#my user is big ball boy say hi if you see me

[athofear]

shadow the hedgehog joyride AMV from a while ago. shoulda posted sooner

[dellalyra]

Family Formation - Part Eighteen

A/N: a request from my dearest darling @psychicai to know more about the reader's relationship with the second years <3

CW: misogyny, lots of it, canon-typical violence, sexy times, mdni, dirty stuff (reader and gojo), fluff, soft gojo soft reader soft soft soft, swearing bc its me

Summary: Moments in your relationship with the second year's, because they're your kids too.

“Satoru, you’ll continue with Hakari and Kirara this year –they seem to be flourishing under your tutelage. However, I expect a stop to being put to them playing hooky and their ‘extracurricular activities taking place in the storage room – so I expect both you and Y/N to refrain from doing the same. Y/N, you will be the lead for this year's first years.” Principal Yaga stood in front of you, Satoru, Shoko, Kusakabe, Ijichi and Akari at the beginning of the term meeting.

“Aw! Yaga they’re so cute though, how can I deny the blooming of such passionate young love when mine led me to marry this gorgeous gal beside me?! Plus, you didn’t care that much when it was third year me and Y/N in the spare theory classroom and you got a free period?!” Satoru rebukes and Yaga just rolls his eyes, you giggle into your husband's shoulder at the memories of your time as students.

“Anyway – Y/N, you have an interesting bunch this year. Of course, Panda will be one of your students as I’m sure you’re already aware. You will also have Maki Zen’in, daughter of Ogi Zen’in. She is… less than favoured by the clan as she is a non-sorcerer.” He says, passing you a file. Murmurs erupt at hearing this. You glance at Satoru – a Zen’in non-sorcerer. The last of those was…

“She is the elder of twin sisters. Her sister will be attending Kyoto, Mai has a cursed technique named construction and as they are twins – Maki received no cursed energy.”

“Wait, Yaga – are you saying what I think you’re saying?” You ask.

“Heavenly Restriction.” He finishes.

“Holy shit.” Interjects Shoko between puffs of her cigarette.

“A Zen’in, with Heavenly Restriction, estranged from her clan?” You summarise, glancing at your husband.

“The second coming of Toji Fushiguro,” Satoru says, smirking.

“Well. Fuck.” You rub the bridge of your nose. This kid could prove extraordinary. Also, your brain did the math and realised you’d be teaching Megumi’s cousin, maybe you could introduce them – as two defective Zen’ins.

“Fuck indeed. She’s got talent, she has immense potential, her ability to see curses has been gifted through cursed objects, she wears glasses which enable this ability.” He finishes.

“I think you will get along, Y/N. She has an intense distaste for the Zen’in clan and the patriarchy – but please, no more adopting children. You both are barely 25.” He smirks, knowing how you and Satoru are.

“Lastly, Toge Inumaki.” He hands you another file.

Your heart beats fast, an Inumaki?

A cursed speech user. The Inumaki clan was considered outlaws. The higher-ups considered the technique too dangerous and outlawed them. Your family had much the same treatment – the higher-ups of jujutsu society even though the women of your clan inherit stronger abilities, which only became worse after your great great great grandmother stood up to them and disavowed their ways. Your clan was outlawed from being one of the ‘big families’.

“How powerful is his cursed speech?” You ask.

“Surpassing any other user for generations. He can only communicate using rice ball ingredients.” Yaga adds.

You raise an eyebrow and a giggle as Satoru guffaws beside you at the only form of communication with this boy Onigiri.

“Iconic.” Satoru laughs.

“We love to see it.” You agree.

The first day came, and you stood at the gates, Panda already beside you. You’d known panda since, well, birth? Yaga had been your teacher too in school and you remained close through the years. You were delighted to have been trusted to teach someone who Yaga considered his son.

A tall girl with dark green hair, glasses and stern eyes exited a taxi in front of you – a rucksack and a duffel bag in hand.

“Maki?” You ask, smiling.

“That’s me. You’re Gojo-Sensei?” She responds, shaking your outstretched hand with a firm grip. This girl is strong and so much taller than you it’s funny.

“Well, depends on which of us you want. If you want Satoru, look for someone freakishly tall and with white hair, but chances are you’ll hear him before you see him. The six eyes are a giveaway too. Anyway, I’m Y/N [Clan Name] Gojo.” You respond.

“I’ve seen you at some social gatherings. The clan elders spoke a lot about you.” She added.

“All bad things, I hope?” You tease.

“You hope for a bad reputation?” Now you’ve piqued her curiosity. Little did you know, Maki was positively fangirling inside at meeting you, and realising you would be her sensei.

“If the Zen’in elders have good things to say about me, then I’m not raising enough hell at all.” You wink at her, and she smirks. She used to love hearing the stories of you giving shit to the elders, or sassing the old men who called you less than savoury names. She knew you and Gojo Satoru had adopted her cousin Toji’s son, Megumi to keep him away from the clan. She loved hearing how you and another woman, Yuki Tsukomo caused constant pain and strife to the patriarchy of society. Both special grade sorcerers, you from an outlawed clan and more powerful than any of the higher-ups with a fiery personality and temper to boot, and Yuki who was so independent that she wouldn’t even work with the higher-ups at all. If she could have had posters on her wall of you both, she would have. She even garnered more respect for Gojo Satoru, the lack of shits he’d given when the other family heads had raised hell over your relationship with him and all he said in return was ‘suck a dick, I’ll do what I want. I’m gonna marry this woman someday, and heavens help you if you try to stand in our way.”

“We’re just waiting on the final third year now, then I’ll do introductions.” You say as if on cue, a car pulls up and out hops a boy with a shock of white hair, so similar to Satoru’s hair in colour but far spikier, probably assisted by the high neck scarf around his face.

“Hi! Are you Toge?” You wave to him.

“Shake. Konbu.” He says, eyes a little shy but you can see a small smile.

You had asked for a glossary of his onigiri terms so you could learn them before he came, so you were able to communicate with him. You’d hate for him to feel alone.

“Amazing! We’re all here. Okay! I’m Y/N [Clan Name] Gojo, and I’ll be your sensei this year! This is Panda!” You say, gesturing beside you. Panda waves and both other students in for a hug. Toge reciprocates and Maki looks disgruntled. Is that face a Zen’in trait? You see it daily with Megumi at home.

“This is Maki.” You leave out her surname, unsure if she wants it known or not. She nods towards them both with a simple hello.

“And this is Toge!” You say patting him on the shoulder.

“Konbu.” He says waving his hand.

“Toge here is a cursed speech user, he uses Onigiri ingredients to talk which is iconic behaviour might I add. Here, I’ve printed out the translation for his words so you guys can all talk!” You see Toge give a wide small to you.

“Okay let’s get going. I’ll show you guys around and then to your dorms.” You lead them around campus, showing them the classrooms, the training field and other places of importance.

“And here is the infirmary, along with my best friend, Doctor Shoko Ieiri.” You gesture to the woman smoking a cigarette at her desk as she sorts through files.

“Hey kids, I’ll be doing all the sewing of your skin.” She smirks.

“Jesus Shoko, you could just say welcome.” You roll your eyes, and you can’t help a giggle at her.

As you leave the infirmary, you bump into another person.

“And this is Ijichi! He’s awesome and the school straight up couldn’t function without him. Anything you need, if you can’t get me – get Ijichi.” You say high-fiving the man, who introduces himself. You smile at how far he’s come, from the gangly underclassman in Nanami and Yu’s year to Assistant Director.

As you begin to walk the kids toward the dorm building to help them settle in, you fill them in on more details.

“We’ll start classes on Monday, so that gives you guys tonight and tomorrow to rest and settle in. I know it can be a lot. You’ll meet more people as we go along but I hope you guys are happy here. I went to school here too, I graduated 9 years ago and I have some of my favourite memories from here. That’s the great thing about this place is it’s not just school, it really can become your home. But seriously, if you guys need anything, like a new cursed tool or a ride to the mall for fresh socks then call me. Screw calling my work phone, here’s my number so whatever you guys need just text, and if you can’t get in touch with me then call –” You were interrupted by a loud voice.

“Her devoted husband who can’t stand a second away from her.” The voice, now identified as Satoru, says as his arms wrap around your waist as you turn to plant a kiss on his cheek.

“Hi‘Toru.” You say.

“Hi there, Princess.” He kisses the tip of your nose and you giggle at him.

“Kids, this is my husband and other sensei, Gojo Satoru. He’s gonna be with the second years mostly, but no doubt you’ll see him loads. We’re not formal people, so just call us Y/N and Gojo.” You say.

“Eh?! Speak for yourself. I demand to be called Gojo Satoru, his royal highness, the strongest sorcerer alive whenever you address me.” He says this with such finality the kids would think he was serious if you didn’t laugh and tell him to hush his nonsense.

“Thanks for the mochi yesterday, Gojos!” Says Panda.

“Weren’t they the best?!” You and Satoru excitedly begin chatting about the dessert shop you had found together recently as you led the kids to the dorms.

“I can’t believe that’s Gojo Satoru. The honoured one. He’s whipped for her. She’s crazy about him too, it’s gross - it’s like they’re still teenagers.” Maki leans into Toge and says.

“Okaka.” Says Toge, shaking his head – and making a heart shape with his hands and placing it around the two figures holding hands in front of him.

•••••

A few months had passed since the start of school, and you had been getting ever closer with your students. You had begun to speak to Toge through text a lot, so you could communicate freely, and you soon learned that when uninhibited he was hilarious. A sharp humour, and a kind heart to match – you became very attached to the boy. He had asked you about your clan, having heard you were also an outlaw clan.

Riceball: is it harder to be a sorcerer when you’re from a clan like one of ours?

Y/N: good morning to you too Toge Happy Saturday

Riceball: 🙄 these are the moments I remember why I ship u and Gojo

Y/N: to answer ur question, yeah.

Y/N: but also no. You face more obstacles bc the higher-ups will be determined to place as many roadblocks as possible in our way, but also u have more freedom. U aren’t as confined by feeling obligated to live by their rules – bc they’re the ones who kicked us out. They kinda fucked themselves over bc if u look at both our clans – they distanced themselves from two immensely powerful families who now ally with people like me and Satoru and u and Maki – people who wanna change Jujutsu society.

Riceball: I heard they gave u and Gojo MAD shit when u guys got together

Y/N: omg I’m famous

Y/N: but ye they did and even more when we adoptedMegumi, they tried to put legal blocks in place so we couldn’t adopt him but tbh I think they were too scared of Satoru to pursue it too far. They caused Satoru and me a lot of hurt and shit when we were in high school so there’s a lotta bad blood there.

Riceball: Suguru Geto, right? I remember my parents talking about you guys.

That one stung to read, you four were destined for greatness together. You promised your kids honesty, and the truth hurt.

Y/N: yeah, and lots of shit leading up to that. They tried to block me from getting into school, and wouldn’t give me missions for a while bc of who I was, the main thing is toge u can never stop fighting them bc the minute u give up u let them win

Y/N: and I’m sure as hell not raising u guys to be anything but badasses 🥰

Y/N: they won’t fuck with you whilst I’m around, Toge. Dw. Ur a strong sorcerer and a good kid, we won’t let them get in our way.

🤍

Panda was well, Panda. He’d never change. Fiercely loyal, protective, kind and caring. He was exactly the warmth the other two needed to have in their class.

•••••

When the day came that Maki’s initial grade assessment came through, all hell broke loose. You weren’t allowed to recommend her, as her Sensei – but Yaga had recommended her through your instruction with Satoru’s support as Grade Two. Only a few months into their first year, her physical prowess outweighed any of the other students – and you could see with experience and training, one day she would reach the level of her cousin, Toji.

So when the results came through as Maki Zen’in – Grade Four: you flipped your shit.

In the conference room with the elders – Satoru waited outside; they announced the grades.

“Excuse me?!” You stood, chair shrieking behind you and an unintended burst of vines erupting at your feet. Strong emotions caused that.

At the sound of you shouting, and the burst of your cursed energy – Satoru blasts through the door and immediately wraps you in his arms.

“I’m sorry?! Grade Four?! She’s at the very least three but a second grade?!” You slam your fist on the table, holding Satoru’s hand in your other. You squeezed, letting him know you were okay – just livid.

“Wait – she? Hang on – you old fuckers named Maki a grade four?” He added.

“It’s the Grade which suits the girl best.” One of the elders announced.

“No it isn’t, so cut the bullshit. We all know why this is, it’s because she’s failing the Zen’ins as their perfect woman isn’t she – no cursed energy, outspoken, strong? Or is it because of who she reminds you of? Is it because of the fact she reminds you of Toji? Hm? C’mon – spill.” Your body was shaking with rage, and Satoru knew you were right. She was being held back by the Zen’in clan – but if anyone could break through their shit, it was you. He’d be there if you need them.

“Mind your manners, Mrs Gojo.” One of the old men spoke up.

“Respect your elders, woman.” Said another.

“I am Mrs Gojo now – but don’t forget I was Y/N [Clan Name] first, you use my married name almost as an insult as if I should bow and take my place as a quiet wife now, I am married, do not forget who I married, I am the wife of the strongest sorcerer and myself a special grade sorcerer. I know the games you all play, and I know that Naobito had a hand in this, you can’t hide behind your desks forever.” Your eyes glared daggers through the men.

“Is that a threat, Mrs. Gojo?” The bearded chairman asked.

“No. It’s a goddamn promise.” You hissed as you turned on your heel out of the room, hand still intertwined with Satoru’s, and you slammed the door behind you.

You marched away to the building where your office was and as you went inside the door you felt yourself pushed unceremoniously against the wall of your office.

“Fucking hell, Princess. You’re incredible. That might have been the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen.” Satoru said, pinning your wrists beside you and assaulting your neck with his mouth. He ground his hips into yours, rock solid already beneath his neatly pressed slacks.his hands roamed around your shirt before slipping inside to flick at your pebbled nipple under your blue lace bra. He knew he was near the purple blooming bruises he had left with his mouth this morning before work on the swell of your breast and the thought of you wandering around, not only marked as his through marriage but physically made him slip his hand down to trace the hem of your panties under your skirt.

You whined into his shoulder, the adrenaline pumping through you adding to your already permanent horniness for your husband.

“Jesus fucking Christ do you two ever stop fucking?!” Drawled Shoko as you two left the restaurant bathroom looking slightly dishevelled.

“No! My husband is fucking hot so go away!” You reply, giggling, Satoru smirked knowing that you found him as irresistible as he did you – even 8 years into your relationship he still thought the fact you were about to sit for drinks with his cum still inside you, leaking onto your panties was overwhelmingly arousing.

You lace your hands through the hair at the base of his skull and lightly tug.

“‘Toru, please – no teasing.” You whimper into him, pressing your core down to try to relieve some pressure.

“What, my poor baby needs me to fuck the anger outta her? Tell me what you need Princess.” He smirks, lifting your legs around his waist and pushing your panties down so they drop on the floor.

“Sa-Satoru, please – need you now. Need your cock,‘Toru. Please – wanna feel you.”

“As you wish, Princess.”

You exited the room on slightly wobbly legs with your pretty hairstyle undone, and Satoru with a light pink lipstick stain on the slope of his throat and a smirk on his lips and a smile on your face.

•••••

That evening, you found Maki sparring with a training dummy on the field.

“Y/N, hi.” She said, taking a sip from her bottle.

You beckoned her to sit with you on the bench.

You were both silent for a moment.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t get them to change your grade, Maki.” You sigh.

“Thanks for even trying, Y/N. It’s the most anyone’s done for me.” She huffs.

“I hope you know Maki – it doesn’t reflect your skill level. I had Yaga recommend you for second grade, it was endorsed by Satoru and Nanami Kento too. I’m sure you are aware as to why the promotion was blocked.” There was no point in lying or sugarcoating with a young woman like Maki.

“I’m aware. Nobody ever said being a Zen’in woman would be easy.” She shrugged, kicking the dirt.

“And I’m sorry to tell you it won’t get easier. This world isn’t often kind to women, we have to work extra hard to be afforded the same graces and luxuries as our male counterparts, and the Zen’in clan are hardly known for their egalitarianism.” You roll your eyes, and she snorts a laugh.

“How did you do it? Gather respect?” She asks.

“Ha! Honey, I’m still fighting to be respected by the highe-ups. Shoko, Utahime, Mei Mei too – hell even Yuki and she’s my icon. I’m the first person in centuries to inherit my cursed technique, I’m a special grade sorcerer, the heir to the [Clan Name] and a teacher jujutsu high all in my own right – and added onto that I’m married to Gojo Satoru, I’ve raised your cousin Megumi and I’ll be the mother of the next Gojo heir, the adopted mother of the Zen’in heir, and the heir to my clan – and I still fight daily for basic respect from those old fucks.” You tell her.

“How is there any hope then?”

“They won’t live forever.” You smirk.

“But the next generation, from what I’ve seen there’s some who think the same – my cousin, Naoya for example.”

“Ah, dearest Naoya Zen’in.” You let out a breathy laugh.

“You know him?” Maki asks.

“Sadly. Do you remember he got a broken nose about 6 years ago? Looked hilarious, whined about it for months.” You turn to her, opening a candy bar from your bag.

“Yeah? Wait – was that you?” She smiled at this.

You nodded eagerly.

“He was being a dick, so I smacked him.”

“What was he doing?”

“He was bad-mouthing Satoru, then said that I was only with him to boost my name and be a ‘brood-mare’ for the Gojo heir.”

“So you smacked him?”

“I smacked him.”

“Then what happened.”

“I laughed, he cried, Satoru kissed me and we went home.”

“You’re a legend.”

“Why, thank you.”

Silence for a second.

“In all honesty, Maki, Satoru and I became teachers for reasons like this. I’m sure you’ve noticed that he and I, and our friends – we don’t quite abide by the rules. Years ago, when we were still in school, we lost our best friend because of a terrible, selfish plan concocted by the highe-ups. That and, well, my history.” You start.

Maki turns to you, unwilling to push for information but curious.

“My family – my clan, we’re outcasts from Jujutsu Society – still well respected by most except the elders but outcasts notheless. My family are a matriarchy, the women in my family inherit the stronger strains of our cursed techniques. My great, great, great, great grandmother was the last person to have helped my cursed technique and she stood up to the higher-ups of her era and they shunned her from society. We remained a prominent family due to our power and cursed energy levels, but we swore to protect and defend people and exorcise curses in our way, and not to follow what path they would choose for us. They would have had us be quiet women, meek and without agency. We are an ancient family, the oldest family – our blood is said to be that of ancient forest spirits. We bow to no man. The men of my family believe the same, none of us will be controlled or manipulated.”

She nodded for you to continue.

“So, when I was born, they had simultaneous heart attacks. The most powerful [Clan Name] in centuries and another woman. They tried to control me once I got to school, but – that didn’t last long. I was named special grade because there was no denying my ability, they couldn’t hide me. Then I became best friends with a cursed spirit manipulator, another special grade, Shoko – the most talented and powerful used of reversed cursed technique alive and then fell in love with the first user of the Six Eyes and Limitless in 600 years. I was their worst nightmare. They have tried and tried, and failed and failed – to put roadblocks in front of me the whole time. But I kept fighting, and now – I want to love, and care and nurture everyone I encounter, I want to spread warmth to everyone I know but – having those men, the higher-ups – the same ones who cause all of us pain and anguish, men and women, having them fear me, having them know my threats aren’t empty – thsatisfies me. If they won’t respect me, I have made them understand the danger of fucking with me or the people under my protection. Use your power, Maki. Use it for good, use it to protect. That’s what I’ve learned, and it’s the bravest thing you can do.”

•••••

The makeshift infirmary smelled so strongly of medical supplies your nose burned. You had come to have the slash on your back patched up. The boys all needed medical attention too, and you insisted on having you all in the same room, you were already half of yourself without him beside you. You wouldn’t run the risk of losing anyone else.

Inumaki – well, it took a lot of convincing to get Yuuji to even face him.

“His arm, Y/N, Megumi – I did that! It’s my fault!” He says, so softly and broken.

“Sweet boy, is your name Yuuji?” You ask him.

He nods, confused.

“Then you didn’t. The person who did that was Sukuna.” At this, Megumi, in shows of affection you’ve learned are reserved for Yuuji, wraps his arm around his boyfriend and whispers something in his ear that you can see visibly relaxed him. God, you’re so grateful that these two have each other. Such a pure love and it gives you so much hope.

Choso seems on edge, guilty almost. You drag him for a talk too, you feel like you’re reassuring everyone and you need that now. You need people to care for, to protect - that’s the driving force that’s keeping you from losing your mind.

When Inumaki wakes up, you’re beside him.

You wipe his hair back from his face and smile at him. He knew he’d lost his arm, and really – he was taking it surprisingly well. As well as one could hope. He shed tears, he was frustrated, he would need time, but he had Yuuta back beside him – and that seemed to help. You’d be there too, whenever he needed you.

Riceball: don’t need my arm to talk do I? And that’s like kinda my whole vibe  as long as I can talk so I can help u get ur man back Y/N-Sensei then we’re all g also can u tell Yuuji to stop crying into my blanket pls it’s snotty now

Maki, she took a few more days to wake up. Jogo’s flames had severely injured her. She had lost an eye and had severe burns across her body. She was in immense pain and seemed determined to leave despite this. Her hair had been sung badly, so after a while you offered to tidy it up for her – remove the burned bits and try to recover what you could.

After a few days, she leaves. There are cursed tools in the Zen’in warehouse, and she’s going to get them. You weren’t there when she left, but you were there when she returned.

She was carrying a mound of something; you couldn’t quite see – until she turned. She was carrying the body of her twin sister. Mai was dead, body slung over Maki’s shoulder, who then passed her to a sobbing Momo. Maki’s eyes were blank, devoid of anything. Grief, shock, anger – a lethal combination. Maki seemed different, she carried herself differently.

She was also, completely, covered in blood.

“Maki, fucking hell – what happened?” You rush to her.

“Mai is dead. The Zen’in Clan are gone, all of them.” She said, passing the key to what you assumed was a vault to Ijichi.

You just pulled her into you. It was brief, and she wouldn’t fall apart as others might. This was Maki, so similar to your Megumi – but so different.

You knew now the difference.

Her heavenly restriction had now reached, if not surpassed, that of Toji Fushiguro.

She was now a true force of nature.

••••••

“God, I didn’t miss this.” Maki fake gags as Yuuta laughs beside her. Inumaki shook his head beside them both and Panda on his back.

“Oh hush, Maki – when Nobara wakes up you’ll be no different.” You jest at her, and she rolls her eyes but pointedly doesn’t refute the claim.

They had walked in on you sitting on Gojo’s lap, you were both seemingly physically inseparable since he had been released from the prison realm. Your head on his shoulder, his arm snug around your waist.

“You’re all just jealous!” Satoru jibes at them, blowing a raspberry.

“Kids, go to bed. It’s late – the apartments next door are free. We love you alllllllll!” You shout after them.

“I didn’t have half this sass to deal with in the cube yaknow.” Satoru laughs into your shoulder, and you throw your head back laughing at him.

“And you wouldn’t miss it for the world, plus, that’s how the kids show their love - they’re teenagers after all.” You poke his cheek.

“Were we that bad?” He asks, kissing down your neck, arms wrapping under your legs and lifting you into your temporary room, neither of you would separate for even a moment in the few days since his release.

“Oh, ‘toru, we were wayyyyyy worse.” You say, realising that after 10 years – you are still the same teenagers in love today.

[slowlyhardgoatee]

Next up on the auction block… 

Gentlemen, I’ve got a treat for you here. This here faggot likes nothing more than being used and abused by big, barrel-chested men with a beer gut. The older, the better, as far as he’s concerned. I can tell you from first-hand experience that he’s got a talented fucking mouth. I can tell you that because I squirted a load down his throat about 20 minutes ago. 

He’s got a tight arse, and a pretty face with perfect, dick-sucking lips. He can deep-throat on command and his gag reflex is non-existent. He’s 19, he’s been out for 2 years and he is, at least right this second, a virgin. That’s right, fellas, that arse is currently un-fucked. 

Now, one thing that happened after he swallowed every drop of my cum earlier is that he then begged me to use him in a live demonstration of exactly what he’s for. And what he’s for, obviously, is being bred. 

That’s right, isn’t it, faggot? You’re here to be sold as a breed pig, aren’t you, boy? Yeah. Well, I’m happy to demonstrate your use to these fine gentlemen in the audience. I think I’ll have you on your hands and knees, boy. Right here, centre stage. Good pig. 

Notice how he automatically arches his back for an older man. And take a look at that perfect bubble butt. Look, boy, all these fat old men in the audience are just about creaming their jeans over you. And now I’m gonna cream too, faggot boy. Right up that cunt. 

Yeah, keep that fucking back arched, bitch. I’m going in raw. Oh, yeah, fucking take it, you slut. Balls deep. That’s it, good boy. I know I’ve got a big cock, boy, but you can take it. Your faggot throat sure did. And it will again, right after I’ve dumped my cum up your virgin cunt. 

Ready, boy? Say goodbye to your virginity, you dirty fucking slut, because I’m about to fucking cream. Take it… take it… FUUUUUCK YEAH, CUNT BOY. That’s how you take a fucking load, faggot. Good lad. Now turn around and wink your hole at the audience, so everyone can see that freshly fucked cunt. Meanwhile you can lick my cock and balls clean, boy. Nice and slow like a good pig. 

Now let’s start the bidding. A 19-year-old twink faggot breed pig with a fucking sweet mouth and arse, one previous user, hehehe. Oh, and I’ll tell you all what - regardless of who wins, I think I’ll let every single one of you fuck at least one of his holes afterwards. Now, who wants to place the first bid?

[pandulce135]

Singing in the Kitchen (Mikey x Reader)

Notes: LMAO I had the first paragraph of this one written down for like 2 weeks but life hit like a truck and I moved rooms and that took a week. I'm beginning to cross post some of my stuff to my AO3 account of the same user, too.

This one's a bit on the sorter side, but I think I got the point across in some way.

The song used in this is Sing Sing by Mariana's Trench.

Warnings: not proofread, otherwise none

Word Count: 1.1k

The kitchen smelled of sweets and was filled with all sorts of different pastries. From cookies to brownies, to a beautifully decorated cake, if it was a doable recipe, Mikey would make it. You were assisting him where you could. You mixed ingredients and kept track of timers. The decorating and presentation is what you left for Mikey, as he was the artistic one of you two. The generous amount of sweets were made in celebration of Leo and Don’s birthday tomorrow and you were doing whatever you could to help make it a good time for everyone involved.

“Are you sure we’re not making too much?” You glanced over your shoulder to look at Mikey. He was pulling a tray out of the oven while you stood at the island mixing away. The next and final baked good for the party were some simple chocolate chip cookies.

Mikey laughed. “Have you met us? We can eat, like, a pizza each in one sitting. This is just enough.” He bopped his head to the music that played from a small speaker in the corner of the room as he walked up behind you to check on your work. “Lookin’ good, ‘lil chef!” His chin hovered above your shoulder as he watched you work.

“Thanks, big chef,” you laughed, lightly hitting his temple with your own.

For a moment, you both stood there, watching you work as you both swayed to the music that played from your Spotify blend. Your music tastes jumped around from hip-hop to indie to punk to pop. It was content and calm in the kitchen, with the scent of sweets invading your senses. You were content. You could tell Mikey was, too.

“If-slash-when you guys get accepted by society, you should open a bakery,” you hummed as Mikey placed his three fingered hand on your own, a sign to stop mixing. You felt his weight against your back as he let out a whine and you let out a chuckle.

“I would love that so much, you have no idea,” his chin rested on your shoulder and you could feel the pout radiating off of him. You really wished that humanity would be just as accepting as you and April are about the boys. Until then, you will do the work of showing them endless love and appreciation- especially to Mikey. A sigh escaped Mikey as he spoke up again. “I really need to go to the little turtle’s room. Can you start placing these on a clean sheet?”

You let out a laugh at ‘little turtle’s room’ before nodding. “Anything for you, big chef.” You turned around in his arms and gave a mock salute.

There was a mutual laughter shared before Mikey gave you a quick peck on the cheek. “I’ll be right back!” As soon as he let go of you, you grabbed a baking sheet and glanced over at the oven to see it already preheated. Mikey was on it for real.

It was just you, the music, and the cookie dough that you were separating and putting on the baking sheet. The fast paced music of Mariana’s Trench playing made you groove as you worked.

“Are you hearing me now? Oh, oh, oh Hear the sad little sounds As they fall from my mouth Oh, yeah

You just need me to be stable But I won’t be able To keep it together again

Now don’t pretty please me You’re not making it easy To slow things down.”

Now you were nearly dancing at the fast paced music that played from the speaker, balling up the cookie dough in time with the tempo of the song. Your feet were even doing a little shuffle on the floor as your head bopped back and forth on beat.

“It’s no wonder why I’m not eating I- I’m not sleeping You say sing, sing to me

Sing me something I need Sing new, sing good God I wish that I could.”

Just as the song went into the bridge, you heard a gasp from the entryway of the kitchen. “Omigosh I didn’t know you could sing!” Your shoulders tensed as you turned to face him in the doorway. “You sound so good!” As soon as he processed the expression of shock and nervousness on your face, he began again. “Babe, not only can you bake, but you can sing and do a little groove? Ugh, my ‘lil chef can do it all!” He moved in to hug you and simply let it happen.

Your face was growing hot as he continued to gush about how you’re “multi-talented” and how you’re “so good at anything.”

“Mikey,” you whined. “I’m not though.” Your voice was muffled from where you spoke into his shoulder.

“Nuh-uh. I’m not gonna let you talk down about yourself.” He grabbed a random cooking from a container on the table and handed it to you. “Now here, for being you.”

You couldn’t help yourself as you let out a laugh. “It’s like a reward.” His own laugh echoed yours as he maneuvered you to sit down so he can take a peak at your work.

“Ah, my darling dear can sing, groove and space out the cookie dough like a pro?”

“Mikey, stop,” you whined and hid your face in your free hand as he smiled widely at you.

“Oh, oh, what if we did some karaoke? It doesn’t have to be all of us, just you and I.” Mikey turned to look at you and you turned your head to look back at him. “You know, just to build up some confidence. I think it could be fun.” His hands worked quickly with the dough, you noted, and he finished up placing the rest on the sheet in record time. He placed the sheet in the oven.

“I mean, if it’s just the two of us…” You thought for a moment before moving your head in a small nod. “I don’t think I would mind.” Mikey gasped as he closed the oven and turned to you, a bright smile on his face. His eyes almost looked like they were sparkling.

“I’ll writing down in the Big Book of Date Ideas!” He exclaimed, pure joy overtaking his body language and voice.

“You’re a dork, Michelangelo!” You barked out with a laugh, the previous embarrassment you felt was long gone. It was almost like a secret power of his, he can either prolong embarrassment, or erase it from your being entirely.

Mikey walked over to you and placed a kiss on the top of your head. “Yeah, but I’m your dork.”

“That was so cheesy.”

“I know.”

[thepocket221]

I have brought you Finn headcanons!

Finn is part French

He even speaks French!

Somtimes he calls you little names in French

Big Hozier fan

Also a Harry Styles fan

Terrible at combat video games but puzzle and indie games he's good at

Hes a mf old man

He crochetes little sweaters for you and him

Also to mention

He dances in the kitchen with you with the record player on <33

Soft snoring boy

Sleep talker also

Hes surprisingly strong Also

Its cuz He lifts flower pots for a living He says

This is canon but he is a very good cook

He knows all of the best small cafes that aren't very known in town

He is very good with kids!

Hes very awkward at first but then if the kid says, "You have very pretty hair, It's like a princesses hair!" He smiles and let's them play with his hair

One time you walked into him and his nieces doing his makeup

*Finn has bright red lipstick on and blue eyeshadow on with one girl doing his hair and the other doing his makeup*

"Oh hi love!"

The girl doing his makeup: "Quit moving and look at me uncle Finn!"

"Oh I'm sorry!

Ig that's one way to end it-

USER 0lliel0vesfr0gs YOU HAVE THE SAME NAME/NICKNAME AS MY LISTENER FOR FINN I SHIT YOU NOT /pos

ALSO THANK YOU FOR THESE😭🤲🤲 THEYRE ALL SO <333

(usually for hc posts i try to have art i’ve made to go along with it BUT I DONT DRAW FINN ENOUGH <//33 well, i do, but it the scribbles don’t look too well (to me at least) so i do not post them <//3 /lh /nm but until i have finn art i’m proud of:

in return, here are some of my finn hcs!!

on the topic of what type of phone games/games in general he would play: he’s a king at sudoku.

crosswords too!!

he’s so smart, i love him dearly <33

maybe he tried a dating sim once but it did not go well for him

other than that, he definitely would play RPGs (and before ANYONE SAYS IT, based on my personal experience, i’d say finn’s more of an animal crossing fan compared to stardew.) and is the type of guy to overthink the choices he’s given in game. he doesn’t look the answer up, but oh boy is it tempting,, “if i go with this option, it will ruin my relationship with this character :(“ babes they’re not real🫶/lhj

storyteller finn however, would love stardew valley. the mystical aspects would be his favorite.

deadass would forget you can date someone bc of the lore.

anywho, back to garden variety💪🫶‼️

BUFF FINN IS SO TRUE ACTUALLY

i would like to believe he has thick thighs

but may i raise you: muscle chub finn.

somehow is seymour AND audrey as far as personality. idk how he does it but oh sweet heart <//33

also imagine him saying the most cryptic stuff when he’s sleeping. like bro are you just saying words or are you plagued with the murder of someone,, /lhj

i’m also a finn hot freaks fan truther🫶🫶 /pos

maybe he can also play piano

“fuck you joint pain!! i do what i want!!” (his ass did NOT take his pain meds and regrets his decision)

in reference to bunny finn, garden variety finn would have a pretty big family. he’s second oldest

the type of fellow to to squint his eyes, move his glasses down slightly, and bend back a little bit to see something someone’s showing him on their phone

also the type of fellow to never wear shorts unless they’re cargo shorts.

also gives him chronic pain bc i have chronic pain😼

decked out his mobility aide with various stickers gifted to him by his little nieces and nephews

in public he uses a cane and a wheeled walker.

doesn’t use one at work (like a silly goose) and regrets it

definitely forgets his braces as well

has especially terrible wrist, knee, and hip pain

ALSO WHAT IF HE CROCHETED LITTLE SWEATERS AND SCARVES FOR HIS LITTLE NEICES AND NEPHEWS TOO

you can’t tell me he wouldn’t spoil them

also goes to all of their recitals, ball games, award ceremonies, plays, literally any and every after school event. he loves those little goobers and wants to support them!!

also embarrasses the shit out of them as well!!

“hey remember when-” “UNCLE FINN, PLEASE NOT NOW OH GOD IT’S MY GRADUATION”

people who crochet are so cool and epic like actually‼️‼️/g /srs

methinks this is canon but he probably doesn’t have a lot of friends; at max he has 2-3.

jack ofc being his bestie

they have sleepovers you can’t change my mind /lhj /nm

who says i can’t make every character autistic?? i’m the nd doing the coding here!! /pos /lhj

could just be me but he definitely has a male/masc preference

GUYUH I LOVE HIM SO MUCH I LOVE TALKING ABT HIM TOO ILL DEFINITELY DRAW HIM MORE🫶🫶

okay that’s it, goodbye and stay safe🫡‼️‼️

[heartshapedcreaturefromcriptoon]

Like, literally all of them? Go fuck yourself?

"Less representation than Gravity Falls..."

So...

I guess all of the crippled queer kids are just going to have to be okay with Tyrone (strangely appropriative and fetishistic name for the disfigured clone of your 13 y/o white boy character) happily exclaiming something like how he's apparently "Better Off Dead!" when he gets a soda poured on him and destroyed, huh? Oh Wait! I forgot.. That was Paper-Jam Dipper!

Nope. I think crippled queer kids would much rather appreciate Toby and Minty being there just fine. After all, I think that it must be the first time we've ever seen any visible wheelchair users in a Queer Coded Disney Show since Kim Possible. Let alone this queer coded and let alone twice. And they're two separate characters existing at the same time and their presence doesn't even revolve around teaching anyone anything! They're just ALLOWED to EXIST!

Didn't see anything like this in Grabbity Balls though, did see a stereotypical man-ish little girl with a big, deep man-ish voice be implied to have "something wrong with her" by an adult authority figure character who's voiced by the same straight, white, openly anti-black Canadian man that you all have been heralding as the ultimate alley for your fictional LGBTQ+ Cartoon Characters' rights, for some reason.

At least the Star Crew tried to give us this:

Which in my opinion was a bit more forwarded and impactful than some dude bro frat boy "love guru" type character just wearing a bunch of symbols and ornaments around his neck, even if they both didn't get through the censors ... You all know this is way more explicit than that.

Speaking of in your face and explicit Queer Coding:

Golly gee... I wonder why such cute and beefy but shy Little Leather Monster Complete with his own Harness and what appears to be a Gimp Mask just had to be regulated to the back?! So funny how Daron Nefcy literally said Disabled Rights, Trans Rights, and Leather/Kinkster Rights while Alex Hirsch only said Eugenics, "Trans Rights" (if you can pass to him, if he can pronounce your name, and you don't say "bae" ) and of course, let's not forget Cops at Pride, despite how little they could apparently both get away with... :)

... But of course, the last and most important Queer Reading to me in Star vs. :

The whole idea of being forced to be with someone you don't love to the point where you have to take a Secret Lover and elope with them and preserve your own sanity because you're a"Bad Girl" who likes a lot of dirty, kinky things to the point where your own voice actress is herself an open kinkster who likes dirty kinky things and that shows through her fun performance, as well as the canonical writings of this kinky character.

And we're not even getting into all of the WAM and Food Fetish stuff in Star vs. The Forces of Evil but it's there, and it's 'glorious'

And after the show is over ,like the actual Queen of Darkness you are, you gotta go sue your old washed up has-been rock star ex boyfriend for misusing the forces of what he says is kink to abuse you ... Because kink is great actually and he's just evil.

Anyway, Esmé Bianco is amazing.

Don't even get me started on Meteora and the blatant disrespect. Especially after Jessica Walter's passing.

I'm writing this post because I'm just ... So fucking sick of people shitting all over the wonderful representation that Star vs. was able to even achieve in favor of praising Alex Hirsch, every time... When in reality, Star vs. The Forces of Evil has overall better representation and overt, and, as some have even said, both in out the show, literally abject Queerness in it than Hirsch will ever have in whichever eye y'all tried to put the eye-patch on your sexy twink Bill Ciphers only to have Hirsch shit on all that and immediately "fix it" by redesigning it as some disfigured ablest caricature before literally switching over to yet another anti-black one.

Dana broke up with Hirsch for a reason: He's a jerk!

If you think that Daron didn't do a "queer enough" narrative with Star vs. despite it being so by it's nature since day one, despite that being already being promised by it's very nature in it's influence being Sailor Moon and Scott Pilgrim, and if you read the Book of Spells even and still say shit like: "I don't see how Star vs. is QUEER????"

Then like, I'm sorry you can't look a little deeper to find that queerness already everywhere in the narrative all around you and if you actually think that Alex Hirsch ever did Representation TM better than Daron Nefcy, all I can say is that I'm sorry you're like a misogynist with shit taste in men and I'm so glad Dana Terrace is free from her shitty boyfriends shadow now at least.

Saying something even more petty about this because I'm gay: A giant, "Size Shifting", People Eating, Purple Pussy Monster who spends his time in mostly just booty shorts, his Chocolate Fountain Jumping Wife who orgasms when she eats candy and left her arranged marriage so that could have more orgasms, and their Giantess, Purple Pussy Monster of a daughter who sucks the souls out of people and spent most of her life as the Milfier than her own Mom, Terrifying Headmistress of a reform school, where she sucked the life of her own students in a Bathory-uqse fashion, before blowing up her cyborg simp, with his own heart, then probably being able to use the severed arm of her Lizard Cyborg Ex Boyfriend as a make-shift dildo to get a final wank in before ultimately experiencing a growth spurt, losing her mind, and killing everyone ... Will always be more Queer in their very nature, than a floating stale dorito in a top hat and two "gay" cops that are designed to be classicist, racist stereotypes for the sake of the unspoken running "joke" that they could even get along, ever were...

And again... If you're an adult and 'Star Vs.' still isn't enough for you... Then maybe you should STOP looking to cartoons and Disney for your ideal representation and make your own...

I'm done.

[dballzposting]

Hello tumblr user dballzposting, i've had a terribly latin american goten and trunks idea while thinking about making myself some maté (weirdass boiling tea-esque argentinian-paraguayan-uruguayan concoction served in a little rotund cup-esque thing that is drank with a metal straw-like thing that isn't really a straw but works like one but better so you dont swallow the leaves and herbs in the little rotund son of a bitch, anyway big part of it is that it's bitter and you drink it while its HOT as balls) and i'm hoping you do not mind the completely cultural dissonance of this ask, i will try to make this make sense

but thinking about mate and how i personally think the Son family is very rural and whatnot and it's canon to some extent but i like to give it some third worlder campo flavor- anyway, i don't think Goten likes maté, but i think Trunks loves it, and Goten kinda resents him for that (its not that serious but trunks can get a little annoying)

because maybe one day trunks comes over to their house and chichi and gohan are there having some maté and like facturas(pastries, see "facturas argentinas" for a clearer picture) and toast with dulce de leche(it solos nutella, change my mind) and trunks never tried maté because bulma doesn't really drink it even if she likes it cause she has a shitty rich ppl coffee machine so trunks drinks that, and vegeta too.. maybe. So trunks has never really tried maté and gohan offers him some because he's nice and goten looks at him expecting him to either burn his tongue or not like it because it's so bitter (he's projecting.) but trunks actually really likes it and he asks gohan how to make it and goten is flabbergasted

days later trunks starts drinking it while he's doing his machine tinkering thing or maybe doing homework (cause the maté thing is like a young teen issue) and he becomes really good at it and at some point he's outside maybe just laying in the grass in some capsule corp garden and drinking maté and vegeta finds him and he usually wouldn't give a shit but he asks to try whatever the fuck has the boy addicted and he likes it too because trunks drinks it bitter and boiling and i think vegeta would too, so it kinda becomes a father-son bonding activity to wake up everyday and have vegeta yell "BOY. MAKE ME SOME MATÉ" or the objectively funnier spanish version: "NENE, CEBAME UN MATE." ("nene" is way closer to meaning "kid" or "child" than it is to "boy" tbh and that just makes it better) and trunks is like "sure" and he makes some and they drink some in silence together (because you don't use individual "cups" for it, you both have to drink it from the same one and refill it from a thermos. maté drinking is a social activity.) and then vegeta flies off to train and trunks goes to school and maybe bulma is there sometimes because she misses drinking maté (and maybe trunks forgets that yamcha fucked his dad, maybe.)

and now when goten comes over to his house trunks offers him maté as a joke to bother him because he knows he doesn't like it (he doesn't like it the way trunks drinks it, or his family drinks it, there's a different version of maté that instead of boiling water has some sort of fruit juice and ice called tereré and i think goten would love that) and goten is done with him and he tells him "SABES QUE NO ME GUSTA EL MATE SOS UN FORRO TRUNKS NO VENGO MAS A TU CASA DE MIERDA" ("YOU KNOW I DONT LIKE MATÉ YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE TRUNKS I'M NEVER COMING OVER TO YOUR SHITTY HOUSE AGAIN" but its funnier knowing the insult "forro" is also another word for condom) and he says so as he's turning on the playstation and sitting down on the couch so he has no intention of leaving but he wants trunks to know that he's being a bitch about his newfound love of maté and that he's deleting fortnite off his ps5 if he keeps this on

also i think videl and gohan would have those shitty picnics some argentinian families have all the time in like those big ass parks and they drink maté and eat these very specific argentinian cookies and i came up with this bit of the delusion solely on the basis of "yeah this would be great enrichment for pan because when i was tiny like her they took me to those shitty picnics all the time and i turned out ok." and also they could invite goten and trunks so they can pick up a football or something and trunks is like sitting with them on the dumbass picnic banquet like "can i make the maté :)?" and he's so happy about it like in his relaxed cool guy wannabe way but he's also like genuinely happy about it and gohan can tell and he's like "sure :)" and trunks does that and every time they are passing around the maté trunks passes it over to goten who looks like he wants to explode him with his mind

and trunks could make some tereré for goten i guess but it's not like he made it FOR HIM specifically while THINKING ABOUT HIM or thinking about what GOTEN would ENJOY or whatever, yknow?

yours truly, yu7i, i'm sorry

I...

I want to play Miitopia with you. So bad

Hey this post is long I hope y’all don’t mind me sticking a readmore on this sonofabitch. Whatever my response is gonna be doesnt matter much .. It’s done and said right there innit.

- I didn’t know that the character limit on asks was so ... liberal.

- Thank you for the description of maté.. My only exposure beforehand has been the yerbe maté on Tomodachi Life (3DS game).

- I dont know what to fucking say. This is so important. First paragraph alone is both engrossing and lethal.

- I like the things you say and the way in which you say them.

- You cant just put this in someone’s inbox and expect them to be okay.

- You can make your own textposts and @ me in them and then other people can access your genius without having to trudge through my response .. for your consideration. You don’t have to. Whatever you’re comfortable with

- This is so real ... so in-character and believable.

- We can cross this with the dballzposting cinematic universe and point out that Vegeta had boobs (for fashion purposes) for around 2 years and he got rid of them when Trunks was around 14 I think. That is to say, it wasn’t too long ago compared to this. And during that time Trunks and Vegeta didn’t really talk much or hang out much because Trunks was perturbed by the boob thing because no one ever bothered to explain it to him. So his relationship with his father took a hit. And now it’s being healed by maté time! :D 

- Trunks lying outside enjoying the sun enjoying maté time and his father just quietly manifests. Arms crossed. Standing out of Trunks’s peripheral. Catching the breeze in his hair. (ok this is baby’s first spanish so be gentle. Here I go.) “Qué tomás.” (I put an accent over the ‘a’ becasue I’m under the impression that you do that when conjugating in the vos form. I learned of this form only an hour ago so please correct me if I’m wrong / if it’s of minor importance...)

- I’ve been trying to answer this ask on and off for three hours now. ((editor’s note: as mentioned at the end of this post I am hitting post in the morning so that people will see it. But this post stole sleep from me last night))

-  "NENE, CEBAME UN MATE." Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you

- THE IMAGE OF THEM DRINKING IT IN SILENCE..... I had the thought though that if Vegeta doesn’t know what it is or the custom about it then he could have very well expected his own cup. And when Trunks was like “No we gotta drink it together it’s how you do it” he could’ve assumed that Trunks was just fucking with him. And then I had the thought of Vegeta still insisting on his own cup and then the two of them sitting AT THE SAME TABLE but drinking maté in SEPARATE CUPS and I need you to please tell me if that would be so disturbing and jarring to see and definitely symbolic of a deeply disconnected relationship OR if it would be SOO PETTY and THE FUNNIEST VISUAL GAG EVER or if it would be yknow just not a big deal given the context. Or even maybe just a little funny. Let me know.

- Yeah maybe Trunks forgets about the boobs and about how Yamucha fucked his dad .. Maybe things go back to normal ...

- Bulma would definitely like maté. She drinks so much coffee on the original dragon ball. She loves bitter shit 

- This was such an important section:  “’SABES QUE NO ME GUSTA EL MATE SOS UN FORRO TRUNKS NO VENGO MAS A TU CASA DE MIERDA’ (’YOU KNOW I DONT LIKE MATÉ YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE TRUNKS I'M NEVER COMING OVER TO YOUR SHITTY HOUSE AGAIN’ but its funnier knowing the insult ‘forro’ is also another word for condom) and he says so as he's turning on the playstation and sitting down on the couch so he has no intention of leaving but he wants trunks to know that he's being a bitch about his newfound love of maté and that he's deleting fortnite off his ps5 if he keeps this on”

I KNOW they have a ps5. And I didn’t recognize the verb “sos” so I spent like an hour (my computer is slow) googling it and reading what I could find and now I know about it & that’s why I put that accent on that “a” earlier and if that’s stupid you can tell me but if it’s good and fine and accurate then that’s thrilling too.

Why did you send this in today. I did not have the time for this today. It’s now been like 3 and a half hours. I didnt HAVE THIS TIME TONIGHT..!

- The way you went on about the picnics is so funny to me becasue you exclusively described them with pejorative adjectives like it’s just something you KNOW ABOUT and SEE but it’s not something that you DO but also you used to but it’s WHATEVER it’s just a THING that people DO in these huge ass parks like who CARES ugh. Adds character and makes the post shine. Really solidifies the tone

-  “and he's so happy about it like in his relaxed cool guy wannabe way but he's also like genuinely happy” SO HIM UGH. So him. I’ve seen it. On screen

- I CAN SEE GOTEN WANTING HIM TO EXPLODE HIM WITH HIS MIND ... IN MY OWN MIND... Hold on. 

ok i tried.

- “and trunks could make some tereré for goten i guess but it's not like he made it FOR HIM specifically while THINKING ABOUT HIM or thinking about what GOTEN would ENJOY or whatever, yknow? “ <- I can’t tell if this is sarcasm or not. Maybe, like all great literature, it is up for interpretation. I think that he would make it and then not ever pass the mug to Goten and when Goten sheepishly tries to grab it, Trunks moves it away and is like “But you didn’t want any earlier! You didnt WANT social drink time!!” and Goten is like “That was A DIFFERENT DRINK..” and Trunks is like “Well how do you know!” and Goten is like “I watched you make it” and Trunks insists “You don’t know!”  and drinks it in front of him. You know 

- Goten didn’t HAVE ANYTHING AGAINST maté before, he did not like it but he wasnt BITTER about it or anything he wasnt that BIASED. He was just like “yeah no thanks I think that that shit is foul” yknow? Like he thought it was YUCKY and he couldn’t believe when people took to it so readily but it wasnt a big part of his personality or anything. But Trunks made it a thing. And now it’s a thing 

- Not my estadounidense ass typing alt+0233 on my keyboard every time to get that “é”

It is my bed time. I shall hit post on this tomorrow morning so that people have a chance to see it. Thanks for the shot of dopamine. I consider your asks to be a dense pill of vitamins. IDK maybe you do make a bunch of textposts and I just don’t know it. Feel free to @ me any time. My followers and more would love you I think 

[destinygoldenstar]

Golden Analyzes 2001 Nominees “Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius”

*Have Not Seen Prior*

So, we have an… interesting choice for our first movie on the list. From my understanding, this is part of a TV show. I don’t know if the movie is connected to the show or not. I would hope not so I can just judge this alone.

Me and my GF are both going into this completely blind. Neither of us have seen the show. I have not seen the show. I’ve heard about Jimmy Neutron, but I’ve seen zero episodes and I’ve seen zero scenes from the show.

The only things I know about the show are that it’s about a boy that’s Einstein levels of genius, and he’s voiced by a woman. (Debi Derryberry) That’s a weird fact to know about a show I’ve never seen, but that’s a fact I know.

I want to be pleasantly surprised though since this is a nomination. I’m expecting the other two to be better, but this one I want to be surprised by.

My one hope is that it’s not tied to the show. Like ‘you need to have seen the show to understand it’. That’ll NOT be helpful.

Reaction Quotes:

(Bold is my GF’s words)

*Reading the synopsis of the movie* “Just in parenthesis ‘okay, it’s the kitchen toaster, but it works!’ 😂 Oh this is gonna be wild. ‘Is picked up by an alien species-‘they must really love toast’-in the dark of night the aliens fly their war ships IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-‘ I’m not gonna read the rest.”

“Oh that’s rough.” “Why are their heads so big?” “I was looking at the scenery and the lighting of the sky and going ‘this actually looks pretty good’” “But then you see the people and it’s… yeah…”

“They should be dead. How are you breathing?!” “Where is their oxygen supposed to be?! There’s no protection!” “‘This is a story about a super genius’ Dies in the first minutes of the movie. Movies over. Goodbye.”

”Where’s the thermosphere at? The heat shield. There’s supposed to be a heat barrier in the atmosphere.” (I spend half the movie nerding out about astrology facts like this)

“I was more so worried why his nose is so big.” “You can tell the boy carried a lot of his moms genes.”

“This is the real reason why they’re angry. ‘We don’t care that you went to space and could’ve died! YOU BROKE OUR CAR WITH THE CHIMNEY!’”

*’We’ve repeatedly told you not to talk to strangers’* “Social media in a nutshell. This movie was ahead of its time. Just replace aliens with ‘person on the Internet’. And it makes exactly as much sense.”

“I would never want to eat that gum ball. Why is it glowing?”

”So the dinosaurs had a reverse patriarchy.”

“The next day: ‘Attention Students, we’ve come to inform you that your teacher has been found dead this morning. Cause of death: Caterpillar.’”

“That is the worlds most useless invention.”

“Everyone’s totally cool with this child jet packing around. A kid who should probably not be in elementary school and be in a lab.”

“Your social media inbox. ‘Aw, no one liked my post recently.’”

“Who needs to use money when you can make your own jewelry? This is what this kid casually does in his spare time.”

(At the time I didn’t get he was trying to bribe his mom)

“Chicken! The aliens are CHICKENS.”

(To be fair, I was half right)

“HI. DO YOU LIKE TOAST?!”

*’Apologize to your parents : They love you’ ‘Next.’* 😂😂 “‘Apologize to your parents’ NOPE.’” “…” “You’ve done that.” “…maybe…”

“‘Unwrapping your gifted child’?!?! OH MY- that’s wrong. That’s so wrong. That’s not what gifted child means. Oh my god that’s so dated…”

“Okay, NO.” “That was lucky.” “He should’ve been caught immediately.”

“That was his life dream.” “Just touching a llama. Love that kid. He’s such a wet cat.”

“Look at the name of the ride. ‘Bat Outta Heck’. Cause it’s a kids movie. You can’t say hell. I’m pretty sure heck and hell don’t even mean the same thing.”

(Unprofessional cuss user alert)

“Is the message of the movie ‘Listen to your parents or they’ll get abducted by aliens?”

“‘Dear Son/Daughter’. They couldn’t tell what gender Jimmy is. Jimmy is non-binary confirmed??”

“And there’s just a few kids crying on the street curb missing their parents. Bet. Bet right now.”

(I wasn’t that far off)

“There are no survivors, Sheen.”

“That’s not how weight gain works.”

“Does Sheen not have a mom? Really looks like it by that letter.”

(Only Sheen’s dad shows up later. But we haven’t seen the show, so… maybe? Someone inform me.)

“‘WERE GONNA DESTROY YOU!! WERE GONNA BURN YOUR HOUSE DOW-‘ ‘I know how to get your parents back’ ‘Okay’.”

*‘We blow up… but just a little bit’* 😂😂 “You’ll only blow up a LITTLE bit. You’ll probably DIE. But you know, you only die a LITTLE BIT.”

“Now we know these kids are from America. Cause they’re playing ‘Kids in America’ as the insert song.”

“I studied astrology actually. I know that’s not how meteor showers work.” *Goes on a five minute rant about how meteor showers work* “…realistically. They’d die in one hit.”

“They would not be able to make fires.” “Cause you need oxygen.” “Yes. And they wouldn’t be able to breathe because-“ *ASTROLOGY NERD ALERT*

(I won’t torture you guys with the knowledge I spilled during the reaction)

“Unless you’re queer. Then you won’t 🏳️‍🌈”

(Queer Jimmy and Carl?)

“That planet is not even close to the size of Pluto. How is gravity not making them float into nothingness? How gravity on planets work is-“

*ASTROLOGY NERD ALERT*

”You yourself said they were mind controlled! ‘Oh, they’re mind controlled and therefore probably loyal to the bad guys. LETS TRY AND TALK TO THEM!’ Stupid…”

“I think that’s just Sheen being Sheen. As in, He’s Stupid.”

*Adults doing the chicken dance* “What the hell are we watching right now?” “The movie’s gone off the rails.” *Sheen makes his comment* 😂😂 “Okay I take it back. For that line alone, Sheen won some points from me.”

“It IS a chicken! I was right!” “That doesn’t even look like a chicken”

“You would not realistically be able to go even NEAR a star like that. Realistically you’d die instantly because-“ *ASTROLOGY NERD ALERT*

(SHUT UP PAST ANALYZGOLDEN)

“That was the tipping point for him.” “You kidnap everyone’s parents? Sure. Try to kill them? Fine. But poke fun at my size OH BOY-“ “It reminds me of a vine I saw.”

(This is that vine)

“Carl’s mother’s face SCREAMS ‘I want a divorce’”

“You can’t ground me! I put a label on it! It’s your fault you can’t read!”

Review:

It was fine.

By the end of the movie, neither me nor my GF had anything to say. Which says quite a bit.

But we were both alright sitting through it so that’s good.

For a TV movie, I was at least glad that I was able to follow along with the story perfectly fine. I feel like the movie well establishes who Jimmy is, what the conflict of the movie is, what the world is like (as unrealistic as it is), and all that jazz.

As for if it made me interested in checking out the show?? No. Not really. But I think it just has to do with ‘this is a kids movie. And I am a grown woman in her 20s.’

Because, yeah, this movie gives a lot of ‘boy power’ energy. And is rather sexist at some points. BUT I am not going to call it point deduction for it because this came out in 2001, and it’s kid-centric and kids are sexist as hell-sorry-HECK. I remember as a Kindergartner I was a mansogynistic piece of garbage. So really this movie is just being realistic for a kids mindset and I can’t really dock points for it.

More than the other two nominees, I feel like this movie is textbook ‘This is a kids movie’.

With the other two, while they are also targeting kids, they have themes and a level of script depth that they are classified as ‘for all ages’.

This one, it’s very obvious they are targeting children and trying to appeal to children.

And well, being a nominee, I think it succeeded at that. But again, as an adult, I can’t really say if it succeeded or not.

I will say though, as a kids movie with a very surface level kids movie message, it is a good one that gets the point across really well.

Really, I can’t complain about teaching kids not to associate with strangers because that is so right.

Also it’s social media in a nutshell.

I also appreciate that the parent characters are NOT painted in a negative light in the end.

Not only were they right, but they’re also very loving parents who clearly care about their kid. Also shows that while Jimmy would, in our world, be in colleges at his age, he is still a child who doesn’t know every moral that’s needed.

He’s also a sweet and humble kid despite his mistakes throughout the movie. Going in I thought that the movie was gonna be about a kid that’s so smart he’s arrogant about it and thinks he’s better than the others. But that was absolutely not the case as he shows massive respect towards his friends.

Like when he compliments Carl’s frog drawing while he’s over here drawing blueprints for a rocket ship. That’s such a small thing but it’s so wholesome and makes Jimmy a likeable lead that works for this story.

Even if he IS the reason everything goes wrong and the movies knows it and addresses it.

This kid doomed the human race because he recklessly tried to contact aliens.

Like… yeah. That was his mistake.

It’s at least satisfying to see a mistake from the protagonist acknowledged, punished accordingly, and they come out better by fixing their mistake. (*cough cough*)

And despite me saying before that the movie had some casual sexism thrown around, I do at the very least appreciate that the major girl character was NOT a mean girl archetype. She’s more so a snarky ally and redeems herself in the dungeon scene by being the voice of reason.

Is redemption even the right word? Probably not. I think it’s more so she shows that she’s not as awful and gross as the boys make her out to be.

The two boys in Jimmy’s friend group are more so ‘there’. (They probably do more in the show) But I can’t say they’re useless to the plot. Carl is a figure to talk to when it’s needed, and Sheen gets the ship to save everyone at the end. It gives them a purpose and I appreciate that over if they were fully just standing there.

Also I’m 90% convinced all three of these kids are on the neurodivergent spectrum.

The cool kid character (Nick, I think that’s his name) was pretty insignificant though. I get his archetype. I get he drives the plot to get the kids to want to go to the amusement park, but the posters were enough to do that I think. And then he cowers at the sight of the chicken alien at the end. So…

And the villains are villains and are there to be villains. They do their job and there’s not much else to them as characters. The main alien eats a fluffy pet creature to establish the evils.

And I will give the movie this for someone who’s basing this off one viewing. They really got me with the chicken foreshadowing.

I caught the chicken spaceships. My GF caught the aliens helmets being eggs. Neither of us caught the name ‘Poultra’. And yet we DID NOT predict that the main overlord was a chicken somehow.

Even if it ends up doing nothing. Even if it’s an ugly character design.

Yeah most of the character designs of this movie are… not great. But I also acknowledge that this could both be a stylistic choice and a date thing. This came out in 2001. So… yeah, not only is the character design rough, but the animations are also ROUGH.

Some of these designs gave me Diary of a Whimpy Kid vibes. Everyone that isn’t Jimmy and his mom just does not look right to my subjective brain cells.

The backgrounds actually look very decent at the time, as does the smoke at the beginning. It’s surprisingly well done.

But then you get some of the liquid animations… I said out loud that this gave me Foodfight animation vibes. Ew.

I’ve seen a movie worse than Foodfight though, so…

But even at that, I can’t deny that the movie is creative with the stuff these kids come up with.

I mean, they use amusement park rides as spaceships! That’s cool!

Even if it’s unrealistic. Half of the movie reaction was me nerding out to my GF about astrology facts I knew.

Astrology was always the one science subject in school I always aced and always knew everything about and studied in my spare time about.

The other thing is the movie’s use of insert songs. The only one I remembered distinctly was Kids In America cause it established that these kids were, indeed, Americans. But otherwise it was fine. I didn’t hate it.

Shrek may or may not does it better though.

I think my biggest problem with the movie is the pacing. It goes by really quick sometimes and it becomes very jarring to me. The movie is 80 minutes, but I honestly feel like it could’ve been 10 or 15 minutes longer.

It’s especially bad in the second half of the movie after the parents get abducted and it took me out of the movie a bit because of it.

For how much they establish the kids not wanting their parents around, they react positively of them disappearing and we get a whole montage of them living out their child-like dreams without rules… then immediately at the end of that montage everyone suddenly misses their kids and we only see a change in perspective after a news report. (Which was somehow built in the span of a day?)

I felt like that was way too quick for these kids to change their minds on the matter for how much the movie established they wanted this. I would’ve had like, maybe five more minutes or Jimmy realizing on his own accord that he misses his parents. Same for the other kids.

Same thing with the angry mob that shows up at his yard. It looks like it’s gonna be a massive blowout scene of Jimmy struggling to explain the situation to a bunch of angry sugar high children. But then it jump cuts to him explaining the situation and all the kids are instantly better. How did he deal with the fury of the mob?

I also feel like the alien kingdom sneak in was very rushed. They take no time going straight to finding the mind controlled parents and getting locked up. There’s next to no time to establish this alien society as a result. I feel like I know nothing about these aliens and their world aside from ‘they love chickens and worship a chicken’.

That and the final chicken alien fight was very rushed. You have CHILDREN overpowering adult aliens (I think they’re adults), I’m gonna need a bit more of an explanation than brain power to make this seem believable.

So that’s why I really feel like the movie could’ve been about 15 minutes longer. By the second half of the movie, as cool as it was to see them go to space, I was also checking the time bar to see how much longer the movie was.

For two non-Jimmy Neutron fans, both me and my GF decided that this was a fairly solid kids movie that we were not the target audience for. It’s competently made. It’s a good kid power movie with a good message for kids.

But I’m not in a hurry to watch this twice or check out the show after watching it.

I feel like it’s not fair to compare this movie to Monsters Inc and Shrek, both far more ‘all age’ oriented movies than this one. But both of those movies also do a lot of what this movie does and better. So I don’t think anyone is gonna argue with me saying this is the weakest of the three nominations by… not a small margin.

But does that mean it didn’t deserve a nomination? Eh…? I’ll have to look at what was submitted that year, but maybe this movie did deserve it. Really, movies like this should be proud of getting recognized and nominated. Regardless if in an Internet reviewer’s opinion it deserved it or not.

Anyway, that’s it for this movie. We’re doing these movies in alphabetical order, so Monsters Inc. is the next one on our list. Look forward to it.

[l0renz0sgf]

POV: you get convinced by your best friend pansy to go to the first Yule ball after party and the Slytherins are hosting…let’s just say Theo,draco, and Blaise can all play the guitar heheheh🎸🎸🎸

btw I made a playlist for this

lorenzolover is my user and the playlist is called Yule ball after party remake!

Hey guys this is my first time ever writing b4 so just feel free to leave me some feed back but I thought of this and I can’t forget about it

Also I’m writing this while listening to AM on vinyl and my mahogany apple candle is burning I mean how fitting okay whatever I need to stop okay bye

Everyone is in 6th year!!! All characters in this are either head cannons or Jk Rowlings creds to all!!

Warnings: mention of alcohol and drugs, fighting between characters , kissing

enjoy!!

“Y/N!!!!!” Pansy yells at you from the bathroom connected to your shared dorm. You walk in to see her struggling to zip her short black silk dress and her Yule ball dress on the ground in the corner. You walk over and let out a small laugh before eventually helping your friend out. “Wow pans you look breathtaking” you say before you could do anything else Pansy grabs your hands while begging you to go to the party with her. While in potions a week ago the both of you had been told by Blaise that they are throwing the first Yule ball after party. You have never been a big party person only ever going to small gatherings usually held at the black lake. I mean what can you say you’re a simple gal. “Please please PLEASE Y/N please come to the party I promise you will have sooo much fun plus a special someone is going to be there” she says with a smirk. You cheeks immediately turn a dark pink knowing exactly who she was talking about… the one and only Theodore Nott but I mean you couldn’t help it he’s gorgeous and has always had a soft spot for you. After five more minutes of begging you cave in and decide to go. “ YAY Y/N I have the perfect dress that will match y/e/c” Pansy said while practically grinning from ear to ear. Pansy begins searching her closet for the dress when she eventually pulls out a dark green body con dress. You’ve never been one to wear tight dress because you found them uncomfortable but you had no other choice. “ well what are you waiting for put it on we only have thirty minutes!!” Pansy says while laying the dress onto your bed. You go to put it on and take a look in your mirror and you think to your self damn I look good. After you are done changing into your new dress you hang your Yule ball dress onto the door of the closet before closing it you grab your black stilettos.

You and Pansy take a few polaroid pictures before walking out the door to the boys dorm. Just as you are about to knock Theo comes walking up the stairs in his unbuttoned white oxford shirt and dress pants. You think to yourself god that he looks so good. ( okay but imagine that like omg) “Oh hey guys” Theo greeted before walking to the door to unlock it and walk in. You and Pansy walk through the door and see Blaise performing a spell to double his supply of fire whiskey so they have enough for the party. Draco is in the bathroom applying cologne. Draco walks out and says “ Okay let’s go guys we have to get all this alcohol downstairs” everyone nods and each person grabs two bottles. As you’re walking down the stairs you lose your balance and almost fall until you feel an arm around your waist saving you from face-planting. You look behind you and see Theo smirking at you but before you can say thank you he bends down to your ear and whispers “be careful I don’t want you hurting that pretty face of yours”. All you could do was blush and turn your head in an attempt to hide it but little did you know he already saw the effect he had on you. Once Theo let go of your waist so you could continue walking you couldn’t help but feel a pain of sadness since he was no longer touching you. After setting up the whiskey ,casting a silencing charm on the common room, and setting up the lights and music the room was finally ready. After thirty minutes the room was filled with people dancing and loud music. You hated to admit but you were having the time of your life. You were dancing with Pansy in the middle of the dance floor you were on your second drink and started to feel buzzed. Adrian Pucey and his other friends were drunk and started to try and dance with Cho Chang who was waiting for Cedric to get back with drinks for the two. “Please go away Pucey! I told you I’m not interested” she continued to plead but he didn’t care.” Hey Pucey she said she’s not interested just back off ” Cedric said with two drinks in his grasp. “ come on Cho I know you are just playing hard to get” Pucey persisted but Cedric had enough and gave the drinks to Cho before pushing Pucey away. “ She said she isn’t interested.” Pucey pushed Cedric back and threw the first punch. Cedric punches Pucey until Pucey gets knocked into the speaker causing the music to stop. Everyone starts complaining until Draco yells out to everyone to hold on. He rushes up the stairs to his shared dorm. Following along are Theo and Blaise. You look at Pansy with a confused expression that she shares with you. The boys come back down stairs with guitars in hand. Theo’s hand around the neck of the electric guitar. You can’t help but stare. Draco connects a new speaker to all of the boys guitars and continues the music.

Start playing in my feelings by Lana del Ray!!

Draco is the first to start strumming his guitar. Theo and Blaise joining along. Everyone started to yell and cheer at the boys who saved the party and god did they look so good. Pansy and you are both star struck not knowing they are had the ability to play guitar. This only made you attracted to Theo even more. You and Pansy began to swing your hips to the music together when you make eye contact with Theo. Your heart started to skip a beat and the both of you held eye contact until he eventually winked and closed his eyes throwing his head back as he continued the song. (Peep the cover page but imagine it’s a electric guitar) The night continues and you were eyeing Theo down as the boys are playing their final song of the the night, Call Out My Name by the weekend. Pansy saw you staring and whispered into your ear” if it makes you feel better Y/N he’s been staring at you all night too” that made your stomach flutter. As the song came to an end, you looked up to see Theo walking over to you after finishing the song. Pansy had walked away to go talk to Blaise and Draco leaving you guys alone. Now Theo was stood in front of you causing you to have to tilt your neck back so you could see him. He said something but you couldn’t hear it. He took a note of this and bent down to your eye level and said “ I asked how did you like it” all you could do was think about how close you were to him. You eventually gathered the words to say” I loved it don’t get me wrong but I didn’t know you could play, why did you never tell me?” you asked the boy. Theo smirked and said “ well some things are just better off as surprises”. He held out his hand sending you the message that he wanted to dance. You slowly reached your hand out to connect it with his.

start playing she by harry styles!

Draco and Blaise had gone back for one last song because Pansy begged for them to play your favorite song basically setting you up but what’s new. You and Theo started to sway to the music and you mumbled “I love this song” not thinking he could hear you. But he already knew this he always noticed how you would hum this song while trying to focus on making a potion or how you would always request it at gatherings. He took notice of everything you did. As the song continued the two of you maintained eye contact. Your arms were draped over the back of his neck and his hands rested on your hips while swaying them to the song. The space between the two of you had slowly started to close as the song neared the end. Theo bent down to your ear and whispered “ you look beautiful tonight” making your ears warm and causing you to hide you face in the crook of his neck. Theo let go of your waist letting one of his hand gently prop your chin up so you could look at him. Your breath hitched and you were thinking this can’t be real this can’t be real. It felt like it were only you two in the room now. As if you both noticed, you couldn’t help it anymore and closed the space between you. Your lips touched and he immediately kissed back. Theo pulled you even closer by pushing your lower back with one hand and the other hand on your upper back. When you pulled back for air, Theo whispered into your ear and said “finally, but I was supposed to be the one to kiss you first”

Should I make a pt 2?

Is this even good?

Idk this is so cringe what am I doing

[pappydaddy]

style (j.m.)

a/n: so, i had this idea when i was wandering around my room in my new cute bra that i am in love with this morning and i wrote this in like two hours... i was thinking about it all day so i had to write it in my big-ass gap between classes (school work who? we don't know her, only fics).

anywho, this will be part of the 1989 collection whenever blonde releases the re-record (that's when i will publish the masterlist to the collection), but i couldn't not do this to this song - it would have been illegal and i am a criminology major after all...

i hope you like this one lovelies and for the people waiting on requests, i am working on them! trust me, they should be coming out shortly lovelies💛!

tv show/movie: outer banks

pairing: jj maybank x fem!kook!reader

not requested

synopsis: good-girl kook y/n and bad boy pogue jj, something that y/n doesn't want to go out of style. no matter what brought them together.

taglist: @rottenstyx | @boxofsilentwords | @popeheywardssecretgf | @lexi-2004 | @i-always-come-back-xoxo | @rootbeerfaygo | @luvhanns | @thelakespoets | @lonely-simplicityty | @smarie7543 *line through your user means i could not tag you lovely!

warnings: fwb kinda gig, secret relationship (a little), infidelity (kinda), steamy make-out, mention of being half naked

masterlist | taglist | wips | navigation

- not my gif -

Perhaps what they say is true, the good girls always go for bad boys. Or, perhaps the thrill of a secret romance with the boy who seems to bring trouble everywhere he goes is far too strong for anybody to resist. Whatever it is, Y/N loved it. She loved the thrill, the high, the rush she gets. Maybe that’s why she and JJ work so well together. The classic dynamic - the constantly in style romance. 

  Y/N questioned this all, just like normal, as she paced around her room after a long day. After getting up at five in the morning and doing nothing but tending to her studies, she was finally winding down for the night. Clad in her floral embroidered soft cupped (sheer) bra, her phone still in hand, her mind was ablaze. She knew they didn’t arrange to meet up tonight, but she kind of wished JJ would pull up in John B’s van with the headlights off to sneak her out of her parents' fortress of money and greed.

  Alas, here she stood, half-dressed in her favourite (and JJ’s favourite) short a-line skirt and low-cut top combination, her lips painted her classic red (a sight she loves to see smeared on JJ’s lips). She had dropped countless hints to him that her parent’s business trip had been extended for another week, but yet, he’s out with Sandra Hanson - the bitch from Gym class. “Tomorrow she is so getting a soccer ball to her new nose.” She grumbled. 

  It had taken a lot of persuading and Y/N intercepting her papers from getting to Kook Academy to convince her parents to keep her in public school. The argument being that she could use the fact she chose to continue with public education as an entrance essay topic and the fact she is taking all AP courses (except gym) as a leg up. Ironically enough, the only other Kook at public school was Sandra who had gotten kicked out of the academy for disorderly conduct.

  Groaning, she flopped down onto her bed, phone tumbling out of her hands from where the picture message Kie had sent her of Sandra and JJ looking close still sat on her screen. A ping made her look at it again, this time Sarah in their group chat, the same one Kie sent the picture in. ‘that bitch’ Sarah had typed. 

  ‘I know but they seem to be doing some sort of school work’ Kie typed back instantly. She had been picking the keys for the car up from her mother at the Wreck and spotted the two. JJ’s back was to her, failing to realise one of his friends and Y/N’s best friend was there. 

  ‘jj? doing school work? unlikely’ Sarah replied, the pings dinging in Y/N’s ears as she laid there. Groaning, she covered her face with a pillow, the bed bouncing from the movement. ‘idk tho why would jj suddenly take interest in Sandra when hes obvo obsessed with y/n something’s up’ Sarah double texted. 

  ‘they are leaving. in separate cars’ Kie updated. As much fun and no matter how much Y/N finds her head spinning in delight whenever JJ is involved, she couldn’t help but remember times like this. When she can’t get a read on him. It has been weeks since they officially talked or hung out. It had been sneaky note slipping when eating lunch with the group, partnering up in gym, and late-night texts sent hours apart. Nobody knew about them. They knew they were smitten with each other and liked each other, but nobody knew about them and it was driving Y/N crazy. 

  They went in these circles all the time. Hot, heavy, and constant for a month then barely anything for weeks until JJ comes to her, telling her that her little outfits at school were driving him crazy or telling her he missed her. She hated this part of it. It was enough for a little voice in her head to tell her to not let him into the house next time, but she always did anyway. 

  Huffing, she stood up from her bed. There was no point in staying up later than it already is just to wait around in an empty house for a boy who wasn’t gonna show up. Plugging her phone in, she shuffled around the room, deciding a nice unplugged bath was needed. “Whew, didn’t know I would be greeted like this.” JJ’s muffled voice startled her. Looking to her partially open window, she saw him crouched on her roof, a boyish smile on his lips. That same boyish smile that got her to do anything he wanted. 

 ��His eyes landed on her bra-clad breasts and stayed there while she walked over, unlocking and opening the window the rest of the way. Without hesitating, JJ crawled in, making her step back. And then, it was just like he was home and Y/N had that voice in her head again. Sighing out in comfort and relaxation, JJ shrugged out of his leather jacket, tossing it to her desk chair without taking his eyes off her. “I hardly think it’s fair that you’re standing here half naked and I’m fully clothed.” He mentioned, hands gripping the bottom of his white t-shirt. 

  “I hardly think it’s fair that I was here thinking you would be coming to see me when you were tramping around town with Sandra Hanson tonight and Audrey Glassman last night.” She remarked, crossing her arms over her chest. Covering her sheer bra, but consequently pushing her boobs together. 

  JJ deflated, hands leaving his shirt before coming up to run through his hair that was actually slicked back like it usually is when he plans to see someone. There was a pang in her heart when she realised that it was meant for Sandra tonight. “Look, yes, I hung out with them, but Y/N, I couldn’t get you off my mind for the past few weeks. It’s been driving me mad. I couldn’t stop thinking about you when I was with them.” 

  Y/N rolled her eyes. She knew she should tell him to leave. She knew she should, but she didn’t. With a sigh, she let her hands swing to her side, eyes flicking up to meet his. She swore that for a second, she was feeling what her grandmother felt whenever she gushed about the time she met James Dean. The same handsome sparkle she sees in the old picture of the two (she was pretty sure they dated but, her grandmother won’t confess). “Yeah, I’ve been there too a few times.” She admitted. 

  It was true. JJ always seemed to occupy her mind. Even when she was with other guys. The way he cannot seem to keep his wild eyes on the road when they’re driving somewhere. The way he fits right into her house as if he lives there too. The way his eyes sparkled when he looked at her. It was never sexual (well, rarely) whenever she thought of him. Sure, she thought of his touch, but it was the comforting feel of his hand on her lower back as he’s guiding her to their private date spot in the dark or the light feeling of his fingertips pressing into her upper back whenever he feels protective over her (usually whenever Rafe is nearby). 

  “What do you say, Baby,” JJ asked, walking towards her. “You forgive me? Nothing happened with either of them, you have my word and I might not have much, but I do have that.” He told her, grabbing her hands, holding them up as he came chest to chest with her. His forehead leaned down, resting against hers as their noses brushed.

  Her eyes fluttered closed as she relished in the feeling. His breath fanned over her lips as he watched her intently, not doing anything until he knew for sure she was okay. Slowly, almost non-existent, there was a nod. “Yeah.” She breathed out. 

  “Good,” He breathed out in the same way. “Now, let me show you exactly why you were on my mind when I was with them.” He whispered seconds before their lips crashed together in a feverish kiss. It was messy, hands roaming everywhere, lips mushed together so hard it almost hurt. Tongues and a little bit of spit moving from mouth to mouth, but they didn’t care if drool was rolling down either of their faces. 

  Chests rose and fell rapidly and it was only a few seconds in, but that’s how passionate they are. Hands gripping the bottom of JJ’s t-shirt, Y/N pulled it up, her knuckles dragging along his abs (both for her pleasure and his) making his muscles ripple and his back hunch slightly. Humming into the kiss at the feeling, Y/N nearly ripped the shirt off him, JJ pulling away to get rid of the barrier before resuming the kiss with more vigour, forcefully lifting her up into the air, her legs wrapping around his waist as some sort of automatic response. 

  The air in the room was already thick with the smell of arousal and sex. Their skin became sticky as they worked each other up. It was as if they were a force when together, possessing the power to make any room seem like a sex room specifically used for sex twenty-four seven in under ten seconds. 

With her back pressed into the wall suddenly, JJ's weight pressing her flush against it, he rolled his pelvis into hers making her tear her lips away from him, the feeling of his clothed, jean-clad pelvis rolling against hers that was basically only covered by her panties due to her skirt riding up send shock waves through her body. His lips latched onto her throat without a second thought, inciting another gasp from her - a sound that drove him mad.

  Sure, she should have told him to leave, but that wouldn’t have fixed anything. There is no way to pull them apart. No matter how many times she tells him to leave, they just keep coming back because they will never go out of style. Never. Now, be that the sheer magnitude of their passion and feelings or the pull of the stereotype they so perfectly fit, Y/N had no idea, but she never wanted it to stop.   

[itsmyturnonthegender]

I guess I should make a dni *pained sigh*

Ok hi, hello, welcome to my humble abode. I've been gaining followers and since I follow back/interact with the vast majority of new people I see in my notifs, the recommended posts I get are deviating more than usual from my specific tastes. Overall, the deviations are good, I like being exposed to new things, and I'd rather not exist in an echochamber.

HOWEVER, there are some things I feel people have been disregarding when initiating interactions.

~Firstly, as this is the most common source of conflict, I am a man. I am a transgender nonbinary man and I am an enjoyer of men. I am also an enjoyer of women and nb folks but no-one on here has ever told me to off myself for it so that's beside the point

~I use multiple pronoun sets, including neopronouns and I support all non-standard pronoun users, pronouns do not equal gender.

~I'm a big fan of abortion, free healthcare, accessibility and acceptance for disabled peoples everywhere and am myself mentally ill

~It's frankly ridiculous that this is a point of contention for people. I believe in equal rights regardless of sex, gender, orientation, race, religion, or economic background. The only prerequisite for deserving human rights is being human.

~I do not give a shit what you get off on (unless you wish to involve me, in which case ask nicely in dms or on the spicy sideblog)

~Unless you are promoting or contributing to creators who use their influence to do real-world damage (*cough* rowling *cough*), I don't care what media you consume.

~I support systems of all origins. Your life story and medical history is none of my business and you don't owe that to anyone else either. You're valid and I'm glad to know you.

~Otherkin, alterhumans, therians and all other non- or semi-human identities are rad as hell. Headpats for the lot of you, or a shiny trinket to those who do not like touch.

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Things I tag somewhat consistently;

lUwUcien - my op tag

my fat boy - my dog, he is the bestest boy

not to be dramatic but I would die for Midnight - cat

cool art - any arty or crafty things, mine or otherwise

cool bug - all manner of creepy crawlies, I like em

tag game, ask game, rb game - all of the chain message type thingies

writer's block can suck my balls - my writing

lucien's very cool + sexy + funny voice timeline - exactly what it says on the tin

Fandom things are typically tagged with the full name i.e. the owl house, welcome to nightvale, the magnus archives, etc. There are some I use acronyms for but it's not common

If you need something trigger-tagged let me know, currently I tag blood, animal death, food, snakes, spiders, unreality, body horror and trypophobia

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Other blogs;

@writersblockcansuckmyballs writing

@sugar-spice-and-thicc-thighs spicy sideblog

@behold-thing art blog

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I have a store now

[igotathingforvampires]

Aro Volturi N.S.F.W Alphabet

CANON DIVERGENT.

Info on Reader: Reader is an Elemental Gift user like Benjamin

CW/TW: a SLIGHT MENTION of assault but NO DETAIL AT ALL (as a SA survivor I do not use this lightly but I do like representation and not having the survivor be that cliche broken doll we end abusers here thank you)

How you two met:

You…..oh you. You’re standing with the Cullens wondering how the FUCK you got here.

Why am I here? What’s with this tiny little kid who can touch me and tell me things. Awe but she’s cute.

You’re just a bored Vampire who knows Carlisle and is Esme’s BFF.

You’re a nomad, and a badass one, see your gift is the Elements like Benjamin, it’s why Amun has his eye on you and is freaked out.

You and Benji are buddies now. Benjamin specializes in Earth and Water. You specialize in Fire and Air.

So now, here you are watching a bunch of cloaked baddies stomping towards you. But Carlisle and you have spoken frequently, the Volturi aren’t bad.

However, they are cautious.

And caution bred by fear is something you know to be wary of.

So you keep yourself a bit behind Carly. Waiting and watching.

The leader— that must be Aro you think, flings his hood back and suddenly you feel your entire chest clench up and a yank within yourself towards him. “Oh what the fuck.” You growl. Glancing UP at the Old Gods you couldn’t help but snap at them “ARE YOU ALL KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW?! HIM?!”

The platinum haired man barked angrily, “who dares?!”

Aro is too busy glancing at his brother Marcus who’s smiling. He nods at Aro and huffs a bit of a sigh.

The raven haired man turns ever so slowly, casting his red gaze over the crowd and it falls to Carlisle. “Carly.”

“Aro?”

“Who is that behind you.” Aro can feel his chest hurt like a chain is being pulled.

Carlisle looks confused and glances behind him where you are shaking your head face palming—looking embarrassed.

Edward and Bella are utterly confused, before Edward listens to Aro’s and your thoughts and gets a look of disgust, “REALLY.” He barks.

You feel the rage of a thousand suns consume you. “I CAN’T PICK IT YA KNOW AND HEY WHADDAYA MEAN REALLY —ASSHOLE DON’T TALK ABOUT MY MATE LIKE THAT!”

The entire field is utterly still as you’re heaving, standing on your tip toes in front of the bronze haired vampire pointing at Edwards cringing face, “but it’s—“ he starts, you let out a growl and sparks fly off you.

Edward shuts up.

“I will light your ass on fire.” You whisper hiss.

The Volturi are just tilting their heads like WTF.

Marcus is trying not to laugh, Caius has just become stunned glancing between his brother and the woman across the battlefield.

Aro is getting GIDDY.

“And who is the girl.” He asks.

You turn, your hips swinging with attitude and your arms crossing as you scoff. “Psh, get a load of this Mother fucker,” you whisper to yourself glaring across the expanse of space. “HEY. I have a name.”

------

-----

His First Impression:

Of course my mate swears like a sailor.

Is Aro’s first thought.

His next thought is that you’re awful adorable. Awe so lithe and cute and— Much too … hm, much too adorable to be mine I would think how In the —a violent wind kicks up and flames burst out from your body enveloping your form as you take a few steps forward.

Ah there it is.

“You wanna ask me my name— darling.” You smile wide at him.

“Of course,” his purr is laced with annoyance, but he’s far too intrigued. “Who might you be?”

“I’m y/n. No last name, my parents were assholes.” You shrug. “So, we doing this trial or we figuring the whole—“ you wave your hand between the gaping maw of land between you two, “bond thing.”

Aro pauses, a twitch on his lips, “after the proceedings cara mia.”

“Ooo… love me a man that speaks Italian—” You smirk, raising a brow and cock your head to the side.

Aro makes a stifled choked off growl as his eyes go black— thank God he lost the ability to blush as arousal slammed into him like a freight train.

You’re obviously annoyed, and have as Caius mutters ‘more balls than a Christmas tree’ and you are ready for this trial to be over.

Frankly so is Aro he wants to drag you back to Volterra and bring you to heel.

Not that he thinks that’s going to happen.

But he loves playing with fire. And you’re full of it.

He watches you glance at the Cullens and the half-breed. “Alright Nessie come on let’s show him what you can do kiddo.” You scoop the girl up and you and the Cullens walk over with Jake behind you.

-----

-----

When does he know of his feelings?

When within reaching distance you set Renessme down and pat her head, “okay tiny Loch Ness, say hello.”

Bella is panicking, but she trusts you it seems, she better, you have no qualms frying— sans mate— every vampire here. They do their little song and dance. Aro tries to talk about the danger and you feel your temper boil over.

“Darling.” You croon taking a step forward with a sharp but soft smile.

You remind him of a lioness, purring softly but ready to tear into him with one movement.

He raises a brow; you are in 6 inch heels putting you nose to nose with him. “Yes carissima?” He breathes deep and nearly groans out loud, you smell so good, like spring and a heady feminine scent like perfume edged in lilacs and lavender.

“Could you pretty pretty pretty please just keep an eye on little Nessie— I hate to tell you but she’s quite important to me and I can assure you she fits in with humans better than the Cullens do.”

“And if I don’t.”

You let flames dance in your gaze. “I’ll roast everyone here except your brothers and their mates and make you start the fuck over without me.”

Aro’s done.

Cupid has struck him in his dead heart.

He’s never been more terrified or aroused or enraged at once at your dulcet threat purred from such sweet lips.

He wants to grip you by your hair to him, pick you up and haul you to somewhere private and teach you a lesson.

He wants to fight you. And it’s quite clear you’re ready to rumble, though he’s not sure you’d let him win. Or that it wouldn’t end up tangling in a bed somewhere on fire. That’s fine too.

A manic grin spreads across his face, eyes going pitch black as he snatches you up by the waist and hauls you closer loving the startled look in your eyes settling into something dark and wanting. “And if I agree?”

The brothers roll their eyes.

Go figure you’d be as bat shit as he is.

“I’ll leave with you right now.” You give him THAT look matching his almost mad grin.

A low purr echos from him making Bella clap her hands over Nessie’s ears. “Una ragazza così meravigliosa, credo che mi piaccia come funziona la tua mente.” Such a wonderful girl, I think I like how your mind works.

But your plans to drag your mate off end as Alice shows up with her witness right when he’s about to whisk you off for some obvious adult time.

Both of you sigh put out and exasperated.

Yes you just about ended an entire potential threat with batting pretty eyes and coaxing the leader of the Volturi into some fun.

But now that’s ruined because of the psychic. Alice is looking rather embarrassed as the proceedings go. Given that she probably saw how everything was about to go down.

Aro can sense you’re as annoyed as he is, that and you’re not leaving his side. And you don’t mind touching him but you’re not because oh yeah he needs to focus. But oh he can see your hand twitching towards his own.

He can easily turn his gift off and so he does and grips your hand, quickly jerking you to his side.

Electricity lights along your skin at the contact and both of you jolt a moment and glance sideways looking amused.

This was going to be fun.

——

——

How’d you end up with the Volturi?

Alice and her witnesses ease their concerns about Nessie. Aro placates the Volturi as you linger back behind him a bit. Everyone just poof! Vanishes.

“So ah, can we get my stuff first before you whisk me off around the world?” You ask sweetly.

Aro’s a bit startled, “you wish to leave already?”

You realize he would be willing to stay for a bit and let you acclimate.

“Nah where you go I fucking go, come on baby. Let’s get the fuck outta dodge.” You give him a teasing shove as you walk by making Carlisle’s coven silently shake in mirth at his surprised expression.

Carlisle murmurs, “Good luck Aro.”

“Fuck off Carly.” The King growls back before following you.

That’s all they wrote.

You were in. And you made yourself at home quite easily.

Jane and Alec adore you— you saw them and just SQUEEd. “OMG they’re so DEADLY but so CUTE!”

Jane wasn’t quite sure what to do with you picking her UP and hugging her nuzzling your nose to her cheek, “she’s just a tiny tot of doom I adore it! We’re going to burn the SHIT outta people.”

Alec just sat starry eyed as you ruffled his hair, “I know boys don’t like being picked up.”

Jane had become a koala on you. And you didn’t mind.

Well. You’re Mama now. Aro couldn’t be more pleased as you continue to help develop their skills trying things outside of the box.

See, that’s also a sort of talent you have— you can help people learn how to use their gifts because of how you think. Not a gift per say, but certainly useful.

Jane it turns out can utilize the fire element.

Alec can utilize air.

With you knowing both you’re easily able to teach Alec how to hone his targets and even allow his gift to POP UP near someone rather than from his hands.

Jane is capable of setting shit on fire now.

Aro isn’t sure if he’s proud or worried.

Bit of both. But you are STERN with their use of powers. And when Jane set Felix’s foot on fire she was forced to shine everyone’s shoes in the Volturi in the afternoon and write 200,000 times at HUMAN PACE. “We do not light family on fire.”

She never did it again.

The inner coven loves you. Caius and you are besties Marcus is like a big brother always doting on you. Athenadora and Sulpricia are of course still together as companions, and don’t worry about his ex wife— they were on the rocks she’s ecstatic someone else can keep him in line.

The coven instantly takes to you, in fact you’re now basically Mother to everyone. Scolding, teaching, comforting, you do it all. But you’re also a leader and a ruthless one at that.

A perfect fit Aro thinks.

——

——

How’d he deal with his emotions?

You are driving Aro FUCKING CRAZY.

Literally mad.

You know how to push his buttons and you are not one to do as told. So for him, he who has anyone bending to his will to see you just cock a brow at him and laugh “awe.”

He wants to choke you half to death.

You are a Queen. He tells himself. It’s to be expected that you’d challenge him.

Sulpricia finds it HILARIOUS and you two are besties. Fuck that’s all he needs. She is ever so encouraging of your independence.

He often finds himself in Sulpricia’s study pacing rampantly, “what am I going to do with her?”

“You know you like it.” Sully says lounging back on her couch. “If you didn’t you wouldn’t be so utterly ass over tea kettle.”

Aro is not good with his emotions when it comes to jealousy. And he is JEALOUS.

You’re perfect to him, utterly beautiful, you are the sun and he Icarus stupidly flying as high as he can towards you in hopes to reach the light.

You’re also inclined to let him touch you whenever you want to express things without using words— and you’ve learned to let him speak to you telepathically as well.

So often you just sit with your pinkies touching on a couch and have back and forth silently except for the occasional twitch on your lips at a humorous comment.

You’ve managed to make him huff a laugh occasionally.

But he is utterly posessive. He does not like it when men stare too long, admiring is one thing, but nothing escapes Aro.

So when a lower guard had been in trouble for an infraction and when you had disciplined him the utter disrespect for a concubine replacement was across Aro’s mind and…welll—

Guard died.

You had just looked startled and gave a ‘oh well’ kinda shrug before touching ARo’s hand. Feel better baby?

Yes you called him baby in private, so modern, and he would NEVER admit he loved it. Baby, darling, love, honey, the list went on and each one twisted his insides into ribbons of absolute adoration.

You had actually taken to the bond so well Marcus had informed him that it was practically cemented.

His only hang up was himself.

——

——

Who does he ask for help?

Didyme is no longer there— his dear sister, a deep sorrow as he was accidentally responsible for her death.

Marcus however is always there to be the voice of reason, and he sits Aro down and listens to his brother spill his guts. Aro is terrified, he is well aware he is THE monster that makes OTHER monsters keep in line.

But for you to look at him like that? He could never bear it. His heart would break.

Marcus sighs, “Aro come here.” He drags his brother to the training grounds.

Where Aro get’s to see his mate literally tear apart the entire guard with blades…. Did his eyes deceive him— were those made from vampire ash and fangs?!

You pause your onslaught, “oh hi darling!” You prance over and smile, “like them? My witch-smith friend made them for me! Fucking bastards kept coming for me after awhile and ya know I just hate the idea of wasting shit.”

Marcus glanced at Aro and gave him a I told you so.

“Everything okay?” You ask looking concerned. You are dragging him along as he partially willingly let’s you take him to his sister’s gardens. “What’s wrong?”

And so, he exhales and does the one thing he’s never done with his gift.

He touches your hand and shows you his own thoughts.

He expects your recoil. Expects you to shun him. Expects your hatred and braces himself for it.

You gasp and when he’s about to drag his hand away and you grip him tighter. “No don’t…let me…” and so you watch— thousands of years of memories over the course of a week or two. Asking silent questions as the images play, getting silent answers in return.

And so, in return, you show him your human life— a life that had been riddled with abusers, torment and lack of love, the iron in your spine that had solidified your creation when you had dragged yourself from an open alley way at dawn into the sewer system after being left to die being drained by a nomad after a brutal assault. You shared with him that it had taken a lot for you to even move after what had happened.

Esme had found you.

And so your friends made sure you were okay even if you didn’t follow their diet.

You both spend time going over your pasts, Aro gently asking questions and you doing the same to answer as best you could.

It was why Rosalie and you got along so well, there were some experiences one could only understand by going through it. And you both had learned how to cope with the trauma you had.

Aro is patient, both of you taking time to feel through each others wounds, taking time to rework into each others personal space.

Marcus is stunned to tell Aro that the bond is nigh unbreakable after this exchange.

The Kings magically -coughs- big brother Marcus loses his shit finding out and Caius leads the search party with Demetri— cough cough— find the nomad and he’s now in a box limb free 15 feet below the dungeon with a tube connecting him to the surface, his tongue removed and he only gets blood once a year. *Jane lit them on fire multiple times to practice her accuracy and aim*

You find out of course, and smile through the dry sobs as all three embrace you like a big protective group hug. For the first time in a very long time, it’s safe.

Truly safe.

——

——

What happens when he tells you?

Aro is a man of few words, and honestly not much is needed between you two with the ability to go back and forth with his gift.

So in the middle of a walk in Didyme’s gardens he merely grabs your hand gently and kisses the top of your fingers.

And you’re flooded with his emotions.

The warmth and tenderness and absolute adoration is almost enough to restart your dead heart as venom pools in your eyes. “Aro…”

He loves you, loves you more than his own life, would give anything for you to make you smile.

This isn’t the love that is complacent, to just sit idle and rust away, he wants to chase you for eternity, whatever it takes to keep you at his side.

And you flood him right back— lowering the barriers you had and after a moment he merely leans down and presses his forehead to your own, giving the two of you time to just bask in the warmth of affection that’s swirling back and forth akin to the waves of the tide under the moon and sun at twilight.

——

——

First Kiss?

The leaders of Volterra were in the throne room, the Queens having their own thrones behind their husbands but visible carved in different woods to represent their personalities with different intricate features much like the brother’s thrones holding different crowning points but all the same color.

Your own is the same color as Aro’s throne, but mingled with mahogany accents. Ruby red stones slotted at the top with a crescent moon and sun carving emboldened with gold spiked halo.

Caius' mate's throne is a pale color, affixed with branches and beautiful earth like tones, complimenting her grounded nature.

Marcus’ Witch Mate is merely embellished in a ash throne, deep red almost black gems and the symbol for the overall witch and vampire alliance above her throne.

With all three positions of Queen in Volterra taken up by a true mate, it is the most stable the Volturi have been in several millennia.

But that day in particular was rough, there were a few traitors that had been brought forward— and one of them had managed to get loose from Felix as Aro had been gaining information lunging for the King’s throat.

You moved so fast no one even saw you as you streaked forward like a ghost and lobbed the vampire’s head off holding a blade made of vampire teeth expertly with an animalistic snarl.

You had positioned yourself in front of Aro, crouched, blade poised and your eyes wide and wild, teeth flashing with a dangerous snarl.

Marcus’ witch had already shielded Aro but paused when she saw how enraged you were. Athena and Sulpricia had faltered, Caius looked utterly proud.

You spun round, dropping your blade— knowing Felix and the others had everything in hand as Aro had reached for you, the two of you locked in an embrace, his hands holding your face still as your own hands grasped his wrists. Foreheads pressed together—

The coven was used to this, a private conversation but you could feel the utter terror that had gone through him when he saw you out of the corner of his eye. If anything had happened to you—he was almost angry at you.

But he could easily sense the rage that had consumed you at the thought of someone hurting him. Despite knowing the guard and Jane would Never allow it, your instincts had taken over.

No one would ever take from you again.

And you had been frightened.

Behind that rage when he got past it was utter fear that he’d be gone and you’d be all alone again all the tender memories would be the last you’d have of him as you gave a dry sob before the venom dropped from your eyes— a true show of vampiric emotion that was a rarity.

“Carissima, no. I’ll not leave you that easily.” He murmured and not giving a flying fuck about anyone in the room kissed you full on the mouth gathering you up in a tight embrace.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered half broken against his mouth. “I’m sorry-“

“I know I know, shhh cara mia shhh,” gathering you up he merely flitted out of the room leaving the others to deal with the issue.

Tons of snuggles. He had bundled you up to him in his private rooms and merely kept your hands together enjoying the shared emotions knowing the other was close and safe.

Aro knew exactly how to calm you, he merely showed you all his favorite memories, of the coven, of his travels, the antics his brother’s got up to. He replayed the moment he first saw you.

That always made you laugh of course she swears like a sailor.

——

——

First Time?

It’s in an elevator.

Okay so here’s the thing. The Volturi have these massive events, and your official coronation happens at one of these.

Aro is so proud.

And so fucking jealous as you are danced across the floor with other vampires— who are oh so respectful and as they should be as Aro watches from the upper floor like an angel of death.

You look stunning, your smile lighting up the entire ballroom, friends from near and far are there— even then Cullens— God bless Carly he even had animal blood brought for him.

You’re dancing around with Nessie laughing and watching the girl child giggle like a fiend before handing her off to the Shifter Aro hated the smell but it was what it was.

Over the course of the evening he was getting awful tired of sharing you. And as the evening wound down to an end you both were just going to take the elevator back up to the private rooms as the Ballroom was on the top floor of Volterra.

The energy crackled in the small space and you both glanced at one another. It was like a short fuse had been lit on a stick of dynamite.

We’re so not doing this in an elevator are we?

You didn’t realize you had said it out loud even as you both gravitated towards one another and his hands tangled into your hair sending gold pins flying to the ground as his mouth found yours and you let out a deep moan as his tongue swiped your lips before you happily opened them.

“We��re going to be patient. Cara mia. ” He said sternly more to himself than you— then groaned when your teeth tugged gently on his bottom lip knowing it drove him crazy. “Sarai la mia morte. Sulla mia tomba scriveranno 'ha giocato con il fuoco ed è perito felicemente’” his voice became heated as his hands moved over your form, “non mi importa più, vieni da me mia fiamma, brucia con me.” You will be my death. On my grave they will write 'he played with fire and perished happily'. I don't care anymore, come to me my flame, burn with me.

His hands were gripping your backside and hauling you up, pressing himself firmly between your thighs before grinding against you. But when his teeth scraped your neck your brain shorted out—

“Oh for gods sake Aro just fuck me already—” your hands were scrabbling at his waist coat and shirt pleased how easily the buttons pinged off the walls of the elevator.

Your mate let out a pleased noise, one that was utterly inhuman when your hands tangled into his raven locks and knocked the golden V pin to the floor allowing the ocean and pomegranate scent of his to curtain you from the world as he bent his head down and kissed you as if it were the last thing he would get to do just then. Right before he smacked his hand against the emergency stop button jolting the ride to the private floor still.

If you thought his kisses were something to be swooning over— because he always knew what you needed.

Well his gift extends to much and he is in tune with it.

Your mind is his favorite place to be, and he brutally uses what he knows to his advantage as his fingers skim up your legs flinging your skirt over your thighs to teasingly grind himself against you till you’re almost clawing at him half feral.

“My pretty little mate—“ he croons at you, “you looked so beautiful cara mia,” kissing down your throat before biting marks into your flesh licking them before continuing on as his teeth jerk the fabric of your bodice and sleeves off not even bothering with his hands. “E tu sei tutto mio, cazzo.” And you’re all fucking mine.

You were busy molding your hands against his form, loving how it was just ratcheting up his half mad with desire motions, twitchy, greedy, desperate to touch, “What was it you joked about that one time?” He was referring to a memory with your best friends over drinks.

You gulped and shivered a bit. “I believe I said sometimes a girl just wants to ahem— get slammed to a wall and fucked stupid?”

He smirked as his hands tore fabric off you letting his fingers to glide along your skin, allowing your own to do the same and showing you know exactly what he liked through the bond of touch.

If you’d been human the air would have left your lungs as he pressed his body tight to your own, pinning you in place letting you feel what you did to him, the hard length of his cock pressed into your belly. “What do you say we take care of that, hm?”

You’re speaking in tongues before he even takes you fully, and roughly, there’s no slow tender love making and frankly you’re just glad for it.

His wild smile sliding into a predatory proud smirk when you’re just a mess; whining at him, begging, pleading, twitching against him and oh you’re just so pretty when at his mercy.

He literally has the tongue of the devil.

“Did I finally break you little one?” He croons despite his rough movements sending you into another shockwave of bliss as your nails make claw marks in the wall.

Fuck he had— you’ll do anything if he’ll just continue.

Your submission is like a drug, he’s mad on it, hands digging against you, making small fissures of cracks along your hips that make you groan gleeful as you push closer for more of his touches.

“That’s right bambi, give me everything.”

That’s all you hear before he’s fucking you into the wall of the elevator, sinking his teeth into your shoulder and neck just to relish in the pain and pleasure filled noises that escape from you as you beg for more, more, just please give more it’s all you want.

“My good bambi.” He growls as he begins it all over again, rumbling in your ear as your try to escape the onslaught of sensations— but happy you can’t as his grip has you immovable. “You’re not escaping me just yet.”

You’re both a mess, not that either of you care. Adjusting yourselves as best you can—

You’re lucky his private rooms are close and he simply carries you and flits you both into his rooms; you both end up continuing what was started.

——

——

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

He is a touch telepath, he knows exactly what you need.

But he also surprises you with what you didn’t even know you needed.

Snuggles, so many snuggles— Aro is not a tactile person— but with you?

Forget it.

He’s practically melting into your form and trying to fuse himself to you.

Massages, nuzzling your hair, biting.

Lots of biting— but not hard bites, love bites. Pressing his teeth to your skin to leave little imprints that he just can’t get over. You always poke fun at him for it.

Plus let’s face it.

Bite = Love.

He and Caius are on one mind with that.

He also took a note from Marcus and you both enjoy the heat of the baths together after a particularly long rough romp.

Which turns into a bath romp.

Because ahem *REASONS*

“I’m King I don’t need a reason to have you— now come here.” He’ll huff imperiously when you giggle at him as he drags you close into his embrace kissing you.

Okay he lies.

You looked too pretty in the bath.

Aro can’t help himself. That’s the reason.

——

——

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He is SHOOK when you tell him your favorite thing about him is his hands. You never feel misunderstood.

Even in the rare fights you simply huff and reach out to him, wiggling your fingers with a pleading glance; or if he won’t take your hand you’ll walk over sit in his lap and headbutt your forehead to his like an angry cat.

But usually Aro will take your hand and you both have a deep understanding of where you’re both coming from.

After a few moments it’s settled.

You kiss his hands, he knows you love how he plays you like a finely tuned instrument when alone.

Love when he delves his fingers into your hair and cradles you close even if you’re in the throne room— he’s the fucking king he can do what he likes damn it.

But Aro is startled by this— everyone hates touching him even though he can control his gift, they seem to think that— aside from his brothers and sister in laws— that he just loves to dive into people’s minds for funsies.

No it’s awful. Plain awful. He can barely stand his own mind why would he want to traverse someone else’s?

But that brings us to what he likes about you— he LOVES your head space. When he’s stressed it’s his favorite place to be because you have a vivid imagination, as a writer as well you show him stories you’ve thought of and worlds you’ve created with vivid detail. He finds it quite amusing to use watch your thoughts too on a daily, you like it simply because he’s close.

But aside from that it’s you.

Just You.

Just ALL of you.

He can’t pick don’t make the man pick, he would just keep you near him for eternity which you seem to have no issues with.

———

———

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically…I am a disgusting person…)

He is quite a posessive person.

Two Words:

Breeding Kink

You’re his and his alone, so the idea of ah— claiming you that way just sends him off into the ether.

The fact that you both have a breeding kink and literally can’t have kids is a GREAT thing because you’ve literally sat there a absolute mess after round five and thought out loud as he tenderly cleans you up, “shit thank god we can’t reproduce because I am 100% sure that’d have knocked my ass up—” which has had him shaking in mirth having to pause to control himself after a few moments.

Beg him for it.

Make that whining needy noise in the back of your throat at him for him to finally give you what you need.

He’ll just lose it, pin you by the throat and well— you’ve broken a few beds this way.

He has no shame.

Just glances at the bed, hits speed dial to the furniture store and orders a new one.

His only other favorite thing with C as he soon found out from O (you’ll see) was he adores when you swallow down everything he gives you. That’s got him rumbling in Italian about what a good girl you are and how much you please him.

———

———

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He’s a MASSIVE Pleasure Dom. And when I say Dom.

HE GOT DOM ENERGY.

With very mild Sadistic tendencies. (Thanks a lot Caius ya pervy fucker)

However he is also a very sincere soft streak when you’re a very good pet.

He picked up pet play from his sadistic brother hearing him call his amore Bunny. One day down the rabbit hole that is Google and he was hooked.

But he calls you Bambi. It’s an Italian term for baby-girl.

It also works because you become like a damn deer in the headlights when he pulls the Dominant voice on you.

It thrums with a low purr and has the capability to just make your brain go wait what?

HE’S A FUCKING SWITCH.

You had been pissed as shit at him. “I don’t know whether I want to strangle you or fuck you to death!” You paused because you had literally throat pinned him to the wall, the stone crumbling beneath him, feeling the muscles of his neck working as he swallowed nervously.

You were about to let go but saw his eyes had gone totally black and expectant and startled but excited.

He was just as fucking confused as you both calculated in a matter of seconds what had happened.

You were first to catch on. “Oh?….OH...….oooooohhhhhhh ….. you….you son of a….” You sputtered as he got a sly grin, “you can’t just look at me like— you are so ill behaved!!”

He wasn’t far behind and raised a black brow at you looking mischievous, “…..and what are you going to do about it mia regina?”

Next thing he knew he was face planted on his office floor with your boot pressed on his cheek making him groan low. “Gonna make you regret mouthing off to me is what I’m going to do my Aro.”

Edge him. Don’t let him touch you all day till he begs. He loves when you exert your authority especially on him? Oh forget it.

Queen Slay.

Literally you are his Queen and you are the only one who get’s to fucking tell him what to do.

And you ruthlessly do so when he’s in the mood. All you hear is “mia regina?” He’ll croon at you, as your hand comes up and drags him to you by his tie.

“would you like to be of service to me Aro?”

Magic words. He’s done, let him have you and he will literally just focus on your pleasure.

Worship Kink.

You had dropped to your knees at his desk and laid your head in his lap and he almost lost his god damn mind. You purred at him, “il mio maestro”.

Aro .exe has stopped fucking working.

———

———

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Thanks to the tactile telepathy as well as the fact that he and his brothers have slept their way through history, Aro is a very mixed lover.

When I say greedy as a lover, he wants your pleasure for himself. And will literally drive you to it till you’re sobbing for mercy.

He has none.

But he does take pity on you when he knows you’re truly at your limit with touch.

You weren’t inexperienced but his own experience blew yours out of the damn water. Can literally have you on the edge in mere minuets. And is SMUG about it.

Fucking smug bastard just watching you with that smirk on his face and a ‘well?’ Kinda expression.

You have to beg if you want it.

You have to plead, you have to let him hear you or he’ll just keep going and I quote ‘hmmm I can’t hear you cara mia, you’re being so quiet you know that makes me want to fuck you harder, come now, let me hear you— don’t make me have to drag it from you baby girl. You know I love to hear your sweet sounds.”

Could probably kill you if you weren’t already dead with what he can do with his hands.

His tongue is even better.

When asked which you preferred you had just panted desperately after a hard orgasm, “any. All. Both. God just…holy fuck.”

He cracked up over that. “My poor baby I broke her.”

————

————

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Loves having you in his lap.

Prefers to see your face and eyes, seems to need it.

But occasionally he just loves gripping your neck from behind and feeling you gasp against his grip as he slams into you roughly.

Adores anything that has you clinging onto him for dear life.

Likes being in a position to mark you. Favorite thing ever.

You had once tested his patience (willfully hoping for this outcome) a bit too much and he had pinned you completely immobile to the desk of his office and fucked you within an inch of your immortal life gagging you with his black tie.

“you just have to test me don’t you mia regina?” He had growled in your ear leaning over you, his hand crunching the ornate wood to splinters as you keened and whined for him to keep going. “Such a ill behaved thing you are, should just keep you here like this for when I please hm?”

He was not joking, you were kept there quite happily under his desk sitting at his feet your head on his lap waiting and absolutely willing.

He could feel your hands grip his thighs, “quit that I know what you’re trying to do and it’s not going to work—“ his voice teetered off in a guttural growl as he looked down.

You were biting his shirt looking up at him already nudging yourself between his thighs your teeth digging into his trouser zipper and tugging down.

his hands were gripping your hair jerking you up to kiss him deep, a growl against your lips, “Fucking damn it— come here.”

When you can get him to swear which is rare— yeah…

He didn’t exactly sound angry.

But he sure fucked you like he was though.

“This is what you were after hm? You brat!” A harsh laugh as he pinned you down a bit harder, “fine then I should ensure you’re good….and….sated…shouldn’t I bambi?”

———

———

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Very sincere.

Teasing but only in a very sexual way.

Borders on humiliation but he respects you too much.

Very serious though when he focuses on you.

He’s focusing on all the sensations you’re sending him, letting you know what he’s feeling as well which just sets you into the damn ether.

———

———

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

It’s ARO.

The man is vain.

The man is neat.

Clean and pristine.

He’d give a regal huff of annoyance, “I am not a heathen darling.”

———

———

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Ohhh you wouldn’t know it but he’s such a god damn romantic.

He is. And he MAKES time for you. The schedules are changed so you have time together more often— something that was never done before.

Operas, romantic walks out in Volterra at night.

Sightseeing.

Your favorite was your trip to Germany in the winter with a big cozy cottage and a big fire and lots of bedding to ahem— destroy.

Aro has penguin brain.

He brings you small gifts that made him think of you— you have a bracelet that has special charms he had custom made for you, a lochness monster for when you met, a castle obviously for Volterra, a doe, different tiny items that speckled through your life, each one means something— you hardly ever take it off.

You have a collection of very sparkly stones in many jars that he found on his missions.

They are actually gemstones— insert eye roll— they set off pretty prisms through your shared rooms.

“Aren’t you going to make jewelry of them?” Aro asks.

“No darling they are perfect just as they are.” You smile.

Aro actually has the literal voice of a damn angel.

He sings to you in Italian, soft dulcet sweet tones and dances you around your rooms teasing you relentlessly.

Aro writes beautiful poetry. He will at least write one every few months when inspiration comes to him.

You have your own private box at the opera house. As well as being allowed to fund artists across the world, you’ve found incredible talent on broadway and other venues.

Flowers. Aro ensures care for a private greenhouse for you on the roof, each flower has a meaning, and they all bloom year round given the proper temperatures on the greenhouse. “Why would I send you flowers when they die so easily.” He asks kissing your cheek as you smile over the new blooms. “This is everlasting, much more fitting.” He muses.

All his poetry is in a beautiful book Caius got you for your birthday.

———

———

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Why would he do that when he has you?

He is a patient man.

He can wait.

And he has pristine control over himself.

He is too old for pre-pubescent raging hormone crap.

But he will legit melt for you if you do it for him. Prefers it slow, enjoying your touch and loves to watch as you take instruction.

You’re such a good girl for him.

————

———

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Aro is a kinky bastard.

MASSIVE Pleasure Dom.

Worship Kink.

Edging.

Controlling Orgasms *you don’t get to come till he gives permission*

Collaring *your Volturi necklace is LITERALLY on a collar*

Overstimulation. *his gift allows him to know when you’re pushed to hard and when you can take a bit more. When you’re craving that over stimulus, he’ll give it happily. Knowing he can turn you into a babbling speaking in tongues, drooling, eyes rolling back mess just— just— GAH.*

Breeding Kink *Aro has a true breeding kink, ask him to fill you up beg him for it and he’s going to lose his mind.*

Gagging. *he loves to gag you, but also loves being choked by you or you grabbing onto his tie.

Wax Play *you’re a fire elemental user, bringing candles into play is just oh it’s nice. * Prefers to have it done TO him. Your air element gift also allows you to cool the wax quickly and give new sensations.

————

———

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Aro is private, he prefers somewhere comfortable to take his sweet time with you.

Rooms Private, hotel, somewhere he can just lavish you and enjoy everything you can give him.

He’d rather take the time to find a nice comfy setting.

But every blue moon— he’ll just look at you in that specific dress molding to your thighs.

He will drag you into an alley way and just rail the shit out of you keeping you quiet with a firm grip over your mouth as he hisses the dirtiest things in your ear.

You two once had a quick rendezvous in a changing room at a theatre. -shrug- it was empty oh well.

———

———

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

“Master?” You bat your eyes at him

His nostrils flare as he breathes in and just knows exactly what you want and you smell so fucking good.

The tone you use.

He knows. You want him. That’s it.

Unless it’s a trial— and DO NOT DO THIS BEFORE TRIAL.

And if you happen to when he takes your hand send him your fantasies after seeing him standing there all regal and watching his mouth form syllables so well and how much better it’ll be with his mouth— ahem— busy somewhere else.

He will be so mad at you.

He’s glaring at you behind a mask of calm and you can feel the fucking tremor in his limbs.

You just bat your eyes innocently at him and smile.

His face: you’re in SO MUCH trouble.

Brat energy??? During Trial?!??! Now is that the time to give brat energy!!???

Oh. Oh. oh you are so in trouble. When he gets done with ripping some poor idiots head off— okay not really they broke the rules— stalks over to you; grabs you by your oh so pretty collar, “come with me bambi.”

And just pulls you along to your rooms with you giggling the whole way and practically prancing behind him like a— well like a doe prancing into a lions den.

He’s tossed you over his shoulder once and just flitted out of the rooms into your private chambers, hurling you onto the bed before ripping into your clothing. “You best be ready for your punishment.”

“Oooohhhhhh absolutly master.”

“that’s my girl.”

The coven just rolls their eyes. Aro is less manic with you there and you surprisingly bring ease to the coven— so ya know what if that’s what does it whatever.

————

————

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Humiliation. No.

Impact play is one thing, but to intentionally hurt you no.

If he does impact play one hand is always touching you to ensure you’re okay.

————

———

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Giving? The man has a wicked tongue.

His oral game is LEGIT.

Will have you in a puddle of twitching ecstasy in mere moments of teasing because he knows where to touch and that’s not just his tongue but his hands.

Will kiss you all over before even getting to the ahem— final destination.

You’re either ready to combust or ready to strangle him when he finally just begins to devour you.

Eats pussy like a man starved but has all the time to enjoy.

Smug as Fuck.

Expect him to just watch you as you’re coming back down from the absolute height he threw you up to and glaring down at his smug grin as he waits before beginning all over again.

Will go all night if you’ve been ill behaved.

Your record is 20 before you BEGGED for a break.

He finally took pity and gave you a warm bubble bath and snuggles and praises.

It wasn’t that he didn’t like receiving, however it was more just a “hm, that’s nice—“

But with you.

Especially when you had decided to walk into his office, lay your head in his lap as you had sat yourself under his desk so he could work while he played with your hair (you have a comfy cushion there who was he to argue if that was the best way to be close and he could get work done??!!)

But his work was abruptly halted when you had nuzzled his cock through his trousers dragging your mouth wide as he became painfully hard in record time.

“what is it you think you’re doing bambi?” He purred looking oh so curious.

“Nothing.” You muffled around him as your teeth found his zipper and trouser buttons with a rather feral sound.

Upon finding out you had no gag reflex and having your nose buried in his pelvis as you moaned around him he was done for and he didn’t even care.

Work was forgotten.

Loves when you pleasure him, but of course has to be in control for the most part.

Buries his hands into your hair and loves throat fucking you, praising you the entire time. “What a good thing you don’t need to breathe dolcezza.”

You had hummed around him ecstatically.

The reward for this is always drool worthy.

Play with yourself as you do and let him see you do so keeping your clothing out of the way and you’ll have him break finally, that cool haughty composure cracking as his gaze goes just utterly uncontrollably wild, his hips moving a bit harder.

————

———

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

You both fuck rough.

But you both also love the slow and sensual moments too.

Especially if you have the time to just drown in one another.

It just depends on the situation.

Rough And Fast:

Slow and Sensual is how it usually starts off, he’s so attentive, so soft and cherishes you, that is till you growl at him for more and he has of course no other option but to give you what he wants.

You’re his queen after all what kind of mate would he be if he didn’t give in?

But has today been exceedingly trying for either of you?

Or is your mate quite amped up from a particularly rough trial?

You’ve been pestering him haven’t you? Hmmm.. yeah buckle up.

You’re in trouble and therefore need to relearn where your place is— it’s in your bed, beneath him losing your mind out of pleasure.

And he is all too happy to provide that lesson if you seem to forget.

You try to forget often. You damn brat.

Slow and Sensual

However sometimes he just wants to be gentle. And frankly so do you, you want to just bask in the bond you have and slowly explore all over again despite knowing you have memorized one another to heart by now.

Doesn’t matter, you still find things that surprise you, things that make you smile.

Places that when touched cause a jolt— well that’s new.

“I could spend my entire life mapping out your body carissima.”

“that’s an awful long time in bed.”

Aro would just smirk kissing down your sternum, “oh what a pity— I suppose my brothers shall have to cover for me hm?” Bite marks being pressed into your flesh, “I plan on leaving so many of these that I forget where they are so I can find them later.”

“Such an evil overlord.” But you’re giddy, he’s going to make your entire world tilt again with those slow careful hands of his and you’re going to enjoy every second of it.

———

———

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

You’d be surprised that such a patient man could be so damn impatient for you.

He’s not as impatient as Caius but not AS patient as Marcus.

So it’s a toss up when he’s twitchy during trials and catches a glimpse of you floating down the hallway in all your grandure and he mentally tosses a coin.

Nope he can’t take it that flash of leg just set him off.

“Excuse me I do belive I remembered something that needs my attention.”

The others just inwardly roll their eyes.

Next thing you know you’re gagged by his tie in his office pinned over the desk with his teeth buried in your neck and frankly you expected this you wore that damn skirt with the slit in it to tease him.

Seeing this just makes him let out a feral noise and a laugh at the end, “oh you planned that hm?” He nibbles the outer shell of your ear, “missed me did you?”

You can only nod as he continues, eyes rolling back as he knows exactly what you’re needing and it’s certainly not gentle right now.

“I have exactly fifteen minutes before my brothers come looking for me— think you can be a good girl and make me come?”

You smirk against the gag in your mouth before purring at him; and it’s off to the races.

He’s in trouble quite often for this— but who’s to argue with him.

He’s king he can do what he wants…. At times….

Okay most of the time.

Plus he’s always in a MUCH better mood.

I wonder Why.

————

———

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

While Aro does love to experiment your safety is his utmost importance.

But he’s a curious bastard and you are right behind him on that scale so sometimes your games become a bit risky.

Never life threatening but oh boy do you two get a grin and just glance at one another, “you know we haven’t done that yet.”

“No…. No we haven’t….”

And that’s how it usually starts.

The worst thing you two can realize is you both utter “I don’t know”.

Well now you have to know if either of you are able to ahem— arrive— under rather dire circumstances such as utilizing your gift (don’t worry your gift doesn’t hurt him he knows how to use fire too surprise surprise.).

You almost had a heart attack though and nearly killed him after.

He just cackled that manic laugh that had you joining in after hitting him several times.

———

———

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Need I say more than one word?

Vampire.

Aro takes his time most occasions, his slow, slow sweet time.

Now— you’d THINK that the rougher encounters would last a shorter period.

You’re wrong.

So wrong.

He lives for it you’re going to be so happy you’re a vampire and can’t really get sore except for when you both leave cracking handprints on one another.

————

———

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Sensory.

Crops, leather gloves, feathers, ben wa balls are huge and he likes that they are silent but give you that teasing sensation. Wax candle play is huge for both of you and you enjoy long luxurious heated baths and sauna sessions with one another.

Ooooo he loves it.

Leather gloves area huge thing for him but not for what you’d think— he likes to challenge himself.

Sure he can know what you’re feeling but he wants to be in tune with your physical responses as well and so occasionally he dons them just to test his knowledge.

Damn smug overlord is just as good and you hate it and now he’s smirking at you while popping his jaw with his hand on his elbow waiting for you to come back into your body.

“Shut up.” You rasp as your head spins.

“I didn’t say anything.” His raven hair slides across his face as he grins wider.

“Your SMUGNESS IS LOUD ARO.”

“Me?! Smug! Why I never…” -cue the dark chuckle before he starts it up all over again, “maybe once more to ensure you remember it’s not just the gifts edge hm?”

“Ohhhh I’m going to die.” But you reach for him biting his leather clad hands.

“No you won’t.” He hums happily, “I won’t let you. You’re not allowed to leave me bambi.”

————

————

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

HE IS SO DAMN UNFAIR.

But so are you.

He’s not as bad as Caius but he is close, and he only does it with LOOKS.

His eyes are utterly expressive, as is that mouth of his, so when he glances at you in just the right way you can feel it drop down in your gut and sizzle.

And he does it during trial. Oh but when you do it you’re in trouble. Psh.

He’ll tease you and brush your hand as he walks by just to know that you’re basically twitching from frustration at the end of the day and about to boil over as he leans down and licks your neck. “Bambi, awe, was I too mean to you? Hmm I should make it up to you shouldn’t I?”

He always makes it up to you.

The man has the best ways to use his mouth aside from running the coven and giving orders.

————

———

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Aro was quite clear studies, and private rooms were to be soundproofed.

He’s loud, swearing (which he normally does not do), praising mess of a man, it’s needed.

And you love it.

You can practically feel the vibration in his chest when he purrs at you, less growling, he’s not as violent unless you get him too worked up.

No no no, he loves making you melt, and knows exactly what to croon at you to make your mind go blank.

———

———

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

He’s more posessive than Marcus. And that bleeds into a protective nature.

A bit controlling, but he knows very well he can’t do that to you as he had to Sulprica. BUT it doesn’t stop him from trying as gods forbid anything happen to you.

Less Jealous than Caius.

But his ah— mood swings can cause for quite an interesting feat.

Since Marcus and Caius were always the brunt of the bashing and warfare, and he the brains behind the operation, many seem to think he has no bite marks on his body due to not being in the fray.

No.

The problem is Aro becomes too violent. Especially because of his talent when touching his victims it tends to become a frenzy. Once he had decimated an entire coven single handedly because the rage they had was swamping him.

His brothers had to pin him down and try to relay calm emotions— his sister Didyme thankfully had been the one to bring him back.

You yourself are now that calm place.

At one point, a guard had been careless enough to have thought about you in ah— that way— Aro was aware you were quite beautiful, your personality no nonsense and many of the guard and lower guard considered you a maternal figure almost otherwise a very good friend.

But this guard.

Ohhh he coveted. What was not his.

But what was worse, was that on the way to the throne room he had spoken to you rather crassly, you merely ignored him; he wasn’t even worth your time. But he had glanced you over as if you were a rather tasty morsel, the imaginings of you spread out beneath him had Aro’s hands cracking his wrists.

You saw the change slightly as you were behind him. His spine went poker straight. “You dare.” It was worse, the guard had actually tried to think of how to lure you away to him— you were a queen so surely infidelity was expected—

The rumble in his chest was a whole new sound you’d never even heard.

Both Marcus and Caius were sitting straight up and narrowing their gaze at Aro before Marcus flitted over and guided you to Aro’s throne placing you on it and standing protectively in front of you.

“Marcus?” you peered behind the eldest king and he hushed you gently.

The guard was torn apart in mere seconds.

It was utterly ruthless and with no mercy.

“People tend to forget Aro is only about a thousand years younger than I.” Marcus muttered.

You blinked. Aro was at least five thousand meaning that Marcus was Six, Caius being the youngest at three.

Aro speared the entire guard with a terrifyingly cold glare before flitting over to you, gripping your head back by your hair and sinking his teeth into your shoulder and neck with a low growl.

The sentiment was well understood as the entire guard backed the fuck away from the dais— he closed the wound before his head shot up and he snarled at the coven tucking you into his embrace your face buried into his robes. “She is mine.” It was a quiet, soft voice that spoke.

“Aro.” you muffled tugging his sleeve and looking up at him.

He showed you “what he had seen and tilted his head. Would you mind cara?”

You lit the bastard on fire with a scowl aimed at the body winding your arms about Aro’s waist and nuzzling into his solid form.

A soft kiss in your hair, his body relaxing. “That’s my bambi.”

———

———

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Aro although he is lithe and tall….he’s not exactly easy to handle.

9” decent width, knows how to use it.

Be forewarned, he knows what he’s doing.

Tactile Telepathy, good luck remember to keep your head on straight.

————

———

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

It’s less of a wistful like of yearning.

And more a burning bonfire of desire always in the wing of his mind ready to take over the forefront.

One glance at you and he wants you— granted he thinks it might cool down over the centuries but when you look at him like that and bite your lip and grin.

Nah.

Nope. This isn’t going away. Not at all.

He of course has excellent control so he is able to push other desires to the back of his mind, but once finished you are certainly at the front of the line.

Super high.

You both are insane.

You can be sitting reading and next moment with one small brush you’re gone from the library and you’ve tackled him through the doors of your rooms and pinned him to the floor.

Insatiable.

Good luck!

————

———

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Aro LOVES resting with you.

He likes to just lay with his hands on your body and watching your thoughts, you’re his favorite mind to go through and he just adores it.

You both can spend hours like this if you were allowed—

He likes when you drag your fingers through his hair.

Makes him melt.

Kiss across his eyes and kiss his hands as he brushes your mouth with his fingers trying to learn you all over again.

“I don’t think I’ll ever get enough.” He murmurs to you lazily. He has you nestled in his arms your head tucked under his jaw.

“That’s fucking fine by me.” You giggle.

He rolls his eyes and huffs a soft laugh kissing the top of your head. “Of course she swears like a sailor…”

[prettypinkpuddles]

Sally Face X Black Reader

♡︎𝙰/𝙽: 𝚒 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚐𝚊𝚖𝚎𝚜 𝚠𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚗 𝚘𝚕𝚍 𝙼𝚊𝚛𝚔𝚒𝚙𝚕𝚒𝚎𝚛 𝚟𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚘 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚖𝚎 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚐𝚊𝚖𝚎𝚜 𝚊𝚜 𝚂𝚊𝚕 𝚍𝚘𝚎𝚜 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚑𝚊𝚒𝚛 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜

♡︎𝙲𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚜: 𝙻𝚘𝚝𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚐𝚊𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚔 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚕𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕-𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎 𝚐𝚊𝚖𝚎𝚜 𝚒𝚗𝚌𝚕𝚞𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝙶𝚎𝚗𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚗 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙵𝙽𝚊𝙵, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚢𝚎𝚜 𝚒 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚂𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝙵𝚊𝚌𝚎 𝚒𝚜 𝚜𝚎𝚝 𝚒𝚗 𝟷𝟿𝟿𝟶’𝚜-𝟸𝟶𝟶𝟶’𝚜 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚒 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍𝚗𝚝 𝚋𝚎 𝚋𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚔 𝚘𝚏 𝚊𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚐𝚊𝚖𝚎 𝚘𝚔....

♡︎𝚃𝚠𝚒𝚐𝚐𝚎𝚛 𝚆𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐: 𝚂𝚌𝚊𝚛 𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚔, 𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘𝚘 𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚏𝚏𝚒𝚌, 𝚜𝚠𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐

♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎

“Hey! Close the door!” You squeaked and hid yourself from the burning brightness emitted from the opened door. A small shadow slid through the opening of the door and quickly shut it, the word ‘sorry!’ repeated over and over.

Your eyes quickly readjusted to the darkness and you saw Sal, holding his school bag and a gameboy.

“Hey, Mask Boy.” You wiggles your toes at him and he hummed. “Was school tolerable?”

He shrugged, opening his bag and pulling out an orange car and setting it on the floor. You smiled and reached down to it, rubbing your thumb behind its ear.

“Hi Gizmo!” You grinned at the plump cat and he purred and pushed himself into your touch. Sal chuckled and sat next to his cat and leaned onto your knee. He began rambling about how his day at school was, how boring classes were, Travis, and a new oddity in the school he discovered. You listened to him curiously, albeit getting a bit agitated about Travis and his infuriating antics.

“I’ll come to school with you tomorrow….” You mumbled. “I know I don’t go much anymore, just having you and Larry give me my homework and letting you turn it in, but I’ll go with you guys tomorrow.”

Sal nodded, holding his excitement behind his mask and simply saying ‘ok’.

“You’re smiling under that mask aren’t you?” You teased and he didn’t say anything, just a noise of embarrassment. You giggled and ruffled his hair, continuing with your game.

“Did you get a new character?” Sal asked.

You sighed, “Unfornately no. They just gave me a stupid 4star claymore.”

“Hey! Claymores are badass!” Sal defended with a happy tone.

“That’s why I’d be a bow or pole arm user. Light weapons.”

You scoffed playfully, “Like you could even lift one! I bet they weight like 60 pounds!”

“Nah, catalyst needs no weight at all. Just waving your arms around with attacks.”

“Is that why you main Mona?” Sal smiled, watching as you used Zhongli’s burst to destroy a bunch of fatui.

“Hey! Mona is gorgeous.”

Sal took hold of his cat, stroking his tail. “She’s also very mysterious.”

“Which makes her even better! It’s written in the stars!” You grinned and Sal rolled his eyes.

“Ninguang’s better.”

You began quickly mashing your buttons, trying to defeat the stupid abyss lector in time so you could pass. Sal began chuckling at your rising frustration and when you started shouting for Razor’s burst to recharge, he lost it, bursting into a fit of laughter. You got really close to the TV and began shaking the controller, unleashing a purple wolf made of electro at the hydro abyss mage.

“C’mon! Just dieee!” You groaned and kept slashing the oversized fluff ball until it disintegrated into red ash. The timer stopped and it showed you with two stars. You raised the controller in the air and smiled, falling back onto Sal and cheering for yourself.

“You really hate abyss mages, huh?” He smiled at you and you pouted, raising a middle finger to the screen.

“Fuck you, fuck ya daughter, fuck ya grandmother, fuck ya dead great grandmother. Fuck you, and all ya kids. And your ugly ass motherfucking black ass son!” You jeered at the teasing enemies, a great distain for them in your heart. Sal crawled to sit between your legs and watch you blow through the spiral abyss. He urged you to use your bursts at times and would cheer for you softly whenever you managed to gain three stars. He undid his pigtails and pulled his fingers through them, even using it’s length to try and distract you.

You played for hours, co-opting with Sal and Larry to fight bosses, help Larry with his trash character builds and unlock all the waypoints in his world.

☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾

You looked at the school’s name hanging above it’s entrance with annoying and a twinge of fear. You didn’t even realize how long you were there until a hand intertwined itself with your left one. You looked at Sal, a smile coming to your face and you walked inside. You waved to Maple and Chug, seeing them at Maple’s locker with a a notebook and a pencil. You didn’t bother to stop at your locker, deciding to carry your bag with you throughout the day.

“Hey Y/N!”

You looked to Ashley who was putting lipgloss on in her locker mirror. She turned to you and waved to you, walking up to you and Sal. You smiled at her and the three of you walked to your first classes.

When you sat down, you heard your teacher make a hum towards you. You looked up at him and he lifted his chin.

“I was wondering when you’d return, Y/N.” He croaked, his neck turning to look at the door. “I figured you’d drop out.”

A few giggles came out from the corners of the class. You felt an arm on your side, telling you to let it go but you tilted your head with a shit-eating grin, “And I thought you’d be fired, yet we’re both here so..”

Your teacher narrowed his eyes at you, which only made your grin grow with satisfaction. He began teaching, mostly boring stuff about biology. The only problem was it was so boring you felt like sleeping, until a buzz on your waist kept you awake. You pulled up your phone and read a text from Larry, asking you to bring the ‘stuff’ from your locker. You replied with an ‘ok’ and continued to pretend to pay attention. Your imagination began to wander, thinking of how big Bowser must be. At least 9 feet, but that’d make Mario an Italian midget…. And peach would be like 5’7.

Lunch was okay, but you didn’t eat the school’s lunch, not after the bologna incident. You watched as Sal came up to you from his geometry class and sat beside you. Larry and Ashley joined you. Larry gave you a look and you pulled up a grocery bag to the table. Larry smiled wide and untied it, pulling out a container of Chinese food. Ashley gasped and asked how he got it.

“Don’t worry I got us all food.” He reassured and pulled out a box of tacos for Ashley and a container of sushi for Sal.

“Sorry, I didn’t realize you were going to school today.” Larry said.

“You’re good. I’ll steal you guys’ food.” You giggled and immediately snatched a taco from Ash. She made a face and it made you snort. You immediately covered your mouth of embarrassment, your friends laughing at the noise.

“It’s ok, it’s cute Y/N. I promise.” Sal looked at you with warm eyes and you nodded shyly, biting into your stolen taco. Larry handed you a piece of drenched chicken bite and you took it, biting into it.

“Yknow, we should actually go out for lunch. It’d be more fun.” Ashley beamed.

“Yeah but I don’t wanna hear a teachers mouth about us leaving….” You rolled your eyes at the thought.

“What’re they gonna do? Tell us we can’t eat?” Larry laughed at his words and Sal shrugged.

“This isn’t too bad of an idea… putting stuff in one of your lockers.” He said and you nodded, wrapping your arm around him and pulling him to whisper in his ear.

“On your birthday, I’ll leave some applesauce and pizza for you in my locker. Your favorite brand and shop, ok?”

Sal nodded eagerly, his pigtail bouncing with happiness. The four of you looked around to see some kids leaving for next class and you decided to do the same.

“Hey, shithead!”

Sal sighed at the aggressive voice and turned to see Travis, an aggravated scowl on his face. You rolled your eyes at the dumb bully and started to pull Sal to your next class.

“What the hell do you want Travis?” He said, rather annoyed at these interactions with the boy.

“You think because your bitch is here you can act all hard in front of her?!” He shouted, which made you a little pissed. “Yeah, I’m talking to you, what?”

“Travis, you aren’t even worth my time.” You declared and turned away from him. A set of heavy footsteps came rushing towards you and Sal, a hand shoving you to the ground and a few thuds landed in your eardrums. You saw yourself on the tiles, and Sal on his knees holding his mask. You stood up and stomped toward Travis. He had a nonchalant look on his face, asking you what you were gonna do, that you wouldn’t dare hurt him. You whipped your hand across his cheek, pushing him back into the lockers. You stared daggers at him as you helped Sal stand and walked him to another hall. As Travis tried to get to Sal once more, you stepped toward him and pushed him back again, a look of rage on your face was enough to tell him to stop.

You looked at Sal once you were around the corner, trying to see if he was ok, but he hid his face. His mask was clutched to his chest and his fingers did their best to cover his scarred skin. You peeled them off, telling him to let you look and he closed his eyes in fear that you’d be disgusted. You rubbed his jaw, blood forming on his bottom lip and a gross slit on it. You wiped it gently, fear of opening the gash or hurting your precious Sal. You eyed the bruised lip, decided to lean forward and give the blue haired boy a soft kiss. He looked at you with wide eyes as you smiled sweetly at him.

You put his mask back on mad began to go to your next class but he stopped you.

“Why’d you…. Why’d you do that?”

You patted his head. “That’s what couples do. We’re no different, Sal. C’mon.”

He nodded and the two of you quickly rushed to class.

☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾

You heard the door of your room open and turned to see Sal and Larry walk in. You nodded to them and they waved to you.

“Did you bring my food?” You asked and Larry put a bag of sweets on your dresser. You thanked him and Sal sat beside you as you clicked away at your mouse and keyboard. He watched as you looked at the cameras, flipped your bear mask on and winded up the music box.

“Hey… heyyyy, get back.” You ordered as you flashed the red fox. Then your fingers fumbled to pull the mask over your head and a broken down animatronic appeared in your office. You gasped held your breath, throwing the protective mask on, but to no avail. You died.

You groaned in frustration and reached for the box of sweetness, grabbing a soft cookie and biting into it.

“Why do you okay that game? It’s so scary..”

Larry mumbled. You smiled at his comment, saying the game wasn’t scary and that Larry was just a baby. He tried to defend himself, saying that the game was scary but when you started up the game and he saw the shiny new chicken move to another room, he shrieked.

You laughed as he proved your point and kept playing your game, trying to beat the night and advance. You listened to Sal and Larry go on about their school day and you laughed as you kept your focus on your game.

“Did Travis do anything today?” You asked and Sal shook his head. Larry gave you a look as you reached for another cookie, asking if something happened when you went to school. You shook your head and explained what happened with you and Sal.

“That little…..!” Larry fumbled his words from anger and you waved it off, telling him to calm down and to drop it.

“That blond turd won’t do anything. And if he does, I’ll kick his ass.” You declared. Sal smiled at your words, thanking you for your help earlier. You turned and smiled at him, “I’m your partner in crime. It’s part of my job description.” You turned back but saw a bright blue bunny with rosy cheeks jump for you, killing you. You groaned in frustration, hearing one of Larry’s screams of terror. Sal chuckled and apologized for distracting you.

“Alright you dumb animals…. Let’s see what you got.”

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 305: Worst Intervention Ever

Previously on BnHA: Shinomori, whose name took me an entire week to memorize, was all, “nice to meet you Deku, I’m ten feet tall, do you want to know how I died?” and without waiting for an answer explained that he kicked it from old age at forty thanks to good ol’ OFA. Deku was all “wait a minute, then how come All Might, who’s fifty-five and is definitely dyeing his gray hair, is still alive?” First and Shino were all, “we really have no fucking clue but we think it’s cuz he’s quirkless, JUST LIKE YOU!” So basically, since quirkless people don’t exactly grow on trees these days, Deku is probably going to be the last user of OFA. The chapter ended with Nana being all, “psst, Deku, about my grandson. Uh, can you kill him?” which is sure to lead to a very interesting conversation this week.

Today on BnHA: Nana And The Gang are all “so, Deku, how can we put this delicately. The thing is, we’re pretty sure that AFO really fucked my grandson up, so on the off chance you can’t save him, how would you feel about, you know... [throat slitting gesture].” Deku is all “idk you guys, I kinda feel like he’s really just a traumatized child at heart and he’s in a lot of pain and stuff and so I should try to help him.” The Vestiges are all “BUT WHAT IF YOU CAN’T” and Deku is all “BUT I WANT TO TRY, DAMMIT” and the Vestiges are all “well when you put it that way, we, uh, were just testing you, so congrats, you passed!” The chapter ends with First being all, “ANYWAY SO WHY DON’T YOU TWO SHY BOYS STANDING OVER THERE IN THE SHADOWS COME SAY HELLO” before we CUT AWAY FOR ANOTHER WEEK, goddammit.

seriously, Nana

just... have you met Deku?? look, if you really want Tomura dead, just sic him on the U.A. first years and tell Shouto and Honenuki that it’s a training exercise

oh my god lmao

we’re too far away to see Nana’s face here so I will just assume that she turned and is staring DIRECTLY INTO THE CAMERA for this one line lmao. “I just wanted to clarify in case anyone felt inclined to take my dialogue out of context and spend an entire week complaining about it”

oh my god?! are you all purposely trying to make me sad??

someone stop me before I launch into an impromptu rant about all my Tomura feels. WHY IS NOBODY STOPPING ME. oh my god but yes, exactly. he’s just in pain all the time. this is exactly why I think Tomura has such high redemption potential even though so far he seems to lack so many of the redemption arc essentials such as feeling remorse, wanting to change, and taking responsibility for his actions. the reason why I’m willing to overlook all that in his case is because Tomura has essentially had zero agency his entire life. AFO molded him into a killer by making sure he was in constant mental agony, and making it so that the only thing that even slightly relieved that agony was killing peeps. like, please don’t think I’m making excuses for him or anything, but if you take a child and manipulate their existence to make it virtually impossible for that child to grow up as anything other than a killer, and basically never give him the chance to be anything else, then no shit he’s gonna be a killer?? he’s basically never had the choice not to be. it’s never been an option for him. anyways I feel like I am EXPLAINING MYSELF SO BADLY but nonetheless I am prepared to die on this hill

anyway so now Nana is all “that’s a rhetorical question btw because Our Hearts And Minds Are One so we can feel everything you feel bro.” so yeah, that’s interesting

now Banjou is getting started on the “let’s try and talk Deku out of wanting to save Tomura because it’s insane” part of their OFA Mystical Space Void Reunion agenda

look, Banjou, I feel you, I really do. you guys don’t think it’s realistic that Deku can defeat Tomura without killing him. so if it’s a choice between killing Tomura vs letting Deku and everyone else in the entire world die, then duh, you think Deku should kill him. I get it! and if this were a real life mass murderer I’d totally agree with you. but the problem is that this isn’t real life, this is a sympathetic shounen villain with a tragic past who might as well have FUTURE REDEMPTION ARC RECEIPIENT stamped on his forehead at this point

so First is all “look, there’s absolutely no doubt my brother has fucked this kid up good and proper by now”, which, again, fair

though, that’s kind of exactly my point though. everything that Tomura is, everything he’s done, he’s done because of AFO. AFO has so effectively shaped his personality and his worldview by this point that it’s all but impossible to penetrate that. he’s AFO’s puppet. but the problem is that rather than treating him like a victim, you all are treating him like a casualty. like he’s already a lost cause. but good luck trying to convince Deku of that

WHOA WHAT, RANDOM SUPER-IMPORTANT AND BIZARRELY UNRELATED EXPOSITION DROPPED IN JUST LIKE THAT??

way to still not reveal Sixth’s name, btw. THE PEOPLE WANT TO KNOW, DAMMIT. but also so this confirms something we basically already knew already, which is that not even AFO can steal OFA. it literally can’t be taken away by anyone unless the owner wills it. SO SUCK ON THAT AFO YOU EGG

(ETA: so I have no idea why this was omitted from this translation, but apparently the Sixth’s name was revealed as “En”, which is obviously not his full name but at least it’s something. also he most likely has a fire or smoke-related quirk based on the kanji used, 煙.)

so Banjou is saying that Deku’s “lack of an iron will” could be a disadvantage against AFO. hahaha what?? Midoriya “I’ll break all of my bones without blinking an eye just to protect someone” Izuku lacks an iron will? do tell

he says this is going to be a test of Deku’s determination. well yeah, no shit. but just not in the way you guys think

OH HELLO AGAIN

darker hair again here! but I don’t trust the contrast in these scans at all after last week. his coveralls are way darker than they looked before too, and you can clearly see he’s standing in the shadows now

(ETA: yep, once again the raw shows that his hair is considerably lighter than what’s shown in these scans here. although there’s no mistaking now that his hair is consistently being colored in this slightly darker shade, and it’s not just the lighting.)

anyways lol First was saying something about how AFO can’t steal OFA, and they’ve spent all this time cultivating it as the ultimate weapon against AFO, and blah blah blah. go on then, keep lecturing

NANA GODDAMMIT NONE OF THIS IS YOUR FAULT

girl what?? you did everything in your power to protect your family, and AFO, fucked up man that he is, targeted them anyway. there is one person and one person only to blame for what’s happened to Tomura, and that potato-faced asshole needs a good kick in the balls

NANA GODDAMMIT DON’T MAKE ME COME OVER THERE

SO HELP ME GOD!! I WILL GIVE YOU THE BIGGEST HUG YOU’VE EVER HAD!! THAT IS A THREAT

so now Nana is all “I’m just going to call my grandson a Thing to ensure that fandom has only the freshest, grass-fed no-hormones-added discourse this week”

I don’t even need to drop into the tags to know exactly which specific people are going to respond to this, and what kind of posts they are going to write lmao. everyone’s all caught up in the “that thing”, and meanwhile I’m over here completely hung up on this “nay” that’s appeared out of NOWHERE you guys. look at that. she really said “NAY”

Nana, my love, my dearest, I feel you girl I really do. but he’s not an unforgivable manifestation of pure evil, Deku is exactly right actually, he’s a boy in pain. you guys need to stop questioning Deku’s shounen protagonist instincts here and just let him work his sparkly magic. “let’s try and convince Midoriya Fucking Izuku that he can’t save someone” is a plan that is NEVER going to turn out well you guys

“DEKU GODDAMMIT WHAT IF WE CAN’T SAVE HIM” lmao it’s like an intervention

“DAMMIT DEKU JUST ADMIT YOU HAVE A SAVING PEOPLE PROBLEM!”

RED ALERT IT’S ANOTHER CLOSE-UP OF THE BACK OF MISTER TWO BON CLAY’S HEAD OMG

(ETA: I was too distracted with freaking out about Two and Three to really appreciate how ridiculously handsome First looks in this panel. but on my second readthrough it stood out so much that I had to go back and add an extra bullet point just to talk about how hot he is. look at him. wtf.)

THAT IS DEFINITELY AN UNDERCUT. THE PLOT THICKENSSSS. also those are fucking exhaust vents on Mister Three’s neck. MISTER THREE COULD YOU POSSIBLY BE RELATED TO THE IIDAS, PLEASE TELL ME YOUR SECRETS I’M DYING OVER HERE

so now Deku is launching into what will undoubtedly be a “saving people problems require SAVING PEOPLE SOLUTIONS” heroic counter-speech!

I mean, they can already feel the “lol nah I’m gonna try and save him” feelings running through him lol. ~OuR hEaRtS aNd MiNdS aRe CoNnEcTeD~ and all that. this is just a formality, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love a good shounen protag speech

oh wait hold up, do you mean to tell me that the whole “hearts and minds are connected” thing I was just mocking just a paragraph ago actually allowed Deku to feel what Tomura was feeling?? like literally feel it??

YET AGAIN these Tomura feels are pounding on my front door you guys?? they just will not quit?? people my house is already full of feels, does it look like I need you to sell me any more of them?? -- what do you mean, they’re free??

AW YISS THAT’S IT DEKU. THAT’S SOME GOOD SPEECH RIGHT THERE

I appreciate the contrast here between the Douchebag Triumvirate of Overhaul, Muscular, and Stain versus the Misguided Twosome of Gentle and La Brava. never let it be said that Deku doesn’t know the difference between a redeemable villain and an unredeemable one

OH NO -- OH MY GOD

someone please help me I need directions to the OFA Spooky Galactic Nebula Realm in this fictional Japanese manga land. it’s not on google maps. I need to give these two babies a big hug and wrap them up in a blanket and treat them to some McDonalds Happy Meals please help

other things: (1) ENDEAVOR CHILLING OUT IN DEKU’S “PEOPLE I HOLD DEAR” PANEL LMAO NEON DISCOURSE EXTRAVAGANZA, (2) “ONE FOR ALL IS A POWER TO SAVE, NOT TO KILL” I’M ABOUT TO CRY DEKU I LOVE YOU SO MUCH HOW IS IT EVEN POSSIBLE TO FEEL ALL THIS LOVE, (3) [SLAMS HANDS ON TABLE] THERE’S YOUR MOTHERFUCKING IRON WILL!!!!!!!! -- I’m sorry, please don’t call security, I’ll be good

I just randomly remembered that Deku is still saying all of this in his muffled “FMMPHHMMPHMM” voice and I’m somehow cracking up lol. so actually it’s a very good thing Their Hearts And Minds Are Connected, otherwise they’d no doubt be all, “...what?”

(ETA: so I completely missed this on account of it literally not being visible in the scan at all, but in the raw you can clearly see Baby Kacchan and Baby Shouto fanboying over All Might in two of these panels, and excuse me, ma’am??

thank you very much Deku for including them in your montage, particularly since you’ve never seen Baby Shouto before lol. amazingly accurate image you managed to conjure up, all things considered.)

SDKFJLSKHG -- AS IF ON CUE???

HE’S SO ADORABLE HELP?? Trippy Space All Might looks like he’s about to cry, and First is all “don’t crack a smile... you have to be Firm and Serious here... dammit, don’t smile” omg

anyways! YOU GO DEKU. “MY QUIRK MY RULES, BITCHES” damn, son

KLJLKKHLG TRIPPY SPACE ALL MIGHT LITERALLY ACTUALLY IS CRYING ALL MIGHT HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME

“I JUST... [CLENCHES FIST] REALLY LOVE SAVING PEOPLE” FUCKING HELL LMAO THIS IS THE WORST INTERVENTION OF ALL TIME

Deku is literally all “sure, maybe I’ll have to kill him, but have you guys also considered, MAYBE NOT??” it’s no use Nana he’s too powerful

LMAO FIRST

“like I’ve been saying this whole time, you should definitely try saving Shigaraki Tomura.” “but, uh... First, didn’t you just -- ” “shut up”

(ETA: clearly it’s not just his brother who inherited those smooth-talking genes.)

so now Deku has turned back into a sixteen year old and his clothes have gone missing again. just OFA things

dskljdlsklgk

yes... sure... “testing” you...

HEY

FIRST OF ALL, DAMN YOU HORIKOSHI YOU MADE NANA CRY. even if I’m pretty sure they’re actually tears of happiness/relief. and SECOND OF ALL, “TELL MY BOYFRIEND I SAID HI” DJSKDLKJJL ANYWAY MAYBE GRAN, NANA, AND MR. SHIMURA WERE IN A THROUPLE

[SCREAMS]

WHY WOULD YOU END IT THERE?? WHY WOULD YOU END IT THERE!!!!!

(ETA: and two-to-one odds that we cut away to some other scene once they finally start to turn around next week. I’M CALLING IT NOW. giving myself a week to brace myself for the rage.)

fucking hell. well if anyone needs me I will be adding Horikoshi fucking Kouhei to the list of irredeemable villains, peace

[stephspurs]

A Family Affair | Euro 2020 Football Fanfiction

Life is beautiful and life is cruel. A window into the souls of the victorious and the vanquished. In a way, football did come home during the summer of 2021. Follow along Amelia’s journey, navigating the football world as a tactical analyst for the italian football team, with a brother and father part of the three lions. Will Amelia leave Italy and come back to England? Will she leave the Serie A for the Prem? Will she set aside the bianconeri stripes for new colours, leaving behind friendship for love? Maybe she can have both...

EEEEEEK here's part two!!! Part two sees more of Amelia's beautiful brain, the love she has for her team, and her brother, & her friendship with Kyle Walker. Hope you guys love it as much as i do - please let me know what you think - i'd love to hear from you all!

Love always,

Steph xx

UPDATE as of 31/07: I've made some additional editing changes due to some feedback about the confusion between ben white (her brother) and ben chilwell (not her brother LOL). Nothing has been added to the story, just the addition of either surname has been added where i think it could be more straightforward - for future readers!

Part 2. | seconda parte

warnings; none - just a whole lot of feels.

word count; 1469

writing tools; third person until dashed line, first person thereafter.

next update; Wednesday 28/07 5pm AEST. Updates are twice weekly (Sunday & Wednesday)!

Tags (as requested by users); @footballffbarbiex

link to fic masterlist here

11 July 2021 | The Final Match.

The players for both national teams lined up side by side down the tunnel. Chiellini & Kane, both confident in their teams ability, captaining with great authority and mentorship for the ten men stood behind them. Amelia stood at the back of the tunnel, watching the scene ahead of her. Her dad, walking up the centre aisle between the two teams, shaking the hands of his players, confident in his preparation. A gentle hand to her brother's shoulder, saying everything it needs to say. It was the same hand that rubbed the back of her neck as he walked past, communicating the same thing. Go your hardest, you’re ready for this.

It was her turn, she started at the back of the line, and in true Italian style, a kiss was placed to both cheeks of every player up the line. When she reached Jorginho, a player she came to appreciate for his technical mindset and intellectual approach to the game, she kissed his cheek and turned to the player opposite him - her brother, who was trying his hardest to face forward and pay his little sister no mind. She knew what he was doing, but she wasn’t as heartless as the rest of the England squad probably perceived her to be. Reaching out, she rubbed her hand along the back of his neck, just as her father did to her, leaned in and pressed a kiss to his cheek, before continuing down the line of her players to the front. Shaking hands with Gareth Southgate, who no doubt had come to realise who the girl was in relation to his team, and a kiss to both cheeks of Mr Mancini, she walked out and took her place on the bench, ready for the game of her life.

120 minutes of football later.

Life is both beautiful and cruel. Whilst she hadn’t anticipated the early goal from Shaw, Amelia had predicted every play by the english and made sure her team was there waiting for them to turn and run. They knew to never let Harry Kane have the space to move the ball, to make sure Mason Mount was marked at all times and to pay attention to the silky smooth skills of Raheem Sterling. They knew that every player on the english side had the talent and skill to shoot and score, no matter if they're a striker or full back. In the end, the endless taunts from the british crowd and constant reminder of “it’s coming home” only fuelled the Italians further and pushed them harder, to their limits. Eventually both sides met with equal force and completed extra time at a draw, leading to penalties. All of Amelia’s preparation with Gianluigi Donnarumma would present itself now. She went over the preferred sides of the penalty takers she presumed would be stepping up for their country, and reminded him of all he has achieved & what there is still left to be done. After all, they are the masters of their own fate.

Donnarumma’s block of Bukayo Saka’s penalty rattled her bones and sent a chill down her spine. They had done it. The boys had finally brought football back to Rome for the first time since 1968, and while she can’t take all of the credit, she knows she single handedly played a part in this victory. As soon as happiness filled her body, guilt and sadness flooded her heart. She had been part of the problem that caused her brother so much pain. Her dad knew how to handle rejection, this wasn't his first rodeo, and could see with an open mind just how they had managed to achieve greatness. But her brother had truly believed they had it, that football was coming home to England.

After being surrounded by her boys, cheering and hugging her, screaming in relief that they had done it, Amelia took a step back and took a deep breath in. Looking over to the players in white consoling each other with looks of understanding and pats on the back, hugging those with the unfortunate fate of missing their penalties, she found her brother.

_____________________________________________________________

Squatting down with his elbows resting on his knees and hands covering part of his face, his eyes showing disbelief that the moment had escaped them. Jordan Henderson, the figurative big brother to my big brother, leaning down whispering what one can only assume is words of encouragement and strength to him. A voice to my right startles me, not because I wasn't used to the noise, but because it was a voice I haven't heard directed at me with anything other than venom in a very long time.

“He wants you to be there for him, don’t ever think for a second that he doesn’t want you around.” Kyle Walker speaks into the open, whilst looking around at the fans still in the stadium. The fans behind us right now would be watching with speculation, wondering why the english player is talking to an italian so soon after defeat.

“I don’t think he doesn’t want me around, i just don’t think he wants me around right now” I spoke back, trying to reason with myself and Kyle as to why i haven't gone up and offered my condolences to my brother.

“I think the only thing that can pull him out of this is you. He was beating himself up last night after your argument, and while he turned it into motivation for today, it's still weighing on his conscience. He’s happy for you, we aren't that mean so as to deny him the pleasure of being proud of his little sister...even if she is working for the enemy”

“You’ve always been one to be the voice of reason, whilst still being the clown I grew up to know and love”

“Does this mean we’re friends again? I’m sorry about last night” Kyle admitted.

“Last night wasn’t what ended our friendship...we stopped being friends the day you left Spurs.” I joked back to Kyle. I turned to look at his over-expressed shocked face and walked backwards a few steps while giggling, before turning and sauntering over to my brother who was now surrounded by some more teammates. Upon seeing me and noticing my solemn expression, finding comfort in the fact that I wasn't there to rub my win in their faces, the boys left my brother to himself.

I stood there, staring into the eyes of my brother, who after a few minutes reached out and pulled me into him as though I was a life raft and he was stranded in the ocean. We stood there, hugging, saying everything we needed to say through the way we were gripping to the backs of each other's team colours.

“I am so proud of you, you put up one hell of a fight Ben. Certainly made my job harder” I spoke into his shirt. He was the taller of the two, but I wasn't that short. Almost immediately after, I felt him push more weight onto me and sink a bit lower so he was in my neck, shedding a few tears he didn't want seen by those around us. Not even 5 seconds later, he stood up straight, wiping his eyes and offering me a smile.

“God, I wish you weren’t better at your job than I am at mine” he joked back to me. I smiled up at him, shaking my head.

“I would say you’re wrong but the medal that's about to be around my neck would say otherwise” i joke back with him. I was not about to dull my sparkle for someone else's sun to shine, whether he is my brother or not.

“We have to talk about everything that went down last night but i’ll let you enjoy your night with your team” Ben says as we turn and begin to walk toward the stage being set up for the ceremony.

“Thanks Ben, family dinner on Sunday? Tell your friends to come, you and i both know mum will have enough food to feed everyone without even trying”

“Of course, I'll put it in the lads chat & see who’s still around. Kyle will see it in our family chat - who even put him in there anyway!?”

“Honestly...I think it was mum. You know she loves her son, Kyle.”

As I walk back to my team, and into the arms of Fede and Jorginho who wrap me up in an Italian flag and start jumping around, I can't help but smile and laugh at my amazing life. Who knows what the future has to hold, but for tonight, the azzurri are the champions of europe and the trophy is coming home, to Rome.

Part 3. | parte terza

[kaibutsushidousha]

Tribe Nine progress report #00 (part 1)

Translations from the official Tribe Nine website, supplemented with things that were said on stream.

Character names are in Japanese order because that's how they're officially romanized.

Also, I'll be posting this in multiple parts because I reached the image limit on this post.

World

In the country of Neotokyo, year 20XX, youth with no hope for society's future form Tribes to find a place to call home.

With time, the disputes between Tribes continued to grow more and more violent. The situation was very intense in the eyes of the Neotokyo government, so they enforced the XB Law, which limited the quarrels between Tribes to only Extreme Baseball.

Pitch, bat, and trade blows. The youths were crazy over this radical pride-staking game.

XB (Extreme Baseball)

A duel method similar to baseball, designed to settle conflicts between Tribes. As determined by the XB Law, the loser must obey the winner's order(s).

Runners and the fielder with the ball can initiate battles with each other for the right to reach a base. The slugfests between players equipped with body-enhancing gear are XB's greatest trademark.

Rules

The games must be played late at night when there are no longer any onlookers.

The games will use the entire City as its field.

Batters are only out by tag out or by strike out.

There is no home run. In case of an extra-base hit, the runner(s) can run through the bases until they initiate a battle against the fielder with the ball.

A fielder with the ball is allowed to initiate a battle against a runner, staking the runner's right to reach a base.

Players can equip XB Gear to enhance their physical abilities.

Anything can be used as XB Gear, as long as it's approved by the Judge Robot acting as the umpire for the game.

The win condition is either scoring more points than the opposing team or knocking out the opponents in battle.

The winner can give any order to the loser.

Characters

[This section will have some character profiles for a few Tribes, but before that, I'll have to go over some elements that were only explained in a previous interview and in the stream. The game will contain 23 Tribes, each themed after one of the 23 wards of Tokyo. The names of the Tribes here all match the names of the wards they represent. Their base concepts will be all about local stereotypes, of course, but in the stream, Kodaka compared them to One Piece pirate crews in terms of how much individuality the characters will get within the team.]

Minato Tribe

A Tribe famed as the strongest in Neotokyo. They value the bonds between teammates and genuinely enjoy XB.

[The Minato ward is the ward where the Tokyo Tower (also called Minato Tower) is. Due to holding the symbol of the city, Kodaka chose it to be the ward of the anime's protagonist Tribe.]

Kamiya Shun (Leader)

CV: Akira Ishida

Birthday: February 22nd

Height: 179 cm

Weight: 65 kg

Voice sample 1: Let's enjoy one more game.

Voice sample 2: I'll show you how to topple the Minato Tower.

"What could be more exciting than XB?"

The founder and leader of the Minato Tribe, as well as the main reason why they're considered the strongest. He is one of the very few Beam Bat users. He's as top tier as you'd expect as a pitcher and batter, not to mention he's unmatched at a fistfight.

He enjoys unchallenged popularity on the XB field, but he also has a more goofy side. His antics include giving his teammate incomprehensible nicknames and getting hungover on coffee, among others.

Shirokane Haru

CV: Shun Horie

Birthday: January 20th

Height: 160 cm

Weight: 47 kg

Voice sample 1: My name is Haru. Shirokane Haru.

Voice sample 2: If I can really hit this swing...

"If I really have potential... I wanna give it a try!"

A timid bullied boy. He was getting into trouble with the town's delinquents as usual when Kamiya and Taiga saved him. He was bound by his own perceived uselessness, but Kamiya noticed his natural agility, wits, and keen eyes and he was invited to use these "weapons" of him for the Minato Tribe.

Taiga

CV: Chiharu Sawashiro

Birthday: October 10th

Height: 182 cm

Weight: 76 kg

Voice sample 1: I'll beat Kamiya Shun and become the best player!

Voice sample 2: The match only starts when you get to the batter's box.

You got nothing to worry about, you got me as the captain on this ride aboard the S.S. Big Ship Taiga, where S.S. stands for "safe and sound"!

A hot-blooded boy who came to Neotokyo from the other side of the ocean in pursuit of one dream: winning against the strongest man, Kamiya Shun! He joins the Minato Tribe along with Haru. He's a novice in XB and struggles to memorize the rules, but he keeps challenging his opponents with his dauntless courage and the brute strength he's so proud of.

Arisugawa Saori (Vice-Leader)

CV: Mai Fuchigami

Birthday: November 22nd

Height: 162 cm

Weight: 43 kg

Voice sample 1: The Minato Tribe never says no to anyone wanting to join or leave. You can stay as long as you want.

Voice sample 2: Raise your arm higher and put more strength into your swing.

There's no ball I can't catch!

The Minato Tribe's vice-leader. Despite her frail looks, she's an outstanding catcher, capable of stopping even Kamiya's blazing fastballs. She takes charge, commanding Minato's ensemble of oddballs since Kamiya is too careless to be a real leader.

No one values the members of Minato's team more than her, but she is extremely strict about rules and morals, never hesitating to unload a cartridge of her favorite airsoft gun on a transgressing teammate.

Mita Santarou

CV: Mutsumi Tamura

Birthday: March 30th

Height: 150 cm

Weight: 44 kg

Voice sample 1: I know talent when I see it.

Voice sample 2: The first thing rookies do is carry my stuff. That's the law of Minato.

T-those dudes are no match for me...! Ok, you guys go take them on!

A member of the Minato Tribe. He claims to be the ace of the team but is actually just a reserve pitcher. He's a pervert and a sleazeball and often gets punished by Arisugawa for it, but he shows no signs of wanting to fix his flaws.

He tends to abuse his seniority over the new members, but he's as caring and friendly as he is unreasonably bossy.

Daimon Manami

CV: Fukushi Ochiai

Birthday: July 20th

Height: 191 cm

Weight: 180 kg

Voice sample 1: I accept all forms of gratitude and cake.

Voice sample 2: You gotta swing hard but without straining yourself.

Don't forget to eat well before a game of XB.

A member of the Minato Tribe. He's always supporting the other members with his gentle personality and great cooking. Minato's base of operation is Lovely Ocean, a restaurant he runs.

Despite his usual calm, no one can stop him when he snaps.

[Translation note: Manami means "lovely ocean"]

Aoyama Kazuki

CV: Shouya Chiba

Birthday: May 18th

Height: 174 cm

Weight: 57 kg

Voice sample 1: Huhu, even if I can't use my left arm anymore, my brain is still much better than yours, stupid people.

Voice sample 2: Timing is essential in our next strategy, I'll be giving the commands. It'd be easier for all of you since you won't have to think.

"You'll be my pawns."

A mysterious boy who suddenly appeared asking to join the Minato Tribe. He can't properly play XB because his left hand is injured. But for unknown reasons, he's very knowledgeable about XB tactics and how to handle a Beam Bat and makes full use of his ingenuity to bring victory to Minato.

He seems to have some kind of goal in approaching the Minato Tribe, but what could it be?

Chiyoda Tribe

A tribe under the patronage of the king of Neotokyo. They have been suppressing many other Tribes all over the country to ostentate their power.

[Chiyoda is the ward where the Palace is, so the Chiyoda Tribe are the guys with political power]

Ootori Oujirou (Leader)

CV: Jun'ichi Suwabe

Birthday: September 26th

Height: 192 cm

Weight: 78 kg

Voice sample 1: Can you entertain me, even a little?

Voice sample 2: A game needs blood. In eras where giants clash, the people are waiting for battles that spray blood and shatter bone.

"Winning is everything. There is nothing else I need."

The leader of the Chiyoda Tribe, and heir to Ootori Tenshin, the king of Neotokyo. Tenshin trained him since he was a child to be the strongest XB player.

He challenges teams all over Neotokyo to prove he is the best.

Ootori Tenshin (King of Neotokyo)

CV: Hiroshi Naka

Birthday: January 31st

Height: 177 cm

Weight: 51 kg

Voice sample 1: None is allowed to disobey the Ootori family! It's the masses to duty to kneel before me. Am I wrong?

Voice sample 2: Every single one of those so-called big shots sullying my Chiyoda must be exterminated! Go show them the power of the Ootori family!

"Through XB, you must show that that the power of the Ootori family is absolute!"

The king of Neotokyo. He's strongly obsessed with XB, to the point he trained his heir Oujirou since childhood to be the best player.

After that, he founded the Chiyoda Tribe with Oujirou as the leader.

He aims to trample all Tribes in the country in XB to ostentate the strength of the Ootori family.

CV: Mikako Komatsu

Birthday: March 15th

Height: 170 cm

Weight: 46 kg

Voice sample 1: As you wish.

Voice sample 2: I honestly and absolutely believe you will get the result you desire.

"Only death awaits the enemies of the Ootori family."

Ootori Tenshin's secretary. To the public, she's nothing more than a modest secretary, but her secret is that she's a cold-blooded agent, capable of doing anything for the sake of the Ootori family.

Countless people who criticized or plotted to opposed the Ootori family's plans may or may not have been to their grave by her hand.