#my younger sibling and i were literally screaming with joy while we were watching it

[buddiebitch]

in the midst of all this terrible news ryan murphy saw fit to grace us with a tiny sliver of shimmering light

thank you ryan murphy for feeding us this week

[bluwails]

Ive been real inspired by @chipper-smol 's au. I find myself snickering at Ghost/feral's antic mainly because I have young siblings and in my home there is never a dull moment. Child antics are literally my life rn and I cant help but relate.

So while on a nostalgic trip i was struck with this poorly written fic. And I hope you enjoy.

No edits because we die like men!

The time for rest had asserted its hold over Hallownest again as bugs wound down from the days toils. The servants and knights had quietly excused themselves to their personal quarters and the kingsmoulds that marched dutifully down each hall had slowed to a silent pace.

The white Lady had taken in the idea to walk the palace before retiring to her personal quarters for the evening. Dryya, her most respected and loyal guard, walked quietly behind her as she stiffled a yawn much to the white lady's amusement. She had dismissed her hours ago to rest but she stubbornly stuck to her and insisted on being around to protect her on her leisurely stroll.

" Your majesty, you need not worry for me. I will-" Dryya gaped stiffling another sign of encroaching sleepiness," -be with you until you retire to your bedroom."

She still felt fascination bubble under the surface as she observed her; a warm aura seeping off of her.

As a higher being they will never need these things like rest or daily meals. But they merely adopted the actions to blend more with the society around them. Just like her dear wyrm, Things like sleep were never on the forefront of their mind. They could spend decades awake and unbothered by the need. But they made resting a habit to demonstrate that one should rest after work.

Shuffling down the halls toward her favorite veranda befor she heard an unfamiliar scuffling. It was hurried but small. Most likely a small bug.

"Behind me your majesty." Dryya hissed pulling her nail from her side her alert instantly raised. As late as it was not many would be awake, much less in the halls working so fervently.

As they turned the corner they spotted two familiar horns working quickly with a brush and bottles of ink.

It was the feral vessel.

" You cheeky Sqwib! " she screamed shocking the little vessel. Their small hand dropping the brush they'd use to vandalize the walls. "You are at it again!" Dryya huffed indignant at the vessel as she marched over, sheathing her nail, and quickly bonking them between the horns.

" Do you know how you terrified the Queen?" She growled seizing their ink colored hands. " and to top that, you dare vandalize the white palace yet again!"

"Dear knight, there is no reason to be so harsh. " the white Lady softly appealed. "The walls can be cleaned and the ink replaced but the trust from a child cannot." She calmly lectured using a branch to pet the vessel.

"You are to lenient with them my lady." She huffed releasing them. Dryya was no fan of the feral vessel. Time and time again they'd watch and suffer their pranks. Many a time her nail was stolen only for it to be returned muddy or, miraculously, bent at the tip.

She was not the only one of the five knights to have their belongings weaseled from them and returned in less then favorable conditions.

"They are just being a child Dryya." WL cooed as she slowly squatted in front of them. "Soften your heart towards them. If only for me."

The knight reluctantly huffed again as she faced away. "Praise the Queen's endless patience, you little tyrant, you are saved for now. "

The white Lady smiled warmly as she looked the small vessel over. At this time they were meant to be tucked away in bed. The schedule their father made, though strict was optimize for their healthy growth. She suspected in full that the pure vessel had curled themselves into bed without a second thought, while their sibling ran through the halls causing their daily commotion.

In all honesty, she found their outbursts charming. Each trick, prank and shenanigan they pulled continuously showed her how lively they truly were. When they'd arrived from the abyss with their sibling, she lamented at their sight. Seeing them as nothing more than walking corpses until she heard of what would honestly sound like a farce. They'd barely stepped foot into the white palace before they entered a meeting between the dreamers, with no command or reason, and unleashed the most ungodly revolting smell. Shocking and disgusting the entire gathering forcing them to vacate the room entirely.

When her wyrm ranted about them that evening on how they indignantly, stomping their tiny grub feet and blantly ignoring him, forced them to clean the entire room alongside the retainers as punishment she could not help but laugh in an odd mix of relief and joy releasing a knot in her chest she did not know she held.

Looking again to the picture on the wall it was of clearly her dear wyrm. Her giggle chimming like bells as she observed it further. It was simple and childish as but it was an accurate representation of her wyrm. His elegant crown like horns now simple zigzags, their fangs drawn large and silly, with their tongue poked out in a not very gentlemen manner. (She suspects this is how they saw their father when they ranted at them.) It was crude, hurriedly painted, and was encompassed by tiny hand marks and had all the makings of a goofy Caricature and she wished she could save it.

"I see the throws of art beckoned you from your deep sleep small one." knowing full well they did it to mess with the king again. "maybe we should have Lurien tutor you to bring out your talents?" She questioned aloud watching the vessel furiously shake their head from the corner of their eye.

"Then what brings you from bed?"

The child twisted at their fingers looking down as they snuck peeks at her face.

They signed quickly keeping their ink covered hands slightly in sight. But It obvious it was something else. It was no news to her that they held many things back from them. And the curiosity of what it could be danced in the back of her mind, but she refused to force them anymore than they'd allow.

"You know you require rest in order to grow." She purred gently as she angled her small one's mask toward her.

Their mask tilted in a way that mimicked a pouty huff. Her heart swelling at how cute they were. She could not help but poke a small amount of fun.

"So you do not wish to grow anymore?" She questioned exaggeratedly tilting her head and placing a branch to her cheek.

They seemed to freeze at the and mull the thought around in their head. To her, this was the sweetest gesture. She'd remembered when the two vessels first molted and got their bearings. Though they thought no one was watching, she caught them do a small jig in celebration of their new body. Wiggling their newly formed fingers, touching their more angled faces and observing their budding wings.

" I'd say you'd want to." She whispered calmly retrieving her handkerchief to clean them.

"How can one so small hold such large secrets?" She hummed wiping the pink ink from them.

The vessel signed, a cheeky air to them as they flexed their arms nearly rupturing her heart from cuteness alone.

"Dryya please get someone to assist in cleaning up. " with a bow Dryya reluctantly left grumbling to herself.

"Now as much as I would love for you and to stay up and get into all kinds of mischief. I would say its time for bed. " She cooed admiring their clean face.

The vessel gestured again with more emphasis.

"I see." She hmmed making a show of thinking of what to do. In reality she had an idea of what to do. Somewhere deep in her memory was a song that. She could not remember the face that sang it to her but she remembers it working nearly every time. Ushering her to sleep. "Then would you care to accompany me on the veranda?" She asked pointing to the large glass door not far behind them.

Nodding they streched their arms up towards her. Obligating the gesture she swept them up in her branches as she walked slowly to the door.

she allowed small blooms to bloom on her creating a pleasant perfume before sitting on her stool already set up outside.

The vessel signed again gesturing at themselves.

Chuckling she squeezed them close to her. "Not essentially. You are of two pale beings and void." She murred quietly; her light warming them as they sunk into her lap. "You don't really need sleep. But its good because it helps you grow." She hummed wrapping her branches around them.

They gestured wildly again wiggling their fingers above their head causing her to erupted in laughter.

"Yes." She snickered "maybe if my wyrm slept and rested more they would grow as well I will be sure to suggest it to them later." Feeling the small ones shoulders shake in signs of laughter she hugged them.

" you remind me much of him in his younger years." She thought aloud as the vessel shook their head furiously. " well the both of you refuse to sleep on time so I imagine you two are similar in that sense." She mused as the small threw a small tantrum.

"Very well, shall I sing you something to assist you to sleep?" They nodded sinking back into her lap, placing their head on her chest.

As they sat, staring out into the lush garden and flickering lumaflies below she hummed a quiet tone shutting her eyes calling upon the memory.

Her branch rubbing small circles into their child's back as her voice trilled lyrics long thought lost to her:

Lay down your head and I'll sing you a lullaby

Back to the years of loo-li lai-lay

And I'll sing you to sleep and I'll sing you tomorrow

Bless you with love for the road that you go

May you sail far to the far fields of fortune

With diamonds and pearls at your head and your feet

And may you need never to banish misfortune

May you find kindness in all that you meet

May there always be angels to watch over you

To guide you each step of the way

To guard you and keep you safe from all harm

Loo-li, loo-li, lai-lay

May you bring love and may you bring happiness

Be loved in return to the end of your days

Now fall off to sleep, I'm not meaning to keep you

I'll just sit for a while and sing loo-li, lai-lay

May there always be angels to watch over you

To guide you each step of the way

To guard you and keep you safe from all harm

Loo-li, loo-li, lai-lay, loo-li, loo-li, lai-lay

Loo-li, loo-li, loo-li, lai-lay

Loo-li, loo-li, loo-li lai-lay

Loo-li, loo-li, loo-li lai-lay

Loo-li, loo-li, loo-li lai-lay

Loo-li, lai-lay

Only the soft breathing and the feeling their body relax and their shoulders ease indicated they drifted off.

"Sweet dreams my small one."

Thanks so much for reading. In all honesty i have only played hollowknight for about a month and half and im already so invested in the fandom. (I'm still getting my butt handed to me by ogrim. Please dungy boi stop throwing sh!t at me long enough so i can hit you. You broke all my fragile charms alreday!-🥺😢) You guys are so creative and fluffy and have no problem hurting my tender sensibilities.

For those curious the song is called sleepsong by secret garden. I used to listen to it ages ago before bed.

[raslolin]

۞𖣔 𝗍𝗐𝗈 𖣔۞

Silva walked through the hallway silently with his footsteps while holding the lightweight box in his hand.

No matter what's happening in the manor right now he doesn't care.

Even when his partner was calling for help.

The more he walked the louder Kikyo's scream is.

'Listening to her screeching is like satan propose her a marriage by torture.'

Thinking back about what Kikyo said and how she behaved.

Kikyo screams to his face to his back for a week after his son's runaway.

"Killua just ran away! At least do something instead of watching he ran off!"

"The hell were kind of thoughts are in your mind that time do something! Tell me at least!!"

"THIS IS DISAPPOINTING!"

"Hunter exam!? What is he doing there."

"WHAT?! There's for fun!?! What kind of-"

He shuts his mind off about his wife it seems to make him less stressful for now.

'About Killua.. Illumi will deal with him.'

'This will get more and more annoying..'

Narrowing his eyes slightly as he reached the outside in seconds.

'Time to visit.'

He feels the book was the main problem of it all when in reality it's the opposite.

'This must be solve.'

Zeno fastly reach for the knob of the library door slammed it open as the butlers followed him inside.

To the butlers horrified expressions, he know it's time for him to step out and never mind about this business again or maybe just get out of this household full of nothing but his daughter in-law screams.

Ready to walk out of the library he stops.

'In the end I can't avoid it.'

Signing to himself he turned to the staffs and ordered them out.

"All of you get out."

His raspy voice were filled with nothing but dissatisfaction, disappointment and the irritation he's feeling began bubbling inside his body faintly.

After all of them out of room he waited and waited.

'Where's Milluki? I heard him I'm sure..'

"Mama!"

Milluki arrived with sweats and breaths hitching every seconds his eyes still on the ground.

It took a minute to bring himself back together again. His eyes widened in surprise.

"She's dead."

His grandfather said his face still the same as ever.

"What do you mean grandpa? Mama's still breathing."

Milluki's voice sounds relieved after he saw his mother's body twitching for help.

Silva's now arrive in front of the destination he supposed to be visit two time years ago.

Ready to knock on the door only for the door itself opened by a mere maid.

"Master is expecting you mister Zoldyck."

Without anymore words the maid leads him to the beautifully decorated detail wooden door.

Hands up to knock on the door.

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

No answer.

He knocked again three times louder.

Still no answer.

Without hesitation he opened the door only to find a grey haired man sitting in the chair facing his way to the door.

"Why didn't you open the door?"

Silva asked clearly still confused and not used to his friend's weird behavior.

"Why? Well if you came here before marry that hysterical unstable bitch everything would go fine!"

"That golden child of yours won't runaway from home if you were here six years ago but.. something important must be an exchange for an unfit able heir."

The man slowly whisper the last part quietly that Silva can't make out other than his stupid endless rumbling insults for the pale blonde hair's man.

'He needs to stop saying this.'

Sighed to himself disappointingly seeing his old friend look interest or with suspicions to the object in his hand.

"That's what you want me to talk about?"

The grey hair man stood up from his chair walked past him only to lock the door behind Silva.

In the blink of his eyes only to see his friend sat on the same chair again with another chair on the opposite side of the table.

Walked up to the another side of the table by his large two steps pulled the chair out and sit.

"Have you had any breakfast yet?"

"No.."

"Great you god damn son of a bitch!"

"..."

"And tell your wife to learn her manners about getting into people business and being persistent."

"Of course."

"Let's have some breakfast first before we get to the point."

His friend whose seemed happy after leashed out his raged to him for not teaching his wife step out of the line.

Silva could only nod in agreement hoping his friend wouldn't talk about much he himself made wrong choices in his life.

A needle man face who's running at steady speed in the boring looking group of people.

The sounds of the man's phone ringing loud enough only for his ears, as the crown he's in spilt up suddenly.

What a luck he has today! The perfect time to report as he feels the vibration of his phone ringing once more.

He slows down his running as examiners in front of him all vanished to the air.

Leaving him and the other boring looking examine who looks ready to give up on everything.

Pulled out a needle from his ear suddenly appears in front of the young girl who barely feels her surroundings.

'Perfect around my height.'

Pierced a needle on her head as he speed up taking out all of his needles around her neck to her whole face.

"Follow the examiner-"

"Oh! And use the radio when you're near the destination act your best behavior."

Throw the radio at the zombie like pose person as she catch it.

The disguise girl who walked like a zombie slowly developed to humanly robotic running.

He walked to the other side of the forest find a perfectly spot for a private talking in the trees.

Pulled his phone from pants pocket he push the round button accepting his family's member call.

"Hello?"

"Oh finally you answered!"

"You do know where I am right now. What is it?"

"Uhh we need you to be here as soon as possible after the exam."

"That's doesn't matter after the exam I have business to go."

"Well forgot about your business with that annoying clown or with the brat, mama's not in good shape however it's like god's favor her a miracle she's survived."

"Of course Killua went too far with her than you."

"That's not what I meant, her neck literally twisted to the other side and still breathing."

"What do you mean mother's neck was distorted but she's still alive?"

The monotone voice were hinted with confusion.

"That's what I mean. I don't know how she's alive either-"

His younger brother voice filled with fascination.

'Mother's not in good shape, Milluki shouldn't be thinking about that cartoon show he always watch and compare the situation with it.'

Frowning to himself dissatisfaction clearly showed what kind of emotions he felt.

Before he open his mouth tell his brother to get straight to the point.

"And don't worry she's in good hands."

The sounds of the younger one voice now filled with relief.

"Really? Thank god, tell me more."

"Well yes while mama's screeching were covering someone's chanting."

"Chant?"

"Yeah, grandpapa said it was like echoing the hallway if it's possible the whole mountain could hear it."

"Then?"

"Then- uhh I can't tell you because I don't know. I meant we don't know and after the exam we need you to be here."

"What's the hurry?"

"I don't know okay! At least act like the brat is now your second priority that's dad's order!"

"Of course if what that's father says so, anything more?"

"Grandpa said it himself and he said he heard me shouting before I'm at the library. He said my voice were either inside the library or outside but not too far from the room and I can't shout too loud or my throat gonna be sore."

The younger sibling spoke fast but enough at least for him to catch on.

"After Gotoh investigated the others it seems only everyone's heard my shout not what grandpapa heard."

"You know father said to not believe in what grandfather says."

"I do. What about Killua?"

"He's fine."

"Okay."

The call between two eldest siblings ended.

'Oh I forgot to asked about father. But from Milluki's voice I think it's enough.'

'If it more possible instead of what something unbelievable like a woman who dressed in laced as they say. It's just illusion but what if it's not? There's proofs especially the ones that had been confirmed by Nen-users and science.'

'The time Killua ran from home I wasn't there.. From what I heard the wounds are deep enough but he only managed to hurt her face. Killu's height are not enough to reach her face probably her neck and chest.'

He then took a deep breath long enough to relax his body after the news he had been informed too.

'I wasn't informed correctly am I? I'm sure I am. The butlers aren't stupid enough to break any rules. If her neck twist to the other side but instead like almost cutting down a tree and Milluki always use words that's not fitting the meaning when he's angry.'

'As much as I remembered grandfather conversion between chairman's Netero...'

'Looks like it's something more important than Killua. Impossible. Unbelievable.'

'If he knows Nen before mother could've die.. and possibly Milluki too. A double edged sword situation.'

Lean on the tree he's been standing for almost 10 minutes letting out a hot breath from his mouth.

"This is troublesome than I thought."

"Hm~"

His attentions is now on the bright pink haired man who just carried the other man on his shoulder steadily.

'Killua's friends? Not good.'

"Looks like your house is full of problems now ❤︎ "

The clown magician whose now full of joy seeing his motionless friend struggles.

"Do you need any help, Illumi?"

The bright pink hair man chuckles loudly.

"Can you not interfere my business?"

"Well I can't help it when you talked about that."

Sounds of multiple footsteps past them quickly, Illumi took it as a sign to give himself privacy somewhere else.

"Hisoka, we will talk about that later private matters."

With that the jet black hair man gone only to find him running in the crowd of examiners blending perfectly.

"Okay~"

'Time to pick new toys ❤︎ '

Hisoka looks up the sky only to find the weird cloud shapes display to his own golden eyes.

He pulls out a card from his pocket pants flip the card pattern side to his eyes.

The beautiful pink pattern make him feel at ease like it always was in the past.

Slowly life his hand up to sky challenging himself by keeping the card's pattern blind his sights.

As his arm reached it's limit stretch he flipped the card symbol side to his view.

'Hearts?'

Slowly slide the card to the other side of his view comparison seeing the shape hearted cloud in white to black colored that's above him everywhere he stands.

'Will it be other shape next time I wonder..'

A card were sent to his way fastly but not fast enough to hurt him.

'Someone's watching!'

'First time every been attacked by a card..'

'But who would use it as a weapon against me?'

He pull the card that's stuck in the tree he’s leaning on.

"Oopsie~! almost hurt you ❤︎"

He glanced at the unconscious glasses man whose on his shoulder.

"But-! You're not important that much right now ♠︎ "

Pull out the card by his hand that support his arm holding the small glasses young adult.

Throw the beautiful pattern card to his other hand's up to the sky.

Much to his expectations eyes widened in shock.

A person wearing a lacy card symbols dress swaying on the swing happily.

The ropes that's on both of person hands are torn suddenly by pulling down the forced to the ground.

Gender of the person fastly revealed as the cloth from her head can't keep up sensitivity falling from the sky.

There's no scream of panicking. No laughing. No crying. Nothing just nothing.

As the woman falling now nearing Hisoka she's use her two hands cover his eyes before her head smashed to the soft grass ground.

*TNGH!!!*

𝙶𝚘 𝚋𝚊𝚌𝚔? 𝚈𝚎𝚜 𝙾𝚛 𝙽𝚎𝚡𝚝? 𝚈𝚎𝚜

[sixx02]

Fear

Ren was terrified, this was possibly the second most frightening thing that he’d ever been through.  The only other thing he could remember was the day that he lost his birth parents.  He did his best to still his body as he watched in fear, his semblance in full blast.  His mind even while doing it’s best to still itself, couldn’t help but rush through worst case scenarios, the worst thing?  He could only watch as Nora spasmed on the ground before him.

The day had been going so well, the weather was great, and there hadn’t been any indication that a thunderstorm would hit.  But, that was just his luck he supposed, well his and Nora’s...  They’d finally been allowed to use real weapons, or at least simplistic metal weapons.  Though he used a bow and a dagger, so he had the last change in his repertoire, curved dull studded arrows and a simplistic dull metal dagger were what he was all he had been allowed to use for now.

Nora had been the most excited, she’d been given a metal headed hammer, which had been crafted for her small frame.  Everything had been going on like normal, they’d trained till their aura’s had been in the red like usual, and were preparing to concentrate on mental training when the weather took a sudden turn for the worst.  For the few months that he’d known Nora, she’d been the type to love storms, it always made her more excited.  Which had been saying something because of how already excitable she was.

This time however, things went bad, really bad.  The storm had been on them before they knew it, and before they could pack up, a bolt of lightning from the heavens had hit Nora.  Normally she’d been hurt, but still fine due to her aura, but because they hadn’t been able to practice aura regeneration today they’d all still been low.  And that, that had been enough to put her on the ground. Her body, though unconscious was anything but still.  She convulsed at random intervals, her fingers would twitch, her frame would shiver, and her head would bounce periodically.  It seems that the strike had been enough to put her down.

Verde had been the first to try to get to her, but she had been stopped by Saphron.  “Stop!  Don’t touch her!”  Verde’s body had stilled at the words, fear taking her over, tears began to form.  Indy, Goa and Violette however began to cry almost instantly.  With out thinking Ren had reached to his little sisters, pulling them into a tight hug much like they had once done to him.  He needed to be strong, he couldn’t use his semblance much longer, and he definitely couldn’t risk passing out here, no he had to be strong for his family.

Charles and Jeanne, Papa and Mama Arc, they were doing their best to keep everyone calm, while Rouge had already dialed what he assumed to be an ambulance.  Though Ren feared they wouldn’t make it in time, he did his best, he really did but he couldn’t help it.  Tears started to form, he wanted to be a good older brother, but how was he supposed to be when he was losing another family member?  Still he tried, he tried his damndest to hold on, for the little ones at least.

Though, he noticed that everyone had stopped talking, instead only sobs could be heard.  Specifically sobs coming from Nora’s location, it was Jaune.  Though, it wasn’t Jaune himself that Ren noticed, no it was the fact that he was glowing, his eyes shut as he reached out for Nora but still didn’t touch her.  Soon the silence permeated to even the tears, and the sound of the storm above drowned out as almost everything stilled.  

Jaune’s white aura began to change, the color soon tinted yellow, no it was gold, gold like the Arches which formed the Arc’s family symbol.  What however really caught everyones attention was the fact that his aura was seeping into Nora.  No one was sure what was happening, not till Nora’s body stilled.  This had the initial effect of frightening everyone, though as everyone stilled their breathing they noticed Nora’s picked up.  Soon her eyes began to flutter open.

“What... what happened?”  She was still dazed, this much was obvious.  The first to respond to her sudden awakening?  It was the boy next to her.

“You’re okay!”  Jaune’s voice was the trigger everyone needed to come out of their stupor.  Ren slowly let go of his sisters as he stared and started to walk towards Nora and Jaune.  Though before anyone could get closer a yelp of pain and surprised fluttered about.

Jaune, in his excitement had attempted to hug Nora, only for him to suddenly be shocked and thrown back.  Thankfully, unlike Nora prior his aura took majority of the blow and he could only blink in stunned silence.  It was then that all eyes fell on Nora, her body was coursing with a blue hued static.  Her eyes sparked to life, as the soft turquoise flashed an electric blue.  Down her body, what appeared to be marks, veins which spread from her neck down beneath her clothes and out to the tips of her fingers through her arms began to spark.  Electricity seemed to be literally coursing through her veins, or at the very least through the lightning burns which had formed since she had been struck.

“Whoa!  Whats... what’s going on?!”  She asked, half in fear and half in excitement.

It was Papa Arc that spoke first, “Well I’ll be... I think my heart may stop but damned if I won’t accept it.  Seems like you and Jaune both unlocked your semblances.”

Both children blinked and stared at him, “SEMBLANCES?!”  Both of them echoed as they stared at themselves.  Jaune’s body still glowing brightly, unsure of how to turn it off, while Nora’s coursed with the power of lightning.  

“Okay... okay but uh how do we turn it off?”  Jaune’s timid voice asked, panic clear in his rushed tone.  

It was surprisingly Ren that answered, “Breathe... both of you stay calm and think of nothing...”  He had been playing with his semblance for a while, and he remembered what happened when he had first unlocked it helping Nora.  

As the siblings looked at him, they both nodded, they trusted Ren.  Their breathing slowed and soon the glowing stopped.  Nora’s was the first to calm down, the static began to recede allowing a clear view of the new veiny burns which spread through out her body.  It was interesting, the way that they stretched and spread, one could think they were ugly, but on Nora?  Ren couldn’t help but think that it accentuated her usual charm.

Charm?  Where did that come from?  Shaking his head he watched as she stared blankly at her arms.  No one knew how she’d act, but in Nora’s typical fashion she quickly jumped up and threw her arms into the sky.  “THIS IS AWESOME!”

She smiled brightly, beaming in great joy.  “These look so cool!  And I didn’t even have to get a tattoo!”  Then, she did something unexpected, she walked towards a tree, drew her arm back and then punched it.  This caused everyone to look in shock, last they remembered she had nearly no aura and the lightning should have taken it out.  What happened next should have been a scream of pain, instead her fist crashed into the tree, slamming into it and driving a whole all the way through.  Next, a flash of sparks splintered from her fist and carved their way into the tree, almost lightning it in flames, almost.  

“THAT IS AWESOME!  I FEEL LIKE I COULD WRESTLE An URSA!”  

“Please don’t!”  Came Saphron’s worried voice as she ran up to Nora, pausing ever so slightly before touching her to make sure it was safe.  Once she wasn’t blown away, she proceeded to wrap Nora into a tight hug.  “We don’t need another near death scare just yet.”  

She was soon joined by the younger girls all who ran up to and proceeded to pin Nora to the ground in a pile of hugs.  Ren himself, though, decided to walk to Jaune.  

“How are you feeling?”  

Jaune’s eyes darted from the pile to Ren, he was clearly in shock, everything was happening rather fast and he wasn’t sure if he could handle it.  “I... I don’t know honestly.  I FEEL, great... but I don’t feel good... that doesn’t make sense.”  He shook his head as he stared down, his hands flashing one more time.

Ren simply nodded, “No... NO I understand.”  Soon Ren found his arms around Jaune, holding him tightly, tears began to flow freely.  “I know I don’t need to... but thank you.”  

Jaune simply responded by hugging Ren, soon Rouge and their parents began to hug them.  

“Well... this has been an exciting day... we’ll, we’ll have to figure out what your semblances are later, for now let’s rest.”  Jeanne, Mama Arc, stated as she let go of her children.  

Ren followed her gaze and noticed that the rain had gone.

___________________________________________________

So for those of you curious, Nora’s semblance is slightly altered due to being unlocked via Jaune’s semblance.  Her body will generate electricity, making her a stun gun, while being able to absorb additional electricity to make it stronger as well as amp her own strengths.  Jaune’s will largely stay the same, but he’ll definitely have more control over it, he’s going to have fun combinations with Ren and Nora in the future for different things mind you.  

Fun fact Nora now has lightning burns, they’re cool looking, but I wouldn’t recommend trying to get some yourself...

[linyi-is-dreaming]

The Drop Of A Tear - 02

BTS V x Y/N (Reader)

Summary:  Tae meets a woman who is very manipulative. Before he even notices anything, she got him around his finger. He decides to leave his wife Y/N and his four kids to start a new life with the new woman. This perfect house of cards that he had just started to build, starts to unfold as she starts to show her true face. Piece by piece it makes him feel sick. Tae notices his wrong doing as his house of cards start to fall apart.  Regret and hate towards himself makes him wish to turn things around. Will he be able to safe his house of cards and to get back what he once threw away? Is Y/N able to forgive?

CHAPTER 02

“What about this gift? I know she would love it!”, Y/N’s daughter says as she holds up another toy to show to her mother. The smile one her daughter’s face is so full of joy and that hurts even more when she has to deny her request.

“I am sorry. But that is also above the money I have available for her birthday gift.” Y/N repeats this sentence for the eighth time now and it starts to become depressing for everyone. She could not buy those candies nor the snacks her kids were asking her for at the grocery shop as she does not have enough money to spend some extra money within this month. The more often she had to think about it, the more she dislikes her own voice within her head. She could not blame her kids though as they are used to get a snack or a candy of their own choice if they were behaving well. Her son already found a toy that he wanted to have so badly, but Y/N had to deny him his wish as well. It started to show slowly that her son will not take ‘no’ for an answer any longer.

“I hate it! We only bring one gift even though it is supposed be a gift from each guest.”, her second oldest child says angrily. “When dad was with us, we could buy whatever we wanted. He always gave us what we asked for when we were behaving well…” The last sentence that dropped from her son’s lips feels as he cut her open. Nervously, she looks around if anybody else heard their conversation. Nobody seems to stand close enough to hear them it seems as no one shows any reaction to her son’s words. Y/N starts to put her hair behind her ear with her right hand quickly as she licks her lips in embarrassment.

“You need to calm down! Do not speak with me like that!”, Y/N scolds quietly before her voice disappears whilst she keeps looking into his eyes. Those eyes which looks like they have been copied from Tae. For a moment she forgets what she wants to say and just looks at him. “I am sorry.”, she whispers ash she hugs him tightly. In the end he was right, she replays the scenarios in her mind once again as she remembers how shopping with Tae used to be like. Tae always bought them whatever they asked for. He had only denied their wishes a handful of times.  

“But it is the truth.”, her son explains sadly. “I did nothing wrong today.”

“I know sweetheart. ” The truth is truly hurting her more each second. Y/N already took a job which pays enough to pay the bills and to buy them whatever they like every now and then but lately she struggles. The little thought of asking her friends for a little help is pushed to the side quickly as she reminds herself that she would have to pay them back sooner or later. As if that would not be enough, her boss informed her already that she should look out for a new job as it looks like they will close this company for good. Life seems to become more stressful each day and to pay for all the ingredients has become harder as she tries to save money for any possible upcoming emergency. The oldest child looks at Y/N as she waits for her mother to comment but her mother only takes out the purse and starts to count the money inside her wallet. She watches her as she takes the hand of her younger sibling. Y/N knows, if she goes only ten bucks over her budget, there will be less food on the table. One thing she never wanted was to think about buying what they want or giving them enough food. She starts to calculate how much she could save if she would eat less and buy them the toy instead. “Fine.”, Y/N sighs. “We will get her something a little bit more expensive… What about the last toy you showed me before you showed me this one?”

“Yes! She will be super happy.”, her son comments. Cheerfully he starts to run to the spot in which he found the other toy at. Y/N follows him with her other kids quietly with a fake smile on her face. That her son is suddenly much calmer makes her worry if Tae did not spoil them too much.

“Mom? Mom?”, her oldest asks when she sees that her mother is getting lost in thoughts. “Are you okay?”

“Yes, sweetheart. Of course, I am.” Her daughter did not believe her but she pretended as she would. Once the gift is picked, she feels bad as they ask for ice cream on their way out. But she has to deny them an ice cream as there was literally nothing left to pay it with. “I do not have that much money with me. But we have some cake at home-”

“Dad would always buy us ice cream bars after shopping.”, her second youngest says. “You are so mean!”

“Stop speaking to mom like that! You are so stupid.”, her daughter scolds as Y/N puts the younger ones into the car.

“Sweetheart, get your brother into the car and take a seat on the passenger seat.”

“Okay.” Y/N closes the car door as her phone vibrates. A new message from Tae appears on her phone screen. Tae wrote that he wants to talk with her and that the divorce is on ice. She does not continue to read the message before she looks back at her kids. Worries if Tae has a new strategy is going through her mind. Without spending too much time thinking about him, she locks her phone and gets into the car. As soon as she is in the car, she starts to wonder again, why he puts the divorce on ice. This could not mean any good, she fears. She fakes a smile as she turns the key to start the car.  

“Darling, do not look this sad.”, Y/N says as she sees her daughter looking depressed. “Next time, when we go back to the store, I buy you all something. Just not this month, okay?” The only answer that she receives is a nodding. “Are you so sad about it?”

“I am not sad.” A long sigh escapes Y/N’s lips as she tries to figure out what might be going on. It did not stay unnoticed by her that her daughter seems to be sad about the situation but no matter what she says or does, it does not seem to work. Carefully, she turns her body as much as she can towards her.

“What is going on then? Do you want to talk with me about something?”

“Is our situation like that only because of dad?” This question takes her by surprise. As Y/N looks for an answer her daughter looks at her with a nervous expression on her face.

“It has nothing to do with your dad. Why are you asking me this question?”

“I am only asking... Will he be at the party too?” Damn, Y/N thinks. She spent no moment to think if Tae would go to Jin’s daughter’s birthday party. Deep in her heart, Y/N hopes to not see him there. “You do not know either do you?”

“I am sorry, sweetheart. I do not know.”

“I hope he will not come.”

“Why? I think daddy will be happy to see you.”

“I do not care.”, her daughter answers shortly as she looks out the window. “I do not want to see him.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“I just want to get home...”

“Maybe this will cheer you up. Uncle Namjoon will come over with his kids and with his wife later on.”

“Why should that cheer me up?”

“They will bring pizza and you get to play with their kids. You did not play with them for a while.”

“No, thank you. I would rather be in my room on my own.”

“You are basically hiding in there lately. Is there really nothing you want to talk about?”

“I am not hiding anywhere.”  

“Can we please get home?”, her son questions. Y/N smiles at her son as she starts the motor.

“Yes. I am just about to drive off.” Y/N’s eyes move from time to time towards her daughter as she stops the car at a red traffic light.  “You know you can come to me if something is bothering you.” Her daughter nods but says nothing in return whilst her eyes look out the window.

💧💧💧

“Hello. Almost on the dot.”, Y/N greets Namjoon’s family at her front door. Namjoon’s kids are not waiting a moment before they go inside. They might wave and say a ‘hello’ but before she can say anything else, one of her kids is already downstairs to invite them for a game.  

“Better a few minutes too early than to late, right?”, Namjoon jokes as his wife hugs Y/N.

“How are you doing? You sounded stressed on the phone.”, his wife questions as she moves away from her.  

“No, it is just the typical shopping thing.” Namjoon’s wife nods as she throws a look at Namjoon before she walks in.  

“What was this look about?”, Y/N asks as Namjoon stands directly in front of her. “Do I have something on my face?”

“Oh, that? No.” Namjoon licks his lip quickly before he takes a deep breath.

“Something I do not know about?”

“Well, we thought maybe we should get the toy for Jin’s-”

“Stop right there.”, Y/N commands when she looks to the ground. “I already know what you are trying to say. Let me save you some time by telling you the answer. No, but thank you. We already organized a gift this afternoon.”

“We just want to help you.”

“I know. Thank you but no.” With her eyes searching for her kids she closes the door as soon as Namjoon comes inside. “Kids, come downstairs!”, Y/N screams. It did not take long before three of her kids appear in the dining room.

“Where is the princess at?”, Namjoon wonders. “Is she not hungry?”

“Since the shopping, she did not leave her room. She said she rather wants to be alone...”, Y/N sighs as she looks towards the staircase. “I will get her.”

“No, stay here. I will get her. She wanted to show me a drawing anyway.” Namjoon offers. He does not wait for an answer as he already makes his way to the staircase.

“Head up, Y/N.”, Namjoon’s wife says as she pets Y/N’s upper arm. “Everything will get better. Sooner or later.”

“Can I have it sooner?”

“I hope it for you. Take a slice in the meantime!”, she says as she hands her the pizza. “Do not worry so much about it. Kids take longer than adults to handle situations.”

“I know. It is just that she does not want to see her father anymore and if she says that... What if Tae uses it against me? I mean, what if-” Y/N stops her own words as she feels the tears coming up.

“Let’s talk about it later.” Y/N nods as she looks at her son who is trying to feed pizza to her youngest child. She starts to imagine what it would be like, if there is no sound of a child in her house. How it must be like, to wake up without preparing breakfast for them. Immediately she shakes her head as she fakes another smile.  

💧💧💧

Namjoon could already see someone peeking out of one of the bedrooms as he keeps walking upstairs. Of course, he knows who it must be, but he says nothing until she shows him with a hand move to come into her room. “Hello Princess. We brought-"

“Uncle Namjoon, I need your help.”, Y/N’s oldest daughter says as she watches Namjoon coming upstairs to say hello. Quickly she runs back into her room as she waits for him to come inside. Namjoon would come over to their house to let the kids play together for the afternoon, that is what Y/N told her but she does not believe that this would be the only reason. Her daughter was not really happy about having guests but on the other side she knew that her mother would be in a better mood as long as they would have guests in their houses. What Y/N and her family did not know is that Namjoon’s wife wanted to make sure that Y/N was indeed alright. In their few visits, everything looked alright but they noticed that the snack jar and the fruit plate are barely filled as they usually would be. It also became visible that Y/N is suffering financially harder than she must have shown so far. Somehow, Namjoon’s wife could not stop to worry for Y/N and her kids. Especially the oldest two are behaving different than usual, which did not stay unnoticed by her. Lost in thoughts, Namjoon looks up as he hears her voice once again. “Uncle Namjoon! Can you help me?” Namjoon smiles as he walks towards her.

“The princess needs my help? What an honor.”, he answers as he sits down on the floor next to her.

“It is about mom. I asked uncle Jungkook to help me, but I think he cannot help.”

“Do you want me to talk with Jungkook?”

“No, but maybe you can you help me instead?”

“You will need to tell me what you need me to do before I tell if I can do it or not.”

“Okay. Do I have to explain everything or just what it is about?”

“Let’s start with the main one. If I need more information, I will ask for more.”  

“Okay. I need your help, because mom cries herself to sleep after she brought us to bed. She covers her red face with makeup and I do not see her happy anymore. Today, she counted the money for the birthday gift a few times before we chose one. I wished I would have never asked her to let me go to the damn party...”

“Honey, your mother has just a lot on her mind at the moment. I am sure it will not be for too long.”

“But when will I have my happy mother back?”, she asks as her voice starts to break. “I hate him so much.”

“Who? Me or uncle Jungkook?”

“I hate my dad.”, she says as she wipes her tears off her face. “He killed my mom. We only go through all of this because of him. Only because we do not matter to him anymore.” Those words bring extra attention to him as reminds himself about his wife who told him about reasons why a kid would choose the word ‘kill’. When he married his wife, who already worked as a psychiatrist at the time, he learnt a few things from her. Especially when kids say those kinds of things. Therefore, he tries to speak slower to understand this girl’s mind a little more.

“But mommy is alive. She is just not doing well-”

“No, she is not! My real mother never cried herself to sleep. She would never wear so much make up and would not worry about how to save enough money. I want my mom back!”

“Listen, if you want to talk about this, you might want to speak with my wife. Aunt-“

“I do not need to speak with anybody! I want everything being normal. Mom thinks we do not notice it but we do! I hate my father for it!"

"Did you tell your mom how you feel about this situation?"

"No. She worries too much anyway and my siblings still want to see dad. They do not understand it as much as I do...."

"I will try my best and talk with her.”, Namjoon sighs. “Maybe I can find some kind of solution with your mother.”, Namjoon says as he pets her hair. It is visible on her face that there is more than what she says and that makes him curious. “Something else you would like to talk about?” Her head moves slowly as she looks back at him.

“Can you make sure that dad stays away?”

“You do not want to see him?”

“No. He killed my mom! Why would I want to see him?”

“I know it hurts to see your mother like that, but you should not use the word kill.”

“How else would you describe it?” Namjoon does not know how to describe it as it is not his place to explain this situation to a child that is not his. When she notices that there will be no answer, she wiped her eyes and takes some paper from the shelf. “Forget it.” With the paper in her hands she walks over to the small table which she usually uses for doing her homework. At first, he tried to stay calm and collected but Tae’s actions are making this disaster even bigger. If this little girl already noticed that something is wrong, would it not mean the others know too, he thinks. Maybe she is wrong and her siblings started to understand the whole situation. Worriedly he gets up whilst he keeps watching her.  

“What are you drawing?”, he questions as he walks up to her. The girl does not answer him, but also hides the picture from him as well. “Am I not allowed to see it? Last time you mentioned a drawing that I should take a look at.”

“You cannot help me. You cannot help my mom. What are you even doing here?”

“I came over with my kids, I thought you might want to play together. You have not seen each other for a few weeks, maybe you want to come downstairs to play with them?”

“No, I want to be alone. Get out of my room.” Her voice sounded angry and as she would be in pain at the same time. Namjoon has been very lucky so far, he had only been the nice parent so far. Never had he had to put up with an angry child as this is usually his wife job to do. He feels helpless and confused as he becomes insecure how much he can say to not cross the line of parenting a child which is not his.

“If that is your wish, I will respect that. We are downstairs if you change your mind.” He waits for a reaction which does not come. “Are you not even hungry? We brought some pizza.”

“I am not hungry.”, she mumbles. Slowly he nods to himself before he starts to walk out of her room. At the doorframe he stops for a second to look back at her. She seems to be still drawing but what he does not see from his side are the tears which drop onto the paper on which she draws her family without her father being happy.

💧💧💧

When the house finally becomes quiet again, Y/n starts to close all the windows. What she did not expect, is the view from her window. She can see Tae’s car is parking in front of her house. Full of anger, she takes her keys and runs outside to confront him. Tae can see her running towards his car quickly but he does not stop his doings. “Put that back into your car and get lost!”, she commands in a quiet but strict tone. Y/N tries her best to be as quiet as possible to not get any attention from anybody. The least thing she would need, is to become the crazy screaming neighbor in the neighborhood.

“No.”, Tae tells her coldly. “I will not do that.”

“No? Did I stutter? Did it sound as I would stutter to you?” Tae throws a short look at her as he closes the car door. “I said take this with you! Whatever that is, get it back in your car!” Before she can open his car door, he locks his car. ��Seriously? Put it back in and drive off!”

“It is not mine to keep.” Tae starts to walk pass her with a bag on each arm as she tries to keep up with his speed.

“What are you talking about? We left nothing in your house when we left.”

“It is nothing that you left in my house. It is something you left at the stores.” Y/N’s face drops as she asks herself if she might have lost something within any store. Even though nothing that she had with her could be as big as the two bags in Tae’s hands are. Tae stops to walk for a moment when Y/N jumps in front of him.  

“Why would you know if I left something at any store? You were not there! We did not even lose anything whilst we were shopping.” Tae walks pass her once again towards the front door as he ignores her words. In the moment when she notices that he wants to go inside, she realizes that she might took the keys with her but she forgot to lock the door. Y/N starts to walk up next to him to be faster than him again. “You are not going into my house! Do you even hear me? I said you are not allowed to walk inside my house!” Tae only throws a look at her and opens the door as she tries to block the entry. “Do you not think you have done enough already? Get out before you wake the kids up!”, she whispers as she follows him inside.  

“I guess the kitchen must be somewhere over there?”, Tae asks as he keeps looking around. It hurts him to see how small their house is. He expected the house to be small, but not this small.  

“It is none of your business as you will leave right away!” Tae does not pay any attention to her once more as he lets himself not be misled by her. As he walks into the kitchen, he puts the bags on the kitchen counter and starts to unpack his bags. “I do not need your money. Put the groceries back in your bags and go!”

“You might not need it, but our kids do. As long as I am their father, it is my responsibility to take care of them.”

“Did you forget what you did the last six months? Where were you when one of them had a surgery? Where were you when ‘your’ kid had a little school performance? Where were you, when the kids were scared about their sibling? Uh, right. You were nowhere to be found!”

“No one had a surgery this year.”

“Oh really? Is that what this bitch said to you?”

“What are you talking about?”

“She picked up your phone when I told her that our son needs to get his appendix out immediately.”

“The older one?”

“Seriously?” She could not stand it any longer to see him unpack all kind of groceries. In a moment rushed in anger, she puts the stuff back into his bag. For a moment Tae stops his doing and watches her but when he sees that she puts almost everything back into the bags, he moves quickly towards her.

“Stop!”, Tae yells as he takes both of her wrists. “Stop that!”, he scolds even quieter. Tae steps even closer towards her until he can see that her anger is wetting her eyes. He knows that Y/N is not a person to scream at someone in anger, she is that kind of person who becomes quiet and only reacts with wet eyes. Y/N shows all signs of anger which makes him let go of her wrists. “Listen, I did not know about it! Okay, I, I messed up! How often should I admit it?”

“Until it is in your brain that you suck as a father and as a husband.” For a moment Tae continues to unpack the bags until her words were spinning too much in his mind. Slowly, he puts the chocolate bar that he took out of his bag and puts it on the kitchen counter. She can see that these words hurt him a lot but it felt good to finally let it out. He stares at the kitchen counter as he tries to calm himself down. Tae knew she would not be happy to see him but that she seems to become colder every time is something he just cannot accept. Deep in his heart is a little knife that starts to move when she says those words. When the knife starts to move, it hurts even more. His pain and the anger are directed to himself, for the hate he starts to feel for himself.

“Where do you keep their snacks?”, he asks once he calmed down without looking at her as he continues to unpack the bags.

“Why are you changing the topic?”

“I know what a fucking idiot I am and I want to change that. Look, if you guys are with me or not, you belong to me. We are one family! I will not give it up.”

“You gave it up already! Do not come here and pretend everything is fine! Because it is not. You can buy them a castle and buy them whatever you want, but you will never get back what we gave you.” Tae stops to move as he looks at her eyes.  

“I am well aware of that.”

“Are you?”

“God damn, Y/N! I regret it all so much. Can you not find a little spot in you which would give me another chance to make it right? Just a little spark?” She starts to shake her head as she walks two steps back just to walk three steps back to him.  

“We loved you. We supported you. We were there through hard times and through everything you went through! The kids did not deserve what you did to them nor did I. You come into my house and expect me to forgive you? Another chance? For what? Just so you can fuck it all up again? No, we are done! Stop pretending as we would will be alright with a snap of your fingers. It is not going to happen.”

“I am not pretending everything is fine. What I did is something I cannot take back even if I wanted to. I can only change myself to be a better father and to be a better husband. Give me just one chance, I will make you see that I mean it from the bottom of my heart. You guys are everything to me, please. Just let me show you how much I mean it.”

“Good luck.” Y/N just wants to scream and yell for Tae to leave the house but she does not want to cost a scene which could wake up her kids. Nervously, Tae licks his lips as he turns his body towards her.

“Look, I want to try my best to make it alright again. Especially with you! You are my other half and I regret what kind of pain I must have cost you but, I will make it right.”

“You can try whatever you want, but we are done. You cannot do anything to change what I feel for you. I just want you out of my life!”

“Y/N-”

“No, it is my time to talk! What we had, was nice as long as it lasted. I do not trust you anymore, I just cannot do it. I do not love you anymore. I only hate you by now.” Those words hit Tae like gun shots. Even though it hurts to know that she feels this way, he tries to ignore her words to get his message through to her. Y/N does not feel better about what she had just said. She loves him and she hates herself so much for still loving him. If there would be any chance to make these feelings go away, she would do it immediately.  

“I am aware that you do not trust me… But I will show you that I am sorry for the biggest mistake I made in my entire life.”

“We do not need you anymore. We are doing well without you.”

“Really? Because I heard you say multiple times today following sentence, ‘that is over the budget’ or ‘I am sorry. But we only have this amount of money for this month. Next month I will buy you an ice cream’. I was near you guys all day and no one of you noticed me.”

“So, you are following us now, huh? Oh my god.”, she sighs as she cannot believe her own ears.

“No. I saw you at the grocery store and after that I just needed to-”

“Did you come here to tell me I am a bad mother?”, Y/N interrupts.

“No, not at all.” Tae steps closer to her but stops when he sees that she starts to walk backwards. “Let me help you out. I feel like a ghost without having you by my side. I want my family back! Let me help you at least financially-”

“Uh, got it. Now I understand...”, she says as she looks over all the stuff he put out on the counter. “Now I know what you are here for.”

“What? I cannot follow-”

“You want me to use your money just so that you can use it against me! Just so you have the custody to yourself as I am not able to feed my kids. Trick someone else!”

“No. No. No! That is not why-”

“Uh uh. Yes! She truly colored you with her colors. I would have never thought you would trick me!”

“This is not a trick! I swear it is not a trick. The divorce papers... I told my lawyer to back up as I do not want a divorce anymore. I even wear our ring again... I want to give us another chance. Whenever you are ready, I will be ready to give more than I ever did.” As he sees no change in her facial expression, he continues to unpack the last few pieces of his grocery shopping. “I do not want the divorce to happen.”

“Oh, a wind of change.”, she says sarcastically.  

“It is obvious that you are struggling. The kids have barely any sweets in here and only the minimum of daily food is in the house. You obviously lost weight because you are not eating enough.”

“Who are you to judge? Do you only come around if you cannot find somebody else to put your dick in? Is that why you are here? Now that you do not have her, you try to get into my pants or did somebody reject you? I could imagine that you also would start to play her stupid games as well. They do not work on me.”

“Y/N-”

“Is that why you are here? Did that remind you that you left your family or are the nights alone finally make you see that you are such a douchebag?”

“Stop that finally!”, Tae screams in frustration. All this anger is too much for him to handle any longer. “I deserve to be beaten until I cannot get back up, you are right for giving all your hate to me but I realized that I do not need what I thought I wanted a few months ago. What I really want is my family. You are my family! I do not want to see you starve, sad or depressed about not getting what you want. I do not want that, not at all.” A silence is everything that follows while she tries to figure out how much honesty lies within his words.

“Then why did you kill my mom?”, their oldest kid says. No one noticed that their daughter had come into the kitchen nor did anybody see her. With a fast movement both turn their bodies towards their daughter. “Why did you kill my mom if you want us back? There is no family without mom.” Y/N and Tae needed a second to realize what their daughter just said. In disappointment he looks to the floor. When he notices that Y/N is walking towards their child, he watches what she will do next.

“Sweetheart, please go back to bed.”

“Why is he here? I do not want him here.”

“Your dad brought some snacks.”

“He is not my dad.”

“But sweet-” Y/N could not even finish her sentence before her daughter starts to run back upstairs. Y/N lowers her head as she feels her pain in her neck becoming stronger. “I-”

“It is alright. She already told me that she hates me and that she does not want to see me around you anymore and that I should stay away from you.”

“She said that to you? When?”

“Whilst we were eating ice cream in the park.”, Tae sighs. “I might better get going, it is late.” Y/N follows him to the front door without saying anything else. Y/N’s mind starts to spin about her child’s words whilst she looks at Tae’s back. Even though she wonders why Tae did buy all this stuff, she cannot help but wonder how it must have felt to hear when your own child tells you to stay away. “Good Night.”, he wishes as he walks out the door. His words bring her back to reality as she looks up.

“Bye.” Just a moment before the door closes, Tae snips his fingers and turns around.

“I forgot one thing.” Y/N looks at him to show him that her attention is on him. “You are doing a great job by taking care of them. If you need me to pick them up after school or any help to bring them to school, let me know.”

“Thank you but I do not think that it would a great idea.” She almost closes the door as Tae holds the door open.

“One last thing, why are you taking Jungkook to pick up the kids? If it is not a good idea to do so, why do you let Jungkook do it?”

“Did he tell you that? What does he have to do with it anyway?”

“That is what I want to know from you.” Y/N’s mind start to spin around his words for a moment but she could not figure out why he would ask it. “I just need to know why you lean on him instead.”

“Why do you not ask him? He is your friend as well.”

“Because I want to hear it from you.” Nervously she starts to lick her lips. “Please, tell me why you did choose him over me.”

“I have my reasons. One of them is that he is the only friend of yours who does not have any responsibility. No matter what kind of help I need, he just helps me.” Tae nods whilst he plays with his car keys.

“Do you take money from him?”, he asks as he looks up at her. He can see that she did not think to hear this question by him but still, he feels as he would need to know. After seeing them, hugging in the car, seeing Jungkook going after her, it makes him suspicious if she wants to replace him. Something, Tae would never want to happen.

“Is everything about money for you?”, Y/N asks. “Are you trying to call me a whore? You are so pathetic! What did I ever see in you?”

“I did not mean it like that!”

“Of course, you did not mean it... I cannot believe that I thought for a second that you care about us again.” With a fast movement she shuts the door close. With her back leaning against the front door, she does not see that Tae is walking to his car disappointed. He wanted to have a conversation but not with an ending like that. Both of them are disappointed about how badly their conversation had been. Y/N wanted to know why he is putting the divorce on ice. Just as well as what his reason is to say that he wants his family back. It just sounds too unrealistic to her. Tae on the other hand wants to know so badly why Jungkook is with her so much lately. The urge to call Jungkook and to talk with him personally, starts to build up inside of him. But the urge to speak with him personally becomes unbearable the longer he drives as he calls his number before he starts to drive into his direction.

Y/N hears her phone ring as she walks closer to the living room. To her surprise, Jungkook is calling her. As it is already late, she wonders if something might have happened. With a weird feeling in her stomach, she picks up her phone. “Hello?”

“Hey. Everything alright?”, Jungkook asks with a sleepy voice.

“I think I should ask you this. Where are you? Were you drinking?”

“I’m in my bed and no.” A yawn interrupts his talking. “Your daughter called me and said that Tae is at your house. She wanted me to make sure that he is gone.”

“Yeah, he brought some snacks for the kids. Why does she ask you to make him leave?”

“She said you were fighting...”

“Forget it. It is not that important.”

“If you say so.”

“I am sorry that she woke you up. Good night.”

“Wait!”

“Yeah?”

“She said that my name was a part of your heated discussion.”

“Tae asked if you are paying for us.”

“What did you say?”

“How would you react when someone says ‘do you take money from him’?”

“Probably punch him in his face. Stupid question but typical Tae.”

“I know.”, she takes a deep breath. “I will tell her not to call you right away.”

“It is fine. She can call me when she needs something.”

“Thank you. Bye.”

“Bye.” Y/N takes a few steps towards the couch when she hanged up the phone. She feels too tired to go upstairs to her bedroom. Which is the reason why she takes the pillow and the blanket off the chair and lies down on the couch to get some sleep.

💧💧💧

When Jungkook went back into his bed, he tries to fall back to sleep. But he receives one text message after the other. Curious he looks at his phone. Two missed calls and five messages by Tae. Before Jungkook could even read one of the messages, his doorbell rings. He stretches his body as he hears the doorbell again. “One moment! I am almost there!”, Jungkook screams loudly as he walks towards the door. “You?”, he asks as he sees Tae standing in front of him. “What are you doing here?”

“I think we need to talk.”, Tae says as he tries to walk inside but Jungkook blocks the door. Immediately, Tae’s eyes look into Jungkook’s eyes. The cold in Jungkook’s voice shows in his eyes. “Do you not want to let me in?”

“I do not feel like I want to talk with you. Go home.”

“I just want to know what you are planning to do with my family. I am trying to understand everything but somehow you are a part of it. So, will you talk with me or not?”

“Tae, it is almost two in the morning and you are seriously asking me this question?”

“I do not care how late it is! Please. ”

“Are you drunk? Or is it the anger that Y/N had sent you away from her house?”

“Who told you that I was at her place? Is that the reason I was not able to call you?”

“You will not leave, huh?”

“I want answers but nobody seems to think about to even give me any answer.” Jungkook sighs as he touches his face. With a deep sigh, he starts to nod his head towards Tae.

“Come in. I do not want have a conversation with my neighbors tomorrow about you.” Jungkook opens the door widely to let Tae in. Tae puts off his shoes and hangs his jacket onto Jungkook’s wardrobe. “I guess you want a cold-water bottle as well...”

“Please.”, Tae says as he walks into the living room. Jungkook could see Tae from his kitchen but he could still not understand why Tae would come to him for answers. No matter what it is, he just wants to go back to bed. Just a few minutes, he tells himself as he takes the water bottles from his refrigerator.

“So, what do you want to talk about first? Kind of strange that you are coming to me for answers.”, he asks as he hands him the water bottle.

“Let’s start with why she thinks that it is alright for you to pick up my kids from school and not me?” Jungkook takes a big sip of his water before he takes a seat on his armchair.

“Did you not figure it out by yourself? I thought you are cleverer than that but on the other hand you have proven how dumb you actual are.”

“I am not dumb. I just cannot see the full picture. Do you really think I would ask you if I would have figured it out by myself?”

“I do not know what is going on in your mind lately. But to answer your question, you noticed that your daughter hates you, right?”

“I heard it a few minutes ago again.”

“She did not tell me that she told you...”

“Who did tell you what? Did Y/N call you?”

“No, but your daughter did.” Jungkook’s eyes start to feel heavy as he moves within his chair. “She asked me to make sure that you would leave their house.”

“My daughter asked you, to kick me out of my wife’s house?”, Tae asks in confusion.  

“Yes.”, Jungkook answers as he places the water bottle on the floor.  “Wife?”

“She is my wife.”

“Well not for long.”, Jungkook comments quietly. Tae’s eyes shoot quickly towards him which makes Jungkook a bit nervous. As the nervousness has the best of him, he clears his throat. “I mean, what about the divorce? Did you change your mind?”

“I do not want to get the divorce. Not anymore.”

“Uh, you realized how expensive it will be...”

“That is not the reason! I do not want to lose them but no matter what I do, it turns out to be a bad decision...”, Tae explains as he moves his hands through his hair. “How long is Y/N struggling financially?” Jungkook eyes widen as he notices that Tae is getting more and more impatient the longer, he waits for him to answer. “Jungkook, for how long?”

“Why are you asking me?”

“Out of everyone else, you will know more. So, how long?”

“I do not know for how long, but she is not even able to pay a lawyer... I guess, maybe six or eight weeks...”

“Why did you not tell me? Do the other members know about it?”

“What do you want me to do? What were we supposed to tell you? She does not want the money from us. Believe me when I say, we tried.”  

“Did you pay any bills for her?”

“I only buy her and the kids something from time to time and that is what everyone from us is doing. Which would be bringing her food. That is the only thing she accepts. I tried to pay for her rent when she did not have a job. Well, that did not work out either. Her stubbornness will be her own grave one day.” Tae starts to despair more the more he hears. He wants the truth, but that the truth would hit him hard is something he did not expect.

“She did not accept the groceries I bought for her...”

“Can you blame her?”, Jungkook asks Tae as he notices the guilt in Tae’s face. “You are really a good actor. I am not even sure if you are acting or not...”

“I am not acting.”

“Really? Looks like it.”

“Do not tell me you do not believe me either.”

“I just wonder why you are suddenly so nice to her. I mean, look at what she had faced the last few months. Would you trust her if she did the same thing to you?” Tae wants to answer from the bottom of his heart but somehow, he cannot find an answer for it. “Hey, sleep here on the couch. We can talk tomorrow.”

“Maybe you can tell me why you are trying to be kind after treating me like shit lately?” Jungkook gets up and grabs his water bottle before he turns back to him.

“Because I saw her tears. I saw the anger and all her emotions in her eyes. I feel sick thinking about her pain whilst you were with this bitch. You were having a good time whilst she did not even want to get up in the morning just to brush her teeth.” Tae gets up as well as he looks at Jungkook. “The first two weeks, she did not want to do anything except of staying in bed and hide from the world just because of you. All these internet comments on your upcoming divorce, all the comparison between Y/N and this woman... I should have recorded it to show you now, how painful it all became for her.” Tae walks towards Jungkook to scan his eyes to see if he is telling him the truth.

“Were you there the two weeks?”

“What do you think? I packed my stuff and stayed with her and ‘your’ kids. You can thank the other members and their wives as well. They came over from time to time to give me a break. I thought I will break along with her.” Tears start to build up in Jungkook’s eyes as he remembers the many questions he had to answer to her kids. Questions about why their mother is barely coming out of her room and questions why their father is suddenly not with them anymore. “Do you have any idea how many people you were hurting with your actions?”

“I am sincerely sorry. I would take it all back if I could.”, Tae apologizes with a broken voice. Seeing Jungkook in tears makes him teary as well. “I should have known better, but I was an idiot.” Tae pulls Jungkook into a hug but Jungkook does not hug him back. “I am trying to make it right.” Jungkook pushes Tae away from him as he shakes his head.  

“How? You shattered her heart so badly! You destroyed your own family. A family that you always talked about, one that you dreamt of since I have known you. You had it all, everything you dreamt for. But you gave it up. You simply gave it all up. For what? I hope you see how idiotic this is! You could still be living in this perfect bubble but no, you had different plans... How could you even do that to her after her being there for all of us? She did not deserve to be treated like that by you, the press...”

“I have an idea and I hope it works.”

“What kind of idea?”

“I saw how she declined the toys that the kids wanted to buy for Jin’s daughter birthday party.”

“So?” Jungkook’s mind starts to spin as he sees Tae smiling. “Do not tell me you will go to the party.”

“I will and I bought all the toys she denied them. I will pretend that it is from them and make my kids smile at the birthday party. I will make them think that she bought them. I will try to talk with her at the party tomorrow.”

“Sure, sure. How in the hell do you want to do that? Huh? If she yelled at you as I was told, you would only make a scene tomorrow.”

“I will find a way. I want her back. I want my family back.”

“Fine. Keep thinking about it and when you are done, get some sleep.”

“Is it okay if I stay?”, Tae wonders.

“I just told you to go to sleep.”

“Thank you for not throwing me out. I actually thought you would do that...”

“Whatever.”, Jungkook says as he walks towards his bedroom. “Do not do anything stupid otherwise I will kick you out.”

[mayve-hems]

Wrapped Around Your Finger | Michael Clifford

Type: IMAGINE | ONE SHOT | MULTI CHAPTER

Summary: After hearing her brother gossip that Michael is wrapped around her finger, Maverly Hemmings decides it’s time that she knows if he really is wrapped around her finger.

Word Count: 5.0k

Note: If you would like to request a one shot / imagine / story prompt then I am accepting requests currently and I would love to take them! This has also not been proof read, just editing for spelling errors. I hope you enjoy!

Warnings: Cussing, smoking, implied smut

-

Michael Clifford’s fingers dug into the plastic of his red XBOX controller as he twisted the joystick around to face his best friend's characters. He dug a pickaxe into Luke’s character, forcing Luke to respawn without any elements he had in his Minecraft inventory. Michael let out a spurt of laughter into his microphone, letting all of his friends hear him.

“Sucks to be you now, doesn’t it?” Michael asks Luke. Just an hour before Michael went on a homicidal mission to destroy Luke, Luke accidentally shoved Michael off the edge of a cliff and onto stone blocks that ended Michael’s Minecraft life. “Hemmings!” Michael screamed into the microphone. Ashton winced from Michael’s loud voice, regretting turning the volume of his headset up high to hear Luke’s whispering.

“Shut up, Clifford!” Luke whispered into his microphone. Luke’s least favorite -and favorite- siblings lives in the room right next to his. Maverly and Luke agreed that after midnight, Luke wouldn’t scream during video games, and Maverly wouldn’t wake him up in six hours with a bucket of cold water. Maverly also wouldn’t be loud if she was doing something like playing video games -Maverly pretends to be Jack Hemmings on a lot of video games- or listening to music. After Ben and Jack graduated, the twin Hemmings were left to disagree with each other. Luke took his brothers’ room, and Maverly was finally by herself. “Don’t make me get May in here to kill you a thousand times over.”

Michael laughed. “It’s Minecraft, bro, now Call Of Duty.”

“Suck my dick, Clifford,”

“Hey!” Ashton whined. He placed a few more blocks of dirt down into his optical illusion island. He created the realm by himself for when he had been struck with boredom and the inability to actually do homework. Michael logged onto Ashton’s account a few weeks ago and discovered the replication of H.H. Homes Murder Castle and the not-so optical illusion he was attempting to create. Michael whined until Ashton shared it with everybody. “Don’t cuss.”

“Fuck off, Irwin,” whispered Luke.

Michael finished his arrangement of a villager hotel made for absolutely nobody, with purple stained-glass windows. His Minecraft character ran away from the hotel before turning around to make sure he’d moved enough so he could see the entire building on his TV. White quartz outlined the outside thirds of the hotel while orange cement outlines the floors of the middle. Three-by-three windows are the walls for each of the eighteen apartments, showing the single red bed next to a furnace. Michael made every single floor grey, except for the lobby of the hotel. He made the lobby floors oak wood with a jungle wood-plank counter.

“Okay bet my dudes,” Michael says, setting his controller down after viewing the hotel. He’s satisfied with how it currently looks. “I think I’m going to go to sleep.”

“That’s gay,” replied Calum. “It’s barely two, Pussy,”

“Nah, dude,” Luke interjected. “I should probably sleep too. When May falls asleep early, she wakes up early. I’m not fond of having soaking wet clothes.”

“Pussy,” Calum muttered.

“Same,” Ashton paused his game, already starting to log off. “I want a cheese toasty.”

Calum groaned. “I hate all of you wimps.”

They all said their goodbyes and insults before logging off, leaving Calum playing Minecraft by himself in his own realm. Michael opened the sheets of his bed, ready to fall in between the duvet and mattress. Luke shut off his TV and attempted to navigate his way through his bedroom in the dark. He stumbled onto his bed, banging it against the wall. He’ll hear about that from Maverly in the morning. Ashton snuck into his kitchen and began to make one of the best cheese toasties he’s ever tried.

Michael looked through memes on his phone before falling asleep. He stumbled upon ones from his favorite band and let out little spurts of laughter at the inside jokes. He swept to the next meme, ready to laugh again. Tapping against the window above his bed distracted him from reading the meme. The orange-haired teenager glanced at his window, seeing nothing wrong, before looking back at his phone.

Tap . . . tap . . . tap.

He looked at the window again to see a small rock striking the glass and bouncing back to its origin. Michael waited for another to hit the window, and when it did he opened the frame to stare out at the culprit. A curly-haired girl with a leather jacket and ripped skinny jeans was holding a bunch of pebbles in the palm of her hand. Without thinking, she pitched another one at the window, almost hitting Michael in the face. He was suddenly wishing she wasn’t the pitcher of their softball team.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Michael called out to the golden-haired beauty. She resembled her brothers a lot in personality and looks except in her own little way. She was the youngest of the Hemmings kids, but she knew how to hold herself as if she were the oldest. Ben and Maverly compete for control . . . a lot.

“You coming down or what?” Maverly asked through a snicker. She spoke as though it was obvious; I’m throwing rocks at your window so you’ll come down and visit me. What else would I be doing? In certain angles, you could see how she also resembled her mum more than her brothers. “Hello? Mike?”

“Luke said you’re sleeping,”

“And you say you’re not a nerd,”

“I’m not a nerd!” Michael protested.

Maverly reached into her pocket for a cigarette. The boys aren’t stupid -it’s completely obvious that Maverly’s breath smells like cigarettes every so often- but they keep the secret from her family. In return for keeping the secret, she does assignments for them that they’ll fail otherwise. “You were just playing Minecraft with my brother for eight hours straight,” She stuck the butt of the cigarette between her lips and flipped open the Zippo lighter. She lit the end of the stick before sucking in the smoked and pulling the cigarette out of her mouth. “I can leave if you want me too. Just thought we could do something fun tonight.”

Michael considers her offer for a moment. “I’ll be down in a second.” Michael jumped into a pair of jeans off his bedroom floor along with a tank top he ripped out of his dresser. He slipped into sneakers and a snapback before bolting down the stairs and out the back door. Maverly is flicking ash off the cigarette when Michael reaches her. “What do you want to do?”

“Go to the beach?”

“You literally called me out of the house at two AM . . .” Michael pinched the bridge of his nose. “. . . to go to the beach?”

Maverly rolled her eyes. “If you don’t want to go then you don’t have to,” She put the cigarette back into her mouth for another drag. She offered it to Michael, the one of the group that’s never smoked anything before, and he accepted it. The blonde watched her elder friend figure out how to smoke. He took a deep breath of the smoke before sporadically coughing up smoke. Maverly laughed. “Your decision. Take it or leave it.”

The group jokes that Maverly has Micahel wrapped around her dainty finger, which is absolutely true. Michael denies his crush on the Hemmings girl and claims that they’re just friends. Several times, Michael has dropped whatever task he was working on just to hang out with Luke’s twin. Though their hangouts only lasted a few hours in Luke’s basement with a game of Guitar Hero and a bowl of popcorn, he’d still do anything Maverly wanted to. “Let’s go,”

Maverly went to take back her cigarette but Michael flinched away. He shoved the end back into his mouth and took in a deep breath. Maverly laughed and pulled another out of her pocket. “You’re so innocent.” Maverly giggled. “I’m going to end up corrupting you, Clifford, and your mum is going to hate me.”

“Babe,” Michael said before taking a drag off a cigarette and leading Maverly to the fence gate. The Clifford’s don’t live too far from the Santa Cruz boardwalk and beach -just an hour drive- which has prompted a bunch of midnight beach visits from Michael, his family, and his best friends. It’s always been normal for Maverly and Mali-Koa to tag along with their brothers to the beach. Michael’s never gone with just Maverly to the beach before. “You’re not going to corrupt me, don’t worry.”

“Whatever you ‘wanna believe, Clifford,” Maverly chewed on her lip piercing. Maverly and Luke were at Calum’s house when he prompted a tattoo idea to his mum. A beautiful one- his sister's name tattooed on his arm. Maverly sketched a design for Calum to go off of, and Joy Hood signed the document for teenagers that wanted to get tattoos. Maverly pulled her wallet out of her pocket while Calum was receiving the needles ink and asked for a lip piercing. Luke got one too. Liz Hemmings had a heart attack. “That eyebrow piercing-”

“-Is because Luke has a lip piercing and Cal ‘n’ Ash have tattoos,” Michael finished. He took another drag of his cigarette. Maverly stopped walking towards her Jeep and turned to her friend. “What?” Maverly slapped a tattooed area on Michael’s arm. Michael looked down at his now-reddening arm to see what her problem was. He understood that she meant the ink underneath his skin. “Shut up.”

Maverly giggled.

“Luke is such a pussy,” Michael dropped the rest of his cigarette on the ground and crushed it with his foot. “His brothers and friends have tattoos. Hell, his own younger twin has a damn tattoo and he still won’t get one.”

Maverly shrugged. Underneath her leather jacket, the one that matches her older brothers’, she has an entire sleeve of tattoos sitting on her skin from her wrist to her shoulder. A beautiful feather with her brothers signatures in chronological order starting from the stem to the middle point where blue baby footprints start walking to the end. Above the rainbow-shaded feather is the quote ‘Die with memories, not dreams’ delicately written in Liz’s handwriting. The chain of a pocket watch holds onto the top of the feather and wraps all the way around her wrist once then loosely wrapped around her forearm once until it’s right below her elbow. An exact replica of Andrews’ old pocket watch, down to his full name engraved on the glass. The arrows point to the time Maverly was born. Between the feather and the pocket watch sits a sunflower mixed halfway with a yellow rose; in the middle of both flowers are bother of her great-grandmother and great-grandfathers signatures. That whole configuration was her first-ever tattoo; she sat still for several hours just for that.

“Why doesn’t he just get a tattoo with your parents or literally anyone?” Michael asked. “You have a twin tattoo already, he just needs to match it.”

Liz and Andrew got small tattoos to replicate their youngest daughter. Liz got the feather Maverly has, along with all of her kids' signatures in chronological order with six blue baby feet and a single pink pair walking towards the end of the. Hers was shaded with black instead of a rainbow, though. Andrew got the pocket watch wrapping around his arm as a father-daughter tattoo just like Liz and Maverly had already done. Everyone hypothesizes that Luke’s just afraid of needles.

“He’s a pansy, my friend,” Maverly unlocked her Jeep and reached for the drivers' side door. She hopped in and pressed the clutch to the floor. The key turned in the ignition to which Maverly changed the gear to reverse. She waited for Michael to put on his seatbelt before pulling out of his driveway. Maverly enjoys having a manual transmission Jeep Wrangler; Luke is less likely to drive it. She pointed to the fraction on her wrist bone for Michael to see. “He just has to get one-half tattooed right there and the twin tattoo would be finished. But no!”

-

“I’m starving,” Maverly complains, gripping her steering wheel until her knuckles turn white. Their hour-long drive has been delayed almost another hour due to road construction. You’d think the highways wouldn’t be as busy at literally four-in-the-morning but Maverly has been stopped in the same spot for roughly fifteen minutes. “Michael!” the tall girl screams, startling her passenger.

He stirs from his sleep and rubs his eyes. “Pizza.”

“There won’t be a pizza place open for like three more hours,” Maverly realized she’ll be stopped for a while longer so she shoves the gear shift in neutral and lets the vehicle idol while she searches up stores around their current area. Nothing seems interesting. She notices a Walmart sitting near the boardwalk. They’ll last a while longer and stock up with food there. “I’m bored.”

“I’m tired,”

Maverly brushes hair out of her face. She’s not tired- she’s wide awake and kicking. Absentmindedly she outlines the four skull rocker hands at the top of her wrist. The fourth one is shaded pink, while the others have no color at all. Her older brothers got theirs shaded in with blue for the place they took in the chronological sibling order; except for bare-skinned Luke.

Her parents agreed that the only way they would sign for a tattoo is if it has meaning; otherwise, she has to wait until she is of legal age to get anything else. As a result of that rule, she’s filled her entire arm with tattoos honoring her family; from Luke’s favorite guitar with the sound waves of ‘I’ll go with you’ substituted for the frets, to a red outline of Ben, Jack, Luke, and Maverly standing in order when they were younger shifted a little bit above an outline of them standing together at Ben’s graduation in the same order. One of her favorite tattoos has to be a replica of her Grandma’s recorder player with flowers and planets shooting out of the brass horn. Maverly cried when that one was finished.

“Michael, wake up,” Maverly demanded. Michael let out a loud groan, sitting up complete to stare at the piled-up road ahead. “What’s your favorite color?”

The orange-haired boy wanted to smack the shit out of Maverly for asking him such a question instead of letting him sleep. “Red,” Michael bit. Maverly chewed on her lip ring with a smirk. She thought it was red, and boy was she correct. “What about you, Maverly Stella What’s your favorite fucking color?”

“Orange,” Maverly answered before shoving the gear shift into first gear. The line in the construction zone was starting to move. Maverly looked at Michael’s orange hair with a smile; he didn’t know that orange has always been her favorite color but she admired the bright color sitting on top of the blonde strands. A little part of her had hoped that it was orange because of her. “What’s a weird fact about yourself?”

Michael sighed before rubbing his face with his large hands. His fingers rubbed his eyes until he began seeing swirling colors in his eyesight. “My middle name is Gordon. Yo-”

“-Give me something that’s actually weird.”

“Um . . .” Michael thought aloud. “There’s this hella’ cute girl I know and she would never like me back. That’s weird. What’s a weird fact about you?”

“There aren’t any weird facts about me, Gor, I’m a normal human being,”

Michael let out strings of laughter. He could barely contain the giggles erupting from his body. “You’re not weird? Your name is Maverly, while you have brothers named Luke, Ben, and Jack.”

“Dad joked that Luke and I would be twins to Mom and said she’d name one Maverly if we were,”

“Your arms are covered in tattoos!”

“They all have a specific meaning.”

“You smoke cigarettes and nobody in your family knows!”

“Ashton’s my supplier and you guys keep secrets.”

“You’re fucking beautiful and you don’t have a boyfriend!”

Maverly giggled a little bit. A blush was beginning to creep across her cheeks, but at night illuminated by only dim headlights, Michael would never see. “I’m saving myself for someone certain.”

“You drew up all of your tattoos!”

“Natural talent in drawing.”

“You have an excuse for everything, don’t you?” Michael asked. He crossed his arms and looked out the window. He was no longer feeling tired. Maverly sped the Jeep up, leaving the construction zone and going into an area where she could easily speed. “How do you drive this thing anyways?”

Maverly moved her hand from the gearshift the grab Michaels. His hand felt warm from her palm as she set it over the stick. “Just wait,” she sped up a little bit before hearing the engines correct pitch for turning over, then released the gas pedal and stuck the clutch to the floor. She gripped Michael’s hand and changed from third gear to fourth. Her feet switched positions with the clutch returned and the gas pedal back down. She replicated the same thing to put the Jeep in fifth gear, then she released Michael’s rugged hand. “It’s easy. You just have to hear it and remember.”

Michael stared out the window again. He hated how his hand felt underneath hers- rather he hated that he liked being able to touch her hand. Luke’s had a strict No Touching My Sister rule for the boys. That doesn’t stop Maverly cuddling Calum or Ashton. They’re like her brothers also. “You’ve been driving for long enough that you remember.”

“That’s the point,” Maverly snickered. “So. I was thinking we could get something at like Walmart or whatever. You hungry?”

-

“How the fuck do you pick out a cantaloupe?”

“I don’t know.”

“Maverly you’re supposed to know this shit. Which cantaloupe is the best?”

“I don’t know, Michael!”

“Fuck it. I’ll just get this one. Do you have a knife?”

“No?”

“Then get one!”

-

Maverly dug a brand new metal spoon into the meat of her half of the cantaloupe. She pulled the melon away from the skin and shoved the huge bite into her mouth. “This is good, you picked out a good one.” the blonde laughed.

Michael rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah,” he dug into the other half. “Just eat your stupid cantaloupe.” the juice from the melon dripped down his face from his first bite. He wiped it away with the collar of his shirt. “It’s getting everywhere.”

“Michael, we’re at the beach. You’re going to get some type of wet no matter what,” Michael stopped chewing to stare at his younger friend. Maverly broke her stare on the dusk sunrise to see why the boy was silent. Michael blinked a few times, trying to insinuate a sexual innuendo that Maverly barely understood for a few moments. “I mean that works too, but-”

“May, why are we here?” Michael set his spoon into the carved out center inside the melon. “Not just wanting to go to the beach at literally two AM. Why are we here?”

Maverly laughed. “I can’t tell you that.”

“Why?” Michael pleaded. “I just want to know why you didn’t choose your brother or I don’t know . . . Calum?”

“If you didn’t want to come then you didn’t have to, Mike,” Maverly shoveled more melon into her mouth. Her belly was empty and running on a McDonald's coffee she bought herself before entering Santa Cruz. “I would have left you alone and bothered them.”

“It’s not that,” Michael set the round end of the melon into the sand. His hands grabbed her face so she’d look at him and understand that this was a real question of his. Why did Maverly choose Michael over the ones closest to her? “I wanted to come. But why did you chose me.”

“I still can’t tell you that,” Maverly stared at Michael’s face, feeling herself fall a little bit more in love with him. Without looking at her end of the cantaloupe, she still carved out a piece with the spoon and stuck it into her mouth. “That’s confidential.”

“That makes it sound like you’re going to kill me, May,”

“I’m not going to kill you.”

It’s no secret to Luke that Michael is absolutely smitten over the youngest Hemmings; the rest of their friend group always torments Michael that he’s wrapped around Maverly’s skinny little finger. Ashton jokes that hidden in one of Maverly’s tattoos is a meaning for Michael and her hidden crush on him, but he only says things like that to Maverly. The first time that was said, Maverly was laying next to Ashton, helping build his H.H. Homes Murder Castle. Maverly set TNT off inside of the castle in frustration towards Ashton and destroyed almost the whole outline. Even though he was angry, Ashton understood that Maverly fancied his younger friend and that she did not want to talk about it. Calum laughed when he realized the Clemmings ship was practically in love with each other and did absolutely nothing to push them together.

“Then why are we here!” Michael screamed.

“I want to go swimming,” Maverly shrugged. She forced herself away from Michael so she could see the sunrise again. Maverly Hemmings is known for appreciating nature and basic artistic masterpieces. She’s amazing at makeup. She’d be wearing a full face of makeup if she didn’t feel comfortable around Michael. She wants to paint the sky onto a piece of paper and replicate it into an eyeshadow look for somebody, but she knows that nobody would appreciate it. “I thought you’d like to go swimming with me.”

“It’s five.”

“And?”

“We could have swum in your backyard.”

“That’s not the same.” Maverly set her melon down into the sand like Michael’s. She wanted to kiss him. She wanted to taste the cantaloupe on his lips and the cherry chapstick he denies using. The blonde wants to run her fingers through orange strands of hair and the stroke of his calloused thumbs across her cheekbones.

“Yes, it is,” Michael stared back at Maverly. “Why did you bring me out here?”

“I wanted to swim,” Maverly stated again, but slower.

“Why didn’t you tell me to grab something to swim in then?”

Maverly paused to think up a reason. It took her over a minute. “I didn’t think about that.”

“Yes, you did,”

“No, I didn’t,”

“I bet you ten dollars that you’re wearing a swimming suit under your jacket,”

A blush made itself apparent on her face. She’s not wearing a swimming suit under the jacket; she’s not wearing anything underneath her clothes beside a red bra with matching panties. “Then fork up the money, Clifford.”

“Prove it to me then,” Michael said with complete seriousness. He was almost certain that she had planned on embarrassing Michael by being the only one in the water, or if he wanted to swim he had to skinny dip or wear soaking-wet underwear all the way home. Of course, Maverly Hemmings would be the one to do that to him. He can’t believe that he’s practically fallen for her thousand times over. “Prove it to me that you’re not dressed to swim in the ocean and try to embarrass me.”

Maverly blushed even harder. “You don’t want me to prove it to you.”

“Yes, I do,” Michael was angry. His mind had completely convinced him that he was just going to be embarrassed. If so, he had a few friends in Santa Cruz that would take him home. Or, he’d wake up Calum or Ashton and request that they drive to the boardwalk. Maybe he should just be a dick and wake up Luke, spoil the news that his perfect little sister snuck out and drove two hours to embarrass him.

“One-hundred percent sure?” Maverly asked. “No doubt that you want me to prove to you?”

“One-hundred,” Michael enunciated. “Prove to me that you’re not just a bitch.”

Maverly swallowed. She tugged at the zipper of her leather jacket with shaking hands. Slowly, if fell down the track to Maverly’s jean button. She was sweating, a result of a black leather jacket and a humid beach, so her palms and fingertips felt slick when she pulled the zipper completely away from the attaching side. She opened the jacket and felt thankful the beach was empty besides them. The skinny girl shrugged the heater off her shoulders and let it fall into the sand. Like it was just something she normally did, her hand reached for the melon to take another bite.

“I swear I didn’t think about that,”

Michael’s eyes were sitting on her boobs in the red bra. Two inches of lace wrapped around the bottom of the bra and covered a tattoo Michael didn’t realize she had. He couldn’t stop staring at her not-so flat chest.

“If I knew you fetishized boobs so much, I would’ve worn actual lingerie,”

“I’m not- I don’t- I . . .” Michael felt the smallest bit of constriction in his pants. He forced his eyes to the dark sky to ignore the topless girl in front of him. “Again, why are we here?”

“I can’t tell you,”

“Why can’t you tell me?!”

“Because I was seeing if something Luke said was true!” Maverly screamed. She turned to grab her jacket from the sand and put it on as quickly as she could. She wasn’t feeling confident enough to show her bare torso anymore.

“What did Luke say?”

"Nothing," Maverly dismissed. She waved her hand like it was the end of the conversation and fished her keys out of her pocket. "Let's go."

"You drug me out here, Maverly Hemmings!" Michael screamed. "I said I would go with you to Santa Cruz and two AM, you woke me up to share fun facts, I helped you pick out a cantaloupe, I bought you cigarettes with my ID, I- I am sitting in the sand with you at five AM after walking around Walmart and testing how soft pillows can fucking be!"

"I'm sorry!" Maverly cried. "I . . . I shouldn't have brought you out here and- and I just thought-!"

"-What did you think, Maverly?"

"Would you shut up and let me talk!" Maverly yelled. She didn't have an excuse, just that she wanted to see if Michael really liked her. "Would you like to know the real reason I drug you all the way out here?"

"Gladly!"

Maverly grabbed a handful of his shirt to bring them together and she shoved her lips to his. It felt like lightbulbs burst around them with such power that their ears were left ringing in the darkness of Santa Cruz. It felt like sparks were fusing their lips. It felt like when you bite into sweet fruit. It felt like the sun after a long rainy day. It felt like electricity flowing through every vein and nerve. Maverly was the first to pull away and rest her head against Michael's with her fingertips dancing through small strands of hair.

"Luke told you guys how you're practically wrapped around my finger," Maverly whispered. Michael pressed his thumb to the corner of her lips. "Michael Clifford, I've loved you for years and . . . I just thought that-"

"You're stupid." Michael laughed before kissing the girl he loved again. His hands ran their course on the curvature of her body, leaving tingles over every area they touched. He released her lips from his and watched how she reacted. She smiled and seemed relaxed as if she just smoked. But she didn't- it was just the effect that Michael had on her. "If anybody asks," Michael whispered. "I threw rocks at your window instead of the other way around."

-

"Wake up!" Maverly screamed before pouring a bucket of ice water on her sleeping twin brother. Michael laughed from the open doorway of Luke's room as Luke jumped up from his bed in just a pair of blue boxers, confused and whipping around to face Maverly. "Hi, I love you but-"

Through shivers, Luke lifted Maverly in a bridal style and exited his room. He didn't say a word; just walked past Michael and into the hallway. Michael followed behind, wondering if Luke even realized he was there.

"Luke?" Liz asked. Luke ignored his mother and continued towards the open balcony.

He's had enough of being woken up with water in a bucket and having to change his sheets and dry his mattress! He's tired of being freezing and having to sit in a bathtub of boiling water just moments from waking. He's tired of it. He stood on the balcony and held his little sister close.

"Luke, no!" Maverly pleaded, not wanting to be thrown in the pool. She had just showered and put on clean clothes! She didn't want to repeat the same process!

After a make-out session with Michael on the Santa Cruz sand, they skinny-dipped in the ocean like it was something normal. Michael slept on the way back to his house but only grabbed clean clothes from his bedroom. Michael and Maverly managed to have a -quiet- shower together with lots of making out and 'Stop looking at my boobs, Maverly Hemmings!' They dressed, took a few-hour nap, and thought of the best way to wake up Luke. Maverly knew she had to go with what she normally did.

Luke swung his sister over the railing of the balcony, and she landed in the pool. A belly-flop hurt her stomach but she still surfaced infuriated with her brother. Luke clapped his hands together as if removing dirt and started back into the house.

"Go help your girlfriend," Luke demanded tiredly to Michael.

"How do you . . ?" Michael trailed off to his friend.

"The hoodie, dumbass," Luke answered.

Michael looked over the railing at his girlfriend going up the ladder of the pool. Maverly peeled the 'CLIFFORD 95' hoodie off her body and cursed at Luke. "Whoops.”

-

Request here

[rebelminxy]

It Was Worth It

Word Count: 2340

Pairing: Dean Winchester and Reader

Rating: Teen

Warnings: Mild Language

Square Filled: Crossroads Demon

A/N: In this fic, Dean never broke the first seal, being pulled out of Hell before he could. The ending takes place in 4x7, right after Sam sends Samhain back to Hell. And yes, I do realize the symbol in the art above isn’t a seal of sorts but it was the best option I could find on Pinterest to fit with the storyline imaging. Please don’t @ me XD. This was written for @heavenandhellbingo​

Summary: After watching a hellhound tear to shreds your best friend four months ago, you decide to do the worst possible thing ever and make a deal with a demon. But what do you have that’s worth more than a Winchester soul?

Heaven and Hell Bingo

        Dean Winchester saved your life so many times, you had lost count. The man was like an older brother to you, your best friend, and he was gone. Torn away, literally, from you. All because of his baby brother, Sam. 

        After watching Dean being torn to shreds, you left, leaving Sam behind. You knew Sam’s promise to his brother to watch out for you but you didn’t care. Your connection with Sam wasn’t as strong as it was with Dean. So leaving Sam behind as you drove off in your Jeep wasn’t a big issue. You spent the last three months hunting, finding a way to get Dean out of Hell, drinking, and sleeping, in that order and on repeat. Sam and Bobby tried reaching out, calling you constantly, but you just ignored their calls, eventually getting a new phone. Those three months felt like years, lost at sea with no guidance, all alone. Once the fourth month hit and with no other answers, you knew exactly what needed to be done. 

        As you prepared yourself for the worst, you thought back on your moments with Dean. You first met through Bobby, an old man that took you in at the age of 15 after your parents died on a hunt. Being raised in the life, you knew the dangers. But that still didn’t scare you off when you were old enough to start hunting on your own. Bobby kept you hidden while you grew up, not even introducing you to John and his boys whenever they came around. But once you turned 18, you went on your own to hunt those that lurked in the darkness, your anger from losing your parents tearing through the monsters you killed. 

        It was on your 21st birthday that you met Dean. Sucker was cocky and thought he could get into your pants with a few words. But all he got in return was a punch on the nose and an f you. After that, Dean made it his job to follow you everywhere. You hated it at first but had to admit the guy was helpful on hunts. Especially since he had a real sweet ride. After a year of hunting together, it became the norm. Him coming over to Bobby’s to take you out on a hunt, riding around and sharing a motel room. 

        Your relationship with Dean became the sibling type, even though he had a brother who had gone off to college. ‘Wanting that apple pie life’ he would always say when it came to Sam. But you could see how sad he was when it came to his brother. Eventually, Sam would join the both of you, losing his girlfriend to the same monster that took their mother when they were younger. Everything was how it should be, Dean getting his brother back, the three of you getting along, hunting down the thing that deserved to die after their father’s death. All smooth sailing until Sam’s death.

        You felt for Dean, losing his brother. He wanted to be alone with Sam, so you went to stay at Bobby’s, hoping Dean would come back. But when he did, Sam was right behind him, as if nothing happened. You watched as Bobby dragged Dean out into the yard, away from the house. Excusing yourself from Sam, you followed, keeping quiet as you heard Bobby yell out.

“You made a deal, for Sam didn’t you?” Bobby asked desperately. 

        Dean didn’t answer, you could see him turn his face away from Bobby.

“How long they give you?”

“Bobby,” Dean begged.

“HOW LONG?”

“....One year.”

        Your eyes went wide in shock, holding in the scream that was itching at your throat.

“Damnit, Dean.”

“Which is why we gotta find this yellow-eyed son of a bitch. This is why ama kill him myself, I mean I got nothing to lose now, right?”

        Bobby grabbed Dean by the jacket and shook him as if trying to wake him up.

“I could throttle you!”

“And what, send me downstairs ahead of schedule?”

        Bobby let Dean go, letting you see the anger on his face, probably the same level of anger you felt at that moment, maybe more.

“What is it with you Winchesters, huh? You, your dad, your both just itching to throw yourselves down the pit.”

“That’s my point. Dad brought me back, Bobby, I’m not even supposed to be here!’

        You felt the tears begin to break, reminding you of the scare you recently had at the thought of losing Dean, losing your big brother. 

“At least this way, something good can come out of it, you know. It’s like my life can mean something.”

“WHAT! And it didn’t before?! Have you got that a low opinion of yourself! Are you that screwed in the head?”

“I couldn’t let him die, Bobby,” Dean muttered, the sadness in his tone. “I couldn’t. He’s my brother.”

“How’s your brother gonna feel when he knows your going to Hell? How will (Y/N) feel? How’d you feel when you knew your dad went for you?”

“You can’t tell them,” Dean begged. “You can take a shot at me, do whatever you gotta do but please don’t tell them.” 

        That’s when Bobby released the tears you already had dropping silently. You watched as the old man pulled Dean into a hug, both crying into each other’s shoulders. You fought back the scream and quietly went back into the house, avoiding Sam at all costs. You went into your room and cried it all out, your heartbreaking at the knowledge of losing the man that saved you from yourself so many times. 

=====

        Right as you buried the tin box with everything inside, you heard a chuckle behind you.

“Well, well, isn’t it the Winchester’s little pet? Didn’t expect to see you out here after Sam stopped begging. Didn’t he tell you, we got what we wanted…”

“I got something better,” you interrupted, turning to face the crossroads demon. 

        The body before you was a woman who looked like she was in her early twenties. But the red eyes made it clear you were talking to who you needed.

“And what do you have that we don't?”

        Without another word, you opened your button-down to reveal your chest. Right above your heart was a marking engraved into your skin, something you’ve had since you could remember.

“You see, the Winchesters aren’t the only ones that descended from the Cain family tree. Cain had a daughter, one that her mother kept hidden because of her magical abilities. This daughter was marked with a sigil by an angel that warned Cain’s wife about the potential danger this family line could cause.”

        You pointed at the marking on your chest and smiled coyly.

“Each baby born from this bloodline get this engraved over their hearts, a sigil that hides our blood so that no magical beings can find them. Not only are we a direct line from Cain, but we females all have magical abilities that are locked away with this sigil, only being able to use them when the sigil is broken.”

“You’re lying!” the demon exclaimed.

“Ask your supervisors and see what they tell you.”

“Give me a moment with her,” a voice softly spoke from the shadows.

        You turned to see a blonde woman walk out from the darkness, her eyes white.

“Lilith,” you growled, having a strong urge to kill the bitch where she stood, but knew that it wouldn’t save Dean.

“Glad to see you alive and well, now what’s this about your family bloodline?”

        Before she took another step towards you, you pulled out your knife and pointed it out to her. She stopped in her tracks and watched you as you lifted the knife and slowly cut through the carving, breaking the skin. You screamed out in pain as you felt your body vibrate, the ground shaking as the knife broke the symbol in half. Once the cut was through the symbol, everything went quiet, your blood seeping down your skin. But Lilith’s eyes grew wide in joy and she laughed as she finally sensed your blood.

“Wow! Cain had mentioned one of his children dying but no one suspected he was lying! I certainly can’t let you go, missy, not with that power running through your veins.”

“I’m here to make a deal, bitch,” you growled at her as you lifted the knife to your throat. “My life for Dean’s.”

“And what makes you think we will make that trade?”

“Because, the moment you set Dean free, I will do anything you ask.”

“Anything?” Lilith asked in a sing-song tone.

“Anything,” you whispered, sure of your choice.

        Lilith giggled and moved towards you, standing very close. Her mouth was mere inches from yours when she giggled again and whispered ‘Deal’. You moved in and kissed her right on the lips, making the contract. 

========

“Well done there, Sammy boy. But a little too late on NOT breaking the seal.”

        The brothers turned towards you, eyes wide in shock as they saw you walk out of the shadows. You wore a black sheer lace turtleneck dress with long sleeves and a very high V split cutout in the front, black bra underneath. You wore a pair of black leather shorts under the dress and black ankle-high leather combat boots Your hair flowed in waves all the way down to your waist, black as night compared to your original (Y/H/C), a wide brim hat on the top of your head. 

“Hey there boys, long time no see,” you smiled at them.

“(Y/N/N), what happened…” Dean stuttered. “Where have you been?”

“Been here, been there, been everywhere really,” you teased as you walked around them. 

“Bobby and I tried looking for you,” Sam stated, the anger rising. “We thought you were dead!”

“I was, trust me after Dean’s death I died. But, with a small change, I am more alive than ever,” you giggled.

“What are you talking about?” Dean asked. “And how did you find us?”

“Been watching from the background, keeping close but not close enough for you to know.”

“And why didn’t you help us? Why are you hiding until now?” Dean pressured.

“Because my job was getting boring so thought I might make it a bit more fun.”

        You smiled wickedly at them as your eyes turned black. The shock and fear on their faces made you cackle with joy.

“Like I said, more alive than ever boys!”

“What did you do?” Dean urged.

“Eh, deal gone wrong, meant to save you. But, honestly, this feels so goddamn right!”

        You skipped towards them, causing them to back up into a wall. You stopped about three feet from them and smiled, tilting your head to the side.

“Why? Why did you do it?” Dean questioned. “The angels….”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. The moment I made the deal, those fluffy dicks went in and broke you out. They reacted out of desperation but they were too late.”

        You began to swing on your heels, smiling as you stared at Dean, your black eyes never leaving his green ones.

“But, even though they got you out, didn’t mean crap when it came to breaking the first seal.”

“What are you talking about?” Dean asked.

“As the prophecy states, the first seal shall be broken when a righteous man sheds blood in Hell,” you giggled as you continued. “Well, they were wrong about it just being a man.”

“You didn’t,” Dean whispered as the realization hit him.

“Oh, I did! And I reveled in it!”

“Why? Why did you do it? Your deal was broken!” Sam yelled at you.

“The deal wasn’t broken, my life for Dean’s. Dean up top and mine down in the Pit, didn’t specify the how.”

“(Y/N), you are better than this,” Dean began.

“I was Dean!” you screamed at him, causing him to step back. “I was until I lost the one person that made me feel whole, that made me feel like I had a family. I lost the man I called brother for some snotty nose brat!” you spit out as you looked at Sam.

“(Y/N), you are like a sister to me,” Sam added, but the look you gave him stopped him.

“It’s because of you Dean went to Hell in the first place,” you roared, moving closer to Sam. “It’s because of you Dean had moments where he felt alone. It’s because of you Dean would never love me the way he loves you!”

        The jealousy raged from your voice as to stood inches from Sam. You then moved in to whisper into Sam’s ear, making sure Dean couldn’t hear.

“But if he knew what you and Ruby were doing, well, that love would end in a heartbeat. But I’m not that kind of bitch.”

        You moved away from Sam, giving him an evil smile, his eyes letting you know he was afraid. You then turned, giving the brothers your back.

“Just so we are clear, this isn’t the last you will see of me. But if either of you gets in my way, I won’t hesitate to kill.”

“(Y/N), please, we don’t want to lose you,” Dean begged, making you turn around.

“Oh, you lost me the moment I found out about your little deal.”

        You extended out a hand and pushed them both against the wall, hard. Once they got their bearings and searched the room to look for you, you were already gone. You watched them from a crystal ball in your little apartment miles away from where they were. You watched as they looked everywhere in the room, finally giving up and heading out the crypt. You waved your hand and the inside of the crystal turned into black smoke. You turned away from it and looked out the giant window into the night, smiling.

“Good luck, boys. Gonna need it while dealing with me.”

[ourcutechanglix-blog]

Wpr

Genre: Fluff

Type: Lee Felix AU

Warning: Felix X gender neutral reader

Word count: 1.3K

This is my first AU sorry of it suck

Summary:Woojin is your brother and his best friends are Changbin, Jisung and  felix. You are best friends with Changbin too,changbin knows Felix likes you/,Woojin ships you and changbin but Felix likes you.

Woojin’s POV:

“ Y/N get out of bed”

“But i don’t wannnnnnna”

“ GET UPPPP. You never get out of the house, so I'm dragging  you to the mall with my friends and i”

“That's not true, i hang out with Changbinnie”

“ You need to get up”

“YAH”

You laughed at your sister as you threw a pillow at her causing her to fall off the bed

“ Now get up ”

Y/N POV

“Ugh” You groaned in pain as you fell off the bed

“ I’ll go with you, if you stop bugging me”

“ YAAAAY” your brother screams as he starts jumping in joy

“ Be ready in 30 minutes” your brother said as left your room and shut the door.

You take a quick shower and brush (Y/H/L) hair, you dry off and head to your closet to see what to wear.

 you checked the time

“Oh shiiiiiit” you said as you realized you had 7 minutes. So you just put on Adidas joggers, a white T-shirt and some white Adidas, brushed your teeth and headed to your brother’s room.

“Y/N right on time, they're here”

You heard a knock on the door and you’re brother yelled “come innnnnn”

Changbin your bestie, and two other dudes walked in but your main focus was on changbin

“CHANGBINNIE HYUNG!!” you ran up to him and started hugging him.

( you guys meet because he is also your brother’s best friend and he started hanging around your house more and you guys got really close”)

He chuckled as he hugged you back “ Hi Y/N. Did you miss me hmmmm?”

“Mhmm” you mumbled while smiling

Meanwhile

Woojin’s POV

I literally lost all my UWU’s watching Y/N and changbin.

*cough cough* “okay love birds. Break it up, hurry up or Felix and Jisung are gonna leave us”

“okay , finnnnnne” Y/N mumbled as she blushed

I ship it.

Little did you know someone else had taken interest in Y/N

Y/N POV

I was walking with Changbin but then got distracted and before I knew it changbin was walking ahead of me with everyone else.

I barely noticed Felix and jisung. It’s sad though because i use to hang out with felix and jisung quite often until changbin started coming around. Maybe i should hang out with Felix more?

You had noticed you were falling behind the others while you guys were walking to the mall and a deep voice snapped you out of your thoughts…

“OI Y/N!”

“ Y-yes..?” you were always infatuated with his voice and it never ceased to surprise you,

“ what’s the matter?” he said with a worried tone.

“Oh- Nothing i was just thinking…”

“Thinking about what….” he said with a smirk

“ I was thinking… that.. Um we should maybe hang out more… like we used too. If that’s okay with you?”

“ of course! We can be best mates again… or maybe even more..”

“ Awww i can’t wait.. But what was that last part I didn't hear you?”

“ Nothing don’t worry about” he said as he was blushing

You looked ahead of you to see Changbin whispering to woojin about something.

You wondered what it was because changbin looked shocked

Woojin’s POV:

“OH MY GAWD” you whispered yelled as Changbin told you that Felix likes your younger sibling

“I was planning on trying to set you guys up today” you told changbin

“ what? I don’t like Y/N like that.. I wouldn't do that to Felix. To be honest i Lowkey ship those two. I was thinking of trying to get them together.. Do you wanna help me?”

You sighed in disappointment but still nodded yes

An evil laughter escaped from Changbin “Muahahaha”

*Facepalm* “ what am I going to do with you Changbin TCH”

Y/N POV:

It’s about time we got here geshhhh  you thought your self

THe others had already left you guys behind and were already somewhere else in the mall. So that means it was just you and Felix. Not gonna lie it was kinda awkward considering you guys haven't really talked much for over a year

“ So Felix.. Where do you wanna go?”

“ Let’s good to ...hmmmmm… Hot topic”

“KK lezgetit tttt” you said

You heard a deep chuckle coming from Felix

“ WoT is So FuNny?” you pouted

“ Nothing… you’re just cute”

You hit him with your sweater paws “ YAH PABO”

“ I may be a pabo, but can i at least be your pabo..?” he asked with a twinkle of hope in his eyes

“ W-what??” you said as you blushed

“ I'm asking you….out..” he said ask he nervously scratched his neck awaiting your neck.

You were debating to say yes. Truth is you used to like Felix back when you hung out a lot and the faint lingering feelings were still there so you said

“ Sure I'd love too… Truth is I used to like you a while back and the old feelings are still there..”

“ WOT? YOU LIKED ME FOR A WHILE?”

“ hehehe yes…” you said nervously

“ Y/N you should have said something sooner i have liked you since we were both 15” ( you guys are 18 ish now)

“ Oh… I don't know what to say..”

“ Don’t say anything.. Just come here” he said as he pulled you into his warm embrace. He put his arms around you lovingly as he played with your hair.

Then suddenly you heard a variety of

“ Awwwwwws and I KNEW IT” coming from the corner.

You looked over and you saw Jisung, Changbin and Woojin watching you guys hug. They started walking up to you guys as changbin said

“ Woojin our planned worked”

You gasped “ WHAT? You guys planned this??”

Changbin and Woojin both nodded

Felix told you “come on Y/N let’s go back to my house”

Jisung wiggled his eyebrows

“ Not Like that you idiot” Felix said as he blushed cutely.

You guys were already at the mall for a while and Felix’s makeup started to wear off, his beautiful freckles peeking through the old makeup from this morning. You couldn't help but look at his adorable freckles but he caught you staring.

“ You like what you see…?” he wiggles his eyebrows.

You rolled your eyes and just ignore it and you walked to his house with him, thankfully it was only like a 10 minute walk

You waited a couple seconds for him to open the door and then walked in.His house wasn’t extremely large but it was not small either. I mean he lives alone because his parents moved to Korea to study the culture and korean language, so he doesn't really need a huge house. It's A nice two bedroom, one bath house. He showed me to the living room and told me to have a seat next to him on the couch.

“What do you wanna watch?”he asked

“Could we watch the new season of stranger things?” you asked

“ Of course, I love stranger things. But scoot Closer to me, i don’t want you getting cold”

You scooted closer to him and he put the blanket over you too until you could feel his breath on your neck.

After over an hour of watching TV you looked up, only to notice him staring at you intensely.

He leaned over to your lips and just as you were about to lean in, he pulled his lips away from yours and kissed your forehead.

“ awwww no kiss?” you pouted

“ sorry babe, you’ll have to wait a little longer for that” he says as he winks

“Why you gotta tease me like this… i can’t believe fell for a pabo like you” 

You muttered the last part in a kind way, hoping he doesn’t hear but unfortunately he does.

“ Awww i love you too Pabo” he said

After that, you fell asleep on his shoulder and became an official couple a few weeks later.

THE END

creds to @mochicherrymochiii on wattpad for help with the ideas

[intertwined-fates]

07/26/2018 HELP 

Hello, fellow followers and other valued individuals who may be reading this. I dislike stooping to ask for help, but I'm currently at a loss. I'll be real with you and try to keep it brief. About a year ago, as you see in this instagram post I hit an extremely low point. I was losing everything. My family had broken apart. I lost my step-father, the one man who finally gave me a father after being abandoned by my biological one very young... and no, he didn't pass away.

The person I trusted with everything, my secrets, my fears, my hopes, and dreams... cheated on my mother after ten years and had been actively cheating on her for several months prior to when my mother found out. My best friend of nine years and our other mutuals abandoned me. They couldn't deal with my disorders anymore (psychotic depression, generalized anxiety disorder). My boyfriend at the time had been supportive as possible, but I knew deep in my heart that my depression was consuming me. I didn't like who I became when depressed... how could I put him through that side of me? I couldn't imagine a life without my family together. It shattered me and the only joy I had left was my daycare job. Even that was hard to hold onto, considering I worked a second job where employees, including myself, were sexually harassed.

August 6th, 2017 my mother and three younger siblings packed up to leave. A friend of my mother's and their family was allowing us to live with them while my mother worked her ass off earning money so we could move out and get away from what toxic environment our home had become. I stayed home and told them I'd make the drive later on my own. I didn't bother making up any excuses and they didn't push me to follow. Part of me was waiting for my stepdad to come back because I knew he would be showing up eventually... well, I was hiding in my room, waiting for him when I heard the door open. I heard him open the front door, then go into his bedroom and leave again. I wanted to call out and beg him to fix what he had done. I wanted him to confess all the wrongful doings he had done by cheating on my mother who loved him so unconditionally. I also wanted to scream at him for ruining what family I finally had in my heart. But, I didn't do any of that. I went out there and he offered to talk. I told him I didn't have anything to say. He left and I assumed he wouldn't come back. I wish he would have stayed and acknowledged the pain in my eyes.

That's when I lost myself. I realized I was home alone, I had alcohol, energy drinks, and my three prescriptions in the kitchen. I went into the bathroom and brought all of that, a hello kitty blanket, notebook, pen, and shut the door. I sat down and started to take the pills, counting as I swallowed them. I took twenty-five antidepressants including 25mg lamictal, 150mg wellbutrin, and 150mg of sertraline. I don't remember how many I took of each, but those were the dosages for each individual pill. As I took the pills, I tried to create a goodbye on the paper. I couldn't focus and my hands were so shaky. I tried to write how sorry I was and how I loved everyone. I ended up getting frustrated and scribbled all over the page. That's when it really set in. I was fucked. I was going to do severe damage to my kidneys or actually die if I stayed there. My mom and siblings were out of town by then. My stepdad was god knows where. I was alone and I was going to die. I didn't want to call an ambulance. I would be alone with strangers, then. So I walked outside, sat on the porch steps and started calling my stepdad. He didn't pick up. I tried over and over and he didn't pick up. I texted him what you see below. He almost hadn't come... which still scares me to think about what would have happened if he hadn't come.

I walked up to the car when he pulled up and got inside. I sat there and stared at the seat with my blanket wrapped around me. I then mumbled for him to take me to the hospital. Through the corner of my eye, I could see he was confused and I felt like he was angry at me... he asked me why and I told him what I had done. He said my name. I felt hopeless. He took me to the hospital and they made me change into a gown while a lady with glasses watched. They took my belongings and the lady laid me down on the bed. She started asking me why I did what I did and what I had done while my stepdad sat in a chair and watched them hook me up to different machines. Everything was so fuzzy to me. I felt like I was in between being alive and dead. My mother was called and she sped over an hour of distance to be by my side. She sat next to my stepdad and maybe this is twisted... but part of me hoped my failed attempt would bring them back together. At least, if I couldn't die... maybe my stepdad would realize how terrible of a decision he had made and would fix his mistake... but that didn't happen. He stayed in the room while they made me drink activated charcoal. Never fucking again... let me tell you. I've never tasted something so foul. Eventually, it made me throw up. The doctors told me I needed to throw up several times before they could do tests on me. Once I had thrown up many times, I fell asleep on and off in that room. When I woke up again, I was told I'd be going in a different hospital room. They moved me and explained I would stay overnight to be monitored. A guy was assigned to monitor me. I felt so uneasy. I couldn't sleep with him constantly staring at me. I  wanted to disappear and every time I tried to pretend he wasn't there my heart rate would rise which only attracted more attention. I was stuck... and at one point, my stepdad and mom weren't in the room. I overheard that they were arguing in the parking lot... my mom came back into the room and confirmed that my stepdad had left to go talk to his girlfriend (who he had cheated on my mom with). My mom was fighting for him to get back in the room... she knew how much it meant to me for him to be there and he ... just... abandoned me for some whore. No different than what my biological father had done to my sister and me as kids.

I am twenty now. A year has nearly passed since that day. I am doing better than I ever imagined I would be. I teach toddlers at a local daycare. I have my first in-person lesbian relationship with someone who really clicks with me. My mom has a new boyfriend who treats her like a literal queen. He even took in my dog since I'm not able to pay the pet fee in our trailer. I am happy with my job and my new girlfriend. My biggest concern is money. While I love my job, I am not paid the best. I drive a 2002 Volkswagen Jetta that I have spent well over 1,000 dollars in repairs since March of 2017. I really need to save for a new vehicle and due to my suicide attempt, am trying to pay off hospital bills. I currently owe $1,571.83. It was over 2,000 dollars but I have been paying when I can to pay it off. I also have to pay for college. I cannot sign up for classes until I pay a 278 dollar fee because I dropped Summer classes due to stress. I could really use the help. On top of that, I pay for other bills and my car is unreliable...

Anything helps and if you are unable to donate and managed to read this far... please take this experience of mine as a reminder. Your life is never worth taking. You should embrace your life. No matter how gloomy things look now, you never know when you'll get a positive plot twist. You ARE capable of living a great life. I believe in every single one of you. My inbox here is always open as well or you may dm me at come_aliv3 on instagram. <3

Link to Paypal.me: paypal.me/SydneySutton

[oh-ishouldnt]

Birthday wish

Birthday wish | Joe Sugg | imagine Word count: 3942 A/N: Hey there people! Nice to be around again :) Yep, I’m writing a birthday imagine. I know I said my present was coming back BUT I COULDN’T RESIST, ALRIGHT? hahahaha I hope you like it. Also, while I was finishing this, I realised that the music for this is “So It Goes…” by Taylor Swift. It was sooo strange when I noticed it! Anyway, hear the song once you’re done with the imagine and feel free to come say what you thought about it! You can find more Buttercream content here

“Where is the birthday girl?” You heard Josh’s voice ask while he entered Joe’s apartment after Byron opened the door for him.

You were in the kitchen, watching Joe make dinner for the two of you and Byron. You opened a smile and got up, literally running to give your best friend a hug. Josh also smiled as soon as he saw you and you jumped at him, he caught you in the air and laughed.

You always saw Josh as an older brother and, although he had a lot of siblings, you knew he saw you like a little sister as well. Not only you were younger than Josh and seemed to be even shorter next to him (it was amazing how he could walk down the street without hitting the lights, really), but since you got to London and met him, you both clicked and it was almost like he would protect you from anyone.

“So, we will see your mysterious Tinder date today?” Josh asked casually while putting you down.

You hesitated, Joe and Byron were the only ones of the Buttercream that you didn’t tell you were seeing someone. Purposely. You didn’t tell them purposely.

“Hum…” Byron smiled at you. “Y/N has a Tinder guy, huh?”

“Or a girl.” You said and Josh realized that he messed up. Even if no one felt his tension, you knew he was thinking all the “oh no’s” he should at the time.

“Or a girl, of course.” Byron agreed, although you never really dated a girl.

Joe suddenly seemed to be really interested in the food he was preparing and your heart trembled, you were dying to know what he was thinking.

“And no” You turned to Josh, touching his nose with the point of your index finger, something that could be seen as reproof “, you won’t see him today.”

“At least now we know it is a guy.” Byron murmured.

You sat at the place you were before.

“Why didn’t you say something to us?” Joe asked.

You frowned, Joe usually wouldn’t ask something like this.

“Not that you needed to tell us your business, I know.” He quickly added, probably for seeing your face.

You hesitated again. Why didn’t you say something to Joe and Byron? Well…

“Because she has a huge crush on” your heart stopped, what the hell Josh was saying? “Byron and it would blow all Y/N’s chances of getting him.”

Your cheeks had already turned into red because of the beginning of Josh’s sentence, but you mentally sighed. Josh to the rescue!

“As if Byron isn’t hard enough to get with all the options he has available.” You commented ironically and rolled your eyes. “Good looking as fuck, what did I expected?” You asked playing your sarcastic part, even though you knew that your words could be applied to another guy in the room... Being honest without being honest, you liked to say it was symbolic, but it was you being a coward.

“But I will always have a part of my heart with your name on it, Y/N.” Byron joked and you pretended to faint, making him laugh.

“You can’t say that to my poor heart, Byron babe.” You faked a whisper: “It can get me killed.” You, Byron and Josh laughed, Joe seemed to be back at the food task again. “Hey, by the way, ‘Byron babe’ sounds good! Can I call you ‘Byron babe’ or it might frighten all the other girls?”

“But there is the genius part of the thing, Y/N.” Josh said. “You need to call Byron of babe so you can have him all to yourself.”

“Josh, I need to play nice, don’t I? Or I might frighten him off.” You joked and as soon as you said the words, Joe announced that dinner was ready, kind of pissed for some reason none of you understood. Maybe Byron, because he looked at Joe, calm down, bro.

“Do you want some, Josh?” Joe asked while gave you a plate.

“No, I already ate, thank you.” He answered.

“You should try it.” You said eating some and almost melting with the flavor. “Joe made his special pasta.”

“And by special, she meant that cooking thing he subscribes.” Josh joked.

“Oh, shut up, Josh. Joe only did this because I asked him for it, it’s my birthday special.” You defended and Josh rolled his eyes.

“I didn’t have a birthday special.” Byron complained as received his plate.

“It’s because Joe doesn’t have a crush on you.” Josh teased and Joe gave a smirk.

“You are still gorgeous, Bro.” The older one said to Byron with a wink.

You laughed, ignoring the jump your heart gave. “Oh my, I wish my love life would be as good as today.” You faked a sigh. “I had Byron on the roll, now Joe… This is the good days, man.” you said lifting your bottle of beer.

“Oh, don’t you think I forgot your mysterious man, Y/N.” Byron remembered and Josh wanted to hit his head on the wall, what did he do? Why couldn’t he just shut up sometimes? Do as Y/N told, Josh, and shut up for once, damn.

“I wouldn’t call him a mysterious man, really. It isn’t like we are something else than not-strangers.” You told them chewing your pasta. “I mean, he isn’t even in London.” You couldn’t hide your disappointment in your voice.

“You will be fine, Y/N/N.” Josh held your shoulder and you gave him a little smile.

“Yeah, otherwise you will have tonight at the club to be not-stranger with a lot of other people.” Byron added and you laughed at him.

“As if I’m super popular at clubs.” It was your turn to roll your eyes.

You were hoping at the bottom of your heart to Joe to say something, because it wasn’t really often you talked to the guys about that kind of thing and, after all, as much as you loved Josh and Byron, the only person you wanted to hear was Joe, nevertheless Joseph Sugg was proportionally silent.

You even tried to say how good the food was to make Joe start talking, yet, even when the conversation progressed naturally to other subjects, Joe remained quiet. Maybe he had a bad day before you arrived at his house, otherwise it didn’t seem that he was upset before Josh appeared. He was upset with Josh? No, Joe wasn’t that type of human, you couldn’t remember a single time he did something like that. Maybe it was something about work. Well, if Joe wasn’t the kind of guy who would be quiet if someone bothered him (and only a few things could affect Joe negatively), you weren’t the type of girl who would insist to someone to do or say something just because you were bothered.

“Okay, guys, time to go to the club.” You announced enthusiastically once you all finished dinner and were watching TV for a bit.

“Someone is excited.” Joe smiled as he saw your own smile.

“It’s my birthday!” You celebrated. “Even if we swam the Thames, I would be happy!”

“Good you didn’t decide to do that, right, love?” He passed an arm through your shoulders and you felt your heart getting warm.

“Yeah, of course.” You agreed.

“Let’s go them.” Josh got up.

“Josh is excited as well apparently.” You commented, also getting up. “Just let me put my shoes, okay?”

“Oh gods, we will be here forever.” the ginger complained.

“Shut up, Joshua.” You ordered as passed through him.

Your apartment wasn’t exactly near to Joe’s, he was at London’s hotspot and you couldn’t afford that yet, so since you knew you all would get drunk that night, you asked to stay at one of the buttercream boys’ house, they lived closer to the club and you wouldn’t need to get back alone afterwards. Therefore, you had a backpack with a lot of clothes, accessories and makeup upstairs.

You went put your shoes and laughed when your friends started shouting at the living room saying to you hurry up.

“C’mon, Y/N!” Josh screamed. “We need to get there while is still your birthday!”

“Don’t be an ass, Pieters!” You snapped back and finished to put your heels, almost running to meet them.

“Hot!” Byron approved and you blew him a kiss, he pretended to faint and you laughed.

“Idiot.” You said.

Josh walked towards the front door, Byron started walking out the apartment as well and you were about to follow them when Joe caught your arm.

“Y/N.” He called, you frowned as looked at him.

Josh was about to shout again outside, however Byron nodded negatively to his friend, making the tall guy go quiet instantly. Byron closed the door and it was only you and Joe at the apartment, too busy staring each other to notice your friends.

“Joe…?” You were confused with his attitude.

Joe seemed to be struggling with the words, but then he opened a forced smile. “Time for your present.” he announced while taking a little velvet box out of his pocket.

You couldn’t avoid the wishes and thoughts that ran wild in your mind. You desired that his movement, one day, would mean more than a birthday present, that the box out of his pocket would be smaller and would come with a question too. But this was you being silly.

“Joe! I said no presents!” You contested with a roll of eyes and a contradictory smile on your face. “Also, I know that you hate buying gifts for people.”

“It isn’t anything to worry about, Y/N.” He stated.

“I remember how you almost lost your mind at Christmas time.” You mentioned, taking the box out of his hand.

“Actually, it was quite easy to buy you this.” He told.

You opened it and the package revealed a small delicate pendant of a flower, held by a silver chain. You weren’t a necklace girl, however as soon as you looked at Joe’s present, you knew you would be one for now on.

“Oh my God, I love it!” You exclaimed.

Joe laughed with your joy. “Good. Could you imagine if I said it was easy to buy you this and you didn’t like it?”

“I love it!” You told him again and hugged him. “Thank you, Joe! Seriously! I can’t even be mad at you for not listening to my birthday rules.” He laughed again and hugged you back.

“I’m glad you like it, Y/N.” He said while his face was pressed against your hair.

“How could I not like it?” You asked and you stepped back, being so close to Joe for that long was no good to your heart. “It is perfect, Joe. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

You two started to stare each other again, it was really easy to lose yourself in those blue eyes... Every time you noticed how blue they were, you felt like it was sort of impossible that they existed.

Joe cleared his throat. Of course, Joe could have the most beautiful eyes in the whole planet, but you were only a regular girl who was kind of falling for a friend, what was known as the most stupid thing ever.

You blinked twice, putting your feet back on Earth.

“Could you put it for me?” You asked, determined to ignore the awkwardness around you and him.

“Yeah, of course.”

Joe walked around you and you handed him the necklace, his fingertips rubbing your neck like feathers and you could swear he was lingering the movements, but it could be you losing your mind for good as well.

“Thank you.” You said softly.

“No problem.”

And when the silence fell this time, you couldn’t bear it. What the hell was happening that day?

“I think we should go, otherwise Josh might have a heart attack at your doorstep.”

“Let’s go then.” Joe agreed.

You were laughing without a reason, you were just so happy because you were surrounded by friends and it was your birthday, so you were dancing like you should dance at your birthday, so you were partying like you should party at your birthday, after all, birthdays were meant to be your special day of the year. You loved birthdays.

You didn’t really celebrate your birthday in clubs before you went to London, but now that you were officially a London gal, it was only expected to go to cool places and get drunk. At least, this was the idea that people were getting nowadays (it was pretty accurate that night).

You were at the dance floor when the “Happy birthday to you” song came along. Suddenly Joe appeared with a huge sparkling cake and, with him, all the friends you invited to the club were there and not only your girlfriends from uni that were dancing with you.

“Oh my God, guys!” You laughed again.

Although some people were shy about the birthday fuzz, you were all in. As they sang, you made silly faces and danced to the silly music, ignoring the crazy electronic song that was kind of disturbing your celebration. If the world wouldn’t stop for your birthday, it was the world’s loss.

And you didn’t see from where the confetti fell, but at the end of the “Happy Birthday”, there were confetti and smiles all around.

“Make a wish, Y/N!” Y/F/N shouted.

You were still laughing from joy when you faced the cake to make your wish. Alright, it isn’t right saying you faced the cake, because you could see the sparkles of the candles on the cake, but you were far away from actually staring at the food. Some blue eyes captured you and locked your attention, the cake didn’t even have a single chance.

You knew it was happening only on your mind, still, you saw all the colorful lights become darker and all the people around you disappear, the music and the screams went mute, the sparkle candles ended and only the fire simple ones were left, only one person stood in front of you.

Your heart was racing, you blinked twice to be sure that his eyes were looking at you with the same intensity as you were looking at him. It hit you so hard that the laugh vanished, you were entirely consumed by that moment. Joe smirked and you knew that he was smiling only for you, nothing else mattered.

“Make a wish, Y/N.” He said without shouting, he didn’t need to, he knew you would listen.

In order of that, you leaned in, without turning your look away, being completely aware that his attention was all yours, you didn’t even dare to blink. You blew the candles, slowly, and the only thing that was burning then was the desire in your eyes. It wasn’t only some desire for the flesh, it was for the soul.

And everything went back to track, you could hear your friends celebrating your wish as you received a huge group hug. Even if not from Joe, you certainly felt loved.

A few hours later, you were at Joe’s again. Byron had a gig the day after so he was actually one of the first people to left the club.

You were taking your heel out so you wouldn’t be as loud as a freaking tractor at the silent apartment when you heard Joe’s voice in the living room:

“Oh no.” Joe moaned.

“What?” You asked while entered the place, finding your friend staring the couch.

“We forgot to prepare your bed.” He explained.

You gave him a little smile.

“That’s fine, Joe. You know I don’t mind if your couch has sheets or no, I will find it as comfortable as I always have.”

Besides the little blowing candles moments, your relationship with Joe was as normal as it ever has been. Maybe it sucked a little.

“But it’s your birthday, you can’t sleep on a simple couch.” Joe argued.

“Joe, relax.”

“No.” He said determinedly. “I will sleep on the couch, you can sleep in my bed.”

You suspected he was a bit drunk still. “Joe, for fuck’s sake, it’s fine, babe.” As soon as you said “babe”, Joe looked at you anxiously. Although you called everyone “babe”, “sweetie” and things like that, you never called Joe those names, at your core, you knew they would mean more than they should.

The stare last only one or two seconds and then everything was fine again. You were starting to get easily confused with those strange moments.

“Okay then, I won’t sleep on the couch.” The man hesitated. “You won’t either.”

“What?”

“Yeah, it doesn’t make sense, I have a perfectly good bed upstairs.”

“Joe…” You started saying, without knowing how to say no. It would tear your heart up, you knew it would.

“C’mon, Y/N, you know that we are both too tired to make you a bed on this couch and I’m not letting you sleep where Josh ass was sooner today.”

You laughed out loud, only remembering about Byron after you stopped laughing.

“Fine, you won.” You gave up.

You and Joe went upstairs talking about the party, remembering how drunk your friends were.

“You can use the bathroom here, I will go downstairs.” Joe offered and you opened your mouth to argue, however, Joe gave you a glance that made you smile softly and say thank you.

Joe took all he needed from his bathroom and went away to make you comfortable. His bathroom smelled like shaved cream, kind of mint and reminding you this wasn’t your bathroom.

You took off your makeup and showered, glad for the hot water and Joe’s amazing shower. Your muscles relaxed and you realized you need that bath. You sighed when it was time to get off.

You started to dry yourself with the towel, taking your time because it was kind of your birthday still so you could have that privilege. You could hear Joe’s moves around the bedroom since half of your bath and there was still video sounds, so you guessed he was catching up the videos of that day, but you glimpsed Joe’s eyes watching you through the mirror, you didn’t notice you didn’t close the door properly.

You knew he couldn’t see that much from that gap, although it wasn’t because of this you weren’t ashamed. Maybe it was a bit of alcohol left in your veins or you were just too tired to pretend you weren’t in love for the guy in the next room, either way, you pretended you didn’t realise his eyes and continued to do your things, satisfied that you chose a nice underwear for that night but nothing more than satisfied, you didn’t expect anything from Joe.

You kept pretending it was completely normal between you two while you got out of the bathroom, asking for the hairdryer. Joe needed to clean his throat before answering and, internally, you smiled. You thanked him and went dry your hair as you meant to.

When you returned to the bedroom, the lights were off, Joe was still watching some videos. You connected your phone to the charger, using the power plug aside the bed. You opened your WhatsApp and laughed at Josh’s message.

“Josh just told me that he was meant to carry the cake but you all thought I might not be able to reach the candle if Josh were the one to do it.”

“For a moment, Mikey carried the cake and I swear he would drop it.” Joe told, pausing the video and putting the phone aside.

“Poor Mikey.” You leaned in the bed and put the covers over you, face to face to Joe, suddenly regretting your previous brave femme fatale moment.

“Y/F/N wanted to carry the cake as well, but she gave up because she was afraid she wasn’t strong enough to lift it.” You laughed, of course Y/F/N would do something like this.

“So you had to do the hard work, huh?” You teased him, but Joe wasn’t in a playful mood because he looked deep at your eyes and said as he was making a vow to the queen:

“I wouldn’t say it was a work at all.”

This time when none of you said anything, you two kept staring each other, seeing who would be the first to turn away. After some time, it became pretty clear you and Joe weren’t giving up.

The day was too strange and you held your feelings back for so long that it was quite impossible to continue with that, so this would be it.

“Joe?” You called as loud as a whisper, not confident at all.

“Yeah?”

“It is late, it is not my birthday anymore.”

He smiled. “I know.”

“Do you believe in birthday wishes?” You asked, knowing his answer.

“No.”

“You think the universe will be offended since you don’t believe in birthday wishes and told me to do one while you were the one who held my cake?”

“I don’t think so, Y/N.”

You nodded your head. “Good.” You needed a couple of deep breaths to continue the chat. “And do you think the universe would mind if I tell you what my birthday wish was? You don’t believe in it, it would be the same as telling a wall. A wall doesn’t believe in birthday wishes.”

“Thanks for calling me a wall, love.” Joe gave a sweet laugh and you watched his eyes get smaller thanks to the cheeks that got up in his face, you loved Joe’s laugh. Joe was a funny guy, he would always make everyone around him laugh, therefore when you were the one to make him laugh, it was a particular happiness you had. “No, I don’t think the universe would care.”

“You know that, if the universe does care, the blame is on you right? If my birthday wish doesn’t turn into reality, it will be all your fault.”

“Just tell me, Y/N.” Joe said gently, seeing that you were nervous.

“I wished for someone to like me back.” You finally confessed.

“Oh.” Joe wasn’t really excited about your words. “I’m pretty sure the Tinder guy likes you back, otherwise he is just an asshole.”

You giggled.

“Thanks, Joe.” You took another last breath, promising yourself it would be the last one, no turning back from now on. “Actually…”

“Yes?”

“I asked for him to love me back.”

“You won’t need the universe’s help to make someone love you, Y/N.” He snorted. “It is really hard not to love you.”

You nodded your head, thinking of his words.

“Good.”

And everything just made sense. All the looks, the awkwardness and sentences with secret messages. Right there, in his bed, your faces illuminated only by London’s night, starring, waiting, wishing.

Joe stared at you and you could see the sadness on his face, so he was the one who looked away.

“Good.” You said again, smiling afterward. You weren’t afraid anymore. “Joe?”

“Yes, Y/N?” He looked into your eyes again.

You stood your arm outside the blankets and touched Joe’s cheek, he closed his eyes with your gesture.

“I asked the universe to make you love me back.”

His eyes opened again and the beautiful blue became crystal clear in that slight heartbeat. You simply knew that the stars had aligned and, if Joe believed in that type of thing, his birthday wish would be you as well.

[imagine-valhalla]

BEING BJORN’S TWIN WOULD INCLUDE:

◾ The pair of you would literally be inseparable, to which no one would find the pair of you without the other, - even older years-, and if it were the case that you were separated, people would race their brows, questioning this rare instance.

◾ It would be scarce that you and your twin brother would fight, but bickering could often be quite normal. However, if you did argue or fight, it would be severe and would be more heartfelt; harder to get over, but would strengthen.

◾ Neither of you would think to hesitate to stand up for one another - or your family -. The relationships you share with one another, your family and friends would be be such a tight unit. Loyalty would run thick in your veins.

◾ Bjorn and you would often be found relaxing by the docks, visiting Floki, sitting in nature and speaking to one another or just simply laughing together. Usually you both would enjoy the time you spend together because it’s simple and doesn’t require much thought.

◾ It would amuse people when you both finished one another’s sentences, or if you answered at the same time. Your father Ragnar would find it amusing, particularly if it irked Lagertha sometimes.

◾ During feasts - even at a young age - the pair of you would stick together to protect one another, keeping one another company; and as the pair of you grew older, it would become a fixed habit.

◾ Your twin brother would certainly take up the role of acting like the eldest in the sibling relationship, - even if you were the oldest -. He would feel the need to protect you, seeing you as his younger siblings more than usual, forgetting that you are his twin.

◾ Bjorn never feeling that anyone is ever good enough for you.

◾ You never feeling that anyone is good enough for Bjorn.

◾ You never really having liked Porunn but never having told Bjorn because you knew he loved her very much.

◾ Always persuading one another to stay home instead of going to raids, then bickering over it, but realizing both of you need to go to honor Kattegat.

◾ You would be fiercely protect one another, sticking together and oddly enough, adopting your own way of fighting with one another, often mesmerizing everyone around you because the fight is so well choreographed.

◾ People sometimes having mistaken you both for one another, making you both feel embarrassed. 

◾ “For the love of all the Gods brother! Would you please stop following me!” “This is getting out of hand!” You hollered, irateness clearly laced within your tone as you sent an annoyed glower to your brother, like you’d shot an arrow at him. What did he not understand by you wishing to have some alone time for a couple of hours to yourself? 

◾ “I have no idea what you are talking about, my dear twin.” Bjorn stated as if oblivious to what you were on about, as a large grin flew across his countenance, full of mischief. “Anyway, we are walking the same way.” He’d justify his actions with no further objections from you.

◾ Before Bjorn parts from Kattegat to prove himself to Ragnar, you end up showing much dread and apprehension, voicing your opinion passionately and strongly on the situation at hand. You would fear for your twins safety, though deep down you would know that Bjorn would make it out alive, and that the Gods would watch over him carefully.

◾ It would strike the strings of your heart with melancholy because you would be without your twin for a long time, not sure if he may die in the process of surviving.

◾ “It is nice to see you again, dear brother. You have no clue of how much I’ve missed you!” You exclaimed while feeling relief wash over your being and soul as you embraced him, your other half that you have missed so dearly. “I prayed every day and night to the Gods for your safe return home.” 

◾ “As the same to you, my dear twin. It has been too long.” Bjorn would state truthfully while feeling relief mirror within him. To see you truly well and alive made his heart fill with joy. “As you can see I am well and fine.” He would boast.

◾ “After all of this time, I can see that you have ‘beared’  it.” You jested out jokingly trying your best to bite back a laugh. Hearing upon this and noticing your pun, your father and mother, as well as all the citizens in Kattegat roared within laughter at your joke. While your twin brother Bjorn gazed ahead at you in disbelief with a look that told you ‘Really?’ but trying his best not to crack up himself and soon rolling his blue eyes towards this terrible pun. 

◾ If you were to become fatally or severely injured on the battle field, your twin -as well as your mother and father- would fight his/their way across the blood covered battle field to get you away from any enemies hands, as quick as the God of Thunder himself. 

◾ “Everything will be alright (Y/N).” Bjorn stated with concern upon his face as he applied a strong amount of pressure upon the large gash you now possessed. “You are going to fight through this, my dear twin. I promise that to all the Mighty Gods, as for they will save you!”

◾ When you are in the process of healing Bjorn would - as well as your mother and father - would be there every step of the way to nurture you back to perfecct health and would get you back to your normal, strong, self.

◾ Your father, your mother and your twin would take turns of looking after your tired resting form, not minding if they were to miss a wink of sleep. You would be their number one priority! 

◾ “I feel as though this is all my fault...” Bjorn would say quietly, sitting upon a chair that was seated beside your sleeping form. Guilt and sorrow flowed through his veins and swam in his soul while watching your weak form. “If I were to have gotten there sooner to you my twin, you wouldn’t be like this.” 

◾ Bjorn praying to the Gods every waking second -as well as your parents- for you to fight through this horrible time and to make it out alive and well. 

◾ “I ask all the Mighty Gods from above to aid and assist my dear twin to make it out alive and stronger than ever.” Bjorn would utter quietly into the darkness of the night as he watched your sleeping form. “For I cannot lose my other half...”

◾ In your younger years, you both would have joked around with one another, which would have seeped greedily into your older years. You would also pull ‘harmless’ small pranks upon one another, which would usually end up with you both trying to ‘one up’ the other.

◾ With that said you both would begin a pranking war that would pretty much have no end. Your parents would be telling you off even when you are much older than when you being chased by Bjorn who was screaming at you, soaked in goat piss.

◾ “(Y/N)!” Bjorn howled, voice booming with immense displeasure. “I swear upon all the God’s, once I find you, you are going to pay for this greatly!”

◾ There was a short pause in the distance but soon you heard a loud grunt that was followed by curse words from where your dear twin brother was, there was sounds of him struggling. Trying to hold back your laughter an amused look sat upon your complexion. “Oh my dear brother, you truly are a fool!” You laughed out in mischief  “Pay back is always a bitch!” 

◾ Overall, your twin bond would be like an unbreakable chain that no person could break, or even the Mighty Gods above. 

bjorn ironside gif : source - 🏹

hope you enjoyed! please follow for more, lovelies.

[5hfanfiction]

Arch Rivals 5

Trigger Warning : Talks of drug related issues and parental abuse.  Please read with caution.

“So how long do you think the three of them‭ ‬have been planning this‭?“ ‬Camila asked as the group of them walked to the ice cream shop.

‭"‬Knowing them.‭ ‬Probably the day you showed up at my school.‭” ‬Lauren laughed.

As Camila watched Lauren actually laughing and joke around enjoying herself,‭ ‬she wondered how she could get Lauren to be like this all the time.‭ ‬Camila didn’t realize she was staring until Lauren grabbed her arm and stopped her.

‭"‬Camila‭! ‬What is wrong with you‭? ‬You almost face planted into the door.‭" ‬Lauren was trying really hard to not laugh in the girls face but she just couldn’t hold it in any more.

‭ ‬Camila stopped dead in her tracks when Lauren actually used her name.‭ ‬Also the sight of this happy go lucky Lauren was literally melting Camila’s heart.‭ ‬Camila knew she must have the dopiest grin in the world on her face but she just didn’t care.‭ ‬If she had to make a fool of herself for the girl to laugh all the time then that‭ ‬is what she was prepared to do.‭ ‬Camila also noticed that Lauren had yet to remove her hand from around her arm.‭ ‬Camila felt a warmth radiating through her skin like Lauren was branding her.‭ ‬Why the hell was this girl having this much of an effect on her‭?‬ How could one little thing make her want to just kiss the girl‭?

“Cabello‭! ‬Seriously what is up with you‭? ‬You look like your in a whole other world.‭ ‬You okay‭?” ‬Lauren asked letting go of her and waving her hands in front of Camila’s face.

‭"‬Oh yeah sure I’m fine,‭ ‬just thinking.‭" ‬Camila surprisingly said without stuttering.‭ “‬Now come on let’s get that ice cream.‭”

Before Lauren could question her anymore Camila had stepped into the shop and was talking with the kids.

‭"‬Alright what do you two want‭? ‬Lauren asked her siblings.

‭"‬I want chocolate chunk with sprinkles‭! ‬Please Lauren‭!“ ‬Taylor said while jumping up and down.‭ ‬Lauren nodded her head and Taylor ran for a booth seat excitedly.

‭"‬Lauren can I have cookie dough in a waffle cone‭? ‬Please,‭ ‬please,‭ ‬please.‭” ‬Chris asked just as excited as Taylor was before.

‭"‬Alright.‭ ‬Now go sit down I’ll be right there.‭"

Lauren placed the order,‭ ‬getting nothing for herself because she was out of money.‭ ‬Lauren didn’t mind though because she knew it would make the two of them really happy.‭ ‬Camila noticed that Lauren hadn’t got anything and could tell the girls mood had shifted some.‭ ‬Camila wondered what exactly caused it.

‭"‬Hey Lo you want something‭?‬" Camila asked when she noticed Lauren hadn’t got anything.

‭"‬No.‭ ‬I’m fine.‭" ‬Lauren took the kids theirs.

Camila ordered Sofi’s and hers,‭ ‬then they both sat down across from the Jauregui’s.‭

“Here Lo.‭ ‬The guy accidentally gave me an extra one and I can’t eat it all.‭ ‬So please take it.‭” ‬Camila said pushing‭ ‬the other one towards Lauren.

Lauren knew that Camila was lying through her teeth,‭ ‬as the guy behind the counter was one of those go by the rules completely types,‭ ‬Lauren didn’t say anything though and just took the ice cream with a small smile. It was nice to know someone wanted to do something for her, even if it was just ice cream.‭ ‬Lauren though was trying to study Camila to see if she had an ulterior motive but all she got was a reddening Camila.‭ ‬Not really wanting to embarrass the‭ ‬girl too much more Lauren stopped staring and ate the ice cream.

After everyone was done Lauren asked,‭ “S‬o who’s ready for the beach‭?”

All three of the kids jumped up and starting yelling‭ “‬I am.‭ ‬I am.‭”

“Alright then let’s go.‭” ‬Lauren gestured towards the door as they all clambered out of the booth and out into the beach.

‭"‬Loloz can we build a castle‭?“ ‬Taylor and Sofi asked.

‭"‬Of course you can‭!” ‬Lauren said as Taylor and Sofi jumped for joy,‭ ‬took the buckets and shovels,‭ ‬and ran further away to start building.‭

As Lauren sat watching her younger siblings stumble around and build the castle she relaxed and just smiled at everything in front of her.‭ ‬Lauren was enjoying the day but could also feel someone boring a hole in the side of her head.‭ ‬Lauren knew that those deep chocolate eyes were trying to get her attention,‭ ‬and it made Lauren smile even more.‭ ‬Finally the brown-eyed girl talked.

‭"‬You’re really great with them.‭ ‬It must be hard.‭"

“Yeah, I do my best.‭ ‬Dinah’s mom is the real hero though,‭ ‬I couldn’t do it without her.‭”

“What about your parents‭?” ‬Camila asked not knowing.

‭"‬We get along okay,‭ ‬don’t need someone when their not there.‭" ‬Lauren blew off the question like always.

Camila knowing the girl didn’t want to talk about it changed the subject or so she thought.‭ “‬How does your back feel today‭?”

“It’s been better.‭ ‬Not going to complain though because that will solve nothing.‭”

“You ready for the tournament this weekend‭?”

“Yep.‭ ‬Always am.‭ ‬You actually get your little menaces to learn the plays and want to be a team‭?” ‬Lauren said with a small attitude.

‭"‬The day coach kicked you out for being pissed off.‭ ‬I told all the girls that we needed to stop the petty bullshit and just play as a team and anyone who didn’t like it could feel free not to show up anymore.‭" ‬Camila said.

‭"‬Yeah that was a bad day.‭ ‬I’m glad that you got through to them too.‭ ‬I was wondering why a few of the girls quit showing up.‭"

“YO‭! ‬CJ‭!!” ‬a girl screamed from on the boardwalk causing Lauren to jerk her head around as Camila had a questioning look on her face at Lauren’s reaction.

‭"‬Cabello.‭ ‬I have to deal with this.‭ ‬Please keep an eye on them.‭ ‬Please just keep them over here.‭" ‬Lauren pretty much begged.

‭"‬Lauren what’s wrong‭? ‬Who is that‭? ‬Why’d they call you CJ‭?“ ‬Camila wanted to know.

‭"‬Camila I promise I will tell you everything when I’m done.‭ ‬Please‭ ‬just watch them for me.‭” ‬Lauren grabbed Camila by the shoulders and looked into her eyes trying to get the urgency across.

Camila sighed,‭ “‬alright but I want an explanation when you’re done.‭”

“I promise.‭” ‬Lauren said pecking the girl on the lips and running off.

Now what the hell was that Camila thought and why the hell did Lauren respond to CJ‭? ‬Could this have something to do with why Lauren was always missing‭? ‬Maybe those girls were why Lauren was always being so secretive and broody.‭ ‬Camila noticed that Lauren went from laid back and relaxed to ridged and bitchy again.‭ ‬Even her eyes seemed to change from an inviting green to a darkening grey,‭ ‬in the blink of an eye.‭ ‬Camila looked back to where Lauren was and tried to figure out if she had seen‭ ‬the girl Lauren was talking to.‭ ‬No such luck.

‭"‬Camila what is Loloz doing with those girls‭? ‬I thought she was going to play with us.‭" ‬Camila was broken out of her thoughts as Chris came to talk to her.

‭"‬Umm,‭ ‬not quite sure myself,‭ ‬but she said she will be right back.‭ ‬So why don’t you go grab some water for your moot buddy.‭" ‬Camila effectively diverted Chris’s attention.

‭"‬So CJ are you going to hook me up tonight or what‭?“ ‬the pretty petite blonde with blue eyes asked.

‭"‬For sure you know I will as‭ ‬long as you got the money,‭ ‬beautiful.‭” ‬Lauren made sure to use her undercover persona and flirted with the girl.‭

“Don’t worry your pretty little head about it.‭ ‬Money is never a problem for me.‭ ‬How much do you need‭?”

“Depends on what your doing and how much you want.‭ ‬Give me‭ ‬a number sweet cheeks and we’ll work something out.‭ ‬Maybe even give you the sexy girl discount.‭” ‬Lauren said stepping a little closer to the girl, and running her fingertips down the girls cheek.

As the girls cheeks turned a little red she said,‭ “‬Well it’s a rather large party.‭ ‬Over two hundred or more people will be there.‭ ‬So I say bring whatever you want to get rid of.‭ ‬I’m thinking I can at least pull five large.‭ ‬Then my minions can work the party.‭”

Lauren tried to hide her surprise at the number if she took this to Jacks now she could walk away with some good money tonight.

‭"‬Sounds like it is going to be one hell of a party tonight.‭ ‬I wonder how hard it is to get an invite to something like that‭?“ ‬Lauren said as she reached over and‭ ‬brushed a hair out of the girls face.

The girl blushed again,‭ ‬Lauren thinking that it was too easy to keep getting a reaction like that.‭ "‬I think that it’s in the cards for sure tonight.‭ ‬Here’s my number call me later and we can set up the rest of the details.‭ ‬You’ll get paid when we get the stuff.‭”

“Sure thing beautiful.‭ ‬I’ll see you tonight.‭” ‬Lauren turned to walk away when the other girl grabbed her by the arm.

‭"‬Oh and just so you know your girlfriend looks pissed that you were flirting with me.‭ ‬Bring her tonight too.‭ ‬It will make it all the more fun,‭ ‬unless of course your scared.‭" ‬Blondie said with a smile and joined her friends and took off.

Shit‭! Shit! Shit! ‬Was all Lauren could think.‭ ‬Now she had to tell Camila everything and Jacks was going to be pissed.‭ ‬Lauren waited a minute before she made her way back to the group,‭ ‬she needed a minute to get her thoughts together.‭ ‬Lauren was pissed because now she had to drag someone she liked into the not so nice business she was doing,‭ ‬then again she was excited about the fact that she could say Camila was‭ ‬her girlfriend.‭ ‬Even if it was not as she planned from what she knew about the girl Lauren was starting to believe in being happy again.‭ ‬All due to the little brown eyed cuban girl.‭

Camila didn’t know what exactly to think about what she just saw,‭ ‬then again something told her that she might not want to know.‭ ‬All Camila really knew right now was that she almost felt betrayed,‭ ‬even though she had absolutely no hold on Lauren.‭ ‬Still Camila couldn’t help but feel jealous.‭ ‬Camila couldn’t believe that‭ ‬Lauren was just so willing to flirt with the other girl right in front of her,‭ ‬well sort of,‭ ‬then again they hadn’t discussed what they were.‭ ‬Or even it there was an anything to speak about. What if Lauren was just using this as another notch on her belt?

Lauren looked lost in thought when she came back to sit next to‭ ‬Camila.‭ ‬Camila just let the girl sit and think, but for some reason couldn’t take her eyes off the girl.‭ ‬After a good ten minutes Camila knew she would have to be the one to break the silence.

‭"‬Hey Lauren‭? ‬Why did that girl call you CJ‭? ‬What are you thinking about‭?“

Lauren didn’t look to Camila but let out an audible sigh.‭

"Can we not talk about it here‭? ‬I can’t exactly talk about it in the open like this.‭ ‬That would actually be a disaster.‭” Lauren said looking around at all the people on the beach.

“Are you actually going to talk to me or is this just another distraction tactic of yours‭?” ‬Camila sounded a little upset.

‭"‬I promise if just you and I go somewhere I’ll tell you anything you want to know.‭" ‬Lauren said still not looking at the girl.

‭"‬Alright then let’s take them to my house Taylor and Sofi‭ ‬look like their getting along and my mom would love to watch them.‭"

“Are you sure she will watch them I mean Dinah’s mom is more than willing‭?”

“Just trust me.‭” ‬The three words that Lauren has the hardest time with.‭ “‬My mom loves little kids and especially ones that make her daughters smile.‭ ‬So hand over your phone so I can put my address in it.‭”

Lauren finally had looked at the girl and just handed over her phone willing.‭ “‬There must be something wrong with me.‭” ‬Lauren thought as she turned her attention back to her siblings.

‭"‬Why do you say that‭?“ ‬Camila asked throwing Lauren off a bit at the question.

‭"‬What‭?”

“You said there must be something wrong with me.‭ ‬What did you mean‭? ‬What is wrong with you‭?” ‬Camila asked giving Lauren back her phone.

Lauren laughed.‭ “‬I thought I said that in my head.‭ ‬But yeah anyways I never trust anyone.‭ ‬They have to earn my respect first.‭ ‬For some reason with you though,‭ ‬I cave in an instant. Seriously I just handed you my phone like it was nothing. I never do that.‭”

‭“Oh….well thanks for trusting me then.” Camila said not even sure if that was the right thing to say.

“So yeah I’m going to get the kids together.‭” ‬Lauren ran off to‭ ‬get them before Camila could say anything.

Maybe Camila did have a shot with Lauren,‭ ‬but somehow Camila knew that it was not going to be easy.‭ ‬Camila knew that she had probably only made it through one of Lauren’s barriers and she was determined to get through the rest.

‭"‬Alright girls you both go with Camila.‭ ‬Taylor please be good like always.‭"

Taylor nodded her head at Lauren like they had a silent agreement.‭ ‬Camila wondered what that was about,‭ ‬but when she really thought about it Taylor must know something about what is going on.

‭"‬Chris your with me so you can go with the boys to football practice later.‭"

They all picked everything up and were on their ways.‭ ‬Lauren later got to Camila’s house by bike and told her to get on they needed to go somewhere.‭ ‬Lauren went to the one place that she felt most at home,‭ ‬the gymnasium.‭ ‬Seeing as it was Saturday afternoon no one was there so Lauren used her copied keys and made her way inside.

‭"‬So that is how you got in.‭ ‬How did you get keys‭?“

"Coach is always losing those things,‭ ‬he left them one night and I made copies.‭ ‬Pays to know people.‭” ‬Lauren smirked.

‭"‬Okay I’ll take your word for it.‭ ‬Now care to tell me what all that was about on the beach today‭?“ ‬Camila passed the ball to Lauren.

Lauren lined up a shot and swooshed it.‭ "‬Well it was almost exactly what it looked like.‭ ‬What do you think it was I’m curious‭?” Camila grabbed the ball and dribbled it a few times,‭ “‬It look like someone you were scared of.‭ ‬When she first called you CJ the look‭ ‬on your face was like you had seen a ghost.‭ ‬Other than that I am not sure I stopped paying attention when you started flirting with her heavily.‭” ‬Camila passed Lauren the ball a little harder.‭

Lauren caught the ball and smiled knowing Camila was at least a little jealous that was a good thing right.‭ “‬Technically no I am not scared of her,‭ ‬what I am afraid of is that part of my life was never meant to mix with my real life here.‭” ‬Lauren shot again and swooshed it again. “I might have just screwed everything up.”

‭"‬What is mixing with what Lo‭? ‬I mean technically I still don’t know that much about you.‭" ‬Camila said as she dribbled the ball out and made her own shot.

‭"‬Well you are going to find out later tonight anyways.‭ ‬My undercover life was never meant to get anywhere close to the high school one.‭ ‬No one is ever suppose to get anywhere close to being able to figuring me out.‭" ‬Lauren grabbed the ball and dribbled out for a shot and made it.‭ ‬Camila grabbed it and passed it back to Lauren.

‭"‬Wait what are you undercover for‭? ‬Who do you work‭ ‬for‭? ‬What is it that you do‭? ‬Does it have anything to do with who hurts you‭?“ ‬Camila rambled out all the questions that it through Lauren off as she shot and the ball blasted off the front of the rim across the gym.

‭"‬Okay woah.‭ ‬That was a lot of questions at once.‭ ‬Just breathe Camz.‭” ‬Lauren sat down on the three point line where she was and patted the floor next to her.‭ ‬Camila walked over and sat down across from her instead.

‭"‬Now one at a time ask me what you want to know‭?“

Camila took a deep breathe,‭ "‬is it still anything I want to know like you promised at the beach‭?”

Lauren laughed,‭ “‬of course that is the first question and yeah it is anything goes.‭ ‬To a point.‭”

“Why did she call you CJ‭?”

“CJ is my undercover name that I only use with certain subjects to try and bust them.‭ ‬It is actually what you are going to have to call me tonight if we want to pull this off.‭” ‬Lauren answered fiddling with the ring on her thumb.

‭"‬Why exactly do I have to go tonight‭? ‬Am I going to be in danger‭?“‬ Camila looked a little worried.

‭"‬You will be in no more danger than if you were at a normal high school party.‭ ‬That is all this is.‭ ‬It just so happens that we will have the inside scoop on when the police will be there.‭ ‬Now with you being there I will have the perfect excuse of being upstairs‭ ‬when they bust in and get the dealers.‭ ‬You have to go tonight because blondie thinks that we’re dating,‭ ‬and I think she believes it too.‭ ‬Blondie kinda threatened me if I didn’t bring you,‭ ‬but really all you have to do is stay next to me and everything will be fine.‭” ‬Lauren took Camila’s hand.

Camila looked at their hands,‭ “‬you work for the police then‭?” ‬Lauren nodded.

‭"‬Why‭?“ ‬Lauren was actually waiting for that question.

‭"‬I almost got thrown‭ ‬in juvie when I got busted at a party.‭ ‬The detective at‭ ‬the time Jacks wanted to know why all of a sudden I was in the middle trying to be the life of the party but yet when shit hit the fan I helped everyone else get away leaving myself to get in trouble.‭ ‬I had a simple answer,‭ ‬no one else needed to be hurt.‭ ‬ I’ve never told him anything about why I said that.‭”

“Why did you say that‭?” ‬Camila stretched her legs out to one side and leaned back on her forearms.

Lauren mimicked the position,‭ “‬Oh you’re good Camz.‭ ‬I said it because of the other things going on‭ ‬in my life and to be honest it’s the truth.‭ ‬If I am already being hurt why would I want anyone else to go through what I am going through. I might as well take the punishment instead of my friends that were there at the time.‭”

“Will you tell me who is hurting you‭?” ‬Camila spoke it softly.

‭"‬I don’t know if I can I mean I have hid it for so long that I don’t even know if I could say it while thinking about it.‭" ‬Camila gave Lauren a confused look when Lauren started smiling when an idea popped into her head.

‭"‬Have you ever played speed asks‭?“‬

"No.‭” ‬Camila said curiously.

‭"‬Okay so I don’t think I am just going to out right tell anyone about that thing so what you have to do is think of a whole lot of questions.‭ ‬Ask me questions about basketball,‭ ‬my brother or sister,‭ ‬and then throw in the other one and because I am so wrapped up in playing the game I will just blurt it out and then you will know and I hopefully will be able to talk about it.‭" ‬Lauren said as she sat back up ready to play.

Camila sat up as well ready to play.‭ “‬What’s your favorite color‭?”

“Right now red.‭”

“How old are you‭?”

“"Seventeen.‭”

“Are you ready for the tournament next weekend‭?”

“Hell yeah.‭ ‬Ready to beat them all.‭”

“Do you like me‭?”

“Yeah.‭ ‬You’re cute.‭”

“What’s your favorite princess‭?”

“Ariel.‭ ‬Oh and Mulan.‭”

“Where are we going tonight‭?”

“To a party.‭”

“What are we going to do there‭?”

“Bust the drug dealer we’ve been trying to catch for a long time so that he can stop hurting high schoolers like us.‭”

“Who hits you‭?”

“The horrible person that I am suppose to call a dad.‭”

Camila’s jaw would have hit the floor if it wasn’t attached.‭ ‬No way.‭ ‬It couldn’t be right.‭ ‬Lauren did not just say that.‭ ‬How could a parent do that to their child.‭ ‬To someone like Lauren that was giving up stuff for her two siblings just so they were happy.‭ ‬Now Camila got it.‭ ‬Now she knew why Lauren said she had to prove to him that she wasn’t hurt.‭ ‬Lauren’s dad must have showed up at the game,‭ ‬maybe just for appearances.‭ ‬None the less now Camila wanted to love the girl even more,‭ ‬but would Lauren let her now that she knew‭ ‬her deep dark secret.‭ ‬However just like that Camila’s shocked face went to anger.‭ ‬Camila now wanted to confront Lauren’s dad and to find out what could ever possess him to hit the amazing beautiful girl in front of her.‭

Lauren looked down at the floor‭ ‬after what she just said knowing that Camila had to be judging her.‭ ‬There was a reason that she never told anyone.‭ ‬There is no way that Camila still wanted to be friends with her,‭ ‬maybe Lauren should start trying to push her away before it got any messier.‭ ‬The one thing though that she never expected was to look up and see a very attractive,‭ ‬pissed off cuban, and damn if she didn’t look good in raging anger. Then she saw the very person she was so afraid of telling her secret to.

‭"‬Jacks‭?“ ‬Lauren said no longer being able to hold back the tears.

[lets-get-sirius-about-stars]

Dream Catchers

OC(s):

Sirius Vance

Makayla Fray/Red Comet

Lucile Tylers

Schninner: So this takes place a few months after Sirius has been freed, so him and Makayla have been living with each other for that time. Makayla’s views on Sirius, She’s gotten more used to him to put it nicely. She still finds him extremely annoying, but considers him a good and trustworthy ally, one might even say friend. OOH! Also! Another important fact about them! So, both Makayla and Sirius suffer from awful nightmares, ones where they often wake up screaming. (Also, its before Luna had joined the team)

Warnings: mentions of torture, I’M TO TIRED FOR EDITS AND CORRECTIONS SO THERE’S GONNA BE TYPOS.

Word Count: 1372

Tagging; @preppygothica @maruthor @the-singing-canary  @royslittleharper @cuddles-for-cassie @hamsterforlive

Master list: (My content)     (Content made by others)    

Sirius’ Bracelet           Makayla’s Bracelet 

“Please,” a voice she barely recognized trembled as she spoke, her eyes drifted away from the tubes perturbing from her arms to the alien, the Pralen in front of her, it’s pale yellow head swiveled toward her and it’s three black beady eyes seemed to widen in surprise at the fact that she was still conscience, “please, no more.”

The creature didn’t understand her, they never did, instead it turned to its companion, opening its mouth to issue a series of quick alien words, some of which she could understand.

“…Activate... procedure…”

“No,” She weakly sobbed, straining hard against her restraints and watched helplessly as the Pralen’s hand grasped the handle to the switch.

“NO!” Her voice filled with desperation as she let out a glass shattering shriek.

The Pralen’s eye’s filled with nothing but pure fascination as he pulled the lever down, letting the concoction flow through the tubes.

Makayla watched in terror as the glowing red liquid entered her veins once more, felt the chemical burning through her veins, boiling her alive. She thrashed, her sweat soaked hair clung to her forehead and neck as she let out a howl.

“Stop!” A pair of strong hands grasped her arms tightly, keeping her from pressing against the restraints any further, “Let me go!”

“Fray, Fray!” shouted above Makayla’s thrashing as he gripped her forearms tightly, trying to prevent her from catching anything else in her room on fire.

Makayla eye’s snapped opened and went still, tears steaked down her face intertwining with the beads of cold sweat that had formed. Her breathe was shallow, and her crimson eyes seemed to pierce his Cerulean blue ones, fear still shining brightly through hers.

They sat there, on her bed, a moment more, the hot red energy emitting from her hands slowly cooling and dissipating. Her eyes finally tore away from his and went straight to her scarred hands that were gripping his forearms.

“Are you- Did I burn you?” Her voice was small and shaky, vastly foreign to her usual powerful commanding composure.

He wanted do badly to wrap his arms around her shoulders, to hold her tightly and tell her that it wasn’t real. He itched to embrace her tightly and never let her go, but he knew that she might truly try to burn him alive if he did. So, he stayed at arm’s length, his sky-blue fingers lightly wrapped around her scar speckled shoulders, and gave her a small forgiving smile.

“I’m a blue star, I’m literally, and metaphorically, the hottest thing in the galaxy, you’ll have to do more than that to burn me.”

Her shoulders sagged in relief as she loosened her grip on his arms and had her arms hug her knees closely to her chest, and Sirius reluctantly removed his hands from her shoulders. He watched closely in silence as her eyes darted to her smoldering pillow and blankets, glowing embers floated off and drifted into the air, her gaze slowly followed the ember.

“Hey,” he placed his blue fingers lightly on top of her hand, but she didn’t scold him or pull her hand away hastily per usual, “third bed sets the charm, right?”

She didn’t answer him, only remained silent for a bit longer, her ragged breathing eventually evening out until she was breathing normally.

“Did I wake you?” Her voice had regained some of its normality, but it still shook as she spoke.

Sirius absentmindedly ran his thumb lastly across the pink scarred tissue on the back of her hand, he shook his head, remembering his own horrifying nightmare. His mother, father, and his younger siblings, all of them, rapidly ageing and dying in front of his very eyes while he was held back, restrained from saving them. He had woken up not to long before he heard her screams echoing through their small shared apartment.

“No, don’t worry,” His voice soft and comforting, “I was up for a small snack break anyways.”

She nodded, absentmindedly and the two were cast back into silence. There they sat ten minutes longer, before Makayla inhaled sharply and wiped away the remaining tears wither right hand and spoke, “It’s late, we should go back to sleep.”

He nodded, his gradient blue messy hair bounced into his eyes as he gently stood up, lifting his hand from hers. “Okay Fray, but if you ever need me, you know where I live.”

This caused a small smile to press at her lips, he watched the faint scar on the left side of her mouth curve at the smile and his heart hammered loudly in his chest. He would forever be grateful to the darkness for covering the dark blue blush that was undoubtedly forming across his cheeks.

“Thanks Sirius.” She responded, before he turned around and left her room, his footsteps matching the rapid thumping of his pulse.

She hadn’t realized he was holding her hand until he let it go, allowing the cool air to caress her hand once more. She still felt the warmth from where his hand had rested on hers, her traitorous mind flashing back to how close they had been…

She shook her head, and hugged her knees even tighter. Remembering the needles, the pain, in insufferable burning.

She shuddered, before getting out of her bed and fishing out her costume. One thing was for sure, here was no way she was going back to sleep.

A sharp smack sounded in front of Makayla, causing her to bolt upright at the tiny dining room table. She was still in her costume from her little heroing around Gotham last night and must have collapsed into the chair and slept. She inclined her head, sleepily removing the black domino mask from her face, to find the blue wonder that was Sirius.

He looked ecstatic this morning, already dressed and he had even managed to run a comb through his hair. He beamed happily at Makayla and nudged the box e had dropped toward her. Makayla rubbed the bags under her eyes and drowsily gave the blue star a quizzical look.

“It’s for you!” He chirped, nearly bursting from excitement. “Go on, open it!”

Makayla looked down at the small box, her mind slowly putting the pieces together. She was usually slow in the mornings, but only surviving a total of about 6 hours of sleep this week had taken it’s toll.

Her warm fingers opened the small box to reveal a small bracelet woven together with blue and white strings and in the center of it was a small dream catcher.

“I looked up ways to get rid of nightmares on the cellular device you gave me, the nice google lady told me that these are supposed to catch the bad dreams. I got one to, see?” he lifted his sleeve to reveal that he was indeed wearing a red version of the bracelet. “ooh! And don’t worry, I asked Lucile to get it, so you don’t have to worry about the whole secret identity thing!”

Makayla let out a soft breathy chuckle, shaking her head ever so slightly, she lifted her gaze to his,

“Sirius this…”

She was going to tell him that it didn’t work, that it was just some superstition. But looking at the happiness that shone in his eyes, the uncontainable joy that emitted from his mile, she just didn’t have the heart to do so, and she didn’t understand why. Last week she would have told him exactly that, but things seemed different now.

She slipped the bracelet over her wrist and smiled, “-this is perfect.”

She looked back at him, “thank you.”

Sirius beamed, “You know, since I did a good thing, do you think that I deserve a hug?” He outstretched his arms in expectance.

Makayla’s heart hammered unexpectedly in her chest, and she could feel the ends of her ears go hot, but she retained her composure and cocked her head to the side raising an eyebrow at him, “Don’t push it Blue boy.”

Sirius lowered his arms in defeat, but a cocky smile still plastered to his face revealing the one dimple on his right cheek “Ahh well, it was worth a shot.”

[dancing-the-hellfire-rumba]

Ethos || Part 2

I decided that for every chapter I will include a greek word

Kefi (κέφι) (n.) the spirit of joy, enthusiasm, high spirits and frenzy, in which god times and passion for life are expressed with an abundance of excitement, happiness and fun. 

Warnings: fluff, semi-smut

Pairing: Sam x Reader

Words: 1.6K

Summary: Sam, being the adorable nerd he is, decides he wants to explore the culture, habits and traditions of his girlfriend’s home country. The reader decides to make him part of her culture.

A/N: This took a whole month and I’m SO SORRY. Once again I wanna thank the beautiful, amazing and funny @imagining-supernatural for beta-ing this. It would’ve been terrible without you, honestly. Thanks. Lastly, I wanna say I suck at writing anything related to smut and I’m quite awkward at doing so, so apologies if any of my awkwardness is showing.

Catch up HERE

“They were what now?” I asked shaking my head in disbelief.

“Starved. Their bodies were literally skin and bones and the autopsy said that it’s like the victims hadn’t eaten in months.” Sam shook his head, thumbing through a big Men Of Letters book. He was in a comfortable chair, in the library of the bunker, which barely contained the whole 6’4”, long-legged and strong-armed man that he was. The skin between his eyebrows creased in confusion.

“And you said there were no hex bags in the bar?”

“Nope, nada.” Dean approached the library with three beers in his hands, placing two in front of Sam and me and sitting on the chair next to mine across from his little brother. He opened his beer and took a sip, shaking his head.

“Something tells me this will be no ordinary hunt, boys,” I stated, leaning back in my chair and gulping down some beer. Dean hummed.

“Good. Been getting tired of all those salt and burn hunts lately.” He said, shaking his head.

“I bet you’ll regret saying that in a couple days, Winchester.” I smiled and got up. “Welp, while you and him,” I pointed at him and Sam, “go interrogate witnesses, I’ll stay back and cook dinner. Been a while since we ate actual homemade food and not burgers or Chinese.” I looked at Dean pointedly.

“What’s wrong with burgers and Chinese?” he asked defensively.

“What’s wrong is the belly that has started to form.” I patted his stomach playfully. He slapped my hand away and huffed, rolling his eyes as Sam watched the sibling-like encounter unfold in amusement.

“Go. Suit up, boys. We’ve got work to do” I smiled and walked to Sam, pecking his lips. He smiled into the kiss. As he let me go, he closed the book in his hands and got up in sync with Dean

Both brothers walked in different directions, towards their rooms while I padded to the kitchen  “Time to get to work.”

A couple of hours later, around 7 pm, the old, heavy door of the bunker creaked open. I jumped from my bed and slid through the corridors in my socks, slightly giggling, and nearly ran into a wall in the process. I burst into the war room panting. Sam saw my ruffled hair and short breath and shot me a knowing smile. This wasn’t the first time he had caught me sliding around.

He was alone, Dean nowhere in sight. I took the opportunity and walked to the younger brother, still giggling, and wrapped my arms around his neck. He smiled at my childish behavior and snaked his arms around my waist. His Fed suit fit him perfectly, complimenting his broad shoulders. I grinned, playing with the collar of his button up.

Sam smiled at me teasingly. He leaned down and rested his forehead on mine. His nose nudged mine, making me giggle and push up to my tip toes, locking my lips with his.

It was sweet, playful. Not exactly passionate. He’d pull away just a fraction, making me lean further and chase his lips before he gave in and pressed them back against mine. I’d bite his bottom lip and grin into the kiss as he’d moan a little and smile as well. Before I knew it I was pressed against the nearest wall, holding on to his shoulders. Heat spread on my skin from his big hands, which were now holding my bare thighs for support. A grin spread across my lips as I tightened my legs around his waist, pulling him closer

His jacket was soon to come off, followed quickly by my shirt, discarded somewhere in the room. I huffed and sighed, running my hands through his hair. The kiss turned heated and passionate, hungry. His lips tasted of mint; he obviously must’ve been chewing gum earlier. They continued to move against mine, molding and crushing.

“Dean?” I mumbled out the question, not losing contact with his lips for more than a second. Sam grunted and pulled me away from the wall, guiding us to the room. He pressed me up on every wall on the way there, garments of clothing spread all over the hall.

The bed was soft against my back, the springs barely creaking, as Sam lightly dropped me on it. Hands traveling on bare skin, I shivered under his touch. He pulled me closer, our chests pressing up against one another. I loved it. Being so close to him, touching him, feeling his rough fingertips on me.

I was all logic and cool detachment until I touched him. Then something not only stirred within me but took over my entire body, my thoughts, my being. The rest of the world became an unimportant blur that was pushed, banished to the deepest corners of my mind. The only that mattered was Sam. I was surrounded by him. Surrounded by Sam, and suddenly in languid motions of naked skin, I was home. 

The bunker’s door creaked open and closed once again. Sam and I were seated in the kitchen, waiting for Dean to show up. I was in a flannel of his and boxers. Sam would smile every now and then, thinking of what had taken place not ten minutes ago. Exhausted and hungry, Dean dropped on the seat of the kitchen table. He took one good look at us and shook his head

“I swear, you two are like damn rabbits,” he huffed and put his head in his hands. I blushed and Sam muttered ‘jerk’ with a smile. “Bitch” Dean replied. “Please tell me there’s food,” he asked, looking at me with pleading eyes. I smiled and nodded, placing three plates on the table. “What the…?”

On each plate there were squares of baked pasta layered with meat, more pasta and béchamel sauce. The rich smell of baked food wandered in the air reminding me of home. It is a smell like no other.

“It’s called Pastitsio.” I smiled proudly. Sam gave me a weird smile, scratching his arm in nervousness. He grabbed a fork and cut a piece off the plate, twirling the fork and inspecting the bite.

“Pas-what now?” Dean asked desperately, with a hint of disgust on his face.

“Alright, both of you! Eat first and then talk.” I stated in a strict motherly tone making them both look at each other, then me, before digging in hesitantly. Both brothers’ faces lit up as soon as the food touched their tongues. They started shoveling the food in their mouths, making me swell in pride and start eating myself.

“Okay, I take it back, this is great,” Dean mumbled with his mouth stuffed.

“What even is it?” Sam asked, shoving a forkful in his mouth.

“Pasta with ground meat and béchamel sauce” I grinned. Both Winchesters grunted in approval. We continued eating in silence for a few minutes, enjoying the creamy texture and explosion of tastes of food on our tongues before I broke the silence.

“So, care to fill me in?” I asked. During the next half hour, the boys proceeded to explain what the witnesses had told them. They talked to me about how the doors were locked ten minutes before screams erupted from the bar. How a man with weird hair exited the place afterwards and how each and every victim was healthy and okay right before the incident. Lastly, they told me how there were eighteen people in that bar and the police found ten bodies and eight skeletons and meat and blood all around, indicating that eight people were…eaten.

I shuddered at that, putting my hand over my mouth to prevent myself from vomiting the just eaten food. A hand rubbed my back slightly for comfort as Dean nodded in understanding and agreement.

“I hate witches, man,” Dean rubbed his eyes tiredly.

“What makes you think it’s a witch?” I asked curiously, feeling the warmth of Sam’s arm around my waist. I sat closer to him, snuggling to his side.

“Well… what else could it be?” Dean asked.

“I dunno.” I shrugged.

“I’m gonna do some research tomorrow,” Sam said, running a hand through his hair.

 “Me too. I’ve been too lazy to do shit in this case. I’ll help the rest of the way.” I said.

“I could use some whiskey, right about now.” Dean went to get up before I put a hand on his shoulder and sat him back down.

“I actually have a gift for you two. I want you to try Ouzo.” I got up from my seat and went to the cabinets.

“Oh boy.” Dean rolled his eyes. Suddenly, out of nowhere, Cas was in the kitchen with a cold “hello.” Everyone flinched, turning to look at him. By instinct my arm reached for the nearest knife, until I realized who was standing there.

“Jesus, Cas,” Sam put a hand over his heart, feeling it nearly beat out of his chest. Cas walked to the table and sat next to Dean. I smiled, grabbing the bottle and four glasses on the table.

“Now that Cas is here, y’all are gonna try the most traditional Greek drink.” I swelled a little with pride. Sam looked up at me smiling. “Now, I have to warn you. It has a really intense taste-“ Before I was done, Dean had poured us all a glass of the clear liquid. The scent of alcohol along with added sweetness wafted for a second in the air before disappearing.

“No, you dumbass it needs water it’s too-“ Dean had already taken down a big gulp and was coughing violently from the intense sweetness of the liquor. I started laughing my ass off, Sam looking at his brother in amusement.

“What the hell is this?!” he said exasperated, still coughing.

“And that is why they say patience is a virtue.” I grinned, putting some ice in everyone’s glass and taking a sip of my own, now turning white, drink, smiling.

Tags: (If you [don’t] want to be tagged, just send me an ask :3 )

@aubreyreadsstuff @iwantthedean @doro7winchester @mrswhozeewhatsis @ellen-reincarnated1967 @smoothdogsgirl @amanda-teaches @skybinx-blog @infinitewinter @hand-over-the-friggin-pie  @potato-that-needs-therapy @deanxfuckingadorablexwinchester

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #59

much much much shorter than i usually do because of a breakdown towards the end.  wanted to post anyway.

do you sleep on a blanket over your mattress with another blanket on top, or with just one blanket on top of you?   just one blanket on top of me. personally, what do you believe happens when a person dies?   the body obviously decomposes and is recycled into the earth, but the spirit is assigned to heaven or hell. you’ve been given the option to choose how the human race reproduces. how would we reproduce, which sex would bare children, and how would we bare them? (eggs, litters, etc)   errr.  i think human reproduction is fine the way it is. weirdest fetish you’ve ever found out about and how?   dude, you find some SHIT when you click on "random deviant" on deviantart and you might find a fetish artist.  the weirdest i've ever come across, that i remember anyway, i'm pretty sure were sonic characters in diapers...?  safe to say, i clicked away very quickly, because i was very disturbed. what’s your favorite meme?   i guess because i'm in the south, the shiba inu going "what in tarnation" really makes me laugh. write a plot for a tv show that you would most definitely watch.   oh my god, i had a dream about a month ago about a girl falling in love with a video game character somehow, who was entirely self-conscious and aware, and she entered his world just to be with him, and he fucking lost it with joy?  i woke up when she asked him how she could stay there, and the guy screamed, "just believe" or something like that.  it was SUPER over-dramatic, but honestly incredibly cute.  i'd totally watch something like that. one thing you’d love to wake up to?   jason. favorite quote/saying?   "harleen, what did he tell you?"  "he said he loved me." favorite video you’ve ever watched?   OH MY FUCK YA'LL what was that vine of the guy in the flower crown or something and he was looking for his berries?  he had the funniest fucking voice and expressions.  I NEED TO KNOW. type/act like you did when you were 13 and describe your plans for tonight.   OH FUCK NO KILL IT. your hair can be any color you want, but its permanently there. for an example, you can dye your hair another color after, but the color you originally choose will always grow back in eventually. what color do you choose?   blonde, so i don't have to bleach my hair. do you believe that karma can come back and slap you in the face?   i do not believe in karma, no.  because some people get away with fucking everything. did your last kiss end up with you and the person doing anything sexual?   i don't remember. who is your ex dating/talking to?   some lucky fucking slug named ashley. did you ever have to share a room with one of your siblings?   i did, yes. are your parents going to buy you a car?   realistically, they probably will be how i get a vehicle. what kind of things do you post on tumblr?   on my main tumblr blog?  rhett&link/gmm stuff, mainly. do you go on reddit? what subs do you follow?   i do not. do you learn from your mistakes or find yourself constantly repeating them?   both, honestly. what do you dislike at the moment?   everything, honestly.  being alive more than anything. ever thrown up in public?   i have not. has anyone ever sang or played music for you personally?   fucking kill me with these questions.  yes.  jason would quite often turn on a song he knew was special to me/us and would always just smile at me before going back about his business. what time will you be getting up tomorrow morning?   never would be nice. how many pills do you take a day?   seven i think because my brain is trying to kill me. could you ever be friends with someone that broke your heart?   lmao tried that, fuck that. what’s the reason you’re in the mood that you’re in now?   because i'm a sorry bitch who can't accept her ex doesn't love her anymore. do you play the games on myspace/facebook?   no, i don't. are your grandparents dead?   only my dad's dad and my mom's mom are alive. who all do you live with?   my mom and younger sister. the last person you kissed treat you right?   yeah, until he decided "fuck you and your sickness, i'm gone." would you be shocked if the last person you had feelings for texted you?   i'll tell you how i'd feel, i'd feel fucking ecstatic.  right now, i'd literally sob from joy. who knows your biggest secrets?   jason knows them all.  even the sexting adventure. who is someone who puts up with you no matter what?   only my mom.  but she'll leave me eventually, too. what are you listening to at this moment in time?   "i miss you" by blink-182.  it really makes me think of j. have you ever seen your father cry?   i have not. is the person you love/like deserving of your affections? why/why not?   he was, but is he anymore?  i... don't know. has a wild animal ever been loose in your house?   mice, yes. have you ever found a spider on your bed?   omg yeah. has anyone ever tried stealing your boyfriend/girlfriend away?   yes, my second one, if you count him that is.  juan. if you were in the hospital, do you think any of your exes would come see you?   nope.  though i'm sure he'd be the reason for me being in there to begin with.  he didn't come see me when i directly requested him to last time i was hospitalized, so i'm certain he wouldn't without me asking. what do you have in common with the last person you kissed?   we're both pretty big metalheads. do you think french kissing is gross?   if you love the person, not at all.  now walking up to some random person and doing it, yeah, that's gross. the last male you spoke to… is he attractive?   i'm personally not attracted to him. do you have any pet names for the person you love/like?   mainly just "j bird," but i didn't give that nickname to him.  he's had it since he was born. don’t you love to eat watermelon on hot, sunny days?   i don't like 99% of watermelon, too watery.  only ever had one good watermelon, and that was from my former best friend jenna's grandmother's garden. do you like long surveys or short ones?   i think i've made it quite obvious i like long ones.  i don't even post short ones. do you edit pictures that you put online?   i always do vaguely. do you believe that animals don't have souls?   i know they have souls.  no way in hell they don't. have you ever felt like you're trapped inside your life? what did you do or do you do to cope with that feeling?   yeah, and be suicidal. last time someone flirted with you?   juan obviously was some months ago. ever known anyone who could “see right through” you?   jason. when you're being kissed do you like it when they hold your face?   oh my fuck yes have you ever felt like you actually loved someone?   i more than loved him.  still do.  i'd die for him.  i'd experience relentless agony in hell for him.  i'd jump in front of a train for him.  i'd.  do.  anything.  because i love him and want him safe. if the last person you kissed tried to kiss you again, would you start kissing?   i'd start sobbing while i ripped his fucking clothes off. is there anything you’re currently holding back?   i am fighting so hard against chugging all the pills i have.  they're in a bag right beside my bed from when i went to colleen's.  i'm exhausted, so i'd pass out and hopefully die easily.  i just genuinely don't want to be alive anymore, i'm just so scared to die.  okay i'm actually just going to post this now, take some meds for my anxiety, and go to bed.  at least, try to.  happier attitude with surveys tomorrow, hopefully...

[myfatgaylife]

Dealing with past trauma

One of the biggest challenges for me coming up to a new year is to deal with things that have happened in the past and learn how to make peace with them.

As I mentioned in my previous post when I turned 17 I became very angry and even found myself hard to deal with. 17 was also the year self harm became an issue for me... Anger is a tricky emotion, for me it eats away at me inside and the only way I could vent my anger was to sometimes hurt myself. To the outside world I was very sure of myself and knew what I wanted in life, but inside I hated myself.

Self hate is another complicated emotion because I cant describe to you what it’s really like to hate yourself. Everything that went wrong in life I blamed myself for, I blamed myself for being bullied in school and told myself I was weak, I blamed myself for being overweight, gay and depressed. There is a particular memory that sticks out in my mind, I just turned 18 and lost my virginity, the guy I slept with treated me like a one night stand and I felt unwanted, keep in mind that my biggest trigger is not feeling good enough. I remember my friend telling me on facebook chat that he wasn’t interested in me... and when I look back I literally think “what the fuck was you thinking?” the guy I slept with was NOT my type at all and I didn’t even like him as a person but at that age I just wanted to be wanted. I struggled with my body image all of my life so when I gave my body to someone and then they rejected me I found it really hard to deal with. After my friend told me this I remember going up stairs and crying, I filled up the bath tub and stared at myself in the mirror until the steam made it impossible to see my reflection, I opened the bathroom cupboard and grabbed a pair of scissors, I held them to my wrists and told myself “this is my fault, i’m not good enough, I deserve this.”  I scratched the skin on my arm and cut the top of my thighs. After I threw the scissors across the room and lay in the bath staring at the ceiling. That was the first time I cut myself, when I was younger I used to hit myself, scratch myself but I had never cut. The next week I saw the guy at a house party I went to and got with another guy, it was also the first time I tried a cigarette. When you first start smoking you get nicotine rush and getting that when you’re off your head on vodka was a pretty good buzz (not recommending taking up smoking).

Growing up I had a lot of problems with my dad, he did not want a gay son and I tried my hardest to change myself, I even went out with a girl for six months and cried when we broke up. Thinking back to that moment I think the tears might have been tears of joy. 

FUN STORY - My first real kiss was with my ex girlfriend, I remember laying on my bed with her and she slipped her tongue in my mouth, I screamed sat up and asked if she just spit on me. She looked embarrassed and told me it was her tongue, that was the exact moment when I knew I did not like tongue that much during kissing, sure a little now and again can be fun but please keep it in your mouth around 87% of the time. 

Anyway, my dad did not want a gay son and he tried his hardest to make me more manly throughout my childhood without much success. He used to take me the football matches and I honestly had no idea what was happening the whole time I was there, the only thing that kept me going was thinking about the burger I was going to eat at half time. As I got older my dads frustration with the person I was becoming was starting to show and the way he talked to me became more abusive. I remember at the age of 11 I was being bullied on a daily basis and I was anxious to go to school, I used to choke on my own tears walking to school and struggled getting to sleep at night because all I could think of was what was going to happen the next day. We were sat inside a restaurant and I told my mom and my dad I hated school and I couldn’t wait until the day I leave the school behind. He said to me calmly “You know what your problem is?” I told him I didn't and waited to hear some kind of sound advice about how to deal with my bullies but instead he said “you feel sorry for yourself” and those words have haunted me for the rest of my life. Every time I became sad or struggled with my mental health I heard my dads voice in my head “You feel sorry for yourself.”. Those few words changed the way i viewed myself... I began to see myself as an attention seeker and never talked about my problems again to him or to anyone else. A trait I carried into adulthood with me, I didn't tell my friends or my family I was struggling with my mental health and for my teen years I struggled in silence. I have problems with my dad to this day and I think I will have them for the rest of my life, he has always been harder on me than my older sibling and even now he still sometimes speaks to me like shit, family though right? 

Bullying throughout my childhood was the thing that had affected me most in life and around about a year ago I started to experience only what I can describe as flashbacks. I remember laying in a room and suddenly I was in the drama department in my High School, I looked down and I was standing up and two of my class mates were kicking me in my legs and I just stood there and watched, I remember the shame I felt while it was happening to me, wishing I could do something to make it stop but I was too scared and I stood there and let it happen to me. I remember thinking once its stopped i’ll go to the bathroom, lock the cubical door and cry until the aching in my shins stop. After class I just pretended it didn't happen to me. I won’t go into all the ins and outs of the bullying I experienced during High School because I am trying to let go of it all but as you can imagine almost all of it was homophobic attacks. Teachers told me that it was my fault and I should try and be more quiet and keep myself to myself. 

Another big moment in my life also happened when I was 11, I remember being in class and a teacher noticed that I had drawn on a table or something stupid like that. He told me to go to the front of my class, i did, and put my nose on the white board which I refused and as I did he stood at the back of the class and folded his arms. Kids started to shout things at me and throw things at me, I sat back down in my seat, I was surrounded by about 5 other students who began mocking me, grabbing me and pushing me. I grabbed my bag ran out of the class and became emotionally hysterical and thinking about this now I think this was my first panic attack. I can’t really describe what it’s like for a child to experience getting assaulted in front of an adult, a teacher who should be looking after you. 

My goal going into 2019 is to let go of the hate I hold for myself and stop blaming myself for letting these things happen to me because its not my fault I was bullied, I did not ask other kids to cause me physical or mental abuse and I can’t blame myself what happened.