#need mental family fandom
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I'm in need of a smut story right now 🥲, anyone please give me links to read various fandoms specifically for Seiya and the Bronze Saint ( shun, hyoga, shiryu, ikki,) please!!!!!! Aggghhhhhhhhrrrr😫😫😫😫😫
#need mental family fandom#slasher x reader#gold saints#me with hot slasher#disney villain story twd#genshin impact#saint seiya lovers😍#hazbin hotel#angel dust with hot geantlemam male fem reader😏😁#anything please😭🙏#need shun ikki shiryu hyoga fandom#saint seiya my idol
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Sometimes a character is written so badly that He exhibits bpd syndromes
#hear me out#that makes sense#their entire family is prone to mental illness#arthur pendragon#merlin#merlin bbc#bpd Arthur Pendragon#I need fanfic now#give me#uther pendragon#bbc merlin#the once and future fandom#merthur#arthur pendragon headcanon
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Why Do People Never Let Ian's Bipolar Be About IAN?
This does get rambly and ranty and might annoy people. So beware.
Honestly so fed up of looking for good fics about Ian's Bipolar and most of them being about Mickey's feelings on it, and from Mickey's POV, and how hard it is for him to see Ian like that and how stressful it is on him.
Yes, loved ones of people struggling with Mental Illnesses go through a lot and that's important to acknowledge.
But why aren't there more fics about how Ian feels about his Bipolar? How hard it is for him? How he feels when he's manic or depressed? How he feels after an episode? Him having to deal with living his life with Bipolar? How he interacts with the world as someone with Bipolar? Him getting to defend himself if someone is ableist towards him? How he feels about the Psych Ward? How he feels about the way everyone (including Mickey) sometimes speaks about him?
And this is the opposite of that, but I'd also love fics that explore the Gallagher's feelings on it. Especially the younger ones as that was never really explored in the show. How awful Debbie and Carl must've felt in that moment where they go to Mickey's house and see Ian laying in bed unresponsive and realise what's happening. How it must've felt to watch their big brother who was always so reliable and steady be brought down by the same thing as Monica. Liam's feelings on having helped Frank profit off his mania, which wasn't on Liam as he was a child being manipulated by his Father, but surely he would've later realised what was going on and had feelings about it. Debbie's fear at hearing Fiona tell Mickey that he could end up suicidal. But also Fiona and Lip. Having to see their little brother go through this. We got a bit more of that in the show though.
But mostly, like I said, I want more about how IAN feels about everything. One of my favourite moments from the show is him fighting for his EMT job. It's so important. It's him fully accepting that he is Bipolar and that it is a disability and fighting to still get to live a fulfilling life. Realising that being Bipolar isn't the end of his world, that he can still do something with his life. That Monica was right when she said that people like them can be happy, even if her way of getting that wasn't healthy. And the story leading up to that of him realising what being Bipolar means outside of the actual Disorder. What it means for him in the world as a member of society. That first moment of discrimination for being Bipolar. And him at first feeling defeated by it, but then deciding to fight. And I know we all hate Caleb, but he DID help Ian in some ways. He pushed him to fight for his job. Did he say things in the best way? No. But he did clearly believe that Ian really had it in him to be an EMT and saw it as bullshit that being Bipolar could keep him from that. And Ian fought. And he won. He knew his rights. He knew that he was being kept from work due to being Bipolar. And he knew that that was discrimination and not okay and he said it. And he got his job back and gained the respect of his co-workers.
And I wish people would write about that sort of thing more. Instead of having someone be ableist towards him and him just getting sad and Mickey getting protective and defending him then taking him home and comforting him, have Ian stand up for himself like he did in that scene. Yes, sometimes you need someone to stand up for you and then comfort you. It can be nice to have someone who will defend you so you don't have to constantly do it yourself. But it's such a big part of Ian's character that he DOESN'T need Mickey to step in and defend him. He can do it himself. And he will. In fics Mickey gets to stand up to Terry himself and doesn't need Ian to do it for him, why is Ian not allowed the same thing?
Same with when dealing with Frank, or Kash/Ned. Somehow it always ends up feeling like it's more about Mickey than Ian. How he feels about the people who hurt Ian. Him defending him and telling them off. Why can't Ian get to do that more?
Ian is more than capable of defending himself. And more than capable of kicking someone's ass. He has ROTC training. He can fire a gun perfectly. He took Mickey out with one punch to the neck. He was beating the shit outta Terry in 4x11 before someone smashed a chair over his back. Frank said in the Pilot that he could "disembowel an enemy with a roll of dimes and an old gym sock." He said in S1 that he broke a guys leg in Karate so bad it took three pins to put it back together. He can fight, and he can HURT people. Just because he usually prefers not to doesn't mean he can't or won't. Because he has shown that he can and will. He's not some Damsel in Distress who needs Mickey to come and save him all the time. This is why I kinda hate the scenes of Carl and Kelly teaching Ian to fight before he's going to Prison. As if he's not the one who Carl was asking to teach him new knife grips in S3, as if he doesn't have all that ROTC training, as if he's never fought in his life and doesn't know even the basics. It should've been more framed as them helping him touch up on the stuff he already knows, that he was doing long before they were. Stuff that it honestly sounds like he might've been teaching Carl when he was younger. Just having him say to them "Hey, I haven't done this stuff properly in years and just wanna make sure I can still do it. Wanna help?" Instead of framing it like he'd never done this before and they just knew so much more than he did.
And why can't he process these things with one of his siblings sometimes? And this is just my love for platonic relationships coming out. But I wish there were more fics about Ian and his siblings. Especially Debbie and Carl. I've read a few that focus on him and Lip or Fiona, and Liam too. But there's just something so special about his relationships with Debbie and Carl and the fics are sorely lacking. (But even the Fiona, Lip and Liam ones tend to be more focused on Gallavich. I LOVE Gallavich, but I need more fics where Ian gets to exist within his family without Mickey...)
Honestly I just need more fics where Ian gets to exist as his own person and not just as Mickey's husband.
That's what this post is about really. I am really focused on this right now. The fandoms treatment of Ian makes me sick. (Along with some other characters...)
I also would love for more of him with Kev and/or Veronica. I feel like that was underutilised in the show. He got a few scenes with Kev over the seasons, and a couple with V too. But others got full stories focused around their friendships with them, but Ian didn't. (Just as he was the only one who never had a meaningful story with Frank, which I kinda like as a plot point, but would like more if they actually MADE IT a plot point instead of it just being that they very rarely interact, when they do it's negative and Ian never really has any feelings about that...) There could've been a really interesting story arc when Svetlana was starting her relationship with them and they were becoming parents to Yevgeny. Ian seeing this and feeling happy that Svetlana is happy, and that Yevgeny has such good parents in his life, but also feeling some sadness due to losing that relationship due to his mania. Feeling that grief of the family dynamic that they'd built between S4&5, and at having to see these people he loves be parents to the kid he loved as his own while he couldn't because his mania ruined that for him. Maybe even eventually having Svetlana give him another chance. Have it be emotional, but then have a kinda comedic story of Ian, Kev and V realising that they have become coparents and then a sweet story of them figuring that extra dynamic out. This would be good for multiple reasons.
But back to what started this post, sorry for the rambles. I am fed up of IAN'S Bipolar being made about Mickey.
Not even just in fics.
The amount of posts or comments on things that I'll see that are all "Poor Mickey" "Mickey is struggling with this so much" "This is so hard for Mickey" "Mickey hates seeing Ian like this" "This must be so scary for Mickey" etc pisses me off. What about Ian? You know, the one who actually HAS Bipolar? The one who while manic enlisted in the Army under his brothers identity, then proceeded to try to steal a helicopter and surface to air missiles (that one is never talked about... by anyone. Not even in the show. When the MPs find Lip they list that as one of the things he tried to steal and everyone just brushes past it. WTF did he want them for?!) and then went AWOL. Then stayed with his ex (one of the men who groomed him as a teen), ended up kicked out, then lived in a crack house with his mother who is also Bipolar, ended up working in a strip club and selling himself and doing drugs and starving himself, then his mother left him there, eventually ended up back home, then had a depressive episode (I always wonder if that was his first or if he'd had one before anyone found him but just didn't know what it was and couldn't process it as he was unmedicated. Part of me wonders if he had his first while staying in that crack house with Monica and if maybe that was when she left... I feel like it could make sense...) had his entire family trying to get him to see a doctor because they're convinced (rightly so) that he has the same thing that they seem to hate Monica for (they hate her for leaving and the things she did to hurt them, but it often gets so twisted that it comes off as hating her for being Bipolar in the first place...) except Mickey who is adamant he's fine and is protecting him from having to talk to a doctor and defending him to his siblings until suddenly he's not after Ian MADE A PORNO that is out there forever and he has to live with that forever, so he ran off with the baby he loves as his own, sells himself again to get money to buy stuff for Yev, ends up convinced that the Police who are trying to "take his baby" were sent by JESUS (which is absolutely heartbreaking and I wish they'd gone into that a little more because Ian had a lot of religious trauma when it came to his Bipolar, and I know that religious delusions are pretty common in Bipolar and Schizophrenia, but I always wonder if that was also in part due to him being gay and literally earlier in the season having to deal with religious homophobes...) then thought he was being chased by Demons sent by an Angel, then he ended up sedated and arrested (the arresting officer seemed kind and understanding, which was such a relief...) and then he was in the Psych Ward and he did not like it and it was clearly traumatising for him and his meds were just making him totally numb. Then he was out of there, with a diagnosis he didn't believe but everyone else did, and meds he had to take but didn't want to because they made him feel like LIFE WASN'T WORTH LIVING (also, wish people would explore how Debs must've felt hearing him say that...) so he flushed them and then had his sister using the same tactics on him that they used to use on Monica and that must've just felt so shitty. But also, Mickey wasn't there. The first thing Carl said to him was "What does it feel like to be crazy?" And I don't hold it against Carl, he was a scared kid with no reference for how to be more sensitive about that stuff, but man that must've hurt. (Also, I think about the look on Ian's face when Carl says it could be him next so much! He looked so upset! He would never want that for his little brother!) Then Mickey's back, yay! But then he's waking up absolutely terrified because he's convinced there are MPs trying to get in the house to take him away, and he almost hits Debbie with a bat. Then he's getting told that he's likely going to have to be on these meds that he HATES for FORTY YEARS! Possibly longer. Basically this is something he has to deal with his whole life.
Then he's having to deal with adjusting to the meds, and everyone fussing over him like he's a child and just everyone treating him differently. He puts his hand on a hot stove just to feel something. And he opens up to Sammi about the Army. Also, first time he refers to himself as mentally ill. First time he really acknowledges that. And he manages to open up to Mickey about how the meds make him feel, about how he needs Mickey to be his boyfriend and his partner instead of just his caretaker. And it seems that Mickey is understanding that. He stops protesting at Ian having a beer, they go home happy and plan a proper date. Then fucking Sammi reveals she's called the MPs and they're there to arrest him. Literally the episode before this his first scene was him being absolutely terrified due to believing they were there trying to get him, and now they really are. And he is dragged out of there screaming. He's feeling betrayed because he opened up to Sammi and she threw it back in his face. And he's terrified. Then he has to hear his siblings talk about him like he's not there, talk about how bad his Bipolar is, talk about how he's been acting crazy, how their mother with the same thing made their lives hell, how he sometimes can't take care of himself, list all the things he did while manic. And they're doing it to help him. They love him and want him home and safe, but hearing them say all that would hurt! And then his Mum is there, telling him all this stuff about everyone wanting to fix them and how he'll never be able to make them happy because of that. And how is he supposed to not believe that when he's just had to listen to his siblings say all that? When he's just been dealing with everyone treating him like their patient instead of brother and boyfriend. When he already feels he's just been hurting everyone he loves. So when he's released he goes with her because she gets it, and they can just be fucked up together where they can't hurt anyone and everyone will be better off without him. But then while he's with her she talks about bad things that happened when he was a kid like they're fun and good memories, and she's dating a drug dealer who cooks meth and is just awful, and she tells him they CAN be happy. And he goes home. But he's feeling terrible about himself still, he still feels like he's just a burden on everyone, especially Mickey. So he breaks up with him because the thought of keeping him tied to him like that destroys him. Oh, and you know, that scene at the bridge where he was very clearly thinking of jumping because he was so depressed and felt his life was over... Ya know, that little scene.
Why is it never about all that? Why is it almost always "Poor Mickey having to see him like this" and "Mickey is such a great boyfriend for dealing with this!" And like, yes, it obviously sucks for Mickey having to see the man he loves like that. And yes, certain things that happened during that time hurt Mickey. And yes, he's a good boyfriend who tries his best to take care of Ian. But WHY is that so much more important to people than the person who's brain has turned against him and blown up his entire life?
I know why. Ableism. Plain and simple.
And the show could be guilty of this at times too. So much of the story of him first showing symptoms and then his diagnosis were from other character's POV. Especially Mickey's. We get a bit of a shift in 5x06 when he takes Yevgeny, and then him in the Psych Ward. But then it kinda shifts back to other characters again. A moment I think about a lot is when Ian and Mickey go to the clinic to get Ian's meds after the incident with the bat. It's a good scene, and I would say it's more Ian's POV. But I kinda wish the scene had ended on a shot of Ian instead of Mickey. Don't get me wrong, showing both reactions to the doctor saying Ian would be on the meds for at least 30-40 years was important, but I kinda wish that it had gone from Ian to Mickey and back to Ian again. I just think it's kind of important how a scene closes and who that last shot is of. And in that moment, it should've been Ian because this was about HIM. And by ending it on Mickey, it feels kind of more focused on Mickey than Ian. And I hate that. In that moment, Ian should've been the focus. Just as there are moments that Mickey should be the focus. (Like there should've been scenes from Mickey's POV about 3x06 and the aftermath...)
I'm just fed up. I want more fics about Ian as a person outside his relationship with Mickey. I want more people talking about Ian outside his relationship with Mickey. More people acknowledging Ian's relationships with his family and friends.
I love Mickey. I love Gallavich. I love reading fics about them. And I DO enjoy fics where Mickey is taking care of Ian. But when that's basically all I can find it gets boring and exhausting.
I want more fics from Ian's POV about his own Disorder and traumas. I want more fics about Ian's relationships with his siblings. I want more fics of Ian with characters other than Mickey. Like, let him and Tami bond over their experiences being groomed and learn to truly process that with someone who understands. Let him have days out with just Franny. Let him bond with Veronica over their medical knowledge. Spend time with Kev. Let him have feelings over when Carl was trying to get into Westpoint. WHY wasn't there a scene between them about when Carl was rejected from Westpoint where he goes to talk to Ian because he knows he understands?! Why was there basically NOTHING between them when Carl started Military School and was wanting to go to Westpoint? I loved the scenes of them running together and I loved the scene where Carl told Ian he was considering not going to Military School because Dom wanted to get back together and Ian told him not to. But where were the scenes acknowledging that this was Ian's dream that got ripped away from him by his Bipolar? Where was the scene of Ian telling Carl he's proud of him? Of Carl going to him for advice? Why did they have to make Ian dismiss Debbie's sexuality? Why couldn't they have them bond? Or at least if they wanted to keep that first scene of her coming out to him and him saying she's not, have a scene later in the episode where he apologises to her and explains that he's just scared for her because he doesn't want her to have to go through the stuff he's had to or that the people he was helping during the Gay Jesus arc were going through and that because that was still SO fresh and literally at the front of his mind that fear took over and he just didn't want that for Debbie. That could've been interesting. Instead they just decided that the one person in the family who should've been the most understanding and helpful to her when she was questioning her sexuality is actually just going to totally invalidate it and never provide a reason. Because the fear of someone you love going through the same thing you've had to your whole life is going to make you act irrationally and maybe do or say things you shouldn't, and that could've been really interesting. Instead it just wasn't. Instead it was just everyone telling Debbie she wasn't gay and then suddenly that just stops and it's never mentioned again that anyone was saying that. Let it be an ACTUAL story with genuine feelings between two queer siblings who love each other instead of whatever that was meant to be.
#shameless us#shameless#ian gallagher#mickey milkovich#gallavich#gallagher family#ableism#ableism in fandoms#people need to stop#let disabled people have voices#let platonic relationships be just as important as romantic ones#let ian gallagher be his own character instead of viewing him as an extension of mickey#he's not just there to be whatever you need for mickey#whether that be a loving husband#or someone for mickey to take care of#or someone to use to hurt mickey#this goes for so many disabled characters#it feels like some weird saviour complex#and i hate it#let ian's bipolar be about ian#but also let his siblings have feelings about it too#and again#mickey is allowed feelings about it#you are allowed to write fics about mickey's feelings about it#but we need to talk about ian's feelings about it more#because my mental health is my own#no one else's#if someone came and said that my family is so amazing for dealing with me i'd be so hurt#or just constantly made my shit about everyone around me#i'm not bipolar
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I've been thinking a lot about Loki and Frigga these days, I don't think she's an evil, manipulative monster like some people but I do think she's a very flawed mother, from what we see in the movies she's very quick to justify and sugarcoat Odin's actions, Yes there's a deleted scene where she confronts him about Thor's banishment but it was deleted for a reason, in the movie itself we see her telling Loki that "there's always a purpose to everything your father does", she's always defending him, never her sons and that tells us a lot about the kind of mother she is, idk if it's bc she puts her position as queen above her position as a mother but she always stand by Odin's side no matter what.
Ofc we know she asks Odin not to kill Loki in tdw but that's just the bare minimum she could do, she always does everything thinking about pleasing Odin above all, she goes visiting Loki as a illusion, in secret to not anger her husband, when Loki is going through the trauma of finding out the truth about his adoption she never acknowledges any responsability for what she and Odin did, she justifies his lies agian by saying he lied to protect Loki
She doesn't acknowledge Loki's pain or his right to be angry at them, she tells him he's their son as if that's enough to heal his wounds, she doesn't ask for forgiveness and doesn't offer Loki any comfort bc her husband was taking a nap and she had to stay by his side at all seconds, it doesn't matter that her son had his whole sense of identity stripped away from him, holding Odin's hand was way more important than giving Loki a hug or anything else
I think at some moment Loki realized that she cared more about being Odin's queen than being their mother bc she'd never stand up for her sons and defend them from the abuses Odin put them through, she just kept justifying it bc she wouldn't dare going against her king, it must've hurt for Loki, realizing that he was truly all by himself in Asgard, he couldn't count on his own mother to publicly defend him from the humiliations he undoubtedly suffered, she would just sneak into his chambers and whisper some words of encouragement privately but when in public he was entirely on his own and he knew it
That's why I care more about Loki reuniting with his friends/found family than him going to New Asgard or to Asgard in the past, I have no doubts that he loves his family with his whole heart and he wants to see them again but I love the new family he built for himself in the show, he has Mobius who will defend him with everything he has and will be his emotional support, validating his feelings and genuinely listening to him, he NEVER felt like he belonged in Asgard but in the show he finally found his place, he found the people he belonged to (as stated by the crew) and he fought to save them for hundreds of years so there's no way I'd want him to leave his new home for him to go back to the place where he was mistreated, belittled and mocked just for being who he was, I want him to stay in the place where feels free to be his true self thank you very much
(Ofc that doesn't mean I don't want him and Thor to reunite again, I just think it's best for him to stay with the people he chose to be his family)
#loki#loki series#loki meta#Mobius#Frigga#Frigga tries her best as long as she doesn't anger her husband and I think Loki deserves better than this#I don't think this makes her a monster but it does make her VERY flawed#like she's not the perfect mother the fandom paints her to be but she's also not the Most Evil Monster Ever#she's complex and I think she places her place as Odin's queen above all else#a truly good mother would have protected her sons from Odin's abuse instead of enabling it#all this to say that Loki deserves better#tva family#loki build his little found family and i'm so proud of him for it#let him be with the people he chose and who he feels comfortable with#even if he went back to asgard eith his new mentality that wouldn't change the way his people view him#it also wouldn't change how Odin views and treats him and ofc the asgardians would treat Loki in the same way their king does#it has always been like this imo#Odin treats Loki like trash so ofc the asgardians feel free to treat him the same#he needs to be protected from that toxic enviroment#he suffered enough#let him be happy for god's sake#Odin is a trash bag#Odin#anyway just let Loki be with his found family bc he loves them so much#he deserves it
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i think light yagami is "socially adept" in terms of being able to reason out relatively well what to say and do to come off as a harmless and good and polite young man who is likeable to be around. however i do not think "socially adept" (or "neurotypical") typically comes with having to preface every other normal-passing action and statement with a minor crisis of "ah shit. quick, what would i say/do in response to this if i was light yagami, a normal and nice and respectable young man?"
everyone likes to talk about him talking about kira in third person but can we acknowledge that he also talks about LIGHT in third person. i'm not adding manga panels at 3:57am but y'all know exactly which ones i mean
#light is decent at masking but he is NOT coming off as perfect to anyone who looks at him with a critical eye. like L or near#it's just that a lot of people take him at face value#he's handsome he gets top grades his dad is the police chief his family adores him girls like him etc#and he gets to skate off of that a lot until someone comes around and questions the mask#he unravels so fast once he gets closer to L. he fucks up the misa thing so badly even HE has to admit to L's face#that kira probably didn't think things through with the second kira and kind of panicked#ughhhhhhhhhhh i have so many thoughts about him. he works very hard to come off as socially competent. it's a learned skill not innate#i firmly believe there is some shit going on w light in terms of mental conditions. HOWEVER#i also believe he was relatively 'normal' up until the death note sent a lot of that shit spiralling#lots of mentally ill people live pretty normal lives it turns out! a lot of us can get by and sort of manage!#even if it means masking and coping as needed#i don't think you have to be mentally ill to react to the death note the way light did#i do think it oiled some clockwork that was already ticking though#anyway. light is socially competent to some degree because he tries to be. sometimes it backfires. sometimes he misses. normal stuff#trying to say he is objectively socially adept or inept is futile though#but ig what is death note without black and white thinking and what is the dn fandom without diving into the nuances under the surface layer
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Slowly, yet painfully realizing that we're probably the exact type of person that random fandom guys would miscast as a father.
#we speak#internet teenagers keep coming to us as like the only authority figure on hand who will treat them like people#and we're like... please... we don't want to be an authority figure... why do all of your parents suck so hard...#like we're willing to offer ourself as an anchor as well as we can because we've Been there and know how it feels#but like damn. who the fuck let your families suck this bad. how on earth have situations managed to produce enough of you#that we end up being cast as The Only Adult On Hand Willing To Listen And Talk Through Things MULTIPLE TIMES#and perhaps more importantly why are we the only person in random fandom discords who is willing to treat teenagers like People#weren't the rest of you also teenagers at some point??? don't you like remember how it feels like to not have agency for shit???#experiencing the “only person in the room who's willing to take a position” thing#despite there being like multiple other people in the room who should be WAY more qualified for this#how does this keep happening and more importantly why are we the only guy in the area who is doing anything to help#just to stress this point#we are trying our hardest to NOT be an authority figure because historically it ends terrible for us due to The Mental Health Issue#but somehow we are continually running into situations where we're the only guy willing to come up to plate#the syndromes. the issues. we are so fucking glad that this particular wave is coming now instead of A Few Years Ago#something something progress but also we dislike that we have to be the one handling these situations#because we shouldn't be considered a primary point of stability in anyone's life and the fact that we ARE a stable point to anyone is uhh#weird to think about. who let this happen. we're not old enough to be a parent#and we also find it very alarming that there are so many of you out there who are severely lacking in support#someone needs to work out a childcare arrangement system that doesn't suck because the current one really isn't doing it#while we're at it we can start overhauling the culture that landed us in being the only person willing to listen to people like ever#and maybe make it so we don't have to be a primary support because people are sufficiently supported already
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Oh this is hysterical
#i am addicted to zoro slander it’s so unfortunate it is the least common slander in the whole fandom#this man is a doofus he’s a moron he sits on his ass while nami shovels the snow off the deck and sleeps while she busts her ass#he’s a dick and he picks on others and then laughs when they tell him to stop bullying him#(source: in punk hazard he did this to brook. brook literally said ‘stop bullying me’)#he insinuated that robin should not have been fought by a foe at full strength because ‘she’s a woman’#actually insinuated isn’t right. he straight up said it#i know people think sanji thinks women are weak and that’s why he doesn’t hit them or saves the girls but#he saves EVERYONE. and does it not because he thinks anyone is weak#(he has on numerous occasions praised nami and robin’s strenth. and he has trusted them both to save HIM when he needed it)#he saves others because he doesn’t want to see his friends hurt. that’s it. he is the kindest of the crew. having turned multiple foes into#allies just by being nice#oh but anyway. the reason he doesn’t hit women is because Zeff threatened to castrate him if he ever did#so… saying that to a child has an impact#and if Sanji is so scared of disappointing zeff that he wouldn’t let SOMEONE ELSE kill his physically and mentally abusive family#then he probably isn’t going to disobey him on the women thing#it’s probably not even abt the castration anymore he just has fucking stockholm syndrome#zeff was abusive too but i think he’s desperate for a father and doesn’t want to let him down#he and Usopp have Issues with admiring terrible dads#anyway
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#while it was very much a traumatic series of events that left me with horrible mental health I just find it funny how my fixation#of family bonds in fandoms is a result of both my parents abandoning me#and then being told by my grandpa that he and my gran never wanted to take me in either and only wanted a free sitter#and then basically finding out I most likely will not be able to have kids myself even though i want to be a parent so bad#because of a combination of things#woohoo let's just live vicariously through fictional characters and get deeply attached#and give them the love and care I needed#honestly if i had just been given up at birth instead of cared for at first until my mom had healthier non disabled kids#it probably wouldn't affect me as much that I wasn't wanted#I was loved once but the moment she found out she could actually have more kids it was over
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me, 30 minutes ago: its 1 am and i should sleep <3
me, immediately after: refreshes tumblr, decidedly does not go to sleep
#i say this like its funny haha#but tbh it is mostly because i am so fucking. Devastated about the horrible shit happening to palestinians#i saw so many videos and pictures today of such horrible things that they’re suffering through right now#and im seeing it through a screen from my safe little bubble in my house and its still destroying me emotionally and mentally#i cant imagine the fear and horror they must be feeling in gaza#and the fact that they have probably felt this fear and horror for a very long time because of israel’s ethnic cleansing of their people#im in such a privileged position and the least i can do is spread awareness and i donated what i could and i have plans to reach out to my l#local government and encourage them to speak up and condemn the genocide of palestine and im looking for local protests and shit like#im gonna do what i can but i know i cant do enough as just a singular individual with low social impact and not a lot of money#but i’ll still do what i can no matter what#i wouldnt be able to live with myself knowing i sat back and said nothing while the palestinians suffered so much#which honestly i already did because i wasn’t educated about it prior to this past week and thats entirely my fault#i mean partially i know its western civilization not showing the horrors that israel has committed but i try to stay in the loop on things#and try to be aware of things happening in the world and i failed to become aware of this before now#i could have been doing more for years to try and spread awareness for palestine and i never did and i wish i could go back and change that#but i cant#but what i CAN do is speak up now that i know and spread awareness and refuse to let palestine go down without a fight#sorry this is a fandom sideblog i know ive been posting a lot on my main blog and i do need to go to bed and whatever#its just hard to sleep knowing that as i sit here safe and comfortable in my bed there are children families innocent people dying in gaza#and the world is actively and successfully trying to paint palestine as the bad guys#its fucking awful and despicable
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when you realise that the emotional hurt you just experienced is actually fine because you're a writer and can just channel it and it only just gives you more to work with
#completely mentally stable things#im dying#i need to be held while i cry#there is nothing else i need more (REAL)#i deserve a found family :(#even tho i kind of like my family#well almost all times sigh#i still deserve a found family tho#sad jay era#sorry to everyone who followed me for fandom posts#and also because i reblogged everything else on tumblr#sorry u have to see this#doesnt help that all ive been doing all day is reading hurt/comfort fics#SIGH#i genuinely hate everything about me rn#idek man#like okay listen i Love my family and i have UNCOUNTABLE good moments with them#and ig the not so good ones are inescapable but ffs man#hate it when life pushes me out of my comfort zone ig#kms kms kms#the period cramps are NOT helping either#AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHSH i fucking hate it here like genuinely HATE it#not even like my family#maybe i just hate myself#fuck feeeeeeeeellingssssssssssss#lemme just go drown jn yet another piece of media#because escapism and mental illness#its 3am and i have to be up by like 7 but like who gives a shit man#KDBEKEBEKBEIWBEIEBEKEBWOQNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHEBEJBEIRG4I3BOEBSOSBSOWHWOSBOSBWWBWKBWKQBKD#i just want someone to love me like skz love eo ig :( and thats all the tags :( tumblr wont even let me RANT >:(
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,
#I need to get into some slice of life enemies to lovers type shit#I have this one fic idea I’m pretty much married to by virtue of it staying out me on my backburner for literal years#I divorced myself from the fandom this fic was initially destined for and like I became aware of how OOC it was to slap that on the ship#but like#literally almost every fandom I’ve had since has been drowned by angst and some form of personal mental unwellness#maybe my aro awakening just makes it hard for me to ship things#maybe my taurean need to witness a mess in motion only makes me wanna ship deeply dysfunctional stuff#(jk I don’t actually believe in star signs 😭)#all that to say I don’t have a ship that fits the slice of life enemies to lovers fic I have right now#I’m too married to it to change it up enough for self publishing purposes and it’s kinda very self indulgent if niche as all hell#heck even with my obsession with Clive where he’s surrounded by shippable characters#none of them fit the enemies to lovers thing one to one#it’s either bittersweet camerderie or toxic toxic only enemies forever and ever#even their modern AUs it’s the same dynamic#like maybe Jason with KyleJay no capes but like#they don’t interact enough for me and like KyleConner be looking kinda cute to me ngl#it doesn’t help that I pretty much only like Jason fics where it’s exploring his deeply dysfunctional familial relationships#(my only toxic trait is still shipping royjay on the dl mostly platonically but still)#(not as toxic as being obsessed with train wreck interpersonal relationships but still 😭)#(ik it’s unpopular to ship I ship dickroy too 😭 let me multiship and be wrong in peace)#anyways gosh I need to get into some good enemies to lovers I would love to endgame ship o(-(#also it can’t be a sapphic ship because it’s got some fuckery only toxic masculinity can achieve o(-(#maybe a butch for butch ship if I can find one in this economy o(-(#…#I have a lot of sapphic enemies to lovers ships than I previously realised#is that why I don’t have any for mlm shit 💀#of is it because I’m more forgiving of women that’s why enemies to lovers comes more naturally for me when it comes to them??#or am I just yuri brained OTL#maybe I should adopt this toxic mentality and find an enemies to lovers ship somewhere#not with Clive the male villains are entirely irredeemable 💀
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I genuinely agree with your take. It's true that the trauma Rayla experienced doesn't excuse her actions, but it deeply explains the reasoning behind it. And in a way, you see Amaya soften up after seeing herself in Rayla in terms of being stoic, strong, and lonely in handing things alone. She's opened up more. Callum refuses to let Rayla push him away, that everything they do and face, they do it together, accepting his help and leaning on him for support. Little by little, she's growing and maturing, and I'm proud of her. There's still a long way to go for her, but she will get there.
With all the time that all four of Rayla's parents have spent self-reflecting, whether in the coins or while being alone and self-isolated from the community over the last two years, I sincerely hope that it can transition to all five of them reconciling, healing and repairing their broken, fractured family. No doubt that all 4 of her parents are incredibly scarred, haunted, devastated, and extremely hurt by the failures and negligence committed. Imagine the uncontrollable, horrifying nightmares they must be having of Rayla, being tormented by her memory every night. Their hurt, pain, heartbreak, emotional/psychological torture, and suffering are perhaps far worse than we imagined. I wouldn't even know where to begin with addressing Moonfam's family issues. But they deserve to have their family again after all they've been through.
But Rayla also has a right to feel and express her anger, resentment, disdain, animosity, and even her rage towards all four of her parents for what they put her through. Let her say what she needs to say. Let Rayla be angry and messy.
Seeing people crap on arc two Rayla genuinely makes me sad. I don't think many people truly realize the depth of Rayla's isolation. What happened to all the characters in arc one was horrible (I am not down playing that), Callum and Ezran lost their father, and Soren lost his family, but they all had Katolis to go back to. Their home. Rayla lost EVERYTHING. She lost the assassins who she grew up with and trained her, she lost her home, and worst of all she lost her parents. She lost Runaan and Ethari in one go, only months after her parents. And all she had to remember them by was what they taught her. And they taught her self sacrifice, they taught her to do questionable things in the name of protection and the greater good. Viren threatened everything she loved which WAS Callum and Ezran, and she thought he was still alive. She was stuck in fight or flight mode, she was bathed in trauma. And she had a point in TTM, everyone was just moving on, and didn't take or let her have anytime to truly grieve. She was in such a dark place in TTM and it influenced her decisions. She knows she did something wrong, she knows she hurt Callum. She hasn't brought herself to apologize yet, but why did we stop treating her as human? (Or elf, as it were)
Also hi, I've recently been liberated from TDP reddit
#he gets it better than anyone. and i fully believe that him knowing that is part of why he did eventually accept her back and fight so hard#understands the hardships rayla has endured with her family and society as well as callum does. callum was actually there to see part of it#for her and defend her once he healed some. i feel like some people who comment on the bond between rayla and callum in s5 being too nice#too quick or whatever may not have the most healthy relationship with some people theyre close to irl. i know thats making a big assumption#but when you truly love and care about someone and are mature enough you understand when its important to accept them back in after theyve#hurt you. it is NOT always appropriate to do so. some people are too toxic to do that with and theyll just hurt you more. but sometimes#thats not the case. sometimes you understand that person deeply and love them as a person so much that you accept them back. which helps#with healing for both of you. again. not always applicable. definitely have to weigh the options on if its worth it to still keep that#person around for your own mental health and stuff. but for these two. it is worth it. especially cuz they both know they have flaws as#their own people but still see it worth it to love each other anyway. its sweet. and i guess some people just cant accept that.#(and are also the kind of people that will probably just hate a lot of women characters anyway no matter what they do)#ive kinda lost the plot here. which im good at doing. but yeah. no one understands rayla as deeply as callum and ez do. and callum even#moreso than ez. he especially knows and understands what is tormenting her. which some toxic people who watch the show dont seem to#understand. also id like to add- the trauma that has happened to rayla does not EXCUSE her actions. what she did was still bad. but her#trauma does EXPLAIN her actions. those are 2 distinct things that once realized can help with recover and growth imo. and i feel like#callum knows that to at least some extent#imo more people need to understand the concept of 'this doesnt EXCUSE their actions but does EXPLAIN them' because it really is good to#remember for irl stuff. for both themselves and other people. its a concept i do not think a lot of toxic people grasp.#in any fandom and irl#im rambling so so bad rn im real sorry#< i hear you. no worries. i completely understand.#you bring up a lot of valid fair points#appreciate your take on it#apologies for my rambling as well#the dragon prince
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The Misteryous Visitor 4
Batfamily x batsis (platonic!)
Synopsis: Bruce finally confronts Damian, and hates how tonight's events seemed to turn out just to remind him what a terrible father he is. He felt like he didn't deserve you, and he wanted at all costs to avenge the injustice Talia committed with you two.
Warnings: Family discussion; maternal overprotection; Bruce has psychiatric problems and is mentally unstable, besides being very angry; mentions depression, post-traumatic stress and the like.
Word count: 3.7k
Note: I apologize for taking so long to post the fourth part. I was looking for inspiration to continue in other fandoms. Now I feel engaged again to continue posting
Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6
"She is not a secret." Damian tried to sound firm, looking Bruce in the eyes to avoid suspicion. But no matter what he did or how long he tried to maintain the lie, his father had already decided what to think about this enigmatic and strange situation.
"Hmm..." He let out a disheartened murmur, and the boy never thought something like this would happen, but he frowned with worry as he saw Bruce pour another drink. It wasn't like his father to act this way.
When Damian first met him in person at ten years old, he could have sworn Bruce and Talia were somewhat enjoying themselves that day, even with the barbs hidden in some exchanged sentences. Or maybe he was mistaken; after all, it had been so long. Perhaps he had preserved a false memory.
"How much have you drunk?" The boy asked with a disdainful voice, trying to hide that he was truly concerned.
"Why have you never talked about her? She is your sister, Damian." Bruce ignored the question but in a kind of silent acknowledgment, he rested the glass on the side table, preventing himself from getting drunk.
"Why are you acting like this? As if it's a big deal." He made a face of confusion. "Why do you care so much about this? She isn't even your problem. I won't stay here being interrogated because of her." Damian got up, taking hurried steps to the front door. He was running away, and he knew it.
"Where are you going?" Bruce stood to follow him, finally showing some kind of emotion beyond stoicism since they had been alone in the room.
"I'm going to wait for my mother outside. And when she appears, I'll come back to fetch Y/n. Then you won't have to see her anymore, ever again." Damian said, and although Bruce didn't know if in the last part his son was referring to you or Talia, he didn't dare ask for the detail.
"Why didn't you ask any of us for help when you found out she was missing? If she is someone so close to you, you could have talked to us." Bruce was speaking in that strange way again, like when he found out Jason was the Red Hood. He was hurt, and as if a whistle had snapped in his mind, Damian understood that his father was like this because of him. It wasn't Talia or how she always ended up causing problems; it was him. "You hid from me that you were still talking to your mother."
"And did I need to inform you that I talk to my mother?" The boy tried to maintain a haughty tone, repressing the urge to shout so that Bruce wouldn't see his conflicting feelings.
The truth is that it hurt to lie like this. It hurt even more to lie to you. Damian didn't show or openly say what he felt; his mother once told him that was weakness, but honestly, now he was disgusted with himself.
"You didn't need to inform me, but you made an effort to hide it!" Bruce didn't shout. His voice was grave, authoritative, and deep down had a tone of betrayal that had twice the impact of a shout. He seemed to reflect on something, and patiently Damian awaited a lamentable outburst, but just as he himself would do, Bruce was avoiding becoming emotional.
"I don't understand why, but you came to live with me and seemed to exclude her from your life because of us. She is your sister and didn't even know I am your father! You sent letters, which I'm sure you hid not just from me but from her too. And she ended up here in the middle of the night like a fugitive. Will you tell me again that all this has no reason?"
"Even if there were a reason, it wouldn't be your business." The young man replied harshly, and once again: it was a lie. It was his business. Seeing Bruce's angry scowl turn into a defeated look made one of his fingers tremble. Realizing only after saying something that what he did was wrong made a panic arise in his chest.
Bruce sat back in the armchair, giving up on the discussion once and for all. He felt so stupid for thinking he was succeeding in freeing his son from the League of Assassins' clutches, that he was doing a good job showing him he didn't need the blind loyalty Talia taught him to have. He feared that Damian would succumb to a villain's life, exactly as Ra's al Ghul wanted Bruce to be: cruel and ruthless.
Talia stirred bad reactions in him, and his sense of justice hammered in his head. How could he simply hand you back into her hands after you came here tonight? That woman was a bad influence on anyone, and it didn't matter if you were her daughter; you were a child. And wasn't that what he did with all his children? Took them from the streets and bad parents?
He wanted to vomit at the idea of allowing you to continue being raised by someone like her, among those people, but if he couldn't even change Damian, what could he do for you? Bruce couldn't force you to stay, but at the same time, he grappled with the internal conflict of corroborating that one day you would become like they. He is Batman, his duty is to protect. He should protect you too.
Bruce rubbed his eyes, feeling an intense headache and he day was already dawning again"Your mother isn't coming, Damian." He asserted, noticing that a long time had passed since they started waiting, getting up to return to his own room.
"You said we had a lot to talk about." Suddenly, the boy felt the need to prolong the conversation, if this could even be considered a conversation. It was as if they would never speak again if he allowed his father to leave.
"We don't anymore." Was cold, and that made the boy swallow hard. Bruce knew he would regret being so harsh, but at that moment, he wasn't thinking straight. The rational part of his brain was being dominated by his impulsive side.
Bruce opened his bedroom door with unusual violence. Lately, these episodes of anger were frequent, perhaps due to interrupted sleep; this damned insomnia was worse than in the last months. Alfred had already suggested he see a psychiatrist, but Bruce was sure he would leave there with a worse diagnosis than expected, so he avoided it as much as possible.
The butler once dared to mention that he might have some type of post-traumatic stress, but Bruce was stubborn and that led to an argument. He was a controlled man, but that day he shouted. The reaction was not unexpected, considering the tension from the chaos Scarecrow was causing in the city at the time, but Alfred was observant and knew the problems went beyond that.
The death of his parents was a delicate subject, and combined with the pressure of being Batman, Alfred saw Bruce become more obsessive, anxious, and even depressed over the years. Fortunately, the emergence of Dick was a break in the sad loneliness for him. And then came Jason, Tim, Damian, and things improved for a while, but the relapses still existed.
Bruce sighed as he admired his bed, wishing he could sleep again, but knowing he wouldn't be able to without taking another dose of pills, which certainly wasn't an option. Then he noticed your coat there. The garment had been left in his room, carefully placed on the arm of the room's couch.
He walked over and picked up the coat, rubbing the soft fabric with melancholy and noting how well-kept the garment was. It would probably be a good idea to return it to you; Would also be an opportunity to check if you were well accommodated.
Cautiously, he walked to the guest wing. Bruce thought he would need to check the rooms one by one to discover where Alfred had placed you, but a beam of light leaking from one of the doors indicated which one. He hesitated to turn the knob; it felt too intrusive. So, he knocked: three soft taps on the wood. He waited a few seconds, but you didn't come to open it, and he gave in to the act of opening it himself.
In slow movements, he leaned to look inside the room, without entering yet and checking if everything was okay. He saw your figure well wrapped in the covers, eyes closed and breathing in a consistent rhythm. You were sleeping, and the light he saw was the bedside lamp.
He entered, doing everything to control his steps, going to a chair to place the coat there. He felt the need to be gentle with the garment for some reason, handling the coat with such care, as if holding you in his hands.
He was envious of how pleasant your sleep seemed, wishing he could sleep like that too. He thought of turning off the lamp, but regretted it when he saw that his act interrupted your sleep. As soon as everything went dark, he heard the rustle of the covers, signaling that you had woken up. You stayed still for a while, staring at the shadow in front of you, knowing someone was there but too embarrassed to ask who it was, until the light was turned back on and you saw Mr. Wayne.
"Sorry, I think I woke you," he said softly, genuinely feeling guilty. "I brought your coat. I left it to dry better; it's still a bit wet," he continued, gesturing towards the chair.
"Thank you, Mr. Wayne," you replied groggily due to the minutes you spent sleeping. Thinking he would leave, you clasped your hands as if praying and placed them under your cheek on the pillow. A common but funny position.
"Call me just Bruce," he sat on the edge of the bed, looking at your face. He had a question stuck in his throat and thought it would be a good idea to start a conversation. "Are you okay?"
"I am. Thank you for letting me sleep at your house." you answered serenely, and he nodded in agreement. "And you?" You asked back. Bruce blinked, surprised by your question, realizing that your eyes were shining. The truth is he couldn't say how he felt, so he said what anyone would say:
"Yes, I'm okay," he said, more focused on your face, knowing you might be uncomfortable with that but wanting to see you better.
“Can I ask you something?” He seemed anxious, and you waited expectantly in silence, which he took as a yes. “Why did your mother separate you two like that? Why didn’t she tell you anything?”
You stared at a random spot on the mattress, feeling a pang in your chest at the memory. “She did, in a way. Mom doesn’t like you very much, Mr. Wayne. I think that’s why,” you said, looking back at him, seeing him raise his eyebrows in amusement; you corrected yourself with a gasp: “Bruce.”
“Did she speak badly of me to you?” Bruce was curious like a silly child, even though a serious scowl was etched on his face.
“Not exactly about you. Mom and Grandpa hate Batman.” By this point, you had already figured it out. It wasn’t hard to connect the dots between your family and Robin with him after a few minutes of reflection. “It’s you, isn’t it?”
Bruce let out a dry laugh, caught off guard. “Yes, it’s me,” he confirmed, and you shifted to sit more upright on the bed, excited.
“Is it true that you killed the Joker?” Your question made Bruce’s scowl turn puzzled. So that was the kind of rumor circulating.
“No, I didn’t kill him. He just... disappeared one day,” the same day Bruce thought he had lost Jason, and although deep down he wanted very much to have done it, he didn’t find it appropriate to admit that to you.
“I’m confused,” your voice became more relaxed, he thought it was due to the casual tone the conversation was taking. “If Damian is Robin now, what happened to the other one? He didn’t die, did he?” You asked the last question in a whisper, fearing it was true.
Bruce laughed at this. He had never thought about how people assumed Robin was a single person all these years. “No, he’s fine. You’d be surprised if I told you five different people have been Robin.”
Your eyes widened, and suddenly you remembered a detail: “There was a girl, wasn’t there? I remember seeing some photos in an old newspaper.”
Bruce was perplexed at how much you seemed to know about him, but in a good way. “Yes, there was a girl. She’s Batgirl now,” when he said that, your smile widened even more. It seemed like you were a secret fan, he would say, since in your own words: "Talia hates him" and Bruce knows she would hardly allow you to have such admiration.
But your smile faded, and that worried him for a moment until you spoke: “I didn’t know that man was Hugo Strange,” you looked at him with regret. “If I had known, I would have caught him for you.”
“Would you?” He asked, doubting you really could.
“Well... I would have tried,” you defended yourself, shrugging your shoulders.
“Very brave. But it’s good you didn’t do anything,” he said playfully, stopping to think for a moment. “Y/n, what did he tell you?”
He saw you wrinkle your nose in a grimace before answering. “I thought we met by chance. I was walking and saw a man smoking a cigarette on a corner. I was going to walk past, but then he asked if I needed help.”
“Which corner?”
“I don’t know, but it wasn’t far from home. I was trying to figure out the street on a map I found in the municipal library’s phone book,” you sighed, frustrated at not being able to give the information. “I ignored him, but he followed me. I got scared and started running, but he said he was a cop, so I trusted him.”
“Did he have a police car nearby?”
“He said he was undercover. But I don’t know what that means; I thought it was the same as being off duty.”
“It could mean that too.” Bruce saw your guilty expression, your lip trembling and your hands nervous.
“You don’t need to feel bad for believing him,” his larger hand enveloped both of yours like they were nothing. Were warm, and it was comforting. “I know Damian said horrible things, but he speaks in the heat of the moment.”
“It was not in the heat of the moment... He never just speaks,” your voice dropped so low it was almost inaudible. Your eyes burned, but there were no tears. Crying for your brother would be the last thing you would do again. “What was in the box?”
“What box?” He was confused by your sudden change of subject.
“Didn’t Dick give it to you?” You asked, feeling his hand move away from yours and touch his left pocket. What Dick had given him was a card and not a box. Maybe he had taken what was inside. “I guess he forgot.”
“No. He didn’t forget,” he quickly responded, snapping out of a stupor. A curiosity grew in his chest, a need to know what was in that card.
Bruce fumbled in the pocket where the card still was and pulled it out. He quickly examined the paper, turning it over to check the back for anything. For a long time, his voice was muffled, and Bruce could only hear a buzzing in his ear. It was impossible for those words to have any real meaning. His breathing became loud and shaky, as if he were in the cold, and you were startled to see his eyes blinking frantically.
“Are you okay?” You moved to approach him, seeing moisture suddenly form on his forehead. It was cold sweat.
“How is this possible?” You heard him ask himself, bringing his fingertips to his eyes, rubbing them to make sure he was really seeing. That card had left him unsettled, you realized, and hesitantly, you tried to take it from his hands to remove it from him, but his grip tightened at the feel of your fingers, so tight that it completely crumpled the paper. “Sorry. It’s nothing,” he stammered, seeing that the abrupt movement had scared you.
He got up from the bed, completely oblivious to you or anything else now. He staggered before reaching the door, very disturbed and seeming out of it. Maybe it was you who did something wrong and didn’t realize it?
He didn’t seem fit to walk, so you quickly removed the covers from your legs and went to him, supporting and guiding him to the chair where he had left his coat. He was very heavy, but he was so disoriented that he went limp. He seemed so shaken that he didn’t protest and simply sat there. You stood in front of him for a few seconds, not knowing what else to do to help him.
“Shouldn’t I call someone?” You asked.
“Dick,” he mumbled without looking at you, and that worried. It seemed intentional, as if it was too difficult to face you.
“Where do I find him?”
He closed his eyes for a moment, thinking of something, but Damian’s voice on the other side of the door caught his attention:
“Y/n, open the door.” You stood still, recognizing your brother’s voice, until he continued: “Mom is here. She’s going to take you home,” he said as a warning, opening the door after a moment without even asking. “Come on. Why are you standing there like a statue?”
He was perplexed when you didn’t respond, and then he noticed his father sitting beside you in terror.
“Dad?” He approached, kneeling to assess the severity. He was having another episode. Lately, Bruce had only been getting worse every day and still refused to ask for help.
“What happened?” Your brother turned to you, but your face already showed that you had no idea.
Damian tried to place his hand on his shoulder, but Bruce pushed it away aggressively. Your father would never act like this just because of the argument they had before, much less give him a venomous look as he did now, but beneath it all, there was hurt. He had found out about you, somehow.
He should have felt bad about how the news seemed to have been revealed, but he was relieved not to have to lie anymore. At the same time, he regretted choosing to cater to his mother’s whims once again, deceiving his father this way. But the omission had grown so much over the years he spent in the mansion and, after so long, it didn’t matter when he told him, the damage was already done.
Bruce wasn’t in a perfect mental state. He wouldn’t react like this normally, and knowing that, the man felt pathetic in front of the two of you.
“He asked for Dick,” you said to Damian, giving him space to breathe by stepping back.
“Forget Dick,” Bruce replied firmly, surprising. In an instant, he had a fit, and as quickly as he entered this state, he left it. Now, he seemed furious. “Where is she?”
This was a ploy by Talia and Strange. They were planning this together to hit him, a way to weaken him. It could only be that. It was too much of a coincidence Strange had found you just that night; nothing made sense. When had he and Talia gotten involved again after that day that led to Damian? He couldn’t remember and wasn’t good at recalling such old things. Maybe that wasn't even true. It was as if there was a big blank page in his mind.
“Get out,” Talia’s silhouette appeared at the door where she was leaning. Like most times when referring to the children, her voice was imposing, leaving no room for contestation. “Both of you.”
“You were supposed to wait downstairs,” your brother tried to contradict her. Despite everything he did for your mother, unlike you, he was the only one who had the courage to face her.
Her frown deepened at Damian’s defiance, but her stern expression softened at your trembling voice: ‘Mom...’ She sighed and opened her arms to you, casting a challenging look at Bruce, who returned it with an even harsher one, as she wrapped your smaller body than hers in a tight hug.
She knelt to your level, her hands gently brushing your cheeks and hair, noting how frizzy and messy it was. ‘Look at you. Your hair is all disheveled.’ She ran a finger down to your lip, grimacing at the cut there.
‘I’m sorry.’ Although less anxious now that you knew she wasn’t angry, you still regretted disobeying her.
‘My sweet girl,’ she said in a soft, genuinely affectionate voice. She kissed your cheek, casting that same malicious glance at Bruce again, as if provoking him. He felt a wave of nausea seeing her use you as a pawn just to taunt him. ‘Let the adults talk,’ she ordered, standing up and regaining her authoritative tone.
‘I’m staying,’ Damian protested. Leaving his father alone with her in his vulnerable state was a mistake.
‘Go and stay with your sister, Damian,’ Bruce was as harsh as Talia, but unlike her, he was seething with anger.
The boy closed his eyes in frustration but gave in, knowing it was useless to argue. He glanced at you, who had already walked out of the room and into the hallway. Damian was about to follow, but his father’s voice stopped him again:
‘She’s not leaving the house, Damian,’ his firm tone carried the weight of undeniable authority, with bitterness seeping through. The coldness in his voice left no room for warmth; it was distant. Bruce had finally gotten the push he needed. The possibility of you being his daughter gave him a sense of entitlement, and it made Talia’s arrogant expression falter for a moment; she looked apprehensive. ‘Do you understand?’ It was a question directed at both his son and Talia.
‘Yes,’ the young man replied simply, avoiding eye contact with his mother as he left. Damian paused in front of the door before fully departing, and his mother slammed it shut in his face.
He resisted the urge to eavesdrop and turned to look for you in the hallway, but you had vanished.
‘I deserve this,’ he muttered impatiently. You were avoiding him, and Damian couldn’t help but feel irritated at how childish that was. But he was one of the villains here; he was the one who lied, insulted, and rejected you. Realizing this filled him with shame, and unlike the first time, he repeated the words, this time with a tone of regret: ‘Yes, I deserve this.’"
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#imagine#x reader#angst#batman#batsis#batfam#batfamily#bruce wayne#damian wayne#dick grayson#sister reader#daughter reader#child reader#bruce wayne x reader#bruce wayne x you#bruce wayne imagine#bruce wayne x daughter!reader#damian wayne x reader#damian wayne x sister reader#batman x reader#batman x daughter reader#batfam x batsis
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Jinx just never really liked Vander that much.
One of the things that, to me, seemed like a main theme in Jinx's arc in season 1 was the contrast between her two families, and how her switch from Vander's daughter to Silco's drastically changes the way her personality takes shape.
And I hate that the fandom, and now the show, too, has reduced Silco to an unhealthy influence in Jinx's life, pushing her towards her "bad" side (being Jinx) when, for all his flaws... he gives her a better childhood than she ever had with Vander. The first three episodes of the first season, to me, when I watched them, illustrate quite clearly that Powder feels unhappy in her family life. She is the most mal-adjusted of Vander's kids. Her older brother constantly berates her, and it's quite clearly having a big effect on her self-image. She later takes up the Jinx name and persona once she feels like she has become irredeemable as a person. Her other brother never defends her. Vi is the only one who is there for her, and they care for each other, but at the same time you can see there's still a little insecurity in their relationship. Vi is worried that maybe Powder is indeed too weak, and Powder worries that maybe Vi does indeed see her as a Jinx like her brother does.
And when it comes to Vander... he's just not really all that present in her life. And I don't blame him, the man has four kids to take care of, on top of keeping things running in the Undercity. It's clearly not his intention. But it doesn't change the fact that he's not there for Powder, not as much as she needs. To me, when I watched the first season, it seemed like Vander was a figure that felt far away to Powder, someone that she admired but also feared being completely herself around, and someone that she ultimately wished to be closer to than she actually was. It's worth mentioning that Jinx never says his name post time skip, and he is not a hallucination for her, not until Vi brings him up in the finale. Hell, Claggor is somehow a hallucination for her and he never even speaks. Vander was just not an influential figure in Jinx's life.
I always found the scene at the end of ep3 of s1 fascinating, because Powder never once mourns Vander. She never once cries for him and never once says his name. When she sees his dead body, she becomes shocked and starts crying, but it's not actually what breaks her. What breaks her is Vi's rejection. Had it just been that she accidentally caused the deaths of her brothers and adoptive father, she would not have crumbled mentally. It's Vi's rejection that destroys her. Now, of course, a little girl that cares more about her sister's affection towards her than the lives of her family members is kinda messed up, but that's what makes her character interesting. And we can see that that little girl doesn't go anywhere, as Jinx displays the exact same one-mindness about her sister. Because Jinx and Powder were never really that different, after all.
She is quite clearly placed with her back to Vander's body, that she never turns to, barely looks at, only enough to recognize him and see he's dead, and never says the name of. She's turned towards Vi, calling for Vi, crying because of Vi, and no one else. Heck, Vi had just been crying over his body a few moment ago. Vi is clearly distraught over his death. Vi is devastated, she literally punches her sister and curses her in the exact worst possible way she can, in the way she know it will hurt her sister the most. But Powder... she just honestly dgaf.
So to then hear Jinx say this line in season 2...
...is just straight up jarring. I was pulled out of the story when I heard this. This is Jinx saying this to Vi. This kinda makes it seem like it was Jinx who was most attached to Vander, or at least that she was just as attached to him as Vi was. Which is just not how things seemed in the story at literally any point until this one. And then season 2 continues this way, and somehow makes Jinx seem like the closest daughter to Vander. Flipping Warwick literally acts more attached to Jinx than Vander ever did to Powder. Like literally. Season 1 clearly sets up that Vi is the favorite daughter, and then they just... flip it?? Warwick cares more for Jinx and responds better to her than to Vi. It's actually insane. It's true they sanitized Jinx's character to hell and back this season, but this is a straight-up rewrite. I can't wrap my mind around why they did this. Plus, the entirety of act 2 they set up this weird and pointless arc of Jinx rekindling her relationship with Vander or something... and like literally her story was genuinely never about that.
(This COULD have been Vi's story. And that might have actually been cool, and made sense. Maybe Vi is the one who finds him, and she is the one who helps him calm down. And then she brings Jinx, and maybe Jinx is terrified because she was never that close to Vander, and then she literally killed him, so seeing him again is the last thing she wants. Maybe VI is the one who tells Jinx that "he was your dad, too", which would make A LOT more sense, and maybe that's the first time that Jinx thinks that oh, yeah, he was... And then maybe they have a cute moment where Vander forgives her. Or maybe she sees the state he's in right now and loses it completely. Or maybe they look at each other and they both see the monster each of them has become. And then maybe Vi looks down at the enforcer uniform she's wearing, and, privately, sees it too. Idk. The things we could have had.)
Silco was actually a good dad to Jinx, in all the ways that Vander wasn't. He gives her all the attention that she never had before. He not only listens to her, but actively asks for her side of the story. He never insults her, and he defends her against Sevika. He trusts her and gives her opportunities to prove she's capable. She goes from being one of four siblings, and getting lost in the shuffle and often ending up feeling forgotten and alone, to being the most important child, always taken into consideration and almost put on a pedestal by her dad (this, like, has to have cured some inner wounds, i think).
Silco understands Jinx better than any other character in the show, and I'm genuinely sad that we didn't get to see any flashback of Jinx growing up with him. Because their relationship was so unique, and so integral to Jinx's character and to the rest of the story, that the fact that we never get to see any other glimpse into their bond is just...
As a final note, I'd also like to add that I dislike when people say that Silco "groomed" Jinx. I think a much more realistic analysis is that he enabled her. And as for all the times he tells Jinx that Vi "betrayed her", that's just a reflection of his own trauma, and also because he fears that if Jinx knew Vi was alive, she would go back to her and leave him (which, considering what goes down in the s1 finale, not an unfounded fear). It's wrong that he does that, but it's not out of malicious intent (also tbh Jinx never really seems to believe him anyway).
And for all the people who say that Silco "turned Jinx into a terrorist" (dumbest people in this fandom fr, im sorry), that's just straight up not true. Powder was already like that. That is quite literally why Silco adopts her. Because he sees that she's like him. Silco would not have taken Powder in if he thought she was just a cute, innocent kid who was orphaned (to, what, raise her for years so that, MAYBE when she's older, she MIGHT be useful to him? when they meet he doesn't know she's the one that caused the explosion, he just knows that she's been abandoned by Vi). This is the kid who thought playing around with explosives was a fun hobby. This is the kid who giggled at the thought of hurting others. This is the kid who already suffered from explosive emotions. This is the kid who saw her father and her brothers dead, because of her, and all she cared about was whether her sister was mad at her because of it. This is the kid who throws herself at the first person she sees, someone who her sister hates, who is the cause of all this destruction, and with an anger that shocks most viewers, declares that Vi is not her sister anymore. She is livid in that one moment.
Powder already had it in her from the beginning. And it's also ok to like a character (and to write one) even if they are not 100% morally pure in every single way under the sun, cause that is quite literally what stories are for.
#arcane critical#jinx arcane#silco arcane#vander arcane#arcane season 2#had to get this off my chest#ik other people have written about this too#but i wanted to make my own post so shhh#i don't even like silco that much but people are being insane about him#this is just yap really
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Batfam au angst :) also leading into (platonic) yandere batfam
What if Jason wasn't the first kid to die :)
And what if Damian wasn't Bruce's only biological kid :)
Au idea I'm simple terms: what if Bruce had a daughter in his early years of batman, who went missing and dead, but then years later reappeared and was found again, Bruce and the others won't make the same mistake twice.
Author's note before reading: Please keep in mind I'm new to this fandom, so I don't know much about what's canon. I simply get creative ideas really easily and have decided to share them.
If anyone else likes this idea, feel free to rewrite or add onto the concept, if you do please tag me I'd love to see what others do with this concept
I'm picturing reader to be the same age as or potentially slightly younger than Damian, but no specific ages are mentioned
Damian POV:
It was a day like any other, awful, Damian had to go to school. He didn't hate school, just the people there, loud, annoying, nosy.
He went about his day the same as always, reading in class and working on his work, until suddenly the principle came to class abruptly saying they had a new student, which the teacher promptly assigned to sit next to Damian. Great.
The teacher also informed him that he would be the one to show this new student around. So Damian braced himself for the extra annoying questions about him and his family, after all that's what people always want to know.
But to his suprised? This girl didn't care about any of that, simply asking questions about the class and school. She didn't even ask if he was really a Wayne, she looked a bit suprised but it wasn't the usual suprise most people had, and she didn't ask him any questions about it so it didn't matter.
As he showed her around he found out that they had the same classes, he heard her sigh of relief, but when questioned she said she was glad because it ment she wouldn't be alone in any of her classes and she'd have someone to turn to.
As the day went on they would go to class and work on classwork, it seems his new classmate was a lot smarter than the rest of them and he didn't have to constantly help her with work.
At the end of the day he made a mental note of a new acquaintance.
Later that day
"Ah, Master Damian, welcome back. How was your day at school?" Alfred asked, greeting the young boy
"It was alright Pennyworth, we had a transfer student today, but she seemed to be quite intelligent unlike the rest of those peasants" Damian replied
"Oh? A transfer student? In the middle of the school year? How odd."
"Yeah, I'll keep an eye out for any suspicious behavior, but there wasn't anything out of the ordinary, her name is Y/n." Damian said, but after saying her name he noticed Alfred looked pale
"Pennyworth? Are you feeling ill? Do I need to inform father?" Damian asked
"No no, I'm quite alright, it's just, I... used to know someone with that name, so I was suprised to hear it. That's all." Alfred replied, but he still looked pale
"If you say so. I'm going to head to my room and work on schoolwork before it's time for patrol" Damian said, and he was gone without another word
Alfred's POV:
'Calm yourself Alfred. It's a normal name that anyone could have, besides, it's been 20 years. Even if it was her she wouldn't be part of the young masters class. Still... I should inform Master Bruce, incase he mentions this classmate' Alfred thinks to himself before heading to the batcave.
There he finds both Bruce and Tim, working on the computer, searching for sightings of criminal activity, recently rumors of a new villain with unknown powers had started to arise, so it was the batman's job to keep Gotham safe
"Ahem, apologies for interrupting, but I need to borrow Master Bruce for a moment" Alfred says
"Did something happen Alfred?" Bruce asks
"No, not necessarily, it's nothing serious but we need to talk" Alfred replies
Bruce gets up and follows Alfred out of the room
"What is it Alfred? You look like you've seen a ghost." Bruce states
"Apologies Sir, as I said, it's nothing serious, however Damian informed me of a new classmate at school today" Alfred starts
"In the middle of the year?" Bruce comments
"That's what I said, however that isn't the point, I simply wanted to let you know before hand, incase the young master mentions this classmate infront of you.." Alfred pauses
"That's it? Why would you need to inform me of that" Bruce asks confused
"Well you see. He said that her name was... Y/n" Alfred states, and Bruce becomes just as pale as he is
"I see.... did Damian tell you anything else about this.... classmate?" Bruce asks
"No, he did not. But simply stated he'd keep an eye out for anything suspicious." Alfred said
"I understand." Bruce said with a deep sigh
"Are you alright Master Bruce? I know it's been a long time but-"
"I'm fine Alfred. I just... I'm fine. I need to head back to work now, we still don't know what this new villain is capable of, or what they're after." Bruce says, turning away
"Alright sir, if you insist. Please take care of yourself."
Alfred says, but he knows how Bruce is
The patrol went on as normal, and so did school. Nothing particularly interesting happened it was a week like any other, Damian and y/n would work on schoolwork together during breaks, since y/n joined late she had a lot of work to catch up on but she didn't have much trouble and Damian helped her when she did. The two had even become friends, turns out they had a lot in common, and some classmates tried to joke about how they were like siblings, but the two didn't mind. The jokes did make Damian aware of how... familiar y/n looked. He pondered the idea of her being a child from a one night stand, but the timelines didn't match up so he brushed the thought away, thinking it was a coincidence that she looked so much like Bruce. But nothing out of the ordinary happened of note, not until one fateful patrol where Damian made a discovery
Y/n POV:
Y/n didn't know where to go after waking up again, it was clear so many things have changed, and her dad taught her well. She needed more information before she made any decisions.
Unfortunately this ment she had no place to stay. After all, she couldn't go to an orphanage, she wasn't an orphan and she didn't have any documents or a story on where she came from. She knew better than to go to the police, what would she even say to them? So here she was. Sitting under a bridge hoping she won't get sick. But she was strong, she'd do what she'd have to in order to understand the situation better. Even if that means sleeping under a bridge like a troll, even if it means only eating the food provided by the school, even if it means-
"Hello there. Are you alright?" A voice asked making her jump
She turns to see, some sort of vigilante. She had heard in passing about how her dad Batman wasn't the only vigilante in Gotham anymore, so she figured it was one of them
"Oh um, I'm alright" she replied, she hadn't planned to meet any of them, she knew she might meet batman, which she kind of hoped for because then she could get some answers, but this was new territory this was- wait a minute why does he kind of look like Damian?
"Are you sure? Your sitting underneath a bridge at night, kids shouldn't be out here like this you could get hurt. Or worse. Why aren't you with your parents?" The vigilante (Damian) said, after recognizing his classmate, assessing the situation
"It's... complicated" y/n replies, before wondering how much she should tell him "I... can't really talk about it, but I can't go back home.. not yet at least, and I don't have anywhere else to go, so I've just been here" she states, hoping she didn't say to much
The vigilante just stays there for a moment, not saying anything, and she wonders if she said to much or if he thinks she's a criminal
"I see. In any case, you shouldn't be out here alone, the streets of Gotham aren't safe, however if you insist on staying out here may I suggest somewhere that isn't so easily spotted? You wouldn't want to be attacked. I know a few places that are safer than.. this" The vigilante says offering a hand
"Oh, uhm" y/n thinks for a moment, weighing her options "I'll take you up on that offer, it's not great down here" y/n replies, taking his hand
The two go to a more remote, slightly cleaner area
"Here we are, even if it's temporary this would be a better place for a shelter than where you were before. I don't know what's going on, but if you need assistance, im willing to help" the vigilante replies
"Thank you, you've really been more than enough help and I appreciate it a lot. If I need anything il let you know....."
"... Robin. My name is Robin." Robin says, noticing her pause
"Robin... thank you for the help, good luck with the rest of your patrol" y/n says
"Of course, you be careful now, always keep an eye out." Robin says, before leaving
'Phew.... he's gone. That was definitely him, and he definitely recognized me. Now what. He didn't say anything so they're definitely still doing the secret identity thing. I guess I'll just have to play it cool and hope he doesn't say anything at school. If any of the teachers find out I'm definitely gonna get investigated and then my whole plan will be thrown out the window.' Y/n thinks to herself 'Maybe this is a good thing, if he's Robin, it's likely that dad's still Batman too, which means I might run into him. What if he doesn't recognized me? What if he does recognize me?? What if- what if he didn't miss me.... no, no! This is dad, of course he missed me but it's been... so long... what do I do if he doesn't want me back...' y/n starts to worry about before she falls to the floor and starts to cry
Which, unbeknownst to her, Damian saw, he doesn't know why she's crying or why it makes him feel so... protective but he knows somethings up, so he goes off and reports what he knows to Batman
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aaaaand cliffhanger! Mwahahahaha
I would have kept going, and I know exactly what's coming next, but I've been typing for awhile and I have no idea how long this post is, and I don't want it to be too long
So I'm stopping it there,
This wasn't supposed to be this much but my creative brain decided to run with this idea, so there's gonna be a part 2 soon
Also I've decided to call this au
Batman Dead Daughter Au
Because.... idk what else to call it and if I'm gonna make a part 2 and potentially more depending on how this goes, I'm gonna need something to refer to it with.
As I said before, I'm extremely new to the batman stuff
Pretty much all of my knowledge comes from youtube and tumblr, so bare with me if things are out of character
I've also never written fanfiction before, it's always just been in my head, so the writing is probably a bit funny
Yes I'm a writer in the making but I haven't actually gotten to the writing part
And fanfiction is a bit different
Hope yall like the concept tho
Again, feel free to write your own version of this if you want to, just tag me so I can read it too lol
#batfam x reader#batman#damian wayne#yandere batman x reader#yandere batfam#yandere damian wayne#Batman Dead Daughter Au
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Sonic is fundamentally unrelatable and unrealistic - and that's a good thing
I want to address a common sentiment in the fandom that I've seen countless times over the years - the idea that Sonic should be more humanlike. Specifically, the idea that Sonic should have more human traits, such as anxiety or insecurities, that make him emotionally vulnerable in some way.
I have always felt that this sentiment strips away what I love about Sonic so much—that it goes against his character as someone who is meant to be inspirational rather than relatable. From the bottom of my heart, I truly believe that making Sonic more relatable ruins his appeal and misses the entire point of what role he is meant to fulfill. Sonic being the way he is, an inhuman being that is extremely strong and unyielding mentally and emotionally, makes him an inspirational character that is appealing outside of the realm of relatability.
Please note that I am discussing Game Sonic for this essay, not any versions of Sonic from spinoff media.
(Special thanks to @blurredblu for helping me write this essay!)
Relatability =/= likeability
First, it is important to define "relatability" for the rest of the essay, as what is seen as relatable can vary across countless different cultures and lifestyles.
In this case, we are discussing facets of the human psyche. Traits such as emotional vulnerability, insecurity, or trauma are traits seen as humanlike because they imitate the depth of the human mind. They come across more realistic, and thus relatable to people in real life who have generally gone through emotional hardships.
Relatability is also considered with the implied audience in mind, according to Craft in the Real World by Matthew Salesses.
If relatability were somehow a goal of craft, then the question should be: How can a writer go about trying to make a piece of fiction relatable? If we mean “relatable�� as sharing a reader’s experience, the first place to go is audience. We must always ask: Relatable to whom? Which brings us back to the elephant in the room—to call a manuscript “relatable” is really to make a claim about who the audience is or should be.
When writing relatability in fiction, what is important to recognize is who the target audience is. Sonic is a character that was initially created to appeal to a wide target audience, not only meant for young boys but for girls, women, and an older age range in general. When it comes to marketability however, Sonic is almost always advertised towards children, and this demographic is the most pertinent when we look at versions of Sonic written with relatability as a goal. With this idea of the target audience in mind, a character who is portrayed as young and having a childish temperament would be more relatable. The Paramount Sonic movies are a great example of a version of Sonic explicitly written to be relatable to the target demographic on a broad level, heavily influenced by the culture that the movies derive from: specifically a middle-class, suburban, small-town vision of American life. Sonic is portrayed as dependent, inexperienced, and abiding by a nuclear family structure who idolises many elements of American popular culture, such as Keanu Reeves or Marvel/DC superhero comics. Compare this to the games, where Sonic is shown to be self-supporting, wise, and living life as an unfettered vagabond, all without a trace of any pop culture utterances.
In other words, Sonic was created to be the height of unrelatability to his target audience.
It is not lost on me that the prevalent desire for Sonic to behave realistically ties into the idea that the goal of crafting a good character is to emulate realistic human characteristics. A character's relatability is what allows audiences to connect with the character, which is considered unequivocally a good thing.
What is forgotten in this rudimentary line of thinking is that characters in media need to fulfill a role. Characters are not people like you or me, but fictional creations made to serve a particular purpose. There needs to be thought put into what narrative role the character fulfills and why they are portrayed a certain way to the audience. Hence, there must be a reason for the relatability, instead of employing it haphazardly.
To quote Craft in the Real World once more:
"readers’ expectations for fiction are created by their previous experiences with fiction—in other words, by culture."
The desire for Sonic to be relatable can be attributed to people recognizing pervasive tropes present in their previous experiences with fiction, internalizing these commonalities as the correct way to write good stories, and assigning these to Sonic as a result. While I can understand the logic behind this thinking, it is crucial we don't limit our appraisal of media by saying a protagonist ought to abide by a certain limitation, when it's the breaking of rules, however rigid they are, that allow for different methods of storytelling. Sonic breaks the so-called rule that a protagonist must be relatable, and it's this unrelatability that enhances and strengthens the narrative in many Sonic games. In other words, writing Sonic in a relatable way can be a way to write him; that does not mean it is the only or correct way to do so.
We should bear in mind that there are usually financial incentives to cast characters as mentally or emotionally relatable to audiences. To create a protagonist that appeals to all audiences to maximize revenue, the solution is typically to make them broadly relatable. While this can be a successful formula, it is important to not apply it to media indiscriminately. If a myriad of works all prioritise having characters be relatable over what makes them unique, you may end up sacrificing creative integrity for the sake of following a trend. In Sonic's case, you would lose the inimitable appeal that makes him stand out. While relatability can be valuable in certain contexts, it should not dominate all other considerations of writing a character, especially when it is done for the purposes of profitability as opposed to earnestly conveying a character to, ultimately, tell a story.
What makes Sonic stand out
What, then, makes Sonic stand out as a character? His inhuman mental fortitude. In a wide and varied cast of characters such as the Sonic cast, each with their own unique emotional struggles, Sonic stands out as the sole character with no struggle. He has no weak point, no Achilles' heel. Though he is weak to water, that is only a physical weakness. Mentally, he is too strong for anything to affect him long-term.
As stated before, characters are designed to serve specific creative purposes. In Sonic's case, his striking mental resilience is to highlight other messages and characters in the story. This is because Sonic usually plays the guiding or support role in his stories. He is not the sole focus. There is always at least a second character that the story focuses on to highlight that character's problems and struggles, and how that character ends up overcoming that conflict, often with Sonic's help.
With all this in mind, would Sonic stories be improved if Sonic was, instead, a human-like character with human flaws and insecurities? Or would this muddy his core concept and require all Sonic stories to be changed unrecognizably to fit this new, different character?
Sonic has no backstory - and that's a good thing
Understand that this section is not an attack on backstories in general. For the most part, backstories provide insight into a character's motivations and personality. They are effective in accomplishing what they were meant to do - creating characters that are meant to be realistic.
Sonic is not meant to be realistic.
Yuji Naka once stated the reason behind Sonic's lack of a backstory in an interview: if you uncover all the mysteries, then the character will become uninteresting.
Very little information of Sonic's backstory has been revealed. We know that he is from Christmas Island (same interview link as above) and it is implied in the Sonic 1 manual that he and Eggman already know each other and have been regularly tussling before the events of the first game. These are vague and unspecific details that are not brought up in Sonic games at all, and for good reason.
Distance is required to portray a character who you are meant to be separate from rather than analogous to. Maintaining a certain level of mystery around Sonic creates intrigue, as a question is begged but never answered or even brought up in Sonic stories. This is because Sonic's backstory has no relevance on the narrative and delving into it is not necessary.
Sonic's motivations are simple and straightforward. He likes to run and go on adventures because it's fun. He likes to help people not out of some heroic obligation but because he wants to do what he feels is right. There is no need for a backstory to explain Sonic's motivations when they are plainly presented to you in such an uncomplicated manner, and what's on the face of it is just wholly what it is.
Sonic is also a character that remains static rather than having a major character arc. While he can grow when it comes to things that don't affect his overall character, such as Sonic learning and overcoming Shadow's Chaos Control technique in Sonic Adventure 2, he has no emotional conflict to overcome. He has been a fully realized character since the beginning of the franchise.
Compare this to a character like Tails, whose character arc is about him being bullied for his two tails in the past and being inspired by Sonic to be more confident in himself, as communicated in the Sonic 2 manual and his Sonic Adventure campaign. Divulging Tails' backstory is necessary for the improvement of Tails' circumstances and confidence levels to be effectively communicated in the story.
Fictional characters are narrative devices created to tell a story. They are not real. Again, there must be narrative reasons for them to be the way they are.
Providing Sonic's backstory would serve no narrative purpose—none that would serve the themes his stories and character are meant to serve, at any rate.
Sonic has no trauma - and that's a good thing
Upon analyzing Sonic's character in the games for so long, it has become astoundingly clear to me that Sonic does not have an ounce of mental trauma from everything he has been through. This should not be seen as a bad thing, but rather a well-thought-out and deliberate decision that serves to reinforce the role his character serves.
In the face of situations that would be considered stressful or traumatic to the average person, Sonic remains unfazed and even excited. There are countless examples of this: Sonic jumping from a plane with nothing but shrapnel to use as a surfboard in Sonic Adventure 2; Sonic expressing excitement that he's near an active volcano spewing lava in '06; Sonic exuberantly grinding over pits of lava in Black Knight; Sonic burning up with excitement at the prospect of dangerous stakes in Team Sonic Racing while everyone else seems to be concerned.
For Sonic, danger and near-death experiences are not a source of emotional struggle, but rather a source of fulfilment and joy. He lives life on the edge; the excitement of diving off of a plane or nearly falling into lava only fuels his love for life.
Additionally, Sonic also enjoys the simpler pleasures of life. Exploring the world. Reading books. Going on relaxing vacations. Racing through open fields. Life is one big adventure and Sonic is having a blast living it.
The idea of Sonic having some kind of secret, hidden trauma that he hides under the guise of a fake smile can be a fun fanon trope, but, for the purposes of canon and official Sonic stories, there are clear reasons why they should stay as fanon. If Sonic had trauma, it would undermine his unrelatability and make no sense given his role in his stories. Tropes such as Hurt/Comfort and Angst are ubiquitous when it comes to fandom culture, and this could be a case of those tropes appearing in the Sonic fandom simply due to the nature of fandom itself. Enjoying fanon in and of itself is all well and good, but advocating for it in canon will homogenize it by stripping away what is unique about the media we love.
In the end, there is no reason to believe that Sonic pretends or does not behave genuinely when it comes to expressing his true emotions. Sonic simply has nothing dark inside of his heart to hide. This is confirmed in Unleashed, where Sonic's heart is strong enough to resist the negative emotional forces of Dark Gaia without him even realizing. The subconscious nature of the action combined with his humility even leads him to initially think it to be Chip's doing. His heart is so strong and so pure that it is incorruptible by negative forces. This shows how Sonic's resolve is effortless and practically baked into who he is.
Sonic's internal strength is completely unconscious on Sonic's part. He doesn't actively try to be the way he is. He just is.
Sonic doesn't cry - you get the idea
It has become a hot topic in the fanbase in recent years that Sega once provided a revision note for Sonic to not express excessive emotion such as outwardly crying or sobbing.
This idea has generally been met with hostility and aversion from fans. However, this negative reaction has always confused me, and I hope to offer a different perspective to the issue.
Why does Sonic need to cry?
Let's expand on this argument for fairness' sake. A common rebuttal grants that Sonic doesn't usually cry. But in extremely emotionally difficult situations, such as loss or mourning, Sonic should cry because it is only natural to cry in such a situation.
Again, I want to challenge this notion. We could approach it from the angle of human psychology and behaviour—it is far from the case that everyone cries in response to severe adversity, belatedly or otherwise—but instead I want to explore this with respect to the narrative angle we have covered so far. Specifically, with respect to the idea that characters, unlike you or me, are designed and portrayed with certain purposes in mind.
Why would it be natural for Sonic to cry?
To help understand Sonic's handling of loss, let's analyze four examples from the series of Sonic losing someone.
In Sonic Adventure 2, Sonic stays strong and composed right after Shadow's presumed death, paying respect to his fallen ally.
In Sonic Unleashed, after Chip leaves him, Sonic takes a deep breath before moving forward with a smile on his face.
In Sonic Battle, Sonic is desperate for Emerl to live and expresses this openly.
In Sonic '06, Sonic expresses a great amount of despair when Elise dies in an explosion aboard the Egg Carrier.
It is clear from the outset that Sonic is not an uncaring individual - he wouldn't do all the selfless things he does if not because he didn't care about people. He also still feels strong emotion at losing those close to him, but he handles those emotions with a great deal of fortitude. In Adventure 2 and Unleashed, his reaction is more subdued, while in Battle and '06, it's clear that Sonic is upset and isn't afraid to show it. The difference could be due to that in the prior examples, Sonic watched them die in front of his eyes, while in the latter examples, they were already gone by the time we see Sonic's reaction.
Nevertheless, Sonic feels emotion. It is only because he does not express himself in an adequately typical way that this idea is met with so much outrage and pushback. Because Sonic does not cry, and because an expected response in certain scenarios would be to cry, it is perceived as a writing mistake that must be fixed. Sonic is perceived as a bad character because he does not fit into a rigid box of socially acceptable expressiveness.
But why is Sonic acting outside the norm necessarily a bad thing? The fact that Sonic can go through such hard situations and remain positive is a testament to his strength. The fact he doesn't cry makes him come across as superhuman when it comes to mental fortitude. That is not a mistake of his character that needs "fixing." That is the entire point.
The animosity towards the idea of Sonic not crying, that he must express himself a specific way, a distinctly normal and humanlike way, is stirred from the irrational, yet sadly common, leap in logic that Sonic must behave and experience life like you or me.
There is an irony, too, to how localised this demand of realism is of Sonic. I've seen no outrage demanding that he spill blood or break bones like us. But, apparently, he must shed tears to be a good character. Sonic is superhumanly resilient while running, or fighting, or taking on the miraculous powers of the Chaos Emeralds. Chaos is power and power is enriched by the heart. Sonic's is shown to be one of the strongest and purest out there, one that moves ever on from and through the pain of loss, grief, and tragedy. Isn't it bizarre, then, that this is considered a defect to him?
The messaging of Sonic
Sonic's core concept as an inspirational character must be maintained because it is key to the emotional messaging of nearly every single Sonic game.
Right from the very first game, you play as a plucky little hedgehog, fighting against the tyranny of Eggman's industrialization threatening to destroy all life on the planet.
Sonic is small and unassuming. But he fights anyways, determined to stop Eggman. And he does.
This concept remains throughout the franchise. Sonic always remains steadfast in the face of great adversity. From Sonic CD's "You Can Do Anything" vocal theme telling the player to believe in themselves to simple yet motivational phrases—ones that Sonic himself has given to the likes of more normal characters such as Elise: "If you have time to worry, then run!"
There is even a quote on the Japanese box art of Sonic & Knuckles comparing Sonic to the Sun, the far and unreachable star in space that our entire galaxy revolves around.
We look up at the Sun like how we look up to Sonic.
As brought up earlier, Sonic is the antithesis of relatability to his target audience, children.
This is because he is meant to inspire children.
The fact that Sonic remains so popular and successful to this day is undeniable proof that relatability is far from a necessary ingredient for likeable characters. Given the fact that Sonic is such a strong-willed character, that he fights endlessly against adversity with a smile on his face, that he always gives positive words of encouragement, is it any wonder why he is so popular with children? Sonic is a wonderful role model that promotes living life to the fullest. Sonic is deceptively wise, seeming to know simple yet effective solutions to every problem. Sonic encourages you to chase your dreams, to stay strong through hard times, to enjoy life.
Sonic is a friend who is always there for you.
Not only does Sonic provide guidance to characters, he provides guidance in the real world as we navigate our lives and the trials and tribulations that come with them. Each character that presents a problem is the character we are meant to connect with, and Sonic is who we strive to be.
CONCLUSION
I do not hold any grudge against relatable characters. I love them, just as I love all kinds of different characters in all kinds of media.
I believe that coexistence is possible. I believe that you can praise a character for their relatability and realism, just as you can praise a character for being the antithesis of both of those things, and these do not have to be contradicting principles for one to have. It all depends on a character's narrative function and how their character traits – both relatable and unrelatable – serve the story that is being told.
Sonic the Hedgehog is a character whose role in the narrative is to inspire and guide other characters. From a Doylist perspective, he represents the prominent, all-embracing messaging about staying strong and positive despite all odds, inspiring and guiding his target audience.
Every decision put into Sonic's character traits serve his role perfectly. Of course this extraordinary character does not behave like you or I do. Why would he? That's simply not his nature; a gust of wind in the breeze, moving endlessly all throughout the world. A pure and positive heart who has achieved the innate desire of all humankind in a way that we will never truly understand, free from the burdens of human nature. Freedom.
Sonic is unrelatable and unrealistic. And he is an amazing character.
#sonic the hedgehog#sonic#essay#sonic characterization#sonic fandom#long post#sonic analysis#my first time writing and posting an essay online about sonic!#i've come to realize that people may actually be interested in what i have to say#and i am very passionate about sonic so this was a great exercise for me
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