves around justifying her own actions so she doesn't have to reckon with her softer feelings, like guilt or kindness - which she expresses would be viewed as scandalous by others of her caste.

But if Eridan ever stops feeding Gl'bgolyb, everybody dies. The stakes he has riding on his shoulders are, at all times, the fate of all trolls, including all his friends. Given Dualscar's title was "Orphaner," it's implied that killing lusii for Gl'bgolyb has always been a violet blood's duty, and is seen as such by the others, which is why nobody expresses gratitude for his hard work even a single time.

Which brings us to our next point:

Eridan is Crushed by Anxiety.

If Eridan stops killing lusii, everybody - especially his friends, but everybody else, too - dies.

If Eridan ever shows guilt or kindness, he'll be considered "weak" by the standards of highbloods - he shares this with Vriska.

Eridan is expected, by aristocratic tradition, to take on the mantle of his ancestor Dualscar and finish his work. Dualscar met a comedically cringefail end, so this is a massive undertaking.

Before finding out that god tiering is an option - so, for nearly his entire life - Eridan has had to live with the expectation that he will outlive all of his friends. The lowbloods from culling or dying on the battlefield, the highbloods from old age, and Feferi from being killed by the Empress when she gets old enough.

(This is reflected in who he talks to the most - Feferi, who's the only one with a natural lifespan longer than his, Vriska, who's a highblood, Kanaya, who's practically guaranteed to survive into adulthood, and Karkat, whose anonblood allows Eridan to give him the benefit of the doubt.)

Also if he can't land his concupiscent quadrants he'll die from that too, but that seems pretty secondary to the rest of his concerns.

He can't even make friends with the other highbloods, because sea dwellers are expected to hate and antagonize them.

He had a free ticket into adulthood, but would almost certainly be expected to join the army and serve as a commander. That is to say, his fate of performing the role of a vicious, murderous sea dweller seems dreadfully inevitable to him.

NO WONDER he can't stop having emotional breakdowns. NO WONDER his chatlogs swing wildly from relentless self-aggrandizement to traumadumping. NO WONDER he's obsessed with murder and death and genocide.

Doc Scratch calls him a "vengeful boy on the path of nihilism," and it's not hard to see why: Eridan's entire life has been about living up to the role imposed on him by society, sacrificing his own time and sanity for everyone else, which he "nevver got any appreciation for anywway." And all he had to look forward to was more of the same, all his friends dropping dead one by one before him. For Eridan, there has never been any hope.

SGRUB could have been a way out for him, but a combination of his own terrible choices, spurred on by his anxieties, and his teammates' unwillingness to knock some sense into him, meant that he only wound up mired even deeper in his hopelessness.

We all know about how Eridan wouldn't stop killing the angels on his planet, provoking their aggression and turning it into a ball of death. How he was definitely not supposed to be doing this, and how his stubborn insistence on it led to his further ostracization from the rest of the group. The thing is, when we look at his angel-murders from the point of view that Eridan's entire life has been about murdering things or else Something Bad™ happens, it actually starts to become... kind of sad.

KARKAT: BETWEEN A TRIGGERHAPPY PRINCE WITH A GOD WEAPON BLASTING ANYTHING THAT TWITCHED AND A MILLION CRAZED ANGELS HE DELIBERATELY ENRAGED, IT WASN'T WHAT I'D CALL AN IDEAL SOCIAL HUB. KARKAT: IF YOU WERE LONELY WHY DIDN'T YOU VENTURE OUT MORE OFTEN? ERIDAN: wwell i wwoulda but nobody else wwas vvolunteerin to pick up the slack on angel killin duties

Killing the angels is something he feels like his has to do, because his entire life has been about killing things he doesn't want to kill. He's unable to break out of that mindset on his own, and his unpleasant personality has scared off anyone who might want to help. No one on the team tries to understand his thought process on a deeper level, not even Karkat, who just tells him it was an idiotic thing to do without addressing his underlying anxieties at all. Indeed, "nobody understands."

And this is really the root of why I think so many people get the wrong read on Eridan - Eridan is constantly contradicting himself, constantly denying his own feelings, constantly pushing an image that he doesn't actually believe in, and constantly insisting that he's fine with all the horrible shit in his life - that he likes it, even. After all, he can't admit to his guilt for his murders, or how much he doesn't want to watch his friends die, or how scared he is about the future - that'd be weakness!

CC: I can't look after you anymore. CA: I DIDNT EVER NEED ANYONE TO LOOK AFTER ME CA: i was totally fuckin fine my ambitions were noble

You see his contradictory nature with his stated love of history, which he only ever offhandedly mentions - because he's not actually that interested in history, it's just something that's expected of someone of his station. And you see it with his wavy accent, which he himself calls "weird" and drops when he's trying to be emotionally sincere. And you see it with his dumbass outfit, which is very clearly an imitation of Dualscar (with the only exception being the wizard-ass scarf, because wizards are his actual interest. I don't believe he likes fashion. I genuinely believe - and Eridan himself says so - that he basically has no hobbies outside of murder).

Even being proud to be a sea dweller is pretty much an outright lie:

CC: You can't )(ave t)(e sort of affinity for "our kind" t)(at you profess if you've only spent, w)(at... CC: A few days underwater, maybe? IN YOUR W)(OL-E LIF-E!

One that he tells because he's SCARED OF THE OCEAN. Because he knows what lives in the ocean, because he's been feeding it his entire life. I see a lot of people who give Eridan an interest in marine life, and I'm telling you, that's just got no basis in canon. He's fucking TERRIFIED of the sea.

And for that matter, land dweller genocide. Eridan doesn't want to do it. Both Feferi AND his internal narration call him out for not actually wanting to do it. He outright states he wouldn't kill his friends.

CA: wwell CA: im not goin to vvery wwell kill you am i that wwould be fuckin unconscionable CA: wwhat kind of friend wwould i be

But he feels like he HAS to want it, HAS to believe in it, HAS to be talking about it constantly, because that's what's expected from him as a sea dweller, and a sea dweller is ALL that he will get to be. The mutation that puts a violet streak in his hair is damning. It's a fate he feels like he can't escape. Which brings us to:

Eridan is Not Actually Casteist, Well He Is But Not Like That, It's Complicated

Secondary title: Those Are His Emotional Support Slurs, Okay

In the exact same vein (haha) as secretly not wanting all the land dwellers dead, Eridan also genuinely doesn't feel like he's better than lower blood castes. Vriska and Equius obviously put quite a bit of stock into being nobility, and both have acted superior to Karkat for it. Feferi actually revels in her high status, and while she is genuinely well-meaning, she's not as interested in abolishing casteism as she is in changing the meaning of "culling" specifically (the hemocaste, aristocracy, and casteism still very much exist in a Beforus under her rule). Gamzee MIGHT be the only highblood less casteist than Eridan, but then again, as soon as he snaps, he does say a lot of casteist stuff to Equius, although it's unclear how serious he is, and he also proceeds to get really into his weird highblood clown cult.

Meanwhile, Eridan - despite all his slurs and talk of genocide - does not actually try to "pull rank" on a lowblood for being a lower caste than him with a single exception. That exception is Sollux... after he's already shown having entirely caste-neutral opinions on Sollux:

CC: But Sollux finally came t)(roug)(, and now I believe t)(e full c)(ain is complete! CA: man that guy CA: hes a fuckin drama machine it is fuckin pathetic CC: YOUR STUPID FIS)(Y FAC-E IS T)(-E DRAMA MAC)(IN-E T)(AT DO-ES NOT)(ING BUT W)(IN-E AND GLUB. CC: 38P CA: fuck SORRY CC: Anyway you s)(ouldn't say t)(at about )(im, )(e is a )(ero and )(e saved my life. CA: yeah sorry

CA: my feelins seem petty and meaninless noww CA: she had better things to wworry about than my ovverwwrought bullshit CA: like the dead guy wwho savved her CA: so forget it thanks anywway

It's only AFTER he's mad at Sollux for dating Feferi that he starts going in on Sollux with casteist rhetoric... which is treated as unrequited flirting and not serious casteism:

ERIDAN: hey finless this doesnt concern those wwith mustard sludge slippin through their vveins ERIDAN: its a matter for royalty only ERIDAN: so keep your mouth closed or ill slit you open ovver my next meal SOLLUX: w/e bro, not iintere2ted. FEFERI: -Eridan, please! I don't want to see any more dueling. FEFERI: Don't try to provoke )(im. It's not like I don't know w)(at you're doing! You keep trying to spark a rivalry wit)( )(im to get me to auspisticize between you two, and pull us out of our quadrant! FEFERI: It is t)(e oldest and lamest trick in t)(e book. It didn't work t)(en and it won't work now!

THEY don't even think he's being casteist.

In fact, directly contradicting this earlier argument he has with Feferi:

CC: T)(is is t)(e last time I will say t)(is. CC: W-E AR-E NOT B-ETT-ER T)(AN ANYBODY!!!!! CC: GLUB. >38( CA: pshh CA: hemospectrum begs to differ

He OUTRIGHT states his real feelings here:

CA: im the biggest fuckin idiot who ever lived CA: i cant BELIEVE i just opened up to you like a chump when i knew what was comin CA: i am one sad fuckin brinesucker CA: overemotional sappy trash youre right im not better than anybody CA: im worse than anybody CA: EVERYBODY CA: all the bodies

So the question of "is Eridan casteist" has an answer of "kind of, but also no." Eridan DOES espouse the rhetoric; he's constantly saying stuff that a casteist sea dweller "should" be saying. However, if you look at his ACTIONS, and the way he actually treats people, he doesn't actually care about blood color. He'll hit on anybody, and he's rude as fuck to everybody. The real problem with him is that he's terrible to talk to, not that he's discriminatory.

That's the thing about Eridan. Understanding him means looking past the way he presents himself, the lies he tells to himself, and even, at times, the way the narration presents him. His "overblown emotional theatrics" seem a lot less overblown when his problems ARE so real, deep-seated, and constantly causing him an unimaginable amount of anguish.

The problem is, the main people he has to bounce those problems against are Feferi, Vriska, and Kanaya, three of the people most comfortable with their privileged positions, for whom Eridan's genuine emotional distress seems like needless melodrama. Feferi loves being a princess, Vriska enjoys her noble privileges, Kanaya doesn't need to worry about culling. But for Eridan, his noble status, and the duties and expectations placed on him for it, have caused him nothing but pain - of course he would feel like nobody understands. Most of his closest friends genuinely don't, nor do they try to.

Because that's what he is at his core - a traumatized fucking child, who doesn't see any way out. Eridan is not a casteist genocidal sea dweller... he just wishes he was one, and tries to be one, because if he actually was one, he wouldn't feel so awful and scared and sad all the time. He'd be normal, like his friends.

The reason he constantly spouts anti-land dweller rhetoric and uses casteist language is to assuage this cognitive dissonance. That's why he has to come off so strong, present himself in such an aggrandized way, act like such a douchebag. They're his emotional support slurs. He doesn't actually believe what he says, which means he's a Bad Sea Dweller, which means he's Failing, which means Something Bad Will Happen, so he'd better get his ass in line and say something casteist!

And it's all made worse because:

Eridan is Dumb of Ass (and True of Word)

Oh my god you guys he's so stupid that it hurts.

Okay, that's not entirely fair. Eridan is clearly well-educated and book smart; he has some of the most elegant prose out of the trolls, and he's prone to going off on insane rants with it. (Actually, his language gets more flowery and showy when he's trying to impress a stranger, and gets progressively more laid back, chill, and even kind of "bro"-y when he starts talking to people he doesn't feel like he needs to impress.)

CA: at this point i find all her adorable black pixie dabblins to be prime kiddie playtime shit CA: all of her FRAUDULENT MAGICS cannot come close to posin threat to my mastery ovver the TRUEST SCIENCES CA: an wwith my empiricists wwand i servve as the righteous hope that wwill incinerate delusion and the deluded alike CA: my holy fire is the wwhite fury bled from the wwrath-wweary eyes of fifty thousand nonfictional angels CA: and wwhen theyre finished wweepin they wwill boww before their prince GG: wow what are you talking about

What I mean is this: his brain is so full of anxiety and cognitive dissonance and murder and death that he struggles to care about other people, which has devastating effects on his social skills. I go really in-depth on how his though process informs his behavior here. The question may have popped up in your mind already: if his casteism stuff isn't actually real, then what is Eridan actually like? The answer is, overwhelmingly, and discomfortingly, SINCERE.

This boy is gunning at 100% emotional earnestness 100% of the time, and it's deeply uncomfortable for others to deal with. He'll swing wildly from insults and derogatory language, to stating a desire to kill all land dwellers, to awe and amazement at his friends' prowess, to demanding that they do things for him, to traumadumping and venting, without missing a beat. Often in the same conversation.

CA: kan its hard GA: What CA: being a kid and growwing up CA: its hard and nobody understands

He's also specifically terrible at parsing hostility. Functionally, he interprets all hostility aimed AT him as either pitch/ashen flirting or "ironic repartee," and similarly views his own hostile words as verbal jousting, pitch/ashen advances, or even just factual descriptions of the world around him (ie calling Nepeta a "kittycat shipper cavve girl"). Hostility and aggression are just kind of his baseline, default state of being, and he basically has no ability to differentiate between good and bad attention. I talk more in-depth about his emotionally bereft upbringing (and shitty lusus) here, but suffice to say that our boy isn't getting any emotional support at home, and as a result, craves attention, no matter what kind.

This also means he's insanely gullible. For example, Rose calls him an idiot to his face, and then blows up his computer, sarcastically calling it "your first lesson in showmanship." Eridan proceeds to literally considers it that, blowing up Jade's computer after he's done talking to her. Furthermore, Kanaya sees him as a burden, insults him to his face, and pretty much just bullies him along with Rose for fun.

So she trains Eridan to become a powerful white wizard of hope to challenge her, as a joke.

And yet, in spite of all that, Eridan still has nothing but gratitude and praise for Kanaya:

ERIDAN: kan i been meanin to thank you KANAYA: For What ERIDAN: for all that trainin you did ERIDAN: i wwouldnt be the incredible holy wwizard i am noww wwithout your help KANAYA: But I Didnt Even Really Train You I Just Made You A Wand ERIDAN: yeah wwell thats all i needed i guess ERIDAN: i just needed for someone to showw a little faith in me so im sayin thanks i owwe ya KANAYA: Okay Then Youre Welcome KANAYA: I Hope You Use Your Magnificent Powers Of Light And Hope For Goodness And Purity And Lets Not Forget Science ERIDAN: dont wworry im all ovver that shit you dont evven knoww KANAYA: Uh Oh I Hope That Didnt Come Off As Too Sarcastic ERIDAN: wwhat KANAYA: The Thing I Just Said KANAYA: I Didnt Even Realize How Sarcastic I Was Being Its Starting To Become A Problem I Think KANAYA: Please Dont Take Too Much Offense ERIDAN: haha damn kan if thats your idea of offense bein made then i honestly gotta fuckin wworry for you ERIDAN: tell you wwhat ill givve you some lessons in dealin out the dark umbrage to repay you for your tutelage in the wwhite science

Like, he's in the middle of genuinely thanking her for believing in him, she makes fun of him to his face, and his response is to laugh it off and offer to teach her how to properly insult someone. It's honestly... kind of sad. Not that he doesn't deserve the ridicule, but what we're seeing here is a traumatized, emotionally neglected boy trying to communicate the best that he can that he loves and appreciates his friends, and receiving nothing but mockery in return.

It's really not a surprise, then, that he goes off the deep end. His entire life prior to the game has been shit; he got broken up with as soon as he entered the game (by someone who didn't even care enough not to use fish puns while doing it); he's ostracized and avoided for the game's duration; and then he spends the rest of his time on the meteor being bullied. He feels deeply hopeless and anxious about their situation because he literally doesn't know how else to exist, and his concerns are dismissed and mocked at every turn. When Feferi turns on him with intent to kill, that's his breaking point.

I see a lot of people say he goes grimdark, or succumbs to external influence somehow, but I don't think that needs to be true (nor is it) - he's just a deeply traumatized kid with almost no support network who's finally been pushed to the edge, despite displaying every possible warning sign and making multiple cries for help. Yes, ultimately, he's guilty for his own actions, but his killing spree - alongside Gamzee's and Vriska's - represents a cohesive failure as a team to address very clear problems in their midst.

So Feferi and Kanaya are sick of his ass. Sollux hates him platonically, Equius doesn't like him, and Nepeta thinks of him as a creep. Vriska is his awkward ex, and Terezi agrees with him when he calls himself pathetic. He never interacts with Tavros, Aradia, or sober!Gamzee. Is there anyone that treats him nicely?

Uh, okay, so I swear this isn't shipping goggles -

Pale EriKar Is Canon And I Can Prove It

So, I'm going to start this with a disclaimer: you can ship what you want to ship. I don't mind. I don't care. Headcanons are valid, death of the author, etc. What you do in your free time is up to you.

What I am attempting to argue in this section is that an Eridan/Karkat moirallegiance was heavily foreshadowed, one of the most heavily foreshadowed things in the entire comic, and - assuming that the original ending of Homestuck included all the dead trolls being brought back and redeemed - was going to be endgame. There's a torrential amount of evidence pointing to this, and very little of it is acknowledged even by the EriKar shippers, which is a shame.

At the very least, I'll be happy if I can convince some Karkat RPers to be extra nice to Eridans, because they are actually just friends who care deeply about each other. Canonically.

The first thing to note is that Eridan and Karkat, at least prior to SGRUB, talk all the time, to the point where Feferi feels the need to comment on it:

CC: You know, I'm not sure w)(y we never talk about our romantic aspirations. CC: We s)(ould more often. It is kind of -EXCITING! CA: shrug CC: Probably because you fill your gossip quota wit)( your nubby )(orned bro. CC: You leave not)(ing left to talk about wit)( your dear sweet moirail! CC: We are supposed to )(elp eac)( ot)(er wit)( t)(at stuff too, remember. CA: maybe CA: seems kinda CA: odd though

("Can you please stop having an emotional affair with Karkat" "Eh, I'll think about it")

The second thing to note is what the contents of those conversations entail. Sure, they "gossip," but it goes deeper than that, because they gossip about things that Karkat would NEVER gossip about with anybody else, because Karkat usually respects his "VERY GOOD FRIEND"s. For example, here Eridan mentions that Karkat has speculated on Kanaya's love life with him:

CA: you dont wwant to be our auspistice cause you dont wwant to get locked into that sort of relation wwith her i can respect that GA: No Thats Not It CA: yeah it is your real feelins run pretty awwful RUDDY methinks evverybody knowws it CA: especially that assblood karkat he and me havve you so pegged about that its upright silly

And it's not even a one-off thing, because here Karkat is again, mentioning Nepeta's crush on him:

KARKAT: OK, BUT TO BE FAIR, I'M PRETTY SURE SHE'S STILL OBSESSED WITH ME. KARKAT: IT'S A VERY UNFORTUNATE, VERY RED AND VERY UNREQUITED SITUATION I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TIPTOE AROUND FOR A LONG TIME, OK? KARKAT: HER DISINTEREST IN YOUR ADVANCE WASN'T A REFLECTION ON YOU AT ALL. KARKAT: COME ON, WE TALKED ABOUT THIS.

It's a situation he's been trying to "tiptoe around for a long time," and he tells ERIDAN, of all people? MULTIPLE TIMES? (AND HE ALSO TELLS ERIDAN THAT THE REJECTION WASN'T HIS FAULT???? WHAT??????)

So we've established that they talk frequently and about some pretty seriously sensitive topics. But did you know that they also talk about... their feelings?

See, the thing is, Karkat has always been weirdly nice to Eridan. Here he is in a memo near the very beginning of their game, when Karkat is at his most "rah rah, I'm the big bad leader":

FCA: i got a problem FCA: wwith feferi FCA: and im really kinda sittin here in bad shape about it emotionally speakin CCG: OK, WELL CCG: I GET THAT, I HEAR YOU BRO CCG: BUT THIS IS STILL NOT THE RIGHT PLACE FOR THIS SO I'VE GOT TO BAN YOU. CCG banned FCA from responding to memo. CCG: BUT SERIOUSLY JUST GET IN TOUCH WITH ME IN PRIVATE ABOUT IT, OK MAN? CCG: WE'LL GET YOUR SHIT STRAIGHTENED OUT.

Compare that to Tavros asking for advice later down in the same memo:

PAT: sINCE i DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU ARE NOW, bUT MAYBE HELP ME, PAT: aBOUT A THING THAT HAS TO DO WITH A GIRL, PAT: lIKE, PAT: a ROMANCE THING, yOU MIGHT KNOW ABOUT, CCG: YOU PEOPLE ARE IMBECILES. CCG: ALL OF YOU. CCG: I AM NOT POSTING THESE MEMOS TO COUNSEL YOU ON YOUR PAST AND FUTURE DATING PROBLEMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CCG: WHY ARE YOU ALL SUCH BASKET CASES. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY ANYMORE. PAT: sORRY, CCG: SHOULD I BAN YOU? WHAT'S EVEN THE POINT ANYMORE! ONE OF YOU STOOGES WILL BE RIGHT ON THE LAST ONES HEELS WITH ANOTHER SOB STORY. CCG: JUST CCG: HURRY UP AND TELL ME WHAT YOUR PROBLEM IS BRO.

He then proceeds to dispense no actual love advice; he just points out that Vriska can totally read this memo too, and then mocks them both when she shows up - thus making it clear that he is giving Eridan special treatment.

You see it again in his discussion with Eridan in [S] Kanaya: Return to the Core, where Eridan invokes a "pact" between them, and Karkat immediately plays nice with him, despite himself being extremely high-strung and stressed out:

KARKAT: RIGHT, IT'S POWERED BY SCIENCE, I FORGOT. KARKAT: OR HOPE. WHATEVER THE FUCK THAT MEANS. ERIDAN: i dont fuckin need this from you i take enough shit as it is from the rest a you dirtscrapers i thought you and me had a kinda pact or wwhatevver KARKAT: OK FINE, SHUT UP, I APOLOGIZE. I KNOW IT'S TOUGH BEING YOU.

That's definitely pity, which Karkat states to be the basis of all relationships besides pitch. But, sure, okay, Karkat is sometimes nice to his friends. He is, after all, the Friendship Troll, so that's not necessarily out of the ordinary. But how about the fact that it goes both ways?

That's right, Eridan "100% aggro 100% of the time" Ampora is actually really considerate toward Karkat's feelings, and basically nobody else's. Upon hearing that Karkat is distressed that Sollux has died, Eridan actively puts his own meltdown about his breakup with Feferi on pause:

TC: BeCaUsE OuR GoOd bRo sOlLuX JuSt kIcKeD ThE WiCkEd mOtHeRfUcKiN ShIt CA: wwhat the fuck do you mean by that CA: are you sayin hes dead TC: YeAh :o( CA: oh fuck CA: oh god fuck noww i feel like an asshole

He then goes on to chastise Gamzee for his shitty advice, demanding to be given the chance to comfort Karkat himself instead:

TC: BuT I ToLd hIm tO Be cHiLl TC: BeCaUsE ThErE Is a mIrAcLe cOmInG, i cAn fEeL It CA: that is the wworst fuckin advvice CA: wwhat an awwful thing a you to say CA: MAGIC ISNT REAL STUPID STOP BELIEVVIN IN IT TC: i'Ve gOt tO BeLiEvE At wHaT My hEaRt tElLs iN Me, EvEn iF It's a fAkE ThInG TC: HoNk CA: this is a lot a pointless fuckin rubbish and isnt no emotional help to him or me either for that matter CA: put kar on

Before finally giving up when Gamzee insists he's "too scared of Jack" to help, drinking some Faygo, and trying to ask past Karkat for help, because past Karkat isn't sad yet about Sollux dying. So, to recap,

Eridan's first instinct when in emotional duress is to go to Karkat.

Eridan feels like he knows Karkat well enough to know that Gamzee's advice would be useless (and is proven right by the fact that Gamzee and Karkat's moirallegiance fails for similar reasons).

Eridan is willing to shelve his own emotional meltdown for Karkat's sake.

Eridan demands to be the one to provide Karkat with emotional support.

And this is, again, not a one-off thing. In the memo Karkat opens right after Eridan and Gamzee have both turned murderous, after he's spent several minutes making death threats toward Eridan and insulting him directly, he goes:

CCG: I'M SO UPSET, I'M JUST COMPLETELY FREAKING OUT IN EVERY WAY POSSIBLE. PCA: yeah i knoww wwhat its like you wwanna talk about it

Eridan spends this entire memo under the belief that it's a completely run-of-the-mill conversation they're having:

PCA: i mean yeah obvviously i kneww you wwerent serious PCA: i guess i appreciate the effort youre puttin into cheerin me up PCA: i can alwways count on you for some good ironic repartee kar nobody else really gets our sense a humor CCG: UGH, NO PCA: are you busy PCA: you said youd try to make it to lowwaa soon wwell howw about it

Which implies that offering to listen to Karkat's feelings is also a completely regular thing for them.

But something magical is ALSO happening within this last memo, and to really explain it, I'll first have to be a little mean to the GamKar shippers (sorry).

So, canonically, GamKar doesn't work out for them, despite also being somewhat foreshadowed. In fact, they feature on Nepeta's shipping wall, which is actually, in my opinion, foreshadowing that it WOULDN'T work out. (Nepeta's ships being wrong, and shipping being something she needs to learn to outgrow, is a whole essay on its own, that I'm not getting into here.)

But the thing is, the seeds for them not working out were also planted in the first - and only - real post-moirallegiance interaction that they have with each other, where Gamzee tries to calm Karkat down... and FAILS:

GAMZEE: naw brother, i was just about to all say for you to try and get your settle down on, maybe. GAMZEE: :o( ... KARKAT: OK KARKAT: OK YEAH KARKAT: I GUESS YOU'RE RIGHT. KARKAT: NO, YOU'RE RIGHT, I SHOULD RELAX. KARKAT: AND BREATHE. KARKAT: I MEAN, WHAT ARE MOIRAILS FOR, RIGHT? KARKAT: THIS IS HOW IT WORKS, I STOP YOU FROM KILLING EVERYBODY, THEN YOU RETURN THE FAVOR AND CALM ME DOWN AND I JUST KARKAT: BREATHE KARKAT: LIKE KARKAT: THIS... KARKAT: SNIIIIIIIIIIIIFFFFFFFFFFFFFUCK, THAT SUN IS BRIGHT. KARKAT: CALL ME CRAZY, BUT IT'S KIND OF HARD TO RELAX WITHIN A STONE'S THROW FROM, OH, I GUESS ONLY THE BIGGEST FUCKING STAR ANY MORTAL HAS EVER LAID EYES ON. ... KARKAT: BUT I MEAN, CAN THIS BE HEALTHY? KARKAT: AREN'T WE GOING TO GET BURNED OR HAVE OUR RETINAS SCORCHED BY LOOKING AT IT? KARKAT: OH GOD I THINK I'M HAVING A PANIC ATTACK.

But let's go back to that memo where Karkat is freaking out in every way possible. This is how he starts that memo - so upset about the deaths of his friends and terrified by Gamzee that he can barely string together a coherent thought:

CCG: WE ARE SO SCREWED. CCG: OH FUCK OH FUCK OH FUCK. CCG: GUYS, I AM TERRIFIED, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. CCG: I'M IN A ROOM FULL OF BODIES, AND I THINK I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO TURN MY BACK ON THEM? CCG: OH MY GOD, I JUST HEARD A HONK. ... CCG: FEFERI, I'M SORRY. CCG: IT WAS MY FAULT, I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. PCC: Sorry for w)(at?? CCG: FOR CCG: I CCG: I CAN'T DO THIS CCG: IT'S TOO MUCH FOR ME, I'M SORRY.

In fact, he's so distressed that he bans Past!Feferi and Past!Gamzee almost immediately after they come in. But then Eridan comes in, and... I mean, first of all, just compare how long it takes for him to ban Eridan:

But more interesting are the contents of their conversation. Over the course of talking to Eridan... Karkat completely calms the fuck down. Like he's entirely forgotten that he's shitting his pants with fear. In fact, he even starts critiquing Eridan for his dumbassery:

PCA: evven if i wwasnt compelled to think you wwere still bein flippant and ironic wwith me you cant exactly outright reject me can you CCG: WHY NOT PCA: cause youre future you PCA: doesnt count unless its present you til then its all fair game CCG: IS THIS REAL, ARE YOU BEING IRONIC OR SOMETHING, I CAN'T EVEN TELL ANYMORE CCG: THE PROBLEM IS, I CAN'T PUT THIS SORT OF BEHAVIOR PAST YOU AT ALL, SO I DON'T KNOW. ... CCG: YOU'RE KILLING ANGELS NOW, AREN'T YOU PCA: no CCG: YOU ARE KILLING FUCKING ANGELS, RIGHT NOW, IN THE PAST, WITH YOUR SHITTY GUN. I JUST KNOW IT. PCA: wwell uh PCA: therere just so damn many kar and theyre not gettin any less bloody pissed is the thing CCG: THIS IS WHY IT WOULD NEVER WORK BETWEEN US, MAN.

It's extremely funny. Over the course of talking to Eridan, he goes from:

CCG: OH GOD OH GOD OH MAN OH GOD CCG: NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

To:

CCG banned PCA from responding to memo. CCG: ANYWAY CCG: THAT'S IT I GUESS.

Eridan isn't even trying to calm Karkat down. He still succeeds in doing so. This is because they are soul mates. And I mean that in the sense that the comic literally calls being moirails soul mates, which it doesn't do for the other quadrants:

A reasonable human translation would be the concept of a soul mate, but in a more platonic sense, and with a more specific social purpose.

That "social purpose" being that an even-tempered troll calms down a more hot-tempered one, and vice versa.

It also goes on to note:

But some pale pairings, as the one above [referring to a picture of Nepeta and Equius], will be strikingly obvious to all who know them.

But what's really interesting is the next page.

And yet others will seem to have been hatched for each other.

Did you catch that? Let me zoom in.

(Also, the blue and red cuttlefish to represent Sollux - Feferi and Sollux spend the whole game together, and even wind up talking about their feelings constantly in a pile - more on piles in a sec.)

In fact... in Eridan's first visual appearance...

The crab has always been there for him.

It's also important to talk about the bottle of Faygo that's been photoshopped to be candy red, Karkat's blood color. The path that it takes actually directly mirrors Karkat's relationships with Gamzee and Eridan - it's initially something that Gamzee has, but winds up being ejected out of his life, and washes up on Eridan's shore. In fact:

TC: SnAtCh aN IcEcOlD, dOg TC: MoThErFuCkIn cHuG ThAt sHiT LiKe yOu aNd tHe bOtTlE WaS ReUnItEd lOvErS CA: are you recommendin a bevverage to me or somethin CA: is that wwhat this is TC: YeAh mAn SlAm A FaYgO CA: i dont havve a fuckin faygo you stupid fuck wwhy wwould i keep that disgusting shit on hand TC: ArE YoU MoThErFuCkIn sUrE AbOuT ThAt? CA: oh CA: oh god youre right i do CA: i totally forgot about it TC: YoU SeE MaN TC: MoThEr TC: FuCkIn TC: MiRaClEs TC: :o)

When Gamzee and Eridan discuss this exact bottle, Gamzee even likens it to "reunited lovers"; it's something that Eridan has had this whole time (after all, he was cheating on Feferi with the guy), but never realized.

There are a few miscellaneous things that don't really mean anything on their own, but put next to all this other stuff, is worth considering, so I'll list those now.

First, they both do the bonk:

Second:

CG: ARE WE NOT FRIENDS ANYMORE BECAUSE OF STUFF I SAID. TA: eheheheh you LIITERALLY a2k me that every tiime are you jokiing. TA: ii cant even tell anymore. CG: IT'S A JOKE MORON. CG: HONESTLY I'M JUST GLAD NOBODY ELSE IS PRIVVY TO OUR CONVERSATIONS.

Third, Karkat muses to his future self about how he misses his friends, especially the assholes, two pages before staring at a dead Eridan's ass (joking, he's definitely looking at WV, but it's still significant that this thought is being associated with Eridan):

CCG: I MEAN, DON'T GET ME WRONG. CCG: I MISS ALL OF MY DEAD FRIENDS A LOT. CCG: EVEN THE ASSHOLES! I MISS THEM TOO. MAYBE EVEN ESPECIALLY THEM, IN SOME PERVERSE WAY. CCG: AND I SHOULD BE RELIEVED THAT THEY ALL SEEM TO BE HAPPY IN SOME WAY, EVEN IF IT'S BY FLOATING NEBULOUSLY THROUGH DREAM PROJECTIONS WITH THEIR FREAKY BLANK EYES. CCG: AND I GUESS I AM RELIEVED ABOUT THAT. CCG: BUT AT THE SAME TIME IT'S LEFT ME UNSETTLED.

Fourth, in the same conversation, he bemoans his failed relationship with Terezi, before Future!Karkat chastises Past!Karkat for his instability and mixed signals. Going back to the page on moirallegiances, an explicit function of a proper pale relationship is stabilizing a troll's other relationships:

The two partners in a strong pale relationship will serve to balance and complement each other's emotional profiles, and thus allow their other relationships to be more successful.

Of course, I don't need to tell you how messy and unstable Eridan's relationships have been.

And finally, Piles of Stuff™ are associated with moirails, and directly stated in-comic to cause an outpouring of emotion:

Standing near this pile stirs powerful emotions. The closer you stand to piles of stuff, the more freely the feelings flow. It is a law of reality.

So here's a seven-word tragedy for you: For Sale, Shitty Wand Pile, Never Used:

ERIDAN: at least i got the upright basic decency to hide my shitty wand pile somewwhere in the lab you wwont find it dont evven bother lookin KARKAT: WHY DO YOU ASSHOLES HAVE PILES OF THINGS, JUST STOP.

(Which he specifically tells Karkat about.)

So, yeah, what I'm saying is, there's just, like, a weirdly large amount to read into here. That Karkat and Eridan are probably soulmates or whatever. And that this is important because...

Eridan Is Plot Relevant (Well All The Dead Trolls Are But This Is An Essay About Eridan)

So. Now we are going to talk about themes. Yes, like we are in schoolfeeding again. I'm going to keep it simple, because "The Themes of Homestuck" is a whole essay on its own, and this one about just the shitty fish boy is already way too long.

I think it's fairly non-controversial to posit that the main theme of Homestuck is, "children should mature, care about each other, and throw off the shackles of their old society, because they will be responsible for a new world one day."

Up until Game Over/the Retcon, this is so prevalent and well-established that SBURB/SGRUB's coming-of-age themes will outright be commented upon by the characters, and the main villain is a child who deliberately stunted his own growth so he could go around kicking over other peoples' toys forevermore.

So, the thing is, with that being the theme of Homestuck, if ALL of the Alternian trolls don't survive to the end, the ending is thematically unsatisfying, because the message suddenly gains an addendum of "well, some kids just need to die," which totally sucks. Like, sure, Eridan was a violent, crazed murderer even at the best of times, but his permanent death within the canon ending kind of means that the comic is saying that people in his position don't deserve kindness or second chances. That position being a traumatized, emotionally neglected child, who was being bullied by people he considered his friends. It's a pretty terrible message.

It's even worse when you consider what other trolls don't make it to the end - Nepeta, the most outspoken troll against the hemospectrum (and Davepeta does NOT count, don't try to tell me the final culmination of Nepeta's character arc is being combined with some guy she barely knows and a bird). Feferi, who genuinely wanted the best for others, even if she was kind of a privileged princess. Aradia and Sollux also stay behind in the bubbles, even though their lives have pretty much been endless parades of suffering and being used by other people. Even Equius doesn't deserve it - he was kind of a casteist freak, but not irredeemably so, and the fact that he became kinder to Karkat over the course of SGRUB proved that he had the capacity to change. And Tavros, allergic to himself and being insulted by Vriska, is a terrible way to end his arc.

It's also really clear that, since half his friends are dead, Karkat just doesn't really have anything to do. His title is the Knight of Blood, and Blood is about bonds - romance, friendship. And yet, he ends the comic having never figured out what Blood was about, with no confirmed filled quadrants (sorry DaveKat likers, but within the comic itself, DaveKat is never confirmed), and most of his bonds nothing more than ghosts in the bubbles. It's a terribly unsatisfying ending for the most narratively important troll.

I think, then, that even if you don't agree that Homestuck should have ended with full revivals and redemption arcs for all the trolls, the essay is going to proceed on like you do, so, sorry, I guess.

The thing with Eridan, specifically, is that he's actually tied deeply into the plot and themes, and his return means more than just Karkat finally getting a date (although that's important, too). Eridan is directly intertwined with a prophecy to kill Lord English; he's set up to mirror Caliborn and Calliope; and thematically, his redemption would be the most clear instance of the "interrogating society" part of the theme of Homestuck, because Eridan is kind of the Society Troll. And also, he was definitely supposed to be Roxy's wizard boyfriend.

Just gonna get that last one out of the way real quick because it's a fast one, Roxy fucking loves wizards and is a hipster. Eridan is a wizard and is also a hipster. Roxy has a crush on a prince. Eridan is also a prince. Roxy wears a purple striped scarf. Eridan wears a blue striped scarf. Roxy uses rifles. Eridan uses rifles. Momlonde's introduction includes a passive-aggressive fridge battle that features a cameo of Eridan's quirk.

Using the colorful MAGNET LETTERS, you recently left a succinct message, which may or may not have been directed toward anyone in particular. But you couldn't find the letter W, so you just stuck two V's together. Your mother then purchased a fresh pack of W's and left them there for your convenience.

Yeah. So. Uh. Not only did Eridan need to be brought back to date Karkat pale, but he also needed to be brought back to date Roxy flushed. Can you imagine how funny it would be. They'd get together within 5 minutes of meeting for the first time and Rose would lose her shit. Anyway.

Him being a parallel to Calliope and Caliborn is also a quick one - Caliborn uses Riflekind/Sceptrekind, and Calliope uses Pistolkind/Wandkind. Eridan's two weapons are rifles and wands. Lord English is described as an evil wizard and at one point is shown using Calliope's wand. Eridan is also an evil wizard who uses a wand.

Look, I'm not saying that Eridan is necessarily directly related to these two, nor am I even necessarily saying that he and Roxy HAVE to date, but I am saying that he's got Weird Plot Connections that make him bizarrely relevant to characters that only come into play well after his death - almost like the comic was setting up that he would be coming back. His reaction to Cronus supports this, which I go into detail about here.

There's other strange "Eridan's plot important" things, too - like the fact that he's completely unimpressed by Faygo, considering it to be "just soda," and seems to be the only non-cultist who's okay with it. Or the fact that he's actually been awake on Derse since before the game (but unable to hear the horrorterrors, maybe foreshadowing some psychic resistance?) which he casually reveals to Kanaya and which Terezi is aware of, hence he's included in the people she names are "in" on the existence of the game. Or the fact that the genetic code for Alternia's first guardian was written within the pages of four FLARP books, with the addition of a fifth code Gamzee wrote in Karkat's ~ATH book... but Eridan was the fifth FLARP player in the team, implying that Doc Scratch/LE influencing Gamzee caused him to usurp Eridan's part of the first guardian code, giving LE his way into the trolls' universe.

Individually, it's all kind of nothing, but it just paints a bigger picture of Eridan being weirdly relevant, especially when we get to the juicy stuff:

The Prophecy

ARANEA: The 8ard of Hope may seem a little jaded these days, 8ut he once had a deeply a8iding faith in magic, and dedicated himself to 8ecoming a great wizard. He 8ecame convinced he was hatched to defeat an extraordinarily evil magician, one he swore the angels foretold of. ... [T]his magician once somehow from afar tried to strike him down at a young age, so he would never have to face him. 8ut the evil spell was deflected, sealing the magician's spirit away in a series of unassuming vessels until he could find some other cunning way to enter our universe. ... ARANEA: 8ut at some point he 8ecame disillusioned with magic. If there ever was any truth to his far fetched vision, the legacy of defeating the evil magician would have to 8e passed on to his descendant, or if his descendant proved to 8e as much of a failure as he did, then perhaps on to some other Hero of Hope.

ERIDAN: i slaughtered enough angels to knoww my limits and wwhere i stand against the lord of all angels they prophecized

GG: im pretty sure hes from the future! CA: wwhy GG: because he said hes my grandson CA: wwhat the fuck is a grandson CA: is that some kind of pervverse human familial thing GG: umm yes ... CA: that gun i just gavve you is somethin of a hatchright to the kid CA: happy i could play a role in your dirty stinkin lineage GG: like an heirloom? i guess it could be ... CA: i kinda think thats wwhy i found the gun in the first place CA: but noww im forsakin it because fuck i just found a better destiny than my old crappy one wwhich i nevver got any appreciation for anywway

Jake is supposed to have been the one to defeat Lord English. (No, Jake defeating pre-LE Caliborn right before he gets sealed into Cal doesn't count! He doesn't even get the final blow in that fight, DIRK does.)

But Eridan at one point had that destiny on his shoulders. Aranea turbohealing Jake, and the resultant hope field, summons a bunch of angels, which are heavily associated with Eridan - yet another random connection that Eridan has with future plot events.

Jake was another character, alongside Karkat, who was kind of reduced to a joke by the end, despite the fact that he had literally, directly, been passed the destiny of defeating Lord English. It's hard not to see this as a consequence, at least in part, of removing Eridan from the story. By cutting him out of the fabric of the ending, several plot threads - including this prophecy - are left dangling in irrelevance. And so Jake, like Karkat, now has nothing to do.

Homestuck is generally a series where every prophecy does come true, which makes it kind of startling when several prophecies fail to - Feferi's to "unite the two races," Jake's to defeat Lord English, and Karkat's to bring "compassion, forgiveness, and equality among all bloodlines" in the Signless's place.

That last one is actually relevant to:

The Thematic Importance of EriKar As Soul Mates

Eridan represents the worst aspects of Alternian society. He's a sea dweller at the top of the caste structure, with free reign to murder whoever he wants, soaked in the blood of thousands of innocent trolls. He espouses the casteist rhetoric that their society is built on, calling for the deaths of all land dwellers and the oppression of the lower castes. And while he should be benefitting from his position of privilege, it has also done nothing but hurt him.

Karkat, meanwhile, is a pariah. A mutant who would've been culled on sight, who spent his entire life living in hiding, and most of the game in fear that he would be ostracized or worse by the rest of his friends if they found out about his blood color. He's also the second coming of Troll Jesus, and thus, more despised by the Alternian ruling class than a mutant normally would be. For most of his life, he dreamed of nothing more than finding belonging within the society that had deemed him unfit.

Their friendship is something that "should not be." The highblood and the mutant. The royal-v and the off-spectrum. The empress's sea dweller and the second coming of the signless. Eridan "should" see Karkat as a miscreant to cull on sight. Karkat "should" be terrified of Eridan's very existence.

But in reality, Eridan doesn't give a shit about blood color, and Karkat just wants to be accepted. Eridan just wants someone to care about him, and Karkat loves his friends. Aside from Feferi, Eridan is the only highblood who never comments about Karkat's mutant blood, and they were best buddies even before Eridan knew.

Eridan and Karkat getting together isn't JUST the two most undateable trolls on the team finally landing a stable quadrant. These two, moreso than any other pairing, represent the themes of Homestuck. Children growing up, caring about each other, and throwing off the shackles of their old society.

In the pre-retcon timeline, their team failed to do so. This led to Gamzee falling into his highblood clown cult, Equius letting himself and Nepeta die by submitting to his place in the hemospectrum, Vriska killing Tavros because she couldn't allow herself to show weakness, and Eridan completing his caste's dream of genocide. Karkat spent the entire meteor trip and beyond beating himself up about it, since he considered it all to be his fault.

But with the introduction of John's retcon powers, they have the chance to, one by one, redeem themselves. I believe that's how the original ending would have gone: Terezi would ask John to bring Vriska back, because she only feels comfortable fixing her own mistakes. Vriska would then have asked John to bring back Tavros, whom she regretted killing. Tavros would be there for Gamzee, rendering him an ally. Gamzee would ask John to bring back Equius and Nepeta. Equius would ask John to help him not make the same mistakes with Aradia, and Aradiabot would catch John by the wrist and demand he bring her back in time to before she died, allowing her to circumvent her own death and Sollux's guilt. Sollux would ask John to keep him from provoking Eridan, saving Feferi. And Feferi would be pretty ok with the way things were... but KARKAT would then pull John aside, and drop an entire book of mistakes he made on John's lap, and this would result in a finalized timeline where all his friends are alive and god-tiered.

Because all the trolls SHOULD have survived.

Vriska should've survived because people should be allowed to have second chances.

Tavros should've survived because caring about each other, and being willing to show kindness and mercy, are good things.

Gamzee should have survived because people mired in religious fundamentalism and cults deserve to be offered a helping hand.

Equius should've survived because people should be allowed to grow and change their beliefs.

Nepeta should've survived because she was the anti-casteism troll. Casteism is bad, folks! Not only that, but I'm convinced that she was originally going to give the Ultimate Self exposition, and Davepetasprite^2 had to be contrived in the canon ending in order to shortcut Nepeta's character development, ruining it in the process.

Aradia should've been allowed to stay with the rest of the team and live a life free of the control of evil uncles and shitty ancestors.

Sollux should've been allowed to stay with the rest of the team because we all deserve to heal and be happy.

Feferi should've survived so she could be in a kismesistude with Nepeta, and realize that casteism itself is bad, not just the definition of culling, and then used her Witch of Life powers to even out the lifespans between the next generation of trolls, which needs to happen or else casteism will just happen again as long-lived highbloods inevitably amass power. And, also, it would complete the prophecy Gl'bgolyb gave her that she was intended to unite the two races (dream bubbles don't count, because by that metric, Sollux did more than she did by establishing a connection between the trolls and humans).

And Eridan should've survived, because the harm society has done to us can be undone. We don't have to submit to the roles it imposes, to the laws it wrote, to the abuse it inflicted. We can be free.

I've seen a lot of people who believe that such-and-such character did SUCH awful things that they don't deserve a happy ending. Oftentimes, it's Eridan, but nearly all of the dead trolls have gotten this treatment. So, let me just ask all of you who have gotten this far and still hold that opinion one thing. Do you think that's what Troll Jesus would have wanted?

This is why pale EriKar is so important: for it to happen, Eridan has to make a choice between upholding the beliefs of his shitty society, or pursuing a happier, kinder future, one where he outright rejects the caste system. For it to happen, Karkat has to shake all his insecurities about not being good enough by Alternian standards, and take on the duty of creating something better than what he came from. If pale EriKar happens, it means Eridan and Karkat choose love, not fear. Compassion, forgiveness, and equality.

This choice - this pairing - is the ultimate representation of giving Alternian society one big middle finger. Saying, we don't need you anymore, fuck off! Saying, we reject you at your core; we will choose something better! Saying, we will create a new world, and it will be kinder than the one we came from!

Pale EriKar means LOVE WINS.

Thank you for reading.

[vriskasays]

diverting moe norms by making nepeta have a high pitched voice and be cutesy and like a little weird and creepy and she just acts totally babygirl but she shoots up to like 6'1 and doubles her weight and like 10 years after she meets all the trolls she goes "oh? yeah this isn't my r33l voice :33" she drops her pitch and she sounds like one of those old as fuck cats that looks like it smokes 3 packs a day. doesnt ever bring it up again. "h3h3 ur so silly. that never happawned. what are u yowlin bout!" the troll groupchat never recovers. she continues to glomp her friends daily. equius constantly breaks tape measures asking nepeta to mark his and her height on a doorframe because he is SO mad trying to stand on his tippy toes to reach nepetas height. u ask her how tall she is she responds with 4'11 and a peace sign.