#mystery? I guess??

[the-simple-diamond-gall]

—I had a weird dream last night —

It was about me watching YouTube (Markiplier to be exact) and he made this video called “Eating my Christmas tree”

The video started with a POV shot of Mark showing off the tree. There is no commentary, just the camera moving around to show the audience from a few different angles. It was a real wood tree with absolutely NO decorations, NO lights, no nothin’

The room that the tree was in was not decorated for the holidays either… in fact it had no furniture, or windows. There was only an unlit fireplace in the background.

So The video was only showing the small tree in this empty room.

anyway, Markiplier put the camera down and walked into view to stand beside this “Christmas tree”. The tree is about a foot taller than him. There is still no commentary.

—-

At this point in the dream, I’m thinking to myself that this is going to be one of those experimental videos, like his “meow” video, or that time he just admired a banana for ten minutes.

But, no.

—-

Mark just plucks one of the smaller branches off the tree and… well…

It started with a nibble…

Than a tiny nom

Than a bigger nom-nom

And a full on Chomp

The crunch-crunch sounds are quite noisy

It is obvious that he likes the taste of the tree, so he eats more… and more

He rips off one of the lower branches and eats it like corn-on-the-cob. Except it was not corn, and he ate the entire cob.

He shoves the smaller twigs in his mouth, devouring them like Chips and liking the small evergreen needles off his fingers like Cheeto dust

He continues to ravenously consume the tree piece by piece

This continues until the tree is almost bald, with only a couple of green branches left.

And only then, does the tree respond…

The tree is pleased

So while Mark is down on one knee with his head tilted sideways biting the trunk of the tree, trying to chew his way through it, the tree begins to grow a long vine out of its peak. At the end of this vine grows a large fruit that looked like a bushel of grapes that has all fused together into a single lumpy mass.

Mark looks upon the trees gift with reverence in his eyes.

—-

At this point in the dream I’m thinking to myself “since when do evergreen trees have fruit? Or vines? That’s not a pine cone. How unrealistic”

—-

As I watch him open his mouth to eat the fruit, I half expect his jaw to unhinge and swallow it whole. But that doesn’t happen, although he certainly tries to do just that. He only manages to take one large bite, splitting open the flesh of the lumpy fruit causing its purple juice to drip down his chin. He grabs the vine to pull the fruit closer and goes in for another bite and…

The video ends.

—-

Well that was weird…

Anyway, nothing else really happened in that dream, and I woke up not long after.

As someone who doesn’t have dreams very often, or just immediately forgets them within 5 minutes of waking up, I think it’s weird-as-all-heck that I still remember this one well into the afternoon.

Maybe science side of tumblr could explain. lol idk

[pangloss-artee]

pacifica got the "cut hair to show character development" treatment bc i think she deserves it

[wombywoo]

retired 🩶

[sunburstsandmoonshadows]

woe. silly lil idea be upon you.

they are like muppets to me. so here they are as a doll and a puppet :)

[tawnysoup]

the fritter (frin critter)

[kaphkas]

Consider this… / Consider this the hint of the century / Consider this the slip that brought me to my knees

[a-scary-lack-of-common-sense]

There has been requests about getting a full body colour for Kook!Ford, so here he is, in all his beige, white, and brown minimalist glory <3 (THERE’S A REASON WHY HE HAS SUCH A BORING PALETTE I PROMISE)

Stupid colour rambles that are WAYY too in depth and probably mostly far fetched but this is my AU and I get to pick how much over-analysis goes into the characters’ colour schemes, fuck you:

Ford:

Characterised by pale, almost pastel-ish colours to emulate a sort of sick, unhealthy look.

The paler colours add to the illusion of Ford lacking presence, almost disappearing into the background, to convey how his existence often ignored or dismissed by most of the townsfolk.

Without any visually striking or contrasting colours in his palette itself, his own features blend into one another, blurring the details and diminishing any identifiable traits that would have typically identified him as Ford, or even a person (<- if that mindfuck of a sentence make any sense)

Hints of yellow to show remnants Bill's past influence on him. Because I’m dramatic like that.

Fiddleford:

Deep, rich forest greens with golden accents (influences of Bill appearing in his outfit) (I need to hammer Fidds out a lil’ more ngl)

Stanley:

Deep, rich blues and purples (opposite spectrum of yellow, aka. Bill's colour, which means = safety to Ford)

The inside lining of his jacket is vivid red, to reference his original colours palette and as a representation of his past self being hidden underneath the layers of his predominantly blue exterior, colours representative of his new identity (also red = warm and blue = cold)

His colours palette will eventually open up into something warmer on the outside, veering into purple.

Extra notes on his character: Stan (in this AU) is colder and quieter than his canon counterpart. After years of being in the mafia business, and years of running it as well, he has long since learned to mask his facial expressions and master the poker face (*cough cough* resting bitch face *cough cough*). But, his intimidating and serious air does not serve him any favours when it comes to literally anything other than his “work”, his inexperience when it comes to emotions all the more apparent with the twins. He has trouble expressing his feelings outwardly, and despises this part of himself, because it reminds him of his own father. He feels as though he is failing the twins by being too cold and distant, and tries his best to open up more.

Mabel:

Maintains her original colours palette with pink, but has more hints of red in her outfit, similar to Stan’s, particularly around her sleeves (allusion to “wearing your heart on your sleeves.” Yes, I know that it’s tacky)

The red shows she is more inclined to trust Stan, as she is willing to see past Stanley’s exterior facade of cold aloofness to see his “true” colours (good HEAVENS that is disgustingly cheesy to say but idk how else to really word this)

Extra notes on her character: Mabel trusts Stan fully. Perhaps a little too much. She I dolises Stan to an almost unhealthy degree, and is constantly plagued with the underlying fear of somehow losing Stan’s “interest”, as their mother seemed to have lost interest in her and Dipper. Deeply fears being abandoned again, and believes she “owes” Stan for having adopted them. She believes it is her fault that neither of their parents wanted the twins during the divorce.

Dipper:

Maintains original colour palette with blues, but pretty solidly lacks red in his outfit. He serves as the opposite spectrum of Mabel, instead being unwilling to fully trust Stan and takes him at face value.

Extra notes on his character: Dipper does not trust Stan, and is far more hyperaware of what kind of “business” their “uncle” runs. He is mostly worried about Mabel’s slight obsession with pleasing him, and fears that if they don’t behave, Stan might use his dangerous power and influence against them. He is convinced that Stan had ulterior motives to adopting them, cannot fathom what he, a seeming stranger with all the power in the world, could possibly hope to gain in adopting two abandoned children. Even more so, when even their parents didn’t seem to want them.

[cheekinpermission]

Read left -> right

First Pt / Next Pt

Asked to be tagged <3

@twistedcece @trixiegalaxy @the-ace-reader @blue-rae18 @sonicsponge03 @sabrina4400 @frootloopscos @m-o-z-e-s @techno-danger @rabioa @morganairy @umikoxdd @fantasticqueen @anastasia-426 @dustbnnuy @chidorichild @nightshade1217 @mysterypotatoink @chloemari-e @jihhyoo

[mooni]

callum: sobbing over the ashes of katolis

aaravos: hey guys look at my elfsonas

we're off to a strong start

[attleboy]

still in a bit of an art slump take a shitpost for all the people who wanted more buttonblossom with the teeth thing (you'll get something more serious soon i swear...)

based off this

[screwpinecaprice]

Actually cute. Had to do a quick redraw.

Screenshot is from when Jay lit up the Jack-o'-lantern in the living room.

[cowllies]

Farewell

[rosieleej]

It’s crazy that the twins are turning 25 today because at this moment probably Dipper has already finished his degree in engineering and is doing a masters and maybe a PHD, Mabel having finished hers in art. At this rate they’re old enough to drink, and drive, and vote and reflect on what-the-f happened to them as kids. Right now they’re probably celebrating their birthday in a small private party in the shack. Now the grunkles are 80 yrs and too old to sail at sea. Maybe now Greta is about to marry that duke; she’s as confident and beautiful as she’s ever been. Maybe Candy has some interesting stuff going on. Soos has a child with Melody, and the grandma has passed away, Waddles as well. Wendy is probably not working at the Mystery Shack ( she still cuts wood in her free time). The Weirdmagedon was so much time ago that all of Gravity Falls now can laugh about it. No one really talks about Bill, or the monsters, or the destruction, death and fear that came with them. For more than a decade the town has been at peace. For more than a decade Ford hasn’t feel like a freak. For more than a decade Stan has had what he had wanted for the most part of his life. For more than a decade the Pines twins, both sets, have been loved.

Mabel is now longer afraid of growing up. She already has, and she’s thriving. Dipper doesn’t fears he’s not good enough. Maybe their parents divorced, maybe they didn’t, but each year instead of going home in summer break from college they go to the same small town that opened their arms to them so so many years ago, and they feel like children again.

They. The children that taught me that growing up maybe is not so bad.

Happy Birthday indeed Mabel and Dipper Pines

[casualmonsterenjoyer]

So, I have no idea if anyone has already figured this out but I have just spent an unreasonable amount of time translating this part of the Soul Contract...just because

and like...

You are now twenty-one grams lighter

THIS CONTRACT IS LEGAL AND BINDING. WE RESERVE THE RIGHT TO USE YOUR LIKENESS, FACE, VOICE AND SMELL TOWN PLUCK IN WHATEVER NEFARIOUS MANNER IS DEEMED NECESSARY.

SANS SOUL, YOUR SOULMATE WILL NOT RECOGNIZE YOU AND WILL WALK RIGHT PAST YOU ON A COLD AUTUMN DAY. NEVER MAKING EYE CONTACT. NOT EVEN PROCESSING THAT YOU HAVE EYES AT ALL. NO AMOUNT OF INTERACTION WILL MOVE THEM TO A PLACE WHERE THEY CAN REMEMBER, IN FEELING, THE THOUSANDS OF LIFETIMES YOU HAVE ALREADY SPENT TOGETHER. EACH TIME CHOOSING THOUSANDS FORM WOULD KEEP YOU CLOSEST LIKE OTTERS HOLDING HANDS IN A TUMULTUOUS RIVER. YOU WERE BIRDS. YOU WERE TREES WITH ROOTS ENTANGLED, DRINKING IN THE SUNLIGHT TOGETHER.

WHEREVER WE GO NEXT, WHATEVER YOU CHOOSE, I WILL ALWAYS BE RIGHT THERE WITH YOU…THATS DONE, BUDDY. CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE CHOSEN BILL INSTEAD!

MCDONALDS RESERVES THE RIGHT TO PUT A GIANT YELLOW M ON YOUR TORSO AND FOREHEAD AND SEND YOU WALKING THROUGH A CROWDED TIMES SQUARE WHILE YOU SCREAM "THE FRIES! THE FRIES! THEY DON´T DEGRADE IN NATURE!!! IT´S AN IMMORTAL FOOD!!! THEY WILL BE IN THE LANDFILLS LONG PAST OUR DEATHS!" GOOD GOD! THE THINGS S I´VE SEEN!

ME? WHO AM I? OH I´M BILL´S PREVIOUS LAWYER! HE PUT MY SOUL INTO A QUILL PEN SO I CAN WRITE HIM LEGAL DOCUMENTS UNTIL THE SUN SNUFFS OUT LIKE A CANDLE IN THIS SICK UNIVERSE! I USED TO BE SO HOT! I WAS SO FINE! NOW I´M FINE PRINT!

SPEAKING OF WHICH, BILL RESERVES THE RIGHT TO PUT YOUR SOUL INTO AN INANIMATE OBJECT, A STRANGE CREATURE, A CONCEPT, A SENTENCE, A TASTEFUL BUT RUSTIC MASON JAR WITH WILDFLOWERS IN IT.

IF AT ANY POINT YOU WANT TO HAVE VISITATION RIGHTS WITH YOUR SOUL, YOU WILL BE SWIFTLY DENIED. UNLESS YOU HAD A COOL DAY PLANNED FOR THE BOTH OF YOU, THEN BILL MIGHT WANT TO COME ALONG.

BY SIGNING THIS DOCUMENT YOU FORFEIT ANY RIGHT TO EATING SOUL FOOD. IT WILL TURN TO ASH IN YOUR MOUTH, A FITTING PUNISHMENT FOR A FOOL WHO SQUANDERED THE ONLY TRUE GIFT LIFE OWES YOU.

BILL RESERVES THE RIGHT TO DRESS YOUR SOUL HOWEVER HE DEEMS NECESSARY, ESPECIALLY IF YOUR SOUL WAS A NERD BEFORE ACQUISTION. SOULMAKOVERRR!

YOUR SOUL MAY BECOME FRACTURED AND PLACED INTO DIFFERENT OBJECTS. THIS HAS NO PURPOSE AND WILL NOT RESURRECT YOU IF YOU DIE.

SIGNEE HAS FORFEITED ALL RIGHTS TO ANY AFTERLIFE. INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO: HEAVEN, HELL, PURGATORY, BIG CORNER, FLOW STATE, THE DREAM HOUSE, THE REINCARNATION PROCESSING CENTER, AXOLOTL´S TANK AND CONSEQUENCES HOLE.

SIGNEE CAN NO LONGER BOARD THE SOUL TRAIN AND IS ADVISED TO DISCARD ALL BELLBOTTOMS.

SIGNEE CAN NO LONGER HAVE A PUPPY AS A BEST FRIEND, THEY CAN SENSE WHAT IS GONE. BATS ARE INDIFFERENT.

SIGNEE MAY EXPERIENCE OCCASIONAL DEMON POSSESSIONS FROM HORCULUS THE RED, PLABOS THE MERCILESS, MORBUS SON OF MORTEM, PLAGA THE OOAING AND OTHER SUCH COMMON DEMONS ROAMING EARTH SEARCHING FOR WEAKENED, EMPTY VESSELS!

TIPS FOR RIPPING YOUR SOUL OUT AT HOME: WATCHING YOUTUBE COMMENTARY CHANNELS, ATTENDING AN EXTENDED FAMILY EVENT WITH AN OPEN BAR, USING GENERATIVE AI AND ASSERTING THAT YOU ARE CREATIVE, TURNING A BLIND EYE TO HUMAN SUFFERING, AMASSING MORE WEALTH THAN NEEDED, PURCHASING A BLUE CHECKMARK...

I had fun with this and yeah...rip to anyone who signed (me included, I would have loved to visit axolotl´s tank...)

[sp1c3-r4ck-synd1c4t3]

ATTENTION BELOVED FOLLOWERS

YOU WILL BE AUTOMATICALLY BLOCKED BY MY BOT IF YOU DO NOT READ THIS POST

Now that I have your attention, I will explain the full situation.

I have 36,000 followers. The vast majority of these followers are bots, a fact that annoys me to no end. I realized that I may be able to solve this problem, although considerable effort would be needed in order to execute my plan.

I am currently learning Python in order to made a program that interfaces with the Tumblr API in a process that will retrieve my follower list and block thousands upon thousands of accounts automatically.

In order to filter out exclusively bots, I will provide one method of survival. Reply with a single period on THIS post. Make sure that your are commenting from your main blog, not a side account! I will make a list of users who are capable of engaging with my posts, and remove your names from the list of followers who shall be purged.

COMMENT "." ON THIS POST IN ORDER TO BE SPARED

If all goes to plan, I will run this program on FEBRUARY 10 2025, one month after the creation of this post. If this program takes longer than a month, the deadline for opting in for immunity will be similarly extended.

If you are a long time mutual, if you are a rarely online lurker, if you are a new impulse follower, please comment regardless! Even if we have never spoken, don't feel embarrassed by interacting. My goal is to have an entirely human followerbase, and everyone is welcome to enjoy the post-apocalyptic paradise.

[aquanutart]