#my thing is sort of that like...i've both read her books and watched her in her guest spots on documentaries

[fideidefenswhore]

was surprised to see AL get some votes here, but i’ll try to post more quotes from her

[txttletale]

hey what DO you watch on youtube? seems like you'd have some neat recommendations :3

i really loathe the like super-highly edited sound effect post-mrbeast slop most of youtube is now so i mostly like stuff that's like... calm and sedate. stuff i've been watching lately in no particular order:

northernlion vods and clips. he's an OG. i especially like his react court series, i must have watched all of them like five times.

speaking of OGs i've been watching zero puncutation (now fully ramblomatic) for like ten years and if anything it's only gotten better. best game review content on the internet. been really enjoying his more recent, slightly longer and more thoughtful 'extra punctuation/semi-ramblomatic' series too.

any austin's skyrim unemployment rate videos. instant classics to me, it's just a guy going around in skyrim trying to figure out the unemployment rate in every town. it's a very dry kind of humour, he plays it admirably straight, and it's weirdly calming.

kitten arcader's foot the bill videos. in a kind of similar vein, he watches the saw movies and then produces an itemized bill for everything jigsaw needed to buy to make his traps. it's kind of like... if cinemasins was fundamentally curious instead of fundamentally incurious, it scratches a similar sort of nitpicky detail-oriented quantifying itch but without inimical to the concept of art.

shuffle up and play. it's a magic the gathering play series that has enough editing that the gamestate is actually legible but not enough editing (or at least, not enough obtrusive in-your-face editing) that its annoying. i also like that they reguilarly play non-edh formats like cube and pauper.

spice8rack. i'm pretty picky about video essays but spice8rack has very obviously actually read books and has interesting things to say about the topics it discusses (mostly magic: the gathering). sometimes it has a kind of grating Theater Kid Energy but the fact that it actually meaningfully structures essays and analysis to earn the silly long runtimes is a rare delight from a video essayist.

jenny nicholson is a long-time favourite and another permanent fixture in my rotation. she's just extremely, remarkably funny which makes her the only 'basically just summarizing a thing' youtuber i think is worth the time of day.

i watch some sketch comedy, mainly wizards with guns and aunty donna, who both consistently put out really funny stuff that's kind of ITYSL-adjacent in its barefaced absurdism and contenmpt for concepts like "stopping a joke at the logical punchline". i also really like alasdair beckett-king and binging the old clickhole backlog for short-form comedy on youtube.

wolfeyvgc is right on the edge of the level of editing i find tolerable but as a long-time fan of multiple esports he Has It, he's absolutelyt fantastic at t elling the narrative of a tournament, explaining plays clearly, and generally making competitive pokemon esports thrilling and interesting ti someone (me) who#s never played it and doesn't care about pkoemon that much

i religously watch every elliespectacular/dathings YTP, the absolute best in the game right now, top tier snetence mixing and really good at actually setting up and paying off jokes in a way it feels like a lot of ytp doesn't. verytallbart is also pretty good.

trapperdapper is a channel i recently binged, it's a really fucking funny parody of minecraft challenge content that veers slowly from obvious angles of parody into pure absurdism with tons of blink-and-you'll miss it subtle visual gags.

too much future is a great youtube series where the two guys from just king things/homestuck made this world play through every fallout game and analyze them in that context. extremely funny and also just top-tier very sharp analysis. really good

another one of the rare good video essayists is jan misali. they're really funny and will go into topics that kind of seem narrow or strange to begin with in such depth and make them so interesting that it's consistently astonishing.

oh and finally sarah z makes pretty good videos. 'the narcissist scare' is an absolutely brilliant deconstruction of one of the most annoying pop-psych phenomena of the last couple years. and remarkably well script supervised i think did anyone else watch it and think 'wow the script supervisor on this must have been, a mind geniuse'

ok i think that's all i've been watching lately. hope you like whcihever of these recs you check out :)

[uriwoos2]

bnd with a bookworm s/o . . .· ୨𐍸୧

ꕤ overview: boynextdoor dating a bookworm! genre: fluff. warnings: none. word count: 3.1k requested: yes! ♡ note: this is one of my favorite things I've ever worked on, so I sincerely wish it turned out well >< wrote it with the help of my dearest @blumisiu and her wonderful ideas <3 so I'm dedicating this to vivi and everyone who considers themselves a bookworm! this is for u, hope you enjoy hehe^^ likes & reblogs are very appreciated! — with love, cream <3 . . . @onedoornet

⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂ ⠂⠄⠄⠂❀

sungho

𐚁๋࣭⊹ he's the type to read himself actually! but not so often that he'd consider it a hobby. he finds it to be a relaxing way to enjoy his leisure time. so when he finds out that you like reading too, he'd be absolutely thrilled!! (∩˃o˂∩)♡ beyond happy that you guys have something in common. might start reading a lot more, just so he can have stuff to talk to you about :( will probably recommend you books he has read and liked especially, wanting to know your opinions on some of his favorite books! ⊹₊˚

𐚁๋࣭⊹ you would spend lots of quiet evenings reading together <3 when you both have nothing else to do, or if you happen to have some free time, you'll both be situated on either the bed or the couch, all comfy, heads tucked into your respective books, in the shared space overcome by pleasant silence that envelopes you both. (ˆ꜆ . ̫ . ). ̫ . ꜀ˆ) ♡ the soft sound of the pages being flipped the only thing disrupting the quiet. the soft glow of the sun setting shining through the window, providing warmth.

𐚁๋࣭⊹ in such moments you and sungho would mostly settle for gentle, barely-there touches, where one of you would put your hand over the other's, letting it rest there, or tracing faint shapes on each other's thighs, and when you'd simply convey your affection through tiny smiles and eyes full of fondness, for the sake of not disturbing one another's personal bubble <3

𐚁๋࣭⊹ on occasion, when you're both up to it, you decide to do the reading outdoors! you'd go to check out new coffee shops and read while enjoying warm drinks and relish in each other's company. ⋅˚₊‧ you'd switch it up from time to time, and take your reading dates to libraries and parks^^ sungho says this allows you both to get out more, and that it's good to get some much needed sunshine! ☆૮꒰ˊᗜˋ* ꒱ა he'll also plan a day for you to visit art galleries or museums sometimes (if ur into that ^^) knowing you appreciate admiring art in all shapes and forms. he'll hold your hand as you both enjoy inspecting different exhibits and will point out the tiny details to you. he's just considerate like that :'( <3

𐚁๋࣭⊹ you both seem to favour library dates the most! you think it's probably because of the atmosphere there being so ideal for reading, the scent of books creating a sort of sanctuary, that you can escape to when you feel the need. of course, you're more than happy to take your wonderful lover with you, with whom you'd exchange lovesick giggle-inducing subtle touches of your fingertips over the table, warm palms resting on each other's thighs, all innocent and soft. you'd have to remind one another to quiet down at times, resuming to whisper silly jokes in each other's ear in hushed voices. the library seemingly exuding a certain air of romance too, apparently.. ૮ / / / ⍝ა ·˚

riwoo

𐚁๋࣭⊹ this baby is definitely the type to be more quiet and subtle with his reactions, smiling to himself whenever he spots you w a book in your hands and a concentrated look on your face, finding your habit of bringing it everywhere with you just so adorable.. </3 he'll be simply sitting there, silently watching with love in his eyes, in awe at the sight of you doing something you so dearly love 𐔌ᵔ⁔ ܸ. ̫ .⁔ ͡ 𐦯..

𐚁๋࣭⊹ he wouldn't mind at all, if you devote a big amount of your time to this hobby, as he thinks it's essential to have an outlet to release your tension through! he gets you the most, as he has his own form of escape that he indulges in quite often. riwoo's love for video games and your love for books don't make you clash, actually it's the total opposite!! it's both of you guys' favorite thing to share the same space, as you engage in your respective hobbies. the atmosphere always so harmonious and comfortable, as riwoo puts extra effort into keeping quiet, just so you can read in peace ૮₍ ˃̵͈᷄ . ˂̵͈᷅ ₎ა such a considerate lover :'( ♡

𐚁๋࣭⊹ on the weekends he'd organize cute little picnic dates for you! especially, when the weather's fine and the temperature is just right <3 he'd bring along jjangyi and daebak w him sometimes too! these instances filled with lots of laughter and fun ૮₍˃̵֊ ˂̵ ₎ა and of course, we can't forget that our boy has the biggest sweet tooth, so obviously there'll be various treats to munch on as you enjoy one another's company ^^ riwoo would totally blush so hard when you recite romantic quotes from books for him.. each of your words making his heart flutter, his demeanor visibly shy.. smiling at you giddily with rosy cheeks (◌´ ˘ `ς) he loves it so much pls </3

𐚁๋࣭⊹ as I mentioned before, riwoo will be super respectful of your reading time. he'll only occasionally pop in to softly ask if you need him to bring you anything, offering you snacks and water! >< but otherwise, he'll remain as silent as possible, not wanting to disturb you :( he might just settle next to you and lay his head in your lap as he closes his eyes, basking in the comfort of the moment.*·.˚⊹ other types of minimal skinship with him would include him idly playing with the fingers on your free hand, tucking a strand of hair that's fallen in your face back into its place, and pressing his lips to your shoulder / the top of your head as he passes past where you're situated. 。゜(՞っ ‹՞)

𐚁๋࣭⊹ riwoo gets so worried about you sometimes, and won't hold back on confronting you about paying more attention to your health! >:( will scold you if you stay up late to read, constantly emphasizing the importance of sleep. might also comment on your bad posture, as he delicately traces the line of your spine to ease the tension in your back. ૮(*´. . ) he'll also keep reminding you not to read in the dark, to avoid straining your eyes.. but besides just being fussy, he'll express his care through subtle acts of service^^ he'll put on some calm backround music if you're fine w that, clean your glasses for you (if you wear some) and leave silly little love notes in your books, just to make you giggle once you've found them. </3 he's the best really.... (ㅅ´ ˘ `)♡

jaehyun

𐚁๋࣭⊹ he's the embodiment of a super clingy boyfie, who's curious about everything you do! and your love for books certainly doesn't slip past him ^^ he finds it so very fascinating that you're able to occupy yourself for so long just reading words... on a piece of paper.. ₍ᐡ-᷅ ·̫ -᷄ᐡ₎? he actually thinks it's a really great skill, and he admires you immensely for it! I don't see him as the type to read, although he'd probably give it a try for your sake, to see what has you so entertained for hours on end!! ><

𐚁๋࣭⊹ but that won't really go far I fear.. after a couple of attempts, he says he'll just go back to his comics/manga.. (he's so totally the type to collect and read them hehe) might offer you try out his stuff too, but in the end you guys would probably decide to just stick to your own interests. ^^

𐚁๋࣭⊹ however! this doesn't mean jaehyun wouldn't absolutely adore being dragged to bookstores and book fairs, loving how excited you get over them!! ✩₊˚ he'd bring a bag with water bottles, snacks and a camera! you guys would probably go for a walk in the park afterwards, to eat and rest after a tiring day of browsing.. he'd pick delicate little flowers and put them in your hair prettily, secretly plotting to take lots of pictures of you like this (◠ﾵ ◠υ)♡ he has to put the camera to use after all!! ^^ he'll take on the responsibility to ensure your day goes perfectly, so that you're able to enjoy the experience to it's full potential! oh, how sweet he is,, please </3

𐚁๋࣭⊹ remember how I said he's clingy?? cuz I mean that with my entire being. he totally loves watching you do your own thing, don't get me wrong, his cheeks will get tired from smiling after staring at you for so long! :( but. he needs your attention too! he wants you to focus on him sometimes, with nothing else on your mind. he's such a baby about it too.. like "૮₍ •⤙•˶ა he'll keep bothering you until he successfully gets your attention, asking you with a pout to look at him!! >< and then will proceed to trap you with his arms in the world's tightest hug, just so you can't escape. </3 he just wants his baby all to himself.. ૮ -᷄ ˕ - ᷅ა

𐚁๋࣭⊹ but who says you can't do both at the same time?.. jaehyun absolutely adores the nights when you read to him before bed. <3 you're sitting up, while jaehyun is laying with his head tucked into your side, sharing warmth under the dim glow of the nightlight. this way he's able to cuddle with you, and you can get some reading done, everyone's happy! ദ്ദി˶ｰ̀֊ｰ́ ) ✧ the lovable puppy gets so snuggly and sleepy that he'll keep yawning in-between every couple sentences you read aloud.. :'( but he'll insist that you continue! since he wants you to finish the chapter. he'll hug your waist even closer, as his eyes gradually flutter shut and he can't fight the drowsiness anymore, dozing off to dreamland... ( ु⁎ᴗ_ᴗ⁎)ु.｡when you notice that your baby's fallen asleep, a small smile tugs at your lips as you're putting down the book, pressing a soft kiss on his forehead before hugging him back and drifting off yourself. (っ˘·(˘ ᵜ ˘ ) <3

taesan

𐚁๋࣭⊹ i feel like, because he likes putting his thoughts and feelings into pretty words in order to incorporate them into his song lyrics, he'd like it a lot if his s/o also had a certain appreciation for eloquent words and such.. because, not only would this mean that you'd be able to fully grasp the meaning behind his work, but beyond that it would ensure that the both of you can understand each other's feelings well and communicate on a deeper level too. ^·^!

𐚁๋࣭⊹ another perk of this is that, he'd absolutely adore to receive handwritten letters from you!! as a an avid reader and hopeless romantic, you've always wanted to express your feelings of fondness toward your lover through this medium, but never got the chance to, until taesan.♡ he didn't make you feel odd for wanting to indulge in such an unconventional little pastime, quite the opposite actually! he would constantly be re-reading the letters, especially while away from you, tracing the lines of ink in your handwriting, thinking of you dearly.. :'( he'd keep them in the top drawer of his desk, neatly stacked, organized and well taken care of. ᨳᥩ ᪲◞ ◟)𑁬 <3

𐚁๋࣭⊹ it would always give him so much reassurance and make his heart tighten at the thought, that your love for him is unfaltering, and the letters only acted as clear evidence of that..♡ plus, he'd happily write some letters in response to your's!! he'd want to show his gratitude in some way, and he's also really into this old-fashioned way of communication, thinks it's romantic and so very intimate.. ૮( ˃ ꒳ ˂)ა ♡ˎˊ˗

𐚁๋࣭⊹ we shouldn't forget to mention that he's quite into reading himself as well! would be open to being introduced to new genres and tropes! and would most definitely listen to you go off about the book you're currently reading, actually soaking up all the details, besides just admiring your passion for the subject. I mean.. he's curious too!! ^^ <3 he'd read the books you like, in order to have something to talk with u about ! but he'll actually be really into them himself! ( ◜‿◝ )*.✧

𐚁๋࣭⊹ will definitely tag along when you go shopping for books! but most of the time you guys would actually plan the whole thing together, making it a date!! <3 it'd probably start off in a bookstore, with the both of you picking out books. sometimes you'd choose for each other and then surprise one another with them! >< the urge to read would most likely get you situated in a nearby cafe, where you'd fully immerse yourselves into your individual stories. you'd then discuss the topics explored in your books, as you hold hands on your way home. <3 such seemingly uneventful dates being your's and taesan's absolute favorite. ૮ ◜ᵕ◝ ྀིა ₊˚

leehan

𐚁๋࣭⊹ to leehan, your love for reading is one of your charming points, one of the reasons as to why he fell for you. (ˆ ̳ , ̫ , ̳ˆ)"੭ seeing you so into something that requires a lot of attention and dedication, makes him believe that you're an intricate person, somebody that's full of complexity and lots of layers, who also takes the time to grasp concepts and people thoroughly. he thinks of you very highly, respects you to no end and finds you to be the most intelligent person in his life, even if he himself isn't that well versed in literature. ૮ ․ ․ ᪲ა

𐚁๋࣭⊹ you usually tend to read at home, where you feel it's most comfortable and quiet. leehan is aware of this and doesn't really bother you, but when he sees you quietly tucked in a corner reading, all immersed in your book, he can't help but stop for a moment or two to admire your effortless beauty. >< to him, you're the most beautiful when you're doing the things you love doing, in your element and just being you. <3 after gazing at you from across the room for a bit, he'll slowly sneak up on you from the back, whispering a quiet "hey, baby." in your ear, placing a soft kiss to your neck. ૮₍ ྀི∩៸៸៸∩ ྀི₎ა

𐚁๋࣭⊹ you're so used to all this, that you know the next step will inevitably involve him finding his usual place on top of you, smoothly placing his body between your legs. he'll rest his head either on your chest or your tummy, with his arms snugly hugging your middle, asking you gently to please read aloud to him. he's just a gentle, lovesick boy.. ૮ ྀི◞͈ ˔ ◟͈ ྀིა

𐚁๋࣭⊹ truthfully, he's requesting this solely because he likes listening to you speak. he thinks your voice is the softest, and has a certain comforting tone to it. to him, it's one of the most captivating parts of you, the part that your inner beauty shines through <3 you're well aware of his hidden agenda, but he just looks so sweet with his head on your chest like this, and he's asking so nicely too.. :'( you have to give him what he wants. <3 so he lays there idly, admiring the way words take shape via your pretty voice, lips forming into a small smile, occasionally resting them on your belly in tiny, loving kisses. ( ᐡ. ̫ .ᐡ ) </3

𐚁๋࣭⊹ sometimes he'll fall asleep as you're reading to him, and other times, when he's feeling particularly invested in the story, he'll ask simple questions.. this just urges you to explain things to him in more detail, which, to leehan, ends up being way more entertaining than simply reading the book :') he likes listening to you reason and get all passionate about the subject, finding your display of intellect immensely attractive, and the glint of excitement in your eyes purely adorable. <3 <3

woonhak

𐚁๋࣭⊹ when he first discovered that you like to read, he was sort of intimidated by the fact, thinking he wouldn't be able to find common ground with you. (ˆ꜆ . ̫ . ).ᐟ but eventually he got over the initial fear, and decided to try out reading for himself!! of course the main purpose of his decision was to indulge in something his partner enjoys, in order to get closer to them, but he also wants to treat it as a chance to learn something from the experience, and grow as a person! ˎˊ˗ what a cutie he is ><

𐚁๋࣭⊹ he'll be the most adorable, excitable boy asking you for book recommendations ૮ ´ ˘ ` ა <3 he's so enthusiastic about it that your heart wouldn't be able to take it, seeing how eager he is to try out reading just for you. :'(( you'd take him to a bookstore, so he can pick out the book himself! since you're unsure of what he'll like, you wanna give him a chance to find something that strikes his interest !! <3

𐚁๋࣭⊹ but baby is a bit overwhelmed with all the genres and so so many books to choose from.. (՞ ܸ. .ܸ՞) that eventually he just asks for your help. so with your help and suggestions, you guys are able to find one that he's into ! (✿◠ᴗ◠) he'll start reading it on the same day right before bed, so he can give you some kind of feedback on it the next day, but.. he gets distracted a few pages in and drifts off to sleep ૮ ྀི ◞ ◟ ა </3

𐚁๋࣭⊹ will definitely observe you closely and with awe as you're reading, aand if you're annotating too, he'll be straight up transfixed on each of your tiny movements. he's just so fascinated with the fact that so much work goes into reading a book (* ॑ ॑* )?? asks you questions and also to teach him how to do it, bcuz he's secretly planning to try and annotate a book for you :( for that he'll probably pick out one of your most favorites, wanting to surprise you with it ! </3 woonhak is the most thoughtful boy :(

𐚁๋࣭⊹ I feel as though, once he finds a genre he really enjoys, he's gonna adore reading! (even if it takes him a while to finish a book^^) so much so that he'd make solo trips to the bookstore, just to find some books similar to the one he just finished! (..◜ᴗ◝..) and while he's there, he'll look around for you as well, already giddy at the thought of gifting you a book, knowing you'll be ecstatic about it! ♡ˎˊ˗ I can just picture woonhak with a bright smile on his face, browsing through shelves full of books, looking for one that his lover will like.. (๑•́ ᎔ ก̀๑) on top of this, he'll get you all the necessary supplies, like colorful sticky tabs and pretty pens and pastel highlighters he's seen you using.. lovely baby just wants to make you happy :( <3

[betterthana-six]

| MUSIC TO MY EARS - [ABBY ANDERSON] - CHAPTER ONE |

PAIRINGS: stoic!rugby player abby x fem!reader

SUMMARY: you and your new(ish) roommate, Abby Anderson, have gotten into an argument. about what? unclear at the moment. but it's got Abby in a fit of shame. until late one night she hears you outside with someone whose voice she doesn't recognize and listens in.

WARNINGS: this is my first story ive ever published here. please be kind! i am fragile lol. this is definitely a slow burn, but lots of pining, yearning, and, yes, smut to come. TRUST. so, mdni. there are a lot of flashbacks between now and when they met so we get the full story eventually. this is more of a light hearted story but it does deal with coming to terms with sexuality (and who best to help you along that journey but rugby playing and stoic Abby Anderson?). anyways, i hope that the five people who might read this like it. I've proofread but, like, nobody's perfect. if people like this and want it as a series, ill make a more personalized playlist for it.

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2

Music To My Ears: Chapter 1

Abby is in your dorm room stretched out in bed with a book in her hands when she hears voices coming from outside. She watches the shadows dance in the light that extends under the door and into the room. It’s late. Abby hasn’t seen you all day. 

She tries to go back to reading, but her eyes glaze over the words almost immediately. Someone is leaning on the door, off and on making the hinge jingle in a way that is most times ignorable. Drunk students came through all the time, lingering in the hallways and leaning on the doors. But it isn’t ignorable now, not for Abby. 

The voices are muffled. They sound like they’re… giggling. One giggle is definitely yours. Abby could spot it from a mile away. The other’s is unfamiliar. Abby’s been reading the same passage over and over again and doesn’t even realize it.

It goes quiet outside and this time Abby closes the book, suddenly over-aware of her surroundings. She looks up at the reading light hanging from the headboard and instinctively switches it off. But she doesn’t want it to look like she turned it off because of them? She turns it on again without thinking and turns it off again, quickly entertaining the idea of faking sleep and listening in. With her hand on the switch Abby stops, realizing that they might start noticing the light going on and off and think she’s trying to signal something. She shakes her head at herself with embarrassment. She covers her face with both her hands. So stupid… she says under her breath. 

It’s been quiet for so long out there. But the shadows are still there. Abby lays down in bed and forfeits to her desire to eavesdrop. As icky as it makes her feel.

Your voice comes through finally. 

“What?” You ask, innocently.

“Don’t look at me like that.” An unfamiliar voice chimes in. It’s a woman’s voice. Abby couldn’t tell if she was feigning some sort of annoyance with you or if it was genuine.

“Like what?” 

A silence passes.

You sigh loudly. “Well, what’d you think of what I sent you? That wasn’t a cheap effort, you know. Full body mirror in the ladies’ locker room. Not too shabby.”

“You have to stop…” The other voice says, with a playful twinge that makes Abby’s curiosity perk up like dog ears. 

“Stop what? I can’t send you photos?” Your voice tells Abby you were in some daze, in the same way she could sometimes hear singers smile through their lyrics. Just thinking about you out there in the hall hanging onto the door and onto each of her words, shining your big green eyes at her. It sends a shiver down Abby’s spine.

“Not anymore,” the stranger says casually. “It was really good seeing you tonight but I have a boyfriend, remember? And I’ve told him about…us. High school. He knows… is the thing. He thinks I’m studying for midterms right now.” 

You laugh at that. In a sweet way, though. “Right,” you say and you sigh, seemingly unaffected by the reminder. “Jeremy?”

“Jeremiah,” the woman corrects.

“God, that’s even worse.” 

Abby snorts, basically smashing her lips shut with her hand, and then rages at herself silently in the dark for fear they may have heard her.

 “Did you… even look at them?” you ask. God, are you drunk? Abby has now given up on the book entirely, laying up on one elbow to stare at the door, imagining the conversation visually. 

A laugh from the woman. Mumbling now, feigning sheepishness, “Yeah.”

“And?”

“And…I think…about them, about you. Of course.” Abby’s hands are clasped together, tightening around one another at this.

“Yeah…?” you draw out the stranger’s words seductively with your own. Abby imagines you in the long, maroon dress you typically wear for special occasions. Was this a special occasion? She nearly has the impulse to check your closet just to be sure, but that’s crazy and much more invasive that what she was already doing. Her knuckles are turning white.

“And I think in another universe, maybe. Not this one. I can’t. You know why,” the stranger says sheepishly. “You’re so sweet.” And, in Abby’s imagination, there’s a dainty, gloved hand reaching out to caress your face condescendingly. The illusion entrances her to near paralysis.

A long pause from you. Abby listens hard, completely unable to stop herself from paying close attention now. In the near silence, Abby could sense your breath faltering through the door. Despite how the two of you left things, she didn’t want to see you hurting like that. Say something… Abby thinks.

When Abby hears you speak again, the sweetness in your voice has vanished. She nearly doesn’t recognize the sound. 

“Fuck…” There’s a lump in your throat, Abby could tell just from your voice when you were smiling and, just as easily, she could hear when you were about to burst into tears. “Why… why did you invite me out tonight then?” 

No answer.

“You have a boyfriend…” you continue in a matter-of-factly tone, raising your voice a bit, to Abby’s surprise. “Jeremy…yeah, so you’ve explained. Great guy, great future. So, you have the boyfriend, the good job lined up, you’re almost done with college. Man, you’re doing fucking great.” Abby’s mouth was left agape, her heart cheering with unwarranted pride for you, urging you on to read this stranger to filth. “Why start texting me again?” You ask.

“You’re here,” the woman clarifies indignantly, like it should be obvious. “I wanted to see you. I didn’t know you transf-”

 “That’s not what I’m ask- why’d you ask me out tonight?” You cut her off. “Purely to fuck with me?”

“No…”

“No, what? I’m just- I’ve always just been here at your disposal. Ever since we were teens. Chasing my tail around like a dumb dog, waiting for her master to one day be unashamed to be seen with me.” Abby’s hand travels to her mouth now in delight. She’s smirking like a clown, fully impressed with you. But, you were in tears at this point. Abby knew by now that, only drunk, would you show your tears like that. “Abby was right,” you mutter. Abby almost didn’t hear you.

“I’m gonna go,” the woman said. “It was good seeing you tonight.” It sounded like more of a question than a genuine statement. And then the sound of footsteps, a shadow moving away and then out of sight.

“Yeah. Go, for fuck’s…” You say messily. You were definitely not sober. And then Abby hears your body thud against the door one last time and senses you sliding down to the floor. She hears the tears. Abby instinctively began to get up, feeling the need to see you, talk to you, hold you. 

But she stopped herself. You wouldn’t even talk to her a few hours ago, why would you want her comfort now?

***

At that point in time, you and Abby were seasoned roommates. Well, not seasoned. You guys were in that awkward in-between stage of knowing each other where you’d half-memorized each other's schedules but there wasn’t any synchronicity to your dynamic yet. Changing clothes in the same room was still very touch-and-go.

However, when you first met there was immediate tension. It was winter then, and transferring colleges midway through sophomore year meant knowing absolutely no one. At least, you thought, you would have a roommate. But, when you first met, Abby was so much… harder. And, she was stoic and casual in a way that threw you off entirely.

“Are you looking through my shit?”

“No!” You said stiffly, whipping your head around to catch sight of the figure in the door. But, there you were. You stood fixed on her side of the room, where you just had your eyes deeply focused on the engraved rugby medals hanging on the shelf, her shelf. You were caught red handed and the lie came out of your mouth readily and in a panic. Abby was already smirking. 

“Yes,” you corrected yourself. “Sorry. I don’t know why I lied. But I’m just looking. I’m not going through it, per say, I promise.” 

Abby laughed and rolled her eyes. “Calm down. It’s fine.”

You smile and take five awkward steps over to your side where your bed was just a bare, blue mattress and your luggage rested waiting to be unpacked. It was a stark comparison between our sides of the room even still. Her bed was military neat, with perfectly tucked in covers and a single pillow centered at the head. The medals were all lined up but in a way that didn’t look too showy. Some polaroids were tucked into the creases between her window and the sill. Your suitcases were patterned and scuffed badly on the corners. Littered across them all were stickers you had found from anywhere you could find them. Your clothes made you look avant garde compared to Abby and you had a sudden knot in your stomach that told you to feel self-conscious. 

“They didn’t tell you who was moving in here, did they?” you asked.

“Ah. Typical administration shit. I didn’t even know someone was moving in today,” she explained, throwing her gym bag down onto her bed and then turning to you with an open hand to shake. “Abby.”

You shook her hand, returning her name with yours. You noticed the way Abby looked deeply into your eyes for a long second, too long for a first introduction. And the way she smirked at you while she did it confounded you; it was the same way someone held out their hand to a stray cat. To be fair, that was an accurate analogy. You were clad in winter jackets with a flushed face whereas she was radiating heat, skin almost steaming under her gym clothes. Her hands were rugged, you noticed.

“Well,” Abby said, turning to her bed and unzipping her gym bag. “I’ve been told I’m a good roommate. By no one actually. You’re the first roommate I’ve had since the first half of my freshman year. Uh…I keep to myself. I need quiet most nights because I get up early, so no boyfriends over on weekdays.”

You nodded along when she turned to you and sat on the edge of her bed wearing a slight grimace at that last idea. “But if you do, do me a favor and just text me beforehand. Don’t want to be walking in on any man butt.” You laughed a bit loudly at that. You just shook your head.

“No. That won’t be a problem,” you said. Abby caught your eye suspiciously and cracked a small and crooked smile.

“Okay,” Abby said. She turned back around, grabbed a towel from her drawers, and threw it on the bed. Then, she casually lifted her sweaty wife beater up over her head and it’s only then that you look at Abby long enough to notice her size and shape. She was severe, and you’d been so caught up in meeting her, you didn’t necessarily take in her physical appearance. But now that she faced away you could see the sheer definition of her body, starting at the dimples on her lower back trailing up to her massive shoulders. All of it glistening with a polished coat of sweat.  And the rest… it would take a few more interactions to even comprehend all of her.

She must have sensed the eyes on her back because she turned around. You looked away quickly, trying busy yourself with the things around you, but there was nothing. 

“Sorry,” your cheeks flushed red. But Abby was full frontal, positioned now with her messy hair unbraided, sprawled around her shoulders, grinning at you. She paused for a moment, maintaining eye contact, with only a towel around her waist.

But then she just shrugged, grabbed her toiletries, and said, “Later.”

You watched her leave. Watched her with wide eyes as she opened the door with one hand and used the other one to lazily cover her chest as she headed towards the showers. You even heard her say “sup” to someone on her way.

Alone, you felt the rush of the moment channel directly to your stomach and burst like flames across your face. 

***

That was just the beginning. Abby thinks of it now.

Now, face up on her bed, contemplating her next move, Abby recalls you as you were. She was immediately taken with you, that first day. Your wide eyes and timidity around her. Abby's own stupid, casual arrogance. Obviously, as Abby quickly learned later, that first impression of you was not at all fully representative of the truth. 

Maybe if she had stopped then, stopped the teasing, stopped what she intended to be light, meaningless flirting, Abby wouldn’t be hesitating to open the door. Perhaps she would be opening the door to find you in tears, take your face in her hands and tell you everything she’d been aching to say for three months now.

Abby gets up off her bed and walks to the door. She squeezes the handle, takes a breath, and then turns it slowly.

Comment if you want to be on this story's taglist!

Chapter 2

[bbygirl-aemond]

Emma D'Arcy on Rhaenyra's Fanaticism

Hi all so I've been going on about Rhaenyra's cult leader era for a few days now and wanted to bring in some quotes from two recent interviews that Emma D'Arcy gave about this most recent episode specifically. This is part three of my ramblings- I first talked about Rhaenyra's growing religious fanaticism here, and then expanded on the evidence from the show to support this here.

In the interview with the Wrap, we are told that Rhaenyra’s faith comes from “the ultimate belief that she is supposed to take over her father’s throne.” Over the series, “we see her become more and more wedded and ingratiated into her faith” to the point that “it borders on a kind of religious fanaticism.” She acts with this “slightly frightening…religious fervor, like she has the gods at her back in this decision.” In the interview with GQ, Emma reinforces this: “...something that has been happening for Rhaenyra throughout the series is a growing religious fanaticism.” Over the course of the episodes, “we see her more and more invested in her faith.”

As for why Rhaenyra is turning to religion, Emma outlines a few reasons in the GQ article. First, she is “in search of her right,” seeking to validate her insecurity over her birthright being questioned and usurped. Second, she has chosen her faith as the “anchor” that she is “going to cling to” in the wake of all the loss (Visenya, Lucerys, Rhaenys, Alicent, etc.) that she’s facing. But ultimately, Emma comes back to the idea of “narcissism” as Rhaenyra’s key motivator. “I think her connection with her religion is about wanting to reinforce a divine right.” Rhaenyra wants to believe that she is divinely ordained and special; it’s a very human desire, and so she’s reading into everything that happens around her. “She feels that she is riding on the wings of her faith. But her faith and her belief that she is the ruler that is supposed to sit on that throne are completely enmeshed.”

Emma also confirms in the GQ article that Rhaenyra views Addam claiming Seasmoke as “a gift from the gods” and says that this perceived sign is what emboldens Rhaenyra to both “ride roughshod over Jace’s very legitimate concerns” and is what “allows her to stage a massacre.” In the article from The Wrap, she expands on Rhaenyra dismissing Jace’s concerns: “ultimately, she will choose herself, really, above anyone. And here she chooses herself and her divine right over her son and her son’s legitimacy. I don’t think it’s an easy decision… but in this case, she feels she’s received divine permission.” We know how ride or die Rhaenyra has always been for her children, so this sense of divine permission must be incredibly significant to Rhaenyra in order to supersede her deep seated desire to fight for Jace’s claim.

Finally, Emma confirms in the GQ article that Rhaenyra feels like the dragonseeds’s deaths are “totally” and “without a shadow of a doubt” worth the result of two dragons being claimed. When Rhaenyra is up on that balcony, watching the dragonseeds be burned alive, “she feels like a god” and “feels super proud.”

To Rhaenyra, even the proximity to Vermithor and his dragon fire feels like she is “soaking up the divine.” Rhaenyra is in a state of religious fervor that distances her from the “horrendous” things she is doing in the short term; instead of truly registering how awful the carnage before her is, she is instead “experiencing events within a far bigger timeline” and thinking about how her name will go down in “the history books.” And so Rhaenyra ends episode 7 as “this sort of emboldened fanatic.”

[berryz-writes]

You are divine

Azriel x reader

Summary: You haven't seen Azriel for ages after a mission has kept him busy and you decide to wait for his return. Will you finally reveal your feelings or is it just not the right time?

idk what this is or where the idea came from but hope u enjoy xx ofc it's not checked either so pretend there are no mistakes

I lounged on the sofa, my book next to me but not actually reading it. It's not that I didn't like it, I actually found the romance in the book once of the best things I had read in a while but I couldn't settle down to enjoy it.

I was waiting for Azriel to come back from a mission he had been on for two weeks now. I had recently figured out the slight ache I felt whenever I remembered him was because I missed him and not because I had some sort of heart disease. Although I don't exactly know why seen as though our conversations consisted of "Good mornings'" "Good nights" and small smiles here and there.

"What are you doing?" Nesta asked, as she swept into the living room ,a cup of tea in her hand. I could smell the slight hint of lemon and honey and it was not a smell I particularly enjoyed. She sat down on the armchair opposite me as if she was going to start interviewing me. She probably was.

I sat up slightly and showed her the book I was reading. "I'm reading. Why?" She was definitely up to something.

She took a sip of her tea before continuing "I didn't know you could read without actually looking inside the book. Do you just absorb the words?" Her sarcasm was there but so was her teasing. I stuck my tongue out at her and put the book to the side. There was no point lying anymore.

"I'm waiting for Azriel. I haven't seen him in a while" I tried to keep my expression neutral like I was waiting for a friend and not because I may like him.

Nesta it seemed found something funny as a smirk made it's way onto her face "Waiting for Azriel? Do you miss him?"

If I replied no, she would ask why I was waiting and if I said yes I would never hear the end of her teasing. So I decided to take the safer route "Don't we all miss him when he leaves? It's been two weeks now"

Putting her cup of tea down she sighed "I suppose. Although it's getting late now. You can always see him in the morning."

She knew exactly what she was doing. Her plan to trap me in her questioning had worked because she was smiling now and I didn't know what to say. I narrowed my eyes at her "Isn't it your bed time?"

I asked, redirecting the conversation even though we both knew by now why I was waiting for him.

She shrugged slightly but stood up "It is. Sweet dreams" The house vanished the cup for her as she stood up and made her way to the door before looking back "You know, I don't think I've ever met anyone as oblivious as you or Azriel. It's excruciating to watch"

So she knew. Well I suppose it was pretty obvious how I always wanted to spend time with Azriel and how I was always waiting for him to return from missions. But I don't know why she called Azriel oblivious. It was probably the fact that he never noticed how much I liked him.

I crossed my arms in defiance to her words "I don't know what your talking about" I was never about to admit I liked someone and they didn't like me back. My pride wouldn't let me.

"Hmm. Okay." She left and it was silent once again. It was dark outside, the fae lights of Velaris could be seen twinkling in the distance as the people went from bar to bar, partying the night away. It was getting late, she was right. Maybe I should wait for a few more minutes? Just in case. I watched the balcony, waiting for him to land but I never saw it because soon my eyes became heavier and harder to keep open. The constant sound of the clock in the room added to the sleepiness I was feeling as if it was ticking away the time until I fell asleep.

I decided to rest my eyes for a while. Just so I could be awake for when Azriel would arrive. Resting my eyes turned into me falling asleep on the sofa and missing the whole point of my I was sat there in the first place.

I was woken up by someone whispering my name in the dark. I pushed the voice away and turned my face away trying to get to sleep again, not bothering to open my eyes to see who it was.

"Aren't you uncomfortable on the sofa?" It was Azriel. He repeated my name again and this time I finally woke up. I rubbed my eyes to see in the mostly dark room and saw hazel eyes full of warmth looking down at me. His wings were folded in and he was still in his Illyrian armour. There wasn't a speck of blood on him as if he had changed just before coming home. He shouldn't have had to take a detour just so he looked presentable coming home. He should have felt comfortable enough to come home and clean up instead of probably going to a shabby hotel in which he must have used the cramped bathrooms not big enough for wings. I hoped it wasn't me that made him so cautious around his own home.

He looked gorgeous as ever, even though he looked tired as hell too. I shook my head and sat up, stretching so I could hear the satisfactory crack from my back.

"I'm fine. How long have you been back for?" I asked, slightly annoyed at myself for having waited for so long and not even seen him come in. Azriel sat down next to me and even from the small distance between us I could feel his heat. I was glad he was back. The dull pain in my heart had receded now and I pushed back the desire to hug him. His shadows weren't as lively or moving about as they usually were as if they were tired too, just resting on his shoulders instead.

"A few minutes. What are you doing on the sofa?" He asked, looking at me like I was doing something odd. Well, I suppose I was but what was I supposed to say? The truth?

"I was reading and I fell asleep." The lie came easily off my tongue. It was helpful in situations where telling the truth would result in a painful death but sometimes lying was just easier than telling the truth. For fear of what the other person would say or how they would react. I'd rather not embarrass myself like that.

Azriel merely nodded his head, looking down at the wooden floorboards and not saying anything. The clock seemed louder now as if it were waiting for our conversation to start again.

"How was your mission?" I asked, looking at his reaction. His wings twitched slightly but otherwise his expression remained the same.

"Shit" He replied after clearing his throat. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. Why was it shit? The reports Rhys was getting all proved of the successful discoveries Azriel had made and not once was it mentioned something had failed.

"Why was it shit? I thought you found out everything you needed to? Did something happen? Were your spies found? Did you get hurt?" With every question it seemed Azriel's jaw clenched even more than before, leaving him to look slightly angry at this point. I scanned him for any injuries but physically he seemed fine. Well, more like fucking gorgeous and hot as hell but that wasn't the point.

"It was shit because I was away from home for two weeks. I am capable of missing people you know. I don't always want to be out on missions"

I paused at his words. He was right. I had dismissed it, just because he was good at his job, didn't mean he always wanted to do it or that he didn't miss people when he left. The air around us had thickened into something awkward and I hated the slight feeling of guilt growing in me. It was unusual for Azriel to open up like this but I was glad he wasn't answering in one word answers and actually wanted my company. Even if it was him slightly snapping at me.

After some deliberating I decided to tell the truth. I could always pretend we were just friends and I wasn't harbouring feelings for him "I missed you while you were gone. You went for ages, almost two weeks. It would have been exactly fourteen days if you arrived tomorrow" I informed him. I don't know why I said that but I did and now he was looking at me and his piercing gaze made me feel like I had been caught doing something I shouldn't have.

"You missed me?" He asked, sounding like he was holding his breath and waiting for my next words.

I nodded slowly "Of course I did" I don't know what he was expecting but he let out a sigh and looked down again. Was my answer not what he wanted to hear?

"You should get some sleep now...on your bed and not the sofa" Azriel interrupted my thoughts and stood up, his wings flaring slightly before folding again. What if I touched his wings? What would happen? I knew perfectly well what would happen so I banished the thought from my mind and stood up.

"You should sleep too. You must be tired" I said, covering a yawn with my hand. Really, this welcome wasn't what it was supposed to be. Although I don't really know what it was supposed to be. I was acting like I would hug and kiss him and tell him how I'd missed him but instead we'd had a conversation for two minutes and decided to call it a night. Not the most amazing thing in the world.

He nodded his head "I will. Once I have a shower and try to wash away the death on my hands" He said it so casually as if the death made no difference to him. Even if it was something he did quiet often how used to death could a person really get? You couldn't become immune to it. His shadows had gathered near his hands and his neck as if they were comforting him or hiding him from my stare.

"The death on your hands is part of your job. Not who you are" I replied quietly. I hoped he knew that.

"You always know what to say don't you? I suppose that's why everyone says you have a silver tongue" His lips had turned up in a small smile and his shadows had receded slightly. I smiled back, glad he wasn't taking my words as offensive and instead found humour in them.

I shrugged slightly and before I knew what I was saying I had let my thoughts spill out "This tongue can do other things, y'know" I clapped a hand over my mouth, my eyes widening in horror. I was stupid. So fucking stupid.

Azriel had paused. His eyes widened slightly, signalling his surprise at my words but other than that he looked like a statue. Nothing moved. Until I heard a slight chuckle escape from his perfect lips and then an actual laugh that made my heart ache and feel bright with happiness at the same time. Ache because I hadn't heard such a beautiful sound in ages and happiness because it was me making him laugh. It was so infectious that I lowered my hands and smiled at his reaction.

"Who knew you could flirt? I wouldn't mind if you showed me what other things you could do"

Now it was my turn to stand in shock as Azriel's laughter came to an abrupt halt and he eyed me warily.

"I didn't mean that" He added quietly, all of the lightness around us gone.

I tilted my head slightly "I meant what I said though" I waited for what he would say. I had finally let it out. The fact that I wanted him and I didn't feel any better. I didn't feel lighter or as if I had hope within me. Instead nerves gathered in my stomach waiting for his rejection.

Azriel moved closer to me, his boots silent on the floorboard until there was an inch of space between us and if I wanted to, I could reach up and brush a stray curl away from his forehead.

"If I were to kiss you right now what would you do? Would you run? Push me away in disgust? " His questions were said one after another, his voice soft and his eyes locked onto mine. I had to strain my ears to make out the exact words he was saying but they went straight to my heart. As if I would ever have disgust and Azriel in the same sentence.

I swallowed. It was now or never. I wrapped my arms around his neck and moved closer until we were a hairs width apart. I waited for him to push me away but instead he watched me with intrigue and full intensity. I tilted my face up so our lips touched slightly, a jolt of electricity running through my entire body. His hands immediately came to rest on my hips, tugging my closer until I was pressed up against him and his lips were on mine and were were kissing and it felt like I was in heaven, and I never wanted it to end.

"This is what I would do" I murmured. His eyes were closed as he breathed in deeply before opening them again "You are divine" He whispered to me, before leaning in and kissing me as if his life depended on it.

MASTERLIST

[f-t-e]

I started watching SUPERNATURAL in November 2020. I know, I know. My partner and I had been isolating alone since March. The timing felt right. I went though a wild amount of upheaval and trauma over the next year and SPN was there for me through it all. It was THE show at THE time and it kept me afloat when I needed it the most. Since November 2021 I've written just about 110,000 words of SPN fanfic, a number that seems unbelievable to me, and that too has been a real blessing to my creative life, no matter what haters say. (why didn't I write my own novels in that time? Because I have a hobby, Karen, and I love it.) And I've read about 500000x that much fanfic, which has been the biggest blessing of all. (ETA: oh right, if you want to read my fic, you can find my stuff here, I wrote a fic where Dean reads books. Lots of books.)

I know I'm a nobody in this fandom but I thought on this, our #DestielDay, I would submit my own humble rec list. I've curated this very deliberately: every fic here has just about 4000 hits or less (most under 3000) and all were published in 2020 or after. So, sort of a rec list for some lesser known and newer fics, something you maybe haven't stumbled on yet. Especially thank you to @jewishcharliebradbury, her rec lists gave me a place to start back in the day and I have tried to model the depth and quality they brought to their lists. I tried to link to everyone's tumblr, but if I missed one, let me know.

Most of all, thank you to everyone who has EVER created something for this fandom, from 2005 to 2023. I am so thankful and, honestly, honored to be among your number. You're not supposed to be cringe and say a show saved your life...but SUPERNATURAL saved me, it really did. See y'all when the movie/reboot drops, to quote Ryan Gosling in The Notebook: IT WASN'T OVER, IT STILL ISN'T OVER. And I'm glad.

-----

Finale Fix-It & S15 and Beyond

What The Moon Was Saying by Amiril (@runawaymarbles)

This is hands-down one of the coolest “Dean Rescues Cas from the Empty” fics I have ever read and the concept is brilliantly structured to mirror the literal and metaphorical things Dean needs to give up and let go to get free. Every scenario is very satisfying and they make sense, is there any better feeling? Dean is very open in this, but in a believable way that still has edges. And, oh, the reunion is so good. Plus all the family stuff. Just excellent, exactly what you want in a fic like this: lovely, well-written, smart, fulfilling, all the pieces clicking, the show but better.

Awake and Annoying by skycruise

I love the use and passage of time in this one, it has some real impact, and I love the way Dean gets into the Empty (so smart, fits just right) and what I REALLY love in this one is the way it lets Dean be really clear-eyed and honest about his relationship with Sam, both the strengths and the weaknesses. And the last line, very clever and moving inverse of one of fandom’s favorite things. 

Living the life you chose by allthismusic

THEEEEE post finale Sam Winchester-Outsider-POV this fandom needs. Sam is absolutely awesome in this, the most believable, loving, realistic mix of “I knew all along” and “I had no idea” versions of Sam, landing somewhere I think that’s really true and in character. It fills in and develops so many gaps and silences in what the show let Sam know in the absolute best way. Best Brother Sam is a weakness of mine and he really shines here, there for Dean in the best ways but also coming into his own, I love it so very much. (this author also has a very great 2022 Big Bang fic, hugely recommend that one too.)

your ear to the wound that whispers by EmandFandems (@lazarusemma)

Who doesn’t love a HANDPRINT FIC?!? And boy this is such a good one. It follows Dean and his thoughts on the handprint from the first touch all the way to fixing the finale and it simply buzzes with longing and desire, tenderness and rawness. It’s great insight in lot of ways into Dean’s journey. It’s short but fulfilling and oh that very perfect last line. (this author also has a lot of great Jupernatural content.)  

Somewhere Off in the Dark by magickastiel 

Another awesome fic that traces Dean’s shifting/growing feelings for Cas from when he shows up in his hotel rooms to a HEA fix it after canon. Dean, again, is handled so deftly in this one, his confusion and sorrow at all the times Cas is slipping away from him all the way through the things he won’t let himself know. He feels really true in this one, sharp and tender in the best Dean ways. Also it has an agonizingly romantic end, you love to end up there.

Pins and Feathers by theskywasblue (@buttherewasnogod)

This author has so many freaking good SPN fics, omg it was almost impossible to pick just one to include on this list. Go treat yourself with their entire list because there’s so much good stuff there! But this one, oh I am a sucker for a finale fix-it that lets Dean be this tender. While I LOVE fics where he just jumps right into Cas’s arms (and write them lol) I also feel like this is so true to Dean too: that “maybe I misunderstood, maybe I shouldn’t say anything, maybe he doesn’t still –” And on top of all that, it’s a “they go the beach” fic and it gets the details of it so right, sand in your toes and all. Tender, amazing slow-burn, real, hot, full of heart and longing and everything unspoken and just waiting. Very satisfying!

i loved you first by kalmialatifolia

A set of four short fics that create an entire world of feeling and emotion. These feel like little whispered stories told under the covers, very atmospheric. There’s one very sexy one, a haircutting one (so good) and they’re just intimate. All together a great set and did I mention they’re in the “Cas saves himself” genre which is mmmm an underrated treasure.

no other faith is light enough for this place by anonymous 

A fix-it fic that has a particularly unique and beautiful visual of both how and why Cas comes back. The mechanics behind it are fairly standard but the way this author creates the visual of it, the sheer emotion and force behind it and how it happens, it really stood out to me and stuck with me. It’s Dean being brave enough to really feel and the way that just blossoms – lovely, aching, full-tilt wonderful.

 no proof, one touch by TakeThisWaltz (@watchinghimrakeleaves)

One thing I absolutely cannot get enough of is fic where Cas is hiding out from Dean in heaven. It just hits. And the only thing better is Dean chasing him down and the WAY he does it in this fic, methodically and – well the method (sobs) it is so endearing and OBVIOUS and gives Dean a chance to shout in all the best ways. This one is just real sweet and kind of goofy and if they have to be in heaven, I want them to still be these same two dorks.

Stay by redbrickrose

This is a post S15x18 from Cas’s POV and I think it’s very true to where he would be in the moment of getting yanked out of the Empty: resigned, hesitant about what he has in front of him, still a little in shock. And then. And then. Sweet and simple and Dean gets a chance to say, say, say it. This author has a good post series AU and a lovely little spate of S15 codas, all good. And then wrote this in real-time in the week after 15x18 Despair and right before 15x19 Inherit the Earth aired (could you just sob over the possibilities?!) and then hasn’t wrote anything since and that’s a shame but, like, yeah I get it.

like a one-two punch by Muir_Wolf (@muirmarie)

Don’t you love a short fic that feels like it’s a whole novel? This goes AU after 14x20 Moriah but it is a truly delightful twist on how Chuck could’ve reacted there and it makes Dean sharp as a knife, which is one really resonant image woven through this fic. Great imagery here and so many clever solutions for the lazy plotting of S15, including simply one of my all-time favorites in any fic ever solutions to Cas’s deal (genius) and getting rid of Chuck. Brilliant like a puzzle box yet still full of so much fucking joy.

maybe i like pleasure pain by tothewillofthepeople (@kvothes)

The fact that this was written in October 2023 and is so agonizingly good fills my heart with joy and tells me Destiel will never die lol. Cas, in particular, is great in this – he’s having a hard time adjusting to being in a body and with all the fuzz of the world. I love fics where Cas struggles with coming back from the Empty and this uses a really unique approach to it: Cas facing sensory overload and not knowing how to feel but wanting it all. Lovely, hot, Dean is just right in this too.

Earlier Canon (pre S15)

Proverbs 13:12 by starlingcas (@angelcasendgame)

Many might say I am biased because Renu has beta’ed everything I have written in the SPN fandom and they can read my brain and make everything I write better. But it’s not just that. Renu has done something beautiful and delicate in this fic, which is about Dean and Cas getting trapped in a net together (forced proximity trope, yes please) and weaves a web of its own; pulling you in just as they are pulled together. This is set mostly in early S14 (before fixing the finale in the most heart-healing way) and captures that feeling so well. There’s so much that’s unsaid between them yet still conveyed and Renu absolutely nails that, along with the tender longing that was always there. This is a fic to relish.

you may tire of me (as our december sun is setting) by deludedfantasy

You know how the show just sometimes is like “uh so anyway uh then Cas…uh…left.” and it just doesn’t make one lick of sense? FINALLY FINALLY a fic where Dean says “I’ll go with you,” and then goes because he actually would do that. This is a post Tombstone fic so it is exactly where/when he WOULD go and it is tender and hesitant and aching in just all the ways it would be between the two of them at this time. It’s about needing to keep someone in sight, it’s about having another chance to say something so important, it’s slow and soft and just right for the characters in this place. I could read this one about 100 times.

the anatomy of flightless birds by cowlovely (@dollhousemary)

This fic is basically the way you feel when you get all cozy and snug underneath your favorite blanket. This is a domestic-life-in-the Bunker S9 fic where everyone behaves like they are in character and not just like they have to get Cas off screen because the writers panicked. You’ll just want to curl up in this fic and savor it the way you wrap your fingers around a hot beverage on a very cold day, there’s no better way to describe it.

virtue by JenTheSweetie

I think I’ve read this about 100 times and it still gets me everytime? It’s a five things fic about Dean and Cas hooking up and it’s all you’ve ever wished for. This is set in an amorphous S8 and it is not just agonizingly hot but also romantic and very funny. It feels really in character! Sam is hilarious, Dean is clueless but bowled over and letting himself be swept up, Cas is delighting in every second and smarter than he lets on and it ALL feels fated and lovely and sexy and just splendid. (this author only has 3 SPN fics but they are all so good and if you try sometimes, well you just might find is an absolutely brilliant deconstruction of Dean learning the differences between “needing” and “wanting.”)

Romance at the Motel 6 by shelia_amour 

This fic makes me feel like Stefon from SNL. This fic has everything: Cas and Sam pretending to be married, just the right amount of jealous Dean, Dean randomly pretending to be married to Cas, Dean realizing maybe this isn’t so fake after all, motel vibes, Cas in Dean’s clothes, Cas getting bee slippers. If you are not sold on this already, we are very different people. So good, aches just right. (set in a kind of “whenever” of canon, but I like to put it somewhere in S8.)

que sera sera by Purple_Starflower (@hauntedpearl)

The epitome of how fanfic unfolds for us all the things that COULD happen. You can’t PROVE to me Dean and Cas never snuck off to snuggle and feed Dean’s touch-starvation early in S13. I had to check when I finished because I just couldn’t believe this fic was under 4000 words because it feels so full of touch, longing, the things unspoken, and all the ways Dean was reaching, reaching, reaching. The best kind of ache, and everything by this author is lovely. 

the hard edge that you’re settling for by lesspopped (@trekkiedean)

This is some S10 Demon!Dean that made my stomach hurt and my heart ache and I absolutely loved it and I absolutely hated it and it all felt so REAL with who Demon!Dean was and could have been. There’s a TW for mildly dubious consent in this, but to me, Cas was so agonizingly true to who he was/where he was at this point in canon too. This fic is gloriously, claustrophobically intimate. I say unbearable because as a reader you know that this closeness, this intimacy, is what Dean wants/craves/deserves but can only give himself as a demon and the author does an exquisite job at getting all that across. Hurts so good! 

four of swords by sundryvillians (eurythmix) (@perenial)

Can the world ever have enough post 12x12 fic? The answer is, of course, no. Dean and Cas bake bread and in the soft space of creating something with their own hands, get so close to the words Cas said. It’s about healing and anger and making something just because you are so tired of everything breaking. If that alone isn’t enough to convince you, let me also throw in this is another one of those “possible off-screen moments in canon” that gives them something honest and tender and raw and it feels so very possible. 

Fifteen Prayers From the Faithless by koyas_cat

Short, achy, that sweet sting. A set of prayers for Cas from the beginning to the end, full of all the things Dean doesn’t let himself say outloud and just reflecting the changes in their connection over alllll the years. So good.

[porcelain-siscon]

Humans don't look up.

At my height, it is a requirement. my sister, who I continue to refer to as despite her protests, stands thirty-nine centimeters taller than me. To make eye contact with her, something else she protests, I have to look at an eleven degree angle if I am two meters away. If I am asked to get something from a shelf, I have to look up to see things that are eye level for most people.

Humans don't look up, but dolls do.

I've never seen Antares, I never even had the chance. Deneb has been gone for so long that it feels almost mythological. But Regulus I remember. I remember pointing and saying "it's gone," only to be swiftly punished by my sister for speaking out of turn. I wonder if she remembered that moment the next time.

It was Aldebaran. Just like Regulus, there was a sudden shimmer before turning a piercing blue that lasted for but an instant. It was green for seconds after that, then yellow, then orange, then red, fading into nothing. "It's gone," I said again, speaking out of turn for the first time in near fourteen years.

I wasn't punished this time, so perhaps she did remember. This time she asked me what was gone.

"Aldebaran."

Humans don't tend to look up. Dolls always do.

This time we both did.

I familiarized myself with astronomy shortly after the disappearance of Regulus. This was behind my sister's back, always being careful to put books back into place, to carefully roll charts back up, to do as much calculation internally as I could, which is admittedly very little. I smuggled away paper and writing implements while forgoing precision tools, relying instead on the precision of the craftsmanship of my own body. There were only two points of data to work with, but I had a perfect understanding of time.

It was a clear night only a bit more than twenty-two years later. I knew my math was correct, though I did not know if my hypothesis was. I pointed upward, directly at Capella. My sister paid no attention, even as I spoke out of turn in an attempt to draw her eye.

It was to no avail. I watched as Capella flashed a brilliant blue, then faded to green, then yellow, then orange, slowly fading to blackness as the other two did.

"Capella is gone, sister."

She looked at me with the same hatred she always did when I referred to her like that, but I could see the way her anger gave way to a sort of scientific curiosity that she had whenever she was working. She asked me what happened, I explained to her the way the stars became glorious, only to fade to nothing over the course of mere seconds. I told her that I knew it was going to happen. She asked me how I knew. I told her that I was confirming a hypothesis.

She did not speak to me again for slightly more than six years.

"Which one this time, then?" she finally asked, on a cold, clear night. I pointed up towards Arcturus and told her it would be that one, in approximately two and a half hours. We waited in silence as I continued to point.

I counted down when we reached the ten second mark.

I wonder if that's why she looked at what happened to the star with sadness rather than fear. I wondered why I feared her more than the approaching darkness, even after all her punishments.

There was much discussion in scientific and arcane communities to try and discern what was happening, but I was not privy to listen in, only reading what I could in published works without my sister noticing. Pollux, Fomalhaut and Vega in the same year, Altair, then Procyon. All of them suffered the same fate. My sister cloistered herself away in her atelier most of the time, only speaking to me when she wanted an update on when the next vanishing would be.

She didn't watch Sirius vanish with me.

I felt more lonely without the stars than I did without her attention. Even if all she ever did was punish me or experiment on me, use me as an assistant, she was still my sister and I loved her dearly, even if I resented all of that.

But the stars were always there for me.

Because dolls have to look up.

[the-writer-is-always-write]

Thoughts on Dune: Part Two

General Impression: I adored this movie from start to finish. Having just rewatched Part One a week ago, it felt like a seamless transition hopping back into the story. The score, the set design, the costumes, all of it was impeccable.

Chani: her character arc was obviously the biggest deviation from the book, and although I felt a lot of surprise watching it unfold, I think some reflection has left me alright with it. I've admittedly only read Dune and Dune: Messiah, but both books are clearly meant to illustrate the dangers of religious fanaticism and the ways that religion and prophecy can be manipulated and utilized as a tool for oppression. While these ideas can (hopefully) be discerned fairly clearly by the reader, I think it makes sense to have an audible voice of dissent in a film adaptation, particularly from someone among the Fremen. The only concern I have is wondering how Denis will handle Dune: Messiah, since the plot sort of hinges on Paul and Chani being together. But I guess that's a worry for later.

MY BOY MUAD'DIB: Timothee is just so utterly perfect for this role, I genuinely could not imagine anyone else doing it with such grace and gravitas. Seeing the gradual spiral of innocent teenager to reluctant leader to religious icon was heart-wrenching. Paul has honestly become one of my favorite fictional characters because his story is so complex and layered with tragedy. He's simultaneously a product of manipulation and coercion, and an angry young man seeking revenge against those who have hurt him. He lacks agency in many ways, yet he still makes decisions that lead to so much destruction. He tries so so hard to avoid the holy war, but it becomes an inevitability he can't escape. Reading Dune: Messiah for the first time a few weeks ago really helped me to understand how the prophecy controlled him as much as he used it to control others. I could literally give a ted talk on this, and how it's such a fascinating take on the messiah figure trope.

Jessica: I saw an article recently where I think Denis called Jessica "the puppetmaster," and I think that's very fitting for her depiction in this movie. I like how it openly shows the manipulation tactics of the Bene Gesserit, particularly how they prey upon the "vulnerable" Fremen first. Rebecca did a fantastic job giving the creep factor.

Feyd-Rautha: I still don't know why Denis had a vendetta against Harkonnen eyebrows, but I guess it was cool? I LOVED the black and white lighting on Giedi Prime, and the arena scene was SO. GOOD. Denis really went for it. Feyd's accent caught me off guard a few times, but overall I think the ruthless and brutal nature of the character really shined through. He's the antithesis to Paul, and I think Denis captured that theme well enough.

I thought all the other characters were well done too. Stilgar was maybe a touch too comic relief-y at times, but nothing catastrophic. Gurney was great, but I would have liked at least one more baliset scene :(

Things we missed: I'm a little bummed we didn't get Harah. I know the movie was already pretty stuffed, but I honestly thought they could have used the actress that played Chani's friend (I can't remember if they ever mention her name). Even if the idea of Paul "acquiring" her was a little icky, they could have done something else with her character at least. I was also sad they didn't do the full funeral scene with Jamis, but oh well. I think the greater omission was Thufir Hawat, but again I can see why they chose to cut him. I just think the dynamic between the Baron and Feyd-Rautha had a lot more friction in the book, mostly because of Thufir conspiring them both against each other.

I'm honestly not upset we didn't get to see freaky-toddler Alia. I was excited for Anya though!

Overall, I really loved this film. No adaptation can get every detail perfect, but I can see the ways that Denis and the actors adored this story and wanted to tell it in a powerful way. I thought the themes stayed true to the book, and I'm really hopeful we get Part Three!

AND THE WORMS. THE WORMS WERE GREAT. LONG LIVE THE WORMS.

[nourangul]

Missed Connections

It's my first attempt at anything x reader, but thanks to a few notes from @darktrashsoulbear I think I've gotten it. I hope so at least. Comments are always welcome. Reader uses she/her pronouns. Now to enjoy another Ewan Mitchell x Reader oneshot!

————————————————

It had been a last minute thing, Ewan had fully intended just to hole up in his hotel room for the night and rest with a book he was attempting to read.  He’d read the same page a few times when a friend on the crew called him–inviting him out to a local show.  At first, he’d been teetering on no, but had asked what kind of show–something metal.  Matt’s girlfriend knew the band, had even helped get them sorted out with a small label that wouldn’t take them for all they were worth and then some.

What the hell

He’d thought, he’d go and enjoy the evening.  More than anything, he wanted an outlet–to do something fun that made his stress melt away.  What better way than to go a little mad in the pit?

——

No matter the city or even the country, clubs were all the same: strobe lights thumping along with the bass of varying degrees of quality, shouted conversations to and from everyone and no one, the smell of spilled and shake liquor on top of a hundred perfumes and colognes with a base layer of sweat, the clank of ice and glass as overworked bartenders kept up with the ebb and flow of humanity in search of social lubricant. 

It was sensory hell before trying to get through the crowd and Ewan had been firmly left at their chosen table while he nursed a drink and watched his friends “dance”. It had at least started as dancing and now it was a scant step up from grinding. Now he was looking at anything else to avoid an accidental eye fucking he’d never recover from. Everyone was a stranger here and he wasn’t prepared for that, not tonight at least. 

Drink in hand, he headed outside to save some of his hearing and to have a smoke. A nasty habit, sure, but one he had no intention of quitting…

“Fuckin’ hell.” 

After a thorough pat down of every spare pocket he had, Ewan realized he’d left his pack of smokes god only knew where. 

“Ewan? It’s Ewan, right?”

A woman had come up to him and for a long moment, he didn’t recognize her. Was she a fan or…

“Yes… Wait, I know you–from the flight to Heathrow?”

“I thought this was you! Your hair looks good!”

He’d been dark blond the last time she saw him, not the bleached blond he’d chosen for the premier of the second season. He’d run a hand through his hair out of habit, a little smile at receiving a compliment from a pretty girl. 

And god she was pretty with that big smile of hers. She looked intimidating, but that could just be the nerves… Oh god, but that smile… fuck, she could light up all of London. 

A hug was offered and accepted, they’d become fast friends on a red eye from New York to London. Yet he hadn’t ever expected to see her again when she sprinted away to make a connecting flight to Helsinki. Fate was funny that way, it seemed. 

Their conversation was about everything and nothing. Sharing a pack of cigarettes he later learned was from Finland. She’d come back to London to do press for a new ep. Just like he had just finished his own press tour. 

Over shared experience, one drink turned into two, then three. His phone buzzed occasionally—Matt had been an unexpected friend and he was grateful. Tom was an even better friend and both liked to check on him from time to time. Especially Matt in this case. He and his girlfriend had invited him out. The least they could do was check on him. 

“You have good friends, they like to check on you. Nice for a night out in a loud club.”

“I do, it’s a gift.”

“Any of them here? I can release you if you want.”

“No, it’s fine. I came with a mate and his girl, they’re about to call it a night.”

“And what about you?”

“Haven’t decided yet. The company is good.”

“Hmm…” She played with one of the pendants she wore. “I could eat. Wanna get out of here and find some food?”

“Yeah, I’d like that.”

——

Which led them to perhaps the seediest kebab shop he’d ever seen, but it was open all night. 

It was the sort of place Matt’s girlfriend had called “a greasy spoon”. It fit: the tables were a little sticky, napkins were thin, the plates were almost as thin, but it was the best thing he’d ever eaten. Something about the beer, tobacco, and the company. 

It would be a warm memory, he knew it already. Knew it when he brought her back to his hotel only for them to both fall asleep at the beginning of some 2000s horror movie.

A perfect surprise. 

A perfect night. 

[callsignfate]

Valeria x Chaotic wife pt.5

(Hi, I just wanted to say thank you for all of the likes and attention people give this series! It means a lot because, honestly, I'm new to Tumblr, and I started writing (publicly) for a hobby. Thank you, and don't worry, I have no plans to end this anytime soon. Enjoy!)

Part One/ Part Two/ Part Three/ Part Four/ Part Five

Part Six/ Part Seven/

♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤

R/N: I'm tired.

Valeria: I told you to go to bed last night. You don't NEED to sit on your phone for an hour or more before you go to sleep.

R/N: ...I do it's a part of my process to fall asleep.

Valeria: At least it's not bluey anymore.

R/N before you say it, it's not a kid show. It tackles serious topics.

Valeria: for kids sure.

R/N: You watched it too!

Valeria: And if you ever tell anyone that I will deny it, then never let you leave again.

♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤

Valeria: Do you really need another one? You have like a hundred and I'm pretty sure I've seen that exact one.

R/N holding another squishmallow: This one is different it has a hat!

♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤

Valeria: Did you finish the last five books you bought?

R/N: Sort of...

Valeria: READ THE BOOKS YOU BUY BEFORE YOU GET MORE.

♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤

Valeria: Let's go to- what are you doing?

R/N: What?

Valeria: It is almost midnight and you are drinking an energy drink?!

R/N: They taste good..

Valeria: You are either going to kill yourself or me way younger than I want either of us to die.

R/N: ...Want one?

Valeria: NO I DONT WANT ONE!

♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤

Valeria's men: MA'AM YOUR WIFE SHES STUCK ON THE ROOF

Valeria: I left her with your for 5 minutes! How in god's name did she scale the building and get stuck on the roof IN FIVE MINUTES?!

Valeria's men: We don't know we turned our back for like a second..

Valeria: (cursing under her breath in Spanish as she gets up from her desk to go help you down from the roof)

♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤

Valeria: With the amount of trouble and situations you get yourself in.. I'm genuinely surprised you're alive.

R/N: Oh, me too, I think it's like a super power.

Valeria: I wouldn't call it a superpower, but alright.

♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤

Valeria: Why is there a ton of games downloaded on my computer?

R/N: ...

Valeria: What is wizard 101??

R/N: A game where your a wizard.. and you have to go to different towns and do different things..

Valeria: ...tell me.. do you do these things with the intent to annoy me? Or just do it and think 'no, Valeria won't care if I delete files to download A WIZARD GAME'

R/N: I'll take avoiding this question for 500.

♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤

R/N helping Valeria with paperwork: GOD THIS IS BORING AND DRY. Can't their be some hot woman or man in this?

Valeria: It's finance paperwork not one of your dark kink romance books.. which is starting to make me wonder because some are about Mafia or Cartel leaders...

R/N: Intresesting because (R/N sprints away)

♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤

Valeria: I'm trying to work.

R/N: and I'm trying to annoy you while you work to get you to stop working so we can do something.

Valeria: ...

R/N: Anyways as I was saying, then Edward says 'this is the skin of a killer bella' and honestly it's kinda fun-

Valeria: ALRIGHT WE WILL GO GET SOMETHING TO EAT.

♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤

Valeria: Why are my men saying your doing something stupid?

R/N: That's incredibly rude of them, I'm not doing anything.

Valeria: Then unlock the door and let me in.

R/N: We both know I can't do that.

Valeria: and why's that?

R/N: I tried to see if I could do this trick where you get your handcuffed arms from behind you to infront of you..

Valeria: You handcuffed your arms behind your back again?!

R/N: ...help.

♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤

[decepti-thots]

this is only peripherally relevant to my blog but if people would like a fiction rec for Books About Fandom, i bet a lot of people would love Little Blue Encyclopedia (for Vivian), which i enjoyed- and specifically enjoyed so much more than a lot of books in the zeitgeist atm About Fandom TM.

the conceit is that after the author's friend vivian dies, to help her grieve the author writes a book discussing the (fictional twin peaks pastiche, basically) show they watched together, which vivian was obsessed with, interspersed with her remembrances. both of them were trans women who helped each other through periods of their transitions, and the narrator is sorting through her feelings in the aftermath of vivian's death, and their complex relationship. the book alternates between discussions of the fictional show's details, both 'in-universe' and the surrounding fan culture, and the author recollecting their experiences together.

what stuck out to me is how different it is to a lot of the current contemporary romance novels trying to be 'about fandom' in ways that are very... sanitized, let's say. commercial. frankly inauthentic. while i had some very minor nitpicks about the execution, it was an overwhelmingly more sincere experience than basically any other book I've ever read Doing Fandom, and especially as a discussion of bonding over art as trans people navigating the world together, i think it's frankly kind of unique.

idk, i wanted to rec it because it really gets something about how queer fandom can be special i think very few things do, in a way that sidesteps all the things i find annoying about attempts to do it less sincerely for a more self-aggrandizing audience. i think a lot of people in fandom would enjoy it for that reason! so i wanted to rec it here, on my fandom blog. if you like, here is the ebook:

[desertfangs]

I haven't yet read the books (there's so many!) I've only watched the iwtv movie and TV show and I love Claudia in both but I've had people tell me in the books she's awful and considered to be one of the series villains. Idc about spoilers I just wanna know how true that is bc I dunno if I'd want to read that lol

Hi anon! I was excited to see your ask this morning because I'm gonna tell you something: Claudia was one of my first favorite characters in the series and her death devastated me. Louis was my first fav (understandable, he's literally the protagonist of the first book, we're meant to sympathize with him!) and when he lost Claudia and became numb in his grief, I related. I hated Armand for what happened to Claudia and I held a grudge for a long time.

Anyhow, I can't speak to the show so much as I've only seen season 1, but if you like the 94 movie, you will probably like the novel Interview with the Vampire. It's a pretty close adaptation.

To get to the heart of your question, no, Claudia not an awful villain. Anymore than Louis or Lestat are. If anyone is a villain in IwtV, it's Armand, and even he is not a mustache-twirling evil guy.* Everyone in this series in morally gray and does terrible stuff. I emphasize that because I've been in this fandom for a long time and I've seen all kinds of arguments about who is evil and who is not, and the fact is, all of our vampires do questionable things. That's sort of the point. So it's arguable how much there even is a villain in IwtV outside of Louis' own depression and grief, but Armand probably gets that honor.

Claudia in the books was turned around the age of 5. She is a very small, doll-like child who doesn't seem to retain much, if any, memory of her human life. She is more purely a vampire than Louis or Lestat can really fathom because she lacks that humanity and a connection to humans. She's a natural hunter and killer.

She doesn't understand Louis' sentimentality for humans, and resents Lestat for withholding information she knows he has about their kind. She is a complex and fascinating woman trapped in the body of a small child to the point where even Louis, who loves her dearly, cannot really see her as an adult and struggles to accept her agency. She does manipulate both her parents, in part because they don't often see her as a capable equal, which she very much is.

She does eventually rise up to kill to Lestat out of desperation. She believes he will not let Louis go and knows she can't travel around alone, given her appearance. Lestat himself is devastated by this and by her loss, and even says later he understands why she did it. That he probably deserved it for what he'd done to her, which was trap her forever in the body of a very young child, something he admits was selfish. (And something Marius had actually warned him against doing beforehand, LOL!!)

Like in the movie and the show, she does die at the Theatre des Vampires, and Armand is more responsible for that than I've heard he is on the show (he tells Louis he couldn't have stopped it, only to later reveal he orchestrated it, which Louis knew the whole time).

She appears later in The Tale of the Body Thief mocking Lestat and acting as a sort of voice for his subconscious, but she is just his hallucination in he book. He's dealing with a lot of trauma and grief and that manifests itself as Claudia's ghost.

Where you might be hearing she's a villain is from Merrick, where both her diary and spirit appear and are... not very nice. I gotta say, I am not convinced that is actually the spirit of Claudia that gets conjured, and even if it is, it's possible she's been warped somehow. But I also haven't read that book in decades and often tend to ignore it, so I am not an expert on that score.

I hope this helps! I'm always happy to answer questions about the books! (They are my special interest, if you cannot tell.)

But I do want to say that if you are a fan of the show and curious about the books--which are very different!--I highly recommend you read at least the first few yourself. The best way to judge if you'll like the book versions of the characters and story is to experience it yourself. There's a lot of misinformation that gets passed along about the books, and a lot of misinterpretation due to that because people just repeat what they've heard without having read them. And hey, they still may not be your cup of tea, and that's totally fine! But you won't know if you don't try, you know?

Anyhow, thank you so much for the ask! 💖 Claudia is awesome and deserves more love in the book fandom, but because she dies so early on, she doesn't get as much attention sadly.

*And even when he is, we love him.

[theladyrebecca2]

Stranger Things: The First Shadow (My spoiler-filled review and thoughts)

“Nerds, do you copy?”

Buckle up, because this is a long one! I've tried to remember as much as I can from when I saw the play on Dec 5th.

Disclaimer: This is in no way a complete recollection of things that happened. They really packed a LOT into it. This is just what I can personally recall, helped along by other reviews and recollections I’ve found online that sparked my memory. 

If you don't want to be spoiled, don't read any further!

Act 1.

After an epic intro scene, where soldiers on a ship at sea get dragged off by demogorgons (more on this later), we’re shown the Stranger Things intro exactly as though we’re watching an episode.

Chapter One: The Girl from Nowhere.

Hawkins, 1959. 

It opens with a young Bob Newby on air, talking on his radio show (the founder of Hawkins AV club! <3). We learn that he actually has an adopted sister, Patty Newby. She’s black, so she feels like an outsider (bear in mind it’s the 1950s/60s, so… yeah.) Principle Newby, their father and only remaining parent, is also very religious. 

He’s also the pastor (?) at the local church, and often makes Patty go to the church with him. She admits to Bob that she only likes to go to listen in on people’s confessions (some of which are really juicy). She also enjoys the choir there (?) as she likes to sing.  

Principal Newby doesn’t like that Bob and Patty read comic books. There’s talk about how some things are discouraged or outright forbidden because they involve sex (gasp!) and morally ambiguous behaviour. Patty in particular is looked down on by her father for acting rebellious. He disapproves of her answering him back. 

Instead of praying to God, Patty prays to Wonder Woman.

One of the first sections in the show’s programme is dedicated to the impact of comic books and science fiction on kids in the 1950s:

[This has always been the way with fiction. Whether you are talking about adventure, fantasy or sci-fi, stories set in faraway places reflect the anxieties of the here and now. Just as the children in Stranger Things turn to a fantasy game to help them make imaginative sense of a dangerous world, so we escape to alien landscapes to think about ourselves. As South Africa novelist Lauren Beukes once said, “By imagining the unimaginable, it’s possible to make reality more bearable.”]

[As Patty in Stranger Things: The First Shadow is aware, however, whether male or female, superheroes were almost exclusively white. Unless you happened to get hold of a copy of All-Negro Comics, published in 1947 by Black journalist Orrin Cromwell Evans, Black children would not see themselves represented in popular culture.]

[... in this age of technological advance and political uncertainty, [comic books] provided the thrills, the escapism and the imaginative fuel that audiences, young and old, needed more than ever.”] - Mark Fisher

Next, we’re introduced to Joyce. She’s Joyce Maldonado at this point. She’s half undressed and trying to find her clothes, obviously fooling around with Lonnie Byers, who is already talking down to her in a very casual way, telling her she’ll never amount to anything and that she’ll never leave Hawkins like she dreams of. It was another example of only physical attraction existing between two characters - there’s little to no emotional compatibility there. I sort of had the vibe that the scene was effectively introducing Joyce and Lonnie’s unequal power dynamics as they are in the show moving forwards. Lonnie sits with his legs encasing Joyce as they both sit on a mattress, and she’s visibly vulnerable in her bra, listening to him say these casually demeaning things to her. 

Joyce wants to direct the school play, although she’s pretending to Principal Newby that they’re doing Oklahoma. Oklahoma will serve as a smokescreen for the real play she wants to direct: The Dark of the Moon. This has its own page in the programme too: 

[From the depths of Scottish folklore to the Broadway stage, the journey of The Dark of the Moon is as shrouded in mystery and intrigue as the contents of the piece itself. Over the course of several hundred years, the story evolved from humble beginnings (The Ballad of Barbara Allen) into something rather darker and more brooding than its simpler folktale roots.] [In its original versions, it seems to have been an innocent, if tragic, ballad about a young man who dies of unrequited love, only for the grief-stricken object of his affection to follow him to the grave. There, they become a rose and a briar respectively, destined to be intertwined for all eternity.] - The Creel House front door, anyone?

[In 1939, it had somehow become part of the Appalachian mountain lore of the north-eastern USA… [sometimes] with a central theme of divorce rather than death. But perhaps its oddest reincarnation is as a regular feature in the annual school play catalogue across the United States… retitled The Dark of the Moon, the play recasts Barbara Allen as a young maiden desired by a witch boy whose request to be made human is granted on the condition that she is faithful to him for a year. When that condition is tested to destruction, tragedy naturally (or unnaturally) ensues. The play is rich with allegory, including themes as knotty as religious fanaticism, demonic possession and mob psychology, and with its plot of star-crossed lovers meeting across the divide between this world and a mystical parallel one, it’s a kind of Gothic Romeo and Juliet.]  -Michael Davies

In the next few scenes we’re introduced to a whole host of characters as they come into the high school, and eventually gather around for the casting of Joyce’s play:

Ted Wheeler, school jock, Mr Popular. Very much a ‘peaked in high school’ vibe. 🙈

Karen Childress, Ted’s popular cheerleader girlfriend. Ted and Karen are depicted as two teens who can barely keep their hands off each other. They constantly make out. It’s suggested that Karen is only dating him because he’s popular and um… well-endowed. 

Walter Henderson (who must be Dustin’s dad) is a total dick. He’s openly racist towards Patty at one point, earning him glares and snappy remarks from both of the Sinclairs who are present at the time. Patty has a horrible nickname at school, “mystery meat”, because of her unknown origins. But it’s clear with Walter's comments that her race also plays a factor in her general ostracisation. 

Claudia Yount (Dustin’s Mom). She has a cat called Prancer, and is dating Walter. I thought it was very fan-servicey to include Dustin’s parents at all, because we know canonically that Dustin and his mom only moved to Hawkins when he was 4th Grade. So I guess Claudia and Walter moved away, had Dustin elsewhere, then Claudia came back to Hawkins again with Dustin after Walter had left/divorced her?? 

Sue and Charles Sinclair. Again, it was a cute Easter Egg to include them, but all the parents of the OG boys being there felt very fan-servicey - especially with them all already being coupled up in high school. It felt too unrealistic and a bit jarring. I’m choosing to take this as they were literally intended as cute little Easter Eggs, and as prime opportunity for comedic relief (e.g. seeing Ted Wheeler as a total player, in total opposition to the Ted we know). 

Alan Munson. He’s a little strange and quirky, a lot like Eddie. He has a rock and roll vibe, and sticks out his tongue and does devil horns with his fingers, lol. The others don’t seem to know what to make of him, but there’s no animosity or anything. He’s really funny in all his scenes.

And of course, Jim Hopper Junior. To me, Young Hopper was like… a weird mixture of old Hopper from the show, and Steve! The actor did a great job, but yeah, it was giving Steve more than Hopper in some places (to me, at least). I don't know if this was intentional.

Hopper has some dad issues - his father is the chief of police, and they don’t get on. There’s a whole scene later on in the show where they even have a physical fight in the police station (although this isn’t depicted super seriously, and is actually part of a larger comedic section that involves some of the other cops in the station getting involved for laughs. At the end, Hopper and his dad sort of come to an agreement.) It’s kind of slapstick. They’re all falling over each other, and there’s even a part where one male cop falls against another face forward onto a desk, and it’s pretty suggestive (one is sort of mounted behind the other). Idk if this was supposed to be a standard ‘gay joke’ just for lols, or if it was more that the cops had an unexpected ‘moment’ together (they take a while to part from each other, and then they avoid each other’s eyes, so… idk). Just something I noticed happening off to the side.

Anyway, back to Act 1. We’re taken away from Hawkins High to outside the Creel house, and introduced to the Creels moving into Hawkins, just like they appear in the show’s flashbacks. They’ve moved from Nevada, and the reason they’ve moved is because something had happened with Henry, and this is meant to be a new start - it’s left ambiguous as to what exactly happened, but there’s mention of a kid that had been ‘left in a wheelchair’. 

At first, Virginia Creel seems somewhat loving towards her son, hugging and kissing him and trying to act ‘normal’, but she’s clearly unsettled by him. Henry is unpredictable, and almost seems to switch between different personalities: one that’s familiar, shy but friendly, and one that quickly rages and turns violent. 

Whilst it’s not explained WHY yet, we clearly see that Henry is somehow ALREADY under the influence of the Mind Flayer - and that he has powers.

Virginia becomes more and more openly terrified of Henry as the play goes on. Meanwhile, Victor Creel is generally absent the whole time as he’s dealing with his own ‘demons’ (severe PTSD from the war). People in Hawkins think he’s odd and weird. Remember that nobody understands PTSD at this point in time. 

Again, we get a spread in the programme about this: “These are the tranquilized fifties… the legacy of trauma in post-war America”:

[It is very likely that Corporal Victor Creel, 9th Airforce, missed the birth of his son Henry in 1945… Getting their bodies back to the US would be a huge undertaking… getting their minds home would be another problem, and one which no-one had thought to predict.] [Victor Creel is a familiar figure to us now: shellshocked, prone to outbursts, turning to alcohol to numb his trauma… what to do with the man who has seen atrocities - who is in himself a living testament to the fact that they exist, that they happen - who, in Victor’s case, may even have committed them himself? The answer was to bury him. Though shellshock was first given its name in the aftermath of the First World War… there was no widespread study of PTSD until after the Vietnam War, even though more than double the amount of American soldiers showed symptoms of PTSD during WW2 than WW1… Those suffering on the front were sedated and told they were exhausted… once they made it home, they were told not to talk about it: that they were lucky to be alive.]

[One response in particular would have been familiar to the Creels - the child who becomes aloof from their father, and who disengages from the emotional life of the family… Much like Jim Hopper and his father, there was often immense love between these children and their fathers, but they had no way to talk about the pain they were feeling.] -Beth Kelly

Henry is clearly lonely and feels misunderstood when he first moves to Hawkins. It’s like he’s aware that there’s a darker side of him that’s dangerous, but he can’t fully explain why he does certain things (e.g whatever he did to the kid left in a wheelchair). There’s a scene where he sees the smoke of the Mindflayer swirling around him in the void, and he yells, "What are you??"

He’s the new kid at Hawkins High. People at school think he’s strange. They’re not necessarily cruel to him, but they’re not really sure how to take him either. Joyce is pleasant to him. But the only person he really connects with is Patty Newby - who we know is also a bit of an outsider at the school because of her peculiar origins and skin colour.

It’s clear there is an instant connection between Henry and Patty. Henry in particular is obviously crushing on Patty, and acts awkward around her. They bond over their love of comic books, and decide to be friends. 

Anyway - back to Joyce’s play. So the reason she wants to direct the play in the first place is to impress some visitors from a university, so she can achieve a scholarship to study theatre outside of Hawkins. 

It involves “witches, satanism, religious allegory”. Lots of things that Principal Newby would definitely disapprove of (hence why she pretends that they’re doing Oklahoma). 

Joyce talks about the overarching message: “That’s what it’s all about in the end, isn’t it? Whether love can conquer fear.” (paraphrased). I think that was perhaps a really meta moment, and applies to THIS play and even Stranger Things as a whole.

Also there was something like, “they’re witches, not lesbians!”/ “They were witches as well as lesbians”… “Does it matter?” (again, paraphrasing, I can’t recall the actual lines, and I think this was either said at this point by Joyce and someone else, or a conversation that happened earlier between Bob and Patty when they were talking about a comic or story they had read. I’m sorry, I can’t remember!) But I thought it could be a reference to the Fear Street trilogy, maybe. I was on the lookout for any kind of LGBTQ+ imagery or dialogue, and yet my brain still managed to forget details by the end of it all (Act 1 needed to be 20 minutes longer, seriously. They went through so much dialogue so quickly, it was difficult to keep up. I feel like I need to see the whole thing again to properly take it all in).

Maybe I was tripping, or maybe I misheard, but I thought there was also a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it line about “the ending is happy and gay”. I wish my brain would have held onto those lines, but it happened so quickly. Something like, “the ending will be happy and gay”… “isn’t that what everyone wants?” Now, I’m certain they meant ‘gay’ as in ‘happy’ in the context, but I couldn’t help but side-eye that moment a little because it’s an outdated term in today’s language. It was, I believe, a quick exchange between Joyce and… I want to say Bob? Or possibly Walter? I honestly cannot remember. I'm begging people not to run away with this because it’s also totally possible that it was said in a derivative sense, like, “this story is dark, gothic and tragic... not happy and gay”, you know? "That's what everyone wants, right?" "Maybe, but this ends in tragedy." I really hope someone, ANYONE else caught these lines, and can give me their own two cents on it. (Curse my shit memory and also just how FAST those lines were coming at us during those scenes in Act 1… like guys, please slow down so I can actually take in what you’re saying!) 

Anyway. Joyce is having trouble casting the main leads, John and Barbara Allen, as the two are lovers and will need to kiss, and nobody seems to have the right chemistry or is taking it seriously enough. 

At one point, Karen (acting as the female lead) confidently and passionately kisses Bob (acting the male lead), who’s awkward and flustered afterwards (this is done for the audience lols). 

After hearing her beautiful singing voice (encouraged by Henry), Joyce decides to cast Patty as her female lead. Meanwhile Henry has unwittingly found himself in this room along with everyone, and accidentally gets involved in the casting process. Joyce sees that Patty and Henry have chemistry together, so she decides to cast Henry as her male lead too. 

Henry and Patty grow closer. Henry tells Patty that he’s bad, and she should stay away from him. She doesn’t listen, and says just because someone has done some bad things, it doesn’t make them a bad person.

At one point they sit side by side by the confessional at church. Henry admits to her that he has powers. He tells Patty that he can hear what people are thinking - all the time. It drives him crazy (and says people are always ‘pretending’ to be normal. The vibe is very much in tune with his speech in Season 4 about how everyone is just in a silly little play, all playing pretend with each other, all trapped in these notions of living their lives in a way that society thinks is acceptable or desirable).

As an example later on in a separate scene, he points to Karen and Ted and tells Patty, “she thinks he’s an idiot, and he’s scared of her.” He points to more characters in this scene and says more about them (like Claudia and Walter, Sue and Charles, maybe even Joyce and Hopper?) but unfortunately I can only remember Ted and Karen’s. 

Patty convinces Henry that his powers are not evil, and that he should be able to control them and use them for good. Henry then creates a "vision" for Patty, where she can freely sing with people listening, and everyone around her joins in and appreciates her talent (I think she sings "Dream a Little Dream of Me"? Unless this happens later on. There’s definitely a moment where she sings a bit of that song. Henry associates it with Patty.)

In this vision, even Patty's father is supportive of her and her singing, and it’s quite a funny moment how she imagines him dressed in a saucy red cape, dancing in a way that he *definitely* wouldn’t approve of in real life.

So it seems Henry is actually able to show people their dreams as well as their nightmares. It suggests his powers are his own at this point (at least to an extent), and not necessarily always controlled by the Mind Flayer. 

Victor sees Henry talking to Patty at school, and mentions this to Virginia. He describes it as “harmless, just Puppy Love”, a first crush. 

Virginia is still worried, and tells Henry to stay away from Patty (for her protection). Henry gets angry. We keep hearing his voice change when he changes, like a deep, monstrous voice. It’s creepy, like it’s not really him in those moments - it’s like the Mindflayer using Henry’s body, speaking through him. 

While in the attic (his new favourite spot), Henry keeps becoming influenced by the Mind Flayer. He travels to the void frequently, from where he proceeds to start killing animals - the first of which is Dustin’s mom’s cat. It’s just like the Vecna attacks in Season 4, snapping their bones and blinding them. 

Henry seems to be aware that he’s the one responsible for these killings, and he keeps on going back to the attic, and the void, to keep doing it - but it’s unclear just how aware or remorseful he is about all this, or whether it’s 100% possessed!Henry during those moments. It certainly seems like it’s the Mindflayer making him want to do those things. When he first approaches Prancer, he’s friendly, calm and softly-spoken. The attack happens very suddenly and afterwards, I think Henry sort of ‘comes to’ and cries out in distress/remorse? 

Either way, Henry is definitely under the Mind Flayer's control at that point, and you can see the Mind Flayer smoke flying around in the void next to him. 

After Claudia’s cat turns up dead, Hopper is immediately on the case, wanting to find the culprit. He starts questioning people, and ends up approaching Henry at school.

I want to clear Hopper’s name in something here! I saw someone say that, in the play, it’s stated that Hopper says he hates cats. Whilst this *is* something Hopper tells Henry at this point, it was clear to me that Hopper was only playing mind games in the way an investigator will try to get a suspected criminal to confess: ‘The truth is, I hate cats. So I actually just want to shake the hand of the person who did it - they’re a hero in my book!’ He’s totally bluffing, and it’s just meant to show that he’s already thinking and working like a detective. Regardless, the tactic doesn’t work, and Henry brushes him off. Hopper remains none the wiser. 

When more animals start being killed in the same way, Hopper is the one who figures out that they’re all pets of Hawkins High School students who are taking part in Joyce’s play. He goes to her to request her help, and she and Bob both end up going out to look for clues with him (complete with torches, this gave major Season 1 vibes). 

Joyce and Hopper’s relationship is mostly antagonistic, but it’s clear they like each other and they flirt a bit. Meanwhile Bob admires Joyce from afar, wanting only to impress her and to find the courage to tell her how he really feels. There's some love triangle imagery throughout with where they stand. (Note: Bob does eventually admit to Joyce how he feels at the end, but she casually rebuffs him. I'm so glad they eventually ended up together because Bob was just too pure.)

Henry continues to be haunted by images of a monster reflected back at him in a mirror. I think we’re meant to take that as a representation of Mind Flayer!possessed Henry. He’s clearly afraid of himself, and what he’s capable of. 

The Mind Flayer appears to him as Patty, and taunts him by saying cruel things, like saying that he will end up killing her. In the vision, Patty starts pulling off her own hair until we see her brain. We hear a deep monstrous voice taunting Henry, saying he “will kill many, many more” - that they have seen it happen, and it is his destiny. (Time travel hints? The Mind Flayer can apparently see into his future, unless this was just an empty taunt that unfortunately came true, or a self-fulfilling prophecy). 

[Evidently, there’s something deeply disturbing at the heart of the human psyche about the possibility of uncovering the horrific within itself. When that horror is externalised… it creates a symbolic representation of our own nightmares, perhaps allowing us to tackle them more objectively and overcome those dark, disturbing impulses within us all.] 

[By investing fictional creations with the qualities we most fear - the horrifying, animalistic sides of our nature - we can, perhaps, face them more objectively and convince ourselves that we do, ultimately, have control over them… and ourselves.]

[... Perhaps the monster we fear most is the one we see reflected in the mirror. As Professor Mulrooney puts it: “The monsters in these tales are not necessarily the people we would call the monsters - Frankenstein’s creature or Dracula. The scariest part of these books is the humans.”] -Michael Davies 

The real Patty then interrupts the vision, and asks Henry if he can help her find her mother using his powers. He’s wary of doing so, but agrees to help her. He says she will have to come with him to his attic. 

Once inside, Patty tells him that it’s cold in there. Henry says he likes it cold. 

When Henry enters the void, he successfully locates Patty’s mom. She’s a singer, a show girl, working on a stage in Vegas. Patty asks him what she looks like. Henry says she looks like Patty. That she’s beautiful.

Suddenly, he loses control, and is once again visited by the Mind Flayer. Patty’s mom morphs into a terrifying figure who chases Henry through the void… and eventually catches him. 

We see the Mindflayer going into Henry inside the void, very similar to Will in Season 2 on the school field. (This happens either at this moment, or in a flashback at another point of the play. But it’s at some point!!) I think this was showing us that whoever Henry was, he’s fast disappearing into the darkness of the Mind Flayer, and vice versa - it’s like a fusion. 

Meanwhile, Mr Newby learns that Patty and Henry have been hanging out together a lot. He’s greatly displeased by this, and decides to go to the Creel House to fetch Patty and put an end to the budding romance. Romeo and Juliet vibes be vibing hard.

Downstairs, he speaks to Victor Creel, who is having a PTSD related episode and acting strangely. He says his wife believes the house is haunted by an ancient demon, and with everything that’s happened (and by how the lights keep flashing), he’s beginning to believe her. He feels like his demons have followed him from the war. 

Mr Newby then overhears the commotion from upstairs, and goes up to investigate. In the attic, Henry is holding Patty’s hand very tightly. He’s twitching and yelling as he fights against the Mind Flayer’s possession, and this frightens Patty. When her father walks in, he demands that Patty lets go of Henry’s hand. She tries, but he’s holding on too tightly. “I can’t!” Patty cries out.

Mr Newby is then attacked by Henry, controlled by the Mind Flayer. His body starts to rise up. Patty encourages Henry to fight back by telling him that she believes he is good, and that she loves him.

“Say it back!” she pleads to him. “Say it back!”

Henry responds and says he loves her too. Because of the love exchange, he manages to momentarily break out of the Mind Flayer’s control: Mr Newby drops to the floor, alive but badly injured. 

Joyce, Hopper and Bob were downstairs at this point, having followed radio anomalies to the Creel House (which they did via a machine that Bob built for them). They freak out and run away, and all come to the conclusion that creepy, crazy Victor Creel is the one responsible for Mr Newby’s injuries, as well as the string of violent animal deaths. 

[Joyce has some basis for believing Victor capable of violent crime, based as this may be in her own father’s war experience… When Joyce opens her copy of the DSM, first published in 1952, she will find no entry for PTSD… Instead, the symptoms she might recognise from her father were incorporated into depression or schizophrenia, rather than their own diagnosis. Short of a name for what they were suffering, traumatised veterans were left to find their own way through nightmares - through violence, alcohol or isolation.]  -Beth Kelly (from the Stranger Things: The First Shadow programme)

After the commotion, Henry removes his blindfold. Patty's father has broken through the attic floor, and he’s seriously injured. Patty is very afraid and upset. After a brief time skip (to the next day or two I think), we learn that Patty is staying away from Henry, who is worried that he’s ruined everything. The Mind Flayer starts to creep back in. We see a possessed Henry back in the attic, and Virginia comes up to him and says that she wants to help him, but she doesn’t know how. She reminds him that he needs to stay away from people to protect them. She talks about Patty, telling Henry that he shouldn’t see her anymore.

Possessed!Henry smirks and asks her if she’s jealous. There’s something insidious and disturbing in the way he asks it. Virginia recoils from her son and her “everything-is-going-to-be-okay” facade crumbles. We see she’s absolutely terrified of who Henry has become.

Henry creates a vision, so that it appears as though his pet spiders escape from their jars, and they run all over Virginia as she screams. She flees from the attic as Henry’s dark taunts follow her.

Henry’s sister Alice comes to the mouth of the attic. "Where is Henry?" She asks.

Henry: "He’s right here."

Alice: "You’re not him."

At this point, it was like the Mindflayer had almost completely merged with Henry. The lines had become more and more blurred as the play went on, and now it’s becoming hard to separate them - the ‘real’ Henry is finding it hard to come through and fight the possession. The Mind Flayer is winning. 

This really reminded me of Will and his own possession with the Mindflayer in Season 2. How they described it like a virus taking over, and how Will could have continued ‘disappearing’ until there was no more Will left. 

After the incident with Mr Newby, and her terror with Henry in the attic, Virginia has finally had enough. She willingly hands her son over to an “interested party” who describes himself as a doctor (who we know is Dr Brenner). He vows to take Henry to Hawkins Lab, where he’ll be safe, and contained. 

When he wakes up in the hospital, Mr Newby reveals to Patty that he actually stole her as a baby (?) in an effort to revive his relationship with his wife by having another child to care for - but it didn’t work, and his wife left him. He feels guilty about it, and wants to confess this to her after he almost died.

He tells her that he was attacked by a monster who made him relive his worst nightmares, and that “the boy”, Henry, actually fought back and saved him from death. He then draws the Mind Flayer on a piece of paper, hands it to his daughter, and tells her that this is what he saw.

After learning that Henry actually saved her father, Patty returns to his house to search for him, but it’s too late - Dr. Brenner has already taken him to the lab. However, she is able to communicate by calling out to him.

Henry contacts Patty through the void, where she is able to both speak and see him, despite him being at the lab. She tells him that she knows he is still a good person, and that he should return home.

———

Act 2.

On screen:

Chapter Two: Captain Midnight

So here’s the thing - the play paints us a totally different picture than Season 4 did in regards to Henry/Vecna. 

Henry was not inherently evil, like S4 suggested to many people - he was actually just a regular boy until ‘an incident’ occurred when he was younger, which is what gave him powers and started his possession in the first place. The end of S4 makes us think that El sent Henry to the Upside Down, which is where he meets the shadow monster and morphs it into the Mind Flayer with his powers.

But that wasn’t Henry’s first time there, nor was it the first time he saw the Mind Flayer. That was all just a REUNION.

It’s revealed that Henry actually disappeared into another dimension (Dimension X/ Upside Down) for a period of 12 hours when he was just a kid. He got lost near some caves in the Nevada desert, and when he returned, he had "completely changed in personality". 

He came back odd, ‘not normal’, and couldn’t socialise well. He also returned with dangerous powers, which he violently inflicts on animals. The Mind Flayer had clearly started possessing him from that early point, way before he even came to Hawkins. 

Let’s go back to the very beginning of the play - to the soldiers on the ship. It was Brenner’s father and his crew that were aboard this ship, the USS Eldridge, which had accidentally travelled into Dimension X/The Upside Down as a result of electromagnetic activity. 

This is based on The Philadelphia Experiment, or Project Rainbow, said to have taken place in the Second World War. The programme had a double spread on this: 

[Allegedly, wartime experiments caused the supernatural disappearance of a US naval ship… Project Rainbow was based on Einstein’s research into unified field theory through which [he] hoped to create a single theoretical framework to encompass all fundamental forces, including electromagnetism and gravity.] 

[Carl Allen claimed to have witnessed a strange event in October 1943 involving the naval destroyer escort USS Eldridge and scientists who were working on highly confidential technology which would make ships invisible to the enemy by using powerful electromagnetic fields to ‘bend’ light around them. According to Allen, they succeeded in doing just that. In fact, Allen said the ship was also briefly teleported 275 miles away to Norfolk, Virginia, before reappearing in Philadelphia. …It’s been suggested that the Eldridge’s official logs could have been deliberately altered… with the whole of Project Rainbow moving beyond top secret clarification.]  -Catherine Jones

Brenner’s father is the only survivor of this terrifying event. After returning from Dimension X and taken to a hospital, injured and dying, we learn that his blood type is now “unique” from any other human being. He won't survive a blood transfusion. His ravings about Dimension X before his death haunted and inspired Brenner for the rest of his life. Brenner started an experiment focused on finding and travelling back to Dimension X; his ultimate goal was to "create a gate" to reach it again.

Brenner enacted these experiments in the Nevada desert, where one day, one of his agents ran away with some of Brenner’s equipment near some desert caves. The agent was never found, but a Captain Midnight spyglass was - which was the exact spot where Henry went missing in Dimension X as a little boy for 12 hours. Brenner therefore began searching for the mysterious Captain Midnight comic-book fan who went to Dimension X and returned, watching him and keeping an eye on him. This is what led him to Hawkins: following Henry. 

Brenner tells us that Henry’s powers emerged after he visited Dimension X, and just like his father, his blood type is “unique”. He collects several samples from him. He also tells Henry that his powers become stronger each time he kills, and that’s why he gets so much satisfaction out of it. Brenner also tells Henry that he would get even stronger if he kills human beings, rather than animals.

During one scene, Brenner uses special equipment to see into and hear Henry's mind. He pushes Henry to the limit so he can hear and catch a glimpse of Dimension X. We hear noises similar to the Mind Flayer in Season 2 when Will goes into the Upside Down on Halloween night. The shape of the Mind Flayer appears on the screen (or was it the head of a Demogorgon? It was definitely something Upside-Downy), while Henry convulses. After this incident, Henry asks Brenner, “Can you take me back there?" 

Brenner also introduces the idea of anger to fuel Henry's power. On several instances he riles Henry up to get him angry, insulting him - and the result is always violence. He succeeds in getting Henry to kill a mouse/rat, which explodes into a bloody mess inside its cage, and then tries to convince him to kill a criminal who has been transferred to the lab with an agreement to be killed (he has a date with the electric chair later that week regardless). 

Henry refuses. He’s been speaking to Patty in the void, who has convinced him that he’s good and that he should return home. Brenner is frustrated with this, and becomes sure that Henry has someone that is "holding him back". He vows to find and remove this obstacle. But after Henry leaves the lab, Brenner tells his agents to let him go. He cannot force Henry to kill. “It has to be his choice."

Brenner is shown to have significant influence over Virginia. He’s been providing her with medication/tranquilisers, and tells her that her son desperately needs his help. He encourages Virginia to tell him who the person Henry is attached to. She does. Brenner promises her that he will take Henry back into the lab and that he won’t leave again. 

After Henry returns home, he reads his family's minds and learns that they are all afraid of him and unhappy with his return. He goes into his mother's memories and learns of the last interaction she had with Brenner, including that she wonders if he “may never have been good”, and whether "this was who he was the whole time." He knows that she was willing to give him up to Brenner forever. 

This is when the Creel murders happen, just like they’re shown in Season 4. Virginia Creel and Alice Creel are both murdered at the dinner table - and we know Victor is going to be blamed for it.

Is this Henry’s own mind now, turned to darkness and hate, or is it the Mind Flayer intent on eliminating all of Henry’s attachments? A monster who’s made a monster. I think it’s all left open to interpretation on purpose. 

After the death of his mother and sister, Henry goes straight to Hawkins High to find Patty, hoping to reach her before Brenner does. While at the school, he runs into Joyce, who voices to him her suspicions surrounding the animal killings, and what happened to Mr Newby at the Creel House.

At first, Henry thinks Joyce has worked it out, and that she knows it was him all along. “I wish you hadn’t done that…” he says, stepping closer. But Joyce clarifies just in time that she believes Henry’s father is the one who is dangerous, and that she believes he’s responsible for the terrible things that've happened in Hawkins recently. Maybe this is what gives Henry the idea to frame his father. Either way, he leaves Joyce alive. 

Both Brenner and Henry find Patty on the stage rafters, up on a high catwalk, ready to perform her part in the play. She’s initially wearing a set of wings as a prop, which are attached to the rafter to be lowered. Henry unties her from these wings, pleading with her to run away with him. An argument ensues with Brenner, where he attempts to convince Henry that Patty is his weakness, and that he needs to kill her to let her go. Patty tells Henry not to listen to him. 

During this argument, Henry loses control once more, and the Mind Flayer takes over. This results in Patty slow-motion falling from the rafters as the shape of the Mind Flayer overwhelms the stage. She hits the floor on her back, presumed dead. 

(The stage effects for this particular scene were absolutely incredible, by the way.)

Henry is later seen back at the lab. He’s fully subdued, confined to a straitjacket, mouth gagged, and sat in a wheelchair. Brenner says the implant (Soteria) is in, about to take effect.

If we believe what Season 4 showed us, the play skipped the part where Henry appeared dead alongside his mother and sister (just before Victor is then blamed and incarcerated at Pennhurst Asylum). So assuming that Brenner played a part in covering up Henry’s involvement in the Creel murders, Henry is presumed dead by the town at this point too. Unfortunately the play doesn’t address this, as instead we see Henry run immediately from the dinner table murder scene, straight to Hawkins High to find Patty. It’s a big inconsistency which I guess they want us to explain away with Henry being an “unreliable narrator” in the show. I guess he gave Nancy the abridged version of what happened!

Anyway, it appears that Henry later finds Patty in the void, despite Brenner telling him that he killed her. It seems she has successfully left Hawkins and found her mother in Las Vegas, just as she always dreamed of doing. She uses a walking stick, but otherwise appears alive and well. 

We hear and see static as Henry watches the scene unfold, and Patty glances over her shoulder, like she senses him. But then she turns her back and walks into the distance with her mother. 

An alternative take that I heard from someone, was that perhaps Patty is truthfully still seriously injured and is actually in a coma (similar to Max). They thought that maybe the final scene of Patty with her mother was actually just something that Henry was creating for her in her mind, as a sort of last semblance of goodness and love. I don’t think that’s what was intended, but it was an interesting take that I wanted to include! 

As the show nears its end, we’re presented with a series of newspaper articles relaying the tragic Creel Murders in Hawkins (possibly the same ones that Nancy and Robin find in Season 4). The Creel family all dead, Victor is blamed and sent to the asylum. The empty Creel House remains, a reminder of the horrors. It then shifts back to Hawkins lab, who are now recruiting pregnant women for experimentation. 

Brenner introduces a pregnant woman to Henry (who is still bound to a chair and fully subdued) and explains to him that the "blood transfusion" finally worked on a subject. He points to the woman's belly and remarks, “One, meet Two!" “You are as much a father to them as I am,” Brenner says at one point. Then, “Come… meet your brothers and sisters.” Even though we know Henry is not in any way related to the lab kids, they definitely played into the father/guardian/creator metaphor in the play. If not family by blood, then by circumstance. 

We see photos of the babies created in the lab, with their numbers underneath. We can recognise Eight as young Kali. Eventually we get to Ten, at which point the stage focuses on a now older Henry, wearing his recognisable Season 4 orderly outfit. He kneels beside a child with buzzed hair. 

"Hello, Eleven. Come with me.” He takes her by the hand, and they walk into the distance together. 

———

Some final thoughts:

Because of the incident with Patty during Joyce's play, we can infer that's why she is unsuccessful in her goal to impress the university, and remains stuck in Hawkins - just like Lonnie said she would.

Lonnie is awful, and I’m in two minds about how he’s handled in the play. They did a good job to show he’s always been a douchebag, and unlike what I’ve seen some people say, I actually think it was horribly believable that Joyce (who they establish likes 'bad boys') ends up going back to him and having kids with him. We know from Season 1 that there’s emotional abuse with Joyce and Lonnie, and to me, it makes horrible, horrible sense that it all ends up the way it does. I’m just not sure how I feel about Lonnie being used as any kind of comedic effect in the play (he makes a brief reappearance at the police station, where he’s been lying drunkenly handcuffed on some chairs the whole time during a scene... “It wasn’t me! I didn’t do it!" he says, or something to that effect). I feel like using him in that way diminishes how truly awful he is as a character. Maybe I’m just being too sensitive, but I’d much rather they had kept all the laughs and jokes for the other characters, and treated Lonnie completely seriously the whole way through. I don’t want to see him in any way ‘likeable’ or ‘relatable’ or ‘funny’, you know? Not even for cheap audience laughs. This is a guy who called his own kid son a f*g. Let's treat that with the gravity and solemnity it deserves, please.

Louis McCartney and Ella Karuna Williams as Henry Creel and Patty were great, and Isabella Pappas as Joyce was amazing. Dr Brenner was nicely emulated by Patrick Vaill (I personally think he was one of the most believable characters from stage to show). The best performance of all though was Christopher Buckley as Bob. Like, damn, give that kid all the awards! He was so believable as a young Bob, I actually forgot it wasn’t somehow a young Sean Astin on stage. *chef’s kiss*

As previously mentioned, all the parents of the kids are present in the play (and already coupled up). None of these characters are particularly fleshed out, and I think they’re mainly just there as fun ‘Easter Eggs’ to connect it with the show. E.g having Claudia own another cat that gets killed, seeing Ted Wheeler ironically as some kind of jock god who gets all the ladies (and cheats on Karen with, by the way!), Joyce holding an axe prop near the end mid-rant (“Why am I holding this??”) and Hopper making a remark about breaking his own foot (which he does in Season 4). 

They definitely seemed to be going back on the whole ‘it was Henry/Vecna the whole time’ thing from Season 4: the Mind Flayer has been pulling the strings from way before El sent Henry to Dimension X/Upside Down. We even see the Mind Flayer in the shape of a giant eldritch spider during the play, way before Henry appears to ‘shape’ it in Season 4. However, I think it’s also possible that Henry DID actually manage to take control of the Mind Flayer the second time he arrived in Dimension X (as we see at the end of S4). At that point, he’s killed all the lab kids and staff at Hawkins Lab, so he will be much more powerful now compared to the Henry from the play. By now he’s completely embraced the Mind Flayer’s philosophy, and is acting in its stead entirely on his own volition. Honestly? I think they’re going to leave it ambiguous on purpose. I think that’s why the play is technically canon, but totally not necessary before seeing Season 5. I think Henry and the Mindflayer are 'one' (lol) at this point - I think that’s what Vecna technically is. He’s like an amalgamation of this terrifying eldritch being that we can never begin to understand, but at the same time also something that is still deeply, deeply human.

The Henry side of him seems to be lost, but in a way Brenner was right - his feelings for Patty, whether ‘Puppy Love’ or real - was his one redeeming weakness in his early teen years. Judging from the play, I think it’s possible we might see a tragic sort of redemption moment in S5 (which I personally have mixed feelings about). But I do believe the play is supposed to be entirely separate, and that it’s possible Patty will continue not to be mentioned or relevant in the show (I hope I’m wrong). I just can’t help but be cautious in assuming the Mind Flayer is still the one in control after what they set up at the end of Season 4 (especially with Will saying, “it’s weird to know who it was this whole time” re: his own kidnapping and possession). I think Henry has become his darkest self as Vecna.

Speaking of Will… there were noticeably a LOT of parallels with him in Henry. Henry wears pretty much exactly Will’s outfit from Season 4, yellow tones with beige and brown. Meanwhile Patty wears a blue cardigan and a blue dress - at least in Act 1. I’m not hugely into the blue-and-yellow thing in a serious way, but even I noticed there were blue and yellow motifs for Henry and Patty. She wears a bright yellow top with her blue cardigan at one point too. I think there was definitely a mixture of both Will and El in Henry’s character.

Meanwhile Patty had noticeable similarities to Mike. She’s rebellious, outspoken, loves comic books, and worships superheroes.

Seeing the play hasn’t impacted my beliefs or hopes for Byler in any way. I think there are potentially good things to be taken from the writing, and potentially bad things too. My current confidence has neither been raised nor lowered, but what I will say is that it’s undeniable that the Henry x Patty relationship mirrors both Mileven and Byler, but especially Mileven. Hentty is obviously a star-crossed tragedy, deliberately set up like Romeo and Juliet, which we know is NEVER a good thing. I do find it interesting that their love confessions were an exchange, unlike Mike’s monologue. Patty is the one ‘present’, whilst Henry is the one trapped in the void with his eyes closed/blindfold on. It’s a high stakes moment. Patty tells Henry in desperation that she loves him, but she follows this up by pleading with him to say it back. I didn’t see anyone else talking about this, but it really stood out to me.

The play’s themes and messages still reflected what I believe the show to be about: rejecting forced conformity (it dealt with people’s ideas about what it means to be “normal” to fit in, about sex not being taboo, harmful black and white morality, and the damage that can occur from enforcing religious dogma)... and of course, like Joyce said, that love will ultimately conquer fear. Over and out!

[This kind of introspection throws up unsettling and complex ideas about the nature of human morality. What does it mean to be human? Who gets to decide who is “other”? How do we treat those who are different from us? These are huge issues, and far too esoteric for most of us to deal with in abstract. So the way we choose to explore them is in stories.] - Michael Davies

[charcubed]

I have thoughts on Benedict Bridgerton's future.

Spoilers for Bridgerton season 3 below.

Have I read the Bridgerton books? No. Have I seen the show? No. Can I mind my own business? Also no! And I’ve been on queer Benedict watch since day one because I am who I am as a person and my sister looped me into this because she knows how I am!

So with that in mind… fuck it. Here’s my half theory, half pitch for what I’d love to see them do with Benedict now that he’s gloriously explicitly pansexual (and THANK GOD FOR THAT) based on what I know of his story. [Side note: this post originally called him bi but I've edited it to reflect that he's confirmed to be pan]

-I’m aware his love / endgame in the books is Sophie. Considering what they’re now doing with Francesca and Michaela (FUCKING LOOOOOVE THAT!! THANK GOD FOR THAT TOO!!!!!), I strongly doubt they’d gender-bend Sophie for Benedict.

-I’m also vaguely aware of Sophie’s story being like a Cinderella redux and her being an illegitimate child.

-With that (very) baseline knowledge in mind, + how the show has so far handled Benedict… I have a vision.

-Let Benedict and Sophie fall in love and be committed to one another.

-Let them also both be pan or bi.

-And let them be polyamorous.

-HEAR ME OUT!

-There are 2 big reasons I say this:

-The first is that they’ve had Benedict describe his newfound pansexuality and queer joy as feeling “free” (love that so much), and crucially he also told Tilley he didn’t want to close the door on that feeling of freedom quite yet through any commitment to one person. So… I think it would be incredibly reductive if they still did that with him later, and there would be unavoidable optics that would allow shitty people to say “okay, Benedict had his fun and his whore era; now it’s time for him to get serious and suddenly fall madly in love with a woman he commits to forever.” When a character is pan or bi, it’s very hard to pull that off successfully. Is that enough reason to not do it? Not quite. Would it make Benedict less pan? Of course not, because pan men who are in relationships with women are still pan. Nonetheless, the framing of it would be very precarious here mostly because Benedict’s pansexuality thus far is sort of tied to him having fun and feeling purposeless and waffling about in (if you will) the eyes of society. Getting him to settle down is a slippery slope to – in the eyes of idiots with no media literacy – getting him to no longer be pan. Additionally, they JUST pulled that “okay no more whore era, it’s time to get serious” shit with Colin too. Are they gonna more or less repeat that with Benedict? Why would they? It would be boring and basic as fuck, if you ask me.

-The second and even stronger reason I say let him be married and poly is that it would fit his personality far better than the “time to get serious” approach. The baseline is already in what he’s been doing and saying this whole time, and it’s not very subtle in my opinion. Benedict is an artist (who is currently almost repressing his artistry but that’s a tangential yet different topic). He commiserated with Eloise (who may also be queer) about wanting something more or a different life beyond society’s expectations. Rule breakers or people who stand out as boldly contrarian in a crowd win Benedict’s notice, and that was his whole thing (and queer subtext) even back in season one with Henry Granville, who essentially outright dared him to think on the courage it takes to live “outside the traditional expectations of society.” Benedict’s gotten a taste of that now that he knows he’s queer himself, but it should be taken further. And it’s further emphasized in how he speaks in season 3: another recent time he mentioned the concept of being “free,” it’s in reference to couples who are married and are given more leeway by society to then do as they like as a unit; Henry Granville and his wife were also an original example of that with their arrangement that allowed them to explore their queerness with other people. Add onto that how Benedict speaks of love in season 3 more than once conceptually – how it’s not finite, and how he has an abundance of it to give. He even briefly fantasizes about how he, Tilley, and Paul would explain themselves in public. That goes beyond the simplicity of a man who just wants to have fun or doesn’t want to be serious. Why should all of that disappear because… what, he suddenly meets a woman who rewrites his brain chemistry? Let him truly "be bold"! Let him commit to someone he loves more than anyone else, and then let him have the passion and room in his heart to enjoy an abundance of love and fun and freedom with others too!

-DO YOU SEE THE PICTURE I’M PAINTING?

-Toss onto that the rough idea that Sophie’s very existence and their relationship will be “rule-breaking” on principle already, right? She’s an illegitimate child, she may or may not have a role as maid a la Cinderella, she’s (from what little I understand) not a traditional or “fit” match and all that other bullshit. It lends itself to the idea that Sophie won’t think much of rules herself either and will possibly inspire further bold courage in Benedict. And if they’ll eventually already be breaking rules by being together, why not add on some more? Or, counterpoint: if this version of Benedict wouldn’t find much pause in the breaking of those basic sorts of rules, what other breaking of rules could maybe require courage or introduce conflict / angst / miscommunication in their relationship? Yeah, there’s gonna be the whole “I must find this person who bewitched me at a masquerade ball! Who can she be!” element in the plot I’m sure but… we’ve all seen that before. Let’s branch out a little bit here, people. Let’s dream bigger. Let’s spice it up with some down-the-line “I feel immense guilt because I’m in love with you but I still find other people hot and I crave a freedom I don’t know how to articulate, and it’s definitely not a temptation to cheat but it’s a feeling within me nonetheless, and it’s clearly not something my tunnel-vision wife-guy brothers experience” or whatever.

-Anyway. Here’s the last thought I’ve got (for now). Concept: don’t ask me how, but within the Cinderella-esque / hidden identities plots, let Sophie cross dress as a boy at some point. Let Benedict not know it’s her. Let Benedict still be attracted to her anyway. PULL A MULAN IN THIS BITCH.

-Okay. That’s it.

-Who knows? Maybe this show will give Benedict just his straightforward romance with Sophie and then they’ll explore polyamory for the 2 of them later as a side plot in another season. But eh, I don’t think it would do it justice. I do think they could pull it off in a season centric to him while keeping both romance and queerness front and center. I do think it’s possible!

-Remember… This is part pitch and part prophecy.

-I have a vision. I’ve foreseen it. Benedict and Sophie, pan/bi polyamorous couple who are deeply in love and also like to invite a third into their bed together on occasion. (Or maybe they like to even have their own individual trysts that they then get to go home and tell each other about while having sex with each other.)

-I genuinely think it makes the most sense. They put all that shit in the show that I referenced above, not me. I may be insane, but this really isn’t a shitpost, alright? I argued my case.

-Thank you for your time.

-PS Yes, I am indeed aware that I'm under-qualified to have an opinion here. Don't tear me to shreds. This is how I have fun.

[romanoffsbish]

Paper Rings

Elizabeth Olsen x Fem!Reader

…and Broken Promises

—•~~~~~~•~~~~~~•~~~~~~•~~~~~~•—

The moon is high, like your friends were the night that we first met. Went home and tried to stalk you on the internet, now I've read all of the books beside your bed... The wine is cold like the shoulder that I gave you in the street. Cat and mouse for a month or two or three now I wake up in the night and watch you breathe.

—•~~~~~~•~~~~~~•~~~~~~•~~~~~~•—

Lizzie groaned when the beeping in her mind didn't subside, it only increased in volume, breaking her from the dreams she was having. More so the vivid memories of your whirlwind romance on replay for her, to only be followed up by hopeful imagery her mind's manifesting.

From the early days where she met you at a party thrown by Scarlett Johansson—Marvel's resident party girl, there had been so much going on that night, it'd been an event thrown to bridge the gap for the incoming cast, such as herself, Aaron Taylor, and you—Y/N Y/L/N.

Elizabeth had been a huge fan of yours after she saw you too loved the indie film genre. Your movies were her guilty pleasure, so she had been a little bummed out to find you'd never even heard of her until a week prior. Awkward was an understatement for the both of you, she was gushing to you over the film you just finished shooting, and you were too enamored by her beauty to really engage.

That night you'd looked her up, falling down a rabbit hole of all things Elizabeth Olsen, she was stunning, and her acting was next level. Everything was going well too, until you stumbled into an article about her boyfriend. Your laptop was slammed closed as soon as your silly hopes were crushed, it was only a new crush, but the way she flirted with you all night long had left you feeling a bit hurt after.

So you went to set the following month with an urge to ignore her, and for the first few weeks you managed to do it well. Then at a craft table after a particularly long day she found a way to corner you, her eyes were sad when they found yours, and it was clear to you that it was your doing. So, in the name of professionalism you agreed to eat with her in her trailer, because maybe you had misinterpreted her intentions at the party, but once she leaned in to kiss you it was clear you were right, and you folded.

Lizzie frowned when you resorted to yelling obscenities afterwards, but once she caught the word boyfriend in the mix she was quick to scream it was a tabloid falsehood; she was single, and only wanted to not be if it was you who was going to ask her out. She was smooth, you took the alluring bait, and the rest is a long, sorted and disgustingly sappy history.

—•~~~~~~•~~~~~~•~~~~~~•~~~~~~•—

Kiss you once 'cause I know you had a long night. (Oh!) Kiss you twice 'cause it's gonna be alright. Three times 'cause you waited your whole life. (One, two, one two three four!)

—•~~~~~~•~~~~~~•~~~~~~•~~~~~~•—

"Baby...," your groans of displeasure took Lizzie back to the present moment, she reached over to turn the alarm off, then she rolled onto her side so she could pull you into her warmth., "Thank you baby.," she chuckled softly at your sweet words uttered with the grumpy tone.

Elizabeth allowed you to snuggle into her for a few minutes, but it wasn't long before the next alarm was going off besides your head., "No..."

"Unfortunately, yes my love.," she giggled, her body shifted to turn it off, then with gentle precision she shifted you onto your back so that she could hover over you with a smile., "We've gotta get to set soon honey.," she placed a wet kiss to your cheek, her eyes sparked with joy when she could feel as the muscle twitched beneath her lips as you did your best to fight off a smile., "Come now, we'll save time by showering together.," she winked, then sauntered off before you could stop her.

She squealed however when you jumped up, and pressed her into the bathroom doorway in a matter of seconds., "Not so fast little Olsen.," she glared at you but you only smirked back., "What's my morning time rule, hm?," a silly smile overtook her face as she thought it over.

"Nothing comes before snuggles and kisses.," she repeated the words you've prompted her with for many years now., "Not even Marvel.," you tapped her nose softly., "Exactly.," then in an exaggerated manner you pouted your lips.

She huffed just as dramatically as you as she leaned in to capture your lips in a kiss, it was soft, and slow, just the way you loved it most. Getting to feel her close is all you’ll ever need, which is why you whine every time it’s brought to an end., “Baby, we have to get going, I’m not being late and facing Kevin’s stare once again.”

No amount of sulking or pouting brought her back to you so you reluctantly got in the shower to get cleaned up. A permanent scowl was on your face, and Lizzie made it her mission to bring your smile back, so as you were climbing out she jumped into your slippery arms and pecked your lips repeatedly until you smiled.

“Get dressed, and meet me downstairs in ten.,” and with a final kiss she was leaving you to get herself ready without the distraction (you).

“Are you ready to go love?,” she looked over to you from the front door with the keys in hand., “I’m right behind you baby, I’m just getting our coffees, and lunches.,” you came around the corner with two satchels and tin thermoses. The dirty blonde allowed you through, then locked the door behind you before climbing into the drivers seat and taking off in a rush.

—•~~~~~~•~~~~~~•~~~~~~•~~~~~~•—

I want to drive away with you

I want your complications too

I want your dreary Mondays

Wrap your arms around me, baby

—•~~~~~~•~~~~~~•~~~~~~•~~~~~~•—

“Marvel making us work on a Monday is a war crime.,” you grumbled from beside the far less grumpy woman., “Love, it’s just another day.”

Elizabeth snorted when you loudly huffed and shifted to face the window instead of her, her hand was quick to reach across the divider and gently settle into yours to rest on your thigh. The action was simple, but the way in which this woman cares for you so tenderly on the regular is anything but, she’s just so patient, incredibly kind and lest we forget beautiful.

She was everything you never knew you needed until you finally had her, and there was no way in hell you were ever letting her go now.

Truth be told you were ecstatic for today’s events. While Paul B and the crew over at WandaVision keep Lizzie busy you’ll actually be on another set. Lizzie believes you’ll be on the set of Loki, as that’s normally the case, but the production is actually paused for your sake.

Scarlett, Robert, and all the rest of the original gang will be there as well, setting up what you call the “After Elizabeth says yes party,” and you’ll be there to help them until lunch time when you plan to walk Lizzie down memory lane, and then you’ll drop down on one knee and ask her to be your blushing bride.

After sharing a smattering of kisses you finally parted ways with the promise of a 12pm lunch. That gave you exactly three hours to make sure everything was up to snuff, you weren’t really worried because you gave the reigns to Scar, and she’d yet to disappoint you with parties.

“Well if it isn’t the lady of the hour!,” Downey yanked you into a sweaty embrace and you wretched dramatically., “Unhand me you filthy cretin.,” you swiftly moved into the arms of the others, each one wishing you well until you landed in the arms of Johansson, who’s smirk was nothing if not teasing., “Tell me Y/L/N, how do you plan to ruin the proposal?”

“I’ll have you know my plan is foolproof.,” you groaned and the blonde chuckled., “And yet, I see you still finding a way to muss it all up.,” she reached forward to tussle your hair, and you squealed while jumping away., “Don’t mess up the look Johansson!”

“Oh jeez, please say you’re joking, this is how you plan to propose?,” she scoffs., “In a pair of sweats, and with your hair lazily combed out?”

“Lizzie loves my messy hair and sweats.,” she shook her head., “You’re hopeless, but worry not, I am here to save the day—trust in me, and you’ll be engaged in no time.,” she winked, and you deadpanned., “The Black Widow helping with my proposal… Something about that doesn’t seem very promising.,” she cackled, and pulled your reluctant form alongside her.

Even with your protests you allowed the woman to guide you to her emergency supply of suits, and after a few tries you settled on the sheer white top, with the deep green suit set.

“Good luck Y/L/N.,” she slapped your shoulder, then sent you off with a genuine hug.

A chorus of well wishes followed you out the steel doors, along with a smattering of nerves that had settled deep in your stomach.

“Woah, am I going to get to see you in this on the big screen?,” you smiled shyly, and Lizzie pulled you into her embrace swiftly, her lips pressed to yours just as fast., “I missed you.”

“I missed you too baby.,” you wrapped your arms around her, hugging her properly., “Now, are you ready for a trip down memory lane?,” her brows furrowed, but the nervous look in your eye told her not to tease you just yet.

Lizzie had no clue whatsoever where you were taking her, but when you ended up in her old trailer she smiled at you knowingly., “Our first kiss?,” you nod, then pull her to the couch, and began to unpack your premade lunches. The two of you ate in a comfortable silence, the only thing on your mind was the next destination, and her mind was curious, but she chose to trust the process instead of questioning it.

Once you walked her passed a few sets, talking about the scenes that strengthened your bond, you eventually stopped by the pond in the lot. This was the spot that you asked her to be your girlfriend after a few months of talking, and now it’s where you were falling to your knee.

“Aww, love, this is where you—.,” she turned around with a reminiscent smile that fell into an expression of shock at the sight of you.

"Elizabeth Olsen, I have loved you for as long as I've known you. The immediate infatuation blossomed into the purest of loves I've ever experienced. I never want to be without this—without us, so please do me the greatest honor of my life and say that you'll marry me."

The starlet was in hysterics when you opened the velvet box, the ring was perfect, but it was really your nervous smile that sealed the deal. As if you had anything to worry about after half a decade together, she thought it was adorable, and that didn’t really help your nerves much as she admired you in lieu of answering.

“Baby?,” you began to gnaw on your lower lip, and a wave of guilt passed right through her., “Of course I’ll marry you baby.,” she stepped forward, her hand linking with your free one., “There’s no reason to doubt that, my love for you is unwavering, so please, slip it on baby.”

You wasted no time pulling the jewelry from the velvet box, you smiled up at your now fiancée, then just as you went to slip the ring on her finger it all went to shit. Your fingers were slippery, and so the ring fell from your grasp, and before you could recollect it a seagull swooped in and stole the jewelry.

“Oh my god.,” Lizzie gasps, watching as you were now chasing a seagull around the parking lot, all of your friends giving their spots of hiding away as most keeled over at the sight.

“Please tell me you’re getting this.,” Lizzie asks Scarlett as she sneakily approaches from the side., “Every last second of it, don’t worry.”

The good friends watched as you scaled a trailer in an attempt to catch the bird, it was almost taunting you by having not flown away, but as soon as you nearly had it in your grasp it did just that, taking your ring off into the sky, and leaving you in a bit of a soured mood.

Your lip trembled as you approached your lover in defeat., “I’m sorry, this was supposed to be perfect, and I messed it up.,” she shook her head, immediately throwing her arms over your shoulders, and sighing in relief when yours wrapped securely around her waist.

“I like shiny things.,” you frowned at her words, the reminder of the loss was too soon., “But I'd marry you with paper rings.,” you raised your brows in obvious question, and she smiled., “Uh huh, that's right.,” her soft lips pecked yours., “Darling, you’re the one I want.”

You melted into her, the genuine glint in her viridescent eyes enough to settle your feelings of inadequacy here., “I love you honey.,” she pressed another kiss to your lips., “Nothing is messed up, because in the end I don’t need a ring to know I want to be your wife, all I need is you, safely in my arms; your love is enough.”

“I love you too baby, now let’s go party!,” she giggled behind you as you pulled her into the room that Scarlett, and the boys put together.

—•~~~~~~•~~~~~~•~~~~~~•~~~~~~•—

I hate accidents except when we went from friends to this.

—

Darling, you're the one I want: in paper rings, in picture frames, in dirty dreams.

Oh, you're the one I want

—•~~~~~~•~~~~~~•~~~~~~•~~~~~~•—

“That was so embarrassing.,” you whined, your fiancée giggled as she cuddled up to your side., “What part?,” she couldn’t help but tease you.

“The seagull!,” you shrieked as if it was obvious, and so she chose to leave the drunk karaoke out of the conversation for now., “Oh, yeah, that’s going to be hilarious for interview season.,” your eyes widened., “Oh my god…”

“It’ll be okay my love.,” she kissed your cheek before nuzzling her face into your neck., “The story will be one we tell our kids one day, and they’ll laugh at you the same way we all did.”

“You’re the actual worst.,” you tried to shimmy away from her giggling form, but she held you too tight, and really your efforts were weak from the start., “Yeah, maybe I am, but there’s no turning back now, you’re my bride to be.”

“Lucky for you I don’t want to.,” you rolled onto your side and softly pulled her closer., “I can’t wait to be an Olsen.,” she beamed at the name drop, then she placed an excited kiss to your lips, “Don’t forget the many babies!”

“Oh yeah, how could I? Can’t wait to have mini you’s running all around this big old place.”

“Tiny you’s too!,” she yawned., “I want it all.,” her snores were the next thing you heard, and after a few minutes of just silently watching her breathe you slowly began to slip away too., “I want it all and more with you, goodnight love.”

———

2,622 Words

💕Kaitlyn 💍