#need someone on aux
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Late night music drives.
#need someone on aux#there's only so much triple j and 4zzz a bitch can handle#I BOUGHT A MALE TO MALE 3.5MM ADAPTOR FOR MY 3.5MM TO USB C ADAPTOR JUST FOR THIS CAR TO NOT HAVE AN AUX INPUT#there is a normal usb thing there it might work on#anybody got a fkn usb a to usb c adapter i can use literally right now?
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while i know wwx somehow managed to invent being a passenger princess in a society without cars, i do think in a modern au he would have the most rundown car in existence. it's older than he is. he has to smack it multiple times to get the a/c to work. he lost one of the side mirrors and it was too expensive to track down a replacement so he just duct taped a hand mirror to the side of the car. the drain pipe scrapes against the ground when he goes over bumps. he has definitely lived in it at some point. it is, of course, named suibian
#mdzs#he is over six feet tall and the car is a narrow little two door thing#so when he was sleeping in the back of it he was definitely having to twist into a pretzel#he had to buy it himself when he was like nineteen because the jiangs wouldn't buy him one#yanli has a very sensible mom van#jiang cheng has a motorcycle and he would be so fucking cool if not for his whole everything#lwj has a car that's simultaneously very practical and absurdly expensive#he keeps it very clean#there is a whole year's worth of fast food wrappers in wwx's car#meanwhile lwj's car is so immaculate it could be brand new#until of course wwx begins bumming rides off of him#and he's like lan zhan! you don't even have a pile of napkins in the glove compartment! what if you need a tissue!#and begins leaving evidence of himself everywhere#his favorite tube of chapstick is in the door pocket#his car doesn't have an aux port but lwj's does so he leaves an aux cable in his car#they go on a roadtrip and he throws a blanket in the backseat and then it just lives there forever now#at some point it ends up perfectly folded but still there whenever wwx gets cold#i don't know anything about car types or brands#but i do know car Vibes and what it says about someone's personality lmao
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if you dont mind sharing, what are some of your favorite ska songs/bands?
I will admit I am not a huge band person I tend to be more of a "pick whatever random songs sound good" person, so I can't recommend any good bands. I also listen to Ska Punk, which is a subgenre of Ska... and Punk. So I am not a good authority on Ska songs to listen to I am just someone who is banned from being passed the aux cord...
But some of my favorite songs include:
No Children - Ska (cover)
Quinto Patio Ska
Everything Went Numb
S F D D
And songs by Reel Big Fish tbh. I know I just said I don't listen to specific bands but Reel Big Fish has some pretty good songs like...
Sell Out
And their Take on Me cover
Here's my disclaimer, though: I am not into music subcultures I just listen to whatever sounds good (and jazzy punk with horns sounds good), so I could be giving absolutely awful music recommendations that anyone who is especially into Ska (and more specifically Ska Punk) might find egregious. I personally just grab whatever song sounds good and add them to my forever long playlist.
Also the Jabberjaw (Running Underwater) song from Pain used for the Cartoon Network Boomerang Groovies is probably the reason I enjoy Ska punk so much, and it has been in my playlist for years now:
If nothing else in this list interests you, I require everyone by law to listen to Jabberjaw Running Under Water by pain and watch the Cartoon Network Boomerang Groovie video of it. I used to watch Boomerang a million times, and this was probably the only Groovie I really enjoyed watching and didn't go to the bathroom during.
#im very embarassed about being open with my music tastes because I feel like a poser 100% of the time#but im not really claiming to be a part of any music subcultures im moreso just someone who likes what I like#and is banned from using bluetooth or the aux in the car#so im owning it#here's some songs I listen to that are ska (specifically ska punk)#and if someone who is more knowledgeable on the topic and is a part of the subculture wants to add on please do#and if you trash on me for my music tastes that is fair#half of my songs on my playlist are indie songs of debatable quality ya know?? so im not the best music authority#i like my punk songs with horns ya know??#i need some brass in there#trust me my number 1 song on spotify was Lucky Ducks from the Bobs Burgers movie#and my number 2 song was the instrumental version of Lucky Ducks from the Bobs Burgers movie#and no other bobs burgers songs#so I am NOT the person to ask for music recommendations#I once annoyed my family by adding europop to the roadtrip playlist#I have the entire Cats broadway cast recording on CD and my 3 favorite songs on my main playlist#am I talking myself down because I am not confident in myself and scared of judgement from others for my music choices? yes#but also I am speaking from experience that no one lets me touch the aux cord for a REASON
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i love you and i love how enthusiastic you are about trip duties
you are entirely correct about them
Thank u, kind visitor! 💙 I just rlly love driving. & having a highly competent right hand 🫡
#asks#anonymous#driving#nice things#I was a mediaeval king or something in a past life perhaps. or a fighter pilot in a 2-seater craft. or a tank driver.#I also need someone who keeps their sangfroid under pressure#bc my janky aux cord randomly goes KXXXXXXXXH really loudly (like static) & jumpscares everyone#& I need the codriver to reset it#not often. it'll do that like once in a fortnight. but still...#anyway the first mate position doesn't go to just anyone‚ certainly not on long trips#'I'm riding shotgun! ^_^' no ur not. last time u were scrolling through yr feed the whole time I needed u to ensure we don't miss our turn#& u dropped my phone under the seat. u r not the henchman ur not capable of being the henchman#so it's a serious job. BUT that person is also the one who has access to the lolly tin. AND the Cars™ car bandaids#which is perhaps the funniest item I own (to take people's minds off their minor injuries) so u know. it has its perks#in hindsight perhaps I should've allocated that seat as surgeon as well as navigator & first mate!#heavy lies the mantle of duty on the shoulders of whomever I seat in front of the glove compartment 🫡
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“once i was out of my mum i never looked back”
holy shit that’s such a funny line
#this is so fucking funny#ted lasso#3.09 la locker room aux folles#colin hughes#aj watches#i like how trent says ‘you shouldn’t have to [give someone a minute to come to terms with the fact you’re gay] but some people need it’#because you SHOULDN’T but nonetheless some people DO#i’m assuming also that it’s more that isaac’s upset colin hid this from him (and actively lied to him) for their entire friendship
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jfc im . so fucking lonely this fucking sucks
#i just need . to spend time with someone#casual touch and conversation#handling the aux for them#cuddling together at night#but i fucking cant. jesus fucking christ
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IS IT A DATE OR IS IT JUST FRIENDLY????????
I NEED ANSWERS!!!
#i'm getting a drink with someone this afternoon#and like#date or friends.... I like both#both is fine#BUT I NEED TO KNOW#also I said to a guy that I will have a drink with him next week#he clearly thinks it's a date#and NO????#genre non mec je veux pas te pécho#mais ça fera un truc à raconter aux copains#par contre le verre de cet aprem......#kinda wish it was a date#BUT I DON'T KNOW#ANYWAYS#i'm gonna go cry in the bathroom
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Crying bc I want new Spiderverse
#I need more holes man#I need to see him silly goofy tearing someone to shreds#I need a ‘hey this is kind of fucked up? You can’t kill my nemesis dude he’s like 14’ from the Spot> Miguel#AUX
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do you ever feel like you're trapped inside of a simulation and that everyone is watching you so whenever you're alone you scream as loudly as you can so they might let you out but they never do and so you're essentially stuck here forever or. is that just me
#random thoughts#help me i don't know what emotions are. colors? we have colors. colors can be emotions#i can't close my eyes when i'm alone anymore because i don't know what they'll do to me. /srs or /j? not sure anymore#spiraling? spiraling#this isn't a vent i'm just very confused? wow i can't believe it. i'm? alive? am i? i need confirmation#i don't feel real half the time! more than that actually. i feel like. a camera#but when there is no-one to photograph where does the camera go? when i am alone i do not exist#i become nothing. hello there? can you see me? hello? hi?#look at us. so far away. with tears in my eyes i look up and there is a ceiling. take me back i can't do this#where are you? where am i? where will we be? i'm falling over and falling apart#they've stolen my organs and my baby teeth and donated them to someone who needs them more. please#donnez aux enfants ma couronne faite en papier. je souhaite qu'ils ne la déchiront pas
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I do not understand why wireless headphones are so popular
#like yeah i don't get tangled but god at what cost#i don't know what's wrong with me I'm not a violent person but i really want to stomp on my wireless headphones#because they keep saying battery low to me! shut up! just do a little beep!#like why do we need yet another thing to charge and eat up device battery life#i play music through an aux cord in my car and I'm not changing that anytime soon#isabel.tex#anyway just forgot amazon exists and probably has cheaper shipping and paid $12 shipping to replace my wired earbuds#which got stolen with my work bag#which side note ???? why did someone need half empty bottles of Gatorade that desperately
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everyone in the tags is saying it's kayne and I agree but you have to consider: kayne is going to choose songs exclusively by how much it would piss the others off
If Malevolent characters went on a roadtrip together who do you think would be the dj?
#like- hes the guy that would only play never gonna give you up until they take the aux away from him#someone else chooses a song and midway through it shifts to never gonna give you up again#kayne is abandoned at a gas station#arthur is assigned the aux next bc noel is sleeping and oscar is driving and john doesn’t know enough music to dj#this could go one of two ways:#arthur plays soft piano song compilations and weeps#or he plays fun jazz#either way#it fades into a piano cover version of a rickroll#the recurring song in this doesn’t necessarily need to be never gonna give you up#i just picked it to get the vibes across#malevolent#malevolent podcast
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Inanimate Insanity dash simulator (pre ep 16) (i will do more of this if this goes well probably)
🪁 inanimateinsanityfan Follow
does anyone ever get so tired they start seeing spiders lol
💼 su1tcas3 Follow
me when i lay down and hallucinate the horrors lmfao
🪁 inanimateinsanityfan Follow
what
💼 su1tcas3 Follow
Oh so this is not a safe place suddenly
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🪁 inanimateinsanityfan Follow
as an unbiased outsider im cheering for them both ^^ im so excited for the finale!!!!!!!!!!!
#idk what i'll do when this ends tbh #like damn. #we'll cross that bridge when we get to it!!
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💡 brightestlight Follow
any couple can be gay if they are bisexual and their genders are weird enough
🪁 inanimateinsanityfan Follow
why did you post this directly after talking to me and test tube
🪁 inanimateinsanityfan Follow
lightbulb why did y
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🎤 mic-row-phoen Follow
when you want to ask someone about something but the trek is IMPOSSIBLE and you will DIE (hes downstairs setting up a party im just scared)
🍊 orange-got-juiced Follow
i am not giving you the aux to play green day at the party
🎤 mic-row-phoen Follow
:(
🍊 orange-got-juiced Follow
ok. two songs
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🎀 rain-bowz Follow
when a fake girl tryna act like me but im the only one there is
⚙️ rowbotted Follow
REAL!!!!!
🎀 rain-bowz Follow
who are you.
📄pageperrr Follow
hey didnt you die. or something
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🌮absolutleynot-taco Follow
hey anyone know where pickle is haha. anyone know his room number or amything lol like it would justs be fun to know,,, hagaha,,,, yeagh
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🏆awinners-trophy Follow
imagine using a run down website that hasnt been relevant in YEARS. you all need to get off and go touch some grass or something jfc
🔪sharpest-tool-inthe-shed Follow
you're literally using it?
🏆awinners-trophy Follow
kill yourself
#you used to be cool man
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🎈coldairballoon Follow
i drew some vent art about old stuff.. im better now!! im just letting off some steam haha
🏆awinners-trophy Follow
this is so cringe
🎈coldairballoon Follow
you're cringe.
🍊 orange-got-juiced Follow
trophy just ran to the bathroom sobbing
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🌽 official-meeple-ceo Follow
greetings tumbler! i an steve cobs, C.E.O of the meeple company. i am looking to get in contact with a mephone! specifically mephone 4. (model 4s) any help is greatly appreciated!
🖌️ brushedpaint Follow
go back to twitter vro 💀
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⚾ thegrandslammer Follow
trying a healthier outlook on life!! i'll tell yall how it goes!!
⚾ thegrandslammer Follow
failed
⚾ thegrandslammer Follow
failed
⚾ thegrandslammer Follow
failed
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🪁 inanimateinsanityfan Follow
i miss egg :( i wonder where the other one the aliens mentioned went. i hope it found a parent that loves it as much as i loved egg. i mean i wasnt the best parent but uh you get what i mean
🌽 official-meeple-ceo Follow
😜
🪁 inanimateinsanityfan Follow
???????
🪁 inanimateinsanityfan Follow
??????????what??????????
#why is steve cobs on tumblr get off
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🕯 innerflamed Follow
i need a boyfriend except he's not a boyfriend and is just some weird british guy i drag around with me everywhere
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🍀fourleafluck Follow
diversity win!! corrupt capitalist CEO of multimillion dollar company steve cobs is bisexual!
🌽 official-meeple-ceo Follow
who informed you of this.
🍀fourleafluck Follow
I WAS??? JOKING??????
#GUYS??? #STEVE COBS GAY ICON??? #HOLY SHIT #IM SCREAMING ITS HIS OFFICIAL ACCOUNT ITS NOT A GIMMIC #meeple
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💡 brightestlight Follow
as a member of the lgbt we do not accept steve cobs
💡 brightestlight Follow
even when he changes the meeple logo to a rainbow during pride month we dont accept him
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☯ ringinginthenewyear Follow
☯ ringinginthenewyear Follow
just to clarify yang posted this not me -yin
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🥒 pickledposting Follow
steve cobs being bi and accidentally admitting to it on tumblr was not on my 2024 bingo card ???????
🌽 official-meeple-ceo Follow
you'll be first.
🥒 pickledposting Follow
what
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#ii#inanimate insanity#inanimate insanity fanart#ii mephone4#ii 15#ii 16#ii 16 spoilers#inanimate insanity spoilers#inanimate insanity 2#fake dashboard#fake dash#steve cobs#ii fan#ii fantube#taco ii#yinyang ii#bow ii#ii suitcase
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"cheater!" ☆ enha hyungs
☆ non-idol! bf! enhypen hyungs x fem! reader ☆ summary: that one time you mentioned another guy's name, and he gets jealous (and he's dumb). ☆ genre: fluff, humor, dumb dumb boys, very minor angst/hurt/comfort in jay's part, cross between short scenarios and bullet points ☆ warning(s)? mentions of cheating obv, misunderstandings, ☆ not edited lolz also if ur @/archlstarvlle get off my dick again and stop plagiarizing me (and other authors bruh)
heeseung ☆
poor guy
you and him were going to a party later
and you were planning on putting ribbons in your hair
except you didn't have ribbons!
time to go to your nearest craft store: michael's.
"Baaaabe," you whined, prying Heeseung's grabby hands away from you. "I need to go."
Heeseung kept his arms wrapped around you, pressing his cheeks into your back. He threw his leg around yours, pulling you ever closer to him.
"Nooooo," he drawled, and you could feel his lips forming a little pout. You were just so warm and soft and comfortable. "Stay."
You chuckled at his childishness. You needed to go buy ribbons for later, since you ran out of them.
"Baby," you pecked his forehead, trying to shake yourself free of your clingy boyfriend. "I need to go to Michael's."
You felt Heeseung's body go frigid for a moment, before his arms loosened altogether around you, allowing you to escape his grip.
When you pulled away, while you continued to happily chirp about whatever was on your mind to your boyfriend, your words fell upon deaf ears.
Heeseung pulled his bottom lip between his teeth, chewing on it pensively.
heeseung was actually going insane
WHO IS MICHAEL??? AND WHY ARE YOU GOING TO HIM??
heeseung swears he's never heard you talk of someone named michael, let alone a friend named michael
how could you drop the name of some OTHER MAN so casually???
and the nail in the coffin was what you said next
"Michael's has some pretty cool things," you chatted, your back turned to your boyfriend as you fixed your lip gloss. "So, let me know if you need anything from there.
michael... cool... things....
if heeseung wasn't already fighting for his life, he was now fighting a million wars at once.
you told heeseung that he was cool and handsome and cute and all the words in the dictionary all the time.... and you made sure to let him know that your words were exclusive to him
so for you to say that SOME RANDOM DUDE NAMED MICHAEL WAS COOL?????
"I don't think you've ever been to Michael's, so I think—"
Heeseung abruptly stood up from the bed that he was lying in, in such a sudden and dramatic way that you snapped your head over to him, as he was quite loud with it.
There your tall boyfriend stood, completely still, with a deep frown on his face.
"Babe, are you okay—"
"I'm going with you," Heeseung announced, his voice filled with such a passion and vigor that it nearly shook. He looked so indignant and solemn, you almost felt worried. With finger air-quotes, he said with a subtle eye-roll, "I will go with you to this 'Michaels.' "
You blinked at him obliviously, before a smile grew on your face. You didn't know that Heeseung was so curious about the local craft store called Michael's, but you were not going to question it.
"Okay!"
heeseung was just WAITING
he let you take the wheel and while he sat in your passenger's seat he was rubbing his knuckles, WAITING TO THROW A FIST AT THIS MICHAEL GUY
would a black eye suffice? or maybe a broken nose....
he glanced over at you
you were just humming to yourself to the music (you let heeseung take the aux)
sure you looked so cute and innocent right now... BUT HOW??? HOW COULD YOU BE SO CASUAL ABT IT???
heeseung was expecting for you to pull up to a neighborhood, or an apartment complex, ready to feel his entire world crash down before his feet as some guy named michael emerged from the doorway
his heart plummeted at the thought of this 'michael' pulling you in for a hug, with you greeting him back brightly
no!!!! he couldn't let michael win!!!
you were his!!
.
.
.
except, you simply pulled up to a parking lot
to a massive store, with white walls and a giant brown sign
reading
michael's craft store
Heeseung flopped over in relief.
"Hee...!"
jay ☆
i think at this point in time you and jay aren't DATING dating, but definitely an exclusive pair that's BASICALLY dating
all your friends know about him and you report to them daily about him (theyre tired)
except
before you and jay became an actual pair
you used to call him a code name with your friends
the code name in question?
hamilton
named after your friend's hamilton beach flexcut cordless can opener, aka the first thing that you saw when you were coming up with a code name
Your heart was pounding in your chest.
Today, you and Jay decided to have a study session in the library. Although you knew that he'd be true to his word and would actually help you study, you hoped that the two of you could do something more.
Maybe he'd put his hand on your thigh, or maybe you'd have the opportunity to cut him off with a kiss. Just the thought made your stomach do flips.
As you waited at the library table, with your heart in your hands, your phone rang. It was your friends. Noticing the dirty looks for such an obnoxious ringtone, you stepped out the library to take the call.
meanwhile jay was pretty much shaking with each step he took to the campus library
an entire two hours with you? you, who needed his help really badly? you, who he wanted to kiss so badly? yes please!!!
boy was he excited
but as he rounded the corner to the library.............
he spotted you..... on the phone with someone.....
"Hamilton is so handsome!" he heard you squeal into your phone, and Jay's heart stopped. "I hope Hamilton comes soon, so that I can kiss him."
ham...il...ton
who is that....
jay knew that you and him weren't officially dating but he didn't expect you to do him dirty like that :(
as you continuted to giggle and coo about this hamilton guy, jay couldn't help but feel his heart ache
he really thought you were the one :(
except he was so caught up in his thoughts that jay tripped over his feet, making you whip your head around to him
Your expression was horrified, which only only confirmed his worst fears. Still, you stepped toward him, your face painted with embarrassment.
"Oh, hi Jay," you said bashfully, unable to meet his gaze.
Jay, even when he was hurt, didn't have it in him to be rude to you. He wanted to run away (and cry), but the way you gave him a small, sheepish grin made his heart flutter.
He planned to sit through this session, and excuse himself after 30 minutes. Keep the relationship civil, he thought.
on your end
you were mortified!!!
did jay just hear you talk about him to your friends?
although you had a code name for him, it wasn't like what you said was completely discreet
you dropped pretty obvious context clues that pointed to who hamilton was
things like "i love hamilton's heart-shaped birthmark on his neck, do you think he'll let me touch it?" and "i hope hamilton takes me out on a date after today's study session"
you were embarrassed
and it didn't help that jay was being quieter than usual... did he think you were weird?
but to jay, that embarrassment translated as the shame of being caught
the entire study session thus far, you didn't even meet his gaze, always looking away
Jay was hurt. Really hurt.
By the way you were acting, he was hoping for an apology, or some quick explanation, even if it was short and half-assed. At least you could've tried. But you said nothing.
Jay himself had questions that he wanted to be answered: how long has this been going on, if you were lying when you told him that you loved him, etc.
His lips moved faster than his mind could catch.
"So, who's Hamilton?" he blurted.
shit shit shit
he KNOWS RIGHT?
HE KNOWS THAT HE'S HAMILTON
RIGHT???????
you felt your neck and cheeks heating up
and by the way he looked solemn, you were sure he was mad at you
You froze, before all of your words spilled out of your mouth.
"Oh my god, Jay, I'm so sorry. You must be feeling so creeped out and disgusted with me and—"
from your body language to the panic in your expression
jay thought that his suspicions were confirmed
the moment that you began speaking he was ready to break down sobbing
but your next words made him stop
"— And I know that you think I'm weird for using a code name as stupid as 'Hamilton' for you, and I'm so sorry for that, but—"
wait a minute............
code name
hamilton
for him
.
.
.
"Wait, I'm Hamilton?!" Jay cut you off, his face pinching.
You let out a weird sound, an awkward expression spreading across your features.
"I-I mean, yeah..." you hid your face in your hands, "Ughhhh, I'm so sorry, that's so weir— Jay?!"
Jay was slumped over the table in relief, his face buried in his arms. He let out a loud groan, before lifting his head to look up at you. You couldn't help but notice the little glassy sheen in his eyes, almost like he was going to cry.
"Jay..."
He quickly wiped the little tears forming in his eyes away, sniffling before sitting up completely, averting his gaze from you.
"It's nothing," he murmured.
He was relieved. No, beyond relieved. He was ecstatic that this entire time you were talking about him. He couldn't believe that he would think of you in such a poor light.
He kept his eyes away from you, too shy and embarrassed to look you in the eye.
You poked him, and he didn't respond, so you poked him again.
"Jay."
"Hm?"
"Do you think I'm weird?"
He snapped his head over to you.
"What? No, of course not!"
You frowned. "Then why aren't you talking to me?"
Jay sucked in a sharp breath. "It's nothing."
He finally met your gaze, his lips helplessly cracking into a grin just as the sight of you perplexed expression.
He clutched your chin, tilting it so that you would look at him. He leaned in to give your lips a peck.
"I promise, it's nothing, Baby."
You leaned into him, giving him a peck, too.
"Okay," you nodded, biting back the giddy, lovesick grin that fought its way onto your face.
jake ☆
one day youre hanging out w your friends
and ygs go to a dog cafe
so cute!!
and theres this one dog that's just practically CALLING FOR YOU
he's just this little maltese named enzo and he's so cute
the two of you cuddling on the floor, giving him good head rubs and laughing as he licks you
you love enzo the maltese!
anyways so you take pictures ofc and post it to your private instagram
Jake narrowed his eyes at his phone.
He was deep.
Deep in the goddamn trenches.
He was excited to see the cute pictures you took of your day out with your friends. When you said that you were going to a dog cafe, Jake was so ready to use a picture of you and a pup (two of his favorite things) as his new phone wallpaper.
But that wasn't going to happen.
Because all of a sudden, his Wi-Fi decided to be poor all of a sudden.
Although he got the notification that you posted something new on Instagram, when he checked your account, none of you pictures loaded. All he could see was a black loading square, and the caption to the post.
at first jake was like
"its ok i can wait" even though he REALLLLYYY wanted to see your pictures
he couldn't see any of the pictures you posted, but he could still see the caption
and that's what caught his eye
you liked to have an individual explanation for each picture in the post, so your caption read as follows:
pic 1: me and enzo
pic 2: enzo kissing me
pic 3: holding enzo's hand
pic 4: enzo and me cuddling
and that's when jake stopped reading
Jake was going to start losing hair, because who was Enzo? And why was he kissing you? And cuddling with you?
He'd never heard of an Enzo. Poor guy, Jake kept refreshing your account in the hopes that your pictures would load, so that he could see this Enzo guy face-to-face. But that didn't happen.
It didn't help that your Instagram notes read, "enzo <3."
seriously
WHO IS ENZO
jake paced back and forth around his apartment, trying to scroll back in his memory for anyone named enzo
but alas
no one
all he knew was that whoever enzo was, he was about to get a broken jaw
a little frown formed on his face, as he rubbed his knuckles
were you going to leave him from this enzo person?
was enzo better than him?
how come jake never heard of an enzo before?
Jake's head perked up the moment his apartment door cracked open, revealing you. He rushed straight to you, expecting to hear you say, "I'm breaking up with you for another man named Enzo," completely taken aback when you simply threw your arms around him.
"Hi, Jakey!" you simply exclaimed, holding him tight.
Jake stood still, eyeing you for a moment.
Were you not going to break up with him on the spot?
The next thing he knew, Jake was pulled into his room, thrown on his bed, and cuddled up against you.
"I'm so tired," you breathe, snuggling your face against his chest. "I couldn't wait to get home to you."
Jake blinked.
"T-Tell me about your day," he gulped.
and you happily did so
animately, you told all about your day
what foods you tried, what you and your friends did, how much fun you had
you even told him about a cute little maltese that you couldn't remember the name of at the dog cafe...
and at last
no mention of enzo
"How's Enzo?"
Jake didn't know why he asked that, but when he did, you perked up.
"Oh!" you clapped your hands. "That's his name!"
"Wh-Who's name?"
You laughed. "The maltese at the dog cafe! His name was Enzo— He was just the cutest little thing!"
Enzo is a... dog?
Jake suddenly hoisted the two of you up, so that you were laying flat on your back. He plopped his face onto your chest, putting your hand in his hair.
"I don't like Enzo," Jake murmured against your chest. You chuckled, playing with his hair slowly.
"You didn't like the pictures of me and Enzo?"
"No," Jake shook his head, his hair cutely bouncing with each movement. "I don't like a dog trying to take my girl."
You laughed, calling your boyfriend silly, but completely oblivious to the fact that Jake was now making plans to go to that dog cafe to have a man-to-man talk with a dog.
sunghoon ☆
a man of a few words, gotta love it
this is very niche but you have a habit of making very obscure and dumb and completely nonsensical nicknames for people
like jake becomes jacobsongerald and jay becomes jameslynner the third
one day you and sunghoon are just having a lazy day
It's a quiet morning. Slivers of sunlight are peeking from the kitchen blinds, while birds chirp their hearts out outside.
While you look through the fridge, Sunghoon sits at the kitchen table, notepad and pen in hand.
"Do we need eggs?" he asked.
You glanced down at the egg compartment. "No, but I think we're running out of butter soon."
Sunghoon nodded, jotting down 'butter' on the notepad.
Every week or so, you and Sunghoon liked to have a morning like this, where you went over your grocery list.
sunghoon loved mornings like this
seeing you in your cute pajamas, your raspy morning voice bouncing off the walls as you listed to him what the two of you needed to buy for the week
the way the sunlight bounced off of you just made you look so ethereal, in your early morning glory
"Sungerson, can you write down milk?"
Sunghoon's face contorted immediately.
pardon....
WHO???
sunghoon couldn't tell if he was appalled because you just called him the WRONG NAME or because 'sungerson' is actually such a ridiculous name
WHO IS SUNGERSON THAT'S SO STUPID OMG
wait a minute....
sunghoon's heard horror stories like this before
where if your significant other accidentally calls you by another name, it's a sign that they're seeing someone else
"Oh, and can you add canola oil to the list?" you asked, not really checking to see if he was writing it down due to your trust in him. But when you didn't hear any pen scribbles, you turned over your shoulder. "Sunghoon?"
see?
you called him sunghoon just then
and this entire morning you'd called him sunghoon
but then you call him a different name out of no where and act like nothing happened
you weren't seeing someone else... right?
like...... you wouldn't do that to him
the way you acted like nothing happened made sunghoon think that you probably didn't notice your slip-up
"Sungerson?"
You looked confused, your brows furrowing. "What?"
Sunghoon looked up to meet your gaze. "You called me Sungerson. Who is that?"
"Oh." You shrugged. "It's just one of those dumb nicknames that I make up for people."
"Okay."
that made sense
completely
he shouldn't have doubted you
"Sunghoon, what are you pouting about?"
okay, so maybe the thought of you with someone else made him upset
even if you weren't
and reassured him that you weren't
You huffed, shutting the fridge door before coming over to wear Sunghoon sat at the kitchen table. You grabbed his head, leaning down to give his forehead a kiss.
Sunghoon whined, taking your arm as you pulled away from him. He leaned back in his seat, patting his lap for you to sit. When you did, Sunghoon immediately pushed his face into the crook of your neck, whining again.
"What is it, you big baby?"
"You're mine, right?"
You blinked. It wasn't every day that Sunghoon was clingy like this.
You chuckled, flicking his forehead.
"Of course," you said.
"Okay," Sunghoon let his eyelids fall shut, taking a deep breath before sinking into your warmth. "That's good."
#enhypen#enhypen x reader#enhypen fluff#enhypen imagines#enhypen fic#heeseung#heeseung fluff#heeseung imagines#heeseung x reader#lee heeseung#heeseung enhypen#jay enhypen x reader#park jongseong fluff#enhypen jay#jay x reader#jay fluff#jay enhypen#park jongseong#park jay#jongseong#jake enhypen#jake sim x reader#jake sim imagine#jake fluff#jake sim#jake sim fluff#sunghoon fluff#sunghoon x reader#sunghoon imagines#sunghoon enhypen
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what if like you did a CC x reader fic with Good luck, babe! And like reader is like Caitlins gay awakening and stuff…
Good Luck, Babe! . CC
pairing: caitlin clark x reader
synopsis: Good luck, babe! by Chappell roan
A/N: i’m aware that in a good chunk of my cc fics that it starts with reader and cait “just hooking up” or something like that, so i swear this will be the last time i do that 😭😭
It's fine, it's cool
You can say that we are nothing, but you know the truth
the sun peaked through your linen curtains, making your eyes flutter open. you glanced over at your phone, 8:30, and over to the left side of your bed where she laid. she was sleeping peacefully, sheets pulled up to her collarbone, hair spewed in different directions against one of your pillows. she looked so beautiful like this. having her naked, in your bed, was truly a blessed sight to see so you cherished it whenever you could.
as she snored softly, still deep in a dream, you turned over on your side to look at her properly. you let your fingers run across the prominence of her collarbone, toying with the hem of your sheets that hid the rest of her gorgeous body. you watched as her lips parted with each breathe, how her nose twitched, and how her faint freckles danced across her cheeks. she was a sight for sore eyes.
not much later, her eyes fluttered just like yours had moments ago, yawning as she stretched for the first time this morning. she looked over, noticing you had been staring for who knows how long.
“take a picture, it’ll last longer” she laughed, leaning over and kissing your forehead before shuffling out of bed and starting to get dressed.
“no picture could beat the real thing” you grinned back. she looked over, smiling back at you, grabbing her keys.
“hey i gotta go, connor’s got this weird brunch thing that he needs me for, but um” she made her way to the door “i’ll text you”
“wait!” you stopped her before she could leave. she let you of the handle to your bedroom and turned to face you, giving you full attention. suddenly you felt vulnerable, still naked and barely covered by your sheets, laid right in front of her “would you want to grab dinner sometime this week? i know we meet up on fridays, but…i don’t know i thought it’d be nice to see you sooner”
“um…yea…you know i’ll have to text you or something” she shuffled around, avoiding eye contact. “it’s just that me and connor…he’s still my boyfriend…”
you fought the urge to roll your eyes “yea, yea i know”
“well i can’t just go out with you all the time like we’re girlfriends. me and connor are still together”
“even if you’re in my bed every weekend?” you scoffed “whatever, caitlin, i get it”
she just stared at you, not wanting to pick a fight. instead she opted for a sigh and left your apartment, leaving you alone and wanting.
you wished she didn’t have to pretend. you wished the two of you ended up differently.
And guess I'm the fool
With her arms out like an angel through the car sunroof
you shouldn’t have let yourself get this attached to someone you knew you’d never be able to have. you intentionally put yourself in situations with caitlin, hoping that, in some magical fantasy in your head, she’d fall for you. but you knew her. you knew about connor and you knew that being ‘gay’ was no where near something she was willing to accept, wether you were in the picture or not.
you found yourself constantly thinking back on all the times you’d realized that you were in love other her.
when she fell asleep on your shoulder during a movie night with your mutual friends.
when you and caitlin decided to road trip to tennessee to visit a close friend who was graduating. you let her have the aux and watched as she hung out the window. sunset illuminating her face, wind rushing through her long hair, singing the lyrics completely wrong but she didn’t care. she was the sun itself, in your eyes.
when she came to your crying for the first time, sobbing about something connor had done. how she so angry at him and needed a friend to spend the night with.
when she came over a second time, completely distraught again. something about how she didn’t feel right, that her head was messing with her. she was having thoughts. thoughts about you, about women, and that she was having a crisis about her sexuality.
when she came over a third and fourth and however many amount of times, when she opened up about those thoughts with you. asking you if you would help her. asked if you would take her to bed, to relive some of her thoughts. make her feel good, worship her like connor could never do.
but your crush never went past that. taking her to bed and waking up with her already gone most mornings, shooting you a ‘thank you’ text and saying she’d see you next friday.
I don't wanna call it off
But you don't wanna call it love
You only wanna be the one that I call baby
“caitlin, can i talk to you for a second” you asked, moving her hands away from the waistband of your shorts.
“yea, baby” she said, calling you that like she didn’t know it destroyed you on the inside to hear it “what’s up?”
you bit your lip, nervous to pester her with this again, but you don’t think you can handle it much longer. this secret sleeping around situation was taking a toll on you and you don’t want to be waiting around for someone that will never come.
“i love the time i get with you so so much” you began “but i don’t think i can keep doing this”
“i’m sorry, what?”
“i just don’t feel like being something you keep on the side. or like being a secret for that matter. i’ve had feelings for you for a very long time and it’s very clear that you don’t feel the same, so i think we need to call this off if that’s the case.”
“oh my- are you serious?” she furrowed her eyebrows, voice raising “i don’t get the privilege to just come out and tell everyone i like girls, YN. and regardless, like i’ve told you countless times, me and connor are still together”
“but why, caitlin?” you matched her tone “do you even love the guy? cause last time i checked, you don’t even spend time with him anymore. why? cause you’re always here with me playing fucking house! i don’t care if you don’t want to come publicly out, but…but i don’t think it’s fair that you treat me as some play thing for when you want to play pretend!”
she tugged at her hair in annoyance “jesus fucking christ, YN. whatever this is between me and you…it’s not love, alright? i thought you wanted this?! you’ve been more than willing to fuck me every time. so i’m not really understanding why you’re so upset!”
you felt sick, like you were genuinely going to puke. she was a mess and you’re not going to be her experiment for when she’s having trouble with her sexuality.
“just fucking leave, clark” you shook your head “i’m not doing this with you anymore. come back when you’re ready to figure yourself out.”
You can kiss a hundred boys in bars
Shoot another shot, try to stop the feeling
after that night, caitlin was a disaster. she was choosing to ignore what you said; about being in love, about connor, about everything. just because you fucked on the side didn’t mean she was gay…right?
she hadn’t been herself at all. she was screwing up at practices, forgetting about events and team dinners she needed to attend. she was starting to fall behind in classes, every part of her life was crumbling.
even when she laid in bed, inched over to the very edge of the mattress, connor snoring obnoxiously loud from the other end, she couldn’t stop thinking about the last time she saw you. things were never right with connor, she had always known that subconsciously, but it was becoming very clear how loveless this relationship truly was. but she brushed it off, tricking her mind into thinking that this was how things were meant to be.
she had been with men all her life, taught that this was what girls were supposed to do. so to imagine a life in which she ended up with you was just some silly dream that was meant to stay only as an unattainable desire.
for the nights that she couldn’t sleep, she would spend in the gym practicing, trying to shake off the truth that gnawed at the back of her head endlessly. this was good, she thought, basketball always made her feel better. it was her safe place. here she could leave her worries at the door and find comfort in the game, not even thinking about you.
but no matter how many shots she took, how many baskets she made, no matter how many drills she ran to make herself forget, she found herself coming back to the thought of you.
You can say it's just the way you are
Make a new excuse, another stupid reason
after about a month without you, caitlin had started to realize how much she was fucking up.
“caitlin, are you good?” kate had approached her after practice one day “you’ve been way off. and no offense, but your shots have been awful. what’s going on?”
“nothing” she plastered a fake grin on her face “nothing really, just been having a rough patch with connor, but we’re chill. just gotta lock in” she tried to joke.
kate laughed along, but she knew caitlin too well. there was definitely something up with her. but again, knowing caitlin, she needed to let her deal with it on her own.
caitlin had numerous people approach her about this. about her behavior and how she seemed to be struggling recently. but she brushed it off every single time, probably giving a dozen different excuses as to why she was acting in such a manner. she hoped that she would eventually believe them herself.
Good luck, babe!
You'd have to stop the world just to stop the feeling
you truly hoped that she was doing ok. you hadn’t heard from her in quite some time, not bothering to reach out to her in fear that you’d poke the bear and make it worse. all you wanted was for her to realize what she truly felt. wether it be in love with you or that she had never loved connor at all the begin with, it didn’t matter, you just wanted her to finally see how beautiful life was when someone found their true self.
you had been in her position before: unforgiving parents, no one to trust, you’d even had the remorseless religion to add on to all of the reasons why you felt like you couldn’t be yourself. and you knew what i took to get to where you are now.
caitlin believed that most things could be fixed by either ignoring it, or fixing it right away and never looking back. but this wouldn’t be the case now, you already knew, she would have to come to terms with it eventually.
And when you wake up next to him in the middle of the night
With your head in your hands, you're nothing more than his wife
caitlin shot up out of bed, gasping for air, clawing at the sheets that seemed to be glued to her skin. another nightmare, she’d been having those recently. she looked over, squinting her eyes in the dark, making sure connor was still asleep. letting a sigh of relief go when she realized he was out cold.
her hands found their way to her hair, hands scratching at her scalp, elbows balanced on her knees. she was losing her god damn mind. she couldn’t stand him, she no longer held love for connor (not there was any in the beginning). with each passing day that she had spent with him, she found that her heart beat more and more for you each time.
And when you think about me, all of those years ago
You're standing face to face with "I told you so"
the idea of loving you was tormenting her every single day for the last few months. you were the reason she woke up every morning, the reason she worked so hard to win each game, and the reason she woke up the next morning and dumped connor. she was finally able to see clearly now, finally able to understand that she was madly fucking in love with you.
she realized that no matter how many times she fought the feeling or no matter how many times she tried to convince herself otherwise, that you were the one thing she breathed and lived for.
You know I hate to say it, I told you so
she didn’t even know what she was doing or what she was going to say, but she found herself making her way out of her apartment and into her car. she had to see you and tell you how wrong she was this whole time. that she was so in love with you that her body shook with it.
her heart pounded as she turned onto your street, immediately singling out your building and noticing your apartment lights were still on. her whole body must’ve been shaking with the way that she could barely put the car in park and unbuckle her seat belt. but she managed to make it up every flight of stairs and to your door where the shiny gold ‘103’ sat, practically antagonizing her.
her mind was on autopilot, not even realizing she had already knocked three times until she heard your footsteps approach the door. and suddenly there you were in all your glory, as beautiful as ever.
you were dressed in your comfy clothes, fuzzy cow slippers on your feet, hair messed up, and your necklace backwards. but she thought you were the most gorgeous woman she had ever seen.
“caitlin?” you rubbed your eyes in astonishment “what-um-what are you doing here?”
“hi” she breathed “i know it’s late, im sorry, really. but i just need to see you”
“caitlin i don’t want to do this again. it’s been months and you show up at more door suddenly at what? 12:40 in the morning? i thought i told you i was done with the whole charade.” you stated firmly, about to shut the door on her, but she wedged her foot between the space of the door before you could close it.
“no, no. it’s not…it’s not like that. i meant that i need to come clean to you”
still skeptical, you let her in, watching as she politely hung up her jacket. you ushered her to the couch, grabbing her a glass of water and preparing yourself for whatever she was about to confess.
“when you ended things with me,” she broke the silence “i thought i’d eventually get over it because i didn’t think what we had was all that serious. i was scared to admit that i didn’t love connor…and most importantly that…that i like girls.”
you looked at her solemnly, you knew how hard this was for her.
“and i guess is till don’t know exactly what i am, but…but what i do know is that i took you for granted and i treated you unfairly. you didn’t deserve any of it and for that i apologize”
“hey it’s…it’s ok now. yea i was upset with how things were going, but i’m proud of you now that you’ve recognized what you’ve done and you’re working on yourself.” you tried to reassure her.
“i really am trying” she stated “because i want to. for you.”
you watched as her eyes twinkled under the glow of your lamp, tears rimming her lash line. you noticed the way her nose twitched like how it did that one morning she woke up in your bed. and how she looked just as flawless as she did when you had met her.
“YN, im in love with you.” she blurted “i know i have no right to come here and say that. especially after i completely disregarded your feelings for me. i don’t expect you to take me back and try and love me again, but i just need to you to know that i have spent every day regretting what i’ve done”
there was another heavy silence again, filling the room instantly, encapsulating that words that rolled off of her tongue. you were honestly at a lost for words. of course you were still in love her, you never stopped, but now things were real. you were watching your deepest dreams unravel to you right in front of your eyes.
“You know…I hate to say it but” you said, watching as caitlin braced herself for what she assumed was rejection “…I told you so” you couldn’t hold back your grin, immediately falling into playful laughter as you scooted closer to her on the couch.
“i’m in love with you too” you finally admitted out loud for the first time in months.
her shoulders finally relaxed, exhaling after holding her breathe waiting for your response. she laughed with you, just glad to here you say those words.
“don’t scare me like that” she said, face inching slowing towards you “i don’t think i would’ve been able to handle the rejection”
“don’t worry, i don’t think i ever could’ve stopped loving you if i tried” you whispered, finally closing the gap between you. you’d kissed her many times before, but this would be the first kiss that actually mattered. “but i really did tell you so” 
༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶
A/N: yayyy!! happy ending!! <3
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when the sun hits - lando norris - oneshot
wc: 713
warnings: 18+, exhibitionism/“public” sex, dirty talk, p in v, tiny bit of fingering, lando is a slut, slightly possessive lando. TW: alex sucking at dialogue
its a breezy night in Monaco, you’re in the passenger seat of your boyfriends McLaren. playing on aux is some song by slowdive, but as you pay more attention to all of the details, you get lost in reality. the beauty of the setting sun hitting lando’s face, the way that the song playing is the perfect one for this moment as it capsules the sheer rawness of the moment.
“Lando, have i told you that you’re beautiful?”
“My love, you’re the beautiful one here”
“Seriously lando, you’re fucking gorgeous”
lando doesn’t say anything after that, just gives you a warm smile and a slight chuckle. he’s had his right hand on your thigh but you haven’t noticed how its been inching closer and closer to your spot.
“pay attention to the road, baby” lando rolls his eyes at this, you know he’s the best person to be driven by but you love teasing him about innocent things. “id rather pay attention to how wet you’re getting for me right now.” lando says, making you gasp and blush at the sudden profoundness lando gives you.
next thing you know, lando has pulled up into some eerily empty parking garage, taking his time to get to the highest level available. the view it gives is perfect, not because of the sunset, but because of the glow its been putting on lando’s face, the orange glow making all of his features brighten, his eyes like daggers with the way they’re making your heart beat at a million times per hour.
“Y/n, have i told you that you’re beautiful” lando says with a sudden lustful look in his eyes and a warm smile.
“Hah, no” you chuckle, “Well, you’re beautiful” lando says before leaning in for a deep kiss. the kiss is almost magical, the warm & fresh taste of landos tougne. you could feed off of him forever. quickly he opens his door and makes his way to yours, opening it, he demands you to get out and bend over the car.
“but lando what if someone sees us-“
“let them. i want the world to know how fucking hot you look with my cock in you, how good you are for me.” you whine out his name as he guides you by the hips and bends you over the hood of his McLaren, clean enough that you can see your reflection and god does lando look fucking immaculate when he’s on you. he pulls down your sweats, along with your underwear as he instructs you to suck on his fingers, doing so, you let out a sultry moan as you lap his finger pads with your saliva. pulling his fingers away, he slips them into your soaking cunt. you’re moaning and whining as he digs around, looking for that spot that he knows will make you-
“Lando!! ohbmy god- lando.. pleasse” you yelp as he grazes along your gspot. “you like that, yeah?” lando grunts into your ear, your head being pulled up by the firm grasp in your hair that he has. “y-yes lando- fuckk, please fuck me lando, i need your co-“ lando with no hesitation shoves his throbbing cock into your pussy. he doesn’t wait to let you get suited before he’s rapidly thrusting into you, its sloppy and desperate. as if he might die if he doesn’t bury his cum into your cunt. “lando please i’m getting close baby-“ “i know baby i know i can feel your pussy clenching on me” lando does his best to speed up his thrusts as he cant control where his hands go, he’s grabbing, pinching, squeezing. getting whatever he can almost like he’s drunk on your sex. his hand makes his way under you and towards your clit, with steady circular motions he guides you through your orgasm, following you soon after, ensuring every crevice of your cunt is filled with his load.
sitting back in the car, the silence is comfortable but you must ask “So what made you want to do that?”
“Sweet thing, i watch the way you look at me. It’s obvious when you want it” he says warmly. he starts the car, slowly making his way out of the parking garage and driving the both of you home.
a/n: HERES THE LANDO SMUT I PROMISED, again my dialogue is shit i know i know, im trying. thank you for all the support on RHTY❤️ likes, comments & reblogs always appreciated.
this was made for the lovely addy - @molten-m122 , thank you for always being you 🩷 (sorry it sucks😔)
#f1#formula 1#formula one#mclaren#lando norris#ln4#lando norris x you#lando norris smut#lando norris imagine#ln4 smut#ln4 imagine#ln4 x reader#ln4 one shot#lando norris one shot#kimis-gloves#mctwinks#twinklaren#f1 smut#f1 rpf#landoscar
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✦Incorrect C.o.D Quotes, AGAIN AGAIN✦
Ghost: Release me, woman. Fem!Y/N: …. *hugs him tighter* :3 Ghost, scared of intimacy: UNHAND ME!- -- (Comedic Death Mention) Someone: I shot you six times hOW ARE YOU ALIVE?! Y/N: Fool! The only one that’s gonna knock me off is ME! Price: *PANICKING*
-- Gaz: What did you do? Soap: ….suckdickonaccident Gaz: What? Soap: Sucked dick on accident! Gaz: HOW THE FUCK DO YOU SU-
-- Gaz: Here. We’ll put your phone on the aux- Y/N: NO DON’T- Speakers on full volume: FUCKFUCKFUCKMEUPANDCUTCUTCU- Price: JESUS BLOODY CHRIST *shuts off radio* Soap: *scratching the inside of his ear* Steamin’ Jesus- Y/N: I tried to warn you! Gaz: Who listens to Slipknot at 0900?! Ghost: *raises hand* Gaz: That’s- okay that’s fair. Soap: I’ve gone deaf. Y/N: You’re a bomb tech, it was gonna happen eventually. Soap: *middle finger* Price: *disappointed sigh* It’s too early for this-
-- (This one’s kinda sad but I couldn't stop thinkin' bout it-) Alejandro: You used to be nice…or did you never used to be? Valeria: … Alejandro: Oh god…maybe you never used to be…
-- Not a quote but if any of you have heard that audio that’s the names of the Princes of Hell overlayed on Funky Town, please imagine Soap & Y/N dancing to the Funky Town portion while Ghost sits there menacingly. Thank you.
-- (Depression joke) Y/N: Ahaaaa I’m soooo unwell. Price: Go to the psyche- Y/N: Ya know what it never was? That serious. It was never that serious- Price: Get your ass back here- Y/N: NEVER!-
-- König: I’ll keep all my emotions right here, and then one day, I’ll die. Horangi: No-
-- (Valeria has no color here, I ran out) Valeria: *eye roll* I am not trying to seduce you. Y/N, bi panicking: …. Valeria, but now smug: Would you like me to seduce you? Y/N: *strained wheeze & squeaky* Already achieved ma’am- Gaz: *listening to a mic implanted on Y/N* God damnit dON’T LET YOUR MOMMY ISSUES RUIN THIS MISSION!
-- (These next two have mental health jokes in’em) Y/N, hyper cleaning the base: AHAHA, yes! I’m finally feeling bett- ah, wait. I’m manic, and I’m hyper cleaning everything, ✨as a diversion✨. Price: P s y c h e . Y/N: Jokes on you, old man. I already have meds for this! …might need to up them though they feel like they’ve stopped working. Price: When did you start to feel they weren’t working? Y/N: Like three months ago. Price: PSYCHE Y/N: ASKING THEM QUESTIONS ABOUT MEDS ARE SCAAAARRYYY Price: YOU KILL MEN ALMOST EVERYDAY Y/N: Fair point. (Take ya meds)
-- Price: I don’t understand you- Y/N: Good! Means you’re probably mentally well. Price: I- Gaz: We really need to like- specify when you’re joking and when you’re serious, you’re gonna give him a heart attack.
-- Gaz: …Hm. Price: You’ve been staring at me for the past six minutes, what is it?Gaz: I think you have a grey hair. Price: Y/N, speeding in: WHICH IS TOTALLY FINE, IT’S BARELY EVEN THERE AND EVEN IF YOU WERE GOING GREY IT’D LOOK FANTASTIC ON YOU. Price: …would it? Y/N: Absolutely! …*thumps Gaz in the back of the head* Gaz: Ow-Uh yeah! Yeah! Actually I don’t even think it’s there, just the lighting. Price: Hm…alright. Y/N: Mhm! *death glare* Gaz: *mouthing* I’msosorry-
-- (Will someone please notice that I write Ghost as "Simon" when he's with Soap and they're being soft? It's intentional-) Soap: I’m not really sure what I’d do if I lost you… Simon: I know what I’d do. Soap: What? Simon: I’d find you.
-- Soap: I got my ankles microwaved. Ghost: X-rayed. Soap: They took my blood away for science! Ghost: Cholesterol tests. Soap: Si had his sinuses…removed? Ghost: Looked at. Soap: Some guy looked at my penis, touched it. That was weird. Ghost, cleaning blood off a knife: That guy wasn’t even a doctor.
-- Medic!Y/N: You think killing is hard? Try healing something. That is hard, that requires patience. Alejandro, watching them bandage his hand: Hm… Medic!Y/N: You can break something in two seconds. *vaguely motions to Ghost, then Price, then at a necklace Alejandro wears that came from Valeria* But it can take forever to fix it. Alejandro: …aye…well said.
-- Gaz: *being annoying and singing a song for the 10,000th time* Price: KYLE! Gaz: I’m watchin’ my tone, dunana. I ain’t talkin’ back, no, why? Cause I’ma get thrown, dunana-
-- Graves: You know, Ghost, real talk bro, you never say nothin’ when you’re around us. Why is that? Ghost: Cause I don’t fucking like you guys.
-- Enemy: I’m gonna send you to God. Y/N: God? I’m insulted you think I’d end up in Heaven. I work hard for my sins, thank you very much. Ghost: We are hostages right now, can you please not-
-- Valeria: And guess who gets to be my little helper.~ Y/N: It’s me, I’m the helper… Valeria: That’s right, you sure are.~ Alejandro: Alright that’s enough! Valeria: What? You don’t believe in positive affirmation?
-- Rudy: Me gustan los perros. Alejandro: Me gustas… Rudy: ….hm. Me gusta un hombre en el ejército. Alejandro: Aye? Rudy: Mhm. Alejandro: *chuckles* Me gusta mi mejor amigo. Rudy: Me gustas.
(This was poorly translated but listen, I tried for the gays)
-- Price: You actually were telling the truth. Valeria: I do that quite a lot, you people are always surprised.
-- Laswell: Don’t pull any of those stunts like you did last time. Fem!Y/N: I made an offering. Laswell: You dropped a dead mouse into that poor man’s lap. Fem!Y/N: Yes! Like a cat. Laswell: You are not a cat! Fem:Y/N: No…tragically, I am a woman.
-- Ghost: Some people are simply…better than others. Graves: You really think you’re that much better than me? Ghost: Oh I think we both know the answer to that.
--
(Needing to fake a date for a mission) Y/N, on the phone: Laswell, I don’t need help with dating. I’ve been on loads of dates! Y/N: *turns and whispers to Gaz* I’ve literally been on one.
-- Enemy: Think you can answer questions without the usual level of sarcasm? Y/N: If you can ask them without the usual level of stupid. Enemy: Where’s your captain and why hasn’t anyone been able to contact him? Y/N: I dunno, I’ve been here, haven’t seen him in days. Enemy: Is he drinking again? Y/N: What do you mean again? He never had to stop. Enemy: But he did have to slow down, is he drinking like he used to? Y/N: Alright, how bout this? Next time I see him, I’ll give’im the field sobriety test, okay? We’ll do the alphabet, start with F & end with U.
-- Graves: And that’s why I personally, don’t agree with your opinion. Soap: Okay, counter point- Graves: Valid argument? Soap: No. Pipebomb!
-- Gaz: Y/N: Gaz: Y/N: Y/N: I’ma instigate. Gaz, lightly pulling them back: nnnnoooooooooo-
-- Y/N: Eeraaawr >:3 Gaz: What sound is that? Y/N: A dyianosaur Gaz: A what? Y/N: Dianoswaur. Gaz: Make the sound again. Y/N: Uurraawer Gaz: Oh you talkin’ bout them things from ✨Jerressi PerAHck✨ Y/N: AHAH! Ghost: I’m gonna lose it. Soap: Hush yer mouth, it’s cute. Lighten up ya big log.
-- Ghost: I think I’ve finally had enough. Y/N, getting his antidepressants: I think you’re full of shit.
-- Medic!Y/N: C’mon, stick with me, Ghost. Ghost: Might be time to follow my call si-OH FUCKING HELL WHY Medic!Y/N: You listen here you Fuckin’ bastard, I’m gonna love the absolute shit out of you until you never make a joke like that again. And then, if you still do it, I’ll have the team smother, smother, you in affection. And if you STILL don’t get it, THEN I’m gonna whoop your ass. Shut your perfect fucking mouth, you got that, soldier?! Ghost: ….since when did you get scary? Medic!Y/N: Adrenalin keeps people alive and sometimes we run out of epipens, had to substitute somehow.
-- Price: Now, sergent, what would you rather be? A lion or a panda? Soap: Captain, I’m me. Why would I want to be anything else? Price: I’m not sure you realize how psychologically healthy that is.
-- Ghost, pissed off: Sometimes I can’t stand you. Y/N, while walking away: Then kneel! And while you’re down there, occupy your mouth, you’d do better down there, QUIET, anyway!! Ghost: I-…… Soap: Oooooo…. Gaz: I- I-…they have no fear. None. Absolutely no survival instinct, no self preservation. None!
-- (Younger Y/N as in like…mid-late twenties. Also, this one is long. I might honestly make a lil oneshot with this one and I welcome anyone else to do the same) Y/N: John… Price: I know, I know. You love me. You’ve said it a thousand times and it should just stick, I just…can’t help but think about how you’re so… Y/N: *snort* Out of your league? Price: To put it bluntly. Y/N: Well, regardless of where I rank? I still love you. I’m going to love you for a long time, you’re stuck with me, ya sweethearted bastard. Price, fondly: Ah Dear, whatever will I do. Y/N: Yeaaaah. Besides! Even if I wasn’t completely and utterly, disgustingly, in love with you? …you are way too good of a sugar daddy to ditch. Price: Hah! Oh really? Why’s that? Y/N: Are you kidding?! Paid off house, paid off car, successful military captain, great manners, great dick, extremely attractive, good with kids, good cook, sexy voice. I could go on for awhile. Price: Oh now you’re just feedin’ my ego. Y/N: Yes, yes I am. Price: I’ll get cocky. Y/N: You’re sexy when you’re arrogant too, that doesn’t deter me. Price: *sigh* Far out of my league. Y/N: You’re a rank climber, I think you’ll keep up.
-- (NSFW but it's in a ha-ha funny way, based on a conversation I've had. Kink mentions) Soap: Look, I just...I need advice on how to spice it up in the bedroom. Y/N: Do you know how little that narrows it down? Gaz: I feel there are few options. Y/N: No there are a lot of options, it depends on your level of spice. I dunno your boundaries wit'cha man! Soap: I just need something! Y/N: THERE ARE A LOT OF THINGS! Get some handcuffs, grab a vibrator, TRY ANAL, I don't fucking know! Gaz: *chokes on drink* Soap: Okay, listen- Y/N: No, you listen. Rule of thumb with kinks? It's a mountain and there are three kinds of people on it. People who don't wanna climb, people who want to climb but choose not to, and people who stay climbing. You reach a level of kinkiness and you stay there. You can't go back down the mountain. Me, personally? I have chosen to stop climbing because I know I'll get worse. I'm choosing to stay on my part of the mountain. Where you wanna climb is up to you. Soap: Where do I climb then? Y/N: The beginner's trail is fuzzy handcuffs, orgasm control, and mirror sex. Soap: This is the weirdest advice I've ever gotten. Y/N: It's my specialty.
-- (Follow it up with an asexual joke) Graves: Are you fighting the urge to make out with me right now? Y/N: Not really, I'm really into this pizza though. Soap, in the back: Aw they burnt my fuckin' cookies! Assholes. Y/N: Karma. Soap: It is not my fault I ate the last slice of cake, I didn't know it was yours- Y/N: IT WAS LABELED! Soap: I DIDN'T SEE IT!! Graves: *slowly backs away*
-- Y/N, holding up a coffee pot: Anyone want more coffee? Price: No, we've all had ours. Y/N: *takes off the lid* Cool. Gaz: What are y-NO! Y/N: *chugging from the pot* Ghost: ...This is the peak of mental illness. Price: PUT THE DAMN POT DOWN! Soap: This is the scariest thing I've ever seen them do- Y/N: *fighting to finish the coffee as Price tries to get it away from them*
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