#naturally there are bigots on both ends but you know what?

[haunted-catboy]

Anyway. Homosexuality & heterosexuality DO, in fact, include trans people. Y'all just cannot fucking conceive of more complex relationships within either label.

[sleepingdeath-light]

realising he might be gay after falling for trans masc reader hcs ; ford

requested by ; a common simp (28/07/23)

fandom(s) ; gravity falls

fandom masterlist(s) ; here

character(s) ; ford pines

outline ; “Ford Pines realizing he may be gay after he falls in love with a transmasc reader?

-A Common Simp”

warning(s) ; self discovery related angst, mostly fluff!

something important to recognise about ford is that he grew up in a very different time — he was never bigoted, nothing of the sort, but he didn’t really know all that much about non cishet people, identities and communities (he was much too focused on his research to even consider dating anyone himself, let alone who anyone else dates) — so him meeting you may very well have been his first experience getting to know someone who wasn’t, well, cis or het

all of those factors (never dating/exploring his sexuality, never being exposed to non cishet people, etc) meant that when he started to fall for you, ford started to have a mild panic — he’d never felt this way about anyone else before and didn’t even realise it was ‘love’ and ‘attraction’ until stan started bullying him for his crush, and the first person he’s ever fallen for is another man which would be especially confusing for him as he’d just assumed he was straight his whole life

(which, naturally, was quite a long time to be blatantly incorrect about something — which further adds to the mess he’s gotten himself into)

so then ford does what ford does best in a time of personal crisis and locks himself away from everyone in his lab, using his research to distract him from his confusing feelings and shooing everyone away using a half dozen excuses about ‘dangerous materials’ and ‘hazardous experiments’ — which stan knows is complete bs so he tells you the truth the moment you ask (after all, you and ford had become quite good friends at this point and it was only natural you’d worry about him in a situation like this)

and that leads to the brothers getting into an argument because ford was very much so not ready for you to know about his feelings, he’s just been outed by his brother to his crush, and he’s still trying to process everything whilst a new stressor has been thrown into the mix — and you’re trying to calm him down whilst stan is rolling his eyes and telling ford to ‘thank me later’ before walking away to continue watching whatever was on the television

which leaves the two of you alone just outside of his lab — no stan to fight, no great grand niece or nephew to use as an excuse, just you and him and the silence between you as he refuses to look you in the eye and tries to find any excuse to leave (mind drawing a blank every time — for once the brilliant scientist/stubborn old man is out of his element and he just doesn’t know what to do)

what happens next depends on if you return his feelings or not.

if you don’t then he’ll accept your answer and back off (honestly he never had any intention of confessing in the first place) — withdrawing for a while to sort out his feelings so that you can go back to being close friends again

if you do then you get a grumpy, awkward, old scientist of a boyfriend who is both incredibly protective over you and so unsure of himself that even the slightest bit of physical affection or verbal reassurance can leave him looking visibly more relaxed and calm — even if he struggles to call you his ‘boyfriend’ and instead refers to you as his ‘life partner’ (he just feels it’s a bit silly for someone his age to be using that term)

you’ll catch him staring at you sometimes because he’ll end up stuck in his own head about how much he’s attracted to you and how much he loves you — don’t bring it up because he’ll withdraw again to get over himself

[sinvilles]

an interesting thing about Nature, not just in that it subverts the whole formula of the show by putting an abrupt stop to Clay’s punishment and lectures- and look. Throughout the show we know Clay’s lessons are misguided. If he ever says anything helpful or correct it’s by accident. We UNDERSTAND that both Bloberta and Clay are parents who have no idea what they’re talking about, and that most of what they say is ignorant, harmful or bigoted. They say some bullshit and Orel believes them because he doesn’t know any better.

then at the end of Nature part 2, Bloberta seems to be the one giving the lesson at the end. And she says some homophobic nonsense about how men and women have to marry each other because otherwise the world will be full of fairysexuals.

But then she goes on to say that drunkenness is a reflection of people’s true nature- and a lot of the audience believed her, and fixated on that, and made that the takeaway of the show.

never mind that the idea of identity and true nature is so widely, philosophically contested- never mind that the legal definition of intoxication is being under influence and not of sound mind- literally talk to any former alcoholic and they can tell you what a damaging way of thinking that is if you’re trying to recover.

But this is the first instance where Bloberta, one of the two parents regularly saying bullshit on the show, makes a claim, and both the audience and Orel believe her, just because it sounds right at the moment. I don’t know, I just think it’s interesting. It’s part of what makes the end of season 2 so chilling.

[mostofthingsmostofthetime]

My thoughts on The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes movie

I don’t know if I liked it as much as the original films (maybe Mockingjay 1 & 2 as they are pretty emotionally draining), but I still enjoyed it.

I think where it fell a little flat for me is 1. The beginning was a bit slow (tbh I only really started getting interested when Lucy Gray stuck that snake down that girl’s dress & even then I enjoyed the story more when the setting changed from the Capitol to the district) 2. I knew Snow would survive 3. I’d already been spoiled online for a lot of stuff that happens & 4. while I know the director did his best to make Snow as “likeable” as he could for as long as possible, even before he started getting “a little too comfortable” with killing & snitching I didn’t find him as sympathetic as Katniss or Peeta (but that is probably again down to the fact that I know what he goes onto do & there’s no real way around that), this made engaging with him difficult for me.

The world is fascinating. Getting to see all the new locations we never had access to before as well as old locations now in a totally different light (for example district 12 which, while still clearly suffering, seemed like such a bustling industrial town compared to how it is in Katniss’s time). It might have a much more retro aesthetic but there's also just a more vibrant, natural, wild & lawless atmosphere to this movie compared to the others in the franchise. The whole scope of the film just felt more cinematic then I remember the others being yet also weirdly intimate. Maybe because it was one contained story & we knew the main character’s fate from the start. I also loved the title cards signifying the start of each section of the story like from the books & wished they'd done something similar for the other films. It just added a certain flair to the whole thing. Almost gave it the vibe of a tragic play.

The costuming was great. The bright red of the academy uniforms.  Flickerman’s snazzy suits. Snow’s dapper black & white outfit. Both peace keeper uniforms (despite one of them giving very ‘1930’s Germany’ vibes) looked great. Grandma might have been a bigot, but at least she was well dressed. Everything Dr Gaul wore (except the top that looked like a used tampon, lol) was exquisite. The main ladies of fashion, Tigris & Lucy Gray slayed. Our Future Capitol stylist looked like some regal yet exotic bird & Miss Survivor was giving Bohemian, country girl realness the entire time she was on screen. Even the extras were serving (like that random couple Snow walked past on his way to the reaping ceremony).

The music was amazing. Every song that played was fantastic (shout out to Olivia for her end credit contribution). The lyrics & instrumentation were beautiful & my god does Rachel Zegler have pipes! Anyone who says the singing scenes are cringy is just stupid like I’m sorry you can’t appreciate art. Also, the words ‘ballad’ & ‘songbirds’ are literally in the title. Plus, Lucy Gray is from the poorest district, so what exactly do those people want her to do in her free time? She can’t exactly hop on an X-box for a few hours. Not too mention that (as the offspring of someone who’s musically inclined) I can tell you, it’s completely realistic for a musician to use their craft to help them deal with trauma & Lucy Gray clearly had more than her fair share of that.

The Grandma'am helped to paint a sadly very realistic background for Snow. As who among us hasn’t met at least one delusional old person who thinks that their/their group’s suffering (regardless of the severity of it or the reason behind their former/newer status in society) means that no one else are deserving of even the tiniest shred of humanity & there are some people who are unlucky enough to not only be related to these people but be raised by them.

Hunter schafer as Tigris is clearly the superior Snow when it comes to things like empathy & overall mental stability but I do kind of wish they’d been more for her to do. Credit where credit is due though her & Tom did actually look like they could be related & I did buy their familial bond (which makes her appearance in Mockingjay so much sadder in hindsight).

Peter Dinklage as Casca Highbottom was a bit of a mix for me just due to his purpose as a character & the limit of film as a form of media. Like sure the audience know that Snow’s going to become an irredeemable monster in the end but without a window into his mind it really does just seem like the Dean is just out to get him & even when we find out why it seems kind of unfair. Like sure his dad sucked but haven’t the Games shown that blaming children for violence caused by others is unjust (& like ok he hates Coriolanus & probably the grandma but Tigris hadn’t done anything to deserve living in poverty, as she can’t control who she’s related to)? Plus, it felt like he could have at least tried taking Snow under his wing at some point to try to hinder Dr Gual’s influence. Saying all of that, though, Peter Dinklage is great at playing an addict with depression & the idea that some drunken rambling could lead to such long-lasting suffering is terrifying. Also its pretty realistic that living with that kind of guilt & in such a cruel environment for that long would make most people jaded & bitter, even if they did have good intentions.

Omg we finally get a Mayor family on screen & they’re assholes! Madge would be so disappointed 😭. It was interesting to see how harsh & overall “boot licky” the mayor & his family seemed compared to decades later, which makes sense as the war wasn’t that long ago for them so the dad probably felt more incentive to align himself with the Capitol as well as not feeling very connected to the district people as 12’s decline probably didn’t fully set in until they really started running low on coal & Snow became president (oh I just know he wanted to blow that district off the map 😆). I also wouldn’t put it past Billy to come up with some sob story of how he really does love Mayfair but wicked Lucy Gray is somehow preventing them from being together. Still no excuse to try to send her to her death twice in one week, though. Definitely not a girl’s girl.

Ok, so a liar. Cheat. Drunk & someone who hits women. Is there anything good about Billy Taupe? Also, trying to get your ex back, while your current girlfriend is literally standing right next to you? Dude, have some god damn back bone! You made a choice, now stick to it. Also, fumbling Lucy Gray, for a girl like that? What’s it like having no brains or taste? Well, too bad, coz you’re stuck with her forever now, lol.

Viola Davies, the actress that you are. What else is there to say? Dr Gaul is almost comic book levels of insane. Like she is how the Right see women in STEM, on crack! I don’t know what she did to get into character, but whatever it was, it worked.

Jason Schwartzman as Lucretius Flickerman is a very interesting addition to the story despite playing such a small & seemingly insignificant role. He is strange in how unthreatening he is while also extremely blasé about the abhorrent violence he witnesses that it’s as funny as it is disturbing. Making him come across as  more human yet harsher than his son, who at least pretends to care about the tributes (in a very Capitol way, obviously but still). There’s also a polish & confidence to Tucci’s performance that I think Schwartzman did a great job of avoiding copying (despite knowing what audiences were probably expecting) because not only are their characters in entirely different stages of their careers but the whole ethos of the Hunger Games is different in Snow’s youth than it is in Katniss’s. Caesar is a well established presenter & during his time, the games have always been a success (minus the year with the tundra) that the entire Capitol is invested in & seemingly in support of. On the other hand Lucretius had the unique task of not only coming into a job like this with zero experience (I mean imagine going from announcing the weather to presenting the fucking hunger games) but also there were no vibes to try to emulate let alone guidelines to follow because he truly was the first person to do this. On top of that, the "event" his presenting has been panned for years as both boring & unethical. Schwartzman brought a slightly awkward, experimental, yet try hard vibe (like a comedian who's desperate to get a laugh) that I think worked wonderfully for the character.

Tom Blyth's performance was great & he was visually perfect for a young Snow (the power of a good wig! Who knew lol). Even having the cool, analytical stare of Donald Sutherland, down pat. While his appearance was very Eminem during his peacekeeping days, his realisation in the cabin and subsequent breakdown in the woods were crazy. There was so much tension between him & Rachel in that scene that for a second, it literally felt like all the air had been sucked out of the room. I could almost hear the record scratch for both of them, & all that building paranoia finally coming to a sudden crescendo in the way that it did? Pure cinema!

Josh Rivera, as Sejanus, was honestly a mix for me. Obviously, I agree with his morals, but his way of going about it did seem a little dumb. However I do think it’s pretty realistic that a teenager, especially a rich one, would be rather naive. Also I’ve heard that he’s smarter in the book & I think at times my frustration with him is more just down to the fact that I’m seeing him from Snow’s point of view. Meaning scenes that would be portrayed as noble in any other film instead come across as almost painfully inconvenient because the focus is always on how they affect Snow rather than the actual victims of the situation. Lastly, sorry, Snowjanus shippers, I just don’t see it (especially on Snow’s end), but whatever floats your boat.

Rachel Zegler played Lucy Gray with the perfect mix of natural charm & emotional vulnerability with clear pride in her culture & a refusal to let the world around her change who she is. Yet there was also an air of mystery & a subtle resilience to her that makes her potentially surviving out in the woods for years without being detected actually believable (though I don’t buy the theory that she went on to become president Coin). Definitely the highlight of the movie for me.

PS. I'd love to know what you think of my review in the comments/tags & am open to criticism (as long as it's respectful) just remember that I'm only talking about the movie so please don't reference anything spersific to the book.

[fanfic-lover-girl]

I have seen others say Draco is like James and Draco is like Dudley, do you think this is right?

Also James bullying of Severus vs Sirius bullying of Severus what made them different and why was the other (Snirius) more likeable than the other?

My mutual @iamnmbr3 wrote a nice post comparing Draco, Dudley and James a few weeks ago. You can check it out!

Yeah, I think Draco has similarities with Dudley and James. But Draco is not as spoilt as Dudley and not as cruel as James.

As for Snirius vs Jeverus - it's just my taste. I find Snirius more enjoyable to read than Jeverus. I find the Sirius redemption depiction in the Snirius fics I have read more believable and satisfying than James' redemption in Jeverus. I also prefer Sirius over James as a character and it's easier for me to ship something if I like both characters. Plus, James has Lily already so I don't see much appeal in shipping him with Snape (as much as I despise Jily) compared to Sirius who is free to be shipped with anyone.

I think James' bullying was a lot more straightforward and typical jock kind of bullying you see in TV. Very physical in nature, with a bit of romantic jealousy thrown in. How many times have we seen a boy bully another guy because said guy is friends with a girl he likes or maybe the guy is the brother of a girl he likes? James bullies Snape for very shallow reasons because he can. Snape being into the dark arts is just a cover up for his cruelty.

Sirius' bullying seems a bit more malicious and personal. Sirius is quick to emotionally attack Snape, eg. insulting him on the train that he has neither brain nor brawn. Luring Snape to be attacked by Lupin. The way how Harry describes Sirius turning sharply like a predator sniffing his prey in SWM. There's just something dangerous about Sirius that is absent from James. Even as an adult, Sirius is still obsessed with Snape, it's borderline hilarious. I find their toxic dynamic as adults very entertaining. Plus, I think it's kind of sad that Sirius wants to be different from his Slytherin pureblood family but he ends up being a bigot still. I wonder if he truly cared about muggles or mugglebornes or if it was all just part of his rebellion against his parents.

Overall, in the grand scheme of things James is a boring character. At least compared to Sirius. He's cruel because he can because he's a spoilt wash belly kid. There's no interesting analysis for why he goes around attacking people. I think there's a lot more material for developing an epic romance for Snirius compared to Jeverus. And I just like their personalities together :)

[ralexsol]

watching "Listen" from 12 and then directly afterwards "The Devil's Chord" from 15 was the wrong decision on my part. it only made the devil's chord that much more painful. like listen isn't like an insanely good episode or anything but it. actually feels like a sci-fi show. and it has a very touching ending with clara and kid doctor.

a better comparison would be with "Robot of Sherwood" from 12 vs. devil's chord. they're both the 2nd episode of their respective doctors, with the plot being the companion's "i've always wanted to go to-" dream. both are EXCELLENT companion dreams: robin hood and the beatles. both have INSANE levels of potential for shenanigans between people of legendary status and doctor + companion. but um. one is done incredibly and the other is. not.

Robot of Sherwood: start in the TARDIS with doctor & companion. wanna see robin hood, oh but robin hood is not real - and wow, an idea held by a character in the intro scene will actually play a key role in both the comedy AND emotional charge for the entire episode! for the rest of the episode, you have robin hood as the 3rd protagonist in TONS of scenes, with iconic characters as his merry men and the sheriff making appearances. and look, an actual sci-fi thing going on! the guards are robots and they're stealing gold for their spaceship! cool!! and then the emotion-based ending of the doctor and robin relating over being legendary heroes who will only be remembered as such.

The Devil's Chord: start in unknown location with piano guy and his student. that's fine, it's setting up the plot, sure. get some fun piano playing and holy shit okay the villain is right here and just immediately showing their entire hand and purpose?? okay so they're killing people because they want music to themself. okay, they seem cool enough, there must be some interesting thing about them that we'll learn later. switch to TARDIS, wanna see the beatles, let's go!, montage of them watching famous musicians be shit at EMI studios. oh hey it's george martin the producer of the beatles thats fun!! annnnnnd he has more lines than ringo and george combined and this is basically the last time we will see half of the beatles! um. okay. i am dead serious half the beatles have about 2-3 lines between them and they only speak in 1 fucking scene. there's a cool scene with paul & doctor and ruby & john, i really liked how they explained the disappearance of music and the inherent terror everyone seemed to feel of the maestro (the villain) coming to get them. the scene on the rooftop is cool! im a pianist and i love orchestral music so i really liked that. but i was so terrified she was going to start singing at any moment because i cannot handle any more cringe-worthy songs in this show i just can't. this is not a musical. anyway, the whole episode falls apart when you realize oh the beatles arent actually what this episode is about and oh the maestro is literally just the character that you saw in the intro scene and they have no twist motive and no emotional charge and yeah they're the toymaker's kid so they're a "force of nature" and not an alien with cool science and they just want allll the music. and then there's long "fight" scenes and then john and paul save the day without saying a single word in a 15-second long total shot. and then there's a fully fever-dream level dance and song montage.

i dont know too much about peoples' opinions on 15 so far cause ive had spoiler tags blocked for months, but from what i HAVE seen, it's been really positive. am i blind? am i stupid? am i bigoted????? why dont i like the vibes of this season?? maybe im just spiraling because ive been so hyped to watch the beatles episode as a beatles fan for MONTHS and just can't cope with ringo and george being written out. ive only seen 3 episodes w 15. i so hope it gets better. please let it be better. if they do another musical number i will kill something. i will spontaneously combust.

[invested-in-your-future]

What do you think the mistakes with White Fang story were?

The biggest mistake was not having that plotline at all beyond lipservice.

I think the "no no, any sort of actual resistance instantly makes you bad guys" is such a flawed and stupid position for a show to take.

The show's failure is highlighting WF motivations and WHY would anyone feasibly go down that route - HOW do Mistral, Atlas, etc treat Faunus or even Vale.

JFK once said - "Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable."

If he existed in MilesWBY the quote would be "Only peaceful revolution is possible and anything else is evil"

We never see WHAT the Faunus have to deal with or how the society changed, (and if it did) since the Great War. We never see HOW Blake becomes the person she is (and if anything, have her regress by making her a runaway princess of tropic paradise)

The result is honestly quite racist - the show silently suggests (through the combined force of Blake's awful monologue and how Ilia's storyline ends) that the problem with The Faunus is their own "destructive" tendencies and their "unwillingness" to compromise or "wait for things to get better by being model minorities" - if only they waited a bit longer all the bigots would recognize how wrong they were!

With what the show presents, it's literally impossible to delve into the intricacies of the nature of extremism or why Adam's approach is flawed - because the show posits that the only right way forward is via complete no-exceptions peaceful resistance of… being nice and docile even when threatened with death?

We are straight up EXPECTED to see Ilia beating up bigots who laughed at people dying in the mines as BAD - the narrative EXPECTS the viewer to be horrified at her revelation rather than feel catharsis for her doing the right thing. The writing wants us to "feel like Blake" by being horrified at how violent and unhinged her friend is while completely ignoring the context - because any resistance beyond non-violent slogans is instantly a slippery slope into blowing up schools.

And where does that argument end up? In Twitter posts about how all those people shot by the cops "deserved" it by "doing something to aggravate them" - that's where.

Adam IS abusive, and Adam IS in the wrong and it's pretty clear that he has long since been addicted to power, BUT there's no possibility to even begin discussing what's right or wrong with the way the show handles the WF plotline as a whole.

We don't know what position Blake can take nor what position she had on the matter before because we don't get a sense of how WF could function beyond the two completely absurd strawman extremes of whatever sunken place nonsense Ghira's WF was in and whatever slippery slope cult-like strawman his successor created (nor how that progression happened).

What is his "vision"? What does he hope to achieve? How did he, according to Blake, "change"? We know nothing about White Fang beyond "Ghira's Non-Resistance White Man's Strawman of MLK" WF being good and his successor's WF being a slippery slope argument.

No wonder the show defaults to the most rudimentary aspect of Adam's flaws in the final confrontation, refusing to give both Yang and Blake a chance to refute him thematically while also refusing to give them proper character arcs that would lead to that confrontation - because the narrative never thought things through beyond that.

The show jumps around random and nonsensical gods subplots and religious imagery being all daring about what needs to change, but the moment actual themes of discrimination and human nature are at play, the narrative instantly becomes just so in love with status quo.

The WF began as "angry redshirts to be beaten up" and when the show decided to move on to all the "exciting"(it's really not) Brother Gods nonsense, the subplot got thrown away in the most racist way possible.

[that-ari-blogger]

The Wizard Is Right? (Sentimental Man)

Here is a question: Does a lie have to be untrue for it to be a lie?

I was to say something, fully believing it to be false, and then find out later that it was actually true and I didn't realise it, am I still lying?

I would argue that the answer is yes. A lie is a willing act of deception. But it's interesting how flimsy the relationship between the concept of truth and reality is.

The Wizard Of Oz is a character who lies through his teeth at all times, with one exception that we will come to in a later post. However, a lot of what he says ends up coming true anyway.

Let me explain.

SPOILERS AHEAD: (Wicked)

Let's be clear about something. The Wizard is not a politician, he's a conman. That is the point of his character. Oz as a whole parodies the performative nature of rulership, how it is often just as much about convincing people that you are doing a good job than actually making changes for the better.

The joke therein, is that this conman got further than anyone who is trained in the field by playing the system how it actually works, rather than how it should function.

So, no, I am not going to draw any conclusions about individuals in the real world, historical or modern. Likewise, I am not going to claim that the Wizard is an allegory for anyone in particular.

Take that as you will.

As we have been making our way through Wicked, we have been introduced to characters with varying relationships with the truth. Elphaba's mother is having an affair, Galinda and Fiyero are both putting up masks to cover up their true selves, and Elphaba has bought in to the mythology of the wizard.

Then we meet a character who is pure deceit in a crystalised form, Oscar Zoroaster Phadrig Isaac Norman Henkle Emmannuel Ambroise Diggs, the Wizard of Oz.

"I am a sentimental man Who always longed to be a father"

The word sentimental is defined by the Cambridge Dictionary as: "related to feelings rather than reason", and the wizard is certainly not that, because he isn't from Oz at all. He was unwillingly plucked from his true home and placed in Oz, a place that was in the midst of a history defining drought. He remained in Oz for a while before he became the Wizard, and he had no interest in returning home at all.

He also, I will remind you, runs a country based on constant surveillance and propaganda, which is a very detached approach.

The wizard knows all of this, he is complicit in it, so he is lying here, right?

But, he is sentimental, and for that I point to the acting. In the version of Wicked that I went to see, the wizard was played by Simon Burke, who gave the character a vibe similar to Matt Smith's 11th doctor. He is enjoying being in power and taking actions that sabotage the future of Oz in order to stay in power. That doesn't seem reasonable to me.

There is also the fact that his idea of crisis aversion is "giving people a common enemy", something he achieves by actively oppressing a specific group of people. This is bigotry and shows a belief on his part that this group of people is somehow less valuable to Oz, which is irrational, and bigoted.

The frightening thing about Oz, is that I don't think he actually knows why he does what he does. I think he thinks of himself as a chess master style ruler, who makes the optimal decision for Oz at all times. I don't think it has occurred to him that the most optimal decision is to not be the one in charge.

The rest of this song is a metaphor about how the wizard sees himself as the father of his country, and by extension Elphaba. This is what those in the business like to call irony.

I that the effect that the wizard has on Elphaba is fascinating. He inspires her. Although it is important to make a distinction between his mirage and his reality. The Wizard has lied to Oz and sold them an idea of fairness and equality that he is going out of his way to enforce the opposite of.

But that myth that he has created directly inspires Elphaba, as she becomes someone determined to make that false hope into a reality.

Final Thoughts

I think its rather funny that the Wizards' lies become self fulfilling prophecies, directly causing events later on in the story. It's like fate itself has this guy's number and sent him a text during the intermission that read "I know where you live."

In related news, the wizard's actual name is Oscar Zoroaster Phadrig Isaac Norman Henkle Emmannuel Ambroise Diggs, which is absurd, even for a satire.

Next week, I will be looking at a lesser known part of this musical. it's a small song and not that important, I was considering skipping over it. I think its called Defying Gravity. So, stick around if that interests you.

Previous - Next

[gryficowa]

Fuck Donald Trump

And fuck Joe Biden

They both have blood on their hands, no more justifying "The Lesser Evil", no more lies that you have to choose between the two, Joe Biden is providing weapons to Israel to bomb the Gaza Strip, and Donald Trump wants to persecute trans people and kill the entire pro-Palestinian movement, they are both bad, there is no argument why you support one of them, because if you are for any of them, you are complicit in genocide

For Palestine, for LGBT+ people, for Muslims, for Jews, for people with disabilities, for immigrants, for non-white people, for refugees, for everyone affected by this fascism, we cannot let those who support them live in peace

Because if you refuse them, you will not get what security and peace is, you are a piece of shit that would vote for Adolf Hitler, just because you are bigots

People have tolerated you for too long, this is the end of your terror, you will rot together with the Zionists in a coffin and no one will cry for you

I don't believe in pure good and pure evil, but I know you are shitty people and only want your comfort at the expense of others, karma is a bitch, it will come back to you

Stop being silent, let's not stop talking about Palestine, about LGBT+ rights, about women's rights, about people's rights that have been destroyed by evil people, people have tolerated you for too long, fascism has become something natural because of you (Especially the Nazi rhetoric towards gays and trans people, which you use today), and this shit should never be normal

You have dehumanized trans people and Muslims, you are disgusting, you will pay for it all

You made something that was never supposed to happen happen again, but it was easy to blame the leftists, right? The insistent denial that Hitler was right-wing was the perfect strategy to bring back fascism and normalize it, that's what you wanted, by trying to shift the blame, you unknowingly proved it yourself

Dehumanization of minorities is the gift of fascists, you did it, Muslims and trans people, you dehumanized them and you still lie that Hitler was a leftist, it's disgusting

You censored history books because they were too inconvenient for you, and because of this, many children became fascists. If they knew what fascists did to trans and gay people, they would never have become this way, they would have fought for LGBT+ people so that history would not repeat itself. , it's your fault, you censored the truth because it was too inconvenient for you, fascism will lose (Because fascism is the extreme right, that's what fascism has always been)

You won't erase this history, Rowling will fall

Yes, these are books exploring the topic of homosexuality and trans people, the Nazis burned it because it was "Bad", they considered gays a perversion and trans people evil

For being gay and trans, you were sent to prison and later to concentration camps...

Today you vote for one of those who has the same views as the Nazis, and the other gives weapons to the colonizer so that he can kill the indigenous population…

No more censorship of history, children should know about it!

[tchaikovskaya]

can you explain whats going on w wnba/caitlin clark effect? I don't follow sports and I'm not American but I am nosy

lol i adore this message actually. yes im happy to explain. but im terrible at keeping it brief so get ready lmao: (tldr at the end)

caitlin clark is a women's basketball player who played in college for the university of iowa. she graduated back in may and this is her first season in the WNBA. a few months ago, during her senior season at iowa, she broke the all-time record for points scored in her college career, for both men's and women's basketball. she's very talented, she makes these crazy 3-point shots (idk how much surface knowledge you have of basketball so i dont wanna sound condescending by overexplaining stuff but yeah a regular basket is worth 2 points and if you shoot from beyond the big semi circle drawn on the court around the hoop, that's worth 3 points bc it's much farther away).

last year, in april 2023, the university of iowa made it all the way to the finals of the national championship tournament. they played against LSU, who ended up winning by a huge margin. caitlin clark was (and is) a bit of a trash talker, like taunting the players on the opposing team during a game etc. and thats fine, it's part of the sport, it comes with the territory of being a fierce competitor. but when LSU won, the star of LSU's team, Angel Reese, went up to Caitlin before the game was officially over (like the game clock was still running and the players were still on the court) and did this little hand wave gesture that caitlin had done to one of Angel's teammates. basically rubbing her face in the fact that they ended up winning and they beat caitlin and her team. VIDEO to clarify lol idk how much sense that made.

okay thats the backstory, so NOW the shitstorm starts.

there was a TON of media attention given to that one moment. it broke into mainstream news media, not just basketball fans or even sports fans in general. Angel Reese is a black woman from Baltimore, Maryland (which has a reputation for being very poor and there being a lot of gang violence and crime, etc). Caitlin Clark is a white woman from Iowa. People made that moment into a huge Thing, saying Angel is classless, she's a violent thug, she's arrogant and rude, basically everything negative you can say about a black person without outright calling them a slur but everyone knows what you really mean. By contrast, Caitlin was made into this poor fragile victim in the situation. just an innocent white Midwestern girl being picked on by this big mean scary """Thug""" (wink wink). naturally, the reactionary far right made this a huge thing of identity politics and culture war. "Caitlin is a Victim who did nothing wrong and everyone hates her because she's white in a black-dominated sport and she's more talented than them and they just can't handle it." that kind of shit.

so the next year is both caitlin's and angel's senior year. caitlin broke several scoring records during that season (good for her, she's talented) and women's college basketball was getting more attention than ever, thanks in large part to the publicity boost the whole Angel vs Caitlin encounter got. they didn't play each other, since Louisiana and Iowa are in different regions of the country they really were only going to meet in the national championship tournament. and they did, in the semifinal round. Iowa won. everyone framed it as Caitlin's Revenge, of course. Right wing bigots, who have practically made Caitlin their mascot for white supremacy in sports at this point, had a field day with that and said some of the most vile racist and sexist shit possible. Hardly surprising but still very upsetting to watch.

a couple months ago, Angel and Caitlin both joined the WNBA. the way the draft works is that, to keep the league mostly balanced and competitive (so theres not one team with every star player and every other team has nobody and sucks ass lol), the lowest ranked teams from the previous season get the first choice of new players. naturally, caitlin was the first one to be picked lol. the media attention focused on her in college has followed her to the WNBA, but she has not been nearly as successful there. she was kind of a big fish in a small pond in college, and now she's been plopped into the ocean. her fame is way out of proportion with her actual athletic performance in her first few weeks of professional play. also, professional basketball is a lot more physically aggressive and rough than college basketball, and Caitlin is getting roughed up by the other teams' players regularly. this happens to every rookie, it's not new and it's also not personal. but the brigade of weird ass right wing losers who have made her their Aryan Princess has insisted that the other players are targeting her on purpose because they want to humble her and they're jealous of her talent and fame and they're being unnecessarily violent (again with the racist dogwhistles) and they have a vendetta against caitlin.

anyway tl;dr

the "caitlin clark effect" is basically like. this huge surge in attention that womens basketball has gotten, and CC is given ALL of the credit for it, despite the sport having been steadily growing for years now. thousands of people come to games, millions tune in to the games on TV, etc. but...... it's only for games caitlin's team (the Indiana Fever) is playing. yeah the attention has brought new fans in who otherwise wouldnt notice womens basketball or care about it at all, but for the most part the new fans are not basketball fans, they are caitlin clark fans.

This post is an example of how weird it all is and how the fans act.

and now the newest controversy is that she wasn't named to the US olympic team, despite her being huge for TV ratings and public hype/attention for women's basketball. the reality is that she simply was not good enough to be a better asset to the team than any of the 12 women who were selected. and this USA team is one of the best teams ever put together. it's not a popularity contest, it's not about TV ratings or ticket sales, it's about winning. but instead, her not being picked is being called a "snub" and has added fuel to the "poor caitlin everyone is so jealous of how much of a star she is and they're retaliating against her for it!" narrative.

her popularity and fame are propelled by some very dark political currents, and it has become part of this huge american cultural split that right wing extremists are making from mainstream society. she's Special because she's talented in a sport that's been historically dominated (or, lets be real, built) by black women, and there's the angle of gender non-conformity there too (female athletes regardless of orientation are already seen as like "butch lite" and need to be super feminine to compensate) and homophobia (lots of lesbians in basketball lol) and she's seen as this figure who is [nobly] disrupting the status quo of that subculture.

[being-of-rain]

I gotta get round to writing down my feelings on Dot and Bubble, before the next episode comes out! They're conflicted feelings. My opinion has been swinging like a pendulum.

For most of the episode, my main reactions was 'are they Seriously just doing a Social Media Bad episode? Surely there has to be something more to it.' And of course, there was. But... well, the last few scenes really committing to the twist doesn't really change the fact that for a lot of the episode I was cringing at the 'these people spend too much time on their phones' vibes.

The twist that everyone was bigots... well, at first I wasn't sure it landed as well as it could've. I've seen lots of accounts of people who didn't get 'space racists' right away, and I agree that most of the final read classist more than (or just as much as) racist. But then again, in many circumstances aren't the two things tied together? And the more I sat with the episode after it ended, the more I appreciated it. There were quite a few moments and microaggressions throughout the episode that were easily dismissed as simply the mistrustful and argumentative nature of many a Dr Who guest star. And I guess the episode WAS saying 'being on your phone too much is bad', but it followed it up with 'because you'll end up in your own little bubble of social media that could easily radicalise you or feed your inherent prejudices.'

But... after I fully digested all that, I was left thinking 'is that all?' The episode's big reveal is 'this society is bigotted,' and it did have a few things to say about that. But in the end, is that it? I know AI has been done to death, but 'social media becomes sentient and hates is userbase' is an interesting (and hilarious) idea that gets brushed over as quickly as possible, and the slugs don't get much more attention, all because the episode is too focused on the human aspect. And if this episode is so interested in racism, then what does it say that there's only one character in the episode who's experiencing that racism, and when he finally understands it he doesn't care about it at all. Because the Doctor's frustration in the end is just about not being able to save the humans, not about anything they've done to him.

Then again maybe we should circle back to this being just as much about other prejudices and not racism exclusively. Sure it's important, but as we've said, the episode does have things to say about bigotry more generally. About the mindset of mindlessly following instructions, and ignoring your own hypocracy, and throwing people you idolise under the bus if you need to because the only person more important than people like you is you.

But on the other hand, I'm extremely very white. I've seen fans of colour accuse the episode of being cheap and shallow. After all, why is it a big statement for an episode to have an all-white guest cast if there's tons and tons of other Dr Who episodes that do that without thinking?

You get the idea.

In the end... well, I'll be brutally honest. On top of my mixed reaction to the episode's politics, I've just never really vibed with 'sanitised dystopian utopia' aesthetic. So my current emotional reaction to Dot and Bubble is 'meh'. Mark it down in the same category as the previous episode: I'll be interested to see what I think when I rewatch it, but it's not going to be something I'll go to rewatch very often.

What else to say about the episode? I actually noticed that a lot of the colonists were white and blonde before halfway through the ep, but then drew the conclusion that maybe they were all clones. I didn't fall in love with Ricky September like it seemed many viewers seemed to, I just got a little confused about what role in the story a random perfect guy like him was playing (I found out eventually, and boy was it more brutal than I expected). But I did enjoy seeing the Doctor and Ruby both try to flirt with him. The Doctor is now a Gay Best Friend tm. Oh it goes without saying that Gatwa's acting is phenomenal, especially in his brief time appearing in-person.

I know it isn't the show's fault that Gatwa was busy filming other things, and I usually enjoy shows finding ways to work around production limitations like that, and I even tend to like Doctor-lite episodes... but it is a real shame that in the first season of an exciting brand new Doctor, there's two episodes in a row that he's hardly in. I've seen the next episode described as the most traditional of this season, and while I'm not going back on my opinion that I love the experimenting this season, I am looking forward to More Traditional purely because it'll mean more Gatwa. And regency Gatwa at that. I hope he has a fucked-up romance with Jonathan Groff.

[mixingpumpkins]

God forbid there are colors

Literally.

I’m begging y’all celebrating Pride to be as loud and proud as you can, not just because you deserve to celebrate, but because people in churches are full of the most paranoid, self-centered idiocy about it to the point where I got woken up unnecessarily early today for an “emergency” to cater to said idiocy. And if I have to hear paranoid screaming about Pride first thing in the morning, you’re damn right I want everyone to have the biggest, loudest, most joyful Pride month yet.

Context: Among my side gigs, I’m webmaster for a few churches’ websites, because a paycheck’s a paycheck, it’s not too demanding of my time, and my work is the reason they have all their sermons and events live-streamed/archived on their sites every week in case, y’know, they’re ever saying shit that might involve someone looking into their tax-exempt status.

I usually set up all the back-end video streaming stuff on Saturday and try to use a topical picture from our photo subscription as a background for both the video thumbnail and the post thumbnail. As requested, I also try to post the service bulletins along with the videos, but one pastor has a habit of not sending me the bulletin before my midnight-the-night-before deadline, so at that point it’s agreed that I’ll just use a seasonal nature picture as the thumbnail photo and upload the bulletin whenever I get around to it on Sunday. (Most of the photos for that church, consequently, end up being nature photos.)

This morning, Housemate #2 — who is on a million committees in that church with Housemate #1 — comes screaming into my room at ass o’clock, telling me I need to fix the website now, the pastor even contacted her about it, etc. etc. (I don’t believe her because she said she couldn’t show me a text or email because she “deletes them immediately” — and also the pastor emailed me the bulletin/notes to add to the post long after the post was already up yesterday and didn’t say a word about any fixes needed.)

Y’all. She was mad because the image on this week’s post was a “rainbow.” To be clear, it was this: 

So of course, I’m like, “...??? It’s a field of flowers.” Because it’s a field of flowers that’s colorful, but pretty damn clearly not a rainbow. 100% wasn’t even on my radar as rainbow — my search term in our image subscription was “summer.” (Housemate even went to a flower festival a few weeks ago and hinted that I should use a very similar photo that she took the next time I needed a nature pic for this church’s video thumbnail.)

But she’s insisting this picture is basically a rainbow and they can’t have anything that looks like Pride and how could I do this, I clearly did this on purpose, change it now to something that can’t be misconstrued, etc.

Fine. Wake me up, invade my space, scream, be bigoted, falsely accuse me of malicious intent ... Cue malicious compliance.

She’s hovering over me as I open up the church’s image subscription and all the places I need to go change settings and whatever to update the site. I conspicuously type in “summer” so she can see that this pops up among totally inappropriate ones like beach balls and kids playing in sprinklers. I point it out to her and start scrolling through the images to find a different nature pic. She tries to point out other ones.

“Use that one.”

“I’ve already used that one.” (Just a few weeks ago, in fact. They do not want repeat images.)

“What about that one?” She points to a different field of flowers that is actually the lesbian flag. Like, actually, obviously the lesbian flag. Housemate is not up on these things because she is too pure to know such sordid details; she only knows rainbows = gay = bad. As funny as this would be, I guarantee there would actually be screaming from people if I posted a literal lesbian pride flag made of flowers instead of a random colorful field of flowers, so I decide to save myself a little trouble and point out the issue.

“Lesbian pride flag.”

“This one?”

“Too small.” (I pull it up on the canvas and resize, to demonstrate that it turns into unintelligible pixel hell.)

“Here. These are flowers. They’re pink, yellow, and blue.”

“That is literally the pan pride flag.”

“What the hell is that?”

“Pansexual. Pride. Flag.” I pull up a picture of that so she can see.

“Well, it’s Trinity Sunday, search for that instead.”

I do. There’s a few too-small pictures of doves and a bunch of triskele and triquetra knots. She points to one of those. “There. The Trinity symbol. Use that.”

“That’s a pagan symbol. I wouldn’t want that to be misconstrued.” Incidentally, I point out, as I open the middle-of-the-night email with the bulletin boasting a similar picture, someone should probably remind the pastor about that since he’s so worried about people misinterpreting images as something non-Christian.

She’s grinding her teeth at this point. “That’s different. That has words [Father, Son, Holy Spirit] around it.”

“It’s still a very recognizable appropriated pagan symbol. Or would you be fine posting a swastika just because it has different words around it?”

We go back to nature photos.

“Try this one.”

“That’s really close to the bi pride flag, you know.”

“HERE. THIS ONE.”

Very thick pale pink and white flowers ... under a blue sky. Hmm. Looks very much like the trans pride flag, if I’m honest. She’s pissed, and housemates are going to be late for church soon.

“There. Those white daisies.”

“Yeah, we can do that, but you should know this picture does look like the agender pride flag if you’re just glancing at the colors.”

“I don’t care. I don’t know what that is. Nobody normal knows what that is, they’re not going to misconstrue it.”

“Hmm, I don’t know, since apparently that was the issue with the first picture, but I’ll use this one.” I upload it and fix all the things that need to be fixed on various platforms for everything to update. She stomps out and I go back to sleep.

Five minutes later she’s back, waving her phone in my face. “YOU DIDN’T CHANGE THE PICTURE! IT’S STILL THE RAINBOW PICTURE! CHANGE IT NOW!”

This is two times I’ve been given a mini-heart attack this morning by someone barging into my space while I’m trying to sleep, and she’s lucky she hasn’t gotten maced on instinct. “You watched me change the picture. Clear your browser cache.”

“I don’t know how to do that. Change the picture!”

I grab my laptop again, go to the website, and show her the picture is changed. I rattle off an explanation of why she needs to clear her phone’s browser cache, which I have given her several times before, and remind her she’s late. She blanks out at anything tech-talk and leaves. Totally looking forward to getting more screaming about this later. 🙃

You know, that “rainbow” picture was 100% an honest mistake, but I think part of this week’s pay from that church specifically is going to go to an actual rainbow shirt from an LGBT-owned shop. ✌️

[justsomeoneunordinary]

Since I already poked into the hornet’s nest a few times, I might as well get this out once and for all and be done with it: In my opinion, character antis and character stans are both two sides of the same coin. Both go into the extreme and more importantly, both lack nuance.

(I came from the MCU Tony Stark fandom into the Founders Tobirama fandom and it’s crazy how much they parallel each other. All fandoms have some similarities, but in this case, the antis, the stans, the tropes, the mischaracterization are so much the same, it’s freaking mind-blowing.)

The thing about the founders characters is that they’re just a footnote in the whole Naruto story—we don’t know enough and that means we have to interpret a lot of things. And naturally, interpretations vary. If you look at Tobirama and decide that he’s some bigot, then you can do that. (I’m not going into the whole racist debate about him, I have already stated my thoughts on that.) To me, though, this is such an incredibly boring interpretation. The fascinating part about the founders is that none of them are morally good characters due to the times they grew up in. Some might be darker grey than others but, in the end, they all have good sides and bad sides and that’s what makes them interesting to me. That’s what makes them 3-dimensional characters, rather than flat ones.

It’s absolutely wild to me that you would want to imagine any character as bigot at all, instead of trying to put yourself into the character’s shoes and try to see where they might come from. We don’t see any of his thoughts ever, we only have his words and what we do with them is up to us. Maybe he did put the Uchiha all in the police to close them off from the rest of the village in hopes it’ll be their demise, but isn’t that a bit boring? Isn’t that also a bit of a wild theory, considering there’s no assurance the Uchiha will perish once he’s gone? If anything, he would want to get rid of them while he’s still around and holds a leadership position. He says he did it to integrate them more into the village and give them a good purpose, and isn’t that more interesting? If he really, genuinely thought that and failed so massively? Doesn’t that make him a way more interesting character, a character with his own weaknesses? Sure, you can imagine the former but I fail to see how that’s more interesting than the latter. In the end, we don’t know what’s true anyway, we don’t know what’s going on in his head, we don’t know how he went from “grown-ups are stupid and just need to make a truce” to being so ready to kill the Uchiha and not believing in peace at first, so we might as well go with the 3-dimensional interpretation, no?

Similarly, people who put him on a pedestal, who believe he has done no wrong, who see him as the good dutiful brother, while Hashirama, in contrast, is in the wrong—how do you take a character who’s so multifaced, who shows intelligence and leader capabilities, who went from not believing in peace to wanting to protect it at any cost, but who’s also way too prejudiced of the Uchiha to the point he threatens a teen before he even knows what’s up, and make him flat? Tobirama is no saint. A man who can create the Edo Tensei and use it often enough that every other Kage immediately recognize it is not a morally correct person. I will not get into the debate if the Edo Tensei is morally bad or not, since killing people is equally fucked up and the point is thus moot because no shinobi is a saint. But the way he talks about the Uchiha is fucked up. Personally, I think it’s hilarious how he calls Sasuke a little shit and how he loses his temper. From an audience view, I love it. But from a character analysis view, it’s wrong. That’s a whole grown-ass man who was Hokage and before that the Hokage’s right-hand man and he wants to attack an Uchiha teen just like that before he even has all information.

If you think he could somehow have been a better Hokage than Hashirama, then you can do that but I fail to see how. I don’t think he’s some bigoted asshole with no good qualities, but he’s not faultless either. We don’t know what is going on in his mind at any time but we see he has good qualities and bad qualities alike, and you can just latch onto one of these qualities and pretend the other don’t exist but in my opinion, that’s how you create a flat character.

(On a different note: I know so many people are mad about the “curse of hatred” thing and I get it but it’s so weird to me that they hate Tobirama for this instead of Kishimoto. This isn’t presented to us as an opinion but as a fact. Kishi came up with all kinds of new things when it comes to the Uchiha and the curse of hatred just was his newest nonsense. Hate the message; not the messenger.)

And while I’m already on the topic of wanting to interpret characters as bigots: Izuna doesn’t have a character. Izuna isn’t even a character; he’s a plot device. People can imagine him however the fuck they want and there’s zero right or wrong. However, I fail to see why people would want to imagine him as a bigot. They heard him saying not to trust the Senju when Hashirama asked for peace and decided clearly, he must be a warmonger, a spoiled little bitch, an idiot etc. Absolutely wild to me. You literally have free reign, you could try to put yourself into his shoes and try to see why he thinks so, why he’s so mistrusting, how it must look from his point of view, and instead you decide to portray him in the worst way possible. I mean, you can do that and no one can tell you you’re wrong, but wow, this could never be me. Sorry, I prefer to imagine characters in a more multi-faceted way than have such a flat view of them.

Now, Hashirama is far more established as a character than Tobirama is but he is, like the other founders, still just a side character with so many unknown variables and a whole lot of freedom for interpretation. But, I think if you somehow think of him as a master manipulator, as someone who’s a bad leader, as an idiot… you can think that. There isn’t enough canon material to disprove that completely. However, if you think that, I think you missed some crucial parts about him. You missed his strive for peace since he was a child, you missed that the Uchiha willingly deserted over to the Senju when Hashirama was clan head and that the Senju were ready to make peace with the Uchiha under his rule, you missed that Hashirama was voted Hokage by a majority. None of this would make sense if he were a dumb, bad leader, now, would it?

Usually, Hashirama depicted as an idiot also goes hand-in-hand with the Tobirama stans who see him as a bad brother. I already talked about this, so I won’t go into detail, but Hashirama rightfully calling Tobirama out when he’s being a prejudiced shit toward the Uchiha doesn’t make him a bad brother. His threatening Tobirama when Tobirama is about to kill Madara doesn’t make him a bad brother either. It is wrong. He’s overly emotional over this and he’s being unfair in that moment but that alone doesn’t make him a bad brother, it just makes him a well-written character who has his own faults. Sometimes he’s too emotional, sometimes he’s too idealistic, and if you see that and decide it means he’s a shit brother and also an idiot, then you can interpret it that way but I couldn’t disagree with you more if I tried.

To me, he’s a good man, a charismatic man who’s trustworthy, who always strives for peace and the best in general, but also a product of his times, a son of his father, a man who goes his path straight ahead and doesn’t look left and right which then leads to fucked up situations such as almost killing himself in front of Tobirama, or also killing Madara in the end instead of trying to find a different way. It makes him interesting.

At the end of the day, my opinion is always, if you have to push other characters down (Hashirama as an idiot; Izuna as a bigot; Madara as a madman), so you can pull up your fave (Tobirama as the only right one, the better leader, the better brother), then the problem is you. It just shows me that you don’t know how to prop your fave on his own and who he simply is when you can’t do it without making others look bad. Sorry not sorry.

(This really happens in so many fandoms—you have a character who’s shown as the good one but then you get to see his bad sides and people latch so much onto that that they then portray him as the devil incarnate. Vice versa, you’re given an asshole character who’s shown to have his good sides and fandom somehow manages to twist it so much that suddenly this character is the real saint. It’s maddening.)

Lastly, Madara is just like the other characters a complicated character with his good and bad sides. I think it’s crazy how some people only see a madman and a terrorist in him, and how others find he was right with everything. Again, you can interpret is such, but… no. He’s a deeply traumatized and grieving man, who believes in peace and wished it badly but saw that it would never be achieved because humans will always fight each other no matter what, and then makes a decision that is nuts. The Infinite Tsukuyomi is utter bullshit even without Zetsu and Kaguya, but he is right in pointing out that there will be no real peace. The problem is just that there’s no perfect answer for that—the answer is democracy, therapy and transparency of the higher-ups, which is a boring solution for the world Kishimoto created because in a world where cool fights go brrrr and friendship is magic a political answer like that is not going to cut it. Which is why he had to come up with a bigger threat and make Madara look insane, even though the points he made were right, only his methods wrong.

My general opinion is, when you have characters that are so little established, that leave so much room for interpretation, I don’t see why anyone would want to interpret them in such a flat manner. I like my characters 3-dimensional, I like to take the good and the bad in stride, and you can do you, that’s fair enough. But if you come to me to put Tobirama in the good light and Hashirama in the bad one, or in converse, to tell me what a bigot Tobirama is, then you’re at the wrong address here, and that’s on that.

[wtowingedtragicobsidian]

BDS Gender & Orientation HCs pt1 ADA

~if a character/commentary is not included I’m just assuming they’re cis/straight~

Atsushi:

Orientation:|Aro/Ace| (I’m claiming this one as my quota per show) Doesn’t consider romance/sex often, only ever really thinking about it when he does something that makes him go ‘oh shit that might have crossed a line that had the wrong implications or made someone uncomfortable.’

However, he wouldn't protest much if somebody (regardless of gender) wanted to having a dating relationship. It would take him a while to adjust but he’d eventually enjoy it, he just wouldn’t seek out those kinds of partnerships on his own and wouldn’t be completely shattered if they ended.

*I like to think (b/c it makes me laugh and it seems like something Dazai would do) that Atsushi’s tie clip is a bisexual flag Dazai gave him and he just wears it b/c he doesn’t know what it means. (tbh, I think Atsushi’s mostly ignorant of sexualities, not in the way of being bigoted, but in the way of never having realized that there’s different ways to categorize them. He just thought if you like somebody you asked them out, gender was never even considered.)

Dazai:

Gender: |Agender-unrealized| Goes with male but doesn’t actually strongly identify with any gender. Uses masculine pronouns but will also use neutral or impersonal pronouns when thinking (and sometimes talking) about themselves.

*in some of the aus we see she either transition or is born female, but she still feel similarly detached to gender.

Orientation: |Bi| Attracted to both binaries but compulsively gets with women more often, tending to only fantasize or on occasion entertain men flirting with him—he rarely goes past that unless it’s a power play or for a mission.

*real talk I think he probably has a fucked up relationship with sexuality, but that has less to do with who he’s attracted to and more to do with his own personal complexes surrounding sex and meaning.

Kunikida:

Gender:|Transwomen-unrealized| Identifies as male and uses masculine pronouns. BUT, when someone refers to him femininely instead of debating, he just pauses—it doesn’t feel as incorrect as it should, making his heart clench and then soften in a way that steals the words of rebuttal out of his mouth. (in another life she might realize, but in canon no such luck.)

Orientation: |Straight(?)| Interested in women, more specifically interested in finding The Perfect Woman™ according to his Ideals’, but alas. He’s fine with men flirting with him (he finds it strangely flattering, making his heart flutter with warmth) but he just politely informs them he’s straight.

However, he isn’t opposed to being an a qpr with a man—he would never seek it one out, but if he found himself in one with somebody he REALLY values it wouldn’t be much of an issue.

Ranpo:

Gender: |Transman| Uses masculine pronouns.

Orientation: |unspecified| Not super interested in relationships and has distaste or confusion over certain aspects of them (but I’m tempted to say this might be more related to his autism than his sexuality). If the transition into the relationship was natural and subtle, he'd be ok with it.

*Ranpo likes running bets with the ADA (read Yosano, Dazai and sometimes Fukazawa, the others stopped betting with Ranpo over anything a long time ago b/c they’d never win) over who’s with/going to get with who and what happens between the relationships. (sfw or otherwise)

Tanizaki:

Gender: |Transmasc, Demiboy| Uses masculine and neutral pronouns

Orientation: |Bi-curious| Finds men attractive (bi panics) but isn’t sure if it’s romantic interest.

Yosano:

Orientation: |Lesbian| Likes women and wine and having a good time.

Fukuzawa:

Orientation: |Aro| Doesn’t clock advances well (like he’s REALLY bad at it, Ranpo has to point it out for him) and when he does, he just chuckles and says he’s flattered but no, none for him thanks.

[shirohige-pirates]

Just Like Fire

CisFem Reader x Portgas D. Ace

CW: angst, language, erotic, violence, serial killer, stalking, poisoning, over-bearing controlling parents, attempted forced marriage, possible dub-con, Munchausen by proxy (aka Factitious Disorder), wildly cute and fluffy despite the warnings. 18+ only

Summary: You're Sabo's biological sister in this AU. After college you moved in with your dear brother and his two sworn brothers in order to avoid going back home. You and Sabo despise your family equally.

Chapter 1: Nakama

“Thanks for letting me stay here.” You say for probably the fiftieth time in as many hours, setting down a small box of personal items in the room you’d been provided.

Sabo, your beloved brother, smiles at you. “Of course, (Y/N), I told you as long as you can deal with Ace and Luffy, you’re welcome to stay as long as you want.” He gives you a hug as the two of you hear a crash from downstairs, and can hear Ace and Luffy starting to squabble. “… Try to make it a month, at least.”

You start to laugh as the two of you head toward the stairs to see what happened.

“Oi! Be gentle with it Lu!” Ace snaps, picking up the scattered books carefully while his younger brother helps him.

Ace, Sabo and Luffy had been “brothers” since they were little kids. Your parents blamed Sabo’s rebellious nature on the other two, but there wasn’t much they could do about it. You knew Ace and Luffy were cursed, Sabo had talked to you about it when you were considering moving in with him. Cursed people had all sorts of things they could do, but the cost was an inability to swim. There were some other weaknesses, something about a certain kind of stone or metal, but unlike your parents you didn’t care if someone was cursed or not.

People were born that way, there wasn’t anything they could do about it, for better or worse. Just like how you and Sabo had been born to parents that didn’t suit you – there wasn’t anything you could do to change that.

“Honestly, we could just dump them.” You say, coming down the stairs.

“Oh, those are The Books, huh?” Sabo asks, his voice changing when he says ‘the books’.

“Haha, yeah, yeah.” You smile as you pick one up. Luffy looks confused, and so does Ace for a moment before he smiles. “Dad’s collection of must read titles.” You roll your eyes. “I couldn’t control what got packed, so these ended up coming along. I’m not going to suggest we burn them, but if you have a wobbly table or something?”

“What’s so bad about these books?” Luffy questions, flipping through one idly. “Aside from a lack of pictures.”

“It’s a bunch of flawed philosophy. Blood purity bullshit,” you say with a grumble. “Debunked theories and bigot science.”

“Burning stuff like that could be bad for the air.” Ace says flatly. “Oh! I know what we can do with ‘em – Lu, help me get ‘em gathered up.”

“Might I ask-?” You start as Ace looks up at you with a smile.

“It’s a surprise!” He beams up at you.

You tilt your head and feel Sabo’s hand on your shoulder. He gives you a reassuring smile before he continues past you to help the other two gather up the books.

“We’re going to the station, I assume?” He asks and both Luffy and Ace chime in the affirmative. Sabo looks back at you. “The station’s cooler and usually filled with some rough-.”

“-but nice!” Luffy interjects, head popping up over Sabo’s shoulder as your brother takes a second before continuing.

“-but nice people.” Sabo finishes. “You might not need a jacket, but you might want to dress warmer.”

“Any chance of a meal while we’re out?” You ask, already heading back upstairs.

“You just ate.” Sabo gapes.

“Just was nearly three hours ago, dear brother.” You correct. “We’ve been hauling boxes up these steps for the last three hours. I am hungry.”

“How does something so small eat so mu--.” Sabo stops as he and Ace look over at Luffy who’s already laughing. “Never mind.”

With the books eventually gathered, the four of you loaded into Sabo’s car.

“I still can’t believe you ended up with the Odyssean.” You muse as the box is loaded into the trunk. You clear your throat when you see a smile from Sabo, and confusion from the other two. Doing your best impression of your father you open your arm toward the vehicle.

“A masterpiece of bespoke stitching and sustainable design, this mainstream produced Bentley offers a balance of luxury and quality, while still leading the edge of sustainability and viability. A perfect first car for my chosen heir.” You rolled your eyes at the end. “If dad hadn’t said the words ‘mainstream produced’, Stuffy might have actually kept it.”

“Pfft – hahaha.” Ace laughs, Luffy breaking into a laugh with him. “Stuffy, ah-hahaha!”

You grin. “You’ve met him, it seems.”

“He came camping with us once, remember?” Sabo says as Ace holds the passenger door open for you with an exaggerated flourish.

“Oh right, he pitched a fit for weeks to be allowed to go, and then was livid when he came back.” You laugh. “I’d almost forgotten, you were what, eleven?”

“Mm, it was one of the few times I had been hoping that father wouldn’t give in.” Sabo sighs.

“How long are you staying with us?” Luffy asks as the drive begins.

“A few months. I was thinking a year tops if you can all put up with me that long.” You answer with a smile, turning a bit to look at Luffy while you talk. “That should be enough time to job hunt and then start apartment hunting.”

“You should just stay!”

“… HUH?” You feel your mouth go slack.

“There it is.” Sabo says flatly.

“Well, it’s been decided.” Ace says with a smile.

You recover quickly and laugh. “Just like that huh? What in the hells just happened?”

“Luffy determines friend or foe very quickly.” Sabo explains as you sit back in your seat.

“I am in the friend column, it seems.” You muse as you hear Luffy laughing.

“No you’re not.” He says, still laughing, and there’s a second of tension in the air. “(Y/N) is nakama!”

“Sorry, what?” You ask, turning fully toward the backseat.

Ace points to everyone in the car. “Nakama.”

“Is that like siblings?”

He shakes his head. “Think of it like a step up from friends. Kind of like a found family, but not necessarily familial.”

You can feel your face starting to heat up and turn away before it shows. “Well… thank you then. Not even done with my first official day and I’ve been adopted.”

Sabo reaches over and pats your head. “It’s going to be a lot of adjusting. Ace and Luffy are doing a good job of holding back.” He admits. “Luffy usually hugs everyone he likes, and Ace is pretty handsy too.”

“Han- HANDSY?! Don’t say it like that, it makes me sound like a pervert!” Ace growls, hand on the headrest of your seat as he leans forward. “I give better hugs than Luffy, and I’m not asking to see people’s panties like Brook.”

“Will Brook be at the station?” You question, trying not to sound too concerned.

“Huh, no – er – he works at the Library downtown with Robin and Nami.” Ace answers you. “The guys at the station are pretty tame, you don’t have to worry about them.”

You can’t help yourself. “Mm, but I do have to worry about you?”

Sabo and Luffy are laughing as Ace’s entire face goes red. “No, I’m-.”

“Y-you can-can not say you’re tame!” Sabo manages between laughs. The infectious laughter hits you too and the car’s filled with it for a couple minutes.

“Ah, haha, haaa,” Sabo wipes a tear from his eye. “Oh, but you can trust Ace and Luffy, (Y/N), as I’ve said before. No matter anything else, they’re my brothers for a reason.”

“Brothers with you cause they’re menaces just like you are.” You tease, causing Luffy and Ace to laugh at Sabo’s expense. Which seemed only fair since you’d been tossing around teasing one another all morning.

The rest of the car ride was a continuation of the same. A little roasting, a lot of chatting, by the time you made it to the station you were pretty tired. Between all the moving you’d done that morning and all the laughing you were starting to run on fumes.

You let out a yawn and Sabo pats your leg. “I’ll go get us something to eat after I drop you off. Will you be okay with Luff, and Ace?”

You nod. “Even if all I had was your trust of them, but it’s been a fun few days moving with their help. I trust them on my own.”

Sabo smiles as he pulls into the fire station’s lot. “I’m just going to grab some grub - given the time should I-.”

“Oi!” A man with brown hair, a wide smile and a scar on the side of his face is waving at the car. “I recognize that beauty anywhere! What timing you lugs have!”

Ace opens the door getting out. “Whaddya mean, Thatch?”

“Izou and Marco just came back with a truck load of subs and sodas. There’s plenty to go around come on— oh, hello Miss.” Thatch offers you a wide smile. “You must be the mysterious sister.”

You open the door with a grin. “The mysterious sister does vaudeville on the Red Line.” You tease, offering your hand for a shake. “I’m just the disappointing sister, (Y/N).”

“Disappointing to our parents maybe.” Sabo says after putting the car in park and shutting it down. “Food’s already here? How fortunate.”

“Yeah, it’s Ducky Bree’s birthday and we’re just having some grub.” He explains. “Nothing too over the top.”

“Birthday?! Thatch did you make a cake!?” Luffy asks, nearly tackling the older man.

“Yes,” Thatch says, hooking Luffy with his arm and holding him back. “For later, you unhinged little black hole!”

“At least make sure the birthday boy gets a slice first, Luffy.” Ace teases. He holds out his elbow toward you with a smile. “Would you like an escort, oh mysterious sister?”

You laugh, putting your arm through his offered one. “I see you offered your elbow so as not to be too handsy, hm, Mr. Portgas?”

Sabo laughs as Ace’s cheeks flush a little. “Not living that down huh?”

“We’ll see.” You say with a smile as the two of you walk toward the station. “Sabo said you’re a firefighter. Luffy as well, yes?”

“Yeah, he’s a part-timer, he does volunteer EMT work for the main hospital. He’s good friends with a couple of the doctors there. I mean, it’s Luffy, he’s never met a stranger.” Ace explains.

“I don’t feel like you have either.” You say with a smile.

“I’ll take that as a compliment.” He says, unthreading his arm from yours and opening the door. “After you, Miss.”

The man-door opens into a huge, cooled room with several large fire trucks in it. There’s lines painted on the floor to direct traffic, and where to park the trucks. There’s poles, stairs, and gear everywhere, and there’s a few fold out tables set up with food and drink on them. There was a small mess of people inside, all well-built guys walking around in little more than pants and boots with the tops of their fire gear hanging around their waists. Some wore t-shirts. Some did not.

Everyone looked warm and kind, and several people greeted Luffy, Ace, and Sabo. Most of them gave you a wave from a comfortable distance – they probably knew they could be an over-bearing and rowdy bunch and were doing their best to hold back a little.

Ace brought you a seat, and Sabo brought you something to eat, the two sitting with you for a while.

“You doin’ alright?” Ace questioned.

You nod, swallowing your bite of sandwich. “Yeah, my uh, constitution’s a little weak, but I do well enough.”

“The move’s worn her out a bit.” Sabo offers. “If it had only been a day or two it probably wouldn’t have caught up like this.”

“Oh. Oh, hey, if you need to stay in we can go back, I didn’t mean to drag you out when-.”

You put your hand up. “It’s okay. I promise.” You say reassuringly. “I don’t like to let it hold me back if I can help it. If I was really worried, I would’ve spoke up though, I promise.”

“Alright.” Ace accepts it, looking at you for a moment before going to get himself something to eat.

“He and Luffy will likely worry about you,” Sabo says. “I hope it’ll be okay.”

“Mm.” You nod. “It’s genuine concern, I can’t fault that. It’s not like what mom and dad did my whole life.”

“Once he comes back I’ll go get some-.”

“Sa-boo.” You tease, sticking out your tongue a little. “I’m good, go get something to eat. These guys aren’t going to eat me if you leave me alone for a minute.”

Sabo grunts a half-hearted laugh before getting up and going to get his own food. You look around a little while you eat, noticing some pictures taped onto the wall. There’s a bunch of guys in various states of uniform dress in the pictures. You recognize quite a few of the guys who are here right now. You find a couple pictures with Ace and Luffy in them, and even a few pictures with Sabo reluctantly hauled into the middle.

It warms your heart. Growing up with your parents wasn’t easy for either of you. Sabo came away from it with physical scars, and you came away from it with emotional ones. Both of you were considered disappointments to the rest of the family, but once they shifted all their hopes and dreams onto Stebby’s shoulders things almost got worse.

At least for a little bit. Once you were both able to leave for more than just a few hours a day, things began to improve. You’d both specifically chosen Universities and jobs in the New World, instead of the East Blue. It kept you further from home, which suited you both. Ever since the One Piece had been found, the New World had been the center of growth and opportunity. Maybe a little rough for you, but Sabo had a solid foundation here and that gave you a better chance of getting your own feet under you.

The better you could do for yourself, the less likely you were to get dragged back home.

“Ah, you found the pictures, huh?” Ace asks, sitting back down and breaking your train of thought.

You smile. “I did. Quite the lively bunch. I can see how you and Luffy fit in.”

Ace beams. “They’re good guys. The Family I didn’t know I needed sometimes.”

“Nakama.” You offer, and Ace smiles wider. You feel your heart skip a beat at that smile.

“Exactly! Catching on fast.” He says taking a few big bites of food. You’d spent a couple days with him and Luffy now, though most of it was packing, moving, unpacking, organizing and then sleeping like the dead, so you hadn’t really had time to just chat. But you’d seen the two of them eat, and your only thought was how your parents would be appalled.

Somehow, it made it endearing.

You’d matched up most of the people in the photos to the people in the station, but there were a couple you didn’t see. Either they were off today, which seemed unlikely, there were a lot of people in the station in civilian clothes, and it seemed everyone meant to come by for the celebration. Or they had moved on to something else.

Ace talks you through some of the people in the photos, pointing from them to the hubbub in the room. He gives you names, and little anecdotes about them. Sabo joins in when he comes back, sprinkling in complaints about what some of them had nearly done to his favorite hat. One you realize he isn’t wearing right now.

“Who’s that?” You ask, pointing to a man with shaggy black hair and an impressive beard for a guy running into burning buildings.

Ace’s eyes darken. “Teach.” He says before giving you a sheepish look. “He… was executed.”

Your eyes go wide.

“We kept the one picture up because for a long time he did save people, yoi.” Marco interjects, causing you to look over at him. You recognize the blonde from Ace’s earlier run down of people, and already you know he has a high regard for the older man. “Doesn’t excuse what he did, but -.”

“No, I get it.” You say, looking back at the picture. “The good he did doesn’t excuse the bad, but the bad he did doesn’t invalidate the good. People are complex like that.”

Marco’s eyebrows raise a little before he tips the bottle of soda toward you and the picture. “Well said.”

“… I think I remember the story about that.” You admit quietly.

“It was international news.” Sabo agrees. “I wouldn’t be surprised.”

“He was… cursed, right?” You ask tentatively. Sabo nods, but you can see Ace is getting uncomfortable. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to-.”

“Ah, no – no, it’s okay.” Ace interrupts, giving you a sad smile. “It’s just-.”

“It’s an extra sour subject for us.” Marco interjects again, having come a little closer. “Most of the people at this station are cursed.”

You make a dissatisfied face. “There needs to be a better word for that.”

“Eh?” Marco’s head tilts and Ace looks at you questioningly.

“Cursed is such a negative connotated word. But you’re not. You’re not monsters. There’s nothing wrong with you. If anything, … I don’t know. If anything, I think people should at least be kinder about it, I guess.”

There’s a moment of silence and you see a flicker of blue slide over Marco’s shoulders.

“Sabo, your mysterious sister is divine, yoi.” He says before smiling brightly at you. “Pardon me, but I think you need to meet everyone.”

“Wha-uh, sure?” You question as Marco leans down and lifts you up easily onto his shoulder. You yip a bit as Sabo and Ace move to steady you if Marco loses his grip, but the older blonde has a good hold on you.

“Sons of the New World!” Marco says getting everyone’s attention. “Meet the guardian deity of the station!”

“… the what?” You murmur, holding onto Marco’s head as he steadies you easily.

There are hoots and cheers and people are raising their bottles of soda and water. Thatch cheers over the crowd.

“Three cheers for (Y/N)! Hip!”

“Hoo-rah!”

“Hip!”

“Hoo-rah!”

“Hip!

“HOO-RAAAAAAAHHH!!” Even Sabo and Ace were cheering for you by the end of it.

Your face was burning hot as Marco set you down. You were smiling, even if you were confused to no end.

“What just happened?”

“Nakama.” Ace says with a smile, catching your gaze. “Feeling okay?”

“Yeah. I mean, a little confused, but I’m good.”

“The New World is a little more accepting of the cursed,” Marco explains. “But there’s a lot of fear and anger around it still. Most of us end up in jobs that are dangerous, yoi. People expect us to take the risk, but there’s not much acceptance or reward to go with it.

“Hearing you say something like that, it’s kind of its own reward, yeah?”

“Ah, but I’m nobody.” You try to say, but the words die on your lips a little. You might not like your family, and you might not like that they are your family, but you and Sabo are still nobility.

“Even if your family was different,” Marco says, crouching down to catch your gaze. “What you said shows you get it. That’s rare, yoi.”

After that there was a blur of face-to-face introductions with the people at the station. You met enough people you were losing track of names, but the faces were easy to remember. Eventually, Ace remembered why he had dragged everyone to the station in the first place and got a few people to help him bring the books from Sabo’s car.

The books were set near a brick wall out in a small training area.

“We train everything except live fires here.” Ace explains as he, Marco, Luffy, Izou, Jozu and Thatch help him set up a hose. “It’s enough to help keep us all warmed up without any big risks. Stand there.”

Ace points and you do as he instructed. Sabo is nearby, but he’s standing away from the set up. Ace stands behind you, with Marco on the other side of the hose. The other men line up behind the three of you.

“We’re going to brace the hose, so don’t worry about that.” Ace says, continuing his explanation. “Put your hands here, and here. When you’re ready, we’ll turn it on.”

“… You’re letting me use a fire hose to …?” You prompt, tilting your head.

“It’ll tear those books to pieces.” Ace beams. “C’mon, this is why we came here.”

“I’m not strong.” You admit a little reluctantly.

“We are.” Ace says, making sure you realize how many people are keeping the hose steady. “You’re not alone, I got your back. Sabo’s at the emergency shut off, it’ll be okay.”

You grip the hose a little more surely. “O-okay, let’s do this then.”

“Good, you can brace against me, it might buck a bit even with all of us holding it, but don’t worry.” Ace assures you.

“S-Sure.” You nod, setting your feet in a way that you hope is a little more steady than how they were.

“Relax, (Y/N).” Marco says.

Easy for you to say, you think. You don’t have your brother’s unexpectedly hot roommate ‘braced’ against you.

Ace has you put your hand over his as he engages the hose. There’s a small jolt as the pressure’s released and a jet of water shoots out of it. Ace lets you guide his hands as you take out one book after the other. There’s a thrill in the rush of water, and the catharsis of destroying the damnable books – especially in the company of the kind of people the books lambast.

You’re giggling and the guys holding the hose are laughing and cheering. You don’t even know if they know what’s written in the old books, but the whole thing gets your heart pumping.

After a few minutes, Ace turns the hose off and the blast of water turns into a slow trickle. A few shifts in the wind had misted you a little, but the cool water was refreshing and it was still plenty warm out.

“Oh – whew – that was more fun than I expected!” You say, bouncing a little as you head over to the ruined books. Sabo and Ace follow you as the others get the hose put away properly.

“Father would be furious to see these in this state.” Sabo says with utter delight in his voice.

You laugh. “Yeah. I almost want to take a picture.”

“What’s stopping you?” Ace asks.

“I wouldn’t get to see the looks on their faces when they opened the email.” You say with a devilish grin. “I’d much rather tell him in person.”

“Going back home anytime soon?” Sabo questions.

“Nah, but I’m not going to forget this day for a long time.” You admit with a smile.

[yousaydisco]

Scrapped bit of 'Realizing Vicky'

A couple of months ago I wrote a fic 'Reinventing Jean Vicquemare' and started writing a sequel almost immediately after, but then hit a wall and stopped. I didn't write a lot but I still didn't want it to be tossed unceremoniously in the trash.

Included is: ~900 words of Trans Fem Jean, Jean/Kim, references to casework, sex, and gender dysphoria. It's the beginning of what was intended to be a much longer fic so it's Very Unfinished.

"How do you do it?" Vicky murmurs quietly into his chest. They are both still nude, drenched in sweat, having finished having sex only twenty minutes earlier. Kim stalls in his motions of carding his hand through her hair, gently scratching her scalp. He doesn't move away. 

"What do you mean?" His accent, already strong and purely Revacholian, is even thicker now. It'll be back to normal before he goes to bed, this is only a slip in his composure. 

She means his flattened chest with its two perpendicular scars under his pecs, starting from the armpit and ending with a curve to his nipples. How he carries himself with such a sure confidence, almost a swagger except not since if he walked with any more confidence than he has it would be decidedly uncool, but as it stands it comes off as so natural that no one could fault it. How the most vitriolic and bigoted people would look at him and find reasons for them to believe he was a lesser man than them, but be damned if they had to say that he's not a man at all. 

(And if they want to argue that he's not a man then she could cite how he wears a harness and a six-inch purple dildo like it's the most natural thing in the world and seemed to barely break a sweat while he systemically took her apart.)

But she doesn't say any of that. She's silent for a moment and then unravels herself from Kim. Unwraps her arms from where they were curled around his waist and she abruptly stands up, only staying in the room long enough to grab the pair of discarded sweats and go for a smoke.

She doesn't have a balcony - she's not made of fucking money, or really anything besides amphetamines and an urge to get fucked one last time that's keeping her alive for a little longer - so she goes to the living room window and leans out. Eventually, Kim saddles next to her.

He clears his throat, silently and gently prodding her to continue. Except the words still don't - they just aren't coming.

"I don't know." She does eventually say, which is slightly better than nothing. She isn't leaving him completely hanging, at least not by her logic. The topic is dropped. 

They sit together in silence until her cigarette is smoked almost down to the nub. Then Kim reaches over for the tiny tube of passionfruit scented moisturizer that she had recently acquired and she applied it to her hands, feeling the rough patches greedily drink in the lotion like a woman lost in the desert. 

Despite the warmth, Vicky sleeps with the comforter over her ears. 

____

She is not Vicky at work, even in her head. But she does relent a little and let herself be her. 

It feels like a mistake every time. Like it can be read on your face. Jean-y boy finally admitted it! She's a lady-man! Or he's a sissy? It's a f - 

"You look like you're being mean to yourself again." Judit says patiently. 

"Glad to know nothing's changed." She says sardonically. But it did successfully break her out of her mind. 

They are alone together in the car. Official RCM business. Went out on a call for a domestic dispute across town. Wouldn't be the business of the MCU except for the fact that it occurred in the same apartment building that only a day earlier had reported a tenant went missing. It's turning into a whole shitshow.

It resulted in them breaking up the 'fight' (the man throwing his weight around to show off how big his balls are and the woman trying desperately to not be seen as another battered wife) with Judit getting shoved aggressively into the wall and Jean cold-clocking the man twice until he went down. Once was needed, the second was for fun. 

"You still alright?" She asks again. For maybe the third time, or possibly more than a third, which might be very annoying and might make Judit feel like she's being looked down on and viewed as a delicate thing that can't handle the job, and fuck she doesn't mean that. But also it was a nasty hit. On the head! As soon as they get back to the station Judit is going straight to Gottlieb, but that also means she hasn't been checked out yet. 

But Judit is patient to a fault. She just sighs and says "I'm glad it's over."

"Preaching to the choir." And then the car roars to life and Jean, carefully, starts the drive back to the precinct. 

Jean doesn't know why she expects things to stay perfectly quiet. It's not like Judit is in love with her own voice or anything, but she doesn't care to let a friendly silence linger for too long. Jean suspects it has something to do with her husband back home. Too many dinners just spent sitting and staring at the food, and then downtime spent in separate rooms and sharing a bed that may as well be the size of the house it feels so empty. Usually