#myself included but i was thinking abt him earlier

[cruel-hiraeth]

everyone really sleeps on baizhu’s milfy energy

[phagodyke]

tried putting on my radiator for the first time this winter (we've had snow this week.... its focking cold) but it trips the fusebox for the entire flat lmfao. I'm fuuuucked 😐

[candiid-caniine]

Hey! Long time no see, i know i said id send you a fantasy i thought you'd like but now ive forgotten almost all of it, oop!

Life happened, and uh, i saw that you mentioned your libido being a bit low, which definitely is my case too (im recovering from depression, now that im okay id love to get my FULL libido back, or at least a good percentage of it) do you have any tips on that?

Also any recs of blogs writing in the same vibe as you? (same-ish kinks would be nice but im specifically looking for queer inclusive stuff!) it makes me 10x hornier than the regular video/photo porn!

Hope you're well, you pathetic little thing!

💫

hi friend!! ugh i feel you. sorry i haven't got any advice on regaining ur libido...we just let mine wax and wane as it will, though denial has been a big help in keeping it steady!

i've heard good things abt ginseng and some other herbs. obvs use at your own risk, mind that some herbal treatments can cross-interact with certain medications, remember that pre-packaged supplement pills are often unregulated and may contain toxins, and be aware that some herbal remedies work better on pw certain anatomy than others, and finally that many herbal remedies considered to increase libido are largely untested on trans folx!

finally, sorry it's taken so long to answer this ask...i'm autistic and have been cataloguing lol. i present to you a list of other blog recs under the cut, organized by general vibe! i've tried to primarily include blogs that do their own posts rather than those who primarily reblog :)

note that my headings may provide some context as to what to expect, but you read at your own risk and each blog will typically have its own trigger warnings addressed in the header/pinned. additionally, i've not tagged some of the ppl below because they prefer that "Men DNI" blogs not interact, and idk if "no cis men" qualifies ahah!

all blogs below are queer- and/or trans-inclusive, if not exclusive! there is no detrans/misgendering, at least I don't think - i don't tend to follow those blogs.

hard kinks (blood, knives, etc; includes primarily-cnc blogs):

@puppy-mommy , who also does general t4t kink content, but does state untagged hard kinks!

@visciousest is someone whose blog i scroll when i'm in a Certain Mood ahah,, i won't elaborate

@hell-hound-bites: just. fuck. would drool on his knife blade.

@snuff-fag: its username should give you fair warning as to how wild its content tends to get, so please browse responsibly.

@condor-bait is taking a break right now, and all my love is with him as he takes care of himself. he made me feel so valid and so fuckable as a young trans person learning to love myself in a new way, and i've always been too shy to tell him how much his content meant to me one-on-one (yes, despite its often-extreme themes!), and he deserves as much time as he needs to heal!

@unwillingfvckpuppy for mostly cnc and medical kinks! if you like his style, but not so much their harder content, he also has a more-tame main blog--i just mainly follow/scroll this one!

@vampvictim: top-tier cnc/intox stuff, plus some great knife/bloodplay :)

@cryptidtid is wonderful and holy shit i follow a lot of hard kink blogs lol. incredible

@cnc-pet: i have been following her for a long ass fucking time lol. they post a lot of really good cnc and stories, but you'll also find a lot of aftercare tips and advice on her blog! i really admire blogs who try to balance horny content with best practices

@dollobotomy

general kinky content:

@excessively-queer . just plain old good shit :) there's a good amt of edging and degradation.

@clouded-king was honestly one of my earlier introductions to the queer/t4t kink community on here and how fucking euphoric it can be :) he posts some hard kinks, but generally it's a balance of a lot of different kinks so read his pinned at your leisure!

@ / cottontailx : just good kinky nsft posts :)

@ / digitalpenetration: often specifically t4t which i love!!

@femmelovefemme can step on me :)

@bigothteddies: could not build this section w/o mentioning him :) they had a big influence on my fantasies for a long time!

@hazelj-xoxo: bigtime want her to cuck me. have followed her across multiple blog deletions lol

@transpidered is forever an icon!

@subspaceemo

@writefinch for great stories and text posts

edging and denial, specifically:

@6irlpet is 1 of my go-to hands-down-pants scroll sessions :)

@droolkink is my inspiration!

@flustersluts does exactly what the name implies lol. a good helping of other kink content too :)

@puppycvnt is a 10/10!

@barkwoofbarkwoofbark: we r denial friends imo!!

@strawbrrysub

@blyssful-abyss

@urhighnessbitch is a big fav <3

non-detrans genderplay:

@butchviolence does amazing butch supremacy stuff and i,,, fucking hell. even just seeing their username puts me in a Particular state of mind ahah. they also post hard kinks so be aware as you proceed!

@mtfdomme: i literally just reblogged from her today lol. tbh i want to be their little stupid pupthing. it's not all transfem supremacy undertones/overtones, but that's what i mainly follow her for, plus just general t4t goodness! also, their general personality? and the way she shuts down people who disrespect their boundaries? huge inspiration for me!

@cuntboydestroyer: take me to the animal shelter and neuter me. good lord.

@the-kind-of-dame is the main inspiration for my recent genderplay post lol

@terfbreaking-tgirl (be warned of dykebreaking if that's an issue for you)

@barbarian-lesbian is my other inspiration for the recent genderplay post

@superiorineveryway

weird asf (/complimentary; my favorite type of shit. robots, ND-focused posts, etc):

@specksizedgoddess has introduced me to things i didn't know, like...existed, and that's saying a lot as one of my special interests is kink! never knew how down bad i was to be a tiny buggirl, nor how much i wanted to be someone's stupid little robot... BIG tw tho: there is snuff and gore content here, so proceed with caution if you don't wanna see that!

@sapphling fucked me up real good with some bird!sub bondage posts awhile back lol

@nobelisha: found them through their ghost cnc post so that's why they're in this category ahah! they don't have a pinned so proceed w awareness :)

@devout-cleric: hierophilia/religion kink, and i'm something of an acolyte of hers :) if you've read this far down you may as well know i'm her Little Lamb anon lol

piss/omo:

@latenightomo

@pissheartmybeloved - their URL makes me crack up every time, plus good content!

@hold-it-a-little-longer - good scenarios/imagines!

@ohmyrashi - (i think) my original intro to omo!

monsterfucking/terato:

@septimus-moonlight was my first real introduction to trans-positive terato and i've never settled for half-fun cis-oriented terato ever since :) mind tags!

@eggedbellies as well!

@bredpun doesn't appear to be active lately but still good for a scroll!

@steamandcream

@of-mutts-and-men

[whosstella]

Going back to my parallel abt obx and tmr. Not only abt the lines “take care of everyone” and “ take care of everyone for me, goodbye mate -Newt”. Both Newt and JJ were the glue of the group always the peace makers. It’s crazy to think how many things they have in common but at the same time they are so so sooo different from each other. Both put others before themselves and they both pay the price for it in the end. Although there is still hope for JJ, Newt unfortunately did not get that :(. They are both dearly loved and missed by pretty much the majority of their fandoms. That are both the “dear friend of the main character who stole the show” one way or another. They were both done VERY VERY VERY dirty, if Brenda would have been there a couple of seconds earlier, if Kie wouldn’t JUST STAND THERE watching him get stabbed by Groff (and we all know that he could easily fight him off but alas). Both facing injuries and near death experiences. Newt jumping of the wall when he first got in the maze and JJ’s basically whole life. Even though one is a certified bad boy and the other certified cinnamon roll 😭🙏🏻 (i think you can guess which is which). Lastly they are both comfort characters of so many ppl it’s actually mind boggling (including myself in this hihi). There are probably more things than these but I can’t think of any rn feel free to tell me :) and again thank you to anyone who might be reading this 💞

P.S. they are both blonde 🤭

[1eos]

What’s your take on Taek always posing with Starbucks lately? I’ve been so conflicted. Many people have tried to educate him but he hasn’t stopped

hmhmmmm. what im abt to say isnt exclusive to him this is just my general stance when it comes to ppl w privilege being out of touch but its one of those things where im not gonna defend it. obviously. if anyone criticizes him (or anyone else i like) im not gonna fight them or try to make excuses but im also not gonna fall into the trap of centering all talks of palestine around a celebrity!

i purposefully havent been talking abt who has and hasnt been boycotting starbucks since november bc i saw someone point out that if you searched palestine on twitter the results were literally clogged with shit abt idols and that's not productive esp bc a lot of ppl have not spoken a word abt palestine until a famous person was caught w starbucks and suddenly theyre mobilizing to get them to stop posting their drinks but will never mobilize IN GENERAL

and this isnt just about kpop i remember being skeeved out by the beyhive for palestine stuff bc theyre STILL focusing *beyonce* when she's a millionaire! she's not starving! and she said nothing when break my soul became a fucking war song for isnt real which is way worse than starbucks i can admit that. and i remember during the big wave of black lives matter how frustrated i was that everyone just wanted to make it all about what this celebrity donated or how this celebrity was forced to post abt blm and to make ethnic cleansing abt idols is just a million times more fucked up.

i say all this to say that in general. me, personally, im always gonna try to put more effort in actually centering palestinian issues. i do feel guilty bc as much as i would love to be immune to the celebrity machine im not 😭 and i have the privilege of escapism when millions don't. like i slipped up and thoroughly enjoyed ushers half time show without even thinking and woke up the next morning and saw all the zionist shit he had posted months earlier. BUT instead of letting that guilt propel me to try to push a celeb to boycott to make myself feel better im gonna use my energy and privilege to send money every paycheck, boycott myself and spread awareness and talk to the ppl i *can* influence :')

and i hope this doesnt sound like one big cope 😭😭😭😭 ive been disappointed in a lot of ppl including really close friends who hate isnt real and are sympathetic to palestine but aren't consciously boycotting and resolving myself to do more and focusing on the ppl who *are* doing what needs to be done has been better than worrying abt how *i* feel when in the end of the day im (relatively) safe

[lingy910y]

Gallavich Questionnaire

Thank you @energievie for tagging me to do this! I get too unhinged when talking about these two boys, so warning for very elaborate ramblings 🙏

1. What’s a fic you’ve read more than once?

This fic is the prime example of why you should write a fic even if you think nobody’s going to read it, because it’s my favorite gallavich fic even though most people don’t want to read about them getting a divorce. But I do, okay, because a normal break-up doesn’t cut it (especially since we already see those in canon, but post-canon is up to our interpretation) and it’s just more serious. I think they will work out their issues before it gets too far in canon but it just hurts so fucking good. The reason for their divorce is so realistic too, in fact it’s not one but a lot of problems piled on top of each other. They think it’s only going to hurt everyone involved including their children, which is arguably true in context, but they can’t resist each other and it’s this back and forth push. There’s parallels to canon, the writing is so good without being drawn out, and there’s so much nuance, emotion, and subtly hinting at something beneath the surface. The pining is just delicious because it’s not “I don’t know if you feel this way about me” or “I’m not allowed to be with you,” it’s “I want to be with you so badly but I’m trying to resist that because it’s going to hurt everyone.” Then the trying so hard not to care because “we’re over, but you’re in trouble and I’m trying to move on and I’m never going to love someone else like I love you” 😭😭😭 anyway I actually had to stop myself from rereading too often for comfort because it was too much LOL

the author said they were going to update it January of this year so I’ll be patiently waiting 😔

3. What's a headcanon you can't stop thinking about?

You know that post abt how when you're sleepy you imagine your favs sleepy? I keep imagining Ian wrapping their comforter around Mickey like a cocoon when he has a nightmare and cuddling him, it's cute

4. What's a fanart you love looking at?

The first image of this by @gallavichonly JUST GETS ME SO FERAL. THEIR FUCKING EXPRESSIONS.

5. What’s an idea you’d love to create if you had the time/inspiration?

I want to draw a character concept art sheet for their outfits/weapons/mechanics for kinda a zombie apocalypse AU. Designing that sounds fun but I need to research more

6. What’s something you’ve discovered since entering this fandom? A new trope you love? A different analysis of the show? Something else?

The jealousy trope, especially jealous Mickey. I guess in other fandoms, people write jealousy in a really possessive, cringy way. Not saying gallavich aren't possessive as fuck but at least they earned it, you know? There's too many ships where one of them is breathing down the other person's love interest's neck but they don't even know you exist, like calm down 😭 Meanwhile gallavich tease and try to get each other to admit it first, and Mickey is biting his tongue trying not to say anything and then "Fucking cheat on me, Ian?!", "Whatcha doin' here then?" AND THEIR EXPRESSIONS WHEN THEY EACH SAY "WHEN YOU KNOW, YOU KNOW" ARUGHHHHHH I'M SO GONE

7. What’s an underrated trope or concept you’d like to see more of?

Touched on this earlier but basically the more tragic/gritty ones—a huge argument, break-ups, unrequited love, falling out of love, hanahaki, amnesia, MCD...

10. What scene or moment do you feel isn’t discussed enough?

Eh I think we've dissected the shit out of every scene lmao, but probably their s4 reunion? The lap dance?

11. What line/dialogue/description from something else (a poem, a book, a tv show, a movie, or something else) do you feel describes Ian and Mickey’s relationship?

Obviously "I'll take care of you. / It's rotten work. / Not to me. Not if it's you."

12. What do you think is next for Ian and Mickey post-finale?

I want Ian to go back to being an EMT no matter what :( but their current security gig fits Mickey a lot. Ian also gets really into gardening, he'll be so good to the point where he'll be known in the neighborhood. And Mickey has a little hobby for drawing. They'll adopt a pitbull because Mickey was actually enthusiastic about that idea, which meets Ian halfway by still giving him something to take care of. Now for the elephant in the room: I think it's okay if Mickey never wants a kid, and there's a lot of issues ingrained in them that unless they go to therapy for a couple of years, hinder them from becoming perfect parents tbh. Now I'm not saying they'll be bad, but will their best be enough? Will they be content? Idk, I don't have any experience and I see them with more issues/flaws than the majority of the fandom? Honestly I just don't see that future for them (but I do enjoy kid AUs because who doesn't.) They'll stay on the West Side because I want them to get out but not stray too far from their family. I also can't think about them getting old or I'll sob, but I wrote a fic about how they'll retire and just live comfortably because it's what they deserve, and they'll take tons of vacations when they save up enough money.

oh my god that was way too much but in my defense i rarely get to rant abt them ok!! anyway now that I went through the whole spectrum of emotions, i'm tagging @michellemisfit, @lupeloto, @jademickian & @softmick 🚶‍♀️

[zukkacore]

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ SURPRISE ANOTHER ONE WITH ME SPECIFICALLY POINTING OUT POINTS I LIKE ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Anything you want to talk about about the Devil’s Honey, J2’s thought process, the themes between the Lover’s universe stories

Sending so much love and appreciation your way 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

OK i was gonna talk abt the devil's honey b/c it was tangientally related to a scene Bambi wanted me to talk abt but i'll talk abt it here since u asked so so so nicely.

Anyway. Funny admission. Can you believe there was a version of the draft that didn't include any of the devil's honey stuff at all? When i said i was finished, that was the version! However, i mentioned that The j2porter scene in ch 6 was actually a scene i basically wrote last night mostly on my phone. I don't remember what compelled me to do it (honestly it might've just been insecurity b/c i felt like the chapter was too short. But maybe I did sense there was something incomplete about it)

Actually, I think I realized I needed the scene b/c of what Jace said about Porter in the scene. Like. To go from that reveal to them sleeping with each other felt kind of. Strange. I had to wrangle with J2's new fear that was sitting side by side with the fact that he was born to love Porter Cliffbreaker. Hence the Devil's honey.

I joked abt this. like. Epilogue by @iaus was obviously such an inspiration for Chapter 7... I just thought the use of Devil's honey to rewrite Jace's memories was so so clever. I didn't use it as concretely, Idk how it it comes across but basically the idea was that. There are three specific things (three specific Lies) that J2 is telling himself that is basically overwriting his memories and rewriting his fear, that b/c of the devil's honey, he starts to believe. That's how he gets over his fear of Porter. And why he's ok with "sharing" porter. And All the mentions of Porter going to pray before he leaves, they were not in the original draft so. All the times J2 mentions Porter's mouth being sweet, yeah. That's what that is

The three Things (lies?) that J2 is telling himself:

I want this.

I want everything.

Porter deserves everything.

And they all kinda work together in an order kind of. Constructing the way he thinks and feels sort of IN ACTION until we get the J2 at the end of the chapter

Devi's honey helps a person tell a convincing lie, and the side effect is that they can believe the lie themself. So basically, I think the most important step in J2's journey is step 1: "I want this". Again, I actually finished an earlier draft and had completely just glossed over Jace admitting some facet of what happened to him, then i realizaed how important and frighteninng the phrase "he shouldve thought about that before he put a cavern in my chest" would be to J2 who is basically Porter's precious little bird. And Porter does treat J2 like he's precious b/c he's basically the last semblance of Jace! He's the parting gift, he's a fraction of Jace himself, he can renact what it's like to be WITH jace, to not LOSE jace. I wrote the Porter half of ch 6 basically on my phone last night and. So. there was this leap of logic and.

If i'm being charitable toward myself, I don't think the devil's honey is a contrivance. Just to get them where I wanna get them. I think J2's Fear of porter IS there, it would've always been there, and he always would've needed to surmount it if he knew the truth about what happened to Jace. That's the first part of the Lie: "I want this". And he does. He wants Porter so badly. But in the beginning, his fear is still holding him back. It's why he keeps mentioning being afraid in Porter's office and being like "that was weird, right? That's just love" because the symptoms of fear/anxiety in general and like. Anxiety b/c you have a crush really are kinda similar!

(His heart is racing. Porter's grip is tight, painful. He’s anxious, but why ?)

(J2 is frightened. But of what, exactly?)

(What was he so afraid of again, in Porter’s office? The pounding of his heart, that’s love, isn’t it? The ecstasy of worship? The gift of divine purpose?)

(He feels powerful in the way a surge makes him feel powerful—the scared kid trembling in Porter’s arms from the other day is gone. Porter wants him to take some goddamn action for himself? Look at him now. He's giving Porter everything. Porter deserves everything.)

Etc etc.

This Also goes hand in hand with the Devil's Honey reworking his memories about the fight with Jace in the office.

(There was something Jace said. He can’t remember.)

He can't stop thinking about "Cavern in my chest", but he wants this. He wants Porter to be happy. And he wants Porter to have Jace. So what Porter did to Jace, it stops being important to J2. It stops scaring him. To the point where he literally forgets about it.

Part 2 & 3 are sorta working in tandem to me. Part 2 aka I want everything is the incantation for J2 to be ok with invoking Jace to me, as opposed to wanting it to be just him. Because he Knows Porter loves Jace. Loves jaceprime more than him. So if he wants to feel everything from Porter, he has to tell himself he's ok with being Jace's replacement. (it's also why he does the Detect Thoughts)

Part 3: Porter deserves everything. This was invoked before P2 to i think it could've happened in either order for it to work. Again, the devil's honey working on. something that I think is a partial truth for J2 that does make him distinct from Jace. I think Jace's want is ultimately selfish, as explored in IYWD. He wants Porter to stay with him, for them to live a mundane life doing laundry and taxes together. He wants that more than the ascension but he loves Porter so he's willing to work for the Ascension. Whereas J2 loves Porter at this point enough to let him go. If he can let him go to let Jace have him, to share him, he can let him go for the Ascension. And on a mechanical level for the story, this is so J2 can be ok with essentially the idea not just of being Jace, but of "sharing" Porter.

Why limit yourself to one when you could have the flock?

The thing is that when J2 invokes Jace earlier, I think on an outside level it's kinda tragic, b/c he's losing himself to become jace, but from the inside, J2 is genuinely moved by Jace's love for Porter, he thinks their love for each other its strong, its transcendent, its the blueprint that he covets so deeply and can never get himself so to invoke that, to inhabit that, it feels good to be a messenger, to play-act as someone who feels that deeply for Porter, and to be on the receiving end of that FROM Porter. He wants everything. He can only get everything from Porter if he inhabits being Jace. So he convinces himself that he wants that. It's why he's so ok with being reduced to an object, a gift, by the end whereas in chapter 4 he was really strongly trying to assert that he also CHOSE this.

I'll fully admit I went to church throughout a decent portion of my life and like. I never ever ever ever understood that idea of like. The ecstasy of worship or of feeling the holy spirit convening and running through you that is sometimes described but, like, I get it now b/c that's totally what I think is happening here. And as much as he wants to keep Porter to himself, he genuinely was heartbroken in chapter 6 at the idea that Jace and Porter love each other very profoundly and could not be together, he was willing to tell Jace that even thought he also loves Porter and wants to keep him. So again, it's not a total lie that he believes Porter deserves everything. But as he's repeating this idea, he's becoming more and more ok with this idea that Jace can and should return to Porter's life. That's a good thing that Porter deserves and that he would be ok with. Porter deserves everything.

J2 is getting what he wants. He gets to be by Porter's side, despite the risk. (And in his memories, Jace looks so happy. Doesn't Porter deserve that, too?)

At the same time. I think by the very very very end of the chapter you can see the effects slightly fading.

Through repetition it becomes prayer. I want this. I want everything. Porter deserves everything. He believes that, doesn't he?

It's that sliver of doubt at the very very end.

I'm trying to think if there's anything else. If there is I'll probably just reblog it and tack in on at the end

[majorbaby]

actually we are both SO lucky because tumblr wouldnt let me send the ask initially—I had to copy an earlier version and try sending it to myself several times to figure out what the error was. so i DO have an earlier copy of the ask—it was less clean so I'll add more fun colors to make it less of a pain to read. ANYWAY, IT IS AS FOLLOWS:

"THE GEORGE EPISODE...sorry this is gonna be a long ask, I hope you don't mind! I love that ep for personal reasons that have almost nothing to do w/ the episode itself, which is, I agree, aside from the social message of "don't be a bigot" (AND TRAPPERS SINGINGGGG) kind of mid!

but. i was re-watching it recently. and the scene where George comes out and then Father Mulcahy interrupts w/ the football and Hawkeye does a really bad throw, kind of caught my attention oddly.

I know the main purpose of the interaction is to wrap up the scene nicely, give Hawkeye a way to bounce off of George asking Hawk not to tell anybody abt him being A Homosexual. but it also directly connects Hawkeyes Comedic Sports Failure to George's Homosexuality and w/ the way that lack of aptitude in sports is considered a Gay Thing especially back in the day, the little voice in my head that loves looking for meaning in stories said: "This is a purposeful connection the writers are drawing between Hawkeye and George"

and then the rest of my brain kicked up and kicked in and kicked down the door and said "take a breather, you transexual bisexual. not everything is about intentional queercoding." and i was like yeah. fine. whatever. fine. alright.

and while I do kinda believe bisexual reading of Hawkeye is inevitable to any viewer who has ever given thoughtful consideration to how one man might want to touch another man, calling it coding in this scene might be a pretty dramatic stretch. i can't argue with that. sure.

BUT. i was working on a sewing project later and needed something light and easy to listen to, and i poked at the MASHMatters podcast and found they had an interview with one of the writers of that very episode—Gary Markowitz. [ep 71 if u want it]

AND. i have three interesting things to tell u i learned from that.

1) ORIGINALLY the ending of the episode was not going to be "Frank was hiding something embarrassing in HIS past TOO! He paid for his degree!" (Markowitz did not like this ending because he was like "are we really going to say that being gay is something in your past you Should be ashamed of?") but instead. Frank was going to get drunk and admit that there was an older family friend with a tattoo he really. really admired when he was younger. Admired the guy's muscles. Maybe. Sure, maybe he wanted to be him, but maybe...maybe he wanted...Something Else.

Obviously...I mean. I don't think I'd consider that a Diversity Win.

Honestly? In this one weird case maybe I agree with the censors that blackmailing Frank about paying for the answers to the test was kind of better. Esp with the idea that "the most homophobic people are the homosexuals themselves" being a particularly shitty trope.

and I think the explicit confirmation that Frank himself might have some homosexual tendencies might have overshadowed the single-ep-character, George, and come right around to being a "well its ok to bully the annoying homosexuals" message. which would already be a horrible message in an era where I think homosexuality itself was cause for disgust and irritation for many people. but. well. anyway.

2) MARKOWITZ MENTIONED THE RADAR AND HENRY BIT.

Markowitz said they intentionally included the monthly checkup bit to illustrate how, in a situation such as this, men are often very intimate with each other, putting themselves in vulnerable situations with other men, touching other men, already.

Like, sure the rest of the episode maybe you (a homophobic 1970s audience) are freaking out about a man wants to touch other men intimately, but you're totally okay and unbothered about this corporal getting so up in his C.O.'s business that he can see a little nativity scene in his ear?

He said they wanted to make it clear that homophobia is a silly stance to take when men are touching men for all sorts of reasons all the time in a setting like the military. Like. It is just naturally a kind of homosocial homosexual homoplatonic environment just on account of how homogenous the gender variance of any given environment is.

and I was like. whoa. hey. that's a lot more thought than I gave the writers credit for, and that's on me! I really like that scene even more now!

3) Apparently, when Markowitz and his writing partner (John W. Regier) submitted this (their first script to get accepted) idea to the usual MASH writers nobody was Thrilled about it. Like, it was Fine but they were in a friendly competition with All In The Family to tackle social issues, and so they were like "FINEEEEE i GUESSSS we'll talk about THE GAY ISSUE. since All In The Family Hasn't yet. WHATEVER."

which doesn't surprise me in the least given the show itself as well as the time it was made in, but does disappoint me a little.

ANYWAY!!!!!!!

So I took all this stuff and brought it with me when I started thinking about all the other little scenes in there—like when George pauses when Frank mentions The Pink Scourge before Frank clarifies that he means communists.

OR when Henry gets his nails done by the nurse he's sweet on—and asks with an easy familiarity for the buffing treatment. How she calls his hands beautiful, and he says he got them from his mother.

OR OR OR. the one where Hawkeye is painting that nurse's toes, and she says "wow you're really good at this" and then Radar comes over and ALSO says hawkeye is really good at painting toenails. and that scene is RIGHT before he throws the football really badly. and how THAT is followed by Mulcahy getting tackled by a bunch of other soldiers, so it's just a writhing mass of olive drab, men's bodies against men's bodies against men's bodies.

Perhaps it wasn't just to wrap up the scene, but also used just very very subtly reinforce that in some ways, Hawkeye is less of the Red Blooded American Icon of Masculinity than this Gay Soldier, who is begging to be sent back to the front lines to serve his country, despite being assaulted by his own unit—and then. maybe. Maybe the American Ideal Of Masculinity, commonly tied to football, to being in the military, etc, is itself...a little...Hm. You Know. Like when Radar opens the door to the shower while Hawk + Trap are in there, and a crowd outside starts clapping. I think that transexual bisexual impulse is getting the best of me maybe. anyway.

ANYWAY i hope this ask was enjoyable for you you and i thank you for reading it! Your analytical posts about MASH always give me a lot to think about and I find myself wanting to return some of that enjoyment back to you! "

postscript: thank u so much for posting ur thoughts despite the tumblr mayhem, i am eating them!!! slurping them up like a carton of noodles. packaging the rest in a little tupperware to save for later!!

ah thank you for re-submitting it! i couldn't remembering enough of it to summarize your points and do them justice.

... very very subtly reinforce that in some ways, Hawkeye is less of the Red Blooded American Icon of Masculinity than this Gay Soldier, who is begging to be sent back to the front lines to serve his country, despite being assaulted by his own unit—and then. maybe. Maybe the American Ideal Of Masculinity, commonly tied to football, to being in the military, etc, is itself...a little...Hm. You Know

I do think this is what is textually happening in several episodes of MASH, including in George. @marley-manson articulated it very well in a post that i am unable to locate at this time, where she stated that Hawkeye's "hmm" moments are about gender expression. moments that hold him up as something other than "Red Blooded American Icon of Masculinity."

there's lots of examples of this from early MASH but my favourite is this one from Yankee Doodle Doctor. runner up: Frank at some point @ HawkTrap "you-! you... guys!" HawkTrap: "we are notttt~"

totally valid to see that as lending itself well to a trans Hawkeye headcanon (although Trapper is the one following when they dance, not Hawkeye - and big lug that he is, Trapper also manages to subvert trad masculinity in his own masc way... ), but I really like it as is too - there's more than one way to be a man. you don't have to buy what traditional masculinity is selling you. you can be a lover, rather than a fighter.

[mournivaldisco]

why so obsessed with the horus heresy? not very knowledgable abt warhammer i just want to make people infodump

Thanks for the ask! Infodump activated, please stand by

So my previous hyperfixation was the work of John Milton (doesn't sound relevant, but bear with me) and I wrote my undergrad dissertation on 'The Culpability of Milton's Eve' - basically examining to what degree Milton held Eve responsible for the Fall of Man. (My argument was she represents the pursuit of knowledge and freedom and therefore a necessary evil because those are inherently virtuous in Milton's mind - dude was a complex thinker.) The Horus Heresy takes heavy inspiration from Paradise Lost so I was drawn to that aspect. (There are moments in the climactic novel where the author, Dan Abnett, literally quotes PL and I squeed.)

Again on a personal level, my husband had been trying unsuccessfully to get me interested in Warhammer for about ten years before I finally picked up the first book in the series, Horus Rising, and was like '...huh. This is good. Husband, what's a primarch?' At the time I was knee deep in postnatal depression and suddenly wanting to know What Happened Next in the story really helped get me through. That was 2019 and I think the last few books in the series hadn't yet been released, so I set myself the goal of finishing the whole thing before the finale was released.

The Horus Heresy including the Siege of Terra is 64 novels. It's a commitment and I was Ready.

What do I love about it? It's epic mythology and covers so much ground while at the same time following tiny plot threads right to the end. The Legions and primarch details are very satisfying to a neurospicy mind. The books are...variable in quality, but when they're good, they blow your socks off. Know No Fear, for example, is pure cinema. I also find it hilarious that the final book is so long that the publishers physically could not print it as a single volume, so it was split into three. And you can tell Dan Abnett was having a whale of a time. He's the same author who started the series with Horus Rising 18 years earlier. There are a bunch of authors who wrote for the series and that gives it a nice variety in terms of style, favourite characters and so on.

Character-wise, we have my blorbo Garviel Loken, who starts Horus Rising from his perspective. He's the reader's way into the madness of what's going on as he is quite human for a Space Marine. My other favourite is Sanguinius, who is an angel vampire primarch (how can I not love him) with huge wings. His sort-of-dad, the Emperor of Mankind, has a whole thing where he constantly denies that he is a god despite all evidence to the contrary and he also has this son who is casually an angel, so that's fun. Sanguinius is the best boy but doesn't believe it because he also craves blood. He also is besties with Horus but unfortunately is destined to die by his hand. I am obsessed.

I love writing fanfic and there's such potential in the Heresy for missing scenes and exploring the characters' emotions - and shipping 😏

In conclusion it is awesome and I love it thank you for coming to my TED talk 😆

[delileaf]

so i fr work in a research building and everytime someone looks me in the eye and tells me they’re working on tuberculosis i gotta try real hard not to fall to my knees and start screaming

#yes it is surprisingly a very active area of research #it shocks me everytime #literally posters i walk past everyday abt tuberculosis and all i can think of is him…..

hi stranger!!! this post came up while i was searching abt TB and i didnt see that you were a red dead redemption(??? that cowboy game that i wish i could play where the main character gets TB) and i was at first very confused that you were like. kind of hostile to the idea of tuberculosis treatment? i saw a post with the name arthur and i was like ohh that makes so much more sense lol

but yeah tuberculosis is still a very big problem, just not one that gets acknowledged much in wealthy or majority white nations. due to several reasons (most notably corporate greed in the pharmaceutical industry), TB treatments are very inaccessible to a lot of people — this has changed very recently, but in some parts global south, just a diagnostic test could cost an entire week’s worth of wages

if you know who john green is, he actually started going in on tuberculosis activism like last year and leveraged his fanbase against johnson & johnson and a biotech company called cepheid in order to get them to reduce the pricing of their treatment & testing equipment in low- and middle-income countries! cepheid & their parent company danaher are still dragging their feet (only the first test for TB is reduced, but if someone tests positive they’re supposed to get a second test that will check what drugs will be effective against their strain. this is a major deal and is still unaffordable to a lot of people).

i’ll restrain myself from infodumping too much about my (very unsettling) special interest, but i have some recommendations in case you’re curious:

phantom plague by vidya krishnan is an incredible resource that is very approachable for someone not familiar with TB history and so full of interesting information. krishnan covers both history and the modern day, and goes into not only some germ science but also the social, political, and financial aspects. this is a massive recommendation to anyone, it’s just really really good

tbfighters . org is a website created by TB activists that’s a great jumping off point for anyone wanting to know what’s up with TB activism right now — includes basic details about TB in the modern day, some very easy calls to action (mostly focused on pressuring cepheid out of their price gouging, with some political information for the US and UK also!), and at the end a bunch of links to learn more!

(also i mentioned john green jumping into the fray earlier, so i have to talk about how he has a bunch of really great youtube videos and tiktoks about TB — history & also the modern day fight against it)

okay sorry this was a lot. please have a good day/night!!! :) <3

wow- this is super interesting !!!! I’ve actually just started my PhD in cell biology and I get so focused on the science I sometimes forget there’s a whole like political and economic landscape to biotech and pharmaceutical companies. doing research, it’s so easy to forget you’re not working in a vacuum!!

honestly as someone from the uk TB is just not on my radar and in my stupid science brain i was like - we can treat it? therefore we solved that problem? very privileged and sheltered of me I know, so I’m so glad you sent me that info!!

it’s crazy to me that i spend so much time getting sad over a fictional cowboy while real people are still going through very real situations with TB and suffering because they can’t afford tests or treatment - something i feel like more people and especially the rdr fandom should keep in mind when making jokes abt a ‘cowboy disease’

so thanks so much for all that!!!! (also …. you should definitely play the cowboy game, it’s amazing but will break you into a million pieces)

have a lovely day!!

[jils-things]

HIHIII FOR THE S/I ASK GAME. 3, 9, 15, and 16 FOR AINE OR IRENE? THANK YOU 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

NAUR I GOT EXCITED CUZ THIS IS AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT SET OF OCS OMG YES. THANK YOU. DOING BOTH BECAUSE YES..

3. how do the other characters generally feel about your self insert?

i dont think many would actually know aine's... present because she's holed up in her house for so long... probably her relatives only know about her existence wiwiwi but! she's generally very shy and quiet, not very used to talking to others! but she tries her best to be sweet :3

irene is ... probably envied by many people! i mean she's part of a prestigious family and she's very pretty! she's not like most women of her age who can be pretty uptight (at least i think so...) - she's very humble about her wealth and doesnt go out of her way to shove how fortunate she is... its all because of her old past that she's very gentle and considerate :3

9. who are your self insert’s closest friends?

unfortunately as i've said earlier, poor baby aine doesnt have much friends, but she's very, very close and trusting of her gallade who acts as her best friend and guardian no matter where she is. she always finds comfort in gallade. but if i had to pick one person who would be her close friend, it would be erika - i think she'd help aine be more relaxed and less nervous about herself and sleepy times together LAFDKSLKFSKA. i wanna plug blake into the story as well, i can totally see him to be a big brother to aine and i picture blake to be more friendly! aine needs nice company, she needs it for sure ;; softcore version of color pallet trio . cold pallet trio if you will. bye

right off the bat, i just told myself "yes irene and emma are best friends" emma probably provides the best chamomile and irene looooves tea. they bond over that heheheh. maybe helena and tracy too! i have such soft spots for them and i really like them! irene definitely doesnt like nobles that much (i excuse reynold however. eheh). i would include naib, but i dont think it would work out? im just biased wiwiwi

15. how does your self insert play a role in the plot of the story? do they help directly defeat the villain, support the heroes, etc.?

AINE STOPS THE ACTUAL FROSTBITE. THAT IS ALL. IM TOO SHY TO TALK ABT ***VELVETSHIPPING HERE IM SORRY WHDASDSAHJFHJFSASF </3333 he stops caring about trying hard for himself to be stronger and helps aine out instead and feels that she deserves better and focuses on that <3

irene umm,, gives him,,, the love and care he lacked as a kid,, wiwiiw,,, she takes him in after the explosion and nurses him to health and they confess they like each other and they promise to figure things out from there and shes dead serious about taking him into a better place because he's gone too far to make ends meet WEEWEFGGFGF MY BRAIN IM (BLEATS PATHERTICALLY)

16. freebie! name a fact about your self insert you want everyone to know.

aine has two "endings" on what happens when she sees him. one is the happy route where, yk, they get along, yadda yadda, romance, bonding, all that jazz. the second ending is... a little more unfortunate. basically she was a bit too late, because he's frostbitten now, and she regrets leaving her home and will probably stay at home more often now because the world is much more terrifying than she suspected. poor girl

irene is made with the purpose of wanting to ship with someone in the game yes - but the plot twist was that i was not actually crushing on no.rton at the time (he was just a fav) but found him to be a cute match with irene and i did just that. and then my dumbass fell for him shortly after HSAJKFHJAFHSFJSA im so doopid woawwww....

[starglitterz]

Quill!!! if it's not too intrusive, pls give us your top 10 y/n moments lol!!!!

HAHAHSKDJKJSD omfg who sent this in 😭😭😭 this is so funny tho i'll def do it (shameless plug btw, i have a whole series based on my irl experiences w romance called to all the boys i've loved before [totally original, ik] u should check it out!!)

these aren't in any particular order btw it's just the ones i rmb HAHA also i think these are pretty recent i tried not to include any of the ones i alrdy have in the series 👍

10. when i went for an anime con and i had just arrived, and after taking a pic w this one cosplayer his friend (in a kirito cosplay) came up to me and asked if he could princess carry me for a pic HSKJDK

9. when i visited my highschool for a festival thing and found out that one of my juniors had a crush on me (and still did??) and had told all his friends abt how cute and pretty he thinks i am HAHAHA (a total ego boost tbh someone should have told him that i am actually not all that)

8. being in a love triangle except it wasn't really a triangle it was like my two guy best friends had crushes on me at the same time and had a falling out over me (not to be amy dunne from gone girl but i did always want 2 guys to fight over me GOODBYE)

7. this one guy that was texting me and asking me on a date kept flirting w me and it was so stupidly lame that it was cute

6. going for my college orientation party and having a few guys ask me for my insta (honestly i had never expected this would happen I WAS SO KJASKJDKSJD ABT IT)

5. at the same orientation party some random older guy tried to hit on me so i ran away and this other guy i had met earlier was rlly nice and waited w me until my transport arrived and texted later to ask if i had gotten home safely 🥺 (the bar for men is like 700 feet under the ground)

4. at the anime con (same as earlier) i got kabedoned by this girl cosplaying gojo and she said i looked rlly cute and i nearly collapsed

3. HAHA I CANT BELIEVE I ALMOST FORGOT THIS BUT on my birthday i went on the bus to get home and the guy behind me was in my course, and he recognised me so we were talking for a bit until he realised it was my bday, and he literally asked the guy next to him to please switch places so we could sit tgt and he could wish me properly 😭it was so cute he had like golden retriever vibes HAHA and we were talking the entire time it was vv fun

2. yk that thing where u compare hand sizes but then they hold your hand HAHAHA that actually happened to me w one of my new friends 💀 he has rlly nice hands tho so no complaints here PLSKJWDKJS

1, ok guys now this one is some real life kdrama bs istg i felt like it was a movie while it was happening 😭 so basically the bus was pretty much full and i ended up sitting next to this rlly cute guy. and my brain was going 'damn i wanna talk to him', but i had to put my purse away first. so i was trying to put it in my bag, but it slipped and fell onto the floor and he was like 'oh!', and then i had to bend down and pick it up while thinking 'NOO this is so embarrassing he probably thinks im a dumbass'. and then i managaed to embarrass myself further 👍 guess what? while trying to sit back up again i literally hit my head against the chair in front of me and went 'ow!' out loud and the guy was like 'oh no are you okay 😭⁉' and i was like 'yeah... just super embarrassed HAHA' and we started talking from there KJSDKSJD i could talk abt this forever bc so much cute stuff happened but tldr he was like the total package but then i got ghosted BYE

ok thanks for coming to my ted talk as u can see i love talking abt myself pls feel free to ask more but i don't think i have any more romantic experiences atm 😭😭😭 i'm currently trying to manic pixie dream girl one of my guy friends in college so we can see how that goes ig LMAO,,, anyways thanks 4 reading ! interact w this post and give me validation please and thanks <3 (/hj)

[aeide-thea]

[consent in fiction, content warnings]

i started to make a post abt this earlier and then scrapped it, but like, long and boring details aside, i guess really what i'm still thinking about is the way in which content warnings are, probably inevitably, sometimes so insufficient as to be actively worse than nothing—

like, okay, the specific thing i encountered this morning was a fuck-or-die sex pollen fic tagged as 'no archive warnings apply,' which is obviously, uh, debatable, given that the trope is kind of inherently dub-con at best, but the author had tagged for 'sex pollen' and 'fuck or die,' so i guess those individual tags do give readers a sufficient-if-not-generous heads-up that, like, here be dragons or whatever… but then i actually read the fic in question, bc while i feel neutral abt the trope i've often liked this author's work in the past, and like, the actual consent issue that fucked me up a little was that the sex pollen wasn't just an organic phenomenon or lab accident or whatever, as often, but rather deliberately inflicted on the leads, and not by yr run-of-the-mill Evil Experimenters/Torturers/what-have-you, but rather by… the narrator's ex's sisters, as payback for… his ex's having broken up with him???

which, fine, whatever, people sometimes do fucked up shit and you can certainly include that in a story; but the love interest's reaction to discovering this is just to be 'amused,' while the narrator is like, i'm just relieved my ex is still willing to talk to me! which again, fine, whatever, people do shrug off serious violations of their autonomy out of a desire to maintain social bonds, that also isn't unrealistic or unreasonable to portray in a fic; but that entire aspect of the situation got literally less than 2% of the fic's whole word count devoted to it, i guess because we're in Romance Land where the only thing allowed to have actual emotional weight is intra-relationship developments, and anything outside that context is just meaningless scaffolding, even if in real life it would be a pretty fucking big deal, and probably pretty traumatizing, to find out your ex's family had literally poisoned you???

anyway, sorry, i guess i couldn't restrain myself from going into excruciating detail after all, but tl;dr it's just like. it frankly made me feel much weirder to encounter that plot point in a context where other, more familiar dubcon tropes had been warned for, because it made me feel much more uncertain that the author actually recognized it was an issue! i'd have preferred it if they'd just slapped an 'author chose not to use archive warnings' on the whole thing!

[cw for discussion of a fictional depiction of deliberately painful sex]

reminds me of a fic that fucked me up much more a while back, where a character had consented to sex and consented, too, to poorly-defined punishment, but the form the punishment ended up taking was deliberately-careless penetration that caused the character pain on purpose, and neither the character nor i were braced for that, and while i guess you maybe couldn't say it needed a noncon label, because technically both sex and punishment had been agreed to, it definitely was like. while you-the-author may technically have your bases covered here in a legalistic way, this was definitely a pretty deliberate bait-and-switch that was triggering both for the character it happened to and for me! and like. was it effective as a reading experience? honestly, yeah! i got an emotional journey out of it that really mirrored the character's—method reading, if you will. but do i still resent that author for it, literal years later? also yeah.

anyway i guess basically the thing is like. i'd much rather know i'm venturing into unknown territory and be on my metaphorical toes, than have situations like the above where like, everything is supposedly safely tagged, but the author's standards for that aren't the same as yours, and then something slides between the cracks to sting you?? like, i'm (hopefully obviously) not opposed to content warnings, and do typically provide them on this blog, but there's an extent to which it's like. a guardrail that gets dislodged when you put any actual weight on it is more dangerous, actually, than a wholly unfenced drop…

[cubedmango]

And just like that with the elevator scene and kurosawa teasingly using adachi’s powers to make him feel a little less burdened I fell into a deep dark kurodachi hole again sigh thank you sm for the subs though😭😭 I always wondered why the ‘I love you’ was muted like yes I would have ended myself on the spot if I heard it but I still did that after adachi’s reaction + kurosawa jumping on him so why did they spare me…

sorry abt pushing u into the hole again but i also pushed myself in by doing a full proper rewatch earlier so . kurodachi is inevitable we simply have to accept that now

i think. realistically speaking its probably for the same reason they didnt have a proper on-screen kiss which is Home Of Phobia of course (smth abt the actors agencies not allowing it is what ive heard tho ive never found a source on it lol) bc showing ppl getting gay married on screen is fine but a kiss and a direct 'i love you' is too much apparently??? at least we got the implications that both things happened so the crew probs wanted to include those fully and didnt get to for whatever reason. but also maybe they knew if we got those for real we'd pass away so they decided to have mercy on us

[unholyxvoid]

no you’re good! no worries.

i get you with the pdid thing. i’m pretty sure that’s the type we have too. i don’t think it can be osdd1b at this point with how little and rarely others front while i’m here full time. so i do get your struggle with that more than you could ever know. you’re not alone in that feeling. and i’m here if you’d ever want to talk about it.

speaking of that, i could give you my own discord or something if you’d want it. i just feel more open and like i can be myself more on anon! i’m really no secret even if i do have fear about things.

and back to introjects, i’m personally not one, but the creature who’s been fronting with me for the past… uhm… i’m not sure how many days is! it’s a vessel introject, which seems like the most common guy from the others we have found (i think it’s 3-4 including you guys). so i did say what i did in my first ask on behalf of him since bite did sent an ask to another introject earlier.

i’m rambling now, apologies, but yeah, thank you for existing openly. it’s a thing we (i) struggle with because i don’t want us to be looked at weirdly, especially in fandom spaces. it’s a scary world out here for systems and you guys are brave for being open about it. i respect you a lot for it. and also kinda thank you for your service (kinda joking). it helps me come to terms that we’re able to exist as we are too, and that we don’t have to hide if we don’t want to.

i’ve rambled again, sorry. we are sleep deprived whew. and also sorry if i skipped over anything you said, memory issues and tired :(

-maw 🪽

yeah i mean were also still figuring shit out , pdid just seems the closest to what we experience out of all the other types .

we have seen another vessel introject on tumblr yeah and i believe they got an ask from a iii introject at some point so with you included that would be three st introjects weve seen as well

im 'existing openly' because it makes it easier for me to maybe accept it ? or have some sort of written 'proof' and notes in a way ? its easier for me to share stuff here than it is to remember to write shit down when it happens in the notes app lmao and also experiences like this (you rn) , others like us sharing stuff are very important in helping me figure shit out and accept it (so thank you again for reaching out)

theres also a part of me thats like 'haha hehe i got iv here' LMAOFNDKF

no worries abt rambling tho you can yap all you want im always happy to get nice asks , and yeah you can def add me on discord , my username there is the same as it is here , you can be just as open and yourself there as well you dont have to hide yourself

[csbnova]

My Personal Blue Lock Writing Habits and Drabbles

someone asked if i write with a specific mindset for each character but erm…idk what happened to the ask bc my phone hates my guts and wants me to die so im just gonna explain it here. (also an excuse for me to yap abt my pookie bears)

so obviously there are different character types and different personalities duh duh duh but to me i always have to immerse myself in the way they think. I read the bllk manga (haven’t caught up yet get off my case) but i do like to do character analysis based off of what we get in the anime/manga, the official art, and the little facts we get from the author/on bllk wiki.

i guess it wouldn’t be too far fetched to say i do indeed do my research on the guys that i write for and it doesn’t help that i actually enjoy it💀 but to me seeing chars getting mischaracterized CONSTANTLY is one of the most infuriating things EVER especially if it’s a character that i’ve been a die hard fan of. (partially why i decided to start posting my writing) like bachira’s mischaracterization is wild to experience. no, he’s not always yelling or goofing off but it is often. no, he’s not a freak(like at ALL) who constantly talks about his monster in every conversation he has. yes, he IS a sweet little guy who would probably ask to hold your hand in a romantic way even tho he wouldn’t be scared to hold it earlier in your friendship.

idk i just think it’s weird when people write the most insanely off putting personality for characters that they probably have only seen hc’s of or misinfo for.

when i wrote barou’s texts, i had to think rlly hard abt it bc i know he seems like an arrogant guy (which he is ngl) but i think that’s only when it comes to soccer. in both the anime and the manga barou could be seen multiple times having calm conversations about growth and how his abilities affect the way he plays. he’s also got two younger sisters which i personally believe could make anyone become more mature (said with experience). ive done the same with multiple characters, even with smaller details. like, in my rin fic that im writing, there’s a small detail about his favorite drink. i couldn’t just say a random beverage bc i got so upset that i couldn’t come up with a drink for him that i looked up what his favorite would be😭

yk another small thing i did was make the itobros texting styles similar to each other. sae’s includes both capitals and correct punctuation while rin’s doesn’t capitalize anything and just uses accurate punctuation (at least i hope it’s accurate). i did that to portray how similar the brothers are despite their respective differences. i also happened to know that rin would rather die than admit that and that knowledge has to be shared somehow.

idk i just hate seeing my favs being mistyped especially since it’s been happening even more recently (cough gojo fans cough) but im also a stupid nerd(yes ik those contrast each other) who’s very passionate about this so i don’t really care what anyone has to say i genuinely enjoy producing content abt characters that isn’t inaccurate or rage inducing and my one and only hope is that i get it right 🙏

anyways that’s it basically. shout out to anyone who actually read this bc i probably wouldn’t have 🔥

should i start a series? i have the urge to but idk💀

no! i am NOT posting this instead of finishing my writings… 🤥