#narcicissm

[khaliarart]

Sometimes i feel like Anno has these moments where hes not totally awful and it gives me mixed feelings on him. On one hand, he's pratically irredeemable on many levels. On the other hand, seeing those few moments where he's seemingly (sorta) kind makes it really hard to totally dislike him. (Though i wouldn't either way. I think he's a wonderful character and i love his design!) Does he have an actual reason for being this way or is he just trying to be manipulative?

Secondary question, does Anno like his coffee a specific way? I feel like he'd like it either really simply or be an employees worst nightmare.

(I'm not sure if you mind too much but my apologies for having so many questions! I think your ocs are extremely interesting and love the story you've got for them thus far. I find myself just wanting to learn everything about them!)

Don‘t fall for his shit like the Irkens do. You gotta keep hating him/j

He just has a laundry list of character flaws. Narcicissm, compulsion to control others, lack of empathy and general low regard for Irken (drone) lifes. You name it.

And he will drink anything with caffeine. He’ll even take his coffee from the most ramshackled gas station in the universe and down it without hesitation. Fucking weirdo.

[reckless-glitch]

Why don't you talk about narcicissm anymore? Did the trend attention wear off?

I still talk about it when it comes up. This might surprise you but I have other things going on in my life outside of my diagnosis.

And my outspokenness about npd has nothing to do with trends it has always been out of a desire for people like me to be treated like the human beings we are instead of like some larger than life supervillains from which all evil springs

[gaymom]

the fact u immediately throw people with low empathy under the bus is super funny also Lol. god forbid people with npd be wary of people who use narcicissm as an insult as if the word isnt intrinsically tied to the disorder now. we look up resources and are constantly fucking bombarded with articles telling us we're abusive monsters for having npd. have a little decency bro.

yeah you can't pretend that all discussions of narcissism are implicitly tied to the disorder. Narcissist isnt just an insult, although the traits associated with it are definitely negative under a non-individualistic value system. Narcissist is also a word that has been used by people far before NPD was researched and defined in the dsm. The word describes someone with low empathy and a specific affect to their ego that is self focused and disregarding of others. The FACT is that the vast majority of individuals with narcissistic traits DO NOT ACKNOWLEDGE that they have narcissistic traits that negatively impact those close to them NOR DO THEY PURSUE MEDICAL SUPPORT OR DIAGNOSIS FOR IT. Which is exactly why I haven't talked about people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Often those who find nothing wrong with taking advantage of others end up finding communities/workplaces where their disregard for others is valued, and that's pretty easy in a capitalist society where many people look up to those with narcissistic traits for the power they have over other people. There are plenty of abuse survivors who have experienced narcissists like Amber Heard not take accountability and take their smear campaigns to the public stage and still successfully take advantage of the biases of large populations of people who form impressions off of lies.

So maybe take a look at your reactivity to people talking about this topic and why you felt the need to send me this, because it's disregarding the subject of my posts and is disconnected from the material reality of narcissistic traits and their effect on social systems. But I'm guessing this is a personal feeling of insecurity on your part that you identify with the narcissists I'm talking about because instead of recognizing I'm talking about abusive narcissists who don't take accountability and don't seek help and take lies and cruelty too far, YOU IDENTIFY with the narcs Im referencing and send me this pity party about how hard it is for you to hear how angry people talk after being hurt by people who let your condition go unchecked. Low empathy is not a sub-human trait, I dont think people without empathy are monsters. But I KNOW some of those people dismiss the reality of their low empathy and the damage they do BECAUSE of their narcissism. So maybe, be less wary of people talking about the damage of narcissism and be more wary of how your biases can lead you to being out of touch.

[miiju86]

Let them speak for themselves....

(Btw: that woman doesn't even "disagree with them". We do not know. She's just doing her job. She even keeps these male-supremacists safe. But still - her sheer existence as a woman makes her a target for them, for their hate, their narcicissm, their (sexual) colonialism & other "phantasies" of power and dehumanization. Let that sit for a bit.)

there was a trans march in mexico city days ago where this man, after lifting his skirt and flashing his underwear, yelled "hope your daughter gets raped, b*tch!" at a female cop.

TRAs and their obsession with sending rape threats to anyone that dares to disagree with them... nothing new.

[renewyourheart]

Yes he looked at your IG story. No, this doesn’t mean they have the intention, capacity or ability to build a relationship with you.⁣ ⁣ Maybe they’re avoidant, maybe they’re dating other people, maybe they’re busy, maybe it’s Maybelline! The point is - it doesn’t matter! ⁣ ⁣ 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗼𝗻 𝗱𝗼𝗲𝘀��’𝘁 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲.⁣ ⁣ Being caught up in analyzing the why just distracts you from moving on. Look at the data that’s being presented to you. And if there is any “why” to be asked, ask why you are you allowing someone to treat in a way that’s below your standards.⁣ ⁣ Stop waiting to be chosen and start actively choosing. If someone can’t make plans to see you or communicate like a grown up, then guess what - they don’t get a rose!⁣ ⁣ Standards only scare off the people that aren’t meant for you. So start choosing yourself and stop giving discounts for those who aren’t worth your time. ⁣ ⁣ ⁣ ⁣ ⁣ ⁣ ⁣ ⁣ #anxiouslyattached #narcicissm #relationshipquote #unavailablemen #loveavoidant #avoidantlyattached #getoverhim #anxiousattachment #estherperel #brenebrown #datingexpert #lovebombing #lovebomb #vancouverinfluencer #relationshipexpert #breakupexpert #breakuptips #scienceofattraction #breakupbootcamp #narcissist #narcissisticabuse #datingexpert (at New York City, N.Y.) https://www.instagram.com/p/CWBP0B5rLMD/?utm_medium=tumblr

[zaidib]

The 'Trump Pose', signaling all the hallmarks of Narcissism:

1. Has a grandiose sense of self-importance. 2. Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love. 3. Believes that he or she is "special" and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions). 4. Requires excessive admiration [regularly fishes for compliments, and is highly susceptible to flattery]. 5. Has a sense of entitlement. 6. Is interpersonally exploitative. 7. Lacks empathy: is unwilling [or, I would add, unable] to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others. 8. Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her. 9. Shows arrogant, haughty [rude and abusive] behaviors or attitudes.

[sarcasticcynic]

I probably have a very good relationship with Kim Jong Un.

Donald Trump

[r3adingr00m]

How to Manage a Narcissist

by Manfred F. R. Kets de Vries

May 10, 2017

HBR

George, a senior executive of a large internet provider, was a participant in one of my leadership development programs. Although a very talented individual, he was seen as a nuisance within the group. He tended to monopolize the conversation, whatever the topic. All agreed that he was not a good listener. Whenever someone else spoke, he would quickly become impatient and try to change the topic to something closer to his interests. And he had a habit of devaluing others’ work while overemphasizing his own successes. It was quite clear to the other participants that George viewed most people as far below his standards. It wasn’t surprising that most of group did not like George and found it very difficult to deal with him.

Often, it seems that having a narcissistic disposition — grandiose, self-promoting, larger than life — is a prerequisite for reaching the higher organizational echelons. Narcissistic people can be charismatic and manipulative, which helps them get ahead. But although their drive and ambitions can be effective in moving organizations forward, excessive narcissistic behavior can create havoc and lead to organizational breakdown. Envious as they are, narcissistic people always strive to win, whatever the costs. They see themselves as “special,” and only associate with other “special” or high-status people.

Furthermore, narcissistic individuals have a strong sense of entitlement. When they don’t receive the special treatment that they believe they deserve, they become very impatient or get quite angry. Given their self-serving mindset, it’s difficult for them to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others. Empathy doesn’t come naturally. As narcissists are quite thin-skinned, they have difficulty handling criticism; they very quickly feel hurt, overreact, and get defensive. Although they may give off an impression of having high self-esteem, the opposite is often the case. Underneath the confident exterior, they are troubled by a deep sense of insecurity. Their bravado is a heroic effort to compensate for their profound vulnerability. They treat positive attention as a kind of painkiller.

This all creates challenges for those who would manage narcissistic individuals. Making matters worse, narcissists refuse to acknowledge that they have a problem. Why would they ask for help, when they think that they are better than anybody else? How can they learn from mistakes if they can’t admit that they’ve ever made one?

Psychiatrists have tried many forms of intervention with narcissistic individuals. All of them take time. Personality traits don’t change quickly, if at all. So what can managers do? From my experience running leadership workshops, I have learned some techniques that offer promising results. Here’s my advice.

Create a strong sense of team cohesion. A group setting makes dysfunctional acting out more noticeable, more controllable, more discussable, and therefore less acceptable. Peer pressure will push the narcissist to adapt to the group’s norms. Thus, it is the peers that will take on the role of “enforcers,” to encourage the narcissist to listen and empathize with others.

Use this strong team to promote peer feedback. For narcissists, it’s often less threatening to receive feedback from peers, rather than from a single person or leader. Of course, feedback from many people is harder to ignore than feedback from one person. If the dynamics of the group are facilitated effectively, the narcissist’s view of themselves will be revealed, mirrored, challenged, and can be modified.

Create a safe, somewhat playful space. This can become an environment where people with a narcissistic disposition learn to develop trust, explore boundaries, accept feedback, and increase self-awareness. In such a setting, the narcissist’s peers will be able to constructively confront problematic behavior while simultaneously offering a modicum of understanding.

Don’t confront the narcissist directly. Instead, support the team. Returning to George, the group facilitator was very careful not to confront him too forcefully when he acted inappropriately in the group leadership development sessions. When needed, the facilitator would empathize with George (showing surprise and hurt) as a result of the confrontations with and feedback given by his peers. At the same time, the facilitator empowered George’s peers not to accept his way of dominating the conversations, to interrupt him when he went on for too long, and thus to make him realize that he didn’t always need to be the smartest person in the room.

As time went by, George learned to empathize with others. As he practiced listening, he learned from their experiences. He discovered that constructive criticism from the others could be helpful, rather than devastating to his self-esteem. George eventually came to realize the inappropriateness of many of his expectations, and that the world didn’t revolve around him alone. He began to internalize some of the behavior patterns of the others, which, he discovered, were more effective ways of dealing with the challenges of life.

Of course, dealing with narcissists will always be a challenge, be it in a group setting or otherwise. Some of these people will not be able to tolerate the pressures from the group. They will not be able to deal with critical feedback from peers, and may decide to quit.

But a manager’s biggest worry should not be losing their narcissist; it should be that other team members will be the ones to resign, tired of the way narcissists need to be catered to. It’s hard to deal with a narcissist’s sense of entitlement, lack of empathy, and need to feel special. But if you can create a group dynamic that keeps those tendencies in check and that helps develop the self-awareness of everyone on your team, you’ll keep your best people — and get the best out of the rest.

[theoryofreligion]

of all the annoying ways in which i relate to will graham by the far the most annoying is that i know so deeply to my core if i had the same age & social proximity to hannibal i could also make him fall in love with me

[dei2dei]

Mooood. And while I am a shipper unlike OP, and I love people getting excited about him... He's really been reduced. Alcoholism problem, narcicissm, all of it is getting wiped away so he's the funny guy into movies and who cannot have a flaw.

Part of the reason I love him as a character IS his flaws, the traumas he endured, the struggles he had, that made him into an interesting person. Folks who haven't explored him in 9/X/11 are missing that and MK1 Johnny isn't the one I know and love.

mortal kombat 11 johnny or mortal kombat 1?

Definitely MK11 Johnny. That version was the sweet spot for me, lol. Dad bod (dorito shaped), older (has something to do with myself being older I'm sure dfghjkl like hey, they ain't 12 nor do they look it!!!), a bit more character compared to his MK1 variant, but that's a personal opinion ofc. I'm glad they kept his nose, I'd been so disappointed if they had changed it. For me, it felt like he was his own person without relying on another to make him stand out. It was just really nice to finally see my fav have his time. So yeah I was super excited and probably filled the tags up here on tumblr but not many were like they do with 1.

Yeah, I'm still gonna cling to every version, but I'm more *meh* with 1 because I wasn't expecting the fandom to erupt over him and granted, I was excited that more people were getting into Johnny Cage, but... I was also get kinda saddened that a good portion have reduced his character down to just shipping so I kinda just don't feel the need to interact all that much like I did in 11. No, I'm not saying anything bad towards shipping or shippers in general before someone without any reading comprehension comes for me.

Even though I'm not a shipper, I prefer Sonya x Johnny in MK11 and I kinda miss them as a pair. Maybe in the next installment it'll be a thing -- without something happening (≖︿≖✿) the ladies in MK seem to always get the shit treatment that's for sure and the fandom kinda contributes to that with the toxicity they spew out.

[suprchnk]

you know the last supper was really only the last supper for one of the 13 people there

[toffeeeswirls]

I think I will write erotic werewolf fiction. as a treat

[robotshavefeelingstoo]

I got this guy to delete his Quora account

Meet someone who was a bit too overwhelmed with his emotions. What does he do? He runs away from the platform to further indulge in his ideology. https://www.quora.com/Why-are-humans-the-only-mammals-who-have-to-wipe-after-defecating/answer/Johnnie-Lockett/comment/60409248?__filter__&__nsrc__=2&__snid3__=2370635155# (JustAnotherPerson) on Quora is me.  I’ll admit I was a bit hostile in my replies, but I wasn’t intending to persuade him and just wanted to see what he’d have to say. I can’t reply back to him either, since he closed the thread.  I found his “I’m leaving quora manifesto” on his closed profile.  I didn’t screenshot anymore, because I feel like this shows enough about his narcissistic way of thinking. Feel free to read it for yourself. Cheers.

[hexagr]

Notes on Narcissism

I’ve been reading Freud and Lacan’s theories on narcissism. But I also stumbled over some writings by Sandy Hotchkiss, whose position is that narcissism is a “personality flaw,” rather than a sexual perversion. I appreciate this framing, as it is a more modern and cognitive description.

She claims, rather precisely, that narcissists exhibit seven co-morbid qualities: shamelessness, magical thinking, arrogance, envy, entitlement, exploitation, and bad boundaries; each problem feeding the next.

The narcissist’s avoidance of reality and refusal to feel shame requires magical thinking. Thus, their distorted perception of the world shields them from reality, while arrogance generates envy. The narcissist has a stunted childlike psyche.

She goes on to claim that the true victims are the family, friends, and co-workers of the narcissist. But this is where I disagree with her. I think this is only partially true. The engine of narcissism makes much more sense if you invert this relationship. Rather, it is precisely the family, friends, and coworkers of narcissists that help enable the narcissist.

The family, friends, and coworkers can never tell the narcissist how childlike, naive, or infantile they may be. They may not know. The ordinary person is not thinking like an analyst. And narcissists themselves may even deliberately surround themselves with only extremely similar people, because while they may even be of adult age, they largely retain a childlike mindset and see only themselves in the world. Even in romantic situations. They might feel safest being in love with someone who is exactly like they are. There is a struggle to appreciate difference.

So any peers of the narcissist who are different must dance around them, so as to not cause disturbance. Peers may even feel obligated to show kindness, but not a sincere kindness. A sort of kindness so as to not disturb the narcissist’s fragile reality.

But this is a perverted kindness, intended to foster stagnation, rather than promote intellectual progress—inevitably dooming the subject to stay in a sort of dangerous comfort.

It's similar to what Lacan called jouissance—or a space of surplus enjoyment. And we should ask: how does this affect individual development and societies?

In this way, as Lacan described very well in his research, there is a very narcissistic dimension to love. Especially when we are driven by our unconscious—avoiding any discomfort, attempting to fill a void, and/or not allowing ourselves time to introspect about the ordeal. But there are tradeoffs. When we avoid or run from that which initially appears horrifying—we often in turn get trapped by the Symbolic representation of desire which exists in our mind—which is to say, in that mode of thinking, both our model of nature and desire itself lack conscious awareness and intellectual understanding. So it follows that sometimes when endeavoring to love, we might instead fall prey to emotion and shortsightedness, and instead deliver ourselves into folly and false comfort.

For Lacan, love is largely an imaginary phenomenon, although it has effects in the symbolic order. Love is autoerotic, and has a fundamentally narcissistic structure since "it's one's own ego that one loves in love, one's own ego made real on the imaginary level."

And to make matters worse, as researcher Sam Vaknin points out, those afflicted by narcicissm tend to take mental snapshots of others and then interact with the symbolic representation instead of the person, which makes devaluation inevitable because a mental snapshot is static, while human beings are dynamic.

Narcissism, in my opinion, can be observed in close relation to Freud’s pleasure-principle. Those who are unable to defer gratification—being primarily driven by blind desire for familiar pain or pleasure and thus falling prey to repetition compulsion—are often the same who develop variations of this sort of neurosis.

[themarionettequintet]

👏 casual reminder that if someone did you wrong and you were an adult and apologized for the wrong that you did, but they can't be mature enough to own up to their own mistake and decide to just never speak to you again, you're absolutely okay to drop it and never speak to them again!

That's their pride getting in the way of accepting responsibility for their actions and you owe no amount of time to a person who can't get over their own pride and narcicissm to acknowledge that they did wrong and will do better.

Bonus:

Being honest with someone isn't opening a conversation with an attack that's intended to hurt the person, followed by calling the person names etc. It's honest in the way you feel but not in the way that may be necessarily true of both sides, nor does it open the door to speak on even ground and find a resolution.

Don't tell someone you're honest if your version of honesty is a thinly veiled attack on the other person in an attempt to protect only yourself in the conversation.

YES, you can 100% be frustrated with someone's actions and attitude, that's allowed! You're allowed to say what you feel, that's honesty! But if you really want to find a resolution to it and talk through it with them, there's a way to be honest about it without resorting to tearing them down along the way.

Communication is a 2 way road and if you're going to be "brutally honest" without opening a path for the other to voice their views and opinions then you're having communication that is unconducive to a better outcome.

There's a difference between being brutally honest ("I've noticed X thing and it stresses me out when you do it, such and such happens when you're in that mindset and you may not notice it, I need my space too when I'm mentally not doing well but especially if I notice X mood about you, is there a way I can talk to you when you're like that?" -no one likes to hear the negatives about them, that's what makes it brutal), and being spitefully honest ("I didn't ask you to come along because X thing about you SUCKS, you're selfish and so-and-so is better than you, I realized you're a terrible person because such-and-such").

Brutal honesty is just hating what you hear but knowing there's a way to work to even ground between you and the person you're talking with. Hating to hear it plain and simple is what makes it brutal.

Not the way that the honesty is delivered.

Spiteful honesty is just a hateful attack to hurt the other party and protect yourself and means there was no intention to find and meet on a middle ground in the first place. This leaves no room for working through any problems and breaks what trust may have been there in the first place. Brutal honesty isn't negatively tearing down the person you're talking to.

And if someone tells you that they're "brutally honest" and is ever honest with you in a way that attacks you, ESPECIALLY if they never apologize for not approaching things in a proper conductive way, run the other way and never look back.

[cagliostrohq]

Your adventure begins here, JULY. It’s dangerous to go alone! Before starting your journey, make sure to FOLLOW OUR STARTER BLOG, and go over THIS CHECKLIST! You have 48 HOURS to post in-character and send in your blog to the main.

(moon gayoung, she/her, spirit warrior) To GABRIELLA RYU, the whole world looks like an open page. With a leap of faith, their ability of TELEKINESIS grows a little stronger. They’re pledged to the HOUSE OF BELTRAN to defend the enchanted lands of Cagliostro with their ENCHANTED RING. For TWENTY THREE years, they have survived a world of magic with both their CONFIDENCE and NARCICISSM. They work as a MANAGER AT HER FAMILY RESTAURANT, but if they could change their fate, they’d want to TRAVEL THE WORLD. (july, 30, she/her, gmt)