#neither of my squishes have been cis

[spacedykez]

jfc they weren't lying when they said that the sexuality crisis comes back as soon as u figure out your gender :SOB:

[poisonandpages]

Gender and style ramblings ahoy!

Growing up I was never really "girly", and by that I mean I love pretty things, elegant things, stereo-typically "feminine" things, but more...more as a bystander than a participant, if that makes any sense? So in my teens while I was figuring out what I liked, I preferred sort of masculine-androgynous styles... and I was made to feel like absolute crap about it. Constantly facing sneers and frowns even from people I loved and trusted, and the pressure to change got 10x worse when I started working and suddenly found myself meeting hundreds of strangers daily.

It was weird because I grew up in a fairly progressive place with relatively progressive people and saw loads of women one might describe as "butch", so I never really understood why they could get to be themselves but I was heavily discouraged from the same. So I guess I rationalised it in my head by thinking that butch was a style for women who were either very handsome or very confident and capable, and neither of those described me. I wasn't "good enough" to be masc so I'd instead have to put in a lot of work to be more feminine (something I'd never say about another person, but I've always been much more cruel to myself than I am to others).

I think in part this was to do with my undiagnosed autism as well - maybe people thought that if I looked more like their idea of a woman I'd stick out less as a weirdo.

So for the past decade or so I've tried to fit myself into a shape that prioritised what other people would like to see instead of who I'd like to be. And I thought "ok, if I can be feminine but kind of edgy, everybody wins! Funky haircuts and punk or retro clothing but with a shedload of makeup and holding myself in a way that makes me look smaller, that'll do, right?" I trimmed myself down and covered myself up until I could be palatable to those around me.

But over this past year or so I've learned a lot of things about myself, and I've been deconstructing a lot of things about the way I view myself that I had already dealt with years ago about how I view others, and I came to the conclusion that all that wasn't making me happy. There were elements that I liked, I still love my dangly kooky earrings and sometimes playing around with makeup can be fun, but altogether the femme identity started to feel like a jacket that fit me really badly to begin with and was getting worse with each passing year, to the point it was squishing in my ribcage and giving me breathing problems.

In recent months I've been experimenting with more masculine/neutral clothing, wearing makeup way less, and had a barber cut my hair shorter than it's ever been before (which was a whole revelation because previously I've paid upward of £35 to have hairdressers ignore my instructions, and this lad did a perfect job for £12 in my living room). I was so scared that I'd look ugly or stupid but instead, I'm happier than I've ever been. I'm still 90-something percent sure that I'm cis, but as an autistic lesbian I feel like I have a more unique relationship with gender as a concept and it feels so freeing to now be able to express it. I'm getting much more comfortable with my natural face (not completely as you can see, I am still a recovering victim of 90s eyebrow trends, but we'll get there.) I accentuate my naturally broad shoulders and square jaw instead of trying to hide them. I wear shirts bought from the men's section of thrift shops. And when I look in the mirror I see me, and not the masquerade version of myself that others might want me to be.

I'm really happy, but I wish I had figured out all this sooner.

[chaotic-tired-bastard]

wait so can you do like spine x rex x reader poly headcannons? uhh if you can uh can ya make the reader trans masc? you dont have to do dat last part i also just wanna say i really liked that one fic of rex and the headcannons you made of him

Of course! This is one of my first times writing a trans reader (I think? Or it's just been a long time) and I didn't really know what to do with it, so I just tried to sprinkle things in. I hope you like it!

-Cuddle piles are quite common with you three

-The Spine’s on the bottom, You’re squished in the middle, and Rex lays on top

-Rex likes to fiddle with your hair while he cuddles with you, pressing his cheek to the back of your head and giving you lil kisses

-The Spine just stares at you

-He’s just always in awe that he managed to get a boyfriend so handsome

-These cuddle sessions can last hours, as The Spine and Rex could never get bored of you❤

-These two are just so touch-starved that they’ll take any physical affection they can

-You brush your hand across Rex’s cheek and he’s swooning, practically heart-eyed

-You touch The Spine’s hand and he grabs your hand, some steam hissing from his cheeks in embarrassment at how much he likes your touch

-Telling them you were trans was surprisingly easy

-The Spine obviously knows a lot abt it because of Rabbit

-Rex knows a bit about it bcs there’s no such thing as a cishet in the Wild West™

-Both of them love you for you and don’t really care that you’re not cis

-You are their moon and stars- their night star

-They love you too much to let who you are drive them away

-The Spine has no problem picking up you and Rex and tossing you over his shoulders

-You both weigh nothing to him, so it’s ridiculously easy

-Sometimes he picks the both of you up for no reason

-Rex can kinda(??) pick you up, but trying to pick up The Spine is a lost cause (He weighs as much as a car I think, but his canon weight is 1.2 tons)

-If you’re having a bad dysphoria day, they’re there for you

-They take care of you, doing their best to keep you going

-Neither of them like seeing you sad :(

-Rex would 1000% beat up any person who even TRIES to be transphobic to you

-The Spine can’t hurt people, due to his Oath of Peace, but he’ll be terrifying and then ruin their online social life

-Rex and The Spine are both book nerds

-Of course, Rex isn’t very good at reading, but he tries!

-He and The Spine like to snuggle up around you, reading quietly

-Rex likes to throw his legs across your lap while The Spine pulls you into his lap, so he can hold you while he reads

-And (yep, you guessed it) this eventually turns into a cuddle pile

-The cuddle pile is inevitable

-So. Many. Kisses.

-They can’t help but litter you with little smooches, pressing small kisses to your forehead and cheeks and face just to see you smile

-Sometimes, they double up and give you all these kisses in the cuddle pile

-They smush you between them as they cuddle and kiss the ever-living daylights out of you

-Like I said, the cuddle pile is inevitable

[gay-possum-rights]

Same anon here. To be clear, I am also a lesbian, I am not trying to step over any boundaries in which I do not belong. I'm also someone who used to be a friend... at least once upon a time anyway, we haven't talked in years. I am not calling you a terf, nor do I think you're a terf. I wanted to let you know where exactly these posts were coming from. I agree with you that it is frustrating to find good lesbian affirmation posts that aren't tied to terfs, and I am sorry that you have people in your inbox telling you to kill yourself. That's not right, and they do not speak for the rest of the LGBT community. I do think it's important to have positive lesbian spaces that allow us to express ourselves, but the reality of it is a lot of these spaces are filled with cis women who don't think trans women belong in them. Not saying all lesbian spaces are bad, but that I find myself having to be more diligent in finding lesbian spaces that are accepting of trans women. Those spaces do exist, and I think it's important as allies to the greater LGBT community that we do our part in making sure everyone is feeling supported. That's ultimately what I was trying to get at during my first ask and I apologize for not making that more clear. Ultimately I wish you the best squish, I hope you are able to find spaces where you feel supported and loved.

Id be happy to talk to you again if you reach out. I understand where you are coming from but going about trying to police other people's terms and labels is not going to give you the outcome youre looking for.

I have tried so hard to find acceptance in LGBT spaces. I do not find it. I have been kicked from so many discords. Why? Because I bring up how lesbians are treated! And I get told to call myself a queer wlw or to "stop being a terf". I am tired of it. I want to speak freely about being a lesbian without slurs and accusations being flung at me.

I know where I am reblogging from. Those blogs actively post positive lesbian posts. I do not enjoy trying to find other lesbian posts and find they are only memes meant for pan and nonbinary. I am neither. I post what makes me happy. Why is that an issue for you or anyone else for that matter?

If those spaces you seek exist, interact with them. Do not complain to me when I do not conform to the speech of those groups. I am not queer. I will not tolerate being called queer. I am a homosexual woman. I am a lesbian. I am gay. That is that.

[nextwarden]

Webtoons are good for the soul [Long post] [but worth it] [hopefully]

Bit of a long one (for a change...), sorry.

I haven’t read that many that’s a lie but here are my favs!

Lore Olympus by Rachel Smythe [ongoing - every Sunday]

or when Hades met Persephone. It’s a love story, fluffy yet deep and sad at times. Very well told and with incredible art (as you can see from the cover ci-dessus), in a pastel/watercolour fluid style, as is the storytelling. It has compelling characters, character growth, love, funny moments, and basically the best you could ask from a romantic story. And it had enough material to get you through good number of hours of reading before you have to break down every sunday in wait of the following week like the rest of us.

mah-hart-mah-sole/10

Love Advice From the Great Duke of Hell by unfins [ongoing - every Friday]

Paul is in love with a cute girl who works in a café nearby. But Paul is shy and can’t work out how to go ask her out. So Paul does what anyone would do and summons one of the Great Dukes of Hell in order to get better at fumbling his sentences and blushing at beautiful maidens. It’s about discovery of one’s true self and how getting deep into shenanigans will lead you to find so much more. Also, sister. (You’ll understand when you get there.)

It’s funny but also compelling and serious but still incredibly funny. I don’t think I’ve laughed as much reading any other webtoon and yet the story is also really cool. It strikes a perfect balance, or near perfect. The expressions and the action scenes are just incredible too.

chenandeler bong/10

Suitor Armor by Purpah [ongoing - every Friday]

In a land with magic and war between humans and fairies, Lucia is the princess’s lady in waiting and her only goal in life at the moment is to get her Lady to have the wedding she wishes for and deserves. But then she gets a flower from a magic armor and everything changes. Also, she’s a fairy.

It’s well drawn, characters all seem unique, varied and personnality-driven. The art style is beautiful. It’s also deeper than what I expected, with inklings of different types and levels of drama.

Alright, I’ll say it, it feels like a ‘promising new Lore Olympus’. By which I mean not to compare but simply to say I felt as taken by the story as I did with L.O.

Modeus/10

Facing the Sun by ArtbyTesslyn [ongoing]

Aarya reaserches the intricacies of dobotics and artificial intelligence with her companion robot Liza who's expiration is long everdue. Things change with a hardware update. One can’t live without the other, and neither can the other.

It’s dark but beautiful, both in the art and in the story. The sci-fi elements aren’t overwhelming and pieces of lore bring begin to pain a picture over time. It’s a slow burn but oh lord! if it isn’t going to be blazing hot...

I Robot/10

Spellbound by Ronce [ongoing]

Eglantine joins a new highschool midyear and finds herself paired with a refractarian roommate. She does her best to fit in to her new school despite not conforming to all the expectations that others might have of her. Or of her strange but likeable roommate.

It’s a cute and queer little romance, very underrated in my opinion. The art is wonderful, it’s black and white in the beginning and starts having touches of colour here and there before going full blown coloured, and I didn’t even realize it had until many chapters into it... The characters all all diverse and interesting. Also did I forget to say it’s set in France and it’s a wizarding school? Because it is!

conseiller principal d’éducation/10

180 Angel by King Katbird [ongoing]

Chloe is an angel, she lives in Heaven and goes to school in the hopes of becoming a delivery angel one day! However her plan are compromised by her inability to do anything well except halo manipulation. Even flying is not easy for her. But a fateful meeting with a reaper sends her on a trip to Hell and back which changes her. Or is it that she had always been different?

It may not seem much from the banner but I tried it and I got hooke. The art is great and still improves over time, the plot takes a bit of time to set in - I’m still not sure it’s fully set in yet - but it’s worth it, and the characters are visually deep. It sometimes jumps weirdly between scenes or sequences but not so much it completely loses you.

LAMP/10

Letters on the Wall by JaelynGs [ongoing]

Tara comes back fom spain after a five years abroad to find things have changed and others haven’t, to her equal pleasure and dismay. This is how she and her friends deal with these old relatioships that they are now reviving.

Everything doesn’t go smoothly despite each and every character deserving them to. The art is good to begin with and manages to improve over time, as well as the storytelling. Where it might have been a bit hectic before, it smoothes over time. It was for the longest time the only reason I would stalk Webtoons everyday to see if there was any updates. Also each chapter has a colour in the name and that’s just cool!

If Da Yomanville Gang [see below] got me to come to Webtoons, this sealed the deal for me to stay. [And then there was Lore Olympus.]/10

Not So Shoujo Love Story by Curryuku [ongoing - every Tuesday]

Rei Chan-chan loves Hansum, the chin chin chinny goodest looking student, more than she loves her shoujo manga. But gorgeous Hannah is in her way and won’t seem to let her get her way with him. Why is that? Well, gaybe there’s a secret hidden behind her motives? Read it to find out...

It’s funny, it’s cute, and it’s so, so stupid. I love them all. It’s dumb but so much fun to read. There aren’t that many chapters yet but enough to get into it. Also, sisters. (You’ll understand when you get there. Bis) So this is what the spring of youth feels like, huh...

chips/10

Always Human by walkingnorth [completed]

Sunati, a young engineer in training, fan of all those mods you can add to change your appearance, meets Austen, a beautiful yet modless girl who she’s been admiring from afar for a while now. She thinks the girl’s beautiful, but sdly she’s refused when she asks her out on a date, and for rather good reasons.

Now watch as they gravitate around each other and how it influences them both.

It’s a slow-burn quite realistic lesbian sci-fi story about finding love and accepting oneself and others in the midst of life and all it brings upon us. It’s cute, it’s fluffy, and it’s heartwarming despite broaching serious subjects - in a good way -, and it’s finished so you can read the whole thing! (It has enough chapters to give you a few hours of reading)

hay fever sucks/10

Da Yomanville Gang by Jason King [ongoing - every Tuesday]

Layla moved recently, to get away from a dose of angst she didn’t want to have to deal with. She meets new people, fun and friendly people, but it seems the angst can’t quite seem to leave her alone. Alone is what she’s not to deal with it anymore, however.

This is the one, long before Lore Olympus, which brought bme over to Webtoons. It’s not the best drawn, not the most compelling, but the strong point and what made me love it - beyond Layla’s chara design - is the depth of most of the characters, how not all good is good and all bad is bad, and reality often lies in the middle - and how they evolve over the course of the story. Definitely worth a read.

wheelbarrow/10

Love Bot by Chase Keels and Miranda Mundt [ongoing - every Sunday]

In the near future - the year is (Blade Runner) 2049 - technology has advanced enough to creat pseudo-artificial intelligence and thus lovebots. Xada mods and repairs those emotionnaly intelligent robots for a living. What brings this story about is him toying with a less-than-friendly client’s bot so much so that he finds himself in quite a pickle when the bot ‘wakes up’.

It seems to be BL. Let it be BL, please! The art is very nice, the story feels dark but the pitch give way to many interesting possibilities, and, well, the characters are quite nice to look at, I’ll admit... Also, angst. I don’t always enjoy it but when I do, I do.

Not many chapters but it’s getting there.

i’ll let you bot my love/10

Mage & Demon Queen by Color_LES [ongoing - every Thusday]

Malori is the best and the most promising mage student at her school. Aided by Cerik, her best friend and swordsman party member, she attempts to conquer the last floor of the demon tower, reigned over by the ferocious Velverosa, the demon queen, whose defeat will bring glory and richess to those who defeat her. But all is not quite as it seems and, what is that, might it be a crush I see over there? Oh, wait, no, that’s just our protagonist getting squished by the weight of her love...

Once again, it’s fun and stupid (a pattern? noooo) but it’s worth a read.

LES/10

Down to Earth by Pookie Senpai [ongoing - every Tuesday]

Kade live alone and depressed in spite of fleeting relatioships since his big breakup, content with simply going by life while he works in retail. One day, an alien crashes into his backyard. Zaida’s an alien but she’s cute, seems innocent, is unfamiliar with everything, so he agrees to help. Thus begins a slice of life story of them roommating in his appartment until, maybe, one of them crashes into the other’s heart?

It’s cute, heartwarming, and I sort f relate with the main character. Although I don’t know if’d prefer a cute alien, a dragon or a stalking neighbour... [that’s an inside joke, I’ll explain if I ever make a list of the good yamete onii-chan! I’ve been reading] It’s a slow burn with enough depth to hook you up. Some characters are still uncertain in my eyes but that makes me curious.

loner/10

The Remarried Empress by Alphatart / Sumpul [ongoing - every Wednesday and Sunday]

Navier Ellie Trovi is an empress. Perfect and perfectly content in every way with her life until the day a mistress enters her husband’s life. Things sort of go downhill from there. Or do they? For she also learns about herself and what she might actually want out of life to be happy. Breaking the status quo might be the way.

It feels like one of those poor quality isekai comics or manga in which the MC is brought back to a time where she has the power to change her life and decides for emancipation and revenge, but it’s not. It’s more ‘yolo’ and had interesting characters, especially the MC - no pushover - and a slow-burn plot. Don’t expect to see the flash-forward in the first chapter quite yet, but come to experience the whole affaire in detail and in the most satisfying of ways! Also the art is cool!

divorce/10

Muted by Miranda Mundt [ongoing - every Friday]

On her 21st birthday, Camille fails the ritual to become a full-fledged witch and is isolated from what remains of her old and successful family. This leads to her discovering truths about herself and her powers that will change her and those around her.

By the same author as Love Bot. I haven’t read the whole thing yet but the designs are good, the plot is interesting, the characters have depth and personnality, it has witches, magic, romance [I guess, still unsure of the details though], a bit of angst, and it’s set in Louisianna. All good points.

plant magic/10

Cursed Princess Club by LambCat [ongoing - every Monday]

Gwendolyn and her sisters, each a princess in their own right, are set to be betrothed to three princes of a neighbouring country after living all their lives happy and sheltered with their father and brother. Unfortunately, Gwendolyn is not like her sisters - and brother, for that matter - in that her beauty is... less than conventionnal. Devastated by what outsiders think of her she escapes into the forest and meets kindred spirits in the form of the Cursed Princess Club - non-gendered, they also have that one prince there! - and it might just help her grow into the confident woman she is destined to become.

I clicked for the funny hahas ‘because she’s ugly’ and cursed princess trope, I stayed for the genuine laughs and smiles and the heartwarming good nature of most of te characters. Also, haha, funny characters are funny. So, yeah, I started this with a bias - still haven’t caught up yet - and have been seduced by this lesser known webtoon. Don’t let the visuals fool you, it’s really good!

respect wahmen/10

Andy Bass by KenneDuck / Gia [ongoing - every Friday]

Andy Bass is our average highschool girl. Litterally. She’s half human, half fish, a real mermaid but vertically. That leads to less-than-friendly looks and reactions from others. However, the arrival of a new, and frankly very cute, transfer student might change all that.

Haven’t read it all yet, not that there are many chapters out, but it feel fun and promising. Also, physically imperfect characters are best characters. Down with the reign of beauty and up with 𝔠𝔬𝔪𝔪𝔲𝔫𝔦𝔰𝔪!

Chin Hansum 2.0/10

For the Sake of Sita by Haga [completed]

A medical student passionately falls in love with a fallen goddess during his volunteer abroad in Nepal, and he desperately tries to fight off destiny to save his love. [the actual summary]

Okay, I’ll be honest: I haven’t quite read that one yet. I’m guilty of only having looked at the beginning and the end to see if it seemed worth it and, oh my gorsh! it does. The art is beautiful, the story seems sad yet beautiful too (I had tears reading the last chapters without knowing much of the rest) and it’s short, so jump on it!

[I’ll probably come back to that later when I’ve actually read it completely]/10

Us Right Now by yurineseventeen [ongoing]

Rina's long-term girlfriend, Noa, decides to run away from home. Rina has limited time to find her.

Not much more to say other than it’s sweet and it feels real. I like the beginning, haven’t read the rest yet, but will definitely soon.

keep going/10

New Normal: Class 8 by Youngpaka [ongoing - every Sunday]

Dongwoon has a big head. It does not make life easy. But what if he wasn’t alone being so... different? He discovers it is the case when he joins his new school a special class full of people who are different. Things get weird fast but also better and fun.

I haven’t read this in a long time, it’s on my list though. But until the moment I stopped at least, it was fun, funny, and interesting. It’s slice-of-life comedy, often ligthearted and stupid, sometimes more serious, but globally a pleasure to read.

sensei/10

The Witch and The Bull by Moonsia [ongoing - every Thursday]

Tan's job as the King's royal advisor has nothing to do with his hatred for witches, but it does make him a prime target for a curse that turns him into a BULL! The only way to undo this hex is to rely on the beautiful witch, Aro. Can her kindness turn his feelings around, and break this spell? [the actual summary]

There are two bulls and they have to ask it questions to know which is the real bull? I dunno, I haven’t read this one... But it’s been recommnded by @berigolote​ so it’s worth a try I guess? She did recommend Lore Olympus to me, so it’s on my list anyway.

to try/10

The Right Knight and Our Days in Lumain by buttersphere [completed & ongoing]

A fun short comic about a play on the ‘knight comes to fight dragon to save princess in her tower’ trope and it’s sequel. The sequel is not finished yet (seems on hiatus) but they are worth the read for cute, funny, fluffy knight and dragon/witch romance and grumpy princesses.

need more/10

NetOL by Forever9Nine [completed]

A slice of life comic about a veeery shy cat-girl (not literally) falling in love with a warm-tempered bookshop employee ( and NOT her colleague), and all the shenanigans that ensue. It’s short, it’s fun, and it’s cute. What more to ask?

oh wow sports/10

Susuhara is a Demon by Soya S. Holm [ongoing]

The usual romance storyof perfectly perfect girl meets absolutely bazongers delinquent and reluctantly carries her unconscious ass to her appartment to help her after witnessing a gang fight between multiple idiots and her (future) idiot and saving her from a knife attack by bashing the last standing dude with a wooden shop sign. Legend says there’s a demon in K-city, I still am unsure of whom it might be.

fun/10

It Stems From Love by Soya S. Holm [competed]

A short story about a girl who loves flowers and finds herself unexpectedly coughing them up dramatically whenever she’s jealous of those around her crush. It’s short, it’s cute, a bit dark at times, but definitely worth a read!

bouquet final/10

Lesbiampires by fabarts [ongoing]

So, yeah, lesbian vampires. Nuffin’ ta add.

Well, anyway, it’s cute, it’s funny, it’s serious too, it makes me root for antihero type characters who actually murder people for fun (but in a fun and respectful way, I swear!) because, well, love./10

Perfect Harmony by bluebloodtanuki [ongoing]

An Overwatch fan-comic about Symmetra and her disaster roommates.

I don’t play Overatch but I like the lore and got dragged into fanfiction and shipping (by myself, mind you), so a fan-comic about similar dynamics AND it’s funny? Gimme.

Roadhog & Junkrat best duo/10

Love Doesn’t Talk by Ann [completed?]

A misunderstanding is fine. Two? Hmmm. Three? Surely that’s fate, no?

A cute love story unfolding before your eyes with no dialogue, only pretty pictures. I’m not actually sure it’s completed but even if it isn’t, the ending doesn’t feel disappointing in the least.

no words/10

AntiSTALKER by VOKIVORMOK [ongoing - every Thursday]

Humans, vampires and werewolves all cohabitate in this freaky highschool, despite tensions between the three races. A bittersweet yet fun love story between a fake stalker and his amnesiac prey...

Eugene wants Kira’s heart, she wants his head.

who?/10

Kiss It Goodbye by Ticcytx [ongoing]

Two lesbians in love recount to their drunk friends the story of how they met. It’s fun and cute, both in story and in art.

delinquent x prim&proper/10

Avril and the Divine Being by Charlie Genmor [ongoing]

Avril is a waitress, Cat is a reccuring client. Feeling blossom before they even exchange words and when they finally do, embarassment ensues.

I got hooked by the art style for this one and I have yet to be disappointed. Not many chapters but keep it close.

sunny/10

Sunflower by EtoileKonijn [ongoing]

Wednesday, an art student, meets Sophie, a friend of a friend. Feelings ensue. It’s beginning to have a good number of chapters (even if they are short) and it feels like it’s actually the slowest burn of them all. Very much worth a read though, for the art style especially.

cute/10

It Takes Two by love_of_pi [ongoing]

Common art style: imperfect but improving. Classic story: normal girl meets famous girl by accident and leave a great first impression. Shenanigans and romance ensue. However the tints of drama, the fun interaction between characters, and the smooth plot make it worth it.

Honolulu latte/10

A Mild Flavor by Ru-rin [ongoing]

A slice of life of different couples. One with a compromised relationship and bittersweet reflections of the past, and the other which is hidden from plain sight, at different times if life. It is not perfect but it managed to worm its way into my heart nonetheless.

tasty/10

The Greenhouse by Viesallon [ongoing]

Another one I haven’t read, but from the extracts I’ve seen the art is compelling, the story seems worth it - definitely deserves the drama tag it seems - and I keep it on my shortlist until I have time to read it.

supernatural/10

My Masochistic Boss by Arisas_Art [ongoing]

Debuting goth writer meets hellish boss of editing company about her new book. Disagreement and tensions ensue. It starts with a slap and might very well end in bed, stay tuned!

This one rebooted recently and the art is soooo beautiful, moreso than before is I may say.

sexy/10

Still Alive by Comic Kat19 [ongoing]

Half-zombie girl meets emo boy, baby ensues.

After the zombie apocalypse, they have to survive, and despite their differences, maybe together is better?

This I classify in the ‘Yuuutsu-kun to Succubus-san‘ category: a somewhat rough art style that I have come to love and enjoy greatly. Also the story is fun.

cat creature/10

The Biggest of Treasures by Aixn [ongoing]

That smile, that damn smile. It’s what got me to try and it got me to stay. The art style is beautiful and the chara designs is too. The plot? Not much to say yet, but cuteness is enough.

bright/10

---------- ---------- ----------

And there you go for now. These are my picks. I haven’t read everything on Webtoon, I haven’t even read everything I’ve subscribed to, but if I had to recommend anything I have tasted, here it is.

Sorry if I missed any you deem worthy; feel free to harass me and mock my lack of culture by flaunting your own.

Maybe more later, in the mean time: keep scrolling, scrub!

PART II

[jemej3m]

if the shoe (ring) fits

in which we meet ichirou, who’s a lot more tolerant to neil’s fuckery than expected.

*

“Condolences on your father,” Neil said, respectfully with a gentle bow of his head. 

He had not liked Kengo Moriyama. The man had been brusque and ruthless, and sickeningly traditional. In a way it was why he and Nathan had be been so well matched together. 

“Condolences on yours,” said Kengo’s son, looking out across the sea of milling individuals, dabbing their eyes with napkins and clasping each other’s wrists. Kengo’s brother was down there, somewhere, but not his second son. Nor his wife, who was killed for allowing Riko to exist. 

The funeral was plasticky. Neil had never actually been to a funeral, seeing as his mother had been thrown into the bottom of a lake and his father had died whilst incarcerated. 

Neil hummed, settling down beside Ichirou. 

“We need to talk about your security.” 

Neil paused a moment before rolling his eyes. “This again?”

“Yes,” the man said, one eyebrow arched. “How do you expect to continue a dynasty without a child?”

“I’ll have a child,” Neil said offhandedly, even if the idea terrified him. Every day he walked around wondering if there was a switch in his body that’d turn him into Nathan, or at least open up and shove him down the path to become him. Perhaps having a child was that trigger. As a coddling infant, Neil could remember one or two moments of peace and joy with his father, before Nathan decided Neil was a good target for his anger. “Anyone can have a child.”

Neil had never, and would never, have sex with a woman, so long as he was still with Andrew. Which he fully intended to be. But he assumed that it was relatively simple.

“You need a wife,” Ichirou’s voice was cold. “There are many good candidates that you can evaluate -” 

“I’m already married,” Neil blurted out. Oops. Andrew was not going to be pleased that Ichirou knew before even he did. 

Ichirou finally turned from overseeing his father’s funeral, up on his prestigious balcony, to look at Neil. His eyes were impossibly narrowed. “You’re what?” 

“My lord,” Neil said, emphatically. “It has been successfully strategic. This person diverts police attention away from me and the Wesninski name, which in turn includes your name. I do believe I avoided telling you because I didn’t want to trouble you whilst your father was ill.”

“Bullshit, Nathaniel,” Ichirou bulstered, his calm facade broken. He looked very tired and a little incredulous. “I can’t believe you’re married to that fucking cop. Seriously? I could have looked around him being a man, but a police officer?” 

Neil shrugged. “It’s worked for us.” He jostled the man’s shoulder. “I forget you’re only a few years older than me, with the way you act like a wall.”

“Yeah, well,” Ichirou muttered. “Neither of us can live up to how our fathers wanted us to be, I suppose. Gay and married to a cop,” he scoffed, but it was almost a laugh. “Your father would’ve had an aneurysm.” 

“Not gay,” Neil muttered. “And he did. That’s how he died.” Blunt trauma to the head, clotting, aneurysm, boom: no more Nathan. No one was sad about it.

“You need an heir of your blood and bone, still,” Ichirou insisted. “Not letting you get away with that one.”

Neil waved him off. “Surrogacy with Allison. We’re in the modern world, Ichirou. There’s always a solution.” He wasn’t about to say that he didn’t intend on sticking around for that long.

Ichirou considered him for a bit, before turning back with a resumed stony expression. “Don’t forget your place, Wesninski.” After a few moments, he added “Congratulations.” 

Neil felt something settle in his stomach. Relief.  

Now he just had to tell Andrew. 

*

The apartment was dark when Neil arrived home, lugging his little suitcase through the door. He’d only gone to New York for the weekend, of which Andrew had been thoroughly peeved about: they both worked long hours during the week, and weekend were meant to be their time.

It was easier now that they lived together. They’d moved in a year ago: it meant Neil only needed heightened security detail on one place rather than two, the rent was cheaper together (not that Neil really needed to worry about that), and it was closer to Andrew’s precinct than his old place. 

The dusty yellow lamp was still on in their bedroom despite the late (or early) hour. Neil left his suitcase out by the couch and tip-toed his way into their room.

He had fallen asleep reading, the book on his chest and head at an awkward angle on the pillow. Neil grinned: Nicky had given him a set of grinch-themed sleep clothes last year for Christmas. He wondered how many times Andrew would stab him if he took a photo and sent it to his cousin. 

Andrew had to be up for work and Neil wanted to avoid waking him if he could, so he dressed in pyjamas as quietly as he could manage and eased himself onto the mattress. The bed was pushed up against the wall so that Andrew could sleep with his back curled against it, so Neil could easily relieve Andrew of his book, settle it on their one nightstand and switch off the lamp. Then he held Andrew’s shoulder lightly, and tried to ease him into a better position that wouldn’t hurt his neck. 

Andrew made a few light noises before rolling and almost squishing Neil underneath him. Neil laughed as Andrew’s arm came around Neil’s chest, his face settling into the crook of Neil’s shoulder. 

Neil twisted around till his back was against Andrew’s chest and let himself relax. He’d worry about the marriage proposal later. 

*

Neil knew, objectively, that Andrew wouldn’t say no to marrying him. They were kind of a forever package: The four years since they’d first met and just over three years since they first got together have been as smooth as any relationship between a mobster and a police officer could be. 

Neither of them had really sat down and said that out loud though: they each had their fair share of problems than inhibited any such emotional conversation. But Neil still knew. 

It was in the way Andrew cooked him his favourite meal when he got home at eleven at night, exhausted and haunted by screams, continually scrubbing at his hands. It was in every sacrifice Andrew made for Neil, the faith he put into Neil’s promises that they wouldn’t have to live they way they did forever.

“You have something to tell me,” Andrew said the following night, when he’d arrived home from work. Neil put dinner down on the table - mac ‘n’ cheese, with nothing remotely healthy about it - and Andrew arched his eyebrow. 

Neil sighed and slumped into his chair opposite him, tugging at the collar of his shirt. It was suddenly very warm. Had he turned the oven off? 

“Neil,” Andrew warned. “Did something happen in New York?”

“Oh, you know,” Neil said, lightly. “Nothing really. I, uh,” Andrew leaned closer, eyes narrower. “I may have told Ichirou we’re married to get him off my back?”

For a moment, Andrew stared. 

“So, what do you think?” Neil asked, voice reed-thin. “I’d change my vows to be ‘CI till death do us part’.”

It didn’t seem like the joke went down well: Andrew’s chair skidded back as the man stood, immediately vanishing from the living room. The bedroom door clicked firmly shut behind him and Neil put his head in his hands. It was too soon, or Andrew didn’t feel the same, or maybe this was Neil’s final straw and now he’d fucked up one too many times for Andrew to tolerate.

“Fuck,” he muttered, rubbing his eyes. “Fuck.” 

It’s not like Neil was hell-bent on marriage either - he’d seen the bloodied divorce between his own parents - but it put the two of them on a different page. There was no way that Neil would force Andrew into something he didn’t want - or that Andrew would let him - but it’d be a rift between them. Maybe even permanently. 

Neil didn’t want to lose Andrew over this. He should have waited - it’s not like Ichirou would have actually checked legal records to see if they were properly married - they’d only been dating for three years, that wasn’t that long by modern standards, if Neil wasn’t so ridiculously irrational then this wouldn’t have been a problem. He wouldn’t lose Andrew over his loose tongue, when there were plenty of valid reasons for Andrew to leave him -

“Stop.” 

Neil looked up, movements jerky and uncoordinated. His limbs felt dismembered. Andrew was stood by the table, watching him with hooded eyes and curled fists. 

Neil made a weak noise of inquiry. It broke in his throat. 

“Stop thinking,” Andrew clarified, slowly sitting back down on his chair. “You’ll hurt yourself.”

Neil snorted, rubbing the corner of his eye. After another moment of terse silence, Neil cleared his throat. “I can fix it. I shouldn’t have said anything, Andrew - ”

Lightning fast, Andrew reached over their food and put something on the table. For a moment the little velvet box didn’t register in Neil’s mind, but then his stomach was rolling on the floor, heart swooping and soaring. With careful fingers, he picked up the box and opened it. 

Within were two silver bands, identical but for the size. Simple. Glossy. Neil took out the smaller one and slipped it on - it fit perfectly, of course. The new weight on his finger felt odd. Odd but good. 

“How the fuck did you get my size?” Neil remarked, quiet. Everything was very quiet, but for his heart, which was probably thudding loud enough that even the corpses in Linkin Park could hear. 

Splotches of colour appeared on Andrew’s cheeks. “You were napping.”

Neil laughed, admiring it. He wasn’t fussed about jewellery, or ceremonies, or titles or heirs or tradition. He just wanted to know that he’d go to sleep and wake up by Andrew’s side, every day that he could. 

“Yes?” Andrew asked, just to be sure.

Neil took Andrew’s left hand where it was resting on the table top and slipped on his respective wrist, kissing his knuckles in lieu of an answer. 

*

“You cannot have ‘Nathaniel Wesninski’ on your marriage papers, Andrew. Are you insane?”

“You’re not taking my name. Or hyphenating.”

Neil huffed out a laugh. “Wesninski-Minyard. No, thank you.” 

Andrew scoffed. “I think you mean Minyard-Wesninski.”  

Neil shook his head, leaning into Andrew’s shoulder. A lot of time had gone into not reacting to that name with visceral disgust, like it would have a few years ago. “I’ve been meaning to change my name for a while now. For real.”

Andrew looked at him. “They’d allow that?”

“Who cares about them?” Neil said, fierce. “It’s just a name. If they’re upset by that, they’ll be devastated by the knife in their stomach. Fuck them.”

Andrew hummed. “What will you change it to?”

Neil took the file of paperwork they were meant to fill out from Andrew’s la, already bored out of his skull. His legs filled the space, draped over Andrew’s lap. Neil pressed an open mouthed kiss to the corner of Andrew’s jaw, to which he rolled his eyes and muttered “Fine,” even though he was just as sick of the paperwork as Neil was. 

“You already know what I’ll change it to,” Neil said, letting Andrew pick him up and carry him to their room. 

“Neil Abram Hatford,” Andrew mumbled, laying Neil down atop of his side of the bed. It was unmade, as usual. He grinned and kicked the sheets away with two errant flicks of his feet, arms looped around Andrew’s neck. “Has a ring to it.” 

“Hatford-Minyard? Minyard-Hatford?”

“Shut the fuck up,” Andrew muttered. Neil just laughed. 

*

teehee!!!

[reversecreek]

clicks onto the dash wearing kitten heels n coyly holding my bang....... hi. me again. it took me so long to select a gif to use on cricket’s intro n i settled on this one bc he looks so unsure abt his smile n it’s rly his essence <3 u can find his pinterest board here n his (work in progress) spotify playlist here. hmu to plot!!! 

* alex wolff, cis male + he/him | you know cricket donahue, right? they’re twenty-two, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, all of their life, on and off? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to should have known better by sufjan stevens like, a million times this year, which slipping on wet leaves to photograph a tree struck alight by lightning, delivering a tedtalk to your own reflection to hype yourself up to buy groceries, hiding your hands inside of your sleeves in case you grew an impromptu megan fox thumb overnight thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is october 1st, so they’re a libra, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( nai, 24, gmt, she/her )

HISTORY:

cricket ws born to a couple tht lived in lilac ridge. their trailer was tucked closest to the woods n always fell under the shade. it was like the leaves wanted to pretend they were a perpetual hanging cloud on the family n that was kind of fitting. their only reason fr having him in the first place was a kind of shrugged like........... we’re under the income bracket we’d get child benefits so why not! may as well try it to rake in some extra cash! needless to say they didn’t rly think it thru or anticipate all of the responsibilities tht came w children n wound up seeing him as an extremely large burden n boy didn’t he know it!

(child neglect & abuse tw) i’ll try to keep this part vague n brief but things were Not Good for cricket growing up. people in lilac ridge didn’t like his parents n it was for a gd reason. he remembers foggy things. being little n wandering around combing the grass with a stick to search for wrappers to suck on bc he was hungry. feeling uneasy when the front door opened. finding out his name was cricket bc the insects used to crawl into their trailer thru the vents n his parents liked to squish them into the carpet -- his mum told him as much once. i think this says a lot. to excessively trim the fat of the story he wound up entering the system at around 8 after his latest and most serious hospital visit. his parents hd to deal w the authorities n last he heard they bounced to evade charges.

(anxiety & violence & trauma tw) cricket sustained a few lifelong injuries from his time in lilac ridge. his knee didn’t heal right which meant he had (n still has to this day) a limp n he’s partially deaf in one ear. he’s always been an incredibly insecure n anxious person so this mde him rly self conscious going into a strange n new environment tht wld b difficult fr any kid to adjust to, nvm w these added worries. he jst felt like something weird to ogle at honestly. he probably wld have felt like that no matter where he was or what he looked like. he cld be in a huge hall of 200 people all wearing the same uniform n he’d still feel like the odd one out. needless to say this didn’t rly help him make friends

cricket’s coping mechanisms were romanticising the things tht other people found ugly or embarrassing or painfully ordinary. he liked it when the rain hit clunky drops against school windows n forbid everyone from playing outside bc he could feel the vibrations through the rubber soles of his shoes n it was a little bit like hearing all of the world at once fr just a moment. he liked medieval fantasy lore about stout gnomes w crumbs in their beards n cheeks red from ale. he liked fallen nests with the remnants of hatched eggs still dirty from the branches n soil they’d hit on the way down. he liked the way the sunlight leaked thru the leaves of the trees in the woods and how, when he sat very still, he could tune into the ringing that was always in his ear n pretend it was coming from the same place, that light thru the leaves, that the angels were trying to talk to him.

he spent a lot of time in the red room at his high skl (i’m begging u this is not a 50 shades reference) (after googling i jst realised it’s called a darkroom bt i’m leaving this fr the sake of sexy bimbo authenticity) n felt quite at home in there. he borrowed a camera whenever he cld (maybe he did yearbook) n photography became his way of immortalising the world as the romanticised version he wanted it to be. his memories were bad bt his photos were beautiful. maybe if he took enough they’d paste over n bleed into each other. maybe bad cld be replaced w beautiful if he tried his very best.

he got placed into fostering w a family once bt apparently didn’t meet the vibe check of their tastes so he wound up returning to the group home he’d initially been placed in. overall this is where he grew up n he aged out the system rather than getting adopted. there was a sense of floundering/isolation/not feeling gd enough in tht bt cricket made do the best he knew how. 

that said there were some gd points! (shocking i kno bc his life hs been so fking bleak so far bt please it’s ok........) (is it?) (🤔). basically he interned as an assistant at this local photography studio during high skl working under this kind of whimsical yet endearing old man. suspected wizard possibly in cricket’s eyes, as an avid fantasy genre reader. for one of his bdays said old man / his boss bought him his very own film camera n cricket cried bc he’d never been bought a bday gift. this ws rly embarrassing bc this old man didn’t know how to emote n neither did cricket so he ws jst sort of sat wiping his eyes n sniffling saying he wasn’t crying as the old man pretended to suddenly clean his lenses. when cricket graduated he offered him a full time position there. they do like. wedding photographs n family portraits n all kinds of things...... pay isn’t huge bt it’s something n he Loves taking photos so it’s sexy <3

PERSONALITY:

SUCH an anxious person it’s actually unreal. overthinks absolutely everything he’s ever said. one morning he might hv put green socks on n for the rest of the day he’s nervously looking around like omggggggg they’re all looking at my socks probably thinking im a little green sock boy thinking i’m a fool n a jester this is all everyone’s probably thinking about i hv to hide my green socks..... even tho literally no-one cares

once saw a girl eating a chicken wing n in his head was like ok she likes chicken good future gift idea..... n turned up at her house with an entire rotisserie chicken

probably thinks WAY too hard abt what to write in bday cards n googles like generic ideas that he can use.... u open a card from cricket n it always says smthn weird like “Warmest wishes and love on your birthday and always!” or “You deserve everything happy. Wishing you that all year long!” tht he got off google

nervously fiddles w things a lot. literally anything. his hair. the cuffs of his sleeves. a thread on his bag. u name it

struggles w eye contact sometimes............ it’s like. he wants to talk to ppl n make friends bt he’s honestly so bad at it. he’s fumbling thru life like a nervous headless chicken

ALWAYS has his camera on him. like always. will tke a photo of u bc he thinks u look nice then be like im so sorry im so sorry...... bowing his head shakily holding his camera bc he doesn’t even kno what possessed him he jst thought it’d be a nice photograph bt boundaries exist. probably breathes very heavily over this later in his room panicking thinking he nw seems like hannibal lecter

probably more confident online bc he has time to think abt what he says more.......... i can see him hving a group of online friends tht he’s more confident w. honestly he’s pretty witty at heart he jst has a hard time verbalising things so ppl overlook him sometimes bt once u get to know him more / he’s more comfy he can b a funny little man.....

loves photographs where he cuts something out of them. loves missing spaces n voids. thinks it’s a rly interesting concept when something that isn’t there becomes the focus of a photograph where everything else is. probably loses his mind fr a collage like a front row 1d stan. likes experimenting w light n perception. pretty artistic honestly hs probably made a stop motion film in the past bc that’s just an extended form of photography in his mind bt i doubt he showed anyone

ummm...... very sweet bt like. he reminds me a lot of this quote. “he had the awkward tenderness of someone who has never been loved and is forced to improvise.” feel like tht sums him up quite nicely

WANTED CONNECTIONS

someone he met at a wedding: cricket probably ws forced to photograph a wedding fr his boss one time n it cld b interesting as a place to meet from that....... like. i can imagine either it being rly awkward maybe he accidentally spilled a drink on ur muse n was stuttering rly apologetic n it ws just a train wreck. or mayb they took pity on him or even (in a shocking turn of events) a shine to him n invited him to drink n dance. omgggg the thought of cricket trying to dance makes me wna die n probably mkes cricket wna hyperventilate bt idk maybe he went wild n let loose. mayb they wound up damaging the camera somehow. mayb they had to scramble to get another one n ur muse covered the cost n it was a strange late night excursion tht cricket thought about a lot since. cricket probably vowed to pay them bk somehow no matter what. idk. we can work things out. lots of diff options here. doesn’t have to b a wedding either can b any event tht required a photographer

ppl he went to school w: pretty self explanatory i suppose...... maybe they were frm completely different worlds..... mayb ur muse was popular n cricket was definitely not but they got paired fr an assignment n had to work on a project together....... mayb cricket asked ur muse on a date one time n it was completely embarrassing bc he didn’t realise they had a bf n it haunts cricket at night still bc he’s rly dramatic.... mayb ur muse felt sry fr him n ate lunch w him n inducted him into their group like a lost puppy finding a home.... world’s our oyster

neighbours from his brief time at lilac ridge: not to reference taylor swift but i’m gna reference taylor swift n say we cld do a seven inspired plot here. sighs a little..... then sighs a lot. he was here ages 0-8 so idk. we cld work out childhood plots perhaps....

sickening simp: i mean.............. cricket probably gets crushes on ppl so easily like just. anyone who’s the slightest bit nice to him.................. he’s a disgrace. ok i take it back. bt also please get it together freak............... i didn’t say that. he’d probably b extra nice to this person n try n pay close attention to things they liked so he cld get them little gifts. just a bit embarrassing n lovestruck bless his heart. wldn’t expect anything back tho honestly that just isn’t something he tends to do.

let’s go gays: cricket’s bi but he probably was rly in his head abt liking boys n tried to sort of squash it internally during his younger yrs...... i think he’s more comfy w it now MAYBE idk bt back then i picture him having a friend tht ws kind of like. similarly loserish as him perhaps (no offence to ur muse potentially filling this plot or cricket bt let’s face the facts) n they’d hang out n play games a lot n one time it jst kind of happened n he was like............. *struts in looking around sharply* What going on here? except not. bc it’s cricket. more like *shambles in looking around anxiously* What’s, uh... What’s... the happenings? S--... I’m sorry. (immediate apology for saying what’s the happenings bc nobody talks like that n it was an impulsive panic bc he didn’t know what else to say)

those who grew up in the system w him: maybe at the group home or i’d also like the family that fostered him n said sayonara. honestly i imagine the parents just thought he ws a bit too much of a handful / had too much baggage which is rly quite merciless n terrible but. if u think that aligns w ur muses home situation hmu......

um. can’t think of more bt just anything honestly. jst go wild.......

[phycorb]

Every time I see someone on Tumblr mock a concept/identity/word used by ace/aro/aspec people while also proving to hold a complete lack of understanding of the concept, I lose 5 years off my life.

(Disclaimer: descriptions of aspec experiences are partially influenced by my own experiences and insecurities, and so they might not be accurate for the whole community. However, insecurities are part of why it hurts when others mock aspec stuff, so they feel relevant.)

The fact that posts made by aspec people are immediately met with “cishets want to feel special” just proves how shitty some people are. But, just to get rid of this argument, I am neither cis nor attracted only to an “opposite” gender. (Which doesn’t exist anyway, since I’m nonbinary).

People here will be like “haha squishes?? platonic attraction??? You want to have friends???”. And they completely fail to understand the type of relationship aspecs want to have. The kind that involves intimacy (just not physical) and living together and sharing your life with each other and even exclusivity.

For example, maybe aspecs will want a life-bond, but romance just won’t work for them, or it would be too different from what they want. Or maybe they tried dating and, while they did crave closure, and they were happy getting closure out of the relationship, it simply didn’t align with what the alloromantic person wanted out of the relationship, so much that it hurt both parties in the process.

And every single time an alloromantic person will turn around and mock the experiences of aspecs, this will remind them that the way they experience attraction makes it not real, that if they want something different than what most people want then they “just want a friend, jeez, stop trying to feel special.”

Every time someone mocks aspec people for saying “asexuals can feel sexual attraction?? Haha how does that make sense” they’re stomping on all the confusion that aspecs go through when they feel they don’t fit anywhere. Asexuality/aromanticism are a spectrum. Aspecs might identify on this spectrum because the attraction they feel is low enough for it.

“Oh, you want to feel special because you don’t have sex often. You’re calling us obsessed with sex.” No. Way to misunderstand. We’re saying the attraction happens so rarely that we might as well start from the assumption that it won’t be there. Demiromantic people aren’t saying that they “won’t fall in love at first sight”, they’re saying that they don’t even know if they will ever feel romantic attraction for a person even after they start dating that person. Graysexual people are saying that it’s so unlikely for them to want anything sexual with their partner that they might as well put up a warning sign from the beginning.

Aspecs who say they “rarely experience attraction” don’t mean to say it only happens once a month, they mean to say that it only happened two times their entire lives. And they say this because these two times when attraction happened make them feel like liars if they were to call themselves ace or aro. And yet it has been 3 years since the last time when they experienced that attraction, so they feel they really do deserve to call themselves part of the ace/aro community.

Allo people will really try to force us into boxes that they can understand. “Oh? You want a close life-bond? That's romance, stop trying to feel special.” “Oh? It’s not romantic? That’s friendship, stop trying to feel special.” Then they will turn around and call us names when we try to explain our experiences and how they are inherently different from theirs.

Even the discourse around the word allo somewhat feels like it is missing the point entirely. It speaks as if the entire aspec community has never felt a single same-sex attraction in its entire life. Being aspec is, to some degree, not about who you are attracted to but about how you are attracted to that person. Aspecs won’t be attracted to people the same way those who aren’t aspec do. This is completely separated from who they are attracted to*. Gay aspec people will struggle with the way they experience attraction when they try to date, unlike gay allo people. Straight aspec people will struggle with how they experience attraction when they try to date, unlike straight allo people. It’s a separate thing from homophobia, and yes indeed gay/bi/pan/etc people who aren’t aspec are not privileged. But that’s not the point? The point is that a gay aspec person will have struggled in a way that a gay non-aspec person wouldn’t have. So, again, missing the point.

*this is something that feels true to me, but might not to others who do feel like their sexuality is about who they are not attracted to.

People just really want to pretend that aspec experiences don’t exist or that they can be neatly put into familiar categories. And when an aspec says none of these categories fit, or that they want to make their own categories, they will be mocked and forced into one of the existing categories. “Just wants friends”. “Just doesn’t want one-night stands”. “Just doesn’t fall in love at first sight”. “Isn’t attracted to anyone”. “Is attracted to people and sharing too much information about it, no one cares.”

My attraction is so different from how an allo person experiences attraction that I feel I can’t really describe myself as either pansexual or panromantic, and yet it is there and I can very much say I am pan. It’s confusing and seeing Tumblr posts that mock concepts I struggle with is really angering for me.

[heroesmusings]

FULL NAME: Thor Odinson

MEANING: Thunder

NICKNAME: Pointbreak

MEANING: It’s what Tony calls him

AGE APPEARANCE: Appears 36, actually over 1000

BIRTHDAY: Unknown

ASTROLOGICAL SIGN: Unknown

SPECIES: Asgardian God

GENDER: Cis male

ALLERGIES: None

SEXUAL PREFERENCE: Pansexual 

THEME SONG(S): Thunder by Imagine Dragons, Sunlight by Hozier, Lover of the Light by Mumford and Sons, Young Volcanoes by Fall Out Boy

APPEARANCE

HAIR COLOR:  Dark Blonde

HAIR STYLE AND LENGTH: At times it can be long to shoulder length but also can be buzzed on the side with a little more on top 

EYES COLOR: Blue

EYESIGHT: 20/20 he’s a gOD

HEIGHT: 6″6′

WEIGHT: 235 lbs

OUTFIT/CLOTHING STYLE: Usually he wears his Asgardian get up but when he dresses down he wears jeans and a hoodie

ABNORMALITIES: Missing an eye

DISTINGUISHING MARKS(SCARS,MOLES): Many battle scars cover his body

SELF CARE(MAKE UP): Sometimes sports a beard

FIRST IMPRESSION ON PEOPLE: He looks big and intimidating but he’s actually super friendly once spoken to  

SKIN COLOR: White to tan

BODY TYPE/BUILD: He’s built like a goddamn GOD, there is no way to explain it.. He’s big and made of pure muscle 

DEFAULT EXPRESSION: He tends to look serious just because he was raised a prince 

POSTURE: Thor has perfect posture he was PRINCE OKAY 

PIERCINGS: None 

DESCRIBE THEIR VOICE: Thor’s voice is deep, with a bit of a forgien accent and when angry his voice carries like thunder 

RELATIONS:

MOM: Frigga

HOW WELL DO THEY GET ALONG: Thor was so close to his mother, he adored her with all his heart and misses her every day

DAD: Odin

HOW WELL DO THEY GET ALONG: Thor has mixed feelings when it comes to his father. He used to think of him as a good man but as things came to light and realized some things Thor has slowly come to realize that Odin was never a good father 

SIBLINGS: Hela, Loki

HOW WELL DO THEY GET ALONG: Thor loves his brother, sees the good in him but Loki doesn’t like him and neither did Hela…. So not well. 

CHILDREN: N/A

HOW WELL DO THEY GET ALONG: N/A

OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS: N/A

PAST LOVER(S): Many one night stands, Jane Foster (ex-girlfriend)

CURRENT LOVER: Bruce Banner

REACTION TO MEETING SOMEONE NEW: He likes making friends he’s really a sweet guy

ABILITY TO WORK WITH OTHERS: Thor is very easy to work with and loves to work with people 

HOW SOCIABLE(LONER,ETC): Thor is vERY sociable he loves going out and being around people 

FRIENDS: Hemidall, Steve Rogers, Tony Stark, Carol Danvers, Bucky Barnes, Natasha Romanoff, Clint Barton and literally anyone else

PETS: None

LEAST FAVORITE TYPE OF PERSON: Anyone who thinks they can take advantage of meeker people 

PARENTAL TYPE(PROTECTIVE,ETC): Playful and Protective 

FAVORITE PEOPLE: Bruce, Steve, Bucky and Hemidall 

LEAST FAVORITE PEOPLE: The Dark Elves, Thaons, 

PERSONALITY:

..WHEN YOU FIRST MEET THEM: He looks regal from a distance but he’s very warm and friendly 

..AS YOU KNOW THEM BETTER(AND THEY LIKE YOU): Teasing, Excitable, Gentle

..AS YOU KNOW THEM BETTER(AND THEY DISLIKE YOU): Gruff, Cold, Confrontational 

FAVORITE COLOR: Silver 

FAVORITE FOOD: a stew his mother would make

FAVORITE ANIMAL: ALL ANIMALS, but he’s partial to snakes

FAVORITE INSTRUMENT: ALL OF THEM?

FAVORITE ELEMENT: Fire

LEAST FAVORITE COLOR: White

LEAST FAVORITE FOOD: Weird midgard foods

LEAST FAVORITE ANIMAL: NONE HE LOVES THEM ALL 

LEAST FAVORITE INSTRUMENT: None?

LEAST FAVORITE ELEMENT: Water

HOBBIES: training, video games, learning anything he can about earth

USUAL MOOD: Usually in a good mood

DRINK/SMOKE/DRUGS: Drinks socially

DARK VERSION OF SELF: Thor would be the perfect weapon, powerful and unforgiving, the realms would tremble at his feet

LIGHT VERSION OF SELF: close to what he is now, happy and unworried 

HOW SERIOUS ARE THEY: IF the situation is a tense one he’s very serious but other than that he’s rather joyful

BELIEVE IN GHOSTS: Yes and no?? He can connect to the allfather but that’s it

(IN)DEPENDANT: Thor thinks himself rather independent but he’s not. He’s very connected to everyone he loves

SOFT SPOT/VULNERABILITY: Talking about any of his family, when people try to threaten the avengers, people hating Hulk

OPINION ON SWEARING: He’s rather clean spoken just because he's a prince

DAREDEVIL VS CAUTIOUS: oooh daredevil

MUSIC TYPE: he leans towards what Steve tends to play, he also loves classical music and typical asgardian music 

MOVIE TYPE: Anything ANYTHING 

BOOK TYPE: Again Thor loves to learn so anything 

GAME TYPE: If it’s Asgardian games, it’s anything that has to do with brute strength or drinking -- human ones he doesn’t really care about

COMFORTABLE TEMPERATURE: Thor likes it a little on the cooler side

SLEEPING PATTERN: When Thor is out HE’S FUCKING OUT, he’s a rock its impossible to move him. 

CLEANLINESS/NEATNESS: Thor is used to being cleaned up after but he is polite so he keeps it as clean as he can

DESIRED PET: ALL PETS EVER

HOW DO THEY PASS TIME: Helping rebuild Asgard

BIGGEST SECRET: I don’t know if Thor really has any secrets? He’s an open book anyone can ask him anything

HERO/WHO THEY LOOK UP TO: His mother, Frigga

WHAT ANIMAL WOULD THEY BE: the biggest puppy dog on eaRTH

FEARS: Bruce getting hurt, anything happening to the avengers, and losing Asgard again

COMFORTS: Being around the avengers, spending alone time with Bruce and training

HOW DO THEY ACT WHEN THEY ARE:

SAD: Thor is a prince, he has always been told to hide negative emotions, so Thor bottles it up, he puts on a brave face because he is a warrior and royal. So for a long time no one knows he’s sad until he starts pulling away and secluding himself 

HAPPY: Thor is like a ray of sunshine, he talks fast, and tends to just want to touch and laugh

ANGRY: ……………………...AN ANGRY GOD IS NOT SOMETHING YOU WANT. It’s pure rage, the sky turns black -- a storm swirls above him and he’s lit up with lightning. He’s brutal and will not show mercy 

AFRAID: Thor doesn’t really fear? He’s never been allowed to fear. He’s a god and he knows his powers but when he is he tries to face it head on, take it by the horns and conquer it. 

LOVE SOMEONE: Gentle, and understanding -- he cares deeply about them and checks up on them often. He’s always around and is expressing his admiration for them 

HATE SOMEONE: He’s cold, which is a VERY rare thing for thor. He doesn’t hate many but its an angry hate, so if he hates you, then you’ve done something so wrong

WANT SOMETHING: He asks permission.. That is what he was taught to do, so he’s polite as he requests whatever it is.

CONFUSED: He wants it explained to him he loves learning okay 

HOW DO THEY REACT TO:

DANGER: THOR LOVES DANGER, but he’s protective if it involves people he loves

SOMEONE THEY HATE WHO HAS A CRUSH ON THEM: I’m sorry if but Thor hate you you are dead no way around it so YOU CANT HAVE A CRUSH 

PROPOSAL TO MARRY: Thor would be ????? so confused. He would have not expected such a thing but he’d of course say yes and would want a human and an asgardian wedding 

DEATH OF LOVED ONE: He interlizes it, he hasn’t ever had a proper way to express his mourning.. He’s still recovering from the death of his family. 

DIFFICULT GAME/MATH/ETC: He’d try the best he can, and usually he figures it out

INJURY: ...he’s a god so he’d just take it as a badge of honor

SOMETHING IRRESISTABLY CUTE: He would want to squish thank you

LOSS OF HOURS OF WORK: Thor doesn’t LOSE hours of work okay he’s always wanted on missions 

KNOWLEDGE:

LANGUAGES: Thor has allspeak so literally everything

SCHOOLING LEVEL: Graduated from formal Asgardian education and warrior school 

FAVORITE SUBJECT (S): Ya know… fighting 

INTERESTED CAREERS: Valkyrie until he realized it was for women only 

EXPERTISE: asgardian physiology, weather manipulation, flight, electric manipulation, combat

PUZZLES: Thor would rather hand them off to someone else so he can do other things

CHEMISTRY: for human, not so great at that because he’s not from earth but asgardian chemistry he excelled in it

MATH: Again, human math? Not so great but Asgard? Expert 

ENGLISH: HE didn’t HAVE ENGLISH 

GEOGRAPHY: he knows how to get to realm to realm 

POLITICS/LAW: Given he’s a prince he had to be very involved in all of it

ECONOMY/ACCOUNTING: Again a prince so its his job

COOKING: Nope not at all, he’s always had things cooked for him

SEWING: Medical sewing he’s okay at

MECHANICS: This is just way over Thor’s head all of it

BOTANY (FLOWERS): Not really interested in all of that 

MYTHOLOGY: HE IS THE MYTH

DRAMATICS(ACTING,SINGING): Not for him, for Loki maybe

READING LEVEL: Proficient in all languages 

HOW GOOD ARE THEY AT PLANNING AHEAD: somewhat? He did have to do battle strategies 

ROMANCE:

DO THEY TAKE INITIATIVE: Yes ALL THE TIME, he’s so touch

HOW DO THEY ACT(SHY,ETC): He’s fairly forward honestly 

GENTLEMAN/LADYLIKE VS KLUTZY: A GENTLEMAN HE’S PRINCE

GO SLOW VS JUMP INTO: With people before Bruce? He usually just jumped right in but he likes taking it slow with Bruce 

PROTECTIVE: uh hell yeah

ACT LIKE FRIENDS OR LOVERS: Both 

WHAT KIND OF PRESENTS DO THEY BUY: Thor likes bringing Bruce all sorts of things from Asgard honestly, anything that he thinks Bruce will like he brings

TYPE OF KISSER: Surprisingly, Thor is a very soft and gentle lover. So his kisses are the same, gentle but VERY through

DO THEY WANT KIDS: i don’t…. Know. i actually don’t think it’s crossed his mind?

DO THEY WANT TO MARRY: YES YES 

MAKE GOOD OR BAD DECISIONS: Uh both, but he likes to think he’s got good intentions 

ARE THEY ROMANTIC: yes OF COURSE

HOW ARE THEY IN BED: Thor’s a god.. And he’s very well versed so sleeping with Thor is truly otherworldly

GET JEALOUS EASY: Actually no, not really

WIFE/HUBBY BEATER: NEVER

MARRY FOR MONEY: LMAO NO NOT AT ALL

FAVORITE POSITION: oh my god.. he for sure likes to top.. Really any position he just likes intimacy 

WHAT WOULD HAPPEN ON THEIR DREAM DATE: DATE ON ASGARD, he wants to treat Bruce to a perfect evening on asgard filled with food and magic and science and watch the sunset over the water

OPINION ON SEX: Sex is almost a ritual to him? It’s a very important and meaningful thing..  He never takes having sex lightly. Its meant to be a celebration of intimacy.

[thelifeofkaiblog]

Toxic Gender Roles....

•*•*• 7th March 2017 •*•*•

One thing that Squish was struggling with, that ultimately added massively to the stress that caused us to break up, was trying to figure out who he is because he’s always felt he had to be other people’s idea of a “man” to be taken seriously.

When it comes down to it, he’s more gender neutral than male, but feels most comfortable presenting male in body and pronouns. However, he is similar to me, in that he doesn’t think much about whether something is masculine or feminine and feels held back by those labels.

Even writing this, I have a hard time finding the words to describe him, when it comes to masculine/feminine because neither ever cross my mind unless it’s a topic of conversation or relevant. I mean, I see him as a guy who is kind, caring, genuine, smart, helpful and, unfortunately, confused and struggling. I do think of him as somewhat masculine, but not society’s full on version.

One of the reasons we had to break up was because he wanted to find out who he is and was worried about judgement. It’s also one of the main reasons he feels unable to be around my family right now - for fear of judgement if he’s not a “man’s man”.

Finding yourself is an important individual journey, but I wish he hadn’t bottled it up until it started affecting our relationship negatively. I would have supported him doing exactly what he has been - going out with new people from an LGBT group. It hurt a lot when he said he felt he could be himself (with them) for the first time in a long time, when a major thing in our relationship was about being free to be ourselves. All I ever wanted was for him to be himself and he seemed to, for the most part, so this is hard to wrap my head around.

——————————

Men (cis and trans) can wear dresses/makeup without being women or gay. Some are gay, but it’s not because of what they wear. Trans guys can wear dresses/makeup without it invalidating that they are male.

Women can wear whatever they want and no makeup without being lazy or unprofessional. Taking care of yourself doesn’t mean wearing clothes you don’t like or putting makeup on your face to please others. Some women like makeup, some don’t - it’s not something anyone should be pushed into.

Those are just two examples of toxic gender roles. Here are a few more:

- Men don’t have to have big muscles or abs!

- Women don’t have to have a flat stomach or curves “in all of the right places”!

- Men don’t have to be crude/rude to/about women to be men; being sweet and romantic doesn’t make them feminine or “whipped”/on a leash!

- Women don’t have to remove all body hair except for their head hair and eyebrows; it's *not* disgusting/lazy, they can still be feminine if they want and, whether they are or aren’t feminine, they can still be attractive!

- Gender Non-Conforming people don’t *need* to pick a side or fits into the gender binary; self-expression is not one or the other!

Do not restrict people with labels. Let them figure out who they are without teasing them or invalidating their identity.

[biandaceconfessions]

do you still respond to confessions? I guess im confessing anyway. I don't often talk about my sexuality because sex, being sexy, being hit on (which is rare, but has happened) makes me uncomfortable, especially from guys (im a 20 y/o girl). I've done very well closing myself up and shutting people down. I feel my unconscious mindset is I'd rather someone not get to know me than know me and reject me. However I feel my fear of rejection has also clouded my understanding of my own sexuality. 1/?

I assume I'm something fucking queer as I've been questioning my sexuality since 12 y/o or earlier. But, more along the lines of why do I lie about having crushes? If I dont have a crush on a boy I must like girls do I have a crush on my friends, no? So, wtf? Throughout teen years, a friend has a cursh, I'm like yeah they look hot but I don't want to pursue them. At the same time I'd be hot and heavy for Eric from True Blood. So then I feel strange because it's like I can't let real people 2/?             

cont.- can't let real life people, be people and sexual/romantic partners, like I'm objectifying people only attracted to their appearance but then again I'm not so attracted that I'm like yeah I'd fuck them. I don't know. I'm confusing myself just typing this. I didn't even touch on how this makes me question if I'm bisexual or ace or both or am I just looking for a lgbt label so that I'm just edgy, different and not a boring white, cis-het girl. I think my biggest fear is saying I'm ace 3/?         

cont.- without fully comprehending what that is or how others would read that. What if I'm not ace but then people beieve I am and then no ones is interested in me. But since I'm not interested in anyone do I care about that or not? Same thing for when I had an inkling that I might like girls but if I don't like girls then I just told everyone I did, then am I posing and will guys not like me. Because I don't get asked on dates I also thought what if I'm questioning my sexuality just because 4/?

cont.- just because guys don't like me, am I just thinking I might be into girls because rejection from girls hurt less than guys? because most girls I meet are straight so their no possibility that I could be rejected romantically for someone not seeking my gender. Ditto for my obsession with gay men in media such as films, stories and drag queens. Do I like them and want to be a part of that life just to get rid of the pressure of questioning if they're attracted to me. 5/?             

cont.- So one again that all trickles back down to am I ace or bi? Neither or both? Do I want a relationship?-I'm not looking. Am I not looking because I do want a rom/sex relationship but fear rejection or because I genuinely don't want that because I don't feel that way about anyone? I've seen my sister literally cry over not having a boyfriend multiple times in adolescence and I'd be like "wtf. why does that feel so important to you?" So that's kept me thinking okay maybe it's not 6/?             

cont.- not all influenced by my shyness, anxiety or the fear of rejection but that I genuinely do not feel the same way about people romantically/sexually than the "average" person (Gay, Les or Straight). I literally found this new word on your tumblr -squishes. Now it sounds so childish but the meaning of the word is how I feel about a girl right now. We are not friends, she's just beautiful and I wish I could become her close friend. However, this is clouded by the feeling of do I simply 7/?             

simple have an interest in her (for a friendship or intimacy), simply because she's openly bi, but has a boyfriend and several other guys thirsting for her. So am I attracted to her or just because she's conventionally attractive and/or because guys are interested in her and I want her to be with a girl so boys can't have her because I'm so fucked up that I have some internal hatred towards men, which is possibly due to past sexual harrasment/abuse from men, so now they must all be shit... 8/?             

cont.- so now here is my apology for such a long-winded, convoluted confession that likely just shows that I'm a crazy person overthinking and also just man-hating. But I do have male friends who I actually really hope find happiness and romantic relationships. So here I sit another year older and another year confused about what I feel and who I am in terms of sexuality. final part/?             

(Yes we do still take confessions, it’s just been a while since one has come in.)

I’m going to do my best to parse though everything you’ve sent in because as you, yourself have already realized, there are a whole helluva lot of layers to this and what you’ve been questioning and thinking over.

The first thing that I kind of latched onto that you shared was that you don’t really have an interest in crushes and you can understand when your friends do, but it doesn’t hold any sway for you. I don’t know how much you know about aromantics, but that rang a bit of a bell for me since aromantics either don’t experience crushes or they take different forms so you could have no interest in that aspect of relationships.

Something else you mentioned was the attraction to fictional characters. Some people lose interest in sexual/romantic relationships when those feelings are reciprocated. So, being attracted to fictional characters could be your way to ensure there’s no discomfort of possibly being faced with someone having interest in you, since there is your internal struggle with men liking you.

I don’t know how much research you’ve done into asexuality and have read through accounts by other asexuals, but asexuality is a lack of sexual attraction to others. You can be ace and still be interested in sex and have sex. Asexual people can also most definitely have relationships. So if people are completely turned away from pursuing you because you might be ace, then that makes them an asshole who probably wasn’t interested in you for more than sex anyway and they deserve a kick in the groin for being an asshat.

As far as crying over not having a boyfriend as your sister has done, I think that can easily be tied to the heteroromantic pressure that exists in society. Social norms are constantly telling us that we should in heterosexual relationships and that we have to be in romantic relationships to have any form of fulfillment in our lives. Now that idea is all kinds of wrong and causes more pressure for everyone (especially aromantics) and negates any form of personal happiness or satisfaction that comes from platonic or familial relationships. And those are just as important as any sort of happiness that comes from romantic relationships. It just happens that not everyone needs romantic relationships in their lives to be happy and society is going to lash out at people who feel that way because of it and make the pressure worse for people who aren’t dating someone.

Squishes is a very important term for me and I’m so happy it exists and that you found it because to me it reflects a need to get to know someone and forma  bond that doesn’t necessarily have any sexual or romantic ties. It’s a desire to share your life with someone else that is at its base really no different from romantic or sexual connection.

After reading all of this I just want you to know that you don’t have to find a label right away. Whether you settle on bi, ace, or something else entirely. Sexuality is confusing and the way society functions doesn’t help things at all. Figuring things out can take a while, especially when you’re sifting through so many layers like you have been. And it sucks that it can take so long, but it’s not an easy thing for some people to figure out. I didn’t figure out I was ace until I was in college.

If you’re afraid that testing out a label right now means you’re stuck with it for the rest of your life, let me reassure you that you’re not. Considering how much you’ve thought this over and recognized the different impacts it has on your life, I doubt you’re doing it to be “trendy” or “different” or special in some sort of way. It’s just as acceptable to think you fit one label right now and realize you’re something else later and that’s fine. You’re not going to get more brownie points or whatever for figuring it out faster because the whole process is really fucking difficult in itself.

And if you never find a label that really fits and can be at peace just going through life as who you are then that’s okay, too.

[biotechniczeal]

-- choriocytosicInquisitor [CI] began pestering biotechnicZeal [BZ] at 15:03 --

CI: C!TR!N, MY LOVE.

CI: H!.

BZ: OH ZHIT IT'Z DAT BOI.

BZ: what'z up??

CI: WHADDUP !S... me wonder!ng when you w!ll be v!s!t!ng Lauct!s? >80

CI: W!ll that be soon?

BZ: YEAH, ACTUALLY. i've been packing my zhit.

BZ: i juzt had to make a few arrangementz firzt...

BZ: lmao it'z weird being productive.

CI: !t's not we!rd. !t's good ?or you! And there?ore, TERR!BLE ?or th!ngs !? you mean ?or them to be ?un.

CI: ! m!ss you. 8(

BZ: i mizz you too. B(

BZ: IT BLOWZ... but at leazt i'm keeping myzelf buzy at leazt.

BZ: alzo... zoon... ZOON.

CI: HOW SOON. ! can come see you R!GHT NOW.

CI: !? you tell me where you are.

CI: !'ll go ?!nd you!

BZ: OH FUCK.

BZ: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

BZ: in that caze i'm at my dadz' houze.

CI: Your dads' house????? BUT HOW CAN ! RAV!SH YOU W!TH SMOOCHES !? !'M AWARE YOUR DADS ARE HOME!!!!

BZ: plz.... they're probably too buzy zmooching each other or zomething.

CI: Strangely enough, that doesn't make me ?eel better about the arrangement.

BZ: LMAO i know it'z grozz.

BZ: but ztill.

CI: Okay.

CI: ! w!ll now proceed to vo!ce my compla!nts !n success!on.

CI: Aaa.

CI: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

BZ: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!

CI: WHY MUST EVERYTH!NG BE D!??!CULT!

CI: ?!ne. !'m go!ng over anyway.

BZ: u fuckin' better.

BZ: >8P

CI: PREPARE YOUR PER?ECT BUTT, MR. STR!DER.

BZ: IT'Z READY.

CI: THAT D!DN'T TAKE LONG AT ALL! !'M SHOCKED.

BZ: that'z my butt'z zecret, ruleuz...

BZ: it'z alwayz ready.

CI: 8)

CI: !'M ON MY WAY.

BZ: B)

BZ: ZEE YA.

CI: *Perhaps close to a whole hour later, Ruleus is STORMING into the Casa de Strider English Captor and bullying J Dad awake from his nap. WASSALLA HULLABALO? It's Ruleus in the main living area.*

BZ: *citrin floats in when he hears a whole lot of hollering, which isn't unusual, but there's the distinct sound of RULEUS HOLLERING so he's here.* RULEZ ZTOP HAZZLING MY DAD GOZH!!

CI: *Here he is, the tall lanky fish caveman spongebob meming at Citrin.* CITRIN!!!

CI: JAKE: *still blinking heavily and sleepily, half waving an actual pistol around* Hoh rascals... you boys. You know better than to-- *mumble mumble, he's getting comfy back into the couch.* Take it to your room fellazzz.... zzzz

BZ: *snorts at ruleus and jake... they're both dorks... but here comes the peach, rocketing himself in ruleus' direction so he can cling to him.* eheheheheh!

BZ: you heard the man, let'z zplit.

CI: *HUP, naturally ends up carrying Citrin up in his arms.* GLUB. RIGHT! As you wish!!!! *scurries out of there, peach in tow.* Sorry Mr. English!

CI: JAKE: *snorts and waves his hand. Get on out you crazy kids.*

BZ: eheheheh... *buzzes all the way to his room, and once they're out of sight down the hall, he's covering ruleus in smooches.*

CI: Pfft prfbthth, that TICKLES. *scolds him, but not before ducking right into his room first. Stops dead in his tracks.* Wait.

CI: This is YOUR room, right?

BZ: LOL. well if u don't hear zim, dru or vic zcreaming then i think we're good. *looks over his shoulder*

BZ: YEAH WE'RE GOOD.

CI: OKAY. *launches Citrin onto his bed.* BYE.

BZ: WEEEEE. *there he goes. he lands and bounces gleefully. BUMBLES BOUNCE.* eheheheh.

BZ: *curls finger at him after posing seductively.*

BZ: /come hither./

CI: *launches for the bed, flailing his limbs. SCREAM. Casually drops on Citrin.*

BZ: DOOF.

BZ: *clings to him and ROLLS.*

CI: >8) *He is FEARSOME AND LARGE and not at all twiggy. There they go, rollin like a tumbleweed.* Ahhhhhhhh, I've missed you sweet peach.

CI: Even a finful of weeks is TOO MUCH.

BZ: ENOUGH IZ TOO MUCH. *giggling against his fins as they roll.*

BZ: pretty zoon we'll be in the zame place though... PERMANENT LIKE.

BZ: i'm gonna hit up nannerz later zo we can zcope out placez to live. oh zhit. *sits up while he's on top of ruleus.* BTW...

BZ: dadz cubed hooked up at the zkaianet branch on lauctiz in the bioengineering department!! >80 juzt an internzhip for now but ye.

CI: An internship??? *his fins perk until he's grinning wide. Yessss, Citrin perched on top of him was the best view. But Ruleus has to roll up to sit and scoop him in another hug.* THAT'S SUCH GREAT GLUBBING NEWS, CITRIN. I KNEW YOU WOULD NEVER HAVE TOO MUCH TROUBLE!!!!

CI: Will you be needing help searching for a place to live? Should I come with you and Ananya?

BZ: eheheh... *flushes a nice shade of peach, leaning into the embrace.* ummm.

BZ: the more the merrier tbh...

BZ: PLUZ it'll be your place too, zo??

BZ: bazically tho idk what the fuck i'm doing.

CI: Neither do I??? *content enough to let Citrin sit on his lap, hugging on him.* But HMMM. Yes. I think I will have to discuss this with Sileas.

CI: I'm not shore what plans he has EXACTLY. But it's a shame we can't all LIVE TOGETHER. It seems ridiculous that we can't. 8/

BZ: lol... yeah... it'z a real zhame...

CI: *tilts head at him* What would your preferences be?

BZ: *shrugs* nothing zuper FANCY... i'm pretty content with a lil apartment or a condo in the city.

CI: WELL YES. But in terms of living arrangements?

BZ: UHH... *sweats* you, me, and ananya?

CI: *looks off thoughtfully* And Sileas isn't included. *It's not a question but an observation.*

BZ: I MEAN...

BZ: i wanna ztay with ananya but... YIKEZ.

BZ: thoze two couldn't pozzibly live together. lbr.

BZ: there would be blood.

BZ: THERE HAZ BEEN BLOOD.

CI: I KNOW. *facepalms* How many more bridges must Sileas burn before he's SATED. I haven't a clue.

BZ: *fidgets a little.* zo like... i dunno. if you guyz talk and he wantz you to ztay with him then uh... that'z cool too. *he knows things... he just doesn't know if these THINGS have come to fruition yet.*

CI: But how fair would that be to you? *furrows his brow with all the fidgets and factors he has to take into account*

CI: Maybe it would be best if I lived on my own.

BZ: ... *nuzzles at him* hey, i'm juzt zaying... whatever you wanna do, i won't be far, right?

BZ: and... no matter where you're at, zileaz iz INEVITABLY gonna have to deal with a lot of me. *smiles a little*

CI: I don't think that's up for debait! *sighs and envelops Citrin in another hug* He can gripe all he likes. I will plant a fresh foot up his posterior.

CI: I just...

CI: Don't sea it all as fair.

CI: If it was only at his expense, I could honestly see myself NOT GIVING A CLAM. *But he knew it didn't work that way. He hugs on Citrin tighter.*

BZ: *buzzes softly, comfortingly... he had to admit to himself, this made him feel pretty darn important.* well... juzt talk to him about it and zee what he'z got to zay.

BZ: if you think having your own place iz the mozt fair then i'm cool with that... really.

CI: *Buries his face by the crook of his neck, absorbing the buzzes.* I would miss you.

BZ: ... gay. *kisses at the side of his head, squeezing him tighter.*

BZ: we'll get it worked out, ruru.

CI: I know... Unfortunately, you're contagious. *grins and gently nibbles the chub. Yum.*

BZ: hrrrkk. *wheezes until the giggles UNLEASH.* fuckin' RUDE.

CI: Isn't it??????????? I should have taken extra precautions before handling you. *peck peck, he steals some smooches*

BZ: FOOLIZH. eheheheh. *gets his revenge by holding ruleus' face in his hands and pressing a big kiss right on his fishy lips.* <3

CI: *BLUH, only not really. Citrin is really actually the best. He meets Citrin's big smooch with a bigger smooch from himself. Mwwwaaah.* I did this to myself. *muffled*

BZ: yep... now u gotta zuffer the conzequencez... *leans into him with all his fat weight so they're lying down again.*

CI: *is thoroughly squished under Citrin's GIRTH.* Should I die, tell them all I died as I lived. *purring from somewhere*

BZ: yez... zmothered betwixt peach cheekz.... *snnrrkks before dragging his kisses down towards his fin and then to his neck.*

CI: *ends up giggling, squirming from under Citrin* That TICKLES-- oh. Sorry.

CI: (Your dad.)

BZ: yez zhhhhh. *nibbles on him.* don't wake daddy. *SNRK.*

CI: That's difficult to do when you are being so... (Ticklish.) *paps him on the butt.*

BZ: yeah?? it ticklez in ur tummy?? >;) *he's papped... but it only makes him STRONGER. nibbles at his collar bone now. a frisky peach.*

CI: *SNORTS and ends up huffing about the rascally teeth prickling his collar. His hand comes up to stroke into the fluff of Citrin's hair instead.* In a particular kind of way, yes. Hmmm. *hums as if thinking.*

CI: We shouldn't get too distracted.

BZ: *buzzes softly...* why not? we can get diztracted for a LITTLE while...

CI: *laughs, scritching at his hair* I could compose, at very least, a small dramatic essay for you to ignore about all the reasons why we /shouldn't/ get "distracted" in your dads' house. But I also think I should tell you about...

CI: Sileas. And him wanting to matrimonialize our quadrant.

BZ: *peeks up at him but... doesn't really look surprised. he just rests his chin on ruleus' chest.* zo he went through with it, huh??

BZ: eheheh... he told me he waz going to. er, or that he WANTED to. but he waz being a dork about it...

BZ: like dur citrin do you think i zhould?? and i'm like bruh.

CI: *Exhales in relief, glad that at least Citrin knew about it. He purrs low in the backburner of his throat.* So he had the maturity and foresight enough for THAT at least. He's really bad with this kind of thing... when it comes down to it.

CI: It's another huge shame because I would not like his dumb baby butt feelings to get in the way of my relationship with you. Or any of our other corresponding relationships. *wrinkles his nose* He and Ananya greatly need an auspistice.

BZ: TELL me about it... but who iz ztrong enough for the tazk... eheheh. *nuzzles to his chest.*

BZ: ... i did really appreciate him talking to me. um... i'm not alwayz...

BZ: really zure where i ztand? er... idk. quadrant ztuff iz confuzing, you know? but when he came at me talking about that and rezpecting my input about you guyz and you going to lauctiz it really... helped clear up zome of my doubtz, i guezz.

BZ: he'z DUMB but at leazt he carez enough about you to look out for me too. and include me in all thiz.

CI: *Lip juts out, distressed by the idea of Citrin still having doubts about things... but ultimately, he puts it to rest.* I've always wanted you included.

BZ: i know... i'm juzt-- DUMB TOO... *looks guilty*

BZ: and i get confuzed.

CI: Citrin... You're not dumb for needing reasshorance. 8(

CI: You are an important part of the reason I would like to move to Lauctis. So the two of us can have a chance at augmenting all the GOOD we can do. Between ourselves...

CI: You inspire me a lot of the time.

BZ: ... *smiles at him bashfully.* yeah? eheh...

BZ: you too...

BZ: i wouldn't have even thought about moving... and i definitely wouldn't have motivated myzelf to get work if i wazn't... thinking about the kind of future i'd get to have with you if i did...

CI: *Citrin's honest bashful smiles should be bottled and kept away for rainy days. Ruleus is so smitten. He clears some hair out of his face.* There's plenty of time to figure it out.

CI: But I do want to figure it out. *takes up his hands and squeezes, nuzzling at his forehead.* No matter how long it takes.

BZ: *holds ruleus' hands tight, so relieved he feels like he might cry, his throat restricting and making his giggles rattle out hoarsely.* eheheh... me too...

BZ: i love you, ruleuz.

CI: *The words warm deep down in his bloodpusher and he's sure he's going to carry them for all of time. Ruleus's purrs roll anew.* I love you too, you silly peach. *murmurs, pecking a cool kiss right to his nose.*

BZ: no ur zilly... *catches him up in more kisses, humming against his lips.*

BZ: ... you zure we can't get diztracted juzt a little...

CI: It's tempting... but-- *he lingers, drawn into his warmth. His inviting softness. Flicks a fin remembering his trail of thought.*

CI: ...

CI: I can hear your dad snoring all the way over here. 8/

BZ: ... yeah that iz kind of a turn off...

BZ: BUT LATER.

BZ: you're gettin' it.

CI: Oh... *goes wall-eyed a little bit.* You know I never do get used to how plainly you put things.

BZ: GOOD. it makez it more fun for me when you're fluztered every time.>;)

CI: Whale how do you EXPECT me to act?? *HUFFS* You...

CI: Fluster me. 8(

BZ: FAIR. there really iz no other way to rezpond... i mean... LOOK AT ME!!