#nemo needs help yo

[thatone-brightstar]

The Bear & The Fox (Carmy Berzatto x Fem!Reader)

Chapter 1: Bear meet Fox

Words: 5.2k

Summary: Out of everyone in the vast city of Chicago, Carmen was glad it was you who stumbled into his rundown restaurant.

a/n: I'm too in love with this man to not write about him, so I'm contributing to our shared obsession with my silly little ficcc.

Also reader is Latina in this and yes it's partially self indulgence.

You couldn't believe you were about to do it.

Not due to  excitement but mostly dread, and a bit of self loathing, that the lowest point in your life had brought you here of all places in the city. Might as well call it point Nemo because there was no way you could get any further away.

Pulling your phone from the back pocket of your jeans, you kept your eyes still on the rundown building across the deserted street, afraid it would dissipate and take with it your only chance of employment in a 200 mile radius. The phone screen lit up with the last message from your brother a few days ago and you wanted to punch him square in the face at the way he worded his stupid attempt at “helping” you find a job.

‘So you stop moping around the house cuz its getting pathetic’

Read the text under a picture of a ‘HELP WANTED’ sign, poorly taped to the inside of a surprisingly clean window, stark contrast to the grimy brick that surrounded it. A second text had also been left on read, with a maps link to the location where you stood, balancing on your feet out of nerves. You contemplated your options, as if you had any; turn around, head home and lay in bed until you withered and died of misery. God, your brother was right, you were getting pathetic.

You took a very deep breath, held it for a few seconds, then blew it out into the cold surroundings. ‘You can do it. It’s just another interview, you've done those before. More in the past month than your whole life sure, but who cares? This is the good one.’ You tried psyching yourself up. It could always be worse, you remembered, though lately it seemed more true everyday.

You forced your feet to move from their petrified state and walked towards the building, made sure that the sign was the same one your brother sent, then stood with an outstretched hand about to pull the door open when a voice coming from the left side of the building called your attention.

“Yo, sweetheart! We open at noon!” A man wearing gray joggers and an over washed shirt stood with his head peeking against the corner of the building. If it weren’t for the apron tied around his waist, you’d assume he’s some stranger sticking his nose in other people’s business, but with the bags under his eyes and the cigarette hanging from his mouth, you recognized the trademark of a tired restaurant worker.

“I’m here for the help wanted ad?” You said more like a question, raising a manila folder and shaking it so he could see that you weren’t there for sandwiches, or whatever it was they sold.

“Why?” He asked skeptically, scanning you from head to toe and taking a drag from his cigarette without using his hands. Show off.

You couldn’t come up with an answer on the spot, out of nervousness and intimidation, so you chose to shrug. You could have said you needed the job or literally anything else, but that answer seemed to be enough for him. The guy took another drag then gestured with his head for you to follow him around the corner. With a doubtful turn to the glass door, you moved to the left and followed the man into the parking spot between buildings where, you hoped, another entrance to the restaurant would be waiting for you.

You moved slowly over the gravel, making your way deeper into the empty space. A breath you didn’t know you were holding left your lips at the sight of a long metal door opened ajar, with the man finishing his cig keeping it from closing. He made a circular impatient motion with his hand while staring at you and that was enough for you to quicken your pace towards him.

“Hurry up babe, we ain’t got all day” He said with a loud voice despite being less than three feet away. “C’mon, I’ll see if I can find my asshole cousin. He’s the one who put that stupid sign up anyway.”

You fully entered the building and were immediately welcomed by the familiar scent of roasted meats and sauteed vegetables, the buzz of old vent pipes and the scraping of metal pans against the burners slightly numbed the anxiety growing in your stomach. This was familiar, this you knew. Down to the Bachata beat playing somewhere inside from an overworked radio and the blinding white lights reflecting off the even whiter tiled walls.

The man seemed to have disappeared somewhere past the kitchen, leaving you stranded in the middle of the Steward station with nothing but a half assed ‘wait here’. You clutched your folder containing your resumé near your chest and tried to make yourself as small as it was possible in the already tiny space, so as to not interfere with anyone who were to pass by in a hurry. It felt like minutes had passed and the guy had not returned. You tried to keep yourself entertained by counting the stained steel pots hanging from the hooks above the sinks, then moved to count the beat up escoffier containers that rested on the rack in front of you. When that was done, you checked your surroundings in search of someone else to help you, as the asshole had been gone for some time and it didn’t seem like he’d be back soon.

About to give up hope and ready to push the exit door, you hear a loud ‘Corner!’ headed your way and turned just in time to see a mountain of pots and pans being carried to the sinks by a faceless body. His head was turned to the other side, probably doing his best to keep an eye on the path ahead. You tried to say something but the words were stuck in your throat, so instead you stepped back out of his way and waited until he dropped the cookware. The faceless person dropped everything inside with a loud bang, then rested his arms against the metal edge, sighed and let his head hang low. From your position, scooted by the door in silence, you waited expectantly for him to turn around so you could say something; maybe explaining why you’re there would be a good way to start. But it took him some time to move. All you saw is the flexing of strained muscle on his arms as he gripped the sink like a lifeline. The movement of his tensed back as he breathed under the thin white shirt he wore brought a warmth to your cheeks and you knew you’re starting to be creepy so you forced yourself to talk.

“Hi-” Is all you get to say before he jumped back startled, wide blue eyes with a wild expression and a hand clutching over his blue apron where his heart was.

“Jesus fuck! Don’t fuckin’ do that!” He shouted at you with a hand raking through his hair. 

“Sorry!” You yelled back. Your heartbeat pounded in your throat and ears and the warmth from a few seconds ago had turned scorching hot over all your skin.

He leaned forward and rested his hands over his knees trying to calm his pulse, then chuckled lightly and regained his composure. “No no you’re good, I-uh I didn’t mean to yell like that but you scared the shit outta me.”

He passed his hand over his face then left it over his mouth, contemplating you for a solid minute. He looked over at you unsure of what to say as you stood holding your folder to your chest and balancing on your feet. 

“Right… so'' He leaned against the sink. “Who are you?”

“Yeah sorry, I saw you were asking for help up front and wanted to see if it was still available.” You said pointing to where you assumed was front of house. In the small space, you couldn’t really make out the layout of the place. “Some asshole guy let me in but then left me here.”

“Fuckin’ Richie” He says under his breath. “Yeah, yeah it still is. You got any papers on you?”

You hand him the folder you had been clutching to your chest. He looked at you one last time then opened it to find your wrinkled resume inside. While he analyzed the information you peeked another look at him. Ashy blond hair framed a strong jaw and nose. He had a broad back and strong arms, likely from all the physical effort it took to work in a kitchen, and even though he took up some space, it seemed like he tried to shrink into himself. The  pale skin on his arms was littered with designs that you couldn’t make out from the distance, but you could see the hyper pigmentation of a few scars.

“Oven?” You ask, pointing to a small angry red mark across his forearm.

“What? Oh fuuuck.” He said as he turned his arm. “That’s the first time I see it, honestly.” 

You laughed lightly under your breath, before he turned to you with a small smile.

“C’mon.” He guided you out the Steward section and you assumed he’d take you to whoever was in charge of the place.

Your nerves had settled due to the familiar ambiance, as he conducted you through the different sections where a few cooks turned curiously, then settled by the expo  that stood tall facing the small window opening into the dining area.

“Mind if we check it here? The office is a shit hole right now.” He looked down at you with expectant eyes.

You swallowed dryly, you weren’t expecting him to be the one in charge. Does that mean you were checking out your future boss? Fuck. You nodded, afraid to trust your own voice. He nodded back then looked at the worn out paper.

“You have a pretty cool resume.” He started. “You’ve been all over the place. Hostess, service, line cook. Private chef for two years, where was that?”

“Uhm, some rich folks up in Lincoln Park. Just dinner and meal prep.” You said as nonchalant as possible.

“Well listen, I don’t think I can pay you as well as they did.” He joked. “We’re not that big of a place and in all honesty, business’ a little tight right now.” 

And there it was, the last rejection you were expecting. You looked down at your hands and did your best to calm the bile climbing up your throat.

“But we could really use the help, so maybe I can offer you to help out up front and once we’re back on our feet, you can move back here. The pay’s not the best and the hours are crazy long but it’s just in the meantime.” He stayed quiet waiting for an answer.

Your head snapped up to look at him after the first half, still surprised it wasn’t a rejection. You didn’t notice you had been quietly staring until he raised his brows expectantly.

“Wait, so that means I’m hired?” You questioned, still cautious.

“Yeah, you think you can start today?”

“Yes, yes thank you so much!” You cleared your throat to hide the too obvious excitement. “Yeah, I’ll just need a place to drop off my things.”

“Great, well we gave Sydney our last empty locker, but you can keep your bag in the office. It’s pretty safe.” He pointed to a closet sized door to the left and asked you to follow him while he explained that family was served before opening and that he’d introduce everyone then.

After dropping your bag inside the dimly lit room, that was indeed a shit hole, he guided you back to the kitchen, then through a white door that pushed into the front of house. You saw the asshole leaning against the long counter separated from the tables, telling a very engaging story to a shorter man in a backwards cap who appeared to just want to finish fixing a broken tap. When the door slammed behind you, they both turned towards you and the chef, who you had yet to know the name of. The taller of the two’s eyes grew in realization and his hand flew to his mouth in a fist to try and hide his laugh.

“Shiiit, my bad doll. I swear I went lookin’ for ‘em but fuckin’ Fak here couldn’t keep his pipe shut and started talking!” He said, using the back of his other hand to slap at the chest of the other man who turned offended to him.

“I didn’t say shit!  You came running to me talkin’ about the pretty girl you had in the bac-” 

“Both of you shut the fuck up and listen” The man behind you interrupted impatient, he placed his hand lightly on your lower back and pushed you further into the room. The placement of his hand did nothing to subside the growing shade of pink in your cheeks from the comment. “This is… shit sorry, I never asked your name.” He turned to you, hand still on your back.

A quiet ‘it’s okay’ left your lips and you introduced yourself to the group of men. The chef repeated your name to himself as a way of memorizing it, then spoke back to the group.

“Richie, she’ll be helping you up front.” 

“Fuck you, I’m not babysitting!” He turns to you. “No offense sweetheart, but this,” He said signaling the bar, “is a one man symphony, okay? I can’t have you screwing with my system.”

You did your best not to roll your eyes at him, because of course you expected him to be defensive about it. Enough experience in the service industry had shown you that older people tended to be quite resistant towards change, especially if the change came in the form of barely 5’3 and female. Sure you were young, you had barely graduated culinary school two years ago during the pandemic, but you had been working since your third year so you were more than familiar with the business.

“Well you have a shitty system.” Said Fak under his breath as he finished unscrewing something.

“What the fuck did you just say?” Richie said, offended. 

“I’m just saying man, you could use the help. I saw you jump at a customer the other day cause he was asking for ketchup.”

“Cause only idiots ask for ketchup with a sandwich!” He threw his hands in the air and turned his back to Fak.

“He was ten!” He shouted back.

“Look, I don’t have time to argue! Richie, you imbecile, take the help cause you need it and stop jumping on people before you catch a case, all right?!” He turned to you, rubbed your back with his hand still there and smiled slightly. “You’ll do great.” He says finally before turning to Richie and pointing up at him while walking back. “Don’t fuckin’ scare her off.”

And he was gone out the door. Richie made a gesture with both his hands pushing from under his chin to where the chef had disappeared then turned to you. He stayed silent, one hand on the bar and another on his hips as he stared at you in intimidation. You held his gaze, not cowarring now that you knew he wasn’t going to murder you. An ‘Aha!’ from Fak brought him back and he slapped his hand on the bar.

“Alright c'mon. I’m gonna need you to organize back here while I sweep around the tables. We open at 12 so we got enough time. Got it? ” He finished.

You salute with your right hand, rolled up your sleeves and walked behind the bar to start working on the task. “Yes, chef.” You mumbled out of habit.

“Nah, don’t fuckin’ start with that ‘chef’ thing with me, I’m already up to my balls with Carmy sayin’ it all the time.” He replied exasperated.

“Fine. Yes, asshole. Whatever.” You respond, rolling your eyes and starting to take things out from the fridge at the bottom of the counter.

You heard a snicker from Fak a few feet away, followed by a smacking sound and an ‘Ow! Fuck you!’ before Richie’s sneakers squeaked away into the other room. What you didn’t see was the small smirk on his face as he started walking away. You had balls, he’d give you that.

You powered through the absolute rat’s nest the bottom of the counter was. An empty jar of pickles, two moldy sausages and a single slab of cheese without the wrapper were only a couple of things you found while trying to clean the mess. You took anything useless and dumped it into a black trash bag Fak was nice enough to get you, before showing you where they kept all the cleaning supplies so you weren’t in the dark. It took you two trips to the supply shelf, a sponge, a rag and half a bottle of dish soap to ultimately get rid of the stale grease that gave the impression to have been there since the opening of the place. Once you were satisfied with the way you organized the station, you moved to scrub the top of all the counters and even give a little swipe with the rag on all the stools.

You had baby hairs sticking to your forehead and cheeks by the time you were done, even your jacket had been discarded and thrown under the now clean bar, but a satisfied smile rested on your face despite all that. God, you really missed working. You finally took some time to admire all the framed pictures littering the surrounding walls. Most were of sports players you weren’t familiar with; one, because you really weren’t a fan of any sport, and two, because the pictures looked so old that most of the specific features had been erased from too much exposure to the sun. There were also football jerseys hanging by a corner near the unlit menu and a big ‘Beef Deli’ sign on the wall behind you. You saw a couple cooks moving around behind the window under the sign and a little knot formed in your stomach at the thought of having to introduce yourself in a while.

You checked your wristwatch on your left hand while you wiped the sweat from your forehead with your right, hoping you still had some time to kill. But before you could look down, a voice by the door called your name. You looked up to see the chef, Carmy you had learned his name was, looking at you with a small smile.

“Front of house looks good, chef.” He complemented, clear blue eyes scanning the counters as he leaned against the door, hands playing with a spoon.

You took a deep breath and smiled back, holding onto your wrists behind your back, “Thanks, chef. I-uhm hope you don’t mind that I took some Fabuloso to wipe down the counter by the window. It smelled like shit.” You finish, pointing at the purple liquid in the spray bottle beside you.

“Yeah, no that’s fine.” He answers, a small laugh stuck in his throat. “But that was actually Tina’s so don’t let her see you used it.”

Your mouth opened slightly as your eyes grew, and you were afraid to ask how bad it would be if she found out. He straightened up with a smirk and tapped his spoon twice on the metal counter before signaling for you to follow him with his head.

“C’mon, family’s up.”

You turned on your heel to follow him into the other room, but jogged back, jumped over the counter high enough to slap the spray bottle with sufficient force for it to fall and roll under the counter. You did not know Tina, but you were sure as hell you also didn’t want to get your shit rocked on your first day on the job. 

You tried tidying up your hair back into a less messy ponytail and combed all the stray baby hairs before entering the adjacent room where the other workers were getting ready for family. Some faces stared from their seats, questioning the presence of the stranger invading their space. A few you had met on the rush while taking the garbage bags out or crossing the kitchen to the supply shelf. Marcus, the pastry chef, waved with a simple smile and pointed to an empty space beside him. The simple action brought a wave of relief over your shoulders as you advanced towards him, hands interlocked in nerves. You mumbled a ‘Thanks.’ and served yourself a glass of water from the pitcher in front of you.

Once everyone was sitting with a container of food in front, the chef introduced you to the table and let everyone know you’d be helping out up front with the service and that if they had any questions, they could ask you directly. The first one to jump at the opportunity was an older man with dark skin, asking you in a thick accent if you were related to Tina. There was a burst of laughter around the table, but he seemed to be serious about his question.

“Ebra, not all latinos are related you racist fucker.” Responded a small woman sitting beside him with a slap to his arm. Okay, so that’s Tina, you thought. “That’s like me saying you and Marcus are related cause you’re both black.” She finished pointing at the tall man sitting beside you.

“We are related.” Ebra responded with a teasing smile, staring at Marcus and you immediately knew where this was going. “I am his grandfather- his mom called me daddy last night!”

Another roar of laughter shattered along the table and you had to stick a spoonful of rice in your mouth to hide your smile. You heard a ‘C’mon man, that’s not right.’ from Marcus as he shook his head, but the creeping grin let you know that it was all in fun. The conversation flowed between comments on the food and stories they all recounted, glad to have a fresh pair of ears to hear them.

One of Richie’s was from a few weeks ago, when they had set up a video game tournament at the restaurant to make some extra cash and the nerds in line had gone so bat shit crazy, that one punched Carmy on the jaw and he had to go out and ‘beat their asses into shape’. You slowly swallowed the bite you had taken and stared at Richie sitting at the end by Carmy.

“Was he dressed like a giant carrot… By any chance?” You ask mortified. 

“No shit! You know the fucker?!” He yelled, slamming his hands on the table. Everyone turned to you like you were holding a new piece to a worthy puzzle.

You covered your face with your hands then crossed them in front of your chin. “Yeah… I think that fucker’s my 19 year old brother.” You affirmed scrunching your face in disgust. Fuckin’ Joshua.

The table went wild with jokes about how Carmy had almost gotten knocked out by a teen and through the hysterics you could still make out Richie’s voice saying “Oh my god, sweetheart. Thank you, really. You just made my WEEK!”  All you could do was pick around your container as heat crept up your neck.

You peered up through your lashes at Carmen sitting with a mortifying look and mouthed a heartfelt ‘Sorry’ for what felt like the tenth time that day. He was leaning back with his arms crossed, smiled with an ‘it’s okay’ and let everyone take a jab with their jokes. You looked back down to your food and did your best to drown out the teasing noises from everyone, but were unaware of how the chef raised his brows and swallowed dryly with his gaze still on you.

After minutes of teasing, everyone picked up their empty dishes and separated into their areas. You stayed in the dining room wiping down the tables that were left to clean before opening service and a couple of ideas came to mind on how you could decorate them to reduce the depressing feeling. At least for now, napkins and holders would do, the rest would have to wait. You power walked to the front where you remembered seeing a packet that looked to be from napkins, but once you reached inside all you found were a bunch of wrinkled brown pieces of paper.

“Richie!” You yelled from your crouched position.

“Yo!” He yelled back, head popping above you over the counter.

“I can’t seem to find any napkins.” You spoke while still searching hopefully in the space.

“You’re holdin’ em.” He stated, matter-of-factly. 

You stand fully and shake the supposed napkins in front of you. “Richie, these are stained and say Starbucks on em!” 

His grin grew wide on his face as he walked back with extended arms. “Welcome to The Beef, kid!” He laughed, then leaned down to unlock the glass door where you could already see some people forming a line.

You quickly dropped the napkins, grabbed the blue half apron you had been given and tied it around your waist as fast as possible. Fuck, fuck, fuck. A fuckin’ heads up would’ve been nice, you thought as you plastered on a soft smile for the clients.

“Alright, fuckos! We’re open!” He shouted into the restaurant and wiggled his brows towards you. “Goodluck.”

Fuck.

*****

He was worried for you for the first fifteen minutes after opening. Afraid you’d see the mess you had stumbled upon or that his idiot cousin would say something that would have you grabbing your bag and leaving without as much as a goodbye. He wouldn’t blame you, hell, he would’ve even done the same if his name wasn’t in the lease  now instead of his brother’s.

He stopped worrying however, when he saw the way you managed yourself around the floor and customers. Empty plates were picked up with ease and replaced with warm ones that spent less than five minutes on the counter, the orders were taken within minutes and served with a kind smile. He was even surprised when you walked away from the other side of the expo with three plated sandwiches balancing in one hand and a forth plate in the other.

“Can you manage, chef?” He even asked when he saw you trying to find the perfect space between your fingers that could balance the plate, your lip caught in concentration.

You looked at him with your head still bowed and a breathy smile. “Yeah, thanks.” Then turned your back to deliver the dishes. 

It wasn’t his intention for his gaze to linger longer than it did as your hips swayed naturally with every step, or when despite the hectic sound of the kitchen he could still hear you laugh politely at a joke from one of their regulars. But it was only until Syd elbowed him in the side that he noticed he was being a bit creepy. Jesus, it’s like your 14 again, he thought.

“You’re worried Richie’s gonna scare her off but you’re the one giving me the creeps with all the staring.” She said after reading the printed ticket for another order.

“Heard, chef.” Was all he said, cleared his throat and went back to work, doing his best not to look up every time you walked to receive a new order.

It was only when the lunch rush died down and he was in desperate need of a cigarette, that he saw you sitting down with your head resting against the cold bricks of the adjacent building and eyes closed peacefully. He didn’t want to bother you, but he also didn’t want to waste the opportunity of telling you how well you had done in the first half of the day. Besides, the heavy door behind him slammed closed and startled you slightly, so there was no going back now.

“Hey.” You smiled softly, stretching your arms above your head and your legs straight forward, then relaxed altogether. 

“You smoke?” Carmy asked, offering you a cig as he sat on the empty crate a few feet away from you, elbows resting on his knees.

You shook your head no, but thanked him anyway. “I quit a few months ago.” You said just as he flicked his lighter on and the tip grew bright orange.

“Shit, sorry. If it bothers you I can turn it off.” He offered. He wanted to say ‘I can go somewhere else’ but he didn’t want to give you the idea that he didn’t wanna be there.

You shook your head no again still smiling and pulled one of your legs to your chest, turning to him. “So…” You asked curious. “How’d I do for my first half?”

Carmy chuckled lightly as he exhaled smoke into the air. He turned to you from his crouched position and for the fifth time that day, he took a good look at your face. Jesus fuck, how could someone as beautiful as you end up in his dump of all places? Despite your overworked expression and a few small bags beneath your eyes, he was sure he had never seen anyone’s face glow with such brightness as yours did now. His eyes danced around your face, taking in every single freckle he could before he tore them away after what to him felt like an eternity of staring- no- admiring your features.

“You did way better than I expected. Truly, chef. Thank you.” He whispered and, despite the noisy Chicago surroundings, you heard every word.

Your smile beamed brighter for what felt like the first time in months and the fist that had been constricting your heart for a while now seemed to give you some much needed space to breathe. 

Carmy finished his cigarette in comfortable silence, now laying back against the cold brick wall that helped ease the rising temperature in his body, while you played with the aquamarine ring on your pointer finger that reminded you too much of the chef’s specific shade of blue eyes.

“What’s Carmy short for?” You asked all of a sudden, pulling him out of his internal thoughts.

It took him a couple of seconds to process the question, then smiled down to the gravel under his feet. “Uhm- it’s short for Carmen. It’s a family name. " He responded.

“Oh.” Was all you said, nodding your head. “It's nice. I have a cousin named Carmen.” You continue with a smile on your lips.

“Yeah?” He asked, turning down towards you, only to see you stand up and  clean off the dust from the back of your black jeans and readjust the apron around your waist.

You stood with your hands on your hips and stared down at him for another second before smiling and making your way to the tall door. “Yeah, but she’s a girl.” You reply without turning back and push your way into the restaurant, leaving the chef with a snickering grin and a lightheaded feeling he wished wasn’t just from the nicotine.

Chapter 2.

[warringwarrioridiot]

"They was asking for it"

YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT YOU'RE ASKING FOR?? A BIG FAT BASEBALL BAT TO THE BACK OF THE SKULL AT FULL SPEED MAX ISTG

Mfs like this need to take a long walk off of a short cliff cus if I EVER catch them I'm gonna commit some good old fashion homicide.

If you say things like "You should've enjoyed it" or "at least you got some" I'm tracking your IP and shoving ten cacti in your anal hole and/or vagina.

"game is game 🤪"

You need to shut your ketchup stain, Junkrat main, micro brain, aluminium chain, ankle sprain, CHOCOLATE RAIIIIN, with your runny nose dirty toes lick hobos cOwAbUnGa BrOs, Dude, I want you to look at your entire life. All your life choices. And tell me when you had an original idea in your brain. Your ass got kicked out and disowned and you started aggressively tapping the home button on your IPhone "Oh, help. Why is it not working?". YOUR ENTIRE EXISTENCE IS LIKE A NARUTO FILLER EPISODE, MY BOY! YOUR PRANKS ARE AS REPETITIVE AS THE AD "Whopper, Whopper, Whopper, Whopper" YOUR BRAIN IS JUST AS REAL AS THE LOVE YOUR PARENTS HAVE FOR YOU! YOUR GRANDMA GAVE BLING BLING BOY A LAP DANCE FOR PAY DAY. Wait hold on! *Punch punch punch* GIVE ME THE MONEY YOUR GRANDMA! I JUST ROBBED YOUR GRANDMA! I JUST HIT A LICK ON YOUR GRANDMA, HOW DOES THAT FEEL?! SHE POOR AS HELL NOW! YOU PUT A BALLOON ON YOUR HEAD AND THOUGHT IT WAS A DURAG! YOU LIKE RONALD MCDONALD FROM OHIO! "HEYA KID! YOU WANT A BIG MAC?!" WHEN YOU WALK DOWNSTAIRS YOUR WHOLE HOUSE STARTS RUMBLING! YOU BRING THE POWER OF EREN YEAGER AND 37 COLOSSAL TITANS DOWN YOUR STAIRCASE! AFTER YOU EAT DINNER YOU EAT THE PLATE AND THEN YOU EAT THE TABLE AS WELL! CHOMP CHOMP! YOU RENT OUT THE GAP BETWEEN YOU TEETH AS A PARKING SPACE FOR ANTS! YOU LOOK EMO ASF "CUT MY LIFE INTO PIECES! THIS IS MY LAST RESORT! SUFFOCATION! NO BREATHING!" LOOK AT YOUR NOSE YOU HAVE TWO MARIO PIPES COMING OUT OF YOUR HEAD! YAHOO! LET'S A GO! THEY MADE A SEQUEL TO FINDING NEMO BASED OFF YOUR ASS CALLED "LOCATING CHROMOSOMES! IN THEATRES THIS JULY!" YOUR BEST FRIEND IS A RAT LIVING UNDER YOUR BED IN A PRINGLES CAN! YOU POSTED AN INSTAGRAM STORY ABOUT A JAMAICAN CRICKET GIVING YOU A LAP DANCE IN THE BACK OF TOYS R US! YOU TORTURED AN ANT BY TYING HIM TO YOUR BUTTHOLE AND FARTING ON HIM! I HAVE MORE ROASTS YOU KNOW! YOUR GRANDMA IS A DARK SOULS BOSS CALLED "THE WRINKLE!

EW NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO THERE IS NO WAY! THAT THIS... OLD ASS FART WRINKLE IS TALKING TO ME IN SUCH A DISRESPECTFUL MANNER. YOU KNOW IT'S ACTUALLY KINDA SAD YOU'RE OLD ENOUGH TO BE A GRANDPA NOW BUT INSTEAD OF ADVANCING YOUR BIOLOGICAL CHAIN YOU'VE INSTEAD SPENT YOUR DAYS ALONE IN YOUR ROOM READING HITLER MANIFESTOS AND COSPLAYING AS A FUCKIN' NEO NAZI. SO MANY YEARS AND SUCH LITTLE ADVANCEMENT. No seriously! Seriously I find it amusing THAT YOUR PENCIL PENIS DONKEY KONG BARREL BUILT LOOKIN' ASS WOULD ASSUME THAT I EVEN REMOTELY CARE ABOUT A SINGLE ONE. NO NO NO FUCK THAT. A SINGLE SYLLABLE OF THE VERBAL DIARRHEA GARGLE THAT'S COMING OUT OF THE DUSTY SARLAC PIT YOU CONSIDER TO BE YOUR FUCKING MOUTH! YOU WANT ME TO SHOW YOU MY FACE?? YOU WANNA SEE MY FUCKIN' FACE??? BITCH SHOW ME YOUR FUCKIN' HAIRLINE CAUSE I KNOW THERE'S NO WAY YOU'RE SPEAKING TO ME RIGHT NOW DRESSED UP AS A GOD DAMN DIABOLICAL BOY SCOUT. NAH LOOK AT THEM TEETH. BOY YOUR TEETH IN CREATIVE MODE. HELL NAH BOY STOP PLAYING YOU TOO OLD FOR THIS SHIT. BRO THEY GOT FOSSIL RECORDS FOR EACH ONE OF YOUR FAT ROLLS. NAH STOP PLAYING WITH ME BOY I CAN'T TAKE YO ASS SERIOUSLY WHEN YOU DRESS UP LIKE A GODDAMN MEDIEVAL TERRORIST. BRO IS ABOUT TO SHOOT UP HIS OLD FOLKS HOME WITH A CROSSBOW AND A FUCKING TREBUCHET. YA YEET DOM DOM DOM DOM DOM DOM! SHUT YO UGLY ASS UP. WHAT THE FUCK? A HE AHHH EEEEE SHUT UP BITCH. YOU WANT ME TO TURN ON MY CAMERA? YO DICK BUILT LIKE A INVERTED BANANA. YO FOREHEAD CRACKED UP LIKE THE AFRICAN SAVANNAH. I CAUGHT YOU AND YO SISTER BUTT NAKED LAST NIGHT. SWEET HOME ALABAMA. FUCK YOU THINK THIS IS? WHAT IS YOU WEARING WITH YO GODDAMN HONEY WHERE IS MY SUPER SUIT? NAH BOY LOOK AT YO ROOM, YO HOUSE DIRTY AS HELL. YOU GOT FOUR SEWER RATS IN YO BATH TUB RIGHT NOW FLOATING ON TOP OF A PIZZA BOX SINGING. "YO HO THIEVES AND BEGGARS". LIKE SHIT, BOY I CAUGHT YOU HAVING AN EMOTIONAL CONVERSATION WITH YO TOE NAIL LAST NIGHT. WE COULD'VE BEEN SUPER STARS REMEMBER WHEN WE AS JACKING CARS. YOU AND YO TOE NAIL WAS GOING TO BE THE DYNAMIC DUO. BITCH YOU WAS GONNA BE IN AMERICA'S GOT TALENT SWINGING THAT SHIT AROUND LIKE A FUCKING BOOMERANG. SHUT YO STUPID ASS UP. BRUH I CAUGHT YOU JACK SPARROW RUNNING AROUND YOUR HOUSE WHILE YOUR DAD WAS TRYING TO BEAT YOU WITH A TOILET PLUNGER LAST NIGHT. COME HERE BOY! SHUT YO ASS UP. BITCH EVERYTIME YOU TAKE A SHIT THE GAME OF THRONES THEME SONG STARTS PLAMMERING IN YO HOUSE.BUM BUA BUM BUDUM BUM. SHUT YO UGLY ASS UP BRUH.

Are you getting mad?

Are you getting mad?

DAMN You getting mad now! Cuz yo Legal name is Ledenhouser Strogenberg. Nah don't be Smiling now boy You ain't slick Boy! I caught you in the locker room after gym class Frantically wiping yo armpits down With a kleenex While tryna smell good For the girls In the hallway. OI ZOINKS! I GOTTA- I GOTTA HURRY UP. SHUT YO ASS UP YOU LIKE A DIABETIC TOASTER STRUDEL. YOU UGLY AHH AS HELL. YOU GOT THEM BIG ASS HUMPTY DUMPTY PANTS ON BRUH. YOU USE A FRUIT ROLL UP AS A BELT TO HOLD UP YO BUNG DU BUNGLA. Shut yo ugly Ass up You got Mineral deposits In your Belly button. You dumb As hell You thought Google drive Was a brand new Taxi service. Bitch yo Grandma Threw a Rage spell On the kitchen floor And started Smacking you with A weiner schnitzel. Shut yo ass up You a Diabolical Special needs Student. Boy you was In the back of a Short bus Maniacally Planning How you was gonna Take over Your school.HMMMMM YEAHHHHHHHHHH It will be MINE! Shut yo Ass up, Boy I caught you Butt Naked Playing gorilla tag With a mouse in your Kitchen. Yo ass Be sliding around The counters Like a paraplegic Frozone. Gotta Catch 'em ALL! Shut yo ass up With yo "I got a feeling Ooooooooo!" Everytime yo Grandpa Tickles yo Butthole. Shut yo Stupid ass up You thought the One chip challenge Was sticking a Hot cheeto Up your buttcrack. Ok! Here we go Everybody! OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Shut yo Dirty ass up Get yo ass on bruh.

It's actually so fucking sad these people still exist in 2024.

Istg misogynists and forced birth extremists and rapists are the most atrociously ugliest love-lacking idiots.

Image ref:

I rest my fucking case, your honor. Kill every single one of these people before I do it myself.

[capriccio-ffxiv]

Ryuu Tenshi: Endwalker Playlist

Finished my EW playlist for Ryuu and in true cringe early 2000s fashion, here's both the playlist, and a very long, wordy explanation of each damn track. Well, except when I didn't, in which case, I feel the track's self explanatory.

Playlist here: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLN1DZZlTYVt0yz_JDkuu5l_fkl8aI_QHt

The Wake (2005 Mix); Abney Park

My father said Almost the whole world is asleep Everyone you know, everyone you see, everybody you talk to… Only a few people are awake And they live in a state of constant total amazement…

The awakening and realization regarding the Ancients and the Final Days; opening one's eyes and discovering that nothing was as it seemed.

Finale; Maedon

Your last chance, last summer Your last dance, beat to your own drummer Go out fighting, go out young A flash of lightning, eclipse the sun....

This really is it, isn't it? Why the hell can't the Forum see that? Fuck 'em. We sing and scream because we know.

Animus Vox x How Do I Get to Invincible? (Revision); The Glitch Mob

How do I get to invincible? Who's gonna be there to catch me when I fall? How will I know when I'm ready to, to....... All of my flaws make me out to perfection Lonely hearts never fear flying into messes I can't even lie, I might fight to the death, yeah But only if it feels like heaven...

It's just a very Warrior of Light song to me, ok? How DO you get to invincible/ Who IS gonna be there to catch you when you fall?

Go Small; Seeming

So write the song you need to hear Write it on the palm of your hand When the world is drowned in flames Write something you can understand

Garlemald. We save who we can. We do what we can. And yet. And yet. The skies turn red...

Nemo; Nightwish

Walk the dark path Sleep with angels Call the past for help Touch me with your love And reveal to me my true name

... who were you, Azem? For that matter, who were you, Zodiark? Who were you, Hydaelyn? The only truth we can find to save ourselves lies long in the past...

In Other Worlds; Azem Ali

She's still the key holder Through this portal She courts you now

If love be revealed In the spark of an eye Could all be redeemed In the sea of time?

If the stars embed Like nails into the ground From the unheard prayers That have torn up the skies

Would you will it all away As you sail on your way?

(On your own, you sail...)

Elpis theme. I tried to not just post all the damn lyrics but you should probably look them up for yourself.

Starlight Brigade; TWRP feat Dan Avidian

Can I just stand by While the world dies? (While the world dies?) Starship idling nearby Is it my time? I crawl inside and turn the cockpit clockwise Toward the sunrise

I hear a voice in the back of my head Screaming “This is suicide! Did you hear what I said!?” But then it fades into nothing With the rest of the light and sound I’m on my way out!

THANKS FOR THE SPACE SHIP SHARLAYAN, WE FUCKIN OUT

The End; Celldweller

"I wish we could," she whispered near "Go someplace far away from here." While hoping that small voice would disappear That said "Welcome to the end"

This is both "welcome to ultima thule" but also my song for the original Final Days & Sundering.

Signal to Noise; Peter Gabriel

And in this place can you reassure me With a touch, a smile while the cradle's burning All the while the world is turning to noise

Oh, the more that it's surrounding us The more that it destroys Turn up the signal Wipe out the noise

[...]

You Are Not Alone; Into the Woods; written by Stephen Sondheim

Mother cannot guide you Now you're on your own Only me beside you Still, you're not alone No one is alone, truly No one is alone

Sometimes people leave you Halfway through the wood Others may deceive you You decide what's good You decide alone But no one is alone.

The long walk.

Debated putting this up where Hydaelyn dies ("mother cannot guide you") but it works in both spots.

This Is What You Are; Warframe OST

[Instrumental]

I honestly can't explain this one well unless you've played Warframe. If you've played Warframe, you Know why this is here.

A Glorioius Dawn; Symphony of Science; Carl Sagan ft Stephen Hawking

The sky calls to us If we do not destroy ourselves We will one day venture to the stars

A still more glorious dawn awaits Not a sunrise, but a galaxy rise A morning filled with 400 billion suns

Hey, little bird. Have you thought about singing hope?

Dreaming; BT; Electronic Opus version

Walk with me The future's at hand Here with us Here where we stand

We both know The power of pain We get back up and start it again New hope, no place for tears Leave behind those frozen years

Come with me And we'll go dreaming

And so we go onward, unto the next adventure!

Hey, you might be asking, where's Zenos? Where's that fight?

Well, just mentally insert the Benny Hill theme song (Yakkity Sax) anywhere in this playlist you think appropriate for Zenos and you've got it.

[dojae-huh]

I have mixed feelings about the hard versions of Fact Check album. The presentation doesn't help to persuade to buy, really.

The order the versions were uploaded on X was confusing. The Storage version that is meant to be the main one was shown last.

Storage ver. seems to be silver. If it will have embedded cover, then it should look good. On the other hand, a flat cover surface would look cheap and boring. Fingers crossed. The photoalbum is yet another compilation of pictures with no effort for layout design. The only saving grace is neos' clothes and make up. The designer picked the worst spreadsheet for the ad, heh. I hope the final print is not as dark as it seems. No play on money, art objects, no peculiar inclusions... another distilled "pretty boys" album. *sobs in Limitless*

Exhibit ver. Making a separate package solely with pocas and posters is a good idea. Fans can buy their bias without needing to throw out a photoalbum. SM gets additional sold albums for the charts. Most will buy Storage/Chandeliar+bias Exhibit. I think it's the first album/photoshoot version among all 127 albums where I would buy (having money, which I don't, heh) all the versions because everyone looks good. What a difference a proper concept makes, huh. All the clothes and the styling is impecable. I also like that eventhough neos portray rich Auctioners/Art buyers, there is still that Circus feeling present. It connects to Chandeliar. The small black and white icons in the left bottom corner of the posters were also selected well.

This! The matching flowers, the poses, the characteristic hairdos. I'm in love.

5. Chandeliar ver. Looks very plain. But has 128 pages. If the photoshoot is nice and the print is good quality, than it should be OK. The blur on the pictures looks promising. It gives the mysterious/otherwordly feel to pictures. I like the sticker set. Bare minimum, but cute.

6. QR ver. I don't know what to think about Taeil's absence. It's not the main album version. Still, personally, I'd prefer the animation version of Taeil over the lack of him. He is going into the military soon. It's his last album for some time. Even if most of his fans won't buy such a version, the inclusion would count, the unit complete. Also. This version is very simplistic, and Taeil's character was dressed in a simple suit. It was possible to come to his house, put him in a suit and take a few close up shots. If he thought of coming to the Seoul concert, he was not bed-ridden. Another way: take some old pics of him, draw clothes like in the animation on top.

7. QR ver. is called Nemo ver. in the ad. Should I consider it as "fact check" esster egg or blame stuff's forgetfulness? Heh. There is also a missed space after a comma in the copyright words in this version.

In conclusion: definitely better than Ay-Yo. A well defined concept thanks to the clothes, fresh looks. However, the hard albums themselves remain very simplistic, unimaginative. There is little play on the concept, which actually gives a lot of room for creativity. No decorative elements, no inclusions, no mysteries. There is no additional effort really. The selling point is still "pretty boys".

[themculibrary]

Fics With Titles That Start With N Masterlist

Nameless (ao3) - AvaKelly bucky/clint M, 101k

Summary: A gun is pointed at him before he can even move from his position, the Soldier's metal arm steady in its aim. Clint sighs.

"Nemo," Clint says. "It's tattooed on your wrist, right here," he lifts his right hand and taps his left index finger where his palm ends.

The Soldier's eyes widen. "How do you know this?"

"I put it there."

Never Alone (ao3) - flipflop_diva steve/natasha T, 5k

Summary: She risked everything to help him and Bucky escape. Now it was his turn to return the favor. Set post-Civil War.

Never Falling Back Alone (ao3) - seekrest mj/peter M, 9k

Summary: Peter thinks it’s been years since he’s ever encountered a piece of art that’s captured his attention so fully, trying to remember if there ever had been such a thing.

He’s so entranced by it that he doesn’t even notice the person walking up to him, the clack of her heels mixing in with the chatter of the gallery guests around him.

He’s only broken out of his spell when she speaks, a voice so familiar that he would recognize it anywhere when she says, “Hey Parker.”

Never Have I Ever (ao3) - Lenore steve/natasha E, 3k

Summary: Steve has a lot of never-evers. Natasha decides to help him mark a few off the list.

New Firsts (ao3) - asgardianthot sam/bucky M, 3k

Summary: There’s many things Bucky hasn’t done since the last century, and many others he hasn’t done in the new one.

New Job Posting (ao3) - TenSpencerRiedPlease bucky/tony N/R, 12k

Summary: Bucky has always taken up really weird jobs. Once he was a mascot and got beaten up by twelve year olds regularly, he also worked at a camp for a while doing maintenance and not once but twice some kid shit in the shower. He once wrote Hallmark card sayings for a while, which led to writing fortunes for fortune cookies. Bucky eventually left that job to be a professional pet cuddler, which led to him somehow finding his way into professional human cuddling, which he left quickly because he was paid to be the big spoon, not someone’s therapist. His time as a bed warmer was the most fun though.

So Bucky was more than used to a little bit of strangeness to his jobs- that hardly meant he was prepared for his job working for Tony Stark.

new life (ao3) - haveufoundwhaturlookingfor steve/bucky G, 3k

Summary: Omega Steve meets Alpha Bucky through a nanny gig. Steve was expecting this to be just another gig, nothing more and nothing less. He never expected to bond with the alpha's children, or become part of the alpha's life permanently.

New Tattoo (ao3) - sororexitium bucky/tony E, 7k

Summary: When Tony comes home with a new tattoo, Bucky's a little unsure why he's supposed to make a fuss about it. But it becomes more than apparent that he is, indeed, supposed to do just that when Tony gets morose on him.

After he finds out the meaning behind it, he's more than eager to give it all the pomp and circumstance it deserves.

Never Letting Go (ao3) - AugustStories sam/steve E, 5k

Summary: Steve doesn’t like how quiet Sam has gotten on the plane, he doesn’t like the distant look and the shivering. All he wants is to take him away, to bring him somewhere where he can keep him safe, where they can be alone. His veins are burning with the need to comfort Sam, to show him that they were safe, that he got out, that it all would be okay now.

They were together again. And Steve would give all love to Sam now.

Nine Months (ao3) - thebrightestbird bucky/sarah T, 16k

Summary: “Yo, we’re gonna have a new brother?” Cass asks.

“Or sister,” Sarah answers. “I love you boys, but I’d like a little more girl power in this house.”

Sam is staring daggers into Bucky.

Sarah’s pregnant and couldn’t be happier with the prospect. Bucky’s thrilled and ready to become a father (and husband if he could only convince Sarah). And Sam gets his head out of his ass to fully embrace his partner as part of his family.

Nobody Puts Dummy in the Corner (ao3) - Frea_O clint/natasha, pepper/tony G, 4k

Summary: Natasha is the last Avenger to move into the Tower. For Tony's sanity, that's probably a good thing.

Norns, Save Us (From Ourselves) (ao3) - phlintandsteel bucky/tony E, 37k

Summary: It’s been ten years since half the universe was dusted.

Nothing Is Impossible (ao3) - Boopoopeedoo wanda/vision T, 62k

Summary: Two lives that were feared, and a love no one expected, lead to a miracle nobody ever thought possible. When Wanda made a home in the Avengers compound, she never could have imagined how much her world would change, or that The Vision would become the centre of it. She expected to fall in love with him even less.

The two find a way back to each other after the chaos of the Avenger's civil war. It is then that their love truly builds, and where they eventually create their miracle.

ScarletVision, eventual Infinity War fix-it

not just motions anymore (ao3) - hawksonfire bucky/clint T, 4k

Summary: “Alright,” Clint says, smiling a little. “Do you wanna be big spoon or little spoon?”

Bucky wrinkles his nose. “Why are we spoons?”

Not quite fighting fit (ao3) - Mickeysam steve/natasha T, 10k

Summary: For someone who never thought they'd have children, Natasha managed to do pretty damn well when faced with becoming an adoptive and foster mother at the same time. Shame the baby books didn't exactly coach through baby's first cold, teens with confidence issues and PTSD, or anxious new dads who panic over common colds.

Not that Kind of Boy (ao3) - quirkysubject steve/natasha E, 4k

Summary: Once, during a night of vodka-fuelled commiseration, Natasha had made Steve an offer. Five months later, he's ready to take her up on it.

Not That Type Of Boy (ao3) - flawedamythyst bucky/clint M, 5k

Summary: Despite what Bucky's mom thinks, casual sex is definitely not a ‘warning sign’ about his ‘mental health’. Still, having her walk in the morning after a hookup to find his Grindr match still there promises the most awkward breakfast ever...

nowhere to go but up (ao3) - anthropologicalhands jane/thor T, 2k

Summary: It is not uncomfortable, waking up with Thor’s arm draped over her waist, their legs entangled under the sheets. It is inconvenient when she wants to get out of bed or, at the very least, look over last night’s data.

Numbers and Lines (ao3) - Sheeana jane/thor G, 4k

Summary: Jane Foster visits Avengers headquarters to help install a program she designed, and gets caught up in helping with their latest problem.

nuts about you (ao3) - spidermanhomecomeme mj/peter E, 12k

Summary: It’s simple. Thirty days. All of November. No nutting allowed. Can Peter survive? A friends/roommates to lovers tale of stupid bets, sabotage, and most important of all, nuts.

[mcgrathandwives]

So Marvel update or DC update?

Also I remembered I can write in blue now so excpet all my random shit in blue from now on

Y'all want Peggy or Baby!Danvers and/or Lena Luthor?

[theweepingwitch]

Road to Avalon - Ch1 Caught

This is a quick boring ch, the first couple are episode rewrites essentially, it feels a bit rushed, but gotta get through this to get to the good stuff. i saw a few people liked the prologue, so if you’re reading, I'm sorry it took so long lol

*This is a reader insert, but you’re referred to as Lianna because of the healers oath. The name just means healer*

Rating: M, but this ch not really

Warnings: fighting, violence, death

Chapter 1 - Caught

“THE GREEN KNIGHT!” You looked up from your table. Out the window you saw a Tusk teen running through the paths as he did whenever Gawain returned to Nemos. Your friend and fellow Lianna came up beside you to see what was going on.

“I wonder if we are needed.” She asked. You sighed.

“We usually are.” You wiped your hands on your apron, turning to the room. It was large for the space Nemos had. It served as both your home and a hospital of sorts for the refugees fleeing the Red Paladins. Cots lined the walls, though thankfully few were occupied. A small hearth lay in a pit in the middle of the room, a small pot of healing potion on the boil.

“Lianna!” you heard a voice call from outside. It was the Moonwing Elder. You rushed to the door, surprised to see her, but the now panicked muttering of the people told you something was wrong.

“What is it?” you asked.

“Paladins.” She said, slightly out of breath. Your heart dropped.

“They found us?” the elder nodded.

“Gather the sick, we’re going to the ships.” she said. You nodded, rushing back to the other Lianna. She had a worried look on her face.

“We’re leaving, grab what you can. I’ll get some help to move those who can’t walk.” you said. She nodded, and you put a comforting hand on her arm.

“Fear not, the Hidden will protect us.” you said, trying to sound more confident than you were. She nodded again and rushed off to pack. You went back to your work table, and grabbed the bag you had packed beneath it. Hurriedly, you shoved some last minute things inside, and you rushed out the door.

Fear had taken hold now, people were running, children clung to their guardians, and warriors readied for battle. You made your way through the crowd until you reached the Tusks, strongest of the fey. They nodded briefly in acknowledgement, but continued to ready themselves.

“I need four strong of you to help with the sick.” you said over the din. The Tusks looked among themselves and soon four volunteers came forward, three men and a woman. You nodded in appreciation.

“Come, quickly now!” They rushed off to their destination. Being a Lianna did come with some small role of authority among the fey, no matter the race. Task complete, you wove your way back to the healing room.

---

The next hours passed in a blur, but everyone had managed to get out in time. As you walked along the caravan of fey, whispers began to go around.

“They want to take Gramaire.” the other Lianna said. You looked at her, surprised.

“Are you sure? That’s a well guarded town.” you said. She shrugged.

“With the Red Spear on our side who knows what can happen.”

---

To your surprise, and overall relief, the fey did manage to take Gramaire. You hadn’t thought much of Nimue as a leader, but she had surprised you. Her use of the Sword of Power was clumsy, her abilities not strong enough to wield its power. But you knew she meant to take it to Merlin, so you said nothing.

You had only heard of the fighting, as you remained hidden deep in the woods with the injured. Gawain assured you he would be back to get you, and he had.

There was an infirmary in the town, which you and the other Lianna now occupied. There were two nuns in the back room, but they cowered in the corner as you entered. You raised your hands, showing you meant no harm.

“Sisters, I am a healer, like you. We only wish for a brief sanctuary while we wait to leave this land.” you said. The nuns looked at eachother.

“You are a witch!” one managed to get out. You sighed.

“You may believe what you wish. But know that I and the other fey will not harm you.” you said. Your words seemed to have little effect, not that you were surprised. You pointed to the empty cots in the room.

“We have wounded, we will tend to them here.” You didn’t give them any choice. It half-pained, half-annoyed you to have to be forceful but it was necessary. As if on cue, the Tusks came barreling through the door with wounded in tow. They placed them on the cots, and you got to work. The nuns watched as you pulled bottles and supplies from your bag. One simply couldn’t stand the sight of such “EVIL!” and fled. The other stood frozen in place. You turned to her.

“Your saviour sat with the whores and lepers, and fed them and healed them. Are you not a follower of your god? Will you stand by and watch as people suffer?” you asked her. She stared at you, slowly shaking her head. You motioned for her to join you.

“Then come and I shall show you.” the nun stepped forward cautiously, and knelt down beside you. You turned your attention to the blond raider. You gently put two fingers on his forehead, and prayed.

“Hidden, show what is broken, torn, and bruised. Show me disease, and guide me to health.” You closed your eyes and felt the bands on your arms pulse with power. Slowly, whispers filled your ears, telling you what needed to be done. But then the whispers were quiet, and the voice of the widow came to you.

“I am for him, go tend to others that are not past saving.” You opened your eyes, pulling your hand away. A commotion at the door caught your attention, and Pym came crying into the room.

“Dof! Oh no, no, no.” she cried, falling to the man’s side. You put a hand on hers, shaking your head. Pym’s face contorted in sobs, laying over her lovers dying form. You looked at the nun and nodded to the door. The two of you rose, and left quietly. In the corner of the room, the black veiled Widow watched. You nodded briefly to her, and moved to tend another patient.

---

Gramaire had been under fey control for several days now. The wounded were healing quickly, and the nun had become an enthusiastic student. Nimue had taken the throne from Sir Ector, even if only for a few days. Despite this, the people of the town and the fey came to an uneasy truce. The Red Paladins had been vicious occupiers, while the Fey were peaceful, even helpful, but more importantly, you were leaving.

You were sitting outside the infirmary drinking tea on the 3rd day when you saw Gawain approaching. He came to a stop before you and bowed slightly. You nodded back in greeting.

“What can I do for you, Green Knight?” you asked. He shifted slightly, looking concerned.

“There are caravans of fey missing in the woods. Smugglers bringing fey up to the ships have not arrived as they should. I’m going to investigate, and I think having a healer along may be beneficial.” he said. You took a deep breath. While the council had sent you here, it was to do your work, not going out on scouting missions. Gawain seemed to sense your hesitancy.

“The boy Squirrel is coming along if that makes you feel better.” he said. You smiled, looking behind Gawain to see young Percival practically jumping with excitement.

“He idolizes you.” you observed. Gawain looked back at the boy, smiling.

“I can only hope to be worthy of it.”

“Of course you are, Green Knight.” you said with a wink. You stood and went inside to grab your bag, and your short sword, just in case. The other Lianna was seated by a patient, explaining something to the nun. You went over to her and put a hand on her shoulder. She looked up at you, eyeing the weapon on your back.

“Lianna, I’m going with the Green Knight. I will return by tonight.” you said to your fellow oath taker. She nodded, but looked concerned.

“Be safe.”

---

You knelt beside the body of a fey woman, putting a hand on her wrist.

“They’re gone, Lianna.” Gawain’s voice came up from behind you. You sighed, and got to your feet.

“We will pray for them.” you said. You looked around at the surrounding trees.

“Do you think any made it into the woods?” you asked. Gawain drew his sword, but shook his head.

“Unlikely, but we should check to be sure.” he said. You drew your weapon as well.

“We can split up, cover more ground. But do not stray too far, the paladins may still be here.” you said. Gawain bowed, and set off to the north, and Squirrel to the east. You headed west, using your senses to find life. Only a few minutes had passed when you heard Gawain shout. You spun your head in the direction of his voice, and heard the clash of swords. Your hunch had been right, someone had stayed behind. You ran towards the fighting, and gasped as you saw the Weeping Monk attacking Gawain. You stood frozen, watching the two spin around each other at high speeds. For a moment, the monk was knocked down, and you saw Gawain hesitate. To your horror, the monk took the moment to plunge his blade deep into Gawain’s side. You watched as he fell to the ground.

“No!” You shouted. The Monk’s head snapped to you, surprise on his face. You brandished your sword, and charged at him. He deflected you easily, tripping you so you hit the ground hard. Your sword tumbled away from you, and his heavy boot landed on your back. You felt the wind get knocked out of you.

“Leave her! She is of no use to you!” Gawain tried to yell, but the stab wound made his voice crack. The monk took his foot from your back and pulled you to your feet by the hair. He put his sword up to your neck as you gasped for air.

“Then tell me, why would you bow to her? This isn’t the Wolf Blood Witch.” he said quietly. You realized that this must have been a trap all along, the monk had been watching the whole time. The monk pointed his blade down to Gawain.

“They want you alive, Green Knight. And you,” he looked at the Lianna bands on your arms.

“are an extra gift for Father.”

[popatochisssp]

I need memes for the new boys. Meme me, Poppy. Meme me.

As always, I am ashamed at how well-equipped I am to answer this question...

Meme Fluent: Ash (Undergloom Sans), Ell (Horrorswap Papyrus), Sunny (Gastertale Sans)

Can At Least Ask Where The Bathroom Is In Meme: Brick (Horrorfell Sans), Nemo (Horrorswapfell Papyrus), Aster (Gastertale Papyrus)

Meme-blivious: Yrus (Undergloom Papyrus), King (Horrorfell Papyrus), Merc (Horrorswap Sans), Pitch (Horrorswapfell Sans)

Ash (Undergloom Sans): Very savvy and up on all the most popular memes, scrolling through memes is an activity very low on the ‘activity’ part and great for when he’s feeling a little too tired to do anything else. He’s very into tiktoks, which help him keep up to date on the latest meme songs-- some of which he might try to learn to play on his own. In general, he’s also into memes with funny or weird-looking animals (frogs, possums, axolotls, etc), no specific kind of meme, the presence of a goofy-looking creature in it is usually good enough to get a smile or a chuckle out of him.

Yrus (Undergloom Papyrus): Not all that up to date on the meme scene, he’s usually busy with other things... but! He really loves relatable memes, especially ones about procrastination or not being able to focus on work or having to do chores, everyday mundane irritations that everybody can relate to! He also thinks reading comprehension errors are great harmless fun (i.e., “my bad i thought u said moths”), just silly misunderstandings that make for confusing interactions until someone realizes.

Brick (Horrorfell Sans): Doesn’t always remember every meme, but he gets the gist of most of them. His favorites are the MS Paint memes, usually the more poorly drawn, the better (but a fan of pretty much every catcrumb image he sees, those chaotic little cats are great). He can also be caught laughing himself to wheezing and banging on the table over completely bizarre and out of context interactions--for some reason, they just hit right on the funny bone and he has no defense against them. (The ‘Nyquil Detroit Become Liquid’ post nearly killed him, but he would’ve thanked it.)

King (Horrorfell Papyrus): Not too interested in memes. He’s peripherally aware of them but rarely knows the latest trends or cares to know them. He does have a slight fondness for evil memes--ones about being evil or having an evil lair or just have the word ‘evil’ as an adjective in front of something else seemingly incongruous--he finds them silly and they can usually win at least a smirk out of him when he happens to come across one. If you want a laugh, though, find him some of those screenshots of old newspapers from the 30s-50s, formally written humor that still holds up even now (like The Windsor Star, Ontario, November 1, 1958, The Cincinnati Enquirer, Ohio, February 21, 1947, or Barnard Bulletin, New York, December 20, 1935). Sensible chuckles abound from those!

Merc (Horrorswap Sans): Not too into memery, he’s definitely got a lot of other things going on and isn’t always online. Still, he is a fan of stuff like one-time-i-dreamt and other accounts of peoples’ dreams or thought processes. He thinks it’s interesting, the little peek into the wandering, strange, and sometimes funny subconscious, or how people think about love and tenderness and nostalgia and remind others to appreciate those things, too. It’s a very niche, wholesome sort of enjoyment for sure... but not to worry! If you’re looking for something more mainstream and ‘haha funny,’ he also got very into the whole ‘Surprise! It’s cake!’ meme trend that was going on for awhile and is still delighted to find a video where a realistic object is cut into and turns out to be cake. He’s definitely going to make one himself, maybe as a social media marketing thing for his home business...

Ell (Horrorswap Papyrus): Very meme savvy and tends toward some of the maybe darker types of humor--stress and anxiety memes, introvert memes, et cetera. Animated text is a big one he likes, with enough of a mix of pessimist and optimist memes that he doesn’t come away from checking it actually bummed out or feeling bad, a fine line to walk to be sure. He also likes coding and programming humor! He’s still kinda teaching himself, so he definitely doesn’t get them all, but it gives him a little sense of accomplishment and community when he does, which he really likes.

Pitch (Horrorswapfell Sans): Not interested in memes, and a lot of them are heavily based on visuals which, unfortunately, he’s going to miss the context. Still, he does get a hell of a kick out of brazen and blatant misinformation--the smooth sharks post, facts-i-just-made-up, and the like--and finds it hilarious when someone insists something that is obviously untrue, especially if a lot of people aren’t getting the joke and are trying fervently to convince them of their wrongness. He’s also a little bit evil, so whenever he learns a new piece of whatever slang is popular and in at the moment, he’s going to use it incorrectly, or use outdated slang to induce cringe in those around him. ‘Totes yeet yo’? Yes. ‘That is so pog, as the kids say’? Of course. ‘It’s lit, fam’? Definitely, who do you take him for? The cringier, the better, he revels in the discomfort of others when he throws one of those babies out.

Nemo (Horrorswapfell Papyrus): Definitely knows a little bit about memes, not always the latest trends but his base knowledge is pretty good, and of course has his favorites. He loves John Mulaney references and reaction images, they just Speak to him, y’know? Outside of that, he’s very fond of day-of-the-week memes, Tuesday Again?, Out of Touch Thursday, Fat Fuck Friday and so on. Aside from being a useful reminder of what the hell day of the week it is, he likes the consistency and recurrence of it, just a silly little moment to look forward to at some point like, “oh yeah, it’s el muchacho monday, nice!”

Sunny (Gastertale Sans): Pretty wise to the meme scene overall, loves the fun and creativity of it all. If you want him to absolutely lose his shit, though, show him a terrible picture of an animal--by which I mean, poorly photoshopped, blurred, in mid-panoramic, as long as the end result is an absurd or very screwed up image. Why are things like ‘buff half cat’ and ‘dog but very, very long’ his sense of humor? He has no idea, but the worse it looks, the harder he laughs. He has a bit of a fondness for ‘gotcha’s too, like a Rickroll but really anything where you go into it expecting one thing, and get trolled by receiving something else. (If Megalovania memes were a thing in his universe, he would be all over them, if that gives you an idea of the kind of gag he thinks is funny!)

Aster (Gastertale Papyrus): Aware of memes, but not all that invested in them. He likes corporate and office/business memes a lot-- the kind that roast bosses and unnecessary meetings, translate ‘polite’ corporate phrases, anything to do with emails--because they can be very relatable. He also likes seeing screencaps of people on Facebook or Twitter getting dragged for misinformation, or trying to act like a pompous jerk and getting shredded (for legitimate reasons of course, not just random unprovoked cyberbullying). He...may be involved in a bit of that sometimes himself: he may not be working in a scientific field, but he is half of a scientist, and just petty enough to spend a few hours of his free time looking up and reading through a few credible sources to cite in a strong and well-crafted rebuttal argument if someone is being especially, dangerously wrong about something. Not everyone has the time and resources to do it, so why shouldn’t he? 😇

[naminethewriter]

Breaking The News

Second Part of the Remus and His Daughter Series     ⬅First | Next➡ 

Here on Ao3

Characters: Patton, Roman, Virgil, Logan

Relationships: platonic LAMP

Rating: T

Words: 2,665

Summary:  After Patton's encounter with Remus, he has to tell his friends about it. It's not as easy as it sounds.

While Patton was searching through his pockets to find his keys, he could already hear Roman inside. Most likely he was practicing his lines for his new show that would premier next month. Roman was the lead (which wasn’t a surprise anymore at this point) and when he’d come home with the news, a huge smile on his lips, Patton had given him a bear hug, baked a cake and called Virgil and Logan over for a celebration (you know, like they did every time). Patton was pretty sure that by now, Roman not only knew his own lines but almost the entire play by heart but he guessed a little extra practice never hurt anyone. Plus he loved watching Roman perform, even if it was just rehearsal.

Finally Patton located his keys, pushed them into the lock and opened the door. After closing it behind him, he hung his keys on their hook on the wall. He slipped out of his shoes and hung up his jacket on the coat rack. (He hadn’t really needed it – it was warm enough – but better be safe than sorry!)

 “I’m home!” Patton called into the now quiet apartment; Roman must’ve heard the door. A moment later, his head appeared in the entrance of their living room.

 “Welcome back, padre! Perfect timing, too. There are a few lines I’d like to run by you if you don’t mind?” Roman asked, giving him a puppy look he knew Patton couldn’t refuse. Not that he wanted to. Actually he was glad to be given an excuse to postpone the discussion about his earlier encounter with Remus until later.

 “Sure, kiddo! Just let me slip into something more comfortable and grab a snack,” Patton said cheerfully.

 “Great!” Roman disappeared back into the living room while Patton went to his own room.

 A few minutes later, Patton entered their living room, now dressed in a loose sweater and long skirt with a plate of apple slices (the healthy snack) and cookies (the tasty snack). Roman was pacing up and down, staring at his script and muttering under his breath. With a fond smile, Patton sat down on their couch.

 “Alright, Super Star! Lay it on me!” Roman grinned at him and handed him the script.

 “Wonderful! So in this scene…” Roman began to enthusiastically explain the context of the lines he wanted to work through, occasionally drifting off into sub-plots or character analysis, making his explanation longer than it needed to be. But Patton didn’t mind. He listened with rapt attention, asked a few questions here and there and slowly ate his snacks. After around 40 minutes, Roman put his pen down after writing the last few notes, looked them over and gave a satisfied nod.

 “Thank you so much, padre. I feel much better about this part now!”

 “You’re welcome,” Patton said with a smile on his lips. “Glad I could be of help!”

 “You always are!” Roman pulled Patton into a hug that he gladly reciprocated. “But I think it is time we prepare for game night. Logan and Virgil are gonna come down in less than an hour!” Patton glanced at the clock and saw that he was right. Roman had let go of him and started to clean up a bit. Patton joined him, fixing the couch while worrying his bottom lip. Should he tell Roman now? Having to repeat himself would be inconvenient but he couldn’t tell how Roman would react to knowing Remus was back. Sure they fought last time they’d seen each other but they were still brothers, right? Roman still cared for Remus, didn’t he?

 Patton had gotten so lost in his thoughts that he hadn’t realised that he had stopped smoothing out the couch pillows until Roman called out to him.

 “Patton? Are you alright?” He hovered a few steps away, unsure if he was allowed to touch, worry etched on his face. Patton blinked at him, surprised. He tried to smile reassuringly but he could see Roman’s brows furrowing, so he probably failed.

 “I’m fine, it’s just…” He trailed off, fiddling with the pillow in his hands. Most likely Roman would get mad on instinct, like always when Remus was mentioned. So it would probably be for the best to give him some time to cool down before the others arrived and then he could give a more detailed explanation. He looked to Roman who was patiently waiting for him to continue. Patton took a deep breath.

 “I saw Remus today.” Cautiously, he observed his roommate’s reaction. For a few seconds, nothing happened. Roman was frozen, his worry for Patton still on his face. Then, as if time needed to catch up, many other emotions flickered through his eyes, only a handful of which Patton could catch. There was anger, of course, totally expected but also confusion, sorrow (maybe?) and even a slight sliver of hope. Or maybe that was Patton’s wishful thinking. Finally he settled on, what Patton could best describe as, displeasure.

 “Where?”

 “The mall, on my way back. We didn’t speak though.” Roman gave a sharp nod.

 “I see. Probably for the best. Doubt he’d have anything nice to say anyway,” he practically spit out. Patton wanted to disagree but Roman continued before he could.

 “I’m gonna go change now.” He left, leaving no room for protest. Not that Patton had wanted to. Roman needed time to process, he got that. It had been the right decision, to tell him first. Patton put the pillow down, gave the room a once-over and, deeming it presentable, moved to the kitchen to prepare a simple dinner for the four of them.

   By the time Logan and Virgil arrived, Roman still hadn’t come out of his room. The food was nearly ready when Patton let their two friends in, giving both of them a hug before hurrying back into the kitchen. The other two followed after him. Logan moved to help set the table while Virgil remained by the door, looking around.

 “Where’s Princey?”

 “In his room. He wanted to change.” Virgil nodded, relaxing a bit. Normally Roman would have greeted them at the door as well and the deviation from their routine had caused his anxiety to spike. But hearing Patton’s reassurance eased it again. The three of them together finished preparing dinner and once they were nearly done, Patton asked Virgil to get Roman. He left with a grumble. Logan and Patton finished up and sat down in silence which made it easy to hear the exchange down the hall.

 “Yo, Prince Fancypants” A knock (or maybe a kick, hopefully not) echoed. “Dinner’s ready, you ‘coming?” A muffled response, barely audible from the table before a door opened.

 “Greetings, Emo-Nemo, how nice to have you almost break my door down!” Roman sounded alright, in Patton’s opinion, maybe he wasn’t as worked up as he had feared.

 “Emo-Nemo? Seriously? Also I only kicked your door once, if it broke from that it’s just as weak as that nickname.” They continued their banter on the way back to the table where Roman greeted Logan with his usual gusto but Patton noticed he was avoiding looking at him. It stung a bit, but Patton understood. Remus was a sore subject for all of them and he did bring it up out of nowhere. So he kept on smiling and they fell into pleasant conversation over dinner. Toward the end however, Patton grew quiet, trying to plan out what he was going to say, even if that was never his strong suit. Logan noticed.

 “Are you alright, Patton?” he asked. “You seemed somewhat distracted since we have arrived.” Suddenly everyone’s eyes were on him. Being the centre of attention was another thing that Patton couldn’t count toward his strengths but at one point this evening it would have been necessary anyway. Better now when it seemed like everyone had finished eating. Patton took a deep breath.

 “Well…” He paused, all his preparation flying out of the window when he couldn’t find the right words. “There is something I need to tell you.” He spoke slowly, carefully. Logan raised an eyebrow but didn’t interrupt. “Something happened on my way home and…” He didn’t get any further because Virgil suddenly sat up straight, eyes wide which startled him into silence.

 “Shit, Pat, did someone attack you? I should’ve gone with you, I had a bad feeling through our shift, but I didn’t think…” Logan placed a hand on his shoulder, effectively stopping his rant, his breathing now a bit rapid.

 “Deep breaths, Virgil. I am sure if Patton had sustained any form of physical or emotional trauma we would have been informed earlier.” Virgil nodded, the movement still a bit too sharp but he followed Logan’s breathing to calm back down.

 “Yeah, kiddo, I promise it’s nothing bad, it’s just –“ Patton stole a glance at Roman, who had his gaze fixed away from all of them, mouth set in a hard line. “– complicated.” Logan’s eyes flickered between the two of them, apparently picking up on the tension but choosing not to comment.

 “Alright…” Virgil said, sounding not completely convinced but at least he was breathing evenly again. Patton cleared his throat and shifted in his seat. ‘Just rip the bandage off, come on,’ he thought to himself before taking a deep breath.

 “I walked back from work through the mall again today,” he began, “to window shop, y’know, maybe visit the shelter, like I do sometimes.” He swallowed, staring at his dirty plate to avoid eye contact, his hands fiddling with a crease on his skirt. “And I ran into Remus, well not literally, I just saw him from across the hall and we didn’t even speak, but…”

 “Hold on!” Virgil interrupted again, but not in panic this time. “You mean Remus as in –“ He pointed at Roman. “– his twin brother, Remus?”

 “Yeah.”

“What? How? When? Why?!?” Virgil sputtered loudly.

 “Erm…” Patton was confused by the barrage of questions.

 “None of those questions are relevant right now, Virgil, especially since he has already told us when and how and cannot answer why. It seems to have been a complete coincidence, am I correct, Patton?”

 “Oh, um, yeah. He seemed to be as surprised to see me as I him at least.”

 “So he did see you? You said you did not speak to him, I assumed he didn’t notice you,” Logan said and adjusted his glasses.

 “No, he did see me, he was just otherwise occupied.”

 “What is that supposed to mean?” Virgil asked, exasperated. Roman scoffed.

 “He was probably flirting with some poor fellow; you know how he is.”

 “Actually, it was pretty much the opposite…”

 “Someone was flirting with him..?” asked Virgil, now unsure.

 “No, no flirting whatsoever. He was there with a kid.”

 “What he’s hanging out with teenagers now?” Roman rolled his eyes. “Not that surprising, honestly, he was always immature.”

 “Could you two please just let Patton finish his explanation?” Logan cut in, his tone sharp. Virgil looked a bit sheepish and Roman scoffed again, avoiding eye contact once more but neither said anything else. Logan motioned for Patton to continue.

 “When I first noticed him, he was standing alone further down the hall and on the other side, staring at something I couldn’t see. I was so caught off guard that I ended up staring.” Patton once again started nervously fiddling with his skirt. “Suddenly he crouched down and this little girl, maybe ten years old, came up to him with ice cream. He picks her up, sees me and we awkwardly wave at each other before the two of them disappear into the crowd.” He helplessly shrugs at the end of his explanation and waits for the others to react.

 For several moments there was silence.

 “Great!” Roman suddenly said loudly, throwing his arms up dramatically. “My brother’s a kidnapper now, just wonderful.” Logan raised an eyebrow.

 “You believe he kidnapped her? For what reason would he do that?”

 “How should I know? I haven’t known what goes on in his head since we were nine! But as if there are any children who would spend time with Remus willingly.” Patton opened his mouth to protest but Virgil spoke first.

 “Do you think she’s the only one or are there more?”

 “Could be! I wouldn’t put it past him. He gets obsessed with the weirdest stuff.”

 “His ‘obsessions’, as you call them, were always academical in nature, he never would inflict any harm on others, intentionally. If he needed a test subject, he would always use himself before anyone else,” Logan protested.

 “And how do you know that, Mr. Research Assistant? I’ve known him my entire life and even I don’t know the boundaries of his insanity! He might not even have any!”

 “You are being ridiculous, Roman. Just because you don not like him, you cannot just assume that he would harm children for some sort of thrill or –“

 “Maybe we should call the police.”

 “See, Virgil’s on my side.”

 “I mean, just as a precaution, he might be dangerous.”

 “You are working off assumptions from five years ago, you cannot –“

 “Oh shut it, Specs, the police can at least make sure he’s not harming anyone –“

 “Nobody’s calling the police!” Patton’s sudden volume cut them all off. He had stood up and was now glaring at them. His eyes softened at their shocked expressions. He took a deep breath and continued calmly.

 “Look, I know Remus did some bad stuff, I won’t defend him on that, but Logan’s right: he never hurt anybody on purpose, at least not physically. And when we dated, neither of us were in a good place and yes, he hurt me badly but that was five years ago. We all changed, so could he, for better or worse. From what I could tell that girl seemed really comfortable with him. Plus Roman, didn’t you say Remus was good with kids when your cousins were visiting one Thanksgiving?” Roman mumbled something under his breath but didn’t argue.

 “We also have no viable information to give the police,” Logan spoke up. ”We have no address, he might have changed his name and none of us have spoken to him in five years. Filing a report would be ludicrous.” He stood up. “Now I believe we should all take a few minutes to calm down before proceeding with the games. If you would excuse me.” He moved to leave the kitchen while simultaneously pulling out his phone.

 “What are you doing?” Virgil asked, eyeing his phone. Logan glanced at him, barely slowing down.

 “I am going to call Janus. Considering that Remus used to be his best friend, I am sure he would be grateful to know that he is indeed still alive.” With that he disappeared down the hall. Silence enveloped the kitchen once again and Patton sat back down. A door opened and closed somewhere in the apartment. Virgil and Roman both pointedly avoided eye contact. After a few moments, Patton sighed.

 “Look, I know you two had your problems with Remus, so did I. And I’m honestly not sure how to feel about this either but regardless of all that, I’m glad to know he’s ok. He’s still a friend and your brother, Roman. Who knows, we might not see him again for another five years. See the positives?” He glanced between the two, waiting for their responses. Virgil just gave a slight nod and Roman pouted, though he did look at least a little bit guilty. Patton gave them a small smile.

 “Alright, kiddos. I’m gonna go set up the living room. You come over once you’re ready, ok?” Two hums were his answer which he could understand as agreements. Satisfied he moved towards the living room but paused in the kitchen doorway.

  “Oh, and if you could clean up the table, that would be great!” Roman and Virgil groaned in unison.

[lorei-writes]

Ha! Question game, let's see. That is a long list. But for lil'Lorei!

How would you spend your day with Masamune? (Because is it still a question who your fave is? 🤪🤪🤪)

Most surprising thing you learned about any of the warlords?

What memes do you associate with the warlords? We need more cursed.

EEEEP, NEMOO! How u doing? All good? I wanted to make some “Where is Nemo” joke, but oh well, I failed at it miserably after thinking for much too long.

How would you spend your day with Masamune? (Because is it still a question who your fave is? 🤪🤪🤪)

I don’t see anybody coming even close to threatening Masamune’s position, haha. 

Omg. How. How. How do I know? *blushes* Hmm, let me think...

Okay, let’s assume it’s all doable. 

I would convince him to go on a short hike or walk through a nature park in the morning. Because I love doing this and I haven’t had a chance do to it in forever. Botanical garden could work too, or perhaps a zoo (not all zoos, but more like the one they have in Wrocław? It’s a sanctuary for wild animals - monkeys - who were to be illegally traded too). Actually, scratch that, let’s just go and see where it takes us, it’s the best this way. 

Then, after returning, I would like to make some pierogi. This sounds super cheesy, but like, it’s a very nice thing to do with other people? And it doesn’t take that long? And it’s delicious? And he surely hasn’t eaten any Polish dishes? And the homemade ones are the best?

It comes with the added benefits of the fact that I live with three cats, so you know, meowing may occur. Instant test of the cat too, let’s see what my kitties think. My cats tend to try to steal human food, sooo... It could be funny. 

Later I would torture him with this picture:

And if he didn’t cringe, I’d be seriously concerned, but oh well, that’s his charm, I guess? After thinking for a moment longer, that’s probably a sign of high fever.

After dinner we could go see the medieval castle here. Or actually, if it was possible, I’d like to show him Malbork! I was never there either, but I think it’s the biggest medieval castle in Europe? Or at least one in such a good state. I want to see it soooo bad. 

I would be probably dying from tiredness by the evening, though. Which is fine. A movie, perhaps? There are so many good ones, hmm. Well, either way, if he were up to it, I’d cuddle to him and probably doze off sometime during the movie, unless I haven’t seen it beforehand. Then I may get too excited and he wouldn’t let me live this down lol. 

Most surprising thing you learned about any of the warlords?

In game version of them? Nobunaga and toe sucking. I did not expect that. 

History-wise... Hmm... Probably the relationship between Mitsuhide and his wife. It was a pleasant surprise, and it was not exactly within my scope of expectations. 

What memes do you associate with the warlords? We need more cursed.

Oh, okay, okay, listen, I don’t have pictures, so I will need co-operation.

Nobunaga singing never gonna give you up to konpeito. MC is tied in the background and looks unimpressed. She is being kidnapped.

Hideyoshi and it’s the same picture meme, except it’s the picture of Mitsuhide and a punching bag. 

Ieyasu as this unimpressed tik-tok man debunking “lifehacks” by simply doing the things the-common-sense way.

Mitsunari and this meme with your dark side speaking to you. Except the dark side is quiet. 

Masamune and the “there are two wolves inside of you”, except the text says “but I ate one and only one remains”. 

I don’t have anything for Mitsuhide, I just look at his shoes and ask why. 

Okay. This is very regional. But. For some reason, Shingen and Kennyo, when I see their full-body sprites, radiate a Slavic dad energy to me. So all the memes with “who are you holding the flashlight for?! Yourself?!” (when helping with car repairs) and “yo, son” apply. Actually. Give them this meme with “yo, fellow high school students” or however it went, the one with an old person trying to act “cool”.

Another regional: Yukimura with “dej pan trzyyyy” meme (university student to a professor: “gib me a passing grade”). 

Sasuke looking at Kenshin, text: Peace was never an option. 

Kenshin and loss. Except the only thing except for Kenshin in the picture are swords. His face turns gradually poutier. Yes, not even background, the background is white. There is only Kenshin. And swords. 

[bluebellhairpin]

Plague

Damian Wayne X Batmom!Reader

A/N: Heh heh, I’m following my Batmom religiously now. She��s gotten too cool. - Nemo

Warning(s): Nightmares, Zombie-like stuff (gore, blood, think Cranks from Scorch Trials) 

Summary: A team-building exercise went a bit weary for you and Damian. But as time runs out, maybe he’ll be able to finally get rid of Talia’s version of a mother, and replace it with yours. 

Listening to: ‘Save Your Tears’ by The Weekend (ft. Ariana Grande) - ‘Save your tears for another day, so I made you think that I would always stay.’

Series Masterlist 

Masterlist   

Damian never really liked (y/n). 

Even after Talia broke into the cave and confronted him, Bruce and (y/n), his feelings only changed from silent loathing to slight admiration. After all, not many people could get Talia to act like she did, and it seemed (y/n) was one of them.

Eventually Damian and (y/n) were sent off one night. Bruce told Damian that it was a ‘team-building exercise’ and that it ‘would do him good to get to know the only mother-figure in the manor’ in case something happened. 

What Damian didn’t expect was that something happened while they were walking back to the car from the part couple hours spent in the carnival. (Damian wouldn’t admit, but he did like her a little more after she won him one of the giant stuffed animals that no one ever won.) 

It all happened so fast, and (y/n) recovered quickly enough to get to the car - luckily with Alfred waiting inside. She was quiet the whole way home, only speaking once she’d taken a look at the wound on her leg, saying something to the butler about ‘quarantine’ and ‘he’s back’. 

Damian didn’t like the sound of that. He went straight to his room as Alfred helped (y/n) towards the cave. 

The next day at breakfast, (y/n) wasn’t there. 

Bruce was looking somber as ever, and Dick looked uncharacteristically sad. Jason was nowhere to be seen - not unusual - and he was told Tim had been awake and in the cave since 4am.

 Damian thought they were just upset that (y/n) had gotten shot, and he wouldn’t lie if someone asked if he felt a bit guilty. He might’ve been able to help, and he didn’t do much more than not get in the way. 

Damian ventured into the cave around lunchtime, being greeted with a new glass cage set near the computer. One closer inspection, it wasn’t a cage - more like a quarantine room with only three sides glassed off - fitted with a bed, desk, it’s own computer, and a door off to one side - presumably for a bathroom. Inside was (y/n), donned in plain clothes, and working away on a keyboard inside the box. 

(y/n) noticed Damian as he approached, sending him a weary smile, and kept typing away. 

“What’s this?” Damian asked, gesturing slightly with his hand before stuffing it in his pocket. 

“Quarantine room.” she replied curtly, still typing away, but casting glances his way.

“Obviously, but what for?” 

“Me. I’m sick.”

“What,” Damian started with a scoff, “One bullet wound and you’re out for the count?” 

“It wasn’t just a bullet.” Tim said, walking back to his place at the computer. “Ma, results say it was the sulfuric and nitric acid. Mixed with that same other stuff we haven’t named yet.” Tim said, now addressing (y/n), of whom paid full attention. Treatment Damian didn’t get, and it tugged at his stomach in an unfamiliar way. 

“Thanks Timmy.” She said, then went back to typing again. Damian decided he wasn’t getting answers here, so he made his way back upstairs to his father. 

Bruce decided to do work at home today, and Damian now knew why. (y/n) was hurt, and it seemed Bruce wanted to be around in case something bad happened. Or more like something worse happened. 

“Father,” he said, Bruce looking up from his paperwork as Damian walked in, “Why is (y/n) acting so weak?” Bruce’s eyes narrowed slightly, then he sighed and motioned for Damian to sit down.

“She’s not ‘acting weak’. She’s been quarantined for our safety.” 

“Why? Sulfuric and nitric acid would only be detrimental to her health not ours.” 

“You know anything about zombies, Damian?” Bruce asked, full attention on the boy in front of him. Damian tilted his head.

“I’ve seen ‘Scorch Trials’, but those were cranks not zombies.” 

“Well the bullet (y/n) was shot with last night was coated in a substance that - after the incubation period - turns the host into a more agile version of themselves, stronger, smarter, and very carnivorous. Not to mention it’s contagious, it can spread as fast as the black plague.” 

“(y/n)’s going to turn into a crank?” Damian said, voice less stern, and more soft. “A crank that can infect others?” 

“Only if she gets out before…” Bruce trailed off, running a hand through his hair. 

“Before it kills her.” Damian finished, more of a statement than a question. He was starting to realize things were more serious than he realized, but he needed all his questions answered before he could walk away from Bruce yet. “How do you know so much?” 

“Because it’s happened before.” Bruce said, looking at Damian with a soft smile. “She was the first to test the cure.” 

“How many were infected back then?”

“A whole town in the middle-east.” Bruce sat back in his seat, getting comfortable. He felt Damian had a good few questions left. “The League came and helped contain it to just the town. (y/n) was one that helped, and paid the price for getting too close when trying to help.” 

“Why don’t you just use the cure now?”

“It’s not that easy, some of the ingredients are found on other worlds, some only Superman can get to because of his invulnerability. As you know, Clark isn’t always available. As of Jason’s Intel, only (y/n) is infected, so the urgency for a cure isn’t as great.” 

“Why didn’t I know of this before?” 

“It was before your time. We’d just lost Jason when it happened, we were both not thinking right. (y/n) viewed the mission as a way to get away from Gotham. And me.” 

Damian fell into silence, no more questions, and he felt himself falling back into his seat to mirror Bruce’s position. 

“It’s come back then. Whatever you thought you’d stopped before is back.” he said, locking eyes with his father as a few moments silence passed again. “A bullet, so someone has the plague substance. We need to stop them.” 

Days passed before something happened again. The news showed police barricading streets in inner Gotham from a whole hoard of infected civilians. Since they weren’t kept in quarantine like (y/n) was, they turned faster. Jason’s red hood could be seen helping the police along with Dick in his Nightwing costume. Bruce was in the Watchtower, overseeing the making of the cure with Tim. 

Damian stayed with (y/n), donned in his Robin suit in case he was needed with Dick and Jason, or his father and Tim. It seemed that even though her effects were slowed, she suffered more. 

The acid made her cough and cough, her throat must be feeling raw by now by how chapped her lips were. Her eyes were sunken in and rimmed red, and normal (s/c) skin turned pasty, with black bulging veins poked out of her arms, hands and neck. She’d lost weight since she was locked up, Damian noted even though it was slight, and her hair lost its usual shine. 

It made his stomach churn to see (y/n) looking so horrible. She wasn't just Bruce’s light in the dark world of Gotham, really she were light for the whole family too. 

Damian moved closer, pulling the computer chair with him, and sat next to the glass wall, resting his hand on the pane. Realistically, he hadn’t been sleeping the best since his talk with Bruce about what (y/n) was going through. His sleep was filled with images of her. 

One of her crawling through the floorboards of the manor, chasing him, scratching along the walls and leaving a trail of sticky black blood, skin rotted away and eyes glazed over, muttering over and over.

You could’ve saved me. 

Another she was laying in bed, looking like she was sleeping, and his father came up behind him, eyes glazed over like hers were in the one before, speaking in her voice, saying the same thing.

You could’ve saved me.

The most recent, she was dangling off a cliff, holding his hand, and the harder he held on, the more he tried to pull her up - for his sake and his family  - the heavier she got, the more she slipped away, and then she fell. She screamed, but he only heard one thing whispered in his ear.

You could’ve saved me. 

“Damian?” she asked, having moved closer. From a distance she looked much better than she really was, even so he was sure she hid most of it well. “What’s wrong?” her voice was so soft, so caring. She was so concerned about him even though she was the one dying where she stood. 

“You- you better not die before father gets back.” he said, voice breaking slightly as he fought back the start of tears. “He’ll miss you too much.” She let out a slight chuckle, sliding down the glass wall to sit. He breathing sounded easier if she wasn’t standing.

“I don’t plan on it, trust me.” she said, looking up at him, cracking a smile. “Can I tell you a secret?” He nodded. “I think it hits harder the second time round.” 

They both let out half-hearted laughs, Damian wiping away at his eyes. He wasn’t going to cry. She was acting too normal to be so close to death - or something worse. 

She wasn’t going anywhere, he’s sure that’s what she’s trying to say.

“I’m sorry.” he whispered, resting his arm against the glass alongside hers. If the glass wasn't there he would’ve taken her hand. 

“What for Dami?” she asked, voice as quiet as his. Damian’s throat was tight. Dami.

He liked that.

“For not saving you.” he said after a while silent. “I was there. I should’ve been more vigilant.” She clenched her hand.

“You don’t need to be sorry. If it wasn't me it could’ve been you, and I wouldn’t have been able to forgive myself for that.” she said, leaning away to cough. She recovered quickly, a hand on her chest. “I don’t blame you for this Damian. There are bad people in this world, and they do bad things. Good people - like you, your father, and your brothers - they’re what stops the bad from overrunning the good.” 

“Can I tell you a secret?” Damian said, mimicking her question and posture from before. She nodded with a gentle smile. “You’re a much better mother than Talia.” 

To say Bruce was surprised when he got back to the cave after administering the cure to the crowd in Gotham was a good way to put it. 

When Clark mentioned to Bruce over the comms that Damian was very subdued when he delivered the cure to (y/n), he just thought it meant the boy was wanting (y/n) to just go back to normal, and therefore not being a pain. He didn’t expect him to be on the floor next to the quarantine room, sleeping, with the computer chair pushed a little ways away. 

(y/n)  smiled as Bruce approached, color already returning to her cheeks, and she raised a finger to her lips to motion for him to be quiet. The cure would kick in fully in a couple more hours, and she’d be completely free from infecting others in a little over a day. 

“What’s this?” Bruce asked, voice very low so as to not wake the sleeping Damian. 

“He was looking after me.” She said with a smile, having stood to stand a little away from the sleeping boy. “You should probably take him upstairs. He’ll sleep better in his own room.” 

That morning, when (y/n) woke up in her hospital-like bed, Damian was back. Having obviously moved back to the cave from since Bruce carried him upstairs, and now was sleeping slumped over the computer desk. 

(y/n) moved to the bathroom adjoined to the glass room, even she could tell she looked better. Color had completely returned, her eyes looked brighter, and the black veins in her neck and arms were more of a dark blue. 

By the time she reemerged, Bruce was in the cave, and Damian had woken. 

“Ummi.” He said, standing and walking to the glass wall, placing his hand up where (y/n)’s was. “You look so much better today.” he said, smiling. 

“I thought I always looked good?” she scoffed, earning a laugh from Bruce.

“Sure, sure darling.” Bruce said smiling over at the woman and his son. 

“Ah, Bruce! I’m hurt.” She said, Damian sending something that resembled a playful glare at his father, before returning his gaze to (y/n).

“Damian,” she said, looking down at the blue-eyed boy, a playful grin slipping onto her lips, “What does ‘Ummi’ mean?” 

Bruce barked out a hearty laugh, the red tinted cheeks of his son over-ruling the much more serious glare he was sending his way.

[evilblot]

For the ship bingo: Pete/Trudy (back at you :D), Phantom Blot/Makandra (from the Darkenblot saga), Basil Blackspot/Candy (the girl from the Estate a Green Pond).

Sorry for the late reply, also you owe me a new pair of kneecaps for these asks sjsjskakkaka

Pete and Trudy

God I love them. SO. MU C H.

Especially Trudy, and if I didn't like and respect their relationship so much, I'd probably be shipping my sona with her sksksksk <//3

Anyway, I completely agree with the analysis you made for my ask, I just want to add that one, I gotta reread the Cronache dalla Frontiera because I remember absolutely nothing about it aside from that cute robot dude sjsksk, and two I don't really enjoy when they (as in the Topolino writers) keep recycling Pete as Mickey's love rival when it comes to conquering Minnie's heart in all their stories, even the ones with Trudy's involved (unless it adds more layers or some nice dynamics to their established relationship but even if so I'm picky).

I mean, do y'all need a rival for the new and exciting rodent love intrigues? Mortimer is right here, so come get yo nasty rat boi and leave piccioncini alone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

PB and Makandra

Have you ever seen a dog trying to eat a lemon? That's me while attempting to write a coherent reply without frothing at the mouth too much sjsksk

Despite understanding what the casual reader may see between these two, I only see a partnership that's nothing more than blind fanaticism.

Makandra has the zealot mentality, as in she's ready to sacrifice everything to favor the Blot who, in her eyes is the "Supreme". A master, and fundamentally her owner, and despite the apparent respect and concern he seems to have for her, she's nothing but a disposable pawn he won't hesitate destroying the moment she's no longer useful to him, and while she appears to share the same ideals, I'm actually convinced he manipulated her (as well as many others) to believe so, but that's p much it. She's here to help him, not to make a difference in the grand scheme of things he and Nemo are working on.

I know y'all see a man and a woman with a significant height difference working well together and go wild, but nah lads. Maybe they fuck sometimes, between working on a prototype and whatnot, but I can't really imagine them building an actual relationship together, nope.

This is the hill I decided to die on and y'all can't change my mind.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Basil and Candy

Of all the questionable ships I've came across in Goofy Reporter (both fanon AND canon), this is the only one that doesn't make me cringe. Also keep Agatha Christie's fursona away from me before I sink my teeth in her jugular and start chewing until there's nothing left to bite.

I'm a sucker for the childhood friends growing up together, falling in the love but then having to leave to follow their own path only to meet and rediscover how the feelings they had are still as strong as they were back in the old days. Also Basil needs someone to remind him there is more to it than vile money, someone who makes him rediscover his humanity and mostly that childhood innocence he had to bury under layers of cynicism and coldness to survive in the unforgiving world he was thrown into, and Candy sure does fit the role.

Maybe I'm projecting a wee bit too much, but still that's my opinion ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

[meganshinsou-tm]

Sugarcoated. (m)

↳ chapter five: eri

❧ genre: pro-hero hitoshi, adoptive siblings, happy ending

❧ chapter warnings:

[multi-chap masterlist] [previous chapter - next chapter]

"I'm sorry but why did we take a train earlier if you had a damn vehicle?"

Hitoshi smirked as he pulled the black jeep off the curve and into traffic, then took out his phone and handed it to you. You took it and gave him a look.

"The fuck am I supposed to do with this?"

"Text Shouta for me, tell him we're on our way. And to answer your question, I didn't feel like wasting the gas for such a short trip."

"I guess that makes sense. I didn't take you for such a cautious driver Toshi."

"Well, I can't be breaking the law, I am a pro-hero. Plus, I have precious cargo," he looked at you and winked making a blush cross your face, "Can't let anything happen to those apples!"

Rolling your eyes, you punched the hero in his arm for being such a prick. After texting his father, you placed the phone in the cup holder and crossed your legs in the seat that was massive to you. It was nice and warm in the vehicle compared to the chilly temperature outside which only dropped with each hour, and it smelled extremely good, like a clean leather. At first the drive was quiet as the two of you drove out of the city and more into the outskirts. You huffed and puffed, not really content with the silence and Hitoshi could tell.

"If you have music, you can link your phone and play it, I don't mind, you seem a little restless."

The permission was all you needed, quickly taking your phone out you didn't need to ask questions on how to set up the Bluetooth, you were extremely tech savvy. You asked if the hero had a preference in genre but he didn't, apparently he liked everything.

"Okay then, I'll just hit shuffle and you tell me when to stop!"

The hero nodded. Soon music filled the speakers as a song came on, the intro was a mans singing then guitar riffs and heavy drums came in followed by screaming. Shinsou glanced in your direction with a confused look and he laughed.

"I didn't exactly have you pegged as a fan of screamo but it explains a lot."

"I listen to all kinds of genres Toshi, I'm no one trick pony! So yay or nay?"

With a smile the hero shrugged his shoulders and thought before he shook his head 'no'. You giggled and changed the song, you went through multiple artists until one song started to play. You stifled down a squeal and Hitoshi glanced your way.

"Sorry, I can't skip this song Toshi, it would be a sin!"

He laughed and turned it up for you, only to have his ears met with you singing along ... in Korean? Then rapping as you danced in your seat. All he could decipher was "cruisin' like Nemo." He'd go between keeping his eyes on the road and to on you. It was a completely new side that he's never seen and he really loved it. You'd gesture to him, wink, basically just putting on an entire show. The hero couldn't keep a smile off his face or hold back his chuckles.

"Yolo yolo yolo yo, where the party yah? Tangjinjaem tangjinjaem tangjinjaem," you sang out bouncing in the seat.

Once the song was over he let go of the steering wheel, using his knee to drive it, and clapped his hands. You blushed, but not because of embarrassment, if anything you were extremely comfortable acting a complete fool in front of the hero. Smiling, you leaned forward bowing and waving your hand like some pageant queen.

"I'm speechless, can I get an encore later, please!"

"Shut up Toshi, stop teasing!"

"Oh sweetness, you'll know when I'm teasing," he flashed a smug and lazy smile, the kind that made your heart flutter and body heat up.

"Like I said, shut up!" You replied, rolling your eyes and looking out the window a small smile hidden on your face.

The total drive-time from your place to Shouta's was about twenty minutes, you couldn't imagine the commute the pro-hero had to make going back and forth from his teaching job, no wonder he looked so fucking exhausted all the time.

You were immersed in scrolling through your device, giggling at different memes until the jeep came to a soft stop. Your eyes looked up to see you were parked outside of a really cozy and decently sized house. Hitoshi was quick to get out as he walked over to open the door for you, your heart started to race and you felt sick to your stomach.

The hero opened the door and jumped back as he saw your face pale. You sighed and put your face into your lap, hands hanging from the back of your head as you groaned, feet tapping anxiously. Shinsou softly smiled and stepped closer. The jeep was a decent ways up from the ground, you practically had to jump into it with his help before leaving. His hand softly rubbed your back and the free one ran through your (h/c) locks.

"Toshi, I can't do this, I'm going to fuck something up I just know it."

"Listen to me (Y/N), you're making this out to be bigger than it really is. It's just dinner with my father and little sister, letting Eri get a feel for you. From what I've seen today, you two will get along splendidly. You both love sweets, you can both be little pains in the ass and you just so happen to like her favorite k-pop group."

"You know BTS?" Your head popped up, locks of hair cascading and covering your eyes that seemed to sparkle at the mention of the boy band.

"Yes, I thought I recognized that song you danced to earlier. She tries to tell me about them all the time and I have no idea what she's talking about. She speaks this gibberish about a cookie and tea?"

You couldn't help but snort, face falling back into your lap and shoulders shaking from the laughter. Hitoshi knew you were making fun of him but he smiled, happy to see your mood perk back up. His hand cupped your chin and made you look up at him.

"You'll be fine sweetness, I'll be right by your side if you need anything. Just be unapologetically you and the kid will fall in love."

You breathed out your nose and sat up, nodding your head with a determined look. Shinsou chuckled and grabbed your hips to help you out of the tall vehicle, he ushered you to walk up the concrete path to the front door while he grabbed the apples from the backseat. Doing so you psyched yourself up. 

"You've got this (Y/N), it's just a kid. A really, really, important kid, somewhat dangerous kid but still ... just a kid."

"Alright gorgeous, let's get inside, it's starting to fucking freeze out here!"

"Hold my hand," you unconsciously blurted out. A blush crossed your cheeks and you looked at the ground. "Uh – please...hold my hand."

In record time Hitoshi slipped your small hand into his, his long fingers intertwined with yours and he squeezed. You smiled and let out a relieved breath, stress and anxiety instantly melting from your body. He walked you to the door and went to turn the handle making you stop him with a free hand.

"Toshi, don't you fucking knock!"

"Uh – no, this is technically my second home!"

You backed off and rubbed the back of your neck with a sheepish grin, Shinsou laughed and mentioned yet again how cute you were and continued to open the door. Walking in the temperature instantly changed, it felt like a massive blanket was instantly wrapped around you and it was so cozy. The air smelled heavenly, your nose rising up as you inhaled deeply.

"Oh man, that smells so good!"

"Sucking up already?"

A deep and monotone voice made you squeak like a mouse and jump back. Your eyes averted to the direction of the voice and landed on Aizawa. You've seen him before in the media but never in real life. 

His hair was tied back and face cleanly shaven, besides the bags under his eyes he didn't look as dead as you thought. To be his adoptive father, Shouta and Shinsou bared an eerie resemblance with each other, maybe it was just their tired expressions though. 

Hitoshi tugging on your hand made you come back to reality and your feet started following along with him towards the kitchen. It wasn't anything extravagant but it was bigger than your shitty one, your eyes sparkled at the appliances, the double ovens built into the wall, all the counter space! Completely in your own world Shouta quirked a dark brow and looked at his adopted son.

"She okay?"

"Oh yeah, she's perfectly fine. (Y/N)'s a baker, so stuff like kitchens tend to make her go all heart eyes."

"Hmm, Eri should take to her quickly then, especially with those!" Aizawa nodded to the platter of apples Shinsou placed on the counter.

The hero smiled and squeezed your hand as he informed Aizawa how you went out of your way to make them just for this occasion. You rolled your eyes at his praising and bragging. It was flattering but you didn't like to be the center of attention.

"Where is the little turd anyway?" Shinsou asked. Aizawa informed him that the girl could be found in her room.

Hitoshi pulled you along out of the kitchen and back by the front door. He removed his shoes and held out his hands still bent over and looked up at you.

"Does he want to take my shoes off?" 

He smirked, getting tired of waiting and took your calf in his hand while the other slid off your shoe and switched to do so with the opposite side. You could only watch, it's like you were a child. Hitoshi removed the coat you wore over the sweater and removed his own jacket, placing them on a rack then took your hand in his again and lead you upstairs.

"Uh – thanks," you questioned as you walked.

"Sorry, I just have this urge to take care of you."

Pouting your lips and blushing at his words, your heart also soared. After rounding the corner at the top of the stairs the hero lead you down the hall to a door and knocked on it. The pitter patter of feet could be heard running around but no other sound came and the door didn't open. Hitoshi smiled and turned to you, he raised the hand he held to his lips and kissed the back of it before letting go and pinched your cheek making you giggle. 

The hero thought of how difficult these next three months would be, having to divide his attention between two of the cutest faces.

"Give me a sec?"

You nodded as he opened the door slowly and crept in, you walked in but leaned against the door frame watching the purple haired man closely. No little girl was seen and Hitoshi rummaged through the room, first flinging back the covers of the bed, dramatically opening the doors of the closet, even looking inside of the tiny dresser drawers. It didn't take long to realize he knew exactly where the girl was but he was playing along with her game.

"Now where could she be," he teased with a smug grin.

Slowly he crept by a little tent that was sat up in the corner, stringed lights adorned it along with decorative butterflies. The room was 100% girl, pink and sweet, pure and innocent. 

The massive hero dropped to his hands and knees as he flung open the drapes of the tent but there was still no girl in sight. All of a sudden a precious giggle could be heard, making both your heads snap in the direction it came from. The purple curtains that hung in front of a white painted window could be seen swaying and a flash of white hair shimmered. Hitoshi got back up to his feet and walked towards them, purposefully standing in front of them and still looking around as he scratched his scalp and faked being oblivious.

"Hmm, well I guess if she isn't here then that must mean more candy apples for us!"

He started to walk back towards the door a grin on his face as he held up three fingers and counted down. Right when his last finger folded, a small girl emerged from behind the curtains and to him, clinging to his leg and pleading.

"Please, please Sou-Sou! I've been good at school all week!"

Your heart melted at the little girl, she was stunning. Her ruby eyes sparkled as the looked up to the lavenderette. Her hair was an ice white and shined as bright as her eyes and her little horn was adorable. You looked at Hitoshi's face, he beamed down at his sister, you could tell he adored her. His arms reached down and under her little arms as he hoisted her up and onto his hip. His fingers tickled her sides making a contagious laugh escape from her chest.

"You're such a pain, you know that? Why can't I ever come home to a nice hug, I work too much and the last thing I want to do is exert all my energy into finding your little butt!"

"But you're the best at hide and seek, daddy always end up napping when I seek him out."

You snickered to yourself, imaging this precious ray of sunshine running around the house searching for Aizawa only to find him knocked out underneath a coffee table. The little girl looked in your direction, making you quiet down instantly and clam up. If anything this occasion was the equivalent to meeting a significant others parents for the first time, but in your case it was more than that. This little girl was obviously the center of Hitoshi's universe, even if he tried to play it off and it only put more pressure on you. You swallowed harshly and waved to the little girl.

"Eri, this is (Y/N), she's a very good friend of mine and she may be babysitting you while you stay with at my house."

The little girl smiled, which shocked you. 

She cupped a hand over her brothers ear, whispering something that wasn't meant for you to hear obviously. Shinsou's purple hues looked at you, making your heart beat fast as he chuckled and smiled. Eri pulled back and looked at him waiting for something.

"No Eri, not yet at least."

Her little hand touched his cheek and they looked at each other briefly before Hitoshi placed her back on the floor and she skipped over to you and looked up. You crouched down to her level and she held out a small hand, you glanced at Hitoshi and he mouthed a "go ahead". You took her tiny hand in yours and she smiled, giving you the best handshake she could and making you smile.

"Ooh, you have a pretty smile," the little girl cheered as she put her thumbs and index fingers to her cheeks smiling as big as she could.

You giggled. "You have a very pretty smile too Eri! It's so bright," you replied and returned the cute gesture.

The little girl giggled. Her red eyes fell low and you followed her gaze. As your hands extended the sleeves of your sweater fell and exposed your lightly bruised wrists. Your eyes widened and looked at Hitoshi once more, he only softly smiled back and walked towards the two of you, crouching next to Eri as you had done. The little girl looked at him and once again cupped his ear to speak to him. He let out a huff of air through his nose and nodded. 

Eri turned to face you again, putting her hands together and looked at you nervously.

"Did someone hurt you (Y/N)?"

"Uh – sort of but I'm okay." You rubbed the back of your neck, looking at the ground, she couldn't possibly understand that even though your skin was bruised, it was your emotional health that actually hurt since the incident.

"Can I touch them?"

You pursed your lips together and looked at Eri's face. Her ruby orbs caught yours, you instantly relaxed for some reason as if her eyes soothed and reassured you. 

Licking your dry lips with a nod you reached out your hands to the little girl. She softly smiled and placed her small hands and fingers on the tarnished skin. Once she made contact you could feel a warm and soothing sensation throughout your entire body and mind, as if someone were hugging you. Eyes looking down you could see the purple turned yellow marks slowly dissipating underneath the multiple layers of skin. Your jaw dropped with a gasp.

Hitoshi smiled and rubbed his sisters back as she healed you, proud of her kind heart. Once the skin was back to its all-over (s/c) tone, her hands rose and fell back to her sides. You looked in awe and rubbed each wrist, amazed. A tear threatened to build up and escape but you fought it back and smiled at the little girl.

"There, now you really are okay."

You blinked at the little girl. For a six year old she was very perceptive. 

Hitoshi ruffled her white hair and he stood back up to his feet, you followed and smiled at him. He rubbed the back of his neck and smiled back then look between you and Eri.

"Alright cuties, whose ready to get their butt kicked at UNO?"

"You speak as if you'll be the one emerging victorious Toshi," you replied.

Shrugging his shoulders he chuckled and motioned towards the door. You extended your hand to him and he went to reach for it, only to be cheated when Eri's small hand clasped around yours before him. He made a face and grunted in frustration making you laugh. 

Eri smiled and paid no attention to the glare her older brother threw in her direction, she only made a cute little "hmph" and dragged you out of the room. You looked at him apologetically and he smirked walking closely behind the two of you and shoving his hands in his pockets and mumbled out only for you to hear.

"Cock blocked by my own sister!"

[stonerbughead]

Maria watches friday night lights (#5)

I made it to season 3! And I’m gonna try to post more often to keep it shorter: so here are my thoughts from 3x01 - 3x03:

-oh wow principal Tami Taylor? What a Dillon power couple.

-I just SCREECHEDDD ah this transition from coach Taylor’s “On the field or off the field, there isn’t anything Matt Saracen can’t accomplish” to Matt saying “ugh I can’t get this knot out of my shoe” 😭😂

-aww ok ok so Tyra, Landry, Saracen, and Julie are seniors now?! Fun! And Landry and Tyra really are that on again off again couple huh. They continue to confuse me and keep me from having strong opinions tbh

-wow Tyra really has a different hairstyle ever season huh

“I got just two words for ya: Jumbo Tron.” Definitely not two words, buddy but okay, go on.

“You ever seen two people engaged on a Jumbotron at a football game? I mean, just think about it, love and football are the two greatest things in the world.” Yo I hate Buddy garrity and if I were Tami I’d kick his ass right out my office.

“We’ve lost four teachers to budget cuts this year. You really think we need a Jumbotron?” -🔥 comeback by my queen Tami

-Wow billy and mindy are an item now? That tracks actually. Townie love.

“You’re a rebound from Jesus.” There’s something there about Riggins being godlike. Like, sexually. Amen.

-these teachers need a union! But I love Tami giving the teachers the floor at this staff meeting. But how fucked is education in the US that twelve years later the teachers’ union is dealing with the same issues of lack of funding and teachers having to buy their own supplies?!?!

-oh JD’s dad is an awful, controlling menace! Here we gooooo

-yooo this scene was classic

-I am Tyra:

-but also #growth that Mindy and Billy’s shall we say semi-disastrous and impulsive proposal then motivated Tyra to reach out to Tami for help to get into college! We love that.

“I gotta start living my life as Brian. I’m never gonna be Smash again.” Damn. That hurts.

“See I don’t accept that fate for myself and I’m gonna do everything in my power to avoid it.” - YES TYRA GO OFF way to stand up mediocre white man vice principal!!!

-yasss reallocate those funds from the Jumbotron to academics, you go, Tami!

-aww Tim is so endearing with Lyla damn. We always say it on Bodysuits For Bughead and it applies here: men caring is just sexy.

When I tell you I CACKLED at this Buddy reaction

-keep fighting the good fight, Tami! But yeah did you really think the press would be on your side, girl? Pitting a husband against a wife is just low hanging fruit for this town’s football press! little do they know, Tami, that your husband immediately offered to get you more wine so who’s really winning here

-yesss Tyra running for student council and Julie helping her pass out flyers, we love this

-HA Julie walking out of Applebee’s to find Matt Saracen kicking cardboard boxes out of frustration. I miss these two, I’m excited to see them interacting again.

-ohhhh shittttt Matt did the very painful thing of going to find his mom just to help his grandma, what a caring boy. He just loves his grandma 😭

-awww the old team came to practice with Smash for college tryouts?! my heart

-i PFFFTed out loud at the McCoys: “oh, Lyla is a vision, Buddy. are you sure she’s yours?”

-omg poor Riggins being uncomfortable af at the fancy dinner. class tensions~

-listen I’m honestly soft at the idea of Matt and Julie slowly becoming friends again, him offering her a ride home from work and telling her about going to see his mom and becoming an emancipated minor was so sweet and felt natural.

My heart!!!

-“you’re cute when you rant” agreed, Julie, and I respect your game!

-I’m sorry Lyla should not have to apologize for thinking a finding Nemo quote as Mindy’s wedding vows was a joke!! I would too. 😬

-usually I’m on Tami’s side but I think I’m on Eric’s side when it comes to these McCoys, I don’t trust em. Plus once I saw that valet service? Eat the rich.

-here for Matt and Julie flirting at the party and getting busted making fun of JD

-Eric Taylor grumbling “chocolate fountain” is a mood I DONT TRUST THE MCCOYS

-and like, I get that JD is talented, but Eric is right that he’s 15, new to the team, and a freshman! Like in high school sports that shit does mean something. Right?

-omg the silent background so you just hear saracen’s heavy breathing as he tries to win this game! (And fails.) oh my heart!

-ew jd’s dad is literally SMILING about Saracen’s failure? What is wrong with you sir?

-Julie waited for Matt after the game?!?! I’m sorry y’all I ship so hard! This is precious

-Aw Eric is so broken up about Saracen’s failure. And Julie and Matt are just walking along talking about anything but football. The Taylors ❤️ Saracen and so do I.

[dramabitposts]

The best movie quotes of all-time

Here are some of the best Hollywood movie quotes of all time. Talk about dramatic one-liners!

“Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn (Gone with the Wind, 1939)

“Here’s looking at you, kid” (Casablanca, 1942)

“You’re gonna need a bigger boat” (Jaws, 1975)

“May the Force be with you” (Star Wars, 1977)

“Toto, I’ve a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore” (The Wizard of Oz, 1939)

“I’m going to make him an offer he can’t refuse” (The Godfather, 1972)

“Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine.” (Casablanca, 1942)

“You talkin’ to me?” (Taxi Driver, 1976)

“There’s no place like home” (The Wizard of Oz, 1939)

“The first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club” (Fight Club, 1999)

“I am your father” (Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back, 1980)

“Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.” (The Princess Bride, 1987)

“Why so serious?” (The Dark Knight, 2008)

“I’ll have what she’s having” (When Harry Met Sally, 1989)

“This is the beginning of a beautiful friendship” (Casablanca, 1942)

“We’ll always have Paris” (Casablanca, 1942)

“Bond. James Bond” (Dr No, 1962)

“I see dead people” (The Sixth Sense, 1999)

“I’ll be back” (The Terminator, 1984)

“You can’t handle the truth!” (A Few Good Men, 1992)

“E.T phone home” (ET, 1982)

“Yippie-ki-yay, mother f**ker!” (Die Hard, 1988)

“To infinity and beyond!” (Toy Story, 1995)

“Houston, we have a problem” (Apollo 13, 1995)

“You had me at hello” (Jerry Maguire, 1996)

“There’s no crying in baseball!” (A League of Their Own, 1992)

“Here’s Johnny!” (The Shining, 1980)

”I am serious. And don't call me Shirley.” (Airplane, 1980)

“Mrs. Robinson, you're trying to seduce me, aren't you?” (The Graduate, 1967)

“Carpe Diem. Seize the day, boys” (Dead Poets Society, 1989)

“Leave the gun, take the cannoli” (The Godfather, 1972)

“Show me the money!” (Jerry Maguire, 1996)

“Say hello to my little friend” (Scarface, 1983)

”You've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya punk?” (Dirty Harry, 1971)

“I love the smell of napalm in the morning.” (Apocalypse Now, 1979)

”Fasten your seatbelts. It's going to be a bumpy night.” (All About Eve, 1950)

“Roads? Where we're going we don't need roads.” (Back to the Future, 1985)

”You don't understand! I could've had class. I could've been a contender. I could've been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am.” (On the Waterfront, 1954)

“I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore!” (Network, 1976)

”The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist.” (The Usual Suspects, 1995)

“Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.” (The Godfather Part II, 1974)

”Every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings.” (It’s a Wonderful Life, 1946)

“I am big! It's the pictures that got small.” (Sunset Boulevard, 1950)

”What we've got here is a failure to communicate.” (Cool Hand Luke, 1967)

“Shaken, not stirred” (Goldfinger, 1964)

“I’m the king of the world!” (Titanic, 1997)

“Mama says, 'Stupid is as stupid does.’” (Forrest Gump, 1994)

“Just keep swimming (Finding Nemo, 2003)

“If you built it, he will come” (Field of Dreams, 1989)

“I'm not bad. I'm just drawn that way.” (Who Framed Roger Rabbit, 1988)

“I’m having an old friend for dinner” (The Silence of the Lambs, 1991)

”Play it, Sam. Play 'As Time Goes By.’“ (Casablanca, 1942)

”I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too!” (The Wizard of Oz, 1939)

“Hasta la vista, baby” (Terminator 2: Judgement Day, 1991)

“The Dude abides” (The Big Lebowski, 1998)

“I'm also just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.” (Notting Hill, 1999)

”Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain!” (The Wizard of Oz, 1939)

“Stella! Hey, Stella!” (A Streetcar Named Desire, 1951)

“After all, tomorrow is another day!” (Gone with the Wind, 1939)

”You is kind. You is smart. You is important.” (The Help, 2011)

“You know how to whistle, don't you, Steve? You just put your lips together and blow.” (To Have and Have Not, 1944)

”Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're my only hope.” (Star Wars, 1977)

“I mean, funny like I'm a clown? I amuse you?” (Goodfellas, 1990)

“Go ahead, make my day” (Sudden Impact, 1983)

”I have always depended on the kindness of strangers.” (A Streetcar Named Desire, 1951)

“It’s alive! It’s alive!” (Frankenstein, 1931)

“Argo f**k yourself” (Argo, 2012)

“My precious” (The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, 2002)

“Good morning, Vietnam!” (Good Morning, Vietnam, 1987)

“I wish I knew how to quit you” (Brokeback Mountain, 2005)

“That’ll do, pig, that’ll do” (Babe, 1995)

“Elementary, my dear Watson” (The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes, 1939)

“I don't want to survive. I want to live.” (12 Years a Slave, 2013)

”Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the war room!” (Dr Strangelove, 1964)

“You ain't heard nothin' yet!” (The Jazz Singer, 1927)

“Wax on, wax off” (The Karate Kid, 1984)

“Yo, Adrian!” (Rocky, 1976)

“Nobody’s perfect” (Some Like it Hot, 1959)

”Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in.” (The Godfather Part III, 1990)

“Magic Mirror on the wall, who is the fairest one of all?” (Snow White and the Seven Dwarves, 1937)

“They’re here!” (Poltergeist, 1982)

”They call it a Royale with cheese.” (Pulp Fiction, 1994)

“I'm just one stomach flu away from my goal weight.” (The Devil Wears Prada, 2006)

”Badges? We ain't got no badges! We don't need no badges! I don't have to show you any stinking badges!” (The Treasure of the Sierra Madre, 1948)

“It was Beauty killed the Beast” (King Kong, 1933)

“I'm walking here! I'm walking here!” (Midnight Cowboy, 1969)

“These go to eleven” (This is Spinal Tap, 1984)

“Forget it, Jake. It’s Chinatown” (Chinatown, 1974)

“Chewie, we’re home” (Star Wars: The Force Awakens, 2015)

“As if!” (Clueless, 1995)

“You make me want to be a better man” (As Good as It Gets, 1997)

”Get your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape!” (Planet of the Apes, 1968)

“I drink your milkshake!” (There Will be Blood, 2007)

“My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions and loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.” (Gladiator, 2000)

“You complete me” (Jerry Maguire, 1996)

”If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.” (Taken, 2008)

“When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.” (When Harry Met Sally, 1989)

“They call me Mister Tibbs!” (In the Heat of the Night, 1967)

”They may take our lives, but they'll never take our freedom!” (Braveheart, 1995)

“Love means never having to say you're sorry” (Love Story, 1970)

For plenty more dramatic content, check out www.dramabit.com.

[kflirts]

demon next door;

word count: 3.1k

genre: smut

summary: wooyoung is your absolutely fuckable neighbor. he’s slightly less fuckable when he beats up your roomamate. still fuckable tho

notes: my friend cait dared me to write her a wooyoung smut, so i originally wrote this with her name but changed it to reader version to publish it. ye! also thats why mark is ur roommate bc she has Questionable Judgement.

It is not every day you meet a person who is just, so infuriatingly attractive.  Even less often is the occurrence that said person is the extremely shitty boy who lives 16C (aka next door) and likes to get check his mail without his shirt on. Not that it’s a problem, of course.  Actually, it’s kind of a problem, because at 2:23 in the morning you could think of things that you’d rather hear than people moaning on the other side of the wall.  You understand needing some attention every now and then, but this guy is literally fucking people loudly every night. Like, he takes Viagra religiously or something. It literally drives you insane because this dude just sounds like he knows what he’s doing. And it’s obviously impolite to eavesdrop but god, how good could he be to make every single partner make that much noise? Your roommate obviously found the noises less than hot. Mark Tuan wasn’t necessary the kind to let things like that go easily, apparently being disturbed every night was slightly irritating to him. Actually, Mark made sport out of banging against the wall in retaliation and laughing when he heard the boy and his partner yell in annoyance at the interruption. It seemed Mark and the guy just really didn’t get along.  This obviously sprouted a bit of an unspoken conflict between the two.

“Son of a bitch.” Mark walked in one day, slinging his bag on the floor, paper in hand. You looked up, eyebrow quirked.

“What’s wrong?”

“That fucking douchebag next door complained to the landlord about us.”

Your legs closed instinctively at the mention of your neighbor. You paused, thinking of what you possibly could have done that was worth doing to the landlord.

“About?” You continued your task of cleaning your tanks, hurrying before your fishes got tired of the bags they were in and decided to Finding Nemo that bitch. 

“He said our vape air was bothering him. Landlord says this is a smoking free complex and we have to stop.” Mark flopped on the couch across from you, shaking his head as if this was the worst news he’d ever heard.

“Well.” You sighed, shrugging. “Maybe it’s for the best. You nearly died trying to learn tricks earlier.”

“Oh, fuck you!” Mark’s lips tugged up into a smile. “Vaping is my passion.”

You chuckled, “You really should go out more, buddy.” 

Mark fell quiet, and you could tell he was mad.“One day I’m gonna beat that dude up, I swear.” 

Chuckling at the empty threat, you shook your head. “Try not to mess up either of your faces, eh?”

Mark lifted his head now, wiggling his eyebrows. “I’m gonna ignore the fact you’re dying to fuck the prick next door.”

“I do not!” You cried indignantly.  

You totally did.

“Yeah.. you do.” Mark laughed. 

“I don’t! I think he’s cute, is all.” 

Mark scoffs. “Whatever you do, don’t look into his eyes. He might steal your soul or something. He’s a demon”

You chuckled. “That’s offensive.”

“You’re right. It’s offensive to demons everywhere. I apologize.”

At this point, your tanks were both completely clean, so you went to fill them up with water, but not before saluting Mark with your middle finger.  Mark was an unimaginable pain in the ass, but a cool one. Like a big brother. Or a cousin. Something like that. Either way, no matter how much he insulted your taste in romantic partners, and how often he burned macaroni and cheese into your pot, at the end of the day, the big dummy was family. Nobody else would let you get drunk on soju at 2pm, honestly. 

From the bathroom, you heard Mark yell.

“Yo, how mad do you think Douchey Mcdreamyface would be if I stole his mail?”

“That is such a bad idea!” You call back, shaking your head. Idiot.

“You’re questioning my methods, ____!” 

“I’m not questioning it, I’m saying it’s stupid!”

“What’s he gonna do, beat me up? He’s like 5′2. I’m so scared.” Mark teased, now in the door, watching you transfer your fish back into their tanks. You only laughed.

Spoiler alert: He totally beat him up.

“What in the fuck?” You sigh, standing in between Mark’s legs as you dabbed at the bruise on his face with alcohol. He had already gotten a long, drawn out lecture when he came in at 12am, severely busted up and blaming it on the boy next door. Now you were tending to his “wounds” as he sat on the kitchen table. “How could he have possibly hit you that hard? Like, what could he have done?”

“I grabbed his ass.” Mark replies flatly, causing you to freeze in horror. He stared at you blankly. “I’m joking, ___. It was bound to happen sooner or later.”

“So not funny.” You shook your head, handing him a bag of frozen veggies to hold to the bruise on his cheekbone while you looked at the one on his jaw. You tsked. Such a pretty face to get fucked up. “I don’t get why every time you talk to him it has to end up in an argument?”

“Maybe because he’s a fucker who gets on my fucking nerves and he’s always fucking in his fucking squeaky fucking bed! Like, fuck! And he think’s he’s like Casanova or fucking Leonardo DiCaprio or Michael Jackson or something!” Mark responded. “His dick is like 3 inches, I swear.”

“I can tell that you think you’re funny.” You replied sympathetically, placing a Hello Kitty band-aid on his jaw. Mark winced, and you moved, patting his head affectionately before grabbing your phone and heading to the door.

It was time to talk to Mr. Dreamy Mcdouchey.

It would be a lie to say you weren’t a little excited to have a conversation with him. Preferably, under better circumstances, it wouldn’t be confronting him about beating up your roommate, but, you know. Baby steps. 

You knocked on the door of his apartment, once-overing yourself, making sure your hair wasn’t all over the place, as it tended to be at 1am in the morning.

You started a bit when the boy opened the door, eyes half shut, mouth flat and icepack to his deeply bruised shoulder. He had on a loose tank top, the kind you buy from Walmart for $3, and grey sweats. His hair was falling in his face, sticking to his forehead with sweat and water, and you assumed he was just coming from the shower.

“Didn’t you get my text Chaey-” He began to talk before looking at you. He stopped, his lips curving into a smile, the same smile a cheetah might have when it sees a baby gazelle without its mother. A preying smile, maybe. “Fuck. Hello.”

You blink, can’t helping but to but stare at how godly his cheekbones are when he smiles, how his eyes gleam with something different. Mark did not shit when he called him a demon. 

“Wooyoung.” He stretches out a veined hand, the one not holding the icepack to his shoulder. “And you’re _____.” 

You blink again, dumbfounded. “Yeah.” You shake your head, trying to clear your head. “Yeah. I’m ____. Sorry. I live in 14C.”

“You’re my lovely friend Mark’s roommate, I know. Please, come in.”

You nod, walking through the door into his apartment. It just smelled sensual, he was burning some kind of candle that smelled sexual. You gulped, realizing you were actually in his apartment. Now, if he would just be in you, everything would be great.

Wooyoung walked past you, slipped shuffling against the tile of his kitchen area, and he offered you a glass. 

“Thirsty?” He lifted an eyebrow, and it took everything in you not to say only for you.

“Mm, I could go for something, yeah.” You seated yourself on a chair in front of the island he stood behind.

“Grape juice?” He smiled.

“Something stronger, maybe?” You offered a smile back.

He smirked, leaning forward as he whispered, “Yeah, you do strike me as a soju kinda girl.” 

Something about the tone of his voice, or maybe it was the fact that he was closer to your face, made you shiver in your seat as he poured the liquid into your glass. You thankfully took it, bringing it to your lips. He watched you carefully as you swallowed, licking his lips when your eyes made contact. You, on the other hand, were trying not to choke and die. 

“So.” You said, once you put the glass down. “This isn’t a social call, sadly.”

“That’s a pity.” Wooyoung nodded, poking out his lip.

Your lips tugged into a smile, but you tried to stay professional. “I wanted to talk to you about you and Mark maybe.. I don’t know.. Settling this? Like a truce?”

“A truce?” Wooyoung tried to stop himself from laughing. “Well, aren’t you just a regular little peacekeeper.” 

“Well, it’s really for the best.. You’re both hurt right now, and I really don’t want to have to nurse Mark back into health every time you two have an argument..” Your fingers played with the rim of the glass, and you averted your eyes down, he was staring at you much harder than you would have preferred. He hummed, seeming to understand. He turned around to put his bottle back in the cabinet behind him, and then returned to stand in front of you, tilting his head as he stared in silence for a few moments.

“If you don’t mind me asking, are you and Mark a couple? Or does he just fuck you for recreation?”

You stared at him blankly, having absolutely no idea how to respond to him. You were mildly pissed, but also mildly dumbfounded. 

“We... We’re not? And he doesn’t?” You say, your voice more defensive than you’d intended. 

Wooyoung scoffs. “Surely, a pretty thing like you... He must not be able to keep his hands off of you, right?”

“What the... No? It’s not even like that. Mark’s like my brother!”

Another scoff. “Angel, let’s be truthful, yeah? You’re telling me you’ve not even thought of fucking him?”

To say you hadn’t, at first, would be a lie. But after learning how absolutely stupid Mark Tuan truly was, that ended pretty quickly. Not to say he wasn’t hot, but he just really, really wasn’t your type. 

“I’m sorry, what do these questions have to do with you ruining his face?” You ask, preparing to storm out.

Wooyoung tilts his head. “Didn’t Mark tell you?”

“Tell me what?”

“Oh... Angel.” Wooyoung chuckled, as if understanding everything now. “He hit me first, you know.” He leaned in closer. “I think I said something that might have pissed him off.”

You still didn’t understand, so you raised your eyebrows. 

“You see, I was under the impression that you and Mark were fuckie-fuckie. IT seems I was mistaken now, but, I think I might have said something to him around the lines of.. One day, he’d be hearing you screaming through the walls. Obviously, Mr. Tuan wasn’t Mclovin’ that.” 

To say you were both absolutely mortified and horribly turned on would be a gross understatement. 

“That is revolting.” You manage, throat dry. 

“That’s not what your face says, dollface.” He counters, and you stand up immediately, about to make your way out. He briskly blocks you in a few strides, his smile sickeningly innocent. 

“Move, Wooyoung.” You say steadily.

“Make me.” He smirks at you, his eyes just daring you to touch him. 

You never turn down a dare. God, you wanted him so badly, it was scary. Something about always being able to hear him, made you beyond curious. So you pushed him in his abdomen, and he got sent back a couple of steps. You raised your eyebrows.  

“Damn, you’re strong for a little thing.” He smiled happily, stepping forward again, this time closer than before. His hot breath fanned your face. “Wanna do that again?” He teased.

You wanted him. So, so badly you wanted him. “Don’t make me handle you, Wooyoung.”

“Oh, angel, you couldn’t handle me if I came with instructions.” With this he closed more space, his chest now brushing against yours. Your breathing hitched as you froze. His hands found their way to your hips, pulling you closer to him. His lips brushed your neck as he bent to it. “I’m gonna be honest with you.” He whispered. “You’d look so pretty when I eat you out.”

You shivered, not meaning to, but tilting your head back to allow him to tease your neck. Your eyes fluttered shut as you inhaled his scent. 

“Do you want me to do that?” Wooyoung asked, leaving a single kiss on your neck. You nodded. “I said, do you want me, ___?” 

“I do!” You whined back. He smiled at your words, taking your chin in his fingers. 

“Hey. Good girls respond the first time, okay?” He said softly. 

“Good thing I’m not a good girl and I do whatever the fuck I want.” You say smugly, your hand wandering under his shirt. He furrows his eyebrows together, grabbing your arm in a swift motion and pinning it to your side. 

“You do whatever you want, so long as it pleases me, do you understand?”

Something about how stupidly dominant he is made you want to comply, so you nodded. There would be another opportunity to act out, after all. He smirked, satisfied with this answer, and he wasted no time in ridding the both of you of your shirts. He bit his lip as he groped your tits, to the point you wondered if his past partners had never let him touch them. 

He teased your nipples above your bra and you whimpered slightly. 

“What? Does that feel good?” He breathed, his lips nearing yours, to nip your bottom lip. 

“Fuck. Yeah.” You nodded, and he quickly dragged you into his room, pushing you onto his bed. You crawled on your knees to the middle, slipping off your leggings and tossing them to the side. He crawled towards you, and you grinned. 

“Come here.” You breathed, and he obliged, of course. You crashed your lips onto his, and he quickly took control, slipping his tongue into your mouth. His hips grinded against your leg softly, and you were surprised he was already that wound up. You chuckled, sucking on his tongue softly, hands on either side of his face His skin was unnaturally soft and you sighed. He felt better than you’d imagined. 

“You taste so good.” Wooyoung mumbled at a point when he pulled away. “What does the rest of you taste like?”

“Stop being so seductive.” You whined, hands tangled in his hair. He was going to be the death of you.

“I’m just being myself, baby.” He brought his fingers to your open mouth. “Suck.” 

You could have screamed at the words, and quickly obeyed, sucking his digits softly. He takes this time to unhook your bra, groaning at the sight, and you chuckled around his fingers. His mouth teases your nipples, and you begin to whimper softly, the pool between your legs begging for attention. You plead with your eyes, and he notices, chuckling.

“I’m not going to touch you unless you beg, Princess.”

“I don’t beg.” You said indignantly. watching his every move as he teased right above the hem of your panties. He looked up at you, eyebrow raised, not being able to hold in his laugh. 

“Is that so?” He sat up and snapped your panties against your skin. You felt your insides twist up. “Yeah.”

“Aw, she’s playing bad girl, cute.” He leaned closer to your face. “Too bad I don’t go down on bad girls.”

You sighed, his fingered so close to you driving you insane. “Wooyoung, you have no idea how much I want you.“ 

He smirked, slowly sliding your panties down your legs. “Tell me, and say please,”

“Please. Wooyoung. Please touch me. If you don’t, I might cry.”

“Fucking hell, I’m going to ruin you.” He breathed, taking in the sight of you once he’d discarded of the undergarments..

“Please,” You repeated, running a hand through your hair as you motioned to your womanhood, urging him on. He lowered his head down, blowing in between your legs.

“Fuck.” You whined, biting down into your lip, and bucking your hips forwards. His hands rested on your thighs, as he positioned his mouth inbetween you. You were a whiny mess, aching for a touch from him.

“Jesus, ____. I haven’t even touched you yet and you’re moaning like a whore.” He looked at you, eyes deep and teasing.

You resisted the urge to say something snarky, knowing that would only make him take longer. He nodded at your silence before rubbing his index finger along your covered clit. His touch lingered. Your breath got caught in your throat. You whimpered, more than ready for whatever he had for you.

“So. Fucking. Pretty.” He kissed your heat between each word, his finger rubbing soft circles on your clit. All you could manage was a hum, nodding as he slipped a finger into you,  pumping softly. You see stars at his pace, and you whimper out his name. “Woo....Wooyoung.”  He smirks at your soft moans. “Shh, princess, we don’t want Tuan hearing us, now do we?”  You honestly felt way too fucking good to care. He added another finger into your heat, thumb still rolling against your clit. You felt tension grow in your stomach, and you had to scratch his arm to avoid from moaning when he added his tongue into the mix. He pressed it flat against you, and smirked. 

“Who’s fucking you this good?”

“You are...shit...” You moaned out your responses, his name tumbling out of your mouth over and over.

He hummed against you, adding pleasure to the waves he was sending up into your body, his pace quickened and all it took was him mumbling “Come for me, angel.” for you to come undone in his hands. He allowed you to shake and convulse, nonsense spilling out of your mouth, smiling at how absolutely fucked you looked. He rode your orgasm out, and didn’t stop, pumping his fingers in and out of you at a faster pace than before, and you begged loudly for him to stop, the overstimulation driving you insane, but he continued. “Again, princess.” He mumbled against your thigh, and come again you did. “Fuck.” You breathed out, trying to steady your breathing. “Do... you don’t think Mark heard me... do you?” Wooyoung grinned, abruptly adding a third finger and thrusting them in and out of you. This caused you to shriek loudly, which was drowned out by a long thump against the wall.

“Yeah, I’d say he did.”