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zapreportsblog · 1 year ago

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Hello. Yandere Miguel O'Hara and female reader. The reader catches Miguel's eye after she joins the spider community. After a while, Miguel realizes that he wants to find the reader waiting for him to come home from work at the house where they will live together. And with at least five children.

❝a new spider in my web❞

✭ pairing : yandere miguel o’hara x reader

✭ fandom : spiderman into the spiderverse

✭ summary : the moment Miguel laid his eyes on here he knew she was it for him, he didn’t care if they couldn’t be together, he’d make something work. He always did

✭ authors note : none of these are my art just a heads up I found them on Pinterest

✭ spiderman into the spiderverse masterlist

In the bustling heart of the Spider-Verse community, where spider-folk from countless dimensions converged, a new arrival was about to catch the attention of one particular spider.

Miguel O'Hara, known in his dimension as Spider-Man 2099, stood atop a towering skyscraper, his sharp eyes scanning the sprawling metropolis below. His costume, a sleek blue and white suit, shimmered in the city's neon glow as he maintained his vigilant watch over the Spider-Verse.

It was an ordinary day in this extraordinary place, or so it seemed until Gwen Stacy, the Spider-Woman of her dimension, swung by with effortless grace through a portal and landed beside Miguel. Her white and black suit glistened like moonlight against the darkened skyline. Gwen had been one of the few to join the Spider-Verse community, and she had seen her fair share of newcomers.

"Hey, Miguel," she greeted him with a friendly nod. "Got a moment?"

Miguel raised a brow at her but nodded, curious. Gwen had a way of making even the most routine days interesting or troublesome in his eyes. "What is it, Gwen?"

Gwen smiled, her eyes sparkling with a hint of excitement. "Well I know you’ve been trusting me more and more for the mission we’ve had so far and so I brought someone new to the community today, and I think you'll want to meet her."

Miguel arched an eyebrow, intrigued. "Another spider-person? What makes this one special and why wasn’t I alerted of this beforehand? You know you can’t just bring someone random without going over it with me first.”

Gwen's grin widened just slightly, “She's different, I swear! In her universe, she's their Spider-Woman, obviously but when she got bitten, look just check her out miguel. What’s the harm in it, plus she's... pretty unique."

As Gwen spoke, the night air suddenly crackled with a strange energy. Moments later, a figure swung into view, suspended by clear glistening webbing. Miguel's eyes widened as he saw her for the first time.

Her form bathed in the eerie glow of the main room labs lights, descended gracefully from her webline. She was a striking sight, like something out of a dream and a nightmare all at once. Her lower half was a delicate, iridescent exoskeleton, resembling that of a spider, while her upper body remained unmistakably human. Her costume blended seamlessly with her arachnid lower half, creating an otherworldly fusion.

Miguel couldn't tear his eyes away. This newcomer was unlike any spider-person he had ever encountered. Her presence exuded an air of mystery and power that was impossible to ignore.

Gwen chuckled at Miguel's reaction. "See what I mean? She's going to be a game-changer around here."

Miguel finally found his voice. "You brought her to here to the spiderverse already? Since you didn’t bother telling me of her arrival does Jess at least know.”

Gwen nodded. "Yes, and I think she's going to be a valuable addition to our team. (Y/N) is her name, by the way."

As (Y/N) touched down gracefully on the rooftop, her multifaceted eyes met Miguel's. There was a brief, electric connection between them, an unspoken understanding of the extraordinary circumstances they had both found themselves in.

Miguel extended a hand, a smile playing on his lips. "Welcome to the Spider-Verse, I would say I’ve heard good things about you but I didn’t know of your existence until now.”

That earnt him a laugh from the woman, “It’s all cool, I’ve come to notice that Gwen tends to do her own thing at times. But it’s a pleasure to meet you, I am (y/n).”

“(Y/n) huh…nice name. I’m Miguel, the spiderman of this universe and creator of the spiderverse.”

With that simple gesture, a new chapter in (Y/N)'s journey as an extraordinary spider-being began, and Miguel couldn't help but wonder what incredible adventures lay ahead in this web of endless possibilities.

Miguel couldn't deny his fascination with (Y/N), and as the days passed, he took every opportunity to get to know her abilities, her strengths, and her vulnerabilities. Gwen's intuition had been right; (Y/N) was unique, not just in her appearance but in her spider-powers as well.

Their missions together became a testing ground, and Miguel found himself in the dual role of mentor and admirer. (Y/N) had an uncanny ability to adapt to any situation. Her agility and dexterity were unmatched, her spider-silk threads stronger and more versatile than any he'd seen before.

As they swung through the city, tracking down threats and facing down villains, Miguel couldn't help but watch (Y/N) in action. Her movements were like a mesmerizing dance, fluid and graceful. Her eyes, a mesmerizing blend of human warmth and arachnid determination, held a fierce focus that drew him in.

Yet, his captivation came at a cost. There were moments when his preoccupation with her put him in harm's way. A misplaced web-swing, a delayed reaction, or an enemy's surprise attack—it seemed like Miguel's attention was often divided.

One fateful night, in the midst of a heated battle with a formidable foe, Miguel found himself momentarily caught off guard. Before he could react, an energy blast was hurtling towards him. In that split second, (Y/N) moved with lightning speed, positioning herself between Miguel and the danger. Her spider-silk shield absorbed the brunt of the blast, saving Miguel from serious injury.

As the dust settled, Miguel's heart raced, and he couldn't shake the feeling that (Y/N) had shielded him not just out of duty but out of a deeper connection. It was a thought that haunted him, and he couldn't help but wonder if there was more to their partnership than met the eye.

In the aftermath of the battle, as they regrouped with Gwen, Miles, and Hobie, Miguel's thoughts were a tumultuous whirlwind. He kept his inner musings to himself, not daring to voice the growing obsession that whispered in the recesses of his mind.

Hobie, ever perceptive, gave Miguel a knowing look “Dontcha think you’ve been watching the new girl a bit too hard there mate?”

Miguel blinked, caught off guard by the question. "What? No, I—"

Gwen chimed in with a playful grin. "It's okay, Miguel. We all see how you look at her. Told you she was something special.”

Miles nodded in agreement. "Yeah, I mean sure there’s a T-Rex that’s a Spiderman? Spider-Rex? But like a whole half humanoid spider? That’s pretty wicked too.”

Miguel couldn't deny it any longer, not that he’d voice it. His feelings for (Y/N) had grown into something more than just admiration. He cared for her deeply, and the thought that she might feel the same way both thrilled and terrified him.

“You three know nothing. I don’t have feelings for (y/n) im simply assessing her skills. Nothing more, now leave me be.” Miguel says turning his back to the three youngsters.

He couldn't risk their partnership by letting his emotions get the best of him. So, like always, he kept his feelings locked away, buried beneath his stoic exterior, all while secretly cherishing every moment he spent with (Y/N), the extraordinary spider-woman who had captured his heart.

Miguel had been waiting for the right moment to talk to (Y/N) about the upcoming mission. He knew it was crucial, and he needed to ensure her full attention and commitment. As he walked down the corridor towards her quarters, his mind was filled with thoughts of the mission's details, but also of his deep affection for (Y/N). He couldn't help but smile as he thought about their future together.

However, as he approached her door, his smile faded. He saw Riley, a fellow agent, standing in front of (Y/N). Riley was flexing his muscles and engaging in conversation with her. A wave of jealousy and possessiveness washed over Miguel. He clenched his fists, feeling a surge of anger. (Y/N) was his; he couldn't stand the thought of her being with someone like Riley.

Miguel hesitated for a moment, debating whether to confront them. Instead, he turned on his heels and walked away. He couldn't bear to see (Y/N) with someone else, not when he loved her so deeply.

Retreating to his office, Miguel locked the door behind him. He needed to clear his mind and focus on something other than his jealousy. He sat down at his desk and began reviewing clips and videos he had taken of (Y/N) in action. Each time he paused a video, it was at the moment her face was on display. He couldn't help himself, his obsession with her consuming his every thought.

Miguel started to mumble to himself, reassuring himself that (Y/N) was his and that she loved him, even if she was too shy to say it. He envisioned a future together, a family they would build. He wondered if their children would inherit his or her looks, or perhaps a perfect blend of both. He imagined their first born would be a girl, their very own daughter, a mommy's girl just like him, adoring (Y/N) as much as he did.

He envisioned her carrying more of their children, would they be eggs or would she carry them like a regular mother did in pregnancy?

In his isolated office, Miguel was lost in his fantasies. He couldn't wait for the day when (Y/N) would truly be his, and he was determined to make that future a reality.

As Miguel continued to grapple with the complexities of his relationship with (Y/N), he couldn't help but think about the obstacles they faced. The idea of two Spider-People together raised concerns of potential conflicts or even the risk of creating a catastrophic event in their world. Society had its expectations, its rules, and its fears, but Miguel knew deep down that he couldn't simply let (Y/N) slip away.

Each time he pictured (Y/N) with someone else, whether it was their own MJ or Gwen, or even a complete stranger, an unsettling feeling gnawed at him. It was as if the universe itself was protesting against any scenario where they weren't together. It was in these moments of doubt and insecurity that Miguel realized their unique connection.

He whispered to himself in the solitude of his office, "No one else would accept our flaws." He understood that they were perfect for each other precisely because they could see past each other's imperfections and still love each other deeply.

Miguel knew the risks, the potential consequences of their love, but as he thought about a world falling apart, it didn't matter to him. In his heart, he knew that having (Y/N) in his arms was worth any sacrifice, even if it meant the world crumbling around them. Their love was a force that defied the ordinary, and he was willing to defy the world if it meant they could be together.

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shculley · 9 days ago

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Top Albums of 2024

100. Helado Negro - Phasor

99. Geordie Greep - The New Sound

98. Horse Jumper of Love - Disaster Trick

97. MGMT - Loss of Life

96. Ekko Astral - Pink Balloons

95. Iron & Wine - Light Verse

94. Phosphorescent - Revelator

93. Kelly Lee Owens - Dreamstate

92. Porridge Radio - Clouds In the Sky They Will Always Be There For Me

91. Christopher Owens - I Wanna Run Barefoot Through Your Hair

90. Laura Marling - Patterns in Repeat

89. Cloud Nothings - Final Summer

88. Wild Pink - Dulling the Horns

87. Fred Thomas - Window in the Rhythm

86. The Decemberists - As It Ever Was, So It Will Be Again

85. Lightning Bug - No Paradise

84. Julia Holter - Something in the Room She Moves

83. Friko - Where we've been, Where we go from here

82. Shannon & The Clams - The Moon Is In the Wrong Place

81. Metz - Up on Gravity Hill

80. Chanel Beads - Your Day Will Come

79. Ty Segall - Three Bells

78. Bright Eyes - Five Dice, All Threes

77. of Montreal - Lady on the Cusp

76. glass beach - Plastic Death

75. This Is Lorelei - Box for Buddy, Box for Star

74. Omni - Souvenir

73. Babehoven - Water's Here in You

72. Dehd - Poetry

71. 2nd Grade - Scheduled Explosions

70. Jon Hopkins - RITUAL

69. Rosali - Bite Down

68. Ducks Ltd - Harm's Way

67. Nap Eyes - The Neon Gate

66. Oso Oso - Life Till Bones

65. Duster - In Dreams

64. Nilufer Yanya - My Method Actor

63. The Chisel - What a Fucking Nightmare

62. Molchat Doma - Belaya Polosa

61. Clinic Stars - Only Hinting

60. Chain Cult - Harm Reduction

59. Hovvdy - Hovvdy

58. The Cure - Songs of a Lost World

57. Drug Church - Prude

56. Magdalena Bay - Imaginal Disk

55. Joe Goddard - Harmonics

54. Font - Strange Burden

53. Floating Points - Cascade

52. Waxahatchee - Tiger's Blood

51. SPRINTS - Letter to Self

50. Godspeed You! Black Emperor - No Title as of 13 February 2024 28,340 Dead

49. Mount Eerie - Night Palace

48. Future Islands - People Who Aren't There Anymore

47. Chubby and the Gang - And Then There Was...

46. DIIV - Frog In Boiling Water

45. Split System - Vol . 2 LP

44. King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard - Flight b741

43. Cassandra Jenkins - My Light, My Destroyer

42. The Smile - Wall of Eyes

41. Camera Obscura - Look to the East, Look to the West

40. Adrianne Lenker - Bright Future

39. Foxing - Foxing

38. Corridor - Mimi

37. Hurray for the Riff Raff - The Past Is Still Alive

36. The Bug Club - On the Intricate Inner Workings of the System

35. Still House Plants - If I Don't Make It, I Love U

34. Peel Dream Magazine - Rose Main Reading Room

33. Meatbodies - Flora Ocean Tiger Bloom

32. IDLES - Tangk

31. TR/ST - Performance

30. The Voidz - Like All Before You

29. Advance Base - Horrible Occurences

28. Jack White - No Name

27. Wishy - Triple Seven

26. Mannequin Pussy - I Got Heaven

25. High Vis - Guided Tour

24. The Smile - Cutouts

23. Thee Oh Sees - Sorcs 80

22. SLIFT - Ilion

21. Cold Cave - Passion Depression

20. Crack Cloud - Red Mile

19. Father John Misty - Mahashmashana

18. Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds - Wild God

17. Midwife - No Depression In Heaven

16. Cold Gawd - I'll Drown On This Earth

15. Adult Jazz - So Sorry So Slow

14. Jamie xx - ln Waves

13. Four Tet - Three

12. Vampire Weekend - Only God Was Above Us

11. Jessica Pratt - Here in the Pitch

10. Fontaines D.C. - Romance

9. Caribou - Honey

8. Mount Kimbie - The Sunset Violent

7. Bonny Light Horseman - Keep Me on Your Mind / See You Free

6. English Teacher - This Could Be Texas

5. The Goalie's Anxiety at the Penalty Kick - The Iliad and the Goalie's Anxiety at the Penalty Kick

4. MJ Lenderman - Manning Fireworks

3. Blue Bendy - So Medieval

2. Mk.gee - Two Star & The Dream Police

1. Cindy Lee - Diamond Jubilee

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lovejustforaday · 3 years ago

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Cocteau Twins Ranked #4 - Heaven or Las Vegas

4. Heaven or Las Vegas (1990)

Main Genres: Dream Pop

A decent sampling of: Shoegaze, Ethereal Wave, Neo-Psych, Alternative Dance, Jangle Pop

WHAT? HEAVEN OR LAS VEGAS ONLY AT NUMBER 4? ARE YOU INSANE? *pitchforks being sharpened*

Woah there pal, simmer down now. I’ll get to properly defending my position on where this stands in the band’s discography in just a little bit, but first let me go over everything I love and appreciate about this beautiful record.

Cocteau Twin’s most joyous and widely beloved project, Heaven or Las Vegas is an album that oozes brilliantly with a thick, gleaming, technicolour glaze. It is the band’s richest, most sickly sweet record. I feel like listening to this on repeat could give me a toothache, but then it wouldn’t really bother me that much cause this record is honestly just pure bliss.

It also possesses a very immediate sensation compared to other Cocteau Twins records. Some tracks like “Fifty-Fifty Clown” and “Fotzepolitic” are very uptempo and danceable, with those drum machines the band was so known for finally being utilized in a more conventional, dance-rhythm oriented way.

“Cherry-Coloured Funk” opens with a sound that is absolutely dripping in a constant flow of rich, translucent sonic fluids (the cherry-coloured funk, I suppose), conveyed through echoing and elongated guitar strums that wrap around the listener’s ears in a continuous rotational motion. Seriously one of Robin Guthrie’s greatest timbral achievements throughout his entire career as a producer; this thing gives me ear orgasms.

“Iceblink Luck” jangles and flashes with all the excitement of a bustling festival of lights. This track just makes me grin from ear to ear with sheer glee, which is exactly how I picture Elizabeth Fraser’s face as she rhapsodizes over her usual whimsical imagery on this track. Perhaps the band’s most excited song.

Title track “Heaven or Las Vegas” is the quintessential Cocteau Twins piece. It’s the track that made me and so many others fall in love with their work, and it sits firmly in my top three songs by the band. Riding on the shimmering highs of this soaring masterpiece is one of the most addictive drugs in music form that I’ve ever consumed.

I particularly love how the golden tones of that lead guitar during the verses practically splatters all over the song, like little neon-glowing globs of nectar. Fraser’s lyrics are more comprehensible and audible than usual, which is a very good thing because they’re probably the most lovely lyrics she’s ever penned. The childlike wonder and amazement she is able to convey is astounding, elevating the song to even greater levels of perfection. The razor-soft guitar tones during the bridge are absurdly gratifying. This song ranks high as being one of the very most rapturous experiences I’ve ever had with music.

“Fotzepolitic” sees the band fully embracing the sounds of a then-recently-formed shoegaze scene that the band had influenced and previously foreshadowed to some degree on last record Blue Bell Knoll and previous EPs Tiny Dynamine and Love’s Easy Tears. This song makes me feel dizzy in all of the right ways, and it’s another one of those classic 3/4 waltzes that Cocteau Twins do so marvelously.

The album ends on an achingly beautiful, though slightly sombre note with “Frou-frou Foxes in Midsummer Fires”, which is otherwise uncharacteristic of the band’s most gleeful record. The minor key tonality of the piano melody during the verses and pre-chorus is more reminiscent of their earlier goth records, but then the cascading riff during the chorus kicks in and all of it comes together quite nicely with the rest of the album’s prevailing sound design. It’s definitely the quirkiest song here, and it serves as a nice little reminder at the end of the album that you’re still listening to the same Cocteau Twins who have written more alienating records like Head Over Heels. Also I have to say that Fraser’s vocal rhythms during the chorus are simply exquisite.

Okay okay, so now the elephant in the room. How come only fourth place?

I feel like I’m in an odd position; I do love this record. I have no desire to tear it down, and I’m more than happy that it gets the praise it deserves. I would struggle to call it ‘overrated’. That term is only an appropriate description for how I feel about the record within the context of the Cocteau Twins discography, and not an appropriate description for the album in general.

But the longer I’ve been a fan of this band, the more I’ve seen an increasingly strong consensus online that this is not only one of the greatest dream pop records ever, but also hands down the greatest Cocteau Twins record. The former I can mostly get behind, but I just don’t see this record as the unmatched artistic peak of the band’s discography that it’s so often treated as these days. The title track is no doubt a top three tier Cocteau Twins song, but holistically I’d say they’ve made better records.

I could nitpick this one if I really tried. The few weaker tracks that are here sometimes run a bit thin to my ears, almost feeling too one-note (though always a very pretty note nonetheless). Mind you, dynamic tracks like “Heaven or Las Vegas” and “Frou-frou Foxes in Midsummer Fires” are the antithesis of one-note. That large contrast, however, almost makes the weaker moments stand out more to me than they otherwise normally would.

And yet, I feel like I can easily understand the reasons why this is heralded as the Cocteau Twins’ magnum opus. For one, the records that I’m about to rank above this LP are all considerably more esoteric, and uncompromising in presenting the band’s more bizarre qualities.

Meanwhile, Heaven or Las Vegas is the band at their most accessible, as well as their most celebratory. It’s definitely still a little outlandish, and manages to grab your attention like their first five records, but it also has a lighter tone and more conventional songwriting similar to their last two records. Elizabeth Fraser’s vocals are still distinctly Fraser-esque here, but they are also more directly melodic, articulate, and in the foreground.

The album strikes a very delicate balance, which is what I think makes Heaven or Las Vegas the band’s most universal record. Pop heads, indie kids, and even some of the less diehard goths can all get behind this one. Furthermore, the influence it has had on 21st century dream pop artists, such as Asobi Seksu, Hatchie, and Beach House, is more evident than on any other Cocteau Twins record. I suppose it will continue to go on having the most lasting legacy of any of the band’s records.

And like I said, I do really love this record. It’s an exceptional dream pop album for sure, and definitely one that knows what it wants to do.

Naturally, all of these qualities make Heaven or Las Vegas the perfect starter record for the average listener who’s looking to get into Cocteau Twins. This exuberant rush of an album will almost certainly leave any new listener wanting to hear more of the band, and just that by itself is more than enough for me to recommend this record.

9/10

Highlights: “Heaven or Las Vegas”, “Cherry-Coloured Funk”, “Frou-frou Foxes in Midsummer Fires”, “Iceblink Luck”, “Fotzepolitic”, “I Wear Your Ring”

#Heaven or Las Vegas #Cocteau Twins #Dream Pop #Shoegaze #list #album list #album review #music review #1990 #4AD #Elizabeth Fraser #Robin Guthrie #Simon Raymonde

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passionate-reply · 4 years ago

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Great Albums is back! This week, we’ll take a look at one of the greatest electronic albums of all time, Kraftwerk’s The Man-Machine, and try to avoid getting sued by Ralf Huetter! Full transcript for the video can be found below the break. Enjoy!

Growing up, my main genre of choice was 80s synth-pop, and while the deep influence of Kraftwerk is as significant there as it is everywhere else in electronic music, I was one of those people who initially saw them as somewhat "intimidating." Today, moreso than ever, Kraftwerk are held up as one of those more high-brow or cerebral groups with a philosophy that transcends mere pop or dance music, which makes them seem respectable, a kind of “model minority” in the world of music outside rock. While I don’t buy into the judgmental quality of that sort of praise, which damns so many of Kraftwerk’s greatest fans and imitators, I did get the sense, as a child, that these hoity-toity Germans, working with primitive equipment way back in the 1970s, might not be what I was looking for in a new favourite band. That was before I heard The Man-Machine.

While it’s certainly true that Kraftwerk were a highly experimental band in their own time, they’re one of those acts whose ideas have deeply permeated contemporary music, to the point where their actual work is extremely approachable and listenable to today’s ears. Of all the fairly early electronic acts, who started making this kind of music before it began to become mainstream in the late 70s, Kraftwerk are almost certainly the ones people nowadays listen to for pleasure the most, and that’s no accident. While their earlier albums like Trans-Europe Express took more overt inspiration from classical music, The Man-Machine was their first great foray into the arena of pop, which I think is key to why it resonates with people. For evidence of that, look no further than the biggest mainstream hit of Kraftwerk’s career, “The Model.”

I think it’s easy to see why “The Model'' became a hit single. Sure, it may not have the most traditional pop song structure, let alone instrumentation, but unlike a lot of what Kraftwerk had done before, it’s got a lot of lyrics and a real sense of narrative. Plus, that narrative we get is about a person and not a machine--a good-looking person, in whom the narrator is sexually interested. It’s the perfect pop material. Of course, I would be remiss to mention that “The Model” didn’t achieve all of its success until the single was re-released in many markets in 1981, and in those few years, the idea of “synth-pop” advanced significantly in the charts and popular consciousness. By the time “The Model” was a hit, Kraftwerk admirers were already taking over: look no further than Gary Numan’s "Cars” or OMD’s "Enola Gay,” two synth-pop classics that, it must be said, are still about vehicles!

That aside, though, not everything on The Man-Machine sounds like “The Model”--in fact, it’s surrounded by tracks that have much more in common with Kraftwerk’s earlier LPs. Literally surrounded, in the track listing. I think that adds to this album’s appeal as an ideal entry point into their catalogue: it has some things that sound familiar, while also preparing you for what else you’ll encounter if you choose to probe deeper into the band. The Man-Machine has the least homogeneous profile of any Kraftwerk album. While most of their other classic albums are highly cohesive “song cycles” that almost blend into one long song when you listen to them in full, The Man-Machine doesn’t really have those repeated melodies and motifs that tie its tracks together. While many people, especially fans of psychedelic and progressive rock, really like those cohesive albums, I think this change is a welcome one. It gives the individual tracks a bit more room to breathe and express distinctive identities, and makes the album feel a bit more pop, even if the material itself isn’t always all that poppy. *The Man-Machine* actually only has six individual tracks; they range in length from the three-minute pop stylings of “The Model” to the urban sprawl of “Neon Lights,” which luxuriates in an almost nine-minute runtime.

Given that the average track length is around six minutes, I’m almost tempted to think of The Man-Machine as six tiny Kraftwerk albums, or at least, musical ideas that could have been expanded into full LPs in another universe. “Neon Lights” and “Spacelab” feel dreamy and easy-going, with floating melodies that draw from the “cosmic music” scene, one of the many emergent styles that began as something uniquely German and spread throughout the world--in this case, becoming an important forerunner to ambient electronic music through acts like Tangerine Dream. Meanwhile, the hard, tick-tocking rhythms of “Metropolis” and the title track point to the newfound focus on rhythm and the so-called motorik beat that made the music of Neu! so compelling.

The Man-Machine can serve not only as an introduction to Kraftwerk, but also as a sort of crash course in this entire period of electronic music, showcasing some of the most distinctive and influential features of the German scene, as well as the shape of synth-pop to come. It’s a complex and busy historical moment with huge ramifications for almost all of subsequent electronic music, and The Man-Machine really creates a microcosm of that whole environment. There’s also the fact that each side of the record has one track from each of my three broad groups, like an expertly-designed sushi platter or charcuterie board for us to sample from, and they both follow the same formula: a pop appetizer, a cosmic *entree,* and motorik for dessert.

*The Man-Machine* also has what is almost certainly the most iconic cover of any of Kraftwerk’s LPs. This is how lots of us still picture them in our minds, and it’s inspired tons of parodies and riffs over the years. I think all of that acclaim is deserved! Emil Schult’s graphic design for the album was heavily inspired by avant-garde Soviet artists of the 10s and 20s, chiefly El Lissitzky. These visual artists used their art to express their hope for a new world, defined by the promise of technology, and their literally revolutionary philosophy--so what could be a better match for Kraftwerk’s electronic revolution in music? Lissitzky used bright, primary colours, straight lines, and geometric shapes to convey the “built environment” of modern cities and man-made architecture, and you’ve got all the same sentiment on display here. The use of strong diagonals really draws the eye and lends this image a lot of continued visual interest. It’s also worth noting the extent to which Kraftwerk’s aesthetics inspired later electronic acts almost as powerfully as their sound. When you picture an electronic band, and get a mental image of stiff and stone-faced musicians behind synthesisers wearing shirts and ties, you can certainly thank Kraftwerk for that, as well.

I also love the title of The Man-Machine! The relationship between people and technology is one of, if not the, most central themes in Kraftwerk’s entire discography, which is full of references to anthropomorphic machines as well as mechanically-mediated humans. The particular choice of the phrase “man-machine,” as opposed to words like “android,” has a fun vintage flair to it, which matches the use of early 20th Century visual art quite nicely.

As might be expected from the album’s stylistic diversity, *The Man-Machine* would prove to be something of a transition point in Kraftwerk’s career. Their 1981 follow-up, Computer World, would return to the song cycle format, but with increasing emphasis on ideas from the pop sphere, championed by percussionist Karl Bartos. By the time of the last classic-lineup Kraftwerk LP, 1986’s Electric Cafe, they had not only amped up the pop, but also incorporated influence from the electronic dance music of the time. Ultimately, Bartos would leave the group, chiefly due to discontent with his treatment by founding members Ralf Huetter and Florian Schneider-Esleben, and their persistent lack of musical productivity.

On a somewhat lighter note, my personal favourite track on this album is its opener, “The Robots.” Per my typology from earlier, I classified this as a pop-oriented song, and it certainly is an approachable one that’s proven to be quite popular. But it’s got just enough more experimental touches to keep things quite interesting. From an ominous, dissonant intro, a slightly more pop form, hinting at a verse/chorus structure, soon emerges and contrasts. I love the groove of the rhythm and percussion here, as well as the very heavy vocoder, rich in texture and certainly a Kraftwerk staple.

While the lyrics can be read as sort of light and silly, I like to think that the robots in question might also be dangerous. The track “Metropolis” seems to reference the seminal 1927 silent film of the same name, which is famous for its portrayal of an evil, mechanical doppelganger. Likewise, the choice to translate the lyrics of the song’s interlude into Russian is likely inspired by another great work of art from this era: the stage play R.U.R.--Rossum’s Universal Robots. Written by Karel Čapek in 1922, it’s the progenitor of the “robot revolution” trope in science fiction, the source of the word “robot” for autonomous machines in almost every human language, and one of the first entries in the illustrious career of an author who helped make Czech a true literary language. While the titular robots take time to assure us that they’re programmed to do what we humans want, should we really trust them...?

#music #kraftwerk #great albums

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archivedsardoniicxsouks · 4 years ago

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full name. Chosen Serena Montgomery // Birth Blythe Wardwell pronunciation. sə-REE-nah // blahyth meaning of name. clear, tranquil, serene // joyous, gentle, cheerful

character study taken from [ here ]

aliases. Serena / Rena // Bli age. 157 ~ appears 27 date of birth. January 31st place of birth. New England , near what's now Pownal, VT zodiac sign. Aquarius species. Bloodwitch race. Caucasian nationality. American (Dutch/English descent) gender. Female sexuality. Pansexual

profession. Store owner / activist / teacher / witch appearance. height. 5'8'' weight. 130lbs eye. light brown / cognac hair. blonde most of the time (with neon colors dyed in) complexion. type 3, neutral undertones, normal build. slender / athletic voice. ranges from silvery/singsong to smoky/husky traits. athletic, fit, average height, tan skin, some freckles along cheeks/nose and shoulders, blonde, curly/wavy hair, relationships. coven is her main / strongest relationship; her coven has 25 other people, she serves as high priestess parents. they now go by Nissa and Arthur Montgomery; both residing in Sacramento area siblings. N/A children. N/A enemies. surely witch hunters and supernatural creatures after her power mental. optimist, social, generally feels comfortable with self/emotions/life, can be naive education. she's well-versed in lore from around the world but knows more about pagan and irish; she went to college in the late 1800s for business and policies but really hasn't done much with it since she's been working with family most of her life literacy. literate languages. English, conversational in Dutch, knows some German, Norwegian, and limited Irish disorders. she has some lingering panic/anxiety over the memory of her family almost being slaughtered habits. twirls hair, taps foot, bites lips, taps nails/fingers, hums quietly when thinking/nervous, prone to daydreaming traits. positive. devoted, kind, patient, fair, spiritual, compassionate, honest, loyal neutral. adventurious, tolerant, nonbiased, absentminded, casual, high-spirited, questioning negative. naive, gullible, ignorant (with people's agendas), foolish, forgetful, self-indulgent moral alignment. chaotic neutral or chaotic good jung. ENFJ enneagram. type 7 : The entertaining optimist four temperaments. Sanguine tropes. girl next door archetypes. Ingenue / manic pixie dream girl tarot cards. The High Priestess stats : compassion. ✔ empathy. ✔ creativity. ✔ mental flexibility. ✔ passion. ✔ stamina. ✔ physical strength. ~ battle skill. ~ agility. ✔ strategy. ~ teamwork. ✔ strength. ✔ intelligence. ✔ wisdom. ✔ dexterity. ✔ constitution. ~ charisma. ✔ reflexes. ~ willpower. ✔ luck. ~ musical-rhythmic intelligence. 8/10 visual-spatial intelligence. 8/10 verbal-linguistic intelligence. 10/10 logical-mathematical intelligence. 6/10 bodily-kinesthetic intelligence. 9/10 interpersonal intelligence. 10/10 intrapersonal intelligence. 9/10 existential intelligence. 9/10 naturalistic intelligence. 9/10

#S: about;;#S: headcanons;;#((:#(( this took me forever because i wanted to do tests to get accurate types on here #LORD #worth it tho i think helped me also get a better grip for her so yAY :))))))

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justchamomiletea · 4 years ago

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the girl on the swing

have you ever seen the girl on the swing?

you would know if you saw her, she’s there day and night.

she's behind the little gas station on main, the one with the flickering blue light.

and behind the neon hue of the store next door, and the lady who smokes and the old couple that snores.

she lives under the tree that keels over just slightly, branches broken and crawling ivy,

they put up a tire swing thats real old and dusty.

she sits there quite often, at least in her head, and swings back and forth before starting again.

she pushes against that very old tree but she won’t ever break it, she's tiny, you see.

you see her brown hair and wispy cut bangs, and oversized sweaters that drape while she hangs.

and if you don’t see her, because she’s quite small, you will definitely hear her over the trucks and the cars.

she sings her sad stories and love songs of woe, and pondering verses that have nowhere to go.

and when she's not there, she swings in her dreams

and waits for the world to not be what it seems.

for she likes the world she made up in her head and the safety of her swing and the swing in her bed.

so you should go see the girl on the swing. maybe you will join her, or just hear her sing.

-t.e.v.

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365daysofsasuhina · 5 years ago

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[ 365 Days of SasuHina || Day Two Hundred Fifty: An Emergency ] [ Uchiha Sasuke, Hyūga Hinata ] [ SasuHina, blood ] [ Verse: Oil and Blood ] [ AO3 Link ]

Insomnia is a beast she just can’t tame.

Lying awake, an arm slung over her brow, Hinata stares up at her apartment ceiling. A small strip of light cuts across it from the gap between her curtains that she can never cover no matter how much she finagles with them. The neon city just outside her window doesn’t help her inability to sleep when she should. Part of her thinks to move to a quieter street, but...this one’s so close to her job, and actually has decent rent despite its great location.

...but one of these days, her sleepless nights are going to catch up with her. She’s already starting to make minor mistakes at work, and her supervisor is going to notice sooner or later.

Sighing, she lowers her forearm over her eyes. Maybe she should just...get up and go for a walk. This city quite literally never sleeps, so the action might be enough to wear her out enough to catch a few hours of rest before having to make her way to the office tomorrow.

Such a joy working in the claims department of the largest medical bionics insurance company in their city. There’s always something going wrong with someone’s biocomponents. A locked-up limb, a joint that squeaks, an eye that shorts out. As amazing as she finds the unity of biology and technology...it sure makes for a plethora of headaches.

But then again...it’s those flaws and claims that pay her salary, so...maybe she can’t complain. It’d just be nice to have a quiet day in the office. But so long as someone’s tech is on the fritz, she’ll be there to walk them through the claims process.

Not exactly how she pictured spending her early adult life, but...well, sometimes you have to compromise a dream to pay the bills.

Making up her mind, she swings her legs over the side of her bed, feet planted on the cool floor as she stands and grabs some basic clothes. Tank, sweats, sweatshirt, shoes. Just something to decently dress herself while she tries to run her brain and body a little closer to empty.

Tying up her hair in a makeshift bun, she heads out, a swipe of the chip in her palm locking the door behind her as she heads down a few flights of stairs to the ground floor.

Some things, at least, she likes to do the old fashioned way.

As soon as she steps out onto the sidewalk, it’s an assault on all her senses. Bright lights, flashing and dancing, announce the ever-present night life of a city with little need to sleep. There are just as many businesses - if not more - open for customers at night as there are during the daylight hours. Hinata’s only ventured into the city nightlife a time or two - mostly because of work and needing to be up early - but also the lingering view that only vagrants and the lifeless waste their nights being awake and active after midnight.

She herself doesn’t necessarily believe it - the streets are mostly just as safe at night as they are during the day. While the introduction of the human-machine hybrid has resulted in a slow, steady climb in crime, she lives in one of the more decent parts of the city. There’s rarely any incidents, and most revolve around the tech itself. And beyond her palm inplant for accessing her valuables and her private cellular implant for hands-free communication, Hinata’s refrained from any major modifications. Her lackluster appearances helps her blend in with those deemed less profitable in the grand scheme of things. Her mods are the most basic of the basic, and hardly worth the time.

So, hands in her pockets, she just...picks a direction and starts walking.

In a way, she really does find the nightlife and its lights pretty. The sound is a little obnoxious, but her building is new enough it’s equipped with the best sound muffling tech there is. She barely hears any of it. And she’s grown used to the scents of the city. It’s not as pleasant as a flower-filled field, but...well, the smog’s been fairly managed since new laws were passed a few years back. Otherwise, she has little to complain about on the sensory front.

As she meanders, she peers into shop windows, watching displays shift and change. Rail-thin girls model clothes next to ab-clenching guys, all with some kind of mod visible. New tech shines and glows. She’s not really interested in any of it, has no intention to buy. But it gives her something to look at and think about as she goes. If she wants to tucker out her brain, overstimulating it is probably her best bet.

Passing a small gap between buildings (a rarity these days with the demand for space), something...makes her pause. A kind of inexplicable feeling that something is wrong.

The space - a few feet wide - is nearly pitch black despite the neon lights just beyond. Refuse is piled near the mouth. Overall, it’s a typical alley beyond its narrow size. And yet…

Brow furrowing, Hinata glances back over her shoulder before looking back to the alley. This feels all sorts of stupid, but...her gut is telling her she needs to investigate. So, she carefully steps over the boxes and bags, thankful to feel concrete under her feet. Lifting her access palm, a light shines out from the tiny lens.

For several feet, there’s nothing. Just more cardboard and plastic. But as she lets the light go further...she sees feet.

...ohhh crap.

Gut tightening, Hinata weighs her options. If this is a body...she needs to report it. But if they’re alive...they probably need help. This isn’t exactly a place for someone to just...be. This is where someone ends up.

Hopping over more trash, she comes up closer. Legs bent at the knees and slumped forward with his back against the alleyway wall...is a man. Dark hair is a mess, and once she gets close enough...she realizes his left arm is missing.

It’s not as much of a shock as it might’ve been a few decades ago. Limbs are replaced all the time. Carefully crouching, she shines her light at the stump and finds a socket for a mod. As she suspected. Seems he’s one of the unlucky ones beaten and stripped for parts. But to be this close to a major city street...it’s a bit unnerving.

“...sir?” she murmurs, not daring yet to touch him. “Are...are you all right…?”

For a moment...nothing happens, and she fears he really is dead. But then his remaining hand twitches, and she hears a small groan.

He’s not doing well.

“Sir, um...do you -? Do you need some help? Should I take you to a medical facility?”

With great effort, he manages to loll his head back, and Hinata can’t help a gasp. His left eye socket is empty, clearly missing a mod as well. And given the damage...it’s obvious it was stolen in the same beat down. A bit of blood leaks from a corner of his mouth, staining his shirt.

So engrossed in the sight is she...she almost misses the tattoo just below his collarbone, the collar of his shirt ripped apart, likely from a grip along his shirtfront. A trio of tomoe stand out darkly in black ink against his pale skin...and it all sinks in.

This wasn’t just a robbery...this was yakuza activity. He’s an Uchiha…!

This...complicates things. She can’t bring him to a typical hospital. He’ll be arrested on the spot!

Nibbling her lip, Hinata glances behind her. No one else has found them...yet. In truth...she does know somewhere she can take him to get looked over and avoid the police. It’s just not...wholly legal. A partially underground operation she only found out by accident while working on a claim years back. She’s used it a few times since for her most desperate cases.

“...come on,” she murmurs, buttoning his shirt to hide the ink. “I know somewhere you’ll be safe. Just...just come with me, okay?”

Breaths short and curt, he watches as she stands, offering her hands. Grunting in pain, he manages to grip them with his remaining limb, letting her pull him up only to nearly collapse.

...this isn’t going to be easy.

Maneuvering him against a side and looping his arm over her shoulders, Hinata avoids the main street and instead follows the alley further down. Thankfully it’s only a few blocks to the little medical clinic. One versed in both the biological and technological sides to human health. Hopefully the woman who runs it is awake...or won’t mind being so in a few minutes. Hinata’s already called in quite a few favors, but...none like this one.

“Hold on...it’s n-not too far. I know a place that works...u-under the table.”

The Uchiha gives her a weary glance, clearly at a loss as to why she’s helping him in the first place...let alone going to such extremes. But...well, this is a bit of an emergency.

They’ll figure out the details later.

.oOo.

Cyberpunk AU! Something I've actually wanted to do for a while, but I'm shy over the genre cuz I've written VERY little of it, and not with either of these characters lol Poor Hinata...she goes out for a simple walk, ends up getting tangled up with a gangster xD I kinda wanna do more of this...we'll see if any other prompts fit down the road! But for now, that's all I got. Tomorrow's gonna be VERY busy, so I better go sleep! Thanks for reading~

#sasuhina #uchiha sasuke #hyūga hinata #oil and blood [ au ]#blood //#365daysofsasuhina

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gutsfired · 10 months ago

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"I doubt it since they're over a hundred years old, but you ever had a chance to use an M79 grenade launcher? I have a feeling you'd like it. The sound's a big part of the experience."

Now this was interesting. Sure she knew a lot about guns, especially the biggest and loudest ones, but she never had a chance to use anything this 'ancient'. Those weren't as easy to come by in Night City, at least not that she knew about it.

"Can't say that I have." she shook her head and looked at the person in front of her curiously. Now this could be interesting, not every conversation starts with a question so specific and aimed so well. Would anyone else be as excited about the said weapon as Rebecca was?

"Have you?" The shorter girl asked, looking at her with challenge in her eyes, but relaxed enough not to seem hostile.

#midnightactual #neon lights and neon dreams [main verse]

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obtusemedia · 5 years ago

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The best songs of the 2010s: #25-1

#25: “SICKO MODE” by Travis Scott feat. Drake (2018)

When music historians look at hip-hop’s late-’10s dominance, I have no doubt that “SICKO MODE” will be viewed as the pinnacle of the era.

Let’s just go through a checklist of what makes “SICKO MODE” an instant classic: The weirdo multi-part structure. Travis Scott’s nearly two-minute long verse with quotable lines galore. Drake somehow managing to make falling asleep on an airplane sound cool. That spooky two-word Swae Lee refrain. Multiple Jamba Juice name-drops (inspiring a hilarious meme video). An iconic, striking music video with whacked-out imagery galore.

But most importantly, it’s a stone-cold banger that will get any dance floor moving. What more could you want?

#24: “Dance Yrself Clean” by LCD Soundsystem (2010)

You might have noticed that one of the decade’s biggest musical trends — EDM — hasn’t shown up much on this list. That’s because a majority of it has already aged badly, even just a few years later. Songs like “Don’t You Worry Child” or “Wake Me Up!” certainly have their charms, but unlike the more enjoyable, trashy electropop that preceded it, most EDM hits were plodding and self-serious. And its best artist, Calvin Harris, made his best work when he drifted away from the subgenre’s rigid structure and just made pure pop music.

But my passiveness towards EDM doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate a great drop. There’s been plenty of songs on the list with incredible drops up to this point, and there’s still a couple more to come. Hell, I even halfway considered putting some Skrillex on the list just because some of his early stuff still can get your pulse pounding (even if these songs REEK of the early 10s). But there will never be a drop more bonkers than “Dance Yrself Clean.”

Indie legends LCD Soundsystem kicked off the decade with a bang with this song — but they made you wait for that bang. More than three minutes, to be exact. But those who were patient enough to sit through the quiet, drawn-out opening were treated to frontman James Murphy wailing like a madman over a shuffling beat, bouncy bass and a cascading, randomized symphony of analog synthesizers. Although I’m sure Murphy calculated every second of “Dance Yrself Clean,” it sounds like absolute anarchy. And in the moments when his screaming vocals go hoarse over the slamming synths, it’s unreal.

#23: “Born To Die” by Lana Del Rey (2011)

This was the first Lana Del Rey song I heard, back in my junior year of high school. I was immediately floored. The vocals, the cinematic orchestral sweep, the spaghetti western guitars, the tragically beautiful lyrics — it was an instant masterpiece. There was no way Lana wouldn’t be the world’s biggest popstar within a year.

A couple months later, Lana infamously bombed on Saturday Night Live, which some thought would derail her career entirely. Even after her career has survived and she’s become a critical darling with a cult fanbase, her debut album, Born To Die, and its title track still have a bit of the stink from that SNL performance. Well, no more.

“Born To Die” is a haunting gothic-pop masterpiece that’s aged much better than much early-’10s pop (although I love the corny club stuff from that era, don’t get me wrong). Lana’s smoky voice is unparalleled, the trip-hop production is untouchable.

And although her pinnacle wouldn’t come until 2014 with her sophomore album Ultraviolence, “Born To Die” is still Lana’s most perfect single to date.

#22: “Green Light” by Lorde (2017)

In 2013, Lorde completely upended the pop universe with “Royals,” a minimalist tune chastising radio hits for their un-relatable opulence. By 2017, the culture had fully gravitated towards Lorde’s moodier sound, with greyscale acts like Post Malone and Alessia Cara writing monster hits about being angsty and sad (and not in the artsy, brilliant way that worked for Kurt Cobain or Kanye). It was a far cry from the neon, bubbly world of Katy Perry and Carly Rae Jepsen from a few years prior.

The New Zealand prodigy could’ve cashed in on being ahead of the curve and continued down her minimalist moody path. But she did the opposite with the defiant and proudly energized “Green Light.” Yes, it’s a breakup anthem, but Lorde doesn’t wallow in her sadness here (she saves that for other Melodrama cuts). Instead, she wailed away into the night, playing off of the thundering drums and bouncing pianos of Jack Antonoff’s production (his best-ever).

With “Green Light,” Lorde let her ex, and the world, know that she isn’t going anywhere. She might not ever reach the commercial heights of “Royals” again, but she’ll be an icon as long as there’s heartbreak that needs overcoming.

#21: “If You Know You Know” by Pusha-T (2018)

Pusha-T’s magnum opus, “If You Know You Know,” is a masterclass in cocaine rap with its effortless wordplay, sinister-yet-charismatic flow and blaring Kanye West beat. It deserved to be the song of the summer in 2018, but the masses chose a C-tier Drake single instead (despite Push absolutely ENDING Drake that summer).

But that doesn’t diminish the achievement Push made with this song. It’s quite a feat to record your best-ever track 17 years after your breakout. It’s even more of an accomplishment when that track kicks as much ass as “If You Know You Know.”

#20: “Teenage Dream” by Katy Perry (2010)

Teenage Dream-era Katy Perry is one of pop’s all-time juggernauts. The five consecutive #1 hit singles that album racked up is a feat matched only by Michael Jackson. Of those five singles, one stands out as the clear masterpiece of the group: the album’s title track (although “T.G.I.F” is also incredible).

I remember feeling a little underwhelmed by “Teenage Dream” when I first heard it in 2010. Her last single was a goofy, bombastic summer jam complete with a ridiculous video. “Teenage Dream” is a much more conventional, timeless pop jam. The chord structure is shockingly simple and the lyrics are lovestruck notes from a ‘50s ballad.

But that simplicity is what makes the song work. “Teenage Dream” has aged well because sometimes, all you need is three chords, a monster hook and yearning lyrics. This song will be Perry’s biggest legacy.

#19: “Drunk Drivers/Killer Whales” by Car Seat Headrest (2016)

“Drunk Drivers/Killer Whales” has to be the only uplifting, U2/Nirvana-style power ballad about DUIs.

Landing smack in the middle of Car Seat Headrest’s indie rock concept album/instant-classic Teens of Denial, “Drunk Drivers” is about the main character taking stock of his entire life and emotional instability. And yes, it all centers around driving drunk — or in this case, refusing that temptation as an impetus to change one’s life.

Naturally, in the very next song on the album, it’s revealed that the narrator drove drunk and got arrested anyways. But for a cathartic six minutes, “Drunk Drivers” provides a fleeting escape from the constant loop of self-hate and depression. Not to mention that it’s a grinding ‘90s alt-rock throwback that probably makes Billy Corgan jealous.

#18: “Harmony Hall” by Vampire Weekend (2019)

I’d never guess that Vampire Weekend’s second-best song (after “Oxford Comma,” of course) would be a hippie-friendly tune combining the Grateful Dead and Screamadelica. But here we are. And awkward combination or no, Ezra Koenig knew exactly what he was doing.

In a very dark, uncertain year, Koenig decided to write a song that doubled both as a blissed-out reprieve and a nervous warning. The music is utopian, but the lyrics detail the anger, confusion and constant obstacles of life in the late ‘10s. Koenig takes a lyric from one of his previous songs — “I don’t want to live like this/but I don’t want to die” — and makes it a rallying cry for anxious Millennials around the world, paranoid that the world might not stick around much longer.

It’s a heavy topic, but the gorgeous instrumentals, breakbeat drums, lilting guitars and bouncy pianos certainly ease the stress. “Harmony Hall” is a late-career masterpiece for the ages.

#17: “Marvins Room” by Drake (2011)

Never before has a booty call sounded so sad.

Way before he ruled the pop universe, Drake was just hip-hop’s resident mope. And “Marvins Room” is peak sadboi Drake. Using a real voicemail message in the hook (that he was later sued for using), “Marvins Room” is a six-minute phone conversation in which Drake drunkenly begs his ex to come back.

On the surface, what Drake discusses are what most rappers brag about — sex, money, wealth. But in “Marvins Room,” Drake seems to view them as obstacles to his ex, who he clearly still isn’t over. When he said he had sex four times this week, he sounds disgusted with himself, not proud.

Drake doesn’t look remotely good in this song; it’s more than a little pathetic. But it feels real and raw and revealing in a way that few R&B ballads are willing to get.

#16: “Pedestrian At Best” by Courtney Barnett (2015)

Courtney Barnett’s grungy masterpiece, “Pedestrian At Best,” is appropriately angsty given its crunchy guitars and yell-y vocals. But the Melbourne singer-songwriter touches on a different kind of angst here than Pearl Jam usually tapped into: the pressure of living up to sky-high expectations.

In the early/mid ‘10s, Barnett was earning lots of hype after witty (and excellent!) early singles like “Avant Gardener” and “History Eraser.” She clearly assumed she’d screw up her debut album following up those breakout songs, as she declares herself “a fake” and “a phony” in “Pedestrian At Best.”

Arguably her generation’s best lyricist, Barnett nails her expectation to squander the public’s expectations: “Put me on a pedestal and I’ll only disappoint you/Tell me I’m exceptional, I promise to exploit you.” The ironic thing is, she did the opposite. “Pedestrian At Best” is one of the most successful songs about failing.

#15: “Ni**as in Paris” by Jay-Z and Kanye West (2011)

There was some close competition, but I don’t think there was a more quotable rap song this decade than Jay-Z and Kanye West’s crowning achievement from Watch The Throne, “Ni**as in Paris.”

The classic lines don’t stop coming throughout the minimalist banger. Jay’s verse is smooth braggadocio perfected: “I’m liable to go Michael, take your pick: Jackson, Tyson, Jordan, Game 6.” Then Kanye comes crashing in with some truly bizarre bars that are both the dumbest and greatest thing you’ve ever heard. After hearing the song, I never felt the same way about fish filets ever again.

And then, the piece de resistance — Kanye’s inspired Will Ferrell sample from Blades Of Glory. It’s one of the most left-field and iconic moments in hip-hop history, and perfectly described the song itself. “NOBODY KNOWS WHAT IT MEANS. BUT IT’S PROVOCATIVE. IT GETS THE PEOPLE GOING.” Amen.

#14: “Run Away With Me” by Carly Rae Jepsen (2015)

Carly Rae Jepsen deserved to be one of the biggest popstars of all time. She should be selling out the same arenas that Taylor Swift and Beyoncé fill. But, in what is a true tragedy, the British Columbia native is only remembered as being that singer with that one earth-shattering hit and a feverish cult following.

But despite how adorable and fun “Call Me Maybe” is, Jepsen’s true magnum opus is her 2015 album, EMOTION, and its bombastic opening track, “Run Away With Me.”

The single is a masterclass in blending ‘80s flourishes with modern production. On the thunderous chorus, the EDM synths and roaring saxophone riff work in harmony with Jepsen’s passionate vocals to create pure pop bliss. Combined with the intimate verses, the single perfectly encapsulates that butterfly-feeling of a relationship’s honeymoon stage.

“Run Away With Me” is only one of many, many Jepsen singles that would’ve been #1 smashes in a perfect world. But the lack of chart success for this one especially hurt.

#13: “Formation” by Beyoncé (2016)

Where were you when “Formation” dropped? I bet you probably remember (I was writing an essay in my college’s library).

Sure, Beyoncé’s self-titled 2013 album is the surprise drop that gets all the attention. But “Formation” came out of nowhere too a few years later, and let’s be honest — it was much better. (side note: 4 is also much better than the self-titled)

Mike Will Made It’s beat for “Formation” incorporated some Texas twang into his trap-pop production — a fitting match for a Houston legend like Beyoncé. And Bey takes heat-check shot after heat-check shot here: declaring herself the next Bill Gates; casually dropping a “swag” ad lib and magically not sounding corny as hell; making a trip to a mediocre chain seafood restaurant sound like a cool post-sex reward.

It all works. And that’s because on “Formation,” Beyoncé was as untouchable and fearless as her cutthroat stans had always proclaimed her to be. The fact that it was the triumphant coda to one of the decade’s best pop albums just cements its legend.

#12: “Old Town Road (Remix)” by Lil Nas X and Billy Ray Cyrus (2019)

It’s the longest-running #1 hit in U.S. history. An unstoppable juggernaut that held titans like Justin Bieber, Taylor Swift, Ed Sheeran and Drake from the top of the charts. And, oh yeah — it’s perfect.

There are probably a few party poopers out there who hate “Old Town Road.” I am not one of them. By 2019, pop’s grayscale, Post Malone-fueled gloom had gotten out of hand. Then out of nowhere, this teenage Nicki Minaj Twitter stan writes a goofy novelty song that’s both a parody of country clichés and a sincere celebration of the cowboy lifestyle. (It’s also the greatest country song ever written, and the entire city of Nashville can fight me on that.)

Lil Nas X has a pure charisma other artists would kill for, from his warbly, infectious chorus to his endlessly quotable verse (WRANGLER ON MY BOOTY!!). And pulling Billy Ray Cyrus away from Hannah Montana-funded retirement to drop a shockingly fire verse about living the luxury lifestyle in Beverly Hills? There’s no way this wouldn’t be one of my all-time favorites.

Sometimes, when it comes to predicting future classics, you’ve just got to trust the screaming elementary schoolers.

#11: “Midnight City” by M83 (2011)

“Midnight City” sounds like what Space Mountain feels like.

The decade’s best electronic song is so perfect as to be almost alien, yet also remarkably warm and human. And just when you thought the song couldn’t get better, the second-greatest sax solo of all time (only behind “Jungleland”) bursts out of the neon layers of synth.

M83 has a catalogue stuffed with stunning retro synthpop bangers. The fact that “Midnight City” towers above them all is a testament to the song’s sheer majesty.

#10: “All Too Well” by Taylor Swift (2012)

Yes, I’m aware that this is the obvious Taylor Swift pick for this list. But Swift’s literary masterwork, “All Too Well,” hits me too hard to deny it.

“All Too Well” is so packed with vivid details and intense emotional swings that it feels like more like a short story backed by arena-rock instrumentation more than a pop song. From her an abandoned scarf tucked in a drawer, to her ex’s mother embarrassing him with his dorky child photos, to the phone-call breakup that was “casually cruel in the name of being honest,” Swift didn’t leave anything out.

Coupled with her songwriting, Swift’s vocals also make “All Too Well” her pinnacle. She reaches into her upper register so rarely that it sends shivers whenever she does, like on the emphatic climax here.

If it catches me in the right mood, Swift’s performance, the lilting guitars and cutting lyrics in “All Too Well” brings a few tears to my eyes. (Yes, really.) It’s only fitting that one of the greatest breakup anthems of all time is sung by a master of the artform.

#9: “Ivy” by Frank Ocean (2016)

I was very tempted to put Frank Ocean’s 10-minute synthpop epic “Pyramids” on the list instead. Make no mistake — if it wasn’t for my self-imposed one-song-per-artist rule, both it and “Ivy” would’ve placed highly.

But “Ivy” is a heart-stopper. It’s a fairly simple song, with just Ocean’s raw vocals playing off the languid guitars. To pull a song like this off, you have to be a double-threat, a genius lyrically and a stunning singer. Ocean fits that bill.

“Ivy” is the decade’s greatest R&B song, a heartbreaking ode to a slowly crumbling relationship.

#8: “The Edge Of Glory” by Lady Gaga (2011)

Lady Gaga’s best songs hit you like a brick to the face. Gaga — the greatest pop star of the 21st century, don’t @ me — has plenty of pop bangers that do this, particularly on the wildly underrated Artpop (shoutout to the insane and insanely fun “G.U.Y.”). But arguably none of her singles provide as much maximalist pleasures as “The Edge Of Glory.”

The track reeks of trying too hard in the best way possible. Gaga reaches into her upper vocal register frequently, scratching her upper limits every time she reaches the chorus. The production is a messy-but-beautiful jumble of slamming synths and drum machines. And that Clarence Clemons sax solo — one of the last musical contributions he made before his death that same year — is just the icing on top of the gloriously sugary cake.

Gaga’s over-the-top synthpop from her early years isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. But for someone like me, who wants pop to feel as massive and inescapable as humanly possible, “The Edge Of Glory” is still a towering high-water mark.

#7: “Pay No Mind” by Beach House (2018)

This spot could’ve been taken by any number of Beach House songs, the modern masters of dream-pop. “Space Song,” “Myth,” “Take Care” — the Baltimore duo honed in on a specific musical style and perfected it.

To me, “Pay No Mind” is the culmination of those years of Beach House subtly tinkering with their hazy, nocturnal sound. It’s like a gothic wedding slow-dance song: the right rhythm and with a romantic feel, but maybe a bit too gloomy for your grandparents. But regardless, “Pay No Mind” is breathtakingly beautiful, like seeing neon lights through the fog.

#6: “m.A.A.d. city” by Kendrick Lamar feat. MC Eiht (2012)

If you haven’t tried to memorize the nearly two-minute uninterrupted opening verse of “m.A.A.d. city,” were you even alive in the early ‘10s?

Kendrick Lamar has written many hip-hop epics in his career so far, but so far none have topped the semi-title track from his major label debut, good kid, m.A.A.d. city. In that concept album about Lamar’s teen years growing up amidst the gang warfare in Compton, “m.A.A.d city” marks the point where the gangsta dream shifts into a horrifying nightmare.

The song is a blur of murder, violence and police sirens. Lamar sounds positively terrified on the track, his voice cracking while he confesses. And bringing on old-school rapper MC Eiht to play a veteran gang member snapping Lamar out of his haze was a brilliant move. “m.A.A.d city” is an exhilarating tour-de-force that proved how much raw talent, in both flow and storytelling, Lamar had.

#5: “Somebody Else” by The 1975 (2016)

If Vampire Weekend is the most important band of the early ‘10s, then The 1975 is the most important band of the rest of the decade. Their transformation from (really good!) simple pop-rock to tacking incredibly dark subject matter while successfully taste-testing their way through nearly every musical genre was unexpected. And brilliant, seeing as they pulled it off.

But The 1975′s best track is much less capital-I important than most of their epics about Trump or suicide or heroin — it’s a synthpop song about complicated post-breakup emotions. But “Somebody Else” earns its keep as the band’s pinnacle through sheer relatability. It nails that complicated feeling of being over someone...but not really. Or as lead singer Matty Healy puts it bluntly: “I don’t want your body/but I’m picturing your body with somebody else.”

The shuffling drum machine groove and icy synths complete a perfect song for wandering aimlessly at night, longing for a lost love. And although The 1975 might switch sounds endlessly in their career, their sweet spot will always be this moody ‘80s update.

#4: “TiK ToK” by Ke$ha (2010)

“TiK ToK” is still easily the peak of the 2009-12 pop golden age. It has a bit of everything you’d want in a single from that era: Gloriously grimy synths! An uber-catchy chorus with plenty of demands to party! And of course, a charismatic and unforgettable star who can deliver the song. I don’t think anyone would argue Ke$ha fit that role to a T.

When “TiK ToK” first arrived around the turn of the decade, I couldn’t stand it. I thought it was too sleazy. Nearly 10 years later, Ke$ha’s performative sleaziness is exactly what makes this song so fun. Yeah, the hook is bulletproof and the production is buzzy. But Ke$ha’s slurred, drunken delivery and ridiculous lines are what have kept “TiK ToK” in the public consciousness. She single-handedly made P. Diddy and especially Mick Jagger relevant again. She made brushing your teeth with Jack Daniels seem cool (and not insanely nasty, like it actually is). Every single ridiculous line, sung through Ke$ha’s fake valley girl accent, is a gem.

I can understand how someone wouldn’t like the unfiltered debauchery and greasiness of “TiK ToK.” But to me, that’s the entire charm of it, and what makes it stand out amongst a sea of similarly-minded club jams from its era.

#3: “Runaway” by Kanye West feat. Pusha-T (2010)

I was going to ask all of you to forget about Kanye West’s recent stumbles, be it his association with Donald Trump or his insistence that slavery was a choice. But the power of “Runaway” is that it is a semi-apology from a man who knows he’s deeply flawed. Every one of Kanye’s gaffes and terrible decisions makes “Runaway” even more relevant today.

But “Runaway” was originally a response to Kanye’s infamous “Imma let you finish” rant at the 2009 VMAs, where he interrupted Taylor Swift. The song basically operates as a semi-apology to the world for being, as he puts it, a douchebag. An asshole. A scumbag. A jerkoff. He’s somewhat bragging about his misdeeds, while sheepishly asking for forgiveness.

And yet, it’s an extremely vulnerable song. The bridge — “I guess that you’re at an advantage/Cause you can blame me for everything/And I don’t know how Imma manage/If one day you just up and leave” — initially feels like something Kanye is saying to a lover. But really, he’s saying it to all of us. And it’s arguably the most moving moment in his whole career.

#2: “Get Lucky” by Daft Punk feat. Pharrell and Nile Rodgers (2013)

Don’t think about it too hard, folks.

Considering that Daft Punk are the greatest dance-music artists of all time, it only makes sense that they’d dip their toes into disco and absolutely KILL it. And that’s all “Get Lucky” is. Two French masters making their grand comeback by recruiting one of funk’s finest guitarists and one of the 2000s’ most charismatic vocal presences.

“Get Lucky” will be a wedding dance staple until the sun explodes. And it deserves that status. It’s a flawless dance track. Just embrace the groove.

#1: “Archie, Marry Me” by Alvvays (2014)

My favorite song of the 2010s wasn’t a part of some major trend. It wasn’t particularly influential. It doesn’t have any profound meaning, and it didn’t try to tackle a major event. “Archie, Marry Me” just happens to be the greatest indie pop song ever written.

Every little aspect of Toronto band Alvvays’ debut single works, from the surf-y guitars to lead singer Molly Rankin’s monotone-yet-yearning vocals. With its lo-fi ramshackle charm and monster hook, “Archie, Marry Me” is all you could want in a dream-pop single. It even has the nice touch of echoing a Neil Young classic in the chorus.

The whole intention of this list — as it is with any of my year-end lists — is simply to measure which songs made me the happiest; which songs never wore out on me. And no single this decade puts a bigger smile on my face than “Archie, Marry Me.” It’s simple, achingly romantic (in a Wes Anderson-esque half-ironic way, but still), and I wouldn’t change a thing about it.

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blasphoeme · 6 years ago

Text

I Love You More Than Ice Cream

It’s A Date

Chap 5/?

Chapter Summary:

Jon takes Dany on their very first date. A dinner for two under the starry sky, talks of childhood shenanigans and a relatively large revelation about Jon comes to light. How will things go? Will they have a good time? Will the night end with a sweet goodnight in a meeting of lips for the very first time? Read on my dear readers XD.

Can be read on Ao3 too. Along with the previous chaps 1, 2, 3, 4. :)

A small smile edged its way onto her lips, inch by inch, growing and growing into a huge grin as she took in the view before her. An inexplicable sense of surprise settled in her belly and blossomed into wonder. Nestled behind the bright towering neon letters displaying the word ‘diner’ was a rooftop garden.

Though the area wasn’t very spacious, pots and planters housing various flowers and herbs galore were lined up neatly in two rows starting from the metal gate and along the perimeter of the space. Spindly leafy appendages bobbed in time with the cool evening breeze. The earthy scent of dirt, picked up by the circulating air currents harmonized wonderfully with the sweet exotic aroma of plants. Creeper vines twisted their nimble bodies around the steel skeleton of the neon sign, inching all the way up the pillars, across the wooden beams of the pergola overhead. Intermingled with the leaves were fairy lights, posing as wannabe stars that twinkled faintly against the backdrop of the setting sun. In the middle of the garden sat a table, decked out for two.

Ambling slowly behind Dany with his hands tucked into his jeans pockets, Jon’s eyes tracked her every move as she navigated her way through the garden. He could barely contain his joy, so thrilled to see the wide-eyed look of fascination on her face. He thanked his lucky stars for having such a supportive family who were more than ecstatic when he told them he was bringing his crush on a date. His uncle immediately pushed for them to have it at this very diner. To be more original, Arya then suggested that they modify the venue a little. Instead of eating in the diner, crammed into a booth during dinner rush, having to shout to hear each other over the crowd, why not make it a little more romantic? They’d spend the past week preparing for this moment. From the menu, to the decorations and the flower bouquet he gifted to her. Gaping at the splendour around her, at the flora with hues of every shade of the rainbow, taking it all in, Dany was in awe. Along the little path between the plants she went, she also spotted several pots of daisies sitting in a corner. Jon must have picked each flower one by one to form the bouquet for her. All around her, every plant in the garden looked healthy and strong, making her wonder just how much labour and love was poured into tending to this magical little sanctuary, hidden away from the eyes of the people on the street.

As she neared the clearing where the table was, a flash of colour at her periphery caught her eye. Huddled amongst the miscellaneous flora was an unusual rose bush. Stopping before it, she got onto her haunches to get a closer look. Never had she seen roses of that colour nor had she smelt a scent so sweet. The blossoms, just beginning to bloom wore a hue of the bluest, clearest sky on a sunny cloudless day. Under her thumb the unmarred azure petals were of the smoothest of velvet. “You’ve never been here before now have you?” Glancing up at her date for the night, who had came to a stop by her side, Dany stated dryly: “If I did, I would’ve been trespassing on private property.” Just then, the puppy in her arms that she had almost forgotten was there, started to wiggle, whining to be let down. “You want to go explore too little guy? Okay.” Dany placed Ghost onto the concrete ground. As soon as he landed, he darted forwards in a run before turning the corner and disappearing behind the back wall like he was accustomed with the place already. Strange. “You’re here! Finally!“ Following the voice, Dany was pleasantly surprised to find a petite young woman standing by a small door that looked to be a dumbwaiter sitting in the wall. “Welcome to Lone Wolf Diner where the pack serves fries, free with every main course you order!” The girl continued, reciting the well-versed motto of her family’s diner. With a gasp and a happy heart, quick steps brought her over to the girl. Pulling her in for a big hug, Dany squealed. “Arya! It’s so good to see you again. It’s been a while, hasn’t it?” “Hi! And yes it has been too long. We’ve missed hanging out with you so much.” Arya hugged her back, tightly. She liked Dany very much. Memories of nights staying up late with her siblings way pass their bed time, cuddled into Dany’s sides on the couch, gorging on snacks whilst a Disney movie played on the television were the catalysts for the fondness she held for her favourite babysitter. Plus, the woman, then teenager made really yummy treats. She’d always had a knack for it. Arya drew back from their hug, still clutching Dany’s hands in hers. Her large grey eyes were sparkling with hopeful glee. “Now that you’re dating Jon.... Maybe you’d be around more often.”

“Wait... you guys know each other?”

“I should have told you earlier but we didn’t gotten the chance to. We’re family and Arya’s my cousin.” Moving over to the table, Jon pulled out a chair for Dany before turning to look at her expectantly with a touch of hesitance and sheepishness. He hoped she didn’t feel miffed about his identity. His family was her competition after all.

Wordlessly applauding Jon’s gallantry, Arya tugged a gawping Dany by the arm over to the table and shepherded her into her seat. “Thank you.” Dany muttered absently over her shoulder to Jon as he pushed her chair in like the gentleman he was. Once Jon was seated opposite her, Dany looked between him and Arya in complete bafflement. “Mister Stark’s your uncle? Mister Benjen has a child?” “Oh no, Jon is Auntie Lyanna’s son.” Arya commented. “Lyanna? I never knew Mister Stark had a sister.” “My mum left to explore the world when she turned twenty one with nothing but a suit case and a thirst for adventure. Long story short, she met my dad who was on vacation in Greece, fell in love and had me. She hasn’t been back here in ages because she says she has so much more to see of this world and she would only return when she’s done. They’re currently in New Zealand now.” “Auntie Lyanna is such a badass! Sometimes, we get to talk with her on the phone or even video call and she’s always in a different country every time! She’s my inspiration.” Arya gushed with complete admiration for her globe-trotting aunt. Looking to Jon, she added as forethought, “Your dad is a total badass too of course. Can’t forget him.” “Thanks.” Jon smiled, fiddling with the fork laid out for him on the table. His parents were definitely not the most conventional kind. The years of his childhood up till the age of fifteen, just before his grandparents enrolled him into the boarding school his father had attended as a child in England, were spent in foreign countries. The things he learnt about the people, the culture, all that knowledge that comes from traveling had shaped him into the man he was today. “That’s amazing. Your parents are such courageous people and you must have had such a fun childhood!” Dany couldn’t help feeling a tad bit envious. Traveling the world, visiting distant lands, soaking up all that the world had to offer? That would be the perfect life. An ambitious dream that she’d had since forever. “I hope to tick that off my bucket list one day. To leave my footprints all around the world and see everything.” “Oh.... Why don’t you guys go together? Start off with New Zealand to visit Auntie Lyanna, meet the parents and all that.” Voicing her suggestion, Arya waggled her dark brows at Dany while clapping a hand repeatedly on Jon’s shoulder. Teasing Jon alone was hardly this entertaining! The two adults before her were growing as red as the beetroots that her mother cultivated in summer. She could nearly feel the heat radiating off the two of them. I could even fry eggs on the apples of their cheeks, she thought. “All right, okay I’ll stop messing with you two now. You guys are just so adorable. Sheesh!” Arya scampered back to the dumbwaiter. “My main mission for coming up here was to inform you that your food would come straight up from the kitchen downstairs in this contraption.” Patting the shiny metal door she elaborated, “When you’re done with each course, just send the dishes back down with this button and the next course will be sent up for you.” Jon and Dany nodded at her instructions mutely, each looking down at their feet and fingers respectively, their faces aflame. Maybe just one more time wouldn’t hurt? Never one to miss a chance at letting her trickster side out, Arya didn’t even bother putting a stopper on her next ploy. “Before I go, you want to know something stinkingly cute, Dany?” “Hmm?” At the mention of her name, Dany’s head shot up to Arya from staring at her twiddling fingers lying on her lap. “This guy here?” Locking an arm around her cousin’s neck, Arya revealed to Dany something Jon probably would never for the life of him, want her to find out about. “He spent the whole morning looking at his reflection giving himself a stern pep talk on what to say, what to do and to not freak out when he goes to pick you up.” Arya was bouncing with excitement. She’d been waiting a whole week for this moment to do this. Some would say it was mean but she liked to think it was what family did, practical jokes, endless teasing and tasteful pranks of course. His embarrassment from before hadn’t even faded and now this? Jon’s jaw fell in mortification. Glancing at Dany out of the corner of his eye, the mirthful surprise dancing within her pretty purple eyes and the daintily arched brow had a further gush of heat rushing straight up to his head like the mercury line of a thermometer, forcing his face to heat up even more. Reaching around Arya, his arms flailed as he tried to stop her blabbing. He had to curb to spill of words from her mouth. His grumbles of ‘Shut up, Arya!’ did nothing to stop her, cackling ecstatically to herself, Arya’s slender fingers wound themselves tightly around Jon’s wrists. With a strong grip, developed from years of rough housing with her three brothers, she held Jon’s hands effortlessly away from her face. She was on a roll and she wasn’t going to let him stop her. “I could go on all day about how panicky he’d been since he came home from meeting you last week. This was the first time we’ve ever seen broody Jon this uncharacteristically... un-broody. Beaming like a loon while staring into space thinking about you. He couldn’t even go two sentences without mentioning your name!” “I don’t do that.... surely?” Jon uttered indignantly to himself, struggling to free his hands from Arya’s claws. “Oh yes. You sure do!” Noticing Dany’s hands clamped over her mouth and the tremor in her shoulders, filled Arya with a smug sense of accomplishment. “If you didn’t know before, this man is downright smitten with you!” The plaintive groans from the man behind her only spurred her on even more. “Naturally, we couldn’t let this chance pass him by! We all pitched in to set up this date for the both you!” The five siblings minus their eldest brother, Robb, who was busy with his job and a baby on the way, had spent the day hanging up the fairy lights, rearranging the pots and cleaning up the rooftop, making it presentable for their guest. Abruptly, she let go of Jon’s wrists causing him to fall back down into his seat, landing on his bum with an ‘oof!’.

Swapping out playfulness with sincerity, Arya took a step closer to where Dany sat. “He really, really likes you, Dany. We hope you feel the same for him too.” Taking the young girl’s hands in hers and squeezing them, Dany couldn’t deny that Arya’s revelation, knowing that he was just as anxious and happy about their date as her only made Jon all the more favourable in her eyes. Meeting the eyes of the blushing, endearing man across the table, she informed the two of them and herself out loud for the first time, “It just so happens, I like him a lot too.” There was a swooping in his tummy like a rollercoaster, free falling to the pull of gravity before shooting back up again. Jon grinned, his brown eyes squinting intensely from the push of his smile. They were trained on the dark wood of the table. Nowhere near the stunning woman he knew was watching him with her twinkling eyes. She likes him! “Aww you guys are so sweet!” Arya cheered. The man that was her favourite cousin, technically only cousin but it still counted, wore the dopiest grin she’d ever seen strung across his lips. Her favourite babysitter looked so demure, giving the man on the other side of the table bashful glances from beneath her lashes, accompanied by a red tinge on her face. Their happiness seemed to light them up from the inside out. Arya’s own smile softened into relieved one. It was evident that these two silly lovebirds were made for each other. Deciding it was time to stop bugging them, Arya coughed just loud enough to draw Jon and Dany’s mooneyes away from each other, she bid them farewell. “I’ll leave you guys alone now. Enjoy your dinner! I’ll see you around, Dany!” “It’s been great seeing you again!” Dany said, watching as the brunette girl tossed a quick wave in her direction before going around the wall that Ghost had disappeared behind. Leaning forward, she caught a glimpse of a glass sliding door slide shut, followed by the closing of a retractable folding door with wooden shutters. With Arya gone the rooftop became so quiet, save for the two people seated giggling at each other, suddenly shy again. Dany’s admission of her feelings for her date came rolling back, slamming into them both like a torrent of untameable waves. Idly tracing a line against the grain of the wooden table with his finger, Jon voiced that singular, blaring thought that had been whirling through his mind for the past few minutes: “So.... you... like me?” He looked like a young boy kicking at stones with his feet as he waited for his crush to push him away, waiting for her to decide that she didn’t want to play with him anymore because he wasn’t cool like the big kids.

Dany nodded resolutely. It was too late to turn back now, might as well take it all with her chin held high. “Yes.” She could hardly believe that she had said it right in front of his face without any hesitation at all! All this while she never told a soul save for Missandei. She hadn’t even dared to declare those feelings to herself yet! Where did that courage come from, she wondered. Heart hammering hard behind the curve of her ribs, Dany pondered at how miraculous the human body was. How was it that seeing Jon smile at her could have her feeling so peculiarly wonderful, all fuzzy and effervescent on the inside? “They say first impressions are everything. First dates even more so I think. I hadn’t come clean about my family to you before today and you had to hear all about my awkward self just now thanks to my pesky relative. You still like me?” Those wide chocolate orbs looking back at her were teeming with an open vulnerability that sent her heart lurching. He was so beautiful, how could she not adore him? “Oh, Jon. I’m very happy that you’re related to the Starks. They watched me grow up and your uncle has helped me so much with my business, I owe them a lot. Don’t be sorry for not telling me sooner. As you mentioned, we’ve haven’t had the time.” Threading her fingers with his, Dany marvelled at how perfectly their digits slid into place, hers within the gaps of his and his within hers. “And if you must know, I meant what I said. I like you and your awkward self very, very much.” “Well.... I’m immensely pleased to hear that.” Jon gave the slender fingers linked with his a light squeeze. Tenderly, his thumb began to move. “I just so happen to like you a lot too. You and your perfect self.” And he truly did. This was a long time coming confession since the moment his heart was struck down by the sight of her smile. Transfixed, Dany watched the path of Jon’s thumb as it outlined the curve between her index finger and thumb. His feather light touch stirred up a flurry of goose bumps all over her body and a need for something, something more. Subconsciously, she wriggled in her seat, crossing and uncrossing her legs.Expelling a tremor-laden chuckle, Dany professed, “Believe me when I say I’m not perfect. You haven’t see the side of me that’s not on a date with a handsome man yet.” “Oh. I hope you don’t mind if I stick around to find out then?” His voice adopted that hopeful lilt once more. She called him handsome. His stomach did a summersault. “I’d like that, yes. Very much actually.” She wondered if they would get to the point where they could be comfortably unglamorous around each other. The two of them lounged in front of the television, gorging on greasy pizzas or mornings where the first thing they saw of each other was messy bed head. She prayed they’d get there one day. Just then the mechanism within the little food elevator came on, producing a whirring noise, leading up to a cheery ‘ding’. The little button beside the door lit up too. Their dinner was served.

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Reluctantly letting go of her hand, Jon went over to the dumbwaiter. Pushing the doors apart, two steaming bowls of par green soup were revealed, served on a wooden tray. A folded piece of cream-colored paper sat word side down like an erected tent in between the bowls. Lifting the tray from the metal box, Jon brought it over to their table. Careful not to spill any of the soup, he served a bowl to his eagerly awaiting date first and then himself. The tantalizing fragrance of something rich and earthy hit Dany’s nose as it wafted up into the air with the steam. “Oh... I can’t wait to try this. Looks and smells like asparagus or could it be peas? What does that note say?” Picking up the folded note, Jon’s eyes gave it a skim. “Hello young lovers...” Relishing in Dany’s tinkle of a giggle, lips twitching upwards in response, he continued, “To start off your evening, I have prepared a cream based soup that features the freshest of spring ingredients - asparagus, peas and fennel. Spring is a time for new beginnings and new relationships alike. I hope you’ll have a splendid date and may your budding romance flourish like a blossom coming to bloom under the nurturing hand of nature. Love, Ned, your chef and hopefully family in due time.” Family! Nibbling on her lower lip, a new wave of heat simmered under her skin at Ned’s pointedly written words directed at her. It was all too soon. Dare she hope to be a part of Jon’s family? Tucking an errant tendril of hair behind her ear, she begged her heart to stop pounding just enough for her to get through this dinner. Resting the paper on the table, Jon gulped, shoving the torrent of flustered nerves back into the depths of his belly. His uncle really was too much sometimes. He’d been so preoccupied with trying to make her notice him that the idea of having Dany in his life forever never even had the chance to cross his mind yet. Having her successfully look his way was a miracle in itself! One day in the future, perchance she’d have him entirely, for a long, long time. Only then, he’d consider himself, truly, the luckiest man on earth. “Umm... So... Shall we?”

“Yes. Let’s eat! Bon appétit.”

Dunking her spoon it into her bowl, Dany swirled the dollop of cream around until it blended in with the milky, pale green, piping hot liquid goodness. The little cubes of toasted bread floated like isles in a sea of green.

Desperately needing something to calm the fluttering in her middle, she brought the spoon back up and towards her lips before taking a sip. The moan that flew out of her lips, still attached to the spoon would have made her blush if she wasn’t already ladling another spoonful of the wonderful warm soup into her mouth. It could easily be the best thing she’d ever tasted. The earthy sweet flavourful medley of asparagus, peas and fennel was strong upon her tongue, yet it left a light, refreshing aftertaste, making her want more. If tea was a hug in a mug, this soup was like consuming liquid sunshine. Before she knew it, she had reached the bottom of her bowl. Sitting across from her, Jon slurped up his soup just as speedily, just noticing how famished he was having not eaten much all day, too anxious to ingest anything but a few bites of toast that morning. Sitting back in his seat feeling satisfied, Jon smacked his lips, savouring any remnant taste of the soup in his mouth. Having eaten his food every day, he could really attest that his uncle truly was a very capable chef. Judging from Dany’s gleaming bowl, he could tell that she would thoroughly agree with him.

“Shall I send our dishes back done and move on to the main course?” “Yes please!” Already moving to place her empty bowl and used spoon back onto the tray that it came from, Dany replied, her enthusiasm palpable. Down the dishes went and up came more. This time, it was two serves of warm lasagna and a bottle of red to go with them. “Oh! I haven’t had this in ages!” The familiar fragrance of tomato, onions, garlic, minced beef and Italian herbs filled the air. “You know I used to come to the diner after school every day just to have Mister Stark’s lasagna?” “I think my uncle must have known that.” Lifting up the note that came with their food, Jon flipped it the right side up before taking in the scrawl of letters. “Ah! Yes. He said so right here.” This note was much shorter than the last, lacking in more teasing quips, thank the gods. “‘For your main course, a classic from this very diner and a favourite of a certain little lady with the purple eyes. The bottle of Merlot goes really well with the red sauce.’” The layers of pasta, meat sauce and cheese caved under the pressure of her fork like butter under the blade of a hot knife. Lifting the fork towards her mouth, pulling a string of gooey melted cheese along with it, Dany blew on the forkful hastily before popping it into her mouth. The taste was just as she remembered, transporting her instantly back to the days of her youth when she’d run over to the diner instead of going home for lunch. “My mum could never make it quite as good as his. Don’t ever tell her I said that. She’s great with numbers but she isn’t that much of a cook.” Pouring some wine into a wine glass for Dany and then tipping some into his own, Jon smiled a wistful smile. An image of the cutest little girl with silver curls and lavender eyes like a doll formed in his mind. What would it have been like to grow up with her? Would they have been good friends? Would they have found themselves in their current state much sooner? “What I wouldn’t give to meet little you. I bet you were just as wonderful as you are now.” “Mm.” Shaking her head with her mouth stuffed, Dany chewed quickly and swallowed. “Wonderful? I wouldn’t go that far. I’ll have you know that I was quite naughty as a child. Detention was my best friend in high school.” Taking a sip of his wine, Jon couldn’t help but disagree. “I find that hard to believe.” “It’s true! You see I had a bad boy jock boyfriend at the time. I used to get up to lots of silly, sometimes not so nice antics just to get myself into detention so I could be with him a little more.” A ruefully half smirk tugged at her lips from behind her wine glass. “When he dumped me after two years, a veil had lifted and I could finally see that in my strive to keep him with me the people around me got hurt.” Thumbtacks scattered upon a teacher’s chair, gum in their hair, all the notorious things that she never would have done if she were given another chance to relive her childhood. Her parents were so disappointed in her. “I did get over him eventually and the pain didn’t last for long. After that, I knew I had to change. So, I apologized to everyone I hurt and I worked hard in school. I got into college and all the rest was history. Time heals even the deepest of wounds I suppose.” ”I need to put it out there. That jackass was an idiot for leaving you.” How could anyone do that to someone like her? He would never, ever have left her. “And for what it’s worth, you were just a child then. I think we’ve all done things we aren’t too proud of as kids. Whether it was to fit in or earn the affection of someone we liked.” Giving Jon’s arm a gentle squeeze, Dany gave him a grateful smile, passing along a silent ‘thank you’. He understood her. The chance of finding someone who you could relate to was so slim. Someone like him was rare in the world. For that, she counted herself extremely blessed.

“What I am most intrigued about now is… What, may I ask, did you do as a boy that was so shameful?“ “All I’m going to say is that it involved drunkenness, a bottle of the headmaster’s whiskey and a dare.” Dany’s eyebrow rose up high. She could venture a guess as to the outcome from all the clues he dropped and it sounded like an entertaining tale. “What happened?” “Not telling.” Batting her eyelashes coquettishly, putting on her best puppy dog eyes, Dany pleaded with him. “Tell me... please...?” This woman would be the death of him. He was sure of it. How was he to deny her anything when she looked like that? Groaning under effect of those large doe like eyes of hers, his resolve crumbled like a house of cards.“Fine. I will tell you on one condition that this stays between us and only us. No one else can know about this.” Index finger drawing a cross over her heart, Dany gave him a solemn nod in promise. “I won’t tell anyone.” Resting her forearms on the table, interlocking her fingers on the table, Dany leant forward, ready to listen to whatever sordid tale Jon had to tell. Taking a gulp of his wine, shifting to mimic Dany’s posture, Jon commenced his tale. He regaled her of a drunken night of partying, which lead to a classic game of truth or dare. Bolstered by the copious amounts of beer and spiked punch, young Jon chose to participate in a dare which required him to steal the bottle of Jameson stored in the bottom left drawer of his headmaster’s desk. Simple enough, right? How naïve he was. Just sneak in quick, pick the lock and get out. Unfortunately for him, there was a catch. He had to run from the dorms to the other side of the campus.

Naked as the day he was born. “No.... You didn’t!” “You can bet all the money in the world that I did.” There he went in the dark of night, butt naked, streaking across the campus grounds. His gaggle of drunken friends followed behind him, giggling like schoolgirls. Up the stairs they went, stopping just outside their destination. To their utmost joy, the office door was unlocked! In Jon crept, his friends waiting outside the corridor for him to emerge victorious. “There I stood without a stitch on me, clumsily fumbling with the handle of the drawer, trying so hard to pull it open. Until, it came to me that I didn’t know how to pick a lock. To make matters worse, the headmaster chose that very moment to traipse back into his office.” “Oh dear...” Dany cringed. She had an inkling of what was coming. His fellow dorm mates and friends had bailed on him once they caught sight of Mr Montgomery’s shiny baldhead. In the end, their pajama-clad headmaster caught a very exposed, totally hammered, teenage Jon standing by his desk trying to break into his finest whiskey. Shrugging as nonchalantly as he could Jon casually picked up his wine glass and swirled the maroon liquid around. “I spent two weeks on kitchen duty after and none of the boys would let me forget that night. I was pretty much a legend.” “A shameless one at that!” A bark of laughter erupted from Dany’s mouth. She was so glad that she wasn’t drinking her wine. Otherwise, it would have gone up her nose and projected everywhere. “I’m glad my plight amuses you.” Jon said appreciating how charming Dany looked succumbed to the call of full belly chortles. Her laughter filled him with veneration and pride knowing that he brought it to light. Everyone knows a good meal cannot end without dessert. For such a special occasion, Ned had created something new for them - a s’more pie. Sitting on two plates were two generously large slices. A base of crushed Graham crackers, a filling of decedent dark chocolate mousse topped with pieces of toasted marshmallows. Just as the last two courses, this final one was enjoyed and disappeared in the blink of an eye betwixt a volley of banter and a chorus of laughter. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Dad! Leave the two of them alone.” Sansa laughed. Her father had his hands cupped around his eyes straining to peek through the wooden shutters at the two little lovebirds dining outside. Looking over the railing from his position a top the spiral staircase leading to the roof, Ned asked his brood: “Aren’t you curious about how things are going? My only baby sister’s son is on a date! The last time he was here he was just a wee boy of four! I was never there to see him grow up and I’ve definitely never had the chance to see him bring a girl home before.” His arms waving about animatedly and his eyes exaggeratedly wide as he sprinted back up the steps.“Oh.... I need to document every second of this fine moment for your aunt. Do they like my food?” Arya and Rickon were practically rolling on the carpet laughing at their dramatic daddy. Rolling her eyes, Sansa shook her head once more before turning back to her laptop. Rickon gave his brother, Bran’s leg a shake only to get a grunt in return. Frowning at his brother’s engrossment in his book. The fool is missing out with his nose always stuck in a book! Looking up at his father’s back, he pointed out a very obvious problem. “You’re not doing it right, daddy! The wood is blocking your eyes! You need to open the window to see.” Ned pried away one of the loose pieces of wood from the shutters with a triumphant ‘hah!’. Pressing his ear to the strip of glass revealed all he heard was muffled laughter and conversation. With his eyes cupped to erase any trace of a reflection, he could see their silhouettes in the dark pretty well thanks to the fairy lights they’d strung up. Jon and Dany seemed to be having a good time, animatedly chatting over their dessert with smiles plastered on their faces. Replacing the wooden plank in its rightful place, Ned knew Lyanna would be happy to know that her quiet son had found himself a nice girl. “Or... we could sneak a camera out there to watch them! That way you could document their interactions properly too. Why didn’t I think of this sooner! From the way they were mooning all over each other even with me standing right there, this has got to be good!” Bolting up from her sprawled position within her nest of pillows on the floor that she was sharing with Rickon, Arya’s eyes glowed with excitement. Her new prototype could finally be taken out for a trial run! “I’ll go and get it for you. I have just the thing!” “Hold on a minute, kiddo.” Ned caught his pesky daughter around her shoulders and reeled her in to him. Peering up at her father, she asked in her most innocent voice: “When did you come back down from there, daddy? You’re very quick.” Ruffling her head of raven curls that matched his own minus the odd strands of grey, Ned’s heart swelled with love. They said a parent should never have a favourite child, but he couldn’t help it. Even though he loved all his children, all five of them very much, Arya was his baby girl. “I think filming them might be a bit too intrusive. Your sister is right. Let’s give them their space to be better acquainted.” “Aww man! My miniature camera goes untested once again!” Hugging her father around his waist, she nuzzled her face into his chest and whined. Patting her hair, Ned smiled. No matter how big she got, she was still his headstrong, spirited, incredibly bright baby girl. Now, he had to make an international call to New Zealand. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- With sated bellies, minds a buzz from the wine, the two budding lovers meandered along the vacant streets, hands finding each other’s in the dark. Reaching the street that would take them to Dany’s home, she huddled closer into Jon’s side, not out of fear for what loitered in the night but for the reassurance that he was truly real and to prove that the lovely evening they’d spent together truly did happen. Each step they took, dawdled a little more the closer they got to their destination. Taking pauses every few seconds to just bask in each other’s presence for a little while longer. Neither of them wanted the night to end that soon. “I’ve loved every second of this evening, Jon. Please give my compliments to the chef and I think he’d be happy to know that I may have gotten some inspiration from this wonderful meal for my next range of ice cream flavours.” “What do you have in mind?”

Trying hard not to stumble in the dark as they made their way up the steps to her little ice cream haven, Jon couldn’t stop his eyes from drifting back to Dany. Watching every move she made, gracefully moving between the shadows of the night. The beams of moonlight painted her in an ethereal glow. Like an elven nymph dancing before him, leading him along by the hand to wherever her heart desired to go. The small hand tightly tucked within his, the warmth of her palm pressed against his was a homing beacon for all his senses to congregate to. He felt light and tingly all over. Boy, was he far gone. Not letting go of his hand, Dany stepped up onto her porch and spun around to face him. Jon now stood a step below her, gazing up at her with his deep chocolate eyes that shone with unwavering adoration under the silver light of the moon.

An adoration for her.

It was hard to fathom this happening so quickly considering they’d only just met only recently. Who was she to deny the affections of someone so genuinely sweet? Someone who was captivated by her, not just for her looks but she was inclined to believe that it was for all of her, inside and out. If Jon wanted to discover it all, discover every single thing about her? She would personally hold the door open and invite him in. “Mmm.... I’m afraid you’ll have to swing by tomorrow and find out for yourself.”

Any excuse, any chance to see this darling man again, she would come up with and take them all. After all, he wasn’t the only one who was paddling in the deep end of affection. He wanted to be with her and she too wanted him close, so very much. She hadn’t smiled or laughed like she had with a member of the opposite sex in so long. Every moment spent with Jon brought her to life. She wanted to learn all that she could about this man who was so quickly becoming a fixture that she wanted to create a permanent home for in her world. “Are you asking me out on a date, my lady?” “You gave me such a marvellous one tonight. Turn about is only fair. What do you say to hanging out in my kitchen and do some experiments on ice cream with me?” “I say.... experimentation with food may not be as great as a three course meal but I suppose it’d be nice.” He couldn’t help it. He had to know how this perfect woman would react should he push her buttons a little. “Hey! Are you underestimating my abilities to provide a good time? At least give a girl a chance! Ice cream making is an art that requires precision and wit, which I assume you’ve never experienced before. Here I thought it would be something fun for us to do together.” Releasing a harrumph, Dany swatted him lightly on the arm with her free hand before making a move to shake off his hand that was still clasped around hers. Chuckling, Jon tightened his hold on her hand and drew his very cute pouty-lipped date towards him. A sharp gasp escaped from her as her body collided with his. Perhaps it was the alcohol giving him a boost in confidence, his arm shot out to snake around Dany’s waist. Whether it was to keep her from falling or to usher her in closer to him, Jon really couldn’t say. The urge to have her as close to him as humanly possible was all too compelling.

“I was merely playing with you.” The instant their bodies aligned, the air around them crackled with a certain tension that had both their hearts leaping into their mouths. “You’re coming tomorrow? This date might not to be a very romantic one nor does it go according to the list of cliché activities of what couples usually go for.” Her hands grabbed at Jon’s shoulders in seek of some semblance of balance while her heart went haywire, beating out of tempo like an un-tuned metronome. Their sudden closeness threw her, bringing forth dizziness. Jon’s broad chest rose and fell against hers, each inhale and exhale of his, pressed him to her even more. A callused thumb coasting down the curve of her cheek had a tremor zinging through her body. It felt so good that her knees could have buckled under her. A tiny whimper lodged its way up her throat. Their lips parted without much coaxing. Just an inch closer and they would touch. Curiosity lanced with desire coiled deep within their beings. Did they dare to venture a taste? Was it all too soon to cross that boundary, to take a step in the direction of physical intimacy? Could they throw everything to the wind and give in to that temptation? “My answer to your request is, yes, I would love nothing more than to come over.” Under the spell of that irresistible magnetic pull between them, Jon inched even closer to his ladylove. No one knew what supplied him with the courage to do what he did next, but nonetheless, he brushed the tip of his nose alongside hers before running it up and down along the length of her nose, keeping his touch to a graze. “As long as we’re together, anything would be fine. What we do wouldn’t matter if I got to spend time with you. I’m sure we could find a way to amp up the romance somehow anyway.” His ticklish caresses and those affectionate, heartfelt words articulated in that husky voice of his had jolts of electricity bolting straight towards the point between her legs, at the apex where her thighs met. Dany’s toes curled within her sneakers. Oh god, what was happening to her? “I’ll be here tomorrow. How about around the time your shop closes?” Jon whispered. There was no need to speak much louder than that with her so near. So near, he could count the freckles fanning out across her cheeks.

Their lips were now a mere hair’s breadth apart. So close, that each exhalation from their lungs mingled between them. Dany’s eyes grew enthralled by the movement of Jon’s lips and his pink tongue that darted out to moisten his lips.

Just a little closer.

Embroiled in the magic of the moment, her words eluded her. All she could manage was a nod and a hum of acquiescence. That mouth of his was so pretty, unfairly pretty for a man. She had a sudden craving to know how they felt moving against hers. Would those enticing lips be smooth or would they be rough? Whether his tongue would set her body on fire, trailing down her neck or up the inside of her thighs to kiss her there? What was this man kindling in her?

Looking back on that very night, neither of them could pin point with confidence which one out of the two of them made the first move. Dany would deny vehemently that it was her and Jon would do the same when she brought it up. Back in the present, the miniscule gap keeping them apart vanished in an ever so gentle collision of lips, like the timid flutter of a butterfly’s wings. The tentative press of their closed lips lingered and their hearts lurched to a halt. Sucking in a sharp breath through their noses, their beating organs came to, riding upon the backs of a horde of stampeding rhinoceroses that rattled them both to the core. Just a sweet, delicate touch was enough to send their senses into a tizzy, lighting up every nerve ending in their bodies like the insides of a pinball machine.

Kissing each other was everything they had expected and so much more. For Jon, Dany’s lips under his were like the insides of a rosebud, soft and sweet, bringing forth a sense of possessiveness from his core. For Dany, Jon’s plaint lips were a little dry and yet still very pleasant. Combined with the steady enclosure of his arms around her holding her upright and his lips moving in what she could only describe as lovingly upon hers made her shiver. It was a shame that their physiological demand for air forced them to drag their lips unwittingly away from their lip lock. A euphoric sort of bubble held them both hostage and neither of them was eager to depart from it. So, they stood together just breathing as one, taking in some much needed air. Meeting each other’s eyes, they saw disbelief, stunned surprise and something else swimming in there. Their gazes held for moments as they watched the desire within each other’s pupils flare up and expand, pushing their irises outwards until there was just a small ring left.

He (She) had to have more, no, needed more.

They plunged headfirst, back in for more. This time, their parted lips fused seamlessly, both of them hungry for the sweetness they knew would be found within. Hesitantly still, yet fuelled by a newfound passion, their tongues met in a timid flick, kicking up a languid rhythm, relishing in the taste of the person in their arms. Their dance soon became frenzied and moans floated unbridled to the sky with each tilt of their heads. Without conscious thought, their hands began to wander, searching for an anchor at whatever they could reach. Jon’s fingers fisted at the silky locks that hung loose down Dany’s back while hers burrowed their way into the curls at the nape of his neck. Their daydreams and fantasies paled in comparison to how delicious reality was. Each slant of their mouths, each touch of their lips, stroke of their tongues brought about a hint of wine and an intoxicating flavour that was uniquely their own.

And as they broke apart, heads spinning and hearts reverberating like jackhammers within their chest cavities, Jon tipped his forehead to Dany’s. Letting out a quiet laugh under his breath, his mind fought to catch up with the rest of his body. “For a first kiss, that was...” “Fantastic? Brilliant? Magnificent?” Fingers flexing around the silky midnight curls still grasped in her hand, Dany laughed too. Her starving lungs just refused to hold air.

Arms dropping to frame her waist, he tucked the woman he was head over heels, so very madly enamoured with securely to him. “Hands down, all of the above.”

The night could not have been more perfect.

#jonerys fic #jonerys #jon x dany #jon snow x daenerys targaryen #jonerys fanfic #jon snow #daenerys targaryen #got fanfiction #jonerys modern au

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smallblanketfort · 7 years ago

Text

reasons not to

i asked followers and friends to tell me why they’re alive. why they stayed. this is what happened.

the world is beautiful, like, breathtakingly, stunningly, dashingly, spectacularly, exasperatingly beautiful. every wall dirty with paint and ornate with mud and graffiti, all the moldy trees and infuriating insects, all the contorted perfect faces around the world, the decaying and the rising, whatever dichotomy that comes to life and anything that grows according to the plan is beautiful. and it breaks my heart that i will never see all the beauty in the world, but at least i gotta try.

I’m staying alive because I am not ready to be forgotten. This universe has existed for 14 billion years and will continue to exist for at least 14 billion more. In this grand scale, I get an average of 70 years, if I’m lucky. I will not be forgotten. I will do everything it takes to make a difference, to create, to grow and to cherish. I will not be forgotten.

tbh, the main reason i keep myself clean and alive is that i know my family wouldn't be able to take it if i didn't. everyone in my family either has psychological issues or strong tendencies to develop them, and the reason we all keep going, i believe, is because we know we have to be there for each other, otherwise everyone will fall. and i know it's kinda sad and maybe a little unhealthy sometimes but it's how we've worked for the longest time, and hey, we're still here, right?

I’ve stayed alive for my gay ambitions. I wanna kiss a girl! While sober! I’ve had 2 kisses while drunk but I don’t remember one and it sucks. I wanna be confident enough to kiss a girl without anything helping. Also one of those girls was straight and kissing me for attention from her gross boyfriend, I’d like to avoid that situation again lol. But yeah, gayness. Fuckin wild my dude. Gotta shoot my shot and get some lip-lock ya feel?

i reached out for help a while ago to a teacher and if it weren’t for him i might not have made it. he’s said so many things and tells me that i matter, i’m worth it, i deserve to be happy, and he wished he had a daughter like me. it makes me cry knowing that he puts effort into making sure i’m okay, and that’s what keeps me going. i want to make sure his efforts don’t go to waste.

I'm still alive for going out with friends on nights like this. Hearing the birds wake up. Seeing neon lights and stars. That even when I feel so lonely, so alone, I can at least see my friends have fun and lose myself in the music.

I want to be clean because then at least i know i can do it. I've only stayed clean for a few months and then relapsed. If i can make it to a year, then at least i know i can do another and then another and then another and maybe even not deal with it at all anymore. I just want to beat this for good.

my mom’s battled depression her whole life, and last fall i broke down sobbing and started telling her about how mine had been festering in secret for so long. and she started telling me about all the pain she never thought would bridge the mother-daughter divide and how she wanted to breathe in the shadows like smoke to keep them from burning my skin. sometimes at night we crawl into each others beds and carry the weight together when our arms have started giving out. i stay alive for her.

The thing that kept me here most was knowing that my life is not really my own. No one is purely self- contained. To end my own life would be to alter dozens. So, to counter my own feeling of worthlessness, I invested my time in things that I knew had a net positive impact on the world. The more objectively positive meaning that I gave to my life made it harder to argue that I should kill myself. What would my parents do? What would my also suicidal younger brother do? We're probably a package deal in this regard. Same with some students I lead a mental health group with. I had set an example to them, and I can't fail that hard without risking their well being.

Simply, my boyfriend. It started with him physically hiding anything I could use to hurt myself. Over time, with his support, I learned some self worth and improved so much. Now those things don't have to be hidden. Even now that he's gone for a year and a half and our contact is limited to a 20 minutes phone call a day and letters, I find I'm still stable enough to stay alive and clean. He taught me how to be safe even without him and that's worth everything.

I stuck around because for some reason, something was telling me to check things out until I'm 30. When I was a kid, I imagined myself getting older all the time. When I wanted to die, I couldn't see anything past the age I was in, 19. I was both so scared and so sad for my innocence, but apparently, it never left me. Because, even though I couldn't /see/ myself beyond 19, my body made me feel like I could. Did that make sense? I'm 24 now. So far I'm glad I stuck around.

Don't want to sound conceited, but there was a kid at church who just loved me. She was like my tail. Although, I think I learned from her more than she learned from me. We both spent the whole day in church because of various activities I was involved in and because her parents were in the choir for all the services. We were always together when there was nothing for me to do-- she talked a lot. I loved hearing what she had to say. That's why I didn't. I looked forward to her growth every week

I'm alive because of the Oscar's. A few years ago a theater was showing all the nominated movies, and my mom and I went to see Manchester by the Sea. It's a sad movie, about an accident that killed some kids, but it affected my mom a lot more than me. I remember walking back to the car and her talking about how she probably wouldn't be able to go on if one of her kids died. I still can't imagine a future, but so far I'm here and tthinking about that conversation in that parking structure.

i stayed alive because i couldn’t choose which sunrise would be my last.

My family, friends, and God keep me here. If it weren't for them, I might have committed suicide or at least harmed myself because I was so overwhelmed with the world and hated myself for how far I went into sin. I might be in prison because I was heading down a path that could have lead to illegal things. God has always pulled me back in and my family has always been there to talk to. A couple of friends have helped a lot too. I also hate inflicting pain on myself and others, so that has kept me here as well .I am still coming out of certain sins and I am still recovering, but I have hope now in Christ and hope for a better future. I still get overwhelmed and perplexed by this world, but I have support and I know that God is working in my life which will allow me to help others hopefully.

i’m alive because of the little things. seeing your plants flower, the dew in the morning, low hanging clouds in the mountains, the smell of warm dirt after it rains, the tingling feeling of your fingers warming up after going numb.

A fear of hurting my mum, sisters and best friend is the biggest factor in me staying. There have been so many times that I've thought - known - they'd be better off without me, but I know they won't see it like that, and will just be hurt. Personal vanity and the hope I can accomplish the projects I've dreamed of finishing also keeps me going.

On most days, staying clean is the hope that I can be used by the Lord in the lives of people who have been through the same thing—that one day I can look at someone and say, “I made it through… you can too.” On the nights I almost relapse, I think of the girls I’m discipling and the witness I have for Christ and wrestle with the effects of one hasty decision—and five years down the drain. The staying alive thing is a little more complicated sometimes. For the most part, it’s because I’ve personally seen the impact of suicide—both in my family and friendships. However, sometimes that’s not good enough. And, as pathetic as it seems, there are times when my cat is the only reason I’m still here. Phteven has super high anxiety, is afraid of most everyone (myself excluded), and is, generally, pretty high maintenance because of all his fears. No one in their right mind would take care of him if I were gone. So, on the darkest nights of my life, I’ve honestly stayed because I think my cat would end up at a shelter, and he would 100% have a heart attack because of the anxiety (which written out sounds really silly, but there ya go.) In general, however, it’s the knowledge of the impact it would have—regardless of how well I perceived to be loved or cared for.

For me the hope of tomorrow, there is always a new day. Ive always been an optimist and even in my darkest moments, hope keeps me grounded. Romans 8:18, Psalm 51:10 & Hebrews 6:19 have been verses that have helped me through to the point i have an anchor tattoo with Steadfast across it.

While some of these may sound dumb, they’ve kept me going all these years: all the books I’ll be able to read some day. all the movies/tv shows/music I’ll get to watch/listen to. All the laughs with my crazy friends. All the laughs with my crazy family. The possibility of road trips and vacations. The possibility of writing a book of my own. Falling in love. Being best friends with my sister. Loving my niece to pieces. Smelling the air after it’s just rained, and/or after the grass has been cut. Seeing the first snowfall every year. Seeing the corn and beans sprouting every spring. Sitting on a porch when I’m old. Having grandchildren to tell all your crazy stories to. And laughing. So much laughing. 😌

my reason to stay alive is my friends. they needed me to keep going, to keep pushing through every dark night. I know just how devastating it would be if one of my plans actually did work. since my dad passed away, every day was getting harder and harder to get through, until eventually i just didn't want to even live for the new morning. it's only been a few months now since the suicidal thoughts and the urge to self harm has left, but I think what got me through the worst of it was the unrelenting support of my friends. they were there for me through every breakdown, every panic attack and every dark thought. I genuinely don't think I'd be here today without their support- their kindness is what kept me going. I've worked hard for three years now on my mental health, I've been going to counselling and seeking support from other people. I've taken self care with open arms and its made such a difference. reaching out for help was so hard but it was so so worth it. I've reached my 18th birthday, a milestone I never thought i could ever achieve- yet here I am proving every horrible thought my brain spews up wrong. I'm so thankful I never gave up, because each day now - while sometimes still a struggle, shows me how the world has a little light bearing through even when things seem to be going shit. my lovely friends, my art and music is what wakes me up every morning and motivates me to sleep at night. life does get better.

In the past it was always my sister and brother. I always kept going and stayed here just so one day I could find them and we could be together. Be a family. I loved them since the moment I met them. Though my sister was only three and didn't speak English at the time only French. Of course I only knew English. My brother was to be born very soon. I was instantly in love. To know that I had them. They were my world. They held me together. Even though for the next 13 years we would not see each other for unfair reasons. Now 22 years later what keeps me here has changed only slightly. My sister and my father are what keep me here. For a very different reason now though. Four years ago my little brother, the one I was just speaking of, was murdered. Along with his girlfriend and her sister. I keep going because right now I can't let my dad suffer the loss of two children. I can't let the sweetest sister in the world lose two siblings. I can't let them down. I have to stay strong. I have to keep going. It's exhausting most days, and it gets harder as time goes on. So I fight back more to keep going because I love them and I know they love me.

I guess for me -- the reason I stayed is because I almost didn't stay, and it was the total grace of God that I'm here. At the time I thought I would have stayed for my family, or my friends, or my future -- but I totally could not see any of that other than the continuous hurt I thought I was inflicting on them. I had a really bad fall semester at my university that led me to eventually take a much needed and helpful medical leave my spring semester;; but the first time that I really almost did it I was breaking down on the top floor of a parking garage at my university, begging that God would actually see me and wanting prayer but not knowing where to go and not wanting to "burden" anyone I knew. As this was happening, this guy walks to the top of the garage and sees me - comes over to where I was sitting, asks if I'm okay and gives me a hug, and asks if he could pray for me (and my university is not even religious at *all*). He literally slept in a booth across from me and stayed with me all night as I finished my homework, and he walked with me to class the next day. In the midst of everything that I was a bit of hope. Towards the very end of the semester, I had seriously made the decision I was going to do it and went about with all what I thought were my parting arrangements -- the next morning when I was going to leave he sends me a text and shows up at my dorm, telling me he was praying for me and wanted to stay with me that day until I left to go back home to Pittsburgh where I'd be for my medical leave. Both of those times I actually didn't see a reason to stay -- but God did. And it took some time for that to really sink in... that God wants me to stay. That he wouldn't let me go. And that has been a massive reason why I stay now. In addition to that, through this healing season I have relearned the beauty of family and friendship, and how much love there actually is surrounding me -- and now, I look around and I appreciate it that much more because it was almsot never there. Knowing that God never gave up and there *actually was* soooooo much love and life on the other side of this that I was convinced I would never see gives me so much hope to keep holding on and to not listen to the lies that there is no good for me or my future. I don't want to live my life out of guilt or fear of what will happen to me or my friends/family after I'm gone -- but I guess that is a part of it, seeing many friends die from preventable causes and the damage it does puts things into perspective. But I'd say my main reason for staying is knowing that life really is worth it and precious when I can't see it, because I know what it's like to make it out the other side and understand how tightly God holds onto us when we don't want to even hold on anymore.

I stayed alive because I didn't know there was another option. I was young. I stayed alive because I didn't want my sister to have to live as someone with that kind of hole in her life. I stayed alive because there was always some upcoming performance and my company is too small for understudies or alternates. I stayed alive because there was always someone not quite as steady who relied on me to do so. Only now, finally, I can stay alive because I want to.

Reasons I stay alive: the love of the people close to me, and the knowledge that with age we get better. Anxieties lessen and dissipate, confidence grows, skills develop and things generally become clearer.

Ive been thinking about this post quite a lot, Haha. Mostly, it’s because I don’t want to give up. I want to prove to myself and my loved ones that I’m so much stronger than I think I am and I’d like to show the bullies of my past that I’m stronger than they think. Also, my family and friends and boyfriend keep me here. There’s so much see in the future, and I sometimes just... hold on to that. I lost touch with one of my best friends for years and I’m just too glad to have her back in my life since last year and I know (haha this sounds selfish I guess, but she told me haha) that she’s so glad about it as well. There’s so many things I want to achieve and things to see. I mean - about three weeks ago, said best friend and I met our childhood hero and I just kept thinking “man, I’m so glad I stayed”.

it’s on my blog too x and twitter

#mental health #suicide #anxiety #depression #thesproutclub on twitter + ig #stay alive #still alive #important #stories

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satelliteinasupernova · 7 years ago

Text

fic recs (featuring bughead)

PART 1! LONG FICS

I was originally planning to do this all as one post with both long fics and one shots, but man this got long, and it’s only four recs. BUT SOMETIMES YOU CAN’T STOP TALKING ABOUT FICS YOU LOVE. Anyway, I wanted to share some fics that I have really emotionally bonded with. There is a good chance you have heard of these, but in case you haven’t read them yet: here we go

I gotta put this under a cut, I swear I didn’t mean this to get this long:

Three Wishes by @nimmieamee (Complete)

Do you know that feeling when you start reading the first chapter of a fic, and by the end of the chapter you are just SO excited because it is everything that you didn’t know you wanted to read? That’s this fic for me. I had so much fun following it along as it updated. It takes all kind of twists and turns with each chapter!

Riverdale is honestly just made to work in universes that are just a bit weird, and the mirror verse concept of this fic uses the trope to its full potential. The chapters hop between Betty, Veronica, and Alice’s perspectives and each of their plot lines deal directly with their own personal flaws in a way that the series proper refuses to. When they end up in this other universe, they find themselves facing a version of themselves that is entirely different, but is still them, with the same desires and flaws, just developed and twisted in a different way. It forces them to come to terms with who they are and what they want, and each deciding if those goals are worth fighting for, if it’s something they need to change. I love fics that focus on complicated ladies so much!!

Taking the nonsensical, poorly written concepts of Riverdale and turning them around and developing them until they finally make sense is something that nimmie is especially good at in all her fics (I recommend you look into her full archive of fics btw). Here she really focuses on having Veronica face the repercussions of what siding with her father would do to Riverdale (even before the for-profit prison plot line showed itself!). A really serious look is taken to what a dark!Betty actually would look like, where Betty’s motivation with taking that direction comes from, and how Betty would interact if she did have a close relationship with the Serpents. It also helps Betty come to an understanding with the parts of Jughead’s life that she feels distant from, that she even feels is taking Jughead away from her. Then you have Alice, who has spent many years cultivating a specific image and a specific life, finding herself in the life she has never allowed herself, but secretly dreamed of. I know Alice/FP is not for everyone, but it is so great here. You get to see how they work as a support unit, even while living extremely messy lives, and continuing to make just questionable decisions, lol.

If you have not read this fic, please go read it! It does have Explicit content, and it is used in a way that builds on the characters and their relationships in a fun way. This fic deals with these flawed ladies, but really shows their strengths too, and makes me crave for a canon narrative that actually lets these characters grow.

road to me by @heavy-lies-the-crown (On going)

So how much you enjoy this fic may depend on how much you appreciate getting your heart broken over and over again. This fic HURTS. Brutally, and with regularity, but it still feels worth it because you know there’s a light at the end of the tunnel, lol. This fic deals quite seriously with the complications that form in relationships that start young, how it hurts when you are starting to grow out of your skin, but still find your relationships tethered by the person that you used to be.

It alternates between Jughead and Betty’s perspectives with each chapter, and what makes it so great as a fic is how deeply it gets into their heads. They both don’t have a good perspective of what is happening in their relationship and with their break up, they are too overwhelmed by how much it hurts and the confusion over what exactly did go wrong. The fic takes place over the course of the year, each chapter focusing on where the characters are at each month. It really does support the fact that this break up, even building back up to a relationship, is a process and a painful one. Even when the characters are hurt, even bitter, it is clear how much they love and are impacted by each other. The break up forces them to realize what was wrong, what wasn’t working, and what they want to change about themselves. Every choice and action they make is sensitive, because they are still trying to heal.

Just recently we have gotten to the months where Jughead and Betty are trying to build back a communication with each other, because now that the dust has settled, it hasn’t changed how much they miss or love each other. It is both heartwarming, but still difficult!

I have never read a fic in my life that has made me feel so extremely that I JUST WANT THESE TWO PEOPLE TO GET MARRIED lol. Like, really. Even when things are going wrong and Betty makes a selfish choice, or Jughead lets himself get completely swept up in hurt or anger. I just want these two to figure it out, and build a long-term life together.

(I am really really looking forward to the final chapters of this fic)

girls girls girls in neon lights by @myrmidonofmelodrama / Em11134 (Complete)

I am desperate for real, honest Toni and Betty interaction. STARVING for it. The Betty Cooper & Toni Topaz tag on AO3 is one page, btw. ONE. This fic is everything I wanted. It takes place during ~the break up (the 2nd one), and has Betty and Toni building an alliance to change the Serpents.

This is how I want Betty to create a relationship with the Serpents, outside of her relationship with Jughead, instead forming bonds with the ladies within the gang (Ladies! Plural!). Even though their interactions start tense and uncomfortable, Toni and Betty form a friendship pretty easily because they talk honestly and are able to relate to each other’s feelings. Betty learns from Toni to broaden her own perspective while also getting support from her in her relationship with Jughead, while Toni is given the support to really take charge in changing the Serpents to be better, and to allow the female members of the Serpents gain the power and respect they deserve.

This fic gives so much care on really developing Toni, showing her perspective and letting her be her own person, while also building a relationship with Betty. I love it, I love it so much. I love how Toni functions as a great friend to both Jughead and Betty, but approaches the situation with a bit of humor and irony. I love getting to watch Betty and Toni find the different things they admire in each other and building a real affection between them. I live for it!!! (More Betty and Toni content. Thanks. In the meantime, go read this fic)

Vespertine by @yavannies

Okay, I put this one last of the long running fics, because I talk about it??? a lot??? (It might get annoying even, IDK) If for some reason you still haven’t read this fic yet, sit down and let me tell you why you should.

So I have a big weakness for narratives that play with perspective, especially ones that play with how people with different experiences view things. It’s shown up in all of the fics so far on this list, actually. The way Vespertine plays with this concept is by having an introduction of the fic from Jughead’s writing, often in relation to or in contract of the main fic from Betty’s perspective. I love it as a concept, and it works so well in execution.

In general, I haven’t been a big fan of fandom’s idea of Serpent Jughead, because it often presents him as a completely different person that he has been established as in series. Jughead as a Serpent is still the same kid from season 1, just now with a community of support in the Southside, so he has learned to be much more vocal about his problems with Riverdale. For this fic, Jughead and Betty’s different experience creates a lot of early conflict, and shows up in the different way they view the things happening around them. Even with that, there is a natural attraction between them that builds up as they are around each other, and as they end up helping with each other’s problems.

I could go on and on about this fic. The way it addresses Betty’s mental health realistically, the affection and care that is shown among the young Serpents, the slow build up and change in how Betty and Jughead learn to understand each other. It has just the right amount of leaning on good old high school movie tropes that it’s a really fun read.

It is the other fic on here that does have Mature content, and I honestly love how it is written. Sexual content is not something that I gravitate toward in fic, but I do really enjoy getting to see Betty learning to become comfortable with her sexuality, and to learn to be proactive in what she wants. There is almost a reverence in how Jughead treats any and every sexual encounter with Betty, and it’s just incredibly sweet. Jughead is not someone who always puts his thoughts into words, but even outside of his chapter intros, it is always clear by his actions what is important to him, or where his insecurity impacts him. When I can dissect what a character is thinking while viewing the interaction from the point of view of another character, that is what I deeply love reading.

This fic is almost done, and I know Yavannie will be glad to see it over, but honestly I will be really sad to see it end lol. (I’m really excited about her getting to move on to new projects though.)

I love these fics! Go read them!

(I plan to share some of my beloved one-shots, TBD, at some point when I am bored at work again lol)

#riverdale #bughead #fic rec #you know when you read a fic and you love it so much #that you really just want to be friends with the person who wrote it?#that has happened several times over #the canon content may be a mess #but I live here for that good fandom content #anyway have some positivity #go share your favs

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