#needless to say i dont ACTUALLY think this is something we should do

[patrice-bergerons]

Just woke up from a deep nap, opened twittter, saw a tweet about how the far right violence we are seeing in the UK is a result of continuous anti-immigrant rhetoric and had a thought accompanied with dread of "wait *I* hold an anti-immigrant opinion, am I complicit?"

...then I rummaged further in my sleep addled brain to remember what it was and located the source: my pipe dream of deporting anybody who can't hack london's public transport system during rush hour ☠️

[themostradicalconceptussy]

Quick reminder in light of the recenent situation with Neil Gaiman

You can (and should) condemn Mr Gaiman without condoning TERFs. At the end of the day, regardless of if the report is biased by the nature of the political leanings of its reporters, we as leftist feminists (or what I see most of us self describing as anyway) preach about believing victims first and yet some of you refuse to because you disagree politically with victims. We have no evidence that this is a smear campaign, and you are all for believing victims until its a guy you have a parasocial Tumblr relationship with. Neil Gaiman is not your friend. He's not your buddy Neil, he's a random man in his 60s you've (most likely at least) never met in your fucking life. You do not know him, so don't delude yourself to think you do.

If you love or hate trans people, SA is SA, abuse is abuse. Whether he was, at best, an irresponsible BDSM partner who misused his status as a writer, or, at worst, an outright abuser, or something in between, he is not defensible here. It is of course a complex situation, and not clean cut, but we need to practice what we fuckin preach.

If we don't believe or value the experiences of victims of abuse, or other forms of crime, based on their political beliefs, that is discrimination, and contradicts everything that the community he had cultivated on Tumblr claimed to stand for. If a conservative woman was beating abused, she's still a victim and we, even as staunchly leftist progressives should listen to her, no? You don't have to agree with everyone's opinions to acknowledge their plight.

At the end of the day, what has happened is wrong, and his response was half arsed bullshit that reflected the reality presented in the allegations, and did nothing but serve to make him look worse, much like the earlier situation this year with Wilbur Soot that you may have seen me reblogging about. Bad people are bad people, and the proof is in the pudding, in this case the half arsed responses that serve only as unintentional admissions of guilt.

As for the nature of the publication, I imagine as a heavily radfem anti-trans page, it was more than happy to be the first to break the news of the bad character of a prominent trans activist in television/literature, as it fits their "TRANS = ABUSER" narrative. I do not deny that. However, the victims themselves, as far as I can tell, are evidently former fans, who present actual evidence as confirmed by Mr Gaiman's statements, and thus we know this wasn't, at least on their end, done as a TERFism motivated career assassination. If the publication took this under the guise of causing ill repute for TIRFs and progressive politics, we cannot prove that, and it does not negate the nature of what has occurred.

I'm not here to argue with TERFs, or anyone else, about the nature of gender. That's not what I want to incite, I simply want to acknowledge the glaring hypocrisy from certain people in this online space. A victim of abuse that is a radfem is still a victim, whether you want to acknowledge that or not. I can acknowledge that, because guess what? Me disagreeing with someone doesn't make them subhuman dirt that doesn't have rights. What I'm really saying in this part is, don't bring gender politics into the reblogs, I do NOT want that and I will simply block anyone trying to incite needless arguments with me or anyone else.

TLDR; BELIEVE VICTIMS AND DONT BE SELFISH DICKHEADS WHO PRIORITISE THEIR OWN ENJOYMENT OF MEDIA OVER REPERCUSSIONS FOR ARSEHOLES AND CRIMINALS BECAUSE YOU THINK THAT THE WANKER IS YOUR BESTIE AFTER HE REBLOGGED YOU ONCE. WHERE THOSE INVOLVED STAND ON GENDER POLITICS DOESNT CHANGE THE NATURE OF UNRELATED IMMORAL/CRIMINAL BEHAVIOUR THEY INSTIGATED/WERE VICTIM TO.

[bloggingboutburgers]

Hi, kinda random, but I could really use some advice. I really wanna write a qpr but feel like I dunno much about it- uh- so yeah! Just wanting to ask how I should do it- like, how do I do it?? How do I represent this while being accurate and respectful?? I know the theory but like addhhbbkjt

Sorry if I am being weird I dont really know how to phrase this Q_Q

...OK so this is gonna sound funny (or not) but... I've been toying with the idea of developing a story involving a fictional QPR as well recently and... I have no idea how to go about it either. Despite being in one!! I actually have trouble explaining what a QPR means to most people honestly TwT

But I'll do my best to give a few pointers from my experience:

Needless to say, kinda, but a QPR is NOT a romantic relationship. It may LOOK like it on paper but I guess the way I see it, there's a lot less... Grandiosity and possessiveness than with romance. It's a lot more chill, I guess I could say. It's not like "this person is my whole life and I would die without them" or something, it's more like "this person is pretty great to experience life with and it'd be pretty cool if this lasted as long as we both vibe."

A QPR is NOT inferior to a romantic relationship NOR is it superior to a friendship, in my opinion. I see no scale of value of the sort. Each of these things are their own thing is all.

Considering it's quite the particular situation, no two QPRs will be the same, I think. So you can at least rest easy considering there can be quite a lot of variety in this type of relationship.

What I mean by that is, not everybody who's in a QPR will be comfortable will the same things. For example my partner and I may give each other lip pecks (never any tongue), but it took us years to be comfortable with the idea, and it doesn't necessarily mean everybody in a QPR will be at ease with that. And conversely other people in a QPR may be comfortable with a level of intimacy we may not be comfortable with.

What that implies is, in my experience at least, a QPR means a LOT of communication. My partner and I constantly have heart-to-hearts about what works or what doesn't for us, and are both aware some things may change over time.

As an aromantic, I value being in a QPR deeply because it responds to some issues that I think a lot of fellow aromantics probably face: the first is needing human connection, like any person, but having to struggle with the fact that you'll always come second after your friends' romantic partners and kids (if they have any), and the fear of abandonment that comes with that; the second is wanting human contact and affection, like any person, but having to worry that if you seek affection from or give affection to a person, they'll catch romantic or sexual feelings for you and it'll turn ugly for you, kinda. Being in a QPR responds to both those needs while negating these fears. If I ever wrote a fictional QPR personally, I think that last point would be what I would wanna emphasize the most, in my own voice. Because it's so key.

As usual I suck at being succinct and all, but I hope these were helpful! TwT And I hope nothing I said here misrepresented other people in QPRs out there

[pissmoon]

IF INSTAGRAM BITCHES STILL WANT TO DISCOURSE 'PICKMES' IN MF 2023 OK HERE WE GO. I have many thoughts about how 'feminist' criticism of 'im not like other girls' is centered around the idea that the only reason why a teenage girl could ever feel like this is being motivated by 'male attention' alone, and never ever because, at that age they dont have much better language to describe the feeling of alienation from the gender roles and expectations on what it means to be a 'girl'. If u throw the term 'internalized misogyny' around so much it should not be hard for you to understand that women and even little girls are socially conditioned to reinforce the patriarchy, women are the guard dogs of the patriarchy actually. Like this is 101 shit to anyone that thinks they get to call themselves a 'feminist'. Little girls who are raised to believe that 'girls' should always be put together, not act up, obsessed with their looks, have to like pink and 'girly' stuff and its abnormal if they do not will often bully and ostraticize girls who dont conform or care about this type of social expectations and standards (depends on your environment, maybe you were lucky enough to not go to school with such girls, but it doesnt mean they dont exist). Like you are 6 years old and everyone ever gives you all clothes everything ever in pink like other colors dont exist - some kids have a very strong gut reaction to being told they 'have to' like something which is why so many girls had a long phase of hating the color pink. 'You HAVE TO like it as a girl' 'no, the fuck, i dont' is a reasonable reaction. These girls are told they are weirdos for being 'not like other (REAL) girls' because they dare to not like wearing hair in braids and skirts feel uncomfy to them since the beginning but if they choose to reclaim it and take pride in the fact they can just be themselves without caring what they are supposed to be like as 'girls', its them who have an internalized misogyny problem, never the girls who bullied them for being bad at makeup, right? 'Its not that all girls are this or that' they are fucking kids and teenagers and society was telling them all girls are this or that since day 1 and they ended up believing it, boo hoo. Performing feminity is unrealistic and hard enough for children that they feel alienated from the idea they are a 'real' girl. This brutal enforcement of 'feminity' which is an abstract concept as default in women and girls causes so much needless division between girls/women, it all causes needless polarization over the fact that we are human beings with different aesthetics, fashion, hobbies, temperaments, interests, personalities. We are made to feel like we dont belong, like we are freak abomitations who will never be 'real' women if our hair is messier and we dont care about having our nails done. How about that, how is none of that ever a part of the discussion. And some will say oh these girls were probably lesbian/bi/non-binary/trans dudes, but like my point here is that this shit is 100% alienating for cishet women as well and it doesnt make u inherently trans or something to not like pink and makeup lmfao

[silence-between-seconds]

OK NOW YOUR TURN

pls pls ramble abt any niche interest you have

HELLO THANK YOU

*invokes inner history nerd* so. listen here colonizer and listen good. i will subject you to my random knowledge cuz due to youtube, undiagnosed neurodivergency and most importantly- bad jokes. i have a vari-tea of niche interests but the first thing that came to my mind was my knowledge of the history of how Indians became one of The Top Consumers of Tea.

how did this wonder-drug make its way into our masala covered hearts? what led to the fact that everyday at 4pm the word at the tip of most indians' tongues is "chai"?this is my thesis as a pro desi tea obsessed freak.

This story, like most in our history, starts with the arrival of the British. i would like to insert this picture i found in a video that i laughed at for a solid five minutes:

anyway

technically tea was invented in china, and for a very long time it was exclusively grown there. it was a very high class commodi-tea. it was considered so precious that in 1662 when king charles the second married the Portuguese princess catherine of braganza: her dowry was a chest of tea and THE ENTIRE ISLAND OF MUMBAI (then, bombay) for an annual lease of 10 pounds. let me make that clearer. THE PLACE WHERE A 1BHK HOUSE IS SO EXPENSIVE MOST PPL CANT AFFORD WAS EQUIVALENT TO THIS:

needless to say the brits was so freaking addicted man. they wanted this. so bad.

By the 18th centuary there was a war between the english and the dutch and the brit resources were down the toilet so they couldnt afford to spend all that silver on the trade of tea leaves with china. and china was uninterested in anything the white boys were offering.

UNTIL they discovered something china wanted.

✨Drugs✨

the white boys wanted that tea. and they would do anything. so they started growing opium in india (by that time they had colonized us bruh. they came into our backyard and were like "bro we're such good friends pretty please let me use ur backyard" "ok what do you want to do w it?" "i wanna grow drugs bro" "....ok" "you'll work for me no bro?" "why would i do that" "bro its ur backyard bro" "what-" *england pulls out slavery* "SHUT UP AND DO IT") (dont come at me lmao this is a very rough simplification of what happened)(imma get blocked for this?)

anyway, brits grew opium and smuggled it to china in return for TEA. FOR TEA. 40.

now after the charter act of 1833 (idk what that is exactly but basically brits lost its trade monopoly with china and so now china said we should see other people and it was an open relationship and britian got very pissed but they signed the act anyway i think)

to deal with this they established the Tea Committee (this isnt the first government board specifically for tea. there were plen-tea of others like the Tea Board Of India) which dealt w the extraction of techniques, tea seads and resources from the chinese. this was highly unsuccessful and china was not impressed. this is an example of british desperation they'll do anything at this point. (took everything in me to not insert pictures of how they treated indian farmers. it was *inhales, lets go of anger for my ancestors treatment* bad)

but in the end this qoute i found (undoubtedly by a white man) "fortune favours the white men" came tru and they got their way.

oh you thought i was done? haha babygurl i am not

in 1843 robert fortune, who was a scottish horticulturist, went on a solo trip to china to study (read as: steal) tea plantations. no actually apparently he did study cuz he published a book(i forgot the name).(yes. HIS NAME WAS ROB. FORTUNE. talk about being born for a job)

lemme insert a quick meme here:

(they actually hired him on the spot and gave the amazed man 500 pounds per annum and sent him off to china)

he was to perform what we call The Great British Tea Heist the brits had found their vigilan-tea

my guy was committed to his role and shaved his head and pretended to be a monk and after 3 months wrote a letter to his company saying "bro i got the goodssss"

lmao no this it what the letter said- "l have much pleasure in informing you," he wrote, "that I have procured a large supply of seeds and young plants which l trust will get safely to India."

NOW they finally had the greens and started planting it in india. over the years indian tea topped the market in britian as the best tea. mostly cuz the white boyz HYPED it up. they even started doing diss tracks for chinese tea. this is something read right out of an advertisment- "indian teas are more wholesome, purer, cheaper and better than chinese teas in every single way". white boyz started saying stuff like they got out of a toxic realtionship with china and a healthy one with india (but they were the toxic ones)

now brits tried to globalize indian tea to get the moneyyy~ from indians.

their first experiment with (another) government body for tea- Indian Tea Association began on the indian railways. these railways were the ancestor of the IRC-tea-C. basically they started making tea on the railway platforms. this started the trend of tea being the signature experience on every indian train journey, from the first class to economy, everyone was having it (cuz trains were introduced and quickly became popular in use). train tea was said to be better than the quality of tea in 5 star hotels. and this converted us from a nation of tea-totalers to teach addcits.

now i just have one thing to say in the end. HOW did the quality decline so badly my desi brothers and sisters? nowadays the tea on trains is basically water but brown. milk is a lie.

anyway. on the end we got it right. we took tea from the chinese and brits and we added milk and we added sugar and we got:

✨chai✨

you have reached the end. congrats.

[theosconfessions]

You are super cool and awesome and neat, yay! Also do you want to share more about growing up in a haunted house? ;)

omg you are the sweetest!! i was just putting in some drafts for the week coming up and i seen this and was like I SURE DO. now my mom has more stories than i do. BUT one that i still have reoccuring dreams about to this dayyyyyyy and im in my 30s.. is the apartment we grew up in when we first moved out here with my mum [ my dad was there too at the time but not really so literally just my mum in this]. so heres the thing. me and my twin never discussed this with my mum and she never discussed it with us until a few years ago . so its like we all validated out own stories and it made sense to her why she kept having experiences in that place. so. when we first moved there me and my sister were super young.and to help paint a picture of the place there was an adjoining closet that connected both rooms. our bedroom and our mums bedroom. this had a wall seperating them but it was technically the same closet. the first night we spent there she told us she woke up to a man in the closet... with a fucked up neck if you get what im saying. i dont want tumblr to get me haha. she told him he wasnt welcome here and to leave [she is a nurse and she was used to seeing shit . especially working night shift so this really didnt make her flinch here] now cut to us dumb ass little girls in our bedroom .. i remember one day seeing a boy come to us. we invited him to play barbies with us. and we named him andrew. and we remember there was something wrong with his neck. even as we grew up and we stopped seeing him physically we sensed shit in that closet and also..there was weekly occurances of what we called 'the radio men' which really sounded like a muffled group of guys talking from the living room. like they were on the radio but really really low. needless to say we spent a good bit of nights in our mums bedroom growing up. i still have dreams either trying to get out of that place or get to it for some reason. and i actually live like a five minute walk from there and often wonder how the people who are there now are doing. i like to think that my grandparents keep me protected from whatever that was now. but it still is pretty strange that now in my 30s im still dreaming about that place. likei said though my mom has stories for DAYS. this is just one. also a super short one... this isnt a ghost story per say because hes not a ghost but we were always close to our grandparents.and at the time we were in middle school they lived in south carolina. we live in pennsylvania. so its a bit of a way. i remember we went to see my grandpa in the hospital about a month before he passed and on our birthday week [me my sister and my grandpa all shared the same bday within like 4 days. his wa son the 11th ours is on the 15th] he seemed GREAT for what he was going through and i see now its because we were there.when i say this man set a prescendence in how a man should treat anyone i mean it. i still hold what he says in me to this day. fr. dont accept any less. so back to the story we were TIGHT with him. ride or die . the day he passed away we had a volleyball game we had no idea he died. i remember looking over my shoulder and seeing him in the stands. i thought hmm.thats weird. hes in south carolina [and also had cancer ] my mum came and got us and when we got home she told us that he passed away. but clear as DAY. i remember seeing my poppop in those stands. the veils always been kinda thin on this end of things. i think i get it from my mom haha. but thats just some of them~ lemme know if you have any!

[scattered-winter]

I JUST REAliZed ThEre ARE QUESTIONS IN THE THING I CAN ASK YOU HERE GO HAM

13, 15, 27, 39 <3

YAY YIPPIE

13. What is a subject matter that is incredibly difficult for you write about? What is easy?

so thing about me is fiction/writing is my way to explore things. right. i write whump because those thoughts and feelings are fascinating to think about and explore in a context where nobody is actually getting hurt. but there are a few things that i don't really like writing about because they hit a little too close to home yk. don't wanna go exploring shit i've already lived through bc i know what that shit feels like and it sucked. so stuff like terminal illness, bad car accidents, suicide stuff, and religious cults (i'll happily write something Similar to a cult like w adam in the werewolf au, but bring religion into the mix and its a no from me). and rape/noncon. i'd write most of these under the right circumstances (like shiro's illness in qs) but Overall its usually a no and something that's always been easy for me to write about is found family! i feel like it just comes to mind easily and its also very fun to write

15. Do you write in the margins of your books? Dog-ear your pages? Read in the bath? Why or why not? Do you judge people who do these things? Can we still be friends?

i write in the margins of books sometimes! only if i own them ofc but for a while i was working on annotating my copies of the six of crows duology. that was fun i should pick that back up tbh. i generally don't dog ear pages just bc i dont like how the pages lay when they have a crease in them, but i'll do it if i don't have a bookmark around. and i literally don't care what people do with their books like. if someone's defacing library books i have a problem with that but if they own them????? WHO GIVE A SHIT and funny story i've actually dropped books in the bathtub before when i was younger. needless to say i do not read in the tub anymore because someone as uncoordinated as me should not be doing shit like that

27. Who is the most stressful character you’ve ever written? Why?

qs is on the mind so tbh probably shiro. i feel like his whole character got completely steamrolled (maybe even more so than some of the others) and i want so badly to do him justice that it stresses me out lmfao. outside of qs its literally fine its just when im trying to fix an unfixable show LMAO

39. What keeps you writing when you feel like giving up?

i think just. interacting with friends and commenters who remind me why i started sharing my writing with people in the first place. the community of it all yk. i've been writing since i can remember but the MOST fun i've ever had with it has been when i'm sharing it with people and they're giving feedback on it or yes and-ing with someone in dms. genuinely one of the best things ever im so fr

writer ask game

[mikajihiko]

Given Mix_20 Thoughts! Can I just say my respect for Ue has increased drastically, how drastic it already was in a way I thought it couldnt get any bigger than this, but it did, and heres why! When Hiragi first reached out the Rikka, he only ever requested Ritsuka to finish the song (yes Hiragi forced him to actually do it butsdkjasd) He never said Ritsuka should follow Yuki's sound, everything else was on Ritsuka. Even Hiragi was surprised when he heard

To make it clear, its not because of Hiragi forcing him that made him want to do this song, we all know Ritsuka has no problem saying 'No'; the real reason I’ll tackle later on. But, the reason he didnt want to do it was because of the emotional weight he felt when listening to Yuki's song

Sure, first it was uncomfortable by the mere fact that it was Yuki- Mafuyu's ex and shizuragi's childhood friend. Most especially, especially after feeling the remnants of Yuki's emotions, especially when he knows how Yuki passed away, it would’ve made anyone want to quit

But again, that didnt stop him, instead it propelled him further! Mix_20 gave emphasis on the reason as to why and it’s because Ritsuka wanted to not only to give closure to Mafuyu. He also brought it onto himself to give these grieving childhood friends some closure despite it not being his responsibility, and he was very aware that it wasnt. But, he saw an opportunity to do good to others and took it. It was emotionally tolling for him, yes, but not because he was forced to make music, BUT because he wanted to do give his all as someone who is a perfectionist; He wanted his gift to be perfect

And thats not the only thing that amazes me, he also showes respect towards Yuki's music by saying he was GLAD to have listened to Yuki's song (あの曲をみつけられて 良かった). And he turns the stressful experience into something positive, saying he feels very much personally fulfilled about not only being helpful to others, but as well as a self-accomplishment by seeing the proof of his own capabilities. (「ここまで やれる」 それが証明できた. 今は、それが満足だ ) Mix_20

Ritsuka could’ve chosen to be selfish. Just like how initially, he had made the 2nd part of Yuki's song to sound like him, as he was responsible to finish the second half- a change Hiragi noticed (mix_9). This was when Ue felt like shifting priorities to reaching Mafuyu

The shift of knowing that Mafuyu had been feeling lonely all those times. Reading Mix_14, surely everyone understands the external pressure added on to Ritsuka as well- guilt of having fun with another band while leaving his own, slowly losing himself in this heavy process. But the message of Ritsuka's story here isnt negative- it’s showing how feeling down and anxious during stressful events is a normal thing, that everyone needs help and deep thinking for them to align themselves.

And of course because of this, Ritsuka got back on his feet as the strong person he is. Not letting the anxiety get to him, and got back to doing things his own stubborn way (affectionate). He lets go of selfishness, knowing with all confidence that his own skills can pull Mafuyu.

And so he did, and this sense of accomplishment he feels washing over him during the end of SYH debut, knowing well he has not only accomplished his goals of pulling Mafuyu but also made Hiragi shine, gave closure to those close to Yuki, and had proven himself to be capable! All the shocked faces coming from Shizuragi really make me laugh. Never would they have thought of Ue to be someone as selfless and giving, but that truly is him. Someone so kind and generous with confidence and power- "fundamentally a good guy"🙈💖

EDIT: I fixed some grammar and punctuation-ings 😭 I wrote it while moved by strong emotions, it was crazy! Needless to say, Im very proud of Ritsuka and I dont think I have the words to fully express myself. I hope this blog can emit even a bit of that feeling!

[goat-shoe]

ok, i Rant time

ive been reading this fic Knowing itd be a mess and im just... ive had it with this characterization! aimless rant below ^^;;;

tw for bullying, harassment, abuse, homophobia

so a lot of highschool AUs are just..... Bad? like LOL sorry :x but. youre taking away everything interesting about the miraculous holders, And youre trying to make Fully Grown Adults into children. ??????

n e ways, i found this highschool dropout au,,, im Sure you can guess how i feel abt dugout and tiderdrop together, but personal biases aside (its Icky to me and someday ill figure out why)..... lets read this fic.

(to prove i am Not taking things out of context, heres the whole fic)

FIRST of all, youre ognna notice that the prose is Boring, written in long and uninspired runon sentences. i dont wanna just bash on an inexperienced writer, but if youre gonna be this lazy about it.. who is it for :x

second, headcanoning mariquitas name as the Only spanish name you can think of that starts with "mari"? is just uninspired. mariquita wouldnt Choose a hero name so obviously close to her Real Name.. again im not an unmasker, but this headcanon is ridiculous....

finally, and most importantly.... "he sighs wearily". umm, No actually. he Doesnt. you dont even get an insight into dugouts thoughts other than "im nervous about school >m<"

Needless to say, this and his whiny, whimpering demeanor is incredibly infantilizing,. Furthermore in this context, all it does is plays into the ""yaoi"" trope of a big buff bad big boy x boy who says uwaaah! (i hope it goes without saying, this is Not a condemnation of boys who say uwahh, yall are doing gods work and ily)

cramming tigerdrop and dugout into this trope comes off as (and actually is) incredibly homophobic and harmful. need i remind you, these are real people. i wouldnt be surprised if this author was a fujoshi or something too :x

anyways.

im a dugout fan Because hes reserved, but in this fic, thats being watered down to him just being sad and whiny.

its just so insulting to be written shrugging every 3 sentences. dugout im so sorry theyre doing this to you ;;;

guhh. ill give them points for this cute relationship with mariquita...

but again, the prose is just.. clumsy. and again, all dugout does is whine about change. its not even a realistic portrayal of adjustment disorder :x

speaking of disorders Lol,

we Know how i feel abt tigerdrop, but i tend to actually like fanfic portrayals of him.

but this one is just... Confusing...

(also we have mandatory "describe their entire outfit in vapid detail" LOL i should have made this a bingo)

i havent really been talking about the plot, but heres what it took the author two chapters to get through:

dugout it new in town, hes nervous about the changes. (we dont even know why he misses home??? just, make it up i guess, god forbid a fanfiction Make That part up!!!!!!)

tigerdrop has lived in new york all his life, and he appears to be pretty bored with life (ex: pushes pipsqueak over just because he thought itd be funny, no doubt an allusion to the canal street incident last july)

his characterization is actually really confusing and i think its supposed to be like, Alluring??? but its just disconcerting :x

thats It. Two established characters and empty conversations with others (the mariquita mischaracterization especially drives me up the wall ever since i confirmed my kin with her)

they meet in math class when dugout unknowingly sits in tigerdrops seat..... girl, Literally no one in high school acts like this.

at this point, this fic is no better than glee and the millions of other incorrect and careless portrayals of highschoolers. tigerdrop has some weird banter with the faceless teacher (yet Another reason i hate most highschool fics)

:/ i Kinda saw it coming, but....

tigerdrop apologizing and not meaning it? In character. But, hes just acting like a greaser, and its Weird

dugout wouldnt care! he would not look like "a deer in the Headphones."

i Realize the author doesnt have a beta reader but :x that doesnt excuse pawning off lazy work btw, in case anyone was wondering....

last but probably Most important: this is setting up such a toxic dynamic. tigerdrop is actively pushing the message that dugout is taking up too much space and he doesnt belong. its alienating and shitty. and this is a fic Shipping Them :x

but i Clicked on a dropout fic, so.... should i be surprised :/

like i said. dugout is Already afraid of him.. his body is reacting just to the sound of his voice, not unlike trauma in PTSD victims!

like. guh. this is literally so toxic. also..

take a shot every time you see the word "smirks"

lips ghosting his nose And ear? Lol.....

likely The Worst way to incorporate their miraculous personas :x reading this literally made me nauseous.

anyways.... thats all of the fic thats been posted so far. so to summarize: this is just Icky. its even worse, setting this kind of relationship in their high school years :x imagine if someone treated you this way! youre Not gonna grow up and marry them.

i Cant even.

~ ty for reading <3 ~

[neoputo]

okay, here we go

[ first of all, a lil disclaimer: these are my thoughts + opinions, this doesn't mean they're 100% right, at all. it's just some stuff i kept wondering abt after reading some theories and thought might be fun (?) to share. just to provide a look from a different angle, and to bring more questioning to the table. needless to say, i very much respect the authors of these theories, and i think their analytical skills are on another level! i would've never been able to come up with all that by myself! AND this post wouldn't exist if it wasn't for those analysis. so yeah, just wanted to make this clear. ]

anyway, these are some things i found that i think the following theories don't cover/might've missed out/might be wrong abt:

first, about "the *original* original sin theory": i feel like something's missing. this something being: there is no explanation for aziraphale's weird ass smile in the ending/credits scene. like, while i was reading the theory, i found myself nodding most of the time, and when i was getting closer to the end, i was hoping there would be some explanation for that final scene. but there wasn't! look, i'm not that smart, so i find it really hard to figure out why azi would smile like that after everything that happened, specially if we consider this theory to be true. something doesn't add up. there's something so wrong abt that smile. like,, on that same scene, crowley looks DEVASTATED and it makes sense! i feel aziraphale should look just as sad and broken, tho, and he doesn't. i mean, if it was a fake smile, i'd believe it was to deceive metatron, or pretend he is okay with his decision in front of him, or whatever. but it's not a fake smile. it's not a genuine one either. it's a very weird, kinda creepy smile??? like, michael sheen, you're amazing! but also, what the heck?! why would azi do that? (i have no idea. this is just me pointing this out, i don't have the brains to figure it out lol sorry!).

now, the other theory, "the magic trick you didn't see": i actually found this analysis very interesting and backed up with a lot of evidence as well! BUT (of course there's a but), i also feel like the author was kind of pushing it a bit too much sometimes. let me explain myself: i feel there are some moments that the author catalogues as "metatron's intervention/manipulation of memories" that, in my opinion, dont seem much like that... let's exemplify!

the "before the beginning" scene: honestly, i thought this scene was lovely! and i don't think metatron could've manipulated to draw aziraphale away from crowley. at all. in this scene, crowley is pictured as a cute little baby angel; so pure, so filled with excitement and curiosity and hope. he's also a bit naive, too, specially in comparison with aziraphale, who, on the other hand, looks baby but not so baby... he knows how things work up in heaven, he knows angels aren't that good (tho he might not admit it or say it out loud), he knows they aren't as free-willed as they might think they are, or want to be. so ofc, when crowley starts making questions + suggesting a suggestion box, aziraphale worries abt him. cus he knows how things work. and he knows angel!crowley could get in trouble for that. and he likes angel!crowley, boy! he so obviously does. so, aziraphale, much more aware of the situation and the way things work, is not withdrawn by crowley's innate curiosity. i think he actually likes that abt him, he might even think it's adorable. azi is just scared of what could happen to baby crowley, and i think he's trying to protect him. in conclusion, i personally think both aziraphale and crowley feel very much in character, which is to say, this memory doesn't feel/look manipulated or altered by metatron. not to me at least.

—i think there might be other scenes that the author labeled as "metatron's intervention/manipulation of memories" that i don't agree with, but i don't remember rn. guess i should read the analysis again to refresh my memory, but i won't do that rn, sorry!

also, i've already mentioned maggie's possible autism on another post!

okayyyyy,, this is it. i hope y'all (whoever you are) enjoyed reading this & thanks for taking your time! pls let me know what you think! i love discussing theories and thoughts on good omens with strangers lol but fr!

byebyeeeee

[captainsquality]

I live in northeastern Kansas, which is probably the most heavily populated region of the state. My hometown is probably what you'd call mid-sized(at least for this part of the country) and last I knew a very rough census put our local population at ~100,000.

Now my parents and I moved last year and live more toward the north part of town which quickly pitters out into more rural areas, but we previously lived further south around the central part of town. We were reasonable walking distance from both major local hospitals and one block off of one of the busiest major roads(6th avenue).

Within two minutes of driving one direction is the downtown area with all the corporate buildings etc. the other direction, the same amount of time in the car, is the western campus of one of the hospitals where the psycch ward and behavioral healthcare offices are, the Huge Local Park, like the community center type one with gardens and a huge pool and carousel. the place you go to plan a huge bday party.

just past that is a major thoroughfare with a SHIT ton of fast food places, multiple grocery stores and pharmacies- the zoo is also in this area, but it's very well contained(obviously) and taken care of.

all this to say that the park around the corner from the house we lived in at that point(and had since I was age 5, in 1996) was not a place you would or by rights SHOULD expect to encounter any kind of larger wildlife than squirrels and songbirds, the occasional rabbit or tiny lizard.

A list of Outstanding Specimens I have encountered over the years follows.

-A wholeass hawk that swooped down over the open area/field next to the tennis court to scoop up and depart with its dinner, an unfortunate squirrel

-in the 'creek'[manmade, not an Actual Creek, connected to an underpass that lets out somewhere downtown. dont ask me why i know this], a snapping turtle at least twice the size of your average house cat. it tail made it more reminiscent of a very small crocodile wearing a combat helmet as a shirt. (this instance was probably in my middle childhood over summer, while out playing with my younger brother and the neighbor kids)

-Usually in passing, I have multiple times seen red foxes in the area, and at least once a very confused coyote who apparently got off at the wrong bus stop or something

-Large waterbirds like herons. Several springs and summers there were entire GROUPS of them that seemed to nest nearby and they just chilled on the playground equipment. Those things are fucking huge do you know what it is like to be a child/teenager and sitting on the swings and suddenly like three of those bitches are landing on the framework around you. I thought I was going to die

-in most recent memory before our move: AN ENTIRE ASS HOWEVER MANY POINTS FUCKING BUCK. And it was not just In Passing from a distance. No I was ON A WALK, on the cement path from the street to the jungle gym on my usual route, there were a couple of kids from the neighborhood(sisters i think, they had brought juice pouches and books w them too) on the seesaws about ten yards away. That entireass buck BOLTED past me within a margin of ten FEET, ACROSS the span of the playground, past the terrified little girls, down into- and ACROSS- the ditch we referred to as The Creek and then off through the neighborhood to god knows where. That same deer appeared downtown later that same afternoon, apparently, and crashed through a shop window before it was contained and removed from the area.

Needless to say I froze, lIKE A DEER, and exchanged a long look with those little kids. And I simply said, calmly as I could, bc as a 20-something I was the adult in the situation and could not be panicking, "hey you two might wanna run on home for a bit k? or at least have a grownup with you in case that fella stomps through again" and they were like. nodding rapidly and grabbing up their crayons to scamper off home.

Myself, I proceeded to about-face and walk right back around the corner and to the house, entering the home like That One Candace Meme, You Know The One.

These are just a few instances from the 25+ years I spent living at that house. We're not SUPER removed from rural areas, as I mentioned, our town is more mid-sized, it's really not a metropolis, but this was still basically one of the most heavily populated parts of the city. And I have still heard PLENTY of Bigass Animal Stories from much bigger cities.

something something lawless wasteland/hellscape, or whatever. fun fact you can pass within twenty feet of a bird of pray nearly the size of a dog and as long as you are like ignoring them and calmly passing through like It's Your Job they dont giveafuck and will let u be, i know from experience necessitated by unfortunate proximity at the time

A BEAR ATE MY BEST HUMMINGBIRD FEEDER.

Rude.

[drowninginredink]

If ur not up for your blog to become a discussion hub you can delete this ask but notthatalex' analogy of "but for some reason, people are really scared to roast you, excluding you entirely from that dynamic" I don't think quite makes sense. Within a friend group there Will be healthy boundaries. So therefore there should be some too when we joke to an audience. People roast and joke their friends because they know each other, have given the ok and know they dont hold ill will - if that isn't the case there's a clear problem that should be ideally addressed! Comedians like the ones in Smosh have a platform which I think is ok to demand it to be used responsibly. There's a difference in making a joke where the punchline is "get it ? it's a gay guy, that's funny on its own" and making a joke that happens to include gay guys/their experience for example. Also as much as we want them to, jokes can't exist in a political void. It's already been well documented that memes, jokes, comedy can be absolutely used as a propaganda tool and that some "jokes" are actually meant to represent the creator's political stance. A good example from not too long ago is Sacha Baron Cohen who lately appeared in the news for his Zionist beliefs, while he's built his career around making fun of "arabs" that people have been giving him the benefit of the doubt for for years saying it's "satire".

I mean my intention was never to be a discussion hub, but only because I never expected anyone to care enough about what I have to say to send me asks. So sure, let's do this!

But yeah, I would say I'm a bit more in favor of restricting comedians than Alex, but I think what you're saying is kind of misreading him. He made it pretty clear that there are good jokes and bad jokes you can make about anything. And my biggest opinion is, aside from the fact that yes, "I'm a gay guy and that's funny on its own" is problematic... It's also not funny. If you ask me, the biggest thing that makes something funny is surprise. And bigoted jokes are hacky. They're not creative. "Haha this group is bad/weird" is a thing we've all heard before. It's not unfunny when my family makes a joke about Chinese people eating dogs because it's racist, even though it very much is, it's unfunny because I've heard that joke a million times.

But I think the friendship example is actually perfect because roasting a friend requires knowledge of said friend beyond hacky stereotypes, so it's going to have to go beyond easy bigoted jokes. Again, I do agree with Alex in the sense that you can joke about anything, but you've got to do it well. And again, bigoted jokes just aren't funny. They're all overplayed. The only reason people find them funny is because they agree with them.

And yeah, it does suck to be the person in the friendgroup who feels like they're being treated with kid gloves. It's all about knowing people's lines. I know seeing the TNTL roasts of Angela made me so uncomfortable at first because I basically am Angela and the particular points they were hitting are things I'm super sensitive about. So if I were her, I would have felt like absolute shit. And then I saw her say how much that made her happy because she felt seen, and how it meant so much to her. And that's made me actually really embrace that view of it and encourage my friends to roast me like that. Because you know what? This is who I am, and I do want you all to see me in my cringe glory. Because being cringe is a good thing. So like, to me, that's what Alex is saying. You've got to know the lines, but imagine how it'd look if they never went after Angela.

Also I don't exactly keep up with Cohen, but I have seen... Whatever the name of that movie was over my brother's shoulder and needless to say, it was a yikes and I don't know how we let anyone who made it say he was at all progressive. I mean, to be fair, of course it was a yikes. If my dad likes a thing, that's always a red flag.

[hurricaneonanesthesia]

Can I request a Phoneix request where the reader is a Healer/radiant agent who controls water. Everyone thinks they hate each other bas on who reckless he is and how he usually gets into bad head on first with the reader trailing after him for heals that usually lead into arguments. When in reality these two are dating and the reader is worried for his safety and Phoneixalways have to make it up to them. And why not the only person who know is Brimstone and he debating if he should tell the other agents but choose not to.

Yes yes yesssss! Phoenix my beloved <3333333

I am absolutely in love with this request and you nonny for giving me Phoenix stuff to write about. Your hand in marriage please /p /j

I certainly hope that you like this and that I did him justice <3

~Admin Hurricane

Warnings: none

Word Count: 450+

Genre: fluff, established relationship

Pairing(s): Phoenix x GN!Reader

You two were opposites, quite literally, fire and water.

Phoenix is reckless, headstrong, blunt, and doesn’t think before he acts, you, on the other hand, are calm, collected, and always opt to craft a strategy before tackling a situation

Needless to say, on the surface or to anyone who didn’t know you guys very well, one would think that you guys absolutely hate each other with all the bickering that goes on.

Jett totally ships you guys together, even though she has no idea lmfaooo

Of course some of the other agents have suggested maybe not putting the two of you on missions together, but for some reason Brim just brushes them off

What they all dont know, with the exception of Brim, is that you and Phoenix are already dating but it just looks a whole lot like an enemies to lovers arc LMFAO

Brim found out that you and Phoenix were actually dating when the two of you snuck off together after a team meeting and discovered the two of you cuddling together in Phoenix’s room.

He gave the two of you a warning because fraternization is warned against in the Protocol as it could jeopardize missions, but you guys gave him your word that you would prioritize missions above everything.

Brim only promised to keep it a secret after you had begged him to not say a word.

Anyways

Sage is always the one to calm you after you guys come back from a mission, and like you’re just fuming cause Phoenix, being Phoenix was being reckless and stupid, nearly getting himself killed in the process.

You nearly lost it in front of everyone when he came back from Bind with Viper and Killjoy, and you heard that he had forgotten what he was doing only to nearly get shot by his double

It took the combined efforts of both Skye and Sova to hold you back from throttling him right then and there lmfaooo

When you got him to yourself, you ended up lecturing him lmfaooo

Like literally Sage had to kick you out of the infirmary cause you kept fussing over him.

more under the cut!

“You always act so stupidly whenever we’re on missions together,” you grumble, covering his arm with water, sealing up his wounds, “There’s no need to show off, we all know you’re amazing at what you do,” you add, rolling your eyes. He only grins cheekily at you, “I’m sorry, I can’t help it! I wanna be my best for you!” You scoff, pulling your hands away after ensuring that he had no other injuries, “Not if you’re getting smacked around and don’t have any fire left to heal yourself.” He stared at you with a wounded expression, “You don’t think I can handle myself?” You blink at him incredilously, “Not when you’re being an idiot! Just promise me you’ll be more careful please,” you sighed, stowing away any excess bandages. Phoenix shot you a goofy grin, “Whatever you say.”

Reminder that my requests are open! Be sure to send something my way if you’re interested! Requesting Rules are here!

Want more of my writing? Be sure to check out my masterlist. Wanna know what else I’ll write for? Here you go!

Thanks for reading and have a lovely day!

[sailorhyunjinz]

HI BESTIE IMY HEBSBRBS AHH I’ve been so busy ... also recently got super sick and I’ve not been well at all ,, it’s just the flu / a stomach bug tho ! :,) hru ???

Your latest reaction was so good ,, thoughts r being thunk ?? Thinking about skz reaction to you rubbing / jerking their dicks just whenever you’re bored .. and you don’t even really notice that they’re getting off ahah IDK IT JUST SEEMS TO HOT ??

Once they cum or wtv you’re like ;) hsshbrbs

I have a dick but honestly it’s never bothered me reading ur shit directed towards a female reader ? For some reason I really like it bye 😭🤚

-🚬

BABYBOOOY WHY HAVE YOU BEEN SICK?!?! :((( Hope you’re feeling better now, i should give u some of my healing medicin aka my kisses :(( <33 

Also that last bit AAh thank u T-T i try to be more inclusive but like AAAGH im always so scared that i’ll mess something up from my lack of ~ knowledge ~ BUT I REALLY TRY MY BEST >< so thank uuu for having patience for my dumb ass

ANYWAYS SPEED REACTION LEGO 

warnings: skz x gn!reader. handjobs, blowjobs, cum, orgasm (m), cum eating, slight overstimulation

Bangchan

“w-what the fuck” 

yeah thats his only reaction when you suddenly stick your hand down his pants, wrapping your hand around his dick and slowly stroking it while big spooning him

you werent trying to get him off... more like... you wanted something to play with while watching the movie

boy would be ~ flustered ~ 

he’d find it interesting

why would you jerk him off if you didn’t want him to cum yk?

like that type of thoughs

but of course you can’t expect him to not react LMAO

you were fully immersed in the movie because it started to get interesting now and you didn’t notice how you started jerking him off faster. 

until...

you felt something warm and wet hit your hand paired with his dick twitching

you looked at him and saw that poor boy was biting his bottom lip so hard trying to not disturb you with his moans

“did you cum?” you say, lifiting up his pants to which he yelped and put his hands over yours right at his crotch. “n-no”

Minho

be bold with this man 

pull his pants down when he’s just chilling ASHASHA oh god

he doesn’t think it fair 

eventhough he does the exact same to you

when he does it to you it more like he simply wants to feel you all over, not intending for you to get turned on

but make one moan and this mf thinks it a game

“how many times can i get y/n to moan”

NO OK BUT RETURNING TO YOU -> HIM

it would take sum time to get him to cum

he doesnt strike me as the sensitive type and so you could jerk him for quite a while which hey more fun for you

but ooone faithful day he was more turned on than usual leading to him cumming quicker than he usually does during one of those times where you played with his dick

stroking it, running your thumb across the tip, licking it .. you name it...

you smirk when he accidentally cums on your lips and you lick it off and he just starts complaining (yk when jisung bit his fingernail in that two kids room episode, yeah that tone)

“y-you can’t just do that!!” you start chuckling “what? mad that you came like a bitch?” 

nex thing you know you’re pinned against a wall OOP sorry

Changbin

he lives for this BUT only if you give him attention

which you dont because you’re simply bored and dont want to get him off, more like... liking the feeling of having him in your hand lmao

“can you at least look at me?” you shake your head, holding his semi-erect dick in your hand “shh,,, im watching something!” 

that would be the everyday conversation ahsahsha

I FEEL LIKE YOU COULD GO FOR A WHILE??!

he’d be relativly quiet as well so you wouldnt notice until he actually cums and you’re like “...wtf why is my hand sticky”

BRUH U START APOLOGIZING HASHAS HE JUST GLARES AT YOU FOR NOT GIVING YOU ANY ATTENTION

but he came anyways so..

you try to escape the situation but he’s not having it

“nah you’re not escaping now, finish what you started baby”

Hyunjin

another boy thats lives for this 

why? because a) its a handjob b) he likes the thrill of not knowing when you’re bored c) because you forget what you’re doing and he likes seeing you surprised when he cums ASHAHS god bury me 

would purposefully make you bored 

“the wifi is down y/n,, guess we having nothing to do...w-wanna give me a handjob”

you shrug, “alright” 

you’re completely lost in though, wondering when the wifi will return or what you guys should eat for dinner

suddenly he cums,,, a lot,,,

you laugh at him and he’s kind of blushing with his hair covering parts of his face. 

“i-i’m pretty sure the wifi will be down for a while” ;))

Jisung

FUCK YES LETS GO

he would already just be naked infront of you at random times

like,,, whats the point in putting on clothes after the shower if he knows that you are going to sneak up on him and jerk him off yk?

but what this boy didn’t know was how you didn’t notice most of the time

your hand just having a mind of it’s own...

but you’d notice pretty quick 

since this boy LOUD YALL 

whiny mf 

“shush!” you say, scrolling on your phone with one hand and jerking him off with the other.

you didnt intend on making him cum,,, just giving him a massage ASKKASJSKSA

he’d act all like “ppfft... you can’t make me cum from just that-”

and then shuts up because “h-hey... this feels too g-good”

not thinking he’d cum this quick you started talking to him but were quickly cut off from him letting out a long moan

“f-fuck,, y/n..h-haa,,,”

after he cums you’re like “heading to bed”

but he pulls you back, grabbing your wrist and looking at you with big doe eyes

“c-could we keep going?” 

Felix

boy would be walking around, holding his crotch because he never knows when you attack

because he belong to the more... sensitive bunch of boys... HE DOESNT LIKE IT TOO MUCH

mostly because he’d cum too fast and it would leave him embarrassed (awh poor boy:(( ) 

thats legit the only reason LMAO

noo poor boy wants to appear all tough for you even though you’ve told him over 100 times that he doesn’t have to be, you love him for who he is yk? <33

BUT NOPE stubborn baby sets bets with you

“ok this time i won’t cum that quickly... last time was a practice round”

ASHAHSH WHY IS THAT SO FUNNY JESUS

4 minutes later... YEAH YOU GUESSED IT

and you didnt even notice?!?!

you just thought that those sounds were him in like pain ASHShHAS

because you were to preoccupied thinking watching tv

needless to say,,, he was pouty,, for a while

until you attacked again LMAO

Seungmin

ok gimmie a second,,,, i need to think 

alright... he likes it BUT he’s shy

you need to give the puppy some time to warm up 

do it too fast and he gets scared AHSHASH

so ok lets say that the both of you are doing,, nothing

and you just slowly feel him up and it eventually leads to you jerking him off

you’re not even aware of how good he’s feeling with your hand around his cock

“y-y/n can you stop?” 

“stop what- oh”

looking down you notice that he already came, his cum coating the tip and your hand with white thick ropes

NOT THAT HE CAME FAST JUST THAT HE SUFFERED WITH THE SLIGHT OVERSTIMULATION ON HIS OWN

goddamn... seungmin is always so difficult to write for ONLY ME?!?!?

seungmin stans are already knocking on my door SORRY IM TRYING

Jeongin

BLUSHY BOY

I REPEAT; BLUSHY BOY

“w-what are you doing y/n~?” he says while your hand travels down the side of his body while the two of you were chilling in bed. “im bored” you huff out, looking him in those big brown eyes. “we can play videogames!” he says trying to make you get your hand out of his pants but you shake your head. “i wanna play with you instead” 

boy would melt

painfully shy (and hard)

because you it all happened so fast??

the two of you were chilling, everything quiet and peaceful and before he knows it you’re jerking him off vigorously

he covers his face with his hands, occasionally sneaking a glance of your pretty face from inbetween his fingers as you give him a handjob

you’d be too focused watching his face as almost falling asleep not noticing the boy squirming around 

until you hear

“h-hghnn...”

thats his cumming sounds btw HAHSHAH IF I WASNT CLEAR ENOUGH

jesus i cant write reactions for shit BUT THEY SEEM TO BE REALLY APPRECIATED SO YEAH!

I have 2 more of these coming up oh and also remember that this is legit word vomit SO ITS NOT PROOF READ AND UHM... i’ll try to do the two other ones this week heheh ^^

[chocominnie]

Can you trust me? | knj

⇢ pairing: namjoon x reader (idol! Namjoon)

⇢ genre: Angst because Namjoon may or may not be an asshole about important things but also fluff because of sweet-talking

⇢ word count: 3k

⇢ warnings: Arguements but honestly thats it because the rest if fluff lmao.

⇢ Copyright:  please do NOT repost, translate, or modify my works in any way, shape or form, on any platform. If found doing so , it is considered as plagiarism and appropriate LEGAL action will be taken

⇢ Summary: Namjoon keeps making excuses of not meeting up with you and given that you guys have been having fall outs recently, things are about to be put on the line. Will you guys break up? Or will you stay together? Can you trust him..

You have reached the voice mailbox of-

You shake your head lightly as tears feel the brim of your eyes. This is the third time today. You knew that in this relationship with Namjoon would mean that he wouldn’t always have time for you. But for him to not even give you a quick text or just even answer his phone is absurd. You’ve been talking about this meet-up for the past two weeks. Although he is mostly busy majority of the times, a dinner for one night surely wouldn’t affect his schedule right?

Especially with all the things going on between you and him. This date tonight would of approached everything that has been happening. The arguments you guys have are just nerve wracking. Especially when he argued with you for being clumsy because you had spilled fruit juice in his studio.. on the wooden floor. You just didn’t get how it would be a big deal as it was not carpet so an easy clean up. At the end of the day, you guys knew how to get on each others bad side and that’s not good at all.

So here you are now, dressed  in an elegant black dress with that Swarovski crystal bracelet he gave you for your 1 year annivesary. Atleast, that’s when he actually gave a fuck about the relationship. Actually, you can’t even count the amount of excuses he’s made within the past months to not spend time with you. The last time it was because he was washing clothes and didn’t have any to wear right now. In which you had called bullshit because he has more clothes than anybody could ever.

Needless to say, you had ignored his calls and texts for two days to give him a piece of your mind. Namjoon wasn’t the type to over-react on such things so it wasn’t a win situation for you. Instead he sent you some of your favorite chocolates and flowers as an apology as you weren’t speaking to him. Yes, you gave in because who wouldn’t over the dozen of roses and Switzerland made chocolate?

This time is something different though.

The waitress returns with a bottle of champagne with a bucket of ice in her hands, and while she sets it down, you quickly wipe the stray tears away and force a smile. You didn’t even notice they were there before.

‘‘ It seems as though my significant other..” You take the napkin from your lap and throw it on the table. “ Will not be joining me today. I’m sorry to keep you waiting.”

The poor waitress had been waiting for you to order your food for an hour now. You’d kept insisting to wait because Namjoon would’ve been there any minute. Turns out you were very wrong.

She smiles softly, popping the cork off the bottle and pouring a glass for you.  ‘‘Shall I give you the bill then?’‘

As if you would be the one paying for this, when he had broke his promise for you. Broken promises are a thing you hated and he knew that. Putting this on his tab wouldn’t bother him with your petty little antics. The boy is a millionaire, something like this doesn’t even make a dent. Somehow though, you wanted to pay him back for not even showing up.

‘‘Put it on Kim Namjoon’s tab. He’ll be the one paying for this.’‘ You mumble to the young girl. The girl nods her head and pulls out the tab and hands it to you.

You sign your signature on it, and place a good thousand dollar tip on it. The feeling of satisfaction soothes you. He’d surely be paying for his time away, and wasting this waitress’ time. You hand it back to her, waiting for her reaction to the amount. Sure enough she doubled back to you when she realized how much was on the tab.

“ Ma’m? You added two extra zer-”

“ My date wasted your time love. He’s deeply sorry for it. Do something good with the money yeah?” As if the sinister smirk to yourself wasn’t enough, you quickly get up from the table and thank her again before heading to the exit.

The taste of the sweet yet tangy wine soothes the emotions flowing through you right now. Kim Namjoon. A guy who cancels dates a lot. A guy who does not keep his promise.

The only place you knew he would be at rather than his apartment would be at the BigHit building in his studio. He’s always there rather it be snowing or sunny outside he’s just.. there. It always astonishes you how one can just lock himself in a room for hours. What is it about him and doing that? Last time you paid a visit here Namjoon was eating the dinner he ordered in the room, instead of coming over to your house as he promised.

You punch in the code to the brand new building and a charming sound lets you know you may enter. You smile at the two security guards who give a slight smile then back to the blank expression towards the outside world.

Your heels click against the cold tile making your way over to the receptionist. The air smells fresh, as if someone had just cleaned the room again. The receptionist politely stands up quickly and greets you with a smile and a slight bow of her head.

“ Miss Yn, how may I assist you today?” Her eyes are warm and bright, along with her small smile at you. You wish you could feel happy in this current situation right now.  

“Is Namjoon in his studio again.”

‘‘ Yes Ma’m should I tell him that you are coming in?’‘ She says, smoothing her skirt out before sitting back down about to grab the phone.

You immediately shake your head no. Since he doesn’t like showing up and canceling dates he doesn’t need to know anything at all.

You force a fake smile upon yourself to please her. ‘‘No. It’s a surprise since we have not had the time to see each other in a while.’‘ Oh yes, a surpise it will be.

She nods her head, ‘‘ Yes ma’m. Have a nice night with him.’‘

You say your goodbyes to each other and you go your separate way down the hallway of studios. Each door standing out in it’s own way makes you smile.

Mang Gae Deok Room

Hope world

Golden Closet

Genius Lab

And finally, Mon Studio.

You fluff your hair a little bit before turning the corner to the secluded area. But something takes you by surprise, it makes you tense up. Eyes watering and a little whimper chokes out of you. So this is what he’s been doing. This is what he’s been up to for the past weeks.

Its as if almost you feel your heart stop beating for a mere second. As if the blood in your veins went cold. As if what you’re seeing right now is only your imagination but in reality it is not.

There he is, sitting in his chair while a female takes it upon herself to casually take a seat on his desk, smiling and laughing and all. The pain in your heart makes it hard for you to keep looking. Sure, you guys argue, but ditching plans to do whatever it is with a girl is a low blow. That’s all you can take. That’s all you can manage to see right before he turns to look at you in complete and utter shock. There is no stopping the flow of the tears coming down your warm cheeks.

You look down at the boxed up food you had bought him and the bottle of wine that you had taken then back up at the door. Raising the box in the air, you throw it against the window making the food splatter everywhere leaving a mess. The two inside jump at your actions, but you ignore them and just walk away with utter disbelief.

Foot steps and yelling are heard behind you but you don’t stop. You continue walking, but then speeding up your pace passing the receptionist, who is confused yet concerned, and pass the two security guards with no expression.

Running to the open, vacant elevator you quickly wipe your tears and repeatedly abuse the close button to keep Namjoon from joining you. The image of him you get just before the door closes, is him running attempting to get the elevator door to open. You make sure to make eye contact with him just so he can see your pain.

You sniffle heavily while hanging your head low walking to your apartment. You could understand if it was one of the boys in the recording room. It doesn’t look like a great situation, but the girl did seem comfortable enough with him to sit on his desk. So that only leads you to think about how long has she been around him. The thoughts barricade your mind and before you know it you are face to face with someone standing directly on your doormat.

You dont bother to look up already knowing that body structure. Instead you try and shove past him to unlock your home, but there’s no use because next thing you know you’re being held by your upper arms standing in-front of him.

‘‘ Namjoon I don’t want to fucking talk about it.’’ You grumble, shoveling yourself out his arms quick enough to unlock your apartment enough for you to slide through and slam shut.

Knocks are loud on your door to cause some neighbors to wonder. Let them wonder they can scold him themselves for causing so much of a scene.

‘‘ Yn im coming in.’‘ He yells through the door.

You roll your eyes and stand a few feet from the door with your arms crossed on your chest. The door gives a charm letting him know the pin-code was correct. He shuffles in lightly through the door and closes it gently behind him. You stand there waiting for his explanation as you slowly walk towards him.

‘‘ Yn-’‘

Smack!

It felt good for your hand to connect with his cheek. How dare he disrespect the relationship of you two like this?

Namjoon holds his now sore, red cheek and gives you a serious look, ‘’ That was unnecessary. Let me fuckin expl-’’

Smack!.

Your nose flared in and out as you breathe heavily with your eyebrows furrowed in anger. ‘’ Another woman Kim Namjoon? You didn’t show up to our date because you were doing god knows what with another woman?”

Namjoon bites his lip hard as his eyes narrow, ‘’ Stop fucking smacking me. Let me got damn explain you brat!’’ He yells, pushing you to against the wall.

Your strength towards him was no match. You try to run away but he pins you back onto the wall. You were useless at this point.

‘‘ What’s your problem! Calm down!’‘ He semi-yells, grabbing your face to  make you look at him. You look at him, you look him dead straight in the eyes with anger all over you.

‘‘ Shut up. Shut the fuck up Namjoon. I planned the date to talk about everything happening but you don’t show up? Instead you were chatting it up with another girl.” You pause, ripping your arms away from him. “ That’s not a good look for you.”

Namjoon steps back, scoffing in disbelief. That only pisses you off even more, but you decide that it had been enough smacking him for the night. ‘‘ I wasn’t cheating if you think that. You and I both know I wouldn’t do that, right?”

You glare at him, ‘’I don’t know you fucking tell me.’’

That one single sentence sets him off. Trust is something you two really try to have with each-other but lately that’s been all over the place. Questioning his loyalty to him is like a stab in the back with a sharp, piercing knife. Namjoon puts his hands on his head in shock while walking towards the kitchen. You follow him because the last thing he was going to do to you, is ignore the entire fucking conversation.

The silence is rough. You sit yourself down on one of the island chairs as you watch him pour himself a glass of wine. The one you had bought from the restaurant. The way his jaw locks with a serious pout on his face lets you know, he has some choice words to say. That sharp tongue is just holding it in.

But did you over-react? Perhaps you did? Either way, it wasn’t a great scene to walk in on. Your man and another woman alone in his studio. You can’t help but to have reacted that way. Wouldn’t any other person would? It’s not that she was there, it was the way she was very comfortable around Namjoon to the point of doing what she did. She was also a person you had never met.

Namjoon puts the tip of the glass to his lips, making direct eye contact with you as he takes a long sip of wine. You roll your eyes at his dramatic action.

He clears his throat, ‘‘ Im still young. I have female friends and I have male friends. I would love to have time with them before you start barking up my ass.”

Barking up his ass?

‘‘ So you’re saying that all you were doing was having fun with her cause you’re still got damn young huh? Is that what i’m hearing Namjoon?’‘ That rage begins in your stomach again. Simmering in you like boiling water.

You continue, “ It’s like you just don’t care you left me at the fucking restaurant looking stupid right?”

‘‘ No I wasn’t having fun with her. You ran out without letting me explain, instead you were all dramatic throwing fucking food at my windows.”  The sound of the glass clinking against the counter-top is sharp. You wince at the sound of it.

Maybe you did over-react. But in your defense, you still had no idea who the girl was.

“Yn, how childish can you be right now? Did you ever think that me, one of the members of a worldwide known boy-group will be busy? Hmm? Yes, I should of told you that I couldn’t make it beforehand. I honestly thought I would be able to join you, but I overlooked my schedule wrong. That is my fault. The girl came because she was scheduled to work on our collaboration tonight with me.”

Oh gosh. The guilt takes over your body all at once. This was the last thing you wanted to happen. You really outdid yourself now. During all your rage and tantrum about this situation, you had failed to realize that you had indeed signed up to live this type of relationship with him. Of course he’d be busy, he’s an idol. Not once did you take his feelings and thoughts into consideration this entire time.

“ I don’t know Yn, I don’t know if we can continue our relationship together. You and I seem to be clashing a lot now-a-days. You questioning my loyalty really hurt me. We should think about taking a break, or ending things.”

Tears well in your eyes but you just let them fall. Those words you never wanted to hear ever. Sure couples clash with each-other, but isn’t that what makes them stronger? It’d be One year and a half down the drain if things were to go south now. Namjoon is a sweet guy, but your recent over-reacting scenes is becoming too much for him.

There goes that silence again. You two just sit there, not saying a word. The tension is thick as wood. This isn’t right. This won’t be right. Th emotions in you are running high. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Things were only said in the heat of the moment. You were tired of him always canceling and didn’t even bother to let him explain. This could of been handled better.

“ I’m sorry. It’s just that I’ve been wanting to spend time with you and you keep canceling on me Namjoon..”

He sighs, placing his now finished glass of wine in the sink. He runs his hands in his hair shaking his head again. “ I’m sorry for that. I should do a better job at telling you my schedule.”

It still hurts though. The way he said those words without hesitation. “ Do you.. still want us to take a break after this?”

“ I think that now that we understand each other a little more, we can work on being better together and not seperate.”

You’re happy to hear those words. Namjoon comes from behind the counter straight towards you where you were now standing beside the chair you were once sitting in. His arms snake around you and pull you into his chest, hugging you tightly. You sink into him, nuzzling your head into him with a small sigh.

“ I don’t like when we fight like this. You know I love you right? So much. So, so, much.” He whispers down to you. You nod your head in agreement. It’s something about being in his arms that soothe you.

You feel so complete with just the presence of him. He makes you happy, as you do him. Namjoon is understanding, caring, kind, and so much more to you. He was there for you on your worst days, and was there on your best days.

He plants a small kiss on your forehead, “ Let’s become better together yn. I want big plans for us in the future, and I don’t want to lose you.”

“ I want that for us too. I love you so much Namjoon. Even when things are bad for us, I care a lot about you.”

The butterflies in your stomach settle. Being in Namjoons arms is what home feels like to you. You’re secure and safe.

‘‘ Can you trust me next time? I promise from now on I will tell you in advance if I cannot participate instead of just leaving you wondering.‘

You nod your head, not caring about what he said but only caring about his embrace right now. The only thing you care about att he moment is him and his understanding.

‘‘ Can you trust me?’‘

[whatswexceles]

This is the full things I wrote down daily, they’re minorly outdated so please read the above post for my accurate thoughts!

All previous prefaces apply!! Also a new one!

These are days old and aren't quite accurate anymore, if you want my actual opinions on some of these things refer to the above post.

part 1: dispositions (written 10/02/24)

I'm so tired of the rain world fandom “drama”. it's not even discourse about someone who it actively affects, it's just discourse about how to remember them, and i can't tell if that's better it's for worse. but i just feel like it should be over by now, we should think about what happened, what we learnt from it, what pan did correctly and what pan did not, we should think critically and retrospectively about how we want to remember someone who undeniably had an impact. We should apologize to one another and move on productively. not all apologies need to be accepted, but grudges are just roads to hurting more people and thus it happens again. and I would love to participate in working through that. I've had so long to think on my ideals thanks to this… but instead I feel like I'm looking into an echo chamber.

and goodness does it make me unreasonably mad, and being mad is very, very tiring. Earlier today I kept seeing posts that kept saying that “pansear is still awful because blank and as previously stated i got a bit angry. these are just people holding grudges, we aren't looking at this in retrospective, we aren't being productive, we’re having discourse on whether or not we should, for lack of a better analogy, piss on pansear’s grave (yeah i know its a bit dramatic saying that pansear leaving the internet is basically akin to dying).

I just wish people bothered to see nuance, or bothered to consider the emotions of the people they’re attacking. not only because people can be extremely hurtful when the view the “opposite side” as nothing but an evil person, but also because assuming the opposite side has emotions is usually a better explanation of events rather than “they’re just evil”

it's just easy to get angry at the stuff you see.

and it's easy to get hurt and want to hurt others in repeat

and it's easy to be sad and vent to people about it

and it's easy to find people who were also hurt and create echo chambers

and it's easy to twist what's normal into something that was hurtful from the start

and it's easy to imagine someone behind the screen as a monster

and it's easy to be hypocritical

and it's easy to say something you dont mean when you’re emotional

and it's easy to fake a few images and ruin someone's entire livelihood online

so just… apologize, accept or dont, move on its not always easy

but it's also easy to be tired, to be weighed down by grudges, by people you’ll never forgive

it's easy to drown under the weight of diving lines and superficial divisions and arguments

that's my impromptu poetry i guess, this felt like the easiest way to conclude, i guess

part 2: implications (written 10/03/2024)

i have so many little puzzle pieces of thoughts i want to add onto this whole thing, this ramble/vent might become something of a project for me

today though i just sorta wanted to ramble about how destructive this all is. because looking at how pansear was being nitpicked for problematic behavior, It just looks like the start of a cycle. i already talked about how negative dispositions will warp anything someone does into problematic behavior but there are implications to that. because if you foster a following that finds faults in normal behavior, what do you think will happen as soon as *you* make a mistake, or even a mistake you already made gets dug up. well then you’re gonna get nitpicked to oblivion. If You set the norm to be needless criticism that's what will be employed at your trial. People will try to erase your impact. people will trace over your art in the name of morality.

I guess this is a long winded way of saying that maybe empathy should be employed. maybe what goes around will come around for you before you have a chance to correct. I guess this sits bordering the false allegations that have been thrown towards these people I'm criticizing, which, if I need to say it, is vile. The people that also mindlessly defend people are also perpetuating this. It's harder to criticize them though because largely it's just… insults… and harassment, there's no unifying ideas to scrutinize, its just sort of people who are afraid to grow. Which I guess I can relate to.

idunno, i'll have to think more. I've been feeling a little better, since last night i've found at least 4 tumblr posts that have similar messages to my ranting yesterday. I’m glad there's some pushback but i'm just afraid it's going to perpetuate everything more

Part 3: tearing up roads (written 10/03/2024)

Its earlier than my usual rambling but this is something of a new development and i want to get it out there for discussion, I’m mostly conflicted.

we’re fresh in the aftermath of the screenshots being proven fake and ive seen people ask an interesting question: what else can be, or should be scrutinized for misinformation? What should we have seen this whole time? it's worrying, I started this so confident in who was in the wrong and who wasn’t and now I’m not so sure. so, along with the many posts i've found of people saying that the blatant and somewhat careless spreading of misinformation is an active danger to the rain world art space. I've found a few that people have made to try and recontextualize previous parts of this situation, stretching all the way back to the SC incident, (impact day, may incident, whatever you want to call it) as more misinformation, and they make something of a valid point?

I want to preface this with: I'm very very uncertain whether these ideas are ones I want to build further on myself. I want them here for consideration. I’d also preface it with the fact that My opinion wont change on anyone involved. I still think everybody involved (besides the elusive image faker) made mistakes in an attempt to help people, I still respect everyone.

but moving forward. A somewhat common-ish sentiment is that the initial investigation towards trying to find the NSFW artists back in may was… silly, to put it lightly. I mean i already thought it was silly but i learnt a few new things that make it sillier /neg.

I’m gonna spend a little time making sure what i'm trying to get across comes naturally. especially because i don't want to get into the stupid, nitty details but allegedly it wasn’t really… the most “good faith” investigation. Especially because the people that were being hurt the most were the investigators, which i guess was always something people have been saying but I guess I really internalized it. again none of this is changing my opinion on the people involved. and, i guess, as someone who saw this first hand, It really tracks.

We saw that misinformation was being spread from the start, with the lie that initially got people to harass SC members, saying that it was full of genuinely vile people. I guess seeing this whole thing in retrospect made me realize how much we could’ve changed this if we just… thought a bit more.

I won't touch on the next one more than mentioning it, I recognize i have zero authority in this conversation and zero experience or expertise to add onto it. I saw a post saying that the evidence against emily was misinformed, or heavily misconstrued. It was from someone who apparently knew Emily. Again I’m not going to add my thoughts to this other than my thought process that made me even write this part.

I read that and I thought about how dominated the conversation has been. How many trains of thought will be found once all the roads get torn up? I don't know. In an attempt to finally fit my puzzle pieces together i learnt i might have been making the wrong image this whole time

[In between this and bonus part 4 i had a lot of conversations with people about all this to gauge their opinions. I ended up sticking with my original interpretation of the situation, I still respect all those posts and posters though]

bonus part 4: rhyming (written 10/04/24) I just realized while writing my final essay thing, this has happened before, on a smaller scale. think back to may, when the initial panic was setting in in SC. |when the initial allegations and misinformation about SC hit (that it was full of a few types of vile people) people were worried that being in the server, or affiliated with the server was going to cause harassment because of some misinformation. people now are worried that as an artist in the RW space misinformation will be spread about them in an attempt to cause harassment. it's a really unfortunate rhyme. Let's hope this time it doesn't end with people actually being harassed

I’m really tired.

This is I guess my big long official response to everything that's going on in the rainworld fandom

Since Tuesday I've been recording all my thoughts about this whole thing daily. This is something of a consolidation of all of that plus more. But the original abridged version will be posted in a reblog.

I’d like to preface this with a few things

Firstly: This is a criticism of people’s ideas and philosophies. Not them as a person. I don’t despise anyone involved really either, I’m still friends with people on both “sides” of this dispute. I’ll try my best to avoid name dropping regardless but a few posts come up.

Secondly: if you DARE to harass anyone involved in this you are worse than everyone I’m talking about here

Third: I know there’s lots of misinformation floating around on this and I know I alone can’t clear it all out of my judgments. So if you spot anything I say that is blatantly wrong, I encourage you to tell me. Same goes for criticism, if you disagree with anything i say I wouldn’t mind being told RESPECTFULLY. If you just start attacking me I won’t really bother. I do want to have a conversation here

A few days ago, it came out that the single piece of evidence used to harass the biggest and most influential rain world artists off the internet was faked and spread with little thought of effort. And people have been scared that misinformation will be spread about them, or they’ll make a mistake and get harassed for it. Myself and my friends included.

My goal in this specific essay-post-ramble-thing is to give my thoughts and to write about how I believe to move forward In a way where that doesn't hurt people further, because I honestly don't hold a grudge against anyone who has spoken out against pansear or unwillingly spread misinformation in an attempt to help, or ever people who wrote harmful stuff while angry or emotional.

There is, however, one individual who I will not spare sympathy for. I’ll get to them later.

Something I don't see being talked about that much is that misinformation about pansear and the shipping container have been spread since the initial post made calling out SC. The claim was thrown around that “SC is full of zoophiles and groomer defenders” which needless to say, is extremely false. Not only did nobody in the server know of the allegations until they went public (no hypothetical groomer defender would even know of a groomer to be defended), SC also had one of the strictest “no NSFW/suggestive material” rules of most servers I'm in. it was so strict that deez nuts jokes were off limits.

Was this a purposeful attempt to cause a harrasment campaign or just emotions clouding judgment? The answer doesn't really matter because this sentiment was doubled down on and hurt a lot of people, including myself

Why am I bringing this up? Because this misinformation had a similar, smaller effect to what we’re seeing now. People affiliated with SC were worried that they were going to be harassed for being affiliated with something everyone disliked. Today there are dozens of examples of people being worried about being harassed because someone might not like them and might spread misinformation. Let's hope this time we prevent this from going even further…

But, If it does. If the methods used to persecute pansear become the norm, then that hurts everyone, including the people spreading it. To quote myself from the past:

“…looking at how pansear was being nitpicked for problematic behavior, It just looks like the start of a cycle… …because if you foster a following that finds faults in normal behavior, what do you think will happen as soon as *you* make a mistake, or even a mistake you already made gets dug up. well then you’re gonna get nitpicked to oblivion. If You set the norm to be needless criticism that's what will be employed at your trial. People will try to erase your impact.”

A common sentiment I see being thrown around is that “although the main piece of evidence turned out to be faked, pansear is still deplorable because [X]” and while I personally think pansear has made they’re fair share of mistakes. But a lot of things people put in that X factor is just… silly and can be chalked up to either coping mechanisms or just normal people mistakes. And every time I see that there's always a question in the back of my mind: “Is this an echo chamber?” And I'm inclined to say yes, but I also recognize I'm not exactly an authority when it comes to this, so I’ll leave it up to reader interpretation.

There's one specific person that I have a few choice words for, and that is the person who made the fake image that started this whole damned thing. And although we don’t know who you are, I know you are deprived enough to be reading this. I hope you don’t have a good ending, I hope you don’t have a bad ending either, I hope you’re FORGOTTEN, I hope nobody ever utters your name again. I hope you never leave the swamps of irrelevance. I hope you can see the people you’ve hurt thrive more than you ever will.

With the trash out of the way, how do we even move forward? my hope is that we can do it with forgiveness. Not all apologies need to be accepted but we should at least extend our sympathy to each other, it’ll be easier for all of us if we do. We should think about what we all did correctly and what we didn’t, and how to do better next time. We should think about how we all got taken advantage of with this misinformation and how to prove evidence next time. Does it even matter if pansear was deplorable or not when we’ll all likely never see them again? Can we all work on setting our grudges to the side? If we don't like someone we can just not interact with them.

Us as a community have a responsibility to think through all this and figure out our priorities moving forward. We all have a responsibility to coexist with each other. We all have a responsibility to treat everyone with the benefit of the doubt.

I think I speak for everyone in this whole situation when I say that we are ALL tired of this