#and today i got the notification that she checked mine again

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

Staring at the screen thinking, "You can reach out! Please reach out! I'm here, I will always be here for you, please message me. Please."

[aubvrns]

“Never Not Mine”

| SVU & Headcanons

Synopsis — How would they react to you sulking because they have been ignoring your calls.

Note — Olivia Benson, Alexandra Cabot, Casey Novak, Melinda Warner // inspired by the loveliest, @lxndrlvr !

(Female reader centered, no pronouns used!)

———————————————————————

!!

Olivia Benson

• — Olivia would kneel down beside your bed and press kisses all over your hand, apologizing over and over again until you’d look at her.

• — She was not the most responsible person when it came to her personal cellphone. Everyone, especially the captain knew that. One time, Cragen found her phone on top of the coffee maker overheated.

• — This time, she left her phone in the bathroom. Thankfully, it wasn’t waterboarded.

• — When she realizes you are ignoring her, she would straddle your hips and place kisses all over your face just to get a reaction out of you. And once she does, she embarrassedly explains why she missed your calls.

• — “Casey rang it and found in on top of the toilet seat.” She whispers, “Hehe, sorry.”

• — And to make it up to you, Olivia would give her full attention to you by cuddling while you watch a movie unbearably inseperable from eachother. She would hold you, resting her head on your shoulder.

• — Not long enough, she falls asleep against it and you couldn’t help but laugh. You really needed to by her a phone charm next time.

Alexandra Cabot

• — She would go home with your favorite flowers, chocolates, and even the cardigan you didn’t realize was missing. You didn’t bother being mad anymore, you just shut your eyes and slept.

• — To be fair, it was 12 AM in the morning. And you didn’t have the energy to be mad at her for missing your calls.

• — Alexandra Cabot, the blonde insomniac who rarely sleeps properly, somehow found herself sleeping on her desk for three hours straight. While her phone was flooded of your calls, her back hurt.

• — She would try to call you back, but assumes you have up on waiting for her.

• — Alex would go to the nearest mall that was still surprisingly open and buy you the things that you like. Tell me why the woman bought a massager as well.

• — “I certainly deserve the back pain for sleeping in my office.” Alex says as you knead her back gently, bringing ease to her body.

• — She would hug you tightly, inhaling your comforting scent in the crook of your neck as she tells you why she missed your calls. She knew you were listening because she would tickle your sides and you would squirm everytime.

Casey Novak

• — Casey would open the door slowly to your room, smiling awkwardly as you ask why she hasn’t been picking up your calls. She could only smile, her cute dimples popping out.

• — She had left her charger at home with her phone running at thirty percent for the whole day. She tried to borrow one from Elliot, but he said he accidentally broke it trying to contemplate his anger.

• — So, it was a whole day of her praying to God that you did not call her out of your worry. Unfortunately, you did. About a million times.

• — She would distract you by huskily whispering compliments in your ear as you lean in her hug, a displeased but smiling expression lies on your face.

• — Casey would cradle you and you would just stay still, letting her do whatever the hell she wants with you. You were glad that she was home, and all that matters is that she is safe.

• — But you playfully roll your eyes as she jokingly starts to sing you a lullaby and coaxing you down on the bed as if you were a newborn baby.

• — “So, I forgot my charger. 😁”

Melinda Warner

• — Melinda would go home to you sleeping peacefully in your bed. She smiles to herself, adjusting your blanket further up your neck.

• — She got cozy. Changing her clothes, unpacking her work bag, and eventually joining you between the sheets.

• — Melinda wasn’t that sleepy yet, so she checks her phone for the first time today. She was confused why she didn’t have any notifications. Turns out, her phone was on do-not-disturb the whole time.

• — When she turns it off, your missed call notifications came flooding her phone to the point you were awaken by the sound of endless chiming. She was in shock, completely unaware that you’ve been calling her.

• — “I’m sorry, darling. I must’ve clicked DND on accident, I didn’t mean to miss your—”

• — You interrupted her by hugging her tiredly, just resting in her embrace. She closes her mouth, playing with your hair to bring you consolation for being alone without any updates.

• — She grins warmly, her eyes observing your peaceful features resting. Melinda met her own weary too, she has alot of making up to do in the morning.

!!

[iamtired10]

once upon a sleepless night

pairing: pham hanni x fem! reader

genre: pure fluff.

warning: mention of mother insomnia and kissing.

SUMMARY: it’s one of those sleepless nights again. you’re restless, mind racing, but hanni, even though she’s exhausted from her long day, decides to tell you a whimsical fairytale to help lull you into dreamland.

you sighed as you leaned back in your chair, stretching your arms and glancing at the clock on your desk. 9:53 a.m...

“i’ve been at this for four hours straight.. still tired but not sleepy,” you muttered, rubbing your forehead as a persistent ache throbbed. regretting the 7 cups of coffee you’d downed today, you wondered what you could do. you always felt drowsy in class and needed the caffeine to stay awake.

rising from your chair, you decided a break was in order. grabbing your phone and a lollipop from the desk (a sweet gift from your best friend’s sister while you were hanging out), you settled on the couch. you turned on the tv and started scrolling through your phone.

absentmindedly munching on the lollipop, you browsed instagram, checking out the latest posts from newjeans.

**buzz! buzz!!**

a notification popped up, jolting you from your scrolling.

pham honey:

hey there, gorgeous..

the love of my life..

do you need me to bring you anything before i arrive?

your eyes widened in surprise. you paused your lollipop mid-chew, reading hanni’s message over and over.

“wait—what does she mean by 'she’s coming'?” you wondered aloud, trying to recall if she’d mentioned a visit today. nothing came to mind. she’d been swamped with idol commitments, and it had been a month since you last saw her. newjeans had just had their comeback, and they were buried in work—stages, photoshoots, and all the usual idol grind.

and you missed her. a lot.

her hugs, her kisses, her voice, her smile, her playful teasing, her jokes—everything.

you quickly tapped out a response, your excitement evident.

you:

wait you’re coming over? 

omg, you could’ve given me a heads up! 

i didn’t clean my room today 🙂💔 

and all i need right now is 

you ❤️ 

come back soon 

our plants miss you so much 

i mean, our ‘kids’ 

simpsona smith 

and flex armstrong

pham honey:

hehe i wanted to surprise you 🤭 

i’ve got a day off tomorrow

so manager unnie finally gave me the go-ahead to visit you.. yay! 

what did you mean by ‘you need me’ though? 😏 

care to explain? 😜 

and i MISS our ‘kids’ so much 😭 

have they grown up at all? 🥺 

i’m going to shower them with water and love when i get there 🤭

you:

well it’s not a surprise anymore😕

when i said i need you, i meant that i miss you so much, you silly bunny

you’re the only one who completes me

honestly i can't even put into words how much i miss you

could you hurry up a bit

so i can finally give you that big hug?

pretty please 🙏🏻

pham honey:

ooh~ 😏

someone seems extra needy for my affection today huh?

alright i’ll try to walk faster

but be patient, baby.

patience 😉

and...i’m super excited to see you.

i MISSED you too… like a ton?

i’ve been hugging my pillow at night, pretending it’s you ☹️

i can’t wait to shower you with kisses, like SO MANY kisses.

and cuddle you endlessly.

i LOVE YOU so much that it’s hard to even describe.

oh my god why are you so perfect?

you’re unbelievably perfect and i can’t believe you’re MY girlfriend, mine <3

you’re mine

oh god 🤭 i THINK I’M OBSESSED.

seriously baby... marry me 😍

you:

stop texting

and come home quickly

you walk so slowly with your short legs ☹️

and don’t you dare be late

pham honey:

wow. that’s kind of rude!

alright alright 🙄

you couldn’t help but smile as you set your phone down. “why is she so cute...” you murmured to yourself. with a sense of urgency, you mentally chastised yourself. “y/n, clean the room before she arrives!” you told yourself as you stood up, lollipop still clutched between your teeth.

you made your way to your room, determined to tidy up. the bed was reasonably clean but still a little messy. you didn’t want your perfect girlfriend, hanni pham, to see it less than immaculate. she deserved everything to be just as perfect as she was.

while humming contentedly and chewing your lollipop, you changed the bedsheets to fresh ones, making sure everything looked neat and inviting.

after you finished, you glanced at the clock. it was 9:31 p.m.

“when is she coming back...” you wondered aloud as you grabbed another lollipop from your desk, tossing the stick from the previous one into the trash. you stepped out of the room, a chuckle escaping you as you imagined hanni possibly tripping over her own feet. it was amusing but also a bit worrying.

hanni was always unpredictable. like, REALLY unpredictable.

you never knew what kind of delightful mischief she’d get up to next...

and it only made her cuter.

you loved her for it.

you loved her for exactly who she was.

you reached for your phone, which you’d left on the couch earlier. the tv’s soft hum played in the background, a distant noise in your current state of anticipation.

just as you were about to enter the final number of your password—

**ding-dong!!**

the doorbell rang loudly, making you jump slightly. “is that her?” you mumbled, the lollipop still dangling from your mouth.

“probably her,” you mused to yourself.

you made your way to the front door, fingers gripping the doorknob. you took a deep breath, peeking through the peephole to get a glimpse of the visitor.

there she was—standing outside the door, looking absolutely adorable in a hoodie...

wait a second—

IS THAT YOUR HOODIE!?

with a resigned sigh, you thought, “nothing new, she’s swiped my hoodie again…”

but she’s finally here...

why am i so nervous? you wondered, turning back to the door. slowly, you opened it. before you could even get a good look, she leapt into your arms, hugging you like a koala.

“oh my god, hanni, i can’t breathe,” you groaned, feeling her arms tighten around you. “come on, you’re squishing me.” even as you grumbled, you couldn’t deny how much you needed this.

“no way,” she mumbled into your neck. “i’ve waited a whole month to hold you again. baby, i missed you so much, like a person who’s lost something vital and can’t get through the day without it.” you stood there, unable to stop the smile spreading across your face, as you wrapped your arms around her. with your foot, you nudged the door shut and locked it.

“can you let go now?” you asked, making your way into the living room.

“uh-uh,” she shook her head, her nose buried in your scent. “why do you always smell so good?” she asked, pulling back just enough for her eyes to meet yours. she looked both exhausted and exhilarated. “i don’t use much perfume. it must just be my natural scent,” you shrugged, still chewing on your lollipop as you gently tried to pull her off the couch.

“no, don’t pull away!” she protested, pouting and crossing her arms, clearly disappointed. “you can’t just push me away after i’ve missed you so much!”

“you just came in from outside. go wash up first, you might have germs. i can’t risk catching anything—eww,” you teased, a smirk playing on your lips as you settled down on the couch opposite her. she huffed in response, turning her head away with a dramatic sigh. “seriously, how could you be so rude?” she grumbled.

“i’m just being careful, you know. can’t help it if that bruises your ego,” you teased, a smirk playing on your lips. “and let’s talk about the whole stealing thing, shall we?”

“stealing? me?” hanni raised an eyebrow, looking at you like you’d just accused her of some heinous crime. “when did i ever steal?”

you rolled your eyes, finally taking the lollipop stick out of your mouth and licking your lips. “don’t try that innocent act with me, pham. it’s not gonna work.”

she huffed dramatically. “fine! i might’ve borrowed one hoodie…”

“oh, just the one?” you crossed your arms, leaning back with a knowing grin.

“ugh, okay, fine! three hoodies!”

you shook your head, a mock-serious look on your face. “no more cuddles for you—”

“five! okay, five of your hoodies! happy now?”

you chuckled, clearly amused. “now i am. i think i'll call the cops now. imagine the headlines: ‘newjeans’ hanni caught red-handed stealing five hoodies from a fan, scandalizing her career.’”

“oh, shut up!” she pouted, crossing her arms. “i have every right to take your hoodies! i need something that smells like you when i miss you... and i even left one of my favorite hoodies with you, didn’t i?” she tried to sound indignant but it came out more like a whine.

without warning, she launched herself at you, nearly knocking you over. you caught her with a laugh, holding her close as she snuggled against you like a clingy koala.

“seriously, you’re gonna give me a heart attack one day,” you grumbled, though you couldn’t hide the smile on your face as you felt her warm breath against your neck.

“oh, please. you’re the one who was begging me to get here fast so you could hug me,” she retorted, her voice muffled against your shoulder.

you ran your fingers through her hair, a soft laugh escaping your lips. “okay, maybe i was being a little sweet... but i didn’t mean it that much.”

“liar!” she pinched your side playfully, making you yelp.

“ow, hanni!” you whined, trying to pull away, but she tightened her grip around you.

“hmm..” she looked up, her eyes meeting yours, weary and soft. “you look exhausted,” you mumbled, gently rubbing her back in slow, comforting circles. she sighed, cupping your face in her small hands. “i am... really tired... today’s practice was brutal. we recorded a new song today and... oh! you know, dani tried to moonwalk and tripped over her own feet!” she chuckled, her eyes lighting up for a moment. “haerin and i had a dance battle... but she beat me this time. minji was teasing me, as usual... and, oh! by the way, hyein told me to say hi. she misses you.” hanni rambled on, her voice a sweet melody to your ears. you couldn't help but chuckle softly as you brushed a strand of hair behind her ear.

“you’re just too cute, baby... i can’t handle it,” you sighed, feeling a surge of affection wash over you. her cuteness was something that always left you both awestruck and grateful.

sometimes, you wondered what good deed you had done in life to deserve a girlfriend as wonderful as her.

“oh, shut up... i’m not that cute,” she grumbled, hiding her face in your neck, her voice muffled. “i don’t get why you and bunnies find me so adorable... you guys are too much.” she playfully hit your chest, causing you to laugh. you pulled her closer, enjoying the way she felt in your arms. “oh, my hanhan is flustered, i see. did i make you blush? yayyy!”

“l/n y/n, can you shut up... or i’ll kiss you,” she threatened, pulling back with a pout. you smirked, “oh really? but sorry, i'm busy eating my lollipop right now.” you teased, chewing the lollipop with a mischievous grin. she rolled her eyes. “is it weird that i'm jealous of that lollipop? you’re giving it more attention than me—”

“excuse me!? pham hanni, stop being so blunt!” you raised your eyebrows, feigning shock, as she crossed her arms, her expression daring. “can’t help it when you're licking that lollipop like that... it's kinda seductive.”

you felt your cheeks heat up, caught off guard by her words. “y-you're so weird...” you muttered, turning your gaze away. “don't look at me like that, you little freak.”

she chuckled at your flustered state, her fingers gently tilting your chin back toward her. “what look, darling?” she asked, raising an eyebrow, a smirk tugging at her lips. before you could respond, she reached out and popped the lollipop out of your mouth, bringing it close to her own lips. “hey, what the hell? that's mine!” you protested, but she just grinned wider.

“it must be really sweet, the way you were eating it... i want to see if it's as good as it looks...” she murmured, her voice dropping to a low, teasing whisper. your eyes widened in realization. “no! don't! that's gross, i already licked it! a little kid gave me that, and you can't just—”

“who said i was going to taste it from here?” she interrupted with a chuckle, her voice sultry and suggestive.

you froze, narrowing your eyes, trying to process her words. then it hit you.

“pham hanni, don’t you dare—”

before you could finish, she leaned in, capturing your lips with hers in a kiss that felt like she had been waiting forever for this moment.

her lips moved against yours with a hunger and intensity that left you breathless, her hands tangling in your hair as she deepened the kiss, leaving your lips swollen and red, and a few love bites on your neck as souvenirs.

just your average pham hanni behavior...

“baby, you're not sleeping?” you snapped out of your thoughts as you looked up from your notebook. you stopped writing and saw hanni lifting her head up from the bed. her hair was a bit messy, her eyes half-open, wearing one of your pajamas, looking absolutely adorable.

“ah.. i just have a few things to finish, my sweet bunny. did the lamp wake you up? sorry, i'll turn it away a bit..” you smiled, adjusting the light so it wouldn't bother her. hanni sat up with a sigh, rubbing her eyes. “what do you mean by 'a few things'? it's 2 a.m... you should be in bed too...” she yawned, clearly still half-asleep.

“can't sleep...” you admitted with a small, nervous laugh, turning your chair to face her. “did you have a nightmare or something? do you want me to cuddle you again?” you asked, getting up and moving towards her side of the bed. she reached out, grabbing your shirt sleeve and pulling you closer, wrapping her arms around your waist. “no, you're the one who should be sleeping...” she mumbled, her voice still heavy with exhaustion.

“you didn’t get much rest last night, and now you’re up again... working through the night like an owl or something,” she huffed, pressing her face against your stomach. you chuckled, patting her back gently. “baby, i can’t help it... even when i’m dead tired, i just can’t seem to fall asleep, no matter what i do...” you admitted, watching as her eyes widened slightly.

“has this been happening a lot lately?” she asked, concern evident in her tone. you nodded. she sighed, “sounds like insomnia... you’ve got insomnia, babe.”

“yeah, you could say that... but don’t sweat it.” you shrugged, rubbing the back of your neck. she scoffed, “don’t sweat it? do you even know how bad insomnia is?! it makes you tired... *yawn*... gives you poor concentration, mood swings, and increased stress or anxiety... it’s sooo bad. it can lead to health problems like heart disease, high blood pressure, and even accidents due to drowsiness...”

“oh... you’re making it sound like a big deal...” you laughed nervously, your hand gently caressing her back. "it is!” hanni insisted.

“we need to fix this.. chamomile tea, meditation, melatonin…” her voice trailed off as sleepiness tugged at her again. despite her best efforts to stay awake and worried for you, she was clearly still exhausted. all she could think about was making you chamomile tea in the morning or finding a meditation video on youtube to help you relax.

“you’re still so tired...” you tilted your head, observing her. “yes, but you’re even more tired than i am... so get in.” she sighed, letting go of your waist and scooting over to make room. “huh, what?”

“get in bed, dumbass,” she said, snuggling back under the blanket and patting the space next to her.

“uh... okay, let me just turn off the lamp...” you murmured, reaching over to turn off the light before climbing into bed beside her.

you groaned as you turned to the other side... it's been an hour now, and you still can't fall asleep. beside you, hanni was fast asleep again, clearly exhausted from her long day. you could hear the soft sounds of her breathing, occasionally mumbling something in her sleep and pulling you closer, snuggling against you.

“god... why the hell can't i sleep... i'm too tired to deal with this,” you sighed, rubbing your neck and opening your eyes. “i can't just lie here doing nothing... maybe i should get up and read a book in the living room, don’t want to wake my tired baby again...” you thought, carefully trying to get up. but as you moved, you realized hanni’s arm was still draped over you, holding you tight.

you blinked. “she's asleep... i’ll just move her hand aside... she's too sleepy to notice,” you thought as you slowly began to lift her arm off your shoulder. but you failed, accidentally jostling her awake.

“y/n-ah, what are you doing...” she murmured sleepily, her voice groggy with fatigue. you closed your eyes, silently cursing yourself for waking her up again. “uh, i need to pee...” you blurted out nervously, trying to come up with an excuse.

“huh... you've been to the bathroom like four times already... do you have diabetes too or something?” she muttered, slowly opening her eyes. “oh god, why did you give my baby all these problems...” she sighed, shaking her head.

you blinked in surprise. “no! i don't have diabetes! what the hell...” you exclaimed, and she chuckled softly. “then why do you keep running to the bathroom, huh?”

“okay, fine... i lied. i just... can’t sleep,” you admitted with a sigh, dropping your head back onto the pillow. “can’t sleep?” she whispered, pulling you closer. you nodded, feeling her warm breath on your neck. she sighed gently. “is there anything i can do to help you? do you want me to make you some chamomile tea, baby?” she offered, her voice filled with concern despite her own exhaustion.

“no, you should sleep,” you insisted, shaking your head. “but i can't sleep peacefully when you're struggling to sleep, baby. you're going to be exhausted tomorrow, and that's not good... just tell me if there's something i can do. i’m not going back to sleep if you don’t...” she said, softly caressing your cheek.

“i don’t know... but your voice calms me a lot... if you don’t mind... could you tell me a story?” you asked, snuggling closer to her. she hummed softly, her fingers gently brushing through your hair. “you want me to tell you a story... like a fairytale or something?” she asked quietly. you nodded against her shoulder.

“let me think of one, baby...” she whispered, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead as she continued to stroke your hair. “hmmm... i remember one that my grandma used to tell me when i was little...” she said, and you looked up at her, a small smile tugging at your lips.

“close your eyes and just listen, okay? don’t think about anything else, just listen. it’ll help you fall asleep...” she murmured, placing gentle kisses on each of your eyelids, making you feel even calmer.

“okay, baby. i'll just listen,” you mumbled, closing your eyes. she chuckled softly, pulling you even closer. “that’s my baby,” she whispered, her voice soothing as she began her story.

“once upon a time,” she began, her fingers gently threading through your hair, “there was a princess.”

hanni closed her eyes, letting her imagination bring the story to life as she spoke, her voice a soft, soothing hum that blended with the quiet of the night.

“this princess lived in a beautiful kingdom, where everything seemed perfect and peaceful. but despite all the beauty around her, the princess felt a deep unhappiness inside.”

“why was she unhappy?” you asked, curiosity getting the better of you.

“babe, you said you wouldn't talk,” hanni teased, pausing her hand in your hair for a moment before continuing. “but well, the princess was unhappy because, although she had everything she could ever wish for, she was lonely. she had a kingdom and all the luxuries one could imagine, but she had no one to truly share them with, no one who genuinely cared for her.”

“she had her parents, of course," hanni went on, her fingers resuming their gentle, calming motion through your hair. “but it wasn't the kind of connection she was yearning for.”

she paused, her voice her voice dropping to a softer, more intimate tone.

"then, one day, the princess met a knight..."

"the knight came into her life like a breath of fresh air..." hanni murmured, her voice soft and dreamlike. "he was unlike any other man in the kingdom.. he wasn't interested in her wealth or her title.. he treated her with kindness and respect.. not as a princess, but as a person.."

hanni smiled at the thought of the knight, her fingers tracing lightly along your jaw.

“the princess was captivated by this new person in her life...” she continued in a whisper, her touch tender and affectionate. “she found herself drawn to him in ways she couldn't explain.. maybe it was his courage, his loyalty, or just the way he saw her for who she truly was...”

“as time went on, the princess and the knight grew closer...” hanni said, her voice now a soft murmur, almost like a lullaby. “they spent time together, sharing their thoughts and dreams.. learning more about each other with every passing day...”

her hand moved gently down to rest on your chest, feeling the steady rhythm of your heartbeat.

"as they got to know each other, the princess realized she was falling in love with the knight.." hanni whispered, her hand drifting down to rest lightly on your stomach. "he was everything she had ever dreamed of and more.. and to her surprise and delight, she discovered that he felt the same way about her.."

"time passed, and their love only grew stronger.." hanni continued, her soft, melodic voice drawing you deeper into a state of calm and peace.

"they were blissfully happy, cherishing every moment they could spend together.." she murmured, her fingers gently tracing along your skin, soothing you further.

"but the princess' parents... they didn't approve of their love.. they had other plans for her.. they wanted her to marry someone of higher rank.. someone who could bring more power and wealth to the kingdom.."

"they forbade their relationship.." hanni said, her voice tinged with a note of sorrow. "they wanted the princess to marry a suitor who would benefit the kingdom politically, not a humble knight.."

"the knight and the princess were heartbroken.." hanni whispered, her hand stilling for a moment on your hip. "they tried to reason with her parents, but it was in vain.. her parents were determined to marry her off to someone else.."

"but the knight knew he couldn't just give up.." hanni continued, her voice firmer now, filled with quiet determination. "he didn't care about status or wealth.. he loved the princess, and he was resolved to find a way to be with her.."

“so he went to the king and boldly asked for the princess's hand in marriage.. the king was furious and refused, but seeing the knight's determination, he set a challenge.. if the knight could complete three impossible tasks, then he could marry the princess,” hanni explained.

as hanni continued the story, her voice calm and soothing, you began to feel drowsy.. her storytelling was comforting, her gentle caresses on your hair making your eyelids feel heavy.

"the knight, with the unicorn's horn in his possession, presented himself before the king, having completed all three tasks.." hanni murmured, her hand now tracing soft patterns on your arm. "seeing that the knight had succeeded, the king had no choice but to honor his promise and allow the knight to marry the princess.."

"and then they live happily ever after...." you mumbled sleepily, a small smile tugging at your lips.

hanni chuckled at your sleepy comment, her hand continuing to gently run through your hair.

"yes... it's a classic fairy tale.. the knight overcomes all obstacles, wins the princess's heart, and they live happily ever after.." she whispered, her voice carrying a hint of playful amusement.

“thank you... han... for the story and for everything... i love you... so much...” you sighed, feeling yourself drifting off, the world fading away.

“anytime, my love... good night.. sweet dreams, and remember to dream of me, okay?"

a/n: i really enjoyed writing this, and i hope it brought you some joy too. thanks so much for reading, and have a wonderful day or night! :)) (i need a hanni fr...)

[ceyanabbiolo]

CONTRACT // C.S [09]

Summary: Christopher Sturniolo, a 26-year-old billionaire CEO, agrees to a strategic marriage with Aurora Devereaux, the 21-year-old daughter of his rival, to save his company during a crisis. Raised in a cold, arrogant environment, Chris is used to control and detachment. Aurora, a final-year fashion student, is forced into the arrangement by her powerful father and struggles with the fear of losing herself. As the two navigate their unexpected marriage, they begin to confront emotional walls and develop a connection that challenges everything they thought they knew about love and trust. But with their families’ influence looming, will their bond be strong enough to survive—or will it fall apart?

warnings: argument, kissing, slightly suggestive

wc: 6474

Chapter 9: Your mine

The hotel room was shrouded in darkness, the only light coming from my laptop screen and the faint glow of Milan’s skyline outside the window. It was around 6 PM, and I was nearing the end of my third day here. The same routine had played out every single day: checking up on the businesses, making sure the factories were running smoothly, handling emails, meetings, and reports. The usual grind.

I could’ve gone back to Boston today, but I decided against it. Another two days of peace, at least.

The hum of a Celtics game played in the background, but my attention was elsewhere. My phone buzzed, and an unknown number flashed on the screen, followed by a single notification: one image.

I didn’t think much of it at first. Probably spam. But something in my gut twisted, and before I could talk myself out of it, I opened the message.

My blood ran cold.

It was a picture of my fiancee, sitting on a couch next to some fucker at a party. 

Too many questions were running through my head. 

Who the hell is that guy? Never seen him before, and he was way too close for my liking. What the hello was she doing at a party? When was this? Where the fuck was she now. Why was she even there? She hates parties.

I didn’t waste a second. I pressed the call button.

One ring. Two.

Then the call connected.

"Hello?" Her voice was dripping with sweetness, fake as hell.

"Who the fuck is this?" I snapped, my voice low and sharp, the anger already bubbling inside me.

She let out a laugh, slow and smug, like she knew exactly what she was doing. "Relax, Chris. It’s Hailee."

Of course, it was her. Of fucking course.

I clenched my jaw so hard, it hurt, trying to hold back the anger that threatened to spill over.

"You’ve got ten seconds to explain what the hell you want before I block your number," I growled, every word coated in venom.

She laughed again, unfazed. "I just thought you’d want to know what your sweet little fiancée has been up to while you’re off playing businessman. Didn’t realize she was still so... friendly with old flames."

My stomach turned, an unfamiliar protectiveness taking over. I leaned forward, gripping the edge of the table.

"You don’t know shit about her," I said, my voice low and lethal, each word dripping with warning.

"Maybe not," she purred. "But from what I remember... You don’t exactly like being made a fool of, Chris."

I scoffed, the anger inside me growing by the second. "Listen…" I let out a breath, trying to steady myself. "We hooked up a few times. That’s it. It was nothing more than a mutual arrangement. I made it clear to you, Hailee. It was purely beneficial, and you know that."

“I'm just looking out for you, Chris,” she said sweetly. 

I didn’t have the patience for this. I didn’t need her twisted words any longer. Without another thought, I ended the call.

I threw my phone onto the bed, frustration coursing through my veins like poison. My eyes darted to the clock — it was nearly 6 pm in Milan, meaning it was noon in Boston. Aurora should’ve been awake by now.

I didn’t waste any more time. I immediately dialed Ana, the housekeeper. The phone rang twice before she picked up.

"Hello, sir?" Ana answered with her usual calm voice.

"Ana, where’s Aurora?" I asked, my tone sharp, not bothering to hide my irritation.

"Oh, Mr. Sturniolo, she and her friend came in late last night, sir," Ana responded, her voice soft but respectful. "They’ve been sleeping since about 3 am, I believe."

I felt a wave of irritation wash over me. "So, they came back that late?" I pressed. "Was there any sign of her doing something... out of the ordinary before they went to bed?"

Ana hesitated for a moment before answering, "Not that I noticed, sir. They were both fine when they came in. I didn’t hear any disturbances."

I could feel my jaw tightening. This wasn’t sitting right with me. "And what about this morning? Did Aurora seem different at all?"

"She seemed... fine, sir," Ana said carefully. "I haven't spoken with her directly today, though."

I rubbed a hand over my face, trying to keep my cool. "Alright, Ana. Just... keep an eye out, please. Let me know if anything changes."

"Of course, sir. I'll let you know."

I hung up, still seething. Something didn’t add up. I had half a mind to fly back to Boston that instant, but I needed answers from her — real answers, not from some cryptic photo or Hailee’s taunting. I would wait until I saw her face-to-face. When I did, she’d be explaining everything. 

I paced the hotel room, each step making the tension in my chest feel worse. The anger was like a thick fog, clouding my mind and making it hard to focus. I hadn’t expected this. Not from her. Not from my fiancée.

The image of Aurora, sitting on the couch with some guy—someone I didn’t know—kept flashing in my mind. I didn’t recognize him, and it pissed me off even more. She looked too comfortable with him. She laughed. Her body language. It was too much.

I could feel the knot in my stomach tightening with each passing second. I didn’t know who the hell this guy was, and frankly, I didn’t care. What pissed me off was that she was there at that party, out with someone like that while I was stuck here, doing work that was technically already done. The meetings, the reports, everything—it was finished. But I wasn’t finished. Not with her.

I grabbed my phone and dialed Lila, my assistant, barely giving it a second thought. The phone rang twice, and then her voice came through, calm and professional as always.

"Yes, Mr. Sturniolo?"

“Cancel everything,” I snapped. “I’m done here. Get me on a flight back to Boston, ASAP. I want to be home by midnight.”

There was a brief pause on the other end. “Sir, but your last meeting isn't until—”

“I don’t care about the damn meeting. I’m done,” I cut her off, my frustration building. “Get me a flight. Midnight. No excuses.”

I could practically hear her sigh on the other end of the line, but she didn’t argue. “Understood. I’ll have the arrangements made.”

“Good,” I said, my voice sharp. I ended the call and shoved the phone into my pocket.

I wasn’t wasting any more time here. Work was done. There was no reason for me to stay in Milan and brood over things.

I stormed around the room, packing my things quickly, as if the sooner I got on the plane, the sooner I could figure this all out. I didn’t even know what I was walking back home, but I had to get there. I couldn’t just let this go.

I couldn’t let her be out there, in a situation like that, with some random guy I didn’t know. Whatever the hell was going on, I was going to find out. And she was going to answer for it.

I headed for the elevator, the anger simmering inside me, knowing that when I got back to Boston, I was going to have one hell of a conversation with Aurora.

It didn’t matter if Aurora and I weren't in love, but it sure as hell mattered how we both acted if this engagement was to seem real. 

An hour went by in a buzz, and by 7:30 PM, I was seated in my jet and taking off. 

I calmed myself by letting myself believe Aurora had a rational explanation for all this, and praying that the photo of her at the party didn't get sent to anyone.

The jet touched down just after 1:00 AM Boston time.

By the time I made it through the airport’s private exit and into the black SUV waiting for me, my blood was at a full simmer. Every wasted minute between Milan and Boston had given me more time to overthink, more time to get pissed off.

The drive home was a blur. I barely registered the empty streets or the cool October air seeping through the cracked window. All I could think about was Aurora — and the fact that the woman I was supposed to marry was out at some fucking party, sitting next to some random guy, while I was halfway across the world.

The gates opened slower than I had patience for, but I forced myself to stay calm. I parked, grabbed my bag, and walked up the driveway. Every step felt heavier.

As soon as I pushed the door open, a soft glow spilled from the living room.

I stilled.

Someone was awake.

Quietly, I set my bag down in the foyer, shrugging off my jacket. My steps were soundless as I moved toward the light.

And then I saw her.

Aurora was curled up on the couch, barefoot, wearing one of those oversized sweaters she loved. A thick book was open in her lap, her hair falling around her face as she turned a page, completely unaware of me standing there.

Something sharp twisted in my chest.

She looked so fucking innocent sitting there — like she hadn’t done a damn thing wrong.

I clenched my jaw, forcing the emotion down. I couldn't afford to let her looks cloud the situation.

"Aurora," I said, my voice cutting through the silence.

She jumped, her head snapping up. Her eyes widened when she saw me — surprise flickering across her face, then confusion.

"Chris?" she said, setting the book down. "What— you’re back?"

I nodded once, stepping further into the room.

"Yeah," I said coldly. "Trip’s over."

I watched her closely — the way she shifted, the way her hands nervously tugged at the sleeve of her sweater.

"You didn't tell me you were coming back early," she said, her voice softer now, guarded.

"Didn't feel like there was a point," I replied, my voice sharp. "Seems like you were keeping yourself plenty busy while I was gone."

Her mouth parted slightly, confusion flashing in her eyes.

"Chris, what are you talking about?"

I crossed my arms, the anger barely held back now.

"You want to explain why I got sent a picture of you all cozy next to some guy at a party?"

Her face paled.

I didn’t move. I didn’t blink. I just waited, and the longer she stayed silent, the harder it was to pretend I wasn’t already pissed off beyond belief.

Her brows pulled together, genuine confusion flashing across her face.

"What guy?" she asked, her voice small but laced with honest bewilderment.

I didn’t move. My arms stayed crossed, my stare locked on her. "Don’t play dumb, Aurora."

She blinked, like she was scrambling to piece things together. "I... I was at the party with Jen ," she said slowly, searching my face. "We danced, we ate— I don't—"

Then something clicked. Her face shifted.

"Wait... are you talking about Mason?" she asked, like the idea was ridiculous.

Mason.

My jaw ticked. The name meant nothing to me, but just hearing another man's name come out of her mouth made something snap inside me.

I took a step forward, my voice low and sharp. "Who the fuck is Mason?"

Aurora’s eyes widened slightly, taken back by the bite in my tone. She held her hands up like she was trying to calm me down.

"Nobody," she rushed out. "He’s no one, Chris. Just some guy I used to know from high school. He sat next to me for like two minutes — that’s it."

"Used to know?" I repeated, my voice rising. "And he just shows up at some party you're at while I'm out of the fucking country? And you're sitting there with him, like it’s a damn reunion?"

She flinched.

"It wasn’t like that," she insisted, her voice trembling with urgency. "I didn’t even want to talk to him. He just showed up and started talking. I barely said anything back."

I let out a humorless laugh, running a hand roughly through my hair, trying — failing — to calm the rage boiling under my skin.

"You think that makes it better?" I snapped. "You think it looks better that you’re just sitting there letting random assholes get cozy with you while my back’s turned?"

Tears welled up in her eyes, but she blinked them away fast, standing her ground.

"I wasn’t being cozy with him," she said fiercely. "I didn’t want him there. I didn’t even want to be there! Jen convinced me to go, and I was sitting alone when he came over. I didn't invite him!"

I stared at her, breathing heavily, Fuck…I didn’t want to be the reason she gets a panic attack. My fists were clenched at my sides. I wanted to believe her. God, I wanted to believe her so bad.

But that fucking photo kept flashing in my mind — her, looking too pretty, sitting there while some guy sat way too damn close.

"You shouldn’t have been there to begin with," I bit out. "You shouldn’t even have given anyone the chance to get near you."

Aurora’s lips parted like she wanted to argue, but she stopped herself, swallowing hard instead. Her voice came out quieter. "I just wanted one normal night."

Normal. She still didn’t get it.

"You’re not just some rich girl anymore, Aurora," I said, my voice ice-cold, every word deliberate. "You’re mine, whether you like it or not. It doesn’t matter what you think or feel. To the world, you're already my fucking wife. And I’m expected to act like your husband, to handle you, to control everything about this — because that’s what they all see.”

The words hung in the air, thick and heavy.

"You’re a grown woman, Aurora," I said, my voice laced with frustration, the tension still heavy in the air. "And I really fucking wish your father hadn’t put you in this position. But here we are." I paced, my hand running through my hair, the anger simmering beneath my skin. "I hate that it comes off like I’m trying to control your life, but the reality is, we have to accept this shit, whether we want to or not. This is our life now. And you don’t get to just ignore that."

Her face crumpled slightly, like she didn’t know whether to be angry or heartbroken.

But I didn’t back down.

Not this time.

Aurora took a shaky breath, stepping toward me like she could somehow make me understand if she just got close enough.

"I would never," she said, her voice breaking. "Chris, I would never do something like that to jeopardize this. Especially not with him. I hate Mason."

I didn’t move.

"I don’t care how it looked," she rushed out, desperate. "I wasn’t sitting there enjoying it. The second he came over, I froze up because I didn’t even know how to react."

That caught my attention. My eyes narrowed slightly. "What the fuck are you talking about?"

She swallowed, her throat bobbing. Her hands fidgeted at her sides.

"I... I don’t want to get into details," she stammered, her voice wavering as she tried to backpedal. "Everything that has to do with him happened a long time ago."

"Tell me," I demanded, my tone cold and unyielding. The weight of the words hung heavy in the room, and I wasn’t giving her an inch until I had the answers I wanted. “I’m trying to understand”. 

I looked at the hesitance on her face, before she seemed to finally crack. 

"He’s not some old friend," she muttered. "He was cruel to me. He humiliated me... made my life hell back then. Seeing him again just brought it all back. I didn’t know what to say. I didn't even want to be near him."

Her voice cracked, and for the first time tonight, my anger faltered — just slightly.

But I still couldn’t erase the image from my mind.

"You could've left," I said coldly. "You could've gotten up and walked away."

"I know," she said quickly, her eyes pleading. "I know that. I just— I was stunned. I wasn’t thinking straight. And then Jen came back and I went to her. I didn’t stay with him."

She blinked rapidly, like she was trying to keep it together in front of me.

"You have to believe me, Chris," she whispered. "I don’t even look at anyone else."

For a moment, it was just the sound of our breathing filling the space between us. Her eyes were glassy with unshed tears, her fists clenching so tight her knuckles were white.

I stayed silent, my chest heaving, the war inside me tearing me up — anger, protectiveness, and something deeper I wasn’t ready to name yet.

I exhaled sharply, dragging a hand down my face.

"Why?" I asked, my voice low but sharp. "Why was he cruel to you?"

Aurora flinched like I’d struck her. She wrapped her arms around herself, suddenly looking smaller under the weight of my stare.

She hesitated, her teeth worrying at her bottom lip. "I... back in high school," she said slowly, her voice tight, "I liked him. Stupid, I know. He pretended to like me back. Asked me out in front of everyone. Told me to meet him at some restaurant."

She looked down at the floor, her fingers digging into the sleeves of her sweatshirt.

"I waited for an hour," she whispered. "He never showed. And then some girls from school—" she choked out a bitter laugh, "they showed up instead. Poured coffee all over me. Laughed in my face. The next day at school, Mason told everyone it was a joke. That no one would ever actually want me."

Silence clamped down between us, heavy and suffocating.

I felt like something inside me cracked.

The image of her — younger, humiliated, alone — made my hands clenched into fists at my sides.

I stared at her, feeling rage burn hotter in my veins than anything else tonight.

"It wasn’t just that day, there were several other things that happened with him, and you think I would ever even look at him that way?" she said, her voice thick with emotion, her eyes glistening. "I don’t care about him anymore, but it weighs on me, Chris, I hate him. I hate everything he did to me."

My jaw locked so tight it hurt. I didn't know whether I wanted to go find this Mason prick and beat the shit out of him, or pull Aurora into my arms and promise her no one would ever humiliate her again.

Maybe both, but I stayed where I was, my body rigid, my mind racing.

I didn’t have emotions. I didn’t feel comfortable. But hearing her say all that — seeing the way she shrank under the weight of it — made something deep and ugly claw up inside me.

"You should’ve told me," I muttered, my voice coming out rougher than I intended.

She shook her head quickly. "I didn’t think it mattered anymore. It was years ago. I didn’t... I didn’t want to seem weak."

Weak. Gosh, she had no idea.

There wasn’t a single thing about her that was weak.

I stared at her for a long beat, my heart hammering against my ribs, my anger still simmering just below the surface — not at her, but at the entire fucking situation. At that prick Mason. At Hailee. At myself for not being there tonight, for leaving her vulnerable to people who didn’t deserve to even breathe the same air as her.

"You’re not weak," I said, my voice low and certain. "Don’t ever say that shit again."

Aurora’s eyes widened a little, surprised by my tone. She opened her mouth like she wanted to say something, but then closed it again.

I took a breath, forcing some of the rage back down. I needed to get a grip. This wasn’t the time to explode.

"You’re not going to any more parties without me," I said firmly, stepping closer. "I don’t give a shit if it was innocent. I’m not letting some asshole even think he can get close to you again."

Her lips parted slightly, clearly taken aback by the sharpness in my voice.

Maybe it wasn’t just the tone that threw her off. Maybe it was the intensity—the raw possessiveness that I couldn’t hide. I was done pretending it wasn’t there.

She gathered herself quickly, her posture stiffening, as if trying to protect herself from whatever was swirling between us. “So what? You cut your trip short to come and talk to me about this party?” she asked, her voice tinged with disbelief.

I shot her a glance and got closer.

“Yes,” I towered over her. “Yes, did.I may have not taken this seriously at the start, but one thing I take seriously is business, and you are very much my business, Aurora”. 

I watched her face redden and her pulse quicken.

“You still didn’t need to cut the trip short,” she said, her voice softer now. “I was doing fine.”

I scoffed, not bothering to hide the sarcasm. “Yeah, clearly.”

She let out a long breath, her frustration palpable. “Who sent you the photo anyway?”

I hesitated for a moment, weighing whether I should tell her the truth. But what was the point in lying? I couldn't hold this back forever.

“Just someone I used to mess around with,” I muttered, hoping that would be enough.

Her brow furrowed as she processed the information. Her eyes flickered to mine, confusion crossing her face, before something seemed to click. “Hailee?”

The name hit me like a punch to the gut.

I froze, my pulse spiking. “You know her?” I asked, disbelief creeping into my voice.

Aurora’s gaze softened, her lips pressing together in a thin line. 

“I met her yesterday at the party,” she said, her voice steady, though a touch of something... bitter lingered in her tone. “She was... around. We talked for a bit.”

I raised my eyebrow, “what did she say to you?” 

I watched as she looked away, clearly uncomfortable, but trying to maintain her composure. “I met her yesterday at the party,” she said, her voice steady but tinged with something darker, something... bitter. “She was... around. We talked for a bit.”

I raised an eyebrow, my curiosity piqued. “What did she say to you?”

Aurora hesitated for a moment, before looking back at me. “She just said you two used to be close.”

The unease in her voice was undeniable, and I couldn’t help but let a sly smile tug at the corners of my lips. I stayed quiet though, letting her finish.

She shifted, clearly trying to process everything. “I’m just curious,” she started, her eyes narrowing a bit. “You mentioned you don’t do relationships, but she said you guys had something going on.”

I stepped closer, closing the space between us. “I don’t do relationships,” I said, my voice low and firm.

Aurora’s brow furrowed slightly as she processed my words. She raised an eyebrow. “And your... relationship with Hailee?”

I paused, taking in the look on her face. There was something almost fragile in her expression, like she wasn’t sure where this conversation would lead. I watched her closely as I continued.

“It was purely physical,” I said, my voice measured, deliberate.

Aurora blinked, clearly taken aback. She looked genuinely surprised—though, there was a hint of confusion in her eyes. “Oh...Oh, I see. Like... sleeping together?”

I nodded, watching her carefully. I could feel the tension shift in her. She was uneasy now, the energy between us was different than before. She was trying to process what I’d said, but something in her was rattled.

“Why does that bother you?” I smirked, sensing her discomfort, but enjoying the way her guard seemed to be slipping.

Aurora quickly shook her head, her voice quick and defensive. “No—no, I’m just asking.” She laughed nervously, but I could see the flush creeping up her neck.

I hummed in amusement as I stepped even closer, my hand coming to rest gently on the back of her neck. I tilted her chin up, forcing her to look at me. 

“You’re blushing, ma,” I said softly, a teasing smile playing on my lips as I closed the remaining distance between us.

Her breath hitched, her eyes locking onto mine. There was a flicker of something in her gaze—something uncertain, but maybe something more. Something she wasn’t ready to admit, but I could feel it in the air between us.

“Were you guys really close?” she asked again, her voice a little tighter this time. “I mean, outside of… well, the bedroom, I guess.”

A teasing grin tugged at my lips. “Are you jealous, Aurora? Your cheeks are pink.”

She quickly looked away, her eyes flickering with something she was desperately trying to hide.

“Why would I be jealous?” she snapped, but the uncertainty in her voice gave her away.

I leaned in closer, dropping my voice to a near whisper. “I don’t know. Maybe because you care more than you’re willing to admit.”

I stepped in until her back pressed flush against the wall, her breathing shallow. The air between us practically crackled.

“You don’t have to pretend with me,” I said, letting my gaze fall deliberately to her lips before meeting her eyes again. “You think about it, don’t you?”

Her chest rose and fell a little quicker, her eyes darting to the side.

“Think about what?” she asked, voice soft — almost too soft.

“The kiss,” I muttered, my voice rough against her ear. “The way your body reacted to me. You think about it when you’re alone, don’t you?”

She swallowed hard, her fingers trembling slightly as she clutched the edge of a nearby shelf. I caught the moment she faltered, the moment her defenses slipped — even if she tried to hide it by shooting me a glare.

“You’re not fooling me,” I said, my mouth brushing her ear, the words a low threat and a promise all at once.

She didn’t answer — she didn’t have to. I could feel it — the way her body leaned toward me without even meaning to.

I slid my hand into her hair, gripping it just tight enough to pull a gasp from her lips.

"You can pretend all you want," I murmured against her mouth, "but your body’s betraying you, ma."

The last shred of my self-control snapped when I caught the look in her eyes — wide, vulnerable, and begging without a single word.

Without another second of hesitation, I crushed my mouth to hers, kissing her fiercely, claiming her like I'd been dying to. She gasped into me, and I took full advantage, deepening the kiss, pressing her harder against the wall until there wasn’t an inch of space between us.

My hand gripped her waist, possessive, grounding her to me as she trembled under my touch.

I didn’t stop there — I let my mouth trail sloppily down her jaw to her neck, sucking and nipping at the sensitive skin. I heard her breath hitch, then a soft, desperate moan escape her.

"Chris…" she whispered, breathless, the sound of my name almost wrecking me.

My hand slid up, cupping the soft curve of her breast through the thin fabric. My mouth tugged at the V neckline of her sweater, my lips dangerously close to exposing more. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from her chestline, the temptation gnawing at the last of my sanity.

I should stop. I knew it. But the way she submitted to my touch — the smell of her skin, like fresh roses — drove me insane.

Her small hand gripped my arm, grounding herself, but not pulling away.

I pulled back just slightly, searching her face. Her lips were kiss-swollen, her hair a beautiful mess, and her eyes — wide, vulnerable, uncertain — locked with mine.

I kept her pinned lightly against the wall, our bodies pressed together. “Did that feel like business to you, ma?” I asked roughly, my thumb brushing her waist.

The blush crept up her neck again, warm and unfiltered. She shook her head shyly, her voice caught somewhere in her throat.

I exhaled sharply, trying to reel myself back.

Reluctantly, I stepped away — but kept a hand on her waist, not ready to let her go completely. I dragged my eyes down the faint marks I'd left along her collarbone and smiled, 

“Go to bed,” I said, my voice low, a bit softer now. “It’s really late.”

She blinked up at me, still dazed, then nodded, the faintest smile tugging at the corners of her lips.

“Yeah… it is,” she whispered, picking up the book she had earlier, clutching it tightly to her chest as she made her way down the hall.

But just before she disappeared, I called out.

“Aurora.”

She paused, turning back, cheeks flushed, lips parted slightly.

“Yeah?”

I held her gaze, serious now, needing her to understand.

“To answer your question,” I said slowly, “just know... I’d never cut work short for her, or for anyone of that matter. So no, we weren’t close.”

I caught the realization flicker in her eyes — then turned and disappeared down the hallway into my room, needing a cold shower and my own hand to deal with the ache between my legs she left behind.

The next morning, I woke up later than usual — closer to eleven. I hadn’t gone into the office; as far as everyone knew, I was still in Milan.

Dragging myself out of bed, I expected to find Aurora in the kitchen, maybe eating a bagel or picking at something. Instead, I walked into the dining room to see both my brothers shoveling down the food my chefs had laid out.

I scrubbed a hand over my face. “What the fuck are you two doing in my house?”

“Wow, real warm welcome,” Nick said around a mouthful of pancakes.

Matt snorted into his drink, trying not to laugh.

I rolled my eyes and grabbed a can of Pepsi from the fridge.

“Heard you cut your trip short,” Matt said, taking a slow sip of apple juice. “Why?”

“Finished early,” I said, keeping my voice casual.

Nick raised an eyebrow. “Finished early? Since when do you not milk a whole week out of those trips?”

“Didn’t feel like it this time,” I muttered, popping the tab on my drink. 

Nick exchanged a look with Matt as I cracked the Pepsi open.

Matt leaned back in his chair, glancing toward the hallway. “Where’s your girl?”

I narrowed my eyes. “Mind your business.”

Nick smirked around a mouthful of pancakes. “Touchy.”

Matt grinned. “Didn’t say anything. Just asking where she’s at.”

“She’s sleeping,” I said shortly, popping the tab on my drink. “Or reading. I don’t know. Why do you care?”

Nick shrugged innocently. “Just making conversation, man. You don’t gotta bite our heads off.”

Matt snorted into his juice. “Yeah, God forbid we ask about Sleeping Beauty.” 

I shot him a warning look, but before I could tell him to shut the fuck up, Nick leaned forward on his elbows, studying me way too closely.

“So you finished early in Milan?” he said, dragging out the words. “Didn’t feel like hanging around? Since when?”

I took a long sip of Pepsi, not answering right away.

Nick smirked like he already knew the answer. Matt raised his eyebrows, exchanging another look with him.

"You," Matt said slowly, grinning, "cut a trip short for a girl?"

I slammed the Pepsi can down on the counter a little harder than necessary.

"Drop it."

Nick held his hands up in mock surrender, but the smug look never left his face. “Hey, man. Whatever you say.”

Before I could tell them both to get the hell out, soft footsteps sounded from down the hall.

Soft footsteps padded down the hallway.

Aurora.

Wearing a loose pair of light grey pajama set. Her hair was slightly damp, pushed back from her face like she’d just washed it, her skin fresh and glowing from her skincare.

As soon as she stepped into the dining room, her eyes landed on Matt and Nick — both frozen mid-bite, staring at her like they'd seen a ghost.

Aurora blinked, clearly caught off guard by their presence. She shifted her weight awkwardly, her brows furrowing in confusion.

“Uh...hi, morning,” she said hesitantly, giving them a small, awkward wave with the hand not holding her mug.

Matt just blinked at her.

Nick nearly dropped his fork.

I bit back a smirk, watching the whole thing unfold.

She looked so damn cute like this — sleep still clinging to her, skin soft and dewy, voice a little raspy from just waking up. She didn’t even have to try, and somehow it made it even harder not to stare.

Aurora shuffled toward the coffee pot, her cheeks flushing slightly as she turned her back on them, clearly trying to pretend like this wasn’t awkward as hell. 

Nick leaned toward Matt and stage-whispered, "Is it just me or did Chris just smile?"

Matt answered just as quietly. “Real big. Like some Disney prince shit.”

I shot them both a death glare. Matt pretended to cough. Nick suddenly found the butter on his pancakes very interesting.

Turning back to Aurora, I kept my voice low, just for her. “You eat yet, ma?”

She blinked, a little startled by the nickname in front of my brothers, but shook her head.

Nick elbowed Matt under the table. “Ma?” he mouthed dramatically.

She glanced over her shoulder at me, flushing a little, and shook her head.

I pushed out a chair. “Sit.”

She obeyed without a word, sliding into the seat beside mine, her knee brushing against mine under the table.

Nick watched the whole thing like it was the most entertaining thing he’d ever seen in his life. Matt, for once, had enough sense not to say anything.

But even I could see it written all over their faces: They were never gonna let me live this down, and for the first time, I didn’t give a fuck.

“So Aurora”, Matt started. “how are you?”.

I shot Matt a quick glance, narrowing my eyes slightly. What the hell was he getting at with his line of questioning?

Aurora met Matt's gaze, offering a soft smile. "I'm fine," she said, her voice gentle but steady. "How about you?"

"Good, good," Matt replied, nodding thoughtfully. "How are you finding everything here so far?"

Aurora’s smile never faltered. "Everything’s been okay," she said, her tone polite, as if carefully measuring her words.

Nick then chimed in, breaking the quiet tension. "You're a design student, right?"

Aurora nodded. "Yeah. I am."

A strange silence hung in the air for a moment, like everyone was waiting for something more, but no one quite knew what. The awkwardness was palpable, and I couldn’t help but find the whole situation oddly amusing. I leaned back in my chair, a smirk tugging at the corners of my lips, watching the way they were trying to make small talk, as if they weren’t fully sure of what to say to her.

"I have to get going," Aurora said, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. "I have some things to do. Enjoy."

She stood up from the table, her movements graceful but just a little too quick. I could tell she felt out of place—she didn’t like being the center of attention, especially under my brothers’ watchful eyes.

She glanced at me, a brief, almost uncertain look. I gave her a small nod, letting her know it was fine. Without another word, she disappeared down the hallway, and a few seconds later, I heard the soft click of her bedroom door shutting.

The second she was gone, Nick leaned forward, dropping his fork with a loud clatter against his plate. "Bro," he said, smirking. "She’s cute."

Matt snorted, reaching for another pancake. "Way out of your league, too."

I shot them both a dry look. "Don’t start."

Matt held up his hands innocently. "Just saying. She’s...different. Not what I expected when you said you were getting married."

Nick nodded, mouth full. "Yeah, like, she’s actually nice. Thought you'd end up with some stuck-up heiress."

I took a long drink of my Pepsi, ignoring the way they both stared at me like they were waiting for a reaction.

"Arranged or not," Matt said, nudging Nick, "you lucked out, man."

I stayed silent, my jaw tight.

Matt leaned back in his chair, eyeing me. "You like her," he said bluntly, like it wasn’t even a question.

Nick laughed under his breath. "Yeah, you definitely do. Never seen you look at anyone like that."

"Cut the shit," I muttered, tossing my empty can of Pepsi into the trash. "It’s not like that."

Matt raised an eyebrow. “Sure it’s not. You were basically eye-fucking her the entire time she was sitting here.”

I shot him a glare. "Watch your mouth," I said, my voice low, protective without even meaning to be. "I was just making sure she was comfortable. You idiots were making her uncomfortable."

Nick held his hands up, grinning. "Hey, we're just saying. It's new seeing you like this. Mr. 'No Relationships' acting like a fucking husband already."

I leaned back against the counter, arms crossed over my chest. "I’m being respectful."

Matt smirked. "Respectful? Bro, you looked like you were two seconds away from dragging her back to your room."

I gave him a sharp look. "Matt. Don’t talk about her like that."

Matt just rolled his eyes, clearly not taking me seriously. "Didn’t say anything about her," he said lazily, picking up his fork and poking at his pancakes again. "For an arranged thing, it’s not bad," he added with a shrug.

Nick nodded. "She's sweet. She didn’t even roast us for showing up uninvited."

"She’s used to it," I said without thinking. Then realizing how that sounded, I added, "High society bullshit. She’s been around it her whole life."

Nick raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, but still. She's... real. Not fake like the other rich girls."

"Don’t call her a rich girl," I snapped before I could stop myself.

Both of them froze for a second—then broke into matching grins.

Matt whistled low. "Man’s in deep already."

I shook my head, pushing off the counter. "You two need to get out of my house."

Nick laughed. "Not until you admit you like her."

"Not happening," I said, walking past them. "And wipe those stupid looks off your faces before I throw you out myself."

READ ALL RELEASED CHAPTERS HERE!

[a/n: ya'll i think I should start with the mega juicy stuff soon. Hopefully new chapter soon! like & reblog. mwahh] – ceyana

[yc-idkwhy]

Rent a Room

Chapter 2:- Drums

-----•Charlie Spring•-----

Charlie is bored. Really bored. Nick had some errands or something to run today so the two hadn't even been able to text or anything. He would've played the drums like usual but to be honest he's starting to get bored of his own drum kit. Maybe he needs a new one. So here he was scrolling through his phone trying to find the perfect one for him. And suddenly, he did.

He went down the stairs to talk to his mum, praying to whoever was listening that she'd say yes. Well, she did! But there was still a loophole.

"I don't know Charlie. It's quite expensive isn't it?"

"Yes but pleasee. I feel like I really need a new one right now."

She looked at him with the "how do I say no?" face. Just as she was about to open her mouth Charlie interrupted. "What if I pay for it myself?" A short silence stretched out. "Well I suppose that would be fin-" "THANK YOU."

Charlie ran back up to his room and started googling ideas on how he could get the money.

"What are you doing," said Tori who came out of litterally nowhere.

"Oh my god Tori, stop sneaking up on me!"

And with that he started explaining his idea to her. Well, he didn't quite HAVE any yet.

"What if you rented out your room for a bit?"

"What?"

"Yeah, I suppose you could sleep in mine till then, just for a short time or something."

Charlie should've been hesitant about the idea, but for some reason, he wasn't. It would be fine right? The biggest shock however was not how quickly Charlie agreed to this, it was how easily his parents also said yes. Well there's that.

The next day when Nick got free. Charlie invited him over in the afternoon.

"Guess what?" Charlie said, already setting up his room for rent while also talking to Nick. Without giving Nick a chance to answer, Charlie started telling him the idea. And by the time he was done, the room was gone up. "Done! It's up!"

"Just like that?" Asked Nick

"Mhm."

"Well, uh good luck, guess there's nothing to say"

And then they spent the whole day together hoping it wouldn't take very long for someone to contact them.

-----------

A week later when Nick was at Charlie's house..... Again. A notification suddenly buzzed from the laptop across the room. Upon checking it, Charlie almost screamed. "Someone's interested in the rent thing!" Nick rushed over by his boyfriend's side. "Who is it" "Some guy named Will Solace... He's our age!" "Why is a guy our age trying to rent a room for a short while" "Well let's find out!"

Charlie messaged the boy and asked him to video chat. Of course he had to first know who's going to be living in his space for a bit.

He called. The other one picked up.

"Is this Will Solace?"

"Yep!"

[key201303]

Pairing: Jaehyeong x Reader Word count: 1525 words Warnings: None! Just a bunch of comfort Plot: You’ve been feeling really overwhelmed lately because of your bosses. They’ve been asking you to overwork for the past few weeks and even though Jaehyeong asked you to set the limits and tell them you couldn’t overwork anymore in order to stay more healthy, you couldn’t say no to your bosses. Today when you got back home, Jaehyeong was home waiting for you to join him in a delicious dinner. But as soon as you run to his arms and tears start streaming down your face uncontrollably, he cannot focus on the food anymore. A/N: I'm officially coming back! Lot's of thing have been happening that kept me away from writing but fortunately I can say I will be able to slowly go back to writing. Thank you to everyone that is still here and that will read and support my stories from now on, doesn't matter if you're old school or new to this blog ❤️ Also I've noticed there are not much content with The rose and specially with Jaehyeong so here I am, black roses you're all welcome to my blog let's share our love for these guys ❤️ Taglist -> since it's been so long, let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!

It’s been a tough day. Not only because your coworker keeps giving you more and more of her work because your bosses have been asking you to stay at work for longer or even extra days. At this point, with this tight schedule you haven’t been able to see Jaehyeong. You even almost forgot how his voice sounded like in real life or how his eyes shined everytime you appeared in his sight. And that made you feel even worse about the whole situation. He has told you plenty of times to set your limits so they cannot exploit you just because you do your work and other’s. But you’re not the type of person to say “no”. It’s like that word doesn’t exist in your vocabulary. Now unfortunately you have to pay the consequences of overworking. “Y/N, I’ll leave some documents I couldn’t finish on your desk, I’m going home.” The voice of your coworker broke the peaceful sound the coffee machine made while preparing your fourth coffee of the day. All you did was check the wall clock that hungged above your heads and nodded, not even looking at her. Once your coffee was ready, you had to go back to work. As soon as you entered your office, your phone screen lit up with a familiar notification sound. “I’m home! Hope you come soon, I’ll make some good food, remember our promise?” The message said. Only then you remember the little promise you made the night before. Jaehyeong was going to finish practice earlier than usual and promised you he would make you your favorite food as long as you finished earlier than usual as well. You felt overwhelmed for a moment. You wanted more than anything else that quality time with the man that owned your heart. And you only had to say “no”.

After a few more minutes of conversation a familiar voice knocks you out of your thoughts once again. “Can you stay a few more hours? Jiwoo’s work need to be finished today.” Your boss said. To be honest, you were tired. Tired of always wanting to go home but not being able to do so because Jiwoo didn’t finish her work. “I have plans.” You said without even thinking what you just said. “But…” Your boss tried to answer but you cut him off. “No buts. It’s Jiwoo’s work, not mine.” You said packing your stuff without looking up. “If it has to be finished today, she should have stayed like I do everyday.” You added getting off your seat and walking towards the door that separated your office from the rest of the building. “I’ll see you on Monday.” You said before leaving the place as your boss and other coworkers looked at you with a surprised gaze. Finally you could feel a huge weight getting off your shoulders.

The walk back home was cold. Hands and nose were freezing tho your ears were warm thanks to the headphones Jaehyeong gifted you a few weeks ago. And not only your ears were getting warm. Your heart was also finally starting to feel warm as you listened to “She’s in the rain”. It never fails to make you feel better whenever you listen to it. (Take some time to enjoy the song before you continue reading)

You finally got home and the strong smell of fresh homemade food filled your body with the feeling of home. And even more feelings appeared as soon as Jaehyeong’s smiling figure appeared leaning on the kitchen door frame. His smile was as bright as light, as sweet as chocolate, as beautiful as a rose and as warm as the sunshine. You couldn’t stop admiring his figure as you walked towards him, hoping to land between his arms and rest your head in the warmth of his chest, near his heart where you belong. His smile grew even wider when his arms wrapped around your small figure. Unfortunately that smile didn’t last long. You could feel the tears falling down your cheeks, getting dried by Jaehyeong’s soft pull over. You tried to stop the tears but you couldn’t. Finally all the stress you’ve been trying to hide was flowing out your body through those tears. “You don’t have to hide your emotions anymore, not in front of me.” Jaehyeong said, tightening his hold, making you hide your face back in the warmth of his heart. “Let it all out… You’ve held it for long enough and I’m here to listen to you.” He added with a low voice, stroking your hair trying to calm you down.

“I have an idea.” He said, a smile appearing back in his lips when you started to feel a bit better. “Let’s go.” He added, grabbing your hand and his guitar. You looked at him confused. “But the dinner…” You tried to say, pointing at the dining room table, full of food. “Food can wait, your health can’t”. He said taking you to the rooftop of your little apartment.

The sky looked beautiful when not much city lights ruined the light stars and the moon had. “How can you know me so well?” You asked Jaehyeong, a small smile threatening to appear in your lips as you still tried to dry some tears that were left running down your cheeks. “Because before dating you, I had to deal with your annoying ass as a best friend.” Jaehyeong joked as he removed the last tear from your cheek with a soft touch, gaining the laugh that was threatening to come out from your mouth. 

“Come on, I’ll let you choose the song for today.” He said once you both got warm and comfy in the small tent you had built for when you needed a stargazing session like the one you were about to start. You immediately suggested ‘she’s in the rain’ and as soon as you started to pronounce the title of the song Jaehyeong cut you off. “You always choose the same one! Can’t you just change for once?” He said playfully laughing. “If you don’t want me to choose then don’t ask me to do so!” You said laughing as well. After some discussion on which song he should play, finally you both agreed on him playing “See-saw”.

His voice was soft, low, not really putting much effort but still taking you to heaven, words flowing through his mouth so effortlessly which made you feel even more cozy. The moonlight hit the perfect spots to make his face features stand out. The silverish light hit perfectly his blond locks, creating an elegant silver hair illusion. You couldn’t focus on the sky. The galaxy his dark eyes held was more than enough that you couldn’t have more attention for something else apart from him. Only then you notice it was not the homemade food the one giving you the feeling of home. Actually it was the thought of him being there for you the one that made you feel home, because everywhere and anywhere would feel home as long as you were together. (Take some time to enjoy the song before you continue reading)

Once he finished singing, his slender fingers kept playing the guitar a bit more as you laid your head on his shoulder. The lack of light, his scent, the soft music his guitar was making mixed with the soft vibrations you felt because of him quietly humming to random melodies was lulling you into a deep sleep. A huge smile appeared on his lips when he noticed your almost asleep figure. “You look so beautiful like this. I’m so lucky you decided to say yes when I asked you out in such a shabby way.” He whispered, pretending to think you were fast asleep and couldn’t hear him. You couldn’t help smiling at his confession which made him act all surprised and disappointed because you heard what he said which made you laugh even more. “This is the girl I missed.” He said. His eyes held so much admiration and love whenever he looked at you. It’s always been that way. You guess Dojoon was right every time he said Jaehyeong would always look at you in a very different way. And it was true. You were the only person living on this earth and probably this galaxy that could see that look in his eyes. Full of love and so fond of you. “Promise you won’t overwork anymore.” He said once you both finished your little stargazing date. “We promised to have a happy life together, you can’t get sick already.” He added as you both entered the kitchen, a small tint of sadness in his expression. Seeing him like this broke your heart. “I promise, from now on no more extra hours.” You said with a small smile, offering him your pinky to seal the deal. But he preferred leaning a bit to close the distance between both of you and place a soft yet full of the love he had for you kiss on your cherry lips. “Let’s go, we have to hit up the food if we want to have dinner.” He said with a playful smirk, leaving you wanting more, just like he always loves to do.

[r0ses4ndlilies]

My love for her.

Dabi x you

Ok so like I wrote this in sixth grade and found it recently and i thought it was ok so far but like… be nice bffs :’)

(Also haven’t seen any of mha after the time the LOV kidnapped bakugo)

It was a regular day for me, just like any other. As I put my hair up in a ponytail and took off my makeup, I heard my phone ding. It was my mother, who worried about me constantly. I picked up my phone and opened the notification.

The message read: "Y/n I just wanted to tell you about the new app i have on my phone it's called Day2Day! It's super fun you should get it! Xx

Love mommy!"

I smiled softly at the message and responded with, "Okay mom, I'll check it out. Love ya!"

I went back to my nightly routine and finished taking off the remainder of my makeup and then started putting on moisturizer. My heart began to race as my phone dinged due to another notification on my phone. It was my mother asking about something for her knitting and my mouth curved upwards. I knew she had texted the wrong person, so I ignored it.

As soon as I stopped staring at my phone screen, the familiar ding came through, once again. Another text from my mom. Once again, I ignored it because I assumed she was probably saying sorry for sending the previous text to me in error.

Then I got another text, once again from my mom. When I glanced at the phone screen, I saw she was still texting about knitting. Just to clarify...I know nothing about knitting or yarn. I was about to tell her just that when my thumb accidentally scrolled up and I remembered to download the app she'd mentioned earlier.

Excitement ran through me and I didn't want to waste another minute, so I downloaded it. But when I tried to open it, it wouldn't work. Then I thought I would try to delete it and redownload it, once again. But it still didn't work. I was out of options, so I just let it be and finished my text telling my mom to stop sending me silly knitting messages.

I sat my phone on the black shiny counter, that was polished perfectly, and looked at myself in the mirror. I let out a long, deep sigh, and then grabbed my phone. As I walked down the long dark and empty hallway of my apartment. A shiver went down my spine, as I finally made it to my room and firmly closed my door. I walked to my bed and quickly plugged in my phone before turning off the lights. It took no time at all before I finally fell asleep.

I woke up the next day, completely forgetting about the app not opening last night. I went on with my normal day. The only non-normal thing was a new guy who was moving into the empty apartment next to mine. He had black hair and purple patches on his skin. I smiled politely at the guy and he smiled back. He looked like someone who was friendly.

By the end of my day, around 10:30 p.m., I felt dead on my feet. I'd had an extra long day. As I turned the key in the lock of my front door, I noticed my new neighbor open his door. At the exact same time.

All day today, I'd felt as if I'd been watched. I'd had that prickly feeling on the back of my neck. I'd looked for whoever watched me and I swore I'd seen him. My new neighbor. Had he been around me all day long? It was confusing that he'd arrived home at the same time as me, but then I do tend to overthink things. So I made a decision to stop thinking about it. I entered my apartment, locked my door from the inside, and checked to make sure it was secure. I was safe.

As I made myself dinner, I received a few notifications on my phone. My mom was too tired to even type letters. Only emojis appeared. I was too tired to even respond. I barely made it to the sink to put clean my plate, before walking into my room. The only thoughts in my head were of sleep. I face-planted on my bed and drifted off.

And then I got another notification. I barely opened my eyes to ensure it wasn't an emergency, when another one came through. It was from the Day2Day app. I forgot about sleep and got excited, because maybe it was finally working! The notification read: "Follow these instructions exactly, unless..."

Since I was curious by nature, I couldn't ignore that dreaded message. I opened it and read the instructions. Shivers ran through me when I opened the app and saw that it was exactly like a messenger app. The text I got was confusing and couldn't be real.

1. Tomorrow you will go to Broadway Street, then enter the shop "MIYO"

2. You will then go to the bathroom and press this code on the door: 1977

3. After you input the code, you will then walk through the door, and there will be a man in all black waiting for you.

4. Don't talk to this man as he will only become an obstacle, if you address him in any way.

5. After you pass the man dressed in black, you will see another man sitting on the throne. You will give him your phone and you will leave. If you talk to anyone while on this mission, you will not be able to go back to your regular life and pretend none of this happened.

I then replied with a question anyone would ask: How do I know this is true?

I then got a reply right away with pictures of me looking at my phone. They were from my bedroom, wearing the same pajamas I was wearing, at this moment.

My stomach twisted with nervousness and I jumped up to close my blinds, then double-checked the locks on all the windows. As I walked back to my room, I was reminded of my new neighbor that lived next door. But it would be too obvious if it were him. There I go overthinking things again.

As my head hit the pillow, for the second time that night, I fell asleep anticipating what would come tomorrow.

I woke up slowly the next day, and it took me a minute to remember the weird message I'd received before bed.

I quickly got dressed and immediately grabbed my phone, before opening my door. I dashed outside, locking the door behind me. I made my way to the store 'MIYO'. I ran and ran until I got there and then asked if I could use the bathroom and the man at the desk said, "of course." He handed me a slip of paper that had the bathroom code on it. As I took the slip and walked over to the bathroom, I double checked the code on the app. It matched the code on the slip of paper! I pressed 1977, the numbers felt cold on my fingertips.

I felt nervous because I didn't know what would happen. I slowly opened the door, not sure what to expect. I walked through the door cautiously and followed the instructions from the night before.

I soon then saw the man dressed in black. I then walked past him. I felt the air swoosh as he turned and began to follow me. I freaked out and sped up my steps to the man on the throne. I ran so quickly, I stumbled and had to right myself. I handed him my phone and he promptly accepted it.

I turned around and ran for the exit as I saw the light from the door that let me in starting to get further and further away. I ran faster and faster and then a green light flashed before my eyes. I screamed so loudly, I awoke from the noise.

I picked up my phone on the bedside table and saw the time. 

7:30 a.m.

Had I dreamed the whole thing? Had it simply been a nightmare? Was it really that new neighbor?

My body began to shake and I wondered if I'd ever know the truth, because it had felt so real. 

END?

[ace-and-ink]

the other day

(i almost called it yesterday)

i wrote a poem after class

called it a warm-up

called it cards

i did everything my professor said i shouldn’t

took advice from my writing professor

who said

“here are a list of writing rules

go break every single one of them”

i’ll take this one slower

because my theatre class got out early

and i got to eat this time

the soda fountain was busted

the cherry coke wasn’t that

we read of those who wrote

with inspiration of art

i’ll never write like

the way orphan made me feel

i hear i song

and i cry

and i steal half their lines

want me to do it again?

i’ll list what i’m listening to

“take it from me

i’m not looking for anybody

i’m sick of car rides

you lied while we lay back to side”

my friend (?????)

[for our audio listeners

if you’re ever out there

there’s a series of question marks

because i don’t know

what i want her to be]

said goodbye to me as she left

and i couldn’t catch her

i had to fix my desk

i sat with a pretty girl today

she reminds me of my old friend

the one i’ve written about before

the one i’ve compared myself to with a dying moth

i wish she’d look at me like she did

she smiled at the end

before fumbling her papers

and i almost relapsed on the spot

i saw a pretty girl in my building

she lives a floor above me

i think about how my elevator sometimes

doesn’t say what floor it was going to

and i always have to double check

i wonder what system it uses

or if it just didn’t want to say it

if it skipped a line on accident

if it just had too much going on at once

i don’t think i can call this a poem

what if i call myself a moth again?

i use dogs too often

my hair looked decent when

i left the bathroom this morning

i saw my reflection when the poem wouldn’t load

and i think i almost lost three years of progress

that girl was from here

in this city i’m familiar yet foreign to

i reread my own poem

and i’ve suddenly never used a metaphor in my life

i talked about rocks

and i wrote about moths

i’ll only be a hit online

- by online i mean i’ll get clicks

from my one online friend -

my roommate always keeps the door open

the same friend from before had her room rekeyed

i don’t know how to make this a poem

my professor would never take this

i keep getting snapchat notifications

of my old teammates from home

celebrating each other’s birthdays

i almost don’t even go home for mine

so should i use a simile?

should i add a metaphor?

i can’t say i agree with holly in that song right now

i can’t drive

but they’ve lied while we laid together

and they’re still going on about getting high

let’s see

what can i say here?

i feel like a fish in a fishbowl

- there’s my vehicle -

i can see everything i want

but i can’t get to any of it

- there’s my tenor -

my writing class made me feel

like i at least have a chance

so far poetry

has made me feel like i’ve been fooling myself

i can’t call this poetry

i can’t say i’m good at all

which isn’t the problem

it’s that i don’t feel like i can be

i’m laying in bed

the brain killer

and now i don’t want to go to geology

which isn’t for another hour

i’ll call this a warm-up

like i do

being the fraud artist i am

saying every piece i don’t like

was a practice sketch

so i don’t have to claim it

hey if i add a period here

can i call this all enjambment?

ah shit nevermind

there it goes

i’ll end it on this

anyway.

— warm-up: tenor

[inorganicorgan]

Here you go @randosfandos and @baxieblur-turnip since you wanted it so much I'm ENSURING you see it the second you check your notifs

SNOWBIRD: CHAPTER II

I shower, scrubbing my sweaty body. The breeze from the roof of the Justice Building air-dried me slightly, but it feels nice to finally be showering. My hair isn't especially dirty, and it's irritating trying to dry it, so I make a conscious effort to keep it away from the water. The soap smell is soothing. I can't quite place it.

I scrub my face. I get soap in my eyes. I no longer feel happy about the soap. I wash the soap off of me and out of my eyes as I think about today. It's the day of the Reaping, meaning I need to be prepared, just like every year, to potentially be sent to die.

Or watch someone I care about get sent to die... Yumi would tell me that she loves me in a situation like this. She did every year before she passed away.

Yumi. My older sister. Never did well as a Career. Yumi was gentle, empathetic. A bleeding heart, even. She couldn't bear to hurt anyone. If someone hit her, she'd ask them why instead of hitting back.

I step out of the shower, wrapping my towel around my torso. I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Yumi and I didn't look similar to each other. Yumi's nose was softer and rounder, her eyes kinder. Yumi's hair was a dusty black, much lighter than my charred colour. Yumi was cheerful and radiated warmth and welcoming.

I can't stop seeing her instead of me when I look in a mirror, though. I knew Yumi's face as well as I know Sera's. I know that while her eyes were warmer, they were still as narrow and catlike as mine are. They still looked just as harsh in the wrong lighting.

I know that while Yumi's default expression was a soft smile, her anger still looked the same as mine. Anger was so rare, so jarring, that I couldn't help but memorise it.

I know that while I rarely smile at anyone but Sera, Yumi had dimples and creases identical to mine. I can't stand to smile at my reflection anymore. It's impossible not to see Yumi.

Sometimes I wonder if Sera sees Yumi in my smile as well. I wonder if she loves her exactly the same as I do. I wonder if she blames me exactly the same as I do.

I wonder if Sera sees Yumi in her own smile also. Yumi's narrow face didn't especially resemble Sera's, but Sera's eyes and Yumi's were similar browns, although Sera's eyes practically glow from the inside. Sera's smile has the same comforting quality as Yumi's.

Yumi was just as good with people as Sera, just as patient as Sera. Just as kind. Just as sweet. Just as trusting.

I wanted to be like her when I was younger. I know now that Yumi's thinking never did anything good for her. She needed to be vicious. Capable of taking a life. She wasn't, not when it mattered most.

I'll give her that. Yumi passed on her own terms. Yumi knew what she wanted. Yumi stuck with it. With her love for humanity. She's braver than me in that sense.

She was so much like Sera, it's almost like they're the same person. Perhaps that was the reason I got so close with Sera after Yumi died.

Or maybe the reason was because Sera loved Yumi, too, and felt her loss as much as I did.

There's a lump in my throat. My vision blurs slightly. I wipe my eyes, clearing my throat. I splash cold water on my face. Today, of all days, is a bad time to think of Yumi.

I violently scrub my face again, this time with my towel to dry it. I look up into the mirror by accident. My fringe is completely soaked. My eyes are reddened. There's a brief flash of Yumi's face across my vision, angry and full of hate.

It's gone as quick as it arrived. I hurriedly turn away from the mirror. I dry myself, keeping the mirror behind me the whole time.

After I'm no longer sticky, I pick up my clothes from the floor and start to get changed. A nice button-up and trousers. The shirt is grey, and the trousers are white, both slightly worn as they originally belonged to... I glance at the mirror again.

Yumi glares at me. She sniffs and wipes her nose as she finishes putting the clothes she wore on the day of the Reaping on. I leave the bathroom, and my sister, behind.

Sera is sitting on my bed, toying with her hands anxiously. Her eyes are trained on my clock, watching every second quietly thunk by. The sound of the clock is almost muffled by her uneven breathing and the occasional thump of her heel when her bouncing leg makes contact with the floor.

She smiles up at me when she notices me in the doorway, stopping her jittering. Her hands continue to shake slightly, as does her leg. Her eyes dart to what I'm wearing, then back up to my face again.

Her smile vanishes, if only for a moment. It's back so quickly, it's almost like she didn't react at all. She remembers, then. Well, how could she have forgotten?

Yumi was just as much Sera's sister as she was mine. If Sera wasn't at my house to talk to me, she was here to talk to Yumi. If Yumi was out, chances were that she'd be doing something with Sera.

Sera screamed louder than I did. Sera's grief was known. Sera gained sympathy.

Such an apathetic child...

No reaction whatsoever..?

Her sister...

How awful...

A monster, that's for sure...

I block out the whispers of District Four as I sit down next to Sera. As she always does when we are close like this, she leans into me. I put my arm around her and let her rest her head in the crook of my neck. She sighs deeply, her breathing calming down.

I know how deeply Sera craves the comfort of touch. I have always been averse. In general, if someone is making contact with my skin, it's because they're trying to hit me until I don't get back up.

But I also know how good it feels to be near to Sera. For our hands to be locked together, for our shoulders to be touching, for her breath to be on my neck.

Sera is gently gripping the hand attached to the arm I'm holding her with. She carefully traces lines along my palm with her thumbs, following the creases. Sera likes repetitive things like that.

There are a million things I could say to Sera. But just like every year, I don't need to say any of them. Now is not a time for words. Words come later. Words come after. And some words come never.

Words used to express relief. Words used to state gratitude. It's considered awful luck to say things like that. Especially when the people selected only have a one-in-twenty-four chance of coming home.

No matter what, there'll always be at least one grieving family. Sera's family has always been so lucky. Seth, Sera's brother, is only about a year older than I am. He's too old for the Reaping now. He's never been pulled.

Sera hasn't been pulled before, either. I hope she stays that way. I don't know what I'd do if she didn't. I've never thought about it, either. If I think about something like that, it starts getting hard to breathe.

I can't really think about it. My thoughts just won't go there, and if I force them to, they don't stay for long. I don't like it. I stay away from things like that. They belong at the very back of my mind with everything else.

I don't have to worry about that. Sera won't be pulled. I won't be pulled again. We're going to be okay.

Sera's switched from massaging my palm to fiddling with the hem of Yumi's shirt. She's started her gnawing of her lower lip, the already damaged skin bleeding slightly.

Her eyes flick to my clock again. I once again hear her breathing grow uneven as some degree of panic sets in. I squeeze her a little tighter, pull her a little closer.

Sera tears her eyes from the clock. Sera has a death grip on Yumi's shirt. I gently pry her fingers off, squeezing her hand when Yumi's shirt is free. Sera's tenderising of her lip ceases. Sera sighs and surrenders as we fall over together on my bed.

Sera adjusts herself to be resting her head on my chest, her feet hanging off the edge of my bed. Sera only ever wears one pair of shoes. A clunky pair of worn leather boots that fall off her feet at every possible occasion. They slide off, one actually hitting the floor while the other clings for dear life onto her ankle.

I hope my heartbeat doesn't speed up too much. It'll probably make Sera's head bounce if it does. I let my head fall back onto my pillow, my neck already hurting from my observation of Sera's boots.

Sera starts to toy with my hair, running it through her hands. She's always loved to compliment how shiny it is, how smooth I keep it. She always goes on to say how she wished she could have her hair as tidy and clean and nice-to-the-touch as mine.

I never said anything to her. Perhaps I should have. I would have liked to tell her that her tousled mess was charming. That it framed her face. That it brought out her smile.

I would not have liked to tell her that it made her look like Yumi, who wore her unkempt, unruly disaster in almost the exact same way. I don't think Sera remembers, but her hair was kept neat once, too.

Back when Yumi was still alive and Sera's mother was still around. Sera saw her family a lot more when she was younger, her brother not yet graduated, and her father not totally responsible for their income.

She had to brush her hair every couple of hours and apply some sort of gel to it, but it stayed in place. The kind of cutesy style that made little girls an object of affection for all the little boys.

She was maybe around seven when she properly met Yumi. She had come over to my house and accidentally walked into Yumi's room, briefly forgetting which was mine.

Yumi was fourteen at the time. She had been so sweet with Sera. By the time I realised that Sera had gotten lost somewhere, she was already playing some sort of complex game that involved knots with Yumi.

I tried to join. I wasn't good with knots then. I'm better now, but I still struggle with complicated ones. Sera has always been so talented with her hands. She's always had such nimble fingers.

I finally tied a knot. Yumi couldn't untie it. Neither of our parents could untie it. Sera couldn't untie it. That memory has resulted in this sweet mental image. Of Yumi sitting on the floor of her room, her little sisters next to her, puzzling over a knot tied by the least competent one.

That mutual lack of understanding for how I created such a thing was a building block for their relationship. I don't quite remember what became of the knot. I believe I gave it to Sera.

Sera has always admired Yumi. Sera saw the way Yumi wore her hair and decided it was the most amazing thing she had ever seen. She mimicked Yumi in other, smaller ways that she still does to this day.

A little flick of the hand here, a tonal shift there. Sera saw how Yumi played with her hair when nervous and started doing it herself. She does it automatically now, pinching and rolling her blonde locks between her thumb and forefinger.

I absently run my hands through Sera's curls. My fingers snag on knots, and I hear Sera wince as I work them out. I groan.

"Sera, did you brush your hair this morning?"

Sera doesn't respond. She's pretending to be asleep. I know from experience that Sera takes at least ten minutes to fall asleep; it hasn't even been three. I sit up, Sera sliding down my chest, then sitting up as well.

Sera won't meet my eyes. I sigh and rub her face.

"You need to take care of yourself, Sera," I say, disappointed but not surprised. Sera tends to neglect things like this. Only small things, and she doesn't really resist, but she doesn't do them if she's not prompted.

Brushing her hair is a bad one. She almost never does it. I have to do it for her most of the time. Once, I didn't see her for four days because of an especially busy week for both of us.

It took me ten minutes to clean the accumulated grime off of her body and at least an hour to work the knots out of her hair. I scolded her the entire time for her forgetfulness. I wasn't surprised that her family didn't remind her, considering that her father and Seth were out fishing for a good three days. I assume Sera avoided them on day four.

"I know, Rumes. I'm sorry," she mumbles. "It's just... I didn't have the time this morning." Sera's excuse is flimsy. I stand up and walk over to my dresser, locating my hairbrush. I walk back over to my bed and sit down. Sera obediently turns to show me the back of her head.

I start to slowly run the brush through her tangled mop.

"I think we both know that isn't true, Sera." I'm not trying to be accusing. But I'm not trying to be nice.

Sera winces, both at the fact that I've caught her and because of the knot the brush has just caught on. It rips out a little of her hair as I work it through.

"I... It's..." Sera sighs. "It's a little hard, you get it?"

I don't. I really don't get it. Self-care has never given me any trouble, but I don't dare mention this to Sera. Telling Sera she's strange for not washing her face won't help her. Reminding her that she needs to do it will.

I've never been completely certain if her poor care of herself was because of her faulty memory or something else. I'd love to blame it on her memory, but Sera's general... erraticness is probably to blame.

She'll start tasks and forget about them entirely, she'll lose track of time, she'll forget to drink water... It's not really a surprise that she forgets important things anymore. She remembers to eat, at least. That removes some level of worry I have for her.

"Yes," I lie. This seems to reassure Sera. A part of her hair bounces back into shape as I finish pulling the brush through. I start again at my next chosen section, running my hands through what I've brushed. For a long time, there is no sound but our breathing and the soft, gentle noise of the brush through Sera's hair.

"You remembered to wash it. That's good," I say aloud, recalling its pleasant smell and softness when I hugged her earlier. I should have praised her then.

"Thank you," says Sera, a little uncertain. I regret speaking almost immediately.

Sera sighs and fidgets. Her other boot fell off at some point.

"You look like her, you know," she says quietly. I force the brush so hard through her hair it slightly yanks her head back. It was an accident. I hope.

"Sorry." There's a long silence.

"You really do, though. You look like Yumi," Sera finishes.

"Can we not talk about this, Sera?" I ask. Sera huffs.

"You can't just pretend she doesn't exist because she isn't around anymore," says Sera, more certain this time.

"I'm not," I respond levelly.

"Then w-w-why do you keep acting like that?"

"Like what?"

"Like you never cared." I yank the brush suspended in Sera's hair.

"Hey, look at that. It's stuck," I say, letting go of it. It remains in Sera's hair. She reaches around to the back of her head and pulls it free, handing it back to me.

"Stop doing that, Rumi," she says, sounding like she's dealing with a small child.

"Doing what?" I ask, starting to brush Sera's hair again. Sera sighs.

"You know exactly w-w-what I'm talking about, Rumes. Don't change subjects to avoid things," she says. I don't avoid things. I'm not avoiding anything.

I voice this. Sera sighs again.

"You do, though, Rumes. You are. It's okay if you miss her. I do, too," says Sera. I finish brushing her hair and throw my hairbrush at my back wall. It thunks onto my dresser again.

"Can we just not, Sera?" Sera turns around to face me.

"I think w-w-we should, though," she says. I don't want to listen to her anymore. "I think w-w-we need to talk about her."

"We don't. There's nothing more we could say," I mutter.

"Rumi, you get so... distant. Around this time of year, you just avoid talking about her entirely."

"Have you ever thought that maybe I don't want to talk about a dead woman?" I snap.

"Yeah. Lots," Sera responds softly. "But you talk about her." I stiffen.

"You like to mention her from time to time, anyw-w-way," says Sera. "You joke about how Yumi w-w-would do this, Yumi w-w-would like that, blah blah blah."

I turn away from Sera, no longer enjoying this conversation.

"Rumes, you talk about her like she's just... aw-w-way," says Sera thoughtfully. "And I think that's good, I do, because -"

"Stop." Sera sighs softly.

"Rumes, can w-w-we just talk -"

"Stop."

"Rumi, it's not healthy to bottle these things up. If you don't w-w-want to talk now, that's fine, but -"

"I don't want to talk about it at all," I interject. "I don't need to, I don't want to, I won't. It's that simple." Sera needs to drop it. I'm fine. I'm acting normal. I always behave like this.

"She died for a good reason, okay? And I think w-w-we -"

"A good reason? You think it was good?" I interrupt. Sera looks startled.

"Rumes, that's not w-w-what I -"

"Oh? It's not w-w-w-w-what you m-m-m-eant?!" I shout, imitating her stammer.

"Rumi..." Sera's definitely upset. I've crossed a line. I don't care. Maybe she deserves it, just this once.

"Why don't we all just celebrate, huh?! 'Cause Yumi's dead! That's GREAT!"

"Rumi, just stop..." Sera mumbles.

"Sorry, you'll have to speak up! I can't hear you under all those extra letters!" I find the wound and tear it open.

"Rumi, w-w-w-why are you -"

"Oh, get to the point! How hard is it to talk?!" Sera flinches. She pinches the crooked part of her nose. She always does that when she gets self-conscious.

"Rumi, please just calm down," says Sera, voice gaining a pleading quality. I ignore this.

"Calm down?! You want me to calm down?!"

Sera's eyes start to water.

"Oh, don't you start crying AGAIN! You're so bloody emotional all the time!"

"You don't even have emotions!" she snaps back. Sera gets up off my bed.

"Maybe the reason you act like you don't care is because you really don't!" My sheets are pulled taught as I clench my hands. Sera angrily kicks her foot into one of her boots, looking for the other one. "Maybe you didn't cry at her funeral because you didn't love her!"

"Of course I loved her! She was my sister!" I shout, following Sera as I kick her boot from my bed into my wall. She snatches it off the floor and slams her foot into it.

"She w-w-was my sister, too!" Sera shoots back.

"No! No, she wasn't! Yumi was never your sister! No matter how close you think you were, you were never her sister!"

That's hurt her. She stops for a moment, tears threatening to start rolling down her cheeks.

"I loved her. Doesn't that mean something?" For just a moment, I feel a sliver of regret. It vanishes.

"Doesn't mean anything. You never meant anything to her," I snarl. This is untrue. Yumi did truly care about Sera. But now I just want to hurt her. Sera mumbles something.

"Huh? Speak up!" I demand. "You wanna say something? Say it to my face!"

"At least I'm not the reason she's dead," she says. There's utter silence.

"What?" Sera is completely crying now.

"At least," she repeats. "I'm not," she continues. "The reason she's dead."

"So you're saying it's my fault, then?"

Silence.

"N- no, I... No, I'm sorry. I got angry."

"No, I get it."

"Rumes, please, I didn't mean it. It w-w-wasn't your fault."

"It was, though. It's my fault. And it's always going to be my fault."

"It's not! I got angry! I didn't mean it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I've never been that angry before. I'm sorry. If it's any-w-w-one's fault, it's mine. I could've -"

"Just stop, Sera."

"Rumes..."

"You can go now, Sera."

"But -"

"You can go now, Sera. Go home. Say hi to Seth for me."

Sera nods. She tries to hug me. I gently push her away.

"I'm sorry, Rumes."

"So am I." Sera opens the door.

Sera hesitates, standing in the doorway.

"Yumi w-w-would have said you look nice."

The door closes.

[daxwritesstories]

The Neighborhood - Melting in the heat

EXT. Central bicycle path - Afternoon

It is a hot sunny day. The air is mostly still, aside from an occasional slight breeze.

Rae is sitting on a large rock in the grass next to the bicycle path. She's typing on a Blackberry phone. She stops for a moment to rub the back of her neck. We hear her internal monologue.

RAE (internally): It's so hot out today. It feels like the sun is right above me. I already know I'm gonna have a sunburn later.

We can see, for a moment, over Rae's shoulder. The person she's texting is saved as "Ophelia". Judging by their messages, they seem to be making plans to go to a restaurant later in the week. As Rae types her response, her phone buzzes. She pauses her texting to check what the other notification is. We see that it's a text from someone named "Zara". It says, "did we have homework?"

RAE (internally): Zara?

Seeing Zara's name makes Rae freeze up for a moment. Then, she furrows her brow thoughtfully.

RAE (internally): Homework...

Before Rae can even open the message, she's distracted by a couple of girls walking toward her. They both look slightly younger than Rae and are holding ice cream cones.

RILEY: Yo!

RAE: Yo.

SHERRI: We got ice cream without you, loser.

RILEY: I was gonna get you one, but I thought it would be melted by the time we got here.

RAE: That's okay. I'm not really hungry.

RILEY: I wasn't either. But it's so hot out.

Rae nods.

A cat suddenly walks out onto the path. Sherri gasps when she sees it.

SHERRI: Kitty!

Sherri hurries over to the cat, crouching down to pet it.

RILEY: Dad said he'll buy us dinner at the pool if we meet him there.

RAE: Really? Sick!

Rae climbs down from the rock.

SHERRI: I thought you guys weren't hungry.

RAE: I always have room for pool food.

RILEY: I want popcorn.

SHERRI: Me too. And pizza!

Rae laughs and tucks her phone into the back pocket of her shorts.

SHERRI: I'm glad I wore my swimsuit today.

RILEY: This is why I always wear mine under my clothes.

RAE: I'll just swim in my clothes.

Sherri laughs at Rae.

RILEY: Let's go! He's probably already there.

Rae shrugs.

RAE: Not my fault you guys took so long.

The girls all head down the path, led by Riley.

EXT. Public pool - Afternoon

Rae and Riley's dad is standing in front of one of the many food stalls built into the wall next to the pool. He's reading the overhead menu.

Rae, Riley, and Sherri all run up the stairs to the deck, their shoes loudly thumping against the wood.

RAE: Dad!

Dad looks over at the girls as they run up to him.

DAD: No bikes today?

SHERRI: It's too hot for that.

RAE: Way too hot.

DAD: Perfect day for the pool, then. Bring your trunks?

Sherri looks at Rae and Riley, confused.

RILEY: He means "swimsuit".

SHERRI: Oh! I have mine!

RILEY: Me too.

SHERRI: Rae says she's gonna swim in her clothes.

DAD: Rae! The house was on your way here. You could've changed.

Rae shrugs.

RAE: I don't feel like it. What are we getting to eat?

DAD: I don't know. What do you girls feel like having?

SHERRI: Pizza!

RILEY: I don't want pizza.

RAE: I'll have pizza.

DAD: What do you want, Riley?

RILEY: I want popcorn.

DAD: Okay. We'll get Rae and Sherri their pizza, and then we'll get your popcorn.

RILEY: 'Kay.

EXT. Public pool - Evening

It's a bit later in the day. Riley is sitting on the edge of the pool with her legs in the water. Sherri and Rae are swimming around in front of her. Sherri keeps diving under the water, while Rae opts to just tread water.

RAE (internally): Even the water is warm from the heat. I hope the sun goes down soon. My head's gonna melt at this rate.

RILEY: Is Ophelia coming over again soon?

RAE: I'm trying to get her to go to the plaza to get food with me sometime.

RILEY: Does she wanna come ride bikes with us tomorrow?

RAE: She doesn't have a bike.

SHERRI: Why not?

RAE: I don't know.

SHERRI: Maybe she doesn't know how to ride one.

RILEY: We could teach her!

Rae laughs.

RAE: I can ask.

Riley nods.

RILEY: Cool.

Sherri splashes Rae, who puts her arms up and laughs.

RILEY: Aren't you gonna be cold walking home?

RAE: No. It's, like, a thousand degrees.

SHERRI: But you're always cold.

RAE: Not when it's a thousand degrees. My clothes will be dry before we even get back.

Sherri and Riley both laugh. Sherri then dives back under the water.

[poisonprettyblog]

7 de maio de 204

15h47

today I'm writing from my secretary. this is my last day at the office (I think). I don't have birds chirping, or the wind rustling the leaves. I only listen to footsteps, the machine. In front of me I have my three computers. wait.

im back. all the computers are black. they're turned off. I have lights around me and they're yellow whiteish (a clear yellow?) I need to take my cough syrup. I haven't taken it yet. my mind is eating me up. I either got the evil eye or im just stressed. or maybe tired. either way, i took a pill to calm me down.

today I had a long chat with the co-director of the museum. it was very interesting to observe her mannerisms and her speaking. once she realized I could speak english, she became quite confortable, which I was happy with (or at least she looked more confortable) regardless, I kept thinking of how I could contribute to the conversation, instead of worrying about the content of it. I mean, I was worried about the content5 of the conversation, since I needed it to participate in it. I guess we're on different wave-lengths: i just want to be hired and she has a lot on her hands i guess.

I want to talk about me. differently. today I got a message, wait. actually, it was yesterday. after talking for some time and frequently, the person I was talking to, left me on read. did he ghost me? I can say he did lol. but that was my biggest motive to strat journaling and creating good habits. I guess now that he finally answered I can go back to old me. I didn't make him wait on purpose. as a matter of fact, I was too busy trying to create good habits that I ended up having no time to answer him. so evidently, I took a whole 24 hours to do it. but that's how long I had to wait for his answer too. in a spam of 3-4 days (?) he "ghosted" me twice. now that im writing about it i wonder: why do I care so much? honestly i don't think I care that much, especially after writing this. it might be the reason they say to journal after all. to let go of your worries and clean your head.

im listening to this man on the phone speaking to his daughter. he works in the office next to mine and clearly they need to fix these walls bcus let me tell you they are not sound proof. anyways. I have always had this idea of the museum being grandious, a monumental place where I had rarely gone to, let alone have an opportunity to work at. so I always thought that I shouldn't take it for granted. but as I hear this man speak, and I wonder how many years he's been working here for, I think why hasn't his daughter asked to get a place here (to work)? he certainly would have given her a spot. but then I put myself in his position. in her position: maybe she doesn't like doing this, working in a museum; maybe he doesn't like taking advantage of the corrupt system (although he seems like he does) (my arm hurts). whatever. I guess the museum isn't worthy of the pedestal I put it in. everything is a perfect fantasy until I get to know it. maybe because real life isn't that - and when it is it quickly becomes normal (I get used to it).

sorry, i forgot what I was saying my colleague talked to me.

I am feeling quite tired today. I might fall asleep on the train. And once I get home. But I can't forget to exercise. I have to take the syrup. I keep looking at my phone with the excuse of looking at the time. but in reality Im checking my notifications. I turned them on again because of -. I could be nonchalant but for what reason? I am interested in him, but when I don't feel that it is reciprocated I close off and act mean. people feel differently. I have to accept it. if it is not meant to be, the world won't end. take it slow. maybe I should turn off my notifications again. it won't do me no good to get anxious over messages.

17h50

i've got more to say. i leave on a random tuesday, a random day. everything random. my heart is beating. things are rushing. i am stuck in the bubble again. suddenly i want to leave and be gone. I want to love and to succeed and to embrace and to smile. I want to drink, to?

[ireceived-p8250000]

April 7-13, 2013

Sunday:

Studied for upcoming exams again. Did all home works and chores before going to my shift.

I went to my shift. A lot of people so I couldn't concentrate. I made a video again.

I went home at 11.

Monday:

No classes but I have to gather with my groupmates for the editing. I'm still waiting for Mansoor's entry and he saidhi he's in the area now.

We had quiz in Psych Stats.

Tomorrow is Holiday.

Tuesday:

It's holiday so, I checked on my herbs. Mansoor sent me the photos and his entry and I edited and integrated them into mine. I gave it to Fiona for finalization. She invited me to her house. So afternoon ai went to Trancoville. She was gracious.

We talked especially like travelling to Hong Kong which she did and that's why she absent for a week. I didn't notice her. She asked about me and Mansoor. She commented that he's a bit tight assed. We just laughed. She's a good company. She edited almost everything. Finished and went to my shift at the bookstore.

Wednesday:

We have lectures. Also I received a notification that I earn a spot for Dean's list. The awarding us on Friday.

When I arrived home, I told my mom immediately. One parent is only needed anyway.

Thursday:

We did our group dynamics activity.

It was successful.

Then AnaPhy on lymbic system and marathon lecture. More homework.

Friday: Another lecture and finalizing about the K-12 program.

And integration of theories.

Then OsychStats.

But we were excused for the dean list awarding. My mommy came with Dad. I have medal and certificate. Mansoor wasnt around. He congratulated me though.

I met him though after I they left. We said we'll celebrate on Sunday.

Saturday:

Group dynamics for SocOr. We will have talent show next week.

Long Quiz again for AnaPhy. Totally brain drain.

The bookshop. We haven't interacted much with Mansoor these days. He said he's busy ,too.

Then shift again. I was so sleepy.

April 7 to April 13, 2013:

Sunday:

I studied for upcoming exams and completed all my homework and chores before going to my shift. The bookstore was busy, making it hard to concentrate. I made another video and went home at 11.

Monday:

No classes today, but I had to meet with my groupmates for editing. I was waiting for Mansoor's entry; he said he was in the area. We had a quiz in Psych Stats. Tomorrow is a holiday.

Tuesday:

It's a holiday, so I checked on my herbs. Mansoor sent me his photos and entry, which I edited and integrated into mine. I gave it to Fiona for finalization. She invited me to her house, so in the afternoon, I went to Trancoville. She was gracious, and we talked, especially about her trip to Hong Kong, which explained her week-long absence. I hadn't noticed she was gone. She asked about Mansoor and me, commenting that he seemed a bit uptight. We just laughed. Fiona is good company and edited almost everything. We finished, and I went to my shift at the bookstore.

Wednesday:

We had lectures today. I received a notification that I earned a spot on the Dean's List. The awarding ceremony is on Friday. When I got home, I told my mom immediately. Only one parent is needed for the ceremony.

Thursday:

We did our group dynamics activity, which was successful. In AnaPhy, we covered the limbic system with a marathon lecture and received more homework.

Friday:

Another lecture and finalizing our project on the K-12 program, integrating various theories, followed by Psych Stats. We were excused for the Dean's List awarding. My mom and dad came with me. I received a medal and certificate. Mansoor wasn’t there, but he congratulated me later. We decided to celebrate on Sunday.

Saturday:

We worked on group dynamics for SocOr and prepared for next week’s talent show. We had a long quiz in AnaPhy, which was totally draining. I went to my shift at the bookstore. Mansoor and I haven’t interacted much these days as he’s also busy. I was so sleepy during my shift.

[stressedlawsecretary]

Today's Focus

04.26.24 - I'm being soft with myself; it's sunny and gorgeous but it's also allergy season and it's kicking my ass. I rely on OTC allergy medicine, and occasionally I'll intentionally stop taking it to see if the pollen has cleared up. Unfortunately, I live in a place with three distinct allergy seasons, and at this time, it appears I cannot go without; my head hurt so badly I left work early yesterday and it's all sinuses. I'm going out for more today, but thank god it's the end of the week at least.

Work - So, like I said, I took off early yesterday, and SJC emailed me after I left asking me to fix the formatting of a document she accidentally fkd up. Other than that, and maybe an efile (I haven't checked if it's mine yet or not since I'm on the notification list for an AAG that's no longer 'mine') I foresee it continuing to be extremely quiet.

Background Noise - I am remote working, since it's Friday, so the background noise will be mostly the DVR. This is good, since the number is above 90% again and my father has told me there's like 12 hrs he's watched that I need to catch up on. Today if I pick up my tablet to watch YT I'm just watching the videos on the Watch Later in order; no specific focus for today, though I will skip beauty & wrestling videos as I watch those over the weekend.

I watched 25 videos on YT yesterday, which is quite good I needed to make some progress on some things.

Study - Friday & the weekend is where I try to read/finish open Wikipedia pages. Since I've been struggling with sinuses, I'm unsure how much reading I'll be able to do; it'll be hard enough to stare at a screen and format a document while my head is pounding. Ibuprofen can only do so much.

It did affect me yesterday; I only got four pages into one book, and two into another, and aside from a few Horizon/Post Office scandal articles and a random press release that's all I could accomplish. I am le tired man.

Extras - Friday means I clean out the catbox and prep it for the weekend; if I have any energy whatsoever I'll try to get some extra chores done. I am making a haddock meal tonight, after shopping with the hunny; we're prepping for Saturday's meal, which I think will be homemade fast food (chicken finger subs & filet-o-fish sandwiches.) I have three more episodes of Carranger before watching Garo over the weekend and switching back to Turboranger to finish it up next week. The second season of Freakazoid is not particularly long so that might get finished up as well, along with a couple more episodes of Krapopolis on the DVR and maybe some of the Bob's Burgers I got on there as well. I struggled to write yesterday, so I'm hoping to do better today if my headache doesn't overcome me.

[jackhues]

(mockingbird au!) fruit punch - platonic!hughes

request: hi! this request was for the au, I was thinking maybe y/n is receiving some hate for dating jack after they go public and since jack is away for a game, quinn is there to help her through it?

requested by: anon : )

notes: hii, i loved this idea, and i'm so sorry it took so long, but i hope you like it!! continue sending in requests for the au! check out the request rules below! thanks for requesting <3

likes are good, reblogs are better <3

mockingbird! au request rules!

tags: @woodruff-edwards , @austinbutlerscaresme , @svechnikovvv, @hockeyboysarehot , @emptyflowerpots , @mysticaldonkey , @lam-ila , @babydollmarauders , @starjoyyy , @kjohnson-91 , @gavinbrindley, @hischierdevils , @jackhughesily , @panarin10 ,  @equallyshaw , @power2myheart , @lynnismypseudonym , @beccaiscold , @akengii , @nowandkei , @cinnamonpancakes ,  @mitchymainer ,  @lifeofpriya , @marshmallow-babe, @hughesx3 , @emsully2002 , @starsandhughes , @huggy-hischier73 ,  @doglady5678 , @thatoneblog , @exonct07 @hughesmedicine , @qwanelledingele , @mindless-rock ,

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gif not mine!

you smiled to yourself as jack made his way down the stairs.

over the course of your relationship, you’d always known jack to be a pretty happy person. but today, he’d been happier than usual. 

you didn’t blame him. so were you.

last night, jack had posted a picture of you on his story during date night, the two of you hard launching your relationship to the public.

jack had wanted to show the world he was taken since he met you — insisting multiple times that you were the one for him — but you’d gotten him to slow down. at least until the two of you were more comfortable together. 

you knew jack was famous, especially amongst younger female fans. you had no doubt that going public would put the spotlight on you.

but seeing jack’s smile when you’d told him he can post that picture on his story had been everything to you.

“baby, did you see my toothpaste? the travel pack i keep in the washroom?” jack asked, arriving in the living room.

you folded another shirt, placing it in jack’s bag.

“did you check the washroom?” you asked him, trying not to laugh.

jack blinked, trying to remember.

at his expression, you couldn’t hold in laughter, “maybe you should check the washroom.”

“maybe i should,” he agreed, running to the washroom to search for his toothpaste.

jack was set to leave for his roadie in less than half an hour, and like always, the two of you were packing his bags at the last minute. 

jack insisted that it was the only way he could function properly. packing too early made him stressed out. you, on the other hand, needed everything packed at least a week before.

you guys compromised by setting his clothes out a week before, but doing the actual packing last minute.

“got it!” jack grinned, packing his toothpaste. he pressed a kiss to your forehead, helping you up and shouldering his bag. “what would i do without you?”

“you’d probably be buying more toothpaste,” you grinned.

jack laughed, checking his phone at the sound of a notification. 

“is it nico?” you asked, referring to his teammate.

“yeah, he’s here to pick me up,” jack confirmed. 

he kissed you, before pulling out with a giddy smile. jack leaned forward again, and you had to push him away with a little laugh.

“jack,” you ushered him to the door. “nico’s waiting. you need to go.”

“okay, okay. i’ll call you when i land,” he said, pressing one last kiss to your cheek before rushing out the door.

“bye!”

you smiled to yourself, locking the door behind him and collapsing on the couch. 

being with jack had been unlike anything you were used to. the way he managed to make you smile to yourself just by thinking of him, the way he’d become such a big part of your life — you’d never had that kind of relationship before.

you reached for your phone, about to text your friend and ask if she wanted to get brunch with you.

instead, your brows furrowed at the number of notifications on your instagram app. your phone was on dnd, so you hadn’t gotten any of the notifications, but there were a lot.

endless possibilities ran through your brain — from your friends dying to you somehow being added to a million new group chats.

you opened the app, furrowing your brows at the requests in your inbox and profile. people were tagging you in posts, in comments, mentioning you in their stories. 

it took less than a minute for you to realize most of them were bashing you for dating jack.

there were people sharing your instagram user (which was found by a nosy fan who’d done some hunting) in jack’s comments. some people had even made fan accounts of you, and the comments were flooded with mean remarks about your body, your face.

you knew you shouldn’t keep scrolling, but you couldn’t stop.

the comments about your nose, your hips — they were the exact things you picked yourself apart over.

hours passed, which you passed scrolling through instagram and twitter, when your phone lit up with a call.

“shit,” you muttered, accidentally pressing the accept button. you placed your phone on your ear, “hey.”

“hey,” quinn greeted on the other end of the line. “okay, i’m at freshco and they’ve got the fruit punch you like. do you want me to get ritz crackers with that or the digestive ones?”

quinn was shopping for when you and jack were going to visit vancouver on a road trip next weekend. he knew of a few of your weird food combinations, but he couldn’t remember which brand of crackers you liked with fruit punch, so he called to make sure.

you were about to answer, when you remembered the instagram comments. a lot of them spoke of your hips, your stomach… maybe fruit punch wasn’t a good idea.

“um… you know what, it’s fine,” you told him. “i’m not really in the mood for juice, you know?”

you could hear the gears turning in quinn’s head.

“y/n?” he asked. “are you okay?”

“i’m fine,” you lied.

“and i’m the tallest sibling,” you could picture quinn’s eye roll perfectly. “what’s going on y/n? you know you can talk to me, right? is it jack? you guys seemed happy on his story yesterday — oh.”

you took a shaky breath, the hurt you felt over those comments finally catching up to you.

“people are really mean,” you muttered, curling up on your side, trying not to cry.

you heard shuffling from quinn’s end of the line, before he sighed, “yeah, i know. but you don’t have to listen to them. you shouldn’t listen to them.”

“but they’re everywhere,” you said. “i open instagram: there’s a million comments. i open twitter: it’s the same thing. i can’t escape them.”

“just because you can’t escape them doesn’t mean you need to listen to them,” quinn insisted. “those people — they’re the ones who’re dreaming of having your life. but they don’t, and they’re jealous of you. they don’t know you, they know absolutely nothing about you. and that makes their opinion of you invalid.”

you sniffled, listening to quinn’s words. 

you were still hurting, yes. but having quinn there, reminding you that those who were speaking ill of you didn’t even know you made you feel a little bit better.

“thanks, q,” you told him. “that makes me feel a bit better.”

you could hear quinn’s smile, “good, because i still can’t remember what crackers you like with fruit punch?”

[dwailol]

Over the Desk

ComPOUND: Round 4 of a week alone with Bucky

[f reader x Bucky] WC: 1.7k

Summary: after round 3 your hands are still a little brush burned and you’re a little anxious about the ongoing mission. Bucky wants to treat you nice. How nice can he really be though? Especially when you’re sitting on a fucking desk!! ;)

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT 🔞

Warnings ⚠️: mentions anxiety, smut, oral (f receiving), p in v, cream 🥧

——————————

With fresh brush burn on my hands texting is painful. I promised Wanda I would check in with her today. I had some unprovoked anxiety about a secret attack on the compound or some conspiracy plan while I’m alone here. I’m not afraid of any outside threat as much as I am about blindly destroying the building. When the flames begin, it’s almost like an out of body experience. I get focused on my opponent with no care of collateral.

The compound has entity detection systems. However, I got no notification when Bucky snuck up on me last night. While that worries me, I can’t tell anyone about Bucky and I’s situation. They might be tempted to look at the cameras…

Part of my super power maintenance is to keep a cool head and he makes it hard to do that. Our session in the training center was plenty proof. He’s still in there lifting who knows how much weight.

As I’m slowly typing my response to Wanda’s check up, she calls me. Fuck. It would be easier to text a lie than talk around it to one of the most powerful women I know. I step into an office space before answering.

“Hi dear.”

“Hey Wanda!”

“You were taking too long to respond. Is everything alright?”

“Everything is-“, Bucky walks up to stare at me through the glass door. He was shirtless and sweaty after his 3 hour long workout.

“Everything is fine. I’m just a bit tired after my training session. Need a nap.”

“Keep a cool head love. I’ll let you know once we are coming back. It looks like it might take few more days than we anticipated. Be looking for a different number because I have to ditch this burner phone.”

She hung up before the conversation could go on for too much longer. I place my phone down on the desk and give Bucky a nod of approval to come in.

“You should really use a different cellphone for calls like that. One for business and one for pleasure,” he says. He lifts me up to sit me on the desk. I look down from his intense stare. He makes me nervous sometimes.

“Y/n, I know that the nature of our relationship isn’t very roses and chocolates, but you can open up to me about your nerves whenever you feel like it. I’ve had my own struggles with snapping and coming to in a world where you’ve unknowingly hurt people even ones you care for.”

“I’ve been working on my mindfulness like Bruce thought me. I’m just afraid of being used as a weapon against my own will again.”

“No one here will make you do that. They let you stay behind for this didn’t they?”, he lifts my chin up, “You’ve got the freedom of choice now. Why you keep choosing me I’ll never know.”

“It’s because I know you get it. When you get rough with me it’s almost like practice for keeping my anxiety down. If that makes sense-“

He gives me the softest kiss he’s ever given me.

“That makes sense. I’m glad you feel comfortable with me then. No matter how intense things might get I still care for your well being.”

I grab his bare sides to pull him close. I move my hands up to his chest. He squeezes one of them softly and brings it to his face for a kiss. I move his face to mine. We press our heads together before going in for more. Our lips began to melt like butter.

He leans closer and I place my hands behind me to stabilize. The kissing starts to resemble more of mouthing. He pulls me by the hips to the edge of the desk and spreads my legs apart. He grinds himself in between my thighs. I slide back and wince from the pain of my burned hands.

His flesh hand holds me up as his cool vibranium hand massages over the rope burn. He examines the damage and red marks. His touch soothes the pain a bit. He places more gentle kisses on my palms.

“Like I said I’ll be more gentle this time.”

“You don’t have to hold back. I know how you like it.”

“I’m gonna be soft and sweet because I want to be. You deserve some soft and sweet.”

“Show me what your soft and sweet looks like then super soldier,” I gaze up at him with a subtle smile. I know there’s only so soft and sweet he can be.

Every touch from then on is a smooth glide around my body and face. The tenderness of both his hands sends chills through me. He sure was treating me like an angel. He drifts his hand to tease the inside of my thighs where I’m warm and wet.

“You like the sweet stuff too. This is all for you doll.”

He slides my shorts and panties off. He meets his face to my opening then kisses all around it. I feel myself pulse. He brings his fingers to stroke my folds before slowly inserting them. I gasp at the new feeling of gentleness. We’re usually feral by this point.

He moves his fingers as if he were calling for me to come towards him. He strokes the spot inside me that rests next to the nerves of my clit. I moan with pleasure. The sensuality of it was relaxing.

His pacing and soft licks to my pussy brings me to an orgasm. I thought that was only possible with our rough sessions.

“I want you,” I say with the purest desire in my eyes.

“Say no more angel.”

He stands up to remove his gym shorts. Just like his fingers, he slowly puts himself inside me. The feeling is heavenly for sure. I lay back on the desk as he fills me with his cock and rubs at my clit. He starts to lose himself then picks up the pace a little. I moan as he moves through me like silk.

He gives a satisfied “mmm.” He turns me horizontal on the desk so he can hop up and hover on top of me. He lifts my hips up and I wrap my legs around him.

“Tell me what you want most and I’ll do it,” he says while lightly nibbling at my ear.

“Faster,” I say with a wide mouthed gasp following. His movements lift me up. My back arches upwards towards his body with each stroke. I roll my hips with his.

“I love it when you do that. You better be careful. I don’t wanna cum too quick.”

I mindfully slow my movements. He exits out of me to kiss me all the way down to my clit. He stands back up. I think changing positions over this desk of all pieces of furniture is much needed. I roll over to put myself in a bent position.

“Bucky, I know we said soft and sweet, but I don’t want you to hold back in this position,” I give a devious smile and lip bite. He puts his cock inside me. It feels so much bigger bent over like this. He plants both hands on the desk and brings his head close to mine. I feel his length reach so deep.

“Of course angel,” just like that he pops back up. He grabs me by the hips and fucks me the way you should be fucked over a desk. I give him some loud “Oh!”s to give him the green light to really get after it. I claw my nails into the desktop.

“Touch yourself.”

He moves my hand to my clit. I can feel my next orgasm building up and I can tell it’s gonna be a big one. I start to lose my breath.

“You gonna cum for me? I wanna feel it baby. Cum for me.”

“Uh huh I’m gonna cum for you,” I’m nearly breathless. He shortens and quickens his strokes so he’s deep inside me. My hand finally gets a break. My orgasm releases all throughout my body. It felt like a never ending wave of ecstasy. The waves flow perfectly with his beat.

“Damn, angel, I can feel you still cumming on this cock. I’m well on my way.”

“Please give it to me!” I whine. I’m still going. He yells as he releases himself inside of me. He stops moving just to press into me deeper for a second. He lets out his last grunt. He twirls me around to kiss me. It was as smooth as rose petals and as sweet as chocolate.

“I should probably take a shower,” he laughs.

He’s sweatier than when he first came in that’s for sure.

“I’ll join you.”

“I’d love nothing more.”

[urfavdilemma]

Just A Project | V

Nathan Prescott x Reader

Masterlist

Parts: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Warnings: swearing, pretty chill

Words: 655

I dramatically fell onto my bed after I got changed into some comfier clothes. I let out a huge sigh ready for sleep. I sit up and pick up my phone to check the time. 6:12. I gently toss my phone down and lie back down. I close my eyes, trying to fall asleep, but then my mind wanders, thinking about everything that happened today. With Nathan. And then I remember that we're meeting tomorrow at lunch and a new burst of excitement fills my chest. I give a huff trying to clear my mind. I feel myself drifting off into a dream state, when all of a sudden-

*knock knock knock*

I shoot up, startled, like one of those dreams where you’re falling. I let out a groan of frustration into my pillow. I begrudgingly get up and shuffle to the door, quickly composing myself for whoever is on the other side. I open the door and I’m faced with Max Caulfield. A small smile appears on my face, Max is a good friend. “Oh, hey Max.” I greet her. She smiles and says, “Hey Y/N, I was just wondering if you had a copy of the reading material Mrs. Hoida gave us yesterday? I guess I left mine in the classroom.” I think about it for a moment and tell Max to wait for a second, I walk over to my desk and sift through some of my school work. I find what Max is talking about and I bring it to her. “Thanks, Y/N/N. You’re a lifesaver! I’ll bring it back tomorrow!” I smile just glad I could help. “Yeah, drop by whenever.

We say our goodbyes and throw myself back onto my bed. Just as I’m about to close my eyes again I feel my phone buzz with a notification. I grab my phone, frustrated, and read the notification. ‘Notification from Instagram: nthn.prsct started following you’ I blink for a moment going to Nathan’s page. He has a few posts, mostly his work, the occasional Vortex Club flyer. My eyes flicker up to the top of his page. ‘Following: 5’ My eyebrows draw in confusion tapping the following count to see who the five people are. Kristine Prescott, I’m guessing that his sister, Victoria Chase, 2 professional looking photography accounts, and me.

I go back to his page and hit the follow back button. I put my phone down and think about the fact that I’m 1 of the 5 people he's following. I know it's stupid, it's social media, it doesn't matter that much, but I can't help the fluttering feeling that swirls in my stomach at the thought. I finally close my eyes in peace and fall fast asleep.

—————————————————————

Buzz…

Buzz…

Buzz…

I grumble awake at the buzzing. I unwillingly grab my phone to check the time, 8:52. I sigh and then I see the 3 notifications from Nathan. My breath hitches for a moment tapping on them. Our texts open and I see the new messages.

N: “what r u doin nrd” 8:26

N: “u better not have fallen asleep on me” 8:38

N: “ansr me or i kik ur ass” 8:50

I smile a bit at the messages texting him back.

“chill, haha, im awake” 8:54

N: “good, cuz 2 b honest, i dont rlly wanna kik ur ass” 8:55

“aww, why? you like me too much?” 8:55

N: “hell no, im jus 2 lazy” 8:55

“the way you type infuriates me” 8:56

N: “so ive been told but idc” 8:56

N: “deal wit it nerd” 8:56

“no <3” 8:57

N: “whatever dummy. ill see u tmr” 8:57

“goodnight nathan.” 8:58

I shut off my phone, place it on my nightstand and roll over. I close my eyes with a smile on my face, hoping tomorrow comes soon.