#nah she's sending her away to talk to them- yep lol

[after-nine-at-the-oasis]

THEY SAID IT!! THEY FINALLY SAID IT!!!

AAAHHHHHHHHH

OMEGA IS FORCE SENSITIVE :DDD

[jerzwriter]

Bringing you some more headcanons! Honestly these are so fun! Kudos to whoever came up with this game!

I'd like to think Ethan would be a helicopter parent; but not in this overly bossy way, rather like super duper overprotective to the point where Kaycee would have to yank Emma away from him when they send her off to college.

Kaycee played some sport (?) in school, idk she gives me soccer girl vibes or maybe the FC does? Idk lmfao.

Tobias would've taken up odd jobs in high school and college. Like the oddest of jobs. I'd like to think he might have had a short-lived career as a magician, although that might be too crackheady.

Casey is a massive coffee mug collector.

Tobias is the "Don't tell Mom, but I've got a huge tub of icecream" parent towards his kids.

Ethan in Emma's parent-teacher conference would be at least, a little intimidating. I feel like he's the type of parent to get super defensive over his kid and would question why certain things are the way they are.

I might actually go to jail for this but.. mayybe Casey might've had a little crush on Jackie/Aurora? It is probably a one-time thing but has she ever had one?

Ethan collects different blends of coffee as a hobby and has a huge stack of it in his shelf and nearly scares Kaycee to the Moon when she sees like, fifty boxes of varying flavours just stacked up against and Ethan's like "Oh that's my coffee cabinet" and Kaycee s like "Your coffee WHAT?!"

OMG Mads these are amazing! Let's look at them:

Helicopter parent Ethan. OMFG YES! This fic (Candyland) is one of my faves - because it's a contrast of E/K and T/C parenting styles. As you can see, Ethan thinks his little girl is perfect, and when she's less than, Kaycee has to talk him off the ledge because he's convinced this means she's destined for a life of crime. 😂😂😂 I believe Kaycee could have been a helicopter parent, but when she saw how Ethan was, she was like, "Nah. Emma needs one sane parent." You hit the nail on the head with this one.

Kaycee & Sports: Kaycee enjoys sports, but she was more of a spectator. However, she was an excellent figure skater. She was scouted to go pro, but it was a far too expensive undertaking for her parents to commit to.

Tobias's Odd Jobs: If my Tobias wasn't a trust-fund baby, I could see this. But my Tobias was a trust-fund baby, so I don't see him working at all in high school and not much in college. In college, it would probably be jobs/internships related to his career only. (But if not, yep. I see it. Like a clown at kid parties lmao)

Casey Mug Collector: I can see this... in general, she doesn't like a lot of clutter, but I can see this. It probably drives Tobias a little nuts, because he doesn't like clutter either. Of course, he ends up buying her most of them, so he can't complain. lol

Tobias "Don't tell Mom": LMAO OMG I see it. Now, on major issues, they agreed to always, always present a united front, and they do. But on things like this, 100%. Casey: "Honey, I'm working late tonight. Can you handle dinner?" T: "Of course, baby." C: "And don't let our little demons convince you to order pizza!" Hours later T: "Come on, we have to get the pizza boxes out of here or your mom will kick my ass." (PS Sammy outs him the second Casey walks in the door. lol) I love this!

Ethan's Parent-Child Conference: YES! YES! A thousand times, YES!

Casey's Crushes: I can totally see this (you have a get-out-of-jail-free card lmao), but this is how I'd see it. Casey and Jackie hit it off really well when they meet, and Jackie has that spunky/sarcasm Casey loves. She has a crush on her, and she is considering telling her (a little leery because they're roommates/friends and doesn't want it to be awkward), but then Jackie goes into that brief asshole stage in Book 1, and that puts the whole crush on ice for Casey. As far as Aurora, I can see Kaycee being the one with the crush on Aurora. Kaycee and Aurora would actually be a great match. So I can see Kaycee nursing a little crush, but not one she'd act on, as she's already with Ethan in my HC.

Ethan's Coffee Collection: FOR SURE! And I think he has a Scotch collection too! lol

These were great! Thanks, Mads!

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 315: I Didn’t Expect This to Blow Up

Previously on BnHA: Horikoshi was all “guess which plot that you thought was dead is actually not dead and is making a comeback!” and we were all “EVIL HPSC??” and he was all “girl you know it,” and that’s the story of how we got a sexy Lady Nagant flashback with lots of guns and murder. Flashback!Lady was all “gotta murder peeps to preserve the people’s trust,” but then a little while later she was like “actually wait that makes no sense,” and so she shot her evil boss and they sent her to jail. Back in the present, Deku was all “okay fair, the hero system might in fact be a little fucked up, but hear me out... have you considered not helping AFO take over the world so he can murder like a bazillion more innocent people??” The chapter ended with the not-all-there Overhaul finally revealing himself to Deku, and I honestly have no idea where this is gonna go.

Today on BnHA: In what is unfortunately the single worst plan ever concocted by anyone in BnHA, Nagant is all “I’m going to try and get this Deku kid to panic and freeze up by putting someone in mortal danger.” Deku is all, “[doesn’t panic and freeze up at the sight of someone in mortal danger].” Nagant is all “omg no way.” Deku, who is now all of a sudden being so OP that even I have to acknowledge that it’s OP lol, is all “[smashes Nagant’s gun arm to bits]”, which sucks but is also really cool, and which also apparently makes Nagant decide that she actually likes this kid after all. Deku is all “NAGANT I REALLY LIKE YOU AND THINK YOU’RE GREAT SO PLEASE JOIN UP WITH ME AND STOP BEING EVIL.” Nagant is all “aw shucks (✿ •͈ᴗ•͈) well okay then” and everyone is all “( ･◡･) ✰ ( ˆᴗˆ ) ( ᵘ ᵕ ᵘ ⁎)” and then Nagant FUCKING EXPLODES LIKE AN EGG IN THE MICROWAVE AND FALLS TO HER DEATH!!!! except not really because Hawks saves her??? In conclusion, (a) THE FUCK, and (b) AFO TURN ON YOUR LOCATION I JUST WANT TO TALK.

so I have to tell you guys something, which is that barely ten minutes after I made that “please don’t send me spoilers” post the other day, someone replied to the comments in a stunning fit of “tell me that you’re twelve without actually telling me you’re twelve” energy and posted what seemed to be the copy-pasted spoiler summary from reddit or twitter or whatever lol. so here is my good news/bad news rundown of all that

good news: I have very well-conditioned ABORT!! reflexes and have trained myself to immediately look away from the screen (usually in dramatic fashion) as soon as I realize that whatever I’m reading is a spoiler

bad news: unfortunately as I was subsequently deleting said comments, I accidentally read the very last one

good news??: said spoiler was so unbelievably, absurdly over-the-top that I’m almost positive this person was just trolling. like, there’s just no way lmao

bad news: but in the unlikely event that it is true I will absolutely lose my shit I swear to god

(ETA: “NAGANT DIES.” that was the spoiler I read lol. like, literally all I read from the person’s comments was “My Hero Academia Chapter 315 Title: “Beautiful Words.” Chapter starts with...” and then I noped out of there, and then of all the comments to read as I was deleting, it had to be that one lol. I seriously was just like “SURE, JAN.” all “just how gullible do you think I am” sob. but I was wrong. a troll, but an honest troll they remain.

but anyways like I’m pretty sure Nagant isn’t even actually dead lol, so in the end this whole little adventure doesn’t even have a point to it, but for me it was a journey!)

anyway, so there are apparently two versions of the chapter today?? no idea what the difference is, but I’m going to go with the Bean version, because it’s the one at the top and I don’t feel like making decisions today

huh, so Overhaul is actually more coherent than Horikoshi was letting on

look at him having a whole back and forth conversation with her. side note, how is he still this jacked when he’s been sitting in a cell doing absolutely nothing for the past six months

anyway so he says he’ll go with her on one condition. I wonder what that condition could possibly be. do you think it could be the thing he literally hasn’t shut up about ever since he reappeared lol

yep! and damn -- maybe this guy will surprise me after all

still would be nice if you also felt a bit sorry for the little girl you tortured and traumatized, but this is something at least. maybe Deku will yell at him for that other stuff lol

(ETA: also can’t help but wonder if he wants to make amends because he put him in a coma, or because his plan was a failure and ended up destroying the family. just hoping you’ve finally had that “hurting other people is bad” epiphany dude.)

anyways so now Nagant’s arm is transforming again, and this particular transformation happens to be the only truly unsexy thing that Nagant has done thus far so I’m just gonna skip right on ahead lol

aaaaand we’re back to the delirious ranting

buddy. just. read the fucking room, guy

wow she really is aiming at Overhaul, then. those theories were spot-on

damn she’s really out here all “it really fucks with kids’ heads when you kill people right in front of them and make them blame themselves” like yo

I’m picturing her saying all this in a very loud stage-whispery tone while making very significant eye contact with Deku lol

uh oh but wait

um. okay. who’s gonna tell her. Nagant I might have some bad news for you about the kid you’re trying to capture here. specifically about the way he tends to do the opposite of what you’re thinking that he’s about to do

holy shit

so it’s basically just “tap x repeatedly to charge up your attack” lol

and okay, so that’s cool and all, but is anyone else wincing at the thought of what that must be like on his knees. oh to be young

anyway, but so to the surprise of basically no one, Deku did not, in fact, freeze. I am very sorry, Nagant. he’s just like this

LMAO

someone wanna tell me how getting yoloed in the fucking ribs by this fucking slingshot kid moving at literal sniper bullet speed is in any way even remotely better than getting hit by the bullet itself lol

(ETA: this is 10x funnier now that we know the bullet wasn’t even gonna hit him lmao.)

anyway so now Nagant is having an extended “!?!?!?” reaction about how Deku just moved with no hesitation, and I’m starting to get an inkling of fear that the rest of this fight isn’t going to go very well for her and maybe that’s what all the “hoo boy” is about

oh my god Deku are you about to Gomu Gomu no Rocket yourself at her you insane little man

now Three is popping up again and he’s all “I see you’ve learned your lesson and are now only using three quirks at once instead of five” like with all this effusive praise about how great and badass Deku is and sob, okay, yeah. this chapter is basically one of those machines that shoots tennis balls at people, except instead of tennis balls it shoots hot piping discourse

OH MY GOD

YOOOOOOOOOO but also, NOOOOOOOOOOO

lol oh my god it’s literally two opposing reactions at once wtf. do I love this or hate this. like just for once can Horikoshi actually let a badass lady character win their fucking fight without getting their arm ripped off, BUT ALSO fucking look at that absurdly cool “SMASH” onomatopoeia though. it looks like it’s about to float right off the page holy shit that’s some seriously good art

anyway so is this really the end?? do I need to break out my ಠ_ಠ faces

lmao okay yeah I can definitely see how this would piss a lot of people off

he basically one-shotted her and she’s all “damn this kid is so amazing that I’m about to do a complete 180 turn on all of my previous angst” lmao. Horikoshi is really shounening it up today

on the plus side though, maybe this means there’s still a chance for her to join up with him after all? unless that spoiler was true lmao, then all hell is gonna break loose

YESSSSSSS

OH MY GOD AND HE SAYS THE BULLET WOULDN’T HAVE DONE MORE THAN GRAZE OVERHAUL ANYWAY, wow, I’m actually more relieved by that than I would have expected. I mean I would have forgiven her either way, but it means that there was still more hero in her than she was letting on

YES!!! FUCKING YES, THANK YOU

lol but I mean, it’s also like, “oh so today they get to have brain cells”, thank you so much lol. sometimes it’s really hard to tell which times we’re supposed to question these character decisions that seem dumb, and which times we’re just supposed to full on embrace them and switch off our critical thinking

but okay, so in this case it really was Nagant going easy on him on purpose, and not just her fucking up for no good reason even though she used to do this for a living and was the best in the game. and I know in this case it’s probably just Horikoshi giving us some consolation headpats to soften the blow of her losing so abruptly, but you know what, shit. I’ll take it

also you guys the light is coming back into Deku’s eyes again for just a moment here and I’m having feels about it?? the way it still comes back when he’s reaching out to save someone, and following his own hero path instead of the much darker and lonelier Christopher Nolan path that’s been laid out for him instead that he never wanted?? it’s both reassuring and also very sad

YESSSSSSSSSSS

DO IT LADY OMG PLEASE?? PLEASE COME BE HIS NEW IRRESPONSIBLE ADULT SUPERVISION YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO

AHHHHHHH SHE’S GONNA DO IT AHHHH

p.s. I am now absolutely scared shitless that that spoiler was actually true sob. swear to god, I will throw this manga into a fucking volcano. but we’re almost at the end of the chapter and this seems just WAY TOO GOOD to be true fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck f

UCK

NOPE NAH SEND IT BACK, NOPE, NUH UH, DIDN’T ORDER THIS. “GULLIBLE” OKAY FUCK YOU?? “COUNTERMEASURES” NOPE, DON’T NEED ‘EM, WE’RE ALL FINE HERE. WE’RE ACTUALLY GOOD SO YOU CAN JUST GO, OKAY. PLEASE

fuck, lol, I don’t wanna do it. I don’t wanna scroll down what have I ever done to deserve this oh my god

WHAT THE HONEY-ROASTED FUCK

WHERE THE FUCK IS THAT FUCKING VOLCANO IN ICELAND THAT I KEEP SEEING ALL THESE PICTURES OF. WHERE THE FUCK IS THAT SHIT. LET’S GO

ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW

can someone please give AFO a really good, sharpish kick in the balls. just really let him have it. I’m so tired, what the fuck

-- ARE YOU KIDDING ME LOL WHAT

bro. I was literally going through my Excel folders to find the spreadsheet about female characters in BnHA that I made back when Midnight died. was gearing myself up for a wholeass rant. and honestly I might just let all of that continue simmering on low to keep it warm just in case lol, because to tell you the truth I have absolutely no idea what’s happening right now

my girl straight up does not have a face. she used to have a face. people usually need those, idk. like, even if she’s alive, her gorgeous eyebrows are definitely not making it out of this and I’m gonna throw a funeral just for them

how the fuck did AFO just blow her up?? how did he know what was going on?? and if he had a quirk that could explode people at will, why is this the first we’re hearing of it?? you’d think that might have come in handy at Kamino or Jakku, like what

(ETA: present!me, who’s had more than three hours of sleep and can now actually remember facts about the series, would like to remind past!me that AFO gave Nagant a quirk, and so this is probably just more Vestige shenanigans now on his part. that’s also probably why Air Walk suddenly stopped working out of nowhere. still doesn’t explain why he doesn’t go around blowing people up more often though but maybe he thinks it’s gauche.)

Hawks just straight up out of nowhere. just Mirioed his way straight into the chapter just in time to be too late sob. here I was looking forward to seeing your face when Deku showed up with his new best friend. can’t believe Horikoshi deprived us of that moment

on the plus side, WELCOME BACK, HAWKS’S FEATHERS. I have no doubt that in this chapter of Deku being an almighty threequirk-mastering god, and Nagant losing anticlimactically only to be immediately blown up because girl characters in BnHA can only be cool for one fight and one fight only, there are still some people who are focusing solely on the “how dare Hawks get his wings back when he is a MURDERER this is an outrage what about CONSEQUENCES” discourse, and to hell with all the other discourses lmao

anyway, so yeah. wow. and now it’s just occurring to me that maybe the real reason why Overhaul is there is so he can get a head start on that amend-making by actually doing a good thing for once in his life, and using his quirk to heal Nagant. assuming he can still do that

and so now Horikoshi has got me out here actually rooting for Overhaul. you know what, on that note I think I’m just gonna go ahead and call it a day sob

[vtforpedro]

long, long health update - tw in tags please read them

I am going to speak very frankly about suicidal ideation; please don't read further if this is triggering for you ;3; but please know that I love you I had my follow-up appt with my neuropsych on monday to go over my results and whatnot. it was virtual, and I was in the middle of a head episode and I told her I wasn't doing well, but within about 5-10 minutes, she was saying I should probably go to the ER lkajflaj I guess it looked pretty bad lmao anyway I told her all the reasons I couldn't. medical trauma, being dismissed b/c I have doctors who manage my headaches, and I know it's not life-threatening even if it is 10/10 agonizing, so why are you here. they're so dismissive. she said that they have medication to possibly help break the cycle of constant migraines but I've been treated with those before and they didn't do shit migraines are secondary to iih. it's the iih that needs to be fixed ._. she said I still deserved to not suffer and that the ER is very strict about keeping covid patients away from other patients and I didn't have the heart to tell her they intubated a covid patient 10-15 feet away from me last time I was in an ER 😭 anyway so the results. she said she wasn't worried about anything going on that was concerning or indicating something wrong in my brain. I DID score quite a bit lower for someone my age on information processing (which is exactly what I said I was struggling with to my two neuros who were both like ehhh) and some issues with memory but they weren't super specific and so it could be something neurological, could be my migraines and constant agony lmao, could be my Emotional State. could be all of them at once, I suppose ;) she went into more detail about some of these things but it was the two questionnaires I filled out that were HNNN. so once all the data is entered from like 300 questions it shows a good look into my personality and perceptions and all that and it makes a cool little graph (OR SO I THOUGHT). the kind that looks like mountain peaks. so she points at the one that is waaay higher than the rest and nearly touching the top of the box and she's like 'do you see this one' me: yeah 😬 her: this is your feelings and ideations about suicide me: 😬 😩 😬 her: when I see a score this high, I stop what I'm doing and I call the police to have them escort you to a hospital me: 😬😬😬😬😬 her: but I didn't do that. because when we spoke in office you told me you felt this way and why you don't do it. you told me it's something you've lived with for a long time and the pain you are suffering is what makes it so bad. and I trust you me: 😭😭😭 okay her: do you see this line down here? this is people who have suicidal ideation recorded on this test. you scored 98% higher on suicidal ideation compared to people reporting suicidal ideation HNNNNNN. she said it probably wasn't surprising to me and asked me if I was safe again and all that. I assured her I was and said in my previous appointment; I've had suicidal thoughts since I was like 12? maybe earlier. there have been very few times in my life not surrounded by abuse and trauma so I'm never really free of it. I've had four traumatic incidents causing increasingly horrible episodes of ptsd in nine years. all through my 20s. still here woo, lol and she said she knew that and had a patient not long after my first appointment who had similar circumstances in their life. and they told her it's almost a comfort having it. cause I was saying it's in the back of my mind at all times and I won't do it, but yeah, it's always there. anyway she said they said the same thing; it's always there, always in the background as 'hey I'm an option!' even though we aren't going to harm ourselves. it's a comfort knowing there is an option even if we plan on never using it? idk it just spoke to me and I felt it in my soul we talked about some emotional stuff after and I cried and it was a thing. it felt really good to speak to a psychologist who, just as she was in the first appointment, seemed genuinely concerned and wanted to help

me. I told her I was ready for therapy and she said she'd already looked for therapists for me lkasjdlkja and gave me a group that I emailed yesterday. I don't think they'll take my insurance but she said to message her through the portal if they don't and she'll try to find someone who does I don't remember if I mentioned it, but since she knew about the head shit before I met her, she dimmed her office lights without asking if I needed it and like as soon as we started the virtual visit, she leaped up and dimmed them and said she should've thought about it before the appt 😭 (I keep my brightness really low on my computer and use the warming feature 24/7 on comp and phone and my apt is really dimmed but it still helped a lot when she did it) she kept saying 'you did nothing wrong. it was the choice of others to do what they did. you don't deserve to carry their choices. you deserve to be able to hand it back to them. you don't deserve to be in pain. you did nothing wrong. you deserve to be free of what they did and you deserve to not suffer in such physical pain' I'm so wary of doctors but I really like her and I feel fortunate to have been referred to her ;3; speaking for a long time and especially emotionally is hard for me, so I might try to do two sessions a month once I find a therapist and see if I'm ok with that. trying to keep everything virtual while delta is out there I read her report and her official diagnosis is uhh really strong for major depressive disorder, severe. and severe ptsd with disassociative symptoms so!!! I claimed both of those on my disability application and the person handling my claim told me when I had this appt to call and let her know because she wanted the info. I signed a release the day I was there when I told my neuropsych that cause MH stuff is different than other medical records. she said she faxed it to the woman handling my disability application but I was gonna call her and ask if she received it and also tell her I have a new neuro so she will probably request his stuff too I called today and her voicemail box is full so lol try again later today's been awful. last night was horrible. got a bill for over $800 from my colonoscopy/endoscopy even though I asked numerous times if insurance was covering it and was told yep, every penny. so I was on the phone with insurance and the surgery center for 45 minutes. insurance seemed confused af but the agent I spoke with got some help from people who handle this stuff I guess finally she told me not to pay it, they're going to send them a letter to get it sorted (idk if this means I won't have to pay it at all or if they're going to try to make it that way. but I think govt insurance, which is what I have, works differently. like doctors kinda have to follow what they say vs. the other way around) and not worry about it for the next 30 days. I'm still gonna worry about it lmao they used a nice scare tactic on the bill that this was the 'LAST AND FINAL NOTICE' despite the fact they've never sent me anything else. my mom and the insurance agent said nah that's just what they do to scare people into paying fuckin love america <3 land of the free. the american dream! greatest country on earth 💜🖕💜 I just don't want it to go to collections and have to fight credit bureaus to get it off my credit so it's not destroyed |: anyway my head hit like 10/10 bad while I was on the phone cause of the talking a lot and trying to PROCESS INFORMATION and stress and also the fucking hold music, which I have to hear in some way b/c I gotta know when they're back on the line hnnnnn bad day. it's 1pm and bad, bad, bad day. bad month all around. I want this shit to stop anyway. I'm sorry about the suicidal ideation talk, but it's important to talk about that stuff. it can get severe but it can also get better. it does, eventually, even if it comes and goes. it always does get better I'm sorry, I also really needed to get this down somewhere. feel like I'm going to explode emotionally AND physically and I need to talk about it. hopefully

soon I'll have a therapist to talk to so I can get a lot of this stuff worked on. got my whole life to chat about so it'll probably take a long time but I'm willing to let it lmao therapy doesn't usually work for me anymore but idk I've had a lot of shit happen in less than two years so maybe it will this time I'm trying! I really am trying if you read this rambling monster, thank you. love you all and please stay safe

[lemonpeter]

Sugar and Spice

Chapter 2

Sorry this one is slightly shorter, I just wanted to get the actual information and plot with all the complicated bits out of the way lol and liked the way this ended 💕 next week will be a much longer chapter with more fun stuff. I hope everyone enjoys 💕

Warnings: medical discussions, talk of a procedure (IUI) (Intrauterine Insemination), discussion of pregnancy

1.7K words

————

So much paperwork.

Peter and Tony felt like they were drowning in paperwork, something new to fill out or finalize every time they got a chance to relax. It was exhausting.

They kept telling themselves that it was worth it. It would all be worth it to have their beautiful baby in the end.

They’d had in their minds that Beatrice was going to be their surrogate since that first in-person meeting with her. So all it had taken was finishing up the remainder of the official process for them to have it all in writing. No more tense meetings, very little questions or concerns. She was who they wanted. And she was happy to work with them.

It was beyond relieving when they got the notice that they had finally finished all of their side of the legal process. And Beatrice was finishing up hers as they spoke.

It wouldn’t be too much longer before the insemination process started. Then things would really get rolling.

Everyone involved was excited.

Peter laid in bed with Tony the night it was all finalized, arms wrapped around his husband. They had laid in silence for a while, each thinking their own thoughts and processing the events of the busy day.

They’d finished up their paperwork. Beatrice had finished hers just before their lawyer closed his office for the night. Just in time. So the rest of the process could be started in the morning.

Tony sighed softly, breaking Peter out of his thoughts.

“What is it?” He asked softly.

“I just...are you sure that you’re okay with the baby biologically being mine? And not yours,” Tony asked quietly. It had been on his mind a lot. He knew they’d been through it all, pros and cons, and decided together. But he wanted to be sure that his husband wouldn’t regret it.

Peter’s expression softened. “Of course it’s okay. And- aside from all the paperwork for it being finished now- there’s nothing I’d do to change it. This is the best option, Tones.”

It was no secret that Tony was getting older. And there was no telling how much longer he would be fertile enough to help conceive a child. Peter was still younger, if they later decided to have another child then he would be the donor. But for this baby, it was decided that Tony was the best choice.

“Okay, honey. Okay. If you’re sure.” Tony turned slightly, kissing Peter gently. “This is just such a big thing. I want everything to be perfect. No regrets.”

“I promise you there won’t be any regrets. I promise, Tony,” Peter whispered. “Now...it’s been a long day, yeah? We should get to sleep. You get cranky if you don’t get your eight hours,” he teased.

Tony huffed softly, trying to mask the laugh that came with it. “Says Mr. I’ll kill you if you wake me up before eight.”

Peter laughed, holding his husband close. He moved one leg over his hip, relaxing as he got into a more comfortable position. “Sleep. Then we’ll both be happy.”

“Uh huh. Goodnight, honey.”

“Goodnight, grumpy.”

————

They were in contact with Beatrice the next morning, going over all that would have to be done.

A meeting was set up for a few days later so they could talk face to face. And it was the last time they’d see each other before the actual procedure.

Being so close to the big day made both nerves and excitement high.

They met up at the same cafe as before, gathered around the table and were comfortable as they talked.

“You don’t need to worry, I’ve already been monitoring my cycle for weeks now, since we started talking. Just so we wouldn’t have to wait too long to see where things were, yeah?” Beatrice told them with a smile.

It wasn’t her first time, so she already knew what to expect. And she was happy to walk the couple through the entire process.

“Yeah, that’s really helpful. Perfect, even.” Tony nodded. “So...what’s next?”

“Next we do the actual IUI because if we don’t within twenty four hours of ovulation, we’ve gotta wait all over again. And that’s not ideal.”

“And- so you’ve already got the stuff?” Tony asked her, fingers tapping at the table. It wasn’t that he was ashamed of what they were doing- it just didn’t seem like appropriate coffee shop conversation to ask if she had his sperm samples. So he tried to casually avoid the actual phrasing.

“Don’t make it sound like I’m doing drugs, please.” Beatrice laughed. “But yes, I have the stuff. If you don’t want to call it what it actually is. The procedure is gonna be done tomorrow, if you want to come see me or anything.”

Peter tugged on Tony’s arm gently. “We’ll definitely come see you,” he assured the woman. “You have to stay there a little while, right?”

“Yep! Gives everything a chance to settle in and…” she gestured vaguely towards her stomach. “Yknow. Take hold.” She chuckled.

The man nodded. “That makes sense. But...there’s a chance it won’t take after just the first cycle,” he said nervously. “Right?” He’d done a lot of research, wanting to understand what she’d be going through for them.

She sighed softly. “There’s always that chance. But we just have to hope for the best. I’ve been on medications that are supposed to increase fertility, your man here has nothing wrong with his end of the bargain, so we should be good to go.” She gave him a reassuring smile.

“You’re just going to say everything but the technical term now, aren’t you?” Tony asked, trying not to look amused. He failed.

“Oh, that’s on you. You refused to say it first, now I’m gonna do everything I can to avoid saying it as well,” Beatrice said innocently. “Wouldn’t want to make my intended parents uncomfortable.”

Peter laughed, covering his mouth. Oh, there was no doubt in his mind that she was the perfect person to be helping them. There were a lot of other good factors, but the fact that she had a sense of humor and was even willing to tease Tony made everything that much easier. Nothing tense between any of them. It was all light and fun and as easy as possible.

“Okay, yeah, I guess I did start this,” Tony agreed, snorting. “Whatever. Have your fun.” He gave her a more sincere smile. “But I do hope everything goes well tomorrow.”

“It’ll be fine,” she assured them. “Nothing I haven’t done before.”

“Not too much pain?”

“Not much. And I’ve been through worse, so it’s alright. And it’ll be worth it,” she told them. “It will all be worth it to me for your baby.”

Her phone chimed and she glanced down to check the notification. She smiled a little. “My ex is dropping off Nikki. So I can let you guys go,” she told them, answering the text quickly. She’d told them all about her own daughter during their various meetings, gushed about how much she loved her.

She really loved being a parent. And she loved being able to help others be the same.

“Maybe we could-“ Peter stopped himself, shaking his head. “Sorry. That was definitely overstepping. Forget it.” He didn’t want to overstep, asking to meet the woman’s child. It was different than asking to meet a child she was just a surrogate for, he knew, but he still didn’t want to make her uncomfortable at all.

“No, finish what you were going to say. It’s okay,” she told him.

“I just...maybe we could meet her? I don’t know, I just kind of want to meet your daughter.” He smiled a little. He wanted to meet the girl that would technically be his child’s half sister. And he kind of wanted to see Beatrice interacting with her daughter.

“Of course! Yeah, that’s totally okay,” Beatrice assured him. “She’ll be here in just a couple minutes. I’ll warn you, she’s kinda shy, but you two are fairly calm so she should warm up quickly.”

Peter glanced to Tony. “I mean, I’m calm. You might have to work on it,” he joked.

“I bet she’ll like me sooner than she’ll like you,” he challenged.

Beatrice snorted, shaking her head. “Are you fighting over my kid now? Maybe you two should just get home and relax. Already trying to be competitive.”

Tony laughed. “Nah, we’ll be fine. I wanna meet the little squirt. And-“

His phone went off, lighting up with a notification from Pepper. “Shit, I must have forgotten something.” He read over the text, wincing. “Forgot to send her that document...Which is sitting on my desk at home. Tell Nikki we’re sorry we missed her, next time. I’ve gotta get this to Pep.”

Peter pouted, bottom lip poking out. He knew they had to get home. But it didn’t mean he had to like it. He had really wanted to meet the girl. But he figured that it could wait until a little later. It wasn’t like there was much choice. “Okay, okay.”

He stood up, pushing his chair in. “We’ll see you tomorrow, B, the procedure is at…?”

“Noon,” she answered, a soft smile on her face.

“Then we'll be there at one. Does that sound alright?” He asked, grabbing his phone and tucking it into his pocket.

Beatrice nodded. “Of course. I’ll see you then!” She said happily.

“We’ll be thinking of you,” Tony told her. “Hoping everything goes smoothly. And we’ll be right there once it’s done.”

“That sounds perfect,” she told them. “Now shoo, don’t want you to miss anything for work. I’ll see you tomorrow. I’ll text you when I’m going in and once I’m out.”

The couple nodded, saying their goodbyes and heading to the car.

“Sweet guys,” Beatrice murmured to herself, smiling. She glanced up when she heard an enthusiastic ‘Mommy!’ and caught the four year old that ran to her.

Being a parent was something she loved more than anything. And as she hugged Nikki close, she watched Tony and Peter’s car drive away.

Being a parent wasn’t something she’d recommend for everyone. But she was beyond thrilled to be able to help others that clearly were going to be good parents. She was happy to be able to give them the opportunity.

[daveeddiggsit]

Broken, but Not Shattered: Sneak Peak

WIDEOUT MASTERLIST

Note: Okay, I feel like I’m spoiling y’all a little bit (a lot) bc this is over 1k words from the next part of Wideout, but rn in its entirety it’s over 7k, so honestly I have a lot to give out without giving the full plot away lol. Anyways, enjoy!! As always, lemme know your thoughts 😁

Also, yes... Maria is bi af and she falls in love with a cheerleader bc i’m like that.

You have never ever, in your seven years of best friendship, seen Maria act extremely nervous around a girl… let alone need your help to talk to someone she likes. There’s something about this Ellie girl that has turned Maria completely shy and you can’t help but gush at how cute the both of them are.

“Oh, yeah! I’d really like that.” Ellie says happily, causing Maria to grin. They both turn around to walk towards the ice-cream truck and Maria stops for a second, noticing that you’re not with them.

“Y/N, are you coming?” She asks, slightly more comfortable now that Ellie’s accepted her offer. 

“No, you guys go. I just uh…” You try to think of an excuse when suddenly your phone vibrates, luckily giving you one. You glance down at it, seeing a text pop up from your boyfriend. “I just got a text from Thomas, so I should probably go meet him. You guys have fun, though!”

Ellie nods, saying, “We will! See you around, Y/N,” before gently grabbing Maria’s arm to lead her away. 

Beaming, Maria turns her head towards you and mouths, “thanks, love you.” You send her a wink and blow her a kiss, watching her walk away with her soon-to-be beau. This is the happiest you’ve seen her in a long time and you’re beyond excited to see her finally want to start dating someone again after her last breakup with her lying ex-boyfriend, Alexander.

Satisfied with your work, you turn to walk through the crowds of students and towards the underneath of the bleachers: the breathtakingly romantic spot Thomas has chosen for you to meet.

When you arrive, you don’t spot him for a second before you feel a pair of arms snake around your waist from behind. A familiar voice sounds next to your ear, causing you to shiver unintentionally. “You’re looking mighty cute today, princess. You come here often?”

You relax against the warm body behind you once you realize who the voice belongs to. A small smile spreads across your cheeks as you respond. “Under the bleachers? Nah. I’m only here because I’m waiting for my boyfriend.”

“Oh?” You can hear the smile in his voice as his arms wrap more snuggly around you. “Well, he must be a very lucky guy.”

You lean your head back against Thomas’ shoulder. “Yep. Extremely lucky, considering the fact that we’re both standing in the space where people do God knows what during games.”

He just laughs and nuzzles his face into your neck, his warm breath fanning out against you. He presses a few kisses there before his lips trail up to your cheek to press a chaste kiss there as well. “I was wonderin’ how long it was gonna take for you to show up.” Thomas murmurs against your skin and your eyes flutter shut at the contact.

You muster up the strength to turn your body in his arms so that you can face him. Thomas is breathtakingly handsome as always, sporting his football jersey over a dark hoodie and a pair of black ripped jeans. He’s beaming and smiling down at you like you’re his whole world. 

“It wasn’t that long.” You roll your eyes with a lazy grin tugging at your lips. “I was hanging with Maria until we ran into Ellie, so I left them alone to come meet you.”

“Yeah? They together yet? They keep dancin’ around each other; one of them needs to make a move.”

You laugh at Thomas’ words. “Hey, you make it sound like it’s easy.”

“They’re so obviously into each other! They need to just confess their feelings and get together. Can’t be that difficult.” Thomas shrugs, looking down at you.

You just give him a pointed look. “You’re one to talk, Jefferson. Do you remember how nervous you were before our first kiss? Your hands were literally shaking…”

Thomas withdraws his touch from your waist and crosses his arms over his chest. He licks his lips and looks away for a second before he speaks. “Alright, alright, come on, now.” His deadpanned gaze shifts back to you, but the glint in his eyes is playful. “You still gonna hold that over me? It’s almost been a year.”

You splay your arms out innocently as your mouth falls open with a smile. “It was cute!”

“I was vulnerable, Y/N!” He responds dramatically with wide eyes. “I didn’t know what you were feeling. What if you’d rejected me?”

“Well, I didn’t.” You take a step closer to him, reaching your hands up to wrap around his forearms to pull his arms back down around you, but he doesn’t budge. Instead, you’re just standing there with your hands on his forearms as you two stare at each other. “T, I obviously didn’t reject you.”

“I know that now.” Thomas finally unfolds his arms and brushes his hands up your arms and down your body before they come to a stop at your waist again. He hugs you close to him before he speaks again. “But I wasn’t sure if you were even into me like that back then.”

You grin, looking up at him and settling your hands on his chest. “Exactly, so don’t blame El and M for not rushing things. Let them figure it out on their own.”

“Alright, point made, sweetheart, point made.” He laughs, rolling his eyes before staring down at you with a gaze that you can’t quite describe. It makes your breath catch in your throat and your heart swell. You can’t put your finger on it, but it’s soft but firm at the same time and it has a certain fondness to it that you can’t decipher — it’s like he’s sure of something, but doesn’t want to voice it. 

The comfortable silence between you stretches on as he continues to stare unabashedly. 

Your fingers grab a hold of the black polyester material of his jersey to pull him closer. “What?” You ask, breathing out a nervous laugh.

Thomas snaps out of his gaze by releasing a chuckle before he leans down, causing his face to near yours. His smile reaches his eyes and causes your heart to soar. “Nothin’... just—” His eyes flicker down to your lips for a split second. “You’re a good friend, baby.”

“Yeah?” You whisper, grinning as your noses brush against each other.

“Mhm.” He hums before he leans in to sweetly press his mouth to yours.

[ambivalent-auguries]

✩ winkikkekk 4 ethan

Send ‘✩’ for the following:

Disagreements:

Who is more likely to raise their voice? Nikki 100% Who threatens to leave but never actually does? Nikki again lol Who actually keeps their word and leaves? Ethan because a bitch is stubborn lol Who trashes the house? Neither, really?  Do either of them get physical? Nah, it would never get to that point How often do they argue/disagree? Not that often, they get into their lil competitions and disagreements and miscommunications here and there but ye for the most part they just chill lol Who is the first to apologise? Ethan 100% yep mans is weak

Sex:

Who is on top? Does it matter?? I have a feeling Nikki would more often Who is on the bottom? As above lol Altho Nikki has bottom energy around Ethan, I still think Ethan would be like: ye daddy you fine take me lol Who has the strangest desires? Unless there is a hidden part of Nikki that likes leather or some shit I don’t know about, neither lol  Any kinks? Eye contact, low voices, scratches or grabbing/being grabbed for Ethan, Nikki don’t know much lol He likes it not to be awkward LOL Who’s dominant in bed? Both Is head ever in the equation? Yeah boy  If so, who is better at performing it? Ethan who else lol Ever had sex in public? They probably wouldn’t lol  Who moans the most? Neither, not too much  Who leaves the most marks? Ethan lol Who screams the loudest? Neither lol Who is the more experienced of the two? Ethan oop sorry Nik Do they ‘fuck’ or ‘make love’? Make love uwu Nikki just outwardly cringed at that while blushing because he kinda enjoys that looool Rough or soft? Soft with A BIT of rough How long do they usually last? OOP That’s a question for you, Nikki, you deprived man lol They do alright lol Is protection used? Yeah they’re responsible adults  Does it ever get boring? Maybe, but not really because Ethan loves this man and he would do anything to please him lol Where is the strangest place they’d have sex? A bathroom stall in a sports bar loool

Family:

Do your muses plan on having children/or have children? KIMMY EXISTS and we all love her; Ethan used to be a dad :( If so, how many children do your muses want/have? Ethan is happy to just adopt Kimmy and Nikki’s had enough lol  Who is the favorite parent? Ethan loooool SORRY IT’S TRUE  Who is the authoritative parent? Ethan lol Nikki is weak against that lil pumpkin lol Who is more likely to allow the children to have a day off school? Nikki again because he a weak man lol Who lets the children indulge in sweets and junk food when the other isn’t around? Nikki again lool  Who turns up to extra curricular activities to support their children? BOTH They both care a lot  Who goes to parent teacher interviews? Both, they tag team the teacher into submission lol Who changes the diapers? Both, Ethan probably more if they ever had a baby Who gets up in the middle of the night to feed the baby? Ethan would more so do that, both if we talking about calming Kimmy down after a nightmare  Who spends the most time with the children? They both try to get time in  Who packs their lunch boxes? Ethan lol when he packs his and Nikki’s  Who gives their children ‘the talk’? Kimmy gives herself the talk LOL Who cleans up after the kids? Kimmy is so good, she don’t need no man to clean  Who worries the most? They both worry, Nikki probably more  Who are the children more likely to learn their first swear word from? Nikki and it would be ‘fuck’ LOL

Affection:

Who likes to cuddle? Ethan loves it, Nikki is getting a taste for it hehe  Who is the little spoon? Depends on their mood lol Who gets naughty in the most inappropriate of places? Ethan lol Who struggles to keep their hands to themself?  Ethan lol How long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable? Depends, but it’s probably Nikki who squirms away first lol Who gives the most kisses? Ethan because he’s loving like that such a good boy What is their favourite non-sexual activity? Honestly, anything, just chilling - watching TV, going out to have a drink, having food together, watching sports, spending time with Kimmy - they like doing things together lol Where is their favourite place to cuddle? Bed, because Kimmy can’t tease them about it lol Who is more likely to playfully grope the other? Ethan yep How often do they get time to themselves? They do alright, not THAT much but plenty after Kimmy goes down for the night 

Sleeping:

Who snores? Neither??  If both do, who snores the loudest? N/A Do they share a bed or sleep separately? Ethan forces his way into Nikki’s bed looool If they sleep together, do they cozy up together or lay far apart? Cosy up because Ethan is a touch thirsty bitch  Who talks in their sleep? Probably Nikki lol  What do they wear to bed? Jogging bottoms and t-shirt  Are either of your muses insomniacs? Nah Can sleeping pills be found by the bedside? Nope Do they wrap their limbs around each other or just lay side by side? Lay side by side, they too tall for any limb wrapping lol Who wakes up with bed hair? Nikki and Ethan adores it haha  Who wakes up first? Ethan, he’s stupid early Who prepares breakfast in bed for the other? Ethan uwu What is their favourite sleeping position? Side by side, on their sides, they have like an arm thrown around the other, very casual Who hogs the sheets? Nikki because he’s not used to sleeping with someone in his bed lol Do they set an alarm each night? Kimmy does lol Can a television be found in their bedroom? Don’t think so, they watch TV in the living room  Who has nightmares? Neither of them tho, maybe Ethan sometimes when things resurface Who has ridiculous dreams? Neither  Who sprawls out and takes up most of the bed? Nikki lol Who makes the bed?  Either of them, maybe they take turns What time is bed time? Mostly a reasonable time, but sometimes they may go wild and stay up later while having a good time out lol  Any routines/rituals before bed? Brushing their teeth side by side, checking in on Kimmy and Ethan makes a habit of reminding Nikki how much he likes him Who’s the grumpiest when they wake up? Both lol But probably Nikki 

Work:

Who is the busiest? Both are quire busy Who rakes in the highest income? Bro Nikki must be LOADED Are any of your muses unemployed? Nope Who takes the most sick days? Neither, Ethan pushes through like a champ and Nikki doesn’t even admit he’s sick lol Who is more likely to turn up late to work? Nikki, Ethan is so stupidly early for everything it pains me lol Who sucks up to their boss? NAH fam lol Ethan is also his own boss sooo What are their jobs? Nikki is uhhhh on the dark side while Ethan is a figure skating coach  Who stresses the most? Nikki Do your muses enjoy or despise their careers/occupations? Ethan does, Nikki fucking hates his ‘job’...  Are your muses financially stable? They are good adults, they even have savings 

Home:

Who does the washing? Both, Nikki does it more because Ethan cooks usually Who takes out the trash? Either of them Who does the ironing? Ethan Who does the cooking? Ethan mostly lol Kimmy helps, always Who is more likely to burn the house down just trying? NIKKI BRO do not leave this man alone with a stove, I fear for his life Who is messier? They are both like... Neither clean freaks nor slobs lol Who leaves the toilet roll empty? Ethan, because Nikki has been trained by Kimmy lol Who leaves their dirty clothes on the floor? Neither Who forgets to flush the toilet? Neither Who is the prankster around the house? Neither lol  Who loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere? Neither, they p good lol Who mows the lawn? Ethan doesn’t do it because he likes watching Nikki do it hehe  Who answers the telephone? Nikki  Who does the vacuuming? Ethan Who does the groceries? Ethan with Kimmy’s help - they bring Nikki along tho lol  Who takes the longest to shower? Neither, they are both p quick Who spends the most time in the bathroom? Neither of them are into bubble baths lol

Miscellaneous:

Is money a problem? Nope How many cars do they own? Two, they both own one (I think?) Do they own their home or do they rent? Own uwu  Do they live near the coast or deep in the countryside? Not near a coast, nope Do they live in the city or in the country? City, imagine these two living in the country side loool Do they enjoy their surroundings? I guess, they’re not complaining lol What’s their song? THIS STILL MAKES ME LAUGH IT’s so SAD What do they do when they’re away from each other? Get on with their lives lol Where did they first meet? A bar  How did they first meet? So... Nikki was like: oh shit, you’re my daughter’s coach and Ethan went: Ye whaddup baby I’ll drink you under the bar and Nikki went: I’ll drinkg you into putting your leg around your shoulders lol And he did loool Who spends the most money when out shopping? They are both good with money Who’s more likely to flash their assets? Neither  Who finds it amusing when the other trips over? Nikki laughs his ass off and viceversa loool Any mental issues? Ethan struggles with depression oop Who’s terrified of bugs? Nah they brave men  Who kills the spiders around the house? Kimmy does, I swear lol Their favourite place? I like to think they return to the bar they met in uwu Who pays the bills? They both do Do they have any fears for their future? Yeah, Nikki especially does, he doesn’t want to put Ethan or Kimmy in danger due to his job; Ethan is honestly scared of losing Nikki and Kimmy ugh Who’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner? Ethan, he’s sweet Who uses up all of the hot water? Neither of them do lol Who’s the tallest? Nikki is, but Kimmy is even taller when she’s on Ethan shoulders so who really wins here, eh?? Who’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other? Ethan lol Trying to cup a feel lol Who wanders around in their underwear? Neither lol Who sings the loudest when singing along to the radio? Neither do lol What do they tease each other about? Ethan teases Nikki about how shit he’s on the ice, Nikki teases Ethan about how much of a sap he can be lool Who is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense at times? They are both like... Kinda clueless lol shirt and slacks and gym clothes, that’s all they wear lol Do they have mutual friends? Kimmy ofc uwu Who crushed first? HARD ETHAN on this one lol poor mans suffered in silence :( Any alcohol or substance related problems? Ethan has struggled with alcohol addiction Who is more likely to stumble home, drunk, at 3am? BOTH loool They be having wild nights together lol Who swears the most? Nikki loool

[lovemesomesurveys]

What's your favourite sport? Do you prefer to watch it or play it?: I don’t like sports.

Who was the last person to send you a friend request on Facebook?: Some random person, so I denied it.

Have you ever been to that person's house?: Well, no.

How recently did you wash your hands?:  Like 10 minutes ago.

How many girls do you know named Emma?: I don’t know any Emma’s.

Are you upset, for any reason at all?: Not at this exact moment. 

How did you feel when you woke up today?:  I haven’t gone to bed, yet.

When you're stressed, what helps you to relax or calm down?: Watching TV, ASMR, reading, surveys... they can help distract anyway.

What were you doing before you started this survey?: Scrolling through Tumblr and listening to an ASMR video.

Is there something else you should be doing, that's more important?: Sleep. It’s 8AM, I should have gone to sleep hours ago

When was the last time you neglected to do something that you'd planned?: Hmm.

Is there someone that can always make you smile no matter how bad you feel?: Finn. Animals are far better at that than humans. <<< Agreed. My doggo can always make me smile.

Do you have any friends that you feel don't fully appreciate you?: Meh. I don’t think a whole lot of myself, so. <<< Same.

When was the last time someone told you that you were beautiful?: I don’t remember. 

Who was the last person that apologised to you?:  I don’t recall.

What were they apologising for?:

Do you think they meant it?:

Would you be embarrassed if your parents looked at your Facebook?: I have my mom on Facebook.

Describe the personality of the person you have feelings for.: I don’t like anyone in that way currently.

What does your pencil case look like? What's in it?: I have a plain baby blue case I’ve been using recently for my Bible study with some pens and highlighters in it.

In your Facebook friends list, who is the first person listed under 'D'?: Dad.

How did you meet him/her?: He met me the day I was born.

Did the last person you kissed have facial hair?:  Yeah, he had some scruff.

You're locked in a room with your ex. Any problems?: It’d be extremely awkward. I haven’t seen or talked to him in almost 5 years.

Be honest. What are you most afraid of?: Losing my loved ones and my health issues getting worse or never getting better.

In the last 24 hours, have you seen or spoken to anyone you dislike?: No.

What colour are the eyes of the last person that told you they loved you?: Brown.

What is a word or phrase that you say often?:  lol I often jokingly say, “what a day” after being up for only like an hour or after doing nothing all day (everyday). 

Name 3 songs that remind you of someone special.:  Nah.

How much chocolate do you have in your house atm, if any?:  We have Ho Hos.  

Who is the most intelligent person you know?: My younger brother.

Do you have younger siblings? If you do, are you protective of them?: ^^^ and yes.

Who was the last person you insulted?:  I don’t go around insulting people.

What are the other members of your household doing at this moment?: My mom and brother are asleep, my dad is at work.

Do you have any neighbours that you don't get along with?: No. I don’t interact with any of my neighbors.

How recently did you speak to the last person you kissed?: Not recent at all, it’s been almost 5 years.

Who was the last person you told to get lost, or something similar?:  I’ve said that to myself in regards to others, like if I see a rude/mean/troll comment on something or read about something crazy I’ll be like, ‘get outta here with all that.’

Give me a random line from the last song you listened to.: “ice on my neck I’m stunnin’

Have you ever had an argument with the last person you Facebook messaged?: No.

Do you have any plans for tonight?: Same stuff as always. If ya’ll have realized, my days are all very much the same.

Where were you at 9 o'clock last night?: Here at home watching, “I’m Thinking of Ending Things” on Netflix. That movie left me like wtf??? it was trippy. I read some articles about it and have a better understanding of it now, but it’s still pretty uh interesting. 

In the past week, have you slept past midday?: I’ve been getting up between 230-4PM for most of this year.

Is there anything happening tomorrow, that you're looking forward to?: Nope.

Is there anyone you used to be friends with, that you now dislike?:  No. I’ve grown apart from people, but I don’t dislike them.

What is your least favourite chocolate bar?: I haven’t had a candy bar in years.

Do any of your friends or relatives have the same birthday as you?: No, but I used to know someone with the same birthday.

Name the last song that made you cry.:  I get in the feels anytime I hear the acoustic version of Everlong by Foo Fighters because of the memory I have attached to it.

Who do you miss at this moment?: I’ll always miss my loved ones who passed away. I also miss one of my aunts, who I haven’t seen in like a year.

Where is that person?: She only lives like 45 minutes away.

Have you ever dyed your hair an unnatural colour?: I’ve dyed it red the past few years.

Have you had any deep conversations today?: It’s 830AM, I haven’t even talked to anyone yet.

Is your television on atm?: Yep.

If it is, what are you watching?:  The Golden Girls.

Are you wearing anything blue?:  Nope.

Who were the last 5 people to make you smile?: My mom, brother, and some people in TikTok and YouTube videos.

Do you use Twitter?:  I do.

Tell me about the last YouTube video you watched. It’s an ASMR video about a true crime story.

Is there anything else you'd like to say?: Nope.

[szopenhauer]

If money was no object, would you change your wardrobe? I would add to my wardrobe more than change

How do you/did you get to school? walk, then by bus

Have you ever been in trouble for something you honestly didn’t do? yep

Is the idea of having a secret admirer creepy or romantic? creepy

What was the last song you sung out loud? https://youtu.be/wycjnCCgUes

Were you excited to learn to drive, or scared? worried that I’ll waste my money

When was the last time you felt incredibly tired? today

In your opinion, who doesn’t deserve to be famous? many people

Was it hard for you to get up this morning? not really

When was the last time you colored with crayons or colored pencils? few months ago

Do you feel comfortable talking about your disorders, if you have them? depends

Where did you go on your last field trip? not sure which was last

Do you think you make a good first impression? no

Do other people’s first impressions stick with you? might

Have you ever had to give up on someone? sure

Would you rather break up with someone, or them break up with you? them break up with me (not my decision) but usually it’s the other way around

Do you think it’s okay to like a cover more than an original? umm...

Are you calm in emergency situations? depends

Who are you most attached to? my dad

What do you depend on other people for? money mostly :(

What goes through your mind when someone breaks up with you? depends

Do you match your shoes with your outfit? sometimes, it’s not that I have enough shoes to do that lol

Do you feel more comfortable with a male or female doctor/nurse? female 

What was the last thing you bragged about? not sure what was last

What’s the ugliest thing on your wall? umm...

Who’s your favorite philosopher? Schopenhauer because of all the memes

Do you think Freud was out of his mind? well I prefer Jung

Einstein? he was cool

Who’s your favorite painter/artist? I like many 

What day is it? Friday

Are you wearing anything blue?  nah

Do you know anyone named Graham? just bread :P

Are you sitting next to anyone? not currently

Do you dislike the last person you Facebook messaged? nope

Who’s the quietest of all your friends? K. always was 

Are you home alone right now? If so, where are the people you live with? my mom’s home, my dad is at work

Are you a chocoholic? noooo

Is there a song that reminds you of the person you love/like? Do you listen to that song often? one of them is t.a.t.u. - All the things she said

Do you listen to music while you fill out surveys? sometimes

In the past week, what song have you listened to the most often? not sure

While playing video games, do you prefer being first or second player? second 

How many people do you depend on? not many

How many people do you think depend on you? they could live without me

What is the worst color combination? brown and black?

Have you ever injured yourself walking around in the dark? yeah

What’s so scary about clowns, anyway? nothing to me and it’s annoying that they’re part of so many horrors

When was the last time you acted like someone you’re not? sigh...

How many hats do you own/wear? shitload

Do you ever receive comments on your weight? ppl are jealous of my weight so basically my illness :(

Is there anything that you do just to make other people happy? of course

What was the last thing that you wrote down [with a pen/pencil]? not sure what was last

Has anyone told you that you have a nice smile? my gf only

Are you uncomfortable with being photographed? yup

Do you like playing tic-tac-toe? I always win What about hangman? I played it couple of times Are you dangerously in love with someone? woah 

Are you cute or sexy? cute Is English your 1st language? it’s not Did you ever perform in front of your entire school? elementary - more than once Did your older sibling ever tell you freaky stories that you believed? one time she told me that school was flooded and there were fish and frogs and then I said that to my mom and she called me a liar and got mad even tho I explained to her it was my sister’s idea :(  Are you single and proud? you can be single and proud as well as be happy in a relationship too, I am in one now  Are you more happy when you’re with people or alone? 90% of time alone What do you think about guys shaving their legs? that’s their life Do you wear lipstick? nah Name something you lost or gave away that can never be replaced. I don’t wanna talk about it

What music album would be used for a movie about your life? soundtrack to my life would have to be a mix of songs from different bands/vocalists

Who was your first crush and what made them special? she was just adorable with her clumsiness and her perfect body and that face and voice and she was just a pretty cool friend to me and I wanted to take care of her so badly, she was the very first girl I ever had a crush on irl if not in general but she was hetero and she changed a lot (not in a good way in my opinion) Write about your first kiss. Was it everything you wished or hoped it would be? I... I never imagined my first kiss before it happened?...

Write about something you now know that you wish you knew earlier in life. How could this knowledge have helped you? blergh

Name one thing you feel brings out the good in people. there’s no such thing, it’s all about the person  If you invented a device that could fix one problem you are facing right now, would you use it? What problem would you like to solve? absolutely, my health issues Name something you found; what was it and where did you find it? I’ve found shitload of stuff but one thing was the most odd and that’s a taxidermy ferret shawl someone left on a bus stop - at first we thought with dad it must be alive but we came closer and realized someone lost their piece of cloth and we took it  Describe the longest amount of time you have ever been away from home. almost a month, I was in hospital Name a celebrity or famous person you wish would take you out on a date. - Have you ever seen a ghost? it seems, it was not just white but a little bluish, no legs and weird face - shaped like in a clay, mostly transparent, slightly glowing, it was in open doors of my room, I woke up with a weird feeling that someone’s watching me and I got really scared so I hidden under a blanket and didn’t look there again until morning, I was trying to convince myself it’s just a shirt that was hanged in the hall but mom said there wasn’t anything like that there at night, now I wish I could see that again hoping I would try to do something more brave about it, I kinda worry I was rude towards them whoever it was 

*btw my grandma said that after death some chemicals leave the body and fly like a fog through the cemetery if casket and grave aren’t blocking it too much Describe your note-taking style and habits. everywhere and usually not in line, can be even upside down, just random, different size, clue words etc. Do you believe that we are all here for a reason? What might the reason be? suffering to deserve heaven? Have you ever done something just to feel the danger, or to feel alive? I hurt myself today To see if I still feel I focus on the pain The only thing that's real What are all your thoughts on god? overthinking... What did you learn today?  for example - that explaining things to people make me realize more than just thinking about something What 5 traits do people first notice when they meet you for the first time? ask them Have you ever carved your name or initials into a tree or stone? poor tree :( In what ways have you traveled? car, bus, train, bike, even a little bit by ship What historical events happened the year you were born? nothing interesting

Do you watch really old tv shows or movies from the 1970’s or earlier? sure

What would you do if you saw a complete stranger dealing drugs in public? nothing If you don’t have to be up by a certain time, do you like to sleep in as late as possible? no longer than 11 am What are you wearing at the moment? Is it for any particular reason? pajama because it’s past midnight and I should be asleep but I have to finally finish this survey then dry my hair and drink some water first Are either one of your parents retired?  my mom is and my dad will be soon Do you buy a lot of DVD’s, or do you tend to just watch everything online for free? watch online, I have no money for buying movies that I’ll watch less than 3 times Does everyone in your household own their own computer? nope

Are you a good gift giver? I try my best and been told that I am despite not being rich 

Do you know what XOXO stands for? hugs and kisses

What’s the first person who comes to your mind when you hear the word blue? me

Have you seen any of the Harry Potter movies? first ones

Do you like your significate others siblings? I don’t know her brother

Have you ever recieved a singing birthday card? omg I loved those and I wish I got one :(

Do you remember who your kindergarten/pre-school teacher was? I liked her so much I’ve been sending her cards on holidays years after

Were you ever a girl scout or a boy scout? never

Do you own anything made of lace? hmm...

How many people do you share a name with? I don’t know anyone with my name

Imagine your dream home, does it have a fence around it? if it’s not an apartment then of course it does, highest possible and thick as I don’t want to see or be seen by my neighbors

Do you own any yellow shoes? yep

Can you type fast? very

In school were you bullied? I was

Are you sarcastic? yeah

Do you read the newspaper? nah

If you died today where do you think you’d go? hell :(

Have you ever been to therapy? few times, didn’t help

Do you use online dating? did

Did you miss alot of school? I was sick often

What was the last thing you got falsely accused of? not sure what was last

What was the last thing you ordered online? shirt, I’m waiting for the package now

Have you ever been kicked out of a store? no :o

Do you feel like you accomplished anything today? hmm...

What is/was your favorite teen magazine? trzynastka or however this shit was called

Would other people describe you as creative? I guess

What color are your slippers? grey and white

Are you haunted by memories of stupid things you’ve said and done? constantly

Did you like high school or college better? didn’t go to college

Who was your favorite Olsen twin? I didn’t have a favorite 

Do you ever listen to Celtic music? used to, with John

Do you know a lot of rich and spoiled and selfish people? had classmates like this and neighbors too

Do you enjoy mornings? rarely, not really

Have you ever feared going to jail or thought about what it would be like? thought

Did you know that the zodiac signs (the regular ones) are Greek? ok

Have you ever learned about Greek mythology in school? didn’t like it

Do you stay up late? as you can see

what do you hear right now? nothing

what is one thing in your life you feel truly guilty for? personal

have you ever been slapped in the face? I’ve been slapped without any reason, I was bullied

how about punched? hit with a ball only and my head was hit with a bottle too once

have you ever come up with a memorable quote yourself? I’ve been quoted 

what do you think about masturbation? personal

What color did you first ever dye your hair?: either red or black

What’s the color of the bath towel you use most often?: green

Ever eaten a piece of dog or cat food out of curiosity?: ewww, nooo

Can you name one song by Prince?: Purple rain for example

Would you rather paint or make pottery?: paint

Are you currently taking this survey before or after 9pm?: after, I started over 5 hours ago...

Is the sun shining bright outside right now?: it’s the middle of the night!

Would you rather watch a horror movie or a romantic comedy?: romantic comedy ^^”

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: [Enough lowkey happened on that camping trip that this can be near the start of the holidays, like we already been knew but we're pretending still at this point that none of this is real okay lads, obviously they at the stage of pretending to be more life and soul than they actually are 'cos all the fakery so when she's in a mood and gone off it's more noticeable, you feel?] Jimmy: [that's a whole fat mood even if he doesn't actually find her with Harry he'd still be like UM hello] Janis: [I don't think she shoulda 100% come out with the intention of doing this but when she wanna (cos Jimmy, obvs, we know Harry is not that hot or charming really lol) can't it's like well this isn't real so I can't ask him so I wanna be with someone who I can for real, like it could be anyone but he's the obvious choice...apart from that, I think we can go] Jimmy: [100% agree it's not like a calculated bitch move and we know how messy they get at parties so] Jimmy: Alright? Janis: Yep Janis: fresh air Jimmy: 🚬? Janis: 🚽 Jimmy: Oi you're not 🤢 are you? Janis: Fuck off Janis: 'course I ain't Janis: only room with a lock Jimmy: what's up then? Janis: that song was so offensively shit Janis: can't hear myself think Jimmy: come outside Janis: why? Jimmy: I'll pick you a 🌹 obvs Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: a valid one Janis: if I've gotta act 😍 over that, how big the crowd I'm walking into is, etc Jimmy: it's quieter out here, dickhead Janis: idk, could run a bath and go under Jimmy: 💀💀💀 pact's for two Jimmy: can we both fit? Janis: the bath is suitably impressive Janis: no marble though so I'm disgusted, obvs Jimmy: won't somebody think of the blood splatter? 😒 Jimmy: let me in then Janis: What kind of proposition is that? Janis: Give me five minutes Jimmy: so high maintenance, you Janis: If you wanna be known as the kind of boyfriend who has to watch their girlfriend take a piss, be my guest Jimmy: who are you talking about my kinks to, girl? Jimmy: bit rude Janis: no need Janis: all 👀s on us at all times Jimmy: yeah and I look like a right dickhead Jimmy: hurry up, Janet Janis: go 🚬 Janis: I'll be there in a few Jimmy: love when you tell me what to do Jimmy: 😍😍🤤 Janis: I'll add it to the kink list to 📢 Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [when it's so awkward like hope there ain't an audience bye] Jimmy: [lights her a 🚬 cos standard but is looking at her like ??] Janis: [taking it and just smoking for a bit 'some nights, this is just more inconvenient than others, yeah?'] Jimmy: ['Nah, it's inconvenient every night, mate' shrugs but is clearly like what the fuck do you mean] Janis: [🙄 'obviously but-' shrugs but in a idk how to word this now kinda way '9/10 when we ain't putting on a show we can still do what we want, yeah?'] Jimmy: [nudges her like go on and taking a big drag while he works out what that means and then takes a hot sec to answer we all know why 'depends'] Janis: ['yeah, it's the depends, ain't it' nods like we're on the same page now 'the shit you wanna do but technically can't 'cos it jeopardizes the whole performance, even when you ain't'] Jimmy: [just looking at her like what even though he knows cos gonna make you say it always #thatbitch] Janis: [just the longest smoke break lmao 'like if we actually wanted to hook up with someone at this party, we can't'] Jimmy: Bathroom door's got a lock on it Jimmy: you said Janis: Obviously Janis: as if there's any chance of 'cheating' without every cunt seeing Janis: they seem thick but they're well up on all this gossip bullshit Jimmy: not with that 🥉 attitude Jimmy: 💕 conquers all, Jules, ain't you heard Janis: Now I'm an amatuer, yeah? Jimmy: do you need me to say it again using the 📢? Janis: how many lasses you had in there tonight then Jimmy: As many as I want Jimmy: [walks away rudely] Janis: alright Janis: message received Jimmy: is it? Janis: Nothing cryptic about it, really Jimmy: we don't need coded 🗨 Jimmy: save that for whoever's meeting you in the bathroom Janis: I doubt I'd be meeting anyone if I had to go to that length of espionage Jimmy: Oi 💀👑 would go to the ends of the earth for you, my dear Janis: 💀👑 can also manage a game of chess, so I hear Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: as romantic nights in go, you could do worse Janis: Romance would not be in his vocabulary, if he knew he had one Janis: thank fuck Jimmy: 💔 or 👍 Jimmy: Delete whichever one Janis: Doing someone else to make you jealous is a cliche too far, I reckon Jimmy: good job that ain't why then Jimmy: you can crack on Janis: Bill would be well let down Jimmy: I ain't got a balcony for him to haunt, it's alright Janis: 🤞 the lack of marble don't vex him then Jimmy: wouldn't be my first 👻🥊 if he really wants to get a mard on Janis: 👍 in a bit Jimmy: 👌 Janis: [later but not like hours obvs] Janis: you still about? Jimmy: weren't gonna just do one without telling you Jimmy: what kind of fake boyfriend Jimmy: [in my head he's having a drink with some art hoe from his class cos saying they're chatting would be a stretch lol] Janis: 💕 Janis: [obvs like oh but recovery of coming over and having a swig of his drink like bonjour] Jimmy: [gives it to her so he has the excuse of going to get another one cos doesn't wanna talk to either of them rn] Janis: [oh the small talk you are not making, this girl, soz hun] Jimmy: [when you just in the kitchen like this takes longer than it does/you can't poss push through the peeps to get back] Janis: what's her story then Janis: why is she so 😪 Jimmy: Who is she? Janis: Got enough to 📢 about you Jimmy: and what? Janis: so stalker or you should at least be able to pull a name out your arse, like Jimmy: Why? I don't remember yours and you're my missus Janis: Hmm 😏 endearing quirk or a sign of early-onset dementia Jimmy: weren't that early 👴 me Janis: True Janis: be back in 🚼 'fore long Jimmy: if you've forgotten how old I am, might wanna get your own 🧠 checked, mate Jimmy: and yeah, your kinks are blatant, calm down Janis: I've been around enough actual babies to know I don't wanna pretend to look after one in my me time Jimmy: I ain't around you in your personal time Jimmy: let you off the 🕛 Janis: no one wants to fake hear about my adult baby kink, dickhead Jimmy: Dunno where I put my 📢 Jimmy: 💔 Janis: are you lost Janis: you've been ages Jimmy: now you miss me Janis: She wasn't much company Jimmy: I don't need to tell you, she ain't the only dickhead here Jimmy: or to crack on Janis: We'll have to be seen in the same room at some point Janis: or I'll just go home, like Jimmy: Off you go then Janis: yeah, 'cos I can just go Janis: you know how this works Jimmy: You ain't been caught out yet Jimmy: maybe the fans weren't as bothered as we reckoned Janis: 'cos I'm not an idiot Janis: which is what we'll both look if we have a weird domestic now Jimmy: you can leave that right out Jimmy: it's how I've looked for ages Janis: You said I could Jimmy: Piss off Janis: You did, you pretty much challenged me to do it Jimmy: Take the out Jimmy: I don't fucking need you here now Janis: Don't be stupid Janis: if I wanted an out, I'd do it Janis: that was the whole point of talking to you Janis: if you had a problem with it tonight you should've said so Jimmy: If you wanna go home, go home Janis: No, 'cos you want me to go home, I'm not going to Janis: and if you want an out, you'll have to fucking say that too Jimmy: I don't care, Janis Jimmy: Alright? Janis: Yeah, fine by me Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: [storms through this party to go smoke again because that's the mood he's in] Janis: [when you'll have to go break something somewhere 'cos it is not okay, thank God we don't care about whoever's house this is] Jimmy: [honestly there better not be anyone annoying outside cos he will smack you lads] Janis: [seriously I'm like flat whites don't be there we can't be having the levels of violent rn 'cos can't deal with emotions] Jimmy: [likewise thank god he ain't going home to Ian rn cos that'd be a brawl and a half nobody needs] Janis: [oh you two] Jimmy: [he is not drunk enough for this lol] Janis: [when you're so frustrated that was a blatant flop and now you can't leave but can't stay, fun poll] Janis: *lol rude Jimmy: [you had one job Harry ffs] Janis: [must assume he's left 'cos highkey and you'd have to sleep with him and not happening boy] Jimmy: [what do you think she did do before she was like ABORT MISSION] Janis: [it probably got to the usual point and it's like hmm still nothing so maybe she gave him head 'cos frustration honey but then was like good day] Jimmy: [I don't feel sorry for you sir but I do feel sorry for Jimothy because he'd be doing drinking games rn throwforward to their other domestic at that party remember cos only time he ever joins in with that kinda nonsense] Janis: [they're always so grim and you are gonna get so drunk boy, I truly dunno where you're gonna be, casually barricaded in some room you're trashing, like] Jimmy: [imagine some time has passed so he's drunker] Jimmy: Oi Janis: what Jimmy: you in the 🚽 again or what? Janis: no, I'm not Janis: all yours, mate Jimmy: Tah Jimmy: [sends her some flirty shit he's been sent meaning like I gotta hide but it comes across now like I'm gonna hit that #miscommunication ftw] Janis: There's that out you wanted Janis: good for you Jimmy: What? Janis: Don't what me like an idiot Jimmy: Don't be a twat like a twat Janis: Good one Janis: We'll pretend it'd be more scathing if you weren't pissed Janis: I said good for you, what more could I do to not be a twat? Jimmy: How about you pretend to have a word, you've only got the one job, rich girl Janis: What are you talking about? Jimmy: What did I just say? Janis: Why would I fake jealous of a girl you're gonna go fuck Jimmy: Why would you do owt to help me out? Fuck knows, tonight's obvs not the night for that Janis: You're making no sense right now Janis: and like fuck, this whole thing is about helping you out Jimmy: you Janis: me what Jimmy: You're making no sense Janis: This is stupid Janis: we ain't talking in circles Janis: you've got somewhere to be Jimmy: No I don't Janis: well, I'm not the one you need to let down gently then Jimmy: just Janis: I've already given her dirty looks Janis: ['cos you can't be in that room forever, like] Jimmy: [be extra like it's all for that girl's benefit okay boy] Janis: [when you're gonna respond like for like 'cos casual state you are in lawd] Jimmy: [have a MOMENT because god knows you're not gonna talk about any of this so obvs such a good idea to take your mood out this way instead of course] Janis: ['scuse the SHOW everyone but they can't get a room or the pretense is gone so] Jimmy: [also you all love it so] Janis: [ya perverts, lowkey start a softcore pornsite with all the footage y'all take] Jimmy: [honestly] Janis: [I get it, they're hot and this is low-key exhibitionism at this point 'cos frustrations] Jimmy: [when he's saying he missed her in between this intense sesh but is he saying it for the unnamed girl and the rest of the audience or because he actually wants to and has drunk enough 🤔] Jimmy: [because not saying it in a really extra fake way just genuinely like 'I missed you' bye] Janis: [excuse you, when neither she nor I is drunk enough to deal with that in a sensible manner] Jimmy: [it's fine we know they're not sensible rn or lowkey ever] Janis: [just gonna be saying his name like a reply, can't pretend you don't know his, babe] Jimmy: [nobody can pretend they don't know how into it he is, look away please art hoe gal] Janis: [there's some things you can't fake lads we know it] Jimmy: [especially when you're basically going as hard as you did on the school trip when you wanted Grace and Co to leave that room] Janis: [remember when, Grace does #triggered] Jimmy: [thank god we said she's not there cos this would be worse than that cos Janis is frustrated/angry af and he's angry/jealous af like imagine] Janis: [someone be shameless enough to stop them please 'cos we can't] Jimmy: [I know we've done the police before but have we done someone's parents rocking up? cos how shaming for this party thrower 🤞 it's not my boy Dan] Janis: [I don't think Dan is cool enough to throw a party at all, god bless and goodnight but yes a good idea, we shall do it] Jimmy: [when you have to go from 100000-0 cos nobody's gonna hear the parents key in the door over all that music and chaos so they just there like] Janis: [just running like lowkey what is happening but gotta go] Jimmy: [handholding for Winnie! at least until this boy has to stop cos can't run as fast or far as her] Janis: [don't vom that wouldn't be cute] Jimmy: [catch your breath and you'll be fine my beloved soft sir] Janis: [patting down his pockets like she's looking for an inhaler but obviously is looking for and gets out his pack of cigarettes like there you go, that'll sort you out 😏] Jimmy: [when he's gotta be so 😏 like steady on girl cos he's actually so 😳 and not just from running clearly, thank god for that 🚬 which we can all pretend suddenly needs the most intense concentration on earth like] Janis: [pushes him like shut up but is also 😳 so carrying on walking ahead so you can hide that and take a moment] Jimmy: [not even trying to catch up cos you also need a minute] Janis: are you going home? Jimmy: Are you? Janis: nah Janis: not when I can help it Jimmy: [shrugs like that's the most casual thing he's ever heard but looking at her like where are you going] Janis: [looking back and shrugging, continuing to walk on like let's see where I end up] Jimmy: [checking his phone to see if there are any other parties cos easter hols so obvs and showing her the options like do you fancy any of these] Janis: [a look like 'you wanna do more faking?' like you don't know oh girl and picking the party that's the closest to where they are right now] Jimmy: [gives her a look like I'll take free drinks over going home cos yeah that's the only reason okay] Janis: [nods like I hear that] Jimmy: [playfully nudges her like so come on] Janis: ['alright, alright' and walking needlessly fast 'cos minimal time alone is required] Jimmy: [when you automatically go to pull her back and then stop yourself cos no] Janis: [whether you notice that or nah, clearly pretending otherwise] Jimmy: [smoking and walking even if you have to light another one immediately idk how far this is and neither does he cos never knows where he is lol] Janis: [looking like 'aren't you gonna give me one?'] Jimmy: [looks back like not if you're 6 miles ahead of me but obvs does give her his and then lights a new one] Janis: [slowing down to take it but still keeping a pace ahead] Jimmy: [and he's just on his phone texting back and forth with Cass cos she's not asleep but should be but obvs he could be doing anything cos Janis don't know his life yet] Janis: [shamelessly like oh, take this time to think about your life and choices, babe] Jimmy: [let us take a moment to appreciate the state of them though like all the skin she's got on show and what he would've done to it, enjoy that in a sec Mia you nosy bitch] Janis: [gonna make her night truly, also he's probably feeling even more pissed 'cos cold air has hit him, like] Jimmy: [yeah that's always fun, thank god he didn't have time to get properly wasted cos Janis has enough catching up to do] Janis: [when you're low-key not even tipsy at this point 'cos the dramaaa] Jimmy: [Oh Jimothy you're clearly not serving as much of a look and you're too drunk, I'm disappointed in you] Janis: [we all know he looks good all the time it's rude] Jimmy: [get in this party and get her a drink boy but handholding cos coupleyness activated the second you're in] Jimmy: [I think he should share her drink because cute but also you don't need more rn and you know it but also he should put a song on he's worked out she likes so they can dance because remember when he thought a shit song started this lol] Janis: [make an entrance you two god bless so mad your mood about to get ruined lol] Jimmy: [omg can we say Harry is talking to Mia but bins her off for Janis when we need that to happen because funny and even funnier when they end up dating later] Janis: [ahh the levels of hate just going up every second, obvs needs to happen] Jimmy: [have your OTT dance moment first though like cos Mia cannot compete there even if she wanted to] Janis: [can't risk a collapse like] Jimmy: [literally how is she alive] Janis: [when he's probs shamelessly watching this but you don't notice 'cos 'course you don't] Jimmy: [he'd be so mad that this isn't a moment like soz jj are too busy having one] Janis: ['cos you think she's literally followed you here like oh God, hence she's gonna freak when she does actually see you're here like gotta go, maybe hit a bathroom again but drag Jimmy with you] Jimmy: [boy you wish she'd follow you anywhere bye] Jimmy: [meanwhile Jimmy just sitting in a bathtub like ?] Janis: [washing me and my clothes bitch, but seriously, just breathing so shallow like full freak out] Jimmy: [can't not notice so literally but very gently pulling her into the tub with him like sit down] Janis: [reluctantly getting in 'cos you're not ready to walk back through to get out even so may as well, leaning back and sighing like well] Jimmy: [taking off her jacket for her not in a saucy way cos that actually might help her feel better you think] Janis: [just rubbing at your now bare arms and straightening up your posture literally pulling yourself together like] Jimmy: [just giving her time cos not that dickhead who's gonna be like WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU TELL ME RN] Janis: ['I fucked up'] Jimmy: [looking at her like elaborate please, but in your own time cos still not that dickhead] Janis: [a look like I truly do not want to do that please lol 'there's someone here I don't wanna see, like more than all the other people I don't wanna see, like'] Jimmy: [nodding like okay that's all I need to hear, getting up like let's go as if they haven't just got there and peeps won't be like ?? or anything because he's not thinking about the fake just the real of what she just said even though it hasn't clicked with him that this could be anything to do with earlier because why would she not wanna see that person as far as he's concerned and putting a hand out to help her up and out too which he so doesn't need to do we see you boy] Janis: [is shaking her head like no wait then makes a 😒 face at herself 'cos does not wanna be this contrary bitch or this bitch freaking out ever but like, it's happened now so- 'we shouldn't go, I already fucked up earlier, we should make the most of that lot being here' 'cos obviously Mia also made herself #seen 'cos when doesn't she lol] Jimmy: [when you touch her 😒 face unthinkingly and softly which shakes you to your core because get control of yourself boy so you make a big show of checking yourself in the mirror for an age like okay I'm ready] Janis: [when you fuck up his hair 'cos a. just that bitch and b. you're meant to be getting it on in here so don't be looking all put together 'amateur' but with feeling] Jimmy: [returning the favour because 1. oi and 2. her hair would be a MESS if you had and everyone knows that and tying her jacket around his waist so he can carry it for her without having to and it's like that thing when boys wear girls scrunchies on their wrists and girls lose their minds] Janis: [raises a brow like what are you doing at first but then nods like touche, as much as you've just said you should make a show for the flat whites, when Mia is talking to Harry again you gotta be like, let's get another drink first ty, hopefully some of the others are in the kitchen] Jimmy: [when you're about to question it by typing cos would never out loud obvs cos you can clearly see 💀👑 but yeah then there are others in the kitchen so you go with that] Janis: [#dutchcourage, least you can be cute/in everyone's way by getting on the counter and just casually wrapping your long ass legs 'round him to 😍] Jimmy: [just gently kissing all those lovebites you made at party 1 making a big show of how sorry you are for each one like thanks for all the bare skin I can use to put on a show yet again bitch] Janis: [truly out here in a bra lmao the confidence] Jimmy: [we're all jealous as hell that she can and looks amazing doing it, especially the flat whites] Janis: [Asia like he wanted me first though lol] Jimmy: [oh girl you wish] Jimmy: [we should have him come into the kitchen to get drinks for him and Mia which she can't be fuming about even though we all know his real motives] Janis: [ugh the level of smug, knowing looks that just make her wanna die, leaning into Jimmy's ear and cupping her hand like she's whispering something saucy to him but is literally just hiding like go away] Jimmy: [when he whispers back but uses the opportunity to ask her if she's alright because not an idiot] Janis: [nods 'I just missed you too' when you say it loud enough it could be for the benefit of the audience but is it or nah, we'll never know] Jimmy: [when now isn't the time or place to push her on what's actually wrong so you just go harder instead which equally begs the question are you trying to distract her/make her feel better or is it for the audience] Janis: [just do the most 'til he says something or goes away kids, speaking of, kinda torn between him not saying anything because he thinks it'll happen again ('cos like it has been repeats thus far so fair) so he's just kinda like smug but not gonna outright be saying something dead obvious to Jimothy to start shit...or getting him that drunk that he does, 'cos we could do it when they're outside smoking or something so the whole party don't actually hear for once? idk] Jimmy: [I like that idea like he doesn't say anything here and now so she's like thank fuck I might have actually gotten away with this but then later when he's drunk he could be like about to go and wants her to go with him or whatever] Jimmy: [I also like the possibility that he could say something to Mia at any point #mildperil] Janis: [that's a good idea, bide your time, dickhead] Janis: [also we know she's snekky so instead of being like um why do you keep looking at her and being salty she can probably get something out of him, she's smart and he ain't really so] Jimmy: [yeah that's what I thought and she'd love knowing that Janis 'cheated' this early on for JJ so] Janis: [exactly, hence she can nudge Harry into making that post after the basketball match drama] Jimmy: [OMG yeah I never even thought of that] Janis: [masterminding] Jimmy: [ironically Harry getting with Mia cos she doesn't play games which he thinks Janis is rn] Janis: [lmao good luck with that you already being played now and you got no clue] Jimmy: [I almost feel sorry for him but he didn't need to post those nudes so I don't] Janis: [mhmm honey] Jimmy: [live your best life at this party til later though JJ my babes] Janis: [hells yeah] Jimmy: [it hurts my heart cos they'd both relax thinking shit's okay now and be actually having a good time, fuck you Harold] Janis: [he probably thinks whomever it was has gone, like] Jimmy: [yeah exactly and like not gonna think about it too hard cos her mood has clearly changed and that's the important thing] Janis: [is there anything we wanna do specifically or, how we doing this?] Jimmy: [I think we can probably just skip to when Harry fucks things up because we know the vibe but yeah how do we wanna do that like maybe we can just plot out how it would have gone and see from there cos like she might run away or Jimmy might smack him we don't know lol] Jimmy: [like what do you think he should say/do?] Janis: [Hmm, like you said maybe he comes over and is like okay come back with me though, like enough 'games' now and is ignoring Jimmy so obvs he's like excuse you piss off then when Janis is also like fuck off no so then he's salty and says something when he's walking away like 'tell me how my dick tastes' 'cos he would] Jimmy: [well that's lovely thank you Harry, you're so getting smacked now boy cos his ex was a hoe and he doesn't need to be triggered like that] Janis: [when the worst you were expecting happened and a hoe gotta go] Jimmy: [clearly should try and follow her because how's that gonna look if she leaves without him but doesn't because literally doesn't care about any of that in the moment obvs] Janis: [we're not keeping up the act rn, hopefully there were minimal people about and we can just call Harry a liar later like he's not a trustworthy bitch peeps be known] Jimmy: [yeah I doubt there were many people outside and they'd all be drunk af whoever were and like you said he's not coming through with proof but I hope Janis ain't going to mcvickers gaff cos if Jimothy is going home they'd have to go the same way lol] Janis: [lol imagine, I'll make her run off in a different direction don't worry] Jimmy: [poor bitch she doesn't need the awkward walk of shame] Janis: [she know some places, go work out that aggression again, not that you can but you know] Jimmy: [mhmmm god only knows what Jimothy is gonna do when he gets home cos you can't just casually go to sleep like this is fine] Janis: [I'm like what are you gonna do, what are you gonna say, oh girl] Jimmy: [and how long are you gonna leave it to have the convo too like] Janis: [right, when you wanna do it now to say it, but then you're like, he's not gonna wanna and you're scared too but you don't wanna leave it too long, gay] Janis: [gaaaaaaaaaay 🙄 GAH grammarly GAH ] Jimmy: [he's gonna have to act like he's so not bothered cos it's such early days I'm gonna die] Janis: [okay, I'm gonna say next morning, torture yourself, and inadvertently him, all night] Jimmy: [yassss] Janis: Hey Jimmy: Morning Janis: You alright? Janis: sorry about that idiot last night Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: If you're gonna apologise for every dickhead from last night, do it in a bit, I'm short on time Janis: I won't take on accountability for every cunt, like Janis: just that one Jimmy: Alright Janis: Yeah Janis: you at work? Jimmy: Nah Janis: Oh, alright Janis: well, my bad then Jimmy: I'm in later if you wanna erase your guilt using the tip jar Jimmy: might have another fight in me if it's for 💰💰💰 Janis: Come on Jimmy: what? Janis: Don't take the piss, like Janis: I'm trying to say sorry properly Janis: it was fucking embarrassing Jimmy: he's 💔 give it him Janis: He's an idiot Jimmy: who here ain't? Jimmy: yet to meet 'em, me Janis: Best of luck on that score Jimmy: Tah Janis: I appreciate you punching him regardless Jimmy: it weren't for you Janis: Obviously Janis: still Janis: and he chats shit all the time so, no one will care to remember if they heard anything Jimmy: 👌 Janis: Hopefully they're all too hungover to show their faces in CG today 🤞 Jimmy: 💀👑 don't get hangovers Jimmy: she'd have to swallow Janis: Do spirits have calories 🤔 Janis: oh 👻 Jimmy: give her a bell, you'll have your answer Janis: I'm not feeling that guilty Janis: no need to punish myself like that Jimmy: I get it, you're a fake catholic an' all Jimmy: nowt's real with you Janis: Bit harsh Jimmy: is it? Janis: Yeah Janis: we don't know each other like that Jimmy: 🎻🎻💔🎻💔 Janis: Don't be a dick about it Jimmy: we don't know each other like that Jimmy: I ain't gonna be nice to you, Jill Janis: Alright Janis: well I've said what I need to say so that's that then Jimmy: In a bit then Janis: 👌 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: yeah right Jimmy: [posts something extra like mhmm yeah right] Janis: [as extra a response like this convo isn't even going this badly rn] Jimmy: [being even more extra back like gotta remind her how fake this is and how much you don't care] Janis: [oh lads, just a back and forth] Jimmy: [for ages like is anyone but Mia THIS invested] Janis: [the answer is no[ Jimmy: [but like it's also shade on his part cos it's like him saying we've done this so now I don't have to see you today, job done] Janis: [we know it and she knows it honey] Jimmy: [and we know the flirty undertone that's real af isn't there that usually is, they are so phoning this in rn] Janis: [this is so sad tbh] Jimmy: [what if they run into each other somewhere that they don't expect to idk where but like they can't pretend they haven't seen each other cos other people have seen them but like it's not a party so can't be that OTT] Janis: [where could it be hmm] Jimmy: [like it could be something he's taking either of his siblings to even but then why is Janis there 🤔] Janis: [tis the issue, unless we go for the park, like we always do but it's real, and if we make it a nice day, teens would be hanging to peep 'em] Jimmy: [oh true] Janis: [I can't think of anywhere else they'd both be and other people to see, 'cos I was thinking we could steal when Ellie was doing the family shop 'cos Janis could do it too for something to do but idk if any other teens would really be there to the level you'd be like 'we must go 'round this shop together' maybe when they're more 😍 again though] Jimmy: [yeah unless like someone worked there and clocked them but even then a bit of a flimsy excuse probably] Janis: ['cos I doubt any of the flat whites are working in a supermarket so yeah] Jimmy: [exactly and my other thought was maybe it was the pool or like a sports thing but Janis already did the school trip for extra credit so I doubt she'd have to do anything else] Janis: [unless she is just there working out 'cos said about being underwater and not able to hear shit so good throwback] Jimmy: [OOOH] Janis: [also the levels of awks like oh hi we're all just here in our swimsuits lollll we're mean but it makes sense, especially if there's like a kid's holiday deal or some shit you know the vibe] Jimmy: [I'm just imagining in angus thongs when her tan 😂] Janis: [thank god you ain't that hoe lmao] Jimmy: [if Asia is there though lol she is] Jimmy: [she could totally have a little sister and be there like] Janis: [just swimming like a mum] Jimmy: [sending Mia JJ updates with her waterproof phone cos that bitch don't swim so she ain't gonna be there] Janis: [when you just want the ground to swallow you up and you're just saying and looking like I am SO sorry whenever you can 'cos you can't just leave] Jimmy: [casually regretting giving her all those lovebites last night now cos that's all you can see and it's not helping you pretend to be unbothered haha] Jimmy: [thank god 😒 is his default expression] Janis: [up in this pool like a woman shamed in so many ways lol, at least the kids are there for some distraction] Jimmy: [we know Bobby is a shy clingy lad so that'd take a lot of his focus and save us all from dying even more than we are, Cass just trying to drown him cos she's mad he stayed out for ages last night too probably]] Janis: [and you're a #seriousathlete so you can go do some laps without Asia clocking anything God bless] Jimmy: [I really hope the Cass and Jimmy playfight splashes Asia and she gets her hair wet] Janis: [the least she deserves for enabling this awkward rn] Jimmy: [imagine how annoying her little sister would be, stay away from her Bobert you are too sweet] Janis: [fucking little Europe or some shit Jimmy: [We should do China or America cos both on this list I just found] Janis: [ew hate/love that] Jimmy: [maybe there's two of them oh lord] Janis: [Grace be so jelly] Jimmy: [not making them twins though cos she would die] Janis: [forever triggered lol] Jimmy: [I'm thinking one around Bobby's age and then one older but still younger than Cass like] Janis: [sounds legit to me, should we skip forward or try to do this a bit and see what happens, idm] Jimmy: [at least if there's two of them she'd be busy herself so she can't stalk them as hard, I say why not try and see what happens] Janis: [so obviously we wanna do races, who can hold their breath longest, handstands, whatever other tricks you can do in a pool] Jimmy: [Cass throwing her key on the bottom to swim for it, Jimmy like no bitch cos she always loses em and he'd have to get so many cut without encouraging that behaviour] Janis: [gotta lay down the law with a child just attached to you lol God bless] Jimmy: [how awks because this is so early on so like they know nothing about each other's lives and Cass has probably instantly decided she hates Janis and Bobby is like 👀 deer in headlights] Janis: [we're all dying lol like Asia please leave] Jimmy: [Jimmy like neither of you say anything about our missing maybe dead mum or dickhead father please while trying not to betray how he feels about this fake dating/ Harry situation...so chill] Janis: [the stress good lord] Jimmy: [thank god he does have work later I said so he can use that as excuse to leave sooner than he actually needs] Janis: [Asia probably gon follow] Jimmy: [ugh true so then he has to ask Janis if she wants to come so she can hear because 😍 obvs] Janis: [at least she'll have the sense to make up an excuse 'cos we don't need to prolong this casual torture lol] Jimmy: [and at least he has his sibs there so the 'goodbye' doesn't have to be extra af] Janis: [at least we're buying ourselves more fake dating time here 'cos the awks and anger] Jimmy: [I'm proud of us but I'm sorry lads before he goes you've gotta have hot chocolate like I always did after swimming I don't make the law] Janis: [my boo insists, also the kids obvs, like he doesn't work in a cafe and you could swing by there, no no] Jimmy: [yeah fuck your pretentious latte art bitch] Jimmy: 👍? Janis: the ☕️? Janis: not bad but don't reckon they'll replace you with a 🤖 quite yet Jimmy: 💧 on my apron Janis: no doubt help with the 💸💸 tips Jimmy: they'd be more 😍 for 💦 or ☔ Janis: too nice a day for the latter Jimmy: [shrugs cos it's april so could happen] Janis: shouldn't have dried your hair Janis: very music video Jimmy: [when you're amused but you have to hide it so you get your phone out for selfies like she gave you the idea cos tbh not trying to get put on a register by taking 📷 in the pool] Janis: [🙄 but 😏] Jimmy: [casual selfie sesh and then busying yourself putting them up like] Janis: never off the clock, eh Jimmy: two jobs'll do that Janis: wouldn't know Jimmy: bit rude to rub it in, rich girl Jimmy: this ain't a 🎻 sorta place Janis: just the kinda rich girl I am Jimmy: You're alright, I'll keep the 🔪 in my back out of shot, know enough 📷 angles, me Janis: it's really bad manners to bleed everywhere, you know Jimmy: I know how to clean up after myself,  that'll be the kinda poor boy I am Janis: 🚫🎻 Janis: you said Jimmy: I weren't saying it to 💔 you Jimmy: not my job Janis: just saying, follow your own rules Jimmy: make me 😘 Janis: not really got room to lecture there Jimmy: room for nowt 🦒 Jimmy: 🚫🎻 Janis: don't be short about it Janis: you're almost entirely in the right, you may as well take it Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: almost Jimmy: I've done nowt wrong 😇 me Janis: Nah Janis: you told me to do it Jimmy: convenient that Janis: is it? Janis: doubt that Jimmy: for you Janis: Yeah, clearly Jimmy: dry your eyes, mate Jimmy: were obvs such a good idea at the time Janis: You only set all this bullshit up for failure, not me Jimmy: how did I? Janis: You literally said it was fine Janis: I was the one saying it'd probably fuck it up Janis: I did it and I've tried to make it up but you don't care and you're offering no solutions so fuck it Jimmy: we don't need owt 'cause nobody knows owt and even if he says owt it'll sound like bollocks Jimmy: sort your head out Janis: yeah 'cos it's ideal for you to have to punch out lads all the time Jimmy: might be Jimmy: might make my dad proud of me Jimmy: a scrap might just be a laugh Janis: you want me to say you're welcome then Janis: alright, that's that then Jimmy: want you to carry round a 🪥 next time you fancy cracking on with dickheads like that Jimmy: but alright Janis: cheers Janis: you give great advice Jimmy: might do, if we were mates Janis: well we obviously aren't Jimmy: 😮😮😮 Janis: whatever Janis: [making these awkward goodbyes] Jimmy: [when you don't want her to go even though this is awful] Janis: [when you cannot take any more though] Jimmy: [pulling her back like he wanted to last night but couldn't cos he can pretend it's so fake lol lol lol] Janis: [when you're like 'what?' all light and jokey for the fake but then you look at him like actually though] Jimmy: [boy quick tell your face, Daniel will be livid, that you're giving yourself away like this] Janis: [just in a stare-off rn] Jimmy: [leaning in like he's gonna kiss her but obvs can't cos too real rn so he's like 'stop being a dickhead' in a whisper like that's what he was gonna do all along] Janis: [when you're actually like stunned lmao 'great advice as always, Taylor' under your breath and then a faker 'see you later' moment for the rest] Jimmy: [😏 because annoying her is easier and safer as is blowing her a kiss like bye babe] Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: you're so irritating Janis: please don't need me for another 3-5 working days yeah Jimmy: I gave you an out, girl Jimmy: It ain't my fault that lad's 🏆 an' all Janis: I knew he was a dickhead before I did it Janis: not 💔 Jimmy: massively your type every 3-5 working days Janis: you reckon, do you Jimmy: you just said Janis: I didn't Janis: I said I knew he was one, not that I was about it Jimmy: if you weren't about it you wouldn't have done it Jimmy: unless you're not about this, and if that's it, take your out Janis: 'cos those are the only two possibilities Janis: I'm 😍 or sick of this and ain't got the balls to say it Janis: well it's neither, tah Jimmy: I never said you were 😍 Janis: alright, my type, whatever, it's the same thing Jimmy: if you wanna get with lads then you obvs ain't gay so we don't need to do this anymore, that's what I'm saying Jimmy: he'd have been happy enough to brag about how straight you are Jimmy: next time take a 📷 and you're 👍 Janis: you really think that thought had never occurred to me prior to this? Janis: if I wanted that, I would've done it ages ago Janis: not my first time, whatever popular opinion dictates Jimmy: weren't gonna chuck you a penny for 'em, my dear Jimmy: If I wanted to wait around at some shit party while another lad sorts out the lass I'm with, I'd have my ex back Jimmy: not my first time at that Janis: all you had to do was say no Janis: not even, just agree with what I was saying Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: tell yourself no, I'm not your fucking conscience Janis: conscience has got nothing to do with it Janis: obviously it'd be wrong if we were actually together Janis: but it's fake so it's just a matter of logistics and if you say you don't care then that's what I'm going on Jimmy: I've got nowt to do with it Janis: Jesus, yes you do, this is a deal between me and you Jimmy: that you were acting put upon about all night so yeah it were fine, to get you to stop marding for 5 seconds Janis: so now it's your turn? Janis: that's a mature way to deal with shit Jimmy: I'd have legged it but you beat me to that, Janet Janis: 'cos you were well in a talking mood Jimmy: I took that hint from you ages before, that'll be why Janis: I tried Janis: this is some bullshit Janis: I tried before, and after, and both times it was all good except it clearly fucking ain't Jimmy: how about you try not to put me in the path of lads you wanna fuck? or have or will do Janis: It weren't even Janis: fine Janis: I'm sorry Jimmy: It weren't even what, that you couldn't have called me after you were done? Jimmy: Bollocks Janis: No Janis: I didn't think of it from that perspective, alright, that's fair Janis: this shit is a headfuck Janis: it's not like there are rules, that I've done this loads, enough to navigate it perfectly Jimmy: the only rule is that we don't mess each other about Jimmy: helping each other out is the whole point Janis: Yeah Janis: I seriously didn't think it would, believe that or not Janis: he hasn't bragged about it before but lesson learned Jimmy: I weren't here to mug off before Janis: No Janis: well, like we said, no one's gonna listen to him so as far as damage control goes Jimmy: I heard you the first hundred times you told me that Jimmy: there's no damage control for all the 🕧 waiting around for you in different parts of that massive house Janis: then tell me what I can do Jimmy: if we ain't gonna be in the same room for longer than 10 mins don't bother to invite me Jimmy: there's your answer Janis: alright Janis: I'm not going to do that again, not that you asked but Jimmy: He'd have you back, I never hit him that hard Janis: shut up Jimmy: Alright don't, you can do better Janis: we can all see what he is Jimmy: I weren't giving him 😍 soz to piss on that threesome you had your 🤞 for Janis: 🤢 Janis: stop Jimmy: you can give it all that after you let me be all over you when you were all over that dickhead? Top one Jimmy: if any dickhead's 🤢🤢 it's me Janis: it were complicated Janis: yeah, we should've left Janis: I just Jimmy: weren't trying to have a chat then were you? Jimmy: not a word Janis: so that was selfish Janis: never said I weren't Jimmy: just Janis: I'm sorry Janis: I should've gone when you offered Janis: I wanted the night to be worth it somehow though Jimmy: What does that mean? Janis: Like you said, we'd barely been in the same room so Janis: would've been a wasted night if we left then Jimmy: I'd take a wasted night night over a weird one Janis: Yeah Janis: it made sense at the time Jimmy: 👌 Janis: don't emoji at me Jimmy: Or what? Janis: I dunno but I was close to absolving some guilt Janis: bit rude Jimmy: save it for confession, babe Jimmy: I'm in black but that's where the similarity ends Janis: I've never been Jimmy: first time's the charm, Nah? Or is that the third? Jimmy: I dunno 😴 Janis: Cheers Janis: I really have to ask for eternal forgiveness before you're gonna bother Jimmy: If you were my real girlfriend, ain't getting The Lord involved for owt less Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: sorry your ex was a bitch too Jimmy: leave it out Janis: just saying Jimmy: me an' all Jimmy: it ain't your problem and she ain't been mine for ages either Janis: okay Janis: still Janis: shit Jimmy: shut up Janis: 🤐 Jimmy: Doubt that Janis: Oh now I talk too much Janis: convenient Jimmy: yeah well chatty, you Jimmy: never know when to stop Janis: yeah well Janis: one of us has to keep the conversation going Jimmy: so #goals girl Janis: Obviously Janis: I feel like my fucking sister right about now Jimmy: Has she been with him an' all? Jimmy: taking the #twinning a bit far there, mate Janis: I hope not Janis: I dunno why you'd make me think of that Janis: I just meant general slagginess and regret Jimmy: I reckon you'd know, hardly the type to keep that to himself Jimmy: Why do you regret it? You said you knew he were a massive twat Janis: I don't know Janis: 'cos he's made me look stupid Jimmy: Only in front of me and I knew you were an idiot 😏 Janis: Thanks Janis: very supportive Jimmy: Do you want me to belt him again? Janis: Only if you feel like it Janis: but it ain't really about him Jimmy: not what I asked, 'cause nah, it ain't about him Janis: No Janis: If you never have to think about him again, that's best for me Jimmy: That all I can do you for, Jules? Jimmy: you don't fancy an overpriced latte or owt, I get that Jimmy: 🌹? Janis: Am I that demanding? Jimmy: Do you want a fake answer there or what? Janis: Cheek Janis: and after you dared to offer me a latte as well Jimmy: I never Janis: Hmm Janis: likely story Jimmy: what's tonight's? Jimmy: we in or out? Janis: I reckon we've done enough to earn a night off Jimmy: Alright Janis: don't you Jimmy: I asked you Janis: Yeah, and I asked you back Jimmy: and I said alright Janis: alright Jimmy: 👍 Janis: Try not to kill yourself at work today Jimmy: And be stuck haunting the CG, you're alright Janis: and you ain't allowed without me Janis: more importantly Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: You're the only one I wanna haunt, baby Janis: Yeah, I better be Jimmy: You are Jimmy: 💔 as Asia is about it Janis: she's lucky I didn't drown her Jimmy: If you really loved me, you would Janis: always coming out with this after the fact, aren't you Jimmy: What's more #goals than murdering a love rival? Jimmy: if you dunno that, Jasmine, I dunno what we're even doing here Janis: Rival is a stretch Janis: if you reckon that then you only gotta ask her Jimmy: Calm it down, bighead Jimmy: The DM asking her to attach ankle weights in the deep end has already been sent Janis: gonna be 😭 over her cankles forever now Jimmy: I were 😭😭😭 first Janis: you mean you didn't just have chlorine in your eyes? Janis: awkward Jimmy: it were already awkward Jimmy: leave my 👀 out of it, tah Janis: but they're so dreamy Jimmy: Send tweet Janis: 😏 Janis: working overtime for you, boy Jimmy: I asked you what you wanted, you never answered, girl Janis: I don't know the menu Jimmy: I have to do everything, I see how it is Janis: You wanted demanding, babe Jimmy: 😍😍🤤🤤 Janis: Idiot Jimmy: Stop flirting with me for 1 second so I can make you a drink! Janis: Bet that's what you say to all the customers Jimmy: Depends Janis: if you like it or nah, sure Jimmy: Nah, what I like is nowt to do with it Janis: Tips? Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: that's kinda fucked, you stop and think about it Jimmy: I don't get long enough breaks to stop and think Janis: Poor baby Janis: I've got all the time in the world to ponder for you Jimmy: just keep rubbing it in, you Janis: 😂 Janis: you know you'd hate it if I weren't a rich girl Jimmy: You ain't paying me nowt last I checked Janis: you'd have nothing to take the piss out of me for if I weren't Janis: worth it's weight in gold, surely Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: Bollocks would I not Janis: Bollocks would you Janis: I'm 🥇 Jimmy: You're 🥈 Janis: Psh, fuck you Jimmy: And you're only that 'cause my 🥇 makes you look good Janis: Oh please Janis: you must've bumped your head 'cos you sound downright delusional now Jimmy: Beg all you like you ain't having the 🏆 til you pry it out of my 💀💀💀 hands Janis: Me? Beg? You? Janis: now you're hearing things Jimmy: I can barely read and I still saw that please, girl Jimmy: Felt it an' all Janis: shut up Janis: I was asking the LORD to give you some sense, that's all Jimmy: Convenient that Jimmy: Getting him involved again Janis: I'm a good friend and a good Christian 😇 Jimmy: You ain't either, unless you were chatting shit earlier Janis: Who knows Jimmy: He gonna deliver this drink to you on a ☁ or what? Janis: If only Janis: not a service you provide either, I suppose? Jimmy: I could do Janis: Impressive Janis: if dubious Jimmy: Depends where you want it Janis: 😍😍🤤🤤 Janis: I'll come get it, not that much of an arsehole, usually Jimmy: You're still not having 🥇 Janis: not even if I say please AND thank you? Jimmy: Go on Jimmy: I'll see how I feel Janis: 🔮 so mysterious Jimmy: Old news that Jimmy: And not what I'm waiting to hear off you Janis: You'll be old news, soon 🤞 Jimmy: 💔 Janis: that's the whole point, yeah Janis: or do I accuse you of being closeted too Jimmy: can do Janis: I'm bigger and better than that 🥇😇 Jimmy: 👏 Janis: you thought I was gay too then Jimmy: Why would I? Janis: You tell me Jimmy: Nowt to tell Jimmy: I don't know you Janis: Neither does anyone else who's reached the conclusion Janis: it's not personal Jimmy: Alright, I don't think about you as much as they do Janis: 🙄 Janis: they don't think that much period Janis: but my sexual history ain't playground knowledge so obviously Jimmy: Who started it? Janis: I dunno Janis: you know how it is, only one person needs to say it once Janis: pack mentality bullshit Jimmy: It'll be a lad you didn't wanna get with or a lass who's fuming you're fitter than her Janis: That don't narrow it down Janis: bighead, remember Jimmy: 😏 Janis: whatever Jimmy: is it? Janis: I mean, Bill said it best Janis: telling everyone I ain't wouldn't do shit but make it seem like I was Janis: why else would I have agreed to this Jimmy: 'Cause I'm so fit and mysterious obvs Janis: 😂 Janis: I'm not Asia Jimmy: I know 😭💔 Janis: Could've asked, dickhead Jimmy: She has a BOYFRIEND, Jenna Janis: She wants a NEW ONE Jimmy: duh Janis: ask her then Janis: she'll have so many good ideas Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: Fucking hell, I'd sooner put up with your bad ones Janis: Gee, thanks for the reminder Jimmy: 😘 Janis: no one is there, right Janis: like, no one who's gonna want a show Jimmy: What do you think? Janis: hold on then Jimmy: 👌 Janis: 🖐 Jimmy: 👀 Janis: how do you live like this Jimmy: What? Janis: having to be around them, even in the holidays Janis: without going postal Jimmy: I ain't got a choice Jimmy: What kind of question is that? Janis: I know, still doesn't mean I get how you do it Jimmy: What's to get? It's a job, even rich girls know how they work Janis: Never mind Jimmy: No, go on Janis: Nah Jimmy: We're back to 🙀 are we? Janis: Nah, we're back to there's no point 'cos you always act like you're so superior when that's not even what I'm saying Janis: so forget it Jimmy: The point is that I serve dickheads all day Jimmy: Mia wishes she could take the 👑 Janis: And you can never just say that Jimmy: They're the centre of your 🌎 not mine Janis: Keep the drink Jimmy: I don't want it Janis: Neither do I Janis: another customer to complain about Jimmy: You can have that 🥇 at least Jimmy: well done Janis: 👍 Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: Later Jimmy: Yeah

[gifsbysimplysonia]

Whingin on a bad day

Today was fcking rough.

For weeks now, I haven't been able to sleep a whole night through. I wake up somewhere in between 2:30 and 3:30 am and due to the nature of my mind, I'm unable to quiet it back down to get back to sleep. I take Benadryl, sleep gummies, even a medicine my parents suggested called chanca. And I'll knock OUT but always wake up in the middle of the night and then be unable to get back to sleep. It's frustrating and being tired all the time ain't awesome. 

Especially on the days I have to go into the office because I'm surrounded by loud sales people, most of whom are men and also rude af. Whether it's them speaking loudly about The Mandalorian with NO REGARD as to whether anyone else has see it. Whether it's me at my desk having to hear them half a floor away from me comparing the Hong Kong protests to the impeachment hearings. Whether it's them talking about video games, wrestling, the moving people they need to hire to help their family move NEXT YEAR....these men have no regard for anyone around them and

To the point I asked to move back to my old seat, waaaaaaaay on the other end of the floor, removed from all the sales people and where it is blissfully quiet. My boss moved me and my co-worker FROM that island of bliss to integrate the team better and I honestly just dislike everyone else so much more now. I now know what entitlement sounds and looks like. Yesterday a dude came back from breakfast and burped out loud. Just...burped. Didn't care to excuse himself of apologize to me and my co-worker. Nah. Just sat his ass down to continue bullsh!tting and not working. 

All this to explain that when I don't sleep and my irritability is heightened? Going to the office is even more trying and hard to deal with. Yesterday EVERYTHING made me wanna snap. Cuz on top of being exhausted, I also had a horrible headache. Got home and a Zyrtec helped dull it immensely so I was grateful and able to get to sleep just from being so tired.

BUT ....woke up at 3:30 this morning with a SPLITTING FCKING HEADACHE yet again. And I couldn't get back to sleep. Ibuprofen made no difference. When my alarm went off at 5:45 I decided I was gonna work from home. It was my co-worker's WFH day and weirdly she also had a terrible headache. She said her head felt huge.

Oh and I forgot to mention how on Monday, my left eye started twitching. Going nuts under my left eye. I'm reminded now cuz in addition to telling me how her head felt, she said her eye started going too. We are now convinced the ugly, weird, filthy looking vents we sit under at work and that have started kicking on now with a buzzing SO LOUD we were afraid they were gonna explode...well, we think they are poisoning us lol. 

More likely, even though my weather app said no pollen and moderate air quality today, something is setting off our allergies. Cuz my poor brother woke up miserable and with his head sideways which always means BAD headache. Checked in with the Padres and yep, their heads also wanted to explode. None of us are allergic to anything specific, of course, but we have all been to an allergist who told us we have generic allergies. Because of course lol.

Then at the job today, the system we do EVERYTHING in glitched up in significant ways, enough to impact us. Like, change the entire way we do our jobs cuz the glitches are so bad. And when we complained we got snapped at, like, "well we can't fix everything." 

*blink blink*

Oh. And this morning I spilled probably half of my brand new bottle of Black Cherry Chutney nail polish that I JUST RECEIVED YESTERDAY. Cuz when I finished painting my nails last night, my dumb ass didn't screw the cap on all the way. So when I grabbed the 3 bottles this morning to move them,,,,whoosh. The nail polish dropped and whipped across the floor. I used up an entire and brand new bottle of nail polish remover AND RUINED a full sized white towel scrubbing and trying to get it out. You can still see where it spilled tho. And my dumb ass once again didn't realize cleaning that up would mess up the nails I just painted last night cuz I was panicking about the carpet staining but honestly, who cares about my nails? I'm just so tired of being a screw up todayyyyyyyyy.

S I G H.

I just wanna sleep like a solid 7 hours, wake up headache free and get to be happy lol 

But right now, curled up in the fetal position as the medicine wears off and the pounding comes back full force, I'm really just craving validation and hugs lol. Like send a handsome bearded boy with a nice booty my way to lie to me and tell me all the ways in which I'm NOT useless or gross or dumb cuz my heart would appreciate it, plz n thx.

Send me some sleepytime vibes y'all, I can't keep doing this. 

[d-c-o]

Questions

* 1. To an extent, yeah. I can’t date somebody if I’m not at least attractive to them.

* 2. Depends on the person.

* 3. Nope.

* 4. Happily single and working on myself.

* 5. Nope.

* 6. Yes.

* 7. Obviously, it’s not hard.

* 8. I don’t have one.

* 9. Can vibe, likes the same music I do, and shares the same qualities and traits I want in a partner.

* 10. Nope.

* 11. Eventually, that’s an ultimate end goal.

* 12. Nope, I cut ties immediately if so.

* 13. Not really. I only get jealous when it’s warranted.

* 14. Ehhhh, not really.

* 15. One on my left ear.

* 16. Nope, but I plan to this year. Actually went to the tattoo shop last night as my best friend got his 1st LOL.

* 17. Yeah, I can fuck with PDA to an extent.

* 20. I shower twice every day.

* 21. I know some that do but they just aren’t for me lol.

* 22. Yeah refer to 21.

* 23. That’s easy af.

* 24. That would make me 30 years old, so I sure hope so LMAO.

* 25. When it happens, it’ll happen. It’s not a priority.

* 26. Yeah, but none of them meant it LOL.

* 27. No, but that would be hella sweet if they did.

* 28. Looooooool, yep..

* 29. Absolutely not.

* 30. No thanks.

* 31. Unfortunately yes.

* 32. Refer to 31’s answer.

* 33. No.

* 34. Yeah.

* 35. Yeah at a rave, AHAHAHA.

*36. Nah, but if I found somebody like her, it’d be nice.

* 37. Yeah, my last ex.. LMAO.

* 38. Of course.

* 39. Who hasn’t, let’s be honest.

* 40. Yes I have, multiple times.

* 41. Nope, in hella need of it though.

* 42. Few minutes top.

* 43. 3 years and 10 months.

* 44. I think like 9? But only 3 were considered truly serious to me.

* 45. I can’t remember that shit bruh, LOL.

* 46. Not as much as I’d like.

* 47. 25.

* 48. It would hurt, but I’d be genuinely happy for them and hope it works out.

* 49. The affection and wanting my attention for sure.

* 50. Hell no, I’d slam the door right away AHAHA.

* 51. My best friend, Kiefer. We would literally take a bullet for each other. Been through thick and thin for over 10 years with him.

* 52. Last person I could think of is is my last ex. She was just too toxic and I couldn’t allow my energy to be drained further.

* 53. Nah, but if they did.. I wouldn’t give a fuck honestly.

* 54. Both of my dogs that past away.

* 55. Too long, literally kdrama worthy AHAHA.

* 56. Way too much to think of. Only thing I can say is I get told I have a baby face soooo yeah.

* 57. Not worth my time saying anything to any of them lmao.

* 58. 1) Be loyal 2) Be honest 3) Be affectionate 4) Be there whenever I need it emotionally wise 5) Effort over talking.

* 59. My main picture or VSCO has dem selfies man.

* 60. Only like 2-4 year differences between them.

* 61. Their smile or the way they dress.

* 62. Grab my crotch in public while nobody’s looking AHAHAHA.

* 63. Dick goes into the pussy.

* 64. Shady ass shit like hiding things, and obviously shit like kissing somebody that’s not their partner.

* 65. I have way too many to pick lmao.

* 66. A steamy makeout session with hickies on my neck especially >>>>>>

* 67. Just having good vibes with a person who has their attention fixated on me.

* 68. Straight.

* 69. Bad hygiene, being a starfish, and not even moaning. Its the most driest kind of sex ever LMAO.

* 70. Lots of moaning, calling me shit like daddy, hickies, and of course digging nails in my back.

* 71. Ain’t gonna describe it, but it was with a girl I previously had a thing with. Ended up booty calling her, and yeah.. you know the rest HAHAHAHA.

* 72. Fuck me harder, choke me, cum for/on/over me or cum inside me, and daddy. Dirty talk >>>

* 73. Easy af, don’t take me granted and not make me feel like I’m just getting used for attention or money.

* 74. Mmm, probably being entitled to everything.

* 75. I really can’t recall the last time unfortunately lmao.

* 76. Surprised a previous girl I had a thing with by dropping her off dem Asian snacks and bubble tea without her knowing I was coming by, since she was stressed from school along with having her time of the month.

* 77. Anything more than 5 is too much for me.

* 78. Lol, that’s way too personal AHAHA.

* 79. Last ex, because some raunchy ass anon was sending her sexual shit and her responses made me felt like she entertained it. Glad that kind of shit is no longer in my life to deal with anymore.

* 80. At a rave two weeks ago, told my best friend “I love you, broooo” since I was hella buzzed LOL.

* 81. Dannie Riel, Donnah Pham and any of them hot ass ABG’s that reside in Australia or California 😂.

* 82. The tattoo artist last night.

* 83. An ex from 8th grade.

* 84. Because she was too toxic, I was way too good to her, and her apologies meant shit in the end, as she repeated the kind of BS that caused me to drop her in the first place. Second chances mean shit.

* 85. I’d had several and they all failed, so I’d rather not ever again.

[haydenokayden]

I'd like a pizza you 2 (too)

Another day, another pizza delivered. He'd been working in this place for a while now and he's gotten friendly with a few of the staff members.

Einarr is a relatively quiet person. Mostly keeps to himself, but when you get to know him, he's a swell guy and has a sense of humor.

Then again, so does his friends.

"Hey Einarr! Mind delivering this last box? I know you're about to head home and all, but this place is apparently really close to you." Elric hollered, snickering. He couldn't really turn him down. He was his friend after all, plus he's the manager. Though that didn't really have anything to do with it.

"Sure! I don't mind. What about the payment though?" He replied, though a little suspicious as to why his friend would ask him to do it.

"Just leave it here when your next shift starts, I guess. I trust you."

"Alright then. Though, I gotta ask. Why me?" Einarr questioned. His curiosity getting to him.

"I didn't really wanna have to say this but the special instructions says to bring in the most handsome pizza delivery boy." Elric replies, chuckling lightly which only served to confuse the taller man.

"Me? Handsome? I don't think so man. But sure. I'll do it." Einarr shrugs before taking the box of pizza and heading out. Elric waved as he did.

Moments later, he got onto his motorcycle (His own motorcycle, not the pizza parlor's) and rode off. Pizza box in tow.

Elric wasn't kidding when he said the place was close to his place. It was literally two rooms away. This only made him feel suspicious. Deciding to ignore it, he got onto the elevator and went to his (and apparently the customer's) floor.

Moments later, he arrived at the customer's doorstep. He rang the doorbell and was surprised when moments later, a beautiful woman opened the door.

Her face a perfect picture of beauty. A perfectly shaped nose, adorably complimenting her other features. Her blue eyes akin to that of the sea. The adorable freckles that lined her cheeks kept him enamored as her black hair swayed lightly, sometimes turning dark brown because of the light. And her lips. Those lips he felt like he could kiss for hours on end.

He'd have to thank Elric tomorrow for giving him this chance.

He regained his composure immediately and started to speak.

"One large pepperoni pizza from Domino's most handome pizza guy." He grinned cheekily. Flashing her a toothy smile.

She didn't respond which made him worry a little. He simmered down before speaking again.

"Ma'am, are you okay?" He inquired frowning slightly in worry.

Yeah, he's pretty dense.

"Y-Yeah. How mu- How much is that again?" The woman stuttered out which brought his smile back. She looked heavenly.

"10$ apparently. I think you could just... Yep. That's 10$." He replied after looking at the receipt. The woman handed him the payment and was about to get some more money but he shook his head.

"I'm technically not on duty right now. My friends over at the pizza place wanted to mess with me and told me to send this out on my way home. I can't accept this." He stated, though really. He could've taken it, but he didn't really want to.

"Oh. I'm sorry then. I think it was the special instructions thing that I wrote which caused this."

The woman looked down after saying this which caused him to panic slightly but he didn't show it.

"Nah, I don't mind. We live in the same apartment complex. I'm literally two rooms away." He replied nonchalantly, gesturing to where his room is with his free hand. He didn't really mind. Plus, he got the pleasure of meeting her.

"Wait, what? How come we never saw each other?"

Einarr only shrugs in response. He was wondering the same thing.

Soon after, the woman realized that he was still holding the pizza box and quickly took it from him, her face flushed. 'Damn, she's cute.'

"Well, it was nice meeting you. Maybe we could hang out sometime since you apparently live so close to me."

His face lit up at that and he smiled brightly at her which seemed to ellicit some sort of reaction from her. He didn't know what it was though.

I'd like that." He responds cheerfully before walking away. Taking another mental note to thank Elric.

He heard the familiar sound of a door closing before he got to his room.

Once inside, he quickly changed out of his uniform into a plain black t-shirt and gray sweatpants. He decided to study for his exams.

He'd try his best to get by on his own and he usually gets it but there are times where Elric helps him out with certain subjects. (Physics lul) That's actually what made them so close.

He put on his reading glasses and grabbed his calculus book but was quickly interrupted by his doorbell ringing.

He quickly walked over to his door and opened it.

Only to be greeted by the sight of the woman from before. Much more composed and confident this time though which he found appealing.

"Oh, it's you. I forgot to tell you my name earlier didn't I?"

She only nods in response which he took as his cue to keep talking.

"My name's Einarr. I don't believe I caught your name either."

He scratched the back of his head lightly. The woman in front of him was unbearable cute and it was taking a lot out of him to stay in control.

"Shara." Was her only reply before proceeding to stare at him directly which he found odd.

"It's nice to meet you Shara. Do you need anything?" He questions politely, having regained his composure completely and noticing her staring at him.

"I was wondering if maybe- if maybe you wanted some pizza as well. I don't think I can eat all of it by myself." She replies, shifting from one foot to another. Meanwhile, Einarr was over the moon. He smiled softly before responding.

"That would be great, thank you. But are you sure? I wouldn't want to intrude."

She pouts at him which confused him but he paid it no mind. He was more focused on how adorable she looked.

"I wouldn't ask you if I didn't want to, y'know?" She stated, a slight pink tint on her cheeks.

"Well, if you insist. I'd be glad to be your guest for the night." He chuckled before putting his slippers on and following Shara into her room.

Once inside, they started talking for hours and only finished well into the night due to Shara falling asleep. He decided not to wake her up, she just looked to peaceful to disturb. She must've been tired.

And so, he carried her to her bedroom and tucked her in. He took the pizza box and put the leftovers on a plate before throwing it away.

Deciding it would be good to leave a note, he did.

With a bit of difficulty since he doesn't really write these sorts of things.

"Thank you for last night. It was fun. I'll make sure to treat you to pizza one of these days as payment and hopefully get to talk to you more.

-Einarr"

With that, he took his leave. Closing the door behind him and going to his own bedroom. He decided he would study at a later date and decided to just go to sleep.

The next day, he was woken up by the sound of his doorbell ringing.

(This is really just the other story taken from Einarr's POV. Elric and Shara belong to @murphysics and neither of us own or are sponsored by Domino's. Though I wish I was because I need money. Lol)

[popatochisssp]

Fur a Good Time, Call... 3/15

Series: Undertale, Horrortale Relationship(s): HT!Sans/Reader, HT!Papyrus & Reader Chapter Warnings: none

You work at an animal shelter. You love all your fuzzy buddies and can’t imagine a better job for yourself than looking after cats and dogs all day, even when the work is hard and often gross. What can you say? You’ve got a lot of love to give!

You’re just not quite sure yet how you feel about the new monster who’s been helping out these days, and this riddle wrapped up in an enigma is something you just can’t resist investigating…

AO3 Link

Crushed

Sometimes, you kept weird hours at night.

You had a bad habit of coming home from work and immediately passing out, only to wake up around ten or eleven at night and have some space to fill until you could get back to sleep again.

Occasionally you made do with the slim pickings of nighttime TV or made yourself some food that you probably shouldn’t be eating so late, but mostly you resorted to screwing around on the internet with your phone.

That was how you found out that Sans kept weird hours, too.

You had stumbled across one of those unfortunate neon sign burnouts—one ‘Elmhurst Emergency & Trauma Center’ that became the ‘ Im hur t Emergency & Trauma Center’— and immediately thought of somebody who would appreciate it.

Before you could reason with yourself that it was after midnight and you had literally never sent Sans a text before and this was a hell of an opener with no context, you’d sent off the photo.

A response came not ten minutes later.

PUNbelievable: lol thanks for that, Pap just yelled at me to keep it down.

You: Sorry, not sorry!

And that was the humble beginning of your textual friendship with Sans.

You texted back and forth about a lot of things. Most of it was silly stuff you found online (you’d been right, Sans did appreciate memes) but you were surprised by how many topics could arise from that kind of thing.

You: No way you have that many.

PUNbelievable: you doubt my hoarding ability? [IMG-1]

You: Holy shit, so that’s what 86 rocks looks like. Congrats?

PUNbelievable: and those are just the pretty ones. i got some more in shoeboxes and stuff.

You: You have shoes?!

PUNbelievable: hey hey hey what do you take me for, some kind of fancypants? no shoes, just the boxes.

You’d even started to go a little out of your usual way to find things Sans might get a kick out of. You started following a couple geology-themed blogs just so you’d occasionally find something nerdy to share.

You: [IMG-24]

PUNbelievable: whoa, perfect cleavage, thanks. yours?

You: Not mine. Perfect, though? Really? I just thought it was gneiss.

PUNbelievable: calcite, actually.

You: LOL!

Completely by accident, you’d also discovered his love of cat photos. He sent them to you often as reaction images, some he probably just found online but a lot you recognized as cats from the shelter.

He admitted to you that pretty much whenever he got a free moment at work, he was in the cat room, picking up or poking or otherwise gently harassing somebody.

PUNbelievable: most of them are just chill little dudes, they’re great. i love it when they get happy and start vibrating, that’s the best.

You: You don’t have to convince me, I love every one of those fuzzbutts, especially when they purr! I think I just might be more of a dog-person.

PUNbelievable: really? i thought you were a human-person.

You: Hilarious, spoken like a true cat-person. I should’ve put you as Good@Cats in my phone.

PUNbelievable: what am i now?

You: PUNbelievable.

PUNbelievable: what that’s great!

PUNbelievable: keep it!

PUNbelievable: it’s perfect!

A triple-text and the first time you’d ever seen him use exclamation points: how could you say no to that?

It didn’t take long before you caught yourself thinking of Sans as a friend—not just a work-friend, an actual friend—and you weren’t positive, but you were pretty sure he thought of you the same way.

For one thing, when you talked to him at the shelter, he actually talked back. It was a little thing, but it was so unlike the clipped and stiff replies he gave when other people tried to make conversation that it was a noticeable difference.

Sans’ silence had seemed so antisocial and mysterious back before you knew him. Now that you did, it seemed infinitely obvious that the man was just an awkward dork who wasn’t sure what to say and didn’t want to bug anybody so he split the difference by saying as little as possible.

He smiled a little wider when he saw you, though, and mostly came to you now when he’d finished a task and wasn’t sure what else needed doing. He was always available when you were about ready to go to lunch and happily gushed to you over how well his brother’s schooling was going, and he listened attentively when you talked about your own life, even when it couldn’t have been very interesting to hear about.

Sans had to be a friend: you couldn’t think of anybody else you’d rather send videos at three in the morning, and that was the truest measure of friendship you could think of.

Speaking of which…

You: [LINK: Sad Cat Diary]

PUNbelievable: oh big mood.

You snicker a little at the mental image of Sans, huge and spooky-looking, trying to sneak up on a tiny thumbtack in the wall.

You’re glad you went for it that day when you asked Sans to lunch. It was impulsive and a little nerve-wracking to put yourself out there like that, but it netted you a really good friend.

You couldn’t regret that, not even a little bit.

-

Buddy was with you again, which seemed superfluous to say at this point, but there he was.

His clicker training had gone incredibly well—the food-motivated little gremlin that he was—and you’d gotten him to pick up all the basic commands that people expected out of their dogs and didn’t want to have to teach them.

He knew sit, stay, drop it (though he was stubborn and sometimes pretended he didn’t), and even shake! He’d also pretty quickly picked up when and where he was supposed to do his business, and after all the socialization you’d been doing with him he didn’t flinch or shy away from being touched by people anymore.

With all that and his clean bill of health from the vet, Buddy was almost ready to go up for adoption.

There was just one small formality left on the list to check off, and it was how Buddy interacted with other animals. Since he spent so much time in the dog room, around other dogs, you already had a pretty good idea of how he was with his own species, so you’d gotten your boy leashed up, asked Sans to snag a couple cats for you, and met in the playroom.

Based on Buddy’s walk awhile back, you had a feeling you knew how this would go, but better to get it all done according to the shelter’s protocols.

Sans was standing there waiting for you when you and Buddy walked in. At your advice, he’d grabbed Snickers and Button, two of the more easygoing cats you currently had with a history of not batting the shit out of curious dog noses.

You had to cover a laugh at the sight of Sans, though. Button was fully latched onto Sans’ arm, all four limbs wrapped around it while she chewed at the cuff of his sleeve, and Snickers had perched herself up on his shoulder to paw at his face while he ineffectively tried to lean away.

“You good over there?” you asked, just to cover your bases.

“yep. as you can see, i’m a ladies man.”

You bent down, undoing Buddy’s leash and giving him a quick pat. “Would you be offended if I made the obvious ‘drowning in pussy’ joke?”

“yes, i would,” Sans said. “that’s just vulgar. low-brow. have some class, wouldja?”

You laughed, which had clearly been Sans’ intention. He grinned proudly even as he knelt and tried to shoo the cats off his body, a little easier to do now that there was something else for them to focus on.

Buddy, for his part, was reacting pretty much exactly how you’d expected. He was alert and very obviously curious…but also extremely unsure about these small bendy-looking dogs that were fearlessly trotting up to him.

“you think he’ll be alright?”

You shrugged. “I think so,” you decided, “more or less. I wouldn’t put him down as a great choice for homes with other pets, but if they’re friendly like the girls here, I don’t think he’d be in trouble.”

Buddy had mustered enough courage to give Snickers a good sniff…only to recoil a little as she sniffed him, something that was obviously uncalled for and totally unpredictable.

“that’s what this is for, yeah?” Sans asked, and you turned to face him. “you’re seein’ what kinda place he’d be a good fit for?”

“Yeah. I mean, that’s pretty much what we’ve been doing the whole time he’s been here. Adoption’s the goal: we don’t have as many rules and procedures as a rescue, but we still want everybody to end up somewhere good.”

Sans’ red eye moved from you to the animals. Button was trying to loop around Buddy’s feet, which Buddy was not sure he was totally cool with.

“so…what’s ‘somewhere good’ for buddy?”

The question made you consider it. “Well… he’d probably need somebody a little patient. He’s still nervous around new stuff and needs awhile to get used to it.”

“sure.”

“Ideally an only-pet situation,” you added. You gestured to where Snickers was playfully trying to catch Buddy’s tail while Buddy hastily tucked it and scrambled around to keep her in his line of sight. “Can you imagine him having to deal with that all day? Or worse, a territorial cat?”

“nah, he’s a lover, not a fighter.”

“Exactly! Big ol’ marshmallow.” You smiled fondly. “Buddy just needs a place where somebody can be his best friend.”

“so…you, right?”

Cue the mental record-scratch.

“Huh?”

Sans clearly didn’t think he’d said anything unusual. “everything you just described is you. you’re patient, no pets, you’re already his best pal. why can’t you take ‘im?”

“I…” You frowned. “I can’t.”

Sans didn’t say anything, but you felt his eye on you so you turned to watch Buddy again. He’d laid down to keep his underside protected, and the cats were rubbing up against him on either side.

It was adorable.

“I can’t,” you said again. “I…work way too much. I’m always here, y’know? I’d feel awful leaving…a dog,” you pointedly don’t say Buddy’s name, “alone in the house all day long. And then half the time when I get home, I just go straight to bed, so I wouldn’t even be able to play with him or give him the attention he should get.”

You chanced a look at Sans. His expression…wasn’t judgmental. Maybe a little…sad? But he wasn’t judging you.

You sighed. “It just wouldn’t be fair to him,” you say finally. “I’ve always believed you shouldn’t get a pet if you can’t take care of it. Buddy’s a good boy, he’ll go to a good home real fast. I wouldn’t worry about it.”

“……if you say so,” Sans replied eventually. “guess i just always wondered why ya didn’t have your own pet when ya take care of ‘em all day. i know i thought havin’ a pet was pretty cool.”

Was? Oh, no.

“Did you…did you lose a pet, Sans?”

You shouldn’t be so surprised. The monsters went through hell underground, it should follow that no one was exempt from it, not even pets… but the thought still hurt your heart.

“yeah,” Sans said, and you ached with sympathy. You reached out to put a comforting hand on his arm when he continued, “Pap and i used to have a pet rock.”

Your expression flattened. “What do you mean, ‘used to’?” you demanded. “You’ve got like a hundred pet rocks.”

“nah, those are just rocks, they’re not pets,” Sans insisted. “not like rocky was.”

“……His name was Rocky.” Sans nodded. “I am…ninety percent sure you’re fucking with me.”

Sans put a hand to his chest, like an affronted southern belle. “would i do that?”

“Yes.”

“i’m hurt,” Sans said. “really. cut deep. rocky was a very important part of our family, i mourn his loss every day.”

“Okay, so what happened to him?” you wondered, suspicion evident.

“ran away.”

“…………”

“Pap blamed me for it,” Sans continued, shaking his head. “he was probably right to. i never fed him his sprinkles on time. didn’t appreciate him the way i should’ve, he was my rock and i just wasn’t there for him…”

“I’m a hundred percent now,” you said. “You’re fucking with me.”

Sans laughed, loudly and unabashedly. It made you laugh a little too, even though you shoved him in the arm right after.

“You’re such a jerk!”

“seriously, though,” he said. “if you ever meet Papyrus, ask ‘im about rocky, he’ll tell ya’.”

“Oh, I’m sure,” you said, tone dripping with sarcasm. You went over to rescue Buddy from his wannabe feline friends and added, “You better hope I don’t meet Papyrus because I’m gonna remember this and ask him and you’re gonna be exposed as a total liar!”

It wasn’t until you’d gotten Buddy’s leash back on and body-blocked your poor dog friend a little from Button and Snickers that you realized your designated cat-wrangler hadn’t answered you.

“Sans?”

He had his phone out and a serious expression on his skull as he penned something in. You’d learned only a week back that he kept a lot of reminders in his phone. He said it had been a major lifesaver to have something with him that could remember important dates and times for him, even when he couldn’t.

“Did you forget something?” you ask him gently.

Sans took a second to reply. “nah, just…remembered something i wanna do later. don’t wanna forget about it.”

“Okay.” You didn’t dwell on it. “Can you get Heckle and Jeckle here for me? I think Buddy’s had enough friendship for today.”

“yeah, sure.”

Sans scooped up the cats for you with only minimal mewing as protest, and you gave Buddy a scratch at his neck.

“Good boy,” you reassured him, leading him back to his kennel.

You were a little distracted, trying to decide how his adoption description should go.

You’d post it on the shelter website before you left work today.

-

The next day had you feeling…a little annoyed.

A new employee started today, somebody else’s young relative if his last name and obvious resemblance to your coworker were any indication, and no one had ever made you hate nepotism so much in your life.

You tried to rein it in: he was young and it was literally his first day, probably his first ever job and you knew there was always a learning curve. You wanted to respect that!

But… you might feel a little more forgiving if it seemed like he even sorta cared about the shelter and what you all did here.

You couldn’t speak to anyone else’s experience with him, but every time so far you’d tried to show him where something was or what the procedure is for such-and-such, he was looking off into the middle distance and nodding his head when he thought you were looking for an answer.

His phone buzzed once while you were talking and he broke direct eye-contact with you to respond to it.

You knew right then that he was somebody only in it for the paycheck. You didn’t think there was anything wrong with that, a job was a job, but he could at least have some decorum and try to look like he wasn’t bored of being there right in front of the person training him!

It was even worse because today was a day Sans wasn’t working. You couldn’t even complain to him about the new guy, or ask him to cover all the stuff he probably wasn’t doing that you’d have to go do yourself later.

Needless to say, you were already in a not-so-great mood when he came up to you in the middle of litterbox emptying around mid-afternoon asking for your attention—by the wrong name.

You didn’t bother to correct him. “Yeah, I can take a minute. What’s up?”

“The front desk girl called back. She said a guy wants to see a dog?”

…helpful. “Did she say anything else?” you prompted. “We got a lot of dogs here.”

He squinted, seeming to think about it. “Uhhh… I think it was Buddy? Or something like that.”

You weren’t quite prepared for the way your stomach dropped when he said the name. To cover it you spoke quickly, “Okay, thank you, I’ll go handle that. Can you finish cleaning the litterboxes for me?”

He sighed deeply, muttering, “I guess,” but you were already shucking off your gloves and heading to the sink to wash your hands. You could comfort yourself later with the knowledge that this guy couldn’t possibly last long here with an attitude like that. For now…

Oh, god.

You knew this was coming. You’d written up a great description for the website, and Buddy sat for his picture like a professional model: one ear flopped and the other pointed up with his pretty blue eyes and his tongue lolling happily out of his mouth.

He was a good boy and a beautiful dog, you knew he’d get adopted quick.

You just…hadn’t thought it would be so soon.

It’s not like you hadn’t gotten attached to dogs before. It happened a lot, actually, and it hurt a little each time watching them walk out the shelter door, but it had always been a light sting, easily soothed by the knowledge that they were going to a good home with people who’d love them.

But you had a terrible feeling that Buddy was going to hurt a lot more.

“How come you’re different, you little stinker?” you asked him, opening up his kennel and stepping in.

Buddy seemed oblivious to your sudden distress. He all but hopped off his cot when he saw you and the leash in your hand, his tail wagging while he sniffed at your pant leg in greeting and oh stars, this was going to be the last time he ever did that.

You got down on your knees to put his leash on. “C’mon, you gotta be a good boy. We’re gonna go meet your new dad.”

Because really, there wasn’t a question of if. It was like you’d told Sans, there wasn’t really a screening process or applications needed to take home a pet from here.

If you liked a dog, filled out the single sheet of paperwork, and paid the fee, that was your dog—and who wouldn’t like a sweetheart like Buddy once they met him?

You took a deep breath and got back to your feet. “Alright,” you said, mostly to yourself. “Alright. Let’s go, Buddy.”

The walk over to the lobby seemed shorter than it had ever been. You had to force yourself not to stop right before the doorway for ‘just a minute,’ knowing damn well that it wouldn’t be just a minute.

When you got there, there was only one person waiting in the lobby…and the sight of him nearly made you drop the leash.

He was a skeleton.

If you’d thought Sans was a big guy, the sight of this man scrunched into the almost comically small waiting chairs had instantly disabused you of the notion. It was hard to get a bead on exactly how tall he must be, since he was seated so politely with folded hands, but you’d guess he might be actually double your height, if not taller. He at least wasn’t built as broadly as your friend, but his overall length of limb seemed to make up for it and if it weren’t for his obvious good manners the sheer size of him might’ve been enough to make you a little nervous.

Well…his manners, the cobalt-blue squares of his (really cute) braces, and his matching glasses frames that were actually taped to the sides of his skull.

He spotted you almost the moment you walked in and rose to greet you.

“Hello!” he said cheerfully, offering one massive, spindly hand for you to shake. “I’m Papyrus! It’s A Pleasure To Meet You.”

It was…interesting trying to figure out how to shake his hand in return with the obvious size difference, but he took pity on you and helped you make it work. You introduced yourself right back.

“Ah, Of Course,” he said when you told him your name, “Sans’ Human. He’s Told Me A Lot About You, All Good Things, Naturally!”

You laughed a little, feeling just a tiny bit nervous all of a sudden at the thought of Sans talking about you—and at being called ‘Sans’ human.’ “Likewise. Uh, congratulations on acing that test last week!”

Papyrus scoffed, but you couldn’t help but notice the sudden hint of denim-blue on his cheekbones. “Thank You, But Really, I Have No Idea Why Sans Would Brag About That To Anyone! Did He Tell You The Exam Was On The Human Skeletal System?”

“Pfft… No, he left that part out, I think.”

“I Didn’t Even Study, For Obvious Reasons,” he told you, gesturing broadly to himself. You suddenly noticed the vibrant rainbow tie-dye crop-top he was wearing, and the black jacket he had over it with intricately embroidered flowers stitched into the leather.

Sans had been so right: Papyrus was insanely cool.

“We’re Getting Off-Topic,” he declared, bending further from his already hunched position to look at the dog beside you. “This Must Be Buddy. Hello!”

Buddy’s nose went straight into the hand Papyrus reached out to him, sniffing with vigor as always.

“Ah, You Smell My Bone Cologne! You Must Be A Dog Of Excellent Taste, A Connoisseur Of Fine Smells!”

You couldn’t help your smile. “Buddy certainly is that,” you agreed. The cold dread that had pooled in your gut at the thought of Buddy being adopted today had curiously disappeared and it left you feeling lighter than air. “Why don’t we all head to the playroom for a bit? You can interact with him a little better in there than in the lobby.”

“Excellent Suggestion!” Papyrus said. “I Would Be Delighted!”

The skeleton followed you further into the shelter, ducking under door frames blatantly not built with his height in mind. You were glad that the playroom had a high ceiling so everyone would be comfortable there.

As soon as you were all through the door, you unclipped Buddy’s leash and wrapped it up around your hand. “Papyrus, you can go ahead and ask Buddy to bring you a ‘t-o-y,’ he knows what that word means and he’s good at fetch.”

“Oh, So Am I!”

“Really?”

“Yes, Unrivaled At Fetch In All Of Snowdin,” he said proudly before pausing and looking a tad hesitant. You noticed he had the same nervous gesture Sans had, of looking down and to the left, and you found it unspeakably endearing. “Well, I Was, Anyway, For A Time. I, Erm…Worked Quite Closely With The Canine Unit And My Fetch Time Was Always The Best Out Of All Of Them! My Training Regimen Hasn’t Been…As Rigorous As It Was Back Then, Though, So I Suppose I Can’t Say With Certainty That It’s The Same. I’ve Been Busy Lately, Even By My Own Standards!”

“I know the feeling,” you empathized. “Adding Buddy into the mix won’t be too much, will it?”

Papyrus laughed, a bright and booming ‘NYEH-HEH-HEH’ that totally disarmed you.

“I Don’t See How It Could Be,” Papyrus assured you. “Buddy,” the dog focused on him instantly, “Can You Bring Me A Toy?”

Buddy perked right up when he heard the word of fun-times and happily bounced off to pick his favorite, a spiky rubber hedgehog that had seen better days, but its squeaker still worked so it was The Golden Toy to many of the dogs here.

Papyrus seemed pleased to have the slimy thing dropped into his hand and he gave it a gentle lob across the room. Buddy went after it like a shot. Almost as if he knew his performance was being judged, he even jumped a little to snatch it right out of the air.

Papyrus gave a suitably impressed noise and patted Buddy on the head when he returned the hedgehog. “Well,” he said, giving the toy another toss, “He’s Smart And Fast And A Very Handsome Dog—He’s Already Met All My Standards!”

“I can’t say I’m surprised, I’m pretty fond of Buddy myself. I, uh, I have to admit, though, I am curious why…” You frowned, wondering if the thing you were about to ask was presumptive. “Did…Sans tell you? About Buddy?”

“Yes, Of Course!” Buddy brought the hedgehog back again and Papyrus put it to the side, abandoning the play in favor of scratching through Buddy’s black and white fur. “We Don’t Really Keep Secrets. I’ve Known About Buddy For Quite Awhile!”

“Oh. Right.” You cleared your throat. “Then, I guess I don’t have to give you the disclaimer about his one unfortunate biting incident? Which hasn’t been repeated!” you quickly added.

Papyrus didn’t seem concerned. “The Only Thing Unfortunate About That Incident Is That Sans Still Wears That Old Hoodie!” Buddy had rolled over onto his back and if his windmill of a tail was any indication, his new skeleton friend was very good at belly rubs. “It Speaks To Buddy’s Tenacity! I Admire A Dog Who’ll Protect Himself When He’s In Trouble!”

Not many people saw it that way—an aggressive dog was just an aggressive dog, even with extenuating circumstances. Papyrus’ perspective was…refreshing.

“Well… he’s not exactly a guard dog, if that’s what you’re looking for,” you cautioned. “Mostly, he runs away if he’s in trouble, so…”

“That’s Even Better! Unnecessary Conflict Is So…Unnecessary!” Papyrus grinned broadly at you. Even with his braces, it was a totally winning smile. “I Think Buddy Will Fit Right In At Our House!”

“That’s…that’s great!” you said and you sincerely meant it. “If you’re ready to take him home today, we can go back to the front and get everything settled.”

Papyrus agreed immediately.

On the way there, he seemed compelled to assure you that he was well-prepared for Buddy’s arrival. He’d read through as much dog-ownership literature as he could find online last night and purchased all the essentials as soon as the stores had opened this morning: kibble, a bed, a leash and collar set with bones on them—and how fashion-forward was it of dog-accessories to include bones in their designs? Papyrus was very impressed!

“…And Of Course, He’ll Get Plenty Of Exercise, I’ve Been Looking For A Jogging Buddy And He Already Has The Right Name For It!”

You laughed. “Papyrus, I can’t tell you how great that is to hear. I love knowing my dogs are going somewhere good for them. You know half the people who adopt don’t even fill out the form all the way?”

Papyrus looked at the piece of paper you handed to him. He flipped it over to see the blank backside and frowned. “What, Seriously???”

“Seriously. It's not technically required, mostly for record-keeping, so people just don't do it or leave a bunch of blanks. You wouldn’t believe how many of those have no addresses because people couldn’t be bothered to remember what street they lived on.”

“………” Papyrus started snickering. “Oh My God, How Embarrassing… Nyeh-Heh-Heh, I Really Shouldn’t Laugh,” he said, grabbing a pen and jotting down his information. “That Sounds Like Exactly The Kind of Thing Sans Would Do.”

“Does it really?”

“Sadly, Yes. If I’d Left This Up To Him, It Would All Be Blank Except For Maybe His Name. And Then He Wouldn’t Turn It In. And I’d Find It Three Weeks Later Crumpled Up In His Trash-Tornado.”

“That sounds…exactly right, actually.” Sorry, Sans, can’t defend you against completely true accusations!

The lobby was quiet for a few moments, filled only by the sound of Buddy’s panting and the scratching of the pen.

Then Papyrus spoke up again. “Actually… Is…. Feel Free Not To Answer, If It’s Something You Don’t Feel Comfortable Discussing, But… Sans.”

You waited for him to finish his thought, but he didn’t. “Yes?” you prompted.

“He’s Not… Is He Like That Here?” Papyrus asked you, looking concerned. “I Know He’s Not Technically ‘Employed,’ But… He Does Things Here, Right? He Doesn’t Just… I Don’t Know, Sit In The Break Room All Day And Look Busy When Someone Important Walks By?”

You blinked, startled by the thought. “No, he doesn’t do that. He’s a big help around here. Actually,” you added, sheepish and a little quiet in case your voice carried, “I was kind of upset he wasn’t in today, ‘cause I don’t think I’m gonna get as much done without him around to lend a hand.”

You may as well have told Papyrus it was his birthday and every other holiday combined into one.

“Really? Oh, That’s Great!” He pressed a hand to his chest and heaved out a relieved sigh. You weren’t quite sure how that worked with a skeleton, but there it was. “I’m So Glad He’s Being Productive. I Knew This Place Would Be Good For Him! He’s Even Made Two Wonderful Friends!”

Oh, that meant you and Buddy, didn’t it? You think you might be flushing a little, but try to play it cool.

You and Papyrus get the adoption fee and all the other logistical stuff taken care of and soon enough, “That’s it, Buddy’s all yours, free and clear!”

“Thank You So Much For Your Assistance! And Obviously, Call Me Anytime!”

You paused. “Call you?”

“Yes, Of Course! My Number Is On The Form.” Papyrus seemed to notice you were still confused. “Sans Mentioned You May Want To Come Visit Buddy From Time To Time. You Seem Almost As Busy As I Am, We’d Probably Need To Align Schedules At Some Point To Make It Work.”

Sans mentioned…?

You put a pin in your train of thought. Hesitantly, you got out your phone and pulled the piece of paper closer. “Are you sure that’s alright?” you asked, just to make sure. “I, uh… I can’t say I don’t want to see Buddy again sometime, but….”

“Nonsense, Any Friend Of Sans Is Welcome Over Whenever.” Papyrus gave another quick pat to Buddy’s head. “And Any Friend Of Buddy Is Doubly Welcome!”

Good enough for you! You put his number in your contacts, just under ‘Papyrus’ for now. “You know,” you said as you did so, “we could be friends, too. If you wanted.”

When you looked up from your phone, you found Papyrus staring at you like…well, like he didn’t know what to say.

“…Really?”

“Sure?” Offering to be friends with somebody shouldn’t have been able to put a look of such touched elation on their face, but there was Papyrus looking like you’d just offered him the moon in a few short words.

“Oh! Well, That’s! That’s Fantastic! I Accept!” He was blushing blue again even as he laughed that cute laugh of his. “A Friend, Wowie!” He seemed to remember Buddy at his feet. “Two Friends! What A Day! I’m Sorry To Leave So Suddenly, But I Think I Have Some Energy to Run Off Right Now, Do You Mind?”

“Not at all,” you promised. “Go bond with your new dog.”

“I Will, And Thank You Again! Come Along, Buddy!”

Buddy spared a glance at you, seeming to wonder why you weren’t coming with, but he wasn’t concerned enough to hesitate more than a second before trotting after Papyrus out the door.

Buddy didn’t need to worry about never seeing you again, after all. Neither did you, for that matter.

All thanks to a certain meddling skeleton.

A skeleton that you called the second you went off the clock for lunch.

“y’ello?” he answered after a couple rings, sounding a little like you’d just woken him up.

You didn’t waste time feeling guilty about it. “Hey, did you tell your brother to adopt Buddy?”

“heheh, what? no.”

“Really? Because he said—”

“look, i don’t tell Papyrus to do anything,” Sans said flatly. “…but maybe i did mention that the cool dog was up for adoption, the one who tried to eat my terrible jacket that Pap hates. and that my pal at the shelter might be a little, uh… sad if he went real far away and they couldn’t see ‘im anymore. if he decided to go pick buddy up after that, that’s just serendipity, y’know?”

You huffed out an incredulous breath. “I can’t believe you did that.”

“did what?”

“You adopted a dog for me!”

“he’s a good dog. Papyrus can tire ‘im out when he’s not at work or studying and i’m not at the shelter every day, so i got ‘im the rest of the time. that’s what you were worried about, right? buddy gettin’ left alone too much?”

“Well…yeah.”

“so, problem solved, right? plus you can have visitation an’ stuff. long as you pay child support.”

You snorted loudly. “Child support?”

“yeah, child support. he was your son first.”

“He’s not my— what even is ‘child support’ in this scenario?”

Sans sounded like he was thinking it over. “mmm…lunch for a month?”

“…you’re kidding.”

“you’re right, two months.”

“That’s not how haggling works!”

“drivin’ a hard bargain, huh? okay, a week.”

You finally broke down giggling. “Fine,” you laugh, “fine, a week.”

“oh, nice, i didn’t think that would actually work.”

What a goober.

“Oh my god. Okay, sorry to bug you on your day off, you can go back to bed now, I guess.”

“bold of you to assume i ever left it.”

“And Sans?”

“yeah?”

“Thanks.” It seemed weak. Not enough of a word to convey the warm gratitude you felt bubbling up in your chest when you thought about what he’d just done for you—him and his brother both.

It was weak, but it was all you could think to say.

“forget about it,” Sans said simply.

And that was that.

You got on with your day, going to lunch, coming back and dealing with your duties and that damn new guy, but the whole time, in the back of your mind, you were thinking, He adopted a dog for me. He sent Papyrus to adopt Buddy so I wouldn’t be sad.

You were starting to think that maybe you were in trouble here.

Your relationship with your ‘pretty good friend’ was starting to feel an awful lot like a crush.

-

Later that night, Sans texted you first.

PUNbelievable: hey, sounds like you made my bro real happy today. thanks, he deserves to have more good stuff in his life.

So do you, was your first thought, but something told you Sans might not see it your way.

You: Sure, he’s as cool as you said he was, but don’t think you’re off the hook about that Rocky thing because I forgot earlier. I’m gonna ask him next time and then you’re busted!

PUNbelievable: lol

You had almost mustered enough irritation to be playfully annoyed at him when he sent another message.

PUNbelievable: [IMG-13]

It was picture of Buddy curled up on a bare mattress in a dark room—Sans’ room—with a big bony hand settled on his withers mid-fur-ruffle.

PUNbelievable: somebody’s making himself right at home, guess life over here ain’t so ruff.

…Okay, yep. You were crushing.

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[lostworldpixie]

Emily Is Away Too - Survey Note

I’m just playing through Emily Is Away Too and I decided to do that note thingy lol from Emily’s Face NOOK page haha. So here it is :)

What made you start liking the person you like right now? Not really into anyone right now tbh. Still getting over my latest heartbreak lmao Fess up, who was the last person you thought about kissing? See above What brings out the worst in you? Usually when people decide to go off on me, I get really mad and tend to say some horrible stuff heh.. it’s ruined me some friendships I can tell you that Do you believe in 11:11? It’s a time and it exists lol If you were in the hospital on life support, would your ex come see you? I highly doubt that Have you seen the last person you were talking on the phone with naked? Nope lmao Is there anybody you wish you could be spending time with right now? Yep.. and it hurts heh Do you find smoking attractive? Nah Think of the last person who hurt you, do you forgive them? Honestly yeah, things ended on good terms so like I’m not mad at them Have you ever slept on a couch with someone? Yeah!  Are you afraid of falling in love? Nope but yes at the same time lol When's the next time you'll see your closest friend? Hopefully Friday Who do you trust 100%? Josh and Kaitlin mostly How many dogs do you have? Just one, but he might be going to the vet this week for his final visit :( Want someone or something you can't have? Yep... Are you stubborn? Haha yeah.. I think I am Have you had a friend for many years and then they left just like that? Yep, that shit sucks Last thing you did before bed last night? I always send Josh a goodnight text and some wholesome memes before I go to bed haha, then I watch YouTube and fall asleep Who was the last person you rode in a car with? My mom Do you have any friends you have never gotten into an argument with? I mean no. Arguments happen if you spend a significant amount of time with someone Did you get the last person you texted a present for their last birthday? Nah, it’s someone I just started talking to  Would you be able to live without the last person you fought with? Yeah I think so Do you have any friends who never shut up about their boyfriend/girlfriend? Nope Did you have any unread texts when you woke up today? Yeah I usually do haha Does the last person whose house you were at like anyone? I haven’t really been to anyone’s house lately lol. It was probably my sister’s house I was at last, and I’m pretty sure she likes her husband :p Have you ever watched someone being carried into an ambulance? Yeah my mom.. but it was years ago and she is better now :) What time did you wake up last Saturday? Why? I don't remember lol probably early Do you have a common first name? I don’t think so Do you want to fix things with anyone? Yeah too many people  Do you like calling or texting better? Texting I think. Depends on the person tho If you could go back in time and change one thing what would it be? Probably fixing things with the last person I had to say goodbye to You’re going on a walk at night who's the first person you call to come along? Josh Who do you have texts from in your phone? A few people Honestly, whose numbers do you have memorized? Only my own lol What is your mom saved as in your phone? Mom Does it bother you when someone lies to you? Well yes lol, even if someone thinks they’re lying to spare your feelings, I always appreciate the truth better Was it a boy or a girl to text you first today? A boy lol I don’t really have any female friends I just realised Think back to this time last year, were you happy? Yeah, I think so Why do you hate the person you hate the most? I don't really hate anyone Do you think you're wasting your time on the person you like? Like I said I’m still getting over some shit Do you really, truly miss someone right now?

See above.. Do you know anyone who would just drop everything to come see you? Yeah, probably lol

[verdigrisprowl]

May 5 Bevel’s Movie Night - Tin Man ep1 & Steven Universe ep10-12

Bevel is back!

Prowl and Soundwave left immediately after the Tin Man episode, because they’re tired. Which is just as well, because Tin Man had a lot of nonconsensual mnemosurgery-analogous junk, and that was a bit much for Prowl, so it’s a good thing he didn’t stick around to see the Giant Woman episode and ensuing discussion of combiners.

Me 7:55 pm ((im appreciating the drunk history)) Bevel 7:56 pm ((sadly the full episodes aren't on youtube but the hints of hilarity are fun too Me 7:56 pm ((indeed)) Me 8:07 pm ((he's on the frigging floor omg)) Bevel 8:07 pm ((he's showing us where Teddy Roosevelt is Me 8:08 pm ((a very dedicated historian)) Me 8:10 pm ((the lip syncing is always so good in these)) Tarantulas 8:10 pm (( i've never seen these before omg Bevel 8:10 pm ((lol drunk history is hilarious *This is how Bevel learns history from Ratchet, she loves this* Bevel 8:13 pm ((ok, starting in a few minutes if everyone's ready? ItsyBitsySpyers 8:14 pm ((yep)) Me 8:17 pm ((episode 3?)) Ratchet 8:17 pm [[ this music sounds really familiar ]] Bevel 8:17 pm ((lemme fix that ItsyBitsySpyers 8:17 pm *Soundwave trudges in and drops into his seat with no flourishes whatsoever.*

[[...You're back.]] Ratchet 8:18 pm *Ratchet pops in, as he does* Bevel 8:18 pm For a little bit. *grins* I know where the Star Saber is. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:18 pm *Sits up as much as he has the energy to do.*

[[Do you, now.]] Bevel 8:19 pm Hi, Ratchet! Ratchet 8:19 pm Heya. What're we watching? Bevel 8:19 pm Tin Man. It is about some world called Oz. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:20 pm [[...This does not look like the Emerald City.]] Ratchet 8:20 pm Well, she's got the dress. Bevel 8:21 pm And it is on a moon in one of the systems near the Denorios belt. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:21 pm *Glances at Ratchet.* [[Ah. You know it.]]

[[...Oz?]] Ratchet 8:21 pm Of course I do. Me 8:23 pm *appears late.* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:23 pm *Slithers a feeler out to wave.* Ratchet 8:24 pm *waves* Me 8:24 pm *looks around; nods vaguely at both of them.* Tarantulas 8:25 pm *hullo hullo, tis a spide* Bevel 8:25 pm Yeah, Oz. I could not find it on the maps of Earth I have so it must be somewhere else. Me 8:26 pm *it takes longer than usual for Prowl to decide where to sit; but finally, he drifts to Ratchet's couch and sits next to him.* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:27 pm [[...He does not recall Oz existing on a moon.]] Bevel 8:29 pm ...Oh! Oh no, the Star Saber is not in Oz. It is just a moon. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:30 pm *...He must be more tired than even he knew. He can't follow what she's saying at all.* Ratchet 8:31 pm *nods to Prowl* Me 8:31 pm *neither can prowl; but to be fair, he missed the first half of the conversation.* *nods to Ratchet.* Hello. Bevel 8:31 pm Hi, Prowl. Me 8:32 pm Hi. *leans his elbows on his knees. he's tired.* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:32 pm *Soundwave nods to the spide and sinks lower into his seat. Hrm. Comfier.* Bevel 8:32 pm Oz is what the documentary is about. The Star Saber is on a moon near Cardassia. Tarantulas 8:33 pm *oh nooooo. where to sit. decides to accompany soundwave on the slouchy couch* Bevel 8:33 pm *frowns worriedly* Are you ok, Prowl? Me 8:33 pm What? ItsyBitsySpyers 8:34 pm *If he wasn't wearing his visor, he'd be blinking.*

[[...They killed their spawn. Hm.]]

*Stretches a feeler lazily across Tarantulas' lap. He was gonna coil, but, nah. Too much work to maintain.* Tarantulas 8:34 pm *lazily pets the feeler, hello there* Bevel 8:35 pm Are you ok? Me 8:36 pm *he heard the question. he didn't understand it.* ......... Fine. *?????* ((i feel like there probably could have been a better name for winged monkeys than "mobats." it just doesn't quite roll off the tongue.)) Bevel 8:37 pm ((it really doesn't Tarantulas 8:37 pm (( bonkeys Me 8:37 pm ((I LIKE BONKEYS BETTER)) Tarantulas 8:37 pm (( ur welc Bevel 8:37 pm ((bonkeys omg Me 8:37 pm ((or winkeys.)) ItsyBitsySpyers 8:37 pm ((i see shang tsung has a sister)) Me 8:38 pm ((why are you smiling. why are you pleased to be promoted. she just dementored a man's soul in front of you. you're now in the line of fire.)) Me 8:39 pm ... If she swings, she can jump out of the bottom and onto that bridge. Me 8:41 pm *they LITERALLY REMOVED his BRAIN?* *oh prowl's just. he's having. so much bad luck at bevel's streams lately.* Bevel 8:42 pm *Bevel would be sorry if she knew* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:42 pm *Concern ping.* Me 8:42 pm *he laces his fingers together so he can't grab at his neck.* Ah. Like I said. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:42 pm [[.........Why build holes into...]] *Never mind. He's barely following it as it is.* Me 8:43 pm She keeps shouting. She's terrible at stealth. Tarantulas 8:43 pm She still thinks it's a dream, why should she care? *shakes helm* Me 8:44 pm *oh great. a high-ranked government official, too.* Bevel 8:46 pm That is too many words. Tarantulas 8:47 pm Oh... dear. Tarantulas 8:48 pm *so sorta like the opposite of the positive reinforcement prison hmm* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:49 pm [[How is he alive.]] [[Organics cannot survive long without fuel or liquids.]] Bevel 8:49 pm Maybe it fed him somehow? Tarantulas 8:50 pm Magic. Shhhh. *patpat* Bevel 8:51 pm He is a cop. Fancy badge. Me 8:52 pm In case he didn't notice, first sign of trouble, she charged at the culprits armed with a stick. "Cut and run" indeed. Bevel 8:53 pm He should give her a sword. Me 8:53 pm ((what's the point of an edgy wizard of oz reboot named tin man if the tin man isn't MADE of tin. we could've had a robot. cmon.)) Bevel 8:54 pm ((It's because the badges they wear are made of tin but i can't disagree because robocop would have been great Me 8:56 pm ((absolutely. wizard of oz robocop.)) ItsyBitsySpyers 9:01 pm *...Is that a thing someone could do to him.* Me 9:04 pm ... Why are they merely tracking this pack of obvious troublemakers, at least two of whom are known criminals, rather than—I don't know—sending out people to stop them. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:04 pm [[Budget cuts?]] Bevel 9:05 pm *giggles* Me 9:06 pm ((see? we could've had a robot tinman)) ((a weird... steampunk fallout robot tinman)) Me 9:09 pm ... "We were programmed to be your parents" means "We were your parents." Why do organics have so much problem with the concept that "something's programmed to be" means the same thing as "something IS"? Bevel 9:09 pm Humans are really caught up on the whole organic thing. Me 9:10 pm Hm. They are. At least the mecha are portrayed positively in this. ... This must have been made before the invasion. Bevel 9:11 pm She took being burned really well. Me 9:11 pm ((i like how he just casually brands one of the most sensitive parts of her body and she just stands there and takes it.)) Tarantulas 9:11 pm *heavy squinting at like 99% of this* Bevel 9:11 pm ((magic branding idek? Me 9:12 pm Oh. She got over her crisis quickly. That's pretty good for an organic. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:12 pm *Soundwave thinks this must be a timeline branch or something. It looks nothing like the Oz he saw both times Dorothy went.* Me 9:14 pm *djddjdjjj do they have to keep talking about the zipper* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:14 pm ((it was so tempting just now to have him go WHO THOUGHT ABOUT THE DJD TWICE in asterisks)) Tarantulas 9:15 pm (( omfg Bevel 9:15 pm ((lol Me 9:15 pm ((IT WAS AN UNFORTUNATE MENTAL ONOMATOPOEIA)) ((it's the sound of a shudder)) Me 9:17 pm *at this point has very little respect for this mockery of a law enforcement agent.* Bevel 9:18 pm *has decided she likes Raw and DG best, they're the nicest* Me 9:19 pm Why does he keep throwing him around?! He's COOPERATING. That's COMPLETELY unnecessary and unjustifiable. *and mnemosurgery interrogation now. god.* Bevel 9:27 pm *frowns sadly at this poor guy* Me 9:29 pm Considering his behavior, I don't think his word "as a tin man" is worth much at this point. Bevel 9:29 pm Maybe he was a nicer person before getting locked up? Me 9:30 pm Which is why I say it's not worth much /at this point./ Maybe he was. He isn't now. Bevel 9:31 pm Maybe he can be again if he is willing to swear to protect DG instead of going after that Zero guy? Me 9:31 pm Hmph. Until he HAS protected her, his word to do so isn't worth much. Ratchet 9:35 pm [[ i hate her outfit ]] Bevel 9:35 pm ((it's so ridiculous Tarantulas 9:37 pm (( i wanna start singing let it go Me 9:38 pm ((omg)) Bevel 9:40 pm That is a really neat power. Me 9:43 pm ... Maybe she should have gotten her somewhere safe BEFORE whispering secrets to her. Bevel 9:48 pm *mimics Swoop* Him dead. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:48 pm *Huff.* *Stretch.* [[He is pleased to see you back... but will be more when you have the sword.]] [[For now, he is...]] *No, no. Don't be truthful.* [[He has things to do.]] Bevel 9:51 pm Aw ok. Tarantulas 9:51 pm *gives sw a mental goodbye before they lose touch* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:52 pm *Bobs his helm and gets to his feet with the tiniest wobble. Takes a moment to rebalance himself, nods to everyone present - Tarantulas gets a mental goodbye as well, and Prowl an affection ping - and shuffles out.* Bevel 9:52 pm *she saw that and now she's worried* Me 9:52 pm *returns the affection ping.* *he COULD switch who he's projecting his avatar through; but he thinks that he prefers to "have things to do," too.* *he disappears. he forgot to say goodbye to anyone.* Bevel 9:54 pm *welp* Tarantulas 9:54 pm *nooo prowllllll* *slumps low on the lonely slouchy couch* Bevel 9:56 pm Are Prowl and Soundwave ok? They left really early. 😔 Me 9:57 pm ((I don't know what's a funnier line, "STEVEN'S PREGNANT?!" or "I don't think so.")) Bevel 9:58 pm ((both? Tarantulas 9:58 pm I - don't know. Bevel 9:58 pm (("bet you're not even pregnant" I forgot about that part omg Bevel 10:00 pm Oh. Tarantulas 10:02 pm *folds his arms over his chestplates as he watches* I get the impression you're not alone in having a mission of sorts lately, though. Me 10:06 pm ((how did they get away with calling it meat beat mania)) Bevel 10:07 pm *looks at him for a long moment...* So secret stuff? Tarantulas 10:07 pm You could say that, yes. Bevel 10:12 pm Ugh. *flops back with a loud CLANG of metal* Well I am gonna do not secret stuff. Like steal my sword back. I hope Soundwave and Prowl are ok soon. Tarantulas 10:13 pm /Steal/ your sword? I thought it was yours. Bevel 10:13 pm Yeah but someone else is saying /he/ found it. Bevel 10:15 pm He can not even use it. Bet it is just stuck it a rock again like it was on Earth. Tarantulas 10:16 pm Who's "he"? Bevel 10:16 pm The bot saying he found it. I do not know his name. *more like she doesn't remember it* Bevel 10:18 pm Fusions sound like combiners. Tarantulas 10:18 pm I suppose it doesn't matter, since he'll be out of your circuits shortly anyhow. Bevel 10:18 pm Exactly. Tarantulas 10:19 pm And hyeh, I can see what you mean - although two-bot combiners are hardly commonplace in my universe at least. Bevel 10:20 pm How many bots in a combiner in your universe? Tarantulas 10:21 pm It's variable, but on average? Five. Bevel 10:22 pm *ticks them off on her fingers* So... head. Torso. Arms and legs? Tarantulas 10:22 pm Roughly, hyeh. Often the head and torso are one. Bevel 10:23 pm ...so what is the fifth bot if the head and torso are one person? *rolls over onto her stomach to look at Tarantulus* Are they the crotch? Tarantulas 10:24 pm Two arms, two legs, one main body. *squints* ...I think /you/ might be the tired one here. Bevel 10:26 pm No wait... *counts again. One, two, three, oh yeah, I counted wrong. Bevel 10:28 pm What is the most bots in a combiner you have ever seen? Tarantulas 10:31 pm That I've ever SEEN? I've only ever seen one with six members - but I've heard whispers of one comprised of twelve mecha before. (( "i have a full vagina" omg Bevel 10:31 pm ((lol Bevel 10:34 pm Whoa, twelve. That would be... two arms, two legs, head, chest, crotch, um, two feet and hands and uhhhhhh Tarantulas 10:35 pm *snickers* The combiner in question didn't possess an anthropomorphic frame. Bevel 10:36 pm ...so a big mess of bodies smashed together? Tarantulas 10:39 pm Nono, well - I suppose one could say that of /any/ combiner, but what I mean to say is that I don't know this one's particular mode, but it wasn't a discombobulated mess like you're implying. *rubbing a little at his face and stretching, slipping even further down and almost off the couch* Bevel 10:46 pm *waits a second to see if he will, when he doesn't she keeps talking* Katamari combiner. Tarantulas 10:47 pm Pfft. I'm sure it's happened somewhere sometime. Bevel 10:48 pm ((I will never not find Alexander Hamilton's extra ass fucking response to being accused of embezzlement hilarious Tarantulas 10:53 pm (( omg i'm getting distracted by actually watching these histories Bevel 10:54 pm ((same lol Bevel 10:56 pm ((and then Tara and Bevel learned Earth history from drunk humans the rest of the night? Tarantulas 10:56 pm (( sounds good lmao Bevel 10:57 pm ((Hamilton's torrid affair is the most important part of his story yep Bevel 10:58 pm ((aw yiss Edith Wilson