#n i need them by the 16th lol
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I have to go to the doctor today bc i probably have an ear infection (left unattended for too long lol) but I also have to go beg the public medical center to sneak my file in n let me get an analysis before my appointment with the psychiatrist bc my sister will not be able to pay it and my parents cannot afford to pay me back the money they owe me lol
#personal#i dont want to go to two places in the same day wtfff#plus ill have to walk to the doctor and back n there are So Many stray dogs#i will have the change to look for a lil nail brush tho! wanna do my best to keep em as clean as possible#but I'll have to take at least two buses each way to n back from the medical center.. and maybe they wont even take my file the same day#and even if they do it could even take weeks to see the doctor. and then weeks to get the test date#n i need them by the 16th lol#n before you guess i procrastinated on it. im still afraid to leave the house#bc twice in the past month they tried to break in#just remembered i have slept like two hours in at least three days lol gn ily silly ppl who read these i had pizza tonight i paid it w#the last of my savings (but left enough for a consult n buses!!) it was super food i was v hungry n i like the shop a lot bc the names silly
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prologue
pair: eddie munson x witch!reader
summary: Ah, memories. You journal your first day of high school, but things quickly take a turn just a few weeks later.
tw: menstruation, pad/tampons, bullying, name calling (pls lmk if thereâs anything I missed)
a/n: just stick with me lol. heâll be in the first part. Also, this is an AU!! For spooky season!! thank you so much for reading!!
*the chat font is the diary entry and it goes back to normal at the end*
August 22nd, 1983 It's been a few months since i've written in this thing. I thought it'd be a good time to start now since I finally made it to high school!
You know what that means? Four more years till I leave this shithole!! Better than five. June was actually waiting by the door when I got home, she really wanted to hear every detail of how it went. I told her about my classes, I have Jonathan in two and Nancy in several. I told her how the school and people were so different from anything I was used to. But, it doesn't take her long to find something wrong with the way I think. She started with her usual warnings and advice, all the things I need to avoid, all the mistakes I shouldn't make. I know she's just trying to protect me, but it feels like she can never have trust in her little sister.
On the other hand, at least Teddy asked if I had fun. He's always been the one who knows how to lighten the mood, especially knowing how his wife is. He asked about my teachers and any clubs that looked cool enough to join. He even asked about Jonathan and Nancy.
Jonathan was definitely not as excited as me. He's quite, but he's always been that way.I know that his mom was excited for his first day of high school, she even convinced him to bring his camera. Right now, I'm trying to convince him to join the newspaper but he just shrugs me off. And Nancy, well, although it's been oneâgirl is practically glow. Within just 8 hours of the school day, she was able to meet a boy. She kept gushing about him and is pretty excited for the rest of the school year here. I'm genuinely happy for her.
Before June could add her two cents, I interrupted her with how I stopped by Aunt Claudia's after school to see how Dustin's day went. He was already sprawled out on the couch, 'exhausted' from fighting with his new math teacher. It had been a bit since I had seen them, I slaved away my summer at my job so stopping by, I felt grateful that they weren't even mad. I'll have to start hanging out with him again.
Anyways, Iâm determined to make the most of freshman year with my friends. Iâm ready to prove that Iâm more than just a product of this stupid town.
Wish me luck!!
September 16th, 1983
I think I lied. I donât know where to startâŚbut a four year wait is too long. I donât know where it all went wrong but it started over the weekend.
Sometimes Iâd like to think that if my mom was still around, this wouldnât have happened. Hell, June is like my mom, why did it happen. Iâm talking about mother natureâs gift. It seemed as though no on thought to inform me that a girls first period would be this chaotic.
Nance and I had a movie night planned. I hadnât really talked to her much, only in class, because her new boy toy or whateverâSteve Harrington, was taking up most of her time. I thought this would be a good time to just catch up and gossip, I was wrong. That Friday was horrible. I ended up throwing up, getting the chills, my body ached to no end. But I was still determined to make movie night happen, especially since June and Teddy were gone for the weekend.
As I was dying on the couch, Nancy finally showed up. But to my disappointment, it was only to cancel. Her and Steve were going out on their first date. I donât know if it was how hot I was feeling or my intestines twisting, but black spots started clouding my vision. I just remember her screaming for Steve and once I knew it, I woke up in the hospital.
What Iâm about to write, Iâll say with confidentialityâŚprobably because Iâm the only one reading this. Whatever.
A period is probably normal for all females. Whatâs not normal is having to go to the hospital and having your best friendâs boyfriend make fun of you because the doctor called you a late bloomer. I mean, she apologized but, if I couldâve just died on that bed, I wouldnât be here.
Even June lectured me when I interrupted her weekend getaway. The whole ride home she kept complaining and saying âhow could I not knowâ and âyou just gave us another unnecessary billâ. Like, sorry my babyâs natural response has ruined something for you.
Fuck. Thatâs not even the worst part. When Monday came back around, everyone was looking at me when I walked in. I know how cliche it sounds after what had just happened but knowing how popular Harrington was and who his friends were, he had already told the whole school by now. During gym, Carol and a few other girls threw pads and tampons at me. I got called âBloody Maryâ and âLeak Freakâ in the hallways, at lunch, and anytime anyone had the chance. I tried to stay strong, I even hoped Nancy would say something to me during class or at least when she saw me but she just looked at me with sympathetic eyes. Itâs just hard to believe that a few weeks ago, everything was fine. We were making fun of our teacher, gossiping with Barb, and even went shopping but I guess things change. Now when I look at her Iâm just consumed with rage.
Jonathan has been supportive, though. The evening I got out of the hospital, he had actually brought over some of my favorite snacks and listened to me cry all night. Even when the mocking was bad, heâs stuck by my side. Heâs told some kids to fuck off, walks me to class, and Iâm grateful, donât get me wrong but knowing that I have to wake up and go through it again doesnât really ease my pain.
I feel like my chances of making friends and actually joining some clubs are ruined. When I try talking to some new, they give me dirty looks. When I go to ask about different clubs, they turn me away. Iâve lost hope. Thought this was suppose to be a fresh start but I guess not.
And just to add more salt to the wound, I havenât been able to sleep. Every time I close my eyes and drift to away, Iâm met with such an unsettling environment. The atmosphere is thick, groggy, red. Itâs coated in fog, but a man Iâve never seen before always walks through it. He says his name is Henry, he starts talking about my worries and pain. Itâs always the sameâhe says heâs âthere to help meâ, heâs there to âtake away the pain because he knows what itâs likeâ. I truly donât know what has caused my subconscious to create things like this but I guess Iâm just tired of feeling like shit.
I donât even know why I bother keeping a journal around. Sometimes I feel like I wonât even be here in the future to reminisce on the shitty days like this. Why would I even? I guess itâs just easier to write these things down than having to say them out loud. I thought Iâd be able to make my sister, aunt, cousin, and friends proud, but Iâm starting to think Iâm just not cut out for this.
Closing the diary, the blonde places it back in the shoebox you hid it in. Pushing it back under your bed, standing from the place he sat. A satisfied smirk on his face.
Heâd been following your turmoil closely, knowing that this was just the turning point. Your struggles were feeding into his plans. This entry was straw that broke the camels backâyour vulnerabilities, your fears, and your desperations. It was almost too easy.
âYour suffering is almost poetic,â Henry said to himself, walking out of your room, your house, determined to take action now. He planned to finally confront you, to force you to acknowledge the full extent of what your destiny could be with his helpâwith what he had to offer.
#eddie munson#stranger things#eddie stranger things#witch!reader#witch!au#eddie munson fic#eddie munson x female reader#eddie munson fanfic#eddie munson x reader#eddie x reader#eddie munson x you
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My next slasher x y/n fic is in the process of being created! This fic will be a head canon just like the others.
The slasher featured will be:
OUR BIG MURDER HUSBAND TOMMY
And the Y/N will be femme (anyone that has a puss n titties, let's be real idc what you were assigned at birth). The art will reflect a black female stand-in character like my Michael myers fic. It's going to be EIGHTEEN+ ONLY SO NO FUCKING KIDS, GTFOH THANKS.
I hope yall are excited!
I fuckin am.
~
Y/N gon be like this, I guarantee it bbgirl.
Update Nov 16th: I have a massive summary rough draft for the first few chapters already produced, I just need to start pumping them out into balanced chapters formally and then pop some art out for each chapter. It's in the works!. I'm also a bit nervous because this post has a lot of notes and now I feel pressure lol. The story is exciting and great so far though so I'm still very excited just deciding on a look for Tommy as I do for all my head canons.
ANOTHER UPDATE DEC 1:
I have completed the writing for chapters 1 to 4. I'm... I'm... I want to make this one a slower burn than usual, I'm really normal about the story and headcanon so far like please it's making me act like this as I write:
As if I really think I did something but I'm also like kicking my feet and giggling TEE HEE AND SUCH.
I can't wait to get the art started so I can push these out for yall. I hope you all catch some devious feels with this one because I'm really cooking here. I hope you like a thick and shy headcanon to make you bark bark.
FINAL UPDATE:
IT HAS BEGUN! HERE IS A LINK TO THE MASTERLIST
#slasher community#slasher thirst#slashers#thomas hewitt x reader#thomas hewitt#leatherface x reader#tcm 2006#fanfic#slasher fic#thomas hewitt x femme#slasher x y/n#thomas hewitt x y/n#leatherface x y/n#tommy hewitt
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1778 (My Soldier Boy)
Rowaelin Month, Day 28: Wartime Sweethearts AU
A/N: this might just be the most American thing i've ever written lmaooooo đđ so here's the context: the fic is set during the American Revolutionary War, which took place from 1776-1781. Rowan is a soldier in the Continental Army (the American side) and Aelin is the only daughter of a Loyalist (sympathetic to the British) family. and they're star-crossed lovers, yay!! posting this partially as a lil birthday treat to myself but mostly for you, hope you enjoy :))
Word count: 2.8k
Warnings: archaic language (i'm a nerd lol), mentions of war, old outdated traditions, mentions of battle, brief mild angst, flirting
enjoy!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
16th July 1778
Heart of my heart,
I write this in secret, barely able to make out my letters by the faint light of this single candle. I apologize for the sloppiness of my script; my governess would have a fit if she were to see this chicken scratch. Of course, I would then retort that she ought to have taught me to read and write in near darkness, as that is the more useful skill these days.Â
A few words, my loveâwe are leaving in three days.Yes, leaving! Mother has only said that it was what she and Father thought best, given the currentâŚunrest. I am perfectly capable of reading the unspoken words. We are leaving because they fear what our neighbors might do while we sleep. We are leaving because the English are so hated here. We are leaving because nobody has seen or heard from my brother in months. Nobody save me, that is. I know where Aedion went, and I know what he is doing.Â
If you love me, Rowan, please send word that my brother is safe, that he is well clothed and has some form of roof over his head. Please. It will calm my nightly worries at least a small bit.Â
I do not know where we will go, only that we cannot make a scene of our leaving. We must pretend that we are only going into town like we typically do, except that our cart will be full of our belongings, rather than grain and butter to trade. I suspect we shall attempt to head east, towards the port at Baltimore, and from there we shall attempt to book passage on a ship. Father seems convinced that returning to England is the best course of action.Â
I do not want to leave.Â
They do not know that, nor do they care. It breaks my heart to admit it, but they do not. They expect me to keep quiet and obey. I have heard them discussing the possibilities of our lives once we return to Motherâs family estate in Englandâmarriage. My marriage. To some titled landownerâs spoilt son, who gives not a whit what I want or who I am as long as I can give birth. I refuse to subject myself to such a fate.Â
Rowan, my love, I write this both as news and as a warning. I will not silently accompany my parents in their hasty retreat. I cannot abandon my brother in the middle of a war, nor can I leave you, the other half of my soul.Â
I will be waiting for you, my love. I swear it.Â
To whatever end,
AAG
~
Heart in his throat, Captain Rowan Whitethorn marched in step with his regiment up the muddy road leading into Baltimore. The bustling port city was largely unmarred by the war that continued to rage on, continuing to serve as major sea access for traders and soldiers alike. As he and the men that called him their leader entered the city proper, Rowan breathed a short, soft sigh of relief. They had two weeks of leave, unless they were called back into battle, and he fully intended to use those two weeks to the fullest.Â
âEnjoy your leave, men.â He saluted. âWe shall regroup here in two weeks.â The blue-jacketed men broke ranks and ambled into town, most of them probably dispersing to the nearest pleasure house for a good strong drink and as many hours with a woman as their few remaining coins could buy. Rowan didnât begrudge them their pleasure.Â
After years of war, they all needed whatever solace they could find. As did he.Â
Fingers instinctively wrapping around the small, precious bundle of letters in his jacket pocket, Rowan strolled towards the calmer part of town, the residential section not so crowded with soldiers on leave, traders, merchants, shouting vendors, and all the rest of the noise, chaos, and diverse cast of characters that populated a thriving shipping town like Baltimore. He glanced at the street markers as he walked, searching for the one with a blue stripe painted around it.Â
There.Â
Pulse hammering louder than gunfire, he turned down that street and walked past tidy clapboard houses interspersed with the occasional grocer, butcher, baker, and seamstress. He was certain every single one of the handful of people he passed could hear his thundering heartbeat, but none of them had said anything to the young man whose ragged blue jacket marked him an officer in the Continental Army who was walking up their quiet street like it was perfectly normal for him to do. One motherly lady had simply offered him a smile and a âthank you, son,â which had struck him right to the heart.Â
He emerged into a busier street, full of shops and taverns and public houses, the businesses bustling but not crowded with soldiers and sailors like the cheaper taverns down by the wharf were. Eyes scanning the signs, Rowan walked up the side of the street. The building he was looking for appeared suddenly in front of him. A brightly painted kingsflame flower adorned the pubâs wooden sign, its carefully wrought petals the work of a singular artist. An artist Rowan knew as well as his own heartbeat.Â
With his heart in his throat, Rowan walked into the pub. Immediately, a peal of soft, faintly raspy laughter caught his ear, and his attention snapped to the bar at the back of the softly-lit, cozy space. Behind the well-worn oak bartop, her golden hair tied back with a blue rag that he recognized as his own old shirt, stood the woman who owned every last shred of his heart.Â
Aelin Galathynius glanced over towards the door, and the whole sky lived in her vivid eyes.Â
Tin clattered against the bar.Â
Surprised grunts arose from a table full of stocky, gray-haired farmers.Â
And with a rush of air and a strangled gasp of his name, Aelin was in his arms, tears glittering in her eyes, warm and solid and real and clinging to him as if her life depended on it.Â
~
He was here.Â
Rowan was here, whole and healthy and standing on his own two legs in a much-patched blue jacket and dirt-stained trousers and battered boots, and his eyes were on her alone.Â
Aelin flew across the pub floor and all but leapt into her soldier boyâs arms, clinging desperately to him as if he would vanish unless she held him tight. She buried her face in his shoulder and drew in a deep lungful of his scent, the faint trace of mountain pines clinging to him even beneath the layers of sweat and grime. Hot, salty tears of joy leaked into his shirt through a tear in his jacketâs shoulder.Â
She felt his deep, familiar chuckle rumble beneath her ear. âWhy are you crying, my love?âÂ
âIâm crying,â she sniffled, raising her head to meet his adoring gaze, âbecause you smell so bloody awful that my eyes are watering.âÂ
He tipped his head back and laughed, loud and unrestrained. âGod above, I missed you.âÂ
âI missed you more,â she returned, tracing her thumbs along the sharp juts of his cheekbones. âEvery day felt like the longest one yet.âÂ
âIâm here now,â he murmured in the soft voice he only used for her.Â
With tears pooled in her eyes, Aelin leant an inch forward and kissed him, her soldier boy, with all the pent-up fervor of the last several months. Sheâd been so terrified when her parents announced that they were leaving the Colonies, afraid that she would be uprooted from the life sheâd come to love and forced to marry some stuffy lord and shut away in a manor house forever. The very idea that she would be forced to leave Rowan, her love, and Aedion, her brother, without knowing whether either of them would make it back to Baltimore unharmed was enough to disrupt her sleep. She had hardly dared to hope that her desperate escape plan would work until she stood on the pier and watched her parentsâ ship depart without her on it.Â
Every long day of pouring pints of beer for rowdy sailors, handsy soldiers, and disruptive drunken no-goods was worth it to have her soldier boy back in her arms.Â
âWhereâah, Rowan!â Breathless, Aelin poked him in the ribs, pretending to disapprove of the promising way he kissed her throat. âWeâre in public.âÂ
âLetâs fix that, shall we?â He set her down onto her feet, caught her hand, and grinned. âI believe I need a bath, my love. Could you help me with that?âÂ
âYou are incorrigible,â she laughed. She pecked a quick kiss on his lips and led him out of the pub and down the streets, turning into a quiet neighborhood and leading him up the front steps of a tidy little brick cottage with a blue front door. âPlease be kind about the mess.âÂ
âIâll show you a mess,â he whispered into her ear, far too tempting for his own good.Â
She flushed, her cheeks staining bright pink. âRowan!â
âAelin,â he mimicked. They were safely inside the house, so he looped his arms around her waist and pulled her flush against him. âIâve been dreaming of you for months, love.âÂ
âAnd youâre going to bathe before you act out any of those dreams, my love.â Giggling, she ducked out of his embrace and led him down the short hall to a washroom. âThe tub is full, but it might be cold.âÂ
âI donât care if the water is cold.â He shrugged off his jacket and stepped out of his boots. âItâs a hell of a better bath than we get in the army.âÂ
She sighed fondly. âIâm still going to boil some water.â He made to protest, and she placed her fingers over his mouth. âAh-ah, soldier boy. Let me spoil you. Besides, the hot water is half for your filthy clothes.âÂ
âFine,â he acquiesced. He shed the rest of his dirty, worn clothing and climbed into the tepid bathwater, groaning quietly as he sank into a proper bath for the first time in too long. âJoin me, love.âÂ
âSoon.â She kissed his forehead and dropped a washrag and a bar of soap into the tub. âWhen you stink a little less.âÂ
His playful growl followed her all the way out to the front room.Â
~
Following the bathâwhere she had indeed joined her soldier boy and taken his mind off the weight of war for a few momentsâand a hearty dinner, Aelin exchanged her regular blouse and skirt for a soft cotton nightdress, braided her hair, and settled into bed with a lantern lit on the side table and a novel in her hands. Rowan was in the washroom; the faint splashing of water indicated that he was scrubbing out his uniform like he insisted he wanted to. So she opened her novel to the page where she had last left off and lost herself in the tender romance unfolding amidst the pages. She was so absorbed in the novel that she didnât notice the mattress shifting as Rowan climbed into the bed and settled down beside her.Â
His soft, low chuckle drew her out of the novel-world. âGood story, Ae?âÂ
âWonderful,â she murmured. Reaching the end of the chapter, she placed the bookmark, closed the book, laid it aside, blew out the lantern, and tucked herself into his side, her head against his chest.Â
âI missed you,â he whispered after a peacefully quiet interval, stroking one hand idly up and down her back.Â
âAnd I you.â In the faint moonlight, her eyes met his, months of pent-up yearning and uncertainty glossing their turquoise depths. âI am sorry I didnât write more.âÂ
He soothed her worry with a gentle kiss. âI would likely have found you before your letters found me. âTis the life of a soldier.âÂ
She hummed in agreement. âOn that noteâŚwhen did you last see Aedion?â Her older brother, whom she loved dearly but whose rashness she did not ignore, had vanished from the Galathynius home early last spring, leaving no indication of where he was going or why. Aelin alone had an idea of what he had gone to do, because he had confided his wishes to her. He had gone off to be a soldier in the Continental Army, but his unit were scouts, which meant that he could be anywhere between Philadelphia and Yorktown.Â
Rowan exhaled a long, controlled breath. âThe last time our paths crossed was in September, at the camp outside Newport. He mentioned going south, but no details.âÂ
âSouth.â Aelin rolled the idea over in her mind, forcing herself not to consider the harsher implications. âWas heâŚhow was he?âÂ
âHealthy, as far as I could tell, and tired, but so are all of us soldiers.â Rowan ran his hands along Aelinâs tense shoulders, encouraging her to relax. âHe said to give you his love and that heâll do unspeakably horrible things to me if I hurt you.âÂ
Aelin laughed. âNow that sounds like Aedy. Too protective for his own good, he is.â Idly, her touch trailed along the slope of Rowanâs shoulders, tracing the new scar that slashed from his right shoulder down towards his pectoral muscle. âTell him that I will return the unspeakably horrible favor if either one of you does anything stupid.âÂ
âIndeed I shall.â Laughing softly, Rowan pulled Aelin flush against his chest, her heartbeat atop his, and kissed her. She sighed into the kiss, threading her fingers into his overgrown hair.Â
âI donât want you to go back,â she murmured after they had separated.Â
He swallowed thickly. âWe both know I must.âÂ
âI know.â Her voice was a fragile thread. âIâm keeping you all to myself for the next two weeks, though. Itâs only fair.âÂ
âI wouldnât have it any other way.â He pressed a kiss to her forehead. âI love you, my wildfire.âÂ
She smiled tenderly at him. âI love you too, my soldier boy.âÂ
~
Mid-November, 1778
Aelin,Â
I apologize both for the shortness of this note and the fact that it took me so bloody long to write it. There is something I must tell you, and I can only hope that you hear it from Rowan rather than me and my paltry excuse for a letter.Â
We are marching to Savannah. Intelligence has it that the Redcoats intend to advance upon the city, and we cannot let the stronghold go without a fight.Â
I cannot promise that I will be able to write for any amount of time, and as much as I hate to do this, I leave you all my affection. I will stay as safe as possible, that I can promise. The moment I am able, I swear on my blood that I will come to you, and if possible, that I will bring Rowan.Â
Stay strong for us, dear sister.Â
Yours,Â
Aedion
The short note had reached her in late January of 1779, after three and a half months of ever-increasing tension and worry spurred by the grim reports coming up from the South. Before he left in mid-November, the same time Aedionâs letter was dated, Rowan had revealed that his unit was headed to Savannah to reinforce the troops already there. He had been confident that, with the extra reinforcements, the Army would be able to stave off the Britishâif not all on their own, then at least long enough for the shipment of French troops to arrive.Â
Just before the New Year, the newspapers reported Savannahâs defeat.Â
Since then, all Aelin had received was silence. No letters, no notes, nothing listed in the papers, no weary soldiers showing up on her doorstep. The fact that Rowanâs and Aedionâs names remained out of the papers was but a small measure of comfort; all too often, fallen soldiersâ names never made it onto the listings.Â
The cloth tying back her hair was black now, the only outward sign of suffering she would allow herself. The people who came into the pub noticed her quiet demeanor, the way her usual vivacious cheer was dampened, and passed quiet condolences to her across the worn oak bartopâa squeeze of the hand, a mourning motherâs shared tears, a word of comfort, a âthank-youâ from someone who rarely spoke those words. It lifted her spirits a bit, but not much.Â
Every night, she trudged home to her quiet little house, cradled a small watercolor portrait of Rowanâdone a year ago, it was the only portrait sheâd ever convinced him to sit forâstared down into his painted face, and refused to let her captive tears fall. Though her heart and soul ached for her soldier boy, though her sleep was disturbed by nightmarish imaginings of what could have happened or could be happening to him, she refused to let her tears fall until she knew his fate for certain.Â
If nothing else, she owed him--and the child just beginning to stir inside her womb--that fragile hope.
~~~
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#my writing#rowaelin month#rowaelinmonth#rowaelin month 2023#rowaelin#aelin galathynius#rowan whitethorn#rowan x aelin#rowaelin fanfic#rowaelin fanfiction#throne of glass#throne of glass fanfic#throne of glass au#revolutionary war au#american revolution#happy birthday to me
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Constant Repeat | Part 3
Summary:  Having worked at Focus Creeps for a year, Ella knows that as a production assistant and part of the crew, thereâs one important rule: donât interact with the talent unless itâs needed. But once she meets Arctic Monkeys, and the recording of the music videos for their upcoming fourth studio album starts, the band seem to become her exception. Not only because they treat her more like a friend than just someone else theyâre working with but when Alex continuously makes her blush with his flirting, so enthralled by her that he forgets heâs got a girlfriend, Ella finds herself growing closer to him. As videos are filmed, wrapped and edited, the friendship lines become blurry. Situations unfold, secrets are told and others are kept under lock and key, but how long can Alex and Ella endure being stuck in each otherâs minds on constant repeat.
Word Count: 15.3k
Story Warnings: Throughout this series there will be suggestive talk, jealousy, cheating, alcohol and drug use, angst, smut.
A/N: Jumping on my spot because this chapter just fully starts it all and I cannot wait to hear what you think about it!!! Â I don't even know what to say anymore, I'm just to eager for you all to read this one lol. Enjoy!!! xx
Masterlist
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 |
âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§
It had been two months since their goodbye. June had been filled with work, mostly for commercials with a fourth of July theme. There were so many brands theyâd worked with, that Ella had lost count of how many meetings she had attended in the last three weeks of the month.
True to his word, a week after their last talk, she got an email from their management asking for her name and address to be added to the PR list. Suck it and see had been out for a week already and she had bought it digitally, but her stomach fluttered as she typed in her information.
She just couldnât wait for when the next video was going to be recorded.
July seemed to go the slowest it couldâve ever gone. And by the time August came, she still had no news about the bandâs music video. The end of the first week of August was approaching, she was half tempted to go up to either Ben or Aaron and ask about it, but she was afraid of how that would make her look like.
Little did Ella know, she didnât have to wait any longer, since the following Monday she got a list that read Arctic Monkeys - Black Treacle, Evil Twin, Suck it and See with dates on the top of the page that said August 14th - 16th 2011.
She hid her slight freakout very deep inside herself and left it for when she finished getting the details on the list ready. Four days later, when she handed the list back to her bosses, she allowed herself to get showered in nerves.
Ella knew by then that they were going to see them at a festival they were playing at in San Francisco, and she was beyond excited for it but her stomach was turning just from thinking she would be seeing Alex again after two months. Sixty days since they last spoke and she realized far too late she had no way to even contact him during the wait for the next music video.
Well, not that she wouldâve been brave enough to ask for his phone number and maybe he wouldâve laughed at her if she had asked for his email, but she was wondering what it wouldâve been like if somehow they could have a way to keep chatting despite the distance.
And as if someone had been stealing the sand from the hourglass, before she even had time to properly prepare herself for the encounter, it was August 14th and the production crew was parking their bus at the festival grounds. It was around three in the afternoon, they had made a stop for lunch that made them arrive an hour later than anticipated but they werenât late enough to have missed the bandâs set.
After a while of walking and trying to make their ways through the artists backstage, the group of fifteen people sporting âOutside Landsâ wristbands managed to make it to the spot the brits were standing at.
And Ella almost didnât recognize him.
Alex had a fresh new haircut, a quiff that just screamed greaser, and she fully had to force her jaw back up after seeing him. He had his leather jacket on, despite it not being cold, gold framed dark sunglasses that fit him perfectly, jeans and a black shirt on. A cigarette behind his ear that had an effect on her she couldnât quite describe, but she was sure her legs went a little weak when she saw it there.
Holy fuck.
It was around a drinks tent that they were standing by, all of them with plastic cups in their hands and laughing around. She smiled as they got closer, missing being around their banter.
Nick was the first to notice them approaching, turning around with a giant smile and waving at them. The rest of them turned to where the bassist was looking at and when they saw the crew they matched Nickâs grin and gesture.
The directors were the first to approach them and shake hands. Ella followed closely behind, way too excited to greet them again to hide anymore. She hugged them tight, saying a small but high pitched âHiâ to each of them, Matt swaying her from side to side while embracing her.
Alex grinned brightly at her, feeling warmth from her presence. She didnât waste any time in pulling him in for a hug, her hold so tight on him that he started feeling dizzy from the way it was making him feel inside.
âHi Ellie.â His arms were around her waist, giving her a squeeze before she let go.
She was grinning from ear to ear, âHi Al.â Ella knew her greeting had been effusive but she couldnât care less what any of the crew members had to say, not when Alex was looking at her like that.
They were both slowly letting go off each other when Aaron spoke up, âThank you so much for having us at the show today.â
Ella took a step back, standing beside Ben. She made it seem like she was adjusting the camera strap on her shoulder, but she was hiding her blushed cheeks behind her hair.
Matt waved it off like it was no big deal, âItâs great having you all here. Hope you didnât get lost trying to make it here.â
Ben chuckled, âIt was a whole quest but we made it.â
Matt turned around then, getting some cups and pouring what seemed to be tequila in four of them and turned around with one on each hand, âWell, youâre all about three shots behind so better catch up.â
Aaron grabbed one of the shots Matt was offering, âWell, letâs get to it then!â The director turned to all the crew, nodding with his head towards the drink table so they could all get tequila shots.
Matt was quick to pour everyone their shots and when they all had them in hand they took them at the same time, he hadnât been kidding about catching them up because he walked down the line of people filling their cups again so they could go back for a second one.
Alex took the opportunity to check Ella out more intently. She looked amazing under the sun, her tan long legs were out, she was wearing a pair of jean shorts held up by a black double buckle belt, a black bodysuit that showed every curve on her body perfectly and on her feet were a pair of black gator skin cowboy boots with silver detailing. She looked very western, and he loved it. From his spot he could see some tattoos littering her body like the red ink writing she had on her left thigh that was making him have thoughts he couldnât say out loud.
She wiped the drops of tequila that were falling from her chin to her neck, âFuck.â she mumbled, âDo we really gotta do a third one?â She was already feeling the warmth from the alcohol inside her buzzing all the way to the tips of her fingers.
Matt smirked, âYes Ellie!â He poured her a third shot, filling her cup a bit more than the last time.
She narrowed her eyes at him and Alex chuckled at her expression. Matt proceeded to pour more tequila around and when the last person was served, he shouted, âCheers everyone!â
The burn wasnât as bad for her anymore, but she felt like if she didn't have a chaser any time soon, she would be throwing her lunch up. Alex saw her struggling after she gulped it down, turning to the table and handing her a lime wedge.
âUgh, thanks.â She said in a pained voice, sticking the fruit in her mouth quickly after.
The sourness relaxed her and once she felt like it was enough, Ella took it off her mouth and threw it and the cup to the trash. âMatthew, I hate you.â
Everyone laughed, some of her coworkers had reached out for lime as well and she didnât feel as bad anymore. She was now feeling more buzzed by the second. Oh, Iâm already regretting this, she said in her head.
Alex then turned to their crew and said, âWeâre going on in about an hour or so, you all can go around the festival if youâd like. Those passes can take you about anywhere.â He pointed to a guyâs AAA wristband, hoping they would all take their ways and he could have some time to hang out with Ella.
With that, many of them turned to pour some drinks and make their way to the closest stage, the directors saying they were gonna check whoever was performing as well. About five minutes went by when they were all left alone with the PA by the drinks tent.
Ella smiled at them, grabbing the strap from her shoulder and taking her film camera in her hands, she turned it on before saying, âLet me take a picture of you all!â They all nodded and started taking position for the shot.
Alex ran his hand through his hair, as he smiled towards the camera. Matt and Nick were raising their drinks in the air and Jamie stood beside them with a cigarette between his lips. She captured her view, smiling at them as she lowered the device. âIâm going to be taking pictures all day so you better be good muses and pose for me.â
Alex and Matt laughed at the way she was starting to slur her words, getting very obviously tipsy already. The singer decided to tease her, âYou know⌠youâre only missing your cowboy hat.â
She snorted, âI always have it with me.â and she lifted her left arm, showing off her little cowboy hat tattoo on the inside of her bicep.
He giggled in response, âBrilliant.â and he took a sip of his drink, âHow many tattoos do you have?â He ended up asking, curious to know what she would decide to print on her skin permanently.
She took some time to think and count, touching her rib by the end and lifting a total of six fingers, âAbout six at the moment:â she showed her cowboy hat again, âthis oneâs for Tennessee,â she then turned to her side showing him her right arm, âLover here,â she pointed to her right shoulder where the word could be read, she then proceeded to show her tricep on the same arm âThe angel wings for LA,â she turned back to her front, and lifted her shorts a bit over her left thigh, âDivine feminine,â was the one on red ink Alex had first noticed, she then put her left arm up to show the outside of her forearm where three little butterflies adorned her skin âmy butterflies,â and she finished touching her left ribs over her bodysuit âAnd Selcouth here.â
Jamie frowned as he let go of the smoke he was holding in his lungs, âSorry, Selâ what?â
Her face softly blushed and her lips formed a shy smile, âSelcouth, uhm, it means unfamiliar or strange yet marvelous.â
Jamie nodded while Nick tilted his cup towards her, âThatâs nice.â
âThank you Nick.â She placed her hand over her chest, an exaggerated expression of her gratitude for the little compliment. âAnyway, how have you been? Howâs the tour going?â
Alex sighed, moving next to her and throwing his arm around her shoulders, âWell, other than the constant moving and therefore constant jetlag, itâs been great.â
Matt, who had been doing something on the table behind them, turned around then with a smirk on his face, âBut nothing some margaritas cannot cure, right lads?â He had two glasses on his hands, raising them up as he walked towards Ella. âHere you go mâlady,â and he waited until she hesitantly grabbed the glass from him to move on.
âOh no Matt, I donât thinkââ She tried saying quickly, holding the glass as far away from her as possible for him to take back but was cut off by the man before she could finish her sentence.
The drummer handed the other one to Alex and made his way back to the table to hand Jamie and Nick theirs. Holding his own drink, he turned around to tut at her, âWeâre not thinking right now.â He took a sip and let out an exaggerated sigh of pleasure, âWeâre having fun and getting pissed!â
She turned to her left where Alex was standing, still holding onto her. âIââ She started again but Alex looked at her expectantly, softly encouraging her to take a sip after he had taken one of his.
âItâs really good Ellie, try it.â Alex assured her, taking a second sip.
She rolled her eyes, âOkay fine, but you better not complain if you need to end up taking care of drunk Ella today.â pointing at all of them, she took a swig of the beverage.
They all cheered, throwing their arms up in the air. Alexâs arm left her shoulders for a moment and she just laughed at their enthusiasm. When his hold came back around her she approved of Mattâs creation, âThatâs really good Helders, youâre gonna have to teach me how to make it.â
âWhenever you want, Ella.â Matt replied, winking at her.
She let out a short laugh that died when Alex held her a tiny bit tighter to his side. The alcohol in her system was making her feel brave, so she let her head rest on his shoulder. She felt him tense for a quick second and she was about to curse herself mentally, when she felt him rest his head on top of hers, rubbing her shoulder with his thumb, over her lover tattoo.
She bit her lip to stop a massive smile from appearing on her face, not wanting to be too obvious in front of the rest of the band who were too preoccupied chatting amongst themselves to notice.
Ella let her eyes close for a second, getting lost in the feeling of his fingers on her skin and thatâs when Matt glanced at them, making eye contact with Alex who hid his smile behind his glass. The drummer didnât say anything, he just nodded and smiled at his friend, happy to see him smiling after weeks of sadness.
A few weeks ago, the singer had broken up with his girlfriend. It was a mutual accord, both of them too busy to even see each other as often as they could manage which made them come to take the decision. Decision that very obviously hurt them both. They had been together for over four years and he had been thinking of proposing one day, but shit happens and all he could do was move forward.
Tour had been distracting him, and he had been writing a lot to cope but there was something about the way he had felt when he saw the American girl again, and now he didnât want to let go of the feelingâtherefore not letting go of her.
Ella lifted her head up, making him do the same. Alex looked down at her and she smiled at him before leaning into his ear and whispering, âI really like this new look.â she pulled back a bit and checked him out very clearly, making him blush.
He smirked with pink cheeks, âYou do?â
She nodded eagerly, âVery much.â The green on her eyes, dusted with brown flakes that looked like gold under the sun, was hypnotizing him behind his sunglasses.
He let his arm fall from her shoulders to her waist, leaning into her ear and whispering, âThanks Ella.â in a tone that almost made her shiver.
The next fifty minutes they spent all together, drinking more margaritasâwhich Matt had taught her now how to makeâ, taking pictures and just talking about whatever came to their minds.
As the time for them to be on stage got closer, the people from her crew came back, equally or more tipsy than she was. Alex had counted her current glass to be her third and when she finished it, he grabbed it from her and threw it away, leaving her side to get her a cup of water.
When he came back he grabbed her arm softly to catch her attention, âI need you to start drinking some water now, Ellie.â his voice mellow and coated with wariness over her state.
She rolled her eyes and laughed at his worried features, âAlex itâs fine, Iâm not drunk yet.â
He nodded, grabbing her hand to have her fingers wrap around the cup, âExactly, yet. Weâre gonna keep drinking after our set, I just donât want you to be sick while weâre on.â
Ella thought he looked so cute with his furrowed brows, taking care of her, âHmm, youâre cute,â she said softly, giving him a toothy grin. âOkay, Iâll have some water.â she finally took the cup and brought it to her lips, relief washing over him.
He was blushing, really liking how she was being with himâall soft yet forward. âGreat.â he replied in a mumble, holding her close to him once again like they had been all afternoon.
Many had seen them, but no one said a word. Not to him, because he was genuinely smiling after Alexa. Not to her, because no one could question her and be nosy about it in front of the band.
Her cup of water was halfway done when someone from his sound crew made his way over to their group. âLetâs go lads, we need you over by the stage. Youâre on in ten.â
Alex nodded, downing the last of his drink. His mates did the same as he turned to her, âYouâre gonna keep having water yeah?â his eyebrows raised as he expected her to comply.
An amused sigh was what he got, âYes, okay, Iâll stick to water now.â She rolled her eyes as he nodded, pleased with her answer.
âAlright, see you up there.â He said before kissing her temple and making his way to the side of the stage, leaving her a statue under San Franciscoâs burning sun.
She was frozen and flushed, her temple felt hot like she had been branded. Branded with the shape of his lips and she was sure she had been. That little kiss would be pathetically engraved in her mind forever now.
Matt made her come out of her trance, asking her, âWould you like another one before we go?â
She knew she shouldâve kept her promise of sticking to water, but she truly felt like she was sobering back up to a barely tipsy state so she nodded, âPlease and thank you, Matt.â She downed the last of the water she had and threw away her cup before going beside the drummer.
When she stood beside him he was quick to ask her, âWould you like another one so you have a refill for the show and donât have to come back here to make yourself one?â
She giggled, âYou wanna see me black out, donât you?â
Matt laughed, shaking his head, âThat would be hilarious to witness but no, Iâm genuinely asking.â
âOh Matt, youâre so kind, look at you!â She nudged his shoulder with her left hand, sarcasm so obvious in her tone. He just laughed as he poured some tequila in her glass.
A minute later her and Matt were making their ways to the side of the stage. Alex was lighting the end of a cigarette, Nick already smoking his and Jamie was telling them something. Ella thought it was the perfect opportunity to get another picture of them, so she set her glasses down on a table a few steps away from her and grabbed her film camera with her right hand.
Her feet took her to where the band was standing, and when she got close enough, she rested her hand on top of Jamieâs shoulder. âSorry to interrupt but, can I take a picture of you guys?â she asked shyly, a little bit embarrassed over having cut their conversation short.
They all reassure her though, giving her warm smiles and nods. âSure Ellie, where do you want us?â Jamie asked while turning around, facing her.
She pulled the camera up to her eyes, âJust stand right there and give me a pose.â
Nick kept his stance, smiling at the camera. Alex brought the cigarette from between his lips, and with it between his fingers, he put his hand out as if trying to reach for the camera. Jamie turned to him then, hugging him from behind like they were Rose and Jack from Titanic.
Ella laughed as she looked through the viewfinder, pressing the shutter once she got her lenses to focus. âBeautiful!â She exclaimed as she put the camera back down, turning it off and letting it rest on her stomach while the strap was around her neck.
âWhat the fuck? Why are you taking pictures of everyone but me?â Mattâs voice got louder as he came closer to them.
She snorted and brought her hand to her chest, âNo, Iâm sorry Matt, Iâll take another one with you! Câmon!â she waved for him to go stand beside his bandmates but the stubborn man just stood there shaking his head.
âNo, I donât want to be in the picture anymore.â
She pouted at him, âCâmon, before you have to go on stage.â she elongated her words, whining for him to move.
The drummer just stood there shaking his head as he adjusted his in-ears, the reason why he wasnât around when they took the picture. âNo.â
She rolled her eyes at his obstination, âHelders, get in the picture.â
He started playing with the drumsticks he had in his hands, shaking his head.
âIâm not going to drag you over here.â She uttered in a tired tone.
He shrugged, acting uninterested. âOkay.â
Ella threw her head back, and sighed, âMatt, please come here.â
He once again shook his head, âThank you, Iâm good.â
She deflated as the negative response reached her ears again, âOh for fucks sake,â she mumbled to herself before pouting once again, âPlease?â
The band was watching the whole situation, entertained. Matt made eye contact with Alex who was standing a couple of steps behind her, the singer just shook his head with an amused smile and Matt lost his serious stance when he chuckled.
A grin broke on her face, âWill you let me take your picture now?â
The drummer kept laughing lightly and nodded, âYeah but this is your second and last chance.â
She rolled her eyes, bringing the camera up to her eyes. âAlright Helders, give me your best pose.â watching him through the viewfinder and trying to get the shot to focus.
He made it seem like he was going to strike a big pose, she was excited to see what he would do but then he just flipped her off with his drumsticks sticking out of his hands.
The men behind her bursted out laughing, the shutter went off once and she let the camera back down, hanging from her neck. âHow nice of you, Matthew.â
He shrugged, smirking at her. âWell I really enjoyed hearing you beg, Ella.â
She rolled her eyes and it was her turn to flip him off. Matt just laughed at her, waving the lads over to start walking with him.
Just before they disappeared behind a fence, she told them âGood luck!â to which they thanked and smiled at her.
Ella went back to retrieve her margaritas, hoping no one had taken them, and to her relief they were still sitting where she had left them. She was quick to take a sip of one of the glasses, joining the group her crew made and walking with them to the side of the stage.
The festival crowd was loud, making the anticipation for their set build up. Her stomach was in knots seeing that many people and she couldnât believe how the band didnât seem nervous at all. They were laughing amongst themselves, adjusting their in-ears and smoking cigarettes as if they werenât about to perform to a giant mass of people.
Ella had been staring at Alex so it was no surprise that he turned around and saw her. She kept her glance and gave him a bright grin, him matching it. He took a look at her hands and saw the cocktails she was holding onto. Alex raised his eyebrow in question, and she giggled before putting her cup up and mouthing âcheersâ to him to then take a long sip of the beverage.
He shook his head, smirking at her. He found everything she did so endearing, he was getting confused on what exactly was her effect on him. He couldnât help but compare it to how he felt when Alexa would look at him or talk about him to her friends. But that was love, he was in love with Alexa and she was his girlfriend. Surely what he felt for Ella wasnât love, he only was attracted to her; a crush, perhaps. Yet, it felt nice and he wanted to keep the feeling for as long as he could.
His thoughts were interrupted when they were instructed to get on stage. Walking up to hundreds of people who were screaming for their band and their music was something that he would never grow tired of. Not even in a narcissistic way, but a bloody-hell-I-canât-believe-this-is-my-job way.
He blew the audience a kiss and waved at them as he went over to retrieve his guitar from its stand, then making way to the microphone to greet them. âHow you doing, everybody?â he strummed his guitar, pressing on a pedal so it sounded distorted.
Her and the crew were cheering along with the crowd, only getting louder when Matt started hitting the drums. With âLibrary Pictures' they started their set, Ella knew the lyrics by heart so she was having the time of her life singing, dancing and drinking while she watched them play.
Their set lasted an hour long, and it went by so fast between the crowd going louder for their most recognized songs and the band feeding off their energy.
Soon enough, they were getting ready to play their last song, Alex said a few words before starting it. âThank you very much everybody, thanks for coming out. Youâve been a terrific audience.â He pointed out to the people as he talked, âWeâve gotta go now, which is sad⌠but, erm, you enjoy the rest of your day and weâll see you some other time.â And with that he started playing the chords to âWhen The Sun Goes Downâ, singing the starting verses.
Before he repeated the last line of the songâs intro, he took a pause and the crowd yelled, cheering on the upcoming beat change. âMake some noise everybody, let me hear you.â said Alex to the crowd, encouraging their screams.
Matt took the moment to turn to the side of the stage, seeing Ella in the center of the group, with her cup almost empty and holding a burning cigarette between her fingers. She was cheering just as loud, making the drummer laugh before he looked back to the front, at the sea of people standing before the stage.
âI said, heâs a scumbag, don't you know.â sang Alex, making the beat drop and the band joining with their own instruments.
He turned around while playing his guitar, going over to Matt to continue strumming the chords when his friend nodded over to the side, where Ella was standing. He turned to look at her, and a big smile made its way to his face.
She had a cigarette perched between her lips and a half empty cup on her right hand, bumping her head to the beat while she imitated Mattâs beat of the drums with her hands. Alex laughed at how invested she was in the song, she was enjoying herself and that sight made him warm inside.
He turned back to the mic, singing the rest of the lyrics with the grin still stuck on his face. He looked over once again to the side of the stage, seeing her now imitating his fingers on the guitar. She smiled and pointed at him while singing the chorus with him.
Alex was so distracted by her actions that he almost sang the chorus once again, he stopped right away, mumbling an apology that was barely audible from the crowdâs cheers.
As the song came to an end, everyone but Alex stopped playing their instruments. Jamie threw his pick to the crowd and set his guitar down to leave; Matt stood up and waved at the crowd, leaving after Jamie. Nick went over his bass stand to set it down and crouched to get the drumstick Matt had thrown in the middle of stage, he tossed it to the crowd and put his arms up in celebration of their cheering before leaving.
Alex sang the last verse, elongating the last chord, to then turn around and leave his guitar next to Jamieâs. He grabbed his beer bottle and blew a kiss to the people before following the trail of his friends.
When he got to the side of the stage, he smirked and pointed at her, âYou were the best dancer of the crowd.â
Ella blushed but jumped up and down exclaiming, âThat was amazing!â Which made the rest of her crew come up to the band to congratulate them. The brits thanked everyone as they were all making their ways back down to the festival grounds.
Alex stood by her side, taking sip after sip of his beer. And as they took the last step of the stairs to the grass, she leaned into him and with slurred words said, âYou know⌠this haircut really goes well with the whole rockstar thing youâve got going on. The leather jacket, sunglasses everywhere and all that, pairs really well.â
He laughed at her drunken monologue, âHow many margaritas have you had?â
She thought about it for a few seconds, frowning as she tapped her index finger on her lips, âThree, I think?â She thought back to how many times sheâd left the side of the stage to make herself a drink and going back through her mind, she realized it had only been once while they were playing âBrick by Brickâ.
He hummed and nodded at her response, âWell enjoy your last few sips of this one because itâs your last one.â
Ella pouted but nodded, knowing it would be for the better, considering they had to shoot right after the festival. âOkay, I guess.â She downed what was left of the drink, âDone!â she said with a smile, putting the now empty cup upside down in front of her, a single drop falling to the ground.
Alex chuckled at her, âYouâre something else.â She was looking at him, squinting her eyes from the sun, so he grabbed his sunglasses and placed them on the bridge of her nose.
She adjusted them and softly nudged his hips with hers, âThanks, the sun was about to make me cry.â
âYouâre very welcome, they look good on you.â He complimented, making her blush.
She shook her head and put some of her hair behind her ear, âEver the flatterer, Turner.â
They decided to go over the drinks tent to get Ella some water so she could sober up. She practically downed the first cup in less than thirty seconds, realizing how thirsty she had been for something non alcoholic or sweet. With a new cup of water for her, and a new beer bottle for Alex, they went up to their large group again.
Everyone decided to stay and watch The Black Keys, meaning they would leave at around seven thirty and they could reach their filming location to set everything up before it went fully dark out.
During the American bandâs set, she had started to shiver. The sun was coming down and the wind was picking up, her no sleeve bodysuit and shorts werenât helping her in the slightest and she had left her jacket on the bus.
When a particularly cold draft of air hit her back, the words automatically left her lips, âShit, itâs so cold.â She was shivering despite Alex being beside her.
He of course took the opportunity to be cheeky, so he put his arm around her and hugged her to his side, âIs that better?â
âAs much as Iâd love to say yes, no.â she honestly replied when the wind still made her shake even with his hold tight on her.
He nodded, taking his arm off her. She thought for a second that maybe he had taken it the wrong way. But he placed his beer bottle on the ground, and took his jacket off, picking his bottle back up when he had the leather coat on his left hand.
âHere you go.â He offered his jacket to her, a shy smile on his face. He knew all about giving girls his jacket and how that looks to other people but he couldnât give a shit about othersâ opinions when he wanted her to be warm and to see how sheâd look wearing something of hisâother than his eyewear, that is.
She immediately looked to her sides at the crew scrambled around the main stage side area where they were standing. They were with the crowd but far away enough that no one would bother them, the people were too engrossed in the band playing on stage. The group sheâd come with were all distracted as well and werenât looking at them but she still didnât want to draw more attention to them and she had a feeling that once they went to the hotel to sleep, she would be drowned in questions from her coworkers about her and Alexâs proximity.
She waved her hand in front of her as if to say no, âAlex, itâs fine I can bear it for a little longer until we leave.â
He knew why she was saying no, as she kept glancing over to her bosses and coworkers, so he reassured her, âEveryone is distracted Ella, no oneâs going to see.â He understood her distress since he didnât want her to get in trouble either or for people to talk about things that donât concern them, but it would be fine.
Blood rushed to her cheeks when he said that, knowing he knew exactly what her thoughts were on the situation, so she sighed and gave in. âYouâre annoying.â she stated as she grabbed the coat from him.
With a smirk on his face, he was quick to bite back, âAnd youâre very stubborn.â
Ella felt the comfort engulf her as she put the jacket on, drowning in his scent. It was slightly big on her but she looked stunning nonetheless, the sleeves covering up her hands made him want to squeeze her cheeks and kiss her. He felt the sudden urge to kiss her.
But they just smiled at each other, enjoying each otherâs company far too much for this to be only a friend-through-work situation. His sunglasses were resting on top of her head now, so he stared at her hazel green eyes, getting lost in her gaze. She was staring right back at him with the hints of a smile tugging at the corner of her lips. They were engrossed in each other's features while âHowlinâ for Youâ played in the background, it was the claps and cheers that brought them back to where they were.
âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§âŚâ§
About half an hour after The Black Keys set had finished, they had left the festival and arrived at the location they were filming. The production crew wasted no time and scrambled off their small bus to start setting everything up, taking advantage of the last minutes of light the sunset offered.
After what felt like another half an hour later, the empty field was now filled with light panels surrounding a black vintage car that was going to be the main attraction for this section of the music video.
Ella went into full work mode right as she stepped out of the bus. She was no longer wearing Alexâs jacket, she changed it for hers as soon as she got in the bus to avoid any questioning, his sunglasses now hanging on the neck of her bodysuit.
She was running around checking on everyone, making calls to the actor who was on his way for the next section of the music video that they were recording tonight as well. The model, Cali, was getting her makeup done after having been put in a skin tight black latex dress with matching heeled boots.
There was so much to check up around that she was definitely sober now. She stood by the directors once the model was ready and she pointed her where to go.
As the directors were busy and everyone was focused on setting audio and cameras up properly, she went back to the bus to retrieve Alexâs jacket.
He was standing on the left side of the production setup, far away in the shadows smoking a cigarette. The rest of the band stood looking as well, only closer to the directorsâ chairs. She made sure to make enough noise for him to realize she was there but not enough to disrupt the filming process.
When Ella reached his side, she lightly touched his arm and he turned to her smiling. âThank you.â she mouthed to him and he just nodded, scared of getting scolded for making any noise that could somehow ruin the shoot.
Knowing she had to leave and be present at her job, she pointed backwards so he got that she was going back to Ben and Aaronâs side. He wouldâve loved to have her beside him while they filmed but she couldnât and she wouldnât either, she was professional and he had seen that before. So he nodded once again and as he went to take the ashy stick out of his lips, he waved her goodbye.
The model was posing in front of the cameras, getting filmed by two of them when Ella made it back to her bossesâ side. Only ten minutes later they announced they had enough footage of that and they could move on to the next frame which included Alex and Matt.
She had to call them over and the stylists made sure to have them looking good and ready before they stepped into the car. Alex took over the driverâs seat, Matt in the backseat of the car along with Cali.
A speaker they had brought along blasted the song they were filming for, âBlack Treacleâ, and she had to bite her tongue not to sing along.
The directors wasted no time in recording the new shot. Alex mimicked driving while he sang the lines he had composed, acting very confident and collected as he stared up front like there weren't two big cameras up on his face.
In great comparison, Matt sat with Cali on his lap, acting like she was getting off with him; his hands wandering up and down her sides, one of them grazing her ass.
Ben called cut about five minutes later, making Cali take place beside Matt once again. Ella was instructed by Aaron to retrieve something from the production design table, a Lyleâs black treacle can.
The main camera on Alexâs face still rolling as the two behind him listened intently to the instructions. Alex took the time to mess around in front of the camera, lifting his hand up and showing the middle finger to it, to then raise his index finger and make it a peace sign. He put his hand down to, seconds later, bring the peace sign back up, this time slightly puckering his lips up to the lenses.
She came back with the item in hand and Aaron thanked her before swiftly placing it on top of the carâs dashboard, perfectly subtle in the shot. Ben finished with his instructions and went back to Aaronâs side, calling the other camera men to start rolling again. And after another fifteen minutes of Alexâs fake driving and Mattâs fake makeout, the scene was wrapped up.
The two musicians made it out of the car; Cali followed close behind, but walked over to the makeup team where she could sit. Alex spotted Jamie and Nick standing beside Ella, who had her usual blue clipboard held tight to her side.
Jamie smirked at his drummer friend and was quick to tease, âLook at you Helders, getting all the action.â
Ella grinned at the comment before adding, âYeah, isnât that meant for the lead singers?â her gaze playful on Alex now, seeing his smirk as reaction to her comment.
âOh he would love that, just with someone else Iâm sure.â Matt trailed off, looking at Alex and then back to Ella.
Alexâs grin faltered at his friendâs statement, his face going slightly pale at the very obvious glance he had given the American girl, one that Ella hadnât even noticed since she was preoccupied at how he had reacted at the mention of that someone else, feeling a pitiful sinking of her stomach.
âMatt, I swear Iâll kick you if you talk too much.â Alex quickly threatened through his teeth, staring sternly at his friend missing her brief frown.
Ella was quick to clear her throat, bringing an act up and stupidly trying to pry information on who that someone else might be, to settle the fact that everything that had happened today had been nothing to get excited about. Or maybe he was just flirty and she felt dumb for feeling special about the way he acted with her.
She internally laughed at herself for being pathetic and getting her hopes up for getting his attention for a day, she had to remind herself of what was reality. He was a rockstar and she was just a PA. He was constantly touring the world and she stayed in California. He could have anyone he wanted and she was just another girl.
Cursing herself for feeling so down over the comment she forced out a chuckle, âOh, whoâs the girl that has caught your eye? Is she a model as well?â
Alex whipped his head around to look at her, his features coated in confusion. He automatically saw through her, the way she was fiddling with her pen and the lack of authenticity behind her grin, her eyes showed the slightest bit of disappointment. He softly grinned at the thought of it meaning that she found him attractive and liked his company too, but his heart sank as he saw how Mattâs comment had rubbed off the wrong way on her.
He turned back to Matt and scolded him, âHelders, just shut up.â
His need to keep Matt quiet about the matter made her evening bitter, the thought of seeing herself as a fool only cutting deeper inside her. Jamie and Nick laughed, Matt pressed his lips together in amusement, all whilst Ella had to fake another laugh but failed at making it sound real.
Aaron called her up this time, her feet quickly taking her to her boss without even saying bye to the band since she just wanted to get away.
The crew had to put up a bonfire now, so a group of six people started gathering what they would need. The car was moved to the side by a crew member, getting the space free to make the brick circle in which they set the tinder and kindling wood, and then formed a teepee of firewood over it. Ella threw three matches and started the fire, the flames growing taller as the seconds went by, warming everyone around the site.
In fear of the fire burning out too quickly because of the wind, they started rolling the new scene soon after the flames came alive. The whole band was instructed to come in front of the burning wood, and they were filmed standing around it for only five minutes as they grew too hot, too soon.
With a few minutes to cool down, Matt was called in front of it again, to pose for the camera just to have those visually pleasing shots. And lastly it was Alexâs turn. He looked angelic, contrasted to the hell-like heat that burned; his leather clad back facing the camera, all Ella could see was the way the flames outlined his body frame in a way she just had to capture. She placed her clipboard between her legs and was quick to pull her camera to her eyes after turning it on. She took the picture and after advancing the film, quickly turned the device back off, feeling the weight on her neck again but satisfied by immortalizing such a moment.
He was hypnotic to her. The way he moved, the way he talked, the way he looked. Everything he did was smooth and magnetic, and she couldnât peel her eyes off of him.
She was too enthralled by the singer that she didnât notice how Matt had caught her taking the picture. He smiled at the sight and at how her shoulders slumped after she had pressed the shutter as if relieved to have caught the perfect frame.
He wouldnât say anything to her about it but he wanted to make her know heâd seen it happen in a subtle way. So he approached her slowly and once beside her he asked, âEnjoy film photography much?â
Ella turned to see him, wide eyed and flushed but cleared her throat knowing there was nothing she could do if Matt had seen her actions. âA lot, yes. I started back in freshman year of university. Learned quite fast since I took a lot of pictures in frat parties,â She chuckled at the memory, âYou become quite popular and invited to each and every one of them when you are recognized as the photographer.â
Matt hummed in response, âI got into photography in college at 16, around the same time I got into the drums. It was mainly because we just had access to cameras and we also had a dark room to develop our own pictures.â
She was slightly surprised but her smile quickly made an appearance on her face. She hadnât genuinely smiled in a good fifteen minutes. âThatâs sick! Iâve always wanted to have a proper dark room to develop. What camera do you use?â
âA Canon Canonet and I love it but I think I might get a Leica next. Itâs just hard to let go of the first camera you fall in love with, isnât it?â
Ella giggled as she nodded, âIt really is.â
âCan I give yours a look?â Matt asked, genuinely curious about her gear and she nodded with enthusiasm.
She handed him her Minolta X-370, telling him how she had started in digital when she was in highschool before she saved up enough to get a second hand Olympus OM-10 in university and that was when she had fallen in love with analog photography, that had only led her into a massive spiral of film photography which was now one of her true passions along with videography.
Ella let him take a few shots, telling him how many shots she remembered to have left on the roll and she loved being able to bond with him over photography.
Alex was a few steps away from them when he saw them standing next to each other, sharing a high five. Her arm was on his shoulder while he held her camera in his hands and something inside Alex stung. His jaw tightened but seeing her smiling big after what had happened before made him loosen up again, stubbornly grateful for his friend for bringing back the sight.
The singer cleared his throat and they both brought their eyes up to him. âHey mate. Was just telling Ellie how Iâve been into film photography since we were 16 and she let me give her camera a go. Canât say Iâve ever used a Minolta before.â Matt explained, seeing the obvious unsettled feeling his friend was showing.
âNow that I know you take film, promise me youâre gonna send me your scans.â Ella pointed at him seriously, âThe pictures you get while on tour must be stunning.â
Matt chuckled and gave her back her camera, âThey are. Iâll send you some later.â
A tiny shriek came from her as she hugged Matt briefly, âOkay, Iâm going to check on Ben and Aaron now, see you in a bit.â Her steps were fast, making her miss the sigh Alex left out after her abrupt goodbye.
A few minutes later, she had received a call from the actor telling her that he was at the place, so she met up with him and brought him over to get ready. It didnât take long for the man to be in his costume which consisted of some jeans and an orange flannel.
Taking advantage of the energy they all still had, they didnât waste more time and drove to a gas station that had allowed them to film, a mile away from them.
Once there, everyone took out their equipment and settled for the filming to resume. Matt had to act like he beat the man up in exchange for his clothes, since the drummer was playing a fugitive who still wore that typical inmate orange jumpsuit.
In the middle of the filming, Matt had started complaining about being hungry and not subtly commenting how good the food from the place crossing the street smelt like so Ella was sent over to the tiny restaurant and came back in record time with a big burrito in her hands.
Matt thanked her and went straight for it, the camera even catching him eating while he was supposed to be in character, driving Alex and Cali. She was sure the editing team would still use the shots though, since they looked so natural and weirdly accurate for the plot.
When the drummer came back out of the car, munching on his food, Ella took the chance of teasing him. âYou know, you look like a proper southern dad. A farmer dad.â
Jamie and Nick doubled over in laughter, âOh my god, he does!â exclaimed the bassist in laughs.
âMate never move to the south of the states and have kids, it isnât a good look.â Alex added, struggling to keep the laughs inside.
âYouâre all jealous because Iâm the main character now.â stated Matt, which earned him multiple head shakes and sneers.
Ella snorted, âTrust me Matt, no oneâs jealous of that look.â And with that, laughter rained up on the group.
Their amusement was interrupted by Ben wrapping the evening up, signaling everyone on the Focus Creeps crew to pack up and fit everything back in the bus.
They drove up to the hotel the band was staying at, Aaron having managed to get rooms at the same place for a night.
At the lobby, the crew separated into groups and made a line to retrieve their keycards. Everyone with a backpack on their sides and a tired look on their faces. The British men were far too tired to wait until they were done, deciding to just say goodbye right there and go to their rooms.
Alex went up to the directors, shaking their hands and saying goodnight. The rest of his mates doing the same, and despite wanting nothing more than to hug Ella goodnight, he had to settle for waving her goodbye just like he did everyone else.
She gave him a shy smile and a tiny goodnight that definitely didnât reach his ears. And with that he went to the elevators, eventually passing out in his bed with her on his mind.
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They had a good night of sleep, despite having to wake up early to have breakfast and check out as soon as possible. They should be arriving at Los Angeles before one in the afternoon, and with a six hour drive ahead of them, they needed to fight the clock.
Her brain had been swarmed by thoughts and she cursed her tendency to overthink for keeping her up longer than she had wanted to.
Ella knew people had noticed how close she was with Alex throughout the day and she knew questions were coming but the palms of her hands still clammed up when multiple people approached her in the lobby wanting to know details on the situation.
She had denied everything, swearing none of them felt any type of way towards the otherâeven though she knew sheâd let her hopes rise up and it had ended up poorly for her. She denied having kissed him when they asked her, even if sheâd been thinking about how that would feel all day.
She told them all how he was flirty with everyone, it was his personality so they shouldnât think anything else about it. She was glad half of them shut up after that, the other half smirking at her, calling her lucky or mocking her words as if to say she was full of shit.
Ella got ready and had breakfast quite early, pinching an Advil from one of her coworkers for the slight headache sheâd woken up with this morning. Today was packed: theyâd be driving back to Los Angeles and basically recording the whole day, for as long as the sun decided to stay up; so she really needed this headache to go away.
They ended up loading the bus and heading off back to LA before it hit eight, managing to arrive at their location a little bit over one in the afternoon.
It was good that the crew was quick and effective, setting everything up in less than twenty minutes, enough time to have Matt ready and Breana, the new model, getting her hair and makeup done as well.
They were propped up inside an abandoned police station in the middle of the desert. It had a couple of jail cells, a tiny medical wing and some offices for the staff that used to work there.
Right when the cameras were ready to go, Ben had Alex walk through hallways to be recorded like that. He was wearing his typical jeans and leather jacket, with a simple shirt but always loyal to his sunglasses, even indoors. Matt was in one of the cells wearing an inmate jumpsuit, being filmed by two people and guided by Aaron.
She was running everywhere, being needed for small things every five minutes, even having to leave the premises with one of her coworkers to retrieve the rental car they had gotten that was the same make and model from the one they had used in San Francisco the night before.
Ella smiled at Alex when they made eye contact as she made her way to Ben. âRental is here, we have Breana ready in the wedding dress and Aaron is still over there with Matt, I donât really know how much heâs got left.â she informed her boss, to have him make the decision on what to do next.
Ben nodded and thought for a couple of seconds under the gaze of multiple people, âLetâs go ahead and do Breanaâs shots outside while Aaron finishes up with Matt.â
âAlright, Iâm gonna let him know.â just as fast as she said that, she left.
Alex knew that after Mattâs comment on set, she had retrieved back into that shell of hers. He wanted to know why, not trusting himself to come up with his own answers. The one thing he knew is that heâd try to make her feel better today, in any way he could. Heâd just have to trust heâd have his chances.
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His luck had run out, or thatâs what he thought had happened as he had no chance of talking to her at any moment throughout the day.
When she was free to talk, he was being filmed. When he was given the light to stand back behind the cameras, she was outside filming with Ben and Breana. When he could see her coming inside the building, she was way too busy for him to try and approach her. When they all went outside to join the other part of the crew, he had to go in the car to film with Matt and Breana.
Ella was on full work mode, it was hard to believe she was fighting a resilient headache that hadnât died down even after the pills sheâd taken. She was constantly asking Breana if she was alright, knowing she had to be somehow uncomfortable in a big wedding dress, in the middle of the desert under the blazing sun. A total of four water bottles is what the model had gone through, and Ella was slightly concerned as she was on her fifth bottle herself and she wasnât the one running for the camera.
Ella trusted her though. Breana, or Breâhow she had told Ella she could call herâ, was so nice to her. She had been making her laugh in between takes and she was grateful for the lovely distraction being the model and not Alex.
Maybe, she thought, I can get used to not being distracted by Alex and keeping it professional if I keep busy enough.
Now, after hours since Aaron and Ben had decided to wrap up on the desert scenes and they had all gone to a new hotel close to where they were filming the next day to shower, the whole group had followed someoneâs suggestion on a bar nearby and they were surrounded by very American decorationâtoo neon for her tired eyesâand the constant chatter and clinking of glasses against each other.
The thuds of balls hitting the pool tableâs wooden borders were surprisingly loud over the old juicebox machine that was playing some country song she could remember listening to on the radio when driving around the countryside at six years old in her dadâs truck.
Places like this brought her back home, and she found herself rubbing her fingers over her little cowboy hat on her arm while she took sip after sip of her rum and coke, absentmindedly nodding along at her coworker's story from her sisterâs bachelorette party.
âThank God her best friend didnât end up calling those strippers or my grandma wouldâve fainted and made her kick her out before the evening was over.â
Taking that as a cue, Ella straightened up and excused herself to go over to the bar for a refill. The place was fairly busy for a Sunday night, so instead of going back to her friends while she waited for the bartender to take her order, she leaned on the side of the barâs varnished wood countertop.
âExcuse me.â She heard someone say softly to the couple talking to her right, they nodded towards the person and stepped aside to give him some space.
Of course she didnât need to turn to see who it was, Alex Turner himself was standing beside her, looking as handsome as ever and smirking down at her.
âFancy seeing you here.â he greeted, his smirk only growing when she rolled her eyes and blushed.
âHey Alex,â her voice was soft and if he wasnât right beside her, he couldâve missed her words. âYou enjoying yourself?â
She was adorable, going all shy, and Alex felt slightly bad for coming over with the intention of being explicitly flirty with her but he also wanted to shoot his shot and see her reaction. âItâs been good so far. I actually came here to tell you something.â he left his words lingering in the air and she frowned at the mysteriousness of it all.
He was still smirking though, so it was confusing her a little, âWhatâs up?â
âI think there must be something wrong with my eyes,â he started and she got a tiny bit closer to see right into his eyes so she could see if heâd gotten anything in them, but he caught her off guard with what he said next, âI canât seem to take them off of you.â
Ella could feel her cheeks burning up, her jaw had fallen slightly and she almost let out a scoff in disbelief. She ended up laughing as she shook her head, âHow much have you had to drink?â
He shrugged and completely evaded her question, âI mean it.â Truth is he had only had two pints of beer, he wasnât even drunk.
She was sure it was impossible for her cheeks to go redder but they had and she felt them hotter than ever, âOh Alex, stop it.â she stared at the ground and shook her head.
The bartender caught her attention then and she got another glass, filled almost to the rim. She tipped the man good for the generosity, she really needed the liquid courage if Alex was saying shit like that to her.
But before she could keep the conversation, he leaned into her ear and with his arm snaking around her waist and said âSee you around Ella.â and with a gentle squeeze of her side, he left her there, blushing and breathless.
Fucking hell, so much for keeping myself distracted from him.
Thirty minutes later, she felt like she was in those movies where you get stuck in the same day, over and over, because Alex was by her side once more while she waited for the bartender to make his way around to her.
She turned to her side to face him and before she even had the chance to say something he gave her another flirty line, âSerious question,â she nodded at his fake appearance of curiosity, already feeling her cheeks turning crimson by whatever he was going to say, âHow does it feel like to be the most gorgeous girl in the room?â
Ella was expecting a pick up line but not that pick up line and she definitely went bright red. She covered her face so he couldnât see her like that but he had been staring at her face, he hadnât missed the way sheâd blushed even if heâd only seen it for a second before sheâd use her hands to hide.
âAlexxxxâ she whined, not knowing what else to say, because what could she say after that? She never had a clue of what she was supposed to respond to pick up lines and the fact that it was Alex saying them made it even harder to think. Not just a response, anything. Anything at all.
He hummed in satisfaction, smirking at her,âI like it when you say my name like that.â
Something inside her flipped and she felt a tingling feeling travel all throughout her body, specially feeling those words between her legs. She wouldnât even dare to open her mouth, scared of the noise or whatever words that would come out so she stuck to shaking her head.
A few seconds later, she pulled her head back up from between her hands, âDo you always tell girls the same lines?â
He shook his head confidently, âNo, I promise this is the first time Iâve ever told a girl that last one.â
Ella narrowed her eyes at him, âI donât believe you.â Heâs full of shit, thereâs no way he hasnât used that one before, she thought.
He grinned softly at her, as if to reassure her, âItâs a promise and I donât break those Ellie.â
In the same second her name had left his lips, the thud of a glass being put on the table was heard. She slapped some ten bills on the side for the man who served her to take and she turned around to the singer to lift her glass up and down her double rum on the rocks.
He chuckled at her, as she wiped a drop of alcohol from her chin and licked the finger sheâd done it with. âOkay, easy there Ellie.â
She was feeling a little bit braver by now, and still not believing him she dared him, âDonât you have any cheesier lines left, Turner?â
He smirked, âYeah, this one,â he cleared his throat and started, âExcuse me, I donât mean to intrude, but you owe me a drinkâŚâ he took a pause, his facial expression dramatic as he put up a character to deliver the line correctly. Ella was expectantly waiting for the next bit, slightly growing impatient even if it had only been a pause of five seconds, âBecause when I saw you, I dropped mine.â
She burst out laughing, not believing him for using that cringey line. âHas that one ever worked?â she asked between giggles.
He smiled amused at her laughter, âTo be honest, I donât think so.â
They both doubled over in laughter, the alcohol making the situation funnier than it was but she was laughing with him and thatâs all that mattered, and as she stayed the rest of the night with him, talking and sharing drinks, it made him feel even more pleased. It was a feeling that stuck with him even after the rest of the band and some of the members of her crew joined them for the rest of the night.
After the short walk back to the hotel from the bar that sheâd done beside Diana and Tyler, she went up to her hotel room. The night was quiet, hallways echoed at the slightest step you took and it felt like you could startle everyone awake on your floor when you closed the door to your room, but her brain was in a frenzy.
As she dumped micellar water on a cotton pad to take off her makeup, continuing with every step of her nighttime routine, it seemed like her mind wouldnât shut up about the bar and Alex. Alex at the bar. Alex at the bar with her. Everything he had said at the bar. All the fleeting touches she could still feel on her skin.
Ella felt like screaming at herself, to shut it all up. She couldnât get her hopes up for some cheesy pick up lines he couldâve googled five minutes before approaching her, for some hugs that maybe were usual for him to give around, for the behavior that maybe was his normal way to be.
He could be flirty with everyone.
She didnât necessarily know him that well to tell if this was special treatment or if he was that way with every lady he got close with. And on top of it all, he had been drinking, and under the influence she was well aware people tended to turn more flirtatious than usual. Her older sister was living proof of that, and she shivered at the flash of memories that came to the front of her mind with that train of thought.
She pointed at herself in the mirror while brushing her teeth, her eyes stern and seemingly threatening. You either get a grip or you get someone to slap you into consciousness, she threatened herself and with a nod, she finished getting ready for bed. She only hoped that once she got in bed, sleep would get her as soon as her head touched the pillow.
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It hadnât been like that.
Her brain did her dirty once again, and she kept herself awake for way too long overthinking. Just like she always did. Her days were a cycle of constant overthinking, thatâs why she made sure to keep herself busy, or to keep a packet of cigarettes and her lighter always on her.
This new day was going to be just as exhausting as the one before it, only even harder due to the hangover she was sporting. Sheâd taken two ibuprofens first thing in the morning, chugged a bottle of water and put on some cheap black sunglasses sheâd bought at a gas station on the last spring break sheâd celebrated in Florida with her university friends that surprisingly had survived the wear of the years. Her film camera was hanging around her neck once again, making sure sheâd have it with her since regretting leaving it in her backpack instead of taking it to the bar with her the night before.
They all drove to a house a couple of miles away from where they had stayed the night. Still out in the desert, the house was very rustic and had a giant backyard. There was a pool and outside of the fences that surrounded the property was an old stable, surrounded by old cars and a junkyard in which the owner seemed to like to play mechanic.
Bre was getting ready and her outfits for the shoot had Ellaâs jaw dropping every time. She couldnât deny how gorgeous Breana was, and to be honest she might even have a slight crush on the model but she wouldnât do anything about it.
The day was going by smoothly. Aaron and Ben stayed filming with Tyler inside the house, most of the time the crew was kept to a minimum to keep Bre comfortable when she had to film half naked or topless.
Breana was a good sport though, very professional and keeping a straight face and in character even when Ella thought sheâd feel vulnerable, because god knows that if she even had to be in her underwear in front of one single camera sheâd be blushing and shaking non stop. Ella was in awe of how easy it was for Bre to strip down in front of Mattâwho sheâd just met the day beforeâand the rest of the people standing behind the scenes, and basically act like she was having sex with the drummer.
So Ella was running around as per usual but most of the time it was to have Bre be at her most comfortable state, getting her water when she needed it, handing her a robe if she asked for it, asking if she wanted anything in particular or if she was comfortable with the shot theyâd just done.
When everyone came outside and it was time for Matt and Breana to be filmed messing around in the pool, Alex finally saw her behavior towards the model and he couldnât help but silently laugh. Nick and Jamie confused as to what was the laughter for when Breana was topless diving into the pool now, they thought maybe it was funny because of Mattâs reactions to the model and that was the only conclusion they could get at while watching everything unfold in front of them.
When Ella made her way by Alexâs side and sighed, he chuckled under his breath. She turned to him and frowned, slightly confused at his reaction to her coming his way. âWhat?â sheâd asked rather defensively but still lighthearted.
âI havenât seen someone act like this since I was in primary school and someone had a crush on a girl from their class.â he smirked playfully at her.
She rolled her eyes, blushing at being caught for tending a lot to Breana. âOh shut up, you canât blame me. Look at her, sheâs stunning.â
He didnât take her eyes off of her though as he replied rather lazily, âHmm, I guess she is.â
She turned to him slightly offended, âYou guess?â
He rolled his eyes playfully now, âOkay yes, she is stunning.â He stated one more time but was still watching the American girl in front of him intently.
Ella hummed with a doubtful expression on her face while she frowned, âI thought so⌠Was starting to think you had some real trouble with your eyes then.â
He took the opportunity to bring yesterday back up then, âI tried telling you yesterday, you wouldnât believe me.â
Something in her went hot and flipped at the same time, âYouâre a tease, you know that Turner?â she nudged him with her hip, making him slightly sway to the side.
âIâve been told that one too many times.â Alex smirked at her, nudging her back with his hip.
Ella had to force her jaw to stay in place, unholy thoughts making way through her mind and she knew she would go bright red if she kept looking at him while thinking of all the ways she could make him prove that.
She looked back to her front, seeing Breana come back out of the water and hugging herself. She cleared her throat and pointed to her right side, âIâm gonna get her a towel.â she muttered and a shit eating grin was plastered on his face from seeing her reaction to such a simple sentence.
As she left, with the slight sway of her hips and the sight of the high rise black shorts she had on and how they contrasted against her tan legs, he also had some unholy thoughts about how pretty sheâd look in between his sheets.
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Before the trip had happened, and the list was handed to her at the start of the month, Ella had suggested bringing a biker gang to record with the Monkeys. Because whatâs more American than a biker gang.
Ben and Aaron had jumped on the idea straight away, and she made sure to find the friendliest group of bikers out there that were down to appear in the video posing as a dangerous outlaw gang.
An hour later since she had left Alexâs side, she had made her way back to where the bandâminus Mattâwas standing. âOkay so I have a surpriseâŚâ she said in a high pitch tone and with her hands clutching her clipboard tightly to her chest as she rose up and down on her tippy toes as if she wanted to jump on her place but was holding back from doing it.
Nick automatically matched her enthusiasm, âWhat is it?â he asked effusively and Jamie raised an eyebrow and laughed at his mateâs reaction.
âSo I hired a biker gang for the video,â she paused and her smile got even brighter when she saw the three men respond positively to her surprise, âand youâre all joining them on the ride while we film.â
Jamie nodded excitedly, âThatâs brilliant, thank you Ella.â
She almost screeched, âIâm so glad you liked the idea, for a second before coming here I got scared you all hated bikes or something.â
Alex shook his head, âWe actually have ours at home.â
She gasped, âOh really?!? Oh my godâ Okay, okay, letâs go!â She turned around quickly, hoping they would follow her as she made her way to the big group of sixteen people on bikes that were waiting by the side of the big empty road.
The guys chuckled at her eagerness, and went behind her matching her quick pace. Once they reached the bikers, she made sure to introduce them all and thank them for coming and filming with the band.
Sheâs adorable, thought Alex.
Ben had gotten four bikes for the band, which were standing a little further behind the large group of bikers. Ella made sure to guide them to the vehicles, Matt already sitting on his with Breana sat behind him. They seemed quite cozy for the cameraâs not to be rolling anymore.
As the guys chose their bikes, she turned on her camera. Alex was sitting on the bike heâd chosen, putting the helmet on and the leather gloves that were there as well.
Matt opened his mouth, seeing the perfect opportunity laid out in front of him so he asked in a tone that said he was up to no good, âElla! Have you ever ridden a motorbike?â
She shook her head, âNo, but they seem fun though.â
The biggest, most satisfied grin appeared on the drummerâs face then, âOh Iâm sure Alex would love to take you for a ride.â His tone so suggestive, Breana laughed harder than sheâd anticipated, having to hide in Mattâs neck to lower the intensity of it.
Nick continued the teasing, âAlex likes a good ride, youâre assured to have fun.â
Jamie not even missing a beat before adding, âOr you could take her for a ride later if thatâs what you both want, privacy and all.â The guitarist winked and she was as red as one could be, but she took her camera and used it as a prop to hide her blush.
In the viewfinder she found Alex flipping off Jamie and Nick who were standing on his right side by the bikes they had chosen. She focused the shot and pressed the shutter, rolling the film to have it ready for the next frame.
Alex turned to Helders then, taking his helmet off to talk. Instead of directing his words to his friend, he sent them to Breana, âI assure you Breana, itâs not gonna be a good ride so donât waste your time.â
Breana laughed even louder, making Ella do the same and the guys exploded in laughter when Matt copied Alex and flipped him off. âDonât listen to him Bre, I promise thatâs not true. Heâs just frustrated.â
âWell that sounds desperate now, Matthew.â Ella chatted back after gaining back some composure.
âNo it doesnât, Iâm just saying⌠Itâs not a veridic statement.â The drummer continued pushing his argument.
Jamie snickered, âYouâre just making it worse there mate.â
Matt huffed, the bandana covering his mouth blowing at his action. âYou know what? See yaâ later, dickheads!â
And with that and a shriek from Bre, he changed gears, pressed the pedal and went fast straight into the empty road.
Ella turned around after the cloud of dust had disappeared and looked at Alex who was squinting from the sunâs intensity and his lack of sunglasses on his face. She still had her camera on and in between her hands, so she snapped one last shot of him with his hair all messy from taking the helmet off and sweaty from the desertâs burning weather.
She advanced the film roll one last time before turning her camera back off and letting it hang on her neck. Nick and Jamie had put on their gloves already and were getting the helmets on their heads when Alex spoke up.
âSo are you hopping on or not?â his hands were resting on his spread thighs and she had to force herself not to get distracted by those legs and look up to his face.
âI donât know⌠Ben and Aaron might need me and Iââ
âThey wonât say anything if I explain how Iâd refuse to get in the shot if you werenât riding with me.â he shrugged nonchalantly while she was blushing once again. âCâmon, I wanna be the one that gives you your first ride.â he said innocently, no suggestive undertone.
She raised her left eyebrow and replied, âYou wouldnât be the first one.â
âBut you saidâ?â he continued, confused until he saw her face and realized what she meant. He smirked at her sudden boldness, âWell then, we shall see how well you ride.â
And just like that her boldness was snapped away and she blushed harder. Keeping her stare at the ground as she took her steps over to him and the bike, she reached to grab the helmet Matt had left behind and she put it on carefully under Alexâs gaze. Moving her camera to rest on her left side rather than on her stomach.
Carefully she sat behind the singer, not really knowing what to do with her arms. He saw her hesitating hugging him by the waist so he encouraged the action. âJust hold onto me alright? I promise I wonât go too fast.â
She hummed at his promise, scooting a bit closer to his back so she was pressed into him. Her hands clasping each other around his middle was a sight that made him smile hard under his helmet.
When he revved the engine of the bike, her hold got tighter and he laughed at the tiny shriek she let out. âDonât worry, I got you Ellie.â He squeezed her right thigh briefly in reassurance, and with the thought of how natural it felt to do that with her, he changed gears and started driving.
They rode the bikes for about twenty minutes, mainly following the same path as the bikers. The cameras followed them and she was living for the thrill it gave her. The day hadnât finished, yet she couldnât wait for the next time sheâd get to ride a bike.
Taking a break in a long dirt field, Matt and Alex stood up from the bikes, Ella still sat on Alexâs but without her helmet now. Alexâs helmet had taken over his seat and they were all smoking Ellaâs cigarettes.
Both musicians had teased her for her selection of cigarettes, âReally Ella? You couldnât get more American.â Matt had said the second he saw the turquoise Natural American Spirit cigarette pack.
Alex giggled, âWhat does organic cigarettes even mean?â
She excused herself blushing like she always did. âIt means the tobacco is organic,â she rolled her eyes, âbut okay, let me be, I just wanted to try them. A friend recommended them to me but Iâm waiting to finish this pack to go back to my Marlboro reds. I miss them.â she sighed letting the smoke out of her lungs.
Matt continued to tease, âOrganic cigarettesâŚâ he shook his head smiling, knowing that he was pushing Ellaâs buttons even more.
âOkay Helders, you know what? Just shut up, Iâm never sharing smokes with you again.â she scoffed, not annoyed entirely but she was teasing him as well.
âGood for me if I can avoid whatever this is.â he said waving the half burned cigarette.
She rolled her eyes once more before taking a long drag of her cigarette and then tossing it on the ground and quickly stepping on top of it. âWhatever,â she pulled her camera that was still resting on her side and turned it on, âpose for me idiots, lighting looks good here.â
They stayed where they were, chuckling but turned to look at her. Alex took a drag of his cigarette and Matt just stood there with the bandana around his neck now rather than covering half of his face. After she pressed the shutter once, she used the lever to roll the film and took one last picture. She turned it back off and waited for the men to finish smoking.
And right there her thoughts were once again all taken by Alex. She knew smoking was badâhell, her mom had given her a huge lecture when sheâd first found her smoking on a picture in Facebook, telling her all about how your lungs would slowly die and sheâd get cancer if she kept that up. She knew it was true but she still rolled her eyes, sheâd grown with the smell of burning tobacco from how her dad would always have at least two a day, what did she expect?
But it truly seemed like smoking didnât do anything but good to Alex. He looked so especially hot to her when he was smoking. And she swore he could be the example of the arguments to fight the debate on smoking, in favor of the scientifically proven murderous addiction.
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The day had gone on, Ben and Aaron didnât say much about her riding in the back of Alexâs bike. Sheâd been nervous when approaching her bosses to ask if there was anything she could help with, but she was surprised when they just told her that the bikers scenes had been amazing, they thanked her for the good idea and managing to get such a cool group of people to work with.
She was elated to say the least, a weight lifting off her shoulders at the lack of trouble. She still had had to deal with the curious looks from multiple people on her crew but she was getting used to them now and she had been learning how to ignore them.
One of the last scenes they filmed was of Matt and Breana getting off on top of a UK flag. A fire was burning on a metal barrel beside them, the flames contrasting perfectly against the pitch black surroundings and setting the mood for the couple being filmed.
She wasnât sure what she was feeling, she just knew Matt and Breana were hot together and she was holding her jaw closed with a bit of struggle. The band was standing with her, Nick and Jamie to her left and Alex to her right. The singer had told his two bandmates about her crush on Breana so that they would keep an eye on her behavior around her throughout the day, so while they were all watching the scene, theyâd take turns to look at Ella and the poor job she was doing on trying to keep her reactions neutral.
After what felt like an hour but had only been half of one, Ben had wrapped up the production officially and everyone clapped to themselves and their hard work. Breana was called over by the costume and makeup department and after giving Matt a kiss on the cheek, she left him to get changed. The drummer spotted his friends and made his way to them with a satisfied smile.
But before he could say anything, Ella talked. âHelders, you did a good job⌠you lucky bitch.â she added that last bit sounding jealous, leaving the man confused.
Alex laughed, âShe is a bit too jealous of how close you got with Breana, sheâs got a slight crush on her.â
Nick snorted, âSlight? Not at all.â
Ella gasped, turning to Alex who was the only one who had caught her on her crush on Breana. âAlex Turner, you snitch!â she said through her teeth.
âCâmon you think no one would notice?â the singer said in defense.
Jamie aiding his friend and saying, âYeah Ellie, youâve been drooling.â The smirk on his face made her roll her eyes embarrassed.
Matt put an arm around Ellaâs shoulders then, sighing in a fake defeated tone, âWell, who do I think I am stepping in the way of true love?â
She shrugged his arm off, âPiss off Helders.â she mumbled.
The drummer raised his eyebrows at her then, âYou hang out with Alex for a bit and you start sounding British? Iâm impressed.â
This time though, it was Alex who replied for her, âHelders⌠piss off, would yaâ?â
Matt laughed, shaking his head and pointing towards Alex while looking at Jamie and Nick as if to say âget a load of this guyâ. Jamie and Nick gave him knowing smiles, it was painfully obvious that he liked Ella and they were wondering where it would lead to.
Ella had excused herself and gone to help the production team pack everything back up. Keeping the chats with her coworkers to a minimum so she could finish sooner and so she could also avoid any talk about the bandâwell, Alex in particular.
Since it was a Monday and they had had quite a busy weekend, no one even suggested going out for drinks to celebrate, too tired to think about anything else other than their own beds. Ella had been too, but looking back to everything that had happened in just this weekend alone, had her filling up with a surge of energy that she was struggling to keep down.
Matt and Breana seemed especially affectionate after the production, talking to each other for the hour and a half it had taken for the Focus Creeps crew to fit everything back up on their bus.
Before everyone got to bidding each other farewell, Matt and Breana approached the directors and Ella.
âBen, Aaron. Was just thinking here with Breana, wouldnât it be fun if we went to Las Vegas for the day and filmed a bit there? We could get some good footage there.â He sounded very convincing, really trying to sell his idea. Not because he wanted to be filmed more, heâd rather be done with it already but he wanted to spend more time with Bre and Alex to have Ellaâs presence for a little while longer too so if this idea would have them that, then so be it.
To Ellaâs surprise, Aaron declined on the idea, âIâm tempted to say yes, but we need to go back and start editing and look over the footage just to see if we need to do any reshoots.â
Benâs addition though was the one that gave her whiplash. âBut Ella could go, and film you guys around like she did in the arcade. I know you all get along with her so Iâm sure you wouldnât mind just having her than the full crew.â His suggestion lingered in the air and everyone turned to look at her for an answer.
She opened her mouth to respond but nothing came out of it. Matt looked at her encouragingly, Breana was resting her chin on his shoulder and kept nodding at her to incite her to say yes. Ella sighed and cleared her throat, âUhm, yes of course Iâd love to go.â her voice sounded hesitant as she thought of how on earth sheâd go to Vegas if her car was back at the office. âIâd need to go back to the office to get my car thoughâŚâ
Matt clicked his tongue at her which made her blush, feeling silly. But what had been silly about her comment? How else was she going to go to Las Vegas? In a taxi? That would be worth at least half of her monthly income.
âYouâre going with us on the tour bus.â the drummer replied, making her freeze.
âAre you sure?â she had to ask one more time, just to give him the opportunity to take back the offer but he didnât.
âI am sure.â Matt said confidently, âBre is coming with us on the bus as well.â
An oh escaped her lips, âOkay, well, erm⌠Yes, thatâs fine by me then.â
Breana let out an excited squeal that made a grin break out on her face. And a minute later she was getting a bag with the camera sheâd used at the arcade and a couple more things she could need throughout the day in Vegas.
With her hand clutched on the backpack carrying the filming devices and accessories, and with her other little backpack sheâd brought over for the weekend, she walked up to the Monkeys tour bus.
The couple of the hour were there waiting for her and Breana leaped forward to hug her and link her arm with hers to walk into the vehicle. Matt said she could drop her things inside wherever she wanted and that they had enough bunks for everyone so Ella neednât to worry about anything so she sighed a bit in relief.
The relief only lasted a few seconds since when Matt opened the door to the stairs of the bus, she realized sheâd be spending the day with the band and in their environment. With Alex and in his environment. Fuck.
The nerves she had were overpowered by the loud cheering she heard when Breana and her stepped into the main lounge area of the bus. And when Matt opened one of the cupboards on top of the makeshift kitchen sink, grabbed a silver Patron tequila bottle and set it on the table in front of the band, she was weirdly excited and scared for what was going to happen on this trip.
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A/N: Vegas babyyyyy!!!!! I love me a Vegas fanfic moment so it was a blessing Evil Twin mv has Vegas clips in it. That's coming to you guys in a fortnight heheh. Any ideas of what will happen?? I hope these two weeks fly by because I'm hurting not posting the next part right now. Thank you so much for reading!! I hope you liked it and I love hearing any and all of your thoughts so please feel free to share them with me! Have a lovely weekend everyone, see you soon! xx
Taglist: @imagine-that-100â @red---moonâ @kennedy-brookeâ @faveficzâ @indierockgirrlâ @ladydraculasthings @moonvrâ @unwantedlovergirlâ @eaglestar31
#Alex Turner#alex turner x reader#alex#turner#arctic monkeys#alex turner fanfiction#alex turner fanfic#alex turner fluff#alex turner blurb#alex turner drabble#alex turner one shot#alex turner imagine#alex turner x y/n#alex turner arctic monkeys#matt helders#nick omalley#jamie cook
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welcome to my blog!
pls drop a like once youâve read this post! | last updated 24 october 2024
BASICS
my name is karamell! its a pleasure to meet ya :D
i go by she/her and am cis female :3 not too fussed abt pronouns tho!
at present i am 17, my birthday is the 16th of june. iâm australian + filipino, so sorry if i post something at an ungodly hour for your timezone lmao
this blog will be for my fandom reblogs, art and countless ramblings! i have a separate account dedicated to undertale multiverse content -> @karamellz-multiverse-l0g (i donât post there a lot because undertale is on the backburner for now!) iâm currently aiming to get into an animation course for university, so all my art is working towards that :3
i am also self-appointed chairwoman of the rui kamishiro fanclub! not that thatâs too important⌠but i like saying it lol
BYF
i donât tag my reblogs/queue usually so uhh good luck poring through that >< all of my original posts are tagged for convenience though, you can find my tags in the search bar :3
in relation to that iâm VERY multifandom so srry if you get bombarded with stuff that doesnât relate to you haha! but hopefully youâll like the stuff i rb too, iâm a firm believer in the power of brainrot spreading and most of my fandoms are from the same niche anyway!
i dont have a dni because realistically i cant rlly control who sees my stuff, but if you or the stuff you post make me uncomfortable iâll just block you. no hard feelings <3
FANDOMS + FAV LIST
project sekai - rui kamishiro, tsukasa tenma, wxs, n25, okay actually its everyone i love proseka soo much
vocaloid - miku, una + deco*27, n-buna, kikuo, pinocchio-p, inabakumori, picco, harumakigohan, maiki-p
d4dj - unichørd, hapiara, lyrilily
bandori - pasupa, morfonica, hhw, ras
enstars - trickstar, alkakurei
love live - rina tennoji, shioriko mifune, hanamaru kunikida, ruby kurosawa, you watanabe, ayumu uehara
fragaria memories - romarriche
milgram - amane, yuno, mahiru
undertale (utmv) - xtale, ink, murder time trio
danganronpa - shuichi saihara, kaede akamatsu, k1-b0
twisted wonderland - heartslabyul (deleted the game because UGH the grind)
denonbu - harajuku district
revue starlight - lalafin, karen, aruru (i love all of them tho)
cookie run kingdom - had a very minor fling with this one so you wonât see it a lot
genshin impact - also minor fling, have not played past liyue. solely here for the banger character designs
mcyt (idk if iâll reblog anything from here but i know a little bit of the dsmp lore and am attempting to understand life series??)
other things you may see: lalaloopsy + other doll lines from that era, mlp, warrior cats, cute art i think is nice, lunime gacha games (i was very much a âgacha kidâ back in its prime), puyo puyo, writing stuff, THE COLOUR PINK, webcore, memes, cool crafts, yorushika, other teenage girl things idk
TAGS
karamell yells - ramblings and random stuff, may include headcanons and analysis
karamell doodles - my art! mostly fanart at the moment
karamellâs wips - works in progress (stuff iâll never finish probably)
karamellâs pocket - posts i want to come back to
karamell gaming - random game screenshots
karamell rolls the gacha - my gacha pulls of varying luck
karamellâs mailbox - asks, submissions, tag games, all that fun stuff
karamellâs rq pile - drawing requests (which are always open btw, feel free to send some in if youâd like!)
karamell stop missing the blonde clown - thirsty? brainrot posts about tsukasa tenma because boy do i love him
karamellâs confections - various big projects (videos, edits, etc). all the cool stuff i make that isnât normal art basically
karamellâs burning pile of ocs - see image below:
(utmv submissions for this will be posted on my sideblog)
UPDATE: the number is now 350 instead of 244!
when in doubt. rui scribble - various random scribbles of rui kamishiro because i like drawing him
karamell asks a question - mostly polls and stuff i need help with
say hi to my sideblog guys - self rbs from my utmv sideblog @/karamellz-multiverse-l0g. just for a little bump! :)
ALLIURA - general oc posting, inc. OCtobers, oc challenges, animatics, doodles etc. i might make a sideblog for this later when i have more time to work on it
TAGS FOR MINI-SERIES
karamellâs project precure au - project sekai x precure (updates never)
wxs revue au - project sekai x revue starlight (updates randomly)
karamellâs birthday treat cafe - food-themed fandom birthday drawings (on break for a bit)
kamikou seniors trio - tsukasa ena rui posts because i want them to hang out
the mizuruiena agenda continues - mizuki rui ena hanging out
rui dress agenda - rui in dresses what did you expect
rui fanclub sekai - read my blog description. just silly things about a hypothetical rui fanclub
FIND ME! (links are underlined!)
youtube - karamell-sweetz!
tiktok - karamell.sweetz
pinterest - karamellxsweetz
art fight - karamellxsweetz
ao3 - mirai_spxrk
FRIEND ID (GLOBAL SERVERS ONLY)
bandori - 4636316 (karamellxshowtime!) (i might be out of friend space tho)
d4dj - ffzoJpPf (mirai.chørd)
project sekai - 168505012555628545 (karamell?!)
enstars - 7709727947 (karamelloid)
that should be all. enjoy your stay on my silly little corner of the internet!! đŤś
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OKAY SO THIS IS SOMETHING ME AND MY FRIEND DO THAT I SORTA NOW HC J & S TO DO IT AS WELL and i need you- queen of prongsfoot to tell me weather if they also would do this or this sleep-deprived me talking
so every year basically on our birthdays we send each other letters. and by sending I mean hand delivering it to them cause we live two mins away
but it just always has this format right? the address while following the normal format didn't contain the actual working address ala harry potter style kinda like for ex
ash/resident of everlasting patience and stupidity/ mountain of discarded coffee cups/ 16000 pictures in phone gallery street
but then the letter would be the most beautiful piece of ode to friendship to each other and just her and she shines my world and just e v e r y t h i n g.
like my description of notes is this should be so emotive that the reader is reduced to tears laughs and everything in between and those letters (more like a 5 page essay) is something that is one of my most cherished thing to get yearly.
and if you want to add angst to it, imagine sirius finding all those old james letters for each one of his birthday and one maybe for his 22nd one that he didnt get to read for lets just sya reasons
the way i saw u write this in real time and still took so long to get to it đđ i should be locked up i s2g.
no okay but listen!!!! ur onto something here!!!
so. because iâm me, iâm gonna add an aspect of generational/familial history to it. so, imagine like fleamont and/or euphemia writing letters for james on his birthdays, right? and itâs filled with these heartfelt, funny messages and he cherishes them a lot. brings them to hogwarts and reads them when heâs feeling upset (only making himself more homesick in the process lol)
and then on siriusâ first bday in hogwarts (which is only a couple months in, yeah?) he sees that he gets a terrible, horrible letter from his family that doesnât nothing except scold him/humiliate him and how it hurts sirius. SO. in a bid to restructure his perception of bday letters, james borrows from his own tradition & starts writing letters for sirius. heâs so filled w affection always that itâs absolutely not a problem for him to fill pages upon pages. (and u can even add the address thing as way for j to make it funny so sirius laughs!!)
so yeah, james starts it and slowly, hesitantly, sirius does the same. heâs never as proficient at it as james is, because heâs not as emotional in the first place, but whatever he writes is always heartfelt. (also, in a creative sirius scenario, u could hc that he draws something or composes music just for james and thatâs equally sentimental but w/o being so horribly revealing?)
and like yeah, imagine then that james has got his 22nd bday letter all written and stuff bc heâs a little dork who never leaves stuff until the last minute unless he can help it, right? and despite doing this for a decade (a decade!!! they only had a decade together!!!) heâs still so fucking excited to write a fresh one bc he loves gifting and making people happy etc etc, and so he writes it, and keeps it in a nice little envelope w the potter seal embossed on it, just waiting to give it to sirius & see his expression (fav part) except.
except he canât.
and when sirius enters the house, he sees jamesâ cold, dead body lying on the floor first, but once he gets up from the ground, he spots the envelope a few feet away and lets out a howl like never before. reads it so obsessively he can recite it, each word hitting like a stab in the heart.
(or, alternatively, u can imagine him somehow discovering the letter post-azkaban after heâs spends dozen years being psychologically tortured, reliving the pottersâ deaths, and believing himself to be the cause of it. u pick)
(and of course, once sirius escapes, he does the same for harry. and to parallel james & sirius, the letter he writes for harryâs 16th is left in GP and harry only finds it after the warâor even during when they halt thereâwhen heâs cleaning it up or wtv and basically breaks down all over again)
#james potter#sirius black#harry potter#good godfather sirius black#also!!! queen of prongsfoot đĽşđĽş my HEART#this got so long hehehe#but i just. could see it So Well#sirius writing harry letters absolutely happens in an AU where he raises him#can lowkey imagine jily writing letters for harry too#god i just. love letters so much#theyâre so precious#contain so much history#a TANGIBLE evidence of oneâs love & regard#âi am thinking of uâ#hnghhhhhh#penâs (delayed) asks#penâs notes
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đš Ë ŕŁŞâš â past tense
pairing: mike wheeler x fem!reader
summary: youâve had a crush on mike wheeler since birth, however heâs never been too fond of you. but high schools coming up and after a few events, you finally get over mike but how the tables turnâŚ
warnings: asshole mike đđđ
age of pairing: 15-16
a/n: this was originally the flipped fic i made first but i changed it up a little and was just bored ALSO IT BARELY MAKES SENSE LOL
june 24th, 1981
you had just finished your third lap around the neighborhood on your bike. it was summer yet the heat was bearable, at least to be outside before two p.m. or else you had to smother yourself with sunscreen to prevent getting burned. you thought it was a good idea to head home now as you biked around the corner to see your familiar washed down yellow house.
what was unfamiliar was the three white moving trucks pulling up the house next to yours. it was a large white house that had been empty for some time now. you expected some elderly couple or family of like eight kids to move in. but as you parked your bike on the driveway of your house, you walked towards one of the trucks that had people in it.
there was a little boy with dark hair and a navy jacket on. it was summer and he was wearing a jacket? who was this kid? he had his back turned to you, making you more curious. you started to jog to him and a man who was giving him brown cardboard boxes bigger than his torso. it was probably his dad. he had thick glasses and a come over like most guys you saw at the grocery market and shopping mall.
they were in the moving truck and moving around boxes so you jumped in, âhi! you need some help?â you reached for one of the boxes that had a red label âFRAGILEâ which you disregarded. âwhoa there, thatâs some heavy stuff, why donât you head on home little girl,â he shooed you away and put a foot on the box you were reaching for, preventing you from carrying it.
you didnât take it personally, lots of people probably donât want a strange girl taking their belongings. âhey dadââ the boy peered into the moving truck where you and his dad stood. he stopped himself once his eyes laid on you. he seemed scared more than friendly. ďżź
he had a band-aid on his chin and freckles on his cheeks. he wore a stripped collar shirt under his jacket and plain khaki pants, reaching all the way to his black sneakers. wow was he dressed for winter! you were paying too much attention to what he was wearing you didnât even realize he was speaking.
you only looked at his face. once your eyes met his, you knew this boy was going to be yours. no matter what.
august 16th, 1981
ââand when we got there it was the beach, like everywhere!â your classmate carly kept talking about her trip to california as the rest of the girls listened in awe. living in hawkins had its perks sometimes but not having a beach was not one of them. however you didnât really care about what she did or what she was saying.
it was the first day of fifth grade and the only thing you were excited for was the teacher to bring in the new student. your next door neighbor, mike wheeler. throughout the hot summer days, he was the only thing that made those days hotter. you felt your cheeks warm up whenever he would reluctantly knock on your door to drop off a pie or any treat his mom was baking that week.
those days were the days you waited all week for. every friday evening you would look your best, wearing your hair in the cutest ways and putting on the clean clothes fresh out of the laundry so you could smell the sweet flower scent. you would also prevent anymore else from approaching the door.
you stood next to the door, in front of the mirror adjusting your hair while waiting for him to arrive at about seven to knock on the front door. you would wait exactly six seconds so he wouldnât realize that you were literally waiting on hand and foot for him.
what you didnât know was he basically saw you through the small side window, standing there counting in your head until finally deciding to get the door. he thought it was weird. he thought you were weird. when his mom would nag him weekly to take a new baked treat over to your house, he thought he was getting punished.
he would have to go all the way down the stairs and get the plate or tin and walk over to your house next door. he complained that the walk felt like a whole marathon when in reality it was only about twenty steps maximum. then he would knock on the door not even bothering to press the doorbell because you had probably had touched it.
he would watch you wait like ten seconds until finally answering the door with a bright smile and thank him a million times. he would keep a straight face and just nod, not one word coming out of his mouth during the last six weeks heâs been doing this.
you would always take any chance to play with him. if he was outside about to get on his bike, you would rush outside without a care in the world if you stumbled down the stairs or hit your knee on a stair. but the instant you would get on your bike, you saw him peddling away like he was trying to get away from zombies. you thought he was going to go meet someone or had something to do, like being the newspaper boy? so you didnât mind it.
sometimes when you felt like it (basically always) you would get on your bike and chase him, following where he was going. he was just going in laps like you did which meant technically he couldnât say this following because you were just a fellow neighborhood kid riding their bike around.
you tried your hardest to catch up to him, so you could chat with him or even go somewhere with him but you didnât know if it was if he had iron lungs and mechanical legs or because he always had a head start, his back would always be turned.
beginning school was the next dreaded thing mike was worried for. not because itâs a new school and he didnât know anyone. he did know someone, you. mainly that was why he dreaded it. he would have to pass the halls and avoid you to the fullest. what if he ended up with the same teacher as you? then he knew heâd be screwed.
âeveryone, this is michael wheeler. iâd like you guys to be nice and respectful to him, please sit down beside y/n. y/n raise your hand,â the teacher spoke carefully and guided him towards you who had a hand up as if there was a star to be reached. âhow could the universe love you so much!â you thought.
how could the universe hate him so much, mike thought.
he walked towards his seat that was sat to the right of you. you watched as he slowly sat down and pulled out a blue notebook, the same as yours. yours had a few peeled off sticker residue and markings from previous pens and pencils but it was the same alright.
mike didnât spare you or your desk a glance to notice so you thought itâd be best to let him know. while the teachers back was turned and faced the blackboard to write down the agenda, you leaned to your right side. âmikeâmike, look weâre matching!â he looked at you holding up your notebook like the nobel piece prize and groaned.
not the reaction you expected but it was mike wheeler after all. he would always find a way to avoid you but you were already there. he was hiding and you were next to him. almost attached! for the rest of the day, he looked away from you, facing his right side instead of his left where you sat.
he was talking to lucas and will, two boys who sat near him as well. youâve never talked to them before even though you spent the last four years of school with them. they seemed weird, not like geeky weird, but like they couldnât hold a conversation with you. maybe it was early puberty?
either way, you sat in silence. looking at the board but stealing a few glances to peek at mike from the corner of your eye. he was passing notes and laughing with the others boys. looks like he already got himself some new friends. friends that didnât include you.
june 7th, 1984
tying your white shoelaces to your red sneakers, you entered the classroom for the last day of school. your hair was tied back into a ponytail and moved from side to side as you approached the library. you wanted to return all the books from this school year before you forgot and then finally get to enjoy the start of summer.
as you put it back onto the shelves, you overheard a familiar voice. mike. instead of walking away to spend your summer day, you leaned towards the bookshelf and waited for the boys to speak again. âpeople will think youâre doing charity mike!â one of the boys said. âyeah iâm not one to be mean but sheâs so gross like sheâs been obsessed with you forever and did you see her stupid yard?â âthat piece of shit!â âshut up itâs a library shhhh,â one of them said. âmike come one be honest.â
you gripped onto the books in your arms and waited for mikes response. âyeah i would kill myself if i was seen with her,â he laughed. you immediately ran out, getting out of the school and getting on your bike. without another thought you rushed inside your house and to your room.
january 3rd, 1985
mike had made it clear he didnât reciprocate your feelings and even though it was hard, you swallowed your emotions and decided to give up. other than the conversations you had practically forced him into, he never made the effort to talk to you. basically avoiding you for the last four years. so the last day of ninth grade you expected it to the same. and it was.
until you got home. you stood in disbelief in the middle of your kitchen as your mom spoke to you. the words âdinner at the wheelers,â sounded incorrect like you had a hearing problem. but when she repeated it, you realized it was true. âbut theyâve never invited us over in like the four years theyâve lived here?â you asked and sat on at the table.
âwhat matters y/n, at least theyâre noticing now,â your mom responded and before you could mutter âthatâs ridiculousâ you walked out and into your room. sitting on at the desk, you stared down at your textbooks, âmike wheelerâŚwhat could he want now?â youâd eventually gotten over him, as you do with most crushes so you didnât mind going over for dinner.
you werenât going to be a stuttering, blushing mess and you would be polite and kind. especially to his parents and not mind him any extra attention. but why now? why after these three long years would be invite your family over?
the afternoon came sooner than you thought and you found yourself in a clean formal outfit with a homemade key-lime pie in your hand, waiting in front the mike wheelerâs door. it would be a lie if said you hadnât been facing this door a million times. you used to come and knock on his door almost every weekend and everyday in summer, asking him to play or come over but his response was a quick decline.
at first he was nice about it, saying he had to help his mom or making up another lame excuse but than he stopped trying to even be somewhat kind about declining your offer. you could see him through the living room window, reading a book and gritting his teeth while you pressed his doorbell time after time. he would ignore you or make one of his other family members get the door, so he could avoid you at all costs.
it was disappointing to say the least but you still saw him at school. you waved to him every chance you got but after experiencing his unresponsiveness for about the seventieth time, you quit. he probably never even noticed your existence at this point!
but mike knew. he always knew, and he was different than you thought. once you stopped caring about him and knocking on his door or taking any chance to make him look at you, he realized something. he missed it, he missed you. it was now him searching for you in the class and him who stared out his bedroom window to see if you would walk over and ring the doorbell.
he didnât like you. even if only as a friend, he would never admit it. but seeing you view him unlike before changed his mind. he liked your bright personality and your eagerness to try anything. sometimes he would sit in his room, staring at his math homework but thinking about you. how on the bus, you walked right passed him and sat next to timothee brown! crazy! everyone knew timothee was weird and no one ever would sit next to him. to seem unnoticeable, whenever someone boarded the bus, he would look at you who was looking at timothee. chatting, talking, laughing!
he would think to himself, âwhat was she laughing about? how could she sit there and laugh and look so beautiful!â however he could only turn around and stare out the window while his friend dustin continued to talk about dnd. why was this happening to him! he hated you. he hated you. always had and always will, so why was he dreaming about you every night and imagining what you were doing during class, outside of school, while with his friends, at dinner, during homework, and even when he was watching tv!
you were like a song he couldnât get out of his head.
a bad song.
there was a knock at his front door and as much as he wanted it to be you, his face showed different emotions. you stood with a pie in your hand and in front of his door once again. wasnât this want he wanted? but it wasnât. you looked forced, annoyed. how he looked whenever you would come up to talk to him.
it wasnât like before, no immediate hugs or jumps to conversations. you walked straight to the kitchen and helped mikes mom set the table. he only watched you walk right past him and ignore him. ignore him! he finally was going to speak to you and now his time was up? it was like a video game and he had used all this lives.
you tried to kept your composure, but to be honest when he opened the door with his shaggy dark brown hair, almost a shade of black and burgundy covering down to his eyebrow and straight freshly-ironed gray collared sweater, your heart slipped almost a beat. scratch that. make that three beats.
before he could look up, you turned your attention to nancy in the background who smiled and waved to you. quickly to divert his attention, you ran inside without a hello and entered the kitchen to help with dinner. brushing past mikes shoulder, deep inside you wished you paused and said hi whcih could possibly have sparked a conversation but he never did in the past three years so why would he start now!
sitting at a wooden dinner table could never have been more awkward. your parents and his had small conversations but mostly about work and school, meaning you and mike were out of the question. luckily you turned your head to nancy and instantly started to ask her stuff about high school. she gladly responded to your questions. she was so sweet, you kept your eyes away from in front of you and to the side where she was sitting. mike who was facing you was waiting for you to be done but you had no intention of stopping.
when nancy and you finished your conversation, you went up to use the restroom twice, forgot to turn off your record player in your room, and finally dinner ended. all of these were excuses to avoid talking to mike and he clearly noticed. at the end of dinner and everyone was settled in the living room, you excused yourself to your room so you could finish your homework.
surprisingly this was true, mr. dons just handed out an essay assignment due this week and you forgot to do it. you sat on your desk, opening your cabinets to get your notebooks and grabbing a few pencils. once you wrote the first word âthe,â there was a knock at your door.
âcome in!â you said and assumed it was your mom bringing you a snack or to tell you the wheelerâs were finally leaving. but it wasnât. âsorry to disturb you,â he apologized softly and approached you. you sighed, âwhat do you want?â he was nervous, looking around your room. he saw a small red notebook on top of your dresser, he looked back to you with your eyes glued to your papers. he carefully reached for it, âdonât touch that.â you turned around and stared at him, âseriously mike what are you doing here?â
âi just wanted to talk to you,â mike said and sat on your bed. you turned back to your homework, âwell i donât want to talk to you.â âwhy?â he asked, further agitating you. âbecauseâi just donât,â you groaned and tried focusing on the words in textbooks but you couldnât with the presence of mike wheeler.
âi thought you liked me,â mike mumbled which finally grasped your attention. âliked.â you replied, making mike finally leave your room.
#*:シďžâ§*:シďžâ§scwheeler#mike wheeler x you#mike wheeler x y/n#mike wheeler x reader#stranger things#stranger things 4#st 4 vol 2#mike x reader#mike stranger things#mike wheeler#finn wolfhard#finn wolfhard x y/n#finn wolfhard x you
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Its my birthdayyyy đ i just turned 14 lol my sister got the coronavirus so i really cant go out on my birthday so i just have to stay home all day đââď¸ can i pleaseee request toman boys preparing a birthday party for y/n cuz she did alot and helped them sooo they just wanna do something nice for her ig? Sorry if its too much u can ignore this request
my darling, happy birthday!! happy 14th to u bub, enjoy ur day, ok? i fell asleep and woke up really late for my class so I'm sorry if i ended up posting this on the 16th but i hope u and ur sister are doing okay and ur day was well spent! thank u so much for requesting and stay safe always, we gon celebrate this together yep (シĎシ)ă¤â(シĎシ) <33
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PAIRINGS: Toman x gn! reader
GENRE: fluff fluff fluff, humor, (not proofread cuz i got so sleepy)
- Two days before your birthday, Hakkai was the first one to alarm the gang about it, not even realizing that he let out a secret a little too late but they knew they shouldn't spare a single moment to take it to their advantage. "You guys have any plans for the weekend? I'm shit bored all the time." Peh-yan sighs and Mitsuya eyes him.
"Right, the 15th, huh? That's Y/N's birthday." Hakkai calmly states, in contrast to the two who were sharing concerned and startled expressions now that they had to rush a plan. "Wait what?"
"THIS SATURDAY?"
- The hectic schedule begins with Mitsuya sending an emergency text to their group chat, calling on their cells to let them in on this new found information and everyone seems to blame Hakkai, much less to blaming themselves for not even thinking about it at the first. "You could've told us sooner." Mikey scolds and they nodded their heads to his words. "WellâI thought all of you knew? What are we gonna do about it now?" And sharing the same links to their worry, they all shift their gaze to Mitsuya who already took part in expecting that they'd name him the handler for the event.
"Fine, I'll plan it and shit but everyone will help out. Not just me and Draken, alright?"
"Hell yeah! Let's do this for Y/N!" Chifuyu cheers which causes the rest of them to follow his glee at how ready they were to succeed with this.
- The sectioning of the plan starts by Mitsuya separating them by their abilities. He sticks to the division members and captains but for other instances, he's composing a team of three from different teams. "Smiley, Pehyan, and Bajiâyou three need to deny everything if they ask about what's going on, keep them distracted tooâmake sure Y/N doesn't even begin to think about it, okay?"
"Understood, boss!"
- The next day, those same boys were acting like stealthy undercover agents when someone brings up what you were going to do. They're invested on your answer all the way through. "Nothing strikes my mind for now but I'd like to spend it with the guys." You responded with a smile, a subtle imagination of the fun it contained if it turned into reality. Raising an eyebrow, Peh-yan scoffs while you walked his way and he half panics when he failed to construct his words.
"Oh, hey!" You greeted them, a bit curious to why those two were in your class. "You need something?" You asked them but Smiley let's out a chuckle. "None of your business." Baji says with a slight aggression to his voice as he receives a slap to the back, courtesy of the oldest Kawata twin.
"You suck at this." Peh-yan whispers. "Well uh, I'll see you then." You bid them good-bye and the curiosity sinks to you but you choose to pay not as much attention to it for now.
- "Draken, Chifuyu, and I will take care of the decor. Can any of you cook?" Mitsuya questions, eyes switching to every member while they shrug. The silver haired boy sighs, running a hand to his face at how he's carrying everything. "We can pitch in for the cake so you don't have to worry about it." Draken suggested and they nodded at his offer.
"I don't trust anyone else in the kitchen anyway."
- Mikey, Souya, Hakkai, and Takemichi were in charge of buying whatever the party leaders needed to have. Strolling in the mall with balloons in their paper bags, some streamers, and confetti bombsâthey didn't really expect to see you sipping on your coffee with a bag of your own while your eyes dart to them and suddenly they were all pushing each other to detect who'd be able to lie the best. Their leader walked as far as he could and the three other chickens were left to hand the carry ons from one person to another. Unfortunately, Souya was the chosen one to converse with you.
"It's nice to see you here, Angry." You send him a smile but with the banter behind him, he horribly panics and covers your eyes, a kick to Hakkai for them to run and the two obey, scramming as the blue haired twin's chest began to pant.
"Souya? Is everything okay?" You asked him when he lowered his hand. He shakes his head in response while you tilt your head, blank spaces filling your mind at his bizarreness.
"Y-yeah! BYE BYE!" He simply walks out in shame.
- "I don't want to talk to, Y/N. We're avoiding them as much as possible, remember?" Takashi reminds, sewing for the banner with a needle in his mouth. Unbeknownst to them, you stood outside their room right where your name had been mentioned. Clutching the strap of your bag, you stopped in your step, taking a peak to Peh-yan and Mitsuya who were the only ones inside.
"Avoiding?" You whispered to yourself but Ryohei sees your figure and nudges on the person beside him. Both of you shared a glance until that same boy comes in front of you, hands on either side of your shoulders. "Peh?"
"Y/N-chan! Nope we're closed, Mitsuya's busy!" He ushers before shutting the door right to your face out of panic all over again which leads the president to be worried of your reaction. Though, when he opens the door, you're gone in a flash.
- The next day, the word has gone out that you've been suspicious of their doings and they're even more pressured to maintain the secret because you're asking them if they needed some sort of help when you see them but all they do is excuse themselves. "What's wrong with them today?" You asked, your back slumping from your lack of conversation with him. Since then, you did avoid Mitsuya for the mean time because of the homeroom incident, to which he absolutely feels guilty about.
"I think Y/N is getting the wrong idea. They probably think they did something wrong." He states. "We need to hurry up or else."
- The boys continue onâworking extra hard even if they were facing arguments by a dozen of hours. "What if Y/N's allergic?" Souya asks, looking at the cake. "They're not... right?" His brother hinted. "Shit, I don't know!"
"Can you aim it higher? A little more to the leftâno too muchâstayâmore to the side please!" Takemichi orders Chifuyu who was groaning from the arm strain. "Oi, let's switch! My arms hurt so much!"
"Okay so when Y/N comes in do we bomb the confetti the moment they walk in?" Mikey questions and Draken shakes his head. "They're gonna choke from all the paper."
- It is slightly concerning when the Kawata twins were suddenly paying for your snacks, giving each a critique just to know if you were allergic to anything. "How's that one taste like?" Souya asks.
"It's okay, the flavor is...average, I guess." You observed while the two share a glance, mentally cursing when they realized it was majority of the flavor they got for you.
"More food for Y/N!"
- There were stupendous remarks, often made by Takemichi and Chifuyu just to get a reaction out of you. "I sure don't like...metallic stuff!" Raising an eyebrow, you turned to the duo and with a pen ready to write, Chifuyu squints his eyes to you.
"What is your opinion on color? Do you like it scattered or-"
"Is this an interview?"
- You're more persistent in what they were up to but it does pain you that you resembled a plague at how they kept their distance around you. Draken tries to assure you everyone else is busy with a Toman meeting but you weren't updated on anything. It was a clear lie for the rest, especially Peh-yan and Souya who were jittery and too obvious. Smiley and Baji were the only ones capable of holding out until the end, keeping the conversation fresh without the mention of your birthday.
- Still, they really want to make this a special day for you. Because of everything you've done for them to respect them and defend them when needed, a display of gratitude is what you deserve. "I don't want Y/N to feel like we're ignoring them too much but I'm excited to see their reaction though." Takashi had a proud smile on his face now that the full view of the set up looked so much better than the rough first day. Chifuyu was panting beside him from taping all the balloons from multiple walls and Draken wipes his sweat who was done putting the rest of the banner on the high parts.
"Y/N's gonna love this!" Takemichi hypes up from behind. "Not bad. How are we gonna lure them in?" Baji asks.
"Maybe it should be Mikey." Hakkai suggests and the blonde disagrees. "I'll mess it up. Now that all of this is set up, can we talk to Y/N? Maybe they'll be out after school and we'd never know." Their leader proposes.
"I'll do it. I owe an apology to them anyway." Mitsuya volunteers which relieved the others for the task.
- Much to their excitement for your actual birthday, you ended up avoiding them in return. The last two days felt like they pushed you away for a reason and it's taking a toll on you at how clueless you were. When the second division tried to approach you, you ended up turning to a different hall, purposely throwing off his direction which strikes him. "What's going on?" He whispers to himself and the next couple of minutes were spent trying to catch your attention.
The moment you do look at each other, mans is terrified. There's a chill cascading from his lower back to his nape at how closed off you were and it dawns on him that the whole situation of avoiding you ended up on the bad side of their decisions. "Oh shit." He cusses.
- "H-hey, Y/N!" Hakkai greets you with a nervous smile and you could only give a bow to him, eyes intent on the floor as cold sweat drops from him. "Okay bye Y/N!" Peh-yan then, out of the many instances he's slipped up, took the opportunity by grabbing your hand.
"I promiseâthis time I really have something to show you."
- You were quiet for the rest of the trip, they decided that it was best for you have a blindfold on which doubles your anxiety of where you were going anyway. It doesn't help that they kept murmuring and the more you took a step, the more you dreaded waiting for them to greet you. "Okay, stand there, we'll let go." Hakkai informs you as you shake your head. "Waitâdon't leave!" You cried and that was when no one else surrounded you.
Until a voice spoke, "Take of your blindfold, Y/N!"
- And as the fabric drops to you nose, your eyes were mesmerized by the sudden flash of light, surrounding the entire room. The decorations were well organized and a big banner that said happy birthday with a table filled with meals and gifts, even party hats with toy trumpets to celebrate. You covered your mouth out of shock, your heart not even letting it sink into you that this was the reason they've been avoiding you for a while. The words that ring in your moment of awe was, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" From all of the main captains and founding members of Toman.
Though, the confetti bomb didn't exactly blow up after they said it and Mikey was struggling so hard on pulling the object. "I can't do it." He complains while you let out a laugh. As a joke, Baji turned his gaze to you.
"Hey, Y/N? You think you can walk in again and let's do a retake?"
"Oh absolutely." You giggled at their inconvenience before obeying the long haired boys demands, walking in with a brighter smile than the first time and another chorus of happy birthday resonates through the building as the sound of the confetti finally working mixes with it. A rain of colorful strings and papers poured on all of you while you ran to them, catching them in an embrace.
- After hearing their plan with a couple of apologies here and there, you couldn't stop smiling and laughing at their stories of how close they were to giving in especially when you ignored them. "So? This was all the big fuss about?" You asked Mitsuya as he bids you a nod with a hand to your shoulder. "If it's all for you then it's worth it."
Mikey then brings in the cake, lit up in the amount as your age and they urge you to stand up. "We're thankful that you're here Y/N. We thank you for everything that you've done for us and we had a lot of fun planning this entire day out for you to enjoy, so, why don't you make a wish and let's begin your party!" He spoke with a smile to you and your heartbeat fastens at how lucky you were to be treated by such amazing friends.
They started to sing the classic happy birthday song, Peh-yan and Angry's voice casually above the others but they had to match that energy so even when the song was meant to be slow, the anticipation and rest they got now that everything was settled brought even more warmth to the room and a kick in the rhythm.
Closing your eyes as a wish is said in your mind, you blew the candle and with a few more embraces, they all began to cheer,
"Happy birthday, Y/N!"
TOKYO REV : @strawberrieas @kwrg @raya-sano @kimrena-stuff @heavensbeloved @rosewood1999 @beezebub @l-luci @bekky06 @keiisukebaji @manjiroarchiviste @smileysmileysmiley @tendo-shairdye @toshiswifey @thispenguinrocks @kleesboom
OVERALL: @stesphy @itsmeaudrieee @crapimahuman @meguroshi @floydenai @dai-tsukki-desu @inu1gf
#mitsuya tokyo revengers#mikey tokyo revengers#tokyo manji gang#tokyo revengers#tokyo revengers x reader#draken tokyo revengers#draken hcs#baji keisuke#baji hcs#baji keisuke fluff#chifuyu matsuno#chifuyu headcanons#nahoya fluff#nahoya kawata tokyorev#souya kawata#souya fluff#tokyo revengers hakkai#hakkai shiba fluff#peh yan#ryohei hayashi#toman mikey#toman#takashi mitsuya#mitsuya takashi#mikey fluff#draken#draken imagine#tokyo revengers takemichi#takemichi hanagaki
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Eurovision 2022 Ranking:
While Iâm working on the final chapter for my 2021 ranking, I will announce the obvious: I am of course NOT going to do a full 2022 pre-show ranking lol. Thereâs no time, and besides, I would be forced to rank 2022 twice, back-to-back and thereâs no fun in that! So instead, I will do it here, JUST to have a pre-show order of sorts. Can you guess which songs Iâm refering to by merely reading these acid-laced descriptions?
Also um, spoiler: I donât like this year much.Â
In 40th place, the fuckinâ Todrick Hall song In 39th place, oh great another overdramatic theatre gay. In 38th place, âBoys With Emotionsâ, the Salvaduncan remix. In 37th place, âI am gnomeâ In 36th place, Rock ânâ Roll Gays In 35th place, vegan PollapĂśnk In 34th place, hola mi bĂŠbĂŠbĂŠ In 33rd place, some kid attempting a 90s Not joke. In 32nd place, ASTOUNDINGLY, we finally find Bulgaria. In 31st place, the worst lyrics of the year (âThe battle of the life is bigger than you know // to act so selfishly is unforgiveable // the air is what they need, the air is what they breathe // THEY DIE WITHOUT IT!!! ITâS UNFORGIVEABLE!!!â is there a bdex for text?) In 30th place, a handsome ghoul. in 28th and 29th place, two songs that have a dead first minute: One of them transitions into a midtempo pop ballad while the other becomes an uptempo poprock song, you get no points for guessing which one I prefer. In 27th place, right above Denmark, the song whose country I WOULD have guessed as Denmark if I hadnât known any better. (also this song DOES sound like Elhaida Dani, whatâs up with that?) In 26th place, staggered dithering to a Yohio track. In 25th place, a camp pastiche of Green Day.  In 24th place, drunk uncles at a peasant wedding. In 23rd place, one of the biggest EDM disasters WAITING to happen. I am of course refering to We Are Domi, dâuh.. In 22nd place, spoken word (with an insipid song built around it I guess) In 21st place, some likeable Hellene filler In 20th place, You donât wanna test mah limits...x In 19th place, âWillowâ by Taylor Swift. In 18th place, the biggest bullshitters in the universe, if only they could bs themselves into actually going viral...x In 17th place, a lowish ranking for Kalush because I donât condone bad sportsmanship. (#VidbirWasnâtRiggedGiveItARest #LeaveEnvelopeLadyALOOOONE) In 16th place, again, SHOCKINGLY, we somehow find Maltaâs slice of generic Swedish scammer schlock? It could have been even higher if Hamilton Travel had paid me more for the sponsorship. In 15th place, a good Aviicii tribute, how nice that Estonia get to pretend theyâre Swedish for another year. In 14th place, a deepfake In 13th place, ALSO a deepfake?! but this one is accompanied by a Gabri Ponte protĂŠgĂŠ, so a bonus point for that. In 12th place, the most popular entry amongst Spanish border guards In 11th place, QUEEN Ronela only because the new drop bangs less than the original! In 10th place, a charming bunch of kids living the adventure of a life time. In 9th place, booty hypnotic, make it want mo mo mo mo In 8th place, @Itsamemaro in 7th place, adlib queen <3 In 6th place, the worst kept secret in the universe <3 In 5th place, country aunties / haim hags / incoming shock qualifier queens In 4th place, the winner of Eurovision 2022 In 3rd place, đŚđ In 2nd place, Competent Tanxugueiras + the man who moistened all of Europe through sheer eyecontact. In 1st place, Konstrakta because sanitation of both the body and mind are of paramount importance! Hereâs a fun graphic giving you some visual perspective:Â
WILL THIS HOLD AFTER ESC 2022?! Probably not (Iâm already looking for excuses to rank Brividi dead last <3) but this is what it looks like going into rehearsals!. (ESC2021â˛s top five will be up in a few days)
#Eurovision 2022#Turin 2022#BorisBubbles#Eurovision Song Contest#Eurovision#ESC2022#Pre-show#Pre-show Ranking#Ranking
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Fanfic Ideas #2
So I like the little dividers in the post so Iâm just gonna give 11 ideas on each and make a new one every time :3
Iâm also a very big person on fluff and hurt to comfort so the majority or all will probably just be that lol
x = Romantic
& = Platonic
đ¸ = Someone wrote/read story
Previous one right here
Next one right here
If you find any of these/write them please tag me đĽ°
âââââââââââââââââââââââ
~12th one~
Billy Hargrove x reader, (Max Mayfield & reader)
Readerâs been spending a lot of time with Max lately and Billyâs not happy! Why is reader hanging out more with Max exactly? Their love for Kate Bush thatâs why (and because Max is just awesome!)
âBut⌠Billy, itâs Kate Bush! Kate fucking Bush!!!â
~13th one~
Steve Harrington x Chef reader
Having a S/O who visits you at work is great, having a S/O who brings you food everyday for your lunch break is amazing, having a S/O who cooks and is an AMAZING cook is âyouâre too good for me wtf!â Lucky Steve gets home cooked meals every lunch â¤ď¸ (and Robin we canât forget Robin :3) The party? Theyâre pretty jealous though. (Family Video)
âOh fuck yeah! My favorite!â
~14th one~
Eddie Munson x Fallen Angel reader
Eddie Munson the man whoâs known as the âFreakâ of Hawkins, whoâs supposedly in a cult and has Satan hanging over him finds love⌠with an actual angel?! Yes you heard me right Eddie âthe freakâ Munson finds love with a fallen angel who sees him for him.
âEddie Munson correct? Itâs a pleasure to finally meet youâ đĽ°
~15th one~
Steve Harrington x reader
When the ding of the door indicates a new person wanting a sweet treat Steve gets ready to flirt his poor sad heart to the new beauty. Until he realizes itâs reader in a sailor outfit?! Yep! We got a new employee working at Scoops Ahoy and Steve canât be more happy but also embarrassed. Will he get another tally on the âYOU SUCKâ side or finally get a tally on the âYOU RULEâ side?!
âHey Dingus! Your sweetheart is here!â
~16th one~
Joseph Quinn x Costar/Wife reader đ¸
In an interview Joseph talks about how his wife who also plays his love interest taughtďżź him how to play Master of Puppets for season 4
âWe have a video of Y/N teaching you Master of Puppets hereâ
~17th one~
Joseph Quinn x reader
When Noah tells reader about the Doja Cat drama reader becomes jealous and when theyâre jealous they become a mess. Can Joseph calm the reader down before they do anything drastic?
âWhat do you mean?! Heâs my man!â
~18th one~
Billy Hargrove x reader
Billy Hargrove is known for a lot of things. From a ladies man to sex on legs. Thereâs only one person who can make him rethink his actions. That person is his S/O who when jealous can kill him where he stands.
âI swear to god Billy Hargrove if I see that woman near you one more time Iâll chop off your god damn balls!â
~19th one~
Bat Eddie Munson x bat reader
Two vampires/bats doing their thing! Just so much love for each other
(Anything bat Eddie tbh)
~20th one~
Either
Eddie Munson x reader or Steve Harrington x reader
Reader overhears the boys talking and teasing Eddie (Steve) about his crush on you. Excited the reader is about to announce their presence until said male starts to denial any and all feeling and start to make up lies just to hide his emotions. Upset and hurt reader decides to try and change for no needed reason
âWhat?! I donât like Y/N! I have no idea what you guys are talking about, I could never see myself with them⌠Right?!â
~21st one~
Eddie Munson x Singer reader
Eddie catches the reader singing Barracuda by Heart in the band room after hours and he just canât look away. Little does he know that sheâs also in a band⌠a band that heâs really fond of too!
âOh yeah! My bands called Supreme Angels!â :)
#stranger things fanfiction ideas#stranger things#steve harrington x reader#steve harrington#eddie munson x y/n#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson#billy hargrove x y/n#billy hargrove#joseph quinn#joseph quinn x reader#joseph quinn x y/n
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Our Reality
("In Reality," Part 2)
Request by @cuddleluv : can you PLSSSSSS make a part 2 to the âin realityâ ff đŠ Iâve got idea for it too! so y/n moves on and yk gets a new lover (you could choose who lol) and Wanda realizes what she lost after she sees y/n with her new lover and tries to get her back but y/n rejects her because her new lover respects and loves her
Ahhhh I'm so glad part one was so well received! Apologies for not getting this out sooner, I've been just so busy and, being honest, was seriously debating whether or not to actually create a second part. But I've gotten a few requests for it, a new experience for me. So here you go! â¤
I chose your new partner to be Natasha because why not?
Warnings: Angst, feels, swearing, Natasha x Reader (just in case you don't vibe with that) fluff (from Natasha), like, one very brief mention of sexual ideas
ฯฯฯ
"Tasha, did something burn in here?" You asked, entering the kitchen with a wrinkled nose. Natasha's face poked out from the faint smoke coming from the oven, her hand fanning it away.
"Well, it was supposed to be cookies for your birthday, but I guess that's not happening." She said, her cheeks turning a little pink. You felt heat bloom in your chest at the sweet gesture. Your face broke out into a grin.
"Aww, Tasha, you didn't have to do that!" You said.
"I almost wish I hadn't; it smells awful in here." Nat replied sheepishly.
"Well, at least you tried. That's more than enough."
Your mind wandered back to the events of a few months ago and your nasty breakup with Wanda at your word choice. She hadn't even tried to make an effort with you. You were just some disposable girlfriend to her. Something to distract her.
For weeks you had wallowed in self pity before deciding to get yourself back out there again. Slowly, sure. And you certainly weren't going to prey on a down on their luck possible partner for food and fucks. You were bigger than Wanda in that sense, at least.
After yet another failed date, you were walking home with your heels in your hands and dirt on your feet. You could keep your head held high and look around more.
Someone grabbed for your bag and started running off with it. You screamed after them, calling for someone to help. You were running out of breath not long after, ready to say goodbye to your possessions when the thief was suddenly knocked down. A woman with bright red hair had punched him in the face and sent him to the ground with a roundhouse kick. You approached her as she picked up the bag.
"Is this yours?" She queried.
"Y-yes. Thank you." You replied.
"No problem. But..."
"But?"
"Well, I saved your purse. So it's only fair we get coffee later." The redhead smirked at you. "Unless you would rather not."
"No, of course. It's the least I can do...?"
"Natasha."
"Natasha." You repeated. "The coffee place around the corner from here? Tomorrow at 9?"
"Sounds like a date."
And that's how you had met Natasha. Part of you had been worried remembering how you had first met Wanda after a bad morning. Well, having a bad evening could mean something different, you had figured. Sure enough, you and Nat had met for coffee and hit it off almost immediately. Now you both had a quaint little apartment together and you honestly hadn't ever felt happier.
Well, maybe you had been when you were still with Wanda, but those memories had soured knowing what she had really thought of you.
"Well, the cookies are a bust. How about we go to the cupcake place down the street and grab a few?" Nat suggested.
"That's the best alternative you could have suggested, Tasha. I'll grab my things."
"Okay, but I'm buying. It's still your birthday."
"If you insist."
***
"How about six lemon and six (your favorite cupcake flavor)?" You said.
"Sure thing. The order should be ready in a few minutes." The cashier said, jotting down the order and delivering the ticket to the back as Nat handed over the cash for the dozen cakes.
"I'm gonna go use the restroom, (Y/N). You can wait outside and I'll grab the cakes when I finish." Nat said, kissing your forehead.
"Okay."
The little bell dinged a few times as you exited the store, taking in the fresh air. The thought of the cupcakes made your stomach rumble the more moments passed. You pulled out your phone to distract yourself while you waited.
"(Y/N)?" A voice said from your left. You looked up at the direction of the voice and your breath immediately hitched.
Wanda.
"Oh. Hello, Wanda." You said curtly, returning your gaze to your screen.
"How... are you doing?" Wanda asked you.
"Like you care." You mumbled. Wanda didn't hear the comment, standing in silence for a moment.
"Okay, (Y/N), I have the cupcakes." Nat said, coming out of the store with a lavender box in her hand.
"Thanks, Tasha." You said, pecking her lips. Maybe this was petty; Nat wasn't big on PDA, but Wanda was standing right there and... it was too good to pass up.
"You're... Dating Nat?" Wanda asked.
"Yes. And?"
"...nothing, I guess."
"Exactly."
Wanda seemed to notice the box in Nat's hand (the redhead analyzing the conversation carefully so she could pull you away if need be), reading the label on the lid.
"Oh? What's the occasion?" Wanda asked, testing the waters. You inhaled sharply, turning on your heel to face Wanda.
"I would have been more surprised if you had actually remembered my birthday, all things considered. It's not like you cared anyways.
"(Y/N), wait--"
"February 16th, Wanda. That's the day you were born. That's right, I actually put in an effort to remember." You snapped.
"I... I... Y/N, listen, I--"
"Oh, here it comes. Wanda's Pity Party. Well, go ahead. Say what you have to." You folded your arms and stared at Wanda like a mad bull. The brunette bit her lip and rubbed the back of her neck sheepishly.
"I... look, I realize that I was being wildly insensitive and I should never have strung you along like that. I understand that and I deeply apologize. I was hoping that we might be able to move past this and... maybe be friends?" She said quietly. At this, you had to laugh.
"Friends? It's gonna take a lot more than that to even get close to friends, Wanda." You said haugtily. Then, you finally sighed. "I appreciate at least a small apology, though. But I don't ever see myself forgiving you."
"Y/N--" Wanda reached her hand out, but you batted it away.
"If you ever try to touch me again, I swear to God I'll--"
"Y/N, sweetheart, I think we should go." Natasha intervened before things could get worse. You glared at Wanda before walking back over to Nat and allowing her to place an arm around your shoulders. You glanced back at Wanda when you both started walking away. She looked crestfallen standing in the middle of the sidewalk. As much as you wanted to feel bad for her, you couldn't. Choosing to put on a brave face while you wiped your tears, you pulled out one of the cupcakes from the box in Nat's hand.
It was still your birthday after all. You would at least try to make it a good one.
ฯฯฯ
Hope you enjoyed this, cuddleluv (and everyone else who had been asking about it)!
As always, requests are open, so send them in!
#marvel#movies#avengers#wanda maximov#wanda maximov x reader#wanda maximoff x reader#wanda marvel#wanda maximoff#wanda x fem!reader#wanda x reader#natasha romanoff x you#wanda maximoff x fem!reader#wanda maximoff x you#natasha romanoff x fem!reader#natasha romanoff x reader#natasha romanoff#natasha romanov#request#writing request#fishgills writing#my inbox is open#requests open
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Ask Answers: April 13th, 2021
And weâre back again with more replies so soon, haha. Thank you for the asks!
Your game literally saved me this hell ass year. Thank you so much for the most perfect piece of art I've ever laid eyes on đŤ ... Do you guys have a rough idea when step 3 DLC will be released? I hope I'm not coming off as rude. I just really really love your game.
Iâm sorry for the late reply on this! You mightâve already seen the answer by now, but the Step 3 DLC is coming out on the 16th. Weâre almost there :D
This may be a silly question but did Jeremy's parents ever find out that Pran had lied about his age and if so, when/how? :3
Pran came clean to them after a couple of years, when he felt secure enough that it wouldnât ruin the relationship. The Kings were a little embarrassed, the dad more than the mom, but theyâre quite good at brushing past those kind of mistakes so it was all water under the bridge pretty fast.
hi! i know youâve answered a question about alterations in the our life moments by playing them in different orders, but i was wondering if there was a canon order that the moments for each step happen in? i figure with such a customizable game the âcanonâ timeline for the moments is whatever order the player completes them in, for example in step 1, i like playing the runaway moment pretty early, since cove trying to run away early in summer makes more sense to me personally. thanks!
Yeah, thereâs no canon order weâd insist on. Whatever you like can be the official route for you! And thatâs a neat way to look at that event.
What if your character isnât that into physical contact but still wants to be in a relationship with Cove? Would he be offended if you shy away or something along those lines?
He wouldnât be. Cove knows how hard that can be and is very understanding. If you set his initiative to low, the game always checks to make sure if you want to be touched or not rather than assuming that you do. And if you do choose that you donât want to, thereâs no stress or drama about it. Cove will just say thatâs okay!
Hellu! First off, I want to thank you all for such a wonderful game, it's been the best feel-good game I've ever stumbled upon and I can't express enough how much it has meant to me. Second, I've seen lots of people having trouble with making Cove confess before MC which makes me wonder if people will have the same problem in the dlc when you can propose to him. Is it possible to post a guide for that as well when it no longer could count as a spoiler? Again, thanks for such a beautiful game <3
Iâm really happy you had such a nice time with it c:. Weâll answer questions about it on tumblr/in the discord if they come up and, if need be, weâll find somewhere to upload a guide.
Do we get steam key from buying dlc on itch io?
Iâm afraid not. Thatâd be unfair to those who get it on Steam. Plus, Steam isnât super cool with giving out thousands of keys to be handed out for free on other sites anymore. They can refuse to give us the keys if they feel weâre trying to take advantage of their system.
hi! so if we reject cove's confession in step 3, can we still have MC and cove get together in step 4?
You can confess to him, yeah. But Cove wonât ever try confessing again if the MC turns him down in Step 3.
What if MC acts like someone Cove doesn't like, like Lizzie or Baxter lol
You canât do what Lizzie or Baxter does to make Cove dislike them. You can play the game and try, but it doesnât work out. The MC is just too compatible with Cove if youâre fond/crush/love, haha.
Hi! I absolutely love your game, I love the characters theyâre all so amazing, thank you for the game haha
I was wondering if you would get the NSFW DLC no matter what Patreon level you were at, or if you would could get it at any level? :)
&
What pateron tier do we need to get the 18+ content for Our Life? It's my new favourite game, keep up the good work!
It will eventually be available at the $5 tier and anything above that! Glad you both like OL ^^
On a scale from 1 (being the worst) to 10, how well do the XOXO jerk squad including JB handle horror?
JB: 8
Everett: 5
Nate: 4
Shiloh: 10
Bae: 10
Jeremy: 8 for non-gore horror, 2 for gory horror
Pran: 9
hello!! i was wondering if any of the boys from the Jerksquad would ever wear a skirt/dress?
None of them wear skirts/dresses out of personal preference. But if there was some kind of reason where they had to do it, none would be that bothered.
How does the jerk squad feel about Christmas?Â
Everett: He fucking loves it. Thatâs the best time of year.
Nate: Commercialized nonsense.
Shiloh: Itâs wonderful! So he claims.
Bae: He likes it quite a bit, but only for the joy it brings children/family. He thinks thatâs sweet but is too mature to be whipped up into a festive fervor himself.
Jeremy: Itâs awful.
Pran: He hates it.
does cove have any pet allergies? yes I know this is a little weirdly specific
He doesnât! The lucky boy isnât allergic to any animal.
Very important question: Would Lee and a musical-theatre loving MC run around belting Into The Unknown from Frozen 2? Because I feel that they wouldÂ
Probably, haha.
This might seem like a dumb question, so Iâm sorry, but with the Derek DLC are we gonna get to hang out with him in person instead of just calling him in step 3?Â
The Derek DLC adds events in Step 2 and Step 4. Itâs part of his story that you donât really get to be around him in Step 3. But you donât need to apologize for wondering!
hello! i'd like to ask if it's possible to play the android version of the game with the dlcs after buying the dlcs from steam. i wasn't expecting my android version to have my dlcs since i bought them from steam, but it had my step 2 dlc for some reason. is this a glitch or does the apk actually detect what dlcs you already have on your pc? if so, how come i don't have the step 1 dlc appearing on android? thanks!
That is some kind of glitch. It isnât possible for the Android DLCs to be unlocked by having them on PC. Maybe in one of the old builds we accidentally didnât lock the Step 2 DLC properly. Sorry for the confusion!
Does Derek and Baxter have canon sexualities? Will Derek still flirts with the MC regardless of their gender?
Theyâre both pansexual and can like the MC regardless of what gender they have.
I was wondering if Miranda had a crush on Cove in Step 3? I'm not sure why, but I got those vibes from her?
She thinks of him only as a friend. Cove isnât her type, haha.
This is probably a dumb hope, but I hope Cliff find someone he loves after Cove is grown up and everything. Or at the very least he has someone he's very close with after Cove leaves.Â
Thatâs a really sweet thought to have. Cliff stays single, but heâs graysexual and not-particularly romantically inclined. He only dated when he was really young âcause thatâs what everyone did. Family and friend relationships are more important to him, and he has plenty of that in his life ^^.
Heya! I was curious if there might be a nickname system in N&F? I kind of pull an Elizabeth when I play and choose a different variation of a name like having Rosie in step one and changing it to Rose in step two, then maybe Rosetta in step three for example, but it also feels a little bit odd being scolded using my nickname hehe. That's all I was wondering about, thank you for your time and the wonderful games!
We are hoping to include the option to go by a nickname in Our Life: Now & Forever. But nothing has been programmed yet, so we canât 100% guarantee it, haha.
Just curious, what would Liz's and Cove's relationship be if MC wasn't around? I feel like they wouldn't get along as well as they do now, especially during the first and second stepÂ
Theyâd definitely have a lot of friction growing up and theyâd likely avoid each other as much as possible. Once they were both older, I imagine theyâd be decent neighbor acquaintances. But they still wouldnât be nearly as close as they are with the MC bringing Cove into things.
What do the customizable eyes look like in the game? Do they look as they are in the creating avatar section? Or do they look different when actually playing the game?
Thatâs up to you! The doll is just meant to be a general idea. You can apply it to your imagined MC as much or as little as you prefer.
Did Cove go through a "phase" during his adolescence? I don't really wanna headcanon it so I wonder if there's anything (cringy) canon since we missed out on the ages of 14-17 hahaha
Not really, aha. 14-17 Cove is pretty recognizable to his 13 and 18 year old self.
Hello! I'm sorry to bother you, especially with all the messages you get. I was just wondering if the religious wedding venue was exclusive to a church or if there will be different religions of weddings? Also, I love this VN so much, it's so well written and every character is so amazing, thank you for making such a beautiful game.
The church is treated as a historic building rather than anything actively religious, but itâs not the only option like that. Thereâs a historic synagogue and stuff too! And thatâs really nice of you to say <3.
How differently would it play out If MC told their moms about the 20$ deal back when it happened?Â
They wouldnât have been happy and wouldâve been far more skeptical of Cliff, aha. But they wouldnât want to keep Cove away from the MC, so it wouldnât have been too different in the long run. Â
Hello may I ask what Cove's favorite fudge/ice cream flavor would be? Its alright if its not answeredÂ
He appreciates them all, but his top favorites would be the fruit flavored ones and the ones with nuts.
Hi! I really wanted to make mc's house in a game and tried really hard to figure out the floor plan, but I wondered if you have the floor plan of the mc's house so that i can try again with more accuracy?
Thank you a lot for this game, i loved it a lot! (my first play took me 8 hours lol)
Iâm really sorry, we donât have anything like that. But at least you can headcanon that what you did is correct and nothing can prove it wrong, haha.
Hello,I recently started playing lake of voices (I put it off for a long while since Iâm usually not very good with horror) and Iâm really happy I did!Iâm a big fan of your games in general and lake of voices was absolutely great as well.I loved the characters and the dark setting of it,I adored the beautiful art and music and the story was great too,sometimes unsettling and sometimes very sweet.My favorite Route in the game was definitely Lu,I liked his character and was really shocked and distraught by his Route at least two times.I didnât see the plot twist(s) coming at all!
Besides these ramblings Iâve also wanted to ask if you still remember how to get the lower two CGs on page 5?I seem to always miss them and would appreciate any help.Anyways I hope I wasnât too much of a bother and I wish the devs a great day!:)
Thank you for all the kind words <3. You get those DLCs by going through the end of the Guideâs character path. You can use the guides on Steam to help you find it/reach the end!
ââ ââ ââ ââ
Thank you again for all of these questions :D
We released a new FAQ! It answers common questions and weâll keep adding more to it. Please check there before sending an ask. FAQ Â Also, if you prefer to just see the main posts without all the asks/reblogs, feel free to follow our side account instead: GB Patch Updates Blog
#our life#xoxo droplets#lake of voices#ask#Our Life Beginnings & Always#ourlifeba#gb patch#gb patch games
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Postmarked In The Past
Spencer Reid x Female Single Mom Reader
Summary: After sixteen years of no contact Reader reconnects with Spencer because she has to reveal the secret sheâs been keeping since she stopped sending letters to him.
A/N: Hey heyyy! This is my sixteenth fic (itâs actually was totally unintentional to choose the 16th for this fic even though the daughter is 16 in this fic lol đ) for my 30 fics in 30 days for April!! This one is based off of this request and is part of my unlinked Spencer Reid & Letters series! Thanks for all the love and support lately- I was going to put out my plan for my 1500 follower celebration yesterday or today but if you saw my post Iâve been struggling so itâll probably come on the 19th or the 20th. Submit an ask here- I love hearing from everyone đĽ°Thanks for reading and hope yâall enjoy đĽ°
Warnings: Reader keeps a huge secret she definitely shouldnât have, Reader is a single mother-the daughter doesnât have a specified name but she is specified to be 16, Reader is very defensive when her daughter finds the letters, mentions of a one night stand
Main Masterlist Word Count: 2.5k
Spencer had been a bright spot in my life, one that had been snuffed out all because of me. When I had found myself pregnant with his child, after I had visited him once, I bolted. For a long time I justified my actions, saying to myself that it was better that Spencer was unburdened while his career was just starting out. But, deep down I knew how wonderful Spencer would have been as a father, how he would have moved heaven and earth to make everything work. And, that guilt haunted me.
The memories I had of him were so far in between, every moment with him had been so fleeting at the end. I struggled to sometimes even remember how he looked as it had been sixteen years since I last laid eyes on him.
I had to strain my memory to remember the way his gelled hair curled around his ears and how sometimes I saw him let the curls free only around me. His eyes had been brown, I could remember that. But, pinpointing what shade they were when they glinted in the light or were drenched in the shadows was lost to me. I knew he had been tall and lanky, his hands reflecting that with how spindly they were. To remember how those fingers had felt on my skin, or how his lips had marked me, or how he would gently stroke my hair was too difficult. Whether it was because I couldnât remember or that I didnât want to, it was just too hard for me to want to try to strain my memory anymore.
The labor had been the most difficult thing I had gone through, no one had been there to hold my hand. And, I didnât really want anybody else except Spencer holding it. I had gritted my teeth and accepted it, pushing through the physical and emotional pain, especially since the pain of losing Spencer had been entirely because of me. I had been given a beautiful baby daughter that day and it was then that I started to force myself to forget Spencer, she looked too much like him to be able to bear.
The only things that remained in my life that involved him were the letters I sent to him in the last year of our relationship while we were long distance and my daughter. The letters were able to be shoved in a box at the bottom of a closet, but my daughter confronted me with my actions everyday by existing. I loved my daughter very much, I just tried to avoid the topic of her father by concocting a lie and making myself forget all of Spencerâs features so I wouldnât see them as much in her. My nightmare would be the two things converging to confront me with my guilt, I donât think I could handle that.
â-
At the kitchen table I saw my daughter, holding a letter. Her holding a letter wasnât at its core a bad thing of course, but I could tell by the slight yellowing of the paper that it was getting old. Immediately panic spread through me; there were no other old letters sheâd be looking at besides mine, the ones I sent to Spencer.
âThose are private.â I snapped defensively, definitely too hostile to be reasonable. It was obvious by my tone of voice that I was hiding something.
âPrivate?!â She yelled, giving away that she had already read at least a few of them. I clenched my eyes shut to prepare for her question, âAre these from my father?! Who you said was a one night stand?!â I vividly remember explaining the lie I had concocted for her, her being confused why I would only be with her father once. It was a hard subject to dance around, a difficult lie for me and her to swallow. But, the alternative was too painful for me to be honest with her, or honest with Spencer. And, I knew it made me selfish, at the time it had been so Spencer wouldnât stop his blossoming career. With time I realized that I really had done it because I had been scared. The guilt had started to sting worse when I realized that.
I had been caught, there was no weaseling out of this. I hanged my head in defeat, finally admitting to the large lie I had even roped the rest of my family in, âYes.â
If she had been a dragon sheâd be breathing fire on me while she spoke, âAnd why would you keep this from me! Did he do something bad or something?! Is that why you didnât tell me?!â
âNo-I-â I stammered a few times until I found the words, âI- I did it because I didnât want to hold him back⌠We were so young, and I knew heâd quit his new job across the country to come back to me.â Keeping the details still vague was my only armor right now. I kept to myself how those letters were the way we communicated for months when he started in the academy. We were only able to meet up once a month, and one month I unexpectedly fell pregnant. I never sent another letter or came to visit him again once I found out.
She clenched her jaw at me, looking back down at the scores of letters that we had written, and I had hidden. Her next question now made me clench my jaw, âC-can I see him? Or call him? Or send him a letter?â If you donât know how to contact him anymore Iâm sure we can-â
I was nervous as to where this was going. There was no way I could contact Spencer again after all these years, the guilt already ate at me everyday. Seeing and remembering his face would only make it worse. Fear was fueling me and I cut her off because of it, âNo- I- I donât think itâs a good idea...I just need more time- until Iâm ready.â I started to shrink away from her, my authority slipping through my fingers as I became more and more vulnerable.
âYouâve waited sixteen years, youâll never be ready.â The spite in her voice was stinging, she wasnât completely wrong in her statement.. And when I didnât answer she then stormed away, slamming the door to her room.
ââ
Our relationship in the few weeks following was strained at best, estranged at worse. She barely spoke to me since then, the biggest conversation we had was about what was for dinner- and that had been about two sentences long.
I was slowly coming around to the idea of perhaps finding a way for her and Spencer to reconnect. The guilt that I had been so afraid of becoming worse if I confronted it head on, only grew worse by avoiding it. I was actually going to talk to her after I got home from work, until I realized what she did.
She left her own letter on the table titled Dear Mom, detailing where she was going without giving any specifics. There was one part that gave her reasoning for writing her plan down, she didnât want me to have a heart attack even if she was mad at me. Plus there were a few sentences about how she had used her own money that she had been saving up, which was supposed to be for college only serving to make you even more frustrated. At the bottom she wrote- Iâm going to find my Dad, please donât follow me or call the police.
I scoffed to myself, wondering if she expected her warning to not to follow her to be followed. Of course I was going to follow her, there was no way I was going to just let her go off on her own like that.
It wouldnât be too hard to find her. Spencer may have changed apartments since then, but one quick google search of news articles he was mentioned in showed me that he still worked at the BAU in Quantico. It was probably a safe bet that my daughter did the same thing and was planning on visiting him at his office.
The plane ride there had been tumultuous, not in the sense that there was any chaotic occurrence or severe turbulence on the plan, more like in my mind. My hands shook, my foot tapped, and my mind raced while I took the long flight from Las Vegas all the way to Quantico. My mind went round in circles whether or not I viewed Spencer meeting my daughter- our daughter as a good thing. It was difficult to accept that even though theyâd both most likely be mad at me, they deserved to meet. Especially since I knew how good of a father Spencer could potentially be. Once I had landed I didnât stop, getting a cab straight from the airport to where the BAU offices were located.
The building looked daunting in front of me. It wasnât a skyscraper by any means, but the task that I was here to do was so big it felt like one as I stared at it while trying to work up the courage to go in. The guilt however, was too hard to ignore.
My mind was on autopilot as I told the secretary at one of the front desks. It was too stressful to focus on worrying, so exhausted from the emotional roller coaster I was riding. An agent had assured me that she was safe which made some of the stress melt from my shoulders luckily.
âHere she is.â The agent gestured to the office, empty of any other person except my daughter. I felt even more relieved now that I saw her with my own eyes.
When I entered she waited a second before speaking timidly with disappointment, âHeâs not here, he's on a case.â Her demeanor had deflated almost immediately as she saw me escorted up.
âWho told you that?â My arms crossed around my chest, nervous and furious all at once. I didnât need to tell my daughter how in trouble she was, by the pout on her face she knew sheâd be getting grounded for a long time even if I did let her talk to him.
âThis nice lady named Garcia, she works with him. But, she did tell me I had to wait for you until she called himâ For the first time since I had read her letter to me I cracked a smile. When we had still been communicating, Spencer often wrote and spoke about his teammates. Besides a fleeting photo of the team shown to me by him while I had been over here visiting, all my perceptions of the team and how they might look were all based on my imagination.
Despite that, when a vibrantly dressed woman clicked her heels into the room, I knew it was her. Spencer had perfectly described her, shining bright compared to the dull colors of the bureauâs office.
âSo your Spencerâs baby mama.â Yep, she was definitely as blunt and beautiful as Spencer had described. I blanched at her comment, though I didnât deny it, which was all she needed to know to confirm.
âCan you give me his number?â I skittered past the question, not wanting to confirm it out loud.
She beamed brightly at me, already starting to punch in the numbers with the phone on the desk in front of me. âYou can call him now if you want on this phone, they just stopped working for the day.â
When she handed me the phone, it had already started ringing. I couldnât help but panic, almost refusing the phone until my daughter nudged me forward to grab it. My finger trembled severely as I wrapped my hands around the phone, but I still managed to hold on to bring it up to my ear just as someone picked up the phone.
âHello?â It was him, he sounded so similar to the boy you knew, that boy was a man now. He sounded more haggard compared to sixteen years ago; I wondered what all had happened since then.
âHey- Spencer itâs me.â By the hitch in his voice that came through the speaker, he knew who it was.
At first I heard nothing from him, only some rustled feedback in the speaker. My shoulders were practically at my ears now afraid he might hang up. He did eventually stumble out a greeting, âH-hi? Why are you calling me after all these years- aaand on a phone at my work?â
âIâve got to be honest with you,â I cryptically answered with an evident shake in my voice. I was biting my nails now, not caring if I chipped the polish on them. My daughter grabbed my hand to comfort me even though she was probably still furious at me which helped coax out my next statement, âcause I havenât told you why I stopped talking to youâŚâ I breathed in deeply once before I finally admitted the secret I had held for so many years, âSpencer, you have a daughter, she just turned sixteen.â
Dead silence was all I got, that was until I heard a choked out sob from him, âWhy?â
He didnât need to elaborate any further, it was quite clear what he was asking. Again another meek shaky reply came from me, âThere were a lot of reasons- the main one was I didnât want to hold you back.â
My daughter was now crying as was I, I hadnât given her my reasoning until now. Maybe one day Iâd give Spencer all the reasons why I had hidden it from him for so many years even though it was painful. I had held a lot of guilt about not ever contacting him again or even sending another letter. Spencer deserved to know everything, especially about his daughter who was the spitting image of him in almost every way.
âCan I talk to her?â I agreed, which seemed to surprise my daughter. I think she thought Iâd be furious enough with her to not let her speak to him. She would still be getting many privileges taken away from her, just not this one as it was my fault she never knew her father in the first place. My fingers shook even more as I moved to click the speaker button so he could hear her speak.
âHi- dad.â They spoke for a while, while I took the back seat, barely interjecting. They both deserved every ounce of father and daughter time that I had deprived them from throughout the years. My chest did feel lighter now that I had told him, now that my daughter was getting the chance to know him. Hearing them laugh and giggle with each other almost immediately only cemented how much she was her fatherâs daughter.
When the phone was handed back to me, after seemingly hours of talking (Garcia had even popped in a few times to get me more coffee) Spencer asked,âCan you stay in Quantico till I get back?â
I smiled, happy that Iâd finally be able to see and remember his face again after all this time, âWeâll be here waiting, itâs time you meet your daughter in person.â
Ask Me Anything
â
Tag lists (fill out this form to join): If your url has a strike through it means tumblr wonât let me tag you- check in your settings if you allow yourself to be searchable
All works: @shotarosleftpinky @oreogutz @90spumkin @kyra-morningstar @s1utformgg @boxofsparklingmuses @multixfandomwriter @takeyourleap-of-faith
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#spencer reid#spencer reid angst#spencer reid x reader#matthew gray gubler x reader#matthew gray gubler#matthew gray gubler fluff#mgg#mgg x reader#criminal minds#criminal minds x reader#30 fics in 30 days
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Never Grow Up - Dad!Owen x Pregnant!Female Reader
Request: none
Word Count: 965 words (sheâs a short one, sorry!)Â
Summary: part 4 of the Dad!Owen series, Baby Joyner decides to make an early entrance into the worldÂ
Warnings: swearing, implied childbirth (obviously)Â
A/N: sheâs here!!! sorry i kinda abandoned this series, i was trying to write something and it just wasnât working so i eventually scrapped it and wrote this in less than two hours lol (so if itâs shit, thats why)Â i hope you all like her name, this was the most voted for first name, getting 15/40 of the votes (runners up were theo with 12 votes, mia with 11 votes and aurora with 8 votes) next part will be the cast coming to meet baby joyner enjoy!!Â
Tag List: @happinessinthedarkesttimes @littlemissaddict @vicesvsvirtuesfanfic @headheartbellarke @lovesanimals @bartok-the-magnificent @juliefromaustralia @multi-universe21 @rangerelik @kaitieskidmore1 @katrina765 @fandomxreadersâ @ifilwtmfcÂ
You woke up feeling weirdly uncomfortable, an odd pain in your stomach. You gasped at the pain, grabbing your phone to see what time it was.Â
2:37am.Â
The sharp pain came again and you winced.Â
âOwen.â You spoke, shaking your sleeping boyfriend. He groaned, blinking sleepily.Â
âWhatâs up baby?â He mumbled, his voice thick with sleep.Â
âI think somethingâs wrong with the baby.â You said. Owen shot up, suddenly wide awake.Â
âWhat do you mean thereâs something wrong?â He questioned. Another pain shook you and you tensed up until it passed.Â
âI just woke up and felt really gross, and Iâm having these pains.â You explained. âMaybe I just need to go to the bathroom.âÂ
âWant some help?â Owen asked, already jumping out of the bed to make it to your side. He helped you out of the bed, frowning once you were stood up.Â
âDid you wet the bed?â He said, and you looked down at the bed where you had been sat. Sure enough there was a large wet patch.Â
âI donât think so.â You replied, looking back up at him. All of the sudden panic appeared on his face.Â
âOh fuck.â He exclaimed.Â
âWhat?â You asked quickly, your tone matching the panicked look he was giving you.Â
âYouâre in labour.â He stated, beginning to pace back and forth around his room.Â
âIâm what?â Your eyes widened.Â
âFuck, weâre not ready, why is she so early?â He muttered to himself, clearly freaking out.Â
âO.â You said, trying to get his attention.Â
âThe nursery isnât even painted, we donât have a name yet.â He continued, clearly not hearing you.Â
âOwen.â You tried again.Â
âWe were meant to have another three weeks to prepare. What if thereâs something wrong with her cause sheâs born early?â By this point he had almost escalated into a full blown panic attack.��
âOwen!â You shouted, and he froze, looking at you. Behind you the door opened and Owenâs mum poked her head in.Â
âEverything okay?â She asked, taking in the scene.Â
âIâm in labour and heâs too busy freaking out to help me.â You glared at your boyfriend who had resumed his pacing.Â
âYouâre in labour?â She repeated, and you nodded, feeling the pain come again, a pain that you now realised was contractions. You gripped onto the bed, waiting out the contraction before speaking.Â
âCan you drive us to the hospital?âÂ
-Â
You didnât even remember the car ride to the hospital, too focused on breathing and trying not to freak out.
You were so thankful that your mother had decided to come down to Oklahoma to help you and Owen set up your new apartment, and even more thankful that Owenâs family had let her stay with them while she was visiting, because now she would be there for the birth of her first grandchild.Â
You arrived at the hospital and the four of you piled out of the car, Owenâs mother rushing ahead to get a nurse while your mum and Owen helped you inside.Â
Once you entered the building you were rushed onto a bed and into a room, Owen and both of your mothers following closely behind. Once you were in the room and changed into a hospital gown a doctor entered the room.Â
âHi Y/N, my name is Doctor Henry, Iâll be delivering your little bub today. Do you mind if I do a few quick checks?â She said, and you nodded.Â
âGo ahead.â You told her and she smiled. She went through all of the different checks, smiling once she stood back up.Â
âDo you want some good news?â She questioned, and you nodded.Â
âYouâre ready to push.â She told you. Your eyes widened.Â
âAlready? Isnât this supposed to take forever?â You gasped and she laughed.Â
âNot always.â She glanced around the room. âAre you all staying for the birth?âÂ
âItâs up to you darling.â Your mum said. Owenâs mum nodded in agreement.Â
âStay.â You told them. âI want both of you here. This is your first grandchild and you should be here for her arrival.âÂ
âWhat about me?â Owen pouted.Â
âObviously.â You rolled your eyes.
âItâs settled then. If youâre ready Iâm gonna get you to give a big push when you get your next contraction, okay?â Doctor Henry said. You took a deep breath, grabbing onto Owenâs hand.Â
âIâm ready.âÂ
-Â
At 4:02am on the 16th of July 2020, three days before her fatherâs 20th birthday, your little girl decided to make her entrance into the world, screaming at the top of her little lungs.Â
âHere you go, a perfectly healthy little girl.â A nurse said, placing the tiny baby on your chest once she had been cleaned up and wrapped in a soft blanket. You looked down at her in awe, tears streaming down your face.Â
You looked up at Owen, finding him already crying too.Â
âWe made that.â You said. He laughed, leaning down to kiss your head.Â
âWe did.â He replied, his large hand covering her tiny back.Â
âDo you want to hold her?â You asked him. He hesitated before nodding.Â
âYes please.âÂ
You lifted her gently, placing her into Owenâs arms, before sitting back to take in the look of love and adoration on his face. Out of the corner of your eye you could see both your mum and Owenâs mum taking photos of the interaction, but your whole focus was on your boyfriend and daughter in front of you.Â
âSheâs beautiful.â Owen whispered, his finger grazing her cheek as she slept peacefully in his arms.
âDo you have a name picked out?â The nurse from earlier asked with a smile. You glanced at Owen and by an unspoken agreement both of you knew which name you were going with.Â
âWe do. Olivia Charlotte Joyner.âÂ
#dad!owen#dad!owen series#owen joyner x reader#dad!owen x reader#owen joyner#owen patrick joyner#reader insert
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The Criminal Psychology Majors, Jason Todd x Fem!Reader Part 19/?
Word Count: 4.1k
Authorâs Note:
Warnings: Mentions of the court system, fighting, swearing, no beta bitch we die like Jason Todd
 Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7) (Part 8) (Part 9) (Part 10) (Part 11) (Part 12) (Part 13) (Part 14) (Part 15) (Part 16) (Part 17) (Part 18) (Part 19) (Part 20)
Time Skip lol, February, next year. Finals.
She and Jason had been together for 6 months around February. When finals started coming up. The distance and tension between the two was fucking palpable. They hadn't fought or anything, but the stress between them had caused a slight riff. They just had space to focus on their studies.
They would see each other at work. She was his secretary. Everyone, all their friends, even their families, swore they just needed to bone. Which, considering they both heard about this from Bruce first, didn't mean they wanted to do it.
If you had asked Y/N, she would have said she wasn't dressing for Jason. But that was a lie. She was tempted to go with the advice everyone was giving them, especially before they went into their first finals exam. She walked into his office.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
"Well, I'm your secretary. Seeing if you need anything."
"I don't."
She turned to walk out.
"That doesn't mean you can walk out."
She smiled to herself, "Alright." She sat on the chair in front of his desk, "I won't walk out."
"Mhm."
She frowned, he didn't even look up from his computer. "What do you want me here for, Jay?"
"Close the blinds on all my windows, baby."
"It'll become dark."
"Good."
"Your eyes will fry from the light of your computer."
"Trust me, they won't."
"Uh-huh," she doubted as she closed the blinds.
Jason walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, resting his head in the crook of her shoulder. She smiled and leaned her head on his.
"Exams fucking suck," Jason said.
"Couldn't have guessed from the riff in our relationship, really? You don't say?" she sarcastically retorted.
"It's not like we had it easy this entire time, either."
"Fuck you don't say? At least my attacker was admitted to Arkham and my friends got out."
"Can't catch a break," he paused because his buzzer went, "Can't catch a fucking break!" he exclaimed, exasperated. He went and answered it, "Jason Todd, who's using Y/N (Last Name)'s buzzer," he said, sounding annoyed.
"Hey, it's Dick. You two aren't fucking right, B will be pissed."
"Shut up. We aren't. What do you want."
"Someone's pissed. I need paperwork."
"Come and get it."
She crossed her arms and laughed when Dick entered the room. She slightly waved. He slightly waved back.
"You know, you two should bone. But not here," Dick joked. He walked over to one of the many, many filing cabinets to search for the paperwork he needed.
"You're really just riding the wave into Jason running you down, aren't you?" Y/N said.
"Well, we're always up for sparring."
"It probably won't be sparring, Dick. You know your brother. He's staring daggers into the back of your head."
"For Valentine's, I'll be giving Barbara the stress of taking care of me after Jason beats me to a pulp."
"At least you'll get one last Gala?" she joked.
"Will you be coming?"
"She will," Jason said.
"Amazing. Don't fuck on the dance floor," Dick joked.
"Fuck you."
"Love you too, Jase," he turned to walk out, "Love you too, Y/N."
"I'll be sure to tell you I love you at your funeral, Dick," she joked as he walked out. She paused before turning to Jason, "Gala?"
"Come, please," he said before going to hug her. "I miss you."
"You see me every day, Love."
"But we haven't been," he paused, "Well, a couple. In weeks. I miss you. The fun one who got me to run down the streets of Gotham on a skateboard."
"Dress code?"
"White tie."
"Dammnit. Guess I'm shopping."
"I'll give you my debit card?"
"I don't need it, baby. However," she joked, "I sure will take it."
He laughed and forked it over to her, "Don't spend my Ph.D. funds."
"I will gladly spend your Ph.D. funds."
"No," he laughed, "Please, I need those."
"I mean if you insist I spend it all," she said, laughing.
"The Gala's later tonight, you can take the rest of the day off."
"Kind of you to do."
"I know, I'm a gentleman."
"Truly," she kissed him. "I'll see you tonight."
"Can I come to get you?"
"Feel free too."
"Alright. I love you."
"I love you," she said before she left the office.
Getting into her car, she fumbled with the mirror a bit. She looked like a mom. The bags under her eyes and the formal get-up for an office job did her in.
They had said "I love you" for the first time around Christmas. She wished she caught the moment where they were fucking around and she just said it.
The Christmas lights surrounded them, hung in the trees. They had gone to see the New York City tree in Times Square. He was setting up a photo to take of the two of them and she just said it.
She could have sworn his fucking eyes lit up with green. Like they glowed.
Reminiscing on those small moments with Jason was something that would make her smile without fail. That man somehow unlocked a new set of feelings, stronger feelings. She was in touch with herself.
She went to her house first, to see how A/N was doing. To see her on the steps. She pulled into the driveway.
"Hey, you good?"
"Huh? Oh! Yeah, of course. Why?"
"I have to go get a dress for a Wayne Gala trademark, do you want to come to help me?"
"Of course I do!"
---------------------
"I guess you could say we didn't narrow shit down about a dress," Y/N joked as she came out in the 16th dress she had tried on.
"Okay, well, that one is the best so far," A/N said, seeming like they finally made progress.
"Wow, this is news, we've narrowed it down."
"Honestly consider it a miracle. Thank God Jason let you go from work early. Are you getting a full day's pay?" A/N asked.
"Probably. I told Bruce I didn't want a full day's pay if I wasn't there, but Bruce said it was in my contract. I think he's just being generous," Y/N said with a sigh.
"Did you not read your contract?"
"I did! That's why I think he's being generous. I don't think I'd forget something like that."
"Watch you did forget those words. You should ask him to see your contract, if he's disobeying it then the board members are probably at his ass about it," A/N explained.
"God, please no. I would hate being a contention point for the board members."
"They probably want you fired. And they're probably mad that you won't be fired because you're with Jason."
"Well, I'm also just a great secretary"
"See, each time you say that I assume it's because you give him a little something-something under his desk every day."
"I'll have you know we've never had sex in that office."
"Did you have sex in another office?" A/N questioned.
"I'm pleading the 5th to any further questioning."
"Wait, oh my god."
"Nope! Going to go try on another dress and ignore you now!" Y/N exclaimed with a joking tone.
"This one's the best," A/N said.
"We're making progress! I'm thinking if I go with this one, I add gloves."
"God, are you trying to give Jason a hard-on?"A/N joked.
"I would like to plead the 5th to any further questioning on the matter," Y/N retorted.
"You're evil. If you're going to be evil, you might as well wear a suit."
"I wish. After all the shit I've been through, I want to stick it to the fucks who keep judging me. I'm already so jeopardized, though. Jason goes through a lot of shit dating me. I'll wear the dress."
"Old white people are old white people."
"Well, Bruce is nice at least. If he's judgemental, at least I don't hear about it on the news," Y/N said and twirled. "Yeah, this one. I like this one."
"I also like that one. There's something about silk. Always gets someone to look like 50 million dollars. Probably worth that too."
Y/N fumbled with the tag, "It's not pure silk, so it's less. Only 1000$."
"Only 1000$? God, that's like our rent."
"Rent is more."
"Well if we weren't in a house it would be the same. That's insane. That's like 3-4 months of groceries."
"I know it's a lot to us commonfolk, but Jason is rich. He wouldn't mind. We might, but he wouldn't."
"Yeah, but do you feel okay with spending that much of his money?"
"I have no idea. We'll see. I'll go try another dress on."
"This is cute," Y/N said.
"Well of course it is, it's probably worth your college scholarship, though."
"God, don't remind me of prices."
"It's hard to forget prices when we're given a lot of money to spend."
"We can't spend all of it!"
"What's he using it for?" A/N asked in a half-joke.
"He's getting a Ph.D. in Criminal Psychology when we graduate."
"Okay, okay. So he needs it."
"Yeah, he doesn't let Bruce pay his bills, remember. He's making his own money, minus the working-for-his-dad part."
"Yeah, the working for Bruce part seems a bit counterintuitive."
"If he's getting paid, it doesn't matter to him."
"What's it even like working with his family? Especially with the tension between you and Jason?"
"It sucks. Jason and I haven't fought, yet. We have to act like we aren't fighting. Which makes everyone think we are fighting. Which makes both of us mad. Because apparently," she paused, "The way to fix fighting is having sex, apparently."
"So have sex?"
"Shut up."
"Family on your nerves?" A/N asked.
"They're so involved, but I love them all. I just wish we had a moment alone, I know it's hard to do in a fucking office, but still."
"Go try on another dress. Show up looking like a million bucks."
"You are simply so right."
"I feel like this is the mature version of the black sparkly spaghetti straps one," A/N said.
"It's like you mashed a bunch of words together and suddenly I have to sell you my first-born son."
"Well, it's true!" She laughed, "It's a grown-up version, what someone, old white people, would expect of you."
"Old white people expect a lot."
"Jason's going to be one, one day," A/N joked.
"He's got not-white features," Y/N said, trying to picture his face. There was something about him. Something not-white. She had always picked up on it, but she could never tell what it was.
"Well, it's not like you can ask his mom her ethnicity."
"Jeez, that would be so rude of me to do. Let's just say it's... it's not my place."
"He's got secrets?" A/N questioned.
"Tall, handsome, mysterious. That's my Jason."
"A little bit of everything, all of the time," A/N said in a sing-song tune, specifically the "Welcome to the Internet" tune.
"Don't quote Bo Burnham to me, that album broke me," Y/N joked
"Who didn't it break? Oh, wait, probably Jason."
"He probably sobbed like a baby at it, I don't know where you got the "Emotionless" trope from, A/N."
"Can you blame me? He's a Wayne."
"Those are some of the most emotionally connected people I know? Like, genuinely, they're probably more in touch with themselves than you and I."
"Well, they don't exactly have the reputation for being able to discern their emotions, you know."
"You need to stop interacting with tabloids and their articles," Y/N said, seeming exasperated with the tabloids and the line of conversation. But that was nothing new. She hated the press, the articles, the paparazzi. She hated them all.
"Yeah, probably. You hate them for a reason."
"Do you not know about that time they made it so we couldn't get into our car?" Y/N asked.
"You did, you did."
"Fuckin' tabloids."
"Go try on another dress before you explode from rage."
"Valid," Y/N said, laughing.
"God, if only this wasn't a white tie event," Y/N said and sighed.
"I mean, you could just wear it."
"I will get my ass handed to me, however," she said, taking a picture, "Maybe Jason will just let me get it if I pay him back?"
"You don't have the money right now?" A/N asked.
"I need to get paid and I'll have enough," Y/N explained.
"Don't tell me this is worth more than our rent."
"I will just simply not tell you."
"Girl, you can't."
"Money is dumb and I hate it."
A/N laughed, "Which one do you want to go with?"
"Uh, probably the silk one."
"Temptress."
"I will literally buy and wear a corset to make Jason's life hard to get you off my back," Y/N laughed.
"I implore you to do so for the joke."
"Shut up," Y/N joked.
She still sent the picture of the last dress to Jason off-handedly. Asked him how he felt about it since she knew she loved it.
Why don't you just get it? He had sent back.
Can't afford it.
I can.
Please let me pay you back for this.
Just take me on a date.
I can do that.
You should.
I'll see you soon.
She laughed and grabbed both dresses.
"Jason's buying both?" A/N asked.
"Mhm! I have to take him on a fun date in return."
"You were probably going to do it both ways, honestly."
"You just know me so well."
-----------------------
They had gone and gotten the gloves before heading back to their house. Laughing and blasting rock songs the entire time. There was something about the bass running through the car and having the windows rolled down while screaming the songs. It was insane.
One of the songs they blasted was "I Think I'm OKAY" by Machine Gun Kelly and YUNGBLUD, switching out the vocals. It was fun to take breaks like that and, just enjoy each other's presence. Especially during finals season, where both of them were stressed because of their respective finals.
Everyone was stressed. Finals did that to everyone. Whether someone was in school or not, they felt the teenagers and college students lose their minds about it.
They got out of the car at their home and took the dresses inside. A/N went to go study in her room while Y/N went to go hang up her dresses. She entered her room and instantly remembered why she hated her laptop.
The laptop fan was deafening, it's why she barely had Jason over at her house anymore. She cleaned it constantly but, it kept going and going.
She brought it to the Wayne Manor over the Winter Break because she had work to do but wanted to see Jason, and everyone, everyone, commented on the thing.
They compared it to a screaming goat, an electronic mess, a horse-powered fan, anything they could put together with electronic, goat and fan, they called the laptop that.
Bruce even offered to buy her a new one, but she declined. She didn't think it was broken, so it didn't need to be replaced or fixed. If it was still in working condition, she was going to use it until it bluescreened on her.
Much to everyone's dismay.
She hated the fucking thing. So if she could drown it out with music, you bet your ass she did. She was grateful that her parents had sent it to her, but she assumed it was because they hated it too. She was right. No one liked that laptop.
She went to go shower. She figured if she fucked with her appearance and hair a bit, then the press would get off her back. She hadn't exactly tried to impress them thus far. But she wanted to just live her life.
She figured doing her hair, makeup, wearing the right clothes, she'd get harassed less. There was a lot of pressure dating a Wayne, she had realized.
She was constantly in the media, somehow she became an idol for little girls in the span of months. It was a lot for someone to take on. She embraced it normally. With open arms normally.
But A/N had told her that she started sleep-talking. Screaming about the eyes, the people watching her. She knew it was probably connected to the stress she was under dating Jason, but she really didn't want to deal with it.
If she ignored it, no one could tell her to deal with it. If she hid it, no one had to see it. She was looking into soundproofing her room so that A/N didn't have to see it.
Was it healthy to do that? Probably not. Probably far from the concept of healthy coping mechanisms.
She got out of the shower and started playing with her appearance. If she ended up with loud makeup and hair after this, she was going to just accept it.
She did end up with pretty loud eyeshadow. But her hair was fine, as acceptable as it could get for everyone judging her. Only nude lipstick that was just two, maybe three shades darker than her skin was what she needed. She kind of overdid the eyeshadow, so it had to be balanced.
Nerves by Icon for Hire was playing in her room. And in a way, that was how she felt. There was a lot of feeling in her, that she wasn't made for the life she was starting to lead. That being an idol was how she was going, but she couldn't do it.
She sighed and put on heels. White heels. It would be easier to put them on before the dress and gloves. The corset came on next. IT wasn't anything special, and she was capable of putting it on without help.
But then the dress.
"She loved that dress, but it wasn't the other one. The other one sparked a little bit of joy in her, while this one just conformed to everyone's opinions of her.
She wanted to wear the other one, so, so, fucking badly.
And finally the gloves. It was an outfit she thought was cute but would be torn to shreds in the media. She knew that.
The media liked to eat her alive.
Part of her wanted a break from it all. The other part wanted to do an interview with the press, to shit-talk all of them and make them weep. She wanted to be the one to destroy them.
Revenge was best served cold though, and the rage was far too hot in her head to even begin a proper essay on why they sucked.
She turned off the music in her room and was greeted with the lovely sounds of her computer fan. Comforting, but hatred.
Jason was going to be there any minute. Was she even ready for a Gala?
They had been through so much.
---------------------------------
She walked to his car. He brought one of the fancy ones.
"You couldn't just like, own a not expensive car?" she joked.
"Why would I do that?"
She laughed and handed him his debit card, "I don't know, to keep the press off your ass?"
"I think they'd find us no matter what," he said as he backed out of her driveway, "You look beautiful by the way."
"Thank you, Love. You're as handsome as always."
"Simp."
"Alas, I admit it," she joked as she turned on the radio. "I swear the media is going to have a field day today."
"When do they not?"
"That's fair."
"I'm sorry this school year's been fucking our relationship," he sighed, "We deserve better and a better chance than what we've been dealt."
"Unfortunately that's how school works."
"Fuck school sometimes. Not everyone gets as hit as badly as us."
"It's the psychology teachers. If any teachers are strict, they are."
"We still deserve a break."
"Well, there's always when finals are over."
"I swear we're doing something nice when finals end."
"That's not that hard to do."
The tension in that car was palpable. Truly, you could cut that with a knife. A diamond's edge.
They got to the Gala before anyone, except the Waynes.
"Hey lot," Y/N said.
"Y/N! Glad you could make it!" Stephanie said and pulled her into a hug, "The guys suck, so I like you the most today."
She laughed, "What did they do?"
"They won't play rooftop tag with me."
"Why do you even play that game?" Y/N asked.
"Agility! I'm a track star, duh. I drag them with me."
"Ah, how could I be so foolish," she laughed as Stephanie pulled her towards the other girls. Y/N waved at the boys while laughing. "You do know I have a boyfriend who wants to see me, right?"
"It's Jason."
"Good observation."
"Shut up. I claim you."
"You can't claim me!" she jokingly exclaimed, loud enough for the boys to hear.
"Steph, that's my girlfriend!" Jason yelled back.
"Not anymore!" She yelled as she pulled Y/N into the building.
"Explanation?" Y/N asked, "Do you have an issue or something?"
"I don't. Babs does."
"Go on?"
"Ask her."
Y/N sighed and walked up to Barbara and Cassandra, "I heard you have an issue or something?"
"Yes! You! Okay so," Barbara said, "We're all worried about you and Jason."
"Oh, Jeez," Y/N sighed.
"No no, listen. We can feel the tension. Have you been fighting?"
"I told you before, we aren't."
"Then what is it? 'Cause I'm known for being a detective, hello, I'm Jim Gordon's daughter. And even I can't figure it out."
"Probably exams. Exams suck."
"Oh! It's because you're not used to the fame," Cassandra said.
"Okay, Cassie. Listen, it's-"
"It is isn't it!" Stephanie exclaimed.
"Ugh. Yes. Are you happy now?"
"C'mon, it isn't that bad is it?" Barbara asked.
"It is. They've been at my throat with daggers ever since I met Jason."
"Who's been at your throat with daggers?" Jason asked.
"Don't worry about it," Y/N said before anyone could open their mouths and say to the contrary.
"Well, then. Everyone should be here soon," Bruce said. "Wish we had entertainment this time."
"Can't Y/N sing?" Tim asked.
"Uh, yeah?" Y/N said.
"So sing," Tim said.
"Tim. C'mon. Don't do me like this, man."
"Think about it," Bruce said and put a hand on her shoulder, "It could be fun."
She laughed and everyone scattered except her and Jason.
"So, the daggers comment?" he asked.
"Media reference."
He sighed, "You can always step out of the spotlight, my love. Step down, walk away from their eyes but still be in mine."
"I'll think about it."
He took her hands, "You should think quicker," he joked.
She laughed and he pulled her into the ballroom she knew all-too-well at this point. The first time she was there ran through her mind like no one was watching, the beauty in her memory for capturing it like that.
She knew once the pictures were released she'd probably attempt to paint it.
Galas were stuffy and full of people. She didn't like the people aspect. When strangers would come up to her and start talking, she'd get freaked out. They knew her, but she didn't know them.
She wasn't involved in getting to know people high-up in the world. She was a simple secretary who was dating one of the CEOs.
She'd get twirled around by people's sons. Stuck in dances and conversations. She almost always found herself with one of the Waynes after she ran from someone she didn't know.
She did figure if she sang she'd get away from everyone. So, in a fit of trying to get away, she found her way to Selina.
"Hey!" she said.
"Y/N! Are you running again?"
"Yes ma'am."
"Do you want to sing or something, Bruce said he asked you to."
"He did, and I figured, "Fuck it" so here I am."
Jason came up just as she said that, "Duet?" he asked.
"Now that's an idea and a half."
"You kids, always doing crazy stuff," Selina joked, "Le me see what I can do for 'ya."
"We're really doing this?" Jason asked as Selina slinked off.
"I guess so!" she exclaimed and he pulled her in for a kiss.
"Really saying "Fuck you" to the press today, huh?"
"Well, they're always saying "Fuck you" to me."
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