#nakakabwisit
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Idk if it's just me being too sensitive but i don't really appreciate the jokes my friends in college make about me. Sorry po kung mabilis aq magtampo, it's just that dinidibdib ko lahat kahit jokes lang ☺️ Maybe it's just me but my old hs friendgroup really set the standards too high for me when it comes to having friends cause at least their jokes don't feel mean spirited. At least with them, i feel that i can laugh with them, not feel like i'm the one being laughed at...
#nakakabwisit#lalo na un pag ang patronizing#haysss#some of my college friends im fine with but un mga same course ko haysss#not as much#sila pa lagi q kasama huhu#crushing loneliness so bad im daydreaming of a friend like the ones i had in hs#to them theyre just jokes#d lang nila alam dinidibdib q lahat ng sinasabi nila :)#you know it really adds salt to the wound when they're psych students to and know that jokes are half meant#cause like...what does that say about the jokes you make about me?#you fr hate me?#honestly just sticking around kasi introvert aq and i need ppl to stick with until i can graduate#aughh
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mas mabilis niyong na-approve ang maharlika bill, pero hindi ang pag-legalize ng divorce or gay marriage ?? ahahaha putang ina
#THE PRIORITIES ARE NOT ALIGNED AND THE TRUE CONCERNS ARE BEING NEGLECTED#nakakabwisit ahahajdhajhsa#philippines#philippine government#philippine law#maharlika bill#no one deactivate me for this post btw#summer.txt
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Dito na lang ako mag-word vomit, I guess.
Kakauwi ko lang galing UPD. Naglakad-lakad at kaunting jogging lang kahit ansakit-sakit na ng katawan. Sa pagiging maximizer, nabigla ang katawan sa pag-g-gym. Pero sulit naman 'yung mga pinaggagagawa at effort ko so far, saka happy naman din ako na nakalakad-lakad ako today.
Walang makausap kasi hindi ko alam, baka walang bandwidth 'yung mga tao. Baka matrigger pa sila or anupaman. Disappointing din ang search for new friends—mukhang wholesome pero hookup pala ang nais. Mas nakakabwisit kasi pinag-aksayahan pa ng effort, hindi na lang agad ipakita ang tunay na kulay. Nakakaumay. Hahahaha. Saan kaya makakahanap ng matinong friends?
Okay naman mga tao sa gym pero ayaw ko rin silang istorbohin. Virtual buddies lang. Parang sa tumblr. Alam lang naming nag-eexist ang isa't isa.
Nabobore nanaman ako sa work. Feeling ko tapos na akong mag-"play" ng role. Nataon pa nga na dumating 'yung offer na magbarko. Kaso ang laking jump kasi, from my cushy comfy daily life, andito 'yung potential to earn more pero anlaki rin ng risk.
Hindi naman ako sobrang sobrang bothered pero dahil pawala na ako sa kalendaryo eh gusto ko nang dumami ang sources ng income. Sabi, hindi naman din daw gano'n kalaki ang kitaan dun sa iniisip kong paupahan (dahil ano pa ba ang hindi sobrang sobrang need i-manage hands on) and malaki rin ang capital. Ang isyu ko eh since nagwowork ako, hindi ko nga rin kayang tutukan so baka masayang lang pag nauwi sa wala.
Feeling ko, g na ako mag-explore ng new horizons sa work or baka naman gaya ng sabi ng isang recruiter, wala raw direksyon 'yung CV ko. Hahahaha.
Recently, nagpapahinga lang talaga ako saka nagtitingin ng mga tour or hike. Mt. Pulag, 'yung Avatar thing, Puning, at kung ano pa man ang mayroon. Hindi na ako as bothered compared dati na I have no one to share these things, experiences, and memories with. Ganu'n lang talaga ang life.
Lecheng hookup 'yan at mga kalaswaan, sana magkatagpuan na lang 'yung mga pare-parehas ng hinahanap at sana lubayan na nila 'yung mga kagaya kong wala namang interest.
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gusto ko rin ng office crush naiinggit ako sa friends ko wala man lang akong maging work crush/inspiration dito kasi nakakabwisit silang lahat u_u eme½
miss ko na kiligin ewan ko pero gusto ko lang rin talaga matulog huhuhuhuhuhu
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Nakakabwisit na talaga maki-party sa mga bayan sa 80vac na liblib or malayo sa city. Most of the time meron talagang feeling main character na magpapaputok ng baril for fun. Mas okay talaga mag-celebrate nalang ng okasyon sa labas eh, like going to malls or restaurants. Hosts are really risking everyone, inviting family and friends with people like this. Thank god despidida yun so I won't have any reason to return to that place anymore. Ekis talaga.
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kinain mga chocolates ko dito sa ref at wala man lang umaamin. nakakabwisit. sinong kakain? daga? bubuksan 'yung ref? juskooo naman
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Thank you to everyone who got me to 1000 likes!
Punyemas potangina nakakabwisit(It's in Filipino you wouldn't want to translate this)
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Kung mapadaan sayo to, wag mo nalang tong pansinin.
Subukan ko lang itong ilabas. I think I was in love. Alam ko ang tungkol sa limerence, at hindi malayong she was that limerent object. Hindi nya na kailangang malaman at gagawin ko ang lahat para hindi nya malaman.
Nagiging klaro na sa akin na tatlong taon akong naging delusyonal. Akala ko pwede. Akala ko posible. Akala ko iisa kami ng damdamin sa isa't isa. Lahat yun inenjoy kong isipin nang paulit ulit sa loob ng halos apat at muntik nang maglimang taon. Ayokong umabot pa sa anim hanggang sampung taon pa.
Totoong sinagot ang panalangin ko. Nausal ko kasi na ayoko na kaya nakita ko- ipinakita sa akin ang malinaw na katotohanan. I fell in love with a straight girl.
Ang sarap ulit ulitin ang kathang-isip na yun. Nakakaadik. Pero ang pait na kung uulitin ko pa ulit. Nakakabwisit. Ang gaga ko. Di ko naman gustong maging homosexual. Naiinis ako sa nararamdaman ko. Parang tumatalon puso ko kapag nakikita ko lang kahit picture nya lang. Kahit hindi sa personal, nahihiya akong titigan sya kasi ang ganda ganda nya ("beauty is in the eye of the beholder"). Kawawa naman ako.
Ang swerte naman nya. Mahimbing syang nakakatulog habang ako, hanggang sa pagtulog sya iniisip ko? Aba ang kapal ng mukha nya? Teka wala pala syang kasalanan. Di naman nya kasalanang maging mabaitfunnycutemagandakaibigibigneseyeneenglehetmorenakulotwithniceteethgumsprettysmilebeautifuleyesnoseli-STOP. *sigh*... basta. Di nya ito malalaman. Pareho kaming mamamatay nang di nya malalaman at di ko pinapaalam kahit kanino.
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This is the last straw. If she haven't said the word "move on", maybe many will just shrugged it off. Eh wala, first sentence palang nakakabwisit na agad.
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Parang tanga talaga tong isa P.A dito nakakairita kaduty tapos nakakabwisit pa reason bakit nag anak sya kahit 42 yrs old na sya 😒 nag anak daw sya para may mag alaga sa kanya pag tanda potang mindset yan taena di pa niluluwal may responsibilidad na yung bata eh hahahah tapos nung niluwal na nakakapagod daw pala mag alaga ng anak gago ka ba????
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nakakairita
nakakabwisit
nakakasura
nakakagigil
nakakaasar
nakakagalit
nakakabadtrip
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“How many times is that today now?” She asks, gently tossing the phone to her as a missed call notification replaces the incoming call alert.
Mysaria hard carrying for aemond is still so girls girl of her. Bless her
She shrugs, not averting her gaze from the TV screen as a rerun of Come Dine with Me, that neither of them are particularly paying attention to, plays to itself. “Dunno. He’ll get the hint eventually.”
BUT IM SO PROUD OF HERRR!!!!! IM SO FUCKING HAPPY SHE ❌👅 ❌ IGNORED THAT RATTTTTTTT DESERRRVVVEEEEEEEEEEEE DESERVVEEEEEEE
It’s Sunday evening and she hasn’t spoken to Aemond since she woke up alone in his flat the previous morning, despite the fact he texts and calls her more times than she can count. She deletes the messages without reading them, and lets each of his calls go to voicemail. He’d made her feel cheap, used, put a price on her body, and she had no desire to ever speak to him again.
I LOVE THAT FOR YOUUUU
Mysaria sighs, flopping back against the sofa cushions. “Can I be a bitch for a second?” She asks, turning her head to face her. “You aren’t going to like it, but I think you need to hear it.”
Do it. My beloved girls girl. Even though I'm absolutely going to DESPISE LOATHE ABHOR EVERY MOMENT
“Why are you punishing him because you’ve caught feelings?”
DAMN. But 🤨 cos he deserves it??
Her annoyance bursts forth into anger as her brow furrows, her body language becoming squared and defensive. “I haven’t–”
YOU THINK YOU DONT LIKE HIM????? TANGA KA PALA EH BOBO NAKAKABWISIT KA TITI NG AMA MO ULOL GAGO HINAYUPAK
“Yes, you have,” Mysaria interrupts. “I get that he did a shitty thing by leaving you high and dry, but he clearly feels bad or he wouldn’t keep trying to reach you. Give the guy a chance to explain himself, if you don’t like what he has to say then break things off.”
No. I love you. Shut the fuck up. Ok maybe I'll do it but after I make him suffer a bit more
“Because I’m right,” Mysaria says smugly, leaning over to tap her on the nose. “You gonna call him back then?”
🙄 you are but I hate it shut the fuck up I won't call him. EW
“Erm…so it’s not pizza…” Mysaria says awkwardly as she re-enters the living room, a silver haired figure a good deal taller than her trailing behind her.
youtube
“You’ve not been returning my calls,” Aemond says flatly.
Aemond nods gratefully, taking the seat next to hear. “These are you for, by the way,” He tells her, handing her the flowers.
🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬YOU MUST THINK IM STUPID OF COURSE THEY'RE FOR ME IF THEY WERE FOR MYSARIA ID SKIN YOU ALIVE
“Listen, if the other night wasn’t good, or I hurt you–”
YOU KNOW HOW
LOUD
THE SOUND OF MY HAND SLAPPING ON MY MOUTH WAS??????
“Cheap? But I bank transferred you afterwards.”
IM SO FUCKING AGGRAVATED BY HIM WHAT THE FUCK GET THE FUCK OUT KF HERE YOU CHUFFER DALCOP 👺👺👺👺
“Yes!” She replies with exasperation. “You made me feel cheap, and used.”
LOUDER FOR THE BUFFOON IGNORAMUS RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU
See this why I hate rich people they're so disconnected to reality and they use theyre money like it could fix the world WHICH US COULD BUT YOU CIRCLE BACK TO HE FACT THEYRE SO FUCKING STUPID AND DISCONNECTED
“No funny business, I promise. We don’t have to sleep together again, but I’ve enjoyed having your company at family functions, it makes them more bearable. Please say you’ll consider it?”
No. Get out of my house. I can't possibly answer your life altering question right now the same moment
She’s not sure what prompts the words from her mouth, perhaps it’s the pleading look in Aemond’s eye, or the fact that she enjoys his company too, but she says them before she fully has a chance to think about them. “Okay, we’ll carry on as before.”
🫤 fucking imbecile
“I suppose that’s my cue to leave,” Aemond says softly. “I’ll text you, okay?”
Don't text me get the fuck out of my house
FASTER BUDGET MALFOY
.... Ok considering he's rich I don't think that's a good insult. ITS A GREAT INSULT
She nods, and they both stand, hovering near each other, both unsure of what would be an appropriate goodbye. Eventually Aemond leans in, kissing the corner of her mouth lightly before pulling back and exiting the flat. She holds her fingers against the area, still able to feel the press of his lips even after he’s departed.
SEE YOU DID IT AGAIN. I DID NOT CONSENT. YOURE SUCH A COLONIZER ALL YOU DO IS TAKE WHAT YOU WANT AND DONT THINK ABOUT THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR ACTIONS 🙅♀️🙅♀️🙅♀️🙅♀️🙅♀️🙅♀️🙅♀️🙅♀️🙅♀️ YOU THINK WITH YOUR DICK AND EVERYTHING IS A CASUALTY. YES IN A VILLAIN BUT YOURE A MAN. EVEN AT THE DATE YOU JUST PULLED HER CLOSE. YEAH IR WAS GREAT BUT FUCK YOU IT WOULD HAVE BEEN GREATER HAD YOU ASKKKKKKKEDDDDD
Yeah, I’m free :) xoxo
The only xo this man deserves is the xo in extermination.GET A GRIP GURL
Aegon merely holds up a hand by way of greeting, looking less than enthusiastic to be there, [...]
AEGON I TRUST YOU STEAL ME AWAY
“It would mean having to switch off their Playstation, so I very much doubt it,” Rhaenyra says with a roll of her eyes.
😬😬😬😬😬😬🤢🤢🤢🤢 PLAYSTATION SONS I HATE THAT FOR YOU RHAENYRA
“You’ll be okay for a moment won’t you, darling?” Aemond asks her.
🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃 Im convinced this man is insane. SIR YOUVE MET YOUR FAMILY WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU LEAVING ME THE FUCKKKKKK??????
Aegon has sidled up to her, beer in hand, a slight smirk on his face. “Having fun?”
NO 🤬. 💞💞💞💞💞 Aegonnnn 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 HI..PLS HELP ME.
“At least you’re getting paid to be here.”
“You play a convincing part,” He takes a swig from his bottle. “Too good to be acting, actually. You can’t fake how you look at my brother.”
Ok. I guess I can't trust you. Nah that's on me 💩💩💩 I knew men were shit and I still opened my heart to the possibility of them not being that
“Incestuous?” Aegon lets out a laugh that borders on being too unhinged to come from a place of genuine mirth, before taking another swig of his beer. “Yeah, yeah, it is.”
🤢🤢🤢🤢🤚🤚🤚 at least he's self aware
Wait I the part about the canon rhaenyra alicent event got eaten. I just wanted to say I get rhaenyra but she's being a petty cretin about it and as a petty cretin myself that is not the way to go.... Or maybe it is.... IDK THIS FAMILY NEEDS THERAPY but we all already knew that
Luke smirks, elbowing Aemond. “He should be careful, almost had your other eye out.”
Rhaenyra your demon spawn needs a leash what the fuck is that. Go aemond BEAT HIS ASS
She buries her hands into the softness of his hair as he latches his mouth against her, bringing her to quick release with harsh strokes of his tongue. Every thought of what they’d discussed on Sunday evening leaves her mind as he pushes her back against the mattress, the force of his thrusts inside of her causing her toes to curl and her eyes to roll back, until he eventually collapses against her with a grunt, the faint pulsation of him inside of her signifying he’s reached his end.
Annnnddd now we're fucking 🫤 it be like that I guess. Go give us nothing queen
“Your mattress is fucking terrible,” Aemond grouses sleepily, pulling her tighter against him. “It feels like I’ve slept on a pile of loose change.”
❓❓❓❓❓❓ Then leave❓❓❓❓❓❓❓❓❓❓ sleep in your own bed❓❓❓❓❓❓❓❓ buy better sheets❓❓❓❓❓❓❓❓❓ buy a better bed❓❓❓❓❓❓❓ I mean money fixes everything right❓❓❓❓❓❓❓❓❓❓❓❓❓❓
He clears his throat, setting down his own knife and fork, before slowly wiping his mouth on a napkin. “I can’t do that,” He says quietly.
This is your cue to throw him out the window btw
Aemond reaches across the table, taking her hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. “You’re perfect,” He reassures her. “But I’m not, and I don’t do relationships. My circumstances are too complicated, I’d end up hurting you, and that’s the very last thing I want to do.”
GIRL HE SAID IT HIMSELF. RUN.
RUN
RUN 🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️💨💨💨💨💨
“Can you…can you just go, please?” She whispers, unable to look at him.
FINALLY SOEM FUCKIGN SENSE
Only after she hears the front door click closed, and the feel of his lips have faded from her skin, does she allow herself to fall apart. Hot tears cascade down her cheeks, as she feels the presence that has taken up so much of her life leave behind a gaping void in its wake.
😔😔😔😔💔💔💔💔💔 ok I still feel for you tho. Ngl he had us in the first half. He had good dick game but not good enough. SOO LA VOO
Who Taught You How to Love Like That? - Chapter Four
Pairing: Modern!Aemond Targaryen x female character (third person) Warnings: Sugar daddy/sugar baby dynamics. Smut. Oral (f receiving). Angst. Word count: ~3.5k
Series masterlist
Chapter summary: An understanding is reached and Aegon dishes family dirt at a BBQ.
Author's note: I don't have a tag list - please follow @fics-by-ewanmitchellcrumbs and turn on post notifications. Only scabs community label fics. If you find yourself tempted to slap a label on this, please block me instead.
Her phone vibrates on the coffee table, the buzzing causing it to move dangerously close to the edge. Quick as a flash, Mysaria lunges forward from the sofa to catch it before it topples to the floor, smirking when she sees the name that’s flashing up on the screen.
“How many times is that today now?” She asks, gently tossing the phone to her as a missed call notification replaces the incoming call alert.
She shrugs, not averting her gaze from the TV screen as a rerun of Come Dine with Me, that neither of them are particularly paying attention to, plays to itself. “Dunno. He’ll get the hint eventually.”
It’s Sunday evening and she hasn’t spoken to Aemond since she woke up alone in his flat the previous morning, despite the fact he texts and calls her more times than she can count. She deletes the messages without reading them, and lets each of his calls go to voicemail. He’d made her feel cheap, used, put a price on her body, and she had no desire to ever speak to him again.
Mysaria sighs, flopping back against the sofa cushions. “Can I be a bitch for a second?” She asks, turning her head to face her. “You aren’t going to like it, but I think you need to hear it.”
She leans her head back, eyes flitting to meet her flatmate’s, already feeling a prickle of annoyance heat her skin, but decides to let her say her piece. “Go on then.”
“Why are you punishing him because you’ve caught feelings?”
Her annoyance bursts forth into anger as her brow furrows, her body language becoming squared and defensive. “I haven’t–”
“Yes, you have,” Mysaria interrupts. “I get that he did a shitty thing by leaving you high and dry, but he clearly feels bad or he wouldn’t keep trying to reach you. Give the guy a chance to explain himself, if you don’t like what he has to say then break things off.”
She scoffs in frustration, turning back towards the TV and rolling her eyes. “You are so bloody annoying!”
“Because I’m right,” Mysaria says smugly, leaning over to tap her on the nose. “You gonna call him back then?”
She chews her lip absentmindedly, turning her phone around in her hands. She supposes it wouldn’t hurt to reach out to him, if only to ask how to return the five grand he’d transferred to her.
The buzzer to the flat startles her out of her train of thought and Mysaria peels herself off of the sofa with a groan of “Finally! I’m bloody starving!”
Pizza first, then she’ll call him. She’s definitely not putting it off, she reasons with herself, she just doesn’t want her food to go cold.
“Erm…so it’s not pizza…” Mysaria says awkwardly as she re-enters the living room, a silver haired figure a good deal taller than her trailing behind her.
Dread gnaws at her stomach as she takes in the sight of Aemond, hair thrown back in a bun, dressed in a tight black henley and fitted black jeans, holding the largest bouquet of lilies and roses she’s ever seen before. Even when she’s angry with him he still manages to look absolutely breathtaking, and it irritates her.
“I’ll just…uh…” Mysaria makes a gesture towards her bedroom, and quickly makes herself scarce.
Lucky bitch.
“You’ve not been returning my calls,” Aemond says flatly.
“No…” She responds quietly, feeling the warmth of embarrassment spread through her, as she plucks nervously at the legs of her jogging bottoms. He’s never seen her not put together, and she loathes that she feels shame for her appearance, when she hasn’t done anything wrong. Him seeing her with messy hair, an oversized t-shirt and threadbare joggers makes her feel weak and vulnerable in his presence.
“Or replying to my texts.”
“I know.”
“Listen, if the other night wasn’t good, or I hurt you–”
“Why don’t you sit down?” She interjects, suddenly realising how absurd he looks, stood in the middle of the living room, dwarfing everything around him with his obscenely large bunch of flowers.
Aemond nods gratefully, taking the seat next to hear. “These are you for, by the way,” He tells her, handing her the flowers.
She hums a quiet thanks, immediately overwhelmed by the sweetness of their aroma, and places them on the coffee table, knowing she’ll need no distractions if she’s to say what she needs to say.
“The other night was great, really great, actually,” She begins. “But you just left the next morning without a word, and that really upset me.”
“You were upset because I left?” He asks, sounding almost surprised.
“Yes!” She replies with exasperation. “You made me feel cheap, and used.”
“Cheap? But I bank transferred you afterwards.”
“Jesus, Aemond! I’m not a prostitute!” She throws up her hands angrily, gesticulating her point.
He swallows thickly, clearly considering his next words carefully. “I know you said you’ve never done anything like this before, but neither have I, and I made a mistake. My grandfather called me into the office early on Saturday morning. You looked so peaceful sleeping that I didn’t want to wake you. I’m sorry that my carelessness has hurt you, but I am keen to continue our arrangement.”
It all seems so simple when he words it like that. She could easily have reached out to question his actions, but she’d allowed her emotions to guide her and now feels foolish because of it. When she says nothing, Aemond presses on.
“No funny business, I promise. We don’t have to sleep together again, but I’ve enjoyed having your company at family functions, it makes them more bearable. Please say you’ll consider it?”
She’s not sure what prompts the words from her mouth, perhaps it’s the pleading look in Aemond’s eye, or the fact that she enjoys his company too, but she says them before she fully has a chance to think about them. “Okay, we’ll carry on as before.”
“Thank you,” He says earnestly.
The buzzer sounding again prevents him from saying anything else, as Mysaria hurries from her room towards the door, in pursuit of her pizza delivery.
“I suppose that’s my cue to leave,” Aemond says softly. “I’ll text you, okay?”
She nods, and they both stand, hovering near each other, both unsure of what would be an appropriate goodbye. Eventually Aemond leans in, kissing the corner of her mouth lightly before pulling back and exiting the flat. She holds her fingers against the area, still able to feel the press of his lips even after he’s departed.
It takes three days for Aemond to message her again, and in that time it feels as though she could crawl out of her own skin with the apprehension that his silence brings. Had he changed his mind, decided her withdrawing contact over an honest mistake was too much to deal with? It fills her with a nervous energy that makes the days unbearable.
The relief she feels when he finally deigns to reach out is borderline humiliating.
Not sure if you remember my half sister, Rhaenyra, but she is having a BBQ on Saturday. Are you free?
I remember. Are you sure you want to go after what happened on your mum’s birthday? Xoxo
My mother will never let me hear the end of it if I don’t go. Will you come with me?
Yeah, I’m free :) xoxo
When Saturday finally rolls around, she keeps her hair and make-up simple, wearing a floral sundress and strappy sandals, but immediately feels underdressed as she recognises the house they pull up outside of as being the one they’d been to for Jace and Baela’s engagement party.
She has little time to dwell on her appearance though, as Aemond ushers her through the expanse of the house and out into the back garden. A sprawling, lush green lawn that could be considered more of a field due to its size plays host to various members of the Targaryen and Hightower families, as the smell of barbecued meat lingers on the breeze.
Aemond leads her around, his hand glued to the small of her back, so she can say polite hellos to everyone. Alicent and Criston greet her with warm hugs and kisses to both cheeks, Helaena does the same, while standing with Baela and Rhaena, the two girls offer a quick “hello” in sing-song unity. Aegon merely holds up a hand by way of greeting, looking less than enthusiastic to be there, and Otto says a polite “good to see you both”. The rest of the family’s greetings are a little more frosty, with Rhaenyra, Jace, Luke and Joffrey giving curt nods of acknowledgement, while Daemon is too preoccupied with the barbecue to notice they’ve even arrived.
“Viserys and Aegon not joining us?” Alicent asks Rhaenyra softly.
“It would mean having to switch off their Playstation, so I very much doubt it,” Rhaenyra says with a roll of her eyes.
The tension is palpable, but her nerves subside slightly when she sees a Rhodesian ridgeback galloping around the garden, with a copper coloured dachshund hot on its heels.
“Oh cute!” She says, turning to Aemond. “Could you not have brought Vhagar?”
“No,” He sighs. “She doesn’t get along with Syrax and Caraxes, so I’ve left her with the dog sitter.”
She gratefully accepts a glass of Pimm’s that’s offered to her by Otto, before he tells Aemond he needs a word.
“You’ll be okay for a moment won’t you, darling?” Aemond asks her.
The pet name causes her breath to catch in her throat and she merely nods, not trusting herself to speak. As they walk away together, she wanders over to a corner of the large garden, pretending to examine an ornate sundial to keep herself busy, when she feels a presence beside her.
Aegon has sidled up to her, beer in hand, a slight smirk on his face. “Having fun?”
“About as much as you are, by the looks of things,” She replies with a tight smile.
“At least you’re getting paid to be here.”
Her eyes go wide, her chest tightening as she realises he knows.
Aegon chuckles. “Ah, you didn’t think I knew? It’s fine, who do you think showed him the app?”
“O-oh…” is all she’s able to stammer, feeling too shocked to say anything else.
“You play a convincing part,” He takes a swig from his bottle. “Too good to be acting, actually. You can’t fake how you look at my brother.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” She snaps, feeling the familiar heat of embarrassment tingle at her flesh.
Aegon snorts derisively. “Look, take it from me, don’t get attached. My brother is the last person you want to get involved with. This whole family is a fucking car crash.”
She sips anxiously at her drink, nodding slightly. “I’d noticed none of you seem to get along that well.”
“That is the fucking understatement of the century. Has Aemond told you much about us?”
“Nothing substantial.”
“Allow me to fill you in,” He gestures discreetly towards Alicent. “My mother used to be best friends with my half-sister, they went to school together. My grandfather and my father were business partners, tri-owners of multiple companies alongside Daemon. When my father’s wife, Rhaenyra’s mother, passed away suddenly, my mother started dating my father.”
“Jesus…” She mutters under her breath.
“Oh, it gets worse!” He says with a leer. “See, Rhaenyra wasn’t happy that her best friend had shacked up with her dad. I mean, who would be? She was even more pissed off when the three of us came along, as it meant she was no longer an only child. She started sleeping around to get back at my father, that’s how she ended up with those three.”
Aegon nods towards where Jace, Luke and Joffrey all stand.
“What about her other two children, Aegon and Viserys?”
“Those are the kids she’s had with Daemon. They got married shortly before my father passed away. Mum thinks she did it just to strengthen her claim of the assets, as Daemon’s a partner in the business and Dad didn’t bother to leave a will. Everything Mum has ever tried to claim for us she’s contested.”
“So that’s what all that talk of Dragonstone Cottage was about at your Mum’s birthday?”
“Yeah, ‘Nyra’s sneaky way of trying to hoard assets for her brood.”
“How do Baela and Rhaena fit into all of this?”
“They’re Daemon’s children from a previous marriage.”
“But Baela is engaged to Jace, isn’t that a bit…” She trails off, not knowing the exact word she wants to use.
“Incestuous?” Aegon lets out a laugh that borders on being too unhinged to come from a place of genuine mirth, before taking another swig of his beer. “Yeah, yeah, it is.”
“So what does this have to do with Aemond? Why should I not get involved?”
Aegon rounds on her. “Has he ever told you about, y’know…” He taps his eye.
She shakes her head. “No.”
“Hmmm. Probably best to leave that to him to explain then.”
Their attention is pulled away by the sound of a fork being tapped against the side of a glass. She turns to see Daemon standing at the head of the garden. “Just wanted to thank you all for joining us today”, He says as everyone gathers closer, herself and Aegon included. “I think such an occasion is cause for celebration.” He brandishes a bottle of champagne, before popping the cork, a few that are stood closest step back out of its line of fire.
Luke smirks, elbowing Aemond. “He should be careful, almost had your other eye out.”
It happens so suddenly it seems like a blur, but Aemond has Luke by the collar and Aegon is rushing forward to tackle Jace away. Punches are thrown from both sides, until the ensuing scuffle is broken apart by Daemon and Otto.
Aemond’s eye is wild as he approaches her, his breathing ragged, and his usually immaculately styled hair tousled. “Come on, we’re leaving,” He grits out.
She has to hurry to keep up with his long strides through the house and to the car, and they drive in silence, Aemond’s knuckles blanched with the force of the grip he has on the steering wheel.
She drums her fingers anxiously against her thighs, not quite knowing what to say, but it is Aemond who eventually breaks the silence.
“I’m sorry you had to see that,” He says quietly. “It was a bad idea for us to go today.”
“What was that all about?” She asks as gently as she can. “What got you so heated?”
Aemond sighs heavily, keeping his focus on the road ahead, and for a moment she doesn’t think he will answer her.
“Luke’s the reason I lost my eye,” He admits. “His little comment today got to me, and I lashed out.”
“What happened?” She turns slightly in the passenger seat to face him.
“It’s stupid really, an irresponsible rich family allowing their kids to roam the woods with Airsoft guns. The official story is that it was an accident, but accidents don’t happen at point blank range, accidents aren’t something you never apologise for.”
“Jesus, Aemond, I’m so sorry.” Her heart aches for him, having to play happy families with someone who has maimed him
“It is what it is,” He says with a slight shrug. “Makes being around them harder than it already is though. Thank you for being there with me today.”
“That’s alright,” She fidgets nervously with the hem of her dress as they pull up outside her block of flats. “Do you want to come inside for a bit? You shouldn’t be alone when you’re feeling like this.”
No funny business.
Her heart races as Aemond’s hands disappear up her skirt, reappearing with her underwear grasped in his fingers, dragging them down her legs.
We don’t have to sleep together again.
She buries her hands into the softness of his hair as he latches his mouth against her, bringing her to quick release with harsh strokes of his tongue. Every thought of what they’d discussed on Sunday evening leaves her mind as he pushes her back against the mattress, the force of his thrusts inside of her causing her toes to curl and her eyes to roll back, until he eventually collapses against her with a grunt, the faint pulsation of him inside of her signifying he’s reached his end.
They fall asleep, curled around each other in her tiny double bed and she’s pleased to see he’s still there when she awakens the following morning.
“Your mattress is fucking terrible,” Aemond grouses sleepily, pulling her tighter against him. “It feels like I’ve slept on a pile of loose change.”
She giggles, nuzzling into his neck.
They spend most mornings like that, over the coming weeks. Aemond becomes a frequent presence in the little flat. Her feet stay planted in his lap while they watch TV after work in the evenings, before he fucks her into the mattress like it’s the last thing he’ll ever do. Their mornings are lazy and indulgent, spent slowly exploring every inch of each other, before they part ways to go to work, only to do it all over again in the evening.
She buys a dog bed, which takes up half the floor space in her bedroom. Aemond raises an eyebrow at this.
“Vhagar’s quite fussy about where she sleeps,” He tells her, only to watch in disbelief as the elderly doberman circles several times on it, before settling down to nap. “I stand corrected.”
Their presence in her life becomes larger as time goes on, and it’s difficult not to feel that it is more than it is, but she is constantly reminded of the transactional nature with every shopping trip on Oxford Street, every visit to Champney’s Spa, each time he hands her his credit card.
The thought occurs to her that perhaps she ought to broach the topic of what they are, how their relationship is developing, but each time she decides against it, too afraid he’ll say something she doesn’t want to hear.
Mysaria smiles as she sees them snuggled together in front of the TV, when she comes home. “You’re here so often, we’ll have to start charging you rent,” She says playfully.
Aemond pulls out his phone, bringing up his banking app. “How much?” He asks, deadly serious.
“Aemond, she was joking!” She laughs, swatting his arm playfully.
It’s been a slow Saturday morning, almost midday and she sits at the kitchen table, a satisfied ache between her legs, as she sips at a coffee while Aemond plates up eggs benedict for them both. One of the things that surprises her most about him is that he’s able to cook, and he does it well.
She eyes him carefully as she pokes at her breakfast, unable to shift the feeling of how his fingers dug into her flesh, how he gazed at her so reverently, his lips featherlight against her throat just an hour before.
His money, his lavish lifestyle, she wants none of it. She just wants him, so she decides that this time she’ll be brave and shoot her shot before she has the opportunity to second guess herself.
Carefully, she sets down her cutlery and rests her chin against her hand. “So I’ve been thinking…about us.”
Aemond pauses, fixing her with his right eye.
Nerves flutter in her belly at his silence, but she continues anyway. “What we have, let’s make a proper go of it? I don’t care about your money, Aemond, I just want to be with you.”
He clears his throat, setting down his own knife and fork, before slowly wiping his mouth on a napkin. “I can’t do that,” He says quietly.
She is immediately struck by the hollowness in her chest, sucking in a harsh breath to ground herself against the lump forming in her throat.
Aemond reaches across the table, taking her hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. “You’re perfect,” He reassures her. “But I’m not, and I don’t do relationships. My circumstances are too complicated, I’d end up hurting you, and that’s the very last thing I want to do.”
She can’t argue with him, he’s being so bloody nice about it, and Aegon had warned her of this. She wants to scream at him, to cry, to tell him it isn’t fair, but it’s her that has asked for this, and at least he’s being honest with her, even if the truth does make her feel like her chest is being crushed under a vast weight. “I understand,” She chokes out.
“I’m sorry,” He says sadly, genuinely.
“Can you…can you just go, please?” She whispers, unable to look at him.
He nods, standing and presses a gentle kiss to her temple before leaving.
Only after she hears the front door click closed, and the feel of his lips have faded from her skin, does she allow herself to fall apart. Hot tears cascade down her cheeks, as she feels the presence that has taken up so much of her life leave behind a gaping void in its wake.
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September 9 2024
- today po is super enjoy na pagod din, mas naka vibes po namin ung iba naming classmates and mas nagkaroon ng bond due sa project, chismis na may onting gawa HAHAHAHAHAHAHA pati po ung ano sir, mga beef namen sa isang pet peeve namen. SIR TOTOO BANG NAGBIBIGAY KA NG DOS? SIR PLEASE 'WAG RUNNING FOR LATIN AKO 😭😭😭 (kahabagan mo kami sir, iiyak kame sige 😓). Another lesson learned, maraming nakakabwisit na tao sa earth (pet peeve namen)
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lagaluggggzz
Travel is love 5evs.
And just like that, I have yet to book my accoms which is coming very soon. My travel buddies have been checking if I would actually go because of the ultimate flaker szn in JP earlier this year. Hahahaha. Of course, I assured them it's okay to judge me because that scarlet sin is shining, shimmering, and super duper splendid.
However, kakatamad lang talagang mag-book. Bukas na since Tuesday is the day where flights are cheapest, but, good luck because... abangan! Anyway, I'm saks lungs but let's see talaga how the trip will pan out. HOHOHOHO. So much to unpack, but again, saka na 'pag natuloy na ng bongga ka dhzai levels.
Why is travel loveeeee in my book? When the plane takes off, I feel like I'm in a space shuttle. Hahahaha. Ambabaw. If others feel anxious about that, ako naman, I feel pumped all over. When the plane lands, gah. That's another euphoria lalo 'pag may turbulence na akala mo kukunin ka na ng aliens or the higher beings levels. Super delulu ko talaga that way, pero ganun talaga ako e. Hahaha. And I don't know, but I have this ritual where I really tire myself before a flight para after take off, tulog na ako agad. Same for flying back. Gusto ko tulog lang ako since I don't have a long flight pa naman. WINK*WINK. That will come in time. EMYYYY.
And when I visit a new city in my dysfunctional book, I try beer, coffee, tea, basic food, and judge the location. Ending: Loperamide, ammonia, atbp., labas. LOL. Bonus points 'pag oks ang transportation, but this is super skewed because PH transport system is -100000000x. So anything better than our pusali levels commuter vibes is a legit level up.
May kasama ba ako sa trip na 'to? Yes and no. LOL. Abangan na lang din because what I'm really looking forward to is this super basic dream that is coming to life na for sure maiiyak ako ng very light habang naglalakad-lakad sa mga pasilyo ng ating newest city na 'to. Why with slight iyak? Because this is one of the dreams that's aligned with mom's paganaps for me wayyyyy back. By paganaps e gutter levels to the high street-ish kinda thingyyy. Akala mo naman kung ano 'di ba? Nanay kong magaling na naman. Hahahaha. Kaya sana matuloy talaga. EMYYYY.
I just hope the weather is going to be forgivable talaga. UGH.
Napaka waley netong pakawala na 'to kasi daming mga labada. Hihihihihihi. And doing a deep dive with something na walang reveal because... hahahahahaheeheeheeehehehehehe. AWOOO. CHZ.
Prayers and devotionals are going a bit okay because naman, 'di ko pa mahanap rosary collection ng nanay ko. Saka parang very out of my character pa talaga. Sana kayanin ko forda greater good.
It's also the szn of pista and I didn't go to my lola's hometown dahil pista nila bday ni Mama Mary. JUSQ. Dad wanted me to go with him so ginawa ko na lang pang-suhol si wonky MatchaME. Sabi ko, iaahon niya sa Caliraya na walang pinagbabawal na teknik. Hahahahahaha. Pumayag naman after mga panguuto like 'pag kasama ako, wala siyang folding B. Feeling ko bibili na rin 'to ng kanya kasi nood-nood siya ng malala ng mga T line na hybrid B. Hahahahahahaha. Nakakabwisit nga kasi nagtatanong kung puwede raw ba upgrade si MatchaME. Sabi ko, lekat pulikat siya kahit kailan. Benta na lang niya iba niyang bike tapos bilhin niya dream bike niya para tumigil na siya kakaparinig.
I didn't expect dad to actually love the wonky B universe. Hahahahahahahahahaha. GAGOOOO. LULLLLZZZZ. LELLLZZZ. Eto na naman 'yung inis ko kasi gusto ko wala akong kapareho ng gustong brand bilang 'di rin naman niya gusto ang B ever. Even Dahon kong folding, parang naging alternative lang sa kanya. Ngayon, gusto na raw niya 'yung multicolor way na parang Vespa Sean Wotherspoon. ULOL. Apaka mahal na ng resell price nun e. Kaya naman, tumigil siya. Side Note: Sabi ko nga sa tatay ko, parang kanya na talaga B ko e. Tacccaaa. Tawa-tawa siya ng pang-asar. Sabi ko 'wag niya bilhan ng isang kilometrong handlebar kasi ipukpok ko sa kanya 'yun since it's my pet peeve among others talaga. Kadire 100000000.
Then super love niya na may sub cult ng Vespa na may angkas na B and may asong makulit pa. Syempre, matic Vici 'yung angkas. Inaasar ako na bakit naman daw angkas 'yung B na wala ng space sa ibang angkas. Sabi ko naman, ganito kasi 'yan: Hanap ka rin ng naka-Vespa na may angkas din na B saka asong makulit. Periodddtzzz. Slay-vage na naman tatay kong magaling. Wala pa naman akong namamataan na ganitong set up, so ayun. Good luck and God bless na lang talaga. Hahahahahaha.
Eto 'yung dahilan for now bakit tayo bumabangon araw-araw. Hahahaha. Road to boring tita na talaga tayo outside MNL soon. Tapos rides, rides, rides. LOL. And this time around, sold na sold sa tatay kong pakitong-kitong. Hahahahahahaha. Angkas daw niya ako. Apaka feeling talaga netong pakitong-kitong na 'to kahit kailan. Kadire pero sige, para happy siya, sige na. Iyo na. Hahahaha. So what? Need na matuto mag-scooter kaso sobrang stress kasi clasustrophobic nga ako 'di ba? Dapat talaga sa mga lugar na wala masyadong tao tayo. LELS. Hahahahaha. Alsssoooo, 2ne1 in MNL is coming. JUSQ. Hahahahahahahahaha. Bakit kasi LN ang organizer???!!! Bakiiittt? TACAAAYOOOO. Need ko na bang rumaket sa light booth para ma-secure ang slot? Abangan!!! may Jakarta leg din naman pero naman. May JP scalpers pa rin naman pero sabi nga ng mga tao sa paligig-ligid, mas mura pa rin ang MNL. PS: Ganda ng algo ng Spotify talaga. Eerily accurate na siya lalo. Tacccaaa.
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Naiiyak nanaman ako, imbis na natutulog na ako. Nakakabwisit, yoko na 😭
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