#my workplace needs one so fucking bad but i can't be the one to start it

[underwhelmingalchemist]

I want to unionize my workplace so fucking bad but I have been explicitly banned from starting unions by my family 😭

[luulapants]

Existential despair is so common in a person's twenties, I think, because up until that point, we've had a pretty clear road map for what's expected of us and we haven't had much reason to question that map. There are still a few milestones outlined for us (start a career, get married, make babies) but more and more young people are entering the post-school world and realizing:

A) that career thing just isn't happening like they said it would

B) I'm not ready to get married/I don't want to get married/marriage isn't the sort of life-altering event that it used to be

C) I'm not ready to make babies/I don't want a baby/I can't afford to raise children right now (see point A)

And in the absence of these milestones to shoot for (which one could argue weren't the promise of fulfillment they claimed to be in the first place), what we're left with is this aimless abyss of "the rest of our lives" sprawling out ahead of us with no indication of how it will go or what we should be doing to shape it. Young people start their first jobs, find they hate them, and think to themselves, "Is this it? Am I just supposed to do this job until I'm too old to do it or die first?"

Which is, yeah, really fucking depressing!! So here's my best attempt at an alternate roadmap for young people that don't vibe with the old model. Please feel free to add in your own suggestions!

Learn how you work and what you want out of a job. Unless you've been in a job-specific training program that gives you hands-on experience, your first jobs should be experiments. Learn how a full-time job feels for you, what elements are more or less difficult. Different workplaces have different cultures and expectations - what do you need out of a job environment? Do you need to find fulfillment in your job or is it enough for it to pay the bills and leave you time to find outside fulfillment? Do you want to climb a corporate ladder or are you content to hunker down as long as your bills get paid? This period of experimentation is exhausting and may feel like it's consuming your whole life.

Learn how to make time for things outside of work. Adapting to a full-time work environment often leaves you feeling so drained that you can't do anything but go home and collapse on the couch every day. That's fine - for a little while. But it can also become a habit. You need to learn how to do things after work or you'll go crazy. Go to a trivia night. Start an exercise schedule. Take a class in your community. Find volunteer work. Join a band. You will find that putting more things into your day makes you feel like you have more time, not less.

Find a community. Making friends as an adult can feel impossible. Where do you find these mysterious friends everyone seems to have?? This goes along with #2, though. As you start regularly attending the same activities, you will find that repeat interactions with the same people turn into friendships or at least friendly acquaintances. Say yes to invitations. Get involved in your local community. Strive to be connected enough to bump into people at the grocery store.

Unlearn bad lessons. We all internalize some messed up things when we're growing up. As you start off your adult life, that's the time to actively work at unpacking the things you've brought with you from childhood and deciding which things are helping you and which things are harming you. This might mean therapy or joining a spiritual group or reading new things or just making special time to be in your own head.

Learn the lessons you missed. In this, I mostly mean practical things. "Adulting." Areas of your day-to-day practical life that are causing you extreme stress are probably related to a knowledge or experience gap. Do you hate cooking and cleaning or were you not taught how to do it properly? Are you afraid of making medical appointments or is it just something new you're not used to? Does money make you queasy or do you need to learn how to make a budget?

Find something fulfilling. This can be your job. It can be volunteer work. It can be faith. It can be a hobby. It can be creating things. It can be challenging yourself physically. It can be activism. It can be going for walks in nature. Everyone finds fulfillment in different places. If you're not finding it where you are, look somewhere else.

[josephquinnswhore]

Red Wine & Reparation - joel miller x female reader

Summary: you and Joel became young parents, married young and divorced young.. coparenting can be hard.. especially when you still love each other.

Word Count: 7k

Content Warnings: no outbreak, awkward divorced young couple, Joel Miller being a cat guy, flirting, awkwardness, slight implication of attempted SA. Unprotected sex, oral—female receiving, praise, pet names, tongue fucking, slight submissive Joel???? Creampie, mentions of pregnancy, and breastfeeding kink ??

Note: in this fic female reader & Joel are the same age, late 20’s in this fic!! This is my contribution for this week lol.

You were expecting a visit from Joel in a few hours; although you’d tried to be in contact with him, it seemed he was struggling to get back to you. Texts gone unanswered, calls sent straight to voicemail. It was unusual, and as clingy as you felt, it wasn't like Joel not to be in contact, especially when it came to your daughter, Sarah.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

He calls your name from the other side of the door. “Hey, you home?”

The door swings open and Joel stands on the other side of the door, you can't ignore the subsequent look of franticness in his brown eyes. “Hey.” His second greeting is a little more relaxed, if anything a little bashful. The tips of his ears are red under his dark brown curls.

“I just got a new phone, had a little malfunction at work with the other one, mind putting your number in?” You take the new phone, something that seemed way too fancy for Joel, an Iphone 13. As if your eyebrows raise of their own accord, it doesn't go unnoticed by him.

“I never took you for a man that cared about keeping up with the trends.” Your remark earns a scoff. “I just want to be able to keep up with everything Sarah’s into these days, all the facebooking and snapping or whatever she's got.”

His social unawareness pulls a laugh from her dry throat. “I'm surprised she wants you on her snapchat, teenage girls don’t normally want their parents seeing what they’re up to.”

He grunts. “How are you anyway—both of you.. I mean.”

“Things have been okay, I've taken a step back from work to try and relax a bit more, you know?” Although Joel nods, he can't relate, he’d just gone through the ringer of starting his own business with Tommy.

But Joel knows you need a break, he notices the physical telltale signs of stress. Lines beside your eyes that didn't seem visible a few months ago, the slight strain in yout voice and even your physical stance seems off. You seem to be trying to mask it, but he notices.

“Everything at work alright? They givin’ you trouble again?”

Again. How you'd forgotten about the last time you confided about how bad work had been getting. The unpaid overtime and extensive workload. Joel seemed furious at the thought of you wearing yourself thin and had even rung your workplace, that's an incident that got you a written warning.

In an attempt to dismiss his worries you wave your hand. “Ah it's not so bad, I’ve taken some time off with what little annual leave I have.”

“That’s good. You work too hard, you do.” His voice is softer than it had been a moment ago, his gaze settling on your own. He tries his hardest to suppress the memories as he stares into your eyes, he tries to forget how easy things were back then in comparison to now.

You break eye contact as you feel your kitten rubbing herself up against your legs. The little creature lets out a small mew.

Joel’s shock is evident on his face, the fluffy white bundle of fur rubs itself along your pant leg, its tiny mews echoing in his ears. “Oh my god, what in the world..” He stammers. “Is that…?”

Your entire face heats up. “I know.. I've never been a fan of cats but.. She's cute right?”

Joel can't help the instinctual reaction to kneel down onto the floor to get a closer look at the fluffy bundle of fur. He lets the small creature sniff his hand before petting her. With every stroke of his fingers along her pointed ears, she purrs louder. “What's her name?”

“Her names angel. Sarah named her.”

“Of course she would,” Joel murmurs, still petting the kitten as he looks up at you from the floor. “How'd you end up with a kitten anyhow?”

You huff at the memory. “Found her on the side of the road, I think someone dumped her.”

“God, that’s terrible. Why would anyone do something like that? Who just dumped a living animal in the middle of the road?” He shakes his head as he grumbles angrily. He strokes the kitten in a softer manner, expressing his sympathy for the little animal.

You're stewing in your own irritation at the thought. “Some jackass.”

The conversation seems to grow quiet, with the only noise being the kitten’s contented purrs. “She's a lucky kitty is what she is, havin’ two special girls lookin’ after her.” He murmurs, leaning in to tickle the small kitten under the chin with a chuckle.

“I never took you for a cat man, hell—you're looking like such a softie right now,” you tease.

“It's the one thing you never really knew then, right?” The kitten rolls on its back, purring as it scratches itself on the soft creamy carpet. “I bet you would’ve known all my soft spots had things been different back then.”

A sombre mood falls between the two. “Maybe so..”

Joel turns away with a regretful look in his eyes, it's a painful truth, and one the pair had both seemed to accept. Despite the way the two had seemed to adapt to the co-parenting situation.. They're both reminded every single day since their split of what could have been.

“Yeah.. maybe so.” He lets out a sigh, watching as the small kitten runs off, and he's left kneeling on the floor as he watches after it. He doesn't really know what to say.. And he's not sure you do either, it’s awkward to have these quiet moments between them.

“You know.. Sarah told me you went on a date last week.” You try to sound as encouraging as possible, but even as your heart cracks, it seems to break the silence brewing between you. And honestly, you’re nosey.

His face seems to redden at your playful accusation. “Damn.. she really has no filter, does she?” An awkward chuckle follows as he lets out a small groan and his knees crack as he stands up off the floor. As his gaze meets your own again, he wonders how you'll take the news. If he’s lucky, you’ll be jealous.

“She's a smart kid.. observant.” A small moment of silence briefs the conversation before you can stop yourself from asking.. “How was it? The date I mean.”

“That she is..” Joel murmurs before adding reluctantly. “The date was just.. Not a good fit. It didn't go well.” He shrugs, but you knew it would've been a massive blow to his self esteem. “I don't know why I tried… just thought.. maybe..” He rubs the back of his head and chuckles anxiously as he trails off.

It seems his self esteem did take quite the blow.

“Don't be so hard on yourself now, you're a catch, and any good woman will see that.”

Joel’s eyes narrow into a frown. “I'm hardly a catch.. Let's be real, I work too much.” He pauses. “Maybe I'm still caught up on..” He catches himself before he admits it..

Your ears perk at this. “Who doesn't love a hardworking man.” You tease lightly.

He manages a smile at your teasing. “I’m not a catch.. this..” He gestures to himself pitifully. “Is not a catch. Truth be told I’m.. I'm still pretty caught up on you and I'm not even ashamed to say it.”

“Hell—why?” Is all you manage to ask in a stutter.

“Because..” He lets out a frustrated noise and scratches his head anxiously. “Because I should have fought for you, I should have tried harder. You were everything I wanted. Still are.. Honestly.” His tone takes a solemn tone. “That doesn't just go away, all of those feelings.”

“You're right.. They don't just go away.” Your agreement to his statement has him wondering, his eyes searching your face for any sliver of teasing.

“So.. what does that mean? If I was to say.. If I was to ask something stupid.. Would you be angry?”

You're a little confused by his sudden bashfulness. “That depends on what you're asking.”

“Hypothetically..” He starts. “If I were to ask you out on a date, for old times sake..” He trails off and doesnt look back at you, there's a pregnant silence between you both..

“You want to take me on a date?” You ask in confusion.

He clears his throat and looks up to you, his eyes shifting around the room. “Is that a stupid question?”

“Well.. how about you ask me on a real date and maybe… I’ll say yes..”

His head spins in a daze, his heart doubles in size as he realises how much he wants this. “...are you serious?”

You simply nod, waiting for him to ask you on a date properly.

He's nervous, shifting from foot to foot, as if this was the hardest thing he's ever had to ask. “Okay then..” He mumbles to himself, clearing his throat, trying to steady his voice. “Would you care to.. Join me for a dinner date.. at my place?”

He actually asked..

“I would be happy to join you for dinner, Joel.”

It seems as if he's having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that you actually accepted. Even though it's what he wanted, needed.. He had somehow still expected you to decline. The look in your eye contractics his anxiety, though.

“You sure?” He asked, insecurity evident in his shallow voice. “I mean, you still remember how much I work, right? I have to finish this job for a client, he's on my ass about it, keeps asking me when I'm gonna be finished, but I told him I'm on track. Gonna put in some big hours to get this done.”

How could you forget, it was the reason you split all those years ago. His work was all consuming.

Your heart aches at his attempt to push you away–to take your pending rejection on the chin. “How about you let me know when you're free and you can cook for me, hm?”

The offer was flexible, giving him a chance to relieve himself of the pressure and try to find a day that works for you both.

Joel seemed to appreciate the offer, and his face visibly relaxed. “That sounds perfect, as soon as this project is done, and this client is off my ass, then we’ll figure out our date.”

“Sounds great, just send me a text and let me know, yeah?” You smile and tuck your phone into your jean pocket.

“Count on it.” He spoke with such promise it was hard not to get excited about what was to come.. Maybe they could rekindle what they once had. “I'll talk to you later then?” He takes a step towards the front door, his phone rings loudly, you assume it's a client of his.

“Yeah, we’ll talk later..”

As you close the door, it takes a moment to process what had just happened. A stupidly big smile resides on your lips, giddy with excitement, the disbelief that this is happening. Joel doesn’t text till late, but you’re ecstatic that he did get into contact about something other than who has custody of Sarah for the weekend.

Joel Miller 😉 10:45 pm

Hey, I'm sorry it's late, I just wanted to catch up. How's this weekend sound to you? For our date..

You. 10:47 pm

No sweat. What time were you thinking?

Joel Miller 😉 10:50 pm

Hoping to see you around 7. I'll cook dinner and we can just hang out. Unless you wanted to do something else?

You. 10:52 pm

No. it sounds perfect. 7 works for me.

Joel Miller 😉 10:53 pm

Great.. See you at 7 then.. Saturday..

You. 10:53 pm

Great! See you then handsome. 😉

Joel Miller 😉 10:58 pm

See you, beautiful. 😜😏😊

You can't help but laugh at the emojis Joel sent; he was such an old man that didn't understand a damn thing about technology, sure he was trying, but it seemed to get the better of him.

The week is slow and miserable, with your time off work and Sarah at school, you're not sure what to do with yourself for many hours of the days that slowly pass on by. You spend a lot of time reading your books that had sat and collected many layers of dust on the bookshelf in your living room, even taking your little kitten, angel, for walks on a small leash.

You find that as you become moderately okay with being alone, and in the company of naught but a small kitten, time seems to pass by much quicker than it did.

You'd been doting on what you'd wear all week–hell, you were still trying not to think too much about it. Choosing a simple lavender sundress, it was far too hot to wear anything that would stick to your skin. And whatever sin you’ve commited by wearing matching lavender lingerie is no one's business but your own.. Joel wouldn't know anyway.

It couldn't hurt to hope, right? It had been years since you been laid.

“God what the hell is wrong with me?” You murmur to yourself, one hand desperately clutching onto a bottle of red wine, as if you couldn't make it any more awkward. It's 6:50 pm. But you couldn't bare to sit across the damned street in your car a moment longer, your heart ager and anxiety running wild.

Knock, knock. Your hand raps on the hardwood door twice, hands shaking from being so anxious.

As the door opens, Joel grins. “Hey.. you're early.” Taking in his appearance, you can't help but swallow the saliva that had built up in the few seconds you’d spent greedily staring at him. Hell— it was only a brown cotton shirt and a pair of jeans, but he looked incredible.

“I know.. I hope that's okay.” His own eyes take a moment to appreciate your outfit, the perfectly fitting seam of lavender purple that fits snug around your breasts.

“Totally fine, I’m ready in here.. I made you something special.” The grin on his face is cheeky and he takes the bottle of wine from your trembling hands and opens the door wider for you to enter. “Come on in.”

He has absolutely outdone himself, it seemed Joel had managed to clean the entire house in the week coming up to this evening. The house is cleaner than it's ever been, his kitchen is full of colour of fruits and a wonderful aroma swirls around as you walk through the hallway. The counter is a little cluttered with spices and a half drunken can of beer.

“You've absolutely outdone yourself joel.” The compliment seemed to naturally expel from your lips, seeing how he had set the dining table up, in the middle was a simple summer salad and two wine glasses, as if he knew you'd be bringing the wine..

“I would be a terrible host if I didn't have something special in store for you..” As he trails off, the sound of a timer from the kitchen buzzes, and Joel rubs his hands together. “Here, why won't you take a seat?” He pulls the chair out, waiting for you to take the offer, of course you accept, taking a seat and he tucks your chair in.

“Be back in a moment with the food, make yourself comfortable.” The smell is absolutely incredible as Joel steps back out of the kitchen and sets a steaming pan of hot pasta right in front of you, sitting on the seat across from you.

“Jesus, how in the world? I remember all those years ago you couldn't even seem to grasp the concept of avocado toast.”

Joel laughs halfheartedly at your comment. “I wasn't much of a cook back then was I? Always relying on you to use your magic in the kitchen.” He grasps the wine and opens the bottle, pouring you a generous glass. “The fact that you remember that is pretty impressive though. That had to be what.. five or six years ago?”

You can't help but feel embarrassed to be caught out. “I guess I have a knack for remembering things, god.. Sarah would have been barely five back then..”

When you split..

Joel senses the tension in your voice, and serves himself some wine, taking a small sip. “Yeah, she was pretty young back then. It seems like only yesterday that she was a baby..” He takes a small pause as he reminisces. “I always liked when you carried her around in that sling you had for her. Never really understood why you didn't just use a pram..the sling seemed like much more work.”

You let out a small laugh. “I just liked having her close to me, and I hated those goddamn prams so much. I could never figure out how to use the stupid things.”

“Yeah, they were kinda bulky.. I never liked them much either, honestly. Still.. You'd spend like an hour just letting her nap on your chest, you would just carry her around the house.” He lifts the wine glass, his cheeks bare a resemblance to the dark red wine. “I always thought it was kinda adorable.”

The thought makes you stop and think, lifting the glass up to your lips to take a tentative sip. “Do you ever wish we could have a do over?”

He swallows the small amount of wine in his mouth, the smile that was on his face slowly fades. He never thought they would ever speak of this, of their past. He held a lot of guilt, that they fell apart because of him, he was the one who ruined a good thing. Now.. six years later, he had a chance to mend things, maybe even create something new between the two. “Every day.”

The silence hangs in the air between them for a few moments.. “Well.. either way. Sarah turned out wonderful, and that is something we both ought to be proud of.” Your hand meets his own for a brief moment.

Joel can't help but nod in agreement. Sarah was kind, intelligent, thoughtful and empathetic. He couldn't help but feel like Sarah was turning out more like you than him, and he was grateful for it. “But still, I can't help but want.. I don't want a do-over. What we had was good until I screwed it up, I just wish there was some way I could make up for that.”

“Hey—come on now.. You were working overtime back then..trying to keep our heads above water. I didn't.. I didn't understand the sacrifice you were making for our family back then.. You sacrificed a lot, joel..”

Joel looks up at you in surprise when you assure him of his goodwill. In a sense, he's grateful you're defending him, but you’ve always been too kind about the past, too forgiving, he doesn't know if he deserves it. “Yeah I was working a tonne of overtime.. I was trying to save up for a house, I wanted to take care of you both.. Guess it got out of hand.”

You can't help but feel a sense of nostalgia as you look around the house that you both raised Sarah in for the first five years of her life.. “You did it Joel, you got the house and.. Now you're starting up your own business. You've come a long way.”

“Sometimes I wonder if it was all worth it, I missed out on a lot of Sarah's younger years in the process… it's not time that I can get back.. and I know it was my own doing.”

“That was your sacrifice.. And it was so she could have a good childhood. That in itself makes you an incredible father. She knows what you did for us, for her, and she loves you.”

Joel knew that much was true, he concedes this as the truth. He couldn't deny that he had an incredible relationship with his daughter. There were many things joel regretted in his life and from the past, but he couldn't recall a single moment of regret when it came to how he chose to raise Sarah.

“I think we're well overdue for some more wine, wouldn't you say?” You grin, nodding toward the bottle, and with a small smirk, Joel complies, filling your glass half full and his own the same.

“That may be true,” he replies playfully. “But I'm still gonna need you to take it easy. I'm not prepared for what you'll be like once you're tipsy.”

“I'll be on my best behaviour.” You grin, almost too mischievously.

“I'm not believing that for a single second. I know you.. as soon as the wine hits, you’re gonna lose your inhibitions and start trying to charm me.”

Rolling your eyes is an appropriate response. “As if I need to try to charm you, Joel Miller.”

“See?” He chuckles, “even now, you're flirting with me.”

You are amused by his tone and can't help but be a smartass. “Hey—this is a date.. Isn't it?”

With genuine amusement in his tone, he laughs. “Well, I suppose it is. But you can't deny that if I keep pouring you this wine, you wont end up in my lap within the half hour?”

“Pour me another glass and find out.” You challenge, setting the now empty glass in front of him.

He raises an eyebrow, but pours you a third glass of wine, handing the glass back to you. “Here you go.” He wonders if he'll be right in his prediction.

You hold the glass up and take a sip, eyes closing momentarily as the warmth slides straight down to your stomach. Silently thanking him.

Joel leans back into his chair, after topping up his own glass that wasn't quite empty yet, watching you with a brightness in his eyes. “You know, even though we haven't been an actual couple in half a decade, it's still nice to be having one of these again.. as strange as that sounds.”

With a raised eyebrow and amusement in your tone. “I dont think its strange at all, I think it's wonderful.”

He hums in response, finally digging into the pasta that had been sitting there since he served it steaming hot off the stove, you follow in tow, deciding that your stomach has somehow made room for the deliciously smelling creamy pasta. You can't help but groan in delight as you chew the creamy pasta. “Fucking delicious.” You mutter.

As the two of you decide to eat, Joel notes that you’re out of wine… “I'll get another bottle.” You insist, seeing that he's digging into his dinner.

You know your way around the kitchen you'd spent years living in, reaching upward for the wine cupboard, it seems you can't quite reach, whispering to yourself.. “Goddamnit.” You don’t realise you’ve been staring at the cupboard for a few minutes until you hear him.

“Having some trouble?” You don't have the nerve to turn around at how husky his voice sounds. He decided to take advantage of the fact that he had disarmed you with his voice alone, and slips up behind you, his chest flush against your back. He doesn't bother to help you reach the wine, instead he wraps his arms around your waist.

You can't help but lean backwards into him, closing your eyes as you lean your head backward into his shoulder. Your heart skips at the sensation of him pulled taut against you, it had been too long since he held you like this.

His hand caresses the side of your neck, and he whispers softly into your ear. “How's the wine treating you baby? Seems like your skin is a little warm..” He teased boldly.

“Who said it's got anything to do with the wine? My handsome ex husband is holding me— I think that calls for some mandatory blushing, does it not?”

Joel chuckles and squeezes you tighter around your hips, his body pressing against yours firmly, your hips pressed against the bench. “Ex-husband… is that what I am to you now?” He asked, smirking.

You can't help but laugh breathlessly. “Legally, yes.”

“Legally, maybe,” he replies, his smirk broadening. “But in my eyes.. Who you truly belong to is not a matter of legality..” He leans in and whispers softly into your ear, his lips tickle the skin. “Just a matter of heart..”

You shudder as his warm breath warms your ears. “Joel Miller, the romantic.”

“What can I say, you bring out the best in me.” He replies softly, lips against your neck, his voice carries a seductive undertone. One hand slides up your arms and he grabs you to spin you around, his eyes boring into you as your back is pushed against the counter, you’re forced to meet his gaze as his hand grips the nape of your neck. “Do you want to know what I really think about you?”

His sudden manoeuvre has her shocked into near silence. “What do you think of me Joel?”

He hesitates, trying to find the right words. He can't mess this up, not with your large and vulnerable eyes watching him. “You're beautiful,” he praised softly. “You have the most kind-hearted soul I've ever known.. You're a wonderful mother… and you’ll be the only one I’ll ever truly want..”

Maybe the wine helped him be bold enough to be truthful in this moment, or oversharing. He felt like this might be the only chance he might have.

“Why did it take half a bottle of wine for you to tell me all this?” You mumble.

Joel goes quiet. He can't help but stare down at you, the smirk on his lips fades, you'd always been able to see through him. “I was scared,” a note of humility in his voice. “Scared that once you knew, you wouldn't want to look at me again. I always thought you were out of my league, ya know? I didn't deserve someone like you…still don't know if I do.”

His self depreciation was never something you would come to accept. “Don't talk like that, Jesus Joel. You really have no idea how much I love you, do you?”

“How can you still love me?” He asks, although he's almost afraid of the answer you'll give. “I hurt you, I let myself drift so far from what mattered..”

“Joel… you've done nothing that isn't worth forgiving,” you promise softly.

Joel can't help himself as he pulls you against him, chest to chest. He holds you tightly, as if it might be the last time…”But that's the problem,” he said softly. “Not that what I did isn’t forgivable…but that it didn't need to happen in the first place. It hurts me just thinking about how much I lost sight of things, but it can't have been worse than how much I must've hurt you…”

Your hands have a mind of their own as they cup his cheeks, making him look down at you. “Now you listen to me, okay? I love you. Things were not easy for us back then.. We were young parents and struggling to pay the bills, parenthood hit us fucking hard and we didnt make it..” You sigh, your eyes full of love and vulnerability. “Hell—I don't even remember half of it… but were here now, we have a chance to make things better than they were, we can start new.”

He nods as he rests his forehead against your own, a small smile on his lips. You easily wipe away any insecurity and self guilt he held for their split. You were right, of course. This wasn't the time to dwell on the past, on what could've been, not when the two of you were here… now, with a brand new start. “Let's try again, huh?” He asks in a low whisper.

Pulling your lip between your teeth, you nod against his own warm skin. “Let's try again…”

His hands are warm as they caress your cheeks, he pulls you into him for a kiss, lips meeting and you're flooded with emotion, all the doubt and uncertainty you both held washed away as soon as your lips connected. The bittersweet aftertaste of wine lingers on your warm lips. He struggled to pull away from you, but he looked down at your loved filled eyes, gazing softly up at him. “God, I've missed that.” He whispers softly.

He brushes a handful of strands of loose hair out of your face, looking down at you, you note his pupils are dilated. “You still take my breath away,” he laughs softly, caressing your cheek.

You flush at his praise. “Trying to get in my good books already?”

He was definitely trying. “You can't fault me for trying, I could really use some brownie points right now, ya know?”

Laughing at his sense of humour, you roll your eyes. “You're a crooked man Joel, and I love it.”

“Is that supposed to be an insult or a compliment?” An amused tone in his voice, his body pressing against your own. He leans down to kiss you again softly, his hands caressing your waist and letting his fingers trail up the side of your torso.

“Of course it's a compliment—other men have their heads on straight and they are just…weird. You're a little crooked, a little weird, and I like that..”

The way you accept his flaws leaves him more in awe of you, he can't complain at how endearing you find his oddities. “And so youre saying it's a good thing that I'm a little unhinged at times?” He chuckles, reaching up under your chin to trace small shapes on the soft skin.

You have a little mischief twinkling in your eyes.. “Oh you know—when you get all angry and protective. Definitely crooked, but so sexy.”

“You find it hot when I get territorial over you?” He couldn't help but laugh at her admission.

The wine flows through you, giving you a sense of boldness. You run a hand down his chest, manicured fingers tickling him through the brown cotton shirt. “Do you remember that time I was on a date with that jackass, I was drunk outta my mind—”

He scowls at the memory of that night, you, his ex-wife on a date with some chump named James. The man had tried to take you home, even though you were inebriated. “Yeah, I do,” he replied with a possessive tone to his voice. “You were wasted, couldn't even walk straight.. But I knew what that animal was thinking, I could see the way he looked at you.”

“All I could remember was how infuriated you were, the sexiest thing I'd ever seen..” Your eyes draw him in, batting your lashes at him.

Joel smirks, a light blush spreading from his neck up his cheeks, to his ears from your comment. “You thought it was sexy huh? I thought I'd lost my shit and went a little overboard..”

You can only shrug, unbothered by his reaction at that time. “Oh—maybe you did, I mean you did beat him to a pulp in that forsaken carpark, didn’t you baby? All for me.”

“That prick needed his ass kicked either way,” he growls. “There was no way I was letting him have you.. Drunk or not, that man crossed a line, and I’d do it all over again.”

Your heart doubles in size, and you can feel your knees weakening. “You'd do it all over again?”

He doesn't hesitate. “I'd do it a thousand times over.. At that moment.. in my mind, you were still my girl, being hit on by some creep. And I wasn't going to let him take you away from me.” He pauses, wondering if his explanation sounded too crazy. “You still meant alot to me.. Even after we split.. You always have.”

You run a finger down his cheek, the coarse hairs of his beard make a sound that sends a tingle down your spine. “What I wouldn't do to see that side of you again.”

Joel tilts his head slightly and takes a moment to ponder your comment. He was surprised to hear you admit how much you loved this dominant and possessive side of him. “That side of me.. You want to see it again, cause I can make it happen, baby girl. Just say the words.”

You couldn't help the way you trembled, sure that the only thing keeping you up right was Joel's hips pressing against your own, back digging into the bench. “Please,” you beg pathetically. His hand reaches up to your neck, holding you by the neck, forcing you to look up at him. He applies a small amount of pressure that has you whimpering.

The way you melt under his possessive gesture was enough for him to feel confident that this side of him was still within reach and you loved it. He leans closer to you and kisses you again, this time more forcefully. He lets his fingers dig into your soft flesh, squeezing firmly while knowing it's not causing you pain or discomfort.

Hearing your squeaking moans, and the way your body seems to relax into him as he takes control of you.. He takes this as motivation to move his lips against yours with a different kind of hunger. Feeding into the darker side of himself, trying to recapture that long-lost side of him that he's lost after letting you walk out of his life.

But he wouldn't let you go, no, not this time. He had his fingers digging into your flesh and his lips moving against yours with so much force, he shoves his tongue into your mouth..

His free hand wanders along your body, feeling the warmth of the wine and from the heat of his touch, your body reacting exactly how it used to, as if no time has passed at all. His hand gropes your breast roughly, squeezing and slipping past the two layers of fabric. He pulls away from your lips, eyes darkening. “Wearing a lace bra just for me, huh baby? Bet you've got a matching set on, don't you?” He growls.

“Y–Yes..” A feeble moan emits from your lips, smothered in his spit. The thought drives him wild, and slides down the straps to your dress and takes in the lavender lace bra you brought specially for tonight. “Fuck, you’re a naughty girl aren’t you?”

When you don't respond, he grabs at your breasts roughly, grasping the soft flesh between his calloused fingers, pinching your nipples harshly, making you cry out in pleasure, it was a sensitive spot for you, one that Joel remembered well.

He leans down, greedily sucking all the sweat off your warm skin, licking and nipping, his teeth biting down into the flesh of your neck, leaving an immediate mark, claiming his stake on you. You were his..

His lips messily kissed your breasts, tongue finally meeting the nipple where he suckled harshly, his teeth grazing the sensitive skin. “Do you remember when you were pregnant? Let me drink your milk straight from the source, didn’t you baby? Fuck.. what I wouldn’t give to do that again,” he whimpers against your skin.

Your heart races, running your fingers through his dark hair. He spends his time at your breasts, alternating pleasuring the two, making sure they’re both equally as tended to as the other. “Tits are so fucking perfect baby.” He praises.

His greedy hands trail down your body, the fabric of your dress bunching at his fingers, as he slides them down your legs, he’s on his knees.. face to face with the matching lavender lace panty that covers your pussy. An involuntary moan leaves his lips, he can’t tear his eyes away at the large sopping wet patch in the middle of your panties. “Fucking hell, I can smell your need, you know that?”

Your legs tremble at his sudden growl, he could smell her arousal? The thought embarrassed her. The thought didn’t stay long in her head, he presses his face into your cunt with the panties still on, moaning against you. His large nose bumping your swollen clit through the material, and you let out a whine and curl your fingers through his hair. “Please Joel.. I need more.”

He ignores your pleas for more, licking and sucking you through your panties, he can taste you through them, he’s like an animal being teased through a cage, and he’s painfully hard, teasing the both of you with his devilish antics.

“Fuck Joel! Please!” You beg a little louder, crying out as she tugs on his hair.

Without another moment passing, his thick fingers tear the lace in half, exposing your mound. You didn’t shave, your pubic hair was trimmed but still bush enough for Joel to dive into. His mouth watered, he had always had a preference for hair down there, he’d seen it in pornography magazines growing up, and he fucking desired it ever since.

Women these days are all about shaving, being bare and having brazilians.

Fuck that. This is what Joel needed.

“Fucking hell baby you’re gonna kill me.” He groaned into your cunt. Diving face first, his arms wrap around your ass and pull you tight, his face buried into your cunt as far as he could go.

You stumble and lift one leg over his shoulder, trying to support yourself a little more. It feels impossible though, the way Joel’s tongue dives into your cunt, lapping at the juices you’re giving him, pushing his tongue as far into your hole as he can reach. His hawkish nose presses into your clit and you feel your legs trembling, like you’re about to topple over.

“Joel..” you warn breathlessly. You’re close, so fucking close.

“Cum for me baby. Fuck.. please.” Suddenly he was the one begging, on his knees lapping at your cunt, whining against you. Feeling him beg against you was all it took for you to come undone.. your legs buckle and you tremble above him, clutching onto his shoulder, as you cry out, your clit tingles with pleasure as Joel slowly rolls his tongue against it, trying to string out your orgasm.

He laps you up, all of you, not letting a single drop go to waste, his eyes are black with desire and his face is glistening with you, smeared all over his face, finally, he rises to his feet. “Turn around baby girl.” He orders, his voice husky from your slick.

You can do nothing but comply, he shoves you against the counter, your hips against the cold wood. You can hear him, his breaths are quick, he’s frantically unbuckling his belt, tying the brown leather around your wrists..

You feel his hard cock against your ass, and your eyes widen, forgetting how big he was, did he get bigger?

With one hand he pushes you down onto the bench so you’re lying, face down. “That’s it angel. You’re so fucking sweet, aren’t you baby?” He praises senselessly, the swollen tip of his cock meets your hole and you squeak out, he stretches you, beyond what you ever remembered. “J-Joel.” You whine and inhale sharply, face still pressed against the cold countertop, arms bound behind your back and his throbbing thick cock pushing inside of you, you’re helpless, completely at his mercy and you fucking love it.

Your cunt can testify the fact, it’s dripping, all over Joel, he pushes himself into the hilt of you and groans loudly, a loud grunt leaving his lips. One hand holds you flat against the counter, the other holds your bound arms at his chest.

He slowly starts to thrust, legs quaking with desire, he knows he won’t last long, fuck, he’s never had a pussy so perfect, not after you, all he knows is the warmth of you, your perfectly tight hole, sucking him in deeper.

Your moans are loud, but muffled by your cheeks squished against the counter, you can almost feel him in your ribs, with every thrust it feels like you’re running out of oxygen. Strangled gasps leave your lips as your pussy clenches around him, threatening to spill over a second time..

Joel can feel it, the way you grip him, he knows he won’t last, he grunts as he presses himself flush against you, your arms behind your back hinder his need to be closer to you, but this way.. he wraps his hand around your neck, bringing you upright, flush to his chest.

“Fuck, that’s it baby.” He growls, his cock pummels into you mercilessly, and now you’re free to cry out as loud as you can.

“Joel.. Joel.. I’m.. I..” you stutter, in between moans, your cunt clenching around him. You tense up as you orgasm a second time, creaming all over his throbbing cock.

He brings you totally upright, his hand tightening around your throat. “Fuck baby.. I’m gonna cum.. fill this perfect pussy up.” He whimpered into your ear, biting down on your neck.

You can feel him tensing, seconds later.. heavy and warm ropes of his cum spurt so far into your womb you whimper, knowing that he’s sure to get you knocked up.. again. He lets out the most obnoxious grunting as he pants heavily into your ears.

“Joel.. fuck I’m.. not on birth control.” You whimper. He keeps his cock inside of you, until he softens and pulls out of you, untying the belt that restrained your hands, as your hands fall limply by your sides, he kisses your shoulders, knowing there’s ought to be an ache.

“Good. Maybe we can have a do over after all, hm?” He murmurs softly, kissing the back of your neck. His hands find their way down to your stomach, caressing it softly. “Wouldn’t hurt to have just one more.. would it?”

After all, Joel Miller was a possessive man, a greedy man. You would bare as many children as he wished, because you weren’t ever going anywhere again. You were his.

“Might as well marry me again while you’re at it.” You tease breathlessly.

He hums against your skin, his forehead resting on the back of your shoulder. “Already thinkin’ bout it baby.”

Because Joel Miller wouldn’t let you get away, not this time.

[casuallyanidiot]

Omg your yandere coworker *chef's kiss*

I imagine he's just frustrated and angry because he can't believe he's fallen for a loser like reader. Like they are such a mess all the time. So soft and easy to tire. They look so out of place in this workplace environment.

But over time it starts to click that all he was to do is take them away and keep them at home. Reader shouldn't even be at work! Reader should be sitting pretty at home like the good little spouse he knows they are all that they are good for!

Man he'll have to come up with a plan to make that happen wouldn't he?

Thanks! He's awful! :)

I think the worst part about Yan coworker is that he believes he's actually a good person. Maybe if he just acknowledged how scummy he was, he wouldn't be half as bad.

He he's had enough of you stumbling all over yourself like an idiot. Yandere Coworker pulls you aside one day into a storage closet. He's trying so hard not to snap and fuck you stupid against some half empty shelves, so instead he settles for gripping your arms. Isn't he a gentleman? Anyways, he lays it out for you.

"You need to quit," He says simply. His voice is gruff and firm, and you blink in surprise. "What?" You stammer out. He's tall, intimidatingly so, and you tremble as he holds you. "No, no I'm not- I can't quit! This is my job! I know you don't really like me, but that's out of line," You hiss out and squirm away from him.

Yandere coworker realizes you really are very, very dumb. There's nothing in that stupid little head of yours, is there? You can't even tell how much he's looking out for you. You're crumbling under the weight of this job, and he can't stand seeing you so unhappy.

But he makes enough money for the two of you. He can handle this while you can't. In fact, the more he thinks about it, he can't figure out just what in the world you would be good at. He tries to picture you as successful at anything and comes up blank. Huh... You really are good for nothing. Except,,, you would probably do well if you didn't have to do anything at all.

Yandere coworker starts to think about how much prettier you would be if you got proper sleep. He likes the way you look in corporate attire (That is on the rare occasions where you don't look like a hot mess), but he bets you'd like to be in expensive and revealing loungewear even more. The only thing you would have to do is keep your house tidy, and keep yourself nice and presentable for whoever provided for you. Yeah, you'd be perfect for that. And guess what? He could give you that.

Yandere coworker knows that you're far too stubborn for your own good. He begins to actively sabotage your work. He inserts spelling errors into your reports, changes the numbers of any potential client before you have the chance to make a sale. He allows himself to be more officially promoted, and with the new power he has, he assigns you increasingly difficult tasks.

You try and report him for essentially bullying you, but the complaint is thrown out with little care. He's one of the best employees the company had ever seen, and you were just some bumbling broad who couldn't even spell their own name right on official documents.

Before long, you're fired. Yandere Coworker uses his position in the company and many connections he has to essentially black list you.

You can't get a decent job in your field anymore. Plus you begin to get behind on rent and bills. Your life is going to shit, yet you still refuse to take him up on his many offers. It's infuriating, and he just wants to put you in a place that he knows you'll be safe and happy in.

Yandere Coworker just thinks your too dumb to realize how kind he's being. He hopes that you're smart enough to recognize how nice the trunk of a luxury car is. After all, you're going to be there for a while until he can get you to his home where you'll never have to use that useless brain of yours again.

[xxkissesforchanniexx]

𝐅𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐧 𝐕𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐮𝐞 𝐀𝐜𝐭 𝐈𝐈𝐈

𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐖𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐡: 𝐏𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐁𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠

𝐀𝐜𝐭 𝐈𝐈 | 𝐀𝐜𝐭 𝐈𝐕

Pairing: demon!chan x reader x demon!minho Genre: Smut (and a ton of plot for once) Word count: 8.5k Warnings: almost dying, manipulative felix, whole ton of plot, p in v sex, unprotected sex, harassment (not by the boys), minor character death, suicide, very brief dry humping, degrading, fingering, lazy depictions of blood, marking again >.>, etc... (i think i got them all sorry if i missed something. not proofread... i got lazy im sorry

A/N: I'm really trying to work on how i write scary things and describe situations sooo bear with me if the parts that would be "scary" are varying in intensity. i'm gonna cry cus my power went out and the desktop shut off so i lost my SMAU.... i'll post it tomorrow i guess.

Shadows of forgotten reap. They hound and haunt the weak. Those who wish to wield the devil's wrath forget not all the patient are safe from the aftermath...

You woke up late. Again. Walking into the office you saw your coworkers giving you sideways looks. Yeah, you were screwed. You sat at your desk and were about to start working when your boss, Mr. Cho, walked past your desk.

Everyone greeted him but as he passed he tapped your desk and motioned for you to follow him.

Jaehwa gave you a wide eyed look. Soojin crossed her fingers. As you trailed behind the man to his office your shoulder brushed Juwon's. He looked at you for. a moment before he kept walking.

Mr. Cho opened the door and motioned for you to enter, you took a deep breath and walked in. He closed the door and motioned for you to sit in the chair across from his desk before he finally... FINALLY spoke.

"Ms. L/n..." he hummed softly, looking at some papers on his desk as he sat down. "You're very good at what you do."

"Thank you sir." You nodded slightly.

"Being good at something doesn't warrant your recent performance though..."

"Oh-"

"I'm not done." He looked at you with a very irritated expression. "The rumors going around are also a major workplace disturbance, I will be having a similar conversation with Mr. Yu."

You bristled Juwon had taken the rejection and gone what rumors could there possibly be, "Mr. Yu has nothing to-" You started.

He raised a brow at you.

You went quiet.

"I don't think you understand what I'm trying to convey." Mr. Cho, leaned forward, clasping his hands on the desk. "I'm going to fire you."

Your eyes went wide. "Mr. Cho I-"

"You've done a great deal for our company and our news but your terrible performance now far outweighs what you've done here n the past." He shrugged. "There's nothing I can do."

"Mr. Cho, I- You don't understand how badly I need this job! I can take more hou-"

"Ms. L/n." He smiled slightly. It was an unsettling smile that made you feel icky. "You're a beautiful young woman. You don't really need this job based on the rumors your boyfriend is incredibly well off."

"Mr. Cho I'm not going to rely on a man to take care of me." You clenched your fists under the desk.

"Then I can't help you."

You bit your lip and sucked in a frustrated breath.

"Unless.."

You looked up.

"As I said before Ms. L/n you're a very beautiful young woman with such... potential." He stood and walked around the desk, resting his hands on your shoulders. "I can help you keep this job.. at a cost."

You stiffened. "Excuse me?" You stood, turning to face the man.

"I know you're not stupid, Y/n." He leaned in close, " You know exactly what I'm talking about."

You stared at him. This man...

"Choice is yours." He breathed, hot breath against your face.

This man was a depraved fuck. You moved from between him and the desk, trying to go to the door.

He grabbed your forearm. "Y/n I'm offering you the bet thing I can at the moment."

You let out a dry laugh. "If you think I'm doing that you're crazy."

"How bad would it look if the board knew you jumped into Juwon's bed after one drink?" He pulled you back to him. "You need this job Y/n. How long do you think that boyfriend of yours is going to be there?"

You wrenched your hand away. "You can't say a thing about-"

"This is your only chance at having a job." He grabbed at your waist.

You shoved him. "Mr. Cho. Don't hurry in firing me. I'll submit my resignation." You turned and walked out of the office.

Soojin was waiting for you outside. "What happened?"

You didn't say a word as you grabbed your things and went to the elevator.

"Y/n!" Jaehwa ran to you from his desk.

"Girl-" Soojin started.

"I'll see you guys around okay?" You snapped as you slammed the button on the elevator to go down.

"What happened in there?" Jaehwa pressed gently.

"It doesn't matter." You felt the tears welling in your eyes.

"Y/n."

You looked up at the sound of Juwon's voice. He looked guilty..

"I'm sorry- why are you cryi-" He started.

"Leave me alone damn it!" You shouted. "Are you happy?!"

"Come on I didn't want this to happen!" He reached for you.

You pulled back. "Stay the fuck away from me Juwon!"

The elevator doors finally opened and as you were about to storm in and close them you were staring right at a dark suit, straining against hard muscle. You looked up at Chan.

He looked right past you at Juwon.

Jaehwa's mouth fell open as did many passersby as they saw Chan.

"Chan-" You started but he grabbed your hand and pushed past Juwon, walking straight through the cubicles and to your boss's office.

Your boss looked up from his work as Chan threw the door open. The man's eyes widened for a brief moment as he saw you being dragged by Chan. "Can I help you?" He asked.

Chan stared at Mr. Cho before closing the door.

You tensed, "Cha-" You tried to grab the enraged demon but before you could he was looming over your boss.

He muttered something in the man's ear and you watched as Mr. Cho froze in fear. Chan turned around and grabbed your hand again, dragging you out of the office and to the elevator. "You don't need this." He grabbed your work ID card and tossed it on the floor.

He jammed the button for the elevator to go down and pulled you in.

Juwon sprinted to the elevator and Chan smiled as the doors closed. He looked at you. "You don't ned this job. You'll live with me."

"With you?" You looked up at him. "In that hell house??!"

"Hey!" Chan huffed. "I built that house with my own mind."

"You're a psycho." You muttered, hugging yourself.

Chan frowned at you. "I'm a maniac, there's a difference."

You laughed slightly and Chan smiled at you.

You were sitting in your apartment, staring into space the next day when the bell rang. You stood expecting it to be Chan telling you start packing but as you approached the door, hand outstretched to the doorknob, your tattoo burned.

Don't open it...

You bit your lip and stared at the door, you relaxed after a moment and turned to go sit back down. But the bell rang again.

You didn't move and held your breath for a moment. Then you heard the banging on the door.

"Police. Open up."

You froze. Why? You were about to open the door when the tattoo sent a burning pain up your neck and down your arm and back. You couldn't make a sound and held onto the wall.

Do NOT open that door.

You slid to the floor in pain, trying to stop the pain. It was excruciating, like your skin was being burned off. You half walked, half dragged yourself to the bathroom and tried to reach the sink.

You crumbled at the bathroom door and almost, almost screamed, you felt like you were on fire. Your vision darkened and when you opened your eyes again you saw a room you hadn't before.

A hallway on fire. At the end of the hallway stood an angel, wings spread wide, his back was to you, all you could see was his blonde hair.

You walked towards him, the walls were going up in flames but there he stood. As the flames began to lick at the beautiful feathers of his right wing. You shouted at him, urging him to run, flee the flames of hell fire, but no sound out.

The flames completely enveloped his right wing, devouring the soft feathers and scorching the limb to the bone.

He crumbled clutching his right shoulder as the skin singed. And the wing.. fell to ashes..

He squeezed his shoulder, the burnt skin raw jagged bone where his wing once was remaining, jutting out of the burned flesh. And then he whipped his head around to face you.

The angel was him. The man in the flower field, freckled face, blonde hair and all.. but his eyes. One beautiful, vibrant blue eye and one black as the void between your world and that of Chan.

You reached for the angel, but arms wrapped around you followed by four big black feathered wings and you were drawn back.

Your head was pounding. And someone was screaming crying.

"Y/N!" a woman's voice, you knew this voice all too well.

"Y/N! WAKE UP!" A man.

"WHAT'S WRONG WITH HER?!" And the deepest voice you'd ever heard.

Your eyes flew open and you sat up.

Soojin grabbed your hands. "Y/N! Calm down!"

You stared around frantically. Soojin, Jaehwa, that freckled face...

The doctor came up to you and started looking you over.

"Y/n." He kneeled beside your hospital bed. "Are you okay? What happened?" he reached for your hand.

The door to your room opened. Chan stood there, eyes wide, he looked scared. But his expression went from panic to anger. His eyes drifting from you to the freckled man.

He stood and looked at Chan. Soojin looked between the two men.

Jaehwa cleared his throat. "How is she doc?"

"She's fine." The doctor put her stethoscope away. "Who's in charge of her?"

The freckled man opened his mouth but Chan quickly interjected. "Me. I'm her boyfriend." He moved past the freckled man to your side and took your hand.

"I see, I can't identify exactly why she passed out but just make sure she's taking enough fluids and isn't overworking herself. If she feels dizzy, bring her back in, alright?"

Chan nodded. "Thank you doctor."

"My pleasure." The doctor nodded and left the room.

Chan looked at the freckled man.

The freckled man looked from Chan to you and back at Chan.

Chan's eyes narrowed.

"I'll take my leave." the freckled man looked at you.

"Soojin. Jaehwa." You smiled at your friends. "I'm fine. You guys can go."

Soojin walked to the other side of your bed and hugged you. "If you say so.."

Jaehwa smiled. "Take care of yourself."

You nodded and smiled.

Chan looked at you as Jaehwa closed the door behind him. "You've seen him."

You looked into Chan's eyes. "What is he?"

Chan bit his lip. "The only one of us who didn't fall all the way. Stay away from him."

You were in your apartment packing a week later, when Soojin came knocking on your door. She took you back to your old office to collect your things. You were siting through what was important to you and what wasn't when Soojin sighed.

"What is it?" You looked at her.

"You didn't hear the news?" She raised a brow before shrugging. "Then again you were fired-"

"Quit. I quit." You corrected her.

"Yeah sorry." She laughed. "But... Mr. Cho killed himself..."

Your eyes widened. "What...?"

"He hung himself in his house apparently, his mistress found him dead and called his wife." Soojin shook her head. "It's sad though, he wasn't a good guy but he was good at managing this place."

"He..." You sat on the floor, staring at the box of your things. You remembered how Chan whispered in Mr. Cho's ear, how Chan scared the man who was harassing you with one stare, how Chan made the freckled man leave.. He didn't... right? He wouldn't....

"Look... whatever made him do that... it must have been a lot.." Soojin closed a box and slid it to you. "We can't be happy he's dead, you can't wish that on anyone..."

You stared at the box of your things and sighed before putting on the lid. "He should rest in peace."

Soojin helped you carry a box down while you carried the other, putting them in her car before driving you back home. You smiled at your fried as you got out of the car and walked back to your apartment. You got in the elevator to go up to your floor ad as you got in a man with baseball cap pulled lower over his face entered.

You didn't think much of it, staring at the number going up on the little screen above the elevator door instead. 2... 3... 4... 5... 6....

The bell dinged at floor 14 and you got off, walking to your door and entering your apartment before locking the door behind you.

You looked at a package on the floor and picked it up, the address read, Lee Sungjin, Staaa St, Apt 153, Seoul, Korea.

You sighed, they always sent the neighbors packages to your apartment, what would Ms Lee downstairs do without you. You set the package on your counter and decided to give it to her the following day. You took a shower to relax before going to wipe the steam from the mirror.

As your palm pressed to the damp glass and you swept it across your eyes widened. The man with the baseball cap was in your mirror behind you. You whipped around only to be greeted by the wall.

"I'm paranoid." You muttered, deciding to brush your teeth and get some sleep. As you got into bed you heard a tapping on your window and glanced at it.

Probably a bird. You shrugged and got into bed.

Another tapping, louder now, and faster, as if whatever was tapping was trying to get your attention. You were about to get up when the tattoo burned. You grabbed it.

Don't go to that window.

The freckled man flashed through your mind for a minute. No... it's something else...

For a brief moment you debated forcing yourself to sleep and running until you found Chan, but then you immediately decided against it. You tilted your head slightly to see what was behind the glass, what could possibly be on the fourteenth floor tapping on your window if not a bird.

You stayed back from the window, easing your body to the end of your bed to see out of the window to your right.

As the full view of the window came into view you relaxed, there was nothing there.

BANG!

You jumped and shrieked, at the mutilated face in your window, skin charred and body shriveled. It slammed its hand on your window, no longer interested in luring you with its tapping.

You fell back off the bed and scrambled into the corner as it banged on the window desperately trying to get in.

You covered your ears and closed your eyes before arms wrapped around you.

"Sssshhhhh..." That lazy, tired voice said softly. Your eyes grew heavy and before you fell asleep you looked up at the man, he had a pretty face, chubby cheeks and eyes like a starry night.

You glanced at the window as you heard it shatter.

"Sleep... I can only help if you sleep.." he breathed.

And you buried your face into his chest and shut the world out before your mind gave into sleep.

You blinked the sleep from your eyes as you heard piano music. You sat up straight, looking around, you saw Chan at the piano, his hair dark unlike all the other times you'd seen him in your dreams.

"Can you play?" He asked, back turned to you.

"No.." You said softly.

"Come." he motioned for you to sit with him.

You walked to him and sat, he took your right hand in his left and set it on the keys. You turned to him. "I can't play.."

"Doesn't matter. Hit the keys like a mad woman if you want.." He smiled gently.

You blinked several times before pressing a random key. You moved your hands along the keys tapping black and white keys just smiling at how the notes melded together in a chaotic sound.

Chan watched you for a moment before finally saying, "You know I want to protect you right..."

Your hands froze.

"There's so many things I want to show you.."

There was a pause, in which you wanted to ask him. But he couldn't have. Not aft-

"I know what you're thinking and what you want to ask." He whispered.

You looked at him. "Did you?"

"No." He sighed. "I don't kill people pointlessly. Even if I wanted to.."

"I knew you couldn't have..." You relaxed.

He tilted his head. "Then why were you wondering?"

"You and your brothers are unpredictable is all." You laughed at the look on his face.

"Maybe I should be more predictable so you aren't always on your toes." He smiled, not a prideful smirk or a small shy smile but a real teasing smile and your heart fluttered. He took your hand in his and whispered, "I know it seems like we don't care but trust that we do.." He brought your hand to his lips and kissed it gently before muttering. "And I will protect you myself. No matter what.."

You stared at demon in front of you. He looked so human to you, so natural and real as you reached your hand out and caressed his cheek.

He leaned into your touch and opened his mouth to speak but you kissed him before he could get a word out. He relaxed and kissed you back, pulling you against him.

You gasped softly as he fell against your bed, you straddling him, he looked up at you, his pretty dark eyes locked on yours. He laid there beneath you only in a pair of sweatpants, his hands were set on your thighs, thumbs gently tracing circles. You touched his chest hand moving lower to his chiseled abdomen.

"Are you just going to admire me?" He laughed slightly.

You rolled your eyes and leaned down, your lips meeting in a tender kiss that he quickly turned hot and passionate, tongue forcing it's way into your mouth. You moaned softly and felt the smirk growing on his lips before he flipped you over, smiling down at you. He pulled your shirt off your body, lips going to assault your neck. For a moment you stared at the window but Chan grabbed you face and made you look at him.

"it's gone." He muttered, "It's just us." He looked into your eyes. "They know not to touch what's mine when I'm here." He moved lower kissing your abdomen and down to your thighs nipping at the skin.

You let out a soft sigh grabbing his hair. Chan pulled off your pajama pants and kissed your clothed heat before dragging the panties off your legs. His lips wrapped around your clit, as he eased two of his fingers into you. You let out a soft cry squirmed, his free hand came up to hold your hip.

You whined and bucked but he held you firmly, the hand moving to press down on your center. "No.." He said lowly.

The vibrations drew a moan from you and Chan hummed, fingers moving slowly, aggravatingly so. You whined and bucked slightly.

He looked up at you, "Say please."

"Your ego is so huge." You muttered.

"I'll take that as a compliment." He smiled.

You rolled your eyes. "Please.."

"Good girl." He pulled out his fingers and kissed your stomach, climbing on top of you.

You tugged at his sweats and he smiled removing them with your assistance before kicking them off his legs and to the floor. He kissed you gently as he sank into you.

You whimpered at the stretch and he smirked slightly. "Too big?"

You bucked your hips up to his. The demon gasped and glared at you.

You smiled innocently. Chan smirked and muttered. "I'll take that as a no.." He gripped your hips and pulled out before slamming into you again, your body jerked up the mattress as he set a brutal rhythm, fucking into you hard. You moaned and gripped the sheets.

Chan's hand found yours and pressed it into the mattress, the sound of skin smacking skin filling the room as his cock bullied into you. "Look at me when I'm making you cum." He muttered, leaning down, his lips hovering over yours.

You looked up into his eyes and your pussy clenched. He groaned and let go of your hand in favor of holding your face gently. "So tight.. so perfect..." He grunted against your lips before kissing you hard. His tongue clashing with yours, swallowing your cries as he moved faster, spiking your g-spot again and again.

His hand moved to grip your throat gently. "So pretty.." he pulled back, "Are you going to cum for me? Show me how much you love taking my dick?"

You nodded, mewling as his grip tightened slightly on your throat, not to hurt you just to keep you in place, yet your hands still flew up to grip his wrist and forearm, for something to ground you as he plowed into you.

"Cum for me." He moaned o low it came out in almost a growl.

Another buck of his hips sent you toppling over the edge and he let himself fall over you, grinding into you as he reached his peak with you. Groaning and muttering, "You did so good for me..." he kissed your cheek gently and pulled himself off you, rolling onto his side and hugging you to his chest.

"Thank you.." You muttered softly.

He looked down at you, "What for?"

"For always saving me." You kissed his pec and watched in the moonlight pouring in from your window as his ears turned red.

You giggled.

"There's really so much I want to tell you." he said quietly.

"Why not tell me now?" You poked him.

"Because I don't think you're ready yet." He said simply.

"Oh but fuck me why don't you." You rolled your eyes slightly.

"Should I?" He smirked at you.

"Not literally-" You started but he kissed you, effectively shutting you up.

You woke up the next morning and found Chan next to you, hair a mess, peacefully sleeping. You took him in, you caressed his face gently, and took a moment to just admire him.

His eyes opened slightly and he said softly, "I can feel you staring, y'know."

Your face got hot. "That's not fair! You can't jus-"

Chan kissed you gently and smacked you with a pillow before sprinting to your bathroom. He poked his head out and stuck his tongue out at you before closing the door.

You stared in shock for a moment, pulling the blanket over your chest. When did he become so playful...

You crumbled to your knees outside the apartment. You saw the blood plastered on the wall, in an ugly horrendous smelling, splat. Your hands immediately flew to your face and you dropped the package, one of the police walked out and grabbed you. "You shouldn't be here ma'am-" He started.

Your eyes widened, silencing the man as one of his fellow officers said "We found her.."

You felt sick to your stomach at the sight of her, eyes gone, the jaw slack open like the bones connecting her jaw were broken, you were about to pass out at the sight of her body from the breasts down burned.. shriveled like- a memory of the thing at your window a few days before flashed in your mind as you fell and Chan caught you.

"Y/n..." He shook you slightly.

You remembered the man in the elevator, how he hid his face. The thing in the window, the way you felt the hands round your throat. You trembled. And whoever killed Mr. Cho..

Chan shook you again and you looked at him. He took in your face for a moment before he looked up, eyes widening, he held you a little tighter, his eyes emitting a violet glow. You heard his voice in your head before you reached for him.

Something was here.

You didn't move a muscle. You had never seen Chan like this. Even with the whole Juwon situation. He looked genuinely concerned and the aura of possessiveness you felt radiating from him was almost overbearing.

It's not safe here...

You looked up at him as he lifted you in his arms. Why wasn't it safe? What happened to Ms. Lee? Why was Chan acting like this?

We'll come back for your stuff another day.

Soemthing told you to pick up the package and as you moved to do so Chan swept it up and moved to carry you away when a police officer stopped him.

"May I ask you two a few questions?"

Chan looked at him for a moment. "She's in shock. Try again later." He tried to move past the policeman.

"Sir, this woman came here as if knowing something happened."

You stiffened and Chan lowered you to your feet, stepping between you and the officer.

"Chan-" You started but you felt it again, the overbearing possessive aura radiating off him.

"She doesn't know anything." Chan said lowly.

The policeman's eyes widened slightly before he relaxed. "Whatever you say.." He moved aside.

Chan pulled you behind him briskly. You looked back at the policeman but he was gone. You blinked in confusion for a moment and turned to look at the demon dragging you. "Wha-"

"There's no time." Chan said before pressing the down button on the elevator. "It's not safe here anymore."

You were about to ask why but he pushed you into the elevator and pushed the button to your floor. As the elevator when down one floor Chan ushered you into the hall and you grabbed your keys about to start looking but then you saw him. The man with the baseball cap, only now you could see his eyes from under the hat, completely black with thin red slits. He turned to you completely but Chan put you behind him and stared daggers at the man in front of your door.

Chan backed up to the elevator and pushed the button to go down.

You looked at him as the elevator descended to the ground floor. "What-"

Chan looked at you. "You... are a very valuable human."

You leaned against the railing of the balcony of your hotel room. Chan had left you here while he got everything else ready for your move to his house. You stared at the city lights below, it was a very expensive hotel, and despite your protests that a less lavish place would be better Chan refused stating the security knew you and would defend you very well.

You hugged yourself for a moment, thinking about everything. Mr. Cho's suicide, how brutally Ms. Lee was murdered, the thing you saw outside your window that night, the man with the baseball hat standing outside your apartment. You looked at the package in your hands.

"I've been looking for a minute to catch you alone." a deep voice said behind you. That deep voice.

You turned to look at the freckled man, the angel. He took a step towards you and you took a step back, holding the package tightly

"Are you afraid of me?" He reached for you but hesitated, eyes flicking to the mark on your neck.

You didn't answer, debating if you could sprint past him back into your hotel room.

"I wouldn't do that." He smiled sweetly. "Let's just talk okay?"

You dodged as he reached to touch you again. "I'll scream..."

"What has Chan told you..." He walked towards you.

You took a step back and then you were pressed against the railing. "What's important."

"Has he?" The man took another step and you tensed. "You have no where left to go but down. So, let's talk. So neither of us fall."

"What do you want?"

"Don't you want to know why those things are looking for you?" He lifted his hand and a leather book appeared in a cloud of black. He held it out to you. "Don't you want to know what Chan did to you?"

The mark on your neck burned. You looked at the book and then back at the... what was he? He wasn't an angel, you didn't think anymore...

"Well?" He shook it in front of you temptingly.

You bit your lip. "What's in it?"

"What you're looking for."

The mark on your neck throbbed but you almost couldn't feel the pain as you reached for the book.

Someone's here...

A smile spread across his face as your finger tips met the aged leather of the book.

You moved to the railing and started to open the book's first page.

"Go ahead." He pushed the book fully into your hand.

You flipped it back at his face. He stumbled catching the book before you threw yourself back off the side of the balcony.

"What are you-" he bellowed, running to the edge as you fell back. His face hardened as you landed securely in Changbin's arms.

The demon spread huge bat wings, bracing his impact against the side of the hotel. "Chan sent me." He pulled his wings in close before pushing away from the building.

You looked at the... angel? still on your balcony. He watched you go for a moment.

"Why isn't he following..." You asked quietly.

Changbin pulled up and slowed down, stopping the air whooshing past your ears. "Even if he could throw himself with enough momentum, he can't fly. Not anymore."

You remembered how one of his wings fell from his back in ash. "Oh.."

You stayed quiet most of the way to Chan's home, you blinked a few times, trying not to fall asleep.

Changbin smiled. "You can sleep, I won't drop you. But what's that package..?"

You looked at Ms. Lee's parcel for a moment. "Something for a friend." You said softly.

He kept flying without pushing anymore. You yawned after a while and did fall asleep. It was the first time you'd slept well in so long, even though it was a short nap (Changbin's landing wasn't the best).

You jolted awake as he stumbled wings flailing backwards to halt his stumbling. He smiled sheepishly, apologizing for waking you as he set you down, motioning to the large house behind you. "Tada!" He smiled. "Awesome right?"

You nodded, looking at the white bmw outside the house. You had never seen that car before.

"Oh," Changbin motioned to it. "Minho's."

You nodded.

He led you into the house and Chan was waiting with Hyunjin in the foyer. The latter ran to you the moment his rose colored eyes set on you. He grabbed your shoulders, inspecting you from head to toe for a moment before Chan pulled him back. He searched your face for a moment and turned to Changbin, "He followed?"

Changbin shook his head and sighed. "I flew pretty fast."

Chan nodded and smiled at you, looking at Hyunjin, "Take her, I have to deal with something."

Hyunjin smiled and motioned for you to follow. As you were going to follow him, he put his arm in front of you, you looked towards the spiral stairs where Hyunjin's gaze was locked.

Minho came down the steps and he stared at you before looking at Chan. "Really?"

"Listen-" Chan started.

"Nope." Minho turned on his heel and went back up the stairs.

"Don't mind him." Hyunjin took your hand and led you up the stairs and around the corner motioning to a door. "Changbin is there. He pointed to the room across the hall from it, "Jisung," He motioned to the door next to it and stopped. He sucked in a breath and motioned to the last five, "Jeongin, mine, Seungmin, Minho, and all the way at the end of the hall is Chan."

"Where am I-" you started.

"In Chan's room."

You turned to look at him. "Huh-"

Hyunjin blinked. "Or would you prefer mine...? Jeongin and Changbin sleep pretty uncomfortably, and I think Minho might actually feed you to his pets. Seungmin would do something stupid. and.. Jisung doesn't exactly have a bed."

You pursed your lips. "It's fine.."

"Chan barely sleeps anyway, that's why he wanted you to take his bed." Hyunjin smiled and motioned to his bedroom door. "I'm right there if you need anything."

"Thanks..." You blinked.

"Of course." He kissed your cheek gently and smiled. "Sleep well."

You opened the door to Chan's room and entered slowly, looking around, it was different from the room you'd see in your dreams, there was still a desk in the corner, his big bed, with soft dark sheets but there was a TV, a door to his bathroom and another to his closet.

You opened it and looked at his clothes, most of the things were dark, dark blues and greys and so much black. You stared at the few white shirts he had and huffed softly. "No pjs."

You looked at the other side at his more casual wear and smiled slightly as you were greeted by a dark hoodie. You changed out of your clothes from that day into the hoodie and your underwear and tossed around the pillows a bit on the bed before deeming it comfortable enough and getting under the covers. You looked around for the remote a bit before you found it on the nightstand on the other side of the bed. You reached and turned on the TV, flipping aimlessly through the channels.

You found some random horror movie to watch and stared at it for a moment. After a few seconds the killer came around and stabbed one of the characters multiple times before stomping on them. You cringed, the camera panned down to the person laying lifeless, jaw slack as if broken. Your stomach flipped and your turned off the TV.

You kept replaying it in your head. We found her.

The sight of Ms. Lee's mutilated corpse.

"You seem upset..."

You jumped as Chan slid into the bed next to you.

"It's just me." he laughed and looked at you, eyes locked on yours before he whispered. "Don't watch movies like that."

"Sorry." You muttered, leaning against him.

"Don't apologize." he hugged you to him.

You didn't say anything to that as his hand rubbed your shoulder gently.

"What did he tell you?" he finally said, you wouldn;t have heard if the room wasn't so quiet.

"He had a book.." You replied.

Chan didn't respond but he tensed and you looked up at him.

"He said he could tell me what you couldn't."

"Do you believe him?" Chan asked, gaze on the blank TV screen.

"No..."

"Good." He whispered, kissing your head gently. "Go to sleep, 'kay?"

You nodded and tried to relax.

You honestly didn't know when you fell asleep, but you woke up in the field of flowers and stood.

You turned a couple of times, confused.

The man stood there, his eyes a vibrant blue. His lips started moving but you couldn't hear him. Why couldn't you hear him...

He noticed your confused expression and his face fell, he bent over, grabbing a bunch of flowers and grass, using them to write out, "You can't hear me?"

You nodded.

He kicked the flowers and looked very angry for a moment before he grabbed them and started spelling something out but he stopped, standing to his full height he looked at you.

You blinked and took a step back. He shook his head frantically before tapping his wrist.

"We don't have time...?"

He nodded, pointing to his neck then at you, then his ears before crossing his arms.

"I can't hear you because of my neck... oh? the tattoo?"

He nodded fervently and bit his lip, brows furrowing, he pointed to his neck again.

"The tattoo?"

He raked his thumb across his throat in a slit motion.

"The tattoo is going to kill me?"

He smiled and nodded.

You looked down for a moment. "How? Why? Chan wouldn't- he-"

He held his hand out and the leather bound book flew past the flowers and into his grasp.

He used his free hand to make a drinking motion.

"Drink?"

He shook his head, you noticed the sun was darkening, the man's movements becoming more desperate. His eyes widened and he mimicked rubbing them before yawning and doing the drinking motion.

"Coffee?" You guessed.

He nodded and tapped his wrist before lifting both hands into the air, straight up in a point.

"At noon..." You tilted your head, "Where-"

He shrugged and pointed to you.

You were about to guess again but the ground shook and split open beneath you. You grabbed around in the dark before closing your eyes tightly. And you fell back into your body, you opened your eyes slowly and looked around the room.. You were alone.

The next morning you saw someone in the kitcen, recognizing Minho you turned on your heel and tried to run somewhere else but you were stopped by a "You're not that sneaky."

"Oh come o-" You started.

Minho stabbed the knife he was using to cut the fruit into the cutting board and looked over his shoulder at you. "Are you so scared of me?"

"You came at me with a power drill-"

"You're human."

"Wow thanks for noticing." You rolled your eyes and walked into the kitchen, muttering to yourself as you fiddled with the coffee maker.

Once you got the coffee going, it was quiet all except for the soft trickle of the coffee into the pot.

Minho went to the stove and started making eggs. "Hand me that." he motioned to the pepper.

You handed it to him and he kept shook a little onto the eggs.

"Can you cut that?" he motioned to an onion. "Rough chop."

You did as he told you and he hummed softly when he took them from you. When majority of the things were done you smiled, turning to get a mug from the cabinet, coffee, finally...

You paused as Minho pressed behind you, breathing in your ear. "Is something wrong?"

You held your breath half expecting him to snap your head off, but he rested a hand on your hip.

"So easily scared but such big talk." He huffed a small laugh. "Stupid human."

Your face burned as he handed you a mug, "I'm not stupid..."

"You sure?" He tilted your head so you looked up at him.

Your heart stopped, when he didn't look like he wanted to kill you, he was really attractive.

"You humans faces really give away so much stuff about you." he mumbled, you could feel his breath on your lips. "No wonder Chan likes you. Such a slut." he pulled your hair and you gasped. He pressed harder against you, crotch rubbing against your ass as he breathed, "Lucky me I didn't mark you." He pulled away leaving you feeling hot and bothered.

"Hey!" You huffed, rubbing the back of your head.

He grabbed mug from the cabinet and walked over the coffee maker as if he hadn't just disrespected you like that.

"Asshole." You muttered.

He turned back to whatever he was doing, sipping his coffee, and for a brief moment you swore you saw a small smile on his face.

You somehow made it out of the house without Chan or the others suspicion, it was one meet up.. nothing could go wrong.

Or so you thought.

You went to a coffee shop near the house in case you needed to book it, you weren't afraid of him (you were), what could he possibly do? He couldn't even fly (but neither could you).

"The tattoo makes you more attractive to demons. Chan claimed you." He huffed softly. "It's also why you can't hear me."

"What does the tattoo have to do with the things I've seen?" You pursed your lips.

"Those things.. are demons ." He looked at his cocoa, "Think about how many demons want a part of the strongest's power? To crawl up to his level of strength?" He huffed a laugh. "The Sin of Pride isn't something to be tossed around uselessly." He leaned forward, and for a brief moment his eyes looked manic. "So, why would he choose a human like you..."

You squeezed your mug and exhaled.

He slid the book across the table. "This has more answers."

You looked at it. "What is it...?"

"A gift."

You took the book cautiously and opened it. The pages were blank... all of them. You flipped from left to right brow furrowing. "Why-"

"Read it in a church. The words only appear in the lord's house." He stood and stretched.

"Wait!" You stood as well.

"Hm?"

"Who are you? Why don't the others trust yo-"

"Call me your guardian angel." He smiled. "I'm going to save you from them all." He smiled and walked away.

You looked at the book before looking back at your "guardian angel", he had vanished, completely gone in the crowd.

You had a bit of time to yourself so you ended up going to the church. The pastor was doing something at the sanctuary, you entered silently and closed the door behind you. It had been a long time since you'd been in such a place. You dipped your fingers in the water at the front and performed the sign of the cross.

You walked further into the church and moved to sit on a pew, you grabbed the book from your bag and were about to open it when the pastor greeted you.

"It's not often young people like you walk into the house of god." The pastor tilted his head at you.

"I'm just... thinking a lot." You said dismissively.

"About?" He asked clearly trying to get something out of you. "I see you're very devoted." He motioned to the tattoo.

"Oh-" You almost laughed. "Yeah... Very..."

"So what's on your mind child?"

You pursed your lips. Could you really tell him about the book..? "Well... I've been interacting with certain people recently." You reached into your bag. "Things have been happening recently."

"Because of those people?" the pastor sat beside you.

"So I've been told." You pulled out the book. "And this... has the answers."

He blinked a few times. "What is it..?"

You shrugged. "I can't read it anywhere but a church so.."

The pastor took the book from you and opened the first page. You looked over his shoulder, hoping to see words.. and there was nothing.

You grabbed the book and slammed it shut, opening it again.

Nothing. nothing but aging yellow blank paper.

"I don't- he said..." You opened and closed the book a few more times.

"Now," the pastor took th book from you and rested on the seat. "There's only so much that God can do perhaps first, you should direct yourself to a mental health prof-"

"Are you calling me crazy?!" You looked at the man.

"No- just-"

"I know it sounds crazy but this tattoo the book- the things I've been seeing-"

"I don't really think-

"You don't understa-"

Thunder clapped outside and you turned to the window as it started raining.

"That wasn't in the forecast.." The pastor stood up and sighed. "I'll get you an umbrella so you don't get wet when you go out there."

You shoved the book into your bag. "It's fine."

"I really insist. I could not help you and-" The pastor froze, gaze locked on the church doors.

"And nothing." You stood and turned but the pastor grabbed you and held out his bible.

You finally looked at the doors. the man with the cap stood there. His eyes completely black, gaze locked on you and the pastor.

"In the name of Jesus..." The pastor moved slowly from between the pews, backing you up behind him. "I cast thee from this holy house."

The man with the baseball cap took a step forward and for the first time you felt something heavy weighing down on you.

"In the name of the lord, our savior, you shall not walk upon this hallowed ground."

The tattoo burned and you clutched your neck. The pastor grabbed his cross and held it out.

The man stopped, staring at you from under the rim of his hat.

"Child what's wrong-"

You gasped in pain as you felt your tattoo being undone and redone over and over. The pastors eyes widened and he stumbled back away from you in shock.

"You bear the mark of a demon! You see things! You- In the nam of Jesus Christ I remove this evil from you!"

You collapses and held your neck, it felt like the skin on your neck was being torn off your muscle. Your hand instinctively held on to the tattoo.

"I cast out this wicked being from this daughter of the lord!"

And then you felt the burning. Like your whole body was fire. A brief image of the freckled angel burning in the hallway flashed through your mind and you let out an ear piercing shriek.

"I beg of you lord free this chi-"

You hugged yourself, it burned. You remembered how Chan had smiled at you, how Changbin had offered to share his food, the sight of Jeongin counting his money, Hyunjin sitting there painting anything and everything. This couldn't be it.

You saw the blood before you realized what happened. Your eyes went wide, the burning stopped.

And the pastor's head was gone.

When Minho saw his older brother writhing in bed and clawing at the frame as if he were in pain he thought three things. The first was that judgement day had finally arrived and he and all his brothers were about to burn in holy fire and DIE. The second was that he was going into heat and resisting the urge not to find you his precious human and fuck the daylights out of you. And the third... he didn't want to think about the third.

Because why on earth would you ever try to get rid of his brother?

"Minho!" Chan jerked up and looked at him. "What is she doing..."

Both men stared at each other before Minho turned and went straight out the door.

Chan tried to stop him. "Minho- Don't" He got up but collapsed, "JEONGIN!"

"Hyung-" the younder demon stared at his brother in shock. "Why are you on the ground-"

"Minho's going to kill her-"

"Hyung I can't stop him-"

"MINHO!" Chan shouted.

MInho tore through your old apartment and found nothing. He considered paying that man who wouldn't leave you alone a visit but decided against it, then he remembered. Changbin mentioned you had a run in with... that thing.. at your hotel.

So when Minho realized you were breaking the pact without realizing he went straight to all the nearest churches. After scaring the living daylights out of several nuns, interrupting a baptism and a small wedding he found you in a church near a coffee shop.

He braced himself to enter, the storm outside whipping his hair into his eyes. Why the hell were you here in the first place? He threw the doors open just in time to see the man with the baseball cap pouncing on you, no not a man. That devil..

Minho threw himself at him with such force, both of them flew and hit the floor of the sanctuary, skidding across the floor as Minho wrapped his hands around the thing's neck.

You sat up and scrambled back, your hand touched blood and you looked at the pastor's body. You started hyperventilating, you needed to leave. You needed to run. You looked at Minho who was still slamming the man's head against the steps of the sanctuary.

You got up and took off running, stumbling over yourself as you tried to get to the church doors, you crashed against them fumbling to pull them open when a hand slammed beside your head. The wood of the door cracking as it slammed shut.

You didn't dare move. You couldn't even breath, watching as the blood seemed to waft off his hand in ash.

"Explain." he said lowly.

You didn't speak. You didn't turn around, eyes still glued on the door in front of you. Minho grabbed you shoulder and turned you around pushing you against the door, his red eyes narrowed.

"Were you trying to kill Chan.."

"What?" You were confused, "Kill him?"

"You really want to act stupid?!" He snapped.

"I DON'T UNDERSTAND! He told me the damn book would show the words in a church so I came here and-"

"Who?!" Minho glared down at you.

"The guy with the freckles.." You muttered.

Minho stared at your tear filled eyes and pulled away releasing a heavy sigh. "What book?"

You stood and walked between the pews grabbing your bag and pulling out the book.

Minho took it from you, flipping through the pages, "It's blank."

"He said it wouldn't be if I read it in a church." You whispered.

"He said that to kill you and Chan." Minho gripped the book tightly in his hands and the it went up in flames in his grasp. "Do you know what that tattoo means?"

You nodded. "Chan said because I'm hi-"

"Because you're his." Minho rolled his eyes. "Without sugaring it over. Chan made a pact with you. Even if that pact is broken and the mark is removed, remnants of Chan's power are still in you. To have the power of one of us, and no one to save you it makes you an easy target."

"He said he was helping me-" You thought about how innocent his smile was then how Chan had said not to trust him. Tears filled your eyes, you were an idiot, you were so stupid, you- you-

"He lied to you."

And you believed it. You sat on the floor beside the pew and stared at a sheet of paper burning on the ground from the book.

"I don't know if it works like this." Minho muttered to himself.

"What?" You looked up.

He turned away for a moment, staring.

"Minho-"

"Do you trust me?"

"I-"

"Do you?" he got on his knees in front of you.

You stared at the demon. Who attacked you with a power drill. Who scared the living shit out of you every time you saw him. Who just saved your life. You nodded.

Minho grabbed your wrist and pulled it to his mouth, you jerked but his grip tightened and you pulled back he fell over you as his fangs sank into your wrist.

You gasp as you felt your wrist throb and your neck burned. Just as the church doors flew of the hinges and your head turned seeing Chan standing at the door.

© 2024 xxkissesforchanniexx. DO NOT COPY OR TRANSLATE MY WORK

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[thesummerpetrichor]

𝓞𝓯𝓯 𝓽𝓸 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓡𝓪𝓬𝓮𝓼

Javier Peña x afab!reader

Summary: You’re a sociology student writing your final thesis, you shouldn’t care whether the new DEA attaché is an asshole, you shouldn’t be getting on his nerves every chance you get, shouldn’t be dreaming of him the way you do, and you certainly shouldn’t be bent over his desk in the middle of the night– letting him fuck you senseless.

Warnings: 18+ minors DNI you will be blocked. Mentions of DEA, big girthy age gap [reader is in her early twenties Javier is in his mid 40s], petnames [sweetheart, girlie, baby, babygirl etc], smut, explicit sexual content, explicit language, daddy kink, dom!Javi, mean brat tamer! javi, sub!reader, major size kink, reader is a menace and a brat, cheek pulling, like two spanks and a slap, minor choking, degradation, name calling, fingering, semi public sex [in his office], rough sex, unprotected P in V [don't do it you’re better than them!!] let me know if I missed anything!!

Word count: 8.7k

A/N: Lotsa porn, lotsa plot. Filthier than I’d like to admit but here we are. Javier is emotionally unavailable but I don’t care. Enjoy nasties. Mwah 💗

Masterlist

My old man is a bad man, but

I can't deny the way he holds my hand

And he grabs me, he has me by my heart

He doesn't mind I have a Las Vegas past

He doesn't mind I have a L.A. crass way about me

He loves me, with every beat of his cocaine heart

You were sure you looked nothing short of unstable– the way you were smiling to yourself as you hit the ‘submit’ button on the first checkpoint of your research paper. The past few months had been absolute chaos, and you weren’t really sure what was worse; the fact that your workplace had become an HR nightmare, or the way you were enjoying every goddamn second of it. 

Not long ago you’d been lucky enough to pack your bags and board a flight to Bogotá, where you were going to be writing your final sociology thesis. You’d fought tooth and nail with the department for this opportunity, and the fact that you were finally going to be there doing the work you’d always imagined– it was a dream. While you were initially a little weary of having to go through the American embassy to access records, and archives, you knew this was the best deal you were going to get, so you pushed your hesitation aside and took them up on their offer. You were obviously aware the department was going to give you hell for it– your work would be put under immeasurable scrutiny, they were going to bother you with emails all day every day, snoop around your work through their contacts at the embassy, and take any chance to fly you back. But it didn’t matter; it was going to be a dream. 

Impressing the ambassador was your top priority, impressing everyone around you really was. For as long as you could remember your bright smile, hard work and sunshine attitude had only worked in your favor. If there was one thing you enjoyed, it was the great privilege of being all your professors’ favorite student. That’s how you’d even convinced them to let you travel thousands of miles away on the university’s dime in the first place. 

The world of academia was hard, especially when you were starting out, everyone you dealt with wasn’t a progressive professor who valued your opinion despite your age and gender. Sometimes you needed help from the sleazy HOD, or the grumpy receptionist and neither cared about your expertise on Helmut Schoeck. It didn’t bother you, all you cared about was the quality of your work, and you were not going to let anyone get in the way of it. So, if good work and behaviour didn't get you what you wanted you just used your batting eyelashes, innocent pout and harmless bribes– the receptionist had mentioned liking strawberry shortcake nearly two years ago in passing, and that information sure as hell came in handy when you needed to get your paperwork sorted out. 

Boy did that skill of yours come in handy during your time in Bogotá

No one was going to make this experience anything but splendid, you were going to get to the embassy, meet the ambassador, charm her and all her coworkers in no time, make some trusted allies and go about your research unbothered and unfazed. You were determined. It was going to be a dream. 

That was until it was an absolute nightmare. The moment your plane’s wheels hit the tarmac you were slapped with wave after wave of absolute frustration. Your phone was inundated with missed calls from an unknown number, and when you called back you were promptly informed by the Ambassador’s secretary that due to spacing issues you were being relocated to the DEA offices at the far end of the embassy. 

Great, nothing better than being around a bunch of cops 24/7 .

You hadn’t made it three steps off the aerobridge before two men– both of whom looked terribly out of place in their baseball hats, grabbed you by the arm and dragged you through the airport. You wouldn’t say the word ‘accosted’ was dramatic when describing the way two employees of the American embassy had apprehended you. They didn't seem much older than you were, but they sure as hell thought they ran the damn place. When you thought about elitist diplomats thinking they were doing god's work you could be sure you imagined Agent Daniel Van Ness and Agent Chris Feistl’s faces before you’d even met them. 

“Ow! What the hell do you think you're doing?!” Van Ness pretty much tossed you into his suspicious, unmarked vehicle, and as if you weren’t sore from your excruciatingly long flight you were sure you were going to need some ice packs when you got to your service apartment. “Okay, let's not make a scene, as I said we were told to get you as soon as you got off that plane” Feistl started the engine with one hand, and put the other one up in mock surrender. 

“Didn’t know kidnapping was part of the Ambassador's agenda in Bogotá” .

The car ride to the embassy was mostly quiet, and you took the time to enjoy the beautiful Colombian city as it came into view, clear your head and mentally plan for your stay. That was, save for the two men’s grumbling about a certain Javier Peña. “Yeah, we miss this meeting and Peña’s gonna be on our ass for the next week” You’d quickly learnt he was a little bit of a hero in the DEA world, whatever that meant– took down Escobar and all. And if you couldn’t loathe him more already he was now promoted to attaché. From what Van Ness and Feistl told you  he sounded like a character– hard ass, stubborn, insolent, the list went on and on. This Javier must really be something

How bad could he really be? Probably some grumpy old guy you’d run into once in a while at the water station or fax machine. He’d pay no mind to you; some irrelevant college student. Besides, you’d win him over with your signature smile. Who knew maybe you’d even become friends? “Well Im looking forward to meeting this Javier Peña” 

 “No one has ever said that. I don't think his mother said that when he was poppin’ out.” 

And boy were they right, Javier Peña really was something. The elevator doors opened to what would soon become a familiar sight– Javier trailing the ambassador as she tried to escape him and the DEA offices. “With all due respect, if I wanted to be a babysitter I would've taken up a job with the RIPs”  She turned to face him, her back to you. “Agent Peña, I'm going to repeat myself one more time, and I really shouldn't have to, but please stop referring to them as the “RIP’’s ”. Talk about professionalism, you definitely weren’t expecting whatever the hell this was when you thought of diplomatic work. 

Noonan almost unceremoniously bumped into you as she skirted away from Javier, raising her hands in absolute elation now that he had to take care of you, and couldn’t bother her any longer. “There you are, perfect! Agent Peña show her around, and please, be nice.” She all but pushed you into him, and you heard Javier helplessly and pathetically yell after her as she walked to the elevator. “I still need that clearance ambassador–” 

Despite the fact that he was looking at you like he wanted to tear you apart you didn't let that distract from the absolute marvel Javier Peña was. If you didn’t know any better you’d be on your knees for the man, and you couldn’t trust that you did. With the way his hair sat messily ruffled atop his head in soft curls, falling dangerously close to his eyes, or the way his now crinkled button up from the tiring workday hugged his forearms, who could blame you? Who knew, maybe you even liked the way he looked at you? 

You shot him your signature smile, and extended your hand to introduce yourself. Forget about Noonan, she’d probably retire soon anyway, it was his approval you really wanted now. With brows raised he took his time assessing you. You didn’t miss the way his eyes raked over your body, or the way he chewed on his lip as he did so. Feeling a little, or maybe very, hot under his gaze you shifted uncomfortably, still holding your hand out politely, but all you got from him besides his shameless gawking was a condescending chuckle, and he was turning away and walking back inside. 

So he really was an asshole. 

You stood in shock for a moment. Was this some sort of odd hazing process at the embassy? What the hell was going on? His voice zapped you out of the absolute embarrassment of an interaction you just had. “You gonna stand there all day?” God he was such a prick. You’d barely been there two minutes and you were already on Van Ness and Feist's team. You couldn’t even imagine what life would be like if he was your boss. Or could you? 

Your gaze hardened at the realization. If there was one thing you were not going to do it was lust hopelessly after a man who didn't even want to give you the time of day, someone who thought he was so much better than you were. You were not going to inflate his already massive ego by crooning for his praise, no! You were not going to let him wield that kind of power over you. 

You watched as he walked through the office, the man sucked the air outta the room with the way he quite literally strutted across it. Practically dragging yourself behind him you tried your best to compose yourself, you were not going to let Peña and his asshole ways ruin your stay– he was going to like you, going to give you the time of day– and if hard work and a good attitude didn’t do it, your batting lashes certainly would.  

—

Swimmin' pool glimmerin', darling

White bikini off with my red nail polish

Watch me in the swimmin' pool, bright blue ripples

You sittin', sippin' on your Black Cristal, oh, yeah

In the subsequent days you surprisingly had made yourself quite at home in the embassy– after all you did spend almost all of your day there. Van Ness and Fiestl soon became great friends, and would often drop by your workstation during breaks, or to invite you out for drinks after work. Things were going rather well, there was nothing much to complain about. The people who worked at the embassy were really friendly, and many of them took a liking to you. If charming your way into everyone's good graces was still your plan it sure as hell was working. 

You’d even met a certain blonde haired, blue eyed office heartthrob. While they were both certainly easy on the eyes, Agent Murphy was otherwise little like his partner, he was friendly, helpful, and generally in a good mood. Hell he even wished you ‘good morning’ when he got into work everyday. In due time you could even say Steve Murphy had become somewhat of a friend, he was quite fond of you– then again everyone in the office really was. 

That is almost everyone. 

Progress in the Javier department of your life had barely made moves. He was such a dick. On your second day you remember knocking on his door and politely asking if he could sign some papers that would get you some cultural records in Bogotá. You didn’t know what response you’d been expecting, but he'd essentially told you to leave him the hell alone.  

You wondered if being such a bitter jerk was exhausting. “Now girlie, runalong..” And with that he shut his door. You didn't want to let it affect you, but it did. You crooned for his attention, but he was so cold and detached, and nothing seemed to get through to him. The smiles, the ‘good mornings’, the way you’d offered to drop his files at the Ambassador's on your way there, it did nothing. He only smiled at you condescendingly, and at one point even joked about how he wasn’t sure you were capable of making it to the other side of the building. 

“Don't worry your head about these files, wouldn’t want you wandering around, lost, tryna find Noonan’s office.” 

Not to mention how he couldn’t keep his mouth shut about your “silly little paper”, how your work was “cute” or “funny”. God, you couldn’t stand it. The way he leaned over your desk, jumbled up your resources while he carelessly looked through them. With his messy, loose tie, and his sideways smile, and warm, comforting brown eyes, and that mocking teasing tone…... 

—- 

My old man is a tough man, but

He got a soul as sweet as blood-red jam

And he shows me, he knows me

Every inch of my tar-black soul

“If he can’t drink it, or fuck it, he’s not interested.” When Feistl had told you that on your first day you scoffed, but it proved to be valuable, and unbelievably, true information in no time. Unintentionally Javier had condemned himself to an eternal state of perdition, you were not giving up, and this time you were going to drive him crazy. 

He surely wasn’t prepared for the little menace you became in the following weeks. You only felt pride when you’d catch him looking at you– embarrassing how he couldn't keep his eyes off. You and your cute little dresses, skirts, those you didn’t initially plan to wear to the office. His glare almost burnt a hole in your back everyday at midday, hotter than the afternoon sun peaking through the blind covered windows as you sat on Van Ness’ desk, laughing at something Feistl said. If there was one thing worse than an HR violation, it was an HR violation with a girl nearly half his age.

You’d found a fancy for discovering his ticks, new ways you could push his buttons. When you weren’t calling him sir as you addressed him, or taunting him with your dopey eyes and girlish smiles you were making his life a lot less convenient. 

“Where the hell is Peña” at least twice a week Stechner would all but slither into the office, talking about congress people, funding and how the DEA was raining all over his parade. As much as you hated the man, he was your trusted ally in trying times, especially when you decided breaking the office’s unspoken rule was going to be your new favorite pastime. That rule was of course, never telling anyone, especially his colleagues, where the hell Javier Peña was at any given time. 

So when Bill walked up to you and leaned beside your desk you faithfully pointed to the filing room you knew Javier was quite literally hiding in. When he walked, more like stormed out with Bill you were sure he could break you in half, the way he was looking at you, but you had given up lying to yourself, you loved it. Every morning he’d come into the office and have to find other places to escape to– from Noonan and Murphy and all other accountability. But for a cop he was pretty shit at it, and you always found a way to tell where it was he'd gone to. It also helped that nearly everyone enjoyed it when Javier had to deal with the bureaucracy, it was free reality tv, and you could be sure if you didn’t know who or what he was trying to avoid, someone else in the office surely would.

You had simultaneously become a great asset to Steve Murphy, who was, more than you expected, willing and enthusiastic about getting shit done, shit that Javier’s stubbornness would only prolong, especially because he knew the mix of Peña and the CIA was anything but productive. Whether it was distracting him while he got support for their missions, or rushing to answer the phones and covering for him and making Javi deal with Noonan you were always game. Murphy was always appreciative. 

“Steve’s out right now, but Javier’s in his office if you’d like to speak with him…” Steve pretty much cackled behind his desk as you handed the phone’s receiver to Peña, and watched as he exhaled heavily through his nose, using every bit of restraint he could possibly muster not to kick the two of you out of the building. He settled for flipping Murphy off instead. 

As someone who wasn’t an embassy employee you pretty much had free reign over the place, and you knew it only made Javier more upset knowing he couldn’t do anything about it. You were thoroughly enjoying your time in Bogotá, you knew Javier was thinking about you, you knew how much you got on his nerves, you loved the way he’d glare at you, boss you around, get annoyed at your little antics. You craved his attention and you were finally getting it. 

Though every once in a while you’d feel a little pang in your chest, at the way he’d roll his eyes at you, be his regular mean self. But you shoved that feeling aside, you did not want his approval. That would be pathetic. You just wanted a little payback.

—

He doesn't mind I have a flat broke-down life

In fact, he says he thinks it's what he might like about me

Admires me, the way I roll like a rolling stone

Javier had been avoiding you like the plague for a good two days. That was after he overheard a conversation you were having with your supervisor he wasn’t really meant to be a party to. You remember twirling the cord wire between your fingers as you updated her over the phone. “Yeah, I need to get to the congress library, they have all the copies there.” You pushed the speaker button, letting go of the receiver to sift through the piles of printed paper on your desk. “Do you have access, did the embassy get you an ID? I spoke to Noonan but she’s busy babysitting her employees.” You bit back a smile. Javier and Murphy sure were a handful. 

“No, of course they didn’t. They don’t give a rat's ass” Frankly, you were exhausted from having to get or find somebody to do anything around there. Noonan was practically no help until the dean was breathing down her neck, for people who had been working in Bogotà for years very few in the embassy knew the directions to anyplace that wasn’t a bar, and everyone was far too busy kissing each other’s ass to get things done. “The DEA can go, can't they? Get one of em to take you” Before you could respond you heard the rattling of the water cooler behind you, and you caught Javier’s half shocked half annoyed expression in the reflection of the window as he scrambled for a paper napkin to wipe the water off his dress shirt.  

“Hmm, I didn’t think of that…..that's a great idea” 

That was on Monday. Tuesday and Wednesday were spent turning in the opposite direction anytime you approached him, sneaking past you on his way in and out, and begging Murphy to take that trip to the Congress library instead. On Thursday you were sure you won the lottery. 

Both Murphy and Carillo in the same room, and better yet in the office before Javier had made his grand entrance. They stood over what looked to you like a large map, arguing about something with far too much energy at eight in the morning. You saw this as your little opening. Where the hell was Peña? 

Turns out he was with the Ambassador.  

—-

Likes to watch me in the glass room, bathroom, Château Marmont

Slippin' on my red dress, puttin' on my makeup

Glass room, perfume, cognac, lilac fumes

Says it feels like heaven to him

“And you’re going too?” Ambassador Noonan sat back in her chair, twirling her pencil between her fingers, looking expectantly at the irate face in front of her. You thought you’d spare Agent Peña his white lies, answering promptly in that sweet voice of yours.  “Yes, Agent Murphy told me, and besides, if he's around I can access all the archives..” You shrugged your shoulders and shot her your most persuasive smile. “Government ID an’ all” . You almost felt bad for Peña, the way his friends were so quick to rat him out. But then again he’d stirred up enough petty fights over the years so that nearly everybody was quick to get their petty revenge. That jerk was planning to take his little trip to the library– with Carillio of all people, and he was going to leave you behind? Not anymore.

“Well, I don't see the problem, just take her to the goddamn library. Jesus Peña why is everything so difficult with you.” Javier shot you a glare you could only describe as deadly, but you could only giggle at his exasperation. He rose from his chair, leaning on her desk, like he was trying to seduce her into getting out of this situation. You wondered how Noonan showed so much restraint, if you were her you’d be giving into anything he said no questions asked. 

“Ambassador, really, all that is below my paygrade, don't ya think?” Your mouth fell agape, and you turned to him to find he was smiling, looking directly at you. Asshole  “This whole conversation is below my paygrade. You’re bothering me Peña, get to work..” and with that the two of you were practically kicked out of her office and thrown into the hall,  where in the deafening silence you heard the large wooden doors slam behind you. 

You were lucky there was no one else around, especially when he practically slammed you against the wall. “What the hell do you think you’re doing? Tryna fuck my whole day over baby?” You had to physically fight yourself to not give into the death grip he had on your shoulders, to hold yourself up as he caged you against the corridor.  “I just really need these papers, and only you can get ‘em for me ” You bat your lashes at him, and he pressed his forehead against the wall beside you in complete frustration, sighing. He knew that wasn’t true, and he knew you did as well. Any intern could have gotten them for you, but who was an intern in comparison to him? 

“I won't bother you again, promise” you bit your lip and held your pinkie finger up in what Javier saw as practically an act of war. His hands moved from your shoulders to grab you by the waist as you looked up at him. Despite your smiley exterior you were all giddy on the inside, especially when he leant beside your ear and warned in his low whisper, thumbs drawing circles on your flesh. 

“You're playin’ with fire baby..” 

— 

I'm off to the races, laces

Leather on my waist is tight, and I am fallin' down

I can see your face, is shameless, Cipriani's Basement

Love you, but I'm goin' down

As much as you wanted to bother Javier during his little snoop session with Carillo, you still had a job to do, so you shoved your brattiness aside for a few hours and got to work finding the documents you needed from the archives. You were honestly expecting a medal for your self restraint, because once you were done you waited patiently till he strutted outside after his meeting, barely holding up the heavy box with all your findings. You’d been standing there for almost two hours, and the jerk hadn’t even given you a heads up so you could sit inside.

“Finally.” He rolled his eyes, and like he was running some sort of marathon didn’t bother even helping you, speed walking across the parking lot as you stumbled and struggled behind him– attempting to keep up. 

“We gotta get back, now.” 

You buckled your seatbelt as he pulled out of the driveway, and relaxed against your seat as you caught your breath. “Where’re we going?” He turned to you and smiled, but it was in that signature condescending way that he always did. Meanie You thought to yourself. “We are not going anywhere. You are going back to the office, and I am going to take care of something you don't need to worry about.” You didn't know whether there was any use still being offended by his patronizing attitude, he could’ve just said you were going back to the office, but that was too normal, too dignified of a response for the great, cartel busting Javier Peña 

“I could come.” He laughed at your pout, as he turned to look at you, rounding the corner. “Baby, don’t ya’ think that's a little ambitious comin’ from someone who got winded carrying a box across a parking lot.” You scoffed, yes, it would've been nice to have some help. “Don’t worry, I don’t want anything to do with whatever it is you're going to do, anyway” Wanting to turn away from him you looked out the window, but that only lasted so long. 

“If this lead comes through, everyone in Bogotà’s gonna want everything to do with it.” You watched as the setting sun drenched your surroundings in a golden glow, and you couldn’t look away from the way Javier’s brown eyes too turned into pools of gold as the sun caught them. His voice a low hum just a little louder than the radio he habitually played as he drove around. It took a special type of maniac to go on missions off the clock. 

“Who’s it for, the lead?” He hummed, and smiled to himself as he spoke, that look on his face you couldn’t quite place– like he was just waiting for his opponent to slip up.  “One of the big guys. You should meet him when we bring him in– you’d get along–  he's a pain in my ass” 

You turned your gaze from the opening embassy gates to meet his eyes, your own narrowed into slits as you stared him down– he was smiling, and you hated it. “Mean.” He shook his head at your irritation, and wordlessly pulled up into the driveway. “Now, you're gonna take those files, and you're gonna sit your bratty ass down, and you're gonna work on that silly paper of yours” You were halfway out the door, lifting the giant cardboard box off the floor of the car with embarrassing difficulty.

Great, there was another thing he could berate you for. 

“That's a lot of instructions..” Your voice was muffled behind your paperwork, but you’d be lying if you said you didn’t enjoy it when he tried to boss you around. 

“Well here's another– don't touch anything while I'm gone.” He laughed to himself as he caught your rolling eyes peering at him over the top of the box, that being the only part of you that was really visible to him. Waiting for you to make it to the entrance he watched as one of his colleagues, one of the many heading out for the day, took it from you, and helped you inside. 

The low hum of the radio replaced the sound of your voice, an old spanish tune coming over the static as he drove out and away from the embassy. 

—

God, I'm so crazy, baby

I'm sorry that I'm misbehaving

I'm your little harlot, starlet, Queen of Coney Island

Raisin' hell all over town

Sorry 'bout it

“Didn't I specifically tell you not to touch anything” You lifted your head in the direction of that familiar voice, irritated as usual, but also a little more gruff, a little more tired. For a moment you regretted annexing his office while he was away. You watched as he sauntered in and towards his desk, opposite the little workstation you’d set up on a spare table where he’d dumped his tie and blazer for when the Ambassador popped around. He propped his hands on his desk, leaning against it to meet your gaze. 

God did he look good, the day had taken its toll on him, but it was only doing him favors. That soft brown hair had been ruffled out of place, and that crisp button up sat wrinkled on his back, loosely and messily tucked into his navy dress pants, sleeves haphazardly rolled up his forearms. While he looked like he worked a regular nine to five, from the little you knew about his job, an intentionally minimal amount, you were sure the unkemptness was the result of some high stakes chase, raid or whatever it was he’d set his head to doing that day.  

“‘M not touching, I just needed the AC” He rolled his eyes, but his neatly hung blazer and rolled up tie caught his attention from across the room. “See.. Untouched” You shot him that smile that you knew drove him up the wall, and he shook his head, now concerned more with sorting the paperwork splayed out in front of him. “Must be real hard, highlightin’ all that paper” He pointed to your reference material. As bad as the day was, it wasn't bad enough to persuade him to stop being a jerk.  

The place was a mess, and he couldn’t leave it this way till the morning, that would be a hit to his professionalism far worse than any of the shady shit he’d done over the years. He didn’t have time for your childish antics. At least for the moment. It’d been a long day and he wanted nothing more than to get it over with. Boy did he look like he needed to let off some steam, and while at first glance your actions were doing anything but helping him relax, couldn’t he see you were just begging for him to use you for exactly that? 

Maybe it was because he was tired of your shit, or because he was far too preoccupied with his work at the time, or because the office was dark and quiet and cold, but the next few minutes passed in uncharacteristic silence. You gazed up once in a while to see Javier’s scrunched brows sort through an abundance of filing. He’d sigh heavily every once in a while, and you could only wonder what or who, besides you, got on his nerves that much. You were almost eager to eliminate the competition. The world drowned out in the white noise of shuffling documents and clicking pens and you were once again lost in your paper. 

Every part of you really wished he wasn’t such an asshole. What had you ever done to him anyway, for him to be so cold and mean? You couldn’t pretend you had nothing to do with it, you'd egged him on beyond measure, but you’d only ever wanted him to like you. Okay maybe you thoroughly enjoyed his irritation, but you only really ever wanted his attention. Pathetic.. You thought to yourself. You pretended he wasn’t bothered by you taking over his office for a moment.

“Done yet?” You hadn’t even realized how or when Javier had crossed the room and made his way in front of you. His fingers danced on the edge of your laptop screen. You didn’t feel like answering just yet, so you typed away at your keyboard for a while longer. The silence wasn’t appreciated, and you could feel the exhaustion radiate off him like heat. You caught him fiddling with the pens on your desk, and skimming over some of your printed material from the corner of your eye, and you bit your lip to stifle your laughter when he chucked it back on your desk in what you assumed was complete disinterest. He was going to try harder to get your attention. 

You weren't prepared however when he practically slammed your laptop shut, forcing you to stop ignoring him. Talk about disrupting the workplace. Groaning, you rested your chin in your palms and peered up at him through dopey eyes. A man who had been driven to the edge, that's the gaze you met. It was not going to affect you, that muted rage, that wrought iron glare. You promised yourself. But your desires were already betraying you.. you rubbed your thighs together to alleviate the ache. 

“There a problem?” With a tone that set his last teeth on edge you kept up the facade, against your better judgment. It was just too much fun not to. When you looked up at him through your lashes you could almost see the slight tick in his jaw, and your mind wandered to what other ways you’d like this type of view. “Yes, in fact there is. It's 1am” He leaned forward, dangerously close, to the point you could feel the warmth of his breath fan against your lips, the tip of his nose brushing against yours. You caught the faint smell of cigarettes off his disheveled clothes, the scent of whiskey on his lips. You felt your breath hitch, but you hoped he didn't notice. How naive, that was. 

“And” Your eyes darted to his mouth momentarily as you spoke, voice wavering. He raised his brows, almost to tell you not to push him any further than you already did. It was too late, however. Whatever this was had spiraled far out of your control, and he could see the way you squirmed under that commanding gaze of his. Your brain was screaming at the attention, and you had to inwardly yell at yourself to stop being so needy. 

“And?” Your brows furrowed, your lips forming that signature pout when you heard him mock your tone, your voice.  “I've had a long day, baby, and I wanna go home” You huffed girlishly at his ridicule, the way he liked to humiliate you by throwing your attitude back in your face with his snide imitations, his raised brow and faux sympathy. He talked like one does to a misbehaving child. In that patronizing, explanatory melody. You watched him chuckle with slitted eyes, though you were slowly turning to a puddle underneath it all.

“Go home then Mr. Peña. I'm not stopping you am I?” You watched his eyes darken, and you weren't even sure that was possible, but you didn’t have much time to think because before you knew it he was pinching your cheeks between his fingers, his other hand still holding him up on the table. You could only whine under his rough touch as its effects licked between your thighs. He laughed when you mewed at the sting. 

“Oh but you are. You're just beggin’ me to stay, aren't ya’ baby?” Your soft and pathetically unconvincing ‘no’ was muffled as he squeezed your cheeks in his large hands, yanking you in his direction as you fruitlessly attempted to free yourself from his grip. Unable to help yourself you were almost crooning into his touch, your body basically begging him to rough you up. “Such a fuckin’ brat. Runnin’ your mouth all day, showin’ up in those clothes, fuckin up my schedule, acting like a whore” His soft whisper made you shiver, your skin now on fire. He spoke slowly, and every syllable made you want to drop at his feet with a vigor you could only be embarrassed of. He made you feel small, made you feel helpless under his touch. 

You wanted to push back, wanted to defy his accusations.“‘m not a whore” He smiled at your whining, and if you were delusional, and you were, even hopeful,  you’d say he did so endearingly. But Javier Peña didn’t care about endearments, and after the way you’d acted you’d be crazy to think he thought there was anything endearing about you. “Right baby. You're not. Gotta pay girls to act this way ‘round me. But look at you. Didn’t spare you a fuckin dime.” 

He had let go of your face, and had in a moment, quickly and uncaringly dumped you on the table in front of him. You let out a soft “ow” when you felt your knees bump the wood before your legs were dangling off its edge. You were far closer to him now, and if you had felt small before you thought you were only shrinking in comparison to his domineering frame– physical, mental, everything. Your brain was mush, your body was mush, and you could only lean into his touch– benevolent or not. 

In an uncharacteristically gentle gesture he patted your cheeks with the palm of his hand, lightly, as if to soothe the sore flesh, but it only made the way he pulled them mockingly far more jarring. “Know what that makes you babygirl?” He paused for a moment, knowing you couldn't answer, looking down at the way your eyes were now welling with tears at the pain, and reveling in the sight. 

“Makes you a little slut” 

You wanted to respond, wanted to defend yourself, but you could only settle for grabbing his dress shirt in the balls of your first. The fabric of your panties had pretty much soaked through, and you felt it cling to you uncomfortably as you shifted on the table to pull him closer. Practically begging for his touch. 

He let go of your face, but he didn’t plan on being any more gentle. He knew there was nothing you could do, nothing you could say at that moment, and he took full advantage of your silence– telling you everything he’d wanted to scream in your face for the past month. It was even better now however, because as a fun bonus, for his superhuman self control, you were even pleading for him to do so. He could see it in your eyes, feel it on your hot skin, the way you subtly rolled your hips against the table to ease the pang between your thighs. He reduced you to a dumb, empty headed bimbo, with his words alone. He couldn't help but rub it in a little. “Aw baby, no words for me? Where’s that snappy mouth now?” That faux sympathy was back again

His hands rubbed up and down your sides, moving to toy with the buttons of your top as he spoke. Fiddling with them he popped the first few open, enough to expose the swell of your breasts to the cool of the air conditioned office. With lust blown eyes he trailed his thumbs along your collar bones and then down to your admittedly skimpy lingerie– you gasped when he yanked it down, practically tearing if in a swift motion. He admired you for a moment, held you in place when you squirmed against him, wrapped your legs around his waist. 

You shifted on the desk, leaning your face against his torso, looking up at him,  pleading with your eyes. “Like you better like this, clothes half off like a desperate slut that couldn’t even wait to get undressed.” He paused, still admiring, tracing your cheekbones with his thumbs. “Oh, and fucking quiet”  he flipped you on your stomach, your legs dangling of the table when you writhed under his punishing grip– pushing your face down against the wood, bending you over it. “Whaddya think baby?” 

As if he had enough of just looking you felt him flip your skirt up with his vacant hand, and yelped when his palm came down harshly on the flesh of your ass, the sting only egging on your tears of desperation. “You know what I think baby? Think I needa fuck some manners into you.” He smoothed his hands up and down your warm thighs, fingers finding the soaked fabric of your panties as you moaned and sighed above him. He knew what he did to you and he loved it. “Can pretend there's anything in that head of yours besides the thought of goin’ dumb for me”

You lifted your head to look up and behind you, you’d give anything to witness the sight you’d touched yourself to for the past month, but Javier was quick to slam you head back back to where it came from, and send your eyes rolling back into your head as he shoved your soaked panties aside and roughly pushed two fingers into your sopping cunt. "Fuck, look at this tight little pussy, can barley take my fingers." He groaned in your ear, leaning up against you as his digits fucked you at an agonisingly slow pace, just barely soothing the burn of desire building in your core. “Bad girls don’t get a view.” Light headed, you could only squeal, could only hide your face from him as he leaned over to catch a glimpse of your knitted brows and that pout. 

"Y'know how messy y'are baby? Feel how this pussys cryin' for me, drippin' all over my hand?"

You kicked your legs in protest, salty tears streaming down your face and pooling at its side on the wood beneath you. He wasn’t happy when he found you pushing back against his fingers, grinding helplessly on them. For a moment you thought your wish was granted, but he was only yanking you off the desk so you could have your back flush against him, and he could get his hand wrapped tightly around your throat. Still languidly pumping his fingers in and out of your soaking pussy he turned your face to meet his, and sneered as his palm collided with the side of your cheek. 

Smack 

“Watch it” You wanted to be a brat, wanted to defy him, but it was all too much to handle at once. You felt fuzzy all over, and who were you kidding you were always going dumb for him. Besides, how could you even keep your mind steady, not when you felt his hard length against you. You gazed right up at him, pushed back against him, eyes rolling back into your head as you did. He only laughed. “Oh baby, think it's gonna be that easy? Think ‘m gonna let you cum jus’ like that? After you've run me up the wall?” He squeezed your breast in his palm, bending you back over the table, now more gently, extending the olive branch, giving you a chance to repent. “‘M not a needy slut like you baby, those little tricks ain't’ gonna work” Javier was an asshole, but he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t waiting to ruin you. But first he wanted to have a little fun. 

“Please, please, promise I'll be good.” He hummed, pretending like he was debating whether he was going to give into your pleas yet. He wasn't. He wanted to soak in the sight– you splayed out on his desk, begging him to fuck you sensless, his hands roaming your body torturously teasing you as your pussy clenched around nothing, dripping for him. 

“So now ya wanna be good? Well baby I'm not buyin it yet. Gonna take a lot more convincing than that.” His fingers found your clothed cunt once again, drawing soft circles on your clit. You wailed, knuckles going white when you gripped the table edge in front of you. "Feels good doesnt' it babygirl, I know, feels so good when you finally fucking listen." You pushed back against his fingers, practically humping his hand. The tears were back, and he loved them. “Aw, poor baby, too much?” He wasn’t asking, and you knew he didn’t care what you had to say anyway. He wanted one response, and you were far too wound up not to give it to him. 

“Please please please. Won't be a brat, wanna be your good girl.” He kept you waiting and distraught, fingers still rubbing you through your panties as he spoke, knowing very well you could barely concentrate when he touched you, the squelching of your wetness only drove you towards the edge. “Now babygirl, you're gonna listen, and you're gonna listen good, and do exactly what I say. Ya hear?” You nodded your head vigorously, but a smack to your ass reminded you to use your words. “Yes. promise” He laughed. “Such an easy little slut.” You heard the jingle of his belt behind you. 

You shivered when you felt his cock drag against your drenched cunt, tip bumping your clit with every pass as he wet himself with your slick. Your hips moved frantically, unable to get enough of the friction, but he held you back just enough, to where you would remain unsatisfied and frustrated.“Say" I'm sorry daddy. I'm sorry for being a tease.” You could hear the smirk in his voice, and the command alone was enough to send you over the edge. 

“‘m sorry for being a tease daddy ” 

“Say “I'm Sorry for being an easy whore”” 

“M’ sorry for being an easy whore” You’d never been more shy in your life, forget around Javier, who could never guess you had it in you. “That’s my good little slut.” But the way he was speaking to you, teasing, mocking, telling you what to do, what to say– you were hot all over with humiliation. You hid your face, pretty much smashing your forehead against the table, making sure no matter how far he lent he couldn't see the way you were coming undone under him. 

He could probably sense it, though, especially by the way you reacted to his little praise. “That's it babygirl. Comin around now are we?” You didn't want him to have that on you, but you were lucky, in a way, because he didn’t care much to tease you anymore. He grabbed your hips harshly and with a rough thrust of his hips he was fucking you into the mahogany desk, your ribs bruising as he held you down against it. He wasn’t wasting any time, wasn’t stopping or going slow to let you adjust, he was reminding you of how tightly you’d wound him up.“So fuckin tight” his voice was a strained whisper behind you, and you made a noise you could barely recognise as your own at his words. “Hurts” you were whining again,this time at the sting,  and you knew he didn’t care but you couldn’t help yourself. “Yeah baby hurts when daddy stuffs you full of his cock? My poor thing.. But you like it don't you babygirl? Like it when I stretch you open” he wasn’t wrong. The feeling of him splitting you open had turned you into a puddle, a moaning mess. “”S too big” his hands smoothed up and down your back erratically.  “I know baby, I know, but you’re gonna take it aren’t you? Gonna take it how I give it to you dirty little girl?” You were, you took it how he gave it to you. “Gonna ruin this pretty lil pussy” He squeezed the flesh of your hips till you squeaked, the pain only adding to the pleasure as his hips smacked against yours. 

You felt your legs shake as his cock pounded your aching pussy. “Jus’ needed daddy to fuck all that brattiness outta ya huh?” You nodded your head and he cooed at the way you melted into his touch. “Oh baby, that’s it, just like that.” Gazing up with hooded eyes you caught his reflection in the glass of his office window, half illuminated by the dim lighting– his own face scrunched up with pleasure. The sight only had you fucking back against him. You felt like jello, your heart pitter pattering at his little praise. 

“My good little slut” 

Wrapping his arm around you he grabbed your face roughly again, dragging you up and against his chest again. 

“My slut, hear me?” 

Yours, yours, yours 

Your brain was a fog, and the only thing you could focus on was the way his cock was hitting that sweet spot inside you, making you clench around him as that burn built in your core– a string of incoherent “daddy’s” being the only thing you could manage to get out your mouth.  “My dumb fuckin baby, my whore, squeezin’ my cock”. You repeated like a broken record; “daddy’s, daddy’s daddy’s”, the feeling of your slick running down your thighs making you go dizzy. 

“Look at you, daddy’s little cumdump” your cheeks were burning, your eyes barley staying open. He pulled your face up from the desk. “Can barely look straight huh baby? Gettin all cock drunk on me.” You made out his dark eyes in the reflection. But you couldn’t bear to meet them. It didn’t matter. He was always looking at you.

“Only for you daddy”

Your release was building, like an inextinguishable fire, your pussy throbbing with need, just begging for it, and he knew it too, the way your walls quivered around him, the way you were moaning and panting, whispering soft calls of “daddy” when he held you against him. “Gonna cum babygirl? Gonna cum on my cock, bent over my desk? When ’m usin’ ya like a fuckin toy?” 

Your body went lax in his arms as you came, your lips parting in a wordless cry, eyes fluttering shut. “That's it… cum for me”. You cherished that almost gentle encouragement as you came undone, tummy swarming with butterflies as you shook in his arms. He was still fucking into your sensitive pussy, pushing you further into the desk as he neared his release. You heard a strained curse behind you, before he was fucking you full of his cum in deep, hard thrusts, your legs dangled off the table as you milked his cock. Shivering at the feeling you closed your eyes, his spend leaked out of your sore pussy when he pulled out, dripping down your inner thighs obscenely. You heard his belt jingle again as he caught his breath behind you, and you felt silly for the way you missed his warmth when it was replaced by the chilled office air. He quickly shifted your panties back in place, making sure you stayed stuffed full of his cum. You winced when he smacked your pussy lightly. Raising your head you caught his reflection again, but you hid your face back against the desk almost immediately when you saw the way he admired his work in the reflection, like he could see the way he’d fucked the brattiness out of you. 

With closed eyes you hummed as he turned you over and sat you on the desk. Now that you’d finally got Javier’s attention you were satisfied– all sleepy and fucked out. You wished he’d hold you, but you had to remind yourself fucking you hadn’t taken the asshole out of him. He was still Javier. Hardass DEA attaché Javier. You sat there for a while, and when you opened your eyes you saw him picking up his blazer and briefcase. 

“If you're not up in 10 seconds I'm leavin’ ya here.” He was back to usual in a moment, and in your fuzzy little head you heard a well meaningness in that tone. “In those messy panties.” You pouted at his words, once again, and he watched as you hopped off the table, rubbing your eyes as you gathered your things, albeit clumsily–your knees wobbly to the point where you could see Javier’s smirk behind you as you shoved your laptop into your bag. 

Turning off the table lamp he motioned with his head for you to get moving along, and you rolled your eyes at him as you walked out the door, stumbling slightly as you did. He gave you what you now recognised as that look, brows raised, and you didn’t have the energy at the moment to be combative. 

Maybe you didn’t want to be. 

“Come on now, runalong”

—

My old man is a thief, and

I'm gonna stay and pray with him 'til the end

But I trust in the decision of the Lord, to watch over us

Take him when He may, if He may

I'm not afraid to say that I'd die without him

Who else is gonna put up with me this way?

I need you, I breathe you, I'll never leave you!

They would rue the day I was alone, without you

You're lyin' with your gold chain on

Cigar hangin' from your lips, I said, "Hon'"

"You never looked so beautiful as you do now, my man"

And we're off to the races, places

Ready, set, the gate is down and now we're goin' in

To Las Vegas, chaos, Casino Oasis

Honey, it is time to spin

Boy, you're so crazy, baby

I love you forever, not maybe

You are my one true love

You are my one true love

You are my one true love

Let me know what you think please!! I’d love to hear your nasty thots. I really hope you lovelies liked it. Thank you to everyone who reblogs my work. You keep me writing! Dividers and banners by @ saradika 💗💗🐝🐝

[iouinotes]

Show-off | Mike Ross

pairing: Mike Ross x female!reader

show: Suits

genre: smut word count: 2,9k

summary: you and your co-worker Mike dont get along very well. But when you have something that he needs, suddenly everything is different.

a/n: Just watched the first two episodes of "Suits" and something about Mike is really attractive-

Working in a well-known office as a lawyer has it's advantages. Such as being respected by business people or being able to afford a lot of things, you spend all your evenings analyzing documents rather than meeting actual people.

Nevertheless, sometimes there are also negative factors. For example, my co-worker Mike, who really believes, that he is with his ridiculously skinny tie and sarcastic humor better than the others. Or right now, better than me.

"God, I cant believe you. Can you behave for once?" I use my fingers to push my hair back in frustration, noticing how my head starts to hurt. Its 10 pm and I'm currently trying to stay calm, though because of one man in particular, my nerves seem to be getting thinner within seconds. Valuable time is wasted that I could spend somewhere else instead of with him.

"Now it's my fault, that you don't have the documents with you? Sorry, I can't help you being organized in your own workplace." His voice irritates me. Everything about him is so frustrating.

"I told you, I didnt get the message! How am I supposed to know, that you need something, when you don't tell me anything about it? Maybe you should stop being so childish and ask me in the first place, instead of running to Rachel!" If our job had nothing to do with justice and we werent literally standing in a law company right now, I would kill him. And then I wouldn't hesitate to go to court and say it was self-defense, because I didnt want to hear any of his miserable excuses anymore.

"So what do you think, I should do? I need these documents for tomorrow. Please, I know you don't like me, but it is really urgent." Why does he has such blue eyes? The look he is going me is even more irritating than his voice.

I sign, exhibit my laptop and try to put the pens back, that are laying all over my desk.

"Okay, fine. As I said, the documents are at home, so-" I don´t even get to finish my sentence.

"Great, so I'll meet you there. And I wont even tell anyone, if your place is a mess." His eyes wander over my messy desk, and even If I don´t like to admit it, it's a bad habit of mine. But, he shouldn't make any assumptions about the neatness in my apartment.

"I hope you loose the documents on your way home." At my words, he grins smugly.

"Well, then I could lie and say you didnt found them anymore and I hadnt had the chance to go through them." He leans towards me.

"I'll run you over with my car." He raises his eyebrows at my threat.

"You sure should do something that makes you smile more often. Is that even something you know how to do?" I show him my middle finger and turn to left my office. When I close the door, I hear the laughter in his voice.

"The next storm should be named after you as quickly as you left the room." He follows after me.

"Can you shut up for once? Oh, I forgot. You don´t last one second being silent. Thats a shame, the world could finally heal." His hand rests on his heart, his features fake a hurt expression.

"Ouch. You really don´t like me that much, huh?" His eyes try to search mine.

"You get on my nerves on purpose every fucking day. Should I thank you for that?" I turn my head to look at him.

"Yes, you should. Your life would be so boring without me." He grins at me again from the side, that typical grimace that is always adorn on his face.

"You wish." When I tell him my address, he raises his eyebrows, but before he can make an unfavorable comment, I get into my car.

Darkness surrounds me and when I see him going away, I lower my head to the steering wheel. He really is the best at confusing my emotions.

~~~~~

I turn off the lights of my car and get out of it, so I can finally make my way to my flat. Its not something special, I mean I have a living room, which is quite big and connected to the kitchen, a bedroom and a bath. But I am very lucky, because I have a small balcony, from which I can watch the stars at night. But I usually only do that when I can't sleep.

So, when I enter my apartment, I let my eyes wander over the manageable mess, I put some clothes back in the closet and the dishes in the washing machine. The place almost looks decent, when I hear the doorbell.

As I open the door, I'm nervous for some reason. I let him in and turn to my office drawers, looking for the document.

"Nice place. You live here alone?" His fingers trace my bookshelf, I see him reading the titles.

"No, my wife is still at work." When I look at him dead serious, I see him laugh in surprise.

"So, you do have humor. I thought, you were one of those exceptions that wouldn't be able to do that." He means it as a joke, but something in my chest hurts.

When I reply with a monotonous voice, I see his eyebrows pull together. "I live here alone. That's what you wanted to hear?" I'm getting more frustrated again with every second he's around me.

"No- I didnt mean it that way. I'm sorry. My intentions were good, I promise." When I look at him for a moment, I see his honest expression.

It would be so easier for me to hate him, if I didnt know, he was a good human. Well, most of the time.

We are silent for a moment, but when I hear his footsteps, I tense up.

"What are you doing?" He's now standing right next to me.

"Helping you. You seem a little, tense?" I glare at him for a moment and he raises his hands in defense.

"Just pointed out the obvious. But dont worry. You still look lovely." I stop in my movements at his words.

"Thats such shock for you?" His voice shows surprise and a certain curiosity.

"Only that you say it." I look into his eyes.

"Well, you may think I'm dumb, but I'm not blind."

He just called me beautiful, sort of. It´s confusing me.

When I finally find the documents, I hold my hand out to him.

"I don´t think you are dumb. I think you're annoying. And a show-off. I don´t like that." His eyes follow me.

"What do you like then?" His question surprises me. He slowly takes the documents out of my hand, his finger gently brushing mine.

"I don´t think that is any of your business." I try to clear my voice. His touch makes me shiver.

"Come on, tell me. Would that be so bad?" His whole presence is making me nervous and I feel my hands start to shake.

At work, I can always hide behind a mask, pretend that nothing he does affects me. I can act like I truly hate him, even though I catch myself looking at him, from time to time. Especially when he shows off his intelligence without realizing it, impresses his clients and -I would never admit it- me too. It's a certain charm about him, the way he always knows how to answer, while being mischievous and clever about it.

But now, that he's in my apartment and so close to me, it's suddenly different. And I don't know how to react to him being nice.

"I look for someone who isnt afraid of commitment. Someone who is honest and kind, but who also challenges me. I want to feel safe, so I can put my trust not only in myself."

He nods and is quiet for a moment, I begin to feel stupid for telling him all of that, when he responds.

"I get that. Someone whose shoulder you can lean on when things get too much. Someone who meets your needs, who wants to be in your life. For longer than a one-night stand." He smiles at me and I see for the first time, why I possibly could like him.

"Also, statistics show higher rates of being robbed or kidnapped, when you have one-night stands." This remark almost makes me laugh, even though it's frightening.

"Well, who would even notice, if I would disappear? Probably only my clients, because they need me." I lower my head, being completely honest with him for the first time.

"I would notice."

When I look at him, he takes a step towards me. His fingers gently slide over my shoulder and brush my hair aside, the touch makes a warm feeling bloom in my chest.

"I couldn't annoy you anymore. My life would be pretty boring without you. And it's not so bad to be able to look at such a pretty face every day, even if it always looks at me annoyed, like all the time." I quietly laugh at that, feeling surprisingly good because of his compliment.

We look at each other, now being really close. My eyes travel to his lips and I don´t even know how it happens, but suddenly he is all over me. His lips on mine, his hands on my waist, lifting me up to sit me on the desk. I moan softly when his hands tangle in my hair and he pushes himself closer to me, so that he's standing between my legs. One of his hands gently wraps around my neck and I feel my loud pulse.

My hands move too, stroking his back and holding him closer to me by his tie. As he pulls his lips away from me, he lifts my chin with his finger. Now, looking down at me with widen pupils. I hold his eye contact, forgetting all about my issues with him, when he speaks to me with a deep voice (which I suddenly don´t think sounds irritating anymore).

"Be angry at me tomorrow and mine for tonight. I bet, all your frustration from work and your thin nerves can catch a break, what do you say?"

Not much. Because I pull him towards me by his tie and kiss him again. I don't want to stop at all anymore. He returns the kiss with the same enthusiasm and his hands find their way to my waist again to lift me up again. When he crosses the living room with quick steps and lays me down on the sofa, I already feel out of breath and clearly turned on.

His kisses become more intense, his lips move from my mouth to my neck, leaving marks there. But it feels too good to make him stop.

"I will gladly hear your excuses, when someone asks you about your hickeys tomorrow. Because you will be all flustered, when you think again about this moment. Where you are ready to be fucked by your colleague, who you despise so much." I whimper as he pushes up my dress and his hands pull my tights down to my knees. The cold air hits my skin, but I don't really notice it, because his lips are on my neck again and his fingers connect first with my stomach and then further down. I hold my breath as his lips touch my ear and his fingers stroke my folds.

"So wet for me. Didnt think, I would turn you on this much." I kiss him to shut him up.

"You are-" I moan, when he finally puts a finger in me. "-so annoying." He laughs at me.

"Am I? But you seem to like it." I feel myself getting wetter, his fingers feel so good as they move gently but firmly inside me. One of his hands moves to push my dress further up and somehow, he manages to pull it over my head. Now, I'm lying in front of him in just a bra, his hands slowly find their way over my body and to my back, which I lift slightly so that he can open the clasp.

When I lie naked in front of him and he massages my breasts, his lips touch mine and his fingers stimulate me, I feel like I'm in heaven.

He breaks apart, so he can look at me and I draw my eyebrows together, when his fingers increase in speed. My mouth opens and the sounds that escape me echo in the apartment.

"I'm- god, I think I am going to come-" at that he starts to tease me, going slower but a lot deeper. My eyes almost roll back as he hits a certain spot inside me.

"That feels good? What do you say, when you want something?" You stupid idiot.

"You stupid-" I begin to say as his lips graze my nipple and his finger scissor and stretch me out further.

"One word, darling. Say it." And because I feel this knot inside me (and maybe this side of him turns me on, like a lot), I finally open my mouth to please him.

"Please, Mike. I-I need to-" My sentence is cut off as his fingers speed up and I moan loudly.

"Thats a good girl, you can be so good to me, if I make you." His lips search mine as I finally come. My breathing is heavy and when I come down from my high and look at his face, I see the satisfied expression.

"You are done-" I can't maintain my strict facial expression and suddenly have to start smiling. His eyes widen in surprise and I raise my eyebrows, still smiling softly.

"What?" I quietly laugh at his expression.

"Nothing, its just- I have never seen you smiling so happy." I roll my eyes gently. As I look at him closer now, I see the bulge in his pants and the loosened tie. As I lean forward, his eyes shift to my body.

"You still are fully clothed. A bit unfair, don't you think?" I watch him swallow and my hands move to his chest to slowly unbutton his shirt. As I also remove the tie and slip the shirt from his shoulders, I sit myself on his lap. Rocking my hips forward and seeing his eyes close. His hands move to my hips and begin to control the movements, my eyes close too and my head leans into the crook of his neck as the movements become faster.

Sighs and heavy breaths leave his lips and once again, one of his hands moves to grab my breasts, lightly grazing the nipples.

I look at him, noticing his swollen lips and his flushed cheeks. His hair is a mess and his forehead is furrowed, but he tries his best to pull himself together.

I groan as I look at him and suddenly think back to todays afternoon, when he was on a phone call and I heard how he listed one reciting fact after another, without any difficulty.

"What are you thinking about?" His voice pulls me out of my thoughts.

"N-nothing" I'm definitely too embarrassed to admit how much his intelligence and the way he seems to know everything, turns me on.

One of his hands moves to my entrance and teases me by just circling around it. When I try to push myself down, he pulls his fingers away.

"You tell me, whats going on in that pretty head of yours and you'll get me." My body feels so hot, I can't think properly anymore.

"You where on a phone call today and you just- you listed without any effort every single point that will help you win the case. You just said it like- it's nothing."

When his fingers dig into me again, I bite my lips. I try to control my moans and not pay attention to the fact, that I just gave him every opportunity to make him be more complacent than his usual self.

His fingers pump into me and I feel slightly overstimulated. But I wouldnt want to stop now.

"You get off by the thought of me, saying memorized facts? Who would have thought that my intelligence would turn you on so much." God, his ego probably doesn't fit in this apartment anymore.

"Don't think too highly of yourself, you still annoy me." Now I'm really just trying to get myself out of the situation. I lean towards him, so he can't say anything anymore and pull on his blonde hair to distract him.

Moans escape my lips and when I notice that his noises are also getting louder, I pull away from him. He looks at me confused.

"I want you inside me." Thats all I say, but he quickly complies with my request. I slide off his lap and wait for him to take off his pants and boxers until he's finally on top of me again. His fingers find my bottom lip and while maintaining eye contact, I open my mouth so he can insert a finger. My tongue brushes against his and after a few moments of him pressing on my tongue, he lets his fingers move back to the spot that needs him the most.

He stretches me for a few minutes until he finally guides his cock to my hole and slowly penetrates me. My eyes close and I hear his breath in my ear as he pushes further.

"You are so tight- good thing finally someone fucks you." I nod without thinking and hear his laughter in my ear.

"You think so too, huh. Would you let anyone fuck you then?" My stomach tenses, I feel the pleasure growing again and every movement of him. This feels so good-

I try to shake my head, but I'm too lost in the sensations to pay much attention to his words.

"No? But I thought, you hate me. Why would you let me fuck you, if you don´t even like me?" His thrusts become faster and more uncontrolled, I feel him getting closer to his own high.

"I-" I try to stutter "d-don´t hate you." I feel myself getting closer and reach into his hair, pulling at the roots and feeling his lips on my shoulder. His thrusts become more powerful and as he moves his hand and massages my clitoris, suddenly everything goes white in front of my eyes and I come.

I feel every inch inside of me, feel his fingers brush over the visible bulge in my stomach and think to myself: god I feel so full

When he comes too, I moan so loudly that it's impossible that my neighbors didn't hear me. His hand finds its way around my chin, he slides a finger into my mouth and I feel my vagina tighten because of it.

He hisses and his thrusts slow down until he finally pulls out of me, trying not to fall on top of me. As I give him some space next to me, he falls halfway on me, but pulls me on top of him in the next second and I can hear his strong heartbeat. With his outstretched hand he pulls the blanket over me, that had fallen to the floor.

We both try to catch our breath and as the minutes pass, only the wind outside is heard. He is the first to break the silence.

"So, you don't hate me?" I lift my head from his naked chest to look at him.

"Only sometimes." He shakes his head and smiles, gently stroking my back.

The evening went by quickly, we ordered a pizza and ate it (clothed) on the terrace. We were going over his documents for tomorrow, I blushed at the thought that this was the real reason he came here, but he just hugged me from behind after we finished and continued watching the stars.

It's not really clear what this evening means for us, but I don´t want to get into that, not yet. Because I'm not sure what it means anyway.

Because now, I have to get used to the fact that his voice no longer irritates me, that his jokes no longer annoy me and that he as a person, is actually not as bad as I imagined.

"Who thought, I was the one to get you relax."

But he is still a show-off.

[spennsrs]

spencer agnew x reader

reader is a new intern/assistant for the games department and her and spencer kinda hit it off

possible slow burn

spencer content <3 love you

↳˳;; ❝ fuckin' nerd ༊*·˚

here we go spencer nation this is for you and erm its somewhat slowburn ig.... no confirmation of relationship so yas... reader referred to using they/them <3

first day jitters fuckin' sucked. [y/n] could attest to that.

they rub their hands on the front of their jeans, the material somewhat grounding them as they stare at the office building... okay, technically it wasn't their first day, they had been there yesterday to set their desk up and get somewhat acquainted with the games side of the office. they met alex tran, jacqi, even vida!

but a specific glasses wearing, kickstart drinkin' idiot (alex tran's words) wasn't there. spencer agnew.. or their boss, essentially.

[y/n] didn't know why they were so nervous. it's not like spencer was a scary guy, per say... maybe he was. shaking their head, [y/n] enters the building with a semi-confident grin on their face, entering the lobby... only to be met with another body. well.. more like colliding.

"oh shit, i'm sorry dude-" "my bad-"

[y/n] collects themself as they brush off their clothes, before looking up to an average height male with curly dark hair and round glasses framing his eyes. he was... cute, in a... kind of dorky, awkward nerdy best friend in some mediocre coming of age novel. they find themself staring and quickly before they start to talk.

"you okay? we bumped pretty hard into each other... usually, i'm paying way more attention, i guess, i'm so sorry-" "hey.. you're that new intern, right? holy shit, you are. [y/n], right? what a first impression... i'm spencer by the way."

fuck. shit. fuckin' shit. of course this was their boss. they just ran into their boss, on their second first day...

"uhm... yeah. i'm [y/n], the one and only, heh. listen, i feel terrible for what i did, i can make it up to you! buy you a coffee, extra work, whatever you need, i'm willing."

their words were met with silence from spencer, and for a brief moment, they thought they fucked up royally. completely. fired on the spot.

"first meeting, an you're already asking me on a date? bold moves, [y/n], but i'm not that easily swayed." spencer's lips tug into a toothy grin, a grin that holds a teasing and chaff, a grin that promises lots of fun jokes at work, a grin that promised to keep them on their toes, to keep their heart fluttering-

[y/n] can't help but snort with a raised brow, determined to give back the same sass. if this is what it was like working here, they could get used to this place. "in your dreams, boss man. workplace relationships never work out anyway." they snap back with a laugh, which makes spencer mirror the action.

"fair enough, fair enough. i'm just pulling your chain, welcome to smosh games. i think we'll get along just fine."

[y/n] likes to agree with that statement.

only a week of working at smosh, and [y/n] was finding the place to be a second home of sorts.

alex t had quickly climbed the ranks of becoming [y/n]'s favorite person, almost like a brother figure of sorts to the newer employee. on the other end of that, spencer had grown to be [y/n]'s biggest enemy, bully, and pin in their ass.

in a loving way, of course.

the two of them would bounce off each other's energy, and could bicker for hours, and had even developed a bit of a joking beef in the office. this also led to a little.. club of sorts, smosh employees who were banking on spencer and [y/n] eventually ending up together. even mythical employees were in on this, thanks to trevor. (who would've known rhett and link would be the fan club's number one members)

of course, this had led to some unspoken feelings, at least on spencer's side of things. he refused to say a thing, workplace relationships and h.r and all that jazz or whatever. he also didn't want to seem creepy as their boss having a crush on one of the interns. the only person who actively knew about spencer's little... predicament was alex t, which kind of sucks considering how close alex was to [y/n]. so, all in all, he was fucked.

lost in his own thoughts, spencer made his way to the office kitchen to grab another kickstart when he notices [y/n] fiddling with... well, he couldn't give a shit. what mattered was [y/n] was here. he runs a hand through his hair as he approaches them from behind, a wicked grin on his lips before he gently pokes their side. the other's body jolts and spencer catches how their eyes go wide like saucers, before spinning to glare at spencer. he could tell the glare wasn't angry or upset really, but also the bubbling laugh kinda gave them away.

"hey, [y/n], whatcha doin'? anything interesting?"

the other scoffs and turns back to what they were doing, which spencer can actually see is them fixing their lunch as [y/n] releases a dramatic sigh. "i was peacefully making lunch, but now the duke of chaos himself is here."

"duke of chaos? i'm the god of chaos, thank you very much, goddess of idiocy." that earned him another friendly glare over the shoulder. this is what he adored about them. sure, they were really cute, and their laugh was like... the most beautiful song he's heard, and their hands were nice and soft and fit right in his perfectly-

spence, stop getting carried away.. right.

he adored [y/n] because they knew how to joke, how to have a laugh, to keep up with his rather snarky little comments. he really valued that in a friend or a partner, but for some reason.. playful bullying looked really good especially on [y/n]. well... [y/n]'s specific hair color looked good on them as well... and that new top - he knew it was new because maybe he overheard them talking to chanse about it - fit them perfectly, and their eye color fit them perfectly-

"anyone home in there? this is ground control to spencer agnew, do you copy?" .... oh shit, they had been talking. he stared at them with wide eyes, swallowing thickly. he felt something akin to a blush creeping up his neck to settle on his cheeks, and he knew they could see it based on the sly smirk that played onto their lips. "you're lucky it's me you're staring, y'know. think about that next time you gawk at women while zoning out."

"i wasn't-.. shut up, i wasn't gawking!" he definitely was gawking.

"you stupid fuckin' nerd. come on, we have a meeting to get to."

spencer could live with this, keeping the pretty intern a daydream away so they could keep a good work friendship with their inside jokes and their movie nights they'll end up having, spencer sharing his love for kickstarts with [y/n] who will complain but drink them anyway... as long as they were in his life, he didn't quite care what they were, or what other people thought of them. he couldn't care less if he gave his feelings away in the fleeting touches when they returned a pen they borrowed and how he made it linger, or how he stared at them like they hung the stars in the sky just for him... he didn't need a picture perfect movie ending...

all that mattered was he was their stupid fuckin' nerd, where they liked (or knew) it or not.

[uninformedartist]

So hey long time no see, just popping in to say that this video by Official_TVC is bullshit.

So summary + thoughts:

Video starts off with defintions on different types of stalking & they say Vivienne has experienced all this kind of stalking. Then goes on to say its 2 individuals doing this stalking and they we the viewer doesn't need to know them, Official_TVC has done a lot of research on them and we should should trust Official & their word without evidence because apparently they retweeted something on twitter & it was a tumblr post thats supposedly exposed Vivienne's siblings, personal things ect. All this is hearsay by you, it shouldn't make the average viewer trust your word. Yes I've seen things but that was from posts I've seen.

Aside -honestly Official should be questioning the anon asks we get on here, some of the asks contain some questionable info like how do you get that info. People get asks on here containing info, people don't go out & hunt all Vivienne's private life, we receive stuff thats how things come to light, OTHER PEOPLE SEND US STUFF.

All the background of the video is helluva boss/hazbin scenes coupled with music from respective shows. No evidence, not even heavily censored evidence to protect Vivienne, just Official_TVC talking & basically saying "trust me bro I did research, believe me". This is heinous accusations, individuals you are talking about & you give nothing. It could be lies for all people know, I don't even believe & I've seen the things you're referring to.

Continued, the stalkers, the 1st one is a "troll" according to Official_TVC & the second is supposedly so bad they were quote " has been 15 ft from vivziepop", no backing on that 15ft statement, Official_TVC just states this. All this stalking, entire pages made is because of a ship. Leaking show stuff (aside again, is GIVEN TO US VIA ANONYMOUS ASKS).

They carry on to say essentially all this hate talk on Viv on YT is cos she's popular, they got nothing of meaning to say on Viv cos they hate her so much they can't talk about her positively. They then mention a person has a never ending stream that just feeds misinformation other YouTubers & quote "on the precipice of wanting to strangle a woman (Viv) who made the crime of making demons gay". Wtf does that mean, who has this never ending stream of feeding misinformation to other YouTube, who & wtf are you talking about.

Anyway, goes on to compare spindlehorse workplace allegations to Amazon (yes ironic) & how Amazon treats its workers really bad... do I need to say more. Goes on to say everyone ragged on Viv because hazbin hotel is on Amazon, Amazon is bad & quote by Official_TVC is cos "everyone looks for an excuse to hate". Ok now I'm giving evidence on why people ragged on Viv for prime since you give jackshit.

Amazon/prime is currently being boycotted, its on the bds list why people were saying to pirate hazbin. Not some bullshit reason Official gave on it being mindless hate. Here is a video explaining why people are boycotting Amazon:

Vivienne also like this post from a fan, do I need to spell out how fucking disgusting this tweet is and the fact that she liked it.

Official carrys on to say stalker 1 did 3 things, doxxed Vivienne, & in their words if you go to said person's page Official states "im pretty sure they know where vivziepop lives". That is speculation, thats your opinion cos no evidence is provided or can be for that matter cos this is what YOU think. Dropping as Official says "nuggets" of info on Viv's siblings University, their work (this info was from a sibling's linked in page, public info). Can I say aside, I know her sibling's names. Why, not from stalking but from them leaving comments on Viv's speeddraws and Viv publicly naming them on her PUBLIC socials. And if you know someone's name you can easily find out what uni they went to, if you know my name & search me up you know what uni I go to its in the public on their linked in, social posts ect.

They go on to talk about how terrible leaking Viv's shows are, which idgaf. Amazon is a zionist corporation I'm pirating anything of Vivienne. Even invincible which I love, pirated it. Fans should too (since I see a lot of fans with free palastine in bio but still pay for prime). Anyway thats on them.

TW: talks of sexual harassment. So Official doesn't want to give more info on this individual which I respect & understand. However they say stalker 1 is sexually harrassing this person, sending content of a sexual nature all because the victim in this situation didn't agree with stalker 1 on the stalker's sentiments on hazbin hotel. I understand protecting the victim but my soul you're literally protecting the perpetrator. Expose them, you keep staying stalker 1 & 2 CALL THEM OUT. Protect the victims but expose the perpetrators.

They go on to stalker 2, who know stalker 1. Stalker 2 supposedly went to the hazbin premiere. They were there to keep an eye on vivziepop Official quotes. No evidence of this quote or info just them relaying it. Again this is all your words against what. Yeah that is concerning it really is but substantiate this evidence & quotes. This is the 1st time I'm hearing about this so I would like to know more on this & this heinous person. But you don't give any evidence. Official says " these people need to be stopped", how can they be stopped. You give no names, no info or evidence, its wishful thinking you saying this. I'm harping on and on on about Official gives no evidence but its so flipping frustrating hearing them spout all this WITH NOTHING to back their words.

TW again: Mentions of suicide and Shay a fan bullied by the fandom who then took their own life. Know a lot of people are still saddened by what led to Shay's passing why I mention this.

Official says stalker 1 is using the death of Shay to entice fruther harrassed on Vivienne. Its "apparently now", huskerdust fans went after Shay with heinous harassment & Shay subsequently ended their life, may they rest in peace. Official claims stalker 1 says Vivziepop is directly responsible for Shay's death. Shay's death was worded as "apparently" but stalker 1 using Shay's death to pin it on Vivziepop is stated as a fact. How disgusting can you be someone died & its apparently so to you but your word of mouth should be considered fact, fuck off. Official then goes on to say... sighs quote "we do not hold politicians accountable when they massacre people of other countries... bloodlines don't exist but we don't blame the politicians pushing the buttons".

Ok wtf, yes we do we blame Biden & other politicians & presidents for pushing the figurative & literally buttons on massacring Palestinians & other minorities, WE DO so wtf are you talking about. I honestly hate Official at this point because wtf are they saying. I don't blame vivziepop on Shay's death, even though when there was attempts to reach Vivienne on what was happening to Shay, maybe the channels they used like email didn't get the message across unfortunately. What I absolutely hate is when fans, like official now use Shay's death as a pawn in relation to people hating on Viv. No one that I've see & I'm saying it now I know who these stalker 1 & 2 are not even they were as disgusting as Official & fans to use Shay's death as to further hate on Vivienne. What Official_TVC is saying is bullshit.

And I disregard everything Official_TVC says after they hearted this comment, fuck you Official_TVC for hearting this vile comment.

I link a screenshot of the outreach to Vivienne via email on Shay aswell as the document on Shay's.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vSfCoyn81fp83pycx5eyS4oxryRpFnVnHdEeyEyouigrKSWAZ5iEgTjt7Q63n68S_PcZK7_klB-9dH1/pub

In all this video is a load of nothing, bullshit actually & just vile on the parts of Shay. They ended of once again reiterating they won't give proof because people just want names & evidence for the tea/gossip & they want to protect Vivienne, shoo shoo. Again trust me bro, I did the research so trust me.

I want to reiterate I condone no actions if provided true on stalker 1 or 2. But from what I've seen of them is all out of context, lies spread by the fandom & things just made up down the grapevine. I don't do this for likes, clout or other bullshit the fandom says. Wouldn't be of me on my nature and the work that I do. Come with substantial evidence, then we discuss & make conclusions but for now

...

I hate Vivienne and this fandom, bye all.

[grison-in-space]

Hi! Just wanted to say, re:veganism discourse: Excellent Opinions, Great Delivery, Immaculate Vibes 👍 have a great day :)

cheers, ty! it is honestly sort of surprising to me that folks are reading along--as I said to someone else in DMs, I kind of figured that response was mostly something I was putting together in my own head, so I'm pleasantly surprised it's resonating with other people.

I am also just. :| not thrilled to have to be typing up all these "and here's how caring about animal welfare can radicalize you down all these shitty pathways if you add X and Y and Z" because at the end of the day I do think all species are worthy of basic respect; at the end of the day I do think there's nothing fundamentally better about me as a human than any other species. At the end of the day it actually matters a lot to me that my research mice are kept with as much enrichment as I can give them and that their lives and bodies and effort are honored and used wisely. It matters to me that the dogs I teach and the people I teach to train their dogs are learning with minimum stress and maximal confidence. These are all really important planks of my personal code of ethics!

It sucks to feel like I need to sit down and enumerate all the reasons that I think this other perspective of people who start in the same place I do--animals are neat individuals who encompass both the alien and the familiar, which share our lives in a multitude of ways--has developed in such a way that I think it encourages a really toxic way of relating both to animals and ourselves. In general I prefer to focus on places where I can agree with other folks, even if their opinions are different from mine. Someone in the notes brought up "struggle sessions," which are kind of the epitome of toxicity within the left: good values and a desire to help one another get so channeled through perfectionism and backbiting that you wind up with people gathering to literally torture and destroy each other. (Not just in China, either; it keeps happening, cf. Synanon in the US and the dissolution of the Japanese United Red Army.) That's not the kind of way I want to interact with people I'm supposed to be working together with.

So I try not to do that shit too much. I think about the places where people who have values just like mine go down rabbit holes and wind up in bad places, and I try and build barriers so I don't get burned out and angry and dissolve in a puff of flame. (I'm not directly engaging further with this anon for that reason, actually.) But just--aaaaaaaaauuuughhh, ARAs really irritate me because I can see where the roots are, and yet the entire ideology means that there essentially can't be listening. You can see that in the way I'm sitting here going "No, I know what your ideas are, here's why I have rejected them," and still I am getting exhortations to just listen and understand about ARA ideology. No. I did that, the last time there were protests about it in my workplace I went ahead and read the actual detailed IACUC reports released by FOIA that the protestors were shouting about, and bluntly it was a) not convincing and b) exactly the same appeals to emotional knee-jerk reactions and emotional flooding that I decried yesterday. Twenty years I have been checking my responses to these people, and it's never anything different.

I don't think that removing emotion totally from ethics and morals is wise or even possible--we use emotion for decisionmaking and encoding our values, after all, a person without emotion literally cannot decide things--but I do not like or tolerate subcultures that won't leave space to sit, think, and let the first knee-jerk rush of gut response die down. Sometimes, often, I do decide that my gut reaction is right! But I need the space to sit the fuck down and think about it, and if you take that to an ARA space you will mostly get flooded with more emotionally reactive imagery until you agree or leave. And that is coercive.

[kingofbodyrolls]

BTS fic recs: 2021

I want to thank each and every writer on this list for creating such wonderful stories and art - you are truly amazing ✨ All the fics on this list hold a dear place in my heart 🥹

If you read anything on this list and you like it, please leave a comment to the writer or reblog the original fics post 💜

Also, most of these fics are smutty as hell, so minors dni.

BTS fic rec index 💜

Emoji meaning → angst = 🌩️, smut = 🥵, fluff = 🥰, comedy = 😂, personal favorites = 💯. 

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

💜Yoongi💜

⭐The Landlord 💯 by @ppersonna

// myg x f.reader // landlord!yoongi // 🥵😂

📝 your air conditioner breaks right at the height of a recordbreaking heat wave.  good thing your hot landlord, Yoongi, knows how to attend to any needs you may have.

🗨️ HOT HOT HOT, fucking FIRE 🔥🔥🥵

💜Jimin💜

⭐No Strings [completed series] 💯 by @kpopfanfictrash

// pjm x f.reader // f2l // 🥵

📝 It started off as such a simple question. How to know if you’re bad in bed? Of course when you asked, you didn’t imagine Jimin would actually answer.

⭐Him After All by @mercurygguk

// pjm x f.reader // s2l // 🥵🥰🌩️

📝 A guy you’ve never met before scoops in and saves you from a very embarrassing situation and you can’t help but notice how cute he is.

⭐Cherry Flavored 💯 by @ppersonna

// pjm x f.reader // office!au // 🥵🥰😂

📝 When a secret admirer begins to leave messages and treats on your desk at work, your mind runs wild with 'who-dun-it’s. you’ll stop at nothing to determine the identity.

🗨️ This is just utterly sweet! 🥰

⭐Physical 💯 by @ppersonna

// pjm x f.reader // fitness instructor!jimin // 🥵🥰😂

📝 You can't seem to escape the sexy fitness instructor that seemingly is everywhere you turn. it’s enough to make you irrational.

⭐Unicorn Ride 💯 by @missgeniality

// pjm x f.reader // s2? // 🥵

📝 Hunting men down at a club is inviting disappointment with open arms. But tonight, your body has been twisted, turned and bent on every possible surface, and you might be willing to reconsider. 

🗨️ I need to take a shower now ‘kay byeeeee 🥵 The dialogue, the writing, WORDS, smut �� I… I’m slightly speechless. THIS IS FUCKING GOLD! If you don’t read this gem of a fic, I don’t know what you are doing with your life but then you are missing out.

⭐Chem Miss by @kpopfanfictrash

// pjm x f.reader // university!au, TA!jimin // 🥵

📝 “You’re my TA. I’m in your class. I’m sure you don’t want to spend your Saturday night talking to me about biochem.”

💜Jungkook💜

⭐Oh My God, They Were (Quarantined) Roommates 💯 by @ot7always

// jjk x f.reader // college!au, roommates!au // 🥰🥵

📝 What do you do when you’re quarantined for months on end with Jeon Jungkook - S tier cuddler, workout robot, and thirst trap extraordinaire? Fuck him, you guess.

⭐Mind in the Gutter by @kpopfanfictrash

// jjk x f.reader // bowling!au, workplace!au, romcom, s2l  // 🥵😂

📝 Starting over is never fun. Especially not when you decide to take the phrase fully to heart; new job, new city, new coworkers and new relationships. When you are dragged to a happy hour by your new co-worker, Taehyung, you end up sitting beside a (very) cute, (very) shy IT worker named Jungkook. Several drinks later, he mentions he is in a professional bowling league with his friends and you rather enthusiastically invite yourself along. As time passes and you begin to grow closer, you still find it impossible to read Jungkook. Working in the same company and seeing each other so often, it is only so long before one of you snaps. But who?

⭐Banana Milk by @kimnjss

// jjk x f.reader // s2l // 🥵

📝 Sent to the grocery store in the middle of the day, you’d never believe who you ran into in the milk aisle. 

⭐A Date with Destiny by @missgeniality

// jjk x f.reader // idol!au, s2l // 🥵🥰😂

📝 You are a boss lady in the tech industry traveling to world for work. He is a chart-topping artist touring the globe to perform in front of millions of fans. In the cosmos of life, you are not likely to cross paths. Luckily, fate has a different plan for you two.

⭐McD*ckin 💯 by @jinned

// jjk x f.reader // slice of life, fast food worker!jk, customer!reader, s2l // 🥵😂

📝 “So, if I’m so predictable,” you tease, running your finger along his clothed chest, “what am I going to do next?”

🗨️ I’d like to order a McChicken please 🙋🏾‍♀️🥵💦 this was funny, and actually made me laugh like a freak at some points 🤣 also the second hand embarrassment 😳🙈 It really cheered me up. I really liked the ordering menu when reader arrived 🙈🤭 also the ending, which was unexpected for me, but I quite liked it because it wasn’t “super happy and lovey dovey” like most of the stories I read, but still open 😊

⭐Caught Me 💯 by @jeongi

// jjk x f.reader // roommate!au, e2l // 🥵😂

📝 You hate your temporary roommate, jungkook and it doesn’t help that he’s been catching you at the most inconvenient of times.

🗨️ This is a fucking MASTERPIECE 💖 I love the banter and comedy, how JK gets on readers nerves 😂 I love absolutely every fucking thing about this and don’t get me started on the smut 🔥🔥 🔥

⭐Anpanman 💯 by @honeymoonjin

// jjk x f.reader // bf2l // 🥵😂🥰

📝 Your best friend jungkook finally convinces you to seek therapy for your failing mental health. the only catch? the one therapist that’s within your price range is an alternative marriage counsellor, jung hoseok, and the only way jungkook managed to get you an appointment was by saying the two of you were married. will couples counselling actually be useful for your wellbeing, or will something that runs much deeper rise to the surface instead?

⭐By its Cover by @gimmesumsuga

// jjk x f.reader // 🥵

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

AN: I am posting this in august 2023, but dating the post back to some time in 2021 😆

Borahae 💜

[anyon-else]

— icks w/ toji fushiguro, gojo satoru, geto suguru, & sukuna ryomen – main masterlist

TOJI FUSHIGURO | i bet ya'll can guess. it's the fucking worm.

you recognize that he needs the thing in order to fight, and that it is very useful in terms of combat, so you don't have the heart to tell him how much it freaks you out.

he legitimately treats it like a child. whenever you ask why he has to be so gentle with it, he tells you that he has to keep it in top condition so that it can store as many weapons as possible, but he feeds it. he gives it baths. he lets it sleep on a little dog bed that he bought at pet smart. you felt that maybe he was going a little bit overboard.

you've also caught him talking to it. it just really gives you the creeps.

he was so offended when you voiced your disgust with it. like, he held it up and told you that you made it feel bad, then demanded that you apologize.

"are you serious?"

toji just stared at you, one eyebrow raised as he held his worm out in front of him. it was staring at you with those beady eyes, and you couldn't help but crinkle your nose. no matter how many times toji bathed it, it still smelled.

"what's with the face?"

"i'm sorry! it's just so ugly..."

"it? seriously? he's a him."

"good lord, toji."

GOJO SATORU | he's always late. he makes it his whole personality.

he likes to make an entrance, which means that he has to enter every room alone. since many people show up early to events, and even arrives on time, showing up late is his only option.

while that's all fine and dandy for him, when you are each other's respective dates for events either at the school or at your workplace, it becomes your problem as well.

one time, he really wanted to impress his students at a party that he decided to put together at the school, so he made you wait outside so he could enter alone.

"no, you won't have to go in alone! i'll go, then i'll come back out and we'll go in together."

sometimes he shows up late to fights. if he knows who or what he's fighting, he'll make sure he knows if it's a special grade. if it is, he claims that lateness will make him look cooler and more intimidating. this has led to many problems and many stern lectures from nanami.

the one thing he doesn't show up late to is date night. he says that you already know how cool he is, so there's no need.

GETO SUGURU | when he eats curses.

on an objective level you understand. it's a necessary part of his technique, but the way that he decides to do it is so theatrical. you always have to turn away if he starts doing it in front of you, and then he gets all pouty.

you try to tell him that it's not because of him; it's just the idea of it that freaks you out, but he's not having it. you get the silent treatment for a little bit, and then the cycle repeats.

he starts doing it in front of you on purpose. like, he hoards those little curse balls, and then when you two have dinner, he'll be like "oh, i'm covered for tonight" and literally dumps like eight of them on his plate and gives you this smug little grin.

you try and act like it doesn't bother you, but then he sticks a fork in one and sticks his tongue out, making sure to accompany the movements with a loud "ahhh," followed by a satisfied "mmm" when he's swallowed it. this continues for all eight of the curses, and by the sixth one you've scarfed down your food and excused yourself from the table.

your last straw was when he asked you to feed them to him.

SUKUNA RYOMEN | his god complex.

lets start by saying that this man would never be in a relationship. not a healthy one, at least. but for fanfic's sake, let's go a bit ooc.

he slowly but surely becomes used to the healthier aspects of being in a relationship, but he's also still the king of curses. sometimes, when he's annoyed with you, he says things like "one thousand years ago, i'd have crushed you under my thumb for saying those things" and "i can't believe i'm being told to 'get over myself' by a measly human"

with anyone else, it would be extremely concerning. however, you were the one who chose an evil, immortal curse.

you still tell him off, though. it can be really annoying when he gets all high and mighty. because while he is, he doesn't have to act like it all the time.

this complex also means that he can become very possessive. unhealthily so. if any other person even looks in your direction, he's about three seconds from wiping them from existence. while he is very secure in his relationship, and knows that you would never leave him (he knows what he looks like), he also knows that he has the power to do whatever he wants, so killing a few people who give you sideways glances won't hurt anyone. well, mostly.

you try to get him to calm down, but after a while it seems hopeless to even try. again, you knew what you were getting into.

[skayafair]

Scared Vi

The thing I was finally able to put into a thought and into words after staring at gifs for 2 hours straight: throughout all the post-timeskip Arcane Vi is fucking scared of everything that's going on around her. AND she's on the brink of losing it pretty often. I need to rewatch (no idea when I'll be brave enough to ride this rollercoaster again) but I didn't notice it while watching, because, WELL, there was already TOO MUCH to take in, so some more subtle details escaped me. I've caught that Vi is very vulnerable in her honesty, openness and straightforwardness, but that wasn't all to it, and it bothered me! Because all three don't ooze the vulnerability 24/7 and that's what Vi looks like to me nearly all the time!

So I was wondering.

And here's the answer. She's been suddenly released out of her cell into the world that is now completely unknown to her. Yes the air of freedom is great, and she enjoys it, but at the same time there's always this frightened undertone.

She's constantly on the edge.

Not in the least because when things that used to be familiar, like your home, ones you used to know like the back of your hand, change but not completely, it's the worst trap of all, the most confusing and anxiety inducing. How much of what you remember is still the same? How much changed? Can you trust its exterior even if it looks the same? Or would it betray you in the worst possible moment? How do new things work? How do they work WITH the old things? I've experienced it once coming back to my former workplace that changed quite a lot but no one bothered to fill me in so I was piecing together the information for a YEAR. And I might not be the brightest but I'm not dumb either. I'm pretty good with systems. It was BAD.

So I can't imagine how much worse and disoriented Vi must have felt. And Caitlyn took her out of jail to SHOW HER AROUND. Having no idea how the world Vi used to know so well changed just in several years. So she's on a look out all the time. And her eyes, her expression betrays her put up exterior of confidence and maybe even arrogance, leaking this anxiety and straight up fear almost all the time.

She looks like a frightened, lost little girl. And when she doesn't, she looks like a desperate teenage girl who tries to punch her way out of every problem because she's backed into a corner and that's the only way she knows, even if it never helps. (No seriously, the only time it helped was against Silco's thugs and EVEN THEN they weren't completely dealt with and kept causing problems straight up to the bridge fighting scene. Vi's fists kept her alive and safer but they never SOLVED anything.)  

I think the way she looks just SCREAMS fear and anxiety when she and Powder/Jinx fight back to back after the torch scene. Jinx looks like she's completely in her element, she knows these guys, she's been in situations like this time after time. It's habitual. She's very confident and almost careless there, moves freely, she knows what she's doing. She might even enjoy it. Vi, on the opposite... Vi, who's all about loose body language, free movement and such - nearly curls up into a ball against Jinx's back, keeping her fists and elbows close to herself. Vi NEVER looked like this again, I think. I... believe she was the most thrown off kilter back then. She finally found her most treasured and the only remaining piece of her past - her sister, and sure, lil Powpow changed, she had to survive, but she's still Vi's little sister!

Right?..

Wrong. Powder-Jinx back then is the quintessence of the trap Zaun is to Vi now: familiar pieces are all there, they're recognizable even if a bit changed, but you never know what lurks under the surface.

And gods does Jinx just demolish every last bit of the ground Vi was standing on. It's not even when Jinx goes full on unhinged, it's when she simply starts blasting bullets all around. When she fights and she's confident in what she does. Vi doesn't know this girl. Vi doesn't know this gang flying around. I bet she doesn't even know this TECHNOLOGY because the world made a whole leap technologically while she was stuck in her cell isolated from pretty much everything. It's like a literal time skip for her. And she doesn't know what to trust, so she can't trust anything no matter how much she wants to. And she HAS to want it, because she looked genuinely hopeful fresh out of Stillwater. Before she saw what her home turned into. Silco really did bring the monster out of it, not just himself or Jinx or shimmer junkies. The whole city. So Vi looks small, and frightened, and I think she's even panicking back in that scene.

She's ready to snap at any moment.

It's very interesting to me, because she looks tough and very mentally healthy on the surface but boooy are there mountains hidden underneath.

Vi does snap, actually. Several times. Her voice cracks as she's trying to convince Ekko she's THE Vi, same she used to be. She charges at Sevika TWICE. I think second time was much worse btw. She literally downs a drink IN THE MIDDLE OF A FIGHT - I don't think it was out of mental stability. And, well, the cry in the end. She won, and it helped nothing again. Even her mental state. Another fragile moment with Vi is the way she looks around her sister. Vi is confident and action-charged by nature, she's energetic and isn't shy to take up space. So she never looks small... except when she's around Jinx. She's drowning in guilt, and this guilt is spilling out.

Interestingly enough, scenes when Vi DOESN'T have this scared/guilty/anxious/desperate look is around Cait. She's either playful, or actually confident, or even RELAXED. Which is... wow, all things considered. Part of it is a put up facade, of course, but only in the beginning. The ship sails itself huh...

A lot of people pointed out Caitlyn is about future in Vi's life centered around the past, but I think what's more important is that Cait is about the present. Plus, she's a familiar - an enforcer, a topside - turned unfamiliar in a GOOD way.

Gods once again I'm baffled at the level Arcane is thought through. These are subtle, small details, expressions that aren't exposed or accentuated like many other ones. They are underlying, but once you notice them it's a whole new tapestry unfolding right before your eyes.

As you can see, I'm very normal about Arcane and Vi in particular, yup, totally cool 😌👌✨

[necronatural]

when you eventually look at the new 000 gregor ID i would love to know how he slots into the rest of the clockroach dynamic, if he even slots in at all

I didnt get him after 58 pulls but his voicelines are up on the wiki so what can you do.

- I think Dante actually has a problem with this one. TH!Gregor is like oh ho hum about it since they work together fine but when he finds out Dante is not only workplace romancing The Gregiverse but one of the Gregs they are okay with is a serial killer cannibal he's like Hold On.... Hey?

-He goes out of his way to be powerful and alluring and charming and suave and all that and Dante just goes .... :/ at him. He is like oh so you don't want me Confident. And Happy. And has it pointed out with him that the most confident and happy Gregor (Zwei) has Dante absolutely sauced but that only makes him more mad

-Twinhooks Gregor has enjoyed the absolute highest level of protection from all conflict through Hook and the Middle and has depended on that coddling for a while so he doesn't actually have conflict resolution skills & he's a little threatened by his burgeoning need to beg for it

-All Twinhook Gregor does is steal cheat and lie and so he opts to pretend to NOT be strong and independent (WHICH HE IS) since Dante wants to be the boss. Begging is ok if its fake. Dante breaks, just as planned, but tragically Gregor surrounds himself with underlings and guardians because he craves coddling and thus being dommed Awakens things within him.

-Most whipped Gregor next to G-Corp. Smug about it though like "ohh sorry but I got people who won't allow me to die 😏". Really lays it on thick schmoozing with Dante, overtly romantic, competitive with Outis for brown-nosing and wants to be The Favourite

-New, unique dynamic of We Have To Kill Them

-Dante acts pretty neutrally with him in public which really distills the comedy I think. This too is a form of domination

-Semi-related he's pretty vocally annoyed they have a Colour Fixer who just hangs out and makes sure Dante's head doesn't need to explode and does nothing else. What is the point of a powerful person being around if it isn't in service of anything <- his existential worldview at this point <- He gets along with the Middle exceptionally well as you might imagine

There is very little room for Dante within the world of U Corp IDs... Here is my most beautiful worlds

-Dante is trying to pay off a guest and has the baffling ability to make money that has delayed the process by months and the hostage is like. Genuinely just a guest at this point because it's taken as a given that Dante will be able to meet the next threshold Somehow. The dynamic has stretched out long enough that basically everyone views it as paying rent to live on the port. Everyone knows Gregor is smitten but he won't admit it he just Hovers. Meaningfully. Looking so Dashing. One time he says he'll forgive the debt if Dante joins the pirates and Dante goes Uhm. No. And it gets under his skin so bad he can't work up the guts to ask them out to casual platonic dinner

-Dante is a whaler and notoriously helps tourists navigate the port streets without getting hostage kidnapped and gives paypigs jobs on their boat once they run out of cash. This is actually a small profit cycle so Hook has never minded it. Gregor starts allowing the paypigs to meet with the guests more often as an excuse to make Dante hang out with him and Talk Shop (putting them in charge of more boats with more people who can't afford to save their guests so Dante will have to spend more time with him). Dante isn't comfortable with being friendly with the Twinhook Pirates so doesn't let it escelate. Again, Gregor has to separate his status from his relationships and beg for it. It drives him crazy that Dante doesn't take advantage of this. Getting them to stop neutrally dismissing his overtures feels like he earned fucking deliverance

[allsadnshit]

For the first time I had a dream about opening up a coffee spot. Usually when I dream about work it's an anxiety dream about coming in late or nothing working right at the shop, but last night I slept really deep and hard and even woke up later than I have in a while despite going to sleep on time! And in my dream I found out a coffee place was essentially selling its space and equipment and I decided fuck it im gonna redo this place as my own and when I got there a lot of my old coffee co workers and boss were in there either as customers or trying to run it and I got into a conflict with one of the worst bosses I had where I was insisting the espresso machine was a bad model and pulling really shit shots and he was screaming at me to just use it and that it was fine when it wasn't and I was pushing him off bar to make drinks

It was really still an anxiety dream but I've never dreamt and had myself sticking up for myself like that usually it sort of all just goes with the flow of what the other characters are doing and saying and this was the first time I can remember actually fighting with people and insisting I knew what I was doing and that they needed to take a step back because I was in charge

I've worked in coffee like 12 years at this point but stopped ever thinking I could own my own shop a long time ago because there's so much about coffee culture that bothers me and I hate it as a workplace in a lot of ways because it's so hard on me as a chronically ill not able bodied person but I've had this feeling whispering in my heart that the only thing really stopping me from doing my own this is my belief everyone else has their shit together more than me and that I can't reinvent what a shop would look and work like

I woke up feeling so strange now like even though the dream came from my sub conscious I still feel surprised I dreamt something I was thinking of so quietly in the back of my mind unready to even really voice it to anyone around me

I feel the imposter syndrome is finally starting to shed after a really hard last 5 years. Like I am ready to admit I know what I'm doing and I'm better at it even than most people in this industry.....

[mcalhenwrites]

Some personal stuff below.

This trip... I knew it wouldn't be great. I wasn't looking forward to seeing my parents, I just missed my dog so much. I thought it would be nice to go to a couple of familiar places as well, like a wildlife exhibit and a couple of parks, before I left. Unfortunately, my dad had no problems jumping in and telling me to "shut up" or shushing me for no reason. Degrading me in front of people whenever he had the chance to boast about it. Misgendering and deadnaming me constantly. He even uses my dead name to EXCESS just to use it. He made me cry once. He has lied countless times. He gaslit my mom (only to slip up and admit that he was given the information she was making up by the same person by saying, "Oh well he didn't go with that bc [reason].") So tomorrow morning is likely the last time I ever see my dog in person. I came back and he had gained weight - which in his case is extremely bad for his back legs - due to barely ever getting walks. He had long nails, and I couldn't get an appointment until Saturday so I gave my mom the money and made the appointment. She keeps saying she doesn't need money for him. It doesn't help that my parents are extremely weird and uneducated so my only way to give them money is sending cash or checks via snail mail. And he needed badly groomed, my mom has mostly kept up with this but his back legs were in dire need of attention. I did what I could. Trimmed the parts that are rough from having to be shaved from hot spots - yes I know you don't shave a doublecoated dog but the VETS did it for a medical reason - and around his butt. Got his mats cut or combed out. He's a big fluffy guy now. But what happens down the road? I can't take him. I have worked myself to full capacity so much, and I can't get myself out of this trap. I'm not good enough to sell many books or earn patrons. So I'm stuck. I let myself have a little bit of money to buy some of my own things so my roommate doesn't cover them and give myself a few small treats here and there so I don't go mad. But most of my pay goes to saving for a car so I can keep my job, since I'm getting rides from three different people, and my roommate (one of my rides) owns an electric car that barely makes it to both our workplaces. Its battery drains faster in cold weather. I have a time limit before I might have to quit my job. (Again, I work two towns over and live in the country.) I'm so sad I don't have a house. I'm so sad I don't have a yard for my dog. I'm so sad I don't have income above $700/month. I don't know what to do. Sell books? I thought I'd work on writing during the time I visited, but this house is in poor condition, and it smells badly of mold, and I think that's flaring my fibro. I'm in so much pain, I started having pain in my heels again when that went away about four weeks after I moved out of state and never came back again. Until now. :/ I'm not sure what to do. I'm a failure. That's clearer every fucking day. I understand we are often powerless to change our situations, but... mine feels like it's my fault. I shouldn't have gotten a dog 10 years ago. It's not like I'm dealing with something beyond my control... I cause more bad than good in this world, that's how it feels. Edit: I will be very glad to return home, that's for sure.