#necessarily view herself that way so!! when she does joke like that with someone it says something about her level of comfort with them

[fatelcved]

me every time i write something in which i notice chiyo doing something she'd only ever do once she's comfortable with someone:

[diamond-champagne]

Point of View

Paige Bueckers x Azzi Fudd

In which sometimes you need someone else's POV

Part II

It's like you got superpowers

Turn my minutes into hours

Paige is struggling

She’s tired from the lack of sleep, sore from practice, and stressed from school. Paige isn’t necessarily sure when she started to feel like everything was too much but everyday she feels herself giving way to the pressure and expectations that she and others place on her. 

The blonde isn’t sure when it all got to be so hard. It wasn’t always this difficult but somewhere between studying on planes and not getting enough sleep something in her had snapped. 

It was like those huge buckets at the waterpark that slowly filled with water and on a set interval turned to drench all the little ones with water. Except there was nothing playful or even exciting about how Paige was feeling. She was simply just waiting to tilt over; to let it all out. And when everything became too much and she spilled over, Paige would adjust herself and keep it moving because she doesn’t have time to dwell in it; whatever it is. Not when there’s workouts to be had, homework to do, and events to attend. 

So, Paige pushed through despite how much she didn’t want to. She pushed through practice, studying, and she’s pushing through the group outing at Ted’s. The blonde doesn’t want to go but she doesn’t want to miss out on what could possibly be her favorite moments with her favorite people. The basketball player also doesn’t want anyone to think less of her or know she’s anything less than 100 percent. 

It takes damn near all of her energy but she manages. Cue fake laughter here and a small joke there. Insert a smirk there and faux interest here. Every movement planned and placated specifically to not raise any eyebrows. 

But then Azzi arrives and suddenly Paige isn’t acting anymore because her laugh is real and the banter is effortless. Her smirk is natural and she hangs onto every word that Azzi says because she wants to memorize her voice for years to come. Slowly but surely the dark cloud that has been a permanent fixture over Paige has evaporated and the body that used to lag with exhaustion is now buzzing with energy.

The best friends have only been engaging in conversation for a few minutes but Paige swears that Azzi has been fighting off the looming darkness for a lifetime. 

You got more than 20-20, babe

Made of glass the way you see through me

You know me better than I do

Can't seem to keep nothing from you

Maybe Azzi has been fighting off the dark cloud that seems to follow Paige. It seems to be the case when she shows up at the older girl’s apartment one day to demand answers. 

Paige doesn’t immediately give in though, wanting to not bother her best friend with her own battles. Her not being able to swim does not mean Azzi is to drown.

“What are you talking about?” Paige asks. The blonde thinks she might have gotten too good at lying because the way her voice goes up a pitch and her head cocks to the side is so natural to her, she almost believes that she doesn’t know what Azzis is really asking her. Almost.

“Don’t play dumb with me, Bueckers.” Azzi growls. The use of her last name makes Paige flinch and that makes Azzi soften. The curly-haired girl is simply tugging on the tether that keeps them connected and afloat. The last thing she wants to do is push them further away. So despite the frustration that flows through her veins, she takes a deep breath before reaching for her favorite blonde-haired girl. 

“Tell me what’s wrong.” Azzi whispers in Paige's ear as she engulfs her in a hug. Her tone is soft like she’s trying not to scare her blue-eyed girl away. It is accompanied by a soft hand that runs from the base of her neck to the end of her back. 

Paige doesn’t know what exactly causes her to break like a cheap rubber band but suddenly she wipes one tear. And another. And another until there’s too many and her body is shaking. 

She guesses that despite not wanting her team to know, she wishes that someone did; that someone cared enough to see when she wasn’t okay.

Azzi knew. Of course she did.

How you touch my soul from the outside?

Permeate my ego and my pride

“Babe, tell me what’s wrong.” Azzi gently demands of her best friend. The words acted as a key for a lock that Paige didn’t know existed because suddenly she can’t stop talking. 

She’s going on and on about her classes and then work and the team. How everything is too much. How it’s all pulling her in different directions. How she feels the need to be everything to everyone and nothing to herself. Is she allowed to not want everything she’s worked so hard for? Is she allowed to breathe?

When she’s done, the boulder that has situated itself on Paige’s chest is gone but it’s pain is still prevalent. Her vision is blurry and spotty. Her voice feels so far away as if she’s not in her own body. Her ears are hot and her heartbeat is loudly beating through them. 

Paige is spiraling but well maybe not. 

Because soon, Azzi’s voice is in her ear telling her to match her breathing and Paige feels a cold hand over her heart before those same hands are pulling her closer.

“Babe, why didn’t you tell me?” The question rings on the blonde’s ears but she can’t answer because Azzi has tears running down her face and the sight is devastating to Paige. 

“Don’t cry” the blonde whispers as she reaches to wipe the stray tears from her Azzi’s face. The action causes the younger girl to chuckle because how is it that the most caring person she knows is experiencing so much pain.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t want to be a burden. I also didn’t want the team to think I wasn’t 100 percent. It’s been tough since my injury and the last thing I need is for people to doubt me again because I can’t handle a little pressure.”

“Look at me.” Azzi commands. She waits until her favorite pair of blue eyes meet hers before continuing. “You could never be a burden, P. No one worth listening to would ever doubt you for your internal struggles. It’s shitty, yes but this does not define who you are.”

Paige nods a little before leaning in to hug her best friend once more before settling herself on Azzi’s chest.

“You don’t have to be 100 percent to be loved, Paige. I love you through it all.”

“I love you too”

[formerlybnhabeans]

Class 1a pride headcanons let's gooooo 🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

Going by seat order bc I'm autistic and it makes good sense

Also no mineta bc I don't know what to do with him

1. Aoyama 🌟🩶

Nonbinary and aspec. They aren't sure if they have a definitive gender one way or another but if anyone asks they just say "sparkling of course!! ✨️" as for sexuality/romantic attraction they are asexual and still questioning their romantic alignment. Honestly they would be happy going through life with maybe some qpps and not really thinking too much about it

2. Mina 👽��

Bi as hell babey!! Everyone is gorgeous in their own way!! Mina falls in love so fast and with so many people she's just like. Everyone deserves love and if she's gotta be the one to give it then so be it.

3. Tsu 🐸💚

Distinguished lesbian. Not afraid to tell the other 1a girls what makes them attractive. Tsu loves complimenting ppl and feels very proud of herself whenever the other girls get flustered bc she knows it means she's made their entire day.

4. Iida ⏩️💙

Bisexual and doesn't know what to do about it. Has many panicked conversations with Tensei over finding people attractive and feeling very weird about it bc they all live together and also puberty hormones hit him like a truck about a month or so after meeting everyone.

5. Ochako 🌌🩷

Pansexual. Very proud of it. Often seen very loudly validating her classmates identities and making sure that any potential homophobes and transphobes know that they will be punted into the stratosphere if they so much as breathe wrong in the general direction of anyone ochako cares about

6. Ojiro 🐒🤎

Token cishet. Great ally tho.

7. Kaminari ⚡️💛

Nonbinary and bisexual. Pronouns vary by the day. Often jokes that they've never made a decision in their entire life because of this. When they go pro there ends up being an official line of Chargebolt merch that has the slogan "gender? I don't even know'er!" On it.

8. Kirishima 💪❤️

Bisexual but kind of oblivious to it. Equates attraction to admiring someone for being "manly." It is discovered at some point during his years at UA that his personal definition of manly just encompasses all the traits that he finds attractive in a person plus other traits he admires but isn't necessarily into. This makes for a very confusing journey of self-discovery.

9. Kouda 🐇🤍

Grey ace. Questions his gender sometimes but is not overly concerned with what gender is the right one. More interested in solid friendships than dating too and so he ends up with qpps as his most meaningful relationships

10. Sato 🍫💛

Stereotypical cake loving aro ace. He doesn't care what everyone else is doing, he's busy perfecting his ganache.

11. Shouji 🤝🩵

On the ace spectrum but still figuring out exactly where. He has body image issues due to trauma and that kind of effects his views on attraction and romance.

12. Jirou 🎵💜

She thinks she's bi but she's still figuring it all out. Honestly anyone that can vibe to music with her could catch her eye, and she especially likes people that have slightly odd tastes such as listening to classical music or pre-quirk pop*

*(this is based on the headcanon that bnha takes place a couple hundred years into the future. Pre-quirk pop would just be the pop of the 80s up to about now in her view)

13. Sero ���🩶

(I couldn't find a tape emoji so bandaid it is)

Pansexual. He and ochako get along very well bc not only do they share an identity in this way, they also both feel like they're parenting their respective neurodivergent friend groups lol.

14. Tokoyami 🐦‍⬛🖤

Homoromantic ace. Sometimes does Bird Things to show his affection like bringing gifts and trinkets to ppl he is interested in or like nesting with their stuff. He finds these urges embarrassing but everyone else thinks it's cute and adores him for it.

15. Todoroki ❄️🔥❤️🤍

Gay gay homosexual gay. Has absolutely no idea how romance or crushes or teenage hormones or anything is supposed to work so he just does not realize that it isn't normal to daydream about cuddling his male classmates. Ochako gently explains the concept of a crush to him after he mentions something about this offhand and it blows his fucking mind.

16. Hagakure 🌫🤍

Bisexual and a very proud member of the Loving Women Club. Has a huuuuggeee crush on Mirko (which like, same girl).

17. Bakugou 💥🧡

Gay. Has a very specific taste in men but he won't tell anyone what it is because like three people on the entire planet fit the criteria (in his mind anyway) and he does not want anyone figuring out who he might be into because he sees it as weakness. Even after he goes to therapy he describes his type as "certain dumbasses who have issues and can't take a single fucking hint" so.

18. Deku 🐰💚

Bisexual disaster and everyone around him knows it. Has like 3 crises a day over finding random classmates attractive and overthinks everything there is to overthink in the situation. Luckily for him everyone knows what he's like and how his brain works and they find it endearing (even if certain classmates won't say it out loud)

19. Yaomomo ⚛️❤️

Lesbian. Momo recognizes that all the girls around her are so pretty and talented and it's a win for her bc they have such a culture of uplifting each other so she's constantly getting compliments from very pretty girls. She's living her best life as the president of the loving UA women club.

Bonus: shinso!!! 🐱💜

Shinso uses the Queer umbrella label. He has a preference for men but is generally attracted to any gender. When he transfers into class A the first two weeks are like a constant crisis bc he's like. Getting attention from all these attractive and talented people??? And they like him for who he is??? Paralyzing.

[asoulofatlantis]

in regards to the Elaine vs Agnes debate isn't van older then her by a good amount and he views her asa sister

You are new to my Tumblr, aren't you? Most people who occasionally read my live reactions wouldn't ask that question.

Before I answer that, let me give you two warnings: 1. I do not care what people want to hear, I answer this truthfully, if you can not take that, you should not read my answer. 2. It will be long, so prepare yourself for that. (There is no such thing as a short answer if you ask me something like this XD)

Van is 8 years older. Which is something Agnes herself notices at the beginning of the first Kuro game - not that it stopped her from having feelings for Van, why should she and how? It's not like feelings can be stopped just because the number between her age and his age is above what some people would deem "normal".

So she is 16 and he is 24. (For comparison purposes, Tita was 12 when she meet Agate and he was 24 as well. That is 12 years apart. Also all of Rean students - aside from Altina - as well as Elise and Alfin were 16 when Rean was 20 years old, which still makes a 4 years age gap. Despite that non of these relationships are necessarily only platonic - its obviously optional in Reans case, but it is an official option nothing the less.) Despite the "old age" jokes they make left, right and Center, Van is barely an adult at this point. In fact, in some cases, Agnes does actually show more maturity than Van.

In any case. Why should it matter that Agnes is 8 years younger anyway? Love is Love. And with 16, she is old enough to actually really fall in love and understand what stands behind the feeling. And the fact that she herself pointed the age difference out, makes it also clear that she understands what it means to fall in love with a slightly older man too.

Van has NEVER officially said that he views her as a sister, which is, funny enough, in the Trails universe, a lot more reason to believe he actually does. After all, the "I love her like a sister/I love him like a brother but I am actually going to fall in love with this person or am just in denial right now" - thing is a running gag in Trails since Sky. Agnes herself assumes that Van sees her more like a sister and said as much, but Van never actually said it. It is definitely very likely that as of right now, he does not see her as a woman, but rather a girl and thus isn't even open to the possibility that his feelings could be more. (This is something that can change with time, as we could see with Agate, who had it much harder because Tita was in fact just a child when they met and he did in fact first only see her as a replacement for his dead sister and yet manage to not fail to notice how beautiful she has become - and he did not notice that in the way a brother would...)

In the Agnes VS Elaine debate, my first and foremost thought is that I think and feel like Agnes would be better for Van. That has nothing to do with age, because age does not decide if someone is better for you or not. It has anything to do with the way Agnes loves and accepts Van and how Elaine not just failed to fully accept the dark side of Van and the way he lives his life, it also leads to some serious trust issues that can only lead to failure.

I feel like Van and Elaine cling to each other, because they were never truly able to finish what they have started and just run after the "what could have been". Like Christopher and Lorelai in Gilmore Girls always did. The line "You are the men I want to want" shows that sometimes, wanting to be with someone, isn't enough. Elaine does love Van and I am certain that he has feelings for her as well, they both made that clear enough relatively in the beginning of Kuro 2. But is it enough? Is it strong enough to live past the fact that Elaine is such an awfully lawfully bracer and Van actually sometimes works for traitors and murderers? In Kuro 2, when Van was forced to work for Harwood, Elaine needed to "crash swords" with him, to make sure he is not doing something evil. She has to fight the man she loves to be able to know she can trust him? Was does this say about her feelings and their relationship and what his job VS her job does with it? Nothing good!

And while Elaine certainly is almost too mature for my liking (honestly, I do miss the jealousy of Estelle, Elie and Alisa so freaking much these days - and funny enough, the one time Elaine was jealous, it was of the wrong girl - as well as the need to be close. Estelle, Elie and Alisa always strove to stand and sit close/next to the man they love and Elaine? Couldn't care less. She lets Agnes be next to Van almost all the freaking time. It annoys me so freaking much! That isn't even maturity and being nice anymore. Its plain stupid. She doesn't even see Agnes as a thread. But freaking Shizuna? *achem* Sorry, I lost it here for a minute... moving on...) it is Agnes who has accepted Van the way he is, with all his dark colors, while the Situation in Kuro 2 pretty much shows that Elaine has not yet accepted all of Vans darker colors.

Aside from all that. There is one more reason why Agnes is not completely out of the competition for Van just yet. And that is the way the game is doing things. It is clear without a doubt that Elaine dominates the game when it comes to who Vans loveinterest is. But is it absolutly denying the chance of Agnes and Van? Its not!

Kuro 2 was Elaines game. She was there often, was having a more leading role in the story and her relationship with Van certainly developed a lot. And yet, around the end of the game, the game doesn't just let you simply choose between Elaine and Agnes (even tho you can Switch whenever you want) it also makes it clear through the calls of Renne and Zin that there is indirectly a romantic context behind your decision. They could have easily have Van think that both Elaine and Agnes might need help with what they were doing and that he should check on them both and see if he could help them one at a time. But instead the game insisted on pointing out via Zin and Renne that your choice is not without a deeper meaning. I've spend all of Vans time with Agnes and I even got Van telling Agnes she is cute. And you get something like this for Elaine as well. This was not just a school festival thingy without any meaning. We also have a scene in one of the games on the rooftop of the house were Van lives in, which has an odd lighting (in as if it is showing that around Agnes, everything is more bright...) and an interesting mood that even the Solutions-Office comments as rather lovey-dovey. The game gives you all that. For what?

Agnes has decided to tell Van about her feelings despite the fact that she feels like she has lost to Elaine. We had that with Kloe too and it was just a thing to finish that part of her character-arc and make her move on. And that could be the case here too. But I can not help but wonder if it isn't possible that if Van knows about her feelings, he might reconsider his own? Who knows?

All that aside... I stay with Agnes being the better choice, no matter what. And I also stay with the fact that Agnes ages has absolutely nothing to do with he question if Agnes is the better choice or not.

Also... just saying. My aunt was 15, when she fell in love with my uncle (who was working with my father, my aunts older brother at the time and that is how they met) who is quite a few years older than her and told my father she wants the man and she will have him (even tho my father told her that she is a stupid cow and will never get him XD) and they married a few years later. They are over 60 now and still happily married. Still exchanging random kisses when passing each other in their flat. That is true love. And that there is an age difference between them that is higher than 5 years, didn't matter at all. That is what I grew up with and that is why I know that if you truly are in love and that if the other person truly loves you too, 10 years age gap or more, do not matter. Happiness should be the goal and not to fit into societies questionable standers.

That said. I will live with whatever Falcom choses for Van. But I might not be happy about it XD (And yes, I am very much aware that my chances are smaller here. But not 0 at least.)

I will refrain from writing my "How Tita and Agate show how Age-Gap love works" - Essay here. I think I brought my thoughts across enough.

[ramonadecember]

👀👀👀 for Moth:

Eros 3, 4

Philia 1, 5

Storge 5

Agape 3, 5

Ludus 3, 4

Pragma 2

Philautia 1

oc love asks.

baby’s first dnd character!! my beloved beef boy!!

—

Eros/3: Moth is more or less fine with some level of PDA, he just doesn’t necessarily instigate a lot of it, and he’d definitely ‘get a room!’ etc. people who are being too ‘gross,’ haha. he’s just a kinda awkward dude, so being affectionate doesn’t always go so well, though some people seem to find it endearing. Moth is also def a ‘the more he drinks, the more affectionate he is’ kind of guy too.

Eros/4: he definitely doesn’t think love at first sight is a thing and would roll his eyes at anyone who tries to say differently. lust at first sight is totally a thing though. there’s been many a time he’s spotted someone and been like yes yeah that right there and gone for it (or ya know… tried. see the above ‘awkward’ thing lmfao), and he’s def joked about ‘that’s the person I’m going to marry’ etc. based solely on looks, but Moth is not dumb enough to think it’s actually love. 

Philia/1: his best friend is a half-elf named Addy! being new to dnd, me and my friend who joined at the same time kind of tied our backstories in with the other’s so that we could be in it together lol. they’ve been together since childhood when Moth’s mother moved them from their clan to the town where Addy lived. the term ‘thick as thieves’ is great for them because, well, there’s been a lot of thievery in the course of their friendship, haha. they get into SO much trouble together, and on their own, but they always have the other person to get them through. ride or die status for sure. he’s done worse for less.

Philia/5: that Addy makes it with the NPC guard that doesn’t understand she’s flirting lmfao but for real, Addy… got herself into some pretty big trouble back home, which is why she had no problem dropping everything to set off with Moth when he asked her to accompany him on his overly complicated dad-finding mission. so he’d really like for her to get that sorted out, because yes they sometimes do questionable things, but she doesn’t deserve this particular situation. and Moth is very much ready to go to extremes to make it happen if he has to, even if it’s not his usual style. 

Storge/5: I mean… I feel like he wouldn’t see the point of living someone if it’s not going to be reciprocated. sounds like a good way to make yourself hurt for no reason. if you do love someone though, it shouldn’t be transactional (which means something considering his views on altruism (see the below answer)). that’s not love. Moth has also definitely experienced unconditional love in the form of his mom. she knows he’s a… but of a delinquent and it doesn’t change how she loves him, even when he’s not making great choices. 

Agape/3: Moth thinks that doing things for altruistic reasons is a missed opportunity lol. he doesn’t think that it’s a naive choice or that it’s dumb to do good just for the sake of doing good, Moth just doesn’t know why you wouldn’t try to get more out of a situation. his first question when someone asks something of him is typically along the lines of what’s in it for him/what’s the pay. other people may be altruistic, and that’s good for them, but it ain’t Moth’s typical thing.

Agape/5: I wouldn’t say Moth empathizes with his enemies, but he doesn’t just like… kill them like it’s nothing. Moth tries to avoid it if he can, sneaking around, talking his way out of things, knocking people out of it comes to that. right now his life has mostly consisted of mutated creatures and needing to get rid of them, so that also helps too, he doesn’t feel as bad about zapping giant rats as he does about people. though it’s much grosser. 

Ludus/3: he’s definitely down for a one night stand. Moth isn’t necessarily like… actively seeking them out, and he doesn’t mind repeats, but he ain’t gonna turn down a pretty face just because he knows it’s only for the night. Moth is pretty casual about all things dating/sex/relationship-wise anyway, so he’s not necessarily looking for ~more~, and he’s sure that if he was, he wouldn’t confuse a one time hookup with someone showing actual interest.  

Ludus/4: people are prone to believing Moth’s first crush was Addy, but I don’t think it was. I’m honestly not entirely sure, but I’m more thinking like… one of the orcs from his clan. man or woman, all big and muscley… Moth would have had major heart eyes. bonus points for the fact that there’s zero chance they would have given the time of day, and that they could have snapped him over his knee lmfao.

Philautia/1: Moth has a pretty good sense of his worth/value, he’s actually… fairly well adjusted (particularly when considering he’s a character created by me lmfao). maybe things have been a little rough over the course of his life and as he grew up, but get hasn’t really let it get to him. he’s got work that he likes and is good at even if it’s mostly shady work lol, moving from the clan to a town full of all sorts of races help nip the majority insecurity over only being a half-orc in the bud, and though his father is out of the picture he’s still got a mom who loves him so much. so even when insecurities do arise over those things like they’re bound to, he’s pretty good at knowing that’s he’s still… okay.

[taesiccc]

Your part- Pt.1 

PAIRING: Yandere Taehyung x Reader (f) 

GENRE: Yandere au, smut, angst 

TW: Mature content, mentions of violence, Yandere 

RATING: 18+ 

DISCLAIMER: Mentions of all characters and events occurring in this writing are fictitious and only written solely for entertainment purposes. 

SYNOPSIS: You’re married to Taehyung. A stranger you've only seen twice or so. you find yourself neglected of pleasures in the marriage and does this have anything to do with Taehyung's medical history? what is that affecting him? what could he have done worse?? A.. Crime?......perhaps..?

The room was hot and filled with lewd noises followed by wild grunts and groaning that echoed along your ear. His sweet voice had you wanting for more. How could someone be so perfect with something they didn’t even try? You can say otherwise cause, riding him had some work to put up considering his girth that stood very stubborn around your tight core. The torture is ever so real..having to hear him moan so much while his normal talking had you going nuts in no damn time. He’s making you want more and more. 

Perseverance is something that is having you stopping form forming knots in your stomach. It certainly feels good but at what cost? 

“Angh…”

His voice echoed as you can feel liquids starting to squirt through your sensitivity. You quickly shift away from such actions form taking place. You weren’t necessarily ready for something as big as that from happening. It was certainly a feeling not some mere fact.

Besides that, you were quite surprised by the endurance level he held. You laid there still needy, wanting to badly get off. His climax was wayyyy early destroying your hopes of wanting to jerk off at least a couple of times before quitting. Your breathing was unstable from such intense and sudden let down. This was unexpected and you are not too brave to ask the man beside you to properly fuck you. Your fingers made their way to your still sensitive skin, wanting to do better for yourself. Not caring about the man who laid there calming himself. Not bothering about such presence. Not bothering if this would make him needy again. Not bothering if he had to suffer some large erections, for his size at least. When you can do better for yourself, you certainly need no dick service.

*****

“Mhmm..”

I laid there uncovered. Still with her. My eyes wandered about the other side not wanting to look at the scene. I was a breathing mess. But her moans have me invested. Very invested. It would be a sin to look away from such pretty sounds. To be not noticed. Hence why I was forced to look over.

She laid there back facing and away from me. Her hair fell back, ever so messy than it had ever been. Naked and sweaty. Giving me the entire view of her ass. I wasn’t some stupid dude but her mouth said otherwise. Her moaning and breathing making me feel like a douche. Did her fingers work way well than my dick did? Why is she such a brat? Did she feel pathetic for me? For her to spoon herself and finger her while I laid there, like a pathetic piece of trash? Wouldn’t I help her? Right. If not for my excitement. If not for me cumming before she did. If not for my fantasy that happened a little too early. I missed it all. Everything! For me to feel her around me while I held her close to me. To calm her down like a real man..

“..oh…gah-“ 

gosh…but Could I complain? When such preaches that left her pretty mouth had me going hard? Making me feel even fucking bad? When all of them came from right beside me?! I still had the audacity to move my hand. Think of all the things I could still just do to her. When could just pull her figure below me and do it all for her. I had no need to waste my hands on my self when I can work them on her all day long. Till dawn. It didn’t matter. She’s having me feeling this way. Like a complete joke. Cause I am. 

A worthless joker that didn’t deserve sweet applause. 

The bed rose making me bite my lower lip, not wanting her know that I was needy again. Wanting to be pleasured again. My eyes shut close, hiding myself, blocking my view from being seen. She was gone in no time. With no trace of her there, I laid back completely frustrated and guilty. 

Guilty cause I couldn’t give her what she wanted. Not having her cum. Frustrating knowing I’m my own reason to fail my deeds.

Weeks of earning and craving for her. Wanting to touch ever ounce of skin she wore. She probably thinks I’m a lame lad at bed. Maybe even so hating me for my body acting this way. I understand that we’re just married and this just happened cause we felt the same way at the same moment. Feeling like it’s to be done. I wish I could turn back time and do her good too. I certainly feel like a douche bag. 

She wouldn’t know how much I wanted this and how much I hate myself for doing her bad when it’s my equal responsibility. It’s a been a long while since I’ve  had intercourse. But I wouldn’t forgive myself and take that as an excuse. For my dear to trust me in such an intimate process and for her partner-, me, to let her down. 

I’ve been on medications, but those feelings are catching up. I’m hoping for a change like my mom wishes. For her to see her son in complete wellness and a happy family to lead. This is not about my mom but also about me and my interests. I’ve been socially excluded the entire time during my medical process. Keeping me away from friends and family that didn’t mean anything to me. That mean absolutely nothing to me other than my former love, my life, Mia.

I initially had no thoughts of moving on like my mom insisted. Her death affected me on different levels and difficulties to keep me positive from even living this life without her. I never had a good relationship status with my blood. Not even the great mother I’ve been boasting about. But considering the fact that 'Mia would have wanted to see me happy no matter what and that that she really loved me as much as I did' that is, the words of my mother has me thriving this long.

Thriving, until I’ve seen her. My now wife. My now world. The wonderful lady I love with all my might. The woman who bought me out of the spell of Mia. The lady who is deserving of all my affection and this life, Y/n. 

The effects of medications and the exclusion of society from me only made me more introverted than I was. The marriage was well and arranged, while I was still going through the process. I still am. But the effects I’m feeling lately doesn’t look like a change. I'm afraid I'm loosing it all. I'm afraid i'll ruin it myself.

Ever since our lips collided within on the wedding alter, my feelings had been off limits. I’ve been feeling like the lovesick, touch deprived boy I was. When we pulled away, the sense of security and comfort I felt in her presence had me believe that everything was gonna be okay. I love her and she loves me. I know that. She should love me like I do. And I know she does. We didn’t exchange much words but she understood me better than anyone ever did. I never went unnoticed of anything about her. Her smile, her shyness, her awkwardness anytime we we’re close, you name it...

Things escalated this afternoon tho. We got into each other and ended up literally-….inside each other. The feeling was euphoric if not for me feeling a little to overwhelmed of her riding me instead. I couldn’t bring up to such feeling in a long long time. How could I stay calm when I was finally feeling her like I wanted? When I notice our lips devouring each other’s perfectly? When I tasted her savory, and oh so well? When could finally squeeze her ass all into my palm? When I could mark her mine? But things changed… and I am ever so mad for not pleasuring my darling like I wanted to…like I intended to..

I could kill myself for this. For my baby to even let her touch herself when her dearest husband was right by her. Watching her, and doing nothing about it.

*****

His palm rested on the table out of pure distress towards himself. Feeling guilty and euphoric at the same time. Trying to digest the fact that his princess offered him all she could while considering him the worst thing that happened within. How could he forgive himself? It wasn’t something as simple for him. Something as intimate with his lover would mean the world to him. And for him to screw that up? No. Never fine. Surely enough. Trying to cope with these emotions that started getting back at him, as he remembers that it’s time for his medication. The same way, the same affection, the same effect everything was the carbon copy of how he fel-

The door knocked him out of his thoughts from escalating.

A sick smile wept up his lips.

“Taehyung? It’s time for your medications…I-I’ll just leave then on the counter”

“…she sure loves me …she would never hate me..” 

-you never failed him when it came to his health, and so did his beliefs when it came to you.

*****

Weeks passed. And things were going on like the other days. Except for how awkward we would feel beside each other. I am not someone who took something like that seriously although I did at the moment. But I’m definitely over it. Who isn’t greedy when it comes to sex? Upset at the moment, but now it’s just playing hide and seek around the house. I seriously can’t face him.

This is something I really feared too. I regret doing such things without getting closer on a psychological basis. Now we can’t even see each other. I won’t blame him for all of it since I’m not a big of a talk myself. I’m quite introverted and should I say? Getting close to a stranger you married is definitely not a easy task for me. I did fall for him. A little too much. I must say. But who wouldn’t? For such a killer beauty like his? And such a polite and humble man that he is. He’s been nothing but kind to me. Nothing but loving. Even tho it’s hard for me to notice sometimes.

I understand that he’s been depressed like his mom told me. And that he must take prescriptions constantly. To be honest she’s always acting fishy when asked about Taehyung and his health and the reason he's going through such hard times but I don’t have such skills to dig deeper in conversations with someone like her. Again, a stranger. He seems really conserved but I know he would be a little more comfortable if we avoided these encounters between us. If we could spend more time understanding each other and then proceed with some sexual activity. But I can’t help myself from thinking of that specific night. Even tho he couldn’t satisfy me on an entire basis, riding him is still too much to handle.

For me to see him as a humble cute guy and to him moaning and groaning under me has a lotttt of difference on its own. It has me fantasizing on things lately. I’m pretty sure that it’s no sin. Sometimes it’s hard for me to think about the same man that way and still just live with him after one incomplete encounter. I would find myself fantasize at work and later come home in a hurry just to pleasure myself to his name. It’s much of a horny life in this house. Even having dinner is being sexually consumed by my brain. It’s definitely that I am sexually frustrated on all levels. But I wouldn’t just go fall upon him for validation and pleasure since I respect his place a whole lot and am more than determined to have him comfortable around me. But I can’t just tell you on a guaranteed basis that I wouldn’t get turned on just at the sight of him.

Sometimes I don’t find Taehyung in common places where we spend together. He would just leave to his room right away and have himself seated at dinner. Taehyung himself is fishy that way. Now, I’m not entirely sure if he feels the same way too but I could tell immediately if he wants me and I wouldn’t deny that since I’m just trying to help him through. 

“Y/n! be sure to come!” Grace, my colleague had me out of these reoccurring thoughts. 

“YEAH! FOR SURE!” I screamed back as she was almost out the building.

It is her engagement in a few days and we are invited to it. She knows that I am married but her nosy ass always wanna know about our bedroom stories simply because she’s nervous about hers. I don’t usually talk to her but it’s her big day so disappointing her with a 'no, thank you' won’t do any good and I am pretty sure I'm not so rude. It was our time to clock out. Taehyung picks me up from work since we share the same car. No, we don’t work together but we still make things work through the timings. He is usually late due to his medication listings but I still don’t complain. In the end of the day we still reach home. My phone pinged right in time with that one text we exchange on a daily basis. 

“Hey im here” to which I reply “Yeah coming” depending on the mood I’m in. But it doesn’t change the fact that it’s the same darn message content we exchange. 

*****

The ride was silent as usual that is from his side since I ask him about his medications and stuff to which his reply is basically curt. We reached home and I started with the lunch straight away. I’ve had a hectic day and I’m sure he’s had worse.

Time went by. But unusually. For the first time, I could feel his presence behind me having me in lingering anxiety. He slowly closes the space, back hugging me and laying his head on my open crook. At first glance, it only made me pity this poor man. He’s probably tired and feeling down maybe? I just continued with stirring but each passing second only made me nervous. He started pecking my shoulder blade making me feel nervous than usual and somewhat awkward. Something I did not expect. I was definitely going crazy but I needed to stay calm to know his real intentions. And I did when he bit my ear, slowly sighing into it. That’s it. I needed this as bad. I turned right over and god! I was way too close to his sinfully handsome face. His arms tightened over my hips protecting from the heating pot behind me. I was way to close to not kiss him. My hands laid idle on his chest while his breath hit my lips a little too tempting. I gave in as I smooched over his while he took my lips into his in no time. It was passing the time in a passionate kiss we were engaged in. He sucked my lips harder as an uncontrollable whine left my mouth. He slid his tongue into mine making my body surrender right into his touch. Our muscles tucked each other’s making us gulp down if anything was ever remaining. The sounds were getting a little too lewd and I was definitely going wetter. His wide cold palms slid down my shirt as I held his shirt tight feeling this man’s magic spread over me. He is certainly something..Our lips were wet and soaked- swollen with our own produces. Wasn’t this certain? Cause I wanted more.

His body pressed deeper on to mine as my hands held his shirt much tighter, not wanting to leave this be. His hands pressured presses on my back making me moan into his lazy mouth. Oh god! Was I wrong about this man! No matter how I moved his hands kept me steady and his mouth caught me ready. In the midst of making out and devouring each other, breathing was still a thing to remember. He slowly backed out of my face as we took a break, breath colliding into ourselves. His lips backed away from mine making me disappointed in need of my throbbing core. His tongue swirled it’s way out but quick enough, I leaned in and bit his tongue back leading it towards my own so my horny self could claim it till it can. I struck mine into his once again kissing him like a maniac. His lips were so addicting and I wanted more. He himself was addicting, He quickly gave into mine as he smothered himself onto me hinting me his bulge. Our breaths hitched feeling each other at very extreme ends. My hands traveled over his shoulder as gently as possible. I pulled away as I looked into his eyes. They were soft as I searched for approval. He leaned in and pecked me such sweet, whispering a small endearing “please…” that was barely audible considering the closure. I wasn’t sure if that’s what he wanted or if he wanted me to pleasure himself. I was quite dulled down but regardless, it doesn’t matter. Maybe things would lead upon then.

*****

You laid him down. He looked as fine as he could exist. And those lips? No matter how much you kissed him you just couldn’t get enough of them. He was intoxicating you. But just because you are his wife you wouldn’t get yourself into him with the excuse of him going through the phase. You wouldn’t do such things and take advantage of him. This is going to be hard, especially seeing him below you like this, stressed, hearing him moan, it’s definitely going to be difficult but it’s about him not about you.

You divert him bu placing your hands in his thigh and leaning in front of him. His breathing gets faster making you nervous. So you near him and kiss his forehead assuring everything with a smile. You continue kissing his neck while slowly moving your hand to let his struggling length free. You slowly suck on his neck making him whine inside. You take your time to shift to his lips and part them with yours so you could hear those beautiful noises. Gliding down his jaw you continue your work as he moans aloud making you even drenched. You pump his length making him groan and throw his head back to the teasing sensation. You take this opportunity and suck his neck and he feels immense pleasure with your magical doings. You pump it a couple more times as his moans get louder and stronger. That’s enough teasing as you pull the fabric down quickly. You are genuinely impressed with the view as it’s the first time you get to see since it was quite dark compared to your last encounter. He is strikingly ethereal making you hold yourself some grip. You look at him as he barely has his eyes open still attempting to look at you. You cut the eye contact as this is something you are really not much familiar with and you don’t wanna fuck this up for him. It’s nerve-racking for you but you still go for it. You take his length in and start circling around the tip. You can taste the tip of it and you finally take it as a whole. He groans inviting your warm and watery mouth. His hands make it over your scalp and his palms tightened around your hair, placing it to his content. Your tongue spreads a wide sheet range along his cock while your lips paint his walls with a glossy slick. his moans filled the room and your gag was too close-

“Agh!…Y/N!…AGHHG-“  

his breath hitches as you continue with the sucking. As far as you are concerned, you don’t remember him having any breathing issues. You mercilessly continue sabotaging his sensitive core with your hands, squeezing his thighs making him yell and scream your name out loud until you feel his climax nearing through his tip. You pull your mouth away, followed by a string of saliva still attached to your pre-cummed lips. You looked over to him and he looked extremely tired from an orgasm you just gave. The sight of him makes you even needy and you needed to exit the place asap. But you can't just leave him like this...He needed care. you swiftly put your hair up in a bun and cleaned him up. he looked really tired and his lids fluttered then and there. you sat beside him patting and swaying your hands over his head. Soon enough he was sleeping like a child while you admired. your mind is still available for giving you all the details of today to keep you awake for the entire night. You were confused...You can’t help but think and ponder…

Was he quite selfish? To approach you like that and let you down? To get you dripping wet and only talk about him? Does he really just use you? Is this the same thing reoccurring? Really? Weren’t you tired? Of giving him what he needs but him denying what you needed? he was no-diaper kid to be dumb to your feelings...he was a grown ass man and that’s what gets on your nerves.

It didn’t matter cause in the end of the day you were still whipped for your husband, Kim Taehyung. Whether it was to suck of his dick to please him or to leave you starving to get fucked. Cause you still believe that he needs space and is probably going through a lot due to his medical issues. You are at least soulfully grateful that he hadn’t gone to some hoe possibly breaking the promises and vows of your wedding.

You still see him as the humble, adorable man you met.

The man who has come to his wife for a problem he has.

You pray self-respect and wouldn’t just suck on someone who needs it. It was your legal husband and you have all the rights on him. But is it wrong to be pissed at his behavior? Of having you want him and then letting you down? Or maybe he’s just not good at intimacy? Are you fucking Stupid after all this shit? You don’t know but, you’re definitely pissed and boy! Very sexually frustrated! You are this close to going to some man for deeds but you won’t. You will wait. You are not some mere whore and you needed know and be reminded of that. You still won’t understand him. Are you just overthinking or is there something about Taehyung?? Is there something about himself that Taehyung’s hiding from you??

That can wait while you still have something to get over with..

to be cont..

[nothing-more-than-hot-leaf-juice]

We don’t talk enough about “The Beach” in terms of Azula (long essay) 

Okay so, I have not stopped thinking about this episode and how it reveals Azula’s entire self image and how it foreshadows her breakdown. So here’s a deep dive: 

We start the episode off with this premise: for the first time in the series we get to see Azula as a normal teenager. We’ve seen her in combat, we’ve seen her as a political force to be reckoned with, and we’ve seen her within her messed-up family. But in this episode we’re seeing her on vacation. From the beginning of the episode, we think that it’s going to be Zuko on edge (”doing nothing is a waste of time, we’re being sent away on a forced vacation”) and Azula enjoying her time off (”lighten up, so dad wants to meet with his advisors alone, without anyone else around. Don’t take it so personally”). But that doesn’t exactly happen. While by no means does Zuko have an easy time on their ‘forced vacation,’ the episode reveals Azula’s weakness and hidden insecurities and foreshadows her breakdown in the series finale. 

The first thing to consider is what we already know about Azula: we know she’s dangerous, a protegee at firebending, politically charismatic, and ruthless. We know that people will side with her if she wants them to (Ty Lee chooses her over the circus, Mai chooses her over her family, the Dai Li choose her over Long Feng, and Zuko chooses her over Iroh). From her introduction, we know she’s the preferred sibling under Ozai and that she knows that. She’s confident because of that. She knows that she’s chosen over Zuko because she wasn’t banished or burned. And in season 3, she’s still winning because if the Avatar’s alive, then Zuko will be the one to suffer the consequences. She’s playing the game of Fire Nation politics and she’s winning. 

But in The Beach, all fire nation politics are cast aside from the first minute of the episode. While we think that Azula will be competent and charismatic here as she is everywhere else, that ends up not being the case and it reveals her hidden vulnerabilities. 

Another thing we know about Azula is that she’s competitive. Her whole life she was conditioned to think in these terms as her father schemed his way onto the throne and constantly compared her and Zuko (and when Zuko got banished it signified to her that she had firmly won that competition and she was worthy of her father’s ‘love’). And in previous episodes, this competitive streak has  worked in her favor. Her ‘eyes on the prize’ approach let her conquer Ba Sing Se, defeat Aang, and convince Zuko to side with her. But The Beach offers a new territory: one entirely dependent on her personality. And she still views it as a competition, but this time she’s not the clear winner. 

They arrive at the beach and for the first time in the series, people aren’t praising her as royalty or fearing her as an adversary, instead she’s treated like a normal person. We saw this with Zuko in season 2 when he was masquerading as an anonymous Earth Kingdom refugee in The Cave of Two Lovers or Zuko Alone (where people offered him their home and food when all they knew him for was his actions) and when he was masquerading as Lee/Li (where he was offered a position as a Freedom Fighter, treated as a normal tea shop worker, and went on a date with a girl all on the basis of his personality), but we’ve never seen this with Azula. In this episode, she’s relying entirely on her personality to navigate this teenage social world and she doesn’t get the results she expects. 

From her perspective, her friends and brother are succeeding in this environment way more than she is and that makes her extremely uncomfortable. From her perpsecive, Mai and Zuko are completely fine spending time with each other and Ty Lee is getting the attention of half a dozen guys at once. But Azula doesn’t fit in. She sees this whole ‘Being a Teenager Thing’ as a competition that she’s loosing.Ty Lee and Mai are invited to a party and she’s cast aside. Ty Lee attracts the attention of half a dozen guys and the guy she complimented just ignores her. People at the party leave her alone when in reality, she wanted to come in order to see what it would be like for people to treat them as normal. And in a normal setting, she’s rejected. 

Azula has her comfort zone and that comfort zone is winning. There are four instances in the episode where we see her comfortable and confident that reveal how she depends on her combat and political skills for her self image. The first is when she’s being ignore while her friends acclimate to the beach social scene. She demands that they play in a game of volleyball because one, she needs to be in charge in order to feel in control of the situation and two, she thinks that there’s a clear path from winning the volleyball game to gaining social acceptance. This is a thing she can do. She knows she’s physically capable and thinks if she can do this, then she’s succeeding at the whole ‘Being a Teenager’ thing. And she does succeed. We see the victory make her feel better about herself because she winning (”yes, we have defeated you for all time, you will never rise from the ashes of your shame and humiliation... well that was fun”).

The second time we see her comfortable is after she kisses Chan. From her perspective, part of succeeding at the whole ‘Being a Teenager Thing’ is attracting guys, like Ty Lee, and being in a relationship, like Mai and Zuko. This isn’t necessarily something she actually wants, but it’s something that she perceives as an element of winning. So she plays the part of ‘pretty girl who laughs at unfunny jokes’ and kisses the guy she wants to kiss. This is a win in her books and she has her moment of comfort: 

“Together, you and I will be the strongest couple in Fire Nation history. We will dominate the earth!” 

From the offset, this is just a joke at Azula’s expense like the previous one was, but it says a lot about how she views her self-worth. Her default comfort zone is ambitious, political, militaristic. This is her ‘normal’ and when she thinks she’s finally figured out this whole ‘Being a Teenager Thing’ by kissing this guy, she tries to branch over this false persona she’s constructed to please this guy to her actual self and when that happens, she’s rejected and it hurts her. 

The third moment of comfort is during the campfire scene where Azula sees that, no, unlike what she originally thought, her friends are actually dealing with their own issues and aren’t doing so well. What this means to her is that maybe she is winning. Maybe they’re better at the whole ‘Being a Teenager Thing,’ but they have these other issues: neglect, insecurity, and self-hatred and she tells herself ‘I don’t have those problems, so clearly I’m the one winning here.’ She drags out the issues of her friends because she wants to know that no, they aren’t doing as well as she thought they were. She slow claps and says “well, those were wonderful performances everyone” and we see that she feels better in this small group where she’s the one not screaming and crying about her problems. And this is mean, but it’s undeniably rooted in insecurity. Azula needs to feel like the most competent person in the room. She needs to feel in control because she’s grown up in an environment where being the ‘weak one’ meant getting your face burned off and banished. Azula can’t afford vulnerability. She’s never been able to afford vulnerability, so she surrounds herself by people she can control. And so long as she holds the reigns, so long as she’s perceived as the strong one, it means she’s okay. 

But the thing is she does have those problems. Because after those first two moments of comfort, she gets rejected for who she is. She’s not invited to the party because people think she’s intimidating and weird. Chan leaves after he kisses her because she reveals her true colors. There’s only one other episode where we’ve seen someone actively reject Azula’s personality and there’s a moment of vulnerability where she reveals how that rejection shaped her self-image: 

“I could sit here and complain about how our mom liked Zuko more than me, but I don’t really care. My own mother thought I was a monster. She was right of course, but it still hurt.” 

Azula hasn’t had to think of herself in terms of her personality in years because the last person who valued her as a person, not as royalty or a weapon, was her mother. And her mother saw faults in her. Her mother wondered aloud what was wrong with her. Her mother didn’t like her as much as she liked Zuko and that’s something Azula internalized, even if she was able to mask it up with apathy and cruelty. After Ursa left, she was the unequivocal favorite child. She was the talented one. She wasn’t dishonored or banished like Zuko and she held onto that victory because ‘winning’ the competition of ‘favored sibling’ was the closest thing to love that she got. It didn’t matter who she was as a person, it only mattered that she got results, so she focused all her energy there and came out victorious. Her friends stayed loyal to her out of fear for the most part and she knew it, that’s why she had the circus set Ty Lee’s net on fire and why she guilted Mai into not trading her brother for Bumi. She’s convinced herself that “fear is the only reliable way” because she’s never been shown that people can love her for herself. 

The fourth moment of comfort is when she’s commanding the destruction of Chan’s party. In this moment she said ‘screw these people, I’m superior and I know it. I’m the princess of the Fire Nation, I’m stronger, and they are nothing in comparison to me.” 

This is the mentality she’s been conditioned with for years and by the end of the episode, she defaults to it because it makes her feel strong whereas in reality, she failed at the whole ‘Being a Teenager Thing.’ People didn’t like her. She was rejected for the first time in a long time.

And her greatest fear is this rejection. We see it in the Zuko Alone flashbacks, we see it when Mai and Ty Lee betray her in The Boiling Rock, and we see it when she banishes everyone closest to her in Sozin’s Comet. She anticipates rejection and she acts to snip out the people who can reject her before it happens. 

And the tragedy is, it ends up not being enough. Mai and Ty Lee don’t choose her. Ozai decides to leave her out of the invasion. Zuko takes the throne. There’s no longer her father there to please and no more commands to give. For years she was confident and charismatic because she was in control and in the game of Fire Nation politics, she was winning. For Azula’s entire life, winning that game meant you were worth something and losing it meant that you were thrown away. While she was in control of those around her, while they feared and worshiped her, it meant she was winning. 

But the rejection she faces in The Beach foreshadowed her ultimate downfall because when all her influence and control was stripped away, she was all alone. 

[stopbeingnecrophiles]

⚠️warning post regarding the users weimu (now ppgd), flonnezillas, & stupidneet (check blog description for updated urls)

UPDATE AS OF 5/02/2021 (BEFORE POSTING):  the user weimu now goes under the name “gabberzon“. this url was a past username flonnezillas owned, and is now in use under the user weimu. user flonnezillas has terminated (to our knowledge). stupidneet has also changed her url to darkishcircles. UPDATE AS OF 5/14/2021 (BEFORE POSTING): raquel has deleted her server. the people behind the post still find everything here relevant and necessary to bring to light. 

the following post was made as a warning to showcase the behavior of some of the users on the site. if you're a minor we highly discourage you from interacting with any of the individuals mentioned; if you're 18+, do as you wish but with discretion (and the trigger warnings in mind). we find the things these users have said and done to be morally reprehensible, and to be genuinely concerning. this isn't some random petty callout post; we sincerely believe the behavior of those mentioned to be genuinely concerning and need to be brought to light.

that being said, we also do not condone the harassment or hate towards these users. the people behind this blog recognize that bringing forth this sort of thing may incite other users to do so, but we highly are against it. sending hate and harassment is not the way to go about this. simply stay away from those users if you have nothing better to add to the situation. thank you.

(all images have been censored for proper viewing. if you don't believe the claims being made, you're free to ask for the uncensored versions of the screenshots off anonymous so long as you're 18+. usernames/icons censored are of the minors or those irrelevant to the post in the server.)

⚠️ major tw: necrophilia, lolicon + pedophilia mentions, nsfw, irl gore (one image in particular contains a 17 year old girl)/drawn guro, & underaged characters in torture/sexual situations. ⚠️

users mentioned + their past/present urls (please check description of the blog for updated urls): 

raquel/witch/cas (17 yrs at the time of posting) (neko865 > ureshichan > autismchan > weimu >  gabberzon >  omduvarmin > ppgd | past sideblogs were disgustchan, suicidegirlsjp, and now currently speedcorebeach [tw for guro/gore]) 

dasch/rena (18 yrs at the time of posting ) (catgirlmode >  slashermedia > mawisa > stupidneet > femcelirl > darkishcircles  > aspiechan > 719203727299272910822810 > 71920372729922980822810) 

maid/val/vale/valentine (20 yrs at the time of posting ) (morimiyamiddleschoolshooting > raspberry-valentine > nekrofylia > phonestalker > gabberzon > pukemaid > morimiya > flonnezillas | sideblog named ichigomashimaros)

url proof here. 

TW: THE SERVER ITSELF AND ITS CONTENTS

first thing we’d like to address here is raquel’s server and what goes on in it, as the server is not at all properly ran or moderated well. on her blog, she explicitly states this:

but still allows those under the age of 16 to join her server, and doesn’t even make it mandatory to make an intro or for the users in there to state if they’re a minor or not. however there are minors that are in the server, and it’s clear who they are. we wont be showing who they are, but there are a handful that have joined and are active within it.

raquel herself is also a minor (being 17) so it’s odd that she wouldn’t make sure that fellow minors wouldn’t be kept away from some of the things that are said and shown in the server. that being said, a few of the conversations that have gone on publicly in the server have been about:

dasch’s tights and how sweaty they were, with raquel and maid talking about wanting to do things to her tights

dasch offering her bra 

talking about having phone sex together

openly condoning gore in the chats and saying it’s fine to be 100% okay with gore (which isn’t true, it’s fine to have a fascination with gore but to be 100% okay with it or even obsess over it is not okay). 

(screenshots of the conversations can be found here & here.)

we recognize that a few of these conversations are obviously jokes/banter between the three, but it is still wildly inappropriate to publicly talk like this where minors can see. you have an nsfw chat, at least use it properly.  (important to note: in raquel’s server, the nsfw & real life gore channels were opened to the public for awhile, accessible to anyone at any age, before there was a complaint to make them hidden with a role. even with a role implemented, the guro channel is still visible to those who have the ‘baby’ role [and as guro is, the content is very sexual].)

TW: NECROPHILIA IN THE SERVER

second thing that is worthy of being addressed is how (mainly) dasch and maid fetishize irl gore, dead bodies, and crime scene photos. as stated prior, we’ve censored out the images that were posted, but if you would prefer to see uncensored versions of the images (if you somehow don’t believe what is being censored), you’re welcomed to come off anon and ask for the uncensored versions (so long as you are 18+). like the rest of the screenshots, they can be found in a separate link here.

TW: CONTENTS OF THEIR BLOGS & SOCIAL MEDIA

third thing that is noteworthy of the people mentioned are the things they post publicly to their blogs. on raquel’s blogs, she has warnings in her pinned posts. 

the warnings on her blog, while one being genuine and the other uncaring, do in fact warn users that content on her blogs are nsfw and explicitly state what she posts. however, this doesn’t mean she is exempt from criticism of what she posts. anytime raquel is called out for posting something questionable, she simply blames it all on “terfs”, that she’s allowed to post the things she posts because she is also a minor, or that you’re in the wrong for insinuating that a csa victim would even have lolicon art. raquel is not free from criticism from this, as she has posted art with actual children in it. the people behind this post mean no disrespect to raquel and the things she has been through and we respect that entirely. that being said, this does not mean you are free from criticism of the things you post willingly to your blogs. especially when some of the things you’ve posted in the past include children.  when asked why she doesn’t credit artists on her guro blog, this is what she responded with:

someone in her notes also pointed this out, but to our knowledge she never acknowledged what they replied to the post with (censored out as they are not relevant to the post).

regardless if you credit the artist or not, people can reverse image search to find the creator themselves. it’s also worth mentioning that you are blatantly admitting to posting from a pedophilic artist. you are still supporting this pedophile’s art by doing so. you are admitting the guro content you post is from pedophilic sources, and regardless if you source them or not, you are inherently posting pedophilic content.

we’ve provided examples of posts on her main blog here, and examples of posts on her sideblog here. major tw (for lolicon art & underaged characters), although we’ve censored the images, the content is still pretty intense. 

the next person we would like to shed light to and the things they post are maid. since the post started, maid has terminated her account. however some screenshot examples (with links) still exist, so those are what we will be using to explain the sorts of things she posts/has posted. 

before we go on, we would like to make it clear that we have no definitive proof that maid is a pedophile, but the content she is into is very questionable due to the nature of what they are. a few of things that she is into can be considered lolibait, which includes a lot of underaged girls. 

examples of the media (click the links for examples of her posting about it):

ichigo mashimaro (strawberry marshmallow): an anime/manga about 10-12 year old girls, that while not problematic itself, the creator of the anime makes lolicon-esque content of the girls (outside of the anime/manga). the media is also heavily known for being liked by lolicons.

ro-kyu-bu!: an anime surrounding a basketball team comprised of mostly young girls, the content of the anime itself is rather deplorable as it sexualizes the young girls very frequently (which is basically the only plot it has). very much known for being lolibait and liked by lolicons. 

on her main blog, she had reblogged this post:

(post contains two young teenagers from yuru yuri.)

just on the surface, this image isn’t necessarily sexual and we do not claim that maid reblogged this with sexual intentions, however with her consumption of media known for lolibait, it makes it questionable. 

she also has a body pillow of satou matsuzaka, a 15 year old girl from the anime “my happy sugar life”. we wont be getting into the content of the anime here, but it should be odd enough that this 20 year old woman has a pillow of a 15 year old girl. 

the last thing we’d like to address with maid is the posts on her instagram (can be found here. major tw for guro & emetophilia [all of which is censored]). a main point here that we haven’t brought up is that she blatantly fetishizes asian women and often posts about them. you can go here to look at a few of the things she’s posted and the fetish nature of the content she puts out there involving them. 

CONCLUSION

the point of this post was to highlight a few users in the animecore community who are clearly unable to host servers or interact around minors properly. we still do not condone the harassment of these users, and we would highly recommend to simply block them in response to this post rather than seek them out and harass them. there’s no point in doing so, however we realize we cannot stop every single person who reads this post from doing something. all we can do is state that we are against doing so and have no want or need to engage with that sort of behavior. 

to the users this post highlighted, if you’ve read everything through, good on you. instead of taking this as a call out post for drama (which genuinely was not the intent of this post), maybe the few of you can recognize the faults you have here and work on them and change for the better. this isn’t some post made because those behind it had personal beef or something with the users it mentions. this post was made because some of you cannot behave and act appropriately when interacting with minors and the general public. clearly not, as a server was allowed to exist with tons of minors alongside fucking weirdos. maybe give a shit about the minors you allow to interact with you. thanks

[spacexcowgirl]

I’d Lie - G.W.

George Weasley x Reader

Summary: Y/N fell for her best friend, but she can’t let him, or anyone else, know that.

Word Count: 4.2k

Warnings: Alcohol usage/intoxication, swearing, mentions of food, LOTS of pining and unrequited love, I don’t think there’s anything else?

A/N: This is a song fic inspired by the wonderful unreleased song “I’d Lie” by Taylor Swift! mmmm this is my first fic without a *happy* ending and boy does that make me sad. But do not worry I quite literally already have a second part planned oops. Pictures are from Pinterest.

message to be added to tags :)

I don’t think that passenger seat 

Has ever looked looked this good to me

He tells me about his night

And I count the colors in his eyes

Y/N distracted herself with her fingers, tangling and untangling them and cracking her knuckles. It was all she could do to stop herself from completely ogling the boy sitting beside her on the couch. He was positioned towards her, one leg bent at the knee and resting between them on the couch. His hands moved back and forth wildly as he spoke, recounting some story that had happened during quidditch practice that night.

“Are you even listening?” George cut himself off, his tone light. When Y/N snapped her head up to look at him, she found that he was smiling, but still he looked a bit offended.

“‘course I’m listening.” Y/N reassured quickly, her eyes finally meeting his. That was all it took, and suddenly she was being reeled into those chocolate brown eyes, drowning in their various shades and hues, with no way out.

Y/N wasn’t sure when her feelings for her best friend shifted from friendly to something more. It was as if one day his messy hair transformed from something to giggle and roll her eyes at to something to swoon over. When his pranks made her admire his genius rather than scold the disturbance they caused. When his incessant teasing shifted from mild annoyance to exuberant joy from receiving any attention from him. Of course, these shifts all happened slowly, over a period of time, but the realization of them hit Y/N all at once. She was head over heels for the boy, and she hadn’t even realized she had been falling.

If she didn’t know any better, she’d be convinced that someone was slipping her a love potion. Or, maybe, she just hoped that, because Godric would it be less embarrassing than the reality of things. Because the reality was, Y/N really had just fallen for George Weasley, no potions or gimmicks needed, and while she was irrevocably in love with him, he had no clue. 

“Seems like you zoned out for a second,” George lightly nudged her with his elbow, although a glowing smile remained illuminated on his face. “What’s on your mind?”

“Just…” Y/N racked her brain for an excuse, something believable, because she knew George could always see right through her. “Just classes, I guess. Umbridge. All of it. I guess I’m just stressed out.”

“So you’ve been letting me carry on about quidditch?” George sounded shocked, but his teasing smile was comforting. “Please, love, if you need something to take your mind off things, you should’ve just said so.”

Without Y/N even having to tell him what she needed, he was up and off the couch, rushing towards the boys’ dormitory steps. Y/N only had a moment to furrow her brows, before George was rushing back down them with a jumper in one hand and a bag of sugar quills, her favorite, in the other. Y/N exhaled a deep sigh, before the involuntary glow and warmth overtook her. Because no matter how much she longed to only view George as a friend, everything about him permeated her subconscious, lamenting and solidifying his place as more.

He’ll never fall in love he swears

As he runs his fingers through his hair

I’m laughing ‘cause I hope he’s wrong

Y/N and George walked side by side down the corridor, laughter bubbling from both of their chests. Y/N adored moments like these, when she could forget everything for just a moment and just bask in the presence of her favorite person. Ultimately, they always were ruined by her feelings hitting her like a truck, or by someone coming to steal him away, so she always tried to live in those few peaceful moments for as long as she could.

George nudged her with his elbow after making a joke, and just as she was about to respond she noticed the change in his demeanor. He was no longer laughing, but instead a small smirk had appeared on his face as he nodded a few feet ahead of them. Y/N followed his gaze, her eyes landing upon his twin brother leaned casually against the wall. In front of him was Angelina, his girlfriend, rocking on her heels as she giggled at something he said.

“Sickening, aren’t they?” George prodded, shaking his head a bit as Fred swooped down to steal a kiss on her lips.

“I think they’re cute.” Y/N tugged her books into her chest, tilting her head to the side as she watched the love-stricken couple. Angelina could have a tough exterior, and Fred could be a lot to handle, but they just got each other so well. Y/N would never say it aloud, but she envied them.

“You would think so,” George scoffed lightly. “You don’t have to listen to him ramble on about her every bloody second of the day.”

“Maybe you’re just jealous.” Y/N teased, turning her body away from the couple to face George instead.

“Hardly.” George rolled his eyes, shifting his books into one arm. He slowly raked his fingers through his newly cut hair as he spoke again, entrancing Y/N entirely. “Love’s just not in the cards for me right now. Someone’s gotta worry about products, and about making Umbridge’s day as awful as possible.”

Y/N laughed at his joke, although she felt a little sting in her heart. Sure, he had said ‘right now,’ and perhaps that should have incited some hope in her, but it didn’t. It just made her chest ache. She knew it was foolish, but she couldn’t just drop it. She had to push on, test her luck and hope that George would offer her any sort of solace.

“Come on, I think it would be nice.” Her voice was quiet, and she found she suddenly couldn’t meet his eyes. “Someone you could share everything with? Yanno, they could just be like… your person.”

George seemed to mull over her words for a moment, before swinging his arm around her shoulder and continuing to push down the corridor.

“Well, I already have you for that, right?” George beamed down at her. “Why would I need a girlfriend? You’re already my person.”

Y/N was certain her heartbreak could be heard throughout the school.

He looks around the room

Innocently overlooks the truth

Shouldn’t a light go on?

Doesn’t he know that I’ve had him memorized for so long?

The party was in full swing, blinding lights and near deafening music. It was risky, what with Umbridge slinking around every corner, desperate to give students a detention, but they needed this. Something about this year felt different, and not in a good way, and Fred and George knew one of their infamous parties was just small way to lift spirits.

Y/N scanned the crowd of people, nursing sips of her firewhisky every few moments. Parties weren’t necessarily her thing, but she couldn’t deny that she needed to unwind. As her eyes finally fell upon their desired target, she couldn’t help the warmth that bubbled in her chest or the smile that involuntarily rose on her lips. Once George met her gaze, he shot her a wink and beckoned her over, and she was quick to oblige.

“Having fun, darling?” George rested his weight against her, clearly much more drunk than she was.

“A bit,” Y/N giggled. “Not as much as you, I reckon.”

“What’s that s’pose to mean?” George slurred, giving her a drunken pout. 

“Nothing, nothing,” Y/N teased innocently, shifting her weight to better support the boy. She wrapped an arm around his back, using it to steady both him and her. “Maybe you should lay off the drinking for now though, what d’ya think?”

“Fineeeee.” George elongated the last vowel before grinning down at the girl. “Always taking care of me, aren’t you?”

Y/N hummed in response, a small smile of her own growing as she felt her cheeks begin to heat up. “What would you do without me?”

“Hm. Probably die. Fred’s doing, no doubt.” He leaned down to rest his head against the top of hers, shutting his eyes for a moment as he centered himself. “Honestly though, I’m really thankful for you. I don’t think I say that enough.”

Drunk George was always a bit sappy, but Y/N certainly wouldn’t complain. His words felt like a shock flowing through her nervous system, hitting every neuron and sparking her to life. Alternatively, she also felt completely useless in producing a response.

“Godric, I really do have the best friend in the world.” He hummed.

And just like that, the shock was sucked from her body and she was left feeling nothing but empty.

He sees everything black and white

Never let nobody see him cry

I don’t let nobody see me wishing he was mine

Y/N had searched for George for hours. After Gryffindors win over Slytherin, what should have been a wonderful celebration quickly went south. Y/N had watched from the stands as three team members held Fred back and Harry loosely clung to George, as both boys attempted to charge Draco. Of course, she couldn’t hear whatever he said that got the two so worked up, but from the look on George’s face she was certain it must have been bad. Everything seemed to move in slow motion once she saw Harry let go of George, and she watched with bated breath and wide eyes as  he lunged at the Slytherin boy.

Of course, she had heard about the twins’ and Harry’s lifetime ban from Quidditch, and she knew George must be feeling awful now. So, she had to find him. Even if he didn’t want to see her, or anyone, she had to be there for him.

She had checked just about every spot in the castle she could think of, sighing profusely each time that she came up empty. Fred and George knew the hidden corridors and passageways of the school better than anyone, and she was certain he had used that to his advantage. 

Just as she was about to give up, she decided to check one last spot that she knew of. She crept slowly up to the seventh floor, careful to make sure no one was following her. She paced back and forth three times, just as she had been taught, and breathed a sigh of relief when the door appeared. Quietly, she pushed it open, and her breath hitched in her throat when she caught sight of the familiar head of red hair. She had found him.

It didn’t appear he had heard her come in, and she used that to her advantage as she slowly surveyed the room. She felt her heart shatter into a million pieces as she took in the familiar sight of the burrow living room and heard George’s quiet sobs from his place before the fire. After the day he had, all he wanted was the warmth of his home.

“Georgie?” Y/N whispered quietly, letting the door shut behind her. 

Immediately, George straightened up and wiped at his eyes. She had never seen him cry before, and she knew there was a reason for that. Fred and him both felt they had to be strong all the time, they had to be the ones cracking jokes and making people laugh even when it was hard for them. When he glanced back, his face was red and splotchy, but a forced smile was plastered on his face.

“Hey, darling.” His voice sounded scratchy, and it was clear it was taking all of his power to keep it together. Y/N could see that his lip was busted, illuminated by the fire, and she wanted nothing more than to cup his face in her hands and nurse him back to perfect health. “Reckon you saw the fight earlier?”

“Your lip…” Y/N spoke softly, approaching him with tentative steps. She didn’t have the capacity to answer his question, not when he looked so broken and beaten down.

“Oh, it’s nothing.” George swiped his thumb over his lip, and Y/N didn’t miss his slight wince. “You should see the other guy.”

“You don’t have to do that.” She finally reached him, taking her place beside him on the carpeted floor. “You don’t have to joke and pretend everything’s fine, not with me.”

George studied her for a moment before a shuddering breath left his lips. As the tears began to pool once more, he could no longer meet her eyes. And that killed her.

“I don’t know why I’m letting this get to me so much.” He spoke, sounding entirely disappointed in himself. “But, the things he said, about my mum, my family. And then Umbridge…” His words cut off as the tears began to roll down his cheeks once more.

“I’m so sorry, George.” Y/N reached out and gently cupped his cheek, allowing her thumb to brush a few tears away. When he leaned into her touch, her heart soared. “You don’t have to shut yourself off, though. I’m here for you, always.”

“I know.” His voice was soft as he squeezed his eyes shut, willing the tears away.

Slowly, Y/N leaned forward and brought her forehead to his, letting her eyes shut as well. Her hand drifted from his cheek to the back of his neck, gently playing with the hairs at the base of it. The action seemed to calm him a bit, so she continued to do it. By the light and warmth of the fire, the two sat in silence. Neither needed to say anything, they just wanted to be near each other. 

“I love you, you know that?” George was the first to break the silence, not bothering to open his eyes or pull away from her touch.

“I know.” Y/N spoke quietly. “And I love you too.”

And Godric, did she mean it. But she was aware that they meant it in entirely different ways, and that George had no idea.

He stands there, then walks away

My God, if I could only say,

“I’m holding every breath for you.”

Months had passed since that night in the room of requirement, and while so much had changed, so much had stayed the same as well. Y/N had felt herself drifting from George everyday, and not because either of them wanted to. George and Fred were leaving, Y/N knew that, and they had to get everything in order to do so. So, Y/N had to push through everyday with him no longer constantly by her side, and she swore it was killing her.

A few nights prior, he had let her know that this was it, that him and Fred were really doing it. She had faked a smile, excitedly throwing her arms around his neck as she expressed how proud she was. And she was proud, but her chest ached and she swore she felt her stomach in her throat. It was selfish, sure, but she wasn’t sure how she was supposed to get through the year without him.

Now she stood in the corridor outside of the great hall, bouncing nervously on her heels as she watched him say his goodbyes to Lee. She had promised herself she wouldn’t cry, but there was already a stinging behind her eyes and she feared no matter how hard she tried to keep her emotions at bay, it would be futile. 

When George finally turned and took a few long strides to where she stood, her fears were confirmed. Her tears spilled involuntarily as she threw herself into his arms, burying her face in his chest.

“Hey, none of that,” George pleaded softly, gently scraping his fingers up and down her back. “You know I’ll write the second that I’m out of here, and it’s only a short bit before you graduate and I see you again.”

“I know, it’s just…” Y/N sniffled, forcing herself to imprint the moment in her brain. She wanted to remember his scent, and the way it felt to be wrapped up in his arms, and the sound of his voice. Perhaps it was cheesy, or overdramatic, but Y/N could feel her heartbreaking by the second, and holding onto ever piece of him that she could was the only thing keeping her together. “I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too, darling.” George chuckled softly. He pulled back slowly, planting his hands on her shoulders as he looked down at her. “You’ll be out of here before you know it, I promise.”

“You’re right, I know.” Y/N sniffled, wiping at her tears before finally meeting the boy’s gaze. The look he was giving her made her knees weak, and she found herself wanting to spill all of the contents in her heart to him.

He studied her face for a moment longer, but then Fred was calling his name and they both knew it was time. He gave her shoulders a soft squeeze and pulled her into a hug one last time, placing a kiss to the top of her head. Nothing further needed to be said, so he gently ruffled up her hair and gave her a reassuring smile, before turning back towards Fred and beginning to walk away.

The moment was ending, he was really leaving, and she hadn’t told him how she felt. Her heartbeat started to pick up, and her palms began to feel sweaty, because it felt as though it were now or never. She wanted to tell him. She had to tell him.

“George!” She called out, causing him to halt and whirl back around.

“Yeah?” He smiled warmly at her, a few paces ahead.

As she gazed into his blissfully unaware chocolate brown eyes, she found that she just couldn’t. She couldn’t drop this on him, not on one of the most important days of his life. So, she bit down on her lip before shaking her head and forcing a smile.

“Give us a show, yeah?”

“Always do.” George winked.

And just like that, he walked away. And Y/N was left feeling entirely empty.

First thought when I wake up

Is “My God, he’s beautiful.”

So I put on my make-up

And pray for a miracle

Months had passed since the fateful day that the Weasley twins left Hogwarts behind. Just as Y/N had predicted, her time left at the school dragged on horribly. Umbridge only seemed to get worse, even in the twins’ absence, and George was no longer there to comfort her. Still, she pushed through.

After graduation, Y/N was quick to get a job at a coffee shop in Diagon Alley, figuring she’d save up her money while she determined what she wanted to do. It wasn’t the worst job, but with the Wizarding World getting darker by the day, she felt constantly in fear. Still, George was close by, and she once again had him for comfort. 

Most nights she’d crash on the twins’ couch, finding it easier to get up in the early mornings and go in to work than staying with her parents in the suburbs. Which usually meant waking up to George preparing breakfast, sleep thick in his voice and his hair still messy. And Godric, was he beautiful like that.

“Sleep well, darling?” George rasped out, a sleepy smile on his face. Y/N wrapped her arms around herself as a small yawn left her lips.

“Mhm.” Y/N hummed, leaning in the doorway of their kitchen. “You?”

“Pretty good.” George grinned, sliding a mug of tea down the counter towards her. Like always, he had made it perfectly to her liking. Y/N cupped the mug in her hands, letting the warmth slowly spread throughout her body and wake her up. “Think I might stop by the cafe on my break, pick up some pastries and coffee.” Just as he finished his sentence, Fred tiredly stumbled into the kitchen.

“You can just say you want to come see me, Georgie.” Y/N teased.

“It’s not just you he wants to see.” Fred winked at the girl, causing her brows to furrow.

“Oi, shut it, Fred.” George glared at his brother.

“What do you mean?”

“He hasn’t told you about his little crush?” Fred smirked, ignoring the daggers being shot his way. “Elizabeth, that girl that works with you. Georgie fancies her.”

Suddenly, even the mug in Y/N’s hand felt ice cold in her grasp. Quickly, she placed it back down on the counter, fearing she would drop it and let it shatter to the ground. A bit of hot tea sloshed out of the mug, scalding her hand and forcing her mind away from her breaking heart.

“Shit, are you okay?” George had already hurried towards her, but Y/N was quick to brush him off.

“‘m fine, I, uh, should just go get ready.”

Y/N didn’t give the boy’s time to question her change in demeanor, but rather quickly gathered her overnight bag and hurried to the bathroom, locking herself inside. She cast a silencing charm before slowly sliding down the wall, allowing herself to sob freely.

Just as she always knew, she’d never be what George wanted.

I could tell you his favorite color’s green

He loves to argue, oh, and it kills me

His sister’s beautiful, he has his father’s eyes,

And if you asked me if I love him

I’d lie

Y/N felt in a daze that entire day at work. She made drinks, rang customers up, and wiped down counters, but she was unable to think about anything other than the revelations of that morning. Of course, Elizabeth was the only other person working with her, and while she normally adored shifts with the girl, she couldn’t find it in herself to even crack a smile at her. It wasn’t Elizabeth’s fault, of course, and she would never purposefully take it out on her, but Y/N just didn’t have the energy to try that day.

When lunch time rolled around and Y/N knew George would be arriving soon, she busied herself with meaningless tasks, intent on avoiding him and saving her heart any extra heartbreak, at least for the time being. She offered him a small smile when he entered, then ultimately let Elizabeth take his order.

As they chatted, Y/N noted the way he lit up with every giggle he pulled from her lips, and she swore she could hear her heart shattering. When he finally left, coffee and pastries in hand, he called out a quick goodbye to Y/N, but she only offered a small nod in return.

“Godric, he’s charming.” Elizabeth sighed, coming to lean beside Y/N. “You two are friends, yeah?”

“Mhm.” Y/N didn’t look up from the sugar packets she was organizing, watching as her hands shook slightly.

“Well, tell me about him!” Elizabeth urged, nudging Y/N with her elbow. “Is he seeing anyone?”

“No,” Y/N sighed, finally forcing herself to look up after finishing her task. “What do you want to know?”

As much as it killed her, she knew what she had to do. George deserved to be happy, and she was his best friend, so she had to help him get there. George would never want her the way she wanted him, and maybe seeing him with someone else would help her get over that fact.

“Anything. Everything.” Elizabeth beamed, her perfect smile on full display.

“Well…” Y/N sighed, gathering her thoughts. “He has a twin, Fred, and they run the joke shop that just opened down the way. He’s a middle child, sort of, I mean Fred is technically the middle child but that’s just because he was born a few minutes earlier. They’ve got three older brothers, then a younger brother and sister. His favorite colors green, but if you ask him he’ll say it’s orange because of his hair. Um, he was shit at potions, but I think that was just because he hated the professor, because really he’s a genius. Oh, and he’s the funniest guy I’ve ever met, which I tell him all the time but cannot say in front of Fred. I don’t know, I guess he’s just about the best person I know, honestly.” Y/N sighed, finishing her rambling with a forced smile.

“Merlin,” Elizabeth stared at Y/N, wide-eyed. “Sounds like you’re in love with him.”

“No, really I’m not. We’ve just been best friends forever.” Y/N laughed, the lie tumbling easily from her lips. 

Because that’s what she had to do, that’s what she’d always done. To keep George in her life, to make things easier, she kept her feelings close to her heart. And no matter how much it killed her, she would continue doing it. If that’s what it took to see George happy, that’s what she’d do. 

She’d lie.

TAGS: @theweasleysredhair​ @letsgotothehop​ @wand3ringr0s3​ @sarcasticallywitty15​ @mischiefisbeingmanaged​ @gcdricreads​ @destourtereaux​ @thisismysketchbook​ @george-fabian-weasley​ @evermoreweasley​ @amourtentiaa​ @lunalovecroft​ @sunshineandshadowss​

[mr-humphries]

Okay now talk about sieglinde assaulting ciel and sebastian coercing beast and the nun into sex!

Righto!

(Honestly, I haven't re read the manga, I had to redownload a manga reader app for this)

I'd also like to say I am in no way defending the characters 👁👁

Ok so, I'll start with the Emerald witch scene.

During this scene, Sebastian and ciel are in a castle chamber, Sebastian preparing Ciel for bed as usual because the kid is utterly fucking useless at any normal standard of living, and they catch Sieglinde eavesdropping on them.

In this scene in particular, I do think that the WHOLE thing is a misunderstanding.

I'd like to put this into perspective, being locked away, qnd only seeing the same people for a whole 11-13 years of your life, never seeing an outsider until a moment where people enter, a guy around your age and his butler. Sieglinde hasn't necessarily been taught to keep hands to herself or really anything about sex in general.

And with that I'd like to point out, she gets her information from books, and since wolfram is the only man protecting her who she sees more as a guard dog than a man its easy to become misunderstood.

When she touches Ciel, he, rightfully so, reacts in a negative way that sieglinde doesn't understand, and she reacts negatively to that.

But now that she understands that it was bad and she shouldn't do it, she never does it again.

I hate to bring in a different mangas and stuff, but a prime example of this is the umbrella scene in "Classmates" where Kusakabe holds Sajou up against a fence to kiss him, and it being in public, which is where Sajou pushes him away, telling him no again.

And as a consequence of this, sajou breaks up with him.

But guess what happened after?

Kusakabe learns Sajou doesn't like PDA when there's people around, and only gets a little more comfortable towards the end of "Classmates" and during "Graduates".

All these characters are around the same age bracket (teenagers), and they have no experience with relationships, let alone sexual ones.

Do I think what sieglinde did was wrong? Yes. Do I think she should be COMPLETELY demonized for it? No. She's a child, man. A child who doesn't even know what life outside her village is like and grew up mostly around women.

That's not a sex offender, that's a lesbian /j

Jokes aside, sieglinde has done the bad thing, suffered the consequences, and not done it again. It's how children learn. If she was a repeat offender and constantly groped someone, then yes, what the fuck is she doing, but it was one moment. And just one.

NOW ONTO WHORE-BASTIAN /HJ

I'll start off with the manga while I have it open.

And as sebastians an adult, not a lot to explain.

In BoC, Sebastian is 100% completely coaxing the poor girl into sex. He, in his own words, says "the prey is deceived with sweet words and dragged into the darkness". And that's what demons do, deceive humans, its whole heartedly in his character to do something like this to get to get he wants. Just like how he did ciel, took advantage of him going through something traumatic to set up a contract in trade of his soul, albeit, not sexual, but its still deceit with a sugar coated glaze.

HOWEVER

The nun scene in the anime, I find is completely on the opposite side of the spectrum.

(I'm not happy about having to look up this scene)

From what I remember, the nun was already attracted to Sebastian, him being conventionally hot and such, it was much easier for sebastian to just flirt with her and show off to her.

It begins with sebastian just asking the nun about herself to get some answers, there are no traces of hesitation only flustered stuttering, which is when sebastian makes a move on her, before giving her an earthshattering bang /hj

In my opinion, the nun wasn't coerced, in fact, she was completely on board with it, girl was just really nervous and shy, but she didn't say no or nothing. However, people view that scene in different ways, whether from personal experience or just an icky feeling from the scene altogether.

And since its not necessarily Canon to the manga, and was meant to be a joke for some funny ha has by the producers, i feel this doesn't really build on sebastians character at all. However, to each their own, we love opinions here.

Thanks for the question anon, really got me into a writing mood LMAO

[teejaysnow]

Translation: Manusoverlevering, part 4

Here's part 4 of the youtube translation, from 56.41-1.14.25 (the final part - yay!!)

Any mistakes are there for your enjoyment - I'm a Swede translating Norwegian into English, which gives me two extra languages to føkk up. Ooops.

Also, there are a lot of starts, stops, pauses and unfinished sentences going on during the panel - I haven't cleaned that up, you're getting it just as it was said. So, yeah. Sorry, not sorry.

Anyway, translation (hopefully...) under the cut...

part 1, part 2, part 3

Christopher Pahle: We have about ten minutes for questions from the room, so if anyone has any questions? No one has a question? We… we have a… we’re walking around with a microphone so… no one is raising their hand. Are there no questions, should we finish early? Over there is someone, you’re getting a microphone. Yeah. I’ll remove that photo. [shuts the big screen off]

Audience member: Yeah, hello. Henrik. I understand that there’s a lot of impro and so on, but a lot of people are talking about Julie’s method, that she does something or other with the mood the actors are in beforehand to put them in the right mindset. How do you get the actual, well, acting to come out?

Julie Andem: I just yell a lot. [laughs] If they don’t… no, not really. What do I do? I don’t know, like, I think that all actors need different things, that you can’t use the same method for every actor. So it takes some time to, like, break the code for each one of them and understand what makes them better. And someone felt that I didn’t, like, necessarily completely break theirs.

Henrik Holm: That sounds terrible.

JA: Psychologically. So it’s breaking them psychologically and then… No, but, umm, but…

David Sjøholt: Who was it that didn’t…

JA: But I think that, and especially for young people, I’m not sixteen, seventeen, eighteen year old myself, so using them as advisers and make sure to always listen to them if they have input for the script or if they want to say something in a different way or don’t understand why they are saying what they’re saying, that’s a good start. 

CP: The rest of you, do you have any views on what Julie’s method is? Since she can’t explain it herself?

HH [laughs]: I think we all do.

DS: I don’t know. Sorry.

Ulrikke Falch [to David]: You can’t… sorry.

HH: Are we going to sit here and apologise to each other? [said more jokily than harshly if anyone wonders…] No, but it’s exactly like Julie says, that I always felt that she saw each and every one of us. And there wasn’t any yelling or any, like, [deepens his voice] “Listen, you don’t understand what I’m trying to get across here”. There was never that kind of frustration that I’ve experienced with other directors. It was always, “We’re a team, we’re going to try to do this in the best way possible, and for you to understand my vision, I have to understand you and you have to understand me back”. Um. And that was very educational and really inspiring, and I think it was because of that that we got so much out, or you got so much out of all the actors. Because you gave a lot of yourself. And that’s something not all directors have the opportunity to do.

JA: Yeeeeah. [applause]

CP: Other questions? There’s one. You’re getting a microphone. 

Audience member: Hi.

All the cast: Hi.

AM: Um. You were asked, during the first season, I think…

JA: Me?

AM: Yeah. It was someone of, someone of, one of the actors that asked, like, what do you want with this, or, how big do you think this is going to be, and you joked a bit and said “We’re aiming for world domination”. You were right. But when did you understand it in a way, or, when did you think, “Wow…”?

JA: I don’t know, I think, like from mid season two it felt like for each week there was a new record set or some other wild thing that happened, and it was like, “huh?”, like, the Prime Minister calls, or, do you understand what I mean, that it was so… it just escal… and it never ended. So I thought that, like, it’ll soon have to [make a downgoing gesture], now we’ll have to land soon, because… But I think particularly the week when everyone was waiting for an answer from William. Then I thought that people had really lost it. It was, like, Rema1000 came came out with “fish cakes while you wait” and NetCom came out with “If William had had a NetCom subscription then he would have answered” and it was, like, such a… at NRK there were people just sitting and, I heard that people were just sitting and refreshing. And there were sites made where it was, like, “Have William answered yet?”. Like, it was… it was… I just thought that this… Jeez… this…

AM: This works…

JA: People liked this. I thought. Yeah.

AM: I was wondering a bit too about what the rest of you thought. When did it dawn on the rest of you? Just short.

UF: I’ve still not understood it. It.. it’s not like you get there and then you’re like, “Yes, we made it.” I think, like you say, that it’s just a continuous experience of “we’ve made an impact on people” and those stories come dripping in, and everytime they do, we’re reminded that… we took over the world. [applause]

CP: We have a question here. From Kosegruppa DK.

All the cast: Yeeeeeah.

HH: Welcome.

JA: Kosegruppa!

Audience Member: Thank you. Yeah, yeah, I actually have all the Kosegruppa admins with me via our chat, so I have a lot of questions but I’ll just ask two. Um. First for David, how and when did you find out that you got the part, and when did you decide that Jonas was the one to make the speech in the last episode?

DS: Ah, that’s a pretty good story, because I was at the audition, and that whole story we talked about shortly before, with Tarjei, and I was in his class and he said the first day of school that, “yeah, I’m going to be in this series that’ll be called Skam”, and I was like, “fuck, I didn’t get it”, and then it was, like, blah blah blah, and then I pestered Julie a little. Or, a lot. 

JA: And that’s true. He added me on Facebook and just…

DS: And then… What was the question?

UF: When did you get the part?

DS: Yeah. Yes, and then I was at the audition. And then it went to three friends.

JA: Yeah. Maybe. I don’t remember.

DS: Me neither. And then suddenly the phone rang… no, and then you added me on Facebook.

JA: Oh, yeah. Hadn’t we’d been friends all that time and you had been, “yadda yadda”.

DS: No, no, no, no, no. I remember that I was in the bathtub. And then you just added me on Facebook and then I got a bit of butterflies in my belly but I was, like, no, maybe she’s just going to ask me something or other. Uh, and then Tarjei calls me, um, and he’s like [very bad imitation of Tarjei…] “Hello, David, umm, do you fancy a part in Skam, or…?” And then… and then I hung up on him, and then I accepted… Facebook, um… and then…

JA: Yeah, that’s, because he was allowed to call and tell you, that’s how it was.

DS: Yeah, but wasn’t that… you had talked about it, or?

JA: Yeah, he, because I mentioned it to him, and he said, like, [another bad imitation of Tarjei…] “I have to tell him”.

DS: Because we had talked about it a lot, me and Tarjei.

JA: Yeah. 

UF: But… about that, you were an extra all through the first and second season. And I remember you as he, that really annoying friend of Tarjei’s. [laughter] Who always, um, you didn’t even have a part, but when you entered a scene, it was like it was your season. [laughter and applauds, David facepalming] But we had a scene where Vilde was picked up because she’d thrown up, I think it was in season one…

JA: Yeah.

UF: …and Julie had to ask you to calm down, because you were, like, we have to call the police, we have to call for an ambulance, and you acted out…

DS: Yeah, that…

UF: …a whole scene about what you were going to do to save Vilde. So when you got the part, I was, like, fuck, then we’ll have to… and then I was told that you were to be my love interest. And then I was like “fuck” again. Like, I wanted William. And then I just got you.

JA: I don't remember you as annoying.

DS: But I understand what Vild, no, Vil, umm, I understand what you mean because I think I tried to make a mark, or, I don’t know. I wanted to make you…

JA: But you did, you got the part.

DS: Mmm.

CP: Now I’ve forgotten what the other question was, it was to you, Julie…

UF: Why…

JA: When…

CP: Yeah, the last, yeah.

JA: I don’t remember. Sometime during the last season… I honestly don’t remember. I thought about it. It wasn’t decided when I wrote the first… It wasn’t like I thought when I wrote that opening monologue, that I thought “Oh, when I finish the series then I’ll end with that”, because I wasn’t planning on ending the series myself. So, sometime during the fourth season.

CP: I think we have time for one more question. Anyone? Back there, in yellow.

Audience member: May I use english?

HH: Of course.

UF: English.

JA: English. Yes.

AM: Um. And you can answer in norwegian. But, is there any character that you wrote, and you imagined them in a specific way, and then an actor came in and completely changed them, or did you let all of the actors kind of form the characters?

JA: Umm. Vilde as a character is a good example of that, because the others who were in to audition for Vilde were a lot closer to how I had imagined the real Vilde. Like, they were a lot more realistic in a way. And then Ulrikke comes in with a comedic talent that is absolutely amazing. So I realise that, okay, this one is a lot cooler than Vilde, but she really understands who Vilde is, so she can play with the character in a very fun way, umm, which I think added a lot of awesomeness to the character. But she was supposed to be more realistic. And I can also say the same about the character of Noora, that she really, that when I imagined Noora when I first started writing her, I saw her, like, more virtuous. And then I felt every time that I saw that character, because in the final interview rounds I interviewed the character, and I just felt like, ugh, she’s… argh, she becomes, like, too virtuous, too boring, I don’t know if I like her. And then Josefine came in, and she’s just so incredibly charming and funny and playful, and I just thought that there’s how the character of Noora will get an extra layer. So the character has kept… she’s still a character of conscience that fights for, or… her story is about a question of ethics. But she does it in a very charming way. So. Did I answer? All the characters have kept their cores, but they have… I have just used all the resources you brought to the best of my ability. 

CP: Very good questions. I had just… prepared some if it turned out to be completely silent. One was “Have you got an american accent?''. Imagine, like, Texas…

JA: Uh… I thought… I thought…

CP: No, not that you have it now, no, no, you... you speak norwegian very well, Julie.

JA: Thanks. I got, like, I got a bit unsure there just for a second.

CP: No, if you…

JA: Yeah, no, it’s very little, really. I can say a couple of words that are, like, to charm people, like [worst texan accent ever] “yaw”. That’s… that’s it. 

CP: The last question, that I’ve thought about through a lot of the seasons, is Valtersen a name? [laughs] Is it a name?

JA: Isn’t it?

CP: Is it? Do you know anyone with that name?

JA: I don’t know, I haven’t thought about it. Isn’t it possible to be called that? 

CP [giggles]: I don’t… I’ve checked with the office for national statistics and there is no one with that name.

JA: Is that true? [applause] Yeah, but… it’s a name, it sounds like it could be a last name?

CP:  Yeah, it definitely sounds like a name.

JA: I’ve invented a new last name.

CP: Yeah. Congratulations.

JA: Someone ought to be called that.

CP [still giggling]: Yeah, yeah, there’s probably someone that’s called that now.

JA: Yeah, that’s true.

CP: But… I think that’s all we had time for, [to the cast] thank you for coming, [to the audience] thank you for coming. [applause] Have a good summer!

Then I’ll just say a final thank you. It looks like no one wants to leave the scene. [to the cast] Thank you for coming to commemorate this event. [to the audience] Thank you to all of you. And many, many thanks to the script group who has given these two scripts to the National Library, for which we are very, very grateful. And thank you for tonight. [applause]

[evening-starlight]

Warm Beers

     McKenzie Shoupe always had strong feelings towards JJ Maybank, but they were always platonic. At least she thought they were. But when she slowly runs out of warm beer excuses for the funny feeling in her stomach whenever JJ's around, Kenzie thinks they might be more.

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New Series Babys!! This one’s OBX because I just watched season 2 and am OBSESSED.

Taglist is open! Dm or Comment to be added.

All Works Master List

Warm Beers Master List

1

Word Count: 1582

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    The music and laughter greet McKenzie's ears before she can see the party. She smiles to herself, knowing her friends are waiting for her by the fire. The sand gives way under her bare feet as she treks to the boneyard, greeting other people she knows on the way.

    "Shoupe Jr, what's up?" John B. yells, jogging over to Kenzie with an unopened can of beer for her. He swings his arm over her shoulders while guiding her towards the fire, where the rest of the group sits on logs. "Where does daddy dearest think you're at tonight?" Kenzie rolls her eyes as she takes a drink of the beer, making a face afterward.

    "Why the hell is my shit warm, Routledge?" John B. laughs and points at their blonde best friend.

    "Because JJ was in charge of the ice, and what does JJ do best?" Kenzie laughs and waves to the rest of the pouges, not forgetting to flip off her favorite, JJ Maybank.

    "Forgets shit," The group, including JJ, say in unison. JJ flips everyone off but smiles brightly. This was Kenzie's favorite spot in all of Outer Banks. The Boneyard with her four best friends, drinking beers by the fire and poking fun at each other. "So, where does Shoupe think you're at tonight?" JJ asks, making room on his log for his favorite girl to sit.

    Kenzie takes the seat and leans into JJ as he wraps his arm around her shoulders, playing absentmindedly with the strap of her bikini top. "At Sarah Cameron's," Kenzie says, drinking more of the disgustingly warm beer. "I haven't had her over in over a year, and he still thinks we're best friends." She laughs, shaking her head at her oblivious dad. "Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if he lets me use her as an excuse because he knows I'm doing something with the people who give him high blood pressure." JJ scoffs and holds a hand over his heart in mock hurt.

    "Are you trying to tell me that your father doesn't approve of us?" Kenzie pushes JJ away with her elbow with a stupid grin. "I'm hurt, Ken, hurt." The group laughs with a shake of their head at JJ's theatrics. He fakes a pout while Kenzie steals his favorite red hat but really doesn't mind. She's the only person who's allowed to steal and wear his clothes.

    JJ wouldn't say he necessarily has a soft spot for McKenzie Shoupe, but if she asked him to jump, he'd ask how high. It's a mystery how the deputy's daughter and the town's bad boy became such good friends. All they know is that they can't go a day without each other.

    Kenzie lays her head on JJ's shoulder as she continues to joke and talk with her friends. An annoying feeling in his stomach makes him groan, gently pushing the girl off his shoulder. "Hey, you okay, J?" She asks, hand already feeling his forehead. The feeling gets worse, and he feels his face heating up.

    "I think the warm beer did something. My stomach isn't feeling too well right now," He mumbles. "I'm heading back to the chateau." He gets off the log and smiles at his friends. "I'll see you all up there later." JJ moves to leave, and Kenzie gets off her seat too.

    "I'm coming with you. I got to pee anyways," She says, shrugging. JJ lays his arms across her shoulder with a quick goodbye to the group, and they begin the short walk to the house. "You sure you're okay, J? You don't usually leave a party that soon after it starts," Kenzie worries. JJ would stay until the sun came up and after many boot and rallies. He was the party-going king.

     "Yeah, something just felt really off. But at least I learned the warm beer lesson," He jokes. McKenzie sighs with a nod. "You didn't have to come with me, you know? I'm a big boy who can take care of myself." She laughs and pushing him slightly away, only for him to push her back harder, nearly tripping her. The small amount of booze coursing through their system makes the situation funnier.

    "I know you can, but I honestly had to pee like a racehorse," She laughs, relief filling her as she sees the chateau coming into view. Kenzie should have honestly peed before she left, but she was too excited to think about it. The thought of seeing JJ again fueled her forgetfulness.

    "Well, Ken, I'm sorry to say, but you'll have to wait in line. I have to pee," JJ says before taking off in a sprint towards the house.

    "You mother fucker," She yells back, laughing as she chases after him. They wrestle and yell at each other as they trip up the steps until Kenzie gets the lead and slams the door in JJ's face. It won't be a long hold, but long enough to get to the toilet first.

    Kenzie barely reaches the restroom before JJ caught up to her, narrowly missing her waist as she dashes into the bathroom, already pulling down her pants. "Suck my dick, JJ," She laughs, sighing in relief as she finally gets to empty her bladder.

    "Only if you ask nicely, Ken," JJ prompts, grabbing a step stool from under the counter and standing on it like he's about to empty himself in the sink.

    "Oh my God, are you going to piss in the sink?" Kenzie asks in disgust. JJ smiles at her and starts unzipping his jeans. "Holy fuck, you're so unsanitary, Maybank."

    "Well, then look away," He exclaims, still undoing his pants to pee. "Unless you want to see my dick," He adds. McKenzie gags, shielding her eyes with her hand. "Oh, come on, you can't say you're not the least bit curious," JJ prompts as Kenzie hears the liquid splashing in the sink.

    "If you've seen one dick, you've seen them all, JJ." Kenzie jokes before wiping herself and pulling up her pants, looking the opposite of JJ.

    "I would like to disagree on that one, Ken," JJ rebuttals, situating himself back in his pants. The odd feeling is gone, so JJ chalks it up to having a full bladder. "See, dicks are just like pussys," He starts but stops when he sees Kenzie following him out without washing her hands. "Aren't you going to wash your hands?"

    Mckenzie raises an eyebrow as she says, "In the sink, you just pissed in? Not until it's bleached and gutted." JJ laughs and lets her lead them to the kitchen. "You were saying? About dicks and vaginas?"

    "Right," JJ starts again while he hops on the kitchen counter, watching Kenzie wash her hands in the sink there. "They're all different in their own beautiful ways." Kenzie chuckles at her friend's drunken analogy.

    "Is that your way of comforting yourself because you have a small peen?" Kenzie asks, turning around towards the boy, who immediately starts to protest. "No, no, it's okay. Like you said, everyone is beautiful in their own way," Kenzie jokes.

    "You want to see it and judge for yourself?" JJ asks, jumping off the counter, hands already on his button. Kenzie laughs, shaking her head before looking at the opening door. Kiara stops in her tracks, causing the other two boys to bump into her.

    "What's going on in here?" She asks, eyeing the situation. Kenzie is red and smiling while JJ's hands are on the hem of his pants.

    "JJ's trying to show me his micro-peen," Kenzie quips. JJ growls and lunges at her, causing her to squeal out a laugh and dodge his attack. She runs through the living room, laughing maniacally at JJ's continuous curses and insults while the rest of the group gazes on.

    JJ finally catches Kenzie, pinning her to the ground with her hands above her head. They're both panting and smiling at each other. "If someone didn't have a small penis, they wouldn't be so worked up over me calling them tiny dicked," Kenzie says, shrugging as best as she can in her compromising position.

    "Would you two just kiss already and stop this stupid thing you got going on? I'm tired of watching the constant pining," John B. sighs, plopping onto the couch. Kenzie suddenly feels claustrophobic with JJ on top of her, her heart beating faster and throat closing up.

    "Off," She mumbles, moving her wrists out of JJ's grasp as he slowly dismounts her. They stay silent as John B. puts turns on the TV, ignoring the awkward tension he caused between the two friends. JJ tries to hand Kenzie his hat back, knowing it's her favorite keepsake of his. She shakes her head timidly, squeezing between John B. and Pope, with her legs to her chest.

    "Why'd you guys leave?" JJ asks, setting the hat on the coffee table and planting himself next to Kie on the second sofa, avoiding Kenzie's watchful eye.

    Kie shrugs, bumping shoulders with JJ purposefully. "It's not a party without our party king there. Besides, too many Kooks showed up and ruined the vibe."

    McKenzie tries to ignore the angry feeling in her stomach, watching the two friends talk. She doesn't even know why she feels that way, but it only grows as JJ leans on Kiara. So much so that Kenzie has to avert her gaze to the animated show on the television, legs still clutched to her chest.

[faeriejukyung]

True Beauty’s Gaping Mother Wound

*disclaimer*: I understand that all the listed traits are things which are often very common in Asian households, and it may seem that rather than being concerning, these are just a part of Asian culture. That is why, I feel that it’s necessary for me to make it clear that I am, in fact, Asian (Indian to be specific), and parental abuse is something that is extremely normalized here. As someone who has experienced it firsthand, I want to say that just because something is common/normal, doesn’t necessarily mean that it is correct. If you or anyone you know is in a situation like that, it’s very very important to speak out. And it’s not your fault, i know it’s easier to believe that way but it’s really not. We deserve to be in a loving environment, regardless of what culture we are born in.

Throughout the drama, Jukyung’s mother shows many traits of an abusive mother. I have been able to outline 4 of them. I don’t mean to write her off as an evil character,, because overall she is well intentioned, and just like any other mom, she does love Jukyung. This is shown in episode 8 too, where she shows remorse for her actions. That however, doesn’t justify her abusive behavioral patterns in any way. Because we can see how badly it affects Jukyung, her self esteem and her overall view of herself.

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Act 1: “I’m going to kill you today and go to jail” -- Physical Violence.

Throughout the series, we see Jukyung's mother being very violent. But one scene which particularly stood out to me was the scene where she finds out about Jukyung's dad getting scammed. (in episode 1). While it is true that her dad caused a huge financial loss to the family, and anyone would feel angry in a situation like that, it is also true that there is never a good reason to physically abuse someone.

After hearing the news, Jukyung's mom is overcome by anger. It's completely okay to feel frustrated, but the way she violently jumped at her husband, clearly intentioned to hurt him, and the way she needed to be held back by juyoung and heekyung highlights her abusive nature. And this isn't a one time thing where she momentarily lost control of herself. She constantly shows similar behavioural traits throughout the drama.

In the scene where we see Jukyung's mom and dad together properly for the first time, their relationship dynamic is established. He's meekly massaging her shoulders while she orders him around. Their is an obvious power imbalance in the relationship, and the way Jukyung's dad cowers in fear around Jukyung's mom is a proof of that.

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Act 2: "Why would you kill my precious son?" -- Conditional Love.

We see examples of Jukyung’s Mom’s conditional love in the kdrama AND in the webtoon. Conditional love is when a parent or a parental figure makes their child compete for love. They withhold their affection until the kid acts in ways that are desirable to them, and if the kid fails to do so, the parent often punishers them through different methods. This is their way of maintaining control over their children.

Jukyung’s Mom’s conditional love manifests itself in the form of favoritism towards her eldest daughter Heekyung, who’s not only conventionally beautiful but also very smart and has a high paying job, and towards her youngest child and only son, Juyoung, who is also written to be very attractive. Both Juyoung and Heekyung have gifts that Jukyung does not posses -- beauty and brains. The conditions that are established in order to attain their mother’s affection are getting good grades at school, and being conventionally attractive, which is why Jukyung often gets the shorter end of the stick

In the scene where we are first meet Heekyung is the drama, their mom’s affection towards her is very evident.

This is shown in the webtoon too.

She displays this favoritism towards Juyoung too, and even more so. In episode 1 where Jukyung tries makeup for the first time, and gets ridiculed by him for doing a bad job at it, she naturally feels angry and yells at him, “do you want to die?!”, but instead of telling Juyoung to stop, their mother yells at Jukyung for yelling at Juyoung (”why would you kill my precious son? why?”). It’s already very evident that Juyoung has picked up the habit of constantly taunting Jukyung for her face from his mom. In the webtoon, when Jukyung decides that she wants to pursue makeup arts and asks for her mom’s support and fees for academy, her mom flat-out refuses, saying that they don’t have enough money. However as we find out later, money wasn’t the problem, because she had enough money to send Juyoung to a cram school for acting.

I find it hard to believe that any good parent would constantly compare their children and pit them against each other like this. In the webtoon and the kdrama, it is made clear that Juyoung doesn’t have particularly good grades either, but he doesn’t have to face his mother’s wrath by the virtue of being good looking. Jukyung on the other hand, does not have any redeeming qualities.

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Act 3: “I’m going to throw all your makeup away” --Excessive Anger.

Another sign of parental abuse is display of excessive anger. It’s usually used as an intimidation tactic to keep the child in line. Sometimes, it can simply happen because they lose control of themselves. Either way, parents who get angry more often than what is supposed to be normal, and hurt their children (physically or verbally) in the midst of their anger, repeatedly, are abusive. I feel like I don’t even need to elaborate on this one. Jukyung’s Mom is angry during half of her scenes. And the way she acts upon that anger crosses the limit too. Don’t get me wrong, it’s important to express your the way you feel, but the way Jukyung’s Mom does it, is extremely unhealthy and hurtful to others around her. Whether she’s jumping on Jukyung’s dad or talking down on Im Jukyung, she’s very inconsiderate of how her anger affects others. She almost always expresses herself in an extremely volatile way.

Jukyung described makeup as a hopeful light opening up a new life for her. There’s even a whole music segment of her discovering the powers of makeup, characterized by pastel and bubblegum tones, and the segment has a magical feel to it. Suffice to say that makeup brought an almost magical kind of hope and optimism to her life. In episode 6, Jukyung's Mom goes to her school to get her report card. When she sees her low grades, she gets so angry that she threatens to throw away her makeup, without once considering why Jukyung is so attached to it. In my eyes, she's actually very similar to Soojin's dad who also uses intimidation and physical violence to keep his daughter in line. If we put the same background music for the scenes where we see Jukyung's Mom threatening her, as the ones where Soojin's dad abuses her, they'd practically be identical. The only difference is that the show often plays Jukyung's Mom's behavior as a joke.

In episode 7, after seeing that Jukyung didn't improve as much as she wanted her to, she actually threw away all her makeup. Even though Jukyung did try, and did improve, it still wasn't enough for her mom. Jukyung's restlessness after not seeing her makeup on her table was palpable through the screen. Finding out that her mother threw all her makeup away sort became her breaking point. We see her yell at her mother and express her feelings for the first time.

I think it's important to note that Jukyung, who's already finds it very tough to reach out to her courageous side, was inspired by this incident to stand up to her mom, to express her outrage. Saying that makeup meant a lot to her is an understatement.

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Act 4: "What's the point of looking beautiful with all that makeup on if you're ugly underneath?" -- Verbal Abuse.

We all get into arguments with our parents from time to time, and I’m sure we’ve all been yelled at by them at some point. Verbal abuse however, is not something that is normal, and the two shouldn’t be confused. A parent who constantly humiliates their child, yells and screams at them, talks down on them is in simple terms, an abuser. 

In episode 1, when Jukyung tries makeup on for the first time and goes to school, she gets ridiculed by her bullies and her classmates. Crestfallen, she returns back home after school and goes to her mother for reassurance. Instead of providing that, her mother ridicules her even more and calls her makeup “Ghost Makeup”. This is something abusers often do. Under the guise of teasing the victim, they often attack the victim’s self esteem, appearance etc, to make them feel insecure and to maintain their position of power over them. Jukyung’s mother isn’t very different from those bullies who told Jukyung that she was ugly and made her feel like she could never amount to anything. 

Another example that irks me a lot is from episode 3, when Jukyung’s Mom is chewing her out for being late, and suddenly the conversation turns to cosmetics and makeup. This is also one of the traits of verbal abuse. Instead of arguments surrounding the basic issue, they branch out and turn into character assassination. Her mom accuses Jukyung of wasting all her time on makeup instead of studying, even when Jukyung clarifies that she got late because she missed her bus, not because she was out buying cosmetics. But her mom doesn't listen and says to her, “What’s the point of looking beautiful with all that makeup on when you’re still ugly underneath?” 

Jukyung’s face after hearing her own mother say that was heartbreaking. Unfortunately, this type of mother-daughter relationship dynamic isn’t something  that is rare. Mothers frequently project their own insecurities on their daughters and put them down. Jukyung’s Mother’s behavior explains her self esteem issues, it gives an insight about where her insecurities really stem from. Sometimes our abuser’s thoughts and image of us start maligning our own self image. Frequently hearing them tell us that we are worthless, and that no one will ever marry us or love us, makes us believe that we are in fact, worthless and incapable of being loved unless we change something about ourselves. We frequently get an insight into how Jukyung thinks of herself throughout the drama. 

“It’s not my fault that I was born dumb” (In episode 7, after finding out that her mother threw away her makeup.)

“You know that I’m messed up” (In episode 2, referring to her face, while asking Lee Suho to keep her bare face a secret)

The drama is yet to end so I don’t want to completely write Jukyung’s Mother off as an abuser. I hope she becomes a better mom in the show, I really do. Because Jukyung deserves a loving mother. And Jukyung's mom does in fact have a few redeeming qualities, however, simply love and caring isn’t enough, you need mutual respect, reassurance and effort in each every relationship. We know that Jukyung’s mother is also often labelled as an ugly woman, and she believes that she could only get by through studying well. (“It’s going to be okay as long as you study well” - episode 1). In a world where a woman either has to a exceptionally beautiful to be considered worthy, or be exceptionally intelligent and professional lest she isn’t blessed by beauty, it’s very easy to internalize self hatred and direct it on to other individuals (especially if those individuals are your children). That is why i genuinely find myself rooting for Jukyung’s mother and hoping for a character development arc -- because i understand where she comes from, and because i can empathize with her. 

-

Fin.

[masterthespianduchovny]

The Poor Development of the Marauder's Era

I've recently been listening to Binge Mode and, even now, I honestly believe the Marauder's era is some of Rowling’s worst writing of the series. When I say Marauder's Era, I'm simply referring to characters and events pre Harry.

The Marauder's era isn't poorly developed because I didn't like what happened. It's poorly developed because of how Rowling handled the characters, the events she put them in, and the reaction to said events.

As a kid, I respected Lily and thought she could do no wrong. As an adult, I find her decisions questionable. For transparency purposes, I read these books in real time and was a similar age as the characters. So, I don't want to hear anything about me being "unfair." Of all of the Mauraders era kids back then, I was the most generous to Lily. It's only when I reflected more about her role in the series that I realized how lackluster she is as a character and as a friend.

Rowling relies on Lily being seen as the moral compass to signify who and what is right or wrong during this era. The problem with this is that Rowling undermines Lily in the process. Minus being flat out called Mudblood by Snape, she has no proof that Snape has done anything her friends accused him of doing, but she unequivocally views it as the truth. Despite Lily listening to Snape, it's not really in good faith because she already has her mind made up about Snape's guilt.

Now, this is important to note because since Lily hasn't seen any of Snape's alleged bad behavior for herself, why would she definitively accuse him of these things? Lily claims she was in denial about this when she ended their friendship, but it's quite obvious she does believe Snape is guilty.

What makes Lily's beliefs and choosing to side with others over Snape is that none of the Marauders have ever mentioned ONE instant of Snape doing or saying some fucked up shit. As a reminder: THEY HATED HIM. They never mentioned anything about him bullying others, calling muggles mud blood, or any other troubling behavior. It was merely because he existed. They couldn't even tie him to being a Death Eater.

Also, let's consider the fact that kids like Snape have rumors made up about them all of the time. ALL OF THE TIME. Not even Snape's own bullies could attest to Snape doing the things Lily's friends claimed Snape did, yet Lily believed their words?

And, maybe I'm being nitpicky, but the fact that Lily says "my friends" in reference to defending Snape has always rubbed me the wrong way. Snape IS her friend too. Her best friend, in fact. Why wouldn't she have said, "my OTHER friends." My Gryffindor mates or whatever? IMO, that implies that Snape is just some weirdo she talks to and not the person she's known the longest.

HOW ROWLING COULD'VE FIXED THIS:

Have Lily overhear Snape calling one of his peers Mudblood. Have the Marauders be incensed that Snape called someone a mud blood. Have them call out Lily when she tries to intervene on them confronting (confronting NOT bullying) Snape. Hell, even have Snape fucking bully someone.

Because as far as canon goes, Snape was a bystander as death eater wannabes bullied people and presumably did nothing about it. We don't see any of his alleged wrongdoings and the people who hate him can't even recall that this happened.

There shouldn't be an ambiguity or readers relying on the word and opinion of Lily to guide their opinion.

Some may say, "she's only a kid." To this I say, "You're right." Lily was a teen and teens don't always know how to handle complex situations, I will give her the benefit of the doubt. However, this means we shouldn't hold her as the moral standard.

Lily essentially says that the difference between the Marauder's bullying people and the death eater wannabes doing it is dark magic. I'm sorry, but that's weak sauce. Dark magic is such a vague and broad thing depending on what you're talking about, so nah...Also, is there something not dark about James choking Snape with soap? I mean, that could've traumatized Snape to the extent of him being triggered by soap. Isn't that dark?

HOW ROWLING COULD'VE FIXED THAT.

Jut have Lily acknowledge that behaviors by the Marauders and death eater wannabes are both bad, but for different reasons. Problem solved. She can even emphasize that she takes so much issue with Dark Magic due to why it's being used and what it ties into.

We hear how great Lily is and that everyone loves her, yet Harry meets literally NOT ONE FRIEND of Lily's. He meets James' friends and a former teacher of hers. We don't see Lily hanging out with anyone else. We hear examples of Lily feeling sad for people, but no references to her actually helping people or supporting others somehow.

HOW ROWLING COULD'VE FIXED THAT.

Maybe instead of Lily talking about the bad thing Avery and Mulciber did, she could've intervened, even if it was too late, and "saved" Mary. Hell, we could've had Lily hex James rather than just threatening it. I'm sorry, after literally reading the many ways the Golden Trio are there for each other even before big shit started to happen, Lily threatening to hex someone who is actively bullying her friend doesn't cut it.

And give her her own friends for Harry to meet.

Lily is said to be smart and empathic, but how she deals with Snape and his issues don't exactly support this.

HOW ROWLING COULD'VE FIXED IT.

Have Lily genuinely listen to Snape's grievances about the night he was saved. Don't have her be so dismissive about the Lupin thing. Maybe have Snape set up by the Marauders and the big reveal is a flop.

I know Rowling wanted to tackle people having shady pasts and how they can change, but 1. Either she needed to commit to it being a rivalry or 2. She needed to appropriately deal with the bullshit the Marauder's did. Snape is justifiably angry and distrusting of the Marauders due to one almost killing him as a joke and the other publicly humiliating him. This doesn't even account for YEARS of bullying, which remus admitted happened.

We cannot say that bullying is wrong, and then excuse the bullies because they were on the right side of a war.

HOW ROWLING COULD'VE FIXED THIS.

She should've had Remus flat out acknowledge they were wrong for what they did and that there was no excusing it. Then, have Sirius and Remus privately talk about this where Sirius admits it too. OR, despite loving them and his dad, Harry realizes how flawed they were and that their reasoning is simply to protect their dad not necessarily because James grew up. OR Rowling could've not written James and Sirius behaving as psychopaths AS WELL AS show instances of Snape starting shit with them.

SHOW US Snape deliberately starting shit with the Marauders and James trying to apologize. Show us James' growth outside of that. Don't tell us that James is secretly hexing Snape behind Lily's back because it has her looking like a dumb ass.

Also, all of this James stuff is important because Lily ending up with James is such a bad fucking look. IMO, it makes her disgust at his behavior seem performative. It says that she didn't really care about him bullying others, but rather, the perception of her being with someone who bullied others. And, no, having Lily smile as Snape was actively being bullied, and then poverty shaming him isn't a good look.

"BUT, BUT SNAPE CALLED HER A RACIST SLUR!!!"

It doesn't matter how much you want to give your friend the benefit of the doubt, if you believe he's calling others racist slurs, you need to confront it. And, if you believe it to be true, you need to end it. You don't wait until he calls you the slur to say, "hey, maybe he really is this racist person people claim he is."

HOW ROWLING COULD'VE FIXED THIS.

After James saved Snape's life, this is where he could've matured and his big head lessened. He still hexes others, but leaves Snape alone because he realized that they went to far with him even before Sirius' "prank." Instead of James being the antagonizer, it should've been Sirius. Once again, James breaks this up and he and Sirius gets into a small argument. Snape is let down as Lily runs up and Snape says his mud blood remark.

Snape then tries to hex Sirius and James steps in once Snape refuses to stop. It gets out of hand and Snape accidentally harms Lily.

I won't lie, I'm a HUGE Snape fan. However, because of how Rowling handled this era, there are many ambiguous things, situations that don't make any sense, not enough development of characters, etc which undermines the story she tried to tell.

Yes, I do love the series, except I don't like any of the Marauders or Lily. I don't hate Lily, but she grates. Remus really was a coward and irresponsible as hell. Sirius was childish as fuck and, no, him being in prison doesn't excuse or justify all of his behavior. James saved his peer's life, and then publicly humiliated and sexually assaulted him. He didn't stop bullying, he just stopped how he did it.

This doesn't mean I believe that Snape was faultless, but I believe this era was so poorly told that by default, I believe and sympathize with Snape.

Although I believe Rowling wanted readers to do this, I don't think she planned for some readers such as myself to hold the positions we do. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy Snape as is, but I do believe Rowling didn't intend for me to hold the views I do about Lily and the Marauders.

I don't understand her laziness during this era, especially since it's so key in Snape, Lily, and James' stories.

Lastly, she could've developed James and Lily better.

I know she only has so much time, space, pages blah blah blah. However, the best writers find a way to make it work with what they have.

[azucanela]

the things that haunts us

pairing: todoroki shouto x fem!reader.

summary: in which todoroki shouto encounters a familiar face. or canela finally decides to put her fave through some pain.

word count: 1.2k

genre: angst. (mentions of violence). a lil bit of fluff here and there. 

note: the number of unnecessary metaphors and stuff in this. read into everything please. aksjhdkjasdh.

navigation

HE RECOGNIZES THOSE EYES. He could recognize them anywhere, yet what normally brought peace and tranquility, now only brought fear and pain. Not that Shouto could ever fear those eyes himself, no, he was afraid of what would happen to her.

Because staring down the enemy alongside the rest of his classmates, Todoroki Shouto quickly realizes that he has no idea what to do when the enemy is his solace. The one person he views as an escape from everything else, Y/N L/N.

She wasn’t a UA student, no, when they had met she was simply working at the library closest to UA High School. He’d go there frequently— as Shouto wasn’t all that excited to study at home. Finding himself a small corner, isolated from everyone else. 

Yet, somehow, she still found him.

She was returning some books to their original sections, adding in new books, getting rid of older, worn books. Or so he had thought, until he watched her put them into her bag. 

Shouto doesn’t know what compelled him to, but for some reason he found himself looking up from his textbook, brows furrowed as he asked, “what are you doing?”

She looked up as well, and Y/N felt her face warm as she did, “it’s not what it looks like!” She’d exclaimed, “I’m not stealing— I mean.” To this, Shouto only seemed to become more perplexed, and Y/N couldn’t necessarily blame him with how suspicious her response likely seemed as she went to clarify, “we get rid of these books but there are other people to appreciate them. Me, or the people I donate them to.”

He raised a brow, looking between her and the worn book, “but it’s broken.”

She had shrugged, small smile dancing on her face as she looked down to the book in her hand before she placed it into her bag as she replied, “doesn’t mean there isn’t someone out there who will love it all the same.” 

It was on that day, that his perspective on things, changed. For some reason, Shouto found himself drawn to this girl from the library, the one that thought broken things were still lovely. Perhaps he was curious about her mindset, or maybe it was just her, but Shouto found himself visiting more. 

Y/N seemed to take notice of this, a smile on her face when she noticed him in the library once more, in the long forgotten corner where she’d come to put the new books of the genre in the area. And she waves to him, simply saying, “hello there.”

Shouto looked up, tilting his head as he greeted her, “hello.” He’d paused before adding, “criminal.”

She’s silent for a moment, only for a quiet laughter to consume her shortly after, hand on her face in an attempt to muffle the noise given where they were, “so you’ve got jokes?” Y/N had asked, amused. “I’m Y/N.”

Perhaps it wasn’t proper but Shouto didn’t necessarily enjoy the man he’d gotten his last name from, so he finds himself offering his hero name to her— not that it was any different from his first name— as he said, “Shouto.”

It’s the start of a questionable friendship. But a friendship nonetheless. Some days they spoke, and Shouto found Y/N’s thoughts to be... interesting. Her way of perceiving things was one he’d come to appreciate. Other times, they’d simply do their work in silence, until she inevitably left. 

But she’d return, she always returned to their small corner in the library.

Shouto found himself staying later at the library, and Y/N found herself wandering towards the corner where Shouto had resided more frequently as she finished her daily tasks. It was like a break from the stressful reality that was Hero Training. 

As far as he knew, she was quirkless. But looking into her eyes now, he realized this was the wrong assumption to make. Shouto could see the way her own eyes widened as they made eye contact, though they hardened soon after as she reached a hand for the ground, the plant life around her wilting at the touch as she rose her other hand and a blast shot towards the others.

Oh.

Those who accompanied Shouto were caught off guard for an entirely different reason as she suddenly launched herself towards them, hand extending to one of the Class 1B students and almost instantly knocking them unconscious.

Or at least, Shouto hoped it was unconscious. 

Everything is happening too fast, and Shouto can’t bring himself to move until he sees someone coming up behind her, ready to attack. 

Suddenly, a block of ice stands between them and their target. And Shouto is no longer frozen in place, instead having moved without a single thought moving through his mind, frost coating his harm as he exhaled deeply— breath visible in front of him.

He can’t help the horror that consumes him as he looks to his hand. 

The ice wall that Shouto had made extended long enough that they wouldn’t come over anytime soon, everyone else on this side had been incapacitated by Y/N, and when Shouto turns around she stands there, eyes wide as she sees the wall he’d constructed.

And just like he’d moved without thinking, he’s speaking without a single thought in his head, “you need to go.” Shouto says, coming to Y/N, bringing his hands to her forearms.

Y/N’s mouth seems to gape open at his words, “what— why?” She seems about as confused by his actions as he is, because Shouto is rattling his brain for a reason for what he’s doing, she’s the enemy he should be taking her down, and yet here he was aiding in her escape. 

Though Shouto recognizes that he should probably be worried about that possibility that she was using him for information on UA, on his father, for anything really, he can’t bring himself to care. Betrayal is seeping into his heart and yet the only thing he can think about is the fact that he doesn’t want to lose anyone else. 

His grip on her forearms tightens as he simply says, “leave, now.”

Shouto releases her, and he suddenly realizes his hands are shaking as he does, Y/N seems to take notice of this as she takes a few steps back. “It was real, Shouto. It was all real I promise.” Her voice almost a whisper as she looks behind her, “you can come with me—”

Shouto finds it ironic when she begins to speak, because it’s so like her to know what he’s thinking. He’d normally found comfort in the fact that even if he didn’t say a thing, she understood. 

She always understood.

“Go.” He looks away as the anger— maybe with himself, maybe with her, he can’t tell because if Shouto is honest he doesn’t know if he could ever really be angry with her— and the hurt begins to set in. 

Y/N is silenced by his response, nodding slowly as she says, “meet me at our spot, okay?” She swallows, “I’ll come back.” It’s a promise, to him and herself. She hadn’t intended for this to happen, she hadn’t known he would be here. 

Y/N doesn’t wait for his reply as she finally turns around and darts off into the forest. Leaving Shouto in the forest alone. 

He really was alone. 

[theyreonlynoodlesmike]

Oh, Loverboy: Part 7 (everyone x everyone, Star x Fem!Reader Centric)

<- Previous Chapter Next Chapter ->

Warnings: roasting Michael, slight angst, anxiety, vampire lore, canon divergence begins here folks, Michael canonically acts like a total dick in this scene so-

Word Count: 1.8k

"And don't tell me it doesn't make her a bad person, Mike!" The little boy yelled as he cowered under his covers. You stood there, staring at the brunette. The tension was thick, and all the adoration and kindness he'd held for you had left. You could see the apprehension in his eyes, and the anger mingling within it. 

"Why did you let David take me there tonight, y/n?" He said, and you clicked your jaw. You could've guessed he would've been upset, but you didn't expect him to shift some of the blame onto you. It wasn’t like you had wanted to show him. And what other choice did you have? Cause a scene by arguing with David? Let him go without you?

"Who's David?" The little boy interrupted, and you shot him a look. One that made him clam his lips together and hide his face from you. Your eyes turned back to Michael, and you moved your fingers. You were trying to think of a way to explain, a way to ease the tension. The only thing you could think to say was,

"You wanted to go with them, Michael. What- What was I supposed to say?" But you were interrupted again, and you smelled her before you even heard her voice. You turned your head, just a fraction of a second before her voice rang out,

"Michael! Y/N!" And you swore under your breath. Part of you wondered if she even knew what had happened, but that didn't stop you from turning and hanging your head out the window. She stared up at you, worry clear in her eyes. "I have to talk to you and Michael! Can I come up?" She asked and you sighed. This is why you wanted them to turn. If she was fully one of you, she wouldn't be so out of the loop. But you pushed that argument off for another day and waved her up. 

It only took her a second, and, by the time you'd turned around, she was by your side. You reached for her hand, holding it tight. It felt good to have her next to you, to have her hand in yours. Especially when Michael was going to be this way. Even if she might agree with him more than you liked. 

"You know where they took me tonight. Don't you, Star?" Michael said, and you felt Star give your hand a squeeze before she was stepping closer. You didn't like that he was targeting her and you moved with her, just a step behind.

"Yes. It's my fault. If you hadn't met me, if I hadn't liked you." And you made a small noise and reached for her waist. It wasn't her fault, but you knew Star had a tendency to blame herself. To let others walk all over her. It wasn't like Michael hadn't followed you around the entire boardwalk. She turned to give you a look, and you didn't say a word. You turned your eyes back to Michael, and she continued, "We tried to warn you." She said, and that part was true. You'd tried to get David to let him leave, to let him go home. Star had even told him that it was blood.

"It was that night at the cave, wasn't it? That wasn't wine they gave me to drink. It was blood." And you gave him a look. It seemed he'd finally pieced it together. Took long enough, you thought. "It was David's blood." You were half tempted to correct him, to speak of your sire, but an earlier command made you bite your tongue. And the kid shrieked,

"You drank somebody's blood? Are you crazy?" And you nearly wanted to give the kid something to scream about. Still, Michael had seen that you'd wanted to speak, and he stared at you. You were too busy looking at the girl besides you, who's eyes had cast down to the floor. You saw the look in her eyes, the regret on her face. You could already imagine what she must've been telling herself. 

"Is there anything else I need to know?" He snarked, his eyes trained on you. And that was it. Any resolve you had snapped. Your eyes flicked to him and you took a step forward, passing the girl next to you.

"I know you're upset. I know you're hungry. I know you want someone to chew on." Your words were hard and heavy. Heavy enough to even silence the boy cowering in the corner, and especially the boy standing in front of you. Michael watched you come closer, seeming to lose a little bit of his hot air as you came closer. As if he was remembering what you'd done less than an hour before. You took a step with end of your words, until you were only a few inches from him. "But, it's not gonna be me, and it's not gonna be Star. Got that, loverboy? You followed us the first night, you came with us to the cave, and you drank from the bottle." You punctuated your words with a hard jab to his chest each time, your eyes flickering yellow as you stared into his baby blues. "We're not the ones that tricked you, and we're not the ones that have been hazing you. I went there tonight to watch out for you and I came here to make sure you were okay, because I care about you and so does Star." You gestured to yourself and then to the girl behind you.  "So, cut the attitude or you're on your own, loverboy. And trust me, our kind doesn't last long by themselves." The threat lingered in the air, and you watched as Michael clicked his jaw. He smiled for a moment, before looking away and lightly shaking his head. But he exchanged whatever smart remark he had for,

"So, what? I'm just like you and David now?" He asked, and you frowned. His voice had cracked, and his face had changed. A sliver of fear, of distraught, had poked through. You didn't like how he said it. How he seemed to think that this was a bad thing. You looked away for a moment, and Star spoke up behind you,

"No, you're not. You're like Laddie and me. We're not like them until-" But it seemed the kid had no problem cutting off Star. 

"Until you make your first kill!" And the three of you were silent. Michael stared at the both of you, but you could feel the weight of his eyes gravitate towards you. You'd never felt like the odd man out before. You had your place, you belonged to the coven. But, now? Surrounded by humans and halfs? You gulped and shifted your feet. You felt Stars hand slide into yours, and you tightened your fingers around her. Michaels voice shook as he asked,

"Why didn't you two kill me last night?" And you stared at him. You were almost shocked that he'd even asked, and the words were leaving your mouth before you could even think about them.

"Because you're one of us, Michael. We would never let anything happen to you." And Michael laughed, like what you said had to be a joke. But it was the truth. Even if the boys hazed him, Michael was one of you. And covens protected their own. You frowned, your eyes quick to turn into a glare. Before you could snap at him again, he said,

"One of you? Why am I even one of you? Why didn't you kill me the first night?" You paused. You had to admit, that was a good question. It was something you'd started to wonder yourself. You looked over at Star. Her mouth opened, but she hesitated. As if she didn't know what to say. And, as you watched the water pool in her eyes, you decided to break a rule. One that you were sure that would bite you later on.

"I think- I think it had to do with my dad." You started, and you watched as confusion took over Michaels features. He seemed to forget all about that awkward first meeting, and you didn't necessarily blame him. After the feeding, you were sure he wasn't thinking about much else. "He- The boys don't just turn anyone. It's a big, big, decision. Usually. But they," You trailed off. You remembered that night, how you'd gotten a bad feeling. You were starting to feel the same one now. "David talked to my dad that night. They told me to go inside. I thought it was just- y'know, coven stuff. But-" Your eyes were flicking between different spots on Michaels chest, before they flicked up to his eyes. His clear, baby blue eyes. A thought occurred to you then. A thought that made the bad feeling crawl into your throat, as if to stop whatever words were threatening to spill out. "I think my dad told David to turn you."

"Your dad?" Star asked, in just a whisper, but you didn't pay her any mind more than a simple nod. You were trying to piece this together, trying to find an explanation. 

"Max." You said emptily into the open air, and the word stung your tongue. Of course, Star knew. She had to. She knew what you were, she had to know what your dad was. Even if he'd tried to keep it from her as long as possible. And Michael knew. He'd met him. So why did it feel like you were disobeying him?

"But he passed the test!" Sam exclaimed, and you turned your eyes towards him then. He'd been so quiet that you'd forgot that he was there. Your own eyes filled with confusion. Test? He seemed to shrink away from your gaze as you finally put together what he'd been saying. How he knew the things he did. He'd known you were one of "them", known about the first kill, and now he was testing your dad? You realized then that you were staring into the face of a baby hunter, and your hand gripped Stars tighter as panic spiked up your spine. 

"What tests? What tests, Sam?" Michael asked his brother, and you watched as the little boy pushed himself up. You nearly shrunk back, stepping towards the wall. Blocking the girl next to you half-way from view. The urge to flee filled you as the little boy, now known as Sam, rattled off a series of tests,

"Garlic, water- He even had a reflection!" And you scoffed impulsively. Garlic didn't even work, regular water didn't burn, but a reflection? While that was tricky, it was an easy fix. Before you could stop yourself, you said,

"Well, someone invited him in." And you realized a moment too late that maybe you shouldn't have said that.