#neither of us live or want to live in NYC. i am so tired | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

arsenicpanda · 3 years ago

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Hey! You seem to ship fairly similar Riverdale pairings to me, so do you have any fanfic ideas? Unfortunately, I have writers block and I don't have access to any maple mushrooms to get through this one.

So, I do have a few that don't fall under "I actually want to write this myself", you are correct, and I am a wordy bitch, so let's put this under a cut

-Jabitha + Jughead and Veronica friendship post-college au: so, we diverge from canon in 5x03. Betty still leaves Riverdale, but Veronica stays, and she and Jughead slowly bond over film, pretentious references, criminal fathers, and the whole getting cheated on thing. Maybe throw in Reggie and the other Serpents too if you want to. When Jughead becomes homeless (again), Veronica eventually notices and invites him to stay with her, and it's awkward at first, but then they get used to it. They develop a brother-sister bond. So, then when they go off to college, they keep in touch and stay friends. Their friendship keeps Jughead from being supes lonely at college, which means he stays and learns how to actually fucking write, so his book is actually good and not just successful, and also he doesn't take up drinking and drugs. And their friendship also keeps Veronica from dating assholes like Chad, so she never even gets close to that terrible marriage. But after they graduate, Jughead moves to NYC and they live together and she becomes the she-wolf of Wall Street and he becomes a successful author (genre undetermined) and maybe also journalist (look, I am just too fond of this headcanon, and most authors need second jobs anyway), and neither of them pine over their exes. Veronica can settle down with Reggie, Josie, Katy Keene, or someone else or no one else, but she is successful and happy. Also, Tabitha goes to school in NYC, settles down there, works a six-figure job for a while, and then opens a Pop's franchise. Now, it can go two ways from here:

Veronica and Tabitha become friends in college. Veronica keeps trying to set Jughead and Tabitha up with different people she knows to no success (she keeps trying to set both of them up with intimidating women (partial success and bi Tabitha 4 life) and himbos (zero success, they both prefer smart people, and also bi Jughead 4 life), until one day she's complaining about it to Katy Keene or Reggie or Josie or someone and the other person is like "V, why don't you just set them up with each other?" And she's like "ohhhhh" and she does, and they either hit it off pretty quickly or Tabitha is like "wait, are you the guy who mooched off my grandpa for years??" And he's like "pardon??" And she dislikes him until he proves himself/Veronica explains the situation (Jughead was neglected and poor and Pop helped him out). But then they get along and swap stories about Pop and fall into some weird investigation and fall in love, and Veronica is like "Victory is mine!"

Tabitha starts franchising Pop's in NYC, and when Jughead finds out he's like "sus, very sus" and goes there and eats and is like ".....this is actually pretty spot-on". And he becomes a regular (who actually orders food and pays because he can now), and Tabitha is supervising the diner for a time, and they start to chat on late nights when he's the only customer left but the diner isn't scheduled to close for another two hours, so Tabitha could use the company. Jughead doesn't realize she's Pop's granddaughter, and Tabitha doesn't realize he's her grandpa's favorite customer (and known moocher, in her opinion), and when they find out, they're both very shocked. They clear up the moocher thing and keep falling in love, and it's beautiful, and Veronica spends some her spare time prying into Jughead's newest late-night haunt and then teasing him about his crush on the owner and later "of course you fell for Pop's granddaughter, of course".

-Jabitha or bugabitha: Jughead cooks his tired (future?) girlfriend(s) dinner because yes, he does know how to cook because he loves food, so obviously he learned how to cook, and also he notices how much his girlfriend(s) work and wants to take care of them.

-Jabitha: Tabitha teaching Jughead how to cook some of Pop's recipes one late, slow night, and yes, they kiss at the end and/or when he makes her something on another late, slow night or slow afternoon or one morning when he opens and she shows up later

-Bugabitha: Tabitha needs help with a mystery/situation and goes to Betty and Jughead's PI agency to hire them (whether Betty and Jughead are together is up for grabs), and they are both charmed as fuck by her, and Tabitha tags along on the investigation for idk reasons, and they all fall in love and also solve a mystery

-Jabitha: smut/pwp of Jughead eating Tabitha out in Pop's while they're both still in uniform

-Jabith or Bugabith: like three students trip and fall into being way too invested in their teacher's/teachers' love life/lives and become convinced that something is going on between Jughead and Tabitha (and maybe also Betty) and start snooping while also documenting it on a popular "my English teacher is dating his other boss (and also my shop teacher)" or "my English teacher is two-timing his boss with my shop teacher" TikTok series that Jughead and Tabitha (and Betty) don't know about it until it goes viral after the kids finally get proof they're together / find out that it's not that Jughead's cheating with Betty and/or Tabitha's cheating with Betty but that the three of them are dating (see: that one fanart I commissioned of the Elite meme). Told from the kids' pov, very comedy-heavy (more comedy than ship fluff, tbh), includes replies to the TikToks and other social media stuff. Still considering writing this myself, but I don't know if I'm funny enough, tbh

-Bugabitha: how they do or do not celebrate holidays and birthdays, especially if the holidays involving shuffling between/avoiding their families and Betty recounts the disaster that was Jughead's birthday in 1x10, right down to (lovingly) roasting him for the "I'm weird, I'm a weirdo" speech (she will be kind by including how sweet he was in the diner, of course)

-Bugabitha: Alice finally finds out that Betty, Jughead, and Tabitha are all dating when Betty moves out of the Cooper house and into an apartment with Jughead and Tabitha. It includes something like the following exchange, Alice's last-ditch effort to convince Betty not to do this:

"Elizabeth, you cannot think that moving in with your ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend is wise."

"Mom, I'm not moving in with my ex and his girlfriend, I'm moving in with my boyfriend and my girlfriend, and you're making me late for lunch with them, bye." And then Betty leaves before Alice can respond

And then it's very important that Alice freaks out. If you want, you can also include FP and Gladys finding out (v chill) and Pop finding out (the most wholesome and supportive)

-Jabitha: Pop playing matchmaker with Jughead and Tabitha at any age, could be in an au where Tabitha comes to visit Pop every summer and Jughead kinda falls for her from afar as a teen, could be Jughead gets a job post-senior year at Pop’s during the summer when Tabitha is working there that summer, could be during the canon s5 or an au s5, could be any time, idk

- Jabitha, bughead, or bugabitha: Jughead's editor says that his novel needs a sex scene for whatever reason, idk, idc, but his POV character/narrator is a woman, and he's like "how do I write this without finding myself on one of those lists of 'men who can't write women?'" and bemoans this one day, and, idk, somehow his friend(s) Tabitha and/or Betty trip and fall into ~helping~ him by being very explicit and descriptive of how it feels while they bone

I think that’s it? Let’s say that’s it for now.

#asks #polaroid-fangirl13 #Riverdale #Riverdale season 5 #jabitha #bugabitha #fic ideas #fic ideas for sale #my thoughts on Riverdale let me show you them #I guess?

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gottlem · 4 years ago

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‘let me go’ but like angsty lemyanka maybe if lemon is moving back to nyc from toronto 💔

here u go ! the most angsty thing i have ever written and will probably ever write. i havent proofread it bc its late, im tired and i got a bit carried away and ended up writing 1.7k words so.... yeah. hope u like it ! <3

“let me go”

Lemon and Priyanka were clearly in love. Everyone knew it, everyone could see. Deep down, they both knew that they were, but no matter how many times they ended up in eachothers beds, it just never came up. Because if it did, well, Lemon’s not too sure what would happen. But it would be a lot, maybe too much. So she decided to stick with friends with benefits, nothing more, and it worked. For a while. Until she didn’t know what counted as overstepping anymore and calling Priyanka her friend just felt like a lie, even though it wasn’t, not really. But the ‘not really’ part is what fucked her up.

Lemon could only deal with so much. She had her walls, they were strong and tall and Priyanka was the only one who could get through, but they just didn’t feel like they were protecting her anymore. One day, she feared they would become a little too high, a little too unstable, and crush her. And she didn’t want Priyanka to have to deal with that.

She had already made the decision to move back to New York before she even admitted it to herself. She tended to listen to her brain over her heart - you’re less likely to get hurt that way. Somehow, this time round she couldn't quite tell which part she was listening to, but before she knew it, she was on the phone to her friend Jan asking for a place to stay.

Jan was more than happy, albeit a little concerned, for Lemon to live with her for a bit, claiming she could use the company and the help with rent. It was a win-win situation. Though, was Lemon winning? She wasn’t so sure, she was however very stubborn and once she had made her mind up, there was no going back. It would be nice to see her New York friends again, they hadn’t fallen out of touch but things are always harder when you’re so far apart. Besides, she needed a change of scenery, she missed walking the streets of the city that never sleeps.

The real reason behind her decision was Priyanka. She didn’t tell anyone about it but Jan, knowing she would need at least some form of support once the train arrived. She just couldn’t bear to keep up with whatever their current situation was, but also she wasn’t sure she had the courage to talk about her real feelings, so the only option she could see was to just run away. They could keep in contact, a couple of texts and maybe a bi-weekly phone call, and Lemon could find some other girl to fall in love with and then she would be over her.

She didn’t know how to be in love, and even if Priyanka could show her, she didn’t know if she was ready, if she was prepared. Because love was scary. Commitment, too. It’s not that Lemon was scared they would end up breaking up, she was scared that they would never break up. She was still young, and while some people long to find the love of their life early on, Lemon found herself staring at hers right in the face and it just felt too overwhelming.

She had started hinting to Priyanka that she missed her New York friends about a month before she planned to be leaving. Priyanka would suggest a week’s visit, and Lemon would just shrug it off. She just didn’t want it to come out of the blue when she finally told her that she'd be moving. And yet, all her hints didn’t stop Priyanka from being surprised.

It was dark out, and the pair lay not so comfortably in Lemon’s bed. It was too hot but neither had the energy to do anything about it, so they stayed there in silence, Lemon slowly building up the courage to speak.

“Hey, Pri?” She barely recognised her own voice, hating the crack that came out when she started speaking. Priyanka hummed in response, turning her head to face Lemon’s, eyes trained on the side of Lemon’s head as the yellow haired girl stared blankly at the ceiling. Eye contact would be too much, she didn’t want to see Priyanka’s face when she told her.

“I’m moving back to New York.”

Silence.

More silence.

Then, the shuffling of covers and creaks of floorboards as Priyanka grabbed her stuff and left. Somehow Lemon didn’t register any of it until the door had shut behind her. She closed her eyes and went to sleep.

The next day, Priyanka showed up at her door again, not too long after the sun rose. She looked tired, but Lemon said nothing because she probably looked the same.

“Sorry for just, leaving. I, uh, I was pissed off? I think?” Lemon’s jaw dropped.

“I’m sorry, you were pissed? At me? Priyanka, I get that I could have told you sooner but don’t pretend like telling you would have made me change my mind.”

“Wouldn’t it? Why are you moving anyway? When are you moving?”

“I miss my friends. I miss New York. I need a change, a get-away. I leave in two weeks”

“Jesus Christ,” Priyanka almost stomped past Lemon, sitting on the couch with an angry thud. “You’re telling me, you move to New York in two weeks, because you miss your friends, and I am only just finding out now? That is bullshit, Lemon”

Of all of the reactions Lemon anticipated, this was not one of them. They never argued. They always poked fun, never too serious, always having a good time. But this was new. Lemon didn’t even know how to argue with Priyanka. She didn’t even know how she was supposed to react to hearing her full name, and the way she said it too. Lemon couldn’t quite place a finger on how Priyanka was feeling, not used to not being able to read her like an open book, and she fucking hated it. But if Pri wanted to argue, then they were going to argue. Lemon didn’t make this decision on whim, she needed to do this, she needed to move, she didn’t have a choice.

“God, Priyanka, do I need to tell you everything? It’s not like I’m your fucking girlfriend!” She regretted saying it the second it came out of her mouth, no matter how true it was. They avoided the word ‘girlfriend’ like the plague, but apparently this was the line that needed to be crossed to have this discussion.

“No, you don’t need to tell me everything, but if you’re moving to New York? Yeah, maybe tell me. Maybe mention it before you have to leave in two weeks, for fucks sake, Lem”

She had stopped shouting, her voice sounding a bit more tired and defeated that angry. Things were complicated. Lemon thought running away would be the easiest option. And maybe she was right. Maybe the easiest option was still hard, but it was too late to change her mind now. The damage had been done, and now Priyanka knew that she would be getting on the train in two weeks time, and they didn’t know when they’d see eachother again after that.

They spent all day talking. Avoiding direct eye contact, getting goosebumps every time their hands accidentally touched. Unsaid ‘I love you’s floated around them, taunting them every time Lemon went over her excuse for moving. They hid behind sad smiles and even sadder eyes, but never managed to actually surface, not like they ever did anyways.

They pretended like nothing happened the next day. Instead, they opted to make the most of the last week and a bit left they had together, refusing to mention the fact that time was slipping, or how much they would be lost without each other. Lemon spent her nights on the phone to Jan, planning logistics, but mostly trying not to cry about how she was leaving the woman who was quite possibly her soulmate in another country for however long without telling her how she feels.

Her final day in Toronto came round after what felt like a short eternity. She was only slightly ready. Her yellow suitcase rolled next to her and she drowned out the noise of the train station with her earphones on full volume. A coffee warmed her shaking hands as she waited for the train she was obnoxiously early for. Not long past before she felt someone sit down next to her and place a hand on her shoulder, startling her from the daze she had managed to force herself into.

Of fucking course it was Priyanka. And of course she was looking at Lemon with tears threatening to shed. Lemon placed her hand in Priyanka’s after taking out her earphones, and gave it a small squeeze.

“I don’t want you to go” Lemon wished she could kiss her and say she didn’t want to go either. But she couldn't because she would be lying. She wanted to go. She loved Priyanka, and Priyanka loved her. They both knew it, without it being said. But Lemon just wasn’t ready.

“I know. I’ll miss you” Priyanka shook her head and tears began to fall down her cheeks, one by one then all at once.

“God, Lem, what went wrong? Do I have to fucking beg you to stay or something? I don’t understand why you have to move all the way to New York, I don’t know what I’m even supposed to do without you here”

Lemon refused to cry. She absolutely refused. When she felt the back of her eyes stinging with tears, she simply shook her head and pushed them back. Not now. Not in front of Pri.

She took her other hand, and looked Priyanka in the eyes, inching in closer and closer.

“Pri, I’m going, and it’s gonna be okay. I’m gonna be fine, and you’re gonna be fine, okay love? It’s time to just… let me go.”

Lemon released her hands and stood up, the action followed by Priyanka, who gave her a bone crushing hug, still crying. When she finally let go, she gave her a small kiss on the top of her head, and Lemon had to hold back her tears for the millionth time within the past five minutes. They looked at each other for just a moment, once again opting to not say anything, despite it being their final chance. Lemon gave a small nod, as if in response to the silence, before turning away and walking to her platform. She didn’t look behind her. And if she stopped holding back her waterfall of tears the second she faced the other way, she could hide that from Priyanka too.

#lemyanka #anon #lemon🍋#lemongivesyoulife #priyanka love #im sorry its unresolved #normally i kinda hate angst bc im too messed up already for that shit #but i think now i have learned to love it #however if anyone maybe wants a pt2 #i will be happy to write #bc this is practically an entire fic #i got pretty carried away

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writingjoycebyers · 4 years ago

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Could you write a small drabble about jopper being protective of eachother 🥺

Joyce Byers x Jim Hopper - Friend, old friend - a song fic

(this fic is based on the prompt above (I hope this counts as protective) and the song slow mover by Angie McMahon. Comments and reblogs make my writing heart go boom boom - you know how it works. love feedback and suggestion on how to do it better. or ideas. or thoughts. or whatever <3)

Warnings: contains mature topics like a hint of cheating, alcohol consumption, very light nsfw (superficial) and angst. 18+ as always

Friend, old friend, it's 4 AM

What are we doing in the street?

They walk through the empty streets of Hawkins, a cold february night in 1969, snow falling onto them, and they don‘t even notice the small, cold drops on their heads, shoulders and hands - they‘re far too gone to notice, too drunk to freeze and too sober to dance in the snow the way they used to when they were kids in Jim‘s parents backyard. They‘d left the bar an hour ago, to roam the empty streets at night, talking and walking like old friends do.

„Yeah, he‘s with my mother tonight. Jon loves it there.“, Joyce adds as Jim asks her where she‘s left her son - a reasonable question considering Joyce seemed to have time and space to get wasted all on her own on a saturday night. „She lets him have chocolate before dinner and all.“

„And...“, Jim adds, unable to finish his questioning words when Joyce interrupts him. „I‘ve got no clue, and I kind of don‘t want to know.“, Joyce finishes his sentence, anticipating the question underlying the small word „and“ and the tone of her friend‘s voice. No clue, he might aswell be screwing some girl in her very own wedding bed. Lonnie.

„Joyce, does he even care for the kid?“, Hopper suddenly blurts out, without warning, and boy — he does sound angry. He stops, and grabs her by the shoulders. It‘s a sudden move for him, impulsive and way more serious than she had experienced him at the bar, in their heavy, drunken laughter above the tears behind her brown eyes.

„He... even asked me if I want to try for another one.“, Joyce confessed, a whisper in the cold as she tried to avoid locking eyes with Jim. She had become bad at eye contact lately. Her hand found his on her shoulder. He had not actually asked, had rather joked around that if they tried for another boy, then maybe he‘d finally have a kid that liked what he‘d call boys stuff. Joyce swallowed hard. Lonnie didn‘t want to make another baby for love. No, he was being selfish. And still that idea had sparked a tiny bit of hope inside of her, a hope that he‘d maybe change? Change for the sake of another kid? But she couldn‘t tell Hopper. So she told him some kind of half hearted truth.

„Are you hungry?“, she suddenly asked as his grip on her shoulders began to losen. She nodded into the direction of a 24 hour diner, the neon lights behind them illuminating his silhouette from behind. She loved his silhouette.

I don't want to buy fried chicken

I wish that I was going to sleep

„Nah...I just... Joyce.“, he mumbled, his articulation heavy and sloppy from the drinks he had drowned. The „Joyce“ said it all. He knew she was trying to distract him, knew she did not want to talk about Lonnie, that she did not want to stay with that man and neither would want to leave him. He‘d take her with him, he thinks, take her with him into his small apartment in NYC, around the corner of his police training station, and hold her tight every night in his way too small bed, and never let go again. He‘d done that once too often already. But then, his mind flashes to the woman he‘s dating, Diane, tall and blonde, a woman he hasn‘t thought of much during his visit home, if he was honest with himself. A small bundle of guilt starts to form in his gut, and he isn‘t sure if he‘s sick from the alcohol, or if it really is his conscience.

„Just tired.“, he mumbles then, and none of his thoughts were said.

So they start to make their way towards Jim‘s parents‘ house, the way they had done it so often as teenagers just a couple of years ago. A lifetime ago. Joyce keeps on walking next to him although she lives on the opposite side of town now, that small house on the edge of the woods. Where was home?

Quietly she follows Jim up to the corner of the street, because walking next to him feels a lot like home to her, so familar with his warmth, his unique scent, his height towering above her. He was home, after all.

They stop by the STOP-sign, a flashing one that stands across the streets of Jim‘s birth place, and as if the stop sign was meant for them, they don‘t go any further. It‘s quiet, a winter night, and Joyce feels like she can hear the snow flakes falling. Jim‘s presence feels warm, and life feels cold - and she does not know where to go. She‘s got a house to live in, but no home to go to sleep at. No peace within her own four walls.

„So, when are you heading back to the city?“, she asks shyly after some moments of silence.

„Tomorrow night.“, he replies, staring down on the floor, and then back up to the sign as a car goes by and it starts blinking.

„So.. last night here, huh?“, Joyce whispers, her face turned to the side because for some reason, for some damn reason she can‘t look him in the eye again.

The silence gets louder, the blinking feels harsher, the cold gets colder. She wraps her arms around herself as she feels the dizziness of the alcohol get washed away by the bleak midwinter air and her thoughts. The last night - their last chance?

Her thoughts drift off as she feels his gaze on her, feels him get closer and wrap his arms around her. They stand there in a deep, intimate hug and she asks herself what if - what if she was married to him, what if the house on the other side of the street was theirs, their home? What if they entered the living room, warmed themselves up with a deep, long kiss? God, she wanted to kiss him. His breath is warming the side of her face while he still hugged her, and she turns her head a bit, looking up. The last time they had been this close to kissing had been another lifetime ago. His eyes look dark and warm in contrast to the cold wind around them.

„You wanna come inside with me?“, he suddenly suggests. She answers with a small nod.

And I don't want to kiss you

Underneath that flashing sign

They enter his parents‘ place and although it is huge and empty, it is welcoming and cozy. The furniture hasn‘t changed. The atmosphere hasn‘t changed. There‘s a small light on the table by the sofa, and the room looks so large without Jim‘s family in it. She looks at him, and he looks sad. „It is okay to miss them.“, she whispers softly, her small hand on his back as they stand in the middle of the living room. The tension they had shared under the flashing light is gone for a second. They‘re old friends again. She rubs his back, and feels like she was wrong, feels as if she had interpreted it all the wrong way. Maybe he needed a friend, not a lover. Or maybe he needed time?

She can sense his tension underneath her hand, and she‘s glad she can be close to him in some way, somehow. Joyce looks around the familiar room, the old clock on the wall telling her the night might soon be coming to an end, and she gets sad herself. Their last chance - gone?

But then, suddenly, Jim wakes up from his short, griefing trance. Without a warning he pulls her close by the hand that had just comforted him, and as he leans down his lips find hers. There‘s no time to lose. They kiss and it feels both wrong and right, both hot and cold. She‘s overwhelmed by the passion behind his kiss, the force behind his touch as he scoops her up into his arms and her legs wrap around his waist like they belong there. „Jim...slow down. I want to feel this.“, she suddenly whispers. Suddenly, the night feels still young as he takes her by the hand and they walk up the stairs to his childhood bedroom

What's the hurry? We're not ready

We've got plenty of time

Some time later, minutes, hours, moments, they‘re a mess of limbs and words and kisses and Joyce could swear to God she has never felt like this before. He‘s rushed, but gentle, as if he‘s trying to make up for the lost time, and she‘s the other side of the magnet, slow and sensual and they make the perfect mixture. It takes a bit of talking, a bit of trust, and then they arrive - arrive at home.

For the rest of the night, Jim holds her tight in his way too small bed for once and he never wants to let her go again. They look into each other‘s eyes as they lay entangled, none of them daring to losen the grip, and Joyce feels tired, but she does not want to miss a second of this. Their last chance, remember?

„Get some sleep.“, he murmurs with a soft kiss onto the top of her head. „I‘m not leaving your side tonight.“, he adds as he strokes her hair, caresses it gently, stroking away the thoughts of guilt that come creeping up in Joyce‘s mind as she lays in the arms of another man, indulging in the afterglow of a forbidden rush of passion and confusion. What about him, she thinks, is there someone he should feel guilty for now?

Joyce couldn‘t know what the future would hold for him, a wife, a marriage and a daughter. She could only guess. Neither could she know what the future would hold for her, that she would indeed try for another baby with Lonnie and that, in two years or three, she‘d sometimes find herself lying awake late at night, counting the weeks between their little adventure and her blood results from the doctor‘s pregnancy test. It‘d be wishful thinking, maybe, that she wanted her second son to be more like Hopper than Lonnie. Wishful thinking, and a stupid, unprotected adventure.

Maybe you will get married

Maybe fall in love

Could you make me fall asleep

When you're holding me?

Try set me on fire

The morning after, Joyce awakes with her head on his chest and his arms neatly placed around his torso. Jim is fast asleep. Memories of the night come flashing back in front of her inner eye. She‘s Lonnie Byers wife. She is Lonnie Byers god damn wife in another man‘s bed. And she‘d always thought she was better than Lonnie.

Quietly, she leaves the bed and tiptoes to her clothes lying on the floor on the other side of the room. For the first time, she catches a glance of Jim‘s old room. Nothing has changed. She gets dressed as silently as possible, staring at a picture on the wall - him and her during Prom Night, in front of the Gym. She should have known earlier that this was more than friendship. She had known earlier, actually, and they had always danced around it, danced like it was prom night - until yesterday.

There's someone else but I twist all of

His words and he twists mine

At last, Joyce puts on her jacket, slips into her shoes and opens the old wooden door as carefully as she can. One last look towards the bed with a peacefully sleeping Jim in it, and she‘s out the door. He had promised last night he wouldn‘t leave her side, but this was a promise she herself could not make. In this moment, she felt as if they had to go backt to the separate paths they had chosen at some point, whether they were right or wrong, drunk or sober.

She waves him goodbye as the front door of Jim‘s parent‘s house closes behind her. A wave he doesn’t see.

Joyce would never return to that place again — She‘d not return home for more than 10 years after that. And when she, in 1983, finally does return home, entering the Chief of Police‘s office one morning, she‘ll be too panicked to notice that it‘s home, too broken to see that he‘s still there beneath the flashing sign. Waiting.

So I'll have to let him go

We sometimes fit, but we always lie

And he thinks we could make it work

But only when he's drunk

You think you could help me swim

But I've already sunk

_____________

Thanks for reading. Please drop me a line if you‘ve got thoughts on this. Or if you wanna chat about joyce/st/jopper. My inbox is open.<3

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spaceorphan18 · 4 years ago

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What do you think about Kurt and Blaine’s chemistry in season 5? for some reason I’ve always felt like it was really off in the New York arc. I’m not sure whether it was the fact that the writers were only giving Klaine tension instead of happy moments or whether it was due to Darren/Chris, or if I’m just imagining it. Kurt just definitely seemed so cold during that period of time.

You know, I kinda figured I’d get this question eventually, lol.

So - let’s talk about the New York Arc and Advanced Television Production.

This question has /layers/ lol.

For a simple answer, so you can check out if you’d like, I think their chemistry was fine, I think production was super rushed and flimsy at points, and I don’t really think Chris or Darren had anything to do what you might feel is /off/ but since actors are the face of the show, they get the brunt of the feedback.

For a longer answer (and I mean long) follow under the cut!

So, among being an avid fan of film production where I’ve picked up a lot of the industry knowledge (to which I’m not very -- just a fan) I’ve been listening a lot to The Office Ladies podcast, and they’ve been bringing some stuff up that I think is important to remember about film and tv production. There are a lot of parts that go into it. There’s the writer’s intentions, the director’s vision, the editor’s cut, the producer’s needs, and the actor’s performances. And between those things - the show becomes what it is.

1. The writing - The writing of Klaine in the New York Arc makes more sense when you look at the thing as a whole within context. Kurt and Blaine were headed down a path towards a break up. Kurt felt like he was losing his individuality and wasn’t communicating that well to Blaine, there were also some unresolved issues due to the previous break up, and the fact that Kurt was so stubborn on his stance about marriage. Meanwhile, Blaine was so insecure, he depended on his relationship to mend those feelings, and tried to preserve that perfect feeling instead admitting that he needed help and the relationship wasn’t perfect.

I’m oversimplifying, there are a lot more complex parts going on but neither of them were truly happy despite them feeling grown up adults in the city of their dreams. The point being that they needed some time apart to grow up and mature a little to understand what being in an adult relationship means (explored more in season 6 after the break up).

One of the problems, in general, with the writing is that it was so focused on the more dramatic moments of the Klaine story, we didn’t get to see much happy down time or times when they did work better. This is a fault of Glee in general being a story about big moments and broad brushstrokes rather than zeroing in on the nuances of a complex relationship.

2. The direction - believe it or not, the actors are kind of vessels for what production needs them to be. Chris and Darren are both professionals (I’ll get to them in a minute) and if the director wanted more angst he’d give them another take. Ultimately - the director makes the call whether or not he’s happy with how the scene is playing out. If the directors weren’t happy with Chris or Darren’s performance, they would have done it over again.

3. Editing - so, I’ve studied Glee long enough as an artform to now have paid attention to things like editing. And let me say this -- I have long had issues with the way this show is edited. I’ll have to do a separate post on it if you really want it, but let’s say -- how you put together a TV show from various takes makes a huge difference. And by season five, the editing was choppy and often misleading. Part of it is because the scripts weren’t great. Part of it is because at this point I think they were under pressure to get things done in a short amount of time. And part of it is, I believe, by season 5, most of production didn’t have their hearts invested as much as they used to.

This goes and in hand with...

4. General production -- I do think this context is important. A beloved member of their family - Cory Monteith - had just passed away. That is /hard/. It’s hard to work around, it’s hard to write around, it’s hard to produce a show when someone you care for just isn’t there anymore. On top of that - Glee was not as popular as it once was. They were probably getting pressure from the network to do the show with less money, which meant less time to do all the normal production stuff -- and because glee had to incorporate things like musical performances, they were always pressed for time, which can cause sloppy production values.

5. Notes from the Network - there are always some -- I have no idea what they were, and what the network insisted they had to change, but the network always hand some kind of hand in shaping the show for better or worse.

6. Chris and Darren -- okay, let’s talk about this, even though I’m a little over this one, cause I’m tired of the two of them getting blamed for things - especially in season 5.

First of all, I don’t know either of them personally. And I think it’s unfair to speak for them. Unless they come out and say specifically how they felt about that time period, I would say take this analysis with a grain of salt.

No. I don’t think Chris was checked out. I’ve often said that Chris’s time on Glee is a lot like going to college. Sometimes it can be the best times! Sometimes it can be the worst. I know when I finished, I just wanted it to be done and over so I could move on with my life. I do think Chris was tired of certain aspects of the show -- I think he was tired of having to grow up on camera and in the media. I think he was tired of people constantly thinking he was dating his costar when he (clearly) was not. And both he and Darren were vocal about not really wanting Kurt and Blaine to get married (or being boring in the background of scenes).

Do I think he hated his job? No. Do I think he hated Klaine? No(ish). I think he wished Kurt had his own story line, and I do think both he and Darren actually enjoyed the heavier emotional stuff they were getting by the time season 5 came around. I also think that Chris does not want to be known as Kurt nor as one half of a popular TV couple because it impedes on his individuality. And I also think Chris was ready to move onto other things in his life.

Do I think that bleed into the show? No, I really do not. I think Chris knew how the season was going to play out - and played it accordingly.

(As an aside - I want to point out that Kurt during the NYC Arc is generally unhappy with more than just Blaine. And in fact, I’d argue, he’s more irritated with Rachel at any given point than he is with Blaine. Go watch Old Dogs New Tricks again -- he could have stuck it to Darren/Blaine, he did not. He stuck it to Lea. But that’s a completely different topic for later.)

Meanwhile, Darren! So, I’m going to preface this by saying -- I love Darren, I really do, and under good circumstances, he can be a great actor. And he has some just stellar moments in the NYC Arc. He also has some not so great ones, too - and out of the two of them Darren wavers in acting quality during this time period. I promise, it’s not a slam on Darren (I do love him!) but there’s some over-acting (and a little underacting) that’s going on, which doesn’t help much.

Also, I want to point out, that a lot of issues Chris was vocal about concerning Klaine, Darren had as well, he was just better about being diplomatic to the fans about it. He also wasn’t (as) bothered as Chris was about the whole tinhat thing (unless it involved verbally assaulting Mia, which then he put his foot down - yes that happened.)

So.... let’s talk a little about the episodes in NYC Arc and hit up some of the problem points, shall we?

New New York

The biggest issue people always seem to have with this one is the performance of You Make Me Feel So Young - which is off putting out of context. They’re supposed to be happily living together, right?? What’s going on?? Well, we’re a good nine months after Blaine moved in, it’s the morning after the bedbug scare where they were up half the night, and Kurt is a person who just needs his space and they’re living in a place that doesn’t have any walls. On top of that - Blaine is pushing a little hard on his fantasy of wanting to be an old married couple already. I’m not surprised Kurt isn’t all roses and daisies about it.

Am I sad we didn’t get to see the first few months of sunshine and rainbows? Yes absolutely! They definitely allude to the fact that they’re having a lot of sex -- and I’m sure there were a ton of sexy times in the beginning. But living in one room with five-ish other people is not fun, especially for someone who needs alone time and space to recharge. Or someone who just wants to have sexy times with his fiance and can’t because roommates.

No, You Make Me Feel So Young isn’t the most feels-y, but I’ll also argue that Kurt isn’t the most checked out either. There are moments in there where Kurt is genuinely happy and having fun messing around with Blaine. And the point of the song is that they are young and shouldn’t be singing that dumb-ass song about being old marrieds anyway.

The other thing is the whole Blaine moving out stuff. Which... is entirely because it propels the plot of everything else going on, not because logic. I do not really believe any young, engaged couple wouldn’t kick their friends out to their other friends house if that was an option so they could be together. But the show needed Kurt and Rachel to remain living together so Kurt could continue to be Rachel’s emotional prop. Whatever. And they wanted to set up the ending where Blaine moved back in again as a full circle moment (even though they end up breaking up again, lol I’ll get to it.)

So writing nonsense aside, I think they handled the important scene at the end of the episode really, really well. It’s one of my favorite Klaine scenes because it’s a time when Kurt actually expresses what’s in his heart - that he’s conflicted because he’s figuring out that love is not all you need to make a relationship work and he doesn’t know how to navigate that -- or if ultimately, the relationship is what he wants. But, it is, and his saying that his relationship with Blaine is one of the most precious things in his life is one of the strongest affirmations about anything that Kurt ever gives. Happy or not happy in that moment, Kurt values his relationship with Blaine above everything - and will protect what he thinks the relationship means at all costs -- even if it means breaking his own heart in the process.

Bash

This episode is a mess, and the weakest written episode of the arc. It’s essentially two very different plot lines unevenly stapled together. Kurt being bashed doesn’t get enough screen time, and it ends up being a morality tale for Rachel rather than delving into the impact it has on the actual gay members of the group. Blaine’s POV is very limited, which is a shame because there’s an entire story there they really should have told.

I’m using the still above to show that, yes, as awkward as the set up the scene above is - Kurt’s happy to see Blaine when he enters.

Why is Kurt so cold during the scene where they lay flowers at the dude’s attack scene? I don’t think he is? I think he’s recovering from getting the shit beaten out of him, and I’m under the impression that they guy actually died in the initial shooting of the scene and they changed it in post to have him live. On top of that - Blaine’s feeling clingy because he almost lost the person whom his entire self worth is relying on at the moment.

Tested

Tested is super, super complicated, and I’m just not going to rehash it here... again. Please read my meta on this one - I do go incredibly in depth on it.

I will say this -- Tested is an episode that is densely packed, and relies on subtext to tell a lot of its story. While I love this episode, the episode needed to be 100% focused on Klaine to really do the stories they were telling justice, and a lot of it is up to interpretation.

The biggest push back I always get on this one is the ending, and Kurt seeming ‘cold’ here. And I’ll say this -- You can love a person deeply, and still be as affirming as you can, and still be upset about how they were treating you. You can be sympathetic to their plights and frustrated that these conversations keep having to be had. Blaine’s insecurities are feeling heavy to Kurt -- that is a part of being in a relationship, that is a part of being in an adult relationship. Your prince and knight in shining armor is going to eventually be a human being with problems that you can’t always solve. And sometimes that is tiring - no matter how much you love a person.

Opening Night

There is zero Klaine in this episode - because it’s Rachel’s episode, and Kurt was needed as the gay best friend emotional prop. Do I think there was an missed opportunity to show Kurt and Blaine happily dancing together at the club? I do! But I don’t think it has anything to do with any interpretation of their characters. I think they told the actors to go have fun - and they did.

The Back Up Plan

I don’t necessarily have any major faults with this episode, nor have I heard much push back against it? Out of all of the episodes - this is the one where I do have some minor quibbles with acting, some of it being from Darren not clicking Blaine on for ten seconds or so at the beginning, and some of it from Chris being over-the-top in a few places, but nothing that fully takes me out of it. Neither of them are being different in scenes with each other than they are in scenes with other people. And there are some really solid Klaine moments in the episode itself.

Old Dogs, New Tricks

AKA The one that Chris wrote. Here’s my thing... there isn’t very much Blaine in this episode (wisely so). I think a) Chris wanted to write Kurt a story line that didn’t involve Blaine so Kurt could have a story line that didn’t have Blaine -- and that’s fine and valid and b) I don’t think he wanted the pressure of writing for Blaine, so wisely didn’t have him in it much.

He wrote a very sweet Klaine moment that incorporated the overall story. I have no complaints. And I’ll add -- Chris (purposely so I assume) directed all the passive-aggressive writer-y things towards Rachel. I do believe if he ultimately was having issues with Darren (or Blaine) he would have had zero compulsion about bringing that into the script.

The Untitled Rachel Berry Project

Do people have issues with this one? -- I really only have one, and that’s the end of the scene referenced above with the still. And it’s a good example of how I think production effects story. This is a beautiful scene, until the last few beats. We have this big emotional moment for Klaine -- and then it’s capped with a really dumb joke about Blaine being the luckiest guy in the world and a throwaway, badly edited kiss (scored to some upbeat, tacky scoring). If it were me - I’d let the emotion of the scene continue, let the boys stay on the steps, let them kiss in an emotionally driven moment, and then they can go run up stairs to have sex and not make a joke about being turned on by birds. The last ‘joke’ can be left on the cutting room floor because it’s really not needed. But Glee being a ‘comedy’ felt the need to cap the moment before the break with a joke because it’s Glee.

See what I mean? That’s not Chris or Darren’s fault. That��s one part writing, one part directing/editing, and one part my opinion of it not working.

Otherwise, I really don’t have issues with this particular episode.

I’ll say this though -- a) Kurt is incredibly happy to have Blaine move back in and that means something. b) the reason this is left on such an upbeat note, and not necessarily foreboding of what’s coming next season is that there was a real chance they weren’t getting a next season -- and they wanted to make sure the characters ended in happy places in case this was the series finale. c) we were shortchanged two episodes from this season -- who knows what more they could have developed if the had had more time.

*****

I don’t know if any of this helps (or if any of my additional meta helps) but I suppose I’ll say this -- I’ve meta’d these episodes so much that I see the cracks in the production, but I don’t really take issue with them anymore. I like the story being told, and all things considered, I don’t think it’s all that bad.

I think one thing to keep in mind is how Glee tells stories in general. Are the couples happy? Well, then they’re in the background not doing anything. Are they having conflict? Yes - well that’s front and center. Also, keep in mind that Glee prefers telling stories about couples getting together more than them being together (or breaking up). We start season 6 after the break up, and even season 4′s break up happens at the beginning of the season - why? Cause Glee loves writing angst-y couples who eventually get together in a big moment.

And I’ll add to that -- did you notice that Sam and Mercedes go through a similar arc as Klaine during the NYC arc? No really - do you know why Mercedes breaks it off with Sam? Because their lives are just in different places and she wants to preserve her good feelings for Sam -- and that’s very similar to Kurt’s reasons at the beginning of season 6.

No - this season isn’t happy, flirtiness of Kurt in season 2 (and I’ll argue that was Kurt’s story - not Blaine’s, and it’s also somewhat flimsy in structure when considering the love story aspect of it). It’s not the background moments of season 3 - because they’re together, and there’s not a classroom to be backgrounds of. (Could they have done a little more in the group scenes? Sure - but it’s not that bad.) It’s not the angst fest of seasons 4 and 6. And not helping is the fact that the first half of season 5 really had very little Klaine development at all.

so, back to the beginning, I feel like the story they wanted to tell was about Klaine having conflict and resolving said conflict, and getting them to grow into an adult relationship. Do I wish there were more happier times to balance that out? Of course I do! Do I feel like there’s a lack of chemistry or that Chris and/or Darren are to blame? Absolutely not. Hope this helps a little Nonny - and feel free to ask me about specific moments if you need to <3

#Anonymous #that's how s.o. sees it #what I did instead of finishing chap 10 #oops #there's more discussion in my finding kh meta - please go check that out too for more details on the episodes

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books4eva180 · 4 years ago

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Hello guys I am here to post a sneak peak for Ch 5 for my human pregnancy au story......

A Blonde, A Brit, and A Baby

Caroline Forbes life is right on schedule for her Twenty-Year plan that she created at 16 years old: at 23 years old she is a junior editor at a magazine company in NYC and she has fantastic friends; one of whom is about to get to married. Life couldn't be more perfect or at least that was until she slept with a British asshole. What was only supposed to be a one night stand has turned into a life changing night because Caroline is now pregnant.

Klaus Mikaelson has always enjoyed the simple things in life. Bourbon, art, and an endless stream of girls who are more than willing to fall into his bed. This all changes when he is forced to move to America to join his father's law company and he isn't even really his father. Then to make matters worse he ends up sleeping with a girl who ends up pregnant.

Forced together in a situation that neither of them could have planned for will feelings blossom (yes they definitely will) Will Caroline be able to handle this life changing event? Will Klaus be able to escape the demons from his past? Will the both of them be able to provide a happy and healthy home for their baby?

If you haven't read it beware of spoilers down below! Read the other four chapters on Ao3 using this link

Expect the rest of Ch 5 later this week! It would have been up last week but I was sick and couldn't write. Enjoy

“Hey guys do you think you could maybe tone it down a bit? I’m tired and I have had a really, really long day and I just want to take a nap so I can be well rested for tomorrow because now that I am officially going to have to do this alone tomorrow I’m going to go start looking at adoption agencies so I can hopefully find a great home for this baby before they’re born.”

At the end of this statement she finds everybody in the room staring at her as if she had grown a second head, brow furrowing she asks her friends “What? Did I say something wrong?”

Elena being the first one to speak says “No it’s not that it’s just that you basically said that you were going to give the baby up for adoption.”

“Oh” Caroline replies simply, unsure of what else to say, seeing that they want her to elaborate Caroline explains herself, albeit somewhat reluctantly “I know for days I have been saying that I was unsure what I was going to do going forward and that was true but after that taxi ride home alls I could think about was how that I was going to be doing this utterly and completely alone and that was just me thinking about the next eight or so months. I mean if I kept this baby that would mean doing it alone for the rest of my life and I saw how hard rasing me by herself was on my mom and I just feel that they deserve better than that. Even if it means giving them to another family; I mean I live in apartment for godsakes where you literally can not take the elevator without risk of death that I can just afford half of! Since that’s the case how am I going properly raise a child? I mean the more I think about adoption the more sense it makes; my job at the magazine company won’t be affected terribly, I won’t have to deal with he shall who must not be named with anything else other than wedding stuff, and my baby will have a better life than they would have with me.” By the time Caroline finishes her little speech she can feel tears once again to start to prick the corners of her eyes as her friends and asks with a hint of fear in her voice “Are you guys mad at me?”

This time Enzo is the first one to speak up “Jesus christ Caroline what is it with you and believing everybody will be mad at you for things that you either have no control over or that are incredibly mature and understandable decision for someone your age. Right?”

“Yeah Care we just want to make sure you want to do this and aren’t making this as a split second decision.” Bonnie says piping up.

“I’m sure guys” Caroline relies shakily, even not fully believing herself “I just feel like this is the best path for everybody involved. Okay?” When her friends all nod slowly Caroline lets out a deep, long breath and turns to address Elena “Hey Lena I was wondering if you set me up for an OBGYN appointment so I can get my first ultrasound?”

A bit taken aback Elena quickly replies “Um yeah sure. Are you sure ready for this?”

“What choice do I have?”

#klaroline #klaus x caroline #caroline forbes #klaus mikaelson #tvd fandom

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stilldani24 · 5 years ago

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You Are Here 📍 - A Bucky x Reader Fanfiction - 38 Planes/Blankets and Bedding/28 Hours/Wherever We Are

Description: On September 11th, 2001, the world changed forever. During the horrors in New York City, planes all over the world bound for the United States were promptly landed at the nearest airport. For a small town of nine thousand in Newfoundland, Canada, thirty-eight planes were grounded at the Gander Airport. As a Gander native, you were going about your normal day. For Bucky Barnes, a Brooklyn native, landing in this backwater Canadian town while terror was happening back home was a whole new adventure in it of itself. While this will be based on Come From Away, it is also a completely true story.

Warnings: This fic deals with the events surrounding September 11th, 2001.

Word Count: 1815

A/N: Hope (not van Dyne) is based on @captainscanadian

PROLOGUE//MASTERLIST//

10:02 AM, Tuesday, September 11th, 2001

“How many planes are there now?” you asked as you approached the town’s constable, Clint Barton, while looking at the tarmac. The planes had been touching down all morning, constantly and at an eerie schedule. Every twenty minutes or so, the roar of a 747 erupted over the town as another plane came in for landing.

“Seventeen,” Clint replied, running his fingers through his hair with a heavy sigh. “Most of them are jumbos, eh. They have two, three hundred people on the average each. Holy shit.”

You look both ways across Airport Boulevard, the main road through town and leading up to the seemingly abandoned airport. Lined up, both ways, are cars. The cars of everyone in town, surrounding towns, and even news vans. They were backed up all the way to the Shoppers, crowding around the McDonald’s, and the only other constable was routing traffic as to leave room for when the plane people would be evacuated from the planes. No one knew how soon that would be, if at all, but the town was at a standstill. Stores were closed, kids were sent home from school, and nearly everyone was watching either the news or the planes touching down.

“Wanda’s getting the school ready with Hope and Maria,” you then told him, interrupted by the roar of another plane touched down. Eighteen. “Natasha Romanoff from the news is wanting to interview you about the planes in about fifteen minutes and Tony is announcing a state of emergency soon, too.”

Clint chuckled now, shaking his head as he turned his back to the airport. “How the hell did you get yourself into this? I assumed you were gonna be helpin’ at the school there, eh?”

You shrugged, tucking your hands into the back pockets of your jeans. “I needed to do something other than watchin’ the news. Hope has the tubes at the school with different news channels and I needed to stop lookin’ at those images. Can’t even imagine what they’re going through right now.”

Clint clapped you on the shoulder, giving you a welcoming smile. “We don’t have time to worry about it, kiddo. We have nearly four thousand people on those planes achin’ to get off and we can’t let them until we’re ready. Go around town and ask what different people need and if locals are willin’ to take some guests.”

You did just that, first heading back to the school to help with cots and getting the cafeteria set up for a day full of cooking, then ran down to the Baptist church to ask what they needed, then down to the Lions Club. Every public space that wasn’t a store was being converted into a shelter. The Shoppers Drug Mart was willing to give anything off the shelves, Dr. O’Brian from another pharmacy down the road was ready to fill any emergency prescriptions as needed, and the town school buses were willing to end their strike for the time being to transport passengers from the planes to the shelters when the time came. After a couple hours, you returned to the airport to see Natasha interviewing different locals. Pepper Potts, who ran the SPCA and wife to the mayor, was giving an interview as you ran up.

“On a normal day, we get half a dozen flights. Now, we already got three times as many landing in such little time…that’s a lot of noise. You can smell the fuel,” she was saying as yet another plane touched down. Clint was looking at the tarmac yet again, counting up the planes. The lights in the control tower had gone out now, the air control not in the tower, signifying that no more planes were to be coming in.

Clint’s eyes widened now, dropping his hands to his sides where they once rested on his hips. “Jesus…we got thirty-eight planes. With two hundred people on the average…”

“Christ,” you cursed, running up to Natasha now as she was too just staring at the tarmac. “Nat, c’mon. You have to make an emergency broadcast, people all over town need things if we’re gonna play host to these come from away’s, yeah? Clint, go down to the Shoppers and help clearing out those shelves. Tony’s there loading up trucks to take to the school. We need to get going.”

Clint nodded, running back to his cruiser and heading down Airport Boulevard to get to the Shoppers. The road had narrowed so only one car was allowed through, since cars were lined up on either side to watch the planes, so it was a sight to see. You then handed Natasha a list of what different people needed to be able to operate as a shelter, and she quickly turned back to the camera man.

“11:53 AM, Tuesday, September 11th, 2001. Live from the Gander Airport. Any available community buildings will be converted into shelters. With thousands of passengers arriving at any minute, the town is asking for help with…well, anything you can do,” she spoke to the camera before reading from your list. “The Baptist church needs help movin’ their pews, Dr. O’Brian down at the pharmacy is ready to fill any prescriptions, oh, and the Lions Club is looking for some toilet paper, if you have any extra.”

Locals were quick to act. In under an hour, anything that could ever be donated was. Medicine, toothpaste, underwear, aspirin. Even jackets women’s kids grew out of last summer. Since the Rogers News station was the one to put out the call, that’s where all the donations were being dropped off. Except for the toilet paper, and truckloads were arriving at the Lions Club by the minute. At 1:17 PM, Natasha had to give another request.

“For the love of God, stop bringin’ toilet paper to the Lions Club!”

9:26 PM, Tuesday, September 11th, 2001

The mood on the planes was vastly different than what was happening outside. People were cranky, tired, and sore from sitting on the planes. Some people, from the beginning of their flight and the accumulated time sitting on the tarmac, were on the planes for twenty-eight hours. Bucky’s flight, from Paris and bound for NYC, touched down six hours after they took off. They were let out of their seats, but not off the plane. Something about the town they were in needing to get ready and the airport they were at not actually being a real international airport. No one even knew what was happening. The pilot wouldn’t tell them, and neither would the attendants. The phones on the backs of the seats weren’t working, so they couldn’t call loved ones, and those with cellphones only had limited service or battery life. Those who did get through weren’t getting any information either, just talking to their loved ones and assuring them they were okay. Bucky had no one to contact, as the one person he would have called in this situation was sitting next to him.

“How much longer?” one guy from the back of the plane shouted up to the front, irritated. The pilot had announced that the minibar the plane held was free, and people passed around the mini bottles of liquor. People got drunk fast, and while some people got friendlier, others got much more irritated. “We’ve been sitting here for twelve hours!”

Bucky shook his head, needing to get some fresh air. Many of the planes had their doors open to let some in, but it was still so stuffy and hot in there. He nudged Steve, nodding towards the door to let him know where he was going before getting up. He walked to the door, where a couple of women were sitting on the edge with their feet dangling from the plane. He stood behind them, looking out at the long line of cars along the road while the sun was setting behind them. It was almost insane. All he knew about the town that it was small, much smaller than he was used to, and seeing that many cars made him think that the entire town came out to watch him. While most people remained in their cars, he saw a small group of people standing in the middle of the road. One woman was a redhead, in a white button-down shirt with some sort of logo. She appeared to be a news reporter, since she was speaking to a camera and held a microphone while gearing to interview someone else. A man stood next to her, but off to the side in the grass of the ditch. He was obviously the police officer, as Bucky could see the gleam of his badge despite the distance between them. Finally, there was another woman. She stood at average height, with [Y/H/C] and dressed kind of like a stereotypical school teacher but with messy hair and a clipboard in her hands. From what he could see from his spot on the plane, she appeared to be the one in charge down there. He couldn’t help but give a smile, as seeing a woman take control of such a huge situation was surprisingly a turn on for him. He, however, turned back to the interior of the plane when the pilot made announcement.

“Ladies and gentlemen, please quiet down,” she had spoken. “Please listen to this broadcast from the President about the situation that had occurred today.”

After a few moments of silence, the sound of George W. Bush’s voice began to play over the PA system, but a bit fuzzy. It was being relayed through a handheld radio. Bucky turned back to watch the people in the road, who had stopped what they had been doing to listen to the broadcast from the officer’s car.

“…I ask the American people to join me in saying thanks…for all the folks who’ve been fighting hard to rescue our fellow citizens and to join me in saying a prayer for the victims and their families. The resolve of our great nation is being tested but make no mistake. We will show the world that we will pass this test. God bless.”

Bucky sighed as he watched the people in the road look at each other as the broadcast ended, the officer getting in his cruiser with the woman and driving onto the tarmac.

“Attention, plane people!” A loud voice then boomed from the tarmac, the officer turning on the lights and obviously using his cruiser’s intercom system. Every plane had their doors open so thankfully, they could all hear in the area the cruiser was in. “You are going to be the first group to deplane! We’re not sure how long that will take, so please keep your patience. Thank you for your cooperation.”

After a moment, the intercom crackled to let someone else talk. A woman’s voice then spoke up through the system, making Bucky smile.

“Welcome to Gander!”

Permanent Taglist: @buckysmischief @captainscanadian @thingsthatkeepmeawakeeveryday @this-kitten-is-smitten @wtfisachoncexx @jllngls02 @abrilkatz123 @writeturnlove @buckysgirls-stuff @tomhollandenthusiast @sebastian-i-stan @imma-new-soul @lumar014

You Are Here 📍 Taglist: @anastea

#bucky barnes #bucky #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky x you #avengers fanfiction #marvel fanfiction #steve rogers #wanda maximoff #pietro maximoff #clint barton #natasha romanoff #tony stark #pepper potts #fanfiction #you are here

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aaronhart93-archive · 5 years ago

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discord II text Roman & Aaron

Discord thread featuring: Aaron and @romanbeckett

Mentions: @wtf-eden @davieslandon @jayceelynd

Where: Aaron in Paris (with Eden) and Roman is in NYC

When: June 12th in New York, June 13th in Paris

Description: After Landon texts Aaron that Roman is upset upon seeing Eden’s IG post, Aaron reaches out to Roman to check on him

Trigger Warnings: pain, brief sexting

Aaron.

are you okay

Roman.

why?

Aaron.

I just...

am making sure

Roman.

I'm ok

Aaron.

I don’t believe you

Roman.

lol it doesn't matter

Aaron.

it does to me

Roman.

I'm just trying to let you go like you told me I needed to.

Aaron.

I can’t do anything right

im trying not to hurt you

but I’m also trying not to hurt Landon Jaycee and Eden at the same time

Roman.

I understand

I’m not mad

you don’t have to worry about me

Aaron.

I think about you all the time

so I can’t not worry

Roman.

I think about you too.

all the time.

Aaron.

what are we doing

Roman.

if you find out, let me know.

Aaron.

what do you want from this

like for us

Roman.

does it matter?

Eden’s post made it seem like you all were having the time of your lives

I don’t want to ruin that.

Aaron.

im not

it does matter

Ro id drop everything for you

Roman.

You would?

Aaron.

yes

Roman.

Aaron, are you sure? I need you to promise me that you’re sure.

Aaron.

I love you

Roman.

I love you, too. I’m taking Jaycee to Naples for a breather. I’m going to have a talk with her.

which I was gonna do regardless.

I don’t want to hurt anyone, but I’m starting to realize that I don’t know who I am anymore without you.

Aaron.

Roman

fuck I love you

Roman.

I was trying so hard to be okay with you and eden I swear lol but when she posted that picture from Paris I LOST IT

I’m dramatic as shit lol

Aaron.

lol yes you are and that’s one of the many things I love about you.

im sorry it upset you

Roman.

it’s okay, I’m just a jealous bitch lol

Aaron.

lol

is it bad I’m kinda happy you get jealous when it comes to me?

Roman.

No, I’m not surprised. You’re an asshole

Aaron.

an asshole that you’re in love with

Roman.

You’re correct.

I miss your chin dimple

Aaron.

I miss your dimples too

and your fckn hair

Roman.

Aaron.

there they are

Roman.

FUCK

Marry me right fucking now lol

Aaron.

*side eye emoji*

Roman.

you’re so bloody FIT

Aaron.

”bloody fit”

I love being complimented in British

Roman.

*annoyed emoji*

Aaron.

its a good thing!

Roman.

Give me more pictures dammit lol

OH did you see the new rocketman photos?

Aaron.

show me!!!

Roman.

FUCK GOD DAMMIT SHIT DAMN HELL!!!

Jesus CHRIST on a fucking CRACKER

AaronBOTYesterday at 8:43 PM

current Paris status

Roman.

AARON

Aaron.

*pleading face emoji*

Roman.

I’m so pissed that I’m not there lol

taking off that robe

Aaron.

im sorry

ooo

me too

Roman.

You’re so damn hot.

feathers galore

Aaron.

omg

YOU’RE so damn hot

I can’t wait to see you preform

Roman.

I’m nervous, but really fucking excited.

Aaron.

you’re gonna be so amazing

Roman.

I hope so. I’ve busted my arse lol!

Aaron.

yeah and I love that arse of yours

Roman.

what if...it was all yours?

Aaron.

do you think that’s possible?

Roman.

anything is possible.

Aaron.

#corny

Roman.

Aaron.

taking it back to my childhood

Roman.

THOUGH HOPE IS FRAIL, IT’S HARD TO KILLLLLLLL

WHO KNOWS WHAT MIRACLES YOU CAN ACHIEVE, WHEN YOU BELIIIIIEVE, SOMEHOW YOU WILLLLLLL - YOU WILL WHEN YOUUU BELIEEEEVE

Aaron.

ahahaha

its a bop

Roman.

have I convinced you yet?

Aaron.

you may have to send more memes

Roman.

I’ll let you get some sleep

Aaron.

its really late here

but I stayed up to talk to you

Roman.

Aaron.

but I SHOULD sleep

I’d just rather talk to you

Roman.

I’d rather talk to you than do a lot of things.

Aaron.

same

Roman.

I miss kissing you

feels like it’s been so damn long

Aaron.

Its been ages

well like a week

but it’s felt like ages

Roman.

it’s been more than that

maybe like...two

Aaron.

lets be honest I want to kiss you like 24/7

damn that night was two weeks ago now?

Roman.

Yep

Aaron.

I think about it all the time

I wish I made some different decisions that might

Roman.

What would you have done

Aaron.

well I wouldn’t have solidified things with Eden

wouldn’t have fought with Harry

but I would’ve still told you I loved you

that I wouldn’t change

Roman.

you asked me before what I wanted from this. What do YOU want?

Aaron.

I’ve wanted to be with you since I spilled coffee on your shoes but I just realized that at the pride party. Ali suggested I be alone for a little bit which might be something I need but I want to be your fucking boyfriend Ro

Roman.

Oh babe...

Aaron.

and wake up next to you every damn day

I know...it probs won’t happen I’m sorry

Roman.

I want that, too.

Aaron.

and I know don’t like monogamy

ooo???

really??

Roman.

it’s not that I don’t like monogamy. I just...after Landon, I was scared to get hurt again. And I guess I’ve been fooling myself into thinking I couldn’t be with just one person again, and risk getting hurt like that.

Aaron.

I get that

I can’t promise I won’t hurt you....I never want to hurt you but I’ve been breaking a lot of promises lately

Roman.

neither one of us can make those promises. But choosing to be together means you’re willing to take those risks.

Aaron.

landon would also kill me if I hurt you which is another reason I don’t want to do that lol

Roman.

if I were him, I’d want you to hurt me lol

fell in love with his best friend.

Aaron.

I know

im afraid my friendship with him will never be the same

Roman.

I don’t want to come between that

Aaron.

I know but I want to be with you so bad...part of me doesn’t care anymore. I know that’s an awful thing to say....And I know he will eventually be okay with it...eventually

Roman.

I feel the same way.

Aaron.

really?

Roman.

yes. Really. I’m fucking miserable without you, and I don’t care if we have to keep it under wraps for awhile until the smoke clears, it’s worth it. I want you. I don’t like thinking about you being with anyone else.

Aaron.

shit

me too

like I said I’d do anything for you

Roman.

we can say we just want to be a single for a bit

but

I just want to be with you

Aaron.

me too

Roman.

Aaron.

I wasn’t expecting this

but I’m happy

Roman.

I was t expecting this either lol

wasn’t**

Aaron.

I need to sleep but I can’t

Roman.

I wish you were holding me.

Aaron.

I wanna kiss you so bad

Roman.

just kiss hm??

Aaron.

oh okay I see where this is going

I wish your wholeee dick was in my mouth

better?

Roman.

damn. Yeah, actually

Aaron.

hehe you’re welcome

im still so tired

I haven’t slept and the birds are chirping

Roman.

shit. go to bed babe

Aaron.

okay babe

I love you

Roman.

I love you.

#discord #aaroman #ft. roman #ft. eden #ft. jaycee #ft. landon

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purplesurveys · 5 years ago

Text

802

Was your life better or worse or the same five years ago? A lot better. 2015 was the year of my grandfather dying, the slow death of a relationship, and me facing the massive pressure that came with taking college entrance exams. It wasn’t my favorite year. 2020 isn’t a lot better by any means, but it still hasn’t given me the same level of emotional turmoil so that’s good enough for me. Would you rather visit NYC, LA, or Chicago? Chicago. It’s been my dream city for a while, thanks to CM Punk and Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. Have you ever been to Chicago? I haven’t. Would you ever want to live in a big city? I do want to live in a big city; I want to end up living somewhere busy and where there’s lots of city noise, construction noise, trains, cars, etc. Considering I’ve always lived in gated villages, I’ve grown quite tired of how quiet and monotonous it can be here. Does your first crush know they were your first crush? Nah. We’ve also grown apart in the last decade so there’ll never be an appropriate time to raise it with her anymore. It’s just better off being a secret kept with me.

What color is your favorite laundry basket? I don’t have a favorite; the one I mainly use is brown. How old were you when you got your first smartphone? 17...I was a late bloomer lol. I broke so many phones before that so I understood my parents’ apprehension in getting me a smartphone. Before I had my own, Athenna would typically lend me her old 4S, back when she was still nice to me, and us. What is your favorite app on your phone? These days my favorite is Reddit as all other social media have been a little stressful to stay in. Reddit at least gives me a mix of everything, from the news, to funny content, to trivia, to interesting AskReddits, etc. What is the background on your phone? A shot of Beyoncé and Jay-Z on tour is my lock screen and Hayley Williams is my home screen. What is your favorite thing to do in the swimming pool? Just float around, lol. I don’t move a lot in swimming pools because I don’t like how chlorine-y/slimy most of them feel. I prefer to be at the beach. Do you have a swimming pool? No. What is the biggest city you've lived in (if you want to answer)? Manila. Do you own an American flag shirt? I don’t think so. I’m so not interested in one. Did you get your personality from your mom or your dad, or neither? I think it’s a mix of both. I got my shyness from my dad, but I can also be tense and uptight like my mom. Will you be eating bbq chicken this July 4th? I don’t care for that day. Would you rather wear red, white, or blue? I’d go with red, I find that it suits me best out of these three. Have you ever lit fireworks in your backyard? Not in the backyard but on the road outside of our house. It was New Year’s Eve and no one was driving that night anyway, so it was safe to put fireworks out on the street. Have you made many stupid decisions/mistakes? Of course. What does your middle name rhyme with? Carousel. Are there any redheads in your family? Nope. Who do you know who is allergic to nuts? Nah, just people from movies and shows I’ve watched hahaha. What is your favorite type of tree? I don’t really have a favorite tree. Are you superstitious? I’m just a tad bit neurotic about one superstition but otherwise I don’t believe in any other. Would you ever consider getting dreadlocks? No. When was the last time you drank tea? I think it was a few months ago when we were served free hot tea at North Park. Have you downloaded extra fonts for your computer? Just once, for layout class. Our class decided on a font that I didn’t have, so I had to get it from the internet.

Do you have photoshop? No. I have Indesign, though. What type of phone do you have? iPhone 8. What is one interesting fact about you? I had a green-blue birthmark on my right arm as an infant that never completely faded away, so I have a slight discoloration left on the same spot until now that looks black/greyish. What color are your walls? They are white. My mom gave us little say as to how we wanted our rooms to look like when they were first building them, so I had no choice even though I wanted baby blue walls. Who taught you how to drive a car? My dad taught me to drive around our village, then I also had brief lessons from a driving school when it came to driving on the highway. What is your favorite candy bar? Twix or Butterfinger. At what time of day do you feel the best? I’m on break from staying up late at the moment since I’m still recovering from my fever, but midnight beyond with my coffee and lofi music is my favorite period of the day. Are there a lot of mosquitoes where you live? Too many. Dengue is a common disease here. What does your swimsuit look like? Idk, I have several. Who is the latest great youtuber you've discovered? Haven’t really discovered anyone new lately. I’ve been on Netflix more these days, too.

Do you read the Bible regularly? Hard fucking pass on that. What color is your dresser? Brown.

Do you own any antique furniture? Welp, the aircon in my room is pretty antique hahaha it’s older than I am but still works like a charm. Other than that, all the antique furniture that I know of are in my grandma’s place, where they’ve always been. Would you ever want to live in a castle? I don’t think so. I want to live in a big place, but a castle isn’t my preferred style. What is your favorite cold drink from Starbucks? Caramel macchiatooooooo. Do you consider yourself "trendy"? Egh, only to a certain extent. I make sure I’m at least not outdated, but I also don’t feel the need to buy all the trendy things making the rounds. Name three patriotic songs you like. That is not my first or forty-eighth choice of music. What is your favorite flavor of ice cream? Cookies and cream. Do you like your hair better long or short? Nowadays, short. Do you like your hair better curly or straight? Wavy. Which major holiday is closest to your birthday? Usually it’s Easter, no matter when the church decides it’s going to be. Have you ever had an outdoor birthday party? No, my parties have always been indoors. Has it ever snowed on your birthday? -600% chance of that happening. Do you like the way your name is spelled? Sure, I’m not complaining. I get more misspellings with it but then again it’s also commonly accepted as the feminine spelling of the name, so at least people don’t go around calling me Sir/Mr. Are you close with any of your cousins? I’m close with my first and most of my second cousins on my mom’s side. There’s some work to be done with cousins on my dad’s side, as we barely talk lol. We don’t dislike each other, we just live far from one another and have little in common to boot. Who is your favorite cousin? The eldest cousin on my mom’s side, who’s pretty much my older brother because of how close we are. Do you really think that light blonde is the best hair color? I never even thought that to begin with. Do you think that blue eyes are the prettiest? Idk, I like green ones the most.

#survey #surveys

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backoftheroomandnotbelonging · 5 years ago

Text

73 questions.

I was tagged by @enchantedamusedslightlyconfused

I tag @iamdorka @xwonderlandxinxhellx @mrs-machinegun-norris (you’re my top three recommended tags)

On a scale of 1-10, how excited are you about life right now?

Like, a 5? I’m at a point in my life that I can go in any direction so I have a lot of freedom and choice. But, I have no idea where I want to be going so I’m in limbo and that makes me anxious...

Describe yourself in a hashtag?

#backoftheroomandnotbelonging

I use it to tag any content I’m posting and Tumblr is typically where I’m the most honest.

If you could do a love scene with anyone, who would it be?

Oooo I don’t know

Colson? Yungblud, maybe Mod Sun as well...

Definitely Colson though - that man is a dream 👀

If your life was a musical, what would the marquee say?

I genuinely don’t have the foggiest...

What’s one thing people don’t know about you?

I’ve done pole fitness since I was 14.

What’s your wake up ritual?

Wake up, check the number of notifications I have on my phone, have a wash, get dressed, makeup, breakfast.

What’s your go to bed ritual?

PJs, have a wash, music, lights out, music, fanfiction, daydream, pass out.

What’s your favourite time of day?

Anytime between 2:00 and 4:30 in the morning. It’s when my house is guaranteed to be asleep so I’m finally able to just stop and be me.

Your go to for having a good laugh?

I don’t actually remember the last time I had a good laugh...

KellyVision makes me chuckle though.

Dream country to visit?

America. It’s kinda cliche but oh well. Definitely hitting up Cleveland for EST Fest and maybe NYC. Probably would wanna go to an amusement park as well - I just have this idea that they’re very different to British ones.

And NZ! My cousins are there and together? We’re hurricanes.

What’s the biggest surprise you’ve had?

This is one of those questions that I suddenly can’t think of an answer for.

Maybe @xwonderlandxinxhellx?

I don’t even remember how we started talking but I never thought (I dreamed but never thought) that I would actually make a friend on Tumblr.

So, thank you 🖤

Heels or flats/sneakers?

CONVERSE! I will die in my Chucks.

That being said, ya girl loves feeling herself in heels. I can’t do normal heels so I have these block heel brogues that I adore.

Vintage or new?

I adore the vintage style but sizing often isn’t on my size.

Also love some dark punk grunge clothing.

Who do you want to write your obituary?

I don’t want an obituary.

When I die I want that to be it. No funeral, no nothing.

Style icon?

Colson, Dom?

I’m very into aesthetics that I could never really pull off.

What are three things you can’t live without?

My glasses

My headphones

The Bloom album (quite literally in this case)

What’s one ingredient you put in everything?

Mixed herbs or sweetcorn.

Love Worcestershire Sauce as well.

What 3 people living or dead would you like to make dinner for?

Colson Baker (needs a heartwarming homecooked meal)

And there are probably others but none that really spring to mind.

My mum, to thank her?

What’s your biggest fear in life?

Fear of isolation

I’m not scared of being abandoned (if you do that to me then you’re doing me a favour)

But I am scared of closing myself off to people that could be there for me and letting things get bad and consume me again.

Window or aisle seat?

Aisle seat!

I like looking at what’s going on about me.

And it’s odd but I also don’t hate the inconvenience of getting up to let people pass.

What’s your current TV obsession?

Roadies.

And nothing else will ever match it. It’s a crime it was cancelled before a second season.

Favourite app?

Tumblr, followed closely by Pinterest.

I think it’s because they’re spaces that are specifically for your interests, dreams, all that mess in your head and I vibe with that.

Secret talent?

I’m not very talented, not gonna lie.

I can rap all of Breaking News which I feel is impressive?

Most adventurous thing you’ve done in your life?

I’ve not had many opportunities to be adventurous.

Skipping school always gave me such anxiety so my body definitely thought I was jumping off a cliff or something.

How would you define yourself in three words?

Witty, fangirl, brave?

Favourite piece of clothing you own?

I have a green and grey checkered suit jacket that I adore.

My Adder Technology jumper is my favourite oversized item.

Black ripped jeans.

Must have clothing item everyone should have?

Brown leather belt. I don’t know why but I’ll never go back.

Superpower you would want?

Power of time? Just to like slow it down. I feel like I don’t have enough time to do anything so to slow it down and get shit done would be great. Or just to give myself a minute to breathe. We don’t get enough ‘time out’s in life.

What’s inspiring you in life right now?

Colson has always been inspiring to me.

He came into my life when I was 15 and literally saved it. He’s always going to mean that to me.

Best piece of advice you’ve received?

Mod Sun: I’ve always been a little bit reluctant to say I’m gonna be the best at something because I didn’t wanna disrespect other people, like ‘Imma be the best at something, you can’t have it’. So I’d never really be like that. But if you don’t say you’re gonna be the best at what you’re doing, your insides, that power that you have, doesn’t know what the fuck to do.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4JUdgoHnL4Q&list=LLF69NADeUPVjZWSlZpeiGWg&index=3&t=0s

Best advice you’d give your teenage self?

Just live, please. We were so close to not living and yet here we are. Please, please, just throw the rule book in the flames. Go to school hungover, pull allnighters to just feel music, smoke, don’t do your homework.

Promise me to be unapologetically yourself.

A book that everyone should read?

In Cold Blood by Truman Capote - just stick with it...it’s an interesting story and raises some questions about life.

The Selection Series by Keira Cass - my favourite YA series.

Harry Potter by JK Rowling - pretty self explanatory?

What would you like to be remembered for?

I don’t wanna be remembered.

I’m gone, just move on. Find a new energy to bring into your life.

How do you define beauty?

(That is a purposeful blank space.)

What do you love most about your body?

That it’s never given up on me.

Best way to take a rest/decompress?

Music as loud as possible so you can just lose yourself.

Favourite place to view art?

Oh this has me stumped.

I like art that is significant but isn’t technically legally displayed.

If your life were a song, what would the title be?

It would 100% be a word or phrase that wouldn’t turn up in the lyrics at all.

But you listen to it and the title seems like the perfect title, nothing else could represent this song.

If you could master one instrument, what would it be?

Guitar, bass? No, drums. Vocals...

I just want some musical talent!

If you had a tattoo, where would it be?

Oooo, get ready.

Bee, on my collarbone.

Lace Up, on my wrist.

Tree, on my sternum.

Stars/an astronaut/a solar system, somewhere undecided.

Dolphins or koalas?

Don’t really have a preference...

But the dolphins in Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy were great so...

What’s your spirit animal?

I think maybe a seal?

Best gift you’ve ever received?

My headphones.

I have tiny ears so have always struggled to find earbuds that are comfortable for a long period of time.

I found some!

And then they were discontinued so it’s really difficult to buy them.

I was surprised with 3 pairs once and I practically cried.

Best gift you’ve ever given?

Ummm, I’m not very artsy creative but I once made my mum a birthday card using a teabag, I think she liked it?

I was a teenager so it was really rare that I ever did something artistic so I think she especially appreciated the effort and discomfort I felt.

What’s your favourite board game?

Chess.

Game of Life.

Cards against humanity.

What’s your favourite colour?

Grey.

Least favourite colour?

I used to have this severe hate for pink because it was forced on me as a child (I shared a room with my little sister and she loved pink so pink was what she got.)

I’ve grown out of it: pink is punk as fuck.

Diamonds or pearls?

I don’t really have a preference.

I much prefer simple things.

If we’re talking jewellery then I like plain silver.

Drugstore makeup or designer?

Ummm...I’m not sure how to differentiate.

I try and use Natural Collection for the base of my makeup but my eyeliner and eyebrows are Rimmel London and NYX.

Blow-dry or air-dry?

Air-dry

These curls only work one way and that’s their way.

Pilates or yoga?

Both.

Depends on what I need in the moment.

Coffee or tea?

Neither!

I’m not allowed so it’s hot chocolate all the wayyyy.

What’s the weirdest word in the English language?

The weirdest words are the ones that you learnt reading so pronounce one way when actually it’s said entirely differently.

Me, in Year 10, with the word ‘epitome’.

Dark chocolate or milk chocolate?

Depends on my mood really...

Cadbury released this bar that mixed the two together and that seems kinda perfect.

Stairs or elevator?

Either

I like racing people in the lifts to see if I can get up the stairs quicker. Such a child, I know.

Summer or winter?

Winter, for sure.

Natural ginger so the summer is the worst thing I’ve ever experienced.

You are stuck on an island, you can pick one food to eat forever without getting tired of it, what would you eat?

Mash.

A desert you don’t like?

Apple pie (or any fruit pie)

And custard.

A skill you’re working on mastering?

Skateboarding.

No time like quarantine, eh?

Best thing to happen to you today?

Woke up naturally alert so felt ready to tackle the day productively for the first time since lockdown began.

Best compliment you’ve ever received?

That my writing has helped someone.

Someone told me that A Night of Many Firsts perfectly represented what they were feeling and helped them feel strong enough to get help.

Favourite smell?

My deodorant, baking, the local library.

Hugs or kisses?

Hugs. Simple as.

If you made a documentary, what would it be about?

Intense case study of teenage mental illness into adulthood.

Last piece of content you consumed that made you cry?

Pretty Toxic Revolver - Machine Gun Kelly

Probably every episode of Torchwood ever

Lipstick or lip gloss?

Lipstick

Sweet or savoury?

Savoury. Vegan corn chowder, garlic bread, potatoes.

Girl crush?

I don’t really have any?

I mean, I’m bi but no one really comes to mind.

How you know you’re in love?

I’ve never been in love but I hope it would be seeing them and feeling peace.

Knowing that they get every part of you, good and bad, and still choose to stay. And vice versa.

Song you can listen to on repeat?

Pretty much anything MGK

Currently feeling the Lace Up album.

If you could switch lives with someone for a day who would it be?

I wouldn’t want to be someone else.

I’d much rather be able to jump forward and experience a day in my future...for reassurance.

What are you most excited about at this time in your life?

Travelling.

I’m leaving and hopefully never coming back to this place, this mindset, again.

#73 questions #tag game #tagged #backoftheroomandnotbelonging

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momentofroggie · 6 years ago

Text

Spike To The Heart CH 4

WC: 2.7K

The rest of the school week goes by slow. Classes are interesting to Peter, especially the ones that deal with science, but to everyone else it’s torture. The only two things the boys can think about is practice and food. At lunch they discuss sports and inside jokes over food, picking fun at Peter and arguing with Thor over football.

“There’s no way you’re gonna lose against Scarborough. Just because they’re bulky doesn’t mean they’re smart.” Steve comments over his sandwich.

“Yeah, but they could knock out some of our best players.” Thor grumbles, picking at his teeth. Loki cringes at the food underneath his brother’s fingernails.

“But not you, though.” Peter peeps up. Thor coos and ruffles his hair, his hazelnut curls becoming frizzy and free. Peter flushes, table going quiet, everyone listening to the commotion around them. Everyone eats in content silence, with a few side conversations here and there.

The last class of the day, Peter is trying his hardest to stay focused. After all, physics is his favorite subject. However, his chin is leaning on the palm of his hands, eyes fluttering shut. His sense of sound is wavering in and out, his teacher’s voice lulling him to sleep. Every time he feels himself dozing off, a sudden yelp from the teacher or the door slamming shut wakes him back up. Peter thinks he may finally fall asleep until Wade nudges him with chill eyes.

“Wanna come to the bathroom with me?” Wade raises an eyebrow. Peter furrows his and gestures his hand up.

“Why?” Peter questions, his head tipping to one side.

“You seem like you need a break.” Wade winks, sending butterflies in to Peter’s stomach. What the hell is he about to get himself into. Wade gets up and Peter clumsily follows suit. Wade picks up the hall pass and is heading out the door.

“Where are you boys going?” The teacher asks. Wade looks over his shoulder and gives a smug smile.

“Peter isn’t feeling good. I’m coming with him to the bathroom to make sure nothing bad happens.” Peter blushes out of embarrassment. I feel fine, Peter wants to say but he merely says it in his head. The teacher nods and they head out, quietly closing the classroom door behind him. Peter walks to the left of Wade, who’s swinging the hall pass like a pair of nunchucks. They turn the corner and go into the bathroom, Wade walking into the first stall. Peter stands by the sink, looking at his reflection. He fixes his fringe and rubs his tired eyes. He expects to hear some sort of gross noise from some sort of bodily fluid, but he hears nothing. Instead, he hears a slight crackle and an exhale.

“Wade, what are you doing?” Peter utters, confused. No response. Just another crackle and exhale.

“Come into the stall next to me.” Wade orders. Peter raises an eyebrow and nods to himself. He gets into the stall and locks the door behind him. He stands there awkwardly while whistling to himself. He hears a noise to his right. He turns around and see Wade sliding something between the cracks in the stall. It looks like a USB and it has a small white light in the middle of the device. Peter hesitantly takes it, palming it in his hand.

“What is this?” Peter chuckles, running his thumb over the device.

“It’s a JUUL. Take a hit off it.” Wade whispers. Peter feels like a dumb and naive kid for not knowing what this is. He’s heard of them before on the internet, but has never seen one in real life. He taps it and the light shines green then fades away. He holds it in his hand, observing it like it’s a science experiment. He feels like a toddler trying out a new toy for the first time.

“How?” Peter whispers back. Wade laughs and opens his stall door. He knocks on Peter’s and Peter opens his. Wade triumphantly steps in and locks it behind them. Peter feels himself heat up under his burgundy sweater. Wade takes it from Peter’s delicate hands and holds it up to Peter’s red ruby lips.

“Inhale.” Wade says in a hushed tone. Peter puts his lips up to it and inhale. A minty puff of vape enters his mouth, hitting the back of his throat. His eyelashes flutter to look up at Wade as he removes his mouth from the Juul and exhales. Suddenly, a buzz courses through his veins. His eyes shoot open and his feet feel heavy. His fingers tingle as his eyes trace every knuckle. He tries to hold back a cough as he looks back at Wade, who’s taking another hit. He ghosts it, the vape appearing and disappearing within a second before reappearing through his nose and mouth.

“That’s weird,” Peter stammers, “But nice. I feel-“

“Refreshed.” Wade gleams and moves closer to Peter, foreheads almost touching. Wade takes another hit of his Juul and blows it into Peter’s face. Peter scoffs and fans the vape from out of the air to reveal a smirking Wade. Peter leaned his head against Wade’s shoulder without second thought, letting the nicotine run its course. He’s dizzy yet calm but a little anxious when Wade hitches his breath before chuckling into his ear.

“You’re so cute.” Wade whispers, rubbing Peter’s back. Peter shrugs and adjusts his head to look up Wade’s neck.

“I get that a lot.” Peter giggles. Wade nods and feels himself melt into the floor, those big doe eyes staring back at him, the sweet and sultry scent of Peter’s cologne. Wade tilts Peter’s chin, stroking the side of his face lovingly. He stuffs his Juul in his pocket and closes his eyes, going in for a kiss. Peter sighs and kisses back, soft and slow. A flush of a toilet soon follows, an unromantic interruption. Peter gasps and they quickly pulled away, staring at each other. Wade notices how flustered Peter is, messy hair and a dizzy expression.

“Let’s get out of here.” Wade whispers and quietly opens the stall door, Peter following after him. They walk back to the classroom in silence, neither of them sure of what to say. They finish the class, only talking to each other to ask a question, mainly for Wade to get the answers off Peter. Once the bell rings, Peter frantically packs up his things and heads out the door.

“Wait!” Wade calls out, trailing behind Peter. Peter turns around, leaning against a locker. Wade gives a shy smile and looks down. “Are you mad at me?”

“Why would I be mad at you?” Peter questions, grinning because he knows exactly why Wade would think so. He shouldn’t have enjoyed the kiss, no, but he hasn’t had a real kiss in a long time, even if it was short lived.

“I don’t know, maybe you thought I was a bad kisser.” Wade chuckles moving closer towards Peter. Peter smiles shyly and scratches the back of his neck.

“Guess I would have to kiss you more to find out.” Peter giggles, lifting up his heels and falling back down again. Wade laughs and his neck and cheeks flush alive with a rosy pink.

“Let’s head to the bathroom than.” Wade jokes, but not really. Peter giggles and looks down, eyelashes fluttering from embarrassment. Their tender moment is soon cut short from the boisterous stomping of Steve and Bucky’s feet, clunking down the hallway.

“Hey lovebirds, we got some pizza to eat and JUULs to rip and you’re coming with us.” Steve hollers. Peter facepalms and Wade cheers, taking Peter’s hand. They walk out to the ghetto, which is what they call the student parking lot, and into Steve’s car. Steve’s parents are loaded and it shows through the leather seats and sleek interior. Wade and Peter climb in the back while Bucky sits up front. Steve starts the car and they’re on their way to the best pizza shop in the city, Mindy’s pizza shop. Steve blasts loud music and sings along while Bucky sits in silence, taking a hit from his JUUL every now and then. Wade opens his window and sticks his head out, feeling the September air hit his face. Peter giggles and decides to watch the scene unfold in front of him until they get to the pizza shop. That is, until Wade climbs on top of him to open the other window.

“Woah Wade, at least take me out to dinner first.” Peter shouts with a smile as Wade straddles Peter in the backseat. Peter, like a good boy, has his seatbelt on while Wade is completely without a care in the world. Wade laughs and pinches Peter’s cheek, feeling the soft flesh.

“I think I am taking you out to dinner right about now.” Wade winks as Steve pulls into Mindy’s parking lot. All of them climb out of the car and head inside. The door rings as Steve swings it open. A hitched breath escapes him as he sees a familiar face behind the counter.

“Nat!” Steve calls out, speeding his pace us as he walks to the counter. The redhead calls out his name as they hug over the counter. Bucky gleams and sends a wave her way. Peter can’t believe his eyes. The best athlete at our school, an all star in soccer, indoor track, and softball works at a little pizza shop around the corner. Peter shyly waves, but Nat opens her arms for a hug. Peter giggles and hugs her, smelling her sweet perfume and a hint of sweat.

“Welcome to Mindy’s, best pizza parlor in Queens, what would you like today?” Nat says in a sing-song voice. Steve orders a large cheese pizza and a liter of Coke, which Nat puts on the house. Peter looks behind him to see Wade standing awkwardly, scratching the back of his neck. Peter grabs Wade’s hand and introduces him.

“Yeah, this is Peter’s boyfriend, Wade.” Steve teases, “The best server in all of NYC.” Wade blushes and Bucky rolls his eyes. Nat waves before she grabs the steaming hot box and cold liter of soda. She hands it over to Steve and blows a kiss, which Steve ‘catches’ and places on his cheek. Peter watches as Bucky goes red and lazily kicks at the ground. Nat throws a wink over her shoulder, her firey red curls resting on her shoulder blades. They eat and chat until dusk starts to appear and cars start to rev by, grumbling against the faint September wind.

“I think it’s time for us to hit the road, boys.” Steve moans out, ridiculously bloated from the pizza. Bucky jiggles Steve’s belly and Wade laughs, making Santa Claus noises. “A football game awaits.”

“You got the signs, Peter?” Bucky asks. Peter nods and can’t help a smile that creeps upon his face. He’s been working on these signs all week, decorating them with stickers and glitter glue. They all clean up, thank Nat, and climb in the car. Steve is a reckless driver. Taking sharp turns and honking his horn every chance he get. I guess you gotta have some balls driving in Queens. They pull up to the ghetto once more and park near the field. A mass of people with bills in their hands are waiting to get in to the stadium. Loud music blasts over the speakers. People in their school’s colors, blue and yellow, can be seen from every angle, complimenting the pink and purple sky above. They finally get in, buying their tickets and climbing the bleachers to the student section.

The student section is massive. The upperclassmen clad in blue and yellow face paint. The freshman girls in skimpy outfits and the cheerleaders on the field in their short skirts and leotards. Some have air-horns and maracas, a couple of seniors boys have mega phones. None of this compare to the signs. Four sophomore boys have one letter of Thor’s name painted on their belly in blue spraypaint. A couple of freshman girls made LED signs for Pietro Maximoff. The boys don’t have to search long for a seat because a certain someone saved a bench for them.

“Sup, dorks?” Carol calls out, tapping the bench next to her. They have the best seats in the house, first row of bleachers. They all sit down except for Peter. He dives down under the bleachers and grabs the signs. He dusts off some of the dirt. They look perfect. The glitter glue reflects off the Friday night lights, the caligraphy looking matte and smooth. He hands them out and the boys sit in awe at the pure artistry on the pieces of poster paper.

“Not bad, Parker.” Bucky grins, stroking the paper, feeling the glitter against his skin. Soon, the athletic director announces the game is about to begin. With a gunshot, the football teams runs out from behind the blue and yellow paper and streamers. The boys and Carol jump up and wriggle their signs around. They spell out “WE LOVE GOD OF FOOTBALL #24”. Thor jumps around on field and stretches, getting ready for the first game of the season. He looks up through his helmet and spots the signs. A smile spreads across his face and blows a kiss. Peter feels his heart flutter. Hard work really does pay off. They sit down and watch the game, mostly watching Thor play. He’s so quick and powerful, like some sort of mutant fox, scurring around the field and destroying everything in his way. Steve is fawning over the cheerleaders, especially the lead one, Wanda. Bucky comments that Steve could make a better cheerleaders than any of the girls combined. Steve blushes.

“Hey, wanna come with me and ‘relax’?” Wade winks. Peter rolls his eyes and nods. They excuse themselves and walk around the perimeter of the field. Peter’s hand traces the fence around the field while the other one brushes against Wade’s hand. They talk about nonsensical stuff, like homework and volleyball. They laugh about how painfully obvious it is that Bucky likes Steve and how Steve is completely oblivious. They walk behind the football shed, which stores extra helmets and cups, and Wade whips out his JUUL.

“Sir, I reward you with the first hit.” Wade geekily gets down one on knee and presents his JUUL to Peter. He lets out a hearty laugh and takes the JUUL from him, taking a soft and gentle hit. He exhales, feeling the mint tingle his tongue. Wade takes a hit and suddenly yet slowly pulls Peter closer. He leans down so Peter’s and Wade’s lips are almost touching, then he exhales. Peter inhales, feeling the vapor hit the back of his throat. Peter exhales and giggles, creating a mini vapor cloud between them. Wade chuckles back and leans in to kiss Peter. He kisses back, their lips move slow and sultry.

Wade sighs and deepens the kiss, his tongue teasing Peter’s bottom lip. Peter, being the little tease he is, doesn’t let Wade slip his tongue into his youthful mouth. Wade grabs Peter’s ass, the flesh plump in his hand. Peter gasps and Wade’s tongue slips into Peter’s mouth, their tongue dancing. Wade ends the kiss by biting on Peter’s bottom lip, making it swell a ruby red color. They pull away, flushed and horny and eyeing each other for more. Peter’s curls are entangled into a mess and his eyes glossy with desperation. Wade chuckles and goes back in for more, feeling his pants getting tight at the sensation of Peter’s heat. Wade peppers kisses down Peter’s neck before suckling right about his collarbone, leaving a watercolor purple mark.

Peter moans, feeling up and down Wade’s back. Suddenly, a bright light is flashed into Peter’s eyes. He squints them shut and feels Wade scurry out of the way. Peter rubs his eyes and feels himself freeze, just now realizing what is happening. Oh shit, they’ve been caught.

“You might want to put ice on that hickey, Parker.” Coach Stark calls out. He turns off his flashlight on his phone and walks forward. Wade squeaks out of fear and looks over to Peter where they lock eyes. Peter audibly gulps and cowers. Suddenly, Wade runs away and out to the ghetto, presumably out of fear and embarrassment. Coach Stark looks over his shoulder and raises an eyebrow, shaking his head and looking back at Peter. “You know you can’t do this on school grounds, right?”

“Y-Yes, sir. I’m sorry, sir.” Peter murmurs, looking down at the grass below him. Stark’s callused hand tilts Peter’s chin up. They’re suddenly very close and he can feel Stark’s breath against his nose. Peter’s jeans begin to feel too tight. He feels something more, something intimate, like he wants to kiss him and push him up against the shed and ride him until he’s seeing stars.

“You’re a good kid, Peter. Now get out of here before I change my mind.” Stark huffs, ruffling Peter’s curls. Peter nods and jogs out of there. He feels hot and bothered and slightly buzzed. He shouldn’t feel like that from Mr. Stark, no, it’s from Wade. It has to be. Peter looks back up at the student section and shakes his head, deciding he needs to go home. He needs to wash off the day, jerk one out, and dream about his delicious volleyball coach.

#starker #peter x tony #tony x peter #peter parker/tony stark #tony stark/peter parker #tony stark x peter parker #peter parker x tony stark

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feenyreadscomics · 6 years ago

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Rosaries, pt 6

Last time on Rosaries, Matt left NYC on a train. He has just run into Bucky. Also a disclaimer, I guess for this whole series in general, but particularly with the introduction of Bucky: I am not disabled. And in particular with Bucky, I wasn't able to find much regarding how a total arm amputee may have to navigate life. So, if i get something wrong, i apologize in advance. Also I feel like I've been writing Matt, and am currently writing Bucky, as being a bit too open to trust. Dunno how to correct it, but here we are

Something was... off. There was the vibrating from the guy's arm next to Matt sure, but there were a few too many conductors for this train. And they were carrying... probably weapons.

One of the conductors came up to them, and started harassing Matt's seat buddy? Seat acquaintance? Seat acquaintance, and Matt knew he was carrying a gun. So, he might have tried to deescalate the situation (Foggy would be proud of him) and the gun might have been pulled out in the open. Which may have required a bit of combat, throwing his seatmate onto the floor, and getting the gun away from the conductor.

But then, holy shit, his seatmate had a bulletproof arm. Which was useful, since the cramped quarters meant he couldn't tell exactly how many people were coming after them. They were able to grab their packs, and then the stranger smashed his metal arm through the window. He climbed out onto the top of the train, Matt following close behind. A gunshot grazed metal arm's leg. More goons started to come out the sides of train.

"We need to jump!" Matt yelled.

"I got that!" Seat mate responded.

Matt heard a pin being pulled out, then something metal land at their feet. Shit. A grenade. Matt kicked it away, then dove off the side, tackling his new buddy as they went. And down they went, Metal arm's metal arm knocking the wind out of Matt, and Matt accidentally kneeing him in the ribs, and they were off. Running. They weaved through some trees before making it to a residential area. Then, a downtown area. Perfect.

Matt slipped on a hat and reassembled his cane. The other guy pulled up a hood. Considering he was loosing blood pretty quick, he was doing a good job holding up. Matt grabbed Metal Arms's (fleshy) elbow.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

"Trying to pretend to be normal. You're going to be guiding me, mostly because it's easier for me if you do. Once they are off your tail, you're gonna get stitched up."

"Got it." Bucky began to turn his head.

"Don't look behind us. That's suspicious. I've got good hearing. I'll be able to tell when they're giving up." They weaved their way through the crowd: tired workers shuffling back home, teens excited over the upcoming weekend, college students slipping away from their studies to bars. It was a lot of noise, and Matt needed to concentrate if they were going to get out of this.

With Metal Arm guiding Matt, he was able to focus on the people talking on their comms. Eventually, they gave up. Matt waited about thirty seconds after that, then said "Hey, they're gone."

"Great. Can we sit down?" Metal Arm guy moved to a bench and rolled up his pantleg. "Do you have any gauze and tape?" Matt dug out a roll of medical tape and gauze. Metal Arm took them and wrapped his leg, then returned the rest, and pulled down his pant leg. "Thanks."

"Do you have anywhere to go?"

"I'll figure it out."

"I'm moreso asking because you just blew my travel plans out of the water."

"Well, shit."

"So, a quid pro quo?"

"Sure. Ya got any camping gear?"

"Some."

"We are getting out of here then."

"Down for taking a cab?"

"Sure."

Matt pulled out his phone, and called a cab. Fairly soon, Boston was behind them, the lights of the city fading to black.

Later on, after camp got set up and fish were caught and cooked (and Matt managed to eat one) and fires were lit and granola bars were shared and introductions were made ("I'm Jim," the metal armed man said, even though his heart rate registered a lie, but tit for tat, Matt supposed, as he introduced himself as Mike) the duo settled into a comfortable silence.

"I'll take first watch," Matt offered.

"I would rather do that."

"No, you first."

Jim glared at him. "No."

"Fine." Matt walked over and got into his hammock. Sleep was probably a good idea.

"What's the deal with the hammock anyways?" Jim asked.

Well, sleeping on the ground is a special sort of sensory hell, but camping itself is great. So much quieter than the city. "I sleep better this way."

Jim nodded at him, then silently watched the fire.

Buck waited for Mike to fall asleep. Being awake was better than being asleep. Mike took a while. His arm was bugging him, but it would be okay, in the end.

It was a long night. Bucky hoped Mike would be able to get back to whatever his travel plans were.

Mike roused himself from sleep at around four am. He had Bucky go to bed. Bucky slipped under his tarp, then took off his arm. That felt so much better.

Bucky fell asleep.

He was there, again. The mission. Behind a blue minivan.

Roll a grenade. Easy takedown.

But then, boom, the Black Widow was on him, and he was fighting to breathe. And boom, she was off.

Shoot. Target not eliminated, hiding behind a car. Shoot again.

Then he charged in.

Shoot, kick, fight. Eliminate target.

And he's choking his best friend and powerless to stop.

Punch, kick. His mask is off. Steve's face emblazoned in his mind. Horror, fear.

"Bucky?"

Jim was moving, thrashing. Matt was on guard, stick in hand.

They slowly died down. Matt breathed a sigh of relief.

Jim woke up.

"Morning," Matt said as he offered a granola bar to Jim. "Sleep well?"

"Yeah," Jim said. Heartrate increase. Lie. Jim took the granola bar, tore the packaging off with his teeth, and ate it.

"So what's the plan for today?"

"You," Jim pointed aggressively at Matt, "go on your own way. Do what you need to do. And I," Jim started pointing at himself, " go my own way."

"While I dont doubt you can take care of yourself," Matt took a bite of his own granola bar, "you have no money, limited resources, most of which are weapons, and a giant fucking target on your back." Matt swallowed his granola bar. "I have resources and a death wish. So how about we work together?" Matt did not like the sound of this guy striking out alone. He'd probably kill a bunch of people.

"I don't play well with others."

"Neither do I! Last time I worked with someone, people died. So how about we work together?" Jim, I really need to know you aren't a terrorist. Please.

"I nearly killed my best friend. Please, leave me alone."

"You aren't alone. I did too."

"Wait, what?"

"Yep. Got possessed. My best friend climbed a temple to save me. Nearly killed him."

"Jeez. Fine. You can stay."

They clean camp, and move on, getting on a bus. Matt texts Foggy he's alright, and Foggy wishes him well.

Foggy texts about how he's a bit worried for Matt, and wants to know if he was involved in the train incident. Matt wants to lie, to say that he wasn't, but he takes a deep breath. They were trying to beat up an amputee, he texts back. Foggy wants to know if anyone died, and all Matt can say is not before he left. Matt asks about cases at the firm, and they had a case with Mrs. Gonzales and her son, accused of robbing a bodega at gunpoint. It seemed open and shut. Matt wished him luck on the case, and him and Jim continued their adventures.

I lived, b: hey so I just texted Matt and apparently he made a friend

Hottie McBurnerPhone: oh thank god

Night Nurse: he actually made a friend?? Like I'm a bit worried if this friend is a good influence

The hair is real: that's surprising. No one forced him?

I lived, b: I know. But great.

Old man: that's good for him. Who is this friend?

I lived, b: dunno. An amputee, apparently.

Old man: ok. Praying for him.

And we are done! For clarification

I lived, b: Foggy Nelson (refrence to the plot where he gets cancer

Hottie McBurner phone: Claire Temple

Old man: Steve Roger's. By finding out Matt is Daredevil, he earned one consolation prize of being in the "I'm friends with a human disaster and this is how I cope" chat.

Night nurse: Linda Carter

The hair is real: Karen Page (refrence to 60's Page hair)

Also, not waking someone up in case of night terrors is what you should do.

Matt almost killed Foggy in the comics. It happened, we love Matt anyway. Also lowkey love Matt being "You think you're a human disaster? Try me."

#rosaries #matt murdock #bucky barnes #foggy nelson #steve rogers

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kinetic-elaboration · 5 years ago

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September 1: Vegas Notes

Okay, I’m going to try to write up some notes on my vacation, mostly just the straight events of what I did and when, because I don’t want to forget anything but I also don’t want to spend five hours writing this. Plus I wrote down some emotional impressions yesterday and during the trip itself.

Wednesday

Mostly a traveling day, but because the time change worked very much in my favor, also sort of a ‘first’ day in Vegas itself. I left my apartment at about 7:30 and flew out of Richmond at about 9:03. The Richmond airport isn’t large and I’ve flown out of it before so that was quite easy. Just had time for a chai tea latte before I headed off. I know it’s weird to be this person but I actually really like air travel, and at this point I’m even inured to stuff going wrong, so I was having a good old time even then. Even though the aisles are very narrow and the seats are small. My flights weren’t too long anyway. And for ONCE everything was even better than on time. Three of my four flights arrived early and so did my mom’s, and even my last flight, which left 20 minutes late, only arrived 5 minutes late, which is to say it was also ‘early’ except for the delay in take-off.

Anyway my first flight was to Charlotte and only about an hour, and then in Charlotte I had, like, NO TIME (from talking to a co-worker who’s also going West through CLT and from looking around online, I’ve gotten the impression American does this a lot, gives people a 45 minute layover in Charlotte), but the two gates weren’t too far from each other—farther than I’d though they would be because I had to go from C to B and my gate at B was all the way at the end—and I got in early. So I rushed but didn’t run, got there with ten minutes to boarding, and still had time to use the restroom and wait around for 10-15 minutes before my group actually boarded. So in fact it worked out well.

My second flight was almost 4 hours, which I didn’t think would be long, but it kind of was. They showed Avengers: Endgame and although at first I was just watching and listening to my own music, after a little bit, I decided to plug in and listen because I thought it would make the time go faster to actually watch a narrative. And luckily that monster is 3 hours long so that was most of the flight. I was also starving by this time, so I did in fact get an expensive sandwich on the plane, the eating of which also took up time.

I got in early, at about 1pm, but I had to wait for my mom to get in a couple hours later. I flew into D gate and it took me about an hour of wandering around just to figure out that D was a little satellite collection of stores, gates, and Starbucks, and I needed to take a shuttle to the gates where my mom would be. Once I did that, I saw her flight was early and I had less than two hours of waiting left. So I found a Starbucks with a seating area (there were only A BILLION of them, a fucking Starbucks in every aisle, more Starbucks than DC even) and had a coffee and a yogurt parfait and wrote a bit, which was fine, even though Starbucks is overrated (literally just sugar ice water after five minutes????? Why??????????????? Why is this $500 I could make this myself?). Then I went to my mom’s gate, which was in a nice place with a good view, and read and listened to music until she arrived.

We found the taxi stand, got one right away, and drove to our hotel. It is SO CLOSE. I guess because you can only carve out so much space in the desert. And literally it’s like desert all around and then Vegas, that’s it, a big entertainment center in the middle of nowhere. The landscape was gorgeous and actually the whole time I was traveling across the country I felt very… moved. And then getting into Vegas itself is bizarre because it’s literally a few very famous, very large building just rising up out of nothing.

Anyway, I agonized a lot about hotels but ended up going with an off-strip, non-resort hotel and this was a very good choice. I was pleased. For the same base price as a resort, and without resort or wi-fi fees, we got a whole fucking suite, almost as big as my apartment, with a living room, kitchen, large closet, bathroom with two doors, etc. Plus a fridge and a microwave and a dishwasher and all that. It felt like being at home right away. We spent a couple hours there, catching up, and then went out to eat at about 7 or so. We’re night people and so this felt, for us, like the sort of ‘late’ dinner we naturally want to have but know we shouldn’t—for us, a 10:30 dinner, but in reality, because of the time difference, a normal person hour dinner. Our hotel was right across from Planet Hollywood, so that was our base. I must say I also liked it right away. The fake buildings and fake sky. Even the mall part spoke to me in a strange way given that usually I find malls very stressful. We ended up eating at an Italian restaurant, which seated us in the fake outside part. The food was great, and the salad was probably the best I’ve ever had in my life. After that, we walked around a little and got our bearings, and then went home, showered, got ready for bed. I was exhausted, which was a great feeling: in my head, it was 1 am, and I’d been up since 6, so obviously I was tired, but the clock only said 10, so I felt very responsible. (It was more like 11 by the time I actually went to sleep but still.)

Thursday

Got up at 7 all on my own, which also felt great—of course it was 10 am in my brain. Life hack for night owls: travel west! We didn’t actually leave until about 9 though, and then we had a big breakfast/brunch at the Café Hollywood in PH, where our server very nicely let us substitute like half the menu for the breakfast we wanted. They also gave me honey with my tea, which, even though I don’t like honey, was an unexpected gesture that rather tickled me. We wandered the resort some more, looked at stores and so on, then went back to the hotel. We were planning on going to the pool but it was in the sun at the time, so we rested for an hour, and then went out and floated for a time. It felt very surreal to me to be floating in a pool in Las Vegas. Just lovely.

After the pool and quick showers, we went out to dinner, at a Mexican place, which I liked although it was a lot of food—I had an appetizer and it was way more than I could eat. Then back to the hotel to rest a little. By this time, we were starting to feel that fatigue that comes with allowing oneself any time to think while traveling. Then my friend B randomly texted me, and I got into a conversation with him, which was hilarious as he did not know I was in Vegas. Very fun to answer a question “how are you” with “I’m in las vegas.”

After that was the show, from which we crawled home at maybe 11, and I guess I must have been awake for some amount of time after but I have no recollection.

Friday

We had breakfast at the Café Hollywood again and then did some souvenir shopping. Dropped our stuff off at the hotel, and then went out adventuring. Basically I mean walking down the strip. We had lunch at the Hard Rock Café, where I had the best strawberry basil lemonade ever, and then walked down to NYNY Casino. Walked through the Park, with the metal trees, and into the casino itself, which was absolutely the most surreal thing. Like… the fake buildings do not look or feel like NYC but what do they feel like? A movie set, kinda… a stage… an adult Disney World… so fake and yet so pleasing. Street signs with famous street names just placed next to each other randomly, Greenwich next to Broadway and Broadway does not look like Broadway... and then in the middle of it all, a casino just like BAM out of nowhere. I liked it a lot but I’m not sad I didn’t stay there. I liked having my little home to come back to.

We wanted to see what the Paris one looked like, to compare, plus it was on our way back, but at this point walking back through the hottest part of the day was just…exhausting. We stopped in briefly in the Cosmopolitan just to cool down—it was very black and shiny and full of crystals. Paris itself was underwhelming; it didn’t feel like Paris, obviously, but it also didn’t feel like a Paris replica either. Maybe the comparatively interesting parts were just somewhere else, we seemed to basically be in the casino, but we were tired, so we just left and headed to the hotel at this point. We walked through PH first and I got a maple ice latte, yogurt, and banana muffin, all delicious.

After some rest, we went out again for dinner, even though we weren’t really hungry, but neither were we not hungry. For me at least, I felt like I should eat, more than that I wanted to eat. If/when I do Vegas again, I’ll do two meals a day—it works out much better. Mostly what I wanted was a huge bowl of berries tbh. I ended up with a spinach and berry salad, which was almost the same. We went outside to watch the Bellagio fountain show from the steps of PH. I kind of wanted to be closer but the streets in Vegas are so wide and we would have had to cross two to get there, and we didn’t know if we would make it. But our view was okay regardless. We also saw several groups of showgirls walking across the street, some of them in sparkly sneakers, which was adorable.

We got back to the hotel just past 9, when most people’s Friday night was just beginning. We went back to the pool, to experience it after dark, which was weird but also very relaxing. At some points, we were the only ones there. I floated for a bit with my eyes closed and felt the most peaceful I have felt in years.

At quarter to ten, we went back upstairs to shower and pack. It was sort of a let down but also I just couldn’t think about it. I didn’t want to leave and there were things I hadn’t done that I had wanted to do but I also felt like I would need at least 2 more days to do them, because if I stayed another day I wouldn’t leave the hotel except possibly to float in the pool, I was just too exhausted. We had to get up at 4:30 for my flight, and we both got to sleep fairly late, and I at least did not sleep well at all. I kept having nightmares, none of which I can remember, and randomly waking up.

Saturday

My memories of the morning are very hazy… I had to get dressed, pack a few last minute things, stuff a granola bar in my mouth to say that I had eaten. Our taxi came up very fast after the hotel called it—literally, I was still rolling my suitcase down the incline when it was parking at the steps. And the drive to the airport was short. My mom and I said goodbye outside of security, and then I had to take a shuttle to my gates because I was, again, leaving at D. But I found everything okay and had plenty of time.

On the way back, I had a not-quite-three hour flight to Dallas first, and then a not-quite-three-hour trip to Richmond, with a 2.5 hour layover in between. So I lost two hours, and then another hour. The flights were both fine, and the layover was quite easy because the Dallas airport is very nice. A lot of signs and gigantic touchscreen information kiosk things, which told me where all the food was. So I knew right away that if I headed toward my gate, I would run into a French café first (where I had a delicious pesto pasta and chicken dish) and then a Dunkin Donuts (for some a GOOD latte and a donut, to go), and then to my gate, where I settled down with my magazine and coffee. By the time I was done it was almost time to board. We ended up sitting around for a while longer than I had wanted, and the plane got quite hot and stuffy, but once we were in the air, it was fine. I listened to music and read my magazine, and finished the article just as we were landing. My co-worker picked me up outside and drove me home, and I got back around 7 I think.

Today I have truly just been sleeping and thinking about the trip. I haven’t event unpacked yet. I’m so glad I have tomorrow off, too, because I truly couldn’t stand to go to work tomorrow, but I do think, perhaps too optimistically, that I will feel normal, or mostly normal, tomorrow.

I already miss this vacation so much but I’m so glad I went, it was honestly just about perfect, and I do feel refreshed, as a vacation should make one feel.

#the year 2019 #2019: rl

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eldritchsurveys · 6 years ago

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300.

Was your life better or worse or the same five years ago? >> My quality of life is vastly improved.

Would you rather visit NYC, LA, or Chicago? >> Los Angeles is the only one of the three that I haven’t ever been to, so I’d rather go there.

Have you ever been to Chicago? >> Yeah. It’s about a 2-3 hour drive from here, so I’ve been there a few times.

Would you ever want to live in a big city? >> Sure, as long as I can afford the cost of living. That’s usually the problem.

Does your first crush know they were your first crush? >> ---

What color is your favorite laundry basket? >> ??? I guess people can have a favourite anything, huh.

How old were you when you got your first smartphone? >> Mid-twenties sometime.

What is your favorite app on your phone? >> ---

What is the background on your phone? >> My answer to this still hasn’t changed and I’m tired of repeating it. I almost want to change my backgrounds just to have a new answer, lmao.

What is your favorite thing to do in the swimming pool? >> I don’t usually find myself in swimming pools.

Do you have a swimming pool? >> No.

What is the biggest city you've lived in (if you want to answer)? >> NYC.

Do you own an American flag shirt? >> Hell no.

Which country (or countries) has the best flag, in your opinion? >> I never bothered forming an opinion on this.

Did you get your personality from your mom or your dad, or neither? >> I was only raised by my father, so he’s the only person that could have had any influence on my personality.

Will you be eating bbq chicken this July 4th? >> I didn’t, no.

Would you rather wear red, white, or blue? >> Red.

Have you ever lit fireworks in your backyard? >> I’ve lit them in someone else’s backyard. Well, front yard.

Have you made many stupid decisions/mistakes? >> I’m sure I have.

What does your middle name rhyme with? >> ... Fallow? I had to google it and honestly most of these options sound like terrible rhymes to me.

If you had one boy and one girl, what would you name them? >> ---

Are there any redheads in your family? >> ---

Who do you know who is allergic to nuts? >> *shrug*

What is your favorite type of tree? >> I don’t have one. Weeping willows are pretty lit.

Are you superstitious? >> I’m... very much into synchronicity, but “superstitious” has the connotation that you follow specific superstitious behaviours to avoid negative consequences. Which isn’t quite the same thing as what I am.

Would you ever consider getting dreadlocks? >> I’ve considered it for years, but as much as I’d enjoy how I would look with them, I am not at all suited for that level of hair maintenance.

When was the last time you drank tea? >> I don’t remember. Definitely some time before summer began.

Have you downloaded extra fonts for your computer? >> No.

Do you have photoshop? >> No. Although it might still be installed on my other computer. I just don’t use it anymore.

What type of phone do you have? >> Moto g6 or something.

What is one interesting fact about you? >> I was born with 12 fingers.

What color are your walls? >> Some off-white shade.

Who taught you how to drive a car? >> I was never taught at all.

What is your favorite candy bar? >> I don’t have one.

At what time of day do you feel the best? >> My feelings are rarely dependent on the time of day.

Are there a lot of mosquitoes where you live? >> Not that I’ve noticed.

What does your swimsuit look like? >> ---

What clothing store do you shop at the most? >> None.

Who is the latest great youtuber you've discovered? >> I just discovered exurb1a and I now love that channel.

Do you read the Bible regularly? >> No.

What color is your dresser? >> It’s beige. I didn’t pick it, it’s part of a set Sparrow has.

Do you own any antique furniture? >> No.

Would you ever want to live in a castle? >> No. Who the hell is going to maintain a whole ass castle? Not I.

What is your favorite cold drink from Starbucks? >> I don’t drink Starbucks.

Do you consider yourself "trendy"? >> No.

Name three patriotic songs you like. >> I don’t like any patriotic songs. Although I will admit Battle Hymn of the Republic kinda slaps. So does Dixie. :|

What is your favorite flavor of ice cream? >> I guess vanilla bean.

Do you like your hair better long or short? >> I can only deal with it when it’s short.

Do you like your hair better curly or straight? >> ---

Which major holiday is closest to your birthday? >> Memorial Day. :|

Have you ever had an outdoor birthday party? >> No.

Has it ever snowed on your birthday? >> No. That’d be awful.

Do you like the way your name is spelled? >> Of course.

Are you close with any of your cousins? >> ---

Who is your favorite cousin? >> ---

Do you really think that light blonde is the best hair color? >> No???

Do you think that blue eyes are the prettiest? >> Nope!

#surveys #survey #random survey

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artificialqueens · 7 years ago

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Sit back and watch the bed burn (Craquaria) - SamWhity

A/N: I originally planned to write this story following the timeline of my other oneshots but the plot somehow changed while I was writing it and this is the final result. I hope you’ll enjoy it. :) The title comes once again from a song by Florence + The Machine called “Kiss with a fist”

Summary: Just while the older one was turning to face her, their lips crashed. It was unexpected, messy and awkward but they couldn’t let go. They spent a couple of minutes like that, looking at each other, connected by the lips and afraid to ruin the strange magic of such a precious moment. Or: Miz Cracker checks on Aquaria after filming and end up taking big life decisions.

“Have you guys heard from Aquaria?”.

Yuhua’s question broke an otherwise comfortable silence, while the queen, Monét, Miz Cracker, Dusty and her husband were having brunch. Monét took a spoonful of guacamole and put it on her gluten-free toast, before answering.

“I tried to call her yesterday but she hasn’t answered or called me back”, she said, before frowning and adding: “Do you guys think she’s not okay?”.

Dusty’s husband took a sip of his Mimosa, before sighing.

“You haven’t heard it from me”, he started, causing the others to look at him perplexed, “but it seems that she’s not doing well, after the last days of filming. Susanne is kinda worried, actually. You know, Aquaria is like the baby of them all…” he finished his sentence with a snort.

Miz Cracker sighed, before setting her fork down and taking a sip of her coffee.

“I’ll ask Katelyn”, she claimed.

Her relationship with Aquaria was a delicate balance of affection, admiration and shade she sometimes still struggled to understand: knowing the younger one wasn’t feeling well and decided not to call her made her heart clench in an unexpected way.

They ate their food in silence, before Yuhua asked: “Should we check on her?”.

Dusty nodded, before adding: “Maybe we should”.

Monét took a piece of fruit, before mumbling: “It’s maybe best if we ask Katelyn to call her or whatever. We all know how defensive she can get”.

Despite her cocky attitude, everyone who knew Aquaria well enough was aware of her deep insecurities and of all the, sometimes unhealthy, ways she tried to cope with them. The young queen used to hang out with loud personalities and motherly figures in order to feel safe enough to be herself and, when put under a certain amount of pressure, she tended to push people out of her life. After coming back from filming, she immediately started working again and managed to always find an excuse when invited to meet up with the rest of her NYC season sisters. They all got to see her new photos, they heard all about her wonderful performances but they never got to see her for long enough to have an actual conversation with her. Only Monét, being her loving and bubbly self, managed to exchange a couple of words with her young friend, during a Frankie Sharp event, and all the other one said, before running away, was: “I know, I’m sorry. I actually have to go”.

Without a word, Cracker took her phone and typed a message to her best friend, before putting the device away and sipping on her coffee.

“And now we wait”, she sighed.

Miz Cracker, 11:30 am: Have you heard from Aquaria? Could you please check on her?

Katelyn’s answer came a couple of minutes later.

Katelyn, 11:33 am: I tried to call and got a message saying she’s not feeling 100%. Maybe flu.

A second message was sent right after the first.

Katelyn, 11:34 am: I don’t buy it. I can stop by, bringing soup or whatever.

“Katelyn is stopping by. I’ll keep you posted”, Cracker said, before turning to Monét in desperate need of a change of subject: “Now, how was the show yesterday?”.

Katelyn came back home soon after Cracker, carrying a plastic bag with a couple of now empty Tupperware containers. The girl seemed tired and worried, much to the other one’s despair.

“What happened?”, asked the queen, as soon as her best friend sat on the couch with her.

The blonde shrugged, before answering: “So, I stopped by with soup and stuff, right?”.

Miz Cracker nodded, waiting to hear the rest of the story.

“Aquaria looked tired, she said it was the flu but… “she suddenly stopped, trying to find the right words, before finishing her sentence: “I don’t know. I’m not totally sold. I think it has to do with the show and her anxiety. She said something to me…”.

“What? What did she say?” the queen asked, interrupting her friend.

“She said something about disappointing the people she loves and feeling bad about things” Katelyn tried to recall.

“Things?” Cracker asked, hesitant and somehow worried.

The other one shrugged, before adding: “Maybe you should go. Or Monét. Just don’t send Yuhua! She’s sweet and lovely and stuff but…”.

“Yeah, definitely not Yuhua” Miz Cracker agreed, before smiling softly and adding: “Thanks for stepping in, Kat”.

Katelyn smiled back, before murmuring: “You know I love her, we all do. Some more than others”, she teased, before getting up and asking: “How about a cup of tea?”.

The following day, Miz Cracker wrote a quick message to Aquaria letting her know she would have stopped by to check on her. Needles to say, the other one didn’t seem thrilled about it.

Aquaria, 10:47 am: It’s not necessary. It’s just some stupid flu.

The queen rolled her eyes, before typing a quick answer.

Miz Cracker, 10:47 am: Already on my way :D

She put her phone away, before taking her keys and exiting the building.

Her phone buzzed.

Aquaria, 10:48 am: I don’t want you to get sick! It’s maybe better if we postpone…

Cracker sighed, before typing an answer.

Miz Cracker, 10:49 am: Nonsense! I’ll see you in a few :D

She made her way to the subway station: the train was arriving in the exact moment when she reached the platform, she noticed. She mindlessly put her headphones on and started listening to some music.

Just like she expected,after unlocking her phone the queen found a series of messages from a certain other drag queen.

Aquaria, 10:53 am: I don’t mean to be rude but can we please postpone? Not feeling well :(

Aquaria, 10:53 am: Pleeeeease

Aquaria, 10:54 am: Are you purposefully ignoring me?

Aquaria, 10:54 am: Stop ignoring me, you hoe!

Aquaria, 10:55 am: I just got out of bed and look like crap. Please, let’s postpone

Aquaria, 10:55 am: Cracker, let’s meet with the others at the end of the week.. it’ll be fun, the NYC girls all together ;)

Aquaria, 10:56 am: I feel like you’re purposefully ignoring me and I don’t like it

Aquaria, 10:57 am: Crackeeeeer!

Miz Cracker chuckled, before sliding the phone in her pocket and exiting the train. It was a short walk to Aquaria’s apartment and the queen spent it listening to an old mix she never got to lip sync to. She rang the bell, waiting to be let in.

“Yes?” Aquaria’s voice was low and a little raspy.

“It’s me. Let me in, pretty please?” the other one asked, before adding: “Or I’ll send Yuhua to check on you”.

Needles to say, she was immediately let in.

“I love the power of those threats” she thought, pretty pleased with herself.

Cracker made her way to the elevator, pressed the button for the 23th floor and waited for the doors to close. She istinctively checked her reflection into the mirror, before sighing and mumbling: “It’s not about it, stupid”.

The doors opened with a “ding” and the queen quickly exited, before turning to the left directed to Aquaria’s apartment. She knocked, before hearing a muffled “It’s open”.

The place was cluttered but not as chaotic as one would have thought, Miz Cracker noticed. Before she could inspect any further, she was greeted by the other one.

“You shouldn’t have come”, she sighed, “What if you catch something?”

Without answering the question, the older one made her way to the sofa in the living room and patted the spot next to her.

“Come sit with me”, she said with a smile.

Aquaria sat next to her friend, looking at her nails like they were holding the secret of life itself.

“How are you feeling?”.

Cracker’s question let her lips before she could even realize it, so she just added: “I mean, for real. How are you really feeling?”.

The other one joined her on the couch, before sighing.

“I’m just tired, and sick and…” she couldn’t finish her sentence, interrupted by the older one’s voice singsonging a teasing “Cranky?”.

Aquaria scoffed, crossing her arms and pouting adorably.

“I’m not cranky”, she mumbled.

Miz Cracker smiled, before passing an arm around the younger one’s shoulders and engulfing her in a slightly awkward embrace. They remained in silence for a couple of minutes, each one lost in their thoughts, before Aquaria started talking.

“Do you ever think about how they are editing everything?” she asked, before bringing her hand to her mouth and starting to chew on her nails.

The other one took her hand in hers and sighed.

“Stop, you’ll bleed all over and nail glue burns”, she started, before tightening her grip, “You don’t have power on whatever they will decide to play, Aquaria. You can’t spend the rest of your life in this cluttered cave just because of something you can’t control”.

Aquaria pouted adorably, before muttering: “I’m actually sick, you dumb. And it’s not cluttered!”.

Cracker smiled, before continuing to speak: “Listen, you had a great run. Sure, you had your moments but you did good. And you should be proud of yourself, instead of stressing out about things you have no control over”.

The other one nodded, before snuggling into Miz’s embrace and sighing, unable to hold her tongue any longer.

“What if I fucked up? Sharon will be so mad…”.

Aquaria’s relationship with her drag mother was a sensible topic. Everybody knew it. Sharon was the younger one’s role model, inspiration and often even confidant: the pressure of making her proud sometimes kept her drag daughter from taking certain risks or trying certain things and it seemed like neither of them was aware of it. It was a delicate balance made of late phone calls, Skype hangouts and occasional meetings and Cracker couldn’t help but ask herself why Sharon hadn’t already called to check on her. Maybe she had, she thought, maybe the young queen just ignored her calls.

“Why don’t you call her?” the older one asked “I can wait here, if you want” she then offered.

“Would you really stay?” the surprise in Aquaria’s voice made the other queen smile.

“Of course”, she nodded.

With a sigh Aquaria got up and went to grab her phone, before sitting back on the sofa and biting her lips.

“Here we go”.

“Pumpkin! Are you okay? What happened?” Sharon’s voice shifted from excitement to worry in a matter of seconds, “Giovanni, talk to me”.

Cracker couldn’t hide a smile: typical Aquaria. The thought that she couldn’t open up even to her mentor made her feel a little bit better.

“I got home from filming”, the younger one’s voice broke the silence “I’m… I’m kinda…” she reached for the other one’s hand and squeezed it without even realizing it “I’m kinda freaking out” she then admitted, chewing on her lower lip.

Sharon sighed, before speaking.

“Listen”, she said “You can’t expect for everybody to like you or what you’ll put out there, it just doesn’t work like that. Just remember that you did your best, I know you did. And that we have your back. I mean, I’m an old alcoholic drag-queen but no one will come for my baby on my watch” she said, before yawning “Pumpkin I actually have to go. Skype later this evening?”.

Aquaria nodded, before answering: “Yeah, sure. Thanks for answering”.

The other one scoffed.

“Of course, you dummy! I’ll talk to you later, okay?”.

After finishing the phone call, the younger one snuggled back in that awkward but somehow comforting embrace and sighed.

“See? Everything is going to be fine. No need to segregate yourself”, Cracker smiled, before adding: “And now shower, miss thing! We’re going out!”.

The other one nodded, before reaching to hug Cracker one last time. Just while the older one was turning to face her, their lips crashed. It was unexpected, messy and awkward but they couldn’t let go. They spent a couple of minutes like that, looking at each other, connected by the lips and afraid to ruin the strange magic of such a precious moment.

The older one moved slightly and, before Aquaria could even think about what to say, she said: “Go take your shower, okay?”.

There was an affectionate softness in her voice that made Aquaria nod and got up without a word.

Alone in the room, Cracker sighed.

“Shit” she murmured, before taking her phone and ignoring the message from her boyfriend just to quickly write to Katelyn.

Miz Cracker, 11:58 am: I think I like her. A lot. Shit. Talk to you when I get back.

That same evening, after a long chat with Katelyn, just before he was heading to bed, Cracker found a message on her phone.

Sharon Needles, 11:37 pm: I don’t know what is going on between you and Aquaria. I actually don’t even know if there actually is something going on but still… thank you. She’s all over the place, right now. Having someone to lean on that isn’t a dumb club-kid with ego problems is a good thing for her.

A second text quickly followed the first one.

Sharon Needles, 11:41 pm: Having said that, hurt my baby and you’ll be dead in a ditch.

She smiled, before opening another conversation and typing a message.

Miz Cracker, 11:43 pm: I think we need to talk.

The answer came in pretty quickly.

Jason, 11:45 pm: Are you okay? What happened?

The queen sighed, before receiving a second text, this time from someone else.

Aquaria, 11:46 pm: Thanks for stopping by and putting up with my dumb self. I’m sorry for what happened, I didn’t mean to, I know you have a boyfriend and stuff. Please don’t be mad at me, or at yourself. Please don’t be mad at yourself, Maxwell. I promise I’ll keep my distance and stuff, okay? Just please don’t be mad.

“Shit”, he mumbled, before abandoning the idea of going to sleep and sitting on the couch with her phone in her hands. She somehow had to sort that mess out.

Miz Cracker, 11:47 pm: I’m not mad. I just need to process everything. But I’m not mad and I don’t want you to keep any kind of distance. Please don’t keep your distance. I’ll see you soon, okay? I kinda feel like we have to talk.

Miz Cracker, 11:48 pm: I think we need to talk. Something happened and I would really much love to talk to you in person. Please don’t freak out.

Aquaria, 11:48 pm: Okay. I’ll wait for you.

Cracker smiled, before noticing another string of texts.

Jason, 11:48 pm: Now I am freaking out.

Jason, 11:49 pm: Can’t you just tell me what happened?

Jason, 11:50 pm: Baby, are you okay?

Jason, 11:50 pm: I feel like I need to come over. Can I stop by?

Cracker sighed, before answering.

Miz Cracker, 11:51 pm: Okay. Please bring coffee.

It was definitely going to be a long night.

Jason left after two hours of recriminations, screaming and tears. Words like “how could you?” and “it’s all so fucked up!” were also said and the man left the apartment just in time for the neighbours to say: “Do you actually know that people are sleeping? Have some respect!” and them being greeted with a grunt that sounded a lot like “Fuck you”.

Needless to say, Miz Cracker was exhausted and sad. In the year they had dated it never occurred to her that she could have been the one ending things. Not because she couldn’t stop herself for falling for someone younger than her and so incredibly endearing without even knowing it. Not because she kissed Aquaria and suddenly realized there was so much more to their relationship that just admiration. Funnily enough, she was the last one to realize the actual nature of her feelings and even her room-mate, a big supporter of Jason, smiled sadly and nodded when she brought up the fact that she was thinking about breaking up with him.

“It was the honest thing to do”, she mumbled to herself, before turning to Katelyn and smiling apologetically: “Sorry again for the noise, Katelyn”.

The other one shrugged, before hugging her tightly and patting her back.

“It’s okay. Do you want to talk about it?”, she asked, “It looks like we won’t be able to catch much sleep anyway”.

Cracker sighed.

“Not really. I kinda need to figure shit out. You should go to sleep, I need to make a call” she then moved to her room and closed the door.

Aquaria answered immediately.

“Are you okay?” she asked concerned, before mumbling: “Of course you’re not okay. Stupid question. I’m so sorry, I really am”.

The other one sighed, before deciding to bite the bullet.

“I need you to be honest with me. No bullshit.” she said, then added: “I broke up with Jason. I did it because I like you and I couldn’t be with him and still like you the way I do.”

“Okay” the younger one murmured.

“I feel like you like me too, and we both know what I mean with that” Cracker continued, not even noticing that she was raising her voice.

“I do”, Aquaria’s, on the contrary, lowered her voice.

“I know that you’re scared. Because of the show, because of this, because of things. I know it and I get it” Miz Cracker closed her eyes, before sighing and mumbling: “And I am too, but I thought… maybe we could be scared together?”.

Aquaria, laying in bed in her allegedly cluttered apartment, smiled. This was the Cracker she loved: this kind, humble and frankly adorable human being who was willing to trust her enough to share her fears with her. Maybe, she thought, they could make it work. Maybe they could really be scared together.

“I have a photo-shoot tomorrow. In front of the MET. Wanna meet up after that?” she asked softly, before adding: “I kinda feel like I want to tell you this in person…”.

“Tell me what?” the other one asked, slightly panicking.

“That I would love to be scared together with you. Because I like you a lot and…”.

Aquaria’s awkward speech was cut short by Miz Cracker.

“I’ll be there”, she said, before noticing how late it was and continuing: “Now go to bed, Aqua. We’ll talk later, okay?”.

A couple of minutes later, just when she thought she was finally falling asleep, the older one got a last message with an audio attached and, after listening to the track and reading the note, she couldn’t stop smiling.

Aquaria, 01:43 am: My mum used to listen to this song on repeat, when I was a kid. It says “because you’re special and I’ll take care of you”. Consider it your lullaby for the night. Yes, I’m dumb and corny and you can still run away from it.

Aquaria, 01:44 am: Please don’t run away, though.

She quickly typed an answer, before finally closing her eyes and falling asleep.

Miz Cracker, 01:44 am: I’m not going anywhere except to sleep. Goodnight, Giovanni.

A/N (2): Susanne is obviously Susanne Bartsch, club owner extraordinaire and creator of thos amazing lashes we all saw Aquaria, Milk and Hungry wearing. Here you can take a look at her Instagram. Also: I absolutely adore Yuhua but I needed someone to poke a little fun at and she was like the perfect (little) candidate. No bashing intended. Same goes for Cracker’s boyfriend, whose name I came up with. ;) The song Aquaria sends Cracker is an italian song called “La cura” by an incredible song-writer called Franco Battiato. It’s really beautiful and you can listen to it here.

#samwhity #craquaria #fluff #hurt/comfort #aquaria #miz cracker #rpdr fanfiction #canon compliant #s10

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