#neither brave enough to admit you need her nor brave enough to let her go. and it sucks because all beth wants is for rick to like. not be

[vampiromano]

“do you want me in your life or not?”

GEE I DON'T FUCKING KNOW and neither does he he's pathetic

[dalliancekay]

Aziraphale, misogyny and the female character treatment

I don't know if anyone wrote a post about this but I see from time to time comments to this end - that Aziraphale is treated like the female leads in films often are, obviously especially romantic films. So I'm gonna try to point how I see this. I welcome further insights of course.

Say we take a basic premise of a romantic film: A girl is wooed by a bad boy for example. And she is a good girl, from a good, proper family and everything so she refuses his advances. This goes on through his various ploys to entertain and romance her, do things for her etc etc and frustrates us as the audience because we can see the bad boy is actually good, her family is oppressive and holding her back and that she (deep down) cares for him (if only she was brave enough to admit it to herself) and so we want her to open her eyes and say she is actually in love with him cos her life will be so much better should she (finally) give in and run away with him.

Familiar? Reasons Aziraphale is not her and the analogy does not fit (but that I so often see in metas and takes about her):

Aziraphale always knew her family is shit. Or at least longer than Crowley did. She was already anxious in Before the Beginning about what she thought Angel!Crowley could and could not say or do without getting into trouble.

She knows Crowley is good. She never doubted him. Whatever he says or does or pretends to do or must do for his job. Aziraphale knows he's inherently good and would always do good if he can.

She knows she's in love - I mean we can argue about when each realised this and also when each realised the other loves them back just as fiercely, but they both know. And they both love. And they both long to be together. Aziraphale is not ashamed of her feelings nor hiding or suppressing them for fear they are wrong or immoral or other BS like that.

Aziraphale doesn't need to overcome her love for her family/employer and finally make the leap to be with Crowley. They simply can't leave their bosses without punishment. Neither of them. They live in a dictatorship with nowhere to go. And just because Crowley experienced both sides, doesn't give him some huge insight that Aziraphale completely lacks. Both places are awful. Their separation isn’t about fear of societal judgment (or Aziraphale's unwillingness to give up Heaven, being seen as good, being an angel - and to what end, to Fall? I really don't know what takes like this want from her, it would not work anyway), it’s about survival in a system that won’t let them be together.

Aziraphale doesn't want to change Crowley. She never did. She asked for Crowley to come to Heaven as an angel because that was THE ONLY option she had for them to be together in any capacity at that point. It was NOT an attempt to “fix” him—it was a desperate bid for a way they could be together at all.

One thing I don't see as much anymore is the call for Aziraphale to change. Obviously she's pretty but she would be prettier if she lost those century old clothes maybe and started listening to something made after 1950? Be more cool to match Crowley? Less stuffy?

These kind of film premises are already pointless, offensive and make me roll my eyes, but to stick them all over Aziraphale and huff cos she doesn't do what the clever sexy man in dark clothes and sunglasses says she should - well that makes me angry.

And so do takes and mischaracterisations that ignore Aziraphale as silly, her worries as pointless, sometimes excessive - maybe she's just hysterical, you know? The one time she shows more emotion, in F15, she is so often completely ignored in her obvious distress just because Crowley is trying to confess his love at the same time and seemingly 'not getting through,' because Aziraphale is not reacting the way everyone expects. So many takes that always assume Crowley is right, no matter what. Even when he calls Aziraphale an idiot. If Crowley says that, it must be true. No matter that the book spells out in Terry's voice that the angel is extremely clever.

Aziraphale’s charm lies in her kindness, her love for books and knowledge, her whimsy, and her quiet courage. These qualities don’t make her naive—they make her resilient. She often hides how she truly feels, hides her grief, her pain, her true desires, hides what she really thinks; always always to protect herself and her beloved. She is often forced to say stuff she doesn't mean. Again. To keep the one she loves and their fragile relationship safe. But where people seem to catch on with that on Crowley's side, they don't with Aziraphale. She is fierce when pushed and will defend the defenceless (humans) and the ones she loves (Crowley) to her last breath (whether she needs to breathe is irrelevant right now okay).

She loves her bookshop. She built this home, full of knowledge for herself and her demon and you can take this HC from my cold hands. That she was forced to leave it, only emphasises how little choice she had in Final 15. Good Omens has two main, equal characters; who are both gorgeous and complex and deep and neither is right or wrong or in need of saving or learning some huge lesson to get to their goal and be together. What needs to change is the world, the system they live in. And they will change it.

Just look at her!! Anyway. I love her. P.S. Just to add, many, many (if not all) bad takes on Aziraphale are also bad takes on Crowley. They mischaracterise and misunderstand just how deeply and unconditionally he loves Aziraphale. How he adores her and understands and accepts her just as she is. He does not expect or want Aziraphale to change in any way. He knows why they are not together. And it's not Aziraphale's fault, it's because of circumstances, not because of her choices. Crowley would never ever want Aziraphale to suffer, he wouldn't expect her to come back from Heaven saying how sorry she is for what happened, how stupid and blind she was and how he was always right. That's just not going to happen. ------------------------------------------ @tenok I simply must highlight the awesomeness you put in hashtags!! EVERYBODY please read:

Thank you sm for this!!

[arziaisfrench]

▪︎ IPKKND Ep 125 : Fools refusing to admit they are in love

Arnav destroys the flowers/plants he has grown. Flowers/plants that he cherished with his affection, that grew with his patience, time, care and attention.

What he's really doing here is cutting all ties with his hope, his expectation for happiness he had hoped to have with Khushi.

-Why are you cutting the plants? -What I do, how it matters to you? "How dare you to ask me how getting engage to another man matters to me? You want to still play this game? Fine, watch me!"😬

-Why are you talking like this? Khushi understands the shade he just thrown at her here. "Why are you mad at me? You didn't want our feelings. You pushed me away so violently. You asked another woman to marry you. So, in what right, you can be this mad ?!"

-You're not even paying attention in what I do, how it matters to you?"You ignored every signal I sent to you, every attempt I made to fix what I've done ! Did you see the look in my eyes when I gave you the ring? Didn't you see the look in my eyes when when I bandaged your finger?! Confess already, tell me you care. Tell me you love me. Tell me only I matter in your heart!"

Lavanya is definitely asking Arnav if he's excited for their marriage in front of Khushi on purpose. She has doubts about their bond since quite a long time, since the moment he went downstairs when Khushi asked him to.

"In your eyes, there is neither fear, nor happiness." He only shows fears and happiness to Khushi. Only her.

He can't show Anjali how he can be scared, he knows how insecure she feels. And he can't show how he can be happy to his sister either because she simply can't make him happy. Only Khushi can.

"Everything can't be determined just by looking at eyes Lavanya." He's making an insinuation to Khushi right now, he's letting her know that he's waiting for her confession. He doesn't want to understand her feelings by the emotions he can read in her eyes. He needs words.

"If it's something you can't see, it doesn't mean it's not there." "You asked me how it matters. If you couldn't read the truth in my eyes, it doesn't mean I don't care. I care Khushi, so much."

"I'm very happy" Once again he uses Lavanaya. He answered her question just to throw insinuations to Khushi. He swallows his saliva with difficulty, he must feel ashamed to lie this way just for his own agenda.

He lied about his happiness just to hurt Khushi back. She will tell him soon how happy she is with her fiance too to hurt him. And for both, it works. They are devastated to hear it.

With tears in his eyes, Arnav wanted to prove that he could congratulates her on her engagement unlike her. But when her fiance calls her, all the strength he gathered to hurt her with his words crumbles.

Seeing her answering her fiance's call in front of him destroyed him from the inside instantly.

Both feel so broken, exhausted and helpless. You can really sense the gloomy and sorrowful energy from their eyes. Barun and Sanaya perfs are incredible yet again. "Why can we hold feelings from one another but can't be brave enough to confess our feelings. Why? Why is it so hard to show my heart to you when I love you so much."

"Everyone seems to be happy for your marriage, but you." He nocited how sad she looks, he knows it's because of her engagement, because of him, because of what's happening to their relationship, about the ineluctable drift between them. Here, he's also talking about him, another hint to let her know about what he really feels about his own marriage to Lavanya.

At this point, he knows her marriage isn't something she did out of love. There must be something going on that forced her to.

In the pain in his eyes, you can read a bittersweet satisfaction to know his Khushi isn't loving any other man.

[soulmate-game]

Hawkmoth was a bitch, and Marinette meant that with every fiber of her soul. Fu was also a bitch, and Marinette actually had good memories of the guy. Not many, but she had some. The fact that the guy got two ten-year-olds to become super heroes and fight a supervillain for him kinda soured those memories, though. But with Chat Noir not allowed to leave his house? Yeah, even as young as they were it only took about a year to find out who HawkMoth was and another year to take him down.

Except, that left Marinette alone. The final battle took her mom away, and Chat had to move out of Paris after his dad was arrested. Luckily Jagged allowed her and her papa to move into his house in Gotham, and everything was…

Well, it was okay. For about a month.

Then her dad was gone too, and she had no way to talk to Jagged, and the police were scaring her—

Yeah, that was the basic order of events that led to where she was now. Pushing fourteen years old, ex-superhero, protector of a magical box of gods, stealing the tires off of a very nice motorcycle.

Marinette was tempted to just take the whole thing, she loved bikes and knew she could drive it. But the thing had more security than she knew what to do with, and the fact that it belonged to Red Hood… she didn’t want to deal with trackers today, thanks. So the tires it was.

Should she maybe care more about the fact that she was stealing from a vigilante with a violent streak? Maybe. Did she? Hell no. For all she knew, maybe Red Hood was a bitch too. (Yes, she was still learning English slang. She was fluent by educational standards, but learning how to curse in a foreign language was fun and she still had a little bit to go. Her few street friends were very happy to help).

A shadow dropped down in front of her, and Marinette’s hero instincts kicked in. The tire iron she was using cut through the air, slamming right into the side of Red Hood’s knee.

—*—*—*—*—*

“Hood,” Batman’s voice grumbled over the comms, instantly grabbing the attention of everyone else who was on the comms. It wasn’t as gruff as he usually sounded, in fact it almost sounded like… he was trying not to laugh?

“Did you get gassed by Joker?” Dick asked before Jason got a chance to respond. “Need backup?”

“No,” Batman responded, sounding a little more composed. “Not a rogue. But Hood, I need you to join me at my location as soon as possible.”

Finally getting the chance to talk, Jason responded a little warily; “Sure, B. Wait,” he blinked at the location that was sent to him. “Isn’t that where my bike is parked?”

Batman didn’t respond at first, only the sound of labored breathing— again, as if he was trying not to laugh. “Just get here, Hood.”

Sighing, but not too mad since the night had been fairly quiet so far, Jason decided to humor the old man and head over. When he could see the cape-clad back of Batman, he easily leapt over the last roof and sauntered over.

“Okay, B,” he had his thumbs tucked in his pockets as he drawled. “What’s the issue?”

Batman was grinning. As in, actually showing amusement. And he just pointed down, straight at Hood’s bike.

Jason rolled his eyes under his helmet, turning to look. At first he didn’t see anything amiss, until he saw movement and looked harder. Oh. Oh, holy shit.

“Is that a kid?”

“Yep,” Batman’s grin grew.

“Is she… stealing my tires?” Hood was so, so glad he wore a helmet that hid his expression. Because… wow.

“Yep,” Batman finally lost his composure, chuckling. “This seems like Karma, don’t you think?”

“And you just watched her so you could rub it in,” Jason groaned, throwing his head back in exasperation. Of course he would. Nobody knew it (except the other heroes who knew him) but Batman was a petty little jerk when he wanted to be. He bought the whole Daily Planet just to spite Clark, for crying out loud.

“Don’t adopt her,” Batman said as he stood up, patting Red Hood’s shoulder. “It looks like she’s almost done.”

“Shit,” Jason hissed, looking down to see that she was, actually, very close to being done. She had already had one tire completely free by the time he had arrived, and now she was only seconds away from getting the other one completely free.

He took a quick assessment— she was tiny, and really thin. Definitely a street kid, he thought, though he didn’t recognize her. He knew most of the street kids that stole to get by, nowadays, which meant she must have been fairly new. But even though she seemed to know what she was doing, her small frame made her take longer unscrewing the tires than it normally would have taken. Sure that she wasn’t a threat by any stretch of the imagination, he jumped down. His plan had been to startle her a little by showing up out of nowhere, but he didn’t want to scare her too badly. Just make her jump a little.

But he had underestimated her, it seemed. Without wasting a second, she jumped up and swung her tire iron at his knee. He cursed, she was a lot faster than her had been expecting. He was able to move so that the weapon only clipped the side of his knee, his knee pad thankfully taking the worst of it. She still hit hard enough to make him stumble and hiss in pain though, which was an accomplishment.

That’s when she abandoned her weapon and her tires, darting to try and escape only for Batman to drop down and block her escape. Though really, it was the grin Batman had that scared the girl most of all, apparently, making her slowly back away from him.

“Please stop smiling,” she begged with a faint French accent to her words. “It is not natural.”

That made Red Hood laugh, already recovered and right behind her. He plopped a gloved hand on her head.

“I know, it’s creepy right?” He joked. “What’cha doin’ stealing my tires, kid? I kinda need them to drive anywhere,” he was careful to keep his voice light and devoid of any anger. He wasn’t really upset, all told. It would be hypocritical of him if he was.

She looked between the two vigilantes for a moment, clear intelligence behind those bright blue eyes as she seemed to consider something. Suddenly she pulled away from Red Hood and stepped away from his reach, straightening up and trying to look tall.

“My name is Marinette Dupain-Cheng,” she said as firmly as she could. “My father was Tom Dupain, he was killed in a mugging three months ago. We were living in a house that our family friend leant to us after my mother’s death six months ago, and we moved here from Paris. I haven’t been able to contact him, and the police… I don’t trust them,” she admitted, clearly seeing this as the chance she had been waiting for. “I have been living on the streets since my father died. I am sorry for trying to steal your tires, Monsieur Red Hood. But it was a risk I had to take.”

“Did you expect us to catch you?” He asked, crossing his arms as he re-evaluated the girl. She was a lot stronger than he had assumed earlier, both physically and mentally. She seesawed her hand to indicate ‘kinda’.

“Even if you didn’t, I could make good money off your tires,” she justified with a shrug. “To me, I would win either way.”

“Who is your family friend? Can he help you now, take you in?” Batman asked, moving forward and kneeling down to be closer to Marinette’s height. Neither he nor Jason had missed the part where she was an orphan, but they had expected that considering what they had caught her doing. And they both knew that she wasn’t likely to take any apologies they tried to offer very well. It was best not to show pity, or she might get angry.

Marinette frowned. “... Our family friend is Jagged Stone. He lets me call him Uncle Jagged,” she told them, clearly expecting the disbelieving grunts they gave. “I mean it! You can call him, he might even be looking for me! I—“

“We know,” Hood assured her, now kneeling down as well. Man, she was short. “Calm down, we know you’re telling the truth. Jagged has made several public announcements about his missing honorary niece, we just didn’t recognize your name right away. And Jagged doesn’t have access to very many pictures of you, those he does have the Mayor isn’t allowing him to show because that spineless jackass—“

“Language, Hood.”

“—Cares more about keeping bad press off the air than finding a kid, even if it’s a world famous rockstar who’s asking. That’s probably why you haven’t heard anything, the mayor’s keeping it off the radio and not many reporters are brave enough to take the story and get on his bad side.”

“Oh…” Marinette took a deep breath, fighting the tears that were threatening to rise up. “He has been looking…” she sniffled, curling in on herself a little. “Can you take me to him?”

“I think we can do that,” Batman agreed, standing up. “I’ll contact him. Red Hood, can you handle everything here until I give you a place to meet up with Jagged Stone?”

Jason nodded. “No problem, B. Come on, little rabid pixie. Step one of gettin’ you back to your uncle is to help me fix my bike back up.”

Marinette sighed, shoulders dropping. “All my hard work, undone…” she playfully complained. But in the end she didn’t argue or fight against it, she just sat down and helped him reattach his tires.

All the while, Jason’s family kept teasing him over the comms. Clearly they were also thoroughly amused by the cosmic display of karma.

“...Monsieur Hood,” Marinette asked once they were done repairing the motorcycle and he had given her his too-big extra helmet. He tilted his head a bit to show he was listening. She squirmed. “Can… can we stop by my hideout? I have something really important I have to get.”

Jason smiles gently under his mask. She might not have been a street kid for very long, but she really did bring back some memories for him. He got on his bike and held a hand out to her.

“Sure thing kid. Wanna grab something to eat after? Can’t have a reunion on an empty stomach.”

She gave him a lopsided smile— not quite overjoyed, but definitely hopeful and thankful. Maybe this was the end of her streak of bad luck, she could only hope.

“Only if you don’t mind, Monsieur Hood,” she agreed before taking his hand and letting him help her onto the bike.

“No skin off my back, pixie,” he assured her. Then they were off. He followed her directions until they got to an abandoned building about three miles away, not in a good part of town at all but at least not in crime alley. Marinette easily led him through the building, skirting around other piles of ratty blankets and up broken stairs until they got to the badly-maintained top floor. She led him over to an almost invisible door in the concrete wall that pulled out to reveal what was probably a broom closet once upon a time. It was crowded with what looked like junk and empty boxes, along with a few blankets and two or three changes of clothes that were clearly her’s. A few belongings scattered around— a book, a small pink purse, and… Marinette came out of the pile of mess holding what had clearly been a very carefully hidden box. She also grabbed the purse and slung it over her shoulder, but didn’t seem worried about anything else.

Jason frowned at the box. It wasn’t that big, but it was clearly made of old wood. There were intricate carvings that were painted pink, in a symbol that was itching at the back of his mind. He recognized that symbol, but from where?

“Ready to go, kid?” He asked as he thought about it, getting a nod from Marinette. Twenty minutes later they were at a Batburger, sitting in a shaded booth that couldn’t be seen from the street.

She never let the box out of her sight. She kept it on the seat next to her, and Jason noticed that she tried to keep one hand on it at all times. But when she spoke, now her French accent stood out to him even more than before. But why—?

And then it clicked. Paris. Hawkmoth. Ladybug, Chat Noir, magic artifacts called Miraculous. Wonder Woman had raised a fuss when the heroes disappeared, declaring that something was wrong but she couldn’t put her finger on what. Then the magic users they trusted were called in, and returned from Paris with the grim news that the former Guardian of those artifacts had activated a failsafe and passed the guardianship on to someone else while erasing his own memories at the same time. But nobody knew who he could have passed it on to, so Batman had been given the green light to do all the research he and his team could into the Miraculous box to try and help track it down.

And here it was. The carvings were in pink now, which might have been the “cosmetic change” that Constantine had mentioned might happen when the box changed guardians. He had found the box full of super powerful magical artifacts… in the hands of a newly orphaned street kid who couldn’t have been older than fourteen at best.

What the hell?

“...” Red hood reached into his pocket and pulled out an old receipt and a sharpie. He scrawled on the back of the receipt and handed to Marinette. The girl was halfway into a bite of her burger when he did, and blinked at him owlishly before swallowing and cautiously reaching out to grab it. She frowned at the numbers scrawled there.

“What’s this?” She asked.

“My contact info,” he explained. “I won’t ask questions about why you have that box,” he watched her instantly stiffen but continued as casually as he could; “but it doesn’t matter. You can call me if you ever need help with anything, kid. Help with that box, help if you get in trouble in Gotham again, or even if you’re having a bad day. You can call me for whatever, got it? I don’t care if you think it’s stupid, if you can’t talk to anyone else in your life you can always call or text me and I’ll do whatever I can. Got it?”

“...” Marinette sniffled for a second and looked down at the table in silence for a second. “... what if I want your motorcycle?” she joked, but the watery tone of her voice gave her away.

Jason laughed, patting her head. “I need my bike, but we can talk about getting you your own once you are old enough to get a license. You almost done? Bats says that Jagged is ready to meet you, I can take you to him right now.”

“Yeah, lets go!” she was newly energized and shoved the last bite of burger into her mouth greedily. “And Red Hood?” She asked as they headed out to where he had parked.

“Yeah, kid?”

“Thanks.”

—*—*—*—*—*

Permanent tag list (I remembered it this time!)

@rosalineandrosemary @neakco @justanotherfanficlovinbitch @trippingovermyfeet @certainmuffinbagelcalzone @bigpicklebananatree @fantasylover-92 @prongs-flowers @jumpingjoy82 @prettylittlebutterflie @queenz-z @literaryhiraeth @waffelyunsure @deathssilentapproach-blog @waiting247 @theirlmikan @unoriginalmess

[alatusxiaoo]

START.

main menu. spring playlist. prologue.

chapter one, spring. (when the flowers bloom.)

featuring xiao + thoma.

youth — a crossroad where storm and stress, already weathered in motion or be.

a touch worldly-wise but still dewy-eyed, the springtime of life and we are called…

“y/n!��

youth.

in this effervescent season, our spring blooms.

the splendid flowers, warm breeze, and sweet fragrance of spring — giddy from all these…we cried, laughed and at times fought over trivial matters,

unaware that this warmth did not come equally to all.

and therefore, the cold was felt all the more bitterly, by those that it did not reach.

| ACT 1: I DON’T LOVE YOU ANYMORE. | THOMA.

“so,” you awkwardly clear your throat, rocking back and forth on the balls of your feet, as you hesitantly made the brave decision to glance over to your oddly silent friend. “you never told me you liked him.”

a snort escapes seonhui’s lips, ensuing the raise of a skeptical eyebrow at your words. “does it really matter? look, just give the act up and admit that you like thoma.”

“i told you, i like xiao.” you sigh once more in exasperation, concealing your quivering fingers behind firmly folded arms. “and i can’t believe you weren’t planning on telling me that you liked thoma, had it not been for that stupid game of truth or dare.”

“what were you expecting me to do?” she grumbled beneath her breath, averting her eyes away from your disappointed ones. “you both look good together — i don’t know why you’re so foolishly insistent on claiming you like that xiao guy, who’s insolence clearly rivals his own tiny stature.”

“to be fair, he was probably only rude because you did call him tiny as fuck.” you snicker teasingly in hopes of lightening the mood — however it doesn’t do much to ease neither the uncomfortable tension, nor her guarded suspicion trained on you.

“…you think we won’t be friends anymore if you date him, huh?” seonhui mumbles in contemplation, and you slightly flinch at her undeniably accurate words. the little gesture does not go unnoticed by the girl, and all she does is shake her head at the seemingly insane notion of it. “look, i honestly don’t care either way. date thoma or not, like xiao or not — what matters is that you tell me you're not lying right now just to reassure me,” her eyes sharpen with an uncharacteristically stern gaze. “or else i'll really get mad at you.”

seonhui’s serious…you anxiously think to yourself, softly bobbing your head, despite the fact that you knew terribly well you were simply trying to accomplish the opposite to make her feel better. “it’s real. i do like him.”

the silence is painfully deafening — and it was difficult to blatantly ignore the scrutinizing stare boring holes at you, as a chill hastily scamper across your skin, leaving goosebumps in its wake.

“…fine, whatever.” she eventually scoffs with a wave of her hand — a sign that she had decided to let it go…for now — and it literally takes every single fiber in you to not exhale a deep breath in utmost relief. “anyway enough about that, we should probably head back before the bell rings.”

for the rest of the day, you feel an overwhelming wave of guilt crash upon your hunched shoulders, somewhat comparable to a pesky itch that constantly tingled to make its trivial presence known. it leaves you sleepless later during the chilly evening, and paints dark circles in the spaces beneath your eyes the next day, as you begrudgingly tread your way down to the school premises while stifling a haggard yawn.

now, all you needed to do was avoid thoma to make your alibi look real…and almost right on cue, a soft flurry of taps politely rumble from over your shoulder. you turn around to be greeted by the intimate sight of none other than thoma sporting an irrefutably attractive grin, and a lollipop stick lodged between rose-colored lips. “morning, y/n!”

you’re surprised by his presence and barely manage to greet him back, when warm hands abruptly take yours within its tender possession, as he shyly presses a similar strawberry confection in your grasp. “here, maybe this will boost your energy.”

“oh, thank you.” your face flushes at the strangely affectionate gesture, as you carefully unwrap the candy before sliding it into your mouth — staring over at the boy as he bashfully denies tossed comments and rumors from schoolmates wondering if he had asked you out with the little offered lollipop.

it’s sweet — you quietly think to yourself with odd bitterness, as the flavors gradually permeate all throughout your hazy senses — too sweet.

“i think,” came your guilty and hushed voice that shifts thoma’s attention over to your avoiding gaze. “that maybe you should find someone better to tutor you.”

it doesn’t take a genius to see his expression falter slightly at your words, when you could already feel the strained air and a lump stuck at the back of your throat. “sure, um…can i at least ask why?”

| what should you tell thoma? | choices: (a) you’re presently struggling with a tight schedule, (b) you don’t want others to get the wrong idea. [NOTE, both choices result in the unlocking of a hidden route.]

| option (a), no effect [thoma] | “it’s just…i’ve just been a bit too busy lately,” your lips twist into a breezy smile while lying through gritted teeth, studying the incomprehensible countenance plastered across his defined features. “you know, with midterms coming up and all.”

“right!” thoma snaps his fingers in abrupt realization. “well, i can’t exactly refrain the top student from acing the test again.” he grins cheekily, and you blush at the generous compliment. “alright well, i’ll try not to distract you too much.”

“i’m sure you can find someone better to help you though.” you hastily reassure. “and you’re really smart too! you’ll do great on the test.”

“thanks! i’ll work hard on it.” he nods with more confidence. “i’ll see you after midterms?”

“uh…okay, yeah.” you give him one last smile before eventually slithering through the crowd of students, rendering the scenario of you meeting him again after midterms as a highly debatable matter.

| option (b), -1 affection [thoma] | “i don’t want others to get the wrong idea….about us.” you gingerly admit, anxiously digging your trembling fingers into your palms. “while i’d really like to help you out, it just makes me feel a bit uncomfortable.”

“n-no, that’s completely fine!” he exclaims hurriedly, cheeks flushing at your sudden response. “i-um…i’m sorry if you’ve felt that way.” thoma sighs in an embarrassed manner, nodding in acknowledgment at your answer. “and i suppose the others do say strange things about us…but don’t worry, i’ll try to get everyone else to drop it!” he grins with a light tilt of his head, patting your shoulder in an attempt to cheer you up. “just…make sure to focus on midterms, and leave this one to me.”

“i’m relieved you understand.” you anxiously chew on the candy, wondering if you began imagining things or the taste had bizarrely gotten sour. “anyway, you should head off first.” he smiles, giving you some space to walk through the increased crowd of students that began to swarm around the school entrance. “i’ll uh…see you soon?”

“…sure.” came your uncertain response with an awkward curve of your lips, before you slowly trudged forth into the property without daring to look back at him.

however, even after midterms had passed, you desperately tried to avoid running into him on your normal corridor routes, in the cafeteria while waiting in line, or use an excuse to head to the bathroom when you noticed thoma walking over to you. and perhaps it was rude, really — but you had to maintain the facade, or else seonhui would never let you live freely with it!

then, on a fateful afternoon — when the chirping of the birds and rustling of the leaves echoed throughout a vacated classroom, with the exemption of the unfortunately selected group of students left behind to clean the confined area for the month, everything began to change as soon as the rest had left to abandon you and xiao with the final duty of mopping around the room.

i mean, how could such a coincidence allow itself to happen? — you thought to yourself in bewilderment after two weeks of executing the declared arrangement, attentively sweeping a dusty corner behind the cabinets, before finally moving on to the last stretch of the room. you proceed to continue scrubbing forward with one last burst of energy, and soon collide with the other boy’s cleaning mop — a sign that you had both finished the last bit of work before heading home.

“we met!” you exclaim in evident jubilation, absentmindedly staring down at the mops heads connected together, while remaining oblivious to the way xiao was looking over at you. “great job today!”

“you seem like you’re in a good mood.” he suddenly remarks, and your eyes swiftly raise to meet his striking amber ones. “do i?” you timidly respond, a bit puzzled at his peculiar inquiry. “well, the weather is quite pleasant today.”

the sheer fabric of the white curtains flutter from the balmy breeze, and coruscating rays of sunlight filter through the transparent windows. beneath the rapture blue-ethers and tufty verdant thickets blistering in soaked warmth, came the effervescent season of another kind of spring — tepid and fleeting, fragrant and sweet, setting the softest hearts aflutter as it blossoms amidst sweeping daisies and dandelions.

“y/n l/n...i thought you said you liked me. ”

| YOU HAVE COMPLETED ACT 1! |

[NOW UNLOCKING: ACT 1, THOMA’S HIDDEN ROUTE — the week before cleaning with xiao]

“can we talk now?”

you stiffen when you eventually reach the top of an exhausting flight of stairs — stumbling across thoma calmly leaning against a windowsill by a vacant corridor. “you’ve made it quite the challenge to get you alone, you know?” he teases jokingly, a lopsided grin contorting across his lips.

you’re aware there’s no backing out of this inevitable confrontation now, so you’re forced to walk forward and gingerly approach the friendly boy. “sorry about that. i’ve been preoccupied with…other things.” you swallow, before cautiously reaching his side. “it’s past dismissal though, why are you still here?”

thoma sheepishly rubs the back of his head, giving you the impression that he was somehow hesitant and unsure of how to phrase his next sentences. “i wanted to…apologize.”

apologize? you were the one who was supposed to say sorry for avoiding him, but you waited for him to finish talking instead. “well, i’ve been trying to find the right timing for a while now, so i’m sorry if it’s a bit late.” his bashful gaze darts away from you, clearing his throat with a tricky cough. “and i think i made you uncomfortable, because you know right?” you watch as his face seems to glow a light shade of pink. “that i like you.”

oh no. you can feel your heart violently thump at the sudden confession of it. “o-or i must have put more pressure on you by admitting that…” he mumbles unconsciously to himself, chastising the words that carelessly fell out of his mouth. “but what i mean is…i feel like things got awkward between us because of me. it’s been weighing on my mind ever since i noticed that you seemed to be avoiding me.”

viridescent irises flicker over to you. “although, i’d understand if you don’t want to anymore, but if it’s alright with you…can we still be friends?”

this is what i was trying to accomplish — “no, i’d really appreciate that!” you hastily respond, a wide and genuine smile twisting across your face, as you reached out to clasp his hand in an amicable manner. “thank you for saying this.” — but for some reason, i was having mixed feelings about it.

| ACT 2: OUT LIKE A LIGHT. | XIAO.

“l-like you?! me?!”you exclaim in horror, choking on your own saliva as you shriek out loud. on the other hand, xiao remains unfazed, as he raises an eyebrow over at you. “what, you’re denying it then? you were the one who admitted it by the staircase last week.” your cheeks begin to redden at the distant memory of it, and the hue worsens when the boy mimics your foolish self from back then. “you said ‘i told you, i like xiao.’, didn’t you?”

“n-no, that’s not it!” you hurriedly shake your head, coughing frantically from embarrassment knowing that he had heard you that day. “i had my…personal reasons for saying that.”

“oh? like what then?”

your legs begin to grow wobbly and you pull out one of the chairs to temporarily settle down, hesitant before eventually briefing him on the hapless crisis you’ve unintentionally found yourself entwined in. you’re not entirely certain why you’re telling him all this, and the more you ramble about these pathetic circumstances — the more you feel guilty about the fact that you’ve definitely offended him worse than seonhui did now, and that he probably couldn’t care less about the events transpiring in your life.

“what did you expect to achieve by lying?” xiao then questions once you’ve finished speaking. “you don’t care if thoma ends up dating someone else? you’d willingly back down on your feelings for your own friend?”

“ah well…if it turns out that way, i suppose so.” you muse while thoughtlessly fiddling with the frayed strands of your uniform skirt. “either way, i don’t intend on dating someone my best friend has feelings for.”

“and you think she actually believes that bullshit lie?” he scoffs in curious disbelief. “i-well..i guess she has her suspicions too, but i try to push it anyway.” you defeatedly confess, sighing as you attempted to gather your hair in a neater updo rather than have it falling across your face. “i just wish this could be resolved soon.”

“want me to help you?” xiao unexpectedly asks, and you glance at him questionably. “what? with tying my hair? i can manage.”

“no, you idiot — that wasn’t what i meant.” his features scrunch up in disgust and with confound — whereas your cheeks redden in embarrassment since you had completely misread his intentions. “t-then, what were you talking about?”

“you don’t care what thoma thinks, you just need to convince seonhui right?” he leans against the cabinet, raising an eyebrow to confirm his speculations. “convince her? yeah, sure i suppose.”

“then it’s simple.” xiao tilts his head over at you, seemingly unconcerned and almost casual with his next few words. “just go out with me.”

your hair falls from your instinctively loosened grasp, as you gawk in perplexity at his unanticipated suggestion. “…what?”

“that midget will have no choice but to believe you if we’re dating.” he placidly shrugs — and the idea is so stupid that it almost seems fail-proof and ultimately reasonable enough to go through with it. “if we say we’re dating, what can they do? and then after a while, we can say we broke up.”

“b-but why?” you blurt out of incredulity, pointing in bewilderment at him. “you couldn’t possibly like me, why are you going so far to help me?”

“well, you don’t have to if you don’t want to. just think it over.” xiao merely replies, snatching the handle of his mop as he proceeds to head towards the janitor’s room to store the tool. “oh and…” he glances back over his shoulder. “the one who confesses, and the one who gets dumped when it ends, will be you.”

“what?!” oh, there is no way in hell i’d ever agree to it now!

the ludicrous proposal, however, lingers in the back of your mind for the rest of the day — despite your rationality desperately nitpicking at crumbs to refute its terribly preposterous nature. you could barely concentrate during the lessons in class, hardly recall how classes ended and you were already ambling through the rocky sidewalk, too apathetic to notice the violent efforts of seonhui flailing her limbs in your line of vision in an endeavor to garner your clearly divided attention. “y/n l/n!”

it takes a few more attempts for her to successfully achieve the objective of letting you snap out of your dazed trance, as you belatedly glance over at her with a drowsy smile. “sorry…i was overthinking something again. what were you saying?”

seonhui sighs with an agitated frown, frustratedly chewing on her lip before eventually mustering the courage to speak her mind. “i heard thoma talked to you this morning.” she soon mumbles, and you feel the surrounding air considerably tense between you and the shorter girl. you pause in your tracks and so does she — albeit standing a little further than where you had stopped on the pavement. “why did thoma do that? you both clearly like each other, so why are you still lying?”

“again, not lying.” you emphasize with a fatigued expression, swallowing your saliva and dubious with your ensuing choice of words. “you should have told me you liked him.”

“wrong.” seonhui seethed through gritted teeth, never once looking over her shoulder to glare at you. “you should have told me that you never liked him.” you quietly watch as her clutching grasp slowly tightens around her phone, and the unbearable tension begins to suffocate the both of you. “i hadn’t thought about confessing to anyone of my feelings…if only you had been clear about yours.”

seonhui likes him…a lot more than i had thought — a weighty truck of guilt rams into your crumbling sense of conscience, as you miserably gaze at her hunched figure, trying to comprehend the way she had been feeling all this time. “but i never planned of to be anything more than friends with thoma. so you…don’t have to worry.”

she finally turns over to you, and carelessly grabs your hand within her own possession. “you can get along with thoma just like you did before. i’ll be less heartbroken if you’re the one who dates him.”

“seonhui, i—” you begin cautiously, forcing down the bile that threatened to choke you. “really don’t have any feelings for thoma.”

and thus, the remainders of the day ends with the both of you bickering about an immature argument — and you’re quite certain that with how adamant you became, she wouldn’t attempt to ever bring it up again.

or at least…that’s what you tell yourself the next morning while arranging your dispersed books scattered around your desk, only to be greeted by a notification that seonhui would confess to thoma the real reason behind why your relationship together had suddenly become strained and awkward.

the alarming text almost immediately makes you stand up in horror, and an instinct shifts your gaze over at the familiar silhouette hidden away from the crowd of students packed inside the temperate classroom — tucked near the storage cabinets, and surrounded by the company of his otaku friends.

you gather the courage to sneak through the throng of classmates, biting your lip as you awkwardly approach him, whilst his friends simply stare in blatant astonishment at your unanticipated entrance. you offer them a civil smile, before leaning slightly to whisper in xiao’s ear.

“about the dating thing…” you mutter with darkened cheeks, unaware that his ears augmented into a redder hue from your close proximity. “we can say i was the one who confessed like you suggested, but um…wouldn’t it be better if the break-up be mutual instead?”

you’re incapable of listening to his next response, as a series of knowing cheers from a group of girls suddenly erupt from behind. “hey, something’s weird…what’s going on between you two?”

“nothing much, i just had to tell him something.” you beam lightly, however they remain clearly unconvinced by your bashful response. it’s only when a tall boy passes by the huddled students, that he begins to chide them about the mere fatuity of the absurd concept. “what are you guys even talking about? you know no one thinks that way about the both of them together.”

“maybe they should.” the deafening sound of a cabinet door slamming shut causes the commotion from the rest of the class to silence down, and shifts a swarm of inquisitive gazes over towards the quiet boy and you. “because starting from today, we're dating.”

sounds of remarks that carry utmost disbelief and stupefaction rumble throughout the confines of the walls, as the students gape in astonishment at what had recently and unexpectedly transpired near the cabinets. well, i suppose i should have already expected this — it takes everything in you to muster a fake expression of happiness at his verbalized declaration to everyone else — nevertheless, i still can’t actually believe this!

“WHAT?! HOW THE HELL DID THAT HAPPEN?!” you hear a shriek of disbelief arise from the entrance of the classroom, and all you can do is simply smile at your heaving best friend with a courteous morning greeting, despite the problematic and somewhat cringe-worthy situation. you can tell she’s ready to fire a myriad of questions at you — however at this time, the bell already rings to signal the following class, and all you can do is send an apologetic glance over at seonhui.

it isn’t easy to clear your mind after the previous events though — you could feel a familiar glare boring holes through the back of your head for the rest of the subject periods, and even after classes had ended for a 15 minute break, you were already cornered in a hurried instant by the girl presently demanding for answers. “y/n, you’d better tell me what’s going on right now.”

| what should you tell seonhui? | choices: (a) say that you were the one who confessed, (b) try to weasel your way out of the confrontation.

| option (a), +1 affection [xiao] | “ah, right.” you mumble with flushed cheeks, somewhat pressured by seonhui’s unwavering determination to get to the bottom of the very odd and uncharacteristic situation.

“actually,” you slightly raise your hand, ready to clarify all her pending doubts about the unforeseen news of your relationship. “i’m—”

| option (b), no effect [xiao] | “huh?” you question with confusion, perplexed upon her sudden attempt to aggressively approach you with the peculiar topic.

“don’t pretend not to know!” she exclaims with a fuming tone, angrily pointing over at the boy peacefully situated all the way across the room. “why the hell are you dating that rude gamer?!”

“i’m the one who confessed.” you hear xiao suddenly admit, despite being engrossed in his own world with the mobile game in his hands — completely ignoring the way his friends and everyone else in the class literally gawked at his evidently composed demeanor. “i started to like her after cleaning together.”

despite the flock of people beginning to question what you particularly liked about him — your eyes flicker over to his equanimous figure instead, thankful and quite indebted that he had rescued you from an uncomfortable profession of love.

“okay, fine. have it that way, then.” you hear seonhui grumble, as xiao’s eyes coincidentally meet yours and shares an indiscernible look contorted across his pale face. the warmth of mellow daylight trickles in from glass apertures stationed behind him — and the ticklish feeling in your heart of a sprinkled wonderland of burgeons…have merely began to bloom.

“let's see how much you like him, as far as your relationship goes.”

| YOU HAVE COMPLETED ACT 2! |

[NOW UNLOCKING: ACT 2, XIAO’S BONUS ROUTE — the first week of cleaning arrangements]

this is…way too quiet! — you awkwardly think to yourself, as you and your (unwillingly chosen) partner xiao, mop separate corners of the room in deafening silence, other than the occasional sounds of footsteps and moving of desks to the side. i should at least apologize on behalf of seonhui instead…then maybe it wouldn’t be so uncomfortable around here.

you hesitantly clear your throat first, testing out to see if he would react in some sort of way that could signal you to begin talking — but it’s like he’s the only person in the room! never once glancing over at you, never even flinching at the abrupt noise of your cough, nothing at all. “um…xiao, right?”

no response, again. but he pauses and looks at you this time, for the briefest of seconds, and perhaps you think it’s at least enough. “about seonhui the other day…swearing is sort of, a normal habit of hers. she probably — or scratch that, most definitely, offended you with those words…and i’m really sorry about that—”

“don’t be.” xiao suddenly interrupts in your sentences, before resuming right where he had left off in his cleaning. “she should be the one saying sorry in person. you’re just saying stuff you don’t really mean because you feel awkward that it’s just us two left here.”

your mouth hangs agape in astonishment, whereas his unfazed disposition never falters with every offensive (yet oddly accurate) choice and direction of words. “i’m not good at being fake and making small talk, so you don’t need to try either. let’s not waste time like this — i think it would be better for the both of us if we finish cleaning quietly, so we can get out of here faster.”

god, i know what he says is all true…but that doesn’t exactly change the fact that he’s such a —

“smart-ass.”

the room grows eerily silent, and it takes a moment to process why his golden-amber eyes are somehow back on yours, before the dawning consequences of the scenario eventually sinks in and you realize — you’ve said that out loud.

“s-sorry!” you hastily exclaim, slapping a hand on your mouth shut, berating yourself for being so careless and rude with your phrased thoughts. “i didn’t mean — oh gosh, i’m really sorry.”

“i didn’t mean that you should swear at me too.” xiao scoffs, raising an eyebrow at your completely flustered state. “i guess someone like you could have the audacity too.”

oh no, i only wanted to get along with him because he didn’t seem like such a bad person — you could feel evident frustration wrinkle on your face, and a distinctly painful burn suffuse across your cheeks from feigning a nice and well-mannered smile — but he’s so annoying!

| ACT 3: PLEASER. | XIAO.

“so, you’re sitting here too, huh…” you mumble with defeat as you watched him settle down in the seat beside yours, not even certain if you should still be surprised anymore at how the universe had suddenly taken an initiative role amidst the nearly improbable circumstances — all in hopes of helping you desperately save your long-lived friendship and your own stupid face.

“for someone who needed my help, that’s not quite the look i expected from you.” your new seat-mate nonchalantly comments, never batting an eye towards you as he casually sets his belongings to the side. “i don’t like it either, but it doesn’t hurt to solidify our alibi…” xiao pauses in his sentence, quietly thinking to himself for a brief moment. “well, that is, if you still intend to convince her—”

“i do, i do.” you grunt persistently, shadowing your face behind one hand while breathing out a deep sigh. it was seriously infuriating with how successful he was at getting on your nerves — first with his attitude during the first week of cleaning, then with you taking the downfall of confessing and breaking up, now this?

“i hope everyone’s satisfied.” the homeroom teacher eventually remarks with a hint of satisfaction, surveying everyone else’s varied expressions based on how the arrangements had turned out. “because this is it for the rest of the semester.”

the bell suddenly rings and signals the start of lunch break. strokes of black and white uniforms pass through the classroom exit in a flash — however, as for the tranquil noon of today, yours is not one of them.

your seat-mate stands up and begins to proceed along with the rest, whereas you tell seonhui you’re going to spend the free hour and a half advancing through some math homework. “nerd.” she scoffs sarcastically, tenderly patting your back and sending xiao a nasty glare, before soon leaving the room with a nonchalant wave. “try not to get your brain fried.”

“pst, dude!” xiao spares a brief glance across the room, at his friends waiting by the door of the nearly abandoned area, waiting impatiently with clearly famished sets of countenances. you salvage your unkempt belongings for a pencil and an eraser, preparing yourself to indulge in the lone universe of limits and derivatives — but to some slight surprise, you hear the shuffling of feet and movements from the chair next to yours, gazing at your seat-mate casually sitting back down on it with phone armed in hand.

“you’re not…going to eat?” you ask out of pure interest, staring at the exit only to discover that his friends had already disappeared. it was easy for you to presume that he would have bolted towards the door the minute the bell rang, in an endeavor to quickly get away from you, and spend whatever ticking time he had left for selfish peace and solitude…yet, he stays.

“i wouldn’t be a good boyfriend then, would i?” he mumbles half-heartedly, tapping the display of his illuminated screen a few more times, before the faint sound-effects of a mobile game suddenly come to play. “do your work or whatever, i’m not planning on bothering you anyway. i’ll just be here.”

your face creases in bafflement at his…oddly warm behavior. there’s a weird sensation that creeps up in your chest at his uncharacteristic response — and despite all the challenging problems or drawn-out solutions you were forced to scribble across the crowding sheets of papers on your desk for around fifteen agonizing minutes — it did absolutely nothing to dispel the snuggly and proliferating feeling that slowly began to invade your little heart.

and now, i can’t even finish this anymore! you groan inwardly to yourself once your fingers have finally given up on the writing utensil, hastily burying your face between your hands in hopes of somehow soothing the headache that incessantly poked at your poor and weary excuse of a useful brain.

“hey,” xiao abruptly calls you out, and your strained eyes flicker over to the boy’s glittering amber ones — you belatedly notice his phone set aside, and wonder how long he’s been staring at you with the lazy incline of his shoulders. “do you wanna ditch class?”

the incredulity that flashed across your face was highly unmistakable. “…are you even listening to yourself right now?” you question in disbelief, glancing back down at your assorted pages of homework piled upon your desk, the familiar yet despicable wave of pressure tumbling on your burdened shoulders. “no, no…i can’t do that. i can’t skip school.”

“because you’re a goody-two shoes?” he snorts with much intended sarcasm, crossing his arms with a displeased look on his face. “think of it as a date, then.”

“the case isn’t made any better, but i appreciate the effort.” you roll your eyes at the terribly nauseating thought. “though…i suppose it might help us drag this facade out a bit better, despite how horrid the idea sounds.”

“now you’re thinking.” xiao retorts with mirrored revulsion, staring up at the dull white ceiling in slight contemplation. “while i’d normally head to an internet cafe on my free time, perhaps you’d enlighten the notion of a bookstore instead.” his features crumple at the blatantly insipid concept of it — nevertheless, he was at least considerate enough towards you to include it. “well, you’re the lady around here. where do you want to go?”

| where do you ditch classes with xiao? | choices: (a) to the internet cafe, (b) to the bookstore. [NOTE, both choices result in the unlocking of two different and special routes.]

| option (a), +1 affection [xiao] |

[NOW UNLOCKING: ACT 3, XIAO’S SPECIAL ROUTE (I)— fleeting smiles in gaming hell]

the muffled noises of friendly chatter drift throughout the half-crowded expanse that was the gaming cafe. neon and fluorescent lights coruscate to life despite the early afternoon, and the distinct aroma of potato chips flutter about the chilly breeze that blew quivering kisses on your temperate skin. xiao insouciantly guides you through the countless rows of computer desks, intimate with the quaint area like it had been traced across the back of his hand — and eventually pauses when you both reach an unoccupied space tucked away at the back of the cafe.

“games, are they fun?” you cautiously ask as you proceed to inhabit a tattered and moderately worn-out seat, however xiao grabs your arm and gently drags you over towards a more pristine chair stationed beside the shabby one. “if they weren’t fun, we’d probably be at the bookstore right about now.”

“…sure.” you resort to a civil nod, biting your lower lip as you settle down on the black piece of furniture to quell the bubbling anger in. “my parents are pretty strict, so they don’t really let me do this kind of stuff.” xiao slightly leans over your desk to flick the computer switch on, and retreats back to his side while doing the same. “or well, they’ll probably really kill me this time when they find out i’ve ditched.” you barely comment before letting out an embarrassed chuckle at the strangely amusing thought of yourself becoming a rebel.

“it was my idea, i’ll handle the consequences.” he remarks with indifference, selecting a pvp game from the collection presented on the flashing monitor of the device. “you just worry about your ass getting handed back to you on this game.”

why that little…you scoff at the unbelievably hubristic and rude declaration, keeping your lips shut as you click on the same game he previously chose from the main menu. you know what, anything can happen. i could be kicking ass in this game, for all that jerk knows—

“wow, you weren’t kidding when you said this was your first time.” you hear xiao frankly announce, tone laced with distinguishable bewilderment at your astonishingly embarrassing performance after flailing around the map for a solid five minutes into the game, as your defeated shoulders hunched before the displayed screen. “it’s like you need an exorcism or something — or i don’t even know if one can save you.”

“but why does this person keep hurting my character?” you huff with a frustrated pout, leaning towards the screen with a confused tilt of your head. “and they keep following me even though i’m running away…what should i do?”

“what are you even doing?” a pale hand immediately takes over control of your possessed mouse and the side of your keyboard, the sound of swiftly clacking keys echoing throughout your secluded space. “you’re really bad at this, y/n l/n.”

“i know, i know, okay?!” you exclaim with a pissed expression, grumbling in sorrow and disappointment from your admittedly careless show of gaming, as you retract your fingers from the side of the board to allow him more space…albeit your hand remains beneath his on the mouse. “and it’s my first time anyway, why the hell do i need an exorcism?!”

“i know, i’m kidding.” xiao snickered lightly, glancing back at you with the most trivial and teasing of smiles. “you’d get better with a bit more practice.”

…what?

something unusual tickles you within the depths of your warm chest — a fluttering sensation as the seconds seemed to slow down, as you stared at his glowing face illuminated by the flashing graphics of the screen, and the beauty of an tepid spring blooming amidst the oddest and most unexpected of smiles.

he…laughed?

| option (b), +1 affection [xiao] |

[NOW UNLOCKING: ACT 3, XIAO’S SPECIAL ROUTE (II) — bookshelves and melting treats]

“i meant it as a joke, but i can’t believe we actually ditched classes for this.” you hear the boy lowly grumble beneath his breath, as you both set foot within the premises of the breezy bookshop. potted plants and strung fairy lights hang across wooden shelves, the wonderful scent of paperbacks and coffee permeates within the crisp temperatures, as streaks of incandescent daylight infiltrate the cozy nature inside confined proportions.

“oh come on, we won’t be here for long.” you reason with a light tug of his sleeve. “just let me buy some math workbooks and we’ll be out soon enough!”

“y/n l/n, what is it with you and math anyway?” xiao snorts in a nauseous tone, picking up a thin book displayed on a plastic stand with mild curiosity. “well, let’s make it quick and get out of here.”

the sound of soft footsteps trekking together reverberate through the airy establishment — your eyes carefully perusing the ledges in awe at the towering racks of stacked books within the quaint shop. when you reach the education section, you leisurely select a handful of advanced workbooks to practice on later when you’d arrive back at home. “okay, i think this is it.”

you turn around to tell xiao that you had finished — however the words pause behind your teeth when you catch him currently inspecting a slender children’s storybook within his pale possession. “…i never really pegged you for the type to be interested in fairytales.”

“it’s not for me, idiot.” came his bland response as you approach him, before he nonchalantly reaches to grab your books from your grasp, and disappears behind the corner to head for the payment section. “it’s for my little sister. now hurry your ass up so we can leave.”

“w-wait! you have my books.” you retort, hurriedly walking to match his swift pace, as he eventually deposits the aggregated stack of books upon arriving at the polished marble counter. “don’t.” he grumbles lowly, sliding an arm in front of you when you suddenly attempt to fish out a wad of cash from your pocket. “i’ll pay for this.”

“but…” you awkwardly trail off with a blank judgment, absentmindedly watching as the cashier skillfully packages your purchased items in a neatly fashioned paper bag, and xiao slides a couple of bills towards the lady in exchange. “thank you, have a nice day lovebirds!”

“oh, we’re not—” lanky fingers materialize as they encircle your wrist, and you feel yourself slowly getting dragged towards the door by the shorter boy, suddenly remembering why you two were even outside in the first place. “or you know what, actually we are.”

the scintillating sun sprawls across your faces as you both leave the chilly bookstore. you can’t particularly distinguish if it’s the pleasant weather or his calloused hands that makes you feel warm and tingly inside. “um so, where are we going now?” you ask in a timid manner, fanning yourself with your free hand as beads of perspiration begin to form across your forehead. “we didn’t really stay in there for long…what should we do now?”

xiao spares you a hasty glance, before looking back towards the front without much of a care. “let’s get some ice cream. there should be a stall at the end of the street.” you part your lips to speak, but he cuts you off with an instant response. “and no, you’re not paying, so drop it already.”

you let out a grumbling sigh, frowning because his unanticipated generosity was simply making you feel guiltier than you previously did for thinking he was a jerk. when you both approach the aforementioned stall, you immediately opt for the cheapest ice cream your eyes could find on the menu with a hurried blurt, causing xiao to send you a side-glance while pulling out his wallet that clearly rendered you a weirdo.

“you…why are you so nice today?” you eventually find the courage to ask when the two of you had strayed around the busy district. “what, not a single thank you for buying you books and an ice cream?”

but you…were so annoying before! — you’re tempted to retort, but you keep your lips shut and bend your pride out of greater gratitude. “…thank you. really.”

“that wasn’t so hard.” he remarks with an indifferent scoff, but somehow you get the impression that he’s purposefully doing it to poke fun at you in return. it’s twisted humor, but somehow it suits him.

“remind me to never go on a date with you again.” you groan with a knackered countenance, shaking your head at the odd series of events that transpired in a mere day. your ice cream begins to melt beneath the temperate heat, and you inwardly panic while beginning to eat the sweet treat with more urgence.

“don’t worry,” a soft snicker rumbles, and you feel something warm brush the cream thoughtlessly smeared against the corners of your lips. your gaze meets the culprit’s amber irises, a small and teasing smile surprisingly contorted across his pale features, that begins to send your heart into a ticklish frenzy. “we’re never doing this again, y/n l/n.”

the weather was blistering, but not like the look he gave you on that verdant spring day.

| YOU HAVE COMPLETED ACT 3! |

[NOW UNLOCKING: ACT 3, XIAO’S BONUS ROUTE — 12 am rambles]

sometimes, all it takes is the slightest nudge.

“…why are you calling?”

“you were the one who texted me.”

you stare down at your phone, studying the illuminated monitor that displayed your chat with him. “yeah, to say thank you…again. i wasn’t actually expecting you to call me though —”

“big brother xiao, is that mom on the phone?” an indistinguishable voice squeaks from the end of the line, and your eyebrows furrow in confusion at the seemingly childish tone. “who…is that your sister?”

the slightest nudge to make the kaleidoscope of butterflies in one’s heart…

“no kid, it’s not mom—” “—or, is it that pretty lady mom scolded you for skipping classes with…?”

…burst forth with a roar.

“pfft..” you stifle an amused laugh, knowing xiao wasn’t the only one reprimanded by his own parents (but part of you begs to wonder if it was his mother who thought of you as so, or him). “can i talk to the pretty lady too??”

“…it’s getting late, don’t you have a birthday part to attend tomorrow?” ruffling noises echo through the line, as you pin the phone between your cheek and shoulder, while stuffing the last of your books in your backpack, in preparation for the next day. “here, take your bunny and make sure to sleep in your room qiqi.” you hear a soft and affectionate exchange of ‘goodnights’ between the siblings, along with the sound of a door gently shutting, before his voice comes back much clearer on the end of the phone. “hey, what were you saying?”

“did she enjoy the book you bought her?” you inquire with an absent smile on your face, as you set the bag on your desk before laying down on the plush of your bed to anticipate his own response. “she came inside the room to say thanks. i’m sure she likes it anyway.”

like when something no one had thought of…

“still…i know she’s your sister, but it’s a bit weird to hear you call someone by their first name.” you hum in thought, blankly staring up at the whites of your drab ceiling. “you usually call others by their full names, or i don’t know…you make up the worst nicknames too.”

“it feels more comfortable.” a series of special sound effects reverberate from his side, and you presume he’s probably busying himself with a computer game while conversing with you. “what about it anyway?”

…suddenly feels so peculiar.

“would people get suspicious if you called me by my full name?” you ask while unconsciously twirling your hair, suppressing a yawn from escaping your mouth at the somewhat late hour. “i heard that nowadays, couples usually call each other by their firsts or…sappy nicknames.” the awkward thought makes you cringe, and you’re quite certain he feels revolted by the sound of it as well.

“then again, you can’t really say we’re like the rest of them.”a faint noise of players shooting sparks behind the volume of his voice. “because you’re talking about real couples, and we’re just faking it.”

“…i suppose that’s true.”

the silence immediately ensuing after the sensitive topic makes it all the more uncomfortable. you’re wondering if he’s unsure what to say next, or if he just doesn’t feel like talking to you tonight. well, he is sort of busy with his game…

a breathy and hesitant sigh suddenly comes from his line. “but i guess…it wouldn’t really be the end of the world if i said it out loud.”

for instance,

“y/n.”

(tickle, tickle.) the unexpectedly pleasant sound of your name tumbling down his lips brings the silliest of smiles to your drowsy face, as your eyes lightly begin to flutter close to the melody of his soft voice. “xiao.”

(only to make her feel better.) “y/n.”

(his name sounds…nice.) “xiao.”

| ACT 4: SWEET TO ME. | THOMA.

“that guy’s a jerk.” your fists shake in quelled anger, glaring down at the disorganized paper congested with various rounds of ‘connect four’ — and on the corner of the paper were five scrawled marks labeled beneath his name, whereas yours were left regrettably empty.

“one more round?” you reached up to gently tug on his white sleeve, as he prepares to leave with his friends when the bell instantly signaled break. had it not been for xiao’s idea to play a few rounds while in class, you would have likely dozed off into the deepest of slumbers, after staying awake to talk with the said boy all night.

“no thanks.” he snorts at your displayed sullen frown before turning away. “it’s not fun to play when you’re always winning.”

“you seem comfortable.” seonhui merely remarks, head leaning on her hand as she glances over at you. “you usually act…i don’t know, too good? and then all of a sudden, you’re skipping classes and calling people jerks.”

you avert your guilty gaze, sheepishly fiddling with your fingers. “i know, it’s bad isn’t it?”

“i think it’s refreshing.” she muses with a playful smile. “you should be doing stuff like this more often.”

i can’t tell if she’s joking…you think to yourself with burning cheeks, hastily shaking your head in severe denial. “no way, my mom was really harsh with her scolding yesterday. i can never do that again.”

“well, whatever’s the case, you both look…weirdly good together.” seonhui grumbles, recoiling in disgust upon listening to her own words. “ew, forget i said that.” she rapidly shakes her head, standing up as she taps a few fingers on your desk. “get up and let’s change, we have pe next.”

the passing comment of you and xiao seemingly good together as a couple…ignites a peculiar and indecipherable sensation within your own little heart. it’s an absurd thought, yet it patiently dawdles on the back of your mind even as you stand next to your best friend beneath the withering heat of the brilliant sun. “i’m a bit curious though,” came a hushed mumble from your side, as the pe teacher begins with the morning greetings towards the class. “why does xiao treat you like everyone else does? i would’ve thought he’d give you…i don’t know, some kind of extra special behavior for his own girlfriend?”

that’s because it’s fake…you merely shrug your shoulders at her tricky question, other drifting murmurs of the students abruptly halting at the sound of a deafening whistle. “we’ll be playing some sports today! you can either divide yourselves in groups or play with friends, anything is fine as long as you’re participating in something.”

your eyes land on a tuft of green hair towards the front, and the awfully familiar sight of it makes you contemplate quietly to yourself. how would xiao act if he was with someone he liked? would he miraculously be nicer? go out on better dates with her?

would he…smile more often?

“hey, stranger!” a friendly nudge wakes you up from the hazy trance, and you glance over to catch viridescent irises staring your way. “thoma, it’s been a while!”

the class had dispersed into several groups, and you’re left standing beside the tall boy rocking back and forth on his heels. “i figured, um…well, it’s been a while since we had that ‘talk’…and we’re still good, right?”

you bob your head with a reassuring smile, reaching up to tenderly pat his shoulder. “we’re good. like always.”

he exhales a groggy sigh with fatigued shoulders. “okay, that’s great, thank god.” thoma shakes his head, shadowing his face with one hand to conceal his embarrassment.

“so…why aren’t you with your other friends?” you raise an eyebrow, gesturing over to a distant group of students huddled together to play a tennis match. it was easy to recognize them as so, because you noticed how thoma would always eat alongside the same people at the cafeteria.

“oh…it’s nothing serious.” his cheerful expression falters for a brief second, and when you blink again his eyes are instantly locked on yours. “what sport are you interested in playing? i’d like to have a match with you today.”

“ah, i’m only good at tennis.” you grin sheepishly, surveying the vast expanse allotted for various sports. “though…it looks like all the rackets are already occupied.”

“want me to teach you some basketball?” thoma chimes with a proudly twisted grin, tilting his head at you with a beaming aura. “basketball? you know how to play basketball?”

“harsh.” he grunts while feigning a dramatic tone. “i am pretty confident in my skills, so i wouldn’t mind teaching you a few ace tricks. although the morning heat is quite torrid today…maybe we should skip it for the vending machines instead.”

“i seem to be ditching classes a lot nowadays…” you sarcastically admit, much to your visible chagrin. “you still make quite the tempting offer.”

“oh but, will your boyfriend mind?” thoma cautiously asks, inspecting the various faces of students in search for a particular face. “not really…” you gesture over towards the boy in question bickering about with another familiar and short silhouette. “he’s busy playing tennis with seonhui, the teacher probably forced them to play it together again.”

“so…what do you say, then?” he playfully smiles with a mischievous bow, courteously extending a free hand towards you with one tucked behind his back. “where shall we head off to, my lady?”

| how do you spend pe classes with thoma? | choices: (a) lessons with basketball, (b) over at the vending machine. [NOTE, both choices result in the unlocking of two different and special routes.]

| option (a), +1 affection [thoma] |

[NOW UNLOCKING: ACT 3, THOMA’S SPECIAL ROUTE (I) — basketball lessons and laundry detergent]

“i can be a bit clumsy with this.” you warn in advance, dubiously treading heavy footsteps over to the somewhat vacant green court, situated near the corner of the school backyard. “so i’ll just apologize ahead of time.”

“not to worry, you’ve got a fantastic teacher!” thoma sends you a poised smile, warming up with a few flashy tricks that leave you both intimidated, yet in undeniable awe. “are you ready?”

“sure.” you nod lightly, bouncing on your feet with excitement. “i wanna learn how to shoot it well through the hoop though.”

“we can start with that.” he grins, walking towards the towering hoop at the end. “i’ll try to make the explanation simpler. just observe my stance and the way i hold the ball.”

you watch from the sidelines as he shifts into a staggered position, flexing his knees slightly while his right hand goes under the ball. “since we’re both right-handed, here’s your shooting hand.” he remarks, faintly gesturing over to his right. “and the left is a guide for the direction.”

thoma slowly begins running up towards the hoop, and quickly tosses the basketball within his precise grasp — which manages to fall through the hole quite smoothly. he glances back over his shoulder, a seemingly proud twinkle gleaming in his green eyes. “and that’s how you do it!”

“great, yeah. completely understand.” you mumble in a dazed manner, still processing the movements that just transpired, while he slowly draws closer to you and offers the basketball in his hands. “come on, you can do it. you’re the ace student after all.”

your hands reach out to grab the ball, gingerly facing the hoop as thoma retreats to the sides with a following suggestion. “why don’t you try dribbling before you shoot? maybe you’d be more comfortable with holding the ball by then.”

you do as he says and let the ball freely drop from your possession, tapping it a couple of times with your right hand before looking over at thoma for validation. “you’re a bit cautious with it. you could try to move around.”

“oh, okay—!” your hands accidentally push the basketball towards the right, and you carelessly begin running towards it without noticing that the sudden direction was already leading towards the blonde. “y/n, watch out!”

your eyes flutter shut while skidding your feet on the court, bracing yourself for a painful impact…only to be caught by a slender pair of arms wrapping themselves tightly around your shorter frame. something sturdy presses against your chest, and it takes a few seconds before you feel a warm breath tickle the patches of skin around your ear from the exhales of a relieved sigh.

the scintillating heat of the sun was nothing compared to the flush that rose in your cheeks. you tried to pry yourself away from his grasp, suddenly feeling paranoid that someone would accidentally catch you in the scandalous act…and realize that you and xiao were just a lie. but his hands are relentless as they press you further into his embrace. you can feel the sound of skipping beats vibrate from inside his chest, and a million fireworks begin to set off in your own heart. “thoma?”

it’s as if the gesture snaps him back to consciousness, and the both of you jump away at an instinct, like you had both been burned with each others touch. thoma awkwardly clears his throat, frantically glancing around with a clearly nervous demeanor. “so, um…did you like it?”

“what?” your cheeks darken once more. “what are you—”

“the detergent!” he hurriedly exclaims, almost like he struck a realization. “i, uh…got a new one.”

“o-oh!” you stutter before nodding expeditiously, trying to rid yourself of the weird tension falling between the both of you. “y-yeah, it um, smells nice.” the bile in your throat remains stuck, and it’s only when you peek over the boy’s shoulder, that you witness one of his friends approaching with a gawking countenance. “t-thoma? y/n? what were you doing over there?”

oh my god, oh my god, oh my god — you inwardly begin to panic, glancing over to see the blonde frozen in mirrored astonishment as well. what are we going to do?!

“y/n, i thought you were dating—”

and then without further warning, thoma suddenly charges into a speedy run towards the approaching boy, hastily spreading his arms out to tightly wrap around him as the other lets out a surprised groan from the collision — depicting the most uncomfortable embrace of the entire century. “um, what the hell are you doing?”

“i got a new detergent!” the blonde rapidly justifies, aggressively pressing his friend’s head towards his sleeve. “i was asking y/n’s thoughts on it earlier…” thoma sneaks a glance behind his shoulder, meeting eyes with you for a split second while making sure the other boy’s head was firmly pressed down. “but i need a second opinion. does it…um, smell alright?”

the silence was deafening, filled with only muted sniffs of his quiet friend, before he eventually looks up to stare at thoma in an intimidatingly serious manner. “you…”

oh my god, he’s gonna find out! — “where the hell did you get that detergent?” — that xiao and i were lying, and seonhui’s gonna…huh?

you gaze at the sniffing boy with wide eyes, bewildered that thoma’s foolish stunt somehow actually worked. “i-is it alright?” “yeah dude! it has a nice crisp lemon fragrance…but not too harsh and citrusy…”

his friend begins to grab onto the sleeve for harsher purchase, whereas thoma desperately attempts to budge the clinging man off with an expression of mortification — all while you stifle your laughter and hold your tongue at the awfully affectionate moment shared between the two friendly boys. “hey, that’s enough — let go! WOULD YOU PLEASE STOP SNIFFING ME ALREADY?!”

| option (b), +1 affection [thoma] |

[NOW UNLOCKING: ACT 3, THOMA’S SPECIAL ROUTE (II) — drinks beneath cherry blossoms]

“the weather is more pleasant underneath the shade.” thoma casually remarks as he leans on a pillar, patiently waiting for you to choose your drink, while you carefully scrutinize the displayed menu stuck to the vending machine. “it would definitely feel much better with a cold drink.” you triumphantly grin, fingers punching in a button with a large bottle of lemon iced tea. your hands reach down to jingle around your pockets for spare change, yet a fair hand inserting a crisp bill already beats you to it. “oh, that’s mine to pay.”

“it’s alright, i’m the one who invited you out here anyway.” he smiles warmly, retracting his limb from the money slot as he steps closer to inspect the menu, hovering around a few buttons before eventually reaching a decision. “and i think i’ll have the same as you.”

faint transaction noises are made, before the machine generates the product and your bottles roll down the opening. he bends down to reach the both of them, and courteously hands one over to you, to which you bashfully accept with gratitude.

the two of you decide to walk around the outdoor corridors of the premises, chattering about together like the old days, forgetting about the recent events and acting as if your recent relationship hadn’t ever changed.

“you look…better nowadays.” thoma suddenly points out, fiddling with the bottle of the drink in his hand as you gaze over at him, while seated on a stone bench near the school gardens. “i mean…i don’t know if it’s just me who notices but…you seem to look happy with him.”

“with xiao?” you hum to yourself in contemplation, thinking about the past few events that had transpired. “yeah. i didn’t really understand at first why it was the both of you,” he shakes his head with a small smile. “not that i mean anything rude by it, but it was sort of…out of the blue? and now, even seonhui tells me you’re more — well, relaxed around him.” he snickers knowingly. “and we both know how aggressive she can get.”

you smile absentmindedly at the thought, a cool breeze sweeping through the greenery, as a shower of cherry blossoms begin to descend from the pink trees. “do you…really like him?”

something foreign tickles your heart at the sudden question. you knew the whole relationship was completely fake — built out of the desperate foundation to save your own friendship with seonhui. but what if — despite the chance being slim, despite irritating comments and unexpected conversations, despite the fact that you swore you’d never end up involving yourself with him…and yet you stayed up all night just to listen to the sound of his voice —

what if you really liked xiao?

“i…”

“you don’t have to answer that.” thoma says, staring down at the sundry hues of petals dispersed all across the ground. “i think…it’s okay not to know yet. i mean, you have the rest of semester to think it over, right?” he smiles comfortingly, glancing over to meet your confused gaze. “but for whatever it’s worth…i hope it makes you happy. i wish nothing but the best for you, y/n.”

the sudden tenderness behind his honest words makes your heart feel mushy inside. “thank you, thoma.” you return his kind smile, gazing back up at the clear rapture-blue ethers and fluttering flowers — witnessing the last effervescent remainders of the slowly fleeting and tepid season, seeing how it all began to fade away as you sat together with him.

“i hope you’ll find yourself happy someday too.”

| YOU HAVE COMPLETED ACT 4! |

[NOW UNLOCKING: ACT 4, THOMA’S BONUS ROUTE — late hours and drizzling rain]

[WARNING! the following scene contains a short preview on the summer chapter.]

“hey.” you warily nudge xiao, shattering his focus on his mobile game as it shifts towards you. “you can go home first. this might take a while to finish.”

“you sure you’ll be fine?” he raises an eyebrow, stuffing the device in his pocket, as you incline your head with an encouraging smile. “you go ahead, i’ll see you tomorrow.”

he leaves without saying much, other than a casual ‘goodbye’ as the sky gradually darkens — and you find yourself solving math equations left alone in the silence of your classroom. you were practically cramming the last bits of the previous lesson’s information in your half-malfunctioning brain, trying not to think about the rumbling weather outside. before you know it, thick water droplets collide against the glass of the windows, and a chilly air fills the abandoned classroom.

that stupid scary story…if only i hadn’t heard any of it! — you anxiously chastise yourself, scribbling a couple more numerical values across the crowded sheet of paper, the incessant thump of your heart rate drastically spiking with wild thoughts. oh god, it’s nighttime and raining like they all said…what if it suddenly comes in?

a bead of perspiration condenses against your forehead, taking deep breaths to calm yourself down. it’s peaceful and quiet — other than the faint pitter-patters of outdoor rain, the heavy scrawling of your pencil, the hushed sounds of footsteps treading closer, the soft noises echoing from the jutted ceiling fan…

wait, what?

your gaze slowly meets the tightly shut door out of fear, a bone-chilling sensation creeping up your spine. the squeaking of footsteps get louder, and you clutch your pencil with evident terror. i should have gone home with xiao!

the door suddenly slides open and you let out a horrified shriek, throwing your writing utensil away as you cover your face with quivering hands. “a-ah! i’m sorry!”

“uh, y/n?” a familiar voice echoes by the entrance, and you hesitantly lower your trembling limbs to witness…thoma standing there. “w-what…thoma, what are you doing here?”

“sorry, i didn’t mean to scare you.” he smiles guiltily, stepping into the vacated classroom. “i came to retrieve my phone, i accidentally left it in here.”

“o-oh, okay.” you take a deep breath, attempting to calm your shaken nerves, while thoma approaches his seat and fishes on the space beneath his desk, retreating with the said phone in his grasp. “want me to stay behind?” he politely suggests, pointing down to his chair. “i can sit over here, i promise i won’t distract you.”

“no that’s alright…um, can i walk home with you instead?” you ask out of nervousness, while hurriedly filing your belongings in your bag. “sure! i’ll wait for you by the door.”

once you’ve finished packing everything on your desk, you scurried over towards the tall blonde, and begin walking down the bleak and dull corridors of the building. “thank god you’re here…i would have lost it if i stayed alone in there any longer.”

“no problem! although i noticed xiao wasn’t there, don’t you guys usually go home together?” thoma inquires, raising an eyebrow in confusion. “i told him to go home first — i felt bad for keeping him in there for too long.”

“did something happen between you and him?”

“um, not that i can think of anything. why?” you ask, peeking over at the tall boy.

“nothing much.” he grins. “just…i can feel it when i’m looking at you two. xiao likes you.”

xiao…likes me.

your fingers rhythmically tap on the strap of your backpack, and you glance over at thoma walking on your right, attempting to avert the odd subject into a different direction. “um, did you hear that scary story earlier? the one about the student six years ago?”

“is that why you were jumpy?” thoma snorts with a teasing grin. “well, six years wasn’t really that long ago…and it sounds so realistic. it must have been difficult for him, to have made such a choice and ended up leaving his family and friends behind.” you mumble quietly while staring blankly at the cemented ground. “but those are just rumors, so i’m sure nothing happened and it was all made up.”

“yeah…i hope so.” the blonde trails off, an indecipherable expression contorting on his shrouded features. something feels off about the surrounding air from such simple words — chilly and bitter, as it prickles on your skin, akin to a familiar sensation of loneliness.

“if something’s wrong, it’s okay to confide in others.” you offer him a small smile. “even if it’s not much help…” thoma’s seemingly lackluster eyes avert from yours, gazing with sentiment at the drenched windows. “sometimes just having someone listen, can make you feel better.”

he doesn’t say a word, just swallows the lump lodged in his throat and silently thinks to himself for a while. you don’t think you’ve ever seen thoma so uncharacteristically serious, as he stands there next to you mute, and you wait for him to speak again.

“like you said,” he mutters. “it’s just a rumor. so i thought it would have become so blown up, that the truth would seem minor in comparison.” a brief pause. “surprisingly, it hit close to home. i think that’s what’s more shocking.”

your eyes stare at him in puzzlement, yet he continues talking. “it took place six years ago…on a rainy day. he was burned out from school.”

thoma finally meets your uncertain eyes with a sad smile. “although it was from the roof of my apartment, instead of the school...

that my brother jumped.”

| ACT 5: I HEART U. | XIAO + THOMA.

something’s weird.

the warm breeze flutters the sheer fabric of white curtains, blowing past your face as it sends a gust perforating through your hair and up in the wind. it kisses your skin with tender tickles, and brings a light flush across your cheeks as you glance over at the boy seated next to you.

when did i become more conscious of xiao’s presence?

from the slightest fingertip brushes to accidental and shared eye-contact — everything sends shivers down your spine, and it makes you feel more paranoid than usual.

do i…

“y/n l/n.”

like xiao?

“don't you think it's time we end this act?”

(the seconds pause.)

“what?” you question in bewilderment, shifting your gaze up from your written homework to the sound of his voice. “so suddenly?”

“i wouldn’t say its sudden.” he mumbles, never once looking towards your way from his phone. “after all, it’s not like we’re dating for real.”

ah.

“it’s been long enough that your best friend will believe you.” xiao adds without much of a change in his expression. “but if we drag this on any longer…it’ll only be harder for us to find the right timing to break up.”

(strangely, it feels so…) “okay…” you nod, fidgeting with your fingers with a placid smile. “you only did this to help me out anyway…so if that’s what you think, we should stop.”

you chew thoughtfully on your lip, wondering what to tell him for the last time. “um…thank you. for everything.”

(real.)

i feel so embarrassed. you regretfully think to yourself, staring over at your original seat-mate, after discovering that xiao had only swapped seats to stay next to you and maintain the facade. i don’t know why i feel so anxious about it. i thought…

he liked me.

…huh?

“y/n l/n...i thought you said you liked me.”

you clasp your fingers together, shutting your eyes at the faraway memory that already felt so long ago.

i guess…i’m being punished.

“you know what, good job for breaking up with xiao.”

you find yourself seated outside during break time, together with seonhui on a nice bench, as she aggressively pokes a hole through her juice box with a plastic straw. “i don’t plan on telling you to go out with thoma either anymore…i mean, how could i when you were dating that tiny dude?”

you glanced over at the contemplative girl, as she gazed up at the cloudy smudges of a brilliant blue sky. “i don’t care what you do, as long as you’re happy.”

“but,” she halts, clutching her little drink as she raises it up to her mouth and takes a sip. “if you dated someone you didn’t have feelings for, like i think you did…then i feel sorry for xiao, because he was serious about you.”

you shift your eyes away from her, staring at the distantly situated trees from afar, a light tension settling between the both of you. “while we’re on the subject, how about we both be honest about our feelings and let them out?”

seonhui continues, toying around with the inserted straw. “yes, it’s true that i like thoma. he’s my first love, and it’s been one-sided for six years. so to be brutally honest, i was grateful and relieved it was you. i wasn’t prepared to see him date someone else i didn’t know personally yet.” she looks over at you. “but don’t misunderstand — i wasn’t lying when i said i wished you both well.”

“so now, it’s your turn.” she concludes, pointing her drink blatantly at your troubled face. “be honest with me, y/n l/n.”

“who do you really like?”

[NOW UNLOCKING: ACT 5, XIAO’S SPECIAL ROUTE — late professions and dirty secrets]

[SPECIAL WARNING: if you select xiao as your final love interest, this scene will depict your character trying to confess to him — special inner dialogues for this particular route are marked with parentheses “()”. however, if you’re choosing thoma’s route instead, the story will simply proceed as it goes.]

“seonhui, is it alright if you go ahead first?” you nudge your best friend lightly, staring at the boy quietly waiting inside the vacated arts room. “i need to talk with xiao for a second.”

(i was selfish.)

“sure.” she pats your shoulder in reassurance, before eventually walking away with a wave. “i’ll be around in the corridors.”

(i wanted to know how xiao really felt.)

you exhale a trembling breath, stepping inside the classroom and firmly shutting the door behind you. xiao’s head tilts towards the source of the sound, staring over at you approaching his seated figure on the table. “let’s make this quick, then.” he mumbles, setting his phone aside, as he nonchalantly leans back on the desk.

“i know it’s silly of me to ask of this now, but…” you clasp your hands together as you look up to meet his golden-amber eyes. “why did you want to help me? this had nothing to do with you.”

(because my true intention was to confess my feelings.)

“why did you say you’d go out with me?”

(but i suppose he already had other plans.)

“because it was annoying.”

his gaze pierces deep into yours, albeit the words cut harder than anything else he did. “the way you acted all nice was irritating, so i wanted to see how far you’d take it.”

he puffs out a casual sigh, shrugging his shoulders. “i didn’t really think you’d pretend to go out with me, because of your best friend.”

“why don’t you just go out with thoma? i think he still has feelings for you.” xiao remarks, raising an eyebrow over at your solemn expression. “you really might as well just date him.”

(when i realized that something was amiss…)

“what are you..”

“even if your best friend likes thoma…”

the sound of a sliding door slowly creaks ajar, and two varying sizes of silhouettes quietly linger from the opened entrance.

“it doesn’t look like…he has any feelings for her at all.”

(it was too late, and someone had already been hurt.)

“what a load of bullshit.”

| TO BE CONTINUED… |

spring is...coming to an end.

[flooffybits]

(Not Just) Friends

Idol: Kim Jungeun (Loona)

marshmallow: Kim lip x 13th member story inspired by the song friends by Ed Sheeran🤍

A/n: this one is done earlier because of a friend but i still plan on sticking to my schedule

☕buy me a coffee☕

Being attracted to someone of the same sex was a very difficult thing when you live in Korea due to it being a little more conservative compared to other countries.

Being attracted to someone of the same sex while being an idol, however, was a completely different conversation you were not ready to have with anyone.

Especially not when the person was someone in the same group as you - someone you had considered a really close friend.

“Unnie, pay attention!” You snap out of your thoughts to the sound of Yeojin’s voice and when her hand enveloped around your wrist, preventing you from mindlessly chopping a finger off. You were quick to retract the knife you were holding and looked apologetically towards the maknae, who had a bit of a panicked look on her face. “Sorry.” You mumbled before Sooyoung shook her head with an exaggerated sigh.

“I thought I could trust you in the kitchen!” She scolds playfully and you pout before turning back to the potatoes you were preparing. “I don’t burn the kitchen.” The comment earned a glare from your now brunette friend whilst Hyejoo burst out laughing at your little jab. “Hey, that’s a low blow.” Chaewon huffs and you shrug your shoulders when Sooyoung laughs beside you. “At least the worst you’ve done recently is just cutting up the food container, unlike Choerry.”

“Hey!”

Said girl pouted while Jinsoul gave her a small pat on the back. “At least you cleaned up the microwave afterwards.” Though even when she nodded, the pout had yet to leave Yerim’s face, making you smile as you put the cut vegetables aside. “Don’t worry, you guys are doing better so that’s a plus.” You assure them before moving to check on the beef to see if it was still frozen or not so you could cut them into smaller pieces.

Though in your busy state, you don’t realize the body next to you before an added pressure came to your left shoulder and when you turned, Hyunjin gave you her puppy eyes out of nowhere, making you raise a brow right before she muttered a quiet ‘aeong’ that made you break into a smile.

“What do you want this time, Hyun?” The cat puffed her cheeks before nuzzling your shoulder. “I’m hungry.” She stated and you hum while refocusing on the food you were preparing for all of them. “I know, that’s why I’m cooking.” You chime and she hugs you from the side with a whine. “I want bread.”

Of course she did.

“Don’t you and Heejin have a stash?” You question, grabbing a few spices to season the meat and the other huffed. “We finished it and we haven’t bought any yet.” She replies and you let out a small sigh before shaking your head. “Why don’t you buy now? I’m pretty sure you’ll be back by the time I finish.” But your suggestion earned itself a whimper from the latter before she’s pulling at your arm. “Come with me.”

Of course, your inability to decline your members of anything they liked was the reason why Hyunjin was pestering you into coming with her. That, and the fact that she knows you’ll get her more bread compared to Heejin.

Meanwhile, off to the side, as you and the cat continued to act like a married couple, a certain blonde watched with a small scowl set on her lips, arms crossed as she listened to the conversation you were both having.

Though, she knows that she shouldn’t be jealous, she couldn’t help the fear that maybe one day you would get tired of all the hiding. But then again, she remembers that neither of you were actually dating because you were too scared about the consequences of being found out by anyone, in or out of the group.

But she couldn’t say you were mere friends either.

..

“What were you expecting me to do? You know that I can’t just let Hyunjin go on her own.” You sigh, exasperated and Jungeun frowns more, not at all pleased with having to sit by and watch you and your friend act almost much more of a couple than you and her have ever been. “Hyunjin is old enough to do things on her own! She could have gone with any of the other girls if you told her no, too.” She retorted and you rolled your eyes before letting out a grunt. “Jungeun, me and Hyunjin are friends. I think you’re forgetting that fact.” You remind her and she huffs. “Friends don’t act like they want to go out on a date with each other.”

Something inside of you snaps at her words and you turn to glare at her. “Friends don’t look at each other the same way we do. Hell, friends shouldn’t even be kissing like we do, but here we are!” You snap and the room goes quiet as you both stare at each other, emotions bubbling and ready to spill over, but you’re quick to notice the rising tension, so you take a step back and shake your head, frowning.

“I’m going to bed. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” You mutter, pushing past the older girl and exiting her room, leaving Jungeun to stare after you before she let out a groan and collapsed on her bed, pressing a pillow to face as she did just so no one would come in and hear her.

She knows that you were right, but there was nothing either of you could do with the situation. Unless you wanted to get in trouble, this was the best you could manage without compromising the rest of the girls.

Later that night, you’re woken by the movement on your bed and a body pressing against your side, prompting your eyes to open.

The blonde hair was enough of a give away as to who it was, but the older girl doesn't let you speak when she just pulls you closer so you don't get to see her face when she buries it to your hair.

"I'm sorry." Is all she says and you blink in confusion before slowly letting your arms come around her waist and just shut your eyes again.

This wasn't anything new, but this was the first time that Jungeun's decided to be the one to come to you and apologize rather than sleeping it off and talking about it the next day.

While none of the members were bothered with the two of you sleeping in each other's bed, it bothered you both when someone else would do it with you.

And it just so happens that Jungeun isn't the only one that ever gets jealous.

"I get it, you have great chemistry and all, but did you really have to rub it in my face?" Jungeun scoffs at your words after you got home from another interview. Everyone had to be in their respective sub units, so it made sense that Jungeun stayed with Jinsoul and Yerim, and you with Yeojin.

But it just somehow made you a little uncomfortable to see Jungeun let the older girl pepper her face with kisses and act like you weren't there at all.

"Oh, come on! You know that Jinsoul unnie likes to be affectionate with everyone, so stop acting like a jealous girlfriend!"

You both shut up and Jungeun's anger diminished when she saw the look on your face as you clenched your jaw, only to let out a quiet sigh and your shoulders grew slack. The defeated look on your face was something new to her through all the years you've been together and it catches her off guard.

"Y/n, wait-"

"No, Jungeun. This needs to stop." You breathe out, because as painful as it was to say, you had to put your foot down instead of letting this cycle continue.

You were only hurting yourselves.

"We just need a bit more time. You know that we can fix this." She pleads and you shake your head, both desperate and frustrated at the same time. "Time won't fix this, not when neither of us can be brave enough to admit the truth."

She hates how it sounds like a breakup. But that was what made it worse.

You were never together to begin with.

“We can’t keep doing this, Jungeun. It’s only going to ruin everything we’ve worked for.” You try to reason but she shakes her head in a desperate attempt to have you change your mind. “But I really like you.”

And she sees it when you pause, because Jungeun knows that you were in too deep to say that you only liked her. She sees it in the way you look at her and the way you act towards her.

She knows that you’re dying from holding back with those three little words because it was make or break.

You just couldn’t risk it with the environment you both lived in.

“You know how I feel.” You breathe out, eyes turning glossy as tears begin building up, but you hold them back because you still had to face the rest of your members once you walked out the door. “But this can’t keep going on. I’m sorry.”

When you leave her room that night, none of the girls notice the difference. Jungeun doesn’t run after you nor do you run after her in the days that follow. Plastering a friendly look on your face when together, no one can see the toll it’s taking on either of you as you bury your feelings at the very back of your mind and focus on what mattered while she did the same.

However, it’s during one of Sooyoung’s recent vlogs where the older girl managed to pull you in with her and asked she did you makeup where Jungeun can feel the burning in her chest with how close your face was to her fellow leader.

And while Heejin was there with Haseul, she hates how close and comfortable you were with Sooyoung cradling your face and even sneaking in a kiss to your cheek every once in a while. Sooyoung was close to finishing and her expression lit up as she pinched your cheek when she showed your face to the camera.

“Wow! Y/n looks so pretty!” Heejin commented, awe laced in her tone as Sooyoung looked proud with her work before facing the camera. “You’re so cute, I could just kiss you!” She teased, drawing a laugh from your lips as you gave her a playful push. “You’ve been doing that even when you weren’t doing my makeup.”

“But you’re always denying my kisses!” She complained while trying to latch on to your arm as you pull your head back. “Because I don’t want them!”

“Yah! I’m your unnie, let me love you!”

The comment ended up with bouts of laughter from the members present, but Jungeun kept herself hidden in the corner before she eventually slipped back into her room and let her thoughts wander.

..

Grunting, you press your back against the wall of the practice room and let out a huff. Your legs were killing you with the amount of times you decided to go over the choreography of the dance you were studying. Since your schedule had yet to be filled, you opted for keeping yourself in practice just so your body wouldn’t be surprised once you had to start for your comeback.

Couldn’t they just tell you when to get ready?

Regardless, you did your best to just be prepared in the event that you did have to start practicing.

“You okay?” Kahei’s voice pulled you out of your thoughts and you lifted your head with a small smile despite the sweat running down your forehead. “Yeah, just a little tired. Thanks, unnie.” You respond before the older woman gives you a small pat on the head. “Don’t push it.” She says with a warning look and you nod your head, knowing that ever since your first performance for Butterfly, the girls would check up on you during practices.

After catching your breath, you were able to look around and see everyone who did come. Since Jiwoo was out doing her Chuu Can Do It episode, she was obviously not present to cause some noise in the room. Jinsoul was at the dorms with the rest of the maknae line except for Yerim and Heejin, who opted to come with you for practice. Sooyoung decided to stay back as well, just so there were people to look after the rest of the girls and that you wouldn’t come back to a burnt home.

Haseul had gone home for a bit, just to fix a few things, so you were only left alone with Kahei, Heejin, Jungeun, and Yerim. But even when you were all in the same room, the only person you were actually talking to was Kahei since Heejin was too busy with her workout and Yerim and Junguen were practicing a choreography of their own.

“Y/n, do you want to eat anything?” Kahei called from her place by the door, phone in hand and presumably talking with your leader. “Are you going to buy me food?” You ask with a little grin appearing on your face and the older girl playfully rolls her eyes.

“Another time. Haseul said she was stopping by the convenience store, so she’s asking.” She explained and you seem thoughtful for a while before shrugging your shoulders. “Can I have a drink instead? I want coffee.” You ask and the older girl shoots you an odd look. “You won’t be able to sleep if you drink coffee now.”

“I’ll be okay. I’m pretty sure I’ll be knocked out from practicing.” You reason and Kahei let out a sigh before eventually agreeing. “Can you tell Haseul unnie to buy me a sandwich?”

“Sure thing!”

While you were busy with stretching your legs on the floor, Jungeun glanced in your direction as Yerim took a break and wandered over to where Heejin had already cooled down from exercising. She wasn’t too happy about your lack of food intake after hours of practice, but then again, she isn’t too sure if you would take anything if it was coming from her.

“Unnie, Yves unnie is calling you.” Yerim’s voice broke you and the blonde out of what you were doing and her thoughts as you turned to see that your phone was, in fact, ringing on the desk at the corner of the room before scrambling to your feet.

Jungeun watches as you answer your friend's call and exit the practice room with the kind of smile on your face that could only indicate that something had happened in the dorm. However, it doesn't erase the ideas of you possibly moving on from Jungeun and falling for Sooyoung's charms.

Since Sooyoung was also known to be very open about her support and affections towards you, it would only make sense that you might end up falling for her instead.

The thought scared her.

With her mind going a mile a minute, none of you were prepared as she jumped to her feet the moment you came back into the room after your call with the other girl. You looked clueless since she hasn't exactly approached you since your decision of stopping whatever it was going on between the both of you, but her next course of action surprised not only you, but everyone else present in the room.

With a hand to the side of your neck, the blonde tugged you forward before you felt the familiarity of her lips against yours. The surprise caused you to drop your phone before your hands went instinctively to her waist to anchor yourself.

All the longing and aching made your body react and almost instantly forget that you weren't supposed to be doing this anymore, but with Jungeun's warmth and the slight squeeze she'd given you, it didn't take long to allow yourself to get lost in her touch.

The only time you both pull apart is when the sound of a thud resonated in the, otherwise, quiet room meets your ears and Haseul stood at the entrance with a completely baffled look on her face, matching the rest of the girls as they all but stopped what they were doing and stared at the two of you. And in that moment, you snapped out of whatever daze you were in and looked back to the blonde, eyes wide as you covered your mouth.

"What are you doing?" You asked with panic lacing your tone and Jungeun stared at you, her gaze unwavering as she took your hand in both of hers. "You said we couldn't do this if neither of us will be honest about how we feel, right?" She says with a steady voice and you feel your heart jump at the spark in her eyes.

"I want to be with you. I'm tired of acting like you're just a friend to me when you're so much more than that." Her heart is racing, but her courage doesn't waver as she keeps eye contact with you.

She just needs to know you still felt the same.

"Jungeun, I-" She senses the hesitation in you, even when you don't pull away, and she sucks in a deep breath before bringing your hand against her cheek. Her soft eyes stare at you with so much warmth that it was practically radiating off of her and made you feel warm.

"I love you."

The words are hushed, but still heavy and you feel your own heart skipping a beat when she refuses to let go.

Neither of you have said those three words because it weighed heavily for both of you and you knew that it would change the course of your relationship. But she said it before you even had the courage to admit it to her.

"I love you, too." You murmur quietly, though your eyes quickly glance over her shoulder to see the rest of your members still absorbing what had just transpired. “But what do we do now?” You ask softly and she bites her lip before lowering your hand, though refusing to let go, as she faced your present members.

“I know you have a lot of questions, but before you say anything about Y/n and I, there’s nothing wrong about it and I hope you can respect our relationship.”

There’s a long pause in the practice room and your eyes fall on your leader, a bit more worried about her reaction since she's only just gotten back from her hiatus. But the seriousness of her expression makes your heart sink that you had to hold your breath while tightening your hold on Jungeun's hand.

"Is this true?"

Jungeun nods her head without hesitation as she looks at Haseul and Kahei, though the latter didn't seem too upset, having gotten over the initial shock. In fact, after finally understanding what was happening, the eldest looked almost happy with the announcement. "It took me a while to realize, but I do love Y/n, and I wish it didn't take hurting both of us for me to realize it."

Haseul gave the both of you a good look before her expression eventually melted and she happily walked over to envelope you both in a warm embrace that surprised both of you, but you both accepted it either way, relieved especially when Kahei had joined in, muttering a quiet “I’m so proud of you”.

Heejin came bounding over once your leader let you go and the slightly younger girl nearly knocked you over when she launched at you with a grin on her face. “I’m so happy for you!” She cheered when you caught your balance, forcing you to release the blonde whilst Yerim still stood silently in her corner of the room.

“I knew you were hiding something but this is so amazing!” As Heejin continued to blabber about how happy she was for you, you searched for Jungeun, only to see her staring at the youngest girl present and you soon turned to find Yerim with an unreadable expression on her face.

Though you were surprised that your members were fine and accepting of not only your sexuality, but also your relationship, you were sure that not everyone would be as accepting as others. However, Yerim was like a little sister to Jungeun, so you understood why she was worried with the usually bright girl’s silence.

“Choerry-ah.” Jungeun called softly, but the girl only frowned in response and Haseul looked as though she was ready to intervene if needed as Heejin finally released you with one final squeeze.

“Yerimmie, I don’t expect you to be fine with this, but I hope that you don’t get upset with-”

“You chose Y/n unnie over Soul unnie?” The girl suddenly spoke up and your brows knitted together while Jungeun looked surprised by the question as she waved her hands in the air. “Jinsoul unnie and I weren’t anything!” She clarified, making Yerim’s frown deepened and you were quick to understand where this was coming from.

Jesus, why were your members so extra?

“But I thought you and Jinsoul unnie were my parents.” Yerim protests and Jungeun finally let out a groan before she walked over to the younger girl and smacked her shoulder. “Yah! I really thought you were upset!”

You couldn’t help but watch the two with a smile before Heejin latched onto you one more time. “I know that you might have had a hard time with this, but I hope you know that we’re really happy for you both. And when you plan on telling the others, I’m sure they’ll be just as happy, if not more.” She states and you smile at her words, resting your head against hers. “Thank you.”

“Can I have my girlfriend now? I haven’t held her in a while.” You look up to Jungeun’s pout directed at you and you giggle before lightly patting your friend on the side and then detaching yourself from her to welcome your girlfriend’s arms instead.

Your body melted into her and she let out a small sigh of content as she pressed another kiss to your temple. This was the first time you’ve felt warm again since the fight you’ve both had and maybe, just maybe, this was all really worth it in the end.

[ur-favorite-queer-queen]

New Start

For Maribat March day 15 theme new start

Master List

Marinette was lucky, she could admit that. Not because of the pocket-sized goddess of creation and luck she carried in her purse, but because of where she is. Sure, living with a magical emotional terrorist isn’t ideal, but it’s better than what her fate would have been had she never been found. 

Growing up on the streets of Gotham had been rough to put it lightly. Very lightly. In her time she had seen many good souls come and go, some to their deaths, some to better lives. She was grateful she was the latter, not many she knew had the opportunity she had to have a new start.

In other circumstances, Tom and Sabine would be horrible parents. After all 90 percent of the time they left her to her own devices. However in this case, it’s fine. For one, she was once a street kid, she knows how to take care of herself. And she is also Scarlet Luck, protector of Paris, wielder of the Ladybug miraculous, and newly appointed guardian of the miraculous. So them turning a blind eye to her sudden disappearances did wonders for her. 

All she needed in this life was a roof over her head and some decent food. Having her adoptive parents be bakers was a plus too. 

The only downside to this life was school. Not because she hated learning or the places school provided. No, she loved sitting in the silence of the library and doing her schoolwork or reading a book. And she especially loved the art room, where she found her love of designing and sewing. 

The problem was the people, the staff that mattered to her and her future, were all pushovers and she wasn’t allowed to transfer into Ms. Mendeleiev’s class. Ms. Bustier was the type to let the kids figure it out on their own, rather than step in when she was most needed. And Principal Damocles shouldn’t even be a principal with how much he caves in when it comes to the Mayor’s daughter or Rossi. 

She was thankful, however, that within her first month the students at Francoise Dupont learned not to mess with her. Or speak to her. Or be near her in general. And she was perfectly okay with that. She quite liked her spot in the back with Nathaniel, one of the only people she considered a friend. 

They had a silent agreement, which was to be silent and leave the other alone. Nathaniel would draw while Marinette would sketch and the 2 had each other's backs. Like when Marinette would whisper Nathaniel the answers during English and he would do the same with history. 

He along with Marc, Ondine, Aurore, Mireillie, and Kagami were the only ones she considered friends. Which means they were the only ones that knew why she was so on edge with the Wayne family being in Paris. Not only did none of them know how to control their emotions, but she was sure that Jason Todd-Wayne was bound to be akumatized. Why? Because every kid that was ever on the streets of Gotham knew his story. 

He was street smart, a dork, but most importantly aggressive. On the streets he picked fights with any who tried to cross him, and when he was adopted he fought the rich kids that went to Gotham Academy. That was another thing everyone knew, he hit it big when he got adopted by the billionaire that was Bruce Wayne. While she wasn’t on the street when he was she knew he was trouble. The whole Wayne family was, whether they knew it or not. 

She already had to deal with Chat every battle, she did not want to have to deal with one of the Waynes becoming an akuma. Not only would it cause an international affair considering how important they are to America, but it could get the attention of American reporters and then the Justice League might want to get involved. She didn't want to deal with the Justice League. 

Kagami was the only one brave enough to point out how she might be afraid that people from her hometown were coming to Paris. But she was wrong and Marinette made sure she never brought it up again. Through whatever means necessary.

Now one reason that Kagami was her best friend was because they agreed on something. Never hesitate. If you have an opportunity, take it. Something important that every street kid knows. 

Well here she was, standing in front of her classroom, hesitating. She could hear her classmates talking away, whichever Waynes were here trying to gain control of the situation. She guessed her teacher was either doing something out of the classroom or not bothering to get the class in check. 

With one final wish that today wouldn't be as shitty as she hoped she opened the door. According to Nathaniel she threw it open. 

And she was right, at the front of the classroom were 3 Wayne's trying to get her class to quiet down. Buster was nowhere in sight. 

Since Nino and Adrien were closest to the door they noticed her first, stopping their conversation and trying to 'subtly' stare at her. The others quickly following their lead. All eyes, including the Waynes, were staring at her. Wonderful.

Literally all she had to do was roll her eyes and everyone averted their eyes. It was always like something out of a movie. She made her way up the stairs up to Nathaniel and her seats. Grabbing a couple of macarons out of her bag she handed them over to him before setting her notebook and pencil on her desk. 

It looked like Lila was about to say something, but a glare had her swallowing her words back down her throat. Staring straight ahead she raised her eyebrow at the Waynes that were still staring, wondering if they were going to try and continue what they were originally trying to discuss. 

After a moment the oldest among them started talking again, the other two joined in, however she could tell when they would all cast her glances. She simply acted blissfully unaware, writing notes down for her and Nathaniel while he drew. She had no idea what his grades would be like if it weren't for her. 

-

This whole week had been full of surprises for Bruce. First the League finds out that there has been a magical terrorist in Paris for 3 years that they didn't know about, and these past 3 years children have been fighting him. 

So his family being detectives, they were sent to try and get information on the ‘akuma class’. He wanted it to just be him, Dick, Tim, and maybe Cass, but of course Dick wanted the whole family to come. Try to make a family vacation out of it despite the fact that there was a magical emotional terrorist that they were trying to track down and they needed to keep their emotions in check. He means no offense but that is something neither Jason nor Damian can do. 

But somehow Dick was able to get the whole family to come because only Dick can do that. And now he had Tim and Dick with him to try to talk to the akuma class about a presentation on starting a business a ploy to try and subtly get information out of them. 

They had already done background checks on them all and their families just to be safe and were thoroughly impressed by what they saw. Many of them were gifted in sports, arts, and academics, so perhaps they were just unlucky. 

The only one that concerned him was Marinette Dupain-Cheng. Only Alfred was aware that the girl was from Gotham, she was specifically a street kid. Adopted 6 years ago by Sabine Cheng and Tom Dupain the girl seemed quite bright. She had excellent grades and was in the art club. However he feared what his children might do with this information. And if another reason was because she had black hair, blue eyes, and a guaranteed tragic backstory being from Gotham that set his adoption instincts on fire NO ONE HAD TO KNOW! 

So here he was with Dick and Tim, trying to get this ‘akuma class’ to quiet down so they could start the presentation. The teacher has stepped out of the room to check something with the principal and ‘give them the floor’. She probably wanted to get a reason to escape this class, he might try to get an investigation done on this school and their faculty. 

From what he observed, Marinette seemed to be absent while most of the class had seemed to be paying attention to this one girl with brown hair in a sausage hairstyle, Lila Rossi, a pathological liar, although the class didn’t seem to know that. All except a redheaded boy in the back, Nathaniel Kurtzberg, a pink haired girl on the second row, Alixandra Kubdel, and a boy with a green shirt and glasses on the third row, Maxton Kante. There was also a blond boy, Adrien Agreste, who seemed to be listening to what the girl was saying with a fake smile he knew all too well. Poor boy. 

His sons weren’t having much more luck trying to gain the attention of the class. The redhead looked to be drawing, the green shirt and glasses boy was working on what appeared to be a robot, while the pink haired girl was on her phone. Every once in a while it seemed like she sent them a sympathetic glance, the other two boys too involved in what they were doing to give them any sympathy. 

Just as he was sure his kids were about to reach their breaking points in walked the one person he hoped not to see. She slammed the door open and suddenly the whole class quieted down immediately. Now his sons were looking at her as well. She couldn’t have been more than 5’3 and she was only 16, yet she managed to silence this whole class just by appearing. 

The class also seemed to be staring at her before she rolled her eyes and they all averted their gazes. It was one of the most movie-like things he had ever witnessed. 

She walked up the steps to the back, with each step she seemed to command attention before digging into her bag and handing Nathaniel who had once been doodling a bag of macarons. He seemed to appreciate them as he gave her a small smile before proceeding to munch on one. 

Lila who had once had the attention of the class seemed to be fuming now that the attention was off of her. It seemed like she was about to say something but stopped when she caught sight of the glare Marinette was giving her. 

Marinette then proceeded to turn her attention to him and his sons, raising an eyebrow as if to ask if they were going to start. Out of the corner of his eye he could see his sons exchange a look he knew all too well, before starting the presentation. And if he or his sons casted looks over to Marinette one too many times, no one noticed. 

Bonus - 

“WE FOUND A NEW WAYNE!” Dick shouted, far too happy with his discovery. 

“Tt, what are you on about Grayson?” Damian scoffed, curiosity and jealousy bubbling in his mind at the thought of a new Wayne. 

“There’s a girl in the akuma class, Marinette Dupain-Cheng. She had black hair and blue eyes, both things needed to be adopted by Bruce.” Tim stated. 

“Does she have a tragic backstory?” Jason jokingly asked. 

“Do not look up anything on Ms. Dupain-Cheng. She has a family and I will not be adopting her. Am I clear?” Bruce demanded, waiting for everyone to agree before going to take a shower. 

“Babs?” Cass questioned, knowing the girl had to have found something. 

“Looking,” Babs replied, “Oh.” She stopped typing and just stared at the screen. 

“What’d you find?” Steph asked the question they were all wondering from Babs’ unusual reaction. 

“Guys,” Babs started, turning the screen to face them, “She’s from Gotham.” 

And from there all hell broke loose.

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Inspired by this post I saw a while back: 

Marinette being a street kid from Gotham but had no previous connection to any of the Waynes was intriguing so I did it. I’m probably going to do a backstory chapter later on, just unsure which day I’ll do it on. 

Of course yesterday I was early so today I was late. The universe needs its balance. So sorry for the late post guys, I blame the universe. 

@maribatmarch-2k21

[scrawnytreedemon]

Little thing, little thing, Weak and small, I must Admit your pluck impresses Me, but nothing more,

Big eyes, blue eyes, face Like a newborn fawn's, You have no idea what you're Coming up against, and it Shows,

A dance of blades, hardly so, It's like teaching a toddler to Waltz, but I deign myself Nevertheless, because when You rule a world of demons, You get little chance for such Menial prance,

But stay out of my way, you, Run along and play in the Flowers, as befits your kind, I am good, I am kind, but Only for so long, and behind My painted lips, dear, I bear Bloodied teeth,

You, however, are either Stupid, stubborn, or both, You have a word for that Irritant in particular, 'Brave,' I can't help laughing, at the Insistence on bestowing valourance To a trait like that,

But I'm a busy man, a busy, busy Man, and you'll solve yourself Soon enough, either by sense or By impaling yourself, on their Blades or your own, What a lovely thing it'd be, Your sweet ichor drenching so Sacred an edge, defiling both,

So I thought,

But, as destiny would have it, You prove yourself harder to Shake than that, Harder to Lose, like a parasite-- Though I suppose you're more free than That, eh? May-so a gadfly, rather, Yes, I like the sound of that, I must move along, Don't follow me, Not unless you want me to devour You, too, like I did all the other little Boys and girls who strayed too Close,

The weeks pass by with little Complaint, and I'm permitted to Search in peace, I am not, However, a fool, nor to be taken As such, and I know you haven't Stalled, not for a moment, I learned that, a little while ago Now, I think, that you will not Rest, not until you fulfill your Purpose, that purpose so bestowed Upon you, written into your heart Since before time began, That which you mistake for 'love,' My boy, It occurs to me here that we have This alike,

Ha, What idiocy, To compare a snake and a worm,

The insurgence at the bridge Comes like a trip into icy waters, I vow then to have your blood, To gorge myself on every scream, Every drop, until there's nothing Left of you, and my stomach strains, It's all my fault, really: show a man A little mercy and he inevitably thinks Himself your equal! You, I will swallow You, whole or in pieces, Whatever proves least resistent,

Damn it to shit! Pardon my language, But how, oh how, am I supposed to Find that spirit maiden now? Every ray of sunlight seems a flick of Her hair, every glint of dew a sparkle In her eye, the opalescent glimmer of A half-intact Goddess Plume yet Another mirage, yet another mockery Of her manifest glory-- Though perhaps Not so, they were hers once, after all, Either way, I get the feeling you live Like this, too, waiting for magic signs, To see her again, Dear me, it almost sounds like I'm in Love, doesn't it? I'd fall, dear, if just To set you fuming, if only to have you Watch on with horror and a jealousy Greener than your robes, They say Two's company and three's a crowd, And I love a good show, the only Question is, how long will you be Performing?

You dance better, faster, and it sends Me into a rage, You don't even have the goodness to Cast a meaningful glance when I show Myself to you, offer you a sight so lovely, A chance to behold that which is wrought By gods before you die, you spit in the Face of my master and his mother before Her when you harden your gaze as much As you do mine, Tell me hero, what would Din make of you, Turning your nose up at her handiwork? Wrath, indignation so righteous it makes One sick, a retribution so divine it sends Waves of nausea down your spine, Now raise that sword boy! Hit me like You mean it! Surely, boy, you wouldn't Make it so that your goddess chose a Whelp, would you?

Do her justice if not yourself, though I'd Say there's no difference between the Honor of the servant and that of his Master, Glory flows forth as disgrace reflects Back, and you paint a lackadaisical Image, O sacred youth,

You wouldn't need 'bravery', not if You knew your place, not if you Truly bore witness of your security As crusader, paladin, defender just And mighty, There would be no need for this 'Valiant' act, this psuedo-gallance,

I ought not to deign myself to such Lectures, really, I am not your Teacher, and you are not my student, Nor my brother, or my lover, my friend or My son, It's a flaw of mine, really, being so Overcome with setting things straight, It does neither of us good, and I Suppose it must make a pitiful image Of my master, but I cannot help it, Not anymore than your friend can Help speaking of numbers and Probabilities, of walking you through Procedures myriad done a dozen before, I think, sometimes, maybe, if I were of meagre flesh, demonic Or divine need not matter, I'd Be a teacher, You make me ache, a little, I wonder why,

I don't see you, after that, Not face to face, but whenever I can spare time, and you're Out there, clambering among The turf thick and dusty, fingers Knotted in the rope-like vines, I watch-- Distantly, I'd assure, But that would be a lie, and in Truth, there've been many a time Where I'd wait just behind your ear, Where when you fell asleep, Deeming, foolishly so, might I add, That this wretched land would be an Apt place to do so, I'd chase the Monsters from your bedside, Pluck the walltulas from above your Head, and when the weather turned, When a storm would come thundering Down your way, I'd take what I can, And wake you, with many tries, again, Might I add, I don't know how you live, I don't know Why I let you, all I know is that it's Getting late, and you ought to run along, Sky child, Hear your birds can't fly at night,

Time, time, time, even time can be bent, And as I do, you follow me through even Still, How romantic, I'm almost touched, if it Weren't for her and not I, because now Instead it's not only an irritant, but a Detriment, Why, silly boy, do you wish to throw away Your life?

My patience is running out, You're too quick, boy! Things like These take time, can't you see? Can't you understand what it takes To be me?

Up, up, up we go, walking in the air, Dancing in a flamelit sky, No better place for a final greeting, a Final meeting, a final waltz, the Last ballet to end it all, You're in your best clothes, worn And thin, and I my best skin, Bearing my finest diamonds, The clanging of pearly sword against a dermis Jet black and glimmering, We're going off like fireworks, We're brighter than all the stars in The night sky,

You've grown so much since then, Since you were that wide-eyed fawn, Scrambling for purchase in Skyview- Temple, you've actually grown out your Antlers, now, a young buck, pride of the Forest, now, Pride of mine, It makes me ache, And I realise, with horror, That I don't want to fight you,

You have made me soft, so soft,

And that is your greatest offense Of all.

—Waltz of the Gemset Deer

[anayaahwrites]

KOT ficlet #6 (Kudou Chika/Houzuki Satowa)

(Events based after the most recent update that had me screaming into oblivion.)

Needle in a thread

His first thought is, not them.

He recalls his horror when they took away the one person who had loved him, the one that lit fireworks in his darkness.

But before he had time to mourn, the torch had been passed—like some sort of metaphorical relay race—into fresh, affectionate, and welcoming hands. They cared, nurtured, and gave purpose to his existence.

The child hated by a parent, the child of calamity.

Of disaster.

And now that he’s built a home, a hideaway to rush back to whenever things seemed too rough, like hell he’d let the demons of his past have it their way.

He drops down carefully, one knee after another, placing folded hands in front of the head tucked in between his legs.

Because Chika is desperate and he has no pride to protect to begin with, so pleading before them to let him just live outweighed any sense of shame he’d feel.

But he’s naive to think Uzuki cares.

There was something bizzare about the boy since he’d met him, how he changed based on what the situation called for—like a snake shedding layers of its skin.

The light at the end of the tunnel vanishes, but Chika pushes on, pouring the deepest parts of his soul in front of the people that ruined him once before.

Because Chika refused to let his torch dim, the flame protected by so many, he couldn’t be any more grateful.

Uzuki snickers, instructing Abiko and taking a blow to the face.

“I’ll tell everyone you did this to me.” He smiles.

Chika’s light is bright.

But his darkness is all-consuming. It wraps him like a blanket of thorns, clawing to tear chunks of his soul away. In the end, who could he save?

Who could save him?

“I’m tired of all of this!”

He snaps his head, facing the voice, breathing life into his own.

Houzuki stands with her back to him, confronting the men with such ferocity, they stutter for a second.

“To hell with your ‘ruin his life’ nonsense,” she huffs, swinging her hair like a whip. “I’m taking him home!”

He had so many questions.

Houzuki grumbles under her breath all the way out, twisting and turning from one street to the other, tugging him behind her like a four-year-old.

Why was she here to begin with?

Usually, he’d shrug her away. He’d tease the ever loving crap out of her and watch Houzuki turn a brighter shade of crimson every time while subtly keeping his distance from the intense urge to hold her close.

But today, when he looks at her, Chika sees more than just Satowa.

He sees a woman with the will of a stallion, dulling her blade in front of no one, however intimidating they might be.

He sees the hand of a woman he could not help but admire.

Couldn’t help but love.

He stops walking, looking at the fingers wrapped delicately around his wrist as if Chika realised for the first time that he was holding the hand of the woman he fell in love with a long time ago.

“Are you tired?” comes her tender voice filled with concern, as she looks around, “Do you want to sit for a while?”

He looks into her worried eyes and quickly drops his gaze, to the hand she wouldn’t leave. On any normal day, by now Satowa would let go, a shade of bright pink spreading down her arm to her toes.

Today she holds his hand, firm and gentle, both at once, neither shaking nor blushing at the contact that was progressively setting his nerves on fire.

And admitting his feelings was easy. It was easy for him to look at every minute he’d spent with her—in sorrow, in joy—that Chika was irrevocably in love with her.

He’d give the Sun if she demanded it, the moon adorned as an elegant crescent ring around her finger. He’s so in love that he forgets his past, that he could endanger Houzuki and her entire family.

But it looms around him like a constant-present shadow. So he sharpens his facade to protect her.

“You shouldn’t follow me to places like this,” he swallows, maintaining his composure as best as he can. “It’s dangerous. Are you stupid? Don't pull a stunt like this again.”

He steals a glimpse at her, pushing strands of loose hair behind her ear with not an ounce of regret or fear of her actions.

“If anything, you’re the stupid one,” she replies, ebony eyes staring straight into his as he raises an eyebrow in question.

“For thinking you’d need to face this alone.”

He stills, feeling her thumb stroke his bruised knuckles, eyes steadily turning a shade lighter.

“I understand,” she says, “I understand you’ve been fighting your battles by yourself all these years. You feel responsible for everything—like you deserve divine punishment for sins you didn’t commit to begin with,”

“But for once, point the blame to those that deserve it.” her grip tightens. “Tell them to,” she sucks in a sharp breath.

“Eat shit for all I care.”

Her gaze softens as he peers into her eyes; for solace, for the comfort he’s never had. That he’s never asked for.

“You’re only human, Kudou, and humans make mistakes. We all do. Does that mean we need to be crucified for it?”

He shakes his head from one side to another in an unspoken response.

“The past won’t change, no matter how hard we try. But the future.....” she grimaces, “Our circumstances are different now. No one helped you then—no one stood for you,”

Satowa’s smile is melancholy, like rain and snow at once, as she cups his cheek with her free hand.

“But you have me now,” she whispers, lacing her fingers into the groove between his. He peers into those abysmal eyes and sees a promise.

“The only day I’ll let go of this hand will be the day I die.”

In a flash, Chika breaks.

He shatters like smashed glass, scattering across the ground in shards of built up agony. He feels the tears forming in his eyes as he looks into hers, chin wobbling uncontrollably. His heart squeezes in his chest as everything sinks in—Dad, Mom, Grandpa, everyone he’s loved and lost.

And she stays there throughout, rubbing warm circles into his much bigger palm, a distant sorrow in her eyes.

This woman, this beautiful, wonderful woman, had saved him on more occasions than he could count.

She was the white to his black, yin to his yang painting his life with every colour in the spectrum between them.

The Sun sets not far behind, fiery orange encircling her like a golden halo. And that’s all it takes—the gleaming sky behind her, the tears in her eyes, the ones in his.

He pulls her forward gently, letting Satowa fall against him as every type of warmth rushes through his veins.

She stills for a moment, leaning against him, not a hair on her head moving. Chika gives her time, space enough to let go if this isn’t what she wants. God knows he doesn’t want to force her.

When she leaves his hand, Chika thinks it’s all over. And that’s okay.

He’s okay with that.

Instead, Satowa throws her arms around his neck, face sinking into the groove of his chest, nuzzling the space where his heart beats erratically.

He takes a moment to register, but when realisation sets in, Chika pulls her tighter to himself, fingers working through the strands of her hair, chin resting comfortably above her head.

In those small arms, Chika feels the affection she holds radiating with every fibre of her being. She stands on her toes, reaching higher to lay her head on his shoulder. He draws her up by the waist, anchoring her safely to his chest.

“You’re not alone,” she whispers into his collarbone, the touch of her lips, a second of pure bliss for him. He shivers at the contact, holding his breath to stop his thoughts from escalating.

“You’re not alone,” Satowa repeats, chin resting against his chest as she stares into his eyes, lowering one hand to trace his jaw in short, quiet strokes.

“You have me forever.”

When Chika kisses Satowa, he feels everything all at once. The rustling of the leaves dull, his heartbeat overpowering every sound in existence.

When she kisses him back, realisation sinks in that this woman, this beautiful wonderful woman, would give him the world too.

Chika stands in the centre of their universe, two supernovae colliding against the speed of the world, her breath against his skin like warm sunlight streaming in through a window.

When Chika looks into her eyes, he sees himself in them, trapped in a circle of warm ebony. He watches her smile brighten when she raises herself just enough to wipe the tears he doesn’t remember crying.

Today, when he looks at Satowa, Chika sees salvation. He sees his world.

“Forever,” he sighs as they walk back side by side, fingers intertwined, like needle and thread. She gazes at him, instinctively moving closer.

For once, Chika would let himself be protected. Because Satowa was a force to reckon with. She’s fierce and brave and he’s safe in her arms.

Chika really smiles then, one so wide his eyes crinkle and vision narrows to the one person who matters more than any other.

The world has to allow him this one moment of greed.

“Forever isn’t long enough.”

Yay! I wanted to write something for so long! This idea came to me after randomly listening to "Safe and Sound" by Taylor Swift.

Thank you for reading, and being patient with me. I love y'all so much <<3

[yandere-sins]

The Exception

My friend let me try playing Hades on her switch and well... I kinda liked it. Namely, I liked all the characters, so my brain went like “what if they were yandere” and I had an idea for this story that I threw together this morning before working on the Fox Wedding (: The latter isn’t done yet, but this sure is, so who knows, mayhaps some of you will enjoy it! Just tried to answer the question how we could get Thanatos to whisk us away.

Characters: Yandere!Thanatos x Reader Warnings: Yandere, Blood, War, Wounds/Impaling, Major Character Death (???) or well dying, I read into greek history for almost an hour but if I gotten something wrong then so be it

Thanatos had seen enough of the world to know that he didn't want to stay on the surface forever. 

The current battle spreading before him was a mere reason to sigh deeply as he watched bodies fall left and right, their souls soon leaving to a better, or perhaps worse, place. It was mandatory he stayed, but Thanatos was well aware of which side was winning and which was losing. It was his duty and his work to know these things, even though it didn't make the fighting any less futile in his eyes.

Letting his gaze wander over the battlefield, he watched the red splatters on the ground, heard the crushing sounds of iron against iron and the cacophony of fearful and devastating screams. He still couldn't believe Zagreus would want to come to such a place. A place where there was futile fighting and too much light, but perhaps, it was a world that fit the Prince of the Underworld, as he was the same, even if Thanatos only recognized this fact bitterly. 

Finally, the battle was closing in on its end, just like the hundreds of people that found their death because of it. The ones who weren't dead yet slowly but surely started to hesitate and retreat. Even as the personification of death, Thanatos reckoned that a pointless death was scary, even though so many humans chose it over desertion. Their death was inevitable, preordained by Thanatos sisters. Still, he had seen many hold on to the last sparks of hope that they could escape Thanatos' grasp. 

And then, on the other side of the coin, were those that practically would have offered their life to Hades and fought to the end.

You weren't an exception. Yes, your quest and pride were your downfall, and by the gleam in your eyes Thanatos could tell you knew. You knew and recognized that you'd die. However, as if you were spiting him personally, you still continued to fight ahead of everyone else, gaining questioning glances from your comrades and contempt from your enemies, which you pulled to the ground one after another and sending them to hell. 

Many before you had this overzealous compulsion to make that best out of their inevitable demise. Thanatos would admit that yes, most had a good reason for it, like saving their family or fighting for their own life. Others simply lucked out on the gift of pride and ignorance, forcing themselves and occasionally many more lives with them into the deep, dark pits of death. 

What was your reason? Thanatos wondered. 

He still had time before he needed to take action, he could allow himself a short - minuscule, really - different thought than his upcoming work, and you presented yourself so nicely to him as the incarnation of death waited for the end of today's battle. It wasn't often that he had the leisure to let his thoughts wander, so Thanatos intended to use these few seconds, which would fall under the radar, to still his curiosity.

By the looks of it, you weren't an inexperienced fighter. Or perhaps, you were just a farmer judging by your muscles. Surely, you seemed enthusiastic about your task, so were you fighting for something more significant than the glory of your country? Family? A loved one? Thanatos couldn't help but be curious about what your drive was, as he had seen so many reasons, yet they were all the same. Perhaps, yours was new?

Even so, you were graceful as you swung your sword around. What did he know about footwork, but at least, yours seemed to pay off as you weren't dead yet. When one of your foes managed to smack off your helmet, Thanatos believed that was it, but alas, you regained your strength, charging at the very same attacker. 

In a way, fighting was like an elaborate play. The only difference was that neither of the parties knew the other one's move. The person reacting better was the winner. He couldn't find joy in watching wars, but even Thanatos had to admit that it was a joy watching you. Even if you lacked the enthusiasm as the heroic shades that lingered below, like Theseus, had, you fought a fight worth mentioning in the books as well. 

Every move you made, Thanatos could see the calculations in your eyes, that keen shine reflecting in them. The sun seemed to break through the clouds just to reach out to you, making your armor sparkle in its rays. Yes, you were a formidable human, and Thanatos caught himself thinking that it was a shame you were fighting even if you looked so beautifully while doing it. 

Taking another deep breath, he could see the swirls in the air left by it. While the winter wasn't affecting him, no matter how little clothes he wore, Thanatos felt a second of pitiful understanding for everyone who had to fight in those conditions. Undoubtedly, the cold armors, freezing hands and weapons, and frozen ground were another nemesis for every soldier out here. Even if their bodies stayed warm from adrenaline and running, it certainly was another reason many of your human bodies gave out quicker, merely submitting to their fate. It was fair enough for Thanatos. It meant his work was over faster, and judging by you being circled and the other soldiers at your side beginning to see the end coming towards them with long spears and sharp swords, it was all over soon. 

You had fought bravely, that much he could give you. Perhaps you had impressed him enough to put in an unusual good word for you with Hypnos, who'd pass it on to Hades himself, granting you a shot on being put into Elysium. But your fate had long been decided, and as you fell to the ground, the battlefield erupted in victorious screams, announcing your time of death. 

And also, his start of work. 

As the winners retreated one after one, happy whenever they found a friend that survived too, Thanatos passed by them and onto the battlefield instead. Unseen by the human eye, he began his duty of reaping, one soul after the other, as mangled and frustrated over their death as they were, following his orders as he shushed them away. Usually, some pleaded and bargained with him for another shot of life, but even if Thanatos had wanted, there was no way for him to help them. But that day, everyone seemed awfully aware that there was no negotiating nor mercy waiting for them as they looked at his figure, frightened and frustrated. A pointless battle, with meaningless deaths, brought forth the self-pity in them, but this wasn't the first battle Thanatos tended to, so he felt nothing akin to that. It also wasn't his duty to take care of the souls gathered here, as it was Hermes' job to lead to them. 

He had something very different on his agenda. You. 

It was unfortunate for both of you, but when he reached you, you had yet to breathe your last breath. One eye slowly and in pain, opened, the other one damaged from the blow to the head you had received. However, as you looked at him, serene clarity laid in your gaze, and you recognized him, mayhaps by the giant scythe he carried around. Your stare was clear and less afraid than he expected you to be when acknowledging him, but you closed your eyes as a cough overcame you, hot, red blood dripping down your lips. 

"Guess that's it," you croaked, and Thanatos could only stare. Conversing… wasn't his strong suit, and there wasn't exactly a reason to talk to you.

"Are you going to kill me?" you continued, undeterred by his silence, and Thanatos weighed his actions. "No, of course not," he eventually spoke, shaking his head slowly, the hood on his head shifting along to his movement. 

"Ouch, that's cruel. You'll just wait until I die like this?" 

Your words were nothing he hadn't heard before, and he didn't feel offended by them. However, he didn't expect your lips to briefly curl into a smile, adding a jesting notion to what you said. Even that wasn't new, but… it struck a chord inside the usual stoic bringer of death. "I can't end your suffering," Thanatos explained, hoping you'd simply know about the unspoken rule that he couldn't harm you. 

"I think, I get it," you heaved, feeling worse by the minute. "You are just making sure I know I am supposed to die here."

That assumption wasn't wrong, even though there had been more playing into his service than just that. Too many kept trying to escape their fate, and sort of, Thanatos was just checking and cleaning up what would be left. You still had some time before your organs would fail and finally take you to the grave, different from the other souls that were already leaving for their new home. 

"No, you will die here," he retorted firmly. 

"I could," you chuckled, followed by another painful cough. 

"Don't test me, Mortal."

In between deep breaths, you allowed yourself a short laugh. Just like him, you were probably aware that there was nothing worse that could happen to your situation, so his threat was just a way he hoped to shut you up with. In silence, he watched over you, until eventually, your eye opened up again. This time your gaze was searching for him - or something really - but your sight had already begun to cloud. No matter how proud and achieved you are in life, in the face of death, everyone looked the same.

 "I think I did a good job. You know, fighting. Thought that if I already had to do it, I might as well give it my damn best."

More coughing. Thanatos watched the puddle of blood around you grow by the second. The spear inside your body must have been stirring up your insides the more you talked. Thanatos had expected something like this, you, young as you still were, had been led by the belief that doing your best could make up for the fact that you'd die. "But in the end, it was worth nothing, right? We lost after all."

Thanatos could only stare as he wondered what you expected him to say. He came here, knowing your life would end here, so really, the hope you had put into yourself didn't have the same disappointment to him now as it did to you. And yet, as he listened to you, seeing your body battered up with cuts and bruises, for the first time in centuries, he felt something akin to pity for you, and you specifically.

"Why did you fight then?" he asked, perhaps against your expectations. 

"Why? Because they told us too. The King ordered us to fight this battle, and only he could have known how many soldiers our opponent would bring."

"You could have run." Thanatos tried to stay as detached from you as possible, though it didn't quite work, your words taking their influence on him. "Can you?" you retorted before letting out a long sigh. Death was near, literally as well as figuratively. 

"Can you run from your duties? You don't have to do this either, do you?" 

"I do--"

"Really?"

There was no immediate response this time, your question justified, despite your little mortal soul undoubtedly never understanding the burdens on the shoulders of Gods. The world would stop if they all decided to not continue their work and fulfill their duties and expectations. If Thanatos stopped, no one would die anymore, and but the suffering of everything would never disappear too. 

"Dying sucks," you whispered, turning your head away. 

"I reckon," he muttered indifferently. Not like he could talk about it from experience. It must be painful, dreadful, and, depending on the circumstances, frustrating too. Right now, though he couldn't imagine the extent, you must have felt so hopeless and so, so scared. There wasn't much other reason for your banter.

"Thanatos… I always thought it was a pretty name, even if everyone feared it." Regaining his attention after finding himself momentarily lost in thoughts, he looked down at you again, watching as your eyelid closed slowly. "Say what you want, but you can't blame them for fearing death, and alas, me."

"Perhaps if they talked to you, they wouldn't be so afraid."

"Meaning you don't feel so afraid anymore?"

A smile danced over your lips once more, a truly unusual sight for a soul so close to their end, and especially after talking to him. Hypnos often teased Thanatos with being too formal and dutiful to be amusing, and Hades beware, comforting. Though he didn't care for his twin's words, yours did make him feel... happy. 

"Let's go then," you whispered, and Thanatos kneeled down, his hand falling to your wrist, listening to your pulse. Even with the feeling of your heart still desperately pumping blood through your body, only to lose it through your wounds, you didn't utter another word afterwards. You undoubtedly were dying, but perhaps, for now, you were merely unconscious as your lungs didn't stop reaching for air, and your heart used all your strength to function. 

Once more, the sun broke through the clouds, shining down right at you two, bringing Thanatos into the predicament of being blinded as it reflected off your armor. Perhaps he understood it now. Understood how unfair it was that someone like you, innocent and kind, was doomed to die out here. How awful his job on this day was, forcing him to take you to Tartarus and put you before the judgment of the god residing there. 

So what if... he didn't. 

He couldn't heal your wounds, nor make you feel better. But what he could do is battle the fate, earn the scorn of many, but at least, even if he took out the spear from your bloody body, you'd live. You'd live to tell your tale, and who knew, even he could apply some bandages, so maybe you'd recover some. 

It was a risk, and one Thanatos did not like taking, nor found pleasure in executing. But you couldn't refuse to come to this battle, whereas he, perhaps, after all these years, could refuse to do his job once. For your sake, and unbeknownst to him at that time, for his own even more.

His scythe disappeared in favor of Thanatos grabbing for the dreadful spear. Never before had he experience the kind of sound a wound could make from so close, and by the gods, he hoped he never would again. It was just your luck that you were unconscious, or the pain would have perhaps killed you faster than your wounds.

Leaning down, he scooped you up, his hand sullied with your blood and the dirt on the ground. The snow wasn't cold when he touched it, but your body was warm in his arms and still alive. Your threat of fade wasn't cut yet, and he wouldn't do it. With you in his arms, he stepped back, looking into your sleeping face before he retreated from the battlefield with a quiet, "Let's go."

No, the surface wasn't a place Thanatos liked to linger. It was too loud, too wrong, and too bright. But to see your smile, lively and happy, one more time, he didn't need to stay above ground. Where you were going, it was dark and, at times, lonely if you weren't a being born there. But you'd also be safe and alive for as long as you wished to.

And Thanatos would be with you, even if everyone would turn against him and his decision, for all eternity if he must.

[pillow-anime-talk]

genshin month ; twenty-second day.

synopsis: While walking with your little son, you were attacked by dangerous creatures. Fortunately, a dark-haired man walking nearby and saved the two of you from danger very quickly. So... how should you thank him?

# tags: scenario; strangers/lovers?; single mom!au; drama; mild romance; also soft fluff; daddy zhongli, uwu; sfw

includes: female reader ft. zhongli {genshin impact}

author’s note: i love him, guys...

It was a warm summer evening, a Friday to be exact; you were coming back with your four-year-old son from his grandmother and grandfather (by the way, they were your parents), all the time holding his tiny hand and talking to him about what you both should do the next day. Your little boy offered to eat a sorbet, so you couldn’t refuse, especially since you also loved such cold, fruity desserts.

Unluckily, halfway to Qingce Village – it means, the place where you lived for many years – you heard a odd growl and the sound of a loud stomping on hard ground. You looked uncertainly from your beloved child to the source of the noise, and your pretty eyes widened much more than necessary at the sight of the five hilichurls running towards you. They weren’t the smartest creatures, but their mere presence and willingness to fight were enough to scare you. In addition, the fact that your son was next to you made logical thinking difficult, and even the desire to stand on straight legs. You were terrified and angry; terrified that they might hurt you and your little one, and angry that you refused to stay overnight in your parents’ cottage, and it turned out to be a huge, really huge mistake.

“... Honey, it’s getting darker, isn’t it? Mom will pick you up now and we’ll run to our home, okay? We can’t be late for dinner after all.” You smiled cutely, and the baby, as if not guessing the threat, nodded slightly to you and giggling charmingly. “Let’s go quick then.” As soon as the smol toddler landed in your safe arms, you kissed his warm forehead and sprinted forward. You were really happy that you didn’t have luggage or other valuable and heavy things with you that would hinder your escape, but... even that wasn’t enough.

You were an ordinary, fragile woman who never held a sword, bow or shield in her hand. That’s why your son, though still young, seemed really heavy to you. For a moment you even laughed in your mind at the thought that recently he had really grown up and turned into a big, brave boy.

“Mommy... we don’t... we don’t have to hurry. Y-You’re tired, aren’t you?” A soft voice reached your ears and you shook your head. Even though your breathing was exhausted, you knew you couldn’t stress your young one.

“I-It’s alright, sweetheart! But how about if we play a little game? Whoever shouts ‘Help!’ louder towards the sky will win an extra portion of sorbet tomorrow! Sounds good, h-huh?” The kid was still unaware and indescribably happy at the same time, so your joint scream spread among the rocks, trees and lush flora.

You felt more and more weary as you ran, and your arms and legs ached a lot, but at one point you stopped because of a powerful ‘bang!’ that happened not far behind you. You looked back fastly, your child too, and you both saw a yellowish rock approaching and also a unknown man a few yards from the point of hit. Interestingly, a short second later it turned out that all five beasts were gone, and the tall stranger turned slowly in your direction, smiling gently.

“All right?”

“Mommy, mommy! This gentleman is a magician!” Your baby jumped on your hip and after a while you put your toddler down on the ground, breathing deeply. Obviously, the little boy ran towards the man, grabbing his hot, large hand. “It was so... w-woah!”

You chuckled shyly at the kid’s happy voice, then walked over to your (handsome) savior to thank him personally. He accepted your words humbly by shaking his head.

“I’m glad I could help. It’s the duty of every human being to save those in need. Hmmm... Maybe I’ll escort you to a safe place?”

“Ah, I will be grateful. As a thank you, would you like to have supper with us?”

“My name is Zhongli and I would be honored. But... won’t your husband mind?” He asked uncertainly, and you just smiled sadly.

“I have been without a partner for five years, so don’t worry about anything. And ah, and nice to meet you, thanks again for that... I’m Y/N, and that little rascal over here is Shun.”

“Yaaay! It’s so, so cool that you will eat with us! Nobody cooks as well as my mommy does, I swear!” The lil boy took your hand and pulled you towards the Qingce, bouncing happily. “Come on, mommy!” Unfortunately, you stumbled a bit because of the sudden pace. The tall fair-eyed luckily grabbed your sensitive body around the waist and helped you stand straight by touching innocently your smooth fingers.

Your four-year-old, as a typical child, was still unaware of what had happened; neither that you were being chased by hilichurls, nor that a dark-haired man killed them all with something amazing and indescribable, or even that three of you looked like a real family at that moment, which you never had in such a form, because after all, your former partner, when he heard about your pregnancy, left you and Shun totally alone. Of course, the elderly people from the whole village were very happy to help you two, but despite that, you often felt lonely and incomplete.

Now, however, seeing this tender but manly smile, and also feeling an unimaginable sense of security right next to your figure, you could say it was worth waiting so many long years for such a moment.

“... Certainly your mom is a great cook. After all, such delicate hands can only create wonderful things.” He admitted calmly, stroking your son’s head, and you blushed furiously as you looked away quickly. “Let’s go. This conversation make me really hungry.” You still felt the light touch of his thumb against your skin, but you didn’t feel bad about it, quite the opposite.

Right, right. This evening didn’t start well, but it will end up perfectly; of that one thing you were definitely sure of, and you happily took his smooth hand more correctly as you continued, now peaceful walk.

previous day ; venti ♡ next day ; chongyun

[plainlo-inthemorning]

A Loki TVA/Lokane fic. Rating T.

Previously: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4 (of 6)

Shine a Light, part 5

He is aware that the love of his life is digging her fingers into his arm and saying his name.

He is aware of Stark standing to his other side, visor off, speaking to someone on the phone. His voice is hard.

But most of all, Loki is aware that all their lives were just changed by a great big terrifying rip in the seam of reality.

Neither Jane nor the Avenger could possibly be completely sure of what they saw. Loki, as much as he desperately wants to, harbors little doubt.

The man he held in a death-grip only minutes ago and who just now disappeared through a doorway conjured out of thin air was somehow … himself.

Another him. Just as the man had said.

After witnessing from afar the double kiss Jane, Loki, who was coming back from a swim, had been more than ready to skip past introductions and just sever the intruder’s head from his body.

But as soon as he had laid hands on him, a torrent of images had flooded his mind – chaotic, confused images that seemed to span past, present, future and beyond.

The shock had made him lessen his grip and the double had used his (his!) magic to throw him off.

With some distance between them and Stark suddenly there as well, Loki had tried to let his rage quell the dizzying realization. Unsuccessfully.

He is still shaking, clutching a dagger in each hand. He drew them instinctively as the other made for the door.

He should have caught him!

“Loki! What did he say?!”

“What?” His thoughts are racing in too many directions to hear her.

“The … man, what was he saying to you?!”

Jane is looking up at him with those beautiful brown eyes, worry and urgency all over her delicate features. Though not fear, Loki notes. His ever-brave wife. Both her hands are now clamped around his wrist.

That thing kissed her.

The daggers disappear and Loki wraps both arms around the mother of his unborn child, almost crushing her to his chest while still staring at the spot where the double vanished.

“It’s okay. It’s okay, love”, he murmurs. He suspects things are very much not okay.

So does Jane, of course.

“Loki, was it … oof, not so tight … “

She wriggles against him, and he remembers his amor. And her condition. He immediately relaxes his arms a bit while letting the leather and metal melt back into the clothes he wore before: Black jeans and a fitted, dusty green t-shirt (his “rockstar outfit”, Jane had called it, when Loki first started switching up his human wardrobe some years ago now). Drops of saltwater still cling to the ends of his slightly curly raven locks.

“Tony! Jane, Loki! What on Earth was that?”

Pepper jumps out of the car parked in front of the house and runs towards them. She must have seen everything as she drove down the road following her flying husband.

“The verdict’s still out, Peps”. Tony nods at Loki. “You wanna chip in here? I just called the boy-scout at headquarters and told him to be on guard for one of the magician’s interns playing a prank”.

Loki shakes his head slowly.

“Unfortunately, I don’t think Stephen had anything to do with this”.

“You’re right, I didn’t”.

All four of them turn around to see the sorcerer step out of a swirling ring of light, his cape billowing around him. The mahogany floor and paneled walls of his Manhattan mansion are briefly visible behind him before the portal closes with a hiss of little sparks.

Strange is wearing an even sterner expression than usual which only adds to Loki’s growing sense of dread.

Tony, however, groans loudly.

“Dude, really? Couldn’t you at least have let us have dinner before party crashing? Not shaming your bachelor lifestyle or anything, but this was couples’ night!”

“Tony!” Pepper hits her husband on the arm.

Strange ignores him.

“I’m afraid the arrival of your surprise visitor indicates that a set of … unfortunate events have been set in motion”.

As always, his voice is as even as if he was reading the weather forecast, but by now Loki has learned to differentiate the (very) subtle nuances between scorn and sincerity. Strange places his hands behind his back and regards them coolly. “I’ve had Wong reach out to Doctor Banner and director Fury. They should be here shortly. Stark, you may want to-”.

Tony narrows his eyes, lip twitching.

“Hey, Bleeker Street, you know I have low tolerance for you showing up and barking orders without giving two f**** for context. How did you even know that something was going down here? By all means, don’t keep us in suspense until the cavalry gets here”.

Strange doesn’t answer, but the way his eyes dart to Jane sends needles through Loki’s heart.

“Let’s go sit down, shall we?” With one eyebrow raised, Strange puts on a suave smile and gestures towards the house. The effect is a little startling.

Jane ducks out from under Loki’s arms. “Jane, don’t you want to-“. She brushes him off.

“Yes, good idea, Stephen. Let’s go sit down”. She motions for Strange to follow. “Welcome to our home. I was actually making drinks before, but I think I need to add a bit more kick to them…”

Her voice is oddly calm, and Loki fights the urge to grab her and magic them both far, far away, not caring that she would be furious with him for making decisions on her behalf.

He’s brought back to the present by an even odder sound as Strange actually chuckles.

Loki is not sure he’s ever heard it before. Then again, it’s not that he really knows Strange when it comes down to it. Like Tony, Loki finds the wizard exceedingly arrogant.

Pepper is the first to follow Jane and Strange across the lawn while Loki and Tony hang back.

“Real ladies’ man when he wants to. Who would have thought”. The billionaire superhero scoffs. His suit has folded itself off and into a briefcase next to his feet.

“Tony-“

“Uh oh. First name basis. So this really is an emergency”.

Loki faces his friend. Often in the past years, as they’ve grown steadily closer outside of “work”, he has secretly marveled at how long they’ve come since someone threw someone else off a building after being called a diva.

And attacking a city with an alien army.

Jane always insisted the two “hotheads” (her word) had a lot in common when not trying to murder one another (be it with weapons or sarcastic commentary), and Loki has to admit she was right. The metal man is fiercely intelligent, and Loki has been enjoying the quick-witted snark between them infinitely more than he ever valued the company of Thor’s band of gullible warrior groupies on Asgard.

“Well?”. Tony is regarding him with eyebrows raised, expectant. “Give me your take on this cause I’m starting to put together some rather outlandish theories myself here that I’m kinda hoping you’ll thwart ASAP”.

Loki draws in a deep breath.

“That thing with Banner at the tower two years ago-“

“Fuck!” Tony exhales, exasperated. “I knew you were gonna say that”. He squints into the distance towards the ocean, his mouth a tight line. It’s a rare day that Tony Stark is caught under a clear blue sky without sunglasses but for once he doesn’t seem to notice.

Loki takes a step closer to him and lowers his voice so they won’t alert the others just yet.

“I told you then and you didn’t want to listen! Everything about Bruce’s story was off. I know he didn’t remember much after Steve took him down, but you all pretty much accused me of trying to get back at him for, well, you know what, and I kept telling you I thought someone had gotten to him! Now-“

Loki searches for the words. It’s beyond absurd.

“That man was a version of me, Tony. I have no idea how, but I felt it. I saw into his mind. It was filled with images from my past and then … other, recent memories. Dark ones. He came from nowhere. Literally. It didn’t feel like a place. I tried to discard it as a trick, you saw that, but…” Loki runs his hand through his moist hair. “Stephen obviously felt something tear open too. And that is not a good sign”.

He has Tony’s full attention.

“Tear open? Could this other you be associated with your old boss? With Thanos?”

Loki winces.

“No, I don’t think he’s involved”, he says sharply. “But I can’t be sure …”

Tony catches his tone pats his shoulder. “Okay, okay. Shake it off. Didn’t mean to suggest anything. Let’s say he’s not. I’d much prefer that, at least until the wizard presents us with an even uglier imminent threat to the universe. Which, judging by the fact that he’s even here, willingly sipping cocktails in your kitchen as we speak, he probably will”.

Tony throws his hands up with a dramatic air.

“And here I thought the most challenging part of this weekend would be to convince you two to come see Hamilton with us in the city next week!”

“Who’s-“

“Never mind. Did you get a look at that gadget your guy was holding? Boy, he looked like an office slave who’d slept under his desk for a month before getting fired, didn’t he? Were you ever into accounting yourself by any chance?”

Loki shuts his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose. Immediately he sees the image of the double kissing Jane, his arms wrapped firmly around her supple body. Rage rushes right back through him and his eyes snap open.

“Stark - I can’t. But yes, I did notice the device. It looked like a phone”.

“Yeah, somehow I don’t think it was the new iPhone”.

Tony shakes his head.

“The two of us and we didn’t take him down. Fury’s gonna have our badges”.

//

The director of SHIELD and Bruce Banner arrive barely 15 minutes later through a portal in the middle of the meadow-like lawn, following Wong and both looking grim and out of place as they weave around patches of wildflowers to reach the porch.

“Gentlemen, I trust you’re well”. Loki greets the trio with an only vaguely sarcastic nod as he holds open the screen doors to them, like a good host. Despite what some may still think, he can behave.

He could have just used magic of course, but he figures Banner is freaked enough as it is just by being here. The scientist hasn’t spoken more than five words to him since 2014 and at least three of them were expletives.

Once inside the small living room, Bruce goes to stand by the window and busies himself polishing his glasses with a little too much vigor than seems warranted.

He avoids Loki’s eyes but looks up and smiles wearily as Jane comes over to say hello.

Fury leans against the doorframe to the hallway and crosses his arms, face a closed book, and, by the sound of it, Tony is going through the cabinets in the kitchen trying to find something to spice up Jane’s pre-dinner cocktails.

Pepper is talking to Strange and Wong on the blue IKEA couch (assembled by magic after the attempt to go at it “as a team” turned into a shouting match), and Loki is about to politely ask Strange to please spit it out right this minute, when Jane is next to him, taking his hand.

“We need to talk. Now”.

Her voice is low and steady but her eyes insisting. She squeezes his fingers.

He squeezes back. “Come”.

Loki looks to Fury but he’s focused on Strange who’s listening very closely to something Wong’s saying.

Not letting go of Jane’s hand, he turns towards the kitchen. In the doorway they pass Tony who’s now holding what appears to be a glass of scotch. He must have given up on the gin and tonics.

“Hey, where are you two going? Forget about playing hosts okay, let’s just get started with part two of the evening’s entertainment”.

“In a minute”.

Jane pushes past him, ignoring Tony’s look and dragging Loki with her.

She closes the door behind them.

“Okay, so…” Jane looks around nervously in the small kitchen with the rustic white fronts and old brass handles. She loves that kitchen. They haven’t changed a thing since moving in. Loki reaches for her, but she takes a step back. “Jane, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I should have gotten there faster. Did he …“

“I need you tell me exactly what he said to you”.

She is absentmindedly opening and closing her fists in the way she does when that brilliant astrophysicist mind of hers is working out an intricate problem in the lab.

Or, Loki knows, when she’s about to deliver him bad news.

He clears his throat. “He said he was me. And that something big was happening”. There. “And then he said he was sorry”.

Jane studies his face.

“That he was sorry? For what?”

“He didn’t say. He stepped through the door”.

Jane is quiet and now it’s Loki’s turn to try and read her expression.

“What did he say to you? I assume he pretended to be me …?”

Jane holds up a hand and bites her lip. Loki swallows.

“Loki, when we were staying at the flat in London, after we defeated Malekith…”

“What?” Loki furrows his brow in confusion. “Why are we-“

“The poison from the monster’s blade, it had you slipping in and out of consciousness for days. You were so feverish…”

“Yes, I know. I was there”. Loki’s blood is slowly turning very cold, but he musters a smile. “And you were amazing, love. Although some might say you took adv-“

Jane interrupts him in the middle of his blossoming smirk. A slight blush appears on her own cheeks.

“Yes, um, it’s not about that day”. She gives him a stern look. “The other day, later, when Thor left after you two went and had your, um, talk … there’s something I need to tell you …”

The door to the living room opens behind them.

“Actually, if you don’t mind, Doctor Foster, I would very much like to hear this too”.

Stephen Strange steps into the kitchen. The door closes behind him.

Part 6

[kieu-tou]

alt er love week day 2: favourite couple - kieutou (duh)

something that keeps coming back to me whenever i think about kieu my and fatou, is how much they have both grown throughout the course of their relationship - how much they’ve grown together, and as individuals. and really, i think the key to this is that they keep reassuring and providing a safe space for each other, whilst also continuously challenging one another - pushing each other to change their set ways. i keep thinking about how through their relationship, they learn so much about themselves and they come out of their shells. thinking about when fatou said ‘you are good’ when kieu my admitted she feels the weight of all these expectations on her, and never thinks she is good enough. how kieu my said ‘it’s not bad, you’re just a little different’ and called fatou honest, confident, funny and brave when fatou felt less than, down and humiliated after the presentation, reminding her that she has so much to offer. how, at the museum, fatou listened to kieu my with such intent and wanted to know all about the anxieties plaguing her - giving kieu my a space to open up & feel heard and accepted in. how fatou was the first and only person kieu my let herself be see-through with. how kieu my was the first person that fatou really let her carefree and relaxed front slip in front of, let herself be lost, but also assertive and upfront. how they are both learning vulnerability through this relationship in different ways, and how they’ve both helped each other learn to confront problems head on instead of ignoring them. how they are both realising they are good enough the way that they are - neither too much nor too little. how fatou’s speech in aquarius was exactly what kieu my needed to hear, how it made her feel so appreciated and seen. how kieu my said ‘you can make yourself really heavy’ signaling that fatou can let go, open up, lean on her - something that she’s been struggling with all throughout the season, something she rarely lets herself do. i absolutely loved seeing how their connection & getting to know each other and really see each other has helped them grow in different ways and see things from a different perspective.

i think that the last scene embodies all of this beautifully. kieu my admits that loneliness scares her, allowing herself to be so vulnerable yet again with fatou, because now she knows how special it feels to be seen by and truly see the other person - the stakes have become higher; as love grows, so does the fear of losing it. fatou grounds her, brings her back to now, the moment of them being together with no distance between them. she tells her that sometimes things aren’t as scary as they might seem. i keep thinking about how kieu my once again noticed fatou’s courage, as if saying ‘i see you and i love this about you’. how she said ‘i love you’ like she couldn’t stop herself, all of her guards down. how fatou let herself consider her feelings for a moment, no longer desperately chasing kieu my, and also said ‘i love you’ in quiet, assured confidence.

and finally, i keep thinking about how now they know they can lean on each other & will be able face their problems together, continue to grow together. how they will continue to learn so much about each other and from each other. how they will keep on making mistakes and fumble - and how that’s okay, because they are growing and learning, both together and apart, and they know they have each other by their side.

[hlizr50]

Update: The Raven and the Songbird

Chapter 4

Gwyn is coping. Merrill is the worst. Az is... Az.

Read on AO3

Gwyn rubbed her eyes, the book spines blurring in front of her. It didn’t help that she’d been banished to one of the lower levels, where the dark creeped between the stacks and threatened to follow her. It also didn’t help that she had barely slept the night before. And that she’d come to the library straight from training.

It had been six days since she’d woken up bleary-eyed after Azriel had left her in the rain. And, as she’d thought, things were better. She had thrown herself into training and work, but she felt good about how she was managing.

She was tired.

But she could deal with that.

Merrill, of course, had sunk her claws into Gwyn’s wounds almost immediately, but she knew how to handle the haughty, hateful priestess. The first few days had been rough, but she sang to herself through the extra hours she spent in the library and let the melodies accompany her as she shelved and retrieved the tomes Merrill had demanded.

Azriel had even returned to training, which was oddly comforting despite this new distance between them. It was almost normal again – Cassian with the advanced females and Azriel with the novices. Neither of them lingered after like they used to, but she couldn’t help stealing a glance or two in his direction.

She would have to work on that.

With the last book shelved and her cart filled with new volumes for the white-haired priestess, Gwyn began the trek back up the ramp. She tried not to think about what Merrill would say when she found out that Gwyn couldn’t locate one of the tomes on the shelves. She’d looked at every pile left on a table or desk but couldn’t locate it. If she hadn’t already taken too long she would have started inquiring with every priestess she could find –

“Where is that miserable girl?”

The freckles on Gwyn’s nose bunched as she scowled, Merrill’s screech echoing over the ramps. She inhaled deeply and breathed out her sigh, steeling herself for the encounter.

“I’m on my way, sister!” Her legs burned with the extra effort it took to push the cart laden with leather-bound parchment. With her extra time in the library – to help her minimize the time when she was idle and alone – her body was still adjusting to the additional walking, pushing, and lifting.

Library work really was good conditioning.

Merrill was no longer at the rail when she reached level four so Gwyn pushed the cart through the stacks and down the hall to the sister’s office. Papers and books were strewn about, and the copper-haired priestess wondered how she could possibly keep everything straight. Of course, she’d had Gwyn to help – that was how.

“I hope you found the time between frolicking and singing to do what I asked of you?”

“Merrill, I was fully focused on your task,” she searched for a way to satisfy the female. “The work just makes me so happy I can’t help but sing.” Gwyn pasted a bright smile on her face as she lugged a stack into the office, searching for any clear surface that might hold them.

“Foolish Gwyneth,” Merrill hissed, not deigning to look at her. “Have you ever thought that some of the females here don’t want your songs thrust upon them? Have you ever thought about how they might feel seeing you so joyous when they cannot be?”

The younger priestess stilled, arms growing heavy with the weight of the tomes in her grasp. She hadn’t considered that, ever. The library was a place of sanctuary and healing, and she had been experiencing those things. She had never noticed if any of the other sisters were affected by it. Surely Clotho would have mentioned something to her if there had been complaints.

“Selfish, wretched girl.”

Gwyn sighed and set the books down as gently as she could on the corner of a small end table.

“I couldn’t find the third volume of The Continent. One of the other priestesses must have it. But I’m going to inquire with them now.” She turned to leave, hoping she could make it before the wintry female could toss more vitriol at her.

“Pathetic, Gwyneth. To prance around happy and content when you can’t even perform your basic duties. When you play at being strong and brave yet can’t manage to leave the library. You should learn that you are not special. You are utterly plain and ordinary and you should behave as such.” Gwyn kept walking although her shoulders sagged. She knew she wasn’t special – had never thought herself better than anyone else. But she also knew she wasn’t ordinary. She had been training in combat for more than a year. She counted some of the most powerful fae in Prythian among her friends. She had won the Illyrian Blood Rite.

But Merrill, of course – the cunning white witch – had snagged a claw in one of her buried insecurities and dangled it before her, as if it were on display for all to see. Gwyn still wasn’t comfortable with venturing into the city, for all of her growth and accomplishments. She walked proudly most days with a smile pulling at her lips, secure in her body and strength and heart. But somehow Merrill always knew what to say, where to push and prod. She had joked with Nesta that she must be daemati and would just gaze into Gwyn’s mind as if it were her own.

Nesta had just said she was a bitchy old crone stuck in a fae body, doomed to live for a near-eternity, and she was just bitter about being alive for so long.

The priestess grinned to herself as she went in search of… well, anyone. She pictured the list of females that she would have to check off, one by one, to ensure she found the missing volume. She was nimbly navigating the stacks when a familiar voice reached her.

“Gwyn! Somehow I knew I’d find you still here.” Gwyn paused and turned toward Nesta’s call, smiling wide at her Valkyrie sister. She noticed how the eldest Archeron had started wearing her hair down and smiling easily, and Gwyn felt her heart swell to see happiness reflected in those once-frigid eyes.

“Nesta,” she sighed as they met for an embrace. “What brings you down here at this hour?”

“Well you weren’t in your room,” Nesta fixed her with a pointed look before echoing, “at this hour. You’ve been working a lot.” Not an assessment, nor an observation. Just a statement to the priestess, a signal that she was onto her.

Gwyn flashed the most convincing serene smile she could muster and beckoned for her friend to walk with her. If Merrill caught her dilly-dallying she was as good as dead. “Merrill has been very demanding lately. Spending more time here helps me accomplish more and helps me make sure she gets what she needs.” She avoided Nesta’s skeptical reaction, knowing full well the look in those eyes would burn right through her defenses.

“So… you’re working yourself to exhaustion to appease that witch?”

Gwyn couldn’t very well admit that she needed to stay occupied, or that her exhaustion wasn’t just because of long working hours.

“You know how much I value her research, Nesta. It’s worth a little extra effort.” The two warriors continued to wander through the stacks, Gwyn making sure to eyeball every stray pile of books in search of volume three of The Continent.

“Well, tomorrow night you’re taking off,” Nesta mused, breaking the companionable silence. The young priestess halted, mouth opening to argue. “You’re spending the night with Emerie and me.”

“Nesta –“

“No, Gwyn. You’ve been working constantly, barely talking to us after training. We miss you.” She gave Gwyn the most un-Nesta-like face, pouting her lower lip and widening those ice-gray eyes. “Pretty please, Gwynnie?”

“Oh you know I hate when you call me that,” Gwyn huffed. But her nose crinkled with her grin as she reached up and pinched her friend’s cheek. “How could I say no to that face, though?” The Valkyries giggled together and Nesta leaned in to kiss her sister’s cheek.

“Perfect. Six o’clock, the House library. We’ll have dinner and dessert and books and Mother knows what else.” Gwyn smiled as Nesta gave her a look. “Don’t work too late, Gwyn. You’re tired. I can tell.”

“Oh, quit worrying you busybody,” she shooed Nesta away as she stuck out her tongue. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

~~~

Azriel paced around the group of novices, shrewdly observing footwork, weight distribution, and body position as they moved through their stretching and grounding exercises. Despite his neutral expression he was relatively impressed. It wasn’t like him to offer praise in the training ring – that was more Cassian’s and Gwyn’s nature – but he could acknowledge consistent improvement he was seeing.

“Alright, take a break,” he let his voice rise into the summer afternoon. “Get some water. We’ll start working core in a few minutes.” The shadowsinger quirked his lip as he ignored their groans and strode over to the other side of the training ring, where his shadows had been pulling him. They had been particularly insistent since he returned to training, eager to be nearer to a certain priestess after so long apart. Cassian stood, arms crossed, observing the sparring matches between the advance females. Gwyn and Nesta were a blur of punches, feints, and footwork as Azriel stopped next to the general.

“Berdara is sluggish. Watch,” Cassian muttered, and Az forced his gaze toward that ribbon-tied hair shining like copper in the sun. Even with her face red with exertion he could see the bruise-like circles under her eyes and the tightness in her features. Her breathing was ragged, shoulders slouched, weight too far on her heels.

“She’s dropped her left elbow every time she side-steps. She’s lucky Nesta hasn’t targeted that shoulder.” Azriel tried to sound like the seasoned teacher and watchful warrior, not belying the concern blooming within him.

“She’s lucky she’s talented enough with hand-to-hand. If they had weapons I would sideline her,” the general growled, frustrated. “It’s not safe for her to fight in that condition.” As soon as he said it Nesta’s foot connected with Gwyn’s shoulder. She swiped the priestess’ feet out from under her as she staggered and she fell with a resounding thud on her back. Azriel winced as he tried to control his twirling shadows – they wanted to go to her, to make sure she was okay. It was an effort not to give in to them.

“Water, you two!” Cassian called over as Nesta and Emerie pulled Gwyn to her feet. The spymaster’s eyes narrowed as he watched her. She bent over, hands braced on her knees, panting. Likely that fall had knocked the wind out of her. He looked up in time to see Nesta approaching, water in hand.

“Well fought, Archeron.” Azriel dipped his chin, acknowledging her effort.

“No. I’m not going to claim that victory.” She shook her head before looking to her mate. “She’s not herself.”

The shadowsinger bristled and his shadows seemed to twitch around him.

“What’s going on with her, then?” Cassian asked.

“I’m not sure. I know she’s working double shifts in the library. I’m not sure how she’s sleeping but she seems tired.” Nesta looked between the two Illyrians. “Even if she’s sleeping fine, spending extra time getting berated by Merrill can’t be healthy.”

Azriel grimaced. The priestess – Merrill – had a reputation, to be sure. And to hear that Gwyn was putting herself under so much stress was alarming. He glanced back across the ring and studied her. No laughter, no shining smile.

“I’ve staged an intervention for tonight. She’s spending the night here with me and Emerie.” Azriel felt Nesta’s eyes on him as she spoke. “We’ll get to the bottom of it.” When he dared to glance to the side he found them both with shrewd stares centered on him.

“What?” He knew his attempt at nonchalance was pitiful.

“Nothing to offer, Azriel? No thoughts you’d like to share?” Nesta raised her brow to challenge him. Azriel held his mask firmly in place, stoic and cold. But his chest was a chasm, guilt rushing in like a waterfall. He knew… he knew the changes they were seeing were because of him. He turned unseeing eyes across the ring, struggling to find a place to focus. But that copper-spun hair shining in the heat of the afternoon grounded him, a tether to reality. He couldn’t get the sound of her crying out of his head as he took in her wan features and sagging posture. Smoky tendrils settled over his shoulders in resignation.

He had been a fool. A coward.

He had been wrong to walk away.

Azriel turned from Cassian and his mate without a word, ignoring the questioning gazes and the racing thoughts. Instead he slipped into that quiet, observant, demanding presence with the females under his charge.

“Alright, ladies. You’ve had long enough. Time for core.”

He didn’t even grin like he usually did when they begrudgingly obeyed, his mind too full and his soul too empty.

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[girl-of-many-fandoms]

I was wondering if you'd consider doing a Hotch x plus size reader? Totally fine if you're not up for it! I have this idea where the reader is a tech person like Penelope & she's around the same age. On a number of occasions she'll stay later to finish her work and it's only her & Hotch left. So she starts this cute little friendship where she'll make him coffee before she leaves. That turns into a crush, then she begins to avoiding him cuz she's shy, then he confronts her saying her likes her.

Late Nights

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x PLUS!Reader

Warnings: None

WOWWW this is a long one hope you guys enjoy it 🤗💜

MASTERLIST

-----

“You know, working this late should be against the law for single parents” walking in Hotch’s office I shut the door behind me 

“You’re working late again?” he looked up from the file on his desk smiling at me 

“My stupid systems chose today of all days to act up, I had to upgrade the software and all the fun stuff” placing the extra coffee cup on his desk I plopped down in the chair opposite me

“It’s taking a while to get back online but hopefully I’ll be out of here in the next hour or so” 

For the past couple weeks Hotch had been working late nights and I thought that I’d stay back also in case he needed someone to talk too. As a profiler he sees and deals with a lot of gruesome things that would keep a normal person up all night. At first it was innocent, I’d pop in to check in on him to distract him for a bit or make him his coffee when he insists on staying in the office later than usual  but as we grew closer he started opening up more to me. He started talking about the things they saw and did on the case the team had worked on and then we started talking more about Jack and how he’s doing at school, more personal topics

“I know I’m not the most open when it comes to expressing feelings but I just want to say thank you” Aaron took a sip of his coffee before placing the cup down, eyes glued to my frame

“What are you thanking me for?” he smiled and I couldn’t help but swoon a bit. Aaron doesn’t smile much or show us his soft side so it’s nice to see him this relaxed around me

“For being a friend, for working late nights with me and all the coffee” my stomach fluttered as he went on

“The coffee is good” chuckling I brought my cup to my lips and took a sip in order to help hide the blush that heated up my cheeks

“It is, oh I forgot to ask you, Jack has a soccer game this weekend and he insisted that I asked you to be there” he fiddled with his fingers waiting for my reaction

“Of course, I’ll be there”

------

“Of course, I’ll be there. That’s what I told him, oh God what if I’m reading into this too much” 

I’m currently pacing the floor of Penelope’s bat cave as we waited for the coroner’s report to come in. My phone buzzed for the tenth time today, looking down at the screen I sighed letting it go to voicemail

“Hotch again? You know he doesn’t smile nor opens up so easily to anyone besides you, I wouldn’t be surprised if he likes you” Penelope got cut off by the ringing phone on her desk

“Speak and be heard oh mighty one” 

“Garcia I need you to dig deeper into our victims background” Hotch’s voice filled the room and I immediately sat down 

“Sure, anything specific I’m looking for sir?” she started tapping away at her keyboard doing exactly what he said

“We need to find the connection between all three of them”

“Okay sir, I’ll call you back when I have something” 

“Penelope wait, don’t hang up” she paused with her finger over the end button looking over at me

“Is Y/N with you?” I frantically motioned for her to say no and thankfully she caught on 

“No sir, want me to pass on a message?”

“No, no, uh thanks Garcia” he sounded so defeated and that only made me feel even more guilty. For the past three days I’ve been avoiding Aaron for as much as I could ever since the night in his office, I realized that I was setting myself up for heartbreak. The call ended and she glared at me

“You are hurting that man”

“I know and I feel terrible but I need to put some distance between the both of us”

“He’s in Nevada with the team right now how much more distance do you want?” she deadpanned looking me in the eyes 

“It’s complicated alright”

“It really isn’t” she turned back to her set and started working on the case ending our conversation 

-----

“Welcome back my heroes!”

Garcia held a box of cupcakes up welcoming the team back as they stepped off the elevator. I stood a few feet behind her smiling at them as they grabbed a cake and filled into the bullpen. I was about to follow behind them when a hand held on to my wrist keeping me in place

“Is everything alright?”

Aaron

“Yeah, everything’s fine, why would they be?” I started rambling removing my hand from his hold, avoiding his gaze 

“You say that but I don’t believe you, let’s talk in my office” he opened the door for me and we headed straight to his office. I saw Penelope shoot me a small smile before I entered the room. I took a seat on the sofa as he moved to his desk.

Aaron dropped his go bag on his desk and removed his jacket before joining me on the sofa. He stared into my eyes trying to get a sense of what’s going on, profiling me 

“Is there a reason why you’ve been avoiding me?”

“I haven’t been avoiding you sir” I couldn’t help but pick at my fingernails as nervousness washed over me

“Sir? Y/N, it’s just the two of us and yes, you haven’t even returned any of my calls or texts” I wrecked my brain trying to come up with an excuse but I couldn’t

“I know that there isn’t any other way to say this but, the other night when we were in here I had to tell you something but I didn’t know how you were going to take it, I still don’t-” he rambled scratching the back of his neck

“Aaron” placing my hand on his knee I cut him off, he took my small hand in his gently brushing the back of my hand using his thumb

“I like you” he blurted and I froze, my heartrate sped up the longer we sat here staring at each other

Say something idiot!

“Why me?”

Dear God, you should’ve stayed quiet

“What do you mean why you?”

“I’m not your type Aaron”

“What’s my type then?”

“Someone like Emily, brave, courageous, can actually shoot to save herself, skinny, gorgeous” I mumbled the last two hoping he didn’t hear them but he did

“You don’t have to be skinny to be gorgeous and besides, you are perfect, you’re funny, sweet, caring, determined, charismatic, I could go on” he smiled giving my hand a gentle squeeze as we held each other’s gaze

“Most importantly, you make me feel safe” my breathing hitched as we sat here, neither one of us wanting to break the moment 

“I like you too Aaron” 

------

The referee blew the whistle ending the soccer match and Jack jumped with glee with his team as they were the winners. I cheered and clapped happy for the little boy who scored one of the winning goals as he ran directly to his father. Smiling I made my way over to the Hotchner boys and Jack broke free from Aaron’s arms and rushed over to me

“Good job buddy, you did so great!” wrapping my arms around the child I kissed the top of his head 

“Did you see me score?” he pulled back enough to look up at me and I cupped his flushed cheeks in my palms

“I did and that was an excellent bicycle kick”

“Jack!” one of his teammates called him over for a group photo and he ran off. A pair of arms snaked around my waist pulling me flush against the owner, Aaron

“You did great with them” spinning around I wrapped my arms around his middle 

“I did the best I could with a group of ten year olds” 

“Thanks for coming it means a lot to me and I know it does to him too”

“No need to thank me, I had a good time listening to chatty Cathy to your left go on about how hot you look in those shorts” he laughed pulling me in closer to him

“Join us for dinner tonight, it’s been a while since he’s seen you and it’ll be good to have you around more”

“Sounds like a plan” pushing myself upwards I kissed him and he immediately responded. I swear I was about to explode from the electricity that flowed through my body from having his lips on mine

We were so wrapped up in our moment that we had forgotten about the crowd of people that surrounded us until they started wolf whistling and cheering us on. Breaking apart my face became heated from the blush that overtook my cheeks. Aaron looked down at me with a boyish grin clearly enjoying the moment

“How’s that for our first kiss?” 

“Not quite what I was expecting”

“C’mon let’s head back to my place” taking my hand in his he called out to his son and we headed to his car. The both of them quickly fell into conversation and I must admit, seeing Hotch domesticated has got to be the hottest thing ever 

The bond that these two have is very special and I can’t wait to share more moments like this with them

------

HEY GUYS PSA!! If any of you lovely readers would love to tagged in my fics let me know and I’ll gladly add you to the list ❤️

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@calm-and-doctor

[woah-were-halfway-there]

Mia’s First Night At Home

A/N: *dj Khaled voice* anotha one. Lmao here’s another little piece that’s been requested! Now I’ll go back to writing the next part of JWIN lol. Also this is PURE fluff, just a warning.

also shoutout to @brockadoodles​ for yelling me about this little family like always 

Series Masterlist

Word Count: 2.5k

It was all so crazy to comprehend still, but you and Auston were officially spending your first night at home as parents. 

You were discharged from the hospital around 14 hours after Mia was born. As you were in labour, other than the apparent fact of getting to meet your daughter and being excited for that, you wanted nothing more than to be back at your condo where you felt the most comfortable. You expressed that to Auston and your midwife many times throughout the night, and your midwife assured you that as long as your delivery and recovery afterwards went smoothly, you shouldn't have to spend a full 24 hours in the hospital. Luckily enough, things did go well, so you and Mia were both deemed healthy enough to go home. 

However, once you got home, your anxiety peaked. 

Although you had been told multiple times by your midwife and doctor, despite Mia being born a week and a half early, she was still very healthy. If she weren't, you and she wouldn't have been able to leave the hospital, which you had to keep reminding yourself. But everything was so new, and there was a lot of adjusting to do, you would've been lying if you said you weren't a little overwhelmed. 

Yet, you never admitted how you were feeling. Auston could just tell. 

You put on such a brave front, trying to act like you weren't as nervous about your first night home with Mia as you obviously were, but you were so bad at hiding those nerves. That was to be expected, though. You were in postpartum and had given birth that day. No one expected you to be calm immediately or used to everything that being a new parent entailed. But, there was no reason for you to be so unnecessarily hard on yourself. 

Something you were struggling with, though, was the fact that Mia wasn't breastfeeding. While in the hospital, you tried to feed her, but she would only take a bottle, and although that was a hard pill for you to swallow, you again had to keep reminding yourself how that was ok, and as long as Mia wasn't hungry, that was best. 

All in all, Mia being born was a gratifying experience, but also so, so exhausting. You and Auston were more than ready to have a night back at the condo to unwind a bit with your baby girl and ideally catch up a bit on sleep, but that didn't happen. Well, not at first, at least. 

Once the two of you brought Mia home, you gradually introduced her to Frank. Neither you nor Auston knew what to expect when introducing your daughter to your year-old Goldendoodle, but it went so much smoother than you anticipated. Frank took to having a new little human around very well, and it was almost as if he sensed something different with you too because once you were home that evening, he did not leave your side and was extra affectionate with you. 

Auston's family then came over for dinner, to which Ema refused to let you and Auston take any part in preparing or cleaning up after. She wanted the two of you to be as relaxed as possible and stay focused on your daughter because she also knew the upcoming days would be pretty hectic with everyone wanting to meet the newest little Matthews. 

Your brother, Nate, got into Toronto that evening from Montreal after receiving Mitch's call telling him that his niece had been born around 4am. He joined for dinner with Auston's family so he could meet Mia but then went to stay with Mitch and Steph so your little family could have your space for your first night home. You knew he'd be back the next day because your dad and sister, Mya, would be in from B.C then with plans to stay in the city for a few days as well so they too could meet their newest family member. Speaking of family, you knew your cousin Chris and the rest of Mitch's family would want to stop by at some point too. You also were aware that undoubtedly, guys from the team would be over as well. 

It was a big deal to many people that Mia finally arrived, but it was crucial that you, Auston and her, were all feeling up for how many visitors you'd be having in the upcoming days. This was why Ema prepared a couple of meals for you and your fiancè, without telling either of you and left them in the fridge before she, Brian, Alex and Bre all left for the night. 

Before Auston's family left, though, Ema made you and Auston promise that you'd call her if either of you needed anything. Whether that be picking something up or for someone to watch Mia while the two of you rested, she would be there as quickly as she could. But for that first night, you and Auston insisted you both wanted to try out caring for Mia on your own but agreed to call her if things got to be too much. 

After everyone left, the night did go pretty smoothly, and you were so thankful for that. 

Auston gave Mia a bottle around 7pm, then you both cuddled up on the couch with Frank as Auston continued holding her, and soon enough, Mia was passed right out. Much to Auston's dismay, because he just didn't want to stop holding his little girl, he still let you take Mia from his hold and put her in her bassinet as she slept. You both knew she'd wake up in three hours or so wanting another bottle, so you didn't go to sleep right away and opted to watch a movie together instead while you waited for her to wake back up. 

Less than an hour into the movie, you were fighting hard to stay awake. You were so exhausted, having not slept well at the hospital at all, and Auston didn't understand why you wouldn't let yourself rest. He knew it was because you were nervous, hell, he was too, but you were in recovery and needed to be mindful of that. It was like pulling teeth, but Auston eventually convinced you to sleep in your bedroom instead of out on the couch. He insisted that he'd be fine to stay up and give Mia another bottle before joining you in bed and calling it a night as well. You had no reason to doubt his fatherly abilities, so without any further argument, you and Frank crawled into yours and Auston's king-sized bed, and you fell asleep almost as soon as your head hit your pillow. 

Around 10pm, Mia stirred awake, looking for another bottle and in need of a diaper change, but Auston took it all on like a champ and handled it all with ease. Sure, he was a little nervous, but it ended up being way less stressful than he was expecting, and about an hour later, Mia was falling asleep in his arms again. So, without a second thought, he turned off all the lights in the condo, then quietly brought her into the bedroom.  He was careful not to wake you as he set Mia in the bassinet that was in the bedroom before climbing into bed next to you, pulling you close, then falling asleep soon after. 

Auston wasn't sure how long he'd been sleeping for, but with how it was still dark out, he knew it wasn't for long. He didn't hear Mia fussing, which he took as a good sign and figured he could roll over and fall back asleep for a little while longer. But, when he reached out to pull you close again, only to find the space next to him empty, well, then he was wide awake. 

He sat right up, wondering where the hell you could've gone, but couldn't come up with any ideas. There was no light coming from the ensuite or out hallway, indicating that you hadn't gotten out of bed to go to the washroom or grab a late-night snack or bottle for Mia from the kitchen, which left him even more puzzled. He then noticed how Frank wasn't there either and knew you couldn't have gone very far. 

Shaking his head, Auston then grabbed his phone to see that it was 3:30am and that he'd only slept for maybe four hours. However, he didn't hear Mia fuss at all even though he knew she probably would've woken up for another bottle during that time and had even set an alarm just in case, but then he realized the alarm was turned off and knew that you had to have been the one to do that. 

Still feeling a little confused, he got out of bed and used the light coming from his phone screen so he could see as he walked through the room, but stopped when his eyes fell on something, and his search for you soon came to an end. 

On the other side of the room, over near the closet, you were fast asleep on the ground next to Mia's bassinet, laying on the fluffy white rug that was there with Frank curled right up next to you as he slept as well. Mia was sleeping too. However, with the almost empty bottle resting on the ground beside you, Auston knew you must've already fed her. But what didn't make sense was why you hadn't taken the few steps needed to crawl back into bed instead of sleeping on the floor next to your daughter. 

Chuckling slightly at the image in front of him, Auston shook his head because he knew part of why you weren't in bed was because of your stubbornness, even though he was well aware you'd never admit it.

Without much thought, Auston then wandered over to where you slept and checked on Mia before leaning down to pick you up in bridal style and carrying you back to bed. He tried not to wake you, but with the way Frank groaned at the sudden disturbance to his slumber and you being shaken awake slightly, you then slowly blinked your eyes open and looked up at your fiancé as he carried you. 

"Aus?" You asked quietly, instinctively snuggling closer to his chest before he gently set you back on the bed. "W-what happened? Is Mia, alright?"

"Yes, Mia's fine," Auston assured before getting back into bed next to you and letting you cuddle up against him again as Frank hopped on the bed to join the two of you also. "You were sleeping on the floor, babe."

"Oh," you whispered, a pout forming on your lips as you did so. 

"How come you didn't just come back to bed?"

You were about to respond but stopped as you thought about the proper answer to his question, then sighed before telling him. 

"I was afraid to fall back asleep, but I guess I was too tired actually to stick with that."

"Babe," he replied, a slightly disappointed tone in his voice as he did. "You need to rest. I know you're anxious, I am too, but how are you going to be able to take care of Mia if you don't take care of yourself?"

Auston didn't say that harshly or anything, but it still struck something in you because you knew how right he was. So, after taking a deep breath, you spoke up again. 

"I know, I'm sorry," you told him, then sat up slightly so you could glance over at Mia, making sure she was still asleep in her bed, which you were able to tell thanks to the lights of downtown Toronto that still managed to somewhat illuminate through the closed blinds in your bedroom. "She's just so little and new, Auston. What if something happens to her while we sleep? I would never forgive myself just because I was too tired to be there for her."

At that, Auston sighed and just about melted as he observed you watching Mia, already being overcome by the fact that he knew you were bound to be such a good mother. Without saying anything, he then sat up too and leaned against the headboard before gently pulling you onto his lap, not stopping until your back was against his chest. Once he stopped moving, you then shifted so you'd be more comfortable. After that, you leaned back against him and mindlessly rubbed your hand up and down his arm while he kept them wrapped around your middle. He responded by resting his head on your shoulder, then the two of you remained there in comfortable silence for a little bit as you observed your daughter together. 

"Look at her," Auston spoke softly after a few moments. "She's fine."

"I know, but-."

"But if something happens, then we can face it together. We're both new to this whole parenting thing, Y/N. We are for sure going to make mistakes, but how else are we going to learn? It's ok to be worried about our new baby, but there is no need to be right now. Right now, it would be best if you rested because you gave birth literally 24 hours ago. Please stop stressing yourself out, babe. For me, for Mia and yourself. It's not healthy."

Once Auston finished his spiel, you slowly moved away so that you could look over your shoulder at him and respond. But instead of saying anything, you nodded once his gaze met yours, then leaned forward to catch his lips in a soft, sweet kiss. 

"Thank you," you mumbled against his mouth, then moved away to look at him again. "For holding me accountable and being the best partner in all of this. You're right, and I guess I needed to be reminded that I am still recovering and how I'm not alone. So, thank you."

"You don't need to thank me," he smiled. "There's nowhere else I'd rather be than here with you taking care of our daughter."

"Our daughter," you repeated, smiling as you shifted, then leaned back against him again. "I still can't believe she's here. We really made her, huh?"

Auston nodded, a grin stretching across his mouth as he followed your gaze over to where Mia was sleeping still. 

"I also can't believe it, but yeah. She's here, and she's so perfect. I never knew I was capable of falling in love with something so hard and so fast until you gave me her."

"I could say the same to you, Aus. We did this together, and I think we did a damn good job."

Your heart never felt as full as it did at that moment, and you loved it so much. Everything about your life seemed perfect, and it just made you so ridiculously happy. After that talk with Auston, you both were able to fall back asleep for a couple of hours before Mia woke up again. And even with your exhaustion and anxiousness that was still very present, you had never felt more content.