#my whole morning wasted waiting for confirmation of plans

[toziers]

friend said they’d be home by 1pm for us to hang out but they still havent replied to my text last night asking what kind of milkshake i should bring and now im just sitting at the milkshake place 20 minutes after they said to be at their HOUSE and im like 🤡

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

Yandere Male Monster Musume: Feeding The Beasts Pt. II

“Today is my day!!!!”

A collective groan came from everyone who clutched their pillows as they stuffed their faces in hopes of silencing the harpy’s cheers. Since before the sun had risen Pypi was especially vocal about it being his day. Shouting it from the top of his lungs as he triumphantly shouted into his monster roommate's ears while you groggily left Milo’s room for Pypi’s. 

As per the schedule—your newest attempt at combatting their violent battles for your attention—it really was Pypi’s day for you to spend rime with. You let his early excited fluttering about your renovated home continue as you slept in for as long as you could…before Pypi came to shoot you awake. 

“Come on, (Y/n)! Are you going to waste my day sleeping!?”

You groaned, pulling the covers up to hide yourself from Pypi. Nuzzling into the softness of Pypi’s bed when the harpy pulled away to pout quickly switching to a face of pure happiness. 

“Unless (Y/n) would rather spend the whole day sleeping together? I’d love to do that!”

“Ah-okay! I’m up, I’m up!” 

“Awww.”

Carrying out your morning routines side by side you two ended up in the living room to stand in silence. When you confirmed that it was Milo’s day he rushed off immediately with a plan for what he wanted to do, you were waiting for that same thing. But it didn’t seem it’d be the same with Pypi.

“...”

“...”

“...So uh Pypi what do you want to do?”

“Hmmmm I don’t know!”

“You don’t know?”

“Nope!”

“Well didn’t you have a plan for when we spent time together?”

He pouted as he crossed his wings, “Well I did suggest we stay in bed and–”

“WE ARE NOT DOING THAT!”

“Well…I don’t know what else we can do.”

“You don’t?”

“Nuh-uh.”

“Okay then how about–”

_____________________________________________

“This–is–the—best—time—-in—my–-life!”

“It—is—right?”

Thankfully the great thing about the harpy-monster type was that being childish ran through his veins. Thus jumping on the bed like absolute hooligans works perfectly well as an activity together that didn’t include…something that will get you arrested. But like a child his attention was short.

“I’m bored now.”

“Huff~A-already but we—were having such fun!”

“It’d be more fun if we took off our clothes!”

“Aaaalright on to the next activity! Ever tried checkers?”

_______________________________________________

Board games and pieces sprawled across the floor before your exhausted for, while Pypi played solo with a game console on the couch. You only looked up after you hear the halted clacking of hooves that only spoke of Centoreo coming near. 

“Master (Y/n)? Are you alright, you look exhausted although I’m certain you should have gotten to sleep in today?”

You groaned, “It never stops. His energy…and I can hardly keep his attention from doing anything other than the—’s’ word we shall not speak of.”

Centoreo nodded in understanding, flashing a tentative cerulean gaze to the harpy grossly absorbed in the game. 

“Right…but it seems you’re mostly unscathed. Which is more than can be said with a certain wormlike resident.” He whispered the last part with a shudder as you stifled a chuckle. 

“That is true…but I have the sneaking suspicion he’s up to something…I just don’t know–”

“What it is? Well it better not be sex!” 

“S-smith?!” “Y-you!?”

The agent leaned on you obnoxiously forcing you to unsuccessdully push him off as he talked.

“Yup so what’s for dinner darling? Since you’re all tuckered out from not-having-sex are you doing take out?”

“For your information–”

Suddenly a gust of fierce winds assaulted your face and Smith’s, causing you both to look up at the perpetrator. Centoreo was reaching for the phony sword he kept at his side but even he was late to draw before the harpy.

“NOT FAIR! NOT FAIR! (Y/N) IS MINE! ALL MINE SO DON’T BOTHER US!”

Before you realized it the window had broken and you were so far off the ground the lights of your suburbia were simple flickers. Despite the talonned grip on your shoulder you felt more comfortable holding tight. You tried to speak to the one in charge of your flight but the wind whipping in your face wasn’t helping in the slightest so you swallowed your questions as Pypi flew further into the night. 

_________________________________________________

“N-no this isn’t the right place! Stupid! Stupid!”

Pypi’s squealing falling upon no one but your own as you clinged to him on the peak of a sky scraper in the city. He was mad at himself. Banging the tip of his wings into his head as he fought tears.

“W-why i-is this the wrong place? I-it’s beautiful up here, isn’t it?”

You clinged to him more than aware of the dangerous situation his bird brain posed once again. Having apparently forgotten that he needed to support your weight while you had your arms wrapped around his neck. It surprised you how sturdy he was being able to withstand your own weight before he properly held you against him, cradling your bottom with his wingspan. 

He sniffled into your neck,”I-i keep forgetting—to bring you to the place I meant to! And its all cause I’m such a–”

“H-hey no need to beat yourself up! You’ll remember…eventually?”

You tried to pull your best main character pick-me-up tone as you as quickly as you could bare to pat his back. That seemed to do the trick as he squeezed you tightly against his chest as he looked out at the city from behind your back.

“Y-yeah a-and at least I get to spend my day with you!” 

“Y-yeah now can we please go home I-I’m sure everyone is hungry.”

“Well hopefully they can all die on Milo’s cooking while we eat out!” 

“Pypi!”

“Fine. I know you didn’t bring your wallet so that plan was bogus anyway!” 

“Uggh!”

 You hated how much you agreed with him but at the very least you got some insight. No doubt this wasn’t the same type of fulfillment Milo was seeking but it seemed to work on nonetheless…kinda....

Next was Centoreo, but you don’t have to worry he’s guaranteed to be a breeze. More so than Pypi could ever pretend to be.

[i-am-bitterly-jittery]

If Love Is A Game, I’m Going To Win

Word count: 3652

Rating: gen

Pairings: Prinxiety, Logicality

Warnings: if you’re looking for some fluffy Prinxiety endgame this is not it my dudes, self-discovery, minor swearing, crying, angst

Aromantic!Roman agenda 💚💚🤍🩶🖤

~~~START~~~

It started on a normal day. Roman spent the morning writing ideas in his Hopes and Dreams journal for more videos Thomas could create, then he spent the afternoon adventuring in the Imagination. Where it got weird was when he headed down to the common room to have dinner.

Logan and Patton were kissing in the kitchen. Logan and Patton were kissing. Roman didn’t know that kissing was a thing that they — as different facets of Thomas’s personality — were allowed to do.

“Oops, sorry did you need something, kiddo?” Patton asked once he noticed Roman standing in the doorway gawking at them.

“You two were kissing,” Roman observed dumbly.

“Yes,” Logan confirmed, straightening his glasses and entering teacher-mode. “That is an act that two romantic partners commonly engage in.”

“We’re allowed to have romantic partners!?” Oh, wasn’t this day getting better and better? Roman loved romance but he hadn’t realized that he was allowed to participate in it!

“Sure, kiddo, why wouldn’t we be?” Patton giggled, cuddling up to Logan. They were adorable and if Roman wasn’t so focused on his new revelations, he would have probably jumped right in to demanding to know everything about how they got together.

“I don’t know, I guess I just never thought about it before. Romantic partners,” Roman mused to himself as he sunk out, meal forgotten.

Romantic partners. Oh boy did Roman need a romantic partner by yesterday. Why hadn’t he thought of this sooner!

Romantic partners!

Logan and Patton were obviously out since they were already spoken for.

Remus was a hard-pass-not-in-a-million-years-Roman-would-rather-duck-out-than-date-him no.

Janus was… there was a time when Roman greatly enjoyed the way Janus stroked his ego. That was before Roman realized that it was all just lies to further Janus’s own agenda. So Janus was out.

That left Virgil.

Virgil would be perfect! He was the introvert to Roman’s extrovert. The emo to his prep. The pessimist to his optimist. Plus, they would have this whole enemies-to-friends-to-lovers vibe that made Roman giddy.

Yeah, Virgil was perfect.

Now all Roman had to do was ask him out.

A public display of affection was the obvious route to take, but Roman didn’t think that Virgil would appreciate that very much. Still, a musical serenade would be best. Plus flowers. And chocolate. Oh, and balloons. And confetti!

Roman grabbed his Hopes and Dreams journal and began writing down all his ideas. By the end of the hour, he had almost the entire thing planned out, all he had to do now was set it up and do it.

The actual event had to be pushed back a couple days due to Thomas’s filming schedule, but less than a week after Roman had first seen Patton and Logan kissing, it was time. He knocked on Virgil’s door bright and early in the morning, he had the whole day planned out and there wasn’t a moment to wait!

Except that Virgil didn’t answer the door. So Roman knocked again.

And again.

Finally, after a full five minutes, Virgil wrenched the door open.

“What– oh, hey Princey,” all the annoyance drained from Virgil's face when he spotted Roman. This was going to work. “Is something wrong?”

“Nothing wrong, my Nightmarish Nightingale–” that was a compliment, right? “I had just hoped that you would do me the honor of accompanying me on an adventure to the Imagination today!”

“I– now?” Virgil asked, somewhat reluctantly.

“Of course! I have the whole day planned out and there’s not a moment to waste!”

The hopefulness on Roman’s face was probably what melted the Winter Warlock’s heart because Virgil’s reluctance gave way to resignation.

“There better be food,” he warned, stepping completely out of his room.

“Of course! Anything your spooky heart desires!”

The first stop on their soon-to-be date was a charming little cafe that Roman had set up just outside his castle which was filled with Halloween themed cookies and pastries. After that, they went to the tailors for some new clothes (Roman may slay in his usual outfit, he needed to be absolutely stunning when he actually asked Virgil out, not to mention the fact that Virgil’s usual outfit was in no way appropriate for this soon-to-be incredibly romantic occasion). Then they went to the stables to get their horses for their ride through the countryside on their way to the lakeside picnic Roman had set up as his location to serenade the emo Side.

Virgil, it turned out, did not like horses, and horses, no matter how hard Roman tried, did not like Virgil.

“I am so sorry about that,” Roman apologized after Virgil’s horse finally succeeded in throwing him. He dismounted his own horse in order to help the other Side up and make sure he wasn’t too badly hurt by the fall. “I usually have more control over the animals than that, but there’s something about horses that sometimes gives Remus the edge.”

“It’s fine, Roman, seriously,” Virgil assured him as he tried desperately to brush the dirt from his new suit — a rich purple brocade with black threads woven into an intricate skull pattern. Roman waved a hand and all the dirt faded instantly. “Thanks. Can we just go back now?”

“No!” Roman all but screeched. “No, we’re almost there! I just– I have– please, Virgil?” Roman seized Virgil’s hand imploringly. “It’s just a little bit further, we can walk it in no time.”

Virgil looked down at their joined hands then back up at Roman’s face, his cheeks a little redder than before.

“Just a little further?” He asked reluctantly.

“Barely even five minutes, I swear on my sword.”

Sigh. “Okay. Let’s go.”

“Yay!” Roman pressed on to their destination, never letting go of Virgil’s hand.

He did mentally shorten the way to the lake — he had planned a much longer ride — so as to not break his promise, and they soon emerged into a clearing on the shores of a lake where a picnic was set up on the beach and a small rowboat sat ready at the end of a small dock.

“Oh wow,” Virgil marveled as he took in the scene.

Roman finally dropped Virgil’s hand in order to unpack the picnic basket for them. “Do you like it?”

“It’s beautiful,” Virgil complimented. Roman beamed.

The day was going perfectly other than the horse ride, and Roman couldn’t be happier.

…except that it didn’t quite feel the same way it did when Thomas was partaking in romantic activities. Obviously Roman knew that he wouldn’t feel exactly the same as Thomas did since he was a facet rather than a complex human being, but Roman didn’t even feel the same way that Roman felt during Thomas’s romantic escapades.

But all of that could be pushed to the side because that was Thomas and this was Roman, it was different. It made sense.

After their lunch Roman ushered Virgil onto the boat so that they could get to the next and most important step in Roman’s plan: the serenade. For this serenade Roman had chosen, obviously, I See The Light from Disney’s Tangled. Perfect song, perfect movie, perfect location. At no point did it occur to Roman to explicitly ask Virgil out, the song made it obvious, obviously.

On their walk back to town — which Roman had once again shortened but was still about ten minutes — Roman grabbed Virgil’s hand once more.

“I’m reading this situation correctly, right?” Virgil asked as he stared at the joined hands.

Roman was staring at their hands too. He had held hands with both Virgil and the others on numerous occasions, but this time it felt different. Like he could feel every millimeter on his hand where it was pressed against Virgil’s.

It didn’t feel particularly nice, it just felt overwhelming.

“I certainly hope so,” Roman chuckled as he tried to shake the uneasy feeling. “The rest of the day would be awkward otherwise.”

“You have more planned?” Virgil laughed incredulously.

“Of course! Grand romantic gestures are my specialty!”

Virgil shook his head, but he was smiling, so Roman thought he was enjoying himself. “Do I get to know any of these plans?”

“Most shall remain a surprise, my Melodramatic Melody, but I will tell you that I have fireworks planned for the grand finale, unless you find fireworks too distressing, in which case I could make them quieter, or could change course slightly if you’d prefer.”

“Quieter should work just fine,” Virgil assured him. “Especially if I know they’re coming.”

“As you wish,” Roman smiled as they entered town.

The rest of the day consisted of a leisurely stroll through the palace rose gardens, a private viewing of the Nightmare Before Christmas in the palace’s movie theater, and a romantic candlelit dinner in the Imagination’s finest restaurant. Finally, at the end of the day, a horseless carriage ride around town while muted fireworks lit up the sky in dazzling displays.

“It looks great, Roman,” Virgil commented as he watched the fireworks out the carriage window.

“Not as great as you,” Roman said, enjoying the way Virgil’s face blushed. There were a lot of elements of the day that hadn’t quite felt right, but he always enjoyed watching Virgil blush red under his white foundation.

Eventually, Roman noticed Virgil trying to stifle yawns and had the carriage take them back to the palace. From there they exited the Imagination, and Roman walked Virgil back to his room.

“I had a good time today, Princey,” Virgil smiled as they walked.

“Really?”

“Yeah. Um, if I could just ask one thing, next time you want to spend the entire day doing something, can you give me some heads up? Like, you don’t need to tell me what exactly, but maybe a general idea of what and how long?”

“That’s fair. I may have gotten a bit carried away; I was just so excited.”

“It’s all good. Thanks, Roman.”

Virgil had stopped in front of his door and turned to face Roman somewhat expectantly. It wasn’t until that moment that Roman remembered that goodnight kisses were practically a date staple. He hadn’t considered kissing before now, but faced with the expectation, he panicked slightly.

Instead, he did the first thing that came to mind: he grabbed Virgil’s hand and brought his knuckles to his mouth.

“Farewell and pleasant dreams my Sweet and Sour Lemon Drop!”

Virgil looked a little bemused, but not disappointed by the exchange. “Goodnight my, uh, Dazzling Prince.”

Roman beamed at the term of endearment before turning dramatically and making his way back to his own room. Once he was alone his smile dropped. Virgil had seemed to enjoy their date, but it hadn't quite felt right to Roman.

Clearly, he was doing something wrong.

Maybe he hadn’t been trying hard enough?

Whatever it was, Roman fell asleep lost in thought and his dreams were plagued by imperfect dates, social faux pas, and curses placed by dragonwitches.

Roman was just about ready to crawl out of his skin. It had been two weeks, but still Roman couldn’t shake the feeling that he was fucking up at every turn.

Nothing he did felt right. He and Virgil hung out in the living room, and Roman couldn’t stop wishing Virgil would get tired and leave. They went on dates in the Imagination, and he couldn’t stop wishing that he was on a quest alone.

Even when not in a date-setting, Roman was so hyper aware of where Virgil was that it was driving him batty. If Virgil so much as entered a room that Roman was already in, Roman would tense up until he’d either sat down away from Roman or left again. He was dating Virgil; he shouldn’t be feeling afraid of him!

It had to be some sort of curse!

Virgil, he was certain, had yet to notice Roman’s discomfort. Patton and Logan on the other hand…

“Alright there, kiddo?” Patton asked, having just witnessed Roman practically flinch when Virgil walked past him to the kitchen.

“I’m right as rain, padre!” Roman assured him, aiming for upbeat. Judging by the frown on Patton’s face, he’d missed the mark.

“Are you sure?”

“Now that you mention it, I am feeling a little tired,” Roman yawned, hoping for an easy escape. “I think I might go have myself a little cat nap.”

“Do you want to reschedule our date tonight?” Virgil asked, returning from the kitchen.

“I wouldn’t dream of it, mi amor!” Roman reassured him, kissing Virgil’s knuckles once more. He’d pull that move probably too many times in the past week, but luckily it was very in-character for him, and Virgil had yet to question it. “Just a little nap, and then two hours to do my makeup and I shall be ready to sweep you off your feet!”

He sank out after that in fear that if he stuck around any longer Patton might call him out in front of Virgil. He wasn’t actually tired though, so he instead spent his time making sure their date would be perfect.

Whatever Roman’s problem was, it was clear that he just wasn’t trying hard enough during his and Virgil’s dates, so tonight, under the moonlight, he would finally kiss his boyfriend, and like a fairytale, the curse would be broken, and everything would fall right into place.

It just needed to be perfect.

As he always did when they had a date in the Imagination, Roman picked Virgil up from his room and the two of them walked to the Imagination together. Their date would be a royal ball in Roman’s castle; Virgil was once again dressed in his brocade suit from their first date while Roman had picked out a stunning floor-length red gown with a plunging neckline and a train longer than Thomas was tall.

As they danced, Roman began to regret his choice of date. Virgil was pressed all the way up against him with one hand on his waist and the other in one of Roman’s — it was too much contact and it was making Roman jittery.

A thunderous crack echoed through the castle.

“What was that?” Virgil asked, looking around the ballroom for the source. There was nothing to be seen.

“Probably just Remus playing a game somewhere,” Roman suggested, mentally berating himself for his unexpected lapse in concentration. “Nothing to worry about, my Spooky Sweetheart!”

“If you’re sure.”

“I’m positive.”

The music started back up and the two continued their dance. Roman shifted his focus on his surroundings in an attempt to ignore the unpleasant buzzing Virgil’s touch caused beneath his skin.

All was going well until Virgil started to lean in.

His lips were barely an inch from Roman’s before the ground started shaking. A second, even louder crack tore through the ballroom, and seconds later the north end of the room broke away as though falling from a cliff.

“Roman!” Virgil yelped, staring at the wreckage.

This was a disaster, but Roman had a mission. He just needed to kiss Virgil, and everything would be perfect. He cupped the side of Virgil’s head to turn him towards him then cut off Virgil’s confused sound by smashing their lips together.

There had to be some sort of technique to this, and in the back of his mind, Roman knew that he knew it because Thomas knew it. But the technique didn’t come to him, and Roman ended up just aggressively pressing their mouths together.

Virgil flailed for a few seconds before firmly pushing Roman away. The rest of the castle cracked and fell until Roman and Virgil were left staring at each other in shocked silence, surrounded by the ruins of the castle.

“That always works in the movie,” Roman mused sadly, mostly to himself.

“What works?” Virgil asked, looking thoroughly shaken.

“Kissing,” Roman answered. “It’s supposed to fix everything — break the curse and stuff!”

Virgil opened his mouth, then closed it again. “Roman,” he said slowly. “I need you to be clear about this: what curse?”

“The curse that makes it hard for me to be around you,” Roman shrugged.

Virgil’s face fell, and before Roman could say anything else, he’d sunken out.

“Wow!” A voice mused behind Roman. “That was so much better than what I was going to do!”

“FUCK OFF, REMUS!” Roman screamed. Only silence followed.

It was about an hour later — an hour that Roman spent wallowing in misery and making uncomfortable realizations about himself — that someone knocked on Roman’s door. He opened the door because he was expecting Patton and he could use one of his Patton-ted hugs.

It was not Patton.

“Oh,” Roman sighed dejectedly. “I thought you were Patton.”

“Ah yes well Virgil was crying, and I thought it might be best for Patton to handle him.” Logan replied, seemingly taking little offense at the statement.

“What would you have done if I were crying?” Roman asked. Truthfully, he mostly just felt numb, Logan was probably safe from any overly emotional responses.

“I have a list!” Logan informed him excitedly, pulling out his notebook and flipping to a marked page. “It’s tailored to Patton, but I believe you would find many of the items to be agreeable!”

Roman glanced at the list and yeah, Disney movies and cuddling with someone non-romantically sounded excellent. Much better than it had when he and Virgil had done that exact same thing as a date.

“You got me there, Teach.” He was going for enthusiasm, but he couldn’t have been more off the mark.

“Hmm.” Logan’s eyes surveyed Roman searchingly. “Would you like to tell me what happened?”

“What did Virgil tell you?”

“I did not manage to get much coherent information out of Virgil, though Remus has informed me that you quote ‘flipped your shit’ end quote.”

“I was stupid,” Roman sighed. “Just one, gigantic, prince-shaped idiot! I fucked up worse than when Woody pushed Buzz out the window!”

“That is a very emotional response, with what appears to be an unhealthy dose of bias and exactly zero helpful clues as to what transpired between you and Virgil earlier — unless what you did was push Virgil out of a window.”

“No, I–” Roman choked. “I just– I was so excited by the prospect of having a romantic partner, that I didn’t stop to wonder whether or not I should have a romantic partner!”

Logan’s brow furrowed. “I am afraid I’m not quite following.”

“I think I’m aromantic,” Roman confessed. The word had been sitting heavily in his chest for the past hour, but now that it was out there, he felt the weight had been lifted. “I think I’m more excited by the idea of romance than I am by the experience of it — or at least, me experiencing it — and I know I chose Virgil because he was the most convenient option. I played with his feelings; I am unworthy of the title of Prince.”

“Beating yourself up over guilt is not a productive use of anyone’s time,” Logan stated simply. “Sometimes experimentation is required to learn things about ourselves, and sometimes those experiments accidentally hurt people. The best thing to do is apologize.”

“I know,” Roman sighed, rubbing a hand over his face — his makeup had long since been ruined so it hardly mattered now. “Can we do some of the things on your list afterwards?”

“Of course.”

Patton and Virgil were on the couch in the living room when Roman and Logan found them. Virgil was in Patton’s lap, clinging to him like his life depended on it, and didn’t seem to notice the others’ arrival. Patton sent Roman a reassuring smile.

Roman steeled himself up, mostly helped by the firm but gentle hand Logan had on his shoulder.

“Virgil?”

The Anxious Side froze for a moment before slowly pulling back from where his face was buried in Patton’s shoulder. His eye shadow was smeared across his entire face, but he said nothing.

“I need to apologize to you,” Roman continued, focusing on Logan’s calming presence. “It was not my intention to use you like I did, but I did, and for that I am so very sorry.”

Virgil said nothing.

“I was too excited by the idea of a romantic relationship that it took everything literally falling apart around me to realize that I didn’t want to be in one. You didn’t deserve to be my guinea pig. I hurt you and I will try my hardest to make it up to you because I value your friendship above anything.”

“...okay,” Virgil finally croaked before burying his face in Patton’s shoulder once more.

“I’m very proud of you, kiddo,” Patton smiled at Roman gently. “I think Vee needs some time now, okay?”

“Yeah, alright,” Roman agreed. He still felt awful, but he knew Patton was right.

“May I?” Roman turned to find Logan watching him expectantly.

“Sure,” Roman accepted, though he wasn’t quite sure what Logan was asking.

Logan took his hand — it felt nice when Logan did it, platonically, with no expectations — and sank out. They came up in Logan’s room, where the bookworm’s desk had been temporarily replaced with an in-home theater.

“My library, of course, contains every movie and television program that Thomas has ever seen,” Logan explained as he led Roman over the couch. He sat down and pulled Roman down with him, shifting them both around until he determined them to be in the perfect position — no doubt Logan had boiled cuddling down to a science. “We can watch anything you would like.”

“Moana?” Roman requested. He didn’t think he could watch a romance-heavy movie right now.

“Of course,” Logan promised.

Despite how poorly it had all gone down, platonically cuddling with Logan while watching Disney movies was the most content Roman had been in weeks. He drifted off to sleep to the sounds of Auli’i Cravalho and The Rock returning the heart of Te Fiti.

~~~END~~~

Vaguely based off of the six months in high school where I had a 🤢 boyfriend 🤮 (it was a time 🙃), and the fact that my college roommate (who I’m not sure is aromantic but def has the vibes) calls tinder her “game”

General taglist

@royalty-of-all-things-snuggly @pixelated-pineapple @arsonic-knight @misunderstood-shadowling

[jodilinbio]

2016

January

2015 ended on a fearful note, but 2016 began on a hopeful one. Unfortunately, Lexipro worsened my already disrupted sleep patterns so I didn’t take it for long.

Menopause wasn’t easy, though I was relieved to experience fewer episodes of my heart racing.

After a month without Andy in my life, I didn’t miss him at all. I was ready to move on, free from his false beliefs about me, his paranoia, immaturity, and stupidity—the whole exhausting package.

I returned to my counselor Stacey, and wow, no therapist had ever been so helpful! She introduced me to a form of Chinese medicine called emotional tapping, which can be used to manage anxiety and other issues. Initially, it seemed silly and pointless, but to my surprise, it worked.

Tom and I both ordered Fitbits to monitor our sleep, heart rate, and activity levels.

We booked a superior ocean-view stateroom with a private balcony on Royal Caribbean’s Independence of the Seas for January 30th to February 4th! The plan was to fly to Fort Lauderdale and cruise down to Cozumel.

After the cruise, we planned to rent a car, visit Tammy, and stay at a nearby hotel. We were flying first class with a layover in Houston. Tammy and I were both incredibly excited to finally see each other after so long.

I decided to stop attending aerobics classes at the clubhouse. They kept it too warm, and I couldn’t stand the repetitive old music. I opted to walk around the park, use my treadmill when the weather was bad, and continue working out on my Bowflex.

Aly started to get on my nerves with her clinginess and constant demands. She often took it personally when I was busy. While I felt for her struggles and didn’t want to abandon a good friend, I wished she’d do more to help herself. Her health issues and lack of local friends likely contributed to her emotional challenges.

One bright spot was discovering Alexa’s ability to read Kindle books!

I ordered an adrenal test kit on Amazon, which required saliva samples at four different times of the day. Blood tests hadn’t shown any issues, so I hoped this could provide more insights.

By the end of the month, my cortisol lab results came back. Two tests were normal, while the other two were on the low end of normal. It confirmed that something was off hormonally, which I suspected was related to menopause. A GYN I consulted validated that levothyroxine could cause anxiety—a helpful acknowledgment, though I wished other doctors had told me this sooner.

Later in the month, I won an adorable 18” vinyl doll that I later donated to Goodwill.

On January 29th, we left for the airport early in the morning and later checked into the Red Carpet Inn in Fort Lauderdale. Ironically, the room had no carpet! Before we headed to the cruise port, I updated Facebook and Twitter and texted Aly.

Then came the nightmare. The ship’s computers had issues, and there were immigration delays. Over 4,000 passengers were forced to wait in the sun for more than four hours. I suffered heatstroke but a kind woman trained in CPR helped me while the crew seemed indifferent.

Someone else handed me a bottle of water and a banana, which helped even more. I was incredibly grateful. I was so dehydrated that when I overheated, my body couldn’t even sweat to cool me down.

I wasn’t the only one who suffered heatstroke. Paramedics came for someone else who got sick.

By the time we boarded the ship, I was weak and exhausted, but I couldn’t get food or rest right away because we had to attend roll call and go through all the emergency drills they make you do. Even after that, getting food delivered was no easy task. The service was absolutely horrible. We were both so damn frustrated. It was such a horrible waste of money.

February

The only thing good about our Royal Caribbean cruise was the food in the Windjammer. We enjoyed the spa as well, and of course, I did a little shopping in hot, humid Cozumel, Mexico. We shopped for ourselves, our family, and our neighbors, Bob and Virginia. I bought some things from some of the Promenade’s seriously overpriced stores.

Choppy seas prevented us from docking in Costa Maya the following day, just as it had prevented us from docking in Grand Turk & Caicos after stopping in Puerto Rico and the Bahamas when we cruised the eastern Caribbean in 2007. So not only did we get horrible service, but we also didn’t get to go on any excursions.

It took me about three days to fully recover from the heatstroke. I felt drained, disoriented, and just overall awful. I managed to sleep okay, though, and liked our stateroom better than the one we had on the Westerdam. We also had a private balcony, which was nice to enjoy despite the constant sea winds. We sailed so close to Cuba that it almost felt like I could add another country to my travel list.

The banging from the neighboring rooms was maddening, and we couldn’t even get the Internet we paid for. We forgot to bring the laptop charger too, so its battery life didn’t last throughout the entire voyage.

On the last day, I had a Fire and Ice mani-pedi. Jill from Jamaica did a great job on my toes, which I chose to have polished in blue. But while buffing the ridges from my fingernails, she made the nails—polished in pink—too thin and brittle.

We gambled a bit, but never played miniature golf or went rock climbing.

After nearly a quarter-century, I finally got to run into my big sister’s arms for a long, emotional embrace AND see my lovely niece Sarah! That was on the 2nd. I met Becky the following night at a diner we all went to. They both looked lovely, and I was thrilled to see them after so long.

It was wonderful meeting Mark too, who’s such a great guy. He had some interesting stories to share over dinner. He grilled us steaks one night, while Tammy made a roast another night.

Tammy's home was beautiful, but Florida was surprisingly chilly at that time. She took us to the beach and some really nice stores. We got so much stuff in both the US and Mexico that we had to buy another suitcase. She and Mark gave us cute knickknacks and a necklace too.

Our hotel was spacious and had a great view of the marina from its private balcony. The only time I didn’t appreciate being there was when they had a live band playing downstairs.

I definitely liked her city better than ours. We knew it was risky to change states again until he retired, though. The cost of living might be higher in California, but so was the pay.

As much as I knew I’d miss my family and the warmer weather, it was nice to be back in the comfort of our own home. I was surprised to find I’d won a pressure cooker not long afterward.

The house diagonally from us sold, and our new neighbors, a couple of women, have been quiet so far.

I saw Dr. L one last time and was bummed to learn she’d left because she was the first shrink I’d ever met who wasn’t crazier than her patients.

I worried about Aly’s health, chatted with Marie, who would always have a special place in my heart, and chatted with Christiane, who went down to Austria to do some skiing. Sometimes I missed Nane, but not enough to overlook her negative traits.

March

At the dentist, Holly cleaned my teeth, and the dentist confirmed a cavity in my upper right molar. It was so large that it needed a crown—ugh. The dentist asked if I snored or had sleep apnea because of the way my tongue flopped back. According to Tom, I only snore a little sometimes.

The office assistant talked me into buying an ultrasonic essential oil diffuser with a color-changing LED. I went with peppermint oil since the one on her desk smelled so good.

Won a one-year Pandora One pass, a pricey facial serum, some bath beads, and a lovely cosmetic bag.

Found myself becoming more frustrated with societal issues. The increasing violence among certain groups, fueled by movements like Black Lives Matter, felt disruptive rather than constructive. I firmly believe violence isn’t the answer to solving problems. It frustrates me that facts from years ago are now dismissed as "racism" due to political correctness.

I was dismayed to find Kim back on Prosebox, creating accounts and blocking mine again. I wondered how many more years it would take for her to realize I didn’t want anything to do with her. I wished we could coexist on the same platforms without her childish blocking games and jeopardizing my account.

Then Aly shocked me by dumping me. She claimed I didn’t think much of her and that we were too different in our ways of thinking. She also said I was too blunt and critical of her. I’ll admit, I can be blunt at times, but it’s never meant to offend—just to be honest. I never demanded she live a certain way or thought less of her for her choices. It was a crushing blow, but I knew I had to move forward.

But I knew it wasn’t just about me saying things Aly didn’t want to hear—it went much deeper than that. The truth was, I wasn’t her “type.” Just like some women are drawn to toxic partners, Aly seemed to prefer friends who were unreliable, mentally unstable, and not particularly bright. This was evident in her closeness with Kim, Molly, and likely others who shared similar traits.

Aly openly admitted to being a habitual liar. Over the years, I caught her in numerous lies but chose to overlook them, focusing instead on her better qualities. However, the ultimate betrayal came when I discovered that she hadn’t left Twitter as she claimed. Instead, she had a hidden account where she expressed excitement over my being gone for a couple of weeks. This stung deeply, especially since I’d gone out of my way to text her from hotels while on vacation, knowing she was battling depression. To find out she was speaking about me behind my back while claiming I wasn’t there for her—despite my daily efforts—was an insult I couldn’t ignore.

The hurt and anger led me to lash out online for a brief period. I admit I bullied her a little, though it wasn’t my proudest moment. She eventually apologized, but even her apology was more about making herself feel better than repairing our friendship.

Despite missing her at times and the eight years I believed we were friends, I realized she was never truly loyal.

On another note, I found myself longing for the peace of rural living. I missed the quiet, the seclusion, and the absence of constant traffic. While I didn’t miss the lack of utilities or mail services, the noise of city life often grated on me.

April

As the month began, I once again wished for a rule prohibiting non-emergency projects on weekends. Having two guaranteed quiet days would be a blessing, but as always, weekends were hit or miss.

I also toyed with the idea of cutting off the rest of my friends and disappearing entirely. While it might have been safer emotionally, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. At the time, I wasn’t open to new friendships either.

It continued to bother me that so few people from my past reached out to me on platforms like Facebook. Maybe they had tried but couldn’t get through, or perhaps they didn’t bother at all. Facebook’s design made it difficult to contact those outside our immediate circle.

Mid-month, I had my permanent crown placed on my upper molar and then went treasure hunting at Goodwill. Even though we could afford new, expensive items, there was something thrilling about uncovering unique finds.

I was inspired to write the book Shane based on a dream that gave me the idea for it.

I was upset to learn that California would start providing free medical care to undocumented children. Now, parents in Mexico could bring their children by the dozens, further burdening our resources, while many citizens receive second-rate service and still have to pay for it.

Tom received over $150 in gift cards from work, including ones for Chili’s, Amex, and another I can’t recall.

Unfortunately, at the end of the month, our two-year-old rat, Hoodie, passed away.

One night, I woke up with a racing heart after a bad dream. Later, I learned that my LDL cholesterol was very high, and both my red and white blood cell counts were elevated. I declined cholesterol medication at the time due to my fear of side effects.

On the last day of the month, our washing machine started smoking and died. We replaced it with a front-loader, which I liked overall despite a few minor drawbacks.

May

The month started with good news—my endocrinologist, Dr. O, released me now that we had my medication dose regulated.

I won a pair of LED work light bars in an instant sweepstakes on Amazon—nothing too exciting but still a win.

The park continued turning off water every week or two to repair old pipes, which was annoying.

I finished the Dutch course.

June

Visited my PCP on the first of the month. While my lungs and heart sounded good, she convinced me to take half of a 10-mcg Pravastatin tablet every other day.

She also suggested referring me to a sleep specialist and scheduling an arterial ultrasound of my carotid artery to rule out blockages as a cause of my dizziness. The tech said he didn’t see anything worrisome.

The park turned off the water two days in a row, which really pissed us off.

Saw Stacey three weeks into the month. She suggested trying EMDR to help prevent future panic attacks.

Jackie moved out, and a couple named Jon and Carolyn moved in.

On the day Tom turned 59, my niece’s father died of cancer. I felt elated. The only downside was hearing about him nonstop on Facebook. Of course, I felt bad for his family, but I couldn’t shake my feelings about him. He was the man who abused Tammy and Lisa, indirectly got me arrested, and cost me a fortune in money, lost sleep, and anguish.

After watching a movie that reminded me of a fifth-grade teacher I had a crush on when I was 10, I looked her up and was shocked to learn she had passed away just two months earlier.

July

Camp NaNoWriMo began, and so did my project, The Interviews.

After my first dose of the statin retrial, I got the same sore throat as before and stopped it after 4 or 5 doses. The pharmacist I consulted said it likely wouldn’t go away, even though it’s a very effective drug. Unsurprisingly, my PCP attributed the sore throat to anxiety. I began to wonder if she’d say that about everything I ever felt, LOL.

Heard back from the woman I contacted at a rattery and purchased a really cool new cage. It was huge and cost a little over $200. On the evening of the 6th, we were supposed to meet Leslie to pick up the three male rats we adopted. Instead, we met her mother in Taco Bell’s parking lot. One of the dark rats turned out to be a hermaphrodite, so they substituted it with a Dumbo rat. That worked out better since having two dark rats might have made them hard to tell apart. I named the Dumbo rat Dumbo, the other dark one Burke (a Berkshire rat), and the Siamese rat Simon. They were a little shyer than I expected, but I planned to work with them and give them lots of love and attention.

Saw Stacey on the 8th, and as I told her, I almost wished I could see her every month for life because I always felt so much better afterward. I admitted I’d probably always have a general fear of medication, but it was nice that I could finally take painkillers for cramps and such without fearing something bad would happen.

She began EMDR sessions with me, helping me realize I wasn’t as weak and helpless as I thought during my trauma two years ago from the levothyroxine reaction. I managed to dial 911 and get the back door open, after all.

Our goal was to reduce the likelihood of me panicking if something scary happened in the future. She waved two fingers in front of my face like in the YouTube videos I’d watched, but she moved them faster than I expected. Keeping my head still, I followed her fingers with my eyes, which was much harder than I thought. She switched to moving them up and down instead.

During this, I focused on a negative trait I believed about myself at the time, then replaced it with a positive one. Between these hand movements, which lasted about 10 seconds each, I mentally walked through the terrifying events of that day:

My heart pounding in my chest.

Running out of the bedroom and down the hall.

Fumbling with the new phone I wasn’t familiar with, hoping I could call 911.

Finally reaching 911 despite shaky hands.

Getting the back door open in case I didn’t survive until the paramedics arrived.

Standing in the carport, trying to recall our space number for the dispatcher.

Seeing a curious worker glance at me through the trees as I spoke frantically.

Hearing the paramedics approach.

Moving toward the driveway and seeing a redheaded guy step out of the fire truck.

Watching the paramedics hook me up to a cardiogram and assure me I hadn’t taken a lethal dose of levothyroxine or had a heart attack.

Saw Stacey again in the middle of the month and realized how much I had come to like her. I even started to wonder—and hope—that the feeling might be mutual, not necessarily based on her words but on her tone and body language.

My periods continued to be highly erratic, and I began to be harassed by Leslie and her mother. Her mother proved to be batshit crazy, leaving me long, dramatic voice messages threatening to take me to court for “slandering” them in my blog after writing that I wasn’t happy with how shy the rats were. She demanded my address so they could serve a warrant for a cease and desist, etc. Oh, and as a disabled war vet, I was triggering her PTSD, and she needed to be medicated, just like her autistic “child,” who was really an adult with children of her own, as I would later learn. She also tried to use her autism as both a crutch and a weapon against me, but it had nothing to do with anything, and I would never have even known she was autistic if they hadn’t chosen to tell me.

I was also harassed and threatened via email by the daughter and on Facebook by Mommy Dearest. I was never worried, though. I knew I hadn’t broken any laws. All I’d done was piss them off by telling them things they didn’t want to hear.

We did something that felt so good! Yes, it felt so good to get it all out after 3 years of sitting back in silence. We finally voiced our opinion of life in our park in an anonymous survey. As I learned the hard way from past experience…if you complain, people can’t handle it and they retaliate, no matter how legitimate and reasonable your complaint may be. This way, I could let them know how sick I was of the constant landscaping sounds and finding kids in the pool after hours, along with the damn water outages. I left out the motorcycles and other loud traffic, wanting to address the most important issues.

August

On the 11th, I met with Stacey with mixed emotions. We had a great meeting, and as much as I hoped I wouldn’t need her again as a therapist, I hated to think it was goodbye forever. I was stunned to realize that my fondness for her was mutual. She told me I could call her, and I gave her my contact info. Planning to contact her on Valentine’s Day if I don’t hear from her first or need to schedule an appointment with her.

They turned our water off on two separate days for nearly 6 hours. I was so frustrated with that and the daytime noise that again I thought of moving, but had no idea where we could go to escape it. Instead, I let them have it anonymously online, and this time I included how annoyed I was with motorcycles being allowed to roar in and out of the place.

I continued to have intermittent dizziness on and off, as well as earaches. I took my BP for a week or so and seemed to be all over the place with the upper number. Sometimes it was normal, other times it was too high.

November

The park turned our water off for 4 hours and I finished my book, The Wrong Sister.

Saw my ENT, who told me I had arthritis in my jaw joint (TMJ) and that my ear looked fine. Also saw a doctor who confirmed my non-24-hour sleep/wake disorder.

Stunned out of my mind to see Trump get elected as president. And pissed.

As expected, the park turned our water off again for an hour.

December

Turned 51 and went on a shopping spree.

RIP Cappy.

Anxiety begins to return. Left a message for Stacey to call me.

Got my first real period in 3.5 months.

Went for my echo stress test, and then my session with Stacey was awful. Was very hurt, shocked, and angry to have been led on by what was otherwise a very helpful person into thinking we’d at least keep in touch. She was the last person I expected to let me down like she did. It was like I was meeting with a whole ‘nother person I had yet to meet, and I left her office feeling confused rather than less anxious and more hopeful for the future. I had no doubt that she had been attracted to me and then got scared off by her own feelings. I knew I couldn’t have suddenly become that bad at reading people. This didn’t lessen my disappointment in realizing we would never even be just friends.

A few days later, I sent her a letter telling her how I felt and why I canceled our appointment. I did it more to get things off my chest than because I felt I owed her an explanation.

Despite the fact that I feel confident that she never meant to make me feel the way she did, I still felt how I felt, and I never even so much as got a single apology for it.

Got desperate enough to try Estroven as I was feeling like shit both physically and mentally. I was anxious, I was crying, I couldn’t sleep, I had no appetite, I had no energy, and I had the runs. Later stopped the Estroven due to a tingling feeling in my throat and mouth, which the lady at the number on the box said could happen.

[inaworldlikethis52]

So here’s the recap of my visit to Selvon in Arkansas.

Selvon told me last year to visit next year and that we’d see cool things there.

I left it alone for a bit because I didn’t want to push it too much since he just left.

In January, I mentioned visiting him in March for his birthday. He said it would work out, he’d take some days off and possibly even make a trip to Memphis since it’s not far.

Literally right after I booked the trip, he told me he had to come back to NY for who knows how long. Obviously I was sad I had to cancel but then I’d see him anyway. He came back end of January and I ended up just rebooking again. But when he came back, little did we both know, he’d end up staying here for almost 2 months. I lost out on money, since the flights were non refundable.

He ended up going back for good end of March, and the goodbye was horrible. I didn’t think we’d see each other again or even talk. He was just so mean to me, when I literally loaned him money. It hurt. And to be honest I should have ended it.

Obviously I didn’t and to be honest, in the 7 months we’ve been apart, we managed to FT once a week.

He mentioned a vacation once he gets some money and we could plan, but again I left it alone.

It was end of July when he brought up me visiting and I said let’s do it for fall.

I told him the dates I would go and he told me he’d try to get me a buddy pass.

He confirmed the pass shortly after and then it was just a waiting game until then.

Once I got back from my Portugal trip, we started planning my trip to him.

He mentioned renting a car, getting a hotel/air bnb and a whole itinerary for us.

So it was happening.

We FaceTimed a lot for planning and on October 10th i was on my way.

My dad dropped me off at the bus station and then I was on my journey to see the man I love.

Going to the airport wasn’t bad at all. Such an easy breeze.

I got to the airport at 8am, with the flight to Dallas layover at 10:30.

I texted Selvon and his communication was top tier. lol.

The stressful part was waiting to see if I’d make the flight to Dallas and my worst fear came true. I didn’t make it. They rebooked me for the next flight which was about 5 hours away lol.

Around noon Selvon and I were texting and that’s when he said he had a change of plans for me, that I’ll go St. Louis. I was getting nervous and stressed out again but then I told myself “If it’s meant to be to see him, it will happen”.

I got on the flight to St. Louis and a bit of a layover until the flight to Little Rock.

I landed at midnight, extremely tired but once I saw Selvon waiting for me I felt such a sigh of relief.

I was so happy to see him and just wanted to be in his arms again.

We wasted no time, and enjoyed each other throughout the night. It felt so good to be with him again. I didn’t want it to end.

Friday mid morning we got up to start our day. we walked around and saw a bit of down town. We had a great lunch and then went picked up the rental car.

Driving wasn’t terrible but I do wish to forever be passenger princess lol.

Once we got back to his apartment, him and Danae were looking up airbnbs and hotels because we were gonna road trip it out of Little Rock.

Danaes gf got in around maybe 6, and Selvon finally booked an Airbnb and we were on our way to Fayetteville.

The ride there was almost 3 hours, getting to the house before 10.

We got some food, and then headed out.

We went to the bar and just chilled and then headed back to the room maybe before 2am. Not bad.

Selvon and I enjoyed each other in the middle of the night.

Saturday was our main day out there. We went to a free museum, Eureka springs, had some dinner and ended up watching kehlani’s concert. It was a decent night, but we headed back a bit early and I wanted to really get some rest so I took some Advil pms and Selvon wanted some too and we knocked out.

Sunday morning we started our journey back to Little Rock.

Once we got back we relaxed a little and then we headed to Hot Springs. I did this drive bc to be honest I felt bad that Danae and Tish drove so much and hot springs was only an hour away.

Tish said I didn’t have to, and I said if I drive there can you drive back lol. Bc driving at night for me is bad bad. She said that was fine.

Hot springs was a nice area, we ended up at the casino for dinner and gambling. It was great. I didn’t win though but it’s all about the vibes and experience.

On our way back, we stopped over and Selvon picked up a bottle of Vodka. I wasn’t opposed and asked to pick up some juice lol.

That night was so much fun. Us just drinking and playing music and just enjoying the company.

Around 2 am or a little later Selvon and I a bit tipsy went back to the room to the enjoy each other. It was amazing.

Monday was my last full day there and I was so sad but needed to enjoy all the moments with him.

We dropped off Danae at work, saw the old mill, had some lunch, checked out the old dam bridge.

We dropped off the rental back and Selvon wanted to just relax and watch a movie. I was falling asleep lol but ended up enjoying each other again and then we got ready to check out the fair.

The fair was nice and just different to be in a different state.

We headed back a bit early I wanted to really rest but also wanted him again.

It didn’t happen though which was okay, because I wanted to shower early lol.

I do wish we just held each other though.

One thing I did which I know I shouldn’t have, was go through his phone. I got the confirmation I needed that he was seeing other girls.

It hurt but I wasn’t surprised.

But I know I’m not the only one he’s sleeping with.

Unfortunately it doesn’t change how I feel about him and Selvon and I aren’t official.

I could do the same and I don’t want to.

But overall I enjoyed my time with him and we are planning a visit next year.

We’ll see what happens but I know I want him more than before now.

[imnotactuallygoingtousethis]

So, Sunday was meant to be my first pride fest since “officially” coming out

(in reality I just settled on some labels that work decent enough, I’ve long held that I felt like a part of the queer community but had been told for years I was wrong and look at me cmon of course I’m cishet. The only thing that changed is I stopped letting other people have a say in how I see myself)

Since I’ve always been so averse to labeling myself and have been open about myself for so long maybe she didn’t think it was a big deal. Maybe I’ve been so content I never brought up that I’d “officially come out”. Idk I’m trying to hold space for the possibility it was a misunderstanding. But it fucking hurt when she cancelled AFTER we were supposed to be there already.

I asked her and my sibling if they’d come with me (I’m too scared to go alone, not because of bigots, just social phobia) months in advance.

I gave warnings two weeks and one week in advance. Tried to start planning transport days in advance cuz I knew we were all bad at texting quickly. She even kept tabs on the weather so I thought we were fine. We knew it might rain but I said if it did they should both come over to my place and we can celebrate anyway. I tried… I really, really tried. Sent a book in texts trying to coordinate the night before, no response.

Got up early the morning of, excited. Tried to keep busy, did laundry, dishes, started getting dressed. I bought trans tape for the event and wasted a lot of it figuring how to apply it lol. It was cool seeing myself mostly flat chested, just a lil bit of boobage. Ever since I was a kid I wanted “chick boobs”, just enough to be a boob but with my pecs on full display. I was trying to hold wait to express the excitement and gender euphoria. I wanted to wait until it was closer to leave before I did sunscreen and glitter though.

So I waited. I’d sent another text at 7 am so I was waiting for a confirmation from either person that noon was a good time to head out, or where we wanted to meet (I’d asked a week ago, no response). And I kept waiting, at 11:30-45 or so I fell into a brief nap.

At like, 1:30 I woke up to a text from my sister timestamped around 12:30 saying she’d leave in an hour. (Um leave to where? I’d suggested meeting at ur place and no one responded?!) and a couple texts from my friend explaining that her and her partner were going over finances to buy a house and so she could not go with. She waited until after my sibling texted and then flaked immediately.

If she was up since 8 she def saw my text from 7. I don’t get why she wouldn’t have let me know asap. Or honestly, I don’t get why she wouldn’t have told her boyfriend that the financial shit needed to wait for a day. I tried to make sure everyone had plenty of time to schedule around our plans.

In fact- I KNOW I left enough time for them to schedule around it. The sister asks if I still wanted to go, but at that point it was 2 and it would have taken practically an hour to get there and park; I was too dejected to leave my apartment anyway so I said no. She said she’d try to stop by but never did.

I want to be nice to them because of all the space for misunderstanding, so I’m writing this instead. Maybe I’ll share my hurt with my sib and my best friend, one day. But for now I just need to let it be known how distraught I feel. How abandoned and unimportant I felt slowly removing the tape from my chest in the mirror, watching myself blink back tears in part of the outfit I’d picked out hours before my plans were canceled.

My last pride was my sister’s first since she’d come out as bi. I was excited to help her have their moment. Helped apply flag themed eyeshadow and got my anxious, crowd-averse ass out the door to make sure she wouldn’t be alone. Am I selfish for wanting someone to do the same for me?

I deserve my first pride. I’m not waiting a whole year. I’m having my own little pride this friday hopefully. I wanna do it while it’s still June otherwise I’d do it on Monday before my weekend. Me myself and I will be having an awesome lil personal pride celebration; complete with any rainbow snacks I can find and some fruity drinks. My boyfriend will probably throw more Will and Grace on, and I can wallow with the one person who’s always there for me.

[seokmattchuus]

Stray Kids as long-distance idol boyfriends

A/n: 1. Lookie, I'm not dead. 2. Third of the series. Don't know which group to do next so let me know if you wanna see anyone in particular :) 3. Idon'tknowifthisisproofreadI'msorry

- Requested -

Chan: Always picks up the phone whenever you call. No matter what. Because he always wants to hear your voice. Also likes half-joking about you moving in with him every time you stress about school because like, it's obviously better than getting a degree.

"I swear," You sighed into your laptop camera. "This paper's going to be the death of me."

"Just. like, drop out." He shrugged with a smile. "You can just move over here, and I can support us." His smile grew at the thought. "You know I can, anyways."

Minho: Has to call you throughout the flight to get a timeframe of when you're landing so he can run away from staff and go pick you up. Definitely stops by your favorite café to get your favorites so you can relax at the dorm while he unpacks for you.

"What time does your flight land?" He whispered into the phone. "I'm almost in the clear."

"I'm already in a taxi." You held back a smile as you lied.

"I can literally see the roof of the airplane. Lie better next time." He narrowed his eyes before showing you a glimpse of the bags from the café before panning back to his face. "I'll be at the airport waiting."

Changbin: Video calls you whenever he's stressed out in the studio because he swears you help with his creative blocks, even if you're not talking and the others are with him. Knowing you're there is all the help he needs.

"Next time you're here, I want you to write a song with me." He smiled. "It'll just be us in the studio, I promise."

Hyunjin: Likes to give you choreography spoilers for the next comeback. Mostly just him showing off in hopes you miss him and plan your next visit soon. It only worked once and now it's his go-to plan because he doesn't want to ask you directly.

"Why can't you ever play the song~" You whined. "Just like, ten seconds. That's all I want." You pouted.

"I'll play twenty seconds if you send a flight confirmation screen shot." He chuckled lighty.

"Is the spoiler worth the price?" You joked, your finger coming up to tap your chin.

"Use my card." He offered with a shy smile. "Whatever gets you here quicker."

Jisung: Always has a list of things for the both of you to do. Has everything covered from morning to evening because he doesn't want a single second to go to waste. The only time you ever get a break is when you're back at the dorm and get to sleep.

"I can't wait for tomorrow." He smiled as he pulled you closer to him. "I just know you're going to love it."

Felix: Loves video calling you when he has free time. Especially for planning dates when you visit each other. When he's sick, it motivates him to take care of himself, so he doesn't miss out on the time you have together. It usually almost always ends up in him missing you too much to wait.

"Hmmmmm," He teased as he pretended to think. "Should I catch the next flight, or should you?"

Seungmin: Misses you all the time. Whenever you visit, he wants to spend the whole time stuck to you. Refuses to go anywhere without you. Won't do anything unless it's with you. He would handcuff the two of you together if he could.

"If I let go you're going to leave again." He protested with a dramatic huff. "If you're leaving, you're taking me with you, I swear."

Jeongin: Wants to be in charge of plans so bad but always tells you a little too late. He wants to feel like he's putting in just as much effort as you but with his hectic schedule, he's always one step behind. Definitely doesn't mind, but he feels guilty when you take care of everything.

"But I already made reservations at a restaurant the day I land." You whined. "We can go the day after?"

"I was going to take you to this new cafe by the dorm." He pouted playfully. "Every time I try to be a good boyfriend, you steal the spotlight."

[huihuiheart]

Facade - Yoon Jeonghan - Part 1

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Seventeen Masterlist

Pairing:  CEO/Mafia! Jeonghan x Baker! GN Reader

Summary: Things weren’t always as they appeared, especially when some were particularly good at hiding there true intentions. Something was clearly off with the man who had just purchased the strip your little shop was in, even if you couldn’t figure out exactly what it was.

Warnings: Mafia themes.

Word Count: 2016

Note: Happy birthday Mina( @yoonzinoswife​ )! Enjoy this little chaos work with more to come.

You knew it was going to be yet another long day when you arrived at the strip your small café bakeshop was located on and saw suited men strolling around yet again. Seventeen Imagines Industries had set their eye on the little strip of shops, for what purpose you weren’t sure. What could an up-and-coming entertainment business want to do with an older area like this, you didn’t know. Still, they were adamant about buying up the whole thing, something proving rather challenging as some of you owned your own individual shops in it. With a sigh you look up at the sign above your shop, Coffee Break ‘n Cake, perhaps not the most unique name, but it was very much you. Unlocking the door and heading inside, you start on the morning brews knowing that it wouldn’t be long until the businessmen come to try and talk you into selling again and you’d rather not risk burning a cake in the oven because of that.

Looking up as the bells above the entrance jingled letting you know someone had entered you find the suited man whom you’ve grown rather familiar with over the last two weeks, “Hello Mr. Lee. What can I do for you today? Back to try and negotiate again?”

“Nope, not today, someone else will be doing that. I’m just here because I couldn’t resist one of your mini strawberry cakes and another cup of coffee.” He admits honestly with a chuckle, ordering what had become his kryptonite since he first stepped foot in your shop, “Also since I’m not here on business you know you can call me Jihoon.”

“So if you don’t mind me asking...who will be coming by to try and strike a deal? Aren’t you the CEO?” You question, having assumed that since he was taking the lead he must be the one in charge.

Jihoon chuckles, shaking his head as he watches you pack up the little cake as the coffee brews, “ I’m not. I’m more of what could be considered a mouthpiece. He trusts me to take the lead when he’s not around. However, your stubbornness in not selling has caught his eye and he’s interested in coming down and speaking to you personally.”

“You can tell him not to bother if you want. It would be a waste of time because I’m just going to tell him the same thing.” You insist, handing him the items as he places the money down for you, “I love my shop and I have no intention of selling.”

“Doesn’t matter what I tell him, at this point he’s insistent on meeting you. He likes people who know what they want and stick to it. So he wants to meet you for that reason if nothing else. As well as negotiate what to do if you’re the only one not selling in the strip since he has plans for it and all.” Jihoon shrugs, “I’m not sure what all he wants to say honestly, but at this point, there’s no talking him out of it. He’ll come by later this afternoon. Says he’ll wait until closer to when you close so he doesn’t disrupt your business.” 

You hummed in confirmation, appreciating that you would have time to go about what you needed to do today without worrying about him interrupting your tasks, “In that case, I’m going to go put a fresh batch of cakes into the oven unless you need something else Jihoon?”

“Not at all, I’ll bring him by when he arrives so you know who he is. Try not to let the scent of your sweets become too tempting please, I’m trying not to eat way too many of them.” Jihoon chuckles, seeing himself out with a happy sigh as he takes a sip of the fresh cup of coffee.

True to his word, Jihoon returned later that day, about an hour before you typically close, followed by a man nearly a whole head taller than the short businessman. Jihoon simply snatches another cup of coffee and a cake before leaving you with the very blonde, pretty CEO.

“Hello Y/N, I’m Yoon Jeonghan. The CEO of Seventeen Imagines Industries. Jihoon has told me a lot about you.” He flashes a bright smile as he leans across from you, “I’m here because it seems you’re sure of what you want, but either way we need to come to an agreement at least as neighbors moving forward. If now is good for you, perfect. If not, I totally understand. Business is a priority and I don’t want to take from your ability to run yours.”

“Now it's fine, I don’t have any standing orders, and as you can see, not really any customers. Though I do have a cake in that I’ll have to go get in 15 minutes.” You explain as you do one final wipe over the counter before tossing the cleaning rag into the sink for the moment, coming around the counter to gesture that you can sit at one of the tables.

“I’m going to be very straightforward with you about what we want Y/N. We really like this strip as a filming location, it’s easy to change around for different settings and so on. That’s why it’s ideal we own the whole thing. That being said, I understand you not wanting to move after establishing yourself here. So I’d like to offer you a couple of options that also work for us, and give you some time to think over if they would work for you.” 

Jeonghan places down a few folders on the table, “These will be written copies of what we discuss so that you can freely look at all the details after today. If you’re alright discussing this?”

“No promises that I’ll agree to anything, but you’re right we’re going to be neighbors we should have an understanding. Besides, it won’t hurt to listen.” You shrug as you agree to hear him out on his proposals.

“Excellent, thank you. So the first option, you sell it to us and we manage the building however you still run your shop. Now we take on the remaining payments you owe and you pay us roughly 75% of what your current payment rate is. Now inside the shop, you have the freedom to do as you please with decorating, upgrading, remodeling, so on. It just allows us to change the outside of the building whenever we please to whatever we please. It also means that any maintenance problems that affect the whole strip are not your concern at all.” Jeonghan explains going over the papers for that option before switching over to the others, “The other one is that you still own the shop and we come to you to arrange a deal for each individual project we’d like to work on. Permission to repaint, change shop signs, get your shop in the shot, so on. Arranging payment for those permissions for the project as well. Then however everything in terms of maintenance costs and otherwise is still yours as well... I can give you time to think over it. Perhaps in two weeks, I could take you to discuss this more over dinner?”

“Over dinner? Are you trying to pull something here Mr. Yoon?” You question him, eyes narrowing and making him chuckle. Something that only furthered his angelic appearance as his eyes sparkled holding the same laughter you heard from his lips.

“No, no, not unless you’d like me to anyway. I was implying a business dinner though. If that is within your comfort level anyways.” He clarifies, flashing you a perfect and almost annoyingly infectious smile as he goes to stand back up.

“Oh, well in that case sure. We can discuss this further over dinner in a few weeks.” You agree without giving it too much thought, which maybe that was a mistake, but now there wasn’t much option so you’d have to wait two weeks to find out...

“Now, I really should be going instead of keeping you any longer...but whatever you have in the oven is smelling so tempting that I’m not sure I can leave empty-handed. Can I ask what it is?” Jeonghan lingers as he gets sucked in much like most everyone who steps into the shop and smells your baking happening.

“It's an angel food cake. I make it plain and then serve it with pretty much anything someone could want. Do you want a slice?” You giggle at how he seemed to be switching from businessman to rather childlike all due to a sweets craving, swearing you could see a hint of a pout on his face until it fully clicked that you had offered him some, “I’m about to pull it out anyway, and it is always best warm.”

Jeonghan nods eagerly, a smile lighting up his face again, “Yes, please! That would be amazing!”

“Go look at the topping options at the counter while I get the cake out and set it to cool.” You offer, shaking your head a little at the adorable childlike excitement, going to pull the cake out. Settling it on the cooling tray which you bring out to the back of the counter before grabbing a to-go box, so you could start getting it ready for him, “Decide what you want?” 

Jeonghan watches as you set a little base for the cake with some of the toppings, claiming that the drizzles especially were best if you put half on the bottom and half on top so you could get some with each bite. Paying you, somewhat reluctantly, not because you didn’t deserve it but because it meant he was actually leaving now. Keeping in mind he’d be back again in two weeks if this cake didn’t lure him back in sooner.

____________________________________________________

Jeonghan showed up two weeks later as you were preparing to close, wearing yet another flashy suit. Something that contrasted sharply with your stained apron and unbeknownst to you, flour-dusted nose.

“Would you like me to wait before we leave for dinner?” Jeonghan inquires as he watches you diligently sanitize the counters and tables, coming to help you set up the chairs that had already been cleaned after that.

“No it’s alright, I’m almost done. I only need a few moments.” You assure, “I can meet you at your car? I’ll just wash up and lock up.”

“Sure, it won’t be hard to miss. It’s the flashiest one out there.” Jeonghan chuckles, before stepping back out to go wait for you. Making you shake your head with a small snicker, watching him make his way to a Ferrari. Something that seemed about right for the CEO you knew little about, yet seemed to be somewhat showy even if he was sweet.

Locking the front before going to the back to wash up and turn off the lights, heading out the back before locking that as well. Your brows furrowed in confusion as you watched moving trucks back into the delivery area, no markings on the trucks or any uniforms on the men. It raises your caution level as you move to walk around to go meet Jeonghan again, noticing how the only thing on the boxes they moved out was foreign writing and a symbol that you’d be trained to pick out clear as day living in this area. The Crimson Angel’s insignia, the mafia whose names had vanished from records and who lived secretly enough they had gotten away with nearly anything they had set out to accomplish. Which meant you were currently in an extremely dangerous situation, and quickly averted your gaze rushing to join Jeonghan. He steps out of his running car to get you door, careful as he closes it back behind you before joining you in it once again and driving off to dinner.

“I hope you’ve thought a lot about this deal Y/N. I have a lot of goals that are riding on this decision from you. I’m sure we’ll be able to work something out though.”

[nebulablakemurphy]

The Red Room

Summary: Meeting Yelena in the red room is the best and worse thing that’s ever happened to you. Warning: romantic Yelena x Fem!reader pairing and depictions of violence.

Those first weeks in the red room pass in a blur. You have one room. Just you. Meals are delivered like clockwork; no one speaks to you. Your only company being the television set that plays the same clips; morning, noon and night.

Until one day the lights flip on brightly above you and a woman enters. You squint up at her, “hello?”

“Hello.” She replies, “are you ready to get out of here?”

“Where will I go?” You wonder.

“Wherever I tell you.”

That is your first encounter with Madame B. When you were younger you thought her something of a savior. You know better now. Still when she calls for you, there’s no choice but to go.

You make your way down the long hall, florescent lights humming above you. Finally reaching the room you’ve been assigned; you grasp the door knob. Feeling the weight of the cool metal against your palm, with a steadying breath you turn it.

Inside is only Madame B and a girl. One you’ve only seen in passing, one of Dreykov’s favorites.

“Y/N, meet Yelena. She will be your partner from now on.” Madame B leads the introduction.

“Did something happened to Oksana?” Your brows pull together, voice small. Afraid to cross an unspoken boundary. She’s always been your partner.

“Oksana is no longer your concern.” The woman bites out. “Shake hands and prepare for your lesson.”

You nod, biting your tongue.

Lesson…

Sparring.

Dancing.

Captive simulations.

What will it be this time?

“Oksana is ok.” Yelena tells you, once the trainer is out of earshot.

“Good,” you whisper, holding your hand out to shake without another word.

“Is that why they kept you locked up so long? You don’t play well with others?” The blonde takes your hand, eyes narrowed into slits.

“I don’t play at all.” You inform her. Pleasing these people is your ticket out of here, and you will get out.

“Everybody plays, whether you want to or not.” Yelena tells you, letting your fingers slip from hers. “Just don’t get in my way.”

��—————————————————————-

You don’t get in each other’s way. Somehow having Yelena as a combat partner is a lot less annoying than you anticipated.

Oksana is a better friend, but you aren’t here to make friends. You’re here to kill. Topple regimes from the inside out, Yelena helps you do that.

Your training with Yelena is different. Chipping away parts of you until you fit together seamlessly. From trust falls to synchronized attack plans, you name it you do it. Sometimes until you bleed.

One of your trainers, Ivan, has taken a liking to blind folded direction. Outside of captive simulations it is your least favorite team building activity.

You remind yourself to focus and breathe. In some ways guiding is worse than being guided. “Veer slightly to your right.”

Yelena lifts one bare foot, holding it airborne, allowing you to assess the placement of her next step. “Here?”

“Yeah,” you sigh, as she clears the bit of shattered glass. “That’s perfect.”

———————————————————————

Your first real assignment comes on Monday, June second.

“Come in, Miss American Pie. I have eyes on the target.” Yelena informs you through the ear piece.

“That’s still not my name, over. Stay high, I’m going down.” You reply, deploying your rope and riding it to the ground.

“Five ticks northwest and the package is yours.”

“Copy.” You follow her instruction, ducking away as a bullet shatters the window beside you. “Easy.” You chastise, in a hushed whisper.

“Sorry,” she apologizes half heartedly. The kill was necessary and she had a clean shot.

You spot your target, ready to turn onto the main street from the alleyway. You wrestle him to the ground, he puts up a good fight. Not good enough.

You wipe the blood from your hands before removing the usb drive from his breast coat pocket. “Just admit it,” you taunt, turning to the building Yelena is scoping from, “you’re proud of me.”

“Y/N!” Her tone is not playful at all.

What’s wrong? Before you get a chance to ask the man you’d assumed dead has his knife buried in your thigh.

You crumple to the ground as he prepares to strike again. In the time it takes to unholster your weapon a silent bullet reaches his temple from the sky.

You squint up at Yelena, watching her ride her teether down to the ground beside you. “Thanks.” You pant, inspecting the damage.

“That was sloppy,” she frowns, searching her pack for the midkit, then tearing open a package of gauze. “You always check the body, confirm the kill.”

“I know, I was stupid.” You gasp, feeling Yelena apply an obscene amount of pressure to your wound.

“We need to move to the extraction point, they can deal with you in medical.” Yelena rises, tossing your arm over her shoulder for support.

“It won’t happen again.” You promise, leaning heavily against her side.

“You’re right, it won’t. I have no idea what happens to me if you die.” She grumbles, somewhat bitterly.

———————————————————————

Interactions with Yelena are sparse after that. She doesn’t trust you. Only showing up for your lessons and leaving the moment they’re finished. You understand why she’s angry, you would be too.

According to your weekly rotation, today should be live target practice, however you are directed to a different room.

Once inside your eyes find the chair. You hate that chair. You hate this room. Nothing good ever happens here.

Slowly you move toward Yelena at the far wall.

“A little birdie told me that you’ve been holding back in combat lessons.” Ivan says, tapping a finger to his chin. “Why is that?”

You bite anxiously at the inside of your cheek.

“I said why is that?!”

You notice Yelena flinch from the corner of your eye. “It’s my fault,” you hold up a hand. “I took a hit on our last mission and my partner was being mindful of my injuries.”

“Oh I see.” He smirks, condescendingly. “You don’t want to hurt each other.”

“It would be counter productive to harm my partner.” Yelena points out. The red room drilled that into you.

“That is true.” His eyes dart between you. “But we can’t have you afraid of sparring together. Now can we?”

Your jaw ticks, awaiting the consequence.

“When’s the last time you girls ran a captive simulation?”

“Two weeks ago.” Yelena presents her left index finger to him for inspection. The nail just beginning to grow back.

Ivan hums, “When’s the last time you ran a captive simulation on each other?”

Your heart drops, all the blood running out of your face. Not for months.

“Hmm,” he wets his lips. “Who gets to play the captor first?”

Neither one of you volunteer.

“Belova,” he purrs. “Come choose your tools while Y/L/N straps herself into the chair.”

You don’t hesitate, it’ll be worse if you do. Tuning out his incessant chatter you find your seat. The metal chair sends a chill up your spine. Bending at the waist, you strap each ankle into a leather restraint, then your non dominant hand. Free hand waiting, curled around the arm rest.

Yelena kneels before you, her selections resting at your feet as she closes the final strap around your wrist. Your breath quickens.

“Fifteen minutes on the clock then you’ll switch.” Your spectator announces. “Make them count or we’ll start over.”

On autopilot Yelena reaches for the scalpel.

You don’t mean to scream…but eventually you do. You always do.

———————————————————————

Yelena knows your weaknesses and regularly exploits them to leave you face up on the floor during hand to hand combat sessions.

You used to resent her for it, but it made you strong. Stronger than you’ve ever been or hoped to be. The day you finally best her the room is filled with hushed whispers. Now you are ready.

You learn to move in harmony. The trainers ease up a bit and the other girls line up to watch you like an exhibit. You are two halves of a more perfect whole.

“Madame B, can I ask you something?” You say, fiddling with the hem of your shirt.

“Of course.” The older woman replies. “What is it?”

“Why was my training so different with Oksana?”

She leans in. “You were not brought here to be a partner to Oksana. She was standing in until we could be sure you were ready for a partner. Nothing more.”

“Was I brought here to be Yelena’s partner?” The question burns at the back of your throat.

“I understand the desire to seek meaning in these things. You hope to find your place in the world.”

You nod.

“But you have no place in the world,” the words cut like a knife. “What you do have is an opportunity to prove that you are not a waste of space, time, or resources. Come, let’s sit for debriefing.”

You wait in silence for Yelena to arrive, finally she does. Taking the seat beside you in the meeting room.

“In two days you will undergo the graduation ceremony, after which you are granted up to three days recovery time before you will be deployed to Moscow.” Madame B reviews the information, handing you each a folder of details.

“Enclosed you will find your identification cards and aliases. I suggest you take this time to familiarize yourselves. Tomorrow we will begin shooting photographs for the past two years of your lives. Report with several changes of clothing. Congratulations on this assignmet. It is a great honor.” Madame B dismisses you.

You open the file. ‘Katherine and Irena Reiner.’

“We’re sisters?” Yelena guesses.

Worse. “We’re married.”

“Even better.” She says under her breath, rising from the chair.

———————————————————————

Life in Moscow is different. Good. The neighbors are easy enough to convince. You play your parts to perfection.

The company you work for being the main focus. They have access to some sort of programming that Dreykov is desperate to get his hands on. You know better than to ask why.

Most mornings you get ready together, discussing the events of the previous day to prepare for the next.

“How come you only speak English?” Yelena wonders, turning off the steady spray of water from her shower and reaching out to grab a towel.

“I have a theory,” you reply, spitting excess toothpaste into the sink. “I think keeping me dependent on translation had more pros than cons.”

“They taught me.” She says, stepping onto the bath mat. “But I guess that’s different.”

You were brought in much older a majority of the other girls.

Your eyes meet in the mirror, seeing each other as if for the first time.

“I could teach you.” She offers, breaking the connection as she turns away.

“Yeah?” You pass the brush through your hair.

Yelena shrugs, “I have nothing better to do.”

“Just don’t teach me the wrong words to make me look stupid.” You arch a brow.

“It would be counter productive to harm my partner.”

Hours turn into days. Days into weeks and suddenly you stand on a blurred line. How much is she pretending? How much are you?

The two of you rest on opposite ends of the couch. Enjoying another round of prime time television.

“Yesterday I was talking to that girl in accounting.” Yelena pulls your attention from the picture.

“The blonde one?” You ask, tossing a piece of popcorn at her.

She attempts to catch it in her mouth. Having had more than a few drinks her coordination is lacking.

You smirk, when it falls into her lap.

“No Maggie.” She corrects you, finding the wayward piece and biting into it.

“Mmm.” You hum.

“Mmm? What do you mean, ‘mmm?’” Yelena’s brows pull together.

“Nothing,” you insist. “I was just acknowledging what you said.”

“You didn’t sound very happy about it. Did she do something to you?” Yelena demands, straightening her posture.

“No, she didn’t do anything. Anyway tell me what happened.”

“She’s worked there for a long time. I think she knows more than she says she does.”

“So are you gonna talk to her again? See if she’ll open up?” Yelena has that effect on people.

“I am married.” She rolls her eyes, flipping her left ring finger in place of the middle.

“Shut up.” You chuckle.

“I’m crazy about you, know you. Ever since we met in high school. You didn’t like me at first but you came around.” Yelena elaborates.

“I don’t remember seeing all that in our cover story.” You cock your head to the side.

“That was a shit story, I’m rewriting it.” She waves a hand.

“Tell me more.” Tell me everything.

———————————————————————

“Did you get milk?” You shout, peeking into the nearest paper bag.

“Was it on the list?” Yelena hollers back, from the front door, kicking it shut. Her arms full of groceries.

“I don’t remember,” you say, unpacking the head of lettuce and eggs.

“You made the list.” She scoffs, setting the rest of the haul on the floor.

A knock pulls your attention away from the food.

“Who is it?” You wonder.

“It’s me, George. From next door.” Your neighbor answers.

Yelena rolls her eyes, waving you out of the kitchen. It’s your turn to make small talk.

You step carefully around the produce to the main entrance. “Hey George.” You smile, swinging open the door, “what’s up?”

“Katherine!” He greets you. “Could I borrow Irena for a minute?”

“Is that lawnmower giving you trouble again?” You guess, leaning against the door frame.

“It’s running great actually. There’s something else I’m curious about though.”

“I can send her over after dinner.” You attempt to dismiss him.

“Aren’t you going to invite me in?” George moves his foot to prevent the door from closing, producing a pistol from his waistband.

“George!” Yelena waves, clearly oblivious.

“Irena,” he looks down at the gun, pointed at your chest, “we have much to discuss.”

“Clearly.” Yelena agrees, coming to join you on the threshold. “Are you going to tell me why you have my wife at gunpoint?”

“We should take this inside.”

“I’m good here.”

He presses the barrel against your skin through the fabric of your shirt. “You sure about that?”

“On second thought, I could go for a drink. Do you like scotch?” Yelena takes a step back, leaving room for him to enter the house.

“Who sent you?” George demands, guiding you into the kitchen.

“We also have brandy.” She says, expression unreadable.

“Who are you working for?” He asks a second time, adjusting his grip on the gun. “First one goes in her leg.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Yelena drawls. “But I’m going to warn you, if you hurt her, you die.”

“You have three seconds to give me a better answer,” the nuzzle of the gun sits flush against you upper thigh. “One, two-“

Yelena lunges, the gun firing into the floor when he’s knocked off balance.

George tosses her off as if she weighs nothing. You rush him, knocking the fire arm to the other side of the room. Your arms locked around his neck, flush to his back. He rams you back first into the china cabinet.

You fall away with a grunt.

“Now,” the man rights himself. Wiping away the blood from his split bottom lip with the back of his hand. “We’re going to have fun.”

Taking a fist full of your hair he begins pulling you toward the center of the room. You grab for a large shard of glass, slicing it over the back of this knee. He releases you, doubling over.

“I warned you.” Yelena snarls, stabbing her knife into his belly, making a straight line up to his sternum. “You thought you could use her to break me? They used to make me torture her! They used to make me-“ she breaks off, withdrawing her knife. Only to ram it in again and again.

George, if that was his real name, is long dead. A crimson puddle blooming on the floor. It doesn’t stop Yelena, hot, angry tears rolling past her cheeks.

“Yelena.” You say softly.

“They used to make me do it.” She repeats, the weight of the words crushing down on her.

Your arms envelope her from behind.

“No.” She sobs when she feels you there, holding exactly where it hurts.

“It’s ok.” You whisper against her ear.

The blood stained blade clatters to the ground. Her breathing ragged as both her hands find yours, squeezing tightly. Don’t let go.

“It’s ok.”

“No it’s not.” She cries, frantically shaking her head.

“I did it too.” As if she needs reminding. “They made me do it too.”

She allows you to stay curled around her, desperately trying to absorb some of that pain.

———————————————————————

Yelena’s drug of choice is alcohol, the spirits burn their way into her blood stream. Erasing all that she’s done.

“You want a glass?” She offers, setting the bottle of clear liquor down on the coffee table.

“No thanks.” You shake your head, hair still damp from the shower.

“Don’t be a hero,” she rolls her eyes as she takes a seat. The water had washed away any trace of George.

“Fine,” you take a long swig from the bottle in question.

“You’ll thank me later.” She tosses back a shot, sliding the strap of your pajama top down to assess the damage to your left shoulder. “It’s deep, going to need stitches. This is why we don’t go through china cabinets.” Yelena chastises, moving for the first aid kit.

“Yeah, not my finest moment.” You peek at her. “But it worked.”

“Mmm,” she hums, returning to her spot. Flipping open the white box and removing what she needs to stitch you up.

First she hits you with the antiseptic “сука!” Bitch.

“See,” you can hear the smile in her voice, “you are learning.”

You let out a pained laugh, “I guess I am. We need to call someone to clean this up.”

“Here,” she hands you her phone, blowing gently over you wound. “You take care of that, I take care of you.”

Your heart clenches at her words. But Yelena is your partner. That is all.

“Belova, do you have a status update?” A familiar voice answers after the first ring.

“Yeah, we need a cleanup.” You say matter of factly.

“Agent Y/L/N.” He greets you. “How many?”

“One.”

“For now,” The man remarks.

“You didn’t tell us we weren’t alone in this pursuit.” You purse your lips.

“There’s a reason we sent the best. I’ll put in for a clean up crew in the morning.”

“Let them know the body is in the bathtub.”

The goes dead.

The conversation distracts you well enough from the dull ache of the needle poking and pulling at your shoulder.

Carefully Yelena bandages the abused skin. Her finger tips running along the back of your arm.

“Thank you.” You whisper, relaxing into her touch.

Her lips ghost over your skin. “You’re welcome.”

Oh.

Slowly you turn, as if not to startle her. Yelena’s eyes find yours.

You move closer, tracing the line of her jaw. “Thank you,” you repeat.

She nods, still unsure.

“Of all the people I could’ve been stuck here with…I’m glad it was you.”

“You don’t have to say that.” She pulls your hand away gently.

“You’re right. I don’t have to say anything.“ You murmur, “But I want to… and it would be counter productive to harm my partner.”

“We can’t.” She knows it. You know it. “It will get in the way. They’ll kill us.”

“No.” You chuckle bitterly. “They’ll make us kill each other.”

“I wouldn’t do it,” Yelena insists.

“You won’t have a choice.” You point out. “Didn’t you hear about that stuff they started pumping into people?”

“Mind control.” Yelena replies in Russian.

“It’s only a matter of time.”

“Maybe we get out.”

“Maybe,” you smile sadly, “maybe we find each other.” In another life.

———————————————————————

Three days later Yelena comes home late. During your day off you were tasked with the more mundane tasks of running a household, but you suppose there are worse things. She finds you in the laundry room, drink already in hand. Her mouth set in a frown.

“What’s wrong?” You drop the piece of clothing back into the basket.

“I have it.” Yelena confesses.

You press your lips together, you knew this was coming. That information is the only reason you are here. “Did you contact them?”

“Not yet.”

“Are you going to?”

“You say that like I have a choice.” She stares down at her drink.

“I just meant-“

“I know what you meant.” Yelena knows you, better than anyone. The red room saw to that. “Do you want to stay one more night?”

“Do you?” You wonder.

“When I was a little girl…I didn’t have a chance to say goodbye.”

“In the morning,” you offer. Any longer and the risk will be too great. “We’ll go in the morning.”

She nods, taking in the room around her. “I wanted it to be real.”

“It was.” You choke down the lump in your throat.

———————————————————————

Your return to the red room is swift. No pat on the back or celebration to be had. Just two pawns, returning to their places on the board.

You’re separated from Yelena. Because your loyalties are to each other and that poses a threat. But what did they expect? They made you this way.

You are alone. Perhaps the most alone you’ve ever been. Or maybe you’d just forgotten that you could feel things. You remember now and wish you didn’t.

Like it or not she changed you. Knowing her had changed you, for better or for worse. After Yelena you were never the same.

Word of Oksana’s escape only fuels the need to chemically alter the minds of all agents. Beginning in order of importance.

Finding Yelena seated on the bench outside the physician’s office steals the breath from your lungs. To see her now is blatantly cruel and calculated.

Still you sit in the empty space beside her.

“Do you know where your orders are?” She asks.

“Yeah,” you nod, “Budapest. You?”

“Back to Moscow.” Yelena informs you.

You swallow hard, your pinkies skating past each other.

“Agent Y/L/N,” the doctor opens his door. You watch as another widow exits, she doesn’t look any different. Maybe the mind control drugs aren’t affective.

You steal one last glance at Yelena. Her eyes are desperate, ‘don’t go.’ Both of you knowing you can’t stay.

“Enjoy Moscow.” You whisper, moving reluctantly to your feet.

She tears her gaze away, unable to watch you leave. “I hear Budapest is beautiful.”

You hope so.

Wanna know what happens next? Check out chapter one of Miss American Pie! 💜

Yelena Belova Taglist: @captainwonderwidow

[dimensionwriter]

100 Days

Part Three

Part One Part Two

M! Alien x GN! Reader

Warning: pinning

Word Count: 2296

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Today’s the day. A whole month has passed since Experiment 337 became conscious, therefore that means that he is now in the clear to be able to leave his containment. The reasoning for the 30 day period is to see if the alien holds the ability to breath in our atmosphere. So, slowly throughout 25 days, the liquid in the container gains more oxygen, nitrogen, and carbon dioxide until it reaches the point of similarities with Earth’s. Then the final 5 days are just checking on the vitals and making sure there are no complications.

And Shark was able to withstand it! Of course Shark would. There was no doubt in your head that that crazy alien wouldn’t be able to. He’s amazing like that.

Do you know how hard it is to try to look professional and calm while speed walking down the halls? Every time someone would stop to ask you something, you did not stop. You would yell the answer or tell them the name of someone who may know the answer while you were way past them. Luckily, no one pointed out how weird you look speeding to your door.

“Examiner, good morning. You made it just in time,” A low voice spoke to you. You looked away from your door to see your vector’s manager walking towards you. He was the one who’s always speaking through your earpiece. You assumed that he wouldn’t bother you anymore, except for meetings, since Shark was now conscious, but seeing him walk towards you told you that he must have found something new that interested him. Sadly, it must have included you.

“Morning, sir. Have they already started the movement?” You scanned your ID card across the reader causing the door to open. Stepping through, you were met with what felt like a completely different room. The container was broken down into its four glass panels and were laying on the floor in the corner. Your computer was now moved into the corner with a wall around it with windows that peered out into the room. In the middle, was a long table that had the main attraction on it.

Shark was still fast asleep, thanks to the sleeping medicine still being pumped into him. His grayish blue skin seems to look almost matte out of the liquid. Glancing at his limb, the black color that it turned to was a completely different texture. What type would it be most similar like?

“Morning, Examiner. We are almost done here. I am changing their vital readers to be inside of them , so there won’t be cords everywhere that could trip you. I have also added a microchip in their neck, just in case they try to escape. It’ll send a big enough shock to take down an elephant,” The vector’s doctor explained walking around Shark and pointing them out. So he had vital readers in his right thigh, middle left arm, and one in the center of his chest.

“Thank you so much. I’m so sorry I wasn’t able to help you guys,” You apologize seeing how much was done without you. You walked over to your metal closet to put away your personal belongings and grab a fresh pair of lab coat and gloves. You actually get a chance to actually use the gloves.

You watched as your manager didn’t even try to put on any of the sterile clothes and just walked in. He’s the manager, so he should definitely know the rules, but is choosing to ignore it. This man sometimes gets on your nerves.

“So, this is the little shape shifting bastard,” your manager teased, poking Shark in his face. Not the bare hands. Who knows what germs this man has been exposed to and he’s directly making contact with the creature.

“Sir, I would advise that you do not touch Experiment 337 with your bare hands. It is unknown the result that may have on them,” the doctor spoke. The dark bags under their eyes made their statement feel a lot more firm then it would have coming from you. He may be the manager, but the vector’s nurse is equal to him.

He let out a small scoff and started walking around the room looking at things. The nurse went over to the corner room to probably make sure the vitals are actually reading correctly. With everyone busy, you walked over to Shark.

With the tips of your fingers, you brushed away at the spot the manager had touched. Woah. His skin was so cold. It felt like you were touching ice. Lightly, you trailed your fingers down his face to see that the texture was actually similar to something that was matte.

The skin underneath your finger begins to poof out. Looking back at his face, you see that his thin lips were spread out showing his sharp teeth. No way. You looked further up to see a pair of black eyes staring at you.

How was…. There can’t. You looked down to see that there was still a tube going up his back that was pumping the blue liquid. It has been confirmed that this formula worked good enough to put him to sleep. How was he awake?

“Do plan on bringing the bed in later today?” You watched as the manager walked towards the corner room, not noticing the two pairs of eyes on him. He disappeared around the corner and your head snapped down.

“You can resist the medicine,” you accused him. He gave a smirk and let out a quiet laugh. His top arms were folded across his stomach. He reached a little and grabbed the end of your lab coat and began twirling it.

“As I have stated before, Yeah and you can’t. It’s not my fault you humans are so, how do I say this kindly, incapable.” You didn’t even have it in you to argue with him. A million questions were flying through your head.

How did he stop the effects of the medicine? Does it have something to do with him being a shapeshifter? How long has he been doing this? Should you report this?

Wait, why are you doubting reporting this? This is definitely something that should be reported. If everyone thinks all aliens are asleep and there’s little security, he could become a real threat. Going rampant, freeing other aliens, or worse, going onto the outside.

Would he really be that much of a threat? He would probably just try to flirt with all of the security and get them to be his ‘mate’ or something.

“Darling, you look so cute when you think so hard,” his voice purred. You looked over at him to see he was smirking at you. His black eyes drifted down a little and that’s when you noticed that his hand holding your lab coat was raised up. He stretched his neck a little to look underneath it.

“What are you even looking at?” You held no personal items in your pants. Maybe he was analyzing the fabric of clothes better to recreate it better. Has he ever held this type of fabric before? You don’t really know where he came from or his history much. One day, you got a promotion to this vector to be an examiner and got assigned to him. No previous records were given to you.

“Nothing. Just enjoying the view,” he mumbled leaning a little farther over to look. Your brain seemed to freeze as you realized what he was doing. This pervert.

Stepping forward, you yanked your coat out of his hand and smacked the back of his hand. The corners of his eyes crinkled a little as he started to softly laugh. He was enjoying teasing you a little too much.

“Examiner?” You turned around to see the Nurse and the manager staring at you. You blinked in confusion at them. Why were they looking at you weird when Shark was clearly awake? “Can you please not smack the alien? They may be unconscious, but I’m sure they can still feel it?”

Unconscious? You turned around to see that Shark had his eyes closed and his arms back in place. It looked like he was truly ‘unconscious’ it wasn’t for the edges of his cheek twitching from trying to hold in his smile. He was trying to get you in trouble.

“I apologize. Thought I saw a bug or something on his skin. However, it was most likely his skin shifting around due to his ability to shapeshift." You hoped they didn't pick up on the bull crap you just let spewed from your mouth. It's one thing for a manager to touch him, but for a subordinate like yourself to slap him, that's an instant ticket to being written up.

"Bugs? Many workers have been moving in and out of this room. It's a small chance, but still is possible," they grumbled walking towards you. They glanced around the room before letting out a small sigh. "I'll make sure to send a cleaning crew in here just in case."

They actually brought it. You didn't know who to thank. Thank the nurse for being kind and not doubting you or the workers for moving around a lot. Well you thank both.

"Whelp, Examiner. Congrats on getting that thing to live for this long. Definitely thought the damn thing was going to kick the bucket ." His harsh laugh echoed through the room. You didn’t say anything, only allowed a tight lip smile to come on your face. The nurse just rolled their at his dumb statement.

“Examiner, you need to complete your training for in person examinations for Experiment 337,” the nurse reminded you. Their eyes drifted down to Shark next to you before looking back up at you. You swear you saw a small smirk appear on their face. “We will be outside waiting for you to finish up in here.”

They dropped their lab coat in the waste bin and slid their black gloves into their back pocket. Scanning their ID, the door slid open and they walked through. The manager appeared confused by their statement, so where you to be honest, but didn’t question it much and just walked out.

Did the nurse know that Shark was awake? If they actually knew, hopefully you won’t get into trouble for it. That would look so bad if you looked like you were hiding stuff for them and you could get written up, or worse, fired.

“Why do you always leave me?” You turned towards Shark to see he was sitting up now. You tilted your head up to be able to look him in the face. Something to document, he’s tall as hell. His torso to leg ratio is a little less even than humans. His legs are quite long and thick making you believe that’s where his height would mostly come from. But that theory is thrown into a fire seeing as his torso was the length of your entire upper body.

“Now that everyone has left the room, now you want to ogle my body. You perv,” he teased, covering his body with his six hands. The claws protruding out of them pressed into his grey skin. Small little bumps and rises appeared all over his skin. It really was like leather in a way. “Honey?”

“First, I know you didn’t just say I was ogling you. You were the one raising up my lab coat to look at me. You’re even more of a perv. Second, don’t call me honey. I don’t want anyone to hear you say that and get that wrong idea,” you ticked off with your finger. He unwrapped his first set of arms to let the elbows rest on his thighs. Gently, he rested his head on them and stared down at you.

“Then, can I call you babe, sugar plum, my starlight, darling, and/or angel? It would please me if all of the humans on this planet knew you were mine. And I do plan on making you mine,” he whispered. He leaned down towards you with a small smile on his face. In his dark eyes, you could see your reflection through them. Did you really look that flustered?

You stepped away from him and walked towards the door. You took off your lab coat while taking steady breaths. This is your job. You are getting paid to deal with this flirty alien. “Well, I see you're still stuck on that whole mate thing. While you continue to go on about that, I have work to do. See you later.”

You grabbed your ID to scan it when a hand landed on top of the scanner. Then another wrapped around your waist pulling you into a hard surface. Two hands went above you to the door while another grabbed your face to tilt it up.

“I’m not joking when I say you’re my mate. I’m adamant that you are and I don’t plan on letting you go.” His usual smile was wiped on his face, but instead a joyless frown was there. The sparkles in his eyes were all gone. He really was serious about this.

“Don’t worry. I’ll let you go. Just this time.” Every hand around you retreated back to him as he turned away from you. He walked towards the metal table with his tail low to the ground. “But next time, I would actually like some time with you. Please.”

All you could do was give him a small nod as you exited the room. Your mind felt fuzzy from trying to process everything. But you have plenty of time in the future to get answers to these questions.

70 days.

-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

I actually wrote something. It’s something short but I’m proud I actually did it. I miss Shark and this story. Hopefully, I’ll get to get something else out. Anyway, make sure to Like, Reblog, and Comment. I love to see you guy’s comments. 

[queenshelby]

The Last Semester – Part Two

Pairing: Cillian Murphy x Reader

Words: 1,331

Warning: Flirting, Fluff

***

After having traded spots with Emma, over the next two weeks, you worked on your new drama project with the other group. But this didn’t mean that you didn’t see Cillian. To the contrary. You saw him more often than you were comfortable with and your attraction towards him intensified every time you interacted with him.

Every morning, Cillian would get his coffee at the local coffee shop where you worked as many as four days per week. In addition, just like you, he would spend a lot of time at the nearby second-hand bookshop looking for random and interesting novels.

The small bookstore had a reading area upstairs which no one really knew about and, on a rainy Tuesday evening, you sat there for three hours, researching for one of your other literature units.

That day, Cillian had the same idea as you, evidentially bored on his own since temporarily moving to London for the drama project.

‘Interesting choice’ Cillian said as he saw you sitting in the reading area with a stack of books by Charles Dickens.

‘Oh yes, Dickens. He is making some good points which I can use for my literature project’ you explained.

‘And some random ones too’ Cillian chuckled, causing you to raise your eyebrows as if you were asking a question.

‘For example, he states that there is no greater gift than the love of a cat. I would question this statement’ Cillian laughed.

‘I am fairly sure it was a contextual question’ you chuckled.

‘Nah…I think he just likes cats’ Cillian then went on to say before sitting down next to you and asking you whether you wanted some help with your research.

You nodded in agreement and probably spent the next hour or so with Cillian in the small book store looking through Dicken’s many novels.

***

Then, the following day, when you came walking out of your bedroom, you couldn’t believe your eyes when Cillian stood in the kitchen with Emma.

That was two days in a row that you saw each other by chance. Clearly, he didn’t live far from campus either.

‘Oh…uhm…hi’ you said when you realised that he saw you, although deep down inside, you hoped that he didn’t as you were wearing nothing but an old grey t-shirt, cotton panties and a pair of bed socks. Your hair was messy and tied up in a bun and you wore your black framed reading glasses.

‘Hi Y/N’ Cillian said with a warm smile, unable to take his eyes of you, causing your cheeks to flush.

‘Cillian was nice enough to help me carry these upstairs as I ran into him on the street and one of the shopping bags broke’ Emma explained and Cillian was quick to advise her that he needed to leave as he had a call scheduled for 3pm.

‘See you’ you quickly said just as you stumbled back into your room and Cillian nodded, having a slight chuckle as you appeared rather clumsy.

‘Did you instigate this?’ Thomas then laughed and you couldn’t help but poke your head back out of your room, waiting for Emma’s response.

‘Maybe’ Emma then went on to giggle and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes at her. She clearly had a crush on Cillian and you certainly couldn’t have told her about why you wanted to change to the other group.

The truth was that you liked Cillian a lot and every day you saw him, you could feel butterflies in your stomach. But it wasn’t like a silly crush. Instead, it was an attraction not only on a physical but also intellectual level. He was funny, smart and you loved talking to him. There was something that distinguished him from guys your age and from other men you’ve met and this is what attracted you.

Every time he came into the coffee shop at which you worked and ordered his latte, you couldn’t help but feel a sense of excitement, something you had never really felt around a man before. But then again, you knew this was pointless and inappropriate and you quickly realised that you shouldn’t waste your time and energy in pursuing anything with man who you barely knew and who was 20 years older than you. You knew you needed to steer clear from him, avoid him wherever you could.

***

Unfortunately for you, it was the Monday on the fourth week of the drama project that Aiden had called in sick for the week after having contracted food poisoning and it was Cillian who took over his project until Aiden’s return.

Instantly, when Cillian walked into the theatre room, your butterflies returned. But, at the same time, you were incredibly nervous. You really didn’t want to work with him again. It was the whole reason you changed groups, so you didn’t have to be around Cillian.

Luckily for you, in this group, you only played a minor part in the play and Cillian was focused on the other students who needed more help than you with the script.

However, following the three-hour program for the day, Cillian asked whether you could see him after class. There was something he wanted to give you for your research program.

You nodded shyly and, after everyone had left, followed him to the office he was assigned temporarily by the university.

‘This is for you’ Cillian grinned as he handed you a print out entitled ‘Dicken’s fascination with Cats’ and you couldn’t help but laugh.

‘Geez, are you still on about that?’ you asked as you realised that Cillian didn’t like to be wrong.

‘What can I say Y/N? It kept me up. I had to research it further’ Cillian laughed before handing you a second print out.

‘Oh common’ you laughed as he handed you a thirteen-page research paper on Dicken’s different cats.

‘Perhaps it is you who likes cats’ you then went on to say and Cillian confirmed that he does, in fact, have a ginger cat named Garfield back in Dublin.

‘Garfield? Now that is a creative name for a ginger cat’ you giggled just as Cillian pulled out his phone and showed you a picture.

‘Cute’ you giggled as you looked at the picture while leaning in closer, your arm brushing against Cillian’s arm gently.

Just as your skin lightly touched his, you could feel goose bumps raise all over your body and it was almost as if Cillian had noticed.

He cleared his throat and you startled, collecting your thoughts before telling him that you should probably get back home.

Cillian nodded but, just as you were about to walk out of the door of his office, he called after you.

‘Y/N?’ he asked and you turned around and looked at him while a short ‘yes’ escaped you.

‘Nothing, sorry’ he then went on to say, realising that, what he was about to ask you was highly inappropriate.

‘Alright, uhm, see you later’ you said just as your cheeks turned red instantly.

***

Later that evening, when you arrived at home, Emma had told you that she had a surprise planned for you.

‘I’ve organised a date for you. Tomorrow night. His name is Patrick, he is Irish and a little older than you. He works at the university hospital and he is taking you to see the game tomorrow, Ireland vs France’ Emma said with some excitement.

‘Emma, I am not going on a date with someone I don’t know’ you fussed but Emma was insistent.

‘You haven’t been with anyone for two years Y/N. Common. Despite we are having a party at the apartment and I know you hate frat parties. Just give him a chance’ Emma said and you immediately rolled your eyes.

‘Fine’ you huffed. ‘But I will meet him at the sports bar at 7 o’clock. He isn’t coming here’ you demanded and Emma nodded excitedly.

 Tag List (Cillian):

@lilymurphy03 @deefigs @theflamecrystal @desperate-and-broken @weepingstudentfishhorse @livinginfantaxy @rosey1981 @atomicsoulcollecto @peakyboyslover @nerdy4itall @elenavampire21 @hanster1998 @mariapaiva13 @fairypitou @harry-is-my-sunflower @zozeebo @lauren-raines-x @kasaikawa @littlewierdalien @sad-huffle-nerd @theflamecrystal @peakymalfoyscullymulder @themissthang @0ghostwriter0 @stylescanbeatmyback @1-800-peakyblinders @datewithgianni @momoneymolife @ntmynouis @lilymurphy03 @mcntsee@cloudofdisney @missymurphy1985 @peakymalfoyscullymulder @otterly-fey @janelongxox @uchihacumdump @basiclassy @being-worthy @chaotic-bean-of-smolness @margoo0 @chocolatehalo​ @vhscillian​ @ysmmsy​ @littlewierdalien @crazymar15  ​

Cannot Tag (please check your settings):

@l0tsofpennies @trolleydolly @avonlady1985 @chrisevanshoeee @daydreamingnymph @fookingshelby

[justkending]

Moral of the Story (Prologue)

Series Summary: From childhood friends, to highschool sweethearts, the two naive, young, and lovestruck teens decided the best way to keep a strong relationship during college would be to marry right out of highschool. No one batted an eye at the idea as everyone knew they were soulmates. However, college is a big step in a person’s life. You learn new things about yourself, you make new friends, find new hobbies… And maybe being newly weds and going to different colleges across the states wasn’t the best plan… After a falling out, and a tragic heartbreaking divorce, the two now hold grudges for how the other handled the whole thing in the past. Neither not really knowing both sides of the story. 10 years later, and they both get a call from the lawyers office that settled their divorce. Somehow the papers never went through and the divorce was never completed. So now, the exes, or should we say husband and wife, have to meet back up after all these years to settle their failed marriage once and for all. (This summary will be shorter in other chapters. I just needed to get the full concept out there;)

A/N (repeat): So the other day while I was doing my hair (quite the process), I was playing music and the song Moral of the Story by Ashe came on. Mind you, I’ve heard this song hundreds of times, but for some reason, this time I got a major story idea! Listening to the lyrics brought me to this new series. Of course, the lengthy summary above will give you an idea of what came to my brain, but I recommend you listen to the song still because it plays a big part in my thought process:) (Plus it’s a good song;) Enjoy and please do not hesitate to share your thoughts and comments with me! I love each and every single one<3

(I will release the first chapter at the beginning of next week! That way I can give myself some time to write more chapters before sharing it!)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Y/N (Modern AU)

Word Count: 1200+

Prologue:

"Melody, have the papers for the Bee's Knees company come in yet?"

"Uh, no. But I can call them again and see if they faxed it or sent over a physical copy though," Melody answered from her desk, already typing away to find the company.

"Perfect. We have a meeting with a recycling plant next week and I want to get everything set before we go in with them," Y/N nodded, coming out from her office with a file in her hands. She turned to her assistant at the front desk who was about 20 emails deep and already finding the issue. "Hey, you're not coming in tomorrow, right?"

"Um, no, no. I am. I rescheduled that date," she answered bashfully as if she had been caught in the act of something.

"Melody..." Y/N drug out, hand on her hip.

"What? I- He understood. He said he was fine moving it to Saturday," the young woman shrugged, never looking back at her boss that was clearly sending her a motherly stare.

"You're already over your 40 hours this week, and you've rescheduled with him, what? 3 times now?" Y/N moved to the front of the desk so the young brunette had to make eye contact with her.

"Yes," she answered hesitantly.

"Is it just nerves or something else?" Y/N smirked.

"I'm not nervous... It's just been a while since I've had time for a date."

"Two things about what you just said in the past minute. One, clearly this guy likes you because he's rescheduled with you this many times and hasn't called it off yet. So if you're nervous about it not going well on his end, I think you're safe," Y/N pointed a finger at her.

"But-," Melody started.

"Second," Y/N cut off with a raised eyebrow. "I'm giving you time to go on a date and you're still not taking it. Work is no longer an excuse."

Melody stopped avoiding eye contact and looked up at the Y/H/C hair woman leaning on her reception desk.

"You've been talking with my mom again, haven't you?" she sighed.

"I promised I'd take care of you. So yes, I have. And though her reasoning for you dating is because she wants grandbabies, I just want you to have fun and live your life. You're 22. Don't waste your young years being scared."

"Ugh, fine. I'll text him now and see if he's still available for tonight," she groaned.

"Perfect!" Y/N grinned in victory as she started to walk back to her office. "I expect the details in the morning," she winked before she walked in.

"Oh, Y/N!" Melody stopped her. "A message came for you while you were in that last meeting."

"Who from?" Y/N quirked an eyebrow, moving back to the desk.

"Uh, I don't really know. Didn't sound familiar, but here's the name and number they said to call back from," she answered, handing her a note.

Y/N took the small paper and looked it over. Her face dropped and her eyes widened.

"You ok? Is it someone you know?" the young assistant asked, noticing what looked like horror on her face.

"Um, yeah. Yeah, an old acquaintance of mine," Y/N tried to quickly brush off. "Um, I'm going to take this. Can you hold any calls and if anyone comes to talk, tell them to just email me?"

"Oh, ok. Yeah, I'll take care of it," Melody nodded.

"Thank you."

Rushing back to her office and quickly shutting her door, she raced to her phone. She read the business name again, not sure if she was dreaming or if it was a hallucination.

Nope. Hammer Attorney was written in Melody's perfect penmanship on the paper with a number that held an area code from New York. A place she never thought she would hear from again and from a town she hadn't visited in almost 10 years._________________

"Buck, did you tell Fury about getting those new water therapy machines?" Steve shouted from his room.

"We're at home, Steve. Why are we talking about work?" Bucky groaned as he slouched on the couch. A beer in hand and a documentary with I Survived stories playing in front of him.

Steve came in from around the corner looking down at his phone in hand before moving his eye line to his roommate.

"Because I just got a call from the night crew saying that the last one that was working, finally went out tonight while they were running it for some test," Steve raised an eyebrow.

"Ugh, you would think that a facility run by a billionaire who literally makes his money on high-tech machines, wouldn't have to ask for those kinds of things," Bucky groaned, grabbing his own phone and going through emails. "Let me check to see if the email went through. He wasn't in office when I went to tell him."

As he was sorting through the hundreds of emails sent back and forth just this week alone, he found the reply message.

"Yeah, management confirmed it. They should be in by Saturday it looks like. Guess Stark was still working out the kinks to a new one and was waiting to send one our way until the last one died to get more time on his newest model."

Steve nodded before walking to the kitchen and typing Bucky's response to the other crew members.

"The man is always finding new ways to upgrade them before he can even send them to us."

Just as Bucky was about to throw his phone to the side again though, it started ringing. Looking at the caller ID, he didn't recognize the unknown number. It was from in-state but in his hometown area of Brooklyn. He pinched his eyebrows together confused at the call, but answered it anyway, thinking it must be someone from home.

"Hello?"

"Hello. Is this Mr. Barnes?" The other voice answered.

"Yes, this is him. Who's this?" he asked, sitting up a little and putting the beer on the end table.

"My name is Matthew Murdock. I work at Nelson and Murdock Law firm," he went on. Bucky shook his head not knowing what that was supposed to mean. "Well, you may actually know us previously as Hammer Attorney. We recently just took over their business after some fraud issues."

Bucky's heart stopped. He knew what that name meant.

"I hate to inform you, but we were going through some of their old files. Ones we were informed could be incomplete or done completely incorrectly due to little care in the actual cases, but more so in taking the money."

"Incomplete cases?" Bucky said softly. His brain was still trying to wrap around the conversation.

"Yes, unfortunately, it looks like a lot of cases having to deal with divorces that the past owners handled, were done strictly in order to launder money. They weren't actually certified, nor trained in handling divorce settlements."

Bucky froze. Eyes wide. Mouth agape.

He stuttered out a response when the man on the other line didn't continue.

"A-And talking about incomplete divorce settlements, you called because..." Bucky knew. He needed to hear it out loud because if he didn't, it wasn't true. It couldn't be.

"I'm so sorry Mr. Barnes, but it looks as though you and your wife, Y/N Y/L/N or sorry, Y/N Barnes, are actually not divorced."

(I will release the first chapter at the beginning of next week! That way I can give myself some time to write more chapters before sharing it!)

Moral of the Story Taglist:

@taylormobley @ximaginx @vicmc624

Marvel Tags:

@thejourneyneverendsx @death-unbecomes-you @heyiamthatbitch @lizzymacy555  @srrymydood @xa-dia @redhairedfeistynerd @morganclaire4 @connie326 @captain-asguard @mollygetssherlockcoffee @teenagedreams-bucky @shower-me-with-roses​ @pham-tastical 

My Lovelies forever:

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[bakugosbratx]

Request: Hi! I was wondering if you could write a story when y/n is the crazy one and kidnaps Bakugo. Tysm ! -meena

Warnings: NSFW 18+ Content. Yandere, stalking, kidnapping, cursing, mental illness, blood, abuse, drugs, etc.

Check out my other works here

A/N: Hmm this is a different turn of events. I love it 👀 I hope you enjoyed anon! I went a little wild with this one.

Words: 2.2k

Tags: @awilddreamerwrites @peachsenpie @miriobaby @lanarist @sickchildren @bakugousbrat @ssplague @ahbeautifulexistence @m779 @vinny-likes-to-play21

“Dear Katsuki,

I watched you save a civilian on television today. I know it’s your job and all, but you did not have to save her. Her life is not as important as mine. Do you not cherish what we have? Am I just a nobody to you? This is my 103rd letter to you and still no response. I know your address did not change so do not give me that pathetic excuse, Katsuki Bakugo. Surely, you must remember we are soulmates. We are one. How dare you fucking forget me? I had to rip all of my posters down in a fit of rage. You know how angry that makes me, baby, but it will all be okay, because you are coming home to me. We will be one.

Sincerely,

Yours.”

You burst into a fit of giggles as you kick your bare feet back and forth on his bed. You wrote in black ink and covered the paper in orange hearts since it is the pro-hero’s favorite color. You could not help but leave precious lipstick kisses on the page. Something you always do in your love letters to Katsuki. The posters in your house are covered in them. Katsuki’s beautiful face is just so kissable. You cannot wait to do it tonight.

All you can think about is Katsuki. That is all your day consists of. Your clothing is all his merchandise and his favorite colors. You spend hours upon hours watching interviews, videos, surveillance footage of the hero. When he is out on patrol, you do your best to hide in areas so you can see the hero up close and personal. Your face just beams with joy at the mere glance of him.

You did your best to meet him several times. Any disaster there was to be had, you put on your nicest attire, do your make-up just how you think he likes, and have your hair freshly done. No better way to greet your significant other after hero work than looking like a beauty pageant queen.

Sadly, all your attempts were failures. Katsuki did not even give you the time of day. He is way too focused on beating the villains to a pulp. You did admire this about him, but your own selfish desires created hatred in you. He should be paying attention to you. Not those pesky villains.

Katsuki is sure to receive forty-five letters addressing the issue. All that he will never even skim over. This is only adding fuel to the fire.

The posters that hang in every single room in your apartment are ripped to shreds. Pools of tears covered your orbs, smudging all of your makeup. You climbed onto your black sofa, taking your left high heel and breaking the glass photo of Katsuki hanging there. Shards of glass sprinkle the couch and hardwood floor below. You don't even care for the pieces that collected into your skin. You will worry about that later.

“Fuck you, Katsuki!” You sobbed, ripping his face with your teeth and spitting out the saliva covered photo onto the litter filled floor.

“Pro-Hero Great Explosion Murder God Dynamite saves another civilians life yet again, taking down another member of the league of villains who was terrorizing the victim.”

The news anchor’s words fell on deaf ears as you went to the television screen. You are captivated by your significant other’s beauty on the tv. Blood leaked from your freshly manicured hands. They are painted orange and black as always.

“Oh, Katsuki,” you sighed with a smile, tracing a heart around his face with your leaking blood, “we will be together soon. I promise, baby. I’ll take you away from this sick, cruel world so we can live happily ever after.”

You were serious that day. You planned it on your calendar. The countdown began on the night you are going to be one with Katsuki. A day you knew you both looked forward to.

“Dear Katsuki,

Did you miss me? I know I missed you. I even stamped this letter in my blood so you can have my DNA to mix with yours. I can’t wait to procreate with you. We will make such wonderful babies, don’t ya think? They will be so beautiful like you. I will be such an excellent mother. No woman can be a great wife to you like I can. Do you understand me?”

You had to pause writing as your blood started to boil at the thought. Your pen is already creating a huge ink spot from the anger consuming your hands. Small growls escaped your parted lips as you began to growl.

“If I can’t have you, no one can, Katsuki Bakugo. I am your one true love. You're one and only. And I’ll make sure that day comes. Just a few more days, baby, and we will be one.

Sincerely,

Yours.”

The day finally came. You knew Katsuki’s schedule by heart. You loved watching him do his morning routines with the security cameras you placed in his home. The poor male never even thought to check. Such a mistake on his part. It only confirmed he needed protection from the world. Only you can provide that. Sure, you may be quirkless, but no one knows Katsuki like you do. No one can love him like you. He knows this. He has to.

You drew a luke-warm bubble bath with nice lit candles, rose pedals, a few drops of your blood, and some freshly made desserts for you both to enjoy while you catch up. You are even so kind enough to fetch him a beer or two so he can relax. You know how he enjoys his alcoholic beverages after a long day of hero work.

You rested on his bed. The natural caramel scent engulfed your nostrils as you wrote letters into your notebook once more. Even when you two are officially together forever, you still love to write out your thoughts. You know he enjoys them as well.

Hours upon hours passed. Frustration arose overtime. You did not want to be angry with your spouse, but he knows better than to be home late on your special day. You have almost filled up your notepad with phrases upon phrases of ‘I love you’s’ and sweet nothings. Along with other things.

You tapped your bandages covered foot on the ground as you began to pace. “What is taking him so long?” You huffed aloud, growing more impatient by each passing second. The bath is beginning to become cold and that is just rude in your opinion. You decided to write out your emotions.

“Dear Katsuki,

What the fuck is taking you so long, huh? It’s so fucking aggervating and just plain rude. I have done so much for you only to toss me to the side like I’m nothing. Are you cheating on me? I do not tolerate disrespect, Katsuki Bakugo. You are going to make me mean and you know I hate being mean to you. You just make me jealous, baby. You know how you do that to me. Make me feel all types of emotion I can’t seem to understand, but one thing is for certain is that you and I will be together.

Sincerely,”

You did not even get to finish your final entry as you hear the front door downstairs unlock. Scrambling to put the diary away, you gather the necessary items from under the bed and wait for the perfect moment to strike. Katsuki’s natural loud ways was helping you locate his every move without even having to look at security footage.

All you have to do is be patient.

Katsuki sat on the couch, propping his sock-covered feet onto the glass coffee table and turning on the television. You allowed him some moments to get settled before gently tip-toeing down the stairs, rope, duct tape, and a blunt object ready in hand.

Just as Katsuki turned to acknowledge your presence, the crowbar hit his head, knocking him unconscious. You quickly attend to his wound — not without dropping some droplets of blood into his — so it does not get offended. You cannot have your husband getting an infection.

You tie up his hands and legs, duct tape his mouth after delivering kisses to his perfectly plump lips, and drag him to the kitchen. You did not realize how much your lover really weighed. Too much time was wasted dragging him to the fridge than preferred, but it will all be worth it in the end. You know it will be.

Katsuki did not wake up until the next day. You stayed by his side the whole time, telling him about your day and how much you have planned for you two. Of course, he needs to build his trust with you. You love a very intelligent man and the last thing you need is for him to be against you.

Slowly opening his crimson eyes, his attention is brought to a grinning you. Katsuki immediately attempts to escape the captivity he is in, but it is no use. You just had to buy special rope that cancels quirks.

“Struggle all you want, Katsuki-poo. There is no escaping me.” You chuckled, loving the way he squirmed and furrowed his eyebrows at you. All of his curses are mumbled by the tape which is probably the best considering you did not want to be insulted right now.

“When you calm down, I’ll take off the tape.” You bargained, shrugging nonchalantly as you kneel in front of the man. Did this calm him down? No. You know it wouldn’t regardless. You know Katsuki better than he knows himself yet you already want to push his buttons. The way he gets so angry turns you on and you can’t just help yourself but want more.

After a couple of hours of Katsuki complaining and you writing even more in your diary, he decided to calm down. This made you happy. You wanted to hear his beautiful gruff voice.

Grabbing the corner of the tape, you rip it off. Katsuki is already barking insults. “Are you fucking insane? Who the hell even are you? This isn’t going to end well with you, you psycho bit—“

A hard slap to his face interrupted Katsuki’s spill. Along with the duct tape you placed back on his mouth. “Such a meanie,” you pout, “and here I was about to be so nice to you.”

This cycle repeated itself for three days. You never left his side once. How could you? He is obviously in distress. He needs you by his side. He cannot do anything without you. Especially with his hands tied behind his muscular back. Katsuki finally decided that playing the game is the only way to win it.

You ripped the tape off once again. Katsuki did not even speak this time. “Did you learn your lesson?” You quizzed with an arched brow. “Y’know being a meanie is not going to get you anywhere, Katsukikins.”

“Why are you doing this?” Katsuki inquired, his gruff voice sounding so weak and hollow. You almost felt bad.

“You’re so silly, Suki. C’mon,” you brought your lips close to his, “gimme a kiss.”

Reluctantly, Katsuki did as instructed. Considering you are straddling his lap and his powers are useless, he has no choice in the matter. You loved the compliance.

“Good boy.” You praised, ruffling his messy blonde hair. Katsuki glared at you. “Will you be good and eat some food for me?”

“I don’t want your stupid ass food.” Katsuki growled, laying his head against the bottom freezer of his fridge.

“Nonsense, Suki.” You giggled, feeling extremely joyful to be with Katsuki. You bring a spoon of Miso soup up to his closed lips, “have some. I blew on it so it’s not too hot.”

“Get that trash away from me, you idiot—“ Katsuki was interrupted by a spoon entering his mouth. Though he would hate to admit this, the soup tasted delicious and he is quite hungry. He put up a fight, but allowed you to feed him properly until every drop was gone. Unfortunately, Katsuki is unaware that the soup is drugged until it’s too late.

His body began to feel numb. He did not even have the strength to ask questions as his eyes became drowsy. Soon, he is slumped over, sound asleep as you manage to drag him up the stairs and into your shared bed.

Planting kisses all over structures, you tuck him in and finish some late night entries in your diary. Skimming through them all and reflecting on how you got here now, it made you smile. Progress has been made and will continue to do so.

Signing off on the final page, you write:

“Dear Katsuki,

These past three days have been exhilarating. I see it in your terrified eyes how happy you are that I am here. I know how much you missed me. I missed you, too, baby. We will continue to grow and soon, we will have children. I even have my menstrual cycle all planned out. I am all yours and you’re all mine. Can’t you see, baby doll? We are forever meant to be.

Sincerely,

Yours.”

©bakugosbratx

All Rights Reserved

[kaistarus]

Caught In The Act

Pairing: HinataxReader

Words: 3K

Summary: You don’t really plan out the consequences of hooking up with your roommates best friend until she walks in on the aftermath and everything spirals into disaster

A/N: I don’t think this is NSFW, but it’s heavily implied/referred to throughout? It does however have Yamaguchi being a little shit which is *chefs kiss* my favorite kind of Yamaguchi

Masterlist

The worst melody you’d ever heard sounded throughout your room, dragging you from a peaceful dream you’d already forgotten. Groaning, you attempted to block out the sharp ringing with your comforter, but scowled when your tugs were made useless by an unusual weight. You blearily peeked down in search of the problem and froze, your heart's acceleration jolted your brain into alertness.

What you discovered to be holding your blanket down was a whole ass arm across your stomach with a whole ass person attached to it sleeping beside you.

You tried to keep your breathing even as you grasped the reality of your situation-disheveled autumn hair brushed lightly against your shoulder and soft breaths tickled your arm. It’d be easier to admire Hinata’s content features if you weren’t having numerous flashbacks involving embarrassing noises, words you didn’t think possible coming out of your mouth, and several explanations for why your legs were so sore. Your face burned as you stared at Hinata’s peaceful expression in horror and jumped when the back-up alarm began ringing.

At your sudden movement Hinata’s nose wrinkled and he began squirming uncomfortably. He furrowed his brow, opening his enough to peek at you holding your breath beneath his arm. You could see the cogs turning behind his amber eyes as they darted around the room and took everything in past their sleepy haze.

Finally, they landed back on you and he gave you a lazy smile, “hey.”

Your heart picked up its pace at his morning voice’s low rasp, and rather than having any normal reaction to your situation you flung your limbs at him to shove him as far away as possible. Hinata yelped as he tumbled over the side of your bed, hitting the hardwood floor with a solid thump.

“What the hell?” He poked his head over the side of your mattress with a half-assed glare, punctuating his question with a deep yawn. It was hard to take him seriously with his wild bed head and half-lidded eyes.

“Your alarm keeps going off,” you answered lamely, trying to fight down the amusement at how even after he combed his fingers through his hair it remained a chaotic mess.

“Oh,” he used your bed to push himself up, stumbling a bit as he began searching for where his pants ended up. Your eyes widened when all of him was in sight and you pulled the comforter up to shield your eyes. “Sorry, I forgot that I have to-what’s wrong?”

“You’re not wearing clothes.”

“Obviously,” you heard the creaking of your dorm’s shitty floorboards as Hinata moved around the room. “Is that bad? I feel like at some point you saw my-”

“But now we’re in the daytime,” you looked at the floor around you and sighed in relief when you found a t-shirt nearby to put on. Now you just needed pants… “Everything is completely different when the sun is out.”

Hinata was silent for a while and if it wasn’t for the hardwood flooring giving him away you would’ve thought he snuck out. “That doesn’t make any sense.”

“It’s hard to explain,” you said, coming up for air after you heard Hinata stand beside your bed. He held out his sweatpants to you with a lopsided grin that made your heart do a weird flip. “Thanks.”

He shrugged it off, sitting beside you on the mattress as you wiggled into his sweatpants. “I have to practice with Kageyama in an hour. Do you wanna go to the dining hall or something?”

You raised a brow at his nonchalance, sitting beside you just scrolling his phone like things were completely normal. “You want to go get food?”

“Yeah, I’m hungry.” He gave you a quick once-over and smirked. “Why did you wanna do something else?”

“No,” you put your hands in front of you and ignored the slight pout on his face. “I just figured you would want to talk or something.”

“Oh,” he fiddled with his cellphone and stared at anything that wasn’t your eyes. “No, we don’t have to make it a huge thing if you don’t want to.”

“Okay,” you nodded to yourself. “I mean, it isn’t a big deal anyway. We’re friends and this stuff just happens sometimes.”

Hinata now faced you completely and he was giving you his classic sunshine smile. “Exactly, this is definitely normal for friends.”

“Right, so why even waste energy worrying about something that meant absolutely nothing.”

Hinata’s smile faltered a bit and you were too aware of how his eyes had drifted to your lips. “Uh-huh, totally nothing.”

“It’s probably best if no one finds out though,” you nodded to yourself, warmth creeping up your neck from the growing intensity of his stare. “Just because it would be annoying explaining this to everyone.”

Hinata hummed, tilting his head with a curious look that had you fisting your comforter. “So, hypothetically, if it all means nothing and no one even knows about it…” Hinata had at some point scooted himself a little too close for your liking, his face inches from yours. “There would be nothing wrong with doing it again, right?”

You narrowed your eyes at his challenging smirk, “I feel like there’s some logic missing there.”

“But the end result is pretty good,” he said, barely above a whisper, pressing his forehead against yours. You couldn’t argue that. Not with how your heart was beating sporadically in your chest and your fingers were already itching to be tangled in his hair.

“Careful,” you whispered, trying to match his overconfidence, “keep acting like this and I might just start thinking it means something.”

Hinata rubbed his nose against yours lazily while forcing down a smile, “is that a no?”

You answered by placing a hand against his cheek and slotting your lips together. The pace he set was much more languid than last night and you felt a soft smile grace his lips as he cradled the back of your head, beginning to lower your head on to the mattress. The moment Hinata decided to hover over you was when you heard the door to your dorm creak open.

“Hey, sorry I’m back so early. I forgot about our exam tomorrow.” Yachi shouldered passed the door with her back facing you carrying a hefty duffle. You and Hinata reacted in the only logical way-staying completely frozen and hoping for some reason she wouldn’t see you. “Did you and Hinata actually study without me or did you… forget…”

When she looked over her shoulder, eyes finally locking onto the comical scene you’d presented, her jaw went slack and face turned a deep red.

“Wait, Yachi,” you tried stopping her before she dropped her bag and quickly hurried out the door. “It’s not what it looks like!”

Hinata looked taken aback by your statement, “what else could it possibly be?”

You glared at him, kicking him off you and chasing after Yachi-before leaving the room you heard a faint ‘again?’ shouted from the opposite side of your bed. Yachi hadn’t sped-walked too far and you thankfully managed to catch her at the end of the hall.

“Yachi, wait,” you tugged her hand to slow her down. “I swear it wasn’t what it looked like.”

That made her pause. She looked at you dumbfounded with both hands on her hips, “what else could it possibly be?”

“That’s what I said!”

You spun around to find Hinata, standing in the center of the hallway with arms crossed and staring at you quizzically as if you were the weird one in this situation. You gave him a quick once-over to confirm that yes, he was still wearing nothing but boxers.

“What are you doing?” You asked him frantically.

“Helping.”

“Why would you think-” You pinched the bridge of your nose and took a calming breath. “At least put some clothes on, Hinata.”

“You’re wearing all of my clothes,” he said, gesturing to all of you.

You pulled your t-shirt out while glancing down with a raised brow. Huh, well look at that.

“I really don’t care if you guys are dating,” Yachi put her hands up defensively. “It’s not a big deal and it’s really none of my business any-”

“That’s just it,” you pointed at her. “We aren’t dating. Not even close. I would never date Hinata.”

“What?” Hinata looked down at you annoyed. “Why not?”

“Because you’re…” You furrowed your brow, trying to search for any of the reasons that normally would be easy to find, but for some reason your mind was blank. “Because you’re Hinata.”

“If anything that’s more reason to date me,” Hinata gestured to himself. “Look at me. I’m the whole package.”

Yachi’s eyes flickered between you before she hid a sly smile behind her hand, “oh, I see.”

Hinata cocked his head to the side, “what do you see?”

Your cheeks warmed. “You don’t see anything. You put that face away right now.”

Hinata began prying Yachi for answers while she continuously turned away from him with a mischievous smile. You let out a relieved sigh that it was basically over when a door at the opposite end of the hall creaked open and you were faced with a yawning Yamaguchi.

He carried his toothbrush and toothpaste loosely in one hand while the other rubbed sleep from his eyes. He raised a brow at you three, slowly working to process the scene before him in his still foggy state. Yamaguchi’s head tilted idly as his eyes darted between everyone, eventually lifting his toothbrush and pointing it in Hinata’s direction.

“Why is Hinata wearing boxers in the middle of our dorm building?” He narrowed his eyes further and moved the toothbrush to point at you, “and why are you wearing Hinata’s clothes?” Yamaguchi aimed the toothbrush slowly toward your door that still hung wide open and you could practically see the lightbulb go off in his mind before the devious smirk crossed his lips. “Holy shit. Did you guys actually f-”

“Shut up,” you slammed your hands over your ears. “I don’t want to think about it.”

“Ouch,” Yamaguchi mockingly grimaced at Hinata. “That’s not a good reaction dude.”

“What do you-that’s not what-” Hinata stomped his foot. “It was a great time. Probably one of the best ones ever.”

“Whoa, let’s not get crazy.” You rolled your eyes. “You were alright, but definitely not-”

“Wha-alright?” Hinata threw his arms up. “The hell do you mean ‘alright’?”

“I think she means mediocre,” Yachi piped up from behind you with her hands still covering her smile.

“A little above mediocre, but…” you weighed your hands back and forth to signal that mediocre was just about right and Hinata stared at you completely baffled.

“Ouch,” Yamaguchi snickered.

“I can’t believe you thought I was mediocre,” Hinata furrowed his brow with a half-assed glare.

“Well, do you want me to lie to you?” You scoffed, crossing your arms. “Hinata, you almost came in your pa-”

He slapped a hand over your mouth with pinkening cheeks, “you know what? I think we all are mediocre sometimes at things, but with practice… uh… we get better.”

Yamaguchi raised an amused brow before another lightbulb went off. “Holy shit, so that means you guys were the ones who-oh my god, Tsuki’s going to be pissed when he finds out.”

“Pissed about what?” You asked after prying Hinata’s hand off your mouth.

“I woke up to a bunch of texts about how he couldn’t study because people were banging too loud,” Yamaguchi shrugged. “I’m a heavy sleeper, so I didn’t notice but he was not happy.”

“Holy shit, are you serious?” Hinata asked, sounding borderline giddy at the discovery. You scowled, smacking on the stomach to knock him down a peg.

“Hinata, that’s humiliating.”

“Oh, right.” Hinata forced a frown. “I am so embarrassed.”

“Think about it,” Yachi tapped her chin. “Doesn’t Tsukishima always wear headphones too?”

Yachi and Yamaguchi stared at you both quietly with wicked smiles before you groaned dramatically into your hands, your face was on fire while Hinata just laughed beside you, planting a hand not so comfortingly on your head. You knew in that moment your life could not get any worse.

Which was why that was the moment Tsukishima stepped out of his room a few doors away with his backpack slung over his shoulder. You almost thought you’d be lucky enough that he wouldn’t notice you, but luck wasn’t on your side as he glanced up, doing a double take at your group in the center of the hall.

It took him seconds to dissect the scene before his glare became piercing, “you mother fuckers.”

“What are the chances we all just pretend this never happened?” Hinata chuckled awkwardly while Tsukishima stomped menacingly toward him.

“What are the chances I get the sound of you moaning out of my head without someone killing me?”

“Slim?” Hinata squeaked.

“Do you think I wanted that bull shit taking up useful space in my brain?” He asked, towering over Hinata as he gulped and shook his head no. Tsukishima turned to you and you stiffened, immediately shooting your stare to your feet, “and you, forcing me to learn every one of Hinata’s kinks. I should take both of you outback and-”

“I don’t have kinks,” Hinata scoffed, turning to you to back him up, but you just looked away. “Oh fuck, do I have kinks?”

“That is not the point of our discussion, you pint-sized-”

“But aren’t kinks like a psychology thing?” Hinata looked back at you concerned. “It’s not pee, is it?”

“Why would that-I don’t know,” you looked at him warily. “Did you want to pee on me?”

“I don’t think so.”

“What do you mean ‘i don’t think so’.”

“I don’t give a fuck if you’re peeing on each other,” Tsukishima pinched the bridge of his nose. “Just do it at Hinata’s dorm building next time.”

“That won’t be a problem.”

“Yeah, I’m pretty confident it’s not pee.” Hinata nodded to himself. “I really like volleyball… is that a kink? I don’t know if that’s how it works. Wait, can you combine sex and volleyball? That sounds like a kink. I want that one. Can that be it?”

“I would love to study your mind, dude.” Yamaguchi nodded in approval and Hinata just smiled back as if he’d been given a huge compliment.

“That’s not what I-” You took a calming breath. Hinata was going to be the death of you. “I mean, me and Hinata aren’t happening again, so no one has to worry about anything.”

“Wait, you guys aren’t secretly dating?” Yamaguchi gestured between you both with a raised brow.

“No, they’re hooking up.” Yachi rolled her eyes.

“Oh, fuck off.” Tsukishima scoffed. “Hinata keep your volleyball sex out of my dorm buiding. Got it?”

“Yes sir,” Hinata saluted before a melodious tune came ringing from your dorm room. His eyes darted to a wall clock and his body stiffened. “Shit, I was supposed to be at the gym already.”

“I should probably give you-” Before you could finish Hinata was jogging down the hall. He returned with his backpack and you opened your mouth to point out you were still wearing all of his clothes, but he already had his lips smashed against yours in a chaste kiss. You had your eyes wide, staring at him dumbfounded before he pulled away with a sunshine smile.

The moment he processed what he’d done you saw his brain shut down as he stared blankly-Yachi’s giggling made a perfect background noise for his malfunction.

“What the hell was-”

“We’ll talk about that later,” he chuckled awkwardly, giving you finger guns while walking backwards down the hall. “I’ll text you or call you or something.”

“I won’t answer,” you called after.

“You will,” he said before he turned away. “Because I’m gonna offer you food and you love free food.”

Dammit. He had you there. You were a sucker for anything that wasn’t dining hall food. “Well, I won’t be happy about it!”

You heard his laughter chime before the closing of a heavy door told you he was too far to keep up the argument. You huffed, crossing your arms and glaring down the hall.

“How long till he realizes he’s in his boxers?” Yamaguchi piped up.

“He’s probably more nervous of (Y/N) than walking around campus in his underwear,” Yachi reasoned with a hand on her cheek.

“He should be,” you snorted.

“You guys wanna get breakfast?” Yamaguchi asked, “all this making fun of Hinata has made me hungry.”

“I’m going to the library.” Tsukishima left down the hall without a glance back at you and your shoulders sagged.

“He’ll get over it,” Yachi placed a comforting hand on your shoulder while pushing you forward. “Just give him time.”

“Okay,” you murmured.

“Hey, so what is Hinata’s kink?” Yamaguchi asked, leaning into your vision.

You rolled your eyes, “praise.”

“That makes too much sense,” Yachi hummed.

“Hinata would get off on being told he’s great,” Yamaguchi shook his head, throwing the door open at the end of the hall and welcoming the fresh air. “Well, next time you get to have volleyball-sex. Whatever the fuck that is.”

“I don’t think even Hinata knows that.” Yachi giggled.

As you tried to keep up with Yamaguchi and Yachi combining the actual logistics of volleyball to sex you found yourself admitting in the back of your mind that you really were all talk. You kind of liked that people knew about you and Hinata and maybe… maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if spending time with him became a regular thing.

Unless it involved whatever this volleyball-sex thing was, then you’d be fine without him.

[cherryobx]

Environmentalists//Kiara Carrera x reader

request:

summary: You are an environmentalist who moves to the Outer Banks. When Kiara hears about you, she knows she has to meet you.

warnings: language (1 word lol), fluff, kissing ig

WC: 1,7k

(not my gif, creds to the owner!!!)

You had been planning on moving for a while now. You wanted a quieter life away from big cities and cars honking every two seconds. You hated it. You absolutely hated it. You had known since you were a little girl that this wasn't the life for you.

You were luckily quite wealthy and you had enough money to start a new life somewhere else. When you talked to your parents about moving, they were very supportive of the idea. You told them about where you wanted to move and that you wanted to build your own house there. You had enough money so why not.

So, you quit your job in the city, packed most of your belongings with you and moved to the Outer Banks. Kildare to be specific. The decision to move there wasn’t hard. You had visited the place a few years back and you fell in love with it. It was the most beautiful place to you in the whole world.

When you first arrived there you checked out the property you had bought. The work there had already begun and the fundamentals of the house were already there. It was a good idea to start the process of building before you had even arrived. Your dad had helped you hire a group of people who knew what they were doing but you wanted to hire a few locals as well.

The one thing you decided on was that you wanted to stay on your property while it was being built. So, you rented yourself a caravan to live in.

When JJ and John B saw that there was a really good job opportunity, they decided to take it. The place they needed to work at wasn’t even far away from the chateau so it was the perfect job for them.

“Hey! You’re JJ and John B, right?” you asked the two boys who were walking up to you. They both gave you a confirming nod.

“Yay, I remembered your names,” you giggled. “So the guys are already working over there,” you pointed towards them, “so go over there and ask them what you have to do. And if you want to drink some water or eat some snacks, I set up a table for you all as well. If you have any questions I’ll be in that caravan.”

John B and JJ gave each other a look. It was their first day, they hadn’t even done anything yet, but you were being so unbelievably nice to them. It was something new for them since their other bosses in the past had treated them like shit.

A few months passed and the house was coming together. You had some finishing touches you still needed though. Like solar panels.

You were an environmentalist and doing everything in your power to change the world for the better. But it was hard because humanity had already done so much damage that it was really hard to make anything happen. However, you really tried. Change happens with one person at a time - a sentence you liked to live by.

“Yes, just put them over there for now. We’ll deal with them on Monday. It’s too late anyways. Go home, get some sleep.” You stood by and gave orders as the builders carried the panels one by one. Once they were finished, everyone went home.

“How does she have that much money though? That’s my question,” JJ said, opening the fridge and taking out two bottles of beer, offering one to his friend.

“Her parents are probably rich.” John B shrugged as he took the beer from JJ and popped the cap off.

“Yeah, but like solar panels?”

“What solar panels?” Kie asked as she walked into the kitchen. It was Friday night. That’s when they got together with the pogues to just drink and hang out. Pope was on his way as well.

She hopped onto one of the counters, very interested in the answer that was about to come. “You know that girl who moved here a few months back, our boss?”

“You mean the one who’s building her own house?”

“Yeah, her. She bought solar panels and they arrived today. We’re setting them up on Monday.” Suddenly Kie became very fascinated by her friends’ boss.

“What is she like?” she asked.

“Really nice. The best boss ever, for sure,” JJ said, taking a swig from his bottle.

John B continued. “Umm she’s a few years older than us. Sometimes she sits close where we are, watches us work and just talks to us. She’s an environmentalist, so the house we’re building is really energy efficient. And yes, she’s the best boss. She pays us generously and we get the right amount of breaks. She even gets us snacks and water. I don’t really know, that’s about it.”

“She sounds really cool. Can I come with you on Monday?” Kie asked, a hopeful look on her face. As soon as John B said that you were an environmentalist she knew she had to meet you. There weren’t many girls like you on the island. Plus, you seemed to be super awesome. She could use someone like you in her life.

“Uhh I don’t know.” John B looked at JJ and he looked back at him smirking. “Kie, you haven’t even met her and you’re already crushing on her.”

Kie rolled her eyes. “Ugh, shut up. Can I come or not?”

They agreed, so on Monday Kiara walked to work with them. She was nervous to say the least. JJ had been right. She hadn’t even seen or met you but she was already hooked. She had fixed her hair at least 10 times before getting there.

“Calm down, Kie,” JJ chuckled, patting Kie on the back.

Then she saw you and she swore her heart stopped beating for a second. You were nothing like she had imagined. You were even more beautiful. She loved the way your hair was moving in the light morning breeze or how you smiled and gestured with your hands as you were talking to your employees. It was like your smile was brighter than the sun. She was so invested in watching you, she almost tripped.

To her luck, JJ caught her just in time. “Relax, Romeo.”

As they walked closer, you finally noticed them coming towards you. You were a bit confused, seeing a girl with them. You smiled and waved at them. They waved back.

“Good morning, John B and JJ!”

“Good morning!” The boys said in unison, making you laugh.

“And who are you?” you turned to Kiara with a warm simile. “I’m Kiara,” she introduced herself, offering you a hand to shake which you did.

“I’m Y/N.” Kiara smiled as she repeated your name under her breath.

“Well, we better go...you know...do some work and stuff.” JJ and John B ran off as you and Kiara stayed back.

“So, what brings you here today?” you asked.

“Umm, I’m friends with John B and JJ and they told me a little about you. They told me that you are an environmentalist?”

“Yes, I am.”

“Me too! When they told me about you I knew I had to meet you. There aren’t many activists around here so…”

“They told you about me?”

“Yeah. I heard them talking about some solar panels and then it led to the conversation about you. They told me great things about you.”

You and Kiara talked for almost an hour before she asked if you’d been to her parents' restaurant. You told her that you hadn’t.

“Well, I can take you there if you’d like to.” She was really hoping that you want to.

“Sure, I haven’t had breakfast yet anyway.”

You grabbed your bike and told Kie to sit on the rack of your bicycle. You didn’t have a car and the reason was simple. You didn’t need one. Why buy a car and waste money on gas (which is harmful to the environment) when you could just use your bicycle to get around. The island wasn’t that huge.

Kie was hesitant at first but you told her that you’d get there quicker. Then she finally agreed to get on the bike. “Wrap your arms around me.” Kie’s heart started beating faster as she did so. You were so close to each other now.

You two rode to the Wreck in about 20 minutes. The silence was comfortable around you two. It was like you’d known each other for years. In reality, it’d been an hour. Well, that’s probably what it was like to meet someone you’re so similar to, someone you connect with.

After eating, Kie took you to her favourite places on the island. You two spent the entire day together. You really liked her. She had this specific energy that matched yours. You felt like you had found the one.

The day ended with you two sitting on the edge of a dock, watching the sunset. You leaned closer to Kie and rested your head on her shoulder. It was a beautiful moment. A one you were sure you’d cherish forever.

Kie smiled. She was happy. Like really happy. She hadn’t felt like this in a while. She liked you as well and really hoped that the feelings were mutual. It was a once-in-a-lifetime thing to find a person you liked like this. She had known you for only a day but she could imagine a future with you.

So when you rose your head to look at Kie, she shot her shot.

She pressed her lips against yours and gave you a short and sweet kiss that left her wanting more now once she’d tasted your lips.

When she pulled away, you had a shocked expression on your face. You weren’t expecting that. But you liked the butterflies it gave you.

“Oh shit! I’m so sorry. I thought-”

You shut her up by kissing her again, but this time deeper. The butterflies in your belly flew at a rapid speed as your lips moved against each other. She placed her hand on your cheek to pull you in even closer.

The kiss ended when you ran out of air and needed a breath. Your foreheads rested against each other as you were catching your breath.

This felt right. All of it. You couldn’t wait for what destiny had planned for you two.

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[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Omertà👄17

Warnings: noncon sexual acts and rape.

This is dark!Bucky and dark! Loki and explicit (with sides of dark!Steve and dark!Thor). Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: Your father was a bookie and taught you everything you know about numbers. After his death, you were taken on as a bookkeeper for Loki Laufeyson, resident crime boss in Manhattan. But can you keep your place in the background when a man from Brooklyn threatens to drag you to the forefront?

Note: uh, yeah, here’s an update!

Thank you. Love you guys!

As always, if you can, please leave some feedback, like and reblog <3

masterlist

You were surprised and relieved that both men heeded your warning and left you alone. Even so, you slept with the club-like lamp close at hand and woke early as you went over the ideas brewing in your head. If you saw this casino through, you wouldn’t survive much longer. You doubted you’d even make it to the opening at this point.

You wore a tight black wrap dress that bared your thigh when you sat. You checked your reflection and preened before you grabbed your purse and headed for Loki’s room. You had to make this convincing. You had to work with Loki, not against him. Just for a time.

You knocked and tapped your heel on the hotel carpet. The door opened and Loki greeted you in a half-button shirt, untucked, and uncombed hair. His jaw twitched and he backed up a step as he let out a long breath.

“You’re early,” he nodded you inside. As you entered, he swung the door closed and finished buttoning his shirt. He strode around the room, tidied from the night before though still smelling of wine, and took his tie from the end table. He looped it as you lingered by the door.

“I think we should talk,” you said.

“We should?” he scoffed as he straightened his tie.

“About business,” you offered, “that’s why we’re here and we’ll get nothing done if we keep on like this.”

“All would be in order if you did not insist on being a stubborn bi--”

“Loki,” you curtailed his insult, “I mean it. Send me back to New York, just for a day.”

“I need you here.”

“I’ll stay until the morning but… Bucky told me some things about Diablo.”

“Diablo?” Loki squinted as he took a sleek black comb and looked into the mirror hung from the wall.

“You want me to show my loyalty to you, that’s what I’m doing.” You watched him comb his dark hair. “You own my bounty so what good is it to betray you? I owe you.”

He slapped the comb against his palm and turned to you. He set it aside and winced. He rolled his shoulder where you’d hit him and rubbed it.

“You’ve a far way to go to trust,” he warned.

“Look, you know how men like Bucky are. You think he doesn’t talk after… well, you know? He likes to boast. This whole casino business, that’s proof alone that Diablo is working behind your back. You might not trust me but you should trust him even less.”

“What are you proposing, pet?” he pulled on his jacket and yawned.

“Send me back to New York with Thor. I’ll need protection. You stay here. You can tell Bucky you sent me to keep me away from him or whatever makes your ego feel better.”

“Pet--” he began and you waved away his caution.

“Whatever,” you pressed, “you send me there and I will not return without answers. Diablo thinks he owns the city, that he owns me. He got on over on you with this seaside sty and I don’t think he should get away with that.”

“Why would you do any of this?”

“Because it’s my head as much as yours, because, as much as I hate to admit it, I’d rather be owned by you then Diablo.”

“And how will you get these answers?” Loki came near and looked down his nose at you.

“Hmm,” you smiled coyly, “all you men think my father left me alone with nothing. I know everyone he knew, I’m the sweet little girl who used to carry colouring books around to all the meetings. And as little as I knew her, I learned from my mother. Women have a way of snaking their way through the desert of bad men and we find sisterhood in our tolerance of their bad deeds. Diablo has girls coming and going, he tosses them away and do you think they appreciate him for that?”

Loki considered you and his lips threatened to curve. He ran his fingertips along his lapel and tilted his head.

“You are clever, aren’t you?” he asked.

“I make do,” you shrugged, “you keep me here and Bucky’s gonna keep playing this game. Don’t you think that’s a little too convenient for Diablo? He’s distracting both of you, he’s got you both of New York… why is that?”

Loki poked his tongue through his teeth and tsked. He turned away and swirled his finger through the air as he thought.

“I have been distracted, by you most of all,” he mulled, “I suppose it would be wise to figure out Diablo’s game and to get you away from that pitbull hounding my business.”

You were quiet, you had to let Loki think it was all in his hands. He went to the window and looked out, he let out a low snicker.

“See out the day, darling, and return to me tonight. I should like a proper goodbye before you go,” he checked his watch as he turned on his heel, “I will allow you a day in the city and you will return with the information you’ve promised me. I do not appreciate those who waste my time, you know that.”

“I do,” you confirmed, “and I’m done wasting my own.”

“Well then,” he crossed the room and his hand skirted up your side, “let us go on and face the day.”

You turned and reached for the door handle. He stopped your hand before you could twist it.

“I did not forget last night. It will not happen again or that little asterisk should disappear from my ledger, understood?”

You looked him in the face and held his eye. You nodded, “understood.”

“Very well,” he brushed his hand across your ass and gave a light slap, “go on.”

👄

You arrived at the casino before the other men. Loki saw you to your office and huffed about his brother’s usual lateness. Bucky and his men appeared shortly after and the builders continued their work in a storm of hammers and drills. 

You sat with your ledger as Thor winked at you before following his brother from the office. He was anything but subtle but you could use his lechery to your advantage. You bent over the columns but did not see the numbers. Instead, you went over your plot.

Men, you realised a little too late, were easy. You just had to appeal to their most basic instincts. Feed their egos and you could feed yourself. You bit your lip as you shoved down your anxiety. There were many ways this could go wrong.

You were surprised to look up and find Bucky in your doorway. His arms were crossed as he watched you. He bit his thumb as he came closer and dropped his hands to hook his thumbs in his pocket.

“You’re going away tomorrow,” he said as he pulled up a chair and sat. “Your boss is a coward. Sending you away. I know he just can’t stand the idea of you and me, sweetheart.”

You looked at him and nodded. He leaned back and cracked his neck.

“That’s quite a swing you got. Hell of an arm.” He chuckled, “can’t say it didn’t hurt.”

You swallowed and set down your pencil. “I shouldn’t have done that.”

“Oh, you should’ve hit us harder,” he bent his arm against the chair and rubbed his index with his thumb. “I’m sorry you had to see that.”

You looked down and batted your lashes. Your thoughts whirred and you fought to still them.

“Ah, sweetheart, this is messy, isn’t it?”

“He’ll never let me go,” you said softly, “he won’t.”

Bucky was quiet. You heard his sole scrape the floor and the chair creaked. “But you want away from him?”

“Of course I do,” you looked up tearily, “but I know how he is. It’s why--” you sniffed, “well, you don’t care about all that. You only want one thing.”

He frowned and lowered his hand as he leaned forward. “Now sweetheart, you know I like you for more than that. I wouldn’t still be chasin’ you around if I didn’t.”

You scoffed and shook your head. “Don’t lie to me.”

He raised a brow and sighed. “I know I haven’t been… gentle but I didn’t lie when I said I’d give you better.”

“You can’t--”

“He’s sending you with his brother, right?”

You furrowed your brow and nodded. “He doesn’t trust me,” you said, “and he’s mad. He wants to punish me.”

Bucky poked his cheek with his tongue and thought. “You really knocked some sense into me, sweetheart, and I hate to see what he made you do last night. I’d never make you walk around like that in front of other men. You’d be mine, only mine.”

“You shouldn’t be saying all this.”

“He shouldn’t be sending you away.”

“Well,” you threw your hands up, “what can I do?”

“You do nothing,” he said, “all you gotta do is what I tell you.”

“I don’t--”

“I’ll take care of Loki and I got men who can deal with his dumb brother,” Bucky intoned, “you just gotta say the word.”

Your heart hammered. This wasn’t what you expected but it could still work. You searched Bucky’s face and leaned forward and lowered your voice. “Why?”

“I didn’t buy a casino to work with Loki, only to get close enough to him,” he growled, “this peace was never gonna last.”

“What--”

“You go with Thor as planned. Act like normal, like nothing’s changed. Get him to that antique shop and my men will take care of the rest. You’ll be safe, you got my word.”

“You want me to go against Loki?”

“I want you to jump ship before it sinks,” he said coolly, “I’d hate to see you drown, sweetheart.”

“Why would I do that? Trade him for you? How is that any different for me?”

Bucky inhaled deeply and smirked, “you haven’t given me a chance, sweetheart, but your other choice isn’t so good. This is still business, if I gotta put you down with him, I will.”

You folded your hands on the desk and scrunched your lips. You fought not to show your own grin that threatened to burst through. These men were so focused on each other and their war, they didn’t realise the big picture could be skewed by the finer details.

👄

Loki was waiting for you. You knocked on his door but it was unlocked. You entered and found him in a black robe with a glass of wine. He didn’t acknowledge you as you turned the lock or even as you neared him. He tossed back the last of the cabernet and set the glass aside.

His green eyes met yours at last and he stretched his arms over the back of the couch. He was slightly drunk, you could tell by the colour in his cheeks. His gaze fell down your figure and he beckoned you forth with two fingers.

“I hate to admit it but I think I will miss you,” he slid one hand along the front of his robe and unknotted the belt. He pulled it open and exposed his erection, “you will depart with my brother in the morning and he will see you to the city.”

You wriggled out of your dress and let it pile at your feet. You unhooked your bra as he began to play with himself and shimmied out of your panties. You stepped in front of him and bent to brace his shoulders as you climbed up to straddle you.

“Do you think I’ll be back or is this goodbye?” you asked.

“What do you mean?” he rasped.

“You don’t think I’ll be caught?”

He narrowed his eyes and touched your hips. He pulled you down until his tip slid along your folds.

“Do you?” he challenged.

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” you confessed.

“You have my brother, his men and mine,” he pushed you further and slid inside of you with a gasp. “When we are rid of Diablo and his deception, we will deal with Barnes. You will be mine, pet, only mine.”

“Would you want me when he is gone?” you ran your nails down his chest and he shivered.

“You would be thankful to only be my accountant again,” he gripped your hips as he moved your body, “but I don’t think I could let you be just that.”

“You’re drunk, Loki,” you taunted, put off by his unusual candour.

“I’m horny,” he admitted, “and you feel good.”

You purred and kept rocking in his lap. Despite your loathing, your helplessness, you were soothed by his body. For once, it wasn’t rough, it wasn’t angry, it wasn’t punishing. With what could be disaster facing you, you wanted to bask in this last moment of peace. Fuck away the stress and the fear.

“You never fucked me like this, pet,” he reached to cup your tit, “you’re afraid?”

You lowered your head tellingly and sped up. You didn’t want to talk, you just wanted to get off. Even if you despised him, even if it was wrong. He groaned and hung his head back against the couch as he teased your nipples with his thumbs.

“Perhaps it is that I am merely preferable to that animal, Barnes. The lesser of two evils? I do not mind that.”

He clenched his teeth as he watched the way you glided up and down his length. Your thighs burned as you rode him eagerly, wishing he would just shut up. He snarled as you leaned into him and he took your nipple between his lips and nibbled.

You dug your nails into his shoulders and gasped for breath as you neared your climax. You closed your eyes and the hotel room slaked away. You weren’t there, you weren’t with him, you were only reaching for your bliss. You were so close; so close to being free, even if it wasn’t forever.

“Oh, darling,” he grunted and his hips bucked as you reached down to play with your clit. 

He came inside of you as your walls clenched him and you guided yourself to your own orgasm with your fingers and the fullness. You stopped and sat back as you wiped away the sweat from your brow. You exhaled and he tilted his hips so that you tensed around him.

“I will have a surprise for you on your return,” he swore as his green irises flamed, “oh, I think you should like it very much.”

You watched him as he closed his eyes and caught his breath. You blinked as your head spun and you caught his implication. Just as Bucky planned to strike his foe, Loki plotted much the same. You hid your delight and latched onto the back of the couch as you began to move again. You should have realised earlier how easy these men were.