#need more southern gay people in my life

[zanderism]

my favorite kind of people grew up with in the hills with fake wood panels and leather couches

[fattystoriez]

Preston’s 18th Birthday

Content Warning: Incest, Homophobic Slurs, Weight Gain

Preston was a normal teenage boy, except for the fact that he was adopted by a gay couple when he was born. His mother didn’t want him and he learned that some time after he was born, she died. He knew nothing about his biological father, but he never stopped looking, his dads didn’t even know who his father was. His dads were great, but Preston never stopped wondering what life would be like had he been raised by his biological father.

A couple months ago, Preston’s biological father reached out through Facebook. His profile had no pictures and seemed to be new, but he had the DNA test from when he was born to prove his relation. His name is Travis, he’s in his mid 40’s and he is a construction worker. Despite not knowing what his dad looks like, Preston started to talk with his dad more and more. His two dads suggested that he meet his father for his 18th birthday before the party, Preston thought this was a great idea and so did his dad. So they had made plans to meet, he would chat and have lunch and come back to his house for his party.

Preston’s Birthday

Preston woke up to a massive aching boner, one that was begging to be released. “Oh GOD!” He moaned loudly as he grabbed the hard on, his underwear soaked in precum. “Fuck I don’t have time to take care of this” Preston thought, “I’ll just take a shower and maybe it’ll chill out.”Preston’s cock calmed down after he took cold shower, but he could help but notice that he was still very horny. He threw on a t-shirt, a pair of briefs and some gym shorts. Preston checked his phone, it was 11:30am already, he needed to hurry or he’d be late for lunch with his dad. He went downstairs saying bye to his dads, got into his car and headed towards Travis’s place, his cock slowly leaking precum the whole way there.

Preston noticed as he was getting closer that his dad lived in a trailer park, which was fitting given he is a construction worker. He didn’t realize how nice he had it with his dads, living in a suburban home with a nice new car and electronics. Travis would barely be able to afford rent let alone all of Preston’s nice commodities. Preston knocked on the door, he heard heavy footsteps walk towards the door and it swung open to reveal Travis.

Travis was HUGE! His tight orange shirt couldn’t even cover his massive belly, and his underwear… or are they shorts??? They looked tight on his waist. His face was covered by a bushy beard, hair that the top of his head lacked. He still has some hair around the sides of his head, which only added to his grotesque appearance. “Preston!” The massive bear of a man said with a thick southern accent, he squeezed Preston in a tight hug, the contact making his cock leak some pre cum. “I’m so glad you’re finally here, I’ve been waiting to watch- I mean… see you all day!”

Travis showed Preston into the trailer, it was dingy and grimy, Travis clearly doesn’t know how to pick up after himself. Preston could tell he also didn’t smell the best, having a very distinct and vile musk that emanated from him “I’ve been excited too…” Preston noticed the massive amount of food that was over in the kitchen area. “Is that… for lunch today?” Preston was confused, there was no way two people could eat that much, even if Travis was a massive hog.

“Of course it for lunch big guy! You’re 18!” Travis said that as if Preston should know what that means, it was then that Preston felt his stomach gurgle in hunger. “But let’s start with your birthday cake, I made it special myself.” Travis walked Preston to the dining table and pulled out the most delicious cake Preston has ever seen.

“Oh you really didn’t have to do this much, there’s no way I’m eating all of this.” Preston said as he sat down, Travis cutting him a slice of cake. “Oh it chocolate, that’s actually my favorite.” Preston took a bite of the cake and it was the most delicious thing he had ever eaten in his life, it even made his cock stand back up. “Oh god… this is good!”

“I thought you might like it, made it with my own secret recipe.” Travis went behind Preston, massaging his shoulders as his son starts to pig out on the rest of the cake. “It’s a tradition for men in our family to eat like this on their 18th birthday, son.” Preston couldn’t stop himself from eating more of the cake, he couldn’t process what was going on. “When men in our family hit adulthood, we grow quickly into slobbish pigs.”

Preston was having a hard time processing the information, he couldn’t stop eating the cake long enough to worry about what was happening to him. “Oh god… daddy what’s happening to me?” Preston’s voice started to have a light souther accent that could barely be heard through the chewing.

Preston’s body started to plump up quickly, his abs from his years in track were fading away. “You can’t stop the change, son.” Travis started to feed Preston once the cake was gone, “Your faggot daddies couldn’t have prepared you for this son, they wouldn’t know what to do with a pig like you.” Preston’s head was spinning, his body getting fatter and fatter as his body gives in to his DNA.

Preston’s once smooth chest has pumped into two soft moobs that jiggled with every bite, his jawline started to fade as the fat started to accumulate. Preston was in a blissfully perverted shock as his whole life was being ruined by this pig of a man, his cock rock hard was leaking like a faucet, soaking his underwear. “Daddy… I’m getting so fat…” Preston moaned in between foods, “w-why do I sound like this daddy… w-“

“Shhhhhh” Travis shushed Preston as he shoved a greasy slice of pizza into his mouth. “You’re becoming just like your daddy, and your daddies daddy, as so on. You come from a long line of perverted hogs.” Travis gripped Preston’s cock with his other hand, “my daddy helped me out exactly like this, fattened me up real good.” Travis pumped Preston’s leaking cock as he told him how much of a pig he was going to become. “You’re gonna love it boy, you’ll be able to turn other men into fat hogs just like us. It one of our many talents, one that I can’t wait for you to use.” Preston was in a fattening bliss, listening to the hypnotic words coming out of his daddies mouth as he played with his own fattening body.

“Oh daddy… daddy I’m gonna-“ Preston released, soaking his underwear and his dad’s hand, this act of finishing sealed Preston’s already inevitable fate. “Oh god daddy, look what you’ve done to me…”

Preston’s belly was as big as his daddies, he couldn’t stop jiggling the soft flesh that had taken over his body. “I didn’t do nothin’ boy, this was your natural calling.” Travis took a doughnut, wiped Preston’s cum into it and fed it to his son.

After Preston was done chewing his specially glazed doughnut he wondered who he could make into a fat piggy himself, the he thought of his faggoty dads. “Let’s go visit my dads, daddy!”

“Of course boy, those faggots are gonna piss their pants when they see how big you’ve grown.” Travis helped Preston up and walked his half-naked fat ass to Travis’s pickup truck, the two whales could barely fit in it together. “We’ve got a party to get to, boy.”

Part 2?

[perfectlyvalid49]

Sorry for grossing you out but uh, I have a complex claim to a lot of religions and cultures because of how colonialism (arguably Israel is a settler colony state so uh… hmmm) has impacted me.

As you’ve ascertained (correctly) I’m a non-Jewish American, only by technicality, because I haven’t found a rabbi that will even support the fact that I’m gay and the “three asks” thing feels like a troll move which feels… homophobic???

I need you to seriously consider how my life has been negatively influenced (hence the circumcision poll) by a bastardized JEWISH practice, and what the fuck that means for my identity as it feels like fate to some degree and a bit offensive that you would yuck my ability to find yum in Yhwh or w/e because I’m… too much of a faggoy? Idk man… just asking questions. I’d love to clarify your response in a dm since its… a lot. Not meaning to offend just sick of being put in a box because my circumcision and mother aren’t “right” enough to be in the in club because Hekate or Satan or whatever swooped in and said “NOPE” 🙃

Cheers

Trying to understand Israel through the lens of settler colonialism is a failing proposition. Consider the following:

Jews are indigenous to Israel. We have a historical record that says they’re from there in both the Greek and Roman written record. Like there is as much if not more evidence of Jews in Israel in Roman writing as there is of Julius Caesar being a real person. We also have archaeological evidence. Israel is covered with digs that find evidence of Jewish life dating back 2,000-3,000 years. We also have genetic evidence. DNA studies have shown that even super white looking Ashkenazi Jews have significant portions of DNA that are most closely related to other groups from the southern Levant.

So to call Jews settlers either denies all that evidence, insists that indigenous people can be settlers on their own land, or posits that indigenous people can somehow lose their status as indigenous if you wait long enough. The first is anti-intellectual and antisemitic, the second is ridiculous and the third is a dangerous line of thinking for all indigenous people. How long before Native Americans no longer have a claim to their land? How long before Maori no longer have a claim? It’s not really a place we want to go.

As for colonial, the definition of a colony is “a country or area under the full or partial political control of another country, typically a distant one, and occupied by settlers from that country.” So which country controls Israel? I think we’ve seen over the last year that it’s not the US given the way Bibi has repeatedly blown off Biden, so who is it? Which country is sending settlers to control the area? Again, it’s not the US. While some American Jews make Aliyah every year, the vast majority of Jews in Israel are either from Europe or the Middle East. To be a colony, you have to be a colony of some other power. What is the other power here?

So we can see that Jews are neither settlers nor colonizers. But you know who did colonize the area? Arabs. Arabs are indigenous to the Arabian peninsula, not Israel. And in the 7th century, Arabs came from the Arabian peninsula into Israel (and other places), conquered the locals and did their best to eradicate their cultures, forced conversions to the conquering religion, and settled in the new lands while being under the political control of the far away Caliphate. Sounds like settler colonialism to me. So if we must understand someone in the area as colonial (and I still don’t think it’s the best way to look at things, but if you do) then it’s the people that Palestinians are descended from.

Having said all that, just because colonialism has impacted you, it doesn’t mean you have a complex claim to Judaism. Here are ways you can have a complex claim to Judaism: 1) your father is Jewish and your mother is not, 2) you have Jewish ancestors who were forced to convert and you are now trying to reconnect with the religion that was taken from them. I don’t know your history, so it’s possible that one of those is true. But if you have no Jewish ancestry, then your claim is not complex, it’s non-existent, and if you do have Jewish ancestry but your ancestors willingly left the tribe, then you don’t really have much of a claim either. That doesn’t mean you can’t convert, but given that you seem to think you have claims on other aspects of Judaism as a non-Jew, my gut reaction is to be very doubtful toward your claim on Judaism in general.

If you can’t find a rabbi to support your conversion because you’re gay, you’re looking in the wrong places. The senior rabbi at my synagogue is gay, and we have several queer families as part of the congregation. There are literal signs on the door to the main office that say Trans and Queer Jews welcome here. This doesn’t mean that all congregations are welcoming, but lots are.

The three asks thing is a metaphor that some rabbis take literally. Converting to Judaism is a big decision. The three asks are to make sure that you’ve really thought about it and are really sure – that you’re taking it seriously and thought through all the consequences. If that feels like trolling to you, then maybe Judaism isn’t a good fit. Honestly, from my interactions with you this week, I would bet that the rabbis you’ve met with haven’t said no because you’re gay, they’ve said no because you don’t seem super interested in taking on Jewishness, you just want to take from it instead.

I don’t know what happened with your circumcision. If it went wrong and it was done by a mohel then you can feel angry toward the Jewish people I guess, but I would want to know why your parents had a bris for you if they weren’t planning on raising you Jewish. If you were just circumcised as a medical procedure, as many American babies are, then you may have trauma related to it, but you don’t need to be taking it out on the Jewish people, which is exactly what that poll was doing.

Don’t write down those four letters. Don’t try to pronounce them either. We have asked, repeatedly that people not do that, and once again, the fact that you are is super disrespectful to Jewish people. Write G-d, or God if you must, or even Hashem (I don't think goyim should, but it's better than what you did), but not those four letters. It’s not yucking your yum. You are allowed to enjoy what you want. But what you are doing here is the equivalent of coming into my house and saying that because my dinner looks delicious you can just reach onto my plate with your bare hand, scoop up some of what I’m eating, take a bite and throw the rest back. It’s disrespectful and offensive. I am not objecting to your joy, I’m objecting to your lack of respect to my culture.

Being Jewish is about more than just being circumcised and having the “right” mother. There is a culture here that you need to understand. If you are raised in it, then you get to join the club that way. If you’re not, then you can put in the work to learn it and learn to be respectful of it and join the club that way. So far, you haven’t been able to find a rabbi that thinks you’re willing to do that work, and from what I’ve seen, I’m willing to agree.

[cardentist]

I'm like, 70% sure this is only an issue with the gravity falls fandom on twitter, but if I don't say something I think I'm gonna explode

there Doesn't Need to be a bad guy between fiddleford, emma-may, and ford ! we can recognize one character causing harm to another, both directly and indirectly, Without framing it like it's intentional or that it makes any of them inherently bad.

in particular, I think there's been pushback against people vilifying ford (both in general and as angst material for other characters) by just. shifting that blame over to another character instead and running with it.

so to get this out of my system:

Yes I agree that fiddleford and ford have a lot of queercoding between each other. I think it's always been there to an extent, but it's absolutely been reinforced with the book of bill and "thisisnotawebsite."

and even if you choose to read their relationship as platonic (which is fine ! a lot of people like to read ford as aroace, for instance), it's very clear that fiddleford's relationship with ford heavily put a strain on his relationship with his family and ultimately lead to his and emma-may's divorce.

and there's nothing wrong with exploring that! exploring how it hurt emma-may and tate, exploring how it's another facet of fiddleford ruining his own life without even thinking about it, exploring the complicated feelings that were happening in that cabin. and I don't even think there's anything wrong with joking about fiddleford being a cheater or ford and emma-may being rivals.

but it Really grinds my gears when people frame fiddleford as being inherently in the wrong for taking the job with ford, as if he was intentionally hurting his family or that he Genuinely went there to cheat.

1: one of the first things we're told about fiddleford in journal 3 is that he was raised dirt poor and wanted to climb the latter in the scientific community to give his family a better life than HE had.

and that's Exactly why he took the job in gravity falls ! it was someone he trusted as his good friend AND someone he trusted academically. the whole idea is that this was supposed to be a temporary job that would Both help a dear friend of his And open up opportunities for his future.

and like, this aspect of his character isn't insignificant. he is Very Much So an archetype of a poor person, and has been since his inception. it's part of what Makes him a match for ford, he's an intellectual match yes but he's also an Outcast that wants more out of life than what he has. this aspect isn't Malicious by any means, but it equally lead them to hurt people they cared about.

Yes he left emma-may and his young son, but it was Never supposed to be forever. he left FOR them, which is half of what makes what happened so tragic in the first place. in many ways, he hurt them Because he cared about them.

and Yes, I do love a queer reading of these characters (and I'll get to that), but it's Very clear in the source material that fiddleford Does care about his family. a big part of his falling out with ford in the first place was because Fiddleford thought they both needed to leave gravity falls to raise their own families, and it's something that fiddleford brings up earlier on in their stay together as well.

that doesn't excuse how he'd mistreat emma-may at all. she was absolutely in her right to divorce him (which I thought even before the book of bill dropped). but I feel like we're letting the subtext overtake the TEXT while examining these characters and their dynamic.

2: lets assume that fiddleford IS a closeted gay man (or bisexual, or that he and emma may are in a lavender relationship, or-), as I so often like to do.

while exploring the pain that could cause emma-may and tate is Very Interesting and fun, I think we're ignoring the systemic homophobia in the room.

fiddleford was born in the 1960s to a religious poor rural southern family, and emma-may and fiddleford's relationship happened in the 1980s.

I Do think fiddleford is definitely progressive for his time (and just overall a very chill dude), but his upbringing Also very clearly had an affect on him. if it's possible for a man who believes the world is a simulation to also believe in jesus then fiddleford's the one to have done it.

and this is implied directly in the text mind, whether fiddleford is still actively religious or not he gets on ford for doing things like taking the lord's name in vein. not something that someone who Wasn't affected by a religious upbringing would do.

there's also the textual (rather extreme) anxiety, and the Implied ocd (the hair pulling, the cubix cube, the moral fixation, etc).

with all that said !

YES it would be extremely painful for emma-may to be in love with a gay man who had a crush on someone else, whether fiddleford was aware of or even acted on those feelings or not.

but I do hope we can all understand why it's Not Great to frame fiddleford as being inherently in the wrong for this right? for either not realizing his feelings at all or deliberately repressing them in the wake of Probable religious trauma and Definite safety issues in the society he lived in? Yeah?

no we should not treat emma-may like she's "getting in the way" of our beautiful yaoi, but ignoring systemic homophobia to vilify a queer man being afraid of appearing as anything but straight in the 1980s is. um. Bad.

the thing that's Most interesting about this whole situation is that it's a tragedy through and through. you can't inherently blame Any of them for what happened, and trying to do so loses what actually makes the situation so complex and painful.

because fiddleford clearly DID care about them, ALL of them, very dearly. and he obviously wanted to do the right thing. and yet he hurt them all, and yet his entire life and mind fell apart to ash in his fingers.

it's Crazy, and it absolutely does a disservice to the situation to frame it as fiddleford just being a slutty lying cheater (or ford Ruining a perfectly good man by being abusive, or emma-may getting in the way of our old man yaoi).

except bill, we can vilify bill. I think he'd like that

[sniffanimal]

you know what, let me have your fiction book recs. I'll take any recommendations but I'm particularly interested in:

SF/F/SpecFic, especially things that are fresh, subversive, or otherwise actually particularly interesting

One-offs, I'm not ready to commit to a series, even something like a trilogy. I'm spheres deep in the Stormlight Archive again right now and don't need another series in my life. still recommend them but know they're low priority

really weird books. ones with sentient houses or delusional narrators or something sinister lurking. ones that make you dizzy to read.

not interested in romance. yes even gay romance books. not my thing really. incidental romance alongside a bigger plot is fine but like Romance Genre is not my favorite at all.

general fiction is also fine, in fact I'm almost more interested in general fiction. I like stories that are psychologically interesting (I'm reading some nonfiction biographies from people with delusions/hallucinations/psychosis/etc and while I prefer nonfiction for this kind of thing, I'm sure there's good fiction out there).

particularly interested in broadening my reading scope, lesser known authors, bipoc authors, translated books, etc.

avoid YA recs. there's a lot of YA I like out there but after reading tons of books for grown ups, YA sometimes feels like I'm reading baby's first dystopia

and you can also give me nonfic recs I always want those

fiction I've enjoyed recently: the Southern reach trilogy, the Murderbot diaries, the cosmere books, American psycho, Piranesi, house of leaves, the three body problem

I've been so book hungry lately I'm like glued to my Kindle. usually I read nonfiction but the nonfiction book I'm reading right now reads like fiction so I'm like 👀 maybe fiction is good actually

[monstrousgourmandizingcats]

Some books and stories that I think are worth reading in conversation with Yellowjackets

Shirley Jackson, all works but especially The Sundial, The Haunting of Hill House, and We Have Always Lived in the Castle. Jackson might or might not need any introduction in this fandom. The Sundial is her take on doomsday preppers, Hill House is of course her haunted house novel (one of the classics of that genre), and Castle has a female protagonist who makes Shauna look like a plaster saint.

Flannery O'Connor, The Violent Bear It Away. O'Connor's work has some of the most pervasive darkness and brutality of any major American writer (maybe Ambrose Bierce comes close), and the second of two novels that she completed before her death is no exception. (The first, Wise Blood, is also very good; the intended third, Why Do the Heathen Rage?, only exists as a fragmentary short story.) Francis Marion Tarwater is kidnapped and raised in the woods by his great-uncle, who is convinced that Francis is destined to be a prophet. The great-uncle's death commences a bizarre adventure involving auditory hallucinations, sinister truckers, an evil social worker, arson, developmental disabilities, and baptizing and drowning someone at the same time. Content warnings for all of the above plus rape. O'Connor is also a fairly racist author by today's standards--she was a white Southerner who died in 1964--so keep that in mind as well.

Ruth Ozeki, The Book of Form and Emptiness. Teenage protagonist is schizophrenic and also a channel for a genuinely supernatural force; well-intentioned but poorly-considered efforts to treat one of these issues make the other worse. Sound familiar? There are supporting characters who are affectionate parodies of Slavoj Zizek and Marie Kondo. A minor character is a middle-aged lesbian who cruises dating apps for hookups with much younger women. Some people find this book preachy and overwritten, but I really like it and would plug it even if I didn't because the author is someone whom I've met and who has been supportive of my own writing.

Yukio Mishima, The Decay of the Angel. Can be read in translation or in the original Japanese. This is the fourth and last book in a series called The Sea of Fertility but I wouldn't necessarily recommend the first three as particularly YJ-ish; Decay is because it deals at great length with issues of doubt and ambiguity about whether or not a genuinely held, but personally damaging, spiritual and religious belief is true. There's also more (as Randy Walsh would put it) lezzy stuff than is usual for Mishima, a gay man. Content warnings for elder abuse, sexual abuse of both children and vulnerable adults in previous books in the series, forced abortion in the first book if you decide to read the whole thing from the beginning, and the fact that in addition to being a great novelist the author was also a far-right political personality.

Howard Frank Mosher, Where the Rivers Flow North. An elderly Vermont lumberjack and his Native American common-law wife refuse to sell their land to a development company that wants to build a hydroelectric power plant. Tragedy ensues. I haven't read this one in a long time but some images from the movie stick in my mind as YJ-y. Lots of fire, water, and trees.

Leonard Cohen, Beautiful Losers. Yes, this is the same Leonard Cohen who later transitioned into songwriting and became a household name in that art form. Beautiful Losers is a very weird, very horny novel that he wrote as a young man; it deals with the submerged darkness and internal tension within Canadian and specifically Quebecois society. One of the main characters is Kateri Tekakwitha, a seventeenth-century Iroquois convert to Catholicism who was probably a lesbian in real life (although Cohen unfortunately seems unaware of this). This one actually shows up YJ directly; the song "God Is Alive, Magic Is Afoot" that plays in the season 2 finale takes its lyrics from a particularly strange passage.

Monica Ojeda, Jawbone. Can be read in translation or in the original Spanish. Extremely-online teenage girls at a posh bilingual Catholic high school in Ecuador start their own cult based on such time-honored fodder as Herman Melville novels, internet creepypasta (no, this book does not look or feel anything like Otherside Picnic), and their repressed but increasingly obvious desire for one another. The last part in particular gets the attention of their English teacher, whose own obsessive internalized homophobia grows into one of the most horrifying monstrous versions of itself I've ever read. Content warning for just about everything that could possibly imply, but especially involuntary confinement, religious and medical abuse, and a final chapter that I don't even know how to describe. Many thanks to @maryblackwood for introducing me to this one.

Jorge Luis Borges, lots of his works but especially "The Aleph," "The Cult of the Phoenix," and "The South." Can be read in translation or in the original Spanish. The three works I list are all short stories. The first deals with mystical experiences and the comprehensibility (or lack thereof) of the universe, the second with coded and submerged references to sexuality in general and homosexuality in particular, the third with leaving your well-appointed city home for a ranch in the middle of nowhere and almost immediately dying in a knife fight, which is surely a very YJ series of things to do.

H.P. Lovecraft, "The Colour out of Space," "The Dunwich Horror," "The Dreams in the Witch House," and "The Thing on the Doorstep." Lovecraft in general needs no introduction--the creepiness, the moroseness, the New Englandness, the purple heliotrope prose, his intense racism (recanted late in life but not in time to make any difference in his reception history) and the way his work reflects his fear of the Other. These short stories are noteworthy for having settings that are more woodsy and less maritime than is usual for Lovecraft's New England, for overtones of the supernatural rather than merely the alien, for featuring some of his few interesting female characters, and for their relative lack of obvious racial nastiness. Caveat lector nevertheless.

Herman Melville, Moby-Dick. It's Moby-Dick. Once you realize that Captain Ahab is forming a cult around the whale and his obsession with it you can't unrealize it.

[olderthannetfic]

/724781513472868352 I resonate with this on a deep level. I get told at college all the time that I don't look LGBT+ (they refuse to say queer, respectability politics is a helleva drug), I don't act it, no queer person is into my major or my hobbies, and it's weird that I'm queer but not into astrology or dressing more aesthetically ("are you a cottagecore or a dark academia gay?" I'm neither I'm a me) or playing Pokemon because outgrowing Pokemon is for cishets. People talk about gays/LGBT+ not being able to drive or do math or sit normally and then act like I'm some kind of ridiculous weirdo for not laughing at what they assure me is a true statement that does not apply to them or to me. People encourage me to experiment with my style or hair and "come out of your shell". I am informed I need to listen to certain musicians because all LGBT+ people are into them. It's weird that I'm not. It's even weirder I don't like The Owl House or hate Steven Universe or keep up with Heartstopper like the good queers do.

Basically it all boils down to, "Why can't you be more normal? Why can't you be like us?"

Because I'm not. My dad is a Pashtun Muslim and my mother is a Bukharan Jew. I have lived in the Deep South half my life and Wyoming the other half. My media interests are unrelated to queer rep and wholly based on liking the plots of things. I grew up on oldies and TV shows like Starsky and Hutch that my parents loved, pirated and played on repeat. I don't believe in astrology, I'm not a witch and I'm not an atheist with a Christocentric worldview who assumes all religions are Christianity Lite. I don't listen to the correct musicians mostly because I discover music entirely by accident and have a mishmash of genres and bands in rotation. Pokemon fell off and I'm not into it. I would sooner die than dye my Pashtun red hair that people made fun of me for as a kid. I like wearing button downs, clean shirts, nice jeans and my Magen David. None of this is incompatible with being queer. No one is going to kick me out of a gay club for not having played Pokemon Violet or listening to Tracy Chapman or trusting in science over crystals for healing.

And I really hate that after years of being avoided and pitied in high school by jackass backwards rednecks for being weird, I got to my dream university, the university in the most liberal city in Montana, and get the same fucking treatment.

Commenters like the one anon mentioned remind me of all the people who act like I'm doing it wrong. What is 'it', in that sentence? Living my life. Being queer. And when it crops in fandom - and I've gotten it sometimes for writing queer characters who are like me, Southern and into uncool shit and not sharp dressers and religious - it just makes me want to start screaming.

I am queer. I am not incorrectly queer. I am who I am and therefore, because I am queer, that is a correct way to do queerness.

Some gripes about Gen Z are overblown but this weirdly narrow view of what queerness is allowed to look like or be is 100% as awful as other generations say it is and it's fucking exhausting to live through. I don't have to sit differently in order to be doing queerness right or be unable to drive. I exist and I am queer and that is all I need to do and be.

I wish fandom was different from real life. I wish it was more open to the reality that queer people have a multitude of backgrounds and lived experiences. We're facing enough shit IRL, can't we just have one place where we're NICE to each other?

--

As a 40+ queer, I'm laughing myself sick at the current crop of "required" queer interests.

In my day, it was oldschool cis gay male culture for the men (think being obsessed with Bette Davis) and But I'm a Cheerleader and Dykes to Watch Out For for the women or something.

Not that you have to like any of those things either. It's just hilarious how clueless people are about what's a temporary trend that will probably be different in 5 years.

[camisoledadparis]

THIS DAY IN GAY HISTORY

based on: The White Crane Institute's 'Gay Wisdom', Gay Birthdays, Gay For Today, Famous GLBT, glbt-Gay Encylopedia, Today in Gay History, Wikipedia, and more … December 18

1788 – Ferdinand Philipp Grimm, born in Hanau, Germany, (d.1845) was a German collector of sagas. He is known as the "unknown brother" of the Brothers Grimm, Jacob and Wilhelm. The portrait above, of Ferdinand at 19 years old, was drawn by his artist brother Ludwig Grimm.

From 1815 he worked as a proofreader at the Berlin publishing house Reimer and was financially supported by his brothers Jacob Grimm and Wilhelm Grimm. Dismissed from the publishers in 1834, he lived with his brothers in Göttingen until 1836 , then as a writer in Wolfenbüttel.

He helped his famous brothers collect legends, but also published three collections of his own under the pseudonyms Lothar , Philipp von Steinau and Friedrich Grimm.

Heiner Boehncke writes that Ferdinand was wrongly overshadowed by his brothers, as his fairy tales are of very good literary quality. He writes that Ferdinand was very lonely and that this showed in his work.

Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm wrote in a several letters that their brother was extremely strange and the Germanist Heiner Boehncke came to the conclusion that Ferdinand had come out as homosexual during the Grimms' public Christmas party in 1810.

When he was dying, Jacob visited him, but Wilhelm had broken off contact completely.

1939 – Born in Leavenworth, Texas, gay rights activist Tim Campbell (d.2015) was perhaps best known as the publisher of the GLC Voice newspaper in Minneapolis, which came out from 1979 through 1992. During that period he was the go to person in Minneapolis for the media whenever they needed a quick quote on some gay related event. Campbell was also known for a number of street theater type gay rights protests scattered over the years.

Campbell was pushed into an openly gay lifestyle by the US Army in 1962 when he was called to register for the draft. He checked the box for people who had “homosexual tendencies” even though he had never yet acted on them. For years thereafter, Campbell had to list "1Y" as his draft status on every application for employment he filled out. This had a chilling effect on his pursuit of respectable employment, so he worked in department stores and waited tables.

Bruce Brockway partnered with him to start the Positively Gay newspaper, which became the GLC Voice newspaper.

Campbell himself often said his most important contribution to the national drive for gay rights was the energy he put, during 1974 and 1975, into convincing the Advocate (a national gay publication), the Minneapolis and St. Paul newspapers, including the university's Minnesota Daily, the Washington Post, Dear Abby (Van Buren), and the New York Times to direct their style sheets to use "gay" or "gay and lesbian" or "lesbian and gay" instead of "homosexual". Ever since the mid 1960s, gays themselves throughout the gay bar system and other fledgling organizations had started using "gay" for themselves.

Campbell was also very involved in helping gays, lesbians and others to recover from alcoholism and drug addiction. He sobered up August 25, 1973, in Minneapolis. He was the founding Chair of the Lambda Sobriety Center in Minneapolis in 1981.

Tim Campbell died December 26, 2015, in Houston, Texas, at the age of 76, from esophageal cancer.

1945 – Robert Eads (d.1999) was an American trans man, whose life and death was the subject of the award-winning documentary Southern Comfort.

Eads began transitioning in his forties, after a marriage to a man and after having borne two children. Eads later described being pregnant as "the best and the worst (time) in my life," as he was thrilled by the feeling of having another life grow inside him, but was also disgusted by the fact that his pregnancy made him as a trans man feel even more "trapped" inside his female body. He divorced his husband after the birth of their second son, and presented for some time as a lesbian, though he would later point out that he always viewed his attraction to women as the product of being a heterosexual man rather than a homosexual woman.Eads began transitioning in the late 1980s following a move to Florida. He began testosterone therapy and underwent a modified double mastectomy to create a male physique. However, given his age (early- to mid-40s) as well as the fact that he had already begun to show symptoms of menopause, Eads was counseled that he would not need to undergo a hysterectomy and oophorectomy as part of his sexual reassignment. Eads transitioned later in life and as such it was deemed unadvisable to seek surgical sex assignment to male genitalia. Eads never underwent phalloplasty, and retained external female genitalia throughout his entire life. After living in Florida for some time, and following the failure of his second marriage (to a female psychologist), Eads moved back to Georgia in 1996.

In 1996, after a severe bout of abdominal pain and vaginal bleeding, Eads sought emergency medical treatment, and received a diagnosis of ovarian cancer. However, more than two dozen doctors subsequently refused to treat Eads on the grounds that taking him on as a patient might harm their practice.

It was not until 1997 that Eads was finally accepted for treatment by the Medical College of Georgia hospital, where he underwent surgical, medical, and radiation therapy over the next year. At the time Southern Comfort was filmed in 1998, his cancer had metastasized to the uterus, cervix, and other abdominal organs, and his prognosis was poor. Despite aggressive treatment, Eads died in a nursing home in 1999 at the age of 53.

1950 – Ankha Shamin (nee Donn E. Holley d.2012) was a committed activist for gay rights beginning in the 1970s with the Mattachine Society of New York.

He was born in Rochester, New York. He graduated from Buffalo State University, New York. Most recently he worked as a records manager/senior analyst at Allianz Life and was previously employed as a reference and corporate librarian for Minnesota Technology and Braun Intertec.

Early years in Minneapolis found him singing with the Twin Cities Gay Men’s Chorus and helping to develop and facilitate “Voices and Visions.” He trained with the School of Body Electric organizing and facilitating numerous BE workshops here in the Twin Cities. He avidly participated in the Mankind Project Rainbow Circles and Midwest Radical Faeries.

His life partner and soulmate, Mark S. Mueller, died some time before him.

1990 – Anthony Bowens is an American professional wrestler signed to All Elite Wrestling.

Bowens was born in Nutley, New Jersey. He attended Nutley High School and Montclair State University. He played baseball for eleven years, including at Montclair State and Seton Hall University. He was discovered by professional wrestler Santino Marella, who asked him whether he had ever thought about professional wrestling. He went on to train under Pat Buck.

Bowens started training in 2012 and made his professional wrestling debut in 2013. In November 2016, he suffered a concussion during a match on WWE NXT. In November 2020, All Elite Wrestling President Tony Khan announced that Bowens, alongside Max Caster, had been signed to a five-year contract with the promotion. The announcement also stated that Bowens and Caster would compete as a tag team named The Acclaimed.

Bowens came out as bisexual in January 2017 (he now identifies as gay), showing courage and bravery in that decision, and acting as another role model in the world of pro wrestling.

“It means something when a person can see someone that looks like them, gets them, and understands what they’re going through,” said the 28-year-old Bowens.

“I’m representing the LGBT community and athletes that are LGBT, but even more than that, too. I’m representing the small-town kid who was told he’d never make it, and I’m here for the shy kid that is ready to burst out of his shell and be that beautiful butterfly."

1997 – Navy Secretary John Dalton denied that the US Navy violates the "Don't ask, don't tell" policy by participating in witch hunts.

[chicken-wayng]

“I need Alicent to regret all her life decisions”

Same, Alicent needs a reality check asap. Daemon kills your grandson, Rhaenyra doesn’t punish him and instead welcomes him back with open arms. You think you, Helaena and Jaehaera are safe around these people?

I know I've said it before, but Alicent reminds me of the basic religious southern woman.

Southern Christian women are raised from birth believing that a man is their savior. That a husband and children are going to be their greatest achievement. A man will provide for them. A man will tell them what's okay to say and think. If a man says gay people are nasty, gay people are nasty - if you have those thoughts you're nasty and need to ask for forgiveness to block them out. If a man says a person's skin color makes them a thief, rapist or criminal then it's best to stay away from that colored person; regardless of the fact that the man has stolen more from you and actually has raped you. Which is another thing, rape doesn't exist between a husband and wife in the southern Christian mindset, and if you're not married according to the bible all you have to do is pay off her dad and marry her but to the SC mindset you can slut shame her and make her think its her fault, and why should he be forced to marry a slut?

I'm going on a soap box so I'll back down but I know these things because I was raised this way. I was raised to believe I was nasty for liking girls, I was raised to believe brown people ("especially Puerto Ricans like your nana and dad!") were bad. I was raised in so many sickening ways I'm still having to unlearn a lot of it. However I have resources that just aren't available in Westeros.

When I wanted to know why brown people were bad, all I had to do was get online and read about real life testimonies from the civil war all the way up to present day. What I learned is that we can't even say America has been segregation free for 50 years! 50 fucking years ago they were lynching not only adults but babies!!! I used to use "gator bait" talking about little children, cuz that's what you do in Arkansas, only to learn the term comes from slave days when they'd throw the slave's BABIES to gators!!! How disgusting

When I wanted to know why gay people were bad, all I had to do was get online and learn about the queer people from the 1600s to now. We've existed forever, so what I feel wasn't a phase, or a sin, or anything bad, it was normal. I was raised with the Holy Bible and the biggest lesson we learn is Jesus' love for us. "Love is used over 500 times in the Bible," is what my nana said. Why would he put it in there over 500 times to turn around and tell you to hate? Well I didn't get an answer to that from church or the bible, I got it from Queer Christians (that I was taught weren't a thing.) who told me love is love.

When I want to know why something I was taught doesn't feel right I can look into it. Alicent and Rhaenyra can't. That's part of the tragedy and why they'll never be able to apologize and stop hurting each other. In this way the patriarchy has deepened the divide between them. However their own choices have also done so. Alicent doesn't need to understand bastardphobia to use it to hurt Nyra and Nyra doesn't need to understand the patriarchy to understand why Alicent has to make the choices she has to use the patriarchy to hurt her. They both know they're hurting the other and that's all they care about. The "if I can't love you, if I can't have you think of my name endearingly then I'll have you hate me. I'll have my name ring in your ears until the void takes you." Is toxic but they can't stop. They regret it, but they won't stop. The love is there, but they won't stop.

I need Alicent and Nyra to regret their choices like I regret being a horrible person for the first 15 years of my life.

[doiefy]

mad city // nct series

GENRE: sci fi, biopunk, dystopian, thriller PAIRINGS: features both x reader and mxm fics MEMBERS: johnny, doyoung, jaehyun, jungwoo, mark, possibly more to come!

note: if this series looks somewhat familiar, it's because it is! this is a massive rework of my old 'fight or flight' fic for doyoung, which I posted almost two years ago (pls don't read it, like 69% of it isn't canon anymore and I kinda hate it anyways). it's been a real struggle turning it into something I actually want to write for again (which involved changing the original plotline from x reader to dojae, for which I am VERY unapologetic, don't fucking touch me), but after a year or so of on-and-off planning, here it is. I can't guarantee that I’ll get these fics out super speedily, as I also want them to be very visual and will be spending a shit ton of time on graphics; but if you're interested in a tag list for any of these fics, let me know!

WHAT PEOPLE HAVE REFERRED TO AS THE SPLIT: the fracturing of life as it once was, the steady decline of the natural world, all perpetuating political tensions and rampant crime in two rival cities. 

To the north lies Iameh, an urban paradise of impressive art and culture, resulting from centuries of mining and exploitation—a pristine exterior built upon the hardship of their southern neighbours. In one of their forgotten limestone quarries lies Siacia: Iameh’s shadow, their forsaken history, but a thriving metropolis nonetheless. 

Siacia is all the blinding colours and deafening sound that Iameh is not, boasting citizens with supernatural powers and the most sinister advancements in biotech. From their empty mineshafts and grotesque lifeforms in the quarry lake arises Burner: the Siacians’ fuel, their weaponry, and their only chance against the genetic mutations that plagued them for generations.

But like all things that come out of the ground, Burner is exploited. It is quickly monopolized, used as a drug, turned into a bargaining chip by the Assembly, a loose organization of businessmen and mutants claiming to be Siacia’s ruling government. Those on the streets of the Quarry and its four cardinal faces know very well: what the Assembly demands from them must be given, lest they face their wrath. 

So the fissure spreads and opens wider between the two cities, between all people—only a matter of time before one finds themselves dangling off the edge. 

VOLUME 1: FIGHT OR FLIGHT

pairing: doyoung x jaehyun dark comedy with a side of angst, gay shenanigans and way too many dirty jokes.

KIM DOYOUNG HAS SPENT THE LAST THREE YEARS surviving the Quarry streets alone: hunting bounties for the Coffee Cow (a ruthless contract killing agency despite their name), making poor decisions at drinking establishments, and searching for his missing brother. 

It’s on one trip to the bar that he runs into Jay: a charming, well-mannered businessman from the East Lanes, with a dimpled smile and particular taste for aged whiskey. One occasion turns into two into multiple—the two seeing each other more frequently with slowly-changing intentions, until the truth comes out. Jay, Jung Jaehyun to his close colleagues, is one of the Assembly’s founding members. Which, unfortunately, means he might have something to do with Doyoung’s missing brother, and makes him one hell of an enticing target.

The resultant cat-and-mouse chase across the city is as frustrating as it is exhilarating. But in a shocking turn of events, it reveals a destructive force beyond the both of them, one that needs their immediate attention and collaboration—regardless of who they are to each other. 

anticipated release: summer/fall 2024

VOLUME 2: VIOLET CRAZY

pairing: kim jungwoo x f!reader, johnny seo x reader angst wrapped in drama, tumultuous relationships, a slow but sure descent into madness.

In the aftermath of Johnny Seo’s return, the city of Siacia is not as it once was. Tensions with Iameh are on a steady incline, Assembly politics remain a treacherous game, all while a new strain of Burner spreads through the streets like wildfire. You and Kim Jungwoo are most apathetic to the recent chaos—the two of you like two sides of the same coin, both endlessly spiteful, now embroiled in a feud of your own. For as long as you could remember, your relationship with Jungwoo was one purely of grudge and petty revenge. 

But when Johnny begins his reign of terror, perhaps the two of you are in no position to be idle bystanders. Tragedy strikes Jungwoo’s family, and he has a reluctant change of heart. On the other hand, you remain by Johnny’s side, simply watching his flames burn hotter and rise higher. Merely overnight, your long-standing rivalry with Jungwoo has turned into a struggle for the future of the undercity. The inevitable resurfacing of your past, your forgotten history with Jungwoo, and Johnny’s inexplicable grip on you—it won’t be long before it all reaches a boiling point in the crucible. 

And certainly not long before you’re forced to face the repercussions. 

anticipated release: summer 2025

VOLUME 3: RIDE OR DIE

pairing: mark lee x gn!reader from meet-cute to heated romance. ride or die. madly in love to the bittersweet end.

Breakfast tea with magazines and tabloids. Clay-stained aprons and paint-smeared jeans. Afternoon tea with so-and-so, then back to the kiln and canvases. Dinner party with your fellow curators, handling flawless plates and dainty dessert spoons and immaculate champagne glasses—rinse and repeat, again and again, the routine of an Iamehan artist and socialite. 

Quickly growing tired of all the glitter and glamour of topside, you take a trip back to your roots: the north faces of Siacia, where you can shed all the silk and cashmere in exchange for the nightlife you grew up with. Dancing wildly to rediscover yourself and inspire your art, that’s when you find your muse: Mark Lee, a VIP at the Obelisk Nightclub, blue-haired and bright-eyed, immersed in the stories you tell him. 

You could stay with him forever, seeking thrills and adventure until you reach the ends of the earth. And yet, there is still much more awaiting: the unpleasant and the unideal, and the thwarting of your course by the stars above. 

anticipated release: TBD

VOLUME 4: WHEN THE SUN SETS

pairing: johnny seo x gn!reader psychological horror turned body horror. toxic romance and a tragic end. (!!) mature content, including manipulative, toxic relationships and darker themes some readers may find disturbing.

Johnny Seo is a reasonable man. A patient man, certainly, never reckless, never cruel. Johnny is loving, the perfect lover. Devoted, and devoted wholeheartedly to you. 

In the days and months after the Assembly’s establishment, he keeps you with him at every turn of the road: arm around your waist, head in the crook of your neck, always whispering and promising you better days. A sovereign Siacia is coming, he says. She will be free from the clutches of your northern neighbours, free to do as she pleases. You believe him—until one night, when he comes home bloody and beat-up, furious and unrecognizable. 

Johnny Seo is a meticulous man. A calculated mastermind, certainly, never reckless until he’s perfectly sure, never cruel unless he has to be. Johnny is cunning, the perfect trickster. Obsessive, and obsessed with keeping your memory alive. Obsessed with keeping you with him, an eternal part of him.

anticipated release: TBD

[taschamonnii]

More Than A Woman

Read Part 2 & Part 3 & Part 4 & Part 5

You x Shirley Carter (70s-80s Southern Housewife Original Character  - Elizabeth Olsen) 

*Disclaimer/Summary: This completely Fictional Character is based on the way Lizzie plays old-fashioned Housewives. (Some inspo is taken from WandaVision, I Saw The Light, and Love & Death) This character is in no way a portrayal of any real-life people. Audrey Williams and Candy Montgomery were real people that Lizzie has portrayed for entertainment purposes in tv & film. This story is not about them. I just want to see Lizzie play a 70s-80s housewife that is secretly Gay and stuck in a religious small-town in the South. Since she has never done that but has played the part of perfect housewife I decided to make my own character.* I will be using edited pictures from the characters she has played and unaltered gifs since it's way too hard to edit those.* 

Character Description since this is a made up character: mid length-wavy-dark brown hair (think more the length in I saw the Light like it falls to her collar bones but the dee dark brown from goth Wanda era, Emerald Green eyes, Wears form fitting dresses and hig waisted pants and skirts.  

The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.

Angst/Smut

TW: SMUT, 18+, Cheating on husbands to be GAY together, 

I am so obsessed with Lizzie playing housewife that I made a playlist! More Than A Woman

AN: I’m not going to lie, this is purely a selfish work of writing. I NEEDED it!

Word Count: 4,343

Imagine This:

“I’m very attracted to you. Would you be interested in having an affair?”

The intensity of deep emerald green eyes was almost too much for you. The air in the truck was thick as you swallowed hard. Her gaze moved from your eyes to your lips and in a flash right back up to your eyes. Heat pooled low in your abdomen and you couldn’t help but bite your bottom lip. 

Shirley licked her lips and your gaze was instantly drawn to the movement. Your body gravitated toward her. 

“You already know the answer to that question, Shirley.” 

Your tone was playful. This moment had been a long time coming. The two of you had far too many shared glances and lingering touches. You felt the attraction instantly when your gaze first landed on her in the church choir. She was the only reason you joined when you moved to this tiny town for your husband's job. She was quick to notice you as well, she convinced you to join the church tennis team. She was the epitome of a perfect church-going housewife when she introduced herself to you. Shirley Carter was perfect, too perfect. She knew she had a role to play in life and she perfected it to hide her secret. She was desperately waiting for a woman just like you to share her secret with. You hadn’t needed to perfect your role the way she did. You were originally from California. Yes, you married a man, but there were book clubs specifically for women just like you in your old city. Your husband attended a club of his own so intimacy and kids have never been a requirement. A mutual agreement was made between you and your childhood best friend long ago. You didn’t need to really hide it. So, it was oh so easy for her to notice your constant staring. She let you know it was more than okay when she caught you staring. She'd always manage to drift more into your personal space and she’d act super friendly. It was honestly mesmerizing to watch her play this part so perfectly. 

“Yes, but I want to hear you say it.” she smirked.

“Yes.”

“Yes, what?”

“Yes, I want to have an affair with you, Shirley. You are all I ever want, all I think about.”

“What are you waiting for? Kiss me.”

A shiver ran down your spine at her words. You closed the gap between you in an instant. Her lips were impossibly perfect. Softer, sweeter than you ever imagined and you had imagined this moment since you first gazed upon her plump lips. She didn’t waste any time her body shifted into your space and forced you to sit upright on the bench seat of your truck. She was in your lap before you could even decide where you really wanted your hands. The second she settled into straddling you she kissed you harder biting at your bottom lip. You moved your hands around her body and down her back. The curve of her hips was irresistible, causing you to pull her into you. Her gasp allowed your tongue to slip inside her sweet mouth. You moaned at her taste and moved your hands to grip her ass hard and pull her into you again. 

This time she pulled away quickly and bit her own bottom lip as she pushed your shoulders back. Her hands gilded softly down your arms and grabbed your hands. You watched and let her take your hands where she wanted them. She cast a spell on you the second she whispered that she was attracted to you and now you were hers. She knew this, she knew she could do anything she wanted with you, that you'd do anything. She took your hands and laid them softly on her full breasts then made them glide down her front to her sides to the hem of her blouse. You moved your thumb along the material and grazed her skin softly making her shiver. 

"Touch me."

She let your hands go and grabbed your shoulders. You didn't waste time moving your hands under the fabric. You squeezed her hips pulling her closer. She hummed and pressed in closer, instantly capturing your lips. Your hands moved around her and up her smooth back. Nothing compared to how she felt under your fingers. You couldn't wait to have them buried deep inside her. 

You moved one skilled hand to her bra and unsnapped it as the other hand moved to start pulling her blouse off. The sudden cool air on her heated skin made her shiver and gasp. She may be bold but you had the experience. 

You wasted no time at all after throwing her top aside. Your blunt nails scratched down her back. She leaned into you with a loud sigh.

"Fuck"

"You like that?" 

"God yes!"

"Just wait, I'm only getting started."

You moved your hands up her sides and filled your hands with her full breasts. Her nipples were already so hard it made your mouth water. She sighed as you massaged them in both hands her hips began to grind against you begging for friction. You pinched her nipples without warning hard and she let out a whimper. 

"Does he touch you like this?"

"N-No. Fuck it feels so good. Please don't stop."

"Only I can touch you like this."

She nodded.

"I need to hear it."

You let go of her breasts completely and she groaned.

"Please Y/N! Only you can touch me like this, only you make me feel this good. Please!"

You smirked, she was always so in control and now she was putty in your hands.

You cupped her breasts lightly as light as you could stand it. Making her whimper again. You could cum just at the sound of her breathy moans but you wanted to make her cum first as many times as you could get from her. You were so curious how many ways you could get her to cum in your truck. 

You changed the angle you were sitting, bringing her closer. You leaned forward into her and ghosted your lips over her left nipple. 

"Fuck!"

You flicked your tongue over the stiff bud before she could ask for more. You sucked it hard into your mouth, biting it lightly. Her gasp and jerk of her hips told you she liked it. You pinched her other nipple harder and began to suck and bite and flick her left nipple relentlessly. Her hips were pressing against you wildly. Your free hand steadied her motions helping her get friction by gripping her firm ass and pushing her into you. Her breathing was becoming more labored but her hips kept the motion as you switched hands. You pinched the overstimulated bud hard as your mouth moved to her right nipple. You followed the same relentless pattern. Sucking biting, flicking licking. Pinching and brushing the other. Your free hand moved to her ass only this time you kept her body pressed closer to you not letting her get any friction. 

Her green eyes shot down to lock with yours and her pupils were blown. You released her nipple from your mouth. 

"I want you to cum just from this." You pinched both her nipples then brushed your hands over them and squeezed. 

"I know you are close. Let it go for me and I will make you cum again and again."

She threw her head back as you squeezed her breasts and grazed your palms over her sensitive nipples.

"Fuck I can't"

"You can"

You scratched down her sides and back up then pinched her nipples toying with them between your fingers. Her head shot back up and she pressed closer to you. You kissed down her necks and began to leave the lightest marks, careful not to leave any that will last, over her collarbones and breasts. Your fingers consistently follow a pattern of playing with her hard nipples. Gently then harder. Her hips bucked into you hard and her body trembled then her legs squeezed you hard. 

"Oh OH! Fu-FUCK!"

You hummed feeling your own clit throb at the sight. "Fuck you are breathtaking when you cum."

"I. You. Fuck! I didn't think I could cum like that."

"It takes more time that way but I could spend days worshiping your breasts. But also now you are soaked and ready for me."

You moved your hands finally letting her boobs have a break. Her nipples stood stiff and bright pink, almost tempting you to try and make her cum the same way for you once again. But you couldn't wait to feel how wet she was. 

You moved your hands down to her skirt which was already hiked up around her hips and pushed it out of your way more. You took both your hands to her inner thighs massaging them. You started softly making her whimper and used more pressure as you got closer to wear she needed you most. You could feel the heat radiating off of her center. Your fingers brushed against her silk panties and she gasped for air. She was soaked.

"Can I rip these off of you?"

She shuddered at your words and nodded as she talked. 

"You've already ruined them." 

You moved to the hem of the fabric and yanked it apart. A moan left her lips at the friction against her clit, the soaked material ripped with ease revealing her soft wet skin and soft trimmed hair. 

You moved two fingers along her soaked lips and lightly brushed her clit. 

"Stop fucking teasing Y/N"

You moved your fingers up and down spreading her slick heat she instantly bucked her hips into you. Her hands grabbed at the hair on the back of your neck. 

"Fuck me!"

You moved your fingers to her entrance teasing just the tips in. 

"Kiss me and I'll think about it."

Her lips instantly captured yours hard and needy. You pulled your fingers back up to her clit only adding light pressure. She moved like she was going to part the kiss to complain but you instantly captured her lower lip sucking hard as you moved your fingers. Both your fingers slid into her with ease. Her walls tightly surrounded you. Her body relaxed into you finally getting some satisfaction. She moved her hips as you slid as far as your long slender fingers could go. 

You moved your fingers slowly back out and in, a few times until her hips started rocking in time with you. You curved your fingers making sure to press against her most sensitive spots. 

"Ride my fingers."

Her breathing became heavier and breathier as she moved on top of you, her perky breasts bouncing in front of you. She began to move more and more and so you picked up speed and made sure your palm rubbed against her clit. She was already so close you could feel her walls flutter around you. You moved your free hand from her ass to scratch up and down her back. 

"Fuck! AH! Ah fuck please don't stop! Oh my fucking God! Fucking how? Fuck! Fuck Fuck!"

"I love how you ride my fingers! You are so fucking beautiful!"

Her legs squeeze around you tight and tremble as she throws her head back. Her neck strains and you want to bite it so desperately but know better. You guide her through her orgasm, easing the pressure letting her soak up the high and enjoy a slow come down. Her walls release their tight grip on your fingers and you slowly pull them from her. You are desperate to taste her but you want her to watch so you wait a second. As her body stops shaking she locks her gaze on you and the green rings around her blown pupils cause you to smirk. You feel like the best kind of evil as you bring your fingers to your lips and suck them slowly into your mouth moaning as you get lost in her taste. Her lips part as she watches you. You make sure to make an audible pop sound as you clean them and release them from your mouth. A whimper leaves her parted lips. 

“You are so fucking sexy Y/N!”

“You taste so sweet, Shirley. I want to eat you up, no I need to. Please?” 

You love the way her cheeks become red so you continue. “I need to bury my tongue as deep as I can into your sweetness. I need to feel your tight walls flutter around it as I drink you in and get lost in how incredible you taste. Do you want to feel my tongue inside you, Shirley?” 

Her body shudders and it is breathtaking to watch your words affect her so deeply. You move closer and brush your lips against hers softly. “Do you want to know how good you taste?”

She doesn’t answer with words, her lips meet yours urgently. She is swiftly slipping her tongue in your mouth and pressing her body against you with need. She moans into the kiss and manages to suck lightly on your tongue. Your clit throbs and you can’t stop the shudder that runs down your body. She pulls away with a smirk knowing the effect she had on you filled her with confidence. Her hands ran down over your chest and her slender long fingers quickly unbuttoned your top. She makes even quicker work of your bra, tossing it aside. She licks her lips as your breasts and abs are unveiled to her. 

Her fingertips brush up and down your chest and abs. Your nipples harden as her palms brush over them. She pinches them between her fingers softly. 

"Can I make you cum like this?"

You bite your bottom lip and nod. It's so sexy how she wants to copy what you did and learn from you. 

Her commanding, dominating, and controlling personality pushed her to be a fast learner and damn she really paid attention.

Her fingers are so long and her grip is strong she holds your breasts in both her hands firmly feeling squeezing, testing the weight in her hands. She loves how soft your skin is. She loves how you fit perfectly in her hand and it is better than her wildest daydreams. 

You moan at her explorations. Her palms graze your hard nipples as she releases your breasts. She then swiftly pinches both nipples between her fingers softly.

"Harder." You sigh

She bites her bottom lip and she pinches harder. Causing you to sigh with relief. You can feel your walls contracting around nothing and buck your hips up into her to no avail. 

She smirks. She moves off your lap slightly bunching up your skirt as she adjusts herself to put one knee between your legs and to allow her to straddle your bare leg. 

Her bare wet core now rests hot against the smooth skin of your thigh. And fuck her knee is pressed right against the wet fabric covering your clit. Her intuition is beautiful but you expect she's read about this sort of thing. She's a curious and intelligent woman. 

She settles for a moment in the new position still pinching your nipples, eyes glued to your every reaction. Then she slowly slides her wet heat along your thigh as she presses her knee into your clit. You throw your head back straining your neck. 

The display of your exposed neck collar bones and chest make her mouth water. She licks her lips before she leans in and presses an open mouthed kiss to your neck. She kisses and tests the waters sucking lightly. You can tell she wants to mark your skin by the way her lips tremble against you.

Her lips feel devine. Your mind wanders to how good they will feel on the rest of your body and how badly you want her to bite you but you more so just want to see and feel what she does next. You melt as her kisses lower to your chest and she kisses all around your nipple. She takes the other in her hand and finally envelopes the stuff bud in her warm mouth. She is light, careful, and calculated as she flicks her tongue and it drives your hips to grind against her. She pinches your other nipple as she lightly bites the one in her mouth and you can't help yourself.

"Fuck that feels so good!" You grab her ass in both your hands and squeeze, pressing her wet heat harder against your leg. Bringing her closer and also giving your clit much needed pressure. 

She takes this as a sign that she's doing the right things and begins a pattern similar to what you did licking biting sucking while grazing and squeezing and pinching. She switches between breasts and your back arches. You are so close and right when you are about to say harder her long fingers tangle into and pull your hair. She bites harder on your nipple and pinches the other with determination. You feel your walls contract and moan out. 

"Fuck I'm cuming! Yes Shirley!"

Your body trembles once twice as she releases your breasts and kisses your lips. Your hands travel up her back and into her hair as you deepen the kiss. She pulls back first. 

"I want to feel you cuming."

Her fingers travel down your torso and pull on the hem of your soaked panties. Her gaze falls to your lap and she grabs at the fabric the same way you did hers. You nod approval to rip them. Her fingers move with haste and her gaze is locked on the skin and neatly trimmed hair. She watches as the fabric falls with a clear sticky wetness. She licks her lips as she glances back up at you.

"I don't know how to do this."

She moves off your lap and sits looking away from you. Twisting in her direction you softly graze her chin and pull her attention back. 

"You have been doing amazing and you have made me feel absolutely incredible already. You don't have to do anything else if you don't want to."

"No! I want to! I just want to be great or nothing."

You smirk. "You and those long fingers are going to be the best. You are going to ruin me for everyone else, no one will ever compare to you." 

She rolls her eyes.

"I know this because you want to be great so you will let me help you and you will listen and feel and know what to do by paying attention."

She bit her bottom lip thinking "can you straddle me so I can do it like you did?"

You lightly bite your bottom lip and raise your eyebrow. "Oh Mrs. Carter, you want me to ride your fingers and fuck me senseless?" 

"Yes, Mrs. Y/L/N." 

You move and help her adjust into more of the middle of the seat. The bench seat is such a blessing and you are so thankful for your truck right now. Your knees hug her outter thighs and you hold your skirt keeping it bunched up as you settle on her lap. Her gaze travels up and down your body with determination like she's memorizing you. It makes you shiver and you can't stop yourself as you capture her lips in a heated kiss.

Her hands grip your hips fiercely and you think you may have bruises from it which makes heat rush to your already dripping core. You steady yourself with one hand on her shoulder and take the other down to grab her dominant hand. You hold her wrist as you guide her hand down. You guide her to just lay her hand over your core and you release a hot breath against her necks. She takes that as a good sign and presses her middle finger against you more. She bends it running from the source of the slick heat to your clit and you let go of her wrist to grab her other shoulder as your body shudders. 

She repeats this a few times each time teasing your entrance a little. Your hips are begging for more when she decides to slide her middle finger into you slowly letting your walls pull her in and fuck it feels so fucking good! She curls her finger as she slowly removes it and you can't help but squirm on top of her. 

"More. I need another."

Her gaze falls to your lap as you lift up off her slightly and she presses two fingers at your entrance. She slowly pushes in and you let your hips fall, enveloping her fingers with a sigh of relief. Your walls flutter around her and it encourages her to begin exploring different things. Your hips match her movements and your breath quickens. Your hands tangle into the hair on the back of her neck. 

You can't stop yourself from leaning into her as you feel the pressure build. Her fingers are perfect. You try to kiss her shoulder and neck but your moans make you falter and scrape your teeth against her skin. It makes her shudder and dig her other hand harder into the skin of your waist as she helps you stay steady. Your breath is more of a frantic panting against her skin and it just seems to urge her on. She quickens her pace more confident in her motions. 

And fuck it feels so good to let her take the lead to give into her. She seems to be enjoying herself and it just makes you clench around her. She can't stop watching her fingers disappear into you. She's mesmerized. 

You are so close your hips can't keep up with her motions but it's more than okay because she is fucking you right where you need her. 

"Fuck Shirley! Ah! Feels so good! Oh fuck right there! Keep- Oh fuck! I'm gonna AH!"

Your hips falter completely as your legs squeeze around her and your legs tremble. Your walls squeeze her fingers contracting hard around her. She slows her pace and stays inside you until you loosen your hold on her. You lean back blissed out and ready to kiss her but she's slowly sucking her fingers and your jaw literally drops at the sight. She moans at the taste of you and keeps her gaze locked on yours. When she makes a wet pop sound finishing the show you instantly capture her lips in a hungry kiss absolutely melting into the taste of you and her. 

You both break from the kiss in need of air and rest your foreheads together. 

The windows of your truck are fogged up and reality hits you. You just fucked and got fucked by Shirley in the church parking lot! You can’t stop the laughter that falls from your lips.

Shirley tilts her head to the side with a crooked smile. “What’s so funny?”

You gesture all around you “We just fucked in the church parking lot. I just fucked and got fucked by Mrs. Perfect Southern Church going HouseWife, Shirley Carter.”

You throw your head back with laughter and soon she joins you but not before she lightly slapped your shoulder. She glanced around and you were parked far in the back corner but still it was so risky! Sure that was part of the thrill but Shirley was not an idiot. She nudged you to get you to be serious for a second. 

“We should probably be smarter about this. We need to make a plan.”

You nod in agreement. “You’re probably right.” 

You move to get off her lap and she stops you. “Where do you think you’re going?”

You smile down at her. “It’s getting late. I was going to find my blouse.”

She bit her bottom lip “oh alright, but I really like having you like this.”

You gave her a lopsided smile and leaned in to kiss her lips once again but this time savoring it. You parted your lips but only barely. “I like it too.”

You pecked her lips once more before moving off her lap and grabbing her top and tossing it at her. You found your bra and quickly pulled it on. You find her bra and dangle it from your finger. “Mrs. Carter, this little lacy red thing is so very inappropriate for choir practice.” 

She rolls her eyes and snatches it from you. “Oh yes because that black number you have on is so appropriate.” 

She smirks and grabs your shirt from under her and throws it at you. 

You gasp and throw your hand over your chest “whatever do you mean?”

“You know exactly what I mean. Now button your damn blouse so I can concentrate.”

You do as you are told and watch as she fixes her blouse, hair, and makeup in the mirror. Just like that she looks the part. Perfectly put together. You leave your hair tousled and a few buttons undone, your husband is used to this and most likely is asleep in his room by this hour. 

When she turns to look at you her gaze falls and she physically shakes her head. 

“You can’t go home looking like that!”

“Like what?” You smirk, “relax, my husband, is asleep in HIS room and used to me coming home like this. We have an arrangement, made a pact as kids, so our lives could be easier. Theo likes men and I well, obviously, I LOVE women.” 

You eye her up and down with a smug expression and top it off with a wink. Another roll of her eyes. “You are something else. This is all new to me and we need to be careful. I have kids to think about.”

“Oh don’t you worry, I know how to be discreet and flexible. Whatever you need, you are worth it.”

AN: This is an original series 

[t0ast-ghost]

Episode 25 (This Side Of Paradise) is this the fuck flower one? Only one way to find out; through:

- Dangerous fucking planet. “Living tissues disintegrates under its exposure” I’m worried the suggested “limited exposure” might become less and less limited

- did they? Make McCoy’s eyebrows thicker? Like does he have eyebrow pencil on? I just wanna know

- “On pure speculation… just an educated guess— I’d say that man is alive.” Kirk gives him a *look* how does he survive around McCoy and Spock’s sass

- I feel like having warm flesh isn’t necessarily the ultimate test to see if someone is alive. But what do I know, I’m an actor not a doctor.

- McCoy and Spock are so handsome in this episode

- how do I explain that this photo reminded me of this video?

- what in the kuleshov effect?? Why does Spock like this random- nvm not random but why?

- “I wouldn’t know right or wrong if it was two feet away from me.” Sits right next to the flowers. Sulu move away from the flowers please

- not ominous not threatening and completely normal (my mantra for thinking about the planet inhabitants when they say something like “he has no choice but to stay” or “you’ll find no weaklings here”)

- girl, he is GAY

- “Emotions are alien to me I am a scientist.” What do you study? Men? (I’m sorry I’ll stop now)

- DID THAT PLANT JUST- nope can’t say that

- “It shouldn’t hurt” HES ALLERGIC

- “Would you like me to use a butterfly net on him, Jim?” (Note to self draw Bones with a butterfly net and one of those stupid drawstring sunhats)

- Spock’s cloud watching.. HES SEEN A DRAGON WHAT KIND OF LORE IS THAT

- “No I don’t think so, *sir*” YES FULL SASSY SPOCK YES

- “That didn’t sound at all like Spock, Jim.” “No… I thought you said you might like him if he mellowed a little.” “I didn’t say that, I!-” “You said that, I-” “Not exactly… He might be in trouble.”

- Spock in a tree? How’d he get up there?

- THE PLANTS THEY- no no don’t say that.

- “Hiya, Jimmy boy!” It’s kinda funny how Bones becomes more southern (and happy) every time he’s mind controlled

- Jim alone on the bridge :(

- THE FLOWER JUST FUCKIN- no…just… no

- Jim: Time to go piss off my crew and get beaten up by Spock

- NO JIM TOO FAR

- All they have to do to get McCoy back is put him in a room with Spock and let them go at it (edit: I meant arguing)

- “You wanna see how fast I can put you in a hospital.” WHOA WHOA WOW

- McCoy not afraid TO PUNCH A BITCH!

(I’ve got all three of them now :D)

- Jim’s surrounded by people on the bridge again! Yippee!!

- I’m reminded how much I need subtitles on this show

- “For the first time in my life… I was happy.” WHAT SPOCK THATS INSANE! LET HIM BE HAPPY???

Okay good fuck plant episode. See you next time

Masterpost

[narrativelysignificantturtleduck]

ok i know the sex ed post was ages ago but I saw it in your most liked tab and it got me thinking, particularly with zukka, that even though they had sex ed they wouldn't have had gay sex ed. zuko grew up with sailors + the royal family in homophobic fire nation, and sokka got probably taught by gran gran about having babies. so all i can think is that if they decided to take that step when older, they are gonna have no clue what to do. queue sokka very very awkwardly shuffling up to bato who he knows is in a relationship with his dad and saying can I ask a question. promise not to laugh at me. except bato is less amused and more mildly horrified that sokka has chosen him to answer these questions

oh my god yeah. like, i'm not sure gran-gran's sex ed would've been heteronormative - depends on what you think the southern water tribe's attitudes are - but there's a very strong possibility that sokka, as a sexist teenage boy who thought he was straight, may have been like GRAN-GRAN EWWW STOP LALALA I'M NOT LISTENING

like the convo went: here's how babies happen -> sometimes grown-ups do this without the intent to make babies -> people can also do it with people of the same physical sex -> sokka running away screaming

he now regrets that.

for zuko, i think he might have. um. hands-on experience. y'know. on the ferry. with jet. does that prepare him for being in an actual relationship? probably not.

i'm not sure either of them would want to ask for guidance tbh. both of them canonically have experience with women (azula saying "mai seems to be in a good mood lately" had an undertone to it, sokka and suki in "the southern raiders") and zuko has some experience with men, so they'd probably just assume it's fine. figure it out as they go. it can't be that hard, right?

that said the image of sokka asking bato for advice on having gay sex is SO funny. bato knew he was signing up to be a dad when he started dating hakoda but he didn't think he'd have to give The Talk. also he has to be really careful about what examples he uses since his current gay sex partner is sokka's dad. (i imagine bato had some other relationships, but they all ended bc they realized he'd never value them above hakoda.) also sokka is asking specifically because he wants to have sex with the fire lord and like bato knew they were dating but he's never gonna get over how weird his life is now. "my stepson is asking me advice on gay sex so he can fuck the fire lord". truly wild.

meanwhile zuko has started spending time at piandao's bc he needs a father figure since iroh fucked off to ba sing se (plus piandao knows fire nation politics & can help him navigate being the fire lord) so he walks in one day and is like "yeah i have a question. not about politics but uhh. personal stuff" and piandao's like "oh what is it" and zuko tells him and piandao is like "i'm so honored you're asking me" and goes to his library and finds him a guide to gay sex that got banned in the fire nation but piandao managed to find a copy (he has a lot of illegal gay lit) and hands it to him like. go have fun kiddo. i'm rooting for you guys.

the other possibility is that suki (who is still dating sokka, they have an open relationship) finds out they want to have sex and knowing the state of their sex ed decides that they need a Lesson. it's a very good lesson because kyoshi island has very good queer positive sex ed but sokka has some interesting feelings about his girlfriend teaching him how to have sex with his boyfriend. not bad feelings. just interesting

ANYWAYS this is a fun topic and thank you for the mental image of sokka asking bato about gay sex

[eretzyisrael]

by Aaron Bandler

DeLuca’s thoughts on the allegations that Israel and her defenders are “pinkwashing”? “Pinkwashing has got to be one of the stupidest things that I’ve ever heard … I grew up in Israel. In the ‘90s, I fought for gay rights. I marched in the first Pride parade,” he said. “When people tell me I’m just pinkwashing something — meaning that I’m talking about the successes of my community as a smokescreen as to not talk about what’s happening in Gaza or the West Bank — that is one of the most ridiculous homophobic and antisemitic things. What I did, the [fights] that I fought, were not so that I had to hide what was happening… in Gaza or the West Bank, I was doing it because that’s the right thing to do and I wanted to fight for my rights. So pinkwashing, in a word, is bulls—.”

The pro-Israel influencer says that he welcomes anti-Israel protesters who come to his speaking events on campuses, “because those are the people that I want to hear, and I want to try to change their mind. Or at least plant a seed so that they think, ‘wait, I heard a different side of it. I might be wrong, let me research a little bit more.’”

DeLuca believes that antisemitism is “much worse” in Canada than it is in the United States. “Here I find, states have a little more power vs. the federal government. In Canada, it’s very much our federal government [that] is the problem,” he opined, citing “our immigration laws allowing the protests to be as antisemitic as they are … Because we have an election coming up next year … there are a lot of people pandering to a demographic of a community that would rather see me dead, and they’re doing nothing about it,” DeLuca said.

DeLuca also pointed out that unlike the United States, Canada has hate speech laws, but they haven’t been enforced against antisemitism since Oct. 7, as there are people walking around with swastikas and saying things like “Heil Hitler.” “Nothing is ever done about it,” DeLuca lamented.

DeLuca has visited the site of the Nova music festival as well as the southern communities that were attacked by Hamas on Oct. 7. Visiting the Nova site was particularly difficult for him because “growing up, that was me. I was one of those kids that was in those forest parties every weekend … everybody there [at the Nova festival] was so young. Everybody there was a kid. Everybody there was literally starting their lives out. They were literally in the army or just after the army, and had their entire life ahead of them. And knowing that these hang gliders came over and people saw them and thought it was part of the festival … to be gunned down like that, literally sitting ducks, that was probably the most difficult thing for me.”

Prior to Oct. 7, DeLuca was “scared for my country because it was so divided.” But after Oct. 7, the Jewish state flipped “into a country that was united. And that’s I think the secret of Israel … we are very different, we are multicultural, we are multifaceted, we have different ideas, we have returned from all parts of the world. But if you push us, we’re one unit.”

As for the communities that were attacked, DeLuca visited one three weeks after Oct. 7 and recalled a particularly pungent smell. A doctor there told him that it was “the calcification of bone fragments that had been blown into the wall. They couldn’t even get them out of the wall,” DeLuca said, adding “I’ve been to Europe. I’ve seen the camps. The camps are nothing compared to what I saw the three weeks after.”

People in Israel, he said, want the war to end so they can return to their homes in the north and in the south. “We need to a) get rid of Hamas… b) bring our hostages back… and finally hopefully we see in Gaza a government that is at least, even if they don’t love Israel, tolerates the fact that we’re there,” DeLuca said.

But “Israel is coming back to what it was” prior to Oct. 7. “If you are in Tel Aviv, you would never know that there is anything happening,” DeLuca said. For a while after Oct. 7, Tel Aviv was “like a ghost town,” but now “it’s back to itself,” he added.

[unforgivablego]

I don't like how people after Comic Con continue to be unhappy. I mean, Neil gave us literally everything. That is, this is the best that he could provide nine months before the release of the S2. The content could've come out much later, I think around May when the official trailer comes out. But we were just given so much interesting cool information literally a year before the release and people just say that they don't like it.

I a little understand why people felt bad abot Neil because of the S1. Like there was no official confirmation of the relationship of the main characters. It meant that the cherished "I love you" didn't sound. Like, the second Sherlock, queerbaiting, Neil wants to get more audience using homo relationships that are so popular right now. But hey, Neil always said that AziCrow were in love. This was long before gay relationships in movies were the norm.

The book was published over 30 years ago. In the fucking book were so many hints of something between the main characters that I don’t understand why people even get pissed off. You don’t need to run far for an example, let’s take everyone’s favorite: “Just remember I’ll have known that, deep down inside, you were just enough of a bastard to be worth liking,” — which literally sounds like “you are a fool, but I love you / you gave your flaming sword to people and impressed me to the depths of the soul,” or when they hold hands, saying their last words to each other before they die, or “Come up with something or… or I’ll never talk to you again,” after which Crowley just stops damn time, because, of course not talking to an angel is much worse than death. Guys, the rest of the characters in the book think that they are together, people and angels, Shadwell generally calls them a couple of Southern pansies (thanks for correct me). “Many people, meeting Aziraphale for the first time, formed three impressions: that he was English, that he was intelligent, and that he was gayer than a treeful of monkeys on nitrous oxide.” — many also liked this moment. And that's not all there is. And the book was published in the 90s!

In the S1 were many new scenes built mainly on the development of their relationship. There were events that were not in the book at all, which were invented specifically for the series to diversify the concept of their "from enemies to lovers" canon. In the third series Neil gave us excerpts from different time periods, in which AziCrow gradually converge.

The most popular scene in 1941, when Crowley runs into the church to pull the angel out of the hands of the enemies, knowing full well that Aziraphale can do it himself at any moment. BUT NO, he like a real knight, runs to save his princess on the consecrated ground, which burns his legs and, most importantly, saves fucking angelic favorite books. “You are important to me, take the books that I saved at the cost of my own life,” — he doesn't say this, but hey, how obvious is it, especially after the words: “I don’t need you, I have lots of people to fraternize with, Angel,” he said in a fit of anger at the last meeting. He apologizes for 1862 and tries to say that he has no one but an angel. When they, a minute earlier, after so many years of quarreling, start such a stupid conversation about a name change:

“- Anthony?

- You don't like it?

- No, no. I don't say that. I'll get used to it”

Because there's nothing that Aziraphale couldn't get used to in Crowley. Despite the differences, they will always be together, they still have a whole life ahead to discuss it. This short, ridiculous conversation is actually very important. Here Crowley understands that Aziraphale in his: “I’ll get used to it,” — informs (yes, that’s the word) that they will see each other again and more than once, that this quarrel is not an obstacle to their relationship. And then Crowley says, very gently, “Lift home,” as if he knows for sure that the angel is okay with it. The only question is, whose home are you going to, Crowley? Since when do you have one concept of home for two?

The whole mess is completed by a freaking shot in which angel looks at Crowley in such a way that here only a stupid person will not understand what the heck he is thinking about. As the background color changes from gray to pinkish, the music, Crowley heroically leaves the frame and this damned love look after him, that the viewer just sits there thinking: "Oh, look at this blushing bastard — he is so in love." All that's missing is some romantic 40s song that starts off with something along the lines of "And I realized..." Because Aziraphale really realizes in this scene that his feelings are mutual. Somewhere someone wrote that in this scene Aziraphale doesn't fall in love with Crowley and I so much agree with this. In this scene, the angel is already in love, but before that he didn't know if Crowley could feel something in return, and the freaking “I don’t need you,” — in 1862 finished him off. He thought Crowley had someone to hang out with besides him, that Crowley doesn't need him. It hurt him. But Crowley had just walked into the church for only him and saved his books at the cost of his life. This is not a moment of awareness of his love, this is not "the princess fell in love with the prince who saved her from the dragon and they lived happily ever after." This is the moment when Aziraphale realizes that YES — he is loved in return.

And Crowley's “I'll give you a lift, anywhere you want to go”, in gratitude for holy water, in 1967. Crowley, you're sitting in a car right across from Aziraphale's shop. Where are you gonna take him? You planned to rob a church a stone's throw from the angel's house. “I'll give you a lift, anywhere you want to go”. To where?

Aziraphale also excelled just great: “No thanks. Perhaps one day we could go for a picnic. Dine at the Ritz,” which definitely means, “One day we'll have a date and I'll let you do whatever you want, but not now”.

“You go too fast for me, Crowley,” — that he said in the end, leaves the viewer in a knockout. Because this phrase makes us understand that they have not been talking about friendship all this time. Here it is, the official confirmation of their love. Aziraphale gives him holy water, which means: “Despite everything, you are very important to me, I don't want to lose you, but I trust you”. He's trying to make sure Crowley knows he's loved. And Crowley understands, Crowley is used to speed and he takes the next step, but Aziraphale stops him: “Can you give me some time?”. Aziraphale is not ready, he just got here and hasn't yet got used to it. The phrase: “You go too fast for me,” sounds in most direct meaning — everything is developing too quickly, I can’t keep up with you, could you wait a little more? It finally hits me.

Fucking flirting in a scene in the Bastille during the French Revolution. Yes, then they still didn't have any definite understanding of what was happening, but I think in those years the atmosphere of the 18th century had a special influence. Debauchery, accessibility, openness and lack of shame in people. It seems to me that this was precisely what caused Aziraphale to flirt so openly and intricately. And of course the clothes. It was so seductive.

This is the best scene ever and I won't stop thinking that. What Michael as Aziraphale is doing here — OMG, his game should be banned from showing to kids because it's freaking so obscene it's embarrassing. The way he just lights up when he hears a familiar voice behind him, the way he pronounces his name, so joyfully, as if it weren't Crowley, but the She Goddes herself, who condescended to talking with a mere mortal. Angel, hello, Crowley just said about the cruelty of people, where did you swim, stop your vulgar thoughts and focus. The way Aziraphale scans him from head to toe, the way he sighs languidly, and then the phrase: “Oh... Good Lord,” said with such an expression as if Crowley had suddenly undressed in front of him. The short appraising looks that the angel gives him, as if Crowley is more sweeter than any pancake for which he swam the channel during the revolution (yes, we definitely believe you, Aziraphale) — these are the looks that are called undressing, here it is, in full physical incarnation. And the situation in which the angel allegedly fell. It's just not possible to describe how obvious it is on purpose. He's handcuffed in a local prison that definitely looks like a dragon's castle, waiting to be killed by the guillotine (isn't that romantic already?), dressed in his chicest outfit, even fucking changed his hair — for the first time in 5,000+ years! — and pretends to be very helpless, playing his standard: “I'm an angel”. He can literally snap his fingers and be home. But what does he do? He lets Crowley take care of him, creating a situation similar to rescuing a poor helpless princess from the tower, while portraying such affected and understandable innocence, as if he is not an angel, but a whore maiden who argues before losing her virginity. And why is he doing all this? Why do you think? Because at the end he just invites Crowley to bloody dinner. I fucking love this scene.

"You're my best friend" playing in the background as Crowley tries to find Aziraphale in the burned down bookshop. And the words: “You make me live, whenever this world is cruel to me,” — just aches in the heart. Even though the angel was wrong a thousand times (only because he tried to protect the two of them, sometimes out of stupidity, angelic naivety and a desire to do everything right — yes, they sometimes behave as stupidly, just like people), Crowley still considers him his closest person (?) (creature rather).

A small heart on Aziraphale's contact screensaver on his phone when Crowley can't get through (maybe an accident).

And then when he walks into a burning bookshop and breaks down for the first time in 6 episodes. He's really emotional in this scene. It's so unexpected that it's unnatural to see him like that. His voice is different, he no longer controls the tone and words, for the first time his walk tense, in this scene he cries, which has never happened before. Aziraphale is dead and Crowley feels and expresses as many emotions as he has never felt and expressed in all the 6,000 years that we have been shown. When Fredy goes into post-chorus in the background, I love that part so much. Did anyone even notice that in this scene he literally confesses his love? At the end, Crowley yells “Somebody killed my best friend!” — I can't, it's just heartbreaking.

“It's a big universe. Even if this all ends in a puddle of goo, we can go off together,” — I won't stop crying from now on, my heart shrinks every time (this is one of my favorite scenes, every word really hurts).

“I don't even like you!” — thrown by the angel for no clear purpose: to convince himself of this or to hurt Crowley. And Crowley's “You do!” in response, because, Aziraphale, who are you trying to fool. 6000 years together and you never once thought about to stop communicating. Potential enemies communicate with each other only in two cases: if they are ordered from Above, or if they themselves want it. Remind me when you received a request from the Heavenly Chancellery: "You must get close to the enemy in order to find out his insidious plans." Don't remember? No one remembers, because there was no such thing.

And when Crowley again offers to run away together in a couple of hours — YES! — Alpha Centauri — the best place to wait out the apocalypse, the main thing is not to forget my husband, otherwise he's not at all a person dear to me and in general we had a fight today, I strongly offended, but without him I won’t move a finger in the direction of escape. I'd rather die right here than start saving my carcass without this stupid feathered asshole.

Also don't forget about «holding hands» scene in a bus.

I’m not sure I have much time to end this digging.

And even this is not enough for people? The series not only improves the book and confirms their romantic line, but with the help of the actors and their wonderful performance, creates a masterpiece using gestures, facial expressions and removing innuendo, taking away the opportunity to imagine something left, allowing you to focus on what your eyes see.

Neil said three hundred times that this is a fucking love story. And people just shit in his canon and say: they didn’t say “I love you”, they don’t fuck, what kind of love is that, you're doing everything for popularity. Shut your fucking mouths! Neil is just tired of repeating endlessly that they are an angel and a demon, they are supernatural entities that do not fall within the framework of human relations. Their love is on another level. They are not gay because angels and demons are genderless, which means they have no gender (which also means they can choose their gender at will and change at will, as Crowley did). They are not asexual, because these concepts are invented also for people.

And you know what? Neil just spat in the faces of the fans with a fucking poster of the AziCrow standing in front of a fucking heart made of wings. “Here it is, just choke with this your's canon, here are both main characters against the background of the wrong organ which means love to you, and just try to say that this is not an official confirmation of their relationship.” He crumpled up a piece of shit that prevented him from living and smeared it all over our faces. “Eat,” he says, “I am a local Goddess here and have descended to give you food (for fanfiction). Don’t thank.”

Neil talked about how after the events of the proposed third season, they would move into a fucking cottage in the St. Downs and live together like fucking old husbands. He gave a nod to Crowley's already-acting move to Aziraphale's bookshop at Comic-Con, showing exactly that moment from S2 and no other. In a bloody interview after the panel, he revealed that this season is gonna be "quiet and gentle and romantic" compared to the first and hypothetically third season, and given that the show will have 2 kisses - just choke on fucking tears of happiness. He bombarded Tumblr with answers to leading questions, gave information about when the S2 would be released approximately, leaked new characters, a teaser, part of the plot, a concept photo and people like: we don’t like it. So what is wrong with you, guys? Because I believe that what we have is the best that could be, the best that we could have. And we got it for absolutely nothing.

Yes, golden potato jokes are funny, I wrote a couple myself. And kindly mocking Neil can be fun too, especially when we get the same thing in return. It's a relationship between the author and the fandom, and I really like it. But let's at least sometimes be understanding and patient. I don't like to watch other people's dissatisfaction knowing how much Neil has done for us. So I want you to don't forget about it too. No need to buzz about the teaser and video that we didn't get for Christmas. We all want to please Beelzebub with a tick in front of the task “Annoy Neil every day”, but can we show angelic patience? Neil knows what he's doing. Let's trust him.

[o0anapher0o]

Miss Lily and character stereotpyes

I’ve been re-reading @halo4life2017-blog's rewatch blogs and the discussion we had about Miss Lily and about how Lestat might at some point tell us he only killed her because she was actually planning on blackmailing Louis or something like that, and I had some more thoughts I need to get out.

The thing about Lily as Louis presents her is, she’s a stereotype. The ‘whore with the heart of gold’ is a common trope. It’s a cliché the same way the though, street-hard, black pimp is, or the rich European genteel who is abhorred by American racism, the stately southern matron who saves face at all cost even if it means waving off a guests outburst with a comment about the weather, the sassy little sister who supports her gay brother and only wants to see him happy, or the religious zealot who is really a gentle angel when he’s not possessed by the holy spirit. All those are sterotypes that Louis uses when he introduces the people in his life to the story, ways he tries to shape the narrative perception of them. Or maybe lies he tells himself about them.

And all of these stereotypes get dismantled within the first episode: Louis is really a sensitive baby gay who likes to read and cries at the opera. Lestat is a terrifying vampire, who we can rightfully assume has never cared about how black people are treated anywhere prior to meeting Louis, and really still doesn’t.  Florence is an emotionally abusive bitch who happily unloads her own grief on her child, Grace is mommy little princess who deserts Louis when he needs her most to side with Florence and Paul is a condescending brat who shamelessly uses his mental illness for the liberties it gives him (we don’t talk about it enough because mental illness is tricky and Paul is a great character, but the way he acts towards Grace’s fiancé and wedding, and how he talks to the priests when he goes to confession are on a level of entitlement that’s breathtaking. And that’s instances when he’s supposedly ‘right in the head’. My favourite is ‘I wasn’t being rude”, like, yes, you were. Just because the voices in your head told you to say it doesn’t mean it’s not rude to say it and the fact that you’re trying to justify it tells me you know that.).

You could probably make a similar case almost all other characters, Bricktop, Tom Anderson, Levi, all of them are initially presented in a very stereotypical way and later we’re shown they are not quite what they seem at first (Fenwick might be the exception here, he’s always a horrible racist pig). Except for Lily. She never gets the chance to be shown as more, because she gets killed off-screen and is never brought up again.

But we do get hints that everything isn’t as Louis presents it with Lestat’s throwaway comment on her wretched life, or the fact that it takes Louis two weeks to even notice she was dead, which tells me they weren’t as close as some people seem to believe. (Yes, he was a regular customer, one she might even have liked but they definitely weren’t friends.). So yeah, I won’t be surprised if we do learn about some nefarious goings on she was involved in. That’s not to make Lestat look better btw, he did kill her and the main reason was no doubt to get a reaction from Louis and/or to dismantle his support system, but I do think there was more to it than that just ‘she was a poor substitute’. And just as a side note: since we tend to treat Louis as an unreliable narrator (justifiably so) if and when the time comes we certainly need to look at Lestat’s story the same way, because I’m pretty sure if anyone is trying to make Lestat look better, it’s going to be Lestat.