#need to update my resume for a scholarship thing?

[lois-thegreat]

nobody appreciates the accents of pink i add to my resume. which is a shame because if i had it my way it would be scented and have hints of glitter

[the-common-cowgirl]

The Blood of the Dragon

Ch:2 - Good Hands

Pairings: Aemond x OFC (Alice Strong)

Summary: Alice needs a break. Her pent up stress finds a new home as she loses it on the nice, new customer.

Warnings for this chapter: Some Strong Language

A/N: I am working to slowly repost an entire fic of mine from AO3. You can go to AO3 and read ahead or tune in twice a week for individual chapters. Please follow fics-by-the-common-cowgirl for updates when I post!

Masterlist

The next morning had gone almost how all mornings had gone since Alice inherited the business a little less than two months ago, when her father died.

Alice woke up too early, baked for hours alongside her mother, opened up the bakery only seven minutes past Eight in the morning this time, and waited, impatiently for no one. She watched people walk into shops across the street and walk past her storefront with bags from neighboring shops but never into her store.

“Alice,” her mother called from the large industrial kitchen behind her. “Sweetling, you need to eat.” Shuffling out from the kitchen, she had a blueberry muffin in her hand. Alice looked at the muffin, at her mother’s shaky hands, then to her wrinkled eyes.

“Thanks,” she said softly, taking the muffin from her mother’s worn and warm fingers. Staring down at it, she remembered the muffin she handed to that man last night. The man who hadn’t left her mind.

Aemond. Just, Aemond.

“What’s on your mind, Sweetling?” Her mother had a way of always knowing when something troubled Alice. Call it mother’s intuition or simply luck, she always knew.

“It’s nothing mom.” Alice put the muffin down on the counter, “Go upstairs and get some rest. You’ve done your part already.”

Her mother smiled with warmth before she turned back toward the door for the stairwell, limping slightly from her condition. “You don’t have to worry about this place. It’s in good hands,” Alice’s mother called out whilst still walking away at a snail’s pace.

“Yes mother, I know. Dad knew I could handle it and all that…” Alice rolled her eyes smiling fondly; so to not show the agitation under her skin. She loved her mother very much but there was so much her father hid from her mother. He didn’t want her condition to worsen with stress Alice supposed, but her mother had no idea how deep of a financial hole they will be in soon if Alice didn’t figure out how to fix this.

“Oh my little sweet summer child.” Her mother’s singsong voice sounded as she started to slowly ascend the stairs.

Summer Child. Alice hated the phrase. It was an old phrase used to humble children born in summer, like Alice was, because they did not know the ‘cold.’ It was a metaphor really, cold meaning bad things to come; bad things that happened. Alice hated it. Alice had seen bad things. She had taken care of her mother at the age of twelve when her health almost completely failed her. She took over her mother’s duties in the home, bakery and raising her younger brother alongside tending to her mother, and just barely getting through schooling those few years. When her mother got better, the little bit she did, Alice continued the duties she resumed alongside getting a job to help pay for the bills. She did all of that without complaint. But, she was a Summer Child, not her brother who fucked off to gods-know-where the second he turned sixteen, leaving Alice alone to assume the family business and baggage. But no, Alice said ‘fuck this,’ too and left for college at eighteen in Pentos, accepting a scholarship that paid for half of her degree in Business Administration.

It hurt her to leave her mother, to leave her father and to leave the baggage they carried but she thought that maybe if she got a degree in Business of all things, it would surely save theirs right?

Wrong.

Alice had never felt more like a failure in her life. An MBA and nothing to show for it but a failing business that was handed to her of all things.

Alice groaned and put her head in her hands as she contemplated her life.

How did I fuck up so badly? Where did I go wrong?

Shoving down her self pity and standing up straight, Alice decided it was, for her mental state and the state of the business, best to get to work. She went to the back and grabbed a broom, sweeping the creaky wooden floors. Then getting a mop and mopping. When the floors were shiny, she started wiping down the baseboards. Slowly and carefully, she made her way across the front lobby until everything from the few chairs and tables to the doors and floors glistened and gleamed.

Alice looked across her work with pride then, her smile faded, noticing the sky darkening.

All day and not a godsdamned customer.

She threw down the rag and stormed into the kitchen, preparing the kitchen for lockup as she had a thousand times before.

Alice began moving the trays from the display case at the counter back into the kitchen after preparing it. She’d give the unused goods to a women’s shelter just a couple blocks away in the morning.

Halfway done with her work, Alice stormed back out of the kitchen when she was stopped dead in her angry tracks by a tall, handsome silhouette waiting silently at the counter.

Alice stared at Aemond in disbelief for approximately half a minute, and he let her. He stared back at her with a deadly half-lidded gaze that made her shiver with fear and heat pool somewhere deep within her at the same time.

Then she broke the trance, “Uh, I’m so sorry. I did not hear you come in.” She looked up to just above the door where the old metal bell should have been…and it was there.

“I have not been waiting long,” he said impassively.

Alice moved to the counter, ready to take his order, trying to clear her head which always seemed fuzzy around him. Always as in the two times she’s ever seen this man. “What can I get you?” Her warm, welcoming, customer smile appeared across her face. She could feel its lie, she didn’t want to smile at him, she wanted to drool.

Aemond’s eye flicked down to the counter, beside the register, where her blueberry muffin from this morning sat, uneaten. Alice looked back up nervously, unsure of the situation due to the silence.

“Did you lie to me?” His soft voice came from lips that were too perfect for a mere mortal, yet, Alice couldn’t help but be confused, unsure if she heard those brilliant lips right.

“What?”

His gaze flicked back up to her. She was unable to read his emotion, if he had any. “You said you recommend the blueberry muffin, but here one sits. It’s clearly intended for you, yet, untouched.”

Alice’s smile faltered, “Uh, I uh- I just haven’t had time…”

“Because you’ve been so busy?” He retorted quickly, slightly accusingly, raising and eyebrow over his brilliant blue eye.

Alice tried to blink away his brazenness and fixed her jaw, steeling herself from saying something stupid. Oh, but it was so hard, “Are you watching my store’s business?” Her tone was accusing, harsh, but not as harsh as she could have been or would have liked to be, “Are you another developer?”

Aemond smiled, as if he had achieved something and shifted his stance, settling into his hips, standing ever-so nonchalant as if he enjoyed her little burst of anger.

And that made Alice angrier.

“You know what I highly recommend? Developers stop coming into Flea Bottom and wringing the life from what mom-and-pop shops we have left here. I know they blacklisted my bakery on their tourist sites. I know other shops aren’t recommending our name when people ask where to go. But you blood-sucking developers have to stop somewhere right? When will enough be enough?” Alice picked up the blueberry muffin meant for her and tossed it angrily at Aemond who’s quick reflexes acted immediately and caught it in a single hand, crumbs fell to the gleaming wooden floor below but Alice didn’t give it a second thought, “Get out!”

Aemond smiled, as if he had achieved something he had set out to do, then nodded toward Alice, “Have a goodnight, Alice Strong.” He turned and sauntered toward the door, bell ringing on his way out.

Alice ran her hands through her hair, getting muffin crumbs in her locks but she didn’t care. She felt stupid. She cursed herself in behaving such a way.

Gods I’m a moron. Don’t chase away business Alice, he’s the only damn business you’ve gotten recently.

She knelt down and placed her head in her hands, sinking into the old wooden chair behind the counter.

You’re such an idiot. He’s handsome too. Oh, you’re such an idiot Alice.

“Alice?” Her mother’s soft voice startled her as she looked up to the sound. She must have woken her when she yelled at the customer because her mother was in her pajamas.

“I’m sorry mom, go back to bed. I’m just gonna finish closing up and-“

“Sweetling, stress is getting to you. You need to get out and have fun. Why don’t you go meet up with friends tomorrow and I can run the counter?” Her mother smiled hopefully at Alice, as if she had this speech prepared.

Alice sighed. Her heart felt full at her mother’s offer but she knew it would been too much for her mother to run the counter for that long. “Mom, I’d like that but I can’t do that,” she said with an exasperated tone, flashing a reassuring smile toward her mother on a way to thank her for offering such a kindness.

“Why sweetling? You’re afraid for me? I’ll be fine. It’s you I worry about.”

”Mom-“ Alice began the argument but her mother cut her off.

“If I get tired, I’ll close up shop. I promise.”

Warmth spread across Alice’s cheeks, she hadn’t seen her friends still left in King’s Landing in quite some time. “I think…I think I’d like that mom.”

Her mother slowly moved to her and grinned her bright, wavering smile to Alice, cupping her face and placing a shaky kiss to her forehead, “You’re leaving the shop in good hands Alice. Don’t worry about me tomorrow.”

Likes, comments and reblogs never necessary but always appreciated!

[xpc-web-dev]

Updates: I was self-sabotaging and in the end I almost missed two good opportunities.

How are you? I hope well.

I've had more instabilities in the last few days (if you follow me around here, you already know that this seems to be routine HEHUEHEH)

But things are improving and I've set some goals that have helped me feel more confident about where to go next.

Now I wanted to share news, what I learned in this process and what I will share from now on.

The prints above are from processes/scholarships that I was accepted.

The first is the Big data Engineer training proposed by a startup in the state where I live.

The second is training focused on the front-end (from Html to React.js and other soft skills)

The second one I applied for in February and I didn't even expect to be accepted, I took a simple question test and sent it on. This month I received acceptance and I was like "look how cool, I think I can learn well and the bank that sponsors it is famous in my country, so it will be nice to have it on my resume".

This is just a training, no possibility of hiring.

The first is precisely the point of self sabotage that I want to talk about.

Everything involving Data/AI is complex and a hell of a responsibility for me, so it's for everyone, but you have to put in a lot of effort. First I did the test there was SQL (I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW ANYTHING UHEUHEUE, Only with google searches and logic I got it) . And then there were issues with Matrix and Vectors AND I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO GRATEFUL TO NOVEMBER/DECEMBER BEA.

Thanks to all those exercises I managed to do (I just don't know how many I got right and how many I got wrong).

BUT here comes the self-sabotage I applied or signed up for this vacancy more than 3 times (the good and bad thing is that the platform kept the test, so it was only the first one I took) I was ALWAYS like: "I won't make it." "It's going to be too long for me", "I don't even have a background in math (they don't ask for math as a requirement, just a language and sql)", "I won't be approved", " I'm horrible at logic, even if I pass it will go wrong."

And so this week, before they reveal who passed, I wrote to myself again, with the feeling of "Whatever happens and that's it".

The result was yesterday but as nothing appeared in my email I thought,"I didn't pass and it's ok, let's continue with java"

-Yes, I started Java because I signed up for a Kotlin bootcamp sponsored by a good company. The best of this bootcamp could participate in their selection process. They don't pay well, but it would be enough to keep me going, so I just went.-

When I saw the notification in the email today I was in shock for many minutes, before and after HUEUEHUUE. "Did I really pass?"

In this program you can also have access to participate in the company's selection process. But no guarantee 100% work at the end.

I will try to focus more on the issue of doing my best in training and having it on my curriculum. (Strategy to regulate my anxiety). I want to work there, but I don't control the future, so I'll just focus on doing my best.

And this is where I wanted to encourage anyone reading this to try even if they don't think they can.

If I hadn't written myself again for the 4th time this week I wouldn't be in this training that will be good for my CV since I want to go to Artificial Intelligence.

Is afraid? Go scared! You can cross good doors and achieve things you never imagined. So for your future and also past versions, always try to believe or pretend to believe in yourself.I'm still trying, believe me

NOW WHAT WILL I POST?

I will post my routine with each of the classes.

First I'll need to level up my Python and SQL. So even though the big data training starts this week (it will be every day) the first week along with that I'm finishing that python course and practicing SQL.

While Big data will be every day from 19:00 2 hours each class, but I don't know how many classes a day yet. The Front-end are recorded classes and only 1 day a week we have live meetings and I'll probably have to reconcile both, but that's a problem for the future UHEHUEUE.

Maybe I'll separate it into 2 posts so I don't get so confused since they are different things.

I'm excited and wish those of you who are reading and trying to learn code to get good learning opportunities or jobs in the midst of everything that's going on.

Drink water and have a great weekend.

[uncloseted]

do you have any advice for someone going to an expensive university and dealing with loans and student loans and the biden forgiveness plan and explain how that not working is going to affect us ?:( everything just seems so bleak and hard to understand even though it's literally going to affect the rest of my life :(

So the good news is that despite the Supreme Court's recent decision, the Biden administration is proposing a new student debt relief plan, so people who have federal student loan debt may still end up seeing some amount of debt be forgiven. However, that new plan may take time to implement, at least a year or more.

So for now, there are a few things that are important to understand:

The Saving on a Valuable Education, or SAVE Plan, will cut down the amount borrowers have to make on monthly payments by half — to just 5% of their disposable income, down from 10%. This new SAVE plan will replace the existing Revised Pay As You Earn, or REPAYE, plan and “will go into effect this summer,” according to the U.S. Department of Education’s website.

When payments resume in October, the Department of Education will not refer missed payments to credit reporting agencies for 12 months. This means that missed payments won't negatively impact a person's credit score, cause them to default, or cause the loan to be sent to a collections agency.

Before loan repayment starts:

Make sure your contact information is current. Go to studentaid.gov — part of the Education Department’s website — to update your contact information. You want to make sure you don’t miss billing statements and due dates.

Connect with your loan servicer. You want to make sure your loan servicer also has your most up-to-date contact information. Your loan servicer may have changed over the past three years or you may have moved. To find out who your loan servicer is, visit your account dashboard at studentaid.gov and scroll down to the “My Loan Servicers” section.

Apply for an income-driven repayment plan. Many borrowers are already struggling financially. The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau estimates 1 in 5 borrowers are at financial risk of being unable to resume repayments. If you are trying to figure out how to afford those bills in October, apply for an income-driven repayment, or IDR, plan. You can find out more about IDR plans, including the new “SAVE” plan, here.

Estimate your monthly payment and sign up for auto-debit. You can compare repayment plans and get an idea of what your monthly payment will be by going to the “Loan Simulator” tool here. This is also a good time to review whether you have signed up to auto-debit enrollment to ensure your payments are made on time. Contact your loan servicer directly to sign up to automatically deduct your monthly payment from your bank account. Even if you had auto-debit before the pause, confirm that you are enrolled once again with your payment plan.

Open a high-yield savings account. Start making loan payments to yourself now by stashing money in a high-yield savings account. You can go here to find financial institutions offering the most competitive savings rates. Putting money in a savings account, earmarked for student debt payments, can be good practice to see how you’ll handle paying those bills when they’re due again in October.

Check to see if any other student loan forgiveness plans apply to you. If you work in public service (firefighters, law enforcement officers, librarians, military servicemembers, nurses, etc.), if you're a teacher, if your school closed while you were enrolled or within 120 days of your withdrawal, or if the school falsely certified your eligibility for the loan, you may be eligible for debt forgiveness.

If you're currently in college:

apply for grants and scholarships and to continue to apply for them throughout the time you're in school. This can help to reduce the amount of money you need to take out as a loan and lessen the burden of a loan once you graduate.

Look into getting a paid internship. Internships can give you valuable experience and connections that will help you get a job when you graduate, and it will also give you the ability to make money while you're still in school.

Look into working for a company that will help you repay your student loans once you graduate; this link has 20 that will help you out.

If you currently have unsubsidized federal loans or private loans, do your best to start paying them now. These loans accrue interest while you're still in school, which raises your balance on the loan before you even have to start paying it. By paying just the monthly interest charge, you'll keep your loan balance from growing.

If you're someone who's currently applying to colleges:

Do the first two years of college at a community college.  It’s a much less expensive way to get your general education credits out of the way, so that when you get to the more expensive university you want to go to, you’ll only be focused on your chosen field of study.  Set up your community college classes as carefully as you can from the beginning- try to ensure everything you take will transfer over, saving you credits and by extension, money.  

Apply for all the scholarships you can.  They’re  a great thing to have, both in terms of the financial benefit they provide and also the prestige that can go along with having one.  There are tons of them out there, so think about what specific groups you might fit.  There are scholarships for all different ethnicities, genders, interests, major, activities you’re involved in…there are even scholarships for people with red hair, people who are left handed, people who are really tall or really short, people who are proficient in calling ducks.  Pretty much anything that makes you unique is a scholarship opportunity.  There are also bigger ones that are just merit-based and worth applying for as well.  Try here, here and here for a place to start looking for scholarships that might suit you.  

Apply to schools that have a good financial aid program.  Here is a (supposedly complete) list of all the colleges that cover 100% of need based financial aid.

Look into is going to school in a different country.  There are several countries where American students can study for free or very low cost in English.  These countries include Germany, Norway, Finland, Iceland, Sweden, Slovenia, Czech Republic, France and Brazil.  There’s some good information about those options here.  The caveat there is that you’re still responsible for housing and cost of living, but it’s still an option that could be more cost-effective than having to take out student loans in the US.

[impulsivesuperrobin]

things i need to do:

- compile my portfolio

- get my transcript from my old college

- fill out applications for new colleges

- update my resume

- actually tell my parents what i’m switching my major to

things that would be helpful to do:

- talk to my cousin abt how she got into acting

- apply for scholarships

things that i am currently doing:

- failing to take a nap

[transitiontoprofpractiseliammcc]

Entry 2 - current skills and importance of cover letter

Currently through my experience at Holmesglen, Australian Cricket Society and Colac Herald I have learnt how to use the Adobe Suit, research for articles and use camera equipment.

I believe my current employment status as a journalist at the Colac Herald and writing for the Australian Cricket Society has me well placed for an internship application.

It shows initiative and skills in blog writing, feature articles, match reports and interviewing/communication.

Although I have and currently work in a sector of media (print), I believe I still have plenty to learn, and would like to expand on my knowledge.

With communication being a real strength I am able to fit into any work environment which means people enjoy working with me, and the employers know I can work collaboratively with anyone.

Through my previous employment before working in the media, at Better Facilities Cleaning and Yeowarra Tree Farm which are hard manual labour jobs, employers can see I am willing to work hard. I was always punctual and motivated workmates with my upbeat attitude and positive mindset.

These things would need to be listed for my resume to push me forward as a strong candidate for the internship I applied for.

A resume serves as an important reflection of yourself which is presented to potential employers (Sutton, Zeiber, & Firmpong, 2006).

It should showcase your skills, strengths and experiences (Sutton, Zeiber, & Firmpong, 2006).

Employment experiences such as working at a Tree Farm and as a cleaner should be listed if there are transferrable skills that can be used in other workplaces.

A strong resume provides a good first impression and the information on the resume can bolster the applicants position in the pecking order of the application process (Knouse, 1994).

A resume would allow an employer to see through your education, and experiences whether you are a good fit for the job opening they have (Sutton, Zeiber, & Firmpong, 2006).

A good resume should be eye-catching to make you stand out against competitors (Sutton, Zeiber, & Firmpong, 2006), given most resumes are only looked at for 20 to 30 seconds, it is important significant though is put into resume presentation (Eisenberg, 1986).

What sets me apart from many intern applicants is the fact I have won the 2024 Journalism scholarship with the Australian Cricket Society, a 2023 Holmesglen ASPIRE award for Integrity and Respect, and was Trinity College Colac’s Vice Captain in 2021.

It shows leadership skills outside of a work environment, that could be transferred.

Knowing how to interview and write a resume properly are traits that are becoming increasingly rarer.

More and more people are relying on web portals for resume and interview advice for applications with large companies (Savickas, 2019). 

Stein (2003) says that two important qualities of a strong resume are hooking the readers attention within the first few sentences and give reason to how a company profits from hiring you.

Those are things I should look to add to my resume.

It is important that a regularly tweak my resume, as updates are needed as my career progresses.

Many students fail to update their resume on a regular basis often submitting an out-of-date resume (Hackbarth 2009).

Eisenberg, J. G. (1986). Guidelines for writing an effective resumé. Journal of the American Dietetic Association, 86(10), 1401-1403.

Hackbarth, G. (2009). IS Student Resume Writing Exercise.

Knouse, S. B. (1994). Impressions of the resume: The effects of applicant education, experience, and impression management. Journal of Business and Psychology, 9, 33-45.

Savickas, M. (2019). Career counseling (pp. xvi-194). Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.

Stein, M. (2003). Fearless Interviewing.

Sutton, T. M., Zeiber, R. A., & Frimpong, E. A. (2006). Developing an effective resume or curriculum vitae. The AFS guide to fisheries employment, 2nd edition. American Fisheries Society, Bethesda, Maryland, 13-37.

[atlafan]

Part One - “Call me Jane.”

a/n: here’s part one of nanny!H, I’m very excited about this series. I’m not sure how many parts it’s going to be, so please don’t ask lmao. Once I know how many parts it’ll be, I’ll make a master post for it. I’m just too excited not at least share the first part because Harry is just too cute in this! Feedback and reblogs are super helpful, and keep me motivated, especially when it comes to writing series. (not proofread) You can support me here if you’re able!

Warnings: none...for now

Words: 4.1K

Pairing: Harry x OC (Jane Watson)

Master Post

Harry found himself in a real bind. He was twenty-six years old, had an early childhood education degree, and the daycare he worked at was going under. He had just been promoted a month prior too, how could things go wrong so quickly? Times like this he really hated that he stayed in the states. Childcare services weren’t nearly as fucked up back home. His dream was to save up enough money to open up his own pre-school at some point, but it was really tough.

There was this weird stigma that if adult men wanted to work with babies and toddlers then that made them a pedophile or something of the sort. That wasn’t the case with Harry. His minor in school was psychology because cognitive development intrigued him. He also loved babies and little ones. He loved watching them learn and discover.

Only now, he was without a job in an already struggling field. He and the other employees weren’t exactly given a big notice before they were told the business was going under. Harry mostly felt bad for the parents of the kids that had to find new child care centers. He knew he’d have to compete with his co-workers for any available jobs, and he knew they were bound to find places before him because they were women. It was their fault, and he knew it. He was experiencing a prejudice that they must face all the time.

He looked into Care.com, but none of the jobs on there seemed like long-term gigs, and he didn’t want to just be a glorified baby sitter. He figured if he could find a well paying nannying job, he could do that for a bit until finding a job at a new facility, or even set up his dream pre-school. During his search on Indeed, he saw a position for a live-in nanny – jackpot! Live-in meant long-term, and long-term meant lots of money. It also meant he could get rid of his apartment and not have to pay rent for a while. He clicked on the ad that was posted only a couple of weeks ago.

Live-in Nanny Needed for Help with Eight-Month-Old

Minimum requirements:

·        Bachelor’s in either early childhood education or elementary education

·        At least two years’ experience working babies/children

Three professional references required

Applicant is subject to thorough background check for the safety of the child and mother.

Other tasks as needed include:

·        Cooking

·        Light cleaning

·        Grocery shopping/running other errands

If applicant is selected, they will be paid a flat rate of $1600 bi-weekly, will live in “in-law” section of the house, and a car will be provided for them. A resume, cover letter, and three professional references may be sent directly to jpwatson@gmail.com

After reading everything over, this seemed like Harry’s best bet. Some of it seemed a little too good to be true, but this was a risk he needed to take right now. He just hoped the position hadn’t already been filled. That night he spent some time updating his LinkedIn, making sure all of his privacy settings were up to date on all of his social media, and then wrote out a resume and cover letter. The last part was his least favorite because he knew a proper resume and cover letter had to be curated to the specific job, and it made things all the more tedious. By the time he was done, it was late. He didn’t want to seem unprofessional, so he waited to send the email until the next morning.

Subject: Nannying Advert on Indeed

To: jpwatson@gmail.com

From: hes2194@gmail.com

Good morning,

My name is Harry and I’m interested in the nannying advert you’ve posted on Indeed. For the last four years I’ve been working at P.B. & J.’s Child Care Center, and was recently promoted to team lead. Unfortunately, the business itself couldn’t remain afloat, and I was laid off.

Attached are my resume and cover letter. I’d be happy to provide the three references if I end up being considered for the position.

Thank you for your time and consideration,

Harry

Treat People With Kindness

He closes his laptop with a satisfied sigh after proofreading his email ten different times before he hit send. He takes a sip from his coffee, and sits back on his sofa. Now all he had to do was wait.

//

There was radio silence for two days. Harry was starting to think he would need to keep job hunting. He had bills to pay, and the last thing he wanted to do was ask his parents for help. They already looked down on his profession as it was. If he had his own car he’d become an uber driver or something, but he didn’t so he couldn’t. Then, by some stroke of luck, at 4:55PM on a Thursday, he gets an email from the address he had been hoping to see pop up.

Subject: Re: Nannying Advert on Indeed

To: hes2194@gmail.com

From: jpwatson@gmail.com

Good evening Harry,

My name is Jane Watson, thank you so much for your application. My apologies it has taken me a couple of days to get back to you. I am usually more responsive, but things have been a little crazy at work as of late. Upon further review of your resume and over letter, I would like to offer you an interview this Saturday at noon, if you are available. I can be flexible if that day and time do not work for you.

If you are able to come, and are still interested in the position, I ask that you please bring your references with you. I will want to call them right away. I am sure you can understand me wanting to thoroughly look into you before letting you into my daughter’s life.

I look forward to hearing back from you soon.

All my best,

Jane

Harry responded to her right away, he didn’t care how eager he seemed. He told her Saturday at noon worked great, and that he would definitely have his references, and anything else he needed to provide. She emailed him back an hour or so later with her cell phone number and address. For the first time in a while, Harry felt like he could breathe again. He knew it wasn’t a done deal that he’d be getting the job, but he was being given a chance, and for that he was thankful.

//

He wanted to make a good first impression on Saturday, so he made sure to wash his hair in the shower, and use his good mousse so his hair would look more orderly. He shaved to give himself that clean and sleek look, this was not a day to appear scruffy. He knew he didn’t need to be overly dressed up, but he also knew that you’re supposed to dress for the job you want and not the job you have. He irons a pair of tan slacks and pairs it with a blue button up. Not to brag, but his bum looked great in these slacks, and it was giving him all the confidence in the world. He puts on a floral tie, just to show a bit of his personality, makes sure his nail polish isn’t chipped, and makes sure all of his rings are looking shiny. He takes an uber out to Jane’s house. It was in a gated community, which he was expecting since he looked up the house beforehand. He wondered what she or her husband did for work to live in a place like this. Or perhaps she inherited the home? Either way, he was excited.

He thanks the driver, and knocks on the door as he was instructed to do. A woman with silver hair that was up in a nice bun opens the door.

“Hello, you must be Mr. Styles.” She smiles.

“Yes, hello.” He smiles back.

“I’m MaryAnne, please come in.” She steps aside to let Harry in.

“Thank you.”

“Miss Watson is just pumping, but you can wait for her here in her office.” She leads Harry down a corridor where he meets a grand double door. MaryAnne opens them and shows him inside. “Make yourself comfortable, dear. Can I get you anything? Coffee, water, tea?”

“I’m all set, but thank you very much.”

The woman nods and leaves him in the room alone. He stays standing as he didn’t want to assume where he should be sitting. There was a gorgeous desk with two chairs on the other side, but there was also a small round table with four chairs around it in the corner. She clearly held a lot of meetings here, or so it would seem. To pass the time he looks over her bookshelves, scanning over what she might be into. She seemed to be into fiction, but he had never heard of any of the books on some of the shelves, or the author. She had several by the same person. Before he could look further, he heard the clacking of heels on the hardwood floors approaching him.

Everything stopped when she walked in. Jane had her hair up in a flowing ponytail, a white blouse covered her top half, he notices that the first few buttons were left undone, probably to help with her pumping, and she had a black pencil skirt on that just came to her knees. She was short, and a little voluptuous, not that Harry was checking her out.  

“Hello, Mr. Styles, I’m sorry to keep you waiting.” He goes to stick his hand out for her to shake, but she walks around him and sits down at her desk. “Please, have a seat.”

He swallows and sits down.

“Y-you can just call me Harry if you like, Mrs. Watson.”

“I’m a Miss not a missus.” She says as she takes out a folder with a few sheets in it and a pen. “It says here you graduated Summa Cum Laude from Lesley University. That’s an incredible place to get a degree in education.”

“Thank you, I got a pretty decent scholarship, it was my reach school. I minored in psychology as well. I did my practicum hours at a daycare center that specialized in caring for children with disabilities. So, I’ve worked with all sorts of children. I prefer working with infants and toddlers, though.”

“And why is that?” She looks at him, clicking her pen, ready to take notes.

“Well, I just have more fun with them, to be honest. I like watching them discover new things. My favorite thing to do while working in the baby room at my last job was working with the babies on their tummy times. It was always rewarding to watch them get stronger. I feel like I just bond with them better.”

“I need to ask you some personal questions since this is a live-in position.”

“Of course.” Harry nods.

“Are you in any sort of relationship with anyone?”

“No, I’m single.”

“Have you ever been arrested, or do you have any sort of criminal history?”

“No.”

“I’m not one to judge, I think everyone deserves a second chance, I just have to ask these sort of things.” She says.

“I don’t have a criminal record, Miss Watson.”

“History of drug use?”

“I smoked a bit of weed when I was younger, but I don’t anymore. An edible once in a while, maybe, but never when I’m on the clock.”

“Just marijuana?”

“I’ve done shrooms a few times, but nothing other than that. Stupid kid stuff.”

“Again, not judging. I’d prefer you don’t have any drugs in the house, unless they’re for medical use. I know edibles can be prescribed by doctors for anxiety and whatnot.” Harry nods at that. “What about alcohol? You’re twenty-six, you must enjoy a drink after a long day.”

“A glass of red once in a while, sure.” He nods. “But I’m not really a heavy drinker, I never have been. I’d say if anything I’m a social drinker, but you watch me carefully at a party you’ll notice that I nurse the same drink.” He smirks.

“I’m the same way. A little bit of a buzz is fun, but anything more can be a bit scary. I actually cannot remember the last time I had a real drink.” She looks off in thought.

“Well, can’t you drink now that the baby’s here?”

“And have to succumb to a pump and dump?” She scoffs. “No way, that would be a total waste. It’s torture enough to sit there while a machine sucks the milk out of my-“ She stops herself. “Sorry.” She shakes her head. “Anyways, your resume was impressive, and you were quite articulate in your cover letter. You’re the only candidate I’ve invited for an interview.”

“Really?”

“Yes.” She nods. “I really wanted someone with experience, not someone fresh out of college looking for a place to live. You’d really be okay with living here?”

“Honestly, you’d be doing me a favor. My long-term goal is to either have a daycare or pre-school of my own someday. Not having to pay rent for a while would really help me save up for that.”

“That’s an incredible goal to have, Harry.” She smiles, impressed by his ambition. “What questions do you have for me?”

“I just want to clarify, your daughter is eight months?” Jane nods. “And what’s her name?”

“Lilly.” Jane smiles.

“That’s a beautiful name.” Harry smiles. “Why exactly do you need a live-in nanny?”

“I work a lot.” She sighs. “And I’m a single mom. I want her to always have someone here that she can depend on and feel comfortable with. Sometimes my work drags me out in the middle of the night, or I have to take a phone call at an odd hour. I just want someone else here in case I can’t be if something comes up.”

“So, her father’s not in the picture?”

“No.” Her features sour a bit. “He doesn’t even know she exists to be perfectly honest with you. I found out I was pregnant after we broke up, and I decided not to tell him about her. He was a deadbeat moocher, he would have been useless.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, but thank you for telling me. May I ask, how old are you?”

“Twenty-nine, does that matter?”

“No! No, I was just more so curious. You seem pretty successful to be in a home like this. In the advert, you stated I’d be given a car as well, that’s not exactly cheap.”

“You’ll be given access to one of my cars.” She says. “I’m not giving you a car, make no mistake about that.” She smirks. “I’m an author, a successful one.” Harry tries to think if he’s ever heard of a Jane Watson before, but he’s coming up blank. “You’ve never heard of me because I have a pen name. If it’s all the same, I don’t really want to share it with you. Not yet, anyways.”

“Sure…wait…are you offering me the job?”

“Not quite. I’d like you to meet my daughter. I want to see how she interacts with you.”

“I’d love to meet Lilly.” He smiles.

“Great, before we do that, do you have more questions?”

“Yes, who’s MaryAnne? Is she, like, a maid or housekeeper?”

“No.” Jane laughs. “She’s my personal assistant. I usually answer the door myself, but pumping took a bit longer than usual.”

“When did you publish your first work?”

“When I was twenty.” She smiles. “I was still in school, and I decided just to self-publish. It took off, and a few companies reached out to me. I eventually got an agent, and the rest was history. I’m a fast writer, I’m able to churn out more projects than most people, and for whatever reason they keep becoming hits. One of the reasons I travel a lot is that a couple of my works are being turned into television shows, and working out those contracts is a lot. I want to be a part of the process to make sure the stories are told correctly.”

“That’s incredible!”

“it is.” She nods. “I never thought I’d be a television producer, but here I am. I don’t really want Lilly around all that, so there’s another reason for having a live-in nanny.”

“This may seem like a silly question, but will I have time off?”

“Oh my goodness, of course! The salary is negotiable as well. You’ll have weekends off, as well as all bank and national holidays. You’ll also earn vacation time and sick leave like at any other job. You’ll be given a benefits package as well, if you need health insurance.”

“You…you provide stuff like that?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I?”

“I’ve just never heard of a nannying job quite like this before.” He blinks. “It feels too good to be true.”

“I’m just a firm believer in compensating someone properly. I believe in investing in the people you have.”

“Right.” He swallows. He almost starting to feel like he was going to be her sugar baby or something, but he obviously knew that wasn’t the case. “You asked me about my dating life, what about yours?”

“I’m also single. Lilly is my top priority, and then comes my work. I’m completely fulfilled as is.” She stands from her desk. “Come, I’ll give you a tour of the house, and of the in-law space, and then you can meet Lilly.”

“Okay.” He stands up and follows her out of the office.

She shows him the living room, which felt more like a study. There was an entertainment room with a huge flat screen, deluxe loungers, a pool table, and bar. She shows him to the kitchen which was equally as extravagant. She brings him upstairs to show him all of the bedrooms.

“This is Lilly’s room.” Jane says proudly.

“it’s beautiful, I love the light purple.”

“So do I.” She says. “My room is down the hall, don’t think you need a tour of that.” She laughs and they head back downstairs. “Here’s the inside entrance to the in-law, but there’s also an exterior entrance you can use…or if you have guests over.” Harry’s in awe of the space. It was larger than his apartment. “It’s a one bedroom flat essentially. There’s a full bath en suite, and there’s a half bath over there. Open concept kitchen and living area. It’s fully furnished as well. Feel free to decorate it however you like. I just ask that this space stays yours. There’s really no reason for you to bring Lilly in here, you know?”

“Sure, yeah. This is amazing.”

“I’m glad you like it. Let’s just hope Lilly like you.” Jane smirks, and they head back to the main part of the house, and into Lilly’s playroom. She was sitting with MaryAnne in a large rocking chair. “M, you can feel free to go back to your office if you like. Harry’s going to get acquainted with Lilly.”

“Of course.” MaryAnne stands up with the baby, and hands her over to Jane.

“She has an office here too?” Harry asks.

“Of course she does, and one of the guest rooms upstairs is hers to use when she needs it.” She kisses the top of her daughter’s head. “Lilly,” she coos, “I have someone I’d like you to meet.” She gestures for Harry to take her, and he happily does so.

“Hey, baby girl.” Harry coos. Bright hazel eyes look up at him in wonder. He lets her latch onto his index finger. “It’s so nice to meet you.” He looks at Jane. “She’s precious, Miss Watson.”

“Isn’t she?” Jane beams. “She’s really been enjoying her bouncy, and messing around with her blocks. I have some CD’s I like having her listen to as well. Oh! We did a paint with pudding night as a sensory play thing, it was a hoot.” She chuckles.

“Those are great, aren’t they? Very stimulating, and it teaches the child that sometimes messes are okay.” He looks down at Lilly and smiles. “May I sit with her in the rocking chair?”

“Please!” She gestures to it, and she sits down on the loveseat in the room. Harry sits down with Lilly, cradling her carefully. He adjusts her so she’s able to stand on his lap. She bounces herself and giggles. “Look at that!” Jane exclaims. “I love it when she does that.”

“She’s awfully sweet.” Harry smiles, and then he looks at Jane. “How much do you feed her?”

“I give her roughly twenty-four to thirty-two ounces a day. You’ll know how hungry she is or isn’t in the moment. I’ve started giving her pureed butternut squash, mashed bananas and strawberries, she’s got that puffed baby cereal as well. I’ve also started giving her ground chicken in really small doses just to get her some protein, but right now I’ve mostly been sticking to fruits and veggies. You must know a lot about what foods to give a baby?”

“I do.” He nods. “You’re still producing that much milk to give her daily?”

“I’ve almost been wishing I’d dry up. I get so sore somedays.” Jane sighs. “But I figure it’s good for her to have it while I can still make it. I’m not opposed to formular or anything…but I like bonding with her in that way. I got rid of her baby acne by rubbing my nipple on her skin, it was like magic.”

“It’s certainly a trick of the trade.” He smirks at her. “I remember learning that in one of my courses, and I was amazed. You all are super humans.”

Jane watches Harry play on the ground with Lilly for a bit. Harry was already so wonderful with her. Harry starts to smell something, and so does Jane.

“Think it’s time for a diaper change.” He chuckles and picks her up. “Would you like me to change her?”

“Yeah, I’d like to see you do it.”

He brings Lilly over to the changing table, and lays her down.

“I know you’re all warm and cozy, but I need to disrupt that for a moment.” He says to the baby girl who was babbling and blowing little spit bubbles, totally unbothered. Harry unsnaps her onesie, and lifts her legs to detach the diaper. His eyes widen at the type of diaper that’s on her. “You cloth diaper?” He looks at Jane.

“It’s better for the environment.” She shrugs. “There’s a trashcan for the…um, poop, and there’s another can for the diapers. I give her a regular diaper for bedtime just because it’s easier to change her in the middle of the night and in the morning, but daytime I use the cloth diapers.”

“Makes sense to me.” Harry disposes of everything, and grabs a few wipes to clean Lilly up. She took a powerful stinky.

“I blame it on the pureed peas.” Jane laughs.

“It doesn’t even phase me anymore, honestly.” Harry says as he gets a little baby powder on her. He grabs a spare cloth diaper, and gets it on her. He snaps her onesie back together and lifts her up. “There we go, good as new, darling girl.” Lilly blows some bubbles at Harry, and blows some back, making her giggle. Jane beams at the two of them.

“It’s about time for her afternoon nap. Would you like to put her down?”

“I’d love to.”

Harry carries Lilly upstairs with Jane. She flips on Lilly’s white noise machine, and makes sure her favorite blankies are in the crib. Harry sits down in the large chair in the corner of the room and starts to rock her gently, giving her soothing rubs. Jane watches as Lilly’s eyelids start to droop. She fights it at first, but Harry continues to soothe her until she’s out like a light. He carefully stands up and sets her down into her crib. The two back out of the room quietly, and make their way down the stairs.

“Let’s go back to my office.” Jane says, and Harry follows her there. Once they’re both seated, she starts speaking again. “Well, the job is yours if you want it.”

“Really?” Harry felt every worry from his life leave his body.

“Yes.” She chuckles. “You’ve really impressed me, and I think Lilly’s quite taken with you already. I’d love to have you as her nanny.” She takes out a few forms. “May I have your references? The background check will take about a week. How soon could you start after that?”

“Right away, honestly.” He hands her a sheet with his references.

“Here are the tax forms you’ll need to fill out, a form for direct deposit, and some information on your benefits. You can get everything back to me by the end of next week.”

“I can’t thank you enough for this opportunity, I’m so excited. I can’t wait to get started, Miss Watson.” He stands to shake her hand, and she stands as she takes it.

“Please, you can call me Jane.”

[parkers-gal]

can you do a best!friends to lovers with a really affectionate reader and flustered peter?

requests are open (a lil slow tho)

wc: 1.3k

—

If Peter had a penny for every time you wanted to touch him in some remote way, he’d probably be rich. If he had a penny for every time he wanted you to touch him, well then he’d be the wealthiest man alive.

Maybe you were obvious, or maybe touch was your love language. Peter wasn’t sure why he was speaking it, though. You weren’t dating — hell, you weren’t even together. Of course, Peter had those feelings for you. Of course he longed to have you in his embrace for as long as he could bear — which, granted, was a lot. He tries not to think about it, because if he does, he knows you won’t ever leave his mind.

Not that you normally do, but still.

For the first year of college, May insisted Peter take the dormitory grant that came with his scholarship. Tony knew the expenses were difficult for May, so he offered to help out. It took awhile for her to agree, but it happened nonetheless.

It’s where the two of you normally hang out. Occasionally, the two of you are found at a picnic table near your favorite tree or the library, but most days you’re slouching in his bed with a book in front of you. He always takes the desk; he’s polite that way.

“Hey, Pete.” You’re entering his dorm without even knocking, surprising Harry who’s slipping a shirt on in the corner.

“Jesus!” Harry’s caught off guard and Peter chuckles. You laugh, kissing Peter’s cheek before situating your belongings on the bed, backpack slipping off your shoulders smoothly. Harry eyes Peter knowingly, who’s a blushing mess. He rolls his eyes at the wall crawler before bidding goodbye while closing the door on his way out.

“Can you help me with Rodrigo’s work?” The two of you have the same lecture at different times, so studying is a lot more convenient. Peter looks up from his notebook before his face melts into a soft smile, nodding with a gentle “okay.”

You’re scooting over on the small mattress. Peter carefully slides in next to you, eyes finding the examples you’re working on. You lean into his side so you don’t fall off the bed, arm going under his so your arms are linked. He tries not to blush too much, but he knows he’s failed when he feels his face heat up exponentially.

He starts discussing the first page with you, and you’re nodding along before you lean your head on his shoulder. He tries to focus — god, he tries so damn hard to focus — but you’re so close, leaning into him like he’s the only thing supporting you, the only thing keeping you up. He’s trying, but you’re right there next to him, right in his reach, right there at his touch. You’re so close he can smell your perfume, so close he can hear your heartbeat in his ears without even focusing on it.

“Y’alright?” You bring him out of his daze after you notice his words have slowed until he’s frozen, staring at you.

“Uhm- uh… y-yeah. I’m- I’m fine.” He rubs his forehead, wiping the palms of his hands on his denim-clad thigh.

You stifle a laugh. “Are you sure?” You grin slyly, noticing his rising state of flux.

“Mhm.” He merely hums in response, not trusting his words.

The sunlight that comes in through the window, hits your face cooly, and he sucks in a breath. You look like a goddess — like something from those aesthetic pinterest boards you always show him. You’re calm yet encapsulating, and he’s suffocating on you. He’s okay with that, though. It feels too good to slow it down or stop it altogether.

Peter finishes his train of thought before joining you in completing the assignments from your lecture. You’re cracking jokes along the way, laughing so hard you can’t contain yourself. Peter doesn’t bother staying on track either. You’re so close he’s practically drunk on you.

After ten minutes of goofing off, you slide down, laying your head in Peter’s lap while you inquire about nothing in relation to your lecture’s work.

“Pete,” You speak childishly, and he chuckles at your demeanor. “How long do your webs last?”

“Usually four hours. Why?”

“No reason.” You reach for his hands, playing with his lanky fingers, separating them and smoothing over the grooves and rough edges as you relax atop him. He feels his face burning up again, but concludes you’re just absentmindedly playing with his hands.

“Do you have to make it yourself all the time or does Mr. Stark do it now?”

“Both.” You grab his other hand, now, repeating what you’ve done with his right hand. “Mr. Stark makes it for my suit but I’m coming up with updates.”

You hum, intertwining your fingers with his before letting your hands rest on your chest. He hopes you won’t look up and notice how red he’s gotten. Your hands fit into his so well.

Stop that Peter. He’s trying to humble himself, calm himself down and convince himself that you’re just an affectionate person.

Then again, he’s never seen you greet anyone else with a kiss on the cheek, so he could be wrong. He doesn’t think of it too much, because after five minutes, you sit up, unlinking your hands. Peter tries not to seem too disappointed, but it’s obvious in the way he deflates.

“Cuddle?” You ask softly, almost as if the silence has tired you out. It’s barely eight-thirty, but Peter smiles in agreement anyways.

You return his smile softly, moving your supplies off the bed and laying down, hugging him tightly while you inhale his scent, breathing deeply in relief.

“How are you always so warm?”

He chuckles. “Maybe you’re always cold.” “Then you need to fix that.” You’re mumbling into his skin. “You’re the one with the warmth.” He hums and the vibrations make you giggle.

Inside, Peter’s heart is clambering against his ribcage. He prays you can’t hear it, but he’s positive you wouldn’t need a spider sense to pick up on how nervous he is.

“You- uh… are you tired?”

“Mhm.” You confirm it, eyes closing lazily.

“You could sleep over, y’know. I know you don’t have a lecture until eleven, so…” He trails off and you laugh at him.

“I can really sleep over? You don’t mind?”

His tongue clicks. “Of course I don’t mind. You know that.”

“I know.” You smile cheekily. “Nice to hear it every once ‘n awhile, though.”

He laughs and it shakes you up, his chest bouncing underneath you. You hold him tighter, arms wrapping around him. His laugh quiets as that shuts him up. “Y-yeah I… I get it.”

You laugh again at the stumble over his words. “You’re silly.”

“Sure.”

With an eye roll, you exhale against him, arms instinctively taking home against his abdomen. With the flutter of your eyes, you fall asleep.

When you awake, Peter’s sitting at his desk doing work. It’s only just past nine o’clock, yet you realize how much you’ve slept. You rub the sleep from your eyes, a yawn slipping past your lips, alarming Peter that you’re awake.

“G’morning, sleepyhead. Sleep well?”

You grin. “Always, with you.”

He smiles and you stand up, wrinkles on your shirt flattened by your hands. “I should go so I can get ready for class.” Peter hums in acknowledgement. “I’ll be back in twenty.” You kiss his cheek before leaving him in the room.

When you’re gone, Peter exhales, his nerves settling.

“When’re you gonna ask her out?” Harry breaks the silence, emerging from under the covers. Peter jumps, surprised and startled at the sound of a new voice.

“Don’t do that, Harry.” Peter grumbles, resuming his work.

“Do what?” He smirks. Peter rolls his eyes in response. “I’m just saying, man.” He slips on some sweatpants, abandoning the covers.

“Yeah, I know.” Peter sighs, pondering his words. “Soon.”

[sotiredblah]

Crash Landing On You - Alternate Ending - Part 7

In which Gu Seung Jun takes care of a few things before he’s reunited with Dan with a little help from Ri Jeong Hyeok.

Gu Seung Jun had read in some romantic novel that distance made the heart grow fonder. At the time, he thought that it was just a sappy line that women fell for, so he had tucked it away into his box of tricks, occasionally taking it out when he was attempting to seduce women.

He never thought that there would be any truth to it.

And yet, here he was, over a three thousand miles away from the woman that he loved, and he thought of her every day.

He would be texting her constantly, updating her about how his day went, what he ate, something he saw that reminded him of her. He liked sending Dan lengthy messages and often sent her gifts through China on her birthday.

Dan, in return, replied to each of his messages with a short “Too long,” or “Okay.”

She wasn’t much for public displays of affection, Seung Jun understood, but that was fine with him. He loved how curt she was anyhow.

He doesn’t let her know where he is though. He kept that private, no matter how much it hurt him. He was trying to right the wrongs that he did as a conman.

Well, some of them. In his mind, some of the acts that he committed were perfectly validated. Especially when it was a case of taking from those more fortunate than him.

Gu Seung Jun considered himself a modern-day Robin Hood.

It had taken three long years away from Dan, but he had finally finished what he had set out to do.

He had recently returned to England to apply as an ambassador with the consular services. As his last act, he had been able to create a clean version of his personal file, with the help of some underworld contacts, one that didn’t list any of the swindling or illegal activities that he had been a part of.

He might have also fudged a few things on his resume, but Seung Jun figured that he had more experience than the average applicant.

Gu Seung Jun looked at the passport and ID in his hand that identified him as an UK Diplomat. The UK government had been slightly surprised when they had learned of his requested embassy, but they had nonetheless granted his request.

He would be starting his term in a few months. Until then, he would be staying in London to learn the ropes of diplomatic service. He was visiting the North Korean embassy in London today to introduce himself to their ambassador.

“Gu Seung Jun?” a man dressed in a black suit approached him from far away, the familiar red pin gleaming as he drew closer to Gu Seung Jun. There was familiarity in his voice, Seung Jun thought.

It wasn’t until he was standing two feet away from him that Seung Jun realized that it was Ri Jeong Hyeok.

“I’m right, aren’t I?” Ri Jeong Hyeok said as he looked Seung Jun over. “You’re Gu Seung Jun.”

Seung Jun smiled faintly. Life was just full of surprises, wasn’t it?

--

“Why are you here?”

Ri Jeong Hyeok drank from his cup of coffee while Seung Jun watched him in anticipation before he answered the question.

“I’m the pianist with the National Symphony Orchestra,” he told the other man.

The name rang a few bells in Seung Jun’s head. “Isn’t that?”

Ri Jeong Hyeok nodded. “Yes, the same one that Dan plays in.”

Seung Jun shifted uncomfortably in front of Ri Jeong Hyeok. He didn’t know how much he knew, nor did he know what Dan had told him about him. He didn’t even know what their current status was between the two men.

The last time they had seen each other, Ri Jeong Hyeok was asking for information about how to sneak into South Korea. Seung Jun had helpfully provided all of the answers that he had been looking for, although if he had to admit it, there were some personal selfish reasons that he did so.

Ri Jeong Hyeok’s voice broke into his thoughts. “She’s doing fine by the way.”

“Se-ri?”

Ri Jeong Hyeok shook his head. “Dan,” he answered simply, instantly telling Seung Jun just how much he knew.

“After her Europe trip, she visited me in the village. She told me that she saw Se-ri and that you would be away from our country for a while,” his mouth twitched. “I don’t think either of us expected that you would be away for so long though.”

“I had a few loose ends to take care,” Seung Jun mumbled, feeling like a chastised schoolboy.

“Of course,” Ri Jeong Hyeok took another sip of his coffee.

“Has she been drinking a lot lately?” Seung Jun couldn’t help himself.

“Not that I’ve seen,” the other man replied. “We don’t really see each other often.”

“And are there any men…” Seung Jun swallowed hard, unable to finish the sentence.

“I believe that the ring that she wears on her hand takes care of all the would-be suitors,” Ri Jeong Hyeok answered in his slow way.

Gu Seung Jun blinked twice, before he felt the tension that he felt fade away.

“So why are you here then?” Seung Jun realized that Ri Jeong Hyeok had never answered his question. “A pianist doesn’t have to be at the embassy and there are no concerts scheduled in London or England right now.”

“My father asked me for a favour,” Ri Jeong Hyeok replied. “He said that he wanted someone that he trusted to interview the new British Diplomat. As it just happened, I was in London to help out with the selection of the Queen’s Group scholarship.”

Seung Jun nodded thoughtfully.

“Does Dan know that you will be coming back?” Ri Jeong Hyeok asked him.

Seung Jun shook his head. “I wanted to surprise her.”

“In that case, shall we work together?” Ri Jeong Hyeok asked him, a slightly mischievous look slowly spreading on his face.

“Why…?”

Ri Jeong Hyeok shrugged. “I never got to thank you for your help. Without you, things could be very different right now,” he extended his hand across the table. “What do you say?”

--

Ri Jeong Hyeok tapped Se-ri on the shoulder. “I need to step out for a quick second,” he whispered gently into her eye.

“Don’t take too long,” she told him, mesmerized by the performance in front of her.

Ri Jeong Hyeok nodded before he buttoned up his suit jacket and walked out of the dining hall, but not before checking that Dan had an empty seat behind her.

If anything Ri Jeong Hyeok had expected slight pushback from Se-ri when he told her what he wanted to do, but to his surprise, she was more than willing to help out.

It turned out that Se-ri had been figuring out how to pay back Dan as well.

Seung Jun was already waiting for him in the hotel lobby when his elevator arrived, so without further ado, Ri Jeong Hyeok told the other man where Dan would be waiting for him.

Together, they both snuck quietly back into the dining hall.

And when Ri Jeong Hyeok noticed that Dan was resting comfortably against Gu Seung Jun, he tugged Se-ri’s hand and motioned at the other couple in the room.

Se-ri smiled gently. “I’m so happy they got their happy ending too.”

--

So I figured that I wanted to explain how Gu Seung Jun was able to reunite with Seo Dan.

This wasn’t part of the original oneshot, but I’m kinda happy I got the chance to add this in. This chapter takes place in between part 6.

[whenimaunicorn]

The Apartment

In which Ivar and Ubbe come up with an interesting arrangement in exchange for free rent.

College AU, Ivar/Reader/Ubbe, Dominance/submission, smut incoming

Sneak Peek:

“You guys are such fucking pigs,” the tall girl from your English Lit class says as she steps over a crumpled towel on the floor of the grimy apartment hallway. “I can’t believe I actually used that toilet.”

Ubbe puts a fresh beer bottle into her hand. “It’s not that bad.”

“It is!”

Everyone looks around the apartment shared by Ubbe and Ivar Lothbrok, your hosts for this evening’s little get-together. Books, games, and random papers litter the living room, dirty dishes are overflowing out of the kitchen sink, and the wood floor is covered with wandering dust bunnies. Sitting on said floor because there was no more room on the couch, you’re glad that you are wearing dark jeans, so that any dirt your butt might pick up down here won’t show.

English Lit girl isn’t finished. Someone told you her name at the beginning of the party, but you’ve forgotten it. “Have you guys even mopped this floor once since you moved in?”

Ivar waves his hand dismissively above your head. He’s seated at the end of the couch you’re leaning against. “You only do that if you want your security deposit back.” 

You wish he could see that you smiled at his little joke. You chose to sit in that particular place because you like to be close to him, you and your desperate little crush, the one you would never let an intimidating guy like Ivar Lothbrok know about directly. It gives you a simple kind of pleasure to sit at his feet and nurse your private fantasies about him, as he carries on being cooler than you just above your head.

The image on the TV shifts to a close-up of Thanos’ gauntlet. “Infinity Stones, drink!” you shout. Everyone in the room dutifully tips their beer or cocktail to their lips and takes a good, long, pull.

As messy as the Lothbroks’ apartment is, they always end up hosting these parties. Maybe because of this nice, giant flatscreen their rich parents set them up with. Your little social group loves to turn movies into drinking games on Friday nights, and this always seems like the best place to do it.“

Seriously, though,” English Lit girl continues, “you guys need a maid.”

“Mother said no,” Ivar says. Softly, like he hopes not everyone will hear the bratty comment.

Ubbe covers him with a louder reply of his own. “Budget’s too tight. We spend all our extra cash on beers for you people.” He taps the girl’s bottle with his own and grins.

Oh, that grin. Sparkling and intimate, flirting with anything that moves. If Ubbe Lothbrok wasn’t a senior, you’d admit to the way he made your whole body tingle, too. 

“Thanos! Chug!” another one of your friends calls. Everyone’s cups and bottles go end up.

“Sigurd kept it clean when he lived here.” English Lit remarks.

Ivar scowls down the neck of his bottle. “Yeah, it was a real tragedy when he transferred to that music school.”

“You guys ever think about getting another roommate?” Ubbe shrugs. “Mom and Dad pay the rent, we don’t really need to.”

Must be nice, you think to yourself. You worried about making enough to cover rent just about every month. Over your shoulder, you notice Ivar shaking his bottle like it’s empty. You make a small noise to get his attention. “I’m going to the kitchen, want me to get you another one?” Even making such a simple, normal offer has your heart pounding as you look up from the floor at him.

His brilliant eyes focus on your face, and it’s an effort not to flush just from that. He’s holding the bottle at the neck, pinched between the tips of his perfect, blunt fingers, and he wordlessly tilts the bottom toward you and nods.

You accept his empty, clutching your own in your other fist, and rise to your feet as gracefully as you can. If you were another girl you might have said something sassy, but it feels like the fulfillment of some kind of strange fantasy just to serve him quietly like this.

You don’t see the way Ivar’s eyes follow your ass as you cross the room.

“You need a new Sigurd,” English Lit girl says, not giving this up.

“We do not need a new Sigurd,” Ivar says acidly. “We just need someone living here who likes things to be clean.”

She makes a scoffing sound, looking around the place one more time. “You are never going to attract a roommate like that, with the place in this condition. They’ll take one look at this pigsty and run.”

“Not if they can stay here for free,” Ivar grins back. “What did they call them in Viking History, Ubbe, thralls?”

Ubbe grunts a confirmation sound, mid-swallow.

“That’s what we need. Someone that lives here, and does all the chores for us.” You’ve made it to the attached kitchen, catching a glimpse of Ivar folding his hands behind his head as he lays out his ridiculous plan. You duck behind the refrigerator door but keep listening. “Someone… pretty. We’ll pay for everything, she’ll cook and keep house, and at night…”

You really wish you could see his face as he trails off to the sound of outraged noises from English Lit girl. “You realize a thrall is a slave, right?”

“I like this idea,” Ubbe’s deeper voice rumbles over her. “Not the slave part—” you snatch two fresh beers from the fridge and come back to the cutout between the rooms as quick as you can, before you miss anything else “—but housekeeping in exchange for free rent? I could get behind that. She can stay in Sigurd’s room.”

“If she wants to sleep there,” Ivar grins to his brother. “I was thinking we’d want someone willing to be a good cock-warmer, too.”

Heat rushes through your body even as everyone groans at the way his comment has gone too far. English Lit girl throws a pillow in Ivar’s direction. “Pig!”

“Drink!” Ubbe roars right behind her, as the Infinity Stones flash on the TV screen again.

Ivar looks to you, his hands empty. You rush to him as quick as you can with the cold drinks.

Alas, you’ve forgotten the bottle opener, and these are not twist-offs. Ivar makes a chiding sound between his teeth, but before you can get up off your knees again he whips a knife from his pocket and flips the blade open with a little snick sound. He uses the back side to pop his lid off with a deft little motion you’re certain you would never be able to repeat.

“Jokes aside,” Ubbe resumes, “it’s not a bad idea.” Ivar takes a gulp of his beer with the hand still holding his knife in the other fingers, while reaching his empty hand out for your own sealed bottle.

“It’s demeaning!” English Lit girl insists.

Ivar’s fingers brush over yours in the handoff. “Only if you want to look at it that way.” He winks at you, so fast you wonder if you imagined it.

The world stutters.

“I’d do it.”

You say it without thinking. In fact, you only meant to think it. Ivar’s hand jumps, and he doesn’t get this bottle cap off as easily as the last one.

English Lit girl swivels toward you, blinking. “What?”

You giggle self-consciously as Ubbe’s ice-blue eyes fall on you, too. He looks interested. “I said, I’ll do it.” You refuse to be shamed by this judgy bitch. Though your eyes fall to the floor, and you don’t have the courage to lift them as you keep talking. “I only work at that restaurant to make enough money to pay rent, and I fucking hate that job. And my shitty apartment. Which I’m month-to-month on.” You’re working it through as you speak. “My scholarship pays for everything else important. If I could quit that job and just hang out with you guys all day—” you grab the opened bottle that Ivar hands you and take a swig “—that sounds totally worth cleaning your shit and cooking your food.” 

You leave Ivar’s last idea un-commented upon.

                                                 * * *

Part 2 Here

What do you guys think, is this interesting enough to continue? With smut right away in the next update, or as a slower burn? Prompt credit goes to @walkxthexmoon who wanted Ivar and Ubbe in a roommate situation with the reader and “what she has to deal with daily.”

I don’t think I’ve ever had a taglist for these boys but here’s some folks that maybe wanted to see a fic like this: @ceridwenofwales @grungyblonde @equalstrashflavoredtrash @pokeasleepingsmaug @tiyetiye @ivarinleatherpants @that-was-not-supposed-to-happen @savismith @laketaj24 @oddsnendsfanfics @perfectus-in-morte @wastelandsheep

[problematicwelshman]

The hottest of hot takes under the cut posted by request as a compilation of asks. All previous and current disclaimers apply. You’ve been warned. :)

Put this under scalding hot tea and under a jump, or redact, if you post any at all. You and others have hinted at this a few times & I suspect you're right. You got kind of scorched for this before - But now I think, with everything that's gone down and all the time ppl have had to see things for themselves, see things play out, etc. that ppl will be able to hear it. Here's the speculation hot-take: MS and AL did NOT meet at that bday party- they met earlier.

The party can always serve as a good cover for them though, since AL's BFF was Welsh and all and invited him. That way, in a pinch they can always tell ppl they met at the party- even if it looks terrible that AL got pregnant not even 2 months later. But MS is probably desperate for ppl never to know how he Really met her. I suspect he'd already been trolling AADA, among similar places who'd be happy to have an established actor 'drop by to pay an inspirational visit to the students!'

It's ideal for hooking-up with very young women - especially if they're down for a kind of 'exchange'. He would get what he wants in terms of fun/playtime and they would get would they need. This could also tie together the loose ends of 'just how in the hell was AL able to afford living in expensive cities like NYC and London anyway?' Maybe it was informal, maybe it was an actual sugar daddy-sugar baby site/service connection. Could be a million ways.

But it would be a solid means for MS to satisfy his 'proclivities', as you artfully put it. NYC is rampant with this kind of arrangement -there have been articles in major media about the sugar daddy-baby epidemic. As he's an older man who would have been way past the club scene to meet young women, I wouldn't put it past MS to go this route. Also, CDAN is not the only blind site out there. There are literally more other sites than I can count that have reported on him for years.

Like 5 or more years, about cheating and outside-of-relationship-use of 'professional services' to address his purported high level of 'physical needs' and BDSM-based interests. So, what happened? Well I think that AL realized MS was more than a paycheck - He was a mark. She would have had just as much opportunity as any of us to see what a softie he is, that he's just the type to go whole-hog and do the relationship with a girl he got pregnant and felt sorry for.

No hand 'em a check and say good-bye like so many other celebs. No, MS would 'do the right thing'. So, she sprang the trap. And here we are - MS, AL, baby and all the fall-out that goes with it. Seriously, have you heard of literally Any Person Ever - celebrity or not - who met someone and had a CHILD with them, and you don't know anything about how they met?

When ppl claim to be in a serious rship and procreate another human being together, you better believe they say something about how that important connection came about. We know how he met Kate (doing a play), how he met Rachel (filming a movie), how he met Sarah (at one of her Largo shows), because he spoke about all this. But MS and AL? Crickets. He's never spoken about how he met a woman he had a child with? And it's because of the obvious.

I suspect MS feels deep shame about how he & AL really got together. Shame is why he hid dating her. Shame is why he hid her pregnancy as long as he could. Shame is why we know nothing of how they met. And his shame is what keeps them together now. When he finally decides that he's over all that shame and he can move beyond it, well the whole charade will finally be over. Whew! Hot-take done.

This is honestly how I’ve felt about this entire situation. I haven’t said anything because I know how it will be taken just because of the first time I made a mention of it. I immediately dropped the subject for obvious reasons but am feeling quite validated to see someone else share this same sentiment about AL so I’ll go ahead and share my thoughts, as extreme as they may sound. I will preface this by saying take it with a grain of salt please.

The fact that there is no information about AL that exists beyond very public-facing social media like her Facebook & Instagram as a self proclaimed actress makes me believe she was some kind of call girl or something else in a similar line of work OR her info was purposefully scrubbed off the internet. To compare, her brother was an athlete who I assume got a college scholarship and went to UB and now lives in the states and works for Nestle. There’s an established progression to follow that checks out and it’s all on the internet and can easily be found out through regular means. Anna? Not so much. I’ve looked. I was able to find bits here and there like a blog she wrote for the cabaret listed on her acting resume years ago back in like 2011 that had loads of old pictures and linked to a facebook page which had more. Beyond that? I haven’t found anything. I’m not even sure if Lundberg is her real last name. Her brothers have different last names. The fact that these DM articles are popping up frequently also do play in to this. If they ARE paid, they’re establishing her name as Anna Lundberg with her profession as actress and associating her to Michael for google indexing and SEO reasons. It’s a purpose disconnect from something TO something else. It’s so searches for her lead to the Daily Mail rather than somewhere else. Obviously Michael doesn’t want people to know who she is or how they met, so he’s helping her cover up anything that might make them BOTH look bad. And I agree with everything else you said completely. As for the “actor mentor” or speaker thing, he’s done that. He’s listed as faculty even at RWCMD, so it’s a realistic idea that he’d do it at other schools such as AADA while abroad. 

I’ve heard about these “inner circle” type parties from the BC fandom where there’s matchmaking and all kinds of very hush-hush type activity. The more I think about it the more I feel like this is actually the theory that might be true. But as my shiny new disclaimers now say all over this blog, it’s all speculation, not factual, and is just commentary for entertainment purposes only. 

Gotta CYA, kids. ;) 

Update #1 (3-5-20): New information has been uncovered and shared with me that does allege that Lundberg is her real last name. 

[livinglikebritishroyalty]

𝐿𝒾𝒻𝑒 𝒰𝓅𝒹𝒶𝓉𝑒

Hey Y’all! I know it’s been a while but life went from slow with nothing happening to absolutely crazy! So here’s an update on life & posting!

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𝑀𝓎 𝒫𝑒𝓇𝓈𝑜𝓃𝒶𝓁 𝐿𝒾𝒻𝑒

Y’all big things are coming for my family & I! 

1. I got a job! My mom got a phone call the other day from a friend of hers who works at the middle school I attended when I was a teenager. The women runs the school’s after school program & asked for me to come help her, as they are looking for more teens to help with the program. I put in my job application on Tuesday, October 29th, 2019 & I find out Wednesday, October 30th, 2019 when my phone interview & my in person interview is! It pays $9 an hour & I would be working Monday through Friday with weekends & holidays off.

2. I created my resume with the help of a magazine that I help with! As y’all know, I am a content & public relations team member for an online magazine called Her Campus. Well, we had a meeting on Tuesday, October 29th, 2019, where us girls could create resumes & cover letters that we would eventually need in the future. It was such a great opportunity to learn how to be an adult & prepare for my future.

3. My brother got into his dream college on Tuesday! My family & I are so excited for his future, as my brother is one of the intelligent, talented, athletic, dedicated, & hard working student I know. My brother is not staying in a dorm though (I don’t either right now for my college) so we will both be living at home, as our 2 colleges are a few minutes from our house. He got in on full scholarship & he’s so incredibly happy!

4. I will be going on a trip to my hometown in November! I haven’t been back since my huge fight with my dad’s family (we no longer speak to his family), so we will be staying in a hotel but we are there just to do things around my hometown but I’m so excited! I missed home a lot & it will be good to go back before I go back to school in January.

5. I go back to college in January! From June until December, I took a gap semester off college after 3 grueling & intense semesters back to back. My first semester of college Fall 2018 I took 4 classes (Failed 1), my second semester in Spring 2019 I took 4 classes (Failed 2), & my third semester during Summer 2019 I took a retake class of the math class I failed in the Fall of 2018 & passed it in the summer. This semester which is Spring 2020, I will be retaking my Spring 2019 retake classes which will be English 2 & Introduction to Humanities (Also called Art History). This semester registration doesn’t start until November, classes don’t start until January 13th, & the semester ends in May. I will be doing Her Campus, Working at my Middle School, & doing school all in one semester. I will be so dead tired, I probably won’t be doing social media a ton.

6. My cousin is having a baby! She announced in a few months ago but the baby is due in January! Her baby shower is next weekend with all of our family so I’m very excited! I can’t wait for this little baby boy to come & our family to grow one person bigger! Also sadly two of cousins, who are both married, their wives had miscarriages this month. We are incredibly heart broken because along with my cousin’s baby, the family was going to grow by 3 little angels. But sadly God had other plans for our family & took 2 of our little angels to heaven before we could meet them. It’s been a hard month for our family but hopefully with the little boy coming soon, we should have some light shine on us. 

7. Sickness! Y’all it’s going around. I have been sick, my dad has been sick, my mom has been sick, & some of my friends have been sick. Ugh it’s called cold & flu season for a reason. Also why I haven’t been on Tumblr is due to being sick. Sickness kicked my butt & I ended up sleeping a lot! I’m feeling 100% again so I’m back to freaking feeling normal again & it’s such a good feeling. My dad is still a little bit sick, so healing is taking awhile! 

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𝒫𝑜𝓈𝓉𝒾𝓃𝑔

Okay y’all! I will be catching up on posting in the next few days or so! I will be working on catch up posts from today (Wednesday) to however long it takes me to catch up! So be on the look out for new post! Life has just gotten so crazy for me that posting needed to stop for a while for me to enjoy all the positivity the world is giving me before I got back on social media!

Also new posts are up on my Instagram & my Disney Food Tumblr Blog! Go check those out & the links are right here!

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[tiny-personal-university-thing]

101 Ways to be Productive When Classes Are Not In Session

Get a job

Learn guitar

Learn piano

Study a new language

Purchase new study materials for the next semester (i.e new notebooks, a new pencil bag, a new backpack, new pencils, pens, or highlighters -- 10/10 would recommend Crayola SuperTips they are extremely cheap!)

Clean your room

Clean your apartment/home

Make your bed

Make a list of your goals

Exercise

Write

Find a new podcast (for my pre-law friends, I recommend Think Like A Lawyer)

Read a new book or read all of the books you have bought but not been able to read yet

Clean out your closet - donate clothes you do not wear anymore to Goodwill

Clean out your car/wash your car (actually necessary to ensure that dirt does not accumulate in its parts - TRUST ME) 

Be a tourist in your own city - find a new coffee shop you might like to study at when classes resume

Try new recipes - learn to cook by watching Youtube videos

Start a new skin care routine (I recommend Noxema {app $4} for your face wash, follow it up with Witch Hazel {app $6} and finish with Tea Tree Oil {app $8}!)

Start a new blog (or check out my new blog @tiny-personal-aesthetics-thing I know I’m shameless)

Volunteer at local animal shelters, retirement homes, hospitals, libraries, Habitat for Humanity, etc. 

Redecorate your room - try moving your bed or furniture around and see how it changes the fung shui (if you are into that)

Learn about photography

Work on your mental and physical health

Take your dog for a walk - I’m sure they would appreciate it

Ride a horse

Create a budget for yourself

Start a bujo

Draw

Paint

Watch a documentary

Create goals for next semester

Reflect on this past semester

Learn self-defense

Visit a museum or a park

Sell items you don’t want anymore on apps such as Letgo or via the Facebook Market

Start gardening

Call friends/family you haven’t heard from in awhile

Write friends/family you haven’t heard from in awhile

Go for a hike

Improve your vocabulary using resources such as: vocabulary.com, or enhancemyvocabulary.com

Fix your sleep schedule (!!!)

Learn about your family history

Utilize Khan Academy videos to brush up on math, science, or humanities

Clean out your email inbox

Get a test prep book for the LSAT/MCAT/GRE

Talk to an adultier adult in the field you wish to enter regarding your career options

Work on your resume

Increase your typing speed using websites such as: typing.com, typeracer.com, or rapidtyping.com

Write thank you notes to professors/instructors/advisors that you found particularly helpful - or to friends/family/mentors that also helped you out

Get your planner organized for the new semester (or buy a planner if you haven’t already)

Find and price the textbooks and access codes you will need for the coming semester

Jazz up/update your social media accounts (Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn) to reflect more on your professionalism (if you have those)

Update your style - new semester, new clothes, new you

Go swimming - nice low impact exercise 

Find a professional to shadow

Find an internship

Find scholarship opportunities (create a new email account to specifically use for scholarships!) 

Get a head start on the classes you will be taking by self-studying (a plethora of free information exists on the internet)

Be a mentor - tutor high schoolers/junior high students for SAT/ACT prep, or generally for whatever subjects they need help in 

Do manual labor - fix something, build something, mow the yard, clean the gutters

Do yoga

Work on breathing exercises

Treat yourself

Learn to say no

Go on graduate school tours

Travel (can be near or far, cheap or expensive - know your budget)

Do your own research project

Take an online sample course via edX,or Coursera

Start your graduate school application

Pet sit for someone

House sit for someone

Start your own Youtube channel

Work on your handwriting

Try sculpting

Attend networking events

Attend leadership events

Start a fundraiser for a cause

Learn to code

Study abroad - or solidify a study abroad trip

Create a four year plan for your degree

Visit family

Visit a friend

Get letters of recommendation

Get crafty

Take a practice test for the LSAT/ MCAT/ GRE

Take all of your loose change to a CoinStar and exchange them for cash

Learn about where your food comes from

Drink more water

Find an audio book to listen to when you are in the car or on the bus

Catch up on your laundry

Forge new good habits such as utilizing a planner or making your bed every day

Start a compost pile 

Grow your own herbs

Start meal prepping/meal planning 

Play basketball

Play tennis 

Get a haircut

Organize your desk 

Organize your laptop

Learn about astronomy

Rest, relax, and recuperate for the semester to come   

[inyournightmares97]

My Youth (Chapter 8)

Broken and miserable, Park Jinyoung returns to his hometown to learn that no matter how hard he falls, there are still people who think he’s a hero.

Warnings: Angst, slow build, maybe some language.  (Please don’t ask when I’ll update. Wait until the series is finished to read if you’re impatient.) Also, cutiepie Jaebum in this chapter is dedicated to @dearbeommie cause she’s the only one who mentioned him last chapter lmao. 

Word Count: 6k+

(Can’t put links to the other parts here, please check my Masterlist/the reblog for the Prologue and Chapters 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6)

“Hey! Did you fill out that career-option form?”

You glanced at your classmate and nodded. “Yeah. I filled it in but I forgot to get my Mom to sign it, so I guess I’ll turn it in tomorrow. Are you guys done with yours?”

The other girl sighed. “I don’t even know what to put down as my career aspirations. How are you sure about what you want to do?”

You smiled. “I’ve been thinking about it for a long time now. I just need to talk to the teacher about what universities I should apply to and what entrance exams I should prepare for.”

“Lucky. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow?”

You waved goodbye to her before bouncing over to Park Jinyoung’s desk. He had his head buried in a textbook and was scribbling rapidly; ever since the final year of high school had begun, Jinyoung was never seen without his nose in some study material.

“Let me guess. Going to stay back late and study in the library again?” you asked him.

Jinyoung barely looked at you. His head stayed buried in the book and you could barely see his face. “I’ve almost solved this one. Don’t interrupt me.”

You sighed. “Okay, I’m going home then. Bye!”

Jinyoung let out a dismissive grunt and you playfully smacked  his head over his dark, messy hair. He flinched and glared at you but you quickly ran out of the classroom. Riling up Jinyoung when he was trying to focus never got old. You walked home happily before you suddenly remembered the career options form. You couldn’t forget to get it signed today. You took it out of your bag just as you entered the apartment.

“Mom!” you called out. She wasn’t working in the afternoon so you assumed she’d be home. You could hear her voice coming from the kitchen; she was on the phone. You fell silent to avoid interrupting the phone call.

“I know,” your mother was saying. She sounded agitated. “I’m just terrified of what she’ll say. What if she wants to study in Seoul? What if she wants to go to law school or study science? How am I going to afford to pay for all that? I’ve already taken out so many loans…”

You froze. This didn’t seem like a conversation your mother would want you to hear. You stepped back and quickly hid behind the doorway.

Your mother paused and then sighed. “I know… I know she’s a clever girl. But even if she gets a scholarship for her tuition, the living costs in Seoul itself are too much for me to bear. You know  how long you and Mr. Park have been saving up for Jinyoung's studies…”

There was another brief pause as Mrs. Park responded. Your mother sounded even more upset. “I can’t tell her that! How could I look her in the eye and tell her that I don’t have the money to give her the same opportunity as all her classmates? How could I call myself her mother? I’ll do something. I’ll work more hours, I’ll find a way to get another loan…”

Your eyes widened. No. You couldn’t make your mother work more. You looked down at the career form in your hand. ‘I want to be a pediatrician!’ you had written foolishly. That meant years of medical school in Seoul, then years of residency at a large university hospital… how would you pay for all that? With your mother’s sweat and tears?

You crumpled the paper up and took a deep breath. Plastering a smile onto your face, you stepped into the kitchen.

“Mom! I’m home, what’s for dinner?” you asked cheerfully.

--------------------

“Drink more, Yugyeom-ssi. You don’t have to worry; I’m buying tonight!”

Yugyeom looked nervously at all the top-shelf liquor that Jaebum had ordered. Even the bartender was surprised; he had never sold so much expensive wine and whisky in this small town before. But Jaebum had ordered multiple bottles in the very first round.

Yugyeom glanced at you doubtfully as if to ask, is this okay, noona?  You gave him a small nod and a reassuring smile. He shrugged and then reached for the whisky without hesitation. After he took his first shot and received a friendly slap on the back from Jaebum, he appeared to loosen up a little. Jaebum smiled at him.

“So, what’s it like being a cop? Must be an interesting job.”

Yugyeom flushed and rubbed the back of his neck. “Uh, not so much. We don’t get a lot of crime around here aside from the occasional bar fight or neighbourly quarrels. That’s why I was really excited when I heard Jinyoung-hyung was back!” Yugyeom perked up and beamed at Jinyoung. “I requested specifically to be given this assignment! I told the Chief you might be more comfortable with me since we went to high school together.”

Jinyoung took a sip of his wine nonchalantly. “Huh.”

Jaebum grinned. “What was Jinyoung like back in high school? Was he as uptight as he is now?”

Yugyeom glanced at Jinyoung nervously. “Uh… I guess he was always really focused on his studies? Sometimes he was nice to me and sometimes he wasn’t, so I could never really figure out what he was thinking,” he admitted sheepishly. “But he was really cool. One time he helped me with my math homework!”

You glanced at Jinyoung and noticed that he looked a little disgruntled. He had put on one of the new sweaters you bought him before coming out to the pub. It wasn’t the boyfriend sweater, but it was still a rather nice light blue one that made him look handsome. You nudged him and he raised an eyebrow at you.

“Not having fun?” you joked.

Jinyoung forced a smile. “Oh no, I’m having a great time,” he muttered.

You glanced down at your phone when it buzzed. “Oh, speaking of high school, I got a few messages from Jackson. I told him where we are, so he’s on his way down here to join us. Is that okay?”

Jinyoung’s eyes widened. “What? No! Why would you invite Jackson Wang down here?”

“Should I not have?”

Jinyoung closed his eyes in annoyance. The last thing he wanted was for Jackson Wang to come down here and run his big mouth. The man had a penchant for creating trouble wherever he went. But you seemed confused, and Jinyoung couldn’t think of a solid reason why Jackson Wang shouldn’t join their little drinking party.

“Tell him not to come, he’ll just start making a fuss. He could never handle his alcohol back when I knew him.”

“Too late, he’s almost here,” you replied simply. You turned to Jaebum in an attempt to change the subject of conversation. “Tell us more about this girlfriend you’re going to Europe with tomorrow. Have you been together long?”

A soft smile spread across Jaebum’s face and he looked a little flustered. Even the thought of his girlfriend seemed to make him happy. “Ah… yeah, she’s pretty awesome. She’s an accountant. I met her a couple of years ago. I guess I have Jinyoung to thank for that.”

Jinyoung coughed uncomfortably. “It’s not like I introduced her to you.”

“It was during the earlier years of the company. She’d come in for a job interview. I’m not sure what Jinyoung said to her, but she emerged from his office a sobbing mess. I ran into her in the lobby and told her how she’d dodged a bullet since Jinyoung was a shitty boss anyway,” Jaebum said with a cheeky grin.

You smiled. You’d never wondered what sort of a boss Jinyoung would be. Now that you thought about it, he had surely been a demanding perfectionist. “I assume that she didn’t get hired?”

Jinyoung rolled his eyes. “Her resume was a shabby mess, you should have seen it. If you must know, she actually thanked me the next time we met. The constructive criticism I gave her helped her land a different job.”

Jaebum chuckled. “And the emotional trauma led her to me. Thanks for the assist, boss.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Actually, I’m thinking of proposing to her. I was wondering if I should be cheesy and do it in Paris,” Jaebum admitted with a shy smile. “She dropped a hint about having to make a move on if we wanted to have kids and I figure since I don’t even have a job right now, I have all the time in the world to plan a wedding.”

Yugyeom’s eyes widened. “Wow… proposing in Paris! That sounds so cool,” he said wistfully.

Jaebum leaned back coolly. “Have you thought about getting married, Yugyeom?”

Yugyeom blushed and bowed his head. “I don’t even have a girlfriend. I don’t think a lot of girls want to settle down with a small town cop. Girls usually want to go live in the city with guys that have a nice career. That’s why my ex dumped me…”

Jinyoung blinked. “That’s not true. Plenty of girls want to stay in small towns. Right?”

You were silent until you realized Jinyoung was looking at you for an answer. You shifted uncomfortably. Did he mean to say that you were a girl who had wanted to stay in your small town? You forced a smile and nodded awkwardly.

“Uh… yeah. Yeah, there are plenty of girls who don’t care for Seoul. I’ll introduce you to someone soon, Yugyeom. Don’t worry.”

Yugyeom smiled. “Thanks, noona.”

You turned to Jinyoung. “Why haven’t you gotten married yet? I’m sure there must have been plenty of girls who were dying to get their hands on an eligible bachelor like you. You must have had plenty of offers.”

He looked startled at your question. Before Jinyoung could compose himself, Jaebum responded.

“Jinyoung mostly dated casually. But he did get pretty close to an engagement once!”

You blinked in surprise. “Did he?”

“There was a really pretty chaebol heiress who set her sights on him two or three years ago.  She took Jinyoung home to meet her parents and everything. Everybody thought it would be a good idea for a self-made guy like him to marry into a family of money,” Jaebum pointed out. “But Jinyoung dumped her before the engagement could be finalised.”

You felt your stomach flip. Had he really gotten that close? You had assumed that adult Jinyoung would be just as uninterested in women and relationships as teenage Jinyoung had been, but you realized now that had been foolish. He was nearly 30 and there was no way he hadn’t thought about marriage. Any rich family would be delighted to take Jinyoung in as a son-in-law. He had everything. Looks, manner, grace and until recently, even success.

“Why did you dump her?” you asked.

Jinyoung shifted uncomfortably. “I mean… it would have been a marriage of convenience and status. But I realized that her father expected me to dissolve my company and work for him. So I cut it off.”

“Oh,” you muttered, looking down at your hands. You weren’t sure why this made your stomach turn. So he would have married her if her father hadn’t gotten involved? “I guess this was one of those things you sacrificed for your company, then.”

Jinyoung looked at you sharply, his dark eyes piercing into yours. “No,” he said firmly. “This was something I sacrificed for my dignity. She expected me to comply with whatever he father wanted. I realized this family would eventually strip me of my independence.”

Jaebum scoffed. “Most men would have gladly given up a little independence to join a family like that.”

Jinyoung glared at him. “Then maybe you should have married her.”

“All right, relax.”

“Besides,” Jinyoung added with a frown. “I wasn’t sure if my parents would be able to deal with being in-laws to a family like that. Those chaebols lived in a lot of luxury and… well, they didn’t really respect people who didn’t. It would have been hard on my mother.”

Jaebum sighed. “I guess that part is true. Gotta keep your mother happy most of all, right? Mine even gave me the family ring to propose to my gifriend. Want to see?”

Yugyeom perked up. “I do! Is it expensive?”

“It’s really old, it’s been in my family for decades…”

Jaebum pulled out the engagement ring and Yugyeom began to fawn over it. You couldn’t bring yourself to pay attention. Your stomach was churning and you felt sick. What had you been expecting? That Jinyoung had been living a dull, bland life like you until now?

Ten years was a long time. Jinyoung had probably dated so many women, seen so many countries and experienced so many things. What was this town to him in his enormous world? A small dot that wasn’t even visible on a map? A distant memory that he thought of every now and then?

You looked at Jinyoung seated next to you. He was right there, soft hands gently wrapped around his wine glass as he looked at Jaebum’s ring with mild interest. His dark hair flopped into his face and his soft lips were stained with the cheap wine.

Jinyoung was right there. Less than a foot away from you.

So why did he suddenly seem so far away?

You were struck with the feeling that you’d missed out on so much. Like a child who has been left behind while all his friends go out to play, you felt alone and lost. You looked at Jinyoung and wondered exactly what else he’d done in the last ten years, exactly what had made him the person he was now.

You didn’t know any of that.

“Should we order more-”

“Hey guys! Sorry I’m late!” Jackson Wang boomed. He entered the pub noisily, just as he did almost everything else. He gave you a cheerful grin and turned to shake hands heartily with everyone at the table.

“Thanks for calling me over, Miss First Grade. And Officer Yugyeom! I haven’t seen you in a while, how are things down at the station? Don’t think that I haven’t noticed you’ve been avoiding me, Park Jinyoung. Oh... I don’t think we’ve met before. I’m Jackson Wang.”

Jaebum shook hands with him, bemused. “So I’ve heard. I’m Jinyoung’s friend, Im Jaebum.”

“Why wasn’t I invited to this little gathering?” Jackson demanded as he poured himself a glass of whisky.

Jinyoung frowned. “Does it matter? You managed to turn up anyway.”

“Sorry if I go a little heavy on the liquor tonight,” Jackson apologized before he promptly downed the entire glass. “I haven’t been able to touch any alcohol lately. My wife is pregnant and the smell makes her nauseous so now I’m not allowed to drink any either. She went to bed early tonight, though, so she won’t know a thing.”

You slowly tugged the glass away from Jackson. He seemed a little too optimistic for his own good. “She’ll be furious if you stumble back home drunk in the middle of the night,” you pointed out. Jackson frowned and sighed.

“Okay, fine. What were you folks talking about before I arrived?” he demanded.

Yugyeom piped up. “Jaebum-ssi was just showing us his engagement ring!”

Jackson leaned over the table to get a good look. The ring was certainly beautiful; it had a rather antique charm to it. “Wow. That’s amazing. I wish I could have afforded something like that when I proposed to Aeri. We had to get married in the local church.”

You smiled at Jackson warmly. “Your wedding was beautiful.”

Jackson grinned. “Yeah, it was, wasn’t it?” He turned to Jinyoung and elbowed him sharply. “I sent you an invite, you jerk. You never even responded. I would have asked you to be my Best Man if you’d been around. You’re the one who helped me and Aeri get together, after all.”

Jaebum raised an eyebrow in amusement. “Jinyoung helped you? Did he by any chance make your wife cry too?”

Jackson blinked. “What? No. He helped me confess my feelings to her over Christmas!”

You raised an eyebrow. You hadn’t heard this story before. Aeri had told you plenty of times that Jackson had asked her to be his girlfriend on the Christmas Eve after graduation, but you had no idea what Jinyoung had to do with that.

You glanced at Jinyoung. His face had turned pink. He reached over and grabbed Jackson’s sleeve.

“Jackson, maybe we don’t need to-”

“I was super nervous about confessing to Aeri. We’d been flirting around for a long time but I didn’t know if it was serious, you know? When Jinyoung came home from uni for Christmas, I really wanted to ask for his advice but it was hard to get him alone,” Jackson explained, ignoring Jinyoung’s panicked expression. “I finally told him about it during the Christmas Eve party at his house.”

Jaebum leaned forward eagerly. “Oh?”

Jinyoung took a deep breath. “Jackson, please don’t tell this story-”

Jackson ignored him and let out a delighted laugh. “Anyway, turns out this guy is working up the courage to confess to the girl he likes too! He coolly reached into his pocket and pulled out a handful of mistletoe,” Jackson roared. “And he handed me half and told me to go for it! He said to just hold up the mistletoe over Aeri and ask her to kiss me because he was planning on doing it too!”

You stared at Jinyoung, shocked. What? Jinyoung, carrying around mistletoe? Jinyoung, confessing to someone he liked over that Christmas break? Why did all of this sound completely new to you? If Jinyoung had truly liked someone then wouldn’t he have told you about it before telling his loudmouth classmate Jackson Wang?

“But-”

Jackson wasn’t done. “Anyway, I was still nervous so I decided to wait around until he came back. Jinyoung had gotten rejected but he didn’t even tell me, he just gave me another pep talk until I finally went up to Aeri with the mistletoe. He even kept watch near the park to make sure nobody would run into us!”

“Rejected?” you demanded, looking at Jinyoung. He was avoiding your gaze. “Who rejected Jinyoung?”

Jackson blinked at you.

“What a stupid question. You did.”

There was a long, awkward silence. Jinyoung suddenly stood up, his chair scraping back loudly in the pub. He took a shuddering breath and then stormed off towards the bathrooms, leaving the rest of the group in silence. You stared after him numbly and then looked at Jackson.

“You mean…”

Jackson nodded. “Come on. Jinyoung was crazy about you back then. He said that going to uni made him realize how much he really cared about you and that he was going to make you his girlfriend no matter what. You didn’t know that?”

Your throat closed up.

“No,” you whispered. “No, I didn’t.”

------------------------------------------------------

“Sweetheart, are you sure you don’t want to give the college entrance exams another try next year? Maybe you could go to law school, or even study engineering...”

You glanced at your mother while you shifted the cookies into a large box for the party later that evening. She had been catching on to your well-kept secret; she knew that you weren’t happy at the local college. The faculty was poor and classes were dull and unchallenging. The only  advantage the university offered was that it was cheap, and that you could afford to attend while living at home.

But your mother couldn’t know that.

Your mother couldn’t know that you were unhappy.

“That just sounds like such a pain, Mom,” you told her lightly. It was getting harder and harder to come to terms with the fact that all your friends had left to do fancy degrees in Seoul while you were still here. But you knew hearing that would break your mother’s heart. You couldn’t make her work for your education. It wasn’t worth it. “Why would I want to give the entrance exams again? I’ll just pass the teaching certification course and then I can get a job teaching. The elementary school here always has vacancies.”

Your mother sighed. “Of course it had vacancies, but is that what you want? We could always take out a loan if money is the problem-”

You frowned at her. “Did I tell you money is the problem?”

“No, but…”

“Then let’s not talk about this,” you replied. You smiled and showed her how you’d arranged the cookies in the shape of a little Christmas tree in the box. “Isn’t this pretty?”

Your mother smiled. “It’s lovely, dear.”

“I’m going to head over to the Parks’ with these,” you told her as you sealed the box. “Mrs. Park probably needs help setting up since the party is at their house, and I haven’t seen much of Jinyoung since he just came back. You’ll come later, right?”

She nodded. “Go ahead.”

You grabbed the cookie box and moved towards the front door. Your mother had been extremely persistent about convincing you to try and change to a college in Seoul, even though you both knew that you couldn't afford it. You had overheard her conversations with Mrs. Park and had even heard her asking Jinyoung if you were telling the truth about wanting to be an elementary school teacher.

You couldn’t even tell your best friend about your pipe dreams, in case he went and told your mother and upset her.

You took a deep breath and forced a smile. You could do this. It was okay. What was so bad about being a teacher? You’d get to interact with cute little kids and you wouldn’t have to work insane hours. It was probably for the best, right?

You sighed.

Oh, well. At least Jinyoung was back.

Maybe he’d have some interesting stories to tell about Seoul.

---------------------

When Jinyoung returned to the table, he looked a little more composed. He sat down and took a deep breath. Everyone stared at him. Your own heartbeat was thudding as you waited for an explanation. What was going on? Why did you and Jackson seem to have completely different ideas about what happened that Christmas Eve?

Jinyoung turned to blink at Jackson. “I, uh, I actually didn’t confess to her that night,” he admitted slowly and quietly. His words sounded strained and you hated that he wasn’t looking at you. Weren’t you the one who deserved an explanation? He sighed and kept his eyes on Jackson. “I lied. I chickened out and didn’t do it. I lied and told you I got rejected because I didn’t want you to chicken out too.”

Jackson stared at him. “Well, shit.”

“So you actually had feelings for me?” you blurted out.

Jinyoung glanced at you and turned his hands back down to his lap. His cheeks were pink and he was biting his wine-stained lips nervously. Then he looked up at you and nodded.

“Yeah. Yeah, I did,” he mumbled.  

You struggled not to flush in embarrassment. How? How had you not known that your best friend had feelings for you? Had it been that night of the party? The night that Jinyoung suggested the two of you meet on the bridge? Your mind whirled as you tried to remember the events of that night. What had you discussed? How had you been so ignorant of his feelings?

Why didn’t he tell you the truth?

Why was your heartbeat thudding at the mere thought of Jinyoung asking you to be his girlfriend?

You cleared your throat and forced a smile. Jinyoung looked embarrassed. He evidently hadn’t wanted to talk about this and you could understand why. He had dated chaebol heiresses and beautiful models since high school. What kind of successful man would want to admit that he’d once had a crush on the girl next door?

His standards had been different then.

Jinyoung had been different then.

He was probably ashamed. You didn’t want to prolong his embarrassment even more. You simply reached out for your glass of wine and emptied it down your throat, before smiling around at the awkward expressions of everyone around you.

“Funny how things happen,” you mused lightly. “Does anyone want another drink?”

Yugyeom held out his glass and squeaked.

“Yes, please.”

----------------------------------------------

Jinyoung avoided your gaze for the rest of the night.

Jackson tried hard to liven up the mood again, albeit a little forcefully, and managed to get poor Yugyeom to divulge a few embarrassing stories about himself. The conversation flowed after that but Jinyoung sat silently and kept drinking. It was only when the pub began to close that you all trickled out onto the street. Jackson insisted on going home to his wife, leaving the rest of you to stumble back to the closest home: the Parks’.

After a brief whispered discussion it was agreed that Yugyeom would sleep on the couch. You would take the guest bedroom, and Jaebum would crash on the floor in Jinyoung’s room. You tiptoed up the stairs so as not to wake Mr. and Mrs. Park and then lied in the guest room.

You couldn’t sleep.

You should have slept like a baby after all that wine, but you kept thinking about Jinyoung. You kept thinking about how Jinyoung had wanted to confess to you. You kept thinking about the fact that at some point in time, he had wanted you to be his girlfriend.

You imagined Jinyoung holding a sprig of mistletoe above your head and leaning in to kiss you with his soft lips. You imagined hugging him in that warm sweater and cuddling into his chest. You imagined him whispering something sweetly into your ear and then kissing you until your lips were swollen. You imagined running your fingers through Jinyoung’s soft, dark hair.

Oh god.

You sat upright in bed and rubbed your eyes. You couldn’t do this. You couldn’t start picturing these things now. Jinyoung’s romantic interest in you had been a decade ago. He had dated so many women since then. He had even considered marrying one. Wasn’t this proof that his feelings were a small thing of the past? Just the passing crush of a hormonal, adolescent teenage boy whose best friend was a girl?

It was nothing. Why should it matter now?

It shouldn't. You wouldn’t let it.

You couldn’t.

You tried to sleep for almost an hour before you finally tiptoed downstairs. Yugyeom was mumbling under his breath and snoring intermittently on the couch so you snuck past him into the kitchen. The light was already on. Jinyoung was standing there in his slippers with a glass of water and he looked up at you, startled.

“Uh…”

Your heart skipped a beat at the sight of Jinyoung’s slightly dishevelled hair and his soft eyes. His cheeks were still flushed pink from all the drinking. He folded his arms across his chest and stared down at the floor to avoid your gaze.

“Couldn’t sleep either?” you asked him casually, trying to compose yourself. You reached for a glass from the shelf and slowly filled it with some water.

Jinyoung cleared his throat and nodded. “Uh, yeah. I forgot how badly Jaebum snores when he’s had too much to drink. Haven’t roomed with him since college,” he muttered.

“Are you going to keep avoiding me?”

Jinyoung looked startled. He swallowed and then shook his head quickly. His lips were pressed together. “I’m not avoiding you-”

“But you won’t even look at me.”

“I’m just…” Jinyoung sighed and dropped his arms to his sides. His shoulders slumped as he let out a dry chuckle. “I’m just embarrassed. Sorry.”

You nodded. “I’ll admit I was kind of caught off guard, but there’s nothing to be embarrassed about. I mean, we were teenagers back then. It wasn’t that serious. We had innocent crushes all the time, right? I even had a bit of a crush on Jackson when he joined the basketball team and got all buff,” you replied dismissively. Jinyoung merely stared at you. You couldn’t read the expression in his eyes.

“Right,” he said slowly. ”Except it wasn’t just a crush.”

You froze. “Huh?”

“I might as well tell you everything while the wine is still in my system,” Jinyoung replied with a frown. You were shocked when he stepped closer to you and looked you straight in the eyes. “I’ve liked you since high school. At first I kept quiet about it because it seemed so awkward and I didn’t think you’d take it well. I kept telling myself what you just said; that it was a passing crush because you were getting prettier day by day, and that it would fade in some time.”

“Oh,” you mumbled.

“But it didn’t. I tried dating other girls in college but nothing worked. Jaebum would take me out on group dates and I would just sit there feeling uncomfortable. I would sit there wishing I was with you. None of them could ever compete with you. If they were as smart as you, then they weren’t as kind-hearted. If they were as kind-hearted, then they weren’t as funny. If they were funny, then they weren’t as beautiful. It drove me crazy until I decided that I’d never find anyone like you. I made up my mind to confess my feelings to you over Christmas break. I wanted to make you mine.”

Your stomach exploded in butterflies. You had never imagined Jinyoung looking down at you like this, whispering these things to you in this dimly-lit kitchen. You swallowed and stared up at him nervously.

“What happened that Christmas Eve?” you whispered. “You’re not the type to chicken out.”

“I made a choice,” Jinyoung muttered.

“What choice?”

“I realized that I was being selfish. Even if you agreed to be my girlfriend, you didn’t want to go to Seoul,” Jinyoung muttered. “You wanted to stay here in this town. You wanted to get married and have kids and be a teacher and live a quiet life. You wanted to be with your mother. What was the point in asking you to be my girlfriend when our lives were headed in such different directions? I couldn’t give you what you wanted. I didn’t want to settle down in this small town. I was just starting to achieve bigger dreams.”

You felt weak. “Oh.”

Jinyoung took a deep, shuddering breath as he closed his eyes. “I didn’t want you to be a fling. I didn’t want you to be a long-distance relationship that fell apart eventually. I didn’t want to promise you forever and confess to you carelessly, while knowing there would be a time-limit for our relationship. What if things only got bitter between us? What if we began to resent each other for not compromising on our lifestyles? What if you had the chance to find a man who loved you and wanted the same life you wanted? I couldn’t be responsible for stopping you from finding him.”

You wrapped your arms around yourself quietly. “I see,” you whispered. “So you made a choice.”

Jinyoung nodded. “You know what I chose.”

“I do,” you replied. Your eyes filled with tears as you looked up at him. “You put your choice into effect pretty instantly, didn’t you, Jinyoung? That night was the last night you spoke to me for ten years.”

Jinyoung bit his lip. “It was too difficult for me-”

“It was pretty damn difficult for me, too.”

“I…” Jinyoung paused. His throat had closed up. “I’m sorry.”

You cleared your throat and wiped away your tears with the back of your sleeve quickly. You didn’t want Jinyoung to see you crying. You didn’t want him to know that you were mourning what you had lost; all those opportunities, all that time.

“Anyway,” you muttered quietly. “It was all in the past and you can’t possibly still have feelings for me after all these years, so it doesn’t matter-”

“Why do you think it’s not possible for me to still having feelings for you?”

You stared up at him with shocked wide eyes. “Do you?”

“You haven’t changed at all,” Jinyoung pointed out with a soft, wistful smile. “You’re still the same person.”

“But you’ve changed. A lot.”

Jinyoung looked at his feet and bit his lip nervously. His dark hair covered his eyes and when he looked up at you, it suddenly didn’t seem like he had changed. He was the same Park Jinyoung that you’d known all your life. Those were the same brown eyes and the same caring expression. Only now, he was making your heart leap.

“I guess I have changed a little,” Jinyoung admitted softly. “There are some things I would choose differently now, if I had the choice to choose again.”

“What does that mean?”

Jinyoung smiled wistfully.

“It means that if you ever see me carrying mistletoe around then this time, you don’t have to wonder who it’s for.”

----------------------------

“Jinyoung!” you greeted him happily as you watched him approaching. The Christmas Eve party was taking place at the Parks’ home but JInyoung had texted you to meet him by the bridge. His house was full of neighbours and you’d barely managed to get a word in with him all day. “Why did you want to meet out here?”

Jinyoung shrugged lightly. He was bundled up in his winter coat, hands stuck in his pockets. “Just because the house was so crowded and we couldn’t talk properly.”

You grinned. “Your Mother always has to throw a party on Christmas Eve.”

“And then she complains about how her back aches all of next day,” Jinyoung replied with a cheeky smile as he reached you. He turned towards the railing and looked down at the dark river flowing beneath the bridge. “I missed being here.”

You smiled. “You probably did. That’s why I never want to leave.”

Jinyoung raised an eyebrow. “Never? Come on. Your Mom told me earlier that she’s trying really hard to convince you to switch to a college in Seoul. You might be a year behind everyone else but it’s still worth it, right? Seoul is amazing. I could show you the Han River and the trains are amazing-”

You felt something stir in your stomach. You wanted to see what Jinyoung was talking about. You wanted so badly to go with him and study medicine, to become a doctor and help save lives. But that wasn't an option for you. It was better not to think about it.

“I’m okay. I’ve never been as ambitious as you, Jinyoung. I think I’ll settle down here.”

Jinyoung blinked. “Here?”

“Yeah. I like it here. I can be close to my Mom. I’ll become a local elementary school in a few years, and I’ll marry a nice man who won’t mind my mother living with us and I’ll have lots of cute kids,” you replied brightly. You turned to look at JInyoung and saw that he wasn’t smiling. You nudged him slightly. “What are you going to do? Marry some rich heiress and inherit her fortune?”

Jinyoung looked offended. “Hey. I’ll make my own fortune.”

You giggled. “Just a suggestion.”

“But I mean, you really…” Jinyoung took a deep breath and bit his lip. “You really don’t want to do anything more with your life? You know you’re smart. You don’t have to rush to get married. If you just studied at a better college then you could get a job in Seoul and you could live a much better life-”

“This is my better life,” you replied firmly. You couldn’t let yourself be carried away by fancies. “I don’t want anything else. This is what I genuinely want.”

“Really?” he whispered.

You laughed at him. “Why are you trying so hard to change my mind? If you think getting a job in Seoul and going to a prestigious college is so great, then do it yourself! We don’t have to agree on something like that. Everyone is different, Jinyoung.”

Jinyoung forced a smile. “I thought we were kind of similar.”

“Maybe not enough.”

Jinyoung shoved his hands in his pockets, fingers closing around the small sprig of mistletoe that was hidden deep inside. It suddenly seemed like a small and useless twig.

“Maybe not enough,” he echoed.

------------

[kikifeliz]

8 TIPS FOR MAKING THE MOST OUT OF YOUR UNIVERSITY EXPERIENCE!

Deciding to become a university student is a huge investment of both time and money. You don't want to start only to have to drop out due to finances or failing grades. You also don't want to finish and find that all you have is a piece of paper with mountains of debt and no job prospects.

The average cost of a 4-year Bachelor's degree is about $36k at a public university, and about $136k at a private university. Google the yearly cost of your school of choice, then multiply by 4. Then add on about 5k for the additional costs of books and travel fees, clothing, and other miscellaneous. Then add on about 10k for the interest that your student loan debt will incur! 😫

The average cost of graduate degrees can vary by school and concentration, but can easily cost over 90k for tuition alone. Student loan debt is not a joke! Invest your time wisely while you're in school so you don't end up regretting your decision and sharecropping your life away in some 9-5 that you hate.

So, here are my tips for making the most of your time as a university student! Whether you're in undergrad or graduate school, I hope this advice helps you! I'm not going to give you the basic "go to every single class" bullshit. While that's undoubtedly good advice, I want to be a bit more practical and dig a little deeper. I think if you're paying for an experience like college, it's obvious that you should attempt to be as immersed in that experience as possible. You're not going to pay for entrance to a water park then stay off the slides and out of the pool, are you? No, you're going to jump in and go on as many rides as possible! At university, you're paying for school, so you need to treat it the same way. If you're paying for a class, obviously you should go as often as you possibly can. So in the hopes that I can be practical without being trite, I'm going to address the finer details of the college experience. From the perspective of a woman who's in the process of finishing her 2nd Master's degree (at an Ivy League school, no less), you can take it or leave it!

1. Update your resume as soon as you commit to a school and give them your deposit.

As soon as you've paid the deposit to the school of your choose and sent back your decision letter, go ahead and update your resume. If you don't have a resume, make one now! There are plenty of templates online you can follow.

Include your new school and anticipated graduation date under the "Education" section. (You can add it to your social media bios too, if you're into that sort of thing.) The truth of the matter is, the moment you pay the deposit to the school, you've paid for the brand name. You might as well start wielding and wearing it ASAP! This will help you as you apply for internships for the summer after high school and during your freshman year of college.

2. Once on campus, join clubs and student associations.

This is super important! So much of college is about networking. Once you graduate and leave campus, your college network can help you find jobs, travel, keep you up to date with learning opportunities/conferences, or even help you settle into to a new city. It's important to make authentic connections with people on campus outside of your immediate friend group, and a great way to do that is through common interest clubs or associations. Attend a programs fair and check your school's websites and message boards to find events.

Once you've decided which clubs you want to join, make sure to introduce yourself to the leadership! By getting to know the club leaders, you can make sure you'll always know what's next for the group so that you can take part and continue to build community.

3. ‪Spend as much time as you can at the library and in other public study spaces on/around campus.‬

Most university libraries will have cafés, help desks, computer labs, and even group study areas. Often it's okay to talk in the group study areas, so you can always take a break from studying and do a bit of socializing when you need to. When you need more privacy or quiet space, it's typically available just a room or a floor away! Bring healthy snacks like carrots and almonds and chocolate-covered espresso beans or raisins to keep you energized and alert.

Studying is obviously an important part of being in college. You don't want to get into the job field without fluency in the language/jargon or requisite content knowledge that is necessary to succeed!

4. Use the "free" time to develop your genuine interests and hobbies.

If you have the time and don't have a ton of responsibility to other people in your family, take advantage of that! You likely won't have a lot of time like that in your life again. Use this period to follow your curiosities and your interests. Make art! Join an intramural sport! Experiment with fashion! Work part-time in a place you never thought you would! The possibilities are endless. As my dad would say, "It's your world, squirrel!" (He's really corny.)

5. Be as discerning as possible with the classes you take - you are paying for each of them, after all!

Take classes that really interest you, with professors you truly want to learn from. Read the class descriptions carefully, and do research on the professors. Try to get professors that have great ratings, multiple publishings in reputable journals, books, and websites, and a good track records of helping students.

Many colleges have core curricula that you must complete to graduate. If the classes in your core don't interest you, see if you can find ways to navigate the system so that there's a silver lining or so you can make the best out of them. Always give it a shot, you may find that you're more interested once you attend than you were by reading the description alone.

Even if the class isn't of interest, the people there probably are - especially if everyone has to take it! Whether that's ensuring you get the best professor that's offered or finding a great group of friends to struggle through it with, get to know the people around you. Maybe you decide to develop a working relationship with the TA by attending office hours and asking questions about how to contextualize the content in a way that's more engaging for you or more aligned with your interests. To do this, just explain your interests or proposed field of study and ask them for examples of how you can transfer the knowledge you're learning in class toward your interest.

Another option is seeing if you can take the class pass/fail. If this is possible and the class isn't aligned with what you feel your true academic interests are, then don't expend too much effort. Attend lecture, pass the class, and devote your time to your other interests. (This is an option only for people who are serious about not failing the class. Make sure you calculate what scores you'll need to pass exams and other requirements like attendance, and hold yourself accountable to these. Do your absolute best on your papers! Taking a class pass/fail is NOT an excuse to slack off or avoid doing your best work, but it may be a way for you to free up some time if you calculate your grades and find that you don't need to do every single assignment to pass.)

6. If you can find a work-study job or start a side hustle *without* jeopardizing your grades, do so!

Again, the student loans are no joke. I avoid taking them if I can, because I hate debt. Of course, this means I occasionally have had to pay tuition out of my own pocket. I held 3 jobs when I was in undergrad and have always had side hustles even while working 9-5. Many of my favorites have included babysitting, tutoring, pet/house sitting, DJing, and party planning. I know a lot of people in grad school who also worked in restaurants or as delivery drivers, as administrative aids in university offices, law offices, and medical practices. Nowadays, a lot of people work as as influencers, photographers, video editors, and models for their side hustles. I always preferred jobs that were lowkey so I could study. My favorite work-study job was at the library! I always got to see my friends and I could read PDF copies of my assignments while I sat at the circulation desk.

7. Find out about scholarships and fellowships that are offered by different departments in your university.

A lot of fellowships and scholarships are only advertised internally by department and school. Spend time on your department's website and stop by the department office every few weeks to make sure you're up to date on the opportunities that are being offered to students. Become a frequent patron of Financial Aid to see what is available through that office as well.

Additionally, feel free to email the department chair/other professors to ask if they know of any fellowships or scholarship opportunities that may come up in the future so you can be prepared. Ask about qualifications for those as well, so you can plan ahead.

Do your research and make sure you qualify for these opportunities! In writing your essays, attend to each point of criteria laid out in the "call for applications." Treat your essay similarly to how you'd apply for the job. Why are you the right person to receive this money? How do you fulfill the criteria that this scholarship is supporting?

8. If you're struggling with your studies, use the resources on campus that you're *already paying for* in order to get back on track.

This includes TA and professor office hours, peer tutors, the writing center (most universities will have offices that can help you structure and edit your essays, etc.).

Join or create study groups by finding a partner in your class to study with, and ask the university librarians (and your advisor!) what other resources/tutoring/study help is available on campus.

A strong foundation in the content knowledge for your field of choice is a necessity once your graduate. My father always told me, "The key to success is uncommon knowledge." I agree with this somewhat, but I really believe it's actually that the key is an uncommon thirst for mastery. You move forward in your career and your personal development by learning and mastering new levels of skill. The more you know and the better you can communicate, the more respected you'll be in your field - which opens the door to further opportunities. Studying (and studying *well*) is imperative during your time at university!

Good luck this year, scholars! Work smarter & always remember, education is the key! We cannot dismantle the master's house with the master's tools//we are the gold we wanna hold! Go forth & make this school year your bitch!

Xoxo,

Kiki

(c) 2019 by Kiki Feliz

[emilyjunk]

as someone who has just started college/university this year, and is six weeks into semester one, yet has never had the chance of being hired for their first job yet, do you have any advice? on managing class and work? how to get a job and stand out to potential hirers? hope you don't mind me asking, junk; i just know you've graduated and thought you'd know more than i. thanks - baby 19 year old to be

thats funny i literally took a break from updating my resume to check tumblr and saw this message lmao...

um it depends what you’re asking! are you trying to find like a temporary job while you’re in school? i have advice for that. i worked a job all through both my degrees and did several extra curriculars to boot so my biggest advice is make sure you prioritize whatever you think is your main thing. for me that was not necessarily school at all times, but sometimes it was. sometimes my extra curriculars took priority and i justified this because they look good on resumes. look at your syllabi and make sure you plan around big tests/papers/projects etc and that you dont work when you need to be doing school stuff. my advice is that... as far as GPA goes, if you at least GRADUATE, that’s all employers care about for the most part. they dont really look at your gpa, UNLESS you are shooting for honors or need to keep a certain GPA to keep a scholarship/do additional activities. if your job is an internship, sometimes you may want to prioritize that bc it’s getting you school experience AND work experience. honestly wish i wouldve gotten an internship when i was in college so maybe that would be my biggest advice. get yourself an internship while you’re in school and can.

as far as getting a job outside college... im sad to say i have minimal advice on that as i havent been successful in terms of getting a job that constitutes a “real career”... guess it depends on your degree and on your school. i have a liberal arts degree and i went to a huge pac12 school so they werent as helpful toward individuals in terms of helping find work, although i did try to utilize the career center, but their help was pretty minimal and self-serving. if you have a specialized degree OR you’re in a smaller university, they often can help you find jobs or at least help with your resume/job hunt/getting an internship. definitely check into that. most small schools get students to choose to attend there for the very reason that they help students find jobs and have a huge graduation to employment rate. my biggest thing seriously is probably try to get an internship. it looks awesome on your resume because it’s basically work experience, and for the most part, they’re not too hard to get bc ://// usually they dont pay you and are there for the simple reason to help people get experience without taking a risk on an employee they need to pay. sucks but it true. 

idk im sorry im not too much help! if there was one form of advice about college that im not super equipped to give it’s this! if you have more specific questions, i’d be happy to do my best!!