#my upcoming life is so stressful that i just wish the only excitement in my future was seeing a dang fall out boy concert

[yellowsubiesdance]

i’m really pining for the excitement i was feeling before the fob concert. there was so much to look forward to, including spending time with my loved ones. and now that it’s over, the only “excitement” i have waiting in the future for me is change, change, change.

[thefrogdalorian]

The Best of Both Worlds

Din Djarin x Female Reader Modern!AU

Summary: When a new Star Wars TV show called The Mandalorian premiered, you found yourself completely enamoured with the titular character. Enjoyment of watching the lone bounty hunter travel through the galaxy quickly turned to obsession. There was just something about the show that captured your imagination. Now, you spend much of your free time — when you're not working a fast-paced, minimum wage and incredibly stressful job at a prestigious London Museum— speaking to your online friends about your love for the show. There's just one thing... Despite how much you love The Mandalorian, no one knows the identity of the man behind the helmet... either in the show, or in real life. You only know him as Mando. No one has ever seen his face, no one knows his name.  Even after the countless hours of speculation from fans online, which even you have occasionally participated in, no one is any the wiser to the identity of the mysterious man who wears the shiny armour.  Surely, given the depth of your love for the show, you'd recognise if the man who you spend so much time obsessing over online was to ever cross paths with you. Right?

Content Warnings: Reader is AFAB, uses she/her pronouns and in her mid 20s. Age gap between her and Din is noted but not really central to the story. Grogu is human, hints of past trauma/child abuse before Din adopted him are mentioned but not described in detail. Some mature scenes later on in the fic but not explicit smut... because I just cannot write x reader smut! Author's Note: SO very excited to finally share this fic! Thank you to the lovely @suresnips for being my beta. I really appreciate you ♡ This baby was originally my NaNoWriMo 2023 project and was inspired by this post from @toxic-seduction that I saw one evening and couldn't stop thinking about! POVs will alternate chapter to chapter from Din to reader. It was fun to write that way! Set in London for a few reasons: partly because I love the movie Notting Hill and it has some of those vibes (if you squint), also, the village where Din lives is based on Elstree Studios just outside London, where the OT was filmed and ultimately because NO WAY was I writing a modern!AU set in the states, it would've been painfully obvious a Brit wrote it. While there are lots of references to places in London, I don't live there so it might not be truly accurate (Londoners don't come for me). Also, to be political for a sec, reader works at the British Museum and I hate that institution. This was actually the line of work I was interested in when I was at Uni but for many different reasons I did not pursue it. However, it works for the plot of this story and as you'll see, she doesn't exactly love it either and goes on a few rants. Just wanted to make that clear that her job there is not an endorsement of it or anything. I can't stand them or their historical apologist bs and I wish we would give back all the things we stole (including the Parthenon Marbles)! Finally, it was incredibly important to me that the actor behind Mando in this fic clearly be the fictional character of Din Djarin rather than the real person Pedro Pascal, because rpf is not my jam! I hope I did that pretty well but just wanted to warn that if you're expecting me to use Din as some kind of way to write a Pedro fic, this won't be for you! Okay, I'll shut up now! This fic is fully written, just needs editing so hopefully I'll get a couple of chapters up each week, but life happens. I'm very proud of this one and I really hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! Also if you would like to be added to my taglist for this fic, please let me know! Happy reading ♡

❁ My Masterlist ❁ Read on AO3 ❁

Why Does It Always Rain On Me? [Reader POV]: After a dreadful day which saw you drenched by a rainstorm after leaving a hectic day at work, you reflect on your love for Mando and upcoming excitement for the sci-fi convention you will soon be attending with your internet best friend.

He Is My Only Priority [Din's Pov]: The character of The Mandalorian is known and loved by millions. But there is another, much softer side to the man who portrays him that Din Djarin is determined to keep hidden from the world, despite the challenges that presents for him and his beloved son, Grogu.

This Is Why (I Don't Leave The House) [Reader's POV]: Your internet bestie arrives in preparation for the Star Wars convention you will attend together. Everything is set for the greatest weekend of your life! Until you arrive at the con and find yourself overwhelmed by all the crowds and noise. At least you have numerous incredibly realistic Mando cosplays to distract you from how stressed you feel, and there's one in particular which is uncannily accurate...

Curiosity Killed The Cat [Din's POV]: Despite his reservations and against his better instincts, Din heads to a Star Wars convention that he was invited to. Although he fears that his cover will be blown, curiosity gets the best of Din and he can't resist attending a panel. But Din doesn't exactly find the answers he was looking for. Instead, he finds something far more precious. Something that he would never have expected...

He's So Tall (And Handsome As Hell) [Reader's POV]: Being back in the real world and returning to work after an incredible weekend at the convention where you had so many fun experiences is taking its toll on you. The thought of collapsing on your couch in front of The Mandalorian is the only thing keeping you going. However, the universe has other plans for you. News of an out-of-hours tour for a private client that you are asked to lead almost sends you over the edge, but when you finally meet the man, he is the opposite of what you were expecting. Weirdly, he seems familiar...

With A Little Help From My Friends [Din's POV]: Din returns to the set of The Mandalorian to begin filming a new season. Despite his experience and capability, he finds that he struggles to focus as his thoughts remain firmly fixed on a certain someone...

You're The Sunflower [Reader's POV]: Despite feeling certain that you'll never see the ridiculously handsome man you gave a tour of the museum to, a special delivery is about to change everything...

Your Face Hung Up High In The Gallery [Din's POV]: After a difficult few days of filming The Mandalorian, Din is excited to spend time with you as he finally takes you on your first proper date...

Have I Known You Twenty Seconds or Twenty Years? - (Reader's POV):  Despite a messy evening which led to you waking up in an opulent hotel which you have no memory of falling asleep in, memories of kind brown eyes and breathless kisses soon come flooding back to soothe your soul. Your relationship deepens as the two of you spending time together whenever your busy schedules allow. But one night, a turn of events causes you - despite Din's reassurances - to wonder if everything you have been working so hard to build together has just come crashing down around you...

There's A War Inside Of Me - [Din's POV]: The realities of the secret he is keeping from you begin to weigh heavily on Din's mind and he seeks advice from a certain curly haired co-star on what his next move should be. Things don't go exactly according to plan, not least because of the typically awful English weather...

It Could Be Love, We Could Be The Way Forward - [Reader's POV]: With your respective busy jobs keeping you and Din apart, a mystery date after a hectic day at work is exactly what you needed.

The Calm - [Din's POV]: When filming overruns and conspires to keep Din from the fun weekend he planned for you, he agonises over his decision. Fortunately, he manages to salvage the weekend, even after a calamity involving a rowboat...

The Storm - [Reader's POV]: The happiness you feel in response to a question Din posed to you is somewhat clouded by lingering doubts. Yet your affection for each other helps you to push those emotions down, until a weekend spent at his cottage changes everything...

P.S. - I tried to be inclusive for all body types and skin tones in this fic, but if I missed something, I do apologise. If you do spot something that takes you out of the fic, I am more than happy for constructive criticism as I wouldn't want anyone to be excluded on those grounds. I am always trying to do better and would love to know where I went wrong so I can improve and be more aware of these things going forward, so I would appreciate it if you could let me know if you do spot anything. Thank you so much! ♡

[lon3lystarr]

♡love in bloom♡

Summary: y/n struggles with her grades terribly, the golden boy of nekoma university can help with that despite y/n’s repugnance for him

pairing: Tetsurō Kuroo x Reader

warnings: *mild enemies to lovers,y/n and kuroo are both in college,y/n goes by she/her, mentions of self doubt, stress and anxiety,kuroo calls y/n darling, kuroo and y/n both are dorks, a little cursing.

notes: if you have any requests please leave them in the comments and if there’s any typos i’m sorry about that:))!*

————

————

“failure, failure, failure”

the word kept repeating over and over in y/n’s head, the negative emotions brewing in her chest only growing by the second,the frown painted on y/n’s lips never left since she seen her latest AP Chemistry Exam grade. the big “55%” on the left corner taunting her but the words below said grade caused vexation to erupt throughout her entire body

“miss l/n please stay after the lesson. it’s about your grades!”

class ended, students exiting the lecture hall except y/n. her professor’s fatigued voice echoed around “y/n, you have failed three exams straight…i know you try extremely hard to be a studious student, having your nose planted in your textbooks and studying every second you can, i genuinely see you’re trying but you cannot fail the upcoming exam so i think the best option right now is to get you a tutor. you may know Kuroo Tetsuro, he’s one of my astute students and i think you can learn from him.”

Kuroo. Fucking. Tetsuro. the “astute student” who spends every moment of his life being a suck up, the overachiever who flaunts his intelligence with a stupid smirk, good grades that match his good volleyball skills, captain of his team and the talented middle blocker, makes you question if you’re even trying with your academics and not to mention all the girls falling to his feet like they’re brain dead zombies with no dignity, he’s the shiny golden boy of nekoma university.

his smug face carved into the walls of her brain, gosh just knowing his response to him being my tutor because of how badly i’ve been failing is extremely embarrassing, it makes her stomach twist uncontrollably.

“uhh professor, is there anyone else that can tutor me? i don’t think kuroo is a good cho-“ y/n responded, nervously tugging her fingers “y/n, you don’t have room to dismiss this opportunity. you need to pass the next exam or you’ll have to retake this class. kuroo is a great choice for this, for you” the professor stated sternly but calmly, leaving no room for any discussion “…very well professor, kuroo can tutor me” y/n replied bitterly, stoned faced as she raised up from her seat, heading towards the tall wooden door “this is bullshit” y/n said under her breath as the classroom door shut loudly behind her

———

———

“miss l/n needing MY help? isn’t that groundbreaking information?” kuroo’s stupid sarcastic voice was heard behind her “hopefully the ground swallows you whole , your face is nauseating” replied y/n roughly shutting the beige colored locker in front of her and turning around to face the pest “you remind me of nitrogen dioxide, poisoning every thing and everyone with your distasteful attitude” kuroo snapped back, muscled arms folded across his chest, stupid grin on his full lips ��so that means you’ll finally drop dead?” y/n sarcastically asked, overly dramatic excitement present in her tone “oh you wish, i’m the oxygen protecting myself and everyone from your unpleasant presence” kuroo said, head tilting to the right with a wide grin “whatever asshole, enough useless talk. when are you going to tutor me?” said y/n while rolling her eyes “well, are you busy right now? we can start today and continue everyday until the next exam.” kuroo suggested “that sounds good, the quicker, the better” y/n snickered “i agree, can’t be around ms.nitrogen dioxide for too long now can i?” kuroo said with his signature smirk, his body leaning forwards invading y/n’s personal space “and why’s that? too weak to stomach the thought of someone disliking your existence?” y/n teased back, leaning forwards as well, standing her ground “you’d be surprised if you knew how many people dislike me, you aren’t the only one darling” kuroo said, chest puffed out “atleast you’re self aware” y/n replied shoving past his bulky built and walking towards to the exit of their university “hurry up and let’s get this over with” y/n said, her voice becoming more distant as she took steps forwards “yes ma’am” kuroo replied with a smirk, speed walking to catch up with her.

———

———

“come on y/n, why aren’t you getting this question right, In a saturated solution of Zn(OH), at 25°C, the value of [OH-] is 2.0 × 106 M. What is the value of the solubility product constant, Ksp, for Zn(OH)2 at 25°C ?

A) 4.0 × 10-18

B) 8.0 × 10-18

C) 1.6 × 10-17

D) 4.0 × 10-12

or

E)2.0 × 10-6”

kuroo repeated the question for the 10th time with a slightly frustrated tone “kuroo i don’t know how to answer this question, can we just take a break? we’ve been studying for 2 hours straight” y/n replied, dragging her hands over her face with annoyance and frustration. this whole situation is frustrating, if it’s not kuroo constantly telling y/n “how easy this question is” and “how obvious the answer is” it’s the shame and embarrassment heavy on her heart, feeling so stupid when you’ve tried so hard to show everyone and yourself you aren’t, sleepless nights debating whether or not you should just give up on a career you’ve so desperately wanted to pursue and succeed in…all and all feeling like a failure in life

“yeah we can take a break, maybe then your brain can absorb the information better” kuroo’s deep voice snapped her out of the dark cloud forming around her. silence suddenly fell upon them in the empty library. the library’s big window’s provided a clear view of the orange and pink sunset painting the sleepy town of Miyagi Prefecture in all different shades, the sweet breeze making the delicate pink petals of the cherry blossom trees to flow through the air “isn’t that so beautiful? us humans don’t deserve to see such an exquisite view” kuroo said, looking out the window to see the scenery y/n was staring at “i know, we take this for granted, being able to have sight is a gift but using sight to see this…it’s amazing” y/n replied quietly, the tension shifting between hostile to serene. y/n looked to her left where kuroo sat next to her, his raven colored messy hair and narrow hazel eyes shined with amber specs from the sunset, his face relaxed and his pink lips formed a smile, not a teasing smirk nor grin but a gentle smile, it was nice to see this side of kuroo “you know, maybe tutoring you isn’t so bad if we’ll have moments like this hmm?” kuroo said, turning his gaze to y/n, tenderness encasing the two of them “i agree, maybe i can learn your deepest darkest secrets” y/n said with a smile, softly nudging kuroo with her shoulder “darling you’ll have to wait in line for that” kuroo replied while nudging y/n back softly, a laugh escaped from him “well maybe you can answer a question i’ve had for so long..” y/n said now looking back at the giant window in front of her “i might have the answer to your question” said kuroo, shifting his body to face her “how are you so perfect? perfect grades, perfect reputation, perfect volleyball skills, you have everyone eating out of your palm. it’s hard to try your best when you know there’s someone who has already succeeded.” y/n quietly admitted, her body language tense and unconfident “i’m far from perfect y/n…there’s days where i shut down and become a walking corpse due to exhaustion,stress and anxiety, the responsibilities i have on my shoulders are far too much for me to handle at times,there’s people who absolutely hate me just because i exist, i try so hard to become this person my father wants me to be but…i just can’t be that person no matter how hard i try. those A’s i get doesn’t matters because it’s never enough. so y/n never feel like there’s someone who’s better than you or you aren’t trying hard enough, as long as you keep pushing yourself forward and never deteriorate into a pile of negativity, you’ll be okay, i promise” kuroo replied, sincerity and patience oozed from him. the version of kuroo that y/n molded him to be crumbled in front of her, kuroo softly rubbed her back in circular motion like he was comforting a kicked puppy “Tetsuro…thank you, genuinely, thank you” y/n said, watery eyes looked into his, he pulled her into a warm embrace “no need to thank me, never have doubt in your abilities or intelligence, i know you can do great. you are great y/n” said the deep voice of kuroo. kuroo out of all people understands y/n? past her would laugh in her face.

———

———

3 weeks passed with y/n and kuroo studying after class, sometimes they studied at the library or the cozy small coffee shop a couple of blocks away from their university, the longer they hung out with each other the closer they connected with one another, confiding in each other about things they felt like no one else could understand. more days went by and the last exam approaching closer, which y/n was ready for…what she wasn’t ready for was kuroo leaving her after, since he’s not going to be forced to tutor her, to be around her anymore, she never thought she’ll love being around him so much, loving his corny chemistry jokes and his dorky little rants about his new interests or when he comforts her when she’s feeling overwhelmed. he became part of her routine, she doesn’t want him to leave yet..or ever

the day before the exam was nerve wracking, studying since sunrise nonstop, which in hindsight isn’t the best but she couldn’t fail this exam, she can’t fail herself, she can’t fail kuroo. all the hard work they’ve done together just to get another 55 would be heartbreaking, embarrassing, and dispiriting “what did i say about over working your brain? you know it causes brain fog, mental exhaustion, muscle tension and headaches. i can’t have my star student having that” kuroo said, deep voice bouncing against the walls of the empty library “yeah yeah professor, i was planning on taking a break” y/n said, playfully rolling her eyes “i know that’s a lie so let’s actually take that break” kuroo said snatching the text book from her and taking up the empty seat to her left “you think you know everything, what are you? a mind reader?” y/n replied, leaning back into the mahogany wood seats “well i do know you’ll pass tomorrow’s exam, you’ve improved exponentially, makes me nervous you’ll pass me. i have my eyes on you” kuroo teased, his pointer and middle finger pointing in her direction“is that a threat dork?” y/n teased back with a laugh “it’s a promise darling” kuroo replied, a grin wide on his lips “do you really think i’ll pass tomorrow’s exam? i don’t want your tutoring to go to waste..” y/n stated, seriousness suddenly in her tone “of course you’ll pass and i’ll there telling you how proud i am and how i knew all along you would pass. and my tutoring wouldn’t go to waste, i aleast we got to become close right?” kuroo said while wrapping an arm around her frame, being her reassuring blanket “you always know how to comfort me roster top” y/n said, leaning against his shoulder, smiling “wow is that what i get for being the amazing, caring, handsome, kind prince? i get made fun of? what a tough world we live in” kuroo said, a faked frown as he placed his head on top of hers. once kuroo became close to y/n he showed his touchy side, always sitting close enough to her so their arms and legs touched, or an wrapped around her while reviewing her answers, maybe a soft nudge from his shoulder that connected with hers as he teased her or like right now where he felt his body heat intertwining with hers as they leaned against each other, comforting silence in all directions “don’t worry your pretty over tomorrow, you’ll be fine” whispered kuroo, pulling her in tighter, once again, reassuring her when she needed it

———

———

the skin of her lips bitten off, the taste of metallic heavy on her tongue, palms becoming moist. pacing back and forth in front of the tall door to the lecture hall, her stomach churning with anxiousness, her professor grading the test she just took that can determine whether or not she’ll have to retake that entire class, maybe eating breakfast wasn’t the best choice… “miss l/n please come in” the sound of her professors muffled voice came from the other side of the door, y/n immediately turning the door handle and rushing inside, she stood in front of the lectern her teacher was grading from “i’m at a lost of words, i’m not sure if i should say “i told you so” to the tutoring idea or “congratulations” but you’ve passed miss l/n. i’m extremely proud of you” said her professor, a wrinkled smile on his tired face, his eyes squinting with happiness behind his gray glasses “i did? i did! i didn’t fail this time! i have to tell kuroo” y/n excitedly rushed out wide smile that reached her eyes, she grabbed the graded paper “100%” huge on the right side of it.

speedy legs going towards the library, the spot she knew he’ll be at, the moment her eyes met his messy bed head she rushed to him “i passed! i passed! i can’t believe I’m excited over a grade, normally i’m crying” y/n said to the tall male, excitement on his face “i told you! i told you! i’m so proud, i always knew you’d pass, that big brain of yours had to absorb some kind of information” kuroo replied, grabbing her and hugging her tight while swaying her side to side “hey now, no need to call my head big, you have no room to talk” y/n replied with her head on his chest “we have to celebrate, to me being the best and handsomest tutor and you passing because of your best and handsomest tutor” kuroo announced, his head high and grin wide “can’t believe my tutor is saying made up words like “handsomest” but we really should celebrate. i couldn’t have done it without you.” truthfulness and admiration present, soft smile on her lips looking up at him “now now don’t butter me up, it’s working on me” kuroo said looking down at her, cheeks turning pink and rosy “roster top you’re getting shy on me?” teased y/n, kuroo’s face getting redder “how could i not? i don’t want to ruin what we have and make you uncomfortable but y/n…i’ve always thought you were gorgeous with an amazing personality. i know we didn’t take much in the past but now that i get to see a more vulnerable side of you and you seen a side of me that no one knows exists, it makes me realize i don’t want you to leave my life, i don’t want you to leave my routine, i want to be closer with you” kuroo confessed, gently clasping his hands on her face his warm palms making her face even hotter “i want to be able to hear you laugh at my jokes, i want to be able to be there for you through every and anything, i want to be able to tutor you but not as a friend…maybe a boyfriend?” kuroo said, voice soft and airy “a good grade AND the most handsomest boyfriend in one day? maybe i should get a lottery ticket if i’m this lucky” y/n joked, kuroo’s deep laugh ringed in her ears “i’m the lucky one, i have the prettiest girlfriend in the world AND she actually like me” kuroo says, intertwining his fingers with hers “now now, who said i liked you” y/n teased with a smirk “ouch i’m hurt, your boyfriend is hurt” kuroo dramatically threw his head back with a groan “oh stop being a big ugly baby” y/n rolled her eyes, grabbing kuroo’s face towards hers, lips inches close to each other “will a kiss help my hurt boyfriend?” asked y/n, a perked up kuroo nodded his head with a smile. a similar pink and orange tint painted over the two figures, the sun rays shined through the glass windows warming the lovebirds even more, their lips danced in a gentle rhythm, kuroo’s soft lips felt like a warm sugary pastry freshly baked, he felt like home.

“i can’t believe i just kissed ms.nitrogen dioxide, I MIGHT DIE!! HELP ME”

“KUROO SHUT UP YOU GEEK”

[prolix-yuy]

Hello friends! It's been way way way way WAY too long since we chatted, and to be honest I've been taking an embarrassingly long time to write this update post because godDAMN life just gets you sometimes and you go on an impromptu hiatus that gets super messy. So let's get into what's been going on and what to look forward to!

Pedro Tax for this long-ass post.

(We're gonna get into some personal stuff, but if you're just here for what's coming up skip down to WHAT'S NEXT for the tl;dr version)

So beyond work getting hectic from January to March, which was the catalyst for everything getting wacky, I experienced a weird emotional turn that I wasn't expecting. It made me get a little introspective, which I blame some of my productivity slump on.

As I was finishing up the Bangathon entries, I noticed a sharp decline in interaction. I'm a fairly young fic writer on Tumblr, but I was a little baffled as to why stories I'd posted only a week before got a nice bit of interaction yet the newer ones were only getting half to a quarter of what I expected. For a minute I thought I had been shadowbanned (I was not) or I hadn't tagged the posts (I had) or my taglists weren't working (they were). People were already talking about interaction being lower, so I sat back and tried to go with the flow and not let it bother me. I posted Decoherence, which has a more niche audience, but I was definitely missing and wishing for some of the comments and reblogs I thought I might get.

All this led up to one of the least favorite voices in my head saying something that stuck around:

"Well, you were right not to become a writer if your motivation is this closely tied to feedback."

If you're new here or I haven't talked about it much recently, I initially was planning to be a writer. Went to school for it and everything. While I was there I felt like I hadn't found the stories I wanted to tell yet. My colleagues were developing in their niches and writing "the great American novel" and I didn't feel like I fit in. My stories had a lukewarm reception, and I never felt like anyone was excited about anything I was trying to say. So I wrote myself into burnout by the time I graduated with not much to show for it. I ended up doing a career switch, which I love to this day, but I stopped writing for almost 10 years.

Coming to Tumblr, I felt that spark of excitement writing again, and some of that was definitely due to people commenting and being excited or interested in the stories I was sharing. That truly revived something in me I thought was long gone, and reflecting back on the last two years that I've been sharing stories with this community makes me wildly emotional. I didn't know how much I missed of the life I left behind, and how much joy it brought me to share stories again.

Which is why it was SUPREMELY FRUSTRATING to have that shitty little voice pulverize my productivity and excitement over something as silly as interaction. But I'm sure most of you know how hard it is to get that voice out of your head. I worked to write things I found fun and less stressful than the series I already felt bad for not updating. And while I still love those stories, it felt like I was pulling them from an inauthentic place and finishing them wasn't as satisfying as I'd hoped.

Thus the hiatus! I stopped writing and turned my attentions to consuming and creating in other ways. I watched some shows I'd been meaning to catch up on, started planning to buy a house, worked my butt off at the day job. And I was starting to feel like inspiration was coming back. I didn't want to spook it so I took my time and promised myself I was going to start small and not stress about getting stories out for a bit.

Top that off with some medical surprises, an upcoming surgery, and a little re-evaluation of life moving forward and things have been wild. But I've been missing the daily joy I get from being part of this fandom, and I'm getting back into being here more because I miss you guys! AND! I have stories I want to share and fun to be had. So let's shake off all the heavy shit and get to the fun stuff!

WHAT'S NEXT!

The big thing I'm getting ready to post (after teasing it for so long) is the 2024 Bangathon! This one is different from last year's because instead of requesting stories from me, the Bangathon is open to anyone who wants to participate! There will be a randomizer to play with, and some fun bonuses for those who participate. The announcement will be coming out soon, stay tuned!

As for fics, here are some updates on what's in my WIPs:

Series:

I Think of You: I spent some time rewatching Mando for the newest installment, and I've finally gotten the thread of where to go next thought out. It's been a long time coming so this one's gonna be BEEFY to make up for it.

SW!Frankie: I am crushed to realize it's been over a year since I posted any SW!Frankie! I've got a new story about him and Ms J moving in together I need to finish, then some more asks that are getting into new story arcs I'm excited to share!

Best Laid Plans: Dieter and Murch's first date is bouncing around in my head and I NEED to get it on paper. There's much fun to be had, and I've been binge listening to my playlist for them to get into the headspace.

Midnight Alley: I got all up in my own head about continuing the story with these two and lost a little steam, so I'm going to ease off my "big plans" and start smaller with some oneshots instead. I think it'll help me find out where I want this story to go.

One Shots in Progress:

Decoherence Follow-Up

Incubus!Dieter Ask

You know, laying it out like that makes it feel much more manageable than my brain was telling me! I'm also planning to prioritize more fic reading while I'm getting these updates in ship-shape. Reading your stories always helps get my creative juices flowing, and there are so many good ones lingering in my TBR list that I need to devour.

This has been a rollercoaster of emotions, so thank you for coming on the ride with me. I'm excited to bring more of myself back to Tumblr and have fun with all of you again! To many more stories!

[pharawee]

🖇️BL WATCHLIST JULY

🎬The Rebound - GAGAOOLALA - I love this way more than I thought I would (even if the 2 eps per week schedule is stressing me out already).

🎬Century of Love - GAGAOOLALA - I love everything about this show.

🎬Knock Knock, Boys! - GAGAOOLALA - I love this show so so so much!

🎬This Love Doesn't Have Long Beans - IQIYI (region-locked) | YOUTUBE - I didn't expect this to be so unhinged but I'm all for it.

🎬Wandee Goodday - YOUTUBE - gmmtv just isn't doing it for me right now and sadly this show isn't the exception I'd love it to be. :(

🎬SunsetxVibes - IQIYI - Mos as a naga, Lin hallucinating a whole hook-up, JJ with the best faces... we're off to a good start I'd say.

🖇️CALENDAR (THAI BL ONLY)

🖇️UPCOMING

⭐I Saw You in My Dream - WeTV - I trust Dee Hup with my life. But also Putter my beloved!

⭐4 Minutes - VIU - It's kind of strange how almost nothing is known about this even though it comes out so soon. I'm not hyped but I'll watch. 🤞

⭐Battle of the Writers - YOUTUBE - This isn't my cup of tea at all. I might not watch even if I really like the actors.

⭐Make a Wish - YOUTUBE - This short series with JudoFluke (and Pon) released a year ago but never got an interrelease. Supposedly it's coming to yt soon with English subs and I'm so excited!

🖇️FINISHED

🎬OMG! Vampire - WeTV - This sure was a series, huh? 🥴

🎬My Stand-In - IQIYI - Turns out this whole series is one giant trigger for me and I probably shouldn't watch it. I'm trying though - for glimpses of Winner and for the overall quality of the production. I've decided to stay away from fandom things for now because I don't want to rain on anyone's parade. :(

➕ MDL | ABOUT | ALL WATCHLISTS | COMMENTARY & NEWS TAG | THAI BL NOVELS | BL INDUSTRY | UPCOMING | SPOOKY BL

[angelicjungwon]

lee heeseung - poetry, coffee & lips

plot: managing university and work at the same time was hard, especially since you barely have any time for yourself. you spend most of your free days at the library studying or reading books for your entertainment while enjoying a cup of coffee all by yourself until one day a handsome boy around your age started joining you.

tw: mentions of feeling alone, kinda cringy cliche romance, mentions of a spicy book scene

word count: 1115 words

an: i try writing all my stories gender neutral!

i love the idea of heeseung being into books and academics. maybe a part two?

—

you loved being at university for many reasons.

you enjoyed studying, you loved learning new things and getting to look up stuff you have never heard before, feeling smarter after every little information you learned.

you enjoyed challenging yourself, trying to get better grades, making your notes look pretty and being the one whom people ask to burrow their notes from.

you loved meeting new people, joking about lectures and professors.

most of your friends disliked university.

they dropped out, or don‘t have the energy to study, which was very understandable to you.

you weren‘t the one to judge them, it wasn‘t easy managing uni and work at the same time, it was easy to get lost in everything.

however you enjoyed it a lot.

you didn‘t go to university right away. you worked for a few years, training in a job you enjoyed and once you got the degree you decided it was time for another degree, you wanted to work for the best life you could possibly get.

there were times where you felt alone. you didn‘t have anyone to join you on your late night library visits and after uni coffee trips.

it wasn‘t like you didn‘t have friends, yet most of them went their own ways, having a life to live that just didn‘t have time for you these days. some too busy at work, some even already having babies and getting married.

it was just that time of life where people start going separate ways.

sometimes you liked being alone.

sometimes you wished you had a friend to spend time with.

even if it was in silence.

it was one of those fridays again. you had two days off, your uni friends asking if you‘d like to join them on a trip around different parties, however you declined as usual. you knew they already expected you to say now, yet polite enough to ask you so you wouldn‘t feel left out.

while everyone was making their way to some parties, you made your way to your favourite local coffee shop and got yourself some way to sugary coffee, but that‘s how you liked it. you already had a book on yourself that you wanted to finish in the library, before burrowing a new one. you recently found joy in reading again, you haven‘t had time to do so in a while, but ever since you started again, you had a hard time stopping yourself from disappearing into the world of hopeless romances and cliché love stories.

you sat down in your favourite spot, library almost empty, only a few stressed souls studying for upcoming exams and lectures. you placed your coffee in front of you as you laid down the book you were currently reading. another one about love, as if you were trying to torture yourself by reading about what you wished you had.

but sometimes wishes do come true, right?

all you wanted was someone who had similar interests as you, someone who loved the little things in life and was passionate about the things he loved and did. someone who had hobbies and interests that they would talk about with such joy, that it would make you excited as well. you gave up on that wish though. sometimes you felt like you were romanticising everything a little too much, but that‘s just how you are.

„that book must be amazing.“ a voice interrupted you, making you turn your head to the side to see where it was coming from. it was a tall boy, around your age, maybe a little younger or a little older, it was hard to tell. the colour palette of his clothing items was very pleasing to you, browns and beige, something you enjoyed a lot, as it fit the aesthetic of the library a lot. his glasses sitting low on his nose, as he flashed you a smile.

„hm?“ you asked, making him chuckle.

„i tried talking to you but you were so focussed on reading, i assume the book must be amazing. mind telling me what it‘s about? i‘m looking for something new as well.“ he quietly replied as he sat down next to you.

„oh it‘s just a very romantic novel. the cliché kind of best friend to lover situation, however i prefer the other cliché, enemies to lovers, a bit more. nevertheless, the book is written beautifully, i love how the protagonist is oblivious to how beautiful she must be. the book really makes you rethink about beauty standards and different perspectives on beauty, plus she‘s really funny. her best friend is very obviously in love with her however she does not seem to understand and constantly beats the shit out of him… excuse my language.“ you said, causing him to laugh.

„sounds good to me, i like cliché lovestories as well, might read it once you‘re finished… my name is Heeseung by the way!“ he lifted his hand for you to shake. you took it in your own and smiled back at him.

„my name is (y/n), nice to meet you! i‘m almost done reading, i‘m not gonna spoiler you too much but there is a spicy scene in the last third of the book, just warning you.“ you replied, raising a brow at him.

„that explains why you were so focussed when i tried talking to you.“ he joked, making you blush a little. „oh god no!…. i read that part at my dorm.“ you muttered, wiggling your brows at him, once again making him laugh.

„you‘re very funny, (y/n). i‘ve noticed you come here quiet a lot and pretty late. are you studying here at this campus or are you just a lonely soul?“ he asked.

you leaned back in your seat and nodded. „both,“ you replied, flashing him a smile, „i study and work, this place here is my escape from everything.“ he leaned back himself as well, his eyes never leaving yours as you spoke, making you nervous.

„and… uhm… you?“ you asked.

„basically same. i spend my free time here or at my friends place, making music. we recently discovered that our voices match perfectly. i didn‘t even know he could sing until he took a shower… not that i watched him shower, i just listened to him. wait that sounds weird too. i‘m sure you know what i mean, i don‘t casually listen to my friends shower.“ he said, making you laugh.

„no worries, and even if you and your friends do that, i‘m not the one to judge.“ you grinned, making him flash you a smile for what felt like the 100th time.

„you have a beautiful smile by the way.“

[everythingbap]

Bang Yongguk Reddit AMA Part 1

A/N: translations may have inaccuracies. Part 2 here!

Hey guys! This is BANG YONGGUK, back again for another round of AMA with you 💪

I’m off to my world tour, BANG YONGGUK ‘III’ THE US TOUR 2024 very soon.

Ask me anything, and I’ll try my best to answer all of your questions!

Don’t forget to grab your tickets for our tour if you're in the US!

04/05 BROOKLYN🎟️ https://livemu.sc/4a0bdrG

04/07 LOUISVILLE🎟️ https://bit.ly/49TB9VU

04/09 CHICAGO🎟️ https://bit.ly/432IrV6

04/12 ORLANDO🎟️ https://bit.ly/48Di5Kx

04/14 DALLAS🎟️ https://livemu.sc/3wxC5AT

04/17 HOUSTON🎟️ https://bit.ly/3T6x2yS

04/19 PHOENIX🎟️ https://bit.ly/3TlTNQL

04/21 LAS VEGAS🎟️ https://bit.ly/4c2SmhG

04/23 SACRAMENTO🎟️ https://bit.ly/3TmZYnM

04/26 SAN DIEGO🎟️ https://bit.ly/431DPyE

04/28 LOS ANGELES🎟️ https://bit.ly/3V9LCZr

Meet & Greet🎟️ https://mmt.fans/bwkW

Also, stay tuned for my latest album, [3], releasing March 31st!

I’m always active on socials. Follow me to stay tuned for cool performances and more music!

Instagram: [https://www.instagram.com/bangstergram/]

Twitter: [https://twitter.com/BAP_Bangyongguk]

Youtube: [https://www.youtube.com/@bangyg]

--

BABY: Hi Yongguk! I've been a fan of you since you've been in B.A.P, and I have been supporting you ever since! Congratulations on having another world tour, I wish I could see you perform live one day though. I have a few questions though.

1- How fun was it to produce and create your upcoming album? 2- Do you have any advice for getting through the day when things are stressful? 3- Are there any songs from your career that you wish you could've went back and remade?

Thank you so much for being a part of my life and thank you for your hard work. I hope your upcoming world tour goes well!

BYG: 크레에이티브 디렉터로 다시 복귀할 수 있어서 이번 앨범은 과정은 힘들었지만 즐거웠던 것 같아요. 스트레스는 내가 무시하는 것 중 하나야. 가만히 명상해보자. 리메이크 가능하다면 내 첫 정규앨범 BANGYONGGUK을 리믹스해서 LP로 만들고 싶네. I think it was hard but fun to be back as creative director for this album. Stress is among the things I ignore. Let's try and meditate. If a remake were possible, I'd like to remix my first album BANGYONGGUK and make it into an LP.

--

BABY: Hiiiii! Could you please sing Going Crazy or 4:AM at your tour? I know it’s difficult the second one, but how do you feel about it now?

BYG: 아마 감정적으로는 힘들겠지만 4:44를 부를수 있을 것 같아요. It's probably hard emotionally, but I think I could sing AM 4:44.

--

BABY: 오빠 행복하세요? ❤️ Oppa, are you happy? ❤️

BYG:

--

BABY: Hello Yongguk!! Who are your favorite artists at the moment? Do you have any recommendations?

And do you plan on doing a Latam tour?

BYG: 몇 년째 계획만 되고 있네. 나 언제 시작할 수 있을까? I've only been planning for years. When can I start?

--

BABY: 꼭 해보고 싶었고 지금까지 해볼 수 없었던 일이 있을까용? Is there something you really wanted to do until now but couldn't?

BYG: 언제까지 가능할지 모르지만 아직까진 나는 항상 100% 노력했어요. I don't know how long something is possible, but so far I've always tried 100%.

--

BABY: And you have great fingernails, how do you take care of them??? My nails are terrible 😭

BYG: 손톱을 사랑해주세요. Please love your fingernails.

--

BABY: Hi! I've been a BABY since 2012 and I've loved listening to your solo music, I'm so excited for the new album!

What's your favorite part of touring? Is there anything that's hard about it?

BYG: 도시마다 색 다른 분위기를 느끼는 걸 좋아해요. 몸은 힘들지만 무대 위에서 여러���을 만날때 그걸 잊어버리는 것 같네요. I like feeling the different atmospheres of each city. It's tiring, but when I meet you all on stage, it seems I forget about that.

--

BABY: hi yongguk!! i've been a fan of B.A.P since debut and i honestly think B.A.P in Melbourne (2016) was the best concert i've ever been to!! it was my first as well :)

i'd like to ask, are there any scents that u're attached to? i.e. hold sentimental value or something that just improves your mood 😊

good luck w ur tour !!

BYG: 응 나는 바디로션과 향수 냄새를 오랫동안 바꾸지 않았는데 이건 집착에 일부인가 봐. Yeah, I haven't changed the scent of my body lotion and perfume in a long time, but it must be part of an obsession.

--

BABY: Hello Yongguk!

What song of yours do you find most difficult to perform? (Physically and/or emotionally).

I hope you have a great tour ♥️

BYG: AM 4:44

--

BABY: Hi Yongguk, your music has helped me a lot through tough times. Thank you for being you and for sharing your lovely self with the world through your music! 💫❤️‍🔥

I just want to ask, what advice would you give to other aspiring artists and musicians?

BYG: 스스로에게 계속 도전하세요. 누군가의 조언 보다 스스로의 목소리에 귀 기울이세요. 예술은 A.I가 대체할 수 없을 거라고 생각해. 널 알아봐 줄 1명의 팬만 있다면 성공한 거야. 힘내고 사랑하자. Keep challening yourself. Listen to your own voice instead of someone else's advice. I don't think AI can replace art. If you have even just one fan who recognizes you, you're a success. Let's cheer up and love each other.

--

BABY: What is your favourite Emoji you like best?

BYG:

--

BABY: 미국에 가기전에 한국에서 마지막 식사로 뭐 먹을까여?ㅋㅋㅋ What should I eat for my last meal in Korea before I go to the U.S.? Hehe

BYG: 라면? Ramyeon?

--

BABY: If you could be any animal for a day, what animal would you choose?

BYG:

--

BABY: Yongguk! What’s your comfort tv show? <3

BYG: 날 위한 쇼는 내가 직접 만들어야할것 같아. 나 잘 알잖아요? I think I have to make a show for myself. You know me well, right?

--

BABY: hello Yongguk!! i wish you the best for your tour! i was wondering if you had any future collabs planned 👀 ty!

BYG: 여름에 새로운 프로젝트��� 기획하고 있네? I have plans for a new project in summer?

--

BABY: Hi! Thank you for doing an AMA! Do you do anything special to take care of your voice while you tour?

BYG: 아마 투어가 시작되면 열심히 뜨거운 차를 마셔야 할꺼야. I should probably drink a lot of hot tea when my tour starts.

--

BABY: What is something on your bucket list?

BYG: 여름에 알게 될 거예요. You'll find out in summer.

--

BABY: What superpower would you love to have?

BYG: 시공간을 조종하고 싶네요. I want to manipulate time and space.

--

BABY: yongguk, you’ve been my biggest inspiration for the longest time who is your inspiration in music or do you just go with your own vibe these days?

BYG: 최근에는 월드투어가 큰 영감을 줬던 것 같네요? I think the world tour has been a big inspiration lately?

--

BABY: 안녕 방용국 오빠 ! Hello Bang Yongguk-oppa !

Do you have any plans in the future to film another documentary like "Something to Talk About?"

It would be interesting to see your progression as a person and as an artist since 2019!

감사합니다! 💚 Thank you! 💚

BYG: 새로운 다큐멘터리를 보게 된다면 아마 3-4년은 걸릴 거예요. I think it will probably take around 3-4 years to see a new documentary.

--

BABY: Hello Yongguk! Excited for your tour. What's one song you always look forward to performing on stage?

BYG: 5번트랙 Track number 5

--

BABY: Hello Yongguk! Are there any new genres of music you would like to try or have tried and really liked?

BYG: 이번 앨범 재미있었어. 나오면 꼭 들어봐요. This album was fun. Take listen right when it comes out.

--

BABY: Hi, I hope you're doing well. I'm excited for your new album. You're an amazing artist who deserves the world. Also, I can't wait to see you in Sacramento <3. Thank you for touring.

Question: Which song is your favorite out of all the songs you've released?

I miss you 💚

BYG: 2 이후라면 이번 앨범이 될 것 같아요. If it's after 2, I think it'll be this album.

--

BABY: Hi!!! What song are you excited to perform on your tour?

BYG: 새 앨범 모든 노래를 부를 예정이야. I'm going to sing all the songs from my new album.

--

BABY: Hello greetings from Mexico. There is a small possibility of having a concert of yours this year in Latin America.

BYG: Movimiento는 라틴 아메리카 투어를 위해 작업한 곡 입니다. Movimiento is a song I worked on for Latin America.

--

BABY: hiii, i'm really curious about what's your favorite moment while you're producing a new song or overall a new ep/album? i love you and i'm really excited bc '3' :)

BYG: 발매 직전! Right before the release!

--

BABY: OHMYGOOOOOD?????? HELLO????

BYG:

--

BABY: Hi Yongguk! Love you loads! How has making music and composing melodies changed since writing and composing for a group to being solo? Would you say it's harder?

BYG: 그룹보다 혼자 부르는 곡을 만드는 게 더 쉽네요. 생각보다 그룹 음악은 오랜 시간 그 노래를 부를 친구들을 위해 고민해야 할 시간이 필요하니까. It's easier to make songs I sing alone than with a group. I need to worry about the songs that my friends will sing for a long time.

--

BABY: Can you recommend a “new ramen“ to try? (Not shin) 😄

BYG: 진 Jin

--

BABY: There is EP 2, and now EP 3. Where is EP 1?

Is there anything to keep you motivated to work & be productive? 

BYG: 1은 제 자신을 의미합니다 1 means myself

--

BABY: Hello Yongguk! I hope you are having a good day! Since you are Starting a new tour soon! I had some questions that i would love to ask you from last tour if its possible!

1- When you were in Lisbon, what did you liked the most? Would you go back if it was possible? 2- What is the most memorable memory of the "Colors of Bang" Tour?

BYG: 포르투갈 와인은 특별하다. 그리고 너희들 정말 열정적이었어. 다시 만나고 싶네요. Portuguese wine is special. And you all were very passionate. I want to meet you again.

--

BABY: Hi Yongguk! Thank you for doing this AMA! My question for you is:

Do you have any regrets in your career? What would you change if you could start all over again?

I've been a fan of you and B.A.P since debut! Stay healthy and happy! Love you lots! 💚

BYG: 지금까지 해온 모든일들은 내 자신을 위한 특별한 순간들이였어요. 절대 후회하지 않아요. Everything I've done has been a special moment for myself. I never regret it.

--

BABY: Will come to Canada? Please, please come to Toronto!!!!!

BYG: 내 계획 중에 캐나다도 다시 방문해야 할 곳이에요. Canada is one of the places I need to plan to visit again.

--

BABY: i have such a strong memory of the day “no mercy” came out & watching the MV at university. i also went straight from my college graduation to go see B.A.P in concert😂 thank you for bringing me so many great memories over the years! i hope you’re doing well🙂

is there any song that when you listen, reminds you of a specific time in your life - good or bad?

BYG: 요즘 봄이 오니까 Carnival 앨범 생각 많이 나네요 These days with spring coming, I think about our album Carnival a lot

--

BABY: 이번 앨범이 내 최애앨범 될 것 같음…😍 I think this album will be my favorite...😍

BYG: 음악적으로 나도 그런 것 같아. Musically speaking, I would agree.

--

BABY: Hi king💚👑~~ As a Tunisian🇹🇳 Baby, I want to ask if you consider adding "North Africa" to your world tour list in the future! And yes love you and good luck for "3" I can't wait for it 🥹💚🔥

BYG: 모로코는 내 촬영지 후보 중 하나였어. 공연으로 북아프리카는 꼭 방문해보고 싶네요. Morocco was one of the candidates for a shooting site. I really want to visit North Africa for a performance.

--

BABY: I remember you once asked us if we prefer "The old BANG YONGGUK" or "Today's BANG YONGGUK". Does this have something to do with your comeback? Maybe a change of your music style ? What was your inspiration this time?

BYG: 내가 싫어하던 것들을 이번 앨범에 다 해본 것 같아. I think for this album I tried out everything I used to dislike.

--

BABY: Hi Yongguk! I’ve been a fan for quite a few years now, I hope everything is well with you and I wish you luck on your tour 🫶🏻

My question is, what is one song that is on repeat for you right now?

BYG: 새 앨범 노래들인데 가사가 잘 안 외워지네. 가사를 내가 쓰더라도 그건 다른 문제네요. When it's songs from a new album, the lyrics won't get in [my head] well. If I write the lyrics myself, it's a different matter.

--

BABY: How do you decide who to feature in your songs?

BYG: 그들의 음악을 오랫동안 듣고 어울리는 새 곡을 만들기 위해 노력하는 것 같아요. I think I listen to their music for a long time and try to make a song that fits them.

--

BABY: How did you feel when you were filming for NUMB? I'm afraid of heights. Seeing you near the edge of the cliff scared me 😅 I think NUMB will be my favorite ❤️

BYG: 그곳은 numb라는 노래를 위한 최적의 장소였어. That place was the best location for the song numb.

--

BABY: How many songs from BYG III album will you be singing for the tour?

BYG: 모두 All of them

[personasintro]

I AM IN LOVE WITH YOUR WORKS MIMI!

I will write 2 messages now.

1/2

First of all, I have read a reply you posted a few weeks ago in which you said that when MH ends, many people will lose interest in you/your works. That's absolutely not true. I'm a writer myself on Wattpad (more of Italian poetry and some short stories) and I was never interested in reading anything on Wattpad, nor I am a big reader in general. Ironic, isn't it? Being a writer and not liking reading that much. There are about like 5 books I have read in all my life. I am very freaking picky with stories, I hate clichés and I usually hate the Fan Fictions about existing people. But, when I first discovered you on TikTok, I was confused about what the hell is MH. This book kept blowing up on my home and at some point I got so curious and annoyed, that I decided to look up at it. When I started reading it, I don't know what possessed me, but I literally DEVOURED this book. Some days I didn't sleep just to read. Didn't study for anything. Just wanted to read. This happened with me only one time with a book. This was my second time but the butterflies I got with it, it's unbelievable. You made me rethink about what I look for a man, and I understood that I want a man like MH JK, who treats me like a princess and craves for me. I want someone who wants me physically and mentally. I'm very similar to MH JK to be honest, I'm just like him in friendships or relationships. Very dominant, flirty, gentle and kind. So I think that now I realised that it's better to settle for someone similar to me, like him. A bit narcissistic but I know my worth and how I treat people. Anyways, the thing is that it's not only MH, but your writing style is addictive. So once this book ends, I will sit here and wait upcoming new works by you. Because you became my favourite author on Wattpad (even though I know about all the situation with that platform, and I'm very sorry and mad). Probably you're my favourite second author, or first, I can't decide. I really enjoyed reading some of your other works, so I can tell you that it's you who got my attention, not only MH. Please, keep doing what you're doing. MH is an obsession for me, I love reading it because it helps me to kinda cope with my stress and feeling of loneliness. Just do what you want to do, leave negative comments behind and remember that there are people like me, who crave to see what you're going to write next. Just your ideas and imagination. It's exciting and unpredictable. Thank you for your work, I wish the platforms could pay you, because your works are worth of money. Sometimes I just want go gatekeep you hahah, but I also wish you to become successful if someday you'll decide to publish something very serious. Now I'll write the second message about MH only, and send it after this.

-July <3

Well, let me begin by telling you thank you and sorry! Thank you for writing me this message(s) – I'm counting the other one as well but I'll get to it after this – and sorry for taking so long in responding! 🥺

You made me rethink about what I look for a man, and I understood that I want a man like MH JK, who treats me like a princess and craves for me. I want someone who wants me physically and mentally. I'm very similar to MH JK to be honest, I'm just like him in friendships or relationships. Very dominant, flirty, gentle and kind. So I think that now I realised that it's better to settle for someone similar to me, like him. A bit narcissistic but I know my worth and how I treat people.

Yes! Don't settle for anything less. It's also not narcissistic at all and you're right. You know your worth. We're so used to having low standards that we barely consider raising the bar. Why? So we could all be in a relationship and later on be disappointed? It's not narcissistic at all to have high standards and I wish more people would realize and know their worth. I'm so happy you have taken something positive from the story and the character itself!

Like I said in a previous post that you're referring to, I do think there are readers who are here specifically for MH and nothing more. And that's fine and completely understandable and normal. I see the change and difference, and that's how it is. But there are also readers who enjoy my work itself, just like you do and either way, I am happy that someone is actually reading my stories. I'm so grateful for the sweetest words you've written here and I'll cherish this message for A LONG time!

I'll get to your second message now ♡

[mattoidmeerkat]

as the number #1 brain parasites truther on here, i'm curious on your feelings about the upcoming bobby plot. do u trust that they're gonna do right by our boy? or do u think it's possible the brain parasites might strike again? 😭

obviously i'm sooooooo excited to get more bobby lore, but there's just a tiny little part of me that's scared we might end up getting some bullshit ass story that's entirely ooc for bobby. ik he's been safe so far w/ the characterization, but idk man. i always get a little anxious when i hear a character's getting new lore drops

Not sure how I feel about that title. 😅️

I have been unhappy with a Bobby arc before. This was at the end of Season 5 after we had seen him struggle with being there for everyone, clearly heading to a breaking point, and then the resolution of his arc was basically a footnote in Eddie's storyline. (With Athena's visible concerns just being forgotten about completely.) This was the first time I was really disappointed in a storyline involving Athena and/or Bobby. (Sure, never dealing with any of his injuries considering his past has always been annoying, but this felt different.) I told myself it was the end of the season, and they just ran out of time to address Bobby's arc properly. The episode still annoys me, but I've made my peace with it because it left enough space for us to fill in the gabs. (There are some amazing writers out there who wrote their takes on how Bathena managed to go from 5x18 to 6x01, and I'm so grateful!)

Then Season 6 aired and that just felt very thought through. The setup for the Tanya storyline was great and 6x03 amazing. While focused on Athena, the story still showed and developed her relationship with Bobby as well. Hoover (my beloved) then also helped explore their new dynamic as empty nesters. We got episodes like What's Your Fantasy? showing us how comfortably they'd settled into their empty nest leading into the Wendall arc (that we all wished had been set up earlier for more emotional impact of his death) which really showed us how far those two have come together and individually. (Athena's approach to addiction and AA in Season 4 vs. attending a meeting with Bobby; Bobby trying to keep Athena out of his AA life vs. inviting her into his this part of his world)

The back half of Season 6 showed us even more of their development and growth. The blind faith in Recovery? Excellent. The adorableness and sexiness of Mixed Feeling? Perfect. The bitter-sweet anniversary in Love is in the Air? What an amazing way to show us how far they've come. Pay it Forward? *chef's kiss* We saw them really grow into a deep, stable relationship where they enjoyed spending time together not only around others but especially finally also just by themselves.

And then 7x01 happened. Abandon 'Ships. What a fitting title. This episode was no comparison to 5x18 because back then the end of the season productions stress and time constraints played a big role. None of that really applied here. They came off the longest hiatus ever. The actor's strike was still going on when the writers came back. It was the beginning of the season. There really was no other explanation for what they did with Athena, then they actively and purposely decided to put a plot they wanted to tell (Athena's increasingly erratic behavior confusing Bobby for what I assume was the laughs?) above who the characters were at that point in time. And that really struck me. This was the old showrunner coming in and just not caring about the previous episode(s) and season(s).

So now we are here, looking forward to (or bracing ourselves for?) this new Bobby arc at the end of an extremely condensed season, with them still filming much later than usual. With a showrunner who under much better circumstances just recently has shown that he will blatantly ignore established timelines and character development when it stands in the way of the particular story he wants to tell. (And I'm not saying he's not entitled to do that. It's his show.) So I'm setting my hopes and expectations very, very low. Because I'd rather be positively surprised by a brilliant continuation of Bobby's character arc than be deeply disappointed by another case of the brain parasites.

[links-hella-fine-booty]

2023

Holy shit. This year had to have been the most eventful year of my life and that's saying something.

Beginning of last year, Gavin and I were struggling to do whatever we could to find an apartment. Well, come February, we did. We finally were able to cross the biggest gap in our lives and relationship. I packed my stuff and suddenly, I was with him and living in Texas. My 28th birthday came and I got to spend it with friends. I haven't spent a birthday with a friend in so long. It felt wonderful to have people that wanted to be around me.

April came around and another one of my biggest dreams came true. I finally got my first puppy. Bliz has been a name for a dog I wanted for years and now he's my precious baby. I love my dog so much. He might be a little special needs as I've come to discover, but he's perfect and I know that fate brought my Bliz and I together. AND along with April, I got my beautiful, gorgeous, handsome, cunty, stunning, sweet, passionate, loving new pookie Niran. He literally brought me back to Overewatch single handedly and I love him. Fell for that man harder than any other fictional man ever. I want him carnally fr.

May was lovely and just as exciting. Not only did we once again have a wonderful time with friends for Gavin's birthday, but we got a new baby as well. Toast and Bliz actually got along and she was our kitten. Sly little thing she is, but I can't imagine life without her. Never was a cat person but I suppose she really changed me. I love my fatass little cat.

June was, hard. While being so excited to see Mexico for the first time ever in the following month, my dad ended up in the hospital. Just after Father's day. Quite possibly the scariest thing my family has ever had to go through. Weeks of nothing but worry and stress. He pulled through, but he will never be how he used to be. He's mostly in a wheelchair and can no longer walk on his own. I miss my father. I miss him so much. I took for granted all the times we went to the grocery store and taking him to the bank. I know everyone says it, but do not take time for granted. It really can be gone in an instant. I am happy to say my dad is okay. Him making it to his 81st birthday and to the New Year, means everything. I want nothing but comfort for him this upcoming year, and for my mom and sister to take it easy too. We all love him.

July, was wonderful. I got to go to Mexico with Gavin's family. They showed me nothing but kindness and caring the whole time. Mexico was beautiful and I want to go back. I have to get my passport updated but hey I will. After Mexico, it was back home to NJ. Being back home felt so right and I wish Gavin and I could move over there, but it's not in the cards right now. But! I enjoyed a great time seeing my dad and going to the Jersey Shore. Time with my mom, sister, and dad pretty much recharged me. Stayed about two weeks longer than intended but I know in the long run I needed that.

August. God. August. It started out great. We were back home and Gavin was ready for his appointment to start T. Both of us were so happy that he could finally start his journey. We went, he got it, life felt so good. However, it seemed like Gavin and I couldn't catch a break and life decided, "yeah, throw them in a car accident." Gavin's car was towed and we were in horrible pain. My stomach was so bruised I couldn't bend down and Gavin could barely use his hands. A whole week of stress and anxiety over what to do now that we didn't have a car. Thankfully his parents were once again, so kind, caring, and understanding that we were able to get a new car. His name is Ramram and he's kept us safe which is all we could ask for.

September wasn't so bad other than learning two of our friends, weren't the people we thought they were. October was pretty okay which was nice. Throughout these months it was mostly financial stress which we still have but the hell am I supposed to do about it at this point.

November. I usually hate November. Halloween is gone and done and I don't really care too much about Thanksgiving. But I suppose Gavin changed that. After weeks of severe depression and anxiety, crying every day, it all stopped. He proposed. He had gotten me the most beautiful ring. Goth and elegant. With one question, everything melted away and I haven't cried a sorrow tear since.

Now that it's December, I realize just how many things happened and how things still are happening. My family and family's friends accept my engagement and are excited for me. They are happy. I'm planning a wedding. I made it far enough in life that I am getting married. I'm getting married next October. I'm still tearing up as I write this because 19 year old Lauren didn't think she'd make it to 20, let alone 27. I'm getting married. It's incredible. Other than being in a dream like state from that, of course I had to get a whole ass addiction to Baulder's Gate 3. Perhaps it's not the traditional dnd experience but I can't say I don't love it. I now get to have some fictional men be here without me needing them. I get to have Astarion and Halsin and Gale at my happiest. That's, so different than all of the ones before them, Niran included. It almost doesn't feel real.

2023 was something else. 2024 is going to be wonderful. I am soon going back to NJ to plan where to have our wedding. Gavin and I will have our first anniversary and Valentine's day together too! I get to go back to NJ a few more times for wedding plans and vacation and then the wedding. My biggest hope for 2024, is that Gavin and I can start a process to start my dream.

I want to be a mother. I wanted to be a mother since as long as I can remember. If I can just start this journey into being a mother, everything up until that point will have been worth it. Every moment of stress, pain, tears, and more. I hope sometime next year I can make a post saying we've succeeded. I know the process won't be easy, but it will be worth it.

Happy New Year everyone. I made it through this year. I can make it through next year, and you can too.

[m34gs]

Bar AU ask time: Out of all the characters currently introduced in the AU proper (in a fic), what is the one thing they come to the bar to complain/vent about when they just NEED to get it off their chest?

Oh wow! Thank you friend, this is quite the ask ehehehe. For the sake of the post, and my sanity, I shall only write about the people who do currently visit The Bar (adults, and only the Bleach characters who have set foot inside thus far, or I will be here all night LOL!)

Alright *cracks knuckles* here we goooooo:

Gojo (JJK) - The entire start of The Bar AU. Gojo goes to the bar to cry about his children. How much he loves them, if they misunderstood him, if he feels like he's not connecting with them...whatever the case may be, it's almost always about Itadori, Megumi, and Kugasaki. He is always drunk by the time he gets there, and he does not realize that this is Not the Jujutsu Sorcerer Bar.

Nanami Kento (JJK) - So far, Nanami has gone to the bar mostly just to pick up Gojo. If, however, he were to go there to vent, it would be because he is angry about society and the system that preys upon people and destroys a person's childhood before they can even grasp it. (We love a Nanami. Men take note. Be like Nanami.)

Aizawa Shouta (BNHA) - This man is Tired (TM). He goes to the bar regularly, and the number One reason is Midoriya. Either his problem child is getting injured or is fighting villains like a vigilante or is SETTING THE DAMN KITCHEN ON FIRE YET AGAIN. His absolute "I Must Go To The Bar" reason to go out on any night of the week is Midoriya.

Ichigo Kurosaki (Bleach) - To complain about Grimmjow. The idiot won't leave him alone, except for when he weirdly goes silent and doesn't contact him for days, only to show up shouting something about "it's my day!" and "the Wheel" and then drag Ichigo off to who knows where. Usually for a spar. Sometimes to do makeup and nails. Ichigo is not sure why Grimmjow wants to be an aesthetician but he hopes that as time goes on, they will be fighting less and doing make up more.

Grimmjow Jeagerjaquez (Bleach) - To complain about how Ichigo is avoiding him or how he hasn't gotten time to spend with Ichigo. Listen, I know that I usually write Grimmjow in the bar with Ichigo, but there will be times they aren't there together, and I think in that time, Grimmjow's Number One Complaint will be that Ichigo isn't spending enough time with him/the Wheel is being unfair.

Isshin Kurosaki (Bleach) - To complain about how his son's "Love Life" keeps bringing the police to his door. Isshin really just wishes Ichigo would teach Grimmjow how a normal date is supposed to go in the human world, or go have dates in Soul Society or Hueco Mundo. Please. The Cops have been at his door 5 times in a month. FIVE TIMES, ICHIGO.

Divus Crewel (Twisted Wonderland) - so far, Crewel has been to the bar once, and he did not really complain to anyone at the time, though he was stressed. I think he'd keep things like that close to the chest. However, the ONE THING I believe would drive Crewel to confide in a drunken stranger: Crowley's seeming inability to manage Yuu's care (and wardrobe) appropriately. Crewel dotes on Yuu and will not let His Child (for yes, he has adopted Yuu) wander around looking like a Fashion Faux Pas.

That's it for now! (I know Obi and Hinawa have a brief cameo, but since they haven't properly been set up and introduced in the actual bar, I did not include them at this time)

Tell me, is there anything you would add? And which upcoming characters are you most excited to see enter The Bar? (feel free to list characters that are already appeared in fics connected to this au, or ones that have yet to be written in!)

Love you tons!!!!!💜

[acrosol]

minatozaki sana  24  female  she/her — ; where do you get your inspiration, ito yua ? you’re so intelligent , i can’t help but think of running ink on paper and dirty fingerprints on glasses when i hear your name. your friends tell me you can be dishonest sometimes . i guess it’s understandable given the circumstances . besides , i can’t even imagine how stressful physics classes must be — not to mention you’re also in seolhwayeon (captain) ! you’re a local , right ? yeah , i thought so . either way , welcome to mugunghwa !  

hello everyone!! i'm may and i'm very excited to share my version of ito yua♡ i hope i'll do the canon justice ;-; psa: i haven't properly roleplayed in a little while and i am currently very confused by the new editor TT so please excuse any technical difficulties that may be happening with my posts in the future, i'm still learning how to use this abomination !

also, i actually decided to not set too much muse information in stone this time, so there can hopefully still be plenty of space to develop her character further with the help of plotting and whatnot ! so, instead i have only gathered some rather lose bullet points about her instead which you can read about below ♡

PAST

back in high school, yua's friends often used to joke about the fact that she must be the first "prodigy child" who hated being called just that. sure, to them it seemed like yua had always been exceptionally smart and thus easily excelled in most classes but it wasn't as easy as it looked like.

in contrary to popular belief, she wasn't as gifted as she seemed and had to spend absolutely all of her free time studying for upcoming tests and exams. whenever anyone asked her to hang out, she would simply claim she had a lot of extracurricular activities going on until someday people stopped asking her to hang out at all.

her classmates soon began to label her as snooty and uppish since she must have felt like she was too good for everyone else if she never had time to get to know the other people in her classes. and what started out rather harmless somehow snowballed into a bigger problem until the entire year started to avoid yua altogether.

she tried to play it off and pretend that it didn't phase her when in reality, yua's high school years turned out to be incredibly lonely. however, the lack of friends around her made it easier to drown herself in books and just like that, she still became valedictorian.

in 2021 during her second year of uni, she decided to take a break and study abroad for a while, opting for an art school. however, she quickly realised that the arts weren't exactly her cup of tea, so instead she spent most of her time there with her new girlfriend. it was the first and only time in her life where her studies weren't the most important thing to her.

PRESENT

today, yua still normally keeps to herself. there are definitely still a few people who believe her to be too full of herself to pay attention to anyone else but it seems like most people pay her no mind.

since she hardly had any friends growing up, she found comfort in seeking academic validation. it is the only thing that seems to bring her true joy, but she still whole-heartedly wishes she was more popular, even if she would never admit it.

in an attempt to find some friends to spend time with, she joined the taekwondo club. much to her surprise, it worked better than expected and she was soon asked to be the captain. it was only a small thing, but in that moment yua had never felt more popular.

yua is well aware of the fact that she is technically part of the keepers but she would never call herself a member: to her it just seems like a waste of time ... which is why she's almost never seen around the group.

something most people wouldn't know about her is the fact that even if yua looks like she isn't paying attention, she definitely still is aware of her surroundings. after all, her years spent in solitude moulded her into a perfect observer. even if she would never dare talk about the things she hears and sees ... it doesn't mean that she doesn't know about a couple of secrets here and there.

aaaaaand this is everything i have so far!! please let me know by liking this post if you would like to plot ♡ i also have discord if that's easier for some of you, so please don't hesitate to ask for my user !

[book51ut]

notes on aging, 2024

i turn 23 in two hours. it’s been a year oscillating between tumult and statis. I graduated university, I moved three times, one of which was to another country. I traveled to seven countries and eighteen cities. For most of it I was alone, but I only felt lonely sometimes. I am and have always been incredibly skeptical of change, yet for some reason i decided to dive headfirst into it. In a rare moment of insight when I was 17, as my friends were excited to go to college and gain some independence, I lamented that I was dreading the next ten years of my life. I said I was excited for my 30s,40s,50s, because I imagined I would have stability and routine. To 17 year old me, I would’ve loved to fast forward thru all of the unrest, financial, geographical, and emotional. I wanted an apartment to call my own, not four roommates and a lease that says I can’t hang up pictures. I wanted life marked by recurring events on a calendar. Pilates class at 7pm on Wednesdays from now until forever, not for now until the end of the semester. I still largely feel that way. A part of me wishes I could press the 2x or 3x speed button and not have to BUILD something stable, to just have it. But I cannot do that, and I know that. We trudge along, and it is less stressful to move with the wind than against it. So, forward I go with the best attitude I can muster. i’ve taken up the philosophy that it’ll be fine (probably). one thing i’ve noticed in myself this year is that i’ve hardened quite a bit, and i think it’s time to loosen back up. In my travels I’ve encountered so many moments that should have awed me and instead i’ve been distracted. A theme in my life right now is getting out of my head, acting honestly and with intention, and approaching people with kindness and sympathy. I’ve been mean, i’ve been disingenuous. I’m getting too old for that. The problem is, I don’t know where to start. Just because I can identify the problem doesn’t mean I have the solution. Anyway that’s what’s on my mind now, I’m interested to see what goes on in this upcoming year. I’ve also been working with kids for the first time in my life, and have been awed by their sense of play and generally happy disposition. It gives me a lot of faith in the people around me and slows me down in a way that I think is really helpful for me mentally. I truly love them all and will be very sad to leave them. I also worry that in the upcoming year, i’ll forget all the things they taught me about life just by nature of not being around kids. My next year, 23, is going to be a doozy. I think it’ll be a tough year, but I don’t think that’s a bad thing. I’m starting law school, moving to a different city, leaving Spain, readjusting to US culture and work values, and getting started on my long term career. There is plenty of change in the upcoming year. But it’s my path, and i’ll walk with the wind. It’ll take me where it takes me.

[poolpartymusic]

different week, same struggles

All of October I've had trouble falling asleep, woke up way too many times but above all: my mind has been too god damn busy. So busy that I've had at least 10 sleepless nights in a month. I've taken a strong sleep medicine for two nights, and now two nights without it's been going swell.

It was really scary. At one point I really thought I had tinnitus (which I still might have, but the noise had just become soooo loud because of all the stress I had). I also got (and still am) pretty emotional and sensitive. All my life I've practically praised myself for being such a good sleeper, and it was really scary to realize I might've fucked that up.

I'm okay now, but that's been a main thing. I've really limited the alcohol, coffee and substances intake and that has been interesting as well. Turns out I do actually crave a beer every now and then, so it isn't as yuck as I thought, and it also turns out to be way more difficult to say no to a beer in social circumstances.

Most importantly, I spoke with a friend who has suffered from even heavier sleeping problems. He had a serious underlying mental issue going on and encouraged me to think about what has changed in my life these past months. The only thing I could possibly think of, was the saying-goodbye to my friend group. And though at the beginning of our conversation I really didn't feel like it was a thing that bothered me, he helped me realize I've been stuffing away all the negative feelings surrounding it. Because of summer it was so easy to just enjoy the heat and the people I did have around me, even when those were mostly friends from my boyfriend. But as fall fell, the loneliness hit me a lot more. And it made me realize once again that I don't really feel like I don't have a solid friend group. And that I haven't mourned the hope I had for my friend group. That I don't mind not seeing some of them anymore, but that for so many years I desperately wished for it and for them to be different.

It was nice to talk about with that friend and later my boyfriend. I see things I didn't see before and in ways it's already a little bit healing.

Some less deep things:

A couple of things have changed since the last time I wrote. I got an internship at two places, one graphic printing workshop and one at a big national newspaper company. Both really cool, one more scary than the other. But I'm proud of myself and I'm excited to learn.

My minor's been alright. I feel cool being the top of the class student (for both the group project and the exam). One teacher was really really excited about my ideas revolving innovations in art and really encouraged us to pick my problem to solve in the upcoming weeks. Because it's quite a man-heavy study and work field, I already feel very conscious being a woman. It feels, although it's not something that's literally been said or pointed out, that they don't expect women to do as well. And aside from that, it definitely feels as though they don't expect an art student to do well and be capable. So that feels nice and good and I should try and stay somewhat humble and grounded.

I was writing all this when my boyfriend asked me for help on his internship e-mails. After that I received a text from a housemate telling us there's a leakage in our fuse box. Really woke me up and scared me. I'm alright now, but it was really scary for a while. I went home and packed a little 'flight back' and I'll be sleeping at Michaels. So I will survive, but the thought of everything burning was so scary.

[potato-jem]

no work, just you spending your days in rome and eating pasta 😌😌😌 and that’s so frustrating!!! of course you are all going to be stressed if you’re being overworked, that manager needs to get her priorities straight. my job at the moment sucks because they won’t do anything over the minimum labour, so if we are busy, we can’t call people in most of the time 😭😭😭 can our managers just roster properly please??

literally! even if we could just send a little thing, just for us to try what the other person is having would be good. CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW HEARTBROKEN I WAS? I HAD TO ORDER SOMETHING ELSE 😭😭😭 i think you should come over and add it, because they would definitely listen to you 😌😌😌 

i am always in need of good food and wine 😭 i’m glad you can at least talk to your friend about it, but i would see if there are any other job opportunities available. i don’t think it’s worth putting yourself through all that stress, even if you do really like the job. at the end of the day, you only have a job to get money and to live. you spend a large amount of your time every week at work, so you need to make sure it is something that doesn’t make you super stressed out and dread going to... but that’s just what i think! 

we had three people on like six devices with a million tabs open. it was so stressful, but we got there in the end 😂😂😂

ahh how exciting!!!! is this for niall horan’s tour?? because i did see that he was going on tour and i was wondering if you were going to go! (obviously yes)

they both don’t really drink, whereas i do 😂😂😂 so probably a bit more because i have been a bit more trained in drinking than the both of them combined. even then, when i drink, i get more nurturing??? in real life, i’m not the kind of person to put my feelings on display or be overly affectionate, so when i drink, i’m a bit better with that! 

i also had to tell myself that i was on holiday and it’s fine that i spent my money, but i still feel guilty 😭😭😭 i’m manifesting that you’ll be able to get those tickets somehow!!

the pile was probably the height of my whole torso, my arms hurt so much 😂 i did manage a little self control though, so it wasn’t as big as what it could have been! i mean i can admit i have a young looking face, but what makes them think i’m bold enough to take something up to the register if i wasn’t of age? 😂 and i’m surprised you would get id’ed with all the tattoos you have! surely that’s enough of an indicator that you’re an adult 😂😂😂 and we’ll have to see!! although i need to stop buying books if i have any hopes of reading them all 😭😭

and the worst (best) part of the girl dancing on the pole was she was wearing this huge jacket and then took it off to go onto the pole AND MY GOD. i love women so much, they mean the world to me <3

aww cece 🥺🥺🥺 that’s so adorable!!! i love when other queer people come up to you because they feel safe enough to compliment you <3 it’s such a heartwarming feeling! and the fact they were so observant! that made my day too!!

he doesn’t have a name yet, but i’ll find one eventually! i can’t just not play with his ears, they’re so soft 🥺

it was a stressful class, BUT I NEVER HAVE TO DO IT AGAIN!!! (unless i failed idk) i kinda have an idea of what to do with my short story, so i’ll start it soon. but considering i slept most of today, i am just so happy that this semester is almost over 😭😭😭 i wish i could have every other week off, it would be so much better for me, but i have to save money for upcoming trips (i just put in my application to study abroad for a semester, so i’m hoping that i’ll be accepted!!) 

good policy to have, i must say! oh well, money is temporary, tattoos are forever? 😂

i’ve just got a couple of easy things due this week, and then i have a week off classes to do my other assignments, so it should be pretty okay! i’m gonna give you a blanket and some snacks so you can take some time to watch a movie and relax <333333333

hello nero my beloved soulmate!! <33

i’m back and i am already suffering from severe PHD (post holiday depression, i decided it is a thing). my friend left last night and i hate this. it’s so unfair that we live in two different countries and we can’t see each other as much as we would like to. i’ll probably see her soon, i should have another week off in august and we were talking about me visiting her this time so hopefully i’ll be able to go.

anyway, on to the trip!! it was so cool!! i mean the first week we stayed in tuscany, we went around florence and a few other cities around here, and we got tattoos!!! i told you about this already but they are so cute!!! our little irish dinosaurs (they’re irish because we met in ireland <3 they’re named saoirse and niamh).

then for the second week we went to rome!! oh it was so nice!! we found the perfect weather. it was always sunny and warm enough to go around in shorts, but never too hot not to be able to explore. we went for the usual places: the colosseum, the pantheon, the squares and fountains, all that. but also we accidentally found ourselves into the roman forums and they were amazing!! i’d never been in them, only seen them from above, but they are so big, you can see a whole city. but the highlight was ostia antica. it was this archeological site near rome and it’s so quiet because not may people know it. it’s an 84 acres site where you can literally walk into houses and shops and temples and theaters from the roman period. and it’s amazing because usually rome is very protected, like there are fences and barriers everywhere, you can’t get too close to a lot of stuff, but in ostia antica we could literally touch the ruins, walk through them and find our way back in a maze of doors and corridors. it was so cool!!! also that’s where i found the cats!! they were so cute and friendly 🥺

last thing before i close this letter. the food!!! oh the food. we found this little restaurant on the very first night, which was actually so close to the trevi fountain, and it was so cheap and good (very rare combination to find in the middle of rome). they had some of the best spaghetti i’ve ever tried. also we kept going back there in the next days so they recognized us and they were so nice because they offered us appetizers and wine and they always remembered that we liked to order three plates of pasta to share between the two of us. they were so nice!!

i really needed this trip. i needed to be off work for a few weeks and just disconnect from all the drama and stress. and the good food and wine helped a lot with that lol. but seriously i’m so happy, it was an amazing trip and it was so good to see my friend again after so long <3

but enough about me now!! how are you doing nero?? what have you been doing these last two weeks??

also, about our last letter, i am very happy that you are following my orders and planning a very relaxing trip :) you deserve to not even think about uni when you’re on a trip. and it’s gonna be so fun to dance to that kind of music!! can’t wait to hear all about that one!!

and i’m very happy you’re obsessed with me getting tattoos because this is turning into a sickness. i can’t stop now :’)

but here are my other two tatts!!! the little rainbow one is very simple but very personal. i’ve been waiting forever to get it and it looks perfect 🥺 (yayyy you can start booking stuff!!! that means tattoos coming soon!!!)

i’m enclosing a hug and a really big plate of cacio e pepe (a kind of spaghetti with cheese and black pepper) just because one can never have too much pasta <3333

hi cece my beloved soulmate!!!!

i believe phd (post holiday depression) is a thing, i get it every time. it’s sad that your friend has gone home, but think about august!!! that should be so fun!!!

i’ve seen pictures of tuscany and it’s so beautiful!! and yes tattoos!! the fact that they are irish dinosaurs named saoirse and niamh because you met in ireland is the cutest story behind a matching tattoo ever 🥺🥺

oh rome!!!! that weather sounds lovely, i’m glad it was around for the entire trip!! sounds like you got up to quite a lot!! i’m literally imagining you walking around and pointing out these little tourist attractions 🥺 but ostia antica sounds so beautiful. a whole 84 acres to explore and experience the ancient roman life?? i would go crazy in there, especially with all the cats!!

oh the food sounds incredible!!! it’s so amazing you found something good and cheap!!! but those people sound so nice 🥹🥹 i’m glad they also added to such a wonderful break you had! i feel like pasta now…

you definitely needed that trip!! just a refresh is sometimes all you need, and good food and wine are recommended to help relax by doctors actually 😌😌😌 but i’m so happy you got to see your friend after so long and i’m so glad that you enjoyed yourself!!!!

i’ve been doing alright!! i had my trip to sydney and my twice concert, and it was so much more fun than i thought it would be!!! so i took my best friend and a family friend of mine, and my manager from work came too, but we all booked our concert tickets together so it was me and my friends, my manager and her brother and his partner. (don’t even ask me how stressful buying six tickets was)

the japanese place opened up again, and we were staying somewhere even closer to it. we basically walked everywhere, because the train station is in the shopping centre next to the japanese place, and that was only ten minutes away. so i took my friends to eat more ramen than we could see and we shared a bottle of soju (my friends are lightweights and it was VERY funny to watch. i had to finish the bottle off though)

and then we did lots of activities on the tuesday before the concert and we went to that album shop and book shop again and i spent way too much money, cece’s orders 😌😌 i spent so much money in the album shop they gave me a free album and preorder benefit photocards (which are really rare!!) and i had to show my id in the book store because i bought a level one restricted novel (actually banned in my state, but my professors made me too curious), which was quite funny

the twice concert was so fun, literally everyone in the audience were dancing and singing, and i was gay panicking and it was wonderful! each of the members of twice also had a solo performance and they did so well! one of them, momo, had this dance where she HAD A POLE?!?!? AND SHE HAD NEVER POLE DANCED BEFORE?? she was so good, i will save your eardrums by not sending the video i took 😌

anyways, here’s the photo they posted at the end!! we are in the centre and slightly to the right <3 (i’m sure you’ll see me 😂😂)

and then we actually got the chance to go to the harbour bridge and the opera house, which are in the same place, so we didn’t waste too much time there! and then we went to this room of claw machines near the eateries and i managed to win two things!! (one of them i spent way too much money to grab out, but he looked so lonely and i had to get my son out 😭😭) and then we had gelato mochi, which my friend found. so they get a scoop of ice cream and wrap it with mochi! we all got two, because none of us can make a decision and it really was a good end to the trip 🥺

other than that, i am running a little behind on uni, but i decided to use some of my leave and take the week off work. i’m just going to smash out the essays i have due (and overdue) and i’ll probably be able to rest better during the big exam session 😌

i’ve been looking forward to seeing these two and you didn’t disappoint! the rainbow one is adorable and the font for the script on your ribs is beautiful!!! i think i might be addicted to your tattoo addiction 😂 (yay!!! i’m so excited!!)

i really wanted this cacio e pepe, all this talking of food made me hungry! i’m squeezing you back real tight and i’m giving you a bowl of ramen <3333333

[landoncrris]

heyyy love your imagines. Can you maybe do like something where Mason respects her wishes to wait until they’re married and like just some cute first time smut bc she’s super nervous and a bit insecure on their wedding night? It’s super cold and I need some cute husband!Mason smut content to warm me up lmaoooo thank you ily!!!! Xxx

thanks anon!! ily hope this makes up for the long wait<3 (even tho i hate this but we’ll move)

everlasting memories - mason mount x reader

REQUESTS ARE OPEN // MASTERLIST

warnings: english is not my first language, not proofread; 18+ minors dni, unprotected sex, virgin!reader, praise kink, fingering, thigh riding

word count: 4.5k

“I love you so much.” Mason said before pressing a passionate kiss to your lips as his hands gripped your waist, feeling the soft fabric of your wedding dress under his fingertips.

“I love you.” you mumbled after the kiss had ended, leaning your forehead against his and enjoying the last moments of your wedding day. Marrying the only man you’ve ever loved felt absolutely surreal. From getting lost in his beautiful brown eyes during your vows to having one last dance together that only the two of you could experience.

If Mason wasn’t sure before that you were the one, the love of his life, the one he wanted to spend every single moment of his life with, he certainly was now. Nothing in his life has ever made him as happy as the sight of you walking down the aisle, looking as stunning as ever, while your eyes lit up the whole room and all he could focus on was you. The love he felt for you only grew over the last few years of your relationship and never stopped doing so, making him feel like crying and bursting with happiness at the same time because he loved you so much.

“You are the best thing that has ever happened to me.” Mason whispered, pressing a kiss to your lips, all the while looking into your eyes and feeling himself getting lost in the gorgeous way the different colours in them combined and created the most beautiful colour. At his words, your lips twisted into a smile before you nestled your face into the crook of his neck, breathing in his scent.

In his mind, your whole future life played out in a frenzy, from waking up tomorrow morning when he could finally call you his wife, to all the other mornings you’d spend together in each other’s embrace. To your children running around the house, playing tag with your dogs. To buying an even bigger house that your whole family will fit into. To celebrating all your upcoming birthdays together and supporting him at every game he plays. To getting older, looking at old photo albums with your grandchildren and wondering where the time went. He just wanted it all with you, wanted to be with you forever. Even if eternity wasn’t even enough time with you.

His thoughts made a laugh escape his lips and his breath fanned the side of your head. “I know I’ve said it about a thousand times today, but I really love you, Y/N.”

“I don’t mind you saying it a few times more.” you murmured, pulling your face away from his neck and placing your hands on either side of his face, pulling him closer to you, sliding your lips over his in a loving kiss.

“Shall we go home?” you asked, knowing if you’d stay longer, it’d be too late to sleep at all, something you desperately needed after the stressful but exciting hours today. You couldn’t stop a lump from forming in your throat as he nodded, knowing that this was your wedding night, the night you had been waiting for all your life, which made it even more stressful. Distracting yourself and collecting your thoughts was one of the reasons you wanted to have one last dance with Mason without feeling pressured by the situation and instead just feel his love enveloping you like a bubble.

But that didn’t change the fact that you were glad that you waited until marriage because you didn’t want to be tested, you wanted to wait until you found true love. And you did. You were one-hundred percent sure Mason was the one, and experiencing that memory with him as your first was a dream come true. Especially considering how understanding he was of your decision and how long he waited, which proved to you even more that he was in love with you and that there would never be anyone like him for you again.

You were very nervous on the drive home, and even though you knew it was bullshit, you couldn’t help but think that you would disappoint Mason. What if, after all this time together, your body looked or felt different from what he had imagined? What if he didn’t think you were beautiful anymore? What if you embarrassed yourself? What if all these things made him regret his decision to wait and wish he hadn’t wasted his time with you in the first place?

A few minutes into the drive, after telling the driver your address and checking his phone to answer a few messages from friends and relatives, some of whom sent him pictures of the two of you, which he showed you each time, he realised that your mind was elsewhere. Mason put his phone away, grabbed your hand and kissed your head that was resting on his shoulder. In the remaining time until you were finally home, he tried to calm you down by talking about today, making fun of Declan’s bad dancing most of the time.

When the car came to a stop in front of your house, you got out, being careful not to ruin your dress, while Mason thanked the driver. As he got out too, you were already unlocking the door. “Wait!” shouted Mason, bringing you to a halt as he walked towards you with quick movements. The moment he got to you, he lifted you up bridal style, eliciting a squeal from you and making you laugh, which instantly warmed his heart.

You clung to him as he ushered you both inside, slamming the door shut with his heel before walking towards the bedroom and setting you down on the foot of the bed. Mason pressed a kiss to your cheek before kneeling down and taking off your shoes, brushing his fingers over your ankle, sending goosebumps down your legs. “Can you open the dress, please?”

“Of course, love, come on, get up.” replied Mason, standing up himself and taking your hands to help you up as well. As soon as you were on your feet - finally feeling them again after walking around in high heels all day - you turned around and gave him the opportunity to undo the button that held your dress together at the back.

Mason pressed a kiss to your shoulder and noticed how you nervously took a breath and held the top of your dress because you didn’t want it to show any more skin. “You know, we don’t have to do this.” he told you and kissed you on the cheek, whereupon you turned around and smiled at him.

“No i want to. I’ve waited long enough.” you assured him, whereupon he nodded and kissed the bridge of your nose. “Just give me a moment. Promise i won’t be long.”

“Take all the time you need. I’m not going anywhere.” he said, walking around you and settling down where you were sitting moments ago. He savored the sight of you in your wedding dress one last time as you walked away, smiling to himself as you made him happier than ever.

Once you had closed the bathroom door behind you, you leaned against it, looking at yourself in the mirror and taking in a deep breath. You were nervous before, but now it was on a whole other level and you couldn’t quite place your feelings. All you knew was that you were scared and very excited at the same time. After you had just breathed for a while and relaxed a little, you went to the counter where you had already put your clothes for tonight.

You quickly took off your dress, hung it carefully on a hanger over the shower door, deciding to take care of it later, and put on your matching bra and an oversized shirt. Because you didn’t want to be half-naked right from the start, dressed only in your panties. After that, you thought it be best to brush your teeth too, afraid you might have bad breath, even though that was silly since you’d already kissed Mason a thousand times. But it helped to calm your mind a little.Then you took off your make-up and tried to convince yourself that it couldn’t be a bad first time because it was with him.

As you opened the bathroom door, his head lifted, from where it was thrown back while staring at the ceiling. You noticed that he had changed a little himself, already taken off his blazer and shoes while his tie hung loosely around his neck. Making him look as handsome as ever.

“Come here.” he mumbled with a smile on his face when he saw his shirt on your body. His words made you walk towards him, who was also standing up to put his hands on your waist and kiss your forehead easier.

“What do I have to do?” you asked nervously, just before his lips could meet yours. Your words elicited a breathy laugh from him and another kiss on your forehead as his warm hands stroked your back.

“You don’t have to do anything, baby. Just relax, yeah? This is about you.” Mason replied softly as his hand moved to your cheek, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear before he placed a kiss on your lips. “Okey.” you nodded before kissing him again.

“Do you trust me?”

“I do.” your choice of words made him smile. He picked you up easily and laid you on the bed so that your head was on the pillows, hair sprawled over them.

“I can’t believe I can call you my wife now.” he didn’t give you time to reply and instead kissed you tenderly, “You’re my favorite person ever, Y/N.” the kiss turned into a clash of teeth as neither of you could hide the wide grin that settled on your lips.

“And you are my favourite person.” you murmured between kisses as your hands ran through the soft strands of his hair. His words and kisses calmed your mind a little and let you concentrate completely on him. Your kisses became more passionate by the second and the only thing you could hear was Mason’s breathing and the sound of the rain pattering down on your balcony, creating a chill atmosphere in the room.

“Mrs Mount.” he whispered casually against your lips, which made you both laugh as he waited what felt like an eternity to finally call you that. “Sounds nice, doesn’t it?”

“So nice it might be my new favourite nickname for you.” eliciting another giggle from you as you kissed his temple while he traced kisses from the corner of your mouth down to your neck. Mason continued to gently kiss the skin of your neck as his hands tentatively moved under your shirt and caressed the skin of your stomach. His touch made the nervous pit of your stomach resurface, which he noticed immediately by the change in your breathing and the way your muscles tensed.

“What's wrong?” he punctuated with a kiss on your cheek and took his hands from your stomach, holding himself up with one hand and holding your cheek with the other. At his words you just shrugged, causing him to move his head down slightly to meet your gaze, “Tell me, love.”

“I don’t want to disappoint you.” frown evident on his face as you looked at him, eyes full of concern and confusion at the same time. “What do you mean, disappoint me?”

“Like— ugh. I mean, you could have anyone you want and you might find out I’m not good enough for you. Or what if you don’t find me attractive or-”

“Y/N.” The serious tone in his voice made you pause mid-sentence and sending him an apologetic look. “Listen. First of all, I’ve seen you in your underwear before and I can assure you that you are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. No matter what you’re wearing, if you just woke up with messy hair, or if you have food between your teeth."

His words made you grin, kissing his hand that was still on your cheek, the thumb stroking your skin and sending a shiver down your spine. “I love you. You’re absolutely gorgeous to me.”

“But I’m not one of those Instagram models and I don’t have a perfect body..."

“But even these imperfections are perfect. They are perfect because they are a part of you. Believe me when I say that you are beautiful. That for me, there is no other woman who could even begin to compare to you. I mean, why do you think I married you?”

“My good cooking?”

“Well, that and the fact that I can beat you in every single video game there is.” which made you laugh, the doubt slowly leaving your body from the impact of his words. You trusted him completely, whatever he did or said you would never question it.

You took a moment to observe his features, your gaze moving from his eyes to the freckles that adorned his nose, to his slightly parted and moist lips, and back to his eyes. You saw him smile as he watched your gaze intently while your fingernails scraped the back of his head, making him hum. “I love you.” you whispered, though those three words contained so much more than that and summed up all your feelings at that moment.

“And I love you.” whereupon you took his hand from your cheek and placed it back under your shirt, which made him smile and kiss your neck again as well. Although he had kissed your neck several times before, it felt different now somehow. And when he sucked lightly on one spot, brushing his teeth over it, your hips raised off the bed unintentionally and you felt like there was a little lump hanging in your throat that had to come out.

“You can take it off.” you sighed, at which he pulled back and pointed at your shirt to make sure he got it right. Nodding, you straighten up slightly as Mason pulled it over your head, leaving you in your underwear. His lips twisted into a smile at the sight of you and he thought he for sure must be the luckiest man in the world.

“I really trust you, Mase, so you have permission to do whatever you want.” your words made his smile widen as you moved your hands to his shirt, unbuttoning it and pushing it off his shoulders, revealing his perfectly defined abs. You couldn’t help but run your fingers over his six pack and the tattoos that adorned his skin, making him inhale sharply. “But tell me if something’s wrong, alright?”

“Yeah.” at which he pulled down his trousers and you gulped as you saw the bulge in his white calvins. He distracted you by kissing you, tongue gentle against yours as his hand moved to your ribcage, stroking circles on the skin. After a few moments, his fingers moved higher and slowly began to massage your breasts.

Your breathing immediately became heavier at his actions, the feel of his hands on your breasts was unsurpassed. The thought of what else he could do to made you feel like this made the anticipation in your belly rise. He too, could feel his mind going wild by the way you were reacting to his touch.

Mason released his mouth from yours, wanting to move them to where his hands were, but was stopped by you pulling him back by his hair, “Please don’t stop kissing me.” you pouted, feeling him smile against your lips as you kissed him again, not wanting to lose the feeling of safety by his lips on yours.

As his fingers probed the fabric of your bra and you arched your back to allow him access, he took this as his sign to unhook your bra. When your nipples were exposed to the fresh air, you suppressed a shiver and pulled his chest closer to feel a sense of warmth. Mason’s thumb stroked your nipple, feeling it harden under his touch, and the soft whimper that got lost in his mouth made his hips grind against yours, needing to feel some sort of relief.

Sure, you’d been turned on before, but the feeling Mason was giving you now was second to none. You felt a wet spot forming in your underwear and a tingling sensation moved all over your body, starting at your neck and moving further down. Suddenly you felt his fingers move downwards and as they touched the spot below your belly button, you squirmed and held on tighter to his hair. As your other hand moved down his back, his breathing also became heavier, from feeling your soft fingertips on his sensitive skin.

When his fingers reached the waistband of your underwear, you expected him to start touching you where you needed it the most, but instead they moved to your hips before going down your thighs. Mason wanted to drag it out as long as possible to make you feel more comfortable, but you couldn’t deny that you just wanted him to touch you, and that you felt the strange desire to be filled. All the nervousness and insecurity had long vanished thanks to his comforting words and touches.

“God, I can’t believe you’re mine.” he gulped after lifting his head and looking at you without a bra on for the first time. He ran his thumb over your nipples, already quite fascinated by how they hardened and how soft your skin felt. He ran his thumb over the moles and the various marks that adorned your skin, feeling like he was about to burst from waiting for this moment for so long. “So beautiful.”

“Such a beautiful body, Y/N.” those words made your heart flutter and a smile flit across your face. His head bent down again and kissed the valley of your breasts before he brushed his lips all over them, leaving a few soft marks. You tugged at his hair to pull him closer to your chest as his tongue circles your nipple, sucking lightly on it as his hand finally moved to your panties.

“Mason-” followed by a low moan as his thumb touched your clit. The sensation was something you’d never felt before, the fire in your body ignited and your hips bucked due to the sensitivity of your nerves. Mason continued his movements for a while, his fingers stroking your underwear and making you want more, even if you didn’t know exactly how to tell him.

“Can I take your panties off?” he asked softly, pulling back from your chest and admiring the marks he had left before looking at your face, seeing your flushed cheeks and eyes dark with lust. The sight almost made him whimper as he tried not to burst his load just by looking at you, as his last time having sex with someone had been so long ago that he felt like a teenager again who couldn’t hold it for more than ten seconds. “You don't have to ask, Mase.”

“Of course I have to, it’s your body after all.” he pressed a kiss to your lips and you smiled at his sweetness. You shivered as he hooked his fingers into your underwear and pulled them down your legs. He sat back on his knees to pull them off your ankle, giving you a perfect view of his thighs.

Mason’s gaze wandered to your pussy as he leaned over you again and licked his lips, mouth salivating at the sight. But he was pulled from his thoughts as you pulled him down for another kiss, his hand sliding back up your thighs and settling on your core, fingers running through your folds and spreading your wetness. The moment his fingers circled your clit, your body jolted and you bit down lightly on his lip. “Sorry.”

“No, it felt good.” you murmured, shaking your head.

“Yeah?” he asked, pressing down on your clit with more pressure, circling it further, making you wriggle around on the bed and hum in response. Your eyes fell close and your head rolled back as he switched from circles to left to right movements and kissed your neck again, only increasing the pleasure you felt.

You whined as his fingers left your clit, making him chuckle against your skin. Instead they came to a stop at your entrance before he slowly pushed one inside you, making you gasp at the new and strange sensation. You moaned out as he inserted another finger, filling you more with each thrust. “Does that feel good too?”

“Yes— Fuck yes, that feels so good.” crying out as his fingers settled in knuckle-deep, curling them and hitting a special spot inside you. Out of reflex, you put your hand to your mouth to stifle the sounds that escaped your lips.

“Don’t. I want to hear you, love.” he said, taking your hand away from your mouth again and guiding it to his own, kissing over your knuckles as his fingers moved inside you with perfect speed. When you opened your eyes and saw him smiling at you, you knew once again that this was the perfect moment and you wanted him now more than ever. You tried to let him know that by wiggling your hips away, which indeed made him pause and look at you with slight worry in his eyes. “You okay?”

“Yes. Just... I don’t want to wait anymore.” you murmured, seeing his eyes light up with relief that he hadn’t done anything wrong. He nodded, understanding what you meant, kissing you once on the forehead before taking off his boxers and revealing his already hard cock, from which pre-cum was already leaking.

“It might hurt a little.” he informed you and you nodded. Mason took your hand again, intertwining your fingers and using it as leverage. He began kissing you, trying to ease the possible pain as he lined up with your entrance, slowly pushing into you, whimpering because you felt so tight around him.

Halfway he came to a stop and let you get used to the feeling, which was really a strange sensation, but luckily it didn’t hurt as much as you had imagined. His lips parted from yours, panting against them. “You can move if you want to.” you told him as you wanted him to move yourself.

“It doesn’t hurt?”

“Not really.” you assured him, kissing the corner of his mouth as he slowly pulled back out before starting to thrust slowly, that still had you feeling him everywhere as he fitted just perfectly inside you.

“Fuck— you feel so good around me.” he whimpered, head fell against your forehead, and the strange feeling now turned to pleasure, moaning as you felt him inside of you completely . “Doing so well for me, Y/N.”

Occasionally he kissed your lips, which were interrupted by your moans every time. The grip you had on his hand and shoulders tightened with each of his thrusts as you felt them become more erratic, as did his breathing.

“I won’t last much longer.” he panted as his movements came to a halt, knowing that if he continued he would be a goner in seconds. “I don’t mind.” you assured him, running your hand through his hair as your breathing also got heavy.

“Really, it’s fine.” you added as he looked at you, his eyes squeezing shut again, a moan leaving his lips as you clenched around him. That finally got him to move again, and true to his words, he only needed a few more thrusts before he pulled out, tugging on himself a few times and coming on your stomach.

“Holy shit.” he moaned, before his head fell against your shoulder, his body lying limp on yours, and you continued to run your hands through his hair while the other ran over his sweaty back. It took a few moments for him to come down from his high, for his breathing to return to normal.

“Still doesn’t hurt?”

“No”

“Good.” head lifting after mumbling the words into your shoulder, he turned around and sat up, his back against the headboard, making you look at him questioningly. “Come here.” he said, patting his thigh, to which you sat down on his lap.

“What are you doing?” you asked him as he shifted your position, making you straddle only his thigh. “What, did you think I was just going to leave you like that?” he said and you shrugged your shoulders as he pretended to be hurt by your reaction.

“Thought you’d think more of me, love... I want you to ride my thigh.” the line between your eyebrows increased, making it clear that you had no idea what he was talking about. He then grabbed your hips, guiding you further down and making you grind against his thigh, your breathing hitching at the sensation. “Like that.”

“Mason” you whined, head dropping against his shoulder as the feel of his bare thigh against your pussy sent you straight to heaven. “That’s it, baby.” those words turned you on even more as you grinded down against his thigh yourself now. Quickly you were a whimpering mess on top of him, your nails digging into his arm as your movements came to a halt from sheer hypersensitivity.

Mason then helped you again by also moving your hips back and forth. As he tightened the muscle in his thigh, you moaned out loudly and felt something build up in your stomach, making the feeling even more intense. It went on like that for a while as Mason whispered soothing words in your ear from time to time and kissed your neck.

“Mase— Oh my god.” movements came to a halt again, not knowing if the feeling of your approaching climax made you want to continue or stop. “It’s okay, Y/N, just let go.” whispered Mason, guiding your hips with his hands as the knot in your stomach threatened to burst.

You cried out as you came suddenly, feeling like you were about to pass out because it was the first time you had experienced something so intense. It felt like fireworks were exploding throughout your whole body as you moaned Mason’s name over and over like a prayer, no longer in control of your body. “Good girl.”

“Sorry I didn’t last that long.” Mason said after you had come down from your high again, lifting your head, looking him in the eye and sending him a soft smile. “It’s okay, it was perfect. Better than I could have ever imagined.” you mumbled, feeling his hand on your cheek as you spoke, keeping an intense gaze on your tired figure.

“It was perfect for me too. I love you.” he replied with a kiss on your nose, which scrunched up adorably. “Come on, let’s get you cleaned up.” making you pout, holding him down by the shoulders so he wouldn’t get up.

“We’re not done yet.”