#narcissistic half sibling

[thegaiyaa]

I genuinely don’t understand why or even how some people think they have the authority to dictate how others should live their lives. It’s baffling when people who contribute nothing of value to society feel entitled to impose their will on others, especially those who are already in vulnerable situations and positions. Why is it that some can clearly see and witness the pain, trauma and abuse someone is going through, yet still have the nerve to stand by or worse, add fuel to the fire by encouraging or enabling the abuser?!?!?! What kind of demonic creature are you to be this way?!?!?

These people literally have no regard for the humanity in front of them, no empathy for the suffering they are complicit in and they’ll mask themselves as some kind of martyr or God to those who have more power than them. It’s truly so so disgusting and makes living amongst these people on earth truly unbearable. Soul crushing to be honest. Truly soul crushing.

[lesbianuhaulindustrialcomplex]

I did something recently that hurt my mom's feelings and the world has come to a fucking halt about it. Everyone keeps reaching out to me to be like "hey you hurt your mom's feelings idk if you know" even though she and I have extensively talked about it and I've given multiple genuine apologies because she keeps going to everyone who will still talk to her in our family (not very many people) and complaining about me and I'm just like. Genuinely I am very remorseful that I hurt my mother but like. Where the fuck was all this energy when she was hurting her fucking children for 30+ years?

[exposingtheweb]

Silent for Years, Guilty for Life: When Family Betrays You.

Family dynamics can be difficult, but when narcissism enters the equation, it becomes a minefield of manipulation, opportunism, and misplaced blame.

This morning in the hospital, years of resentment and unresolved pain came to a boiling point between my half-siblings, Vince and Angie, my sister Jamie, and me. This wasn’t just about one morning of chaos; it was a collision of history, hypocrisy, and betrayal.

Angie walked into the hospital room and immediately made herself known by yanking the chair I was sitting in and declaring, “You’ve been here longer, you were here all night.” That wasn’t true, but how would she know? Angie hasn’t been around my parents for years—no Father’s Days, no Mother’s Days, no birthdays. Like Vince, she’d stayed distant until they thought my dad, who isn’t even their biological father, was close to death.

She claimed she wanted to “spend time with Dad.” The audacity of that statement, given her absence, was too much for me to ignore. I replied, “You should have thought about that for the last four years.”

That’s when things escalated. Angie got in my face, called me a bitch, and blamed her estrangement from my parents on me. I asked her what that had to do with them, and she deflected, saying our mom was also a bitch.

Her hostility reached a point where Aubrey had to step in, positioning himself between us. If he hadn’t, I have no doubt she would have hit me. Instead, she turned her aggression toward him. “Why are you talking to me? I don’t fucking know you,” she shouted, trying to intimidate him.

Angie then looked to the nurse and demanded, “Only family should be in here, right? He’s not family.”

Her hypocrisy was glaring. So I told her, “Then you’re not family either. You’re a stepchild.”

Vince walked in shortly after, playing the calm, condescending mediator. “We all need to figure this out,” he said in his typical holier-than-thou tone.

I didn’t hesitate. I grabbed my things and made my position clear: “I’ll figure it out for you—I don’t want to be around any of you.”

Then came Jamie, playing her usual role as the fake peacemaker. She asked, “Why can’t we all just get along?”

The irony of her question, given her role in all this, was infuriating. “Because Vince and Angie haven’t been around,” I said. “I’ve been watching them break Mom and Dad’s hearts for four years, so you can all go fuck yourselves.”

Jamie feigned innocence, asking, “Why me?”

I didn’t hold back. “Because you’re a fucking snitch,” I told her. Vince had already made it clear earlier that Jamie was the one feeding him and Angie everything I say.

A History of Betrayal and Hypocrisy

This wasn’t just about today. Vince and Angie have had zero contact with my parents for years. They ignored birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays. No phone calls, no visits—nothing.

Angie, in particular, has a history of irresponsibility that makes her sudden concern for my parents feel even more performative. There was a time when Angie went missing for days, leaving her two minor children with nothing but an empty lasagna casserole dish and a tub of Kool-Aid. No worries, though—I stepped in and used my weekly allowance from my dad to buy her kids dinner. When CPS was called, instead of taking responsibility, Angie called me screaming, threatening that I’d never see my nephews again.

Now, here she is, claiming she wants to “spend time with Dad” after years of absence. Her sudden involvement isn’t out of love or duty—it’s opportunistic and selfish.

And Vince? He hasn’t been any better. My dad himself has said Vince needs to change his name back to his own father’s. Vince had changed his name to my dad’s when he turned 18—a choice that carried meaning and pride—but somehow still has the audacity to be this disrespectful.

Then there’s Jamie, my only full biological sister, whose betrayal cuts the deepest. She’s been feeding information to people I’ve gone no contact with—one for destroying their relationship with our family through their drug use, and another for outright disrespecting our parents. How do you trust someone who willingly betrays you to the people who’ve caused you the most pain?

No Regrets, No Reconciliation

I’ve been there for my parents, with no support from them. I don’t need extra time to make amends with a man I already have a relationship with. My dad and I have always shared love and understanding, and that’s something Vince, Angie, and Jamie can never take away.

It gives me so much joy when my dad refuses to hold Vince’s hand or when he responds to their declarations of love with a simple “I know.” But when I hold his hand, it’s different. He reaches for me. He rubs my hand. He tells me, “I love you, April,” when I tell him I love him.

I have no regrets for how I’ve treated my dad. I’ve been there when it mattered, and I know our bond is solid. I hope my half-siblings and Jamie are left to wrestle with their guilt for the rest of their lives. They’ve earned it.

[fallstaticexit]

Ahhh it's been 65 years, and I feel kinda crazy that I've had this sitting in my drafts for like 2 months. Assuming most readers of Missing Moments are also The Art of Being Seen readers- there's some hefty lore here that will come into play later.

prev/ next

Olive: Time to move on, right Kia?

[phone pings]

Nancy: Hello darling. Do you have a moment to talk?

Olive: Who’s this?

Olive: I don’t recall saying yes.

Nancy: [sighs] It feels so good to hear your voice again.

Olive: I only answered to tell you to block me.

Nancy: I would never.

Olive: Even though I asked?

Nancy: Well. I am incredibly selfish.

Olive: Why did you call me?

Nancy: I would like to see you, Olivia. Please.

Olive: I’m not for sale, sorry.

Nancy: I know. I wouldn’t want to meet on those terms again. If I could do it all over, I would have asked you to have dinner with me when I met you. I would have courted you properly, Olivia.

Olive: [scoffs] You would have gone to a strip club and asked a stripper to have dinner with you? Seriously? When would we have ever met under any other circumstance? It’s been made very clear to me how different we are. The only way this would have happened was if it were a fairy tale.

Nancy: What matters is, I have met you. I’ve experienced you and I can’t go back. My husband- my ex husband- he signed the petition for our divorce. I came out to him- officially. It’s over.

Olive: [stunned] That’s- that’s great. I am so happy for you-

Nancy: I’m leaving all of it. I’m starting over. All I want is you, if you’ll have me.

Olive: [sighs]

Nancy: Let’s just have one dinner and after we’ve talk, then you can decide. There’s so much I want to say, but I want to look you in the eyes as I say it.

Olive: One dinner?

Nancy: One dinner.

Nancy: May I see you tonight? I’ll send my driver and I’ll cook for you at my place. Anything you like.

Olive: Tonight is fine.. sure.

Nancy: [sighs happily] It’ll be hard not to kiss you the moment I see you-

Olive: Not too much, lover girl. It’s one dinner and I’m still very annoyed with you about all this, ok?

Nancy: Yes, my love. I’ll see you tonight.

Olive: And don’t look at me like that. It’s just dinner and a conversation, ok? I am not going to sleep with her ok?

Malcolm: Well. Now I see why my mother was so willing to ruin an entire empire over you. Those mugshots did you no justice.

Olive: What is this? Where’s Nancy?

Malcolm: I noticed our driver was heading this way, I figured I’d tag along. Sight see. Get in. Let’s chat.

Malcolm: I wonder if this feels like dejavu to my mother. She makes yet another thoughtless mistake and someone comes along to make it all go away. She has a nasty habit of that, you know.

Olive: Listen. I’m not feeling whatever family drama you all have going on. I don’t want to talk to you. I want to talk to Nancy.

Malcolm: I was raised by a narcissistic liar and a spineless coward. If I let this company fall apart, then wouldn’t it all had been for nothing?

Olive: [scoffs] So you want pity? I’m suppose to pity you? Give me a break.

Malcolm: Not pity, no. If anything, I pity you.

Olive: Is that right?

Malcolm: When it comes to success, you pale in comparison to your half siblings. You’ve financially crippled your parents in legal fees since your arrest and all you have to show for it is by shaking ass in a low end strip club in the Spice District. That’s right, I know alot about you Olivia Briar.

Malcolm: I know about that quaint little family of yours down in the country. I know about your niece’s struggling restaurant and her undocumented partner. Funny, he’s able to acquire loans under a fake name but there’s no records of a Noa Briar anywhere. I wonder what else your family is hiding.

Olive: [shaken] What is this about? Are you threatening me? What the fuck do you want?

Malcolm: I’m here to help you, not hurt you. One of the greatest lessons I’ve ever learned was the power of the dollar. I can make a lot of your problems go away with one deposit if you do just one thing.

Olive: [softly] ....What?

Malcolm: We’re going to turn around and park in front of your building. You’re going to go upstairs, pack up your things and then, you’re going to go back home to sweet old Henford. You’ll pay your parents back with the money you’ll receive from this arrangement and you’ll help your niece and nephew. All your problems - poof- gone.

Malcolm: All you have to do is walk away, and stay away. You see, my mother has a nasty debt to this family she still needs to pay. Don’t make it your burden.

[dreamingumbrellas]

why tua s1 is a masterpiece and 2-4 give me a migraine

i gotta use my english degree for something so lets talk about it

i’d like to note beforehand, that i’ve only seen about half of season 4. but given everything i’ve heard about it, i’ve decided to avoid watching it for my own mental wellbeing. i really haven’t enjoyed the last three seasons much, mostly i’ve been dredging through because of how much i love season 1. it feels painfully like seasons 1 and seasons 2-4 are for completely different fucking shows–particularly in tone.

i think tua season 1 attracted attention to its unique themes that are lost in the rest of the series. the primary themes are of trauma and dysfunctional family dynamics. it’s a story about seven severely abused siblings learning to cope with their trauma and reconnect as adults. season 1’s tone is somber. it shows us glimpses of the characters’ childhoods, and how it affects them in their adult lives. the characters in season 1 were, most importantly, flawed! they were assholes, because trauma turns people into assholes sometimes! 

you can directly trace back the siblings’ character flaws to the shit reggie put them through. Luther was the golden boy, which put too much responsibility on his shoulders and isolated him from his siblings. As a result, Luther is ultra-loyal to his dead father, in obvious denial of the abuse he endured because he was never able to form an identity for himself outside of reggie and the academy! he is the only one that never moved on. and then reggie turned luther into (for lack of a better term) a giant monkey without his consent, causing him to hate himself and even further alienate himself from the rest of the world. 

diego never left the ‘number 2’ headspace. he fights with luther even into adulthood. despite how much he claims to hate his father, he became a vigilante likely as an effort to finally be good enough for his dad. and lets not forget (unlike the writers) about his stutter–something that formed in childhood and came back as an adult when he was triggered with memories of his childhood. he’s inherently defensive because reginald pit the siblings against one another constantly.

allison is a narcissist–though, when we meet her in season 1, she’s more of a narcissist in recovery. she’s recognized how her childhood affected her and wants to become a better person to make up for the mistakes of her past. what mistakes again? well, she used her powers on her daughter because 1. she was never told no. reggie encouraged the usage of her powers, and the household where she grew up was violent, manipulative, and competitive. she had no sense of real normalcy, so she never learned how to build a happy, healthy family for her daughter. to cope with her trauma, she clung to her fame–this is shown both in adulthood and childhood flashbacks–leading her to become a movie star, and not accept her own faults.

klaus, well, klaus is the most obvious example of trauma. mostly due to reggie forcing his powers on him when he was a young childhood. locking him in a mausoleum for hours on end. he became a drug addict as a result. living on the streets, in and out of rehab, and stealing for money. we see him struggle constantly throughout season 1–through his interactions with ghosts (when its very possible he wouldn’t have developed such a fear of them if it weren’t for reggie), with flashbacks to his childhood and (later) to the vietnam war. his inability to take things seriously and his self-destructive behavior are both coping mechanisms. his siblings don’t trust him because of his lying and kleptomaniac tendencies.

five is a character whose development is utterly abandoned after season 1. he was only thirteen years old when he accidentally travelled in time to the apocalypse, where he remained for 45 years. i remind you of this because the writers won’t. he survived those years for his family! because he felt immeasurable guilt for leaving them! he was so lonely for these years that he developed a romantic attachment to a mannequin (something only referenced for a joke in later seasons). he was in an extremely vulnerable position when he was recruited by the handler (a character who was very creepy in her own right) and he was forced to use his childhood ‘superhero’ skillset to essentially become an assassin, a job he loathed himself for. all so he could have a chance to save his family. five is cocky, sarcastic, and yes, wants to save the world, but we forget that he wanted to save his family first. he was willing to sacrifice the world if it meant saving his siblings. and even once he returns to the present, he experiences ptsd flashbacks to his time in the apocalypse. five is severely traumatized and stuck between childhood and adulthood, has lived for far too long and has done too many terrible things to be a child, but is stuck in a childs body and never got the chance to emotionally mature past the age of 13. this in no way resembles the five we get in later seasons.

in season 1, ben is a tragedy. he is the character that haunts the narrative (literally). his death was the reason the family split up. he experienced an incredibly traumatic childhood, forced to slaughter people against his will. all so that he could die tragically young (we’ll get into his cause of death later). he’s stuck following klaus around for years, unable to interact with anyone else. he watched his brother deteriorate in front of him with no way to help. he’s angry about his death and sometimes takes out his frustrations on klaus. but at the same time, he was ‘the kindest’ of all the siblings. he cares deeply about his family, but can’t do anything about it.

i think it’s easy to forget that the initial focus of the show was viktor. viktor, who was told how unremarkable he was again and again. who was isolated not just from the world but from his own family as well. who was drugged up from an incredibly young age and forced to ignore his emotions. yes, the umbrella academy was abusive. but being isolated from his siblings was just another form of abuse. he grew up to resent his family on a lot of levels, writing his book as a method to vent his frustrations but only ended up in driving his siblings further away. viktor went through a lot of shit in season 1, and resulted in him ending the world. but did his family kill him? no. because that was the point of the entire show. that despite their trauma and how much they might resent one another, the siblings still loved each other more than the rest of the world put together. 

everything ive outlined are the elements that make up season 1, and are almost entirely forgotten about later. but by losing the integrity of the characters, they lost the narrative. the point of the umbrella academy was never saving the world–it was about a broken family reconciling with one another despite everything. these points of trauma are taken seriously. it was the complexity of these characters, at least in my opinion, that attracted attention towards them. and sure, we didn’t love every character all the time. remember how much luther was hated in season 1? but it’s because he was realistic. these characters, and the shit they went through, weren’t a joke. and the season ended off in a way that forshadowed these elements being explored more in depth. remember how it ended?

with the seven siblings holding hands as the world exploded around them. and for only a few seconds, we saw them transform back into their child selves.

now, this plot point (whatever it might have been) was instantly cancelled and forgotten about in season 2. but it really makes you think about the season we could have gotten: the characters being forced back into their childhood, having to confront the root of their trauma and essentially, all their problems. they could look back at what happened to them with a mature perspective and worked through it, realizing that they were not each other’s enemies. they could have made up for lost time, helped eachother heal, and ultimately prevent the apocalpyse by being family. you know, something that would have actually wrapped up the narrative nicely.

so, what happened?

the shows original themes of trauma, and repentance, and family were abandoned in favor of humor and spectacle. it seems like the creators misinterpreted what made the first season so successful. sure, the first season had a lot of funny moments and great fight scenes. but it was the emotional depth and complexity that made the show what it was. but worse than that, it continued to spit in the faces of the characters trauma, downplaying it in almost every way possible.

klaus’ relapses were played for comedy. his fear of ghosts was drastically downplayed with the use of cartoonish ghost-buster ass looking ghosts. five’s ptsd was never acknowledged again; his coping mechanism, dolores, became a joke. luther lost all character complexity entirely, instead becoming a himbo (who we love, but, still). viktor rarely brought up the feelings from his childhood, and nobody acknowledged his tell-all book again.

one of the things that infuriated me the most was the incorporation of reginald in later seasons. lets remind ourselves of some things: he purchased seven children, treated them like objects without names, trained them tirelessly and deprived them of a childhood, traumatized them by turning them into murderers, pitted them against one another, and literally tortured them. and that’s only the things we see him do on screen. you cannot convince me for a second that any of the siblings would ever be able to be the same room as that man without having serious flashbacks. I don’t believe for one second that they’d work with him, trust him, or empathize with him in any capacity (except maybe luther) except they do, consistently. even five, who is easily the smartest member of the academy, and extremely protective of his siblings.

and- LEST WE FUCKING DISREGARD- reginald MURDERED ben.

the moment that happened on screen felt like the last shovel of dirt on tua 1’s grave. supposedly all the siblings REMEMBERED this incident in seasons 1-3. and yet they went to their fathers funeral, spoke to him (relatively) civilly, and teamed up with him after seeing for themselves their father shoot their brother in the back of the head for seemingly no reason. not only did they apparently not hold this against their father, but they never mentioned it once in three seasons.

and yes, i know, there is a very simple reason for this. it was obviously made up at the last moment for plot convenience. but the implications for this being retconned in are damning for the characters. by writing this in, the writers decided that the siblings commitment to one another is meaningless. that the foundations upon which this show was created, are fucking meaningless. they threw away not only the individual complexity of each character, but also their relationship as a family.

[mellowpainternut]

Writers maked Aegon a pedo just because Mushroom said it "99.9% of his words are lie" And I don't have any problem with that ok?

But if they gonna make him a pedo and make people hate him, they also should make Mushroom others words true too.

They should make Rhaenyra have her half sister and step mother raped.

They should make Jace a cheater.

They should make Daemon a pedo rapist who cheat on his wife and then abandon his family to sleep with a 17 y/o.

If they really want to give us the right to choose our team, then they should not discriminate.

They should not cover blacks mistakes and only make greens look bad.

It's not a fairytale book about love and a strong princess who wants to save the world.

It's not about a feminist story with a lesbian relationship between two little girl.

This story is about two fucked up siblings that ruined Targaryens.

It's about two greedy, spoiled and cruel siblings who fought for iron throne.

It's not about Alicent and Rhaenyra, it's about Aegon and Rhaenyra.

It's not about a romance between Rhaenyra and Daemon. It's about how their relationship was toxic and how they used each other.

It's not about a hero and villain, it's about two super villain who been nothing but cruel.

It's about a dumb narcissistic woman and a broken mad man.

It's not about beauty and love. It's about blood and war.

The whole point of this book is to show how awful both side were and why because of two cunt house Targaryen fall.

Aegon wasn't a coward who wanted to escape. He did everything to protect his family. He was the one who fought for his family and survived, he was the one who survived the dragon fire while Rhaenyra literally did nothing and watched as her family died. He was the one who lost his everything for something that he never wanted but was forced to accept because he wanted to protect his family. He lost his family that he tried to protect, he lost his children, he lost his pride Sunfyre, he lost his body, he lost his mind, and he was betrayed. He was the most tragic character in the story yet in the show he's just a pedo rapist.

Rhaenyra was a fucking liar, a whore who opened her legs for any man that she liked, a fucking narcissist, she was literally female Maegor yet they maked her the most tragic who only became cruel after her child died even though she was always a spoiled and dumb woman who just wanted to kill anybody who said true about her bastards. Yet they maked her a fucking saint. A boss bitch with her womanly power. Someone who can do no wrong.

I'm so fucking tired of this show.

[fangsforiris]

How would the sakamaki brothers react if they find out that they were the sons of the same mother and that they're biologically brothers but karlheinz killed their real mother and separated them . (Btw i reaaally love your blog 💕💕)

Sakamaki Brothers’ Reaction to Being Blood Siblings Related by 1 Mother

——————————

Shū:

“We are blood related…? Seriously…? And here I thought I only had to deal with Reiji. …It seems as if that man will never rest. …That poor woman…”

• Shū wouldn’t be as shocked as compared to the others. He’s been used to Karlheinz’s plans for years longer than the others.

• However, he’d be more tired if anything. Like always, he can never be rid himself of his father and his constant need for his plans to succeed.

• I doubt his relationships with the brothers will change, since beyond this revelation, they are all still the same people. Within the same environment which conditions them to act within a hostile manner.

Reiji:

“Father… he… No. I refuse to believe such a sentiment. I already loathe being related to that deadbeat enough, but this? …What will become of us now?”

• He’d be the most in denial. As in, it would take Reiji the longest to accept that this was even a possibility in the cards.

• Reiji is known to idolize his father, so for this to occur? I think it would heavily confuse his loyalties.

• However, since he does have somewhat of a maternal instinct for his siblings, mainly younger, he’d use this as an opportunity to get closer to them and have more of a ‘close knitted family,’ in the way the Mukami’s do.

Ayato:

“Ehh!? What do you mean we all shared a mother?! That doesn’t even make sense…! We don’t even look alike? Gah… that old man has some explaining to do!”

• Most confused 100%

• Either he skipped a few biology lessons or fell asleep in them, but even he knows that it doesn’t add up as much as it’s supposed to.

• I think he’d use this as a way to perhaps become a bit closer to all of the brothers and in a sense, make amends for the past teasing/borderline bullying he participated in (mainly towards Subaru.)

• Since he is considered to be the most ‘humane’ out of the brothers, it isn’t as far off for him to have empathy and to want to start brand new.

Kanato:

“We… all share a mother? What do you mean? Am I not my mothers son? I don’t understand, Teddy. What are is he saying…? What are you saying!? This does not make any sense…!”

• I think he’d also be in denial, or mainly shocked beyond comprehension.

• It’ll take Kanato a bit to understand, especially since this will deeply impact his pre-established identity issues.

• He was heavily narcissistic about his hair due to it being almost exact to the late Cordelia’s, so for him to not have that connection, one that he founded his entire self-esteem on, it would be detrimental.

Laito:

“So it seems we were fooled, weren’t we? Fufu~ That man certainly knows how to cause a commotion. …That woman then is no mother to me…”

• Out of everyone, I think Laito would want to do further research into this woman and who she was.

• Due to his complicated relationship with his mother, and his pre-established self-loathing, I think this will make him wonder if in another life, he’d be able to have a healthy correlation with mother figures and sexual activity as a whole.

• Laito already does somewhat act as an ‘older brother’ towards Ayato, Kanato, and Subaru, but perhaps this would allow him to get away with more in the scope of caring and involvement.

Subaru:

“He… killed her…? That damned old man! He’s selfish to the core, not one ounce of feeling to be found in him…! That’s all we are… just pawns…”

• Subaru already hated his father due to what he did to his mother and himself. So to find out that he shared an actual blood bond with his brothers, and not just a half-bond would be almost incomprehensible to him.

• He’s always wondered what it’d be like to share a fully-blooded sibling, so to find out it was always here… is bittersweet. Especially since the pre-established relationships between him and the rest of them are sour, and based on tearing down his self-esteem.

• He’d feel the most bad for the woman, and whatever alternate universe could’ve arised from him having a good parent that didn’t project all of their emotional turmoil onto him.

[linos-luna]

New family 🥀

Bang Chan x Reader

Warning: mention of abuse and sexual trauma

(Pt. 1) — (Pt. 2)

————————— 🥀 ————————

Home life was toxic and your childhood was rough. It’s only recently that you moved out of your mom’s house and since then, you only really keep in contact with your siblings.

The whole family dynamic was toxic. From your immediate to extended. Your mom was verbally abusive. Your our dad… well we don’t even talk about him. He went to prison when you were a baby and that’s all you know.

Although you did grow up with a stepdad. A straight up abusive narcissist. Your sibling were your half siblings so you were the stepchild to him. And he abused you on the daily. Verbal, physical, and even sexual… until you finally reported him. But even then, he just moved out.

Living with your mom as an adult was also tense as you two never got along

Eventually you had a moment of clarity. Realizing that this isn’t normal. So you tried cutting them off. It’s hard and you deal with the turmoil of that constantly…

~~~~

You had a friend named Chan, well actually his name was Chris but Chan was a nickname he liked. You met him in college and have been a little more than friends ever since. You never officially dated for a while, only flirting really. Although you suppose you’re dating now since he’s taken you home to meet his family already…

He was so kind. The sweetest guy you’ve ever met. Always so patient with you and loving. He knows your boundaries and always checks in on you.

You’ve told him about your family and he listens, knowing that some people just want someone to listen.

He also supported your dreams, heck his whole family did. He was a producer, and a good one at that, so when you told him that your dream was to be a dancer, he was excited for you and did everything he could to help you. This is the most support you’ve gotten from someone in your whole life.

Often times you felt like a burden. You weren’t the most physically affectionate and you needed constant reassurance that you’re not annoying.

One day you were having it particularly rough. You weren’t sure exactly what it was but your depression was really hitting hard.

Your boyfriend had sensed something was wrong when chatting on the phone with you so he came over.

He did his best to cheer you up. On his way there he picked up your favorite boba drink and some food.

You were happy to see him and gave him a tight hug the second he stepped in.

As you ate lunch, he asked you what was up.

“My mom called me…” you said with a sigh.

“Yeah?”

“It just… wasn’t good.”

“I understand.” He said while patting your hand. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”

You nodded and continued eating. “How’s the new song going?”

“It’s great. Almost finished!” He replied with a smile. “This is definitely going to be one of my best works.”

“All your work is the best.” You said with a giggle.

“Yeah well, how’s my pretty girl doing? Any auditions lately?”

“Yeah I’m gonna be a back up dance in another music video. I just got the call yesterday.” You said with excitement.

“And you didn’t tell me?” He said in a teasing voice.

“Well I didn’t want to bug you, Channie.”

“You never bug me babygirl.” He replied with a sigh. “Never ever.”

After lunch you both went to the living room to relax. Sometimes you just liked laying with him. He was so warm.

A buzz from your phone, got you distracted from a moment. You looked at the text message and got quiet. It was from your mom.

> Why can’t you just be happy?

You hate when she says that. Always disregards your feelings. You got up and went to your room. Chan was confused and followed after you, just to see you crying on the bed.

“Babygirl, what happened?” He said while sitting next to you.

“Why is she like this?!” You cried. “She can’t just leave me alone!”

Chan looked at the message and hugged you.

“It’s okay, baby—”

“No it’s not!” You blurted out while standing up: “I hate it! I hate it! I hate it!!”

You shook your head, seemingly trying to pull your hair out.

“Okay. Okay.” He said calmly while taking your hands. He was still sitting and had you stand in front of him. “Babygirl, don’t hurt yourself. Look at me…”

You paused and only looked at him with a pout.

Chan wiped your tears and frowned. He hated seeing you like this. He wants to take you away from all this. He wants you to live with him and leave everything behind.

As you continued crying, you sat on his lap and hugged him, crying and sobbing into his shoulder.

“Do you want a new family?”

“What…?” You asked while pulling back.

“A new family. One that loves and supports you.” Chan said while rubbing your cheek. “You know, my parents have always liked you… and my siblings… and extended…”

You teared up. The idea of a family… a non toxic and loving family just taking you in as their own… it was a lot.

“A family that… loves each other… and supports each other….?” You said, more thinking out loud. “N-no bad touching… n-no yelling at me…?”

“No family is perfect but they do love you and will never hurt you like…”

“… like mine…”

He sighed and you instantly hugged him again.

“Yes… yes!” You cried while holding on tight.

“I’ll make that happen, babygirl. Don’t you worry…”

He pulled you back and kissed your forehead before letting you silently cry into his shoulder. He held you as well. The feeling was so warm and secure. You always felt safe with him. You felt so loved when with him. You always wondered if you even deserved that love.

How was this going to work? Well Chan had been planning to propose to you for a while. He’s already been looking at rings. But now he thinks he should speed it up a little. Sooner the better. He wants you to be happy. He knows his family will take you in. They will welcome you with open arms. And he’ll take care of you for the rest of his life…

————————— 🥀 —————————

This is the dream I had where I woke up crying. And my mom did say that to me. Just not thru text. My depression been pretty bad lately…

[novashelby]

Little Evie things that probably won't make it to the fanfic~(or will, but just elaborated)

Part I

TW: There are mentions of abuse(all) and a tough childhood.

Evie doesn't know who her biological father is, but there was a man when she was little that would go to her mother and give her money. He'd look at Evie, but would never say anything. Just hand over money and leave. She believes this man is her biological father, but her biological mother refuses to tell her.

Evie has a minor allergy to different types of fruit; strawberries, nectarines, peaches. She will break out on her cheeks in a red, itchy rash.

Because of her mother, she doesn't warm up to mother like figures very easily.

The first time Tommy left her with Polly, she hid in the closet. Polly sat on the floor on the other side and told her about Cinderella.

Tommy is the only person she 100% trusts. Even when she is married or with another man, she will always love her father 10x more(not in a weird way). She is genuinely scared for when he dies and she no longer has him.

Though they bicker like siblings, Evie tells Finn everything. When Evie's first boyfriend broke up with her, he was the one to comfort her and hold her. Though he betrayed the family, Evie still loves Finn very much. She secretly checks up on him from time to time.

She loves Uncle Arthur and Uncle very much, but for two different reasons. Uncle Arthur covers for her when Tommy doesn't want to let her out. Uncle John picks her up from parties shes not suppose to be at.

John and Esme are her godparents. Despite being Catholic her whole life and Tommy being an Atheist, she had to go through the whole Baptism and communion process again. Tommy wanted to forget about it, but Polly wouldn't let him. Evie is actually very religious in the sense she prays a lot.

Though, Polly is next in line if anything were to happen to Tommy. If not Polly, Ada.

When she was with her biological mother, she would ask God every day to give her a set of wings like an angel so she could fly wherever she wanted. When she was five, she made some from paper, but her mother used them for the fire.

If Cindy(her biomom) was born today, she would be diagnosed with bipolar 1 and BPD and narcissistic personality disorder.

Her maternal grandparents actually have money. They were a well off family in Boston, but Cindy kept running from home for no reason. She is of Irish descent. It is speculated that Evie is half Irish-half Italian.

Unknown to Evie, there was a man who did come forth to Tommy about Evie. But Tommy said the adoption was closed and that Evie didn't need anymore confusion in her life. They did cross paths once when Evie went to the Garrison after school to give Tommy a school paper. She asked who that man was, but Tommy said it a work friend.

Her maternal grandparents attempted to reach out, but Tommy denied them as well. They came to England, and only Polly was home at the time. Unknown to Tommy, Polly gave them a photo of Evie. It was a copy of her school portrait from when she was 11. At the time, Evie was 16.

Some time before Grace was shot, Evie went to the shops for sweets. She was a pence short. There was a man behind her in line and he gave her the pence. It was Luca Changretta

Despite being bubbly and happy, Evie struggles a lot of the inside and has chronic panic attacks. Only two people can calm her down; Tommy and Finn.

Evie is the 'biggest' girl in her class, weight wise. She struggles a lot inward with her confidence. When she was 14, the brother class(boys in the same grade at the boys school) at St. Michael's ranked all 8 girls by prettiness. Evie was number 8. That hurt Tommy more than anything and unknown to anyone, he cried in his office at his daughter's pain.

If born today, Evie would be diagnosed with ADHD and dyscalculia.

Peter Novak, Evie's first long-term boyfriend, asked Tommy 3x before he agreed to let him take Evie out. Tommy liked Peter the first time he walked into his office. Just wanted to see how serious the boy was.

Actually, the whole Shelby family really loved Peter. Even after they broke up, he'd be invited to family functions.

When Grace died, she cuddled Charlie to sleep every night for months. When Ruby died, she held Lizzie to sleep.

She would braid Ruby's hair every day.

Every single morning before school, she would hug and kiss Tommy on the cheek and say, "I love you, Daddy". The day she didn't and just said, "Bye, dad, I have to go to school..." He paused, feeling his heart sink. He quickly got up and ran to the door, calling her back in the house. "Oi, what the fuck was that?!" After that, she never called him dad. It was always daddy.

She hit Finn three times with a car. Once, when she was 10 and fooling around behind the wheel. The car rolled forward and bumped him. Once, Uncle Arthur was trying to teach her how to drive and he was telling her back up, but she rushed forward and hit him. Arthur simply got up and said, "Eh, you're fine, Finn...get up!" The time she backed up into him.

She's also whacked everyone's car at least once. Every time Evie drives to a family function, they give her a designated spot away from everyone's car. They either make sure to leave before her or wait 30 minutes after she leaves to avoid being on the same road.

The only reason she got her license is because the instructor fell asleep. No one was happy that day.

When Tommy was afraid of his tumor diagnosis, he wanted to marry Evie off. There was Gypsy boy named Elias, but Isaiah stepped forward instead.

When Evie learned that Martha's(her best friend) first boy was hitting her, she told her Uncle John and together, they drove to the boy's house and smashed the family car.

Evie is a sore loser when it comes to games.

John's wedding was Evie's first family function.

Esme taught Evie how to take care of her curly hair and do her make up.

She has lived in 3 countries; US(Boston), England(London, Liverpool, Birmingham), and France(Paris).

It was a French whore that taught Evie how to dance when she was six.

Tommy first saw Evie when she was in his stable trying to pet his horses. He fell in love with her right there. When she saw where she lived, he took her home-no questions asked. Her adoption was easy. He paid Cindy ten pounds and gave her a ferry ticket to Amsterdam. She signed the papers and Evie was his.

Tommy teaches her one word in Romani every day.

Tommy's favorite photo of her is her first school portrait when she was 8 years old. She has a wide smile. That morning the photo was taken, she lost her second front tooth.

Evie doesn't know her actual birthday, but it's estimated early-mid October.

Evie's gotcha day is September 3rd, 1918.

Evie always looked young for her age. She never reached above 5ft. and her face stayed babyish until middle-aged. However, she was always developed which made her very self-conscious. When she was 14, there was an older man who made a comment to Tommy(not aware that he was her father) in regards to Evie's body. Tommy silently looked at him before punching him.

Mother Superior(Catholic school headmistress) called Tommy once when Evie was 13 to talk about her school blouses. They fit fine and covered her, but she just had more breasts than the other girls. She told Tommy it would be wise and more comfortable if Evie wore a sweater vest over her blouse. "It would be more comfortable for the male teachers." Tommy responded, "if you are worried about an adult male being distracted by my 13 year old daughter's breasts, I advise you to hire new teachers."

She was sexually assaulted by a group of older boys when she was fifteen. She never told Tommy, but she told Finn and Isaiah. Isaiah the next day went into their class while the teacher was teaching and beat the shit out of one.

[chicken-wayng]

If Rhaenyra was truly a Valyrian supremacist she wouldn’t have had three kids with Harwin Strong. Also her mother is half Andal just like her siblings.

She’s not a supremacist like Daemon but I do think she’s a narcissist, genuinely believing the world revolves around her. That’s what made the rift between her and Alicent inevitable imo, she expected Alicent to want to be nothing more than her dutiful lady in waiting for the rest of her life with no ambition or desire of her own.

Rhaenyra does mellows down when she’s older, mainly because Jace keeps calling out her bs but you can’t truly change who you are. Even in 2x03 although she desperate for peace a part of her was still expecting Team Green to simply give up rather compromising because the idea of either her or Jace stepping down was incomprehensible.

So prev anon was right that 2x08 only worked because Alicent has degraded herself back to her bare bones, she’s exactly how Rhaenyra wanted her to be 20 years ago: the dutiful handmaiden who will wait on Rhaenyra and her sons, no wants of her own.

I disagree. I don't think Nyra sleeping with Harwin (+ having his children) is enough evidence that she wasn't also a Targ supremacist. I grew up in Arkansas, where racism is still very much alive. Yet all of those racist fucks would still get down dirty with a black Mamacita because they're attracted to her (but just don't respect/view her as a person, which a lot of Arkansans don't see women as to begin with). So it is possible to mess around with someone and literally have not a drop of respect for them. Also - still from what I've seen in Arkansas - it's possible to have a mixed heritage and be racist towards part of it and prefer the other more. In MY OPINION, what I observe from Nyra is similar to this. I especially think after she marries Daemon it becomes worse. I think her Targ Supremacy and Bastardphobia run hand in hand (her bastards are okay because they're Targaryen/her's while others are a sin, type of mindset). Also doesn't she say to Laenor that each time she had hoped they were his? So she hoped she was carrying his children not Harwin's, is what I gleaned from that line (also I'm thinking 3 way but that's a different post). However I do understand what you're saying and I don't believe it's like full racism but more of a casual racism, like I don't think she's fully aware of it.

I do agree that the rift between Nyra and Allie is because of both of their mindsets and I do think Nyra never thought about Alicent's future more than how it would connect to her's. I truly do think if she did think about it she did think Allie was always going to be her's in some way, probably never marrying so Rhaenyra could spend her time with her whenever. I also think that Alicent knew this and that's why she stripped herself of her titles/colors to see Nyra in 2×8. She wanted Nyra to see her as the human she is but seeing that confirmed to Nyra her own supremacy.

Also I absolutely love how they show us Jace confronting Nyra. It reminds me a lot of confronting my mom. My mom has 3 bastards (myself being the most awesome) and she's also racist. It's out of her love for me that she's starting to unlearn a lot of toxic behavior that she's realizing came from her dad. I see a lot of Nyra in this, however Nyra doesn't have a child who believes love is why we were put on this earth and we are all a part of a huge puzzle that only forms it's picture when we share our stories. Plus she's in a world so dominated by the patriarchy even as Queen she has no fucking say. Jace is trying but unable to properly verbalize it cuz he's still a child (say what you want, until someone is 20 I don't fully count them as an adult, plus Jace is like 17 when he dies, right?) and has so much weight put on him. Plus terms like "bastardphobia" aren't a thing, it's just the norm.

Thanksya for sharing your opinion and allowing me to do so as well!! I hope you're having a good day💜

[haesunlover]

long to be home. (chapter one)

pairing: huang renjun x female!reader

series genre: fluff, angst, suggestive, eventual smut

word count: 4.8k

chapter warnings: fluff, angst, slightly suggestive, talks of smoking, daddy issues, english dialogue is in italics, korean dialogue is normal, renjun is so hot it makes me sad, i want a renjun in my life, mentions of stealing cars, swearing.

a/n: ahh, i'm so sorry for taking so long to update! i've had this in my drafts for a while but i had a (very expensive) family emergency hence my long absence. but i'm back now and hopefully updating more often! please enjoy.

renjun had a concentrated look on his face as he fixed your cap and mask, "remember, my love. we need to be extremely discreet. no mask or hat removals unless absolutely necessary. at least until we reach the flight lounge."

you nodded your head, leg shaking up and down in the car as it pulls up to the airport drop off zone. the anxiety is really start to bubble up at this point. renjun can instantly tell and grabbed onto your hand that was in your lap, giving a quick squeeze for assurance.

the driver put the car into park and jumped out of the car to help unload yours and renjun's bags. the two of you exited the car, seeing that there was barely anyone around which instantly put half your mind at ease. renjun made his way from his side of the car towards you on the path, grabbing his bags. "you ready?" he asked.

you grabbed your bags as well, letting out a sigh. "as ready as i'll ever be."

the jets roared to life as the plane began to take off the incheon runway. the loving boyfriend renjun is, booked first class tickets for the two of you, so you could feel more relaxed about the upcoming few days. thankfully, the plane was a quiet one with only about ten other passengers on the 3am flight. 

as the plane began to ascend, renjun turned to you in the daybed the two of you were sharing. "alright, let's go over the plan again. your friend picks us up, takes us to the hotel, we get checked in and then.." renjun trailed off, waiting for you to finish his sentence.

"we get dressed and go surprise my mum."

"wait, she doesn't know you're coming?" renjun asked surprised. "i thought everyone would know you're coming."

"i thought i'd be nice to surprise her! i haven't seen her in nearly two years." you said, pouty.

renjun laughed, throwing his head back. "what if she's not home?" he asked, still laughing.

you thought about it for a second, "then i'll just let myself in."

he kept laughing, just a lot softer this time. "baby, how are you supposed to let yourself in?"

you hold up your index finger to his lips over his mask, giving him an playful annoyed look. "it doesn't matter. we'll figure something out."

renjun nodded, grabbing your wrist and pulling it down onto the pillow where your heads were resting. "alright. and.. have you spoken to your father about coming?"

your face dropped at his question. "uh, no not yet. i'm honestly not sure if i want to see him." you mumbled, recalling the memories of your father in the last year of being in australia. as if watching your already broken family fall apart even more wasn't bad enough, your father turned into a man you didn't even recognise anymore. he turned from an emotionally unavailable father into a drunk, drugged up angry narcissist. 

your boyfriend nodded, putting his arms under his head. he just stared, waiting for you to continue at your own pace. "i vowed never to see him again but.. at the same time i want closure? i absolutely resent him. i bet you, we could go to any place in australia and he would've ruined it for me somehow. he's done that much damage." you resumed.

a sigh left renjun's lips as his hand comes up to rub circles onto your waist. "i understand. have your siblings seen him since everything went down?" he asked.

"i don't think so." you replied.

"that's alright. you guys do what you have to do."

"ugh, i love how supportive you are. no matter what. i love you so much." you sighed, wrapping your arms around his head and neck, pulling him to your chest. he reciprocated the hug, nuzzling into your chest. 

"is there anything i need to know about your family before i meet them? it'll be the first time. please give me a run down on them so i don't mess up. saying a quick hi on the phone is very different than actually meeting them." he mumbled into your top.

you pulled away, "oh baby, you might wanna sit up for this. it's a lot."

he sat up on the daybed, following your actions. "alright i'm ready."

"my mum, sooyoung, she is.. pretty much me. we have the same personalities. please don't go into shock about how we treat each other. it's just how we roll."

renjun nodded intently.

"my step dad, david, is australian. i've only met him once when they came to visit before me and you even met. he's super lovely. he treats mum well so that's all that matters. there is one problem though. he only speaks english."

your boyfriend ran his hands over his face, groaning. "shit, i'm not confident enough to have full conversations in english."

you leaned over, grabbing his hands away from his pretty face. "baby, trust me. you'll be fine. you speak english really well. if you get stuck, i'll be there to translate. or mum or my siblings." you assured him, giving the backs of his hands a quick kiss.

he let out a deep breath, nodding his head. "alright, tell me more about your siblings."

"well.. let me make it easy. think about pokemon. sunhi, my older sister, is the original, boring one. jae, my younger brother, is the next evolved one. kinda boring but also kinda fun. then i'm the most evolved because i think i'm the best sibling." you explained, hoping not to sound too crazy.

renjun stared at you confused, his mouth slightly agape. you mumbled a quick, 'what?' due to your confusion from his reaction. "did you really compare you and your siblings to pokemon?"

you nodded your head excitedly, "yeah! trust me, it'll make sense once you meet them. they will definitely torment you for the first few hours so just brace yourself for it. they would just want to approve of you. i also have two stepsisters but i've never met them personally. all i know is that they like dolls and kpop."

your boyfriend sighed, eyes flicking around the place as he mumbles to himself, trying to absorb all of the info. "okay, i think i got it. i just hope they like me." he pouted, feeling a bit nervous himself. 

"oh my baby, come here." you said, pulling him into a quick hug. "you'll be fine."

"they know i'm an idol, right?"

"uhm.."

"right?"

after clearing customs and baggage claim, you and renjun walk into the waiting area of the international arrivals lounge at the airport. the sun was starting to set as the time was around 5pm. the lounge was packed and loud with people sitting and standing all over the place.

"shit." you whisper under your breath, the mask helping to muffle the sound. "can you see lia?" you asked, pushing the trolley away from the main door to try and have a better look for her. all of a sudden, you hear a squeal and see a bright green poster wave in the air.

"found her." renjun laughed, walking towards the sign. finally lia emerged from the sea of people with a bright smile on her face. she comes running to you, to which you embrace her in a big hug. her giggles vibrate on your chest before the two of you pulled away.

"hi guys! welcome to australia." she exclaimed excitedly, showing off the sign. you and renjun inspected it before you gasped and quickly snatched it out of her hands. renjun tried to grab it off you, wanting to have another look.

"please, i wanna see the photos!" renjun argued playfully before you finally gave up and let him look at the sign again. glued onto the sign was big, bold letters reading 'welcome home' along with photos of you and lia from the two of you were in high school, many years ago.

"lia.. you are off to a bad start." you sighed with your face turning extremely red.

"y/n, you were so cute with your little glasses and high ponytail!" renjun cooed, rolling the poster up and putting it with your luggage. "hi lia, i'm renjun. it's so lovely to finally meet you in person." he formally introduced, holding his hand out for lia to shake.

"oh renjun, as long as you treat y/n well then there is no need for formalities." she smiled, pushing his hand away and pulling him into a hug instead. renjun sighed and hugged her back, happy that he's already got the approval of someone important. "besides, you've heard so many of mine and y/n's in depth and gross stories over the phone that i think it'll be weird for you to be so formal."

renjun pulled back from the hug, nodding his head with an embarrassed look plastered on his face, "yeah, i think you're probably right about that."

"should we get this show on the road?" lia asked, waving her car keys. 

"oh shit. renjun, did we pack any helmets? we'll need them with her driving." you groaned.

"hey!"

after getting checked in and ready at the hotel, the three of you piled into the car and began your adventure to your mum's house. music hummed softly in the background as stared at the streets passing by. 

"are you ready to meet them, renjun?" lia asked, peering at your boyfriend through the rearview mirror. you looked over your shoulder for renjun's response.

he let out a shaky breath, nodding his head slowly. "i think so. it's my first real relationship so i've never had to meet anyone's parents before."

you reached your hand back, placing it onto his knee and giving it a gentle caress. "you'll be fine, baby. just be yourself."

he smiled gratefully, placing his hand on top of yours. "do i look okay? first impressions are vital."

you scanned over his outfit quickly, taking in the black trousers and green blouse unbuttoned slightly. "you look amazing in anything, renjun. it makes me so envious." you sighed, turning back around to face the front. "do i look okay?"

lia shakes her head, laughing at herself. "you look like shit."

you quickly punched her arm, "shut up."

she squeals at the sudden attack, still laughing. "i'm kidding dude. you look cute." you glance down at yourself, hoping the blue, floral wrap dress was appropriate enough for the upcoming reunion.

"i hope so."

"why are you so nervous?" lia asked, finally starting to calm down.

"it's just so weird to be back. what if it's awkward? i left everything behind. besides being anxious about that, i feel like i've gone back to when i lived here and i'm the helpless teen girl who had no idea how to deal with any of her shit." you sighed, throwing your head back into the seat.

lia hummed, understanding your point. "it makes sense. i can't exactly comment about how you're feeling, well, because it's your feelings. but your family won't be awkward around you, i promise you. you didn't leave them behind, you left to move forward in your life. they know that. but you also gotta remember the good stuff too."

you let out a flabbergasted laugh, "what good stuff? my head is clouded with all the shitty stuff."

"remember how we used to steal your sister's car? all the late night maccas runs we had? the adventures we'd have when you needed to get away? all the times we'd go to the beach after school instead of studying?" she asked.

"you stole your sister's car?" renjun exclaimed, leaning forward in between yours and lia's seats. 

you nodded, reminiscing the times. "you'd understand why we'd steal her car when you see it." the roads became more familiar and soon enough, the street you grew up came into view.

"you ready, y/n?" lia asked, turning down the street. you hummed, nodding once more with your best friend parking on the driveway.

"ready as i'll ever be." you sighed, getting out of the car.

the white two-storey house stood in front of you. everything was still the same. the trees surrounding the front of the house, the doormat, garden gnomes from your childhood tucked into the maintained gardens, the single frangipani tree leading the way to the back of the house.

everything was still the same except now when you look at the house you once loved and called home, an uncomfortable feeling sat in your chest. 

[flashback to 2018]

"i'm not fucking doing this." you mumbled, grabbing the clothes inside the wardrobe and throwing them roughly into the suitcase laid out on the bedroom floor.

"y/n.. what are you doing?" jae peeked into the room, concerned plastered all over his face. your older sister, sunhi, standing behind him with a knowing look. 

you laughed tiredly, "i'm leaving. i'm not staying one moment more. they're arguing again. i can't stand it any longer."

sunhi lightly nudged jae out of the way, moving towards your shaking figure. mascara stained your cheeks from all the tears that couldn't seem to stop. your breath began to go the same speed as your racing heart.

hyperventilating, sunhi grabbed onto your arms gently and led you to your bed. "slow down. breathe." she instructed, sitting next to you and holding you close.

after several moments, your breath finally slowed down. you looked to your older sister, silently asking her for help. "i.."

"you're leaving for good? it's about time." she finished your sentence, knowing her sister intuition would be right. 

you nodded, defeated. "i can't be here anymore. i can't stand being in this house much longer. i can't stand being near that asshole. i need to leave. "

the screaming finally stopped down stairs. it was silent for moments before the sound of the front door slammed, echoing through the house. the three of you sat on your bed, watching your father from the floor length windows. he kicked his car's tire and yelling out a profanity at the top of his lung before finally getting into his car and speeding off.

"mumma?" jae jumped off the bed and left the room momentarily. he called out, leaning over the stairs. "you here?"

a quiet exchange happened on the stairs between jae and your mother. soon enough, they both came into view with jae's arms holding onto her. the colour drained from her face, seeing the scene of her daughters huddled together and a suitcase not too far away.

"you're leaving?" she asked, tears in her eyes. her eyes were already puffy, clearly emotional from the previous argument.

your eyes softened at the sight of her. "mum, i can't stay around him any longer. he treats us like absolute shit. i can't believe you only just realised what a fucking awful person he is. we've all been telling you for years."

she shook her head making her way to the bed. she sat next to you and pulled jae, her big baby, to sit upon her lap. "i know. he's gone for good. i promise."

a wave of emotions hit you. happiness, grief, anger, relief.. you fall back onto the mattress, all of your pent up feelings coming out in the form of loud, violent sobs. soon after, the other three joined laying down on the mattress, forming a cuddle pile with sniffles and cries coming from everyone.

minutes passed until the crying finally slowed down. sunhi cleared her throat, making everyone give her all the attention. "i think y/n should still go."

you shot up into a sitting position, staring at your sister as if she had grown another head. "he's gone so why would i need to leave now?"

everyone followed, sitting up as well. "y/n.. you have so much potential. you need to go, spread your wings. you can't be stuck here all your life. your passion and energy is so much bigger than anything you'll find here. go." sunhi continued sadly, giving a soft smile.

your eyes faltered from her face, down to your lap. you looked down in shame for even considering leaving after the past month that had just happened. the last month, filled with arguments, threats and tears which tore your family apart. "i can't go."

"why not?" your mum asked, shaking her head in confusion.

"mumma, he's gone now. i don't need to leave. i don't want to leave you alone."

she sighed, cupping your face. "my baby, you need to go. i won't be alone. i'm fine. my strength is you guys. your happiness is my happiness. you've been talking about going to korea for ages. so go there. find yourself. if it doesn't work out, then come home. we've always got a place for you. but i know it'll work it so please just go. for me.." 

you looked into her eyes, tears brimming them once more. you had to do it, not only for yourself but for her too.

a hand brushed against your back, snapping out of your daze. "you okay?" renjun asked quietly as you turned to look at him. 

you flashed him a tight lipped smile, nodding your head. "yeah, i was just thinking."

"be excited. you get to see your family for the first time in years!" lia gushed, coming on the other side of you. you couldn't help but smile at your best friend's optimism.

nodding your head and taking a deep breath, "let's go."

the three of you moved towards the front door with you opening at softly as possible. as you ventured into the house, you spot your mother hunched over in the kitchen with her back turned to you. a smile crept onto your face as the aroma of vanilla and butterscotch wafted through hall.

seeing her made all thoughts of worry and anxiousness fade away. finally reaching the kitchen, you placed your chin onto your mum's shoulder. "smells good, mumma." you smiled.

her head snaps to look at you with shock written all over her face. she screamed, dropping the mixing spoon into the bowl causing a loud clatter. she throws her arms around your neck, jumping up and down excitedly. "my baby!" she exclaimed still jumping.

by the time the two of you parted, tears filled both of your eyes. "what are you doing here?" she asked, cupping your face and scanning over your face. "goodness, you've grown so much."

a laugh fell from your lips, "mum, it's been two years. i haven't changed that much. i'm here to see you guys. we had a break and thought it was time to come home."

"we?" she asked, tilting her head in confusion. your mum looks over your shoulder to see renjun. a gasp fell from her lips as she rushes over to greet your boyfriend properly for the first time. renjun bowed down respectfully, staying like that for a few seconds. 

your mother grabs his elbows, making him stand back up before embracing him tightly into a motherly hug. you wiped away a stray tear that sneakily fell out. your heart fluttered at the sight of two of the most important people to you together. 

the two exchanged quiet words that you couldn't quite hear but that didn't matter as you saw jae descend from the stairs, "y/n?" he asked confused.

he came into the kitchen, trying to process the fact that you are standing in the same room as him for the first time in years. you stared at him in shock. he finally grew into his face and body. the cute little boy you grew up with was now a tall, handsome man. the curls that he used to try and gel down as a kid now fell nicely around his head. tattoos lined over one of his arms and he clearly found his style.

"jae? holy shit, you've grown up so well!" you exclaimed, pulling him into the biggest hug you could give. he reciprocated but with a hint of a hesitancy. he pulled back after a few seconds, still somewhat puzzled.

your little brother finally said something, "what the fuck are you doing here?"

everyone in the room, including yourself, laughed at his lack of a verbal filter. "i'm here to see you guys and also i need inspiration to keep writing my show."

he nodded his head, staring at you this time with happiness. he was never one to verbalise his love for anyone but his looks meant more than words. jae turned over to look at renjun who still stood with your mother with an arm wrapped around each other.

renjun's eyes widened and smile dropped as jae made his way towards him. the size difference between the two made you chuckled. your boyfriend stood up straight, trying to look the slightly bit bigger than he is but still jae towered over him.

jae scanned renjun up and down as if he was analysing him. your brother maintained a stoic face for a few more seconds before asking, "do you treat her well?" to which you boyfriend nodded straight away. "do you promise to keep taking care of her now and in your future?" and renjun nodded once more.

"i promise you. she means the world to me." renjun said with confidence now, a big smile on his face.

jae nodded his head, smiling at bit before extending his hand for renjun to shake. "then welcome to the family."

as the two exchanged greetings, the sliding door connecting the kitchen and patio opened. in came sunhi, david and two little girls covered in sweat and dirt.

"holy fuck, i'm sweating my tits off out there." sunhi sighed as she kicked off her shoes. she takes off her cap and throws it onto the table, smiling as she looks around at everyone. 

her eyes finally fall on you and her smile drops. it takes her a few seconds to properly register before she jumps into your arms. "geez sunhi, we're not little kids anymore. it's not easy to carry each other anymore." you wheezed as she clings all her limbs around you.

"suck it up." she whispered, holding on tighter.

"i missed you so much." you sighed, closing your eyes as you enjoy the feeling of being able to hold your older sister again.

after a few minutes, she finally lets go and stands for herself again. sunhi stares happily for a few seconds before patting your cheeks gently. "welcome home, little sis."

your stepfather, david, came over and gave a quick hug before gesturing to the girls next to you. "welcome back, y/n. this are my twin daughters, jade and mila."

you smiled, hugging each of the girls. "hi girls. i'm y/n. i'm sooyoung's daughter. it's lovely to finally meet you."

both of the girls smiled shyly before mila nudged jade. "is that your boyfriend over there?"  jade asked quietly as she pointed back to renjun.

"yes, it is." you smiled proudly. "would you like to meet him?"

the two girls nodded their heads as they moved to either side of you. as the three of you started to walk the short distance to renjun, mila spoke up. "he looks like a member from nct."

you brought your hand up to cover your mouth as both you and your boyfriend laughed in sync. renjun held back the rest of his laugh with an amused smile as he waved. "hi girls. it's so nice to meet you. i'm renjun. from nct."

jade and mila's jaws dropped, looking between you and renjun. "what the fu-"

"mila!"

"what the fudge?" the ten year old tried to cover her slip up. "are you really him? so that means you know mark lee?"

your boyfriend nodded, laughing. "he's my best friend."

"he's actually going to be here in a few days. so will all the members of nct dream." you said before turning to your mum and siblings to continue, "mark, one of the members, is rina's boyfriend. she's coming too."

sunhi clapped her hands in excitement, "no way! i haven't seen rina in years. i fucking miss her so much."

rina was practically apart of the furniture when she lived in australia. on school mornings, she was there before you even woke up and was with you until it was time for her to return back to her house. even on days when you weren't home, rina still made sure to come see your family.

"i'll need to make a lot more food. when are they coming? we'll have a party! to celebrate you coming back home and to welcome the newcomers to our family." your mother gushed excitedly.

"they'll be here in two days." lia said, coming into the kitchen.

jae shook his head in confusion, "where did you come from?"

"oh, i was filming the little reunion." she smiled, waving her phone. "hi everyone, i'm here too."

nobody was really surprised as she was there often to check up on your family for you. "we'll have a barbie. i'll go to the shops tomorrow." your mother started rambling as she walked to the whiteboard on the fridge and jotting down what she wants to make.

"alright, mumma. let me know what time tomorrow and i'll go with you. in the meantime, i'm gonna go show renjun around." you excused the two of you, sliding your hand into renjun's.

the two of you made your way to the front of house, back to the front door. you go through the hall, showing all the rooms he'd need to know. "my room was upstairs. should we go have a look?" 

renjun let out a hum in affirmation, following you up the stairs. "baby, your house is huge."

"i know right. it felt like a mansion when i was little. my room was just up here." you smiled as you turned right at the stairs. you halted, seeing the wooden letters you painted and stuck on the door when you were seven. you pushed down the handle, opening the door. 

everything was the same. the bedsheets, the posters and photos on the wall, the desk and piano, the reading nook. everything.

you stood still, eyebrows furrowed together. "they left everything the same. from the day i left. i thought they at least would've changed it into a storage room or something else." you muttered as you entered the room.

renjun walked closer the photo wall, inspecting each photo. "is that you, lia and rina?" he asked, smiling brightly and pointing to a photobooth strip taken while ditching school one day. you walked closer to him, leaning your head on his shoulder. you hummed softly, reminiscing the memory. "you guys look so different now."

you laughed, looking at him. "years of braces, accutane and dancing does that to you. gosh, lia still has her baby face. i'm so envious. she doesn't age." you mutter as you inspected the photo closer.

"thank you." lia said, coming right next to you out of nowhere. both you and renjun jumped and stared at her in silence. she flashed an awkward smile, scratching the back of her neck. "did i interrupt something?"

renjun analysed her for a few seconds longer before saying, "now that i've actually met her in person, she reminds me of jisung. those two would get along great."

your head shot towards your boyfriend with wide eyes, "right?! i've been saying that to rina since i met jisung! they'd be a great couple."

"and that's my cue to go. i don't need a partner." she said, grabbing her keys out of her pocket. "sunhi said she'll take you guys back to the hotel later. i need to get back home. i've got an assignment due tonight. we'll talk later." lia gave a hug to each of you two but lingered for a bit longer while holding you.

"thank you so much for today, lia. message me when you get home safely. we'll plan something for tomorrow." you smiled, staring at her lovingly while cupping her face. 

she nodded and grabbed your hand, swinging it for a few seconds before leaving the room.

a sigh fell from your lips. "it's so weird to be back. i wonder.." you mumbled, opening the wardrobe and grabbing down a box filled memento from your childhood. digging around, you felt the small carton of the box you were looking for. you quickly pulled it out with a smirk plastered on your face, turning around to show renjun.

"cigarettes?" he asked, shocked.

you laughed, nodding your head. "rina and i would have a cheeky ciggy some nights."

"i didn't know you smoked." 

you cocked your head, "there's a lot of things you don't know about me."

he squinted his eyes, looking you up and down. "i don't know whether to be scared or turned on. or both?"

a loud laugh fell from your lips at the same time a knock came on your bedroom. "come in!"

the door handle pushed down and in came a familiar face you didn't expect to see, especially not today.

[weepinwriter]

"Behind those glares, I sense the weight of my misdeeds. Does my reflection in your eyes carry the burden of our unspoken discord?"

Name : Twenty

Age : They are in their mid twenties

Height : 5’6

Appearance : Twenty stands at 5’6” with elegant, beautiful features contrasting their hatred for you. They possess pale, silken white hair and crystalline eyes, with female Twenty having icy sky-blue eyes and male Twenty having fiery pinkish-red eyes. Female Twenty has longer hair that spills down her back, somehow kept meticulously straight despite her living conditions. Male Twenty has spikier hair trailing just past his nape often tied back in a half-ponytail.

Personality : Twenty is rather best described as timid but blunt. They're often honest, unfiltered and sarcastic, something people don't particularly like about them, but hey, they could care less if the whole world hated them, because they hate it just the same. They're often seen as narcissistic and petty, to the exact point that you can describe as a god complex. They hate being inferior and they hate it when they’re looked down upon or insulted despite them doing the same. Often described as an egomaniac, as stated above they have a deep hatred for being inferior so most of the time they’re manipulative and would occasionally bring people who make them feel inferior down, just so they can show that they are better or that they’re, in any way, superior. Don't get me wrong, Twenty is mature enough to not just fight with random people they don't like, but they’ll be judging them, ridiculing them from afar, or hell even making their life hell if they wanted. But despite that they're calm and collected most of the time, they'll only do so if they're provoked or feel threatened.

Background : The Subject’s traces can be found way back in the Libra District, where they resided in one of the more impoverished sectors. Subject has had a history of gang violence and been arrested multiple times on charges of scams and robbery. Not much is known about their background other than the fact that they have siblings stationed in the [DATA REDACTED] District. The Subject was sentenced to life in prison to Tartarus for allegedly conspiring with the terrorists responsible for the Infinity Plaza Terror attack five years ago.

Likes : Eye pleasing visuals, literature, good food (not the trash they're served in Tartarus), their self care routine

Dislikes : The scent of blood, overly curious people, irrational people, those who think they're better than them, the shitty canteen dog food (as they call it)

Pet peeves : gets annoyed by repetitive noises e.g. tapping or own clicking, when people eat with their mouths wide open

Trivia :

they have hyperthymesia or highly superior autobiographical memory (HSAM), a condition where one can remember even the smallest of life experiences in vivid detail

a slow eater; they like to savor their food so it usually takes like thirty minutes to get a simple meal for themself done.

sleepwalks a lot, can be found sitting by the edge of a balcony while asleep or by the canteens door, much to the night staffs dismay

is a firm believer of rock, paper, scissors. has never lost a game of rock paper scissors in their life

[iris-sistibly]

So we are officially half-way through this whole series, this isn't as intense as the previous episodes and I just generally enjoy seeing the Hong family having a taste of a simpler life.

📍Though I wanna slap Hae-in's mom so hard for still being such a bitch at the family who took them in when they have nowhere else to go, and the way that she resents Hae-in for having a REAL mother and daughter bond with Hyun-woo's mom instead of her? The audacity! Like she constantly treats Hae-in like crap, she didn't care when Hae-in fainted and worried more about her son being uncomfortable in their current situation, it's kinda confusing to me that she wonders why Hae-in never treated her the way she treats her MIL. But then again, she's a narcissist and a gaslighter, what am I expecting? The Baek family are much better people than me, because if I were them and someone disrespects MY family in my OWN home, I would have kicked her out this instant and let her sleep with the cows. Shout-out to Aunt Beom-ja for calling her out for the nth time.

Edit: I just remembered this now but I'm disappointed in Hae-in's dad. He cared so much about his daughter when they found out about the divorce, but couldn't even defend her when his wife was bad-mouthing her. I'm not expecting anything from mama's boy Soo-cheol, and I get that the irony of his character is him being the head of the family only by name but in reality, he doesn't have a spine, but he could have at least tried for Hae-in. Then again, the only people who defended Hae-in were Hyun-woo and Aunt Beom-ja. 🤷

📍Hae-in is basically the only person who can put Soo-cheol in his place, but she also has a soft spot for him. The way she almost patted her brother's back to comfort her and then stopped herself because she probably found it cheesy (I mean, they're asian siblings iykyk), but stays beside him without saying anything and just letting him cry was actually heartwarming.

📍Hae-in realizing that the mp3 player in Hyun-woo was actually hers and they've already met when they were teenagers 😭 how I wish Hae-in just told him straight that it was hers so poor Hyun-woo didn't have to make some random excuses so she wouldn't feel jealous or upset (he knows a jealous Hae-in is terrifying). Speaking of which, the text message scene was killing me, the way they messaged each other (even though they didn't actually send it) was so husband and wife coded y'all can't convince me that they're divorced. I wish they'd truly reconcile already and become lovey-dovey once more!

📍While it's pretty clear that they're still very much in-love with each other, part of me feels like Hae-in is pushing Hyun-woo away so she could free him from all of these burdens and when the inevitable happens, Hyun-woo could move on. While it's true that she's still hurting with everything that happened between them, I also sense some guilt in her, I mean she's not stupid, she knows what kind of crap he'd been through while living with her family. Meanwhile, Hyun-woo willingly stayed by her side, accompanying her in medical check-ups, helping her entire family to regain what had been stolen from them, protecting Hae-in without ever asking for anything in return (not even asking her to take him back) is just...ugh! It pains me, but their current situation will surely bring them closer to each other and I would love them to have that moment where they'd just talk about them.

📍I'm not surprised that Soo-cheol is not Geon-u's father, but aren't y'all curious to know who is? And I do have the feeling that Da-hye loves Soo-cheol for real, but she hasn't realized it yet. Still faithfully waiting for that day when she'll finally help the Hong family and get rid of that witch and her walking red flag of a son. Also, I feel like Grace would also testify once these scumbags go into trial, and I hope that happens soon.

📍Speaking of the devil's child, now that the show is slowly revealing the back story of Seul-hee and Eun-seong, basically they're saying that the latter is only acting under his mom's orders who by the way he resents so much but still works with her anyway? I thought he was cunning, turns out he's actually a stupid cunt. I mean, imagine going through all of this bullshit only for us to find out that his ultimate goal wasn't to take the entire Hong family's wealth like her greedy birth giver but to take Hae-in for himself as if she's some kind of a prize or trophy that he could get after ruining her and her entire family? If that's so, then he is really an idiot. If he thinks that Hae-in would desperately crawl to him because they're poor now then he can continue to dream. Hae-in would die without Hyun-woo but would rather die than be with Eun-seong. I do have the feeling that this bitch will use grandpa Hong to black mail/negotiate with the family and god forbid bring them back to the mansion (again, wtf), perhaps the only person who would be dumb enough to take the bait is probably Mama Hong because she's well...dumb too. And no, I don't care if he cares about Hae-in being sick, he's disgusting.

📍The thing that sets him and Hyun-woo apart is how they treat Hae-in, Eun-seong sees her as some kind of an object that he could snatch even if she's already married to someone else, he doesn't take no for an answer, has crossed her boundaries multiple times and only cares about getting her. While Hyun-woo treats Hae-in like an actual human being, yes he made mistakes and hurt Hae-in in the past but he sucked it all up and is constantly doing right by her. He respects her boundaries, never makes her feel uncomfortable, and cares about her well-being. Hyun-woo would be willing to let Hae-in go if it would make her happy, while Eun-seong would gladly make her miserable if it meant being with her. These two characters my friends, are love and selfishness defined.

📍Papa Baek and Papa Hong becoming drinking buddies will never not be cute.

[queenbeyondthewall]

Oh who am I kidding I think a lot about a lot of things because I am a massive nerd. HOWEVER two things I definitely think too much about are asoiaf and my favourite songwriter Andrew Hozier-Byrne, so what better subject for my inaugural post? The album Hozier, with all its themes of identity, toxic relationships, disillusionment, love, sex, and substance abuse, was unintentionally written for the Lannister siblings. Here's why.

Ladies first, so let me begin with our disastrous girl Cersei and the absolute banger that is Angel of Small Death and the Codeine Scene. This one starts off strong:

I watch the work of my kin, bold and boyful

Cersei’s one half of the famous incest ship from the famous incest series, of course, so we’re talking of her kin. Bold and boyful sounds to me how Cersei would describe Jaime in his youth - the picture of Westerosi masculinity and everything she could never be on account of her sex.

Toying somewhere between love and abuse

How better to describe Jaime and Cersei’s dynamic? Twisted, toxic, narcissistic, and yet the two definitely see their feelings for each other as love.

Freshly disowned in some frozen devotion

To me, this lyric can be generally applied to all three of the Lannister siblings and their relationship with their father. Tywin has disowned them all in some manner - Cersei for being a woman, Tyrion for being a dwarf, and Jaime for his refusal to forsake his position as a Kingsguard. Cersei, however, is the only one of the three who has not been completely disillusioned of her devotion to the man - a primary motivation throughout feast is an aspiration to live up to him and prove herself as his heir. 

With her sweetened breath, and her tongue so mean She's the angel of small death and the codeine scene With her straw-blonde hair, her arms hard and lean She's the angel of small death and the codeine scene

The whole of the chorus couldn’t be more Cersei - Jaime’s continually calling her his “sweet sister,” she has a famously mean mind and sharp tongue, and of course that characteristically Lannister blonde hair and beauty. “Small death and the codeine scene” is Hozier-speak for sex and substance abuse, which are both things that Cersei defines herself and her relationships by. I can’t help but think of the Sansa POV Blackwater chapters, where Cersei is getting drunk and “teaching” her a horrifying lesson about the power of female sexuality.

All fetor and fertile, it’s bloody and raw but I swear it is sweet

Fetor like the rot that Cersei inherits from Tywin’s legacy and that permeates his corpse at the funeral, and fertile like the one value she has as a queen in Westeros. Her blazing rise to power after Tywin’s death is built on cruelty and avarice - it’s also what Cersei craves beyond anything else.

I’ll wander the concrete  Wonder if better now, having survived

Coming down from her blaze of glory, of course, is the horror of her walk of shame. Cersei intended to get through it on pride alone, but where we left her POV in feast was with her horrible realisation of the intense vulnerability of her exposure to the public. She survived it, however, and with the hints in the Kevan epilogue of her scheming at full force once again… damn it George we need to see winds!

[poetrysings]

— spotted in the streets of brooklyn, it’s ALEXANDER WARREN. they have lived in the city for ON-AND-OFF SIXTEEN YEARS, working as an AUTHOR. the 34 year old will probably be seen around GREEN POINT a lot, seeing as that’s where they live. people say they can be a bit OBSTINATE and RETICENT, but friends know them to be TRUSTWORTHY and GENTLE. you know for sure you’ve found them when you’ve come across UGLY SWEATERS, THE CRACKLING OF A CAMPFIRE ACCOMPANIED BY A GUITAR, THE FEELING OF RETURNING HOME AFTER A LONG TRIP. welcome to brooklyn, it’s been waiting for you! 

spotify pinterest musings visage

BASICS

full name: noah alexander warren

nickname: alex

age/date of birth: 34 / may 8th, 1989

zodiac sign: taurus ☼ libra ☾ cancer ↑

gender identity: cis man (he/him)

hometown: hermosa beach, california

current location: brooklyn, new york

time in town: sixteen years

sexual orientation: demisexual

occupation: author, former political advisor

PERSONALITY

labels: the phoenix, the benefactor, the mediator

positive traits: gentle , reliable , caring , trustworthy , allocentric , dutiful

negative traits: obstinate , reticent , stubborn , secretive , deceitful

hobbies: cooking, reading, musical theatre, camping, sports, volunteering

languages spoken: english, french, hebrew, latin

instruments played: guitar, piano

favorite color: blue, red, green

favorite food: anything, but specially pies (he has memories attached to pies)

allergies: n/a

APPEARANCE

height: 5'9

distinguished characteristics: multiple scars throughout his body; a blink and you'll miss it type of situation. some are from childhood and barely noticeable if you look closely whilst the most prominent ones are around 4 years old, situated in his ribs. there is no itemized list yet, but it is something he is acutely aware of.

tattoos: a phoenix on his back, a minimalist tattoo from the song ‘from eden’ by hozier where the word idealism sits in a small prison and it’s located on his left ribcage, the date of his mom’s passing and his sibling’s disappearance on his chest, the phrase ‘when i was drowning, that’s where i could finally breathe’ on his right forearm. ( ref )

piercings: n/a

right or left-handed?: right-handed

RELATIONSHIPS

parents: robert warren (whereabouts unknown), alycia warren (nee: weiss, deceased)

sibling(s): a younger sibling (whereabouts unknown), possibly half siblings

pet(s): a four year old borador named pollux

BULLET POINTS

tw: drug use, abuse, death mention, panic attack mention

alycia grew up dreaming of becoming two things: a successful ballerina and the loving mother she herself never had. she worked day and night, running herself thin for years until she made it to the nyc ballet company as their prima ballerina at the impressive age of 24. it was that candor, passion and grace she exuded while on the stage that caught the attention of a young robert warren who, by some magnificent miracle happened to be on the crowd for alycia's very second presentation on stage. he decided to introduce himself and they hit it off right away, went out for a drink and nine months on the dot, alexander warren was born on hermosa beach, robert's hometown.

alex grew up in a broken household with a negligent, abusive, narcissistic father and a loving and caring but mentally ill mother who had sadly been drawn to the world of drug addiction by her very own husband, who made a living out of not only dealing but fabricating said drugs. it became obvious to alex at a very young age that he was on his own. despite all that, he had a pretty normal childhood (as normal as one can be with a parent who half of the time isn't there and whenever he is around, leaves you wishing he wasn't) up until he turned 6 and his younger sibling was born. alex adored him the moment he met him and bowed to protect him at all costs, the two became inseparable.

as years went by, issues within the warren household grew more evident and worrisome. alycia was at wit ends and robert only grew angrier to the point where neighbors, friends and teachers got involved and called the police. many times social services were called to make an investigation yet, nothing was ever found until one fateful day when alex was twelve and at school. child services came to visit and found alex' little sibling alone at home, playing with his father's tools. he was immediately taken away and they promised to be back for alexander however when they did, it was far too late. robert had cowardly ran away by himself the night before and alycia, scared they would take away her remaining child moved herself and alexander to san francisco

the two remaining members of the once warren family resided in san francisco for 4 years, alycia going as far as to starting up a plan to stay sober and take care of her kid and she could've sworn they would make it. things were starting to look up for the two of them until the day robert warren showed up to their home again, begging for their forgiveness and claiming he was ill. of course the two of them took him in and aided him best they could, at least until alex found the real reason he had come was because he needed money because he was being followed. alex kicked him out of the property after a huge fight for putting him and alycia in risk however it was far too late, the people looking for robert had already figured out where he had gone and one day, while alex was out at a party, someone came in and tried to take justice by their own hands, robing them and killing alycia who was simply waiting for her son to return home. alex spiraled for months on end, nowhere to go and completely alone in the world. after those months, alex dedicated the remaining time in high school picking himself back up, swearing he'd become someone his mother would be proud of

upon high school graduation, alex moved to new york when he was accepted into nyu's polisci department and once he graduated, he briefly decided to leave ny to worked twice as hard for a phd in the field in gwu while doing an internship for the governor of washington dc. for four years he worked tirelessly to be the best he could be in his position while seeking a higher education that could one day, lead him to have a brighter future in the field.

one night, while celebrating him obtaining his phd and a significant raise that would put him in control of the entire campaign of the new candidate for mayor, alexander had a meltdown. throughout the years working in the field, it hadn't occurred to him a job could make him unhappy until the day he was offered a permanent position in a campaign, a nudge that one day, he could be the one calling all the shots. he realized how much he despised the life he had led the past few years and without a second thought, quit his job and fled washington to return to the one place he always felt at home: brooklyn.

in ny, he worked as many odd jobs as he could do fend for himself and with the help of friends and loved ones, he got back on his feet again, enough to return to a long lost love of his: creative writing. every time alex wasn't working, he was writing, creating worlds he could run to when life got too overwhelming and one day, with the encouragement of a few friends who saw potential in his writing, he took his work to a friend who owned a publishing house, to see if they could see a future for him in the industry. the yes was immediate and although some edits were meant to be made, his friend offered to publish his work for him the minute the two agreed it was perfect.

his first novel, a fantasy based on an old story he had invented for his sibling many years ago, was published seventeen days before his thirtieth birthday after a year of editing old works and reshaping every writing he had done. the first few months were hard, made alexander truly wander if he had made the right choice and if his calling was really to write yet slowly and steadily demand for the book began to pick up and not even six months after it was published, it became a new york times best seller; surpassing everyone’s expectations for a book by a unknown writer. after the second edition of the novel, it became a moderate success, which earned alexander a new deal with the evergrowing publishing house for two more books, his friend offering him a partnership by giving him a part of the publishing house as part of his payment.

the second installment of the novel that came two years after the first became even bigger, selling out the day it was announced, two months before its release. fans and critics became eager to learn what the third would bring— whilst alexander had no idea what to respond, as writers block had taken yet another victim on this new author and ruined whatever idea he had put on paper.

as of now, he is still trying to breathe the world that brought him fame and renown into reality for one last installment with little to no success, while expanding his horizons to new genres he's eager to explore. he shares a lovely condo in green point with his roommate and pollux, his four year old dog.

WANTED CONNECTIONS

PEACE . ( plat? could be rom / any gender )

relationships are as complex as human beings. we are volatile, coarse by nature; and things only get harsher when emotional baggage/mental health issues are carried and tossed around. it’s a russian roulette half the time, loving and carrying for those around you, but oh how worth it it is when you can find someone who understands you even without speaking, someone who knows you and your inner demons and still sticks by your side. although nothing is perfect and there will never be peace, you can keep eachother warm.

I’LL BE THERE FOR YOU  . ( plat / any gender )

the cory to his shawn, the phoebe to his joey, the chandler to his joey. he is a very loving person all together and deems himself a friendly guy who cares about all the people in his life, however this person has a special place in his heart. they are his go-to whenever something goes wrong and they need help, they are one of those people he’d do anything for and, most importantly, they are one of the few people who really know him, beyond the smiles and good times. who know the darkness that lies deep within him, perhaps the person he trusts the most in the world.

EASE MY MIND / SO WILL I . ( plat / any gender )

there are people who, even without a single word, can bring light into your world by simply existing. whenever something goes wrong, when the world is about to crumble down— they become your go-to, the one safe place that can ease your soul in the darkest hour and you can only hope that you can do the very same for them.

WORSHIP   . ( rom / any gender )

being a hopeless romantic entails many things. shared with an overachiever personality and a passionate soul whose sole existance revolves around making other’s happy— and you get yourself a giver. conventional relationships are not something you can handle, for one reason or another. doesn’t mean that every lover is not especial and deserves to be worshipped, something you are devoted to.

GETAWAY CAR   . ( rom / any gender )

it was, in every sense of the word, a rebound. one had a broken heart after a failed engagement and the other had their reasons— but it was meant as simply that. it lasted way longer than anyone expected it to, and when it ended, it wasn’t exactly soundless. both parts knew it wouldn’t last; however they weren’t ready for how damaging the outcome would be.

KEEP DRIVING . ( plat / any gender )

’We held darkness in withheld clouds I would ask, “Should we just keep driving?”’ when things get hard, when everything is going downhill, these two simply count on eachother to get on a car and keep driving. snacks and meaningful conversations withheld at 90 miles an hour to no forseen destiny— it may be one of alex’s most honest relationships.

DAYDREAMING . ( rom / any gender )

it’s still casual and new— but it’s all he’s been daydreaming about. the night calls, the illicit visits, the joy of having something private and non-commital and the way even one message from them can turn his entire day upside down.

work friends. people in the literary world that know of him? perhaps a secret club where literary lovers gather around and exchange ideas over a few bottles of champagne and french pastries? perhaps even a few of his work?

HALF SIBLINGS (robert warren got AROUND and there is a chance he had multiple kids? who knows?)

friends FAMILY FRIENDS, BAD INFLUENCES, good influences

family, maybe? cousins?

flings, one-side crushes, flirtationships, fwb, affairs, past lovers (however the relationship ended in good terms or bad, can be discussed?) the sky is the limit

[graysparrowao3]

WIP tag game

Yeah!! Let's go @lostinforestbound! Sharing that WIP! Thank you for the tag! I agree, these are so fun!

No pressure tags to pass along should you like to share anything my friends @lolliputian @lemonsrosesandlavender @demigoddessqueens @theycallmeratt

Gradually working on a fic called 'What if Rolan was a Companion... and Everything Went Wrong'.

Here's 2 separate WIP extracts from the future of that fic. Warning, it's not a happy time. You might even say... everything went wrong...

A WIP scene from The Last Light Inn following Rolan using a tadpole in a misguided attempt to gain power in order to help his siblings:

“This is fucked!” Lia screamed, “Quit being an insufferable narcissist for half a second and you’d see it.”

Rolan returned the fire, burning out of control.

“I saved you!” He shouted, “But, please, continue your sanctimonious critique. Sit by and watch as I throw myself on every blade. I should be used to your ungratefulness by now.”

“Fuck you,” tears trying to extinguish the flames in her eyes, “you stupid, selfish bastard.”

Cal gasped. She didn’t say that, please, dear Gods, please – she didn’t say that.

Tav watched Rolan’s nails digging into the skin of his fists.

“She doesn’t mean it, Rolan.” Cal insisted, desperate.

“Hells I don’t.” Lia snapped.

But she didn’t. The fire was too hot. And once the embers cooled, of every bicker and heated moment, she’d regret this one the most. By the grace and ire of every God, would she regret it.

A WIP scene from Ramazith's Tower where we see some of the consequences of that action:

“Cal,” Rolan warned, “release me.”

“Please, Rolan,” Cal’s cheeks were flush and damp, “I didn’t mean it. I know she always sounds like she does, but Lia didn’t mean it either.”

“I command you to take your hands off me.” Rolan demanded, arms straining against Cal’s grasp on him, the desperateness of an embrace they’d never shared.

“I know you didn’t mean it either, Rolan.” Cal gasped, “Any of it.”

He held tightly onto Rolan’s robes, grasping fabric between his fingers.

“Cal,” Rolan’s voice was sharp, broken, his fingers twitched, unwilling, “let go of me.”

Cal watched the arcane energy crackle between Rolan’s hands and his chest.

“It’s okay, Rolan,” Cal said, holding tighter, tears unashamed on his cheeks, “I know you don’t mean it.”

He would always swear that in that moment he saw something in his big brother’s eyes. A raw horror howling in unheard resistance, violent agony of a soul violated, inconsolable. The spell unleashed.

“Detono!”