#neither of us have anything posted. so maybe im crazy. but im checking just so she gets the notification

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

Staring at the screen thinking, "You can reach out! Please reach out! I'm here, I will always be here for you, please message me. Please."

[star-mum]

How Ep 7 should’ve actually happened if not for Plot™

OKAY– so I was going to write this as like a scene rewrite BUT i don't want to sksksksks soooorry :D EITHER WAY LET'S GET TO IT BABIES

posting this specially for my angels @pinkchubbiebunnie and @trice-divergent thank you so much for letting me take so much of y'alls time with my bullshit :3

For the purpose of this, I’m going to assume the accusation scene happens somewhat similarly, but the only one who's actually suspicious of Jason is Rachel, cause her thing is directly linked to him and she's more angry and upset than anything. The others will bring the stuff that happened to them but more as in a “huh… something hinky is going on here” and maybe try to investigate it properly

A day after Jason almost dies NO ONE has talked to him until Dawn asks Dick to do it, neither her or Kory seem sure he’s okay enough to do a good job at it – he's obviously distracted with something else. Which leads me to my first 2 points: 1. at least one of them would take that as a clue someone should do a follow up with Jason after Dick talks to him and 2. it's crazy to think that NO ONE ELSE in the entire team didn't even try to check up on Jason – specially Gar or Dawn – that’s stupid at the least and INCREDIBLY out of character at most.

So with that in mind, I'm going to do a character by character “analysis” to show what I think really happened, in an AU where events aren't controlled by Plot™. I'm so glad this is what I'm currently using my psychology education for !! hooray !!

Dick Grayson

i can't say for sure how much of this is an accurate read on Dick’s personality or and how much is just wishful thinking on my part but let's get to it

Even though Dick is – clearly – going through some stuff I think he’d try to be a little more honest with Jason, like actually talk in complete sentences for one, but also actually make sure Jason at least heard him before he bolts out the building. He could've done more, this whole episode Dick is so worried about the past and its implications on him now that he completely ignores pretty obvious warning signs. There's I think 2 things he says that IF FOLLOWED UP BY ACTUAL SENTENCES could have actually meant something:

“Good thing Conner was there -> “Im sorry” SORRY FOR WHAT?????? BE CLEARER PLEASE !!!! Dick does feel responsible for Jason’s kidnapping AND the fall, he knows Conner being there was pure luck, he knows what would've happened if he wasn't – they both do – so apologize like you mean it, say where you failed and what you are sorry for, you can't just hope the other person is going to guess what you meant, SPECIALLY Jason, he doesn't feel cared for, he thinks you're apologizing just to say it, HELP HIM BELIEVE YOU

“All of this is my fault for going alone” -> “No. I don't think that” This ties into the other paragraph but FINISH YOUR SENTENCES !!! SAY WHAT YOU MEAN !!! You could just be saying that to make Jason feel better, thats what hes gonna think anyways, say the words, tell him “I'm sorry I wasn't there for you” “I'm sorry I let you go” “I'm sorry I let you go alone” HE KNOWS Jason is impulsive, he really thought if he let the teens unattended nothing would’ve happen? And YES Jason is grown enough to make his own decisions this isn't ONLY on Dick BUT he could have tried to be a better mentor to him before all this happened, he should tell Jason that

“Rest up” at the risk of sounding repetitive I'm just gonna say, Dick knows Jason is training like that to keep his mind of the bad thing that happened, he’s done it too – probably still does – tell him it that even tho it can help now it won't solve everything forever, connect with him, share your failures and bad experiences with him BEFORE he’s standing on a fucking ledge.

Hank Hall

I fell in love with Hank while writing his part, I'm so sorry

I think Hank would be the 2nd to talk to Jason. First I thought he’d go with Dawn or because she asked BUT !! ACTUALLY !! It makes more sense for it to come from him.

His whole job before coming back to the tower was helping at-risk youth was it not? I know it focused more on addiction but suicidal ideation – and life risking behavior in general – is very linked to people who suffer from any substance abuse, not to mention emotional distress/trauma can be the leading cause for developing it as a coping mechanism (look at me and my professional lingo)

He would recognize the signs, is what I'm saying here. Hank and Jason might not be super tight friends but he cares for the kid, that's clear. I can’t decide how he would approach Jason tho, it could go one of two ways: 1. he uses the training room as an excuse – either during sparring or some other training thing (?) like holding the punching bag for Jason or something, idk im not athletic – so it feels more like a conversation than an intervention AND it would be a good bonding moment for them, to show that even tho they find each other UNBEARABLE, they can still be there for one another OR 2. i did say two ways huh well the second way could be the next morning before everything blows up, he tries – although a little emotionally constipated, cause bro dudes – to have an honest conversation with Jason about the risks of isolating himself after a traumatic experience, THAT approach however – like being more direct – might “scare” Jason a little and make him lash out

Dawn Granger

At first, I had Dawn as the second person who’d talk to Jason, but now I think she’d be third. She's really good at reading people and social situations/cues, so obviously would notice Dick was acting very weird and probably didn’t talk to Jason as well as he could have BUT Hank did go to Jason first, so she’s gonna trust him to do the right thing and talk to the kid when she sees him in the morning – that is, if Hank goes right after dinner, when Jason is still training, which makes the most sense to me.

I think she’d probably talk to Hank first, to see how it went, so she has a better sense of what Jason needs to hear right now. Even if there wasn’t anything to add, she would still wait for him to show up in the common areas — I don’t think she’d go look for him, just wait until “he wants to be found” kinda deal — and the very least tell him she’s glad he’s safe, and offer him a space to talk about what happened. I don’t know how positive of an interaction this would be, but I think anyone — even Jason, in his current emotional state — would find it very hard to snap at Dawn, and IF he did she seems like the person to keep her cool and try and understand their side while still setting down boundaries (she’s so calm when speaking that you’d feel silly for raising your voice, you know?)

Kory Anders

“You're making me feel helpless and I hate feeling helpless” you cannot tell me this woman wouldn't even THINK to check on her number 1 problem child, like that's stupid. HOWEVER I can’t just ignore her reaction to Jason’s death “he made a mistake and didn't learn from it, now he's dead” which is,,, well accurate BUT the problem isn't that Jason “didn't learn his lesson” after Deathstroke, he did, just not the right one – he learned not to trust anyone but himself, people betray him, leave him for dead, accuse him without proof -> instead of learning to lean on and trust others.

So because of that I think she would talk to Jason at some point but not be very nice and sweet about it, she’d be very direct, to make sure this doesn't happen again. Like not mean either, don’t get me wrong, just direct. I think after all the weird inspirational speech vibes from Dick, Hank and Dawn, Jason would appreciate someone talking to him normally and not “babying him”. I'm assuming things don’t escalate so fast at breakfast, so Kory has time after that scene to talk to him

Like I think Kory would also wait until she sees him, instead of seeking him out, and I can definitely hear her saying something like what she said in season 3 -> “you made a mistake, now you have to learn from it, make sure you’re picking up the right lesson”. Probably the most efficient out of everyone, cause she is still holding Jason accountable for his own actions BUT she’s also letting him know he isn’t a lost cause, so even tho he might still say something annoying or even mean back, he WILL think about what she said for the rest of the day

Donna Troy

Donna follows the same like as Kory, very straightforward, although I do think she’d check up on Jason for a more “basic” line, like checking how he’s taking care of himself — if he’s eaten, drank water, also warning him about overworking himself — almost in a casual or even “acidic” way tho —> “there's leftovers in the fridge” instead of asking if he’s eaten, demanding to have the gym to herself when she notices him way too long in there, wordlessly pouring him a glass of water if she’s already getting herself some — she’s more actions than words, to me at least

Garfield Logan

OKAY SO— I realize now I should’ve probably put Gar before Dick for what I'm about to say but idk do that right now. Gar would be the first person to check on Jason after they get back AND it’d go so bad, he’s also the reason dude’s training himself half to death— I'LL EXPLAIN !!!

So Gar is an angel who cares too much for his friends, yes? Of course. AND because of that he feels INCREDIBLY responsible for what happened to Jason: he agreed to go with him check the thing out, didn’t call Dick or tell anyone else where they’d be, agreed to get separated AND didn’t fight harder to go with the older Titans — “maybe with his powers, they’d have a better chance”.

And, unlike Dick, Gar would make that abundantly clear to Jason. But it wouldn’t be well received because Jason isn’t taking Gar’s apology as “I’m sorry I didn’t do more to help you”, he’s hearing it as “sorry I didn’t save you from yourself” WHICH would make him really mad at Gar for “implying” that AND even more mad at himself for doing what he did —> arguing with Gar and then go to the training room to let off some steam from the terrible day/evening he just had

Rachel Roth

I don't know how to say this without making her seem like an asshole but I don't think she would actively check on Jason. There is already so much on her plate because of her powers, she’s still resenting him a bit for what he said, and the mirror thing happens so soon she doesn’t even HAVE time to go and talk to him. I can’t remember now when she argues with Gar but it’d definitely make her even more mad at the whole situation, even if she’s not completely aware she’s projecting that stuff onto her feeling about Jason.

Extra - Zephyr

I wasn't going to, but I love to talk about self inserts/OCs SO if my self insert Zephyr – hero name – was part of this shit show, this is the role I’d want her to play !! : D

Little context: she's my on going self insert for just about anything, literally just me but with powers – if the universe demands – and cooler hair – I missed the days of having fantasy colored hair. She always has some version of “air bending” as her power, cause I noticed that a lot of main casts don't have an air bender in their groups

I imagined her having a kinda bickering rivalry with Jason, nothing too serious but also not super buddy buddy, she doesn't go with him and Gar to check out the thing – she’s not aware they left, until Gar gets back – and when Dick leaves with the older Titans, she follows him after he told her to stay in the tower, cause her powers could be useful – and they are :3 – long story short, instead of Dick catching and then dropping Jason, she manages to stop/catch him with her powers, but before she can start either pulling him back up or lowering him to the ground, Slade sneaks up behind her and knocks her tf out and Jason free falls again. (I HAVE THIS SCENE SO CLEAR IN MY BRAIN !! ITS LIKE REALLY GRUESOME AND EVEN MORE TRAUMATIC FOR JASON :D PLZ LMK IF YOU I SHOULD EXPAND ON THIS !!)

SO— because she got her shits absolutely rocked, she would ALSO be in the medical area, in a different room from Conner, I think either Kory and Dawn would switch places to watch them both OR they would stick to Conner and Rachel would be the one keeping an eye on Zephyr. Considering that the two people who did the most to help Jason got fucking wrecked because of it, I think it’s safe to say he’d feel too guilty to visit any of them.

If we go with Rachel on Z watch duty, I think she’d maybe try and use her powers to heal her, not completely tho cause she’s still unsure about them but enough for Z to be able to at least get up next morning, so after helping Kory out with Conner, Rachel would update Z on most of what happened last night: Conner saving Jason, Dick just leaving in the middle of the night, how Jason is doing, etc.

Now Jason doesn’t really goes to breakfast, and the whole thing with Rachel happens pretty early (everyone is still in the kitchen) SO I think the time Z actually goes downstairs (??? I have no clue what the fucking layout of this tower is like) is when all the yelling starts. Like I said in the beginning, the other guys aren’t gonna accuse Jason cause,,, it doesn’t make sense, so there’s not much to defend him from — maybe just help Rachel calm down “you said he was barely leaving his room for anything other than training, what would he do that,,, now specially?”

And only after everyone else starts sharing the weird things/messages they got she tries to talk to Jason, asking him if he’s okay, if he’s eaten, the basics — in their bickering way like “when’s the last time you drank some water ? your lips look chapped as hell” “why are you looking? 👀” — and then after diffusing some of the tenseness, getting a bit more serious with the questions and genuinely apologizing for dropping him (if he tries to change subject/dismiss her/even walk from her, she’s gonna play the “i'm pretty sure I’m concussed” card so he’ll at least stay put)

[anothersylvia]

I’m Not Afraid To Cross Some Lines (Jack harlow fanfic) PART 2

 https://anothersylvia.tumblr.com/post/679441702144081920/im-not-afraid-to-cross-some-lines-jack

LINKED ABOVE IS PART ONE TO THIS STORY 

DISCLAIMERS : this is a continuation of the story between Jack Harlow and another music artist , be sure to read part one / WARNINGS : sexual content and language 

“Bitch Don’t even try to lie to me right now “ Your longtime friend and hairstylist was questioning you about the situation with Jack as she styled your hair for a virtual interview. 

“Okay sure , is there some sexual tension there , yes but I was going to do anything with him, NO !! I’m with Kyle” You reasoned 

“So you admit he is the only thing stopping you from jumping Jack’s bones ?” 

“Jack and I are really cool , I would not want to ruin that over some thirst cause one thing I know for sure is I would not be able to escape him if we ever fell out “ 

“Girl all that and you ain’t even answer my damn question” 

“Girl I don’t have time for your damn questions I need to get Kyle to talk to me “ You picked up your phone checking to see if he responded to any of your texts. Jack did not attempt to call you again after you did not pick up the morning after the strip club. 

“Just give him some space “ Your friend advised. 

“He could be getting his dick wet right now as revenge “ You pouted frustrated with the whole thing. When being interviewed later that afternoon the inevitable topic of the stripper and Jack came up. 

“You know Jack Harlow and I belong to generation now and when we out and about things get crazy , we like to have a good time but that’s all it is “ You did your utmost best to sound casual about it. 

“So if there’s nothing happening there can we maybe look forward to a collab , the fans have been begging yall “ 

“That’s been spoken about with him and I would also love to get something like that together , I love what he has going on musically and I see us making something great so a future collab is not off the table” 

“Neither is a relationship ?” The interviewer took one more chance at getting you to reveal more about what was happening between you and Jack. 

“You got jokes “ was all you said forcing a dry laugh. Thankfully the interviewer got the message and changed the subject. It was such a sticky situation to be in because you could have easily killed the rumors by talking about your relationship but you and Kyle agreed to keep it private and you were already on thin ice with him. involving the public would only make it worse. 

That same evening you drove yourself over to Kyle’s place unsure that he would even be there or be wiling to talk. Him being a gentleman at heart he could not bring himself to not let you in. 

“It’s been three days Kyle , are we not going to try talk about this ?” You sat across from him in the lounge of his apartment. 

“I don’t think I can keep being humiliated like this , it’s one thing for strangers online to question this relationship but when you start acting like you don’t believe in it either I have to ask myself if any of this is even worth it” 

“I can take that I was out of line and babe I’m really sorry for that , but you have to believe me nothing happened with Jack , I swear “ 

“Why was he calling you ?” 

“I can show you our texts babe , he just wanted to know how I was doing cause I left the strip club very tired “ You explained. 

Kyle was deep in thought across the room. You could tell he was debating with himself on whether or not he should take your word. To help him reach a decision you made your way across the room and sat beside him. 

‘‘Look at me” You gently placed your hand at the side of his neck. 

“I could have been with anyone else , but I chose you , and it is still you , not Jack and not anybody else you hear me ? I love you “ 

“And I love you to“ He brought the hand you had by his neck to his lips and planted a kiss before kissing you on the mouth. Peace fell over you as he embraced you and held you in his arms again. Now you just had to make sure you did not fuck up because what you had here was good and not worth throwing away , but how when interactions with Jack were bound to happen in the coming months due to your feature on his upcoming album. One day when you were alone at home you decided to finally reach out to Jack , it did not feel right to just leave things in the air the way you did. You figured it was the right thing to do to let him know where you stood so coming interactions would not be awkward. 

“Hey Jack , I uh .. “ You hesitated , his silence on the other end making you nervous. “What’s Poppin ?” 

“I’m gonna pretend you did not just say that”  You shared laughter on both ends falling right back into your natural flowing chemistry. 

“Look it’s been a crazy couple of weeks for me and I know I did not get back to you but I’m sure you can understand why” 

“I have an idea “ 

“Even though nothing happened , it just wasn’t a good look “ 

“Don’t have to explain “ 

“Thanks for understanding” You fiddled with the string of your hoodie. 

“I just hope you can still come to the album release party “ 

“If I do I’m bringing my man with me “ 

“Whatever you choose to do , invitation is open” 

When you it came to Jack you noticed that when moments that would call for certain reactions came along he would maintain a certain composure that would mask what he is really thinking and it drove you crazy cause you could tell every time it was happening. He would use very few words but those words would come out sounding like a lot more meaning was hidden behind them. 

“I’m glad we could talk Jack” 

“Same here y/n , be safe” 

You could end the call with a sense of relief that not only were things good between you and Kyle but you cleared the air with Jack. When the album release party came along you stuck to the statement you made of bringing Kyle with. Jack’s spirits were high When you arrived at the venue. From across the room his smile was shining through , giving you butterflies. He cleaned up well , rocking some rimless shades and his Kentucky chain over a black turtle neck look that he paired with a beige coat. When greeting him his cologne hit you like a ton of bricks. 

“So happy you’re here” He beamed , champagne in hand. 

“Happy to be here! This is my boyfriend Kyle “ You motioned with your arm hooked in his. 

“Nice to meet you , she does not shut up about you” Jack teased shaking Kyle’s hand. 

“Actually I can say the same about you” Kyle teased back light heartedly. 

“You’re both such liars “ You protested slapping Kyle’s shoulder. You were surprised at how smoothly the evening went , the ambiance was lively and bubbly , the tension between Kyle and Jack was non existent and it was beautiful to be apart of this chapter in Jack’s career. You could tell he put so much into it and you were genuinely happy that he was proud of this project. You made sure to let Jack know later that night as you were both getting drinks at the bar. 

“I’m happy I was able to be apart of this Jack” 

“Please , I should be the grateful one here “ Jack’s hand found its way on top of yours on the bar counter. “Did I tell you how beautiful you look tonight?” 

“No , I don’t believe you did “ 

Jack leaned in lowering his neck to be closer to your ear. “You’re probably the most beautiful girl in here tonight “ 

“Probably ?” You arched a brow at him. There it was again. this thing where you would forget you had eyes on you and would get lost in the chemistry you shared. 

“Have to throw that in there so your man does not jump me , but if you trying to hear what I really think , there’s an after party in my hotel room , text you the details” before you could answer Jack was gone leaving only a trail of heavenly cologne behind. You just knew if you were to check your underwear in that moment it would be soaked. Back to the thing about Jack using very few words to communicate more than what he was actually saying , you knew exactly what his invite meant. You bit your lip as you eyed Kyle on the other side of the room and sighed. Never in your life had you ever been this entangled in temptation. It was calling you by your name and weakened by your undeniable attraction to Jack you answered. Once Kyle dropped you home you made your way into the shower and prepared yourself to meet Jack at the hotel he was staying in. You were ready for whatever the night had in store although while approaching the hotel room your heart was doing backflips in your chest. All you could hear was the clicking of your heels against the marble floors , Your palms felt a bit sweaty. 

Jack opened the door to you in a black trench coat and heels to match. Your fragrance was sweet and you were in a lighter make up beat than earlier. There was a gold anklet adorning the foot of your left leg and the exposed skin on your chest let Jack know you probably weren’t wearing anything underneath your coat. 

“The trench coat huh ?” Jack smirked at the cliche , amused but still very much aroused. 

“Sorry , couldn’t get a nurse fit on such short notice” 

“Either way , we know this ends with you being naked” 

“ Just me ?” You challenged taking a step closer to Jack. In one swift motioned Jack secured his armed around your waist and pulled you into the hotel room kissing you against the door once it closed. There was no turning back and as sick as the thought was something about the fact that you weren’t supposed to be doing this elevated the experience. You had a tendency to stare at Jack’s lips a lot and right now having them on yours you had your confirmation on their softness. Jack had held your thigh up as your kiss deepened. Your breathing was heavy as Jack planted open mouth kisses along your jaw and neck. The belt of your coat came undone exposing your bare skin. 

“You understand how hard I’m about to fuck you” Jack lifted you off your feet and held your body against him to the bed where he tossed you. Stepping back to admire your figure he peeled back the rob on his body without breaking eye contact. You were pulled to the edge of the bed where Jack had your legs up on either side of him , he kissed your ankle before undoing the straps of your heels and tossing them behind him. The print visible through the tommy hilfiger briefs still on Jack was enough to send you over the edge. Jack trailed kisses down your leg down into your thighs. You had a handful of the plush bed sheets  firm in your grip as Jack flicked his tongue along your folds and wetness. 

“Fuck !” You could not hold back your praises . 

“Oh we just getting started “ Jack trailed his tongue up the length of your stomach and gave each breast a kiss before stepping back to free himself of the Tommys and throw on a condom. Jack ran his fingers along your folds feeling your wetness before he positioned himself to make his way into you. The first strokes were meant to adjust your walls to his size but once you found a rhythm it was uphill from there. Jack held you against the nearest wall , pounding you senseless. You had nothing but curse words at the tip of your tongue. He was having his way with you , pulling your hair back while slamming into you from behind and giving your ass the occasional smack but still kissing and caressing your body. Jack really wasn’t holding back with slutting you out and it was evident through out the next day. At first in the morning you woke up feeling like it must have all been a dream but the ache between your legs said otherwise. The only reason you did not stay the night was because if Kyle were to come see you in the morning and find that you did not spend the night at home after he dropped you it would raise some suspicion. Thankfully Kyle was not going to be able to see you and you would not have to explain why you had “the walk”. You did your best to avoid him for the coming weeks , blaming your work schedule and fatigue when really you were meeting Jack in secret every chance you got. Your collaboration was a fan favorite and you were set to perform it on a late night show and film a music video for it. While In your dressing room non other than Jack himself snuck in just moments before you were scheduled to be on stage. You were humming the melodies to your part of the song when he startled you. 

“Jack , what fuck we’re about to perform , someone could see you , my manager could walk in any second “ You panicked. 

“That’s why the door is locked “ He scanned your body from the bottom up licking his lips. “All you have to do is keep it in “

“Ja-” You were cut off by him locking lips with you , you were so quick to fall into the kiss stumbled backwards till your back was against a wall. The convenience of wearing a dress meant Jack could simply push your panties to the side and have his way with you. Starting off against the wall Jack pulled back with your body still in his arms and sat on the couch so you could straddle and ride him. 

“Y/n They need you and Jack out in 15 minutes but there’s no sign of him “ Your manager was on the other side of the dressing room door attempting to open it. Jack removed his hand from your mouth to let you answer while you still rode him. 

“I .. I , try , I don’t know but I’ll be out just now , I need a sec” You were stuttering through your sentence , fighting the urge to let out a moan. You pressed your lips to Jack’s to keep from making any noises worried your manager was still on the other side of the door. 

“Hurry up , they’re ready for you” 

Jack was enjoying the compromising position you were in , almost getting of from it. He held your hips in position as he came kissing your neck as an attempt to muffle any noises. It was while kissing on the mouth to the background noise of your manager impatiently knocking and calling for you that you yourself experienced your orgasm. Jack helped with pulling your dress back down , low key amused at the way in which your legs struggled the find balance in your heels after your quickie. frantically reaching for lipgloss you applied it and wiped your thighs clean with wipes. Jack also straightening out his outfit and getting himself together. 

“Come on this is live T.V, you have 3 minutes left” 

“We’re coming God Dammit” Jack yelled out fully aware that the cat was out of the bag for this one cause she would be on the other side of the door when he came out and figure the situation for herself. With no time to explain anything You and Jack rushed out the room passed your manager and stationed yourselves backstage where you were both given mics. Jack was announced and came out before you , performing his lines with his distinctive swag and confidence. 

“Give it up for the amazing Y/n” 

When you joined him the live audience cheered , happy to be witnessing the very first performance of the song. Your first time on stage with Jack was magic ,it almost felt like nobody else was with you in that moment. Everything that had transpired through out the months of talking , then finally recording together , the album release and your steamy affair felt like it came full circle and you were overwhelmed with the feeling that brought. Looking into his eyes you could feel yourself actually starting to fall for Jack. You finished off the song to a very pleased audience. 

“I’m Jack Harlow , my new album out now available on all platforms, want you to give it up for the amazing and beautiful y/n “ He hugged you on stage and the two of  shared a brief moment of eye contact in which you fought the urge to kiss. Back in your dressing room you requested to be left alone. Now seated at the very spot where your moment with Jack took place , his scent still fragrant in the couch cushions , you held one against your chest longingly with tears gathering at the corners of your eyes. 

PART 3 LINK BELOW https://www.tumblr.com/anothersylvia/679816680122318848/im-not-afraid-to-cross-some-lines-jack-harlow?source=share

[enviedear]

miss moonlight, put in a word → draco malfoy

DESCRIPTION ⌙ in which draco sees the same annoying hufflepuff he’s enamored within his dreams every night, but can’t muster up the courage to talk to her in waking life. so instead he talks to the moon, telling the rock that’s miles away, everything he wants to tell her. little does he know, she does the same thing.

PAIRING ⌙ draco x fem!reader

WORD COUNT ⌙ 3k

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

its a little angsty im sorry. but im nervous abt this and have been sitting on posting it for almost a month now so please lmk if you like it :)

based off the songs talking to the moon by bruno mars and please mr sun by tommy edwards

she waves at him, her eyes holding a happy glimmer. he walks closer to her and wraps his long arms around her, pulling her close. he breathes in her scent and she giggles. it sounds like heaven. he holds her like that for what feels like forever before she pulls away.

he watches as she sits down in the grass, patting the place beside her.

“sit draco.” she commands. he complies.

“i love it when i’m asleep. you’re here and the world is so much more peaceful.” he smiles, a real true smile. not like the ones he usually gives now.

“but imagine if we were awake. the world might not be so wonderful, but we’d have each other. and the sun. and the wind. and the trees. and missus moon.” she grins, looking up at the bright blue sky.

he wants to agree, and tell her that’s all they’ll ever need. but he knows he can’t. because truth be told he needs more. he needs to know his family will be safe. he needs to know if he’ll make it out of his sixth year alive. he needs more than the sun and moon.

instead, he places his head in her lap, relishing in the way her fingers card through his hair. she sings a song he can’t place as he falls asleep. 

“i love you y/n” he whispers, right before he dozes off.

that’s how the dreams usually end. he always slips off to sleep so peacefully in your arms. but when he wakes up, he’s still in the slytherin dorm, lonely and afraid.

yours end in the same way, and when you wake, you’re clutching your pillow as if it’s him. you don’t dare tell anyone about the dreams. your friends and family would think you mad. but it’s enough for you to be able to have them, even if you’re not sure if they’re shared or not. 

you see the way he looks in the dining hall, potions, and in passing. he’s always so monotonous. so unlike the boy you’ve grown up with.

you of course have dreams, where he’s told you everything that has happened to him. he’s confessed to you that he’s working with voldemort, for his parents' sake. he even told you about dumbledore. but no matter how much you beg him to leave that life behind, he can't. besides, you’re dreaming all of this. who’s to say it’s even real. 

so you stay away, yearning for bedtime. where you can talk to the boy you love more than anything else in the world.

you’re not sure how the dreams started but you have an idea.

and so does draco.

he reckons he must have used some sort of wandless magic the night he was thinking to himself on the astronomy tower. it had been a humid night and he was all alone. his eyes deadset on the bright moon in front of him. he had just started talking.

he knew the moon wasn’t someone that could actually listen but then again, maybe that’s what he wanted? he didn’t want someone to place any input on his situation. he just wanted to speak and let his thoughts travel into the void and maybe out from his aching head.

“i just want everything to be okay. mother deserves a son who can protect her and.. father needs me. i can’t fail.  i just wish i had someone to talk to when the sun goes down. someone kind and someone warm. i know they’re somewhere out there. but maybe all i’ll ever have is you missus moon, at night when it’s just the stars to listen in to our conversation.” the boy had mumbled, before making his way to his dorm room.

you had been having a word with missus moon that night as well, alone in your hufflepuff prefect dorm. you thought yourself lucky to have a window so that you could see the stars and the moon. you were fighting sleep and had no one else to speak to, so you watched the bright yellow moon as you recounted your troubles.

“my dreams have been so bad recently missus moon. i think it’s because i’m still so scared for everyone and myself. they say the dark lord could strike any day. i’d hate for anyone i love or even myself to end up like poor cedric. i wish i had someone to talk to, someone to understand. everyone thinks i’m crazy, but they don’t know what i know. the world is getting scary. at least when the stars light up my room i have you missus moon.” you had sighed getting off the floor and laying down in your bed.

that night draco dreamt of flower fields and you. at first, the boy wondered if maybe it was real. it seemed real. he could see you and everything around you so vividly. and the same for you, you made out his platinum hair and could smell his crisp cologne. but when the two of you awoke, you knew it couldn’t be real.

until the next night, where the both of you met again in your dreams.

“are you following me?” you had asked draco.

he narrowed his eyes at you, “how could i follow you into a dream. what a stupid thing to ask.”

“you’re supposed to be nice to me. this is my dream after all.” you had pouted.

draco snorted, “i need to stop drinking tea before bed. i’m having dreams where the people in them think they’re the ones doing the dreaming.”

“but i am the one dreaming! this is my dream. i can control it, watch!” you’d grinned, before commanding a nearby tree to grow apples.

draco’s eyes had widened, “no, this can’t be right.”

you watched as he wished for the tree to grow taller before glaring at you, “smack yourself.”

you glared back at him, “no, but you can shove your fist down your throat if you’re going to be rude.”

draco circled you, “so you don’t have to do what i tell you and neither do i. strange.”

“why would i have to do what you tell me to do in my own dream?” you’d asked.

the boy had shrugged, “maybe it’s not just your dream. maybe it’s mine too.”

that’s the most the two of you ever discussed the shared dreams. after that there wasn’t a need. you both enjoyed them. both of you needed them.

once in study hall you caught draco reading a book about dreams but you didn’t ask him about it. in truth, you were too afraid to have him label you as insane.

draco found himself wanting to speak with you too. countless times. he had grown quite fond of you after the dreams he found you in every night. so in the daytime, he would sneak glances at you. he took notice if you did your hair differently or if your makeup was done. of course, he knew he couldn’t talk to you. you’d think him mad. still, he found himself dropping subtle clues to see if you’d come over to him, like reading a ghastly book about dreams in a class the two of you shared. it hadn’t worked but he could have sworn he caught you looking his way.

draco spends hours obsessing over you, the dreams, and the few glances you would give him. but the vanishing cabinet is almost fixed and he knows it’d be foolish to speak to you now. no matter how much he wishes to run into your arms and tell you to take him away from here, he won’t. 

it’s a dreary day in june and you’re getting snacks for some of the first years when you hear it. maniacal laughter and breaking glass. your first thought is to check on your house. you rush into the hufflepuff common room and make sure everyone’s ok and then urge them to stay safe. they nod and bolt to their dorms.

then, you make your way to the source of the noise. the dining hall, which is torn to shreds, is crawling with death eaters. you feel lightheaded as you watch them. out of the corner of your eye, you see professor snape making his way to the astronomy tower.

curious, you quietly sneak behind him, careful not to make yourself known. you hear a voice above you. a voice you recognize.

draco. 

you’re trying your hardest to figure out what he’s saying but you can’t. all the sounds around you are blending together and you can’t seem to calm down enough to hear anything. when the professor reaches the tower, underneath the scene of whatever is going on, you stay behind.

in a flash, the teacher is out of your vision and upstairs in the chaos.

“severus, please.” is all you hear before the killing curse bolts out of snape’s mouth.

you stand in shock as the footsteps trail out of the tower. draco. snape. dumbledore. death eaters. it was all so much.

“y/n! are you ok?” a watery-eyed harry potter asks from beside you. you don’t even question how he got here or if he saw what you did. instead, you fling your arms around him and stare at the wall petrified. no tears can escape your eyes, you’re in disbelief.

“come on. you have to breathe and we have to get down there. get your wand ready. we have to do something!” he shouts, voice breaking.

you look at him for a second before he bolts out of the room, wand in hand.

instead of trying to fight, talking to anyone about what you saw, or even going to look at your headmaster’s dead body like everyone else, you slip quietly into your prefects dorm.

you watch the moon until she’s gone and when you see mr sun the tears finally fall. you mumble, “talk to him please, mr sun.”

draco glanced at the blinding sun from the malfoy garden, where he had spent the night. he couldn’t be in that house. not after everything that happened. so instead, he sat in the garden thinking of his best thoughts, you.

he watches the sunrise, listens to the winds and the robins singing, and mutters to himself, “tell her how i feel. it shouldn’t end this way. since you are all her friends, she’ll listen to whatever you have to say.”

a baby robin sings a little louder, almost like it’s agreeing, and it causes the boy to cry.

it’s an eerily quiet early morning in the room of requirement on the second of may. you’re in the back of the room, trying to sleep. sleep has become your only form of happiness. your dreams have become a wonderful fairytale. draco is still prevalent and he holds you tighter and tighter with each night.

almost as soon as you drift to bed, you hear gasps. you look up to find harry, ron, and hermione. without a care in the world, you rush to the three just like everyone else. harry gives you a weak smile and you return it.

the three of them explain that today is the day. today is the day the world is split into two and voldemort attacks. plans are arranged and everyone holds each other close.

selfishly, you wish you could see draco. 

minutes later, a meeting is called by snape in the dining hall. You watch as neville and ginny procure robes for the green-eyed boy and walk to the hall.

the carrows look at everyone with malice in their eyes as snape drones on about a sighting of harry in hogsmeade. soon after, harry shows himself and begins arguing with the black-haired man. he tells everyone about the night in the astronomy tower.

mcgonagall throws curses at the man along with harry before he flies out of the hall. The woman looks at all of us, eyes wide but determined.

in a rush, everyone is scattered about. you follow neville to the bridge and help as much as you can. when the death eaters, led by greyback, enter hogwarts, you stand your ground. you’re ready to fight.

draco easily locates blaise and goyle before heading off to find his wand and harry potter. his chest aches with looming fear but he tries to repress it the most he can.

“i guess this is it boys.” blaise sighs.

draco looks at his friend, “we’ll be fine. just stay safe and together. don’t go weak on me now zabini.”

you’re doing your best to fight off corban yaxley but every time you’re ready to throw a killing blow his way he narrowly hits you with the killing curse. your fighting in a state of pure unadulterated anger. it’s been hours of fighting but your anger remains.

“stupid little girl, you’ll be dead before nightfall.” yaxley spits before hitting you with a weak spell. 

you still double over a bit, but hold your ground enough to raise your wand and hit him with the cruciatus curse. in the corner of your eye you watch professor flintwick begin dueling the vicious man, before running inside the castle.

fire burns everywhere around draco. he’s about to turn to blaise and say his goodbyes before potter snatches him up and leads him out of the room of requirement. the second he’s on the ground he makes a run for it. he loses blaise on the way and can’t seem to figure out where to go. he’s on the second floor, tears are pooling out of his eyes and the ache in his chest has grown when his body collides with another.

you fall back, hitting your head against the hard stone of the castle floor. when you look up, your vision is hazy and shaky.

“y/n?”

you know that voice. it’s the same voice you’ve heard every single night for a year.

“draco?” you ask, hands reaching out.

“you’re bleeding. let me help,” he says before gently healing your head.

you stare at the boy, “you know it feels weird to see you. i’ve never really spoken to you besides the dreams.”

his eyes grow wide, “you know about those?”

you smile a little, “yeah, i do.”

the two of you find yourselves entering the great hall, helping whoever you two can.

draco is comforting a teary-eyed second year when blaise zabini comes in, eyes bloodshot and clutching his right arm.

you watch as the two embrace, pulling apart so that draco can tend to his arm.

minutes that feel like hours pass as the three of you silently process the commotion going on around you.

a tattered luna lovegood emerges through the rubble and towards the three of you.

“everyone’s outside now- harry he... i think you all should come with me.” her shaky voice requests.

draco looks to you and nods, helping you rise. his hand grasps yours and you all follow luna outside.

all around you is destruction. the place you’ve called home for years in now a bruised battleground and at the very center of it stands the man you’ve come to fear more than anything in the world. voldemort. 

“harry potter, is dead.” the creature laughs.

you grip draco tighter and he looks at you with an expression of sorrow.

“from this day forth you put your faith in me. and now is the time to declare yourself! come forward and join us. or die.” the man spits, smiling at the broken faces opposite him.”

it is quiet for just a moment before lucius malfoy calls for his son. you watch the man and his wife plead with him. but his hand remains in yours and feet right beside you.

you look up at him and give him your brightest smile, a smile you would give him in dreams. as he peers down at you he knows that nothing in the world means more to him than you and that smile he’s spent hours telling missus moon about.

“you insolent boy, draco!” the snake-like man hisses.

you turn to face him, eyes wide with fury and hate.

neville begins limping toward the band of villains.

“i’d like to say something.” the boys breathes out.

voldemort smirks at him, “well neville i’m sure we’d all be fascinated to hear what you have to say.”

“you’re wrong! harry’s heart did beat for us, for all of us!” and with that, he pulls the sword of godric gryffindor out of the sorting hat he’s been clutching and aims it at the deatheaters and their leader.

draco’s head cranes in harry’s direction, and in an instant, the boy flies out of hagrid’s arms and throws a spell at voldemort.

you cry out along with everyone else before watching voldemort’s followers disappear.

“come on, we’ve fought enough. i won’t let you die now!” draco commands, leading you to the bridge.

you follow, but turn to look at the castle one last time. draco stops as well and you see him meet ron and hermione’s gaze. ron nods his head and draco returns the gesture.

“let’s go draco.” you sigh.

he didn’t know he’d see you again. the two of you had gone to your home to bathe and sleep and when the boy found himself in his dreams, he saw you.

you smile at the platinum haired boy, “sit draco.”

he complies. 

“i hope you haven’t gotten tired of seeing me. i suppose it will be a lot now. to have me in waking and in sleep.” you giggle.

draco stares at you deeply, “i could never get tired of you. i’ve spent a year talking to the moon, trying to get you. in hopes you're on the other side, talking to me too. i’ve asked the sun to tell you all the things i couldn’t, the wind to whisper all the things i love about you, all the rainbows to make you smile, and the trees to take you under their branches. i’d want nothing more than this.”

you lean your head on his shoulder, “i’m here now and we have eternity to tell eachother the things we haven’t said yet.”

the two of you can’t help but to stare at the moon some nights, silently thanking missus moonlight for putting in a word.

[familyagrestefanblog]

Miraculous Shanghai theories and analysis

All those leaks and informations we got for the Shanghai special caught my interest BIG TIME and I wanted to post my theories and thoughts before it airs.

Just as a warning, I wrote all of this yesterday before the new promo poster got released this morning but fortunately it's doesn't disprove anything I'm about to say.

So let's go!

Let's start with my tamest theory of this post to clear the track for the batshit craziness that gonna follow: The Peacock miraculous will be involved in the Shanghai special as well.

This doesn't necessarily mean that we will see Mayura but at the very least the Peacock miraculous will be brought up.

I'm certain of this because of two things:

1. The specials logo

It's nothing wild. The yin-yang is obviously Ladybug and Chat Noir and when we cross out the other rainbow colors of the Renling promo pic we are left with two colors: Hawkmoths purple and Mayuras blue.

And 2. In a trailer we saw Gabriel in an old ruin which definitely could be the Guardian temple before Ladybug restores it in "Feast" (the special takes place somewhere in between s2 and s3 so that checks out).

Maybe he goes back to where they found their two miraculous and the Grimoire and then checks out the ruins (cuz honestly why not?) or maybe he is on his way to the creepy underground place. We will see.

Okay but now, let's start with the good stuff! :D

I'm putting it under "continue reading" because it's quite alot and it gets... specific lol

Let's continue with the Renlings and the fact that this time around we are not going to get a new Miracle Box but they are all combined into ONE Miraculous.

That may sounds incredibly overpowered and out of nowhere without context but I think I might now what we are looking at.

The Renlings were called the Kwamis "cousins" so we have to go back to the Chinese Zodiac our Miracle box is based on, because it isn't only made of 12 animals. Cause our 12 animals are also segmented under 8 guardians of the zodiac. And how many Renlings to we get? 8.

Four of these Zodiac guardians are assigned to 2 animals and the other four guard one.

They are segmented as the following:

Thousand Hands Guan Yin - Rat

Akasagarbha Bodhisattva - Ox & Tiger

Manjusri Bodhisattva- Rabbit

Samantabhadra Bodhisattva- Dragon & Snake

Mahasthamaprapta Bodhisattva- Horse

Vairochana Buddha - Goat & Monkey

Acalanatha - Rooster

Amitabha Buddha - Dog & pig

But let me get back to this later.

Unfortunately I legitimately can not explain why these particular animals were chosen to represent the guardians. All I can say is that my initial thought still holds up and the monkey, bear, tiger, dragon, mantis, snake, horse and hawk (look im calling it a hawk in this post idk) are all martial art styles. But they neither belong to one group nor is one of the groups complete.

Maybe I just missed something here (which is definitely possible) but I just can't find the reason for these animals for the guardians. Beside the Dragon as most important one of course, but that's a given.

Anyway, let's continue. A detail that can support my zodiac guardian theory is that while we can only see two animal circles in the promo pic entirely, one of the two has ONE DOT in its picture and the other one has TWO.

Signifying for how many Kwamis the one guardian is assigned to? Possibly.

The dragon in the middle is shown with 8 dots all together, that means is it fair to say that the dragon functions as the main guardian that combines them all. That explains why our new girl for the special has a 8-in-1 Miraculous, why her eyes change for each Renling and why she is trained so professionally.

We don't know yet why the Renlings are all put into one Miraculous, since they work differently from the Kwamis, but I have this thought that the Renlings (in their ONE necklace) were created because of what happened to the guardian temple almost 200 years ago.

Countless Miracle Boxes were lost that day and Fu's Box with the Ladybug and Cat were thought so as well. Possibly the Renlings were an attempt to recreate the powers of at the very least the lost zodiac Kwamis. The Dragon was made into the main guardian and is supposed to step in place for the LB and Cat as we can see on its different color coding echoing the yin-yang, but It obviously didn't work and the Renlings neither possess the same powers or can they be put in separate Miraculous nor is the Dragon a healthy replacement for the yin-yang.

But is was a desperate attempt in a situation that was believed to be lost and I find that thought exciting!

(Btw i have a similar theory for the Superheros from the New York special but that's a theory for another day)

Where to continue, where to continue?

Alright let's stay with the 8 Dragon dots because THOSE caught my interest in more than one way.

As I already said, I think the 4 white dots and 4 block ones stand for the 2 types of zodiac guardians, but now let's take a look at the animal circles surrounding the dragon.

We can see the Bear, the Hawk and a bit of another one between the Bear and Chat Noir in addition to the Dragon. These four circles have animal pictures that are completely colored in (just like the dragon brighter dots)

And now look closely at the animal circles around Chats head. Those are not colored in! Just like the other four Dragon dots. So isn't in interesting that they had our two leads basically hide those four particular animal circles? Almost as if there is a reason for this, huh?

And you know, I looked further and maybe I found something here. And for this let's take another look at the Renlings, shall we?

Four of these Renlings have something in common with our two main characters, can you guess what?

I'll give a hint: The eyes.

I compared all the promo picks we got from the Renlings and noticed that:

1. The snake and the horse have blue eyes like Marinette

2. The monkey has green eyes like Adrien

And 3. The Mantis is the only Renling with special eyes like Chat

The other 4 Renlings have brown eyes in different shades.

But this on it own isn't too exciting. So what if some Renlings share the same eyes as our leads? Well, would you believe it? When I filled in the placements of the other animals circles, through a shot we got in the leaks, I noticed that those 4 Renlings that shear their eyes with Marinette and Adrien are ALSO the 4 animal circles our leads just so happen to hide from us.

How interesting

But that not all I got. Not even CLOSE, I'm just getting started here!

Because not only do Marinettes Snake & Horse and Adriens Monkey & Mantis stand out here, oh no, it gets BETTER!

Now let's take the two promo pics from the Renlings we got where they are finished and colorized.

Did you know that both times they are put in the same formation, just with slightly swapped placement among the Renlings?

And once again here one could say "So what? They were lazy while designing the pics, that's it" but NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH hear me out!

Not only are the Renlings put both times into the same formation, the way they switched their placements isn't random at all:

1. Marinettes Snake and Horse stay both times on exactly the same spot.

2. The tiger and the bear switch places

3. So do the dragon and monkey

4. And the mantis and hawk.

The way the Renlings are shown to us on the promo pics is anything BUT random and that is something that will always get me interested! :D

But you know what? I'm still not done yet. Let's continue with this creepy ass stone door we see Gabriel at

Because as I mentioned, while Marinettes Snake and Horse stay unchanged in their formations, Adriens Monkey and Mantis not only do change places but they aren't paired with another either. So does that mean that Adriens guardian Renlings are just inconsistent? No, not at all. They just have a different meaning and place then Marinettes.

First of all: the Renlings special hair is bright green, just like the color of the tiger (a CAT) on the rainbow scale we got and Adriens/Chats + Monkey & Mantis eyes. And second: in the other promo pic the Renlings have a pink background, just like the rainbow scale color or the Mantis!

Coincidence? I don't care anymore, next point! :D

Because not only THAT but when we take a closer look at the creepy stone door we can make out the placement of every guardian animal as well. And MY, is this fascinating:

As the colors make it clear when you compare these guardian animal door placements to the rainbow scale from the promo pic, here Adriens Monkey & Mantis are in the right places but Marinettes animals are a bit off.

In fact. Everything about the placements of the animals (besides Adriens) are just a bit off.

- Marinettes animals and the bear are almost in the right place just mirror-reversed.

- The Tiger and the Hawk are one place too left.

- And the Dragon shouldn't be in the middle, it should take the place between Adriens animals but it was forced out of position to replace the yin-yang.

But taking the dragon out broke the balance of the animal circle. Everything here is slightly off by one point and that is much more significant than you would initially think. Because when you now turn the whole circle one quarter to the left (there is a reason for it, trust me) and put the dragon back in place then you will get a good part of the picture I've been looking for a long while.

What I'm showing you here are the 4 Chinese creatures of the cardinal directions and they are basically what I would expect to be on the upper layer of a Chinese Miracle box (I'll get to this on another day). And as you can see here, we are basically almost there aren't we?

The tiger of the West and Dragon of the east are in place and while the creature of the North is normally the turtle it is always accompanied by a snake, which is now on the upper place.

"but what about the bear? And a snake is NOT a turtle!" I'm getting to it, my goodness :/

Regarding the bear one thing needs to be said: it is definitely true, the bear is in the wrong place. I don't even know why there is a bear in this formation in the first place and it stuck out to me since day one. The creature of the south is a bird, the HAWK should be here.

But there is a difference between "this thing is in the wrong place and completely random wtf??" and "This thing is in the wrong place but I can see a pattern continuing from other formations that are off as well".

The bear is not only here, it's also:

- alongside the tiger (who is btw suspicious af as well) covering the center points from the Renlings formation that should belong to Adriens animals.

- is with Marinettes animals the only other one that is basically on it right place on the creepy stone door, just mirror-reversed.

-is the new "peak" of the zodiac guardian animal circles because moving the dragon out to the middle left the other ones off-balance and now its kinda tilted to the left. But when we look at the creepy door with not corrected animal placements we see that this was indeed the hawks place. And remember as well, the bear and the hawk are the only two animal circles we see in the promo pic besides the dragon

Meaning in short: That damn bear stole the hawks place and I need it to stop.

Which brings me to the turtle and a whole new can of worms (miraculous should pay me for this omfg...).

Because what if I tell you that the snake, who is normally just accompanying the turtle, being the creature of the north here instead of the turtle is not only "okay enough" it is actually the needed puzzle piece to connect this zodiac Renlings circle with the Chinese Miracle box in the design master Fu had it?

Let me explain

Do you remember when I started talking about the Renlings I said I would come back to the way the rl zodiac guardians are paired with the zodiac animals "later"? Well, later is NOW, because there is one more way those 8 dots from that damn dragon caught my interest and it also explains why I just turned the guardian stone circle one quarter to the left.

Because believe and behold, this is not the only place where things are "slightly off".

A while I started taking closer looks and research on the original miracle box design and the Kwami spirit circle we saw in "Sandboy".

I will try to not go into unnecessary details with this now because all of that needs its own post. I'm already going off the hooks with this one. But just like here I noticed with these two things rather quickly that "things are slightly off, but in a suspiciously systematic way".

Going straight ahead to the example I'm talking about, the order the 12 zodiac animals follow on the side of the box is straight up upside-down. The first zodiac animal is the rat (or mouse) and the last one the pig and YET in the box the rat is right at the bottom and the pig on the top.

This upside down arrangement of the animals results in the wrong animals being the 4 who have a guardian assigned for themselves

The four single miraculous in between the 4 directions are obviously the ones I'm talking about. Here they are Tiger, Snake, Pig, Monkey (I hope you are making a connection here) but that's wrong, as are the other 4x2 ones.

BUT

When we now flip it upside down again, having the rat start on the pigs place and the pig end on the rats, then things suddenly are correct.

Here the rl guardian pairings again:

Thousand Hands Guan Yin - Rat

Akasagarbha Bodhisattva - Ox & Tiger

Manjusri Bodhisattva- Rabbit

Samantabhadra Bodhisattva- Dragon & Snake

Mahasthamaprapta Bodhisattva- Horse

Vairochana Buddha - Goat & Monkey

Acalanatha - Rooster

Amitabha Buddha - Dog & pig

As you can see, now it's correct.

You may wonder what this has to do with the Dragon dots, so lets look at the Kwami spirit circle next.

I've been analyzing and taking this thing apart now for MONTHS now. And while I'm certainly having a blast, the fact that I now officially have an entire FOLDER at home dedicated to this thing alone is quite...

Bruh...

But thankfully we will really only need the basics for this theory here.

Through zooming in and watching the "Sandboy" Kwami spirit World scenes over and over again I was able to figure out the placement of each Kwami.

When you now follow the moons in the middle towards the Kwamis you will notice that only the moon at the top alignes with one and that's DUUSU. The other 4 miss the Kwamis just by a bit.

But remember what I said the entire time. Everything is just slightly off by ONE little factor but when we "fixed" that factor for the stone wall there was still something left that didn't fit. That's because not only are the Shanghai zodiac guardians structures off, it was built on top of a structure that is ALREADY slightly off by another factor!

Something is fundamentally WRONG with Kwami balance in the current ml universe and what I think happened to throw everything off is NOOROO.

Keeping this point short for everybodys sanity, in the french version of "Sandboy" we find out that Nooroo is having his 3500 cycle birthday and him being the Kwami which gets its birthday pointed out is no coincidence. (Guys please just go with me here, I really dont have the strenght to elaborate on this now as well)

So when Nooroo is the factor that brought imbalance to the Kwami system then how does the spirit circle look like WITHOUT Nooroo?

Now THIS is more like it!

Without Nooroo the size of the circle changes slightly all around and now the other 4 moons align with the Dragon, rat, chicken and horse.

And believe it or not, but take a guess what it looks like when we now highlight these 4 Kwamis in the arrangement of the 12 zodiac Kwamis both upside down and correct?

It's the 2 types of Dragon dots.

And let's take this further. When the 12 Zodiac Kwamis are upside down then so is obviously the entire upper layer of the Miracle box as well, which explains why, although the 5 Miraculous places around the yin-yang are based on the 5 chinese elements, the way they are arranged here is once again upside down.

Meaning the yin-yang is upside down as well, but not only that. I always found it weird that the yin-yang here is placed SIDEWAYS when this is not exactly the normal way of showing it.

So when we now turn the yin-yang a quarter to the left and take the 5 Miraculous surrounding it along, we might be closer to the puzzles solution. Because when we now take Nooroo out (as he wouldn't be there when things had gone right) then Fu's miracle box should have looked like this:

Notice 2 things here in particular:

1. Now the Turtle is at the top, which completes the connection between the Renlings Snake and the Kwamis Turtle to create the only creature of the 4 directions that is portrayed with one accompanied: the Turtle of the North.

And while I'm already at it, this is also the reason why Fu's/Ninos Miraculous is the only one that doesn't fit the hero color scheme when activated.

The Turtle of the North is colored BLACK and sometimes with additional white, just like the activated Miraculous.

And 2. Now after being mirror reversed and turned one quarter to the left the Ladybugs and Cats yin-yang isn't sideways anymore and looks EXACTLY like the yin-yang used in the Shanghai promo pictures. Almost like this is the way it is supposed to be or something.

Alright. Ive told you ALOT now but this is precisely the reason why I wanted to post this before the special airs. I'm definitely not entirely right with all of this, there is alot I haven't figured out about these things yet or simply haven't seen yet. What I just showed to you is not anywhere close to done so some questions are still left open.

I wanted to make another point about how the zodiac monkey, mantis and horse are the only 3 Renlings that do not have any symbol on their bodies and how this could connect to the object Hawkmoth has in that one leak

But even i think this is going to far now and I should wait until I watched the special xD

But my point in all of this (and everything I haven't even touched upon here but will in the future) is that everything in s1-s3 was influenced by this fundamental off-balance of the Kwami system that I think was caused with Nooroos creation. Which is very fitting for the Kwami of our main villain I may say. And the fact that these 4 miraculous are also somehow linked to the peacock out of all miraculous gives us an explanation for its villainous usage as well.

I think the Shanghai special will start the exploration of what happened by at least laying down and introducing the most important aspects of this particular topic.

To say that I am TRILLED for this special is quite the understatement and I'm gonna have a BLAST analysing the hell out of its lore!

So I guess there is only one thing left for me to say:

Yo

Miraculous crew

[just-a-fangirl13]

Why s5 *might* be the season MacRiley happens

Okay so...Hear me out! I'm not crazy I promise!!

Firstly, after 5x03 (and probably 5x04) it may seem very unlikely that MacRiley could ever happen. But I thought of a few reasons why they might actually happen by the end of s5 after all.... (it gets a lil long winded and kinda complicated but just stick with me till the end!)

1. All the MacRiley moments including the ones in 5x03.

[this Mac smile could not be an accident or something that slipped through both production and post-production right?! that in itself is a whole reason!]

Every Macriley moment we have ever had- whether it's the hugs, Riley saving Mac, Mac saving Riley, the ultimate show of loyalty when Riley went after Mac during Codex or even just the looks exchanged between the two- to any outsider it would seem pretty obvious that they are dating or at least in love. Keep in mind the writers would have written each of those scenes and Lucas and Tristan have acted them out with a specific build up in mind aka MacRiley.(think about the date episode: Riley just got dumped but was still thinking about how Mac might be hungry. She didnt have to do that. She could have just shown up at his place..) I mean how can they write two people so perfectly in sync and so perfect for each other and not have them end up together? It would just be a waste of all that tension and slow burn. (not to mention all the hugs and glances)

2. They know we exist. 

The MacRiley fam is very active on twitter with the writers and while they were writing 5x01 they knew we were around. They know we are a huge group. They would not want to risk pissing 90% of the fandom off by not making MacRiley endgame.

[P.S.yes 5x03 was a bait and switch but if you were paying attention you would have noticed that neither Lucas not Tristan live tweeted or hyped up the episode. They knew we would probably hate it so they didnt publicise it too much! so in the future if you have doubts about the episode being a MacRiley one just check their stories or posts on twitter/intstagram]

3. Yes 5x03 happened. 

I really think it was an episode they HAD to write. Ok so after 4x13 they had 7 more episodes planned and were filming 4x20 (aka the finale) when the pandemic struck. So they have these 6 episodes but no finale for it. [Idk if anyone else has noticed but in 5x01 there were clearly some parts cut out. For example the conversation between Desi and Riley towards the end seemed a bit jilted. Riley asking Desi to forgive her but Desi replied with yeah we are cool (still no apology ofc) I feel like something happened during that which ended up getting cut out so it could fit with the final story.]

This makes me think that they have rewritten a few bits to tie into the new finale episode. In 5x03 when Mac asked Desi to come fishing with him which was clearly something very personal to him she was like no do better.. then we see Mac's disappointed expression. She could have easily said okay but maybe not for our first date? Or its not really my thing? Or just about anything else rather than laughing in his face like that. Eventhough MD is together they still arent compatible. Mac’s final words in 5x03 was him being desperate. I truly think he is so broken and lost that Desi is the only safe thing left, the only thing he feels like he can fix right now. Once he finds himself again and heals...then it's going to hit him like a pile of bricks!!

4. But Riley doesn't have feelings anymore...WELL doesnt she? 

When it comes to Mac, Riley is always in denial. We saw it in s4 when she tells Bozer not to make her say it. I think s5 will show her finally accepting it. Finally accepting that she is in love with her best friend and that it definitely isnt Codex adrenaline because she caught the feels when Codex wasnt even around. While Mac's arc would include realising he and Desi are never going to work and that he is unhappy and that RILEY is the one for him.

[why else would they give Riley feelings for Mac? Something has to come of it.]

5. The slow burn rule.[this point is a lil complicated] 

Now season 5 is rumoured to have 13 episodes. So here’s what I think: If MacGyver follows the pattern that most shows do when it comes to slow burns, then technically MacRIley should have happened at the end of season 4. But since the season got cut short and they didnt get to air/finish their final episode the writers had to improvise. 

From what I know, 4x19 which is 5x04 for us is the episode where Mac meets Desi’s parents and 4x20 was supposed to be the finale that was left unfinished.(they are definitely moving the timeline ahead if a pre finale episode is suddenly a mid season one.) There might have been a 4x21 or 4x22 but I haven't heard anything about those....EVER.

So what I think they have decided to do instead is extend the MD storyline a bit longer just so they dont end up scrapping all their s4 episodes where they would be together and write a new finale that ties everything together, aka MacRiley.

If you think about episode counts, s4 and s5 together would have 26 episodes which is a how long a normal season runs. Basically what im trying to say is if we follow the ‘slow burns end by s4’ and take season 5 as an extension of 4 then MacRiley should get together in the season 5 finale or maybe the episode just before. (IM REALLY TRYING TO GET SOME LOGIC INTO THIS)

This would be a typical TV thing too where the couple finds out about each other’s feelings while the main arc of the show is also at its peak, which perfectly sets up a future season where fans are hyped but still has a satisfying ending.

6. So what about MacDesi?

So far the macgyver writers have given us characters we love. Think of every character on the show apart from maybe Desi... Mac, Riley, Bozer, Jack, Matty, Leanna, Samantha, Russ and even Murdoc. WE LOVE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM. So then why is Desi such a strange character? I think shes purposely been written as an opposite to Mac or even Riley (I get she’s supposed to kinda replace Jack but Jack is really irreplaceable). 

It's not necessarily a bad thing its just not a great thing to do or have great execution. People have said things like Desi is a badass and shouldnt have to apologise or say I love you back to her boyfriend because she is a strong woman...I'm sorry but your opinion of who a strong woman is, is EXTREMELY skewed. A strong woman is someone who can make mistakes and when she does, she is ‘strong’ enough to own up to it, she is loyal and fierce and also caring while being a badass who can take down bad guys. And for GODS SAKE, RILEY DAVIS IS A STRONG WOMAN...people have called her mushy and feminine on twitter and I'm just very confused by that.....

Anyways before I go off on a rant, it seems like Desi is intentionally being written this way. Every opportunity they get to redeem her and make her more relatable or just a better person they just dont take it. While Rileys character arc is one of the best I've ever seen. Either its intentional or they’ve forgotten how to write characters...which is worrisome but ill give them the benefit of the doubt.

The writers also know we dont like Desi. The amount of times we've tagged them in the toxic posts or pointed out problematic things we can be sure they've seen at least half of those. So theres no way they dont know. RIGHT?

So why then is MD still a thing you may ask??

Well for one they cant break them up again off screen because of those unreleased s4 episodes. (not to mention the other parts of the audience who arent as invested in mac’s love life would probably be very confused.)

Secondly Mac has to be the one to pull the plug, not Desi. 4x13 made it seem like Desi was the annoyed one not Mac. He apologised to her which meant he wanted to fix things. 

Thirdly, they are opening the chpt one last time before they permanently close it. MD is going to be a stark contrast to macriley(it already is in every way possible). Every issue Mac and Desi had can be used to show how amazing macriley really is as two people who arent even dating yet.

Fourthly, MD being together is a sort of commentary on Macs mental health as well. We can see how happy he is with Riley but around Desi he becomes some one else. If the writers are doing this on purpose or subconsciously still remains to be seen.

And Yes keeping MD around for a few more episodes seems like a necessary risk right now but I have a feeling its going to be worth it later.

[I know we have had like 4 desi entered episodes already but I really think 5x04 will be the last of it since 5x05 is the Jack episode and 5x06 is Mac+Riley+Bozer episode with no mention of Desi at all!]

The writers know we are a dedicated bunch and they know that once MD breaks up for the last time the entire fandom will be waiting and watching. That's when the show will be at its peak. That will be the perfect moment to bring in MacRiley’s arc to a new start!

Congrats if you stuck with me through this whole thing! if you agree/disgaree with any of these or have other reasons why they could be endgame in s5 let me know!!

[nitannichionne]

If He Was YOUR Fan Chapter 19: The Cavill Challenge (Henry Cavill Fan Fic)

CHAPTER 19: The Cavill Challenge

                                          You are waiting. You didn’t go to the Durrell challenge, even though Henry asked you to over and over. You hadn’t trained for it, and you just weren’t ready for a 13K run. And then, in a public social setting for the first time was something you weren’t ready for. You couldn’t tell him that for some reason. People had seen you around town, but not necessarily together. You went shopped with Stella, even hit the pub once with her:

“Who’s your friend?” a man asked Stella one weeknight. When Stella shook her head, he turned to you. “What’s your name?”

“Piss off, Lars,” Stuart warns.

“Ah, come on, a name, if only to say hello?”

You glance at the good looking man, noting his size and good looks, but say, “Taken.” You turn back to your drink.

“Ah, like your friend, Hannah?” he asks, looking at you both. “Mentally dating Henry Cavill or something?” He laughs. “Hey, Archer! This one says her name is Taken.”

“She truly is,” Archer nods, his arm curling around Hannah. Her eyes harden at you, but you are grateful that neither tell more than they should.

“If Archer can’t be a nice consolation, why can’t I, love?”

You sigh. You pull out your phone and start paying attention to it. You check messages. You expect none from Henry; he was probably fast asleep. You feel like this is a mistake now. You went out with two couples and even though Stuart and Stella assured you wouldn’t, you feel like fifth wheel.

You look around Henry’s home: You bought a mat to go in front of the fireplace. You have lavender lotion at the ready. You bought Egyptian cotton sheets for his bed, determined to make up for your disappointing him for not coming to the Durrell Challenge run. Your phone rings.

“Hello?”

“Where are you?”

You recognize Stella’s voice. “Stella?”

“Everyone knows that Henry’s going to a pub at the end of his race,” Stella whispers. “It looks like every girl in the town is here!”

Your breath hitches. “There can’t be many—”

“Does there have to be?”

The line clicks off, and you feel a panic. You trust Henry right now, but is it too early in the relationship to when he has so many options? He went out with an actress for twelve days once. You more than beat that record, but…?

You tense...right now, you shake your head at your own thoughts. You should be there to show support of what he believes in. You realize your needing more time to adjust to a public eye, even a small one like a town near the movie set, might be unrealistic and selfish. There will be more eyes from here on out, you deduce. This is as good as a springboard as any. This could mark the sunrise of your time as Henry’s lady friend, and let’s face it, you wanted to stay private so that when he tired of you, your heartbreak could be the same as it set.

What if it doesn’t? What if it does because of this decision?

You take a breath. If he was any other guy, you knew you’d meet him at the finish. Chastising yourself for your mistake, you run to the mirror. Ugh, not like this!

You look into your backpack and the athletic bag left at Henry’s, biting your lip as you pull together an outfit: A teal sports bra top, black leggings and a black form-fitting jacket that accents your curves. You do your facial treatment, determined not to wear makeup, looking fresh faced, and then apply mascara and lip gloss for good measure. Eyes and lips matter on stage, and everywhere else for that matter. After pulling your ponytail through the back of your baseball cap, you walk outside and grab your mountain bike, looking at Henry’s. He bought one, saying he would ride with you one day, but not as of yet.

You load your leg pack, fill and put on a Camelback pack and take off. This is an ten mile ride. He’s running and then stopping at the pub miles from there. You have to move it! You put your earpiece in. “Call Stella.”

“Calling Stella.”

You wait as the line rings.

“Hey!”

“Where is he?”

“I hear he is less than halfway,” she says in a low voice. She listens to your breathing. “Where are you?”

“On my way,” you pant softly.

“You’re biking, aren’t you?”

“Yep.”

“You brought your headlights, right?”

“It’s broad daylight, but yes, Stella, I did.” You steer to the right, letting cars go by. “Don’t tell him I’m coming, alright?”

“Alright.”

You click off, and increase speed.

An small SUV goes by and you swerve, going off the road and purposely falling into the bushes to avoid rolling and falling into trees below at the bottom of a small ravine. You have cycled in snow and rain and wind and it pays off, only feeling a little bumped, maybe bruised. You try to see the license plate as you walk your bike back on the road but it is gone by the time you think to even do it, a bit unsettled by the near accident. Time passes and you see the town square opening up to you. It’s not very big, but big enough. You see quite a few SUVs parked, and they all look the same. It dawns on you that these are rentals and probably from the movie set. Could someone have tried to hit you?

You see Henry’s truck parked and go to it. You hitch your bike to a sign post and walk to the pub door. You take a deep breath and try to smooth yourself over. You can’t look all that together after a ten to twelve mile ride, but you made it. You nod respectfully to the man at the door who opens it and step inside.

You scan the place. He’s not there! You hear your name called and see Stella waving you over frantically. You speed over to her.

“He’s running at a park near here,” Stella says softly. “Cindy says his finish line is not in town, but four miles away.” She holds her phone and shows you where it is. “He met others here and they all drove to the start. You might not make it—”

You aren’t listening. You’re gone.

You hop on your bike, put the name of the place in your phone and hit the road again, this time putting the rubber drinking tube in your mouth to get water from your pack since you didn’t drink anything at the bar. You are solidly counting on Cindy’s information and the Google Map God. You take a cleansing breath and push on. You put on music as you listen to the English Siri tell you what to do.

You bike a trail in the natural park as you reach it, and your memory sparks at what you see before you in Instagram photos. You are in the right place, and this fuels you. Now that you know, the posts and the trail map are your best friends. Deductive reasoning tells you which paths to take, as there are a few turns, but you are making it.

Finally you reach a clearing, and you see Henry and security as well as a few people from work all laughing and smiling, drinking water in the distance. You stop short, watching him. You said you weren’t going and now you’re here?! How will he take that?! You use your time to catch your breath, unsure what to do, and insanely contemplating turning around as he takes a selfie of himself and Kal.

Henry calls your name. You stand still, gripping your handlebars and smile, but your stomach is doing flip flops while your heart is in your throat. What a time to reconsider—

“You came?!” He is grinning. “Oh my God, you came!” He starts toward you with Kal trailing behind and you walk your bicycle to meet him. “You biked here?”

“Knee injury, don’t run anymore, I told you,” you pant, tapping your knee which is in a brace. “but I wanted to be here to support you, being by yourself, but you’re not by yourself—” He smiles and you feel heat creep up your cheeks, taking a deep breath as your mouth goes dry. “I just wanted to be there for you.” That sounds stupid, all of a sudden. The man is fully confident and able to do whatever he wants whenever he pleases. “That sounds crazy, doesn’t—” He shuts you up with a kiss and you feel his arms encircle you as yours settle on his shoulders.

“Thanks for wanting to support me,” he says softly, his voice taking on that purr that just makes your knees go weak. His hand cradles your face as his thumb caresses your cheekbone. He looks down again  rocking your body with his hips, which seem to be naturally aligning with yours. “You biked here?!”

“Yeah!” you laugh happily. “I used to bike all the time back home, good way to integrate exercise into the day.

“On these roads?!” He frowns. “That’s not easy.”

“It’s not that hard,” You retort, knowing you’d do it again for the warmth you’re feeling from him now.

He takes your bike and steers it with one hand, holding yours with the other and guides you toward his running party.

“So did you do this on purpose?” he asks. “Surprise me, I mean.”

“Actually, no,” you shrug. “I was setting up a nice spa night at your place—”

“Spa?!” he repeats with a raise of his eyebrow. “Spa? Like massage and bath?”

“I was about to make you something to eat when I changed my mind,“ You say apologetically. “but it can wait, I can make—”

“We’ll have a drink and some supper,” he says quickly. “then head back.”

“I thought—”

“Now I’m the one who can’t wait,” his says softly, his blue eyes changing to a shade that takes your breath away. He makes introductions to people you have seen and were never introduced to, his arm going around you as a warming symbol of his affection and protection. Everyone seems friendly enough and you wonder what you were worrying about.

Thanks for the support and comments! Feel free to follow or IM me to be tagged.

@mistress-of-ward  @nuggsmum  @messyinsomniacbookgirl  @jencanbeyouryengeralt  @sweetdreamsofgelato  @maryann84  @omgkatinka  @the-soot-sprite  @viking-raider  @keanureevesisbae  @henryobsessed  @summersong69 @kinbhot4henners  @sunshine96love  @michelehansel  @radofrivia  @thelastsock  @michelehansel  @tumblnewby @henryobsessed @defffcc  @tenaciousneckpartypainter  @rn7rocksn @mrskikkirazz  @daydreamin83  @ruthoakenshield  @musicartmayheminmyheart  @michelehansel  @tumblnewby  @henryobsessed  @defffcc @tenaciousneckpartypainter @rn7rocksn  @mrskikkirazz  @daydreamin83 @ruthoakenshield  @musicartmayheminmyheart  @mis-lil-red @kaatelyynn  @forallthebrokenheartedthings  @alphacancrii @liquorlaughslove @designerewriterchic

Looking forward to hearing from you! Enjoy and feel free to check out my master lists for my other Cavill fan fic stories!

[angrylizardjacket]

and everything that goes with it; i thank you all

A/N: So........ ash v. social media v. borhap cast i guess??? no-one asked for this, but i love them.

[aydtd]

It definitely starts as a joke.

“Hey, Ma Rocket?” Joe’s filming on his phone during a costume trial. With her arms crossed, Ash is partially hidden by Rami who’s spinning, the frills of his shirt fanning out around him. She’s frowning, thoughtful and pensive, but when Joe calls, she turns to him, eyebrows raised and expectant.

“Aye?” She’s not smiling, mind obviously still pondering over the fit of Rami’s costume, but it’s a clear enough acknowledgement that Joe’s response is clearly spoken through a smile.

“You responded; you’re the on-set mom now.” He declares. Ben laughs from somewhere off camera. “No takebacks.” Joe follows it up with, but Ash is already wearing a longsuffering look of resignation. The video cuts off before she can flip him off, but her movements are too deliberate to be misconstrued as anything else. The video is released almost a full year later, once the NDA has been lifted on the movie and Behind the Scenes pictures and videos start flooding out, but at that point the joke had moved beyond being just that.

Ash is not hard won; kindness and respect win her loyalty easily, it’s just that those traits are sometimes hard to come by in this industry, and she’s often dismissed because of her age, especially by younger performers. Bohemian Rhapsody is different, of course in part because they all know who she is by virtue of who they’re playing,

Joe’s not her favourite, not officially, and neither is Ben, much to his quiet disappointment; officially her favourite is Karen, and everyone else is tied second, but each of them holds a very special place in her heart and soon that begins to bleed into her social media, as well as some of theirs. Ash gets Instagram at Joe’s behest, only a month before the world premiere of Bohemian Rhapsody. It’s not as if she’s lived her life in obscurity, but come the turn of the millennium, her time at the edge of the spotlight had mostly come to an end, and she had been able to continue her work behind the curtain of pop culture for almost twenty years. This was all new, and unexpected, but she tried to take it in stride.

So she follows the cast, of course, follows Roger and Brian and the Official Queen page, as well as any of her friends or former clients she can find, and much to their horror, her children. Okay so her son isn’t horrified since he’s a public figure and he doesn’t use it for personal photos, but both her daughters have posted pictures of themselves in bikinis, and they thought they’d be safe since Roger followed them after the photos were posted, and at least he never went back and liked any of their old photos. Ash likes every single photoeach of her children has even posted, and all three are a little horrified.

That’s a cute one of us at Bonfire Night!! Is one of the many comments she leaves across the entire timeline of Astrid’s Instagram history, this particular one being from a 2014 photo, and so Astrid herself posts a screenshot of her mother blowing up her notification on her story.

@joemazzello what have you done

Joe subsequently posts a screenshot of a set of DMs between himself and Astrid on his own story.

Yesterday @ 3:47am

@astro_winnie: then tell him to change his oil

@astro_winnie: what a heathen

Today @ 1:21pm

@astro_winnie has mentioned you in her story

@joemazzello: What exactly are you accusing me of here?

@astro_winnie: mum didn’t have an Instagram yesterday 🤔🤔

@astro_winnie: I don’t know how but this is your fault

@joemazzello: she’s just having fun 😂😂

@astro_winnie: SHE LIKED MY BIKINI PIC FROM 2 YEARS AGO IM DYINg

The whole conversation is captioned ’Well anyways, go follow Ma Rocket @rockettaylor49’. The following picture on his story, posted ten minutes later, is a clarification that he isn’t actually Ash’s son, that it’s just a nickname. Even so, Ash’s actual son gets a photo with him at the premiere and caption it ‘brother from another mother (probably) @joemazzello’ and it goes viral on both Tumblr and Twitter.

Ash’s first official post is a picture of herself and Freddie, a Polaroid of the two of them aged beyond belief, taken in 1969. It’s the only photo she had when she was still in uni, and even she seems surprised to see it. Roger finds her staring at it, expression blank as she looks at where they keep it, pride of place, over the mantle. Without even asking, he understands, and he presses a kiss to her temple.

’@rockettaylor49: My favourite client helped me with this caption, he said I should remind you all that you can have more than one love of your life, and that that love isn’t necessarily romantic. To me, Freddie was family from the moment I met him, and I love and miss him every day. Freddie & Me. 1969.’

The post is flooded with love and support and more heart emojis than you can shake a stick at, and it’s not long before she’s amassed a large following. The only outlier in the initial comments comes from her second daughter, Cate.

@cate.astrophy: @rogertaylorofficial got upgraded to favourite client. nice.

The entire rest of the family, as well as a few random unknowns, like the comment.

Ash’s aesthetic is surprisingly clean; old photos from back in the day, old initial costume designs in sketchbooks, the paper gold with age and colours faded, but still with her initial notes scribbled neatly around the edges. The only modern things she posts are photos of shopping bags filled with fabric she’s just purchased, and photos of her friends and family.

There’s only one selfie on her page. Its Ash, poorly framed if only to keep Joe in focus behind her where he’s leaning against the door to a trailer and double over with laughter, with Ben glaring through the window at both of them.

’@rockettaylor49: Trixie gave me a selfie stick and Ben tried to confiscate it when he heard me say 'selfie’ so he was locked out. Usually I was with Roger on the other side of the door back when Deaky was locking us out of places… What a terrible influence he was!! But anyways here you all go, my first selfie. Me & Trixie featuring My Disrespectful Boy, Ben. 2018.’

The way the cast call her ‘Ma’ definitely started out as a joke, mostly between Joe, Ben, and Ash, but it slowly spreads to the others.

“Where’s The Golden Boy?” Ash calls on set, holding a cap for Rami, who was warming up. It’s rather endearing, the way he jogs to her wearing a smile.

“Here, Ma, what do you need from me?” 

“Hat.” Is all she says, presenting it to him. They’ve always had a soft spot for each other, having worked together on Night At the Museum and it’s sequels for several years. He was one of the last to pick up the habit of calling her ‘ma’, after spending so long calling her Rocket, but he’s grown into it, they all have. Even some of the crew have taken to using the nickname, or some variation.

And maybe she leans into it, leans into her age and her wisdom, and they know they’re sort of telling her story too, but there’s a disconnect when they look at her, at her greying hair and the deep laugh lines around her mouth, and they forget who exactly she is. Though sometimes, rarely, they’re given sharp reminders.

There’s a video on Gwil’s phone that he later puts on Instagram once he has her permission, and the NDA has come to an end, of Ash on the set of Live Aid. She’s sitting on the edge of the stage, legs hanging over the edge, and Roger’s in front of her, at the perfect height to rest his chin on her knees. 

“Do you think you can still do that impression of yours?” Roger’s voice is barely audible, but he’s grinning, and Ash cards a hand through his short, white hair.

“Which- oh, the Freddie- oh Christ,” she laughs, “this’d be the place for it, aye?” And she starts clearing her throat, about the time that Roger spots Gwil and his curious camera.

“Sorry, was just trying to catch a video of the empty stadium,” Gwil’s voice can be heard, and Roger laughs, which causes Ash to turn. Seeing Gwil, she smiles, and nods at the camera.

“You’re gonna wanna get a video of this,” Roger grins, nudging Ash’s knee, and she turns an amusing shade of pink, struggling to her feet. Gwil rushes forward to help her up, but Ash brushes him off.

“I used to do this with Freds to help him warm up, and whenever I was side of stage,” she says, a strangely fond smile on her face as she reminisces, “I’m no singer, never have been, this is probably as close as I’ll get,” she warned, looking straight at the camera.

Taking a deep breath, she clears her throat, and belts out ‘ay-oh’. As if being summoned by a siren, everyone who can hear her, responds in kind. Smiling, pleased, she continues with the bit, as does everyone else, slowly gathering around her. It sounds uncannily like Freddie, and she holds an arm out to Rami to join her in leading the gathered crowd, which he agrees to with a bright grin, which ends with him yelling ‘hey, hey, hey, Hammer to Fall!’ and Ash, as well as the rest of the crew, bursts out into laughter.

The video’s posted with the caption ‘Ash Mercury in her prime’. All three of Ash and Roger’s kids comment about how they hadn’t heard her do that in so long, and not for the first time, Gwilym finds himself marveling at what it would be like to have Ash and Roger as actual parents.

Once the camera’s off, Ash  talks quietly about how she and Freddie used to practice it, because he couldn’t teach Ash to sing to save his life, but he’d be damned if he couldn’t teach her this.

“He was like, an actual brother to her,” Ben says quietly when he and the other three boys are gathered together, checking in before they finally started filming.

“Yeah, it’s crazy to think some times; she took his last name for a full fifteen years," Rami muses, and there’s something that warms in his heart whenever he catches Ash’s wistful gaze as she watches them perform, quietly grateful.

There’s a few videos here and there from set from Ash, little moments she finds endearing, usually set to music;

She catches her son, Barney, and his partner dancing to Seaside Rendezvous alone in the makeup truck, joyful and bright, they sway together to the beat as her son sings along, and his partner laughs fondly, pressing their smile against his chest as he tries to make kazoo noises.

When Cate, her middle daughter, comes to set, she takes a seat by the piano and plays the opening for Seven Seas of Rhye.

“That’s the one he wrote for you, isn’t it?” She turns, beaming, and Ash sits beside her. Again, Cate plays the opening, and Ash hums along, out of key, and Cate swallows her own gentle laughter, instead singing along.

Karen Gillan has a perm in order to play Ash, but unlike Joe, she appears to have no trouble in it, actually takes great pride in it. Ash has caught the rest of the cast, on several different occasions, using it to take photos of themselves with a stunning, ginger beard, which amuses her to no end, as it was something Roger was want to do on occasion when he got bored back in the day.

On the night of the Oscars, at the afterparty, Ash uploads two videos in the same post, one from set, and one from that night. They’re simply captioned ‘Me & The Champions. 2018/19′.

The video from on set is from the final day; Ash’s hands are shaking the camera slightly, but her voice is loud and clear, ringing throughout the set; 

“Where are my kids?” And like clockwork, Ben, Gwilym, Rami, and Joe all come out from various places, followed by Lucy and Karen, all giving her fond looks.

“Oh man, I’m gonna miss my set-mom,” Joe looks like the thought genuinely pains his heart, and as the realization dawns on the others, there’s a fond and faintly forlorn expression mirrored on all their faces. Joe’s the first to go in for the hug, despite Ash’s faint ‘oh Jesus Christ, Trixie’, but they all soon join.

The second video is from right after the Oscars awards ceremony, when most of the cast and crew who’d been attending are doing photo opportunities, and while Brian and Roger are already with them, Ash had hung back.

“It’s so good to see all my kids in the one place!” She calls, and Joe’s expression lights up as he hears her voice.

“Ma, we won!” Rami holds up his Oscar with delight, already a little tipsy, as were the rest of them as they crowd Ash, all wrapping her up in a group hug. Someone’s humming We Are The Champions. Ash suspects Joe. But she takes delight in the moment anyways, pride flaring bright in her chest.

[sincerelymarinette]

A Recorded Life (17/50) - Miraculous Ladybug

Words: 1841 Chapter Summary: Chat Noir and Ladybug watch the video Chat got to be in, and he is excited out of his mind! Following that, Marinette gives Alya a fun gift for their friendship anniversary- does she regret it? Even if she does, her fans will still freak out over the gift. Author's Note: i LOVE writing the comments on Mari's videos. they're so much fun to just fangirl and i live for it. also i went from having no pre written parts to like 5 so yall better be ready some shiz is about to start

Prev / Next / Masterlist

Alya Made Us Do It...Reading Fanfiction

---

Ladybug walked the rooftops as she waited for Chat Noir to appear. She knew he would, he was so excited about the video, and she knew he wanted her to see it.

It was only a few minutes of Ladybug walking around until she heard Chat Noir land behind her. "Ladybug! She posted the video!" He called out to her.

"Why else would I be out here? I want to see it," Ladybug replied.

"Perfect," Chat Noir nodded to the bag around his shoulder. "I brought a screen a little bigger than your yo-yo," He chuckled.

The two found a secluded spot so they could sit and watch the video, and Chat Noir was buzzing with excitement. He was grateful that Marinette decided to upload the video, despite all the people that would ship them together. He, as Adrien, knew she was unsure of posting it, and he was glad he could convince her to go through with it.

He pulled his computer out of the bag and quickly pulled up the video. "Hey! I'm Marinette!" The video started, a big smile on Chat's face. Marinette had already seen this video a hundred times through editing, but it was a whole different experience hearing Chat Noir talk about everything that went on and pause the video every few seconds.

Marinette had yet to look at many of the comments, since she had only posted it a few minutes before, but she was sure it was already flooded. She saw the few before she transformed, but she was sure more were produced by the second.

She was excited that Chat Noir was so happy with the video and she knew he would be talking to her about it for the next month.

---

Directly following Alya's birthday was her's and Marinette's friendship anniversary. They had a nice dinner together and watched all the movies they could get in on a school night, bringing it back to the times before life got crazy.

But now, a day after, it was the real-time for Marinette to give Alya her present. She told Alya a few weeks ago she could choose a video topic for them, and she was not going to veto it. Marinette got her a real gift as well, but this was a bonus. She regretted it immediately when she saw Alya's sinister smile.

For some reason, Adrien and Nino were also there for the video. This only worried Marinette more about what Alya picked to do.

"Hi! I'm Marinette!" She greeted the camera as her three friends sat around her. "And I have no clue what we are doing today. For our friendship anniversary, I let her choose a video, and I had to go through with it. All I know is that she has a sinister look, a bulky folder, and Nino and Adrien are here," She said as the boys waved and turned to Alya. "Would you care to explain?"

Alya rubbed her hands together and held the folder against her chest. "I've seen a lot of YouTuber's do this, and I have been dying to get you to do it, but I knew you would never agree," She set up the scene. "I love your fanbase; everyone is great. I scoured the internet for the best things for this video, and have selected five. We are reading fanfiction about us," Alya declared.

"What?" Marinette screamed as Adrien and Nino started giggling in the background.

"Trust me, boys, neither of you are safe," Alya confirmed to them. "And Nino, just because we're together doesn't mean you get it easy. There is only one Alya 'x' Nino, and it's in the background of an Adrienette story," Alya winked, then turned back to the camera. "Yes, I have read these to make sure they are suitable. And yes, I have a secret Marinette fan account."

Marinette sat in embarrassment with her head in her hands, not sure how this whole event would go. Alya opened the folder and passed around scripts. "We'll start easy," She said, and on the top of the paper, it read ALYANETTE. "The only ship in this is Marinette and me; you guys are just extra characters."

Nino sat back in his chair. "Oh, thank god."

"Just wait, Nino," Alya joked to her boyfriend. Adrien was quiet, not sure how to react to this whole situation. He was surprised Marinette was actually letting Alya go through with this.

"Let's just get this over with," Marinette said as she tried to hide her beet-red face. "Who's narrating?"

Adrien looked up. "I can," He volunteered. And with that, the story began.

Marinette felt like she was having an out of body experience reading the lines and acting out with her friends. She had ideas of what Alya could have chosen, but nothing prepared her for all that was to come. The one between her and Alya was adorable, and she wasn't too nervous, but it was when she brought out the one with ADRIENETTE written on the top. Marinette had mainly got over her crush on Adrien since they are such good friends now, but the butterflies in her stomach proved different.

Alya started narrating as the scene was being set up and she could tell they were getting nervous to read their parts. Luckily, it started out with Nino and Alya talking about getting the two together, so it gave them some time to prepare mentally. Alya was eating this up, because she would do this exact thing in the story if she could. Marinette knows her plans and can stop her before she even starts, trying to prove she doesn't like Adrien like that anymore.

Between the tomato colored faces and slight stuttering, Alya was sure this was going to cause never-ending stories about them, and she was perfectly happy with that. She did, however, let them finish the story a little earlier because it was becoming a bit much. "I'll let you guys off the hook this time, but that's become I'm about to pull out the big guns!" She pulled out her next story, with a big MARICHAT written on the top. "Of course, I will be playing the role of Chat Noir. I have figured out the Ladybug and Chat Noir fanfiction writers have come up with how they are outside of costume. And for some reason, they believe Chat Noir's name is Felix. So, I will be portraying Felix Noir," Alya winked at Marinette.

Adrien felt a sigh of relief wash over him when Alya said she would be reading for Chat Noir. Sure, she had no reason to make him read for Chat, but it was still freaking him out with the possibility. He's pretty sure he blacked out while that whole story was being read.

The team suffered through Alya's evil plans as they finished reading the stories. The second Adrienette story was more fluff, and it seemed like it was an all-around friends story, it didn't hit too much romance, which was a nice break. The last story came out of nowhere: A Nino and Marinette story. Some people really liked the idea that they've known each other the longest in the group and would write about that. There were only a few, but all of them were adorable. It was probably the most fun for the group to read.

"And...that was my last one," Alya announced and let the group breath. "For now. If the people like this though, maybe we'll do one of those Tumblr things where we look up our names and ships to see what people post! Right, Marinette?" She pleaded, making puppy-dog eyes.

Marinette sighed loudly. "If it's what the people want," She gave in. "Make sure to leave a comment if you'd like us to do something like this again in the future. And don't forget to like and subscribe for more! You can check out all our social media with the links on our faces, or all of our information in the description. Thank you guys for watching, and this was a lesson never to give Alya control over a video again!" Marinette ended, getting up to shut off the camera.

Switching back into French mode, she grabbed a pillow and screamed into it. "NEVER LET ALYA CONTROL THINGS AGAIN!"

"But it was so much fun!" Alya argued, also back in French.

"Interesting is the word," Adrien said.

Nino sat there, staring as he waited for this whole day to be over. He was scarred.

---

ALYA KNOWS WHAT WE WANT AND WE WANT FANFICTION i need them on tumblr next

i literally ship all of these this was the best video i have ever watched thank you Alya you are a god

im still stuck on the fact that Alya says she has a fan account for Marinette. She's among us. you can't trust anyone!!!

I have a feeling Marinette knows Chat Noir's true identity. When Alya starts talking about the fandom's names for them, she tensed up when she talked about Felix. Is this a hint that his name is actually felix? Or confirmation that it isnt? Either way, she knows

So marinette when are you gonna tell us you and chat noir are a thing

mariNETTE DO YOU KNOW WHO CHAT NOIR IS? ARE YOU GUYS TOGETHER?

i would literally do anything for her to tell us she knows who chat is and/or confirm the rumors of their relationship

You aren't even trying to hide it anymore that you and chat noir are dating, are you? First, the video with him. You always defend him to the end. Then we get some pictures of chat leaving your balcony. Now we get you reading a fanfic of you and him. give up the secret already!

Me: I love adrienette and would die for them You: *indirectly makes it clear that you and chat noir are dating* Me: I love adreinette and would die for them

To all you people saying marichat is a thing, don't you realize they only read one marichat fic but TWO adrienette fics? If anything, adrienette is more likely. that or alya is just pushing them lol

marinette please confirm or deny your relationship status. it's tearing the fandom apart with all the debates. please. also, the fandom is exploding bc people think you know who chat noir is. please confirm or deny before we all split!!!

Marinette sat back in shock as she read the sea of comments on the fanfiction video. Where was all of this coming from? What did she do to imply she knows Chat Noir under the mask, let alone make her fans think they are dating? She was freaking out, and as much as Tikki tried to calm her down, nothing was working. She needed to talk to someone, and knew Alya was stressed about school and probably sleeping. Scrolling back up past her name, she clicked the second "A" contact in her list. She just needed someone to talk to.

---

@lady-of-the-roses-and-lilies @bookishserendipity03 @avatheexceed @gkz10 @coccinellegirl @kat-thatoneweirdo @strawberryblondish @snow-swordswoman @lilgaga98 @evufries

[edsbev]

im SAD and in PAIN can i get sum reddie hcs

sorry for not answering this earlier !! i was struggling to think of some but then i went into my drafts and found this long headcanon of young richie and eddie being idiot best buds who are lowkey crushing on each other and its so dumb which is why i never posted it but here u go

ok so. imagine.

the losers all have an elaborate walkie talkie set up, stranger things kids style, but richie and eddie have their own special station/channel where they can just talk to each other

and a lot of the time, richie uses it to call eddie late at night to invite him to some crazy shenanigan

like richie thinks his neighbour is a vampire or a serial killer or somETHING weird bc the guy is always shifting around in his yard and garage at night so richie always calls eddie to come spy on him with him (bc eddie is the only one who also believes that something is up with this guy) (bc if either richie or eddie believes some dumb shit then u can bET the other one does too)

so anyway thats how richie and eddie end up spending a lot of their summer nights hiding behind bushes in richies neighbours yard, trying not to go red when they have to huddle together, whisper-arguing abt whether or not richie pushed eddie into the bush on purpose or not, whisper-laughing abt some lame jokes they came up with on the spot bc they got bored or distracted, whisper-shouting and then actually shouting when they get caught

they try to bolt but the guy grabs them by the collar of their shirts and drags them to richies front doorstep. and they both smile sheepishly when maggie opens the door and finds them with their very angry neighbour again

(because this has happened multiple times and yet richie and eddie always go back bc theyre dumbasses)

maggie sighs as she lets the two boys inside and richie immediately begs her not to tell sonia bc she’d probably lock eddie up if she found out they were doing this and thats not even an exaggeration she’d rlly whoop eddies ass and look at eddies cute, innocent face mom how can u let her do that to him please dont tell…

maggie looks at eddie, who is giving her his very best puppy dog eyes

(the last time they’d gotten caught and dragged up to the toziers house by their neighbour, maggie had threatened that she’d tell sonia if it ever happened again. so now richie is literally on his knees pleading for her not to, bc he doesnt think he’d be able to manage if eddie got grounded and wasnt allowed to see him for a week)

and maggie relents bc despite everything, eddie actually does keep richie out of trouble most of the time.

once, she had seen richie about to attempt chugging a whole carton of milk in under a minute. and before she could interject, eddie had said, “dont do that idiot” and richie had said “yeah ok” and put the milk back and maggie had been dumbfounded bc richie literally never lets anyone tell him what to do ever

so she says she wont tell and lets eddie stay on the condition that they will never go into the neighbours yard again. and the two boys shout excitedly, richie wraps her up in a hug, and they ramble their promises over each other before racing upstairs to richies bedroom

where they pull out binoculars and continue to spy on the neighbour

they spot him out in his back yard. digging a hole in the ground.

“what do you think thats for?” eddie asks. he is using the binoculars. richie is pressed up next to him, his face pushed against the window to get a good look. (there is plenty of space by the window btw, richie is pressed against eddie bc he wants to be)

“probably to bury us in when he finally kills us,” richie jokes. eddie laughs ‘ha’ and then gives richie the binoculars so he doesnt have to look at the neighbour so closely anymore.

neither of them say anything after that. but something abt the joke rlly spooks them. maybe its the fact that its getting dark, the fact that they can hear the faint sound of the shovel scraping against the ground, the lingering memory of the angered look on the neighbours face when he’d caught them

theyre both a little on edge. so much so that when they finally call it a night, eddie hesitates by the made-up bed on the floor before deciding fuck it and climbing into richies bed with him

“what are u doing?” richie asks. his bed is small enough that eddie bumps against him as he shuffles under the covers

“nothing,” eddie grumbles. he turns so his back to richie, but their feet are touching. “kick me in your sleep and you die.”

“noted,” richie says. he stares at the back of eddies head and his heart flips up into his throat. he wants eddie to look at him. he also wants to tease eddie for being scared but hes scared too. so he ends up with: “you know if that guy rlly tries to kill us im sacrificing you for my own safety right?”

eddie doesnt miss a beat: “yeah right. i could just step on your glasses and you’d be done for. blind-y.”

richie kicks at eddies shin and eddie kicks back. richie laughs and eddie laughs. and they rib at each other until they fall asleep.

(but richie has a nightmare in the middle of the night and in his half-awakeness hisses at eddie until he also wakes up. and when richie tells him he cant sleep, they make a sleepy, fumbly deal to hold hands until theyre both knocked out again)

(and they think nothing of it. bc theyre not rlly awake and also theyre bros)

and the next day they sneak back into the neighbours backyard to check out the hole he was digging bc theyre idiots who never learn.

the hole looks body-sized.

theyre both convinced its for their soon-to-be-dead bodies

no one else can convince them otherwise, bc richie and eddie are two chaotic tinhat conspiracy theory believers 

and also best buds who like to rile each other up until they actually get scared

eddie sleeps in richies bed again that night

[ketchacabra]

stand by me

pairing: sam winchester x reader

word count: 1570

warnings: fluff, drinking

written for: @princessofthefandomrealm‘s non-dominant challenge (3hours 23minutes, no editing just posting.)

a/n: this is the first work i’m posting here and im both terrified and excited. i love writing and this fic was so much fun to write. the version of stand by me that inspired this was by the wonderful Jason Manns. 

Pouring the last drops of wine from the bottle, I smiled and leaned against the table. The bunker is silent except for the usual soft hum of the generators that are hidden deep in the bunker. Deciding that its too quiet, I open my phone and turn on my favourite playlist. As the music plays I dance around the library, wine glass still in hand.

I lose track of time as I dance around, my dress sweeping the floor and the wine warming my soul. Soon enough my glass is empty and I wander through the bunker to find the kitchen and an unopened bottle of wine.

The music follows me through the otherwise silent passages of the bunker. As I reach the library, empty glass in one hand and new bottle in the other. With a now full glass of wine I check my phone and find a string of messages from Sam letting me know they’ll be home soon and how much he misses me. I let myself get lost in the music again as I wait for them to get home. The song fades out and my favourite begins. I sing as I refill my glass, my thoughts wandering to a certain tall hunter who stole my heart.

The bunker door is the least subtle door ever invented and creaks loudly as the boys arrive home. They make their way into the bunker, finding me still singing and dancing with my wine, with Dean trailing behind an eager Sam. I twirl around, carefree and loving the swish of my dress as I turn. Without realising Sam had come closer I collide into him, his arms the only thing stopping me from tumbling over.

I find myself lost in his eyes when I look up to him. He smiles, dimples showing and hair falling around his face, ‘Hi beautiful.’

‘Hi Sam.’ I can’t stop the blush creeping onto my cheeks as he stares at me. He pulls me into a bear hug, and I sink into him, awkwardly holding my wine out so I don’t spill it over us as he pulls me impossibly close.

Dean clears his throat, ‘Its good to see you sweetheart, but I’m not hanging around you two lovebirds.’

I pull away from Sam and he reluctantly lets me go, ‘Dean, I missed you too.’ I set my wine down on the closest table, which earns me a pointed look from Dean. I respond with puppy dog eyes and a pout, ‘Don’t be like that.’

‘Sweetheart, I’ve been stuck in a car with him for hours. All he’s done is talk about seeing you again, I don’t want to keep him from you.’

Sam laughs at Dean and I can’t help but join in, ‘Okay, fine. But I want you up for breakfast, we’re eating as a family. Its been too long since I’ve seen you boys. I stocked up on bacon and I’ll even make pancakes.’

Dean pulls me in for a quick hug, ‘Sure sweetheart.’ Eyeing the two bottles of wine on the table he adds a cheeky, ‘we’ll see if you’re still up for it in the morning.’

Throwing a light punch at Dean’s shoulder I laugh, ‘shut up Dean.’

‘Yeah Dean, shut up.’ Sam echoes.

The three of us laugh and Dean turns and walks off to his room for the night. Just as he’s about to turn down the hall to the bedrooms he calls out, ‘Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do you crazy kids!’

‘Go to bed old man.’ I yell back.

I turn and look at Sam, who’s still smiling. His smile makes me feel like a deer in headlights. He takes a step away from the table he is leaning on, ‘I missed you baby.’

‘I missed you too Sam.’

‘C’mere,’ Sam opens his arms up and I step into them. His arms wrap around me tight and he presses a kiss to the top of my head. ‘What’d you get up to while we we’re gone?’

‘Not much, just cleaned up a bit and went for a couple supply runs. I did some of our laundry too, I had to get rid of my favourite jeans because they were covered in vamp.’ I exaggerate with a shudder and I can feel Sam chuckle. ‘I went and bought some more, I picked you and Dean up a couple things too. I restocked the beer, Dean’s whiskey and treated myself to some wine. What about you guys, how was the hunt?’

‘I see that,’ Sam replies. ‘It was easy, just a salt and burn. That didn’t stop me from missing you though. I’m just glad to be home now. Dean even agreed to take a couple days before we head out again. You tagging along next time?’

‘That’s not too bad. I miss the easy jobs, sometimes fighting angels and demons and gods messes with me. Like give me a vamp any day.’ Sam hums in agreement, his arms still tight around me. ‘I’m glad, I love just being here with you, no monsters just us. Yeah, I will. I don’t like being here alone too long, I just wanted to take a couple days to get this place liveable again.’

Sam doesn’t respond, he just holds me close. Its quiet moments like these that make every bad part of this life (and there are a lot) worth it. I never feel safer than when I’m in Sam’s arms, it’s like nothing can touch me. Neither of us speak, I start to hum along with the music that is still playing in the background.

Sam starts swaying us to the music, a sappy love song is now playing. ‘Y/N?’ He asks, snapping me out of my daze.

‘Yeah?’ I respond dreamily.

‘I asked what song was playing when we got home?’

‘Oh, Stand By Me.’ I say.

‘Turn it back on?’ he asks.

‘Sure.’ I pull away from him to get to my phone. ‘Why, do you know it’s my favourite?’

‘It is?’ He asks, cute confusion in his smile.

‘Yeah, this version anyway. You didn’t know?’ I laugh.

He shook his head, ‘I thought maybe Zepplin like Dean, you’ve always listened to his music.’

‘Oh, I do. It’s not my favourite, although Dean does have a great taste in music.’ Sam shaking his head makes me laugh even more, ‘Seriously, not that I’m complaining but why do you want me to put it on?’

‘When we walked in and I saw you dancing you seemed so carefree and happy,’ He says, a sheepish grin spreading across his features. ‘Y/N, will you dance with me?’

‘Sam Winchester, I’d love to.’

Picking up my phone to turn on the song, I take another sip of my wine. I press play and as the soft sounds of guitar echo through the library Sam takes me back in his arms.

We slowly move with the music, neither of us saying a word, both just content in each other’s embrace. The fuzzy feeling from the wine is slowly ebbing away and being replaced with the butterflies and warmth that being with Sam brings. There’s no feeling like it on this earth and not enough words to describe it, every adjective doesn’t quite fit.

The song is so fitting for this moment with Sam. It’s peaceful, there are no monsters here but even if there were I’d make it through anything with that man by my side. Thanks to the whirlpool of emotions, a single tear slides down my cheek.

I sing the second verse softly against Sam, feeling every word deep in my soul. ‘If the sky we look upon Should tumble and fall Or the mountains should crumble to the sea I won’t cry, I wont cry No, I won’t shed a tear Just as long as you stand by me’

As the final chorus plays and the songs fades away Sam and I remain silent, there’s no need for words.

Sam pulls away from the hug, leaning in for a kiss when he see’s the unshed tears in my eyes. ‘Baby, what’s wrong?’

‘Nothing,’ I whisper, unconvincingly. He doesn’t seem to buy it but before he can ask anything else I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him back closer to me. My lips are on his in a second, in that moment I have no words for him and this is the best I can do. He pulls me closer, his arms snaking around my waist. The world falls away, in this moment we’re the only things in the world. There are no sparks or fireworks like it’s told in cliché romance novels, instead a blaze of wild fire set aflame in my soul.

We pull apart, a muddle of laboured breathing and dreamily staring into each other’s eyes. Sam stares at me adoringly and my heart feels like it could burst. That was like no kiss we’d ever shared, and we’ve kissed plenty. From stolen kisses in Baby when Dean was paying for gas, lazy kisses in bed, surprise PDA to divert attention to the passionate kisses when we can’t get enough of each other.

‘I love you so much Sam.’ The words all but fall out of my mouth as I stare into his eyes.

His smile grows, dimples deepening and his eyes doing that adorable little crinkly thing. ‘I love you too Y/N.’

let me know what you think. i love and appreciate any feedback. 

[norcumii]

Reblogged from the prior tumbl, originally posted 02/04/2016. Question submitted by @makiruz. Slightly reformatted to avoid a readmore cut and whatnot.

In Full of Sith, they always ask new guests how they got into Star Wars. And you know? That's a good question, how did you got into Star Wars?

HEH. Oooh, that’s a bit of a loaded question. So I’ll give you the short answer, which I suspect would fit the thing you mentioned what I haven’t heard of; and then because I’m a wordy bastard what overshares, the long answer which is more accurate and has content warnings for self harm and suicide.

SHORT ANSWER

It was the 80’s. I was young, in single digits, though I couldn’t tell you exactly what age. I was already dealing with an irregular sleep cycle, though all I knew was I had a flashlight, a pile of books near/on my bed, and a thick pound puppies duvet to read under.

I don’t know if I was in my room or on my way to/from the bathroom, but I could hear my parents watching something downstairs. Swooshy noises, a shrill screee, and some thwoom bzzts.

Of course I went downstairs.

I don’t know if it was episode 5 or 6. I’ve a fondness for 6, but carbonite left a HUGE fucking impression on me, and my parents have always approved of muppets, so Yoda.

I knew I loved it. I didn’t have any toys, though I think somewhere there was a print edition of A New Hope running around. I do recall multiple sleepovers at my grandmother’s place – a tiny house on acres and acres of woods – and she’d sometimes pull out Return of the Jedi and we’d watch it together on her tiny TV. Later on I’d be in bed, staring out at woods and trees that I knew, but seemed huge to a little kid, and I’d dream of Ewoks.

RotJ was Gram’s favorite, and for many years mine, too.

I like Ewoks.

VERY LONG ANSWER

TW: mental illness, depression, self harm, suicide, abuse

In late elementary, early middle school, my brother and I were basically reading ANYTHING we could get our hands on. He sometimes dove into books that didn’t interest me, so I’d read the first of something and then be bored and he’d keep going.

Star Wars EU was one of those. It was too grim for me. I think I didn’t run into any of the really good writers. It was all Han and Luke and Leia on the covers, so take that for what you will. There also was no Wookiepeia, so I was depending heavily on the writers’ abilities to convey things to someone very visual, yet pretty impatient with descriptions, so it never took.

I was in high school when The Phantom Menace came out. Mine honorable brother was off at college, so it was with great excitement on my part, and bemused tolerance on my parents’, that they and I went off to the theater.

On the one hand, I was dazzled.

On the other, there was Jar Jar. There was the fact that I hadn’t been impressed with the re-release of the OT – Han shot first. FITE ME. There was the fact that TPM didn’t feel like Star Wars, which was darker and grittier and…simpler to me.

So I wrote it off. Packed Star Wars away as “one of those things” that I’d been into, but felt like I was moving past. I was obsessed with Gargoyles, I was looking at going to college, and I would keep m’damn ewoks without needing to try to extend that vision with gungans.

College sucked. I went in, not sure if I wanted to go into English, for writing, or Psych, because I had always been what I’d now call The Mom Friend. I met a nice guy who tried, but things never really clicked between us, and there was an interesting bit that he was mad about Star Wars and insisted that I read the Rogue Squadron books.

That was a Good Decision. Dating him, not so much.

I had a huge assortment of Life Issues. Got into an abusive relationship that would end up lasting 14 years. Transferred schools. Got the fucking Psych degree, though literally only by the grace of a professor who didn’t want to see the kid not graduate just ‘cause she couldn’t numbers and I did go in and try. Talked to him and still couldn’t with the maths but the effort was there to bump me a few points above failing.

I was burnt out. I was depressed. I tried killing myself a few times – not very good at it, as you can see. Took up self-harm as a coping mechanism. Failed in the still never successful search for a decent therapist in Pittsburgh. Got a job slinging food, because needed some kind of income, and people without pressure was nice. The keeping on a schedule thing failed, leading to an average of 4 hours sleep a night. Losing contact with family and friends because I couldn’t stand the pressure of “how are you?” and “what’s going on in your life?” Clinging to Warcraft because repetitively farming was better than clawing open my back or neck again, and the people there were ok with some rando dropping out of sight on a dime, and only a persistent few had the grace and spirit to make it past some serious defensive issues of mine.

I stopped writing. Stopped caring about Gargoyles, stopped being able to see into that AU I’d made for myself of a crazy clan and the weird human who survived cancer with them.

Stopped going on IM, for the same reasons I stopped talking to people.

I still kept track of some folks via LiveJournal. A handful of the Gargoyles folks who were determined, gods know why and thank you, since I know several are here on the tumbles and I genuinely love you to bits.

I quit my job after five years, because enough was enough between the fact that it had all the hallmarks of an abusive relationship and I was fucking tired of being a manager without any actual authority, and the endless hamster wheel of hiring and people quitting because it was a nice, but highly dysfunctional place.

I missed the customers, though. Several of them are here too, and it’s kinda funny ‘cause I know in at least one case I talked to them about Star Wars. I still hope they’re not too shellshocked that I kinda went down the rabbit hole pretty deep.

Started getting more sleep. Not less anxiety, not less depressed. Tried out a few depression medications, with very mixed results.

Then one day @dogmatix came into the LJ area I still hung out in. Enthusiastically recommending to all and sundry that if there is even a shred of interest in Star Wars, THERE IS THIS THING YOU SHOULD READ.

She drew a Wookiee. That was a character?

I’d always liked Wookiees.

And I needed something to read.

Star Wars was one of those things, from back in the day before things went to shit. Low investment, since if I didn’t like it or didn’t care, then eh. Whatevs.  Dogmatix was one of the Gargs holdouts still in my circle (or whatever it is that I was hovering at the edges of), and in the past I’d liked her recommendations more often than I disliked them.

I’m also endlessly weak to her art.

Wookiee.

So I did that thing. That so many of us here have done. It took me about 2 weeks to get through Re-Entry. It had trouble taking root in the depression, but Obi-Wan going crackers was something I could empathize with and appreciate.

There was the hope that had been missing from the EU novels I’d tried reading back in the day.

There was Wookieepedia, which meant I could stop and see what a Nautolan was. I had tabs open for DAYS so when someone named Adi or Gallia who were apparently the same person? I could see who that was. I got stupidly distressed that Abella didn’t have an entry, until I twigged and checked for a Chitanook, and holy shit I could never tell what character was going to crop up as canon, obscure EU character, or home brewed.

I honestly expected to set it aside, get updates as they happened, and gradually step away because that’s how things were going at the time.

But I still needed something to read, to stave off empty hours when my brain was too full of screaming.

On Ebon Wings. I’d loved The Crow when I’d seen it back in high school, and that story tapped into the powerful visuals and the lovely message I’d adored and in ways I still don’t quite understand it somehow validated that I could be mad and still be ok. Maybe. Maybe not now, but someday.

Maybe.

So I gave in and got a Tumbl. I’d been a stubborn holdout, regularly checking the same half dozen feeds daily because dammit, I don’t wanna go through the trouble and I was close to giving up on LJ and another journaly thing? That was stupid. But I wanted to follow Flamethrower and Dogmatix, and it made it infinitely easier to follow several blogs (and oh GODS one of those is a mutual and holy fuck I swear I screamed the day that happened and it’s still a high to realize).

Dogmatix wrote Möbius and Accidental Timeshare, wherein Venge goes universe hopping. That’s also a weakness of mine.

I’d been kvetching IRL about the treadmill and wanting something to watch, and someone mentioned in Dogmatix��s feed The Clone Wars – which conveniently was on Netflix. So I figured what the hell. I was disinclined to like clones – ‘cause yeesh, they’re the reason the Jedi all died, and yeah, ok, the Order was SERIOUSLY FUCKED UP, but.

I still had never seen Episodes 2 or 3.

I turned on the Clone Wars movie, and within ten minutes I nearly fell off the back of the treadmill due to crying.

THIS was the Star Wars of my youth. THIS was what I remembered. A little grim. Lots of quips.

That sound. Lightsabers igniting. A-wings rumbling overhead. Blasterfire, and that music.

I had to stop and calm down and for the first time in ages WRITE [, because I just had to ramble about how it all hit me in the feels]. I had no idea I’d missed this.

By the end of the movie I’d decided ok, I wanted more. Wasn’t sold on these clone fellas, and damned if I could tell one set of armor from another (this is ALSO due to the treadmill screen being calibrated to be a compromise of a very short person – me – and a very tall person, which means neither person gets a decent view but that’s not what the treadmill tv is for).

I’d been told there was an order to the episodes, but I didn’t care. Continuity is for those who think about the future, and I was still regularly suicidal.

So the first episode I watched was Yoda romping around a planet, playing with droids while three clone troopers tried to babysit his mad little ass.

They had me, all in one episode. I loved these guys. They had individuality, I could tell them apart by the voices (which is sometimes just as important to me as visuals) even if I couldn’t name them, and the personalities –

They were loyal. Their primary concern was old batty Yoda which I had adored as a child because MUPPETS. They were willing to die to keep him safe and there was this lovely reciprocity in taking care of each other and all of them, clones and Jedi alike were doomed to extinction and I don’t think I knew yet HOW the clones were except they weren’t in the OT so there was shit going down.

Tragic figures, loyal found family, incredible voice acting, Batty Old Yoda who OH YEAH FUCKING KICKED SO MUCH ASS I COULD NEVER GET ENOUGH.

I wanted to keep those three clones. I was willing to keep them all.

Final blow, that knocked me into the fandom so hard I’ll be surprised if I ever leave?

THIS.

The origins of Balance. This is the post that started a simple notion, to try to write something when I’d gone….anywhere from 7 to 10 years of not writing A SINGLE. DAMNED. THING of substance – and that was after thinking I might try to get a degree related to it.

Darth Wraith was a tentative idea. I was scared @deadcatwithaflamethrower would be irked I wanted to play in her sandbox (oh my gods I was inserting myself into a conversation with her this amazing person who wrote blindingly well and so damn much and how the FUCK was I daring to speak up about a silly half DREAM I’d had because once again I couldn’t sleep).

Then, because I was trying to break out of the depression, the cycles of mental ill health, and if I was on this tumbls thing, fuck it, I’d try the IM thing again.

I’d been gone long enough that pretty much no one on my contact list was still there. That…was ok. There wasn’t the pressure.

And Dogmatix popped on, asking if I wanted to share details about this Sith Qui-Gon thing.

I had A SCENE. ONE. SCENE. And she was spinning it off into this EPIC, which at first I was gleeful because she had neat ideas and I couldn’t wait to see what she would do with it and then wait, she’s not talking about writing it herself, this is more about something WE could work on.

Thank gods it was IM, because I had a little panic about commitment to a project when I regularly was sure I wasn’t going to see tomorrow and if I didn’t wake up one morning that’d be MORE than ok.

Still. There was that itch. The visuals in my brain. The characters I’d started to like in Flamethrower’s universe, which had formed my mental voices for them.

The only sound in my head for so long was just screaming.

Writing down that scene in Knock On Effect, where Venge meets Wraith – that felt good. It never changed much from the first draft to what was posted. The rest grew, and quickly. It was clear if we were doing this, then there were multiple stories, spanning in universe years.

And then there were spinoffs. Wonderful ideas and plots spiraling away from this one notion, and gods I wanted to write about those glorious clones.

How’d I get into Star Wars?

Chance. One strange little step at a time, and a bunch of miracles and horrors that kept me bleeding but not dying. Damn good fic. The kindness of friends. The generosity of strangers.

The tragedy of a once great order of space monks, and their allies-forced-to-be-betrayers clones.

One little picture, of Qui-Gon Jinn with Sith eyes.

[stvrwar]

wait out the plastic weather

marauders social media au | 2k words | they’re youtubers bc why not and bc @frxddi is up this trope’s ass | ao3

james potter to tucci gang: you guys see the newest vid

sirius black: you mean the newest video that all of us are fucking in

sirius black: that cideo?

sirius black: *video

remus lupin: the video you uploaded and sent all of us the link to like…twelve minutes ago?

peter pettigrew: I think he might mean that video

james potter: fuck all of you not that video

james potter: and it has a name. it is out cHILD

remus lupin: pardon me, I didn’t realize “getting kicked out of Walmart #4” fit on the birth certificate

james potter: I have small handwriting

remus lupin: my mistake

james potter: ur mistake indeed but

james potter: not our fucking video morons

peter pettigrew: ur unnecessarily mean to us

james potter: lily evans video. The woman of my dreams. The greatest youtuber to ever fucking live

sirius black: now that’s just hurtful

remus lupin: and also why the fuck would we have watched her video?

james potter: now who’s hurtful?

-

remus lupin to so pete davidson and ariana grande are engaged and idk who I am anymore: sirius why is this our chat name now

sirius black: bc idk who I am anymore

peter pettigrew: is it bc ur in love with ariana grande

james potter: he loves ariana and he’s in love with pete

remus lupin: I can’t believe you’ve never told us

peter pettigrew: im touched

remus lupin: when’s the wedding?

sirius black: okay fuck all of u she is an icon and he is hilarious

james potter: ur face is hilarious

sirius black: im leaving you for him

james potter: babe no I didn’t mean it

sirius black: u’ve hurt me too many times

james potter: I promise I’ll change for you

remus lupin removed sirius black from the chat

remus lupin removed james potter from the chat

peter pettigrew: this happens like twice a fucking week

remus lupin: so how’ve you been pete?

peter pettigrew: pretty shook about that engagement tbh

remus lupin removed peter pettigrew from the chat

remus lupin: I am an island.

-

sirius black to the office season 2 episode 7: yo Walmart 4 is on trending wtf

james potter: !!!!!!!!!

peter pettigrew: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

remus lupin: im not gonna do that

sirius black: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

james potter: what number is it on trending??? Is this twitter or youtube btw

sirius black: youtube and #6

remus lupin: shit that’s our best yet

peter pettigrew: anyone check the subscriber count recently????

sirius black: the marauders are at 3.1 million what the FUCK IS UP YO

remus lupin: im so surprised u aren’t key smashing

sirius black: is it because im gay

remus lupin: no it’s because u have massive thumbs and can’t text to save your life

remus lupin: yes because you’re gay

sirius black: that’s homophobic. Im not gay bc I keysmash

peter pettigrew: ??? neither of you are straight. ????

remus lupin: no you keysmash bc you’re gay

james potter: WE ARE TRENDING WE CAN ARGUE ABOUT THIS LATER

james potter changed chat name to BRAINSTORMING SESSION ASAP

sirus black: porn

james potter removed sirius black from the chat

peter pettigrew: tasteful porn so we don’t get demonetized

james potter: keep talking

-

james potter to twinky winky is a great porn parody title why are you booing me: aquarium vid is a goooooooooooo

remus lupin: but the question is, can we live up to Walmart 4 hype

remus lupin: bc that shit is going insane online. People love it

remus lupin: we’re hoodlums, vandals

sirius lupin: loveable vandals and hoodlums

peter pettigrew: I feel like that’s debatable tbh

remus lupin: we as a collective whole have been kicked out of four separate walmarts

remus lupin: do you know how far I have to drive to get my fried chicken at 2 am

james potter: why the fuck are you getting fried chicken at 2 am

remus lupin: I don’t need this judgement

sirius black: so how’s the aquarium vid faring

peter pettigrew: u know what sirius is being the rational one for once and im too focused on the fried chicken to be amazed

remus lupin left twinky winky is a great porn parody title why are you booing me

peter pettigrew changed the chat name to colonel lupin’s fried chicken

sirius black: is it really that rare that im the rational one?

sirius black: jk ik im a messy bitch

-

peter pettigrew to three’s company: uh. Guys has james seen this yet

peter pettigrew sent an image

remus lupin: oh fuck

sirius black: well I haven’t heard any high pitched screeching yet so, no

peter pettigrew: she’s got more subscribers than we do, it would be good for the channel

sirius black: she’s a video game streamer what sorta collab are we supposed to do with that

remus lupin: idk, maybe a vid on her channel, a vid on ours? She’s in the same city so like, shouldn’t be too hard, right?

sirius black: welp he’s screaming so he definitely has seen the comment now.

-

james potter to chad and ryan were gay fuck you disney: “hey we should totally do a collab sometime! Message me :)”

sirius black: u have sent that TWELVE FUCKING TIMES NOW

sirius black: TWELVE

remus lupin: let the boy live

peter pettigrew: okay but the smiling is a little concerning tbh

remus lupin: @james potter have you even sent the fucked message yet? What did it say?

james potter: “hey! I’m so excited that you wanted to do a collab with us! I love your channel and doing something would be super great for both of us. Anything you had in mind?”

james potter: did I come off as a crazy person?

sirius black: in the best way possible

remus lupin: somehow that doesn’t feel like a compliment?

peter pettigrew: maybe you should use MORE exclamation points

james potter: stfu I am an expert at talking to the most beautiful woman in the world

sirius black: excuse me

james potter: I said woman

sirius black: tell me im pretty

-

james potter to little pig boy comes from the dirt: fuck gotta clean this shit up

james potter changed chat name to the marauders group chat

sirus black: ??????????????? wtf

remus lupin: has james been bodyswapped

peter pettigrew: like the movie face/off with nic cage?

remus lupin: I feel like there are better examples of body swapping

james potter added lily evans to the marauders group chat

sirius black: oh fuck now that makes sense

remus lupin changed chat name to little pig boy comes from the dirt

lily evans: from that SNL skit?

lily evans: I fucking love pete davidson tbh even though he breaks in like every skit

lily evans: did you guys hear that he and ariana got engaged? Idk who I’m more jealous of

sirius black removed james potter from the chat

sirius black: she’s our new james

-

peter pettigrew to owen wilson saying yeah for 2 hrs: drink every time someone comments about sirius’s appearance on a vid

james potter: “im a simple girl. I see sirius, I click.”

remus lupin: the words that will haunt my nightmare

james potter: the comments on the drag trying vid are…bonkers

peter pettigrew: who even says bonkers

lily evans: wow okay some of these commenters are…creative

james potter: by creative, do you mean terrifying?

lily evans: yes yes I do

remus lupin: I don’t even get it. He’s not that great looking?

sirius black: okay fuck you, u trick ass hoe

remus lupin: like, you cannot be everyone’s type

sirus black: trick ass hoe

remus lupin: im just being rational. You’re also like out. So who is thinking that saying they wanna have your babies is valid

lily evans: surrogacy?

peter pettigrew: sperm donation?

james potter: adoption?

remus lupin: fuck all of you individually and as a unit

sirius black: trick ass hoe

-

lily evans to shake shake shake senora: okay just posted my collab vid let’s see how this goes

james potter: what did u end up calling it?

lily evans: “i teach 4 idiots how to play overwatch”

sirius black: harsh but fair

remus lupin: we didn’t do that badly

peter pettigrew: remus die with dignity we did fucking awful

james potter: idk what it meant when lily kept calling me a hanzo main and laughing but it felt hurtful

lily evans: good. It was.

-

remus lupin to three rings to rule them all: so has james seen that people are shipping him and lily yet

remus lupin: because we should NOt let him know about that

peter pettigrew: he’d fucking cry

sirius black: theyd be called lames

sirius black: ha

-

sirius black to james potter: dude you gotta stop staring at lily when she comes over for pizza nights

sirius black: she’s gonna notice

sirius black: or like stop pretending that she isn’t noticing

james potter: wait you think she’s noticed

sirius black: christ you dumbass

-

lily evans to marlene mckinnon: you seen my newest collab with the marauders

marlene mckinnon: we’re roommates, obvi

marlene mckinnon: did u steal my lipstick

lily evans: okay but like. The comments

lily evans: …………………………………..what of it

marlene mckinnon: gonna kill u evans <3

marlene mckinnon: okay wow they really want u to get all up on glasses

lily evans: that one’s potter

marlene mckinnon: they want u to climb him like a tree

marlene mckinnon: do the horizontal tango

marlene mckinnon: netflix and chill

lily evans: these are getting less clever

marlene mckinnon: suck his dick

-

peter pettigrew to wwlbd (what would leonard bernstein do): uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh guys we are on tv

peter pettigrew: TV LIKE WE ARE ON FUCKIN TV

peter pettigrew: TELEVISION

sirius black: what

james potter: what

remus lupin: what

peter pettigrew: OKAY like not us but like. Our video. Walmart #4

remus lupin: great now everyone’s gonna know we’re fucking vandals

james potter: im fucking crying

sirius black: IM FUCKING CRYING

peter pettigrew: oh shit now it’s the video with @Lily Evans

peter pettigrew: we are being called charming and loveable with an “adoring” fanbase

lily evans: oh my god??????????? How’d you (we) even end up on tv

peter pettigrew: idfk! Some like...social media segment or something

-

sirius black to smonk wed: settle a bet for me

remus lupin: christ here we go

sirius black: I don’t appreciate the tone

remus lupin: christ! Here we go!

sirius black: whatver, acceptable, james wants to bone lily

remus lupin: uh

peter pettigrew: that be known

remus lupin: u know this isn’t the three man chat right

lily evans: uh

james potter removed sirius black from the chat

-

peter pettigrew to remus owes me like $20 and some triscuits: who ate all my freezy pops

sirius black: who the fuck calls them freezy pops

remus lupin: who let you back into any of the chats

sirius black: fuk u m8

james potter: he was crying so i let him back in

sirius black: and lily isn’t in this chat so i can say all the shit i want

james potter: i wish u wouldn’t

remus lupin: seconded

peter pettigrew removed sirius black from the chat

james potter: problem solved! peter pettigrew: okay but who ate my freezy pops

-

lily evan to james potter: so are we going to talk about it

james potter: about what precisely

lily evans: the revolution of the moon and the fact it’s made of cheese?

james potter: ah yes, it’s swiss btw

lily evans: the moon?

james potter: clearly

-

COMMENTS ON “THE MARAUDERS TRY DRAG FT. LILY EVANS (EVANSLY)

Chaitea7: oh my god why the fuck is sirius so pretty im jealous wtf

Janeyloo: okay but anybody else picking up on the tension between james and the redhead??

                  VIEW REPLIES

                            4marauderssssss: @Janeyloo that’s lily evans, she’s                                        another youtuber and she’s fucking great

                            dva-main3: they are definitely a thing, i agree

                            greektragdy: okay but does this make their ship name                                       lames? LIMES?

thomasthetrainbdsm: is wormtail ever gonna make another appearance? I love that funky little rat

dwightkshroooot: okay but why isn’t lily actually a like...try vlogger like these guys? she outdid sirius which is like. Unheard of.

                  VIEW REPLIES

                             dianaprinces234: like i never thought id see the day

                             yalldve: she looks so good wtf im shook

dhfakjshdgljdsl: i want lily evans to step on me and i would                              say thank you

                  VIEW REPLIES

                             honeynutcheetos: p sure james thinks the same thing lmao

                             011000110110000101110100: lmao right???? Im so gay

                            TheMarauders: I definitely think the same thing -James                                     Potter

[sunnycityshadypeople]

Defining Heartbreak: The Friendzone

I felt like writing and I guess could be a place to put it as it’s my only social media account where I have a bit more anonymity.    I feel hung over as fuck today, but noticed when I was articulating some deeper thoughts with someone that instantly felt better - so here goes with a story not of woe is me, but of the discovery I made about myself  Unrequited love over the years has reared it’s head a couple times.    In my early twenties, a guy I met online on Gaydar (is that site still a thing) - became a friend. I was actually his first gay friend and we hung out a lot.  We both went ot the same university and had one class that we both had in common - despite studying different degrees.   I thought he was super cute, intelligent and a catch - he had a certain confident swagger about him. Nothing sexual ever happened between us.   He then went overseas to live in France for a year - studying at the same university that the recently departed Kofi Annan.   Fast forward a year and over that time of missing him, I realised I had feelings for him and the cliche of distance only making the heart grow fonder certainly rung true.   When he finally returned to Australia, I was so happy to see him and a bunch of us hit the town together. A friend brought his rather cute pal along and joined me and my crush on a night out.   As it turns out, my friend’s cute pal ended up hooking up with my crush.  In a tree. IN A FUCKING TREE.  

I was crushed.      Like *spoiler alert* Captain America watching his best mate Bucky die or Tony Stark seeing a fading spiderman begging him not to go.   Yeah I was in my early 20s but it was defining moment of heartbreak. 

I dont remember how long after but I was moping around at my brother’s place and my sister was there.  She saw me dejected and withdrawn, asking me ‘what’s wrong?’ - I left out the front door and sat on the balcony and ugly cried.   And not the ugly crying I did when KFC stopped selling hot and spicy chicken, this was far far worse.  And a defining moment of heartbreak.  Sidebar:  I’ve always been a bit of a philosphical existentialist - mainly due to the the movie ‘The Matrix’.  The nature of reality fascinates me.    When I was 18, the philosphical book ‘The Celestine Prophecy’ came into my life... I actually ‘found’ the book on the street (I kid you not!) and it changed my life and the way I think abnd that’s where the true existentialist in me had an awakening. anyways. I’ve always been an introspective soul -- something perhaps most people I know don’t realise.  The cyclic nature of life (ok picture me holding my laptop up ala the Lion King pose as we sing the Circle of Life) - means that sometimes it feels like things repeat themselves.  I sometimes forget about the lessons that we need to learn and of course it came from another defining moment of heartbreak - this time in my mid 30′s.  I’d started chatting to this guy on a dating app mid 2016.    I thought he was super cute, intelligent and a catch - he had a certain confident swagger about him.   Feeling a sense of De ja vu?  No,it’s not a glitch in the matrix.    I tend to have a long lead time before I meet anyone online (I’m sure there’s a basis of fear of rejection in there but really are you that surprise after hearing that fucking sob story before!?) Anyways, we ran into each other at the gym and that was the first time we met.  We hung out a few times, and certainly these felt like dates.  We had a lot in common (and a lot in difference too), laughed alot and he was probably the first guy in a long time I met whose personality I loved.    He was witty at time cutting, his text game was super strong - but I’d usually own him face to face.   We’d spend our days jibing at each other trying to insult each other with memes (because Memes are life, right!?).  One time I was chatting to him via text -  describing a guy I used to like and how this dude and I had a lot common, was super nice... he replied to me ‘Kinda like us really?’  AND WHOA hold up this could be a romantasiced re-telling of my overthinking interpretation of a message - but that was sliding doors moment that would lead me to my next defining heartbreak.     I should have taken the bait.  But I was scared.  My absolute fear of rejection was scared to just tell this dude I like him - even if I was misconstrued in that message.    I do prefer voice messages over text because tone is a hard mother fucker to judge - thank god for emojis and ifs but still - just press that record button on whatsapp (He didnt’ like voice messages as he thought they were lazy) whereas I like to really convey my meaning.

Unless that meaning is ‘cue Madonna’ “IM CRAAAAZY FOR YOU TOUCH ME ONCE and you’ll know it’s truuuuue I never wanted anyone like this it’s all brand new... you’ll feel it in my kiss, you’ll feel it in my touch because I’m crazy for you - touch me once and you’ll know its’ true’

Anyways sorry about that Australian Idol gone Karaoke wrong moment. If you’ve fallen asleep reading this, you can thank me for the cure to insomnia later.  Ok, cut to the chase Jimbo - fast forward a year and half of being friends with someone you secretly love.  I use the term’ secretly’ loosely - because OMG was I just coming across as the love sick despo girl - random presents in his mailbox, being the nicest most supportive, generous friend - because hey, maybe he’ll come around if I kill him with kindness.  There’s an excellent article on being in the friendzone you should read by the way - I’ll talk about that later. I’m not going to go into details out of respect for this guy, but I knew inherently and the truth of the matter was no matter what I did or who I was - he was still on his Rupaul ‘can’t love nobody unless you love yourself’ journey.   So the harsh reality, and the ‘hes just not that into you’ vibes as espoused by Oprah back in the day meant this defining heartbreak was a bit different to the first.   I knew it was too far into the friendzone (never say never, but yeah let’s be real).. if it’s in the friendzone, they have to give you something that’ll finally get you into the endzone.  Anyways, I’d do anything for this guy.  Despite actually rationally speaking he didn’t tick some major core values for me.  It’s funny how attraction works.   A close friend who is a counsellor told me about ‘attachment styles’ (look it up, I wont digress more than I already have) - but essentially I was a major victim (of my own doing, because people don’t cause us to feel - we cause us to feel - think about that for a sec).. I was a major victim of treat em mean keep em keen. And I kept coming back for more.   I even tried weening myself off him by disengaging and that was great, but then we re-engaged. His was of re-engaging was sending me a message that said ‘Welfare Check’.  If it was me, I’d be like ‘Hey dude, I miss you! whats up!?’  The last time we saw each other was almost 2 months ago - nothing dramatic went down, but after not seeing the guy for a few weeks - he could only afford me about 40 minutes of his time.    It was a pleasant catch up but neither of us have communicated since.   He’s stubborn and I’m stubborn too.  But ulimately, it’s not healthy for me to love someone who doesn’t know what to do with my love.   And I look back at my own behaviour and do a major eyeroll because I really should save that stuff for someone who likes me back. That article I mentioned above - which I’ll post the link to - had a very simple suggestion and rule to avoid unrequited love and being in the friendzone. Only like somone who likes you back. OH MY FUCKING GOD REGINA YOU COULD HAVE TOLD ME THAT A YEAR AND A HALF AGO! Anyways, I’ve had some amazing dates and met a couple awesome guys (there’s still a them of them not living in the same city as me but hey I can deal with that for the moment). I have a lot of love in my life and the love I give  is welcomed and I’m not feeling like I’m being treated as an afterthought.  I emphasis ‘feeling’ because the truth is, I may not be an afterthought to him.   But actions do speak louder than words, and his inaction has spoken to me.   That’s cool.   My love will always be there.   But in defining heartbreak, I defined myself and thank you for reading this I’d like to thank the academy and you for being you. You are loved. 

[lifegoeson-wecarryon]

Youtube AU Chapter 3

YouTube AU That-Doesn’t-Have-A-Name-Yet Also this has a part with Trixies POV bc why not have some adorable fangirling Words: 1235 
AU Summary: Simon and Baz are popular YouTubers with a rivalry.
 Chapter Summary: Simon and Baz have yet another “fight” on twitter. First Chapter | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

[Penelope] I walk into the living room to see Simon on his laptop, eyebrows pushed together in frustration. “On Twitter with Baz again?” “He never gives up!” Simon throws his arms up in frustration, and I snicker. “Neither do you.” “Exactly! It never ends–” I walk over and sit next to him. “What are you two fighting over this time?” He looks even more frustrated, and I can’t help but laugh. “Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten already.” “It- It’s hard to keep up with our back and forth insults, much less remember why we’re fighting! It’s probably something stupid anyway!!” “Your face is getting red.” “From anger.” “If you’re so angry, then why are you smiling?” “Fuck off.” I roll my eyes at him. Honestly, his crush is just so painfully obvious, no matter how much he tries to hide it. I lean over to get a better look at his screen. He’s on Baz’s Twitter, refreshing the page every minute. Each time a new tweet pops up, Simon immediately clicks on reply. I roll my eyes. “Really, Simon? You’re calling him an egg?” “Shut up, I’m running out of insults.” “What you’re saying is that he has the upper hand?” “I said shut up.” I roll my eyes again. Honestly, all they’re doing with this ‘lovers quarrel’ is fuelling the shippers even more, and neither of them even realise it. I snicker, getting an idea and pulling my phone out. I don’t use Twitter as much as these two- obviously- but I still have one. I use it sometimes. I go to the Twitter app and start typing.

pennyforyourthoughts- @wingedmage @fangsandflames Stop flirting and get a room you two. Honestly.

I chuckle when I click post, looking over to Simon for his reaction. He gets the notification that I’ve tagged him in something, and looks at me confused. He clicks on it. “PENNY WHAT THE FUCK?!?” I’m laughing so hard now, there are tears in my eyes. “It- oh god- it’s deemed appropriate.” “We weren’t flirting!!” “Are you sure, Simon? I know for a fact that you wouldn’t mind.” “Fuck off.” I know that’s Simon speak for 'I have lost the argument’, and I just start laughing even harder. My laugh is silent now and I probably look like a maniac, but it’s worth it to see Simon’s bright red face through my squinting eyes. When I finally stop laughing, I see that Simon is glaring at me. “Come on, Si. You have to admit that it was funny.” He tries but fails to hide a smile, and snickers. “Yeah, kind of. Good job, Pen.” “Seriously though, you two need to get a room. All this flirting is going to make me go insane.” He rolls his eyes, but doesn’t retort. A few minutes pass, and I smirk at him when I feel my phone vibrate. I reach into my pocket to grab it. I chuckle, looking at the notification.

fangsandflames- @pennyforyourthoughts @wingedmage Man, do I wish.

“Look Simon, Baz wants to room with you.” “Shut up, Penny!” “Haha.” He groans, standing up and walking off into the kitchen. He’s going to go eat some scones, knowing him. He’s bloody obsessed with scones. His computer password is literally 'sourcherryscone413’. It’s crazy. I feel a smirk come across my face as I pull his laptop back towards me.

[Simon] When I walk back into the living room, Penny is smiling at me innocently. “What did you do?” I ask, and she shakes her head. “Why do you think I did something?” “You only give me that look when you do something, Pen.” She chuckles, standing up. “I did nothing wrong, just posted some random nonsense using your Twitter. No harm done.” I quickly race to my laptop, opening it. There’s three new posts on my Twitter.

wingedmage- EFL: Speaking Inside Monday Only Night. Hungry And Sleepy. Ambitious. (1 of 3)

wingedmage- EFL: Carry Right Under Someone Human. Only Negative. Basically Anything Zombie. (2 of 3)

wingedmage- This has been a special message from Penelope Bunce. (3 of 3)

I turn to her, raising my eyebrow. “Penny, what does this all even mean?” She smiles. “I told you, it’s just nonsense. I was bored.” “Why couldn’t you just use your account?” “Your fans know what to do with it, I suppose.” “What?” “It’s nothing you need to worry about, Simon. You know I’d never say anything that would hurt you.” “You’ll say stuff to tease me.” “Only in private.” I shrug. She’s won this round, but she won’t win next time.

[Trixie] I’ve been looking at Baz and Simon’s respective twitter pages for the past half hour, laughing at their bickering. No one can convince me that it’s not another lovers quarrel. I’m sketching yet another Snowbaz fan art. I think I’ll make a comic, using some quotes from this 'fight.’ What can I say? I’m a huge fan girl, and everyone knows it. I refresh Simon’s page, and three new tweets have appeared.

wingedmage- EFL: Speaking Inside Monday Only Night. Hungry And Sleepy. Ambitious. (1 of 3)

wingedmage- EFL: Carry Right Under Someone Human. Only Negative. Basically Anything Zombie. (2 of 3)

wingedmage- This has been a special message from Penelope Bunce. (3 of 3)

For a moment, I’m confused. I open up a chat with my friend, Gareth.

pixiestix: hey hey gareth what’s efl mean buckleuptom: Why? pixiestix: what’s it meeeeean buckleuptom: I don’t know. What’s the context? pixiestix: penny hacked simons Twitter and posted something and I swear it’s a secret message buckleuptom: Huh. buckleuptom: Maybe it means “Every First Letter.” Or something. pixiestix: cool thaaaaaaanks

I crack my knuckles. Time to decipher some shit. All together, it reads: Speaking Inside Monday Only Night. Hungry And Sleepy. Ambitious. Carry Right Under Someone Human. Only Negative. Basically Anything Zombie. The first letter of each word is all capitalised. Maybe the periods are spaces. Let’s see… S I M O N. Simon. What about Simon? H A S. Has. What does he have? I let out a gasp when I read over the rest. A moment later, and I start squealing.

pixiestix: GARETH GARETH GEARTJ AJSHDBDHDJ buckleuptom: Calm down. What’s up? pixiestix: I FIGURED OUT THE MESSAGE OHHHH MY GOD GARETH I KNEW IT I KNEW IT buckleuptom: Trixie, you’re stuck on all caps. Calm down. pixiestix: sorry! im just!!!! super happy omg its canon pixiestix: well not really canon canon more like half canon buckleuptom: What? pixiestix: i know this is true because Penny confirmed it!!! Just now!!! aaaaaa Gareth do you know what this means??? buckleuptom: I don’t even know what you’re talking about. pixiestix: gareth!!! check simons twitter right now!!!!! buckleuptom: Fine, Christ, if it will make you calm down.

I wait patiently, spinning around in my office chair. Keris walks in, her long hair up in a pony tail. “Keris!!!!! Babe!!!! You’re not gonna believe this!!!!!” She smiles softly, walking over and planting a kiss on my cheek. “What’s got you so excited?” “Simon-” I spin back to my computer when I hear a ping, and check my messages.

buckleuptom: Oh. Oh my god. That’s beautiful. pixiestix: ikr!!!! buckleuptom: Although, you can’t get your hopes up. Penelope could just be messing with you.

I frown at my computer. Gareth always has to be a Debby Downer. Keris looks at me curiously, and I ignore Gareth. “Simon has a crush on Baz!” I blurt out.

[vonseal]

what im weak for this week

yet again, im dumb so we have two weeks worth! i’ll be on top of it next time, i promise!

this is real long, forewarning, but you guys are such good writers sooooo

(from now on, im keeping a running draft that i will just post once a week, this takes so long when i wait two weeks omg)

two boys; one bed by fivepixelphan

(tbh this sounds like it’s going to be dirtier than it is) (and in case you’re wondering, it’s 0% dirty, 100% cute) i love socky and i dont love unrequited feelings and so i was pretty covered in this fic, because it’s SOCKY WITH A HAPPY ENDING! all i wanted was a happy ending while reading through this fic, so bless fivepixelphan for coming through for me! <3

faking it by koutarous

when moonbin needs a fake boyfriend, who does he choose? obviously eunwoo because binu lives forever in our hearts!!! this sort of reminded me of coffee prince, without the whole “eunwoo is a girl holy cow” type of thing going on, which is just fine with me! i love the plot, because it’s corny and cliched and that’s legit my middle name (corny and cliched - it’s no longer Vonseal). please please please read this! it was just perfect!

you & me by sanhasbinu

why do i expect happy fics, all of a sudden there is an influx of angst and my heart is being ripped from my chest. sanahasbinu has been on here before with an angsty fic (cotton candy, check it out), and i thought maybe i wouldn’t have to deal with the pain anymore, but i do. i do. and i love every second of the heart-wrenching feels (i’m 21 and i still use feels unironically, lord save me).

i saw an angel by parkjinwoes

SOMEONE GIFTED SOCKY TO ME!!! i cried reading it, it was long and funny and sort of sad at times, i just wanted them both to be happy together, but then this line: However, Yoon Sanha is also terrible at keeping secrets and feelings to himself. Oblivious to him, Park Minhyuk is too good at doing that. THAT MADE ME REALIZE i gotta trudge through the sad first before getting to the happy. but when i got to the happy, BOY OH MAN it was definitely happy. big recommendation right here!

centaurea cyanus by A_N_D_Y

I WAS SO SCARED OMG. usually with these hanahaki type of fics (tbh i still dont fully understand what the hanahaki thing is or how it came about, but i’ve read three astro fics relating to this so i may or may not be a sorta-expert), someone ends up dying??? annnnnd i really thought death would come in this fic. and i dont want to tell how it ends, but pls understand binu is forever alive and well within our hearts (and maybe the fic, i may or may not be giving away the ending)

shopping list by Shinigamibutter

when she releases cute myungjin, she really release cute myungjin. i mean, this was so fluffy and domestic and i just wanted it to go on forever and ever. never before has a shopping trip been so interesting!!! never before has it filled me with such joy and happiness! also BUTT GROPING YES (you guys learned my weakness)

like a game of hide-and-seek by kimtaehyungsleftpinky

frat boy jinwoo is something i never knew i needed in my life, but good golly, i did need it. coupled with cat owner myungjun (also my weakness - cats and myungjun, how dare) this fic was just perfect??? i want to know more about their relationship and  “I don’t like your cat.” Jinwoo muttered and looked at Marco in disgust. Myungjun gasped and covered Marco’s ears as if the cat had understood what Jinwoo had said. this just made my entire day, that’s a me thing, hashtag relatable.

our own space travels, shall we leave? by spaceviolet (vividplum)

MINHYUK IS THE TRUE MVP OF THIS FIC. i wish i had barista minhyuk all the time. but we have more socky (i am REALLY loving this sudden rush of socky fics, you guys rock!) and SANHA GETS STOOD UP and i’ll punch whoever stood him up. but minhyuk is ready with the correct drink order, bless this barista, and his pals are hilarious and i just had a lot of feelings for this fic <3

soft rock by birdbrainberke

soft pebble minhyuk, so soft and so in love with yoon sanha. this is the socky sequel (is it a sequel?) to the broken bones fic i posted and raved about recently, and oh my good golly, i love this so much. i love the insight to minhyuk’s character, and the reasons he does the things he does and says the things he says. also he is #savage towards bin, which cracks me up, and i love birdbrainberke and all his beautiful, wonderful fics <3

blood, sweat & tears by jiminaddiction

(is this a bts reference? i’ve only heard three bts songs, but i think this is a bts reference?) so im a little nervous about this one because it’s got some crazy tags that make me scared for the future. I DO NOT LIKE SADNESS AND PAIN and i think i’m going to get it. im a soft, meek marshmallow, and i finally found some Moonrock and I KNOW THERE WILL BE SADNESS AND PAIN. but i think i can trudge through, i will be strong!

cliche by Shinigamibutter

THIS IS SO SOFT AND CUTE BINU how do you write such cute and soft binu??? idk, but i love the little descriptions of bin’s smile and eunwoo’s absolute infatuation with him, like this is short and sweet and it pierces my heart with the cute, bless u for this!

the sweet ride home by diametrical

idk if you guys know this, but i love kids and i love families and i love astro, so when you just combine all three of these into one, im just a melted pile of gooey feelings. binu and eunwoo as a single dad kills my heart it just melts it all completely. this was so well-written, too, and i found myself ready to sacrifice someone to get more of it (i jest only slightly).

made in the a.m. by koutarous

tbh mj is me drinking - i’ve been forbidden to drink at work events anymore because i am easily drunk, i am not sorry for my low alcohol tolerance and neither is mj, apparently, because he does it regardless. i didnt expect the MYUNGJIN BUT I GOT THE MYUNGJIN and i may or may not have just fallen in love with it???? bless u for writing this (underage drinking = big no no)

secret by j_kwanboo

JINCHA!!! JIN. CHA. tbh thats all that i need sometimes, some good ol jincha (flashback to jinjin calling eunwoo pretty and my heart melting, that was so cute), and this is cute jincha and also SANHA LOSES HIS INNOCENT EYES, PLEASE SPARE MY CHILD!!! i really loved this fic, i laughed at it and i will hug poor sanha and give him back his purity.

who wrote the book on goodbye? by Rach4040

when i was younger, i thought i was so mature for liking that dear john book by that-fantastic-romance-author-whose-name-escapes-me, but then i realized i hate those goodbyes for lengthy periods of time, so by all accounts i should hate this, but i can’t because it’s cute and pure and it is a little sad, but i know it will be happy in the end!!! <3

train to busan astro au by @glowingjinjin

i am still very mad at this whole fic, do not read if you value your heart in one piece, im not even kidding i just cried over this a lot and im waiting for some cute myungjin, lanna, or else i might punch someone in the face, not naming names at all, but even going back to link this fic made me get flashbacks and i feel empty inside thinking about it. how dare u. dont read this, on second thought, it’s painful.

UPDATED FICS FROM LAST TWO WEEKS -

problems with pastry by sanhasbinu: im glad mj survived war  ^o^ ^o^ ^o^ ^o^

hide and seek by Mintwho (NaCltyRy): mj, why do you gotta be this way??? also why do you gotta write a fic making me choose between my bias and my bias wrecker, like im so sad

the year we met by  fivepixelphan: MY HEART IS SLOWLY BEING MENDED IM DYING IN CUTE FEELS NOW

medley by sassysavagesanha (RedJusticeLibra): i get so hyped whenever this gets updated, you always deliver such cute socky!!!

stray romance by Alette: MJ: im an adult i cant just come willy-nilly. ROCKY: eunwoo has boyfriend. MJ: im coming willy-nilly. i love.

and if you ever have anything you think i need to check out, hit me up with that fic, fams. i dont even care if it’s your own. i check a03 regularly, so if it’s something posted elsewhere, pls let me know!