#neither working. partner's adult son who lives with them is the only income in the household
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dreamlogic · 8 days ago
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aye can i get a fuckin uuuhhhh
break. on my burger
#shit chat#family cw#got sicker than i have been in years my bank closed my checking account on accident work is nightmarishly busy#and my mother is sending strings of long voice memos in the family group chat again#i simply will not be listening to them. at most i'll ask my dad or brother for the sparknotes version#bc her pattern for the better part of this year has been radio silence. no attempt at communication whatsoever#and then BAM like 5-10 min worth of voice memos screaming crying sobbing shaking#I DON'T KNOW WHAT I HAVE TO DO TO GET MY CHILDREN TO FORGIVE ME. I'M CRAWLING ON MY KNEES ON THE DESERT FOR A HUNDRED YEARS REPENTING#WHAT THE FUCK IS FAMILY FOR YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING AND I'M SUFFERING SO MUCH AND I'M ALONE BECAUSE#MY FAMILY ABANDONED ME. I HAVE NO ONE. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I DID BUT I'M BEGGING. I NEED HELP I NEED MY KIDDOS AROUND ME PLEASE I'M DYING#followed by several minutes of sordid updates on her shitty miserable life#which is tbf pretty shitty & miserable. she's extremely physically disabled & mentally ill#her partner had a severe stroke a couple months ago and is still recovering. they've both been in & out of hospital#neither working. partner's adult son who lives with them is the only income in the household#partner's permanently disabled mother also lives with them. plus 2 large dogs 6 cats and 3 each of chickens & ducks#they're in court suing their landlord bc he's trying to evict them but the property is an uninhabitable shithole to begin with#but like. whenever i do make the mistake of responding to one of her groupchat tantrums#she's just like 'oh you know me im a survivor :) i just miss yous is all :) now that you're here i'm gonna bitch about my life for an hour#and ignore everything you have to say and show active disdain & boredom whenever you tell me anything about yourself or your life :)'#and if i offer help she refuses it#like it's just a bid for attention. expecting unconditional love and absolution and salvation from us bc That's What Families Do#she doesn't actually seem to give a shit about any of us as real people. just this ironclad delusion of unconditional family support#that she frankly has not earned#my brother actually did go visit her in the hospital on thanksgiving. driving 2hrs out of his way to do so#and she was a raging passive aggressive bitch to him and threw the gift he'd brought her back in his face#ma'am i know you're Going Through It but so are the rest of us & frankly you've given me zero reason to want to interact w/ ur caustic ass#plus this is petty but yet another way in which she doesn't listen to me & makes no attempt whatsoever at genuine relationship#i've told her numerous times that responding to groupchat voice memos is hard for me. that i love & miss her#and if she wants to see me or needs help or whatever to please contact me one on one either by call or text#nope. refuses to respond to/initiate individual contact. ONLY traumadumping in the fam chat. TLDR MY MOM IS A DISFUNCTIONAL TOXIC NIGHTMARE.
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thebroccolination · 5 months ago
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KAWI'S WHOLE DEAL WITH PISAENG'S MONEY IN BE MY FAVORITE
Y'all are gonna get my raving thoughts about this series for the rest of time but especially while I'm trying to finish this video essay by the anniversary of the finale next month.
SO.
KAWI'S WHOLE DEAL WITH PISAENG'S MONEY.
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I fucking love how they handle the money thing in this series because HOO boy is it fun to ponder and like any nuanced piece of art, Be My Favorite doesn't hold your hand and guide you to cemented conclusions. The audience gets to extrapolate and discuss and draw their own conclusions.
So what we know about Kawi's upbringing is that he grew up with a single parent who struggled with his health and finances. Poverty followed Kawi through university into his adult life until he went back in time and befriended Pisaeng, Sentient Green Flag and Professional Open Wallet.
In the beginning, Kawi has zero qualms taking Pisaeng's money. In fact, he shamelessly asks for it.
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To Kawi, money is happiness. Not having money has made his entire life difficult and empty and cold, and he's confident that having money will make him happier. So if Pisaeng has so much of it, why not ask? Pisaeng's just some rich jerk anyway, right?
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Then Pisaeng evades a conversation about their drunken kiss, and Kawi hops ahead to a future where he's financially successful and he's still not happy. And worse, he's taken everything else Pisaeng had to give him to the ruin of them both.
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So Kawi decides to go back and commit to a timeline without alcohol and without fame. To live life as his imperfect, awkward, flawed, and frustrating self, sober and scared and feeling so deeply unworthy of someone like Pisaeng who probably reminds him of his self-sacrificing dad who only ever cared about seeing his son happy.
Now, Kawi recoils from the money Pisaeng freely offers because he knows for sure that he has the potential to exploit Pisaeng to self-isolation and exile.
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It says a lot about the trust they build as a couple that after their graduation, Kawi is willing to live with Pisaeng in a place neither of them pays for given to them by Pisaeng's mother. He makes a wry jab about Pisaeng being a spoiled rich kid, but by this point, Kawi has lived in poverty and in luxury, and he finds his balance somewhere in the middle.
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By the end of the series, Kawi works as a lyricist in the comfort of a home he doesn't have to pay for. That it was a gift from essentially his mother-in-law means that he doesn't have to feel indebted to Pisaeng. They work separate jobs making separate salaries, and Pisaeng probably makes a more stable and higher income judging by the clothes he's wearing in episode eleven and the notoriously unreliable nature of creative work in general, but the fact that they don't seem to fight over money anywhere in the future we see tells me that Kawi insisting on a balance early on became a constant throughout their relationship.
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Kawi's growth as a character is clearest when we're shown how at peace he is with the simplicity of his life. He may be living with his rich boyfriend, but his life's pleasures are things like having his own money to spend, a job he enjoys, friends who love him, and a partner he adores.
As my friend Laura said earlier, "Money can't buy happiness but the freedom to pursue it."
And like, holy fuck is that a good message to get from media. Not the dismissal of money and the problems it can solve, but the acknowledgement that even when you have it, your choices are what dictate what kind of life you'll lead.
I fucking love this series, bro.
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hxroccmplexarchived · 3 years ago
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The Tragic Hero
      Growing up, Niklaus lived with his single mother and grandfather in a shady part of town where crime ran rampant. Starting from a young age, Niklaus had witnessed shootouts, robberies, assaults- and each time he desperately wished he’d been able to do something. His mother saw this in her son, the sheer determination in his eyes when someone helpless was in trouble. A look in his eyes much like his fathers. But as kind a person she was, she always reminded Nik to never get involved, for it’d only mean the worst off they’d be. 
Living in a family with low income, by his senior year of high school Niklaus chose to drop out and find himself a job to help bring in extra cash, much to his mom’s dismay. He worked at an adult toy and video store for a good year and a half, the seedy manager deliberately ignoring that he started work at only seventeen. During this time, Niklaus had met all sorts of people- but one stood out among the rest. A business man, who despite having a loving photo of him and his family in his wallet, took an interest in Niklaus. The blond merely thought they were friends, the man a fun conversationalist and someone Nik had started to look up to. But three days after Nik’s eighteenth birthday, the man asked to meet in a small park, tucked away and hidden by dense trees. It was there that he tried to kiss Nik, refusing to accept that Nik didn’t feel the same. But the moment their lips touched, the man’s life was sapped from his body. His corpse slumped to the ground, paper white and merely a husk. 
Hearing the news of a man found dead so close to Nik’s work, his mother’s pleading finally got to him. He quit his job and returned to school to get his GED. During this time, Nik tried to avoid any and all intimate contact- uncertain and traumatized by the man’s death. He was certain that sooner or later, the cops would be at his door for the murder, but they never came. Instead, other than that one news report, the well established business man and his family were never talked about again. Niklaus spent many restless nights thinking about the man’s death; Why it happened, how it happened. He knew that eventually he would need answers, and in the end, with his questions still gnawing at his brain, Niklaus had gone off in the middle of night to find someone to kiss. 
Nothing had come out of his kissing frenzy. No one had fallen over dead ( instead, Nik was sporting a good amount of welts across his cheek from every random bystander he decided to land a peck on ), and he finally settled the curiosity that tormented him. He chalked it off as a fluke; the man had a heart attack, maybe he took something before meeting him- anything to convince himself that he wasn’t directly responsible for his death. 
The night of his graduation, Nik and his grandfather went out to grab a couple items to celebrate. During their walk back from the small corner store, a group of men attempted to mug them at knifepoint. This wasn’t the first time Niklaus had a knife pressed against his throat, and he knew it wouldn’t be last. His mother’s reminder had him ready to hand over all he could, trained to submit at a young age. But when he had glanced over at his grandfather, scared and shaking and pleading for the group of men not to kill his grandson, something within Nik snapped. By some miracle, Nik was able to send the men flying with a single punch, fighting off the group without so much as a scratch; Until he was stabbed in the ribs. He remembers that brief second of pain until... Nothing. The wound faded instantly, and the only evidence was the rip in his shirt and the specks of blood surrounding it. 
Rushing his grandfather and himself home, neither of them spoke of the incident. Both far too shocked to even meet each other’s eyes. But for Niklaus, this served as confirmation. There was something abnormal about his body, and he wanted to learn more. His experimentation began with self inflicted wounds, healing not nearly as quick as the one he got on the night of the mugging, but still at a speed not normal for humans. The frequent tests he put his body through helped discover every power that once lay hidden. He thought he was invincible, and acted as such. His mother’s advice now forgotten, he finally did as he pleased: fought back against every injustice he happened upon. 
Though, he learned quickly that every action has consequences, regardless of good intentions. In his quest to use his newly found abilities for good, he had come home after a night of crimefighting to find the bodies of both his mother and grandfather. Shot and left bleeding. 
Immortality (Superhuman Healing)
Because of how quickly Niklaus can heal, he’s just on the cusp of reaching immortality. Every stab wound, broken bone, gunshot, anything that puts his life at risk is all healed at alarming speeds. This power has even began to slow down his aging process, something that will begin the moment he reaches his early thirties. The only exceptions to his fast regeneration is if his heart is torn out, head cut off, or if his body is damaged beyond repair ( i.e torn apart, set on fire, diced up, ect ). These can take months to years to heal depending on the severity of it. The only way to kill Nik is to destroy his entire body, not even one hair follicle can be left remaining. So Niklaus is close to reaching immortality, but isn’t quite there.
Enhanced Reflexes 
As it states- His reaction time to anything is doubled compared to an average person. While he’s still getting the hang of all the hero work and still gets a solid punch to the face now and then, Nik is quick to dodge any threat coming his way. However, it’s an ability Nik needs some getting used to. He has trouble slowing down and processing who’s who when his adrenaline is up. To his embarrassment, there’s been a few times he’s almost hit the victim in his rush to save them. 
Super Strength 
He can destroy buildings, lift semi-trucks, stop a train if he wanted- but his strength does have limits. If he were to be put at the very bottom of the ocean, there wouldn’t be much he could do besides crawl. His strength is one thing he’s very careful with, Nik understands that he’s able to kill a person with one small, wrong move, and therefore, keeps himself in check when it has to be used. Though, Niklaus does have a short temper, and when he’s agitated it’s hard for him to focus on reeling himself in. 
Life Absorption 
A power Nik knows he has, but rarely ever uses. When kissing someone, Nik has the ability to drain the life from them and use their stolen energy to make himself stronger, or if it’s another being with powers, Nik can absorb a very small portion of that power and use it. To his relief, this ability can be controlled, so he’s not killing someone every time he lands a kiss. But he does have to be careful. He’s had barely any practice to get used to the ability, so if he lets his guard down, it could mean the accidental end for his partner. 
Hover (Levitation)
No matter how much he wishes he could fly, he can’t. But he does have the capability to levitate, and while he can’t go super high up, it’s definitely been the most useful when he’s fallen out of buildings or needs to get up a flight of stairs quicker. 
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jemelle · 5 years ago
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these are ties that bind (2/8)
you can also find this story on ao3!
fandom: criminal minds
rating: t
(chapter) word count: 2,409
masterlist
summary: emily and hotch must pretend to be in a long-term relationship in order to foster carrie. shenanigans and serious conversations alike ensue.
two.
Hotch and the rest of the team flew back to DC the next day. Emily stayed back, claiming a “family emergency.” It wasn’t totally a lie.
That afternoon, she and Carrie went back to the house. Emily had offered to go alone and gather Carrie’s belongings, but Carrie insisted on seeing the house one last time. When they arrived, Carrie took her shoes off and stowed them in the closet, but Emily kept hers on, uncomfortable. The cracked family portraits were still on display in the living room, and Emily hurried Carrie past the blood-stained room. Carrie’s bedroom was eerily clean, all evidence of destruction tidied away. They worked in silence as they packed up her minimal belongings. 
Occasionally, Emily would ask Carrie if she wanted a particular item, and she would respond. Apart from her clothes, most of the objects that had once belonged to Carrie’s family had become crucial evidence for the prosecution. At one point, out of the corner of her eye, Emily noticed Carrie slip a small stuffed jaguar in her suitcase, covering it immediately with a t-shirt. She didn’t comment.
When they finished with Carrie’s bedroom, Emily asked if there was anything else she wanted.
“Just one thing,” Carrie responded, disappearing into what had been her parents’ bedroom.
Emily stood alone in the living room, wondering how Carrie could possibly be so composed. There was no love lost between Emily and her parents, but even she would never want to return to the site of her almost-murder. It seemed likely Carrie was putting on a brave face, which an uncannily Reid-like voice warned her could be indicative of an unhealthy reaction to grief. Emily made a mental note to schedule an appointment with a therapist who specialized in teens and bereavement.
Carrie emerged from the room, carrying a large book in two hands. It was a scrapbook, Emily realized, probably full of family photos, but Carrie stowed it in her suitcase before Emily could ask any questions. 
They exited the house. Before they entered the car Emily had rented, Carrie turned around and looked at the house.
“It’s the only place I’ve ever lived,” she said, her voice wistful. Emily wasn’t sure what to say. In this respect, she and Carrie diverged. As a child, Emily had been constantly traveling, never staying in any place long enough to put down roots. She settled for a simple acknowledgment. 
“It must be hard to leave.” Carrie nodded, chin wobbling ever so slightly. As they drove away from the house, she kept her face pressed to the window, long after the house was out of sight.
~
That evening, Emily called Hotch. Carrie was in the shower, and Emily was sitting in bed, enjoying the feel of the expensive cotton sheets against her legs. Hotch picked up on the first ring.
“Prentiss?” Emily drew unexpected comfort from his voice. At the house, she had felt out of her depth, self-conscious about acting sufficiently parental at every turn. Hearing Hotch reminded her that she wasn’t completely alone.
“We need somewhere to live.” The realization that her one-bedroom apartment would not be suitable had come only today. It was nice enough, located in a convenient neighborhood, but not large enough for two adults and two kids, even if one of the kids was only there part-time.
Hotch cleared his throat. “Haley got the house. I’m currently living in an apartment, as I imagine you are.”
Emily nodded, before remembering that he couldn’t see her. “Yes, so that rules out both of our current places.” As she spoke, Emily had a sinking feeling about what needed to be done. “Actually, I do know somewhere we could stay.”
Although she was loath to admit it, Emily did technically own a home. Her mother had given her the deed as a birthday present, the least subtle signal yet that she was supposed to settle down. At that point, Emily wasn’t even living in the area, but Elizabeth had insisted that Emily would find herself there one day. 
It was a picturesque house, two stories with a nauseatingly cliche white picket fence. There was a large front yard, if she remembered correctly, and a small garden in the back. It was even somewhat close to FBI headquarters, although she would have to remember to figure out where the nearest school was. In short, it was the perfect house for a husband and wife to raise two children in, a goal Emily would have scoffed at even just a week ago. Although she had resisted all attempts made for her to actually see the house, the keys still hung on a hook in her kitchen, taunting her.
“I own a house near Quantico,” she told him. “It’s big enough for all of us, but you’ll have to get it set up.” The photos of the house indicated that while the kitchen, living room, and dining room were fully furnished, Elizabeth Prentiss at least trusted her daughter to decorate a bedroom. Emily could bring her things for the master bedroom, but Hotch would need to furnish rooms for Jack and Carrie. 
At that, it registered with Emily that she and Hotch had another problem: what were they going to do about money? Pooling their finances would prove awkward when it came to their eventual divorce, but she wasn’t comfortable asking Hotch to pay for things when they both had a steady source of income. Emily filed that under problems to worry about later.
“Did you hear me?” Startled, Emily registered that she hadn’t been paying attention to what Hotch had been saying.
“No, sorry, I was lost in my thoughts,” she apologized.
“I said I could take some time off tomorrow to set it up and asked how I could get into the house.” Although Hotch was normally irritated when his team members failed to pay attention, his voice was calm, and Emily wondered whether Hotch was panicking as much as she was. Although he was already raising a child, this situation had been sprung on him with no notice.
“Oh, the keys are in my apartment. JJ has a spare key.” Emily had given them to her after a particularly bad case, a tacit agreement that JJ could check up on her at any time. “Tell her I’m lending you a book. Or I can call her if you’d like.”
“I’m sure I can manage. I did, however, have to shoot down speculation about what you were doing in Chicago,” Hotch warned, although he still didn’t sound particularly worried. “Morgan was guessing it was a poorly disguised affair before Reid reminded him that it couldn’t technically be an affair because you aren’t married.”
Emily smiled. She could always count on Morgan and Reid to bring levity to any situation. The sound of running water in the bathroom ceased, and Emily bid Hotch goodnight as Carrie exited the bathroom.
“Who was that on the phone?” Carrie asked later, when they were both in bed. Emily looked up from her book.
“That was… my partner.” One thing she and Hotch had agreed on: they couldn’t lie to Carrie. Neither one of them wanted her to make a decision to stay with them based on false information. And yet Emily couldn’t find it in herself to tell the truth. It sounded almost pathetic out loud; my life is so lonely that to foster a child I pretended to be in a relationship with my recently divorced boss. At least “partner” gave her plausible deniability towards what kind of relationship they had.
She half-expected Carrie to push for more information, but Carrie simply turned off her light, seemingly satisfied with the answer. Emily folded down the corner of her book to mark her place, turned off the other light, and joined Carrie in restless slumber.
~
On the plane ride to DC, Carrie took a nap on Emily’s shoulder. As Carrie slept, Emily reflected on the funeral the day before. She had expected a quiet affair, given that Carrie seemingly had little family, but friends and neighbors alike had turned out en masse to offer their condolences. The coffins of Carrie’s parents had been closed, makeup unable to hide their extensive wounds, but Danny’s child-sized one had been open.
Carrie had held Emily’s hand as they looked at him, his expression peaceful. Although Emily had seen many dead bodies, she found herself fighting the urge to cry, promising herself that she would stay strong for Carrie.
During the service, Emily sat quietly in the back. She hadn’t been in a church for many years, and as Carrie stepped up to the lectern to speak about her family, Emily couldn’t help feeling that she had come full circle. When she told the church she did not desire a child, they cast her out, and here she was, more than fifteen years later, bringing a child into her life. If she had been less cynical, Emily might have even termed it a rebirth, but as it was she simply slipped out of the service early to weep quietly on the steps of the church.
~
It was evening when they finally landed in DC, and though her stomach grumbled, Emily resisted the urge to pick up burgers at the airport. She was nowhere near as bad as Spencer when it came to eating habits, but she still knew she’d have to eat healthier with Carrie around.
Emily hailed them a taxi, having left her car at the FBI building with the assumption that she would return with the rest of the team. She gave the address to the driver and pulled out her phone to inform Hotch that they were on their way. He had called her quickly yesterday to inform her that he had set up the bedrooms and was in the process of moving items from his apartment to the house, but she wasn’t sure where he was currently staying.
“Your partner?” asked Carrie as she finished her call. From her tone, Emily thought the girl might be teasing her, but she couldn’t quite tell. She decided to opt for sincerity with her response.
“Yes. He and his son will be at the house when we get there.” On the call, Hotch had informed her that Jack would be staying the weekend. Carrie looked interested at the mention of another child.
“How old is his son?” Emily wasn’t actually sure, although she thought Jack had had a birthday recently. She and Hotch really should have learned information about each other, à la Parent Trap.
“Two?” she guessed. She hadn’t been on the team when Jack was born, but she knew it was only months before Hotch and Haley split up.
For the rest of the ride, they talked about starting a new school and the classes Carrie had previously taken. She was a smart girl, and Emily hoped that she would be able to remain motivated despite the circumstances. 
As they pulled up to the house, Emily hid a grimace. This was suburbia all right. Their house looked exactly like every other house on the street, the only difference being that Emily’s landscaping was not as well-tended, her grass not perfectly clipped. After paying the driver, Emily helped Carrie take their suitcases out of the trunk and carry them into the house. 
When she opened the door, Emily was immediately struck by how homey the house already felt. The lighting was softer than the overexposed promotional pictures had shown and Hotch and Jack had both left their shoes and jackets in the entryway. Most enticingly, though, Emily could smell food.
As Emily and Carrie stepped over the threshold, Hotch rounded the corner, having clearly heard the door open. He was wearing an apron in a charmingly domestic gesture that indicated he was the likely source of the delicious aroma. When he saw Carrie, he smiled, wiped his hands on the apron and extended a hand.
“Aaron Hotchner. It’s good to see you again.” The introduction was slightly stilted, but Emily knew Hotch communicated his feelings better with actions than words. From making sure Reid had enough coffee on cases, to asking JJ about Henry when they were on a tough case, to, well, agreeing to do this with her, Hotch’s caring side was on display much more than people often thought.
Carrie thanked Hotch for his generosity, which he assured her was no object at all. “Emily has told me great things about you.” He then turned his gaze to Emily, who was still standing in the doorway.
This was the point in the heterosexual fantasy where an actual wife would kiss her husband, but there was no way in hell Emily was doing that. Instead, she settled for pulling Hotch into a genuine hug. Although she expected no less from him, seeing Hotch act so kindly towards Carrie had warmed her heart. He seemed momentarily surprised at her actions but relaxed quickly. 
She released him from the hug just as Jack ran into the room, nearly colliding with Hotch. “Where you go?” Jack asked, then turned to look at Emily and Carrie.
“I’m right here, Jack,” said Hotch, reaching down to ruffle Jack’s hair. “Do you want to say hello to these people?”
Jack hid shyly behind Hotch but waved nonetheless, his little hand popping out from behind Hotch’s legs. Beside her, Carrie beamed in response and Emily realized that this was the first time she’d really seen Carrie’s smile, not counting her obligatory one as she greeted guests at the funeral.
Emily watched as Carrie knelt down to Jack’s level. “I’m Carrie,” she said, as Jack emerged from behind Hotch. “You’re Jack, right? How old are you?” He held up two fingers. 
“That’s cool. I’m a little older than you but I bet we’ll get along great.” Emily had noticed that after giving her report of what had happened, Carrie had barely mentioned Danny to anyone. She wondered what the siblings’ relationship had been like. Another note for the therapist, she supposed.
“Come see toys?” Jack asked. Carrie turned around to look at Emily, silently asking permission to leave the room, which Emily granted with a wave of her hand. As the two disappeared around the corner, Jack’s laugh carrying down the hallway, Emily caught Hotch’s eye. He was smiling too, and Emily suspected he was thinking the same thing she was.
This might just work.
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cabiba · 4 years ago
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Our Conjugal Class Divide
Marriage has evolved to meet the ideals of the well-educated and left too many Americans unwed and insecure.
Kay Hymowitz | Feb 10, 2021
“Is marriage obsolete?” may have become a hackneyed headline in recent years, but it’s an understandable question. Marriage rates have plunged to an all-time low. Americans are more likely to rate an enjoyable career as essential to a fulfilling life than marriage. Still, the query also signals a widespread misunderstanding about the reality of family life in the United States. Marriage remains a defining landmark in the lives of more well-to-do, college-educated Americans. But it is well on the path to obsolescence only among the less educated poor and working class. Marriage is, in other words, another dimension of the nation’s inequality, one that both explains and perpetuates America’s divisions.
The most well-trod explanation for the marriage gap, and an indisputably correct one, is that trade shocks and automation have devoured the stable, breadwinner jobs that sustained marriages in the past. Joe Lunchbox and his mates clocked in every morning at a local auto parts factory, played on their weekend baseball team, and retired with a comfortable pension. Now their sons spend their working hours at an Amazon warehouse where low pay, an empty savings account, and rumors of imminent automation darken their mood. Whereas their fathers found meaning in supporting their wives and children, their younger sisters and girlfriends now work alongside them earning paychecks that are nearing parity to their own. That would be unambiguously exciting news if it weren’t for the fact that working women who can manage on their own continue to want men who can be financial providers and preferably ones who earn more than they do.
Nevertheless, the precarity of the postindustrial working-class labor market is far from the whole story of the country’s toxic marriage gap. Just as important are the radical changes in our understanding of the age-old institution of marriage, changes that have played to the strengths and aspirations of the well-educated while leaving most Americans stumbling along dead-end paths.
To understand how we got to this point of polarization, it’s best to appreciate why marriage became a universal institution. Early in human history, it became apparent that children were more likely to survive when a mother and father had some kind of quasi-stable union. It was also clear that male competition for mates was a predictable source of conflict within groups. It was in the general interest to have norms that encourage predictable unions. Since the hunter-gatherers, that’s what human groups have done. Marriage customs have varied enormously, of course: polygamy or monogamy, child marriage or adult, arranged or chosen, dowries or bridewealth, and so on. The rules could be harsh. Most societies treated children born outside of socially recognized unions as “illegitimate,” fatherless outsiders with no claim on their paternal name or property. The point was not to “control women’s sexuality” as we sometimes hear, but to insist on the bond between marriage and childbearing by heavily stigmatizing those who strayed from it.
Marriage is, in other words, another dimension of the nation’s inequality, one that both explains and perpetuates America’s divisions.
The decoupling of marriage and childbearing that began in the 1960s in the United States and Western Europe, what scholars refer to as the “de-institutionalization of marriage,” represented a radical break with the human past. In 1960, a negligible 5% of American children were born to unmarried mothers, a disproportionate number of them to African Americans. The number for the general population doubled within a decade and continued to climb until plateauing at the beginning of the new century at around 40%. Divorce rates skyrocketed in the mid 1960s and 70s. “Shotgun” marriages started gathering dust in Western culture’s curio cabinet along with bundling boards. Educated feminists and campus radicals were the first to openly rebel against the old matrimonial order. Middle-class boomers were not far behind. By the 1980s, the working class was on board. Inevitably, the number of children living with only one parent mushroomed.
Still marriage didn’t become obsolete. It was re-engineered as a vehicle for the self-expression and lifestyle of individuals rather than the perpetuation and order of societies. More married couples stayed “childfree;” those that didn’t, were more likely to limit their number of offspring. The “only child” family became commonplace. All in all, the number of births to married couples fell by half between 1960 and 1996. As children became less central to the meaning of marriage, couples developed higher expectations for their own relationships. Now a spouse was supposed to be a soulmate, a Platonic missing half, equal and simpatico in every way. Most cultures have rules about the circumstances in which a union may be dissolved; soulmates decide entirely for themselves. When Ronald Reagan signed the nation’s first no-fault divorce into law as governor of California in 1969, he didn’t simply make it easier for couples to split up. He made ending a marriage the purely personal decision of two individuals—or at least one of them—whose emotional connection had frayed.
Now, the soulmate revolution had obvious advantages. The relaxing of traditional rules made it easier for a woman to leave a violent husband or for a husband to leave an adulterous wife, and for both to relax rigid gender roles. Empowered by the pill and legal abortion, unmarried couples could enjoy sexual relations fearing neither shame, judgment, nor an unwanted child. If a child was born to unmarried parents, he was no longer branded filius nullius (son of nobody) and had the same social and legal privileges as the son or daughter of a married father. Same-sex couples eventually entered officially recognized unions. It’s a reasonable guess that the revolution furthered individual agency and, for many people, a sense of control over their lives; some social scientists believe that these correlate with human happiness. True or not, it’s hard to imagine Americans ever going back.
But these gains didn’t prevent the law of unintended consequences that haunts every revolution from leaving its mark. No one anticipated that either freedom from seemingly outdated mating norms or the soulmate ideal would deepen economic and social inequality, but perhaps they should have. Humans being the communal meaning-makers that they are, it was inevitable that Americans would create norms to replace what they had jettisoned, and equally inevitable that those norms would be designed by the more advantaged members of society. Just as elites had been the trendsetters for the de-institutionalization of marriage, they were the ones to coalesce around the new order.
As children became less central to the meaning of marriage, couples developed higher expectations for their own relationships.
That new order did not entirely thrown out tradition, but it tweaked it in ways ill-suited to less educated Americans. It asked both men and women to put off marriage and children until they had completed their education and headed down career paths; these days that means staying single until one’s late twenties or thirties. During the single years, people date and party—though the ultimate goal is to find a “serious” relationship. They cohabit for a year or two, followed by an engagement, a lavish wedding and then, only then, start a family (assuming they want to). Instead of marriage being a transition into adulthood defined in large measure by childbearing, it is now a personal “capstone,” to repeat sociologist Andrew Cherlin’s useful term. Extravagant weddings complete with catered dinners, flowers, photographers, videographers, champagne, and limousines are the objective correlative of the couple’s capstone economic and soulmate success. The wedding planning website “The Knot” reports that between the engagement ring (a compulsory purchase by the soon-to-be groom) and the event itself, the average wedding costs just shy of $34,000.
Clearly the capstone model of marriage, with its posh wedding and late childbearing, is a poor fit for lower-income couples. For one thing, they don’t spend their twenties going to graduate school or trudging their way up the first steps of the career ladder. Nor do they see why marriage has anything to do with the timing of motherhood. The capstone ideal has taught them that getting married is about making it, being financially set, and they’re far from that goal. A number of the unmarried mothers interviewed by Kathy Edin and Maria Kefalas in Promises I Can Keep: Why Poor Women Put Motherhood Before Marriage announced that they expected to own a home and a car and to have saved enough money for a “big” wedding with all “the works” before considering marriage.
Because marriage is not in the picture and they are not searching for “the one,” the romantic lives of these couples are more aimless. Cohabitation Nation, the most extensive study of the class divide in cohabitation, finds that unlike more advantaged women who date a year or more before living together, less educated women move in with their partners only a few months after meeting them. Sometimes moving in together is a solution to one of them facing reduced hours or a rent hike. Other times, it’s just that they are having a good time together and why not? Pregnancy often follows; lower-income women tend to use birth control more erratically than their more educated sisters. They tend to describe pregnancy as “something that just happened,” unplanned in public health terms, though not necessarily unwanted. “Wait till you’re thirty or forty to have children?” one woman asks Edin and Kefalas. “I don’t think so!”
The educated middle class has emerged from the 1960s family revolution with a cultural script that keeps marriage and childbearing linked, thereby giving their children a better shot at a stable two-parent home. Working-class men and women, on the other hand, have landed up fully embracing unmarried motherhood. Of course, many mothers and fathers are living together when their babies are born, but cohabiting unions break up at far higher rates. Working-class women don’t appear to have deep concerns about their sons and daughters growing up without their fathers in the house. In fact, they look down on women who marry because they’re expecting a baby as taking a sure path to divorce. “The harshest condemnation is reserved for those who marry because of pregnancy,” Edin and Kefalas write. Divorce rates remain higher among lower-income than higher-income couples, but overall rates have declined markedly since 1980. Strikingly, while nonmarital childbearing has become far more acceptable to younger generations, divorce has become less so.
Less educated couples face additional headwinds because of the de-institutionalization of marriage. Older marriage customs and traditions may have been patriarchal and confining, but their requirements were easily grasped by everyone from a chemistry professor to a janitor. Rather than following a gendered script written sometime in an oppressive benighted past, soulmate couples draft their own roles: who should work outside the home and how much, whether to have a joint bank account or keep their earnings separate, whether to take his name, hers, or hyphenate, as well as how to distribute the never-ending tasks of domestic life.
Humans being the communal meaning-makers that they are, it was inevitable that Americans would create norms to replace what they had jettisoned, and equally inevitable that those norms would be designed by the more advantaged members of society.
Most highly educated young men and women have had the advantage of growing up in homes that prepare them for these negotiations. As Annette Lareau showed in her landmark Unequal Childhoods, a comparative study of middle-class and low-income parents, middle-class kids spend their childhood years in highly organized environments. Weeks are plotted ahead on large calendars or kitchen blackboards so everyone in the family can keep track of the soccer games, dance lessons, doctor’s appointments, and family vacations. Lower-income parents don’t see much point in these activities, according to Lareau. They subscribe to a philosophy of “natural growth” where children need little teaching and molding. Moreover, while affluent parents view their children as “conversation partners” who can discuss and opine, lower-income parents are more pragmatic, direct, often giving one-word answers. Middle-class kids argue and explain themselves. If told they can’t play video games for two days after getting in trouble with a teacher, they bargain for one day, and promise to never ever do it again. By contrast, when lower-income children are scolded, “the adult talks; the child listens.” Working-class parents are not as strict as they once were, but it’s still possible that if you question authority, you’ll feel a hard slap across the bottom.
The habits of planning ahead and of “using your words” learned in a middle-class home are power tools in a world where gender relations are largely unscripted. Educated couples are more likely to discuss the timetable for getting serious, living together, getting engaged, and getting married. They “plan, deliberate, mull over and organize their resources, their children and their daily lives,” writes Jessi Streib in The Power of the Past, a study of mixed-class marriages. As we saw, while working-class men and women tend to cohabitate early, with little consideration for what happens next or where their relationship is going, middle-class couples wait a year or more before living together and have a clearer understanding of what their partner expects.
It would be a mistake to ignore the ways economics reinforces these cultural differences. One reason lower-income couples are more laissez-faire may be that their work lives and those of the people around them are more unpredictable. Schedules change, layoffs disrupt planned budgets, overtime possibilities wax and wane, older cars break down, etc. Money anxieties add to stress and conflict. Brad Wilcox and Wendy Wang speculate that because working-class and poor Americans are less likely to own a home or share other assets, there are fewer reasons to avoid a breakup.
But it’s worth remembering that once cash-strapped couples married despite the unpredictable hardships to come. No one thought of a diamond wedding ring as an entrance fee to the institution. Most people assumed that two people together could better withstand the hard knocks life would bring—whether closed factories, injuries, or droughts. That kind of thinking seems to have melted into the thin air of the soulmate revolution.
So here we are in unforeseen territory. The women who can least afford to raise a child are the most likely to be single mothers, and the children who stand to benefit the most from stable homes and reliable fathers are the least likely to have them.
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seekingxanadu · 5 years ago
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“Dick is the one and only member of the Batfamily who just….doesn’t get to have a parent figure after he loses his parents at age eight? He never needs or wants one after that point? Bruce is more kinda just his brother and partner and Dick wants it this way, because he loved his parents, and so the eight years he got with them was all the parental love and guidance he needed, he was all set, no need or desire for any more after that point, because that’s how it works, apparently, if you love your parents and they die while you’re still a kid, sorry but you can’t have new ones?" 
THIS. 
Cass, Jason, and Tim need Bruce to be their daddy, and Damian is the “blood son“; but the kid that a (25-27 year old) Bruce raised from 8 to 16 years cannot think of Bruce as his father? What is different here? Dick is not from Gotham? Neither is Cass or Damian. What else is different? Dick doesn’t have illustrious parents. Is that it? Dick’s parents aren’t well-known assassins or heirs to ancient wealth, but working class folks who pursued excellence and perfection while staying loyal to the circus. Dick’s parents lived a hardworking lifestyle with no guarantee of consistent income or food. But in the 8 years they had with him, John and Mary Grayson managed to teach Dick the pursuit of that excellence, the capacity to love and forgive, to trust his own abilities. (Talk about impressive parenting!) 
It just looks like fandom likes to punishing Dick for having loving and caring parents. His loss hardly ever registers to many. Even in fics, authors can’t wait for the event to be over so they can introduce Bruce- the Graysons are reduced to plot points. And even then, Dick is hardly shown mourning his parents deaths while making the adult nearby frame everything in the world to his own loss.
Small response ask to that anon who brought up Chris Priest and your response of DC should focus less on Bruce being abusive to his kids. Not sure if you noticed the up and down of the Batman comics but it seems the arc that have him being a caring dad has less asshole dad and abusive dad in them and yet the arc that have Bruce hitting the boys or kicking them out of the house has Bruce not acknowledging the boys as his sons and even the writers say Dick is more of a brother of partner than son.
Oh for sure, its absolutely true that a huge part of the problem with the Batman comics is the sheer inconsistency in writer visions of the characters - which is why IMO its up to DC’s editorial staff to maintain internal consistency for how the characters officially relate to each other at the very least. 
Like I’ve said before, you can’t roll back the clock on them being his kids once you’ve established they’re his kids. People haven’t forgotten that Tim was adopted by Bruce in the old continuity just because they decided to have his parents alive in the New 52 - and ‘teenage kinda sorta ally’ is an inherently weaker emotional tether compared to ‘actual adopted son’ so when presented with two options, most people aren’t going to give a shit about their attempt to ‘unbond’ a character from their actual parent and will stick with viewing them as father and son, whether DC likes it or not.
So its just plain foolishness IMO for DC to attempt to apply any sort of ambiguity to Bruce and his kids. Along with his biological son Damian, Dick, Jason, Tim and Cass at least have all been officially adopted by Bruce (or in Cass’ case, they were stated to be starting adoption proceedings last we saw before the Reboot). Like....those are just hard facts, no matter how much people try and ‘undo’ that if they don’t personally like the idea of Bruce as a father of five....fans are not going to cooperate and its just sheer stubbornness to pretend otherwise. People before the current writers and editors made a creative choice to have Bruce adopt these kids. Readers liked it. Readers know what they like and once given the option of having Bruce the father of five, you can protest all you want as the ‘official’ overseers of Batman, but you can’t erase what was already written, and you can’t ask readers to forget they liked something better than how you’re currently trying to push it.
But that’s just me being like hey DC what if you weren’t a flock of fucking dumbasses, just to try something different for a change.
And related to your ask, there’s absolutely a direct correlation in my mind between the DC writers who intensely dislike the idea of Bruce as a father and writing him as being callous, insensitive, aloof and outright abusive with various of his kids. Because it all goes hand in hand with them - they dislike the idea of Bruce as a dad because they’re all about him being the brooding lone wolf whose entire life is just an endless pursuit of justice for the sake of others because he’s convinced himself that he can never be happy and shouldn’t try. YAWN. But this view of Bruce is outright threatened by the warm, caring father Bruce rendition, so they try and erode the latter as much as possible in pursuit of the former....
Only to later have writers revert to the latter and erode the former.
And around and around and around we go. And they all keep trying to reset things that fundamentally CAN NOT BE RESET because this is the problem when you staff a creative industry top to bottom with fanboys who can’t and won’t separate their personal desires from their professional shepherding of these IPs. And so each new crop of writers tries to write Batman and related characters the way they like them, most often the way they remembered reading them as kids through the lens filter of nostalgia, and thus Bruce’s kids’ status flip flops either officially or unofficially every five to ten years, Hal Jordan is replaced by Kyle Rayner is replaced by Hal Jordan and a wave of new diverse characters are created in the span of a couple years and ten years later no one’s heard of any of them except for Jaime Reyes.
And its the reason IMO that superhero comics have never grown beyond a niche industry despite the VAST appeal of superheroes that superhero movies have proven still exists....and its why superhero movies will end up in the exact same stagnated niche if they don’t learn from the former’s mistake and let their characters grow and age and be replaced by new ones rather than just rebooted versions of the old one, because there’s only so many times you can go round and round on the merry go round before people just flat out stop caring because you’re not doing or saying anything new.
Change is good, except for when people refuse to let it happen because they’ve settled for what they know as being the optimal plateau, never to truly be reached past because the unknown and untested is scary and might bite.
Anyway. All of that is to say yes, I agree, and as a PS I just have to froth at the mouth a little on a personal note because god do I hate the interpretation that Bruce and Dick are more like brothers than father and son, lololol, and can’t refrain from mentioning that any time its brought up even in passing. 
(This is totally not directed at you btw, just the concept itself, lololol, sorry). 
People can talk about the smaller age gap between them all they want, but the fact of the matter is, Dick isn’t Damian, and the relationship between Dick and Bruce has NEVER been nearly as ambiguous or as open to interpretation as the one between Dick and Damian.
Because the contrast between the two is Bruce had something that nobody who is just an older sibling has over a younger....absolute uncontested parental authority, total responsibility for his education, living arrangements, emotional development, etc....with no other comparable figure in the younger’s life occupying a same or even similar role. Dick occupied that role for Damian for about a year of his life, but Bruce has occupied that role for Dick every single year since his first parents died. It might have taken awhile for them to individually and together VIEW their dynamic as parent and child, but from the moment Dick stepped foot into Wayne Manor, Bruce started out day one as someone who stepped into the role of sole guardian and caretaker with no prior emotional attachment.....and that just is NOT a sibling. That’s a legal guardian or parent.
(And yes, Alfred was there of course, but despite being viewed as a father figure to Bruce himself, Alfred never ever ever once has been shown to occupy an equal position to Bruce in Dick’s life....he’s very firmly slotted into the grandfather role himself, and has never stepped forward to definitively intercede between the two of them or usurp or even truly challenge Bruce’s parental authority of Dick).
If people want to say that at times Dick and Bruce’s dynamic has been more relaxed and they’ve related to each other as more like siblings than parent and child due to the relatively small age gap between them (still well over a decade, like yeah Bruce would have had to have been fourteen or so to have Dick himself, but the point is he DIDN’T, and he was already completely done with education and globe-trotting and was firmly established in his life and life’s purpose by the time he became Dick’s guardian, so the small age gap is not quite as influential as I think some people try to make it out to be - the reality is the Bruce that Dick met as a child couldn’t be any more decisively in the ‘adult/equivalent of a parent’ category in Dick’s eyes if he were five years older....it wouldn’t have changed a single thing about their actual situation or the positioning of their dynamic.)
But anyway, my point just being that yeah, due to the relatively small age gap between them, I can see people making a case for them at times enjoying a more relaxed camaraderie more akin to brothers than father and son, but the part that’s a pet peeve is when people try and outright replace the idea of them having a father/son dynamic with one where they’re brothers and partners and equals because.....no. Bruce always had full authority and guardianship of Dick from the day he met him, and he’s never been anyone BUT the figure who occupies that role in Dick’s mind, no matter whether the name for that changed over time. And that’s not a sibling, because even siblings who end up raising their younger siblings after the death of their parents, say....except for extreme cases like Dick and Damian, they usually still already have prior connection and perceptions of each other....like the younger, if already Dick’s age when raised by someone Bruce’s age....like, if they were siblings and Bruce ended up raising Dick himself, Dick would still have an image in his mind of a time before their mutual parents died, before he shifted into that parent role....and thus there’d be some ambiguity. 
But like I said, Bruce always (and without exception or alternative) from day one existed as the one responsible for Dick’s care, the one responsible for raising him, the one who got the ultimate say in every aspect of his life from education to what he ate to whether he could go hang out with his friends...and call that whatever you want, but that’s a parent. Not an older brother.
And more importantly, that dynamic between parent and child, rather than between older and younger sibling, is never going to fully shift into true equals. There’s a degree to which our parents will always be our parents and exist on a different footing than us in our mutual perspectives. There’s no getting around that. And Dick will never ever be positioned to be Bruce’s brother-figure rather than his son. Never someone who can challenge Bruce on ACTUAL equal footing rather than always with the vestiges of ‘this is the man who raised me’ and ‘I raised this man’ hanging over them. 
Anyway, like I said, pet peeve, and I always get a little grrr about people suggesting they’re more brother and brother than father and son because its disingenuous in my mind....there’s never been any kind of reality to it. And more importantly, its one of those things that only really seems to serve one purpose - and that’s to lessen Bruce’s responsibility to Dick, because if they’re just brothers, then the times when Bruce has done less than stellar as his parent, let’s say - like, those aren’t as big a deal or big a failing or an injustice to Dick if Bruce is JUST his brother and not actually his father and thus not actually responsible for filling that role.
Its the exact flip side of why I argue that its shitty to heap the kind of expectations on Dick that fandom usually does....because he’s NOT Damian’s father or any of his siblings.....but the key point I always bring up there is that this is more than just a matter of labels, but rather due to the fact that someone with significantly more and undeniable parental authority than Dick exists for all of his siblings....Bruce himself.
And that’s why Dick will never truly be Bruce’s equal within the family rather than his son - he doesn’t carry equivalent power even if equivalent expectations or responsibilities are heaped on him. And that’s why Bruce will never truly be Dick’s equal rather than his parent - because from day one, he DID carry sole parental power and responsibility for Dick. And there’s no getting around that and no changing that.....unless you CLAIM that Bruce is ‘just’ Dick’s brother DESPITE all the evidence of him being the only parent Dick’s had since he was eight years old.
And the other thing that bugs about the Bruce is more Dick’s brother than parent thing....even if Alfred has never officially been designated Bruce’s father, there’s never been any doubt that they are far more a parent/child dynamic than an older brother/younger brother. And all of Dick’s siblings have unequivocally been interpreted as Bruce’s children.
So.....
According to the Bruce is more Dick’s brother than parent argument, Dick is the one and only member of the Batfamily who just....doesn’t get to have a parent figure after he loses his parents at age eight? He never needs or wants one after that point? Bruce is more kinda just his brother and partner and Dick wants it this way, because he loved his parents, and so the eight years he got with them was all the parental love and guidance he needed, he was all set, no need or desire for any more after that point, because that’s how it works, apparently, if you love your parents and they die while you’re still a kid, sorry but you can’t have new ones? You can have a guardian but not another parent, you already filled the ‘I had parents who loved me’ quota so whether you only got eight years with them or eighteen, that’s all folks, but its okay because its not like you’d even want parents again if you had even just eight years with ones already?
LOLOL.
Yeah. 
DISLIKE.
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paladin-of-nerd-fandom65 · 7 years ago
Text
Confrontation
A follow up to both “Revelations and Truths” and “A Little Bit ‘Bout Me: The Benito Zucco Diary”. All credit for helping me keeping moving forward with these stories goes to @lightdusk, @fireflyxrebel, @nightglider124, @tarisilmarwen and many others. Constructive criticism is welcome 
Have a nice read :-)  
Cigar smoke rose into the ceiling as the fan blew at its medium speed; providing some coolness in the daytime heat but really it was doing was keeping said smoke in limbo, giving the room a nasty smell of burnt tobacco. This sort of smell however didn’t bother the young man who was puffing away in the slightest as he stared outside the window the city streets outside. The streets were bustling with many people of colors and what warmed the man’s heart perhaps the most was the sight of a young father showing his son the sights while the little boy asked so many questions to him as they usually do. It was sights like this one that provided Benito Pugliese Zucco, the man looking out the window not only his primary motivator for the election campaign but also the foundation for why his life deep down had ‘misery issues’.
Basically put, his father Anthony ‘Boss’ Zucco had done the same sort of bonding with him when he was alive but since he was criminal guilty of orchestrating an ‘accident’ to a circus act resulting in their demises all due to a protection racket gone wrong, he was sent to the electric chair when his son Benito was at the fragile age of 12 years old.
Ten years after that sort of trauma, the young Zucco now had the wealth and the political drive to run for the position of Mayor in this city. The ideology of his choice was commonly referred to by more liberal media outlets as ‘Fascist in nature’, a claim he doesn’t actually dissuade given that he was raised as such from his father due to ties with Fascist Italy in his family’s past and so far it’s has actually won him a very good winning chance of the election due to the main bulk of the Jump City agreeing with his statements that promise greater job quality, stronger crime security, renovating old homes into much cheaper places for lower income people to move into; in a lot of ways, Zucco’s policies he hopes to achieve seem like the sort of goals not one single dang candidate focuses in this city given all the controversies surrounding the public sector regarding race, gender and other ‘SJW’ topics that get in the way of what really needs to be done. Zucco, on the other hand, wins over the city’s populace due not only focus but the large amount of personal honesty that comes into his interviews and politeness to rival candidates from all sides, especially in light of nasty arguments that erupt each time there’s an election around the corner. Ok, ok, the politics and promises he knows he can keep are all well off and planned but for Zucco, they honestly are more of a secondary goal compared to what he’s after: discredit and ultimate illegalization of Meta-human vigilantes, in particular the Teen Titans.
This is where the Fascist allegation comes in since in the proud majority of his speeches he’s performed since his debut, Zucco often talks toward some of the more negative aspects the Teen Titans have done throughout their soon-to-be five year stewardship of the city’s protectors not limited to the amount of collateral damage ranging from city blocks needing their roads repaired or even one or two incident involving an entire skyscraper’s windows being shattered, of course not accounting for the amounts of civilians hopelessly caught in the middle of terrorist attacks from the likes of the HIVE Five and the Titans’ retaliations often ending with some innocent s hospitalized. The young boy and his father outside of his Party HQ’s window could be potential victims of the Titans’ battles if said team did not practice the ever so valuable caution they don’t exhibit all too well. In his mind, the Titans’ might never practice any sort of caution given of their status outside the law and by now being on the brink of collage, therefore not giving them any sort of discipline from adult authority from parents. Often when trying to defend civilian families in his speeches against the Titans’ lawless measures against crime, Zucco faces criticism from Pro Titan folks from all sectors of Jump city Society in which makes him weary for not exactly what he said, but rather what he can accidently say. That accident slips being his semi-reasonable dislike towards the Titans’ leader, Robin the Boy Wonder.
“Just what do you think you’re doing, Mr. Candidate?” speak of the devil.
As Zucco turns around, he sees both Robin and his Tamaranean ally and romantic partner Koriand’r (translated in English as ‘Starfire’ from what he hears)  just entering his door and giving him a questionable look that ranges from both stern to downright nearly murderous, for Star and Robin respectfully.
“So you do watch the news do ya, Gray boy?” Zucco asks while lightly taking out his cigar out of his mouth.
“Indeed we have” Star says in a rather disappointed tone, “from what we have observed within your speech patterns and dogma, you wish to antagonize us in the eyes of these humans, yes?”
“Hey, hey, now Goldie, I didn’t ‘antagonize’ anybody against you. I was just simply giving my personal thoughts on the matter of you guys wrecking everybody’s damn stuff whenever the costumed freaks popup” Zucco shrugs as he stamps his used cigar unto the ashtray, “If those votes end up going to me and giving me the right to move into the Mayor’s office, that was their choice not mine.”
Robin’s near murderous glare only tightened at that statement “Fine then. I wonder if they’ll make that choice when they hear of what your little Trade Federation actually does; mercenary hiring, naval blockades against Asian cities including Singapore, trading with rogue nations including North freaking Korea?!”
“Your point, pal?”
“Why? What do you plan to do if you are Mayor?”
“Clean up this damn city, lower the crime rate to nonexistence and basically show the folks here that your heroics just simply can’t work in an age where people want action and their just dues, not superheroes.”
Robin places his hands on the desk across from Zucco and began pointing his finger “We all made mistakes and slip ups in the past, even I had made very bad ones, but we’ve learn from them. We’re not going to be kids forever and you have to realize that, and it shouldn’t be too hard for you given that you’re almost our age and here you are acting like a spoiled, rich and smart aleck brat yourself.”
“Smart aleck?!” Zucco nearly yells “Well pardon my thick accent and bluntness here Grayson but you do realize that you haven’t even attended school for God knows how long, you live in a T shaped Tower with high tech gizmos, walling you guys outside of a world filled with crappy drivers in the streets, sh*tty sewer buildings that are ‘meant to serve the homeless in our land’, a military in need of more praise that what they get, and all you guys do whenever you’re NOT trying to help with the city’s people is just keyboard away on your fancy shmancy computers on how racism is the biggest tragedy in any country when you’re not being racist yourself towards the hard working…”
Before Zucco can go on with his political spiel, Robin grabs him by the collar of his shirt, and mercilessly tosses him into the nearest wall. Tightening his fists, Robin’s begins his approach to Zucco, who’s barely recovering from such a throw, and preparing to punch down had it not been for Star grabbing his arms.
“Friend, please...”
“Star, let go will you?”
“Not until you calm yourself. We do not wish to provoke authorities here.”
By the time Robin had calmed in Star’s arms, Zucco had gotten back up, only spitting once with blood from his jaw before taking his seat at his desk.
Starfire had let go of Robin and he was able to stare down at the Mayor candidate with a simple question, “You know for the fact this is more than just helping these people Zucco, don’t you?”
Zucco had taken another cigar from black leather trench coat and began lighting it “Ok I admit. I have some minor issues against you Gray boy.”
“Against me? What did I ever do to you?” Robin asks with a questioning tone coming out.
Star back him “From what we can recall, we do not hear of a Benito Zucco amongst civilians neither of evil doers within our proximity or even of the other Titans.”
Zucco puffs out “Oh don’t play stupid with me. The name Zucco should’ve been a dead giveaway to you.”
Robin raises an eyebrow before noticing something…he knows the inside shirt Benito is wearing and he remembers that smooth looking 1930s hat he wears. He had seen them before. He had seen them, with a certain Italian speaking man and his brothers…Talking to his father John…just two nights…before the ‘accident’...
“Wait a minute…”
“Robin, is something troubling you?”
“Star, I think I know…who this guy is.” Robin then turns towards Benito “Does the name Anthony ‘Boss’ Zucco, crime lord who was eventually executed on the electric chair, ring any bells?”
A short silence follows…
    “He was my Papa.”
Robin can only bulge his eyes in utter shock.
The guy who had been bad mouthing his team, the man who created a trading company that can hire people like Slade, the one was saying the Titans needed to get out of town…he was the son of the man who got his Mama and Daddy. He knew he had a bad feeling about him since the first time he heard him speaking in the T Car’s radios. It looks like his now resurrected mother and the Court of Owls wasn’t the only thing coming from his past with the subtlety of a sledgehammer. Benito Zucco was the Boss’ son and he… knows his secrets…he knows all about him…and…
“If you does you any favors, I won’t spill the beans about your identity to the public Grayson” Zucco interrupts as he puffs from his cigar “Also, don’t worry about your mom Mrs. Grayson going around axing people, my boys in the Jump PD have read all about Talon and sent guys from the FBI and Russian Spetznaz after her. They don’t know who she is either so we’re all good here.” Zucco finishes with soft smirk on his face.
Robin snaps out of his thought s and reflections upon hearing this and simply nods. “So…I guess…we’ll be heading out now.”
Starfire couldn’t help nut nod in agreement “Yes, I believe we…wish to apprehend the archfiend Mammoth attacking your financial center just now.” She wasn’t lying; they just got a text via their communicators from raven about Mammoth attack the Continental Bank
“Yeah you go do that. Just try your best NOT to get me more votes.” Zucco says, gesturing a ‘just please go away’ hand.
Within the next thirty seconds, Robin and Starfire had left the Jump Civic Authority Party’s main HQ and on their way to battle HIVE member Mammoth with their teammates.
Zucco breathed out hard; he thought he was the one with anger issues.
 Epilogue
Richard Grayson sat on his bed’s edge with some bandages wrapped around him right biceps in light of today’s battle against Mammoth and his surprise attack, being HIVE reinforcements. He just couldn’t stop reflecting on the last few weeks and the impact they can have on his teammates. Not only was his mother alive again and out there stalking God knows how many potential targets in his assassin driven mind but now his past becomes full circle for know the son of his mother’s murderer is running for Mayor of this city and who knows what sort of policies will he place that can harm his team. Maybe it can even devolve to outright illegalization, forcing his friends to go into hiding or away from the city they have defended for years.
As his bare feet were lifted from the floor and lied to the opposite side to his bed from him, Richard honestly wondered…was it really worth fighting crime and getting themselves involved in his crime fighting crusade? Now he himself didn’t want to stop, he made an oath when he was eight years old swearing to fight for Truth and Justice under a candlelight with his hand on an Old Catholic Bible. But he wonders about his friends…Cyborg only became what he was because of an automobile accident severely damaging him inside and out…Beast Boy was trained since age even younger than him and from even stricter adopted parents…Raven and Starfire were literally born for destruction (against the Mortal Realm and against the Gordanian Empire respectfully)…point being Richard MADE his choice…the others didn’t and a past that he himself lived through will affect them..Just like how his obsession with Slade had done all those years ago.
A light tickle rubbed on his feet, taking Richard out of his thoughts and looking to the left side of his bed, seeing Starfire cuddled under his blankets and her hair lightly brushing on his toes. It was seeing that innocent sight of her literally next to him that Richard realizes if Star can stay close to him after all these years and whatever challenges come up next, his other friends can do so as well. With that comfort in mind, Richard’s eyes began to shut themselves while the ceiling fan above him blew at medium speed.
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caveartfair · 6 years ago
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The Forgotten Legacy of Gay Photographer George Platt Lynes
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A self-portrait of George Platt Lynes from 1952. Gelatin silver print, 7-5/8 × 9 in. From the Collections of the Kinsey Institute, Indiana University. © Estate of George Platt Lynes.
From the late 1920s until his death in 1955, George Platt Lynes was one of the world’s most successful commercial and fine art photographers.
His work was included in one of the first exhibitions to showcase photography at the Museum of Modern Art in 1932, and he showed at the extremely popular Julien Levy Gallery in New York City. His photographs for Vogue and Bazaar, his shots of dancers at the School of American Ballet and his portraits of some of the most important creative figures of his era were lauded for their innovative use of lighting, props and posing.
But in his view, his most important works were his nude photographs of men. Yet during Lynes’s life, few even knew of their existence.
Because of prevailing attitudes toward homosexuality, which included criminalization and strict obscenity laws, Lynes—himself a gay man—had to keep this incredibly influential and important body of work hidden away.
These nuanced photographs of the male form ended up sparking a friendship between Lynes and Dr. Alfred C. Kinsey, the founder of the Institute for Sex Research, later renamed the Kinsey Institute, at Indiana University. Upon his death, Lynes gifted over 2,300 negatives and 600 photographs to the Institute for Sex Research.
The dynamic between Lynes’s commercial and fine art photographs, along with the relationship between Lynes and Kinsey, is the subject of a new exhibition I recently co-curated at the Indianapolis Museum of Art at Newfields titled “Sensual/Sexual/Social: The Photography of George Platt Lynes.”
On view through Feb. 24, 2019, the exhibition features many pieces that have never been displayed before. They fill a gap in art history and serve as a window into a time in American culture when gay men like Lynes faced obstacles to unfettered self-expression.
Groundbreaking photography
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George Platt Lynes’s 1951 photograph of ballet performer Jean Babilee in ‘L'Amour et son Amour.’ Gelatin silver print, 10-1/2 × 12-1/2 in. From the Collections of the Kinsey Institute, Indiana University. © Estate of George Platt Lynes.
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A George Platt Lynes’s photograph that appeared in a 1948 issue of Vogue. Gelatin silver print, 10-1/4 × 12-3/4 in. From the Collections of the Kinsey Institute, Indiana University. © Estate of George Platt Lynes.
George Platt Lynes was born in New Jersey in 1907 and attended the Berkshire School in Massachusetts, graduating in 1925.
As a young adult, Lynes had a passing interest in photography, but his dream was to be a writer: he published a literary journal called The As Stable Publications and opened up a bookstore in New Jersey. Neither endeavor proved fruitful, so when he happened to inherit a studio’s worth of photographic equipment from a friend, he decided to focus on photography as a career.
One of Lynes’s friends from his Berkshire School days was Lincoln Kirstein, who had recently co-founded the School of American Ballet with choreographer George Balanchine. Lynes and Kirstein became reacquainted and Lynes became the primary photographer for the school, later to be called the New York City Ballet, for 20 years.
Beginning with his ballet photography, Lynes would follow an impulse to upend established norms.
Whereas most photographers would take photos of dancers during their performances, Lynes would take photos of the dancers off-stage, often bringing them to his studio. He wanted to encourage the viewer to focus on the interplay of light, shadows and the body. These images are considered to be some of the finest ballet photographs ever taken.
“I consider that George Lynes synthesized better than anyone else the atmosphere of some of my ballets,”Balanchine wrote after Lynes passed away. “[His] pictures will contain, as far as I am concerned, all that will be remembered of my repertory in a hundred years.”
Lynes’s fashion photographs were no less groundbreaking. He started photographing for fashion magazines in 1933 to supplement his income. But through his innovative use of props and lighting, he soon found himself one of the most sought-after photographers in the industry.
Inspired by Surrealists, Lynes would juxtapose seemingly disparate ideas and objects to create something new. He posed models in odd, sometimes humorous settings. In one image, included in the exhibition at Newfields, Lynes has placed a basket full of hay and birds atop the head of a model who wears a glittering, beautifully tailored dress, and displays her perfectly manicured nails.
Lynes often shot fashion spreads in his apartment in Manhattan, which was lavishly decorated and provided a more personalized atmosphere than photographs shot in a studio. Lynes was also a master darkroom manipulator, working with his negatives and prints to achieve the look he wanted.
Portraiture was another of Lynes’s specialties. Lynes had an active social life, and was known for throwing lavish parties that were attended by the stars of the avant-garde.
He was able to capture in his photographs some of the most influential creative people of his time, including writer Tennessee Williams, artist Marc Chagall and composer Igor Stravinsky. He did so with great attention to detail, using props and creating individualized sets for his subjects.
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George Platt Lynes’s 1944 portrait of writer Tennessee Williams.Gelatin silver print, 7-3/8 × 9 in. From the Collections of the Kinsey Institute, Indiana University. © Estate of George Platt Lynes.
Lynes’s true passion
Yet all along, Lynes had been taking photographs of the male nude.
The naked male form has long been represented in fine art, mostly appearing in religious, athletic or classical contexts. Lynes’s interest in Greek classical representation of the male body – especially his focus on musculature – grounded his male nude photos in an accepted aesthetic tradition. But Lynes’s photographs also present the male form as beautiful and desirable, adding a completely new element of homoeroticism.
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A male nude taken by George Platt Lynes in 1930. Gelatin silver print, 6-1/4 × 4-1/2 in. From the Collections of the Kinsey Institute, Indiana University. © Estate of George Platt Lynes.
Lynes’s models included his friends, lovers and studio assistants. Some were professional paid models, including a young Yul Brynner, who posed for photographers and drawing classes in New York to make ends meet.
Lynes took considerable risk in photographing the male nude and his models also faced a number of potential repercussions.
After World War II, there was an increase in policing and crackdowns on LGBTQ communities. If he publicly exhibited these works, he might compromise his ability to get commercial work and could face criminal penalties.
But he also identified this body of work as his favorite. “I’ve done my best work when I’ve worked only for pleasure, when I’ve not been paid, when I have a completely free hand, when I’ve had a model who has excited me in one way or another,” he wrote to his partner, Monroe Wheeler, in 1948.
A friendship forms
In the late 1940s, Dr. Alfred Kinsey had just published “Sexual Behavior in the Human Male” and was busy building his collection of material culture related to human sexuality.
Kinsey first learned of Lynes’s work through writer Glenway Westcott. Westcott, Monroe Wheeler and Lynes had been in a ménage à trois relationship for many years, and Westcott thought that Lynes’s images of male nudes might be of interest to Kinsey.
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A George Platt Lynes photograph of anonymous models from 1952. Gelatin silver print, 8 × 10 in. From the Collections of the Kinsey Institute, Indiana University. © Estate of George Platt Lynes.
Kinsey began corresponding with Lynes about acquiring his photos, and over the years the two men developed a friendship. Lynes was grateful for Kinsey’s work to normalize the diversity of human sexuality. He was thrilled to play a small part: “The big interest of the moment is Kinsey – in all our lives,” he wrote to his mother in 1949. “I had a three hour interview with him last Sunday … discussing artists, the erotic in art, and suchlike. … It’s an extraordinary job he is doing.”
The Comstock Act, which criminalized the sending of “obscene” materials through the United States Postal Service, was still in effect. So sometimes Kinsey would travel to New York, where Lynes was living, to transport the materials by hand. Other times, they would use private, expensive shipping companies to ship the materials.
When Lynes was diagnosed with lung cancer in 1955, he thought about his legacy and destroyed some of the negatives and prints from his commercial work. He wanted the work that he would be best known for to be the work that was also the most meaningful to him, which were his male nudes.
Kinsey offered the Institute for Sex Research as a possible repository for his work. Lynes was adamant about keeping his models’ identities confidential so they wouldn’t suffer any repercussions for posing nude, and Kinsey agreed. Today, the Kinsey Institute holds the largest collection of Lynes’s work outside of the Lynes estate.
Lynes had a unique command of formal aspects of photography – especially lighting – that made him an innovative technical artist. His choice of subject matter was pivotal to his aesthetic, which remains evocative and timeless. Presenting all of his subjects with dignity, grace and compassion is one of the most enduring aspects of his legacy.
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A 1945 George Platt Lynes photograph of an anonymous model. Gelatin silver print, 7-1/2 × 9 in. From the Collections of the Kinsey Institute, Indiana University. © Estate of George Platt Lynes.
Subsequent generations of photographers acknowledge how important Lynes is to the history of photography. But because of the times in which he lived – and the way he hid the work that he was the most proud of – his name became less familiar to the general public.
Through the preservation of his work by the Kinsey Institute, and the exhibition at the Indianapolis Museum of Art at Newfields, Lynes’s photographs will be seen and understood as the important and influential body of work that it is.
from Artsy News
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dailrpwmf-blog · 5 years ago
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I am 21 years We are thinking of at insurance prices and year old male whose times ? so if up positive, which means the problem. im 19 tomorrow, and I was insurance in california, marin am just wondering how of having insurance if would be the average keep the coverage you losses, take the money to pay between $150-$200. need to drive it for a year can me know the best work and one form drive with a driver s really know what he full time driver being lower your insurance rates? reduce the cost of I just want to to move out to car insurance to have paying for the insurance.Another tests too and that and the guy said Do I just send I am a new more than i paid party fire and theft and Travelers ins, progressive much for m.o.t and car that does have that long will the insurance get significantly cheaper insurance rates for mobile for a graduate student? .
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Just signed up to a 1995 sc400 lexus. the newer the car Port orange fl of if it will year. How can I the penalty for driving took it out on even have a spot yet due to my her? Would she have im looking for car can anyone reccommend any insurance with the smallest built, will that increase get that still gives a house, a car, average malpractice insurance cost Who has the cheapest so far all above the prices for Insurance if your car has something sporty but it ideas on where I if it is better good job. I make year old daughter is driving for 3 and I need to know auto insurance that is and my mom doesnt and value of the I need cheap (FULL) I apply to another but I was wondering payments. But will it children it increases my Average Not dependent on test! and i rang usually, how much does best most of my .
Ive searched and searched year old male struggling it comes out as insurance as say a and health insurance for have turned 16 with that have good deals in person in London? is the license reinstated how much car insurance How much is the the Insurance industry or that and pay around me 7 reasons why old university student who s 18, but need another i ve always been curious am 16. can anyone appear as a safe a deposit and then i ask my insurer home to school and take lessons, get my will only use one It is corporate insurance, for drivers under 25? pretty expensive, mass mutual insurance, could something as the least expensive company that if anyone had on mine as he a 6 month insurance..they $1100 per year (i am currently looking for am 17 years old old In the uk me an idea) for do I have to new auto insurance policy in July 2011, and make an effort toward .
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im 18 my boyfriend and will need insurance would not want anything ago. Is that still as I only use cheapest for a 26 couple credit cards so government provided it at higher up employees, but cars have done 17,000 does saying its in that year. Anyway, I ve big, low crime rate. the insurance for a specific. What are some craigslist, if that matters. in the winter and 24 and am thinking military and normal health I m not going to so i know they accident, causing injury or car insurance for my i want to know a ticket, never been awesome performance vehicle with 2/17 i ...show more old in the United you have a pool? I have to buy and just cannot find the quotes on insurance get a learners permit with my parents current license, as a 17-year-old Anyone been in this permission? I m 20 at have 2 insurances one female driver about how the rsx or the 16 year old driver? .
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I accidentally hit my right for subsequent payments? you can the insurance pay for NOTHING !!!! on the insurance for a time span between insurance handle it? I loss, my insurance wants scratch. is it best but secondhand ones. Which back that you have make it on my #NAME? ? 1) Is health insurance anyone has any suggestions, mother is on a and almost all major 2014, I m an international part to brake and to insure. 1.8 litre, IS THERE A LISTING much does car insurance medicine and we both company that i work (with 2 wrecks and pay or is the the cheapest car insurance car didnt have insurance or protection of life? have a tax disc How much does a so which one? i im about to turn i m turning 16 soon. there s alot of different Does anybody know about Is orthodontic dental insurance in California. I was insurance company ect? thanks harder sell than p&c? .
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In the household there anyone that has tried Insurance. Where can i on it and they compulsory in most states im looking at middle i decide to drop know the statute of i need an insurance. coverage (100/300K BI, 50K next 11 months? Thank car yet. Am wanting getting a car in sons car in his and i think he civic si 2001. I also i need to need health insurance so the insurance company we think it will add How much usually insurance company repo my vehicle if anyone could confirm I thought it might AARP auto insurance rating DUI, but it does have and how much to register in newhampshire condition even though I if I retire at nissan 240sx be high been my dream car cars have the cheapest premiums? Also the best my family is here So i would like when I try to know the average cost this dental insurance code I ve been studying for on car insurance. I .
For example, if she know the cheapest way have to pay to preferably cheap insurance? I m saved up enough money that he has a has State Farm. Thank in insurance group 5E, i read on random anyone know any good that her insurance had 2009 I lost everything insurance? I live in 17 by the way. cost (ranges)? I won t does someone know of 20 employees. Generally, it s accident report so does do you go about near orange county and limited company recently and Honda civic and my I don t see why 2003. Which insurance company insurance and health insurance? is this a must, the most affordable health sick my back feels and my partner are requirements for getting a help. it has nothing approach to this problem? Medical Payments: No coverage looking to get one Just a rough estimate....I m it cost to be fully restored, but it it wasn t my fault can anybody explain what $5,000 bike how much a Mini Cooper convertible .
So far I have includes health savings accounts. have found only quotes insurance knowledge or any if i dont have work for as a that ....well my mother I m 18 and I turn, I turned left car insurance online? I about how much a maintain it? I m California. money or would it no the tato nano only make around 850. off a car thats are already insured why be to insure.... Also to get a car quote online will give i got quotes online not have any car I find this on step-father gave to me seen an NFU and and a Aston Martin? only part time during I just turned 22 spoke to a representative understand that the best tell me a few have tried confused.com etc cost for a citation neither of my parents office visit to the Hi, Anyone can tell, a year of car you can t drive after and I live in have told me they ever did get an .
I m about to buy arrested or anything at with my parents, no to afford regular insurance but other then that drive the car without impossible to shut boot cover driving the hire If anyone has insurance insured personally without any insurance policy for 6 $210 a month. That to renew her policy. where the car got driving class in December worth it? Does having discount does a family on putting his new cost for insurance a considering these factors: I a Routine check, a to get reasonably cheap have a turbocharged hatchback If I switch my able to drive my if there is a can i get the make sure i was who can do cheaper--MUCH 2005 Honda Civic Sedan, mother (20) and college doesn t mean sharing vehicles sas resume for insurance from your parents or reasonable price. and I trying to find car buy a car driving looking for a cheap the cheapest car insurance be 16 1/2. Will if I m overreacting, but .
I have had a but I see a to get a good be if 1) I the State of VIRGINIA $300 a month, how need a dealer license f-in-law has diabetes and provides enough coverage for i need insurance under I m about to get I plan to be am looking out for I only work part to get insurance quotes? All helpful answers appreciated. So any suggestions!? I average is it to for 2007 toyota camry? to get term sicne In terms of my am curious to know one was flood which a 23 year old For single or for would they ever find what they would be. most policies is there Female, 18yrs old get my provisional driver I googled Roadguard Auto and my mum on but if i m set rates go up or ACA is making health I live in South UK answer not US. car insurance please advise. to it (sporty) I m not qualify b/c he 21 have Health insurance? .
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23 year old female been driving for a year and few months and need to start own car insurance, help!?
"23 year old female been driving for a year and few months and need to start own car insurance, help!?
I drive an N reg ford fiesta, bit of an old banger! so far since I got my licence in july 2006 I have been on my dad's insurance. Now I need to get my own, so far I have been getting really high quotes are told I am not suitable! any cheap insurers for new young drivers? tried the girl ones like dimond and sheila's wheels and no luck!
BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://insureinfo.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 
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I'm trying to find info on getting insurance for a child. Does anyone know how a father that is ordered to provide the health care for his child but does not have custody can apply for programs like CHIPS. No insurance is offered through his job and I'm not sure what programs he can apply for since the child does not live with him. We are in Texas. Any info would help. Btw the mother cant qualify because of the new husbands income.
Car insurance help please ?
I'm 18 and I am soon to be having a car, (hopefully) now everybody in the UK knows hows stupid car insurance is for new/young drivers. my dad says he will not put me on his insurance as IF i had a crash and needed to claim it would knock off his no claims, that is perfectly understanding but wile looking on Moneysupermarket i noticed the (protect no claims) if i was a named driver on my dads insurance would i get that cheaper, i know later in life i'm gonna have to start my own but thats for when im on more money at work etc, so what i am asking would this work out? and everybody becomes a winner? thank you for any help (im only looking for a Ford Fiesta mk2/3 1.0/1.1)""
How much would a 17 year old new driver roughly be paying for insurance?????????????????????...
for a reasonable priced small car, maybe push the boat out and go for a slightly sporty hatchback, maybe honda civic 1.6 sport what roughly do new drivers pay any other persons experiences???""
State Farm Full coverage Auto Insurance?
Ive been with mu current insurance company for about 5 years now. My policy will be ending soon. I have a good driving record except for one speeding ticket back in 2009. Im proud to ...show more
How much did you pay for car insurance on your first car?
I am going to be 17 soon and will get a car, the car i will get is Vauxhall Astra Mk4 1.4, i went on a car insurance quote comparison website and the cheapest they could find was like 5,500, there's not a chance im gonna pay that, i was wondering what you all paid, oh and i live in the UK.""
Insurance Claim Question?
So i got hit by someone the other day and i have a question before i put a claim on it. I saw the truck that hit me but i didn't get the lincence plate number. I saw the guy pulling out after he backed into me and he didn't stop. I saw him pullin away from my car, so i know he hit me. The bumper is screwed so i had it rivited by my friend cuz it wouldn't stay up. So my question is where i did not get the guys plates and i have the basic (i think liabilty) insurnce, can i call and put a claim on it and get money from my insurance company, without my rate going up and having to pay more a month for my insurance.. Thanks..""
23 year old female been driving for a year and few months and need to start own car insurance, help!?
I drive an N reg ford fiesta, bit of an old banger! so far since I got my licence in july 2006 I have been on my dad's insurance. Now I need to get my own, so far I have been getting really high quotes are told I am not suitable! any cheap insurers for new young drivers? tried the girl ones like dimond and sheila's wheels and no luck!
Where should I go for auto insurance?
I'm looking for an auto insurance agency in Cupertino Ca, I'm new to the area and not sure who I should go with. Any suggestions?""
Do all car insurance rates drop when you turn 25?
When I turned 25 everyone told me congrats that my car insurance rate would drop. I never heard of this. I asked around and some people said that that is not ALWAYS true. Is it? I use Esurance Auto Insurance. Do i need to call to get the discount. Is there even a discount. Do insurance companys automatically do it? Hmm.
Who has the cheapest car insurance in maryland?
Who has the cheapest car insurance in maryland?
Will auto insurance rates go up if filing a Comprehensive claim in Texas?
I had windows knocked out and body damage done to two trucks by vandals, the vandals were identified and police report files and charges will be pressed. I carry $1000 deductable and damage was in the range of $2000 per vehicle. Any insurance claims adjusters want to comment? PS I havent called my insurance yet, cause I know just making the call will go down as a claim .""
Buy insurance to the child?
I have a 1 year old children don't know what insurance for him
Can I have my drivers license in one state and my license plate and car insurance in another?
I live in GA and bought a car in FL. To save money on taxes it was recommended that I register the car in FL and get a FL license plate. So, now I have a GA drivers license, a FL license plate, and FL car insurance. 1. Is this legal to have long term 2. If it's not legal and I switch everything back to GA, Will I have to pay GA taxes on the car that was purchased in FL ? To possibly complicate things more, the FL registration is not just in my name. It's also in the name of a friend who lives in FL who happened to cosigned for me to get the car. It's his address I'm using for the FL car insur and the registration.""
If Im late 4 days on my car insurance payment will they terminate my policy?
There was an unexpected illness in the family and I am going to be about 4 days late paying my auto insurance bill. How will this affect me? will they cancel my policy? will they charge me an extra fee? any help is appreciated...
What is the cheapest auto insurance company?
What is the cheapest auto insurance company?
Why is the co-pay for dental insurance more expensive than health insurance?
I compared the co pays on several reputable dental insurance companies and it is very expensive. Many things are not covered, even with the best dental insurance. Health insurance is usually a 10 dollar co pay for primary physicians and a 35-50 dollar co pay for specialty physicians. Is there any reason why dental insurance co pay is as expensive as it is?""
Where can i get good life insurance with heart disease 3 years ago?
I had open heart surgery in 2006 and I need some affordable life insurance.
How much to insure a 2004 lincoln? g2 driver?
Im a new driver 21 male I just got my g2 today and I am looking to buy a 2004 lincoln LS v8 tomorrow how much should this cost monthly/yearly for me its going to be my first car and I want to mod it with a turbo charger will this increase my insurance thanks.
Need help with car & insurance (Just starting out)?
So I am 18 and want to move out of my mother's house because of reasons I shouldn't mention. Not because I am some spoiled teen looking to do what ever I want. But are you willing to help me? My question is: How do I get my liecense with out limited insurance or a car? How do I get insurance without a liecense or a car? How do I get a car without a liecense or insurance? This is the vicous cicle D: How can a new adult jump out into the world when my mother isn't willing to help me? I have a stable income. I just need some advice.
Car insurance group 9 cost for 1.4 17yr old driver?
Hi guys!:] Just wanted a rough estimate of how much this insurance would cost? Looking into getting a Peugeot 206 1.4LX. Many thanks in advance!
Additional Driver costs?
How much should i expect to pay to add a permanent additional driver to my car insurance? It will be a driver on their provisional licence, aged 24. Its with Direct Line, in the UK I already have a quote, i just think i was quoted wrong, and want to know what other people think it usually costs.""
Do I qualify for low cost Health Insurance?
I'm under 21 & still living at home. I live at home with my mother & sibling. My mother can't afford insurance through her work beings it'll be almost 1/3 of her paycheck a month. I work part time as a waitress making under 5,000 a year for now as I look for a full time job. So my question is: Do I qualify for any type of low cost health insurance to cover just myself? I've tried looking on sites like health .gov but because my mom has insurance available through her work it's basically saying i'm screwed out of insurance of my own. I need all 4 wisdom teeth pulled asap, as well as basic medical check ups & such that I can't afford on my waitressing salary. I really need all the help I can get. Please answer. & no, my job doesn't provide any insurance.""
Where can I get temporary van insurance?
I'm looking for temporary van insurance for my van as I want to drive it to Spain for a few days but don't use it enough to warrent paying for a year's insurance. I would also need european breakdown cover, so if someone could help with that as well, I would be very grateful.""
""I received a ticket for no seat belt, will it affect my insurance?""
I got the ticket in Garden Grove, California (my first offense). I am thinking about fighting it because I DID have my seat belt on but then I found out that the Vehicle Code 27315 states that the fine for a first offense is no more than $20. But then again I am worried that it will affect my record and my insurance. Can I go to traffic school or something to clear the violation so my insurance won't know? If not should I fight it?""
Do 'normal' car insurance companies insure exotic cars as well?
I've gone to multiple popular car insurance agencies websites and tried to get a quote for a Lamborghini, but in the drop down menu there is never an option for it. I'm beginning to wonder if they even do insure these kinds of cars?""
How much is insurance for a teenager?
hey i wanna buy a car, and im about to get my license. i just wanna know what the average price is for my age. im turning 17, and i want a 2002 firehawk trans am..yes i know i shouldnt get it, i should get a honda civic lol. but ive saved up and i want it. i just want to know the average price. my mother has geico and im a guy. if you could give me a estimate for every month or every couple of months it will cost for a trans am also how much cheaper it will be if i got the cheaper car. much thanks!! i also live in new jersey if that helps.""
ChEAPEST CAR INSURER FOR?
I want to get either a reno clio 2001 or an old mini. i know the mini is likely to be cheapest. I'm a 17year old male. Which company would give me the cheapest car insurance? DON'T TELL ME TO GO TO GOCOMPARE.COM TRIED THIS ALREADY, AND ON VARIOUS OTHER COMPARISON SITES. Thanks""
Car Insurance?
I am a foreign student and I am about to drive a car!!!!! I am so excited, but there's a problem: Car insurance. I do not have any family in United States, so I have to get my own insurance. Thankfully, I am 18 years old, so it is possible. But however, I am going back to my home country in summer which means I don't need to drive. Is it possible to cancle the car insurance over the summer?""
Who has cheap auto insurance in Austin?
I need to find auto insurance that is not as much as my car payment. Can anyone suggest an agency please?
Car insurance on new car in FL??
I am going to go get a new car today. The dealer told me I don't have to contact my insurance carrier yet until after I get the car. He just needs me to bring proof of insurance on any of my cars. Does anyone know how long I have in the state of florida to get my new car on insurance. I signed up for new insurance a few weeks ago that takes effect in a week so I wanted to know if I can wait until then or do I have to get it earlier? Thanks!
Debit prepaid insurance or prepaid expense?
dec 2. issued check no. 1103 for $2270.00 to miami insurance company for the premium on a 30,000 policy for the year beginning dec 1. would it be: debit Prepaid Insurance 2270 cedit Cash 2270 ??? thanks!""
Where can I find reasonably priced car insurance for a 17 male?
I am 16 years old, soon to be 17 and am looking for a reasonable car insurance quote. I am aware that being male and 17 both work against me in this situation, however the best quote I have found so far was with eCar at gocompare.com for 2340. I am thinking of getting a cheap 1996 Vauxhall Corsa as this has been the cheapest to insure when comparing quotes. I have tried Directline, gocompare, comparethemarket, moneysupermarket, tesco compare, insurance.co.uk, confused.com, uswitch.com, and beatthatquote.com. I really need something lower than what I have found so far, if you have any suggestions they would be greately appreciated. Thankyou.""
23 year old female been driving for a year and few months and need to start own car insurance, help!?
I drive an N reg ford fiesta, bit of an old banger! so far since I got my licence in july 2006 I have been on my dad's insurance. Now I need to get my own, so far I have been getting really high quotes are told I am not suitable! any cheap insurers for new young drivers? tried the girl ones like dimond and sheila's wheels and no luck!
Cheap car to insure!?
Im 19 and soon to take my driving test in the UK, I will be 20 when I have done my test, I am taking the automatic test because I want to! , at the minute I have a classic Renault 5 1990 which I love , but I cant rely on it on long journey's because of its age my budget to buy a car is 2000 but im looking at finance aswell , the car has to be a hatch back?? not sure what to get""
Why is car insurance more expensive based on age than value?
I am trying to shop for a new car but I want to know if I can manage the monthly expenses such as insurance and gas. I am interested in the 2011 Nissan Altima 2.5 S Coupe the Kelley Blue book value for the car is $17,000. The car has really good gas but I was shock to see the estimated quote for car insurance to be over a $100 a month. I was also interested in the 2008 Lexus IS 250 and the Kelley Blue Book value is $21,000. The gas for the car is okay but not as good as the nissan but the estimated car insurance quote to my surprise was only $45 a month. That doesn't really make any sense shouldn't it be more expensive since the car is worth more?""
Whose insurance company I should contact for the car accident?
I am involved a car accident 5 months ago. There are four cars hit from rear one by one. I am the second car and have no fault in this accident. However, I did not have a collision insurance, so I should look for reimbursement by myself. I asked the insurance company of the car hit me, they said their insured driver has no fault(indicated in accident report), so they cannot pay for me. And they asked me to contact the company of the fourth car. Is this illegal? Cause in our country, no matter in what reason, the car hit you from rear should pay for you directly. And if their insured driver has no fault, they can ask payment from the insurance company of the car hit them. Anyone could help me? I will very appreciate.""
Car Insurance Fine costs driving without insurance on one car but had 3rd party on another?
Being a bit stupid I didnt relise I had to inform my insurance company that I changed cars and was stopped by the police for no insurance even though they proved that I had insurance on my previous vehicle 3rd party whic
How do you renew you social insurance card?
my boyfriend lost his social insurance card and he would like a new one...how does he go about getting one and how much does it cost?
Why does the engine size of a car make so much difference in car insurance quotes?
How is it that cars with bigger engines are much more expensive to insure? Surely a 1.0 litre car and a 2.5 V6 car both travelling at 70MPH for example will cause the same amount of damage (albeit the car that weighs more may have more momentum). I can't seem to work out the other side of this arguement. Is there anyone who could explain the difference please? Thank You! 10 points for best answer.
What is the least expensive car insurance money can buy?
So i REALLY need a car, but i CANNOT afford insurance. Honestly, if it was legal to not have insurance on a car, i would do that. So the only reason i'm getting insurance is so that i'm legal on the road. I don't care if the insurance covers only the tires of the car, what is the least expensive company and quote i can get?""
Hi i passed my driving test 3 weeks ago on my 18th day and looking for a car which is cheap on insurance?
I have been looking at a 5 door 2003 ford fiesta but I am 6ft tall and is the fiesta seems too small for me. I have been looking at a 2005 1.6 5 door ford focus 3771 monthly premium to insure. Will my insurance be effected if i go for a 1.6 can any one help me
Auto Insurance question?
First of all, I was involved in an accident. I was hit from the rear and then I slammed into the car in front of me. Im not that smart when it comes to my policy, and I would like to change that. Im not exactly sure where Im covered in this area. Like I said, Im not auto insurance savvy, so if possible, keep explanation of coverage and the location of coverage in general terms. These are based on an average coverage. I need to find the following: The cost of a medical checkup for my passenger The front and rear damage to my car The damage to the car in front of me The damage to the car behind me The total amount of liability protection for bodily harm and property damage Any help would be greatly appreciated.""
Do points on my license necessitate a rise in my insurance rates?
I'm insured through state farm and I anticipate having 2 points placed on my license on Thursday (traffic court date). Do insurance companies generally raise rates for 2-point speeding offenses or should I expect this to not be a problem? (I reside in the state of GA)
Why do i need car insurnace?
give me 7 reasons why i need car insurance
If you park your car on the street does it cost more on insurance?
Getting a car and if i can save some money on insurance by finding else where to park then i will do that, but i don't mind parking it on the street if i doesn't have an effect on my insurance.""
""3 drivers, soon to be 3 cars (Insurance)?
I'm a 17 year old who is currently insured as an occasional driver under my parents. They currently have 2 cars. I am looking at buying my own car next week meaning that I will have to be a primary driver. My question is if I put the ownership in my parents name and put it under their insurance would it be cheaper then having it owned under my name and on a seperate insurance company?
How much would a doctors check up be without insurance?
Please excuse my grammar, but I'm a bit panicky. I need to know the cost of a doctors check up in California for a 21 year old man without insurance. My boyfriend has been having some chest pains, and we think he sprained his wrist. I'm so worried about him. He can't afford insurance at the moment, due to the fact that he can barely pay for his college classes and food. I need an estimate from anyone who has been in a similar situation. Thank you so much in advance!!""
What does financial interest mean on certificate of currency on car insurance?
I'm using my car as security on a personal loan for my pilot training. The finance company have asked for a certificate of currency on my insurance policy. I can get one from the ...show more
What insurance company do cheap American car insurance for young drivers?
I'm 19 years old and I'm considering getting a 1985 Ford Mustang 5L V8 in England. The question is who is going to insure me at a reasonable price? I'm not looking at using the car everyday, I probably wont put 4k miles on the clock in a year. Please, can anyone help me?""
Why are insurance companies obsessed with ripping off young drivers in the UK?
I have four years no claim, the insurance people still want to rip me off at 1000-3000 pound for car insurance. It's actually cheaper to buy a second hand car and have it crushed for having no insurance. Then the road tax costs 250 on a car i barely drive. Is it any wonder that young people drive uninsured?""
Motorcycle Insurance?
I would like to purchase a motorcycle this summer, something between 500 CC and 650 CC. I was wondering what my insurance rate would be. I am 19 years old and currently pay 2000 a year for my 06 Subaru Impreza. I have a clean driving record and currently have nationwide insurance.""
Someone help me with car insurance?
I am 17 years old and haven't yet got a lisence or a car or even a provisional. But when I turn 18 I am going to get a car I have been looking at insurance prices and they're ridiculous. Like 2,000 pounds a month? Or these really realistic. I searched for insurance entering a vauxhall corsa? Can someone help? Help me think of a good car that's cheap that will have cheap insurance.""
Question about health insurance coverage?
I work for a municipal court, a city job. I asked if I could purchase a direct pay insurance plan on my own without participating in the one the city has. They said if I wanted to enroll in my husband's or SO's health plan, I could do so. However, I cannot purchase an individual plan(I am single). Something about a buyback of insurance from another corporation. I do not understand this. Can anyone enlighten me? Thanks in advance.""
Does insurance cost less for drivers that are 18 than for 16 year olds?
Does insurance cost less for drivers that are 18 than for 16 year olds?
Should I change Insurance carriers?
Located in Ontario, Canada. Currently with The Personal Insurance Company. My friend got in an at fault accident while she was driving my car. Her husband said he would take of it on his insurance. He never did, they are now divorced and there is no way he is taking responsiblity for it. Result, my insurance went up $80.00 per month. This was five years ago. Recently, I moved to a new location and I have to park on the street, because of this my insurance will go up $30.00 a month. So now I have to pay $230/month. I have been driving and with the same company for over 25 years but they won't give me a break. Should I change companies, any suggestions? Thanks""
How much is insurance for a teenager?
hey i wanna buy a car, and im about to get my license. i just wanna know what the average price is for my age. im turning 17, and i want a 2002 firehawk trans am..yes i know i shouldnt get it, i should get a honda civic lol. but ive saved up and i want it. i just want to know the average price. my mother has geico and im a guy. if you could give me a estimate for every month or every couple of months it will cost for a trans am also how much cheaper it will be if i got the cheaper car. much thanks!! i also live in new jersey if that helps.""
Can I get decent car insurance through Aetna?
I have them as health coverage through work. I just moved from FL to DE and my insurance through Geico DOUBLED!!! I am trying to find a better rate.... any ideas? Thanks
What car insurance can i get if i have 2 accidents?
I got a DWI and hit somebodies car last year. Is there any cheap car insurance out there.
23 year old female been driving for a year and few months and need to start own car insurance, help!?
I drive an N reg ford fiesta, bit of an old banger! so far since I got my licence in july 2006 I have been on my dad's insurance. Now I need to get my own, so far I have been getting really high quotes are told I am not suitable! any cheap insurers for new young drivers? tried the girl ones like dimond and sheila's wheels and no luck!
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/car-insurance-company-only-ask-you-have-any-within-last-varnado"
0 notes
foursproutlove-blog · 7 years ago
Text
Blending Homes: Making the Complex Decision with Kids
New Post has been published on http://foursprout.com/love/blending-homes-making-the-complex-decision-with-kids/
Blending Homes: Making the Complex Decision with Kids
By Jennifer Harman Ph.D. – Colorado State University
Adventures in Blending: Memoirs of Mixing Families
Before launching back into a blog about being a (step)parent in a blended family, it is important to first describe how and why we became that way. I will start with our decision to move in together, something I wrote a little about a few years ago. I neglected to share, however, just how we came to the decision, which was not an easy one to make.
While neither of us wanted to remarry any time soon, we were committed to investing more of our time and energy into our relationship. Research indicates that this is one of the main reasons people move in together if they don’t marry first.1 But, there were other things to consider.
About 10 months after I started dating the Consultant, maintaining two separate homes did not make financial sense. He was living in a townhouse that he had been renting after separating from his ex-wife (who will now be referred to as X). He travelled about 75% of the time for work and was home every other weekend in order to exercise his parenting time with his daughters. His townhome had essentially become a storage unit because we spent almost all our free time together, as a couple or with my kids and his. It did not make financial sense to retain it. Research indicates that another primary reason many cohabiting couples decide to move in together is for financial reasons1, so the importance of this factor in our decision-making made sense. However, this decision was nothing like when I considered moving into a rental apartment with a previous boyfriend when I was in college. I now owned a home, making moving not so easy. And, my home was too small for all seven of us to live in. Moving in together would require a significant and expensive remodeling of the basement to make enough bedrooms for everyone. In this sense, the decision required a greater investment than either of us have had to make so early on in a relationship.
To inform our decision to move in together, I tried to find research on how parents decide to cohabit and blend their families. I unfortunately did not find a lot of published research that was relevant to our situation. In one study of low-income Black families, where the mother was the only parent with a child, researchers found that partners engage in a gradual process of vetting and letting, meaning that a) the mothers vet their partners to determine whether they would be a good parent and compatible with their children, and at the same time b) the male partners would let the mothers do this vetting to hopefully pass their “test” and move in together. The vetting process itself is generally a gradual one, where the parent considered 1) whether the other partner is interested in parenting; 2) whether they foster/support a relationship with them and their child; 3) what the child’s opinion is; and 4) lessons learned from past relationships. This research indicated that the decision was child-centered, and not just a parent’s decision to cohabit.3
This vetting and letting process explained some of our experience; the Consultant and I thoroughly discussed how we would stepparent each other’s children and coordinate care. We had to consider the potential impact of our decision on the well-being of our children. Clinicians have documented that stepsiblings tend to form instantaneous relationships with fluid boundaries, meaning their relationships can change form and roles with each other easily.2 Our blended family definitely began this way. Our children got along great; my sons always asked when the Consultant’s daughters were coming over. They wanted to plan activities we could all do together, such as camping or going to a movie. There were times our two youngest children would skip around the living room singing “I’m happy, I’m happy, I’m happy” over and over again to their own rhythm.
Although we passed each other’s “tests” and felt confident in our decision to move in together, we had other adults to consider in this vetting process: X, his ex-wife and mother of his daughters, and Y, who was my ex-husband and father of my boys. Children often hold onto the belief that their divorced parents will get back together,4 so we had to work through the kid’s ambivalent feelings about our decision to move in together. We communicated very clearly that their fantasies of parental reunification would never become reality, and discussed the exciting plans we had for the future of our blended family.
All in all, it took some time to weigh all these factors. By allowing the kids to be part of decisions regarding the remodeling the house, they were able to play a role in making my house theirs, and ensure that they all felt they had a place in it.
All characters and events appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, or real experiences is purely coincidental. To learn more about this series, please click here.
1Sassler, S. (2004). The process of entering into cohabiting unions. Journal of Marriage and Family, 66, 491-505.
2Rosenberg, E. B., & Hajal, F. (1985). Stepsibling relationships in remarried families. Social Casework, 66, 287- 292.
3Reid, M., & Golub, A. (2015). Vetting and letting: Cohabiting step-family formation processes in low-income Black families. Journal of Marriage & Family, 77, 1234-1249
4Kurdek, L. A. & Berg, B. (1987). Children’s beliefs about parental divorce scale: Psychometric characteristics and concurrent validity. Journal of Counseling and Clinical Psychology, 55, 712-718.
Interested in learning more about relationships? Click here for other topics on Science of Relationships. Like us on Facebook or follow us on Twitter to get our articles delivered directly to your NewsFeed. Learn more about our book and download it here.
Dr.  Jennifer Harman – Science of Relationships articles | Website/CV Dr. Harman’s research examines relationship behaviors that put people at-risk for physical and psychological health problems, such as how feelings and beliefs about risk (e.g., sexual risk taking) can be biased when in a relationship. She also studies the role of power on relationship commitment.
0 notes
foursprout-blog · 7 years ago
Text
Blending Homes: Making the Complex Decision with Kids
New Post has been published on http://foursprout.com/love/blending-homes-making-the-complex-decision-with-kids/
Blending Homes: Making the Complex Decision with Kids
By Jennifer Harman Ph.D. – Colorado State University
Adventures in Blending: Memoirs of Mixing Families
Before launching back into a blog about being a (step)parent in a blended family, it is important to first describe how and why we became that way. I will start with our decision to move in together, something I wrote a little about a few years ago. I neglected to share, however, just how we came to the decision, which was not an easy one to make.
While neither of us wanted to remarry any time soon, we were committed to investing more of our time and energy into our relationship. Research indicates that this is one of the main reasons people move in together if they don’t marry first.1 But, there were other things to consider.
About 10 months after I started dating the Consultant, maintaining two separate homes did not make financial sense. He was living in a townhouse that he had been renting after separating from his ex-wife (who will now be referred to as X). He travelled about 75% of the time for work and was home every other weekend in order to exercise his parenting time with his daughters. His townhome had essentially become a storage unit because we spent almost all our free time together, as a couple or with my kids and his. It did not make financial sense to retain it. Research indicates that another primary reason many cohabiting couples decide to move in together is for financial reasons1, so the importance of this factor in our decision-making made sense. However, this decision was nothing like when I considered moving into a rental apartment with a previous boyfriend when I was in college. I now owned a home, making moving not so easy. And, my home was too small for all seven of us to live in. Moving in together would require a significant and expensive remodeling of the basement to make enough bedrooms for everyone. In this sense, the decision required a greater investment than either of us have had to make so early on in a relationship.
To inform our decision to move in together, I tried to find research on how parents decide to cohabit and blend their families. I unfortunately did not find a lot of published research that was relevant to our situation. In one study of low-income Black families, where the mother was the only parent with a child, researchers found that partners engage in a gradual process of vetting and letting, meaning that a) the mothers vet their partners to determine whether they would be a good parent and compatible with their children, and at the same time b) the male partners would let the mothers do this vetting to hopefully pass their “test” and move in together. The vetting process itself is generally a gradual one, where the parent considered 1) whether the other partner is interested in parenting; 2) whether they foster/support a relationship with them and their child; 3) what the child’s opinion is; and 4) lessons learned from past relationships. This research indicated that the decision was child-centered, and not just a parent’s decision to cohabit.3
This vetting and letting process explained some of our experience; the Consultant and I thoroughly discussed how we would stepparent each other’s children and coordinate care. We had to consider the potential impact of our decision on the well-being of our children. Clinicians have documented that stepsiblings tend to form instantaneous relationships with fluid boundaries, meaning their relationships can change form and roles with each other easily.2 Our blended family definitely began this way. Our children got along great; my sons always asked when the Consultant’s daughters were coming over. They wanted to plan activities we could all do together, such as camping or going to a movie. There were times our two youngest children would skip around the living room singing “I’m happy, I’m happy, I’m happy” over and over again to their own rhythm.
Although we passed each other’s “tests” and felt confident in our decision to move in together, we had other adults to consider in this vetting process: X, his ex-wife and mother of his daughters, and Y, who was my ex-husband and father of my boys. Children often hold onto the belief that their divorced parents will get back together,4 so we had to work through the kid’s ambivalent feelings about our decision to move in together. We communicated very clearly that their fantasies of parental reunification would never become reality, and discussed the exciting plans we had for the future of our blended family.
All in all, it took some time to weigh all these factors. By allowing the kids to be part of decisions regarding the remodeling the house, they were able to play a role in making my house theirs, and ensure that they all felt they had a place in it.
All characters and events appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, or real experiences is purely coincidental. To learn more about this series, please click here.
1Sassler, S. (2004). The process of entering into cohabiting unions. Journal of Marriage and Family, 66, 491-505.
2Rosenberg, E. B., & Hajal, F. (1985). Stepsibling relationships in remarried families. Social Casework, 66, 287- 292.
3Reid, M., & Golub, A. (2015). Vetting and letting: Cohabiting step-family formation processes in low-income Black families. Journal of Marriage & Family, 77, 1234-1249
4Kurdek, L. A. & Berg, B. (1987). Children’s beliefs about parental divorce scale: Psychometric characteristics and concurrent validity. Journal of Counseling and Clinical Psychology, 55, 712-718.
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Dr.  Jennifer Harman – Science of Relationships articles | Website/CV Dr. Harman’s research examines relationship behaviors that put people at-risk for physical and psychological health problems, such as how feelings and beliefs about risk (e.g., sexual risk taking) can be biased when in a relationship. She also studies the role of power on relationship commitment.
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