#my two pence

[realkaijuhavecurves]

New concept for Gävlebocken/The Swedish Christmas Goat in Gävle:

Something along the lines of 2023, where the goat was naturally worn down (eaten) by birds. Make the goat biodegradable in some way that benefits the local wildlife and looks cool/eye-catching.

In that way, also acknowledging that the farming practices that produced the straw which made up the preceding goats are outdated and incompatible with climate change and the switch to a sustainable society.

[bottlesandbarricades]

While we're on the subject of ✨the fandom✨ may I just say that it has such weird vibes at the moment that I honestly triple-check my posts before posting. Rewatching bits of the show and looking up stuff in the books to make sure the things I am making jokes about are perfectly accurate because I am honestly petrified that I am going to get dog piled into the next century for miss remembering something.

I literally avoid making joke posts about certain characters because I don't want receive the essay equivalent of being killed in the street

[hotpocketmakemehappy]

what I think is really interesting in your translation in your piece is that it actually mimics how these translations often are: a bit wrong. I know you don't mean it but your vietnamese translations is a bit off, but vietnamese line in the sign you posted are also a bit off. that's what I normally see in these racism signs too, I don't exactly know if it's just vietnamese cause our language can be quite hard or is it because all these signs are also put up and written by people who don't speak the language or don't respect these groups enough to get a proper translation. so actually, despite the accidental funny translations, I think you actually reflect quite well what these signs are like in the wild and how they make immigrant groups feel.

Instead of "live laugh love" or "home is where the heart is" my (wonderful, progressive, very accepting) dad put up the racism sign in the foyer

[conkers-thecosy]

Not to be That Guy, but I've noticed a lot of posts floating about lately with a certain disdain for fanfic readers, in respect of "not interacting with fanfiction the right way" and I just really wanted to say that as a fic writer myself, it kind of bothers me.

Like, I understand that it can be frustrating when you work hard at writing a fic and don't get the response you're after, but these reams of rules and complaints are genuinely just going to kill positive interaction entirely. It's going to make folks scared to say or do the wrong thing, so they won't leave comments or share or drop a kudos in case they offend someone.

And who can blame them, really? The tone of some of these posts... it's very "fanfic authors don't owe readers anything" and like?? Sure, I guess??? But that's pretty unpleasant aside from anything else, don't you think?

You can air a grievance, of course you can, but let's not make sweeping statements, be hostile, or make demands of people.

We're all here to have fun and share our love of whatever source material. Maybe instead of focusing on the things and people that annoy you, try showing and sharing your appreciation with those that are as excited as you are.

Trust me, fandom is way more fun like that.

[danwhobrowses]

Since it's being brought up a bit again - at least from what I've seen - in the Critical Role fandom I'm just gonna vent some stuff about C3 mainly regarding the indecision of the god stuff. I will point out beforehand however that I still really enjoy C3, I love the characters, I like getting lore even from the gods and there's been a lot of great moments, but there are of course frustrations as there has likely been with every campaign

Spoilers just in case, up to 109 and a small 10th Oct 4SD mention

Okay so, the whole god stuff has been done a lot this campaign. I understand why Matt pushed it because it is a grand scale situation where a 'right answer' can differ from person to person, and I'm fine with the fact that there are members of the Hells who don't like the gods, because it's realistic that people who grew up differently would feel differently about these kinds of topics. But with us nearing 110 episodes, I am frustrated with how we're continually entertaining the idea of just doing Ludinus' plan after killing him, mainly in order to chase the pantheon away whether they want to leave or not, we've done the 'Is Ludinus right?' 'No he should be stopped' loop a lot of times now, to me this is just another flavour of that and while we have seen the gods do some shady stuff, I still don't buy the idea that them leaving will fix anything, let alone using a god eater entity to do it.

What frustrates me currently about this is that the Hells seem quite in unison that Ludinus should be stopped, they won't sacrifice one another, and that the gods shouldn't die, but for some reason these three valid points don't get focused on when deliberating the presented options of releasing Predathos. On 4SD Robbie got struck by a moment of clarity when asked how Dorian - notably on the anti-God side of things - feels about potentially sacrificing his friends Fearne and/or Imogen in an effort to make them - despite their preference to not be - a vessel of Predathos, and while it's perfectly fine that they suddenly realised this it does show that the majority of the Hells are experiencing a bit of tunnel vision and focusing on their ideal outcome rather than a compromise they can all unite on. It's not that it's bad to try and unearth more information about the unknown factors, but his reaction makes it apparent that the right questions still aren't being asked to the group;

"Are you willing to sacrifice Fearne and/or Imogen?"

"Are you okay with being just as bad as Ludinus and Zathuda by doing what they plan(ned) to do?"

"Is this what FCG sacrificed himself for?"

If any of the Hells - minus Braius since he doesn't know the group so well - would answer Yes to these I'd be shocked and honestly feel a little betrayed, because it's not in any of their established characters to do that. Believing that they'd answer No to all however bodes the question of why we're even considering releasing Predathos?

The whole plan has so many reasons it should've been shut down already, which is why I personally don't enjoy them talking about it as an option; not just because of the many unknown factors regarding vessels and Predathos, or the fact that Orym and Imogen know just how all-consuming Predathos' pull is, or because it'd mean betraying their allies in the Accords, or because it means risking one or two of their own, or because there's no plan for what comes after by any party, or because we've seen how at the mercy of Predathos' power all Ruidusborns have been both at the Key and on Ruidus itself, or even that the Matron's suggestion that Love - which while unlimited in individual willpower is not omnipotent - will allow the Vessel to subdue Predathos is a limp argument because unlike the previous Death God who allowed the Matron to usurp them Predathos very clearly doesn't want to be contained. All those reasons should've killed the idea anyway but one of the big and more personal reasons the Hells shouldn't be doing it is because releasing Predathos would vindicate Ludinus. All the horrible things he's done and all the people who he has let die all for the plan, the very things the Hells have tried to hold him responsible for would be justified by completing his plan, regardless of whether he lives to see it. Plus the encounter with the Matron once again reiterates that there will be gods who won't run, that some will choose oblivion fighting for this world over abandoning it. Since the Hells don't want the gods to die - including Ashton and Dorian, who want them to leave or at the least be accountable for their actions - releasing Predathos should be nixed here too. As a last resort it is valid but only as a last resort, when all better options - and that is a long list - have failed.

I understand that the table enjoy tough decisions and conflict, and that the majority of them are not in the same mind as the characters they are playing when it comes to the gods, and to reiterate the God lore has been juicy - I loved Downfall - but we are over two thirds through the usual lifespan of a campaign now and the group isn't even locked in on what they should do! I know others want it but I don't believe that a big PVP or an argumentative shouting contest is needed so close to the final arc either, it'd only risk breaking the group apart at a key moment, but at the same time it does need to be addressed to find a point of unison again, and discuss what outcome the characters can live with - what can be abided and compromised on and what cannot.

Matt has been vague with a lot of things this campaign and while in some cases that provides wiggle room for autonomy, exploration and creativity, it also means that when the god topic comes about we tend to go in circles, because everything is still vague and unclear. It doesn't help either that the way Matt has crafted god encounters so far have the ones who want to fight for Exandria either not contacting the Hells - seriously the Stormlord must be frothing to speak with Imogen right? How much more fighting does she need to do? - or in the Wildmother's case are only speaking to people they know won't argue or debate with them. It's kinda apparent that no god so far is truly humbling themselves right now; even the Matron and Arch Heart felt the need to test the Hells before presenting their stance on the situation to them, which is equally frustrating given that they need their help - plus given how the two are conspiring against the others, and Asmodeus is trying to deceive Braius, not even the gods are in unison about an end goal...but still have the audacity to let Lolth rip through Opal's memories and personality and kill Cyrus for the sake of maintaining their truce.

It is easy to point fingers from this side of the fence though, Matt is but one man and he has taken on a massive social and theological argument upon his shoulders which hits very close to home for many communities, but while there is intrigue on what the solution could be it does at times feel like we're pushing only the bad options. For instance, before the Arch Heart visit the plan seemed to be set that we stop Predathos from being unleashed, the Hells were content with it and we got all parties present in Vassalheim to agree to it too. This felt like and still feels like the best course of action because it achieves all 3 united points the Hells have while also preventing more needless bloodshed and establishing diplomatic relations with the now liberated people of Ruidus, it's not easy but it's the path of least unknowns, so why doesn't it feel like it's the prioritized plan anymore? Gods like the Arch Heart don't need Predathos to leave, it's just an excuse they're weaponizing to force the others to be as cowardly as them while also avoiding accountability as Predathos and whoever releases them are left with the blame. But, providing that Predathos remains sealed and new measures are put in place to perhaps further confine and banish it so a repeat doesn't occur, there's no stopping them from just stepping down, passing on their domain to another or simply releasing it back to where it initially came from, while also just chilling in a place close to their family - that still feels like it's possible. But at the same time, their followers are owed an explanation, whether the gods want to stay or leave they should be held accountable for their position and current stance, as well as their absence and/or selfishness, and they can't expect to just run or hide away from criticism for making such a call. Whatever the outcome Exandria cannot go back to how it was, the events of C3 has shaken Exandria to its very core and a new paradigm and direction will need to be taken to create a better tomorrow both mortals and gods alike envision for it, but you can't rebuild or improve things by being absent or by holding a gun to someone else's head, and it can't do either if nobody can agree on anything. Indecision and division has allowed Ludinus to get this far, even when that was spelled out everyone still seems to be falling for that same trap, which is why it taking so long to reach a decision grows more concerning the closer we get to having to fight him on Ruidus one last time.

On top of all this, the indecision isn't the be all and end all to the plot as a whole, deciding on a path doesn't mean the path will not have obstacles or go exactly to plan (when has it ever?) it just means you know where your A to B is, if the Hells decide on what path they take there is still an absolute wealth of things outside of Ruidus still needing to be done too; amassing allies not currently at Vassalheim, saving Ryn wherever they are, getting some more relics, dealing with all the magical items we have to see what to use/sell/absorb, getting to the bottom of the people who were trying to capture Chetney, PopCon, telling FRIDA, Dancer, D, Milo and Joe about FCG's death, laying FCG's remains to rest since most of him is still in the bag of holding, Ashton lore in general (they passed their last Path feature level wise so we'd need a new avenue for them to get Luxon/Dunamancy lore, also can they and Fearne talk to their titan shards for Titan lore? They helped seal Predathos too, is there more to tell about their family or the Hishari? Ashton feels like a gold mine or lore that often stays untapped), Chetney/Orym paternity test, Orym owning up to what his deal with Nana was, potential follow-up stuff with the Kryn or the Unseelie (or just Yu, if we can pry them from Ghosting in Yotei), plus all the previously imprisoned criminals and monsters let loose unto the world by the solstice's undoing of magical seals.

I trust Matt and the players, and I acknowledge that their entertainment is the priority over mine as a spectator, but I'd be lying if pretended I wasn't irritated by this stuff, especially with so much exciting and creative things left that we can do that isn't going back to the 'Is Ludinus right?' argument for the umpteenth time.

[dread-doctors-apologist]

reasons sterek doesn't make sense to me

1. Derek and Stiles don't have that many scenes together, Derek tends to have more scenes with, Ethan and Aiden, Peter and Cora, Scott, Argent, or Boyd, Erica and Isaac while Stiles tens to have scenes with Scott, Lydia, Malia or his dad more

2. in these scenes they don't really get along, Derek often threatens Stiles, insults Stiles, injures Stiles or Stiles insults Derek, or there was the weird one where Stiles was gonna cut his arm off.

3. Derek dating history includes, Kate Argent, Jenifer Blake and Braeden. two of the three have attempted to kill him or people he loves, all of them are strong enough and smart enough to kill him, and potentially all of them have canonically killed people. Derek's type is dangerous women. why would he date someone he describes and 'skinny', 'defenceless' and not 'smart' enough to frame him for murder.

4. he definitely has some lasting trauma from Kate dating him as a teenager and manipulating him, chances are he's not gonna want to put anyone else in a similar position. is season two when Erica kisses him he he is shown pushing her away. and he doesn't seem okay with it, he obviously isn't comfortable with a large age gap when one of them is a literally teenager. let's not even mention the homophobic implications of having a man in his 20s dating a teenager

...

I don't mind rare pairs or shipping without chemistry, I actually encourage it but when people say that it should have been canon I have a problem

if you want to say Stiles should have a boyfriend there are characters his age who he has more chemistry with (danny, scott) or even just other character his age (Jackson, Boyd, Isaac) and same with derek.

[fred-the-dinosaur-draws]

I like and would recommend muji notebooks.

my current writing notebook is actually one of their 30 ring smart binders in a5, which ends up being like a spiral bound notebook but you can also rearrange the pages was well as taking them out.

I've also enjoyed their normal ring bound notebooks, and their bound cahiers. I like the cream paper tone. I've only used grid and plain but they do sell lined.

caveat: I don't know about prices and availability in the US. also they are very fp friendly here but I don't know if that holds for the ones sold in the US. also I do don't think they have a pure white option if you're into that. might not suit you re aesthetic without modding. but plain paper covers are easy to mod.

So anyway, I like to take notes on paper while I'm editing because it helps with the eyestrain I get from screens, and it makes my ADHD brain pay attention to them more often. Well, I just went to flip over the page and found I'd reached the end of the notebook I was using.

Okay, no problem. I'll just grab one from my stationary hoard. Except... I don't have any left. There is an empty space where a pile of notebooks used to be.

Guys, I did it! I used all the notebooks in my house.

I actually get to buy new notebooks because I need them!

[fingertipsmp3]

Reddit fountain pen drama is my favourite thing I swear to god

[nulab-2024]

There are a few posts on here about Ed Davey, leader of the Lib Dems, having a terrible voting record. People say the same about Rory Stewart, an ex-Tory, now most known for The Rest Is Politics podcast with Alastair Campbell.

I think people are too stuck on voting records. We need to remember the role of whips, and the consequences of disobeying them. Several Labour MPs, including Zarah Sultana, were recently suspended from the Labour Party for voting in favour of removing the Two-Child Benefit Cap.

While some people have supported their voting against their party, as the MPs are being true to their own beliefs or perhaps following their constituents' views, this display of division weakens parties as we saw with the Tories over Brexit, or with Labour and its split between the centre-left (Keir Starmer) and the further left (Jeremy Corbyn). This is probably why Starmer suspended his MPs - he can't afford for his party to look any weaker.

Getting themselves suspended is not going to help these rebel MPs remove the Two-Child Benefit Cap. They are now much less likely to be put in key positions under Starmer when they return, from which they could have had more of an influence on this matter and others.

While you may not agree with voting for things you believe to be wrong, you can surely see why people like Ed Davey, Rory Stewart, or even Nick Clegg felt that they had to do that. Davey and Clegg obviously did not want to raise university tuition fees - it was against what they had promised! But they had to compromise this in order for the government to continue to function and to show a strong, united front. They likely believed that it was better for the country for them to stay in power, to block as many austerity policies as they could, even if they lost on tuition fees.

I think we should be more sympathetic to UK politicians' voting records. We shouldn't write off the Lib Dems because of the coalition - coalitions are a very Liberal and very Democratic concept, where as many voices as possible are listened to, instead of just having one party in power - and this makes it clear why Nick Clegg entered the coalition, despite knowing he would have to concede things to to Tories. What do you think?

[whiskeysorrows]

Cannibalism as a metaphor for 'perverse' love is so interesting man

[ohdarlings]

i like blur and oasis and have no strong opinions about either :) im neutral like switzerland :)

[celestialhouses]

I want to start this by saying I absolutely agree from a safety and employee wellbeing standpoint - healthcare is a place where mistakes can be costly in a myriad of ways, and the people providing the care deserve to be looked after well. Also this is a very long addition so I apologise!

However, things would need to be thought out better in places like dementia and mental health care. I care for a family member who is confused all the time, and also has to go into hospital regularly. If they had four different shift changes per day, I know that they would get extremely agitated and fearful as they already don't understand what's going on around them and all of the new faces they're seeing. Hospital is really hard for them in the first place - and I know this would worsen with such frequent changes in their surroundings, especially when it comes to them trusting who is administering their medication or providing personal care. Also as their carer, I stay with them from being on the ambulance until they are through A&E and onto a ward. In this country that can take 8 or 10 hours - enough time to witness a shift change, unless you've arrived at the very start of a shift. I have to be there to communicate with the staff as my family member can't - this gets harder when shift changes happen as there are communication breakdowns (we are all human!). So I do think that better ways to communicate between shift changes must be found - because, now from my own experiences of being a patient in A&E many a time, I have had to deal with medical staff who have heard half the story and are wondering why I am there (but also some of them just did not understand eating disorders whatsoever which is a WHOLE other topic about comprehensive mental health training that should be mandatory).

From a mental health care standpoint (just want to make it clear I'm not trying to speak for everyone who has been inpatient for mental health care, as all our experiences are different!) - I only trusted a handful of staff in my ED inpatient unit, and if they had been on shift for only six hours of the day, I would have found it a lot harder. Them being there for all the main meals of the day to help me process everything that came with those meals for me helped so much, and I know it did too for a lot of the other patients (especially on harder meal plan days!). Also unfortunately there just is not the amount of staff applying for these mental health care positions (at least where I am, it could be different elsewhere) that would be able to fill the gaps caused by having more frequent shift changes. Agency staff would often fill these already existing gaps and that does impact on treatment. I did see some 6 hour shifts (e.g. 4pm-10pm to help w the transition from day to night staff) begin at my old ED ward a couple of years ago but I believe it was just a trial at that time, and I don't know how it went as I was discharged shortly after they began.

Again - I absolutely agree that healthcare workers deserve to be looked after better. They deserve longer periods of time off in between each run, as some of the care workers that help me care for my family member might work five 12 hour days straight but then only get one day off - which is ridiculous. They also deserve better access to good counselling and therapy services. It's a fucking hard job and it cannot be done effectively if they are not getting sufficient downtime. I'm not trying to say these people don't deserve to be looked after. I just do wonder what could be done for the above areas of healthcare?

6 hour workday maximum i’m not kidding, if it can’t be done in that timeframe it doesn’t need doing.

[conkers-thecosy]

You know, not to put anyone on blast over here, but sometimes when someone says something negative about whatever I'm creating, I like to remind myself that there are genuinely folks out in the world who (and stay with me here) don't like dogs.

DOGS.

They just?? Don't like them???

It baffles me.

So! My point here is that really, if there are people who don't like dogs, then you really can't please everyone, nor should you try to.

[my-chemical-rot]

Back in the states I downloaded a few supernatural episodes to watch on the plane, watched them on the plane, got re-invested in season 3, then landed in France and found out supernatural isn’t on French Netflix. so now I’m watching Sherlock season 4 instead. And for a minute I genuinely forgot there are only 3 episodes instead of 4.

[yoakkemae]

holmesdepot. { reposted for beta. }.

it didn't take a genius profiler to see what ethan was doing ( and spencer knew ethan ) , and the anger he feels bubbling up because of ethan's actions surprises him. ( he wants to punch ethan , he wants to scream , he wants to throw something because he's still trying to pick up the pieces of himself after maeve , and he knows that he would not survive it if he failed ethan too , if he had to watch ethan die -- ). the vibrancy of his anger , the violence he wants to unleash ... spencer spins around with a harsh breath in an attempt to control himself , his fists clenched and by his side , shaking.

it's not like him , he knows , but he's still brittle , still on shaky ground , still trying to reinvent himself again after the most recent loss. he knows ethan is trying to help in his own way , that he wants spencer to be confident in himself again , but ... he had used the wrong words so little time ago , has faced a failure so catastrophic that he knows he should have left when he turned thirty before any of this could have happened. maybe that would have saved maeve. ( and it's irrational , but ... maybe if his team members had taken a shot -- ).

he lets out a breath , and then another one , trying to suppress the rage. ( he can almost feel ethan's eyes on him , and spencer tries to feel shame about showing so much weakness , but ... it's ethan. there's no weakness that spencer would ever be afraid of showing him. he's already seen spencer at his worst. ).

when the anger is under control , when he's pushed an iceberg overtop of it , spencer turns back around. ( spencer can't see it , but his eyes are hollow. there is not just confidence lost ). ' you know where i am right now , ' he says quietly , voice breaking. ' and i can't ... i can't lose you. ' i can't trust myself , i can't trust them , is what goes unsaid , but they both know it ; it's why ethan is here. ... he wishes ethan could have done anything but this.

@holmesdepot

[ghostaholics]

𝐊𝐈𝐒𝐒 𝐈𝐓 𝐁𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑

➸ PAIRING: Lieutenant Simon 'Ghost' Riley x gn medic!Reader (same reader from here, but this is a stand-alone) ➸ SUMMARY: You kiss Simon's very minor injuries. And then some. (Or, alternatively: He's not actually wounded. He just wants to see you.) ➸ WARNING(S): some graphic descriptions of old injuries ➸ A/N: Need to preface that this isn't smut despite how the title and summary sound. Anyways, Jo knows I listened to Hozier's Other Voices 2020 version of "Work Song" for a week straight while writing this. ➸ WC: 2k

❝ 𝐖𝐀𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐊𝐈𝐍' 𝐎𝐅 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐎𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐈𝐄𝐋𝐃, ❞ he admits, low-timbered. It feels intimate, especially coming from him. Simon's sitting on the cot; it sags under his weight. He curls his hands over the edge of it as he leans forward. No casualties post-mission means he's got free rein to pick wherever he wants in the medical tent.

"Oh, yeah? What about?"

"That I should probably do my best to avoid injuries so I don’t keep pestering you. Can always just tell me to fuck off, y’know.”

“You’re gonna break my heart if you stop coming around.

“Mm,” he says in agreement. “Can’t have that can we?”

You nod your head earnestly. “I like your company.”

“Tryin’ to say that you’ll miss me?”

“I would.” More than he knows.

It’s routine now. He gives you just enough room, adjusting his position. You step into the space made between Simon’s splayed knees, his massive legs nearly bracketing yours with how close they are. He’s bigger than you. Well, considerably more mammoth-like in his proportions compared to an overwhelming majority of the soldiers that you’ve encountered, to be quite honest.

Simon acts as though he’s acutely aware of his size. You suspect that he purposefully makes himself smaller in your presence. Like now, how his shoulders are rounded forward, the column of his spine not as straight-arrow in that standard, militaristic posture most servicemen have adopted. As if he doesn’t want to appear too intimidating. Not that Simon could, to you. Hours doing his stitches and idle chitchat on your part have taught you that he’s much less ruthless than people seem to paint him as. But you appreciate the thought anyway.

You conduct the assessment – a typical evaluation normal for combat casualty care, more in-depth than the one you’d done when he initially stopped by and you did a quick once-over for any obvious injuries. Though given the complete vacancy in the medical tent, you find it hard to believe that you’ll come across anything on him since the mission went that smoothly.

The first thing you notice this time: he doesn't smell like spilled blood. It's different. Not that sweet, rusted iron of wet tackiness – the one that reminds you of a generous stack of two pence coins held between a pair of hands cupped together. He comes in that way a lot. Reeks, because war means that he's no stranger to charging through a shower of copper and lead-forged bullets out on the field. Everything else is still there, though. Maybe a dying campfire – crackling logs and blackened earth. Soft dirt excavated from a foxhole for cover while under enemy fire. All gunpowder and Marlboro Lights and diesel-fuel smoke. Fresh rain and a blue-violet sky after a storm. Victory without consequence.

You'd breathe it in if you could, pull the collar of his jacket up to your face. At this proximity, it’d be easy.

He drops the act when he’s in front of you. Lieutenant. Ghost. Battle-hardened, gruff. A natural-born leader. The kind of person to rip this world apart brick by brick – scraped up palms clutching onto broken pieces – to make sure that the plan is executed accordingly, no matter the cost. It’s hard for him to shed that layer. A drop in the bucket of information that you’ve gathered about this man.

You’ve seen him at his best. But you know him at his worst.

The laundry list of injuries over the years: blows to his torso and his back and his limbs that were brighter than technicolor – purples and reds and sickly yellow-green shades – deep, blotchy medals of violence decorating his skin like some kind of fucked-up kaleidoscope that was nothing to be proud of; when some bastard drove a knife right into his upper thigh, that dirty blade wedged through tissue and muscle which was sure as hell going to induce the nastiest infection without serious TLC and a tetanus shot; rib fractures 7-9 because he aborted an exploding heli, seconds to spare before landing on his side wrong from a height that was equivalent to three stories tall; old GSWs dotting his body the same way you’d shove push pins into a paper-flimsy map to mark the places you’ve been to.

And then there’s no contest for the top contender. 𝐆𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐭'𝐬 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐈𝐧𝐣𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐭 #𝟏: when he was rushed in on a stretcher, barely clinging to life. Lower abdomen shredded by exploding shrapnel. He was outside of the window of opportunity. Too far beyond that golden hour, so his chances of surviving plummeted to a single-digit percent.

He’s more than just a patchwork of scars. There’s a complex person underneath the surface. A miracle in the flesh to have toughed it out through all of that. Resilient. Perpetual. His callsign makes sense. Ghosts really do live forever.

Several seconds pass before you speak again. It’s a silly comment, teasing – poking fun at him. You don’t have any reservations when it comes to picking on Simon; he’s good about taking these things in stride. Funny, actually. He’s got a dry sense of humor. “I think… you like the idea of someone taking care of you.”

His response isn’t immediate. It’s delayed, said with intention. He doesn’t ever waste words. “Not just anybody.”

You nearly reel back at that. Warmth floods your face. You aren’t quite sure what to say, didn’t expect it. So you let the comment hang in the air between the two of you, busying your hands with slipping off his tac vest, triple-checking for hidden wounds, doing anything to keep yourself occupied while you stand this close to him in the wake of that remark. You’re engrossed in your work, in search of a distraction.

(He’s a distraction, isn’t he?)

And then your eyes stop in their scan. Right there: a small nick on the exposed sliver of skin between his glove and sleeve – open to the direct path of some wayward debris that happened to graze him. So tiny. You’ve seen paper cuts more harrowing than this – wouldn’t have even registered on your radar, especially if it’s being dwarfed by other critical wounds that hold decisive sway over somebody’s fate when it comes to your average life-or-death scenario.

Of course, you take your job very seriously.

You feign a sharp inhale. “Ah,” you say solemnly, guiding his arm up to your face for a closer look. “Found your problem.”

“I’ve got a problem,” he echoes, voice laced with amusement.

“See, you came to the right place. Anybody else would’ve missed it.”

“The verdict, then?”

“So terrible. Earth-shattering, in fact—”

Simon starts pulling away. “Alright, that’s enough of you takin’ the piss outta me,” he gripes.

You chase his arm to recapture it into your grasp. “Wait!” you say, huffing out a laugh. Your mouth sprouts into a wide grin that makes him roll his eyes.

“You gonna treat me or what?”

Your humor bubbles away as you come back to your senses. Those once-loud peals of laughter start to die down when you take his question into consideration. Because there’s really nothing for you to do; he doesn’t need you.

The realization is slow-moving. It washes over you, rolls like waves as you finally begin to sober up.

Simon wants to be here, and he’s looking for any excuse to stay. He just can’t find the courage to own up to it.

“I dunno. Might be unconventional,” you throw out casually, playing along. “Risky, maybe – never been done before.”

But he’s undeterred. “Sure. Whatever you gotta do.”

You pause for a beat, fingers still wrapped around his forearm because you haven’t managed to let go yet. His skin is warm under your palm. You’re not sure what exactly possesses you to do it – emboldened by his encouragement, given complete carte blanche; he’s leaving this to your discretion. So you press your lips to that area where the cut is, right over his pulse point. If you had lingered for longer, you probably would’ve been able to feel it thudding, that solid rhythm and easy strength reminding you he’s alive.

You expected him to withdraw his arm in bewilderment. He should’ve kicked up a fuss about you violating his boundaries, should’ve told you that you overstepped. Something, right?

But he doesn’t do any of that. Simon’s studying you. Dark pupils. So chasm-deep that the ground beneath your feet might slip away. Ocean trenches, midnight-black like the charcoal smudged around his eyes. When they land on you, his gaze goes molasses-soft. He’s fond; there’s little room for doubt. The way he looks at you says everything. None of that usual coldness he harbors during an op. Instead, relaxed and more human than you’re used to seeing – all of his attention focused solely on you.

“Where else, Simon?” you whisper.

He’s thinking – carefully weighing his options – the same expression that he gets when a crossroads lies ahead of him and he knows his make-it-or-break-it decision will invariably affect the outcome of a mission.

After several moments, his hand comes up. Simon’s fingers curl underneath the hem of his mask; he’s been wearing the fabric balaclava more often since you’ve fixed the stitching on it. Then he lifts – not the entire way. Just to reveal the bottom half of his face. There he is. Sandpaper-rough stubble. The sharp cut of his jaw. A mouth that you’re convinced wears a scowl 24/7 behind his mask but is now slightly twitched up.

Even though you’ve seen it before, the sight of him never fails to steal your breath away. Feels like meeting him for the first time again. With how rarely he does this, it might as well be – that slow, heart-melting sensation is steadily filling the cavern of your chest.

And you lean in. Your lips brush against his; it’s a chaste thing – the kiss – if it can be called that. Gentle. Like how you’d stitch up his wounds with a light touch and kind intent. He’s built of sterner stuff, but if there’s anything you’ve learned about him, it’s that he’s capable of breaking just as easily as everyone else. You always handle Simon with care: unequivocal compassion and empathy when there’s so little of those left on this side of war – privileges that he’s never taken for granted.

“Better?” you ask quietly, tipping your head in question.

Simon hums his approval – this pleased, low sound in his throat. His hand slides across your lower back. He tugs you towards him. “Wouldn’t mind some more attention,” he murmurs, before slotting his mouth over yours. And then he kisses you like it might heal him from the outside in.